#(though I did get sick for like a month and it's still ongoing and none of my docs know what it is)

[7-andahalf-rats]

doodle to get back in the swing of things. rex be upon ye

[asterroidd]

tempt fortune

↬ Pairing: Levi Ackerman x Reader

↬ Word count: 4.5k

↬ Warning/s: swearing, mentions of sex, alcohol, slight NSFW (?)

↬ Synopsis: Too deep in an argument with Hange in attempts to prove you are—in fact—not a virgin, you’ve accidentally lied blurted out that you and Levi are in a relationship.

↬ Notes: Tysm for the request anon! I had way too much fun with this prompt lol.

↬ Minors do not interact. Go away, shoo shoo!

8th prompt:  “I can’t believe you told them you were my fiancé.”

   The night was murky and dark with only the shine of the moon serving as a way to illuminate the streets of the city. Trees stripped bare as a sign of the forthcoming change of seasons, and a milky white fog had encompassed the city’s canals and dark alleyways. The crisp, cold air makes the hair on your skin stood up and shiver despite the layers of clothing you wore.

    Though, that feeling will dissipate away as soon as the bitter taste of alcohol hits your taste buds and enter your system.

    Earlier that day, Hange and Petra had invited you to a night out to the local pub to wash away the fears and tension of being soldiers of the Survey Corps. A guilty pleasure of some sort, just a way to rid the jitters of being eaten by a titan outside the walls. Despite the three of you being veterans, neither of you could ever shake the feeling of death’s cold hands resting on top of your shoulder.

    That said, two of your best friends walked alongside you. Arms hooked with one another for warmth and for comfort. Soon enough, the three of you arrived at the destined place: the pub.

    There are a couple of tables already taken, but the place is not too full. Even with that, the pub is still quite energetic; with men hollering and throwing their heads back as they chat with one another, weak threats that are carelessly thrown around by drunk individuals looking for a mock fight, and of course the iconic clink of glasses against one another as toast.

    “What are we drinking tonight?” Petra asked. She claimed a seat at an empty table, in which you and Hanji followed suit.

    “Whiskey!” Hange announced to which brought a grin on your face.

    "Getting wasted, I see.“ You shrugged your jacket off and placed it neatly by your side. "Isn’t it Petra’s turn to treat us?”

    The female in question instantly whipped her head to face you, a shocked look evident on her face. “I don’t recall making such promises.”

    "You sure did!“ Hanji added. "We made a bet weeks ago. Debating whether or not Erwin grooms his eyebrows every morning.”

    "In which we won, by the way.“ you said with a smug look on your face. "The commander does indeed groom it and even has a special comb for it.”

     “Not fair!” Petra pouted, pushing her bottom lip out and giving Hange the puppy dog eyes in attempts to save her poor wallet. Which was futile, the brunette stuck her tongue out and shook her head. While Petra and Hange continued with their debacle, you took it upon yourself to call the attention of a barmaid. She gave you a beaming smile, her golden locks neatly tied into a bun and crow’s feet visible beneath her eyes. She approached the table wherein the three of you are situated.

   “Two bottles of whiskey and three mugs please,” you spoke, not even bothering to wait for her to speak up. She nodded before strolling towards the counter to prepare your order.

   Petra slumped her weight onto the table as she heaved a sigh in defeat. “Fine. It’s my treat tonight.”

   You and Hange cheered in delight, successfully evading a huge loss of money given that whiskey is quite expensive. The continuous catastrophic storms that beleaguered the farmlands had made an extensive disastrous effect on the supply of barley and wheat. Which, like a domino effect, limits the supply of whiskey within the walls. Increasing the price of the said beverage more than two-fold.

   It was a good thing that you put faith in your instincts and thus won the bet.

   “How’s the research going, Hanji?” Petra changed the topic.

   The brunette let out a drained sigh, “Levi had to kill Hughes.”

   “Hughes?” You piped in. “The eight-meter class aberrant titan we caught last time?”

   Hange nodded, “He was a good man. An honest man.” She spoke of the titan as if it was her long lost husband that died in a war.

   Then, she started blabbering on and on about the experiments she had done to the beast; piercing its eye to count the regeneration time, plucking one of its teeth out to see if it would disintegrate, and many more.

   You would’ve stopped her then and there if it weren’t for the barmaid approaching your table with a tray of glass and two bottles of whiskey. You internally cheered, Hange had told stories about Hughes a couple of times already that you basically had memorized it all.

  The three of you wasted no time in popping one of the bottles and pouring the bitter liquid into the cups.

  "To friendship. And condolences to Petra’s wallet.“ You raised your glass up to which the two mirrored. With one satisfying clink of the glass, you swallowed down its contents in one gulp. Your face contorting in an unattractive expression as the alcohol slid down your throat.

   "I was planning to buy a book that I wanted. But it looks like it would have to wait for the time being,” Petra said, pouring another glass of whiskey.

  "Pshh,“ your brunette friend snorted. "You have Oluo to buy anything you want.”

    Instantly, blood rushed to Petra’s face upon hearing the male’s name.

    You joined in the teasing. “Oh yeah. You two are a thing. Now, aren’t you?” 

   “We’re not!” your friend slammed her fists on the wooden table. “We’re just friends!”

   “Oh really?” Hange swished the whiskey around the glass. “That’s not what I heard the other night.”

   She leaned in close to whisper. “I heard moans coming out of his room.”

   Petra sucked in a breath in shock, her eyes widening in shock and mouth slightly agape. “I- it’s not…it’s–” she said but she was a stuttering mess.

   “Already in that stage, I see.” You playfully nudged her. It was an ongoing comical joke in the base that Oluo and Petra are in a romantic relationship after the male flat out publicly confessed to her one night in the mess hall. The room immediately erupted in a mess as howls and catcalls are heard. Ever since then, both of them are continuously teased.

    “Say, (____)…” Hange trailed off, her fingers curling around the shot glass. Gulping the remaining liquid down her throat before continuing, “Are you a virgin?”

    You let out an inhumane sound in shock. Borderline choking as you tried to swallow down the whiskey caught in your throat. Petra saw your discomfort in which she assisted you by lightly patting you on the back as you coughed air out.

   “What kind of question is that?” you said after your body stopped jerking.

   Hanji gave you a lop-sided smile. “Just that we are nearing our thirties. Who knows when we’ll breathe our final breath? The least we could do is experience getting laid before that happens.”

   “Well, are you a virgin?” You answered with a question.

   Hange rests her chin on top of her open palm. “Nope, though it was a one night stand.”

   You sweat buckets, you never had someone popped your cherry before, let alone a serious relationship that is romantic.

   Are you the only one left that hasn’t got laid?

   But it’s not your fault! You were just too caught up with military services that love never crossed your mind

   Or did it?

   Your mind wanders off to daydream about the small and petty crush you have with a certain captain.

    There is just something so captivating about the way his silver eyes met yours the first time you saw him. How his raven hair looks neat every time and you could only guess how soft it would be to touch. Not to mention his impeccable skill with the 3dmg maneuver gear and its blades.

   Yes, it was none other than Captain Levi himself. But it was all just a petty crush! A small rosebud of admiration that had blossomed as you fought alongside the male and got to know him better each passing day.

    “Well?” Hange snapped you out of your thoughts. “Have you or have you not gotten laid?”

    You cleared your throat, you didn’t want to look foolish in front of your friends. Given that the two of them had their own fair share of experience in the topic. They would tease the hell out of you and soon enough, the whole base would do as well.

   Lieutenant (____), the virgin soldier. You don’t want things to be that way.

    “O-of course I did,” you puffed your chest out more to elicit fake confidence.

   Petra cooed, “Really? With who?”

   You thought of the closest male in your personal bubble. “Levi!”

   To say that the two were shocked was an understatement. They were both flabbergasted. Never in a million years would they expect that you and Levi had a relationship, let alone sexual intercourse. The two, in fact, never saw him and you close enough that would draw out a romantic vibe. So they are completely blown away and confused at the same time.

   “Bullshit,” Hange said. “Shorty is one lonely man that has no love in his system.”

   “I-is too!” you stuttered out, hand flailing around in panic. “In fact, he is my fiancé.”

   Okay, that might be a stretch.

   Petra slammed her hands against the table to which garnered half of the customers’ attention. “Get out! No way!”

   “Yes way!” You countered. So far so good, now all you had to do is convince them that you and Levi are actually a thing. Which was easier said than done since you would need to bribe or annoy the male enough that he would give in to your pleas.

   Though, Hange is still unimpressed as evident with her pouting lips and furrowed eyebrows. “Prove it then, show us that the shorty and you are actually a thing. I would bet half of my salary this month if you could show us that Levi is capable of love.”

   “Bring it on four-eyes!”

   And so begins the downfall of your life.

    Levi had a sick feeling in his gut; a hunch that for the next few hours, he would have a shitty day. However, he couldn’t say for sure what would cause such disturbance to his day. His gut feelings were never wrong, it was an innate sense that he had ever since he lived in the Underground. So he was sure something would happen, he’d have to be more careful.

    That said, he instantly regretted the way he jinxed himself.

   There you are, standing outside of his office at two in the morning. Your fingers fiddled with the hem of your shirt, constantly shifting your weight from one foot to another as you refuse to make eye contact with Levi. Bashful eyes kept staring down at your feet whilst you find the words to make one coherent sentence.

   “I have something important to discuss with you,” you murmured to which Levi quirked a brow. What did you want now that it couldn’t wait until the sun rose up in the sky?

   The male crossed his arms across his chest, leaning his weight on the doorway. “What is it?”

   “Please pretend to be my lover.”

   Levi blinked, his eyes widening and mouth hanging open slightly. Though, he regained back his usual composure in a split second. He narrowed his eyes at you.

   You want him to do what now? Is this some kind of prank or sick joke that you thought of?

   Taking note of his silence, you decided to explain to him your situation that needs his immediate cooperation and attention.

   “You see…” you sucked in a breath. “I kind of lied to Hange and Petra that I got laid and it was you who actually took my virginity. Hange didn’t believe a word that I said and uhh-… Things got out of hand and I told them I was your fiancé.”

   What?

   Levi sighed through his nose, an exasperated expression on his face. “So this is what it’s all about.”

   “Yes. And now I need you to play along and pretend to be my significant other.”

   The male scrunched his face up in disgust, “I can’t believe you told them you were my fiancé.”

   You fought back a sob, “Please. I beg of you, Levi.”

   “No.” Levi shook his head. “No way. Don’t drag me in your own bullshit.”

   The male was about to close his door but you grabbed him by his sleeve. Clutching on it until your knuckles turned white. You couldn’t just let him shut you out without agreeing to play along. You’d do whatever it takes just to get Levi to pretend to be your lover.

  "I’ll buy you the expensive black tea.“

   His ears twitched, now that piqued Levi’s interest. You smirked as he froze, you knew that he has a soft spot for tea. And tasty, expensive ones at that matter.

    Levi chewed on his bottom lip while he pondered over his next words. The male was supposed to be keeping his hands busy by signing and writing the documents that started to pile high up on top of his desk due to Hanji dumping her workload on him. Levi sighed through his nose, fingers massaging his temple. "How long?”

   “What?” You tilted your head to the side.

   “Tch.” Levi clicked his tongue. “How long do I need to pretend to be your lover?”

   Levi swore that the minute he let go of those words, stars danced in your eyes.

  "We just need to convince the others.“

  "And then?” He asked.

  "And then? What. . ?“

  Levi internally groaned and rolled his eyes. Was it really worth the risk?

  "Are you expecting that we keep the act up?”

  Oh, so that is what he meant by it.

  "Well,“ you rubbed your chin with your fingers in deep thought. "We could stop the acting after a few weeks? We’ll just tell them we’re too busy and shit that we couldn’t maintain the relationship anymore.”

  Levi shrugged. “Sounds good enough to me.”

  You squealed in delight as you threw your arms around his neck, showering him with gratitude and compliments.

   Looks like black tea does the trick.

   The sun already rose from its slumber, showering the lands with its soft rays of light. Levi had a scowl ever-present on his face as soon as he stepped out of his office room. He knew that something was wrong. Something out of place as he sensed the change in the atmosphere of the base that would normally be heavy and tense.

  Still, he persisted on shrugging the thought off and continued with his daily morning routine: which is to quickly brew a cup of tea before the mess hall becomes full with people. Levi walked down the halls, a handful of soldiers are already awake and fully clothed with the Survey Corps uniform. They gave him one brief and firm salute as he passed by them. Though, Levi swore that he could hear them whispering amongst themselves.

  When the male arrived at the mess hall, he was surprised to see most of the superiors—along with his squad—are mingling with one another at a table. His mind screamed danger, telling his body to turn around and hide in the comforts of his office. However, Levi wasn’t going to give up his morning cup of tea just because he felt uneasy.

   He slid inside like a shadow, going unnoticed by most of his friends that was too energetic today for his tastes. They were chatting loudly about miniscule things; the weather, training later on the day, gear inspection that needs to be done, and the like.

   Levi wished that he would be overlooked, that their banter would be noisy enough that he could peacefully grab a cup of tea and run back to his office. Though that wishful thinking of his soon come crashing down when Hange’s cheery voice called out to him.

  “Mornin’ shorty! Come sit here beside us! We already have tea brewed for you!”

  Levi internally groaned, gripping the empty cup in his hands tighter. The brunette just had to have an innate sense in locating where Levi is. Reluctantly, he left the porcelain behind and walked towards the table. You were nowhere to be found, which was a huge relief for him since Levi doesn’t want to see your face first thing in the morning.

  “What’s with the shit-eating grin?” he took a seat beside Erwin.

  “(____) told me something important last night,” Hange wiggled her shoulders.

  He narrowed his eyes at her, “What do you mean?”

  Levi heard Erwin laughing beside him, the blond’s shoulders bouncing up and down. He then placed one palm on top of Levi’s shoulder.

  “Congratulations, Levi! Didn’t knew you were engaged.“

  Hold the fuck up. What?

  Then it dawned on him. He remembered you outside his office in the wee hours of the morning, begging him to play along with your petty bullshit just for the sake of preserving your dignity among your peers.

  Levi couldn’t believe that he would start acting right away. He haven’t had a sip of his morning tea. 

  “Yeah,” he said, eyeing the cup of tea that Eld placed in front of him. Levi doubts that any of them could perfectly brew tea that would meet his standards.

  “What?” Oluo joined in the conversation. “So it’s true then?”

  Levi grumbled, taking a sip of the leaf infused hot liquid. He relished the dark and malty taste of it sliding down his esophagus before responding. “Any problem with that?”

  The male shifted in his seat, “N-no, sir… Just that I am shocked.”

  “We all are,” Erwin chuckled. “We never expected it.”

  “You are a man of a few words, after all.” Petra added. “Still, we are happy for you, captain!”

  Levi stayed silent, if he knew that by accepting your bribery would open Pandora’s box of headache and irritation in his life, then he wouldn’t have agreed to it. Still, he was hopeful that only those close to him are informed of the arrangement. That you wouldn’t go so far as to spread the news around the base. 

  Scratch that. Everyone knew that Levi is your fiancé.

  By the time midday rolled around, Levi was the center of attention much to his displeasure. Of all the years he had served in the military, never did he expect that one small arrangement done at two a.m. would have dire consequences.

  All for the black tea. Levi chanted in his mind. Dealing with this bullshit for a box full of expensive black tea.

  Whispers could be heard, though he paid no attention to it, dead set on finding you to ask what in the ever-loving fuck is going through your brain for letting everyone know.

  Ah, speak of the devil. There you are, by the horses’ stables. Your hands reaching up to caress the nose of your horse, a giggle escaping your lips as its tongue darted out to tickle you.

  “(____),” he called out.

  You whipped your head around to the sound. Then your smile grew wider as you saw it was Levi.

  “Hey!” you replied while wiping your wet hand on a towel. “What’s up?”

  The male groaned, you are too casual about it.

  “Care to explain why does everyone in the base knew that we are engaged?” The word rolled off his tongue like venom. “I thought it was only Hanji and Petra?”

  Your smile wavered down, replaced by a bashful one. “Well uhh-…you see. Hanji kind of started the rumors which quickly spread like wildfire.”

  “So it’s not my fault,” you threw your hands up.

  Levi sighed exasperatedly. He should’ve known that the source would be four eyes. The brunette had caused more trouble than Levi could count within his fingers. He recounted countless times where she knocked on death’s door willingly when Hange placed her head inside a titan’s mouth. Who does that?

   A maniac with a death wish, and that is what Hange is.

  “Never mind that,” you trailed off, motioning the male to come closer. He rolled his eyes before obliging. “I have a plan that could finally get Hange off the radar,” you continued.

  “And that would be?”

  You looked side by side, eyes scanning the surroundings in case someone is eavesdropping. Once you considered the coast was clear, you told Levi the plan. “Hanji would be dropping off a stack of paperwork later this evening.”

  Levi doesn’t already like where this is going.

  “We could pretend to have sex in your office, loud enough for her to hear it. That for sure would convince her.”

  You wanted to do what now?

  “Wait, hold on.” Levi shook his head, slowly trying to digest your words. “You want us to have sex?”

  “We’re not really going to do it!” you slapped his shoulder blades. “Just create some noise and thuds here and there to make it seem like we are doing it.”

  The male internally groaned before hesitantly agreeing with your plan. If it means that this stupid fabrication of a relationship would be done, he’d follow suit.

  You could hear the loud pounding of your heart inside your ribcage as you sat on one of the chairs in Levi’s office. Patiently, waiting for the fated moment where Hange would be knocking on the door. Butterflies flew around in your stomach, you couldn’t believe that Levi would actually cooperate with the stupid plan you had just conjured up at a moment’s notice.

  The thought of him moaning and grunting made your core burn with desire. As much as you want to calm yourself, you couldn’t help but stir up images and scenes in your mind as to how Levi would look like while having sex. You don’t know which was a better view: him on top of you or you riding him.

  Heat rushed to your cheeks at the thought. Why does he have to be so goddamn sexy that you couldn’t resist the man?

  “Oi,” Levi called out to you. Though, his eyes never left the paper in his hands as he scanned it. “Quiet down will you? Your foot tapping against the floor irritates me.”

  Oh, it was a mindless action of yours when you get too nervous. By bouncing your legs up and down, it helps you calm down and ignore the growing pit of anxiety in your stomach. Nonetheless, you mumbled a quick apology to the male then resorted to fumbling with the collars of your uniform.

  Soon enough, you heard the soft humming of Hange outside, her footsteps increasing in sound as she draws near the door. You and Levi looked at each other, it was showtime.

  You abruptly stood up, arms flailing around as you glanced between the male and the door. Wait, what do you need to do again? And why is Levi still sitting in his chair and not doing anything?

  “Levaii!” Hange knocked. “I got more paperwork for you!”

  The doorknob rattled, but you instantly had the metal in your grasp in attempts to keep the female out of the room.

  “Huh…?” you could hear Hange utter. “Levi?”

  In a panicked state, your mind blanked out as words fail to escape your lips. You shot a pleading look to Levi, to which he rose a brow.

  Help me you bitch! You mouthed.

  He shot you a confused look. It’s your plan, do it, the male mouthed back.

  You gulped down your saliva, shaky hands gripping the doorknob tighter as the brunette jostle it. Time seemed to stop as you suddenly remember one hole in the plan. One important thing that you have overlooked that could potentially blow your cover.

  You don’t know how to moan.

   A soft whine emanated from your throat. The things you have to do just to preserve your dignity.

   “DON’T COME IN! WE’RE uh-… WE’RE HAVING SEX!” you shouted on top of your lungs, too distressed to rethink your words all over again. But now it was too late.

  “W-what?” Hange’s voice was muffled by the wooden door.

   “Levi. Moan. Now.” You whispered, practically begging the male for his help.

   “Why do I have to moan?” he stood up and made his way around the desk to approach you.

   “JUST-… Just create one sexual sound! A grunt, a moan, a whine! I don’t care. Just make a sound.”

   Levi shot you an irked expression, his nose crinkling up. It’s not that he doesn’t know how to moan (unlike a certain someone), but because he had the initial thought that you would be moaning and Levi would be just hitting the wooden desk over and over again to elicit sex noises. Still, he felt his heart strings being pulled as he looked at your eyes with tears threatening to fall out of them. Your tearducts filled to the brim with the salty liquid. Levi would be a good guy for once, right? 

    He would surely regret his future actions. Big time.

   With a sigh, the male pulled you along with him to the couch. His hands guiding your hips to sit on top of his lap whilst he smashed his lips with yours. Air got caught in your throat as Levi’s hands roamed around—exploring every inch of your body—while his mouth moved in attempts to get yours to move also. You never expected that he would be pressing his lips against yours in a heated dance—a wet one at that matter. Levi’s tongue kept darting and swiping at your bottom lip, which was an oddly delightful sensation that it makes you want to—

  “Hngghh…”

  Moan.

  Your hands curled up, clutching Levi’s shirt and wrinkling it up in the process. Pleasure clouded your mind as hormones took over your system. Testing the waters, you opened your mouth—just a slight—so that his pink muscle could enter your wet cavern. And heavens above, it was such a blissful experience.

  Levi exhaled into the kiss to which the air slightly ticked your cheeks. He used one hand to bring your head closer to his so that he could taste more of you, while the other started peeling the jacket off of you, going just past your shoulder blades. A quiet moan slipped past your lips once again.

  “Okay, I call bullshit. I am entering,” Hange announced, prying open the doors only to gasp loudly upon seeing the scene before her. “OH. YOU WERE SERIOUS?”

  Levi broke away to glare at the brunette, “Tch. Do you mind? Four eyes?”

   You are in such a daze that you find yourself staring at Levi’s lips. In that brief moment, you already missed the feeling of his mouth against yours. 

   The female blinked, too stunned as she stared at the both of you. One powerless lieutenant, with your first few buttons undone and jacket slipping down, sitting on Levi’s lap. Your lower area flush against the male’s ever-growing erection. Not to mention the bewildered expression that you have with a lewd undertone. Hange swore that she saw a string of saliva between yours and Levi’s lips.

   “Ah yes. I’ll just place these here, no biggie. Hehe.” The brunette let out an awkward laugh, placing the stacks of paper in the corner of the room. “Have fun you two!”

  That said, Hange left the room. Her steps were heavy against the cobblestone floor as she rushed away from the vicinity. A grin on her face as she thought of spreading the news that you and Levi are doing at the moment in his room. Not even minding that she lost the bet with you since you had proved to her that indeed the captain is capable of love. A juicy information such as this is worth half of her salary for the month.

   Levi brought your attention to him by kissing you once again. This time, with more force as he pried your mouth open once again with his tongue alone. It was a slippery battle; one-sided, in fact, considering that you weren’t fighting back. You simply let him wrestle with your tongue, yours and his saliva mixing in the process.

  Damn, you really couldn’t hold your moan in this time.

  “Would you look at that?” Levi pulled away. “You know how to moan, after all.”

  You swore, the tips of his lips curled upwards in a small smirk and there was a dark glint in his eyes.

  “Wh-Wha—” you were a loss for words. “What did you—…What was that?”

  “It’s a kiss, dumbass.”

  “That’s not what I meant! Y-your tongue—”

  He rose a brow at you. “What about it?”

  You sealed your mouth shut, heat rushing to your face in embarrassment. “Just… just don’t do that again.”

  Levi kept a firm grip on your waist as you wriggled. “Shut up, you obviously liked it. You even opened your mouth.”

  “Did not!”

  “Then why did you moaned into the kiss?”

  You suck in a breath, cat catching your tongue.

  “Though so…” he murmured, diving into your neck to pepper it with light kisses. Head too filled with pleasure, you gripped his shirt in your closed fists as you let out one shaky breath. It takes all of your nerves just to swallow that one moan threatening to come out.

  “Hng- Levi. You could stop now, Hange saw us already.”

  He hummed, pulling back slightly to gaze into your eyes. There was a hint of lust hidden within his silver orbs. You gulped, finding yourself wrapped around his fingers.

   “Why won’t we make your lie come true?” Levi sunk his teeth in your neck.

   Guess who is getting laid tonight.

[dramioneasks]

HP FESTS: For The Love of Fests (Part 1)

Love at Second Sight January 2021:

Second Time's the Charm by floorcoaster - T, one-shot - The first time Hermione sees Draco Malfoy again, she's in for a surprise.

Influence by Misdemeanor1331 - G, one-shot - Draco and Hermione bump into each other at Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes. Draco thinks it’s a chance encounter. Hermione knows it’s anything but.

The Love Boat by Seakays - T, one-shot - Hermione Granger and her two best friends are embarking on a week long "Divorced Magicals" Cruise. Hermione took advantage of the Cruise's pre cruise chat room, where she met Scorly1203. After six months of texting, she has agreed to meet him on the first day of the cruise. Could she really find a second chance at love on the Lido Deck?

Second Time Lucky by rennaissance_woman - not rated, one-shot - During a trip to Weasley Wizard Wheezes, what do you do when presented with a second chance?

In Vino Veritas by beautyberry - M, one-shot - "Granger?" he asked disbelievingly. "Malfoy?" she asked, "What are you doing here?" Rated M for mentions of sex.

The Art of Second Chances by Blessedindeed - not rated, one-shot - A chance encounter at the museum brings up unresolved feelings

What Lies Beyond the Light by SlytherinHermione - M, one-shot - The thing about prisons is that it tends to change a you. The person you were when you went in, will not be the person that comes out. Sometimes for the better, oftentimes for the worst. For Draco Malfoy, the scales were tipped when a certain lawyer forced themselves onto his case with the start of one letter. A letter that turned into the type of correspondence where you end up baring your soul to a stranger. A stranger that ends up knowing every little part of you, from the darkest corners, to the sunniest fields - while barely knowing you at all. But then again, Hermione Granger was never really a stranger to begin with.

Silly Love Songs February 2021:

This Beauty By My Side by Amarillis39 - M, one-shot - My entry to the Silly Love Songs Fest. ____ "But as he watched her glide through the crowd, he decided he would take every second she would give him. Worthy or not, he was still a selfish git." ___ It's another stuffy gala at the Ministry and Draco is overcome with conflicting feelings as he watches Hermione in her element.

The Light That You Shine by SlytherinHermione - M, one-shot - Draco was adrift. All around him was an endless, unforgiving ocean, dull and grey in colour.  The waves kept crashing in on him. Back and forth, back and forth. Sometimes he felt like he’d been cursed to remain like a graying tower, alone on the sea. This all changed on a random cold winter day and a bright light. Because what followed the light was as unexplainable as the feeling of calm that suddenly enveloped him. He felt a twinge of something that he couldn’t explain. On the other side of the sidewalk stood Hermione Granger, more beautiful than he could remember, locking eyes with him for a second, as if she herself was caught with him inside of this time bubble filled with light and large, fluffy snowflakes. And with a blink of an eye, she walked the other way, as if this was just another Monday. As if she hadn’t just turned Draco's world up-side down. The tumultuous oceans that surrounded his untethered soul were full of waves, but now of a different kind.

Discord by Lostinthenightrain - T, one-shot - “I’ve seen your darkest, and it doesn’t scare me. You’ve become something so much more.” She placed a gentle kiss on his jaw. “I love you, dark and all.”

Time to Spare by Willowfairy - M, one-shot - Draco gets drunk enough to finally tell Hermione how he really feels, and once he starts talking he finds it impossible to stop.

Sometimes When We Touch by sodamnrad - T, one-shot - What if Hermione and Draco were dating when he took the Dark Mark? Submission for the Silly Loves Songs Mini-Fest One shot | Draco's POV | Sixth Year

To Be With You by Blessedindeed - not rated, one-shot - Her ability to show forgiveness intrigues him. Draco finds he has a soft spot for Hermione.

Masquerade March 2021:

Punch Line by tygermine - E, one-shot - Hermione seems to hide behind multiple masks.Draco wants to remove them all.

A Deadly Dance by MykEsprit - T, one-shot - An unexpected guest arrives at the ball. Dramione.

Ask it of Me by WritingFicariously - T, one-shot - Hermione has always had the ability to chase away demons, the darkness that twists his mind into believing he is not good, never enough. She sees and knows every part of him. But Draco has always kept one thing from her, one secret that he never dared say aloud. Until he did.

