#''And it meant a lot. I mean it. It... probably didn't seem that way in the moment... but...''

[blackcatxmagic]

It really felt like Brook kept saying the wrong thing. While he had hope that one day things wouldn't be like this between them, this wasn't that day - the pair had some kinks to work out in their relationship before it could feel truly easy again. They were getting there, but they weren't quite there yet. So Brook knew he'd have to re-learn how to talk to Mateo again. Not only was there the elephant in the room, the fact that they had complicated feelings for each other and that Mateo had moved across the country for him, but there was their dark shared history. Mateo kept talking like it was so easy for Brook to just let go, and maybe he should. It had been years, and Mateo himself had put it behind him. And like Mateo said, moving on didn't mean he would forget it. But it felt impossible to Brook, and the truth was he didn't feel like he deserved to move past it. Smiling somberly at his friend, Brook asked, "Can we talk about something else? Please?" It seemed the best way to steer this conversation into safer waters.

And it felt like Brook had misstepped when it came to the compliment too, which he could see now. Why would Mateo want to hear Brook tell him how hot he was? It was true though - Mateo was not only incredibly sexy, the fact that he didn't realize it made it even more true in Brook's eyes. Hearing that though would do nothing to help Mateo feel better - it would just be a disservice to him, and Brook cared too much about him to hurt the man anymore than he already had. So Brook just shrugged, letting it go, though he looked at Mateo meaningfully, as if to say that he understood, that he was self-aware to realize he was hurting Mateo, that he was sorry.

Could he say anything right tonight? When Mateo asked if he was trying to kill him, Brook didn't realize what the man meant for a second, but then it clicked - he had suggested swimming, and Brook knew that there were probably images dancing in the man's head of Brook wet and shirtless. And admittedly Brook had those same images. Just because he was with Silas didn't mean he wasn't still attracted to Mateo. But that hadn't been why he suggested it. Laughing awkwardly, Brook said, "Yeah, maybe not swimming then. It's getting late, and it might get a little chilly, so it's probably not a good time for that." Of course, that wasn't the real reason, and Brook thought they both probably knew it.

It meant a lot to Brook that Mateo had checked up on him, and he smiled gratefully at his friend. His smile faded just a little though when talk turned to magic, though he was the one he'd made his revelation. "No, I don't," Brook told Mateo, shaking his head. "Well not usually. I used it when I left Salem to sort of...like, cloak my location I guess. And I used it in one other instance since being here, but that was an emergency. Generally though, I don't anymore. It's just...safer that way." This was a much heavier conversation than Brook wanted to have, and it was a lot to unpack. He didn't want to tell Mateo the way using magic felt like an addiction to him.

"Yes, I would love to see it," Brook told Mateo. "So let's take that walk. I could show you some of the sights Cardinal Hill has to offer on the way, not that I'll be a great tour guide. I haven't been here that long, after all, though I suppose longer than you." He laughed, and then the pair paid for their drinks. To Brook, it had been an innocent remark about Elian, but he could see how Mateo might take it differently. "That's not what I'm trying to do. I thought we were like...two friends gossiping about people we thought were cute," Brook replied. They walked out together, and as they continued talking about this, Brook said, "That's not really what I meant, but...it's also not a bad idea if I'm being honest. Sometimes that's just what a person needs." They emerged outside into the cool evening air, and Brook glanced over at his friend, nodding. "Yeah, I know that's not really your thing. Maybe I could be your wingman sometime...if you don't think that would be too weird."

It was a disingenuous question; Brook knew what he meant. So Mateo didn't answer it, only allowed a beat of silence to linger between them, poignant. "Why do you think you don't deserve it?" he asked, finally, to try and understand. "You didn't do any of it on purpose." To Mateo, that made the difference. If Brook had intended for all of that to happen, then he absolutely deserved to live with the repercussions forever. But a mistake? An accident? Something that he could never have predicted or expected to happen? It didn't seem right that he should never have a chance to heal and move on from it.

He started shaking his head the moment his friend tried to wave aside the age factor. "You were a kid," Mateo insisted once more, this time low and fierce. "Brain development isn't even completed until around the age of twenty-five," he went on, "that's your prefrontal cortex, Brook, you know this. It's not fully matured in decisions or impulse control until then. You were very much just a stupid kid, involved in stupid things, with other stupid people and their stupid plans." He stared at him a moment. "And if you want further proof of that, then consider this: the decision you'd make today, would be drastically different than the one you made then, and that's how I know." It had taken his therapist a very long time to help Mateo see these facts himself, so he was aware that Brook likely wasn't in any space to truly hear or listen to it yet. He had to want to get better, before he would get better. That's what Mateo learned the hard way. "Don't you want to move past this? Moving on doesn't mean you forget."

Sadly, the other man was likely bound to always say the wrong thing where Mateo was concerned, because it didn't make a difference. Brook was taken, off limits. If Silas wasn't in the picture and Brook had simped over this nerdy professor look of his, those words would have gone down so much differently. But that's not their life right now. The sad fact was, Brook could compliment him, claim how handsome and attractive and whatever else have you to Mateo's charms, and it wouldn't land anymore. Because ultimately, it made no difference where Mateo wished it would. He might as well be some hideous frog person. "No," he tried to put on a good face, "I was just thinking I missed my calling then, to teach." It was a weak joke, but it was some attempt to get past how fugly he felt.

As Brook rattled off ideas of what they could do, Mateo lost himself further in his drink. Oh sure, swimming. The good doctor, wet and bare-chested? "Are you trying to kill me?" he muttered to himself, rubbing a hand over his face. "No," he spoke up, "I'm fine, just.. it's hot, that's all. I wouldn't mind a walk. Get some fresh air." A walk was safe, right?

"Just asked after you," he explained vaguely, with a shrug. He knew Brook's family, asked on occasion and if they could be discreet. "Oh, really?" Mateo looked surprised, to hear that his friend had someone keeping protective spells on him. "You don't use magic anymore?" He thought he could figure out why, though. It all seemed to stem back to that one horrible night, didn't it? But Brook could surprise him, could say it was for some other reason, of course.

"You want to see my shop? Right now?" A slow smile came to his lips then and he nodded, finishing that second drink in record time. "Okay," he licked some of that liquor taste from his bottom lip as he scooted his chair back loudly, "let's go then." Mateo stood, hearing the Elian question again. A third time? Once was casual, twice was interest, but thrice? That gave the definite impression that his friend had an ulterior motive behind what should have been an innocent, curious question. It wasn't hard to decipher what it would be, either. Brook must feel guilty, that he couldn't be with Mateo. "Are you trying to pawn me off on the first available person there is?" he asked in return, a bit shrewdly, though there didn't seem to be any upset over it, either. He knew he should move on, the quicker the better, so that they could get past that, so he understood Brook's possible motivations there. What was there to get upset over? It was only the truth, that Mateo needed to get over Brook.

"Is that the doctor's prescription?" he teased lightly. "Get under someone else to get over you?" He combed fingers through his hair, feeling like a lost cause. "I've never really... been the type, I guess," he said then, as he paid for their drinks and walked outside with Brook. "I'm too... awkward, in those situations." He was awkward, regardless. "I don't understand how someone can just approach another person they don't really know and be like, hey, want to come home with me tonight?"

[andhumanslovedstories]

There was an interesting situation at work recently. I'm gonna keep it vague for privacy, but basically the husband of a patient threatened to shoot hospital employees after he perceived they were ignoring his wife's situation. Which, looking at the case, people were like, yeah, this patient was in prolonged discomfort and had delayed care over multiple shifts due to factors that weren't malicious but were careless. Basically, the task that would have helped this patient was classic "third thing on your to do list." It had to be done, but it didn't need to be done urgently. The impact of not doing this task likely wouldn't be felt on your shift. The work of doing this task would require the coordination of a couple different people. Very easy to just keep pushing it back, and because it wasn't an emergency (until it was), it just kept being pushed back.

You could do a root-cause analysis of the whole thing (and we have) to really break down what happened, but ultimately the effect was the same as if the neglect had been malicious. I'm sympathetic to the husband, as were a lot of people in this situation, because, yes, hospital staff dropped the ball in a way that meant the patient was in unnecessary pain and discomfort with delay of care for over a day, despite multiple requests from patient and family to address the situation. The husband reacted emotionally to a situation where he'd felt helpless and ignored. Institutional neglect ground away at him until he verbally snapped.

And the way he snapped was to tell staff, "I'm going to come back with a gun and shoot you all for what you've done." Which is about as explicit a threat as you can get. Does he get to keep visiting the hospital after that? How do we be fair to him, to the patient, and to the staff? He probably didn't mean it. Right? But how do you ignore a statement like that? If he does come back and commit a shooting, how will you justify ignoring his threat? But does one sentence said at an emotional breaking point define him? How much more traumatic are we going to make this hospital stay?

A couple years back, I worked on a floor a few hours after a patient had been escorted away for inappropriate behavior--by the way, you can't imagine how inappropriate the behavior has to be for us to do that. I have never seen another case like this. That patient said he was going to come back with a gun and shoot nurses that he identified by name. This didn't come to pass. Whether that was because the patient didn't mean it or changed his mind or was prevented or simply was not mentally coordinated enough to follow through on the plan, I don't know. I do know that shift fucking sucked. I remember the charge nurse telling me that it wasn't our jobs to die for our patients. If there was shooting, she told me to run.

There was another situation recently involving a patient in restraints. I despise restraints. I think the closest legitimate use for them is in ICUs for stopping delirious patients from ripping out their ventilators, and that should still be a last resort. I discontinue restraints whenever I inherit them, and I am very good at fixing problems before restraint seem like the only solution. Having said that, I work in a hospital that uses restraints, and so I am complicit in their use. Recently I walked into a situation involving restraints with zero context for what was happening, just that there was a security situation involving a patient who had been deemed for some reason to lack capacity to make medical decisions. They were on a court hold and a surrogate med override, which means they cannot refuse certain medications. The whole situation was horrible, and I've spent the days since it happened thinking about every way I personally failed that patient and what to do different next time.

At one point, the patient called one of the nurses a bitch, and the nurse said, "hey cmon, that's not nice," and the patient replied, "if you were in hell, would you call the devil a nice name?" And yeah! Fair! It is insane to expect people who are actively being denied their autonomy to be polite to us as we do it.

Then there was another patient on the behavioral health floor who got put in seclusion. It's so frustrating, by the way, that staff put them in seclusion because it would have been extremely easy to avoid escalating the situation to the point that it got to. But the situation did escalate, and by the time the patient was locked in a seclusion room, they were shouting slurs and kicking the walls. Other patients were scared of the patient even when they were calm because the patient talked endlessly about guns, poisons, bombs, etc. When I checked in with the patient in the seclusion room, they called me a cog in a fascist machine just following orders. And I was like, yeah. Fair.

Another patient: one night when I was charge nurse, I replied to a security situation where a patient trapped a staff member in the room and tried to choke her. The staff member escaped unharmed. She told me later that the patient had been verbally aggressive to her all day, but she hadn't told anyone because she knew he was having a bad day, she didn't want to get him in trouble, and she didn't think anything was actually going to happen. She said, "Patients are mean all the time."

And another case: I had a different patient with the ultimate combination of factors for violent agitation--confused, needed a translator, was hard of hearing so the translator was of little use, in pain, feverish, scared, withdrawing from alcohol, hadn't slept in two days, separated from his caregiver who had also just been hospitalized--the whole shebang. He shouted at us that we were human trafficking him and could not be reoriented to where he actually was or that he was sick. I tried all my usual methods of deescalation, which I am typically very good at. I could not get him to calm down. He had a hospital bed where the headboard pulls out so you can use it as a brace during compressions. He ripped that out and threw it at the window, trying to shatter the glass. At that point, with the permission of his medical surrogate and with help from security, I forcibly gave him IV medication for agitation and withdrawal. He slept all night with a sitter at his bedside to monitor him. I pondered when medication passed over the line into chemical restraint, but I stand by the decisions I made that shift.

Last one: I had a different patient who was dying who had a child with a warrant out for arrest. We didn't know for what, and no one investigated further because no one wanted to find out anything that might prevent this person from visiting his dying parent. Obviously, "warrant for arrest" could mean literally anything, although it was significant enough that security was aware of the situation and wanted us aware as well, but I was struck by how proactively the staff protected his visitation rights and extended him grace. Everyone was very aware of how easily the wrong word could start a process that would result in a parent and child losing the chance to say goodbye to each other.

In the case of the husband who threatened a mass shooting, you'd be surprised how many of the staff advocated for him to keep all visitation rights. After all, the patient wanted him there.

Violence--verbal, physical, active, passive, institutional, direct, inadvertent, malicious--pervades the hospital. It begets itself. You provoke people into violence, and then use that violence to justify why you must do actions that further provoke them. And also people are not helpless victims of circumstance, mindlessly reacting to whatever is the most noxious stimuli. But also we aren't not that. You have to interrupt the cycle somewhere. I think grace is one of the most powerful things we can give each other. I also think people own guns. Institutions have enormous overt and covert power that can feel impossible to resist, and they are made up of people with necks you can wring, and those people are the agents of that unstoppable power, and those people don't have unlimited agency and make choices every day about how and when to exercise it. We'll never solve this. You literally have to think about it forever, each and every time, and honor each success and failure by learning something new for the next inevitable moral dilemma that'll be along any minute now and is probably already here.

[thegoldencontracts]

Hi sorry to bother you, but can you please make a part 2 of the courting fic where the prefect realizes what they were trying to say and "un-rejects" them?

Love your writing, keep up the good work!!

So happy to see people on the same page as me here, because I wrote the fic right before going to bed and my immediate thoughts were (I feel so bad so themm... wait but they're also being kinda stupid shit GUYS LOCK IN)

Anyways Part Twooo to this fic let's gooo! Featuring them getting a taste of their own medicine because I thought they deserved it (affectionate)

Cultural Exchange

—"You could have just said you liked me."

Characters: Leona, Ruggie, Floyd, Azul (same as in the first fic)

Notes: Let me I tell you I had wayy too much fun writing the little intro for each section I thought I was sooo clever didn't I

Leona:

—Humans are known to give flowers to their objects of affection. Bouquets, particularly those containing roses, are a common gift given to someone a human wishes to date.

Your phone, you noticed, was already open. A google page laid in front of you. Did Leona try to look something up and forget to close it? No, as slothful as he seemed, being careless like this just wasn't in his character.

But the phone was opened to-

Lion beastman courtship rituals.

The page stared you in the face, daring you to read.

"Lion beastmen," it said. "Have extended courting rituals. They stake out their desired mate and spend time building relations."

Wait. Those weeks the two of you had spent together...

"When the time is right, beastmen will often roar to declare their intent. They show desire by pawing, nuzzling, and-"

He'd roared beforehand, hands all over you.

"Biting."

Goddamnit you just fumbled Leona Kingscholar.

You wanted to crawl into a hole. You wanted to apologize. And you kind of wanted to yell at him for not just saying that like a normal person when you asked what was going on.

But that would have to wait for another time.

For now, you'd have to find some way to make it clear you returned his interests.

Flowers. Everyone, boy or girl, old or young, broke prefect or genius lion prince, could probably appreciate a nice bouquet.

So you stopped by Heartslabyul and the Seven themselves or whatever the deities of this world were must have been smiling down upon you, because they had a bunch of extra roses from some growth spell mishap they needed to get rid of.

"Good luck with your boyfriend," Ace had said, snickering.

So here you were. Outside of the Savannaclaw common room, a bouquet of flowers in hand.

"You gonna eat that?" Ruggie, standing in front of you, looking at the flowers scrutinizingly. Noticing the expression on your face though, he just laughed. "Jeez, I'm just joking with ya! I can get my own food. Maan, you're so dense... shishishi, no wonder Leona-san's obvious signs went right over your head!"

Speaking of Leona-

"Can you take me to him?" You asked, and Ruggie nodded.

"'Bout time. Leona-san's been in a mood since you shot him down." You didn't shoot him down, you just asked what he was talking about! "He's been sulkin' all day."

You had a feeling Ruggie was just saying that to embarrass him.

"But anyways, come on! The sooner you lovebirds kiss and make up, the better."

The door to Leona's room was locked. But Ruggie just pulled a hairpin, fiddled with it, and-

Of course he picked the lock.

"Your mate, Leona-san!"

"The herbivore's not-"

And Ruggie was gone. Just you and him now.

Leona stared at you from where he was lounging in his bed, tail flicking expectantly.

"You saw it, right?" He asked, voice deceptively impassive. You nodded.

"This all would've been a lot easier if you just explained what you meant. "I mean..."

You pulled the small bouquet of roses from behind your back.

Leona just stared, confused.

"Are you- callin' me an herbivore or something?" He asked. "You tryin' to say I'm fragile like the flowers?"

What.

He had the gall to expect you to understand these lion mating rituals or whatever, and he couldn't even understand what flowers meant?

"Lighten up, herbivore, I'm just jokin' with you," he said, taking the bouquet. "I do my research."

Unlike you was left unsaid.

"I really am sorry Leona-san," you said. "But how was I supposed to know you biting me was a mating ritual?"

"Well, it's more obvious than flowers," he huffed. You had to disagree, but since he was following your, uh, 'courting rituals'...

"I guess I should return the favor," you said, grabbing his arm. His face flushed ever so slightly, barely noticeable on that tanned skin of his.

And then you bit. He stared, shocked. But not the good kind.

"That," he said. "Was the weakest bite I've ever seen?"

"Huh?"

"You really are an herbivore," he said, before putting his head on your lap. "I'm going to sleep."

His tail flickered contentedly, though.

Cute.

Ruggie Bucchi:

—Humans give food items to their prospective mate, particularly sweet items with either a heart-shape or a heart-shape container. To highlight their affections, the sweet items are often made by hand.

Ruggie had been avoiding you. It was clear as day.

The excited little "Morning, Kantokusei-kun!" whenever he saw you had turned into a chorus of excuses about Leona calling for him and whatnot. His constant visits to your room had all but vanished.

You were getting fed up with it. What did you do? Did you accidentally eat his donut or something?

It all came to a head when you bumped into Leona in the greenhouse.

"Hey, herbivore," he said. There was something almost unnerving about the calm in his voice, the way he scrutinized you like he was picking apart the very fiber of your being.

After a while, though, he laughed.

"Ruggie's got himself up in a twist over nothing," he said.

"Um, what?"

"You," he said. "Do you know," he trailed off. "What hyena beastmen do—"

"—When they find someone they want to mate?"

Where did this come from?

"The guys do this thing," he continued. "Step forward and step away. Then they cross their legs and present their scent."

Oh.

He'd crossed his legs, telling you to join him on the bed...

"Seem familiar?" Leona said, a languid grin. "Good. Now clear this whole thing up. Ruggie's being a pain."

You accidentally rejected him! Goddamnit!

Well, if he'd just been a little more clear, you wouldn't've-!

Whatever. You needed to make it clear you liked him back, you supposed.

And what did you do when you liked someone? Make them chocolates! Heart-shaped ones for good measure. Plus, Ruggie liked food gifts, so that seemed like something he'd appreciate.

So you got to it. Made your chocolates, and off to Savannaclaw you went.

You knocked on the door. Once. Twice. Thrice.

Maybe he wasn't there?

But no; you heard a muffled yelp, from none other than him.

He wanted to hide. Unfortunately for him, in the time of your friendship, you'd long since learned how to copy his lock-picking technique.

Hairpin in the lock. Another one to serve as a tension wrench. And with a little bit of fiddling...

The door was open. Ruggie was staring at you, eyes blown wide.

"Hey, uh, pal!" He said, opening the window. "It looks like Leona-san needs another tonkatsu sandwich, and-"

"I'm sorry," you said, rushing to block the window before he could jump out of it. Well, hopefully that wasn't actually what he was planning, but you could never be too sure. "I mean, you were being really really vague, so honestly it was kinda your fault, but I- you know-"

You sighed.

"Just take this," you said, shoving the box of chocolates in his hands. "This should tell you how I feel."

You didn't know how you expected Ruggie to respond, maybe eat the chocolates happily, maybe say something about the changed nature of your relationship—

But you didn't expect him to stare at the chocolate like it personally offended him.

"What's this supposed to mean?" He asked. "You tryin' to butter me up so I owe you later or somethin'?"

What. What was he talking about. What was going on in his head when he said that.

"They're- They're heart-shaped chocolates," you said. "Do you- not feel the same way anymore or something?"

Ruggie stared at you like you'd just said the sky was green.

"Heart-shaped-" he stared at the chocolates. "Wait, m so iss this like- uh- it could be- you givin' me your heart-"

You saw the moment the puzzle pieces clicked together in his head. He probably didn't have the completely right idea, but eh, good enough. His face went bright red.

"You, shishi, didn't have to- go all this way, y'know," he said. "Not that I'm conplainin'."

He popped one into his mouth, and you could tell he liked it from the way his face brightened.

"Good?" You asked, and he just shoved the uneaten half of the chocolate into your mouth in response, the imprint of his sharp canines clear as day.

You chewed for a few seconds. It really was good. But more importantly...

"That was an indirect kiss, y'know."

"Indi-what?"

"Indirect kiss. Your lips and my lips touched the same thing."

"Talk about weird," he said. "Sharin' food like that's completely normal!"

And then, popping another chocolate into his mouth, he continued:

"Can't you humans just sniff each other like any normal person?"

Floyd Leech:

—Humans will often use humorous expressions of desire with prospective mates in order to gauge interest. These are known as "pick-up lines".

Floyd had been avoiding you all week now. You had absolutely no clue what you did. Was he really that upset you'd told him to just be honest if he was bored with your rambling?

But still, the fact remained that he was avoidant, and just generally in an awful mood. Maybe something else had happened? Maybe it was just a mood?

Your question was answered when Jade cornered you after school, a toothy smile that most certainly didn't reach his eyes.

"I hear you've had quite the spat with my brother, Prefect," he said. "I understand that you may not return his feelings, but I would advise you to apologize for your harsh words. My brother is not, as you insinuate, the sort to court another so casually."

Wait.

Court?

