#(<- beginning of the game but referencing endgame stuff)

[kumakuma-circus]

neat (even if obvious) that this is specifically izanami's dungeon.

[miraculouscontent]

It’s heeeeere! Another summasalt, this time with nearly twice the length of the first one!

(Turns out that not having caffeine doesn’t help me talk any slower.)

Script below:

Anonymous asked:

Thoughts on Rocketear?

Can you Rocketear the newest episode apart with your salt, my beloved Salt Queen?

Penny for your thoughts on Rocketear?

Aw, anon! You can have that for free! I'm a generous goddess.

"Rocketear" begins with Chat Noir and Carapace - just Carapace, really - holding back a pack of what I presume to be the physical manifestation of the writing staff's age, or at least a representation of how behind the times the writing seems.

Just as the dinosaurs break through Shellter. Ladybug shows up with the scientist who revived the dinosaurs in the first place and said scientist uses a whistle to calm the dinosaurs down. There's also a line from Bob Roth about putting the dinosaurs in a theme park to make money and I know what it's referencing but it's so incredibly random that it doesn't really come off as a proper joke.

Carapace was notably sad right after battle, but insisted that he was fine when Ladybug asked. Rena, sporting a... - I would like to say "new design" but it's a recolor in every sense of the word - is hiding behind part of a building and smiles after the heroes before walking off. Ladybug takes Nino's miraculous back but sees that he's still upset and asks him again what's wrong. Nino asks where Alya was and Ladybug claims that she only needed Carapace for the job, which cheers him up but only until Ladybug is already gone.

Mm, I guess Nino and Adrien relate in heroism not being enough for them unless they have their respective love interest to flirt with.

Also, I know this is an obvious set-up, but the show can't tell me that Ladybug just always brought Nino and Alya whenever she needed one of them. Season 3 required her to go to Master Fu to get the miraculouses, and unless she already knew that Nino and Alya would be in the same location - which, okay, the show does basically shove the two of them together whenever Nino is onscreen, fair, if two characters are in a relationship in this show then it's weird for them to NOT be with that person - but it just seems like a gamble, not to mention proof to Shadow Moth that the two are close if Ladybug constantly brings both of them.

Anyway, Ladybug goes into the sewer and asks Rena if she's seen any sign of Shadow Moth or his traps. Rena didn't see anything and they de-transform. Marinette is about to leave when she thinks of something, but Alya assumes it's about her new look, which was apparently not voluntary on her part and the suit automatically adapted to Alya's new role as Rena Furtive, which she has now named it as.

Marinette reminds her that this is supposed to be a secret and that they agreed that the fox has no owner. When Alya is evasive about whether she told Nino that she won't be Rena anymore, Marinette stresses that everyone needs to believe that Alya won't be using a miraculous anymore so that she can remain an undercover spy.

What's the point in changing the look if you're not going to show yourself anyway? I mean, insurance, I guess, but still.

Alya, exasperated, parrots what Marinette has apparently told her before: that she helps Ladybug with Mirage in case Shadow Moth tries to follow her so Rena can follow him instead. Marinette stresses the situation again and Alya tries to get Marinette to agree on her telling Nino that she's Rena Furtive, but Marinette refuses.

At Marinette's house, Alya talks further and explains that she doesn't know if she can lie to Nino since they don't keep any secrets--Alya, babe, you kept Rena Rouge from him and didn't tell him that you knew he was Carapace until Ladybug was forced to give you your miraculouses at the same time. I don't wanna hear it.

Marinette states that it's too late for that and also not technically a lie, but Alya gets upset and says that Nino will never trust her again if he finds out that she kept something from him. Marinette brings up how she had to keep secrets from Alya too, but they're interrupted by Tom appearing and wanting to play games with them. Marinette makes an excuse about homework that she's repeated many times, as Tom comments that the teachers give her too much. After Tom is kicked out - hang on, lemme just... - Marinette uses the moment to show Alya that she's lied to her family a lot and hasn't played games with her father in months. She states that there's no other option as they have to protect their identities, and Alya agrees to talk to Nino.

In Alya's room - I just presume at this point that Nino's house doesn't exist and Chris is an illusion - Alya tells Nino that they need to talk, but stammers and states that it's hard to talk about. Nino thinks that she wants to break up with him, but Alya assures that she loves him. She finally gets to the cover story that Rena herself made up in "Sentibubbler" and Nino understands, sad that she won't be around anymore but agreeing if it's what Ladybug thinks is best.

Is it weird that Nino respects Ladybug's wishes more than Alya does?

Nino hugs her and is confused by why Alya was nervous to tell him, as she can tell him anything and nothing will change their relationship. Alya feels guilty and hugs back, murmuring about how they don't have any secrets; that's not what Nino said, but sure, push this plot to its already predictable conclusion. I mean, I thought it was vaguely sweet that Nino switched to seriousness immediately when Alya said that she wanted to talk, but how am I supposed to be invested in this couple when their dynamic boils down to "STRONG, INDEPENDANT WOMAN who wears the pants in the relationship because her boyfriend is portrayed as a wimpy coward"? Like, the show constantly dragged Nino down to make Alya look "powerful" by comparison, and then when it comes to characters like Marinette, we get a girl who works very well outside of her relationship with her endgame love interest.

It's the fakest form of "girl power," dragging guys down to raise girls up or actually making a strong girl character but having her love interest be a weakness that creates flaws in her that weren't there originally and having that love interest be who she's "destined for."

I'm rambling, sorry.

In class, Marinette assures Alya that she did the right thing and Alya agrees. As they're leaving school, Marinette talks about how their "night walks" start soon, and Alya non-subtly talks about how Rena Furtive will be on the lookout while Ladybug and Chat Noir patrol. She stops, however, as gets excited about some pictures she took of herself as Rena Furtive, which has a lot of details that Marinette hasn't seen. I don't know whether to groan at what I just heard or remind everyone that Rena Furtive is literally just a recolor and therefore this is the writers patting themselves on the back for this design, so let's just move on.

Alya then shows Marinette her phone--AUGH, MY EYES--and suggests making a poll on her Ladyblog so people can vote for their favorite Rena design. Marinette has to stress again that Rena Furtive is supposed to be a spy and thus invisible, which Alya admits that she forgot about.

Okay, I've been holding off on talking about this, but now seems like the best time to bring it up. Alya has been a trash friend as well as a trash confidant, and her role as Rena Rouge boiled down to, "it was convenient for her to be the fox at the time it was needed." She's not particularly stealthy like one would expect of a fox, and she was easily one of the worst candidates to be told Marinette's big secret. I'll get more into this later, but I have to stress that Alya has treated Marinette no differently since learning of Marinette's identity and has already gone against Marinette's orders once before at the time of this episode airing. Episodes are constantly torn between validating their decision to have Marinette tell Alya, having Marinette be worried about the decision while the show considers her to be ridiculous for it, and then having Alya either consider or make choices that clearly don't gel well with what's good for her role. Much like Marinette, she lacks a sense of self-control and--wow, a female character who's impulsive, never seen that stereotype before.

Point being, "Sentibubbler" stressed over and over that Alya was the right choice and deserved to be both the permanent fox and the understudy for guardian, but then we have "Rocketear" here where Alya is making basic emotionally-driven errors that I'm not even remotely sympathetic to when Marinette has gone through so much worse over the course of three+ seasons.

*sigh*

Alya laments that it's hard to find new content for the Ladyblog - ah, yes, tell me more about your struggles, Alya - but figures that at least she can post stuff about Chat Noir instead of--I don't know--making fake Ladybug theories to lead people off Marinette's trail. Marinette says that it's a great idea, though Alya still doesn't look too happy. The scene then rewinds to a little bit to show a different point of view, this time with Adrien and Nino. Wait, this feels familiar, wasn't there another episode that did something like--ohhhh no, this is going to hurt.

After saying good-bye to Adrien - something I wish I could do every time he's mentioned or on-screen - Nino catches the bit of conversation where Alya talks about the Ladyblog. Nino talks as if Marinette isn't there and asks Alya out to the movies because Marinette is chopped liver and this is about Alya and how sad she is, guys.

Wow, she's turning into Adrien faster and faster.

Alya hesitates, but Marinette assures her that there's still time. Alya excitedly runs off with Nino and they watch what I presume are previews given the narrator, featuring recycled footage from the Ladybug PV. Nino is upset because Rena is mentioned but not Carapace, and the preview features Rena telling Chat Noir to forget Ladybug because it's Chat and Rena herself who are trulu made for each other.

I don't know what's funnier; the complete lack of self-awareness or the suggestion that a biracial couple would exist in this show outside of a special that gives them maybe a minute of screentime and acts more like suggestive canon anyway. I think I might've been too generous with that line about dinosaurs.

Nino is offended by the preview and Alya brushes off his comments, stating that it's just a cartoon and it's made to entertain people, though Nino himself is certainly not entertained. Can't say I entirely blame him considering that Alya doesn't really try to say anything substantial or even agree with him. No cuddling or reassuring kisses, she just gets slightly sad and turns to her phone for a bit.

After the movie, Nino is cheered back up again until he catches Alya on her phone once more. He offers to take her home, but she's distracted, and he comments that what she showed to Marinette looked pretty nice; I don't know because they didn't show it. Nino asks what it was and Alya evades the question, stating that her battery is running out. Nino is suspicious, but spots Andre's ice cream cart and the two head over there. Andre calls them his favorite couple and asks what they want, but Alya sees Ladybug gesturing for her and has to run off, giving Nino a cheek kiss as she goes which feels like too little too late at this point.

Nino catches some conveniently-placed kids arguing over who Chat Noir loves, but they settle on the fact that girls in general love Chat Noir. Nino is then seen at the Seine watching the Ladyblog's latest video, where Alya is talking up how amazing Chat Noir is. I hate to stop every five seconds to complain - okay, actually I don't - but I presume this video must've been made after the movie since Nino seems like the type who would actively follow his girlfriend's blog, yet not only is this video perfectly set up to echo the kids and the movie preview, but Alya - despite apparently caring about her boyfriend soooo much that she kept trying to convince Marinette to bend the rules - didn't even try to warn Nino or text him so he doesn't take it too seriously. It's like "Sentibubbler" with the conflicting messages about identity rules; Alya cares about her boyfriend but both isn't thinking about how he'll take the things she says and apparently doesn't know him well enough to realize that he wouldn't be mad over her keeping a secret that she was told to keep. I already talked about how they play up Nino to be the emotionally weaker one of the relationship, but then they don't have Alya try to cover or make up for that. She's been acting very much not like Alya - you know, the one who in "Sapotis" practically bragged about how great she'd be at covering for Ladybug - with her stutters and weak excuses, so I can't completely blame Nino for being upset after everything that's happened when he sees the writers projecting onto Alya as she talks about how Chat Noir is brave and funny and cute and showing all these images of him as well. I don't agree with all of his actions, but--oh yeah, speaking of which--

Nino calls Adrien and is talking to him about how Alya must be in love with someone else. Adrien dismisses the idea, as Alya and Nino are together basically all the time, and asks who she could possibly be in love with. When Nino suggests that it's Chat Noir, Adrien laughs and jokes about it being Fang instead. Nino points out the video but Adrien did see it but is overall unphased and convinced that it means nothing. Nino says that he'll find proof and hangs up, but Adrien is certain he'll find nothing. Plagg comments that Nino will find someone because Plagg's charisma has definitely contaminated Adrien.

