#(enough to cosplay zacharie that one time at least)
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in an ideal world, i will get to see mark play the remake of OFF when it comes out later this year
#but alas. i assume this to not come to fruition#idk mark's playthrough of OFF is one of my favorites of his and it's what first got me into the game as a kid#so i'd like to see him play the remake when it does come out. i know he really liked that game#(enough to cosplay zacharie that one time at least)#but also idk he doesn't really play a lot of remakes and also he's been so busy lately what with the movie and the fires and what have yoy#all of which is understandable. but does diminish my hopes significantly. but perhaps i can dream.#i'm already rewatching his playthrough for the third time since i heard the news (and i've played it myself like twice)#formative game for me i think#speaking of formative games i've realized that i didn't put firewatch into my topster top 15 viddy games#i should change that when i'm on my computer agaib#anyways i'm going to try and head to bed. i wish you all a good night#the trash speaks
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My Zac Con aka CCXP Cologne
[Warning: really long post, full of swooning and rambled ramblings cause words are hard when it comes to that man! Consider yourself warned]
When they announced CCXP Germany, I was skeptic. Even more so when they announced Zachary Levi as first guest!
My Zac, finally coming to a con nearby? That couldn't be true. But of course I went and got me a ticket for all four days! Couldn’t let that ONE chance slip through my fingers. Even better, a dear friend wanted to join into the fun.
And so we were headed towards Cologne on Thursday, even though Zac would only be there from Friday on. But we wanted to get a feel for the venue, the people and everything else. It was lovely: not as huge as the one in Brasil, but fine for their first time. Wonderfully organized, clean, enough food and drinks on location, and even an app to keep one up to date! After that we had a wander around Cologne - had to show my friend the city (she's from England) and yes, we had the hopes to run into the man himself. Sadly that didn't happen, cause he did the same wander two hour LATER! *hmpf* Still not over that.
Anyhow: Friday was the first photo day. And I was nervous. I knew it would be fine, my English is sufficient enough to say Hi and tell him how incredibly awesome he is but yeah... still nervous. Luckily he was scheduled for autographs before we had our photos, and those autos were out in the open. Naturally we went there first thing after arrival. And there he was, only a few metres away from me, breathing the same air as us! And I might have made all sorts of weird noises. (Yet, my friend held my hand and tried to calm me down!) We stuck around for a bit - just making sure he was REALLY there!! *grins* But finally it was time for our photos. We queued up; and I could hear him laugh which did NOT help the butterflies in my stomach.
Coming around the corner and seeing him in all his tall as fuck glory, I might have had to take a very deep breath! He grinned and actually introduced himself!! I mean: WHAT? I know who you are, I am HERE just for YOU!! But yeah, that's Zac, he does shit like that! *sighs happily* And yes, I did actually mutter 'You're really real' when I approached him. I cannot for the life of me remember what he replied (I THINK it was 'yes, I am' but don't hold me to that!) Those eyes are VERY distracting, I tell ya. I asked for a hug photo, and he said: “Yeah, you can hug me.” (HNGNGH!) Which I did. He smells of nothing (thanks Sal for confirming that); he's also very warm and VERRRRY firm!! Like DAMN firm! *grins* I thanked him and basically floated back out. I cannot for the live of me remember the rest of the day! There were panels we attended but honestly, I cannot remember any of them! *hehe*
The next day we had our autographs (still sooo fucking thankful to my Sally for getting that for me - I owe you BIG TIME for that. And as an FYI: if you're like me and (used to) think photos are better than autos: NO! Autographs are soo much better, especially when it's with such a lovely human being!) Again: queuing up (which wasn’t really a queue, just a collection of a handful of people, which was a shame really - everybody should want to meet that man!!); Sally went first and I kept grinning like a loon; she likes him almost as much as I do, but she’s got herself much better in control.
