#( he would not be able to forgive himself )

[destinysbounty]

One thing that kinda chaps me about how the Ice Emperor is typically characterized by a lot of the fandom is that if you really pay attention to how he behaves in the Ice Chapter, he isn't the aggressive, confrontational villain he's often made out to be. In s11, most scenes we see of the Ice Emperor actually depict him as a very passive and sedate character, preferring to rest on his throne and contemplate rather than taking action. He never acts unless Vex implores him to do so, and even then he usually defaults to the less ruthless choice until Vex cajoles him into opting for something more brutal. The first time we see the IE defy Vex in any capacity is when he chooses to spare Lloyd rather than killing him instantly. Judging by Vex's surprise at this, and IE's unabashed trust in his advisor, I would hazard to guess this is the first time Zane has ever pushed back against one of Vex's suggestions.

This is not to say the Ice Emperor is without cruelty or brutality. He is still a very menacing presence in his own right, and he absolutely has gallons of blood on his hands. That cannot be understated. But on his own, without a wormtongue whispering in his ear, I personally think the Ice Emperor would have been...well, not necessarily a kind person, but significantly less ruthless. He's a passive and dare I say tired person who prefers to sit on his throne and wait for orders rather than taking any form of initiative on his own. He's barely even a leader or a tyrant in any true sense of the term, really -- he's just a glorified weapon Vex keeps stored on a shelf until he's needed.

This actually makes sense when you consider Zane's element. Ice is in its very nature a slow and sedate thing. Temperature is shaped by the speed and movement of particulates -- the faster molecules move, the hotter things are. Whereas when things get colder, molecules move much more slowly. (That's perhaps a bit of an oversimplification, but I'm not going to give a lecture on thermodynamics in a post about silly lego people). And the Ice Emperor...well, he's very much encased in ice. He has to physically pry himself off his throne, and the staff has long been frozen to his hand. The whole world is in a similar state as well. Entire swathes of the population have been cryogenically frozen, and the world is so cold that it's exceedingly difficult for fire to thrive. And many other fans have speculated that the reason Akita is able to look the same age despite decades passing is because Zane's corrupted ice has overwhelmed the land so profoundly that everyone is more or less frozen in time.

Ice is a slow, sedate, passive thing. It does not demand anything of you except that you cease movement. Likewise, the Ice Emperor in his truest state is a sedate, passive character, only stirred out of his meditations when Vex compels him into action.

True, he's often depicted as a generically ruthless tyrant in most iterations after s11, but those can usually be chalked up to Zane's unreliable self-perception. This is how Zane interprets his behavior as the Ice Emperor, rather than the actual reality of how he truly behaved. Zane resents that part of himself, and that resentment has warped his understanding of who the Ice Emperor truly was. Which in itself is rather tragic considering Zane's identity issues. That is to say, Zane is so terribly blinded by his trauma and self-loathing that not even he can see himself for who he truly is.

(Cough cough that one quote in Dragons Rising: "Zane had such impressive shoes to fill. No one could ever live up to him, perhaps not even Zane himself.")

Anyway, even if people disagree with this interpretation of the Ice Emperor's character, I personally find it much more compelling to view him not as a generic murderous tyrant...but as an old, tired machine who cannot conceive of his personhood outside of his own weaponization.

By extension, this actually makes Zane's post-s11 coping process a lot more complex as well. The popular narrative is that Zane needs to learn to accept that what happens wasn't his fault, that he had a whole chorus of extenuating circumstances working against him, and that it's actually quite impressive just how many things had to go wrong all at once for him to become evil. And that's fair, but I also think the truth of the matter is more complicated than that.

Zane knows, deep down, that the Ice Emperor's actions weren't his fault -- and that's exactly what terrifies him. Because if he accepts that he was little more than Vex's mindless weapon, then he has to admit that his greatest fear has come true. He spent decades as a mindless, soulless machine, only ever acting on the will of another person, all while being endlessly manipulated by a cursed artifact, rather than having any true agency of his own. When his friends tell him it wasn't his fault, it's not a comfort but rather a painful reminder of how long he spent as someone else's drone. When the people of the Never Realm forgive him and let him return home unobstructed, a part of Zane resents it because it means they, too, acknowledge his absence of free will.

