#🔑: and biggering... is triggering.. more biggering! | responses

[inked-realm]

I return, and I brought everyone gifts.. again. I even got something for Leona this time to be nice.

For Riddle; A pin that I made. It’s supposed to represent a painted rose.

For Leona; A blanket. Im sure it gets cold.

For Azul; Shell decorum hair clips.

For Jamil; Little hats for all your snakes.

For Vil; New makeup and some fresh fruit for smoothies.

For Idia; Anime trading cards (I got you the rare pack..)

For Malleus; I brought a bouquet of white and green roses.

And for the poor soul trapped here I brought weighted blankets and stuffed animals.

He inspects it emotionlessly, the fire over his eye flickering— before a small grin formed on his ink-stained lips.

"It's.. acceptable~"

—

"Tch, I don't need your pity gifts."

He hissed, swiping it away. Meanwhile, that blot phantom of his, (whom had been shrunken to the size of a housecat for simplicities) snuggled into it like a kitten.

—

"Why, a gift~? How kind.."

One of his tentacles slowly raises, holding a contract— to which Yuusui snagged away.

—

Congratulations! You have made them distinguished bitey gentlemen! (to Jamil's mild, jealous displeasure).

—

Vil, meanwhile, was silently viewing each of the makeup product, running his fingers along the different materials..

"..hm."

He glanced at the fruits, seemingly content.

—

Idia was playing shipwreck 64, but his interest was immediately peaked.

"Ha! Damn~! I totally thought I wouldn't get the chance to nab these in here.." His clawed hands tore one open, giving the rest to Ortho (who was. Literally a ghost)

—

Malleus' eyes widen, a smile slowly spreading across his face.

He seemed appreciative.. and lately, it was rare to see the fae prince looking as happy as he was now— despite being a little translucent.

—

"e-eh?-- I don't usually get stuff-" He shook his head, fluffy black hair ruffling

"Sorry, thank you? I'll put them in my room.. sometime.."

[badbacksadsack]

I am literally forcing myself to be the bigger person, my ex is disrespectful, hurtful and shameless but I have to stay focused if I want to keep myself and my mental health safe. I know as much as it hurts right now, as much as I feel betrayed, this feeling temporary. I know he is already fetishising and using someone else, robbing them of their money and mental energy but as much as I’m hurt to my core, I have to recognise that this is a win, because I am in control of my life, not other people’s actions and honestly that’s not who I want to give access to me anymore. And as much as I didn’t want to do this alone again. I know taking care of myself and my mental health is my only priority. That also includes not airing out my dirty laundry and business in front people who weren’t involved or honestly don’t have to listen; family, friends, colleagues, it is no longer my burden to deal with proving to or having others validate that I am in pain. It feels like a performance. I am finally getting over my over responsibility to constantly worry about this person, feeling like I HAD to get that (horrible) person to where they needed to be, but also understanding that I have bigger things to focus on and another persons goal should never have been my goal. I can’t help but feel so used by them, but I know I was also offering help. I hate being so self sacrificing sometimes, that sick pleasure in helping take care of broken birds. I really couldn’t understand why anything wasn’t being reciprocated, I remember thinking back then, every time I got nothing in return when I was expected to give everything I felt like my ancestors were probably wondering the same thing. I could no longer allow myself to be someone’s stepping stone. To be stepped on so someone else can get to where they want to get to, I have so much grace and intrinsic value as a human being even if it didn’t feel like that before. I deserve much more than I’ve ever allowed myself or been allowed to have. I will not let others define me. And I will sit with myself as I cry, every day if I have to if that’s what it takes to heal, because I’ve never felt that before. I am reminding myself gently that I am whole by myself, I was carrying the team on my own in my last relationship and I want my future love to be my equal. But even before that I want to love myself unconditionally, I am trying my absolute best. when I’m upset, I’m learning how to create safe and calm spaces, when I’m triggered, I’m self reflecting more rather than jumping to blame. I did not ask to experience what I have and I will not blame myself for trying my absolute hardest to make that joyless trauma bonded situation work. Bitterness, spite or vengeance won’t bring me joy or lasting peace, it just robs me of the time and space to create happier moments. I genuinely want to feel better because that’s what I know I deserve. I have to create that peace and stability or it won’t just happen. I hope that I can manifest a much calmer, wholesome existence from this point forwards. Is it cliche to start a vision board? who cares actually, maybe recreating what has worked for others, to help keep that goal or vision for a individual version of a great life is the key 🔑 I’m struggling but who isn’t, I will validate myself more because I always needed someone, anyone to say I was doing a good job and at 27 I’m realising that I can be that for myself

[inked-realm]

*a girl stumbles in, a bit disoriented. there are tears of blot running down her face, and she's dressed as in a dull light green princess-esque dress that is torn and smudged with dirt and grass stains, as if she was forgotten in the woods. she stares at the others in this realm, a bit confused at where she is*

(ooc: hihi, sorry abt what happened to the other account! anyways before it was deleted I was planning on showing u ob!trystia(or felicity as I call her occasionally) bc idk it made sense either think)

-Felicity, @nrcbookclub

"A-ah—"

*He slid the key he was holding into his pocket, the mouse ears up top his head pinning to his hair.*

"Hello, Miss..? I assume you didn't mean to come here, huh."

*He offered her a handkerchief, likely for the tears.*

"So.. any questions? We have more than enough time, after all."

———

*Those who were present seemed disinterested, to occupied with their own personal activities—-*

*Although, few glowing eyes occasionally flicked to Felicity in boredom.*

*At least it was a calm welcoming?*