#'sorry for crying talking about getting fucked in the ass makes me so...how you say....nostalgic'

[sadclowncentral]

cannot stop thinking about the french man who during dinner responded to a person asking "should we be naughty and get desert" by pulling a face and going "naughty? it is chocolate, it is not an, uh, threesome"

[zephyrrr101]

OMG OMG OMG!!! HOTD SEASON 2 EPISODE 1: BLOOD AND CHEESE!!!

Okayyyyyy! Boy! I just saw it and I have so much to rant and talk about!!!

But before we go into it, for those who hasn't seen it yet,

this is a spoiler! Below the cut

So don't venture if you don't want to loose your fun.

The first and foremost thing we see is Wolf Woods and Winterfell. And man! Did I not feel nostalgic!

Cregan Stark is carrying a sword through out the journey to top of the wall, probably Ice.

I really like the way they have changed Jace here. The hairstyle, the words, the way of talking to a Lord. This Jace is what I connect to, the one we know about in books.

Emma D'Arcy! You woman! I love you! I love you so so so much. Rhaenyra doesn't has more but one dialogue in the whole episode but through out it all I can see her speak. Every scene made me cry. Rhaenyra stands at the edge of castle, looking to anything she could, I would say to even hold a false hope of Luke being alive. Her desperate climb through the stones when she hears fishermen yell about the Dragon wing (Arrax's), her clutching Luke's clothes, looking at last memories that she has of his. It's lovely.

We finally also see Mysaria. Her interaction with Daemon is brilliant. She is shown as who she is. A woman who works for gold. I have no disappointment here.

Larys, you foxxy bastard, look at you trying to put Otto out of his position. Filling both Aegon and Alicent's ears with poison against him.

Aemond, struts into the council room, you cunty little bastard. I loved Ewan every moment of him. That is exactly how I expect Aemond to be.

Aegon. Loved it too. We see him in more than just a sorry ass drunk. Fine-fucking-ly. I like how he takes control of the throne room the second time Otto tries to tell him what to do. I'm really ready to see Otto get kicked out of his position. But boy. You sweet not to sweet anymore summer child, what are you doing. You can't call your unhinged brother loyal as a dog when he's planning war behind your back, something even your granddad is pointing at.

ALICOLE!!! Woohoo you people! Yes they are fucking! They are fucking right the moment when Blood and Cheese come and kill Jaehaeyrs.

While speaking on the matter, (Please don't attack me, this is only my analysis of show and somethings I compare from the book). Blood and cheese is disappointing. To me atleast. Child murder, of course it's not right, very, very, very bad. But I rather like the book part. We have no Maelor up until this stage in the show so it's basically making Helaena choose between her twins which, I'm sorry, looks stupid. The whole point of it was making a choice between two sons. The Greens basic usurpation is based on the fact that Rhaenyra is a woman. So why the hell would Helaena be forced to chose between her daughter and son. It would have been obvious that she would have chosen Jaehaera to be dead over Jaehaeyrs. She is not an idiot. We know.

And if we talk about the show sow why she did it? My reason, perhaps she doesn't wants her son to see or face what is coming. Or maybe she had seen what he doesn't wants it.

Helaena at the start in the first scene when Aegon comes looking for Jaehaeyrs tells him "What if he doesn't want it?" It feels like a call back to times when Aegon didn't want it. But still, she knows a woman's life is much worse in Westeros specially in time of war, so why save a girl who would lead a bad life instead of the son who actually had a chance to get out of that. Is it a call back to Viserys choosing Rhaenyra over Aegon? Wouldn't know until next scenes.

Rhaena. We see her on the council table and while they are burning Luke's and Arrax's remains. I wanted to cry just seeing her. She looks so distraught.

Daemon wearing his MURDER CLOAKKKKKK!!!

YAYAYAYAYAY!!!

I love how he paid that Gold Cloak to do his bidding and how that man went "Commander" and "Fuck the Hightowers". We see the loyalty of the Gold Cloaks to Daemon that we know from books and the first season. Loved every moment of that.

Well, that's what I think about it.

[chaoticdelinqueerwithglitter]

who are your favorite lotr / the hobbit /silmarillion characters

Wuhuuuuu, unexpected question! Since I have a suspicion of who might be... Here is a cute rat too! (worse case and is not who I think it is, well, who doesn't love cute rats? 🥺)

Okay, since I'm probably about to start yapping... Answer under the cut!

First of all, I need to clarify this: I'M VERY BIASED TOWARDS HOBBITS IN GENERAL!

There is reasons for it, but honestly? Have you seen the shrine? I want to be a hobbit and spend my days in a place that beautiful while I smoke weed under the shadow of a tree. THAT'S THE DREAM, C'MON! 😌

When I was a kid, my dad used to read 'The Hobbit' to me when I was sick and had to stay at home bc adhd kid couldn't stay quiet (I have a very vivid memory of feverish me watching as it was a movie how they all went down the river inside the barrels, no idea why that stuck but it did). He did a different voice for every dwarf and I laughed like a gremlin every time he read their moment invading Bilbo's home.

Then we went all together to watch the first lotr movie and I cried like a baby bc "Wtf do you mean Gandalf is dead? No, he isn't!". So as soon as I arrived home (still crying), I quickly went to grab the first book bc my parents refused to spoiler me shit (Don't take me wrong, I'm glad I read them and I enjoyed it a lot, but damn, I was very worried for Gandalf, okay? 🥲)

So... From a nostalgic point of view? Kid me would probably say Bilbo or Gandalf. But if I had to choose right now, it would be a tie between two hobbits (I love them, sorry)

PIPPIN

(He's so real, I feel represented by Pippin every time I watch those movies. His extra scenes always get me)

I love him dearly. Not only bc he's too funny and my most silly side thinks we should be friends. He's so damn real and unfiltered, adhd hobbit, I swear to Cher xD

But also, and that's very important to me... He stays. He can be oblivious and not grasp half of what is happening around him, but he grasps his friends are in danger and he stays. Yes, he screws up bc curiosity does things (no impulse control, I wonder why), but again, once he arrives at Gondor... He stays, he keeps fighting in his own way, he never abandons his friends. I must confess is being a while since I read the books for the last time, but I know how much I loved his part on Gondor, how he walks around the city and everyone ends up knowing him and appreciating him even. Who wouldn't? He's a fool but an honest one who has no malice. So yeah, Pippin deserves more credit! (same for Merry, but the silly one got me, what can I say)

SAM

(I know this speech is movie-only, but it makes me feel things every damn time. This is directly responsible of why every time I finish the 2nd movie, no matter if I was falling asleep or not, I play the next one. Because damn, the way he talks about stories? Hits me)

It's Sam, idk what else I need to say. The loyal companion, who for me would always be the biggest hero (biased, I know). The one that refuses to leave Frodo, that even when Frodo goes all "is my burden" answers "but I can carry with you". He is so damn devoted, how I'm supposed to not love him? And is Frodo, is for Frodo, we all know it. He doesn't seem to consider trying anything against Frodo when he refuses to destroy the ring. No, hurting Frodo is not something Sam considers.

And I might be realizing that apparently I always had a soft spot for characters that are devoted to the point of following their depressed emo boyfriend to hell. Welp, I see a patron, what can I say? I shipped them before even knowing that was what I was doing, arguing with my brother that "Mr.Frodo, I'm your Sam" didn't have any other explanation and one-sided my ass bc no way depressed Frodo didn't accept the affection when he needed it so badly. No way their trip to Mordor didn't have doomed romance, no fucking way! (codependent and unbalanced too, damn.... Yeah, I have a type for ships, fuck xD)

I hope this yapping is somehow an answer to your question! (and I might be thinking about harumai going to Mordor, my brain is going silly xD)

[white-btterfly]

Sorry not sorry for the angst. 😇😂

Viktor is so cute at the beginning! He’s so hopeful and happy and how dare you rip that feeling from him later in the chapter?!? I’m crying in the corner??? The in-universe lore that states the hope itself is dangerous for him because it fuels the disease??? Um, thanks, my heart is crushed??? (I love it, the angst is perfectly done) When he finds Jayce isn’t in the lab and visibly deflates, oh how I viscerally felt my own hopes get smothered along with him. He was really riding the high of progress toward the cure and maybe possibly having a chance with Jayce, but everything becomes more realistic when alone.

Yes, Hanahaki feeds on crushed hopes. People in love often hope. Unrequited feelings of love breed hope, which then breeds hopelessness. Which is why Viktor was doing better when Jayce had no idea about his illness. Now that they're getting closer, Viktor, deep down, no matter what he says, no matter that he realizes it's irrational, can't help but hope, as we realized when he talked to Heimerdinger. In consequence, his symptoms are worsening.

Viktor has a hard return to cold reality. There's still hope to find a cure, but his time is short, and he's walking a fine line with Jayce.

I wasn’t expecting to see Heimerdinger play such a large role in this chapter but it was actually delightful to learn about his history with Viktor. I always wanted to know more about Viktor’s time at the Academy before he meets Jayce, and the details here were so well done, it’s officially canon in my brain now.

Awwww thank you!!! For Viktor sneaking into the Academy, I took inspiration from a tweet from Amanda Overton. I adapted it a bit for my story (no parents, it all comes from Viktor) and added all the other details about his infiltration (about Sky and her mother, about how he got discovered, and Viktor and Heimerdinger meeting at the steel oasis before Heimerdinger appointed him his assistant). I have to admit, the thing I'm the most proud of is how Viktor got discovered because of Sky recognizing him. I nearly forgot about her, and when I got the revelation, I was just so excited!

The way Heimerdinger clocks that Viktor is in love with Jayce immediately is so funny! Viktor, honey, you’re not fooling anybody. We can all see that you two are dancing around each other like lovesick idiots. When they finally get together, Heimerdinger is going to be so happy. I’m sure he’d hate to lose Viktor to the disease. I’m also sure he’d love to have his hypothesis that Jayce loves him back supported. The mentor-student bond and friendship they share is heartwarming (and honestly makes me nostalgic for past mentors I’ve had that knew me better than I knew myself during my undergraduate years).

I'm glad you liked Heimerdinger. I say it before to other commenters, but I have a certain fondness for him. And I wanted someone to support Viktor in these trying times. Since Viktor is an introvert and would never tell anyone about his feelings, this support had to come from someone close to him, who would know about Viktor's feelings for Jayce and could confront him directly about it. Heimerdinger felt like the natural choice. Although it doesn't take a yordle genius to realize Viktor loves Jayce, I think Viktor looks up to him, which made him perfect. Plus, coming from him, his warnings about Hanahaki seem much more serious and ominous.

And god damn is Viktor resilient as fuck. Sneaking into the academy and being smart as hell. Viktor must have been studying his ass off prior to sneaking in there. Being lonely probably helped him fill the time with books and tinkering, but still. You can tell how the line from the show about Viktor believing in himself despite not having anyone on his side is embodied in this story. He knows he belongs there at the Academy. He’s smart enough, he has good ideas, and he’s driven to succeed no matter what. It’s nice to see that side of him isn’t lost to the more romantic moments of the story or the progressive illness that weakens his physical body. Mentally, he’s still stronger than anyone else. You’d kind of have to be to lock down all of the pining for Jayce, am I right?

Yes, he's resilient, and brave, and strong... ❤️ And Jayce knows it and admires that about him... ❤️

“Redecorate his workshop with a huge hole in the wall,” I’m fucking cackling. Viktor’s perspective is so good. And oh oh oh seeing the way Viktor fell so hard for Jayce’s ideas of creating magic. Yes! And I knew that he loved him since they were floating together after the first successful hextech experiment. I knew it and I’m giggling but also crying oh Viktor I’m so sorry. Fucking Heimerdinger is so right. Viktor did gain Jayce’s “unswerving, everlasting loyalty,” and I will launch myself into the sun because I’m so happy he pointed that out. Jayce’s loyalty to Viktor is woven so deep into this story, in every action Jayce has. Even before Jayce realizes what new forms his love can take, he’s overflowing with devotion for Viktor as a partner.

❤️❤️❤️

When Viktor shuts down the possibility of ever distancing himself from Jayce for his own health, ugh the characterization is just top notch! Viktor is so stubborn about certain things. And damn, he will not leave Jayce. That’s so cute and sad. He can’t save himself. He’s in too deep. But why though? I want to know more about his conviction to stay. He’s clearly thought about it enough to have made a firm decision.

You will gain some insight about Viktor's conviction to stay in the next chapter, and there is another chapter (which is one of my favorites) where we see the exact moment Viktor fell for Jayce, and it shows why Viktor is as devoted to Jayce as Jayce is to him.

Rejection could be fatal? Um okay. Fear is gripping my bones now. Please don’t hurt Viktor like this I’m begging you. The first couple of chapters were so cute and I was lured into YOUR TRAP. Now the stakes are way too high, don’t remind me of what hanahaki actually does to people?!? I’m busy living in blissful ignorance that they can figure it out with hextech, damn it.

The stronger the hopelessness, the more flowers Hanahaki produces. The despair caused by rejection would be so great there is no way Viktor is ever going to breathe through the flowers that would be overwhelming his lungs and throat.

Ahah, I know. The first three chapters were all light and fun. Chapter 4 is the beginning of the angst. It marks a clear difference in tone from the previous chapters. The angst won't always be that strong, but it's definitely lurking, biding its time.

When Viktor finally gets around to the forge, he’s met by everyone’s favorite Jayce variant: muscled and sweaty shirtless!Jayce. Viktor has the same response I’m sure many of us have had, which is to lose all train of thought and wish to be crushed between Jayce’s thighs. “What? Right now?” YES JAYCE! Right now. Viktor is coughing up flowers right now because you are shirtless and incredibly attractive and smiling far too much. It’s like looking into the sun, I’m sure. Wish it wouldn’t trigger Viktor to hack up flowers though lmao (his suffering is hurting me aaaaaaa)

This was one of the funniest parts to write. Not to throw shade on fans who believe Viktor is asexual, but to me, he's definitely not. Plus I think forge!Jayce's aura (incredibly sexy and unaware of the effect he has on people) is strong enough to make people question their sexuality.

And the final scene that rips my heart from my chest. The conversation with Heimerdinger set up this part of the conflict but damn I didn’t see it coming until Viktor went stone cold and pushed Jayce away for getting too close to the truth.

Um, Jayce why are you carrying the list around with you everywhere? Am I getting that right? Is he?

Yes. The list was in his vest's pocket. And Viktor carried it without even knowing, for like, fifteen minutes. He could have found it easily. It could have fallen from his pocket, or Viktor could have felt it through the fabric and gotten curious, and Viktor would have discovered the truth. Having realized that, Jayce got pretty scared.

As much as Jayce is doing all of this to help cure Viktor, we all know he’s also doing it because he’s jealous and wants to know who Viktor likes more than him. Otherwise he wouldn’t act so guilty. The irony of Viktor not knowing this internal motivation Jayce has is going to come up later, I’m sure. But Viktor, that was…oof. That hurt.

Since Viktor asked him to get rid of it, Jayce is perfectly aware he shouldn't be in possession of that list, but you're right, deep down, Jayce knows he kept the list for reasons other than trying to save Viktor's life. He's too deep in denial to admit it to himself, though. And he would have stayed buried in denial, had it not been for Viktor snapping at him, and his reaction to it.

I’ve never read such a realistic depiction of Jayce turning into a sad puppy being scolded. He does that in the show a lot. But here, oh it’s perfect. And it made me so sad. I wanted to protect him. Please, Viktor, don’t push him away. I know he’s motivated by fear of Jayce rejecting him when he learns the truth (characterization is 10/10 but at what cost?), but I do hope they reconcile somewhat soon. I can’t stand to see them upset! I’m too emotionally invested in their relationship!

Yes, Jayce got really hurt by Viktor's reaction, but it was necessary. Jayce had to go through the pain of rejection to realize how important Viktor is to him. Viktor snapping at him, and the pain that resulted, might actually be the wake-up call Jayce needs to confront his feelings. I am actually really excited to share the next chapter with you. I can't wait for you to read it and tell me what you think!

Oh, it was so hard for me to write this because the chapter ends on a sad note and I desperately want to know what happens next. I didn’t want to relive the pain for review purposes. But I gathered my strength to tell you that your vision for this story is incredible.

You are braver than any soldier. Your courage commands respect. 🫡

Thank you so, so much! I just adore your comments, they make me so happy, I just can't stop grinning while reading them. ❤️

Before Your Sun Sets | Chapter 4 is out! 🌸

Read chapter 4 now

Start from the beginning

[cjsinkythoughts]

The Conversation

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader

Word Count: 7661 (Don’t come at me - you guys asked for it)

Warnings: !FATWS Spoilers!, Cursing, Fluff, Feelings, I Dunno What Else, This One’s Pretty Chill, Except The Ending, But You’ll See When You Get There

A/N: Here it is! I was hesitant about posting it because that means we’re getting closer to the end and I’m such a nostalgic bitch! I’m definitely gonna cry next week when the last episode comes out! Anyways, I’ve got a few things to talk about:

I think this is one of the most important chapters I’ve written and I’m excited to see your reactions to it. It is longer, but you guys asked for that, so you got it! Also, I’m loving the Asks, Comments, and Reblogs. I try to respond to all of them. I have work in a little bit, so I won’t be able to until after, but I’ll get back to you as soon as I can. Ask me anything; about my series, the show, any of the movies, personal stuff, I really don’t care. If you’re not comfortable, that’s totally fine! Every like means so much to me!

I know it’s not the end yet - we’ve got one more episode and a list of One Shots to get through - but there’s a definite feeling of this series coming to an end, and I just want to thank you all for the support and love you’ve been giving it! I’ve really enjoyed writing these characters and this story! It’s very, very special to me and I’m glad I’ve been able to share it with you lovely people!

On that note, be kind to yourselves and others! Thank you again for reading! Excuse any mistakes - this isn’t beta’d! Enjoy and stay tuned!

FATWS Masterlist

cjsinkythoughts Masterlist

!SPOILERS UNDER CUT! (Sorry for the gifs I just love them so much and he’s so pretty and this part is technically two parts so...you get four!)

“Louisiana.” Bucky hummed, looking around the airport.

You rolled your eyes. “You’re not gonna find anything interesting about Louisiana in here, doofus. Let’s call an Uber.”

“An Ooper? What the hell is an Ooper?”

You giggled, shaking your head and grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the luggage carousel. “Uber. It’s like…a taxi service. But there’s an app on your phone to get a driver instead of waiting for one on the street.”

“Oh.” He blinked, tilting his head. “That’s…helpful.”

You laughed again, stopping in front of Carousel 3, where your flight from New York was assigned. You went back to New York to grab a bag with clean clothes and other necessities, along with taking a real shower for once. It was nice to be back in the States, as much as you loved traveling. It’d been a crazy few weeks and you were ready to just relax.

“Do you think there were any problems with Sammy’s present?”

Bucky shook his head. “Nah. Especially considering they know who we are.”

You snickered at his slight grumble. They had had…problems at the other two airports - first the one in Sokovia then JFK in New York - considering Bucky’s entire arm was metal. It’d taken a full hour before they actually let you go, and by that time they had to give you a new plane because yours had left.

“Seriously. Who else has a fucking metal arm and has 1917 listed as their birth year on their Driver’s License?” You giggled again. That was also true. They thought he was messing with them. It wasn’t until you stepped in a few minutes after they asked Bucky to step to the side, seeing Bucky get frustrated, that they realized Bucky wasn’t pulling their legs.

“Well, we’re here now and that’s all that matters.”

He nodded in agreement, watching for your bags, his hand finding yours when he realized how many people there were. “Do you know where he lives? I didn’t even think about it.”

“Yeah, don’t worry. He invited me over once. I declined, but I saved the address.”

“He…invited you over?” Bucky frowned.

You gave him a look. “I’m sure he invited you, too. You just never checked his texts.”

He licked his lips, tilting his head. “Yeah, no, I know, but I mean…why didn’t you go? Weren’t you two just talking about how you wanted to meet his nephews the other day?”

“Yeah, but I had gotten a tip on Wanda at the time and I didn’t want to miss the chance that she was there. He told me it was fine. I still felt really bad. I could tell he was a bit disappointed. I think it was one of the boys’ birthdays. Or something. I don’t remember. Is that bad? Yeah, probably. I really should remember. Maybe I should keep track of birthdays on my calendar or something.”

“Doll.” You looked up to find him giving you a magnificent smile, teeth and all. “You’re rambling.”

“Oh. Am I? Sorry. I didn’t realize.”

He shook his head quickly, squeezing your hand. “Don’t apologize. It’s cute. I’m just not used to you talking so much. You kinda did on the phone sometimes.”

You shrugged, pushing down the heat crawling up your neck at his words. “I rambled a lot to Steve.”

“Oh.”

His face fell, making you scrunch your eyebrows up in confusion, nudging him slightly to grin at him. “It’s nice to have someone to ramble to again, though.” There was that smile again. You were stopped from saying anything more when you noticed some kids pointing and chattering excitedly at a gleaming silver box coming around the corner on the conveyor belt. “There it is.”

He looked over his shoulder, dropping your hand and stepping over to grab it, lifting it effortlessly. You didn’t know what was in it or how heavy it was, but you were sure it felt like a feather to him.

“Alright. Got our bag, sweetheart?” You lifted up the duffle in answer and he jerked his head towards the doors. “Let’s get outta here, then. Call that Booper or whatever.”

“U-B-E-R! Ub-er!” You threw your hands up, following him as he started walking towards the exit. “What’s so hard about it?!”

He just gave you a little smirk over his shoulder.

***************

Bucky kept asking the Uber driver questions about his job. The guy was super nice and patient the whole time, a thick southern accent lacing his answers. Southern hospitality was no joke and apparently had no limit as Bucky asked about his experiences, listening intently and telling him his own stories of taxi drivers in NYC.

When you got to Sam’s sister’s house, Bucky, being Bucky, tipped the driver half of what you paid for the ride, thanking him for his time and energy, before getting out.

“You’re so adorable, you know that?” You teased him as you stepped up the porch stairs and knocked on the door.

He rolled his eyes, a tint of pink dusting across his cheeks. “He was nice.”

You hummed at his defense, the smile never leaving your features. After a moment, Bucky raised his fist to knock again. “Jesus Christ! Don’t fucking knock their door down!” You grabbed his wrist and lowered it.

“Sorry. I forget sometimes.” Bucky informed you absentmindedly,  tilting his head to peek in the window. “I don’t think anyone’s home.”

“They’re probably at the docks, then.”

Bucky raised an eyebrow. “The docks?”

You nodded, gesturing for him to follow you. “Yeah. They have a boat, remember? He talked about it last week.”

“Oh right. The one he’s trying to convince his sister not to sell.”

“Yeah.” You confirmed. “I’m pretty sure it’s that way. I don’t know how far, but we can call the Uber back-”

Bucky scrunched up his face and shook his head. “Nah. I don’t wanna bother him again. We can walk.”

You gave him an incredulous look. “It’s literally his job to drive people around.”

“Well, yeah, but what if he’s got other people to drive?”

You lifted his metal knuckles to your lips. “Trust me, Buck, I’m sure he’d rather drive you than anyone else.”

“Thank you?”

Swinging your now linked hands, you gave a firm nod, letting him know it was, in fact, a compliment. “You are so very welcome.”

The walk was a lot longer than you thought it was, and you ended up on Bucky’s back after he kept complaining about how you “shouldn’t be walking this long” and you were “injured” and you “needed rest’”. You’re not sure how a shoulder wound affected your ability to walk, but you relented and let him carry you the rest of the way to stop his whining.

“You forget, you did pull your thigh.”

“That was, like, three weeks ago! Yeesh!”

You finally got to the docks, which were bustling with people. Bucky set you down and raised an eyebrow which you shrugged in reply to, before heading over to where you spotted Sam with a few other older men.

“How do we get it off the truck?” You heard Sam ask, pointing to a large boat engine part in the bed of a beaten up truck. Scoffing as Bucky lifted it up without breaking a sweat, you leaned against the truck. Bucky grunted and set it down, looking at Sam.

“You’re welcome.” What a punk. “Just dropping this off.” Bucky lifted the case and set it where the engine was previously, Sam coming to stand on the opposite side of the truck as you. “You can sign for it and I’ll go.” You snorted, shaking your head, making Bucky shove your shoulder - the uninjured one - playfully. “I called in a favor from the Wakandans.”

Sam looked at you curiously. You shrugged and shook your head. “Don’t look at me, Sammy. He wouldn’t tell me what it is. He’s all hushy hushy about it until you say so.”

Before Sam could reply, there was a squeak and hissing over at the boat where steam was coming from a few pipes.

“Sam!” You knew that was Sarah from pictures Sam showed you. You stayed up by the truck, pulling yourself onto the bed while Sam tried fixing the pipe, Bucky butting in to show him how to do it properly.

“Why didn’t you use the metal arm?”

You saw Bucky lift up said metallic limb. “Well…I don’t always think of it immediately. I’m-I’m right handed.” Letting out a laugh, Bucky turned around and scowled teasingly at you. “And what’re you laughing at?!”

“Nothing!”

“Well then get your ass over here!”

You rolled your eyes, hopping down from the truck as Bucky asked if Sam wanted help with the boat. You leaned against a wooden post, grinning when Sam looked at you.

“I don’t have any plans.”

Sam gave a small smile, jerking his head back. “Yeah.”

You jumped down onto the boat to follow him, looking over your shoulder and stopping with an amused eyebrow raised as Bucky introduced himself to Sarah. “I’m Bucky.”

“Ah…Sarah.”

“Sarah.” Bucky repeated her name, before walking towards you, a grin still on his lips.

“Careful, Barnes. That playboy Steve warned me about is coming out.” You nudged him with a smirk, ignoring the feeling of your stomach dropping.

He rolled his eyes, kissing your head as he passed you and Sam to go where Sam was gesturing. “Don’t worry, Y/N. You’re still my doll.”

Sam raised an eyebrow, falling into step besides you and lowering his voice. “Conversation?”

“Hasn’t happened.” You informed him through clenched teeth as he groaned.

Sam gave you a list of chores that needed to be done to clean up the boat, giving you a quick tour and letting you know where all the tools needed where. You set to work immediately.

Sanding down, replacing old parts, cleaning, polishing and painting over the things that didn’t need replacing. They didn’t let you do any heavy lifting because of your stupid shoulder, but you were still able to help.

Sam had turned on some music for you to listen to, so you danced around the boat while cleaning. Turning your head when you felt a pair of eyes on you, you smiled when Bucky snapped his head back down to the wood he was sanding down.

“Gonna dance, Barnes?”

He looked back over, shaking his head. “Nah. I’m good watching you.”

Rolling your eyes, you got back to work, continuing to bop to the music, fully aware that he was watching you now.