A Masquerade of Body and Soul by Annav94 - M, one-shot - She’s here to escape the reality, to break the rules. She is here to break the rules because all rules have only given her, is false hope. She turns her head and her eyes meet his. He’s there for the catch of the night. And while he finds himself smirking, smiling at the unforeseen turn of event, he wonders if truly Hermione Granger is flirting in a room full of witnesses with none other than himself - the infamous Draco Malfoy.

Imbolc by CosmicCthulhu - G, one-shot - Hermione celebrates the beginning of spring for the first time, years after the war. She's not the only one who wants a fresh start.

Suit Up by calico_kitten - M, 2 chapters - Gawain Robards has cooked up a new idea for the Departmental Hallowe'en Ball: comic book hero disguises!

This Mask I Wear by SlytherinHermione  - T, one-shot - This mask I wear feels cool on my skin. I slip it on, and the act is ready to begin.Safety. Protection. Freedom.

Lover of Fiction April 2021:

3 Words, 8 Letters by sodamnrad - T, 2 chapters - “Do you like me?” Draco’s flitty looks, his tart remarks about her feelings for Blaise, the way he’s following her around instead of chasing an eligible witch who isn’t pining over his friend is extremely telling.“Define like.”Her mouth unhinges. No effing way. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”“How do you think I feel?” He glares at her. “I haven’t slept. I feel sick like there’s something in my stomach, fluttering.” He presses a hand against his belly, as if he’s experiencing the sensation at this very moment.“Butterflies?” she deadpans. “No. No, no, no this cannot be happening.”“No one is more surprised or ashamed than I am.” He gestures to himself, lifting his chin tersely.“Draco, you know that I adore all of Earth’s creatures and the metaphors that they inspire,” she says as her hand forms a crushing fist, “but the butterflies have got to be murdered.”---Draco & Hermione: Their Story (2000s TV Drama Style)Dual POV | 2 Shot | Idiots in Love

The Ambition by In_Dreams - M, one-shot - After ten years at sea, Captain Hermione Granger has a ship and a crew of her own. But one of her new crew mates is a blacksmith from her past. Dramione Pirates AU.

Jitters by TheMourningMadam - M, one-shot - This was written for the Lovers of Fiction mini fest for April. Thank you to QuinTalon for being a gracious host in this fest.My prompt was Jamie and Claire Fraser from Outlander. If you have never seen Outlander, why not? You at least need to watch their first time to see some hot and bewildered Jamie. This is a tiny snapshot into what would be a much larger story, so please take it at face value.Also, I finished this story right at the wire, so didn't have time for a beta. All mistakes are obviously my own and I apologize. Bold sentences are word for word from the tv show.

I Meant Something Like That by CharliPetidei - M, WIP - “You know what’s funny?” said Hermione, crossing her ankles and leaning forwards on the slightly peeling leather sofa. “When I first saw your advert online… I thought you were Hufflepuffs.” The three men opposite her exchanged glances, and then the tall, platinum blond one (it had to be dyed, right?) with the funny name leaned forward, narrowing his eyes. Draco, that was it. “You thought we were what?” A New Girl Dramione AU.

The One Where Everyone Finds Out - Dramione Edition by Annav94 - T, WIP - Don’t we all know what happened when Phoebe finds out about Monica and Chandler in season 5 of Friends? Well, what would then happen if it was Draco and Hermione to be discovered by Pansy? Would then Theo try to calm her down, in the hope that she would stop screaming so his boyfriend (Harry bloody Potter, of all people) would be prevented from finding out about them is such crude way? And would Blaise go along with the scheme the two Slytherins would come up with to push the new couple to expose itself or will he be done with all the ‘pretending’ of not knowing, when he knew all along?Stay with me on this journey called: ‘The One Where Everyone Finds Out - Dramione Edition’.

The Dragon's Moving Castle by SlytherinHermione - T, WIP - Hermione Granger had accepted that her life wasn't going to be a great big adventure.She wasn't particularly beautiful, or interesting, and she hadn't been born with magic like her sisters. Really, she was just as plain as could be.One day though, a castle was seen rolling around the hills near her town.Not long after, she met a strange, handsome, and mysterious man.And she was cursed by the Wicked Witch of the Wasteland.Perhaps life was an adventure after all.

Lanky Brunettes with Wicked Jaws by Lostinthenightrain - M, one-shot - “You’ve got types?”“Only you darling.” He put his hand under her chin and brought her around to face him. He pulled her close with his arm held tight against her.  His head to the side of her own, he grinned. “Lanky brunettes with wicked jaws.” A gentle kiss placed against her jaw. She smiled, a blush prettying her cheeks as she pulled back.

Reader, I Married Him by Lostinthenightrain - T, one-shot - “Why must you?” he questioned as he pulled himself forward, using the rough pads of his fingers he gently touched under her chin, dragging her gaze to his own. “You know why!” She wrenched her chin from his grasp. “You are to be married, Malfoy.”

This fest is ongoing.

[shintorikhazumi]

(Diakko week) There’s no way she- (5) ““There’s no way she would ever lose her again.””

A/N: I’m late because. I’m dying in school. Thank you. Dw, I’ll finish the story regardless.

Enjoy?

~Shintori Khazumi

Day 5: Afterlife/Reincarnation

“There’s no way she would ever lose her again.”

[“I will be with you in our next life, and into forever... Diana.”]

“-ness. Your highness, please wake up.”

Akko stirred from her slumber, feeling the silken sheets slip from her shoulders as she was aided into a sitting position.

Yesterday’s meeting must have really worn her out if her body felt this heavy the following morning.

“Ugh- Thank you, Anna. May I have a glass of water?” She requested, holding a hand out in waiting while the other cradled her throbbing head.

“Of course, your excellency.”

Having been handed the drink, Akko took large gulps until she cleared the cup of its contents, handing it back to her attendant. “Thank you.”

“I am glad to be of service.”

Akko continued to massage her throbbing temples, trying to think of all she had to attend to today. It was proving difficult however as she felt strange emotions swirl deep within her. Somehow, she felt as though she had dreamt of something important last night. However, she could not- for the life of her- seem to remember.

“Could you call Finnelan for me?” She moaned through the steadily intensifying pain.

“Right away.”

Akko nodded her gratefulness to Anna who quickly went to fetch the person she needed to see. Not a minute later, Akko’s court adviser had walked into the room, some papers in hand.

“You rang, Empress?”

Kagari Atsuko, empress of the continent of Solis, raised her head to greet her subject, trying her best to put on a presentable face.

“Yes. I apologize for my current state, but I’m feeling a little unwell. I’d like to ask if I had anything important that I needed to accomplish today? Anything that needs immediate regard?”

Finnelan gave her a sympathetic smile, leafing through the papers she had brought with her. “Not that I know of, Empress. You are fairly ahead of schedule for most of your work, and anything scheduled for today can be moved to at least three days later with nothing affecting any ongoing or future work.”

Akko sighed in relief, allowing herself to fall back into her covers. “Thank goodness. Would it be alright if I take the day off? I’m feeling a little unwell.”

Finellan laughed at the question. The young empress sure could be considerate.

“You literally own the entire empire, your Majesty. People’s time revolves around you. I mean this in a positive way. You are allowed to take breaks. No one could ever tell you no.”

Akko laughed along lightly with her, glad that she could take a much deserved rest.

“I will take up the opportunity then.”

“Please do. We can’t have our Empress functioning at any capacity less than her best.”

“Understood~” Akko lazily saluted as her subjects shook their heads in fondness.

“We shall be taking our leave then.” Finnelan said for both of them, taking a bow as she did.

“If you need anything, your majesty, feel free to call for me.” Anna reminded before they both finally left the empress to her own devices.

At the sound of the door clicking shut, Akko sighed, draping her arm across her eyes as she thought of what she should do with her free time now. Clearly, resting was at the top of her priority list, but she knew she wouldn’t be able to just keep still and laze around all day.

She decided she’d nap and grab a bite to eat before doing some exploring- something she hadn’t been able to do lately. The forests to the south of the palace sounded like the ideal place to adventure in today.

With her plan in mind, she laid herself to sleep and succumbed to the temptations of her sheets.

//

Akko felt significantly better once mid-afternoon came around. She had satisfyingly filled her stomach and had acquired her much needed rest. Refreshed, she decided to go for a ride into the southern woods, as planned.

Akko walked through the palace halls, first searching for Anna to let her know she was heading out. With the castle staff aware of her whereabouts, she made her way out the back doors and hiked far enough that she’d be hidden from anyone’s immediate sight.

She scanned her surroundings for any presence or unwanted eyes. Finding none, she sighed in relief, reaching into the pocket of her coat and pulling out a small locket- an oddly shaped one. One that looked uncannily like...

A briefcase.

This odd artifact had been with her since the day she was born, apparently. Her parents hadn’t given it to her, that’s for sure. They just said that one moment she was born, and the next they’d seen her, she already had the necklace laid next to her in her crib. She had never parted with it since then.

It wasn’t something they could explain. Maybe a cleric or a mysterious nurse had gifted it to her, who knew. All Akko knew was that one day, she suddenly had many creatures to call family, and somehow, she knew each one by heart.

Whispering a few words against the locket, and planting a gentle kiss on it, the case grew and she was able to open it.

Biting her lip, she weighed a few options in her mind. Who should she call today...

Ah, of course. If she wanted to brave the woods and look for adventure, who better to call on than-

“Florence.”

Immediately, a gentle glow of light filled her area, and a regal-looking creature emerged, basking in the light for a few moments before nuzzling Akko’s side.

The empress giggled, petting her creature before returning the briefcase to its former state and hanging it around her neck.

“Hello, my friend.”

Without her having to say another word, Florence took her up on his own back before quickly ascending to the heavens and flying quickly across the vast lands, giving Akko a gorgeous bird’s eye view of the landscape.

As they sword above the heights of trees, Akko spotted an open area. She was sure that if she had walked the woods, she’d never spot this peculiar looking shack as it seemed cloaked in some sort of... magic.

Carefully, she had Florence glide about the air before silently landing nearby, but not quite in the area. Her intuition had proved right as she struggled for a few minutes to see what she had found from above. Using her general instinct and memory of where she vaguely assumed that place to be, she eventually stumbled through an odd-feeling magical barrier that allowed her to stumble upon a cottage that looked nothing like what she had seen mid-air.

It looked cozy, quite homely.

Akko looked around, hoping to see any signs of a person as clearly someone resided here- what with the well-kept grass and the lively waving by the window.

She followed the dotted stony path leading to the door, reading the sign left there.

[Apothecary Cavendish is closed. Return tomorrow.]

Akko frowned slightly for two reasons. One beint that that odd name caused her head to throb once more. Was she getting sick again? Maybe not. The other reason Akko felt disheartened was due to the fact that she wouldn’t exactly be having a tomorrow to check this place out as she would have to get back to work. She wasn’t quite sure if she’d have any time this week either. Or this month. Or... ever.

She weighed her options.

She could sneak out of the castle at some point in the future. Or maybe she could quench her curious thirst right now and try opening the door- have a little peek, that’s all. She could say that it was an inspection since she was sure this place wasn’t on the empire’s map, nor was it registered in any city or town hall.

She was simply investigating, yes. Investigating. For the safety of her country and men.

Akko nodded, knowing she hadn’t really convinced herself of anything. Reaching for the knob, she felt her hands sweat and tremble, throat drying. She really was justifying her actions that could very well be a crime. Empress or not, this was really wrong. But... She just had to know... She just had to reach and turn the knob and take one small look and all would be fine. She’d leave without a trace, and no one would kno-

“Who are you.”

Akko felt her body go rigid in fright, slowly turning around to spot a woman with basket of what seemed to be herbs. Had she just returned from collecting them-

“Ugh-”

“Hey! Are you okay?”

Again. It was back again. The pain in her head.

Akko crouched down, cradling her head in her hands with her eyes squeezed shut as the world spun round and round until she hit the ground. She barely heard the panicked yelling of her companion as all went to black.

//

“You’re awake.”

Akko blinked once, twice. Her visage was filled with soft light and wooden framing across a tall roof. Turning to her side she watched the woman she’d met only moments ago squeezing a towel over a basin before gently laying it over her forehead.

“A high fever, and you had the gall to go exploring in these dangerous woods.” She scolded Akko who couldn’t help but stare, not processing anything she’d just said.

Akko didn’t know why, but something spoke familiarity in just about everything this woman had been showing her. Her manner of speech, of action, the way she was currently scolding Akko with a stern and frank voice that still held a gentle warmth to it- everything about her told Akko that couldn’t possibly be the first time they’d met.

At least... not in this lifetime...?

Akko did a double-take at her thought process. This lifetime? What did that mean? Had she ever been one to believe in something like reincarnation and multiple lives? Well, she didn’t necessarily doubt it either. She simply never thought of it until now.

So… what did she think of it now?

“Um, pardon me? Are you alright? Are you still with me?”

Akko realized her mind had wandered so far that she forgot her manners.

“Ah, my apologies. I just...just…” She had looked up to meet the eyes of her savior to show her sincerity, but so quickly got lost in them. Sparkling blue gems that were framed with long lashes above the gentle slope of a tall nose and healthy pink lips distracted her.

Holy shit. This lady was-

“Absolutely stunning.”

Miss Stunning blinked. As did Akko.

“Thank...you…?”

It was only then that Akko came to her senses, immediately rising from the bed, only to smack her head straight into her companion’s nose.

“CR- CRUMPETS AND SHIITAKE MUSHROOMS-… WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!” She groaned, nursing her nose and checking for any possible signs of bleeding.

Fortunately for her, their were none. Unfortunately for Akko she was now rather cross.

Akko reached out to assist her, but the woman promptly created distance between them, not trusting Akko anymore in case of any more surprise attacks.

“Miss, I-”

“Just-! If you’re feeling better, please leave. Please. I beg you.”

Akko really, truly felt terrible for causing her so much trouble that she silently complied. With a bow, she gathered her coat that had been hanging off a dining room chair, wore it and said her farewells.

“I’m sorry to have bothered you. And trespassed.” She apologized, head hung low. “I-if it’s alright…” Still, something deep within her told her she still needed to come back. She needed to know of this woman and the strong pull she seemed to have over her. “May I come back?”

Akko could see the woman’s hesitance in her eyes. She watched her deliberate over the decision, before sighing and agreeing, much too Akko’s surprise.

“Fine. I guess I do need a few more customers. Wouldn’t mind that.” She reluctantly gave Akko a smile… and a piece of paper with a few things written on it.

Akko cocked her head to the side, scrutinizing the item. “What’s this?” She inquired, confused.

She watched the other woman crack a grin, finding it somehow incredibly endearing. “The bill.” She stated factually. “For the services I’ve provided you, good miss.”

Akko’s jaw dropped at the words. She couldn’t even tell if she was being teased or-

“I’m dead serious.” She was told. “My ingredients don’t really grow on tre-… okay, some do. But this forest doesn’t exactly grow me any money. Only resources.”

That drew a fit of laughs from Akko who was incredibly amused by this stranger’s straightforwardness.

“Alright, alright.” She was never really short on money anyway. “I’ll come back with your compensation. That, I promise.”

And she swore she died a little at the smile she received just then. Her brain ceased to function and her feet would no longer move.

“Miss?”

“O-Oh! Sorry, just… uh. Got lost in the moment there. Um…” Awkwardly scratching the back of her head, she bid her farewells. “Well, I’ll see you around um…” Oh. She didn’t quite know the woman’s name.

“Hmm?” Akko was given a questioning look before the apothecary caught on. “Oh, right. We forgot to introduce ourselves to one another. Hello there.”

“H-hello.”

“I go by Cavendish…

Diana Cavendish.”

And at those words it felt like puzzles of a piece Akko didn’t know she was solving, suddenly fit. Sparks connected, and her mind ran miles and miles per hour over memories, thoughts, emotions, and a past Akko now fully remembered.

A past where she had love. A past where she had… Diana Cavendish.

She hadn’t even realized when it was she started crying, but Diana had reacted faster than she did, dabbing Akko’s face with a handkerchief while awkwardly consoling her.

“May I… embrace you?” Akko suddenly blurted out.

Diana, already surprised from Akko’s sudden crying, became all the more shocked. Her being a little weirded out by what Akko had requested was also not something she particularly hid from showing on her face.

“May I... Could I possibly embrace you?” Akko repeated to her, well aware of how odd it was to ask that of someone who clearly thought her to be a stranger.

“I don’t even know who you are, sorry.” Diana eventually admitted, the words breaking Akko’s heart just a bit.

Akko couldn’t remember the last time words had hurt her this much, but Diana not remembering the things they’d been through and Akko knowing the things she knew… it was just a bit much.

Maybe… this wasn’t something that was meant to be. Akko decided to plaster on a smile. Maybe she could try again tomorrow? Would Diana be able to remember her as well? Should Akko just tell her? Would she even believe her?

Akko didn’t have much time to think about it any longer as the sun began to set. It was time for her to leave.

“My apologies.” Akko sighed, giving Diana a respectful bow. “That was rather rude of me, wasn’t it?”

Diana gave her a small, suspicious nod.

“I must be on my way, but… um…” Akko felt her palms sweat and she quickly wiped it off on her garments before holding a hand out. “Let us start over again.” She smiled. She could do this much at least. Right?

Diana took her hand incredibly slowly and carefully. Akko kept up her smile despite all the salt continuously being added to a fresh wound.

“Hello, Miss Diana.” She greeted. “I am a simple noblewoman in this country and I go by the name..,” Maybe if she said her name, Diana would remember just as she had.

Or maybe not and Akko would continue to wallow in sadness for a few days more.

Only one way to find out.

“Kagari Atsuko”

Nothing.

There was nothing.

Diana neither flinched, nor blinked, nor spoke a word.

Akko could now actually hear her heart start to crack, ready to shatter. The universe sure could be cruel sometime-

The sunset sky sure looked lovely from where Akko was laying on the ground, tackled by a Diana who now sobbed heavily into her robe.

“B-by gods, Akko… Akko. Akko.” Diana chanted, over and over and over again. “Akko. Akko. Akko. Atsuko. Kagari Atsuko. My Akko.” She cried into the crook of Akko’s neck, placing kisses along that curve and up to her cheek,

Adjusting herself so that she was comfortably atop Akko, she cupped both the brunette’s cheeks, looking into her eyes as if she were confirming this to not be a dream.

Akko felt her eyes water again, the shock of the sudden attack fading away as it all begun to sink.

That Diana remembered.

That they both did.

As though she had found it, Diana’s face lit up into the biggest smile as she leaned down to plant a kiss on Akko’s lips for as long as she could, like she was afraid Akko would disappear again at any minute.

They both laughed through the tears and the kisses, Akko carefully sitting them up with Diana situated on her lap.

Having run out of air, they parted, Akko immediately grabbing both of Diana’s hands and planted kissed on them,

Diana felt her stomach flutter at the familiar gesture, bringing her hands up to brush the sides of Akko’s face, her bangs and hair, and play with her eats that were warm at the tips.

“I’ve missed you.” Diana whispered.

The floodgates opened once more and Akko cried the most she had in this lifetime.

Cradling Diana close to her chest. Showering her lover with her own affections and completely forgetting about her home, Akko just reveled in the miracle that they had acquired, happy beyong measure.

“I’ve finally found you again.” She told Diana, tightening her arms around her as she felt Diana do the same.

Akko smiled even wider-if it was possible as she continued her statement.

“I love you.” She whispered with Diana whispering it back. “And this time, I’ll never lose you. Ever again.” Akko promised, and Diana nodded, wrapped in euphoria and Akko’s arms.

“Never again.”

A/N: I rushed this already, I’m sorry. ;-;. See you last 2 chaps!

~Shintori Khazumi

[elisaphoenix13]

Delusional (Ch.1)

Okay, so this is something that won't be for everyone. It's a trope that me and my friends got into while RPing so this was born. I think this will be one of those fics that I'll only continue if there's enough interest. Let me know what you think!

Tony had been pissed when his parents told him that his mother was pregnant. He had no idea what possessed them to think having another kid was a good idea when they could barely pay attention to the one they already had, and he even said that. It ended up turning into an argument between him and Howard and Tony gave them both the cold shoulder for the entirety of Maria's pregnancy. Whether it was because of her age or possibly because of Tony's ongoing silent treatment stressing her out, his mother went into labor a month early. Tony couldn't even bring himself to visit his parents or the new baby at the hospital, but they eventually came home with his new baby brother that he almost considered ignoring completely.

But then he realized that would make him exactly like Howard.

So when his parents went gallivanting off to some party one day, leaving their preemie baby in the hands of the maid, Tony finally decided to properly meet his brother. A seventeen year age difference wasn't unheard of, but it still felt weird to walk into the nursery with the knowledge that the baby inside was a sibling. He decided he would make sure the baby was still alive and then go back to his bedroom to study for his physics final, but when he approached the crib the baby was sleeping in...he softened.

His baby brother slept peacefully on his back with his arms stretched out on both sides of his head and every so often snuffled in his sleep. He wasn't covered with a blanket and he vaguely recalled hearing that he shouldn't be at his age, but he was at least dressed warmly in tiny blue footie pajamas. He had wisps of dark hair that looked like they would be soft to the touch and Tony was tempted to reach out and see but he refrained. He didn't want to disturb the baby.

Tony had been so focused on ignoring Howard that he had to wrack his brain for his brother's name, which he knew his mother had told him. He was pretty sure he had been studying at the time and was only half listening, but it eventually came to him.

Scott.

Scott Harris Stark.

It was barely seconds later that the baby started to fuss and Tony looked around a little lost before finally giving in and leaning down to scoop him up. Tony was a goner after that. Scott's hair was just as soft as it looked and Tony was worried he could break his brother if he so much as sneezed. It didn't stop him from taking over most of the responsibilities of caring for Scott from that moment on though. Tony did his research, watched his mother, and even asked the maid for advice, but soon he was changing diapers. He fed Scott, stayed up for hours on end when he was colicky or sick, dressed him, played with him…

Tony was determined to make sure Scott had the love and attention he was deprived of. At least Maria tried with both of them.

But when Scott was just under a year old, tragedy struck. Both their parents died in a car accident on the way to a party, leaving Tony alone with his infant brother. Fortunately he was freshly eighteen so he could have legal guardianship over Scott and Tony had Rhodey and Obadiah for support and help with the company he now had control over. Scott always came first though. Tony made sure he had a decent childhood despite the fact that he easily got sick, and the adorable smiles he got in return were well worth it as Scott grew up.

So was the boy's first word. Dad. Tony never corrected him since he did raise Scott, and his brother never knew their parents. So as far as Scott knew, Tony was his father and Tony made sure to hide away the truth. As far as he was concerned, the lie wasn't hurting Scott and it was partly true in a sense.

He didn't expect it to be easy and it wasn't. Because Scott was born premature, he had special needs in the form of allergies (both food and environmental), asthma, and he even got sick constantly. Most days found Scott in Tony's room because the boy whined whenever Tony tried to put him in his own room, and he was terrified Scott would stop breathing in the middle of the night. Scott slept in Tony's bed until well into his grade school years when he finally started to grow out of his need to be near his father. Tony was still nervous and checked on Scott before he went to bed and at least once in the middle of the night when he woke up.

When Tony first found out Scott was allergic to peanuts, he was a wreck. He threatened the doctors to help his kid when he heard Scott wheezing for breath, and when the boy was finally recovering, he demanded they do whatever they had to do to check for any allergies he might have had. Tony didn't think he could handle seeing Scott as sick as he was again. The wheezing, the hives, the overall misery his little boy had been in…

It turned out Scott was severely allergic to all types of nuts. Peanuts, cashews, almonds, walnuts...if it was a nut, Scott couldn't have it. That was easy enough to plan meals around but then there was also shellfish, sesame, parsley, and pineapple. Whenever they went out to eat, Tony scrutinized every ingredient on the menu if it was available, and if it wasn't, he demanded to talk to the chefs. Fortunately once he learned what food Scott could have, it became second nature.

Tony always made sure to carry an inhaler and epipen with him, had extras held for Scott at school, and more in the boy's backpack. He taught Scott as early as possible what he couldn't eat because it would make him very sick and for the most part, things went well enough. There was only one incident at school when Scott unknowingly ate something he wasn't supposed to, but he was quickly treated with one of his pens and sent to the hospital. Scott was quick to bounce back from that since the school staff had been prepared, so the only constant issue was his asthma.

Scott never let it slow him down and Tony swore he was going to either go gray at 25 or suffer heart failure. The little boy was constantly climbing everything, and Tony once had to pull him off the bookcase that he managed to climb up to the fifth shelf. The fifth shelf. Rhodey had his fair share of retrieving Scott from high places whenever he visited too.

Before Tony knew it, Scott had grown into a young man with a talent for hacking and engineering and had a penchant for tacos, oranges, and lollipops. He helped Tony with a lot of his projects but absolutely refused to help with anything related to weapons. Scott never liked violence and always hated that Stark Industries was solely based on weapons making. Tony never faulted him for it.

"Scott, have you seen my--?" Tony stops mid sentence when he looks over at the young man and finds him at his computers with his feet kicked up on a small part of the desk, dozing with a lollipop in his mouth. "Oh, that's safe."

He walks over and takes the lollipop out of Scott's mouth and he jolts awake. "Hey! I was eating that!" Scott complains.

"Yeah, you were very proactive about it. I didn't raise you for 21 years so you could choke and die because you fell asleep with candy in your mouth." Tony rolls his eyes and sticks the candy back in Scott's mouth before he could protest. "Now have you seen that little screwdriver you like to steal?"

"You had it last, and I've been busy updating Jarvis's code." Scott answers.

"I saw that. I guess you're so good you can do it in your sleep."

"It was uploading!" Scott drops his feet to the ground with an annoyed huff. "And I told you I wouldn't help you with your stupid weapons. That includes finding misplaced tools."

"Fine, fine."

Tony tries fixing the cow lick in Scott's hair and rolls his eyes when it only floofs back into place. He learned very early on that his kid's hair was untameable but that didn't stop Tony from trying. Hair gel, pomade, hair spray...none of it could contain and style Scott's hair. The cow lick worked for him though so Tony wasn't too obsessed with trying to find something to keep it in place.

"Well while you wait for your new code to upload, why don't you make me a sandwich?" Tony says. "I gotta get the Jericho prototype finished tonight."

Scott frowns. "Why do they want you to fly all the way out to Afghanistan? What's wrong with how you usually sell this stuff?"

"It's just for a couple of days volpino. Now where's my tuna sandwich?" Tony asks.

"Probably in the fridge. It's deconstructed." Scott says as he leaves the lab.

"Oh, haha. Funny. I like mine constructed so get on it. Chop chop."

Tony smirks when he hears Scott mumble something under his breath along the lines "slave driver", but with no heat. Things had gotten easier as Scott got older but he never really grew out of his physical problems. He still had his food and environmental allergies, his asthma, and even his tendency to get sick, but that had mostly been remedied when Tony moved them to Malibu. The warm weather helped with that and Scott didn't get sick nearly as often as he did in New York, and that had been a huge relief for the both of them. Tony only wished he had thought of it sooner.

When Scott comes back with the sandwich and sets it nearby for Tony, the man looks up at him and rolls his eyes when he finds the younger man drinking out of a juice box. "You know you can have beer now right?"

"Juice is better." Scott says. "When are you leaving tomorrow?"

"You'll probably still be asleep. Even if I leave late." Tony grabs the sandwich and takes a bite. "So try not to blow up the lab while I'm gone." He adds around his mouthful.

"That's no fun." Scott says sarcastically. "Pepper called by the way. She said she has some paperwork for you to look at before you leave."

Tony groans. "Tell her I'm not home."

"It'll be true in a few hours anyway."

"Don't underestimate Pepper. She'll be waiting on the tarmac for me to look at those papers if she has to." Tony grumbles and then looks up at Scott with a suspicious smile that makes his son narrow his eyes at him. "You're 21. Maybe it's time to start giving you some responsibility with the company."

"I do. It's called making sure my dad doesn't blow himself up because he writes codes when he's half asleep. How are we still alive?"

"Rhodey and Happy." Tony replies dryly before whapping Scott upside the head. "Don't sass me."

Scott rubs the back of his head as he walks back over to his personal workstation to check on the progress of the code. When he had shown an interest in engineering and computers, Tony had immediately set up Scott's own work area with age appropriate equipment that he either replaced or updated as Scott got older. He was good at it too. Tony couldn't count the number of times he got calls from the FBI asking him to get Scott to stop leaving them viruses with laughing cat videos or something. They were always harmless and easily fixed, so Tony's response was to tell them to update their security so Scott couldn't get in.