The steward tried to distract me; still not sure whether i appreciated that or not. Anyhow, he was done with Sally, and looked up and at me, and I might have squeaked a bit. The steward who had written down my name was down the line, and I panicked. He waved me up, might have said 'come up' and stupidly I pointed down the line but she was there, hurrying to give him my name. I didn't really feel my legs when I walked up to him, because he was looking at me. (You know when celebrities look at you and don't really see you? NOT HIM! He does see you, and good lord, that's a really heady feeling.) I had my photo to get signed; and he said: "Welcome back" or something along the lines of remembering me from the day before. Oh, and to avoid con crud, he fistbumped everyone (although he high-fived many people which totally defeated the purpose! My beautiful silly dork!) Anyhow, he signed, and I started babbling: thanking him for coming to Germany, and telling him how much I missed NerdHQ. At that point he looked up, that huge, beautiful smile on his face. "You've watched it?" - "Every year," I told him, "Used to plan that weekend around his panels." His face was the most beautiful thing I’vve ever seen, so happy; he was basically beaming. Told me he was still trying to get that off the ground again, in a different format. The passion and love he has for that? It's incredible. I then asked him if he enjoyed the walk down into Cologne, and that we walked the same ways only hours before which made him grin. He enjoyed it, he said, didn't get sunburned (We did, and I told him that. *snorts* told ya, I was basically vomiting words all over him). He REALLY takes his time, tries to keep a conversation going. He listens, and I can’t stress that enough, he SEES you when he looks at you.

It was over way too soon, and I said 'bye, see you later' and stumbled down the steps, a smile basically plastered to my face; people were looking a tiny bit strange as I walked down towards my friend, but the stewards were just grinning back. It’s weird what you remember in moments like that. I hugged my friend and might've cried a few happy tears. I LOVE her so much for just letting me be cause I needed at least half an hour to come back to myself. Since I was basically useless for the rest of the day, we just hung around, waiting for him to do the interview in the fish bowl. He came out, waving and vanished inside, did the interview, and after 15 minutes he came back out, and high-fived everyone standing there before hurrying away again.
That was our day over cause there wasn't much else that day.
Sunday morning: double picture with my Sal and Zac. We both went full on fangirl: she wore a Shazam shirt and I had made a special one for him. His face lit up when we walked in. "I LOVE the shirt!" I swear, that grin will be the death of me one day. He pulled us both in (TIGHT); it was over way too soon again. We thanked him again, and left very giddily.

They had added a combination ticket late on Saturday: auto and selfie with Zac! I did pretend to think about that for a bit but deep down inside I KNEW I had to do it. Who knows when he'll be back... so yeah, that was basically a given. So the first thing in the morning was going to get that ticket, and then pick a time. I chose the one after his panel so I could properly say goodbye. (Also hoped it wouldn't be too full and that he would take even more time). We then spent ALL day with sitting in panels we weren't really interested in, which was okay apart from that utterly dreadful and terrible Batman panel. *shudders* Still wondering why they even did this: the artists clearly didn't want to be there AT ALL. The cosplay panel on the other hand was quite interesting. We moved seats after the GOT panel, which meant we had front row seats!
And then it was finally time. And since it's Zac nobody was surprised that it was not a moderated one but the usual Q&A! I've seen so many online, and yet being actually there was something else entirely. Especially being that close. *exhales deeply*

That man's ... everything is unparalleled, his personality, his look on life, his optimism; his down-to-earth-ness! He’s so passionate about the things he loves, and yet still fully rooted in reality. He’s famous, very aware of it, and uses that for the bestest of reasons. It's just mindblowing. I'm soo glad I had the chance to witness it live. (And yes, I might have recorded it cause I KNEW I'd forget so much with time. I still hope that at some point some video shows up, but until then I'm happily listening to him ramble on). That man's come such a long way, and still so much to give and to do, and I cannot wait for him to do all the things he loves and wants to do. I even managed to ask a question (yes, I did make a list with Q's the second I knew I would be going)!! I'm still in shock about that. (It helped that we were front row, so I couldn't see the people all around!) I very happily sat down again after asking, cause my knees were a bit wobbly during that answer cause he tries to direct that towards you. And having that gaze on you for who knows how long? It's the most dizzying thing in the world. I’m still amazed that he managed to stay seated the entire time; usually he’s up on his feet very quickly and then you can’t take photos cause he’s basically all blur and unstoppable.