A little while later, you were repainting the edges of the boat orange, when you looked over and noticed Bucky playing around with a paint scraper…sitting right on the edge that you had just finished repainting a few minutes ago.

“Buck!”

He looked over, eyebrows raised. “Yeah?”

You bit your lip, trying to hold back your mischievous grin. Shaking your head, you waved dismissively. “Never mind!”

He gave you a confused sort of pout, before shrugging and continuing to fidget with the tool. It wasn’t until later when he got up to help Sam tear the metal plating off the edge that it came to light with Sam chuckling and raising an eyebrow.

“Sit in something there, Barnes?”

“What?”

Bucky craned his neck back, eyes widening when he saw the orange paint on his ass, contrasting with his jeans. You let out a cackle and he whipped towards you, pointing at you accusingly, although the small uptick of his lips let you know he wasn’t really mad.

“Y/N!”

“No, no, no!” You laughed, sprinting across the deck, shrieking when he grabbed your waist and spun you around. You gasped when he grabbed a paint brush and painted an orange stripe right down the front of your shirt. “James!”

“Justice, sweetheart.” He breathed in your ear with a chuckle.

You shook your head, wiggling out of his hold. “This is a nice shirt!”

“You should’ve thought about that before.” He smirked, crossing his arms. Your eyes caught sight of Sam behind him, who raised an eyebrow and the bucket of paint he was holding. You nodded with a little giggle, making Bucky’s eyes narrow. “What’s so funny over there, do - holy shit!

You guffawed as orange paint dripped down his head, Sam standing innocently behind him with the now empty bucket behind his back. “Samuel!”

“Oops?”

“I’m gonna kill you!”

“Try me old man!”

“Fuck!

“Doll!”

“Oh my God!”

Paint, orange and white since those were the only cans they had out, flew across the deck, paint brushes being used like fencing swords.

You found out too late that wet paint was a little bit slippery and you slid on a huge puddle, sending you, not onto the ground below, but over the side of the edge into the water. 

“Doll!”

“Cher, you good?!” 

The three of you looked at each other, stunned for a moment, before bursting into fits of laughter and you nodded. “I’m good!”

The boys helped you get back up onto the dock, Sarah appearing with towels she conjured up out of thin air. “Let’s get you into dry clothes. Do you have-?”

“We’ve got some. We got a bag.” You told her with a grin, facing the guys. “You two should clean up some, too. Sammy, you’ve got a little something right there.” You pointed to your cheek, his own having a giant white splotch from his temple to his jaw. “And Buck?” You sniggered, gesturing to the whole of him. “You’ve got a lotta something right there.” 

“Ha. Ha.” He looked down. His top was practically tiger print, drenched in orange with white here and there, and his ass still orange as well. His hair, which had been plastered to his forehead, was starting to dry now, and it only made you laugh some more thinking about what a pain it’d be to get it out. For him, at least.

“God. Can’t even have a relaxing day on the boat with you two.” Sam jested once you finished up and joined him and Bucky, who had just finished dumping out some water buckets. Bucky had changed his shirt and it looked like they tried wiping their faces, but Sam still had small lines of white down his face. “How ‘bout a couple of drinks? Surely you can’t ruin that too.”

“Ruin?” You gasped in mock offence. “Sammy! I just made the day more…interesting.”

Sam chuckled, ruffling Bucky’s hair, which still had orange streaks in it. “Let’s go get some beers.”

************

You chatted for a bit, mainly you and Sam with you asking how Sarah and the boys were while Bucky with your legs in his lap, just listening to you two and sipping at his bottle. You had his hand in your own lap, wiping it down with a rag due to the paint that got on it.

“You’re lucky this is vibranium, you know.” You commented off handedly. “If it was your other one, it’d definitely get stained.”

“And who’s fault is that?” Bucky shot back with a teasing grin.

“Sammy’s.”

Sam spluttered. “Wh-what?! You started it!” You laughed, shaking your head.

Falling into a comfortable silence with just the water and birds chirping as your soundtrack, you downed the rest of your drink, which Bucky took as finished. “Well,” you moved your legs to let him stand up. He leaned forwards to clink his bottle against Sam’s and you stood up and stretched. “Gotta catch our flight tomorrow. Get a hotel room for the night.” Sam gave you a look to which you rolled your eyes at as Bucky set down his bottle and grabbed his jacket. “Crash, you know?”

“So you’re just gonna set me up like that, huh?”

“Well I don’t wanna make it weird for your family.”

“Just stay here.” You laughed as Sam babbled on about how nice the people were here, grabbing the jacket Bucky handed to you. It was getting a bit chilly from the breeze on the water and the sun going down. Plus, that water was cold.

“But don’t flirt with my sister.”

You cackled at Bucky’s face, that turned serious, his head shaking. “No.”

“‘Cause if you do I’ll have Carlos cut you up and feed you to the fish.”

“Can’t hold back the dog, Wilson. It’s been stuck in a kennel too long.”

Bucky turned to you, grabbing your jaw and squishing your cheeks together. “You know what? You need to shush. You’ve been snippy all day.”

You just smiled as innocently as you could with your lips being held by his metal fingers. “You’re too fun to mess with.”

He pecked your nose. “As long as I’m the only one you’re messing with. I’ll be right back.” He let you go and spun around, maneuvering around the boat in a way only a trained assassin could do.

“Oh my God, please! Please just put me out of my fucking misery! You’re killing me, cher.”

“What?” You gaped at him.

“Don’t act innocent!” Sam huffed, giving you a pointed look. “If I have to watch you two make googly eyes at you one more fucking day with neither of you doing anything about it-”

You rolled your eyes. “Oh come on, Sammy-”

“Don’t ‘come on, Sammy’ me! And don’t come at me with that ‘he doesn’t like me back’ bullshit. If you think for a second that boy wouldn’t follow you to the depths of the fucking ocean, you’re blind as a bat, woman.”

You shrugged, pushing up the sleeves of Bucky’s too big jacket. “It just…hasn’t come up.”

He deadpanned, shaking his head and standing up. “That’s it. I’m done. You two are driving me insane. I’m gonna lock you in a room until you have the conversation that needs to be had the next time either of you does something stupid.”

“Yikes. That’s gonna be quick.” At his look, your smile dropped and you nodded. “Okay, okay. I’ll…I’ll bring it up later.”

“Tomorrow or nothing.”

“Sam-”

Sam tilted his head, brow creasing. “Is it still Steve? Is that what this is still about? Because he’s gone, and he’s been gone and you need to get over it-”

“No. It’s not…” You sighed. “It clicked the other day. When we were hanging out. Steve left and, yeah, I might always love him, but Bucky…God…I love Bucky, Sam.”

The man grinned proudly. “I’m glad to finally hear you admit it. So what’s the problem?”

“It’s still complicated, right? I mean…he’s his best friend and I’ve never dealt with stuff like this before and-”

Sam’s smile dropped and he groaned again. “Imma head out. I can’t take this. Dumbass and dumberass. I swear to God.” You sniggered a bit as he grumbled, walking towards the ramp to climb off the boat, just as Bucky reappeared.

“Hey-”

“Nope! Not right now, Barnes! I can’t handle it! I can’t!”

Bucky gave you a weird look. “What’d you do?”

You chuckled, shaking your head. “Nothing.”

“Well, c’mon, doll. Sarah said she’s gonna make gumbo for us, whatever that is.” He held out his hand as you walked over. 

“You’re such a city boy.” You teased lightly, taking his hand and letting him help you pull you onto the dock. You shoved the sleeves of his jackets up again since they slipped from the first time. “Let’s go get some dinner. I’m starving.”

******************

“We have the couch and a mattress we can pull out, I just have to make Sam get it from the attic-”

“That’s alright. The couch is fine.” Bucky waved dismissively while you nodded in agreement.

Sarah raised an eyebrow at you two. “For both of you?”

You blinked, exchanging a look with Bucky, before shrugging and turning back to her. “Yeah.”

“Don’t fight it, Sarah.” Sam peeked out from the hall. “They’ve got a weird relationship.” You stuck your tongue out at the man while Bucky rolled his eyes, dropping your duffle bag by the couch. “How mature, Y/N.” Sam mimicked your action.

“Uhm…okay. Let me set up the couch for you then.”

Once everything was set up, you and Bucky thanking her for dinner - delicious and you’d never seen Bucky smile so much, the boys having kept him highly entertained throughout the meal - and for letting you crash, Sam and Sarah headed to their rooms, the boys already having been tucked in for the night.

“Are you gonna sleep on the floor?” You asked quietly, sitting down on the couch and doing the things for your night routine you didn’t already do in the bathroom.

“I think I’ll be okay.” He sat besides you. “I’ve been doing fine the past week or so.”

You smiled at him. “That’s good. Alright.” You stood up and stretched. “Let me just make sure everything’s in the bag and ready-”

You yelped when his arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you into his chest, shifting down to lay against the couch’s arm. “Do it in the morning.” He yawned, looking up at you tiredly. “I wanna go to sleep.”

“Then go to sleep, Buck. I’ll be right back.” He shook his head, his hold tightening as he sunk deeper into the couch.

“No. I fall asleep better with you.”

You rolled your eyes but grinned, settling down with your legs between his, your chin resting on his sternum so you could still look at him. He beamed, but you could see the exhaustion settling in, and he grabbed the blanket Sarah left over the back of the couch and draped it across your back, over both of your legs, before his arms crossed snugly under the covers at the small of your back.

“Dinner was nice tonight. I haven’t had a meal cooked like that in ages.” You hummed.

He nodded in agreement. “I think that’s the first time I’ve sat around a table with a family since the 40′s.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Did you like it?”

“Yeah...kinda makes me wish I had my own.”

“Your own what?”

“Family.”

You bit your lip, shyly avoiding his gaze. “You’re my family, Buck.”

A light kiss was pressed to your forehead, his fingers bringing your gaze back to his. “There’s no one else I’d rather have.” The room lapsed into silence again, the clock ticking on the wall, the low sound of crickets outside.

“You have really pretty eyes.” You mumbled, tilting your head slightly as you studied them. They always held so much emotion in them, especially in contrast to when you first met him as Soldat. They matched the water you fell in, and you wouldn’t mind falling over and over into them.

“Yeah, well, you’re just really pretty inside and out, so I think you’ve got me beat, doll.” He whispered back.

“You know who else is pretty? Sarah.”

He nodded with a hum. “That’s true. But I meant what I said. You’ll always be my doll.”

“So you’re not gonna ask her out?”

He gave you a weird look as you traced his sharp jawline absentmindedly. “Nah, sweetheart. It’s just…some harmless flirting. Except on Sam’s part.”

You gave a soft huff of laughter. “Yeah…he’s gonna strangle you. It is nice to see you like that, though. Flirty. Relaxed. Happy.”

“You make me happy, sweetheart.” He hummed, nosing your temple. “The road trip helped. I’m learning everything from you. Maybe not the flirting, but the carefree part.”

You blinked at him, finger stopping for a moment as you thought. “Oh…”

You felt his fingers dance up your spine, making you shiver slightly. “What I would give to know what’s goin’ on inside that pretty lil’ head’a yours, doll.”

“I just think it’s funny you’re learning how to be carefree from me…when I just started learning how to do it myself.”

“Oh yeah?”

You nodded, your finger continuing its path down his jaw. “I think it started with the goats.”

“The goats?”

You nodded again, resting your cheek on his chest, watching your finger move up from his chin. Once you got to the end of his jaw, you lightly scratched his scruff. “In Wakanda. Our goats.” You weren’t looking at him, so you didn’t see the way he physically melted at your words, his eyes going soft, his lips turning up slightly.

“Our goats, huh?”

But your tired brain wasn’t really processing what he said, instead focusing on the features your finger was now tracing - over his lips, up his nose. “You’re pretty too, Buck. Did you know that? Inside and out.”

He craned his neck to kiss your forehead. “Go to sleep, cuddle bug.”

Nodding, you nuzzled into his chest, finger feeling over the bumps and indents on the dog tags resting near your head. You tried going to sleep, but you kept shifting, your mind not shutting off.

“Hey, sleepyhead, I’m trying to, you know, sleep.”

“Sorry.” You apologized meekly. “I just…I dunno. I can’t.”

“Are you comfortable?” He peeked open and eye to look at you questioningly. You nodded. “Is it too hot? We can take the blanket off. I know I’m a walking furnace-”

You shook your head. “No. I don’t know why. I just can’t sleep.”

He licked his lips thoughtfully, before cradling your head and guiding you back down to his chest. “Lay down, sweetheart. Relax.” He stroked your hair, moving his head down to rub circles in your back muscles, pressing down harder when he felt knots. 

You hummed, your eyes closing. “That feels good.”

“Shshsh. Just go to sleep.” His lips pressed against your head once more, lingering a bit longer than they usually do, as you felt yourself drift off. You cuddled his side, throwing a leg over his waist, before nodding off, only barely hearing his words. “Attagirl. There we are.”

******************

“Doll?” You felt a shift underneath you and groaned, your eyes barely cracking open. “Hey, sleepyhead…it’s okay. I’m just gonna slip out from under ya, alright? Gonna go help Sammy with somethin’.”

You raised an eyebrow, letting him move you against the cushions as he sat up on the edge of the couch. “Sammy?”

“Yeah.” He bent over and kissed your cheek. You stretched out your limbs, about to rub your eyes, when he stopped you, kissing the inside of your wrists. “No. Not you, doll. Go back to sleep.” 

“Bu’...’m gonna help.” You slurred out, looking at him with confused, squinty eyes.

He chuckled, shaking his head. “It’s okay. Rest. You can help when you wake up again. Okay?” You mumbled out an “okay”, bringing the covers up to your chin and snuggling deeper into the cushions. “There ya go, cuddle bug. Good girl.” There was another kiss, one to your temple this time, before you slipped back into unconsciousness.

******************

The next time you woke up was because of a clatter in the kitchen. You yawned and sat up, stretching, eyebrows furrowing when you realized Bucky wasn’t with you. It took you a moment to remember your conversation, which you half thought you dreamt.

“Boys!”

“Sorry!”

You chuckled at the shouts, rubbing your eyes. “I am so sorry!” Sarah apologized, looking over at you from the stove. Trying to make the boys breakfast before school. Do you want anything? Eggs? Cereal? Toast?”

“Uh, cereal’s fine.” You stretched out your back again, before throwing back the covers and standing up, a little shakily.

“You wouldn’t happen to know where Sam went, would you?”

You raised an eyebrow. “Uh, I think him and Bucky went to fix something on the boat. I don’t for sure, though.”

Sarah groaned. “He probably went to fix the stupid water pump which doens’t need fixing. Dumbass.”

You chuckled, padding over into the kitchen. “Yeah. I just work with him. I can’t imagine growing up with him.”

“Trust me; some days you want to throw him in a box and send him out to sea. Bowls are in that cupboard.”

You snickered, moving over to grab a bowl from the cupboard she pointed to. “That’s how I feel with Bucky. Sam is less often, but when those two get together…it’s a full zoo.”

She laughed at that, nodding as she got out the milk and a few boxes of cereal for you to choose from, handing you a spoon. “That I believe.”

“Thank you.”

“Of course.”

You started pouring your cereal, watching in slight amusement as she got the boys ready for school. “Bus is here! Get out the door! Bye! Love you! Make sure you take those extra lunches to-!”

“Yeah, mom! We know! Love you too!”

You gave a slight smirk as she huffed, looking around the kitchen at the pans and dishes left out. “Kids, huh?”

She gave you a smile. “Yeah. They’re a handful, but I wouldn’t trade them for anything. How about you? Any thoughts of kids?”

“Me?” Your eyes widened, nearly choking on your food. “Oh God no. Not right now, at least. I don’t even have a solid house right now. My life’s too off the walls for that.”

“And Bucky?”

You raised an eyebrow as she leaned on the counter. “Bucky? What about Bucky?”

“Does he want kids?”

“Uh…I dunno.” You shrugged, clearing your throat as you remembered your talk last night. “Kinda makes me wish I had my own.” You quickly pushed his words aside. “He hasn’t told me.”

“Wait, wait. You two…aren’t together then?”

You blinked, your eyes widening again. “Together? Me and Bucky? No…why? Did Sam say something?”

Her expression morphed into one of disbelief, crossing her arms. “Sam didn’t say anything. You guys did. Are you seriously expecting me to believe you aren’t together?”

“We’re not! I mean - he was flirting with you yesterday-”

“Right, okay. Honey, that’s flirting. And it’s harmless. The way he follows you like a puppy and you look at him like he hung the stars? That’s feelings. And that’s a lot more impactful than flirting.”

You frowned in contemplation. It was really that obvious? You were really that blind? This whole time? You knew Sam knew - but you just figured that’s because he’s been there since it started. And Sharon knew for the same reason. But Sarah? The woman you just met the day prior and had barely had a conversation with?

“It’s, uh…” You chewed on your cheek, swirling your cereal around. “It’s complicated.”

Sarah didn’t look impressed. “Do you like him?”

“I’m kinda in love with him-”

She shrugged, not letting you finish your bashful statement. “Then I don’t see what’s complicated about it.”

And that was that. She turned to clean up breakfast, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

You thought it was more complicated than that. I mean…you were in love with your best friend. Who left you. With the guy you had feelings for who just so happened to be your best friend/crush’s best friend. And now you were completely in love with your best friend’s best friend, but your best friend still had a piece of your heart.

But…you loved Bucky. And he was here. And Steve was not. And when you put it that way…you guess it wasn’t so complicated after all.

******************

You snickered as you walked up behind Sarah, the woman berating the men for not leaving the water pump along like she asked.

“Hi, Sarah.”

Sam shot Bucky a warning look, who grinned, but you were surprised to see Sarah ignore him, sending you a knowing glance instead, before turning back to Sam. “I told you specifically that the water pump was not the problem, and yet, here you are.”

“Yep, Samuel.”

You chuckled, Bucky shooting you a wink. “Yeah, Samuel.”

Sam narrowed his eyes at you, turning to Sarah. “In our defense, you were supposed to be done long before you woke up.”

You nearly facepalmed at his “defensive” and you were trying so hard to hold back laughing as she told Sam off, sending them away.

“I don’t wanna hear a peep from you.” Sam pointed at you, but that only made your chortles come out, and you didn’t even bother hiding them. “She’s a very mean person.”

“It’s tough love.”

You giggled as they started arguing, slipping an arm around their waists, their arms instinctually coming up to your shoulders.

“Oh my God. A prowess?”

“Yes, Y/N. A prowess.”

“You know, maybe if you someone let me help-”

“Hey, woah! You were tired! I let you sleep! I was being nice!”

“Too late now. I’ll be lucky if Sarah lets me within a hundred feet of it!”

“She got you so good, Sammy!”

“I agree with Buck for once! You’re too snippy right now! And c’mon man! Stop flirting with my sister!”

“It’s my natural charm.”

“Charm? What charm?”

“Ouch, doll! That one hurt!”

****************

“Okay.” You stepped out of the bathroom, walking over to the couch and setting the bag down on it. “I’ve got everything packed. We’ve got a little over an hour until we need to head out which gives you two time to go set something up for Sammy and maybe even a bit or training before we leave.” 

Bucky frowned. “You’re not gonna come out?”

“I will in a bit. I just got a phone call I need to take.”

Sam narrowed his eyes. “Government call?”

You gave a mocking smile. “Can you guess what they want to talk about? It’s okay. I’ll survive. It’s only a phone call, so I can always hang up. Pretend I didn’t have good service. I do it all the time.”

“I’m sure you do.” Sam chuckled. “In that case, I’m gonna go grab some stuff and get the shield.” As he walked out, he made sure to mouth at you behind Bucky’s back ‘conversation’ making you swallow thickly. You were planning on talking to Bucky anyways, and with Sam’s insistence…

“Okay, so, I was thinking when we get back-”

“Can I talk to you?”

Bucky stopped digging through the bag, blinking at you in surprise at your sudden burst. “Uh…well, we already are, so yes.” He chuckled, straightening and crossing his arms.

“I wanna have the conversation.”

He was left stunned, once again, his mouth opening and closing and his weight shifting form one foot to the other. “Like…that conversation? R-right now? Are you sure?”

You winced at her nervousness. “Sorry, sorry. I know it’s kinda…I just…I need to talk about it. Now.”

“Okay, okay. No, that’s fine. Don’t apologize. I just wasn’t expecting it.” Bucky cleared his throat. “That’s all.”

“Okay…” You breathed with a small nod. You opened your mouth, but Bucky shook his head.

“I hafta say this first; I didn’t mean to hurt you by telling you about Steve. I-I dunno what I thought. That it’d give you closure or something. I dunno. But it hurt you and I’m sorry. That wasn’t my intention.”

“Buck-”

“I was jealous. And guilty. And mad. And upset. I still am. Kinda. I guess. I dunno.” Bucky shook his head, running his hand through his hair and all you could do was gape at him as he started confessing to you. “Remember when we danced? In Madripoor? Doll…I don’t wanna dance ever again if it’s not with you. I fucking love you, Y/N. And not in the way we’ve said it before. I’m in love with you. I have been for-for a while now. I just - you were Steve’s. Steve loved you and you loved Steve and that was that and I was just the broken childhood best friend. But Steve left and he told me to take care of you and I didn’t know what to do with that, because you still love Steve. I think. I dunno. And I didn’t want to break what we have because you’re all I have left of him. You and that stupid shield. You’re my family. My home. I really meant it when I told you that. And that’s why I couldn’t tell you. Because it means too much for me to break what we have because I fell in love with my best friend’s girl. You know?”

He looked at you with pleading eyes, begging you to understand, but your brain was still trying to process what he was telling you.

“Oh God…” He groaned. “And now I just told you everything and you’re looking at me like that wasn’t what you wanted to hear and now I’m thinking this wasn’t the conversation you were thinking it was going to be-”

You were moving across the room before you could stop yourself, pulling him by the teal Henley you knew was comfortable having worn it to bed before when you visited him in New York, and slanting your lips over his.

His breathing hitched and he froze, and for a hot second you thought you made everything worse, but then he was kissing you back and his hands were on your hips and he was pulling you closer and it felt so fucking good you didn’t want to pull back for air.

“Shut up.” You muttered when you finally did pull back, your forehead against his, your eyes clenched shut. “Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up.” You pulled back to look up at him, chests heaving against each other, your eyes prickling. “I’m not good at this. I’m not good at opening up. I only ever was good at it with Steve but Bucky…I’ve been doing it with you. This whole time and I didn’t even realize it until the conversation in the car.”

He reached up to cup your cheeks, wiping away the relieved tears that were falling from the weight you were finally getting off your chest.

“I love you. I’m in love with you. How could I not be? After all that time in Wakanda? I was never Steve’s girl, Bucky. I wanted to be. Dammit, did I wanna be, but I wasn’t. Not really. And he’s gone. But you’re not. And I don’t know why it took me so long to see that. That you’re the one in front of me. You’re the one who held me when I needed it once he left. You’re the one that would listen to my rambles that I’m just realizing was most of our phone calls. You’re not just the broken childhood friend. Don’t ever think that. I don’t pick up the phone at five in the morning after searching for a friend until two for just anyone. Even Steve’s best friend. And I’m such an idiot because I’ve been pushing away my feelings all these years for Steve and then I let them out with you at the wrong time, because I love Steve, Bucky, but I’m not in love with him. Not since I fell in love with you. And I know it doesn’t make sense, but Steve was the first one I cared about and that’s just how I feel and I can try to explain, but-”

His lips crashed onto yours again and you could taste the salty tears that were pouring down your cheeks, but you didn’t care. He was holding you and he was kissing you and it was even more perfect than you thought it’d be.

“You’re adorable when you ramble, but Jesus Christ, shuddup, doll.” He breathed. “Just tell me you love me. Tell me you love me just a fraction of how much I love you.”

You looked up into those ocean eyes, your own shining with earnest affection. “James Buchanan Barnes. I love you.”

“That’s all I need to know.” He murmured against your lips, holding your head against his, still wiping away your tears. It felt like with each one that fell, you felt lighter and lighter. Like they were taking away every fear and anxiety you held within you for the past six months.

“Alright! I was thinking we could just set up in these trees out here - holy shit! Is it done? Did you do it? Did I miss it? Has the conversation been had?”

Bucky chuckled as you giggled. “He has the worst timing.” The last two words were loud enough so Sam could hear, although the man heard the whole sentence. 

“I’m gonna take that as a yes!” Sam cheered. “Halle-fucking-lujah! Finally! I was that close to locking you two in the attic.”

You shook your head at Sam’s personal celebration, drowning the rest of his words out as you looked at Bucky, who swept his thumb over your cheek catching one last tear, before pecking your lips.

“I finally get to kiss where I really want to.” He spoke softly, kissing your lips again. “Are you mine, doll?”

“I thought you said I’d always be your doll.” You answered cheekily. He grinned, kissing you again, pulling you against him by the hips.

“Okay, okay! That’s enough! We get it! You’re in love, finally, but I don’t wanna see it anymore! Now will you come help me with this shit?”

Bucky left one more lingering kiss on your lips, before you pushed him away reluctantly. “I’ll be right out.”

He nodded, moving over to help Sam carry the things he’d gathered.

You watched them put it all up from the window, gnawing on your cheek as you spun your phone in your hands. Coming to a decision, you tossed your phone in the duffle bag and walked out with it just as the boys finished.

“That was a quick phone call.” Sam raised an eyebrow.

You shrugged. “Didn’t call them. If they really need me, they’ll find me.”

Bucky grinned as you set the bag down under a tree, pecking your lips when you got close enough for him to grab by the waist to hold you against him. You rolled your eyes, shoving him playfully away and giggling as Sam let out a groan.

“Alright. Let’s see what you’ve got, Sammy.”

~

><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><

Bucky knew he needed the tough love talk Sam was giving him. He needed to hear it. Because, deep down, he had known it all along, he just refused to believe it. He tried doing it. Making amends. He knew he wasn’t though. And of course he knew immediately who that one person would be.

“And hey.” Bucky looked at him. “Let me tell you what. Telling my girl all that you told her? That’s a good start. I’m proud of you. Both of you. You’re already happier. I can see it in your eyes.”

Bucky chuckled, shaking his head as he thought of the gorgeous woman he nearly let slip through his fingers. He looked over to the house, where she was inside somewhere getting ready after suddenly deciding she needed to shower before they left. “I was stupid.”

“Yeah you were. You both were. I’m so relieved it’s over.” Sam nudged him. “Treat her right, Buck. She deserves it.”

“I know…I just hope I can.”

Sam shook his head. “Uh-uh. Don’t do that. You were just starting to use that cyborg brain of yours! She chose you. And before you say anything,” Sam cut Bucky off from speaking as he opened his mouth to object. “She chose you before Steve left. It just took her dumbass this long to realize it.”

Bucky nodded, a small smile on his face. “Yeah…okay…” Before he could say anything, the goddess herself stepped out, jogging over, looking absolutely amazing in her jeans and his t-shirt. “Good talk.”

