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natsaffection · 2 years ago

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I hate you! | part 4 | N. Romanoff

Avenger!Natasha x Younger!Recruit!Reader

Summary: Your past has been revealed.

warnings: violence, panic attacks, flashbacks, angst, angst, more angst

Word count: 6,3k

A:N: Here it isss, it’s a lot and I hope it makes sense :,)

Fury didn't know how you found out about the existence of the others.

He knew that this information was secret, but now you're standing in front of him, slamming it against his head.

Natasha, Steve and the others were equally surprised by your sudden revelation.

But Fury's stern expression did not waver. "You've said enough. This is a matter for which you have no authorization." You clenched your fists in frustration. "Oh, I don't have clearance? So what's your plan, Fury? Keep us all in the dark like you did with me? Like you're still doing to me? You say it's about trust, but you're the one who can't be trusted."

Natasha stepped closer to you and tried to mediate the situation. "Y/n, maybe this isn't the time or place to discuss this."

You gave her a look. "Whose side are you on?"

Fury nodded. "That will be addressed, but not here and not now. Let's deal with the present situation instead. We have a national incident to resolve that you helped cause!"You hesitate, but knew that Fury would not reveal more at that moment. He was a master at keeping secrets.

You storm off in a huff, and the tension in the air was palpable. Despite your anger, you understand that the mission comes first. For the moment, you had to put your personal search for answers on hold.

A few hours passed, and then, as if the turbulent ones couldn't get any worse, Natasha entered the room. Your eyes immediately drifted to her, and you could see that Natasha had an uncertain look in her eyes. "I have absolutely no nerve right now for-"

"There's something you need to know," Natasha finally began in a worried and serious voice.

You braced yourself for the news to come, but when Natasha said, "Ross is here," your heart sank. Ross, the man who had been behind this one mission. The one who had given Nick Fury the mission to get you out as the only one and leave the others to rot. The name Ross carried a weight of anger, frustration, and fear that you couldn't shake.

Shock was written all over your face, your jaw, and your fists clenched again. Natasha knew she had to tread carefully. "I know how you feel about Ross, Y/n, but we need to keep our cool on this one. If he's here, the shit is really going to hit the fan." Your frustration boiled over. "Natasha..." Sighing, Natasha took a step closer, a hint of desperation in her eyes, but also determination. "I'm trying to protect you and keep our team together. We need to approach this situation with caution."

You look away, unable to return Natasha's gaze. Your hands shook, evidence of the storm of emotions raging inside you. "I can't just sit there and listen to him and pretend everything is okay! Because it’s definitely not!“ Natasha reached out, but pulled her hand back toward her. "I'm not asking you to pretend, but I am asking you to consider the consequences.. If we want to make a difference, we need to be strategic."

You sigh, the inner turmoil was evident in your eyes. "I don't know if I can do this..."

Natasha's expression softened. She understood the depth of your pain. "I know it's not easy. But I believe in you. And we're here to support you no matter what." Taking a deep breath, you nodded, "All right. But if he pushes my buttons, I can't guarantee I'll stay calm."

Natasha gave you a small, supportive smile. "We'll get through it together. We're a team, remember?"

You found it a bit ironic that she suddenly brought out the team player...but before you start anything again, you simply agreed.

As you and Natasha entered the conference room, it was clear that the atmosphere was tense. The presence of Rhodey, steve and the others added to the seriousness of the situation. The room was almost palpable. And Him..His speech made you nervous from the start. You really tried everything, but you just couldn't hide your anger

„You had left us behind!“

„They lied to you..and-“

"And what would you say, secretary ?“ You didn't quite know where you were about now, but the question pulled you out of your thoughts.

Ross paused for a moment, "how about..dangerous?" and looked at you.

Then something inside you snapped, and you lunged at him, your anger overpowering your mind. The room erupted into chaos as your teammates rushed to hold you back, their voices a cacophony of desperate pleas and shouts.

"Y/N, STOP!" commanded Steve, struggling to hold you back. Natasha, with years of experience in controlling dicey situations, was at the forefront of the fight. It took all her strength to restrain you, and she looked you in the eyes, silently pleading with you to regain control. But the rage from you was all encompassing.

Your voice was a storm as you screamed, and tears of rage ran down your face. "You left them for dead! After all they did to us, WE WERE CHILDREN!!! A-AND YOU KNEW EVERYTHING!! AND- NOW YOUR TALKING ABOUT..CONTROLL?!“

It was a battle of voices - some trying to calm you down, others yelling at you for your sudden outburst. It takes a few seconds till Steve and the others managed to keep you somewhat in check. Your seething anger was still evident, but you didn't immediately lunge at Ross. They kept you in hold, their voices stern but full of concern.

"Y/n, please," Steve whispered, trying to get through to you. "We need to take this calmly. Attacking him isn't helping anyone!"

Natasha, Tony, and the rest of the team echoed Steve's words. They did their best to stop you from breaking out and attacking Ross again but at that moment, He whispered something with a sinister smile on his face that it cut through the air like a dagger. Your eyes widened, and your rage flared up again, hotter and more fierce than before.

As you fought back against your teammates, secretary Ross taunted you with a cruel whisper. "There you are still asking why..look at you." Natasha's eyes stared at Ross in horror, but she couldn't reach him in time to silence him. Your struggle intensified, and your voice became a cry of rage, ready to break free.

It was Steve who suddenly yelled at Ross with the force of his authority and an unprecedented fury. "Just shut up! Please!“

Ross took a step back, stunned by the force of Steve's command. There was a silence in the room again, and your anger was suppressed but smoldering on. The team held their breath, and Natasha managed to calm you down, trying to get you back under control. "Y/N, he's not worth it." Your breathing was heavy, your anger still flowing through your veins like wildfire. But finally you conceded, defeat and the voice of reason slowly gained the upper hand over your rage.

Steve kept a watchful eye on Ross, making sure he remained calm. With a sense of urgency, he signaled the team to escort you out of the room. It was clear that the day had just taken a dark turn, and there was no room for further chaos.

When they returned, there was an uncomfortable silence in the room. You, on the other hand, were breathing heavily and were led out of the room by Natasha into a quiet corridor. "Y/n, you need to calm down!!!" began Natasha, her voice a mixture of sternness and concern.

But you weren't in the mood for admonishment. "Calm down?" you retorted, your eyes blazing with anger. "He's in there like nothing ever happened, and you want me to calm down?!"

An argument that had been simmering for months now wouldn't let you suppress it. You were angry, hurt, and felt betrayed. Your voice trembled with emotion as you spoke, "I just don't understand why you suddenly care, you ignored me for months! We were a team, and you shut me out like I meant nothing to you! And now, all of a sudden, you want to help me? Why?"

Natasha looked at you, her expression a mixture of guilt and despair. "Y/n, I'm sorry for what I did. I... was scared, okay? You reminded me so much of me, I was afraid you would come out of the red room too, I..I'm sorry.."

Tears filled your eyes, not just from anger, but from sheer frustration at the whole thing. "You could have talked to me! I kept trying, but you gave me clear signs that you didn't want to!"

Natasha took a step closer, "I understand how much pain I caused you- I was selfish, and I can't tell you enough how sorry I am! Please tell me what I can do to fix this.."

You feel the anger dissipate, leaving a feeling of helplessness. "I just want to have a normal life..."

Natasha sighed. She had read everything you had been through and felt so bad, "if you let me, I want to help you with that. We'll find a way to end all of this. Us as a team."

You hesitate. But before you say anything wrong, you just turn your back on her and disappear.

. . . . . .

You were sitting in your room, still overwhelmed by the situation. Natasha had gone back into the meeting and left you alone for now. The room felt cramped, and you couldn't shake the unease that had settled in your chest.

Minutes turned into hours as you struggled with your inner turmoil. Signing the Sokovia agreement meant giving up a level of autonomy you had never been comfortable with. You remember the days when Alexandra still gave orders and the lack of control over your own life. Now the thought of having the government dictate your actions, even if it was in the name of accountability, sent a shiver down your spine.

The soft knock on the door diverted your attention, and Natasha entered the room, "Can I sit down?" she asked, and when you nodded, she took a seat next to you and, without preamble, began to explain the outcome of the meeting.

"Steve didn't sign the agreement, so did Wanda and Sam...they believe it threatens our autonomy."

You nod, your heart beating in different directions. You understand Steve's unwavering commitment to individual freedom, but there was still a lot at stake. You had just settled back in, and now you're supposed to start it all over again? You look at Natasha with a mixture of confusion and fear. "What do you want me to do, Natasha? I don't know how to feel about this..."

Natasha's eyes widen. She didn't expect you to talk to her about it "I think we should consider signing, but only if the terms are reasonable and protect our freedom. If we work within the system, we can change it. I'm going to Vienna to discuss the agreement. You can come with me if you want.."

You hesitate, "I need time to think about it. I'm afraid to give up control...again."

Natasha reached out and gently grasped your hand, her touch was warm and reassuring. "Y/n, it's okay to be scared. It makes you human. It's not an easy decision, and it's not just about you. It's about all of us. We're not alone in this."

In the end, you decided to come along. Maybe you can still discuss something out. Natasha’s idea was to fly out the night before so that you could rest your heads. But that didn't work out quite as expected. At the hotel, the weight of the impending agreement was heavy in the air. You had always been a master at hiding your feelings, but Natasha had learned to read you like an open book. She could sense that something else was bothering you, something that went beyond the upcoming mission.

You sat facing each other, and the silence stretched like an unspoken abyss. Finally, Natasha broke it. "You don't have to talk about it if you're not ready. But I'm here if you want to tell me."

You hesitate for a moment, your eyes staring at the carpeted floor.

"It's just... it's not something I like to talk about, you know." Natasha sees you slowly stroking your stomach and remembers the scars she saw on you.

"I get it, I really do. I have my own scars."

Her voice carried the weight of a shared history, a history neither of you ever wanted. You take a deep breath,

"That man today..in sokovia I mean, I don't know how to say it, but I justify what I did, but, " Natasha continued to look at you as you let the thought back into your head, "I thought it would bring some peace in me to get my hands on one of those.. people for once." You play with your fingers and Natasha sits closer to you, "I had once had the chance to kill the person responsible for everything in my past and believe me when I tell you it was slow and painful, but in the end he was just another number on my conscience."

You look at her, feeling again that feeling when you found out Natasha lived through something similar to what you did, and it felt good to have someone who knows how it feels.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that Y/n. You didn’t deserve this, none of you did."

You look up at Natasha, tears glistening in your eyes. "that's why I can't quite trust these agreements. The idea of governments having control over people like us..that's just too close to what I've already experienced."

Natasha grabbed your hand. "I understand your fear. But not all governments are like you used to know. We need accountability to prevent abuse of power. And hey, if it doesn't work we'll just run away.“

you had to smile a little at the statement, “run away? where?" Natasha comes over to hear you say it in a somewhat laughing voice and is happy that she brought some cheer, "I don't know. their somewhere far, far away, where no one bothers us with it. We could start a new life...without pressure from outside.“

A faint smile worked its way onto your lips. "Nat, it's not often you talk about these things, you know. You usually keep everything under wraps."

Natasha sighed, her gaze wandering to the dark window. "I've learned to open up more, thanks to you. You've shown me the importance of not hiding from what we've done. We can't change what happened, but we can shape our future."

Then suddenly your facial expression changed again. Your eyes became blurry, and your breathing quickened.

Unbeknownst to you, you were experiencing a vivid flashback to the horrific moments of the lab. Tears welled up in your eyes, and you let them fall.

Natasha recognized the signs immediately. She gently grasped your trembling hand. In a soothing tone, Natasha whispered, "Y/N, it's all right. You are here with me now. You're safe."

Your voice trembled as she spoke, "I ... I can't ... I can't control it, It's like I'm back there, and it hurts. It's just- what’s going on with me right now??"

Natasha continued to hold your hand, offering unwavering support. "I know, sweetheart. Just breathe. Focus on the sound of my voice. You're not alone, and you're not there anymore. You are here with me, and we will get through this together." You close your eyes and try to breathe slowly and deeply as you follow Nat's instructions. Gradually, your racing heartbeat slowed, and the intense emotions that had overwhelmed you began to subside.

As your breathing stabilized, Natasha wiped away your tears with a gentle touch. "You are so strong, Y/n. You've been through unimaginable horrors, but you're still here. I'm proud of you, and I'm here to help you heal."