In my eyes, Zane post-s11 is someone who feels that he needs to be blamed, needs to be hated and despised and shunned -- because if people hate him for what he did, then that means it really was his fault. And if it was his fault, then that means he didn't lose his free will after all. It means he didn't spend 50 years as someone else's empty plaything. It means he didn't spend more of his life as a mindless weapon than as a true person.

Yes, Zane needs to learn to stop blaming himself for the Ice Emperor's actions...but how can he let go of the blame when it's the only thing keeping him sane?

[skywalkr-nberrie]

Definitely the wrong interpretation of Padmé’s character to say that she wouldn’t have stayed with Anakin had she lived. Of course, in the context that he remains Vader, it’s obvious she wouldn’t stay by his side then, she’d be actively against him. But a redeemed Vader, that’s once again Anakin Skywalker? There’s no doubt that her undying love for him overpowers all. He’d have a looooot to make up for, but Padmé is the kind of person who’d be on that journey alongside him. Padmé said it herself that they’d always be “one” no matter what happened. She was always ready and willing to forgive him no matter what he did, or where he went. She was always going to his, just as much as he was always hers.

And we see this very clearly even after what’s happened on Mustafar, and after Padmé found out that everything she heard was the truth. But there’s a reason why she still had unwavering faith in Anakin. She knew he still had goodness in him, and she wanted him back. She didn’t fight tooth and nail on Mustafar to bring him back to her, begging him to stop and tell him that she loves him, only to leave him in the end. She wanted him back more than anything. Why? Because she wanted to be with him. To run away to the lakes on Naboo, where she can live out her days with him and their kid(s).

❉ ❉ ❉

“The most powerful, the most repressed thought of all could have emerged from the darkness: Padmé … and her undying love for someone he once knew well. And despite all the terrible, unspeakable things he’d done in his life, he suddenly realized he could not stand by and allow the Emperor to kill their son. And in that moment, he was no longer Darth Vader.”

[Ryder Windham’s Episode VI: Return of the Jedi novelization]

[mohntilyet]

Personal headcanon about the "you picked the wrong dellamorte" line, I don't think illario actually likes rook outside the context of them being someone close to lucanis. Like rook on their own isn't much to him, but when they meet it's yet another person talking about his cousin (why isn't he good enough for whatever job they're hiring for?) and on top of that they somehow bring him back from the dead (another whole can of worms for illario). Now he starts turning on the charm, but whether he's actually interested or this is just one more thing his cousin has that he doesn't and it gets under his skin, who knows. Either way, rook ignores illario, the guy who lives off his charm, and is instead interested in the guy who's never even dated before and thinks giving someone a knife is how to flirt. Infuriating

NO THANK YOU !! i am genuinely sorry if i have ever implied illario is into rook like i see some takes about it and unless it like ties into your rook's personal backstory i don't seriously think he's romantically jealous. at all. my enjoyment of that line stems from illario's pathological need to make it about himself and not see his strengths but what lucanis has, and therefore what he doesn't. he's annoyed enough to try and goad you in the middle of a fight about the 'wrong' dellamorte and completely blind to the fact that the venatori are at best, a stupid fucking alliance, and at worst, a cult that will devour the crows from the inside out and illario would have been the one to give them the keys. he sees lucanis make allies, needs his own, and instead of charming the other talons/houses as he should, he (probably spitefully) picks the venatori. or maybe he just thought it would be easier. ugh he makes me want to telekenetically throw him around

[fantasticgothicpeachsludge]

Help! I’ve fallen for a rarepair from a show that ended 6 years 1 month and 7 days ago!