Sam laughed at his quick ending of the conversation as she came up besides them. “Talking about me?” She asked cheekily, eyes shining. Bucky couldn’t help but take her under his arm, pecking her lips. Now that he could, he didn’t think he could stop. He was addicted to say the least.

Throwing Bucky a wink, Sam shrugged. “Just all the things that get on our nerves.”

“Ha ha.” She rolled her eyes. “We better get going.”

Bucky and Sam clapped hands. “You know Karli won’t quit.”

Bucky smiled. “Ah. You call us when you have a lead and we’ll be there.”

Y/N stepped forwards to give Sam a hug. “Anytime, Sammy.”

“Eh. Anytime between noon and midnight.” Bucky corrected. “Or noon and ten. Noon and five…you better just call at noon to be safe.”

Sam rolled his eyes. “Sure, sure.”

“Not necessarily as a team.” Bucky continued, grabbing the bag, getting Y/N back in her spot at his side under his arm.

“Nope!”

“We’re not that good.”

“Definitely not.”

“We’re professionals.”

“Definitely.”

“And, uh, we’re partners.”

Sam snapped, pointing at him. “Coworkers.”

“But we’re also a couple of guys with a couple mutual friends.”

“Ones now gone and you’re dating the other.”

“So we’re a couple of guys…with a badass to help out.”

“I can live with that.”

“Perfect.”

“Oh my God.” Y/N let out that laugh Bucky could never get enough of, shaking her head at the two of them. “You forgot dumbasses.”

Sam shook his head. “Nuh-uh. That’s your couple name.”

“Dumbasses?”

“Oh yeah.” The three of them came to a stop, Bucky and his girl - God he loved confirming it now - facing Sam. “Thanks for the help, guys. Meant a lot.”

Bucky patted his shoulder. “Of course.”

Y/N shot him a wink. “Until we meet again, Sammy.”

“Until then, cher.”

Bucky couldn’t stop his grin as she wrapped her arms around his waist, the two of them starting to walk to the main road where she already ordered an Uber. He looked down at her, kissing her lips for the nth time in the past hour.

“I wish I didn’t wait so long,” he told her seriously. “But I’d wait a thousands more centuries if it meant I get to call you mine.”

She giggled, shaking her head. “You’re such a sap! But…” she moved up to kiss him and his heart stuttered. He knew he had a goofy grin on when she pulled back, but he couldn’t help it. Especially when she laughed again. “I have to agree with you on that, Buckaroo.”

[leossmoonn]

First Love

masterlist

pairing - jess mariano x fem!reader

type - fluff, angst

note / request - requested by @arkofblake “BRO! BESTIE! LISTEN TO THIS ONE: a jess one based off of "san francisco" by the driver era. please hold your applause.” This is one is kinda sad, enjoy!

summary - six months after the breakup and it still hurts

warnings / includes - mild language, alcohol and food consumption, mentions of cheating, sad and nostalgic, make-out sessions, fighting. based on the driver era’s “san francisco”

————

*gif isn’t mine*

Holding on, I'm holding on to your clothing

Holding on, I'm holding on to our story

She kept his blue sweater, brown watch, and first edition copy of To Have and Not Have.

He kept her peridot necklace, purple cardigan, and her favorite movie that she always claimed to hate, The Notebook.

Every day he smelled her cardigan, every day she read his book. It ended six months ago, but it felt just like yesterday.

You know it suffocated our love

“You know what? I’m done!” She shouted.

“What the hell do you mean you’re done? I thought you said you would never leave, no matter what,” he scoffed.

“Oh, that is so unfair.”

“How?”

“You’re the one who cheated on me. I didn’t cheat. I’ve been faithful to you for the past five years. And you decide to cheat with your high school fling.”

“That was months ago! You’re suddenly giving up now?”

“I saw you with her the other day,” she started to cry.

His jaw dropped and he became speechless.

“I knew it. Fuck,” she muttered. “Honestly, I wasn’t even sure it was you. But now I am sure.”

“Y/n, I’m so —”

“What? Sorry? That’s rich,” she laughed cynically. She shoves past him and goes to their room, getting a suitcase and packing up his stuff.

“To be fair, we didn’t do anything!” He exclaimed, running after her.

“Then what were you doing with her that couldn’t be fucking?”

“She needs my help with something,” he explained.

“Seriously?” Y/n scoffs. “You know, if you’re gonna lie, at least half-ass it.”

“I’m serious. She needed help. I didn’t go to her place to —”

“You went to her place?” Y/n scoffed. God, this is just keeps getting better and better.” She threw all of his books, clothing, and toiletries into the suitcase, not bothering to make sure everything was neatly packed.

“She’s dealing with some personal stuff, and I’m the person she trusts the most. I’m all she has!”

“Since when did you get so charitable? And I thought you deleted her number. Was that a lie too?”

“No, I did, but she called me tens of times. I had to answer.”

“No. You could’ve blocked her number. There is always another choice, Jess. And you just keep choosing wrong.”

“I don’t know what else to say but I’m sorry and that we didn’t do anything.”

Y/n looked at him, tears shining in her eyes and flowing down her face. “I’m not sure I want you to say anything else.” She shoved the suitcase into his chest, pushing him out of the apartment.

“Can we just talk about this, please?” Jess asked.

“You’re funny, Jess. Your dead-beat dad taught you well, didn’t he?”

“Hey, I am not like him.”

“If the shoe fits, where it.”

He stood in the doorway, starting to cry. “Please, Y/n. We can work this out. I promise. I love you.”

“Apparently not enough.” She shut the door in front of his face.

That was the last he ever saw of her.

You really didn't do a thing wrong

Now he spent every minute of every day replaying their fight. He never knew how much love could hurt until she broke up with him. He never knew how much he could love someone until she broke up with him. He never knew how much he loved her.

She was the greatest. He had her and he let her go for one night of drunken fun. One night of “like old times” or whatever the hell Rory told him. And because of his selfishness, he lost the only thing that truly mattered.

Now I am superstitious of love

Y/n never had much luck with love. Believe it or not, she had gotten cheated on before she dated Jess. She fell in love so many times, imagined her life with so many different people, only to be heartbroken. She was about to give up until she met Jess.

He was rough around the edges, but had a soft spot. Although her friends warned her about his type, she ignored them and lived five blissful, loving years with them. Now as she sat on the roof of her apartment watching the sunset, she wished she would have listened to her friends. Nothing was hurting her more than losing the one person she trusted the most. The one person she thought she could have a real future with. Maybe love and marriage and kids weren’t in the cards for her.

And baby, we overplayed our song

And even throughout her relationship, she had a feeling that at a moment’s notice everything they worked for and built could burn down. And it did. Eventually.

She didn’t even know how or why. Last time she checked, they were perfect. Went on date nights, supported each other, stayed with each other through thick and thin. And the thing that destroys 5 years is one night alone with too much alcohol and the wrong person. Seems like she was too hopeful.

You weren’t my first

“I love you, Y/n,” Jess smiled.

“I love you, too, Jess,” she smiled.

“Never thought I could feel like this,” Jess sighed. Y/n giggled, “Like what?”

“Just… in love. You aren’t my first, you know, but you’re my first love.”

That was the first time he properly told her he loved her.

————

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@arkofblake @myalupinblack @lukes-orange-beanie @gallysonegoodlung @iaminlovetomhollandmarvel @itsshayfr @mystic-writings @greengarsstuff @hizziestial @mygeeknessisa-quivering @rintheemolion @lmaoidekanymore6 @gbcslut

[elthadriel]

Boosting Morale

It's been too long since Rex and Cody were together to let sharing a room with a dozen other men stop them from having sex.

And if their men want to watch, well maybe that can just be part of the fun.

Tags: Public Sex, Exhibitionism,   Begging, Anal Sex, Consensual Kink, Humiliation, Light Dom/sub, sub Cody, bottom Cody, Porn with Feelings, Praise Kink, Dirty Talk, Roleplay-ish, SubCody Week 2021 

Read on Ao3

It hadn’t even occurred to Cody to not to give up his quarters when Kenobi had mentioned there were going to be a total of six Jedi and twice as many Senators on the Negotiator for a couple of nights. It was sensible even if it hadn’t been proper procedure. He could find an empty bunk in the Trooper barracks easily enough, an event he doubted a non-clone would ever recover from.

Still, he was disappointed to be on the same ship as Rex and not have the privacy to enjoy it. At least they could still curl up in the same bunk, which was a whole lot better than being light years apart for weeks at time.

And, well, Cody hadn’t realised he’d missed sharing a room with his brothers. Private quarters once he had left Kamino were a luxury he could never have imagined and not one he wanted to give up, but there was something oddly nostalgic about being in barracks with a couple dozen other clones, a near even mix of the 212th and the 501st who had been invited to double up. He’d even missed the unashamed sounds of loud sex happening all around him as everyone settled in for the evening. The only thing that had really changed from when he shared a room with other CCs was that he wasn’t able to pick out exactly who was fucking who based on the precise sounds they were making.

That was probably a good thing; he didn’t need to know any of his men that well, or any of Rex’s for that matter.

And it turned out his frustration at not being able to enjoy one of the rare nights he had Rex got to spend together had been unfounded. It probably wasn’t the best idea to get so handsy in front of men they were expected to lead into battle, but if their vode had no concerns about getting off in front of them, it seemed only fair they got off too.

Rex kissed him like he was trying to drag Cody’s soul out through his mouth, hard and unrelenting. He was in a rough mood, teeth catching on Cody’s lower lip, tugging and sucking, drawing soft noises from Cody.

He was on his back, Rex above him, one leg pressed between Cody’s, rubbing up against him with any movement. Cody still resisted actively rutting against it, but he was more than aware the opportunity was there if he wanted it. Rex had an elbow either side of Cody’s head holding just enough of Rex’s weight to get the angle Rex wanted, the rest of Rex’s bulk heavy across Cody’s body.

Cody sighed into the demanding kisses, holding the front of Rex’s shirt to stop any chance of him pulling away; not that it was a risk he was particularly concerned about.

“Hey, Captain, nice of you to slum it down with the rest of us. Who’s your hot piece of ass?” A Trooper called out across the room with the confidence of a man who had just earned his paint.

Rex broke the kiss and Cody opened his eyes, getting a good look at him before he turned to address the Trooper. Rex was a little flushed, eyes dark, mouth quirked up in amusement.

“That would be Marshal Commander Cody,” Rex said. “Something you’d like to say to him?”

Cody turned to catch the man’s expression, the added bonus being that twisting his head displayed his distinctive scar. The Trooper went a rather dramatic shade of white.

“No Sir. Sorry Sir- Sirs,” the kid said, snapping his heels together and saluting. Around him his friends seemed torn between laughing at his misfortune and being appropriately deferential. It probably wasn’t the sort of thing they were going to let him forget anytime soon. It was an important lesson in being overly familiar with officers.

Not that it was always a bad thing for soldiers to be familiar with their COs. Cody tugged Rex’s attention back to him before the poor boy combusted. He liked how familiar Rex was with him.

“You’re a fucking moron, Vector,” one of the clones said, voice not quite low enough to prevent it from carrying.

“Gonna get your shebs sent for reconditioning. Gonna have to tell the Kaminoans you said a Superior officer could get it,” another said, Blue, a 212th man on a list in Cody’s office for potential officer training. He went a little pinker realising he was going to know exactly which of his people had watched Rex feel him up.

“Nah, the Commander’s always in a good mood when Rex is around, no rewards for guessing why. He’ll probably just put you on cleaning detail until you die.”

“It is a hell of a show though,” Blue said, and Cody knew he wasn’t supposed to have heard that part. He let it pass unchallenged. Rex’s hand was slipping under his shirt, warm even against his heated skin, and everything else seemed unimportant.

“He’s right,” Rex mumbled, breaking the kiss to suck at Cody’s neck instead. “You are a hot piece of ass.”

Cody rolled his eyes, but smiled despite himself. Their kisses were growing more heated, and the leg sandwiched between his own a more distracting presence. It was one thing to make out in a shared space, full of subordinates who were already paying more attention to them than they would any Troopers fooling around, it was quite another have sex with another officer right in front of them.

They could probably get away with frotting against each other at least. Except-

“Force, I want to fuck you so bad.” Rex said, mouth hot against Cody’s neck.

Cody groaned, shifting his hips, rubbing his semi-erect cock against the thick meat of Rex’s thigh. The muscles in his groin clenched at the suggestion, pre-come leaking from the tip of his cock, staining the front of his blacks. It had been almost two months since they’d had the time for penetrative sex, and now the idea was in his head he wasn’t sure he could settle for anything else.

Rex nipped at his jaw.

“You’d like that, huh? I could strip you out of your blacks in front of our men and fuck you while they watch,” Rex shifted from his elbows up onto his hands, looming over Cody.

“Rex,” Cody moaned, his hips twitching without his permission.

“What do you think they’d make of that? Watching the great Commander Cody spreading his legs and begging for it like a slut?

“Please.” He could already picture it, how he would look to them, reduced to a needy mess by the promise of a hard cock in him. He had such a carefully built reputation of control and unbending professionalism and there was something deliciously filthy at revealing to the men who respected him that he was as human as the rest of them, throwing all propriety aside in exchange for good hard fucking.

“Please what?” Rex asked, smirking ever so slightly. The only saving grace for Cody’s pride was the flush rising on Rex’s neck, making it clear he was as turned on at the thought as Cody was.

“Fuck me in front of them. Show them who I belong to.”

Rex’s breath caught in his throat. He pressed his thigh more firmly between Cody’s legs and Cody failed to muffle his cry. He buried his burning face into Rex’s shoulder. Fuck. The silence in the room was palpable, and he could feel the eyes of what must be everyone in the room turn to him.

He wanted this, the tent in his blacks made that more than clear, but the sharp embarrassment was dancing between exciting and too much.

Cody wrapped his arms around Rex’s back, holding him close as he decided where he was going to land on this. They’d played with this sort of fantasy before, toying with the intoxicating mix of humiliation and excitement of being watched, but fantasy and reality were two very different beasts.

Rex kissed the point just under his ear, voice more breath than sound. “We can go find a supply closet if you want?”

It certainly would be easier. They could steal from the room and find a private little corner of the ship, it wouldn’t even be the first time. But he wanted to do it here. He wanted everyone to know exactly how well Rex took care of him. He wanted the burn of humiliation fuelling his arousal.

“No. I want to do it here.”

“You sure?” Rex asked, because he worried like that.

“Positive.”

Rex bit the shell of his ear, giving a tug just the right side of painful. “You’ll let me know if it becomes too much?”

Cody nodded.

Satisfied, Rex sat back on his haunches, pulling his upper black up off over the top of his head, dropping them onto the floor by the bed. He had mostly healed burn from a too close for comfort blaster bolt along his shoulder where there was a narrow gap in their armour. Cody sat up, pressing a kiss just by the edge of it.

Before he could enjoy the rest of Rex’s newly exposed skin, Rex was tugging insistently on Cody’s own blacks, his shirt quickly joining Rex’s on the floor. Rex did exactly what he had just denied Cody, pushing him back into the mattress and ducking his head to suck a dark mark into Cody’s collarbone. Cody closed his eyes, sinking into the pillows, a soft sigh escaping his lips. Rex’s mouth was hot against his skin, and a deep satisfaction curled around his chest knowing how marked up he was going to be by the time Rex was done with him. He’d have fading bruises to trace long after Rex was gone.

Pleased with his work, Rex abandoned Cody’s collarbone in search of somewhere else to mark him only to be very quickly distracted by Cody’s left nipple. He licked a stripe over it before sucking it into his mouth, while Cody made a soft, pleased sound. Rex’s teeth teased the nub, a sharp pain that had him clutching at the back of Rex’s head to keep him in place.

“Fuck, that’s hot,” said one of the troopers said from a bunk over. They were slowly gathering closer, even those that had been actively fucking each other suddenly more interested in what Cody and Rex were up to. It was understandable, it wasn’t the sort of show that happened very often, if ever. “The Commander looks good all messed up.”

Cody wondered what Fox would have to say if he knew about this, Fox who claimed he intended to fuck his way through the entire GAR but wouldn’t so much as be seen in a state of undress more scandalous than removing his helmet by the men he directly commanded. If he and Ponds had ever managed to agree about anything it was that it was an officer’s responsibility to maintain an unshakable sense of integrity to his men. Cody somewhat doubted they would consider letting Rex fuck him as meeting that standard. This was going to make it back to the other CCs, it was inevitable, and the promise of their judgement did filthy things to Cody’s insides.

He hadn’t known this about himself, how hot he would find this.

“Check in with me?” Rex said, removing his mouth from Cody and leaving the wet skin to cool against the air.

“They think I’m hot,” he said voice already a little rough.

“You like that?” Rex asked.

Cody wanted to hide his face, somehow more embarrassed to admit that he liked being watched than in the being watched itself. There was nowhere for him to hide from how well Rex knew him however, so he just nodded.

Rex looked at him like Cody had hung the stars and planets beside. He kissed Cody with bruising force, before taking full advantage of Cody’s confession.

“They’re jealous,” Rex said. “They would do anything to be in my position right now. You spread out under them, desperate for their touch. If I wasn’t here, would you let them? Would you offer up your tight ass to your men?”

Cody whined, fisting the sheets under him.

“You would, wouldn’t you?” Rex was back at his throat, pausing his verbal torment to add another bruise to Cody’s growing collection. Only when he was satisfied with the angry mark did he continue. “Face down on the bed, ass in the air, let them take turns with you until you’re fat with their come. You think a single one of them could resist an offer like that?”

“Fuck, Rex.” He tried to grind his ass against Rex but he had no leverage flat on his back, Rex’s hands holding him in place.

“Ask me for it,” Rex ordered. “ Nicely.”

Cody let out a breathless laugh. Like he was in any state to be rude to Rex right now.

“Please, Rex.”

Rex rolled his hips, the hard line of his erection rubbing up against Cody and his thigh pressing teasingly down against Cody’s, but he made no other move to progress things.

“Louder. So our men can hear you.”

Heat throbbed sharply in Cody’s crotch.

“Please,” he said, barely any louder than the first time. Rex kissed him, mouth closed, surprisingly chaste considering the filth he had been talking only moments before. Cody squeezed his eyes shut and tried again.

“Rex, please. I need you in me. Stop teasing. Please. ” There was a tremble to his voice, but it carried across the room, and he heard someone off to the side let out a low groan accompanied by the unmistakable sound of a hand working slicked up flesh.

Force, they were jerking themselves off to this. To him.

Rex let out a low moan of his own, kissing Cody again with more force.

“You’re amazing,” Rex breathed. “I love you.”

He smiled, bright and warm, made braver by Rex’s words.

“Fuck me, please, please, Rex. ” He shifted his own leg, deciding it was only fair Rex experienced the delicious friction he’d been teasing Cody with, pressing his leg up against Rex’s bulge. Rex gasped, arms almost buckling in surprise, but while a couple of Troopers moved to sit on closer bunks for a better view, Rex wasn’t taunted into returning to their game just yet.

“I want them to see how perfect you are for me. I want them to hate me for being lucky enough to have you.” He said, voice low, speaking just for Cody. Rex threaded the fingers of one hand through Cody’s, holding his face with a gentleness that didn’t match bite marks littering Cody’s body.

They looked at each other for a moment, Rex smiling fondly, running his thumb down the scar on Cody’s face. Cody wanted him far more deeply than physically, wanted to whisper terrible vulnerable things to him, but while he was learning all sorts of new things about himself in that moment, like his apparent kink for being dommed with an audience, that was something he wasn’t willing to share with anyone but Rex.

Instead he kissed Rex’s palm and hoped that he knew.

Rex closed his eyes for a moment and when he opened them his smile widened and turned more mischievous.

“If we don’t move this along I’m going to come in my blacks like a shiny,” Rex said. He released Cody’s face to trace a line over Cody’s ass through his blacks instead.

Shit.

“We don’t have any lube,” Cody realised. He’d left it in his room, hidden among his clean underwear. He hadn’t considered this as an option.

Rex hesitated for only a moment, before his expression turned smug. He dug his fingers into the flesh of Cody’s ass, teasing the waistband of his blacks lower on hips. “I’m sure one of our roommates would be happy to donate some to the cause if we ask.”

Cody was more than aware it should be embarrassing to have to publicly ask one of their subordinates for lube but with Rex’s obvious arousal at the idea pressing against him it was impossible to care.

He nodded his consent to the suggestion and was rewarded with a playful slap to his ass, though the angle was wrong for any real force.

“Hey, Fives,” Rex called across the room. “You got any lube?”

Five’s reply came quickly enough to make it clear his attention, seemingly like every other clone in the room, was already on Rex and Cody. “I thought being prepared for all eventualities was what separated good leaders from great ones?” He asked, in what Cody was positive was a reference to something he’d said. It sounded like the sort of bullshit he sprouted around shinies. Making that kid an ARC had been a mistake, that much recognition had given him a dangerous amount of confidence.

“Delegation is an important part of efficient leadership,” Cody said, which was perfectly true, but this was probably not what anyone had had in mind when he’d been taught that. There was a smattering of laughter across the room and Cody had to imagine it was less because they suddenly found him so very witty and more because his attempt at his officer voice was rather undone by his riled up state.

“Enough with the lip,” Rex said, with a hint of his own officer voice slipping through. “Do you have some or are you going to be the reason Marshal Commander Cody doesn’t get fucked tonight?”

Cody was absently surprised that he was even able to maintain an erection with how much blood was rushing to his face. Rex made him sound like he was gagging for it. It wasn’t inaccurate, but having it shared with so many people twisted his insides in delicious ways.

“I’ve got some, give me a second.”

Cody didn’t pay any attention to Fives trying to fish out the lube, his attention suddenly taken by how Rex’s pecs looked from this angle. He wanted to lick them. Rex had a head start on marking him up, but Cody would make sure he returned the favour, if not tonight tomorrow. Rex’s chest was beautiful, but it would look even better covered in dark bruises.

There was the sound of bare feet on the hard floor and a shadow fell across the bed. Fives could have thrown it from where he was sitting, but Cody had to admit that if it had been his superior officer in this position, if it had been Alpha-17, he probably wouldn't have turned down the opportunity to get a closer look either. Fives stared down at him, lube held loosely in his hand, largely forgotten. He hardly seemed to notice when Rex reached out and took it from him, placing it down beside Cody’s hip.

Rex twisted Cody’s nipple sharply, pain blurring with pleasure and Cody arched off the bed with a hiss.

“Say thank you,” he said, before dipping his head to press an apologetic kiss to Cody’s chest.

“Thank you, Fives,” he said, turning only enough that he could see Fives out of the corner of his eye. Fives didn’t meet his gaze, his eyes locked on where Rex’s hips were flush against Cody’s, between Cody’s spread thighs.

“You’re welcome, Sir.” Fives wanted to touch him, it was clear in the tension in his hands the effect it was taking to hold himself back. Cody wished he would try. It was impossible in that moment to have any interest in anyone’s hands but Rex’s, but Rex could play the possessive partner when the scene called for it, and Cody wanted to see Rex remind Fives of his place.

He rolled his hips fruitless up against nothing, the drag of his blacks against his cock nowhere near close to enough.

Fives had just enough self-preservation not to try, but he also didn’t leave. He sat on the bed next to theirs, his dick tenting in his blacks, hands in white knuckled fists on his lap. For a second Cody considered asking him to join them, he could take Fives in his mouth while Rex fucked his ass.

“Eyes on me, Cody,” Rex said. He’d sat back up, one hand down the front of his blacks, stroking himself, the material clinging to the outline of his dick. All thoughts of Fives slipped from his head.

Rex gave him an almost bashful smile, dropping his voice again. Fives might be close enough to hear, but it was enough to mark the conversation as not part of the game. “Last chance to think better of this,” Rex said, though of course it wasn’t. Cody had no doubt he could end this at any time. He had no intention of ending anything.

For all the bluster Rex was putting on for the role, he was far from unaffected. The paper thin skin at Rex’s throat fluttered with his rapid pulse and Cody pushed himself up onto his elbows to kiss it. Rex lifted his head, giving Cody easy access, sighing happily as Cody pressed hot, open mouthed kisses to his skin.

“If you weren’t so pretty flustered and on display I might be the one thinking better of this,” The teasing tone was back, Rex’s throat rumbling under Cody’s mouth. “You’re so beautiful, I almost can’t stand the thought of sharing you.”

“You can’t get us all riled up and leave us hanging, Sir.” Steel said, ignoring the elbows from his brothers.

Rex shot Steel a look that made it very clear how little he thought of Steel’s commentary.

“He’s right, Rex, bad for morale.” Cody nudged Rex’s side with his knee. He was aroused and excited, and wanted suddenly to goad Rex into action, face the consequences of a little cheek.

Rex caught on immediately, and there was a dangerous edge to his voice and Cody was abruptly shoved back down flat to the bed. “Want to make this a regular thing? We can have bi-weekly showings? Send holovids to the other battalions of me reducing you to a needy mess, begging for cock. See how good morale is when they have regular access to Marshal Commander Cody being fucked like he was built for it. They haven’t even seen how prettily you suck dick.”

“Big word for a man who still hasn’t fucked me.”

Rex grinned, wide and excited, before he pulled himself back into his role. He grabbed Cody’s balls firmly through his blacks, enough to tumble over the line from pleasurable into uncomfortable, boarding on painful. Cody scrambled at the sheets, arching up into the touch, the air punched out of him.

He loved it when Rex was rough with him.

“What was that, Sir?” Rex asked. “If you’re unhappy with how I’m doing things I’m sure someone else would be happy to take over. Get a little Trooper over here who’ll fuck you exactly how you ask. Do you think that would satisfy you?”

“ Rex, ” he croaked, barely managing to make a sound at all. His lungs were empty and he couldn’t pull in more air. Rex’s grip on him seared like a brand and he squirmed, desperate to be released and desperate to be held tighter. No one had ever been able to ride his limits the way Rex could.

“We both know that I know what you want more than you do, don’t we?” Rex eased up, just enough that Cody remembered how to breathe.

“You do, Sir.” The title spilt from his mouth without his consent, the scene getting twisted in his head, forgetting what game they were playing. He was going to come if Rex wasn’t careful, make a mess of his blacks and their plans.

“Then would you like to apologise, Cody?” Rex’s voice was perfectly level and it made Cody’s toes curl.

“I’m sorry, fuck, I need you, Rex. Just you.” It was more of a whine than words but it was apparently enough.

Rex released Cody’s balls and he could think again. He was achingly hard, throbbing painfully already pressed up against the point of no return. He had to hope the foreplay was turning Rex on as much as it was turning him on, because he felt he wasn’t going to last long when Rex started fucking him.

Rex ran his hands over Cody’s thighs soothingly.

“ Fuck.” Fives sounded almost as ruined as Cody felt.

