#(tho I did get a duplicate of her at hard pity)

[haysaca]

Happy new update everyone. Hope you all get blessed with good luck in pulling for Anjo Nala like me who got her with the free 10 pulls given (technically got her in 2 pulls according to the records).

[troubleshipping]

Long list of various Team Rocket headcanons

Recently I had a really nice talk with @masterstarpikachu about Rocketshipping/general Team Rocket stuff, and some of the headcanons that were brought up are just too good not to be shared with the world so I have compiled them into a big post

Warning: Some small nsfw elements at the very beginning of this, please beware if you don’t like that kinda thing! Nothing explicit but like the evil word s*x is mentioned once so shield yo eyes kiddos

Contents of this post include:

- Controversy about the see-through level of Pokéballs - Meowth and the Pokémon shittalking humans behind their backs - Meowth and Jessie tease James about literally everything - Meowth is a supportive friend in the most asshole-y way possible - Jessie actually being nice for once - Food - Hot take but Jessebelle is a yandere - Jessie almost dies but it's okay because the ship happens

Actual list under the cut because this good content here got long

- Starting topic that triggered this entire conversation: - Jessie and James are about to get intimate, but just in that moment - *Pokéball release sound* “WOOOOBBUFFET” - So that raised an important question: - How much exactly are Pokémon able to see out of their Pokéballs? - Because most of the time when they’re called out mid-battle they immediately charge in without hesitating, so it seems like they know what’s been going on - Larvitar was able to see out of its egg shell too which suggests similar things for Pokéballs - Trainers, do not leave your Pokéballs in the same room you do private stuff in

- What if that’s how Meowth finds out Jessie and James are a thing - “Meowth, how did you know? What do you mean Seviper told you?? How did Seviper know???” - “…..oh my god” - Mime Jr was too young to see that - James will never live it down - He’s too ashamed to look his son in the eyes ever again - Probably needs to sit him down to have *the talk* and it’s the most shameful thing he’s ever had to do - Does Mime Jr even understand what he’s saying? Does it care about what humans do? Probably not, but Meowth won’t think it’s necessary to point that out

- I like the idea of Meowth sharing gossip with the other Pokémon in general - He’s barely seen talking to Pokémon, which is honestly a waste if you ask me? It’s like the writers forgot that bilingual people don’t actually forget their mother tongue - Imagine Meowth and the other Pokémon just complaining about the dumb shit the humans do - Besides, let him have some friends he won’t be the third wheel to lmao

- Literally tho, imagine all their Pokémon had seen their masters, ahem.. “blast off” - Poor souls didn’t know Pokéballs were see-through from the inside - Jessie would pretend not to care, she’s above that. There’s no reason at all to be ashamed. But she’d be blushing so hard she wouldn’t fool anyone. - Shit’s awkward no matter how tough you are - James wouldn’t even try to pretend, James would straight up die - RIP James

- On another note - James totally makes those little high pitched squeaky sounds during sex and you cannot change my mind it’s canon - You know exactly what I mean - There’s literally no way he doesn’t - He’s tryna be all sexy and smooth and stuff but then Jessie starts touching him or something and he just SQUEAKS - Secretly she finds it kinda hot in a weird way but she’d never admit it - Pretends it’s a coincidence that she’ll keep trying to get him to make more of those sounds - Meanwhile Meowth outside the door is like “what the actual fuck James” - “Jimmy’s such a weird one” - He’d tease James to no end about it - Meowth embarrassing James about details of stuff he shouldn’t even know about is my new favorite thing - Also Jessie trying to stop him but also holding back laughter because “well he’s not wrong” - “WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON?!” - C’mon she can’t turn down an opportunity to tease him - James is then all embarrassed and lowkey offended and gives her the silent treatment - He refuses to talk to her ever again - Aka for like the next half hour or so - Eventually she’d probably apologize though because even she isn’t THAT mean - At least not when it comes to James - Not always - Maybe - She gets soft around him when nobody’s around to see it - Sometimes - And maybe he’d forgive her if she did those things again...

