#'and 85% of that time she is absolutely right. the other 15% is where most of her problems come from.'

[ebbpettier]

which is to say: in theory.

[girlactionfigure]

let Anne Frank rest

NOVEMBER 11, 2024

THIS IS DISRESPECTFUL

ANNE, MARGOT, THEIR MOTHER, AND FATHER WERE ZIONISTS

Here’s the thing: we have absolutely no way of knowing how Anne Frank would feel about today’s Israel-Hamas war, because her life was brutally cut short by the Nazis at just 15 years old. Is it possible that she would be attending pro-Palestine marches and donning keffiyehs? Sure, it’s possible. A minority of Jews do that.  

Here’s what we know for sure: in her own famous diary, Anne Frank wrote that she was interested in Zionism. Her sister, Margot Frank, was an ardent Zionist. She joined the Dutch Zionist youth club in 1941, and hoped to make aliyah (immigrate) to Mandatory Palestine, where she planned on becoming a midwife for the Yishuv (pre-state Jewish community in Palestine).

Otto Frank, the only family member to survive the war, was very, very strongly pro-Israel, particularly after the Holocaust (whereas beforehand, he was slightly more ambivalent, though never anti-Zionist). In fact, in the 1970s, Otto had a disagreement with the Anne Frank House, as he demanded that the museum’s statutes explicitly affirm Israel’s right to exist — a right much of today’s keffiyeh-wearing pro-Palestine movement doesn’t accept.

We don’t know how Anne would feel today. But we do know how most Holocaust survivors feel. Not only do most Holocaust survivors -- like most Jews -- support Israel, but 49% of today’s remaining 245,000 survivors live in Israel. It’s even possible that Anne may have moved to Israel had she survived the war; after all, Israel absorbed nearly 400,000 Holocaust survivor refugees between 1946-1952, including Anne’s childhood best friend, Hanna Goslar.

APPROPRIATION OF OUR TRAUMA, AGAIN

I’ve talked about Holocaust inversion on this account for years. I have numerous posts on it, with more coming. But perhaps I haven’t made this explicitly clear yet: Holocaust inversion -- that is, the depiction of Jews and/or Israelis as Nazis, crypto-Nazis, or “worse than the Nazis” and the Palestinians as the “true” victims of the Holocaust -- is a blatant appropriation of the Jewish people’s worst collective trauma.  

That is not to say that Palestinians don’t endure pain. Of course they do, and pain and trauma can’t exactly be quantified. But this obsession with stripping Jews of our very unique, deeply painful experience and placing it onto someone else is deeply offensive. At a certain point, it almost looks like these people have Holocaust envy, which is bizarre and frankly deeply disturbing.  

Why would you want this? For six years, the international community stood by as nearly 70% of Europe’s Jewish population was exterminated in the most industrialized genocide in human history. Countries all over the world shut their doors to Jewish refugees. The Allies refused to bomb the death camps and the railroads leading to the camps, despite the desperate pleas from the Jewish community. In 1939, there were 16.6 million Jews in the world. Today, 85 years later, we just scrape 15 million. This is not what has ever happened to Palestinians, whose population has not decreased by even half a percentage point since 1948, not even since October 7, and not even in Gaza (as there have been more births than deaths, according to Hamas and Save the Children). 

Even more infuriating? Not even did Palestinian Arab leadership collaborate with the Nazis during the Holocaust -- and in 1948 -- but public opinion polls from the time period demonstrate most Palestinian Arabs favored Nazi Germany. Enough. You don’t get to take this one from us, because your ancestors, too, were complicit during the Holocaust.

STOP IMPOSING IDENTITIES ON JEWS

As I explained in a recent post, antisemitism can arguably be divided into two categories: (1) “Nazi antisemitism,” which seeks to eliminate Jews physically, and (2) “Hanukkah antisemitism,” which seeks to strip Jews of the qualities that make us Jewish. In other words, forced assimilation.

Anne Frank was a Jewish child. She was born in Germany and later became Dutch. Never in her lifetime would she have worn a Palestinian keffiyeh, because at the time, the Palestinian keffiyeh was the official uniform of British officer Sir John Bagot Glubb’s “Desert Patrol,” comprised of Palestinian and Jordanian Arab Bedouins who were loyal to the British police force in Mandatory Palestine. Since Anne Frank was neither a Bedouin nor a member of Glubb’s Desert Patrol, putting the keffiyeh on her -- a murdered child -- is nothing but imposing an identity on her that isn’t hers.  

Maybe this sounds dramatic, or like it shouldn’t be a big deal. But this is also part of a larger pattern of Palestinians appropriating Jewish historical figures and claiming them as their own (the Jesus comes to mind).

And this is not a matter of doing this just to historical figures, but to living, breathing Jews. For example, several of the released Hamas hostages testified that Hamas threatened to forcibly convert them to Islam, much like their ancestors once did to ours when they conquered the Holy Land from the Byzantines in the 7th century.

IF YOU ACTUALLY CARED ABOUT ANNE FRANK, YOU WOULD CARE ABOUT THIS

On November 7, 2024, a premeditated pogrom took place in the streets of Amsterdam -- Anne Frank’s Amsterdam.

Thousands of pro-Palestinians supporters ambushed Israeli Maccabi Tel Aviv fans as they were leaving a Maccabi Tel Aviv-AFC Ajax soccer match. Much like on October 7, the perpetrators live-streamed themselves stabbing Israelis and Jews, running over Israelis and Jews, throwing firecrackers at Israelis and Jews, and beating Israelis and Jews to a pulp, as the Amsterdam police looked the other way. They stole their phones and passports, and for some time, some of the victims were missing. Jews tried to hide in a canal, in boats, in a KFC, and more, just like the Franks hid in an attic. The perpetrators forced the victims to shout “free Palestine!” They attacked not just men, but women and children. Not all of the victims were Maccabi Tel Aviv fans, or Israelis, but all of the victims were Jews -- or perceived to be Jews.  

Of course, it wasn’t long until antisemites -- and the mainstream media -- spun the event, which, again, had not only been premeditated, but the perpetrators had dubbed “a Jew hunt” (in fact, it was so premeditated Israel had forewarned the Dutch police). They said it was simply soccer hooligans brawling, or that it happened because the day before, a few Israelis had torn down a Palestinian flag, or because some of the Maccabi fans had chanted racist chants. In this regard, they’re in terrible company: every pogrom in history has had its “justification;” sometimes the justification is based on a true event; other times, it’s pure fiction (e.g. blood libel). Kristallnacht, the pogrom that marks the beginning of the Holocaust, was excused because a Jew killed a German diplomat in Paris.

Are some Maccabi fans racist? It seems so. That’s no justification for an attempted lynching. Imagine if Jews tried to lynch pro-Palestinian protestors every time they chant antisemitic chants (“globalize the intifada,” “Khaybar, Khaybar ya Yahud,” for example), or every time an Israeli flag or hostage poster is torn down. None of us would have jobs, because this happens daily, multiple times a day, everywhere in the world.

For over a year, Dutch Jewish community leaders have warned of a hostile, dangerous environment for Jews in the Netherlands, and in Amsterdam more specifically. The Central Jewish Consultation, the official Jewish umbrella organization in the Netherlands, defined the November 7 mob attacks as a “pogrom” and tied it to the growing antisemitic climate in the country, which existed long before any Maccabi Tel Aviv fans showed up in Amsterdam.

As usual, however, antisemites are tokenizing the words of fringe Jews whose views are not representative of the community. 

The Chief Rabbi of the Netherlands also issued a damning statement, noting the hostile, antisemitic climate in the country.

The above is true. But this is not a one-off event. The Netherlands has been failing the Jewish community for a long, long time. These situations don’t escalate out of nowhere. Instead of offering us your apologies and condolences after the fact, take decisive action.

For a full bibliography of my sources, please head over to my Instagram and  Patreon. 

rootsmetals

another post I started working on before November 7 that suddenly became very relevant…

[ahappybeginning]

Happy post! 😁

Ok, so despite the one really big bump that happened, there have been a lot of really positive things happening recently, too.

Firstly, I’m officially done with all the pre-op requirements! No more blood work, no more scans, no more check-ins with various doctors (at least until AFTER surgery). And I not only met the weight loss requirement my surgeon wanted before surgery, but I actually exceeded that by 20 lbs, for a total of 70 lbs lost since the first week of May. I’ve been called a super star by my surgeon, my nutritionist, and even the sleep specialist I’ve been seeing for my sleep apnea. I’ve somehow managed to exceed everyone’s expectations, including my own, and it feels incredible. I’m going into this surgery knowing that I’ve done everything possible to succeed and keep myself committed to this new lifestyle, and I’m finding ways to make accommodations for the things I know will be the hardest for me.

And along with the sleep apnea thing, I’ve had and been using my CPAP machine for a little over 2 weeks now, and it’s actually not as bad as I was expecting. I sleep pretty well with it, and really my biggest issue is making sure I actually get into bed and put it on before I fall asleep 😅. But I had an appointment this past week, and the lady I’ve been working with said that everything looked fantastic on paper, the machine is working exactly as it should, and I’ve gone from 85 apnea events per hour (from my first sleep study in May), to now 0.6 an hour with the CPAP. So like…that’s CRAZY good. I honestly wish I hadn’t been so apprehensive about it for so long before all this because I can definitely tell that I’m feeling a lot better physically, I’m not constantly falling asleep during the day and I just have a lot more energy overall. So while I do hope the weight loss will help reverse the apnea naturally, in the meantime I’m glad I do have the machine now to help correct it and let me get more quality sleep.

And in other Non-Scale Victories (NSV for short), I’m down 2 clothing sizes and have been pulling out some of the old stuff I used to love but had gotten too big for in the last couple years. I did get rid of a lot of it when we moved last year, but I saved a few things that I couldn’t bear to part with, so being able to fit back into them now is really exciting. And I’ve bought myself a couple new things in the smaller size as a little reward for all my hard work. 🥰 And yesterday, for the first time in well over a year (probably more like 2-3 years), I walked over 10,000 steps (it was actually 11), and I don’t even feel the least bit sore today. For reference, when I started properly adding in more physical activity for my pre-op preparation in early July, my average was around 2-3k steps a day, topping out at around 5k a couple times a week. And before that I would sometimes do less than 1k. So I’ve been slowly trying to work on building up my muscles and stamina, and it’s been really paying off. I can walk for a lot longer now without my back or legs hurting, and I’m starting to get back to the point where I enjoy it again. The main issue I have right now is the extreme heat outside, so I’ve been primarily pacing around my room for 5-15 minutes at a time several times a day. But it’s working, so I’m really happy.

And one other thing that isn’t solely related to my bariatric journey but definitely has an effect on it, is that my sister and I have been making really great progress in our relationship recently. For anyone who’s been following me for a long time, you’ve probably seen me kind of vaguely mention that my sister and I have had a very tumultuous and toxic relationship for most of my life, and for pretty much the last decade, I’ve only spent time with her when absolutely necessary. But in the last year or so, she’s been slowly trying to bridge the gap between us. And though I was resistant at first (with very good reason), I did eventually acknowledge that she was making a real effort to change and make up for all the years of manipulation and abuse (mostly verbal/emotional). So I’ve been more open and accepting of her attempts to spend more time together, and we’ve actually managed to have several really brutally honest conversations about our childhood and our own individual pain, and we’ve been able to genuinely apologize and begin to heal the deep wounds we both have. So during this whole process of getting ready for this surgery, she’s been very supportive and has made real efforts to do whatever she can to help make things as easy for me as possible. And tbh, I’ve been struggling a lot with my mom in that area because she just doesn’t seem to understand what my true needs are no matter how much I try to communicate them more effectively. So having the support from my sister has been a huge comfort, and it’s something I never would have thought we could ever get to. We were SO broken for so long, and of course there’s still stuff we’re working through and probably will be for a long time. But I’m just amazed at the progress we’ve both made so far and I’m grateful that I do have that familial support that I really need right now, even if it’s not from the family member I was expecting.

So I’m hoping to have more positive things to post about in the next couple weeks leading up to my surgery. I’m doing my best to focus on the ultimate goal and remind myself of all the things I have to be grateful for and proud of. Fingers crossed that it’s smooth sailing from here on out. 🤞💖

[twinkletits0112]

100 questions to ask about your roleplaying character

Part 1: The Basics 1.What is your full name? 2.Where and when were you born? 3.Who are/were your parents?  (Know their names, occupations, personalities, etc.) 4.Do you have any siblings?  What are/were they like? 5.Where do you live now, and with whom?  Describe the place and the person/people. 6.What is your occupation? 7.Write a full physical description of yourself.  You might want to consider factors such as: height, weight, race, hair and eye color, style of dress, and any tattoos, scars, or distinguishing marks. 8.To which social class do you belong? 9.Do you have any allergies, diseases, or other physical weaknesses? 10. Are you right- or left-handed? 11. What does your voice sound like? 12. What words and/or phrases do you use very frequently? 13. What do you have in your pockets? 14. Do you have any quirks, strange mannerisms, annoying habits, or other defining characteristics?

Part 2: Growing Up 15. How would you describe your childhood in general? 16. What is your earliest memory? 17. How much schooling have you had? 18. Did you enjoy school? 19. Where did you learn most of your skills and other abilities? 20. While growing up, did you have any role models?  If so, describe them. 21. While growing up, how did you get along with the other members of your family? 22. As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up? 23. As a child, what were your favorite activities? 24. As a child, what kinds of personality traits did you display? 25. As a child, were you popular?  Who were your friends, and what were they like? 26. When and with whom was your first kiss? 27. Are you a virgin?  If not, when and with whom did you lose your virginity? 28. If you are a supernatural being (i.e. mage, werewolf, vampire), tell the story of how you became what you are or first learned of your own abilities.  If you are just a normal human, describe any influences in your past that led you to do the things you do today.

Part 3: Past Influences 29. What do you consider the most important event of your life so far? 30. Who has had the most influence on you? 31. What do you consider your greatest achievement? 32. What is your greatest regret? 33. What is the most evil thing you have ever done? 34. Do you have a criminal record of any kind? 35. When was the time you were the most frightened? 36. What is the most embarrassing thing ever to happen to you? 37. If you could change one thing from your past, what would it be, and why? 38. What is your best memory? 39. What is your worst memory?

Part 4: Beliefs And Opinions 40. Are you basically optimistic or pessimistic? 41. What is your greatest fear? 42. What are your religious views? 43. What are your political views? 44. What are your views on sex? 45. Are you able to kill?  Under what circumstances do you find killing to be acceptable or unacceptable? 46. In your opinion, what is the most evil thing any human being could do? 47. Do you believe in the existence of soul mates and/or true love? 48. What do you believe makes a successful life? 49. How honest are you about your thoughts and feelings (i.e. do you hide your true self from others, and in what way)? 50. Do you have any biases or prejudices? 51. Is there anything you absolutely refuse to do under any circumstances?  Why do you refuse to do it? 52. Who or what, if anything, would you die for (or otherwise go to extremes for)?

Part 5: Relationships With Others 53. In general, how do you treat others (politely, rudely, by keeping them at a distance, etc.)?  Does your treatment of them change depending on how well you know them, and if so, how? 54. Who is the most important person in your life, and why? 55. Who is the person you respect the most, and why? 56. Who are your friends?  Do you have a best friend?  Describe these people. 57. Do you have a spouse or significant other?  If so, describe this person. 58. Have you ever been in love?  If so, describe what happened. 59. What do you look for in a potential lover? 60. How close are you to your family? 61. Have you started your own family?  If so, describe them.  If not, do you want to?  Why or why not? 62. Who would you turn to if you were in desperate need of help? 63. Do you trust anyone to protect you?  Who, and why? 64. If you died or went missing, who would miss you? 65. Who is the person you despise the most, and why? 66. Do you tend to argue with people, or avoid conflict? 67. Do you tend to take on leadership roles in social situations? 68. Do you like interacting with large groups of people?  Why or why not? 69. Do you care what others think of you?

Part 6: Likes And Dislikes 70. What is/are your favorite hobbies and pastimes? 71. What is your most treasured possession? 72. What is your favorite color? 73. What is your favorite food? 74. What, if anything, do you like to read? 75. What is your idea of good entertainment (consider music, movies, art, etc.)? 76. Do you smoke, drink, or use drugs?  If so, why?  Do you want to quit? 77. How do you spend a typical Saturday night? 78. What makes you laugh? 79. What, if anything, shocks or offends you? 80. What would you do if you had insomnia and had to find something to do to amuse yourself? 81. How do you deal with stress? 82. Are you spontaneous, or do you always need to have a plan? 83. What are your pet peeves?

Part 7: Self Images And Etc. 84. Describe the routine of a normal day for you.  How do you feel when this routine is disrupted? 85. What is your greatest strength as a person? 86. What is your greatest weakness? 87. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? 88. Are you generally introverted or extroverted? 89. Are you generally organized or messy? 90. Name three things you consider yourself to be very good at, and three things you consider yourself to be very bad at. 91. Do you like yourself? 92. What are your reasons for being an adventurer (or doing the strange and heroic things that RPG characters do)?  Are your real reasons for doing this different than the ones you tell people in public?  (If so, detail both sets of reasons…) 93. What goal do you most want to accomplish in your lifetime? 94. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 95. If you could choose, how would you want to die? 96. If you knew you were going to die in 24 hours, name three things you would do in the time you had left. 97. What is the one thing for which you would most like to be remembered after your death? 98. What three words best describe your personality? 99. What three words would others probably use to describe you? 100. If you could, what advice would you, the player, give to your character?  (You might even want to speak as if he or she were sitting right here in front of you, and use proper tone so he or she might heed your advice…)

[phantomrose96]

New BNHA, new liveblog, 0 miles today because the gyms are all closed. this is weird for me.

