#(…or a Profession Jake kinda person…)

[seven-thewanderer]

kinda random but I am so worried rn

I don’t wanna lose interest in my Sketchies I love them sm..

But like.

Originally I was hyperfixated on my Original Furry Species, the Floserds.

I haven’t done anything for them (I haven’t even finished the website I was making for them T^T)

Then I got really hyperfixated on my Strayed!AU.

Haven’t done much on that.

Now I’m hyperfixated on my Sketchies & all their stuff

…I don’t wanna lose that focus T~T I love my Sketchies…

But I also loved my Floserds & my Strayed!AU…

[not-a-heretic]

jacob and nigel colbie

oh the beloved brothers au. created with my absolute favorite person, @sweetoneiros. obviously this drawing is for you.

someday i’ll get around to drawing them properly but this was mostly experimental because i wanted to try to bring them to life as i saw them, so the style of this piece is kinda strange given that i prioritized my vision over accuracy and lighting. hence why the colors are meh. but given that it was almost completely freehand with the exception of a pose ref that i tweaked to my liking, it didn’t turn out too bad and i think i got pretty close in capturing how i envision them.

i tried previously to sum up some of their story but it was entirely impossible to do briefly. so, in a MUCH much more simple passage, i included some of their background below for anyone curious. if you want something well written and poetically engaging, bother caitlin (she has a few posts about them on her blog i believe). i’m just the artist.

if you’re not interested in reading however, just… enjoy the picture i guess. idk

If you've read Sweetbitter, or have watched the series, then you're probably familiar with Jake. I drew him a bit younger than what we see him in the series because although the lore-accurate age gap between them is 13 years (while keeping both of the projects set in 2006), Jake's mother died when he was eight years old and we had to shift a few things around if we wanted them to be full blood siblings. (bear in mind, we have some alternate versions of the story where they're only half brothers or not related at all, but as far as the Traditional or Main Au goes, they share both parents)

You don't learn much about Jake's mother in either the series or the novel, so Caitlin and I took the liberty of writing a story for her ourselves. Her name is Diana. To whom we've cast Josefine Frida Pettersen.

To keep the two boys from being identical, I partially redesigned Nigel to look more like her. The resemblance being in the wider nose, rounded lips, and softer face shape. As opposed to Jake, who (in my opinion and to Nigel’s dismay) shares features more closely to John (still face modeled from David Threlfall) e. his sharper nose, more hollowed face, and geometric lips.

Diana was, in short, an adventurous and innocent spirit. One that caught John’s attention when she was only 17 years old and while John was traveling abroad, likely giving lectures on history or whatever else his profession was that tied back to Diana. (I don't believe we have the exact age of John at the time. But older. He was much older)

Like all stories that end in tragedy, they fell in love.

Despite their affection for one another, John had no plans of commitment to her or any sort of real loyalty whatsoever. He could see even then that she wasn't “fit” for him, and should they marry and he bring her back to England, she would have no place in the order and would ruin his perfect image with her reckless and carefree nature. Not to mention, Diana was an ill woman (much like either of her sons), she'd get caught between manic and depressive moods- ones that John hadn't the patience to care for. So when the time came, and Jake was eventually born, he left.

The expectations and delusions of a greater purpose were not exclusive to Nigel, so it’s really no wonder Nigel eventually grew into them with John’s constant indoctrination cast onto Nigel from even his early childhood. Like father like son, John believed that his line was too significant to be thrown to waste by some American teenager and so, John returned to England with the intent of finding a real wife who was better suited for his lifestyle. A woman who would obey his command and flatter his dominant nature, unlike Diana who was defiant and had some sway over him that almost brought out his inner vulnerability, proving that there was humanity within.

John met Helen. They married and although his love for her wasn't comparable to how he had felt with Diana, he made peace with this life and planned to settle and start a family with her, paying no mind to the one he had previously abandoned. Helen seemed best equipped for the job, to give him an heir; one with her temperament that would undoubtedly behave such as she did by his command, but after years of trying to conceive a child, they both realized the day would never come. So badly did Helen want a child. Her longing came not only from her grief of not being able to bear children but at the thought of failure. That same feeling of defeat at Helen’s infertility plagued John and sent him back to America, and I wish I could say it was his determination to remedy her heartache that drove him to such acts of evil, but that alone was not the case.

Exactly as he had been betting on, he found Diana waiting for him. Now she was roughly 24-25 years old and no longer the immature child he abandoned- but rather, a mother- so he had to plot carefully in order to succeed.

John manipulated and took advantage of her still naive and hopeful nature, of her optimism that they could be together now as they had once dreamed of.

He fed into her fantasy, enabling her to believe that it was a mistake and simply ignorance that motivated him in abandoning her. One thing remained true in each of his lies, he did still love her, and that feeling would outlast everything.

In due time, Diana was pregnant once more. They celebrated their gift but Diana could still feel the distance between herself and John, but she could never name exactly what it was- and maybe a part of her just didn’t want to confront it. There was something that he wasn't telling her, and she knew that. Even with her flaws, she was a saint; more forgiving than any rational woman ought to be, but it was her love for John that clouded her better judgment and put her life at stake.

During this time, Jake didn't see much of his father. He recalled him as a cold and stern man that would on occasion, attempt to win him over with expensive toys. Action figures of brave knights that John would tell him stories about, those memories faded quickly, but what he remembers fondly, was how happy John had made Diana.

The most important takeaway was that they were still in love, but nothing was more clear to Jake even at such a young age than how the growing baby inside her made his mother smile and hum to herself in the early morning while she took her vitamins and allowed Jake to pick out one for her, one for baby. Jake was overjoyed to soon have a little sibling that he could stir up all kinds of trouble with, and on the day that Nigel was born, Diana insisted that he get to hold him first while seated on the tile of their quaint home on the shore in Cape Cod, Massachusetts.

John, as absent as ever, was pleased to learn the next morning that the baby was healthy when he could finally be bothered to visit his post-partum wife whom he had neglected during labor. All ten fingers and toes. The baby had his own dark hair but Diana's grey eyes that were sure to turn blue. He hadn't thought of a name, that was for Helen to decide. But Diana had already called him Nigel, and of all the things he would soon strip from her, the boy's name was not one that he could bring himself to take.

Merely weeks were all that Diana and Jake had with Nigel. A few months of bliss that were increasingly growing tense as John's treatment towards his happy family darkened and he turned on them as if becoming impatient. He spent less and less time with his older son and distanced himself from Diana as much as possible, but Nigel was shielded from any hateful behavior and was instead adored for a span of time while John made the necessary preparations to bring him home. Then on an empty and almost chilling night, John took the baby from Diana’s side where he slept with her in bed still, and left without a trace.

Diana was heartbroken. She knew immediately what happened but no one would help her and it almost seemed as if no one believed this mad woman. She lost herself in her grief. Jake watched her anguish from afar, still not quite old enough to understand what was happening, just that they had lost something and would never get it back. Diana had seen the last of her baby, she assumed the same for her oldest son.

Diana dressed Jake warmly one day, bundled him in layers, and took him by the seaside, telling him to wait there.

Diana drowned herself, accepting defeat and unable to face her suffering any longer, and Jake was taken in by his neighbors- by Simone and her family- and from there, the canon story unfolds for Jake.

As for John upon his return to England, he presented the baby to Helen like a prize he had fought bravely for in war. Nigel became John’s pride and joy as he was proudly displayed in front of his pretentious colleagues. That was until Nigel began to grow strikingly more resemblant to Diana with each passing day, and although Helen still had it in her heart to love him- in Nigel’s face and rebellious attitude, John saw the woman he had sacrificed. During the days of his youth, in Nigel’s messy hair that surely would’ve been tangled with saltwater and sand after long afternoons spent with his real mother, John could only see the woman he had taken advantage of. Therein lies his hatred towards his son; a haunting reminder of the poor fair maiden he had traded in exchange for his perfect heir.

Firstly, John tried to discipline this part of Nigel out of him. As if to exorcise Diana's spirit out of him like he could drain every ounce of her blood from his being, but the more strain he put on the boy, the more he reminded him of his mother. Nigel's demeanor shifted and his mental state cracked in the same way Diana’s had, and it became thoroughly agonizing for John to witness until he was left no choice but to send him away at 17 years old. The same age she had been when John began to ruin her. No one is haunting the narrative quite like Diana.

In some aus, the events of both stories still take place, others are set just before or maybe after. Then in our more abstract storylines, the canon lore just never happens at all, but in most cases, Nigel (often accompanied by Alex) flees to America in a desperate attempt to escape. Why he was called to America specifically likely had to do with half of his heritage, but he didn't know that. It just felt like the best option at the time. America is so large and is rarely well versed on the criminal cases taking place in England, at least well-versed enough to actively be on the hunt for two psychotic teenagers.

Oddly, Nigel and Jake’s first interaction is something that has never been directly hashed out. Regarding how exactly Jake and Nigel met, there are a couple of different approaches we've taken but it’s ultimately better left open-ended. But, it takes a LOT of warming up for the both of them to even get to the point of trust that we see pictured above as Nigel is reluctantly seeking affection but only as long as Jake isn’t looking at him.

They live in Jake’s small but ridiculously priced apartment and slowly, incrementally, Jake begins to introduce Nigel to the truth of their parentage- however best he can remember it. As on par for Nigel, he's a bit suspicious of it all. He’d known his lineage had to have been partially false given dominant genetics and the things John had refused to tell him, but that didn't mean he was being dealt the whole truth by Jake, and it wasn’t easy to completely forsake Helen (if he ever fully manages to accomplish that).

Caitlin is more of a Nigel + Diana truther, but I like to desperately cling to his canon roots and decide how it affects him and his relationship with the stranger claiming to be his brother.

Does Jake know what Nigel and Alex have done? That’s purely circumstantial and dependent on what is currently being discussed in the au. Mostly, Jake overlooks it or channels his inner Diana to refuse to acknowledge the warning signs he’s seeing or hearing in the person he cares about. Jake, blamelessly, is willing to trade or overlook a few atrocities in exchange for Nigel’s return because if he can't have his mother back, he'll (maybe begrudgingly) accept his brother.

There are too many variations of the brothers’ story post-reunion for me to elaborate much on that, I also saved you their character descriptions because I’m assuming anyone who reads this is mostly aware of the basics of their characters and exactly what sort of troublesome dynamic that would create. Predominantly, the au consists of dumb memes or any excuse to make tragic media about our favorite miserable characters and worsen their lives.

How it ends? It doesn't. Well, it does, but in many ways. Sometimes Nigel leaves again (either physically or in death), other times Jake isn't so forgiving of Nigel’s crimes and is killed for his knowledge of it or it drives them apart at the very least, (I don’t believe we’ve ever considered the alternative of Jake turning the boys in, however. He’s still loyal to his brother, but to a fault), and then of course, there's the possibility of psychopathic mind games inflicted onto Jake so Alex and Nigel can use him for their own betterment. That one is quite rare though.

Caitlin is about to pull up in her New Bugatti and tell me that I got it all wrong and she would be entirely justified in that because my memory of all that goes on in the au is so scattered because it’s been going on since December 2023.

Feel free to correct me on any of this, Caitlin. Or even add on. I had something more intelligently written but then scrapped it all because it was reaching a truly ridiculous word count and I could bear it no longer. So I’m just firing from the hip here.

the creation of the au can be mostly credited to caitlin as it came about from an edit she made comparing he characters’ similar themes. once the knowledge struck that both projects were set in 2006, we began digging ourselves in too deep to escape. but if you see them drawn again, now you know who and what they are. they’re the closest i’ll ever get to having OC’s i fear.

[ronearoundblindly]

Hi Lexi, I have an ask 😏

I keep seeing these pranks girlfriends are doing on their boyfriends on TikTok where the girl is talking to her man about her waxing appointment she just had and she casually says 'HE was great' or 'HE did a great job’

How do you think the Chris characters would react? 😂😂

Warnings for Lexi getting on her professional high horse and inferences to, well, the areas that get waxed.

Hi. I'm Lexi, and this is my job. I wax people for a living and am about to get extremely serious for a moment before our fun imagines...

IF the person is professional, there is zero reason a male or female waxologist should matter. Of course, it is important for the client themselves to be most comfortable, but men and women can be equally good at this job and equally shit at it. I say this knowing that I went to school with a handful of women that did not care about the comfort or safety of their clients, only money and time. I'd say it was as bad as 50/50. The sex or sexual orientation of your professional doesn't actually matter, and I find it childish that any man would get huffy or jealous as long as the service is done professionally and well for the actual client. I would personally punch any man (yes, even those with faces as pretty as above) for being a sexist, assuming dickhead in this manner.

James Mace

Curious. Sorta wants to come with you to your next appointment and ask how a man gets into that line of work, since it is more rare. Mace would also be curious if you were shocked at first that a man would wax you. Did you feel uncomfortable at first? Has more than one man waxed you? Is this...is this a thing he can learn to help with? He's simply never thought about it before.

Curtis Everett

Weirdly 'classic man' about it and thinks it's bizarre a man waxes people. He just thinks that sounds like a woman's profession and a woman's service. Cringes and hisses at the mere thought of hair being ripped from his own body, so Curtis cannot fathom why anyone does it, man or woman.

Jimmy Dobyne

Doesn't give a rat's ass if there's hair down there, so mostly he's just indifferent to the whole situation. If you start talking about 'how cute' your waxer is, however, that's another story. Would probably assume the man is gay, too, and would express shock if you said otherwise. To Jimmy though, a job is a job. Whatever.

Johnny Storm

Simultaneously doesn't care and is fascinated. He's a try-anything-once person, so Johnny kinda wants to know what that feels like AND will be an enormous baby about the pain of waxing. He would be equally fascinated if the professional were female or male to be honest, though he'd be slightly more goofy and flirtatious with a woman. Johnny--as you may guess--would love to make you jealous so that he can 'prove himself' to you over and over again; he isn't a jealous type on his own.

Jake Jensen

Dead silence. Doesn't mention a fucking thing about how he feels but internally screaming. Deeply angry that not only did a man see you that way but also that a man is doing something 'painful' to you and that Jake didn't know before. Does a background check on your professional without ever saying a word to you. Only brings it up if there's something suspicious in the man's record. Refuses to be 'that guy' and voice his discomfort. Hopes you both never speak of it again...or the man retires soon and you see a woman.

Lloyd Hansen

Can you guess? I feel by now you can guess what I'm going to say.

Lloyd (that's right) doesn't. give. a. fuck.

