#(even if this one is dani boning a dude. sorry)

[crimsonandcloverwrites]

two whole months of Dani's Dating Adventure Journal Posts are up!

[malcolmwhitly-bright]

Your, Mine... Ours

Chapter 2: Uh-oh

----------Month 3------------

“What’s this?” Malcolm stands proudly on the other side of her desk. She’s a little sleep-deprived and she’s attempting to nurse away the headache making itself known at the base of her temple. Yet, with each ding of her computer, the sound of each new email coming in, it’s getting harder and harder to ward off. Not to mention the proud smirk across Malcolm’s pale lips and the half perched leg he has on her desk so he can sit. He’s done it a thousand times before, sit on her desk, but right now it’s grating her nerves.

He tilts his head, squinting in a way that tells her he expected for her to make the impossible connection with the strange purple fruit on her desk. Rather than keep her waiting her fills in,” it’s a plum!” He touches it with the tip of his finger, rolling it so that it bumps up against her wrist. She scowls at it. “You know…” he says, eager for her to understand where he’s going with this but nervous when she fails to understand. “Dani,” the way he says her voice is disapproving. As if he were the responsible level headed one and she was the idiot that gets hurt all the time and runs into danger without a second thought. “Didn’t you get that app!?”

The app. Two weeks ago Malcolm had made some comment about a baby app but, if she’s honest, she wasn’t really listening. He was manic, besides himself with energy and misplaced anxiety. He was talking a mile a minute, his gestures so animated JT had to duck one of his thrown out hands. It wasn’t important, her mind supplied and paid him little to no attention.

In her opinion, it’s still not that important but it’s irking him now that she didn’t listen so at least she’s a little sorry. “No,” she mumbles and she feels a strong, overwhelming mix of anger and sadness. She’s upset that she didn’t listen, that he’s feeling upset too. The anger is at herself for those feelings. Unreasonable, stupid… pregnancy feelings. “I… forgot,” she lies and his eyes, sad blue oceans of his thoughts, betray his hurt. He knows she lied. “Can you…” she’s not sure why the app matters or even why the fruit does but it matters to him. “Malcolm, please explain to me the importance of this…” she gestures to the fruit, already having forgotten its name.

He smiles sadly,” plum.”

“Okay,” she nods. “Explain to me the importance of the plum, please.”

He looks adamant and she hates that she’d allowed him to feel inadequate, unheard. He fidgets, rocking himself in a way she recognizes as self-soothing. In the way, he does when he’s anxious. “It’s a plum,” he mumbles more than says. His right hand comes to his mouth but he pulls it away. “The app,” he keeps rocking, worrying with his fingers. “You said you were having trouble tracking your progress but the app catalogs it for you. It tells you how far along you are and how big the baby is.” He nods to the plum, cheeks flushed. “This morning the app said your baby is the size of a plum.”

Tears swell in her eyes. His thoughtfulness making her chest tight, her stomach hurt. How is it that he cares so much for her and all she does it turn around and hurt him? “Really?” She can’t keep her tears at bay and the sight of them makes his face pale and his mouth open. “Malcolm,” the sudden emotional heaviness of the moment is made worse by the use of his first name. She always calls him Bright. “A plum?” Her hand goes, reflexively, to her stomach. Fingers ghosting over the tiny bump that hadn’t been there three months previous.

“Dammit dude,” JT mumbles as he walks through the cluster of their desk. He frowns softly at Dani, no doubt feeling awful for whatever Malcolm has said that has turned her into a gooey, crying mess. “What’d you say,” JT doesn’t even hesitate, just pulls her against his side. She breathes in his comfort, the warmth and solidity of him versus the raging unbalanced instability in her.

Malcolm simply blushes harder stuttering over,” the baby is the size of a plum.”

Dani feels ten times worse because now he’s going to shy away from talking about the baby at all. She’s probably scared him.

“Fuck sake,” JT mumbles as her tears start coming harder. He rubs her back and she feels ridiculous. Emotionally, she’s a mess and beyond that, it’s not a huge change for physically and mentally. She’s messing everything up. “Come on,” JT says softly, his arms still around her. “Come lay on the couch.” He guides her the whole way, gentle in a way she knows he reserves for Tally and victims. She sinks into the couch and allows herself to be pulled into a nap as JT settles the blanket from over the back of the couch over her.

----------

“Malcolm,” JT warns, he can see Malcolm ebbing closer to Dani silently working. It’s not a ‘getaway’ but more of a ‘for the love of God don’t make her cry again’. The message is more or less received. Malcolm nods his head and offers an anxious smile before shuffling into their circle the rest of the way.

“Bright,” Dani greets, she’s been working none stop since her nap. Pausing only when JT asked her about a case he was filing. Needing her better memory for detail he simply couldn’t conjure from his mind. Her progress was being halted, still is, by a single comment Malcolm made. “This morning the app said your baby is the size of a plum.” Had he downloaded the app and if so, how far had he gone out of his way this morning to deliver her a plum? A plum that was supposed to carry significance to her but only spoke measures to how wrong he had been about their friendship.

He shifts on his feet, another anxiety riddles habit. She curses herself for causing him discomfort. “Uhm, I was gonna go for a walk…” he clenches his fist and before she can stop herself she glances at his trembling hands. He’s absolutely unnerved. “E-Exercise,” he stumbles,” helps. It’s proven to help in delivery and easy back pains and fatigue associated with pregnancy.”

There he goes again knowing way too much about pregnancies but she’s not going to push it. She looks at her screen, she’s got about five minutes of work left. “Can you wait just a minute, please?”

He nods.

It’s colder than she remembers it being this morning. The sun is hidden behind thick clouds nearly the color of the sky. “It’s going to snow,” Malcolm observes, his eyes looking up at them too. She’s amazed by the conviction in his voice. She glances at him and pauses, captured in how young he suddenly looks. His age, she realizes. He’s not being worn down with the memory of his father or his malformed coping mechanisms. Just a man, caught in the clouds.

He snaps back to her, to Earth and away from the clouds. He smiles at her attention,” what?” All of his anxious movements are absent. His hands are in his coat pockets, his feet keeping a steady movement as they walk. She takes a minute too long and his cheeks fill with heat.

“You just looked…” all the words that cross her mind are not appropriate. Attractive is what she says but happy is what she says. Her answer must be good because he smiles one of those earth-quaking smiles and glances at her. She tries not to make it obvious the knots that smile ties her stomach in.

He glances back up,” I… I love the snow.” It feels like the first time he’s truly told her something. Not immediacy, the fake intimacy of half-truths. Something real and true and she can see it in his eyes. “Gil,” the smile is turned to her now. “He hated the snow but he always took me out. Let me get soaked to the bone and we’d go back to Jackie.” He keeps glancing back over to her,” she’d get us in warm clothes, fussing in Spanish the whole time.”

She can picture it well enough. She’d met Jackie a handful of times after her overdose back when Gil believed anything could be fixed if you sat in a squad car long enough. Jackie was beautiful even with silver hair and always made Gil promise to have Dani back to her house before it got too late. Sometimes even packing them both snacks. She imagines that Gil, happy and light, with the Malcolm pictured on Gil’s desk.

Malcolm laughs softly,” I miss her.”

Strangely, Dani does too.

They pass a block in thoughtful silence. Malcolm seems to always make the silence natural, comfortable. He bumps into her shoulder, his attention split between walking and looking at the stores as they pass. “Have you gotten a sonogram yet?”

There he goes again with those questions she’s just not sure how he came up with. She shakes her head, embarrassment. “No,” and admit that she has a child to raise on her own?’ Her mother is disappointed in her choices, in her childlike behavior that has lead to this: going back to Estime. The others don’t know yet but when they do… “There are some problems with my insurance and…”

Malcolm stops walking, his face pinched in confusion. It takes Dani a moment but she stops too, backtracking so she’s standing by him. “Your insurance isn’t good,” he asks, head tilted and face still pinched. She shakes her head and he makes a sound at the back of his throat. “You could use mine.”

“Malcolm-”

“No,” he mutters but his conviction is strong. He shakes his head,” you need good insurance so you can be healthy, right?” He doesn’t wait for her answer so much as her eye contact. “You need good insurance so your baby can be healthy.” He nods his head like he’s finalized the thought,” I can put you with mine. It’s not like money is a problem. It wouldn’t even be hard.” Sensing her distrust of this idea he softens his tone from convicted to pleading,” please, Dani.” A thought comes to mind,” call it my baby shower gift.”

Except, she knows it won’t end there. “Fine.”

[When you forget to update the chapter on Tumblr but the second chapter has been on AO3 since forever and now you’re almost done with chapter 3 *fake author guilt*]

[letbarbieshavedragons]

I would love to read more about Jon!Mad, even tho i dont want him to go "mad". generale i would want to read about jon, that doesn't include any stupid ship wars. I also hate the label "mad"🙄like why can they just develop as characters without being bad/evil or mad or staying flawless "heroic" (like the portrayed jon, even tho it was so intresting to watch as a wet blanket🤦‍♀️) just develop into a complexe, grey, torn human being that would exit in their hard position, (oh and I'm a girl🥰)

Couldn’t agree more my dude (I use dude as a gender neutral term lol sorry if that’s confusing. I’m a girl too, I can use dudette if you prefer) I don’t really want Jon to go mad either, I don’t really want anyone to go “mad” (other than like a small petty part of me just to stick it to antis) I don’t really think it’s very good story telling, like you said there needs to be moral complexity.

But I do think it would at least be more “subversive” if it were Jon rather then Dany. Literally nothing about Dany’s storyline would be made subversive by having her go mad. If anything it’s the opposite. She is already a subversive character, having her go mad would make her into a “power hungry women are evil” trope. While Jon is kind of a standard fantasy protag, having him go mad instead of his female counterpart is actually unexpected and subversive.

And on that point I would like to see a darker Jon in the books, not a “mad” Jon, but I really don’t want book Jon to fall into the same vanilla “hero that can do no wrong” trap show Jon did. I want to see him fail and make hard decisions and make the wrong hard decisions bc these thing aren’t black and white and sometimes you do bad things bc the other option is worse and doing nothing is even worse and the decision you made was wrong bc youre not perfect and you have your own biases and character flaws, but at least you tried you best. Like that is what I want from Jon. Not this ‘my sweet gf all of a sudden went crazy and murdered a bunch of people so I had to kill her, woe is me, so much mangst” 😢, kind of “hard choices”, where no one will actually questions his “integrity” or “righteousness” for putting down the mean mad queen. Or

But back to the point. Like I said, I also don’t really like the idea of “mad” characters, so I don’t really want it for any character. The entire concept doesn’t really make sense. Are they mentally ill or evil? bc it’s not the same thing. You can’t just say someone is delusional and is thus obviously evil, that’s not how it works. Someone can have hallucinations, paranoia and delusions but not have a single violent or “evil” bone in their body.

Really the more you think about the Mad Dany plotline the more absurd it becomes. Like it’s one thing to have her lose touch with reality out of grief or whatever (still didn’t make sense but that’s a different point) and it’s an entirely different thing to then say that allows her to commit mass murder. Like she just risked her life to save these people and now bc she’s “crazy with grief” or “Targ madness” or whatever she’s violent? That’s a) really problematic and b) doesn’t make any sense.

And that kind of sums up my problem with “mad” kings/queens in general. It’s fucking lazy and relies heavily on the dangerous belief that mental illness= violence. You can have a villain king/queen without them being “mad”. In fact that’s way more interesting bc now they have motivations other than I’m crazy so I will burn you.

Sorry this turned into a rant. Thanks for the ask!

[hurricaneself]

Game of Thrones S8 E3 Response (SPOILERS)

Okay my responses to this week's episode, SPOILERS AHEAD DON'T READ UNLESS YOU SAW THE EPISODE:

1. the dothraki charge was fucking pointless. WHY DID THEY THINK THAT WOULD WORK AT ALL?! They just fuckin destroyed the Khalsaar for NOTHING! Pisses me off. Sure it looked cool, but THERE IS MORE POINT TO THEM THAN A COOL LOOKING SHOT!