"What do you mean, 'court'?" You asked. "I was talking, he started yawning, he asked me to dance out of nowhere, and then he got angry and left. Simple as that. Where do you see courting?"

The gear seemed to turn in his head for a while, before realization dawned upon him, mouth widening into a little 'o'.

"Prefect," he said. "Are you aware that moray eels open their mouths wide as a sign of desire?

"Huh?"

"When a moray eels sees a prospective mate," Jade re-iterated. "They open their mouths. And as a finalization, they perform a mating dance."

Mouth opened wide... Mating dance...

"Holy shit," you said. Jade just stared at you, still slightly threatening.

"You're telling me he was trying to tell me he liked me and I pretty much called him a fuckboy."

Jade nodded.

"Indeed, you did."

You could only sigh, long and low.

"Damnit."

"I do suggest you, ah, clear the air," Jade said, though his tone made it clear this was more of a demand. "Make it clear to him what I realized."

"Yeah, yeah." You still thought he should've just told you what he wanted.

Jade nodded, satisfied.

"Then I'll be leaving," he said. But before he left, he turned back, for just a split second.

"Prefect?"

"Yeah?"

"My brother and I both lack very little in terms of comfort," he said. "So I think you'll find that actions and words shall both speak louder than any bribes you attempt to bring."

And with that cryptically delivered piece of advice, Jade was gone.

You got to work. No point in making something, you recalled. Best to just bring yourself and your own sincerity.

Floyd was near impossible to track down. You really thought you deserved points just for doing that. He really put you through the wringer, after all.

"Floyd!" you said at last, trying your best to stay calm as he scowled. "I have something to say."

"I don't wanna hear it."

"You- You do!" You said. "Listen, I know you're annoyed because I called you a playboy, but have you ever considered-"

"Shut up."

"-That it was actually your fault for being really really vague while also managing to misunderstand me in the worst way possible?"

Floyd looked like he wanted to snap your neck. He also looked intrigued, though, which was a good sign.

"What're you saying?"

"I'm saying that I didn't know you were trying to tell me you liked me!" You said. "I mean, you looked like you were yawning, and I don't know jackshit about moray rituals, so what the hell was I supposed to think? All I know is—I'm talking, you're yawning, and suddenly you want to dance. Of course I'm going to think you're bored!"

Floyd stared at you for a few seconds.

And then he burst out laughing.

"F-Floyd?!"

"Eheh, you're so stupid sometimes, Koebi-chan!" Very nice. "But you've got some guts for a shrimpy. Maan, I remember why I like you so much now."

In an instant, he was back to his typical, lackadaisical mood.

"Use your head a little more next time, alright? I really thought you were trying to say I was some flaky little guppy," he said. You shook your head vehemently, pushing down your urge to tell him that he was the one being ridiculously vague.

"No, I know you're not like that, I mean- I like you too!" Now what. "Uh- Uh-"

"You know, Floyd," you said. "They say the tongue is the strongest muscle."

Now, he just looked confused.

"It's not. When it comes to strength by size, the masseter-"

"So," you said. "Wanna wrestle?"

He narrowed his eyes.

"Tongue-wrestling would be boring. Why're you even bringin' wrestling up right now? Lame."

Did- Did he seriously not get it?

"Our tongues should wrestle," you re-iterated. He shook his head.

"How'd you even do somethin' like that?" he asked. "Just, like, put your lips together-"

You didn't even have time to realize when it all clicked for him because he grabbed you.

"Changed my mind. I wanna tongue-wrestle with you, Koebi-Chan!"

"And you were calling me the oblivious one?"

Azul:

—Humans will often initiate contact between their lips and the lips of a prospective mate, a phenomenon known as "kissing". When done for an extended period of time, this is called "making out".

Azul did not act particularly different.

But you could tell he was upset. It was written all over the slight strain of his saccharine smile, the way he laid it on just a little bit too thick when he attempted to ingratiate himself to you, and the slight bags under his eyes—a sign he was overworking himself in an attempt to distract from his problems.

Yep. He was definitely upset.

And of course, inevitably, the twins cornered you.

"You did somethin' weird to Azul," Floyd said, glaring at you. "Fix it or I'll squeeze ya."

Jade snickered from behind him.

Of course. Welp, you had absolutely no clue what you did, sooo...

"Is this because I offered to take him to the Doctor's office when his arm kept changing color?" you asked. "Seriously, I knew he didn't like getting help, but- ugh, isn't that too far!"

"Why'd you do that?" Floyd said. "Man, Koebi-Chan really is mean, tellin' Azul he's sick for wantin' to make you his mate."

"What does changing color have to do with, uh, mates?"

Floyd looked like he didn't know whether to laugh or slap you.

"You do know a little octopus like Azul changes color because he wants to be your mate, right?"

...

That couldn't be. That just- it-

"Indeed," said Jade. "Octopi will also often grab their prospective mate from behind."

His arm was changing color. He'd grabbed you from behind.

"Goddamnit," you said. Couldn't he have been a little more specific?!

That was it. You were not dealing with this stupid misunderstanding any longer! This stupid, insanely intelligent, oblivious octopus was going to know you liked him!

You stomped away.

"Where're you going, Koebi-chan?"

"Oya, going somewhere, Perfect?"

"Clearing the air," you said. That seemed to be an answer they approved.

"Actions speak louder than wor-"

"I know."

You cut off Jade's attempt at delivering cryptic advice before storming over to the VIP Room. There was Azul, working on some contract or the like.

"Azul."

"You're not allowed to be in here, you know. There's quite a hefty fee."

"Azul."

"Yes?" He looked up, looking entirely unhappy to see you.

"I didn't realize that thing you were going last week was a part of octopus courtship, you know," you said. "You really should've told me."

"What are you-"

"Let me show you a human courtship ritual to set things straight."

And you kissed him. It was not the sort of kiss that I initiated fireworks, nor was it anything like the novels you'd read. In fact, it was an exceptionally awkward kiss, because Azul was an awful kisser. You didn't entirely mind, though, it was cute.

You both had to pull away because Azul was out of breath, gasping and wheezing like he'd been made to run a mile for P.E.

"Does that make my feelings clear?" You said. He just huffed, looking firmly at his contract.

"I- suppose we can work something out..." He muttered, gesturing to the chair across from him. "Why don't you take a seat?"

The offer seemed simple, but the truth of it was clear.

He was considering that relationship.

So you sat, enjoying the contented silence and the resolved misunderstanding. But there was one thing you had to get off your chest.

"You know, it's insane how bad you suck at kissing."

"Shut it."

[infiniteglitterfall]

know someone who enjoys horror stories? share this one! it's true!

hahahahahahahahahaha aarrggghhhhhhhhhh 3,000,000 deaths due to COVID-19 last year. Globally. Three million. Case rates higher than 90% of the rest of the pandemic. The reason people are still worried about COVID is because it has a way of quietly fucking up your body. And the risk is cumulative.

I'm going to say that again: the risk is cumulative.

It's not just that a lot of people get bad long-term effects from it. One in seven or so? Enough that it's kind of the Russian Roulette of diseases. It's also that the more times you get it, the higher that risk becomes. Like if each time you survived Russian Roulette, the empty chamber was removed from the gun entirely. The worst part is that, psychologically, we have the absolute opposite reaction. If we survive something with no ill effects, we assume it's pretty safe. It is really, really hard to override that sense of, "Ok, well, I got it and now I probably have a lot of immunity and also it wasn't that bad." It is not a respiratory disease. Airborne, yes. Respiratory disease, no: not a cold, not a flu, not RSV.

Like measles (or maybe chickenpox?), it starts with respiratory symptoms. And then it moves to other parts of your body. It seems to target the lungs, the digestive system, the heart, and the brain the most.

It also hits the immune system really hard - a lot of people are suddenly more susceptible to completely unrelated viruses. People get brain fog, migraines, forget things they used to know.

(I really, really hate that it can cross the blood-brain barrier. NOTHING SHOULD EVER CROSS THE BLOOD-BRAIN BARRIER IT IS THERE FOR A REASON.) Anecdotal examples of this shit are horrifying. I've seen people talk about coworkers who've had COVID five or more times, and now their work... just often doesn't make sense? They send emails that say things like, "Sorry, I didn't mean Los Angeles, I meant Los Angeles."

Or they insist they've never heard of some project that they were actually in charge of a year or two before.

Or their work is just kind of falling apart, and they don't seem to be aware of it.

People talk about how they don't want to get the person in trouble, so their team just works around it. Or they describe neighbors and relatives who had COVID repeatedly, were nearly hospitalized, talked about how incredibly sick they felt at the time... and now swear they've only had it once and it wasn't bad, they barely even noticed it.

(As someone who lived with severe dissociation for most of my life, this is a genuinely terrifying idea to me. I've already spent my whole life being like, "but what if I told them that already? but what if I did do that? what if that did happen to me and I just don't remember?") One of its known effects in the brain is to increase impulsivity and risk-taking, which is real fucking convenient honestly. What a fantastic fucking mutation. So happy for it on that one. Yes, please make it seem less important to wear a mask and get vaccinated. I'm not screaming internally at all now.

I saw a tweet from someone last year whose family hadn't had COVID yet, who were still masking in public, including school.

She said that her son was no kind of an athlete. Solidly bottom middle of the pack in gym.

And suddenly, this year, he was absolutely blowing past all the other kids who had to run the mile. He wasn't running any faster. His times weren't fantastic or anything. It's just that the rest of the kids were worse than him now. For some reason. I think about that a lot. (Like my incredibly active six-year-old getting a cold, and suddenly developing post-viral asthma that looked like pneumonia.

He went back to school the day before yesterday, after being home for a month and using preventative inhalers for almost week.

He told me that it was GREAT - except that he couldn't run as much at recess, because he immediately got really tired. Like how I went outside with him to do some yard work and felt like my body couldn't figure out how to increase breathing and heart rate.

I wasn't physically out of breath, but I felt like I was out of breath. That COVID feeling people describe, of "I'm not getting enough air." Except that I didn't have that problem when I had COVID.) Some people don't observe any long (or medium) term side effects after they have it.

But researchers have found viral reservoirs of COVID-19 in everyone they've studied who had it.

It just seems to hang out, dormant, for... well, longer than we've had an opportunity to observe it, so far.

(I definitely watched that literal horror movie. I think that's an entire genre. The alien dormant under ice in the Arctic.)

(oh hey I don't like that either!!!!!!!!!) All of which is to explain why we should still care about avoiding it, and how it manages to still cause excess deaths. Measuring excess deaths has been a standard tool in public health for a long time.

We know how many people usually die from all different causes, every year. So we can tell if, for example, deaths from heart disease have gone way up in the past three years, and look for reasons. Those are excess deaths: deaths that, four years ago, would not have happened. During the pandemic, excess death rates have been a really important tool. For all sorts of reasons. Like, sometimes people die from COVID without ever getting tested, and the official cause is listed as something else because nobody knows they had COVID. But also, people are dying from cardiovascular illness much younger now.

People are having strokes and heart attacks younger, and more often, than they did before the pandemic started. COVID causes a lot of problems. And some of those problems kill people. And some of them make it easier for other things to kill us. Lung damage from COVID leading to lungs collapsing, or to pneumonia, or to a pulmonary embolism, for example. The Economist built a machine-learning model with a 95% confidence interval that gauges excess death statistics around the world, to tell them what the true toll of the ongoing COVID pandemic has been so far.

Total excess deaths globally in 2023: Three million.

3,000,000.

Official COVID-19 deaths globally so far: Seven million. 7,000,000. Total excess deaths during COVID so far: Thirty-five point two million. 35,200,000.

Five times as many.

That's bad. I don't like that at all. I'm glad last year was less than a tenth of that. I'm not particularly confident about that continuing, though, because last year we started a period of really high COVID transmission. Case rates higher than 90% of the rest of the pandemic. Here's their data, and charts you can play with, and links to detailed information on how they did all of this:

Here's a non-paywalled link to it:

https://archive.vn/2024.01.26-012536/https://www.economist.com/graphic-detail/coronavirus-excess-deaths-estimates

Oh: here's a link to where you can buy comfy, effective N95 masks in all sizes:

Those ones are about a buck each after shipping - about $30 for a box of 30. They also have sample packs for a dollar, so you can try a couple of different sizes and styles.

You can wear an N95 mask for about 40 total hours before the effectiveness really drops, so that's like a dollar for a week of wear.

They're also family-owned and have cat-shaped masks and I really love them. These ones are cuter and in a much wider range of colors, prints, and styles, but they're also more expensive; they range from $1.80 to $3 for a mask. ($18-$30 for a box of ten.)

[chewnotchoke]

like no one else can

ೃ࿐ boynextdoor as your situationship

this was fun to write,,i was wondering if i should make individual fics abt this...what do yall think? ^__^ feedbacks and comments are appreciated ! and also my ask is always open if u wnna chitty chat <3

warnings: fluff, intense pining, light angst, signs of red flags

wc per member: ~250-400

sungho

“i’m trying to understand what am i to you?”

𓍯 situationship with sungho would be filled with a lot of "almosts" that keep you guessing, excitement, and unexpected outcomes. he would have this easygoing, carefree attitude as if he truly enjoyed your time together, but he’s also hard to pin down. he would bring you as his ‘plus one’ to parties or events and he has once invited you to a family outing “as a friend”

𓍯 sungho likes to do actions that you couldn’t help but assign meanings to these little things. he would give you a bite of his food in between laughter and throw tiny comments such as “i thought about you the other day.” the way he laughs at your jokes, recalls small details you mention, and checks up on you in between classes makes you question if he does the same with other people. if you didn't witness him opening doors for people, helping classmates with their homework, and giving the same endearing smile to anyone in need, it would be quite easy to convince yourself that the things he did to you meant something.

𓍯 when you mention being cold, he casually throws his hoodie over your shoulders and says, "just give it back whenever." yet it stays with you for days and he doesn't bring it up either, as if sharing his hoodie has become a relationship between you two. but when you decide to give it back, your heart aches to see another girl wearing his hoodie.

𓍯 the combination of highs and unanswered questions would be thrilling, and his charm would entice you to return for more. but the question “what am i to you” hangs in the open air because then, if you really meant something to him, he wouldn’t have treated others the same way he did to you.

𓍯 was it mutual at some point? maybe, or maybe not.

riwoo

“i know it’s casual but i look for you in a room full of people”

𓍯 likes having alone time with you. plans a hang out with your friends to watch a movie but the truth is he didn't invite anyone else just so he could watch the movie and spend time alone together. at the end of the movie, you'd just be wiping off your lips because you spent the whole time making out.

𓍯 situationship with riwoo is almost like a secret. he knows how to pull you towards him, and the relationship has you on chokehold. most of the time, he makes moves that make you question the very foundation of your relationship. he acts like he likes you. but does he actually do?

𓍯 during a chill drinking celebration at your friends' house, both of you always find a reason to text each other even if you're literally in the same room. that one time when you were seated a little too far from him, he pulls out his phone, typing under the table making sure no one gets a peak of his message, he would send you, "you're too far from me :(" it seems as though the thread that binds you is stronger than everything else, and every communication feels like a secret that only the two of you know. you'd look up from your phone to give him a glance and he gives you a subtle look—the look that even when you try to look away, you could feel his eyes settled on you.

𓍯 his red flag would probably be saying things like, "would you be jealous if i went out with someone else?" or talking about his ex. but right when he gives you enough reasons that he's not good for you, he pulls the "what would it take for us to stop pretending this isn’t more than casual?" card.

jaehyun

“you say we’re just friends but why do you look at me like that when no one’s around?”

𓍯 when you clearly don’t look like you’re just friends but it’s becoming a running joke now–jaehyun responds without skipping a beat whenever someone arches an eyebrow and asks if there is more going on between you and him. he casually replies, “we’re just friends.” and each time you force a smile that falls short of your eyes, you nod along.

𓍯 jaehyun has this habit of leaning towards you whenever he laughs, sometimes his head falls on your shoulder for a moment which kinda makes you flinch during the first few times but now that you’re used to it, you let your heads touch each other when you laugh together.

𓍯 when he spots you alone leaning outside the glass door at a party, you feel his presence slowly approaching you and then he simply stands there in comforting silence, staring at you in that familiar way, without saying anything at first. when you told him that you get more comfortable attending parties because he’s around, he’d flash a smirk, and his eyes return to the expression he always gives you when no one else is there. jaehyun looks intensely at your face as if he’s searching for something–searching for a sign.

𓍯 you can’t resist yourself to ask him a question if he’s sure about it. “sure about what?” his tone is gentle, and the corner of his mouth twitches as if he clearly understands what you are saying. “sure that we’re just friends…” you replied. jaehyun pauses before responding. he just looks at you, his eyes darting to your lips and back to your eyes, a spark there that he tries to conceal but can't quite get rid of. he lets out a tense and nervous laugh. “yeah, we’re just friends.” but his words were laced with hesitation and uncertainty. and there you thought, maybe the look he gives you is enough, for now.

taesan

“you treat me like this because you know you're my weakness.”

𓍯 taesan knows how flustered you get when he touches you. during lunchtime with your other friends, you tried to ignore how he sat closer to you than usual. when your friends make a joke and others laugh along, you try so hard to focus but you just can’t seem to grasp the fact that his knees and yours were touching. then, his fingertips lightly touched your leg, so gentle at first that you nearly questioned whether it was an accident. however, taesan’s hand becomes steady and warm, and you can only sense his calm presence. you attempt to maintain a neutral appearance on the outside as your heart twitches and your mind attempts to process the unexpected sensation. his smile is as laid-back as ever, and he continues to laugh with the group as if this is nothing unusual.

𓍯 situationship with taesan can be a little frustrating. he likes to give you mixed signals. he’s mostly all about you most of the time and he holds eye contact like you’re the only person he could see. but then the next day, he barely acknowledges your presence. he’s quiet and doesn’t speak to you. but you know what’s bad for you? the fact that you'd fold immediately bcs he really just knows how to give you butterflies right when you think he’s not interested. taesan would come up behind you, whispering to your ear saying, “i missed you today.” and you would quickly fold like you didn't just question everything about him.

𓍯 at some point, the feelings were mutual. but you got tired of going around in circles waiting for nothing to happen, so you just decided to move on and bury your feelings just to keep the friendship.

leehan

“teach me how to not care about these feelings that keep me up at night for nothing.”

𓍯 you don’t talk everyday but that’s what makes everything thrilling. and when you do talk, texting usually lasts until 3am. although you can feel the weight of your eyelids by this time, you try to stay awake just to converse with him. conversations with leehan are almost raw, something about each message is intimate—one you probably wouldn’t hear in the daylight. the thought that he actually also stays up with you makes you wonder how much he’s also feeling.

𓍯 leehan has the subtlest way of making you laugh. he’s nonchalant but he’s the type to make you intrigued without fully committing. with that being said, he knows when to pull back when he thinks you’re getting a little too attached over a situationship even if he's the one responsible for making you feel that way

𓍯 after dates, goodbyes often linger in the air. both of you enjoyed too much to actually walk away and go back home. when he stands close enough to hug you, you could feel his hand linger on your back like he’s in no rush to go back home. both of you stood there quiet, glancing at each other, enough to decipher by the look of your eyes that there are still unsaid words. “i’ll text you when i get back home.” he holds both of your hands as they slightly brush away from yours whenever he takes a step back. you know yourself you want something more from this situationship which causes your heart to ache.

𓍯 leehan is still not letting go of your hand even at the point where your fingertips are only touching each other. “let’s do that next time.” he says and adds, “sleep over.”

𓍯 and when he actually gets back home, you don't receive a text from him at all, and talked again the following days like nothing happened.

woonhak

"why does it feel like we’re both waiting for the other to make the first move?"

𓍯 it’s painfully obvious that both of you like each other. neither of you just couldn’t bring yourself up to confess. there’s always this tension that hangs heavy in the air when you’re with him. you're lounging on his couch while watching a film. with his shoulder almost touching yours, he is closer than friends should be. the couch's modest size is a flimsy excuse, but you both know there's more to it. woonhak’s arm occasionally moves, grazing yours and giving you a shiver, but he doesn't pull away. both of you are dancing around that invisible line, on the brink. his hand is getting closer and closer till your fingers would touch if you both moved even a little.

𓍯 every time you're together, you experience this torturous pulling, waiting for the other to finally release the tension that has been building for weeks. his hand moves next to yours, his fingers flexing as though he wants to grab you but isn't quite brave enough. and you can't help but wonder whether you're both simply waiting for a sign, anything that would eventually allow one of you to cross that line.

𓍯 woonhak constantly teases you, looking for excuses to rub your hair or bump into your shoulder, and he enjoys seeing how you respond to his pranks. he says something, though, that takes you entirely by surprise just when you think it's all a friendly act.

𓍯 “i feel like we’re both good at being complicated.” he chuckles. you can sense that you're both still holding back and skirting the truth because you're afraid of altering something that feels so near-perfect. but when you meet his eyes, you can see that this isn't the end of it because of the little warmth that remains in his smile.

[atrwriting]

beneath -- matt murdock x you

what's up whores back with another porn no plot one shot

as always, warnings: smut, soft dom matt, sub reader, p in v penetration, swearing, oral, soft choking

happy reading >:]

he liked you beneath him.

matt murdock didn't have a lot of control in his life, as he felt like he was always one step behind everyone else -- trying to keep up with something that was easier for everyone else. his mask also was a constant reminder of this as he felt that, for his safety and those he loved, he could never show how capable he truly was. no matter what, he was always keeping a part of himself hidden -- burdened by the greater good, which always seemed to be present and always seemed to be to his detriment.

and that's why he liked you beneath him.

sex with you was the one place he didn't have to hide his strength like in his day to day life, nor his weaknesses when he wore the mask -- he could just be himself. he liked control, and he loved when you lost it.

matt wasn't into chains and whips, no -- and he'd probably laugh curiously if anyone had shown their spark of interest to him. nothing against it, he'd say, because how could he tell them the truth? how could he tell regular people what truly excited him? to use these hands, muscles, and skills for good? bringing someone to the brink of pleasure and holding them there until they begged him to stop? what really interested matt was how comfortable he felt letting every single part that he usually kept hidden shine in those small moments of intimacy.

he never had to open your thighs for him, no -- they always slid open just enough for him to fit snug against you before you would lock your ankles at his lower back. the soft tug from your heels would pull him into you, eliciting a moan and a roll of his hips from him. he couldn't see your face -- how your eyelashes would flutter closed when he touched you, how the heat would spread across your cheeks and the back of your neck when you could feel his breath, nor how the whites of your knuckles would show when you fisted the sheets when he was near. he couldn't see any of that, unfortunately -- but he could feel it.

with you beneath him, he could feel every part of it.