Apparently they had yet to find a way to keep Scott out and Tony wasn't about to take away one of his son's very few joys in life. As long as it all stayed harmless, Tony would look the other way. He knew Scott was very capable of hacking into pretty much anything, and he was glad his kid was a pacifist. Because Scott was definitely very capable of getting his hands on nuke codes.

Tony actually wouldn't be surprised if Scott had already gone in and changed them.

Some whirring pulls Tony out of his thoughts and he looks over at the kitchenette to find DUM-E making smoothies again. A quick glance told him that there was at least peanut butter and almond milk in it so it wasn't safe for baby boy consumption.

"Hey! Are you trying to kill your little brother with that?" Tony asks and DUM-E beeps sadly when the blender goes off. "You know he can't have nuts!"

"There goes my social life." Scott says and Tony makes a face.

"I don't want to hear about that."

"Says the man whose one night stands I had to chase away."

Tony laughs. "To be fair, it was funny to see them get creeped out when you just stood in the kitchen and stared at them while drinking your juice box."

"...yeah. That was pretty fun." Scott admits.

"Sir, Miss Potts is on her way down." JARVIS says and Tony groans.

"Ugh the dreaded secretary with her paperwork."

There's a few beeps before the lab door hisses open and then the sound of heels clicking across the linoleum.

"Tony-"

"I know," he sighs. "Paperwork. Give it to Scott."

Pepper places the small stack next to his arm. "He's too busy making sure you don't blow yourself up."

"You know I had to teach him how to do that right?"

"And now he's better than you." Pepper says and Scott cackles.

"Ouch. My pride." Tony clutches at his chest in mock hurt.

"Please just look at this and sign. It won't even take you ten minutes." Pepper sighs.

"I trust you."

"Nice try."

[cosmicpines]

OTGW Dream-Unknown Comic Lore

Hey! Thought I’d make a post about the “ongoing” (now finished) post-series OTGW comic and the implications it has to the lore of the show, since I’m not sure everyone has read them.

Big Note: these comics are only dubiously canon! None were written by Pat McHale.

Other Big Note: I think assigning hard “mechanics” to how the Unknown works defeats the purpose. It is mean to be loose, fairytale like, shepherded by emotion. Putting a stamp on “this is how they get in and out” and “this is exactly what happened” doesn’t make sense -- part of the point is we, Greg, and Wirt don’t know exactly what the Unknown is.

That being said, i still think it’s fun to look at the facts presented in the comics and see if we can figure out a bit of what’s going on. This post is long because this is who I am as a person, apparently.

TLDR: Wirt and Greg can be brought to the Unknown during their dreams, potentially for multiple days in one night. They are there until they both realize they are dreaming and they solve the problem they were brought there for.

Right off the bat, in issue 1, we find out that Greg can go to the Unknown in his dreams -- in this case, because Jason told him that there was a “new case” for them to solve.

He briefly wakes up and goes back to sleep (probably because they wanted to show Wirt in issue 1.)

Greg doesn’t seem surprised to find himself in the Unknown; quite the opposite: Jason is telling him about a “new” case, implying that this has happened before, possibly multiple times. We have no idea how long after the series this takes place, only that it’s either fall or winter, judging from their pajamas.

Greg doesn’t offer us any other insight to what’s going on, but, eventually, Wirt shows up in issue 4.  He asks Greg what he’s, and later they, are doing here, implying he did not choose to come and they don’t always come here at the same time.

Wirt is particularly interesting that he seems to think they may not be able to leave again, as he brings up on 2 occasions.

However, this may just be because he doesn’t know he’s dreaming.

(Yes, that’s Sara. More on her later.)

A detail that I think is important from the show here -- then, Wirt also couldn’t remember entering the Unknown, since he seemed to think he and Greg were lost and not, you know, drowning in a river. I think it’s very possible that when you enter the Unknown, you forget how you got there. Remembering that is key to being able to escape.

Sara tells Wirt he’s dreaming, and from that point on, he no longer waxes about being trapped: he instead tells Greg he wants to go home, as seen in issue 12.

When Greg and Wirt split up to solve the last mysteries:

This implies that they don’t have to go home together and, at this point, they are more or less capable of going home whenever.

Issue 16 brings them both home, Greg after revealing Hero Frog’s intentions and getting Jason elected mayor:

And Wirt after he and Sara defeat the Shapeshifter.

(poor wirt lmao)

I think these puzzle pieces can lead to a conclusion: They can only go home from the Dream Unknown once they are both aware that they are dreaming and they solve whatever problem they were brought here for. Once they do, they can go back whenever they want. 

After waking up, Greg immediately checks on his brother.

Solidifying that they remember what happened, and, implying at least, that they don’t always get home at the same time. I can see scenarios where one sits in the other’s room, waiting for them to wake up...

We ultimately don’t know how often this happens, what triggers it, and how aware they are of the whole thing. Judging from their reactions to being there and going home, I feel like this sort of thing happens often enough, but not so often that it’s exhausting and/or terrifying... once a month, maybe?

If that rate increases, though... well, that’s just some fun fanfiction fuel.

Some other observations:

1. Greg and Wirt may not experience things exactly the same in the Dream Unknown.

When Wirt first shows up, he makes this comment:

“A bunch of nightmare stuff” seems a little... extreme, for what Wirt was doing, as said ghost was a beaver in a sheet. 

Issue 6 offers a potential explanation. The framing device for this issue is a tavern keeper asks them why they look so tired, and Greg and Wirt both tell the story of having to sit in a location all night to meet someone, but their stories vary wildly. For Greg, they were on a stage. For Wirt, they were in a graveyard.

Both stories have seriously different levels of Wirt’s enthusiasm,

and how creepy it is.

I won’t pretend that this is canon that they’re experiencing it differently; it’s definitely possible that one or both of them are unreliable narrators. Certain details, like Wirt singing, point more to that, but others, like Wirt getting eaten by a demon horse, is... a lot more extreme, haha.

This is also partly refuted later in the comic, as Greg and Wirt get separated but visit the same places, which are largely the same.

But still, it’s a fun idea.

2. Sara is here

Yeah, so, this can either be adorable or terrifying.

All Sara really says about her being here is that she thinks this is a lucid dream where Wirt is a person in it, which Wirt never presses her but come on Wirt please press her cause what the fuuuuuuckkkkk????? Sara ultimately doesn’t seem to know what the Unknown really is, since she only refers to it as a lucid dream.

Three explanations I can think of:

1. Her line “I’m having a lucid dream and you’re a part of it” could be meant to imply that the opposite: Wirt is the one having the dream and has dreamed up a Sara to adventure with him.This Sara is just something Wirt has created to join him in the Unknown, and the real Sara isn’t involved or aware of this at all. This isn’t the first time the Unknown has created a Sara, if you consider Distillatoria canon (which... ehhhhh......  I have Opinions about that lol)

2. Sara has been to the Unknown before. If that is the case, it either happened recently, since Wirt is surprised to see her there, or Sara has been doing this for a while and they just haven’t run into each other. Her saying it’s just a dream isn’t incorrect, and if she doesn’t think Wirt is really Wirt (that the Unknown created him), there’s no reason for her to be like “hey, we’re in a dream recreation of purgatory that apparently has a grasp on my soul for all eternity.”

3. This is the first time Sara has been to the Unknown, and Wirt unintentionally brought her along. This one has the least evidence towards it, but I think it’s interesting. Greg is able to bring his stuffed raccoon with him to the Unknown, so why can’t Wirt bring the consciousness of his crush and/or girlfriend?

Another thing to think about when considering this: Wirt and Greg are in the Unknown in their Halloween costumes. I like the idea that whatever you wore to the Unknown when you go is what you always wear when you’re there. Sara is all dressed for an adventure, with a cute green cape, a huge backpack, and a bee mask (specifically to trick the shapeshifter).

So I’m not sure what she might have been doing to be wearing this and then end up in the Unknown... Either she’s into LARP, she got into a hiking accident while wearing a sick cape, she changed clothes after arriving in the Dream Unknown, or her outfit is part of Wirt’s dream.

No idea which explanation is “correct;” I think they’re all interesting to play with!

3. Jason has relatives in the Unknown

Apparently the Hero Frog is Jason’s dad???

Which is... fascinating, considering they found Jason before going into the Unknown.

I think I read ages ago a theory that Jason is originally from the Unknown and got out somehow, as he is a lot more intelligent than a real frog should be. Who knows, though.

It’s probably also of note that Jason is the one who instigates them entering the Unknown, “telling” Greg there’s a mystery to solve.

4. Multiple days pass by in the dream

This is “fun...”

Day 1: Issue 1 (Greg’s arrival) - Issue 4 (Wirt’s arrival, diverging story)

Day 2: Issue 6 (morning after diverging tale) - Issue 7 (Greg sneaks around bird town, Wirt encounters a ghost)

Day 3: Issue 9 (Greg goes over a mountain. There’s a very fast day-night cycle here, but I think it’s for comedic effect. Wirt arrives in bird town and meets up with Sara.) - Issue 11 (Greg joins some “highwaymen”) /12 (Wirt and Sara help a sick goose)

Day 4: Issue 12 (Greg, Wirt, and Sara meet up in frog town) - Issue 14 (Greg spies on Hero Frog, Wirt and Sara get taken by an orphanage)

Day 5: Issue 15 (Greg/Wirt/Sara make their plan, Greg goes home before nightfall in 16) - Issue 16 (Wirt and Sara defeat the shapeshifter)

This is 5 full days they spend in the dream. Some of them are a lot fewer events than would happen in a day, and it’s very likely time is moving faster in the dream, but... jeez. That’s got to screw with your mind if this happens too often. Like, imagine the worst case scenario where they go to the Unknown every night and spend 5 days there every time! I doubt this is the case, but holy shit.

5. Beatrice, the Woodsman, Lorna, and the Beast are nowhere to be seen

This is more of an observation, but there is not even a passing mention of any of these three. Either they were all checked in on their first dream adventure, or they can’t remember that first adventure while in the dream too clearly...

There’s a ton of fun theories that you can make out of the Dream Unknown. Is the Dream Unknown the same as the Halloween Unknown? Are the boys souls claimed by the Unknown forever? Will it keep calling them back, night after night, until they go back permanently? How does this effect their healing from their trauma? Are these dreams going to increase or decrease in frequency? Do they always last exactly one night? Can Wirt fall asleep in class, spend a week in the Unknown, and wake up before the end of the period? Can Greg go to bed for the night and not wake up all day, but only have been in the Unknown for a few minutes? Does time pass in the Unknown without them there? In the Dream Unknown, will they always be the age that they originally were when they entered the Unknown? Does anyone else in the Unknown do this? (at some point, I want to do a theory post about who is from the Unknown and who is from the “real” world...)

Anyway... this post completely ran away with me. Hope you enjoyed! Send me your theories; I’m itching to hear them!

[nostalgiabones]

As Time Goes By // L.H

So here it is — part two to Missing Piece! This is officially the longest fic that I have ever written. I put so so much into this as people seemed to enjoy the first part so much, so I hope I did it justice! I just wanted to say thank you so much to everyone who has sent me kind & encouraging messages about this — I don’t think i’ve ever had such an amazing response to a fic like that before, so it means the world to me! Also, a huge thank you to @calumrose for putting up with me rambling about nothing but this for the past three days, and reading it over and over everytime I added another line! I would LOVE to get some feedback on this, so please let me know your thoughts ♥️

Word count: 12,635

Bella had been home for just over a week.

It had been a long nine days of sleepless nights and adjusting to each other, in more ways than one. You and Luke had been thrown into the role of first time parents, but not with a newborn — instead with a 14 month old. Bella was confused. It was as if she didn’t understand that she lived with you and Luke now; that your house was her home. She wasn’t comfortable just yet.

She didn’t like being held for too long, she would never openly indicate that she wanted affection. She would push away from you and Luke if you tried to hold her or comfort her when she cried. You’d usually have to wait until she crashed somewhere in the house before cautiously carrying her up to bed. Yet, if she woke up in her crib, she would cry for attention until you or Luke brought her into bed with the two of you. It made sense — she was in an unfamiliar house, with people she was unsure of. You had to remember that it was a big adjustment for her, as well as for you and Luke.

She just wanted to know that you were there.

It was exhausting. Getting very little sleep during the night was having an effect on all three of you during the day. Luke had taken a few weeks away from the studio in order to be at home to support you and be there for Bella. She needed to get to know you both as her parents.

“What time did Sarah say she would be here?” Luke asked, slumped against the cushions of the sofa. He had his eyes on Bella, sitting up on her play mat on the floor. They had been up since 5:00am, after having only several hours of sleep — the new normal in your household.

He was tired, and so was she. He promised he could watch her whilst you caught up on sleep. You had worked out a system where you’d take shifts in the morning; one of you would watch her for a few hours whilst the other slept. It worked as it meant at least one of you was running on more than three hours sleep.

It won’t be like this forever.

At least that’s what you had read on countless adoption discussion forums, in the middle of the night when you couldn’t sleep. You just needed some kind of reassurance that Bella was going to be okay. Even though it had only been a week, it felt like much longer — and so far, things weren’t easing up.

“I think around lunch.” You replied, tapping on the screen of your phone to check the time. It seemed to lose all meaning now that night and day were practically the same.

There was a moment of silence before Luke asked, “Are you nervous about it?”

You watched as Bella reached out for her stuffed bear on the floor, before rubbing her eyes. Two clear signs she was tired. Signs that Sarah knew too.

“I just don’t want her to think we’re doing something wrong,” You sighed. Luke held his arm out against the back of the sofa, gesturing for you to lay against him. You happily obliged, the familiar scent and warmth of his body providing comfort that you needed in the moment. “She’s so tired. I don’t want Sarah to think we aren’t taking care of her.”

“I know what you mean.” Luke nodded in agreement. It was good to have him going through the same process as you — there was never a time where he made you feel unreasonable, or as though you couldn’t tell him how you felt. “But you know Sarah told us none of this was going to be easy. She’s done this before, she knows it takes much longer than a week for her to settle in.”

The rational part of your brain knew he was right.

Sarah would still be visiting for the foreseeable future; you and Luke weren’t able to apply for the adoption order to officially adopt Bella until she had lived with you for at least ten weeks. Until then, Sarah was still partly legally responsible for Bella as well as you and Luke. It seemed like a long time, but at this rate, you were grateful to have her ongoing support.

“I’ll go put her down.” Luke moved cautiously. He kissed your cheek in a gesture of reassurance before lifting Bella up, praying that she would stay asleep until he put her down. Cradling her in his arms, he looked at her face as she slept. Her soft, rosy cheeks sucked on the pacifier between her lips as she slept — one of the things that always helped her calm down. She felt warm against his t-shirt. It made his heart ache that she wasn’t comfortable with the two of you yet. She looked so calm; it made him forget about the hours that she spent crying that kept him up at night.

Luke went through the motions of what he usually did when putting her down for a nap. He had spent far too long researching different ways to help her adjust to him, and to her new home. One of the things that was meant to help was surrounding her with familiar items that would remind her of you and/or him, and since he found this — he let her sleep with his well worn cream Friends of Friends hoodie. It was soft and smelt like him. He grabbed it from the chair in the corner of your bedroom (one that often turned into his laundry pile, no matter how many times you told him to not do that) and set it down in her crib. He held onto her a little tighter for a moment — it felt nice to hold her without her pushing away from him, which she often did. The rejection from her made his heart ache, when all he wanted to do was love her and have her love him back.

“Sleep tight, bubs.” He whispered to her, being gentle as he set her down on top of his hoodie. She stirred for a moment, burying her face in the soft material and pulling her stuffed bear closer to her as she got comfortable. He felt relieved when she curled up into a ball and stayed asleep. It was then Luke noticed Petunia had followed him upstairs; she flopped at the end of your shared bed, ready to watch Bella as she slept. She had become very protective over Bella in the past week, even though she hadn’t warmed up to Petunia yet.

Luke knelt down at the foot of the bed, squishing Petunia’s cheeks in his hands like he always did.

“Don’t wake her up, piggy.” He murmured to her, kissing the top of her head before quietly leaving the room. He hadn’t heard the knocking at the door whilst he was upstairs, but when he got back to the lounge, he found Sarah sitting on the sofa — warm mug of tea in her hands and the same kind smile on her face that he had seen at every encounter with her.

“Hi, Luke. It’s good to see you! I’m looking forward to catching up.” Sarah greeted him, standing up to wrap him in a hug. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but you look just as tired as your lovely other half does.”

“No offence taken,” He replied, knowing the bags under his eyes were a clear indication of his lack of sleep over the past week. “It’s good to see you too. We have a lot to catch you up on.”

“So I hear.” She sat back down on the sofa as you joined the two of them, handing a drink to Luke as well as holding your own. “So, how has she been? Fill me in. Please don’t feel like you have to hold back, I hope you know that i’m not here to judge you. I know it’s tough at first.”

“She hasn’t been sleeping, well, at all really.” You began, your tired mind trying to recall everything from the past week. “It’s been really hard to comfort her too, she pushes away from us when she’s upset and we try to hold her.”

Sarah nodded as you spoke.

“You might be relieved to know that those behaviours are completely normal,” She replied, offering you a comforting smile. “I was expecting you to say that. It’s all part of the process — she’s probably not sure that you can comfort her yet, which is why she’s so reluctant.”

Luke sighed in relief at her words. It was nice to get reassurance from someone who knew Bella so well — who had cared for her pretty much since she was born. Time was so important in this situation. He just needed to be patient.

“It’s hard for her to understand that she lives here now,” Sarah continued to explain. You knew all of these things, yet the difficulties over the past week had clouded your mind. You needed to hear her say it again. “Everything has changed for her. It’s a huge adjustment. I know you know this, but it doesn’t hurt to be reminded. Please don’t think you’re doing anything wrong.”

“It’s really good to hear that.” Luke ran a hand through his curls as he spoke. “We’ve just been really worried that she’s sad or feels unsafe.”

“I know you’re probably sick of hearing that it takes time, but it really does.”

She listened to all of your worries and fears, letting the two of you get everything out. It felt good to talk to someone other than Luke about them — he listened, but was in the same position as you. He didn’t have the answers that you needed, as much as he wished he did. You talked until the sound of Bella’s cries came through the baby monitor, and Luke jumped up to get her.

“I’ll be right back.”

Luke climbed the stairs, getting closer to the sound of Bella crying and Petunia barking. He knew Petunia was probably trying to help by getting his attention, but he was also sure it scared Bella. Especially when she wasn’t her biggest fan.

“Hey, you’re okay.” He soothed, giving her a minute to wake up before he tried to hold her. Luke had a feeling Sarah was about to see exactly what you’d been talking about. He tried to pick her up the best he could, despite her wriggling and protests to be put down. “Shh, it’s alright Bella. Someone is here to see you.”

He grabbed her necessities; a pacifier and her bear before descending the stairs once more. She was sniffling in his arms, upset like she usually was when she woke up. The pacifier helped a little; the familiarity providing some comfort.

“Look who it is!”

Bella’s eyes lit up as they landed on Sarah. She immediately held her arms out to her, pushing herself away from Luke as she tried so hard to get to Sarah. Luke’s eyes caught yours as you watched Sarah comfort Bella. It was hard to see. She calmed down so quickly and looked so content in her arms. You knew Luke was thinking the same thing.

“Hi, you.” Sarah cuddled her as she clung onto her, as if she didn’t want to let go. “I’ve missed you so much.”

Silence settled over the room. It wasn’t awkward, but the uncomfortable realisation dawned on you and Luke that this was the most content Bella had been since she moved into your home.

“I know what you’re thinking.” Sarah broke the quietness with her words. “This last week is the longest we’ve been apart in her life. Don’t let it discourage you, okay? I promise, you’re doing great.”

Bella got upset once more when Sarah had to leave.

Luke’s heart felt heavy as Sarah attempted to pass her back to him, reassuring her that she was okay and safe to stay with him. She wailed against his shoulder, pushing her arms against his chest as a gesture to be put down.

“Hey, c’mon Bella. You’re okay.” He murmured, patting her back as Sarah left the house. The exhaustion from not sleeping combined with the guilt that ate away at him for how upset Bella was made it more difficult to think rationally. He just didn’t know what to do.

“I think we should just let her feel it out.” You suggested to Luke, a comforting hand rubbing over the spanse of his back and shoulder blades in an attempt to provide some reassurance. Seeing Luke beat himself up everytime he couldn’t calm her down was tough. “She’ll come to us if she needs us.”

“Will she?”

Luke didn’t mean to snap. He was tired. He wanted Bella to stop crying, to not be upset anymore — to want him, and to love him like he loved her.

“It’ll be okay. We’ll come back in a few minutes to check on her, okay?” You reassured him, trying to win over the resistance you could see in his face as he held her. She pushed her little hands against his chest once more, before Luke set her down on the ground. She sat on the floor in front of the front door, looking up at it as to wonder where Sarah had gone.

Luke flopped down on the sofa, running a hand over his face and through his hair. You joined him, resting your hand on his thigh to calm him down.

“Sarah said it’s normal, Lu.” You reminded him, knowing that it was hard to get through to him when he was in a mood like this, but knowing he needed the reminder. “I know it’s taking a long time. We just have to be patient.”

Luke nodded. He understood, and knew you were right — as well as not having the energy to argue.

“It’s only been a week,” You continued, resting your head on his shoulder. “We have a lifetime with her.”

Your words made Luke feel better. He had a lifetime to get to know her, to love her — to be her parent. You sat together in a comfortable silence for a few moments more, thinking about the visit from Sarah, along with how Bella had reacted. She still felt safe with Sarah. It felt a little like a punch to the gut, as the two of you were trying so hard. It wasn’t her fault, though.

It just takes time.

“I’m gonna go get her.” Luke’s lips brushed yours in a sweet kiss before he stood up, stretching out his shoulders and preparing himself for how she might react to him. “We should probably have lunch soon.”

You nodded in acknowledgement, waiting for the cries which usually came whenever either of you tried to comfort Bella. Although, a few moments passed and the tears never came. Luke stepped back into the lounge where you were sat, Bella passed out against his shoulder. She looked content for the time being, her soft cheeks rosy from tears, a small hand clinging onto the neck of Luke’s hoodie.

“I know it’s not nap time but I don’t think we should wake her up.” Luke spoke quietly, his hand gently patting Bella’s back as she slept. The happy moments with her really did make it worth it, knowing she felt comfortable enough to sleep on him did make you think that everything would be okay. She would feel safe eventually. “She probably tired herself out.”

“She looks pretty cosy on you.” You murmured, resting your head on his other shoulder after he sat down next to you. He could feel every emotion through the way you were looking at him — the love, the adoration, the desperation for everything to work out okay. Seeing Luke with your child made your heart swell. It was something you thought you may never get the chance to see, when you found out the two of you would be unable to conceive naturally — something that had laid heavy on your heart. He was meant to be a parent. He had too much love in his heart not to be — especially when you saw the love he had for Michael’s daughter, Harper. You knew it was just meant to happen.

You were Harper’s favourite babysitters; there was many a time she spent the evening with you and Luke, when Michael and his partner needed a night to themselves. Luke never seemed to get bored, happy to go along with any game she wanted him to play, as long as she was happy. He loved her cuddles just as much as she did. By the end of the night, when Michael came to pick her up, he’d usually find her fast asleep, tucked up on Luke’s chest. It always made your heart ache, wondering when or if you’d get to see Luke with your own child.

No wonder how difficult things got with Bella, she was worth it.

She deserved a happy family, one that could show her the love and nurture she had missed out on. She deserved a home, which as you looked at her with Luke, you knew she already had.

***

A few weeks later, you were still taking things a day at a time. Bella was slowly getting more comfortable, and had settled into a more consistent sleeping pattern — meaning you and Luke managed to get some more sleep too.

Things were slowly but surely getting easier.

You were all still learning things about each other. You and Luke were adapting to being parents, to having responsibility for another human life who depended on you for everything. It was also amazing, though. Every smile and happy expression you saw on Bella’s face made everything worth it. She had become much more playful with the two of you — showing more interest in the many toys you had gotten her, as well as making her way through some new books with the two of you. It had become part of her bedtime routine, settled in the rocking chair with either you or Luke whilst you read her a story. It calmed her down before going to sleep.

Something else you were currently working on with her, was getting her to take her first steps — she had started pulling herself up against the sofa or anything else she could reach, standing on wobbly feet until either you or Luke helped her.

“Bella,” Luke called softly from his spot on the floor, where he was sitting cross legged with Petunia resting her head on his knee. Bella had warmed up to Petunia too — she didn’t cry whenever she went near her anymore, and was more comfortable being around her. “Can I have a hug?”

The two of you were slowly trying to get her to be more affectionate. You never pushed her into hugging you or to being held — it was important she had her own space, and that she never felt pressured into being close to you both if she didn’t want to be. You and Luke always made the effort to ask her if she wanted to be held, and if she said no, you didn’t.

She was sitting a metre or so in front of him, a pacifier in her mouth and her teddy bear in her hands as she looked up at him. Her eyes watched him for a moment, recognising his gesture of holding his arms out to her — she’d ignore him if she didn’t want to be close to him. Yet, she seemed to decide against that — pushing herself up on unsteady feet against the sofa, trying to get her balance. You watched their interaction, stood at the door to the lounge to observe. Pulling your phone out, you set it to record — wanting to have the special moment to look back on forever, as well as to show Sarah.

She looked down at her feet and then back up at him, as if she was trying to work out how to get there.

“Should I help her?” Luke asked you, knowing she was unsteady on her feet but also intrigued to see whether she could do it herself.

“Just wait a minute, let’s see what she does.” You replied quietly, not wanting to startle or distract her. She rubbed her eyes, whining softly as she rubbed her cheeks against the soft cushions on the sofa. “I think she’s tired, probably why she wants a hug.”

Luke moved a little closer to her, shuffling so she wouldn’t have as far to get to him. He held his arms out to her, not close enough so she could hold his hands, but not too far that she could fall.

“Come here, angel.” He coaxed her, noticing the apprehension on her face, but also how her eyes kept moving between her feet and him. “You can do it.”

Bella pushed herself away from the sofa, one hand clinging to the edge whilst the other helped her to get her balance. She moved one foot forward, and then the other, before wobbling a little and whining around her pacifier.

“It’s okay, sweet pea. You got it,” Luke soothed her, desperate to reach out and get her, but knowing she needed to do it for herself. She took another, moving forward again before falling into Luke’s arms. “You did it!”

Tears welled in your eyes at the milestone she had achieved. You sat down next to the two of them to join them, placing a hand on her shoulder as Luke cuddled her.

“Bella, you did it! You walked, baby!” You exclaimed, trying to stop the happy tears from falling as you sat with them. “We’re so proud of you.”

She seemed happy with herself, not completely understanding why you and Luke were so excited, but enjoying the attention she was getting from the two of you.

“Hug?” She asked softly, wrapping her arms around Luke’s neck. You couldn’t stop the tears from flowing at the sight — her openly asking for affection from Luke really was a huge step. It wasn’t often she spoke, only really doing so when she needed something — so to hear her ask for a hug was a lot.

“Of course, angel.” Luke was overcome with emotion too. He rested his head against hers as she clung to his neck, patting her back to hold her close. “I love you. Thanks for the cuddle.”

You kissed her cheek as well as Luke’s, before standing up to resume making dinner in the kitchen, your heart melting at the events from moments ago. As you stood up, you heard a soft whine from Bella, before a sad “no.” You turned around to look at her, asking a concerned, “what’s wrong, baby?”

“Hug.” She pouted up at you from her spot in Luke’s arms, holding her arms out to you. Luke couldn’t stop the smile on his face — he knew you worried about not bonding with her, about her not seeing you as her parent. Moments like these were so important to all three of you.

You reached down to pick her up, holding her in your arms — close to your chest. She rested her head on your shoulder, wrapping her arms around you like she just did with Luke. It made everything worthwhile, knowing she felt comfortable, safe and loved. You just wanted her to feel the love that you and Luke tried to show to her.

“You’re so sweet, Bella.” You cooed to her, running a hand through her soft curls. It felt so good to have her so close, so content with being held. Luke couldn’t take his eyes away from the two of you, a sense of relief washing over him that things were finally starting to improve, little by little. “Shall we go make some dinner?”