REALLY loving each and every one of the hand-wavy reasons Horikoshi gives for “fuck it i just wanted Aizawa (or maybe Mirio?) to adopt a kid”

Aizawa: “Look, the hospital kicked her out, her parents are MIA, her grandpa’s in a coma, and it’s not like Mirio is doing anything right now.” Mirio: “Haha yeah :DD”

“We worked for like 15 episodes to steal her, you think we’d just, what, give her BACK? Finders fucking keepers, Midoriya.”

Sometimes a family is an out-of-commission 18 year old, a really tired teacher, a traumatized little girl, and the ugliest godDAMN sweater on the planet

Dats gay

I really like the Wild Wild Pussycats casual clothes???

Their whole aesthetic is Your Three Lesbian Aunts And One Gay Uncle Visiting For Thanksgiving

Kota has... Deku’s Shoes... thats real fucking cute

SPEAKING of cute: Ragdoll is an absolute gem and I wish there was more of her in the Training Camp arc she’s a real cutie

I’m glad we’re finally learning how rankings work, considering the very concept of the ranking system has been absolutely core to the series since Day 1. Like 90-something episodes in and Horikoshi is finally like “oh i should explain how that works”

I’m a big fan of how, whenever something Thematically Relevant to Todoroki is said, they just have to pan to his blank face, because it’s not like he’d ever. you know. participate in the conversation. not his style. we only get the Meaningful Panning Shot.

Is that

Is that a

Is that a washing machine?

Is the #8 hero a washing machine?

Never mind

Wait is THAT man just named Crust?? Poor bastard is the #6 hero and his hero name is crust.

Like I KNOW it’s a japanese show and they can’t know all the impli--but i mean, but i

“Most Underappreciated Part of a Pizza Hero: Crust”

oh HELL YEAH

OH HELL YEAH

also btw i really like Edgeshot’s voice. especially during the Kamino arc. it’s like, hypnotically chill

its him... finally... the bastard of lore.... i’ve heard whispers of this fucker

oh like he’s an ASSHOLE-ASSHOLE

“Who are you trying to make happy with that statement? Stain?” O H SO like he’s an A S S H O L E

Mirko: “You’re an asshole. ...I LIKE that” 

how quick i am to stan two separate characters within 30 seconds of meeting them

what arrogance. what audacity. what flippant fucking disregard. i’d like TWELVE of him please.

Hawks: -speaks- Me:

you know whats great? you know whats fantastic? his whole wing motif. because it doesn’t matter that Endeavor’s like 6′5″, Hawks can still float above him and condescend to him 

hes looking down his fucking nose at this man. ICONIC.

Hawks: “Just so everyone knows, I have a higher approval rating than Endeavor, and I have more fans, and my hair is way better than his. Anyway, you wanted to microphone, Bitch Boi?”

REALLY vibing with Hawks’ sarcasti-clapping of Endeavor’s speech to a completely silent audience

ASJSAHJAS, AN ICON. #1 HERO OF MY HEART, HAWKS

“Shame” as a quirk is a hilarious concept. And also how do you discover this? “Little Timmy’s fly was open at school and he promptly took out a wall”

and Hawks just fucking DECKS him from behind. LOVE the bait and switch of Shame-Man being important.

Endeavor: “Is he... is he dead?” Hawks: “Hot pot!! :DD”

The stupidest looking dog. i LOVE it

Just jumping in front of a truck for NO narrative reason other to have Hawks’ feathers save it

while hawks is STILL TALKING ABOUT FOOD

I MEAN BITCH SAME, BITCH RELATABLE, BUT LIKE

CHEEKY. love his stupid bits of English.

the autograph signing scene was basically just the Talent Show episode of Spongebob where Squidward and Spongebob do exactly the same thing, Spongebob being met with uproarious applause and Squidward being met with dead silence.

me buying shit in a craft store i cannot possibly need nor use, but it was shiny and only $5

Hawks calls Tokoyami “Tsukuyomi”?? am i missing something there or did he straight up get the name wrong?

Hawks: “I tried to scout your son but turns out he’s a failure. Runs in the family? :D”

85% of the reason I’m loving Hawks is because he’s JUST here to make Endeavor’s life harder, and that’s something I support every day of the week.

Hawks: “I just want to complain about how nothing happened today and then go to bed”

That one’s not a joke thats a direct fucking quote and WOW BITCH SAME

Endeavor: “how do you know about these Nomu rumors?” Hawks: “I’m a nosy bitch who loves gossip and can’t mind my own business? How would I not know about this???”

I understand this is a serious and dramatic screenshot, but also I’m too caught up in the notion that - when experiencing some strong emotion - Todo can’t help but just Light Himself A Little On Fire

Deku: “Good morning Todoroki! Are you ready for our English test today? :D” Shouto: -catches fire- Shouto: “...Our what”

Lunchrush: “Hey there, what can I get you?” Shouto: “The cold soba” Lunchrush: “All out of cold soba, sorry” Shouto: -catches fire- “That’s fine. Just the ramen then.”

Endeavor: “Hey.. son... Shouto... I’ve been thinking... With all the steps I’ve made to be a better hero, don’t you think maybe it’s time you forgive me?” Shouto: -actively on fire. 100% encased in flame- “Let me think about it.”

[simplytheevebest]

I posted 1,167 times in 2022

That's 1,167 more posts than 2021!

175 posts created (15%)

992 posts reblogged (85%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@eves-da-best

@youleavethetardisbrakeson

@astrid-v

@evebestt

@faytalepsy

I tagged 1,048 of my posts in 2022

Only 10% of my posts had no tags

#eve best - 828 posts

#fate the winx saga - 430 posts

#ftws - 419 posts

#house of the dragon - 411 posts

#fate winx saga - 404 posts

#hotd - 402 posts

#fate: the winx saga - 400 posts

#rhaenys targaryen - 380 posts

#rhaenys velaryon - 373 posts

#farah dowling - 334 posts

Longest Tag: 136 characters

#i just don't agree with the creators explanation of motherhood and making it sound like rhaenys could've ended the war before it started

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

An absolutely wild theory, but after talking to my cousin and showing her the scenes (she is a video editing wizard) I am thinking they filmed Farah's scenes separately. Like entirely. The camera angles and positioning of the characters is done in such a way that they don't ever explicitly interact or touch until the end when Bloom and Farah hug. And even then, we don't see Bloom's face when she hugs Farah, nor Farah's face when they show Bloom. And it's not like the hug in s1, where it was shown from multiple angles but clearly it was the actors.

I don't know, the blocking of the scenes is very deliberate, I feel like, where they stand separate in the old house and the lighting on Farah's face is different from the lighting with the others. Which if this is true, highlights again how lucky we are to have gotten those scenes from Eve Best if this was all they could arrange with her schedule on House of the Dragon (and also why we didn't get any Silrah scenes).

Edit: okay so not so wild after all! @eves-da-best found this article (thank you my dear) where the actors explain Eve Best actually filmed scenes on the HotD set and her lines on her phone to send over. So we can acknowledge how AMAZING it is that she would be willing to do that now that she is, as Eliot Salt said best "a House of the Dragon icon."

230 notes - Posted September 16, 2022

#4

Sky: Can I ask you for dating advice?

Saul: Just because I'm with Farah doesn't mean I know how I did it

250 notes - Posted July 26, 2022

#3

Farah, post s2, alive and well as it should be: I learned some very valuable lessons from this

Saul: I’m guessing they are all horrible distortions on the lessons you actually should’ve taken away

Farah: Death isn’t real, and I’m basically God

259 notes - Posted September 17, 2022

#2

S2 Has Officially Broken Me, or the Farah the Fern AU Nobody in Their Right Mind Would Ever Ask For

So I don't see why Farah the fern couldn't have been a thing. Like okay she can't retain a physical form for extended periods of time while her magic recharges and they figure out how to give her a physical form for good, so just keep her in a pot on the desk. Zap her with some magic when you want a chat like a magic, magic 8 ball.

I'm just imagining Saul at her desk doing the paperwork that's technically part of her job and she's a fern so she can't do anything except, I don't know, change colors? Wave leaves? Maybe as she regains more magic she can change plants, so she keeps turning into a cactus and Saul knows that means she doesn't want him doing her work and she knows that he knows but he just ignores her like "sorry I don't speak plant."

This has the same energy as invisible Stella chucking plants to the floor when the girls talked about something and she disagreed. Like imagine they take turns showing her around the school and talking to her so she doesn't feel left out or cooped up in her office because she's a literal plant and can't leave. And Riven carries around a potted plant for a whole afternoon with ridiculous commentary until Musa appears with actual Farah the Fern and it turns out he's been talking to a normal plant all day, so then they have to decorate the pot so that mix up doesn't happen again.

And there's an argument about keeping her in the common room of the suite at night because they all want her near but maybe she'd like to be in her own quarters? Will she get lonely? And Saul steps in like "alright, enough, if Headmistress Dowling is sleeping anywhere it's with me" and then he has to contend with the shit-eating grins of his students for that little slip up and poor Farah just has to listen to all of this.

I might have cried out all my braincells with this AU guys, but I'm not sorry ❤️ it's making me laugh, that's what matters

Edit: this is now a thing! Farah the Fern Masterlist

260 notes - Posted September 17, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Okay but can we talk about the face Rhaenys made when Daemon suggested the Blacks "had Meleys" without even asking her if she was supporting them?

She literally went:

262 notes - Posted October 24, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[onesillybeach]

New Beginnings Ch. 18

F!Reader x Liu Kang/Kung Lao

This one is short and I'm so sorry. Please don't hate me. Also, yay Helena cameo~ But also, aw, Helena cameo ;-;

@ancientowlgirl @poor-unfortunate-soul-85 @shang-hung

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 *15 16 *17

You two hadn’t had sex. You’d made out. You’d talked. You’d made out some more. You’d talked some more. You’d fallen asleep with Liu in his bed. His light snores had lulled you to sleep comfortably. Finally, relaxed.

You’d woken up the next morning when Liu had shifted. You felt his lips on your forehead and smiled before opening your eyes to look at him.

“Good morning,” Liu said softly.

“Sure is,” you said, then returned the kiss, but to his lips.

“Didn’t mean to wake you.”

“It’s alright.”

“Did you want to train with me this morning?”

Yes. You did… But you trained with Lao in the morning. And today was supposed to be Lao’s day with you as well. If you ditched him for Liu… You didn’t want to think what would happen. But, instead of telling Liu that, you shook your head and snuggled under his covers, inhaling his scent. “I’m gonna sleep a bit more. I’ll see you at breakfast?”

He grinned and nodded as he got out of bed. “Take your time,” he told you, grabbing his gi-top from the floor and tossing it into a basket. He took another moment to watch you with a smile before stepping out into the hall.

As weird as it was to notice, Raiden had not been acting like himself lately. Him being distant wasn't new. Raiden had seemed to keep a distance between everyone. But as you trained with Kung Lao, you noticed Raiden watching with a solemn expression.

When you finished training, Lao had given you a kiss. Oh, that kiss. It wasn’t a simple kiss. No. You’d learned that Lao wasn’t a fan of giving you those little pecks. When he kissed you, he did so with purpose. He’d held your face. His lips engulfed you. That alone could be all the encouragement you needed to train harder. As he pulled away, your smile brought him to smile in return. You could tell the kiss encouraged him as well. It was a reward for both of you. But instead of following him to Breakfast, you told him you would catch up later.

You watched Lao walk off… watched his ass a bit selfishly, then turned your attention towards Raiden. He was watching you.

You gave him a respectful bow.

He gave you a bow of his head.

"Lord Raiden," you addressed as you approached him. "Are you alright?"

He raised his brows to you. "Of course I am, Y/F/N."

"You don't look it," you pressed.

Raiden took in a stiff breath. "I assure you, I am fine."

"You can't lie to a nurse," you told him. "We know better."

That got a little chuckle from him. "You are quite observant."

"I was trained for it."

"I suppose you were."

"So what's bothering you? Is it me? Am I not training hard enough?"

"You are doing well."

“The kiss? Was that awkward for you?”

“No.”

"Then what is it?"

Raiden sighed. His glowing eyes shifted away from you. "Your issue has painfully reminded me of my own."

"Of the person you loved?" You’d remembered.

"I still love," he corrected you.

"Didn't you say it's been like five-hundred years?"

He nodded.

"They're… still alive?"

"...No.”

"Oh..." You weren’t sure what to say.

Raiden sucked in another breath. You could tell this was difficult for him to talk about. "She was killed in a tournament."

"What was her name?"

Raiden frowned a bit. "Helena Morana," he'd breathed.

You blinked at him. "A human?"

He nodded.

"What was she like?"

“Just and selfless. She used her magic to help others, even myself.”

"She was a witch?"

“A sorceress.”

"Like Shang Tsung?"

Raiden frowned. "No. Not like Shang Tsung. Shang Tsung is a snake corrupted by evil… Helena Morana… My Helena… Was once a beacon of light and hope for me." As Raiden stared at you, you could tell he was hurting. You could see the pain in his eyes. He wanted to say something else, but no words came from his lips. You frowned to him.

"You are concerned for me?" Raiden asked, now amused.

You nodded. "She must have meant a lot to you.”

“She still does.”

You were quiet then. The way he spoke of Helena, as if she still existed, made you wonder. He must have read your mind again, because he chuckled and nodded. He then offered you his arm. You took it carefully despite your confusion. He began to lead you through the halls.

"What do you know of Mortal Kombat's history?" He asked you curiously.

You cringed. History was never your forte. You barely passed your history classes in highschool. And you honestly didn't remember much of what Liu had told you. You blew out your cheeks.

"Ah." Raiden nodded, not at all disappointed. "It is a complicated history. Do not worry."

"Liu told me all kinds of things. I just…" You made a vague motion with your free hand.

"It is alright. You are being forced to learn much in little time."

"Yeah…" You frowned despite Raiden's understanding.

"He did not mention my Helena?" He asked.

You shook your head. “I don’t think so. I know he told me about a bunch of people, but I think I would have remembered your girlfriend. It’s kind of… odd.” He lifted a brow to you then. You quickly tried to explain yourself. “I mean. You don’t usually hear about gods falling in love with humans… Except for like, Greek mythology.”

Raiden laughed. A good laugh. But he said nothing as he continued to lead you through the halls. Eventually, they grew totally unfamiliar. You'd never seen this part of the temple, but you knew you were deep in. The air smelled different… musty.

Raiden stopped before a large wooden door and turned to look at you. "Prepare yourself. I know mortals are rather uncomfortable with what rests behind this door.” And before you could answer, the door had opened and revealed to you the source of that musty smell.

Tombs. Catacombs. Hundreds--No, thousands— of bodies were at rest, lined neatly along the walls, dressed in robes. Most of them were nothing but skeletons now. Some seemed mummified. You quickly realised who these people were as you stepped in: Monks. Your brows knotted. Why had Raiden brought you here? And why weren’t you grossed out?

Probably because you’d seen your fair share of disgusting things. Being a nurse wasn’t all bandaids and booster shots.

“Come,” Raiden said, pulling you from your head. You turned to see him walking further into the catacombs. You quickly followed. “Those who perish in my service, do not go forgotten,” Raiden said.

“Are all of these people… Did they all serve you?”

“Yes,” he simply answered. The further he led you, the more you were grateful he was there to guide you. The catacombs were an absolute maze.

“This place is insane…” You whispered as you looked from one body to the next.

“Those here are only the ones who wished to be here… or had no other place to go.”

You turned your head to look up at him.

“You may be put to rest here as well, if you choose.”

Your jaw stiffened. You were sure Raiden meant that as a simple offer, and not a warning of what was to come. “Thanks…” You said. “But… I don’t think I’d match the dress code.” Joke. Humor. Always when awkwardness hit.

Raiden glanced to you. “There is no dress code.”

Maybe he just didn’t understand that it was a joke. “The robes… And the… bones. I think I’d look too fresh.” Oh, God, what was wrong with you? You weren’t a slab of meat! “I mean—”

“They were not all just bones and robes when they entered here.”

“No, I… I guess so. I just… I’m sorry. You just threw me a curve ball and I wasn’t expecting it.”

“Ah,” He nodded.

You must have followed Raiden for several more minutes before you began to notice a change. Some of the bodies wore armor instead of robes. Were those… fighters? Former Earthrealm defenders? Wait, if those ones were here… “You’re taking me to her, aren’t you?”

Raiden let a small grin pull his lips.

“How did she die?” you asked. “I know you said in a tournament, but… how?”

“Shang Tsung defeated her. He took her soul.”