- Jessie being soft with James is my absolute weakness though - Especially since they’ve been friends for so long and he knows full well that nobody else is allowed to see that side of her ever - It’d definitely make him feel special and loved - Imagine Jessie letting her guard down and being kind to James for no reason other than because she genuinely wants him to be happy - I am weak - Even if it’s just little things - Especially those tbh - Just trying to cheer him up when he’s down instead of simply telling him to get over it - Saving a nice bottlecap she found even though she never understood that hobby of his - Just saving it for him because maybe he’d want it - He’d be so touched - Probably would make his entire week - He’d save that one bottlecap forever - Even if it’s not one of the kind he collects, or a duplicate or sth - It’d be his most prized possession

- Something I really want to happen is them sharing their food properly, because you know that for those two that’d be a HUGE sign of affection - The anime may pretend they share everything equally (they say so in an episode) but honestly 90% of the time they get in literal fights over the last scrap - So one of them happily sharing could even be the first step of them realizing their feelings - Like, maybe James would let Jessie eat his portion - She’d definitely take longer than him to show any signs of affection - And she just - “Why’d you let me have it is something wrong with you?” - “No…it’s just…you seem really hungry” - When he offers her the food, instead of immediately devouring it like she usually would she just - Stops and doubles back - Stares at the food in his hands, then at him, back at the food - “Are you serious?” - In that moment he realized what he’s done and gets all defensive - “Just eat it, Jess!” - “I’m just not that hungry, okay?” (*stomach growling noise*) - Then they are interrupted by Meowth - “What about me? I’m starvin’!” - In the end they just split it in three parts because sharing with them both is a bit less awkward to explain

- Also - In the beginning when they start falling for each other, Meowth would be oblivious by choice - As in he sees the signs but he ignores them because “nahhh no way” - Then when he figures it out he mercilessly teases James about having a crush on Jess every chance he gets - Though he’d do it without her hearing about it, because he isn’t THAT mean to him - But when they actually start dating he realizes he was a FOOL and now he has to deal with that forever - Like - He probably gave James advice out of pity - (James totally confides in him at some point because he just needs to talk to SOMEONE) - But then Jessie went for it and he realizes too late what that means for him - Now he needs to live with the consequences

- Meowth giving James love advice about Jessie though - That sounds like a huge train wreck - I mean he may tease him to no end but they’re still best friends so he’d still try to help when he realizes James is serious - “That dumbass really got it bad huh” - Deep down he does care for his friends after all - He’s like permanently done with James’ shit but he still keeps his secret - Although he can and will use his newly gained knowledge as blackmail whenever he wants something from him - And at the same time half of his “advice” consists of “lol Jessie’s gonna kill you” - “YOU’RE NOT HELPING MEOWTH” - James is already well aware of that - That’s his problem - He’s been faced with the full extent of Jessie’s wrath before - He knows better than to risk getting on her bad side

- On the other hand, it’s canon that when Jessie falls for someone she tends to actually act friendly and kind around them to some degree - Which I’m assuming is an instinctive reaction because she doesn’t want to scare them off - But falling for James would be weird since it’d trigger her instinct to be soft and good but at the same time - “No that’s James wtf” - She’s been treating him full force nasty for years and so far he hasn’t left so there’s really no need - Honestly James tends to get freaked out whenever she’s calm because a nice Jessie is just WRONG - Pure boy got so used to her mean antics he gets worried about her when she’s friendly to him - As a result, before admitting her feelings even to herself, Jessie would instead get MORE mean out of defiance - That darn Tsundere smh - She cares a lot about him but she cannot show weakness her mind won’t allow it - Nope - Fight me, feelings