Bella was gradually becoming more open to affection. She seemed much more relaxed, much less sad — her grieving had lessened, but hadn’t completely gone. Luke found himself pacing around your bedroom every so often, letting her cry and process whatever she had going on. Sometimes she wanted to be held, sometimes she just wanted someone to be near her whilst she cried — it really depended on the situation.

Some nights she wouldn’t sleep — it seemed as though she didn’t really know what she wanted when she was in one of those moods. She’d lay in between you and Luke, not really wanting any attention but also not wanting to be alone. You and Luke didn’t sleep on those nights either.

“Bella, shall we read one of your books?” Luke asked quietly, gently setting his hand on her back to get her attention and offer some reassurance. He hoped it would help her sleep. She blinked up at him, sucking harder on her pacifier as she thought about what she wanted. She was so tired, but there was no way she would sleep. She didn’t cry either, but it was hard to know what she wanted.

“I’ll go make her a bottle.” You slipped away quietly, heading to the kitchen to get her some warm milk, hoping it would make her sleepy enough to actually fall asleep. She whined a little as she watched you leave.

“It’s okay, she’s coming back.” Luke soothed her, pushing her soft curls away from her face. She wasn’t really sure of how she felt or what would make her feel better, but yours and Luke’s faces were familiar to her, and she wanted you both around. She seemed to get upset when one of you left the room, no matter what situation you were in. “Shh, you’re alright.”

She laid down in the bed again, rubbing her face against the soft cotton pillowcase. She sniffled and sucked harder on her pacifier, which was one of the only things that brought her comfort. It was familiar to her and it always helped, even just a little. You and Luke had discussed trying to wean her off of it, but it wasn’t the time.

Luke’s heart ached as he looked at her.

She looked as though she was thinking far too much for someone who hadn’t even been alive for two years. She was only a baby, and it broke his heart to know she had felt so much sadness in her life so far. He couldn’t change what she had been through, but he could try to make it better going forward. That was all he wanted to do.

“I know you’re sad, sweet pea. That’s okay.” Luke murmured to her, not knowing whether she really understood what was saying, but wanting to say it anyway. His fingertips gently grazed up and down her pyjama covered back as he spoke. “You’re allowed to be sad. We love you though, okay? You’re so strong.”

She looked up at him as he spoke, like she wanted to hear his voice. There was no expression on her face, but it seemed as though she listened. They sat in a comfortable but somber silence until you returned, a bottle of milk along with a warm blanket in your hands.

“Here we go,” You sat back down in the bed, handing her the soft yellow blanket you had just warmed for a few moments in the dryer. She still wasn’t sure of what she wanted. You tried to hand her the milk too, but she shook her head, not accepting it. You and Luke had learned to be patient in these situations. You just had to go with whatever she wanted, and try not to get frustrated.

She held the blanket against her face, cuddling it close to herself. The warmth made her sleepy, her eyes heavy as she rubbed them. She held her hand out once more, towards the bottle — she decided that she did want it after all. You gave it to her and she took her pacifier out, then started to drink it, before deciding she was too tired and letting it slip out of her mouth.

“I got it.” Luke whispered, picking the warm bottle up from where it had fallen onto the bed. She snuggled up to the pillow and you wrapped the blanket around her, making sure she was comfortable. Luke held the bottle to her mouth, seeing if she did actually want it but was just too sleepy to hold it herself. She accepted it, sucking at the milk as Luke held it for her. “There we go.”

You softly ran your fingertips up and down her arm as she drank the milk, watching as her eyes grew heavier. She didn’t resist the affection — holding her blanket between her fingers and rubbing it against her face. It didn’t take long for her to fall asleep, her eyes finally closing her and breathing evening out. Luke slipped the pacifier back between her lips, waiting until she took to it before letting go.

“Shall I put her in the crib?” Luke asked, not wanting to risk waking her but knowing she should be sleeping in there, rather than in your bed.

“Not yet,” You replied, shaking your head. It was too soon — she would wake up if he tried to move her now. “Wait until she’s in more of a deep sleep.”

He nodded in agreement. You sat in a peaceful quietness; the soft sound of her breathing being the only one in the room, along with Petunia’s snores from her bed in the corner.

“She’s getting better.” You whispered, realising that it hadn’t taken as long to soothe her as it usually did. She hadn’t cried, she didn’t fight against either you or Luke when you tried to comfort her. It felt like progress. “She’s calming down faster than she used to.”

“It’s good to see.” He murmured, a soft smile on his face. It was reassuring to know she felt safe and was able to calm herself down enough to go to sleep. It meant more to you and Luke than words could describe — you didn’t need to say it. You both knew.

You sat together for a little longer, waiting until Bella was properly asleep before Luke tried to move her to bed. He scooped her up, resting her against her chest — soothing noises spilling from his lips as he tried to keep her asleep. He moved to the crib, rocking her in his arms for a moment before setting her down against the soft sheets.

“Shh, shh.” Luke whispered. She stirred a little, shuffling until she got comfortable before curling up into a ball, falling back asleep. He pushed her hair away from her face, kissing her forehead softly before whispering a quiet, “Goodnight, baby.”

***

Around a month after Bella being at home with you and Luke, the guys were desperate to meet her. It was important that she had time to adjust at home, getting used to living with the two of you before introducing her to anyone else. She had been getting more comfortable everyday, seeming to accept that this was her home now. You were nervous to introduce the guys to her. You didn’t want her to be overwhelmed, but it was important that she felt comfortable around them — it was especially important to Luke. They were his brothers, and he wanted his daughter to feel safe around them.

Bella was sitting in the middle of the living room floor, pushing her trains around the soft carpet, mumbling quiet noises to herself as she played. It was her new favourite game — she’d push them around the house, on any surface that would work, softly imitating the noises that they would make. The noise was something you’d come to hear a lot of, it was almost comforting — to know she was happy and content to play. Occasionally she’d call out a “choo choo!” making yours and Luke’s hearts melt. You had no idea where she had picked it up from — most likely a show Luke sat and watched with her when he got up with her, early in the morning.

“Do you think she’ll be okay?” You asked Luke, watching her from the kitchen as she played happily. She hadn’t been introduced to anyone other than you and him — you had no idea how she would react.

After speaking to Sarah, she had suggested that it would be a good time to introduce her to other people close to you, to see how she felt around them. The boys were a good place to start.

“I dunno,” He replied, wrapping his arms around your shoulders. He really wanted her to be okay. “I hope so, though. She’s been doing really well recently and Sarah said it seemed like a good time, so hopefully it’ll be okay.”

“I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.”

Michael was bringing Harper over too — you wanted to know how she would react around another child of a similar age to her. Harper, at the age of three, was around two years older than Bella but they were close enough in age to be able to play together. Harper had missed you and Luke, as you hadn’t been able to see her over the last month or so since Bella came home. Michael had told Luke several times over text that Harper was excited to see him — he had missed her too.

“Hey, guys!” You greeted them at the door when they arrived, Bella’s big brown eyes instantly looking up to the front door. She clutched onto her trains a little tighter, curious as to what was going on. Harper excitedly let go of Michael’s hand and jumped up at Luke, wrapping her arms around his legs.

“Uncle Luke!” She squealed excitedly, holding her arms up at him until he picked her up. “I miss you!”

“I’ve missed you too, sweetheart.” Luke held her on his hip as she happily chatted to him about what she had been up to. Calum, Ashton and Michael followed behind her, greeting you both and following you into the lounge.

“I brought some toys for Bella to play with!” Harper told you both excitedly, gesturing to the backpack hung on Michael’s shoulder.

“Harper,” Michael quietly got his daughter’s attention. “Come here, honey. Remember what we talked about, okay? Bella is a baby and she’s still trying to get used to living here. We don’t want to scare her, okay?”

Harper nodded, the reminder complete with a kiss to her cheek from her dad.

“It’s so weird that you’re parents now.” Calum placed his hand on Luke’s shoulder, in a show of support. “Congratulations again though.”

“Thanks, Cal.” You replied, smiling at him softly. They had all been so supportive throughout the whole process, and them meeting Bella had been a long time coming. “She’s just in here.”

“Bella,” Luke called out, crouching down next to where she was sitting. He was extremely worried about overwhelming her. “Shall we say hi? You have some visitors.”

Bella immediately became shy, her eyes observing the three unfamiliar tall men, along with the three year old girl holding onto Michael’s hand. She stopped pushing the train around in front of her and immediately clutched it to her chest, not knowing how to respond. She looked up at Luke, as if she expected him to know what to do. Ashton, Calum and Michael spread themselves out around the room, sitting apart on the sofa as not to scare her. There had been an extensive FaceTime call the night before, explaining how she was coping at home and how she may react to them— as well as giving them suggestions on how not to overwhelm her. Luke was happy to know they had paid attention.

“Up.” Bella’s voice was quiet as she spoke. She held her arms up to Luke, her gesture for him to pick her up. He did immediately, lips brushing over her temple as she observed the people in front of her.

“It’s okay,” He murmured, patting her back as she sat on his hip. The guys couldn’t hold back their smiles, at seeing Luke as a parent — especially Michael. They had all seen the effect that the whole process had on the two of you, and on your relationship. Michael felt guilty everytime Harper had been around you both, as much as he knew you loved her and how much you wished for a child of your own.

She wrapped her legs around him, ensuring he wouldn’t be able to put her down as small talk ensued between you and the guys. Ashton had started talking about a song he had written that he needed Luke’s expertise for, hoping to get him back in the studio soon. Although, he completely understood why Luke had needed the time away.

“Daddy,” Harper’s soft voice was heard in the room. She sat in Michael’s lap, waiting until he told her it was okay for her to play. “Can I play with the trains?”

“You’ll have to ask Uncle Luke baby, I think they’re Bella’s.” Michael replied, pushing her blonde hair out of her face as she slid off of his knee.

“We can play, honey.” Luke told her, sitting down with Bella in his lap. “Bella, shall we play with your trains with Harper? Let’s show them how we play, huh?”

Harper sat opposite them, picking up the first train she saw in front of her — which so happened to be the one Bella played with the most, her favourite red one. Bella whined in Luke’s arms as she realised, reaching out to take it from Harper.

“Hey, hey,” Luke took her much smaller hands in his, stopping her from snatching it from Harper. He knew she didn’t mean anything badly by it — she wasn’t used to sharing her things with anyone, especially not another child. “That one is her favourite, Harper. We can’t snatch though, okay Bella?”

“Why don’t we play with this one, bubba?” Michael had moved to sit next to his daughter, wanting to intervene to help Luke out. You chatted with Calum and Ashton as they played, as well as watching the interaction between Harper and Bella. You and Luke had been taking notes of her milestones, so you could report them back to Sarah on her next visit.

Bella’s eyebrows furrowed at the girl sitting in front of her, playing with her toys and getting Luke’s attention. She didn’t understand. She didn’t know who these people were, or why they were there, and she still wasn’t sure about them. Luke noticed how unsettled she seemed, her eyes curiously looking around the room as well as at Harper and Michael. She sat in his lap, arms crossed over her stomach in apprehension.

A few moments later, Bella reluctantly took another train and pushed it around in front of her, at an attempt to join in. It seemed like a little bit of progress, even though she barely interacted with the people in front of her. It was then Luke realised she didn’t have her pacifier, which could help to make her feel more content.

“I’ll be right back, okay?” He told her, setting her down on the soft rug to keep playing whilst he quickly went upstairs. He wouldn’t be long, and he knew it would help. You watched Bella as Luke stood up to leave, noticing how her lips formed into a pout and her eyes filled with tears. She stood up on wobbly feet, slowly trailing behind where she had seen Luke go, as if to say — where have you gone?

“Bella, it’s okay baby. He’s coming back.” You reassured her, moving to stand to make sure she didn’t fall. She kept going though, unsteady steps heading to the stairs where she knew Luke had gone. She whined softly from the bottom of the stairs, bottom lip stuck out in a pout as she looked for him.

“I’m here, Bella. Wait there, okay? I’ll be right back.” Luke told her, with a little urgency in his voice — she wasn’t steady enough on her feet to get upstairs, and he couldn’t bear the thought of her hurting herself because she wanted him. Although, he did find it sweet that she sought him out for reassurance. It made him happy that she recognised him as familiar, when she was surrounded by new people.

He grabbed her pacifier from her bedroom, as well as her favourite book and a few other things to keep her occupied. He quickly made his way back down the stairs, his heart melting at the sight of Bella standing up against the bottom step, waiting for him.

“Hey, you.” Luke cooed at her, picking her up and setting her on his hip again. He handed her the pacifier, watching as she slipped it into her mouth, hoping it would make her a little more relaxed. Luke sat in between Ashton and Calum on the sofa, setting Bella down to stand between his legs. She clung to him, her face resting against his stomach as she tried to hide her face.

“Hey, Bella.” Ashton smiled at her, not moving closer to her but wanting to interact with her somehow. She looked up at him, continuing to stay close to Luke but smiling at Ashton softly behind her pacifier.

“You can’t really tell but she’s smiling at you.” Luke told Ashton. Luke ran his fingers through her hair as she looked at Ashton, like she was deciding what she thought of him.

“Is she settling in well?” Michael asked, from his spot on the floor where he was still playing with Harper.

“We’re getting there,” You replied. The guys had been getting regular updates since Bella had been home, but you and Luke had been too busy adjusting to your new family to keep them up to date with every little thing. “She’s much more affectionate with us now, and is sleeping much better. It’s up and down, but we’re going in the right direction.”

“That’s good.” Calum replied, watching how Bella looked up at Luke every so often for reassurance. It was clear that she felt safe with him.

“Daddy, can I give Bella her present now?” Harper asked Michael, hoping it would entice her to come and play with them both. Harper was a sociable child, always wanting to make new friends and play with whoever was around — she wanted to be friends with Bella.

“You brought her a present? That’s so sweet, Harper.” You watched as Michael passed Harper her backpack, and she pulled out a small plush dog, similar to the one she had herself.

“Look! It’s a doggy, like mine! And now they can be friends!” She explained excitedly. Bella’s eyes landed on her as the attention was diverted in her direction. “Can I give it to her?”

It made your heart melt at how cautious Harper was being, taking great care not to overwhelm the baby she so badly wanted to get to know.

“Bella, look what Harper has for you.” Luke rubbed her back, coaxing her to look in Harper’s direction. She sucked harder on the pacifier between her lips, not making an effort to move any closer — but Luke spotted the curiosity on her face. “What is it? Shall we see?”

Harper moved closer to the two of them, cautiously handing the stuffed dog out towards her. Bella looked at the object in her hand, still not acknowledging it. Luke kept his hand on her back, so she knew he was there.

“This is for you.” Harper said to her, waiting until Bella held her hand out to take it.

“That’s so kind, Harper! Thank you so much.” Luke used his free arm to pull her into a hug, kissing her forehead. Harper smiled, happily that Bella accepted her gift. “Look, baby. Isn’t he so cute?”

Bella played with the soft toy in her hands, pushing her hands through the soft fur on its head. It took her a moment, but she finally decided that she liked it, hugging it to her chest. A soft chorus of “aww”’s broke out amongst the group as they watched the sweet moment.

“She loves it!” Luke exclaimed. It seemed as though in that moment, Bella decided that the unfamiliar faces weren’t there to hurt her — like she was accepting that she could feel okay around them. She let go of Luke’s leg, stepping forward on wobbly feet as she headed back to her trains. She sat down in front of them, grabbing her favourite one and pushing it around the floor like she always did. She took another in her hands — holding it out to Harper, as an invitation to play.

“She wants to play with you, honey.” Michael told Harper, knowing how relieved everyone in the room was feeling that the day was going well. They so badly wanted to get to know Bella — they knew that had to be patient. It was all a long process.

Harper sat down next to her, accepting the train that Bella held out.

“When does everything become official?” Ashton asked, as Harper and Bella played quietly on the floor in front of you all.

“We can’t apply for the adoption order until she’s been with us for 10 weeks, so we still have a little while to go.” Luke explained, thinking about the legal process they still had to go through before she was an official member of the Hemmings Family. “We’ll have to go to the family court. Our social worker will be there too to share everything we’ve reported to her from Bella’s time with us, and then the judge will hopefully grant us the order and we get full parental responsibility.”

Ashton nodded in understanding.

“It’s all worth it though, right?”

It definitely would be — it already was. Luke didn’t even need to think about the answer, and neither did you. The love you had already felt from Bella over the last month made you grateful for the lifetime you had ahead with her.

***

Until the court granted you and Luke the adoption order for Bella, Sarah was still partly responsible for her. You had kept in frequent contact with her — sharing photos and videos of Bella’s milestones and cute moments to keep her updated.

With the court date coming up in the next few weeks, Sarah wanted to pay another visit to your home. She wasn’t worried, she had made that clear — it was more for reassurance for you and Luke, as well as hearing more about Bella’s progress.

You were intrigued as to how Bella would react to Sarah this time.

The last time had been so soon after first moving in with you that she had missed her so much. Since then, Bella had made a lot of progress, including meeting new people and becoming much more affectionate with both you and Luke. You were hoping Bella wouldn’t get so upset when Sarah had to leave this time.

Bella was sitting, playing with her trains, like she spent a lot of her time doing. Her stuffed dog, known as ‘doggy’ — the gift that Harper so lovingly gave to her when she visited with the guys — sat next to her as she played. She had grown very attached to the stuffed animal to the point where she wouldn’t sleep without him.

A knock at the door diverted her attention from the trains.

“Hello, you two!”

Bella pushed herself up onto her feet at the familiar voice, taking wobbly steps towards the front door where you and Luke greeted her.

“There’s my favourite girl!” Sarah knelt down and opened her arms, gasping when she realised Bella was actually walking towards her. “Look at you walking all by yourself! When did you get so big?”

Bella smiled and wrapped her arms around Sarah’s neck, clearly happy to see her.

“It feels like it’s been so long since we last saw you.” Luke spoke as he closed the front door, inviting Sarah into the lounge with Bella in her arms.

“It does,” Sarah replied, setting Bella down on the ground in the hopes of seeing how she would interact with you and Luke, as well as the several toys scattered around the floor. “I have a feeling I’m about to get some positive updates though.”

You and Luke joined Sarah on the sofa as Bella resumed playing with her toys. Sarah observed her carefully, watching her body language to see if she was comfortable. She seemed content — making her “choo choo” noise as she pushed the trains around in front of her.

“That’s her new favourite game,” Luke explained, a smile on his face as they watched her play. “She’s obsessed with them.”

“Has she had the chance to interact with any other children yet?” Sarah asked, curious to know how Bella responded around other children if she had been around anyone else.

“Yeah, she met my bandmate’s daughter a few weeks ago.” Luke replied. “She’s three, her name is Harper. Bella was really shy around them at first but she warmed up after a little while. Harper gave her the little dog she has next to her there, and she’s grown really attached to that.”

“That’s good to hear.” Sarah replied, nodding as Luke spoke. “Did they play together?”

“Harper tried to play with her favourite train and she wasn’t happy about it at first, but after she came around a little bit they played together without any issues,” You replied, recalling the events from when she first met the guys and Harper. “She’s learning how to share which is really nice.”

As if Bella knew what you were talking about, she stood up with a train in her hand and took it to Luke — as an offer for him to play with her. He obliged, moving to sit on the carpet with her and play like she usually did.

“What is her sleeping pattern like?”

“Definitely a lot better than it was.” Luke informed her. “We give her a bottle before she goes to sleep. Sometimes she wakes up in the middle of the night but not very often, and she’s happy to sleep in her crib.”

“She seems to be doing a lot better, this is all really great to hear.” She assured you, writing notes down in her clipboard that she would need to add to your file. “This will definitely all go in your favour for the adoption order too. How are you feeling about the whole court process?”

It had been something you and Luke had discussed many times — the process of going into court to prove that you could be loving and responsible parents for Bella was a daunting one. The risk of them not granting you the order laid heavy on your hearts, although it was extremely unlikely — especially with the way that Bella had settled in. Sarah would be there to share all the information she had, which was nothing but recommendations for you to get the order.

“Nervous,” Luke responded, turning to talk with Sarah whilst continuing to play with Bella. “We just want everything to be certain now, you know? Even though we know the likelihood of them not granting us the order is low.”

Having the adoption order would mean you and Luke gaining all of the parental rights that you would have had if Bella was your biological daughter. It would also mean Sarah losing her legal responsibility over Bella — even though you were sure she’d keep in touch in the future.

“Absolutely, please don’t worry about that.” Sarah reassured you. She had been through this process many times, enough to know that there would be no reason for you or Luke to be rejected by the court.. The two of you had shown nothing but love towards her, and she was happy and safe in your home. “I’ll make sure the judge sees exactly what’s going on here, okay? That she has a loving and beautiful home with the two of you.”

“Thank you,” Luke smiled, following a sigh of relief. “We really appreciate that.”

“Bella, do you want to help me make dinner?” You asked her, wanting Sarah to see her interacting with you too. It was something you did together to bond with her — she enjoyed helping you out and it was a good chance to spend time together. You and Luke tried to involve her with activities around the house, hoping it would make it feel more like home to her. “Come on, bub.”

You held your hand out to her which she took, toddling along next to you as you headed to the kitchen. Sarah stayed next to Luke, happy to have the chance to talk to him individually. She watched as you picked Bella up, setting her on your hip as you got out the ingredients for her favourite dinner — a pasta bake. She could hear you quietly talking to her, explaining what you needed her to do, and getting her to help you find the ingredients in the fridge. Luke loved watching you together too.

“Have you been referring to each other as ‘mama’ or ‘dada’ in front of her?” Sarah asked. Luke shook his head. The two of you had the conversation about whether to start using that language to refer to each other, so she would pick up on it, but it seemed to soon. The looming worry of the adoption order being rejected hung heavy over your heads, and having her call you mum and dad before she was officially a part of the family was too risky. You didn’t want to confuse her if the worst was to happen.

“We talked about it, but we decided to wait until we got the order.” Luke explained, worried that Sarah would disagree with what you opted to do — especially since she was so sure of you being granted the order. “We just didn’t want to risk her getting used to calling us that for it to go wrong.”

“I understand,” She replied. “I know it’s a worry, but please try not to focus on it. I promise I will do my absolute best, and it’s extremely unlikely that you’ll be rejected. You’re doing a great job, she seems very happy even from what I’ve seen of her so far.”

“Thank you,” He smiled, his heart melting as he spotted you and Bella together in the kitchen — she sat on your hip as you stirred pasta in a pan, her eyes curiously watching everything you were doing. Luke had waited so long for these moments. There was nothing he loved more than seeing you with Bella — seeing her look at you like you were her whole world. Getting to know her over the last eight weeks had been a beautiful experience. He thought touring was the most chaotic part of his life, but since Bella joined your family, he realised he was wrong.

“Thank you so much for having me again.” You handed Sarah her coat as she prepared to leave. With dinner eaten and more discussions over Bella had, it was time for her to go — and you hoped Bella wouldn’t get upset again.

“Of course. Thank you for everything, as always.” Luke spoke. He felt Bella pull on the leg of his trousers, trying to get his attention. She was reaching up to him, mumbling an “up!” behind her pacifier. He happily obliged, resting her in his arms as Sarah stepped outside. Bella asking for Luke’s attention was a good sign. “Shall we say bye, Bella?”

“Bye bye.” She called out quietly from where her head was resting on Luke’s shoulder, lifting a hand to wave at her as she left. Tears welled in your eyes at the sight, thinking back to what happened the last time Sarah visited, and how Bella had reacted to her leaving.

She had made so much progress.

Luke patted her back as she yawned against his shoulder.

“Is it bedtime, baby? Is someone ready for bed?” Luke asked her, kissing her forehead. She needed a bath, pasta sauce ending up smeared all over her hands and soft cheeks.

“Bed?” She replied, rubbing her eyes. She pushed against Luke, looking around for something in particular — you. As soon as her eyes landed on you, she called out again and held her arms out towards you.

“You want me to put you to bed?” You asked, trying not to let any tears slip out again as she tried to get out of Luke's arms to get to you. It was usually his time with her, she seemed to go to him for comfort most of the time and when she wanted someone to play with. It had played on your mind that she seemed to have a stronger bond with him than you. However, all she wanted now was to be in your arms. “Come here, sweet girl. Let’s go have a bath and head to bed, huh?”

Luke felt a sense of relief wash over him as he watched you carry her upstairs, quietly chatting with her as you held her close. He knew you thought a lot about your relationship with her and whether she had bonded with you or not — but as he watched you together, he knew she had. He saw the way you looked at her and the way she looked at you too. He knew she loved you just as much as she loved him too.

Luke worked on cleaning the kitchen from dinner. As he did the dishes, he could hear water splashing from the bath upstairs — he knew you’d be lathering her soft curls with your favourite coconut shampoo, and making bubble beards to hear her sweet laughter. He felt so content. He waited a little longer, before heading up to her nursery, where he could hear your soft voice reading her one of her favourite books. He didn’t want to disturb the moment, but he couldn’t resist peering in.

The sight he was met with made his heart swell.

You were rocking in the soft chair in the corner of her nursery, humming under your breath as Bella fell asleep. Curled up in your arms, her hand clutched on to the neck of his t-shirt that you had borrowed, her eyes were heavy as you rocked her.

Neither of you needed to say anything. The way you both felt in the moment said more than words would be able to.

You thought back to her first week at home, where she would refuse to be held or accept any comfort, and cried until she eventually tired herself out. Moments like these, where she wanted to be rocked to sleep, had seemed like a lifetime away. It had been so difficult at times, more than could be explained, but nothing could’ve prepared you for the overwhelming love you felt towards her.

Luke also noticed the tears lining your eyes.

He couldn’t tell where the tears were coming from. He had noticed a few times over the past few days where you’d gotten emotional, but he had gotten distracted with Bella and you’d been okay again. However, now, he wanted to talk.

“I’ll put her down, and then we can talk, okay?” Luke whispered, his hand landing on your shoulder in a reassuring touch.

You shook your head softly before replying, “it’s okay, I got her.”

You carefully stood from the rocking chair, shifting Bella in your arms so she was pressed against your chest. She stayed asleep, the pacifier in her mouth helping to keep her content as she snoozed. Luke lingered in the hallway, waiting until you’d settled Bella into her crib in your room, tucking her blanket around her body and leaving the door open ajar behind you.

“C’mere.” Luke murmured, holding his arms out for you to slot into as you broke down in tears. He hated the sound of you crying, it always tore his heart into pieces, no matter the situation. He wrapped his arms around you, holding you flush against his chest as you sobbed into his neck. His fingertips ran up and down your back, soothing you by touch as you cried. “Shh, it’s okay honey. I’m right here.”

You tried to catch your breath as you held onto Luke, the faded scent of his cologne that clung to his skin and clothes comforting to your senses. The past eight weeks had been a lot. You hadn't had time to process any of the feelings, as well as hardly speaking to Luke about them. Everything had built up.

“What’s the matter?” Luke asked softly, his finger gently placed underneath your chin, to tilt your face to look at him. His thumbs landed on your cheeks, softly brushing away the tears that had fallen as he looked into your eyes. It made him realise that he hadn’t held you for a while. The two of you had been so focused on Bella, that it seemed as though you had forgotten about each other. “What’s with the tears, gorgeous?”

You didn’t know how to verbalise it, or even where to start.

“I love you,” You whimpered, trying to keep your sobs under control as you looked at him. The beautiful, kind, caring man you were so lucky to call your husband. “I love you and I’m so proud of us. I just… I love Bella so much. And I think she’s starting to love us too.”

His thumb traced your cheekbones, holding your face in his hands but without speaking — he wanted you to get everything out first. He nodded, though. He knew you were right. The two of you had been terrified that Bella wasn’t going to settle in — it wasn’t something you often spoke about, since it scared you both so much. He knew the tears were out of relief.

His nose nudged against yours as he moved his face closer, just needing to be intimate with you. He just wanted to feel close to you, as connected as you always were. His lips gently brushed yours, a sign of the love he didn’t have to speak of to know it was there.

“She does,” He confirmed to you, thinking about the scene he had been met with just moments ago. “You should see the way she looks at you, babe. She adores you. You’re giving her the love that she’s never felt before.”

The wetness of your tears met his fingertips as he wiped them away, his words being everything you needed to hear. The desperation to be a parent that had built up over the last few months and years all seemed to be coming out as you thought about the sweet baby girl fast asleep in your bedroom.

“We are.” You corrected him, trying not to cry even more when you thought about them together. Luke had only become more affectionate and soft in his new role as a parent — one he was always destined to fulfill. “She feels safe with us now, she wants us. You’re amazing, Luke. You’re everything a parent should be. She’s so happy when she’s with you.”