Good. Get waxed. There is no need to talk about it. He just cares that it's done, not about any of the specifics.

Ari Levinson

Horrified that anyone waxes anything. Vaguely interested that a man offers it. Asks you what he looks like--i.e. does a man with a lot of hair (like Ari) wax other people or is he rather hairless himself? Ari shivers while considering it and promptly forgets all about it.

Ransom Drysdale

Did the job get done? Fine. Is the guy your only option for someone to wax you? No. Will Ran call your salon and insist you never be booked with the guy (or any guy) again? Yes. Yes he will.

Does Ran tell you he did that? No. Does he care if you know? Also no, but he ain't fucking discussing it. End of story.

Andy Barber

Literally has twelve other things to talk about with you so he doesn't care at all. Would forever prefer enjoying the results then getting hung up on the methods...

Steve Rogers

Has NO IDEA how to respond to that. Has NO IDEA if he should care or be mad or be interested or offer any words whatsoever. Is SO AWKWARD when moving on to another topic of discussion.

Bucky Barnes

Grumpy. First suggests and then insists that he do it for you/help. Verbally observes that it would save money and time to simply do it at home; emotionally unhinged at the wave of possessive rage he feels in the moment. He isn't proud of the response, but he also isn't letting that continue. Full-stop.

Thank you for asking!

[Main Masterlist; Who Would...Masterlist; Ko-Fi]

@supraveng @1950schick @patzammit @whiskeytangofoxtrot555

@yiiiikesmish @ashesofblackroses @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory

@brandycranby @buckysprettybaby @ellethespaceunicorn

@late-to-the-party-81 @bigtreefest @mistressmkay @astheskycries

@rogersbarber @blogbog710 @yenzys-lucky-charm

[jaylver]

GOLDEN HOUR — S.JY

synopsis: a lovesick jake wasn’t going to stop himself from being impulsive and say those three words that he has been saving for another time. seeing you during the golden hour, sun beaming on your skin, looking ever so perfect, he couldn’t hold himself back. how could you blame the poor guy anyway?

pairings: non-idol!jake x afab!reader

genre: undertone of friends to lovers, fluff, cheesy confessions, romance

warning(s): profanities

wc: 889

a/n: a little self indulgent fic hehe. hope you'll enjoy this! please leave some feedbacks and reblogs are greatly appreciated! muah <3

masterlist | © jaylver all rights reserved.

Jake was in love. 

It wasn’t those typical teen romances where people dated just for the sake of experience, no, it was something more than that. A connection deep enough to etch into the skins of one another, pulling you to him and him to you, there was an undying spark that continuously lingered without extinguishing.

Jake was the embodiment of love. He was love itself. 

It was one of those days where it was only you and him, alone in his car right after he had picked you up and drove you home. But instead of leaving right away, the car was parked a few blocks down from yours, Frank Ocean’s ‘Blonde’ playing on shuffle in the background. The sky was a hue of pink and orange, telling you that it was time to head home, yet you weren’t willing to.

“Thanks for driving me home … again,” you laughed, feeling slightly embarrassed for having inconvenienced Jake, but he was thinking the complete opposite of being inconvenienced.

“It’s no problem,” Jake smiled, and no matter how hard he tried, he was still nervous around you. Maybe because he was dying to profess his love for you, confess and get you to be his, but he was holding himself back. “It’s along the way back to my house anyway,” it wasn’t.

Jake could already imagine the missed calls from his mother, text messages asking about his whereabouts, making it a routine for him to be home a little later than usual. 

“Still, I feel bad sometimes,” you shrugged out of earnest. “But I’m really grateful, though,”

“I want to do this, Y/N, don’t feel bad,” his hold on the steering wheel tightened, watching the sun hitting your skin, making it almost glitter-like. You were the most beautiful person he has ever seen.

You nodded, biting on your lips thoughtfully. “I don’t really want to leave,”

Jake swore he felt his heart stop and revive, then proceeding to beat at ten times speed. The effect of your words surely made him light headed. “Then don’t,” he joked lightly, highkey dying internally. “‘Blonde’s’ still playing! Plus, ivy is next, isn’t it your favourite song?”

“You remembered!”

Of course he did. He remembered everything about you like second nature.

“It's nothing,” he laughed, waving you off, but internally feeling giddy when he saw your beaming face. You were so, so pretty.

“It is something to me,” you said softly and truthfully, staring into those puppy eyes of his.

“I like you,” Jake blurted out, as if the words were poured out before it even went through his mind. He did not expect himself to do this at all. Fuck. 

Your wide eyes and gaped mouth only made him anxious, short silence filling the space between you two. Say something! Say something!

“I like you too, Jake,”

There it was.

“W–what?”

“Hm?” you tilted your head, looking back at Jake’s shock expression. “Did you expect a rejection instead?”

“Well—kinda—no—uh—” he was stuttering. The famous charmer Jake Sim was actually stuttering and losing his composure. 

“I like you, very very much,” you said it again, each time making Jake’s heart flutter insanely. 

“God, Y/N, you’re—” he exhaled, in disbelief that he had bagged his crush, “—everything, absolutely everything to me,”

Jake reached over for you and pulled you into his arms, squeezing you tight. The moment he let go, his eyes wouldn’t leave your face. He was taking every part of you in, gaze wandering every inch of your features as if he was memorising them.

“I—uhm—should leave, shouldn’t I?” you broke the momentary silence, noticing the time gradually slipping by. “As much as I want to stay, I don’t think my mum would approve,”

“O–oh, yeah! Sorry, I forgot,” he scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, managing a lopsided smile for you. 

“It’s okay. Text me when you reach home safely, will you?”

“I will,” he squeezed your hand in reassurance. “You should get going now,”

“I probably should,” you nodded, holding onto your things tightly. “Bye, Jakey,”

“Bye,” he breathed out, staring at you with so much love that no one else could amount to. But then, he remembered something.

“Hey—” he went to stop you before you could exit his car, “so, summer’s coming up and I was wondering if you’d like to go somewhere with me,”

“Something like a date?”

“Very much so,”

“I’d love to,”

“Cool,”

“Cool,” you repeated, snickering a little at Jake’s reddening ears. “Make sure to tell me about your plans. Bye!” you snuck a quick peck on his cheek before exiting the car and slamming the door shut, turning around to wave him goodbye before disappearing behind your front door, all while the only thing Jake could do was stay in shock.

His fingers lingered on the spot your lips had made contact with, giddiness welled up in Jake’s stomach, butterflies swarming and heart going crazy. You just had that effect on him, always, undoubtedly.

It was just two lovers, sitting in the car, listening to ‘Blonde’ and falling for each other. Tension finally broken and true feelings revealed, Jake could die a happy man right there and then. You were his golden hour, his radiant beam in the night, the love of his life, and he wouldn’t trade anything for it.

( © jaylver all rights reserved. do NOT copy, plagiarise or edit my work and repost whatsoever. once discovered will be exposed and blacklisted. )

☆ permanent taglist (open):

@silentkarnival @strvlveera @freshsaladbowl @bejewelledgirl @fakeuwus @yenqa @hsgwrld @ilovegyuvin @enhacatalog

[phisworld14]

mutuals tag game

tagged by the amazing @hangmanbradshaw – this is my first tag like this so super excited! <3

what's the origin of your blog title? “Living in a crazy world” is a pretty apt description of life tbh. But mostly, it’s cause I don’t have a creative bone in my body.

otp(s) + shipname(s): Bradley and Jake (Hangster) which seems to overtake my life these days. From others – Harry and Ginny and Lily and James from HP; I was very into Kurt and Blaine from Glee back in the day, but kinda went off the show as a whole. Sherlock and John (Johnlock) from Sherlock the TV Series. And the rest have really fallen into obscurity.

favourite colour: Purple – the royal shade that is really deep is my fave hue, but really I love anything in the range of purple.

song stuck in your head: Country Roads, which you can thank Charlie Cameron for. Hearing that belted out by 30,000 people at the top of their lungs is something else.

weirdest habit/trait: I am ridiculously good at remembering your whole life story just by looking at you, but ask me to tell you your name and nine times out of ten I’ll be fresh out of luck.  

hobbies: Reading (obvs) – I consume stories like they are going out of fashion, watching the cricket and AFL (GO LIONS!!!) and travelling – especially cruising.  

if you work, what's your profession? Financial Planner. I get to tell people what to do with their money.

if you could have any job you wish, what would it be? If I could be paid to either read all day or do something to do with the AFL / Cricket I would be in absolute heaven.

something you're good at: I’m really good at writing thesis’ apparently. I got an award at my uni for getting the top mark in my Masters thesis in the country – not just my degree, but of anyone completing the Capstone subject which was pretty cool. But in terms of things I actively have tried to be good at – I know a ridiculous amount about my two favourite sporting teams, despite the fact that I do not play sports and have the hand eye co-ordination of a toddler.

something you hate: I could be mean and say Collingwood supporters… but I won’t. People who are intolerant, or who speak about things as fact when they have no idea about the subject matter. And the people who act surprised when I know things about my favourite sports because I’m a *girl* so how on earth do I know anything?

something you collect: I collect magnet’s – especially of the places I travel to, Brisbane Lions memorabilia (I’m very proud of that collection), and Christmas things – I try to get something new from every place I go or for every thing that is important to me. My Christmas collection gets one new major piece each year at least, and usually a few others as I see fit – my collection literally fills the entirety of my under stair storage and I think has grown to 28 boxes this year (with some of those boxes being almost as big as me!).

something you forget: People’s names. I’m absolutely terrible with them.

what's your love language: I love to find the perfect thing for my loved ones – I’m way more into watching others open gifts / see their reaction to something I’ve planned for them than I am about receiving anything.

favourite movie/show: My current major obsession is TG:M, but I also love Harry Potter (books and movies), Star Wars, Lord of the Rings (books and movies and entire universe), Sherlock, Blue Bloods and Dirty Dancing – but my all time favourite movie is Beaches.

favourite food: Chicken and Broccoli Casserole with rice – I could literally eat this all day every day, but in terms of cuisine – I’m obsessed with Italian – pizza, pasta you name it. Yum!

favourite animal: The Giant Panda. I got to go to Japan and see a baby one and it was one of the greatest moments of my life!!

what were you like as a child: shy, very bookish, super personable once I knew someone, but quite quiet. My mum says I’m an extroverted introvert which is a weird descriptor, but kinda fits.

favourite subject at school: Ancient History and Physics

least favourite subject: Geology

what's your best character trait? I’d like to say I’m super loyal and I think that is my best character trait.

what's your worst character trait? I’m very jugemental and very blunt – a little too blunt sometimes. I have a twin so I joke that I’m the evil twin because it means I get away with more – but I literally told a friend to dump her new boyfriend the day I met him in front of him because of the bad vibes I got from him (I was right, but it took her 18 months and a fractured friendship to discover that).

if you could change any detail of your life right now, what would it be? I’d love to see my sister become a mum – she would be amazing as a mum, but it just hasn’t been in the cards for her husband and her and I’d love that to change.

if you could travel in time, who would you like to meet? I’d be fascinated to talk to a young Queen Victoria, or go to when Toklien and C.S. Lewis were part of the Inklings and sit and speak to both them and their compatriots because that would be absolutely fascinating.

Tagging whoever wants to do it as I think most of you have already done this.

[mannick]

Lover Boy

Something to make up for ‘The interview pt2’ taking so long! I keep deleting it and rewriting it because it doesn’t live up to the first part! I’m having a crisis, but after reading sugar pt6 for the 80th time it’s finally coming together so be on the lookout for it later tonight or early-ish tomorrow!

Warnings:Cursing, Alcohol, Dirty nasty smut! Technically public? Sorry for any mistakes! Asshole!Jake

"Jacob remove your whore hands from my body." I immediately spun to face him, pushing his chest.

Jake threw his head back letting out a loud laugh and shook his head afterward "Whore hands huh?"

I scoffed and took a sip from my beer before continuing to talk. "Yes, whore hands. Shouldn't you be feeling up Kayla like you were earlier?" I cocked a brow at him.

He smirked and got closer to me again, he leaned down to look at me. "You're so hot when you're jealous." He took his bottom lip between his teeth and wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me to him.

Rolling my eyes I immediately mushed his face pushing him out of my way and walked past him downing the rest of my beer. I was literally at a party and I was single, time to act like it!

I was beyond tired of his cat and mouse games, as a grown woman I was embarrassed that I had played along that long anyways. Jacob knew I had feelings for him, like REAL feelings. He used that against me, he knew I was weak for him.I drunkenly professed my love for him multiple times and he always brushed it off. He always brushed ME off. Unless he wanted sex, then it was always "you know I adore you Y/n" "please forgive me, it wasn't like that" "you were drunk I didn't think you meant it". But- after tonight I no longer care. I'm going to get laid and forget about the situation, forget about him.

"Y/n! Please help me." Josh moved through the crowd of people with a frown.

"Joshy! What's wrong bub- oh shit." His favorite cropped blue top has red soda all over it. "Cmon, I can make sure it doesn't stain." I grabbed his hand pulling him through the sea of people.

When we got to the bathroom I closed the door behind us and then pulled my hair up. "I need that shirt off your body honey."

Josh nodded and took his shirt off sitting on the counter then handing it to me. I took it from him and grabbed peroxide and searched the bottom cabinet for detergent. I knew the girl who had thrown the party so I was a bit aquatinted with the house and stuff. I held the shirt up looking at the damage.

"I can definitely get this out, I'll have to hand wash it but it'll come out."

Josh immediately smiled widely and nodded "Thank you Y/n, Maya poured pop on me after I told her I didn't love her the way she loved me."

"I wish Jake would've done that to me, instead of pretending that he kinda had feelings for me to get sex. I'm done with that shit though, I deserve more. Also, Maya is beautiful but she's not a good person at all, so I totally get why the love isn't reciprocated." I took my lip between my teeth as I rinsed the shirt and wrung it out holding up the top.

"Yeah she really sucks as a human if I'm being honest, and I like EVERYBODY- also I'm sorry about Jake. He's a real ditz, especially not to bag you when he had the chance." His eyes were locked on me, I felt myself blush.

I slung the shirt over the shower rod after wringing out the access water and turned to Josh.  My eyes wandered down his chest to his exposed happy trail and v-line. He noticed my eyes and his cheeks got red, he cleared his throat snapping me out of my thoughts. But it was a bit late as I had already felt a warm feeling pool my underwear. This was not the first time just being around Josh had turned me on, he was always so sweet and hot. I usually just ignored it because my head was so far up Jake's ass. A knock at the door and girl yelling "Please come out or I'll piss everywhere!" snapped me out of my thoughts yet again.