Ugh.

Adrien expresses concern that he put on the cat's charm too much and accidentally made Alya fall for him, and decides to visit Alya as Chat Noir to be sure.

Meanwhile, we get a reference to film noirs as Nino narrates. That's the second blatant reference this episode and now I feel like they wrote this script while doing a movie marathon.

Chat Noir arrives at Alya's house and Trixx hides before Alya opens the curtains to reveal her surprise guest. Nino is nearby watching the scene with his phone as Alya wonders aloud if something's wrong. Chat assures that everything's fine, but brings up the video she posted. He insists that it made him happy, but points out that she's been following him and Ladybug since the beginning and that they know each other much better due to everything that's happened. He has some conveniently-worded dialog as he starts to say that he hopes something's just an illusion and Alya gets worried that he's about to bring up Rena. Chat continues and clarifies that he wonders if she started to feel something for him, though adds that he understands because just look at him.

UGGGGH.

Chat clarifies by making a heart with his hands, which Nino sees. Alya laughs at this gesture and states that she has a boyfriend, doing the same heart gesture and suggesting that her love for Nino is even more than that. Chat Noir apologizes - hm, I didn't know he had the capacity to do that - and hugs Alya, saying that he was just confused.

An absolutely unnecessary hug for two people who, at least in terms of their current selves, have had very little screentime together, but this is also the show where making eye contact basically means your friends and it's all just to push the plot along so Nino inteprets that Alya is in love with Chat Noir, so whatever I guess.

Alya states that Nino is far more irresistable than Chat, then adds that she doesn't even know his secret identity, and she'd never fall in love with someone she doesn't know. Nino then runs away upset and the scene cuts away to the next day where--

Wait, wait, wait, hang on a second. Two things right off the bat there.

First off, we're just gonna sidle past that "wouldn't fall in love with someone you don't know the identity of" while ignoring the existence of the love square? Not even Chat thinking about how he doesn't know Ladybug's identity and trying to excuse that he doesn't have to? This guy is that certain of their relationship?

Secondly, Nino is practically sobbing and Shadow Moth doesn't take this as his opportunity? Same guy who akumatized Mr. Pigeon 72 times and has akumatized Gigantitan more than once? What is this pacing???

But--alright, so Adrien comes into school and sees Nino, still dressed up in his detective gear, which gets ignored completely as Adrien goes to tell him about Chat Noir and Alya. Because the show doesn't know how Adrien would convey this within reason, Nino interrupts him, taking him down into the lower part of the school where he has a desk and chairs set up. Adrien goes to ask when Nino had time to do this, but Nino slams his hand on the desk to cut him off. Nino presents the evidence he took and they go back and forth, likewise with Adrien turning off the background music while Nino turns it back on. Adrien insists that it's a misunderstanding, but pleads innocent when Nino asks how he knows. Adrien states that Alya is just a superhero fan and that she and Chat Noir have nothing in common.

Again, the complete lack of self-awareness is astonishing.

Adrien repeats what Alya said about secret identities and how she wouldn't fall for someone she doesn't know - they're really ignoring this, aren't they? - and continues hitting Nino's soft spots about how unlikely it is until Nino decides to tell Adrien something he's not supposed to.

He tells Adrien, not only that Alya is Rena Rouge, but that he's Carapace. Adrien goes through a range of emotions beyond sAD for once, shocked at the fact that they know each other's identities. Nino states that they don't keep secrets from each other, except now Alya is with Chat Noir. Adrien still doesn't understand and brings up how secret identities have to be protected, or else Nino wouldn't have told him because Ladybug wouldn't agree to it.

Oh, here we go. So that's why they waited.

Nino states that it was Ladybug herself who gave them their miraculouses at the same time; not giving the reason why, of course, nor pointing out that they're temporary heroes so there's understandably some leeway. Adrien is having a moment, but manages to bring the subject back to Alya and Chat Noir, who he still doesn't think are a thing. Nino argues that it's because Adrien doesn't know Chat Noir, but he does because he's Carapace and knows how Chat Noir acts. He says that it's all flowers and confessions when Ladybug appears, but he gets rejected because Ladybug thinks that he's annoying, and she's right. He adds that Chat flirts with Rena Rouge and that's all that needs to happen, with Chat stepping in on the first mission Carapace lost in. Nino laments the loss of the love of his life and wishes to shut Chat Noir up forever; we all do, Nino, we all do. Shadow Moth finally steps in with - oh, less than eight minutes left in the episode, yikes - and Nino is akumatized into Rocketear.

Rocketear rejects Adrien's pleas to stop, insisting that Chat Noir is who he's after, not Adrien, and Adrien transforms in sad fashion despite Plagg's reminder of who Rocketear is after. Alya, meanwhile, is in the art club with Marinette - wait, since when was Alya in the art club - telling Marinette about how Chat Noir thought she was into him due to the video, which Marinette groans at. There's an earthquake and they peek outside to see Rocketear firing his tears at Chat Noir, shouting that he stole Alya from him. Chat Noir tries to tell him otherwise, but Rocketear won't listen.

Alya groans at Nino doing this, then she and Marinette set off to find a place to transform. They conveniently go to the same place Adrien and Nino were, so they see the desk that Nino had set up.

Genuine question, how seriously does this episode want me to take itself, because now when I recount all the unnecessary love square drama in my head - because you know that's where this is going - I'm going to have to think, "Nino, dressed in a detective outfit, ripped off his fake mustache and told Adrien both his and Rena's identities, and also that Ladybug was totally cool with it and thinks that Chat Noir is annoying."

Gettin' two completely different vibes here. The episode clearly wants to be important but it doesn't take itself seriously either, which it totally could while including enough jokes to keep things light. Instead, I'm just left scratching my head and wondering what tone they're going for.

Marinette finds Nino's phone on the desk - I'm calling continuity error on that one because he at no point put it on the desk, at least not on-screen - and she questions Alya on the video she sees. Alya insists that nothing happened, apparently completely unphased by her boyfriend having spied on her, and says that he wouldn't have misunderstood if he'd heard the actual conversation.

The two transform and Ladybug immediately uses Lucky Charm, receiving a projector. Ladybug is clueless and Rena Furtive suggests creating an imaginary movie like Nino. Ladybug gets an idea, remembering Alya's earlier comments, and Rena confirms that she remembers every word of it.

Aaaaand, just like that, all of the tension has been completely sucked away. You know, "Backwarder" was a trash episode, but at least when Ladybug was showing every step of her plan, she didn't tell us what it was.

Meanwhile, Rocketear and Chat Noir are still arguing--I started zoning out at hearing the same thing over and over again at this point, so I just presume they were fighting over who does stuff behind their love interest's backs better; I don't think they came to an agreement but they're both losers anyway.

Chat Noir says that he'll prove his innocence, tossing his baton aside to show him giving up, but Rocketear points out that it proves nothing and strikes Chat Noir with his tears.

Our endgame love interest, everyone. Straight As yet about as smart as a sack of bricks, and that at least won't flirt with anyone non-consensually.

Chat Noir makes a point that he doesn't want to hurt Rocketear, and Shadow Moth tells Rocketear to take his miraculous before finishing him. Chat Noir can only weakly tell him not to before Ladybug snags Rocketear's wrist and diverts the shot. Ladybug explains to Rocketear about the projector and how it'll let him hear the audio of the recording he took. She adds that she doesn't know what Chat said, but she trusts him.

Marinette, I'm sorry, I feel so bad for you.

Ladybug turns on the projector and Rocketear relaxes at actually hearing what was going on. Rena then de-transforms and hurries out to meet with Rocketear, hugging him as Rocketear apologizes for doubting her. Alya also kinda sorta apologizes in a way I don't understand and Rocketear then breaks his akumatization, very casually, all on his own.

Yeah, just--casually, in a matter of seconds in fact. You know, it's really sad when people resisting akumatizations are more tense and emotionally compelling than them breaking them. This is twice in one season now and has zero impact considering that Nino's reason for being akumatized was already taken care of so he had no reason to stay akumatized anyway. Him breaking his own object to release the akuma would've at least been different, but instead it's just a repeat of what Alya went through with even less tension considering that Alya's wasn't even that good in the first place, relying on her relationship to Ladybug rather than who she knew to be her best friend.

Moving on, Ladybug captures the akuma and uses Miraculous Ladybug to bring everything back to normal. Shadow Moth monologues about how love and secrets don't go well together and he's sure that she has a lot and I'll talk about this later.

Ladybug hands over the magical charm, which Nino takes but insists that he won't need it, as he'll never let Shadow Moth use his love to manipulate him again. Plenty of other things to get akumatized over, but they gave the supposedly ace character a robot to help him stick out and also gave the supposedly aro character a miraculous back in season one to give her more importance. If characters aren't in love then they need something to ceompensate for it.

Nino apologizes to Chat Noir for being wrong and Chat Noir assures him that everyone has doubts, even him. He gets sad and Ladybug asks him what's wrong, but he insists that he's fine - officially throwing away his right to be upset at her later as far as I'm concerned - and they do their usual fist buuuuu--

...Really?

Everyone then splits up and Chat Noir sulks by himself instead of--you know, talking to Ladybug, or asking her anything, or making any sort of excuse for her because that would mean he actually has faith in her and understands that their partnership is different from temporary heroes, even if the excuse was as basic as her wanting to protect him more than the others because he would be that egotistical if they didn't want to stretch out this unnecessary drama.

Later on, Adrien is staring at a picture on the Ladyblog that might be a metaphor for the show considering how "in the foreground" Chat Noir and Rena are.

Adrien vents about Ladybug giving miraculouses to Alya and Nino, but Plagg states that she's the guardian. Adrien clarifies that he's referring to Alya and Nino knowing each other's identities, but Plagg doesn't see the issue. Adrien gets huffy and asks why the rule exists for LadyNoir but not Ninya, but Plagg again points out that she's the guardian, so she makes the rules, though obviously he uses cheese metaphors to convey it.

Okay, Plagg is only, like--half-right because he doesn't have all the information. If you don't mind me rambling for a bit, I'm on the fence here because, on one hand--yes, I agree that Marinette should be allowed to make her own rules, and I often do that in my writing because I think she should be permitted leeway in order to let herself be happy, but on the other hand, it's not technically her rule, as she had to let Alya and Nino in on their identities back in the Season 2 finale, so Fu was still around for a season. She wasn't even guardian yet!

Now, presumably so the fandom could blame Marinette if anything happened, Marinette never discussed this with Fu on-screen, so I can't say whether or not Fu knew, but I feel like he must've since Marinette had to have told him the heroes' identities off-screen, given "Party Crasher," and thus I imagine that Marinette would tell Fu everything that happened, which is consistent with what she does on-screen even if she'd keep things from him for a little while.

"Furious Fu" had also established that not even Master Fu followed rules completely, meaning that Marinette is in this awkward spot of mostly following what Fu taught her, which aren't all guardian rules anyway, and having to break the rules on occasion for various purposes. I can't say what Fu approved of and what he didn't, because episodes spend so much time on the love square that they forget about Marinette as a person and how she interacts with everyone else. From an emotional standpoint, I can't blame Marinette for not revoking the miraculouses of people whose identities get discovered because of her, as I imagine she feels guilty and it probably doesn't seem fair to force them into another miraculous or have them be entirely without one because of a mistake that she made, meaning that someone needs to be throwing a lot of red flags for Marinette to be through with them.