You open your eyes and her gaze met Natasha's. Gratitude filled your teary eyes. "Thank you for being here..." Natasha smiled warmly, „let's try to get some sleep. Tomorrow is a new day, and we will face it together." You moved under the covers and got yourself into a more comfortable position. With Natasha by your side, you feel safer than you have in a long time.

Natasha turned off the bedside lamp and settled down next to you, pulling the blanket up to your shoulders. You couldn't help but feel a sense of warmth and security as Natasha's arm was gently draped over you.

The atmosphere in the conference room was tense. Diplomats and representatives of various nations were gathered to discuss the Sokovia agreements.

As the debate continued, you couldn't help but scan the room for potential threats. Years of training had instilled in you the need for vigilance.

Natasha noticed your concentration and placed a reassuring hand on your thigh, which was hidden under the table.

"Relax," Natasha whispered. You nodded, but the discomfort was still in your eyes. You knew what was at stake in this conference, and despite the rocky history between you and Natasha, you had no intention of anything happening to the Black Widow.

The debate was getting heated, the voices were getting louder. However, just as you were gaining a semblance of control, you hear a sudden scream, „EVERYBODY GET DOWN!“ A sudden explosion shook the building. Acting instinctively, you shoved Natasha to the ground and covered her with your own body.

"Y/N!" screamed Natasha, the shock in her voice clear as the room fell with smoke and debris.

As the dust began to settle, Natasha's gaze lingered on you, and the relief that overcame her was palpable. "Are you okay?" asked Natasha, her voice trembling with concern.

You slowly force yourself into a sitting position, wincing at the pain in your side. You grit your teeth and try to ignore the stabbing pain. You had taken the brunt of the blast, and a piece of wood from the protest was now lodged in your side. "I'm fine," you moan through the pain. It was a half-truth.

Your vision blurred, and you knew you couldn't keep up the facade for long. Natasha looked around and when she turned to you, her face dropped, "You idiot!!!"

Your eyes flickered, struggling to focus on Natasha's face. "I-I've been through worse," you muttered, your voice a mere whisper. Natasha's green eyes bored into yours, and she refused to accept the half-hearted appeasement. "Don’t do that. You're hurt, and you need help! There's no shame in showing weakness, especially not now!"

The pain was relentless, and you felt your body weaken. It was hard to hide the fear that crept into your eyes. You know you're fighting a losing battle.

"It's all right. I've got you."

The pain was relentless, and you realize that maybe, just maybe, it was time to let your guard down. You sigh, and your gaze lingered on Natasha. Tears well up in your eyes, a mixture of pain, exhaustion, and a flood of emotions you've had to suppress for years.

"I think it looks bad..." you whisper.

Natasha moved closer and pressed on the wound, "stay with me Y/n!" she said in a panic. "Help is on the way, you hear me? Stay awake!"

You remained snuggled together amidst the chaos as the sound of sirens drew closer. Your breaths became shallower, and you whispered. "I-I'm scared, Natasha.." Tears welled up in Natasha's eyes as she watched your strength fade. "I know..but I’m here." she said softly, her voice full of emotion. "I'm here with you."

You try to hold on, but the world around you blurs more and more. The last thing you see was Natasha's crying eyes before the darkness caught up with you and you passed out.

In a panic, Natasha called for help, her voice filled with desperation. She clung to your hand as paramedics finally arrived, rushing to get you the help you desperately needed.

In the ensuing chaos, Natasha's heart raced as she watched the paramedics try to stabilize you.

And then it hit her. Her eyes widened with a mixture of shock and realization. She had never felt such deep, intense concern for anyone before, much less in the midst of a chaotic situation like this.

In the past, Natasha had prided herself on being a hardened, emotionless agent who buried her feelings deep inside because she believed she could no longer care about anyone. Love was an abstract concept she didn't think she could ever truly understand or embrace.

But when she saw your state, Natasha's heart raced and her thoughts became a whirlwind. The thought of love, something she had avoided for so long, suddenly seemed not only possible, but undeniable. She felt something for you that was deeper than anything she had ever experienced.

A series of emotions and questions filled Natasha's mind. She wondered if this was love. What did love really mean? Was it the feeling that made her so protective of you at that bad moment? Her desire for you to recover and get better was a force she couldn't ignore.

While the paramedics continued their work, Natasha continued to struggle inside. She had always been the fierce, unyielding Black Widow, but the presence of you had triggered something completely new and unexpected in her. It was as if a part of her was awakening after years of sleep.

In the midst of chaos and uncertainty, Natasha had come to terms with her feelings. And when she realized it, she couldn't help but wonder if love had finally caught up with her in the most unexpected way - through you

As the paramedics managed to stabilize you and prepare for transport, Natasha clung to your hand, her grip firm but tender. She looked at you with a mixture of determination and vulnerability.

"You're going to be okay, Y/n" she whispered, her voice filled with emotion. "I won't let anything happen to you." The paramedics carefully lifted you onto a stretcher, and Natasha walked alongside them as they rushed you to the waiting ambulance.

The journey to the hospital felt like an eternity, but Natasha remained by your side, never letting go of your hand. She kept talking to you, reassuring you that you were going to make it through.

When you finally arrived at the hospital, Natasha refused to leave your side. She watched as the medical team rushed you into the emergency room, her heart pounding in her chest. She was no longer just the Black Widow; she was a woman who had found love in the midst of chaos.

The hours that followed were filled with uncertainty and anxiety. Natasha stayed at the hospital, pacing the waiting room, her thoughts consumed by you.

She paced the sterile hallway, her face etched with concern, replaying the chaotic events in her mind. Natasha had never been so terrified of losing someone as she was now. She blamed herself for not being able to protect you from the blast, for not sensing the danger sooner. As she walked back and forth, a familiar figure approached from the other end of the corridor.

Maria.

When Maria saw Natasha, her expression shifted from relief to trepidation. Her presence only added to the mounting tension. Natasha had known Maria for years, and they had shared countless missions and secrets. But this time, Natasha's usual composure wavered.

"Natasha,“ Maria said cautiously as she drew closer, "I heard what happened, and I needed to come. How is she?”

Natasha turned to face her, her green eyes simmering with anger. "You needed to come? Do you know what you've done, Maria?" Her tone was sharp, laced with accusation.

Maria's face paled as she braced herself for Natasha's outburst. "I know what you're thinking, but we had no choice.."

"Do you even know what she went through, what she's been carrying with her for the past few days?!“ Maria winced at the harsh truth in Natasha's words. "I was only following orders," Maria stammered, trying to justify her actions.

Natasha's anger flared even more. "Orders? You think orders absolve you of responsibility? You left her alone!”

The exchange between Natasha and Maria attracted the attention of a few passing hospital staff, who kept a respectful distance. Maria felt a swell of regret and guilt as she struggled to maintain her composure. She had made the choices she believed were necessary to keep you safe, but they had left you in tears.

"I wish there had been another way."

Tears welled up in Natasha's eyes as she confronted her, "Do you think that matters to her right now? Do you think it eases her pain?"

"I don't know, Natasha!" Maria admitted. "I don't know how to make it right, okay?”

The weight of the situation was overwhelming, and both women were filled with frustration. As they argued, a nurse approached, offering some news about your condition. Natasha's anger subsided as she listened to the updates. You were stable but still unconscious, and the doctor was optimistic about your state.

"Natasha, I understand that I made a terrible mistake, one I can't change," Maria confessed, her eyes filled with regret. Natashas stern expression slightly softened, listened to Maria's plea. She too understood now the severity of your situation and the lasting effects of the horrors you’d endured in the lab.

"I promise I'll be silence, but please let me be there when she wakes up. She'll be terrified if she sees strangers, and we can't let her relive that trauma," Maria pleaded, her voice trembling.

Natasha took a deep breath, torn between her concern for you and her doubts about allowing Maria to be there for you. Maria's words had a ring of sincerity that Natasha couldn't ignore.

Hours passed and a days passed when you slowly stirred, your eyelids heavy as you gradually became aware of your surroundings. The sterile scent of the hospital room mingled with the soft hum of machinery.

Panic began to creep in as you noticed the IV line and the beeping monitors attached to you. Your heart raced, and you tried to sit up but was quickly restrained by the devices keeping you in place.

"N-No! Get them off! Get t-them off!" You cried, your voice trembling with fear. You tugged at the IV line and the wrist restraints, the flashbacks from your time in the lab flooding your mind. The sensation of being bound and prodded by was unbearable.

Maria and Natasha, who had been sitting nearby, were by you’re side in an instant. Natasha tried to speak soothingly, "Y/N, you're safe. You're in a hospital. These are just precautionary measures!“

But you were beyond hearing those words. Your eyes darted wildly around the room, the memories of your past trauma overshadowing the present.

"No! Please, don't hurt me!" You pleaded, your voice breaking.

Maria's heart ached as she saw the agony in your eyes. She understood the depths of your suffering more than anyone else in the room. "Y/n, it’s Maria, it's okay. You're not alone. You're safe!" she said gently, reaching to touch your hand. Your breaths were coming in rapid gasps, and you were on the verge of a full-blown panic attack. Natasha and Maria exchanged a worried look.

Natasha leaned in closer, her tone unwavering. "Y/N, focus on my voice. Take slow, deep breaths. You're not in that place anymore. You're with us, and we won't let anything happen to you."

Tears streamed down your face as you struggled to control your breathing. The images of your past began to fade, and slowly, you registered Natasha and Maria by your side. The harsh reality of the hospital room softened, and you realized that you was indeed in a different place.

Maria continued to hold your hand, offering a reassuring presence. "That's it, you're doing great!"

Bit by bit, your racing heart began to slow, and your grip on the IV line relaxed. Natasha and Maria maintained a gentle, supportive presence, offering words of comfort and security.

As the minutes passed, your breathing steadied, and your eyes started to regain focus. The panic that had overtaken you was slowly subsiding, but you remained fragile.

When you saw Maria, the betrayal ran deep. Her eyes met yours and you couldn't contain the fury that welled up inside you. The fact that Maria had known everything from the beginning had left a bitter taste in your mouth, and your anger simmered just beneath the surface.

Maria saw the fury in your eyes and understood the depth of her betrayal. Without a word, she rose from her seat and began to walk towards the door, and Natasha whispers a -Thank you for helping- before Maria leaves the room.

Your body ached with every movement, and the stark, sterile scent of the hospital room hit your senses. Memories of the explosion rushed back. Struggling to sit up, you noticed the bandages on your side and felt the dull throb of pain. Your wide eyes darted around the room, searching for answers, but what you saw next sent a shock of fear coursing through you.

Natasha, was there, but she appeared hurt, with a few bruises in her face. Your chest tightened with dread. "Natasha, what happened? Are you okay?"

Hours passed and Natasha told you everything that had happened since you were out. You had to work hard to understand everything that happened. The Winter Soldier is back, but is now called Bucky? And Steve had been his friend for years and now they're on the run together? great. The Avengers? Ripping each other apart. Even more awesome.

Everything in one, just falls apart.

As you watch the news in the hospital room, the announcement of the upcoming battle at the airport weighed heavily on you. You're part of the Avengers now, a family of sorts, and the prospect of fighting your own friends tore you apart.

"Y/n," Natasha began, "I know this is a lot to process. But I have to go. I need to try and prevent more damage within the team." Her eyes were filled with a mix of determination and sadness. You’ll let her go, to think all of it through. And a decision was taken.

You won't sign it.

You had fought too hard for your freedom, and you couldn't put that on the line again now. You were aware that you would be messing with some of your friends, but you didn't care at the moment. So with your decision, you left the hospital.

When you arrived at the airport, pure chaos had broken out. Some plane parts lay destroyed on the ground, everything was in smoke and everyone was dealing with themselves,

"Y/n, what are you doing here?" asked Natasha with concern. "You're still hurt. You should rest!"

Your eyes met Natasha's and she knew immediately something was wrong, "I can't just stand by, Nat. I have to make my own decisions."

Natasha's heart sank as she locked eyes with you. There was no denying it anymore; you made a choice. Her steps were cautious as she approached you, concern evident in her voice. "Y/n, you shouldn't be here.”

Your expression remained resolute, though your eyes reflected inner turmoil. "I appreciate your concern, Natasha, but I've made my choice. I can't sign the Accords. I'm standing up for what I believe is right and so should you. I can't just follow orders blindly."

