#(sorta)

[embervoices]

Oh, I am so bringing popcorn to the Texas Is Now New Mexico war. 🤣

Was drunk and bored and getting annoyed at the ridiculous coverage of the US election so I decided to fix the place.

I'm from Australia where we only have 7 states, as such I have the (objectively correct) opinion that 50 is too many states, so I decided to cut it down to 10.

A few notes on my improved US map:

•Despite Illinois making the cut, Chicago is now in Michigan, due to the state getting the entire bank of its namesake.

•Boston is also in Michigan due to special exception.

•New York is now the capital of Pensylvania

•Yes that's how you spell Pensylvania

•The border of California is just roughly the Rockies, no need to overthink it.

•Making Florida bigger actually dilutes it's power, but Texas must be abolished

•Colorado should still be a rectangle, that's my mistake, I just couldn't be bothered fixing it.

•Alaska has been returned to Canada with a hand written apology

•All the random ass islands that the US forgot to pretend they didn't colonise have gained independence

Please let me know if there are any more improvements you can think of.

Edit: As a number of you have mentioned, Alaska never belonged to Canada, and giving it to them would be incredibly wrong when the native people have been trying to gain independence all this time.

Luckily, the apology note got lost in the mail in all the turmoil, so Canada never realised they're meant to have Alaska now. The Alaskans just start quietly self-governing and hoping the US and Canada don't notice, then after a few years they declare independence.

[luciaintheskyainthi]

At least, for a little while. Holiday is going great! Enjoying the 'summer' I was promised, except it's not summer, it's winter.... It's just that winter in my hometown is a nothing burger. I've also written 12K words and girlbossed so high to the sun I broke the F-key off my bluetooth keyboard 🫠

I've finally installed Tumblr on my tablet so will probably get to asks etc tonight. But in the meantime, I'm DOING A THING for a spin-off fanfic, it's going to be cute (to me) and silly, but I NEED YOUR HELP.

And by help, I mean, I'd like to include YOU in this fic THAT'S RIGHT I'M SIGNING YOU UP TO MY MLM HAHAHA

This is kinda a fic within a fic, and I need usernames! So.... All I need you to do, is! if you'd like to have your username included in this fic, like or leave a comment (I only need about 20-40, so it's a first-in, first-served kinda dealio... This doesn't need to be reblogged!

NOW, I'm going off to the markets on the beach, because that's the kinda life I live now 😎🌴🌅

[hello-my-name-is-your-tv]

ive had this in my head for weeks now i'm pretty sure this has been done before already but i needed to see it for myself

[sanctuary-sonic-au]

Put the Memphis Tennessee in cat eat headphones

Like a true gamer

He won his Fortnite Battle Royal like the alpha gamer he is (He used cheats) lmao.

[goldexxperience]

honestly? abbacchios death was so preventable to the point where it kinda makes me mad. why did they leave him stranded alone and defenceless like that? why wasn’t giorno or mista with him while he was using moody blues’ replay? trish is a stand user and can defend herself so she didn’t need a second person staying with her.

[iseriouslydontknow-13]