“Something to say?” Rex asked, returning to the game at hand.

“The fucking noises he makes, Rex. Do you mind if I…?” Cody couldn’t see what Fives gestured to, but he could imagine. There was something almost comical about Fives asking for permission to do what half the other men in the room were already doing.

“Would you like that?” Rex asked Cody, and perhaps Fives just understood the scene a little better than the others. Cody didn’t know what to do with that information.

Cody nodded, probably too eagerly.

“I don’t think he heard you,” Rex said, conversationally, but he had that same ability that all officers had, to make his voice fill a room.

“Yes,” Cody said, trying to use his officer voice too, but there was a tremble to it that he couldn’t quite bring under control.

Rex took hold of Cody’s hips, applying just enough pressure to make sure Cody wouldn’t be able to forget Rex was in control.

“Yes he can masturbate to the noises you’re making while I fuck you?”

Cody’s pulse pounded in his ears, almost enough to drown out everything else. “Yes he can wank to the sounds I’m making.”

“Him or all of them?” Rex asked, still not done forcing Cody to admit exactly what he wanted.

“All of them.” Cody couldn’t get his voice steady but no one could fault his volume. “Fuck, Rex, every fucking clone in the GAR.”

Rex’s hands tightened on him, betraying his own need.

“Well if you’re the entertainment, we really should give them something to see. Wouldn’t want to lower morale.”

Sometimes when Rex took control like this Cody was left feeling like he was floating but this time he felt grounded, hyper-aware of every sensation he was experiencing. The sheets, damp with his own sweat, sticking to his back, the too tight cling of his blacks around his crotch, the achingly familiar calluses of Rex’s hands on his skin, the way the room was already filled with the distinct smell of sex, the scattered noises from their men pleasuring themselves.

He was on the brink of drowning in it, trusting Rex to keep him from sinking completely.

“Going to get you out of the rest of your clothes, show our boys how pretty you are. Bet they already fantasise about your thighs, I know I did while you were still playing hard to get. I think you owe them a proper look after flaunting yourself around for so long.” He dug his fingers into the muscles of Cody’s thighs to prove his point, squeezing once before he shuffled back a little and pulled at the waist of Cody’s trousers.Cody lifted his hips to help and Rex pulled his blacks out from under his ass and down his legs. The air wasn’t particularly cold, but being suddenly so exposed caused goosebumps to raise across his skin. Rex’s hands returned to his bare thighs, running his fingers lightly up the inside and despite applying almost no pressure, Cody spread his legs wide under the touch, lifting his hips, drawing attention to his erect cock.

For a moment he was at the edge of genuine embarrassment at displaying himself so thoroughly, at being so visibly desperate for Rex’s touch, but while the approving noises from the troopers did nothing to soothe him, he was also successful in gaining Rex’s complete attention.

Rex took Cody’s cock in his hand, and Cody moaned, falling back into the pillow, eyes closed, and any risk of shame was consumed by the heat of Rex’s hand. No one should be ashamed of wanting this. He wrapped his legs around Rex’s back, knowing full well he would have to release him almost immediately so Rex could finish undressing, but in that moment needing Rex to be flush against him too much to care.

It was hard to care about much with Rex slowly jerking his dick, rubbing up against his ass, and giving him a look like he was the most beautiful thing Rex had ever seen.

His focus fixated on where the skin just above the waist of Rex’s blacks met the sensitive skin of the inside of Cody’s thighs. He needed more of Rex’s skin against him. He reached up, touching Rex wherever he could, running his hands over Rex’s throat, chest, waist, any part he could reach.

“You’re wearing too much,” he mumbled. “It’s not fair.���

Rex grinned cheekily at him.

“What was that, Cody?” He was still stroking Cody, with slow deliberate strokes that caused heat to pulse through him in encompassing waves. But it wasn’t what he wanted.

“Take your blacks off. Promised them a show,” he said, and then because he’d learned his lesson, added, “Please, Rex. I want to feel you, it’s been too long.”

Rex lent forward to kiss him again, hooking an arm under Cody’s knee, pulling it up with him as he moved, spreading him obscenely open, pressing their cocks together, only a thin layer of material still separating them. It was pressure that had no risk of having him shoot off early, like Rex’s careful handjob had, but the physical proof that Rex was as turned on as he was pressing against him was at least just as arousing.

It was also a deliberate denial of what Cody wanted and caught himself pouting into Rex’s kiss.

“I think the Commander gave you an order, Captain.” It was a 501st boy, one Cody thought he should recognise but couldn’t put a name to. He would have to learn it, give the little shit a medal.

“Don’t think the Commander is in any position to give orders right now,” Rex said, grinning as Cody sulked.

“Think that qualifies as cruel and unusual punishment, Sir. Blue-balling a senior officer.”

“Forget cruel to him, what about us? Gonna get a kriffing friction burn on my dick,” another 501st Trooper added.

“Your boys are as desperate as I am,” Cody said, awed.

Rex shook his head, not even really able to argue with that, but he was always one to recognise an opportunity when it presented itself.

“The 212th have been very shy,” Rex said, sitting back up, “What do you think, Clover. Want to see me fuck your CO? Want to see him squeal?”

Clover let out a sound that was more squeak than word.

Rex let Cody’s leg fall heavily back to the bed.

“Look at him, he’s desperate for it, wants to know how pretty you think he is like this, how pretty the highest ranked clone in the whole damned army is when his subordinate makes him beg,” Rex wore his achievements humbly, but smug pride at how wound up he had Cody was oozing off him in waves and Cody couldn’t get enough of it.

Rex rolled his hips again, pressing their cocks hard against each other and Cody choked out a desperate please. His head felt light, the excitement of the role catching up with him. It was so easy to let everything but his clawing need for Rex to fall away, shove any lingering sense of shame from his head. He needed Rex like he needed air, and he found it hard to care if everyone knew it.

He wanted them to tell him how gorgeous he was like this, not because their opinions mattered, but he needed to hear how perfect he looked to Rex, how jealous they were of what he provided to his partner.

“You’re keeping him waiting, Clover.”

“Yeah, I want to hear him beg, he’s so kriffing beautiful, Sir. Think they built him differently from the rest of us,” the trooper finally managed, without the confidence of his 501st brothers, but lacking none of the eagerness. “Give him your cock, Sir. He’s earned it.”

Rex pressed a finger up against Cody’s entrance, teasing the rim but refusing to push into him.

“You have been very good,” Rex mused, and then his hand was gone. “Seems to me your boys want to see you get fucked just as much as mine, yours are just politer about it”

He lent in very close, mouth brushing against Cody’s ear. “I’m desperate too. The things you do to me, Codes.”

Cody keened, twisting and catching Rex in the briefest of kisses before Rex pulled away.

Rex stood from the bed, kicking off his trousers before in record time before he was back between Cody’s legs, his cock rubbing up against the cleft of Cody’s ass, finally a promise rather than a tease.

He was gone for only a moment, but for those handful of seconds, alone without Rex’s body to shield him from the room Cody took a proper look around, and fuck, they really were being watched by everyone. His heart clenched in that perfect mix of nerves and excitement, the same feeling he got the moment between jumping from a LAAT/i and his jet-pack kicking in. He spread his legs a little wider, rolling his hip up into the air, delighting in how wanton he looked.

His eyes locked with Janad who had shed his own blacks entirely, shamelessly jerking himself off with one hand, the other wrapped around the dick of the vod next to him.

He winked and Cody blushed furiously, heat spreading quickly up his neck, but didn’t look away, not until the second Rex was back between his legs and demanding his full attention. He collected the almost forgotten lube, pouring a liberal amount out onto his fingers, some slipping off and landing on Cody, offensively cold against his heated skin.

“You know that’s the good stuff right?” Fives asked, almost disguising the shudder to his breathing. “Please don’t waste it.”

“Consider it the cost of entry.” Rex grinned, his fingers back at Cody’s ass, trailing his slicked up fingers down between Cody’s cheeks over his hole. “He likes it messy, likes it leaking out of him and down his thighs. Don’t you, Cody?”

He paused his exploring, touching the tips of his fingers against Cody’s entrance, a promise of what the correct answer would bring.

“Yes, Force. I love it when you make a mess of me. Fuck me hard and then send me off to a briefing, leaking slick and come, staining up my blacks.” They’d only done that once, and the discomfort had only just been outweighed by how hot it had made Cody feel. Rex however had been very taken with it, and fucked him again the moment he had returned to his quarters.

Rex made a choked off sound that was almost a curse and finally, finally , pushed two fingers into Cody. He let out a low moan, reaching blindly to hold whatever part of Rex was closest. His cock jumped against his belly as Rex gave him almost no time to adjust to the intrusion, pulling his fingers out to the first knuckle barely as heartbeat after he had pushed them in, only to shove them right back in again. It was a far cry from the stretch of Rex’s cock, but Cody was worked up to a point where he felt he could have fucked himself to completion on a single finger if it was all Rex was offering.

It felt so good to have something filling him.

Rex’s other hand rested on the inside of Cody’s thigh, keeping his legs parted as if Cody would close his legs for anything other than a Sep warship at this point.

Cody was up for a lot in bed, and liked to think he was flexible to whatever his partner wanted, but there was nothing that got him going in quite the same way as being fucked. He’d been utterly taken with the sensation from the very first time he’d pushed his own fingers into himself, face down in his pod back on Kamino, with medical jelly he’d stolen from the medbay as lube. He’d been so caught up in the thrill of this new way of pulling pleasure from his body he’d forgotten to catch his orgasm in the napkins he’d taken from dinner and he’d had to sleep in stained sheets for the next three days.

His own clumsy attempts had nothing on Rex’s fingers stroking against his insides.  

“Love doing this to you,” Rex said, Rex found Cody’s prostate with practised ease, curling the ends of his fingers up into it, pulling punched out gasps from Cody. He wanted to fucked, craved the fullness of it, but with Rex’s clever fingers working him open, he almost forgot that, ready to be brought off just like this. He groaned, struggling to keep himself still under Rex’s attention; he wanted to buck into that hand no matter how fruitless.

“That’s it, let them hear you.” Rex said, continuing his careful massage of Cody’s prostate, dragging more noises from him.

Cody wanted to hear them too, he wanted to know if their thoughts were as filthy as he imagined they must be. But they’d fallen silent again and Rex's efforts were making it hard to think straight.

“Rex,” he gasped.

“Tell me what you want.”

“I don’t- fuck, I don’t know.” He forced out between desperate breaths.

“Need more?” Rex asked. He could have let up, let Cody get his thoughts in order but instead he redoubled his efforts, moving his hand from Cody’s thigh to tease his balls, heavy and full beneath his straining cock.

Cody made an inhuman noise. “Please .”

“From me or them?” Rex sounded so calm, and it was driving Cody wild.

“Both, please, Rex, more.”

“Fives?” Rex asked, trusting their resident ARC to be able to run his mouth.

“Sir?” Fives was less successful in sounding unaffected.

“Is this the first time you’ve gotten off to Cody?”

Cody sucked in air sharply at the thought, Fives making the exact same noise across from him.

“No, Sir. Not the first time,” Fives admitted.

“When was the first?”

“Couple weeks after  Rishi. Echo and I got each other off and all we talked about was the Commander. How fucking hot he looked fighting those droids, his voice, his kriffing legs.”

Cody made a noise he didn’t have a name for, something desperate and eager.

“Look at him,” Rex said, and Cody could only obey.

Fives had pushed his blacks down his thighs, stroking his dick with slow deliberate movements, eyes fixed on Cody. Pre-come leaked from the head and trickled down his cock and over the back of his hand. He grinned at Cody, twisting his hand up over the top of the head of his cock, pulling most moisture from the tip.

“You want to taste it, Commander? I’m sure if you asked nicely the Captain would let you.”

“Careful, mir'sheb ,” Rex said, twisting his hand inside Cody in that particular way that sent a jolt of pleasure though Cody’s lower half. “Not sure that’s what the Commander-”

“No,” Cody cut him off. “I want to hear more.”

Fives finally looked away from Cody, but only to look at Rex, checking everyone was on board.

Rex seemed amused more than anything else. “You heard the Commander, Fives.”

Fives’ gaze snapped back to Cody, eyes darkened with lust at being permission to continue.

“You want to lap at my cock, Sir? I bet you look so pretty stuffed from both ends, can’t imagine one man is enough to satisfy you.”

Cody laughed. He’d been on some strong ass painkillers in his time and none of them had left him feeling as high as this. “Rex is.”

He shot Rex a smile, who managed to look almost bashful, ducking his head to kiss the inside of Cody’s knee. Funny that was what made him blush.

“He never shares?” Fives asked. He was getting close, jerking his hips up into his hand, his coordination abandoning him. Cody wanted to push him over that edge.

“Sometimes,” he admitted. “Sometimes he invites the other CCs into bed with us, see how much I can take. Last time- Ah!”

Rex pulled his hand almost all the way out only to shove them roughly back into Cody, taking his cock in his other hand. The sudden sensations were enough to short circuit Cody’s brain, any hope of coherent sentences forced out of his head in favour of the dual pleasure of being filled and held.

If Rex wasn’t careful he was going to abandon the game entirely. He could flip them, pin Rex to the bed instead, ride him until his legs gave out. He could have Rex in him that very second. Waiting would be better; the tease was half the fun, and Rex always knew exactly how long to make him wait, but if Rex didn’t start something soon he was going to be too horny for something that required as much brain power as delayed gratification.

“Sharing all our secrets, huh?” Rex asked. The hand around Cody was lax, and Rex kept it perfectly still even while he continued to work at his passage.

“You tell him then,” Cody said. He bucked his hips up against the loose grip, desperate for any friction he was allowed, even if it was far too little. “It’s better when you say it.”

Rex smirked and pulled his fingers out with a wet sound that seemed impossibly loud to Cody’s ears. He allowed Cody one firm jerk of his dick before that hand too was removed. Cody whined at the loss, his attention well and truly back on Rex.

Rex however was still looking at Fives.

“The last time I was generous enough to let someone else touch him,” Rex said, picking up where Cody had left off, “we worked him open until he could fit both of us in him. He could barely keep himself upright, even pressed between both of us. It took ages to make him loose enough, and he was so fucking proud of himself when we were both inside. Came all up himself.”

Fives wasn’t looking anymore, his eyes closed, fucking frantically into his hand, consumed by the image Rex was painting for him. Rex picked up the lube from the bed, dripping more down his crack and then slicking up his cock.

“I fucked him again the next morning, he was still wet from the night before, and so loose I just slipped right in.”

Fives swore, hunching over on himself, ropes of come messing up his hand and the floor at his feet.

“And after all that talk.” Rex made a dismissive huff. “You couldn’t keep up, ARC.”

Cody wanted to kiss Rex, would have if he could have done it without distracted Rex from were he was finally getting ready to fuck him. His blood burned in anticipation, hot and pulsing under his skin. Fives panted to the side, seemingly run out of things to say.

Back on mission, Rex rearranged Cody to his liking, pulling him down the bed, lifting his thighs up onto Rex’s lap, forcing all weight up on his shoulders. It lined him up nicely, and deliberately denied Cody any angle to push back against Rex from, leaving Rex in control. Cody was spread completely open, entirely at Rex’s mercy and his heart pounded.

Rex gave him a hungry once over, eyes dilated. Cody wished he felt suave enough to smirk up at Rex, but with anticipation heavy in his chest, it was all he could manage not to start begging again. Rex traced a line down the v of Cody’s hip, his cock pressed hard up against Cody. If Cody had even a little leverage all it would have taken was the slightest shift to have Rex sliding into him.

Rex apparently had one last game in mind before he allowed that. “Vector, you wanted to see the Commander’s ass, come over here.”

Vector made a startled sound, jumping to feet in surprise. He shared a nervous look with his vode before stepping closer, wearily like he was expecting the offer to be withdrawn if he drew too much attention to himself. He wet his lips, eyes raking across Cody. He was hard in his blacks, the line of his cock obvious through the material and the seal of his blacks wasn’t lined up correctly, like he had had his hand shoved down them only a moment before and hadn’t had the time to lay them flat when he had hurriedly pulled it out.

Vector edged closer, until his knees were up against the bunk, looking over Rex, directly down Cody’s spread legs. One of the 212th boys, Sunny, if Cody remembered right, cautiously followed him, staring at Cody over Vector’s shoulder with an equally appreciative gaze.

Cody squirmed under their scrutiny, feeling a primal urge to cover himself. His cock pulsed with each beat of heart, a small pool of his pre come collecting on his abs. Rex moved, his cock head nudged against his entrance, but Rex seemed content just to tease him and Cody was in no position to do anything about it.

Well, almost no position.

“Please, Rex,” he whined, giving Rex the most heated look he could manage.

Rex gives Cody an unimpressed look, completely aware of what Cody’s game was. That didn’t mean he was immune.

“Please,” Cody said again, and Rex couldn’t hide how his dick twitched at the pleading. “It’s been weeks, Rex, please. ”

“He’s gorgeous,” Vector said, awed.

“Don’t talk about him like he’s not here, Vector,” Rex warned.

“You’re gorgeous, Sir,” Sunny said, before Vector had a chance to correct himself. “Never knew you were hiding all this under your armour.”

Cody was going to split into pieces if Rex didn’t fuck him that very second.

“Ready?” Rex asked. He was looking at Vector and Sunny, but Cody nodded anyway, squirming in Rex’s lap.

The head of Rex’s cock pressed up against his rim, until his body gave up its futile resistance and Rex breached him. He pushed into him in one smooth stroke, a motion that managed to be as breathtaking no matter how familiar it became. His mouth parted and his head fell back, exposing the long line of his neck. The only sound that escaped him was a shaky, extended exhale. So much of Rex’s bare skin was against his own, and he still wanted more, even filled to his limit he ached for more.

There was always something so utterly overwhelming about knowing Rex was inside him, touching him places he couldn’t touch himself even if he tried. Rex’s cock filled him in a way his fingers couldn’t, a perfect heat stretching him open and he didn’t think he would ever have enough of the feeling.

Were Vector and Sunny looking at where Rex’s body met his, where he stretched tight around Rex’s cock, his most intimate parts on complete display for them. Or would they have stared at his face, wanting to know exactly what expression Cody made when he was penetrated. Force, these men had to follow him into battle, trust their lives to his judgement and strategy. And now they would have to do it with the image of him being thoroughly fucked burned into their memories.

He wondered if he would be able to live it down if he came all over himself right then and there.

He could feel the weight of all the eyes on him, but couldn’t look away from Rex, and the way he was biting his lip to hold in his own groan, and the way his eyes had fallen shut, overwhelmed by the pleasure Cody’s body could give him. Cody was becoming rapidly addicted to how hot his men found him like this, but he wondered then how many of them wished they could be in his place instead of Rex’s, could be the person causing that expression on his face.

Anyone who wasn’t was an idiot; Cody was convinced he was getting the better end of the deal here.

“You feel so good, Codes,” Rex said, voice a little thin. “Fuck, you’re always so good.”

He pulled back slowly, dragging his cock against Cody’s insides until the head was catching on his rim. He thrust back in with a grunt and Cody arched up off the bed, keening high and frantic, clutching at the sheets with one hand and tugging hard at his own hair with the other, needing the bite of pain to make the overwhelming pleasure of being fucked open bearable.

“So tight,” Rex managed, between uneven breathing as he began a punishing pace with his hips, shoving deep into Cody each time.

“Rex,” Cody whimpered, “please.”

“Are you always this needy?” One of the troopers asked, and Cody couldn’t look away from Rex to check who. It didn’t matter much at this point.

“Yes,” he gasped. Rex slammed back into Cody, and Cody let out a choked off groan. “Every time.”

And he was, he supposed. Even over a year into their relationship, the fire Rex lit in his chest every time they fucked hadn’t faded. Every time they were together Cody was as eager for him as the last.

“Fucking desperate for me,” Rex said somehow making it sound dirty and sweet all at the same time. Cody reached out blindly, grasping at Rex’s hand on his hip, squeezing it firmly before Rex pulled it away. Before he could complain the hand circled his cock again and all possible complaints were consumed by the burning heat in his groin.

“More, Rex, harder, please.” Cody was only vaguely aware he was babbling, every passing thought that crossed his mind leaving his mouth. He wanted Rex to fuck him so hard he would feel it for weeks and something to that affect tumbled from his lips.

“You will, Cody, I promise.” Rex pressed deep into him, stretching him to his limit, making it abundantly clear he intended to follow through. “And everyone here is going to know why you’re walking funny.”

Cody moaned, deep in his chest.

“Harder” he demanded. “I want more, please. I can take it. Don’t hold out on me.”

Rex laughed, voice hitching every time he plunged into the tight heat of Cody. “I know you can.”

Rex shifted, putting his arms under Cody’s legs, pushing himself up onto his knees, lifting Cody’s lower half completely up and off the bed, folding him almost in half. The new angle was perfect.

Rex fucked into him with fresh force allowed by the position, dragging over his sensitive prostate with each thrust. His whole body felt taught, his orgasm building each time Rex bottomed out into him and each time Rex’s hand twisted over the head of his straining cock.

“Gonna make you come all over yourself,” Rex promised. “Gonna fuck you until you can’t stand. Is that what you want?”

“Yes, Rex,” he couldn’t think straight, couldn’t imagine anything beyond Rex.

“You ever get bored of him Commander and I’ll be happy to give you what you need. Trade him in for a younger model, ya know?”

Cody had almost forgotten Fives was even there and if he had any breath left in his lungs he would have laughed at the very possibility of what Fives was offering. The goading wasn’t meant for his reaction however, even if it was ultimately for his benefit. Rex snarled, slamming his cock back into Cody with an aggressive jerk of his hips.

Words abandoned Cody completely and he let out a wordless cry.

“Didn’t we already prove you couldn’t handle him, Fives?” Rex was setting the sort of relentless pace he would normally never be able to maintain but he was as encouraged by their audience as much as Cody was and seemed to have found new depths to himself.

In the very corner of Cody’s vision Fives gestured at his cock, already erect again. That man didn’t know when to quit; it was going to get him in trouble one of these days.

“Maybe you can’t go twice this quick, but they gave me a little extra.”

Rex laughed, sharp and mocking. “He has the entire Command batch to pick from, and he still picked me, what do you think that says about how well I fuck him? But you, three months out of ARC training thing you could satisfy Commander Fucking Cody? He’d eat you alive.”

“Rex,” Cody said, it felt like the first conscious choice he’d made about what left his mouth in a while. Rex was getting distracted, and Cody was feeling greedy; he wanted all of Rex’s attention for himself, he wanted the attention of every man in this room, but he needed Rex’s.

“I’d help,” Vector said suddenly, apparently rediscovering the conference he’d had at the start of the night. “Hold him down while Fives fucks him. Sunny could suck him off.”

Sunny made a pleased noise that made it very clear what he made of that idea.

Rex growled, fixing Vector with a glare, one he had learnt from Cody himself, that was normally enough to scare anyone with an ounce of self-preservation into silence; Cody was almost honoured that the desire to fuck him was enough to make that include almost no one in the room as the increasingly detailed mutterings of how they would take him apart didn’t pause even for a second.

“Can you imagine the sounds he’d make if you edged him? He was begging almost before Rex touched him, imagine if you denied him for hours. He’s be so fucking pretty that desperate,” a 501st man said.

“Forget that, I want to see how he looks three orgasms in and being worked up to another one, so thoroughly fucked he can’t even hold himself upright.” And that was definitely Lieutenant Janad.

Rex pushed deep into Cody, balls resting up against Cody’s ass, abandoning the promised hard fucking to grind deep inside Cody while he put their increasingly bold audience in their place.

Cody bit back a grin, everything felt so good, Rex surrounding him, Fives posturing, the impossible mix of reverence and debasement from his men. But he wanted to come, and Rex needed to be brought back to task. Di'kut the lot of them.

“Hardly a brag that you need three men to do the job I do alone. If you thin-”

Cody clenched hard  around Rex’s cock and he interrupted his monologue with a shocked gasp, curling forward, almost losing his balance and toppling onto Cody. Fives failed to fully stifle his laugh and Rex gave Cody a betrayed look.

Cody laughed breathily, pulling Rex down to kiss him.

“I was doing a thing,” Rex grumbled, but accepted the kiss.

“You’re an idiot.” Cody kissed him again. “I love you.”

Rex huffed out a laugh of his own. He held Cody’s face between his hands, their audience momentarily forgotten. The warmth in Rex’s eyes, and the fond curl to his lip affected Cody more than perhaps anything else Rex had given him that evening.

“That’s kinda  sweet actually,” Janad said to some murmured agreement.

“Show them,” Cody said, hands roaming across Rex’s shoulders and down his chest, touching him everywhere he could reach. “Show them how well you fuck me, please, Rex, I’m close.”

Rex bit at Cody’s mouth, catching his lip between sharp teeth and tugging before pulling back to give him the best angle. Rex had brought him close a couple of times already, each time backing off before Cody could come, but there was a determination that made it clear Cody wasn’t going to have to wait much longer.

“I want to see him break,” Nebula said. He had stood from his bunk, him and a couple others joining Vector and Sunny crowding the bottom of the bed, leering at Cody over Rex’s shoulder. Cody glanced at each of them but his gaze was pulled back to Rex as his partner hiked his hips even higher.

It was barely even a stretch now when Rex pulled most of the way out of him only to slid that burning heat deep back inside. There was lube leaking out around Rex’s cock and coating the inside of Cody’s thighs and a line of pre-come sliding down from his cock towards his chest, more pumped out with each thrust of Rex’s hips and slide of his hand.

It didn’t take much before he was right on the cusp of coming again, each time Rex moved inside him punching a sound out of Cody’s throat. He felt like he had been hard for hours. He jerked up into Rex’s hand, muscles tightening as his orgasm grew, his thighs trembling with the strain of it. Rex was close too, could feel it in the way Rex was holding him and see it in the set of his jaw. Cody tightened around Rex’s cock, his own dick twitching at the low groan it pulled from Rex.

“Just like that, Cody,” Rex said, “You feel so good.”

“Rex,” he managed, the tension throughout his body growing to almost too much. He was already past the point of no return, caught between the heat of Rex inside him, and the heat of Rex’s hand around him. He grabbed at Rex’s shoulders as he came with a wordless moan, the building heat and strain across his body hitting the edge he’d been chasing all night. He tumbled over it, his muscles relaxing all at once as his orgasm hit him, an intoxicating mix of relief and intensity. Pleasure coiled outward, his whole body suddenly warm and lax.

One of the watching clones swore colourfully.

Rex’s pace stuttered, as Cody broke underneath him, the scene all but forgotten. He managed only a couple more thrusts into Cody before he hit own limit and came with a choked off cry of Cody’s name. He spilt deep inside Cody, hips flush together, dropping Cody’s legs as he was overtaken by his own pleasure.