That hour was over way too quickly, and before I knew it, I was in a queue again, waiting for my second autograph. When it was my turn I had to wait a bit longer cause he had to sign some stuff for who knows who. I wasn't unhappy, just standing there, watching him? There's worse thing to do :-D And once again, he smiled at me when I came up to him. "I know you," he grinned when I gave him our double pic to sign. I might have had a gift for him which was music related, so naturally I asked him if there's anything to expect in that direction. He nodded, and very passionately said there would be at some point, still working on the how and all that. So yeah, here's more hope than usual. Cause the world NEEDS that beautiful voice in it! I also asked when he would be leaving, and wished him save travels. Oh, and I thanked him again for coming, and he said he'd be back next year! (I really hope that's really happening, I'd be sooo there again!). And as I was leaving he said to say hi to my English friend (apparently she was the only English person at the whole con), and I pointed at her, and he waved at her! What a sweetheart!

I was mentally exhausted after that, so I just sat down in front of the autograph booths to watch him a bit longer. (It was far enough away to still be inconspicuous but close enough to see him clearly) My Sally -bless her huge heart- just left me there and went to get us coffee, cause she knew I needed the time to calm down (and the caffeine)! I love her so much, and I'm so glad we did this together. She's my hero!!! There were only a handful more people there; and no other celebrity to sign anything. His time slot was until 6:30 pm, and it was just after 6 when he was basically done. And yet he stuck around until the VERY end. There were only staff left, and he climbed over the tables to take pics with them, signed things for them, giggled and just had fun. He could've left, there was nobody there anymore, and yet he stuck around until his time was up and then he packed all his things, waved at the staff people and wandered off, still with a skip in his step. I was done by that time - there was the B. Wong panel but I didn't want to end the con on anything else than Zac so we agreed to leave and go home.
Now, one week later, I am still so full of happiness and joy and gratitude for having been given the chance to meet the man. I'm grateful for Sally who took it all in her stride, dealt with me the only way that works on me. Thank you, darling, I love you so very much. Those are some memories I will treasure for the rest of time. I've met a few people I like and adore, but NOBODY will get even close to meeting and talking to the one and only Zachary Levi. I wish him only the best and all the success he deserves. And that he fulfills all those dreams he has about a better world. And yes, I hope he’ll be back next year! I’ll happily do it all over again in a heartbeat!!! I have to go back to work tomorrow (I do not want to) but I will fed off of his heart and his love and energy for a very long time!!!
Here’s to seeing him again next year - let’s just make this an annual thing, yeah?!

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2019 Draws to an End
Yes, and with it a whole decade. Yikes. The years start coming and they don’t stop coming huh? I wish we were living in the 90s. When Heart of Darkness had life-size statues at E3 and Beanie Babies were worth hundreds of dollars. Those were the days... fortunately the internet has gotten a whole lot faster. I guess years going by have their perks after all.
I’ve been occasionally hearing fireworks when I take off my headphones and putting them back on because they startle me. It’s not even 10 PM yet you guys!!!
So, how was this year?
There was a fair amount of negativity. Zachary kept up his antics for most of the year, one of those two youtubers made a ruckus on twitch, and... well... a certain stressful conflict from 2017 made a comeback. But for me, things have been a lot easier to deal with because I finally got a family doctor this year!
Yes, I did manage to achieve one of my new years resolutions from last year. Receive medical care and be put back on my medicine. Let me tell you, it has been a relief. I even was put onto a whole new medicine specifically for my night terrors which has been allowing me to sleep without injuring myself in the night.
As frustrated as I am at how slowly my medical treatments are going, I did actually make a fair amount of progress this year. Being on medicine to help me both when awake and asleep, as well as medicine for pain, physiotherapy, and tests to start treatments for several conditions. Hopefully we see even more results in 2020!
I feel that my creative endeavors have taken a back seat. Unfortunately 2019 had a rough start with crashing in a tiny spare room and having to move 8 hours away. But despite this I did draw a lot. Enough to do a 2019 summary of art! I didn’t do one last year but I did one for my renaissance in 2017. It was nice to do one again.
I did have issue with mental stimulation. The good old cabin fever that I’ll probably always suffer from slightly until I get my service dog. There’s only so much you can do at home before you run out of things to do and inspiration. This was better here though than the past few years. I think we moved to a good place and although things got unfortunate in the last couple months I still have high hopes for this new place to call home.