And by rarepair I mean there is one singular fic about them where they’re not a side ship or in a collection of smut drabbles

[frecklenog]

rewatching destiny is so funny but it also HURTS !!!!!!!!! jay has to hear his dad say he’d kill the destiny gang members, which includes little destiny, and i’m sure that finn would be understanding of jay and ld’s relationship but naturally since they’ve kept it a secret finn doesn’t fucking know and it clearly upsets the poor kid ,,, crying throwing up

[dxxtruction]

Louis does see Armand for all his flaws, and yet still chooses him, and loves him, but when he sees them for what they really were, and really entailed, he no longer can. Oh, gradations of evil. Louis had in ways bought into it.

[whollyjoly]

alright we doing crazy predictions for 911 tonight??

here we fucking go:

tim nash isnt going to be bobby's brother, he's going to be bobby's dad in a flashback

hear me out-

john brotherton, who's listed as playing "tim nash" on the imdb page for step nine, is 15 years younger than peter krause. now, it could be that bobby just has a much younger brother. BUT, i think with that age (44) being peak Dad Age, it makes a whole lot more sense to me that its flashback!dad than brothers

the synopsis for 7x08 says that "bobby delves deep into memories of his childhood, unearthing moments from his fractured past" and like...if we're going to see memories of his childhood, again a 44 year-old playing "tim nash" makes a lot more sense for a dad!!

we've heard a bit about bobby being a third generation firefighter, and its something that he's very proud of. i think it would be really interesting not only to see his dad as a firefighter, but see that hero worship from bobby towards his dad, and his early love for the work and for saving people...especially in the context of dealing with the trauma of the apartment fire.

if bobby has always wanted to be a firefighter, watched his dad saving lives and heard stories of his grandfather doing the same, what would his young self think of the man who caused so much grief and pain, of the man that amir thinks he is, of the man who cost 148 lives?

maybe, just maybe, "step nine" isn't just making amends with amir, but making amends with his past self, the one who just wanted to help people, who he feels like he betrayed??

because i would LOVE to see that kind of angst - the reconciliation between the man bobby dreamed he would be and the man he is now.

and like....thats not even approaching the question of bobby's "fractured past" that the synopsis talks about, which i have...so many questions about

we know basically nothing about his family - what if bobby's dad also struggled with addiction? or had something happen at work that also cost lives, and young bobby was never able to forgive him for that? maybe bobby sees the anger amir holds towards him, and realizes that he still holds something like that towards his own father?

bobby has talked about a brother before, but i think the only time that he's mentioned it was in a story about playing "lawn darts when they were kids". maybe something happened to his brother, and he's held his father responsible for all these years? in the same way amir holds bobby responsible?

i have!! no idea!!!

i dont exactly know what they're going to throw at us (shakes fist at tim affectionately), but i think that with where this season has been going - focusing on the cornerstones of our main characters, of the things that run the deepest and are haunting the narrative (eddie's catholic guilt, buck's bisexuality, chim's journey and love for his family, doug, kevin, shannon) - it would make sense for us to take a look into bobby's childhood, something we basically no nothing about.

and with that, i truly think that "tim nash" as bobby's dad makes a lot more sense than it being his brother, and that's who we're going to see in flashbacks tonight.

but, whatever happens, i cannot WAIT to see where the angst train takes us! ✨

(bonus, since im thinking about that sweet bobby angst: do you ever think about whether bobby feels a deep sense of failure and guilt that, because of him, there will never be a 4th generation firefighter in his family? do you think the first time bobby told his dad he wanted to be a firefighter when he was a kid, his dad looked both so proud but also so worried? and when asked about it his dad just said "you'll understand when your kid says the same to you"? and that bobby realizes he will never understand because he took that chance away from them?

...cause yeah, i think about that sometimes)

[nenoname]

.....ok it's legit wild to see people saying that emma may is unironically their fave character

[knifefangz]

Jrwi prime defenders spoilers !!