Josh laughed at the girl and grabbed his shirt "Do you think the the host would mind if I used her dryer?"

I shook my head "Liyah wouldn't mind at all, I'll take you to the dryer." I took Josh's hand into mine walking out earning a few weird stares from people.

Josh stopped mid way and stared off into the distance, my eyes followed his and I seen Jake and Maya making out on the couch. Jake's hands were under her skirt and you could see her grinding into his hand. My eyes watered immediately as I practically pulled Josh into the small washroom closing the door while breathing deeply.

Josh looked at me with sympathetic eyes even though he himself seemed a bit hurt.

"I'm sorry you had to see that Y/n... You didn't deserve to see that." He pulled me into his chest hugging me tightly.

My arms wrapped around his waist as I sniffed, I didn't want to start crying over that asshole. "It's okay Josh, he's not even worth my tears. But, it's alway harder to let go of your first."

He nodded and let me go holding my face in his hands rubbing my cheeks with his thumbs giving me a warm smile, he turned away from me putting his shirt in the dryer turning it on.

I held my face missing the feeling of his hands on your face before shaking my head and taking a deep breath.

"Josh, want to hear something funny?" I say giggling a bit.

Josh spun to face me with a wide smile on his face signaling for me to go on. "I'm wet, like ridiculously wet right now." I was laughing hard now with a blush forming over my cheeks.

His brow cocked and he crossed his arms over his chest "From the sight of Jake and Maya?"

I shook my head grinning wide, I jumped onto the dryer my legs dangling off it. "No, from the sight of you without a shirt."

Josh's cheeks grew red as he looked at me in my eyes, he walked towards me standing between my legs with his hands resting on my thighs. "I didn't realize me without a shirt could get you 'ridiculously wet'."

My hands went to his cheeks as I looked over him again "Your happy trail and v-line is what sent me over the edge though." I bit my lip staring into his eyes.

He bit his lip his eyes going from my eyes to my lips, his hand going between my legs. His index and middle fingers rubbed over my soaked underwear rubbing me through them causing me to let out a small moan. I took that opportunity to kiss him, his lips were so plush against mine and he kissed me back with the same hunger I kissed him with. He rubbed my my clit through the wet fabric causing me to moan into his mouth, josh pulled away and flashed me a big smile.

"I've wanted to do that for while, I've wanted you for a while." Josh spoke lowly before his lips attached to my neck kissing on it softly before he'd randomly suck on the skin creating hickeys.

My back arched my chest pushing into his "You've always been so sweet to me, I don't want you to think I'm taking advantage the situation."

He chuckled and pulled away,hooking his finger through my underwear and tapping my thigh with his other hand to signal me to lift up. I placed my hands on the dryer lifting my lower half as he pulled down my underwear, he stuffed them into his pocket then looked at me.

"I want to do this mama, do you?" He raised his brow waiting for a response.

I smirked and sat back onto the dryer spreading my legs so he could see how wet I was for him. "Please fuck me joshy."

Josh's eyes wandered down to my heat and he groaned at the sight "Fuck mama."

I pulled my dress over my head and tossed it onto the floor leaving me completely nude for him. My hand went to my heat rubbing my middle finger through my wetness then sliding it over my clit before rubbing it in gentle circles slowly. I whimpered and felt my slick begin to pool out of me.

Josh's eyes watched me momentarily before he took his pants and boxers off allowing his stiff cock spring out. He pulled me to the edge of the dryer and swiped his fingers through my slick and sucking me off his fingers, I watched in awe as his eyes rolled back as he tasted me.

"So sweet mama, so fucking sweet." His words were low and gruff making me squirm.

He grabbed himself rubbing the tip against my clit momentarily before sliding his whole length into me. My back arched and my breathing stopped feeling how big he was inside of me.

“Josh!" Was all I could get out before he started to thrust inside of me at an inhumane pace. My arms wrapped around his neck and his went around my waist tightly as he sped up while pushing his face into the crook of my neck groaning loudly.

"So- fuck! So fucking tight princess." He was a wreck from feeling me squeeze around his throbbing cock, my nails dug into his back as he pushed into me deeper his tip rubbing against my g-spot.

"You fuck me so good j-josh, I love the way you fuck me!" My head laid on his neck as he continued to fuck me senseless, the feeling in my legs started to fade from all of the pleasure he was giving me.

He pulled out and backed away taking me with him before turning me over roughly and bending me over the dryer sliding back into me resuming his deep but fast thrusts.

"OH fuck fuck fuck joshhhh!" The amount of pleasure I was receiving from him was unexplainable, my eyes rolled to the back of my head as I pushed my ass back to meet each of his thrust pushing him even deeper.

"I'm gonna cum mama!" He growls as his thrusts start to become slower than I'd like them to causing me to throw my ass back on him while looking back at him keeping eye contact as I moaned his name.

"Please cum for me baby, fill me up joshy please."

That causes josh to go absolutely still as he spills his seed inside of me while throwing his head back letting the loudest groan I've ever heard escape from his throat.I started to slow down feeling how much he came into me,it was so much that it started to spill out of me and he was still cumming.

He slowly pulled out causing us both to groan, he dropped to his knees spreading my cheeks apart pushing his face into my heat wrapping his lips around my clit causing me gasp.

His tongue was heavenly he rolled it over my sensitive bud lapping at it vigorously making my legs shake feeling myself getting close.

"Just like that! Please josh you're gonna make me cum so hard for you." I whimpered as he plunges two fingers into me making more of his seed spill out of me curving them to hit my gspot as he shook his head from side to side with a groan.

"Cum for me princess, be a good girl and cum for daddy."

That's all I needed to hear because after a few more licks and thrusts of his fingers i squirted with the loudest stream of profanities leaving my lips as i became undone for him. He continued to push his fingers into me in order to let me ride out my orgasm before pulling them out, i fell to the floor my body completely limp. Josh immediately at my side concerned as if he didn't just give me the best fucking of my life.

"You alright Y/n?" Josh asks while wiping the tears I hadn't noticed from my face.

I nodded and bit my lower lip pulling him in to kiss him passionately "I'm fine."

He smiled as we pulled away and leaned in to kiss me again. Just as our lips touched the door flung open causing josh to cover me leaving himself full exposed.

Liyah squealed taking in the scene before her.

"What the fuck. In my laundry rooommmm Y/n? I haven't even fucked in here yet!"

[kryptonitejelly]

Going through a kinda tough breakup (we live together, have a dog, the whole 9- genuinely thought this was the man I’m going to marry; he’s military and it’s been really difficult of late, he made some very hurtful decisions while he was away and just yeah) and I just wanted to say that reading flyboy has really helped what I’m going through🥺 it’s been really hard but reading has been giving me a lot of hope and comfort and all of the best feelings. Same for your rooster fluff and all of the Jake headcannons and stuff. They’ve been getting me through the thick of it 💗🥺 thank you

Here’s to hoping we all find our own personal Jake or rooster one of these days if we haven’t already and don’t settle for anything less. Ya girl needs Jake to come get her tequila drunk and then carry me home plz

baby :( i am sending you ten million hugs, and if i could i would send you all the tequila in the world and come over to have a night out with you and then find a Jake to come carry you all the way and tuck you into bed. or i’ll carry you when you are tequila drunk <3 (i am strong, i got you babe)

i won’t profess to know exactly how you feel - but sorta, i was in a relationship a few years ago (times of old now) where i thought i would marry him (i was young and foolish) but he used me for alot of things, made bad decisions (cheated on me, lied a lot), and made me feel like shit about myself - so i know how shitty it can feel. but ilysm <3 and time will make it better (even though we all know this, and it never seems like that in the moment) and i am so glad that the little things i write help a bit. you will get through this with time, and in the meantime if you ever want to talk - i am here for you, ok???????

i have my own personal hotch (criminal minds, aaron hotchner - my bf is more like him than jake or rooster), but me and (i’ll force him to) him will LOVE EVERY BIT OF YOU UNTIL YOU FIND YOUR OWN JAKE AND ROOSTER (and even after you do).

mwah. ily anon <3

[ardenconway]

( cisfemale | she/her | melissa barrera ) —— isn’t that ARDEN CONWAY? yeah that is them, sitting there at the SLYTHERIN table with those other SEVENTH years. when sybill looks into that crystal ball of hers, she sees cigarette smoke over an open window, firewhiskey stained clothes, a mother’s backlogged dreams, water stained letters never sent which seems about right for that NINETEEN year old. anyway i’ve heard they’re pretty LOYAL, COLD, and ADAPTABLE. apparently they’re MARKED DEATH EATER and PUREBLOOD but i’m sure that’s not related… —— [ jake : pst : 25 : they/them ]

full name: arden catalina conway  siblings: only child (she thinks, has a half brother that she doesn’t know about) age: nineteen date of birth: october 31st sexuality: lesbian patronus: corsac fox boggart: tbd wand: ebony with dragon heartstrings core, slightly springy affiliation: neutral quidditch position: chaser

i’ll eventually write a bio but here’s some bullet points about arden: 

she comes from a long line of slytherins, her family proud purebloods and everyone who knows them knows it. her parents are very political death eaters her father an ambassador wixen in mexico. though arden turns a “blind eye” to it seeing as though she rarely talks to her parents on a good day. 

they had raised her to be the very best, not taking if’s and’s or but’s, while this wasn’t great for her mental health it sure did help her achieve a lot as a child. she’s very cutthroat about things she’s passionate about (ex: quidditch) 

i had based her off of cristina yang (greys anatomy) & kat baker (spinning out), both brilliant with their profession but that often gets in the way of personal relationships (though arden was never very good at that even before she learned how to ride a broom) 

arden doesn’t know how to be very vulnerable, it’s not something that she had been allowed to express at home. though, underneath it all, there’s just a girl that wants to be loved and to be appreciated, wants to be seen more as a person than a trophy child that her parents had made her out to be. 

her mother had wanted to play in a quidditch league, but she never was able to due to an injury, from a very young age she had drilled arden that if she wanted to succeed then she needed to try harder for her goals. 

basically: dad is a very proud death eater, mother looks complicit but is actually the one that seeks more power out of the two due to a scandal that had happened back in mexico.

 arden is meant to be following in their footsteps though she doesn’t know where she stands when it comes to the politics in the wizarding world she just likes playing quidditch \0/

later in her very near future her parents give her a warning that if she doest follow the path shes meant to take she’s disowned from the family so she’s currently on her way to becoming a marked death eater like her parents

personality wise / fun facts: 

loyal, extremely so, to her friends, is the biggest hype man for her friends tbh adsknjfsd always willing to gossip or to cut someone if they hurt her friends 

absolutely loves mischief and getting into trouble (prides herself on never getting caught but tbh ppl probably know its her) 

smokes. she knows she shouldn’t, but she does anyway 

likes writing in diaries, has many letters that she has never sent to her parents talking about her dreams and ambitions. she has a stack of them since she was eleven 

genuinely likes hugs and being held but she’d never tell you that since hugging and any sort of affection wasn’t prevalent in her home growing up 

she actually does pretty good in school, on the down low she tutors those who need help in exchange for secrets (she’s nosey! loves gossip! wants to know everything!!!!) 

kinda lonely tbh just rly wants some good friends and do things she never got to do as a child 

actually a pretty decent painter / likes sketching things she sees 

connections:

i am open to anything! 

[theowlsarequeer]

Reblog to tell your followers the entirety of Be More Chill (more musicals to come)

Jeremy Heere, a high school junior, is a social outcast. He lives with his recently divorced father, who works from home and makes Jeremy uncomfortable by refusing to wear pants in the house. At school, Jeremy is bullied by popular student Rich Goranski, who writes "boyf" on his backpack. His "best friend", Michael Mell (on whose backpack Rich has written "riends"), tries to comfort Jeremy by telling him that being a loser is okay. Jeremy's long-time crush Christine Canigula signs up for the school play, and he decides to as well. Jeremy wonders if someone can help him "more than survive" ("More Than Survive").

As they wait for the first play rehearsal to begin, Christine professes her love of theater to Jeremy, because she can play different people and always knows what to say and performs ("I Love Play Rehearsal"). The drama teacher, Mr. Reyes, reveals that the school play will be A Midsummer Night's Dream set in a post-apocalyptic future, re-titled A Midsummer Nightmare (About Zombies). During rehearsal, Jake Dillinger, one of the popular boys, flirts with Christine, making Jeremy jealous ("More Than Survive (Reprise)").

Jeremy is confronted in the bathroom by Rich, who tells Jeremy how he managed his rise to popularity: as an unpopular freshman, he took a pill called a "super quantum unit Intel processor"—a "SQUIP"—containing a computer that implants itself inside the user's brain and tells the user what to do and say. Rich suggests that Jeremy buy one in order to become cooler ("The Squip Song").

While playing video games with Michael, Jeremy tells him about Rich's offer. After an awkward conversation with his dad (still not wearing pants), Jeremy decides to check the SQUIP out. Jeremy assures Michael that, no matter what happens, they'll always be a team ("Two-Player Game").

The two visit the mall to buy the SQUIP from a dealer at Payless ShoeSource. Jeremy, as instructed, swallows it with green Mountain Dew. When the SQUIP activates, it causes Jeremy to have a seizure in front of Christine and Jake ("The Squip Enters"). The SQUIP (in the guise of Keanu Reeves), criticizes Jeremy's appearance, personality, and behavior, telling him that everything about him is terrible ("Be More Chill, Pt. 1"). The SQUIP orders him to go to a store to buy a new Eminem shirt. Jeremy encounters two popular girls from school, Brooke Lohst and Chloe Valentine, and the SQUIP helps Jeremy fabricate a story in order to create empathy with the two girls. They offer Jeremy a ride home ("Do You Wanna Ride?"), which the SQUIP demands he accept, but Jeremy declines because he does not wish to leave Michael in the mall. The girls leave, and the SQUIP lies to Jeremy and tells him that Michael has left the mall. It tells him that in order for its plan to improve his social standing to work, Jeremy needs to obey every order it gives him ("Be More Chill, Pt. 2").

The next day, Jeremy heads to school with renewed confidence, wondering if he might be less invisible than before. The SQUIP delves into the inner psyche of the student body around him, giving Jeremy insight on the fears and insecurities of his fellow peers. Jeremy's SQUIP syncs itself with Rich's, instantly making them friends. Jeremy heads confidently to the play rehearsal ("Sync Up"). Christine tells Jeremy about her feelings for a guy she knows, who Jeremy initially believes is himself, but who turns out to be Jake ("A Guy That I'd Kinda Be Into").