The catacombs had twisted and turned the whole way so far, but Raiden now led you into a large, circular room. The walls were lined with more remains, all in different clothing. Some with beautiful armor, some in simple clothing. One section of a wall in particular caught your eye. Nine bodies, each with their own burning incense, were lined up on their own shelves. And the shelves and remains themselves were neat and clean. Stepping closer to them, you could hardly see a speck of dirt nor dust on either of them. It was such a stark contrast to the rest of the bodies in the room, and in the rest of the catacombs, where the bodies had mostly seemed left alone. But these nine seemed actively taken care of. Why?

“Kung Lao’s ancestors,” Raiden answered your curiosity.

Lao’s ancestors. Nine of them? Surely there were more...

“This room is for Earthrealm’s former defenders,” Raiden answered your thoughts again.

“So these are all the past Kung Laos?” You asked, stepping back to look them all over as a whole. “Then this one here—” you pointed to the one you figured was the oldest.

“The Great Kung Lao,” Raiden answered. He sighed then and rested his hand on the edge of a raised, open, sarcophagus in the center of the room. “And this is my Helena,” Raiden said slowly, painfully. He wouldn’t even look at his lover’s remains. It was too painful. You looked, though. You couldn’t help yourself. You’d stepped right over and peered down into the stone sarcophagus.

She wore a dark dress. You weren’t sure what color it used to be. She wore simple shoes, not too different from the ones you were offered by the temple. Her hands were folded neatly over her stomach. Her hair was long and black and draped over her shoulders. And you could tell, even with how horribly sunken her face was, how mummified she was, that she used to be pretty… gorgeous even. You frowned at the sight. “She’s beautiful, Lord Raiden,” you said softly.

A small, single sound of disbelief left him. “She is nothing but brittle skin and bone now.”

“Well… Yeah,” Your frown sunk. You supposed it did sound silly to say such a grotesque sight was beautiful. “But… That’s not how you remember her.”

Raiden nodded, then let his grin come back to his face. “No, it is not.”

“She’s beautiful, Lord Raiden,” You repeated.

“She is,” he agreed.

[achaoticeternal]

Confidentiality Agreement  [Asset Protection - Part 2]

masterlist // taglist

part 1

RANSOM DRYSDALE X READER

A/N: With so many people requesting a part 2 within the first 24 hours of the work being up, I just hade to write a part. I’m so happy you guys enjoyed my Ransom work! Lots of love!

Summary: With the Thrombey clan in quite the rabbit hole, Random and Linda decide it’s best for you to relocate. Will you adjust and stay safe? Word Count: 2.9k Warning(s): Language, Shirtless Ransom, Stalking, creepiness??

The three of you - Linda, Ransom, and yourself - sat in Harlan’s old office, attempting to discussing plans for a temporary living situation for yourself. For the past half hour, Ransom and Linda had been bickering back and forth about what was appropriate and what would work for all three of you.

“I understand that it would be efficient to have her here, but you already have one investigation going on in this house. Do you want two?” Ransom asked his mother as he si[[ed the brandy from his old-fashioned glass.

“I am not putting my secretary up in some Boston motel or hotel. The world has proven itself to be to dangerous even for a simple girl to be left alone,” Linda spoke as she scribbled words onto a sticky note, “and we still don’t know who invited that backwoods Kentucky detective.”

It somewhat surprised you that the pair could easily talk about you as if you were just another business pawn or not even in the same room as them. “Pardon me, I’m sorry, but I believe Hugh is trying to present another solution.”

Ransom’s nose crinkled slightly when you used his real name. He knew it was only because you were in front of his mother, but it didn’t settle right with him - or at least that is how he put it, “Exactly. I think that the solution is right in front of our nose and we just need to address it.”

There was a pause in the room. 

“Well, go on then,” Linda gestured at her son.

“(Y/N) needs to come stay with me. I have the room in my house, and she’s familiar with me and my habits. Ever since you put her on my tail, I’ve been more ‘behaved’. She’ll have her own room, an office, internet connection. She’ll be quite...” Ransom glanced over to you. His eyes met yours before scanning your face and returning his gaze to your eyes, “comfortable with me.”

The office fell into silence once again as Linda thought over the situation. Maybe you wouldn’t be with her directly and everything her son had said was one hundred percent true. He did come up with quite to solution.

“Fine, but you need to drive her to my office every Thursday and join her on any outings until things seem to calm down in both our current situations,” Linda’s attention turned to you and she sighed, “I guess you should go get your things gathered and pack to stay with Ransom until this all - blows over.”

                                                        -     -     -

“Mother I- I didn’t have much say in any of it. Everything just - no, I understand that, mother. You know coming home couldn’t be an option. I understand the severity of - No, she, - yes okay, the whole family needs me here still. I can’t pause my life just because some creep hid a note- Yes I understand that I was in the ER...” Your mother continued to nag in your ear as you packed your toiletries away. 

Entering your room again, you started skimming over the various suitcases and bags on your bed. Then you crossed over to your desk to make sure all your necessary technology was packed away. This routine kept looping - mother in your ear, frantically checking bags again, finding something else you mostly likely needed.

It didn’t stop until you heard a cough in your doorway. Turning, you caught Ransom leaning against the door frame, an eye brow raised in amusement at your frenzied state.

“Mother, I’ll call you once everything is settled and I don’t have a thousand emails to respond to. I love you too. Yes, tell grandmama I love her. Yes- okay. Bye now,” you hung up the phone and looked to Ransom for any relief.

He walked up to you and glanced over your face just like in Harlan's office. His eyes gave away his thought process of what to say or how to react to your current emotional and mental state. It seemed he finally made a decision when he grabbed your hand, almost in reassurance. 

Ransom opened his mouth to talk, but closed it quickly. His nose scrunched and he licked his lips before beginning to talk again, “I’ll start taking your finished bags to the car.”

                                                       -     -     -

“Do I need to give you a tour, or do you think you know your way around the house?” Ransom quipped, stepping into the modern playboy bachelor pad. Behind him, you tugged in two large suitcases, a  travel bag for toiletries hanging off one shoulder, and your laptop bag hanging off the other shoulder. Should you have made two trips to the car instead? Yes. Should Ransom also at least offered to help? Yes.

Sometimes, it seemed to slip your mind that though Ransom was kinder to you than he was to his family sometimes, he still was never the picture-perfect gentlemen. It didn’t matter if his background fit the story, Ransom never tried to be a gentleman to get further, he just learned how to manipulate things his way.

“Well, I mean, a real tour doesn’t sound bad. You’ve never given me one before and it lets you go ahead and let me know where you don’t want me to go,” You attempted to pull the suitcases over the little bump in the doorway, but they wouldn’t budge with both you and the items being so weighted down, “Can I just get a little bit of help please?”

Ransom sighed, taking both suitcases from your grip. He pushed down the extended handles and picked them up by the clothed handles. Lifting them with ease, he started walking towards the living room and you followed behind him quickly, muttering a small thank you.

“Alright, I’ll show you your room and where you can set up a small office or workspace if you happen to need it,” he set the suitcases down against the wall and you placed your bags on the couch for temporary holding. 

“Sounds good. And then dinner?”

“Sure. We can order delivery I guess.”

“Delivery? Ransom, I’m sure there’s something in this glamorous bachelor’s pad we could make,” you offered him a kind smile, “Besides, it can be some sort of payment or thank you for letting me stay with you for a while.”

The blonde smirked and shook his head a little bit, “I don’t quite mind you being here, you know that you’re one of the few people I... tolerate.”

His words caused a small giggle under your breath, “Okay, so which room will I be in?”

“Follow me,” he walked with a swagger across the floor and began to ascend the stairs. You tried to keep up behind him, but for the first time, you noticed how homey his house was. Fine pieces of art and autographs on the wall, a modern statue that fits well under the modern stairs. If there were pictures of children and a married couple as well, it could’ve been misread as a family home. Shaking your thoughts, you jogged up the rest of the stairs so Ransom wouldn’t think you were lagging behind.

“So this room,” he stepped into the first door on the right, “is my office. I really don’t use it that much, if at all. You’re welcome to set up whatever you like, however you like if you prefer a more formal office.”

“This looks like an office an author would use or sit in for hours.”

Ransom shook his head, “Harlan hopped that would be precisely why I used the office and why it’s eerily similar to his own. But I’ve been clearing out the large bookcases because I’m a man who really enjoys using his space. Let me show you the room, I think you’ll like it.”

The pair of you exited and walked across the to the second door on the left. When he opened the door, he revealed a room that looked like a hotel would book for hundreds - if not a thousand - dollars a night. The queen-sized bed had a white duvet with pillows of soft green hues.with a brass bed frame and bar headboard. A large, birch dresser was against the wall in front of the bed and had a large flat-screen TV mounted above it. One large window took up most of the wall across from the door where you stood. A brass bar lined the top and white, translucent curtains hung at either side. Outside, you could see both the woods and a lively town in the distance, yet also see the watercolor sky. It was absolutely beautiful. 

“Wow, Ransom, this is- perfect,” you were awe-struck.

“I just kind of guessed. I knew you preferred a minimalist aesthetic with a touch of chic so it kind of worked out,” He gave you a half-smile, “so, I’ll bring your bags up later, but dinner?”

“Right. Let’s go dig through that kitchen of yours and see what we can whip up?” You exited the room with Ransom on your tail.

“We?” He questioned.

You looked over your shoulder and threw him a playful smile, “Well it’s not like you’re going to be overly helpful so I’ll be cooking 85% of the meal while you help with a small 15%,” You stopped in your tracks as you looked towards his end of the hall, “Ransom, what behind that door next to your bedroom door?”

“I guess it’s what you would call a man cave. When old friends drop by and their wives are around, the guys and I hang out in there where I keep the good liquor,” he said seamlessly, “No female has ever passed through that door.”

“Ah, alrighty then,” You continued down the stairs with Ransom stalking down behind you, “I better not find leftovers that are older than a week in your fridge. Your mother will have me cleaning it out and I don’t need that.”

Both of you made your way into the kitchen. Ransom leaned against the counter by the sink and pulled out his phone. He knew well enough by now that you’d probably pick out something decent to make and wouldn’t poison him quite yet, or at least that’s how you perceived. 

“Alexa, play Two Chellos,” you called out to the AI before opening the pantry. Inside, it was well-organized thanks to one of your most recent visits. The spice rack was manageable and there was a clear distinction between his pre- and post-workout snacks. You pulled out a bag of jasmine rice and placed it onto the marble island. 

Then, you crossed to the fridge and opened its double doors. First searching through the vegetable door, you grabbed a head of broccoli for a second side to the dish. Once placing it on the island behind you, you started to search for chicken breasts, but your search came to a still. A hand rested itself on your hip as Ransom seemed to accidentally press himself against you as he reached for a water bottle above your head, “Pardon me.” 

Once he stepped away, you let out the breath you were holding in. You shook your head and took a deep breath, reminding yourself that small touch meant absolutely nothing. Grabbing the chicken and broccoli, you stepped away from the fridge and walked to the counter to begin prepping.

“Will you start cubing the chicken while I start on the broccoli and rice?” You asked, bending down to get to cutting board out of a cabinet. When you faced him again, he just seemed to look at you confused. “Never mind, just fill up a small pot with a cup of water and put it on to boil, please.” 

He set his phone face down on the counter as he pulled a small pot off one of the hanging fixtures. Then he made his way across the kitchen as you began to cut the broccoli florets from the stem. Once that was completed and the broccoli was separated into a bowl, you began trimming any leftover fat from the chicken breasts. Finally, you cubed the chicken and scrapped it into a separate bowl.

You crossed towards the sink to drop off the knife and cutting board, along with washing your hands, “Can you please get the soy sauce, honey, brown sugar, and sesame seeds out of the pantry?”

“Yes ma’am,” Ransom strolled into the pantry to get the needed ingredients for the marinade. Once your hands were clean from any chicken bacteria, you went to the stove to take the rice off the heat and fluff it. Then again, you set it to the side and placed a pan onto the gas lit eye of the stove top.

Ransom returned and placed the items, along with the bowl of chicken, on the counter adjacent to you before exiting the kitchen. You hummed to the tune of the cellos as you continued preparing supper. 

As you were stirring the chicken and broccoli in the teriyaki sauce of the pan, Ransom came up behind. His hips pressed against your lower back and his left hand met your hip. The close proximity entranced you by his warmth and his scent, until he placed a glass of white wine to the right of you. His right hand traced up your arm until his fingers rested under your chin.

With ease, Ransom turned your head to look up at him. He closed his eyes, took a sniff of the food cooking in the pan, and the corner of his mouth twitched up slightly. He opened his eyes again, “Dinner smells... delicious.”

Your heart beat against your chest and you realized how close your faces were. Licking your lips, you glanced down to his and back to his eyes before taking a shallow breath. You tried to savor what you could of the moment, but it could easily escalate too quickly, so you asked, “Would you be so kind as to grab us some plates?”

                                                      -     -     -

After diner, the pair of you decided to call it an early night since the past 36 hours had been quite an en devour. All too quickly your life had changed and you barely had time to react, much less cope. So you had taken a nice warm shower, and then slipped into some simple striped, cotton pajamas. 

Everything was peaceful. The fan blowing softly, the Alexa at your nightstand playing rain sounds, and the ease of sleep was astonishing. This was all until a loud crash, like glass breaking, echoed from the kitchen. If that wasn’t enough to only wake you, the loud rev of an engine could awaken a bear in hibernation.

In record time, Ransom was in your room, “Are you okay? Did anything happen up here?” He held a long, narrow knife in one hand as he stood at the foot of your bed in nothing but a tight pair of briefs. 

“I-I’m fine,” You responded, short of breath, 

His brows scrunched together as his mind raced with various thought before, “I’m going downstairs to check,” and he exited.

“No no no, I’m coming with you,” crawling out from the blankets and satin sheets. If an intruder was still in the house, Ransom could most likely overpower them better and quicker than you could. 

He motioned for you to stay behind him, but close, as the pair of you crept down the stairs together. Each step seemed to slow down time and make it harder to breath. This is supposed to be a safe place. Somewhere to lay low and live easy.

You both stalked towards the kitchen, lights coming on with Ransom’s call to the Alexa. Everything was clear. Any intruder was gone. 

As Ransom searched around to verify it was only to pair of you in the house, you looked around the kitchen. Something felt off, but everything still looked the same. You crossed over towards the sink where dirty pans sat when a small twinkle caught your eye. 

Once you approached the sink, the twinkle was confirmed to be a wine glass - the very glass you used earlier that night - that lay shattered on the floor in a pool of red wine. Next to the spill laid a piece of paper.

“RANSOM! Hurry!!!” you yelled out to him as tears began to spill from your eyes.

His stomps echoed at the walls as he met you in the kitchen. Once he saw the you were unharmed besides your tears, he hugged you too his chest. When he didn’t feel you relax into him, he turned his head to wheres your eyes were locked on the floor.

“Fuck!” He let you go as he knelled down to snatch up the paper. He opened it and his eyes scanned the page. He folded it back before standing and pulling you back into his chest. 

No matter how many times he shushed you or rubbed circles against your back, nothing calmed. You wouldn’t be able to relax into him until you saw what the note said.

“I- I need to read it.”

Ransom let you go and opened the paper for you to read. Wiping away your tears, you read:

Maybe a change in scenery will do you some good. You can run, but you can’t hide. Many truths are sure to surface soon

Xx

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ransom drysdale taglist:

@melannie77 @heyiamthatbitch @hughrxnsomdrysdale @bval-1 @electrictaurus @princess-evans-addict @swagmonstertoes @everythingaboutnothingstuff @givemebooksorgivemedeath @widowlcver @bookgirlunicorn @wangdeasang @dumblani @anhelz @underratedmisfit @moonlightmvrvl @mrspeacem1nusone

asset protection taglist:

@thicc-daddy-evans @shygirl-00 @livingoffsavvyillusions @ms-betsy-fangirl @jessyballet @melannie77 @heyiamthatbitch @lil-lex1 @hughrxnsomdrysdale @bval-1 @electrictaurus @imsonick @princess-evans-addict @elsasshole @cheshire-salvatore-mikaelson @swagmonstertoes @everythingaboutnothingstuff @just-add-butter @insposcollective @widowlcver @sir-samus @wangdeasang @my-favorite-fics-and-imagines @underratedmisfit​ @moolightmvrvl @jianawoods @canny1902​ @aamcqueeny​

** a strike through your username means I couldn’t tag you :(

[adultswim2021]

Space Ghost Coast to Coast #85: “In Memory of Elizabeth Reed” | December 7, 2003 - 11:30 PM | S08E04

Happy 20th anniversary, Adult Swim. And, boy, what a momentous episode of Ghost do we have here to celebrate. There are a number of episodes where the guest is an event unto itself and this is truly one of them. Frequent punchline William Shatner is an absolute cunt... and a proper legend. His cuntiness and legendary status are two things that seem to be at odds with one another, and the Space Ghost crew have managed to come up with an artfully idiosyncratic episode to match Shatner’s weird-guy-ness. It’s a classic for sure, and important. But (making a “smug dipshit” face) is it funny?

YES! It’s FUNNY! I will admit though, the first time I saw this episode I didn’t quite know what to make of it. This is partially because I’m very much a Star Trek agnostic. I’ve never been into Star Trek. In the last few years I’ve watched most of the pre-Next Gen motion pictures for inane list-making reasons, and I enjoyed them to varying degrees, but Star Trek is truly not for me. I’m more of a... well, I’m not a Star Wars guy either. What’s the other one? Uh... Spaceballs. That’s it. I’m more of a Spaceballs guy.