I was having a normal day until I remembered that tide could have fucking DIED back there btw. Like William could have accidentally killed him with that injection. BIZLY ROLLED FOR IT. It makes me insane to think about. "because his guard would never be up for you" FUCK YOUUUUUUUU BIZLYYYYYYY

[anxious-runez]

wanted to make a post expanding on my sofia the first au: fia the worst, just for fun's sake ^_^ in the au, cedric is intrigued by this copy of sofia and wants to keep her around, so he lies and says she can only be destroyed with a potion. this way, he can escort her back to his tower, where he can propose the idea of the copy helping him take over the kingdom. she accepts without hesitation, thrilled to have a chance to do something so disruptive. cedric then swiftly decides to call her fia, so that things wouldn't be confusing. fia's amulet allows whoever is wearing it the ability to talk to animals, since when sofia duplicated herself, that power was active, so to speak, so it duplicated (listen i'm working with the plot hole as best i can). cedric begins using the copy of the amulet to speak properly with wormwood. the three of them concoct a plan to steal sofia's amulet; fia will pretend to be sofia after sofia herself has already gone to bed. that way, she can get into her room without being questioned. once inside, she would be careful not to wake sofia or her animal friends as she takes the amulet of avalor. after securing it, she would open the window, where wormwood would be waiting. he can then take the amulet back to cedric. fia will then hide somewhere in sofia's room until morning time, wait for her and her animal friends to leave, then sneak back to cedric's tower. fia wants to enact the plan as soon as possible, but cedric is wary. there are many things that could go wrong, and he wants them to wait a little while for the perfect opportunity, whatever that looks like to him. in the weeks following, fia gets bored a lot so cedric takes her into town to entertain her. fia was the one to suggest that he change her hair to look like his, so that she could be mistaken for his niece. the most fun fia can have, though, is messing with cedric. because in the episode where she makes her appearance she figured out so fast that he wanted the amulet, i choose to headcanon that fia is more perceptive of cedric than sofia, either for magical reasons or not. fia quickly catches on to cedric's soft spot for sofia, and abuses the fact that she is a version of sofia constantly. i'm pretty certain that i want to make fia betray cedric somehow after they manage to take over the kingdom, and he'll somewhat redeem himself by helping sofia to defeat her. i hope i actually make more for this au i actually like it a lot.

[psychicthepsychic-daily]

hood is the ceo of “other people have it worse” /HJ

[imminent-danger-came]

YOU think MK is a selfless forgiving good boi mc. I think he's self-centered, but that doesn't devalue the good deeds that happen as a result. We are not the same

[goatyuuji]

Also honestly speaking with an unbiased opinion, that Gojo panel from vol 26 does remind me of Toji getting hollow purpled…

The look of realisation that they are done for but not able to react to it on time, the shock of being taken by surprise when they thought they had won, getting flashback of their loved ones in their dying times…also the need to prove themselves (for Toji it was to Zenins and for Gojo it was to Sukuna) and fighting an opp they knew they can’t not win against but still fighting them nonetheless…

Also them wearing the same fit when they died lmfaooo

[thousandyearphantombunker]

(ignore the fact that I drew her in similar pose to Elodie- I wasn't thinking and this is my default pose for doodling ladies okay!) swap au idea! Enid is the one to betray Elodie-