This is based upon @madb0nes art of cocoapower. I’m sure most of if not all of my followers have seen their art BUT PLEASE CHECK IT OUT ILL REBLOG THE ART ITS BASED ON AFTER THIS (but here you guys go some NON CANON TO ABOVETALE slice of life)

~~~~

Clover jumped onto their couch, leaping into the left corner without a second thought, paying no mind to how much it slid across the hardwood floor.

Chara had only been inside Clover’s house a few times before, and only ever to grab something they’d left behind. So the fact that they were staying the night now—it was kind of a big deal for both of them. Chara was a little surprised Ceroba had allowed it, though to be fair, they swore Ceroba liked them more than she did Clover.

They took a seat beside Clover on the couch—calmly, they might add—unlike a certain cowboy beside them.

“So, what are we doing again?” Clover held up two controllers, grinning widely like they always did. Chara raised an eyebrow. “I’m not telepathic, Clover—”

“Mario Kart!” they yelled.

Right on cue, the TV chimed out: Mario Kart 8! followed by the theme music Chara had heard more times than they could count.

“Sorry,” Clover said, “I wanted to time it right.”

“You just looked like an idiot,” Chara deadpanned.

Clover only smiled in return and handed them the Player Two controller. Chara tossed it back at them and yanked the Player One controller from Clover’s hands instead.

“Was that really necessary?” Clover sighed, resigned, picking up the Player Two controller.

“Absolutely,” Chara said, smug.

They booted up the game.

The game loaded, the music blaring triumphantly as Clover scrolled through the character selection screen.

“I call Yoshi,” Clover announced, already hovering over the little green dinosaur.

Chara didn’t respond right away, instead slowly navigating to the pink-suited Princess Peach.

“You would,” Clover muttered, snickering.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Chara asked coolly, blinking slowly at Clover, almost daring them to speak. Clover leaned forward slightly, the two touching noses as they grinned at them. Chara pushed their face away from their own, scoffing as they did so.

“Nothing, nothing,” Clover said innocently, though their grin betrayed them. “Just, y’know, Peach. Royalty. Just seemed... fitting.”

“Mm.” Chara leaned back against the couch. “And you’re Yoshi, because you’re slightly annoying, and mostly communicate through sound effects?”

Clover gasped, clutching their chest. “That was uncalled for. Yoshi’s iconic.”

“Exactly.”

The countdown began—3… 2… 1…

The screen split in two, both karts shooting forward on the track.

“You know,” Clover said as they bumped into Chara’s kart, “I go easy on people who are new to the game.”

“I’m not new,” Chara replied, eyes locked on the screen. “You just assumed that because I don’t broadcast everything I’m good at.”

Clover let out a dramatic scoff. “Okay, calm down, Peach. We’re on Rainbow Road, not the battlefield.”

But the conversation dropped off fast. Chara was quiet, hyper-focused, drifting through tight turns with unnatural precision. Clover, meanwhile, kept veering slightly off the edges, overcorrecting, slamming into banana peels that—suspiciously—seemed to appear only in their path.

“Okay. Okay. That one was personal,” Clover grumbled, after slipping on yet another banana.

“How do you have so many!?”

Chara didn’t answer. They were already two laps ahead.

“Are you even blinking?” Clover asked, wide-eyed. “I feel like you haven’t blinked in the past five minutes.”

“Maybe if you weren’t staring at me so much, you’d be winning,” Chara said simply. They heard Clover grumble beside them.

By the final lap, Chara had not only lapped Clover, but done so twice, all while collecting every possible power-up, drifting perfectly through every curve, and somehow avoiding every obstacle as if the game itself favored them. Every time Clover was even close to actually succeeding at anything, Chara would ensure that they’d somehow stop them. They were impressed by the cowboys restraint at not throwing the remote at the T.V.

When the victory fanfare played, Chara didn’t even flinch. They just set the controller down on their lap, staring at the screen like they’d just folded a napkin.

Clover blinked in disbelief. “You’re a menace.”

Chara looked over at them calmly. “You challenged me.”

“I didn’t know I was challenging a Mario Kart warlock!” Clover groaned, letting their head fall back dramatically onto the cushions. “That wasn’t a friendly game. That was an execution.”

Chara smirked. “You talked too much during the countdown. That was your downfall.”

Clover slowly sat up and pointed an accusing finger. “How are ya so good at this?!” Clover yelled out, their expression pained.

Chara shrugged. “You just suck, lucky.”

Clover flushed at the nickname, glaring back at Chara. Chara grinned widely, straightening their posture.

“So round two?”

Clover stared at them for a moment, before glaring back at the T.V.

“Bring it, buttercup.”

[watcheraurora]

New King's Tide one-shot for anybody missing that universe!

*NON-CANON* Alternate Sequence

[starteas]

hey starteas! i've been looking thru the Puzzles and WPNZ tags for quite some time recently and I really love your work!! i love gunshow...ough...puzzles in wpnz’s arms like a princess…….hhh….

also your storyboards with puzzles and wpnz are SO CUTE and capture SO MUCH EEEEE and also the writing for the show has been really juicy lately!