But I feel like I’ve absorbed a lot of Star Trek lore through cultural osmosis. I vaguely understand that William Shatner has had some deliberately-paced choreographed fight scene on those rocks from Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey. When I hear music similar to the the music that Jim Carrey hums in The Cable Guy, I’m pretty sure whatever it is I’m watching is doing a Star Trek thing. And yes, I’ve watched every single Red Letter Media “Mike and Rich talk about Star Trek for 4 hours” video. But even today, after having picked up more Star Trek knowledge on my journey to the grave, I still have this nagging feeling of “I only sort of get this”.

Still, this episode has a handful of screamingly funny lines, and the episode ends wonderfully, with Space Ghost in his death throes, suffering the ultimate indignity of dying in front of William Shatner. There’s also the part where Zorak asks why everyone in Star Trek is black, and a part where Moltar nervously reads from his fan fiction (from a book labeled TARD WARS, hahaha). Shatner, who has a reputation for being arrogant and difficult, is as good a sport as one could hope. The show makes good use of his hammier moments, and only shits on him slightly in the process. The most notable moment is when Shatner says to Zorak “didn't you and I fight to the death?” to which Zorak replies “That sounds pretty dumb, man”. I’ve actually quoted this line many times. It’s one of the best.

Also, for those of you who like to track these things: the show features callbacks to other episodes and shows; the handimen at Zorak’s apartment are clearly extras from Sealab 2020/2021, one of the Leprechauns from Aqua Teen Hunger Force shows up, and there’s a poignant callback to classic Space Ghost episode “Banjo”. 

The title motif of this season is naming the episodes after Allman Brothers songs, and I always wondered about this one. Maybe I’m reaching, and it’s probably too disrespectful to be true, but I always thought that it was somehow a veiled reference to Shatner’s wife, whom he supposedly killed or let die. It’s simply too dark to be true, but it’s the first thought that immediately jumped to my mind when I first heard the title of this episode. Am I stupid for thinking this? Am I stupid because it OBVIOUSLY is a reference to that?? I simply do not know. I would like to know.

MAIL BAG

The big anniversary is upon us. What are your 20 favorite things about adult swim for 20 years going. Don't sleep on this question!

I gotta do SOMETHING special, so I might as well do this. More thought could have gone into this, but I spent about an hour trying to come up with episodes or moments from 20 different shows and putting them in rough chronological order. I limited myself to one episode/scene/moment/joke/whatever per show so it’s not all Space Ghost jokes. So, here we go:

Sealab 2021: “I, Robot”. Adult Swim proved it could be brilliant right out of the gate with the stealth premiere of “I, Robot”, but for Sealab it’s all downhill from here. (2000)

Space Ghost Coast to Coast: Space Ghost stops in his tracks to reminisce about the time Bobcat Goldthwait said "crack a window". The entire episode “Kentucky Nightmare” is brilliant, but this moment in particular so uniquely captures my sense of humor that it’s inexplicable. The dumb look on Space Ghost’s face when he stops in his tracks. Goddamn. (2001)

Aqua Teen Hunger Force: “Mayhem of the Mooninites” I tried very hard to make this all be individual jokes or scenes or whatever, but this is another episode where the entire thing is just line after line and I can’t really pick. This, “I Robot”, and “Kentucky Nightmare” is like a perfect trio illustrating how good Adult Swim really was right out of the gate. (2001)

Home Movies: Jason casually reveals that his parents have no idea who Brendon and Melissa are and that he spends most of his free-time making movies with them. This is the episode “Storm Warning” which is overall one of the best episodes of Home Movies, but this scene is probably my favorite. Illustrates how simple and hilarious the comedy is on this show. (2002)

Tom Goes to the Mayor: the end scene in “Undercover”, where they’ve shoddily reversed Tom’s various unnecessary surgeries and called him “Taumpy Tears” to boot. Positively sublime. (2006)

Metalocalypse: Dr. Rockso’s music video. From the episode “Dethclown”. I was never in love with this show as much as the true fans were, but there were a handful of incredible episodes. This episode basically tells one joke over and over and it’s very funny. It really ends with a bang showcasing Dr. Rockso’s shitty music video that celebrates cocaine use. His singing voice is hilarious. (2006)

Assy McGee: I am the only person in the world that defends Assy McGee as being “actually pretty good” and it’s all entirely due to this one line: Assy McGee (a pair of naked buttocks with legs, whose ass functions as his head) is forced to attend a black tie event and is just milling around wearing nothing but a black bow tie. Through clenched anus he delivers the line “I can barely breathe in this penguin suit”. The whole show is worth it for that joke. I don’t even know what episode it is except that it’s from one of the first few. I might not even have the line exactly right. But, I remember laughing so hard. I may not have laughed at Assy McGee again. (2006)

Saul of the Mole Men: The opening theme song. And nothing else. (2007)

Tim & Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!: Jim and Derrick. I should pick something more user-friendly maybe, since this episode almost entirely relies on being familiar with Tim & Eric’s previous episodes. But goddamn, this episode is such a funny concept (which is basically Tim & Eric doing an alternate MTV-ified version of Awesome Show) (2008)

Moral Orel: “Numb”. When Moral Orel suddenly stopped being a quirky Adult Swim comedy and suddenly started doing episodes that resembled art films. This episode is a fucking masterpiece. I remember sobbing the first time I saw it. There are a few in season 3 that are like that, but this one is my favorite. (2008)

Check it Out! with Dr. Steve Brule: Terry Bruge-Hiplo reviews “Dumpster’s Children”. Another bit of comedy that I’d describe as “inexplicable” and “sublime”, and it all hinges on an old man’s mouth. Holy fuck. I don’t think I’ve laughed harder than this at a TV show since. (2010)

Delocated: The ending of “Mole”, an extended Face/Off riff where Jon goes undercover as the scary mobster Sergei. In the final moments of the episode he marries a woman, fathers multiple children with her, and only then is pulled out of the mission. The episode is a tour-de-force of comic acting by Steve Cirbus, who is graciously allowed to shine for most of the episode. But man, that ending is fucking wonderful. (2010)

Venture Bros.: The ending of “Operation P.R.O.M.” a flurry of emotions hit me when “Like a Friend” by Pulp starts playing. The scene is so well done and weirdly touching. Brock realizes that deep down he gives a shit about the Venture family and is genuinely terrified something might happen to them. And then he gets to slaughter a bunch of Zorak monsters, which is also weirdly sweet. It’s even touching on a meta-level knowing that Jackson and Doc tried many times and failed to include licensed music in the show. I love Venture Bros, but I think we’d all be better off if this were the series finale. Sorry. I had to say it. (2010)

The Heart She Holler: The first scene with Patton being taught the way of the world posthumously by his father on a VHS tape. The first season of this show is amazing, but that scene, especially where Patton does a little Japanese bow and says “oh, hot dog!” is just hysterical. Literally every time a hot dog comes up in conversation my wife and I quote it. Please, do not scorn her, it’s not racist when SHE does it. (2011)

Eagleheart: The All That Jazz inspired finale. “Paradise Rising” is mostly a masterpiece, and how it ends is so fucking incredible. Easily the most under-rated show on Adult Swim and I’m not just saying that because... you know (mimes dick-sucking) (2014)

Rick and Morty: I watched the first two episodes of Rick and Morty, thought it was good, but for some reason didn’t become a devotee until my wife made me watch the Mr. Poopybutthole episode. It’s still my favorite episode, I think. (2015)

Brett Gelman’s Dinner in America: The “Dinner with” specials are all really good, but goddamn, this one hits. Should be shown in schools. I am going to go to every grade school in my county with an AR-15 (to get past the guards, of course) and I won’t leave until they call an assembly and they let me fumble around trying to find it on vimeo and play it for the students. (2016)

The Eric Andre Show: Eric interviews Steve Schirripa. The bit where he has an intern dip his balls in Steve’s spaghetti sauce is hilarious, naturally, but I’m here to showcase the running gag where every time Steve complains how hot the studio is, Eric just wordlessly hands him an ice cube until Steve explodes. It’s one of the most childishly hilarious things I’ve ever seen. It’s perfect. (2016)

Million Dollar Extreme Presents: World Peace: The Pick-Up artist sketch. I’m mostly unimpressed with MDE, and all but a few Sam Hyde bits leave me cold. But this sketch is a crowning achievement. I mean, I think these guys suck politically and are more mean than funny, but their sensibilities yielded one really incredible piece of comedy. Okay, I laughed at the blackface sketch too. There. You dragged it out of me. (2016) Joe Pera Talks With You: This show is beautiful and I love every episode. But the episode “Joe Pera Reads You The Church Announcements” Wherein Joe discovers a new-to-him song and can’t stop listening to it, is one of the most joyous episodes of television I’ve ever seen. A gateway episode. I tell everyone to please watch this one first. (2018)

[ecbenvolio]

Antique (Affectionate)

“This is all junk,” says the man I presume to be Lev of Lev’s Pawnshop and Antiques, a man who buys junk for a living.

My heart drops.

I’d rounded up my most prized possessions in hope of collecting enough money to make the month’s rent. This was my last resort.

....

GiGi was a bitter old soul, but I loved her I guess. A trained concert pianist, she lost a good deal of her hearing in the war. I was never sure which war. Or how she ended up in a torn-down rural town like this one, produced my mother and uncle before becoming a thrice-divorced widow.

When I was young, she took care of me while Mother worked the night shift. We watched game shows on a fuzzy screened television and she fed me microwave meals. I would complain that they were cold in the middle and she would throw her hands up in frustration.

“These are not the hands of a cook,” she would tell me and I would silently agree.

GiGi tried her best to teach me piano, but with her hearing the way it was it was a difficult task. And she was not Beethoven. After several frustrating attempts, she would push me off the bench and begin to play her old favorites from memory: Mozart, Debussy, Elton John.

At this point, it would be late at night and the neighbors in the apartment would bang on the walls in protest.

“GiGi,” I’d yell “Quiet!”

But I think she took that as a challenge because she would play louder and louder. I learned to fall asleep with my head in her lap and Clair de Lune ringing in my ears.

Then one day, GiGi fell and everything I knew started to crumble. Mother and Uncle decided they didn’t have time to take care of GiGi and put her in a senior home. Senior homes are expensive, I guess because they sold the piano to make it cover the cost.

That was the first time, I’d seen GiGi cry—after she tried to strangle my uncle.

....

“So here’s the deal,” Lev says, “I’ll give you 10 for the TV and 15 for the microwave. Everything else is worthless. But I can take it off your hands for a disposal fee of 25.”

I decided I did not like Lev of Lev’s Pawnshop.

“I’m not a fool,” I say “That leaves me with nothing”

“It’s the best I can offer you” he leans on the counter.

My hands tighten around my bag, and I feel the shape of my tur last resort beneath the fabric. I look at Lev, if that even is his real name, and wonder if he really robs people for a living or if I just look that vulnerable, that lost.

I sigh. “You’re sign says you also buy antiques. Well, I have an antique.”

I pull the item from my bag and Lev’s eyebrows rise.

A music box.

It’s an intricately designed piece of art, not a box in form but more of a stout cylinder. On the outer layer are carved stars and moons encased in their own frames. The top is designed with a golden model of the summer starscape. The inside is layered with the mold of an angel. In the bottom piece, another metal figure of an angel stands straight in the center, its head tilted toward the heavens.

I wind up the lever on the back of the music box and let go. There’s a slight pause, then the notes of Clair de Lune fill the shop.

The shopowner’s dull eyes light up and he snatches the music box from my hands. He pulls the pair of glasses that were sitting on the top of his head down to set on the end of his nose. Unlike the previous items, he handles the music box with care.

“Now this,” he says, “This is beautiful. Don’t tell me—you found it at an estate sale? Another pawnshop?”

“It’s none of your business where I got this from” I cross my arms and tilt my head, “You seem pretty interested.”

“What can I say? It’s a decent piece of junk,” says the man that sells junk for a living. “Pre-war, ya’know?”

I want to ask which war but that question would really steer things out of my favor. Don’t want to sound young and unknowledgeable.

“It belonged to a concert pianist.” I explain “She played in grand performance halls in the city. Until one day, during a concert, they were bombed.”

Lev scoffs, “Who plays a concert in the middle of a war?”

“Who attacks civilians in the middle of a peaceful gathering?”

“Ah. So it was that war.”

...

“It was absolute chaos,” GiGi tells me as I sit at the foot of her bed in the senior home. I’ve heard her account of the bombing of the Grand Hall dozens of times. I could recite it by heart. It doesn’t get less distressing. Yet it’s the only story she tells these days.

“I barely made it out alive. But I did. And you the song I was in the middle of playing was—”

The nurse aide knocks on the door, interrupting to bring GiGi’s lunch. Which means I’m about to get lunch. It’s a silent arrangement between GiGi and me. The home staff thinks that she only eats when I visit. But truthfully, I choke down the bland sandwich and mushy vegetables and leave her to drink her tea and eat cake in peace.

“I lived on less during the war,” GiGi would complain loudly.

(“If she doesn’t start eating better, we’ll have to set up a feeding tube,” They told the family. Mother shrugged “Do what you have to do.”)

When the nurse aide returns, GiGi is nibbling on her cake and receives exaggerated praises for how well she’s eating.

We share a look.

She’s frail. That’s a fact. Somedays, I wonder if I’m no better than my mother and uncle in how I treat her. But every time, before I leave, GiGi takes my arm, looks into my eyes, and says “You are my heart. Don’t forget that.”

And that’s how I know I’m doing something right.

...

“Great story,” Lev says, “Your execution could use some work, but I’ll tell you what: forget the microwave and the tv. I’ll give you 75 for the music box. Cash.”

Oh. Well. Seventy-five is exactly what I needed to make rent. It was just what I needed except—

“That’s a pre-war family heirloom. Two hundred.”

Lev laughs. We don’t do negotiations here, but I’ll humor you: 85.”

“One hundred seventy-five.”

“Ninety.”

“One sixty.”

“Eighty-five.”

“You’re going in the wrong direction!”

“Tell me who you stole this music box from and I’ll give you 150. Cash. Best offer.”

“I didn’t steal this,” I huff, “It’s mine.”

Lev isn’t convinced. “Take the offer and I’ll tell you where music boxes like this come from.”

“I don’t need you to tell me. It’s from my GiGi.”

“Your...GiGi…?”

I throw my hands up, “My grandmother!”

Lev’s face morphs into a sneer, “Now I know you’ve been lying. Take the offer or get out of my shop. We’re closing soon.”

He sets the music box in the middle of the counter with a resolute thud.

There’s a moment where I think about it. I consider taking the offer. But I shake my head. No. No.

I snatch up the music box, shove it in my bag and go, leaving the rest of the items that I’d brought to sell.

“Goodbye, Lev, if that’s even your real name.”

....

“Are you happy?” GiGi asks me.

She’s staring out the window of her room at the senior home, absently stirring her tea. At first, I wasn’t sure I’d heard her. It’s odd. Normally, GiGi is very loud. It was as if she wasn’t sure she wanted to know the answer to my question.

I fidget from my spot at the foot of her bed. “I’m...ok,” I answer. Because why would I burden her with my problems? I’m not the one whose children forced them into a home and sold away my most prized possession.

“Ok?” she spits back. “I don’t know what that means. OK. I asked: are. you. Happy?”

I look away. “Are you happy, GiGi?”

She laughs. It’s a deep sound, full of sarcasm.

“Your GiGi is as happy as she’ll ever be these days.”

“Well, then so am I,” I answer finally.

“That’s no good!” She sets down her tea, then grabs her walker and moves to stand. I tell her to sit down. I’ll get whatever she wants but she swats me away. GiGi slowly makes her way to the dresser on the other side of the room and pulls open the top drawer. From the drawer, she retrieves a bundle of cloth. She takes it and hobbles back to her chair.

“Here.” She thrusts the bundle at me. For a moment, I stare in disbelief, thinking that she had just thrown her laundry at me. But there was some weight to the bundle. Something is inside.

I carefully unwrap it to find a finely detailed sort of container. The outside is enveloped in the raised designs of suns and moons and stars. I slowly turn it around in my hands and run the tips of my fingers over the beautiful lines and curves. Then, gently I open the container to find a just as colorful and detailed inside. There’s a figure of an angel at the center of it all rotating as music starts to play.

It takes no more than a second for me to recognize the song as Clair de Lune. It’s a much softer and sweeter melody that I remember from my childhood.

I look at GiGi expectantly, but her eyes are closed, hands stretched in front of her and fingers playing along with the notes of the song.

I’m happy as I’ll ever be, she had said.

The music box slowed to a stop, but she kept going. Humming the notes along and playing her own personal concert.

....

I found myself humming the notes of Clair de Lune on as I made my way home. The music in my mind did nothing to keep out the anxious thoughts that bombarded my mind. What was I going to do about rent?

Asking Mother was out of the question. Uncle barely had a dollar to his name and he wasn’t going to share it with me anytime soon. If only life was simpler. If only it was like it had been in the past when I was young. All I had to worry about was going to GiGi’s for the night and picking through cold microwave meals.