In this AU Like in canon Enid and Elodie- were friends who trained together and like in canon in order to enter P.O.I.N.T Prep had to fight each other. Here Enid's insecurities led to her using dirty tactics to win against Elodie. Enid wasn't cruel or smug after winning but she did become significantly more distant keeping contact incredibly briefly until she just completely ghosted at random when she was going to visit Elodie- and she never gave her a reason why. Enid like in canon dislikes her dorky past- she sees P.O.I.N.T Prep as a new opportunity to be cooler and 'more herself' what actually happened was she threw herself into her ninja interests a lot more heavily and ignored many of her other interests inorder to become a better ninja and on top of that while she had free time early on in P.O.I.N.T Prep becoming an honors student meant she had to push herself harder to succeed. She became distant because outside of Elodie- she felt weird about her past- she lost her connections to her ghoul school friends, her date with Rad was awful, and she betrayed Elodie- because of her own insecurities- Elodie- came from wealth and was charismatic- the girl was a shoe in for P.O.I.N.T. Enid was shy. She was a witch who wanted to be a ninja and had a lot of embarrassing moments- she justified her decision to herself saying she would see Elodie- join P.O.I.N.T eventually anyway. Enid originally ghosted her out of embarrassment- she was that shy kid whose parents didn't get hee interests and who dated jerks who humiliated her- she decided to not be that girl anymore and being reminded of her past dorkiness and being recognized as that girl who was really awkward and shy being seen fully- it made her uncomfortable- when she realized she basically just ghosted her friend after betraying her she didn't bother with trying to fix things- Elodie- would move on without her anyway- she would just be remembered as that friend she had as a kid and lost connection with- and Enid herself lost a lot of her feelings and sense of connection with Elodie- outside of some fond memories. But the shame over becoming cold sticks with hee

One day she comes across her old friend and ex working at Gar's Bodega- she didn't want to go there because when people talk she's worried about being embarrassed again and while seeing those two doesn't trigger a powerful reaction initially (she's pretty much over Rad- he's just some bum she dated once and only vaguely recognizes him after he got swol) Elodie- makes a move to reconnect with someone she can hopefully Ruby elbows with and regain some confidence by achieving her goals as a hero with a powerful ally! (well more by reconnecting with Enid and being important to her again and not feeling lonely)- Enid acts likes she barely remembers her when she tries to do so. It's a really messy reunion. Enid's guilt keeps climbing it's way through and like being a witch and all the interests/hobbies she gave us she represses that feeling to feel secure in her identity as a ninja. She's very rude and unhelpful toward most people- she is apathetic and when people reach out to her she smacks their hands away hard- she also tries to shirk responsibility where ever she can- 'thats not my problem' or 'i won't get in trouble for that' she has to work hard to stay in so she drops 'unnecessary' responsibilities (which often include her responsibility to do heroic deeds and focuses on P.O.I.N.T's main objective- crushing enemies and looking good in interviews) luckily her old friend seems to fit in nicely at P.O.I.N.T and Elodie has totally moved on and she doesn't have to apologize or confront her emotions ever by talking to her because they are just aquaintences- and they end up dormmates

Elodie- in this AU ends up working at Gar's Bodega. She is quite embarrassed by this fact but is a hard working employee. She is very arrogant and sassy and loves making condescending manipulative comments to get attention- she's not above using a person's insecurities to persuade someone into doing something for her. She was embarrassed by Enid defeating because Elodie- was the shoe in- she was rich, talented, eloquent and she lost to her friend that while she doesn't look down on her doesn't have the same privileges as her and still beat her out. Then Enid ghosted her- like she didn't matter. Like her money and talents didn't matter. It burned her. She also feels embarrassed about the fact she's viewed as a pampered princess- a sissy bratty girl who wouldn't have to work hard and was spoiled by love and got a taste of the real world when she 'fairly' lost to her friend. She sort of gets joy out of being a mean girl. She 'realized' it wasn't her powers or money or privileges that had anything wrong with them- they had significance and where a major part in her victories-It was that she wasn't good enough. She failed not because of luck- it was only partially because of Enid being better than her- something was wrong with her- and what was wrong? She wasn't ruthless enough. She wasn't actually important at all she was insignificant. She wants to make a big impact with her assets and isn't ashamed of her cash or beauty and uses them to get what she wants regardless of what people say about it but that 'your actions don't matter only your bank account does' mentality hurts her-she even believes Enid might have only befriended her to learn how her bow works or because Enid wanted gifts from her . She flaunts everything she's got because she thinks it what people see even if she isn't important herself- she's very materialistic When she meets Enid again she is genuinely a bit excited to see her friend again and would love to chat- but since that friendly longing doesn't fit her new style she tells others she's using her past connection to Enid to get into P.O.I.N.T to get a chance- playing up a nepotism angle and playing into the rich socialite dick angle. When she does eventually get into P.O.I.N.T her ruthlessness benefits her- she is determined to be seen as a very important influential person and refuses to let any opportunity pass her- she wants to matter to Enid again in a way unrelated to cash and to be popular- Enid is sort of burnt out when they meet up though and it's clear the cutthroat environment and the decisions she has to make are getting to her- So Elodie- thinking Enid would want this and that all her past failures where caused by being too generous makes ruthless choices that help them both but when pinned against each other again Enid doesn't take any shots at her either despite the fact she mentally built an image of Enid as ruthless- and she has no clue why