- Vs Jessebelle, who is a Yandere and should be feared - And should also be decked in the face by Jessie tyvm - Imagine an actual Yandere Jessebelle tho - Nightmare fuel - I mean that whip scene was already terrifying - She broke a fucking dresser with the hit that was aimed at James - I know it was exaggerated cartoon violence but like she almost straight up murdered him - And his parents are okay with that?? - Because he’s too delinquent for her - So he can just die apparently - Now imagine her getting obsessed with him to the point of actively following him around to get him to marry her - And trying to get Jessie out of the way to get him back - Can I just say Horror AU right there - I’m an angst writer don’t test me - I like to take dark stuff and make it WORSE - Picture this - James coming back from a short trip to gather firewood or sth like that, only to find Jessie unconscious and bleeding from a stab wound - :) - Maybe Jessebelle is still standing there and laughing because she finally won - Of course she’ll survive but just BARELY - They’re in the middle of nowhere and James frantically tries to find someone to help her but they’re all alone - I mean after all that blasting off they probably know some basic first aid at least - He could stop the bleeding and then take her to a hospital with the hot air balloon - Cue that good ol’ “refusing to leave her bedside until she wakes up” cliché thing - But also imagine Jessie waking up in the hospital with James asleep next to her - Maybe even subconsciously holding her hand in his sleep - Because he was too worried about her and was probably talking to her before he ended up passing out from exhaustion

[ember373]

Musings after Heartbreak...

July 25, 2020 2:10 pm

I break. And I cry. And I feel sorry for myself. And then...I get up and do what needs done. Eventually, I take a deep breath and sift through the pieces and see what I can do something about and what I just need to set aside for now. Yes, my heart attracts all those jaggy little metal pieces back unto itself to cut me again and again, but there is a bit of wiggle room. I can maybe move this piece a little here, block that one for a bit, smooth the edges on this other one. I am a positive person by nature. So, no matter how far I get knocked down, I pick myself back up and try to figure out how to move forward. A lot of the time it feels like I’m being held down, standing still. But I still try to at least think about ways to move forward for the day I have enough energy to implement them. it’s exhausting, but it’s who I am-what I do.

I don’t like feeling lost. Out of control. Alone. Depressed. It goes against everything I am. It feels wrong. And that’s why it’s been so hard to live in my skin the last how many ever years. This week has been no different. I am both resolved to my situation but, at the same time, I feel like there is something coming. A change. It both excites and terrifies me.

After pouring all that out yesterday, I went about the rest of my night. Watched a few dramas. Shut it all down and sat alone in the dark for a bit to calm my mind. Was about to go to sleep being that it was 1 am when I realized I had to use the restroom. Came back and just felt a stir. I knew I shouldn’t go to sleep at that moment. I should throw some cards to clear my head. Looked at the clock. 1:23. Lol. I guess maybe the Universe had something to tell me...

It was obviously a drawing about me and Dev. Haha. Ok. Maybe not obvious to you, but definitely to me. That was what I had in mind. That was what was causing me the most confusion. I did everything in the dark and I threw with my eyes closed. I didn’t really think about it, I just did it. I think it was to shut my expectations and desires out and let the outcome be pure. Wow. Cards were pretty decisive. He’s non committal so don’t waste your time. You know what you want-don’t settle. You’ve given up control you shouldn’t have. He refuses to see any other perspective but his own-he’ll never get over this. You’re worth standing up for. He’s distrustful of women and he won’t be getting over that with you. The Universe may have given me a gift in him, but it got all messed up and the opportunity has passed. Time to focus on something outside yourself. While I realize that it was my fault everything got messed up, it was Dev’s fault for not being willing to be vulnerable enough to straighten it all out. That’s on him. If he wants to be a stubborn blind ass-that’s on him. I fucked up, but so did he. It is what it is. If I can just stop reacting so much, I’m sure he’ll eventually just fade away. Non attached me seems to get very boring very quickly to people. I think that’s the point tho. Idk. Maybe he’ll always be there. On the fringe. Because he’s too damn scared to confront anything and be vulnerable, but he doesn’t want to completely let go either. Whatever. He can do what he wants. I’m not going to be the strong grrr fuck you bitch I’d really like to be. But I am going to try to just let it be what it is and not worry about it. I have bigger things to worry about, I can’t waste my energy on this anymore. Oh, I’m sure I will, but hopefully it will get less and less. ;)