"close your eyes, sweetheart," he would say.

and you would. you'd follow every direction he gave you if it meant he would slip his perfect fingers inside the lace of your panties.

once your eyes were closed, you tried to use your senses to sense other things. the light stubble on matt's face. the way his muscles felt especially taut. his aftershave. the mint on his breath. the deepness of his groans. the lightness of his small laughs. how his kisses felt. it was like matt wanted to overstimulate your senses, making sure you were driven as wild by him as he was driven by you. and with matt -- you let him. you let yourself be consumed by him. you let that control go, because no one had ever made you feel safer than in the moments beneath him.

and when he finally dipped his fingers inside you, you let out a small sigh of relief.

"yes..." you couldn't help but whine. "please, don't tease -- i can't take it today."

he ran two pads of his fingers up and down your slit. the friction was barely enough to satisfy you, but definitely enough to frustrate you with the lack of it. and when matt laughed, it was like he could feel the frustration building inside your chest. he could hear the frustrated sigh push past your lips, the frustrated tear begin to prick at your eyes, and the frustrated heat build on the back of your neck. it bit and it snapped at you, rabid in its hunger -- and matt could hear the battle in your heartbeat. again, he couldn't help but laugh.

"i can feel how stressed you are," he spoke evenly, despite the hidden tease in the meaning.

"i am," you huffed, trying to lean further into the movements of his fingers.

"we should take care of that, shouldn't we?"

and take of that he did.

you kept your eyes closed, and your fists wrapped in the sheets. matt had one forearm placed beside you, holding up his weight. every so often his skin would brush against you, and you cold feel the power in those muscles. the strength. the talent. the capability. matt murdock was a fucking wonder and you were amazed at how you were so lucky to be in the position you were with him. he had shoved two fingers inside you, twisting his wrist so he could also use his thumb to rub those circles you loved so much. his fingers were coaxing your upper wall, finding the spot that made you melt in his hands. he felt you squirming underneath him, and a coy smile took over his features. neither of you could see his smile, but you both knew it was there. matt's cockiness. ugh -- it drove you wild. you had grabbed onto his neck for dear life, unable to do anything besides take everything he gave you from beneath him.

"thaaat's it," he would speak, after you would begin to let out strangled whines for him. "that's it. feels so much better, doesn't it?"

"yes, matt --" you'd cry. "please -- you can't stop."

"i wouldn't," he stated. "not when I can feel how close you are. still got those eyes closed for me, sweetheart?"

"yes, i promise," you sobbed, trying to still the stirring of your hips. you could lie, sure -- because who wouldn't want to stare at matt murdock in all of his glory? -- but something about the trust and the intimacy of the moment was so perfect, so sexy that you couldn't help but want to give over that control to him. it was his, all his, and no one else's. no one would ever treat it with such care, let alone be as deserving of it as matt was. "it just feels s-so good matt. i don't know how much longer i can take it..."

"shhh," he cooed. "i know you can. i'll make it better. take it, sweetheart."

"fuck --" you sobbed, pushing your forehead into the crook of his neck.

with his forearm still balanced on the bed, he grabbed your hair to pull your neck taut enough to hold you close to him. he had locked your hips with his, keeping you still and open just for him. matt and everything about him drove you wild -- wild to the point where you couldn't help but be frustrated and in need of release. but when he had you here? beneath him? giving you everything you needed? taking everything he needed? you couldn't help but let him take over all of your senses.

and when you came, every muscle of yours contracted. he held you as still as possible so he could feel every movement. he wanted to feel the jerk in your hips. he wanted to feel how your calves shook. he wanted to feel how you upper body went tight, and how your little strangled breaths felt against the skin of his neck. the smell of your arousal hung in the air, and he took in the deepest of breaths.

"all mine," he would say, before he slid one of his talented fingers into his mouth.

you would open your eyes, then -- just a tad, because you couldn't help it. you witnessed as matt's lips wrapped around his fingers, sucking in the tanginess of your essence. you stared in awe at hi beautiful face, finally able to witness that coy smile. heat once again reclaimed your cheeks, but not from embarassment -- from want and need. from his and yours.

"please," you would plead, even though you had no strength left.

he flipped you over then, onto your stomach. you tried to maneuver, but he wouldn't let you. he would press his front to your back, and slide inside you. you both let out a strangled gasp, unable to fight the demand of the sensation.

you would have to be the one to grab his arm and force him to wrap it around your neck. he secretly loved it, and you know knew that, but you also knew he was never comfortable being the first to ask for it.

every thrust was a tease. matt could fuck you both into the wall, as anyone knew how much power he had behind those hips. but no, matt murdock was a rat bastard through and through -- and he wanted to make you work for it.

"too much, sweetheart?" he'd groan into your ear, letting his length rock back in forth inside you.

"not enough," you spat through gritted teeth.

"oh, really?"

every thrust was a punishment then. with one arm, he held your hips upward so his length could hit that perfect spot inside you. stars was all you saw as you struggled for breath. each thrust reminded you that matt murdock was not to be underestimated, nor messed with. you could feel how you clamped around him, trying with every reflex and bit of strength you had left to keep him inside you. every thrust of his was a show of dominance -- matt controlled you, and all you could do was take it.

nothing had felt so good as when he began to groan into your ear, making the hairs on the bac of your neck stand up. you would shiver at the feeling of his stubble across your cheek, loving how he felt against you. and when he would slip a thumb into your mouth for you to suck on, to keep you anchored? oh, both of you were done for.

thrust. "so." thrust. "fucking." thrust. "good."

"please, matt --" you whined. "i want you to come for me."

"fuck..." he would grunt, before he adjusted the both of you.

with one arm still cradling your neck, the other slipped between the both of you. he found your clit once more, and drew the roughest, sloppiest circles he could. every circle and every thrust he gave you was just another reminder that only matt murdock knew your body this well. he could hear every thrum and vibration of every heartbeat, pump of blood, and breath you took. and you fucking loved it.

you closed your lips, wanting to keep the sob of pleasure hidden from it.

"that's it, sweetheart," he'd grunt. "i'm so close --"

and when he would bite down on your shoulder, you were through.

a loud scream would rip through you as you pushed your face into the pillow. so muffled the neighbors couldn't hear, but matt could. oh, matt definitely could. it racked through him like fuel, pumping his primal blood so full until all he could do was empty himself inside you. he held onto you as his hips stuttered as your cries filled the room. throbbing was all he felt as your walls clenched around him, and his length pumped you full of him.

"so pretty for me -- like this," he'd speak as he came down from his high, you still drunk on yours. you'd feel the calloused skin of his hands run across your skin, a comfort he wanted to provide but it only made you shiver in excitement and overstimulation. "all for me. you're stuck with me, sweetheart."

----

im so obsessed with this man - L xoxo

[spiritgutz]

TWO TIME HEADCANONS

i am obsessed with this freak and need to dump my thoughts

WARNINGS: brief mentions of blood (involving two time's wings) and cults, two time being two time word count: 914

authors note: i'm extremely rusty with writing and i quite literally never use tumblr. please forgive any mistakes i've made as i try to get the hang of this 🙏

First of all, Two Time is absolutely enamored by you. The two of you are practically connected by the hip. It may seem a bit much, but they just feel so drawn to you! Why wouldn't they want to spend every waking moment by your side?

Very touchy. Their hand is usually almost always on some part of you in public, most likely on the small of your back or simply holding your hand.

They would likely refer to you as their "guardian angel."

You'll catch them staring a lot pre relationship with that signature smile on their face.

Glances turn into full-on staring, innocent touches seem to last longer, your personal space seemingly becoming shared between the two of you.

In all honesty you probably catch on fairly quick to their habits.

From across the cabin you could feel eyes trained on your frame. Most would find this unsettling, but you honestly didn't mind. You didn't move to find the source, nor acknowledge it for that matter.

However Chance, who you had just been talking to, seemed more focused on something behind you rather than conversing. You tilted your head in confusion before twisting your body around to discover the distraction. Ah, that suddenly made a lot more sense. Settled up on the second floor, Two Time gazed down at you while their arms rested on the wooden railing. Their smile seemed to grow the moment your eyes locked with theirs. Chance would address you, asking something along the lines of "Are they bothering you?" In response you would only wave your hand dismissively. Their behavior, albeit creepy at times, didn't bother you. It was almost...endearing.

As stated by the devs, Two Time is a little "insane in the membrane." But this doesn't mean that you love them any less!!

They can and will talk to you about the cult and the Spawn as a whole.

Speaking of that, Two Time would love for you to be a member of the cult someday! They won't force you by any means, but that doesn't mean they won't try and persuade you.

Sometimes you'll catch them watching you while you sleep. They'll just..stare at you. They almost act like a cat in that regard.

They sleep almost completely still minus the subtle rise and fall of their chest.

You might just end up staring at them instead. They look so peaceful when they're asleep, so serene.

I'd like to think that Two Time naturally runs colder than most people. Their hands would be like ice cubes.

PLEASE PRETTY PLEASE GIVE THAT CULTIST A HUG!!! WARM THEM UP RIGHT NOW!!!!

Two Time will melt if you touch their hair. I'm not arguing about this I am correct and anyone else is WRONG /lh

One of their favorite things is when you comb your fingers through their hair as they lay on top of you after a round is completed. It makes them feel safe

The two of you have totally fallen asleep on the cabin's couch before

If you're an active participant of the games(?), Two Time will always put your safety before theirs. A killer is trying to attack you? They’re using their body as a shield to protect you.

As much as they want to keep you safe, you're very against their methods. Your heart sinks whenever you see their wings burst from their back.

Sat on their bed, your hand gently trailed down from Two Time's shoulders, to their back, to just below where their wings had sprouted from their back the round prior. Their shirt still had remnants of dry blood, just barely blending into their black top.

You hadn't meant to get in the way. One moment you were assisting with a generator, and the next you were almost another victim of the masked killer, Jason. You surely would have perished right then and there if Two Time hadn't grabbed you by the arm, pulling you behind them as they took the blunt of the attack.

As you relived the events again in your head, a shuddered breath left the cultist sitting in front of you. Snapping out of your daze, you muttered an apology. You didn't want them to be hurt, to have put their life on the line for you.

"The Spawn would be pleased in knowing you're safe."

Two Time spoke, tilting their head back and smiling your way. It was pained.

Deep down you knew they would do anything for you, but you couldn't help but feel guilty. Even "The Spawn" seemed to encourage Two Time's efforts despite the pain that came with it. So wordlessly you shook your head.

You leaned forward, placing a soft but fleeting kiss just in-between their wings. Their posture stiffened at your actions, almost making you wonder if you had upset or even worse, hurt them. But they soon relaxed, releasing a sigh of contentment. You took notice of the way their face blossomed in color.

A wave of silence washed between you two. However as your finger traced shapes along their shoulder, your partner spoke up again, although a bit quiet.

"Perhaps they would be pleased with my safety as well.."

Their muttering, that small revelation—it brought a smile to your face. Carefully you leaned in and placed a kiss on their cheek, causing them to chuckle. They're devoted to The Spawn, but to you as well. Even if it conflicts, they'll try and make you happy <3

[luludeluluramblings]

Smalltown!Meta!Reader x Yandere!Batfamily: Part One - Rewrite

A/N: I got stuck on the action scenes in Part Nine and decided Hey, I should rewrite the earlier parts since my writing has improved. Only to realized, a lot of shit went down in those earlier parts. lol. help. This is 4.6k words and I have to make into two parts because so much happened.

Link to the Original Part One.

Warning: Parental Death, talks of grief, Bruce being an obsessive and cryptic mf, Alfred being a bit delulu, attempted GN!Reader.

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You had a happy childhood. You know that. You've always known that. People had repetitively said it to you. Over and over again. Blessed. Lucky. Privileged. Not just with material things, but with affection and talents. And, it seemed to increase as you got older and the circle of people you interacted with slowly began to expand and bubble around you. Sure there were some struggles. Some terrifying and suffocating moments. But, life was good.

You were quite serious as a child when you were told to be grateful for what you had. You'd say that mind et helped you retain some level of humility. But, in reality, you were grateful because you were selfish and didn't want to lose what you had. Not even for something better. You had enough. You could make the rain fall or the sunshine or even make a snowman on a hot summer day. And, you were loved. What more could you want?

The children's stories about being greedy stuck with you. So, being a little selfish was fine, but being greedy was not.

Besides, there was nothing to be greedy for. You had loving parents, lived in a wonderful community. Fresh air, good food, good clothes. An annoying, but lovable little brother.

Life was practically perfect.

I mean, sure, you had to live with the knowledge that Daddy wasn't your real father. It wasn't something that had been hidden from you. You knew, you were told. He loved you all the same and spoiled you almost as much as he did your Momma.

The way he loved you was without question. You might have thought he would have been weirded out when you discovered you were a meta, but out of everyone in the town and in the family, he had been your rock. He'd been the one to sit with you when you struggled not to make it rain in the house. When you accidentally shot off lighting when you sneezed. When your crush said you looked cute and a snow flurry followed you around for three days.

But, there was the fact that you just wanted to know who it was. Daddy even agreed that you should have been told who the man was. Not that even he knew. He didn't care about knowing who the man was. He'd probably just thank him for giving him such a blessing before containing to enjoy his easy going life.

You weren't greedy with it. In fact, you had dropped the topic after months of asking.

So why did everything fall apart if you didn't commit the sin of greed?

Why were you standing over two graves in the back of the family property surrounded by your loving town?

You couldn't muster the will to let rain fall. Rain was your delight. A delight you shared with Momma and Daddy. With them gone, seemed the only thing to fall was you and Lukie-boy's tears.

Condolences and condolences. You knew everyone meant well, but right now all you wanted was to curl up in Momma and Daddy's bed with your little brother and bury yourself under the covers. Just pretend this was a nightmare.

You didn't care that you were almost an adult, the grief left you feeling strangely like a child.

Nana had taken over most of the proceedings. While Granddaddy kept you and Luke close. You couldn't stop yourself from leaning into him. Being reminded to the silently way Daddy would hold you. Nana had a tendency to be overbearing and she was even more so today as she fluttered about Luke and you with concern.

You had to remind yourself she was also burying her son, and that made you hold back your tongue and most of your tears.

It wasn't until everyone moved back to the church building for some food that you felt the shift in the atmosphere. One you know you hadn't caused yourself with your lack of energy at the moment.

There was a man. He wore a sharply fitted black suit. Faintly you heard Mae mutter that it was Tom Ford in the same tone she used when speaking about her fabric and bugs.

You didn't recognize him. In fact, no one seemed to recognize him. That was until you really looked at him and you meet his gaze with your own solemn one.

Everyone said you were a sweet child. But, Mae was your best friend and she had little filter on her thoughts. And, you recall what she had said to you once after that long forgotten incident in the bayou a few years back.

"When you frown, when your eyes narrow, when your nose wrinkles in anger and annoyance, you're entire face reminds me of a dark and stormy night. Like from the stories. Even when your eyes glow, there's a shadow sometimes."

You had seen what she was talking about in the mirror once. Had wondered who it was you had gotten that from. It wasn't from Momma, or MawMaw, or Gab. But, you remember the way your Momma would sometimes look at you when you got like that. The way she'd poke your sides until it went away or held you close until it melted it off.

You didn't know who you got it from back then.

You did now.

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Bruce had hoped this day would come, but not like this. Not in a way that felt like history repeating it's self once more.

Two people dead, but this time two children left.

He wasn't even meant to get the call from what he knew. It was an accident. Something he was grateful for when he pushed that DNA test on Adeline all those years ago. A social worker, fresh to the field, called the manor. Luckily, Alfred had picked up the call. And, right when Bruce had walked down the steps, nearly missing the last one when he saw the expression on his face. One he has seen a few times before.

"Yes, he's just come down. I'll inform him myself, and he will be there promptly. No, no, travel will not be an issue. Thank you, Ma'am. Have a pleasant evening." The elderly man's voice remained stoic and composed, but Bruce watched him lean all his weight onto the decades old accent table enough for him to hear both, the bones of his Butler and the table, creek.

Alfred pressed a hand to his face, only letting out a sigh when he wanted to curse. Curse the word. Curse the Wayne name, curse the blood. Just scream at the cursed world. But, he didn’t.

He couldn't even bring himself to look at Bruce. His son. Knowing that this would break another piece of him once more.

"Ms. Adeline and her husband have passed."

Bruce's reaction is immediate as he moves in a rush. "The children-"

"Alive and well. Or, as well as they may be, all things considered," Alfred manages to finally take a weary breath before letting out an exhausted exhale.

"Drunk driver. Ms. Adeline and her husband had been on a date that evening. The children had been home. They pulled the car from one of the swamps this morning after a fisherman spotted it. It- It appears Ms. Adeline was rendered unconscious during the crash. And, Mr. Anderson drowned trying to unbuckle her." The old butler manages to keep a slightly even tone when speaking. Relaying the information he managed to garnish from the young social worker.

For Bruce it was a tragic sigh of relief. You were alright, but not alright. Tragedy had struck you, but not taken you.

"I'll be leaving to get-"

"The young Jean-Luc is already set to stay with his grandparents. But, the courts deemed you fit to take custody of our-" Alfred coughs, catching himself.

"Understood." Bruce grits his teeth. He doesn't want to separate siblings, but maybe you being around your other siblings will be enough. Besides, he can petition for custody. Surely an elderly couple would prefer their grandson stay with his closest relative?"

"I'll have my secretary arrange a flight out and clear my schedule. We need to cover all press leaks as well." Batman was in control now, already coming up with a plan and mentally coming up with a new patrol roster for the coming few days while he heads towards the cave.

"Alfred, prepare a room for them, please." He also asks, knowing the older man would need something to do unless Bruce wanted him to nearly exhaust himself by cleaning the manor top to bottom.

"Which room, sir?"

Bruce pauses to consider the options in the manor. Most of the rooms having been filled by the others or are in need of repair.

But, one does pop into mind.

"The Madam's Room."

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During the flight to that little backwater town in Louisiana, Bruce passes the time with his own thoughts. It's only a four hour flight by private jet, but, for a man like him, playing with the thoughts in his head can be dangerous.

The 'what if's linger in his mind. The few times he's allowed himself to stare at you through the screen of the Bat computer on your birthday. The occasional way he'd let his eye's linger on Adeline. Noting how she's aged like wine. How she remained soft and warm in each image and her only wrinkles were faint and clearly from sunshine and laughter. Faintly he could hear it echo even now. The throaty sound added to the list of things that haunt him.

Sometimes his eyes would linger on Jean-Luc in those rare instances. The boy an exact replica of his mother, with her warm brown eyes and curls. Sometimes, he'd pretend they were dark blue like his own. But, only for a second before he wiped to computer's hard drive and replaced it with another one.

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Your feelings over the entire matter were… complicated. You certainly didn’t expect to find out your biological father was one of THE richest men in the entire world.

But, it was just such an odd situation.

You had wondered about him, yes. But, you didn’t want to leave everything behind in your hometown.

Nana had thrown an absolute fit about him taking you. It was almost terrifying to watch the sweet woman you loved practically spittle with rage. Though in her defense, he had offered to take Lukie-boy too. Like an added bonus. Apparently he collected orphans judging from your quick google search in the bathroom after his arrival. Guess that means you fit his criteria now.

You had flinched when he’d done that. You understood he was trying to keep the two of you together - you did appreciate that, but the dirt over Momma and Daddy’s graves had barely settled before he’d made the offer in that almost posh accent of his.

It had soured things a bit, but you tried. You had tried.

Reassuring Nana that you’d call her every week helped her cope a bit. Telling her you’d promise to keep her updated helped soothe her some. And, asking her that she help by just focusing on Luke seemed to bring her back to reality.

Though she did grumble and get that terrifying look in her eyes when your family lawyer, one of the town residence explained that a new social worker had made the call to him accident. That same look that made Momma weary and Daddy's face age. But, they weren't here any more so there was only you to watch with furrowed brows.

Instead you hugged Luke, kissed his curls like Momma used to only to the be pulled into tight embraces and firm grips by nearly everyone you knew before boarding the private jet with your father.

It felt weird to say father.

Daddy was dead. Drowned and buried and in the dirt. Yet, here was your father. You didn't want to replace Daddy.

You also didn’t know how to react. How to handle this new father. And, you guess neither did he. Since for the first two hours of your flight to Gotham city, the man was completely silent. So instead you decided to look for similarities. Already you found one.

Momma had a thing for the quite type, you decided.

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Bruce couldn't really bring himself to say anything. To see you in person finally after all the years, made something in him break and the pieces collide back together suddenly. He's seen still shots with the highest quality imaging. Videos and audios with the best equipment money could by or he could create.

But, there was something different about watching you breath and blink in real life. No need to rewind and watch the footage again. To pretended he was there in those moments. He had you here beside him now. His baby.

And, you were beautiful.

Just as beautiful to him as you were in the first image he'd received of you in that clear hospital nursery cradle. He stands by his previous thoughts. You had his mother's eyes. And, now grown you had even more of his mother's features, blended together with your own mother, of course. Something he strangely found himself grateful for. A small reminder that he had once held a softer woman once. Even if he ended up letting her go.

But, he was afraid. This was a different fear than when he was introduced to Damian. Damian had been a surprised, not entirely un-welcomed. But, Bruce knew Damian was expecting Batman as his father. You were expecting Bruce Wayne. And, Bruce Wayne as a father didn't exist.