2. Ned ALWAYS said "Winterfell could be held with only 500 men." So what was the point of having the bulk of the army outside the gates at ALL?! Smh stupid stupid stupid.

3. Since they put dragonglass points on the tips of the walls (where no wights could climb in the first place), why TF didn't they put those tips on EVERY top of the walls to defend from wights crawling over the walls instead of on the top where they wouldn't be coming over AT ALL?! Smh stupid stupid stupid

4. How do fully decomposed, BONES of the dead Starks break through the stones & walls of their crypts? That made no sense. But since Jon SAW Hardhome & KNEW NK could raise the dead at any point... Why weren't the crypts reinforced to make it impossible for the dead Starks to come out of the crypts? Oh maybe cuz we thought how TF could BONES escape crypts in the first place?! I call this as I see it... A cop out by the writers to make shit "more suspenseful," but really it dont make sense AT ALL.

5. Am I the only one who felt the NK raising the dead to avoid a fight with Jon was a bloody COP OUT?!

6. Is Rhaegal dead or alive? He seemed to go down when he crash landed with Jon and left Jon on the battlefield (or Jon left him). But I saw him in the promo for next week... I am CONFUSED about this. Especially since multiple "episode review" articles list Rhaegal as dead but here other's list him as alive and I thought he died but saw the clips for the next episode and just wtf I'm confused.

7. Wtf was 3-Eyed-Bran doing the entire episode in his warging state? AND wtf happened to Ghost?! (Okay I guess that's 2 points but I aint renumbering my entire post for it sorry)

8. I looooooved that Lyanna wasn't going down unless she took the wight giant with her. That imo is the ONLY way she could die. It was done right... But I still cried when she died. RIP the little girl who could shame grown ass northerners into the right... And RIP House Mormont.... IF ONLY SHE HAD LISTENED TO JORAH

9. Jorah's death was fitting in that he went down protecting Dany with his dying breath. And DAMN that scene of Dany crying over him AND Drogon laying there mourning him. Oh the feels! I cried. I can't believe they didn't let him say those last words he was struggling to tell Dany before he died. Dude, the writers could have AT LEAST let him die mid-sentence, NOT choke off any chance for him to say he loved Dany or that she will be okay etc. Otherwise, I was satisfied with his ending... It's sad for sure, but we knew not everyone was going to make it.... And he deserved to say those words dammit!!!

10. Arya was an inspiring bad ass the ENTIRE episode. Even when she was scrambling in the library, which honestly wasnt that great, but I get why cuz it was Beric's purpose to save her so she could kill NK. I literally whooped and shouted in joy when she used that move to kill him. I think it was perfectly fitting.... Buuuuut, why couldn't they have shown us HOW she even GOT to the NK?! Like obvi she had to have taken a wights face, run across treetops, or Bran warged a dragon to drop her in.... But NOT showing THAT and her just appearing outta nowhere to kill NK seems like a cop out of the writers tryin to make us believe NK was gonna succeed in killing 3-Eyed-Bran, which is just annoying to me. I think it wouldve been more suspenseful if we had to hold our breath knowing Arya was going after NK rather than the route they took of her coming outta no where across a circle of wights and WW.

I admit I am a little too invested in this show and was 100% knawing on my hand in anxiety the entire episode. Ok... I'll shut up cuz this is a veeeeeeeery long comment haha thx for putting up w/ me Tumblr

[arisalty]

i’ve been here the whole time singing you a song

This one-shot was made for @notveryglittery , whose birthday is today, so Happy Birthday!

Tbh I planned the basic outline and wasn't even going to introduce quite a few characters but I did and I went with it - I hope yall like it :) As this is my first time writing Royality, any constructive criticism is accepted!

lowkey want to plan something else for this now but also don't want to set another target just yet as im a bit busy and dont wanna overload myself :/ yikes oh well

Dani, Happy Birthday! Enjoy this Royality!

AO3

Word count: 

Roman had noticed a few things lately. One at the forefront of his mind was that Patton Heart was really fucking adorable.

Of course, nobody could know of this. If anyone of his friends found out he would be screwed.

Yes, his whole friend group were gay (or ace, or bi, or pan or nonbinary) disasters, but they were also incredibly good wing-people, with a high rate of getting two people dating -- and Roman didn’t want to ruin the naturalness of their friendship.

And worse he couldn’t let anyone know that The Emperor had a crush. And by extension, that meant that he couldn’t allow his crime-fighting partner (and asshat of an older brother) to find out; Virgil’s tongue was always looser when donned with the costume of Poison Shadow. And the city would be in an uproar of the thought of The Emperor liking someone romantically- and if it ever got out who it was, it would put Patton in serious danger.

But Roman couldn’t help but notice the little smiles Patton gets when talking about some of the animals in the shelter he volunteered at, or the ways his eyes light up when he gushed about the heroes of the city.

The way his open gaze instilled a feeling of trust.

And dear lord it was not helping the gay mess that was Roman Kingston.

“Alright, shithead, what’s up with you?”

“I tell you and I’m doomed you insolent sloth.” The owner of the monotonous voice shot a glance at the prying sibling.

“Right. That’s really fucking useful to know.” Dripping sarcasm; the asshat was not only prying but also getting annoyed now! Yay!

“Oh, piss off. Let me be a disaster in peace.”

The elder stood, shaking his head, before walking to the other edge of the rooftop they were perched on.

“Hurry up! Today is a sparring day.” Virgil, seeing Roman making no attempt to move, pushed forward with his mind, pushing the darkest shadows up until they were able to slap Roman across the face. “Come on, idiot. The night isn’t gonna last forever!”

Grumbling, the man in his late teens stood from his position on the edge of the rooftop, reluctantly turning at the end of the roof, with sarcastic jazz hands at his sides.

And just like that, they were sparring. Virgil completely flattened The Emperor in 3 separate rounds before some sense seemed to be knocked into the dramatic hero’s head. The furious flashes of light and dark clashed throughout the area, silent except the heavy breathing of the men, and the jibes thrown between the space between them.

It was another while before they were tired, as their sparring took place at least twice a week- they needed to stay in shape even over their sports and workouts.

Roman sat on the edge of the rooftop next to his brother, slowly regaining his breath.

When the villain attacked, it was not appreciated by the two teens. They were tired and generally unwilling to have to use their already exhausted powers. Their fighting was lacklustre and they took any moment they could to stop and perch off railings or on rooftops.

Flashes of light across the night were brief but would warp the situation, allowing shadows, viscous as ink moved away in slow patterns, stalking the villain until finding it’s perfect time to strike, pushing the villain backwards, dragging them forwards then dropping them off the edge of the building.

Yet the villain didn’t waver in power. At a mere flick of fingers, the Emperor fell backwards, barely left any time to make a platform for him to stagger onto.

How were they going to get this person then?

“What does your immoral soul bother us with, foul villain?”

“Oh, nothing really. I was just bored, so I decided to mess around with these powers I earnt the other day.”

The pale blue light of the moon offset by the warmer glow from the Emperor's hand gave enough light to see fangs flash under the mask that covered the upper half of their face.

“Why set about destroying the city, fuckwad? Why not just, I don’t know, sleep, like a normal person?”

“Ew, no, sleep? That drains me more. Plus, don’t we all need to have a little bit of chaos in our lives?”

Roman could feel the eyes rolling in his elder’s head.

“What the fuck about us two says put together, dipshit? We’re fucking disasters!”

“My fair partner has a valid point. We are fucking disasters ,” Roman eyed the inky lattice forming under the villain's feet for a second before he continued. “We’re both messes of human beings in general- have you seen his room, it's an atrocity - and my room has far too much stuff that I am far too attached to get rid of. Then there's the point that we’re both doing this along with studying for school which in itself drains your energy and the final point is, well,”—the smirk thrown his way by Poison Shadow was all he needed—”We really aren’t all that dumb.”

Poison Shadow ripped his fist upwards, the shadowed lattice folding and bending around the villain, as the Emperor reached out and began to set the still fluid shadows. The cage kept the villain in, and finally, the villain showed some kind of emotion; fear radiated from their composure; arms wrapped around their torso, fist fiddling with their cloak edge, shoulders up to their ears.

Roman pitied the now much smaller opponent. Ego and expectations of power high in their mind with newfound strength ruled their minds. The Emperor turned away, patting Poison Shadow on the back as went after he silently checked his brother was okay with dealing with him.

As he crossed the bridged gap between buildings, he heard his brother’s cry, and then he felt himself flying backwards over buildings, body limp as a rag doll as his brain tried to comprehend which was up or down or the sky or ground. Once he finally stopped moving, he found himself winded and bruised and somehow not broken- though he felt it- on a balcony. With a very familiar curious face peering down at him.

Patton. Fucking. Heart.

It was his luck, wasn’t it? He’d get thrown about like an unused toy to be left in his worst state on the balcony of one of his favourite people in the world.

“Oh my goodness, are you all right? Is anything broken? Do you need some water, food, comfort?” The stream of babble poured from Patton, his pale blue eyes wide with worry, both searching his body to analyse for damage and keeping eye contact to calm the disorientated hero.

Thank goodness these powers strengthen my bones and skin.

“Uhm… I think… I’ll be,” The Emperor was interrupted by a fit of coughing, which he dealt with but rolling onto his front and slowly making his way to his knees. “Actually, could I, uh, have a glass of water.”

Patton nodded earnestly, and even through the lingering dizziness pounding in his mind, Roman could make out the curls of Patton’s hair reflecting the cool blue of the moon. The smaller figure retreated into the building, just as Roman felt a buzz in his pocket.

Pulling out the smartphone, he huffed at the once again smashed screen to read the text he received.

Very Early Womb-mate - 11:35

-- sorry dude didnt see that coming

-- dick had us fooled into thinkin he was subdued

--you went flying tho, it was kinda hilarious

-- i got it handled, he’s trapped until police arrive

Me - 11:38

--oh ok

Very Early Womb-mate - 11:39

-- u ok? Or do i need to pick u up

Me - 11:40

-- nah it’s cool i landed on a classmates balcony, just a bit dizzy

Very Early Womb-mate - 11:40

-- cool, dickwad, dont reveal anything

Me - 11:40

-- bold of you to assume i would

-- k byeeee xxx :)))))

Very Early Womb-mate - 11:41

-- :/

Patton returned, carrying the glass.

“I’m so sorry it took me so long to get back, my parents were wondering what happened and I figured you didn't want to be crowded so I just made up a lie and then they got me to do a quick job and uh— here.”

Roman took the drink, downing as much of it as he could, before stopping to try and stand.

“Tough villain, huh?”

“Yeah, I guess. I was knocked back ���cos I was caught off guard. I thought Poison had got them - he was inside a huge cage, you see - so when he lashed out again after being subdued it surprised us.”

Roman looked over the city wistfully. The sky was clear and the air was fresh, with little to no breeze. Roman took this time to notice that Patton was wearing only his pyjamas and a zip hoodie thrown over the top.

“Do you need to help Poison Shadow then? It looked like you were thrown far.”

“Nah, Patton, he sent a few texts to say he handled it.”

Patton nodded in understanding, before cocking his head sideways.

“Wait, you know me?”

Shit.

Roman ran through his words and cursed at his loose mouth.

“Uh, oh yeah,” Roman coughed out, scratching at his neck, unconsciously picking at the skin. “You, uh, go to the same school as me. We’re in the same year, actually.”

You’re oversharing! The voice of his brother rang out in his head.

“Wait, really?”

God, Roman absolutely adored the way Patton’s eyes lit up, the tiny specks of green almost glowing in the natural light around them. Anything else and Roman might actually die on the spot. He just thanked his younger-little-dramatic-shit self and wanted to hide his and Virge’s faces from the world - at least Patton wouldn't be able to see his glowing red face.