Afterward, the SQUIP informs Jeremy that Christine won't date him until his social standing drastically improves. Encouraging Jeremy to use an interested Brooke as a stepping stone to greater popularity, he hooks up with her, while Jake asks Christine to come to his house ("Upgrade"). Overwhelmed, Jeremy asks the SQUIP to shut itself off for a few minutes. Immediately, Jeremy sees Michael and is elated but Michael states that Jeremy has been ignoring him all day. The SQUIP explains that it was using "optic nerve blocking" to block Michael from Jeremy's vision and that in order to be more popular he has to "upgrade to Jeremy 2.0." Jeremy eventually decides he is tired of being a loser and turns on optic nerve blocking, leaving him alone with the SQUIP ("Loser Geek Whatever").

Act Two

On Halloween, Jake hosts a large party that features alcohol and other shenanigans ("Halloween"). Christine arrives in a revealing princess costume, hoping to please Jake, but he brushes her aside to party. Jeremy arrives to meet Brooke, but Chloe, who is jealous of Brooke, tries to seduce Jeremy. Jeremy is uncomfortable and tries to get away, but the SQUIP forces him to remain in the situation as it escalates to Chloe making out with Jeremy ("Do You Wanna Hang?"). Chloe also has Jeremy drink alcohol, causing the SQUIP to malfunction, and then feigns having sex with him, angering Jake and breaking Brooke's heart.

Fleeing from Jake and the girls, Jeremy runs into a bathroom, where he finds Michael, who has crashed the party. Michael tries to warn Jeremy of the dangers of the SQUIP, explaining that someone ended up in a mental hospital after they went crazy trying to get it out of their head. Jeremy accuses Michael of being jealous of his popularity and calls him a loser. Michael, devastated and angry, locks himself in the bathroom, where he has a panic attack and sensory overload as he mourns the loss of his best and only friend ("Michael in the Bathroom"). Jeremy talks to Christine without the SQUIP's help and he asks her out in a burst of confidence ("A Guy That I'd Kinda Be Into (Reprise)"). Christine, who has found herself in an existential crisis after breaking up with Jake, declines.

Meanwhile, Rich goes around the party frantically asking people for Mountain Dew Red. Jeremy's SQUIP finally reactivates and reviews the events of the night, prompting Jeremy to leave the party immediately. Rich, alone and desperate, talks to his SQUIP and then sets the house on fire. The next morning, Jenna Rolan, the school gossip, informs everyone that Rich had burned down Jake's house at the end of the party, sending Rich to the hospital and causing Jake to break both of his legs jumping out of a window while trying to escape. The news spreads throughout the school through text and tweeting ("The Smartphone Hour (Rich Set a Fire)").

At home, Jeremy is confronted by his father (still not wearing pants), who brings up Jeremy's new personality and change in attitude. Jeremy reprimands his father for his behavior since the divorce, calling him a loser as well. Shaken by Jeremy's words, Mr. Heere realizes that something is very wrong and that he must take charge. He tracks down Michael and asks him to not give up on his friend. Michael reluctantly agrees to help, on the condition that Mr. Heere puts on some pants and becomes a better father ("The Pants Song").

As the cast prepares for the play, Jeremy encounters Christine, who is shaken and upset about the fire. Jeremy is unhappy with the relationships he has damaged and angrily blames the SQUIP for his misfortunes. The SQUIP instead blames it on "human error" and tells Jeremy he can improve the lives of the rest of the students, and eventually the whole world, by providing them all with SQUIPs. In Rich's locker, Jeremy finds a box full of SQUIPs, which Jeremy then pours into a beaker of Mountain Dew ("The Pitiful Children").

Backstage during the play, Christine confronts Jeremy over his use of the SQUIP, causing him to doubt the plan. However, the SQUIP has already begun to take over others in the play. The SQUIP reveals its intention to sync the entire student body, and then the whole world. Jeremy comes to a realization: Mountain Dew activates the SQUIP, while Mountain Dew Red deactivates it. Michael reappears from the audience with a bottle of Mountain Dew Red, which he gives to Jeremy after making him apologize for his actions, but a SQUIPed Jake dumps most of it out. Jeremy and Michael fight off the controlled students until the SQUIP reveals that Christine has been SQUIPed, and under its influence, she professes her love for Jeremy. Jeremy, however, realizes this is not what he had wanted and makes Christine drink the last of the red Mountain Dew: this causes a chain reaction that destroys the rest of the SQUIPS ("The Play").

Jeremy wakes up in the hospital, sharing a room with Rich, who proudly comes out to Jeremy as bisexual and is ready to finally be who he really is. Michael visits Jeremy and the two reconcile, and Mr. Heere (finally wearing pants) visits Jeremy as well, informing him that he'll be a better dad. Surrounded by his friends and family, Jeremy realizes that there will always be outside influences, but he needs to learn to make up his own mind instead. He asks Christine out again (for bowling alley performance art), and this time she accepts and kisses him. The SQUIP reveals itself to still be alive, weakly taunting Jeremy from inside his head, but Jeremy ignores it, happily proclaiming that "of all the voices in my head, the loudest one is mine" ("Voices in My Head").

[rotationalsymmetry]

Good morning world. And do you know what I’m thinking about this morning? Keiko (chill, autocorrect) on Deep Space Nine.

Partly because I’ve been thinking about how the show’s done her wrong since a few episodes into Season 1. Partly because, in the wake of the Atlanta shooting, it’s clearly past time to talk about how women of Asian descent are depicted in the media.

Rather go on and on about what the show did wrong, I’m going to start with what it did right, then move on into some suggestions for plot lines that might have gotten the audience into Keiko’s (and perhaps her daughter Molly’s) head better. Feel free to borrow for fanfic purposes. (And let me know if you do, or if someone else wrote some good Keiko and/or Molly fanfic I might enjoy.)

What's right: she’s a, not core character, but sort of second tier character who is on the show often. She has a respectable role: she’s a well-educated professional whose work is important to her, and a wife and mother. We also get hints of her having a life beyond that — not as much as I’d like, but for example at one point in the first season she’s away visiting her mother, and when she’s pregnant with her second child she keeps leading an active life. I think the show strikes an appropriate balance on sexuality: she’s married, we’re pretty sure she and Miles have sex, but she’s not presented as a sex object. And we don’t see her suffering more trauma than the other characters. As of where I'm currently at in Season 6, she's alive, and I have every reason to believe she'll stay alive through the end of the show. (A quick look at Memory Alpha confirms this.) Good stuff.

(She’s also in The Next Gen — parts of that I haven’t watched and others were a while back, so I’m going to stick to talking about her role in DS9.)

And...very nearly all the episodes she’s in, are very firmly from Mile’s perspective and not hers. (Even storylines that really should be about her: when she’s experiencing frustration at not being able to pursue her career and ends up going back to work, that episode is entirely from Mile’s perspective. She barely speaks a word in it.)

Contrast this to how Benjamin Sisko’s son and father are shown: Jake very much gets his own storylines and own life, and relationships that aren’t primarily about his father, even though his dad has a more central role in the show (and we definitely see their relationship from Benjamin’s perspective as well), and even though we rarely see Grandpa Sisko (huh, apparently his name is Joseph), you immediately get the sense of him as a strong-willed person who lives life on his own terms, and when he and Ben have conflicts you can understand his perspective easily. In spite of relatively little screen-time. Keiko gets far more screen time, but far less interiority. She’s presented in a way that’s hard to empathize with. And there’s less of a sense of who she is as an individual rather than as a role.

(BTW, if we got to see Keiko’s perspective more, whose would we see less of? Maybe Miles, who gets quite a lot of focus. Maybe Quark, maybe Julian...basically, I’m pretty sure if I went through the season and marked down which episodes were primarily about male characters vs primarily about female characters vs pretty balanced, the ratio would be telling. And it’s not like I don’t like the male characters (well, maybe I could do with less Quark) but... I don’t like them so much that I think the show is better for having shorted the women.)

I want to see Keiko have friends. I want to see her talk to other parents on the ship as a parent. That episode where Keiko’s off station and Miles has to figure out how to get their new baby to stay asleep? I want an episode where Miles is gone and Keiko has parenting struggles. Where we get into old conflicts between her and her mother or father that she has to work through as a parent herself. (This is not an unrealistic expectation -- we got that for Odo in one episode, and we got a similar thing with Kira processing her father's death while another character was dying.) I want Molly to go on her first sleep-over and Keiko to have conflicted feelings about her daughter growing up and for Molly to have conflicted feelings where she’s excited but...also kinda misses her mom.

I want to see how Keiko’s explaining the Dominion war to Molly and what she’s skipping over. I want to see Keiko worried about her husband (which, granted, we’ve seen that) and getting emotional support from someone else (which we haven’t really.) I want to see Keiko pursuing a hobby other than gardening. I want her to be really excited to introduce Molly to something that she loved growing up. (Specifically a Japanese cultural thing or not.) I want her to take Molly to a holosuite program that shows some Japanese architecture or history or gardens. I want there to be some conversation about language — sure, universal translators, but what do people speak on their own, and what does Molly grow up speaking?

(They’ve got an interracial/inter-cultural relationship and explore absolutely nothing about that.)

Since Keiko was a teacher for a while, is she absolutely obsessing over homeschooling Molly now that there’s no school?

I’m not sure I want to see Miles and Keiko have a “no one’s right” disagreement over how to raise their children, but that’s certainly a thing that could have happened. Or could happen indirectly: Miles isn’t the talking type and yet everyone on the station knows when he’s having wife troubles and are willing to give him advice. Who does Keiko get relationship advice from?

When Keiko and Miles are apart and Miles spends all his time playing darts with Julian or reenacting battles with Julian, who is Keiko connecting with?

(Side note: one thing that Brandon Sanderson does well in his fantasy novels such as the Mistborn Trilogy, is couples that are balanced in power and narrative significance. The show made a choice to have Miles be a more central character than Keiko. There’s no intrinsic reason they couldn’t have been on the same level of narrative significance.) (But even if they were going to be at unequal levels of significance, Keiko still could have been done much better.)

(And you’ll notice the show is almost going out of its way to avoid having any female characters with less significant recurring love interests. When they partner up Kira, it’s not with some guy who’s just nice and fun or a supportive boyfriend (someone analogous to what Leeta is for Julian or later Rom), somehow even though she’s one of the most powerful characters in the show (she’s second in command on the station) she keeps getting partnered up with characters who have more religious or civil power than she does, and who become very narratively significant at least for a little while. Female characters can be just love interests or family members, male characters have to be doing something big and important.)

I think the show overdoes romance, so this wouldn’t be my first choice, but...having an old flame of Keiko’s show up could be a thing that happened. Or having a thing where she notices an interesting stranger, and of course nothing happens because she’s married, but we still get to see Keiko as, you know, a woman with desires and interests that don’t always fit perfectly into her respectable well-ordered life. We could see mirror universe Keiko — I wonder what she’s like. Or some time travel alternate timeline story where she’s with someone else, or single and enjoying the single life. (Surely even if Keiko is overall happy with her life, surely sometimes she must wonder about the roads not taken.) We could have some indication that she too misses Miles when they’re not together, or we could see her excited to get more time away or get their quarters to herself while he’s away, or both because people are complicated.

What are Molly’s adventures? Who is she best friends with? Where’s her tension between growing up and becoming her own person vs wanting her parents’ love and approval? Where’s the episode where we’re all wait, she’s really not a little toddler any more, is she?

(We don’t even know what Molly thinks about having a baby brother — and that’s a huge, highly dramatic change in the life of a child.)

Where’s the episode where she desperately wants some pet that her parents don’t want her to have, or desperately wants some toy or activity that one or both thinks is unsafe, or where she wants to be on a sports team but there aren’t enough kids on the station, or where she has to say goodbye to the Bajoran friends she made, or she starts playing make believe games involving evacuating the station...

What if we got to see Keiko’s mother and learn something about her or the family history? What if Keiko had some aunt or uncle or sibling who showed up on the station some time, what might their relationship be like? Is there some family hero that Keiko’s always encouraging Molly to grow up to be like?

If the show’s writers truly couldn’t handle writing a child that young, this is Star Trek and we have time travel — there’s no reason we couldn’t have an episode involving future grown up Molly O’Brien.

What if we got some terribly retconned explanation for why Keiko, a professionally trained botanist, was mysteriously ready and eager to step into schoolteacher mode even though that’s its own profession that requires years of specialized higher education? Did...did Keiko for some reason study to be a teacher, have something go wrong, and then go with botany as Life Pursuits Take 2? (Perhaps she was pushed into being a teacher then decided she loved botany more? But she didn’t actually dislike teaching?)

What if we actually got an episode centered around her being a botanist and exploring alien plants? There’s possibilities there — heck, one of the most popular TOS episodes centered around space wheat, so why not? I want an alien planet where all the plants are yellow or hot pink because they photosynthesize with something other than chlorophyll. Why not? (Did you know there’s an old school Piers Anthony sci fi book about killer mushrooms? Not joking.)

She’s the only woman of color who’s a regular character on the show throughout the whole series. She’s one of the few Asian-descent women who’s on American TV at all. She deserved better.

And I think we should talk about how she, and other characters, could have been written better.

[lone-wolf-howls-xiv]

LFRP: Terran Zeddicus

The Basics ––– –

Age: 22

Birthday: 17th Sun of the 4th Umbral Moon (Aug 17)

Race: Hyur (Highlander...sorta.)

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Heterosexual

Server: Balmung

Physical Appearance ––– –

Hair: Jet black, kept short these days. Ish. Sometimes he lets it grow out and get kinda unruly. Always seems to be in his face, though.

Eyes: Blue.

Height: 6'1″

Build: Muscular.

Distinguishing Marks: Very muscular. There's a singular, yet very deep, scar on his left pectoral. Whoever left it there meant business. If his gloves are off, there are all sorts of different scars decorating his hands.

Common Accessories: His bandanna. It's actually a scarf of sorts that was gifted to him by @nerium-indicum-xiv​ when they first met, and now you never see him without it. At least, if he can get away with it.

Personal ––– –

Profession: Assassin for hire. Do I really need to explain any further?

Hobbies: Does drinking count as a hobby? 'Cause if it does... Sometimes he sings, but that's usually only when he's alone. He can play the piano. Sometimes, his Lotus buddies drag him to a club. He reeeeally likes working out and climbing buildings. Make some parkour jokes, he's here for it. 