Luke sighed against your lips, closing his eyes momentarily as he tried not to get emotional too.

“You’re going to make me cry with you.” He chuckled, taking a deep breath to calm himself down. “I know it’s been hard. It’s been so much to handle, but look at us now. We waited so long for this, and we did it.”

“It’s not over yet,” You reminded him, not wanting to ruin the loving moment but not being able to forget the looming court date at the back of your mind. “But we’re so close.”

“So close,” He smiled. Every day was a day closer to Bella officially becoming a Hemmings. “We’re getting closer every day.”

***

With just over a week until the court date, Luke was anxious.

Michael’s partner had offered to take you out for the day, knowing you needed to take your mind off of everything just for a few hours — leaving Luke and Michael in charge of Harper and Bella.

“So, how are you holding up?” Michael asked, accepting the beer Luke handed to him as he joined his bandmate on the sofa. Bella had been happy to see Harper, instantly searching out her doggy, the one that matched hers. Harper had been happy to see that Bella loved hers so much.

“Good, man.” Luke replied, his fingertips drumming along the edge of the sofa. A telltale sign of his anxiety that Michael knew too well. “We’re just so close to everything being official now, we’ve waited so long for it.”

Luke couldn’t take his eyes off of Bella as she sat on the floor in front of him, watching as Harper pulled a few of her toys out of her backpack. She was fresh from a nap — cheeks rosy and hair tousled from how she had slept.

“It’s the best feeling though, isn’t it?”

Luke smiled at Michael’s words. He knew exactly what he was talking about.

He loved the little moments. Waking up every morning with her asleep in the crib at the end of his bed was one of his favourite things. Even though he knew she shouldn’t be sleeping in your bed, he savoured the moments where she fell asleep in there accidentally, and he’d be woken by little pyjama covered feet resting against his back. Her cuddles were nothing like he had ever felt before — the love and sweetness she radiated gave him a feeling he was sure he’d never find anywhere else. At bedtime when she was getting sleepy, and she’d go to him for his warm cuddles — it made him melt. He knew she felt safe with him now. Luke loved the way she wanted him to be involved when she played now, too — at first he sat and watched her from a distance, knowing she was content to be alone — but now she’d openly invite him to join her. She had learned how to share, and seemed proud of herself when someone accepted whatever she offered them, whether it was a toy or a piece of her afternoon snack. Her laugh was his favourite sound. She had brought so much happiness to your lives and to your house — she made it a home.

He nodded. “Yeah, it is.”

“I miss having a baby,” Michael admitted as he watched Harper play — he felt as though she was growing older and older with every day that passed. “Even now, when Harper falls asleep on me it still melts my heart. I hope she never grows out of it.”

“I’m sure she won’t. You’re her idol.” Luke replied, knowing it was true — Harper had looked up to Michael ever since she was born. He loved seeing her grow up, and seeing Michael evolve into being a parent.

Harper stood to run to the stairs, remembering that she had left something in one of her coat pockets that she just had to show Bella. Bella wanted to follow — standing up and attempting to chase after her. Although, she wasn’t as steady on her feet as Harper was, and she tripped over the edge of the rug, taking a tumble to the ground.

Luke was instantly out of his seat as he heard her cries. They hurt his heart, not knowing whether she had bumped her head or grazed her knee.

“Oh dear.” He scooped her up straight away, holding her against his chest and gently patting her back like he always did to soothe her. “Shh, you’re alright baby. It’s okay.”

He bounced her in his arms as she calmed down, hiding her face in his neck as she cried.

”Hey, Bella. It’s alright, honey.” He reassured her, running a hand through her hair. He waited until her sobs quietened down into whimpers, before she lifted her head to look up at him. “Where does it hurt, angel? Can you show me?”

She sniffled against his shoulder as she pointed to her knee. He looked to where she was gesturing to, seeing a little red mark from where she had scraped it on the carpet.

“It’s only a little bump, sweetheart.” He reassured her, kissing her damp cheek. He rubbed his thumb over her knee, as if him touching it would make it magically go away. “You’re okay.”

Michael had watched the whole moment between them and he couldn’t help but smile, despite the fact that Bella had hurt herself. He loved seeing Luke in dad mode. A mode that never went away once it started. It had been rough for them all, hearing about your troubles conceiving and then trying to make a decision about how to start a family — they all wanted you and Luke to be happy. Michael knew, from what he had just seen between Luke and Bella, that he was happy.

***

“Do you think we’re gonna get any sleep tonight?”

You spoke quietly, breaking the silence that had settled over the room. It wasn’t uncomfortable — it never was with Luke, not after being in love for so many years — but it was anxious. You both felt it. Tomorrow was going to be a big day.

“I think we should,” Luke replied, turning to look at you, at the other side of the bed. “However, I’m not sure we actually will.”

Bella laid fast asleep, blissfully unaware of how her parents were feeling. Her parents, who after tomorrow, would officially be just that. For some reason, the two of you needed to have her close to you — the crib at the end of your bed wasn’t close enough. She was snug, cuddled up in between the two of you, her feet pressed against Luke’s bare stomach in the awkward position she had fallen asleep in.

“I can’t believe how far she’s come.” You murmured, ever so slightly tracing your finger down her nose and over her cheeks. She squirmed a little at the contact, her hand moving up to touch her face before she settled down again.

“I know,” Luke replied. “Remember when we were scared to even go near her whilst she was asleep? In case she woke up and got upset again.”

You nodded, realising how genuinely relieved you were that she had settled in so well. The nights where she had been inconsolable and wouldn’t sleep as well as pushing you and Luke away were so painful — you were sure you’d never forget them. As she slept soundly in between you both, it made you appreciate how grateful you were for how things had turned out.

“I love her so much.” You whispered, moving a little closer to Luke and resting your head on his shoulder. Even though your lives had changed so much, and you no longer had time for the several date nights you tried to go on every month — your connection to him had never been stronger. The struggles had brought you closer together. “And I love you.”

“I love you too, gorgeous.” He replied, kissing the crown of your head. “Whatever happens, we have each other, right?”

“Always.”

***

“Okay,” You, Luke and Sarah were about to hear the words you had waited a long time to hear. “Looking at everything we have here… it’s safe to say that Isabella has settled into your family very well. Congratulations to you both, you officially are her legal parents.”

You clasped your hand over your mouth to conceal an excited squeal, trying to contain your emotions until you left the courtroom.

Isabella Hemmings.

Sarah was the first to leave the room, after thanking the judge — you and Luke being quick to follow. You couldn’t stop the tears from slipping down your cheeks as Luke wrapped his arm around your shoulders, pulling you into a tight hug. A hug that displayed all of the emotions you had felt ever since deciding you were going to adopt. It had been a rollercoaster of happiness, sadness, uncertainty, but mostly — overwhelming joy. Every emotion had lead to this moment.

“We did it.” You sobbed into his shoulder, not wanting to let go of him.

“Congratulations, you two!” Sarah pulled you both into tight hugs, trying to hold back her own tears. “I know it’s been a long, difficult process but we got here eventually. I could not have hoped for a more loving family for Bella to go to, and I know she’s going to be very happy with you both.”

“Thank you so much for everything.” Luke didn’t know how to show his gratitude. Sarah truly had changed your lives, and her support had gotten you both through the process. “I don’t know how to tell you how appreciative we are. Thank you for bringing her into our lives.”

It was then you heard Bella’s happy squeals.

“Look who’s back, Bella!” Michael exclaimed, trying to keep a hold on her as she squirmed excitedly in his arms. Harper stayed close to her dad, one small hand holding his larger one for reassurance in the unfamiliar surroundings. The court had been daunting for you all, and with not being able to take Bella in with you both — Michael had offered to watch her and to tag along for moral support. Bella had grown attached to Harper and was more than happy to play with her whilst you went through the legal proceedings.

“There’s our sweet girl.” Luke held his arms out and took her from Michael, holding her flush against his chest as he cuddled his daughter. She had been his daughter ever since she was allowed to go home with you both, but now, it was official.

“So I’m guessing everything went well?” Michael asked, already knowing the answer by the elated expression on yours and Luke’s faces.

You nodded, your hand going to cover your face once more as you composed yourself.

“Come here.” Michael chuckled as he pulled you into a warm hug. “I’m so happy for you both. You’re already the best parents to her, she adores you. She’s an angel and you’re going to do the best job at raising her.”

“Thank you, Mike.” You knew he truly was so happy about the situation. You knew he was worried about Luke, when your future as a family was full of uncertainty — all of the guys did, and now, they no longer had to. Your family was finally complete.

“Now, miss Isabella Hemmings,” Luke cooed, tapping her nose to make her giggle as she looked up at him. “Shall we get you home?”

Home. A place that now had a completely different meaning — one that Bella could call her own. When you first met her, she needed you, she needed a home, parents to love her like she deserved to be loved — but little did she know, it was you and Luke who needed her just as much.

Isabella Hemmings.

***

I would really really appreciate it if you could let me know your thoughts on this fic! I worked very hard on it and would appreciate any feedback you have <3 thank you so much for reading and making it this far!

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In The Mountains

A @thesquirtlesquadwrites prompt fill! This time was art from @stargazing-squid (https://stargazing-squid.tumblr.com/post/620384946297733121/fantasy-virgil-d) Masterlist here: https://thesquirtlesquadwrites.tumblr.com/post/624186092886835200/prompt-art

AU: Fantasy Pairings: Dukexiety, Logince Words: 3483 Warnings: Anxious virgil thoughts, a few swears, dead animal, attempt at a fight. Anything else, please let me know!

Summary: Virgil Snow runs away to the mountains to live in safety with his friend. However, two adventurers hear of a beast living in said mountains and drop by.

--

Virgil Snow cautiously opened an eye, glancing around the bedroom. He listened intently for a moment, noting that all the other occupants’ breathing were slow, likely meaning they were in a deep sleep. His heart began to race as he slowly moved the sheets from his body.

He was fully dressed, seemingly ready to just walk out of the home at a moment’s notice. Virgil, being as stealthy as he could, moved to sit on the edge of his mattress. He reached down and began to slip on his boots. Halfway into getting on his second shoe, one of the others shifted in their sleep causing Virgil’s entire body to tense up. He stopped mid action, hands hovering just above the boot still on the floor. He didn’t continue until he was sure that no one had woken up and caught him. It was only once he had both of his feet firmly placed on the ground that Virgil dared to attempt to stand.

Once upright, Virgil took a specific pathway through the room towards the door. His steps would have seemed utterly nonsensical to an observer, but Virgil had planned this for weeks. He was avoiding as many of the loud creaking floorboards as he could, turning his head sharply to look over the others asleep in their beds to ensure he was not caught. Finally, he reached the door and slipped out into the hallway.

This didn’t mean Virgil could relax just yet. He continued his cautious trek through the hallway and down the stairs, placing his feet ever so slowly in order to be sure that he would make the least amount of noise possible. It was only once he was at the grand entrance doors that Virgil allow himself to pause and breathe. He glanced behind him into the dark, seemingly checking to see if he’d been followed. Virgil shook his head to clear the thoughts before swiftly grabbed a cloak from the hooks beside the door and carefully turned the handle. The large doors creaked a little as Virgil opened them with tiny movements, thankfully it wasn’t too loud and no one in the building seemed to notice. He was able to slip through the smallest gap, escaping into the street outside.

Virgil tugged the cloak closer around himself as he began to walk with purpose. He held his head high in order to look as though he hadn’t just snuck out of his practically prison-like home. Virgil made his way to the edge of town and a little ways into the forest before stopping. He turned to look at the town behind him, a small tug of loss pulling at his heart for a brief moment.

That feeling was quickly dismissed as Virgil’s eyes settled on the town centre. It was blooming with light from the torches and large fire at the centre. He could just about make out small figures moving around, carrying pieces of logs in order to set something up. His stomach churned and he felt as though he might be sick. With a swish of the cloak and a scowl on his face, Virgil continued his trek into the forest, his burning passion to get far away from the town renewed. He only allowed himself one more glance back before it disappeared from his sight.

Virgil walked through the night, only stopping once or twice to rest. He’d long since diverged from the naturally worn path that led through the forest, now only following his intuition and memory. The relative silence gave him a lot of time to think. He thought back to the people he’d just left in that house, what fate they would meet once the sun rose and they were surrounded by the angry people of the village. How most of them would be thrown into the town’s cold jail cells, awaiting their inevitable fate, even though none of them deserved it. The townspeople were simply far too paranoid.

A small gnawing guilt ate at his mind as the sun began to rise through the trees. Virgil could have warned them all, but that could have created suspicion. Too many of them may have tried to run for it immediately and Virgil wouldn’t have been able to get away. It was a large price to pay for his freedom, but ultimately it was Virgil’s choice and burden to bear.

The sun was finally up in the sky as the trees began to thin out and Virgil emerged from the forest, only to be greeted by the rocky cliff face before him. Deciding he was in a safe enough spot, he settled at the base of the mountain to rest for a moment. Virgil pulled out a small bag of food and curled into the cape as he ate. His senses were on high alert, as every sound had his eyes darting to its general location. Despite his stay being far from relaxing, the small meal and time spent sat down refreshed Virgil enough for him to begin his ascent.

It felt like the climb took him forever. Virgil was finally closing in on his goal just as the sky began to be tinted orange. His chest heaved as he leant against the rock, eyes fixated on the cave entrance just a small walk from where he was. “Just a little further… then I can relax.” Virgil whispered to himself, convincing his burning legs to carry him along the last few feet.

Upon breaching the cave, Virgil felt the worry that had been plaguing him since he’d opened his eyes back in the bed in town start to dissipate. Even when he heard a loud rumbling and thumping steps approaching him, Virgil simply stood with his weight against the rock walls.

“Who dares approach my dwelling?” came a deep voice further into the cave, its owner shrouded in darkness still.

“It’s just me. You can stop that whole voice thing…” Virgil responded, still breathing heavily from exhaustion.

“Virgil?” a lizard-like head poked itself out of the darkness, followed shortly by several other identical heads. All of their eyes peered down at Virgil with surprise. The first head opened its mouth to speak, “I wasn’t expecting you today. One second.” The heads retracted back into the darkness followed by an odd squelching sound.

Virgil slid down onto the floor, head leant back against the cool rock wall, sighing in relief as the pressure was taken off of his feet. He seemed far too unphased by the disgusting sounds coming from within the darkness of the cave. He only turned his head back towards where the creature had been once the sound turned into footsteps but made no effort to get up onto his feet. “Finally…” he muttered under his breath.

A human figure stepped out into the light, adjusting his clothes as he approached Virgil, “So, what can I do for you today, Virgil?”

The villager in question turned his gaze down to the cave floor, taking a heavy breath. “Well… uh… can I stay with you, here?”

“Why on earth would you want to stay here? Don’t be ridiculous, Virgil. We have had this discussion before, and I thought I was very clear; I do not want you to be throwing your lif-”

“I’m serious, Logan. They were going to fucking burn me.”

Logan’s eyes widened in shock; his mouth left hanging open on the last word he’d attempted to say. He stared at Virgil for a couple of seconds, letting the words sink in before his eyes blazed in rage. “Why?” Logan asked, his voice eerily calm.

Virgil sighed and rolled a small pebble around to distract himself a little, “Something about me being a witch or something? I don’t know where they got that idea…” He frowned.

“Alright. Come with me.” Logan turned sharply on his heel and started to walk further into the cave. Virgil had to scramble to his feet and jog after him, so he wasn’t left behind.

It took a few months for them both to really become comfortable with their new situation; Virgil needed the time to adapt to living in a cave while Logan needed to get used to sharing said cave with another person. They did work together exceedingly well, though. Virgil managed to get Logan down the mountain every once in a while, allowing them both to go fetch supplies from another nearby village.

However, tales of a missing witch boy spread from village to village, along with rumours of a beast living in the mountains. Somehow, both ended up weaving together to create a tale of a witch and his beastly companion. The story spread far and wide, eventually reaching the ears of an adventurers’ guild.

They were asked if anyone could attempt to scale the mountain and find the beast and the witch before they attacked. Only two offered their services…

---

The pair of adventurers stood at the base of the mountain, staring up at its rocky walls. Both were clad in expensive looking garb, though one of them looked far more tattered than the other. As the more put-together one seemed to be working out the best route for them to take in order to reach the beast’s cave, the other saw something over at the boulder to their left and went off to follow it.

“…and I think we should get up there by sundown. Let us- Remus. Where did you go? We don’t have time for you to get distracted today!” The one planning pouted, looking all around for his travelling companion.

“Over here, brother!” Remus called out, waving his arm from around the boulder separating them.

“What are you doing? Like I just said, we don’t have time for-”

The adventurer stopped dead in his tracks. He stared at Remus, who held the carcass of a dead animal in his hand.

“We were running low on food, so I caught us something!” Remus grinned, holding it further into his brother’s personal space. When the other backed away, Remus simply shrugged and threw it into his satchel, “You have no trouble seeing it once it’s cooked, Roman.” He said with an air of confidence, as though he’d won some ongoing argument.

Roman rolled his eyes, “It is far less disgusting and wet once it’s cooked. It also doesn’t fully resemble its animal-self at that point. Anyway, that’s not what we’re here for! Start climbing.” Roman practically threw himself against the rockface, reaching for the first hand and footholds he’d identified.

The brothers continued to bicker endlessly over the dead animal as they climbed, only stopping for a short rest halfway up to their goal.

“I’m simply saying, I don’t like to see the dead eyes, Remus. Is that so wrong?!” Roman sneered as he clambered up onto the next ledge. He looked down to see his brother just a few footholds behind, looking up at him with a judgemental raised eyebrow. “Just get up here already. The quicker we get this done, the quicker I can get away from your bloody animal sack.” Roman sniffed haughtily.

Remus crawled onto the ledge with little grace, “You won’t be saying that when you get hungry!” He said in a sing-song voice, teasing his brother. It gained him a glare, which made Remus grin. His attention was ripped away by something behind Roman, “Is that the cave?!” He called out, running over to the closest opening in the mountain.

“Most likely. And keep your voice down. Did you forget about the monster that’s here? The one we’re here for?” Roman hissed, smacking Remus on the back of his head.

“Hey! That hurt!” Remus shrieked, his voice echoing through the cave.

“Shut up! It’ll hear us!” Roman responded, his voice rising.

“If you didn’t hit me, I wouldn’t have said anything!”

“Lies! You would have yelled something no matter what!”

“Would not have!”

“Yes, you would!”

A deep growl and the heavy sound of footsteps had the brothers pausing their argument. They both turned their attention to the cave, finding it now to be housing a large creature with multiple identical heads, all of them staring down at the brothers with something akin to disdain. “Who dares approach my dwelling?” the beast rumbled.

Roman, without missing a beat, grabbed the hilt of his sword and wrenched it from its sheath. He pointed it directly towards the monster, “We are here to slay you, wretched beast! No more shall you dwell here and disturb the villagers of the fair town below!” Remus snorted in amusement, which had Roman’s focus briefly diverting to glare at him. The beast took the opportunity and went for Roman.

All of the heads dived towards the distracted adventurer, seemingly going to attack him. Roman was unable to react in time but started the motion of swinging his sword anyway. His arm reeled back and then swung forward, a loud yell accompanying the motion. Only… when he completed it, the sword was not in his grip. “What? Where did..?” He looked up and saw his weapon in the beast’s mouths – two of them, to be precise.

“Release my sword at once!” Roman demanded, trying his best to intimidate the large creature. The beast simply looked down at him, stoic and unamused.

“So, what happened to being the best beast hunter in the kingdom, Roman?” Remus jeered. His hands were resting on his hips as he sauntered forward to join his brother, one coming up to rest on Roman’s shoulder. “Guess it’s my turn!” He said with an unhinged grin, reaching for his mace and sprinting directly towards the creature. Remus raised the weapon above his head, ready to swing it down upon the beast’s body, but it was yanked from his grip as he brought his arms down. Remus stared down at his hands in surprise for a moment, before finding himself flying back towards the cave entrance after being hit in the gut by something he didn’t have the chance to see.

“Ha! Now who looks stupid?” Roman said with a prideful grin as he watched his brother awkwardly get back to his feet. He did turn his attention back to the monster before him after a second of basking in the glory of Remus getting his comeuppance. “What do you intend to do with us now, foul beast!” Roman pointed his finger accusingly.

“People actually still say that?” A new voice sounded from nearby the creature.

“Who said that?!” Roman called out, eyes darting around the darkness as he readied himself for an attack.

“I did.” A cloaked man casually stepped into the light, the hood hanging far over his face.

“You. Get back.” One of the unoccupied heads of the creature lowered and grabbed the back of the man’s cloak, attempting to drag him back into the safety of the darkness.

“Hey! L! Get off me! Stop!”

Roman watched, utterly baffled by the sight before him. It reminded him of how he and Remus would be corralled by their mother when they were younger, dragging them inside their home before night fell.

“Ugh, fine.” The cape was unclasped and fell away, leaving the man visible. He seemed to have a strange aura around him, though nothing that seemed to suggest that he was a threat.

“Virgil! Get back in the cave now.”

“You’re not my mother. I fucking helped you, okay? Look!” Virgil held up Remus’ weapon, a length of rope still wrapped around part of it, giving a slight bit of context as to how the man had managed to get it from the adventurer’s grip.

The odd cave-dwelling pair continued to bicker like children until Roman intervened, “What is going on here? Do you two live here together or something?”

Virgil snapped his head back over to the adventurers, remembering they were both there. He seemed to shy away, almost disappearing back behind the monster. The creature, looking down and seeing that both brothers were far from a threat at this point as they were unarmed and both him and Virgil had their weapons, simply sighed. “One moment.”

Before their eyes, the creature began to shrink. The necks retracted back into the body; most of the heads were practically absorbed into it. The body also began to shrink in size, becoming slimmer and bipedal. The skin changed from a deep green to a sickly shade before turning into something far more human-like. All of this was accompanied by a rather revolting symphony of sounds that made Roman want to plug his ears. Once it was all over, a rather handsome human man was left standing beside Virgil, Roman’s sword in hand. He seemed poised and ready, as if he knew how to handle the weapon.

“That was fantastic! Do it again!” Remus yelled, clapping his hands excitedly.

The transformed man furrowed his brow in confusion for a second before approaching the two intruders. He stopped a few paces away, sword still gripped tightly. “Shall we start over?”

“Sure! I’m Remus, this is Roman. Who are you?” Remus gestured to his brother.

“My name is Logan. As you can obviously tell, I am the ‘monster’ that lives here. Virgil sought safety after the town below branded him a witch and so he lives with me here.” Logan casually explained.

“I mean, he gives witchy vibes.” Remus wiggled his fingers playfully whilst doing his best impression of a witch’s cackle, causing Virgil to glare and grip his own stolen weapon tighter.

“Now that we are acquainted, how about we make a deal?” Logan offered.

“Ooooo, what kind of deal?”

“You two leave us alone and tell the townspeople that you managed to chase the beast of the mountain away. In return, we shall give your weapons back and I shall not be forced to take your lives.” Logan said simply.

Silence followed his suggestion. Logan and Virgil simply looked towards the brothers expectantly, whilst Remus was almost frozen with his wide grin and Roman was still in shock. Then something seemed to snap.

“You can’t just say that!” Roman cried, gesturing frantically.

“Oh? And why not?” Logan asked, the picture of calm.

Roman spluttered, eyes wide and wild, “BECAUSE! It’s not normal!”

Virgil and Logan shared a look before returning their gaze to the adventuring brothers, “You do realise that one of us is a shapeshifting hydra, right?” Virgil deadpanned.

Roman opened and closed his mouth, as he really didn’t have a response to that. As he was about to almost rip his hair out in frustration at the absolutely absurd situation he was in, Remus rested a hand on his shoulder. “We’ll do just that. Except for one little detail!”

Logan’s eyes narrowed, “What is it?”

“I wanna come back here!”

That shocked the cave dwellers. “But why?” Virgil asked first, his grip on Remus’ mace weakening causing it to tilt further towards the floor.

“Because you’re cute and I wanna see you.” Remus said to Virgil with a smile, as though it were no different than discussing the time of day.

Virgil blushed harshly. He fumbled with his words for a moment before snapping his mouth shut and saying nothing. He hid further behind Logan, not giving the adventurer a negative to his request.

It took a few more moments before Logan sighed once more, “I suppose we can accommodate a visitor every now and then. But, you must be sure to not get followed.”

“Done!” Remus nodded, “Oh, can I have that back?” He pointed to his mace, still weakly held in Virgil’s grip. He ducked when it was thrown towards him by Virgil, who then turned and wandered off into the cave, still a flustered mess. “Thanks!” Remus called out before turning and heading out of the cave.

That left Roman and Logan at a standstill. They both stared at each other for a few more tense seconds before the shapeshifter approached, sword hilt forward towards Roman. “Here. I believe this is yours.”

“Oh, uh… thanks?” Roman cautiously took it from Logan’s grasp, sheathing it quickly so as not to give the impression that he wanted another fight.

“Roman! Come on! We don’t have all day! Gotta get back to town, remember?” Remus called from back at the ledge.

The adventurer glanced over his shoulder before starting to walk out of the cave, “Uh… well, I guess this is goodbye?” He sounded so unsure of himself, which only had the shapeshifter snorting in amusement.

“The amendment to our agreement can extend to you, if you so choose.” Logan offered plainly.

Roman gave Logan a sceptical look before a small smile grew on his lips, “It sounds as though you desire to see me again…”

“Perhaps.”

“Then I suppose it shall be goodbye for now then.” Roman flirtatiously winked before heading out and over to his brother, his confidence renewed.

---

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[isabilightwood]

The Problem with Authority - Chapter 1

CQL!Verse, Wangxian and Yanqing, canon divergence with Qin Su sacrifice summoning JYL after Jin Rusong’s death. JYL teams up with NHS to fix things, starting with bringing back WWX. Wen Qing is alive because I said so, and LWJ gets in the way of plotting because he’s a romantic.

See my self reblog for the AO3 link/additional tags and warnings

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The problem with authority is that if you leave it lying around, others will take it. — Yoon Ha Lee, Ninefox Gambit

Qin Su was tired of the constant hovering.

Every time she set foot outside her own rooms, she was beset by disciples and the wives of subordinates, telling her over and over how very sorry they were.

It was all bullshit.

Fake, social climbing schemers, who were more concerned with the fact that Jin Guangshan’s legitimate grandson was once again the sect heir, than sorry for the death of her son. Her A-Song.

They expected her to sob constantly, to wail and tear her hair from her scalp. That they could comfort Qin Su by repeating the same trite, cloying words day-by-day. Earn a little status out of tragedy. If Qin Su had to listen to one more apology, she was going to be sick all other the offending madam’s embroidery hoop.

It was true that she still couldn’t go a day without crumbling into tears. But mostly, she was numb. Exhausted, in more ways than one. She wanted to go to sleep, and wake with her son tucked safely into bed, or not wake up at all.

The private treasury was the only place where she could be certain she would not be disturbed. Even in her own bedroom, it would only be so long before a maid was sent to find her. Only she and her husband could open the hidden entrance to the vault. Only in the treasury, could she be alone, to find something to distract herself, however briefly, from the avalanche of her grief.

There were still many items that had been claimed by her deceased father-in-law after the war that had not been cataloged. Priceless relics and weapons and irreplaceable texts alike sat neglected in trunks. Jin Guangshan had cared only for possession, occasionally touting one item or another out to show off. Ten months after A-Yao’s succession, shelves continued to sit empty. Neither she nor A-Yao had found the time, busy keeping everything running smoothly, as he made bids for projects he called progress with the gleam in his eyes that had first made her chase after him. Back when he seemed flattered by her attention, interested in her as more than a friend or colleague.

Qin Su herself managed the internal minutiae of the Sect and oversaw disciple training. The latter would traditionally fall to the Head Disciple, but they had lost one after another. The woman who had been intended to aid Jin Zixuan had resigned over some disagreement before his death. Her replacement, a second or third cousin to the main Jin Clan, married out to the leader of the Fengyang Hua Sect, a growing sect that bordered Gusu and Lanling. Their replacement died at Nightless City, along with the next dozen or so disciples in line. And so Qin Su was free to manage the training as she wished.