As soon as I got home, I went to bed. I grabbed the music box and settled under the covers on my futon. I wound up the music box as far as it would go and set it by my head. The familiar notes of moonlight pull me into a deep sleep.

GiGi was a bitter old soul, but she loved me, I guess.

A former concert pianist, a war refugee, a mother, a grandmother. GiGi was many things. She lived to instill in others a love of music and survived each time someone tried to take music away from her.

She always said she’d leave everything to me when she passed. When she did, I inherited a music box.

I inherited the music box.

...

In hindsight, I should have known. Or maybe I just wasn’t listening closely.

In the middle of the night, I get out of bed only to hear a loud thud followed by a few unmelodious music notes. In a panic, I turn the light. At the sight before me, I close my eyes and sigh.

The music box is laying broken at my feet. I gather the pieces in my hands. The hinge popped off leaving the lid detached and the angel figure is bent at 90 degrees.

“No, no, no” I mutter. My sleep-clumsy fingers attempt to force the contraption back together. Slow disjointed notes of Clair de Lune curl into the air.

It was hopeless.

Even the bottom was falling out of the thing. A sort of morbid curiosity makes me pull at the loose piece until the bottom of the music box is completely removed. As one would expect there are the guts on the music box. But shoved in next to the playing mechanism looked like folded paper?

I pick at it with my fingertips. Could it be a note? A letter?

No.

I drop the music box again. This time though, it lands on the futon along with the paper I pulled out.

It’s...money. Bills. Cash. I counted it up, hands shaking. There was enough to cover rent and more.

Your GiGi is as happy as she’ll ever be these days.

And maybe it’s time for me to be happy, too.

[nightwingshero]

1, 15, 25, 35, 45, 55, 65, 75, 85, 95, 100 for the OC(s) of your choice.

Thank you, love!!! 

1. Does your character have good aim?

Wren: She does, actually. She’s excellent at throwing knives and such, which shocks the hell out of her. 

Whitney: NOPE. Not even a little bit. She wouldn’t try, she would either embarrass herself and say breaking her nail as the excuse not to. 

Blair: Not...really. It got somewhat better with training with Oliver, but...there’s a reason she never played any sports. It’s not really her thing.

Camille: She does now, after training with Clint and Natasha at S.H.I.E.L.D. It took her a bit longer to get it, but she did get there eventually.

Naomi: Yes! She used to play softball when she was in high school, she’s rather athletic. Good luck challenging her to a game of darts. Just saying.  

15. Did your character ever want to be a cowboy?

Wren: No, not at all. She wanted to be a rockstar astronaut at first, something her mother thought was hilarious. Wren swore up and down that Rocketman was about her, but uh...she didn’t really get the lyrics at that young of an age. 

Whitney: Absolutely not. She was definitely a princess kind of girl. Being a cowboy was never her thing, she would rather be the princess or damsel in distress that gets swept off her feet. 

Blair: Not really. She wanted to live on Mars and be an astronaut too. She loves space and always has. Blair grew up to be an astrophysicist though...close enough. 

Camille: I could see that, sure. I don’t think it was specifically a cowboy, I think she wanted to be the Lone Ranger, like the show her father watches. She would make her dad pretend to be a bank robber so she could go after him. 

Naomi: Nope. Not at all. She was more into cops and robbers or princesses, to be honest. Cowboys just didn’t really hold her attention. The only one that could was Woody from Toy Story. 

25. Does your character experience sexism for the job/title they hold? (ie: she’s a girl, she can’t be x,y,z because only boys can be)

Wren: Not necessarily sexism, but Pratt does hit on her and stupid ass comments that piss her off. It’s borderline sexist and she’s borderline ready to punch him in the face.

Whitney: Yes, she does. She was raised treated like that, honestly, and she was raised to believe it’s okay. Joseph definitely treats her like a housewife, even as Mother of Eden’s Gate. She doesn’t know better, even though it really does piss her off. 

Blair: No, not at all. Her coworkers love her and don’t at all think that she shouldn’t be doing what they’re doing. She’s smart and well-respected in her field. And that doesn’t change with the teams at all. Blair isn’t disrespected like that, that’s a big no no. She also helps Mick with being politically correct. 

Camille: It depends on which job we’re talking about. She’s had her fair share as a doctor, her knowledge and rep questioned because she’s female. Now, in S.H.I.E.L.D., she has had moments, but not nearly that many. S.H.I.E.L.D. is known for having diverse agents, and the very few she’s witnessed be assholes, she’s corrected (or Nat has rather quickly.) With the Avengers, it’s a hard no. Her place was earned and she’s respected by members of the team, and those members are quick to address those issues when they witness someone treating her that way (they drink their respect women juice.)

Naomi: As a war correspondent, absolutely. Being told that “this is no place for a girl” was something she received a lot. But she did a badass job at it. Now, S.H.I.E.L.D. was a lot better, for sure. They welcomed her and her skills for gaining intelligence with open arms, she’s a resident badass. Once S.H.I.E.L.D. is taken down, she becomes the PR for the Avengers, in which she’s someone you don’t wanna cross. She becomes highly respected. 

35. Naptime, yes or no?

Wren: YESSSS! That girl loves naps! Give her a slice of cheesecake or some ice cream right before, and she’ll curl up on the couch and nap while watching The Twilight Zone. 

Whitney: Eh, not really. Whit is normally busy with something, and she would rather be doing something productive than nap. 

Blair: Yes! Most of it is because she’s working all hours of the night on something in the lab, so when she gets home, she’s not getting enough sleep. So! Yummy hot cocoa and naps!

Camille: Eh, she’s not known for it because she works a lot during the day, but if it happens, it’s because she’s pulling long hours and needs a break. But Camille isn’t really a frequent napper, it makes her more tired, if she’s being honest.

Naomi: Nah, that’s not really her thing. She’s used to long hours, and knows that if she naps, she won’t be able to sleep that night. So she’ll power through and maybe just go to bed a bit earlier to catch up on sleep. 

45. Would your character kill someone to get what they want?

Wren: Ehhhh...that’s a hard maybe, depending of if we’re talking pre-cult or not. Wren is morally grey, and if she had to have it, she would once she’s joined Eden’s Gate. But before? Not as likely. 

Whitney: Yes! She actually has, to be honest. Joseph and the others pretty much numb her to killing someone, so she’ll poison someone who crosses her. She literally kills with kindness. 

Blair: Absolutely not. Blair doesn’t put her personal needs/wants above the value of others and their lives. She’s very much against that and couldn’t live with herself if she did. 

Camille: I have a hard time seeing it, unless it was a mission in which it needed to be done (her wanting peace, killing bad guys for it, etc), but those are few and far between because she doesn’t do a lot of the things Natasha does. But she is a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent.

Naomi: Eh, not really. If it is a “want”, its going to be revenge. But it’ll be with the right intentions and in the name of doing what’s right. She’s not as scared or worried about getting her hands dirty as long as it’s for the right reasons, not necessarily because of something she wants. 

55. Do you have any characters who despite trying their best ended up being horrible parents?

Wren: I think it would depend on how you define ‘horrible’. Because Wren tries her best to be the best mother she can be, but feels as though she’s become her father and failed Harper. Mostly because Wren kept a lot of the Wrath and Judge stuff a secret, and Harper doesn’t take kindly to that. It’s not her being a horrible mom, just making bad decisions that affect her kids (mostly Harper) negatively. 

Whitney: Yes and no. While yes, she protected her son and put him in hiding with Ivy, she still stands by Joseph for the longest time instead of leaving to be with her son and to take her daughter and sister away from danger and toxic relationships. She is able to redeem it, though. Her and Wren both, actually. 

The other three (that I chose to do this for) are good moms, so I don’t think this really applies.

65. Is your character energetic?

Wren: Oh yeah, she definitely can be when she’s comfortable. She can get pretty excited and pumped up, often making Jane, Ivy, and Whit a bit tired. Randy, Gray, and Ro just go along with it, Mel and Quinn join in and encourage it. 

Whitney: Yes and no. She really is, but she tries to keep it on a leash and not show it, because she was raised being told that it wasn’t lady like. The more she grows (as a character) and hangs with the rest of the group, she loosens up a bit. 

Blair: She can be when she’s had too much coffee. Blair is naturally mellowed out though, often being more calm. She’s not reserved at all, she just...has more of a calming upbeat presence. 

Camille: Sorta! It depends on the situation, she’s more reserved when you first meet her. There are moments when she’s with friends that she does absolutely get energetic, but she’s mostly energetic after working out or going for her morning jog. 

Naomi: No, not particularly. Like Camille, she’ll get amped up for a workout, and there may come a time where she’ll get energetic over a big event, but she’s not one to get super energetic. 

75: Do any of your characters wear glasses, sunglasses, goggles, or monocles?

Wren: She’s obsessed with aviators. She collects them, and they’re usually blue, silver, or black. She eventually steals John’s because she digs them. 

Whitney: If she’s gonna wear sunglasses, they’re either the 50′s or 60′s kind. Some cat-eyed, or those bigger glamorous butterfly styled ones. But she does have some nice Gucci and Coach glasses she’ll wear. It depends on what matches. 

Blair: She’ll wear regular sunglasses, mostly Ray Bans. She wears reading glasses from time to time, but she mainly uses contacts. Blair has a pair of backup glasses that have the tinted lens. 

Camille: She used to wear glasses when she was younger, but she eventually got Lasik, so she doesn’t wear them anymore. As for sunglasses, she wears modern cat-eyed or just rectangle ones. Anything that looks good and is her style. 

Naomi: Aviators, and that’s really it. She’s not really big into them, she has one pair of brown aviators, and that’s it. They do the job. 

85. Has your character ever been led down the wrong path because of their anger?

Wren: Absolutely. That’s the whole point of her canon, actually. The Wrath leads to her joining Eden’s Gate and becoming the Judge. She eventually redeems herself, but it does lead her down a dark path. 

Whitney: Yep. She starts killing for Eden’s Gate because of it, but it’s funny, because it’s her anger that actually helps her redeem herself and gain her freedom: killing Joseph and Ethan. 

Blair: Yes and no...? Kinda...? Like, when she woke up from her coma, she found out Carmen had left her for someone else, essentially moving on. The anger is what led to her maybe running into some unfavorable company (Leonard), where she decided to just give him her engagement ring instead of running the risk of him robbing her at the bar they happened to run into each in (his favorite bar). In her anger, she purposefully went to a bar that was known to be a frequent place for criminals. But that anger also had her moving to Star City, where she became a hero. Sometimes her anger can get her in trouble with her powers, but that gets better. It all depends on how you look at it. 

Camille: Sort of. The Civil War incident really...was something else. Camille didn’t see it as a dark path, it was what she believed was right. She was angry that something so wrong went down in Lagos, so she sees the need for restrictions and boundaries. Her siding with Tony caused turmoil between her and the others, even Steve, and it led to a huge fight at the airport while trying to bring them in. Rhodes getting hurt added salt to injury. Later, it’s shown to her that perhaps choosing the Accords was the wrong path after all. 

Naomi: Depends on how you look at it, honestly. As head of Public Relations for the Avengers, most just assumed that Naomi would be in agreement to the Accords, but she’s not. She’s angry that the government is trying to have control over them, especially after with what happened with S.H.I.E.L.D. and Hydra, she even says that to Camille when they’re fighting about it. She fully believes Steve and sticks with them as things become divided, and she becomes a fugitive right along with them. So, depending on what side you’re on, it’s either yes or no. 

95. If given total rule over a country, would your character step aside to turn it into a democracy?

Wren: I think this depends. I think, yes, for the most part. Wren isn’t one to be a leader, she would rather not, but can rise to the occasion when needed and if she knows it’s better she’s in charge. But she would want everything to be fair and such. It would have to be a true democracy. 

Whitney: I see her as keeping control, honestly. Whit is the kind of person that will claim she knows best, and maybe she does, but she wouldn’t relinquish control. Not when she’s never been allowed to have it. If given the opportunity to do so, this queen would absolutely rule. 

Blair: Absolutely. She would try her best to set it up with the right candidates, honestly. She wouldn’t want to put anyone in the wrong position where they can do harm, but politics are honestly not her thing. 

Camille: Yes, without hesitation. I could see her turning to Steve, because who else would know better than Captain America (and no, not that knock-off Gucci Captain America they have on The Falcon and The Winter Soldier--we don’t support Walker in the Camille and Steve household), so she would ask who would be better to hand it off to.

Naomi: She would give that up so fast, without thought. She agrees fully with Sam when he says that he’s just the soldier, because she feels something very similar. She wants nothing to do with leading something like that, she doesn’t want that responsibility. It’s why she doesn’t really join the Avengers. She has zero interest in leading. 

100. Are any of your characters queer?

Honestly, it’s safe to say that most of my OCs are. I have more queer OCs than I have straight OCs. But I have so many OCs, I’m just gonna list the ones I’ve done so far, and if you wanna know more, you can always send me an ask!

Wren: Bi, hands down. Her first relationship was with a woman named Lilith in college. She honestly preferred women in the beginning because she doesn’t trust men easily. 

Whit: She’s bi, but still in the closet. She hasn’t had a chance to really be with a woman, but the attraction is there, and so it the want to do so. 

Blair: Definitely pansexual. She thought she was just bi for the longest time, but she’s actually pansexual, and she’s comfortable with it. She was engaged to a woman before she went into a coma, and a few hook ups afterwards have been a mixture of genders. 

Camille: Straight. One of the few that I have that is, honestly. She’s tried in college, but it wasn’t for her. She supports it completely, though. One of her best friends is gay, and she went to their wedding. 

Naomi: Bi, definitely bi. She’s had a mixture of men and women in her dating history, but ultimately none of them worked out because it’s hard to have a personal life when you’re in war zones for the sake of journalism or working for S.H.I.E.L.D. where you’re undercover often in order to gather intelligence. 

[goldenpctals]

TRUTH BOOTH, mackenzie edition 

GENERAL QUESTIONS

1. Please state your full name: I’m Mackenzie Juniper Quinn 2. Does your name(s) have any kind of meaning? If so, what is it? I was named ever my mother’s grandmother, Mackenzie and Juniper was my own grandmother. So classic, right? 3. Do you have any nicknames? A few. Kenz, Kenzie 4. Where were you born? And in which country? Born and raised in Brisbane, Queensland. Also known as Australia 5. What is your date of birth? November 1, 1995  6. Of course, the following question; what is your Zodiac sign? Scorpio 7. Do you believe in Zodiac signs? No, they never add up. There is a moment where every now and then, I can relate to a certain post. However, Zodiac signs are just a myth to me 8. Where do you live? I jump between Violet Springs and London  9. What is your home situation like? (ex. do you live with your family? Your partner etc.?) In London, I have my own apartment, but in Violet Springs, I live with Theo. I have an apartment in London because of my work duties 10. Do you have any siblings? I have one twin brother named Sebestian who constantly reminds me that he is the oldest by 30 seconds. Sad  11. Do you have any kind of allergies? Peanut allergy 12. Do you own any pets? If so, what kind of pets are they? Do snakes back home in Australia count? We usually occur a wild snake every now and then. They keep seem to come back? 13. Why did you apply to St Jude’s? My mom recommended it to me and eventually, I had a scholarship 14. Did you had to go through a lot audition rounds? No, I was discovered  15. What is the current course you’re following? Acting, mostly on screen/tv 16. If you can switch courses, which one would you switch to and why? Producing. It’s a new journey I’m starting at the moment  17. What is your proudest project you’ve done? I, Tonya 18. What is the proudest project that someone’s else has done? Anything Mason does. His work is absolutely fascinating 19. Do you like FanCons? I do 20. What do you like about FanCons? The answer would be pretty obvious, but meeting fans and getting to know them 21. What don’t you like about FanCons? Too personal questions. Don’t get me wrong, I know it’s FanCon and fans will ask questions, but some are unbelievably severe 22. A fan memory that always stuck with you? Can be positive or negative. Whenever they dress up as Harley Quinn. That always stays absolutely adorable 23. Your favorite event so far? I love any kind of award show 24. What kind of event would you like to see in the future? Maybe some kind of camping / surviving trip?  25. Would you recommend St Jude’s to friends, family. etc? Depends. If you handle the pressure and you are career-focused, then yes. If you can’t handle the drama, then no

PERSONALITY QUESTIONS

26. What are your positive traits? Passionate, purposeful and patient. The 3 P’s that Quinn’s usually swear by 27. What are you negative traits? Incredibly stubborn and a little too fierce 28. What would other people describe you as? I hope positive things. But I know some of them have a lot to say other wise, oops 29. What are your pet peeves? Picking men over your friends 30. What makes you happy? Family, genuine friends, working 31. What makes you upset? The classic: ‘seeing one of my loved ones upset’  32. What is something you love? Working. I’m a workaholic  33. What is something you dislike? Being so proud of something and then not getting the recognision that everyone deserves 34. What are you strengths? I would like to say that I’m organised?  35. What are you weaknesses? Picking my head over my heart. Poor choices have been made, unfortunately  36. A misconception people often think of you? That I’m a spoiled brat, probably. Little did they know, everything I’ve done, has been acchieved by me, myself and I 37. Do you have any fears? Yes, but I’m passing this one since I have 3 passes 38. What scares you the most? Tiny holes. They are awful  39. What do you do to entertain yourself? Work out, go shopping or be around my friends 40. What is your MBTI? My MBTI type is ESFP 41. How do you deal with stress? Talk to Amber, she is like my personal therapist 42. Are you a determined person? Are you a stubborn person? Stubborn, very  43. Do you consider yourself selfish? I am. However, since when is this a bad thing? You should be looking out for yourself?  44. Would you like to be different? No, I don’t  45. Are you more introverted (focused on your inner world) or more extraverted (focused on other people and the outer world)? Extraverted