Come streaked up Cody’s chest almost to his neck, hands dropping from Rex, eyes closed as he rode out the aftershocks. He collapsed into the damp sheets, his chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath. Rex hunched over him, his own breathing equally laboured, head resting on Cody’s shoulder. They were still for a moment, the room either finally stunned to silence or Cody was just too out of it to hear. Rex pressed a clumsy open mouthed kiss to the side of Cody’s neck, the strength in his hold on Cody evaporating in post-orgasm bonelessness.

Cody clutched at Rex’s shoulders, to ground himself, a reminder that he was flesh and blood and not about to slip away into nothing. It had been a long time since he’d come like that.

The noise of the room around them slipped back in, the familiar sound of masturbating and men following their example and finding someone to help them get off.  Cody felt lightheaded.

He clasped his hands behind Rex’s head pulling him out from his neck to kiss him, as uncoordinated and lazy as Rex’s own attempts.

“Love you,” he mumbled into Rex’s mouth, feeling Rex’s lips curl against his.

“Love you too.” Rex paused, and made a face. “But I’m also going to cramp, hold on.”

Cody grinned, laughter bubbling in chest.

Rex pulled out of him, bringing lube and come with him, dipping out down the inside of Cody’s legs and onto the bed below. One of Rex’s favourite tricks was to turn Cody over and eat his own mess out of Cody’s sloppy hole, but even after sharing far more of his sex life with his men than he had ever intended Cody felt he would rather that habit remain between just them. The sheets were already filthy with sweat anyway, what was a little more bodily fluid?

Rex didn’t seem up it either way, as immediately upon extracting himself from Cody flopped back down on top of him. Cody stroked the softness of his buzzed hair. Rex hummed happily.

Someone came with a loud groan of what Cody suspected was his own name. He had assumed that once he had come, and he was no longer thinking more with his cock than his head he would feel embarrassed by his actions - real embarrassment, the sort that tied his stomach in knots, not the embarrassment they had played with in the scene, where the scandal was half of the fun - but despite his concern he was still utterly relaxed. He was going to get shit for this once the CCs found out, and they would, they always did, but he felt like he would be able to shrug it off and very honestly say it had been worth it.

It might even be better for how annoyed Fox would be.

“You good, Cody?” Rex asked.

He nodded.

“Yeah, just, uh, it was a lot.” Cody said. “You?”

Rex hummed again, a deep, satisfied noise. “I’m fantastic.”

There was the sound of footsteps and Blue was standing over him, normally messy hair even messier.  Rex propped himself up on one elbow, glaring at the man who had dared interrupt their post-orgasm bliss. He was mollified almost immediately.

“Here, Sir.” Blue handed Rex a damp cloth and Cody remembered exactly why this man was being considered for a promotion. Cody decided to pretend he was imagining the dark spot on the groin of Blue’s blacks.

“Vector and Sunny look like they are doubling up if you want a clean bunk.” Blue gestured to a bed across the room.

“Thank you,” Rex said, also seemingly a little lost on how he should interact with everyone now the scene had ended.

Blue had no such reservations and saluted Rex, rotated just enough so that he was facing Cody’s straight on and clicked his heels in a second salute, as though Cody wasn’t still naked on his back, lube and come dribbling from his asshole.

Utterly unflappable.

And he would rather like to take Blue up on that offer of the bunk; he had outgrown sleeping on dirty sheets.

The cloth was cool against his overheated skin as Rex wiped up first the mess he’d made on his stomach and then down between Cody’s legs. He inhaled sharply as the cloth passed between his checks and over his sensitive rim, but even the most insatiable parts of him agreed that they were done for the night. Finally, folding the cloth over on itself to find a still clean section Rex gave his own crotch a once over. It wasn’t really enough, they were both still covered in a fine sheen of sweat, but Cody didn’t think his legs would hold him long enough to shower, even if he could face the communal freshers.

He’d been naked around enough of his men for one night.

“You want some water, Commander?” Fives asked, because apparently everyone was desperate to be helpful now. It was reassuring in a lot of ways, he wouldn’t know if he’d completely fucked up the chain of command until later, but now the scene had ended everyone seemed to be falling back into something that resembled polite interaction.

“Thank you.” He pushed himself upright, untangling himself from Rex only after reminding himself it would only be for a minute before he could cuddle up against him again, all the better for a clean bed and a cold drink.

Rex didn’t let him go very fair anyway, shifting to sit up against him, pressed together from thigh to shoulder.

Cody took the offered water bottle, noting absently that his hands were shaking just a little. He drank the cold water gratefully, very aware of his body’s needs now that they had finished. He wouldn’t have said no to something to eat either but sleep, and crawling back on top of Rex felt more immediately pressing.

He passed the bottle over to Rex who took a grateful couple of mouthfuls of his own.

“Something to be said for delegating the aftercare,” Rex said, nudging Cody’s shoulder with his own.

Cody snorted. “Maybe we should always have a shiny on hand to bring us fresh bedding and hand feed us fruit after sex.”

Fives opened his mouth to say something, but Cody shot him a look and he wisely snapped his mouth shut. Wordlessly, Fives took the empty water bottle back. It was nice to know publicly begging for cock hadn’t robbed him of his ability to glare men into silence.

“Fresh blacks for both of you on Vector’s bunk, Sir,” Janad called from across the room.

“Not sure about morale, but it certainly seems to have improved inter-battalion coordination,” Rex said, sounding genuinely impressed.

Cody rolled his eyes, painfully fond. “The 212th and 501st worked together just fine before I got my dick out.”

Rex laughed and stood, pulling Cody after him by his hand as he crossed the room over to Vector’s bunk

“I don’t know, I certainly feel like the inter-battalion coordination of certain officers is improved when you get your dick out.”

Cody groaned but didn’t try to hide is smile

Passing Rex the bottom half of one of the sets of clean blacks before climbing into his own, struggling with sluggish limbs that didn’t want to work the way he expected them to. He left the shirts folded at the bottom of the bed, sinking down into what passed as a mattress, tugging Rex impatiently after him. It only took them a second to arrange themselves how they wanted, cuddled up against each other.

“That was good,” Rex said, tracing aimless shapes onto the skin of Cody’s back. “Didn’t expect to get so into it.”

“If they don’t keep us up all night with their attempts to recreate our best hits, maybe we can give them another show in the morning,” Cody teased.

Rex’s chest rumbled under Cody’s head as he laughed. “Don’t say that too loud, they’ll get ideas.”

Cody grinned. He could think of worse outcomes.

[assembledherethevolunteers]

The Nanny Named...

A/N: Hi all! So,it’s been a while. I have been in a real nostalgic mood lately and totally binged ‘The Nanny’. Annnd then all I wanted to was write a story about it. So I’ve been writing a multi-chapter story with Y/N as Fran and Gwil as Maxwell. I hope you all enjoy this prologue. Any feed back would be appreciated! And if you��d like to be tagged, please let me know! Love you!

Pairing: Producer!Gwilym Lee x fem!Reader

Summary: You need a job after you walk out of your last one. Your friend sends you to an interview and it…doesn’t quite go as planned.  

Warnings: Cursing, some angst, and cheating

 You leaned over the counter, trying to make out what your boyfriend had written down for the specials for the night. Why couldn’t the man learn to write like an actual grown-up?

“Oooh, Y/N,” one of your best friends, Mel, came in. “Have you heard?”

“Heard what?” You replied, not looking up.

“J.C. and Erika? They just got engaged.”

That got you attention. You looked up at her. “Are you serious? They’ve been dating for what? Three seconds?”

Melanie laughed, taking her coat off. “I think closer to three weeks, but yeah. Isn’t that crazy?”

You sighed, looking back down at the notes. “To each their own, I guess.”

You were happy for them, on some level, but it was a bit hard when two people that you considered ridiculously obnoxious were engaged in less than a month but you and your boyfriend had been dating for almost four years and were still not living together.

“Think that’ll make Kurt move any faster?”

You shook your head. “No, there’s nothing that will make him move any faster. We’ve talked about it countless times. He’s just happy right where we are.”

“Yeah, but you’re not.”

You huffed, not disagreeing. You had wanted to at least living together by now. Maybe not married (you still weren’t even sure if you wanted to get married), but at least the notion that the relationship was going somewhere.

“Maybe you should bring it up to him again,” Mel suggested as she tied on her apron.

You thought about it. Maybe you should. It had been a few months since the two of you had had any kind of conversation about it. Every year when your lease was up for renewal, you brought it up just to see if you should renew. And Kurt always told you ‘yes’.

“Yeah, maybe. But for now, I’ve got to figure out these damn specials he’s decided to jot down like a first grader after a lunch of cake and ice cream.” You grabbed the paper and then knocked on the door to his office. “Kurt!”

“Yeah, babe?”

You went into the office to see him staring at his phone. He glanced up at you for a second before going back to his phone.

“Hi, sweetie, can you decipher this chicken scratch for me?” You walked over and sat up on his desk.

Kurt sat his phone down, face up, and took the paper and squinted at it himself. “Uh…I…huh. Ribs of some kind. I’ll have to go look in the fridge quick. Be right back.” He pressed a kiss to your temple before getting up and leaving the office.

You swung your legs, waiting for him to come back, thinking about the dinner rush on the Friday night that was going to hit. But hey, at least the tips would be good.

And then you saw something light up on the desk.

You glanced down to see Kurt’s phone on full brightness. With a notification from Tinder. Saying Kurt had 3 new messages waiting for him.

You picked up the phone and stared at it, fighting back tears. You’d had a feeling something like this had been going on, but it was a totally different story when it was staring you in the face.

“Beef ribs are the special tonight.”

You stood up and shoved Kurt’s phone at him. “Great. Maybe whoever these 3 can serve it!” You stormed out.

“Wait! Y/N!” Kurt chased after you. “This isn’t how I wanted you to find out!”

“Oh, fuck off!” You yelled at him, turning on your heel to yell at him. “This isn’t how you wanted me to find out!? What the hell kind of excuse is that?!”

“Can we discuss this back in the office?” Kurt offered quietly.

“No, because there’s nothing to discuss.” You untied your apron and threw it at him. “I quit and I am DONE with you! FOUR YEARS! I’ve wasted four years of my life on you in this stupid dying restaurant!”

“It’s not dying!”

You stared at him stunned. “That’s all you have to say? Four years down the drain and all you care about is this damn rat trap?!”

“It’s not a…!” Kurt took a deep breath. “You know what? Fine. Go ahead. We don’t need you around here!”  

“Obviously!” You screamed before grabbing your coat and stomping out.

You walked all the out to the street, hailed a cab, and got in the back. You gave the driver your address and then fell apart.

“Um…a…are you alright, dear?” The cab driver asked you, glancing in their review window.

You could only shake your head. “Okay, well, there should be a box of tissues under my seat. Help yourself.”

You reached down and grabbed the box, pulling out tissues. You blew your nose and wiped your eyes.

“Just put them in the trash when you’re done.”

You nodded your thanks, making a mental note to give them a big tip.

The rest of the time the two of you were silent as you tried to make yourself somewhat presentable so your roommate wouldn’t ask what happened. You were not in the mood to talk about it.

The driver pulled up to your building and told you the total. You paid and started to make your way out before they called to you.

“Whatever it was, I hope it gets better.”

You gave them a smile and wave before you shut the door and started to into your building. You ran up the stairs instead of taking the risk of running into a nosy neighbor on the elevator. You got into your apartment and collapsed on the couch. You started sobbing into your pillow.

How on Earth could he do that to you? Sure, the two of you hadn’t gone beyond dating but four years?! You had given four years of your life! Not just romantically but you’d worked your ass off to help with his restaurant. You’d hired nearly all of the servers! And three of the cooks! Who the hell was he to kick YOU out?

You woke up to your roommate, Olivia, coming home, not sure how long later.

“Y/N? What are you doing home? Aren’t you supposed to be at work?”

You sat up, your entire face felt swollen.

“Oh, Y/N,” Olivia sat next to you and wrapped an arm around you. “Did something happen at the restaurant?”

You tried to explain what happened, but you couldn’t get the whole story out without bursting into tears.

“Oh sh, sh, honey,” she rubbed your shoulder. “I know. He’s a scumbag. I’m so sorry.”

You just nodded, crying into her shoulder.

“Do you want me to call Rosie and see if she’ll let some the dogs loose in the kitchen?”

You chuckled for a moment. “Think she would? I know she’s very attached to them.”

“Well, they are shelter dogs. They deserve a good meal.”

You pulled your head up and gave her a semi-smile. “You are the best person I know.”

“If only I was available to you.”

“I can love you better than Rosie can.”

“Yeah, but can you afford an apartment in Hell’s Kitchen like she can?”

You sighed, pretending to be defeated. “I guess not. I give you my blessing then.”

“I can run down to the bodega and get some wine and ice cream. I don’t have to work tomorrow.”

“Oh good, then get something for yourself.”

Olivia pressed a kiss to your forehead. “Great, I’ll be right back.”

You laid back down when Olivia stood up.

You and Olivia spent the rest of the night drinking, eating ice cream, and complaining about Kurt. It made you feel a little better.

At nearly one in the morning, you finally stumbled to your bed, hoping that you wouldn’t dream of Kurt, the restaurant, or anything to do with your love life.

THREE WEEKS LATER

“Y/N!” Olivia announced as she came home.

“Whaaaat?” you called back to her from the couch. You’d barely left it in the past couple weeks. You’d barely even left your apartment, if you were being honest.

“I think I’ve got you a job!”

You sat up and looked at her, somewhat skeptical. “Where?”

“Manhattan.”

“Oh,” you were surprised. Olivia had been trying to get you jobs, but this was the one that sounded like it might actually be promising. “What is it?”

“Rosie’s brother has a catering gig and needs a good waitress, but the homeowners want to interview everyone individually. They want you there at 3:30 for your interview.”

You jumped up. “Are you serious?!”

“One hundred percent!”

You threw your arms around Olivia’s neck and pulled her in for a hug. “Oh thank you thank you, Ollie!”

“Ooof. You better stop thanking me and get in the shower.”

You got on the subway to make your way up to Manhattan a couple hours later. You hadn’t been there since last year when a friend of yours had their 30th birthday party at some pretentious hipster bar. 

You kept glancing at the passing stations, hoping that this was going to work out. You could still hear your mother’s voice in your head telling you that you should’ve known better than to take a job at the man that you were dating’s place of work. 

The past few weeks, you’d been miserable. You had barely left the apartment besides your runs down to the bodega to get alcohol, ice cream, or the minimal amount of groceries that you could afford and actually wanted. Your bank account was screaming at you before you’d left the restaurant, so as much as you’d wanted to just wallow in your self-pity on the past four years of your life that you had wasted, you needed to get a new job. 

You got off at the correct station and walked up the stairs, stepping onto the streets of Manhattan. This part of the city always seemed different to you. Sure, you’d grown up in New York City, but it had been in Queens. 

You walked to the correct block and took in all the gorgeous buildings that were there. It sort of took your breath away, the way the trees were just starting to bud in the spring air. 

You nearly ran into somebody on the street and apologized, hoping they couldn’t tell how out of place you were. 

This was insane. Who in their right mind would hire YOU to work some cocktail party that was going to have people there that blew what you paid in rent on a quick trip to Macy’s? You thought about turning around and just heading home, but then you remembered that your bank account had about $15 in it.

As you walked down the street, you were hit with a strong smell of rose, jasmine, and vanilla. It was comforting and made you a bit more confident in yourself. Like everything was going to work out, regardless of how the interview went.

You glanced down at your phone, making sure that it was the right address before taking a deep breath and walking up the stairs to the front door. You knocked and then waited.

A man in a suit opened the door. He had black hair and kind brown eyes. He seemed unsurprised to see you standing there.

“Hello, are you here about the position?”

“I am.”

“Well come in, come in, Mr. Lee should be ready for you soon.” He ushered you inside, taking your coat for you. “Would you like me to drop off your resume to him?”

You hadn’t thought about bringing that.

“Oh, um…no, that’s okay. I’ll just…get it to him if he asks for it.”

The man raised his eyebrows but didn’t say anything before he lead you to the couch and gestured for you to sit down.

You sat down and waited for him to return. Or for this mysterious ‘Mr. Lee’ to appear. You looked around, amazed at how high the ceilings were.

Suddenly, there was a scream from upstairs and the pounding of footsteps coming down.

“Help! Help! I’m hurt!” A little boy with dark, curly hair came running into the room. He collapsed right in front of you, his eyes closed and his tongue sticking out.

You looked down at him, trying not to laugh. “Ya okay, hun?”

The boy opened one eye, quickly shut it again, but didn’t say anything.

“Ah, Master Aled, I believe this is the third time today you’ve passed on. I’ll make sure your father and sister mourn the proper amount,” the man appeared again, stepping over the child and coming to stand in front of you. “Miss, Mr. Lee will see you in his office. If you’ll just follow me and please don’t trip over the expired, younger Master Lee. He’ll need to get up for his Little League practice in about thirty minutes.”

“James!” The boy, Aled apparently, sat up and glared at the man, James. “You ruined my plan!”

You stood up and the two of you walked into an office.  It was decorated with different awards, pieces of art. The hardwood on the floor matched the desk that was in the middle of the room. Sitting at the desk was a man writing something.

He had a dark, thick head of hair. He stood up, a pair of piercing blue eyes behind a black, horn-rimmed glasses. He was wearing a black turtleneck, gray suit jacket, and black pants.

“Hello, I’m Gwilym Lee,” he offered you his hand.

“I…um…hi,” you smiled and shook his hand. “I’m Y/N Y/L/N.”

“Thank you, James,” Mr. Lee told him. James nodded and started to leave the room. “Now, do you have your resume?”

James sent you a pointed smirk, before leaving the room all together and shutting the door behind him.

“Um…no, I don’t. Sorry, Mr. Lee.”

He frowned at you. “Alright, Miss Y/L/N. Well, tell me about your work history then.”

You cleared your throat. Rosie had neglected to tell you that the man you were going to work for was this handsome. “Well, I’ve worked in multiple, high class restaurants over the past ten years. I was working at my last job for nearly three years.”

Mr. Lee squinted at you, but you kept talking.

“And I’ve been a server, a hostess, and a bartender. I could work anywhere that you’d need me tonight.”

Mr. Lee took off his glasses and continued to stare at you.

“S…so, um…I can give you references if you need,” you finished lamely.

“Um…Miss Y/L/N, I believe there’s been a bit of a mix up.”

“Oh,” you replied, totally defeated. “I understand.”

“It’s just…this job is far too difficult to do without any experience and I think…”

“I mean, I…I have SOME experience.  I once served at the River Cafe,” you tried to argue.

“Oh no, don’t get me wrong…”

“Daddy!” A little girl came running into the room, seemingly in tears, and hugged Mr. Lee’s arm. “Aled said that there’s a monster in my closet and then he took and threw her in the closet to the monster!”

Mr. Lee picked up the girl and placed her in his lap. “Oooh Afon, sweetheart, I’m sure he didn’t mean to…”

“Yes, he did!“

“I did not!” Aled came running in too.

Mr. Lee sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Aled, please just go get the bunny out of the closet. I am in the middle of a meeting.”

“Fine, let’s go, Afon. Daddy is a veeeery busy man,” Aled grabbed his sister’s hand and took her out.

Mr. Lee just watched them leave, a somewhat longing look on his face before meeting your eyes again.

“Miss Y/L/N, this interview was for a nanny position for my children. You see, our last one just quit and I…I’ve been interviewing people for nearly a week now and…” Mr. Lee shook his head.  “I’m sorry, you don’t need to hear all my woes. I’ll have James see you out.”

Why had Rosie sent you here? If this was an interview for a nanny position you were WAY out of the running. You barely even liked the younger cousins that you had. Maybe you’d gotten the time wrong and they had meant to have the caterer interviews earlier in the afternoon?

You jumped up, an idea coming to your mind. “Ya know, Mr. Lee, I actually do have some nannying experience. I was a nanny for a family on my block every summer while I was in high school.”

It technically wasn’t a lie. You’d babysat for your neighbors. Once a week. When their mom had her PTA meetings. For about two hours.

Mr. Lee was shaking his head and standing up. “No, I couldn’t subject you to this. I’m very sorry. But if we ever need a caterer, I’ll keep you in mind.” He gave you a smile, coming around the front of his desk.

You sighed and stood up. “Well, thank you for taking this interview with me anyway,” you offered your hand again and Mr. Lee shook it.

“Of course, now could I escort you to the door?”

“I suppose so,” you told him.

Mr. Lee gestured for you to go through the door and followed you out of the room.

You were halfway through the living room when the phone rang. James, who had been wiping down the coffee table, quickly grabbed the phone off the hook. “Lee residence…yes…yes…oh how unfortunate…I will let him know…yes, thank you, goodbye.” James hung up the phone and looked at Mr, Lee. “That was the service. They won’t be able to send anybody tonight. They are booked solid.” 

“Oh no,” Mr. Lee rubbed his temples. “That’s totally unacceptable. What happened to that woman that we used last weekend?” 

“She’s refusing to come back. Something about a near death experience,” James looked over at Aled who sunk down behind the couch to hide. 

You hesitated at the door. Maybe this could be your chance. Even if he just used you tonight, as long as you didn’t kill the kids, you would get paid. And probably pretty well guessing on the house. You could at least offer, you supposed. 

“Um...Mr. Lee. If you need somebody for tonight, I’d be available.”

Everybody’s heads whipped around to you, all eyes wide, surprised. 

“Well,” Mr. Lee ran a hand through his hair and sighed heavily. “I don’t know. James, couldn’t you…?” 

“It’s my night off, sir. Remember? I’ve got my niece’s dance recital.” 

“Oh right, of course,” Mr. Lee looked you over, seemingly arguing within himself about what to do. “Look, Miss Y/L/N, I...I usually don’t do things like this, especially where my children are concerned, but I am...desperate. I’ve got a meeting with one of my biggest potential backers this evening and I need someone to watch my children. So, if you could…”

“Oh thank you! Thank you!” You pulled  Mr. Lee into a hug before you knew what you were doing. “You won’t regret this! What time should I be back here?”

“Before I change my mind,” Mr. Lee muttered.

You pulled away, laughing a bit, before you heard James say something about six-thirty. You then quickly left before Mr. Lee could’ve said anything else.

You practically ran to the subway, nearly giddy. You had a job. You FINALLY had a job! You were walking down the stairs when you pulled your phone out. You had four missed calls and fifteen text messages. Just when you were going to read some of them, it started to ring. You saw it was Rosie.

“Hey, Rose, what’s…?”

“Oh, thank GOD! Ollie, she’s okay. Where the…?”

“WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?!” Olivia yelled in the phone.

“In Manhattan at the interview your girlfriend sent me!”

“Nooo, you never showed up to the interview! We’ve been calling you for almost an hour now!”

You frowned at that. Why were they so upset? Rosie had sent you to the interview, how was she so confused?

“What house did you go to?”

“The one Rosie sent me to,” you told her slowly, hoping she would calm down. “1781.”

“She says she went to 1781,” Olivia must’ve relayed to Rosie. “That’s what you told me!…Soooo, funny story. You were supposed to go to 1871. That’s where the catering job was.”

“It’s fine! I got a job anyway! I’ll explain when I get home, but I’ve got a job tonight!”

“What?...She got a job by going to the wrong house….I don’t know! She said she would explain it when she got home…When will you get home?”

“As soon as the subway will let me.”

The whole way home you felt like you were floating. You were hoping that you would at least get paid enough to buy some groceries.

How were you going to take care of two kids tonight though? They didn’t look that old. The boy, Aled?, seemed like he was about nine or ten. The girl, in the brief moment that you had seen her, seemed to only be about five or six. You supposed you could entertain them for a couple hours. Hopefully they had all the streaming services. Just stick them in front of the TV and wait it out.

You walked into your apartment and got tackled into the wall by Olivia.

“I WAS SO WORRIED ABOUT YOU!”

You laughed and gave her a hug back. “I’m fine! You leave me here all the time to go to your girlfriend’s house, but me going into Manhattan scares you.”

Olivia pulled back and glared at you. “Whatever. Tell us what happened!” Olivia started to pull you towards the living room where Rosie was sitting on the couch. “Ronnie told us you never made it to the house and then you weren’t picking up.”

You went into the whole story of what happened. Explaining the kids, the mansion, the butler, and finally, the man that hired you.

“…name’s Gwilym Lee.”

“Wait,” Rosie sat up a bit straighter. “Gwilym Lee? The producer?”

You exchanged confused looks with Olivia.

“Oh, come on, neither of you know Gwilym Lee? He was like this huge producer at Disney. He’s been involved in all the Marvel movies.”

Your eyebrows shot up. “Are you serious?”

“Yeeeeeah, did you not see anything in his house that gave it away?”

“No,” you answered honestly. You hadn’t. You were sure that there was something that you had missed, but you were too worried about the interview and trying to get a job that you weren’t paying that much attention.

“And he’s going to trust you with his kids?”

You slowly nodded, suddenly much more nervous about tonight than you originally were.

[kaylorrehabcenter]

Rating Every Song on Fearless Based on How Gay it is

Hello friends! I still have a few song analyses in the pipeline (and one on Lover the album) but today in honor of Fearless (Taylor’s Edition) being announced and Love Story being released in a few hours I thought I’d do something fun to celebrate!

And you know what? Fuck my usual disclaimer, I am the word of god here. Try and change my mind about any of these. I dare you. (I kid I kid this isn’t that serious and you’re free to disagree <3)

1. Fearless 15/10

Everything about this song is so fucking gay oh my god. This isn’t a fruit, this is a whole ass edible arrangement. As a small rural town Gay (my hometown has a population of less that 4,000 and where I’m living now has a population of 2,500) this uh. Hits.

“And I don't know how it gets better than this/You take my hand and drag me head first, fearless”

Y’ALL

The idea of falling in love with someone who makes you less afraid of your homophobic small town…….it’s getting to me.

“My hands shake, I'm not usually this way but/You pull me in and I'm a little more brave/It's the first kiss, it's flawless, really something/It's fearless”

This is making me emotional, I'll be honest. I see so much of my friends and my experience in high school in this song. 

This quote I found on genius is from when the album was released on BMR’s website.

“When I wrote ‘Fearless,’ I wasn’t dating anyone. I wasn’t even in the beginning stages of dating anybody. I really was all by myself out on tour and I got this idea for a song about the best first date. I think sometimes when you’re writing love songs, you don’t write them about what you’re going through at the moment, you write about what you wish you had. So, this song is about the best first date I haven’t had yet.”

This just screams baby Tay writing gay folklore to me, about the gay stories she wish she had. Notice how there are no pronouns in this song??? Fruity I’m telling you.

All that to say. I’m crying because the linear note says “I loved you before I met you” and I want to go listen to Long Story Short and cry now.