“That’s so cool! I could tell you were a teen, I didn’t realise you were like, that close to me!” Patton waved his hands about excitedly, and that’s it. Roman felt like he was melting into a puddle. His friend was so cute, and he just wanted to hold Patton to his chest and treasure him and spoil him with cakes and serenades and movie nights.

Roman somehow managed to keep talking for a while, but he was going to go insane soon. He just wanted to give Patton a hug, goddamnit !

They were shook from their conversation by the door opening to reveal Declan Heart, whose eyes flew open at the visitor Patton apparently had.

“Oh my god, Logan, come out here,” he hissed out of the side of his mouth, mismatching eyes darting from the sheepish look on Patton's face to the city known hero on his house’s balcony.

When Declan’s twin cast appeared in the doorway, Patton waved, somewhat cheery, opposed to Roman’s more fidgety behaviour, his skin prickling under the gazes of the two older twins. He had only met Logan on one occasion, and he was intimidated, to say the least.  

“Suprise!” Patton giggled, with jazz hands waving at his brothers, very different from the delivery Virgil would have given in this situation.

“I knew that there was a lie somewhere in your excuse earlier!” Declan’s quiet exclamation made its way into the silence, but this just made Roman more uncomfortable under the blank stare he was receiving from Logan.

"Well, I had to because otherwise, this ," — Patton waved at the group they had formed around the hero — "would happen and the last thing that needs to happen after being thrown really far and being bashed about is being crowded. Plus, this was my lucky day." Patton giggled, throwing a wink sideways to Roman, and oh no , Roman was a mess. He felt like spontaneously combusting while gripping his heart and dramatically dying on the floor where he stood.

Yet the only reaction to this was somehow a brief panic before a smile broke out and Roman was able to laugh along a bit.

"Patton, why, might I ask, did you conceal this from both me and Declan? I understand your point on crowded-ness but you also know of our fascination with the heroes and our possible future career paths."

Logan's words made Patton look down guiltily, revealing that Logan's words were true, but he fiddled with his bracelet on his wrist before looking upwards towards the elder twin.

"Because... Because I didn't want to?"

Patton then frowned, looking almost... angry. But not towards anyone- his gaze was at the floor, more as if he was angry at himself. Logan let a smile slip onto his lips, the same teasing smile once Virgil managed to wind up Roman.

"Valid reasoning. I know for a fact my excuse would be more or less the same."

Patton brightened up again, but Roman didn't have a chance to admire him again as Declan had burst out with an exclamation asking for an autograph.

This whisked away Roman's attention for a while, ending up in a selfie with the three with his magic glowing through his veins for proof of authenticity and various things being signed as well as a note Roman felt obligated to write to the Heart parents for their (unknown) hospitality.

He even got all of them to make a small piece of memorabilia for him to keep to remember them should he not be able to visit them again. Logan gave a small origami gift, Declan a yellow feather. In Patton's case, he had to think for a few seconds before his face absolutely lit up. He rushed a tiny, absolutely minuscule potted cactus, the plant itself being about the size of his thumb, to roman, with the most adorable and sincere face.

"Here! Take Ophelia - I grew her myself. That being said, it's probably best you don't have a feel of her , she's a bit prickly!"

A groan rumbled in Logan's throat at the pun, contrasting the chuckles from Roman and Dec, followed by the all too familiar buzz of Roman's phone.

Very Early Womb-mate - 12:56

-- What the FuCK you ass?? its been an hour or so what the fuck is taking you so long?????

-- mom's gonna start to freak, u need to get home as soon as u can

-- idiot

Me - 11:56

-- aksdflaksdhfkljkj what the fuck i lost track of time heck i'll get home asap

Roman shoved his cracked phone into a pocket and grinned sheepishly.

"My brother has warned me against impending doom known as my mother and her lectures if I don't return home soon. I thank you all for your lovely donations of memorabilia and allowing me to stay. However, it is nearly 1 o'clock and we have been out here an awfully long time. Farewell, fellow humans!"

Roman turned away, climbing over the railing and forming a golden step of light in front of him.

"Ah, right, that reminds me. We were sent up here to make sure you hadn't fallen asleep up here Patton. We got sidetracked though. Come on, Pat." Logan chimed.

As Roman was leaping away over steps made for him, he could faintly hear Patton respond about watering 'Candice' and 'Bobby', which he could assume were plants, before heading inside.

Roman luckily escaped with his hide when he managed to sneak in through the window just in time before his mom burst in, looking for him. He used the excuse of being on his phone as a reason for being awake - which did admittedly get his phone taken away - but at least he wouldn't have to listen to a rant.

And as he settled to sleep, he was caught up in thinking. Remembering. Adoring.

Yes, Roman was a mess, but at least tonight he could sleep easy after the beautiful image of Patton in the moonlight, playful glint in his eyes; him holding out a tiny cactus supplied with a pun; his excited face once he realised something interesting.

It wasn't much, but to Roman it was everything.

[kitten1618x]

GoT Afterthoughts 7x06 Beyond the Wall (Jonsa Edition) SPOILERS

Hello lovelies ... apologies for the delay! As most of you know, my Marine was home briefly. ❤️ 

 We begin our episode with the war room map/table in Dragonstone and a fire crackling in the background -ominous foreshadowing? We then join Jon and the boys hiking through the winter wonderland. Tormund being Tormund pokes Gendry for some fun, before the talk with Jon takes a more serious turn. He asks about the Dragon Queen, and Jon tells him that she'll only help if he bends the knee. Tormund tells Jon he's spent too much time with the freefolk and now he doesn't like kneeling. 

 Now, what Tormund said next admittedly confused me (and I'm paraphrasing): "Mance was a great man, a proud man, but how many of his people died for his pride?" To my knowledge it was Mance himself who died because he refused to kneel -not the freefolk? Were Wildlings slaughtered off-screen unbeknownst to us? I'm not being facetious -if I'm wrong in my confusion, someone please correct me. Otherwise, what we have here is a plot hole -almost like Tormund giving Jon a reason to kneel, to not be like Mance and not put his family and people in peril over his pride. I'm not ready to bag on the writing just yet, but this is a blatant inconsistency -just sayin'.... 

 But moving on ... Gendry airs his grievances with the brotherhood and the Hound tells him to suck it up buttercup and that's that for now. We are then brought to Jon and Jorah speaking not of Dany (which, ya know -would make sense since this whole "epic romance" plot and all) but instead, they are bonding over their fallen fathers. 

 Jon: “my father was the most honorable man I've ever met, he was good all the way through, and he died on the executioners block.” (We'll come back to this). 

Honorable Ned's son, honorable Jon takes off Longclaw and offers it to Jorah. Jorah insists that Jon keep it, deeming himself unworthy. 

 Jorah: “It's yours. May it serve you well, and your children after you.”

Cue WINTERFELL music and a pensive looking Jon. Contemplating your future children, Jon? Imagining their red hair and curls? Tully and Stark looking? Okay, I'll stop now -but come on guys -what an Easter egg! And right from there we jump to Winterfell (SURPRISE) and Jon's future wife (and mother of his children).

Our lovely Stark sisters are in the traditional Stark spot upon the battlements. Arya tells a heartwarming tale of Ned catching her practicing archery and clapping when she finally hit the bullseye. It was sweet, and lovely, and everything I'd been praying for for weeks, but then the accusations fly and all is lost. Arya has the letter that Cersei made Sansa pen to Robb. Sansa is naturally upset about this and defends herself with the truth: they made her write it (even Robb knew that when he read it, geez Arya come on -It's not like you did/didn't do things, too!). Does everyone remember when she was Tywin's cupbearer? Because I do. 

 I don't blame either of my precious angels for what they did/didn't do to survive as scared, isolated and traumatized little girls -and dammit, they shouldn't either! But more on this later .... 

 Now, I don't like what they made Sansa say about Arya "should be on her knees thanking her" -it's not that she isn't right about the part she played in re-taking Winterfell, but THAT was definitely some shitty writing. 

 We flash back to our boys, and Tormund is attempting to bond with the Hound. Aside from being some of the best comic relief this show has delivered in a long time, I'm becoming sweet on Tormund x Brienne. Stop me! I love Brienne x Jamie too much! I'm trash! Someone just wheel me out to the alley and light my ass on fire! 

We got a nice little callback to Ygritte and naturally Sansa too -because "Gingers are beautiful, they're kissed by fire". More on this later, too ..... 

 We switch over to Beric and Jon first discussing how much Jon apparently doesn't resemble Ned (sure Jan) and then the creepy religion (again, burning children is bad, guys -I'm with Varys on this religion). Jon doesn't serve the Lord of Light, he serves ONLY the North. They do seem to agree on one thing: they are protectors, and Jon recites some of his Nights Watch vows: "I am the shield that guards the realms of men." More on this later .... (Are you guys picking up a theme here yet? Let's see if you figure it out before I get to the end of this post). 😉 

 After the Hound points them towards the mountain he saw in his vision, we go to Dragonstone where Dany decides to compliment Tyrion by insulting him? lol What she likes about him is that he's not a hero -heroes are stupid with their constant pissing contests (she's not wrong) -except I'm not sure I'd consider Daario or Drogo heroes? Tyrion points out that all these brave men have fallen for her -including Jon Snow, because apparently unbeknownst to US the actual viewers, he's been oogling her ....?? Daenerys denies it, but you can tell by her body language that this pleases her. But -"he's too little for her" ???? What does that even mean? 

Honestly, I can't figure out my Little Lion this season and it's kind of pissing me off. Is he cracked out on Dragon love too? Or is he being clever and playing the game? Varys did say he needed to find a way to make her listen. Does Tyrion think Jon can influence her? And where the hell is Varys, by the way? 

Dany brings up the upcoming meeting and her impulsive temper comes up -and the Tarlys (expect them to come up again in the near future too, guys). Tyrion warns her about ruling with fear and then the convo shifts to the subject of Dany's mortality and her line of succession. Dany jumps into serious angry paranoia mode (Targ trait) and flings accusations of Tyrion's loyalty at him again. Look -I fully understand that this is a touchy (and rightly so) subject for Dany, but I don't think he's in the wrong here -the line of succession is important to any monarch, and especially one that intends to ride into battle. But ...not today Tyrion, not today. 

We jump back over the wall, and now the boys are traipsing through blizzard-like conditions. Is it still the same day? Has night fallen, or is it just dark due to the snow storm? Ugh, this episode is leaving me with more questions than answers! They spot, and are spotted by an undead bear, and a few redshirt Wildlings are taken out. Thoros and Beric light the sonofabitch on fire, Tormund whacks it with his battle axe -I mean, this damn thing takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin', and ends up with Thoros in its mouth, before Jorah takes it out with a dagger (assuming it was dragon glass?). A chug of alcohol and a cauterizing of the wound, and he's miraculously up on his feet and ready to continue. 

On a side note: poor precious hound and his fire PTSD. 😔 Cant wait for Clegane bowl -hope it ends with fire and Sandor conquering his fear while exacting his revenge. 

And now we're back in Winterfell, and a distressed Sansa is confiding in Little Finger. If ya'll didn't pick up that she was sniffing him out, then I just can't help you. Sansa doesn't trust him. I strongly suspect she knows that letter turned up because of him. I'm 99% confident she was jugging him for info .... 

Sansa is nervous about the letter, though -rightly so, because if the lords see it, they may withdraw their support -BUT she isn't worried for herself, she's worried for Jon and keeping his army (amassed to 20k now -when did that happen? Go Sansa!) -so wake up and suck a fat one, Sansa haters! Don't you guys get it yet?!?! Sansa is loyal to Jon -shit, even Little Finger gets it. Why do you think he's so bent on sewing discourse between the sisters, now? Because all his attempts to drive a wedge between Jon and Sansa have failed! 