ROMANCE QUESTIONS

46. What is your sexual orientation? My sexuality is: Heterosexual 47. Current relationship status? I’ve been in a relationship with Theo Carmichael for a couple of years now, even when we had our low moments, I still adore him 48. When was your first kiss? Behind a bar, I was drunk and snuck out of my house 49. Do you remember your first date? If so, with who was it? What did you do? Yes, it was that awful that I’m sparing you the details. You’re welcome!  50. Have you ever experienced heart-break? Pass 51. Have you ever been in love? (If yes, skip to question 53) I have!  52. If no, how so? n/a 53. How do you know when you’re in love? Honestly, this was pretty hard for me to answer. I have experienced multiple relationships in my past and with Theo, things were just different. There was so much more and he opened up a whole new world to me by being so patient and understand 54. What would be your ideal date? Take me on an adventure and you’re good to go 55. What is your perspective on marriage? Being pressured into marriage is never good. My parents tend to do so. However, I would love to get married someday. 56. (only for non-virgins) Are you a sub, dom or switch? You had the audicity to ask that? 57. What do you think of relationships? If you’re in love, then it’s wonderful. I wish people stopped getting their lonely souls mixed into business they shouldn’t even be in 58. What do you think of one-night stands? Used to, but it’s a no for me, thanks 59. Are you still a virgin? No, I’m not 60. Most attractive trait in a different person? Passion 61. What matters most to you when it comes to a relationship? Being truthful to one another and talk things out if there is something to talk about. I’m still learning this myself  62. Are you comfortable with PDA? Or would you be comfortable with PDA? Not the biggest fan, but I don’t really mind it?  63. Are you more of a type to be asked out or the type to ask the other out? The one to be asked out 64. How do you express love to the other? *looks away at Theo* 65. Who is your celebrity crush? If I don’t say my boyfriend, he will probably ignore me for a solid week and come back with a replacement for me. Probably a dog. So, my boyfriend, Theo 

GETTING DEEP QUESTIONS

66. Do you regret anything? Yes, I do  67. Is there something you woule like to re-do? So, start all over again? There are a couple of things yes. But that’s for me to know and for you to dot.. dot.. dot.. 68. What is something you would never share with anyone? What happened in Brisbane on July 20, 2012 (OOC: This is that her secret happened)  69. When was the last time you cried? Why did you cry? Yesterday. Sometimes I tend to get overwhelmed by the pressure of my parents. Bash thinks he isn’t their favorite and always calls me out for being the favorite. I don’t think he knows what they want me to be 70. Most memorable event that happened in your time in St Judes? This could be anything: I almost drowned whenever the ship sunk. This happened twice. Twice? Like, excuse me? Did St Judes raised their insurance policy? I hope they did 71. One thing you wish you could do all over? See question 67 72. Someone you miss? People leave for a reason. It is what it is  73. Something you wish you could forget? Once again, July 20 2012 74. Who has the biggest impact on you? Disney has a pretty big impact on me. She is definitely someone I look up to, a lot. Also my mom or my grandmother  75. What is your perspective on love? Is it beautiful? Does it scare you? It shouldn’t be scary. If love scares you, are you ready for it?  76. What has hurt you in the past that you don’t want others to go through? Hm, can’t really think of something?  77. What is something you have gained, something you have lost and something you let go of during the past year? Gained: More confidence in my work. Lost? “Friends”. Let go of: Chopping my hair so short 78. Have you ever lost a friend? do you wish you would still be friends? Yes and no.  79. Do you have any triggers? What is the history behind these triggers and are they related to any disorders or mental illnesses? I don’t 80. If you could meet your 16 year old self, what would tell them? That life isn’t really that painful and that I should really get a sense of fashion......... 

RANDOM QUESTION ROUND

81. Summer or Winter? Summer, any day 82. Cats or dogs? Dogs  83. Beach or mountains? Beaches, but I love the mountain view more 84. Phone calls or texting? Phone calls 85. Have you ever skipped class? Rarely 

[dietgaymags]

A definitive ranking of DWTS Season 29′s celebrities thus far

So I'm obsessed with Dancing with the Stars as much as the next guy. I’ve seen every season since number 11, when I was like 9 years old. But I dropped off a few seasons ago, disappointed that they really had the nerve to put the legend Lindsey Stirling on the same season as the other legend Jordan Fisher. That was not fair to anyone, because Lindsey would have wiped the floor in literally any other season. 

But Season 29′s cast was released and I got excited again. About 80% of these names I was not only familiar with, but were people I enjoyed for some reason or another. Skai Jackson, Nelly, Johnny Weir, AJ McLean, Nev Schulman, Carole Baskin, Justina Machado, Monica Aldama, and the list just goes on. They really said “we need to get young people back into the show.” And they did. I was hooked. And though Len is gone and Carrie Ann is going some sort of which way with her votes (we don’t talk about it), I’ve watched every episode with bright eyes and so much excitement. We have some good dancers this season. And some bad ones. But mostly good. So here’s my definitive ranking of this season’s stars (and, by extension, pros). And if you don’t agree, that’s fine. I am simply a nineteen-year-old girl who likes to watch ballroom dancing. 

NUMBER 15: CAROLE MF BASKIN AND PASHA PASHKOV

Besides the moral obligations to not allow a murderer to appear on the show, I think DWTS did a good job trying to rope people in by bringing her on. When the cast list was released, my jaw dropped because I knew she was going home first and I wanted to be there to see it. 

And somehow, she did not... go home first? She made it another episode? While I’m sure it was a ploy to keep people interested in the show so they didn’t watch the premiere and drop off, Carole Baskin is sure to go down in DWTS history as one of the worst competitors. Her highest score was a 16, sure, but her lowest was an 11. We’re treading Master P territory. And I had a full traumatic episode watching her in a lion-esque unitard. Fuck, I needed to bleach every orifice on my body. (Overall Rating: 1 dead husband/10)

NUMBER 14: CHARLES OAKLEY & EMMA SLATER

You cannot tell me this man isn’t having the most fun he’s had in a minute. He was another easy-to-spot early elimination, but I actually enjoyed watching him to some degree. Emma danced circles around him, but you could really tell he was trying his damnedest and I appreciate it. And his performances didn’t strike cold, dead fear into my heart like other people.

He also got the same average score as Carole over the first two episodes, but one of those was NOT an 11. Slightly better, imo, just a little less improvement than Carole---which is why Derek booted him in the first place. (Overall rating: 1.5 left feet/10)

NUMBER 13: JESSE METCALFE AND SHARNA BURGESS

Did they---did they ever dance? I literally don’t remember anything other than that Newsies dance, which I have to say I particularly enjoyed. It might be because I like Newsies. It might be because Sharna’s hair is gorgeous this season. I don’t know, but it probably wasn’t because of Jesse’s dancing. 

That’s literally all I have to say. (Overall rating: 2 confused braincells/10)

NUMBER 12: CHRISHELL STAUSE AND GLEB SAVCHENKO 

WOAH, she’s coming in with the hot takes! Chrishell hasn’t even been eliminated yet! And look, it’s not even Chrishell’s fault that she’s so low on the list. It really isn’t. She’s been performing, well, okay thus far. Not great, considering her highest score was a 26 on a Paso double where she literally did not even dance (look, I’m not a judge, but I would’ve given it a 21 MAYBE). She’s trying, and she seems to be really enjoying it; I absolutely adore her energy. But most of the issue here is attributed to her partner, Gleb.

His choreography is just... I don’t know... lazy. He throws himself around like a god among men and Chrishell is just there. I don’t really appreciate the pros who prefer to dance over their partners instead of with them. I don’t understand why he thinks this method will get him a mirrorball, but it’s just not gonna happen. (Overall rating: 2 measures of actual dancing/10)

NUMBER 11: ANNE HECHE AND KEO MOTSEPE

Look how happy they look! No, but seriously, they didn’t do that bad. They just had a bad week. Week 2, they had a higher average score than SIX other couples on the show, and they left with a score of 21. I legitimately think that their Disney night dance was underscored. Sure, it wasn’t wonderful, but it didn’t deserve a fifteen.

I know they had no chance to win the mirrorball, but Keo has a history of being stuck with less-than-stellar partners. Anne was not a bad match; they just had bad luck and better competition. I did love watching them, though. And Keo is beautiful, but need I say more? (Overall rating: 3.5 early elims/10)

NUMBER 10: VERNON DAVIS AND PETA MURGATROYD CHMERKOVSKIY

I honestly haven’t enjoyed Peta’s choreography since Season 22, when she and Nyle DiMarco ate up the dance floor and left not a single crumb. She and Peta were another pair where I was like, “Wait, who got eliminated? They’re still here?” The judges were right in saying Vernon had a lot of energy on stage, and look at him here. He’s big cheesin’.

They kind of existed for me is all I have to say. The only reason they’re ranked higher than Anne and Keo is because their average score was just overall better. They never scored extremely well, with their highest score being a 22, but they never did too horribly either. They were meh. (Overall rating: 4 touchdowns/10)

NUMBER 9: NELLY AND DANIELLA KARAGACH

Another hot take? Yes. I can never tell whether or not Nelly enjoys being here until he actually dances. During rehearsal, confessionals, critiques, he always looks a little embarrassed or nervous? I’m not sure. But just like Vernon and Peta, all of their dances have been kind of meh. 

That’s not to put Daniella down in any sense. It’s her first season as a pro, and her abilities definitely shine through in her performance. But like I said about Gleb earlier, she has a tendency to dance over Nelly at times (see: the Freddy Krueger dance from last week). I don’t see Nelly living up to the standards the judges say he’s lived up to thus far, but that might just be my personal opinion. (Overall rating: 5 heeled sneakers/10)

NUMBER 8: MONICA ALDAMA AND VALENTIN CHMERKOVSKIY

Another surprisingly hot take. I actually really enjoyed each of Monica’s dances this season, especially since she’s someone with essentially zero dance experience. I’m still very pissy that the Ratched dance sent her home---it was one of my favorite dances of the night, and I have no clue why she only got a 22 for it (especially when Chrishell and Gleb got a 26). 

Val has always been someone on the show who can take a non-dancer and genuinely make them better. This is the case with Monica. We saw so much improvement with her over the weeks. We’re getting to the part of the list where I love all of the dancers. Still, Monica and Jeannie should not have been the bottom 2 last week, but in the case between the two, it’s right that Monica was eliminated. Still, I would have loved to see her next week. (Overall rating: 6 cheer pyramids/10)

NUMBER 7: SKAI JACKSON AND ALAN BERSTEN

Sure, she got the first 10 of the season. Sure, the Chucky dance was kind of spectacular. But she’s also had the lowest score for two out of seven weeks so far. She has yet to be in the bottom, but I’m sure that’s the fans working for her. I can’t deny her talent on the dance floor, but I would argue that objectively, Skai has made the most mistakes out of everyone this season.

She’s been remarkably inconsistent over the course of the season, but when she’s good, she’s really, really good. She was my pick to win when the cast was released, but now I don’t see that happening unless the fans really come to vote on her, which I think they will. But there is no excuse for an 18 on Week 6. She can do better. I know she can. But until then, she stays in the middle of my list. (Overall rating: 6 Ms. Kiplings/10)

NUMBER 6: JEANNIE MAI AND BRANDON ARMSTRONG

To be completely honest, I had Jeannie Mai pegged as an early elimination from Week 1. But she and Brandon continue to astound me as a team. I love every single one of their dances, sad that they’ve been consistently underscored. That Hannibal Lecter paso was stunning, and the Up dance on Disney night made me tear up a little. 

They’re not higher for the sole reason that others are just better. Not because I don’t love what they put out on the stage every week, but Jeannie just isn’t the strongest technically. Until they get eliminated, though, I’ll be watching with bated breath. (Overall rating: 7 hole-in-ones/10)

NUMBER 5: KAITLYN BRISTOWE AND ARTEM CHIGVENTSEV

Do I just not see what everyone else is seeing when they’re obsessing over Kaitlyn Bristowe? I mean, everything she’s done so far has been wonderful, but she’s not my favorite. Technically, it’s on point 85% of the time. and she has the second-highest point total so far in the competition, but she has yet to do a dance where I step back and think, “Wow.” That’s what puts her behind the top four.

I did not like the Cruella DeVille paso doble at all last week, but I think that was attributed to the song choice more than anything else. I have yet to be taken aback by Kaitlyn and Artem, but their work is undeniably, objectively some of the best on the show. (Overall rating: 7 roses/10)

NUMBER 4: AJ MCLEAN AND CHERYL BURKE

Now we’re at the spot on the list where if any of these guys win the mirrorball, I will be satisfied. Something about AJ is simply magnetic. He has such a kind disposition and wonderful talent on the dance floor, it’s so hard not to love him. His samba is one of my favorite dances on this season so far, and I’m genuinely concerned that he’s been underscored this whole time. 

Cheryl is a mf VETERAN at this, too. She knows how to teach this man to destroy a dance floor. The energy he brings, the life he brings, the nasty footwork that he DEMOLISHES. I did not expect to love AJ as much as I do. In my opinion, the most improvement we’ve seen in a star this season. (Overall: 8.5 backstreets/10)

NUMBER 3: JUSTINA MACHADO AND SASHA FARBER

Justina is living proof that you don’t have to be as big around as my pinky finger to do ballroom dancing well. She’s easily the best female star this season, and Sasha has accentuated her talents on the dance floor without overpowering her, which I enjoy. On top of that, she looks so happy to be here, which translates heavily into her dancing. 

I will say, not every dance from her has been my favorite, but there hasn’t been a single dance out of her that I haven’t liked. Her presence is so powerful and destructive that everyone needs to watch their backs. Remember, this is a sitcom mom, not a professional dancer. (Overall rating: 8.5 days at a time/10)

NUMBER 2: JOHNNY WEIR AND BRITT STEWART

I am a firm believer that Johnny and Britt should have gotten a perfect 30 on their contemporary back in Week 5. I am also a firm believer that they should have gotten a perfect 30 on their Viennese waltz last week. I am consistently blown away by Britt’s choreography every single week, and their chemistry as a pair is unlike anyone I’ve seen in the show’s history. 

What I like about them so much is how much of a team they are. That really makes so much difference out on the dance floor. Their grace and style is completely unmatched, and as a first season pro, Britt is destroying some of the pros who have been here for years... Gleb. I can’t wait to see their performances every single week, and I hope they continue to dance together somehow even after the show is over. (Overall rating: 9.9 triple axels/10)

NUMBER 1: NEV SCHULMAN AND JENNA JOHNSON CHMERKOVSKIY

Hey, quick question: did you expect this? Because I definitely didn’t. Catfish has always been my guilty pleasure show to watch when I’m bored and lonely, and Nev has always been this super dorky guy, so when they announced the cast list, I was like “Oh, this is gonna be funny as hell.” Because it could only go one of two ways: 1) Nev fumbles around like a dork and goes home pretty early, or 2) he wins the mirrorball. 

APPARENTLY it’s the latter. Nev surprised me, and I think everyone, with his natural talent, and Jenna is heavily playing off that in her choreography. She’s been giving him very difficult, technical work and he’s has continued to astound. With the first 30 of the season rightfully deserved, Nev is a force to be reckoned with. Like I’ve said earlier, some of the pros like to dance over their partners to hide their weaknesses. I would go so far as to argue Jenna lets him dance over her. Together, they’re an absolute wildfire, and if they continue at this pace, consider the competition already won. (Overall rating: 10 chest hairs/10)

[foreverlogical]

The process of certifying Joe Biden as the 46th president of the United States occurred in the early morning hours of Jan. 7, after being disrupted by rioters and delayed by Republicans who repeated false and misleading claims about the election results.

Six Republican senators and more than 100 GOP House members objected to the election results in Arizona and Pennsylvania in a failed final attempt to keep President Donald Trump in office.

Here we review some of the claims they made during the debate:

Rep. Paul Gosar of Arizona falsely claimed that “a court found 3% error rate against President Trump” in Arizona’s results. Actually, a state trial court found an error rate of 0.55% in the state’s largest county, which the state Supreme Court said was not enough to question the results.

Gosar also baselessly claimed that “over 400,000 mail-in ballots” in Arizona were “switched” from Trump to Biden “or completely erased from President Trump’s totals.” But there is no evidence to support such a wild claim.

Rep. Elise Stefanik of New York claimed Pennsylvania’s state Supreme Court and secretary of commonwealth “rewrote election law, eliminating signature matching requirements.” Actually, the court unanimously ruled that state law doesn’t require local election officials to determine the authenticity of signatures on absentee or mail-in ballots.