Though obviously, from the show's standpoint, it's just an excuse to not make new models, but I complained about that enough in "Sentibubbler" and this episode even went out of its way to design a detective model for Nino while spraypainting Alya's bodysuit in the same breath, so this is the world we live in.

Anyway, Marinette is essentially in this position where she still has Fu's rules hovering over her, but she's also trying to step out on her own and make her own decisions to varying degrees of success or failure depending on your point of view. Tikki--wait, no, bad idea--Su-Han then, could easily give input on these things, perhaps with Marinette discussing a modern day set of rules for someone her age and going back and forth with Su-Han on what the right choices to make are, finding something that's comfortable but within a realm of predictable control. Su-Han was okay with some rules being broken after seeing how Ladybug handled them and they could've easily made this episode about that instead, but instead, we get rules being set and then being broken on a writer's whim.

Which now brings us to the end of the episode, where Marinette is on the phone with Alya and apologizes for causing trouble between her and Nino. Alya tells her not to worry and she'll fix things - you know, those things that, to Marinette's knowledge, have already been fixed - and asks if Marinette trusts her. Marinette does, and Alya hangs up in order to face Nino.

Yeah, that feeling of dread in your stomach? That means you know how predictable the writing is and what's about to happen, good for you.

Alya explains that she has to tell Nino something and he's worried, this time trying to sheepishly break the tension. She explains that she's still Rena Rouge, much to Nino's shock, and adds that she's in hiding, which is why Ladybug didn't want her to tell anyone. Nino asks why she's telling him if she's not supposed to tell anyone - proving my point from a while back that he wouldn't have been upset had she kept it a secret - then asks if Ladybug agreed with it.

I want to give him a pat on the back for considering Ladybug, but he didn't even tell her when he had the chance that Adrien knows his identity now, so I'm just beaten down at this point.

Instead of answering the question directly, Alya says that she can't hide her identity from him because she loves him and they don't have secrets.

You know, like Nino telling Adrien about Rena's identity, or Alya saying specifically that she's a permanent holder, which I'm sure both of them will confess to since they said that they don't have--aaaaand the episode ends on happy triumphant music, okay.

I mean, I guess Alya at least didn't tell him that Marinette was Ladybug, but that is such a low bar and not even remotely worthy of congratulations when Alya told Nino the specific thing that Marinette told Alya not to tell; the thing that they had agreed on.

Nino wasn't upset anymore. He won't be getting akumatized either. Alya endured the supposed hardship of being a permanent fox holder for four episodes before breaking down and telling her boyfriend. Even her excuse doesn't hold any water because, again, they're both still technically keeping a secret, particularly Alya who knows Marinette's identity as Ladybug. The episode also apparently forgets that Alya and Marinette's friendship must not be as strong by her logic of telling Nino specifically everything, as Alya kept Rena Rouge a secret from Marinette for all of Season 3, but tells Nino about continuing to be Rena Rouge in Season 4. Boyfriends before BFFs without explicitly saying it, or to be more specific, whatever screws Marinette over the most, because that's what this comes down to, made worse by "Optigami" where Marinette told Alya that she'd tell her everything and I guess that doesn't go both ways.

"Sentibubbler" had Alya stress that no one would ever know. She promised Marinette and told Marinette to trust her, and the episode spent its entire running time talking her up and assuring Marinette that she was the right choice, even considering Marinette ridiculous for worrying when Alya had done something without Marinette's permission the episode right before it. Then, three episodes after "Sentibubbler," when Marinette is finally comfortable and trusts Alya completely, Alya betrays that trust. Nino betrayed that trust, knowing he wasn't supposed to do so but telling Adrien his and Rena's identity anyway, because he was losing an argument and needed to PROVE something.

Marinette gives them an inch and they take a mile. Marinette bent the rules so that they could continue to have the miraculous they'd started with and they disrespected her because it was hard for like a day.

And if this bites them back, it won't reflect poorly on them, it'll reflect poorly on Marinette.

It's not like Alya just overrode Marinette. She didn't go, "Hey, I'm telling Nino, I'm sorry," or tried her hardest to go back and forth with Marinette until they both agreed. No, she did what she told Marinette she wouldn't do without saying a word to her, because LOVE and SEEEECRETS.

And this only applies to her, of course, because don't think I didn't notice the parallels between this episode and "Truth," because WOW.

Episode begins with Marinette hoping for something and it blows up in her face? A date at the cinema that ends on a sour note? Plot-centric couple trying to get Andre's ice cream and the female with a secret needing to leave in a hurry? Boyfriend character getting akumatized over their girlfriend's secret? Boyfriend assumes/suggests that the girlfriend's secret involves Aaaaaadrien - or his alter-ego in "Rocketear"'s case - and the episode hints as much to him even though he's completely wrong? Akuma's colors are blue and black? THE BRIDGE?

But, ahhh, little difference, here and there, y'know, like how Marinette was forced to break up with her boyfriend while Alya got to keep hers, and Nino got to have long talks with Alya while Luka got little to nothing with Marinette.

Because do note that Alya, while trying to convince Marinette and talk to Nino about not keeping secrets, at no point suggests that Marinette deserves to be happy and deserves to have a boyfriend and that Marinette should be allowed to tell Luka her secret so they can get back together, so you have Alya here selfishly prioritizing her relationship with Nino while making no comment about Marinette's relationship, essentially asking Marinette to allow her what Marinette herself didn't have the luxury of, and Alya knows this because Marinette told her. It is both incredibly insensitive of Alya and incredibly insulting of the show to make so many parallels between this episode and "Truth" just to have everything crash down for Marinette because she's Marinette while everything goes well for Alya and Nino because they're not Marinette.

We've talked before about the formulas that are literally baked into the show, and one of those is how Marinette makes a mistake in every episode and has to learn from it. What that mistake is in this episode, I don't know, but considering that she apologizes for Alya and Nino's problems, I guess the show blames her for what they themselves had taught her.

Point being, there's a clear karma system in place, but it only applies to Marinette, and forcing her to mess up in every episode means that she is literally not allowed to be with Luka because had she been able to clear things up between them, he would've eagerly accepted her and they could've been happy. It'd be too difficult for her to mess up when Luka doesn't put mountains of pressure and expectations on her like everyone else. Factor that in with how she can be herself around him and it leads to situation that are too difficult for her to screw up in because her mistakes - more often than not - center around Adrien or her role as guardian.

And because another rule in the show is to bring up Adrien so they don't "lose him for too long," she can't avoid bringing him up either. If he's not in the plot, he has to be mentioned, leaving Marinette in a lose-lose situation that she'll never be free from.

So, let me just get this straight then:

The guy who spied on his girlfriend instead of talking to her about his assumptions gets to keep his girlfriend, not because he realized it was wrong regardless of whether he was correct or not, but because the situation had been cleared up for him, yet the guy who actively resisted his akumatization, saddened by his girlfriend's secrets but wanting her to share them when she was ready, gets broken up with and tossed to the wayside because he's not a rich blond boy who got a miraculous because he happened to be within the twenty meters of space where Fu was searching for new holders?

Meanwhile, the girlfriend who has gone against the wishes and insistence of her best friend - guardian of the miraculouses, by the way, so she calls the shots, something that Alya herself said in "Optigami" BEFORE GOING ON TO DO HER OWN THING IN THE SAME EPISODE AND BEING REWARDED FOR IT - is allowed to go against the wishes and insistence of her best friend again for the sake of "all love, no secrets" with her boyfriend and so she can have the happy ending she wants, yet the girl who was chosen for a miraculous without her consent, forced to screw up and talk about a random boy who doesn't even go out of his way to spend time with her, treated like absolute trash by writers who find humor in her misery, and is the only one to receive overly harsh and long-lasting consequences for her actions while also covering up and forgiving the actions of others within the episode where they do it...

doesn't get her happy ending, and won't ever get her happy ending. That thing Shadow Moth said about love and secrets not going well together? Yeah, only goes as far as the writers want it to, because both Nino and Alya still have secrets, and some of the ones they did tell each other were forced by someone else and kept until that very moment. This idea that people in love have to tell each other everything and that it makes a relationship stronger makes me immensely uncomfortable, and that lesson is also in "Guiltrip."

People should be allowed their secrets, and obviously there are exceptions for things that are being hidden with malicious intent, but being essentially forced to share everything or risk not having a "full and complete" relationship is stifling and sounds like it'd only cause stress.

This episode sucks. It furthers and confirms everything I've already thought about the show, Nino's screentime continues to be dependent on Adrien, Alya, or both, there are pointless references that completely take me out of the experience, and the utter betrayal from Alya and supposed message of the episode just reminds me that Marinette is inevitably going to be stuck with a guy who didn't even DO anything in this episode and is going to let himself stew instead of asking for any sort of clarifications from someone he apparently trusts so much.

So the takeaway is that Marinette's life is awful, she'll be forced to apologize for rules that she didn't even come up with herself, her best friend will walk all over her for the sake of her relationship with a guy - not even for the sake, really, they were going to be fine, it was more for HER personal comfort if anything - and the guy who actually makes Marinette happy and could've known her identity instead BECAUSE HE AT LEAST DIDN'T HAVE A TRACK RECORD OF SPILLING HER SECRETS gets treated in the exact same way that she does; like nothing, just something to abuse unfairly.

What a waste of an episode.

[ectonurites]

TIMBER IS ENDGAME!!!

Sorry I’m just excited after reading the new issue of Tim’s solo but they basically confirmed it with this issue and I’m so excited!

okay so three things, sorry in advance if i sound snippy with any/all of this:

1. this was sent at around ~2am in my timezone, when the comic in question was released only like 2 hours earlier. which to me feels… a tad early to start talking in my (or anyone’s) inbox about it without any sort of spoiler/context warning before talking about the issue’s content. especially if i have not already posted about the issue myself, indicating i’ve read it. i know you did not say anything terribly specific here, but like… still. i personally prefer going into new issues completely blind aside from officially released promo stuff (aka im good with seeing solicits and the previews from dc and stuff the artists/writers may post/talk about ahead of time) so getting any other info ahead (even vague stuff) really frustrates me as a general thing. (I know that may seem hypocritical because there are times i’ve discussed/referenced leaks, but trust me when i say i don’t seek them out. sometimes they are thrust upon me because people don’t tag that shit properly, and i still have opinions all the time always, but i make a point of spoiler tagging in those scenarios).

2. in general, the concept of a comic ship (especially one with teen/young adult characters) being ‘endgame’ is just so wildly absurd to me. like without reading the issue i’d guess you’re using the phrase in a more colloquial ‘this ship is going to stick around longterm!’ way, and sure totally i’d believe that sort of thing got indicated, and that’s cool and exciting if it was! but monthly superhero comics are an ongoing medium… i guess i’m getting into semantics here but there can’t really be endgame ships if the ‘game’ never ‘ends’. even an individual book getting cancelled isn’t an actual end when it’s part of a shared universe thus the same characters can pop up elsewhere. and even if its like ‘ahhh look! the future!’ that sort of thing happens in comics every other week and can change so so easily.