Languages: Too many. Kinda comes with the job.

Residence: Somewhere in Ul'dah? He doesn't exactly bring anybody home.

Birthplace: He's not big on telling.

Fears: It's not so much a fear as it is an absolute nightmare.

Relationships ––– -

Parents: Drais Zeddicus and Liara Sinclair.

Siblings: Reli and Matty.

Pets: He made friends with a lizard he found in the middle of the road in Ul'dah once, and it seems to be everywhere now. You can't make this shit up. He calls him Jake.

Traits ––– -

Extroverted / In Between / Introverted

Disorganized / In Between / Organized

Close Minded / In Between / Open Minded

Calm / In Between / Anxious

Disagreeable / In Between / Agreeable

Cautious / In Between / Reckless

Patient / In Between /  Impatient

Outspoken / In Between / Reserved

Leader / In Between / Follower

Empathetic / In Between / Apathetic

Optimistic / In Between / Pessimistic

Traditional / In Between / Modern

Hard-working / In Between / Lazy

Cultured / In Between / Uncultured

Loyal / In Between / Disloyal

Faithful / In Between / Unfaithful

Additional information ––– –

Smoking Habit: Rarely. Drugs: Nah. Alcohol: Like an absolute fish.

RP Hooks ––– –

Ul’dah Pleasure Houses - Yeah… That one’s self-explanatory.

Ishgard - The family is from there. Theeeere’s a chance.

Bounties! Contracts! - He is most definitely an assassin-for-hire. While one might not speak to him directly for work, perhaps said contract caused you to cross paths, either as a customer, or a mark.

…Other stuff! - He’s always up for friends, both old and new, and I’m all for pre-established relationships (of the non-romantic variety, anyway.). Just hit me up!

Contact Information  ––– –

I’m available for RP in-game as Terran Zeddicus. I work a weird schedule, 3-4 days (Wed-Sat) a week (the fourth day, Saturday, rotates every other week) from 7PM-7AM. This makes me the supreme overlord of being totally understandable about slow replies or people not being able to be around all that often.

That said, I’m always down for friends. Hit me up!

@mooglemeet​  @ffxiv-crystal-rp

[jawnjendes]

shawn meets... | aria

SUMMARY: in the life of a rockstar, shawn mendes comes across some unique people. sometimes, things stray from the norm. (AU, shawn x every one of my oc’s)(continuation of goth gf)

AN: time jump lmao. sry in advance.

***let me know if you wanna be added to the taglist

previous chapter

aria’s [abandonded] origin story | aria’s playlist | masterlist

Eight months later.

Shawn was beyond tired. Shawn was not allowed to be tired. Shawn, the sun has almost gone down and we still have so much to do today! Stop sleeping and pay attention!

Honestly, nobody was keeping track of how many interviews had been done today. Shawn should have kept track, that way he would know how many were left before he was done for the day. He was only half listening to what his manager Andrew was saying.

“A lot of Internet stars want you these days,” he said. “This girl was the only one who had something interesting to do with you. Good thing you stayed in your sweats today.”

Oh yeah. A majority of the interviews Shawn did today were done over the phone. For some goddamn reason, he and his whole team had to move from place to place for each one. This was annoying, and this was Hollywood, apparently. At least he didn’t have to change for this interview, whatever it was going to be.

Andrew was leading the team through a plaza somewhere in Los Angeles. Shawn was just on autopilot at this point. He took a dinner break a couple of hours ago, but he just wanted to be done already. He wanted to go to bed, even if he wasn’t planning on sleeping. He couldn’t really sleep these days, and it was by choice.

The team stopped in front of a door that said “DANCE STUDIO” in white letters. As usual, Andrew made Shawn wait outside with Jake the bodyguard while the rest of the team went inside. It was a moment to let things sink in and breathe while he was almost alone. Shawn had to put on his happy mask once again, even if it was the last thing he felt.

“How you holding up?” Jake asked, watching him carefully.

Shawn knew what he was asking, but shrugged it off. “Just a little tired.”

“Nightmare,” he said with a nod.

“What? No, I don’t have those anymore.”

“I wasn’t asking, I’m telling you.”

He stayed quiet. It’s not like anything could be done about it right now. There’s other things to worry about. Andrew always told Shawn just to not think about it. Think about happier things, like walking into this damn studio.

Andrew came out of the room after a few minutes, gesturing for them to enter. Here goes another round of answering the same questions he’s been asked all day.

There were two studio lights stood on either side of a camera set up in front of the mirrors that spanned across the wall. It wasn’t the huge Hollywood set up he had gotten used to. There were chairs lined up against the wall away from the camera, and there was no crew either, just two girls handling everything. The life of YouTubers.

A blonde girl in glasses was fixing the lens on the camera, but she looked up and smiled at Shawn when he entered the room. The other girl with curly brown hair was doing the splits in the middle of the hardwood floor. She looked up as well, and was quick to get up and greet him.

"Hi! I'm Aria Mercer, it's so nice to meet you!"

Aria was very short, given that her head was tilted up to look Shawn in the eyes. She was in red sweats and a One Direction tee, making him feel better about his drab appearance.

"And I'm Sophie Jensen!" said the blonde as she approached the group. "We've heard so much about you! We love your music!"

Shawn grinned. "Thank you, it's nice to meet you too."

"So, you showed up in the appropriate attire, that's good," Aria said. "You ready to dance?"

Shawn's eyes widened. "That's what we're doing?"

"Your people didn't tell you?" Aria shot a mock disappointed look to his team, who had all collectively went to sit in the chairs against the wall. "But yeah, I'll be teaching you a few simple moves. Nothing dangerous or strenuous."

Sophie went back to the camera, looking into the viewfinder and pressing a button. "It's recording. Whenever you guys are ready."

For once, Shawn was glad Brian wasn't here to witness this. Lucky bastard got to go back to the hotel early. Still, he was going to see this in the foreseeable future, and that was enough to make Shawn nervous.

"Gotta warn you," he said to Aria, "I'm a huge klutz."

"It's okay, we'll have fun!" she reassured, and she reached over to rub his arm.

Her tiny hand left so many tingles on his skin. Shawn resisted the urge to scratch it away as Aria greeted the camera.

She didn't obnoxiously project her voice like other YouTubers. She wasn't like the rich socialites who were running the platform these days. She was a dancer, and she was bubbly and full of energy.

"Have you ever danced before?" she asked Shawn.

"I literally fall over twenty times a day," he replied. "Dancing feels out of my element, but I'm down to learning."

Aria giggled. "And you've got me as your teacher, so everything will be okay."

The first thing she taught him was the formation for a simple ballet turn. Shawn learned very quickly that standing on one leg with your toes pointed was challenging, to say the least.

"Okay, stay like that," Aria said, stepping towards him. "Let me fix your posture."

Shawn wanted to laugh, but he would lose his balance. He looked at his reflection in the mirror, Aria circling his body.

"Okay, relax your shoulders," she said, patting the area, "but squeeze your back muscles, it'll keep you straight. And squeeze your butt muscles too, it'll keep your legs straight."

She didn't touch that area, but her tiny hands were low on his hips. "Hm, so broad. You definitely have a dancer's body."

"Thanks?" he strained out.

"Elongate your neck as well, chin up."

His muscles were starting to hurt, clearly not used to having them flexed this way. He quickly gave out and lost the position.

"You do all that just when you turn?" he asked Aria.

"Claro que sí! And that's just the surface. There's spotting so you don't lose balance. And then there's the art of making it looks graceful and effortless."

With that, she did the turn. No, she did a pirouette, maybe five turns in a row. Shawn had a new appreciation for dancers now.

Aria taught him more moves, like the five positions of ballet. They were simple enough, but Shawn felt like his ankle might pop off during fifth position. He felt quite goofy with his arms up in the air, but Aria looked, as she said, graceful.

"And back to fourth, and plie," she said, bending her knees.

It looked easy, Shawn never skipped leg day. But with the position his feet were in, he was far from elegant. He couldn't help but laugh at how ridiculous he looked in the mirror.

"I take it you've danced your whole life?" he asked her.

"I have. And back to first."

"What's, like, the craziest move you can do?" he asked, now curious. He also wanted to see how flexible this girl was.

Aria tapped her finger to her chin as she thought about it. "Huh… good question. A fouette, I think. Either that, or an aerial."

"I have no idea what either of those things are, you have to show me."

An aerial, he quickly learned, is a no handed cartwheel. Aria took three large steps and practically did a front flip. Again, she was graceful as hell and made Shawn feel inadequate even though this wasn't a profession he planned to pursue.

A fouette was an incredibly complex turn that left Aria panting after she did ten in a row. She was a fucking champ.

When the video was done, the team was quick to rush Shawn, surround him, and get him to the next location. For once, he wasn't having it. He was quite taken with Aria after the short 30 minutes he spent with her.

"Wait!" he snapped, yanking his arm out of Jake's grasp. "Can't I thank our lovely host?"

Aria, who had quickly occupied herself by talking to Sophie, looked up in his direction.

"We have to go!" Andrew strictly told him.

"Just give me a minute!" Shawn said back.

With several stern looks, the team backed off. Shawn then approached Aria with more confidence than he should have had after being brutally humbled by the art of dance.

He put on his best smile. "Hey, just wanted to thank you for the experience."

"No problem." She smiled. "Showing people the way of dance is kinda my thing."

"Well, you're really good at it."

"Aw, thanks!"

Shawn looked at her, then at Sophie. Then, he gently took Aria's shoulder and led her away from the other girl. He cleared his throat before speaking again.

"Look, uh, tell me if this is too forward, but… I was wondering if you wanted to come by my hotel later tonight."

Her brown eyes widened, and then she looked down. "Dio mío. ¿En serio?"

Shawn blinked. "You just spoke Spanish."

"Sorry, I'm just a little thrown off. You're being serious?" She was blushing.

"Yeah. Kinda wanna see what else you can do with those legs." He smirked.

"Me va a dar algo," Aria mumbled. Then, she caught herself. "This is crazy."

He tilted his head. "How so?"

She chewed her lip as she looked at him. There was a look in her eyes that held the answer to his request. "You ever had like… a free pass? Like, you and your significant other talk about your crushes and which celebrity you'd go for. You're my free pass."

Shawn raised his eyebrows, flattered. "So that's a yes?"

Confliction spread on her features. "How long are you in town for?"

"I leave tomorrow." His heart started to race.

"I'll message you on Twitter later, okay? I, uh, need to see if I have something already planned."

"We have nothing planned!" called Sophie, obviously eavesdropping.

Aria's cheeks went even more pink as she looked at Shawn. "Okay, I guess I'm free!"

"Awesome. I'll send you the address." Shawn winked, even though he wasn't very good at it.

Still, Aria was beaming as she went back to her friend.

~

The only person who was supportive of this impulsive decision was Brian. It was a good thing Shawn brought him along on this weirdly wonderful journey. Shawn told him everything over dinner with the team, leaving out some details of the dancing part.

Brian high fived his friend. "It's about time you come back to your old self! Shawn the bachelor, revived!"

Shawn couldn't quite remember his old self. He hardly had any time to think about it. Brian sometimes reminded him of that old self, it was good to have him here.

"She was really hesitant," he said, "she might not even show up."

"But you took the initiative, and that's a good sign! Besides, if she ghosts you, it won't be hard to find someone else."

That was mildly comforting. More fish in the sea, and Shawn's sea recently expanded.

"Gotta get under someone to get over someone," Brian added.

Shawn couldn't argue with that. This Aria Mercer girl was a good place to start, given that she was completely different from the last girl he was with. This girl was smaller, and more bubbly. Flexible. Amazing curly hair. Shawn could definitely get down with someone who wears more than just one color.

If only he could find beauty in color again.

It wasn't until he was back in his hotel did Shawn start getting nervous. He sent Aria the address and his room number through a Twitter DM, forgetting to add a cheeky "can't wait to see you." After that, he jumped in the shower. Sure, it was just a measly hookup, but he wanted to be clean at least. He even made the effort to order a bottle of patrón to the room.

The bottle was delivered by the time Aria notified him of her arrival. Shawn thanked the room service person with a crisp twenty and quickly ushered them out. Shawn placed the patrón and two glasses on the table, and then checked his reflection in the mirror.

He took a deep breath to calm his nerves, but still jumped when there was a soft knock on the door. Maybe he should have waited an extra thirty seconds, because Aria still had her fist up when Shawn wandered.

She quickly put her arm down and grinned. "Hey."

"Hi. Come in," Shawn said.

His heart was pounding wildly when the two of them were officially shut inside the hotel room. Aria walked in front of him, making him get a look at her bare legs in tiny pink shorts. She placed her tiny backpack on one of chairs at the table.

Shawn noticed the golden lightning bolt and two clear circles on the pack, piquing his interest.

"You like Harry Potter?"

"Hm? Yeah!" Aria said. "I'm obsessed."

"What house are you?"

"Hufflepuff! You?"

Of course the first girl he hooks up with in months is the same Hogwarts house as-

"Gryffindor," he replied.

"Cool."

Silence fell between the two of them as they stood in front of the bed. Aria looked around the room, biting her nails. Shawn couldn't figure out how to step into the next part of this night. He wasn't typically nervous or awkward, but that was only because before this, he was getting intimate with the same person consistently. There was no reason to be nervous then.

"So, uh…" he trailed off.

"Do we just…?" Aria asked, taking a few steps closer.

Neither of them remembered hookups being this awkward.

"Do you want a drink?" Shawn asked, but Aria spoke over him.

"Come closer."

So he did, feeling his heart in his throat. Nervous energy radiated all over, it was almost suffocating. It wasn't the fun type of nervous.

"Closer," Aria said softly.

There was an inch of space left between them. Shawn was looking at her, but she wouldn't return the gaze. He gently placed his hands on her upper arms, slowly moving his head closer, bending more than usual given the height difference. This was like a bandaid that needed to be ripped off. Once that was done, then everything else could come naturally.

"I can't do this," Aria said when their noses were touching, her voice slicing through the silence like a knife.

He moved back, removing himself from her completely. His body suddenly felt much less tense, almost relieved. Before he could even think of anything to say, Aria kept talking.

"I thought I could do it because you're my free pass, and you're insanely gorgeous. But I need to be honest - I have a boyfriend."

Shawn felt his stomach drop. "You-"

"But he gave me his blessing!" Aria frantically interrupted. "I texted him, and he sent me a voice clip of his approval! You can listen if you don't believe me!"