[lazarus-harp]

matthew will always be the most complex character in escape the night no matter what. his emotions are always at 0 or 100 there is no in between for that man. he tries to cover up how intensely emotionally attached to people he's only known for a couple of hours by being passive aggressive and overly sarcastic then gives them devoted attention 5 minutes later. he admits in a confessional in episode 4 that choosing between voting in rosanna, safiya or teala is hard and that he's scared. why would he level rosanna who he's known for years with safiya and teala who he's only known for a few hours? he holds someones hand, shoulder or waist as a form of affection then randomly stops and shelters himself pretending that he doesn't want to talk to anyone but the second someone speaks to him or shows him any form of attention hes overwhelmed by it and goes 100 miles by constantly following them around, he either always gives a nickname (like ro for rosanna/darling for nikita) or says their name like he's known them for his entire life (softly and slowly) he's attached at the hip to the person of the episode who gives him the most attention and love (and yes i will be calling this man an attention whore bc he is one, don't deny it) he treats his love like a toy in which if you even leave the slightest scratch on it, he'll take it away until he paint over the scratch, gives in to his urges and gives it back almost like a second chance but he gives you unlimited chances bc he can not help himself. he is the only person in this so who is 100% willing to beat or even kill for someone he loves. like in episode seven you can see by the look in his eyes he wants nikita gone bc she expressed her feelings in a way that wasn't right in his mind. he paints pictures of everyone in is head and becomes unsatisfied and irrational when they aren't what he imagined them to be which is why in episode 8 when he tells nikita that he "doesn't like this side of her" i think he's not saying he dislikes how mean she's becoming, he's disliking the fact that she isn't the person he wanted her to be. he loves hard and hates hard then tries to take it all back, and though we as a fandom should hate someone who is a short-tempered attention whore who has severe attachment issues. we can't, he's almost everyone's favourite and if not, he's always in someones top 3 or top 5. and honestly i don't think there is a rational explanation for this he just captivates us because he has the characteristics of a golden boy who we root for but other than that i don't know why our favourite detective is so beloved when he has the most hate-able traits ever.... but my god do i love that man <3

i am soooo in love with this holy hell! i'm like, ugh, this is just such a well worded take on the detective and i always get this second wind of love for him when other people see him in a similar vein to how i've always viewed him. there's so many characters in etn, many of which who are complex and astonishingly human in the most interesting of ways, yet i keep coming back to matthew constantly. as you said in the end, he just has this undescribable pull on everyone around him that can't be understood or logically reasoned with. his traits are beyond hate-able and his wishy-washy nature should, by all means, make people hate him and distrust him. this is a death game! the last person you want to devote yourself to and bend over backwards for is a guy like mat ... but nobody in the show hates him, and neither do the fans of the show. the way he wraps people around his finger? the way he makes people want to do anything for him, makes even the most selfish of people want to be better? all while not trying that hard? it's insane. has he ever considered starting a cult? because he'd kill it. ahem! back on track, however!