3. i have not actually been keeping up to date with Tim’s current solo to begin with. i know that may seem shocking because of the [gestures vaguely to my icon and my blog in general] but it’s because unfortunately the universe had really cruel timing the day TD:R #1 released and due to that i’m still in ‘every new issue coming out just makes me think about how many months it’s been since my uncle died’ mode. so ive been avoiding the book and avoiding discussion about it for the sake of my own mental health right now. someday i’ll get around to it but idk when i’m gonna have enough… distance, I guess, to be able to.

anyways. sorry that that is probably super not the sort of response you were wanting/expecting, pls don’t think im Mad at you individual anon who sent this and i’m glad you’re excited about whatever happened in the book! this just… struck me and my brain at the wrong moment in the wrong ways, i suppose

[theonceoverthinker]

I Choose to Believe in Clover Ebi, and Here’s Eb-Why (Puns before we begin because lbh, we could all use a laugh right about now)

I’m not gonna lie – for us Fair Game fans, things are about as dark as dark gets right now. Between Twitter teases, set ups for upcoming fights, Clover’s ideologies, and a theme song scene still unaccounted for, there is ample reason to fear for our collective future as a ship and how we support the series going forward.

I won’t act like I’m not at least a little scared. My mind is making some REALLY dark theories about what’s to come between the occupants of that transport, theories that make a whole lotta sense given everything we know at this moment, and theories I can’t fully dismiss.

But against that – against everything that might stand in our way – I’m gonna choose to have faith.

“Trust Love” means “Trust Love,” and I’m not about to dishonor that bop of a theme song just yet.

And if you’ll let me, I’d like to inspire you to have faith, too.

So, join me under the cut as I explain why – despite how we’re about to face the longest week of our RWBY loving lives – we should have faith in Clover Ebi.

1. The CRWBY gets that Fair Game is a thing

This point has been made to death and back several times between myself, @skybird13​, @fairgame-is-endgame​, @lady-branwen​, and numerous others, so I won’t waste too much time on it. The CRWBY gets that Fair Game is a romance. They get that we’re invested in this romance, even going so far as to make a legit post on their Twitter page teasing them a few weeks ago! And we know that the CRWBY cares about not doing the “Bury Your Gays” trope. They’re not going to put Clover through that particular meat grinder.

2. As I’ve Stated Before, Clover Being a Traitor does NOTHING for Qrow’s character

I’m actually going to paraphrase myself here from my “Why Clover Isn’t a Traitor” post because I think between my words and @skybird13​‘s referenced words, it remains a strong point in the ensuing argument:

What is having yet another person Qrow trusts and admires turn on him going to do for his character? We’ve seen Qrow fall to depressions in the past in the face of betrayals. We’ve seen him persevere in the face of betrayals. Pray tell, what is the point of showing yet ANOTHER one? It wouldn’t be that big of a deal if we didn’t see these two characters share little moments together in nearly every episode of the season thus far. 

The other Ace Ops? It makes sense. While they’ve been a presence in RWBY’s lives, those two dynamics are horses of different colors compared to the focused, built up dynamic that Qrow and Clover have shared.

Not to mention -- and I will bring this up again, when the Ace Ops bring up the fact that they are not friends, CLOVER IS NOT IN THE SCENE! This is VERY telling because in most every scene Clover and Qrow share, they are about as friendly as friendly gets (Read: Flirty). These viewpoints are diametrically opposed, and the fact that Clover is the only Ace Op separated from a team that makes no illusion of holding down from a fight is incredibly telling.

And hey -- upon reflection after talking with lady-b -- it would make sense for Clover to help stop the Ace Ops (Or at least try to) because the implications of the CRWBY redeeming the one white guy and either killing off or imprisoning the other four POC’s has iffy implications to say the LEAST! While I don’t know for sure if it will happen, I honestly hope he can help them (Granted, the “white savior” trope isn’t much better, but I’ll take the option where the characters I like all stay alive and free if given the choice).

3. Clover’s Promotional Buildup

So I brought this up for the first time in my overview of why Clover wasn’t going to be a traitor, but now it bears repeating: Clover has been given a LOT of promo information for the series. A LOT. A lot more than the other Ace Ops. Honestly, I should just be able to state the fact that Clover is the only Ace Op this far to appear in the official RWBY mobile game Amity Arena, and be able to call it a day, but I wanna dig a bit deeper here, so lets do it!

All of this promo information has been very...Clover positive. 

I’m going to link you again to my first Clover traitor essay for the more in-depth explanations, because the broad strokes matter here more, but I still want it here as a reference.

I’m gonna make this fast -- there were ample amounts of times where this official RT information could’ve shown a darker side to Clover’s good luck as it stood opposed to Qrow’s bad luck, but at every corner, it has been dismissed and instead, made into public celebrations of Clover’s positive aspects. The other Ace Ops haven’t gotten this. While they all got those intro cards, Clover’s was the most detailed, and Clover’s been the most heavily promoted member of the team, and the connotations of those moments have all been positive.

The Twitter response is the strongest argument here, as any conflict between the characters could’ve been brushed off as a “we’ll see,” but was instead directly confirmed as a positive thing. With Amity Arena, to my knowledge, at least, those descriptions don’t change, meaning that at the time it was released, this was the description that the CRWBY (People who plan ahead things a LOT of the time, mind you) deemed as the definitive description of Clover’s character.

And that means something. 

Guys, we’re at a turning point, one we almost thought we avoided only to have it come slam down in our faces.

But this is also the time where we’re going to see what Clover Ebi’s really made of, and for my money, I still have faith that what he’s made up of is some good stuff.

[aspiestvmusings]

JON FAVREAU: ON PAST FILMS & FUTURE PLANS

Here is a recent article/interview with Jon Favreau, where he answers questions regarding directing MCU/Iron Man films, being part of the MCU (directing, acting), directing animated films [his latest “Lion King”*, and about his friend RDJ. 

Is there a character or project that could lure you back to direct for Marvel?

I'm talking to them because I'm very close friends with all of them. It’s been a really interesting experience being involved with Lion King and being involved with Endgame. Because with Lion King we were taking this technology that is only available now and applying it to one of the great myths. At the same time, we see Tony Stark, who starts off as a very flawed character — using technology, by the way, from the first Iron Man to the 23rd film with Thanos. Developing a character over 23 films, supported by Robert Downey's performance, Gwyneth Paltrow's relationship to him and performance, from the first moment you see them onscreen to the last moment you see them together, you develop such an emotional connection to that character. Going from selfishness to selflessness — the perfect model myth — and that paying off over how many hours of film? I feel like I've seen that video game solved perfectly. So to jump back into the big screen right now, by being involved with both of those projects, I went through that journey.

But are you going to continue to appear as an actor?

Oh sure, I love doing that. And I learn because I get to be on other peoples' sets. When I get to see the Russo brothers direct, it's great. When I get to be on Jon Watts' set for Spider-Man, I had more fun in his last Spider-Man than in any movie role I can remember.

You and Downey have been in it since the beginning. Have you talked to him about his post-Marvel life? What is he thinking?

I don't know what he's thinking, but he better direct. Otherwise, I'm not going to be his friend anymore. He's the star of the biggest movie of all time. He did it. So now, you better do stuff you love. Because if you can't do what you love, how are you going to inspire everybody else out there who's climbing that ladder? He has a lot of passion. He's an artist: He understands visual art, he understands music. I think he would be a hell of a director. I hope I get to have a part if he ever decides to direct because I want to show him what it felt like when I was directing him. I want to give him the other side of that equation.

Tell us something about Elon Musk that we don't know.

I met him when I was making Iron Man. He's in Iron Man 2. He let us shoot at SpaceX for free, long before any rockets launched, so [Iron Man 2 villain] Justin Hammer's worksite is SpaceX. He understands how much impact he has on the path to the future. He understands storytelling, whether it's in how he makes presentations or what he gravitates toward. When he wants to explain things, it's often by referencing something that has appeared in fiction. Whether you're making movies or whether you're selling an idea of the future, the best way to demonstrate it for the most people to understand it is through a good fable, a good story. That's why Steve Jobs was a great storyteller. He told you the story of the iPhone, he didn't just give you the iPhone. Remember, the iPhone never had an instruction manual. The flip phone would have never existed had it not been for Star Trek. The engineer who developed that saw it in Star Trek and said, "How can I build this?" After Iron Man, I went down to SpaceX, and if you remember when Robert Downey is designing the Iron Man suit, he sticks his arm into a hologram and moves it around. [Musk] had his people build that 3D printing system based on manipulating holograms because he saw that in the movie.

Source: THR [The Hollywood Reporter]

* Lion King [directed by: Jon Favreau] I have seen it & I loved it. Well done. Plus great visual effects. 

[mastrechef]

Drunk Card Games

Because I obviously have nothing better to do, my brain spawned this monstrosity. More or less a partial transcript of the New Year’s party I went to, but fused with FFXV. Warning: this is complete crack and utterly ridiculous. Read if you dare.

This first section involves the card game The Great Dalmuti. It’s become something of a tradition for my family and our family friends (who are basically just my extended family) to play this and Cards Against Humanity every New Year’s. I don’t really feel like explaining the game, so look it up if you’re interested. I tried to match people to the FFXV character that best fit them. Minimal editing only where I couldn’t remember exactly what someone said.

The Great Dalmuti: Movie Quote Edition

As the Great Dalmuti, Nyx declares that everyone must say a movie quote before they can play any cards. He begins the round.

NYX: Taxation is complete. Excuse me while I whip this out. Two twelves.

CLARUS: The Great Dalmuti has played two twelves! Oh wait, we’re not doing that.

NYX: No, we’re not doing the announcing.

REGIS: Look at me I’m Sandra Dee, lousy with virginity.

CLARUS and NYX break into cackles.

CROWE: And I’ll pass on that.

PELNA: What is it?

REGIS: Two elevens.

AXIS (softly): Two sevens.

NYX (expectantly): And? And? Gotta get a movie quote.

REGIS: Go Deadpool.

MONICA: He sees a movie every week. What’s your favorite movie?

Put on the spot, AXIS clams up. Everyone stage whispers suggestions.

AXIS (settling on a suggested quote): You'll shoot your eye out, kid.

Cheers break out.

REGIS: Christmas Story, that’s a good one.

PELNA: Pass.

NYX: Uh, I didn’t hear a movie quote.

CROWE: He didn’t play.

NYX (laughing): Ohhh! I think I want to hear one anyway! Every time you pass.

He breaks off into loud cackling again. The others join in.

NYX: Just for you.

PELNA: Tell me about it, stud.

More laughter.

IGNIS: We’ll have a magnificent garden party and you’re not invited.

NYX (dramatically placing his hand over his heart): Ouch! I felt that one.

MONICA: That’s a pass.

CLARUS: Sixes? Who has sixes?

CROWE (pointing out helpfully): Ignis does.

NYX: Pass.

Everyone around the circle passes.

CLARUS (for no particular reason): Badges? We don’t need no stinking badges.

People talk over each other as they all get distracted and break off into separate conversations. The new round goes to IGNIS. He pauses a moment in consideration, then begins chuckling to himself.

IGNIS: Tomatoes, sausages, nice crispy bacon.

NYX (through incredulous laughter): What is this movie? I don’t know this one.

IGNIS: That’s from Fellowship of the Ring.

PROMPTO (off to the side recording this for posterity): Yeah! It’s one of our favorites!