She hurried to her Hogwarts bag, opening up the zipper and digging inside. Meanwhile, Shawn sat down on the bed, his mind spiraling.

He wouldn't have been able to do this either. Come to think of it, he wasn't even that attracted to Aria. He hardly knew her, apart from the fact that she posts dancing videos on YouTube. Hell, he didn't even think about what he wanted to do with her, he just went through the motions.

Aria turned back to Shawn, phone in hand. She stopped in her tracks, noticing his hunched shoulders. "Are you okay?"

Shawn didn't really speak of the ache in his heart to anyone. Again, there was just no time. Sometimes he was tempted to call Camila on the rare days off, but she was just as busy these days. He thought about texting Alessia, but she didn't speak to him anymore. Shawn didn't talk about it, but keeping it in wasn't doing it anymore.

"You were honest with me, so I owe you just the same," he began. "I only wanted to do this because I'm going through a breakup."

He expected her to scoff, or make some comment about how pathetic he is, but Aria simply sat down next to him. Her brown eyes were soft and sympathetic.

"Getting over someone by getting under someone." She echoed Brian's words. "I've been there."

"Hey, I'm sorry for putting you in this position-"

"It's okay," she said, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Hey, I did the same thing when I was twenty years old. Actually, the guy I'm dating now was one of my rebounds."

Shawn cleared his throat. "Is that how you ended up together?"

"Nah, that's a whole other story. But while we're being honest, I have to tell you. Sleeping around isn't gonna heal your broken heart. A wise man once said that numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it."

Ain't that the fucking truth. Shawn felt the ache deep in his bones. It hurt so much it knocked the wind out of him.

"Did you love that person?" Aria asked after a moment.

Shawn couldn't stop himself. "I was so in love with her. She was the first person I ever loved, and it was everything I could have asked for."

"And it feels like you'll never find that again," Aria continued, rubbing his back.

Shawn nodded and took a breath. "Look, I'm sorry I'm dumping this on you. This is probably the opposite of what you expected to happen."

To his surprise, she grinned. "You're lucky I'm nice and have a need to protect heartbroken individuals. If you had hit up my friend Sophie, she would have kicked you while you were down. Besides, sometimes it's just easier to vent to a stranger."

Well, she wasn't wrong about that. Shawn felt more ramblings bubbling up the longer he sat with her. So maybe he would end up spending the night with Aria Mercer.

"Tell me about you, though," he told her. "I don't want this whole thing to be depressing."

The two of them sat up against the headboard, chatting for a while. Shawn learned a little bit more about Aria. She's been dancing since she was a toddler, but she took a hiatus from it after graduating high school. Her favorite color is red, she's a Virgo, and she graduated from that fancy university for vloggers two years prior. That's where she met her first love.

"I got really lucky that the first guy I dated was my first real love," she explained.

"The guy you're with now?" Shawn asked.

"No. That's Joe. My first love was named Dan," she said. "I gotta say, it's been almost five years since we broke up - and I'm very happy with Joe - but a small part of me is still soft for my ex."

Shawn nodded his head as he listened. "Why did you guys break up?"

Aria opened her mouth to answer, but she gave him a look. "You first."

"Fine, but we're opening that patrón."

She giggled. "Okay. I'll pour the glasses, you start talking."

For a moment, Shawn thought about it, thought about Ann. He hasn't seen her since the breakup. He has been back to Toronto in the four months they've been apart, but he never went looking for her. Why would he?

"She… she's insanely private," he began as Aria returned to the bed with two glasses. "She didn't want me talking about her in interviews, or even to my friends. I mean, people in our circle knew about us, but she always thought I was going to tell everyone her secrets or something."

"So paranoia was the cause?"

"I wouldn't say paranoia. I know she wanted her privacy, and I tried very hard to respect it. But people still managed to find her social media and some went to the extent of following us around in public."

Aria made a face. "Oof. I know what that's like."

"Yeah. I kept waiting for her to ask me to stay before they flew me out here. Kept waiting for her to tell me to drop everything and stay with her. But she never did. She pushed me to pursue this, and she chose to stay behind."

"That shows that she really loved you. She wouldn't let you give up all of this for her. We all make sacrifices for our careers."

Those words sunk in as they both took a drink. Shawn screwed his eyes shut momentarily as the bitter taste consumed him.

"Isn't all of this supposed to be worth it?" he wondered. "I know she's not the only girl out there, and she was incredibly different from me. But I haven't gotten the studio time I was promised. I haven't written a song in weeks. All I've been doing are photoshoots and interviews!"

Aria shifted in her seat, kicking off her shoes. "Hey, it will be worth it! Look, me and my ex broke up for kinda the same thing. He's also a YouTuber, and he was gonna go on tour. He asked me to go with him, to drop out of uni, but we were already falling apart. I just knew there wouldn't be room for me in his world. So we broke up, and I stayed in school. In that time, I formed a dance group, I got to interview one of my favorite bands, and I protested the shutdown of our campus."

Shawn took another sip of his glass. "Have you talked to your ex since?"

"Nope! Actually, he came out as gay last year, and I sent him a congratulatory tweet. He didn't reply." She chuckled sheepishly before draining her glass.

The two of them looked at each other for a moment. Then, Aria made a face, screwing up her eyes.

“We’re not pretending that this is good, right?” She held up her glass.

“Hey, it cushions the blow,” Shawn replied.

She scoffed and began typing on her phone. “You like slushies? Tacos? I’m postmating Taco Bell.”

Soon enough, they were munching on a 12-pack of mediocre tacos and putting patrón in their large Mountain Dew slushies. The mood lightened a lot quicker, and soon they were talking about other things. Soon, Shawn was laughing and half the patrón was gone. Boundaries and walls were coming down.

“What band did you interview?” Shawn asked.

“Five sauce,” Aria said. “It wasn’t even an interview. I made a dance to one of their songs and taught it to them. It was a jokey-joke video, but I got to talk to them and thank them for making amazing music.”

She pulled up the video on her phone and showed it to him. It was pretty hilarious to see the members of 5 Seconds of Summer try to dance as well as Aria did. It was like the video she did with Shawn today.

“I wanna meet them,” he said wistfully. “And I wanna meet Niall Horan.”

Aria gasped. “I love One Direction! Is Niall your favorite?”

“Honey, you have no idea.”

They talked about celebrity crushes. Aria’s were Demi Lovato, Liam Payne, and, still, Shawn.

“And I still didn’t make the cut,” he joked.

Aria smacked him shoulder. “We got this far. But evidently, I love my mans too much.”

“More than your ex?”

“Oh yeah.” Aria grinned to herself.

“You said his name is Joe, right? Is he a YouTuber too?”

That was when they fell down a YouTube rabbit hole. Aria showed Shawn her boyfriend’s videos, the ones she was in prior to their relationship. Apparently, they were friends for five years before becoming an item last fall.

“I don’t wanna talk too much about my love life, though,” she said. “Y’know, knowing that yours is…”

Shawn waved it off. “Hey, I’m feeling a buzz. I love love, even if I don’t have it. Tell me, girl.”

Aria thought for a moment. “Okay, here’s a fun fact. Me and Joe saw Bella’s video that had you in it.”

He gasped softly. “Really?”

“Uh-huh! So Joe looked you up on Spotify and, and it was raining too! We had a cozy day with blankets and kissing and stuff and we listened to your music. And…” She paused, smiling softly. “When You’re Ready was playing the first time I told him that I love him.”

“Dude… that’s fucking beautiful.” Shawn placed a hand on his chest and sniffed. “I wrote that song about my ex.”

Aria scoffed. “Well, now it’s about me and Joe! It’s a Jaria song!”

Shawn was going to remember that. It’s a Jaria song.

“Why don’t you just go to him now?” he asked her.

“He lives in London,” she replied. “I want to live with him, but neither of us can agree on a place to live. He likes it hot, I like it cold. I don’t wanna be too far from family. We’ve still got our careers to think about.”

“But you were going to hook up with me?”

“Because he told me I can! Look!” She picked up her phone again and played a voice clip.

A male, British voice filled the room. “Well, how often do you get to say you fucked Shawn Mendes? Go on, love, have your fun. But if Dianne ever comes round again, I’m shooting my shot!”

“Who’s Dianne?” Shawn asked.

Aria waved it off. “No one. But do you see? I was telling you the truth. Joe and I fucked a lot in the past and fucked other people too! It’s kind of an open relationship, or… it was. I need to talk to him about that now.”

“Wow…” A memory came to mind. “My ex wanted to fuck one of the girls from Little Mix.”

Aria sat up on her knees. “I love Little Mix! I’ve choreographed so many dances to their songs!”

“Show me!”

If Aria was sober she might not have done it. She stood up in front of the bed and performed little snippets to four different Little Mix songs. She was so passionate and happy. If only she was single, and if only Shawn wasn’t hung up on some flowers…

~

They didn’t sleep together, but they shared a bed. They both woke up early the next morning to loud knocking on the door. Having been through this for a few months, Shawn didn’t have to guess what it was. He was probably running late to something, or the team was just in a hurry to get the day started.

“I’m sorry,” Shawn sleepily mumbled. “You’re gonna face my manager.”

“Fun,” she mumbled back.

She rolled out of bed quicker than he had anticipated. She grabbed her shoes and stumbled to her Harry Potter bag on the table. Then, she gave Shawn a salute.

“See ya round, rockstar.”

“Hey,” Shawn called as he sat up. “Thanks for sticking around. I know you didn’t have to, and I really appreciate it.”

She smiled. “Let me know when you’re in LA or London or something. Maybe you’ll get to meet Joe.”

“Yeah, I’ll let you know.”

“And listen, don’t let your people push you around all the time. They work for you. Demand more studio time if-”

More sharp knocks. Aria sighed.

“You have more power than you think,” she continued. “Demand more studio time. Demand counseling if you really need it. Don’t let them take advantage of you.”

Shawn nodded, feeling a pit in his stomach. “Thank you, Aria.” He stood up and went for a hug, his chin barely touching the top of her head. Who knew a girl that small could be so powerful?

Anyway, Aria made a quick but polite greeting to Andrew as she exited the hotel room. As soon as she was gone, the team filled her absence. Tiffany walked in pulling a clothing rack with today’s outfit choices. Anna came in with her bag of makeup and hair products, gesturing for Shawn to come sit in the chair by the table. Jake walked in looking strong and mighty as hell. Brian was the last one to enter, two coffees in hand.

He had an eager grin on his face as he approached his friend. “How was she?” he asked, handing him a coffee.

Before Shawn could answer, Andrew piped up.

“Speaking of women,” he said, “since you want to get over someone, we got someone else for you to theoretically get under. I talked to Justin on the phone last night, and he thinks it’s time everyone saw the romantic side of Shawn Mendes.”

“I don’t want a girlfriend,” Shawn said. “Actually, I have some stuff I wanna talk to you about.”

Andrew said nothing as he typed on his phone. When he finished that tasked, he disregarded everything his client had said. “You’ll like this girl. She’s a friend of yours, after all.”

next chapter

_______

taglist: @normalcyisoverrated-beyou @justordinaryjen @chillingbythesea @iloveshawnieboi @shawnsunflower @someoneunimportantxx 

[dean-bluesteel-winchester-spnfam]

Every question.

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?Ohhh yes ;)

2. You talked to an ex today, correct?Nope. I never saw Cassie again since I saved her more than ten years ago. Lisa doesn’t even remember me. And Robin? Nope I visit her once at the restaurant she works at but that was also a long time ago.And I mean... why would I?

3. Have you taken someones virginity?Yeah I did.

4. Is trust a big issue for you?Actually yeah. I mean I got myself a family that I trust but it was always hard for me to start trusting someone. Now when I do trust someone, then it isn’t an issue anymore.

5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently?‘Hang out’ heh? That’s how the kids call it today? But really, of course I do. Woke up next to him a few hours ago.

6. What are you excited for?Don’t tell anyone. Maybe christmas. Definitively for my wedding.

7. What happened tonight?Hmm. I made dinner, we watched a movie. Cas was telling me about some new facts about bees. I tried to teach him pool. He disctracted me. We went to bed ;)

8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted?What even is this question? Get wasted if you wanrt. Just be safe.

9. Is confidence cute?I think so.

10. What is the last beverage you had?Whiskey.

11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?Eh let’s see. Mom, Jody, Donna, Ellen, Jo, Charlie, Claire, Alex. So eight.

12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans?Ugh. Yeah. But I never wore them. Dunno. Probably look stupid.

13. What are you gonna do Saturday night?Trying to teach Cas pool again. Or maybe watch a movie and just enjoy a nice day without almost dying.

14. What are you going to spend money on next?Hmmm good question. Probably pie. But I’m also eying some classes I’d love to take. So maybe.

15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed?Oh hell yes.

16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months?People always change a bit. I think maybe it’s little things. I do hope to get happier. Without having to worry all the time.

17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?@anangelamuse-castiel-spnfam

18. The last time you felt broken?When Jake killed Mom and Cas walked away from me.

19. Have you had sex today?Not yet. Wish me luck.

20. Are you starting to realize anything?What should I realize?

21. Are you in a good mood?Yeah.

22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks?Honestly? I think it’d be kinda badass. But I can already hear Cas and Sammy scolding me.

23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s?Nope. I have no idea why my eyes turned out to be so green.

24. What do you want right this second?Cas.

25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?I hate this question. If he would kiss somebody else and *wants* to be with them, I’d let him go. No matter how that would hurt.

26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color?Yes it is.

27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?I don’t think so. I mean laughing is so important and Cas makes me laugh all the time (not always on purpose).

28. What was the last thing that made you laugh?Cas asking Sam why his hair looks like that.

29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now?Sure do. Mostly my mom. But I also miss Cas and Sammy when they are away.

30. Does everyone deserve a second chance?Yes.

31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to?No. He’s my brother.

32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do?Yeah. I mean he didn’t for a long time, but I was brave and finally told him.

33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda?Yeah kinda. Like really rare that I order soda.

34. Listening to?Led Zeppelin.

35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore?Sometimes.

36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is?Yeah I can hear the shower and you know what? He sings sometimes in there.

37. Do you believe in love at first sight?Ask me ten years ago, I’d say no. But when Cas came into that old barn? All powerful and hot? Maybe I got hard. But really the love came after I really got to know him.

38. Who did you last call?Charles. Invited her over.

39. Who was the last person you danced with?Cas. I just dunno grabbed him and spun him around in the bunker. I think he was kinda surprised but it was nice.