Or had been, until she was asked to take a step back from training, for fear her grief would destabilize her qi. It was true that she had been unable to focus. However, stewing in the unending reminders that she would never hold A-Song in her arms again was no help. Attending to her duties as a hostess only made it worse.

Sorting the looted relics was mindless work, that required none of the focus she had lacked for the forty-one days since A-Song’s death. But it was something to occupy her hands, and some small part of her thoughts.

She began with the books that day, sorting into titles that were common and could be sold, those that needed to be repaired, and those to dangerous to be held anywhere but the treasury. Qin Su moved to start a new pile, for useful, rare texts that should be copied, on a table, and a disorganized pile of notes and notebooks caught her eye.

It was the disorganization that stood out. A-Yao never left anything out like that. He must have been called away, but if he returned and saw it, that would trigger his own flood of tears.  Qin Su had heard him sobbing, late into the night, from the next room over. But each morning, he greeted his work with his habitual dedication, no matter how puffy his eyes, or how little he’d slept. A-Yao would never forgive himself if his work was delayed by his composure crumbling over a small thing out of place.

She picked up the papers, intending only to organize them into an even stack, and place them evenly between the notebooks. But their subject caught her attention.

A circular array was drawn on each paper. Identical, to her unpracticed eyes, with varied notes printed in precise calligraphy in different locations on each page.

Qin Su had always focused on the sword, leaving talismans to those with innovative minds yet weaker cores, like her husband. Yet this array made her look twice.

Sacrifice Summon was written at the top of the first page, the one with the least writing. The soul of the caster is permanently exchanged for that of a chosen spirit or ghost, fully resurrecting the deceased. It was a complex design, meant to drawn in the blood of the caster.

Voices, from the other side of the portal. A-Yao must have wanted to show an item from the vault to a guest. Her heartbeat sped up, her hands shaking as she dropped the papers back onto the table.

The last thing Qin Su wanted was to have to greet her husband’s guests, while he smiled his disappointment in her for shirking her duties.

She raised the tablecloth and ducked beneath, knocking one of the papers off the table as she did so. Catching it, she pulled it to her chest, dropping the cloth back into place just in time. It was dark in the small space, and stuffy. Her heart hammered hard enough Qin Su felt certain it must be audible throughout the room. But her presence was not discovered, and so Qin Su did not have to answer as to why Jin-furen was hiding from her own husband.

“The remainder of the He Clan has been dealt with.” Su Minshan reported. His voice was easily identifiable from the obsequiousness with which he always treated her husband. She’d asked A-Yao what he saw in him once, and he’d flashed his dimples at her and said, unfaltering loyalty is a trait I cannot afford to lose. So Qin Su tolerated Su Minshan, though he made her skin crawl. And made certain never to be caught alone with him. “Xue Yang tracked them down to the last man.”

Why he kept Xue Yang around, on the other hand, was a mystery.

“Good, that’s good,” A-Yao said. Never shy of heaping praise on his subordinates, he would be smiling up at the other man. “Tell me, what did Xue Yang bring back with him?”

“A few urchins, from town. He said they were his payment for leaving the bodies alone.” Su Minshan scoffed, disgusted.

It didn’t sound like Xue Yang had brought the children to become disciples.

There was the slap of a forehead hitting a palm. A-Yao’s voice was slightly muffled as he gave an exasperated sigh. “I told him he could experiment with animals or dead bodies or not at all. Especially not children.” There was the slightest break in his voice at the word children. “Xue Yang has outlived his usefulness. Have him disposed of and left somewhere remote.”

The command was delivered coldly, casually. He sounded nothing like the warm, if more distant than Qin Su had initially expected, husband she knew.

“Yes, Zongzhu.” A pair of disciples said, their footsteps receding as they took their leave.

“Your research is not completed, is it?” Su Minshan asked, once they were gone.

“I have better means now. My dear younger brother is eager to please, and will not dismember the test animals for kicks and giggles.” A-Yao spoke as though this was an ongoing discussion, yet Qin Su, his wife, had never heard a whisper of research on animals before that day. Only of field testing of the Yiling Patriarch’s inventions. “Or decide to run tests on townspeople and dismember them, too.”

Just what had her husband been allowing Xue Yang to do? It seemed impossible that flighty little Mo Xuanyu could achieve it, whatever it was.

“Another headache eliminated, then.” Su Minshan said. “That’s nearly all the most dangerous ones out of the way.”

There was a weighted pause before A-Yao replied, incongruously. “I did love my son, you know.”

“I did not mean to imply otherwise.” Su Minshan rushed to assure him. “I am deeply sorry this step was necessary.”

Step? What was he implying about A-Song?

“If only that woman had told you the truth earlier.” Su Minshan snarled. “Keeping it a secret while her daughter courted her own half-brother? What a selfish bitch.”

What? Qin Su clapped her hands over her mouth, stifling a choked gasp.

“Now, Minshan, please. You remember what my father was like. We were all of us his victims. A-Su, me, and both of our mothers.” For the first time, Qin Su understood what Lianfang-zun’s detractors meant when they said he dripped insincerity. “Ultimately, A-Song’s death can be placed at his feet.”

But A-Song was murdered after Jin Guangshan died, she thought stupidly. Utterly frozen in place, the short, harsh pants of her breath the only sign she had not just been dropped into hell. The two men spoke for a few more minutes, but Qin Su didn’t hear a word.

It was some time after they left that Qin Su moved, her stiff joints causing her to fall onto her side on the edge of the tablecloth.

How was she ever supposed to face the court, knowing what she did now? Look her half-brother in the face without screaming?

The honorable thing would be to expose him, and to then take her own life to restore her own honor.

She couldn’t. She couldn’t do that to her father, to her older siblings. Half-siblings, now, she supposed, with a crazed giggle. The only real siblings, the only real father Qin Su would ever have. It would be better if they never knew what had happened to their mother. To her.

But she couldn’t carry on as she had, either.

The forgotten paper crinkled in her hands. The Sacrifice Summon. Exchanging her life for another’s.

Was that the solution she was searching for? Could she?

Qin Su remembered her husband’s - her brother’s voice saying especially not children. Only breaths before declaring his own son’s death necessary.

Her A-Song was lost forever.

There was, however, another child under Lianfang-zun’s care. Another mother whose son was not lost, but who had nevertheless lost the chance to see him grow. If Qin Su exchanged her life for that woman’s, perhaps her soul would pass on quickly enough to find A-Song in another life.

Jiang Yanli would see Jin Ling grow up safely, ensure Lianfang-zun did not keep the power he had married his own sister and murdered his own son to secure.

That would be best for everyone.

Qin Su shakily extracted herself from beneath the table, returning to the one room she could be certain Lianfang-zun would never enter.

Now she knew why.

Locking the door to her room, Qin Su emptied what little was in her stomach into the chamber pot. When she was through, she began to draw the array.

 The first thing Jiang Yanli noticed was the silence. She had been on the battlefield at Nightless City, pushed A-Xian aside, and a sword went through her heart —

She had been dead. She was certain.

Oh, A-Xian. What did you do?

Slowly, Jiang Yanli sat up. She was sprawled on the floor of a well-appointed lady’s bedroom. In Koi Tower, by the color scheme, but its occupant had uncommon taste. Rather than gilded everything, there were accents of gold on the drapery and to emphasize ink paintings of the ocean and a palace she did not recognize.

There was also the matter of the array of blood that surrounded her. Demonic cultivation, which only supported her certainty that A-Xian was involved. But where was he? And if she was in Koi Tower, where was her son?

Yunmeng, something inside her whispered. Though she could not explain why, she knew it was true.

Checking herself for cuts, she found a gash across the palm of her hand. But it was already sealing, far faster than Jiang Yanli had healed from so much as a paper cut before her death.

She wasn’t an expert in raising the dead like her brother, but Jiang Yanli was fairly certain fierce corpses did not work that way. At the very least, she should have been bleeding black. Yet her blood was as red as ever.

Getting to her feet, she started to inspect the room for clues. On the way to the desk, she passed a mirror. Her gaze skipped past a mirror. And snapped back.

It was not Jiang Yanli’s face that looked back.

This woman’s face was rounder and softer than her own. Pretty, with a natural pink in her cheeks where Jiang Yanli’s had always had to be painted on, due to the frequency with which she lost her breath and grew dizzy. There, too, was a hint of the agelessness that came with a fully developed golden core. With a feeling of foreboding, Jiang Yanli felt along her meridians until she reached her core. No longer a weak, underdeveloped thing due to her inability to practice the heavily physical Jiang techniques, it shone bright and strong.

That was a point against this being A-Xian’s doing. He wouldn’t have stolen her a body, when he could simply bring back her own.

Why am I alive? Asked a voice in her head.

That would have been a reasonable question. Only it wasn’t Jiang Yanli thinking it.

Maybe resurrection came with the ability to understand spirits. The results were entirely untested, so it was possible. Yet the voice seemed certain it was alive. If her current state was due to demonic cultivation, she might as well do what A-Xian would: experiment.

“I could ask you the same question.” Jiang Yanli told the voice.

Jiang Yanli? It worked! But why am I in your head?

“Are you the one who brought me back?”  She tilted her head back, trying to place the way the voice made her head feel. Almost like the moment at the start of meditation when she began to forget her body to focus on her spirit, but with a disconnect keeping her grounded.

Yes. And then, I can hear your thoughts, the voice said, you don’t need to speak out loud.

That was disconcerting. Is this your body? She thought at the voice.

Yes. The voice said. Stop calling me that. I’m Qin Su.

Strangely, it was a relief to have a name. It made Qin Su feel more real than anything else in this surreal afterlife. So it would be more accurate to say I’m in your head. Am I possessing you?

It was supposed to be an exchange. My soul for yours.

Well clearly, it hadn’t worked that way.

Responding to her unformed question, the woman continued. The array is on the desk.

This… It was obviously A-Xian’s work, copied out by a more careful hand. But it looked incomplete, a half-developed first draft or his scattered notes on an older text that he could always piece back together perfectly, but left out crucial details for anyone else. Utterly unlike the labeled, if nearly illegible, minutiae on his complete work. Jiang Yanli would never have cast an array with so little information. Especially not one of A-Xian’s.

I didn’t know the Yiling Patriarch. And I wasn’t exactly thinking clearly.

No, she supposed not. Anyone casting this array would have to be desperate.

Everything fell apart and I just… used what I had on hand. There was the impression of a shrug, like her mind contorting itself into a new shape. My impulse decisions always have terrible consequences. That’s how I ended up pregnant and marrying the last person in the world I should have. Qin Su gave a short, harsh burst of hysterical laughter, startling Jiang Yanli into making the same noise aloud.

Telling whoever this abusive asshole was that her husband had died only a week ago, and she was certainly not performing any marital duties could wait until she figured out what Qin Su had done.

There are other pages with more notes in the treasury.

Jiang Yanli sprang to her feet. I’ll need to see them immediately.

She slid open the doors, and came face to face with a maid carrying cleaning supplies. Jiang Yanli quickly shut the doors behind her, so the maid could not catch a glimpse of the blood still staining the floor.

“Oh! Jin-furen.” The maid bowed deeply. “This one apologizes for assuming you would be out.”

It was something of a shock to be addressed by a title that had, from her perspective, belonged to her mother-in-law only yesterday. Jin-furen?

Ah, yes. I’ve been Jin-furen since Jin Guangshan… passed… ten months ago. The word “passed” came with a flash of embarrassment, telling Jiang Yanli enough for her to extrapolate the cause of death.

Jin Guangyao must be Jin-zongzhu then. Strange, he hadn’t seemed the abusive type.

Not abuse. Worse. Qin Su gagged in her mind, making Jiang Yanli do the same.

“Are you all right, Jin-furen?” The maid asked, hovering closer.

At least the gagging gave her an excuse not to allow anyone inside. “I’ll be fine. But please wait to clean until tomorrow. I’m afraid I’m not feeling well. Would you have some soup sent on a tray for my dinner?”

“Of course, Jin-furen.” The maid backed away, bowed, and hurried off.

Jiang Yanli turned to inspect the door, placing her hands on her hips. With Qin Su’s Golden Core, she could likely cast a locking spell. If she knew how, that was. She had always relied on A-Xian’s talismans, many of which he developed specifically for her. Unfortunately, she had none on hand.

That’s easy. Qin Su said. Draw the characters for lock, then modify it with…

It took Jiang Yanli a few tries to draw properly on her new core, but she was able to lock the door against casual entry. No cultivator with a sword would be kept out for long, but they would have to be willing to trespass in Jin-furen’s bedchamber.

The thin flush of victory faded the second she stepped through the treasury portal. Suibian lay on a shelf, visible from the door. A-Xian had not carried his sword for a long time. But he would never have handed it over to the Jin Clan, unless it was directly into Jiang Yanli’s arms. Something had gone terribly wrong.

Qin Su. Why is my A-Xian’s sword in the treasury? Jiang Yanli demanded. The answering silence was deafening. “Qin Su! Tell me why!”

He… died. At Nightless City. Not long after you did. Qin Su’s voice was hesitant, as though confused why she cared.

“No!” She let out a choked sob, clasping a hand over her mouth. A-Xian wasn’t — he couldn’t be —

Didn’t he kill you? I was told —

“No! Never!” A-Xian would never have hurt her. I tried to save him.

Silence, for a moment, other than Jiang Yanli’s own ragged breaths. Then, I’m sorry. I’ve learned a lot of things I believed were lies today. Perhaps what they said about him was too.

They were. A-Xian was bright, and good, and cared too much. He had never been what they thought. Jiang Yanli had not needed to ask to know A-Xuan’s death was a horrible mistake, likely the result of stepping in between his cruel, vindictive cousin and her brother at the wrong moment. If he had meant to kill Jin Zixun, A-Xian had had good reason.

I think anyone who had the misfortune of meeting Jin Zixun considered killing him. Qin Su said wryly.

Jiang Yanli had had those thoughts. She gave a watery giggle that was answered in her head. It was sweet of Qin Su to try to comfort her when she could feel that she was still reeling for her own reasons. The least Jiang Yanli could do in return was get her some answers.

On the table.

She found the stack of diagrams easily, along with a tattered notebook that appeared to contain A-Xian’s original work. Jiang Yanli flipped through that, knowing that unless had both gotten a hold of one of the few people that could read his note-taking scrawl — her, Lan Wangji, and perhaps Wen Qing, who had taken their turns as A-Xian’s sounding board in succession — and convinced them to help details would likely have been missed.

You can read that? Qin Su was incredulous.

Years of practice, she replied. Before Lan Wangji, Jiang Yanli had been the only person who took A-Xian’s inventions seriously, the only person willing to sit and listen while he bounced from idea to idea, eventually solving the problem himself.

The average person would not think it necessary to puzzle out the text under a sketch of Lan Wangji holding a child, assuming it was a caption. When it was, in fact, an absolutely crucial detail. A detail that had made A-Xian conclude the Sacrifice Summon Array should never be used.

There were perhaps a dozen variations on the array. Most worked in a similar way to what Qin Su had intended, summoning a spirit to take the caster’s place. The earliest could not target a specific soul, but A-Xian had worked that out. Luckily, Qin Su had used one of those arrays, allowing Jiang Yanli to be summoned, rather than causing the closest vengeful spirits to battle for her body. The very last caused the caster’s body to be torn apart, and replaced with a copy of the spirit’s own.

But every version had two things in common: a call for revenge, and the destruction of the caster’s soul.

In her mind, Qin Su went perfectly still.

Jiang Yanli had a theory as to why Qin Su’s soul had not been consumed by the array. It had started the job, pulling Jiang Yanli in, but Qin Su had not asked for revenge, and so the array spat most of her back out. What the consequences were, for either of their spirits, she could not begin to guess.

There was a distinctive air of panic to Qin Su’s continued silence.

Qin Su, Jiang Yanli prodded, if this had worked the way it’s written, your soul would have been consumed by it. What could have been worth this?

I didn’t know about that. I didn’t want that.

It didn’t happen. You’re still here. She attempted to reassure Qin Su, wishing there was a way to mentally pat someone on the head. That had always helped calm both her brothers.

I’m still here. Whatever the fuck that means. Qin Su giggled nervously. That wasn’t very ladylike.

I think it’s forgivable, under the circumstances. Jiang Yanli raised a sleeve to cover her smile.

You don’t know the half of it. Qin Su sighed. I didn’t think things like this happened, outside of stories.

Jiang Yanli waited for her to go on, gritting her teeth in response to a wave of bitterness.

Only a few hours ago, I found out my so-called husband is my half-brother and he murdered our son. And now here we are.

Oh. Jiang Yanli could not so much as think of a reassuring response. What the fuck is correct.

“A-Su,” Jin Guangyao said from behind her, before Qin Su could say anything more. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”

[chappedandfadedvds]

Nov 2nd, Monday 14:06

Jens was just on his way to head back to the classroom, after having texted his mom about the left overs in the oven from last night, when a hand pulled him around a corner.

Confused he looked at the shyly smiling round face of the girl, before she got onto her toes and proceeded to kiss him right there and then. Truth be told, it felt fucking good to be kissed and for a moment he reciprocated her advances, openening his lips, so he could feel her tounge against his. It actually was also quite hot to be pushed back against a wall. Out of reflex more than anything, his hands found her waist, but instead of pulling her closer he pushed her slightly away. Breaking them apart.

This was wrong. All of it felt wrong, it dawned on him.

It wasn’t that he didn’t liked her body under his fingers, her soft lips tasting after sweet lip gloss, and her breasts pressing against his chest. In fact he quite enjoyed that. Always had. It was what had gotten him off, just thinking about where else it could lead to. But at the same time, he didn’t want that at all. Not when he spent most his nights nowadays thinking about a face that was all hard edges, and slim, and perfect really. But most importantly not a girl’s.

Shaking his head to get the thoughts out of his mind and the image far, far back into the tiny corner it had crawled out of, he looked at the girl in front of him. She regarded him with a puzzled and expecting look. Strands of dark hair falling into her face.  And who could blame her really, the last time they saw each other, he had his hand up her skirt, while making out on an empty bed, with a promise to maybe have more another time.

„Sorry, but I don’t think, this is gonna be a thing between us.“ He tried, knowing damn well how much of an asshole he sounded. Especially having kissed her back right now. But he just wanted her to get it. Instead she leaned back, looking at him still confused. And slightly angry.

„Are you kidding me? Is that why you didn’t answer my text? I thought this was mutual last time and that you liked it. We don’t have to be a couple to have some fun, wasn’t that what you had said?“

Fuck. He forgot about all of that. To his defense he was drunk, and high. Like really high. That didn’t explain though the text he had gotten, read, never answered and forgotten all about on the same day.

„Camila, I don’t know what to say here. Really it was a party and we had some fun, and you are super pretty and cute and nice, I just...“

„Just, what? Have a girlfriend? Another girl you try to make jealous? A crazy ex?“ She bombarded him with suggestions, that all were wrong, because none of them included Lucas appearing in his life.

„No, I’m just not interested and I’m not going to lead you on. Seriously, I’m sorry.“

She sighed, the dissapointment and sadness appearing in her expression over the realisation that Jens just wasn’t into her. He took his hands off of her waist, as she withdrew hers from his chest to take a larger step back.

„Well, shit. Because I really liked you, you know.“

„Sorry.“ He repeated like a broken record, not sure what else to say to her as she shook her head.

„No, thank you for letting me know at least. And I’m sorry for suddenly attacking you, I guess. A text would have been nice though, nonetheless. Instead of leaving me hanging, wondering what I have done wrong, like an idiot.“

„I’d definitely change that, if I could. I just didn’t think about it as much. It was a simple hook-up.“

„Oh great, that’s exactly what a girl likes to hear.“ She scoffed, a smile on her lips, that never reached the rest of her face being still sad, so fucking sad and it affected him too. He didn’t mean to hurt this girl. Especially her being here for two month, in a country she has never been to before, without family and friends around. He was such an ass.

„Ehm, if you ever need help though, you can ask anytime. You have my number, right?“ Jens tried to be friendly. Not that he expected them to become friends, but just so she wouldn’t think he didn’t care about her feelings in this at all. He wasn’t sure he conveyed that though. Probably not.

„Thanks, but no. I’m good. I don’t think I need that. Well,“ Camila said, grabbing her bag, that Jens now noticed she had thrown next to his feet by the wall behind him. She looked at him a last time, nodding towards him, as a sort of goodbye: „See you around, I guess.“

„See you around.“ He replied, smiling at her and recieving a more genuine smile of her in return, before she vanished down the hallway. He buried his face in his hands for a moment to come back to reality and to this school day. Right. Class would be starting shortly, he should head back like he had planned to do before Camlia appeared.

As he arrived in his classroom, an already too excited Moyo jumped up from his and Robbe’s table, grinning at him from ear to ear.

„Nicely done! Securing yourself the hot spanish exchange student. I just told the others that I saw you two down the hall. Good for you, bro!“

Jens felt his as if a train had just hit him, as he stared at his friend in complete and utter shock. He could only imagine what words Moyo had used to describe the kiss. Always in the dirtiest exaggerations possible. Usually it was funny, but not this time. This couldn’t be happening. Moyo was supposed to be here in this room the whole time. He couldn’t have seen it. Why would he assume that what he had seen was a sign of dating Camila. That is of course if he had even seen anything beside Jens sticking his tounge down her throat. 

His gaze drifted over, finding Robbe and Aaron smirking at him, just as brightly. Of course they would. These two had seen Jens’s hand exploring Camila’s body, before he had directed them both away from the ongoing party. They had just as much tried to convince him to find a girl and try dating again over the last months after the lockdown ended.

He almost didn’t want to look further at all. He didn’t want to see the expression on the one face he had rather kissed in an unoccupied corner of the school’s hallway.

But Lucas didn’t grin at him, he didn’t even looked hurt or pissed. He just watched Jens with a complete neutral face, giving none of his thoughts or feelings away. 

And maybe, just maybe this was even worse.

„Look at him being all shocked we found out.“ Aaron blurted out, amused it sounded like, he guessed. Because Jens couldn’t take his eyes off of Lucas. He was the only important person in his world right now. Especially after yesterday felt like getting somewhere. Jens needed to clear things up, fast.

„I’m not with her. There is absolutely nothing going on between us.“ He stated in the most cliche way. He hated himself for it. All of it was directed towards Lucas, who stared at him just as intensly. Whatever words came out of his mouth, none of them were destined for his best friends, all of them belonged entirely to Lucas. Him alone.

„We kind of hooked up one night at the party, absolutely wasted, and she kind of had it in her head that there was more going on between us, so she pulled me into a kiss. And yes I did kiss her back briefly, but I pushed her away once my brain caught up to it. I told her right away, this was nothing. Because I’m really,“ And now he may just sound a bit desperate, but he simply needed Lucas to understand, „really not interested in her. Not even to just hook up again.“

Jens never got a reply to his frenetic attempt to sort this out, as the teacher just had walked in behind him, telling everyone to find their seats immidiately and pull out their homework from last week.

The bell rung.

So Jens tore his eyes off of the dutch boy, who had wordlessly broken their eye contact first in order to get to his table two rows behind Robbe and his.

Robbe had stopped grinning midway sensing the sincerety in Jens’s speech, possibly noting his inner turmoil too. Unlike Aaron and Moyo  that just nodded along still excited, not believing a word he said. 

He found Robbe had patted his thigh under the table as they had sat down and Jens couldn’t do more then look down on his homework in front of him. He felt sick.

Fuck.

[bow-woahh]

She-Ra Fics Masterlist

(It’s 100% Catradora but hey)

Started: 12/10/19 Last updated: 28/10/20

Multi-chapters:

Catradora —

What drove her insane... (Canon Divergent)(Completed) (4/4)(13k+)(Ao3 only)

There were a lot of things Adora would do that would get to Catra. A lot of things that would make Catra melt inside or combust. Or both. Things that would make her feel this intense feeling in her stomach, these flips, these... butterflies, is what she thought of them as.

Similarly, Adora didn't think she had many weaknesses, but most things Catra would do drove her up the wall. In a good way. In the best way. In a way that made her heart feel like it was about to hop out of her ribcage, that made her feel she was about to faint, from an unfamiliar, yet familiar, dazed dizziness.

Both of them drove each other insane.

Heal me after hurting (Modern AU)(Completed) (3/3)(29k+)(Ao3 only)

A million feelings she’s been fighting off for months threaten to overwhelm her: feelings of deep and utter care; of complete adoration; feelings of hot and harsh hatred; of absolute disdain; and abandonment, definitely abandonment; to confusion, anxiety, all bubbling as she tries to calm herself down; eyes closed, chanting the mantra:

you are in control, you are stronger now.   ___

Catra gets sick and someone unexpected turns up to help.

bloom (just for you) (High School AU)(Ongoing) (8/?)(68k+)(Ao3 only)

She was probably about to tell her to fuck off, though maybe—hopefully—she'd say it nicely. Catra closed her eyes and hoped when she opened them that this whole situation was just a figment of her imagination. Instead, she saw a one word reply. One single word. 

bet.

*

Adora Grayskull is the popular jock, the golden girl, the one that everyone loves. Catra D’riluth is the opposite. Yet despite this, they form an unlikely bond.

One shots:

Catradora —

What (Who) drives her to this? (Canon Divergent)(2k+)(Ao3 only)

Both Catra and Adora are tired. Both Catra and Adora reach a breaking point. Both Catra and Adora need to stop thinking. And when they do what will it drive them to do?

Catra’s Last Day (Canon Divergent)(2k+)(Ao3 only)

Catra has been anticipating this for months now, and now it's finally come - her last day at the Horde.

As the Sun Sets (Canon Compliant - Post S1)(1k+)(Ao3 only)

Watching the sunset was one way to end your day back at the Horde...

damn you, unrequited love (High school AU)(7k+)(Ao3 only)

Unrequited love sucks. That's what both Adora and Catra think.

Don’t sneak into the kitchen (Unless your girlfriend tells you to) (Canon Divergent)(2k+)(Ao3 only)

Catra has a bad habit of getting into mischief and Adora has a bad habit of agreeing to get into mischief with her.

Or

They sneak into a kitchen and make a mess.

As the Petal Falls (Beauty and the Beast AU)(1.5k+)(Ao3 only)

Shadow Weaver comes to kill the beast and take back Adora, who to her knowledge is a hostage there, when she has actually chosen to stay there - with Catra.

If I was perfect (Modern Family AU)(2.5k+)(Ao3 only)

Call it a coincidence, but just as Adora said the word “baby” (for the second time actually), Catra had choked on her own saliva.

How had children not crossed her mind before?

Two Sides Of The Same Coin (Gang AU)(1k+)(Ao3 only)

"Come on, Catra! You know better than to trust the horde!"

"And you know better than to trust the Rebellion!"

"The Horde is manipulating you!"

"At least they don't hide it and do it behind your back!"  

OR AU where the Rebellion is manipulating Adora and she doesn't realise (but Catra does)

I could get used to the sound of her voice (Royalty AU)(3.5k+)(Ao3 only)

Princess Adora was lucky enough for her parents not to marry her to a man. But, Princess Adora didn’t feel lucky in the slightest when she learned her wife to be was a right pain in the backside – or so she thought.

Or

Who knew that all it would take for Princess Adora to fall was her voice?

Fiction will make you think (what if it was real?) (YouTuber AU)(8k+)(Ao3 only)

All of a sudden, a new thought hits her like a train. Why does it matter so much? Image? Catra doesn’t exactly have a good one anyway, and if anything, it would be worse for Adora. But she is already in most of her videos, so clearly Adora doesn’t care either. So what would actually change?

Wait, Catra’s train of thought stops. Why am I thinking about dating Adora anyway?

OR

A YouTuber AU

Perspective (Prison AU)(25.5k+)(Ao3 only)

"Like you caved in Adora, you took the dive, and was it worth it?"

Adora looked at Catra, biting the inside of her cheek.

"I guess not."

Although, Adora couldn't deny that she felt almost lucky to have met someone like Catra, even if it was in here.

OR

Twelve months. Adora had earned herself twelve months in Prison — it was virtually hell on earth. Or it least it should have been, if not for a certain someone.

Sink my teeth to save you (Vampire AU)(1.5k+) — Ao3 link —

“How did...what are you?”

The stranger stroked her chin, pondering something, then said, “Well, I’m the tall dark stranger your parents warned you about," flashing her abnormally sharp fang like teeth, almost in a grin, though it felt more like she was just showing off.