Stefanik also said, “In Wisconsin, officials issued illegal rules to circumvent a state law … that required absentee voters to provide photo identification before obtaining a ballot.” She’s referring to rescinded guidance that some Wisconsin county clerks issued ahead of the state’s April primary election — not the November general election.

Rep. Lee Zeldin took issue with a “Democracy in the Park event” in Wisconsin that he said resulted in “over 17,000 ballots transferred that shouldn’t have been.” The Wisconsin Supreme Court said the event, which allowed voters to bring completed absentee ballots to parks to be collected by sworn city election inspectors, met the letter of state election laws.

Republican Rep. Scott Perry of Pennsylvania wrongly said the state Supreme Court had “absolutely no right” to allow the use of unmanned drop boxes where voters could drop off mail-in votes. A federal judge appointed by Trump and the state Supreme Court both ruled in favor of the use of drop boxes.

Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene falsely claimed that “all of the cases that have been thrown out have been thrown out on standing, not the evidence of voter fraud.” Most didn’t allege actual fraud, and several have been dismissed due to lack of evidence.

Sen. Josh Hawley claimed a law passed in 2019 by the Pennsylvania Legislature violated the state Constitution and said a case challenging it was “dismissed on grounds of … timeliness.” He neglected to mention that case sought to overturn the results of the 2020 election and was filed more than a year after the law passed.

False Claims About Arizona Ballot Reviews

During the floor debate on whether to accept Arizona’s Electoral College votes,Gosar misleadingly said “we have been told over and over” by the Arizona secretary of state that “the public today has no ability to simply double check the veracity of these results.”

In fact, Arizona law requires “a hand count of a sample of ballots to test the accuracy of the vote tabulation equipment, if there is participation from the county political parties,” according to the Arizona secretary of state’s office. Of the state’s 15 counties, 10 performed hand counts; six found no discrepancies and four found errors within the acceptable margin. That included hand recounts in the four largest counties (Maricopa, Pima, Pinal and Yavapai) that represent 85% of the state’s population.

Gosar later said “in the only audit done in Arizona” a court found a “3% error rate against President Trump. Vice President Biden’s margin of error was one tenth of that, at .03%.” He claimed that if that 3% error rate were applied statewide it would have been 90,000 ballots, but “the court stopped the audit and refused to go further.”

His claim of a 3% error rate is false, and his assumption of 90,000 additional Trump ballots is grossly exaggerated.

Besides the hand recounts, the only “audit” conducted in Arizona was prompted by a lawsuit filed by state Republican Party Chairwoman Kelli Ward’s lawsuit, and in that case the court found an error rate of 0.55% — not 3% — in Maricopa County.

In her lawsuit, Ward challenged mail-in ballots that had been duplicated in the county because voters’ first ballots “were too damaged or illegible for the tabulation machines to read, or were otherwise rejected by the machines.”

Her lawsuit led to a review of 100 duplicated ballots, followed by a second inspection of 1,526 duplicated ballots.

“Of the 1,626 total, there were nine errors, (1617 correct duplicate ballots) that if correct would have given the Trump Electors an additional seven votes and the Biden Electors an additional two votes,” the state Supreme Court said in its Dec. 8 ruling denying Ward’s request for an expanded audit. “The trial court concluded the results were ‘99.45% accurate.’”

In filing an appeal to the U.S. Supreme Court, Ward noted that there was a 2% error rate against Trump in the first review of 100 ballots. The suit said one vote was “erroneously ‘flipped’ from Trump to Biden, and the other [was] simply uncounted.” That may be what Gosar meant when he spoke of a 3% error rate, but his office did not respond to our request for information.

Even so, the error rate dropped to 0.55% when the county agreed to review more duplicated ballots.

In its opinion, the state Supreme Court said that extrapolating the 0.55% error rate to all 27,869 duplicated ballots in the county would result in a net increase of only 153 votes, which is not sufficient “to call the election results into question.”

C. Murphy Hebert, a spokeswoman for the Arizona secretary of state, said she is “not aware of other ‘audits’” in Arizona.

Baseless Claim of ‘Altered, Switched’ or ‘Erased’ Trump Ballots

Gosar also baselessly said that “over 400,000 mail-in ballots [in Arizona] were altered, switched from President Trump to Vice President Biden or completely erased from President Trump’s totals.” But there is no evidence to support such a wild claim.

As we mentioned earlier, the state conducted hand counts of sample ballots to make sure the machines are tabulating the ballots correctly. Under state law, representatives of both parties “randomly pick either 2% or at least two vote centers or precinct, whichever is greater, to compare a manual count of ballots done by volunteers to the count completed by tabulation machines,” as explained in a story by ABC15 in Phoenix.

In a Dec. 21 ruling, state Superior Court Judge John Hannah dismissed a state GOP lawsuit demanding that the state’s largest county redo its hand count, noting that the “hand counts verified that the machines had counted the votes flawlessly” in Maricopa County, where about 61% of the state’s population lives. Hannah called the lawsuit “meritless,” saying it “offered only suspicion of wrongdoing.”

And, as we noted earlier, a review of duplicated ballots in the county found an error rate of just 0.55% — which the state Supreme Court opinion said was not enough to affect the results. Biden won the state by less than 11,000 votes.

Hebert, the spokesperson for the Arizona secretary of state, said she wasn’t sure how Gosar arrived at his figure of 400,000 missing Trump votes.

It’s worth noting, though, that Gosar has made a similar claim with an even higher number. In a Dec. 17 tweet, Gosar claimed: “Over 700,000 votes stolen from @realDonaldTrump and given to Biden.” Twitter labeled that tweet “disputed.” Gosar linked to a video that baselessly claimed it provided evidence of “790,175 laundered votes.”

But, as Arizona Republic columnist Laurie Roberts noted, “If Trump really got another 790,175 votes, that would mean he won a whopping 72% of Arizona’s vote while Biden got a piddling 26%.”

Signature Matching in Pennsylvania

Stefanik said, “In Pennsylvania, the state Supreme Court and secretary of state unilaterally and unconstitutionally rewrote election law, eliminating signature matching requirements.”

That’s not so; the court unanimously ruled that the Pennsylvania Election Code never required signature matching for absentee or mail-in ballots in the first place.

In an Oct. 23 opinion, the court upheld September guidance, issued by Pennsylvania Secretary of the Commonwealth Kathy Boockvar, saying that local election officials couldn’t disqualify such ballots based solely on a signature analysis.

“We conclude that the Election Code does not authorize or require county election boards to reject absentee or mail-in ballots during the canvassing process based on an analysis of a voter’s signature,” Justice Debra Todd wrote in the opinion, which was cosigned by five of the other six justices. The other justice, Sallie Updyke Mundy, one of two Republicans on the court, concurred in the ruling.

It was the second time a court had rejected the Trump campaign’s claims that, to prevent fraud, state law required efforts to check that signatures on returned ballots matched signatures on voter rolls.

In its analysis, the state Supreme Court noted that state election law “enumerates only three duties of the county boards of elections during the pre-canvassing and canvassing process,” none of which included a stipulation permitting or mandating signature matching.

“Intervenors would have us interpret the Election Code, which now does not provide for time-of-canvassing ballot challenges, and which never allowed for signature challenges, as both requiring signature comparisons at canvassing, and allowing for challenges on that basis. We reject this invitation,” the court said.

Absentee Ballot Rules in Wisconsin

Stefanik also claimed, “In Wisconsin, officials issued illegal rules to circumvent a state law – passed by the Legislature as the Constitution requires – that required absentee voters to provide photo identification before obtaining a ballot.”

That’s misleading. The guidance was issued during the primary election — not the general — and it was quickly overruled by a state court. Wisconsin state law already says absentee voters don’t have to provide a photo ID when requesting a ballot if the individual affirms that he or she is “indefinitely confined because of age, physical illness or infirmity or is disabled for an indefinite period.”

It’s true that on March 25, Dane County Clerk Scott McDonell and Milwaukee County Clerk George Christenson advised eligible Wisconsin voters that, for the April 7 primary elections, they could claim to be indefinitely confined because of state-issued stay-at-home orders due to the coronavirus pandemic. Doing so, the clerks said, would allow those people — stuck at home and unable to provide a photo ID — to skip that step in the ballot application process.

But on March 29, the Wisconsin Elections Commission issued its own guidance, clarifying that, “Indefinitely confined status shall not be used by electors simply as a means to avoid the photo ID requirement without regard to whether they are indefinitely confined because of age, physical illness, infirmity or disability.”

Then, in a March 31 decision, the Wisconsin Supreme Court ruled that McDonell had given “legally incorrect” information to voters and ordered McDonell to “refrain from posting advice” that was “inconsistent” with the Wisconsin Elections Commission’s own guidance.

That also led to Christenson issuing revised guidance that month that said, “It is very important to note that ‘indefinite confinement’ based only upon the Governor’s Safer at Home Emergency Order cannot be used to legally avoid the photo ID requirement.”

‘Democracy in the Park’

Presenting what he said were facts and evidence that courts circumvented state election laws, Zeldin cited this as one example: “The Democracy in the Park event in Wisconsin had over 17,000 ballots transferred that shouldn’t have been.”

Zeldin added: “These are all facts.”

That’s actually an opinion, and one not shared by the Wisconsin Supreme Court.

Zeldin is referring to two events held in Madison, Wisconsin, one in September and one in October, called “Democracy in the Park” in which people were allowed to bring completed absentee ballots to parks to be collected by sworn city election inspectors. The inspectors also could serve as witnesses if a voter brought an unsealed, blank ballot.

In a lawsuit, the Trump campaign contended the 17,271 absentee ballots collected at these events amounted to illegal early in-person voting.

The Wisconsin Supreme Court disagreed. Wisconsin Supreme Court Justice Brian Hagedorn, a conservative, sided with three liberal justices in a 4-3 decisionopposing the Trump campaign’s efforts to strike those votes.

In his written opinion for the majority, Hagedorn wrote that given the park events were all publicly announced, the time to contest them was before the election. The court stated it was “patently unreasonable” for the campaign to file the lawsuit after the election, and for those votes to be thrown out given that “thousands of voters relied on the representations of their election officials that these events complied with the law.”

Furthermore, Hagedorn stated, the events complied with Wisconsin election law, which requires voters to return absentee ballots by mail or “in person, to the municipal clerk issuing the ballot or ballots.”

“A sworn city election inspector sent by the clerk to collect ballots would seem to be an authorized representative as provided in the definition” of the statute, Hagedorn wrote.

People who brought completed absentee ballots to the parks had to have previously requested them. No absentee ballots or ballot applications were distributed at the events.

Pennsylvania Drop Boxes

Perry wrongly said the state Supreme Court had “absolutely no right” to allow the use of unmanned drop boxes where voters could drop off mail-in votes. A federal judge appointed by Trump rejected a lawsuit from the Trump campaign that sought to prevent the use of drop boxes.

Perry, Jan. 6: The Supreme Court authorized the use of drop boxes, where ballot harvesting could occur. The legislature never authorized that form of voting, and the court had absolutely no right to do so.

In September, the Pennsylvania Supreme Court ruled that the state’s election code permitted the use of drop boxes for submission of mail-in ballots. The court ruled that the competing interpretations of whether the state’s election code allowed drop boxes were both reasonable, rendering the code “ambiguous.” It ultimately determined that the law “favors the fundamental right to vote and enfranchises, rather than disenfranchises, the electorate” and that “the Election Code should be interpreted to allow county boards of election to accept hand–delivered mail–in ballots at locations other than their office addresses including drop–boxes.”

The following month a federal judge knocked down the Trump campaign’s effort to bar the use of drop boxes.

The opinion was written by U.S. District Judge J. Nicholas Ranjan, a Trump appointee.

The Trump campaign argued that drop boxes would lead to the potential for the counting of “fraudulent or otherwise ineligible ballots” in the presidential election.

But Ranjan said the Trump campaign had not presented enough evidence that potential voter fraud was a likely problem. “While Plaintiffs may not need to prove actual voter fraud, they must at least prove that such fraud is ‘certainly impending,'” Ranjan wrote. “They haven’t met that burden.”

In his comments on the House floor, Perry raised the specter of “ballot harvesting” which refers to third parties collecting and delivering ballots, and which is not permitted in Pennsylvania. But no evidence has emerged to date that that was a problem at any drop boxes in the state.

Trump Cases Lacked Evidence, or Even Claims, of Fraud

In objecting to Pennsylvania’s electoral votes, Greene falsely claimed: “I’d like to point out that all of the cases that have been thrown out have been thrown out on standing, not the evidence of voter fraud.” Several of the Trump campaign’s legal challenges have been dismissed by judges for a lack of any evidence of voter fraud.

For example, in one case seeking to nullifying about 2,000 absentee ballots in Pennsylvania, Bucks County Court of Common Pleas Judge Robert Baldi, a Republican, wrote in his order: “It must be noted that the parties specifically stipulated in their comprehensive stipulation of facts that there exists no evidence of any fraud, misconduct, or any impropriety with respect to the challenged ballots. There is nothing in the record and nothing alleged that would lead to the conclusion that any of the challenged ballots were submitted by someone not qualified or entitled to vote in this election.”

In five other cases in Pennsylvania, Philadelphia Court of Common Pleas Judge James Crumish denied the suits, writing in each of the five orders that the campaign made “meritless” arguments and “concedes that all ballots by a qualified elector in this category were timely received.”

In yet another Pennsylvania case, Judge Stephanos Bibas, a Trump appointee on the Third Circuit Court of Appeals, wrote: “Free, fair elections are the lifeblood of our democracy. Charges of unfairness are serious. But calling an election unfair does not make it so. Charges require specific allegations and then proof. We have neither here.” The court had unanimously upheld a lower court’s dismissal of the case.

In late December, the New York Times analyzed 59 court losses the Trump campaign suffered among 60 lawsuits and found that most — two-thirds — didn’t actually claim there had been voter fraud. About 12 cases that did allege fraud had “their days in court,” the Times wrote, “and consistently collapsed under scrutiny.”

In dismissing a Nevada case, District Court Judge James T. Russell wrote in a lengthy dissection of the lawsuit’s claims that the campaign “did not prove under any standard of proof that illegal votes were cast and counted.”

Some courts have dismissed cases because the plaintiffs lacked standing, meaning a right to sue. For instance, the U.S. Supreme Court cited standing in rejecting the state of Texas’ attempt to sue four swing states Biden had won. But Greene is wrong to claim “all of the cases … have been thrown out on standing.”

Pennsylvania Objection: No Claim of Fraud

Hawley prefaced an objection about a Pennsylvania voting law by saying it was “quite apart from allegations of any fraud.” Instead, Hawley misleadingly described an expansion of mail-in voting in the state, passed with Republican support in 2019.

Hawley, Jan. 6: Last year, Pennsylvania elected officials passed a whole new law that allows universal mail-in balloting and did it irregardless of what the Pennsylvania Constitution said. … And then when Pennsylvania citizens tried to go and be heard on this subject before the Pennsylvania Supreme Court, they were dismissed on grounds of procedure, timeliness, in violation of that Supreme Court’s own precedent.

The state law in question, Act 77, was passed with bipartisan support and signed into law by Gov. Tom Wolf on Oct. 31, 2019. The law, which went into effect for the primary elections in 2020, expanded mail-in voting in the state, allowing for the first time no-excuse mail-in voting, which means registered voters can request a mail-in ballot without providing a reason for wanting or needing one. A total of 34 states plus Washington, D.C., allow no-excuse mail-in or absentee voting.

Hawley is right that the state Supreme Court dismissed a case challenging the constitutionality of the law because the Republican plaintiffs, including U.S. Rep. Mike Kelly, had waited too long to bring the suit — but he neglected to mention they waited more than a year and only filed the suit after Trump had lost the election. In the suit, the plaintiffs had asked for the invalidation of mail-in ballots cast under the statute. In dismissing the case in late November, the court wrotethat the plaintiffs showed a “complete failure to act with due diligence in commencing their facial constitutional challenge, which was ascertainable upon Act 77’s enactment.”

In a concurring statement, Justice David N. Wecht wrote: “It is not our role to lend legitimacy to such transparent and untimely efforts to subvert the will of Pennsylvania voters. Courts should not decide elections when the will of the voters is clear.”

The U.S. Supreme Court declined a request to intervene in the case.

As for the Pennsylvania Constitution, it says: “All elections by the citizens shall be by ballot or by such other method as may be prescribed by law.” Kelly’s case argued that expanding mail-in voting in the state could only be done through a constitutional amendment, not legislation. It cited another section in the state Constitution on absentee voting, which says the Legislature “shall, by general law, provide a manner” for absentee voting for qualified voters who may be “absent from the municipality of their residence” or who have other reasons they can’t vote at their polling place, such as illness, disability or religious observances.

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[veinereastath]

hi there again (I'm the anon from the Eredin age ask, btw, thank you for the answer!! I like your theory). i wanted to ask one more thing - how did you play around with pairing aen elle with a human? not that I have something against it, hell naw, but I'm wondering whether making Rhan a human was somehow important for your plot, or did you just decide it for no bigger reason?

I like your questions, Nonny! I really do~

~ Also, sorry in advance - this is a long answer. I wanted to make it short, but.. I guess I usually go to far with asks, probably because I’m just too excited, duh.