Natasha was about to say something when Tony interrupted, "This has gone on long enough. I'll make sure it ends.“ He landed right in front of you, "Sorry, Y/n, but I can't let this continue."

"If you think that's going to work, you're mistaken, Tony and I’m not here to fight.”

Tony tries to stay calm, he knew he wouldn't have a chance against you, “I’m just!-“ He takes a breath, “Im trying to keep the avengers together..”

“But you didn't contribute much to it.” you keep your expression straight and you notice how it's starting to get on Tony's nerves. You had done what you were here for and looked at Natasha for a moment. Then you turned around and wanted to leave, but Tony had other plans. He pointed a gauntleted finger at you. "Stand down, Y/n. This is your last warning."

Your expression was a mixture of defiance and uncertainty. You knew the repercussions of your choice but believed you was fighting for what was right. You adopted a defensive stance, keenly aware of your physical limitations in the face of Tony's advanced technology.

Tony wasted no time; his repulsors fired with precision. You expertly evaded his blasts. Natasha, also sprang into action. She darted between you both, trying to intercept the fight. Her attempts to restrain you and calm Tony went unnoticed as they both pressed on.

"Both of you, stop! This isn't the way! Y/n, you don't have to do this. Tony, please, let's find another solution!" But the combatants seemed deaf to her pleas.

As the battle reached its peak, Steve, realizing the futility of the conflict, made his move. He dashed towards you and Tony, his shield raised. You staggered back from a repulsor blast, momentarily stunned. Natasha seized the opportunity to physically intervene, wedging herself between the two of you, arms outstretched to keep them apart. Her voice was tinged with urgency. "Enough!! This is ridiculous!"

You and Tony exchanged heated glances, still panting from the fight. Tony took a step back, his face obscured by the visor. He deactivated his repulsors, lowering his guard, and looked at Natasha with an inquisitive tone.

"Natasha, whose side are you on now?" He had expected Natasha to back him up. Her efforts to defuse the situation and her willingness to stop their fight had left him questioning her allegiance. Natasha's expression remained stoic, though concern shone in her eyes. She had always been a master of hiding her emotions, but the truth couldn't stay concealed any longer. She hesitated for a moment before speaking.

"I'm on the side of reason, Tony," she replied, her voice calm but resolute. "I'm here to prevent a fight that we can't afford.“

Steve, standing nearby with his shield at the ready, watched the exchange closely. He knew Natasha's intentions were to keep the peace, even if it meant going against his own stance.

As you saw Tony struggling to regain control of his emotions, you seized the opportunity. You lunged at him, delivering a precise blow to his chest plate. It created a temporary vulnerability, granting a brief respite. Your breathing was heavy, your determination unshaken. The adrenaline coursed through your veins as you assessed the situation.

Amidst the chaos, Natasha and Steve rushed over, concern etched on their faces. They both tried to reason with you, their voices filled with urgency and care. Natasha, in particular, took a step closer but you had reached your limit. You shake your head and backed away, your voice heavy with frustration. "I can't, Natasha. I can't listen anymore. It's always someone trying to tell me what's right, what's best. But what about what I think?”

As Natasha gazed into your eyes, she saw a fire burning within you. The confrontation was escalating, but Natasha felt a need to reveal her true feelings. Her voice was strained as she confessed, "Y-You don't understand!... I love- I love you, and that's why I'm doing this!"

"What?"

Natasha took a deep breath, her resolve waning for a moment as she revealed a vulnerability she had long kept hidden. "I just... I don't want to see you get hurt. We've been through so much together, and I care about you more than I should!..“

You was taken back by Natasha's confession.

Overwhelmed by the emotional storm and the weight of her confession, you couldn't process it all at once. You knew you needed time to think, to sort out your own feelings, and to come to terms with the unexpected revelation.

Seeing Tony getting back on his feet and realizing that the battle was still raging around you, you decided to withdraw. You ran off, seeking a moment of solitude to collect your thoughts.

You needed to make sense of the chaos, both on the battlefield and within yourself. Your next decisions would be crucial, not just for your own future but for the fate of the Avengers. In the distance, the sounds of the ongoing battle echoed, but your mind was focused on the internal struggle – a conflict of emotions, loyalty.

TAGLIST: @marvelwomen-simp @natsxwife @blacklightsposts @yourmamacom @cd-4848 @kksalexa @arualdcg @screechcat @imnatobsessed @maggieromanov @mrs-johansson @fuxk182 @vivs46

#natasha x reader #natasha romanoff #natasha romanov x reader #nat x reader #dom!natasha x reader #the avengers #natasha #natasha romonova

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winterspiderpurrs · 2 years ago

Text

Bucky was sipping on a beer as he looked around the crowded room.

" So what? You went through Steve's phone and just called up and texted everyone in there? "

Sam laughed and nodded " Sure did. He had a lot of people in there and they know a lot of the same people. Peggy rented out this big venue for a wedding party since they are doing a small wedding and no reception. That way everyone can celebrate now and not get pissed about not being invited."

Bucky nodd, makes sense in the long run. Peggy and Steve were up front opening some of the presents. There was a huge pile of them. They looked so happy. A tall shadow falls next to Bucky at the bar.

" oooh! Open Bar! Peteypie! We will have a Sex on the beach and for my twink friend here he will have a Tequila Sunrise!"

" No wade! Sorry about that ma'am I'll just have a gingerale"

Turning to look at the two next to him, Bucky raises his eyebrow briefly. The tall man was heavily scarred, the younger man next to him was younger, seemed a little nervous to be here.

Bucky glances at Sam who shrugs before Bucky nods at the man next to him.

" So do you know Steve or Peggy?"

" neither!"

The man gives a wide smile.

" I'm here cause Petey Pie was invited. And I wanna get a look at who he used to fuck. For moral support reasons"

" Oh my god wade! You cannot just say that! And out people like that!"

The young man turned bright red, " Just ignore him."

He holds his hand out to shake. " I'm Peter. I'm a friend of Steve's. But I have met Peggy. Uh, after that is. When she visits the tower for her military contracts"

Bucky could hear Sam's whispered 'wow' and Bucky offers his hand to shake Peter's.

" Name is Bucky, this is Sam. " he eyes Peter. Bucky knew that several years ago, he suspected Steve was cheating on Peggy, even if it was briefly. Just wasn't expecting someone like Peter.

" I knew he was seeing a science person before. Just didn't know it was .... you" peter cleared his throat and nodded.

" It's... fine. We parted on mutual terms. We wanted different things."

The fact Steve was with someone else and that Steve hasn't told them he even was interested in guys was left out.

They sat together for a little bit, talking about how Steve met Bucky and Sam. Peter asking tons of things about Bucky's metal arm. Wade had already wondered off somewhere. Bucky could see why Steve would have been drawn to Peter.

" Oh, Steve! Have you met Peter? He works in a lab with Tony here. How Sam got your number. I'll never know! It's good to see you. It's been a while, yes?"

Bucky, Sam, and Peter turn to face Steve and Peggy and Tony Stark. Steve has a look of surprise on his face, Peggy was smiling, but even Tony looked confused.

"Wow.. Peter, it's been a while. I've met Peter before... briefly at the gym in the tower. Since you have a membership through work." Said Steve, but Steve reaches out and shakes Peter hand.

Bucky raises an eyebrow at Steve. Seriously? Steve met Peter while visiting Peggy at work. And from what it sounded like, Peter didn't know about Peggy til later. Man, Steve really took the stupid with him, didn't he.

" Pete, I thought you were going to that... event tonight, the one we talked about" said Tony.

Peter blushes, sipping his drink. " I did.. I am." Peter glances over at Steve then back to Tony, with a look that of 'please don't say anything'.

Tony tilted his head, slight frown before his eyes widen and he look at Steve, then Peggy then back at Peter.

" Wow okay. That. Something." Tony takes a sip of his drink before he walks over to Peter and wraps his arm around his waist.

" This is the Peter, I was telling you about. I'm sure you have heard all about in the papers" Steve frowns a little, eyeing the arm at Peter's waist.

" What is in the papers? " says Steve.

Peggy laughs, and lightly slaps Steve's arm.

" He never pays attention to the news. I didn't know your Peter was the same one I had met before! Congratulations! Steve, Peter and Tony got engaged a month ago"

Steve's eyes widen before they narrow, and then give Tony a once over. " Congrats"

Tony smirks up at Steve, before he turns to kiss Peter on the cheek. " We are very excited." Peter blushes.

" Round of shots for everyone!" Yelled a voice and there was loud cheering.

Breaking up the tension.

Tony gave Peter an exasperated look " You brought Wilson? Really?"

Peter laughs " He was curious! I figured it could be good entertainment plus he is good bodyguard."

Tony sighs and shakes his head as he smiles over at Peter.

Bucky and Sam look at each other. This was more entertaining then they thought this party would be.

#writing prompt #spidershield #shieldspider #peter parker x steve rogers #starker #tony stark/peter parker #tony stark x peter parker #starker prompt #winterspiderpurrs #i wanted drama

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findafight · 2 years ago

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Oh yeah, in my head Robin’s coming out swiftly derails into an argument between her and her Mom because “you would disown me, don’t even try to pretend-“

I love the idea of Steve discovering she’s a Summer of love baby and uttering the phrase (or mimicking Melissa calling her a “love child”) when he wants to to shut up.

I also like to imagine, that as exams are coming up, Steve starts coming over and doing Robin’s chores for her in an effort to maximise the time they can spend together. Robin’s parents are convinced that she has bullied him into this somehow and, while initially impressed with her, are getting sick of coming into the kitchen to see Steve trying to pretend he wasn’t washing dishes two seconds ago.

Also, I know you’re a fan of Hop adopting Steve, but hear me out; Robin’s parents occasionally stand in for Steve’s (hospital etc) and Richard amuses himself by telling people they’re Irish twins (he makes himself laugh and that’s what matters). A couple of times he refers to them as “the twins” to Melissa, but it’s when he refers to them as “my twins” in conversation with someone that knows he only has one kid he realises - they kinda have two kid now.

Alternatively, they’re eating dinner, there’s an argument and when Steve buts in at the wrong moment Melissa or Robert automatically (bc they were expecting it to be Robin who was going to argue back) snap “go to your room!”

And Steve, looking out upon, gathers his plate and his glass and without hesitating takes his dinner to eat in Robin’s room (or the guest room, is their house is big enough).

Robin’s only reaction to yell “You’re 19 you Dingus, they can’t boss you around like that anymore!”

Robin arguing with her mom that she would hav totally disowned her and Melissa going "I'd only disown you if you joined the military and committed more war crimes that normal!! and even then it's iffy!! We just wanted you to feel safe!!" while Steve (moral support for Robin) and Mr. Buckley stand off to the side.

Mr. Buckley walking in of Steve looking like he got caught with his hand in the cookie jar but he's actually vacuuming the drapes(have never been vacuumed before bc that's a rich people thing to do) is so funny. when asked why he's doing them for her if she didn't blackmail him or something he says "because if I do them when she's at school then she doesn't have to do them and we have more time to hang out 🥺" a la patrick "wait fo you to get back" star.

Listen okay. I am actually a fan of a cold war happening in Hawkins between a select group of adult who are all vying for being seen as parental figures to steve. Hop, Claudia Henderson and the Sinclairs (they're a team), and the Buckleys are all glaring at each other and inviting Steve for dinner and asking if he needs anything. they all think they have the Most Claim over the role lol. Steve is unaware of why everytime he says he's having dinner with Hop Mrs. Henderson invites him over a few days later, or that he says Mrs. Buckley showed hi how to troubleshoot a clogged or leaky sink Hop suggests they go fishing the next weekend, or why Richard Buckley offered to teach him his Nonna's tiramisu recipe when told Sue Sinclair baked date squares with him....

I don't really think steve and robin having a very sibling-like relationship but a few people half-jokingly calling them the twins is funny. like it's their Team Name. they aren't siblings but they're twins do you see this. Will and El are THEE Wonder Twins but Steve and robin are the ""wonder twins"" am i making sense.