We got early footage for Paper Beast! Eric Chahi’s newest game. I am super excited to play it in the new year. I cannot wait.
Looking back on my year end post from last year I noticed just how much I’ve gotten to a better place emotionally this year. I get that I’m all doom and gloom, but it was really painful back in 2018 in review. I think a lot of my progress has to do with my medicine. It helps me approach things in a more levelheaded way.
So how did I do with my previous resolutions?
Well, I think I’ve managed to grow and become more confident dealing with my paranoia. I also don’t think I fully gave up my creative endeavors either. I’ve still managed to draw a lot of things this year. Despite a busy year I did keep up with many of my friends, and even repaired some friendships that wore down a bit in the past.
Sadly, I didn’t get my service dog. Not yet. I did get my medications though! And my doctor! I’ve been seeing them twice a month, not once a month. So better than I aimed for. Still struggling on going out and doing things, and taking many things still a bit too seriously.
Fishy and I have both been super busy, but we’ve had time to talk a lot throughout the year. Same with many of my other friends.
I have actually been standing up for myself, even towards people with authority. I still struggle but it gets easier with time.
Letting things go is still hard. But I’m getting there.
HoD stuff is all I know. Why did 2018 me think I was going to lose my fire? It flickered but never went out hahaha. Putting off fun things because I feel I “don’t deserve them” is still something I struggle with, so lets hope that gets easier in 2020.
I’ve been actively trying to kill off the part of me that delights in my enemies suffering. It is harder than I initially thought, but a good way to do it is to focus on the good. Surround myself with things that are enjoyable, not people who make things suck. As for purity? When I have my medicine to ground me in reality it’s easier for me to see that it’s an unachievable standard. 2018 me was too hard on myself.
So, with the past resolutions out of the way...
What are my resolutions for 2020 you may ask?
Finally build the plasma cannon for my cosplay!!!
MORE HEART OF DARKNESS
Not be as combative online
Finally sort my medical and other issues out
Draw more
Talk more to my friends
Get closure on Spot
Get my service dog
Officially start my trauma therapy
Learn to let myself relax and live
Build my new computer
Play Paper Beast!!!
Yep! I know I can achieve at least one of those things this upcoming year. Lets aim for all of them.
Thank you to everyone who continues to stand by me. I love you guys and wouldn’t be where I am without you.
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I Might Meet Zachary This Weekend??

About six months ago, I had The Dream. The one where Zachary told me he was coming to find me in the physical plane.
Since that dream, I've been absolutely giddy, but patiently waiting with no expectations, knowing full well that it could take the length of my whole life to happen.
Recently, M surprised me with Comicpalooza tickets, which, at the time of this writing, is happening in about two weeks. And let me tell you--as soon as he said it. As soon as the words came out of his mouth. I got the same feeling, the truer-than-truer-than-true, Knowing feeling: some shit's gonna go down at that convention. I'm fucking telling you right now.
I did a tarot reading a couple days ago for July like I do for each new month. And this one uhh. Whew. I can't emphasize enough how much I'm metaphorically flapping my hands. The whole reading is pretty long, but the most important cards were the Nine of Cups, a secret wish being fulfilled, and The Lovers–mine and Zach's card.
Okay, right? So then that night, he visited me in a dream. And it was so fucken like... I'm giggling just thinking about it, because most of the dreams he visits me in are serious and weighted at best or dire at worst. It was so fun and silly and playful. It's so rare that I dream of happy things, and so seldom do I get to enjoy that side of him. It involved a party game in which a person from one team has to complete a task within a certain amount of time, while a person from the other team attempts to distract them. He was my opponent, of course, and he tried valiantly to distract me, but ultimately I completed my task in time and I won a point for my team. Afterward, he slid his arm around me and pulled me close, and whispered in that okay yeah that was fun but back to business tone he uses: "Excellent job." As if I'd passed some kind of test.
The next morning, I pulled my daily tarot card. And WOULDN'T YOU KNOW IT, it was the Two of Cups. And I felt him with me all day long–that higher-level, transcendent joy and playfulness and excitement. I know he's exactly as excited as I am, even with his subdued and sober manner.