2. Fifteen 1/10

Objectively pretty straight as she’s singing about her and Abigail’s dating boys in HS. And Taylor got with a senior guy. Good for her I suppose.

Unless he was one of the shitty ones in which case.

“This is life before you know who you're gonna be”

This however, is a cute line and the whole song makes me warm and nostalgic. You can also hear her crying after the line “and Abigail gave everything she had to a boy who changed his mind” which makes me emo and I’m sure will take on new depth after Abigail’s divorce and hurt me even more.

Other highlights that make me sob include.

“When all you wanted was to be wanted/Wish you could go back and tell yourself what you know now/Back then I swore I was gonna marry him someday/But I realized some bigger dreams of mine”

Bigger dreams of hers indeed :’)

(Also how can you say she’s a gold star lesbian when this song exists. She was obviously dating boys in high school and even if you think she’s a lesbian. Comp het is a hell of a drug kids.)

3. Love Story 8/10

Tried to change the ending indeed.

This is THE Taylor Swift song, and maybe it’s the nostalgia talking but damn I still love it. Written because she wanted to change the ending of Romeo and Juliet (how anyone likes RandJ enough to want to rewrite I have no clue.) and/or because her parents didn’t approve of a guy she was seeing. (according to genius, it would’ve been too early for Joe J so it could possibly be Boys Like Girls frontman, his image did clash with hers and they did release some cute songs together. However if you want my take it’s probably folklore about Emily, take for what you will)

This song has very oft gay vibes with the ‘They don’t approve of our love angle!’ but uses male pronouns so points redacted for that. HOWEVER this is a very early use of ~the male perspective~ in Taylor’s songs and for that it deserves all the love.

“ So I sneak out to the garden to see you/We keep quiet, 'cause we're dead if they knew/So close your eyes/Escape this town for a little while”

More rural town angst!!!

Nothing gets me more than rural town angst.

“Romeo, save me, they're trying to tell me how to feel/This love is difficult, but it's real”

Originally the lyric was “this love is different”. Granted I do not remember the source, i’s just lore implanted into my brain, but make of that what you will.

“"Marry me, Juliet, you'll never have to be alone/I love you, and that's all I really know/I talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress/It's a love story, baby, just say "Yes"”

Marry me Juliet from the male perspective :)

Also worth noting. This is Karlie’s (and Kim K’s lmao) favorite Taylor song which. While basic as hell. Makes this cover sad as hell to this former Kaylor. (thanks @swiftgron-get-married for the tears <3)

Also not to make this about a man AGAIN but the secret message is “Some day I’ll find this” AND SHE DID IM CRYING.

4. Hey Stephen 1/10

The one thing Camilla Cabello and I have in common is loving this song, so I have to live with that for the rest of my life.

This song is very painfully straight.

How can you think this woman is a gold star lesbian.

The only noteworthy thing is that this is one of the few songs she confirms who it’s about. The secret message is “Love and Theft” which is the name of a country music duo who went on to open her Fearless tour. Which, does make me side eye this song a little bit.

Still a cute song.

“Hey Stephen, boy, you might have me believing/I don't always have to be alone”

5. White Horse 1/10

Oh look. It’s track five. 

You know maybe this is just me being a bitch but in my ranking of track fives this is. Pretty low. Maybe on the bottom.

Like I don’t have a lot to say about it. 

She’s going through it over a guy. He was a cheating dickweazel. 

“'Cause I'm not your princess, this ain't a fairytale/I'm gonna find someone someday/Who might actually treat me well”

“Try and catch me now, oh/It's too late/To catch me now”

These lines hit though!!

And she found Joe!! Who treats her well!!!! And she isn’t the princess, she’s the prince who dropped her sword and knocked on her door!!! But this time if they come for them she’s ready!!!

Yes I will make every song about Long Story Short <3

6. You Belong With Me 5/10

Ah yes. The other THE Taylor Swift song.

You know. If I went to a high school with a cheerleading squad. And I had a crush on a cheerleader. I would blast this song. So for that it gets a 5/10. Otherwise. Fairly straight and fairly iconic.

7. Breathe 8/10

Well. We know this one is about a woman. (Emily Poe for those not in the know. Ha. A rhyme!) That alone has an 8/10. And it’s the first time she has a featured artist so bonus points for that!

It was nominated for a Grammy and it fucking lost to Jason Mraz. When’s the last time you thought about Jason Mraz.

I will not have Kaylor feels on a fucking Fearless song but damn is it VERY easy.

“Never a clean break, no one here to save me/You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand”

“It's 2 A.M, feeling like I just lost a friend/Hope you know it's not easy, easy for me”

Also this bridge? Goes off. HIGHLY underrated. 

8. Tell Me Why 3/10

You know. Maybe this album isn’t as gay as I once thought.

This song does bop though, not as good as her other angry songs on this album. But I can vibe with this you know. Why are you being an asshole mysterious man.

“You could write a book on how to ruin someone's perfect day”

This has to be one of baby Tay’s best burns. Damn. 

“Why do you have to make me feel small/So you can feel whole inside?/Why do you have to put down my dreams/So you're the only thing on my mind?”

Men ain’t shit kids. However, bonus points for the shade. 

9. You’re not Sorry 1/10

Ok, ok. Maybe this was a foolish endeavor.

Because yet again we have a very straight song. A good song. That was on Taylor’s episode of CSI. But oh dear. Very straight. Gets a measly one point. We started this post off so very very gay but damn. We seem to be nearing the end on a very straight note.

10. The Way I Loved You 20/10

Hey Remember what I said about this album being very straight.

WELL THAT WAS A LIE.

Is this a comphet album or am I projecting.

This is one of my favorite baby gay Taylor songs. Her masterful use of pronouns (he is sensible! And so incredible! And all my single friends are jealous! But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain, when it was two am and I was cursing your name!) makes the other person she’s singing about completely vague, while we know she isn’t happy with whichever guy she’s dating.

Mayhaps an early reaction to PRomances?

Either way this song is so good, truly an underrated gay gem I mean. Look at it.

“Breaking down and coming undone/It's a roller coaster kind of rush/And I never knew I could feel that much/And that's the way I loved you”

AND THE BRIDGE. Do all of her gay songs just have kickass bridges?

“He can't see the smile I'm faking/And my heart's not breaking/'Cause I'm not feeling anything at all/And you were wild and crazy/Just so frustrating/Intoxicating, complicated/Got away by some mistake and now…”

Damn. I’m imaging this with 2020 vocals and fucking ascending.

Also please watch the live performance of it from the Fearless tour. It’s such a damn shame this got cut from the movie and some woman in the front row is wearing a cowboy hat. Everyone is holding up those cameras everyone had to have before smartphones. Taylor is being endearing. It’s a good time.

11. Forever and Always 6/10

Bonus points for the ~drama~ of it all. Added last minute to the album? The iconic throwing of the chair in live performances?? All of it very dramatique and for that we stan.

Still pretty straight.

Also Joe Jonas responded to the song and why do I find his response so damn funny. “It’s part of being a musician, I guess. You write songs about each other.”

This is another song where the idea of Taylor’s grown up vocals on this is………..whew

12. The Best Day 0/10

This gets zero points because it’s about her literal mom.

Still makes me cry.

God bless Andrea Swift indeed

13. Change 13/10

We start the official tracklist with a gay song. We end it with a gay song.

We will ignore that it was originally written for Scott and BMR and instead induct it into the hall of gay pride anthems, as it should be. 

“We're getting stronger now, finding things they never found/They might be bigger but we're faster and never scared/You can walk away, say we don't need this/But there's something in your eyes says we can beat this”

“This revolution, the time will come/For us to finally win/And we'll sing hallelujah, we'll sing hallelujah”

The music video is cringe though lol

14. Jump then Fall 10/10

This song is gay because I choose it to be. <3

Like. Picture baby Taylor writing this song and playing it on her guitar to a girl she has a crush on telling her that she’ll protect her and they’ll be safe and in love and happy together. Gah, maybe I’m ~projecting~ but this sweet ass song always gets me and is EASILY in my top five Taylor songs. Super underrated and hecking cute. 

“We're on the phone and without a warning/I realize your laugh is the best sound/I have ever heard”

Like. Look at this shit.

“I watch you talk, you didn't notice/I hear the words but all I can think is/We should be together”

Tell me this is about the first time you get a crush on a girl and she’s your best friend and she’s amazing and beautiful and you realize you kinda want to kiss her and you hope she wants to kiss you too.

“I had time to think it oh, over/And all I can say is come closer/Take a deep breath and jump then fall into me”

And she’s the Romeo who's going to protect her!!!!! She’s the knight in shining armor in this song and I love that for her??

“The bottom's gonna drop out from under our feet/I'll catch you, I'll catch you/When people say things that bring you to your knees/I'll catch you/The time is gonna come when you're so mad you could cry/But I'll hold you through the night until you smile”

I won’t divulge into full on analysis here because. This is what this post is about but PLEASE listen to this song more. It’s such a gay little gem.

15. Untouchable 9/10

How does she make a cover sound gay.

It sounds so gay.

“You got to come on, come on, say that we'll be together/Come on, come on, little taste of heaven”

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay

16. Forever and Always Piano Version 1/10

This song gets 1/10 because I don’t like it. There. I said it.

17. Come in With the Rain 3/10

I can see why this is a bonus track. It doesn’t hit me as much as the other songs on the album.

But damn if I don’t want to scream sing this one driving down a high way.

18. Superstar 7/10

You can’t tell me this song is about a man. I simply won’t entertain the idea.

You cannot prove to me that this song is about a man. There is not a male pronoun in sight. 

>:)

19. The Other Side of the Door 6/10

Is this song about having a fight about being in the closet? Probably not. Will my gay little brain make it about that? Yep!

And that, funky little queer pals, is my gay rating of every Fearless song. Like and subscribe, #t3atmidnight

[ejoyce]

yo

been wanting 2 make my own personal blog so i can talk about myself.

todays topic is nostalgia. year 2014-2015

i was the stupidest fucking kid ever, still am tbh. But out of all the decisions i have made through out my life, logging into random games to socialize w/ random ass strangers was the best one yet. i will never regret that shit, i made the best memories with random people across the world, it’s absolutely devastating that i’ll never get those days back. i was the happiest and now, idk, this is probably why i feel so nostalgic, my life sucks now and all i can do is mourne over my old memories and cry about how i can never get those days back. oh well. to all the lovely people i have befriended or came across, i love you and i think about you every night man. you guys basically raised me. you guys are responsible for me being socially awkward, but i’ve learned now that i can’t hide behind a screen my whole life, thank god. i was taught racism and experienced hella of it too. good thing most of the time i pretended to be a white chick named Hailey. i miss my gross unfunny 9 year old self. i don’t know how i managed to make them laugh by making the same fart and penis jokes over and over but they were supportive and i guess we all just shared the same humor. i mean it was 2014 everything was about farts or penises tbh. also, to all my online boyfriends/girlfriends that i lied to saying i was a male, i cheated on all of yall 😭 LOL. But one particular bf i had with the derpy minecraft skin, i will never forget about you, you the only one i didn’t cheat on tbh. i miss u, u were kind of a loser tho but that’s what i was into and still am into because of you. god i just miss all my old online friends, stuck with me while i went through like 50 phases in my life and didnt mind. i wish i could get my closure but i literally forgot all my logins to everything, and maybe that’s for the best. i don’t wanna go through my cringe ass messages, best to move on tbh. anyway, thx 4 all the great memories and sorry for catfishing you guys! 😊

[maticide666]

my eurovision top 39 songs (finally)

anyway i finally got my top 39 completed. under a read more because it can get kinda long with the commentary i added klfdja;sflk (and by that i mean VERY long, maybe a wall of text if i have a lot to say about the song.)

none of this takes rehearsals into account.

basically, 39-37 i don't like, 36-35 are meh, 34-25 are decent, 24-18 are good, 17-12 i enjoy listening to a lot, 11-4 i love, and I would pay for votes for top 3 if i could.

39. Azerbaijan - Efendi - Mata Hari - Honestly, I kinda want to like this song. The instrumentation is nice, especially with the Azeri instruments. Efendi's vocals are ok during the verses. However, her vocals during the MA-MA-MA-MATA HARI part makes this song utterly unlistenable for me. It is just so distracting and ear-grating. Not great for my sensitive ears. And that is without taking anything else into account.

38. Estonia - Uku Suviste - The Lucky One - For some reason reminds me of a boring modern country song. Bland af. At least the melody of the chorus is nice.

37. Cyprus - Elena Tsagrinou - El Diablo - Discount Lady Gaga at the best points of this song. Feels like three songs at once. Also, the lyrics seem like they just went all "What Spanish-sounding words sound spicy? Taco? Tamale? Mamacita?" As a Spanish speaker and as someone of Mexican descent who enjoys those foods, this annoys the living shit out of me. At least I can make El Diablo/Fallen Angel memes out of this. (Honestly, I don't mind the gratuitous Spanish with the words El Diablo.) Also, this song got real old real quick.

36. Slovenia - Ana Soklič - Amen - The gospel vibe is nice, but there is just too much Christianity in it for me to enjoy this song. Sorry, Ana.

35. Moldova - Natalia Gordienko - Sugar - Sounds like a sugary version of Siren Song by MARUV. Kinda boring, but enjoyable in the right circumstances.

34. Georgia - Tornike Kipiani - You - Good to listen to when mind feels blank. At first I kinda liked this song, but nowadays this song has lost its charm. This won't sound out of place alongside boring 70s slow classic rock songs.

33. Austria - Vincent Bueno - Amen - Not something I would listen to regularly, but still nice. For me, easily the biggest downgrade from 2020.

32. Greece - Stefania - Last Dance - Pleasant to listen to, not much else.

31. Portugal - The Black Mamba - Love Is On My Side - Good song, but not my cup of tea. Unfortunately, some great songs have to be near the bottom of my ranking.

30. Germany - Jendrik - I Don't Feel Hate - A fun song to listen to. The novelty wears off after a while. The feel good vibes and ukulele are nice.

29. Israel - Eden Alene - Set Me Free - the song release version was bland and boring, but the revamp. Now THAT is good stuff. The song doesn't seem so empty anymore. I miss the key change from the original, though.

28. Spain - Blas Cantó - Voy A Quedarme - A very emotional and beautiful song from Spain. Again, not usually my cup of tea. However, the melody somehow gives me a nostalgic vibe.

27. North Macedonia - Vasil - Here I Stand - DAMN Vasil has a lovely voice. Nice that he's showing it off here. Too slow of a song for me to enjoy regularly, though.

26. Albania - Anxhela Peristeri - Karma - I don't have much to say other than this song is nice.

25. Bulgaria - VICTORIA - Growing Up Is Getting Old - Pleasant to listen to, but depending on my mood I think this is a beautiful song but not my cup of tea or a complete snoozefest.

24. Serbia - Hurricane - Loco Loco - Fun song, but it feels like something is lacking, and I can't quite put my finger on it.

23. San Marino - Senhit - Adrenalina - Once the initial hype from Flo Rida being on the song died down, this became another typical Eurovision bop.

22. Sweden - Tusse - Voices - At first I thought the song was completely unremarkable and couldn't understand how this won Melodifestivalen. Nowadays it's a nice song to chill to. I gotta respect a perfect televote score from the national final.

21. Ireland - Lesley Roy - MAPS - nice.

20. Croatia - Albina - Tick Tock - Grew on me slightly. Shoutout for including a verse in Croatian.

19. Switzerland - Gjon's Tears - Tout l'Univers - Another grower for me. Doesn't hit as hard as his song from last year, but I dig it.

18. France - Barbara Pravi - Voilà - Lovely chanson right here. I wish it didn't take forever to pick up, though. I was about to completely give up on this song in the middle of my first listen. I'm glad I didn't.

17. Belgium - Hooverphonic - The Wrong Place - Classy. Not much else to say.

16. Ukraine - Go-A - Shum - I'd definitely go rave to this song. I kept finding this song hard to rank due to the white voice. I couldn't decide if I absolutely adored it or if I found it grating. Maybe I just wasn't feeling well when I first thought about it.

15. Lithuania - The Roop - Discoteque - Lots of fun, doesn't have the charm that On Fire had last year. I would dance to this song.

14. Poland - RAFAŁ - The Ride - I actually kinda like this song???? Even with Rafal's vocals??? I know he has political controversies, but I can't help but think this song is nice. A better, less controversial singer would benefit this song, though. I'm not counting the revamp just yet since it was released too recently.

13. Latvia - Samanta Tīna - The Moon Is Rising - This song gives me nostalgic mid to late 2000s hip hop vibes. The guitars in this song are lovely.

12. Romania - ROXEN - Amnesia - Definitely something that can put me in a trance if I'm in the right mood.

11. Czechia - Benny Cristo - omaga - Nice, catchy, I would dance to this.

10. Malta - Destiny - Je Me Casse - Damn, Destiny has a lovely voice! And the song itself is wonderful. I'm not a fan of the amount of Swedish talent being used instead of Maltese talent, but I really do enjoy listening to this.

9. Denmark - Fyr og Flamme - Øve Os På Hinanden - another really fun song! This really grew on me. Nowadays if I want to listen to a Eurovision song, this is one of the first songs I think of.

8. The Netherlands - Jeangu Macrooy - Birth of a New Age - I can vibe with this. You can hear the passion in this song. I wish I could let my body do the talking right now, but y'all can't see that with just a tumblr text post.

7. Russia - Manizha - Russian Woman - I was NOT expecting this to come out of Russia when it won the national final. I wasn't expecting to like this either. The message is great, the instrumental is great, everything about this is brilliant.

6. United Kingdom - James Newman - Embers - A funky song. I LOVE James's voice. Massive upgrade from last year in my opinion. I'm a sucker for brass in an upbeat song. Unfortunately, I have had the staging kinda spoiled and I am VERY skeptical about this coming out of bottom five. I'm done with the BBC.

5. Australia - Montaigne - Technicolour - There is a Lot happening in this song and I am all in for it. I'm kinda terrible at parsing lyrics, but it's a non-issue when I can follow Montaigne's voice and forget about the lyrics. Ironically enough, it's Montaigne's voice that also worries me this Eurovision season - mostly whether she was able to pull off her live on tape performance off.

4. Iceland - Daði og Gagnamagnið - 10 Years - I didn't think Daði could pull it off against this year, but he did it. I like this just a little more than Think About Things, which was my favorite song last year. I'm still a little gutted that this pandemic robbed him of a probable victory, but I've made peace with it. I still need to learn the dance moves, though.

3. Italy - Måneskin - Zitti E Buoni - FUCK YEAH A KICKASS ROCK SONG IN EUROVISION! This song gave me massive rock en español vibes on my fist listen, and honestly this is something I would bang my head to if I had the same body I did when I was 15.

2. Norway - TIX - Fallen Angel - I was not expecting to like this song much, let alone becoming THIS obsessed with TIX. In fact, he wasn't even on my radar for winning MGP. I listened to Ut Av Mørket for the first time and thought something like 'this is boring af, but at least it's in Norwegian'. And then he changed it to English, which I wasn't a fan of at first. And then one day the lyrics clicked - especially with my own struggles with mental illness. To this day this is one of only two Eurovision songs to actually make me cry. Even now he still isn't my MGP winner (that honor goes to JORN), but he has definitely won my heart.

1. Finland - Blind Channel - Dark Side - To say that this song kicks ass would be an understatement for me. This song has just the right mix of rock, pop, and even metal. Ever since I found out that this song would be in the national final, I knew that it would be my favorite this whole Eurovision season regardless of who won UMK. Yes, my jaw dropped when I saw the lead Blind Channel had in UMK. I literally cancelled my plans to watch the MGP final live because of these guys. I am not disappointed. Even Måneskin couldn't bring these guys down in my ranking. And while the lyrics might be a bit iffy, they did get me through rough times. I hope these guys are able to bring rock music back like they want to. But for now, I will give them my (useless tbh) douze points.

[classycadaver]

A side blog for my main classycorpse. I'm posting any future art + writing here just cause I like making things difficult for myself. Anyways- heres a oneshot esc thing I wrote for a Post-Apocalypse esc au based around Fallout and Metro Exodus. I dont think I'll ever finish it but I was fairly proud of how the first chapter came out so I'm sharing it.

The original title for this work was "Pieces of The People We Love " and was going to follow the main plot of the founding of L'manburg up until it went boom, but through a Post Apocalyptic lense.

Reblogging is much appreciated and encouraged!

•○●○•

" Watch out for that branch. " 

    

" What bra- OH FUCK!" 

    

    Wilbur snorts at the explosive cursing behind him, smirking as he stops and turns toward Tommy. The young teen was hunched over, rubbing at his face all the while letting out a litany of curses. 

    

    " Your just a grade a fuckin' comedian, aren't ya Wilbur? '' Tommy spats venomously, glaring up at his brother. Wilbur chuckles, a genuine smile splitting across his face as he rolls his eyes. " Do you think it's funny? Trying to blind your poor, helpless, younger brother in such dire times?" Tommy adds. Wilbur notes the red line that streaks across Tommy's nose and cheek, presumably where the branch had struck him; Wilbur shakes his head as his younger brother continues to air his grievances, rolling his eyes at Tommy's overreaction. 

    

    " Well, I did warn you. Not my fault you can't follow simple commands. '' Wilbur humms back in a matter-of-factly tone. " And good job with the big words Tommy, I didn't know your vocabulary had expanded so much. Techno would be proud. " 

    

    Wilbur is already turning around, walking further along the path the two were currently traversing. Tommy fumbles with himself, trying to think of a response as he hurries after Wilbur. Tommy has to lengthen his gate to match Wilburs pace, almost fast walking to keep up with the taller man. 

    

    " I- well-.... whatever, you're a jerk, I don't have to explain myself to you. " Tommy hisses, crossing his arms over his chest defensively.  " Plus- dire isn't a big word. Anyone can say dire, bitch. " The blonde added hotly. 

     " Whatever you say, Tommy. " Wilbur chuckles, waving off his younger brother. Tommy gapes at him, taken aback at being dismissed so swiftly.  

    " Did you just wake up on the ' let's bully Tommy today' side of the bed this morning? Cause you're being a pretty big dick, Wil, not gonna lie. " Tommy grumbles, glaring holes into the back of Wilbur's head. Wil simply shrugs, letting out an exasperated noise that indicated he was clueless towards Tommy's accusations. " I have no idea what youre talking about,Toms. " Wilbur hums. " Someones just extra sensitive today it seems. " 

     Wilbur cackles when Tommy punches him in the side, a string of angry curses leaving the teens mouth. The punch had no real anger or malice behind it, but the younger boy's bony knuckles dug into Wilburs side almost painfully, leaving a sting where Tommy's fist had struck Wil's side. The taller of the two let's out a huff, a shaky, wheezing, laughter following it. 

    " This is older sibling abuse-!" Wilbur laughs. The darker haired man dodges another swing aimed toward his arm, he catches Tommy's fist in the air. Wilbur is quick to spin the agitated teenager away from him, snorting humorously as Tommy almost loses his footing. Tommy desperately tries to catch his balance less he falls head over heels into the dirt road. 

     " Fockin- What the hell do you call that, then?" Tommy yells back at Wilbur, gesturing to the open space around them. " 'Older Sibling abuse' my ass!" The blonde growls, throwing his hands in the air. Tommy stands his ground, arms crossed over his chest as he stares Wilbur down with narrowed eyes. 

    " I demand an apology. " Tommy practically growls in a haughty tone. 

    " A- you can't be serious?" Wilbur stops in his tracks, looking at Tommy with a exspression that screams 'your bullshiting me, right?'. " You started it!" Wilbur accuses, letting out an airy laugh of disbelief.  " You want me to apologize for defending myself against such a brutal attack?" 

     Tommy's gaze seemingly hardens at Wilbur's words. His brow furrows and his mouth sets into a deep frown. Wilbur finds the look downright adorable. It sparks a small nostalgic memory for wilbur, reminding him of the earlier days with his brother- when Tommy used to pout whenever things didn't go his way. Although it seems like not much has changed over the years. 

Wilbur lets out a long, drawn out sigh; a hand flies to his face, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose as he shakes his head. " Fine. " Wilbur knew that Tommy wouldn't let something as simple as this go so fast, it was best to just apologize and get it over with. Internally, Wilbur cheers himself on by being such a good older sibling. 

    " Tommy I'm sorry-" Tommy looks at Wilbur triumphantly, a smirk already replacing his frown. Wilbur suddenly narrows his eyes behind his glasses, " I'm sorry for defending myself against a rather vicious attack. " He finishes. Wilbur mirrors Tommy's fading smirk as he turns away, suddenly dismissing the teen with a simple wave of his hand. Still a totally honorable older sibling thing to do. 

     " Asshole!"

     Wilbur snickers, shoving his hands into his pockets as he hears Tommy's encroaching footsteps. 

     " You think you're so-" 

     " About a mile up this road and We'll reach Essmpy." Wilbur interjects into Tommy's sentence, smiling softly as he watches his brother give him a death glare. There's a few beats of silence that pass between them, only the ambiance of nature filling in the gaps. The quietness seems to calm Tommy down considerably; the teen walking behind Wilbur in uncharacteristic silence. Wlibur cast a glance over his shoulder, observing Tommy with a mild sense of worry. Wil opens and closes his mouth, unable to find the words he's looking for. Eventually Wilbur lets it go, content with the silence. 

   But the quietness doesn't last long before Tommy begins to talk. " I'm not letting that go, by the way-you shit head. I'm holding that against you, until you actually apologize." The blonde declares, looking pointedly at Wilbur before looking away. Wilbur simply shrugs, deciding that there were worse fates than a brother's faux hatred. 

    A pregnant pause follows Tommys sentence, although Wilbur can tell the boy was attempting to put together another string of words. Wilbur walks patiently alongside Tommy, slowing his pace considerably." Do you think Techno will be there? Or.. or Phil?" Wilbur seems to be caught off guard by Tommy's question. The taller man's gate stutters as he tries to formulate a response. " Maybe? I don't know. '' Wilbur chokes out, furrowing his brow. " I mean-.. Techno was all the way up near Glay'seir. Doing college stuff and what not. So he's probably still up there, yea? I heard they were pretty well fortified, so Techs… okay, most likely. '' Wil blurts out, looking at the road ahead of them. His brown gaze flits over to Tommy, who had fallen back into a concerning quietness.

    The blonde simply nodded his head, looking down at the beaten dirt path below his boots, subconsciously wringing his gloved hands. He quickly pushes down his anxieties, shoving his hands to his sides as he thinks of something funny- anything to get rid of the melancholy mood.

    Tommy grunts when he smacks into Wilburs back, huffing agitatedly as he stumbles back a few feet, an insult already on the tip of his tongue. Before he can say a word, Wilbur whirls around, grabbing Tommy's hand as he starts to run the way they had just come. 