The media may say otherwise, but it was an act. And, he couldn't give you an act. He wouldn't. He wasn't going to lie to you. But, he needed you to be safe. Especially now. Especially when you had such sad eyes and a frown like his own on your face from a loss he deeply understood, but couldn't help you with. Not in the way you needed. Your hands were far to delicate for justice.

He'd already made plans to track down the driver that knocked Adeline and her husband into the bayou as you called it. He could see the way you shudder and how your eyes would water each time your mother and step-father's drowning was mentioned. Something he desperately wanted to ask about. A fear he could sense that he so deeply wanted to understand.

Instead, he finally broke his silence after you both were halfway to Gotham.

"Don't worry about being introduced to everyone right away. I want you to take some time to get acclimated to the Manor. Settle in a bit and find a new routine." He finally said, hiding the rough raw emotions he was feeling from sheer will power.

"I appreciate it, sir." Hearing you drawl even though your voice was hoarse was something Bruce found himself taking a deep breath over. Letting it sink in.

"You don't have to call me 'sir'. I know you have manners and all that, but you can call me," Father, Dad - give him the title he desperately wants, "Bruce. If you'd prefer."

"Understood, sir-- I mean, Bruce." You trail off, awkwardly. The silence filling the air. The jet was clearly one of the fancier breeds, considering you couldn't even hear the engines and use them as white noise.

"Um, what's Gotham like?" You finally decided to ask. Crossing your ankles in and attempt to relax while your eyed drift towards him again.

His eyes strangely seem to light up at your question, though a frown tugs at his lips.

"It is, in short summary, dangerous. There a lot of crime in the city. You'll defiantly be staying in the manor after dark."

You try ignore how he's instantly ordering you around. Like your not seventeen. Like you didn't just leave a loving home where you were allowed to float on the breeze through the bayou's trees at whatever hour you pleased. Things were going to be different, and you'd accept that. For now.

"What's the manor like?" You decided to ask instead. Concluding it was a fairly safe question.

"Oh, I think you'll like it." Was all he said while smiling warmly.

Already you wanted to smack him. You wanted conversation, not to talk to a damn cryptic.

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You should’ve taken Bruce’s ambiguous nature at face value for what your life was about to become.

Quite.

You wouldn’t have minded too much, if it wasn’t for the fact that you were stuck inside Wayne Manor while Bruce got all the paperwork set up for your fancy new school and the fact that he wanted to ease you into things at a snails pace.

Though you wouldn’t forget about the overwhelming nature of the entire situation. Looking up at the veritable brick castle of multiple styles you’d seen throughout decades of different architectural trends. The only comment you had gotten from him when you asked about it was that it had been in the Wayne family for over a century while he smiled proudly. Like that single sentence was enough to fill the silence.

You didn’t like silence.

Even when you were alone, you liked to listen. To music, to the wind, to raindrops, to the cicadas and crickets chirping back home. Not hollow echoing silence.

What made it worse was that Bruce practically disappeared after he introduced you to the family butler. A kindly old man that already gave you a fond look as you toddled after like a helpless newborn duck still learning how to swim and trying not to drown. His smile growing even wider when you asked your polite questions about the history of the manor, wanting to feel some familiarity if you were going to be stuck in these dark wood paneled hallways with red carpets.

Apparently, the house castle was built in the Colonial period. Fascinating, when were the gargoyles added then? Keep talking, please. You didn’t want to deal with thoughts of your grief and loneliness.

It was up two flights of stairs that you really got hit with the reality of your situation.

You remember the soft greens and earthy tones your mother was fond off when decorating your childhood home. The white trim that caught the light from the windows. The light oak wood floor that somehow felt softer than the carpets here. Even in the shadowed corners the most dangerous thing you’d find was a dust bunny. Your own room filled with dusty blues and soft whites and greys like a cloudy sky.

Here, you were hit with RED.

So much red. Dark floral wallpaper, that you’d admit was gorgeous in its vividness. But, it almost overwhelmed you. Not even the cream colored sheets and curtains could make it any less underwhelming.

“This is the Madam’s Room. Primarily, it’s been used as a closet and dressing room by previous ladies of the house. An example being your late-grandmother. I’ve taken the liberty of having her portrait hung over the mantel with your great-grandmother also having her portrait in here as well.” You couldn’t even be upset by the hint of pride in the man’s voice. The room was beautiful, tastefully decorated. Charming. Sophisticated. Historical. A million different of fancy words. But, it wasn’t home.

“Thank you, Mr. Pennyworth, sir.” You murmured looking around the room while giving him your best attempt at a smile.

Your eyes catching the aforementioned portrait over the fireplace. The breath in your chest catching. Everyone always said you looked like Momma just with different eyes and a few other little things. They didn’t feel so little now. You looked too much like the woman in the portrait. Way too much like her.

“My own room is right across the hall in case you need anything else, my dear. Please, do not hesitate to ask. And, most importantly, you are more than welcome to call me Alfred.” You snap out of your thoughts and let your manners take over, smiling politely and nodding along.

“Thank you, Mr. Alfred, sir. I most appreciate it.” You hide behind a grateful tone that seems to make him look at you with an even fonder expression.

“I’ll let you to get settled in then, my dear. Feel free to add your own touches and take it easy. Everyone else is out of the manor at the moment so don’t worry about having to entertain any questions for the time being.”

God, you’d rather answer the most invasive questions in existence than be alone right now in such an unfamiliar place. But, you smile anyway.

“Thank you, again. I really do appreciate it, sir.” Are your finally words before your left alone and the thoughts creep in.

It isn’t until you’re unpacking a few of the little things you grabbed from your room and the clothes that don’t even begin to fill the closet that it hits you. Your little happy lightning cloud pillow looking like a children’s toy on the pillows. It technically is one, but seeing it makes you realize you don’t really feel like a child anymore. Though you still cling to it as you cry softly.

You don’t bother causing it to rain.

Instead, it’s noted by those on patrol, how that particular Gotham night is unusually warm.

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Alfred felt unfortunately blessed. Bruce wanted to ease the poor child into life in Gotham, but just from how overwhelmed they were he could tell it was not going to be like any of them expected things to go.

But, it was nice. Pleasant to have someone that just wanted to lightly talk without the long history of patching up their skin and mending their bones to contact them. He would admit he thought often of Martha.

Alfred could easily conclude he was growing sentimental. But, he excused that. It was common at his age. Instead he just enjoyed your company while Bruce had the rest of the family hold back their introductions.

Though really. Bruce’s antics were a little less amusing this time around. Waiting until you were in the house and settled into bed before abruptly calling a family meeting to announce your presence? He doesn’t blame the others for being outraged. They should have at least been informed before you arrived. Though, he supposed it was for the best. It would have to do now, regardless.

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“Alright, B-man. What’s this about? No one’s escaped Arkham, and I have Alfred’s birthday marked on my phone’s calendar. So this better be important.” Jason had sat back in one of the caves chairs, possibly Tim’s judging from how he kept giving him a dirty look for creating his feet near some tech junk on the metal counter in front of him.

“What about the rest of our birthday’s?” Steph had to ask, grinning at him from her own perch next to weapons rack.

“Not as important.” Jason dismissed with a wave of his hand causing her to snicker. Duke also chuckled from his own seat, before sat more at attention. Or, at least as much as he could considering he was just about to head out on patrol.

"Didn't include your own birthday in that?" Dick quipped back, stretching the tension from his shoulders after the drive from Bludhaven. He had also picked up Barbara on the way which had added extra time. She had her chair rolled up to one of the tables where Cass was sitting cross legged on.

Only Cass wasn't in a joking mood, she was to busy observing Bruce. Noting the flickers of multiple contradictory emotions in him. Damian's eyes drifted towards her from where he stood at attention. Already suspicion brewing in his gaze at what she could possibly be reading from the family's patriarch.

“Does this have anything to do with that guest your brought to the manor?” Barbara eventually asked, catching everyone’s attention before their heads swiveled to Bruce. A guest meant they had to be careful in the manor, or at least above ground. Below it things were clear to run like normal.

“Great.” Stephanie said dryly, “How long are we going to be running like this?”

“A while.” Bruce finally answered after a moment. For once feeling out of his depth to explain this. As Alfred walking into the cave, he knew it was time.

“I believe they’re asleep now. The poor dear seemed exhausted.” The older man said while taking a seat himself, his eyes solemn and soft.

In a room of raised detectives they caught the look and the way Bruce was acting.

“Really, Father? Another stray? Thomas was bad enough don’t you.” Damian comments with little heat behind his words while Duke gives him a look of mock outrage.

“This one isn’t a stray.” Bruce admits, knowing that Damian was about to take this the hardest.

“You flew to Louisiana for them. A bit far for your usual route?” Barbara questions already rolling away from the table and towards him.

“Did you finally sign up for one of those adoption websites and get an alert?” Jason scoffed a bit.

“No. They aren’t adopted. They’re my biological child. Officially.” He finally announced, wanting to get the worst of it out of the way.

That seemed to stun everyone for a moment. However, Dick was the first to recover. Catching how serious Bruce was being. “Bruce, is this another Damian?”

Damian bristled at the question, but knew Dick didn’t mean anything harmful by it. However his breath did catch when it was Alfred that answered.

“No, Master Bruce was informed of their birth and subsequently had a DNA test done years previous.”

That made everyone’s heads spin. But, not as much as Damian’s.

“You knew about them and, you never told me?” He had meant to say ‘us’, but this was different. This was a blood matter. And, while he knew blood didn’t truly matter to make a family, it did forge a connection between people willing or unwillingly.

“Hold on, is this from the worst of your playboy days?” Barbara asked, trying to wrap her head around it.

“Yes. But, it was a particular woman. None of you meat her, except Jason.”

Heads and eyes and ears turned to him instead, watching for his reaction.

“Don’t look at me, he went through like fifteen women—“

“It was Adeline.”

Oh.

Jason remembered her. Hell, he had actually liked her. She lasted about three weeks longer than all the others. And, she was softer, warmer, with a drawl that he sometimes imagined reading to him. She hadn’t tried to be motherly to him, but it was clear to him she could’ve been. She could’ve been a lot of things.

But, Bruce had thought her too sweet and too good. And, had let her go. Jason had been sad about it. But, not distraught. It really was for the best, he'd thought. She had been to good for Bruce.

However, if he knew one thing, her kid probably had the best childhood in existence. And, away from Bruce to boot.

“The Cajun and Creole southern belle.” Was all he commented, drawing a few raised brows.

“With a bit more... spice than we anticipated. She had won full custody of their child while Bruce had been on a league mission.” Alfred added to the subject. Making Tim whistle a bit.

“Oh, damn. Those lawyers must have been good.” Was all he could find himself adding to the tense conversation.

“So, they’re… normal?” Was Stephanie next inquiry. Already feeling that spark of jealousy in her chest. A normal childhood only to end up with Bruce as your surprise dad? Talk about winning the genetic lottery.

“Yes. They’re ‘normal’. I don’t want them involved with any of our night work. Everyone is to keep it under wraps.”

“Until?”

“There is no until. Keep it under wraps.”

It was then everyone realized, Bruce was willing to throw away their entire routines and make their jobs more stressful just for this person. A person he saw fit not to trust any of them with. A person he was prioritizing over them, and possibly over the mission.

And, that pissed off more than a few of them.

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A/N: Sooooo, what we think? Improvement, I hope? Don't worry, the neglected bits are coming and Yandere bs going to begin. I'm just tightening things up a bit.

A/N: Here's my Ko-Fi link. (My husband encouraged me to make it for diet coke, my weakness.)

[clare-875]

Doubt (Zoro x Reader)

_____ Pairing: Zoro x Female Reader Summary: An offhanded comment makes you insecure, but Zoro is there to reassure you in his own way. Warnings: Angst to Fluff, Ussop's unintentionally mean in the beginning? [One Piece Masterlist] ______

It was a passing comment; one you knew you shouldn't look into, one that meant no harm. But the words hit you harder than you thought it would. You had been talking rapidly about your adventures from the last island you and your crew had visited. There, you had all fought enemies, saved new friends and eaten together; the same old. Luffy, Chopper and Usopp had been listening eagerly matching your grin with keen interest in your tale as the crew had once again been split up on your journey. You spoke of the obscure things you saw on your side of the adventure, the enemies you faced and how they compared to those your crew had fought, the new fighting methods you had mastered, the people you met; everything. You hear Luffy's laugh brimmed with light humour as Chopper's eyes gleamed when you spoke of how you dealt the finishing blow on your opponent. You probably should've noticed how long you had been talking and exclaiming but you were lost in your glee, so much so that you didn't realise until Usopp spoke out with a teasing grin.

"Damn [y/n], you can sure talk a lot." You stop your story short at his teasing words meeting his mischievous gaze with a roll of your eyes. "And what's that supposed to mean?" Chopper nods eyes determinedly looking to Usopp as Luffy starts to doze off once his initial interest has passed. "Yeah, I wanna hear [y/n] tell their story!" Chopper exclaims from beside you as you smile at his excited and adorable form. Usopp sweatdrops at the sudden ridicule aimed at him and tries to backtrack on his words, only to make things worse. "I didn't mean anything bad about it- I just mean like you're so talkative and outspoken- and you know Zoro's-" Your eyes turn to him in surprise as he mentions your boyfriend. "Zoro?" You ask as you raise your brow. What has he got to do with this? "Yeah well, Zoro's so reserved and nonchalant, I just guess it surprised me that you got together- I mean, Zoro doesn't seem like one to tolerate people that- I mean, that came out wrong-" You can't help but frown at his words as he continues to ramble and you listen to what he implies. Was that really what Usopp thought; was it what the crew thought? That you were "too much", that Zoro was just tolerating you?

"I just meant-" Usopp starts to panic now as he sees the fall of your features at his misplaced words, making it seem that you were a burden, but Sanji's voice rings through to cut him off before he can try to redeem himself. "[y/n]-san~ dinner's ready!" You turn to see the love-lost cook burst out from within the kitchen now looking down to you from where you sat on the deck of the ship. His facade quickly falls however as his eyes sharpen towards the men that surround you. "Oi, Usopp, Chopper, wake Luffy and hurry or there'll be none for you!" You turn to your friends as Sanji whizzes away in search of the other female members of the crew. You give Chopper and Usopp a smile despite them seeing how it didn't gleam as it usually did. "Come on, let's go. Hey Luffy!" You then nudge your Captain purposefully as he sits up in confusion. "[y-y/n]?" You sigh at his drowsy state but go towards the kitchen. "Dinner!" You say, and the three all promptly follow to the dining room.

When you sit down at the dining table, you would have thought you'd forget the brief inclinations of Usopp's words just moments earlier, but you didn't. It suddenly made you self-conscious, made you think so deeply into the conversation you had, despite you knowing better; it was just Usopp taking things too far as usual. But then it made you think about all the interactions you had with your boyfriend. You remember all the instances you would speak animatedly about your day, talking while he trained or lay around the ship. Was it annoying to him? You think of his reaction, he didn't seem too fazed when you did. But he never seemed invested either, merely a nod of his head or an odd grunt of acknowledgement. Then, your thoughts go deeper. You think of the instances you would seek him out, you think of every time you showered him with affection behind closed doors, thought of every brush of your hand against his and every move you made.

Was it too much? Was I too much?

Tolerating; is that the word you would use to describe Zoro's demeanour to you? But the more you thought the more you saw how you were the one seeking him out the most, the one talking the most, the one giving affection the most. And the more you thought the more you realised you never took the time to see if Zoro actually enjoyed it; your constant want to be in his presence. You knew you were being stupid. You knew that there were more than enough ways that Zoro showed his love to you in return. You would hear his murmured words, notice small actions, would see affection deep within his eyes. After all, Zoro was nothing if not confident; he would never agree to a relationship unless he truly wanted it; unless he truly adored you. Yet you let the small comments churn within you, buried insecurity rising as you notice your differences. You feel dread next. He wouldn't leave you for it, would he?

You are so lost in your thoughts you don't notice said man walking into the dining room, skin slick with the efforts of his afternoon workout as he makes a beeline for his spot; his spot next to you. Zoro sees you absentmindedly sitting in your seat and nudges you causing you to realise that he is now present. You smile at him then, "Hey Zoro," you grin but Zoro sees slight hesitance in your eyes and your lack of prying words or subtle affection. He nods but decides not to question it as Sanji then puts out the dinner for everyone to share and soon everyone around you is lost to the prospect of food. As you go for your share watching as crew members devour Sanji's new creation you find yourself timid as you look around you. Your friends are shouting and talking and eating joyously, and though you would often be the centre of the overly animated show of dinner, you suddenly feel so drained from your thoughts; almost sad. There is a gnawing feeling of vulnerability in your chest pulled open by the words shared earlier, but you can't help but feel like you're overreacting.

"Oi, are you okay?" You turn in surprise at Zoro's passive words as he goes for another cup of sake sharp eye trained on you. He had noticed how you hadn't filled the air with your vibrant words, talking about all that had happened in the short time you had left him to his workout. He noticed how you, usually up and shouting with the crew as they did now, sat rooted to your spot just eating. He noticed how your eyes didn't shine with the usual mirth they usually did. Sure, he wasn't one to be as talkative as you, or openly share his affections as you did, but it was one of his favourite things about you. Being able to just listen to your joyous voice, feel your love in so many ways, and have you by his side; the one he would protect till the end of time. You, surprised to see that he had actually taken the liberty to notice feel your heart constrict at his care but shake your head nonetheless. "I'm fine."

Only, maybe you weren't.

When evening came, you merely kissed the corner of his face before turning to your side of the bed. No long nightly rants, no excitable or adoring words, no cuddling like you usually begged. Zoro shook off his concern however, thinking you just needed a moment like he sometimes did. That night he slept horribly without you in his arms. When morning came and you awoke to his absence as he left for his early morning workout, you didn't seek him out as you usually did. That morning, Zoro found it strange when you didn't grace him with your lively presence as you usually did. The teasing words as you watched him work, the abundance of plans you shared for the day, your sweet pout as you asked for his attention. Yes, he would merely blush fiercely or nod passively or roll his eyes but the chime of your laughter as he did made his heart warm. The lack of you left the empty spot in the crow's nest cold where you usually sat. These happenings became the entire day, which followed into the week, and despite Zoro putting off his concern earlier, now he was confused and annoyed.

Had he done something wrong?

On your end, you were merely trying your best. You tried to limit your conversations with him, the touch of your hand to his, the engulfing of his form, the kissing of his face. And it honestly hurt. You felt so urgently the need to be by his side, you craved him and yet each time you tried to push away your insecurity, it ate up at you and you hesitated. Was I too much? Would he be annoyed? Would he leave? Was I a burden? So, you didn't. For a week you tried, but you could feel yourself breaking. Currently, you were sitting at the dining room table as Sanji was prepping for the day's lunch. You let out a deep sigh full of sadness, and Sanji, with that woman-radar of his, turned at your blatant dismay. Many of the in-tune members of the crew had noticed the lack of vibrancy in your figure and the much more irritable form of Zoro. "What's wrong [y/n]-san?" You look up to see the blond-haired man looking at you with an unusual seriousness in his eyes; concern. You have seen that a lot this week.

"Nothing's wrong Sanji," you say with a tired smile. But Sanji frowns at you, seeing clearly through your words. "It's that damn Marimo isn't it?" You look up surprised to see that Sanji now has raging anger consuming him. There is literally fire in his eyes as he turns to the door readying to go beat up your boyfriend. "Damn, moss-head thinks he can take poor [y/n]-san's heart away from me and then break it so carelessly, I'll show him what-" You quickly get up stopping Sanji and hoping to prevent a seemingly unlawful murder. "Wait! Sanji it's not him!" Sanji sobers quickly at the gentle touch of your hand on his shoulder holding him back as he turns to you in surprise. He then frowns and surprises you when he looks at you with confusion, "Then what-" He is quickly cut off by the slam of the door as an angry-looking swordsman quickly enters the fray. His sharp eyes travel from your hand to where it still clutched Sanji's shoulder, then to your frozen gaze and then to Sanji's.

"Damn cook! Get your filthy hands off my girlfriend!" Sanji's eyes blaze instantly at that and before you know it the two are fighting like deranged idiots. You observe the suddenly escalated scene in surprise hearing insults thrown left to right and the flurry of limbs as they try to take a chunk out of each other. You then, laugh. It fills you slightly and then it hits you fully. How much you missed Zoro, how much you missed the normalcy even if it was just watching two overpowered idiots fight as they usually did. Zoro turns at the melodic sound of your laughter pausing in his fight as Sanji's eyes turn to hearts at the sound. It had been so long since he heard it; since he saw you as you usually were. A warm hand encapsulates your arm and you look up to see that it is Zoro, now taking you from the kitchen in silence much to the dismay of Sanji.

When the two of you reach your shared room, he turns to you, form tense once again as he forces his words to you. "Okay [y/n], what's actually wrong? You've been avoiding me all week. You haven't come once to the crow's nest. You haven't done the usual shit you do.-" You look up at your boyfriend's unusually frustrated form listening off the things you haven't done that week and you feel your heart brim at his concern. You feel stupid. "I'm sorry." You cut him off as he turns to you, and you look up to him hesitantly. "I- I just thought you know, it might've been annoying to you?" You advert your eyes when his eyebrows raise in surprise. "I'm just so used to sharing everything, and I sometimes get carried away, I just thought- what if-?" You stop yourself as a familiar tugging your heart weighs you down. You hear a deep sigh. "[y/n], is this what this week has been all about?" You nod as you trace the floor with your eyes. "I just didn't want you to leave me."

You feel it then, the strong embrace of your boyfriend's arms, toned with his training and warm against your form. He sighs once again at your words as he rolls his eyes despite you not seeing. "You're an idiot you know that?" You laugh slightly against his chest as you relish the feeling of him after what felt like so long. Zoro doesn't know how to comfort; it was out of his capabilities but you felt it within his arms. His reassurance, his love and the fact that he had missed you too. Suddenly you are overcome with emotion at the fact that you let such small insecurity cause you to waste so much time with the man you adored. "M'sorry, it's just Usopp was saying and I-" Zoro tenses at your words releasing you as he stares into the depths of your eyes. "Usopp?" You freeze then, realising your mistake as you see his signature murderous aura extend from his form. "W-wait Zoro." But he has flown through the door quicker than you can force him to stay and you hear the darkly uttered words at the crew's sniper.