NYX: Oh. Really?

CLARUS (nodding knowingly): Hobbits.

IGNIS: At the watchtower, remember? Before Frodo gets stabbed.

NYX: Oh, ok.

CLARUS (off in his own conversation with REGIS): It’s full of stars. (emphatically) That’s a classic!

The game continues.

NYX: Pass.

NOCTIS: Pass.

REGIS (incorrectly quoting): Nice to meet you Miss Uumellmahaye.

NYX cracks up.

REGIS: Man With Two Brains, remember?

Everyone around the circle passes again.

MONICA: I don’t even need a movie quote. I don’t get to play.

CROWE: That’s what I was thinking.

REGIS: I’ve been saving… No, that’s my endgame. (pauses)

CROWE (grumbling): See, I can forget the end point.

REGIS: My end quote’s going to make Clarus laugh. This one is… I’m karate man! I bleed on the inside! Nine.

CROWE: Eight. I’ll be back.

AXIS: Pass.

PELNA: Six. There’s only one guy for me and you are not it.

Uproarious laughter, particularly from CROWE.

NYX: Why do I feel like all these quotes are directed at me?

IGNIS: I tried to start a revolution, but didn’t print enough pamphlets.

More laughter.

REGIS (in falsetto): We’re free!

NYX (affecting a feminine tone): Keep your filthy paws off my silky drawers. One.

REGIS: Oh, somebody wants to play.

NYX: I do wanna play. Uh… three eights.

NOCTIS: You’re not just wrong, you’re stupid.

REGIS cheers as everyone howls with laughter.

REGIS: Three fours!

CROWE (gleeful): That was so appropriate! That was perfect!

IGNIS: I think everyone passes on the three fours.

CROWE (to NOCTIS): Alright, darling.

NOCTIS (placing a card): And my axe.

REGIS: Pi. Ka. Chuuuu!

Random Highlights

-IGNIS: Time to die, obviously.

-CROWE: Glass? Who gives a shit about glass!?

-CLARUS: I’m sorry David, I cannot do--

MONICA: Wait, wait. (scans cards) ...pass.

Gales of laughter.

NYX: She does that to me all the time.

-CLARUS: Somebody get a shitload of nickels!

-CROWE (drawn out): As you wish!

-CROWE: Oh good god, you’re doing it again.

-AXIS: Do you know the muffin man?

REGIS (in a shrill voice): The muffin man!

NYX (also in a shrill voice): No not the gumdrop buttons! 

-IGNIS: I can play, I’m just thinking of a quote.

CLARUS: You’ve got the whole darn movie memorized.

IGNIS: I’m trying not to repeat movies.

CLARUS: Then go to the Two Towers.

CLARUS and REGIS bounce around Lord of the Rings quotes (Fool of a Took!, Po.Ta.Toes, They have a cave troll).

IGNIS: The salted pork is particularly good.

-CLARUS: I know what he has. My problem is--

NYX: What do you mean you know what I have!?

CLARUS: I GAVE IT TO YOU!

NYX: Oh! You remember that shit?

CLARUS: Of course! They were my best cards!

-NOCTIS: Help, I’ve been impaled.

-CLARUS: I knew it. Sharks.

REGIS: Ohhh, nice.

CLARUS: I’m out! I don’t think he actually said that in the movie, but, you know. I’m NOT closing the beach! This is not a boating accident. He did say that in the movie.

REGIS: Yes.

CLARUS:You and I quote a lot of things from that movie that weren’t in that movie.

-REGIS: (unintelligible gurgling) Five.

NYX: Was that from--

REGIS: Chewbacca!

CROWE: That was every Chewbacca line.

-PELNA: I’m serious and don’t call me Shirley.

-IGNIS: Laugh it up, fuzzball.

Bonus: Song Lyric Edition

-NOCTIS: His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy, there's vomit on his sweater already, mom's spaghetti.

REGIS (confused): Mom’s spaghetti? What kind of song is that?

IGNIS (pushing his glasses up): I believe it is one of the early works of the rapper Eminem.

-Someone starts singing Conjunction Junction. Everyone but NOCTIS and PROMPTO join in.

EVERYONE: Conjunction junction, what’s your function? Hookin’ up words, and phrases and clauses.

REGIS (chuckling): Noctis wouldn’t know this one.

-REGIS (singing): I’m just a sweet transvestite~

IGNIS joins in enthusiastically.

Cards Against Humanity

-Literally every time Noctis reads something the slightest bit dirty

REGIS (mock glaring): Who made my son say that!?

-CROWE: (reading cards unintelligibly while laughing)

NYX: Wait, wait. Can you read that again? I don’t think I heard it the first time.

CROWE (somewhat composed until breaking into giggles again): When all else fails, I can always masturbate to slowly easing down on a cucumber.

-CROWE: Live like you’re a dance move that’s just sex. Live like you’re my boyfriend’s stupid penis.

Profuse giggling.

NYX (referring back to an earlier conversation about wifely duties): Oh, really. Does he help with the house work?

CROWE: Oh, my goodness, none of these are good, they all suck.

CLARUS: No they don’t, mine’s great! 

REGIS: But obvio--

CLARUS: Mine is awesome!

REGIS: --usly mine’s the best. Obviously mine is the best. Out of all of the ones that suck--

CLARUS: Only mine made sense.

REGIS: --mine sucked the least.

CROWE mumbles a bit to herself.

CROWE (declaring): A dance move that’s just sex.

NYX (excited): That’s me! How is that possible?

REGIS: How could overthrowing the government of Niflheim not be your answer?

CLARUS (disgruntled): Boyfriend’s stupid penis.

-IGNIS: Okay, I’m going to read the card now. (clears throat) In the distant future, historians will agree that the thin veneer of situational (stumbles) causality that underlies porn marked the beginning of Lucis’ decline.

NYX: That’s…

REGIS: That’s a big card.

CLARUS (referencing an earlier joke): Hey, the pizza guy’s here!

CROWE: Wow, that’s a lot of words.

CLARUS: But it’s funny.

REGIS: Yeah, it is.

IGNIS: In the distant future, historians will agree that Judge Judy marked the beginning of Lucis’ decline. Well I guess Lucis declined a long time ago.

CROWE: Judge Judy’s been around a looong time.

IGNIS: In the distant future, historians will agree that eating an albino marked the beginning of Lucis’ decline.

MONICA: In Niflheim, they think they’re magical. They take off pieces of them. They have to hide their albino children or people will like, amputate their arms and legs and stuff.

REGIS: Wow.

NYX (surprised): I was not aware of that.

REGIS: Monica’s been reading a lot of National Geographic lately.

NYX: Turn off Youtube on Monica.

A lot of talking over each other.

NYX: If I were an albino, would you eat me?

IGNIS: I really like this one.

Everybody shushes each other.

IGNIS: In the distant future, historians will agree that switching to Geico marked the beginning of Lucis’ decline.

Explosive laughter.

NYX: That is good. That is good.

CROWE (laughing uncontrollably): Switching to Geico, is that what you said?

IGNIS (confirming): Switching to Geico.

NYX: Switching to Geico. Yes that’s great.

IGNIS: We started declining a long time ago, then.

NYX: It all started with a switch to Geico.

REGIS (out of nowhere): Aflack!

IGNIS: In the distant future, historians will agree that daddy’s belt marked the beginning of Lucis’ decline.

CLARUS: No, no, we go back even further.

REGIS and CLARUS randomly break out into song. NYX joins in. CROWE admonishes them.

NYX: I’m sorry, we’re distracting.

IGNIS: In the distant future, historians will agree that my worthless son marked the beginning of Lucis’ decline.

NYX: Oh, ouch.

IGNIS: In the future, historians will agree that vigorous jazz hands--

Everyone throws out their hands.

CROWE: Jazz hands!

NYX: Jazz hands!

IGNIS (snickering): --marked the beginning of Lucis’ decline.

REGIS (contemplating): It could be.

MONICA: Like this.

CROWE (softer): Jazz hands!

REGIS: It’s like a fast royal wave.

IGNIS: Like Jack from uh… like Will and Grace. (throws out hands) Jazz hands.

MONICA: But you’ve gotta wave ‘em. (demonstrates)

IGNIS: In the distant future, historians will agree that the power of the dark side marked the beginning of Lucis’ decline.

Everyone groans.

IGNIS: I mean, if they watch this most recent movie then maybeee…

NYX (laughing): Oh, the most recent movie.

IGNIS: Then maybe.

REGIS (in the background): Suffer, suffer, suffer, the dark side.

IGNIS: In the distant future, historians will agree that getting hilariously gangbanged by the Blue Man Group will mark the beginning of Lucis’ de-decline.

CROWE: You can’t even read it.

IGNIS: No, it’s switching to Geico.

CROWE (triumphantly): Mine!

CLARUS: Noooo!

[multimetaverse]

Andi Mack 2x23 Review

I was shocked at how pivotal Keep a Lid on It turned out to be! J*rus sunk and Juffy rose and a lot of other interesting stuff. Let’s dig into it.

Positives:

Cyrus’ crush on Jonah was always going to end with him either moving on or getting turned down by straight boy Jonah and I’m glad they went with the former. It gives Cyrus more control over his own life and shows great character growth. He no longer idolizes Jonah but cherishes their close friendship.

I thought J*rus would end closer to the end of the season but in retrospect it’s clear that the show had to sink the ship sooner rather than later. It’s been 10 eps since their last solo scene and they’ve only had solo scenes in 6 out of 23 eps so far (including the space otters dinner in what was 1x13). Terri talks a big game about the importance of momentum and it’s clear that Cyrus’ story line was being stalled until his crush on Jonah ended. 

I noted last week that the show was reaching back to S1 with Cyrus in the vest and we also got Jonah calling Cyrus, Cy-Guy for the first time since S1 I believe as well as a callback to their hug at the space otters dinner.. It’s a very deliberate choice and allows the audience to see the growth and change in their relationship, Cyrus no longer worships Jonah and Jonah has largely dropped his smiley perfect image.

I know some people are still clinging to hope but guys J*rus is over. It was never going to happen, not on this show and not on this network. Hell Terri probably never even asked Disney if Jonah could be bi because she probably never intended him to be bi. Cyrus’ crush was always just a plot device to discover his sexuality. And if you don’t want to listen to the show, listen to Josh, he’s very bluntly told us that J*rus is a dead ship. Take time to heal and then hop aboard Cyrus’ real romantic ship: Tyrus.

I felt a sense of vindication as Juffy rose, I got a lot of scorn for predicting after the 2b promo that Jonah was going to be Buffy’s crush. And so many people told me that the yearbook wasn’t connected to the crush or that she didn’t actually have a crush or that her crush was on some irrelevant extra. But here we are and Juffy is thriving.

I had a moment of doubt last week after learning that Jandi survives past the art show but after seeing 2x23 I’m confident that Juffy is endgame. And yes I’ve seen the extended 2x24 promo and I don’t think that her crush is on Walker. Will she talk to Walker? Almost certainly but Jonah will also be there and I’m sure she’ll talk to him too. I have other reasons why I don’t think Wuffy is in the cards but first I want to talk more about Juffy in this episode.