I'll be your crutch to cope (College/Modern AU)(1.5k+) —Ao3 link —

A late night (or early morning) text from Catra’s roommate leads to more than she bargains for.

Do you know any spells to get rid of this thing? (Modern with Magic AU)(2.5k+)—Ao3 link—

“You know, like, spells and stuff, right?” Adora asks, hold a little looser on her wrist.

“Uh...yeah?” Catra replies, baffled.

Or

Catra’s a mage in training and Adora comes to her with a ridiculous request.

Christmas wouldn't be so bad (with you) (Modern Christmas AU)(1.9k+)—Ao3 link—

Catra wants to reject her responsibilities and problems for one night. Though, she can't avoid the one right in front of her for much longer.

As our differences divide us (Canon Divergent )(3.2k+)—Ao3 link—

Adora believes in the Horde. Catra doesn’t.

Or

An AU where Adora (with the sword) stays with the Horde and Catra leaves for the Rebellion.

Lost my heart (now you've taken it back) (Valentine's AU)(1k+)—Ao3 link—

Catra decides to make her first Valentine's with Adora a memorable experience.

Demons hiding underneath (Modern Gang AU)(3.3k+)—Ao3 link —

She kept plummeting deeper and deeper into the once beautiful blue abyss. And the further down she got, the more Adora realised it was closer to darkness than blue. It seemed she would continue falling, falling into the darkness until—

“Adora?”

—

They may be running away, escaping from their problems, but that doesn’t mean Adora can avoid her own too.

Distressing (over you) (Modern Superhero AU)(3.1k+)(Ao3 only)

Wearing her signature smug smirk, she stood, hands on her hips with a knowing look. Despite how many times she'd seen her in the familiar getup before, it somehow always managed to get her stomach lurching: those thigh highs which somehow weren't impractical; the crimson red suit which clung to her body in all the right places (arguably there were no wrong ones); the black sleeves which came up to cover her hands; and the red mask with pointed ears obscuring her face. However, the blue-gold glow of her eyes was still inexplicably Catra. It still captured her essence. At least to Adora.

things you said with clenched fists (Modern AU)(1.5k+)—Ao3 link—

Alone, at loss for words, but still – I've won and I've lost but I've fell and I've fucked it up

Or

An argument which stems from lies, deception and the past.

things you said when you were drunk (Modern AU)(1.6k+)(Ao3 only)

As Catra took her hand, with her mismatched eyes gleaming, and flashing her pearly white teeth in a grin, the smells, the noises of all the people around them dissolved into nothing more than white noise. 

The aftershock (of your touch) (Modern Soulmates AU)(28k+)(Ao3 only)

“When one finds their soulmate, they don’t immediately know that is the case. Some believe it is a way for the universe, for the great First Ones to test our ability to listen to its calling, to let us steer the wheel to our own fates. Others believe it is an act of cruelty—to try our patience, to punish us for being unable to love without any inhibitions. No matter what one believes, it doesn’t rid us of the fact that finding one's other half does not allow for instant gratification.”

—

Catra, jaded by her past, moves to Bright Moon to start a new life, and finds herself growing increasingly closer to her neighbour, Adora. Initially, she's apprehensive, but no matter what she does, something draws her to the girl, and a revelation causes it to make a lot of sense—and none at all.

all the time in the world (Post-Canon)(1k+)—Ao3 link—

In space, it feels like they have all the time in the world. All the time to relearn the new parts of each other, all the time to indulge the old parts of each other, all the time to simply just be.

You have their attention (and I want yours) (Modern AU - Actors)(1.9k+)—Ao3 link—

It’s all made worse when Catra does look in her direction, searching for none other than Adora’s eyes. She sees her sitting there, seething, and all she does is raise an eyebrow, then after a moment, grin. She can tell. And that only makes Adora more agitated as Catra turns back to the crowd and that girl is practically hanging off her arm. Now, Adora really is contemplating going up there, kissing the smirk of Catra’s face where everyone can see.

a regular customer of mine (Modern AU - Bakery)(3.9k)(Ao3 only)

Catra works at a bakery and Adora comes by every day trying to build up the courage to ask her out (unbeknownst to her).

Headcanons + Shorter Works: 

Catradora —

Fate Only Plays a Part (Canon divergent)(Ao3 only)

Adora finds a wounded and almost lifeless Catra in the woods and decides to bring her back to the castle.

I want to be with you when I grow up (Canon Divergent)(Ao3 only)

They are supposed to be fighting- they should be killing each other.

But they never can. And they never will.

Bad Dreams (Canon Divergent)

She tastes like coffee (Modern AU)

I like me better when I'm with you (Modern AU)

Adora's birthday (Canon Divergent)

The Start of Something Wonderful (Canon Divergent) 

Catradora Summer AU (Modern AU)(Snippet)

things you said when we forgave each other (Post-Canon)(Written before S5)

Reunion (S5 speculation)

[princesssarisa]

The feminism of “Wuthering Heights”

Not long ago on Quora, I answered the question of “Is Wuthering Heights a feminist text?” I thought I may as well share it here too, since my similar post on the feminism of Romeo and Juliet has been so popular.

Is Wuthering Heights a feminist text? It’s debatable.

It’s certainly not a work of modern feminism, and just because Emily Brontë was a woman doesn’t mean she lacked internalized misogyny, per se.

From a certain perspective, it can be read as a fairly sexist story. It revolves around a brooding, violent male anti-hero, Heathcliff, who emotionally and physically abuses women (among many other dark deeds), yet whom the reader is still clearly meant to feel some sympathy for. His descent into villainy is at least partly blamed on his beloved Cathy, because she rejected him for a wealthier man. As for Cathy herself, she’s a wild, fiery figure who defies society’s ideals of sweet, passive femininity and wields the chief power in both of her romantic relationships, and yet she’s portrayed as a vain, arrogant, vicious-tempered narcissist, prone to manipulation and hysterics, who emotionally betrays both men. Ultimately she’s “punished” with anguish-induced madness, sickness and death (and implied twenty years of wandering as a miserable waif of a ghost), and from then on she serves to fuel Heathcliff’s “manpain,” with his endless grief being used to stir up pity for him despite all his cruelty. Nor is Heathcliff’s abuse of women the only male-on-female violence to be found. In one scene Hareton Earnshaw slaps the younger Catherine when she insults him (to the approval of narrator Lockwood, who overhears it and thinks her “sauciness” deserved the punishment), yet he’s still portrayed as having a heart of gold under his gruff facade and is given a happy ending where he and Catherine fall in love and become engaged.

And yet…

It’s a story told mostly from a woman’s perspective. The chapters narrated by Lockwood are more of a framing device than anything else – the bulk of the story is narrated by Nelly Dean. And her focus is really more on the young women she serves than on Heathcliff, who sometimes disappears from her narrative for months or years at a time. Heathcliff might be the driving force of the plot as a whole, but it can be argued that the two Catherines are the real protagonists, with Heathcliff as the love interest to the first and the antagonist to the second.

Furthermore, all four principle females are three-dimensional characters. The two Catherines, Nelly Dean and Isabella Linton each have distinct, multilayered personalities and none can be reduced to stereotypes of womanhood. None of them are objectified or sexualized the way even the most “feminist” male author’s female characters tend to be. Nor are any of them meek or passive; in different ways, each one is feisty, sharp-tongued and rebellious. All of them are flawed too (putting women on a pedestal is almost as anti-feminist as vilifying them) yet with the possible exception of the elder Cathy, none of them are treated by the narrative as bad people. At the very least, they’re no worse than the men around them, and even though they suffer for their mistakes, none are portrayed (again, with the possible exception of the elder Cathy) as deserving the bad things that happen to them. Young Catherine and Nelly both receive happy endings, while Isabella’s ending is bittersweet, and none of them need to conform to a societal ideal of womanhood to escape from tragedy.

It’s too bad that most adaptations cut the second half of the book, because without the younger Catherine, the elder Cathy’s portrayal might create the sense that Brontë was condemning high spirits and willfulness in women. But young Catherine, who is portrayed sympathetically and gets a happy ending, is very much like her mother: lively, strong-willed, adventurous, temperamental, and sometimes too proud for her own good. In her ultimate romance with Hareton, as she “civilizes” him and teaches him to read, she arguably takes almost the same dominant role her mother did over Heathcliff in their childhood, though unlike her mother she is willing to listen to him and compromise with him. The fact that during his reading lessons she gives him “smart slaps” when his attention wanders and playfully threatens to pull his hair for his mistakes helps to compensate for the one slap he gave her back when they were “enemies.” (It seems unlikely that their marriage bed will be a tame place.) She earns her hopeful future not by being more passive or ladylike than her mother was, but just by being a kinder, more compassionate person and more willing to recognize her mistakes and grow past them. Hareton contrasts with Heathcliff in much the same way.

Nor, contrary to popular belief, is Heathcliff ever romanticized. His horrific deeds are never excused away and he’s not portrayed as a desirable romantic partner for anyone but the equally fierce Cathy. The very notion that he’s a romantic hero is brutally deconstructed by Isabella’s storyline, as she naively idealizes him and thinks she’s in love with him, but is horribly abused after she marries him and quickly comes to despise him. Brontë might ask us to understand him and pity him, but she never tries to make us love him. He’s a tragic monster.

Nor, unlike in the Hays Code-compliant 1939 film, is Isabella trapped for decades in her miserable marriage. She leaves Heathcliff, escapes to London, and builds a new life for herself and her son Linton. True, she still dies young, but she dies free.

Without being heavy-handed about it, the book also condemns the era’s patriarchal laws and customs that made women powerless. The laws that let husbands abuse their wives (Heathcliff and Isabella), that let fathers-in-law lord over and abuse their daughters-in-law (Heathcliff and Catherine), that prevented daughters from inheriting their fathers’ property in favor of the male next-of-kin (Thrushcross Grange going to Linton Heathcliff instead of to Catherine), that gave unfit fathers custody of their children against the mother’s will (Heathcliff and Linton), and that forced women to depend on marriage to raise their own fortunes and to escape from a toxic family (Cathy).

Yet it’s what little power the women do have within these confines – emotional power – that leads to the hopeful ending. Catherine, with help from Nelly, overcomes her own bitterness and reaches out to Hareton, finally freeing him from Heathcliff’s degrading influence with her friendship and later love. This, combined with the dead Cathy’s ongoing hold over Heathcliff’s psyche, is what makes Heathcliff finally give up on life, with his death bringing peace both to himself and to everyone he terrorized.

Last but not least, let’s discuss Cathy. No, she’s not portrayed as a good person, and yes, her sins are “punished” with brain fever and death. But still, it’s gratifying from a woman’s perspective to see the object of an imposing Byronic anti-hero’s love not be a delicate ingenue whom he controls, but an iron-willed firebrand whose passion equals his own and whom he gladly lets dominate him. And any claim that she’s worse than Heathcliff (as bad as, maybe, but worse?) or that she deserves no sympathy whatsoever smacks of misogyny. Her struggles are very relatable for women who feel torn between rebellion and conformity. This quote sums it up well: “I wish I were a girl again, half savage and hardy, and free”.

As a child she was fully herself: wild, androgynous, barely distinguishable from Heathcliff. But it came at the price of disapproval from her stern father and servant caregivers, and later from her tyrannical brother, who viciously abused Heathcliff and tried to separate them. Then she discovered the world of the Lintons: wealth, status, beautiful clothes, good manners, kindness, affection. It’s so easy to condemn her as a “shallow gold-digger” for giving in to the lure of that world and choosing to marry Edgar instead of Heathcliff. But one glance over her great speeches should reveal that regardless of her other flaws, she’s not a shallow person. With her family and all of society holding up the Lintons and their lifestyle as superior, and when the only alternatives she sees are either staying under Hindley’s brutal thumb (again, remember: for a girl, marriage was the only escape) or starving in poverty as Heathcliff’s wife, it’s understandable that she should give in, even though it means betraying her true self, donning the mask of a proper lady, and rejecting her soul mate. Yet she always knows she really belongs with Heathcliff, not with Edgar, and she tries to have them both by maintaining her “friendship” with Heathcliff while married; before Heathcliff runs away and makes his own fortune, she even plans to help him by sharing Edgar’s wealth with him. But eventually and inevitably, the two men clash and her double life shatters. It’s not just the stress of the love triangle that causes her breakdown, but what it represents: her yearning for freedom while trapped in the confines of upper-class womanhood and knowing what she would loose if she were to choose one over the other. What woman hasn’t struggled with society’s demands of “proper” womanhood and felt torn between wanting to rebel and wanting the benefits of conforming? I don’t think any character who embodies that struggle as powerfully as Cathy can be labeled an anti-feminist character, no matter how deeply flawed she is or how tragically her story ends. The fact that it’s not her failure to be a proper lady that dooms her, but her choice to become one and deny her authentic, wild and androgynous self, can be seen as a particularly feminist statement.

Also, I respectfully disagree with the claim I’ve read that the only purpose of Cathy’s strong will and free spirit is to intoxicate Heathcliff. They’re essential to her entire personal character arc. None of the characters in this complex book are only written to serve another character’s development, male or female.

Is the book feminist in every way by modern standards? No. But does it still have many feminist qualities and themes? Does it speak powerfully to women and empower them in subtle ways? I think it absolutely does.

@theheightsthatwuthered, @astrangechoiceoffavourites, @wuthering-valleys, @incorrectwutheringheightsquotes, @nitrateglow

[nikkzwrites]

Yesterday Once More | Dark Fix-It Fic Series | Chapter 18

A/N: This fic is one that I started with my OC because honestly, I personally didn’t like how season 3 ended. So I am rewriting all of Dark with my OC Annalise Dahlheim. I hope you all like it. Some things will be expanded more on just for more depth to Dark that season 3 kinda skipped over so…. yeah. After this chapter, it will jump to ‘(They Long to Be) Close to You’ chapter 1. The next chapters of this series is just more background information about how this series cycle works and will be released in tandem with the Part Two of the Series. I hope you guys liked Part One!

CW: Canon Typical Triggers: Smoking, Sex, Language, Drugs, Drinking, Death, Violence, Suicide Mentions, Cutting, Violence.

Word Count: 5.8k

[First Chapter] [Previous Chapter] [(They Long to Be) Close to You] [Next Chapter]

It started to snow once more in 2053, Elisabeth knew what this meant. She unburied her box and pulled out the picture of her family along with her beanie. She looked at pictures of herself, Noah, and the baby of her mother. 

The Beginning is the End.

In 2020, Charlotte lay with her daughter watching her sleep in the middle of her and Peter.

And the end is the beginning.

Charlotte stood up to walk out of the room.

Everything is interconnected. Future, past, and present.

Noah looked at his younger version and told him, “I’ve reflected on this moment for many years. My older me wanted to tell me something, but he couldn’t.” He looked at Hanno and told him, “If you knew what I now know, then you would no longer do what you must so I can get to this moment. Me, as I stand here now, cannot exist if you don’t take the same path as I did. We’re not free in what we do, because we are not free in what we desire.”

Magnus and Franziska opened the door. Magnus told them, “Everything is ready.”

Noah nodded to the boy and said, “You must go.”

Hannos nodded and walked into the room followed by Magnus and Franziska.

It was the 27th of June in the year 2020. It was the final day. The older Jonas stared at the clock. He had left Annalise to sleep upstairs. She had been tossing and turning all night so he knew she would still be asleep for some time. He knew what had to be done to prevent all of this from happening again. He opened the box and pulled out the pistol staring at the floor. He sighed, put the gun into his waistband, and walked out of the house determined to have this cycle stopped.

“My future me tried to shut the hole,” Jonas told Claudia, “to reverse it all. He shut the passage, but hadn’t broken the loop. But you said we can change a small part of the equation, so he… So I will be successful next time.” He shook his head, “Then none of this sick shit will ever happen. Mikkel won’t disappear. Michael won’t die.” He looked down then back at her, “Your father won’t die.” He walked towards the wall of radioactive waste, “Big and small things don’t abide by the same laws. Maybe nothing big can be altered.” Jonas grunted as he opened one of the crates, “but small things can.” He opened up his canister and explained, “We’re changing a grain of sand. And with it, the whole world.”

Regina lay in bed staring at the ceiling as her son asked her, “What was Grandma like? I mean, as a mother.”

“Why does that suddenly interest you,” She asked her son.

Bartosz turned his head towards her and said, “She isn’t dead, you know?” He sat on the edge of her bed.

“What do you mean,” she asked her son.

“She was here,” He explained, “Last fall.” He looked out towards the woods, “After Mikkel disappeared. She… She left something here.” Bartosz reached into his pocket and handed a picture to his mother, “For you.” Regina swallowed her pride and used her withering strength to sit up and open it. As she revealed that it was a picture of her and her mother, Bartosz continued, “She said she was sorry and that if she could turn back time, she’d do lots of things differently.” He watched as his mother’s jaw trembled trying to keep all the emotions inside. Bartosz gently grabbed his mother’s head so that he could place a gentle kiss on her forehead. He pulled away and told her, “I’ll be back. I promise.” He left his mother’s side and grabbed his jacket.

“Where are you going,” Regina asked her son.

Bartosz just turned to her and didn’t say anything. He walked out the house on his own mission.

Clausen flicked the search warrant towards Aleksander telling the man what it was. Aleksander looked up. His hair was completely a mess as he stated, “Special conditions apply to the plant.”

Clausen countered, “The judge issued the warrant immediately. I think, given the ongoing legal proceedings against you, he may be interested in what’s to be found there.”

Aleksander looked at him bewildered. He turned and watched as Clausen walked out. The man begged to Woller, “You have to let me out of here.”

“That’s impossible,” Woller relented, “I can’t do that.” He walked away leaving Aleksander there.

Aleksander yelled after him, “You can’t let him onto the site!”

Stranger Jonas banged on the Nielsens’ door. Upon seeing the girl’s face he told her, “Martha, I didn’t want any of this, believe me. Please listen…”

Martha whispered, “What are you doing here?” She pulled him inside quickly, “Come on.” Once inside, she asked, “Why are you here? What do you want?” 

“You have to come with me,” He begged, “Please. It’s my fault everyone dies. It’s all going to blow in a few hours. Annalise is going to try to kill you...”

Martha shook her head, “What?”

He slowly approached her, “Everything starts all over again. The future starts. A new cycle.”

Martha stared at him confused, “What are you talking about?”

“Please… Believe me, please,” The older Jonas begged his old love. He pressed his forehead against hers, “You have to trust me… Please.”

Martha hit his hands and pulled away quickly. She walked to the other side of the room. She started to heavily breathe, “This is wrong.” The girl started to shake her head. Annalise, though mad at her, would never go that far. She hugged herself and started to rub her arms. She shook her head and told him, “We’re wrong. Please leave now.”

The Stranger swallowed hard. He shook his head, “No.” He reached behind him and pulled out the gun. “I can’t let you stay. I saw the both of you die once. I won’t let it happen again.”

Martha begged him, “Jonas, please… Let me go.”

“I can’t,” He told her, “I promised to make this right. I’m making it right.”

There was only six hours left before the apocalypse, Annalise walked under the train tracks. She spotted Franziska and Magnus. She sighed and continued on her way to the meet up point. 

They both looked up at her. Magnus growled and rushed at the small teen. He grabbed Annalise and pushed her against the wall. “YOU KNEW,” He roared in her face. He slammed her against the wall again, “You knew and you didn’t tell us! You didn’t tell me!”

Annalise fought against the boy’s strong grip, “Fuck off! I didn’t know shit.” She curled her legs up and pushed her feet into his gut causing him to drop her onto the ground, “You really think I wouldn’t tell you if I knew anything about Mikkel and your dad?!” She started to cry, “I LOVED MIKKEL MORE THAN YOU AND MARTHA!” She pounced on the boy. Franziska tried to pull the other girl off of her boyfriend, but the other girl’s legs kept her cemented on top of him and Annalise hit him. “You two just left him,” she screamed, “You left him alone! You left me alone! Fuck you! Fuck your stupid sister. Fuck your goddamn mother who let me get tangled up in this! Fuck all of you!”

Franziska just finally punched Annalise on the side of her head, causing the girl to fall away from Magnus. She growled at the other girl and told her, “Leave!” She sneered and said, “You should have never came back.”

Annalise nodded and stormed away, “I wish I hadn’t. I wish I would have never even came to Winden. Could have drowned in the harbor with the one person who loved me.”

Magnus stood watching the girl leave. He panted. Part of him wanted to go to his friend and tell her that he was sorry, but he knew she wouldn’t accept it right now. He really did just blow up at her and she did just react back. He watched her leave before going sit down next to Franziska again.

It wasn’t long before Bartosz emerged. He looked at the two very clearly upset. He shook his head and then noticed the machine was gone. “Where’s the device,” He asked the two. When they didn’t respond, he asked again, “Where’s the fucking device?”

Magnus stood up and admitted, “My mom has it.”

Bartosz’s eyes widened. He looked down trying to calculate things, “That’s not right. It shouldn’t happen this way. It’s all my fault. Why didn’t Noah tell me what to do? Why didn’t he tell me it all? Explain the thing to me and doesn’t tell me what to do with it.” 

Franziska tried to comfort him, “Maybe you did exactly what you were supposed to do.” She stood up and said, “You showed us how it works. Maybe that was your sole task.”

“Fuck,” Bartosz whispered. Things that Noah had thinly veiled hinted towards him slowly came together, “Fuck!” He tripped as he tried to rush away.

Magnus asked him, “Where are you going?”

“To find the device,” Bartosz yelled, “And to find Annalise!”

Franziska looked at Magnus as they both ran after him.

“Hello,” Katharina called inside of the Kahnwald house. She walked inside. Seeing no one home, she climbed the stairs and investigated his things. She found his light and the map.

The younger Jonas led Claudia to the passage. She commented, “You said you wanted to shut the passage. In the future. Or the past… Your Future!”

Jonas stood and stared at her, “It took me ages to accept having to be part of the disaster I wanted to prevent.”

“How do you know all of this,” Claudia asked.

Jonas sighed as he explained, “In the last 12 months. You taught me everything, about the future and past. Everything that happened. Everything that will happen. There are two sides out there. Adam and Sic Mundus want to create a new world. You and I want to save this one.”

Claudia asked him, “Who is Adam?”

Jonas was silent as he tried to debate what he was going to tell the woman.

Adam sat in his chair staring at the time. He had all of this memorized by this point.

The Stranger forced Martha down into the bunker. She turned on the light and saw everything. “What is this,” Martha asked him.

The older Jonas let the gun down and explained, “The only safe place.” Martha growled as she tried to get past him. The man brought the gun back up and said, “Please. Don’t. Please.”

“Why are you doing this,” Martha barely made out.

The man explained, “Because I know what happens today.”

Martha started to cry, “The Mikkel story… Is it true?”

He nodded, “Yes. I didn’t want all this, Martha.” He started to cry, “She’s kept me alive. I’m still here because of that. Jonas will come back. It’ll all happen as it always had. But I can’t stop hoping I can change something. I have to.”

“Jonas will come back,” She asked.

The man approached her, “Promise me you won’t leave this bunker. No matter what happens.” He turned and walked out. Before he closed the heavy metal door, he told the girl, “I’m sorry.”

The younger Jonas crawled through the cave with Claudia close behind him. They stared into the darkness.

Clausen walked through the power plant. He paused at a door. He requested to go inside. Something inside of it called to him. He needed to go inside.

Katharina climbed down the stairs. On her way out, she spotted the photo album labeled, ‘Michael’ She picked it up. Her chest constricted. She took this time to sit and look through it. There in it’s pages was her son slowly growing up. Katharina started to cry. When Jonas walked in.

“Katharina,” He greeted the woman.

She put the album down. She walked to the device and plead with him, “How does the machine work?”

He shook his head, “Even if I explain it to you, it’s impossible.”

Katharina sneered, “You don’t want me to because then you wouldn’t exist.”

“I wish it were so simple,” the man explained, “Things in the past can’t be changed. Mikkel can’t return because I already exist.”

“Mikkel belongs here,” She started to yell, “Not you. You shouldn’t exist at all!”

Jonas nodded. He looked down at the box and whispered, “Yeah. I’d trade my life for his anytime. But I can’t die, because my future already exists. You’d be incapable of bringing Mikkel back.”

Katharina shook her head in confusion, “Then why did you return?”

“I tried to prevent the origin,” He explained, “But it’s impossible. I can’t. Adam is the endpoint. Maybe I can’t prevent myself from becoming what he is. But I can stop what has become of me.”

Adam stared at his painting as Noah entered the room.

“I know you lied to me,” Noah told the man. He strolled over to him and said, “You never meant to save them. None of them.”

Adam turned around, “We can’t escape our fate. Neither you nor I.”

Noah told him, “You aren’t raging a war against God.” He pulled out the last pages of the book and said, “You’re waging it against humanity.” He threw the last pages at him watching them rain down, “Here are the last pages. You used me.” Noah took out his pistol and told the man, “You had me do all these things, but I know now what I must do.” Noah cocked the gun and pointed it at Adam.

“Claudia was right,” Adam commented, “You still don’t understand how this game is played.” He stared down the gun and asked, “What are you waiting for?” Noah pulled the trigger, but it didn’t fire. Adam continued, “Time plays its cruel game with us. You believe your destiny is to kill me. But that is as little your fate as it is mine to die here and now.” He strolled over to his desk as Noah fiddled with the gun trying to make it go off. Adam grabbed the picture of Elisabeth and told the man, “Only when we’re free of all emotion are we truly free. Only when one is ready to sacrifice what one holds dearest.” He handed the man the picture and said, “Charlotte is your daughter. She is Elisabeth’s daughter and her mother. No human is without guilt. None of them have earned a place in your paradise.”

Noah turned to see Magnus, Franziska, and Agnes approach him. “Agnes,” He whispered to his sister.

“This knot,” Adam explained, “can only be undone by destroying it entirely.” Agnes grabbed the gun from her brother. “We can’t escape our destiny,” Adam explained. He nodded to the woman. She lifted up the pistol and shot her brother. Noah grunted then fell to the ground bleeding out and crying.

Hanno walked out of the church and continued on his way through 2020.

The young Jonas started up the machine. Blue particles arose into the air. Jonas commented, “It is time. We connect the past and future.”

Martha sat in the bunker. She glared at the door. She watched as the blue particles started to swirl in the room. Clausen was just about to enter the room as the lights flickered. Peter was driving with Elisabeth to the bunker as the birds rained down from the sky.

Katharina looked up and asked the man, “What is happening?”

The man replied, “It’s Jonas. He opened the passage again.”

“The thing Mikkel went through,” She asked.

The man nodded, “Yes.”

Katharina grabbed her bag and hurried out. Peter and Elisabeth ran into the bunker. Peter stopped when he saw Martha. He blinked and asked her, “Martha. Is everything okay? Who locked you down here?”

Martha ran past him despite his arguments. The teens stood in the Nielsen house as everything started to shake. 

“What was that,” Magnus asked Bartosz.

The boy looked up then to his friends and said, “Fuck.”

“It was the same noise as the one from in the cave,” concluded Franziska.

Bartosz shook his head, “Fuck. Did you get it?”

Magnus shook his head, “The device isn’t up there. Mom isn’t here and neither is Martha.”

“Do you think she’s with him,” Bartosz asked, “With Jonas? Noah was right. He was right about everything. I told you guys. Jonas is to blame for all this shit.”

Claudia and Jonas walked out of the cave. She asked him, “Where are we going?”

Jonas put down the suitcase and told her, “You have to take it to the bunker. Near Helge’s cabin. You don’t have much time.” He started to walk away. 

“And you,” she asked.

Jonas turned to her and said, “I have to find my mother and Annalise.” He turned and started his trek to his house ignoring Claudia calling his name behind him.

There was only two hours left.

Magnus called Martha once again, “Hey Martha! Call me back.” He looked at the group and said, “None of them are answering.”

Franziska looked down at her phone after receiving a text. She stood up and told the group, “My father is with Elisabeth in the bunker. He says I should join him.”

Bartosz pushed himself off the door frame as Magnus asked, “In the bunker?”

“Shit,” Bartosz said, “Something’s happening.”

“I have to go there,” Franziska told Magnus.

The boy debated within himself for a second before telling her, “If they’re not here in 30 minutes, we’ll go join your father.”

Elisabeth signed to her father, “Where’s Mom and Franziska?”

Peter held his daughter close after telling her, “I don’t know.”