And so like... not to be literally insane, but I just feel like something is going to happen, and I feel like that thing is that I'm going to find Zachary in the flesh at this convention. I'll be honest–as thrilled as I am about this prospect, I'm doing my absolute best not to have any expectations. I've been disappointed by stuff like this before, and it has taught me the invaluable lesson of just letting things unfold as they do and accepting the events as they occur.
So that's what I'm going to do. I'll be ready and waiting. Maybe peeking around a little bit, but not actively searching. At the very least, I'll have a nice time supporting my friends who have a booth and a fiction writing talk respectively, and seeing some neat art and dope cosplays. Or, you know, engage in a critical and sacred union with my cosmic twin in this lifetime as we have done in other lifetimes. Whichever.
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C2E2 ROUND UP POST
this past weekend was C2E2 and it was incredible! i got to hang out with, and meet some, amazing people! got to get my cosplay on! just basically i am so glad that the big chicago con turned out to be so amazing and even though i am very broke, i didnt need money to make it fun and worth while!
now, time for that round up post:
obviously first off is cosplay, i cosplayed all three days which was super fun and thankfully (almost) all of my cosplays were comfortable enough for me to get around and see the con without any issue!
friday i was bobbi morse, in the style of the mockingbird 8 cover. which was perfect for exploring the show floor in though i did get stopped a number of time by people asking me what exactly my "feminist agenda" was (which tbc is kiss cute girls)
saturday, i was the agents of shield version of madame hydra, which was a hit in the best of way. which was most people telling me how evil and awful she was and getting my photo op with iain de caestecker where we looked "evil"
sunday, i closed out the con with my bombshell jesse quick which was when things got complicated because apparently knowing how to ice skates does not mean knowing how to roller skate and i may or may not have fallen down 3 times before giving up and dropping my skates off at the age of geeks table in cosplay central
really one of the great things about cosplaying is being recognized for your character and each time i had that happen. with bobbi i was stopped a lot for photos, which was helped by the fact that the lovely @geeky-mikaboo was dressed as america chavez! with madame hydra, i took one step into the convention center and was stopped for photos instantly + hanging out at aos stuff all day made me recognizable. while with jesse quick i had a few people recognize me (someone yelled "i love you jesse quick" while i was on the show floor, i did get called bombshell flash a few times and "one of those iron man dancers"???
some celeb highlights include:
the wynonna earp panel + meet and greet afterwards. i didnt even know this was happening until the day of but it was such a wonderful surprise! the panel was really chill and the cast was just right there mingling with us all before it started - we gave tim rozen recommendations for what good chicago food he had to try when he was in town, including chicago style hot dogs! - i got selfies with the guys ( this and that ), who were all so incredible and just very fun to talk to- talked to new cast member varut about who good legion is and how he should read mockingbird among other lady led comics (he called me a feminist icon when he autographed my poster)- emily andras was incredible and just so supportive of the fans and honestly that means a lot
meeting iain de caestecker + the agents of shield panel- iain was super great and said "you're madame hydra that's incredible" when i first came up to his table - later when we had out photo op i asked him to look evil with me and iain said afterwards that he wasnt sure if he looked more confused or evil and when he wrote on my photo op he said we looked "evil ish" - we also confirmed that his evil fist is the arthur meme (tell me i am wrong??)- getting into the shield panel was a whole mess because we had an hour delay due to the projector started smoking and everyone had to be evacuated - a lot of great tidbits from the panel but honestly the highlight was iain confirming that robot sex def happened (if you want you can watch the whole panel on twitch)- just basically iain was incredible and he needs to do cons more !!
we also met elizabeth henstridge who was really sweet, and is really pretty, and it was just for a small second but she was really nice
we met zachary levi, because this line was empty and we just wanted to say hello! he was super chill and gave a shout out for mika's cousin who is a big tangled fan which was adorable.
we met danielle panabaker and were kind of sarcastic shits but to be fair it was all meant in kindness and she probably hates us now. also we asked by sky high and if we'd ever get a sequel ? sky grad school? sky day care?
other general highlights include:
friday's rotten tomatoes panel,, which included the chance to get up on the big screen by tweeting with their hashtag and i may have gone a bit twitter crazy, but you guys have seen my liveblogging tv shows did you honestly expect anything less of me?? (bonus i got free movie tickets, because i made it up there so many times so guess who is seeing guardians of the galaxy 2 this weekend!)