"Usopp, so this was all your fault huh?"

"W-wait [y/n]- tell him I didn't mean it, I'm sorry-"

You watch as he tries to evade your boyfriend's wrath but he merely sees the reason you have been sulking all week; why he had suffered the whole week. You just laugh at the comical sight, free of your doubt and reminded that despite your differences the both of you would be just fine.

[cherriegyuu]

whispers of desire | c.sc | part two

pairing: incubus seungcheol x f!reader  genre: smut, angst, fluff - minors do not interact word count: 5k summary:when you cut a deal with the demon king, the man who shows up to help is nothing like you imagined warnings: mentions of god, demons and religion, infertility, infidelity, buying a child, surrogacy, dirty talking ish, begging, multiple orgarms, unprotected sex, piv, face sitting, fingering... i'm probably forgetting something... idk a/n: it would mean the world to me if you comment your thoughts and reblog this fic. thank you so much for reading. hope you enjoy it!

chapters: one | two ->

“You know, there's something I can't quite understand about you.” 

You let out a screech at the same time as you took two steps closer to the street. Your heart was hammering inside your chest so hard that you could feel it in your ears. Your clear distress was enough to pull an honest laugh out of the man by your side. 

“Jesus, what the fuck?” 

Seungcheol lightly wrapped his arm around your shoulder, further pulling you into the sidewalk when a car passing by honked. 

“You should not use the Lord's name in vain,” Seungcheol laughed again, looking at the sky apologetically, a smile playing on his lips. Something told you that he was not actually apologetic. 

Long gone was the purple suit, not that you had a lot of chances to see him in it. In its place, he wore oversized jeans and a black t-shirt. 

“What do you want?” you stepped out of his embrace, though it was hard to escape on the crowded and narrow sidewalk. 

Unlike the first time, when you woke up that morning, Seungcheol was long gone and there was no real trace of him in your apartment, in your room. It was as if the place had been entirely cleaned while you were asleep and nothing had ever happened. Your pajamas had been neatly folded, and the chair on the side was in the correct place. 

It seemed final, somehow. As if you’d never see him again. Which, you supposed, was likely the protocol in those cases. He had done what he was supposed to do, what you needed him to do. So, truly, it was naive on your part to ever think that there was going to be more than that. 

And by more, you had no idea what that meant. 

“Nothing, actually. I just happened to have some free time.” 

“Shouldn't you be out there getting someone else pregnant? I thought that's what incubi do.” 

God, was it jealousy that you picked up in your own voice? Were you going down that path? It wasn’t enough to make a deal with a demon; you also had to go ahead and have sex with one, and then whatever the fuck that was. You truly had lost your mind in every way possible. 

There had always been a very clear line between sanity and insanity, at least to you. It was probably safe to say that you had crossed that line in the most stupid way possible. Because why would you go ahead and be jealous of a demon, of someone—or something—that had a clear job, and once said job was finished, you’d never see him again? 

“Most people ask for money, power, fame. Getting pregnant isn’t even on the top 10 wishes.” 

“Hm,” was all you had to offer. 

“So, my question for you: Why not just get married again and then try for adoption… again?” This time, as he said the word again twice, his apologetic look seemed honest. 

Why was he following you? You could either make a run for it, though you were certain that he would catch up to you in no time, or just endure it until you reached the subway station. He wouldn’t want to be in it during rush hours. Right? 

“I felt like I was running out of time,” was your honest answer. 

“What about surrogacy?” 

Seungcheol joined his hands behind his back, his eyes solely on you. He didn’t try to step away from the people; he didn't even flinch when a man bumped into his shoulder and cursed him out. He smiled lightly when a yelp came from behind you and soon enough the man was on the ground, gripping his ankle. Seungcheol merely raised his shoulders, a look of innocent mischief on his face. 

“Got scared.” 

It was a thought that occurred to you so many times, one you had talked about with Joshua and one you almost went through with. You had done everything right from the start: you had someone willing to be your surrogate, a lawyer, a doctor for the insemination, an ob-gyn for the follow-up pregnancy.

Everything was lined up to perfection, and you were excited, happy even. You felt as if things were finally going your way, that finally you were going to be okay. 

But, of course, something had to go wrong. A day before you were supposed to meet, your surrogate simply disappeared. You got a text saying that she was sorry and that she couldn’t go through with it. It was a long text of apology, but it didn’t matter that much. You were once again at the starting line; this time, however, you didn’t have it in you to start the race all over again. 

“But not scared enough to take a deal from the demon king himself,” he pushed his lips into a pout, and for whatever reason, you felt your cheeks warm at the sight. “Weird thing to be scared of, but you do you, I suppose.” 

It was something that was on your mind the entire time: how you had gotten into something so out of character for you, something you had been warned about your entire childhood and adolescence. You had always taken your grandma’s words as the beliefs of a religious person, or something she heard from her mother, who heard it from her mother, and so on. 

It never once crossed your mind that any of it might be true. And yet, somehow, you were the one walking side by side—and sleeping—with a demon. 

“What about buying a child?” 

The mischievous gleam in his eyes gave away that he was joking, and you couldn’t hold back your smile. 

“Hm… I don't know, maybe because it's a crime?” 

Although your face was one of disapproval, Seungcheol knew that you were enjoying the banter, much more than you’d ever let on. It was what he wanted. You were always too serious, too focused on what you had to do, where you wanted to go, to just enjoy a little bit of the present. 

“At least you'd be getting a child no one wants,” he pointed out, as if it was an obvious conclusion. 

“Then I'd get arrested before the child turned twelve,” it was your turn to point out an obvious conclusion. 

“You're no fun,” he pouted again. 

The urge to pinch his cheeks was almost too strong to bear, to the point where you had to stuff your hands in the back pockets of your jeans to keep yourself from doing so. 

“Sorry, Mister Demon, there are rules for some of us.” 

“Seungcheol, no, it’s too much.” 

You tried to pull away from him, but he held you in place, his eyes somehow darkening, pleased with himself. Instead of letting you go, he quickened his movements—his fingers going faster, his tongue ruthless over your clit. 

Your grip on the headboard tightened, your hips moving at the same pace as his fingers. You felt the knot in your stomach grow tighter and tighter. 

Seungcheol wrapped his arm around your hips just as you let go of the headboard and gripped his hair, holding him even closer to your cunt despite your protests moments before. 

The sound he made at the back of his throat—guttural and pleased—the way his eyes narrowed and bored into yours with need and command, a silent order echoing through your mind despite his lack of words, made the knot in your stomach tear apart. 

A scream left your lips, your entire body shaking desperately. The orgasm rippled through you in waves, a huge one followed by smaller ones. Seungcheol seemed to know each wave, chasing them with his fingers and tongue until all that was left was your trembling body. 

Your grip on his hair loosened, and you slumped forward against the headboard, too spent to hold yourself up. 

Seungcheol licked your clit one final time, making your body shudder, before sliding his fingers out of you. He kissed the inside of your thigh lightly as he maneuvered you until you were lying on top of him. 

“You are the sexiest little thing.” 

He kissed up your neck, biting your skin before licking the sensitive spot. You had the distinct sense he was marking you, claiming something that wasn’t his. You didn’t have the heart to tell him to stop—not when you wished, just for a little while, that you were. 

“One more time,” you begged, your voice barely a whisper. 

“Needy too,” he laughed “Thought you couldn’t take it anymore” 

Your pussy hovered over his hard cock. Slowly, you rolled your hips, lazy and deliberate. Your cunt clenched around nothing, aching with need. 

“You said I need to cum two times—on your tongue and your dick.” 

You felt his laugh vibrate against your chest as you mimicked his earlier movements, biting his shoulder before sucking, leaving your mark on him. Then, you soothed the spot with your tongue. 

“You already have.” 

You lifted your head to look at him. His smile was knowing, cocky to the last second, laughter dancing in those mesmerizing eyes. 

Suddenly, those words surfaced in your mind—three small, heavy words that should never have formed, not about him, not so soon, and definitely not for someone like him. Yet there they were, screaming inside you. 

You kissed his chin, then his lips. 

“Wrong order,” you murmured, lifting your hips just enough to align his tip with your entrance. 

You tangled your fingers in his hair as you sank onto him, every inch stretching you deliciously. A moan escaped you both as you moved in sync, his gaze never leaving yours. Each lazy thrust of his hips met yours perfectly. 

“My sexy little thing,” he whispered against your lips. 

You liked working with your sister the most when she wasn’t planning a wedding, which almost never happened. Being a wedding planner didn’t give her an opportunity to do a whole lot of different events. But once in a blue moon, when someone begged the right way and offered the right amount of money, she accepted different kinds of events. 

Graduations were your favorite, mostly because those were filled with a different kind of hope. One that didn’t include someone else, one in which your happiness wasn’t directly connected to anyone else’s. It was the celebration of a chapter that finally reached its end. 

“Do you need help with anything?” you asked Luna. 

Your sister turned to you, her eyes narrow with tiredness. Jihoon, her husband, was the sole reason you were there to begin with. He had called and asked you to tag along, saying Luna was overwhelmed with work and was unwilling to accept help from anyone. 

When she first saw you, her first impulse was to kick you out, but you managed to convince her that your help was needed. There were more guests than anticipated, so there was a lot of reorganizing to do. 

“You’re a lifesaver, you know that?” She threw her arms around your shoulders, pulling you in for a tight hug. “I don’t know what I would do without you here.” 

You laughed as you hugged her back. 

“You can thank your husband for that. He called me.” 

Her dreamy eyes at the mention of Jihoon didn’t go unnoticed. It was sweet that after over 10 years together, she still looked like a teenager in love whenever someone brought him up. 

“You can take a break now, okay? Most of the guests have arrived.” 

You shook your head, pushing her shoulders back and forcing her to walk backward. 

“No, you take a break.” 

She seemed unsure, but at your unwavering stance, she finally caved. 

“Fine, but just twenty minutes.” 

“However long you need,” you assured her. 

You took her place next to the entrance. 

It was a good feeling, this weird happiness. Out of the two of you, you were always the dreamer—the one who wanted things that were borderline impossible, the one who wished for a love you knew would never really exist. But a dream was just that: a dream. You could wish for whatever you wanted; that was free and hardly caused you any trouble. 

You knew very well how to separate dreams and reality. 

“You look sinful in this dress,” came a sudden whisper in your ear. 

“Jesus, what the fuck!” You covered your mouth so your scream wouldn’t disturb the guests. 

Suddenly by your side was Seungcheol, in all his purple-suited glory. He’d only ever worn it those first couple of nights. Never again. It was a sight to behold. It didn’t match the place you were in—the purple almost cartoonish in the sea of black suits—but if anyone bothered to ask, you didn’t care. 

“I don’t understand this constant call for Jesus. I never took you for a religious person.” 

He leaned down to whisper in your ear again, but this time you pushed his face away, laughing a little when you felt his smile against your palm. 

“What are you doing here?” 

You pretended to busy yourself with the clipboard in your hands, as if it held unfinished tasks you couldn’t get to because he was in the way. Truthfully, you had nothing else to do. Everything was running smoothly. 

“Like you, I’m here for work,” he said, crossing his arms behind his back with a proud smile. 

“Oh.” 

The giddiness you’d felt when you first saw him died in your stomach, leaving it hollow. You hadn’t thought a single sentence could make you feel so miserable so quickly. 

You’d been having a great day, and suddenly it was gone—like the sun overshadowed by dark clouds. The worst part was that you’d always known those clouds lurked at the edges; you’d just chosen to ignore them. 

“Are you, perhaps, jealous?” His voice was teasing, the dimple you’d grown fond of appearing. 

You wished you could hate him, wished your mind worked as it usually did—how under normal circumstances, you’d never have accepted something like this. But nothing about Seungcheol was normal. There was no protocol for this. 

“Why would I be?” 

“You are.” He laughed, throwing his head back. “You totally are.” 

“Go get someone else pregnant, Seungcheol. Not that you’ve succeeded with me anyway.” 

You shrugged. It was the truth. Almost a month had passed since he first appeared, and you’d gotten your period as usual. All hopes of a baby were gone—at least for a few more weeks. 

“Oh, now you’re doubting my abilities.” He raised an eyebrow, a cocky smile playing on his lips. 

“Off you go,” you said, shooing him away. 

You couldn’t tear your eyes from him, even if you didn’t want to watch him approach someone else. But Seungcheol just wandered the room, his gaze resting on no one in particular. 

It was the first time you’d seen him in a crowd, and the first time you noticed how much attention he drew. Maybe it was the purple suit and red hair, but you suspected it had more to do with how he carried himself—like he owned the place, like everyone was there for him. 

He circled the room twice, not speaking to anyone, barely glancing at them. Then a child bumped into his legs. Seungcheol looked down, unfazed. Your heart clenched as he knelt to the boy’s level, smiling kindly as the child stared in awe. 

You forced yourself to look away, hating how it made you wish for things you couldn’t have. From the corner of your eye, you saw Seungcheol ruffle the boy’s hair and return to you. 

“That was quick.” 

Seungcheol leaned over the stand, taking the clipboard to ensure your full attention. There was something in his eyes—like he was silently telling you something you couldn’t yet decipher. He held your hand, his thumb circling your palm. 

“I came here as a reminder,” he said quietly, almost secretively but reassuringly. 

You didn’t want to read too much into it. 

“A reminder?” 

He glanced over his shoulder before meeting your eyes again. 

“You see that woman—the pregnant one? Not my doing, by the way.”  You discreetly scanned the crowd until you spotted her: a beautiful woman in a green flowy dress, her hands protectively cradling her belly as she stared at Seungcheol with wide, fearful eyes. 

“What about her?” you asked, already knowing the answer. 

“She cut a deal with Jeonghan.” 

“She’ll give her baby to him.” 

The thought was unfathomable. While you’d give anything for a child, others were willing to surrender theirs—one they hadn’t even met. 

“Her firstborn, yeah,” he admitted, his voice low. 

“What does he do with them? The kids he takes?” You focused on your joined hands, how small yours looked in his. 

“He raises us.” 

You stared at him. Us? He was one of Jeonghan’s taken children? You opened your mouth to ask more — but then a familiar face walked in, his ever-present smile in place. 

“Shit, shit, shit, fuck.” You ducked behind Seungcheol, hoping Joshua wouldn’t see you. 

Joshua stood at the entrance, a woman on his arm. He smiled kindly as she spoke. 

“What is it? Are you in pain?” Seungcheol straightened, his hands cradling your face, his eyes filled with concern. 

“My ex-husband just got here.” 

The tenderness in his eyes vanished, replaced by a slow-burning anger. His entire demeanor shifted. This wasn’t the playful, mischievous Seungcheol you knew—this was the demon he’d never let you see. 

“Which table is he at?” He snatched the clipboard from you. 

“Sixteen, far right,” you said, pointing to the empty table. 

“Okay.” He nodded. “Stay here.” 

Seungcheol approached Joshua and the woman, his smile tight.  You’d often wondered how it would feel to see Joshua again. Reality was nothing like you’d imagined. You didn’t hurt. You didn’t feel small. You’d hidden out of surprise, not fear. 

Seungcheol returned, his posture rigid. 

“Your ex is an asshole. Why’d you marry that?”

He tossed the clipboard onto the stand, scowling. 

“What?” 

“He was talking shit about your sister.” 

“Who was talking shit about your sister?” Jiah appeared beside you, grinning. 

“Jesus, what the fuck!” This time, you didn’t bother covering your mouth. 

Seungcheol raised an eyebrow, a smile tugging at his lips — the earlier tension gone. 

“You know Grandma would hand you your ass if she heard you talk like that, right?” 

A shrill laugh echoed through the room. Jiah side-eyed Seungcheol, amused but curious about his presence. Her gaze flicked between you and him, her smile knowing. 

“Hi, I’m Jiah.” She extended a hand to Seungcheol. “Who was talking shit about me?” 

Seungcheol seemed surprised to be acknowledged. He hesitated before shaking her hand. 

“Her ex. The shithead.” 

Jiah whirled to you, eyes wide. You waved her off. 

“Joshua is here?” 

“It’s fine.” 

She narrowed her eyes. After Joshua left, you’d been a wreck—barely leaving the house, avoiding even your sister. You’d felt broken. But now? Joshua was like sand: easy to brush off. 

“I’m taking my break now,” you said, walking away without looking back. You needed space from Joshua—and from Seungcheol, too.

The lines between you had blurred dangerously. 

You pushed into the bathroom and finally breathed. The quiet lasted a second before Seungcheol followed you in. 

“Were you really that shaken up seeing him?”

His voice had a new edge — one that sent fire skimming your skin. 

“What if I was?” You knew it was the wrong answer, knew it would provoke him, but you couldn’t help yourself. 

“How long has it been since your divorce?” He stepped closer, the room shrinking around you. 

“I suddenly can’t remember.” 

Seungcheol smiled slowly, dangerously. You heard the lock click. You were done for — and you weren’t sure you cared. 

It was confusing, your entire relationship with Seungcheol. He was always around yet at the same time he wasn't. Even when he was away, his presence lingered. It was like you could feel him everywhere. It wasn't just the sex—though you could never complain about that—it felt like he'd crawled under your skin, and when he wasn't there, you wanted him to be. 

You craved the late hours when you knew he'd come over, those quiet moments where he'd just sit on your couch, eyes closed, his hand absently massaging your thigh. It was like he was recharging. Then he'd open his eyes and start talking about things you could never follow without interrupting every few sentences. Once Seungcheol realized this, he started giving them names. 

"I had to chase after Benny today. The fucker's a shapeshifter. You know what that is, right?" You nodded, biting into another piece of the succulent steak he'd brought. "So you can imagine how hard it was to hunt down that son of a bitch." 

He was complaining, sure, but there was a proud tilt to his stance — like he'd done good work and wanted praise. That was something you'd learned quickly about Seungcheol: he loved being praised for the most ridiculous things. 

"How did you catch him?" 

"He's not smart. Loves strippers — has a favorite who happened to be working. Made it easy." 

You bit back a sudden wave of jealousy. You hated the idea of Seungcheol in places like that, around women like that. That was where the confusion set in. You knew you shouldn't feel this way about him. 

The real issue started when he came back after the first night. It should've been a one-time thing—he'd said so himself. Yet there he was in your bedroom the next night, and the night after, and every night since. 

"Can I ask you something?" you said during a lull. He nodded, curious at your serious tone. "That day at the wedding, you said Jeonghan raises the kids he takes. You said 'us.'" 

Seungcheol just smiled. It had taken you long enough to ask. He'd watched the gears turn in your head, trying to reconcile him being raised by the Demon King. 

"It's not some grand story," he assured. "My parents cut a deal with Jeonghan, and I was the price. Back then, Jeonghan didn't erase their memories, so they knew he'd take me at eighteen. That's why they weren't... great parents." 

He shrugged like it didn't affect him. It did, of course—Seungcheol was just good at pretending. Especially about his childhood before Jeonghan. 

It hadn't taken much convincing. "Where I'm taking you has warm beds and food so good you'll never want to stop eating," Jeonghan had said, snake eyes glinting. Maybe to drive home that he wasn't human. Still, ten-year-old Seungcheol took his hand and left without looking back, carrying only the clothes on his back and a teddy bear from his uncle. 

During the car ride, he'd imagined fire deserts and screaming souls—too many hell-themed video games. Reality was a pristine high-rise apartment. 

"This is where you'll live now," Jeonghan said, opening the door to a room that looked untouched. "Better than the shithole you slept in before." 

Seungcheol sat on the bed, small voice trembling. "Why?" 

"You were mine from birth. Your parents were just... babysitting." 

The next day, Seungcheol changed schools. No one questioned a mid-spring transfer. 

"We're demons, but I refuse to let us be stupid," Jeonghan said when he asked why school was mandatory. 

It took a year to adjust, but eventually, it became the only life he'd ever known. 

"So he raised you?" You frowned, unable to picture Jeonghan as anything parental.

"In his own way. He wasn't loving, but I never felt like a burden. Had everything I needed." 

For a second, Seungcheol looked lost in thought—and for the first time, you let yourself imagine him as a parent. You knew you'd be doing it alone, that your time with him was borrowed... but just for a moment, you indulged the fantasy. 

The image came easily: Seungcheol on the couch, humming softly, a swaddled baby in his arms. So vivid it hurt—like a desert mirage, real until it vanished. 

The thing about incubus is that they are very sudden beings, as well as lacking routine, according to Seungcheol. Suddenly you found yourself in this sort of arrangement with him, one that included him in your bed every single night. 

It started off slowly—him popping into your bedroom some nights while you were still awake, some when you were already asleep. On those nights, his actions would vary between two options: if it was late at night, well past 2 AM, he would just crawl into your bed in nothing but his boxers and hug you tightly during the night; if it was earlier than that, you’d wake up to his lips on your chin, your neck, your breast. 

Somehow, that turned into a small pile of his clothes on your dresser, which magically found its way into one of the drawers. A toothbrush appeared in your bathroom, and he had his own towel too. 

All of it was oddly ordinary, mundane, domestic. 

You’d sometimes wonder just where he was that he got back so late, but truthfully, you didn’t want to know. You knew who he was, what his role was. 

“If you’re going to be here every night and eat my food, you could make yourself useful, you know?” you teased him a little, pointing at the sink filled with dishes from the night before. 

It was an atypical night. Seungcheol had gotten back to your place before seven, while you were still making dinner. He had even knocked on the door, something new he had never done before. “You told me once that I should use the door, so I’m testing it out. It’s overrated, just so you know.” Somehow, a simple meal turned into a candlelit dinner, a bottle of wine turned into two, and the space you had clearly set between the two of you no longer seemed to exist. 

The dishes had been long forgotten, and for the first time in your life, you didn’t mind going to bed with the kitchen in disarray. And you didn’t freak out when you woke up to it. 

“I think I’m pretty useful,” he raised his eyebrow, and you had to bite your lip to keep yourself from smiling because you knew what was coming next. “If I’m not mistaken, I made you cum twice last night, and I could have done it again half an hour ago, but you were the one who didn’t want to.” 