We return to the winter wonderland, and now it's Jorah/Thoros bonding time. I'm sorry that I don't care enough to repeat their exchange -it wasn't exactly riveting, and I pretty much knew that it was his "death knell". Anyone else getting whiplash from all this back and forth? 

Upon their climb, they hear the clinking of an undead scouting party. Interesting .... they send scouting parties ahead? The NK and his Generals are pretty smart. Which caused something to pop into my head: are Gilly's brothers the NK's Generals? But back to the action ... they start a fire to lure them in and ambush them. Jon kills the General and all but one of the wights fall. Aside from the convenience of all but the one they need falling, this is also interesting. If they take out the generals who raised them, the wights will automatically fall -so if the NK is taken out, then his entire army would perish! Hmmm ... 

So, my dudes tackle Bones and he lets out an ear piercing screech, which apparently alerts the others (hmmm -they communicate, too?). With an avalanche of the undead rolling down upon them at high speeds, they collectively shit their pants while hogtying Bones, and Jon orders Gendry to run for Eastwatch and get a Raven to Dany, declaring that he's "the fastest". Well, this is all well and good, but please explain to me just exactly HOW Jon knows this? Because I didn't know Gendry was fast ...did you? And not only do they send this poor kid who's never even seen snow before, off into the arctic wilds by his lonesome, entrusting his supposed internal GPS (I guess???), but they take his freaking weapon so he has no means to defend himself, to boot! 

And off he goes, while Jon and the crew race for shelter and find themselves standing over the weak ice of a frozen pond/lake. With no other place to go but forward, they take their chances and make for the rock in the middle, as the dead close in on them and after grabbing a few more redshirt Wildlings, the wights break the weakened ice and begin falling into icy water, creating a barrier and a trap for our boys. Winded, but alive, they freeze their tushes off, as night falls and an exhausted Gendry collapses before the gate of Eastwatch. Daddy Davos comes to cradle on of his fostered sons as Gendry breathlessly pleas to send a Raven. 

It's morning on the rock, and our dudes have snuggled to keep warm overnight. The Hound rouses from his comfy Jon Snow pillow to kick the grumbling Bones, who's probably just salty that he didn't get invited to the slumber party. Sandor gives him a good morning kick in the ribs, and when Bones squeals in displeasure, so do some of the wights surrounding them. Another clue of their links? 

Unfortunately, Thoros hasn't made it through the night. They burn his body and Beric says the creepy Lord of Light's prayer. I hope someone had the good sense to take his flaming sword first, but I doubt it, because while I love my boys -they aren't exactly clever ...they did go on a wight hunt, after all. 🙄 

Jorah and Jon discuss the connection and Jorah suggests trying to take out the WW's as their best chance of survival. Jon says no, they need to take that thing (Bones) back with them and a Raven is on its way to Dany -she's their only chance. I suppose she has the same magic GPS as Gendry. 😳 Beric joins them and counters that argument with just taking out the NK -he turned them all after all ...kill him and they all fall. 

Now, Jon puzzles me here. His reply to Beric's suggestion is: "You don't understand." 

What Jon? What don't we understand, baby?? Tell us!!!! Is Jon suddenly afraid of his own mortality? I don't think so, but then -what don't we understand?????? 

*screaming internally* 

Beric counters with how the lord brought them both back and maybe this is why. I'm not sure what Jon's thinking while his chest heaves and he eye fucks the NK -but .... perhaps he really is afraid? Maybe of failing and being forced to rise and fight on the NK's side? Suggestions are welcome here .... really. 

We jump back to Winterfell and Sansa has received an invite to KL. So, who sent this invite? Sansa refuses to go -and is certainly justified considering .... She intends to send Brienne in her stead, but Brienne is uncomfortable leaving Sansa unprotected because of Little Finger. She requests to at least leave Podrick behind, but Sansa denies her request, and after trying several times to politely put her off, she finally rudely dismisses her. Now, I have no doubt that Sansa is truly frightened to go to KL because of Cersei, but I also think that she specifically chose Brienne to represent her -not only because she trusts her to represent her interests, but also because of what Little Finger implied earlier -about Brienne intervening with Arya if necessary. I'd like to think that Sansa is not only protecting her little sister, but also Brienne's honor of having to side with one of the sisters should things get ugly. (They won't, trust me). 

We flip over to Dragonstone and Tyrion tries to convince Dany not to run off to the rescue, but (thankfully), she doesn't listen. She mounts Drogon and off to the rescue her and her lizard babies go! 

We're back at the boulder now, and an apparently bored Sandor is throwing rocks at the "cunt" wights. Not that I blame him, but we all knew where this was going, right? The ice has re-frozen and slowly, the dead advance on them again. This shit was really unbelievable, tbh. With the sheer amount of wights surrounding them, they should have been swarmed, but somehow manage to keep most of them at bay. Jon yells "fall back" (to where????) as Tormund gets grabbed and, oh my heart!!!! I swear I had a mini stroke! But thankfully, Sandor grabs him just in time (he knows he fucking LOVES fire kissed Gingers, okay?)!

And just when it seems that all is lost, Dany and lizard puppies arrive to fuck shit up!! Okay, despite their destruction to actual human life a few weeks ago -this was beautiful and visually very satisfying! This is what the dragons are for! They take out a good chunk of the NK's army -which is WHY I assume he targets the dragon still flying overhead and raining down hellfire on his army, rather than Drogon who was chilling while they all saddled up. I mean, it's just a guess, but it's truly the ONLY logical explanation I could come up with. 😐 

Dany reaches immediately for Jon, but a wight charges, and Jon turns to dispatch it, as well as a few of its comrades while the others climb atop Drogon. You know, Jon being the hero he was accused of earlier in the episode? The NK marches forward and takes aim at Viserion -who is still fucking up his army (as I mentioned above, and why I think he may have targeted him), as Jon continues to blindly fight the wights instead of climbing his dumbass on the fucking dragon! Why? So it can be HIS fault for what happens next, of course! 

I legit cried when Viserion died. I'm a grown-ass woman, and I don't give a shit! It was heartbreaking, to watch him plummet from the sky and crash into the lake, his eye drifting closed as he slipped below the ice ... and personally, I think Dany's facial expression nailed it: gut wrenching shock. As a mother, my heart broke for her, even though I know that the dragons future demise is necessary. 

An angry Jon charges right towards the NK for a standoff, as if he took Beric's words to heart and was prepared to sacrifice himself right then and there to kill the NK and save the whole damn world! But the NK doesn't want to scrap -instead, he reaches for another ice spear, and Jon seeing that he intends to take out another dragon, screams for them to go. 

He turns to sprint for Drogon (I guess? Because Drogon had already begun to take off?) but he's tackled by wights and dragged into the icy water. The group hauls ass into the air as an ice spear whizzes towards them, but Drogon avoids it and almost sends Jorah to an early grave. Dany glances back for any sight of Jon as Drogon flies them to safety. 

After the dragons fly off, the NK and his army nonchalantly shuffle on as if nothing happened. We get a shot of Longclaw by the ice hole and suddenly Jon lunges out of the water and uses its hilt to drag himself out of the icy lake. Soaked and frozen and probably figuring this is the end, he raises his sword to go out fighting and uncle Benjen drops in to save the day! He hauls a popsicle Jon onto his undead? horse and tells him to ride for the pass, declining Jon's offer to come with him and telling him "there's no time". Now -I've seen this part criticized, and I get it, I do -except what is Benjen supposed to do? He can't pass the wall -he's dead too. Guess he figured it best to go out fighting then endless undead loneliness. Maybe he figured he had no more dumbass nephews to save from beyond the wall anymore? Whatever the case, it was sad to see yet another Stark perish -even if he was technically already dead. 

We're back at Eastwatch now, and the Hound is dumping Bones in a dingy, as Beric says farewell and they'll meet again. The Hound says he fucking hopes not, but I don't think he means it. 😉 Atop the wall, Dany gazes forlornly at the landscape below, as Jorah tells her it's time to go (and calls her "Your Grace", and not Khaleesi? Since when?). As she turns to leave, the horn blows and Benjen's horse comes into view (and where have I seen this scene before?) only this time, WITH a rider. Hey -how the fuck did he get his horse back, anyway?

The Targ ship unfurls its sails, and we're in Jon's cabin as Davos literally peels the frozen furs from his trembling body, and sweet mary mother of God, Kit's abs! 😍 As Jon freezes to death, I'm just praying that Davos continues with his disrobing of Jon (and the camera follows), but nope ... 😔 Dany watches from the doorway with a mixture of worry, awe and since she's only human, probably lust (I feel you girl, I really do). On a serious note: she's privy to all those horrid scars that were never stitched and are still literal almost gaping gashes in his chest -and one directly over his heart. I bet Davos' words are ringing in her ears again. 

After that gratuitous abs scene, we head back to Winterfell, where Sansa is snooping through Arya's room -probably looking for the letter. Instead, she stumbles onto Arya's face collection. WTF! Naturally, Arya catches her snooping, and begins to terrify Sansa, and myself collectively, with some creepy dialogue that rings as an ominous threat -except, well ... let's break this down a bit. She is sharing some of her past. She wants to play the Game of Faces, but Sansa is not having any of this shit.

I'm pretty sure that Arya drops a MAJOR foreshadowing bomb here: "We both wanted to be other people when we were younger. You wanted to be a queen, sitting next to a handsome king on the iron throne and I wanted to be a knight riding off to battle." 

Okay, back to the terrifying conversation... Arya: "With the faces, I can become someone else, live in their skin, speak in their voice. I can even become you ..."

*she picks up the catspaw dagger and steps closer to Sansa* 

 (With the dagger in her hand): "I wonder what it would feel like, wearing those pretty dresses, to be the Lady of Winterfell. All I'd need to find out is your face."

 *she flips the dagger and hands it to Sansa HILT first* 

 When Sansa takes the dagger, Arya casually turns and leaves the room.

ARYA WAS PLAYING THE GAME OF FACES. Yes, it's shitty, and she gave her sister a mini stroke, but here's the thing: I believe they are BOTH playing Little Finger separately -to protect one another AND Jon, they just don't realize that the other is doing it yet. I'm fully confident that either Bran is going to sit our Starklings down, or they're going to figure it out on their own. And speaking of Bran, where the hell is he? Is he off with Varys? WTH?! 

Okay, and we're finally at the scene that y'all were dreading .... Jon's eyes drift open to a teary-eyed Dany who's relieved to see him wake. Immediately, he apologizes for her loss. She shakes her head and lowers it to hide her tears (probably trying not to make him feel worse), and Jon reaches for her hand. He tells her he wishes he could take it back and that they'd never gone. Dany shakes her head again and disengages her hand. She disagrees -she needed to see to understand. 

She tells him that the dragons are her children -the only children she'll ever have, and asks him if he understands what she's trying to convey. Jon shakes his head yes, as Dany vehemently professes her support in helping Jon defeat the NK. 

Now, I received an ask earlier last week when this episode leaked, about whether I thought Dany was doing this only for vengeance -and certainly, that does factor into her decision, I'm sure. And I don't fault her one fucking bit, tbh. I'm a mother -if you hurt my kids, I'm coming straight for you -why do you think the term "mama grizzly" was coined? But, on the other hand -she's now seen this horrific undead army, and what they are capable of. As someone who freed slaves, it only makes sense that she'd want to help make sure that humanity is not enslaved by the NK and the dead. This is WHY Dany is here, you guys. Not to be queen. Not to be Jon's wife. But to help save humanity with her fire-made flesh dragons, and die in a very messianic way -as such has been the arc they built her character upon. 

Jon immediately thanks her, and calls her Dany. She's taken aback -and explains that no one has called her that in a very long time. She brings up Viserys and in a roundabout way, says he was a dick, as to which Jon replies: "alright, not Dany. How about my queen? I'd bend the knee, but ..." he nods his head towards his injured state, as Dany asks about the people who've sworn allegiance to him (because she suddenly cares about that now?) and Jon says (and like I TOLD YOU ALL LAST WEEK when I watched this leaked scene, how very important and almost foreboding his words are): "They'll come to see you for what you are." 