i was just curious whether you had sources of inspiration for writing puzzles and wpnz! 

like do you get ideas from the gunshow art you reblog, or gunshow fics that you read? (not sure if you read fics alot, i was just spitballing bc idk if it’s a coincidence that ur recent headcanon post reminded me of a certain gunshow ao3 fic i read heh 🧩)

or like any inspiration in general? Like from other fandoms or books or shows or media etc.!!

Hehe can’t wait to see what happens next in the puzzles wpnz arc! (˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶)

Hahahaha thank you, thank you so much! That really means a lot, I’m so glad that we were able to make Puzzles’ and WPNZ’ friendship feel so raw and real all in the span of an 43 minute movie.

Honestly, I think the biggest inspiration I’ve had when writing Puzzles and WPNZ would be from my partner. We’ve been (unofficially) writing Puzzles and WPNZ together in our own AU close to a year now, even before they met in canon.

So lot of it I pulled inspiration from what me and my partner had discussed regarding their dynamic, how they speak with one another, their body language, and SO much more— so when it came to writing the arc lead up and the movie, it all kind of ended up flowing together naturally! Doing the boards was an added bonus; I really loved getting to show their dynamic in ways (again, body language, expressions, gestures) most wouldn’t even think twice about.

Which is to say I basically hyper-analyzed these guys as a fan up until we started writing things for real— and it turns out it helped a lot more than I thought, haha!

[lovelyblep]

No shame in using the safeword (quitting a fic that doesnt do it)

[esoterictboy]

I just think it’s super hot when people are bent over naked like, face down ass up showing everything. Like they’re just so fucking horny they don’t even wanna know what comes next it’s the perfect position like I could spit in your hole one minute and be breeding you the next and you’re just so desperate for it you don’t even care you’re practically shoving your hole in my face you just drool all over yourself and cum ? It’s fucking slutty.

@/tooesoteric2tboy - now

[ar0acecactus]

Local old man walks around adopting every lesbian kid in the area

[laikabu]

[yourpetbrother]

dad that mounts you like a dog, pressing you into the mattress on your tummy while rutting into your little hole with his fat dadcock and grunting and groaning into your ear. dad who pins you down in a mating press and fucks you like he's feral, biting your shoulder hard. dad who humps your ass like a dog in rut for a solid 3 minutes before finally fucking into you, breeding you deep inside

[nartothelar]

did you want to battle?

[lologoinsolo]

Main Masterlist, Cats and Their Men Masterlist, Part 2

Thinking about Simon with a runt of a kitten and it’s barely the size of his palm. Also thinking about the poor cashier that’s stumbling over her words when that hulking man has a kitten fisted in his palm and he just jerks it forward.

“U-Uh, sir, we can’t— I can’t keep that.” His eyes make you shrivel up and you delicately hold the little kitten in your hands. “We uh— the store can’t hold animals we only sell the stuff that animals need.”

He looks at you like that’s not what he’s wanted to hear. Granted you’ve had a couple people come up to try and surrender or drop of their animals like it’s a pound. “I need things for the cat.” He says and you feel like maybe you shot yourself in the foot.

You have a line piling up behind him but no one seems to dare speak up. Why would they when this guy could lay them flat out? Jesus what are they feeding this guy? Steroids and protein powders? You think before swallowing thickly. “I can… I can get my coworkers to—“

“No.” He reaches forward and you flinch when he picks up the kitten and holds it to his chest. “You’ll help.” Nodding off and he starts to walk leaving you dumbfounded and confused. He walks a couple steps before he turns to you with a ‘well?’ look on his face.

You hurriedly grab your pager and call for someone to go through the line while you help this guy. Leading him down the aisle for the litter and you list off the different types. “There’s crystal litter, wood pellets and those are pretty good when it comes to smell. We have tofu litter and that—“

“Does it need something fancy to shit in?” He cuts off the beginning of your speech with a huff. He sounds a mix of annoyed and amused with how you bristle from his remark. You’re tempted to leave, your manager can bitch later about you doing that butttt the kitten against his chest meows and you find that you can’t leave the little thing to suffer because their dad’s a right prick.

“Sir,” you take a breath, “the litter is moreso about preference. Do you want to hide the smell of their… ya know… poop better? Or would you prefer something that clumps or something that’s easy to clean?” You wait… and wait some more before he finally says.

“Pick one.”

You blink at him and he mimics it that bastard. He just stares the entire time you have this little contest. You’re starting to feel like you should’ve called out of work. You knew today would be horrible, your instincts never lie. “Okay,” taking a deep breath and spitefully picking the most expensive and heaviest litter that your store sells. You yank it off the shelf with a groan. If it’s hard for you to lift then he’ll probably have the time of his life having to lug this home. He doesn’t seem to care about the pricing nor the weight though as he grabs the litter from your struggling arms. He shoves the kitten back to your empty hands. “I—“ you stumble over your words, trying to come up with something but he beats you to it.