#findaanswers #anonasaurus #steve harrington #robin buckley #robin buckley's parents #stranger things #stobin #claudia and the sinclairs are a united front on all issues #Hop is trying really hard not to say he had him first to the buckleys because that's childish #and Claudia will turn it back around on him bc she actually had him first lol.#honestly this is a minor point in RaSEPSM too. battle of wills between claudia and the buckleys for steve's affection

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dwobbitfromtheshire · 2 years ago

Text

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

Part Four

Part Five

Part Six

Part Seven

Part Eight

@estrellami-1

Version 2: Bat Baby

Today was the day of Steve’s c-section. Steve woke up early and slipped on his large night shirt before wandering outside. He fixed himself a large glass of iced water and sat outside in one of the lawn chairs. It was colder now, which Steve always used to hate. He always preferred the warmth of summer. Since he was bitten and gotten pregnant, it's been the opposite now, more so since he's been experiencing hot flashes. He now loved the way the cool air felt against his naked legs.

"Today's the day, baby girl," Steve whispered. "Are you ready? Because I don't think that I am. Can't you stay inside me forever? I promise to keep you safe. Of course, I don't really mean that. I know you need to come out. I don't think I'll ever be ready for you to face the world. Me and Daddy will do our best, but you know, we're not perfect. I hope you know how much we love you."

"I love you too, Daddy," a squeaky voice said.

Steve looked over to find Eddie peering out of the sliding glass door with a grin and a blanket over his head. Eddie came all the way, closing the door behind him before patting his way over to Steve. He pushed the other lawn up against Steve’s and plopped down. He had his own cup, but it was just filled with crushed ice. Eddie shook a handful and poured into his mouth, crunching it with his teeth.

"I don't think I'm ready either," Eddie said.

"Scared?"

"Terrified," Eddie said, pausing. "But at least we're scared together."

Steve took his free hand in his, and they watched the sun rise together. Eddie stroked his hand and began to sing. Steve grinned when he started to sing the Beatles' Yellow Submarine. It was one of his favorite Beatles songs. Steve chuckled when he got the idea. He opened his mouth and began to sing Master of Puppets. Eddie giggled with delight.

Master of puppets, I'm pulling your strings

We all live in a yellow submarine

Twisting your mind and smashing your dreams

We all live in a yellow submarine

Blinded by me, you can't see a thing

We all live in a yellow submarine

Just call my name, 'cause I'll hear you scream

We all live in a yellow submarine

Master, master

Just call my name, 'cause I'll hear you scream

Master, master

"That's a scary mashup," Eddie giggled.

"It shouldn't make sense," Steve said.

"But I love it," Eddie and Steve laughed.

"You're going to be okay, Stevie."

"I know."

When they arrived at the hospital, they were surprised to find that everyone was waiting for them there.

"Like we would miss this," Joyce said.

"As if I would miss my best friend having a baby," Robin said.

Everyone gave him supportive hugs, the moms lasting longer than anyone else. Claudia wouldn't stop crying.

"Come on, Claud," Wayne said in amusement. "Let the boy go."

"I'm going to be a Grammy," Claudia cried.

"Damn, I didn't think to bring any tissues," Sue said, sniffling.

"Oh, I got plenty in my purse," Claudia said.

"I think Max might need some of those," Mike said.

"I will push you in the quarry," Max snapped and walked over to hug Steve. "You're going to be a great dad."

As she walked back over, she flipped Mike off. She sat down in the waiting room and pulled out some knitting supplies.

"Are you knitting?" Mike asked.

"What did I just say?" Max asked.

Erica sat beside her and pulled out her own supplies.

"I'm competing with Max to see who can make the better baby blanket," Erica said.

"Did you know about this?" Mike asked Lucas.

"Yeah."

Eddie and Steve laughed as they were guided off to the operating room by Dr. Owens. Hopper and El followed behind them. El had Jonathan's old camera strapped to her neck. They were joining them in the room just in case anything happened. Although, El had insisted that she hadn't felt anything bad coming from the baby. As they prepared him, Steve laid on the table he stared up at the ceiling.

"I'm going to miss being pregnant," Steve said.

"Is it because it's made your hair look really good?" Eddie asked.

"No. . .well, not just that," Steve said. "I just - what if I turn into my dad?"

"Not possible. I haven't seen you turn into your dad with any of the kids we babysit," Eddie said. "You've been really great with the kids, and you're going to be really great with ours."

"What if she is part bat? What if she starts climbing the walls?!" Steve asked.

"Then we'll get a ladder. That was going to happen anyway. She's part of me too," Eddie said.

"We both work during the day. What if she ends up sleeping during the day and awake at night?" Steve said.

"Then we'll figure that out too," Eddie said. "We'll figure it all out together."

"You have all the answers, don't you?" Steve muttered.

"Only when it comes to you, sweetheart," Eddie replied and paused. "Do I need to get a mom?"

"I'll get Joyce. She's had a c-section," Hopper said and left the room.

Joyce came in a moment later and knelt at Steve's side.

"You a little nervous?" Joyce asked.

"A little," Steve admitted.

"I was just as scared when I was in your situation. I had no clue what was going on. My biggest fear was that they would cut into Jonathan. It's been 18 years now, and medicine has gotten somewhat better. These doctors, they know what they're doing. The doctors I had knew what they're doing, and Jonathan turned out fine," Joyce said. "But if you need me, then I'll be with you and make sure they don't hurt the baby too. That's also what El is here for. We won't let them take her, either. You've got an entire army out there prepared to do the same."

Steve looked at her with watery eyes, knowing how hard she fought for Will, and he knew she would do the same for their baby.

"Thanks," Steve croaked. "You can stay."

Joyce stood on Steve’s other side and took his hand. Eddie smiled at her, his own eyes filled with tears.

"Thank you."

It was weird not being able to feel or see what they're doing, but judging by the looks on El and Hopper's face, they saw the entire thing. Eddie could clearly see what they were doing, and he watched his face turn into a look of awe, then they all heard it. The cry. It sounded weirder than he thought it would. It sounded more like a screech than a cry. Then, the nurse was bringing her over and putting her in Eddie's arms. Eddie was sobbing.

"Oh, fuck, Steve, look at her, she's beautiful," Eddie sobbed.

He held her close to Steve’s face, and Steve started crying with Eddie. She was so perfect. Her skin was slightly gray, but they apparently weren't worried about that. Eddie leaned his forehead against Steve’s. El smiled as she took their picture.

"We're parents, Steve, we're goddamn parents," Eddie said.

A little while later, Steve laid in his hospital bed while their daughter laid against his chest. Eddie sat next to him while everyone filled the room. She wasn't wrapped up in the blanket. She preferred the cold. Steve smiled as he rubbed a hand over her back.

"Oh, look at her little wings," Dustin cooed softly, tears filling his eyes. "Oh, man. I am so not ready for this."

"Is she - is she going to have a tail?" Robin asked.

"Looks like she's going to have three," Eddie grinned.

Just above the diaper was a small cluster of bumps.

"You gonna tell us the little stinker's name?" Wayne asked.

"Alice," Steve said.

"That's my mama's name," Eddie said softly.

"I know," Steve said softly. "I know how much you loved her, and I know how much you want her to be here. In a way, she is. I also love Alice in Wonderland, so there's something in it for me, too."

Eddie cried as he kissed Steve and placed a gentle hand on Alice's back.

"Everyone," Eddie sniffled. "This is Alice Wynonna Munson. It's the closet we could get to the girl version of Wayne."

"Oh, hell," Wayne said and burst into tears.

"I thought you were going to be cool about this, honey," Claudia teased.

"They named the damned baby after me," Wayne said.

Wayne was the first to hold the baby, followed by Robin and Dustin. Steve thought for sure Robin was going to fight Wayne when he was hogging the baby. There wasn't a dry eye in the hospital room as everyone cooed and passed the baby around. Erica was the last one to hold the baby before passing her off to Steve.

"She doesn't like being warm?" Erica asked. "Our baby blankets are just going to be decorative, aren't they?"

"Yeah, sorry," Steve laughed. "Oh, I think she's hungry."

Everyone began clearing the room, offering their congratulations as they left. Steve smiled at his daughter as she suckled at his breast. It felt weird and wonderful at the same time. It was definitely strange to feel his breasts to be so swollen with milk. Eddie smiled softly as he stroked Alice's head.

"We're a family," Eddie said. "Tied together forever through her. There's no going back."

"I never want to go back," Steve said.

Eddie kissed him.

A/N: one more chapter to go!

Part Nine

#stranger things #eddie munson #stranger things s4 #joseph quinn #eddie stranger things #eddie munson lives #steve harrington #steddie #steve x eddie #steve harrington x eddie munson #steddie fanfiction

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steddieficfind · 1 year ago

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There was a fic I had been reading last year and then lost the tab before I could ever finish. I kind of remember it being long or long-ish but not if it was chaptered or not. I really think it was still a WIP at the time? But I could be wrong and it have been completed instead. I want to say it was on ao3 but it could have been tumblr (would explain losing it), but definitely not a twt thread. I can't remember the rating at all but I don't remember anything "happening" between Steddie during what parts I did get to read.

The only things I can remember in any kind of detail (bear with me here, this isn't gonna make sense until it does 😂) was that Eddie and Chrissy dated in highschool, the relationship itself wasn't necessarily GOOD for either of them but they loved each other a lot, Chrissy started dressing more like Eddie and liking his interests and they spent ALL their time together, she moved in with him and Wayne and I think Wayne didn't approve of how fast they moved or how serious they were or something, I want to say Eddie quit school to get a job to support them? Chrissy had some mental health issues throughout the relationship also, and she really wanted a baby (I think because she felt like that's what would save their relationship?) But eddie was too scared to turn out like his own dad. I think I remember something about him looking at himself in the mirror and spiraling about how he wasn't gonna be a good dad because he didnt have a good example growing up of how to be one or something. So he turned her down for a while, but she ended up ?convincing? him I think? Because he knew she wanted it so bad and to try to make her happy. They do get pregnant but maybe something happens? Chrissy ends up having an extremely depressive episode. She may have died maybe???? I cant remember what happens to her. All the stuff Eddie went through really made me feel for him, it was very sad to me.

But the POINT was lol Everything he had went through in his relationship with Chrissy effects how Eddie is with Steve, like he was really guarded or cautious? And i don't think Eddie knew he liked guys yet? Like Steve was more open to the idea than Eddie was for a while, I think.

I don't believe Steddie were together yet, or maybe had JUST barely gotten together when I lost the fic. I want to say the last scene I read was something about them being in the woods or outside walking or something (maybe the group was planning a mission?) and I think lightly flirting with each other. Or like, being pretty shy with each other during conversation or something. I could have that bit mixed up with another fic but I dont think I do.

Lately this has been REALLY itching my brain HARD to know how the boys ended up in this plot, so my whole entire kingdom for anyone who might know this even though I have practically no Steddie details at all 😂

Request 1047! Send us an ask if you recognize this fic!

#1047 #steddie #q #mod natalee

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weaving-knightmares · 2 years ago

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Thinking about this moment again......

I know people were shocked at how certain Tony was that the Avengers were going to avenge him if something happened/ rescue him the way they did in the next issue and I think that's ridiculous considering that the only time he genuinely knew help wasn't coming was when he was dying in the blizzard in Iron Man #182 and that was because he knew he pushed everyone away and, to paraphrase him, allowed his alcoholism to get as bad as it did. Normally, Tony has always had faith in his team (when written well, of course) so him expecting them to care isn't that surprising. He'd also just relived the events of the aforementioned issue in this scene and what he visualized when he woke up from that flashback was Iron Man's helmet. Remembering that he was a hero and was a part of something bigger than him is what got him back into action and he motivated by the desire to save Emma from the sentinels.

Him giving Emma his armour so she could escape is what I was actually thinking about. He called it repaying a debt and yes, she'd risked her life to save him before this happened and he never forgets a favour so that's part of it but also, Emma had no one at the time. She was so desperate that she'd resorted to making a deal with Fisk and unlike Tony, didn't have a team that would have her back. Tony knew that that was why Feilong wouldn't have killed him, not then, and that was part of why he was so sure, too. This part has actually been said in the book so it wasn't an observation, exactly.