WHAT YOU ARE. Not who you are. Not how caring you are. Not anything other than ambiguously WEIRD: what you are!!! 

Dany is still touched by this seemingly heartfelt declaration, and with more tears welling in her eyes, grasps his hand and proclaims that she hopes she deserves it, and Jon reassures her that she does. After some silent eye contact, she pulls her hand free from his grasp and tells him to get some rest. 

He obliges and closes his eyes, and then when she leaves the room, his eyes reopen and he looks -guilty? As he releases what sounds like an exasperated sigh. 

And finally, we end the night with the dead dragging Viserion from the icy depths with some heavy duty chains, and the NK reanimates him. Okay, I just have to say how fucking stupid that is. Where did these massive chains come from? Why didn't he just raise his arms and raise Viserion like he did the Wildlings at Hardhome? It would have been a lot cooler if he came lunging out of the water all blue eyed, rather than be dragged up with chains. Ugh whatever! 

Okay, so for a penultimate episode, I'm not majorly impressed, but I didn't hate it.

So, some things we need to go back and touch on (as noted throughout). Have you all figured out where I was going with it? Yes? No? 

Okay - SO MANY CALLBACKS TO THE NIGHTS WATCH HERE, GUYS! 

We got Ygritte callbacks with "Gingers are kissed by fire". We got the Jon/Beric convo which was kind of reminiscent of Half Hand/Jon's convo when they were with the Wildling's as prisoners, and Jon even recited a piece of his Nights Watch vows! We've got Tormund bringing up Mance, and his refusal to kneel AND we've got an almost replicated scene (horn blowing and all) of Uncle Benjen's horse riding for the gate of the wall, only this time, WITH a rider! 

What does that remind me of? Well, a previously duplicitous undercover Jon infiltrating the Wildlings -using them to achieve his goal of getting back to Castle Black alive, to warn the Watch of the impending attack and to do his duty -hold the Wall against the Wildlings. How did he do that? By deceiving Ygritte -despite his feelings. 

Now, I'm not saying I'm right, and it's just a theory -but I truly do believe that Jon is playing Dany. BUT, I also truly believe that he does like her, and that he does really believe she has a good heart. She did just lose one of her children to save him and the crew ...  Jon's odd and ambiguous words: "They'll see you for what you are" is for our benefit -a clue to know where the story is headed. However, I do think that the fact that he actually admires and cares for her (cares, NOT loves) is making him feel pretty shitty for what he is/has to do, on top of the guilt he feels for being at fault for Viserion's death. 

It's no coincidence that he couldn't look in her eyes when he offered to bend the knee. It's also very telling that he did so when no one was around to hear/witness this. While Dany has been wearing her obvious heart eyes on her sleeve for a few episodes now, Jon has been pretty guarded, he hasn't shared ANYTHING personal, his expressions have been odd -and blank, mostly (as in this scene, as well) ... this developing "romance" has felt "off". With Dany's attraction being so blatant, I think that Jon easily picked up on her feelings for him, and he's using that -playing on those feelings, to secure an alliance. 

So why is this necessary if Dany already agreed to help him? Truth be told, I feel like Jon just doesn't fully trust her. Good heart or not, she is a stranger, he's seen her temper and how quickly she turned on Tyrion that day -this is Jon being smarter than Father (also brought up several times in the episode -as well as his honor) and Robb -who ironically was also brought up in this episode by way of Sansa's letter! 

Addressing the weirdness of Jon calling Dany, "Dany"? I believe this was to assert a familial tie -in the same episode where her brother was brought up, and ironically, the dragon that died, was named for. They are reminding us they're actually FAMILY (incase we forgot) because of what's going next episode, y'all. They want us to be kind of squicked out when it happens. 

All the mentions of Dany's inability to conceive? Well, for two reasons, really- to hit us (and Jon) over the head with the fact that Dany can't get pregnant, so boatbang can happen, basically -and Mr. "doesn't want to sire a bastard", feels confident to hang up his vow of celibacy if there's no shot of getting Dany pregnant. And also, for all of our tongues to be wagging about "oh no, could their be a magic Targ baby"? like many have been. A red herring for the red herring, anyone? A baby requires a time jump -a time jump cannot happen -the dead are literally KNOCKING on the Wall. If you've got a logical explanation for me -let's have it. And yes, I've heard the shadow baby theory, and while I think it's uber cool, I'm not really onboard with it -who would it kill, as that is their purpose?

Also -the NK and his Generals are impervious to fire -unlike the wights. But -will dragon glass and Valaryian steel kill the NK? I'm starting to doubt that ... 

 And before I sign off on this, I wanted to address one more thing (that I specifically looked for in my re-watch) -the mention I saw floating around here, of the Wolf eyes on Longclaws hilt opening as Jon emerged from the frozen lake -it did look like that, but it was just a shadow-a trick of the light, if you go back and watch it. 😉 

 Thanks for tuning in again. See you next week for my final recap of the season. And FYI: my kiddos start school the next day, so I can't stay up til 2 am recapping -my recap will be posted on Monday, instead. ✌🏻

[fiction-queen-blog]

22 Jumpstreet

Admin: Requested by @jay-motherfricking-venus​ and based on this  Warning : NSFW Pairing: Narusasu

Chapter 1

“Menma, come on. I don’t feel like doing this". exhausted,I tried to pull my arm back from my brother's grip that was trying to drag me in this stupid bar.

“What is  your problem? Come on, we deserve this”

“We don’t deserve anything after getting scolded by captain Uchiha. We fucked up the paperwork on the Dani’s case. What is going to get drunk in a bar -that is most likely filled with a bunch of adolescents-  going to do for us? Except getting us hungover”

“You know how some athletes have wild sex with chicks before a big game?” My brother asked, opening the door of the bar. I narrowed his eyes when his word echoed through my head.

“I don’t think that is the case...Dattebayo” I muttered, but I  ended up following Menma inside the bar.

“I don’t know what your problem is. We meet some people. Tell them we’re detectives. promise to delete any sort of parking ticket they might have acquired. fuck ‘em aaaaaannnnddd~  forget about them.  With empty testicles  we go to work the next day and we will be more focussed”

“Menma, you are fucking stupid. You know that?” I said, but my bro didn’t listen. Instead he wrapped an arm around  me and pulled me closer.

“Look around you...Take a deep breath. Smell that?” He asked. It sounded rhetorical, “Desperate pussies. Waiting for some big Namikaze dick to fuck’em”

I   rolled my eyes  before looking at my brother...But then I cracked a smile. Yes, Menma was a sex-addict , but he made a point. There were a lot  of beautiful people here and it would be a shame if none were to come home with us.

“See those four?” Menma pointed at the booth with two woman.

“The two brunettes?” I asked to confirm.

“And  four double D’s”  Menma grinned as he approached them like some animal going for it’s prey.

“I thought you were into big butts, dattebayo”  I looked at him. I know I'm taught to support my brother, but I wanted those girls to throw their drinks on him to see him flip out. I crossed my fingers when he leaned against  their table and started talking.

Five seconds later. He got invited by them to sit with them. I couldn’t believe it...Were their fuckboy’s detectors broken? Or is that a thing these days?

“That is my bro. Dickhead, why don’t you come here!” Menma said his arm already wrapped around both of them. No, he wasn’t dividing his attention. He was checking them out and see which one he wanted to call dibs on.

“That is not my name” I said walking towards their booth.

“Why don’t you introduce yourself, handsome?“ The one with green eyes winked at me. I gave her kind smile.

“It is Naruto” I said, extending my hand.

“Actually, it is detective Namikaze, or should I say..Detectives”

Menma started his usual story. I sat down, giving the occasional nod to confirm his story.

“Show him your bullet wound, bro” Menma said.  The women gasped.

“Oh, it is not a big deal, dattebayo” I said, pulling my collar down so they could see the scar of the bullet below my collar bone.

“Luckley, that killer is no longer on the street. He will not terrorizing beautiful woman like you two anymore” Menma said. It made them chuckle.

“How about some drinks?” I asked, getting up from the booth. I could use some beer right now.

“Club soda”

“Make that two” The other woman said and I nodded.

“Beer for me, bro” Menma said.

“You get nothing, you drove” I argued.

“One beer!” He got moody and I couldn’t debate with him. I guess I will be the designated driver then.  I walked to the bar, waiting for the bartender to finish the order of a few university students. I wondered if he even bothered to ask for their ID's...Tch..I didn’t want to bother. I am a detective not a beat cop.

I turned my head to other side. I saw a pretty boy, looking down at his glass of whiskey. He seemed lost in thoughts, but damn was he beautiful. He had fair skin with black hair.

I narrowed my eyes.

No, I was wrong. His hair was not black, it had this dark blue tint. It was like...The Nightsky.

He looked at me. I couldn't blame him from thinking I was creepy for staring at him like that. I was about to smile at him or chuckle. Anything so he wouldn’t think I was some stalker, but when his face turned to me, all I could think of is how pretty he was. From his lips, to his nose, and those eyes.

I shook my head. Fuck, I was so out of the game.

“Hey”

I tried giving a kind smile. But, seeing my reflection through the window made me look like the cat from Alice in Wonderland.

The smile  immediately disappeared from my face.

“Hello” he said, he was on to my thought process. I knew it. He chuckled and I felt this electric shock inside me, and this time not from Menma tasing me by accident.

“You drink?” He asked, indicating to his glass.

“Yea, beer most times ” I said “but  I treat myself to some whiskey sometimes. When I have been good  at least”  he looked down at his glass again and smiled.

“I ordered this..But...I hate it” he admitted when he looked at me.  “I don’t want to waste my money. Do you want it?”

“For all I know you roofied it, dattebayo” I sat down on the stool next to his.

“Why would I do that?” He asked.

“Mankind has an dark side. It are those with a pretty face who do the worst things” I said.

“Is that why you accused me of trying to drug you?” He put  his elbow on the table before resting his head on his hand.

“I said those with a pretty face. Those with a gorgeous one are always out to harvest organs and sell them on the black market”

“What is your name?” He asked blunlty.

“Naruto” I answered.

“Naruto, I am lucky to inform you that there have been zero reports of people's organs gotten stolen” He said.

“That is because they don’t live to report that,dattebayo” I said. “But I will take it...If you let me buy you another drink”

“That is kind. However, I just discovered I don’t think alcohol tastes good”

“Just? Never had a drink before?” I pretended to be in shock, “Did you recently turn twenty-one?”  He looked away before turning his head back to me.  “You are not even twenty-one, are you?”

“You are not an officer. I hope”

“No….No,dattebayo” I wasn’t lying...I am detective….Aright, I was lying.

“I am turning twenty-one this Friday. I haven’t had a sip of alcohol before today” he whispered.

“Why the rush? Couldn't you wait a couple of days?” I wondered.

“Because...In my family there is this tradition. Where the father would buy his son the first drink...That drink being whisky. I didn’t want to be that son to.. Spit it out”  He shook his head.  “I am pathetic, aren’t I?”

“You ask an awful lot of question to a stranger”

I sighed and  looked at the bartender who seemed to be cleaning a few glasses no.

“Can I get some blue vodka and….Hnn I forgot” Whatever it was. It is not important anymore. I looked back at the pretty boy.

“What is your name anyway?” I asked him.

“Sasuke” he answered. I extended my hand to him and he shook it.

“Nice meeting you, Sasuke” I said getting the glass of blue vodka before shoving the glass towards him. “I promise I did not roofied it”

“Because handsome guy like you wouldn’t need to”  He checked me out before taking a sip. “It is not bad at all” he commented. I am not sure if he meant the drink or me.