i did five professional cosplay photoshoots, and since you are here on my cosplay blog i know you are all excited for those !! (or well i am oops)
the mcdonalds at the convention center running out of mcnuggets and fries and basically everything, like i was lucky i got a soda by the end of the day because this place was so packed !! even tho like 20 min after i sat down to eat they apparently got more mcnuggets ??(note to self next time: pack a lunch)
drinking at the hyatt bar saturday night and all the fun that came with that!
honestly just ?? surviving three days with only a minor cause of the con plague and a handful of bruises (mostly from falling while on skates)
last but not least, just shout out to everyone i met up with at the con there is too many people to tag! you are all amazing!
until next time!
next con? acen, maybe? or motor city comic con? i need to decide since theyre the same weekend...
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We Spoke to 'Shazam!' Actor Zachary Levi About Finally Landing a Superhero Role
This article originally appeared on VICE Canada.
Imagine being a comics head and self-professed nerd, only to age into a good-looking 6-foot-4 tall dude being paid to wear literal spandex and capes. This is actor Zachary Levi in 2019, and he’s living his best life now.
“The whole time I was really hoping they wouldn’t change their minds,” he told VICE when speaking of his role as DC’s Shazam!, which opens today. “It’s probably why I peed in the suit, to mark my territory.”
The comedic actor best known for his role as the titular character in Chuck, joins the whole superhero cape squad playing a character once famous for standing toe to toe with Supes in the 1940s. In terms of an origin, it’s your basic 1940s comic plot—a young Billy Batson basically comes across an Egyptian wizard who gifts him with the transformative power and wisdom of the gods. From there, all it takes is a shout of “Shazam!” to turn a kid into a grown adult with a thunder signia.
Like I said, 1940s.
It’s been an up-and-down ride for DC since Christopher Nolan’s Batman movies wrapped up, especially compared to the mammoth success of Marvel. Wonder Woman set a critically beloved tone, Aquaman made a billion dollars, but there’s also been terrible movies like Justice League and Suicide Squad. Currently, Shazam!—modern DC’s most kid-friendly movie to date—is holding a 92% Rotten Tomato score, so things could be looking up for DC in 2019, especially given the anticipation over the Joker film.
Either way, it’s all exciting stuff and VICE had a chance to talk to Zachary Levi about his ideas around heroism, and why he sees it as important to eliminate the toxicity around the term “nerd.”
VICE: Given how much you’ve professed to being a nerd, It’s got to be an exciting moment for you right now. Zachary Levi: Oh dude, it’s such an exciting moment right now, and surreal if I’m going to be honest. I keep trying to explain it to family and friends and the words always fail me. It’s just groovy I’m super grateful.
I feel like you’ve been campaigning to be a superhero for a while though. I don’t know if I’ve campaigned that much, but I’ll say that it’s not lost on anyone that I find that whole superhero world to be delightful. Many know that I grew up reading comic books playing video-games, and still do. So I guess I was lucky enough to have gravitated toward those worlds, whether it was the Thor franchise or the Heroes series. I often thought that it wouldn’t go beyond that. It would be my one play and that superhero comic book moment I did that one time. But here I am, essentially reborn into the DC universe, wearing the whole spandex and cape deal.
But tell me how you really feel as a regular guy. How does it feel to take on this character? It’s really a mix of feelings. There’s the elation I felt as the kid in me, where I was like holy shit, this is so cool. But then there was the actor in me, who’s been doing this for 20 years while being blessed to be kicking around auditioning rooms in Hollywood, TV, and film for a while. That was a real sobering moment. I didn’t think it was going to happen. And I suppose the irony of life is that things happen when you least expect them to.
When I took the time to really think about it all with a clear and sober head, I realized how a role like this was something that was very rare to land in my lap. There are a ton of actors constantly vying for this. And sure, I’ve been very successful by some people’s measurements, but I didn’t think I was that successful to be honest. I wasn’t that famous guy who was going to lead anything, especially as a superhero in a movie of this caliber. For the longest time, I’ve been a journeyman actor, but DC still believed in me. I wanted to honor that along with the character. Shazam’s been around for 80 years. That’s 80 years of fans going out of their way to support a guy once known as Captain Marvel who couldn’t sell like his Batman and Superman counterparts. That’s an incredibly deep, cool, and rich lineage. The whole time I was really hoping they wouldn’t change their minds. It’s probably why I peed in the suit to mark my territory.