40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?Because I wanted the pie he baked. No, because I love him of course. Wished him a goodnight like that.

41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake?Donna gave me some a few weeks ago. So good, but not pie.

42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today?No... they are both dead.

43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?When do I not? Just yesterday I slipped in the shower and Castiel saw it while he brushed his teeth. A+

44. Do you tan in the nude?I try to tan, but it never works. I get only more freckles.

45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss?No.

46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?Yeah. Cas always talk to me to sleep, so I can shut my brain off.

47. Who was the last person to call you?Cas or Sammy.

48. Do you sing in the shower?....No?

49. Do you dance in the car?Hell yes.

50. Ever used a bow and arrow?Yeah quite a lot actually. Comes in handy while hunting.

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?Oh... never actually. Or does the mugshot count?

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy?Yeah. But I like them anyway.

53. Is Christmas stressful?I have no idea? I just sounds nice.

54. Ever eat a pierogi?No.

55. Favorite type of fruit pie?Everyone thinks it’s apple. And while I kill for apple pie, cherry is even better.

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?After that with Mom, I wanted to be a firefighter. Also loved to be a mechanic or... have a bakery.

57. Do you believe in ghosts?Ha. yes.

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?Yeah and I hate it.

59. Take a vitamin daily?No?

60. Wear slippers?Yeah.

61. Wear a bath robe?Also yes.

62. What do you wear to bed?If Cas fucks the lights out of me, nothing. Otherwise he got us soft pajames, because apprently it’s not good for me to sleep in jeans.

63. First concert?Small town band I forgot the name of. I sneaked out when Dad was sleeping and got wasted. I can still hear him screaming at me next morning, cause he thought a monster got me.

64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?I don’t care.

65. Nike or Adidas?Neither?

66. Cheetos Or Fritos?Cheetos.

67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?Peanuts.

68. Favorite Taylor Swift song?What? I don’t have a... okay it’s ‘Shake it off.’

69. Ever take dance lessons?No - but when I was young I wanted to... I just.. well maybe I should take some before the wedding, right?

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?Oh. Not really, I’m just happy if they are happy as well.

71. Can you curl your tongue?Yes.

72. Ever won a spelling bee?No.

73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?Yes.

74. What is your favorite book?Sherlock Holmes.

75. Do you study better with or without music?With.

76. Regularly burn incense?No.

77. Ever been in love?Still am.

78. Who would you like to see in concert?Led Zeppelin. AC/DC. Elvis...

79. What was the last concert you saw?Can’t remember their name.

80. Hot tea or cold tea?Hot.

81. Tea or coffee?Coffee.

82. Favorite type of cookie?Chocolate.

83. Can you swim well?Yes.

84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?Eh yeah.

85. Are you patient?Not really. Which is not a good thing.

86. DJ or band, at a wedding?Band.87. Ever won a contest?Yeah once I won an eating contest.

88. Ever have plastic surgery?Nope.

89. Which are better black or green olives?Ew. None.

90. Opinions on sex before marriage?Everyone can do what they like. I wish I hadn’t waited for marriage but maybe for the right person.

91. Best room for a fireplace?Living room. Or my Dean cave.

92. Do you want to get married?Yes.

[dailyaudiobible]

10/12/2019 DAB Transcript

Jeremiah 19:1-21:14, 1 Thessalonians 5:4-28, Psalms 82:1-8, Proverbs 25:9-10

Today is the 12th day of October. Welcome to the Daily Audio Bible. I am Brian and it is a joy and a pleasure to be here with you today as we bring ourselves to the conclusion of another week. And they just don't stop, do they? They just keep going by and that's how…that’s how life gets added up. We tell the story through our days and weeks and months. And, so, here we are at the end of another week, but not at the end of the Bible and certainly not at the end of the…of the books that we’re reading right now which are Jeremiah and Paul's first letter to the Thessalonians. Although we’re going to conclude that letter in today's reading. So, let's dive. We’re reading from the New International Version this week. Jeremiah chapter 19, 20 and 21 today.

Prayer:

Father, we thank You for Your word and we thank You for another week in Your word. It is a constant thing that…that we thank You for these things because we’re thankful for them, but because You keep bringing us through them. And we mark the time, but we also mark the transformation and the change that You are that You are making inside of us. We look back over the past months and we see that You are transforming us in ways that we wouldn't be able to easily put into words. You’re shifting our thoughts and deeds. You’re shifting our motivations and Your shifting our understanding and we are growing. And, so, come Holy Spirit and help us to continue to grow in the faith that is set before us as we continue this journey through the Scriptures. And we pray these things in the name of Jesus. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is the website and that is always…has always been and I don’t know if it will always be…who knows…what technologies are out in front of us, but it is a home base right now. It’s where you find out what’s was going on around here. So, stay connected in any way that you can.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible in the mission that we share in common to bring the spoken word of God read fresh every day and to build community around that rhythm of life, if that's you, then thank you for your partnership and allowing this to keep going every single day. There is a link on the homepage at dailyaudiobible.com. If you’re using the Daily Audio Bible app you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner or, if you prefer, the mailing address is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

And, as always, if you have a prayer request or comment 877-942-4253 is the number to dial or you can just press the Hotline button at the top of the app and off you go.

And that's it for today. I'm Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Hi Daily Audio Bible family this is Liz the soccer mom from Toronto. Today is October the 8th and I just finished listening to the October 7th podcast. And it’s really fascinating how God manages to kind of really poke you some days because I didn’t realize until I heard Carl’s prayer again that I had actually listened to the whole podcast yesterday. So, there’s two things. One was that the message itself that we were…was being shared with us yesterday was the idea of eating out of two bowls and how we can kind of do both and it was a real reminder to me. God really sort of revealed that yeah, I’ve been eating out of both bowls and I’ve been crying out to Him for some answers to some things and couldn’t figure out why I wasn’t getting the answers. And, you know, there it was. It’s like you were eating out of two bowls. And I’ve been asking for like show me a way to kinda like start from fresh and here it was. You’ve been eating out of two bowls. And I didn’t hear yesterday. I listened to the whole podcast and I was reminded again that I have just been too busy to feed myself properly and I’ve been getting sick. And we can talk about that in terms of the physical and also the spiritual and it was a really strong reminder to me. So, thank you Lord for Your messages that Brian is able to get through to us and thank You Lord for getting through us. So, shout out to Carl. You are not forgotten. We love you. Take everybody. Bye.

Good morning Daily Audio Bible family this is Jeanette calling from Canada and I have a praise report and I thank you for all those who have been praying for me, especially that gentleman who prayed for my daughter and I. Well, unexpectedly my daughter has a job and it’s not even the way I thought it was gonna be. She has been volunteering in her given profession at this…at this facility and the person who’s in charge is often sickly and they have hired my daughter for three days per week on a temporary…in a temporary position until this person returns. But it is…God is so amazing because this wasn’t at all what I expected. I knew she would get a job but it’s just like a couple days after we all prayed. And I am so grateful and so grateful for all of you. And, so, I lift up all the people that are praying today. I think of the lady who has infertility. You know, I am praying for you because we have experienced that with family members. And, so, God is good, and God is gracious. And I’m praying that He will hear You, He will answer, and you will have the children that He wants you to have. In the meantime, hang in there. God is with you. Thank you all. Have a blessed, blessed day in Jesus’ name.

Hey everyone, this is Jay calling from Nashville. I’m calling for call. Carl man I’ve been in your shoes. No job, not knowing when, where, how, whatever was going to happen, but I want you to know brother, God is our father and He does know what we want but just like a child will tug on their father’s pant leg until they get their attention over and over and over again until that father finally breaks his concentration on whatever else it is he’s focusing on and looks down to his child and says, “what is it that I can do for you?” That is how we must go to God. At one point in my life I was without a job and I was living in my car just like you. And I began to pray and nothing and nothing would happen. And six months went by, a year went by. Nothing happened. And finally, after I realized that there was some growth that was happening in my life a job popped up out of nowhere and that job turned into the position that I have today. So, I’m gonna pray for you brother. Almighty God we thank You so much for your grace and Your mercy. Father we call upon You now in the precious name of Your son Jesus Christ to show Yourself to our brother Carl. He’s feeling forgotten, he’s feeling as if there is no other option. He’s feeling abandoned. Lord, please remind him, please show him, please bring him close to Your heart and reveal to him Your will for his life and please God provide a job and money so that this man can meet his needs and…

Good morning Daily Audio Bible family this is Lori and Texas this is my first time to call in. I just heard from John the prodigal asking for prayers for Jake, his son who has given up and feels as if he fails at everything. And I would like to say a prayer for Jake. I have been through similar things with my son and I would like for him to know that there is light at the end of the tunnel and that light is Jesus Christ. So, heavenly Father I would just lift John and Jacob to You, and I would pray that You would lift up Jake’s head and that You would let him find your hope again. Give John the strength as he prays for his son to pray without ceasing, to never give up, to always hold onto Your promises, to know that You have plans for us and they’re good plans and they’re perfect plans and they’re good. So, Father just, I’m asking You to give hope and life and encouragement to these two men and also to the whole community of believers as they…as they login and listen. And thank you so much Brian and Jill for bringing us all this blessing. Goodbye.

[disruptedvice]

Two wrongs don’t make a right (but a double negative does make an affirmative)

A fluff/humor Peraltiago get together one shot

That Monday was the slowest day at a police precinct since police were even invented. The slowest day in history for cops and criminals (no robbers to catch, no nothin'). The slowest day since police even started being a thing, according to Jake Peralta.

It was the most boring day at work he had ever had. And it wasn't just him that thought the day was boring. Everyone was bored. Terry, Charles, Rosa, Hitchcock, Scully, and even Santiago was bored. She loved boring stuff. She got excited by boring stuff.

But even that Monday was too boring for Santiago.

Just paperwork, and then when that ran out it was just sitting there. There wasn't even enough paperwork to go around.

Jake never understood minesweeper and just clicked around randomly to blow stuff up, and he never had a hope of getting down the rules of solitaire. Eventually he resorted to just doing that select slide blue square with his cursor on his desktop over and over again because he was that bored.

He was so bored he couldn't even find the will to entertain himself. He couldn't be bothered to even try. Boyle kept trying to show him funny videos on youtube, but Jake was too bored to even give them a chance and just groaned every time Charles made the trip between their desks until he just stopped trying.

It was that boring.

He wasn't even tired enough to fall asleep, but he wished he was. Sleeping at his desk would be way better than this drag. But he was too awake to even get in a quick snooze and it was killing him. All this nothing.

Amy loved boring tedious stuff, but that day was too boring to even catch Amy Santiago's interest. She looked just as dead and faded as everyone else and started drawing circles on a sheet of paper because there was no paperwork to fill out after so long in. Jake would kill for some paperwork because he wanted something to occupy him other than banging his head on the desk, cause that got old (and painful) after 60 seconds.

About half an hour after Jake got home from the gray hell of work he got a text.

Amy: Are you busy? Can we talk?

Jake: I'm free as can be. You wanna come over? Or meet up or something somewhere

Not a second after he sent the text there was a knock at his door and he opened it to find his partner standing on the other side.

"I was already in the elevator when I realized I probably should have checked if you were even home first so it would be a little less rude," she explained looking like a mix between apologetic and hesitant as he let her inside.

"Is everything okay?" He asked out of genuine concern. Amy didn't do stuff spring of the moment, and she never just popped in on people. She always gave advanced notice on any and everything, and she never stopped by anyone's place for a visit just because she happened to be in the neighborhood. So he assumed it must be bad for her to forget to warn him until she was already in the hallway of his apartment building. He was actually afraid that someone might have died, but she didn't look sad so he hoped it wasn't a death related house call.

"Yeah, everything's fine. I just wanted to talk to you," she said with a half smile that made him doubt her reassurance. She took a deep breath before launching into what seemed to be a pre-planned opener into whatever she wanted to talk about.

"You know what, Jake? We're cops."

"Yeah, Ames. I know that."

"We could die tomorrow. We're always in mortal danger."

"I don't know where you're going with this..." he trailed off, half expecting her to go into an existential crisis of their chosen profession.

"I always think about what would happen if we go wrong and how that'll affect everyone we work with. But we could die literally any day. So screw everyone we work with, because if I die I want to have fucked you the night before. Or that morning. I put my life on the line and I've earned the right to be happy with you and not worry about everyone else being happy with us. But it's not like we know exactly when we're going to die, so we're just going to have to have sex on a regular basis. As in dating. You and me dating. Boyfriend girlfriend dating. This is me asking you out. If you want."

She realized that was pretty forward of her, but she decided that forward was what she needed to be. She needed to be forward and lay it all on the line exactly what she wanted from him. Because she wanted him. And from her speech it made it sound like she was sure he was going to say yes, but she wasn't sure. She decided to phrase it like she was sure so she wouldn't back down out of fear. But it was more than probable that he wouldn't want that anymore. Their timing with each other never matched up in a way that worked. But she decided that it was a good time for her and prayed that it was a good time for Jake too. A good time for both of them, at the same time. Instead of it being a good time for her and a bad time for Jake. But she went in with the hope that it was a good time for the both of them.

After she finished asking him out in a way that she thought might make him laugh (her rambling was unintentional and she didn't exactly think about phrasing the words that came out of her mouth, but afterwards it seemed like a style of confession that Jake would appreciate). But he didn't laugh, or even smile. Just silent with no response, and she realized that it probably was a bad time for Jake. Just another case of mismatched timing between the two of them.

"So let me get this straight, the most boring day since ever was the day you realize our job was so dangerous and basically yolo?" He asked, still trying to piece it all together.

"It was kind of like an epiphany," she explained. "Random perspective. You can say no. I totally get it if you've moved on from feeling all romantic-stylez about me" she informed him, dropping her confident act so he wouldn't feel bad about rejecting her when she seemed so expectant of him. Cause he was just standing there staring, and she figured that since he hadn't said yes yet he was just trying to find the best way to say no. She really did it overkill with that whole speech, didn't she? It definitely would've been a billion times less awkward if she just asked him out like a normal person instead of her almost dying speech. God, this was a huge mistake.

She wished she could just turn and walk straight out the door, but she knew she couldn't leave until he actually said a word. At least one word. She couldn't leave without him telling her yes or no. She needed an answer from him.