“I know, dattebayo”  I muttered. Not sure what else to say.  “So, Sasuke...Tell  me something about yourself?”  I took a sip of whisky. I bet captain Uchiha would like this kind of whisky.

“I am biology major at the university of Konoha. Almost twenty-one and I enjoy cutting things open for research. I am actually working on my project where I used pig embryo’s to make human cells.”

“That is impressive”  Shit….Now I had to step up my game.

“What about you?”  He asked

“What the fuck, dude.  We have been waiting for the drinks since forever” I got pushed forward thanks to Menma shaking me. I spilled my drink before turning my head to him.

“Fuck off, bro” I hissed, grabbing a napkin to clean it up.

“Oh fuck, you taking the ten and leaving me with two eights?”Menma punched me in my shoulder. I had to shake him off, and fast.

“If you combine them both you get yourself a sixteen” Sasuke said. I'm surprised he tried to get rid of my brother. He might hate him at first sight or...He could sense my distress Either way...I wanted to buy him another drink.

“You are right...I will have a threeway” He wrapped his arm around me, “Naruto, a  threeway!”  He gasped.

“Good for you.  Go, order some drinks. Your chicks might get dehydrated” Sasuke commented, looking away from Menma. My brother whistled. I let my head hang. I hated him sometimes.

“Playing hard to get?” He leaned against the bar table, checking out Sasuke from top to bottom. He clicked his tongue, “You are fine-”

“Let me stop you there….You are only embarrassing yourself” Sasuke said, causing me to laugh.

“Fuck off, Menma. Go ride that tricycle you wanted so bad” I teased.

“Hey, you are smart right?” He asked Sasuke. He wrapped his arm around me again.  “Naruto here is marine biologist”

“Menma!” I hissed pushing his arm off me I didn’t know jack shit about being a marine biologist. ”What the fuck are you doing to me!” I hisse.

“I am making sure you are getting laid at his place. So I have the apartment to myself and two brunettes”

‘You two live together?” Sasuke seemed surprised.

“We are brothers” I answered, “twins”

“What? Can’t see the similarities?” Menma asked.

“Hu, I guess"  Sasuke took a sip of his drink, “I am into blonds. So it seems”

“Burn” I said causing Menma to groan.

“We  both have a huge cock, but I promise you, darling ,I can use mine better” he whispered the last part before leaving.

“I am sorry about that dick”I sighed. “He is a bit...Cocky”

Sasuke laughed at my play of words. It made me smile. He was the right combination of cute and sexy.

“So where were we?” Sasuke leaned in.

“At the part where I called you awesome” I leaned in so he could  kiss me. I had the feeling he was into me.  “Say Sasuke, what bring you here? You seem like such a good boy”

“I am”

I raised an eyebrow.

“Good at school, kind, gentle, follow rules and traditions...You parents raised you well”

“My dad..My mom passed away when I was ten” He said.

“I’m sorry” I meant what I said. I wasn’t expecting this.

“It is alright.  My dad works full-time and is very tired everyday. I felt like I wasn’t supposed to make life more difficult for him. So...I guess I was always the perfect son”

“You ate your vegetables-”

“I cooked” he corrected me.

“You didn’t make a mess-”

“I cleaned the house” he said. I don’t know why, but this somehow turned me on.

“You never smoked or did any drugs?”

He shook his head, confirming what I said.  I sat back in my stool.

“Girls?” I asked.

“Boys…” he mouthed.  I don’t know what sick pervertedness I had..But the neck in the back of my hair were standing up.

Maybe it was just the way talked?  It was hard to pinpoint my attraction at this point.

“Oh did daddy not get angry when he saw boys in your room?”

“No” he said.

“Were you that sneaky?” I asked him.

“No” he repeated his answer, “I....Never dated” he admitted.

“Really?” I didn't believe him. “You are daddy’s little boy….So...What are you doing at a bar this time a day?”

“Because..” he shook his head and tried to surpass a laugh, “I am having a quarter life crisis and I ..”

He leaned closer to me. “ and I just want to be naughty for a night”  he whispered, and  placed his hand on my knee, moving it up my thigh towards my crotch.

“Thuss the drinking?”  I questioned. I felt sort of  excited.

“And talking to strangers..” He whispered, his lips were close to mine.

“Kissing a stranger?” I wasn’t exactly sure what I was asking him, but all I wanted was to kiss him right now. But, I was afraid if I did that he would punch me in the nuts or something.

He didn’t give an answer. In fact, he demonstrated. He leaned in and kissed me on the lips. So, this hottie has never kissed, but he did leave me craving for me.

I leaned in so I could reconnect our lips, but he pressed his index fingers against my lips. I felt his hand on my crotch, causing me to look down.

I had a boner already?  Am I that lewd?

“Wanna go to the restroom?” He whispered.

“How does your place sound?” I suggested.

“Of course, but I live couple of blocks from here” he said.

“So?” I asked.

“I walked here...And I am not sure you want to walk around with this..Hard. Big. Cock in your pants”

“Fuck you are naughty”  I whispered. He stood up from the stool and grabbed my arm.

“I wanna be” He said, pulling me with him. Yes...I was certain that the entire bar knew what we were up to.

Inside the male restroom, he pushed me against the wall. His hands grabbed my collar and he kissed me. He very rough in it too. Speaking of good boys gone bad.

My hands groped his ass and I was not displeased with the package he had behind him. I couldn't wait to see him bend over,cheeks spread and my dick ramming inside of him.

Fuck, I am perverted.

He kissed my jawline,down my neck. He kneeled down, opening my belt before unzipping the zipper of my pants. I stuck my cock through the zipper and I swear his eyes sparkled...Or I was imagining it?

“There is a condom dispenser…”

He wrapped his hand around my cock. I was certain now that I did not imagine those sparkling eyes.

“W-what?” he looked up. His cheeks were  coloured red. I was hoping he wouldn’t chicken out of this right now because I was not going to jerk off in a bathroom stall….Again.

“Condom dispenser-”

“You got something?” He cocked his head. His eyes glued on my dick,

“No” Was it weird to be so  fascinated by the view of  a pretty boy licking his lips while looking at your dick?  “I figured...For you..A goody two shoe..”

He finally looked at me, staring right in my eyes before sticking his tongue out and licking the tip of my erection.

This guy...Fuck.I felt like I was in a porn..A good one too!

I looked at him taking the top in his mouth, moving his tongue over it while sucking. I bit down my lips. This was like a sex-dream I had when I was thirteen. He tried taking more into his mouth, but he was stuck half way. He moved his head back. He did very well for a virgin.

“I thought you never done this before”

I let my hand go through his hair, shoving his bangs away so I could see his lips around my dick. His pretty eyes looked right at me. He removed his mouth, allowing his hand to stroke me.

“I didn’t, but I am a biology major” he said before continuing. I bit down my lip and threw my head back, causing it to bump against the wall. I looked ahead of me.

We were not even in a restroom stall, we were not even in a corner. We were in plain sight for everyone to walk in. Sasuke could be  unaware of it...Should I be moving us to a stall? But I did not have the willpower to stop him. I was enjoying this way too much.

“Fuck , Sasuke-”  my hand grabbed the hair on the back of head. I moved his head so he would not only suck in the front. If I were going to do a one-night stand. I better make sure this virgin learns something from it.  I could heard him make some gagging sounds, but I kept moving his head to take more in. He ended up pulled back, wrapping a hand around his throat. He was panting. I guess he forgot he could breath through his nose. Some shitty biology major…

‘Babe?”

He looked up. Now, I felt guilty, looking in

“Sorry..You are ...Very big” He said, “I guess theory isn’t everything”

How could he be so cute and yet frustrating me so much.

“I wanna do this..” He wrapped his hand around my cock again.  “So don’t let me escape, alright?”

This guy surprised me….No...He shocked me.

“Alright”

I was not going to be  the idiot to complain if he asked me to throat fuck him.

“We should move to a stall. In case somebody has to pee” I suggested.  I guess my senses were getting back to me.

“Nah...Let them watch if they want to” he said. I was so lucky tonight. He put his pretty lips  around my cock again and this time...I was not going to give a fuck about him being new at this or not.

I allowed him to have his way before tightening my grap around his hair before  pushed his head over my cock.  I guess he was a quick student. I moved his head over my cock. I couldn’t close my eyes to enjoy the sensation. I wanted to enjoy the sight too. My dick in this pretty boy’s mouth was incredible. I wished I didn’t leave my phone in the car. I would have recorded it otherwise. I could see the door of the restroom open and I looked down at Sasuke before looking back up at the door.

I saw Menma. He looked surprised before his eyes turned jealous.  I was expecting him to walk away and let me have my moment, but he wanted to stardle Sasuke.

“Hey bro!” He raised his voice, but Sasuke didn’t seem to flinch. Either he was blacking out or he was ignoring Menma.

“Fuck off, Menma!” I wasn’t going to have the best sex of my life get ruined  by my jealous brother because he couldn’t have Sasuke.

“So while you get your dick sucked empty by this toilet hoe. I am gonna go home-”

I knew I should show concern about my brother going home alone and not with the brunettes he hoped for. But tonight...The world couldn’t end and I wouldn’t give a fuck.

“Yeah. Go!” I hissed. I could hear a ‘pop’ sound when Sasuke removed his mouth from the head of my dick. He turned his head to Menma. Some of my pre-cum sliding down from the corner of his lip, over his chin.

“Don’t wait up” he said.  I never saw my bro looking so regretful, jealous and hateful at once. He left rather pissed. I ran my hand down Sasuke’s hair,catching his attention again.

“Your brother is kinda annoying” he said. I couldn’t blame him. I lived with that for twenty-eight years now.

“Ignore him and ...Go back to sucking”

He looked up with a smirk and listened.

“Yes, sir” he said before taking my dick back inside his mouth. Now he got the complete hang off it. Such a quick learner.

My moans were currently filling the restroom. I guess that is the exact reason why nobody was coming in. I was feeling my orgasm coming and I had to admit..It had been a while since I got laid. But I felt I did pretty well for somebody who hadn’t actually fucked anyone the last two months.

“Baby, I am going to cum” I thought it was common currently to warn him up front. But he didn’t seem the stop. Didn’t  he hear me?

“Sasuke”

he looked at me. Oh~ he heard me alright. If he didn’t like my cum he could spit it out of his pretty mouth.  The idea of his mouth filled with my cum was actually driving me closer to the edge. I imagined him swallowing it, sucking my the tip to get every last bit of cum.

All the factors combined caused me to have by far greatest orgasm ever gotten from a blowjob.

I looked down. He didn’t move, some cum was dripping on the floor. That's when I realized my hand was still holding him by his hair. Fuck, I didn’t even allow him to back off. I know I'm supposed to let him go and apologize, but….I didn’t wanna.

“Swallow it”  I demanded. I was taking this too far...For all I know he got  scared to back off at this very moment. I saw him gulp down my cum. Much like in my fantasy, he was sucking every last bit  out of me. I let his hair go, stroking over the spot that I had been pulling for a while. He got up, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. There was a short silin the restroom.

Did I make everything awkward with my perverted mind?

“Was it good?” He wrapped his arms around my neck. He seemed fine..Better than fine..He seemed fucking good.

“Very” I said, zipping my pants and putting my belt back on .

“How about we go to my place?” He asked.

“....Are you sure?”  I had to have him confirm it. I didn’t know him too well. It could be sarcasm for all I know.

“Yes, my father isn’t home tonight” he whispered.

“You want me to play daddy for one night?” I asked. He looked at me questionable...Did I say something wrong?

“Depends...Will you punish me for having been naughty?”

I covered his mouth with my hand. So he couldn't turn me on with his words. Damn,I should be marrying this guy.

“Sush~ before my dick hears you. He can be a real...Dick..”  I saw him grin at my joke...Which gave me this satisfied feeling.

read chapter 2

[waterlilyvioletfog]

Game of Thrones Season 7 Episode 5: Eastwatch, A Summary, Warning: Full Spoilers. (You didn’t want to be spoiled? Well sorry, KAREN.)