Today was still feeling unsettled, so I grabbed the cards again. Yes/no questions at first since I was kind of being lackadaisical about it. Ever since Margie mentioned it, I’ve always kept her telling me that there will be another love, a greater love, close to my heart. It’s my tiny hope. So I asked if I already knew this person. Strong No. Would I meet them by the end of this year? Strong possibility. Would I meet them while still married? Strong possibility that I would not. Would the oppressor cheat on me? (I have had a weird feeling that would be the only way this could end in the least destructive way as possible.) Strong possibility. Is he cheating on now? Possibly. I felt like it meant he’s not physically doing it now, but it’s on his mind. Not actively, just...he’s lonely and not getting what he wants from me. He might even be justifying it and trying to convince himself that it would be ok. Then I pulled a card to tell me when I’d meet this person. December. Hmmm... Ok. Time to throw some cards.

I focused on the person. What sign would he be so I would know it was him? What would he be like? Tell me about him... It wasn’t what I wanted, but I think it probably told me what I needed to know. I kind of just finished it, so I’ll process it here. 7 cards. Not a whole lot, but it’s what came out. No swords. I feel like it’s telling me I won’t overthink this, like I do just about everything else. So that’s good. 3 cups, 2 pentacles, 2 wands. Emotion, drive, and senses. No duplicates. Cards almost go in order. 4,6,7,8,9, page, Queen. They weren’t thrown in that order tho. I just noticed it. I didn’t think to look at them in that order until now. I’ll have to think on that.

I’m not happy with what I have right now. I am being offered a lot, the oppressor definitely provides, but I don’t want any of it. I don’t appreciate it. I’m ungrateful. Not that they are things I need to be grateful for, just, they’re not things I want. From him. So I don’t appreciate them like I should. This is affecting me. (Duh) Right now I’m in a situation where I have to depend on someone else and I don’t like that. The takeaway is that I need to use this to realize what a healthy relationship actually looks like and that one person shouldn’t depend so much on the other-there is healthy co dependence. I need to think on that and just give my soul a break right now. I will be swept off my feet, but right now, I need to start feeling more gratitude towards life and focus on the positive. Over these was a card telling me that positive changes will take place in the future, but I need to deal with relationship and love issues that I’ve been avoiding. I need to make the effort to heal all this. To come to terms with it. Need to learn what I need to learn so I don’t get caught up in the past and let it affect my future. Trust my inner voice, but don’t be afraid to ask for help (ugh).

In a separate grouping, things are moving forward and the outcome will be expected. It’s pretty much the logical conclusion. To stop it, which I don’t want to, but if I did it would be chaos. Just let things play out. They will. Over that was a card telling me love will come, it will just be a while longer. Time to focus on self (hmm...they keep telling me that...lol). I’ve experienced the lessons of the previous cards and now it’s time to absorb them and prepare to look for the deeper meanings in life that come after those lessons.

Next, I need to stand up for myself. I’m worth protecting. I may feel like I’m being attacked on all sides (work, love, home, family, etc). But what I need to remember is that a lot of my enemies are of my own making. I’m seeing attacks where there are none. My past hurt and trauma and PTSD have me all sorts of crazy and I’m fighting against EVERYONE, even those that could potentially be good people (sorry Dev...). It’s not the universe against me-it’s life being played out. It sucks that everything is happening at once, but I need to remember that the Universe has my back on this. This is what needs to happen. That stupid guy may be right-I’m close to achieving what I’m meant for, which is love and happiness, I just need to be strong and do what I know I need to. I need to remember that the Universe isn’t inherently positive or negative, it isn’t largely against or for me-it’s all about what I project into it. And right now, it’s saying I’m giving you the opportunity to have everything come together. You’ve been through a lot, put a lot of effort in, don’t stop now. It’s always darkest before the dawn type of thing I guess. I need to start focusing on projecting good into my life. I’m not in a good place and only I can get myself out of it. And that doesn’t happen by dwelling there and feeling sorry for myself. It happens by starting to set good intentions and actively work on manifesting them. (Ha! Don’t I sound new agey now? Lol).