"God, please say something, Jake. If that sounds like something you want to do then okay, but if you don't just say no. Or something along those lines. If you don't want to do a whole romantic-stylez dating thing with me just say no and I can go," she pleaded for him to give her an answer so she wasn't just left wringing her hands in wait all night. Wringing her hands only a few feet away from him waiting for him to say a word.

"Nuh-uh. No way. Not at all," he said like she was crazy to even ask and her face fell flat. Of course she was hoping he would say yes, but he didn't need to be such a jerk about turning her down.

"Wait – I'm not saying no to you," he hastily tried to correct himself from her reaction. And he looked half frantic with flurried hands so she had no clue where he was going with it. "I'm saying no to what you're saying. I'm saying no to your no. You're wrong about how I feel. I mean, you're right, but your last few sentences were wrong. I mean... fuck," he swore before giving up and kissing her.

His hands tangled in her hair was so much better than seeing them fumble around in the air a moment before when he was talking. A moment before he shut up and gave her probably the best kiss of her life. Definitely the best kiss of her life.

She wasn't exactly expecting the kiss so when it happened all of the sudden her lips parted completely involuntarily and he took the opportunity to deepen the kiss and ran with it. When he was kissing her like that it wiped all trace of what he said from her mind. She couldn't remember what he said, couldn't even remember what she said. She couldn't even remember what she asked him or what she was doing there when Jake was kissing her like that. When Amy was nibbling on his bottom lip and scratching her nails down his scalp there wasn't anything else in existence. No words, no signals, no messages.

Just the kiss.

She sighed when their lips parted, but he leaned his forehead against hers so even without kissing she still had his breath mingling with hers and their hands still entangled in each other's hair, but he didn't make a move to separate any further than that.

"Yes," he breathed. "That's the word I was looking for. I'm saying yes. No to your no. Yes to your yes."

"You forgot the word yes? And you forgot any other word that could have sufficed?" She wanted to be mad cause he came that close to giving her a small heart attack because he forgot one of the most common words ever, but she couldn't stop smiling and actually chuckled because he was saying yes. He wanted that. Her. He meant yes.

"I kinda forgot most of the English language. And I forgot how to stop speaking too."

"You're such an idiot."

"Is that an epiph-y-thing-y you're just now having too?" And god, with that smile, there was definitely no way she could be mad at him now. And... she was pretty okay with that. She didn't mind.

"So, just to be clear, now that you remember the word yes, that is what you're saying?" Amy knew she probably didn't need to double check, but you couldn't blame her for wanting to hear it again. Truth be told, she wanted to kiss him again too. She wanted to hear him say yes one more time, and kiss him oh so many more times.

"Yup. Yes. We're dating now, no take backsies. You're stuck with me now that I remember word stuff."

"I think I can live with that," she told him, wrapping his arms around his neck and dragging his lips back to hers in a very, long awaited kiss. Now all they had to do was catch up on lost time.

Luckily, they had all the time in the world.

[nautiscarader]

Kim Possible season 3 recap

And here is part 3 of my KP marathon notes. Obligatory thanks to @fereality-indy for encouraging me to watch this awesome show. 

So, what will happen this this time? Will Kim Possible save another kitten from a tree? Will Ron discover something better than nachos? Will Doctor Drakken release the Krakken? Will Shego puncture her ego? Will Lord Monkeyfist buy Club Banana just because he is bonkers? Will Duff Killigan finally score?

So, let’s see what’s the first big problem KP has to deal with!

Kim being alone on a Friday evening. Okay.

Also, amusingly, everyone is doing something on a Friday evening, including the villians. 

Motorhead turns out to be Drakken’s cousin. okay.

And people know the address of Draken’s lair bc of mailing list

See, it’s the little touches like those that make this show a very accurate portrayal of superheroes and villians. 

KP gets jealous of Ron’s friend in wheelchair because they spend too much time together playing video games, so she has to find a way to “fit in”.

Okay, so they can approach it in a sensible and subtle, or so-cringe-worthy-and-painful-the-skip-button-presses-itself way.

So, which did they choose?

painful it is

Few stupid scenes later, Draken STEALs THE WHEELCHAIR FROM A DISABLED KID

shego: what’s next, stealing lolipop from a baby?

and there is a brilliant running joke about it

is it ableist to say that a joke about disabled person is “running”? Well, this is tumblr you gotta be carfeul

Anyway, turns out that Drakken and Jake the Dog make an actual competent combo, even though they end up in prison. And momma Lipski is still clueless about her son’s profession

Next ep: KIM CHANGED HER HAIR! and she looks cute

Ron is a pickle, but that’s normal

Draken and shego steal moodulators (get it?) from random scientist #464

Shego: if you are so smart why do you always steal instead of inventing things yourself

Draken: it’s called outsourcing, shego

God d amit, that is a smart show. 

And of course moodultaors accidentally fall on KP and SHego, so they act random throughout the day. And boy it is weird when it’s set to loveskick

Shego: steals lolipop from a baby for Drakken because she luvs him

KP turns into  a proper stalker mode for her Ronnie

And Monique is completely fine with it. 

and then kim KISSED him!!!

OMG NOSEBLEED

And then poor Ron has no idea what to do with dating KP so suddenly, and the whole scene where he debates what to do is absolute gold with a punchline that defies expectations. 

Draken and Shego go on a date and boy it is weird. SHE CATWALKS TO HIM

I can already see Disney censors thinking when it’s going to be too much for The Mouse

and kim’s dad threatens to send ron to a black hole when he takes her on a date

Also the random professor wants to sell his no-longer-existent moodulaTors on auction and he thinks about blaming it on the mail. You know, i’ve seen some approaches how to handle a world where superheroes/villians/geniuses live in our society (like in BNHA, for example), but KP so far makes it the best approach, because it makes them so relatable. 

And boy the finale is satisfying because everything completely backfires

Shego and KP got stuck in an anGry mode, and chase their boys. Ron tries to hide in the same place as drakken

Drakken: Dibs!

Ron: Double dibs!

Drakken: all right, you won with your superior dib-calling (ACTUAL QUOTE)

And the day is saved thanks to the power of friendship and not that Kp and ron are definitely in love with each other

KP, Ron, Drakken and Shego somehow manage to get into Tv, where they visit parodies of famous shows

Honestly, meh. I remember a similar episode of Teen Titans, that one was funny as heck.

and then we find out who’s the real villian of the middleton high: THE SCARY LIBRARIAN!

And turns out Ron accidentally put a book Kim rented in his backpack, causing her to get into trouble doing library duties. 

So he goes on a mission to revisit all of the bad guys they fought to see where he might have left it

Okay: calling it now, it’s still in his backpack

Shego: Where’s Possible?

Ron: She’s not my girlfriend!

Shego: Never said she was. 

And Ron accidentally saves the world on that book hunt

Lord Monkey:Ron Stoppable!

Ron: You’re the only one, who remembers my name, I respect that

Okay, so Wade can make stuff invisible. Like, how?

And there we go: the book it was in his backpack all the time. 

Oh, and Ron takes a book from Lord Monkeymonkey contaning a spirit of a monkey demon.

And he returns to the library, saving Kim from being bored to death by retunring the book. 

GUESS WHICH ONE HE RETURNED.

Oh, it was another half-episode. Weird. 

And the next one is about giant bugs. Interesting how Kim tells Ron not to be afraid of bugs, and next moment she’s all squirmish while Ron befriends a giant roach and calls him Roachie. 

KP: Ron, did you start working on the project? it was supposed to be autobiographical

ron: No, I’m waiting for it to write itself.

WE MIGHT GET RUFUS’ BACKSTORY!

Oh, and Drakken tried to take over the world with shampoo. Honestly, it’s funny as heck

he tries smarty mart to sell it

he even makes loreal-style ad, but it doesn’t sell

so he tries product placement in a hip hop song, and the artists is like “Aw, hell no”

And then 

and then

turns out that Shego and Drakken are having karaoke night every friday.

God dammit, i don’t know why but that is beyond funny

and turns out that Drakken can sing. 

and shego points out that he could sing about the shampoo

so he goes to an american idol

And I think I realise what really makes it funny: Kp is barely in this episode, helping ron with homework. No evil-doing is actually done, we only get to see, for the most part what goes behind the scenes of an evil plan that is so insanely and unnecessary convoluted it is beyond belief. 

OH, AND kp GETS TO RIVAL HIM ON STAGE, OF COURSE.

people hypnotised by the shampoo so far: one (1) random henchman

one (1) old TV producer in a sauna 

one (1) Simon Cowell

And...holy shit, his song is actually good. 

And instead of KP, who is busy fighting the mean lean green machine, Ron sings about Rufus. The song is titled “Naked Mole Rap”. And it is FREAKING PHENOMENAL.

Oh, add one (1) Shego to the list. 

Okay, so far that is the most crazy episode. Like, seriously, the quality was through the roof.

SCRATCH THAT NEXT EP is EVEN WEIRDER

So, the Team Impossible, which we have learned about in the movie, is angry at KP for saving the world for free, whereas they actually charge people for it. 

And they try to cut Kim from all of her world-traveling assets and knock her out of competition.

THAT IS FUCKING V ILE

And they hack Wade

AND TURNS OUT YOU DON’T FUCK WITH WADE

YOU DON’T CUT THEIR INTERNET CABLES OF A NERD

SINCE THIS IS ONE WAY TO MAKE AN OBESE SUPER GENIOUS  WALK OUT OF THEIR ROOM

AND HE LOOKS SO FREAKING BAD-ASS WHEN HE STORMS INTO THEIR HEADQUATERS

aaand TI is defeated the same way they would have been defeated had they answered the call. 

Pretty funny, and it does go into the details of how on Earth superheroes work in this world. 

And we have another episode about the secret ninja high school Ron was sent to 

And Yori travels to US for Ron 

And Kim is super jelaus

Wade: Kim, you are jelly

Kim: So not

Monique: You are jelly 

Kim: So not

Kim: *is jelly*

So she pretty much stalks Ron all the way to the school, and nearly fails the mission of trying to save the levitating magical jedi principal. Seriously, he’s OP as fuck.

And he’s escaping from a huge monkey. turns out it’s crazy dna lady who turned herself  into monkey for Lord Britishmonkey. 

Next episode is bascially one huge satire on the movie industry, down to the title (”and The mole rat will be CGI”). KIm and Ron accidentally crash a movie set, after Senior Senior Junior crashes it first since he accidentally applied for a role of a henchman in said movie. 

It was supposed to be set in Britian, but the movie set was in New Zealand, since “it was cheaper”

And I was like 

Is that a “Lord of The rings” joke? Someone tell me if I’m right.

Oh, and we have another long episode WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE IS ANOTHER MOVIE?

And it looks like it’s a three-part episode again, I wonder if the formula’s gonna work again. 

The beginning feels like a short promo scene for people who might not know what KP is about, and I’m not gonna lie, this sums it up perfectly. Action, drama, explosions, more drama, goofy ron, naked mole rat kicking ass and more drama. By the way, what;s the title? 

I guess the intro is an homage to the James Bond ones, with lots of colourful, surreal visuals floating in the background to the soothing, slow music. Love it, too bad it’s short, but again, it had to fit an episode’s running time.

 wait so the Nakasumi president CAN speak English? Even the movie calls him wacky for whispering all the time as if he couldn’t. 

Okay, now the movie just fucks with us. 

mr and mrs possible almost switch their cloaks with important documents, but she switches them back just at the last moment

mr posible ALMOST deletes his work file worth three billion dollars but undos it at the last moment.

it’s like the plot TRIES to start itself

And I bet the key is under the doormat

So the dating drama IS going to be the theme of the movie, huh. 

Wade: Drakken has been spotted in the Bermuda triangle

Bermuda triangle: *turns out to be a hotel*

And Ron just happened to have his suit under the scuba diving gear.

Shego proves to be once again, way more competent than Drakken.

and we have obligatory fight between two kickass ladies in dresses and high heels. This IS a James Bond movie. 

So, the prom drama continues, and it is sadly kinda goes into the cringe territory, with some new dude falling in love with Kim and Kim falling for him, Ron feeling sad, they both being conflicted, yep, seen it. 

But for once Drakken helps the cause and moves the plot forward, stealing some super project from dr Possible.

he deletes the file like he did in the opening, but GASP drakken has some mind reading machine

I do wonder if the coat switcheroo is going to be part of the plot. 

Holy shit

Drakken’s plan is so crazy that it actually makes sense. Take over the buneo nachos and put kiddy meals in it with robot toys that take over the world. And neither kim nor Shego could have forseen it. 

And more prom drama. Ugh. 

I always like when Possible family work together to stop the evil-doers.

So Drakken’s plan was brilliant, minus the part when the entire army of robots shuts down when the signal goes off-line. Kinda a major fuck-up. 

And they kindapped Kim’s boyfriend to lure her.  

OH, SO HE WAS A SYNTH ROBOT

I genuinely didn’t see that coming. 

Drakken learns Ron’s name, yeah! And it’s shot like Drakken’s yelling a curse to the skies, love it. 

Also, HOLY SHIT, Kim kicks Shego into the tower so hard it looks like she was about to kill her. Like, that was genuinely chilling moment, especially with an ominous, lightning-filled close-up onto her later.

Spoiler: she didn’t die. 

Okay, colour me confused: I didn’t think that Kim and Ron were going to kiss and start dating now, I thought this movie was going to be one huge prequel to a movie by the end of S4. Or more precisely, it feels weird NOW, knowing that there is a whole season ahead of me. Cos that felt like a pretty good end of a series, something akin to the Last Airbender one, so I’m slightly concerned how it’s going to be played into season 4, cos this can go haywire pretty easily. 

Uh, not going to lie, I’ve got mixed feelings about the movie. On one hand, it gave us a proper evil plan from Drakken, one that attacks Kim psychologically, showing that for once, he DID his homework and actually studied Kim’s behaviour. On the other, the prom/dating drama is kinda painful to watch, but fortunately gets resolved in the end. Maybe it’s just me, but I had the same expression as Rufus when he and Ron said that guys don’t talk about feelings. It felt kinda clumsy and not subtle at all, and what’s worse, the show itself did way better job of portraying romance in previous episodes, most notably the moodulator one. But as I said, those last few scenes with Ron and Kim fighting together does make up for it. 

also, Rufus once again is the unspoken hero. He did so freaking much, including, but not limited to: saving ron from the tentacle monster, freeing kim and ron, defeating the synth boyfriend, pushing Kim and Ron together... He really is a badass.    

So, not a bad one, though I preferred the first movie. Also, on the whole Season 3 was significantly shorter than second. Wonder what’s gonna happen in the next season.