Me: ... If Jaime doesn’t come back I’ll fucking murder you. 

Bronn: *bursts out of the water* 

Jaime: *bursts out of the water* 

Me: Oh thank god. 

Bronn: wHy ThE fUcK DiD yOu ChArGe A dRaGoN?!?!?!? 

Jaime: Because I’m an idiot sandwich with a metric fuckton of PTSD. 

Bronn: NO MORE CHARGING DRAGONS. You’re NOT allowed to die! That fucking dragon isn’t allowed to kill you! You’re not allowed to kill you! YOU ARE HARRY AND I AM VOLDEMORT AND ONLY I CAN KILL YOU. EVER. 

-Meanwhile, Dany has “KILL THE UNBELIEVERS” still on her to-do list- 

Dany: Yo. Ben D. Knee. 

Lannister Soldiers: *still confused as they recover from severe smoke inhalation* 

Drogon: DID MOMMY STUTTER? BEND THE FUCKING KNEE! 

Lannister Soldiers: *get it now* 

Randyll: I made my bed, I’ll lie in it until I die. 

Dany: Fair warning, I will munch on your bones. 

Tyrion: *seriously concerned* Well, I guess you could join the Night’s Watch! 

Randyll: Did I fucking stutter bitch? DANY NOT MY QUEEN 2K17! 

Dickon: No wait! I’m a good son! 

Tyrion: We’ve already exterminated the Freys and the Tyrells this season, we don’t need to kill the Tarlys, too! You’re even more inconsequential! Bend The Knee like a good boy! 

Dickon: DID I FUCKING STUTTER BITCH? I’M A GOOD SOOOOOOONNNNNN. 

Tyrion: I hate you so much. 

Dany: *murders Dickon and Ranyll via Drogon, though admittedly she looks very sad and disappointed in them while doing it, so wtf are Tyrion and Varys worried about? Jeez. Jon Snow wields a sword. Gendry Waters wields a war hammer. Dany wields her dragons. Fact. What, did you think she was gonna pull out Longclaw and use it on them? Nah bitch. Nah.* 

-Meanwhile, in King’s Landing- 

Jaime: We’re fucked. 

Cersei: WE HAVE GOLD THO! 

Jaime: WE’RE FUCKED. THIS GIRL HAS DRAGONS. 

Cersei: Well, Dany won’t just let us go. Tyrion might try and get a redemption arc for murdering Joffrey and dad, but- 

Jaime: Olenna Tyrell told me that she murdered Joff, not Tyrion. 

Cersei: ... Tyrion ... did ... not ... kill ... Joffrey? DOES NOT COMPUTE. 

Jaime: It computes, darling. It computes. 

Jaime: Also, WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE. 

Cersei: THEN I’LL GO DOWN SCREAMING AND FIGHTING BECAUSE I’M CERSEI LANNISTER AND I AM EXTRA. 

-Meanwhile, there is ever more fresh hot goss at Dragonstone High- 

Jon: *brooding on the edge of a cliff, cape flapping in the wind, looking sexier as a sad-faced zombie than most people do in their entire lives* 

Drogon: HAI. MOMMY SAYS THAT YOU’RE MY NEW DAD. WE SHOULD PROBABLY HAVE SOME FATHER-SON BONDING TIME.

Jon: *pats Drogon’s head softly and probably offers to take him to a Mets game* 

Drogon: *purring* *thinking* *oh hai targaryen, you can pet me, it’s okay*

Dany: I am both bewildered and extremely aroused.  

Dany: WELL, you passed the kids test. 

Dany: Also, are you a zombie-

Jorah: HAI HONEY I’M HOME, I CAME BACK, DON’T YOU LO- 

Jon: Who the fuck is this bitch? 

Dany: Jorah! *hugs for her sweet bear/ bro friend, who is, btw, like three times her age in the books just as a gentle reminder* 

Jorah: DANY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *hugs his WIFEY, who is, btw, like a third of his age in the books just as another gentle reminder* 

Jon: wHaT tHe FuCk iS hApPeNiNg?!?!?!?!?!? 

-Meanwhile, Bran has to do SOMETHING this episode- 

Bran: *wargs into like a bajillion ravens so we can have some TRULY gorgeous shots this episode* 

Night King: HAAAIIIII BITCHES I’M ON THE WAYYYYY!!!!!! 

Bran: Oh fuck. 

Bran: GUYS WE HAVE A PROBLEM. 

-Meanwhile, we didn’t see Sam last episode so time for Citadel drama!- 

Maesters: *refuse to believe in shit people keep telling them is real which they have no reason to believe is real* 

Sam: UGH! Stupid maesters! LISTEN TO WHAT WE’RE TELLING YOU. 

Maesters: Sam, we’re skeptics, we’re not going to listen, don’t be stupid. 

Sam: I HATE YOU ALL. 

Maesters: Well that seems a tad unreasonable. 

-Meanwhile, there is ever more drama at Dragonstone- 

Tyrion: *trying to rationalize his behavior* 

Varys: Like, I know dragons are her thing and “FIRE AND BLOOD” is also her thing but like I didn’t think she meant it literally. Also, stop trying to rationalize your behavior, it makes you sound stupid.  

Tyrion: Well, at least she’s not as bad as her dad. 

Tyrion: ... So what’s in the raven. 

Varys: It’s a sealed scroll for the KitN. 

Tyrion: ... And? 

Varys: Fair point. It says the world’s going to end. 

Jon: MY SIBLINGS ARE ALIVE, YES. Also we’re all gonna die. 

Jon: *turns to Dany* Bitch, I’m going home. 

Dany: BUT YOU DON’T HAVE ENOUGH MEN! *internally screaming STAY STAY STAY* 

Jon: So give me some. 

Dany: Can’t do that. Cersei. 

Tyrion: Well, if we were to prove it to her she’d come north. We capture a wight, we can bring it south and show it to her. I can talk to Jaime, he can talk to Cersei, and boom! We have our proof. Davos can row me into KL. We just need someone to deal with the wildlings and acquire a wight.

Jorah: I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE. *screaming internally KHAAAALLLLLEEEESSSSIIIIIIII* 

Jon: *protective older brother instincts flair* *cockblocking instincts flair* The wildlings will never listen to you I WILL GO YES. 

Dany: YOU CAN’T GO, I’M HOLDING YOU HOSTAGE. *STAY STAY STAY*

Jon: Fuck you, I’m a king. *gives another inspiring speech about trusting strangers that makes Dany look REALLY small actually* I’M GOING.  

Dany: I hate you. But like, I also love you. 

-Meanwhile, in Winterfell, the showrunners are DICKS-  

Lords: WHERE IS JON. JON’S NOT HERE. CLEARLY WE WERE WRONG ABOUT ELECTING HIM AS LEADER. YOU SHOULD BE LEADER. 

Sansa: NERP. JON’S KING. DAT’S DA WAY IT IS. IN THIS HOUSE WE RESPECT JON SNOW. (except she said it politely and in such a way that contextless Arya and anti-Sansas can bitch about her plotting) 

Sansa: I did warn Jon. *sighs*

Arya: Those sons of bitches, plotting against Jon! We should cut off their heads! Not sit and listen politely! 

Sansa: Watching this show for six seasons has taught me one thing: beheading people who give you support because they dissented is a REALLY FUCKING BAD IDEA. Being polite to everyone means that nobody hates you and you don’t get red-wedding-ed. 

Arya: AHAH! I KNEW IT! You’re plotting against Jon, too! 

Sansa: Oh for Christ’s sake. Just go away and let me nurse my chamomile tea as I do actual work to help defend the North. 

-Meanwhile we have a quick trip to KL before we can go on our wight hunt- 

Jaime: *being a reasonable general* 

Bronn: Nope. You have too much family drama for any of that right now. 

Tyrion: Hi Jaime. Long time no see. 

Bronn: ... gonna step slowly away now... 

Jaime: You killed Dad. I hate you. 

Tyrion: That’s reasonable. But we do need to talk. Dany’s gonna win the war and you know it. 

Jaime: Cersei will never kneel. 

Tyrion: She doesn’t need to. We can have an armistice [you who don’t know what that is, it’s a cease-fire. It means I don’t like you and you don’t like me but we’re not allowed to fight because of reasons.] as long as she listens to us and doesn’t murder Jon.

Gendry: *exactly where we met him. huh. would’ve thought he was still rowing* 

Davos: Hi. 

Gendry: HAI DAVOS. YOU’RE HERE FOR A REASON. SIGN ME THE FUCK UP. 

Davos: But it’s dangerous- 

Gendry: I’VE BEEN GONE FOR FOUR SEASONS. I’M READY. I AM SOOO DONE WITH KING’S LANDING YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW. I HATE THE LANNISTERS. THEY KILLED DAD. [that’s kinda ooc of you to gaf gendry but ok] THEY TRIED TO KILL ME. 

Davos: Fine. Grab a sword. 

Gendry: Bitch, do I look like a fancy-ass knight to you? I’m a blacksmith, and a Baratheon. I’m using a goddamn hammer. 

Davos: *sighs* Kids these days. So fucking EXTRA. 

Davos: Okay, but don’t tell anyone Robert Baratheon was your dad. 

Trouble: *proceeds to appear in the form of gold cloaks, but Davos pays them off to shut up and then Tyrion turns up so Gendry smashes their brains in and we’re all just like “damn Gendry.”* 

Qyburn and Cersei: *plotting* 

Jaime: Hi. I just talked to Tyrion. 

Cersei: ...okay? 

Jaime: Dany wants an armistice. Because zombies are on the way. And apparently soon they’ll have proof for us. 

Cersei: Huh. Didn’t expect the conversation to be that but okay. 

Jaime: ??? 

Cersei: Oh sweetie. I know everything.  

Jaime: ?!?!?! 

Cersei: I want to talk to her. It’s in our immediate interest to have her leave us alone. But in the meantime, you should know that Imma kill everything in our way. Because I’M PREGNANT, Y’ALL!!! 

Jaime: ... am I the father? 

Cersei: Yup! AND we won’t hide it. 

Jaime: That’s a stupid idea. 

Cersei: DADDY TOLD US TO IGNORE THE BULLIES AND CRUSH OUR ENEMIES TO DUST 

Jaime: Fair point. *hugs Cersei* 

Cersei: *smiles and hugs back* Oh and don’t ever betray me again. 

Jaime: *thinking* *oh that’s riiiight, I fucked a crazy person* 

-Meanwhile, as always, there is drama on Dragonstone- 

Davos: DON’T TELL ANYONE THAT ROBERT BARATHEON WAS YOUR DAD. YOUR NAME IS CLOVIS.YOU’RE A SMITH. YOU’RE JUST HERE TO BE POLITE UNTIL YOU GO BE THE SMITH IN WINTERFELL. 

Gendry: Got it. 

Gendry: HAI JON SNOW. I’M GENDRY WATERZ AND I’M BOBBY B’S ILLEGITIMATE KID AND I’M HERE TO HELP YOU FUCK SHIT UP IN THE FAR NORTH. OUR DADS WERE BROS. WE CAN BE BROS TOO. 

Jon: ... You know how to wield a sword? 

Gendry: Nah. I wield a hammer. And I’m a badass. 

Jon: ... okay. 

Davos: Nobody mind me. All I’ve ever done is be the best person in existence and outlive literally everyone. Like, dude, I’m by far the oldest dude on this show. 

Tyrion: Bye Jorah. I missed you. Not even Grey Worm can glower quite as well as you. Though Jon Snow has you beat in the brooding sadface category. 

Dany: Good bye. 

Jorah: Bye Dany. *kisses her hand and walks away because he sees Jon and knows he has to prove something* 

Jon: Well. At least you won’t have to deal with me anymore if I die. 

Dany: Pls don’t die. I want your babies. 