     Tommy barely has time to collect himself before he gets jerked backwards by the force of Wilburs hold on his hand. He nearly trips over his own feet in an attempt to keep up with Wilbur, the anxiety and fear building up in his chest making it even harder to focus on where he's running. 

     In another quick motion, they stop. Wilbur ducks past one of the shrubs lining the road, tugging Tommy in after him. Before he knows it, they're both sitting behind a tree, covered by the foliage surrounding them. Tommy scowls at the uncomfortable feeling of roots, sticks, and leaves beneath him; but he does not express his disdain for the area Wilbur chose to hide them in. 

     " What was it?" Tommy whispers, trying to peer past the tree trunk to get a glimpse of whatever Wil had seen. Tommy is immediately pulled back, a hand planted over his mouth as Wilbur shushed him. The blonde glares at Wilbur, scowling as he pushes Wils hand away from his face, grumbling angrily at his brother. 

     They wait in uncomfortable silence. Tommy listens intently for any sign of movement, but only hears the general ambiance of the forest. He lets out an exasperated sigh after what feels like ages of waiting, head thudding against the trunk of the tree before turning to Wilbur. 

     " Come on Wil, there's literally nothing out there-” Tommy's mouth snaps shut, body going completely rigid and eyes practically bulging from their sockets. Fear silences any words from escaping his mouth as he stares at the thing Wilbur had apparently seen earlier. He feels Wilbur tense next to him as the brunette moves into a crouched position, his hand clenching Tommy's  hand almost painfully. Both of their eyes are trained onto the creature just a few trees away from them, its giant grey body could clearly be made out from between the greens and browns of the forest around them.

    The lanky abomination has its flank toward them, its whip thin tail flicking back and forth as its large head hangs heavy between its bony shoulders, presumably sniffing the ground. Tommys breath catches in his throat when the creature's head suddenly snaps up; a high pitched, echoey cry leaves the animal's parted maw. The sound seeps directly into Tommys soul, his hand clenching Wilburs. 

    Wilbur glances back at Tommy taking his sights off of the creature for a moment. Tommy catches Wilburs eyes, fear very prominent in his blue gaze. Wil takes another quick look toward the creature before mouthing the words ‘ back to the road.’ at Tommy. The blonde furrows his brows in confusion. Back to the road? Surely that thing would hear them going through the underbrush? Was Wilbur nuts? 

    Tommys eyes widen when Wilbur shifts in place, yanking his hand from Tommy's. In a swift series of movements, Wilbur's arm is thrown back with a large object in hand- wait when did he get a rock? There's a loud crash as Wil throws the object; The rock tumbles through the foliage, effectively catching the creatures attention. It lets out a rumbling bark, immediately nose diving into the underbrush. Tommy scrambles against the bark of the tree, watching as Wilbur bolts from his spot besides him and quickly disappears past the tree trunk. 

     Tommy scrambles to follow Wilbur, tripping over his feet and the roots of the tree as he goes after Wil. Dread seeps into his stomach when a loud, ear piercing howl erupts from behind him. Tommy has his eyes set onto the back of Wilburs trench coat, focusing on his brother's back as his legs fly a mile a minute beneath him. His heart thunders in his chest, lungs burning as he sucks in quick gasps of air. 

    A crash and screech alerts them both that the Creature had caught on to their scent, the loud pounding of paws on the earth floor was enough to light a fire beneath Tommy's feet. He watches as Wilbur pushes past the barrier of foliage that encases the road they were traveling earlier- a spark of hope ignites in the boy's chest as he closes in on where Wilbur had disappeared. Tommy's mouth opens into a silent cry as he trips over a root or rock, sending his body barreling through the wall of leaves and out onto the road.

    Tommy hits the ground hard, the impact forcefully knocking the wind from his lungs as he tumbles forwards. Tommy lets out a wheeze as he lays helplessly on the road, desperately gasping for air as he claws at the dirt beneath him,  trying to make more distance between him and the creature. 

    A loud caterwaul fills the air, quickly followed  by a near deafening screech. Tommy curls in on himself, covering his head with his arms. The blonde cries out when something solid hits his side as an uncomfortable warmth seeps through his ragged clothes. 

     Tommy peeks open one of his eyes, face morphing into fear as he stares at the battered face of whatever had been chasing them. He screams, desperately scrambling backwards to get away from the thing. It takes him a second to realize that the creature very much wasn't alive at all. The head that had been staring at him was decapitated, head severed just below its jaw from its neck. 

  

     " Damn- that was a close call. " 

     As if the situation could get even more confusing, a voice comes from Tommy's left, spooking the boy significantly. He turns to face whoever had just been talking. Tommy is immediately greeted by a figure looming above him, the sun above perfectly silhouetting the stranger just right so he couldn't make out their face. 

 

     " Wil?" Tommy asks hesitantly.  He quickly realizes that whoever this was- certainly wasn't Wilbur. Tommy immediately gets into a standing position, swaying lightly on his feet from an intense feeling of vertigo- he must have hit his head hard when he fell. 

     The green man takes a step back, holding up his hands in an attempt to appear harmless. The bow and arrow in hand accompanied by the sword on this stranger's hip paints a different story. The incredibly tall height this guy is packing intensities the whole "intimidation" factor- he has to at least be eight feet tall. He was clad in a green camo jumper, a gold chest plate adorns his chest along with golden shoulder pads, his face obscured by what appeared to be a gas mask. 

     " Who- Who the fuck are you?"  Tommy splutters, unsure of what to make of this situation he's found himself in. The stranger lowers his hands, a soft "oh right" escaping him as he tries to find the right words. 

    “ My name is Awesam... But my friends call me Sam. “ 

[captainsjack]

i'm really sorry if you don't wanna talk about this, totally understandable, but i'm still not over steve franks not making shawn latino!!! like you said (or someone else said, don't remember rn) it wouldn't even be that much of a change if you made his mom latina, she barely appears anyway, and even if they didn't want to make some deep dives into shawn's family+heritage (which like, while logically i understand why they wouldn't wanna waste episodes on some minimal characterization, gringos are always on thin fucking ice, so), they could reference it with throw away lines, like they did with jules (maybe some comment passing the holidays down south, or shawn knowing spanish really well and surprising everyone ("wait, you know spanish?" "easier to learn the language than have mom as my personal translator during christmas")), and it's not even like they would need to make some grand research (which would still be nice tbh) bc james roday rodriguez is literally the character. and when 2.13 happened, instead of having whatever that episode was, they could have some interesting moments with shawn being already familiar with the world of telenovelas (and maybe, if you still want him to not know about it and have a bunch of people around him still aware and keeping up with it, there could be a whole thing about how watching telenovelas was a mom&son thing and when she left watching them became painful so shawn stopped altogether and going to the set of one brings back memories, some painful, some nice, but all nostalgic), and the jokes, instead of deriving from this "oh jeez isn't that insane" gringo pov, it could come from this "this is very much insane but i understand it deeply and love its insane-ness" latino pov. anyway idk!!!!!!!!!!! i'm still bummed out over this and i might just fuck around and watch a million little things to see james play a latino character

you. you get me. this is exactly what i was saying !!

2x13 would’ve been so much better for shawn to be latino and him just smoothly taking the role of a spanish character and speaking spanish like it was no problem. OR they could’ve made it a thing, where he doesn’t know spanish and is kind of sad he isn’t that connected with his heritage and then there’s an arc where he becomes more in tune with it and learns spanish. like that’s what james has said about himself, so it would’ve been cool to have the same arc for shawn.

one thing tho is i love gus’s comments about White Boy (tm) shawn. honestly great. but still would’ve been better to have two main characters of colour instead of just gus. like literally he’s the only poc on the show, except for his fam which is only a few eps. and then he and shawn could’ve like bonded over their heritages or something. like they do mention stuff about gus’s jamaican grandparents, but it would’ve been great to have shawn reciprocate that with his mexican roots or something.

and yeah i don’t really like cybill’s portrayal of shawns mom, she was kinda stiff and idk just cringey. i would’ve loved to have a latina actress instead. also they could’ve cast a latino actor for henry. i love how corbin portrays him though so i don’t know if i would want to give that up lol. but i’m sure there are plenty of latino actors who would’ve given the same or better performance as corbin.

please your hc about shawn & his mom & telenovelas i am crYING pls write this right now !!!!

(disclaimer - tell my white ass if i said something wrong or need to stop talking about this)

[lailarain]

WARNING: SPOILERS FOR DANGANRONPA 3

This is a continuation of this post.

I'm watching Danganronpa 3: The End of Hope's Peak High School Future Arc for the first time.

Episode 6:

Makoto, you fucking genius. Then again, can't Monokuma just make that a new rule if he wants to🤨

LMAO MONACA THINKING SHE WAS CAUGHT🤣🤣🤣

BYAKUYA! I missed u🥰

WAIT WHY THE FUCK IS HE BRITISH ALL OF A SUDDEN💀

Wait Geko Gahara is what now😀

KOMARU AND TOKO YES I MISSED YOUUUU

YES OUR FAVORITE ULTRA DESPAIR LESBIANS ARE BACK AT IT AGAIN😎😎😎😎

HAJIME YES MY NON-SHAPE-KNOWING BRO

Wait....Izuru🤨?

Episode 7:

Monaca, Junko killed HERSELF. Makoto didn't do shit🤨

THE TITLE IS ULTRA DESPAIR GIRLS YEAH BABY

THE WARRIORS OF HOPE ARE ALIVE AND HELPING OUT THE UDGs YES

It's so nostalgic to watch my favorite dynamic duo fight monokumas with the megaphone again🥺🥺🥺

The way she says "neutralizing demonic teddy bears" like it's normal😭

"Unless you like it rough😏"

Okay wtf is up with Toko's voice

Toko's fantasies are WAY more awkward when animated. Whatever they pay Byakuya's VA clearly isn't enough

IS THAT ACTUALLY HOW SHE SEES KOMARU LMAOOOO

BYAKUYA SENSED HER BEING WEIRD LMAOOO

Can Monaca just stfu🙄

HOLY FUCK YES THE LESBIANS ARE HOLDING HANDS I REPEAT THE LESBIANS ARE HOLDING HANDS

"Don't you see? I was HOPEING to defeat you. I R O N Y."

YES NAGITO

"Leave me alone. G O O G L E I T."

Who's gonna tell Monaca that she'll automatically suffocate the moment she breaks the atmosphere?

Istg those two are SO gay for each other

Komaru and Makoto are such wholesome siblings😭

KYOKO BETTER NOT BE THE ONE TO DIE I SWEAR I-

Episode 8:

Wait did he just say the name I think he said😀

I don't even know what to say about this episode title💀

NO MAKOTO SWEETIE IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT😭

Yo why tf does the blonde bitch look like that🤨

NO THAT MOTHER EFFER BETTER GET AWAY FROM KYOKO😤

Did that peach-haired asshole just-

HOLY FUCK POTHEAD GUY NO

POTHEAD GUY KNEW KYOKO AND HER DAD

What the fuck was in that chocolate😀

The bitch killed the love of her life? That's fucked up, man.

Kyoko, we're in a pandemic. Don't lick saliva, he could've had COVID🙄

Kyoko tricked them? Man, what a badass.

Episode 9:

Wait, so if that wasn't an actual exit, does that mean she killed her love for no reason?

The building is underwater? This game keeps on coming up with insane scenarios, I swear

Okay, blonde bitch has officially LOST HIS MARBLES.

Makoto please don't blame yourself🥺🥺🥺

DID THIS BLONDE BITCH JUST-

Wait....SO SHE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TO KILL HIM?

AND HE STILL KISSED HER WTF

Aoi and Makoto's friendship is so cute🥰

Kyoko's gonna die, isn't she?😟

KYOKO NO SHE SACRIFICED HERSELF KNOWING SHE WAS GONNA DIE AGGGGGGGHHHHHHH

BLONDE BITCH SHUT THE FUCK UP HE JUST LOST KYOKO THIS ISN'T ABOUT HOPE

(No joke I am genuinely about to cry now. She better not be dead)

Episode 10:

Awwww I remember this is when she rescued him🥺

Kyoko really is with Atua now😔😇

"She died protecting me from myself" that line HURT, man

Awww poor Makoto is crying🥺🥺

Blonde bitch looking like he be POSSESSED or some shit

Wait what's that on Kyoko's body

how DARE this blonde ass motherfucker make Makoto bleed. Breathing the same oxygen as him was rude enough🙄

Bullying a girl Makoto? Not cool, Hajime Blonde Bitch

IT HIT HIM IN THE BACK OF THE NECK LMAOOO

Did he.....is Makoto....

Ohhhh He's keeping Makoto alive because he'll be trapped. For a second, I thought this was a redemption arc lol😂

Istg this guy is SO aggressive for no reason🙄✋

THE FACT THAT MAKOTO ISN'T ATTACKING YOU AND TRYING TO TALK IT OUT WHILE YOU BEAT HIM UP IS LITERAL PROOF THAT HE IS ON THE SIDE OF HOPE YOU FUCKING DUMBASS🤦‍♀️

WAIT SO EVERYBODY IS AN ATTACKER!?!?

Okay that's it this blonde bitch and me bouta throw hands for punching Naegi👊

Okay I know this scene is sentimental and all but how the fuck is Naegi still standing😀

Okay I wasn't expecting blonde bitch to cry this is actually pretty sad

WAIT SO WHO'S THE ATTACKER?!?!?

Episode 11:

I was wondering how they reacted to the outside world so this is cool

Wait why is ponytail girl smiling evilly😀

Suicide? Idk sounds unlikely to me🤔

Makoto is such a marder it's actually insane

MAKOTO PLEASE DON'T DIE PLEASE DON'T DIE PLEASE DON'T DIE PLEASE DON'T DIE PLEASE DON'T DIE PLEASE DON'T DIE PLEASE DON'T DIE

Okay who in the literal fuck is the attacker tho

What the fuck is that video and where is Makoto I'm so confused rn

ARE THOSE THE VICTIMS?!?!?

WAIT WHAT'S HAPPENING TO MAKOTO WAS HE TRIGGERED WHAT'S GOING ON

NAEGI HOLY FUCK DON'T DO IT

WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIS EYES HE LOOKS LIKE NAGITO WHEN HE'S RANTING ABOUT HOPE WHAT THE FUCK

BUFF GUY IS ALIVE HOLY SHITBALLS

WAIT SO IT REALLY WAS SUICIDE?!?!?

NO BUFF DUDE DON'T GIVE IN TO DESPAIR STAY ALIVE

YES BUFF DUDE STAY ALIVE AND SAVE THEM DONT DIE

YES BLONDE BITCH GO SAFE YOUR BRO AND TELL HIM HOW YOU FEEL

NOOOOOOOOOO BUFF BROOOOOOOO

Wait IS TENGAN ALIVE?!?!?!?

(sorry about all the capitals)

Episode 12:

FINAL EPISODE BABY LET'S GO

Wait so is the video that forced the reserve course students to commit suicide and the one that made Makoto go batshit crazy one in the same?

Heh heh spiral eyes go brrr

Shy guy why are you freaking out what did you do

"You need to know the truth. I've liked anime for as long as I can remember" wow what a shock that the ultimate animator likes animation😀

"You're the exception to the rule and you damn well know it" damn shy guy

wait shy guy what are you doing

SHY GUY NO-

WAIT HE COULDN'T USE HIS TALENT

Did he just say eliminate😀

Shy guy what in the ever-loving fuck are you doing

BLONDE BITCH YES

Okay this is such an elaborate plot twist wtf

AWWW BLONDE BITCH🥺🥺🥺🥺

ASAHINA NO

SHY GUY DON'T YOU DARE PRESS YES

Thank god there's a timer😅

TOKO KOMARU NOOOOOO

WAIT MONACA TOO? SHE'S ALIVE!?!?!?!?

This isn't looking too good for Makoto and Blonde Bitch

WAIT JUNKO IS ALIVE?!?!?!?!?!

JUNKO CALLED OLD GUY OLD AND CRUSTY LMAOOO

Why do I like Junko so much

"Get over it, slut. We're dead😋"

WAIT THAT'S IT!??!?! IT'S OVER?!?!? WHAT HAPPENED?

Am I supposed to watch Despair Arc Now?

Okay I think it's over.

Next, it's time for the only reason I decided to watch the anime: to watch the despair arc for more NAGITO.

[eat0crow]

Cliche but can I request flower shop owner Marinette with gang boi Jason?

Dear sweet Anon, you have no idea how weak I am for cliche tropes. I took some liberties here seeing as Red Hood is already a sorta gang leader and just used that! I hope you like my rambly headcanons! I had so many ideas for this au that I really had to try to hold back.

Ground Zero

1) There’s a flower shop right on the edge of Jason’s territory that’s essentially become an urban legend.

No one is actually sure how exactly it’s still standing, it borders two rival gangs, Red Robin’s usual patrol route, and Jason’s terf. There have been at least three gang wars raging on the same street, yet still Miraculous stands as the one neutral spot in all of Gotham. It’s a cute shop, don’t get Jason wrong, but the only miraculous thing about it is that no one has even tried to claim it.

He brings it up once, the keyword once. Because the shop has stood as neutral ground for at least a century, and no one wants to be the one to break that streak. The shop is also cursed apparently, or at least protected by some malevolent force. The building lost a shingle once in the ’80s to a member of the False Facers, and the very next day saw Gotham PD hauling in at least two-thirds of the Black Mask’s operation.

Which is probably exaggerated, right? None of the minor drug lords under Jason want to get into it. The Black Mask doesn’t want to get into it. (He clams up the moment Jason tells him the shop re-opened, apparently, it had closed a year after the shingle incident)

Miraculous, as well as the parking lot it sits on, is the ground zero of Gotham. No crime goes into the lot, no crime goes out. The pots are never tipped over, no one tries to steal even a single rose from the display. No one touches the cute building, even if it’s painted an obnoxious pastel pink that stands out like a sore thumb in the Gotham night. At least, as far as everyone knows—Jason is still kinda skeptical about that. Really, it’s the perfect set up for a smuggling ring.

Tim is there sometimes as Red Robin. All the time really, at least twice a week. Jason has caught him more than once staked out with a pair of binoculars in the windows. A couple of times he even catches him helping the clerk repot plants. Which, yeah, Jason’s met Tim a time or two, he doesn't make a habit of sticking around his family, but the kid never came off as the gardening type.

It’s especially funny though, to see the pictures of Red Robin in a pink apron behind the counter trending on twitter.

He’s tried to go in a handful of times, to offer the owner his protection and whatnot. But each time he tries he forgets what he’s doing before he even turns the handle. Whoever runs this place must have the best luck in the world because this shit has been happening since it was built.

You’re a wayward gang member attempting to talk to the owner, you end up forgetting what you’re doing mid-action, and only start to remember five days later. The building is damaged, so is whatever scheme you’ve been planning. Actually in the shop when you decide to talk business, nope, it’s time for the most inconvenient phone call of your life.

“Why Dick, did you have to call me? I was so close.”

“Jason, are you crying?”

“I finally made it into the door. I’ve been trying for months to get in. But no, your ass gets stuck in your suit, and suddenly it’s time to call Jason. Nope, lose my number.”

2) Apparently everyone, including the fucking demon spawn, has been to Miraculous.

They all get kind of quiet when he brings it up though, Alfred actually leaves the room. Jason may have issues with Bruce, and Dick, and Tim, and don’t even get him started on Damian, but Alfred’s always been the neutral party for them. He’s always been the one they go to, no matter what. Upsetting Alfred is a capital offense. Jason feels...shitty about it.

“Alfred used to go, and get a bouquet there every weak after you died,” Dick tells him, folding his hands together, and settling in. Tim looks uneasy, and far more awkward than usual—which is saying something. “He’d get some white lilies to put on your grave. I went with him a few times, but he hasn’t been back since. I think the shop reminds him of it. When you were...you know.”

“Oh.” Jason really feels like an asshole.

“Yeah, I can’t say I’ve been back either.” Dick rubs the back of his neck like he’s admitting to something secret. “It used to be on my patrol route, back when I was first Robin. It always used to creep me out so I'd avoid it.”

“Really, Grayson,” Damian says with the same air of condescending superiority he always has.

“Hey, back in those days it was an abandoned building. The one that the witch owned! I don’t know about you, but I don’t fuck with witches. No thank you! I like my limbs.”

Jason might actually remember something like that, it’s hard. Like all the memories from before are hard, but he thinks back to being a kid. To growing up in a scummy neighborhood, and hearing people talk about the witching house that no one was allowed near. The one spot Squatters and Junkies, no matter how desperate, wouldn’t step foot in.

“It’s not all that bad,” Tim says. “My mom remembered when it was open the first time around. Mr. Fu was really nice, he used to let her play in the pots.”

“That aside,” Dick says fixing Jason with a half-crazed look. “It re-opened like a month after you died, so yeah, I went there with Alfred a lot. Like once a month a lot. The shop has this thing. You go in, and you’re instantly wrapped up in this nostalgic warm-fuzzy-reliving-my-childhood feeling. It’s weird.”

Tim stares. “I think that’s a you problem. I go in all the time, and yeah, the shop has a nice vibe, but it’s more like a you’re-safe-here thing.”

“You’re both, as usual, utterly wrong.” Damian sniffs. “If anything, the shop feels like coming home.”

The entire table turns to stare at him with wide unbelieving eye’s. Jason can hardly believe his ears...did Damian really just say something like that. The shocked look on even Dick’s face goes a long way in saying just how much no one can believe something so well adjusted came out of the demon spawn’s mouth.

Damian’s blush is priceless, his stutter—yes it’s a stutter no matter how much he denies it—is even better. “I mean to say. It feels familiar. The shop, you walk in, even for the first time, and you feel like you’ve walked through the door hundreds of times.”

Which, huh, because. “I always thought it felt like a warning. You step one foot onto the lot, and it feels like the walls themselves are daring you to start shit.”

3) Despite the hype that's built up around Jason going in, his first visit—No, Marinette that one didn’t count I literally just turned the door handle—is really anticlimactic.

It works like this, Roy asks him to pick up flowers, because Valentine's Day is today, and Kori will know what he's doing the second he tries to make up some lame excuse. Jason will never know how the man could ever be such a bad liar. As far as Kori knows, Jason is doing a typical supply run. Which, he is doing a supply run, even if the thought of cheesy romantic comedy cliches makes him sick.

All the same, Jason takes his role as best bro seriously, even though he has doubts about being able to complete this task. If his previous 52 failures are anything to go by, Miraculous hates him. There are only so many times a man can get maimed before he comes to the conclusion that the building itself has it out for him.

The hornets were what sold him. Not the bees, the hornets.

So with the air of a man who has just been sent out to war, Jason puts on this thickest jacket, his gloves, leaves his phone behind—even if attempt 34 taught him that was a really stupid idea—and braces himself to step inside. Maybe it’s because this is the first time Jason has gone into the flower shop for actual flowers. Maybe his luck is improving. Maybe...maybe the universe is setting him up for something even worse. Either way, it’s the first time the hair on the back of his neck doesn’t stand up the moment his foot hits the floor.

The girl at the counter is cute, just around his age with the bluest eyes he’s ever seen. That says something, because Jason has met Superman. That man's eyes are literally otherworldly. But Marinette’s, Jason has a suspicion this is the Mari Tim is always talking about, her eyes look like they’re glowing.

Jason realizes he’s been standing in the doorway staring, way too hard, when Marinette, that’s what her name tags says, clears her throat. With an air of confidence—Jason is a firm believer in the inherent power of bull shitting your way to success—he walks up to the counter.

“I’m looking for a bouquet,” Her stare is piercing and Jason swears it burns all the way down to his soul. “For Valentine's day. One with roses, and all that shit.”

Marinette huffs, and points to a depressingly empty display shelf. “You, and just about everyone else. Did you place an order?”

“Did I place an..” Jason trails off under his breath. “Please tell me you have something with the name Roy Harper in your registry.”

Marinette takes a moment to glance down, to ruffle through her papers. “I’m sorry, I only have one left, and its got the last name Grayson on it.”

Jason sees his life flash devastatingly fast across his eyes. It ends with him being torn to shreds by one of Roy’s homemade bombs when he comes back empty-handed. There won’t even be enough of him left to throw in a Lazarus pit. Nope, he’ll be sidewalk chalk.

So really he feels no guilt in fleshing his most charming smile, the one that always makes the old ladies coo, and saying. “Perfect, I’m here to pick that one up.”

Marinette takes one look at him draped over the counter, and bursts out laughing. Today is not a good day for Jason’s ego. “I thought you were Roy Harper.”

“No, I’m Dick Grayson.” The words are bitter in his mouth. “But the bouquet is for my friend, and I wasn’t sure what name he put it under.”

“Oh,” Marinette says, a smirk playing across her lips. “You think I was born yesterday. Sorry hon, but you’re not an alternative pick up, and I'll need to see some ID.”

“You expect me to show ID for flowers?..... Really?”

“Yes, I expect you to show ID when you’ve given me two different names, and those flowers are worth over a hundred dollars,” Marinette bites back. “Sorry, but that’s been paid in full, and I’m not going to lose a customer.”

“Okay,” Jason says, taking two crisp bills out of his wallet. It hurts because Roy gave him a twenty, and Jason will always be a cheap bastard at heart. Nevertheless, he likes Kori, she deserves this, even if Roy, who will be begging for mercy later, does not. He has to very consciously remove his hand after sliding them over. The urge to snatch them back is strong. “Listen, I really need that fucking bouquet. I am prepared to pay you double the price Grayson paid.”

Marinette actually looks offended. “Just because everyone else in this city is okay with being bribed doesn’t mean I am. You can keep your money.”

“Everyone has a price.” Jason gives her a look. “Name it.”

“Well, I don’t,” Marinette snaps, reaching down for her phone. “You can take your money, and fuck off. Before I get Red Robin over here to flush you out.”

“And here I was, thinking this was neutral territory.”

“It is.” Marinette stiffens. “This place isn’t under Red Robin’s protection, but he’s still my friend. I won’t hesitate to get him over here.”

“How about this then. The bouquet for protection. I can get Red Hood to claim this place.”

“What part of neutral didn’t you get?” Marinette asks, leaning over the counter and getting into his space. From here, just inches apart, her eyes are iridescent. Blue light toxically dripping out of a cracked glow stick. “Miraculous doesn’t get involved in your shit. You all want to wage war on each other? You want to pedal drugs? You want to smuggle shit? That’s cool, but you keep that away from my fucking shop. Miraculous doesn't get involved, you can all kill each other outside.”

She’s kind of terrifying up close. If Jason wasn’t convinced she would disembowel him, he’d be tempted to kiss her. Consent, however, is sexy as fuck.

Jason knows when he’s fighting a losing battle. “Is there any way. Anyway in hell, that I can get my hands on those fucking flowers?”