'there is no in-between with that man' is exactly what makes his love for others ( his attachment ) so devastatingly intense and extreme. it's also why he has the capacity for cruelty that even the most 'mean' people in his season hasn't done nor thought of ... his sudden apathy and pettiness towards nikita and manny in ep9's death challenge comes out of nowhere, and joey of all people is completely taken aback and borderline appalled by his behavior in that moment. but in a split second, he's back to loving those two with a fierceness and, after being so clearly hurt by manny's passing, goes right into comfort and protect mode with nikita -- someone who, mind you, he just casually admitted to wanting her to die over manny not even minutes prior. it's this bizarre sense of wishy-washy behavior except it isn't, not really, since all those emotions don't come from a real place of apathy. there's not a part of the detective that can be described as uncaring because his entire problem, the crux of his character, is that he cares too much. in the best ways, the worst ways, and the selfish ways. most people in etn have this moment where you see them switch off so to speak, where they take a step back from others because they acknowledge there's either a.) no time for emotions or personal opinions, or b.) caring about these strangers will only make things harder, so there's no point. mat is a character who never has that moment and actively goes against these 'rules' at every turn, and honestly, he's probably a big part of why s3's group seems to care more about each other then the two groups before them. he just loves people so much! it's like this thing he can't help but do. and you're totally right with the fact he tries covering it up -- where he says mean things or does something specifically to someone with the intent to hurt, like he's trying to burn his barely formed bridges and be this perfect uneffected leader ... but he can't commit to it. it's like he either gets attention from that person again and just flings himself into them full force, or he misses them. which is crazy! how can you miss someone you don't know that well? but mat does, all the time.

and it's such a selfless thing, initially, if you're labeled as someone who loves so much and cares too deeply. when you're someone who's helpless to this nature. except, again, the detective's love isn't exactly unconditional. it is, but it isn't. he'll always come back to someone and dote on them, yet there are consequences to being someone he cares about. with mortimer and the town of everlock, matthew is consistent. nobody's ever 'punished' and he overall doesn't care for how these people act because he has no love for them whatsoever. this man even has the audacity to be like “you're welcome.” in this plain ass tone to maria in ep8 when she's gushing about how she's gotten her life back, because it wasn't worth the price of rosanna's. sure, he joins in on that group hug and eases himself onto manny's shoulder after -- but while the other three rejoice about how they're actually saving people, about how their deaths won't be meaningless, the detective is oddly quiet despite the smile on his face. he might love fiercely and hate twice as hard with his group, but like you said! he'd be willing to fight or kill anyone, including burning all of everlock to the ground with the residents inside it, if it meant the people he loves would stop dying. he stays gloomy and cynical about this by the end of the episode and at the start of the next. like he's waving this massive sign around that reads “hey! noticed you guys are falling into the belief that these randos' lives are worth more than yours! so i'll remember how stupid and awful and not true this is since i guess you guys forgot to.” which is ironic since these people are just as innocent as them, and just as foreign to matthew as a majority of his so called 'loved ones' tonight ... he just can't see that and so passionately distrusts everyone else's intentions and character besides his group. he's totally willing to forgive joey, but saving some poor guy tied up and begging for help? yeah, fuck him. mat's gonna drag his feet to help and keep trying to convince manny, nikita, ro, and joey to leave the bastard for dead. there's only one thing he wouldn't do for who he loves and that's die for them, but that's genuinely the only thing ; he has no boundaries, no reservations, no things he wouldn't share or do or forgive them for, it's just that he's not willing to get himself killed. crazy behavior, if you think about it.