Okay, first things first - pairing Aen Elle with a human is sick. :”) To some extent, I presume. I would never go for it if not for the canon Lara Dorren x Cregennan of Lod story, because that gives some mild suggestion that, technically, such a relationship is possible. Even more interesting, the romance between them was more bothering for humans than elves, so it’s also a little point for my evil little abomination that I created.

About how it started - I created Rhan (or, actually, loose concept of her) in late 2015 / early 2016 [I started my journey with this universe in September 2015 where I played Witcher 3, and after finishing it I swallowed the whole saga by Sapkowski in less than two weeks]. Fun fact - she was an elf at this point, Aen Elle, actually, with a totally different backstory than what we have now. But me, being me, always digging human x elf / demon / whatever the hell you can come out with relationships - it wouldn’t work, it was too boring for me, so I scrapped that early concept and started nibbling, slowly and lazily, at something new. I think that the first ideas that are actually what Rhan is today started appearing in my head during summer vacations in 2016 (gosh, why am I giving so many pointless details, sorry anon).

Let’s get back on the grid - the main problem I have with Eredin is that he’s one of that characters that doesn’t have much screenbooktime. The whole Tir na Lia plot takes about 40 pages I think, and Eredin has maybe 15 pages in total. It’s not much when we have 5 books + about a dozen or so smaller stories [and Season of Storms, but it came out much, much later]. But what I could pick up was that:

Aen Elle are a fucked up race, and that’s a fact, but, honestly  - 90% of the Witcher universe is either genocidal, racist, or both, or worse,

Eredin is genocidal and racist, and, even more... complicating, the whole "Ciri in Tir na Lia” plot puts Eredin, Avallac’h and Auberon in position of rapists, because putting a woman in someone else’s bed without her permission is rape,

he’s that lovely, dark and highly intelligent manipulative type. :”)

It’s quite a feat, because everyday I get around 3-4 new little ideas for their story, but only 1 at best makes it to the “next step”, because there are many things I have to consider - first is, 98% of soft and fluffly things just won’t work with Eredin. They just won’t, but somehow I’m fine with that, I was never a fluffly-tropes kind of person. Second is, Rhan x Eredin relationship is difficult on every level: the race difference is obvious, but there is also age, for example, and all the time I have this little devil in the back of my head reminding me of the “the old, kinda supernatural being falls in love with a young woman” trope: *cough* Twilight *cough*. The worst thing that could happen is making Eredin OOC somehow. But that’s always the biggest fear when shipping OC x canon, I presume.

So, in order to make myself feel better, in nearly every piece of story with them I write I put that huge doubt, mostly on Rhan’s side, how the hell this could work and her little panic when after some time she realizes where her feelings are going, because while Aen Elle x human might have indeed a chance of happening again, even after Lara Dorren x Cregennan, it’s still wrong on nearly every level. When that Aen Elle is Eredin, it’s even worse.

The very definition of “falling in love” itself also kinda feels weird when Eredin is taken into consideration, imo, so that’s another thing I have to live with every day (but hey, I love suffering, so it’s all good, right).

Moving on - I decided that if this is supposed to work, Rhan should probably be as most non-human human as I can, while still somehow keeping that “humanity” in her, because... If I wanted to de-human her entirely, why not just make her an elf and be done with it? That’s why I decided that while yes, she was born on Skellige and is 100% human, I will put her in Brokilon, make her live and learn from the dryads, and then put her right in the middle of Scoia’tael to give her the deep understanding of elven culture and way of life. The final effect is that while Rhan is human in terms of how she looks like (no diamond-cutting cheekbones in her, baby~) and tends to show a more fiery side of her temperament here and there, she behaves like an elf in about 85% of the case - to make it more “real” I added small headcanon things that could potentially fit elves, at least Aen Seidhe, the way the greet each other, thank eatch other for help, share their emotions etc., so after just a few days Eredin realizes “well, she’s human, but she does not behave like one, and does not move or fight like one”. It’s barely a deal for him at this point, but it’s the first, microscopic step towards moving their relationship onto some normal ground.

Another thing - this relationship could not happen fast. While Rhan is a sorceress and, indeed, has an increased lifespan thanks to magic, she is still a human and the biggest human thing in her is that she perceives time like humans do - every minute, hour, week is important to her, while Aen Elle can wait decades and not be too much bothered by it. So something long and lazy from Rhan’s perspective would be a blink of an eye for Eredin, especially since I stick to that headcanon that he must be at least 300 years old - at this age elves are pretty much done with everything, they’ve seen nearly everything, and they just don’t care that much about time, and they get quite bored with each other (sex-wise, as Avallac'h said to Geralt in Tower of The Swallow).

Though, on the side note, the books heavily suggest that Eredin is, indeed, impatient; something that kinda costed the Aen Elle losing the Elder Blood and Auberon at the same time, because he would probably live if not for Eredin’s hasty attempt to speed things up.

Huh, what else could I say... Ah, right, time. I wanted to mention that I made their relationship take a long time to just go from “you’re just a trophy” to “you’re tolerable” to “alright, I consider you to be a living being and slightly appreciate what you’re doing to Aen Seidhe elves in your world” to “I respect you” to “I would not die for you, but I would kill for you”. I’m still not entirely sure how much time I want it to take, but one decade is an absolute bare fricking minimum. Recently I’m kind of going more into putting it into a span of 20-25 years, actually. And it’s still not that much for Aen Elle elf.

What else... Ah, to figure out how the hell would Eredin even consider taking her alive, instead of killing her on the spot after she got trapped in Tir na Lia for the second time (in case you don’t know - I gave Rhan a highly unstable magic; she can’t create portals, because they always throw her to the place that is full of powerful magic, and doesn’t care for worlds barriers - and Tir na Lia is literally full of it), I went with the very long and tiring chase sequence; Rhan was able to run away for 5 days before she got captured, with barely any sleep available at that time, to kinda give this whole thing a vibe of an exciting (for Eredin, that is) chase, that is something new and interesting after the routine that is unicorn hunting / raiding human villages. The Raven Haired Bastard managed to be slightly, just sliiightly impressed by how long she was able to play this game, slipping from his riders by mere inches. Slightly. But that’s already some kind of a start to make it at least somehow believable. At least for my mind and my imagination.

And yes, I know he chased Ciri as well, but in her case it was a matter of life and death, because Eredin needed her blood, it was a matter of survival of the whole race, not chase for fun. In case of Rhan, it's more of a free-time challenge, a hunt for a difficult, but not that important prey. Aaand I don't like Cirilla, but that's another thing, yikes

... God, it was not supposed to be this long, I’m sorry. I just couldn’t make it shorter. And there are still probably things that I would like to mention, but just can’t think about them right now.

 

Moral of the story is - I dig complicated, dark and difficult relationships. I always go for them. Well, in 99% of the case.

[demonkidpliz]

Things I learned while re-watching Star Plus Mahabharata (Part 16/many):

1) As ever with Duryodhan, I cannot disagree with anything he says.

2) Oh god. This scene. Panchali’s curse. Her walking away as Arjun looks on. Gold.

3) Not sure I like this new version of Krishna seekh.

4) Also we have not seen Krishna fight once in this battle of Dwarka vs the King of Shalva.

5) I also don’t like crying Krishna. Not saying he can’t. But I can’t take him seriously when he cries. I need him to be infinitely more chill than SRJ is being right now.

6) Ah, Arjun swearing at the Kurus. A+ 10/10.

7) Oh my fucking god, Subhadra’s opening line to Arjun: how could you let this happen? I expect nothing less from her.

8) Madhav is back now, after chilling in his war. He’s still in a self-driven chariot.

9) Wow, he’s so pissed at the Pandavas and rightfully so.

10) Draupadi telling Krishna that she’s become impure. And anyone who comes near her would also become impure. No. NO. Every woman in the world knows this feeling.

11) Okay, first of all, Krishna, you moonlighting feminist, the first thing you should tell Draupadi is that she has not become malin because of what Duryodhana and Dushasan did. This is on them, not on her. I cannot but compare StarBharat with BR Chopra Mahabharat, the comparisons come very easily to me. And the truth is, they just did some things better.

12) Draupadi’s now fallen at his feet. Krishna is just like, Lord give me strength.

13) This scene is important because I feel like for once Krishna is putting his grand plans on hold for one second to give Draupadi back her peace of mind. Because first and foremost, the Lord is kind to those who follow him.

14) It’s so nice that StarBharat has shown this sort of sisterly solidarity between Draupadi and Subhadra, which is so important.

15) Draupadi is not even remotely impressed by Yudhishthira’s theatrics.

16) Draupadi’s pratigya makes her sound like Bhishma. Intentional or unintentional.

17) I cannot imagine Subhadra watching idly by as the Pandavas and Draupadi walk to the forest. I’m sure she put up a fight against her brothers to be allowed to go.

18) Speaking of, where is Balaram in all of this? His cousins are heading for vanvas and he is still chilling in Dwarka? Unrealistic.

19) Oh nice, Abhimanyu hasn’t even been born yet but somehow Krishna has managed to name him.

20) That scene where Arjun stops Subhadra from touching his feet. Some of StarBharat’s dialogueless scenes are just as touching.

21) Krishna’s glare as Shakuni enters the Indraprastha palace lmaoo.

22) A well executed scene but the watering hole scene happens only towards the end of the 12-year vanvas period.

23) This is hilarious. Yudhishthira is basically like Krishna is going to whoop my ass if I let something else happen to Panchali.

24) Oh god. Everyone loves Arjun the most. But I think Yudhishthira loves Bhim the most.

25) It’s time for Yudhishthira to meet his bio daddy!

26) Arjun doing tapasya for Shiv is my jam.

27) Bhim is such a cutie.

28) This Hanuman story is different though, right? Something to do with some lotus for Draupadi.

29) Is Hanuman a Yadav? He wears the same tilak. Or is this some Ram/Krishna connection we don’t quite know about.

30) I love Hanuman’s character! He’s so playful. And also the Hanuman Chalisa in the background score.

31) Oh so Hanuman knows that Krishna is Ram/Vishnu avatar and says he will chill on the chariot that’s being manned by God.

32) Oh no they never told us about the magic bowl Draupadi had that was gifted to her by Surya Dev which gave them unlimited food.

33) Also, do the Pandavas and Karna ever realise that they are all ‘gifts’ of Durvasa.

34) Krishna creeping in the background like some mega creep 😂

35) This is a conversation for another time but some day we need to talk about the incessant whitewashing of our gods such as Ram and Krishna in modern mythological serials. Also of Draupadi/Dhrishtadyumna/Arjun—basically anyone who’s described in canon as dark. There is some modern fetish for fair-skinned gods that just doesn’t sit right. I miss the dark-skinned Aruns and Nitishs.

36) Durvasa is still not impressed by Krishna. This man is literally god.

37) Arjun is fishing.

38) Oh nice, Indra is also here. Old gods and new.

39) Not sure whether I like this Shiv. Shiv in general I love.

40) Aaaand Jayadrath is here. Can’t wait for this guy to die in tomorrow’s BR Chopra Mahabharat episode.

41) Duryodhan low key throwing shade at Jayadrath is my jam.

42) Really, what does Dushala see in this man?

43) Kaun ho tum? Really? Draupadi doesn’t know her own brother-in-law? That seems highly unlikely.

44) Why is Arjun wasting time with all this trash talk?

45) Arjun is having a lot of second thoughts about keeping Jayadrath alive for Dushala’s sake but this is going to change very quickly during the war. Also Nakul rightfully points out that this man will give grief to Arjun later on.

46) This is by far the worst and most inaccurate map of Aryavarta to ever exist.

47) Oh no Jayadrath’s hair makeup is so not on point at this moment.

48) Mamashri Shakuni is literally fortune telling at this point and this is my jam.

49) So it’s canon that both Shakuni and Krishna are Slytherins, right? Yet they are the two most diametrically opposite Slytherins we have ever seen.

50) Also I want to see Dushala but these shows never give me what I want. When I make the Mahabharata I will make sure the women get equal and opposite screen time and character development as the men.

51) Yudhishthira is getting on my nerves.

52) This Draupadi is infinitely nicer than BR Chopra Mahabharat’s Roopa Ganguli who used to give it to her husbands every opportunity she got.

53) I also have lots of complaints. They didn’t show Dhrishtadyumna taking Draupadi’s sons home to Panchal to raise them.

54) They didn’t show Arjun chilling with his bio dad in heaven! They didn’t show Urvashi hitting on him and him rejecting her advances! Then she curses him, causing him to lose his manhood. And then she reverses the curse after Indra begs her and she limits it to lost manhood for one year of his choosing. That’s how Arjun uses the Brihannala guise for a year during agyaatvaas!

55) Shakuni training himself to think like Krishna. Looool.

56) Nakul bullying children is my jam.

57) Clearly this sattoo ke laddoo business is some sort of secret code amongst the Pandavas.

58) At least Uttar and Uttara are aptly shown as young teenagers.

59) My fav is back! Brihannala! 😍

60) Also what is this face covering nonsense by Sairindhri?! Women in the Later Vedic Age did not cover their faces or their heads behind purdah!!!

61) The Pandavas meeting together after a long time is giving me hope! This is what it’s going to be like when lockdown is over and I meet my friends 😭😭😭

62) This Keechak guy looks evil but I can’t take him seriously because his voice makes him sound like a prepubescent boy.

63) What is this casual classism from Keechak? Like Jesus, what a dirtbag.

64) Again there was no ghunghat back in those days?!?!

65) But iss Keechak ne toh consent ki maa behen kar di.

66) How happy the Pandavas are to see Panchali! Arjun the most, perhaps 😍

67) Virat making a dig at Dushasan. I’m here for this tea.

68) I can’t take Keechak seriously because of his voice.

69) This logic whereby if Draupadi has five husbands so she can have one more—like I will never understand this! She consented to five and no more???

70) Brihannala, my one true fav, is back!

71) Keechak vadh is my favourite episode, behind Shishupal vadh and Jayadrath vadh. Do you see the pattern?

72) Why is Draupadi here? I wanted to see Bhim’s giant form hidden as a lump under a blanket, enticing Keechak.

73) Bhim is here! 😍 Seriously, no one loves Panchali as much as Bhim does. Arjun toh is smitten by our Yadav homegirl.

74) Now Arjun is going to do his tandav dance. This should distract the others from the noise nicely.

75) Oh nice. Nakul and Sahadev are also participating.

76) Predictably, Jyesth Bhrata, Yudhishthira, is not invited to this Keechak vadh party.

77) King Virat is like oh no what a loss.

78) Yudhishthira looks pissed, as always, when his brothers have done something good.

79) Haha. Duryodhan has caught on to the fact that Bhishma is trying desperately to stall so that the Pandavas are not found out.

81) Now Duryodhan is now accusing Vidur of partiality. Again, he is not wrong. I’m so impressed by how well his character has been written. Not one word he says is incorrect.

82) Nice. Duryodhan has his father wrapped around his little finger. He knows exactly how to manipulate him so that Dhritarashtra rises to the bait.

83) After all these centuries Bhishma realises that Shakuni is after the destruction of Hastinapur.

84) Shakuni is admitting now that all of this is revenge for Gandhari. Oh man. Do you think Bhishma knew that the Mahabharat was the result of his poorly executed actions (intentional or otherwise)?

85) King Virat is so smart. I like him. I’m going to be so sad when he dies.

86) Brihannala is going to stay behind. Great. It’s so interesting to see this story in retrospect (which is how it’s told to Janamajeya and Vajra) in the first place.

87) I like Virat with open hair.

88) What the hell is this? I cannot be attracted to Pitamaha Bhishma and Mama Shakuni with their open hair and battle armour?! Adharm!

89) Oh what a cool sundial!

90) I’m glad they showed Uttar as nothing more than a teenager.

91) Mama Shakuni is so fit.

92) Do you think Bhishma recognises Arjun as Uttar’s chariot?

93) Poor Uttar is probably shitting his pants.

94) Arjun praying to Agni Dev to return his Gandiv. Old gods to the rescue.

95) This background score! It’s my absolute favourite! Parthasya Dhananjaya! My fav song on my fav, Arjun 😍

96) Bhishma looks thoroughly pleased. He recognises the sound of the Gandiv’s twang.

97) Now they will fight about the authenticity of the calendar. They should go to a calendar expert.

98) Bhishma looks proper chuffed at Arjun. How on earth will they fight against each other in the Great War?

99) Oh man, Karna is here. Ugh.

100) Karna is here to trash talk as per usual. Oh god both these men are useless. Fight no instead of talking so much.

101) Oh man, the charioteer’s son has been thrown from his chariot but not before taking a shot at Arjun.

102) Ah Karna’s divine armour makes an appearance!

103) Oh shit, this just got real! They’re calling on divine weapons!

104) Bhishma steps in. Of course.

105) Duryodhan’s hah! 😂😂

106) Arjun crying that if he is responsible for Bhishma’s death, it will be hell on earth for him. Oh, Arjun. You must still suffer, a lot.

107) Arjun’s threat, that all the Pandavas will come to avenge Draupadi’s insult. Yes. 100%. I hope in this yug even if men are not punished for their crimes against women on earth, they will suffer forever in hell for their misdeeds.

108) The Pandavas and Draupadi are ready. It’s time for the Great War. It’s time for Mahabharat.