What do you draw from when you have to play a hero that’s a 14-year-old kid with the wisdom of an elder like Shazam ? Fortunately for me, and unfortunately for my parents and the girls I dated in the past, I’ve refused to grow up, I’m guessing that was a part of the ingredients. I’ve definitely tried to embrace the actual unit of responsibility and accountability that is important as you mature. But I’ve also tried to maintain the things that keep me young. My imagination, humor, heart, and wonder. Beyond the role, these are the joys I genuinely try to practice and that I believe in. Whether it be video games, comic books, movies or just being silly with friends. I could only assume that it was the special sauce that DC needed to give me the job. A grown ass man who was believably young at heart.
I kept having to remind myself not to overthink moments. We as adults overthink constantly, but kids are just feeling their way through life. They’re kind of reactionary, and very in the moment. They’re totally free to be silly. I was reminded of that every day through working with kids in this movie. It’s like, just have fun with it and be silly with them. Hell, I brought my Nintendo Switch and hooked it up for some multiplayer, those little things helped. As far as the wisdom, when you think about it, intellect and wisdom are two very different things. There are kids who may not be informed, but they display wisdom in other ways and through their perspectives. It’s not mutually exclusive.
What’s our definition of a nerd in 2019? Because there’s a lot of negative connotations being associated with it on a more toxic fandom level. There’s a lot of really cool momentum with the term. For the longest time, there was a derogatory connotation around it that had more to do with appearances. The stereotypical horn-rimmed glasses and pocket detectors types who were super into science, technology, video games, and all that, which by the way, I am all of those things minus the glasses and pocket detector. If we’re being honest, it’s fictitious term. It was made up by Dr. Seuss and it has nothing to do with any of the things I just mentioned. Either way, one of the things I’ve tried to do with my former company Nerd Machine, and event company, Nerd HQ, is find ways to foster conversations that re-examine the word.
As far as I’m concerned, being nerdy means you’re passionate. You could be a cards, fashion, makeup, sports, or gym nerd. It’s whatever. I just use it synonymously with passion. I think it helps by making it a more inclusive term, and one that embraces nerdiness through whatever you’re passionate about. It’s such a joke that you’ve got these stereotypical nerds attending comic-con or cosplaying, and then you’ve got the average jock who’s prone to making fun of these people for dressing up as cartoon, video game, or anime character. These are the same sports fans that go to a football game without a shirt on while dosing themselves with colors and random headgear. That’s fucking cosplay too. It’s the same thing [laughs]. Let’s just be honest about it and not yuck each other up. Let everyone embrace what they love as long as it isn’t a negative to others.
You’re also some who grew up reading about heroes as you’ve already mentioned in this interview. What does it mean to be a hero in 2019 with your adult lens? My idea of what a hero is, is pretty much what I always thought I hero was. It’s something that any one of us can be, and all of us have been one at some point in our lives. It’s a moment when a person can see clearly enough to know what’s true and feel deeply enough about that truth to fight for it. All of us have different platforms to do that, and we have the ability to dig at what’s real and fact rather than opinion driven by bias and fear. We need to really distill what’s actually right and fight for it. All of us can do that. It’s just a matter of feeling that conviction.
I’m glad you said that. I thought it was unselfish of you to defend Brie Larson when she was being unfairly attacked leading up to the Captain Marvel release. Thanks man, and that directly ties to what I was saying. I’ve known Brie Larson for a long time, and we have mutual friends, so I’m so stoked for her success and everything that she’s doing. For me, it was just a matter of standing up for what was true. It wasn’t about coming to the rescue of Brie Larson or Captain Marvel as if she needed rescuing, it was a scenario where a lie was being spoken. I knew they were lies and I had the ability to speak the truth in love, so the people spreading those lies wouldn’t feel attacked in a cycle. They weren’t taking the right path and we need to be able to call that out.
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