“Yeah,” Marinette says sitting back down. “You can call Grayson, and have him give them to you. But aside from that, I’ve seen a lot of shit. Sorry buddy, but you can’t buy me or scare me into anything.”

“I’ll call the sorry bastard up right now.”

“I’m not giving you his number.”

“I don’t need you to give me his number, I have it right…” Jason trails off, suddenly he remembers leaving his phone behind.

4) Jason is a petty asshole who has learned that the secret to getting into the flower shop is to think flowers.

Listen, Jason had to make do with drugstore flowers, and Roy’s disappointed puppy eyes for a month after being kicked out on his ass. To add insult to injury, Tim tracked him down two days later, as he was mid drug bust, to tell him to stay away from Marinette.

Okay, it’s not like he hadn’t already been planning to go back, frankly, the shop is a strategic masterpiece. Half of its cred as an urban legend comes from the fact that whoever claimed it would be given an instant power-up. It’s the One Ring to rule them all. Jason has to go back, and convince Marinette that the Red Hood is the one to ally with. He has to.

So yeah he’s going to go back anyway, but now he really wants to. Because Tim, his replacement, dared him. Maybe a bigger person would back down, what with all the external forces building up around the shop, the legend, the neutrality, the many failed attempts, Tim somehow having a vested interest…well, Jason has never been the bigger person.

Not by a long shot.

The first three times he attempts to return, Marinette meets him at the door. She’s quick about flipping the sign from open to closed. Jason, the first time, had tried turning the handle, whatever magic makes that building hate him, makes it lock up the second the sign changes. It’s not Marinette, Jason watched her. Her hands never touched the lock.

The first person he complains to is Roy, of course, who actually gives him the idea. Roy is a genius sometimes. So attempt four ends with him buying a single sunflower. It’s gaudy as all hell, and also the first thing his hand touched after he spent an hour trying to get Marinette’s attention.

She apparently will only talk to him in the brief thirty seconds she spends cashing him out. Which, yeah, that’s fair.

And so it begins. Every day except Tuesday, the only day the shop is closed, Jason goes in, buys a single sunflower, and talks up the Red Hood.

Even if Miraculous never comes into his fold, this will all have been worth it just to have seen the look on Tim’s face the first time he comes in just as Jason's buying his daily flower.

There’s a small hole burned into his wallet, but Kori loves sunflowers.

Jason’s not the only regular, but he’s the most frequent, by the end of his fourth month he knows all the other regular’s sob stories, and everyone and their mother thinks he's sweet on Marinette. That may be the kind of true by this point. He’s worn her down to where she will talk to him as he browses. Even if she also complains that, “It’s pointless. I already have your sunflower set aside.”

Month six marks a distinct turning point in their relationship. He was upgraded from General-Creep to Recurring-Menace to Okay-I-Guess-We’re-Sorta-Friends-Now a while ago. Month six is the month he gains the title of Permanent-Fixture. It’s marked by him walking in and Marinette forcing an apron on him.

“I told Red Robin when he started coming by, that if he was going to hang around than he needed a reason to. So if you want to hang in Miraculous you’re going to work in Miraculous.”

“Unpaid labor is illegal.”

“No, it’s not. It’s just called volunteering.”

5) Getting together actually takes a while.

Jason is relentless when it comes to his recruitment pitches, but he has standards for fuck's sake. No woman actually enjoys it when men flirt with them on the clock. There’s a whole power imbalance thing that makes him sick to his stomach.

Sure Marinette can take care of herself. She’s a force of nature. Jason had offered to help carry potting soil for her once. One time. That was before he saw her lift the thirty pound bag over her shoulder like an empty sack of rice. Marinette can take care of herself, she just won’t.

Jason has seen more than one scummy fuck harass her. She gets quiet….she loses her confidence, and it’s just so wrong to see a person as strong as Marinette look small. He’s not sure what about blatant flirting and bad pick up lines bothers her so much but—Marinette can never know, and they’ll never tell her that the Red Hood tracked each one of them down. Threats are beautiful things. They just make it all come together.

He is a gentleman, even after he starts working with her. While co-workers flirting with each other isn’t as bad, it’s still kind of awful. The problem is that Marinette is always working, she never leaves Miraculous. Even on her off days.

So Jason, never finds the right time to ask her out himself. All the regulars already think they’re dating. His brothers think they’re dating. Alfred, Alfred thinks they’re dating after walking into the shop one time since Jason’s resurrection. He’s thankful his brothers gave him a heads up—not. Alfred walks in to find him behind the counter with a fluffy pink apron on, even his refined British manners are tested. Jason just knows he’s laughing. He knows.

It happens like this, Jason teams up with Batman and Co. to help with a standard smuggling ring. Nothing difficult, the only reason it should have required all of them was because of the shipment size. It should have been easy. It had been easy.

That is until the Joker shows up, Jason freezes, and takes a bullet straight to the stomach.

Stomachs bleed...a lot.

He doesn’t remember much of what happened after that. Stomachs also hurt a lot, and it’s hard to think coherently when you’re in excruciating pain. Jason, blacked out shortly after Dick started putting pressure on the wound. For future reference, while stopping the bleeding might be important, it hurts like fucking hell.

Marinette is the first thing he sees when he opens his eyes. She’s hunched over herself in the plastic chair next to his bed. Someone, probably Dick or Alfred, draped a blanket over her. She looks vastly out of place, like the room itself is sucking the life out of her. The lighting makes her skin almost translucent.

The second thing he sees is the sunflowers covering every inch of the hospital room. There must have been a couple dozen, at least. It was probably closer to a hundred if not more. Despite the pain that comes with laughing, Jason can’t help himself.

His laughter alerts the nurse, who alerts his family. Apparently, they’ve all been camping out in the waiting room. Much comfier couches there. His family wakes Marinette, who turns her piercingly otherworldly eyes on him.

Marinette stays quiet through all his family’s fussing. She stays quiet even after that. All she does is stare. Jason doesn’t think she’s actually seeing him.

“I didn’t think I missed this many days,” Jason jokes, gesturing to the multitude of flowers wrapped around every available surface.

“No, you didn’t.” Marinette’s answer is curt. She’s distracted, Jason really wishes he knew what she was seeing.

“Not a fan of Hospitals?” Jason tries.

Marinette blinks. The cloudy look on her face disappearing as she shakes her head. “No, I really can’t stand them.”

“Me either.” Jason feels an intense desire to continue the conversation, if only to keep Marinette from closing up again. “You know, you didn’t have to visit me.”

“I wanted to,” Marinette says. “Your brother called, and told me what happened. I came by just after you were finishing up in surgery.”

“What about the shop?”

Jason has been working at Miraculous—volunteering because Marinette still doesn’t pay him—for months. He’s invested in the place now.

"It can be closed for a few days,” Marinette says, reaching over to take his hand. Jason lets her, he’s always hated hospitals. It's gotten worse since he came back. The comfort is welcome. “This is more important.”

Jason wants to say something, to take his shot, and ask her out. Because she’s just as important to him, but it feels wrong so, he settles with, “You’re a really good friend Marinette.”

He does his best to ignore the way the words choke him.

“I think,” Marinette starts, only to stop herself. There’s a moment of internal debate before she continues, “I think we both know we’re a little more than just friends.”

6) Jason never does claim Miraculous, it remains perfectly neutral, despite having the Bat-Family practically living out of the apartment upstairs.

“Hey, do you think now that we're dating you can convince Tim to come by out of costume?”

Jason blanks. “What?”

“Tim, do you think you can get him to stop dropping by as Red Robin so much. People are starting to think Miraculous has been claimed as part of Batman’s terf.”

Jason does the most logical thing he can think of. He buries his face in his hands, and groans. “Why did you have to figure it out?”

“Was I…not supposed to?”

“No, no you weren’t. How did you?”

“Jason, there’s only one person you hate as much as Tim, and that’s Red Robin. I’ve seen how you look at both of them. No one makes your eyes scream murder as much as he does. Not even Dick.”

“Oh God,” Jason says wiping a hand across his face. “Does that mean—”

“That I know you’re the Red Hood?” Marinette asks, cutting him off. “Hmm, I’ve known that for longer. Probably since you first started coming around consistently. At first, I thought you had like, the biggest boner for the guy, but then you seemed really into me and well, you talked him up way too much to either not have a crush on him or be him so, I connected the dots.”

[mediocrity-at-best]

Family

Y’all see that post that was asking how the dark sides would react once they found out about Virgil ducking out? Yeah. This is in response to that. My own take on what may have happened.

To the person who made the original post, I have no idea who you are. I thought I reblogged the post but I spent a while searching and was unable to find it. If you see this (or anybody else does and can point me in the right direction!) I would be more than willing to give you credit for this idea! Sorry about that.

Edit: Hey, so @1americaninapool, I totally meant to tag you as soon as I saw your comment. Unfortunately, I have the brain capacity of a jellyfish and immediately forgot. This is completely based off their idea. Thank you so much for reading it. I’m really glad you liked it!!

Words: 3,801

Without any further ado, here’s my best idea:

~~~~~

"Hey, Dec-Janus! Janus! How are you doing, Janus Janus bo banus, fee fi fo-"

"I am doing quite well, Patton," he said, smoothly interrupting before Patton could really get going on a song he hadn't heard since childhood. It was still so odd to hear the others using his true name. Only Remus and Virgil had known before, and it's not like Virgil-

Well. It was better not to think about Virgil.

Patton flushed but grinned, less exuberant than normal but Janus was willing to chalk that up to his own presence more than anything else. Patton tried, but the transition period was rough for all of them. Some more than others. "How are you, this lovely day?"

"I'm great!" Patton said immediately, and Janus could taste the lie on his tongue. But before he could contradict that, before he could even decide if it was his place to, Patton's smile took on a more somber note. "Well, maybe not great. I've been feeling kinda nostalgic, getting caught up in old memories." He sat on the window sill and leaned against the pane, watching the rain falling outside.

"What kind of memories? If you don't mind my asking," Janus said. He swept closer and leaned his hip against the table, staring out the window with Patton. The rain was pouring down and every once in a while thunder shook the house. He sometimes wondered why they had weather inside Thomas' mind, but then he would remember that the twins were the two most extra people he knew. Of course they had weather.

"Not the good ones," Patton said quietly. "The scary ones." He didn't look at Janus, and Janus really had no idea where this conversation was going. Scary movies, perhaps? Nightmares that, when Thomas woke up crying, would put himself back to bed, still too scared to even get up? A prank Remus had played on him that had gone too far?

"It's just," he continued, "the rain. It reminds me of Virge. Our little stormcloud."

"Oh, yes," Janus muttered. "Virgil. The absolute scariest thing this side of the mindscape." It startled a giggle out of Patton and Janus was so shocked he almost took a step back. He knew, of course, that Patton tended to throw up walls in the form of false smiles and laughs when he wasn't feeling well to redirect worry. (After all, Janus had been heart wrenchingly aware of each and every one. Not being accepted did not negate his base purpose and need to keep them safe and, yes, even happy. Much like Virgil, he would take the hate to keep the family he did and didn't have safe.) But what he had not expected was the genuine laugh he let out when he had already admitted to being less than great.

“He can be scary when he tries,” Patton said, smiling, and yes, that tasted sweet. Truth. He truly believed that Virgil could be scary. Good. Janus would hate for Virgil’s favorite pastime to become unavailable to him. “But that’s kind of misleading, I guess. I wasn’t thinking about how scary Virgil can be. I was thinking about how scary it was when he ducked out.”

Janus felt the room fall into slow motion. The words weren’t making sense and Patton’s mouth was moving but he could hardly hear the sounds coming out. He what? When did he-?

“We could have tried harder. We should have tried harder. But none of us realized-or, no, we refused to realize how important Virgil was. How much we need him around. I just get so caught up in what could’ve happened if we hadn’t gotten him back. How hurt we could have been. How hurt Virge could have been. And I-I feel so bad-” Patton turned to face Janus and there were tears running down his face. He barreled into Janus and on instinct he wrapped his arms around Patton and patted his back. After a minute, he summoned Logan.

“What do you-”

“Could you-help?” Janus muttered, motioning at Patton with one hand. Logan saw his tear covered face and bristled, but immediately stepped forward, placing a hand on Patton’s shoulder. Janus moved away without even noticing the glare tossed his way and, once he saw that Logan had it under control, sunk out.

He didn’t know where he was going, only that he needed a second to process. He needed to think about what had happened, figure out when Virgil had done that, why he had done something so incredibly stupid, why he hadn’t come to Janus and Remus instead. Why why why-

“Jayjay?” Remus said, softly wrapping an arm around Janus’ waist. From the tone of his voice, Janus knew that it wasn’t the first time he’d said his name. “You okay?” He pulled Janus to his bed and sat them both down. “Do I need to kill someone for you? I will.”

“I-” Janus said, but his voice was choked and the words cut off. Remus looked even more worried at that.

“Hey,” he said and he was being so gentle. “Do you want a severed head? I have some. Or I can get your snakes. What’s wrong?”

“It’s Virgil, he-” Janus choked on the words again and then buried his face in his hands. He was shaking. He was shaking and blurring and he couldn’t focus, couldn’t think past the thought of Virgil leaving. He tried to leave them and Janus hadn’t-he hadn’t even known, what kind of person did that make him? How could he have not known when Virgil left, when he tried to do that to himself? Why would Virgil do something like that? He knew better, he knew people cared, he knew he mattered. All three of them had made damn sure that they wouldn’t ever be alone, even if they were mad at each other, so why would he do that?

Slowly, Janus came back to himself. “C’mon, Snakey Jay, talk to me,” Remus said. He was kneeling in front of Janus, hands on his legs but not crowding his space. “Is everything alright? Is Virgil? Did he get hurt? Does he still have all of his limbs? Have they fallen off? Did one of the others stab him? Did crows eat his eyes? Is he alive? Did he get run over?”

“No, no,” Janus said. Remus’ frantically spoken thoughts came to a screeching halt to stare at Janus. “He’s fine, it’s okay.” Remus practically collapsed in on himself. Janus reached out and wrapped his arms around him, pulling them both back onto the bed. “Sorry,” he said quietly. “I didn’t mean to scare you. I just-”

“What happened, Lord of the Lies? You’re usually much more put together than this.” Remus waved a hand at Janus’ clothes, and he only then realized that he hadn’t even noticed when Remus snapped him into different clothes. He was wearing his comfort clothes now: soft sweats and one of Remus’ old t-shirts and the black jacket that Virgil-

That Virgil-

“Virgil tried to duck out,” Janus said. Remus went totally still beside him. “I don’t know when. I think it had to have been a while ago, but he did. He tried to leave and I don’t know why or when or anything.” He turned to stare at Remus. “I didn’t even know. How didn’t we know?”

“He tried to leave?” he asked. Janus nodded miserably. “He just tried to-to leave us? He didn’t even bother saying goodbye? Who the fuck gave him the right? Who the fuck-”

“Remus-”

“-told him he could just do that? I am going to kick his ass, and when I’m done I’m never letting go of him again, that fucking asshole.” Remus launched himself off his bed and conjured his morningstar to hand.

“Don’t you think the morningstar is a little overkill?” Janus asked.

“Oh, it’s going to be,” Remus said and sank out before Janus could convince him to reconsider. With a sigh, Janus followed him to Virgil’s room a second later.

The cacophony of noise that met his ears when he rose up was overwhelming. The morningstar was sunk into the wall, a hairsbreadth from Virgil’s Jack and Sally posters and there were a couple of shattered dishes on the ground. Remus was waving his hands around like a maniac, spouting off words so repulsive Janus was sure Virgil had no idea what he was talking about. Sighing again, Janus waved a hand and Remus’ slapped over his own mouth. They could both still definitely hear the muffled curses Remus was incessantly shouting.

“What the frick is the matter with you?” Virgil shouted. “What the hell?”

“I agree,” Janus said. “What the hell?” He stared at Virgil. Virgil stared back.

“You realized I have no clue what you’re talking about, right? You’re ridiculous,” he muttered, and bent down to start collecting bits of the broken plate. Remus snapped the fingers on his free hand and it disappeared. Virgil glared at him.

“I was cleaning that up,” he snapped.

“Usually, when someone does you a favor, the correct response is a thank you,” Janus said.

“Maybe it would be if he hadn’t put his morningstar through my wall!” Virgil shouted. Janus snapped his own fingers and the wall self corrected back to the proper structure. The morningstar, for all that he thought it was unnecessary, remained in the room, leaning against the dresser.

“If I remove your hand, will you allow us to have a civil conversation?” he asked Remus. Remus began spouting more muffled nonsense from behind his hand. Janus sighed, but waved a hand so that Remus could speak again.

“You dumbass fucking asshole!” he screamed and tackled Virgil. Those were the tamest words to come out of his mouth since Janus had shown up, but from the look on Virgil’s face they were still plenty effective. The pair landed on the bed and wrestled around for a moment. Virgil screamed at Remus to get off of him and Remus kept calling him names. Janus watched it all with the exasperation generally reserved for parents with unruly children only a couple of years apart in age. He held his face in his hands, well aware that nothing that was getting solved, and waited.

Eventually, finally, Remus brought out his tentacles and wrapped around Virgil so securely that Virgil was incapable of removing him.

“Fuck off!” He pulled at a tentacle, but another immediately replaced it and wrapped around him even tighter.

“Fuck you!” Remus said. “Fuck me! Fuck us all, but I’m not moving!”

“What is this about?” Virgil snapped.

“I don’t know, Virgil. Why don’t you tell me,” Janus said. “What on earth could this be about?”

“If I knew, I wouldn’t be asking!”

“How are you doing, Virgil?” Janus asked instead of answering.

“I was fine until you burst into my room uninvited!”

“No urge to do anything ill-advised, then? Say, ducking out?”

Suddenly, as suddenly as they had appeared in his room, all of the fight went out of Virgil. He stopped trying to peel Remus’ tentacles off and stared off at one of his walls, not moving.

“Oh. Y’all heard about that?”

“Heard about that!” Remus echoed in a shrill, shrieky voice.

“Yes, Virgil, we heard about that. We have questions.”

“And demands,” Remus added. Janus was sorely tempted to silence Remus again, but he did have a point, and he did have just as much right as Janus did to be upset.

“You can watch the videos, then,” Virgil said. “I’m sure there will be more than enough information there to answer your questions. Now get out of my room.”

“The videos?” Janus said quietly, and Virgil winced so harshly Remus shuddered with him. “There are videos?”

“Forget I said that.” Virgil stood up from his bed and faced Janus. “I’m serious. Get out of my room. I don’t have the energy to deal with you two tonight.”

“Thomas put videos on YouTube of you trying to-”

“I said!” Virgil interrupted Remus, “Forget about it. And leave.”

“Like you tried to?” Remus said.

“Virgil,” Janus said, and he put the videos in the back of his mind. He’d watch them later, see what answers they could afford them, and then he’d have a serious conversation with the others about what kind of content was acceptable to put out. Who exactly was acceptable to exploit and what exactly would happen if those lines were ever crossed again. “You know what happens to a side when they stop fulfilling their function.”

“No crap,” he said.

“And yet you willing not only stopped fulfilling your function, but entirely took yourself out of the equation.” Janus stared at him. Virgil, with Remus still hanging from his body, stared back. Janus broke first. “Why would you do something like that?”

Janus wished he didn’t sound half as desperate as he did. He wished he could lie and believe himself when he said his voice didn’t break. Janus didn’t want to have this conversation, he didn’t want to have not known about what happened, he didn’t want to have to think about what might’ve happened. He didn’t want to think about Virgil doing what he did, and he wanted to be able to say Virgil would never in a million years so much as think about doing something like that and have it taste like candy in his mouth.

He thought the words, and he faintly tasted copper. He wasn’t sure he could believe them.

“Does it matter?” Virgil said. “It was two years ago. I’m over it. It’s in the past now.”

“It matters to me!” Janus yelled. Virgil took a step back, eyes getting bigger. He could feel the way the eye shadow was beginning to over take his face and he knew that Remus, as sensitive as he was to the way others felt normally, must be just as bad, if not worse off than him. It was a struggle to make himself care, though; to think anything past Virgil, leaving; Virgil, being gone; Virgil, not coming to him.

“I care about you,” Janus snapped. “Remus cares about you. We love you and we are your family whether you want us or not. We are with you no matter what.” He forced himself to take a breath, force the eye shadow and anxiety to recede. It was a learned skill, and it did not come easily. “You may have left, but that has never meant that we didn’t care about you.”

“Left?” Virgil said. “Don’t act like one day I just decided to move out. This wasn’t my choice. You kicked me out!”

“Record scratch?” Remus suggested, ripping his head off his body with his tentacles to look back and forth between them. Normally, Janus would have laughed. Now, there wasn’t a bit of joy in his body.

“I did no such thing,” Janus said. “You left in the middle of the night. We woke up and you were gone. We thought you’d-you’d ducked out. When we found out you had just moved…” He stopped, swallowing.

“We thought you were dead, Scarebear,” Remus muttered. “We were just relieved that you weren’t, even if it meant you hated us and moved away.” He put his head back on his body and nuzzled into Virgil.

“I didn’t want to leave,” Virgil said. His voice sounded choked. “I woke up on the other side surrounded by people who didn’t want me around and I thought you had kicked me out. That everybody hated me.”

“Is that why you ducked out?” Janus asked softly. There was a lump in his throat and it took every bit of his will to keep his voice from shaking or cracking.

Virgil hesitated, and the silence went on for an eternity. Janus thought he wouldn’t believe them, wouldn’t talk to them, would kick them out and never let them back in. Finally, he said, “I thought my family hated me and had gotten rid of me. The people I lived with hated me and thought I was only holding Thomas back and...and I started to believe them. So, yeah, I decided I’d just remove myself from the equation entirely. At the time, it seemed like the best answer. Nobody who didn’t want me around would have to be around me, I wouldn’t have to be constantly reminded that I was unwanted, and Thomas could finally start...enjoying his life, without me there to bring everything down.”

“Virgil,” Janus said, and that time his voice nearly did go out. He blinked furiously to keep the tears in his eyes from escaping. If he started crying now, he wouldn’t stop.

“That’s not true, Scarebear,” Remus said. A huff of air flew from Virgil’s mouth as Remus hugged him even tighter. “You always made my creations even better. Without your input, I wouldn’t have made half of the things I did. They would have been so much worse. And you made sure they worked out. You saved my life more times than I can count.”

“You have always called me on my bullshit when I needed you to,” Janus added, breathing slowly. “But you let me get away with it when I needed to, too. You have been innumerably helpful and we never wanted you to leave. We never wanted to lose you, for a minute or eternity.”

“And I always keep my promises. Even if we had kicked you out, I promised I’d always be there to help you. You should have come to me.” Remus’ voice was barely audible to Janus, muffled by Virgil’s hoodie. His new hoodie, in colors that suited him so much better than plain black ever did. He’d made himself a new home, despite it all. And there might not be room for Janus and Remus in it.

He’d have to learn to live with that, if it’s what Virgil wanted. No matter how much it hurt.

“Yeah, well, hindsight’s 20/20 and all that.” Virgil rolled his eyes and scrubbed at them, smearing eyeshadow over his face like coal dust. “God, you guys are the worst. Busting into my room unannounced just to make me break dishes and cry. Fuck this.”

“I suppose there’s nothing to be done for the dishes,” Janus said. He tried for smooth and fell devastatingly short. He took another shuddering breath and added, just in case Virgil forgot and needed to be reminded, “We love you, Virgil. I love you. So much.”

“I love you forever.” Remus shifted around again and Virgil almost lost his balance. “And the dragon-witches in my realm have missed you. You owe them a visit.”

“It’s best not to push our luck, Remus. Virgil will visit if he wants to, but he may need some time to process.” Janus shoved a piece of hair out of his face. He gave Virgil a strained smile. He didn’t know what he’d do if Virgil still wanted nothing to do with them. If he rejected this offer. “Our door is always open to you. It always has been. You are welcome with us anytime.”

“Fucking assholes,” Virgil said, and a crack Janus could feel went straight through his heart. Virgil threw a hand out to him, and Janus tried to prepare himself for getting cast out.

But how could you prepare yourself for something like that?

“Get over here, Jay.” One of Remus’ tentacles wrapped around his waist and jerked him forward before he could react. Virgil’s arm wrapped around his back and Remus’ tentacles held him there tightly and, in the embrace of the two people whom Janus treasured most in the world (and one of which he thought he’d never get to hug again) he couldn’t stop the tears. A dam broke open and it felt so good to finally have them all back, together, the way they had always belonged.

A wet spot soaked through the shirt he was wearing, and Janus realized he was far from the only one crying.

“Salty,” Remus said, licking the tears off of Virgil’s face. He reared back, letting out a noise somewhere between outrage and amusement, and they all toppled onto the bed. Janus snorted on a laugh as the position shifted. He ended up with Virgil more or less on his chest, and Remus still hanging onto him like a possessed koala.

“It’s getting rather late,” he muttered. “Should we-”

“You’re already in your pajamas,” Virgil cut him off. “And it’s a hell of a lot of effort to move. Just stay here.” He yawned and his eyes shut. Janus’ heart warmed at the sight.

“Okay,” he said. “But only because it takes so much effort to get up.”

“Obviously,” Virgil agreed, and both of the lies tasted like copper on his tongue. He’d never been quite so happy about tasting something so bitter.

Janus lay in the quiet, experiencing it for everything it was worth. Remus’ fingernails scraped lightly at the comforter and Virgil was absently humming a song that he couldn’t place. Janus wondered what music he’d gotten into since they’d stopped talking. He wondered if there was a whole new genre of music that he wouldn’t understand a single reference to. He wondered if Virgil still had playlists on his phone for both of them, and if he’d made some for the other sides, too. He wondered if he had kept all of the stuff he and Remus had given him. He wondered if they’d get to do it all again, now. (He wondered why Virgil’s room had moved. He wondered what the catalyst for all of this had been.)

But some questions were better left for tomorrow, and people that weren’t half asleep.

“I, uh,” Virgil murmured, and they both shifted to hear him better. “I-you guys-you’re good, you know. I never-”

“You love us, too,” Janus said.

“Yeah, that. Never stopped. Couldn’t have. Just...we’re always for each other, yeah?”

“It’s what families do,” Janus said. The taste of sugar and candy that flooded his mouth at Virgil's admission was the sweetest thing he'd ever tasted, and it was all he could do to not laugh giddily and maybe cry again.

“We never stopped loving you either, Spider.” Remus cradled his face with a tentacle.

“Slime machine,” Virgil said fondly. Remus cawed out a laugh.

“Only for you. You get the juiciest stuff.”

“Shut up,” Virgil groaned, but Janus could see the unguarded smile on his face. There was a warmth blossoming in his chest that he hadn’t felt in years. Happier than he ever thought he’d be again Janus let himself bask in their benign bickering. It was good. It was great. And if he was lucky, Janus would have a lot more where this came from.