My point is, one thing about this run that I really appreciate is that Duggan got rid of the idea that Tony has no friends or loved ones or that he was difficult to love or like and that's enabling him to write Tony the way he really is - someone who surrounds himself with good people, someone who is a part of the earth's mightiest heroes, someone heroic and kind and protective of innocent people, someone who didn't need to be lectured on how to be a hero 60 publication years into him becoming a superhero. Emma is so vulnerable right now, with most of her team, daughters, friends and loved ones gone and Tony is actually in a position to be someone she can lean on despite having troubles of his own, and I think that makes a lot of sense. I've heard talk about how he isn't taking care of himself/ needs someone to basically take over his life and I think people who think that way aren't appreciating what's really happening. The thing is, he's made so much progress in all of these years, progress that over fifteen years of Iron Man runs didn't really depict well, if they even acknowledged it, and we're finally getting to see the results of so much hard work on his part - he's on top of his recovery despite being in a position that is extremely triggering to him in multiple ways and it feels realistic. He hosted a Thanksgiving dinner (with Emma) for the others in the resistance and made a toast, he took Emma ice skating when she mentioned that she'd always wanted to do it and he's generally being emotionally supportive towards her. He also communicated his situation with Steve when him and Thor came to his rescue and I'm so glad Duggan didn't create any unnecessary conflict between them due to Tony clearly telling him why he shouldn't be seen having a support system because it would've become all everyone talked about. And now they've met multiple times and are working together, which I like. I like that Tony is working with so many Avengers in this run, too, because why wouldn't he?

The issues he's facing in this run are entirely to do with his technology being in the wrong hands on a much bigger scale than before, Rhodey being framed for murder and being in prison and until recently, in danger and figuring out how to fight back and, I don't know, I like that we aren't being bothered by unnecessary interpersonal conflicts that don't make sense for the characters or Tony's "difficult" personality being the cause of all his problems, which never made any sense for him.

#tony stark #emma frost #invincible iron man #marvel comics #I just talked about whatever don't mind me #gerry duggan

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rogersideup · 3 years ago

Text

The Senses of Steve

Sight

Series masterlist

Next: Touch

Word count: 7,933

Summary: Steve could finally see you for who you actually are, rather than who he thought you might've been.

Warning: My blog is 18+ only. All minors or blogs without an age in bio will be blocked. Minors DNI.

The first Avenger you ever met was Tony Stark, and you would never forget that moment. Your whole life led up to that very moment, that very presentation- a job interview of sorts.

Both your parents were active duty in the military since before you were even a tiny twinkle in their eye. They were teenage sweethearts. Met in high school, enlisted together, made the long distance work until they eventually we're given the same orders and managed to settle down together. They married at the ripe age of twenty one years old, had you when they we're only twenty two.

From what you could remember, having young parents was always something you viewed through rose colored glasses. You'd show up to elementary school so proud to tell everyone around you that your mom and dad were practically superheroes, sacrificing themselves on the daily to protect and serve their country.

They were amazing parents. They never pushed you into joining the military as a career for yourself, they even encouraged you to explore different options all your life. They embraced who you truly were rather than what anyone would've wanted you to be. Your love for history and the late Captain America combined with the nature of your parents made you absolutely certain that you wanted to be just like them- your three favorite superheroes.

You had a spunky creative side, proficient in English and literature with a deep love for any creative outlet you could get your hands on. Both of them loved watching how well you could adjust to a new environment and new schools every time the family was uprooted and placed onto a new base in a new state, they called you their little chameleon.

However, everything good about your childhood changed when your father passed away from a work related injury when you were 12 years old. After that, your mother was too busy at work and too stuck in her own grief to take care of you on her own, so you became self sufficient.

You were far too young to know that the responsibility of taking care of yourself and your mother shouldn't have been your weight to bare, but you did it anyways and it affected your whole life. With no one to support you, your grades slipped and you scraped through life by the skin on your teeth.

By the time you turned 18, you joined the Air Force as the only way out. It was the only choice you could see for yourself. You always knew you'd end up in the military, as a young and naïve kid you thought it could be a way to honor you dad and make him proud, and as a less young and certainly not naïve adult it was a way to spite your mother.

Your mother who couldn't even love you, your mother who couldn't even care for you or herself would have no other option than to be stuck in the same misery she trapped you in for six whole fundamental years of your life.

The Air Force ended up being good for you. For the first time in your adult life you found yourself with the very structure and support you always lacked. With time, therapy, and a whole lot of self discovery, you blossomed into what everyone loved to call you now, a diamond.

Formed under extreme amounts of pressure, you went from carbon to precious stone.

You worked your ass off every single day to prove to yourself that the years lost in your youth by playing adult didn't have to be for nothing. You so badly wanted to be better than anything that ever held you back, you used that to tightly wind yourself up and fling yourself forward like a slingshot.

And now here you are. This is where you landed.

Twenty three years old, one year older than age your father was when he welcomed you into this world, pacing back and forth in front of a heavy wooden door in the Avengers compound somewhere upstate, about to convince the greatest mind of your generation why silly little you are good enough to be his equal.

There was a very exclusive opportunity to become an Avenger. You knew you were qualified, you had been in mixed martial arts since you could take your first steps, climbed up military ranks faster than anyone has ever seen, trained with shield for three years and eventually became too skilled for them so you got bored.

However, in this moment you didn't feel like a Chameleon. If felt like you stuck out like a sore thumb in this high scale building. The unsettling feeling that stung your chest and left your mouth permanently dry no matter how much water you anxiously sipped from your water bottle made you hyper aware that you probably didn't belong here.

Knowing you were in a building full of Avengers, and any of them could pop out at any given moment made your heart feel like it was racing out of your own skin, yet somehow you could feel your pulse very slowly thumping at your fingertips.

You tried your absolute hardest to keep your nerves at bay but it didn't help that out of the ten candidates, you were the first to arrive and check in, the only woman that was presented with the opportunity to apply and who actually applied, yet the very last to be called in for a chance to make a good impression.

The door swung open and the sound of dress shoes clicking on the polished marble floors instantly had your stomach in knots.

"Ma'am" The intern with a sweet looking face caught your attention. It was almost like she could see past your brick wall of contained anxiety as she offered you a kind smile. "Mr. Stark is ready for you now."

"Thank you" You grinned back, collecting your resume and portfolio before walking past her and into the room with Tony Stark himself.

"First in, last out?" He questioned before you even fully entered the room, his eyes not leaving the holographic screen that showed your file levitating off the center of his desk. You could see if all right in front of you. Your photo and your life's works ready for harsh judgement.

"That's me." You nod in confirmation with a grin. "So nice to meet you, Mister Stark. It's an honor to even be considered."

"Tony, please, we can drop the professionalism. I always found it boring anyways. If we're going to work together we gotta get along beyond business causal. So... what's your favorite ice cream flavor?"

Although you were taken back, you were pleasantly surprised. Hesitantly sitting across from him at the desk, you place down your file and cross you legs. "Alright, Tony. I guess that makes sense. My favorite ice cream flavor is dark chocolate caramel. I'm assuming yours is Stark Raving Hazelnuts?"

"I'm a little offended that yours isn't, but I legally can't discriminate against you for that." He leaned back in his desk chair. "Dark chocolate caramel, simple yet somehow also complex." He pondered.

"Have you had a day full of chocolate chip cookie doughs?" You questioned. "Mint chocolate chips?"

"If I told you how many of the ten said vanilla you wouldn't believe me" He shrugged.

"Does vanilla have no place on the team?"

"This issue is that we already have a vanilla on the team. Almost 100 years old and the man hasn't sprouted a single gray hair yet so I think we have vanilla covered for a little while longer." He metaphorically explained. His words seeped into your skin and eased your nerves knowing that even if this went wrong, at least you weren't vanilla. "Have any pets? Hobbies?"

"Unfortunately no pets but I can bake a mean cupcake"

"What flavor?"

"Would you hate me if I said vanilla?" You joked.

"I would hate you more if you said chocolate. I've never met a chocolate cupcake I enjoyed. Seems like you just keep getting these answers right."

A small ping of confidence made a small grin tug at the corners of your lips. "You're giving me too much credit here, you've only asked two questions."

"You're right. Let's go rapid fire, answer with no explanation."

"Shoot it" You readjusted in your seat for maximum comfort.

"Do you cry over romcoms?"

"Every Friday night" you nodded.

"Give me one word to describe your time at shield"

"Uncontested" Big word, good job.

"Can you name all the Avengers?"

"Most of you, but aren't there like twenty-something of you now? I think I start getting confused around the little ant guy"

"That's okay, I do too. Favorite kind've food?"

"Any and all Asian food, and also pizza"

"What would you do if someone killed you?"

"Probably die" you raised an eyebrow.

"Cool. Welcome to the team" He said casually while pressing a button on the desk that made the hologram disappear.

"What? That's it? Don't you need to make sure I can physically keep up? Know more about my career? We didn't even talk about my ti-"

"It's fine, I already know all that. Besides, we need dark chocolate caramel on the team anyways.... trying to collect all thirty-one flavors." He stood up. "You want in?"

"I mean- yes of course I'm just so confused" You giggled in disbelief.

"You had letters of recommendation from government officials, high ranking officers, congressmen; I've seen videos of you in action. I already knew it was you before the interviews I'm just legally obligated to do them." He explained while walking through the door.

You quickly gathered your things and stood up to follow him. "What if I said my favorite ice cream flavor was rocky road?"

"I probably would've changed my mind. I only like to be surrounded by those with exquisite taste"

"Thank you so much, Tony. Really, this means the world to me."

"Save those happy tears for later, I gotta run. We'll get your room ready for you to move in on Monday. Maybe meet the team today? I dunno walk around for a bit and see who you can find. I'll have someone get in contact for the less fun stuff. Have fun, there's snacks on every floor"

Tony raced ahead and was immediately lost through a set of more heavy wooden doors. It was only when you were alone in the corridors when you allowed yourself to stop and take a deep breath, maybe even crack a quick smile and mentally celebrate before continuing to walk through the compound again.

Although this has been your dream since being a little kid, you couldn't help but to feel consumed by grief. If your dad was still alive, you'd call him before even taking another step forward. He would tell you that he was proud of his little chameleon for always making it work, he'd reinforce the superhero sentiment, encourage you to save as many lives as you can.

Your mom was alive but she might as well have been dead to you at that point. She wouldn't care. It would fuel her resentment towards you, as you got to thrive while you left your poor Mother all alone.

As you walked through yet another doorway, your thoughts were immediately hauled by a body slamming into yours.

Your files dropped all over the floor, each individual paper flew out and scattered the surrounding area. You idiot! Too deep in your own thoughts to watch where you were going. "Oh my gosh, I'm so sorr-"

A group of men, all in uniform, none of them stopping.

That's when you realized.

You didn't run into them, they ran into you. They didn't care. They all laughed and continued conversation while stepping all over the portfolio and resume you spent days on. It was like you were invisible and no one even saw you standing there.

You didn't allow yourself time to think about it too hard before dropping to your knees to pick up your haphazard paper tornado, because if you thought any harder about it each of those men would get a knee to the nuts.

You ignored the sound of a door opening and closing again, the heavy footsteps toward you meant nothing as long as you didn't look up.

"Hey, I saw that happening from my office and I'm so sorry, I'm going to talk to them about it tomorrow." The voice frantically apologized before squatting down to help pick up the papers.

"It's alright, not that big of a deal" You played it cool, trying to remain composed despite the universes' attempt to keep you humble.

"It kind've is that big of a deal." He denied, scooping up papers in his big hands. "Even I know it's time to move past the 40s" he grumbled under his breath.

That statement made you freeze in place. Now, you already knew who was in front of you, but when you finally looked up to confirm your suspicions, the previous grief hit you even harder than before.

Captain America, your childhood hero right in front of you.

Obviously, you knew this was coming very soon, but not this soon. Not when you were struggling to keep your emotions at bay while you're whole career typed out was scattered across the floor.

Little did you know that as an adult, out of the three heroes you had in life, Steve Rogers would be the only one present during such a monumental achievement.

Once again, you couldn't call your dad to tell him that he would never believe what just happened.

Honestly, you almost couldn't believe it either. Because now that unsettled energy, stinging in your chest, and your pulse thumping at your fingertips was coming back, you could only hope he wouldn't notice.

"I-" you started speaking back to him to break the awkward silence before you even realized you didn't know what to say. "It's not that...Yeah. Thank you."

You tapped the stack of papers in your hands against the floor to get all the edges lined up before he handed you the papers in his hands.

"Air Force, huh?" He referred to the bold writing on the top page that was previously in his hands.

"Five years" You politely nodded. "Moved onto shield, now I'm here."

"Here as in...?" He raised an eyebrow and stood up to his full height as you finished shoving stacks back into files.

"Oh! Right... sorry." You stood up and shoved the files between your chest and left arm, extending your right hand to shake his. "I'm YN, I was actually just hired onto the team about three minutes ago."