Seungcheol wrapped his hands around your hips, pressing hard, his lips on your neck sucking, and you knew that by the time you walked into your office, there would be a hickey, dark and purple, on your skin. 

It took all of your willpower to pull away from him. 

“You’re distracting,” you grabbed his forgotten shirt from the couch and threw it at him. “And I’m late.” 

“You’ll still be late in an hour, so why hurry?” 

Seungcheol didn’t make a single move to put the shirt on; instead, he chose to cross his arms over his chest. Idiot was flexing. 

“Because then it would be even later,” you rose to your toes, pressing a quick kiss to his lips, quickly moving away before he had a chance to wrap you into his arms again—and this time, there was a high probability of you not trying to escape. “And if you really have a magic dick and managed to knock me up, I’m going to need my job.” 

“Again, you’re no fun at all,” his signature pout broke into a smile that you could swear made the butterflies in your stomach come to life. 

“Well, you didn’t complain last night.” 

The first time you truly considered having a child, you were twenty-two, fresh out of college. Your sister, though slightly younger than you, had just given birth. You were young and still didn’t have your life under control as you wanted, but the thought crossed your mind for the first time as something concrete, an achievable dream. Something that maybe, somewhere down the line, you’d be able to do. 

At the time, you were already with Joshua. Your relationship was nowhere near the commitment of marriage—it would only happen five years later—but he was someone you could picture yourself spending your life with. 

That life, that dream, however, fell short way too quickly. Your marriage didn’t have a long lifespan. The first couple of years were good, very storybook, daydream, fairytale-like. Until it wasn’t. One day it was perfect; the next, it was a multitude of negatives and bad news, one followed by the other, then another. On Monday, you were still a married woman; by Friday, Joshua was out of the house and asking for a divorce. 

And so, your loneliness began. It was like that until Seungcheol came around. He found a way to fill your life in ways you didn’t know it could be filled. He did it with such ease, like he was always meant to be right there. 

Seungcheol managed to make you believe, even if just for a short while, that there was nothing before. That all of it started with him. But just like Joshua, he too disappeared. Unlike Joshua, though, Seungcheol didn’t give you any signs that he might leave. He woke you up with soft, sweet kisses, clung to you the entire morning, up until you reached your work and he couldn’t physically join you. 

You waited for him that night. A sudden itch at the back of your throat, something telling you that something was wrong. The entire night was spent staring at the door, waiting for him to come. But he never did. The sun was already up when you forced yourself out of bed. There was no point in staying there if all you’d do was wonder if he was okay, if something bad had happened. You left for work and went back home. 

Like every day, you were greeted by an empty apartment. It felt colder than usual. You ran to your room, a sudden urgency taking over you. Gone was his hoodie, the one you’d slept in, usually folded on your bed. The drawer was empty too. Every trace of him had vanished, and you were alone. 

Again. 

if you enjoyed reading, please reblog and leave a comment, it really does mean the world to me and i would love to know your thoughts. thank you! 💕

you can read my other fics here ➝ masterlist

[hitomisuzuya]

Wanderer stumbling upon reader bathing in hot springs alone after an exposition and joins? (nsfw) but with breast praise/service

wanderer (scaramouche) x fem!reader. smut. nipple play. clitoral orgasm. praise.

to be honest, i wasn't sure what you meant by exposition 😅 forgive me.

there is just something about a quiet, open air bath in a hot spring. the peace to soak in the warm water alone with no one else around is unmatched. you hadn't counted on any intrusions, being as late as it was at night.

wanderer was trying to find a quiet tree to hang out in. he didn't know the true meaning of the word temptation until he saw you, standing naked in the hot spring, your back turned to him, letting water cascade down your body.

he knew he should've fucked off the moment he saw you, but he is frozen in place. his eyes drawn to the curve of your ass, the side peek of your breasts as you bent down to cup more water into your hand.

he considered just quietly going up into a nearby tree to watch you bathe unnoticed when you suddenly turned around. he'd been too distracted by the teasing curve of your hips.

clearly startled to see him, you immediately sank into the water to cover yourself, putting your arms over your chest. "oh my, you scared me. there usually is no one here at this time," you exclaimed, the flush on your cheeks wasn't caused by the warmth of the hot spring.

wanderer wore a similar one. "sounds like a you issue and not a me issue," he scoffs, crossing his arms. "i'll just turn around and walk back the way i came," he didn't want to. and he wouldn't. he knew the perfect tree to hide in so he could keep shamelessly staring at you.

you shook your head, looking away shyly. "you don't have to leave. you can come in if you want. this is a public hot spring," you cutely huddle further down into the water. "besides it's probably nothing you haven't seen before. the human body is a very natural thing, after all," you have a habit of talking a lot of when you are flustered.

you have always seen this boy wearing a glare that made your heart pound in ways you didn't even think were possible.

"oh yeah?" wanderer could tell you are fighting the urge not to look at him as he took off his clothes, "then why are you trying to hide it?" he teases as he gets into the hot spring.

"because it's more dignified that way. shut up," you bat some water at him with your hand.

"i gotta say, you are cute when you are shy and angry," it is so satisfying to him to see the blush on your cheeks darken as he settles into the water next to you.

for wanderer, time seemed to stand still for him. and he didn't quite notice when time returned to normal again, with you straddling his lap, your arms wrapped around his neck while he tongue devours your mouth.

water sloshes quietly around you as he adjusts you in his lap. your pussy had just brushed against his cock, filling him with the overwhelming need to feel tucked between your folds. "you know," he murmurs, pulling away to nip at your lower lip, "i always thought temptation was a very human word. until i saw you," he snatched your lips up in another deep, open mouthed kiss, swallowing a groan as his cock throbs against your pussy.

you tangle your fingers in his hair, opening your mouth for his tongue. you moan softly into his mouth as he grinds his cock on your pussy. seeking more friction, you move your in hips to meet him halfway. you shiver as his tongue glides against yours. "your lips are so soft," you marvel, a little dazed as he pulls away again.

grinding into his lap, you move your head down for another kiss. wanderer smirks as he scoffs softly, "pretty, needy thing, aren't you?" he puts a hand on your chin to stop you. the soft whine you let out at being stopped made his cock harder against your pussy.

"being up against you just so happens to feel good," wanderer can absolutely tell your blustering nonsense to cover up how shy you feel. you probably have never done anything bold like this before. it is genuinely adorable how easy it is to work you up.

his eyes travel to your tempting breasts. "i think i'll indulge myself," he cups your breast, skimming his thumb across your nipple, "you just keep moaning all pretty for me," the tip of his tongue flicks out across your nipple.

you sigh shakily, arching your back to bring your chest to his mouth. taking this as an invitation to do as he pleases, he swirls his tongue around your nipple. "so soft," he marvels, squeezing your breast before giving your nipple a gentle pinch.

he quickly scoops your nipple into his mouth. the way his tongue flicked against your sensitive, hardening nipple as he sucked felt like he was exploring the sensation of it on his tongue. the way your body shivers as he pinches your other nipple is intoxicating to him.

you whimper, seeking friction from his cock on your throbbing clit. "you sound as pretty as your body feels responding to me," keeping an arm braced around your back, he kept your chest anchored over his mouth as he moved to your other nipple.

he greedily wants more from you. you just sound too fucking sweet, whimpering touch starved with need for him. his hand lingers, groping on your breast before it drops into the water. he is eager to feel and hear how you would sound if his fingers were working your clit over.

you couldn't stop your moans as his fingers rub and pinch your clit. your thighs tremble as you grind into his fingers. "that's a good girl," he moans, wagging his finger across your clit, "let it all out."

wanderer's sucks are eager on your nipple. the more you twitch and tremble in his hands, the more he pursued you. his cock aches to feel you shake while you cum. he chuckles hearing you moan a little louder when he praises you.

"my pretty, pretty girl. i think i'll keep you," he swirls his tongue around and around your nipple, "a delicate pet all for me," he rolls your clit between the pads of his fingers.

overwhelmed by pleasure, your thighs tremble as he coaxes your orgasm into building up. the only thing you could do was helplessly moan while he experimented on your body, sussing out what made you moan the loudest.

"how obedient, practically cumming already for me," he purrs, increasing the pressure on your clit. it throbs underneath his fingers, fraying the knot of your orgasm apart suddenly. he drinks in the fucked out haze clouding your eyes, your body quaking in his hands from the intensity of your orgasm.

panting, your head drops down onto his shoulder. "wanna go home with you," you murmur softly, nuzzling your cheek against his neck as he rubs your clit through your orgasm.

wanderer has already made up his mind though. you weren't going to spend the night doing anything else but being impaled on his cock.

[mythalism]

You seem to be both a solavellan and mythal fan so maybe I won’t get shot for this question lol

Veilguard was my first game. I kept default settings, which meant solavellan world state.

I genuinely wonder: what makes people think Solas loves Lavellan? Or that if being with Mythal possible, he still would choose Lavellan?

He is so clearly not over Mythal. Last game is filled with references to their connection, she herself confirms that both still love each other. He is very protective of her while arguing with Elgarnan. Statues of them everywhere, him painting and playing songs about her, his very own room having statues of Mythal… In the end he discloses he does it all for her, refuses to stop after Lavellan’s appeals, and only does so after Mythal shows up.

In comparison, Solas describes what he had with Lavellan as “entanglement he selfishly grow close to” he both regrets and cherishes. Most of the romance is carried on Inquisitor’s shoulders, as she both explicitly tells what he means to her, reaches out to him and ultimately shares his burden of atonement.

I couldn’t understand why this ship was so popular, so I watched solavellan romance in DAI. And while it was beautifully done, having the context of Veilguard, I just keep seeing Mythal in every “we shouldn’t”/his face after balcony kiss/ultimately abandoning her in the end. It feels almost unfair and cruel for him to enter another relationship while his heart isn’t free. And to visit Lavellan’s dreams afterwards

What am I missing?

a lot of people would shoot you for this. but dont worry i am not one of them. be careful out there tho

i think the first thing i would say is that instead of watching a video, you would need to do play a full solavellan playthrough of the game if you do want to genuinely understand the relationship and why it is so beloved. im not sure which compilation you watched, but even one that includes all their conversations (rather than just the cutscenes, of which there are very few) cannot do the relationship justice. so much of understanding solas as a character and how he loves people, by extension, is wrapped up in how he reacts to the world at large, its people, its history, its institutions, and its metaphysics. assuming you're new to DA and wouldn't know this, solas's romance in inquisition is the shortest, most sparse romance in the game, and was added later in development. as a result, much of his essential characterization happens outside the bounds of romance content, but still adds deeper meaning, context, and depth to the relationship. even in terms of romance specific content, some of my favorite content occurs in banter that probably was not included in the video you watched. the solas romance is less a standalone love story, in the way many of the romances are, and more of a big juicy delicious cherry on top that helps you better understand the overall dragon age solas plot/cake you're eating.

theres a couple non-romance specific scenes that shed significant light on solas & mythal's dynamic from his perspective that i am not sure if you have seen and honestly i wouldnt recommend watching them because, again, i think you should just play inquisition and experience them in the proper context. but solas's companion personal quest is directly about his corruption at the hands of mythal, though we didn't know that until veilguard came out and contextualized it. and this quest pretty explicitly demonstrates how he feels about what she did to him: rage, beyond forgiveness, deserving of death. he also comments on her at the temple of mythal, and his comments are mostly neutral but verging on judgemental, and do illuminate that while he may have loved her, he certainly did not trust her. it is he who first clarifies that she was a goddess of vengeance, rather than justice. which i cant think about too long or else i'll get angry that they ret-conned it to benevolence -> retribution or whatever the fuck and erased the anders/justice/vengeance parallel... anyway

but i think more telling is his absolute refusal to drink from the well if asked, and most telling; how he fears for an inquisitor who drank.

he specifically calls mythal dangerous, arrogant, and fickle, absolutely refuses to submit to her will once again via the drinking of the well, and begs an inquisitor he loves not to do the same lest she suffer the same fate. he loves mythal, of course, but he also fears her. he is critical of her behavior and wary of her motivations. his love for her exists alongside his recognition of what she was.

another fairly vital bit of information is how according to trespasser (cole banter), solas used to wear mythal vallaslin until he burnt it off his own face when he developed his vallaslin removal spell. its how he got the little scar above his eyebrow. meaning, if vallaslin were slave markings, that solas was effectively enslaved to her. this is... pretty important context, obviously. but we never find out what it might have been like for him. veilguard.... didnt forget but rather deliberately ignored this because it wasnt willing to interrogate the issue of slavery which had been vital to solas as the leader of a slave rebellion. ugh. anyway.

this leads into my next point which is that veilguard really drastically changes solas's motivations to be far more mythal-centric than what was set up in inquisition/trespasser. we always knew something was up with them, and people always wondered if they might have been lovers, but veilguard goes in on this idea in a way that many people would actually call out-of-character compared to how he behaves in inquisition. veilguard itself though does present their relationship as rather complex though, in my opinion its one of the best parts of the game. the two moments that i chew on most frequently are the letter from felassan in mythal's weird little dragon pit that reveals how he made that island for her but locked it away when she was killed. and my ultimate fave is how she reveals that in the literal thousands of years she has been sitting there alone since her murder, many of which he was alive and fighting a rebellion partly in her name, and in the 12 years since he woke up from uthenera, he never went to visit her. not once. its giving jane eyre and i fucking love it. in this same conversation, she also says that when he killed flemeth, he wept. this, i think, is the crux of how he feels about her. he can barely look at her. he resents her. he will use her like he did anyone else. he loves her. he feels lost without her. he will never forgive her. he misses her. all of these things are true at once, and mythal seems to feel similarly; she loathes him. she understands him better than anyone. she resents him for betraying her and abandoning her. she calls him a pathetic little crybaby pussy ass bitch. she loves him.

i dont think anything you said in your message is necessarily wrong. i do think he loves mythal still. i think he always will. i think mythal is valid when she says that they have a bond that no one will ever understand. i agree he is protective over her. i also interpret their relationship as romantic though a lot of people do not. i just love drama. but i think you are misinterpreting his reluctance to be with lavellan as coming from his attachment to mythal as a person, rather than his attachment to his duty to what mythal represents - the world he ruined, everything he's ever done wrong. to say that solas would actually consciously choose mythal over lavellan if they were the final two contestants on the bachelorette is honestly, absurd. sorry. because actually he would choose neither, he would dramatically let the rose fall to the ground and run off to restore the elven people while chris hansen (felassan) dramatically runs after him. both women are secondary to him when it comes to the good of the entire world, and fixing what he broke. he has had plenty of moments to choose mythal and run away with her if he wanted. he has literally had her bertha-ing out in his crossroads attic for 10 years. he also literally does kill her via flemeth. which isnt to say that he wouldn't kill lavellan if forced to, i think he would. but the point here is that its not mythal vs. lavellan. its mythal vs. the world, and lavellan vs. the world. he should have chosen the world over mythal. he didnt. he created the blight instead. he destroyed everything. he cannot make the same mistake again, so he will choose the world every. single. time.

regardless, every time solas turns away from lavellan in the romance, he is not thinking "i wish you were her". he is thinking "if i do this to you, i have become her". prioritizing his own desires over the good of the world, stringing her along, using her as a tool to do his bidding (getting the orb back), are all things mythal did to him. he told her he would follow her anywhere. and when he begins to realize that lavellan would follow him anywhere (as she says in veilguard), he freaks out and has to end it. he knows he will have to continue to kill and cause destruction to bring his world back, so if he did allow her to join him in walking the dinan'shiral, or did anything other than break her heart and leave her, he would be corrupting her the way mythal corrupted him; a weapon to achieve his goal. but he refuses. in his mind, he already destroyed the world for love once; at mythal's behest. if he abandons the world for lavellan, he is destroying the world for love again, and making her an accomplice. so, every time he leaves her it is an act of love.

the way the inquisitor is the driving force of their romance is partly just... gameplay lol but its also consistent with the overarching theme of consent in a relationship that is fundamentally unethical and unequal. lavellan has to be the initiator or else solas becomes a predator. some would say he is anyway lol, but its clear much of the writing was designed to avoid this with the way he is constantly denying himself, backing away, trying not to give in. it might have been juicy, but for him to knowingly romantically and sexually pursue a young woman 10,000 years younger while lying to her about his identity and using her for his plans would make him an entirely different character. a character that would be a hit on romantasy booktok, but not solas. consent and ethics are so central to not only the relationship thematically, but to solas himself, and some of that is because of mythal and the inequality of their own past dynamic. solas is so passive in the romance not because he doesnt like this weird clingy bitch who wont leave him alone, but because he does not want to recreate the same dynamic that corrupted him into pride and uhhhh literally destroyed the world. i'll leave you with another essential quote that you may not have encountered yet:

Cole: It isn’t abuse if I ask! Solas: Not always true.

in trespasser, solas's duty to bring down the veil was more unambiguously to the elven people and the alleviation of his own crushing guilt, while mythal was collateral damage in his way and he used her like he would use anyone else (including lavellan loool) as a tool to achieve his goals. we see this when he kills flemeth and takes mythal's power. in veilguard they had to obscure this slightly to make him "less sympathetic", to use the devs own words. and they did this by shifting the crux of his motivations to mythal. i dont think his lap dog devotion is out of character, i adore it, but i hate that it came at the expense of his more complex and sympathetic motivations of saving the elven people and spirits from the damage of the veil. as a result, when looking at his behavior in the context of inquisition + trespasser + veilguard, i interpret it as mythal being symbolic of the destruction of the world at his hands. and not to toot my own horn but trick's interpretation that they shared on bluesky does support this, when they said that to solas, mythal represents the past and lavellan represents the future. ive written about his statement that it was all for mythal, and the tldr is that i think it is also supposed to be interpreted as symbolic and reflective of his psyche. but even if he did do it all for her, i dont think that necessarily negates his relationship with lavellan. he needs mythal to break the cognitive dissonance, alleviate his guilt, and release him, because she is the source of all of those things in the first place. lavellan could never break them because she is frankly irrelevant to those things. he is so caught up in his sunk-cost fallacy that he feels the only way is through. lavellan may not be able to break the hold the past has on him because she is separate from it, but she can offer him another path once it has been broken, a fork in the road he thought was straight; her, their future.

i think to say solas's heart is not free is a misunderstanding. he denies his heart's desire over and over, we see this clearly in the letter he sends to lavellan in veilguard that expresses how badly he wanted to put down his burden and stay with her. in his expressed reluctance to leave her in crestwood, how he refuses to lie and tell her it meant nothing. in "no matter what happens, i want you to know that what we had was real". his indulgent final kiss in trespasser. in "i will never forget you". its especially apt that you worded it this way and that vhenan means "my heart". if anything, his heart is the most free part of him. it is everything else that belongs to mythal: his body, created at her command. his path of destruction and ruin, which she set him on. his purpose, which she distorted from wisdom to pride. she, then, is the only one who can give it all back to him. and as soon as she does, he is free to prioritize his heart. and he quite literally does.

tldr; play inquisition <3

[wholoveseggs]

(Quick note: I typed this all out using Elijah’s name but I wanted to say if you don’t think this would fit his character, I think this could also make sense with Kol. Don’t feel pressured to write anything!!)

Hello Lissa! I had an idea about reader and Elijah’s first time together but reader is also a virgin. I know that you’ve wrote a lot of readers first time fics with Elijah but it’s such a sweet trope and I absolutely love how he takes care of the reader in your writing.

How much do you know about dragons? (Don’t worry this isn’t going that way.) In a lot of myths and legends dragons are described as being attracted to virgins because of their purity. My idea is that the latest threat looming over their heads is some type of dragon and no one is too worried about being taken because none of them are virgins and they assume reader isn’t either. But Elijah, being her best friend notices the way her heart begins to race everytime they mention it and all of her other little nervous habits and pulls her to the side. She ends up confessing the truth to him and he tells her it’s nothing to be ashamed of and then after a bit of conversation offers to take her virginity. For safety reasons, obviously, or at least that’s what he’s telling himself. With an eventual confession between them about their actual feelings.

For Safety Reasons

18+ ---- {Masterlist} {Tag-List}

{Kol Mikaelson x f!reader} A dark legend. A looming threat. And Kol Mikaelson offering a very unconventional solution.

♡♡ Hellooo sweet anon!! I decided to use Kol for this one, mostly for the banter hehe.. enjoy xoxo ~ ♡♡

6k words - Warnings: Smuttt, virgin reader, first time, lots of teasing, oral (f!receiving), Kol being unbearably good at it..., blood-drinking, friends-to-lovers but still pretending it’s casual, a brief Elijah cameo (I can't help myself) cocky yet affectionate Kol, lot's of giggles and awkwardness && maybe a dragon...

Chaos was the order of the day in New Orleans. Strange rumors had been circulating throughout the French Quarter about something that was wreaking havoc on the city and no one seemed to have a clue about what it could be. It had been targeting young people and killing them in the night, leaving behind nothing more than a bloodied pile of flesh and bones.

Naturally, this caused quite a stir amongst the supernatural residents of the city, and they were all eager to get rid of the threat. Even the witches had no idea what it was, which meant that the problem wasn't going to go away easily.

And that was why a meeting was called in the compound, by Klaus. He needed all of the factions to come together and discuss how they were going to fix this problem.

You were sitting with Kol, whose nose was deep in an old book. You weren't even sure what kind of book it was. It was in a language you couldn't understand, and so old you feared it would poof into dust under Kol's very hands.

"Whatcha reading?" you asked him, leaning against his side a little.

Kol didn't answer you right away, and when he did, it was only to mutter the word 'purity' under his breath.

"Purity?" you questioned. "What are you talking about? What does this have to do with the attacks?"

He didn't look up at you. His brow was furrowed in concentration, and you could tell he was working something out in his head. "Nothing. It's probably nothing."

You looked at him in confusion.

"It's just an old legend about dragons...It's an archaic notion," Kol answered. "A myth. A legend. An idea that was created centuries ago."

"An idea? What do you mean?" You were getting more and more confused.