The last card was me. A lonely woman. Someone who makes do with what she has, makes the best of what she can, but feeling like there isn’t that other half of her to share it with. Something is missing. This card also denotes a woman with a profound sadness having come from having moved on from a past relationship. Even when it’s all said and done, I may not be ready to move on yet. I need to take my time and process everything. I may think I’ll be fine because I’ve been disconnected for a very long time, but when you cut that final cord, you feel it. I’ll feel it. And I need to honor that and spend some time with it. Completely feel it and process it before I move on. As much as I wallow in self pity and wonder I did to deserve this, this was meant to happen. It’s helped shape who I am. I need to focus on the gifts it has given me. The light in those positives will help heal the dark wounds I’ve been nursing all these years.

Take Away? Things are coming to an end. I’ve been feeling it. I still don’t know if I can quite wrap my head around them ending this year, I guess we’ll see. I’m not going to do anything to hasten or prevent it. I’ve felt for a long while that the universe had some big lessons for me in this. There was some Kharma I needed to work out. I felt like being stuck where I am I must not be learning them. Or, in order to be rewarded for my knowledge, I would need to hurt someone and go against everything that I am. I think part of my anger at the universe was because I was so mad that I changed myself to accommodate the oppressor. So mad that anyone tries to change who a person innately is. Yet, I felt the Universe was trying to do exactly that. After it showed me that I need to go back to who I was and rediscover myself. Why bring me back only to tell me to do something so antithema to my true being? i don’t think I necessarily put it together until now, but I definitely felt the incongruity. And it wasn’t until just processing everything today that the thought occurred to me that maybe my lesson WASN’T to be strong enought to hurt another. Maybe my lesson was just to be strong enough for myself. To find that courage to stand up and make my voice be heard. it’s exhausting, but it’s exactly what I’ve been doing. Not laying down and taking crap. Voicing my opinion. Standing up for injustices I see. Not getting beaten down. i think that was the lesson all along. To have more confidence in myself and my abilities. All my abilities. I’m a strong woman, I just forgot that for a while. And strength doesn’t mean having the ability to hurt people. It’s the ability to love them despite the hurt. To love them enough to stand up to them and demand they be a better human being. I’m hoping that was the lesson anyway. Lol. Otherwise, I may never learn it. >.<

So...I need to do what I’ve felt I’ve needed to for a while now-get me back to good. Focus on honing my talents. Recognizing exactly what I want in life. Figuring out what my next career move will be. Opening my heart to the universe and allowing these things to happen. Having interests and learning more about them. Strengthening my sight and intuition and trust in myself. I did a reading for a complete stranger and she said it was spot on!! And in light of that, I still don’t trust my abilities. Lol. I need to work on that. I need to work on a lot of things. But I need to take them one at a time and stop being daunted by all that needs to happen. Bit by bit, I’ll get it done. I wish I had all the answers now, but I need to be patient. Stop forcing things. There is another love out there for me, one that will be all I’ve ever dreamed of, and it will come to me when it’s supposed to. Not exactly what I wanted, but what I must have needed. Time to take deep breaths and start the processes that will allow me to move forward. I will take steps back. And sideways. And upwards and downwards. But as long as I keep moving, eventually I’ll get myself in the right direction. Right? The sun in the world is especially beautiful after a storm. When it breaks through dark clouds and lights up all the drops of rain everywhere. You can smell it. Taste it. Feel it. It’s time for my storm to be over. The sun might not be here yet, but I can at least do the work I need to in order to be able to truly enjoy it. Clear my eyes. Free my heart. Let loose my soul. Be open to being the very person I’m meant to be and trust that I absolutely know who that person is. Or, at least, I will. ;)

**Side note. Or end note? Anyway, interestingly enough, I mistook my notes to say the Page of Cups instead of Coins at first and that card signifies soul mates or twin souls. Not sure about that, but it does signify a great love coming a person’s way. It gave me great comfort and I wonder if that happened on purpose. The card might not have been thrown, but maybe the message was still meant to be there. But it shouldn’t be strong enough as to overshadow everything else that was there. So here, take this little tid bit, set it aside, now look at everything else and how it relates to each other WITHOUT this card in the mix. It’s its own thing. If I had the physical card, it would have thrown everything off. Colored it. i do believe they were giving me hope in a way I could understand it. <3