I’ve been beating the drumbeat about Buffy’s impending crush since 2x15 and until tonight I thought it would be a disaster but I actually think that Juffy will work very well. Buffy knows exactly how to communicate directly with Jonah, something Andi never was able to. It also makes for a neat parallel with 2x22 where Tyrus communicated well while Jandi struggled as usual. And in this ep we also get to see Ham and Celia not communicating well.

When Jonah came over and he and Buffy had their  brief banter it immediately reminded me of that easy chemistry Muffy had. Obviously the show never planned for Juffy but they lucked out big time that the actors have great chemistry. It can’t be ignored how touched Buffy is that Jonah thought of the unburied time capsule and went to such lengths to get her jersey and get the whole team to sign the ball.

And who do they bring up right after talking about Jonah? Marty, Buffy’s old flame. Buffy and the audience get a final bit of closure and it helpfully reminds us that Buffy was sure that she didn’t have a crush on Marty but later this ep she is very sure that she now has a crush on someone. And when she tells Cyrus she has a crush she specifically mentions that it’s new.

Let’s assume for a moment that her crush actually is on Walker. Why would she not want Andi to know? Andi already kissed Jonah and chose him before she moved away. Sure it might be a little awkward at first but Jandi is now official and Andi only went on the one date with Walker so it’s not like she has any claim on him. Jandi, Tyrus, and Wuffy would be neat and tidy but where’s the drama, the angst, the passion? And why would she say that nothing is going to happen? As far as she knows Walker is single, there’s nothing stopping a confident driven woman like Buffy from pursuing Walker if she has a crush on him.

Andi Mack is a tween soap opera and it relies on its twists and turns. I just can’t see what pairing Buffy would Walker would achieve. They’ve had one scene together and they barely talked. Sure the portrait was nice but what kind of connection do they have? And why would Buffy suddenly develop a crush on Walker after learning about the nice things Jonah did for her? And if Wuffy happens that means that Jandi and Tyrus are endgame so why is there a need to pair Buffy with someone? Darius is great but wouldn’t it be easier and cheaper for the show to write him off and just have Buffy stay single?

Which brings me to the big structural reason why I believe Juffy is endgame. Buffy having a crush was a late addition to S2 only because Marty left. If Marty stays then Muffy would have been endgame but with him gone Buffy doesn’t have a partner. Cyrus was always going to end up with TJ so he’s taken care of which just leaves Andi and Jonah. Given how linked Jandi and J*rus have been since the very beginning I think J*rus sinking means that Jandi is doomed soon, even if they make it out of S2 still together. And of course Cyrus has the swing scenes with his endgame partner TJ just two eps before Andi meets her endgame partner Walker.

I think Terri’s original plan was for Muffy, Tyrus, and Wandi to be endgame while Jonah remained single in S3. This would have been a great twist, sinking the two original ships of the show and removing Jonah, who was explicitly introduced as a love interest, from the dating pool. This leaves 3/4ths of the kids in relationships which the show can mine for drama. But once Marty left, Buffy was left without and partner and suddenly you have half of the kids left single which is difficult for a tween oriented show to pull off. And of course Asher’s star has risen dramatically since S1 and Disney almost certainly wants their hottest star to remain a love interest.

Terri has spoken very negatively about Jandi in the past and I can’t imagine her making them endgame unless Disney forced her too. But paring Buffy with Jonah solves those problems: Terri still gets her big twist, half of the kids wont be left without partners, and Disney still gets to market Asher as a romantic lead. Whereas if Jandi is endgame there’s no need to give Buffy a crush as 3/4th’s of the kids will still have partners.

We don’t know when the writers knew for sure that Marty was never coming back but it must have been by the writing of ep 2x21 by the latest as that’s when they wrote that farewell letter from Marty. Not coincidentally it’s also the ep where we get Jonah’s ‘’Buffy likes me doesn’t she?’’ line and we see him spring into action and get Buffy the perfect gift, something he’s never been able to do for Andi.

And Jonah has had foreshadowy lines like that before. In 2x18 he asks if TJ are Cyrus are friends and later that same ep he asks if Bex and Bowie are getting married. We know that Cyrus and TJ will be more than friends and we know that Bex and Bowie will get married so why not Buffy having a crush on Jonah?

We also got Buffy referencing arm wrestling with Jonah which led to their only significant solo interaction back in A Good Hair Day. It reminded me of when Cyrus referenced meeting TJ at the swings when he and Buffy were comforting Jonah in 2x19. The show wanted us to think about the swing scene and what it meant and the show now wants us to think about the arm wrestling scene and what it meant. Juffy at least has some foundation but there’s nothing to support Wuffy.

My guess is that we’ll either get a half assed denial from Buffy next ep that she doesn’t like Jonah or it won’t be brought up directly but Cyrus will keep needling her. And Cyrus knows very well what having a crush on Jonah is like and would understand why Buffy doesn’t believe anything will happen or why she doesn’t want Andi to know. Next ep is also where we’ll get Buffy’s ‘’you two look so cute’’ line delivered to Jandi at the spoon. What did Cyrus do once he realized he liked Jonah? Hid it and became the world’s no 1 Jandi shipper. Perhaps we’ll see Buffy do the same.

One last reason I believe Jandi is doomed is because Andi didn’t make a new bracelet she took the old one from her memory box (ie from S1). But just like Cyrus’ vest wasn’t a magic totem neither will the bracelet be the totem that solves Jandi’s problems. 

I also thought it was a subtle nod to digging up the past and a little hint that we’ll be seeing Gabriel return from Bex’s past (and memory box) in the season finale.

I’m so glad that they didn’t mention the stupid 2 months timeskip. Someone must have realized what a disaster that would be.  And the excuse for Buffy moving back was a lot better than i thought it would be.

I wonder how Cyrus will come out in the future. He can’t say he has a crush on Jonah anymore but he at least has the swing that way reference to use with Tj, or TJ with him.

Negatives:

Not going to sugarcoat this; we just saw Ham have a midlife crisis and effectively decide to end his marriage and abandon his family. Of course he’ll be back and the show will pretend all is well but no man in his mid 50′s leaves his wife and family to go on a months long solo trip unless his marriage has collapsed. A lot of kids will be turning to their parents tonight asking if Ham leaving means he and Celia will be getting a divorce.

One thing I’ve been wondering all season is why haven’t we seen Cyrus in his vest friend shirt? At this point I think Disney forbade it because it would look too coupley. 

[aion-rsa]

Loki Pays Tribute to One of The Most Ridiculous Moments in Marvel History

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

This article contains Loki episode 5 spoilers.

Lots of major superheroes and supervillains have those moments that they just can’t live down. Those obscure situations that are always brought up for a laugh. There’s Batman’s inability to get rid of a bomb or his exclamation of, “WHY DID YOU SAY THAT NAME?!” Spider-Man’s time on Broadway is a joke that will never stop being funny. Captain America once got sad because a reporter yelled at him for not having a MySpace page. Superman once shook hands with Jared from Subway. Deadpool was a mouthless Baraka that one time. Magneto was once tricked by a wooden gun and was so broken up about it that he forgot he had powers.

Yes, stupid stuff happens a lot with comic properties and Thanos is no different. The fifth episode of Loki, “Journey Into Mystery,” played into that by referencing one of his earliest and silliest comic moments. As Loki and his various counterparts wandered through the Void – a junkyard-like version of Earth at the end of time, littered with discarded pieces of pruned alternate realities – they passed by a helicopter with “THANOS” on the side of it.

The Thanos Copter is Real

That’s right. Of all the deep cuts, the Marvel Cinematic Universe has chosen to remind the world of the Thanos Copter.

So what is the Thanos Copter? Our legend begins in 1979. Spider-Man had his own comic for the very young crowd called Spidey Super Stories. Issue #39 featured a story involving then-recently-created villain Thanos trying to hunt down the Cat and reclaim the Cosmic Cube so he could rule the world. We’re so used to seeing Thanos as the be-all/end-all of supervillainy that it’s hilarious to read this early, all-ages piece and see him lose like a doofus and get led away in handcuffs by the local police.

What makes this story so memorable is that in three panels, Thanos flies around in a run-of-the-mill helicopter with his name on the side. It’s not even futuristic or alien in any way. It’s such a bizarre concept that it’s stayed with readers for decades. Thanos, scourge of the cosmos and once ruler of all time and space…just flying through New York City in a branded helicopter.

The Legacy of the Thanos Copter

Over the last several years, the Thanos Copter has made its presence known here and there in interesting ways. For instance, Deadpool #45 featured a backup story about Deadpool stealing the Infinity Gauntlet from Thanos and using it to host his own superhero roast to make some big meta point about how painful and empty Wade’s life truly is. ANYWAY, Thanos’ appearance in the story included him flying around in the Thanos Copter because of course.

Then there’s Infinity Wars: Fallen Guardian. Thanks to the Infinity Gauntlet, Drax the Destroyer has been split into two forms: his green humanoid self and his pre-origin self Arthur Douglas. Arthur has his mind wiped and gets to live a normal life, but he still has weird dreams. Dreams of his family being attacked by a purple alien in a helicopter.

The video game LEGO Marvel’s Avengers allowed you to fly the stupid thing. Hell, Marvel even officially released it physically in different forms, from a Hot Wheels model, to a remote control toy, to a Heroclix figure.

Of course, it gets referenced by internet culture all the time. When Death Battle did an episode of Thanos vs. Darkseid, their rocking, animated throwdown included a cameo appearance by the Titan’s vehicle. Epic Rap Battles of History did an installment with Thanos battle rapping J. Robert Oppenheimer, which included the lyric, “Got my name on this win like it’s the Thanos Copter!”

This technically isn’t even the first time the Thanos Copter has been referenced in the MCU. In Avengers: Endgame, Thanos wields a giant two-sided blade that he occasionally spins around. Fans feel that its resemblance to a helicopter is just a sly wink and nod to that one silly issue of Spidey Super Stories that everyone refuses to forget, reimagining something goofy into something totally badass.

I wonder if Loki will take any more inspiration from Spidey Super Stories panels. Hm…

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

Guys, I think I know where they’re going with the finale!

The post Loki Pays Tribute to One of The Most Ridiculous Moments in Marvel History appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/2TDfFLL

[tren-fraszka]

Parallels 2018 letter

Dear creator,

Thank you for taking your time to check my requests. I know my requests can sound a bit tricky, but please don’t be discouraged. I wish you will have good time writing first and foremost!

I like humor and tropes, which is probably the only thing you really need to know about my general likes.

I’m very picky about sex tropes, so generally I would be grateful for no graphic sex (unless specified otherwise). Also, if you go for a shippy fic, I don’t want any stuff happening without consent. I like consent a lot. Other dislikes include ABO, mpreg, soulmates, and situations where stuff is happening because destiny said so and nobody questions it.

Also, I included what ships I’m okay with in each fandom. Please do not include any ships that aren’t canon or I have not mentioned in those sections.

REQUESTS

FATE/APOCRYPHA

While I will be first person to admit that this series really could have had a better plot I loved the characters and would enjoy seeing more of them.

Mordred | Saber of Red (Fate/Apocrypha)

I love angry girls with gender issues, so I knew I would love Mordred and boy do I. There’s just something refreshing in seeing characters like her having a healthy amount of anger at the bullshit the world throws at her.

I really enjoyed her interactions with Shishigou, but I wouldn’t be opposed to seeing her interact with other cast members. Her specific circumstances make her a good foil for a lot of characters.