Before he could explain anything further, Klaus stood up from his seat, drawing the attention of everyone in the room.

Kol set his book down on the table, and you noticed an intricate drawing of some sort of reptile-humanoid creature. It was hideous looking, with sharp teeth, claws, and bat-like wings.

You couldn't tear your eyes away from the page, even as Klaus began to explain the killings happening in the city. Something about this creature just drew you in. The ink on the page seemed darker the longer you stared at it, the jagged lines of its claws curling as if ready to tear into something...or someone. You shivered, unable to shake the feeling that it was watching you.

"Do we have any leads on what this is? What is its weakness?" One of the witch leaders spoke up.

"If we did, it would already be dead," Klaus retorted.

"Perhaps we should stop trying to track it down, and instead focus on figuring out what it wants," Elijah suggested. "If we know what it wants, perhaps we can negotiate with it."

"What makes you think this thing can be negotiated with?" another witch demanded. "We have no idea what its agenda is. Why are these young people being targeted? Why hasn't anyone seen this thing?"

"Perhaps there's a link we haven't found yet," Kol chimed in. "Something we're missing."

"You sound like you already have an answer, brother," Klaus said. "Speak your mind."

"It's more of a theory, really," Kol admitted. "One based on legends."

"Let's hear it," Elijah prompted.

"Right, so, the victims. They're all young, yes? Unmarried?"

The room fell silent as the supernatural residents of the city nodded.

"What if it's...what if they're all..." Kol trailed off.

"All what?" Klaus demanded.

"Virgins," Kol finished.

Silence fell once more as the room considered Kol's words.

"So, what, this thing enjoys a virgin sacrifice? Is that what you're suggesting?" Klaus's voice was incredulous.

"I'm saying this creature feeds on innocence. On purity." Kol gestured to his book. "According to legend, dragons enjoy the dark and they are drawn to virgins. They're a delicacy, apparently."

Elijah hummed thoughtfully, reaching for the book Kol had been studying. He flipped through the fragile pages, his brows knitting together in concentration. “If that’s true,” he mused, “then we may have a way to predict its next victim.”

A slow, dawning horror crept through you as the conversation continued around you. No one in the room seemed particularly concerned… Why would they be? The assumption was clear: none of them fit the criteria.

But you did.

Your heart kicked against your ribs, your fingers tightening in your lap. You forced yourself to stay still, to breathe evenly. The last thing you needed was anyone noticing how much this conversation was affecting you.

Unfortunately, Kol noticed everything.

He had been watching you as soon as he mentioned the word virgins. At first, he thought maybe you were just unnerved by the idea of a beast roaming the streets, but then he saw the way your breathing had shifted, the way you refused to meet anyone’s eyes. Most telling of all? The rapid, frantic rhythm of your pulse. This was more than that…

Realization flickered in his dark eyes, something unreadable passing over his face before he leaned toward you, voice low and teasing. “What’s got you all jumpy, darling?”

You stiffened. “Nothing.”

Kol tilted his head, amusement dancing on the edge of his smirk, but there was something deeper beneath it now… something knowing.

“You sure about that?” His voice was softer now, more serious. “Because I could’ve sworn your heart nearly burst out of your chest a second ago.”

Your throat felt too tight. You could feel the weight of his stare, could practically hear the thoughts clicking into place behind his dark eyes. He knew. You had to get out of here before anyone else picked up on your growing panic.

You pushed up from your seat, trying to make a quiet escape, but Kol was already on his feet, catching your wrist before you could slip away. His grip was gentle but firm, and the warmth of his fingers sent another unwanted shiver through you. “Come with me,” he murmured, already steering you toward the hall.

You barely registered the questioning look Elijah sent your way before Kol tugged you through the compound, weaving through its corridors until you were somewhere quieter, more private. Only when he was satisfied that no one could overhear did he turn to face you fully.

“Tell me,” he said, voice low but insistent. “Tell me why you reacted like that.”

You hesitated, staring at the floor, but Kol wasn’t having it. He took a step closer, crowding into your space just enough to demand your attention. “Darling,” he pressed, “are you a virgin?”

You sucked in a sharp breath, your entire body tensing.

Kol let out a soft, almost disbelieving laugh, running a hand through his hair. “Bloody hell,” he muttered.

He looked back at you, his usual playfulness tempered by something else… Concern? Possessiveness? Whatever it was, it sent your pulse racing even faster.

“You know what this means, don’t you?” he continued, his tone serious.

You nodded, barely able to speak past the lump in your throat. If the legends were true, you were exactly what this thing was hunting.

Kol cursed under his breath, rubbing a hand over his jaw. Then, in true Kol fashion, he exhaled heavily and shot you a wicked smirk. “Well, love, there’s an easy way to solve this problem.”

You blinked at him. “What?”

Kol arched a brow. “I mean, it’s simple. If this thing is only after virgins, all we have to do is make sure you’re not one anymore.”

Your stomach flipped. “Y-you cannot be serious.”

“Oh, I’m very serious.” His smirk widened, but there was something else in his eyes now, something unreadable. He shrugged, feigning casualness. “Think about it. It’s not a bad idea.”

You gawked at him. “Not a bad idea? That’s your solution?”

Kol leaned in, voice dropping to something dangerously low. “What? You don’t trust me to take care of you?”

Your lips parted, your brain struggling to catch up. Kol had always been a flirt, but this was different. His teasing carried weight, an offer laced in his words.

For safety reasons, obviously.

At least, that’s what you were telling yourselves.

Your cheeks warmed. You wanted to tell him no, wanted to shove him away and storm off. But the heat pooling low in your belly begged to differ. And, as much as you hated to admit it, Kol had a point.

If the creature was only targeting virgins, then losing your virginity could be the solution. The easiest, most convenient solution. And with Kol... Well... It wasn't exactly like you were opposed to the idea.

Still, the whole situation was enough to have you shaking. Your hands twisted in your skirt, a nervous habit Kol was quick to notice.

He sighed, expression softening, and reached out to gently cup your cheek. He rubbed his thumb along your jaw, his touch warm and soothing.

"Or you can die a horrible bloody death? I mean... If you are that disgusted by me," he teased.

You huffed, shoving him. "Ass."

He laughed, tugging you closer and leaning in until his breath was ghosting across your lips. "So, what'll it be, darling?"

You bit your lip, staring up at him. There were so many reasons why this was a terrible idea, but none of them felt important anymore.

"Where?" You asked so softly, that normal hearing would have missed it.

Kol didn't miss it, and his eyes lit up with a hunger that sent a fresh wave of heat through you. He took your hand, pressing a soft kiss to your knuckles. "Tonight," he promised. "My room. Just after sunset."

"Sounds romantic," you replied, it meant to sound sarcastic, but came out a bit breathier than intended.

He smirked, squeezing your hand. "See you tonight, darling."

"Yeah," you whispered, heart hammering wildly as he let go of you and disappeared back down the hall.

Your palms were sweaty, your skin tingling where he touched you. You weren't sure if you were excited or terrified. Probably both.

All you could hope for is that you weren't making a huge mistake.

Kol's room was located in the attic of the compound. It was a smaller space, with a slanted ceiling and a large cosy bed tucked into the corner. It was simple, compared to the rest of the house, but it was undeniably Kol.

Your gaze swept over the cluttered surface of his desk, over the stacks of books and notebooks, the old photos and the trinkets from his travels.

"See anything you like?"

You whirled around, heat spreading through your cheeks. Kol was leaning against the doorway, his dark eyes sweeping over you. Why?!! Why did he have to look so good in just his t-shirt and a pair of jeans? It was not fair.

But you pulled yourself together enough to tease him back, "Rather odd choice of bedroom, all the way up here with the spiders."

Kol scoffed, shutting the door behind him. "I'll have you know I quite enjoy the solitude. Besides, no one will hear us from all the way up here."

You tried not to focus on the last part, but failed miserably. He was grinning at you with that same mischievous smirk he always wore, and you had no doubt he knew the effect his words were having on you.

"So... Uhh. How are we doing this?" You asked awkwardly, feeling the need to break the silence.

"Hmm." Kol walked past you, settling down on the edge of his bed and looking up at you with a devilish glint in his eyes. "Well, that's entirely up to you, darling."

He reached out his hand and pulled you into his lap, and a soft squeak escaped you at the sudden motion. You shifted, trying to find a more comfortable position, but the feeling of his hard chest pressed against your back was doing nothing to ease the butterflies in your stomach and Kol's smirk widened.

"What is it?" he murmured, his lips brushing against your ear. "Do I make you nervous?"

You huffed. "Just not used to...being this close, is all."

"We've cuddled before," he pointed out, his hand sliding further down your side, resting just above your hip.

"Not like this... That was a friendly snuggle. This is a..." You paused, not sure how to finish the sentence.

"Snuggle with benefits?" Kol supplied, and you couldn't help but laugh.

"Sure," you giggled. "Something like that."

He chuckled, pressing a light kiss against your neck. Then he gently lifted you and moved you into the center of the bed, so that you were lying down and he was hovering above you, braced on his arms. "So, do I?" He murmured.

"Do you what?"

"Make you nervous."

You swallowed. "No," you lied, and he chuckled again, leaning in until his lips were ghosting over yours.

"Really?"

You nodded.

"So, if I kissed you right now..." He trailed off, his tongue darting out to wet his lips.

You held your breath, heart pounding.

"...That would be fine with you?"

"Uh huh."

"Okay," he breathed. Then his mouth was on yours, warm and gentle and so full of tenderness that you couldn't help the moan that escaped you.

He smiled into the kiss, his hands moving down your sides, gripping your hips and pulling you flush against him. The sensation of his body pressed against yours sent a rush of heat through you, and you arched into him, eager for more.

He slid a hand underneath your shirt, his palm brushing against the bare skin of your stomach, and the contact was enough to make you shudder. He groaned, pulling back just enough to whisper against your lips.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah," you panted. "Just... sensitive."

"In a good way?" he teased, and you rolled your eyes, pushing at his chest.

"Don't get cocky."

He laughed, kissing you again and shifting his hips against yours, and the feeling of his hardness grinding against your core had you moaning into his mouth.

"You seem to like my cockiness," he teased, rolling his hips again and you whimpered, burying your face in his neck.

"Shut up."

"Never," he growled, kissing your cheek and pulling back just far enough to strip his shirt off and toss it to the floor. You had seen Kol shirtless countless times before, but this was different.

You ran a hand over his stomach, marveling at the feel of his abs flexing beneath your fingertips. You traced a line down the center of his chest, letting your nails scrape lightly against his skin.

"I guess you are pretty fit," you teased, and he smirked.

"You don't need to guess," he purred. "I know you think I'm hot."

You scoffed. "You are not getting a bigger ego, I won't allow it."

"It's too late," he said, capturing your mouth again, kissing you deep and slow. He shifted his weight onto one arm, trailing the other down the side of your body, tracing a line down to your waist.

"Now," he whispered, his fingers trailing along the hem of your shirt, teasingly skimming beneath the fabric. "Can I see more of you?"

You bit your lip, nodding.

He lifted your shirt over your head, tossing it aside. His eyes roamed hungrily over your exposed skin, and the sight of his pupils dilating made your pulse skip.

You barely had time to register the rush of cool air against your skin before Kol’s hands slid up your sides, his fingers toying with the straps of your bra.

"May I?" His voice was softer now, patient, but the heat in his gaze made your stomach flip.

You nodded hesitantly, but as soon as he reached behind you, unclasping it with ease, a fresh wave of shyness flooded through you. You instinctively crossed your arms over your chest, cheeks burning.

Kol let out a soft, amused chuckle. "Oh, darling," he murmured, brushing his lips against the shell of your ear. "No need to be shy. You’re breathtaking."

You bit your lip, hesitating. His hands gently traced the curve of your arms, coaxing them away, his expression utterly captivated. He pressed a gentle kiss against your shoulder, then traced a path with his lips, following the curve of your collarbone. His touch was light and careful, as if he were afraid of hurting you.

Your hands tangled in his hair, half-heartedly trying to tug him away. "Kol..."

"Yes?" He hummed as he kissed his way down the center of your chest, pausing just above the valley of your breasts.

"Y-you don't have to do that...I'm fine, really," you stuttered, cheeks flaming.

"Did you think I was just going to shove my cock in you unceremoniously and be done with it?" Kol chuckled.

"I... well..."

"That is not my way," he assured, his lips ghosted over the swell of your breast, his warm breath teasing you.

You didn't get a chance to respond, because his tongue found your nipple, and all coherent thought fled.

He circled it slowly, sucking gently, his other hand finding your breast, massaging the soft flesh. He teased and played, switching between the two until both of your nipples were hard and aching.

His lips were soft and warm and so damn perfect, and you could feel the heat of his tongue as he moved further down your body, pressing wet, open-mouthed kisses along the way.

His fingers hooked in the waistband of your skirt, sliding the fabric down over your thighs and tossing it onto the floor. His lips traveled over your stomach, nipping lightly at your hip bones.

"Really.. you don't have to, Kol," you said weakly, despite the fact that every cell in your body was screaming at him to keep going.

He ignored your protests, his dark eyes flicking up to meet yours as he placed a kiss right above the hem of your panties.

"These are cute, did you wear them just for me?" He murmured, tracing the edge with his thumb.

"N-no," you stammered, and he chuckled.

"You're a terrible liar."

"Maybe you should stop asking me questions then," you shot back, and he smirked.

He lifted your thighs, draping them over his strong shoulders, his eyes locked on yours.

"Can I?" He purred, and the sight of his dark gaze, framed by your legs, had your heart pounding.

You nodded, and he rewarded you by dipping his head, running his tongue slowly over your clothed sex. The heat and smell of you sent a shudder through him, and he groaned, pulling you closer.

He licked and sucked, his tongue pressing against the soaked fabric, teasing your clit. He could feel the way it swelled under his touch, and the sound of your breathy moans was making him painfully hard.

“You are so lovely,” he murmured against the damp lace, his breath hot and teasing. He placed another slow, deliberate kiss over the fabric before glancing up, mischief glinting in his dark eyes. “Are you sure you want me to stop?”

You let out a shaky exhale, fingers tightening in his hair. “I…I never said stop.”

Kol smirked, his grip on your thighs tightening as he pressed another kiss to your inner thigh, scraping his teeth lightly against your skin. “Good girl,” he purred, and the two simple words sent a wave of heat pooling deep in your belly.

Without further teasing, he hooked his fingers beneath your panties and dragged them down your legs, his gaze locked onto yours the entire time. You swore you could feel the weight of his stare, the way he was drinking you in like a man starved.

Then his hands were on your thighs again, urging them apart, and he lowered his mouth to your aching core, licking a slow, deliberate path from your entrance up to your clit.

You gasped, and he chuckled, repeating the motion and adding more pressure. Your head fell back against the pillow, pleasure pulsing through you as he worked his tongue over you. His movements were practiced and sure, like he already knew exactly what you liked, and your breath caught in your throat as his tongue slid lower, circling your entrance before pushing inside.

The feeling was unlike anything you had experienced before, and you couldn't stop the desperate whimpers from spilling past your lips. He rubbed your clit with his thumb, his eyes flicking up to watch your face as he lapped at you. You looked down at him and the sight of him buried between your legs, his dark hair falling in his face, his cheeks flushed with need, was enough to have you coming apart.

Your orgasm hit hard, ripping through you with an intensity that had you crying out, trembling under the force of his skilled mouth. He didn't let up, didn't pull away, just kept working his tongue until your back was arching. You feared you would pull out his hair with how tightly you were gripping it, but his muffled groan and the way his tongue was thrusting deeper inside you only urged you on.

You came again, the second one more intense than the first. By the time he was finished, your thighs were quivering, and you were a panting, sweaty mess.

"Fuck," you gasped, and Kol chuckled, placing a light kiss on your inner thigh.

You slowly caught your breath, and Kol kissed his way back up your body, pressing his lips against your throat.

"Still nervous?" He murmured, and you shook your head, wrapping your arms around him.

"Not even a little," you said, and his lips curved into a smile.

"Good," he said, and then his mouth was on yours, his tongue brushing against yours, and you could taste yourself on his lips. "You are such a pretty little thing, darling. So fucking perfect."

"Shut up, you don't have to be charming, it's just me."

He smiled, brushing his nose against yours. "No, darling, I want to. I'm going to make this good for you."

"Kol..." You didn't know how to tell him that it was already better than anything you could have imagined.

He kissed you again, softer this time, his fingers tangling in your hair.

"I promise I will go slow, okay?" He whispered, and you nodded, biting your lip.

He slid a hand between you, unbuckling his jeans and pushing them down over his hips. You took in the sight of him, the muscles of his stomach flexing, the faint lines of his abs, the v shape that disappeared into his boxers.

He was hard, and you could see the outline of his length straining against the fabric. It made you a little dizzy, seeing how much he wanted you, and you swallowed, reaching out to run a hand down his stomach.

"I want you to know...," he began, and you looked up, meeting his eyes. "I'm not just doing this because I want to protect you."

You bit your lip, fighting back a smile.

"I also happen to really, really, want to fuck you." He added.

You giggled. "So eloquent."

"What can I say, I'm a poet at heart."

You laughed again, and he leaned down, capturing your lips in a deep, searing kiss.

"If I do anything you don't like," he murmured against your mouth, his hand sliding down the side of your body. "Or if you want to stop, just tell me, and I'll stop, okay?"

You nodded, and he kissed you again, one of his hands was planted beside your head, holding him up, while the other was freeing his cock from his boxers. You could feel his erection pressing against your inner thigh, and the sensation sent a wave of heat washing through you.

"Kol, wait, before we..." You began, and he froze.

"What's wrong?"

"I want you to bite me," you blurted.

"Rather kinky for the first time," he teased as he gently spread your legs, settling between them. "We can work our way up to that,"

You blushed at the way he was looking at you, his gaze roaming over your bare form. This was it, there was no going back now. Not that you wanted to.

He brushed his nose against yours, his hand coming up to cup your cheek. "My sweet darling," he murmured, and you melted into his touch.

He reached down, grabbing himself and giving his length a few lazy strokes. You spread your legs a little wider, and he positioned himself, his tip brushing against your entrance.

Kol let out a deep, satisfied groan as he eased himself fully inside you, his forehead dropping against yours. The stretch burned, but it wasn’t unbearable… more like an unfamiliar pressure, a new sensation that left you gasping for breath.

"Well," he exhaled, voice low and teasing against your lips. "That was the big event. Congratulations, you are no longer a virgin."

You let out a breathless laugh, your fingers curling into his hair. "Well, I guess we’re done here then," you shot back, mimicking his tone.

Kol huffed a laugh, shaking his head as he nudged your nose with his own. "Oh, sweetheart," he murmured, his hips rolling forward just slightly, making you gasp. "We’ve only just begun."

Your body twitched beneath him, still adjusting, and he paused, watching your face carefully. "Still with me, darling?"

You swallowed, nodding. "Yeah… just, um, a lot all at once."

Kol smirked, pressing a soft kiss to the corner of your mouth. "That’s the idea, love."

He started moving, slow and measured at first, his hands gripping your hips as he tilted your body just right beneath him. The feeling was overwhelming, the sensation of him moving inside of you making your breathing increase.

"That’s it," Kol praised, his tone smug as he watched your expression shift. "I knew you would feel so good around me."

You huffed, biting back a moan as he rolled his hips again, this time a little deeper. "You just have to make everything about yourself, don’t you?"

Kol chuckled, leaning down to press a kiss to your throat, his lips lingering over your pulse. "Would you have me any other way?"

You wanted to argue, but the way he angled his thrusts perfectly against that growing ache inside you stole your breath, leaving you clutching at his shoulders instead.

Damn him.

"You’re taking me so well, darling," he murmured against your skin, his hand skimming down your thigh to hook your leg around his waist, deepening the angle.

Your moan was borderline embarrassing, and Kol grinned like a man who had just won the lottery.

"Shut up," you mumbled, flustered by his smugness.

"I haven’t even said anything," he teased, rolling his hips again, sending a sharp wave of pleasure through you.

You whimpered, arching into him, and he groaned, his mouth finding your collarbone, nipping at the skin there. His fangs scraped against you lightly, and you wanted to feel them sink into you.

"Kol," you breathed, voice hushed.

He glanced up at you, slowing his thrusts just slightly. "Hmm?"

Your fingers slid into his hair, tugging just enough to make his breath hitch. His lips hovered against your throat, his fangs still barely grazing the sensitive skin there.

"Please… I want you to…," you whispered.

Kol’s body stilled completely.

His dark eyes flickered up to meet yours, searching. “Darling…" His voice had lost its usual teasing lilt, dipping into something rougher, more serious.

"I mean it," you murmured, stroking your thumb along his cheek. "I want to feel you."

Kol swallowed hard, his restraint visibly slipping. "Are you sure?"

You nodded, tilting your head to the side in silent invitation, your eyes closed, heart racing.

He watched you for a moment, the way your chest rose and fell with each shallow breath, the way your pulse jumped under your skin. You were the most precious thing in the world to him, and he couldn't believe that you were here, willing, trusting him.

His lips brushed against the hollow of your throat, feather-light. He felt your heart skip, your fingers digging into his shoulders.

"Easy, darling," he whispered, and then his fangs sank into your flesh.

The pain was sharp, a stinging ache that had you sucking in a breath, but then the pleasure hit, a heady rush of warmth that left you dizzy. It was unlike anything you had felt before, a strange, euphoric sort of high. You could feel his lips move against your skin as he drank, his hips resuming their steady pace, his hands holding you firmly beneath him.

His tongue flicked out, swiping over the puncture marks, soothing them. Your blood was hot and sweet, and the sound of his name falling from your lips in a moan had him nearly feral with desire.

You were overwhelmed, every sensation heightened by his bite, the feeling of his lips on your skin, his cock deep within you, his hands gripping your hips. He was everywhere, his touch lighting up every nerve, his voice rough and breathless in your ear, calling you his darling, his love. The connection had always been there, lingering in the background, and now it was like a floodgate had been opened. You could feel his adoration, his lust, his possessive desire to claim every part of you, and the intensity of it was almost too much to bear.