“Where’s the food she need?” Lifting it onto his shoulders, the muscles bulging as he holds that thing with ease.

“Well she,“ you cough to keep from ogling too much. “Will need some kitten food and maybe some wet food later on. A good kibble would be good to add later on once she gets older,” holding the kitten up gently and her little green eyes blink at you. You prod softly at her teeth to make sure she can handle those foods. You’re hoping she’s not to young or she’ll need kitten formula. You then check her ears and see some red marks. Noticing the little black specs moving about her neck and you cringe. “And a good flea bath. Poor thing,” petting the little baby as you walk off to grab a flea comb. He’ll have to buy it anyways so you’ll make use of it now. You pick at her fur with the comb and squish whatever fleas that you find, you hate those little fuckers. “What’s her name?”

You’ve noticed he’s as silent as a grave this customer of yours. He’s hardly said a peep besides caveman grunts and nods. If it wasn’t for him nearly against your side then you would’ve thought he ran off. That black surgical mask makes him look like he’s something important. Maybe mafia or something possibly dangerous. But… he did come in holding this tiny kitten and isn’t batting an eye at the things you’ve been telling him he’ll need to get for his new pet. Perhaps he’s nicer than your judgement of him is.

You clear your throat, he probably didn’t hear you since he hasn’t tilted his head down. “Does she have a name?” You ask once more and he pulls to a stop, he had came back with a cart earlier when there were too many things for him to hold in his tree trunk arms. It was comical seeing him try to hold a litter box, scratching post, and various foods though.

He doesn’t answer save for the roll of his shoulders that looks like it could be counted as a shrug. You mouth an ‘oh’ before you mind your business. He probably just found her or he’s gonna foster and send her off. Better to not get attached…

You chatter off the things he’ll need to do. See a vet, get her spayed, make sure she has no health problems, the usual things that you mention to pet parents. The little thing in your hands is a curious thing, she wiggles about constantly. Eager to move and escape your hands and arms. Tiny tail flicking about and the meowing and pawing is cute, makes your heart squeeze when he plucks her from your hands and he holds her close. You push the cart along and stop at the toys and bowl aisle.

“Well,” you pull some toys off the shelf, crinkle toys and mouses that should help with those prey instincts. “She’s a sweetheart. I’d probably call her Bailey,” you smile fondly and his brows furrow at your advice. Grabbing the kitten shaped bowls and hurriedly putting them in the cart when you squirm under his eyes. “Oh uh, my brother always wanted a cat named Bailey. It’s a nice name but if you don’t want to call her—“

“Bailey,” he holds her up a little and the kitten paws at his face. Her little nails snag on the fibers of his mask and he pulls them off quickly. “Better than garbage, yeah?” He speaks to the kitten like a human. There’s a crinkle besides his eyes and you realize he’s smiling but when you catch what he said you drop this cactus scratcher you thought he should buy her by accident.

“Garbage?” You look aghast. You’ve heard all kinds of names but never something like that. Quickly picking the cactus scratcher back up and placing it in the piling up cart. “You’d call her that?”

He shrugs his massive shoulders again. “S’where I found ‘er.” Grumbling his reasoning. He glares at the kitten like she’s the cause of his problems. “Couldn’t sleep with’er howling and rummaging about. Made a mess that I had to clean.”

You blink a bit and now it makes some sense why he’s so… snappy? “Well… maybe she knew you’d get her if she was loud enough.”

He scoffs, “she bit and hissed at me.” He rubs his finger over her head and you notice the little red marks on his hands. “Feisty little shit shoulda left ya out in the cold.” She nips at him and he chuckles something deep.

You can’t help the smile that reaches your face. She plays with his fingers and he doesn’t flinch when she bites hard or digs her nails in. He just looks down at her with something akin to wonder and begrudged responsibility.

You pull him to your cash register and his kitten racks up a pretty hefty bill but he pays for it with wads of cash. You don’t speak on the weird crumbled bills nor the faint reddish brown color. You simply bag his items and put them in his cart. “If you need anything, sir. Come find me and I’ll help, okay?” You can’t believe you said it AND actually ment it. What can you say, you love cats more than people and that little thing won your heart as easily as she won his.

He gives a gruff nod and pushes his cart out with on hand. The kitten is pushed into his coat pocket to hide her most likely from the cold outside. She pokes her head out to give a complaint but he just gently pushes her back in. He leaves without waving and you’re left to wonder if he’ll come back. You kinda hope he does come back.