Additional info

I would be very okay with AUs, both Plot Divergences and complete setting changes, since as I mentioned I’m not overly attached to Apocrypha’s plot. So feel free to play with the idea of Mordred being Shishigo’s actual adopted daughter in a modern AU or some interesting what if scenario. Maybe Mordred getting her wish upon the grail, only to discover how terrible the life of a king is.

I’m okay with pretty much any pairing except Sieg/Jeanne (but if you went for an AU where Jeanne and Leticia are not sharing the body I would be pretty okay with Sieg/Leticia). Also, no shipping Shishigou and Mordred, because I much prefer them as a found family. 

Out of things I actually do ship I have a very soft spot for Shirou/Semiramis.

TALES OF BERSERIA

I played Zestiria, so you are free to throw some references to it if you want.

You don’t have to include all the characters I requested, please feel free to concentrate on just one of them.

Eleanor Hume

I really like how much Eleanor changes during the course of the game. And how sincerely she approaches everything. It’s refreshing to see a character who is willing to judge things on her own. Sure, she’s slightly stubborn at first, but Eleanor had really grown on me over the course of the game.

I would probably be happiest with a fic that tracks just how much her attitude changed. It can be about her general attitude or about her relation with someone else in the party. I’m not picky. I just want to see Eleanor discovering that the world is bigger and much less black and white than she thought. But at the same time, even if there are cruelties she was not aware of, there is also kindness she had not seen before.

For some other random ideas: Eleanor helps Laphicet make a present for Velvet (or they outright collaborate on it), or Eleanor has a moment when she realizes just how much the whole party grew on her and how much she enjoys being with them..

Rokurou Rangetsu

I would love any look at Rokuro’s life. I love how it is slowly revealed that he was a very terrible human being, that it is no wonder that he turned into a deamon as a result. The pre-canon look at his life in Rangetsu family and how he turned into a daemon would be great (bonus points for including his mom if you decide on this). As would be his perspective on canon events with some more interactions with any party members. Or post-canon and Rokuro’s journey in search of stronger and stronger foes, during which he meets lots of colorful foes.

Velvet Crowe

Velvet Crowe is one of the most enjoyable Tales protagonist I have witnessed yet. She’s a complicated mess of emotions and trauma, barely held together by her drive for vengeance. Seeing her struggle with all the tragedy, while desperately pushing forward, and waiting to see whether she cracks under the pressure of it all or not was much more interesting than standard Tales hero journey.

I would enjoy an introspective piece for her, since she hides so much of her emotions. That being said, Velvet interacting with other party members is fun too! Whether it be her being demonic bros with Rokuro, butting heads with Eleanor or not having patience for Magilou’s antics, Velvet has an interesting relationship with all of them and I would be happy to see any of those connections explored.

Additional info

I would be pretty okay with the AUs, both Canon Divergence and setting changes. In case of canon divergence, please, just don’t save Velvet with deus ex machina. I’m not opposed to her being saved, but please build that plotline properly. The game sets her demise very strongly throughout the whole game and I need to be properly convinced that there is a chance for her to live through this without becoming a miserable malevolence factory. This is not a problem in different setting AUs.

As for the ships. I do ship Elanor and Velvet, so if that’s you jam I would be happy to see them getting together or just enjoying being together. They have very interesting dynamics throughout the game and I would love to see some more romance in it. I would also be okay with more risque content for this ship.

TALES OF XILLIA

Who loves Tales series more with each new game they play, this gal over here. Also, I’m currently playing Xillia 2 and while I’ve gone through most of the game, I may not be able to finish it before this exchange ends due to the real world responsibilities. So while referencing Xillia 2 would be okay with me, please avoid endgame spoilers for it.

As previously you don’t have to include all of the requested characters.

Jude Mathis

Jude is one of my favourite protagonist for being just plain relatable. I love how he develops through the story and how much his issues rule over his decision before he gets his act together.

I would really love a look at Jude’s life before the game. I find his relationship with his parents very interesting and would love to see it explored more deeply. How did he go about applying to Talim and how his parents reacted? What about Leia? How did Jude manage in Talim?

I’m also very okay with a more indepth look at his journey. What were his feelings at the beginning? How did he feel revisiting his hometown and having to face his parents to be able to help Milla? Any and all snippets from this time are fine by me.

Elize Lutus

The best child character in video games I’ve seen in a long time. I would love to see more of her adventures and how she learns to open up to other people.

I probably would love a post-canon story the most with Elize trying to fit into a normal school. I would love to get a glimps at her attempts to make new friends and not appear to be too weird. I would especially love if Elize and her friends ended up getting into some sort of trouble. Maybe they decided to investigate some rumours and run into a monster or bandits and Elize saves the day with things she learned while travelling with the team. Bonus points if the knowledge from her travels is very questionable.

Just like with Jude, I would also be very open to some insights into her feelings during the plot of the game. Especially, how she slowly starts opening up to others after joining the party.

Additional info

I’m okay with AUs, both canon divergence and setting changes. Given that Xillia 2 enables any and all divergences you really, really shouldn’t hold back in that regard. On that note I would be very partial to any member of Chimeriad surviving, because they all deserved better. For setting changes I don’t have any specific.

I’m okay with ships: Jude/Alvin, Jude/Milla, an OT3 involving all of them, Leia/Agria and Gaius/Wingul.

FATE/EXTELLA

I will be honest. I have a lot of complaints about the characterization of some of the characters and the plot of this game, it gave me one thing I really love and damn do I want it.

Jeanne d'arc | Ruler (Fate/Extella) & Gilgamesh (Fate/Extella)

The interactions between Jeanne and Gilgamesh gave me life, watered my crops and made me laugh a lot. Those two get along in that they reinterpret each other’s words completely whenever they interact. It’s incredible.

I love the grudging respect they have for each other, because while they both heavily don’t approve of each other’s worldview and lifestyles, they can’t dismiss the will and dedication the other has.

Additional info

I’m okay with AUs and canon divergences. The subscenarios for both of them were painfully short in the game, so I would definitely be up if you expanded on them or just had some wacky adventures involving both of them. Just please don’t include Titan!Altera, Charlot!Tamamo or Elizabeth acting like she did in that game. I still have trauma from their characterization. Servant!Altera, and Elizabeth&Tamamo with characterization from Extra or Grand Order will be very okay. If you really need one of those characters with the characterization from this game, then I understand, but please, don’t linger on the scene where that happens. Just get it done quickly.

As I said, I’m not a big fan of Extella’s plot, so if you want to throw it all away and just have fun with the characters I will definitely approve. Gilgamesh and Jeanne meeting during a Grail War could be interesting. As well as, some Grand Order shenanigans if you played that game.

If you want to just have fun with their characters without the whole Servant stuff then, I’m also very open to it. The idea of Jeanne and Gilgamesh as childhood friends who are now forced to share a flat as students is an idea that I absolutely love, because they would find those arrangements very challenging and definitely have a lot of complaints about each others’ lifestyles.

I will limit myself to the ships involving the people I requested, which means absolutely no ships for Jeanne. For Gilgamesh I’m okay with shipping him with both Enkidu and Kirei, but well, we all know how he is, so feel free to have him sleeping around if it fits your fic.

MAHOU SHOUJO ORE

Yamo Konami

I found Konami’s misadventures very amusing. I love how completely mismatched his position and goals are. I would love to see more of his shenanigans, whether it be him making terrible management decision during the canon or him “repenting” after the canon. Maybe he attempts to become a mascot, because what better way is there to express his passion for magical girls? I also wouldn’t mind a pre-canon look on how he came to love magical girls as much as does.

All ships are crazy in this series so I’m okay with whatever direction you want to spin them, as long as you acknowledge the canon crushes the characters have. By which I mean, if the character has a canon crush make sure to do some build up so that it doesn’t feel strange if they find a new object of affection.

[sobdasha]

i got caught up with this not because i did better but because i’ve had no time/watched some tv

War for the Oaks, Emma Bull I began reading this book at the same time as The Innkeeper's Song, listed below. I started out dragging my feet on this one and racing through TIS. But one book got progressively more amazing while the other book got progressively less impressive and my better book is this one. This was the roomie's first brush with urban fantasy, and one of her friends got her a second-hand first edition paperback, and so she talked about it a lot until I finally picked it up and she said "Uh but also I haven't read it in forever so I uh. Don't know how it holds up." (She rightly fears me because as you will have noticed I am a Very Particular Reader.) Reasons I disliked this book at first: - fashion choices that scream "1980s" and fashion choices that scream "lesbian" are incredibly similar and guess which of the two I am not getting, seeing as this was published in 1987. - Eddie is breaking up with her garbage boyfriend which is good but she has an incredible amount of chemistry with Carla which is disheartening given that I know I won't get sapphics and Eddie will end up dating some other boy with whom there is no chemistry. - This is a book about rock-n-roll bands I don't know any of these songs (okay I might know these songs but I don't know artists or titles so I may as well not know any of these songs) it's kinda wasted on me. - oh boy I'm so excited to watch her and the phouka fight like Kagome and Inuyasha or any other pair with this dynamic yaaaaay /sarcasm Reasons this came to be a Good Read: - Everyone dresses so goddamn queer in this book that you know what, everyone except that jerkass Stuart is queer. He's garbage so he can be straight or whatever. It's my reading experience I do what I want. There's no way these people aren't bi. Also it's canon because everyone takes one look at the phouka and assumes he's gay. …………………………with slurs but still. - Good supporting cast. - I both failed to give the phouka a deep voice and also to sustain a Stereotypical Gay voice (which, the dialogue will totally 100% support), but I did accidentally voice him with Tatum's dub of Tomoe from Kamisama Kiss which was completely appropriate in the "vaguely gay vaguely British unambiguously prissy" department, and also entertaining because it reminded me of the dynamics in that anime but, y'know, better. - I almost gave up when the romance hit hardcore but it turned out later that was actually a fake-out that was meant to be garbage and set us up for the endgame much later, by which point Eddie and the phouka actually had the same level of chemistry as Eddie and Carla, so I could actively enjoy the ship. A win! Anyway it was fun. It may not have aged the best in the sense that it strove to be accurate to time and place (see: homophobic slurs), but the character dynamics held up pretty dang well. I would definitely read this again and enjoy myself; in fact I plan to.