You were close, so close, and he could feel it. He could feel everything. He could feel the way your muscles tightened around him, the way your heartbeat quickened, the way your skin flushed beneath his touch.

He would easily burn the world down just to stay in this moment. To make it stretch out forever, the two of you wrapped up in each other, bodies and souls entwined.

You clung to him, lost in a haze of bliss, your orgasm washing over you like a tidal wave, crashing down, sweeping you away. He followed soon after, groaning as he came undone, his movements growing erratic.

He rode out his climax, his hips stuttering as he emptied himself deep inside of you. Then he collapsed against your chest, his breathing ragged, his body slick with sweat.

You could feel his heart pounding against yours, and the sensation made a giddy laugh bubble up inside you. He lifted his head, his expression equal parts shocked and amused.

For a moment, there was only the sound of your laughter, the two of you tangled together, a mess of limbs and sheets. Then he sat up, pulling you into his lap, your bodies still connected, his arms wrapped tightly around you.

"I fear I'm going to keep you in my bed for the rest of eternity," he mused, stroking a hand through your hair.

You giggled, snuggling closer to him, your arms winding around his neck.

"It's a good thing I like you then." You teased.

Kol grinned, kissing the tip of your nose. "Just like? You wound me."

"Hmm," you hummed, pretending to think. "I suppose I like you a lot."

"Well, I suppose I like you a lot as well," he quipped.

"Good," you sighed, resting your head against his shoulder. "Because I'm not going anywhere."

"Not ever," he whispered, sealing the promise with a kiss.

You were still catching your breath, tangled in Kol’s arms, when a sharp knock on the attic door made you both freeze.

"Kol, there's news."

Elijah’s voice.

Your stomach dropped as your eyes snapped to Kol’s. He looked equally unimpressed, his smug post-coital bliss evaporating into exasperation.

"Go away, Elijah," Kol called, his chin resting lazily atop your head. "This is hardly the time."

There was a pause.

Then another knock, firmer this time.

"It’s important, Kol."

Kol groaned, flopping back against the pillows dramatically and pulling you down with him. "Honestly, you’d think he’d know better than to interrupt such a special moment."

You smacked his chest, still mortified by the thought of Elijah standing on the other side of the door. "Kol, just tell him to leave before-"

Before you could finish, the door creaked open.

Elijah stepped inside, his face composed… until he saw Kol in bed, bare-chested, disheveled… and then you.

Wrapped in the sheets.

Still very much in Kol’s lap.

A rare, almost human moment of horror flickered across Elijah’s usually unreadable face. His shoulders went stiff. His eyes widened ever so slightly.

And then, very slowly, he turned his back to you both, adjusting his cuffs as if that could somehow fix this situation. "I… was not aware you had company."

You wanted to sink into the mattress and disappear. Kol, however, was completely unbothered. If anything, he was amused beyond words.

"Well, perhaps you should learn to take ‘go away’ seriously," he said cheerfully, pulling the sheets up around your shoulders in a poor excuse for modesty.

You buried your face against Kol’s chest, horrified.

Elijah cleared his throat, clearly regretting every decision that had led him to this moment. "I’ll be brief."

"Please do," Kol drawled, stroking your back. You buried yourself further against him, wishing you could vanish.

Elijah took a measured breath, ignoring Kol completely. "We caught the killer."

Your head snapped up. "What?"

Elijah nodded, still very pointedly looking at the ceiling rather than at either of you. "Turns out, it wasn’t a dragon. There was no mythical beast involved at all."

Silence.

Your stomach twisted. "What?" You repeated.

"The culprit was a rogue witch," Elijah continued, clearly eager to finish this conversation and erase it from his memory. "He was targeting young people he believed had latent magical abilities, using ritual sacrifice to steal their power."

You stared at him, blinking.

Kol tilted his head. "So… no dragons stealing virgins, then?"

"No, Kol." Elijah replied flatly.

Kol nodded slowly, taking this information in. "Ah."

There was a beat of silence.

Then Kol laughed.

Not just a chuckle. Full-bodied, amused beyond reason, utterly entertained.

You, however, were not laughing. And neither was Elijah, who shot a quick glance at his brother, confusion written all over his face, before turning away again.

"I will leave you both to… whatever this is." Elijah said, gesturing vaguely at the two of you. "Just... please make use of the lock."

He was gone in a flash, and you buried your face against Kol again, mortified.

"This is not funny, Kol!" You cried.

Kol, of course, was still laughing, you tried to squirm out of his arms, but he held you tight, pulling you back against his chest.

"I can't believe you're laughing right now!" You huffed, smacking his arm.

He snorted, his body shaking with laughter. "I'm sorry, love, I just..." He shook his head, still chuckling. "This whole situation is hilarious."

"To you," you grumbled, and he pressed a kiss to the top of your head.

"Doesn’t change the fact that you were absolutely desperate for me." He said, and you glared at him.

"Shut up." You muttered, pulling the sheet around you.

Kol's lips curled into a smirk, and he pulled you closer.

"Don't pout, love," he purred, brushing his nose against yours. "Don’t be shy about it now. The damage is done. Your virtue has been thoroughly ruined."

You groaned, covering your face. "I hate you."

Kol grinned, crawling over you again, his weight warm and familiar as he kissed your jaw. "No, you don’t."

You sighed, relaxing just slightly as his lips trailed along your collarbone.

After a moment, Kol shifted, resting his forehead against yours, his voice quieter now. "Do you regret it?"

You hesitated.

Because, no. You didn’t. Not even a little. The two of you felt so connected, like a missing piece had finally slotted into place.

Your eyes met his, and you shook your head.

"No. Never."

A smile tugged at his lips, and he pressed a gentle kiss to your lips. "Good."

"But, um," you bit your lip, glancing towards the door. "I'm definitely never looking Elijah in the eye again."

Kol snorted, and the two of you dissolved into a fit of giggles, tangled in the sheets, the stress and fear of the last few days finally fading away.

Because you were safe, and Kol was safe, and that was all that mattered.

Everything else would just have to wait.

[rosecoloredtarot]

I think people have become so far removed from the natural world that "witnessing nature do it's thing" is often misinterpreted as having mystical significance.

This is not meant to be a judgement of anyone, no one here is the reason we live in a society away from the wilds. But I think that the little to no exposure people have with non-human spaces turns perfectly ordinary occurrences into something of a spectacle.

"I keep seeing large groups of crows around, who is trying to reach out?" Probably no one, crows are diurnal flock animals that actively seek out people because they are smart and know we have lots of stuff they can scavenge.

"This tree in my yard put out SO many flowers but seems to be dying now, did someone curse me?" Nope! Trees, particularly fruit trees, can stress bloom, where they put out tons of flowers in response to any number of stressors. Might wanna see if you can fix the stressors to save the tree.

"I was walking around during a storm and lightning hit a tree I was near, what does that mean?" It means you should thank your lucky stars you didn't get hit yourself. Lightning wants to touch the ground so badly and will zap the tallest thing around because that is the fastest way there.

"A cat gave birth under my house, do I have a familiar now?" Maybe. But under the house is dry, warm and relatively safe. She picked that spot because its a good place to keep her babies.

All of these things and more happen ALL THE TIME, we just aren't as aware of them as we used to be. Seeing nature in action is incredible and special in it's own right, just maybe not in the way you want it to be.

[mattyriddlesbitch]

cliche but I’m a sucker for those tropes where she’s the dare matheo’s friends made him bet on and she finds out

I love those tropes too, it hurts, but is so good. Thank youuuuuu! <3

Bet

Mattheo Riddle x F!Reader

Warnings: Angsty, one use of 'shitty', I think that's it.

You and Mattheo had been dating for just 3 months now. It had been going great. Your dates were always really fun and nice. You always seemed to be hanging out and kissing and holding hands and just being a regular grossly cute couple. It was all so perfect.

That was until you were coming up the stairs of the Astronomy Tower to hang out with the boys. They were up there already and talking and you heard your name so you stopped to listen.

“It's been 3 months with (Y/N). I guess that means you win.” You heard Enzo say, just making you confused.

“I can't believe you did it. I thought you'd get bored of her after 2 weeks.” Theo added.

“You guys should already know how seriously I take bets. I like proving you guys wrong.” Mattheo, your boyfriend, said.

“I think you just like taking our money.” Draco said and the boys laughed.

You felt sick. You were a bet?

You stood on the stairs for a moment, just taking in the conversation and if you paid attention, you could even hear the money being exchanged, the little clinking of coins as they were being passed.

You turned around, hurrying down the stairs as quietly as you could. How humiliating. How could you face any of them again?

You actually really liked Mattheo. He was so sweet and made you laugh and made you feel appreciated. And now you just felt sick and horrible. How could someone fake all that?

You went back to your dorm, unsure if you should hurl or cry. Instead, you settled for going to sleep, not even bothering to change as you settled into your bed, hiding under the blankets. Was it embarrassing to throw yourself a pity party over a boy toying with your feelings? Yes. But right now, you didn't care. You just wanted to sleep and hopefully wake up to either that conversation being a cruel dream or Mattheo never existing.

It took a lot of tossing and turning, but you managed to get to sleep. You woke up in the morning all sweaty and still upset. You didn't wanna get out of bed. You knew getting up meant that you'd have to see him and probably confront him and you didn't know if you were ready for that.

You forced yourself out of bed anyways, knowing there were still classes today, and as much as you would've loved to sulk in bed, you couldn't miss lessons. You got ready for the day, showering and getting dressed in your uniform before heading out.

Only Mattheo was in front of your door when you opened it, holding a pastry and some drink with a look of concern. You froze, not sure what to do.

“Morning, princess. We missed you last night.” He said, offering you the food and drink.

“I was too tired.” You lied, stepping out of your dorm and closing the door. You accepted the food and drink knowing you'll probably just end up throwing it away anyways. Your stomach still felt too sick to eat.

“You could've told me, angel. I would've just spent the night with you. You know I'd rather spend time with you.” He said with a soft smile.

“Sorry. I wasn't really thinking.” You said and started making your way to your class.

Mattheo was quick to follow. “It's alright. I was just worried. Plus, I missed you.” He said as he wrapped an arm around your shoulder, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

The contact made you feel gross. It didn't feel right anymore. But you kept your mouth shut for now. You didn't want to make a scene before classes. You were already embarrassed as is, if everyone knew you were just a bet because you fought with Mattheo in front of everyone, you'd probably die.

Classes were awful. They probably would've been normal, even good, if that pit in your stomach would've left. You felt too sick to eat other than a few bites at lunch. You locked yourself in your dorm after classes and tried busying yourself with schoolwork. It was really hard to concentrate, though. Merlin, in only 3 months, you had a few pictures of him in your dorm. Not to mention a shitty necklace he bought that hung around your neck. You took it off and tossed it to your bed so you wouldn't be seeing it every time you looked down at your work. Even put the pictures away in a drawer so you could focus. 

You got so focused in schoolwork, a good distraction from your asshole boyfriend. You still felt horrible, but at least you weren't thinking of him as you answered questions about the history of magic. You didn't even notice you missed dinner as you sat at your desk, throwing yourself into work instead of sulking.

You got pulled out of your little world as someone knocked on the door. You looked at the door for a second before standing up and opening it to see Mattheo again, standing there with a plate of food and a smile.

“Hey, princess. You missed dinner, so I brought you something. I don't want you starving.” He said.

“Thanks. I was just caught up in some schoolwork.” You said as you took the plate, this time it was the truth. Even just looking at the food made you sick. Why was he being so sweet when this is all a lie?

“Is everything okay?” He asked and you noticed you were making a sour face at the food.

“I don't feel like eating.” You said simply.

“Why? Are you feeling sick?” He asked, reaching a hand out to feel your forehead for a fever.

You stopped his hand by pushing his arm away. “I'm not sick.”

He frowned at you not letting him touch you. “Then what's going on?” His eyes looked over you, stopping around your chest. “You aren't wearing my necklace.” He noted, knowing you haven't taken it off since he gave it to you.

You couldn't do it anymore. “Was I just a bet?” You asked, matching his frown.

His face softened slightly as his mouth opened to say something, but no words came out. He didn't wanna say ‘yes’ but he didn't wanna lie either.

It answered your question anyways and you felt tears stinging your eyes at the confirmation. “Don't bother me ever again.” You said and shoved the plate of food at him, letting go before he could even react to grab it, making it fall to the floor as you closed the door on him.

He stood outside your door, trying to gather his thoughts as to what to do next. You may have been just a bet to start with, but, Merlin, help him, he was falling hard for you.

You curled up in your bed again, too depressed to even think about continuing your schoolwork.

The next few days were spent trying to avoid Mattheo and his friends while getting through classes. You saw him try to approach you several times, but you dodged him every time. You missed him and you hated yourself for even thinking that. He hurt you. Why did you miss him?

It wasn't until almost a week later, when you came back to your dorm after classes, you opened the door to see Mattheo leaning against your desk, looking at one of the pictures you shoved in a drawer. You dropped your bag to the floor beside you with a sigh as he looked up at you, standing up straight as he put the picture down.

You crossed your arms as you looked at him. “I told you not to bother me again.”

“I'm sorry.” He said, taking a few steps towards you. “I'll do anything you want but that. I know you're upset. Kick me, punch me, hex me. Do whatever will make you feel better. But I can't just leave you alone.” He looked like he wanted to touch you, but put his hands in his pockets instead.

“I don't care, just leave.” You said, gesturing to the open door.

He went over to the door, but instead of leaving, he just closed it. “I'll be honest, completely honest. Yes, you were a bet. It was supposed to be something fun for me and my friends, but instead, I ended up getting feelings for you.”

You scoffed, shaking your head. “So what? You want me to forget that what you did hurt me? You want me to pretend that you didn't have the intentions to play with my feelings and use me for fun?” The hurt and anger was obvious in your tone.

“No. You're right. What I did was awful and I shouldn't have done it.” He said, running a hand through his hair as he looked at the floor.

“So what do you want from me?” You asked, your tone was still harsh.

“You. I want you.” His answer was immediate as he took another step towards you.

You looked away, sighing again in frustration. “I can't just forget and ignore what you did.”

“Please, (Y/N). I'll do anything.” He said, now reaching out for your hand but you step back out of his reach.

“How much?” You asked.

“What?” He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion as he let his hand fall by his side again.

“How much? How much did you get from the bet?”

He hesitated before answering, obviously not fond of the question. “100 galleons.”

“Did you get it? You win?” You asked, the harshness in your tone causing him to shift uncomfortably.

“Yeah.” He said, putting his hand back in his pocket.

“You mean it? For real? About you catching feelings?” You asked a little softer.

“I do.” He really didn't wanna say more than you asked in case he said the wrong thing, so he bit his tongue to not ramble about his feelings towards you.

You stared at him as you thought about what to do. He hurt you, but you actually had feelings for him too. “Was anything else a lie?”

“No. Everything I said and did was all me. No lies, no acts. I was being me. The real me.” He took another step towards you.

You let out a long exhale as you thought. If he was being genuine, then you guys could restart properly. But he wasn't genuine before, so why should you believe him now?

“Please.” He said softly as he stepped towards you again, nearly toe-to-toe with you.

You closed your eyes and sighed, knowing what you were about to do was stupid. “On conditions.” You say and open your eyes to look at him.

His face immediately lit up as he nodded. “Anything.”

“I want the money.” You said and he smiled ever so slightly and nodded. “Not fair you played me and got money for it. Not fair for your friends to get it back either since they made the bet with you.”

“Absolutely. I was gonna take you somewhere nice with it and maybe buy you something, but whatever you want.” He said.

You almost smiled at the thought, but wanted to keep up being angry with him. “I want an apology and love letter. Handwritten until your hand hurts.”

“Fair.” He nodded, his smile getting bigger.

“I want apologies from everyone involved with the bet too.” You added.

He tilted his head in thought. “I can do that.”

“Better get started.”

“Right after this.” He said and cupped your cheeks, leaning in and kissing you gently. “You're so cute when you're upset.”

“I'm about to be downright adorable if you don't get to work now, Riddle.”

“Fine.” He said, stepping back towards your door. “You're gonna love me tomorrow, though! Just wait!” He smiled at you as he left your dorm.

Taglist:

@jeannie-beannie @yourenogoodforme @mixvchelle @helendeath @evaslytherpuff

@soaked4abby @hpnsfwaddict @mayamonroem @motherfing-stargirl @brittney-121

@dracoslovergirl @littlemadamred @mattheoriddlesbitch @acornacreacure @opheliamalfoy236

@demieyesore @akira1246 @queenshu

Let me know if you wanna be added!

[asneakyfox]

so let's talk about david jenkins saying the idea was that the crew would dump ed overboard in the mutiny before the writers changed their minds and had him kept in the hold.

he says they changed this for pacing reasons, so that the reunion could happen in 2x03 instead of being delayed longer, and i cannot argue with that, waiting any longer sounds excruciating. so i'm not complaining about this as, like, villainous interference from the WBD suits or anything, although it might be a decision forced by cutting the number of episodes. probably still the right call under the circumstances. BUT i'm interested in it because this explains a couple things that are weird about the plot structure of the whole season as it stands.

so first of all the crew throwing the body overboard just immediately makes a lot more sense because it doesn't actually require them to have failed to notice he wasn't dead. it would be pretty tough to carry the body into the hold and lay him out and cover his face with a lil washcloth and everything and not notice at any point during this that he's still breathing or that he has a pulse. and if they did notice you'd think they'd either finish the job quickly or try to treat him if they'd had a change of heart, not leave him to die slow. however the idea that they would beat him till he stopped moving then immediately chuck the body overboard, that totally makes sense, you wouldn't stop to check if he was already dead or not because one way or another he will be pretty shortly after you dump him in the ocean.

second the line from stede to izzy about "you were the one who kept his body onboard" always bugged me because it feels like it's meant to establish something about izzy but it's really unclear WHAT it tells us about him, in a way that doesn't seem like intentional ambiguity: i've seen people interpret it as a sign of his devotion and i've seen others assume it was a practical decision that the crew should keep ed's body around to claim the bounty on blackbeard. (and i've seen both interpretations from people both in and out of the canyon, so it's not even a normal izcourse divide.) i actually wondered at one point if the purpose was to foreshadow where izzy's arc is going to end by establishing that he thinks it's more respectful to bury a pirate on land than at sea, although if that was the idea it sure didn't work on the people who'd care most.

however this new info from djenks explains it pretty neatly, which is that the reason for the line isn't to establish character stuff about izzy at all it's just there to awkwardly patch a plothole. it's that someone in the writers' room was like "but it doesn't make any sense, why WOULDN'T they dump his body overboard once they'd killed him" and somebody else was like "idk uh maybe we can put in a line about how izzy stopped them or something."

now more interestingly! this also would change something bigger about 2x04. because i'm guessing the idea here would be that ed would have actually for real washed up on an island that looks just like the one in the gravy basket and just never actually gotten up off the beach, and stede would find him there, mermaid scene, and ed would wake up mad and storm off into the woods with where he meets mary read with stede already trying to follow him and the rest of the episode proceeds as normal from there. (and probably buttons would be just, like, hanging around following stede, or maybe he was already acting as a psychopomp and led stede to ed's body, idk, lots of possible ways to play that.)

this means you completely lose the beat of the crew voting ed off the ship. you wouldn't lose the idea of the crew being pissed at him; you could still have the kitty collar onesie probation stuff after he got back. but this is a BIG change.

first of all it solves a big obvious problem LOTS of people pointed out immediately when the episode aired which is that it makes no sense that stede would just stay on the ship after letting ed be exiled. reuniting with ed has been his driving goal for months and it's not even like ed has definitively told him to fuck off, he's just stomping off angry and incoherent and not even clearly in his right mind. but they couldn't let stede actually follow ed on his own initiative immediately, because it would undermine the later fisherman breakup if stede has already established that he's willing to leave his pirate career behind if that's what it takes to be with ed. so you end up with this awkward beat where he's just kind of passively standing there until buttons tells him what to do.

i think there's something even more important it does though! one criticism a LOT of people had about s2 was feeling like the crew all hated ed now and there was no clear sign they'd forgiven him by the end, and also some people had the impression that stede had just overriden the crew's decision (even though he does say he's going to ask their permission; it DOES feel weird we don't see that). now i've said before that i think there was probably going to be a reconciliation between ed & lucius, and by extension the crew as a whole, in the lupete wedding verision of 2x06, and i still think that. but regardless of whether i'm right or wrong about that. even without a reconciliation, this would seem like WAY less of a problem if the crew hadn't voted ed of the ship.

as it is, we have THREE scenes devoted to the idea that the crew as a whole (not just lucius & izzy, who both have more complicated individual relationships with ed) are uncomfortable with ed's presence on the ship - there's the initial one where stede's holding the meat on his face where they're all yelling at him, and then there's the actual walk of shame where they've just voted him off, and THEN there's the youtube apology scene where they're heckling him and stuff. and having three separate scenes like that makes it feel like the narrative is really hammering in this idea of a big dramatic rupture in the whole crew's relationship with ed. but only the last of those scenes was originally supposed to be there! the first two were just thrown into the plot to justify why ed ends up wandering around an island to run into anne & mary! if you only had the youtube apology scene, it would be much more clear that most of the crew weren't really all that mad - as it is, roach and jim explicitly saying they aren't mad feels like it's overshadowed by the weight of the earlier scenes.

(also a minor issue, but i've mentioned before that surprisingly often people think the vote was unanimous. this doesn't actually make sense in terms of the episode, because we know it was deadlocked and izzy cast the tiebreaker. but it is sort of weird, if the idea is that the crew is split on this, that we never get any sign of who voted which way; there's nobody but stede who is clearly presented as specifically not wanting ed to be exiled. which DOES end up making it feel like it's the crew as a unanimous block that wants him off the ship. but that makes sense if the whole concept of the crew wanting him exiled was sort of hastily written to patch a plot hole instead of being a fully developed idea.)

anyway. like i said i can't really complain about this as a pacing decision. but it is really interesting to me how many knock-on problems with the whole arc of the season were created by the change, and how much cleaner the original idea sounds like it would have been.