"And this was your welcome?!" His eyes practically bulged out of his head. "Let me guess, Tony ran off saying he was busy after giving you little to no instruction on what's next"

"Bingo" You nodded, trying to remain polite while also hoping this interaction would end soon so you could cry alone in the peace of your own car.

"Sorry about that." He shook his head in obvious disapproval. "Steve by the way. I promise the compound isn't usually this chaotic or rude."

"Leave it to me to attract the chaos" You grinned, overly self conscious in his presence.

"Well, once everyone knows you're an avenger they'll start clearing the halls for you."

"Oh is that what it takes to get some respect around here?" You playfully pushed while silently praying the tears pooling in your lower lash line weren't visible.

"Unfortunately a lot of the people here have egos beyond their means, but again, I'll take care of those guys and bring them down to very humble roots" His smile that was stretching from ear to ear dropped to a reassuring and polite grin when he noticed the pending emotion in your eyes.

Steve almost felt nervous around you. His palms were sweaty and his heart was racing- it was only when he got a good look at your watery eyes did he notice the extent of how strikingly beautiful you were.

"Are you alright?" He questioned, eyebrows furrowed in concern.

"Yeah" you uncomfortably chuckle before carefully rubbing your eyes while trying not to ruin your makeup. "Sorry. It just took a lot to get here and it's a lot to take in, then the papers, and... yeah... this is the worst first impression ever."

That was only half of it. You couldn't look him in the eye and tell a complete stranger that you were trying not to cry because you had no one you could tell the good news to, no one to tell you that they were proud. No one that counted, that is.

Another odd realization, he meant a lot to you, and you were just his weird new coworker.

"I get it" He empathized sweetly. "Well if it makes you feel any better I certainly didn't get a bad impression"

"Thank you" you recollected yourself with a deep breath.

"Well since Tony didn't give you much to work with, let me just..." he pat all 4 pockets of his jeans before realizing what he was looking for wasn't there. "Hold on, stay right there"

He fast walked down the hall and into the door he just came out of, before popping back out not even a full 10 seconds later.

"Here's all my contact information" He handed you a small card, his phone number and email was printed in a fancy font onto some beautiful, high quality paper. "Call me or text me whenever you want. Especially if you have any questions or anything"

"Thank you so much" Your heart beamed. Steve Rogers phone number? You didn't deserve it. "Here, take mine too!" You opened up a file and ripped your contact information out of the top corner of your resume since you obviously didn't even need it anymore. "Not quite as fancy as yours"

"Hey, it gets the job done" He shrugged. "I'd offer to show you around but I understand you probably need some time to process. Want to stop by sometime this week? I can introduce you to whoever's around and let you get a hold on the ropes before Tony throws you into the lions den."

"That sounds amazing" You took him up on his offer.

"Great, I'll text you later." He flashed a goofy lopsided smile. "Or you can text me. Doesn't really matter."

"It was an honor to meet you, Steve." His first name felt informal and undermining on your tongue, but you knew a formal title probably wasn't in your best interest as you tried to convince yourself that you were an equal to any of the Avengers.

"The honor was all mine"

You raced back to your car in a hurry and started calculating all the ways you celebrate your successfully day regardless of the circumstances. Maybe you'll stop for coffee before packing your things into boxes, maybe take out and a bottle of wine for dinner?

A huge wave of relief washed over you now that you no longer had to hide your emotions, but the tears never fell until three minutes into your Google search for coffee shops in the area when you were disrupted and thrown in an emotional loop by one silly text from an unknown number.

'Hey, this is Steve! I forgot to say congratulations! Always happy to have another person on the team :)'

That was exactly when you lost it. A sob escaped your lips and tears fell down your cheeks as you surrendered all emotional control. The elixir of excitement, pride, grief and resentment was all too much.

After an hour allowance, you snapped yourself out of your feelings with an iced coffee in hand while packing your one bedroom apartment away into cardboard boxes.

Somehow, someway, before you even got home, Tony had paid out the rest of your lease and the fee to break the year long contract.

It felt like you were moved into the compound in a blink of an eye. Your room was sandwiched between Steve Rogers and Natasha Romanoff, and right across the hall from Sam Wilson which you felt unworthy of by all means.

The first few days were interesting to say the least. It was the first time in your whole life you struggled to integrate yourself into an established environment. The hours and hours of paperwork, physically strenuous agility, strength and stamina tests were isolating. Not to mention the 3 days of medical examinations to make sure you were in tip-top shape. It had felt like every inch of your body had been poked and prodded.

You couldn't really join in on team dinners or fun activities during the day, there was no time to stop and talk to anyone, and by the time you got back to your room at night, you were too exhausted to even commit to a conversation with anyone about anything.

Besides, these people had bonded for years under circumstances you couldn't even imagine yet. You could barely work your way into conversation when you had a chance, so you sat and listened, desperate to learn the dynamic.

You didn't want to come on too strong, but you also didn't want to come off too small. It was a difficult balance, and your brain decided to shut down at any opportunity you had to assert yourself.

As much as you hated to admit it, you could barely even look Steve in the eye. You couldn't get yourself to work past the the grief over such a sacred part of your childhood. That very same part where he didn't even register in your head as a real person, when your dad was still around to pick you up from school everyday, and your mom still loved you without resentment.

As you sat in the phlebotomy lab in the compound with needles and IV's in your arms, taking tubes and tubes of blood for testing, you closed your eyes and let your head hit the wall behind you.

All of this change in your life felt confusing, and your lack of ability to blend in made you feel like you weren't supposed to be here. Like you had made a mistake. Maybe it was the universe telling you to get out while you still could, step down, join the military again. The air force would always welcome you back with open arms.

"You doing okay?" The sweet nurse asked while capping off one vial of blood to fill the next. "Feeling dizzy?"

"I'm okay" You smiled politely. "Not dizzy"

There was a small knock on the doorframe, you looked up to see Steve leaning against it. "Are you sure? You look like miserable"

"I think that's just my face" You jokingly shrugged, trying to play it cool.

"Try to stay still" the nurse reminded you.

"Sorry" you whispered.

"Is it okay if I sit and talk with you?" Steve asked before he even dared to step foot in a room you were receiving medical attention in.

"Depends, am I getting fired already?" You asked only half joking this time as you heart rate increased. "If not you can definitely sit"

"It's pretty customary we take agents blood before we fire them, you know, just in case" his smile was cautious as he slowly entered the room and sat in a chair across from you.

"Am I trapped here forever now that you have my DNA?" Again, a half joke.

"Of course you are. I'm going to make a clone of you, maybe start an army."

"God, that's my worst nightmare" You politely chuckled.

"What? Clones?" He questioned with a curious head tilt and goofy smile.

"No, a bunch of me running around" You corrected, earning a laugh from the soldier. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Well-" He started and got more comfortable in his seat. "I know these first few days can make you feel like a lab rat so I just wanted to check in on you, make sure you're doing and feeling okay."

In that moment, you realized there was nowhere to go. With your arms being the subject to experiment you couldn't run, you couldn't avoid, and you certainly couldn't ask him to leave. You almost wish your life long hero turned out to be an asshole because processing that he was rude would be easier than having to constantly run from the feelings in your own head.

"I'm okay" You reassured again.

"Then why do you look miserable?" He challenged.

"I told you it's just my face" You playfully reminded him.

"Maybe one of your clones will tell me the truth" He joked. "Nothing about this is easy. I struggled when I got here, and you were practically crying when you were hired on."

"You're really going to call me out like that? That's how this is?" Your eyebrows raised.

"That's how it is" he grinned. "Not to make this weird but I've been keeping an eye on you, and you seem very... tentative. Uncomfortable maybe?"

"Do you double as a therapist? Super hero by day, shrink by night?" You questioned.

"It's actually more time efficient to be a shrink from nine to five, then work in the superhero stuff after."

"Oh, right, makes total sense!" You agreed with the nonsense.

"Sorry to interrupt but we're going to start running some of this, but stay here. I'll be back in a few minutes to see if we need more" The nurse said before leaving the room with the vials.

"How many of those have you filled?" Steve questioned, referring to the vials.

"I lost track after 15"

"Well now I have to fire you because you lost track of the vial count" He poked.

"I had a good run, it was an honor." You agreed.

"I heard you kicked ass yesterday in your agility assessment"

"Yeah? Who'd you hear that from?" You questioned.

"The assessor who has been stuck in bed all day with sore muscles an a pull in his abdomen" Steve laughed.

"Oops?"

"You're a way better fit than Tony made you out to be, he let me review your resume. I'm impressed."

"Thank you, it means a lot. I don't have a flying suit or a special power but I'll definitely try my hardest to keep up."

"Is that what this is about?" He asked, head tilting to the side again.

"What?"

"Your miserable face?" He picked up the way your eyes never left the floor in front of his feet.

You stopped to think about your next words so you could choose them wisely. You didn't want to come off as the overly emotional woman or seem unfit for your new role. "I'm not miserable, I'm just having a hard time believing I should be here." You admitted half the truth as he crumbled your protective walls.

"I'm sure it won't help much to tell you that you're qualified for the job, but here I am running my mouth anyway." He made fun of himself. "But I dunno, based off your record it seems like you're not the type to doubt your ability."

"Typically I'm not, but you guys are just so... established. I don't really know how to work my way in."

"You don't have to work your way in, everyone already wants you around. All you have to do is show up." Steve smiled.

"It's a little hard to show up when I'm a lab rat"

"Which is why I came to you"

"So I'm not getting fired...?"

"Still don't know that yet" Steve shrugged. "You seem pretty close with Scott already"

"Yeah, he's really sweet. We talked about his podcast and what Cassie is up too. He thinks Cassie and I are really similar" You explained.

"I also saw you talking to Thor" He pointed out.

"Thor was nice, lots of flattery."

"Flirting is what he does best" Steve pointed out. "Bucky? Sam? Nat? Peter Parker?"

"I've talked to Sam and Spidey, not so much Bucky and Nat"

"Okay, so it's not just me you avoid"

Your eyes snapped up off the floor at his statement, a small grin spread across his lips.

"I don't avoid you" You furrowed your brows, lying straight through your teeth.

"This is the first time we've had a conversation since we've met, you didn't text me back, and you leave the room every time I enter it." He challenged.

"I don't-"

"But you do" He insisted with a kind expression. He wasn't standing off or angry, he was empathetic. He just wanted to make sure you we're okay. "Why do you do that?"

"Steve" You warned.

"Do I make you uncomfortable? Did I do something to upset you?" He questioned further. "If we're going to be a team, we have to be comfortable with each other. We have to get along... build trust."

"It's not you" You shook your head, back slumping against the back of your chair contemplating if you were about to spill your guts to him. "Not your fault"

You cursed yourself for making him feel like he did something wrong, for allowing your grief to cloud this experience for you.

"But there's something wrong?" He asked sympathetically.

"Kind've? but also not really, and it's definitely not you" You nervously played with your fingers.

"Is it hard to talk about?"

"How could you tell?" You questioned rhetorically.

"I'm not going to force you into talking about it, but is there anything I can do to make it better?"

"You didn't do anything in the first place so I can't imagine you have to prove anything to me to make it better"

"I don't want you running away from me anymore, I really really really want to be friends with you" He pleaded like a child, it brought a smile to your face.

Of course he wanted to be friends with you, the prettiest girl he's ever seen. Quite honestly, his brain screamed at him to run away every time he saw you too. His palms would sweat and his heart would race, yet for some reason you pulled him in like a magnet.

Steve saw so many traits in you that he had when he first came out of the ice. Avoidance, distance, you just looked lost. You made yourself small, scurried through common areas quiet and stealth as a mouse, yet when you were around anyone who wasn't one of the Avengers, you became larger than life. Self assured with a big ear to ear smile on your face like you ruled the whole entire world.

He saw the way your eyes stayed trained on the floor, your fingers were constantly intertwined with each other in an anxious attempt to find something to fidget with, while the inside of your bottom lip squished between your teeth.

He knew the feeling all too well, it was like being stuck inside yourself with no way out. He saw the pain, he saw the struggle, he saw himself in you and he desperately wanted to pull you out.

"We can be friends" You told him, he swore that was the first time he had ever seen your real smile. Your big bright teeth were such an addictive sight, he wanted to see it over and over again.

"That means not running away from me anymore" Steve challenged.