also, thank you, thank you, thank you for the nikita comment, because that's exactly the thing isn't it? these claims that he doesn't like this side of her that he's seeing, that she's darker and more competitive, are flimsy at best and false at worst. matthew has always known who nikita is since the jump, has labeled her as someone who stirs the pot and is well versed in being mean. basically admits he sees her as just her title and nothing more since, when he votes her in come ep3, his reasoning is “we don't need troublemakers in the group.” to him, nikita is dramatic, troublesome, and someone who's willing to do anything for herself. she's a person who doesn't care for others, much less someone who experiences grief to any degree. it's a shallow read of her character but it's a conclusion we see mat come to because of all he's witnessed from her early on : demeaning roi until he sacrifices himself ( for mat, funnily enough ), belittling teala, and even cheering for manny during the challenge that gets matthew killed. it's a nature he struggles with hating yet it's one he loves nikita in spite of and one he loves her for. you see his hatred for this in early episodes, but his adoration for it shows just as much in later parts of their journey together. he almost drowns her in praise in ep9 because of how effortlessly she's won ( only to condemn her for this later, oh mat ) and actively tries engaging in this 'competitive' side of hers in s4, where he's all smiles and playful with her. he wasn't 'surprised' by nikita's behavior in ep7 as much as he was probably blindsighted by it. mat, fresh and high off his revival and the love he was shown, had probably forgotten this was how these people were normally. maybe he painted nikita as some secretive major softie in his head and when that didn't add up, he became unsatisfied and irrational and began changing this view to claim she was becoming someone she wasn't ... despite her being that way all along. you see this sorta behavior from him, this like, i decide how you really are and what you think, because when nikita tries apologizing and explaining herself he so rudely cuts her off and hammers down on his view of things. again, nikita most likely was trying to get mat to grasp that he's never been in a challenge with his best friend before, that this was what he wouldn't get, but mat angrily assumes she's stupid enough to think he doesn't get what being in a challenge and almost dying is like. eventually nikita stops trying with him, but this isn't because of her, it's entirely due to him retreating down a road where he's not letting anyone reach him anymore, for a while. it's also so telling how loved he is because almost every etn fan came out of ep7 hating nikita and believing mat's warped and untrue view of her. despite us seeing physical proof of nikita saying safiya's death saddens her, we fall for mat's claims that she delighted in safiya's death.

( which is something he quickly forgives her for all things considered lol. also, i love nikita because she and mat are two sides of the same coin. she's different to mat in a way that makes them exactly the same. mat is portrayed as selfless individual, a good person, a leader, when he's genuinely the most selfish guy around who picks favorites and would let innocents die simply because of biased views and reasoning. nikita, on the other hand, is portrayed as selfish and vain and inherently bad ; when she's the only one continuously pushing the group forward like a true leader, when she's willing to stick her hands into places where she could lose them because no one else wants to, and helps people without a second thought and does, quietly, feel devastated when people die. there's truth to these surface level reads of them both but that is not all they are. these are mainly fronts, purposefully put on or not, with elements of truth. like, nikita and mat are so similar they even have green and yellow-coded best friends who are their better and more sympathetic halves. nobody's doing it like them! )

the detective is short tempered, he's an attention whore, and has severe attachment issues and i adore him to bits and pieces haha. and love the little bit where you say he 'tries to take it all back' when he loves and hates because i think guilt and regret are huge parts of him too. it's another thing that pushes him into doing dangerous missions and dedicating himself to a bad way of life just as much as his love. he wants a do-over with jc, he wants to save roi who he let die for him, he wants to not vote in teala despite the cost, he wants to be able to have the guts to tell safiya she was secretly one of his favorites, and he wishes he wasn't a coward and that he would've tried to save rosanna rather than just talk to her, etc etc. probably would give almost anything to see manny again and take back how he acted in the ep9 death challenge, because the record producer was someone he was so fond of and consistently treated well, and then he let one petty moment be the last thing they'll ever have together. mat is someone founded on this guilt, regret, love, and he proves you can adore someone with your whole being and still treat them unfairly. there's so many layers to him and if he wasn't as crazy, needy, destructive, and charming as he was i wouldn't have fallen for etn as much as i did. he is the moment and if he comes back in s5 i hope people remember these things about him because i find the fanon detective so boring. let him be his messy, hypocritical, judgemental self! it's so much more fun.

[endawna]

you now how a durge has to resist the urge to snap their lover’s neck after a s..ex scene ( or, at least, after mint’s)? something like that but the pc isn’t the one resisting anything; it’s pax. having s..ex with him really is a gamble. especially when he’s possessed by an entity that has a ‘compulsion to consume everything they encounter’. pray he makes that throw.