Jon: ... okay. I’m still not your boyfriend though. *gives the trademarked goodbye which certified badasses give to people they respect* 

-Meanwhile we need to reveal important exposition- 

Gilly: *dithering on about boring ass shit* 

Sam: *annoyed at her dithering on and also at the maesters and also at everything ever in the entire world* 

Gilly: Oh, what does “annulment” mean? 

Sam: It means a divorce. 

Gilly: Huh. Says here that some Prince “Ragger” was given a divorce by the dude who wrote this book so that he could marry someone else in a secret ceremony in Dorne- 

Sam: *EXPLODES IN RAGE at Gilly because he’s annoyed even though she didn’t do anything wrong* THAT’S IT. WE’RE LEAVING. THE MAESTERS ARE TOO STUPID TO BE AROUND. 

Gilly: ... Okay? 

Sam: *steals some extra books* *grabs Gilly* *grabs little Sam* *steals a horse I think????* *leaves because he’s BORED* 

Gilly: You’re not gonna fulfill your life-long dream? 

Sam: NOPE. 

Gilly: Well that’s sad, but we’ll go with it. 

-Meanwhile Arya vs. Littlefinger is on- 

Arya and Littlefinger: *attempt to out-sneak one another* 

Littlefinger: *OUT-SNEAKS ARYA?!?!* 

Me: wtf I hate everyone and everything, stop it. 

-Meanwhile, we have a new location! EASTWATCH-BY-THE-SEA- 

Tormund: We’re fucked. 

Jon: Indeed. 

Thoros, Beric, and Sandor: HAI can we all go on this suicide mission together? 

Suicide Squad: *establish that they all’ve got beef with each other* 

Jon: Well screw that. We’re all alive, which means that we’re all in this together. 

Suicide Squad: *walk out into the snow together, looking so fucking badass and I’m so excited!!!!!!*

[youremyonlyhope]

Hardhome

Didn’t realize Jon’s sword is also Valyrian. “Into your service? My Grace, we’ve only just met. It’s too soon to know if you deserve my service.” Tyrion shut up. Yeah… sorry Cersei… but I don’t feel that sorry for you. This whole Arya becoming a Faceless man thing is honestly the most interesting part of this season to me. “Cut away piece after piece until there was no Theon left.” “…Good.” Oh Sansa that’s a little harsh. “If it weren’t for you, I’d still have a family.” Ok from your point of view with you knowledge of the situation, yes ok. I get why you’re harsh. Yay! Sansa has some hope for once! “You’re going to advise me” *takes glass* “while you can still speak in complete sentences” My girl Dany is harsh but I love it. People keep saying everything’s been happening for years… yet Sansa was 14 just last season… and was still 14 maybe 13 in the first episode… so how many years? …Ok… Tormund just killed the King of the Bones with his own staff… Wow. Good on Tormund and Jon. I have a bad feeling something’s gonna go wrong in the transport of the Wildlings. Called it. So is this an actual storm or White Walkers? Oh yay. Walkers. This now a zombie movie. No. Don’t you dare let Edd die. He’s the last of Jon and Sam’s friends. HE DEFENDED MY BABY SAM. DON’T LET HIM DIE. Everyone scrambling to the boats… this is beyond intense. If this is when Jon dies I will riot. I will kill someone. BABY WHY MUST YOU BE ON THE LITERAL FRONT LINES. STABBING THEM ON THE FENCE. NO. I like Karsi too. If she dies, I’ll be so mad. “You and me then!” Now the Thenn dude comes around. Where are the mammoths when we need them!!?!?!?! This giant’s stomping on wights, get a mammoth in here to help him!!… Oh. My god. I just thought of a zombie mammoth… I want to see that now but also I don’t ever want to see that. OH HELL NO IT’S PUTTING OUT FIRE BY STANDING NEXT TO IT. NOPE. NO THE THENN DUDE. NO MY BABY’S SWORD. I. DON’T. LIKE. THE. MUFFLED. SOUND. EFFECT. I DON’T LIKE IT. IT MAKES ME SCARED FOR MY BABY. WHAT. VALYRIAN STEEL!?!??!!? CAN’T BE SHATTERED!?!?!??!!?!??!?!?! HUH?!?!?!?!?!

….VALYRIAN STEEL CAN SHATTER WHITE WALKERS?!?!??!?!!

Ugh the stupid king was watching. OH GOD THE CHILDREN. THAT’S TERRIFYING. THEY KILLED HER. EDDARD!!!! YOU’RE ALIVE! “OH FUUUUCCCKK” UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE CENTURY, ED. The three of them running with a giant behind them is epic BUT ALSO PLEASE SURVIVE. God… Jon and Tormund got to this Wildling village just in time… saving half is better than none… oh god… I’ve seen this image of the Night King raising his arms slowly… I don’t like it… what does it mean…

…

See. I’d been wondering what the process of reanimation was… and my question is answered… and I wish it wasn’t… UGH.

OH KARSI. MY GIRL. NO.

…

That’s a lot of dead people…

That was intense. Like. Super intense. And I know that the Battle of Winterfell which aired like 3 days ago is even more intense. And I could barely handle this one… Great…

[toas-tea]

🔥Dany+J0n

incest trash lol.thats putting it shortly.

its a shame the fandom makes me hate them even more wooPS.

ok here’s the thing. dany/jon shmo is the very definition of a golden concept gone wrong. two incredibly influential characters who could have easily created one of the most interesting dynamics on the show. but no.

instead, we got some unnatural and forced BS bro. 🤷

even seemed kinda one-sided because emilia clarke was so much more emotive than kit. i feel bad for him since i know it’s not entirely his fault they didnt give snow boy much to work with at all. but when i read an interview where he mentioned he felt weird kissing his wife’s best friend (weird vibes increased when he found out dany’s his aunt??), that really made me more hyperaware of how i perceived the relationship and kit’s overall acting.i can absolutely see a fraction of his discomfort leak into his acting.

With emilia, it’s a thousand times more natural despite her…thoughts on the relationship. sorry kit. gotta be honest. keep on keeping on. still love you though my dude lmao. i’m not familiar with any of kit’s other work but i do hope some director out there gives him something so he can fully spread his acting wings.

it’s just so fucking wild that they have a fantastic friendship off set, but it doesn’t translate well at all in front of the camera. could be the mutual indifference to their character’s relationship lol idk. 🤷🤷

but other than that, i won’t mention anymore because i dont want this to be longer than it already is. i mean true love is stabbing the other person instead of communicating/compromising with them, right? 🤷

i understand that politically, they make sense. but that’s the bare bones of it.

[youremyonlyhope]

Garden of Bones

The semester has started so I haven’t watched GoT in like 2 weeks. But even though it’s 10pm and I have to be up at 6:45, I’m gonna watch an episode.

Harrenhal! That’s new! And creepy. Quarth... was that there before? Or do I just not pay attention? And no Dothraki? Guess Quarth is where Dany is. The Mountain... I’ve heard of him before... Direwolf! Are there more from beyond the wall? Never mind, it’s Robb’s. I mean, Talisa has a point, Robb has not planned far enough in the future yet. “The boy was lucky you were here.” “He was unlucky that you were.” OOOh... I like her. Joffrey, you have literally held Sansa hostage for months, so obviously she knows nothing about whatever Robb’s doing. Stop taking out your anger on her. Your overcompensating. This Joffrey kid is so stupid that he doesn’t realize that the main reason Robb’s letting Jaime live is because Joffrey has Sansa. Killing Sansa would guarantee Jaime’s death. This kid’s beyond idiotic. Tyrion the voice of reason has arrived to call his nephew a half-wit. Thank you. Did the Hound just rip part of his cloak to cover Sansa?... I’m really starting to love him. “Lady Stark, you may survive us yet.” Yeah she will. I mean, I know from spoilers that she will, but still.  Oh hey it’s my girl Ros! “Could you hit her?” OH god this kid why.

This... kid... is... an... actual... demon. He’s genuinely demented. He’s genuinely evil. Oh my god. OH. MY GOD.

ROS AND DAISY DON’T DESERVE THIS. Renly’s hand shook the tiniest bit as he grabbed that apple... I love Margaery. Is that a statue of a horse? But what’s on its back? Oh wow I just realized that Baelish hasn’t seen his beloved Catelyn since Ned’s death. EXCUSE YOU, BAELISH. HER HUSBAND JUST DIED, ON YOUR WATCH, AND YOU’RE LIKE “OH HEY BUT LOOK FATE WANTS US TOGETHER NOW” LIKE NO. I WOULD HAVE JUST STABBED HIM RIGHT THEN AND THERE INSTEAD OF JUST HOLDING THAT DAGGER IN HIS FACE. NOW IS NOT THE TIME. I’m glad he brought back Ned’s body. Ok but, Ned’s head was on a stake... so did they take it down? Or is it the body without the head? I know it’s been a few months so it’s just bones, but still, I’d figure Joffrey would want to keep the head of the first man he cowardly had executed as a souvenir. The Mountain? Ok wait, I was thinking of someone else as the Mountain... or is the Mountain the character that’s played by like 3 different people over the course of the show? OOooooh. So this girl’s reciting her kill list. I like it. I was wondering why Arya kept reciting their names; it makes sense now. I mean I don’t deny Stannis’ right to the throne, he’s the real heir, but yeah I agree I’d rather Renly be king over him. Just from stepping forward I feel like I’m gonna like Xaro. Correction: I LOVE Xaro. Please don’t let him have some ulterior motive. I swear, this show has made me distrustful of everyone who isn’t Dany, Jon, or Arya. Ok Qarth is magical. I was wondering why there was so much blood in the puddles... the heads on stakes above them are why. NO NOT MY BABY GENDRY. NO. SOMEONE PLEASE SAVE MY BABY. Ok sorry, who is this random old dude who just came in on a white horse and has good timing???? OH WOW IT’S TYWIN I DIDN’T RECOGNIZE TYWIN. I’M STUPID. IGNORE ME. IT’S BEEN 2 WEEKS AND HE’S ONLY BEEN IN LIKE 2 EPISODES SO FAR. AND THERE ARE SO MANY CHARACTERS TO KEEP TRACK OF AND LIKE 75% OF THEM ARE OLD WHITE MEN. See, you KNOW you’re stupid when Tywin Lannister becomes the voice of reason in a situation. “This one’s a girl, you idiot.” OH my god Tywin how did you know and why did you have to say it out loud and please please please tell me you don’t recognize her as Arya. You’ve never met Arya but please don’t recognize her. Please let Tywin treat Arya well and not figure out who she is. At least Tyrion knows his family’s incestuous ways are wrong. “Have you ever thought what King Joffrey would have to say when he finds out you’ve been bedding his mother?” Yeah. It will confirm to him that he’s Jaime’s son since if his mother’s willing to sleep with a cousin she’s probably very willing to sleep with her brother like people have said she has and then hopefully he will do something stupid that ends up getting himself killed. OOoooooh Tyrion is so smart, blackmailing his incestuous cousin. Yes. Can’t say he didn’t hurt a hair on his head. I see what you did there. UMM... THE RED WOMAN’S PREGNANT? UMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM IT’S ONLY BEEN A FEW WEEKS.

UMMMMMMM. UMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. THAT’S A DEMON. THAT’S AN ACTUAL SHADOW DEMON THINGY. SHE’S GIVING BIRTH TO A DEMON. THERE IS A DEMON. COMING OUT OF HER. CRAWLING OUT OF HER. AND NOW IT’S FULLY GROWN. UM WHAT.

Well. That’s a cliffhanger. Debating it’s it worth it to watch another episode and go to bed after midnight and get less than 6 hours of sleep... hmm...

But seriously. We have had very little supernatural/fantastical stuff happening in this show beyond the dragons and the witchdoctor and whatever anti-Christ-thing Dany supposedly gave birth to. And this is a whole new level. What the hell was that thing!?!?!?