"Am I running away right now?" You asked.

"No, but you also have tiny plastic tubes in your veins, there's kind've nowhere for you to go"

"Hey, I have extensive medical training, I could take these out no problem if I wanted to!" You proved your point. "And just for the record, I don't like having casual friends, it's best friends or nothing at all."

"Then it's settled, we're best friends now" He agreed.

The couple days after that, you actually did start feeling better about the situation in general. The huge wave of grief finally settled into tiny ripples, allowing for you to pop you head above the surface to take a big deep breath.

Steve helped. A lot.

Every single morning without fail, he would greet you with wide arms and an even wider smile before saying "good morning, best friend!" and trapping you in the biggest hugs you've ever received.

You two would go about your work like the adults you were, but Steve turned into a dysfunctional codependent every single time he got off work.

He would shove other team members out of the way so you could sit next to him while watching movies, he forced you out of your shell and invited you to everything. Dinners, bars, workouts at the gym, game night.

Eventually everyone was getting jealous that Steve took up all your time, and created a demand for the supply of you.

Before you even knew it, it felt like you were the most sought out avenger on the team. When you entered a room with more than one of them, it felt like getting pulled in a million different directions for a million different reasons.

But you would have that over feeling lost and unwanted any day. You had to hand it to Steve, it was like this was his plan all along.

He took you into the palm of his hand until you were comfortable, then shared you with everyone else. It was like he was the only one who really truly saw you for who you were.

After two months, he really did feel like a best friend. When you looked at him you didn't see a product of your childhood, you didn't see little you running around the park with a plastic shield, the little girl that would love to be the grown version of yourself, you saw your best friend. Your favorite gossip buddy, the guy who preferred hot lattes over iced ones, a big softy who cried over Friday night romcoms with you, the gentle giant who encourages you with a push without making you topple over.

You still had a hard day every once in a while, times where your muscles were too sore to move and days you desperately wanted to talk to your parents. Steve was always the first one to see the internal conflict. He saw it in your posture, the twinkle in your eyes would fizzle, and your smile only reached half capacity, but you did a good job trying to hide it.

So good that he was typically the only one who saw it. And on those days, he still would never make you talk about it.

He would hug you a little longer to say good morning, drag you out on a run, then force you to relax with him after work.

You knew he saw your struggle, and you knew he tried to make you feel better without saying a single word about it.

That's the funny thing about healing. It wasn't linear. Good days and bad days alike, you were just happy to be surrounded by people who genuinely loved you now. A whole bunch of dysfunctional codependents- a whole bunch of best friends.

Another crazy phenomenon started happening, you started seeing all of Steve's behavior too. You could spot his draining social battery, his sleepiness after a restless night, his distaste in a raunchy conversation, you knew how he was feeling before he expressed it, you always saw it.

And what you didn't know, was that he was silently grieving too. It seemed like everyone knew but you, especially one morning when you woke up and you didn't see Steve in the living room.

You didn't get your morning hug from your best friend, no gym Buddy in sight.

You walked in, stopped in your tracks, then pouted.

"What's wrong, Princess?" Thor questioned, Asgardian accent popping out.

"Where's Steve?" You questioned, turning you head towards Natasha.

"Oh, it's October 15th." Nat informed you, as if that was supposed to ring a bell. "We never see Steve on October 15th"

You stood there throughly confused, cocking your head to the side.

"Oh yeah, it's National leave Steve Rogers alone day" Bucky giggled to himself.

"I'm so confused" You admitted, walking towards the kitchen island where Bucky and Nat stood around.

"It's the anniversary of his Mom's passing, he usually spends the day at the cemetery and doesn't like to be bothered." Bucky explained.

All you did was nod, you understood now.

"You know, it happened in 1936, you'd think he would be over it by now" Bucky added, causing an immediate pang in your heart. "It doesn't even feel like we're in the same world as her anymore, yet he always goes back."

"Rogers' is a very sensitive soul, you gotta let him have it" Nat playfully nudged Bucky's elbow.

The subject ended as fast as it started, and you certainly weren't going to bring it up again. You ate breakfast with them like business per usual, then went about the rest of your day.

The only difference is that you spent your downtime today going to the craft store to pick up supplies for something you haven't made since middle school, then you sat in your room with a romcom in the background while you worked away.

Once you were happy with the result and everyone else had gone to bed, you moved your movie over to the living room and waited for Steve to come home.

It took a few hours, but he stumbled through the door at around 11:30. He set his keys down on the counter, and kicked his shoes off by the door before dragging his feet all the way over to you and fell onto the couch with a heavy plop.

The whole couch was available, but he sat right next to you, so you took half your blanket and threw it over his lap. You pulled something out of your pocket, then grabbed his forearm and moved it so it was settled on your lap while you tied the product of your hard work around his wrist.

A friendship bracelet.

You made two of them, a bunch of threads knotted together now lived on both of your wrists as a symbol of your best friendship. The one you put on him was the colors of your suit, while the one you wore was red white and blue.

After you tied it on, you put your wrist next to his to show him what you had done.

Although you could see his tired and sad eyes, he still smiled. It was a genuine smile too, the kind that makes your whole face scrunch up.

"I've never had friendship bracelets with anyone before" He admitted while looking at you as if you had just forced his inner child out.

"Well now you do, congratulations" You grinned, speaking softly.

"You just made my whole day a million times better" He smiled. "I'm never taking it off, thank you. You're a peach"

"You are very welcome, best friend" You grinned before turning you attention back to the movie. "Juno, have you ever seen it?"

"Mhm, I love this movie" He gave a small nod.

"Wanna watch with me? I can restart it, I don't mind."

"You're doing that thing, aren't you?" He questioned sheepishly.

"Thing? What thing?" You questioned even though you were definitely doing that thing.

"The thing I always do to you. Where you know I had a bad day, and you're trying to cheer me up without forcing me to talk about it?"

"Oh! That thing!" You exaggerated. "Pssst, why would I ever do that? Of course if you were having a bad day I'd let you suffer alone. Who do you think I am? Mother Theresa? I don't offer those services, Rogers. I'm glad you had a terrible time."

"You suck" He scrunched up his nose.

"What can I say? I'm a terrible awful no good human being" You shrugged. "Which is exactly why you are going to eat ice cream with me, and we're going to watch Juno. Oh! And if you're really good, maybe tomorrow I'll teach you how to make friendship bracelets so you can make some for your boyfriends"

"My boyfriends?"

"Sam and Bucky obviously"

"Oh, right" He hummed before letting his head hit the back of the couch. His smile faded fast but he was trying really hard not to kill the mood.

"Would talking about it make you feel better?" You asked sympathetically. "Bucky kinda told me what was up, but not in great detail."

"I don't even know what there is to say. It's been so long, yet every year on this day if feels like it just happened yesterday. I don't even know if my own mother would recognize me if she saw me now."

"Of course she would, you look the same! Just taller" You smiled. "Did you have a good relationship with your mom?"

"Yeah, the best. The best heart I've ever known"

"Well, obviously she passed that down to you"

"I don't know about that, but I'll take it" He pressed his hand to his chest. "I'll get over it. It's silly. Just one day a year where I can't seem to shake it, but I'll be okay."

"Of course you'll be okay, but I don't think it's silly. Losing a parent isn't something you just get over, it's okay to welcome that grief and sit in it for a little while. It's a beautiful reminder of all the love you still have for her." You reminded him. "You don't always have to be the tough guy."

"What are your parents like?" Steve asked, finally looking at your face.

"Dead" you said bluntly.

"Nice, mine too" he laughed at your answer.

"We just have so much in common!" You faked enthusiasm. "My dad is dead, he passed when I was 12. My mom is figuratively dead, she also passed when I was 12 but unfortunately I didn't get a chance to discard the remains until I was 18"

"Did you kill your mother?" He whispered jokingly.

"I probably should've" you whispered back, earning not so quiet laughter. "She's been calling me for weeks wondering where I am, but I really think she would be happier if one of us was dead"

"She doesn't know you're an Avenger now?" He questioned seeming genuinely surprised.

"The only people that know are my old commanding officers" You admitted. "Probably the only people who care."

"They must be very proud"

"Okay, this is not about me" You giggled, trying to steer the conversation away from all the emotions that tend to consume you.

"I'm proud of you" He ignored your plea.

His words hit you like semi truck, you had to bite your bottom lip to keep it from quivering and giving away all the emotions flooding your brain.

"I wanna hear more about your mom" You told him in another desperate attempt.

"I'm the sad one, which means I get to choose what we talk about to make me feel better, which means I want to know why you get so worked up around me sometimes." He lifted his hand just to poke your arm.

You covered your face with your hands before letting out a dramatic groan that caused him to laugh. "So embarrassing"

"What could possibly be so embarrassing?" He asked, gently prying your hands away from your face. "I'm probably the least judgmental person you'll ever meet" he smiled when your eyes poked out.

"God- I hate you, Rogers" You complained in defeat.

"Mhm, tell me more" A laugh erupted from his chest.

"Do I really have to?" You complained.

"No" He shook his head. "If it's still too hard to talk about we don't have to" He dropped the act and let go of your wrists.

He was so sweet, the sugar rotted away your brick wall. Oh, and when he looked at you with those big, blue, puppy dog eyes you couldn't deny him of anything.

"Ugh! Fine!" You surrendered. "I'll tell you but I swear if you laugh or make fun of me I'll never tell you anything ever again!"

All he did was smirk and lift up his pinky finger to wrap around yours, a non-verbal promise. "We have friendship bracelets for a reason! I take this very seriously, best friend."

"Okay. When I was a kid I had three ultimate heroes" You started, taking a moment to acclimate to the embarrassment. "My dad, my mom, and you."

"Me?!" He pointed to himself with a big goofy smile on his face.

"You" You nodded. "My parents were both military and you were... well... you, so I just thought the three of you guys were just the epitome of what a human should be. I dunno, I guess back then it was so simple, such a sacred part of my childhood."

"I am pretty cool, aren't I?" He joked.

"You suck, I hate you now, remember?" You joked back. "Don't let this inflate you're ego."

"They do say don't meet your heroes" He nudged you with his shoulder.

"All of that was before my dad passed and my relationship with my mom got complicated." You further explained. "It's really weird for me, most of my life I thought you were dead. And now, during such a pivotal point in my life, I don't have either of my parents but I have you. Having someone around again that means so much to me and be so kind to me has been an adjustment. I appreciate you so much, but sometimes I can't help but to think of how complete I would feel if i still had my parents to see all of this craziness. In a weird way, it makes me grieve all over again."

"When my mom passed, I was too sick to even tie my own shoes. My dad was gone before I was even born. I always wonder what my mom would say if she say all of this. A part of me thinks she would be happy for me, but a bigger part of me thinks I'd give the poor woman a heart attack if she knew what I've been up to" He explained. "Sometimes, all I want to do is just talk to her. Tell her about how life has been going, let her know everything about me. But I can't. And it seems like you can't do that either, so when you feel that way, just come talk to me. I'll always listen, okay?"

You nodded and swallowed back a lump in your throat. You know your behavior at the beginning of this journey all made sense to him now, it was like he could finally see you for who you actually are, rather than who he thought you might've been.

"You need a hug?" He asked.

"You give the best hugs" You nodded.

He held his arms out for you, inviting you into his personal space. You accepted by snuggling close and holding him just as tight as he was holding you.

"I really am proud of you" he insisted. "Thank you for trusting me"

"I guess I don't hate you that bad"

"Yes! Best complement ever" he happily accepted. "See?! We're still best friends!"

“Uh huh” You sarcastically giggled as he let you go.

In such a short amount of time, you already found yourself missing his touch.

Next part: Touch

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natashaismylove · 3 years ago

Note

G!p reader and natasha run away to Norway together and sleeps with each other on the run? Some soft sex maybe. Could you do an angst ending too?

Fugitives |N. Romanoff

Summary: Natasha and y/n are both too scared to admit their feelings for one another. As the team splits up and both of them go into hiding, they finally find themselves in a situation where they can be together.

Pairing: g!p reader x Natasha

Warnings: smut, fluff, angst, g!p reader, unprotected sex, dirty talk, praise, begging, breeding kink, slight pain kink, mention of pregnancy, death. 18+ minors DNI.

Word count: 3001

---

For once in my life I made the decision to follow my heart instead of my head. I wasn’t quite sure who’s side to be on, but whether or not I had made the right choice remained unclear. Steve was adamant about Bucky’s innocence and his refusal to back down on it made me trust his instinct, something I didn't do very often.