The Innkeeper's Song, Peter S. Beagle I was very excited to read this because I was so blown away by The Last Unicorn but the more I read the more disappointed I got. Half the time I feel like that weeb who is like "hello I only like your fanfic you wrote when you were 13 and high on pixie stixs, all your stuff now sucks", and half the time I tell myself, "Maybe there is a reason I've only ever heard of The Last Unicorn and had no idea he'd actually written other books." As you have probably picked up by now, I have a knee-jerk dislike of first person PoV where it must prove itself worthy to me first, despite the fact that I like plenty of things written in first person. I also have a knee-jerk dislike of "I will change the narrator every chapter and announce loudly who it is instead of doing it subtly but unmistakably in the content of the text itself." This book had both. Despite all my harsh judgment, it would be incorrect of me to say that this writing choice is not valid. That this writing choice cannot be used to amazing effect. I do not believe that is what happened here. I did not feel it was adding much to the story to begin with (other than being the shortest and straightest path to advancing a narrative with many fronts), and I was definitely unimpressed when we got to the string of chapters, all of them less than a page and some no more than a paragraph, during the orgy scene where the 3 women have sex with 1 teen boy who's been thirsting after them, and they pay him a lot of worshipful attention in the orgy even though none of them actually like him, and also this is when we reveal one of the women is a man in disguise in the most confusing way possible so my cringe got even deeper as I waited for Beagle to fuck up a trans storyline. (It was literally just "I'm on the run so I'm magically dressing as a girl" but it took a really long time to clarify that after.) In addition to not liking the narrative structure, I just wasn't interested or invested in the actual plot. It didn't feel very urgent or important and at the end I was like "what even happened and also why did it happen." I was underwhelmed. I was definitely the wrong audience for this book. Oh also because I was not enjoying myself I started to get really irrationally annoyed by the way fantasy fauna and flora would have fantasy names and they would be italicized. In a first person PoV. Where the narrator is literally speaking the language that this word is native to. It half felt pretentious, and half highlighted what felt like a loose thread: everyone is literally narrating to someone (presumably collecting the story, after everyone has gone their separate ways) and this has all been woven together into a proper narrative, but our story collector is absent despite addresses to such a person. What purpose does this serve? Does it make it more ~authentic~ fantasy? Because I don't buy it. Now my suspension of disbelief is snapped; I'd have preferred it was either left out entirely, or made into a brilliant framing device like in The Name of the Wind.

Giant Bones, Peter S. Beagle This one was short stories "set in the same universe as The Innkeeper's Song", which basically meant some city names were reused, as well as all those italicized fantasy names and the "I am narrating my story to an audience in-story" frame. You know, all the things I didn't particularly care for. I pressed on to see if there was anything I might like, but since I can't remember, I assume there wasn't. Because this left me wanting, and the title was Giant Bones, I went to reread Conservation of Shadows by Lee instead, starting with "The Bones of Giants," which was greatly preferable, so much more my speed. That's when I did the write-up for the last round of books lol.

Nimona, Noelle Stevenson This has been on my list for Forever but I'm bad at reading new books. Anyway! Nimona was very good!! It felt, hm, very self-indulgent in the way that is amazing, where the creator gives themself whatever they want and the work turns out brilliantly because of it. I didn't think I was into friends to enemies to lovers but apparently I love it wen Stevenson handles it (see: She Ra reboot). Speaking of She Ra, I probably would have figured out where the end game was going if I'd read Nimona before looool. I know people referenced it when they talked ships but I just….didn't...pay enough attention. There was found family stuff I enjoyed, dad stuff, I'm finding that I am liking a lot of takes on monster girls, etc. Anyway it gave me a lot of feelings, it was funny, it was good, I need to get a copy.

The Dragon Pearl, Yoon Ha Lee The first time I talked about this book I mentioned something about the pacing and suspending disbelief or whatever, but I want to note that this time the pacing felt perfect and the plot didn't seem weird at all, it flowed very smoothly. I don't know if that's because it was a reread and I knew where it was going, or because I just read it awkwardly the first time. Anyway. Something that stood out to me this time is that, near the end, I realized this story is a bit animated Disney Mulan. There's even the "you broke this you broke that you impersonated a soldier but also you saved China so thanks" bit. Where The Dragon Pearl is wildly different from other Mulan-type stories that I like (see: Monstrous Regiment) is that it is entirely ungendered. (There are some mentions of gender in the book. These amount mostly to, "most foxes choose to be female because Tradition but one of my cousins decided to be male like my brother and no one mocks him for it" and "official name tags also include handy signifiers of which personal pronouns a person prefers.") What I'm trying to say is, a lot of other stuff when dealing with/trying to deconstruct gender stereotyping, ends up reinforcing it in a way. In order to illustrate why the stereotypes are wrong, they end up repeating the stereotypes a lot in order to argue against them. The Dragon Pearl, on the other hand, is genderless in a way that doesn't reinforce the gender binary. There are no gendered clothes. There are no gendered bathrooms. There are no gendered hairstyles or accessories. There are no gendered actions or emotions or stereotypes. There are no gendered bodies (the differences highlighted between Min and Jang-who-she's-shapeshifting-into are of build ie, height, center of gravity, not of private bits). No plot points revolve around the maleness of the person Min is impersonating; no plot points revolve around the femaleness of Min. And they/them? It's never explained why any person uses that pronoun. They just do so that's just how it is. I just think this is amazingly neat and I wanna applaud Lee for this finesse.

The Gentleman's Guide to Vice and Virtue, Mackenzi Lee I put this on my list because Queer and people were recommending it, but it was not well-advertized to me. I was expecting shallow teen romance, but dressed in historical clothes and unsubtly, unabashedly, unashamedly GAY. So I was expecting some gay. I was not expecting gay pining I actually enjoyed, I was not expecting call-outs for privilege of wealth and class and sex and color, I was not expecting the drama of the romance to not be stupidly fabricated misunderstandings but instead be driven by the need for character development and personal growth, I had forgotten I was expecting people of color, people with disabilities, badass women, I was not expecting a nuanced call-out of ableism ("I don't believe I need to be well to be happy", etc). I was not expecting a reversal of gender stereotypes that avoided saying "X gender is bad." Like, Monty is the team weakest link. Monty faints at the sight of blood. Monty is romantic and emotional and swoons at the slightest provocation. Monty uses his wiles to seduce people, that's the main skill he actually brings to the party. Monty cries. Aside from probably Monty's asshole dad who hates him for being gay, no one else nor the narrative calls these traits out as being Feminine (And Therefore Bad). Like, haha, We All Know These Are All Stereotypes Of Women At The Time, but no one says it. I find there's something really nice about no one saying it. Meanwhile, Percy and Felicity are competent and cool and I heart them. (What the hell, I heart Monty too. He really grows on you. He's so soft and in love and pathetic.) Anyway going back to the privilege thing, I love that Percy and Felicity and others constantly call Monty out on his privilege and refuse to coddle him over it. But they also care about him and they are very tender to him, not because of his privilege, but because he is a person who deserves basic person things, when he has his own issues. Your issues don't excuse your behavior, but yikes we deeply underestimated the sheer depth of your PTSD and we're gentler with you because of it. So try to stop being an ass. This book is just super wholesome and I can already tell this will be one of my new go-to's when I need a comfort book. Like Ancillary Justice etc.

The Gentleman's Guide to Getting Lucky, Mackenzi Lee This is not a fanfiction in the sense that is it written by the author and not a fan, but you need to understand, as part of me selling this to you as earnestly as I can, this is a fanfiction set after The Gentleman's Guide to Vice and Virtue which involves hijinks as Monty and Percy try and fail hilariously to have their first time having sex together, Felicity tries to wingman, there are miscommunications and nervous breakdowns and tender resolutions and it is absolutely a perfect indulgence. Because it was written by the actual author everyone is 100% in character and the narrative voice is spot-on. Kudos!

The Lady's Guide to Petticoats and Piracy, Mackenzi Lee Ace/aro Felicity???? ACE/ARO FELICITY!!! TBH I only vaguely remembered the descriptions for this one, ie "this time it's lesbians," and I was reading this going "there is a suspicious lack of lesbians but so much platonic vibes and also…..maybe…..maybe…????" and like I got both lesbians AND ace/aro Felicity????? Lee wrote this book? As a gift? For me???? I cannot believe I was blessed with "not like other girls"!Felicity as a vehicle for calling out the internalized misogyny inherent in the Not Like Other Girls mindset, and it is glorious. You can like pretty dresses and running around doing science, or you can hate dresses and only love science, or you can only like pretty dresses, or you can like whatever the heck you want in whatever combo, doesn't matter you're still a girl you're still valid and this shit isn't mutually exclusive. Much as I don't wear makeup (I've slowly learned to wear dresses again) in real life, gosh I love Johanna for being like "I love dresses and I love science and what if I was a badass adventurer but also got to be rescued a lot" because that was bitty me. Gimme a princess dress and a sword and a bow and arrows but also a tower to be rescued from and then various adventures. I want it both ways! And that's okay!! Also this is a critique I have apparently wanted since at least 3rd grade, see this proof from my daily journal prompts, I apologize for my lack of attention to spelling and forming letters: "Girls are what ever girls are. Girls like different things so I con't judge them all. Some girls like barbies. Just becaus you my not like barbies dosn't mean those girls aren't girls, it means they like more things that hove barbies. I like nintendo and I'm a girl." Apparently I was a Not Like Other Girls who thought Other Girls were still extremely valid. (that's kind of hilarious though because like, child, you had Barbies and didn't hate Barbies, you are just bad at playing with dolls and props. You're also bad at playing Nintendo.) Other stuff specifically, hm, it was refreshing to not have "I am skinny and perfect and clearly ugly" or even "I am legitimately ugly." Instead we have, "You do realize my torso is a solid rectangle, it laughs at this corset which I guess we are going to put on anyway, also my football player shoulders are going to literally pop the sleeves off that dress" and "I am built like a corgi dog, this is simply a fact of my proportions." Like, Felicity definitely has Issues with her traditional femininity and lack thereof, but I feel like it was never specifically tied to "my body shape is ugly." Also to go back to this book being written for me personally. You know they always say to write things that only you could write, that are self-indulgent, write what you want to see? It's really hard to do without a template to follow. Right before I picked up this book I realized that maybe The Thing Only I Would Write would be saying "a Skadi-and-Njord marriage is in fact a valid happy ending," but I've never seen that before and I don't know what it would look like even if I kind of understand the concept. All the media I consume, if not ending in romantic soulmates, is at least found family. If you are a loner, if you like being alone, your happy ending is to get a manic-pixie-dream-anything (girl, grandson, grandma, dog, whathaveyou) and integrate back into being social. There are no happy endings where a loner stays alone, where you get married but live separately and see each other very rarely because you love them but can't stand to live with them and you need to be alone to exist as you. And Mackenzi Lee just up and wrote it. It's valid to want to live in a house by yourself filled with bookshelves and have friends. It's valid for a girl to marry another girl who is a pirate and sails around most of the time and only comes to visit on occasion so you don't get sick of her and you keep loving her. This is an okay thing for an ace/aro to want, and it's valid to be happy with this. I can't even, y'all. I'm still marveling. I finally have seen a picture of the life I know would make me happy, and it's finally been acknowledged that I can be happy. (The amount of time I've spent, knowing I hate being social, and wondering--how many years down the line, when I'm living alone and content, will the switch suddenly flip? How many bridges will I have left behind when it turns out that I actually feel loneliness, and I'm miserable and unable to make friends and it turns out there are no manic pixie dream whatevers in real life and I fucked myself over forever because I was wrong and I should have been maintaining these social ties now and turning into someone I'm sure I'm not? What if people like me, who don't really get lonely without people, don't actually exist??) Anyway representation matters. Also Felicity being blindsided with Callum's proposal was, wow, okay I should have caught on to ace!Felicity then because that was so very accurate to my life experience minus people cutting fingers off. Look I was quoting stuff at the end to a friend and she was like "maybe that's why there's aces on the cover" and I am a very stupid ace okay. Felicity and Johanna's intense queerplatonic friendship that they keep trying to take up again in among the same sort of "you need character growth" drama that Monty needed re: Percy is also just, chef kiss, god I love this book. I need to buy this book. I haven't yet so what I did is I renewed all the books so I could immediately reread them after I finished them the first time.