I’d always been a logical person, trusting facts over emotions. Things made sense to me when I had a clear definite answer or reason instead of ideas or personal opinions. I had the facts which said that the Avengers had done a lot of harm over the years, too much collateral damage for it to be ethical or humane.

What I also had was the knowledge of how much good we had done and the extreme amount of damage that would’ve happened if we hadn’t stepped in. This plus Tony’s refusal to take accountability for his own mistakes pushed me to support Steve’s side.

I didn’t mix emotions with any form of decisions I had to make and I never had. Still, it felt horrible to have to stand across from Natasha once they caught up with us in Germany. The way her eyes met mine immediately and the words she had spoken just a day prior rang in my head. The way she had tried to convince me to sign the accords, “Do the right thing.” she had said.

Watching as Steve and Bucky boarded the jet, having seen the way Natasha had helped them do so eased my mind a tiny bit. It made me feel like maybe it was a chance for us to remain friends and not let this ruin anything between us.

She had been my closest friend since I joined S.H.I.E.L.D a few years ago. We’d always have each other's backs and for the most we had the same opinions on things, hence why it was such a surprise for me once she agreed with Tony.

After Steve and Bucky got away and I heard police sirens in the distance I made the decision to flee. It was either this or get arrested and that just didn’t seem all that logical. I left the airport and tried not to think about what would happen to my friends.

---

Third person POV

The TV was on in the background as Natasha absentmindedly stared out into space, thinking about the situation she was in as she had just arrived in Norway to hide out. What mostly plagued her mind were the thoughts of y/n and where she was. Natasha wouldn’t admit it but she always worried about her friend, no matter what either of them were doing.

Other than Clint, y/n was the only person she felt like she could truly trust. Natasha was very aware of her feelings for the other girl, knowing that she was absolutely in love. She never said anything, always kept those thoughts to herself, but whenever the two girls would do regular stuff; cooking together, driving around at night, cuddling while watching a movie, she would always let herself imagine that they were doing this because they were in a relationship.

Their fingers brushing together as she handed Natasha the salt, the smile that covered y/n’s face as she loudly sang along to the songs that were playing through the car. The way she would lie her head on Natasha’s shoulder when she got tired, dozing off in the middle of the movie. All these things made Natasha’s heart glow, and her brain started to whirr with the thoughts and imaginations of them truly being together.

---

Natasha let herself focus on the TV as the news started to play, talking about the situation that had gone down in Germany.

“Det har kommet som en stor overraskelse for oss at flere av disse superheltene er nå kriminelle. Captain Amerika er på rømmen, det samme med Black Widow og flere medlemmer av Avengerne. Vi ber dere alle om å være på utkikk og melde politiet hvis dere ser de.” ‘It's a surprise for us all that these superheroes are now criminals. Captain America, Black Widow and other members of the Avengers are now on the run. We ask you all to look out and notify the police if you spot them.’

“Kriminelle, huh?” ‘Criminals, huh?’ you said as you crossed your arms, leaning against the wall next to the door.

Natasha’s head shot towards you, staring at you while trying to figure out how you had found the trailer.

You pushed yourself off of the wall before walking towards the couch Natasha was seated on. “Ja vell da, nå er vi tydeligvis kriminelle. Full av ondskap” ‘Alright then, we’re apparently now criminals. Full of evil.’ You shrugged with a chuckle at your own joke.

“Hey…” Natasha said with a small smile.

You returned her smile before sitting down, placing your hand on her knee. “Hey there.”

Natasha was quick to put her hand on top of yours, lacing your fingers together. “I was worried about you.”

You gave her a nod, a sad smile played on your lips. “Me too.”

Natasha stared into your eyes, taking a deep breath before letting her gaze drop to your lips. She squeezed your hand a bit while contemplating whether or not she was gonna make a move, the worry of possibly ruining the friendship plagued her mind. She breathed out through her nose before muttering a small “fuck it.” and quickly let go of your hand to cup your face.

She smashed her lips against yours and you reached out to grab onto the couch behind you to not lose balance. Once you realised what was happening you placed your hands on her shoulders and returned the kiss with the same amount of neediness as she was giving. Your lips moved together hungrily, hers parting enough for you to slip your tongue in as you tangled your fingers into her hair.

You tugged lightly on her hair while kissing across her jaw, the sigh she let out as her head was pulled back sounded like music to your ears. You trailed kisses down her neck, leaving marks in a momentary flash of possessiveness. The way she held onto your body made your heart soar, the small moans she let out as you made your way back up her neck was all you needed to pull her onto your lap.

You placed your lips back on hers, letting out a small chuckle against them as she started to desperately move her lips against yours, absentmindedly rocking her hips back and forth as she straddled you. Her lips were soft and warm, a comforting feeling you’d replay in your mind over and over again later in life.

You nipped at her lips, lightly biting onto it before kissing the area, moving your hands down to hold onto her hips. “Shit, Tasha…” you breathed out.

“Fuck me, please.” she spoke against your lips before kissing you again.

You used one hand to cradle her head as you made out, the other one wrapped around her back as you moved her to lie underneath you on the couch. Your hands made way to her jacket which you unzipped quickly, allowing Natasha to throw it onto the ground next to you. Her shirt was quickly pulled over her head to join the jacket on the ground, the other clothing items soon following.

As she laid under you, naked with her hair messily framing her head, her chest moving up and down as she breathed heavily, you couldn’t help but reach out to gently brush your fingers over her cheek, tracing her features slowly while she looked up at you, burning them into your memory.

“Please, y/n…” she whispered.

You smiled and nodded, pulling your shirt over your head, not caring where it landed before you moved onto your pants. Once all your clothes were gone you slowly bent down, placing a delicate kiss onto her lips before doing the same to her cheek.

“You’re sure about this?” you questioned her.

She gave a nod back, smiling so softly up at you that you felt like you could just melt. “Never been more sure about anything.”

You parted her legs a bit more, moving the head of your cock against her hole. You kept your eyes on her the entire time, making sure she was alright as you slowly moved your cock into her.

Her lips parted as her eyes closed, a breathy moan left her as you filled her up. She wrapped her arms around your back, pushing you completely down onto her. Once you were fully in you gave her a moment to adjust, get used to the feeling of you inside of her.

You kissed her neck before holding yourself up on your forearms. “Just tell me when.”

She took a few breaths before smiling. “Please move.”

You dragged your hips back before bucking into her, watching her face intently, but the only thing you could see on it was pleasure and lust. Once again you moved out of her and thrusted back in, getting moans out of her as you fell into a rhythm.

You brushed her hair away from her face before quickening your movements, wrapping one arm around her back to slightly lift her hips up and try to find the right angle to make her scream. Her legs wrapped around your waist, pushing you deeper inside of her as you hit her spot repeatedly.

“Holy shit, y/n~” she moaned.

“You feel so amazing, Nat…” you laid your head into the crook of her neck, breathing heavily against it which caused shivers to go down Natasha’s spine. “so so perfect…”

“I love you~”

You let out a happy chuckle before holding onto her tighter, nodding against her. “I love you too, so much.”

You moved your hand from under her before sliding it down between the two of you, finding her clit easily before putting some pressure on it. Her eyes shut tightly and you took it as a signal to move your fingers in small circles. Her nails dug into your back but you didn’t care, the thought of having some marks to remind you of this only fueled you to go faster.

She was moaning into your ear, still holding you down so you were chest to chest. You could feel her clenching around you, a sign that told you she was getting closer. Your fingers worked at a quicker pace, your hips bucking into her to reach as deep inside as you could.

“You wanna cum for me?” you spoke into her ear before lightly biting her ear lobe.

She nodded quickly, her nails raking down your skin so deliciously. “Please, so badly~”

“Good. I want to feel you cum, don’t hold anything back, alright?”

She gave another nod, her face scrunched up in pleasure for you to see as you lifted your head a bit. With both the works of your fingers against her clit and your cock inside of her it didn’t take long before her back was arching and she let out a loud moan as she came. You fucked her through her orgasm before wrapping your arms around her back, pulling her up so you could sit with her straddling you again.

Your arms stayed around her waist and you helped her jump up and down onto your cock, reaching another place inside of her that nearly made her scream. Her hands were in your hair, her forehead pressed against yours as she rocked her hips in circular motions.

“I want to feel you cum as well~” her breath mingled with yours as she spoke.

You nodded, tightening your arms around her as you bounced her on your cock. “Don’t worry, I’m gonna cum, just gotta pull out-”

“No!” she said loudly. “No, don’t pull out please, want to feel you fill me up~”

You shook your head against her. “I’m not wearing a condom, sweetheart.”

“Don’t care.” she said out of breath as she kept jumping on your cock, the feeling of her around you had nearly made you cum so many times already. “Fill me up, breed me, get me pregnant, I don’t care~”

“Nat-”

“Please, y/n, just please fill me up, make me all big and round with your babies, it’s all I want.” she kept pleading, her eyes closed and her face full of bliss from her previous orgasm.

Your face scrunched up as you tried to hold back, tried to tell yourself that she was just talking nonsense from all the pleasure, that she didn’t really mean it. Somehow she still managed to convince you as you started to thrust your hips up into her.

“Fucking hell, fine-” you grunted, pushing her face into your neck as you held onto her while fucking up into her.

“Fuck me pregnant~” she moaned into your ear, clinging onto you as she waited for you to cum inside of her.

“Holy shit- shit-” you moaned, thrusting up a final time before letting your cum spill into her. Her body was shaking against yours, the clenching she was doing around you let you know that she had cum again. Your hands caressed her back gently as she moved her head from your neck to look at you.

A big but tired smile covered her face before she kissed you, sighing against your lips before pulling away.

“Thank you.” she said softly.

You placed a kiss on her forehead before hugging her tightly. “I love you.”

---

What else could replay in your mind as you looked around the scenery but that memory. The time you two finally realised how much you meant to each other.

A small hand tugged on yours and brought you out of your thoughts as you looked down at the little girl. You crouched down in front of her before kissing her forehead. “I love you. Mommy and I love you and we always will, no matter what.”

At 2 years old you knew she couldn’t understand the concept of death. In reality that wasn’t something you ever wanted your daughter to know anyways, but life turned out a different way. You held onto her before lifting her up, placing her on your hip as you walked closer to the grave.

You pointed at it before smiling at her. “This is where you can go to talk to mommy, ok? And she might not respond, but you’ll always know she’s listening. She’s watching us from above now, making sure we’re always ok.”

Emma nodded slowly before placing her hand against your nose, her tiny fingers wrapping around it before quickly pulling away as she giggled. “I got your nose.”

You gave her a big smile before kissing her cheek. “No fair, give it back.” you fake pouted.

She giggled again while shaking her head. “No.”

You didn’t expect to be here. It’s been seven years since you found out your then girlfriend was pregnant, although it had only been almost three years for you. You’d been ecstatic, found a cottage for you guys in the woods in Norway that you immediately started renovating. You had made it all so incredibly homy, a nice nursery with lots of toys was placed besides your bedroom.

You got married, a small wedding with only Yelena present as the officiant, and you had just celebrated Emma’s second birthday when Steve had showed up, telling you guys that they needed your help. You and Natasha had agreed that she would go and you’d stay and take care of your daughter, as much as the thought of her leaving hurt you. It was barely a blink of an eye that everything had changed. The windows of your home were suddenly shattered, the entire place dark and glass shards were scattered on the floor, plants growing through the floor cracks and moss on the walls.

You’d held Emma tightly as she cried, your own confusion weighing heavy on your head as your home had been in perfect shape just a second ago. You went back to America, only to find a funeral for Tony and Steve with a grim expression as he approached you.

You’d found Yelena again after, the two of you ended up being great friends and sister in laws in the two years you spent with each other as she stayed with you guys. You found out about Natasha’s grave from her, where you were now standing with your daughter, trying to stay strong for her.

You put Emma down and watched as she ran over to her auntie Yelena to play with her dog, and you turned your gaze back to your Wife’s grave, a sad smile on your lips as you reached out to touch the stone.

“Don’t worry, sweetheart. You did everything to protect us and you succeeded. I’ll always love you and I’ll make sure Emma knows all about her mom.” you spoke, a tear running down your cheek as you hoped so dearly that somehow in the afterlife she could hear you. “You can rest now.”

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