Charlotte and Woller drove down to the power plant. They were going as fast as they could to try to stop Clausen. But alas, he was already inside staring at the pool that was concreted over. He looked at the engineer and told him to uncover it. 

Regina yelled over the phone trying to get in contact with her husband. She heard her mother’s voice. She turned to see Claudia standing there… but the way she looked in 1987.

Claudia begged her daughter to come with her to the bunker and to forgive her.

The older Jonas stared at the door with the gun in front of him. As the footsteps grew closer, he raised the gun. When he saw the boy, he lowered the gun, “Noah?”

“You look different,” Hanno told the man, “Well, different to when I saw you last.”

The man held up the gun as he growled, “He sent you. Adam.”

Hanno commented, “I always wondered when you became him.”

“I won’t do that,” Jonas seethed through his teeth, “I’ll never do what he did.”

Hanno sighed, “He said you’d say something like that.” He approached him, “He also said we’d become friends, before you’d betray me.”

The Stranger asked the boy, “Why do you follow him?”

“Why did you follow her,” Hanno asked, “Claudia? Because we want to believe. Because we cling to the salvation promised to us. If you kill him… You kill all hope of salvation.” He put his hand over the man’s and said, “He’s the savior.” He made the man lower the gun as he said, “You are the savior.” The boy took out a letter.

“What is that,” Jonas asked.

Hanno told the man, “Read it.”

Jonas took the letter and started to read it. He panted, “That’s impossible.”

“You have to save them,” Noah told the man, “Bartosz, Magnus, Franziska. And later me and Agnes. The loop has to be closed so the next cycle begins. As the prophecy dictates. And so they both can live.”

The man panted, “No, this can’t be.” He closed the letter, grabbed the machine and ran.

Katharina walked into the cave as Elisabeth crawled through the hole under the plant in 2053. Franziska and Magnus helped Adam get ready for his journey. The crews dug into the pool. Elisabeth and Peter sat in the bunker as Regina and Claudia joined them. Charlotte walked into the room as they were digging trying to uncover the pool.

Jonas walked into his childhood home. He was finally back in his own time. He looked around for Hannah and Annalise. He walked up the stairs calling for them.

Martha walked into the Kahnwald house, “Jonas?!” The boy ran down the stairs once more to see the girl. She gasped, “you’re back. You really came back. I’ve been looking for you.” She slowly approached him.

“I have to tell you something,” Jonas rushed to her.

Martha nodded, “I know. Everything. That’s why you said that back then in the rain. Mikkel… I know everything.”

Jonas shook his head, “No, Martha,”

“It was you at the lake,” She interrupted him, “You were the boy with Annalise too, weren’t you?”

He started to cry, “I was wrong then.” He felt her wipe his tears away, “I… Annalise.”

Martha nodded laughing through her tears, “I understand.” She shook her head as she pressed her forehead against his. They laughed together desperately as they cried. They felt so stupid.

Annalise walked in interrupting the two teens. Her heart raced feeling the cold metal in her hands. The heartless object weighed upon her more than life itself. Jonas stared at the girl’s tear-stained face. For the first time ever, he realized her pain. Jonas saw her for just how broken, lost, and scared she was. His heart ached. She was just as locked in this as he was. They were perfectly falling into the darkness together. She was broken nearing the edge of unrecognition. He looked at the gun in her hand. Annalise slowly lifted it and pointed it at Martha. She squeezed her eyes closed and started to whisper under her breath, “Please forgive me. Please forgive me. I have to. I have to. I can’t let the world end again.”

Jonas’s eyes widened as he yelled at Annalise, “Lise! What are you doing?!” He rushed to her and touched her face. His hands were shaking. It had taken him a moment to actually fully realize what was happening around him. “Annalise, talk to me,” He pleaded with her, “Please. Open your eyes and look at me.”

Her lips trembled as she slowly opened her eyes to look at the dirty boy in front of her. Her heart stopped. The wall she built up suddenly crumbled. Her breath taken from her. There he was. Just like the day they first met. The day she had her first kiss. The day she fell in love with a boy who would not love her back right before this moment. The gun nearly dropped from her hand. Everything else in the world faded from her for a second. As she felt the gun slip, she gripped firmly onto it and back to reality. She shook her head of those earlier thoughts. Her tears fell from her eyes, “Jonas, I have to. You can’t hate me if I don’t.”

Martha stood there terrified. She didn’t know what to do. She started to panic. This was all too much for her. She started to sob as well. She had no idea what was going on. Those two seemed as if they had seen and came back from war right there under her nose. They acted so hardened when just a few months earlier, they were soft and warm.

“Hate you,” Jonas asked. He started to cry, “Lise… We both know that I couldn’t do that. We both know I can’t.” He wiped her tears from her face, “We’ve come so far. I’ve grown to meet you where I left you standing a year ago. I’m finally here. I’m so sorry I left you.” He wrapped one of his hands around hers with the gun, “Annalise please give it to me. You’ll regret it later if you do this. I know you. You love Martha just as much as I do. You don’t want to do this. Please just listen to me. Please forgive me for taking this long to realize.”

Annalise sobbed, “But if I don’t, then the Apocalypse is just going to keep happening and I have to stop it Jonas. I have to stop you from looping us over and over again.” The breaking point of suffering revealed itself across her face. Her chest squeezed onto itself as she yelled at the boy, “If you hate me, then all of this will stop! I have to make it stop! I just want all this pain to end!” She was finally fully spiraling down. She could finally unleash everything with the one person who could truly understand. Her voice was strained from her tears and guilt. Her heart raced. Her mind was running faster than time itself. She just wanted everything to stop, just for a single second; Time to stop.

Jonas soothed her, “I know. I promise you. I know.” He wrapped himself around her for a small moment before pulling away again to plea, “Annalise please… Listen to me. Give me the gun. Everything is going to be okay. You trust me, right? That’s why you’re here, right? You have to just trust me just a little bit more, okay? I promise I’m going to stop this, okay?” He brought his body close to hers. He tried to wipe her tears with one hand while the other still tried to have her let go of the gun.

Annalise slowly loosened her grip just enough to where Jonas felt comfortable to wrestle it out of her hand. With one arm, he pulled her close to him for an embrace. Annalise wept into his neck wrapping herself around him also. Martha started to approach them to join in the hug. All the while Jonas’s other arm reeled back and tossed the gun away from them. BANG! The gun roared as it released its chambered bullet after being carelessly tossed aside. Martha screamed and lept back once more. Jonas pulled Annalise closely to him trying to protect her only for it to be proven useless. Annalise coughed and red blood waterfalled out of her mouth and onto his neck and shoulder. Her chest heaved as she tried to breathe. She was like a fish out of water.

Jonas cried, “Annalise! Annalise no!” He pressed his hands against the warm wet wound as he lowered them to the ground. He pulled her into his lap. His salty tears washed away the blood from her chin, “Stay with me.” One of his hands moved to her face to caress her cheeks leaving his bloody fingerprints behind as he nodded telling her, “You’re going to live with me and we will get married. Right here in this house. We are going to have two beautiful children. Because we don’t want them to be lonely. I won’t leave your side. Ever. Never again. Just... Please. Please don’t leave me.” He felt shuffling around him but he didn’t care his focus was completely on the girl he loved being drained of her life in his arms. The boy pressed his forehead against hers. 

Annalise reached up to touch his face. She wiped his tears with a small smile, “I will never leave you. We were meant to be. This was destined to happen.” She coughed having more of her blood drench the both of them, “Please… Don’t let me go until I’m asleep.” As much as she would have hated to tell him, she didn’t feel any pain. She just finally felt at peace. Like she could rest without worry now.

Jonas cradled her, “But you can’t. You have to stay with me. We have to spend every night together thankful that we have each other. You have to be the one who finds me in the dark! Don’t leave me! Promise me you’ll stay with me! Annalise, you have to promise me, please!” His head kept shaking trying to deny all that she and the world was telling him. He swallowed hard. His breathing was shallow as his ocean blue eyes drained everything from them.

Annalise shook her head while rubbing his cheeks, “I would have never known I could love so much without you. Just keep me safe and close right now.” She tried to keep her smile plastered on her face to try and comfort the boy she loved. 

Jonas nodded, “Of course. I won’t let anything happen to you.” He sobbed more as his entire body trembled with fear, “Annalise, you have to pull through though. We have to… I want you here with me… I want us together… Here… I want to see your smiling face every morning and take a walk with you through the woods so we can just scream out our troubles… I want your burnt pancakes…” He whispered desperately, “Please…”

Two familiar faces appeared to her right past Jonas. Mikkel, who constantly was shifting between when she knew him and when he was Jonas’s father, and her father stood there with welcoming arms and smiles waiting for her. She started to look past the solidly there boy, “I’m going home. I’ll see you soon.” Annalise finally felt at home again. Her heart at long awaited peace. She turned her face back to Jonas. Annalise had a small smile painted across her face, “I love you.” With the last of her energy, she snuggled into his chest and pulled him down for a small tender kiss.

Jonas didn’t pull away from her until she was fully limp and gone. He had pressed his lips hard and desperate against hers. Hoping by some miracle that his love would cure her wound and she would come back to him. “I love you too,” He whispered to her as his tears splashed on her face. The boy slowly removed her necklace and put it into his pocket for safekeeping. He heard another bang near his head. He looked up to see Adam and a fallen Martha. Jonas panicked and crawled over to Martha, “No. No no no. No. No. Martha no.”

Adam gently placed the smoking gun down next to Annalise. He scooped her limp body up and in a pained whisper told her body, “And so the circle closes.” He turned to the young him and said, “I told you that all the pieces are in their places. All that’s needed was a little push.” He turned his head back to his limp love in his arms and moved the hair out of her face. He placed his forehead against hers with his eyes closed for a moment feeling more of her warm getting sucked away.

Jonas grit his teeth, “You lied to me! You wanted it all to happen again! Why else?! You’re the trigger!” He bore his teeth at Adam wishing he could pull his love away from his perverse older self. Yet, he dared not move from trying to hold Martha’s wound. It slowly started to click. Adam must have gotten to Annalise too and lied to her. Filled her head with nasty corrupting lies that lead them to this moment… and he had helped him. Just yesterday for him, but a full year ago for her, he had planted the seeds for her to trust Adam, just as he also planted the seeds of their future love.

Adam stared at him, “We’re all the trigger. Each and every one of us.”

“Why do you want that,” He yelled, “Why do you want the future to be repeated?! Annalise is dead because of you! She trusted you!”

The man sighed, “Because what is created today is the beginning of the end. The dark matter, it has to be created so that in the future I can lead it to its new purpose. The end of this world. I am the trigger, only not of what you think. I am the trigger that will make you become what I am today. Some pain is unforgettable. You will carry this pain with you all your life. Until you’re finally ready...” Adam strolled over to the calendar and marked the date for his past and future self, “to let go. Of her, too.” He nodded towards Martha. Adam walked towards him, “You can stop me or try to save her. You’ll know what to do.” The elder Jonas walked out with Annalise’s limp body cradled in his arms leaving his younger self to cry over Martha.

“Please don’t go,” Jonas begged, watching the life drain from her eyes, “I can’t lose you too. Please.” He watched as the life drained from her as well.

The crate was opened despite Charlotte protesting.

The adult Jonas banged on the door. He stormed inside the Nielsen house ignoring Magnus’s questions after the boy let him inside. He placed the machine down.

“It’s him,” Bartosz slowly approached him, “It’s you. You’re Jonas. It’s all your fault.”

He nodded, “Yes. It’s all my fault. All of it. But I’m here to save you.”

“Save us from what,” Bartosz asked through gritted teeth.

“From the apocalypse,” explained the man.

“What apocalypse,” Magnus asked.

Bartosz growled, “What about Martha? Where is Annalise?” He rushed at the man as Elisabeth in 2053 threw the switch. Bartosz gripped the man’s shirt and yelled, “WHERE IS ANNALISE?!”

The older Magnus and Franziska turned their machine on full power as the 2020 atom expanded into the room. Katharina followed the particles through the cave to the passage as the bunker lights started to flicker. Hanno slowly walked into the bunker as the atom lowered and collapsed in on itself.

Katharina opened the passage seeing a giant light. The portal slowly opened revealing the older Elisabeth to Charlotte. They stared at each other for a moment before reaching out to touch each other.

The machine whirled to life as Magnus and Franziska tried to pull Bartosz away from trying to kill the man using only his fists. Bartosz continued to scream at him as the machine’s portal slowly opened.

Jonas cried over Martha’s body. “I’ll make it right.” He heard footsteps behind him causing him to turn around. When he saw who it was, he scurried away from the girl’s body.

A short haired Martha with a scar approached him. She had dark hair and bangs. She looked at the girl’s body and back up at him, “I’m not who you think I am.” She turned hearing the noise then rushed back to him. 

“Wait, Martha, that’s not possible, I..”

The girl turned to him and took out a device, “We don’t have time.” She activated it, “I’ll explain it to you later. We have to go now.”

Jonas stared at her, “What time are you from?”

This Martha turned to him and responded, “The question isn’t from what time, but from what world.”

Jonas turned to stare at the girl, then down at the screaming ball as the nuclear blast hit his home.

[funkymeihem-fiction]

Operation: Miracle Prawn - Part 5

(The final chapter in the Miracle Prawn meihem series! Thank you all for reading!)

“Are you sure we have everything?” Mei pushed her glasses back up her nose, brows knitted fretfully as she began clicking rapidly at her tablet once more. “Powders, lotions, meds…What about diapers? What if she gets sick and you run out of diapers? I’ll order more diapers. And formula? Once the stuff in the refrigerator is gone, what if she doesn’t take to the formula? Or maybe she doesn’t like that brand? What if she gets hungry and she won’t eat and I’m not here? She’s not old enough, I’m not supposed to leave her alone yet! Should I cancel? Here, I’ll call Winston. I’m canceling—”

Junkrat shot her an irritable look. “She won’t be alone. Fuck’s sake, darl, you got any confidence in me at all?”

“No! I mean, yes! I mean, I didn’t mean it like that! But it’s just such a long time and she’s just getting over her first cold, and why does it have to be now?” She reached up to where the baby’s tufted blond head lay slumped against her father’s chest, asleep and blissfully ignorant to her mother’s ongoing tempest. “Can’t they find someone else for this stupid summit? I should be here…”

Junkrat had replaced his usual bomb-holding harness with a baby-holding type instead. It was a lot bulkier than what he was used to, more used to the weight of a RIP-Tire on his back than an infant on his chest, and instead of loose wires or jagged metal scraping against his ribs he had to worry about curious little hands or the occasional foot to the gut. Also the prawn tended to explode even more randomly than his old bombs and it usually smelled a lot worse. But for now she was snoring and breathing very gently against his collar bone, where she’d apparently inherited her mother’s ability to sleep through anything short of a nuclear blast, as Junkrat had to pry Mei’s hands off her as gently as he could.

“S’only a week and you’re a bloody guest of honor and whatnot. The suits are gonna be expecting you to talk about the climate-whatevers. Come on now, you’ve been just as cramped as I’ve been for the past few months. You think I can’t handle my girl on my own for a few days? She and I are gonna have a blast!”

“That’s what I’m worried about!” Mei protested again. “No blasts while I’m gone.”

“You’re no fun at all. Your mum’s no fun, is she? Here I was, planning on showing her how to build a bomb-wheelie, throw ourselves a baby kegger, have a few beers, rob a few banks… Oh come on! Don’t give me that look, you’re doing the look again! Listen, you can call every single day or send Nan to check up on things if that’ll calm you down. Everything’s gonna be fine. I keep telling you I can do this. I’m her da, after all. You go take care of things there, and I’ll take care of things here, yeah?”

“Ana will want to check in on Thursday. And I said I’d only call once, halfway through the conference. I promised. Are you sure you’ll be okay, though? I-it’s not that I don’t think you can do it. It’s just…I won’t be here for her. This conference is all the way in America. I’ll be so far away from you both, and I’ve never been away this long. What if something happens, and I can’t…? I can’t lose anyone else…I can’t lose her…She’s got to be okay. You both have to be okay.”

Junkrat’s scowl softened, snatching up her hand and placing it to his jaw. “Lookit me. D’you honestly think I’d let anything happen to my own prawn? This one, snoring away right here without a care in the world? You’ll be back before you know it and she’ll be none the wiser. And blimey, it’s not like I don’t have the whole damn population of Overwatch on the other side of the door. Nan’s going to be buzzing around, Angelface is back in two days, and Roadie’s…” His expression went dark again. “Well, guess we’re not counting Roadie anymore.”

Her palm cradled his cheek, soft and cool as he leaned down into it. “I know it bothers you,” she said. “But you just have to give him time. I keep saying he must have his own reasons? We can’t press him.”

“You know the only time he saw her? You know the only damn time he’s bothered to show up, is when you were popping her out. And after that he fucked right off! Surprised he’s still even around at all. Just goes to show, doesn’t it? I try to employ the man, give him a better life and new opportunities and whatnot, and this is how he repays me! S’only through the kindness of my tender heart that I haven’t fired him already! It’s pink slips all the way down, that’s what it should be!”

Mei sighed, eyes rolling upward briefly. “Okay, now we are both acting a little irrational. Just, please be careful while I’m gone, okay? Call anyone if you need to, even if you don’t think you need to. If you need help, it’s okay to need help.” Her tablet beeped and she tapped it again, tucking it away and patting herself down. “Oh no, my flight’s here! That’s so soon! Just…be good, both of you. Promise?”

“Yeah, promise and all. C’mere.” He turned awkwardly to the side, opening one arm and leaning down to plant his lips to hers…and then needing to practically pry her off the baby again, when Mei’s kisses were making her make little noises and threatening to wake her up. “We’re both gonna be fine, you’ll see! You go do the thing, and these days are gonna fly right by. We’ll see you in a week.”

“Are you sure?”

“Mei!”

“N-no, no, I’m sorry! Sorry. I’ll see you in a week. Take care of things while I’m gone. Bye bye, zài jiàn!” She hefted her suitcases and hurried off down the ramp towards the base’s docking area. She paused at the bottom, offering a wave. For a moment Junkrat was afraid that she was going to turn around and try to come back again for the third time, but after a dangerously long moment of hesitation she finally grabbed her luggage and bustled out of sight.

Junkrat exhaled after making sure she was actually gone this time, twisting his neck to look down at the slumbering package still strapped onto him. “Bloody hell, you’d think it was a year away. Guess she’s just fretful over you still, d’you think? Well we’re going to show her that everything’s all shine, just the two of us. We can handle it, ay?” He tweaked at her bootied foot and felt it flop limply. “Huh. Unless you’re just asleep for the whole thing, I guess. Come on, let’s get you down in bed proper. And then just think, a whole week with your da! Aren’t you the luckiest prawn in the world!”

***

The prawn had taken her nap like a champion, not waking up no matter how hard he hammered and banged in the next room, disassembling a broken cleaner bot that he’d found in the garbage. Even if Overwatch offered him new parts and all the latest up-to-date technology, he still felt at his best when he was elbows-deep in oil and scrap. And afterward he’d even remembered to wash his hands just how Mei wanted. Or at least enough that it wouldn’t leave black fingerprints on the little animal blankies, which was good enough.

But eventually she’d had her fill of naptime and decided to announce her awakening with a racket as usual. No doubt she was hungry, since her main states thus far had been sleeping, shitting, or eating. Junkrat was a good and responsible father who followed the instructions he’d been taught repeatedly, heating up the milk to just the correct temperature and holding her just how she liked before nudging the bottle’s nipple at her squawling mouth.

Usually she was a ravenous little thing with an appetite to match his errant bodyguard, always eager for tits just like he was. But on their very first damn night alone, of course she decided to be a real wombat about the whole thing. No matter how he tried, she refused to take it. It wasn’t the first time she’d gotten fussy about dinnertime, but her mum had always been around to provide her with the source she preferred. But Mei wasn’t here this time. And no matter how he tried to explain it to her, she just wasn’t getting the picture.

He tried again, easing it at her mouth and cursing aloud when she turned away. “Noooo no no, c’mon now. Your mum’s off doing big science-type things. Now I might not have precisely the tits you like, but this is gonna have to do. Now just oooopen up and— Fuck! I mean, not fuck! Not fuck!” He grabbed a nearby rag and wiped at her face as milk slid down her cheek, which only made her cry more. “Okay, you’re making this harder than it’s gotta be. Work with me here.”

Eventually she did work with him, seemingly deciding at complete random to turn her head and latch onto the bottle like nothing had been wrong at all. What the hell? Normally he enjoyed the work of a fellow agent of chaos, but not when those chaotic whims were aimed at him. It had taken over a half hour just for one feeding, with her fussing and wailing the whole time. But he calmed his jittering and held her steady while she eagerly drained the bottle. Finally.

At least she belched easily enough, when he held her on his bony shoulder and patted the air out of her. She smiled when he pulled her back down, and he liked to imagine that it was a real smile aimed at him, even though he knew better and that she mostly smiled when she was farting, which was…yep, that was exactly what she was doing. He sniffed, then coughed and held her out at arms’ length. “Aawugh! Right outta both ends on that one! That’s definitely from your mum’s side. Now secret between you and me, lovey, your mum’s got some rank ones, real bonzers. Think it’s from all the vegetarian slop she insists on eating. That adorable sweetie pie exterior she’s got, it’s all just cloak and dagger to hide it when she rips gas, so you don’t suspect the source. I’m onto her, though, you’ll see.”

“Nnhg!” the prawn protested, starting to fuss again before he popped a rubber dummy into her mouth. She calmed somewhat, so focused on the pacifier that she didn’t seem to notice that she was socking herself in the cheek. Attagirl. He waved away the smell and carried her off back towards her chair, strapping her in and adjusting her blanket so she’d be comfy while she sucked the dummy and watched the proceedings.

“Your mum also seems to think I can’t do this. Imagine,” he said, diving back into the guts of the cleaner bot with both hands. “I know I ain’t—  I know I can’t always remember things exactly. But still! Bit shit, really, thinking I can’t look after you. You’re just as much mine as hers! Half junker, after all. Of course I can handle you.”

She punched herself in the face again and crossed her eyes.

“Exactly! Memorized everything, wrote it all down, put reminders up, even agreed to let Nan come check in halfway through. It’s all a bit thick for my liking, but what else can I do? Can’t get mad at Mei for it. Just worries for ya, all the time. Worries for me too. Says she can’t lose us no matter what. I dunno, makes my ribs hurt when she says it.” He reached in and tore out a connecting rod, beginning the delicate process of dismantling its smaller bits. “D’you think that’s weird, how something can physically ache like that? Is that what heartbreak feels like? Or is it maybe just the nerve pains again?”

She snuffled and made a wet noise that sounded almost Hog-like.

“Good point. Guess we just gotta prove we can both do this no problem, ay? I’m not gonna forget anything and you’re probably just going to sleep for most of the week anyway. You just gotta eat, shit, and maybe grow a few kilos. Maybe take it easy on the shitting part, though? Not to offend, love, but between the gas and the nappies, you’re basically a biological weapon in a onesie. But no worries! Me and you, right? Who’s gonna be my good girl while mum’s away!”

She coughed and the dummy clattered onto the ground with the sound of hollow plastic. Without even looking, he paused where he was screwing the panels apart on the cleaner bot to sweep it up, wiping it down before he distractedly replaced it in her tiny mouth. He went to sort through the big screws again, when he suddenly sat up very straight and his yellow eyes widened.

“Wait, I—”

“Mmmmnn!” The prawn uttered a whimper behind him, and something was wrong.

Rat whirled around from where he had started to prod the rubber dummy at the opening of the bot’s panels, still holding it in his hand. A large metal bolt screw was resting on his little girl’s bib, where it had just rolled down her chin. He’d been holding the wrong fucking thing. He’d just stuffed a fucking bolt screw into his daughter’s mouth. Thank fuck she’d had more sense than him and had spat it back out.

“SHIT! Fuckshitno! No no no no!” He threw everything aside, metal clattering in all directions, snatching up and hurling the offending screw across the room like a grenade. The prawn’s eyes widened at the noise and she promptly started wailing again, a smear of black on her smiling yellow duckie bib. He wiped at it desperately, fumbling to unstrap her from her chair as he ran her to the kitchen sink, scooping up water to try and clean her chin. “No no no! It’s fine! I got you, you’re fine, it’s all fine!”

She began screaming harder at the sensation of icy water, and his metal hand all but tore the handles of the sink off as he tried to warm it, trying to stick his flesh hand under the faucet since it was the only one able to feel temperature, but then the water went from too cold to too damn boiling hot for prawns. He yanked her back away from the sink, holding her up to the light and inspecting her open mouth for grease while she wailed right into his face.

Small emergency, but she looked clean. And at least she hadn’t swallowed the fucking thing… Mei would’ve had his head on a goddamn platter, and that was only if he didn’t do it himself for hurting his own little girl. That had been too fucking close. But hardly unusual for someone like him, a colossal fuck-up of a junker who should never have had a kid in the first place. No wonder Mei didn’t believe in him being able to—

He shook his head clear, nerves rattled even as he tried to paste his grin back on. Pulling her up against his chest, he rocked and patted her and crooned her little nonsense songs, her cries going muffled as she scowled and flailed a tiny little clenched fist at him. What a scrapper. He probably deserved those tiny punches.

“Shhh shhh shhh, was just one little mistake! Everyone makes mistakes! It was just…one teeny one, right? And you’re a canny one, you knew better. Smarter than your da, aren’t you?” He patted at her fluffy yellow head, trying to rock her. “We’re not gonna tell Mei about this. I’ll be more careful, swear it. Just gotta get me head on straight, sort through me thoughts. Won’t happen again. Come on, there’s a good girl, she’ll be apples, ssshh shhh!”

She seemed less than convinced, and the rocking only seemed to upset her more. Her sobbing continued, only getting louder in pitch and ferocity. Somewhere in the other room, a timer chimed and began playing a happy tune, indicating it was time to try and feed her yet again. He limped for the fridge, and the prawn stopped crying and abruptly smiled up at him. It was an evil smile, just like his but without any teeth. An extremely foul smell began to emanate from her diaper, even worse than before. This time it smelled…solid.

With that business done, she promptly started crying again.

Junkrat started to have his doubts.

***

Roadhog sat slumped in the depths of his sofa, surrounded by cushions and pachimari toys scattered around him. Licking one broad thumb, he separated the paper pages of his book. It was going a little dog-eared, but that’s how he preferred them. Mei had tried giving him one of the computer books, which she said could hold thousands upon thousands of books at one time, or even read them to him if he liked. But he had always declined. He was usually forced to listen to Junkrat talk for hours at a time and found the silence an escape. And he liked old books— real books. He liked the smell and the feel of the paper. He liked the tactile nature of them and their visual presence. And he especially liked their covers: usually with swooning figures falling all over each other, set in exotic places.

This cover was a good one, too. There was a model-looking woman with curly brown hair and dressed in a brocade dress of some old more-romantic time period, her hands raised to her face in mock-alarm at the appearance of her lover in the window of her castle, his face cast into shadow. Judging by the blurb, Roadhog had already surmised that the secret lover was probably a vampire or some such. Vikings, bodices, and time travel were possibly involved too, he wasn’t sure yet.

He’d been doing a lot of reading, lately. With Junkrat now indisposed with Mei and their girl, most of Overwatch had seemed to forget his presence. There had been an occasional mission where he’d been tasked with extra muscle, but he was still ‘the bodyguard’ in their minds. Only now he had no body to guard. Junkrat was technically safe, or at least as safe as someone like him could get. Mei was safe. And their little girl… Everybody was safe. Without him, even safer.

He stayed away from family affairs. They weren’t meant for him. Simple as.

It was getting late in the afternoon, sunlight streaming in through the high window of his garage. It fell across him and warmed his old bones, bathing him in yellow light that was nothing at all like the scorching UV rays of the Outback, but just a pleasant glow for him to read his romance novels to. The dehumidifier rumbled and churned in its comforting mechanical way, drying the air to how he preferred it. The smell of drier sheets still emanated from the basket of fresh laundry that the cleaning crew had left that morning. Everything was pleasant…almost too pleasant.

The distant and muffled wail of a child cut through his drowsy contentment like a hot knife through skin and fat. The sound of a baby’s cry soon drowned out everything else in his mind, hardwired into primal instinct like nothing else. It agitated him on a level he could not describe, and it was getting closer. Closer and closer, and louder and louder, until it was right outside his abode.

Fuck. No.

He pulled on the comforting confines of his swine mask, inhaling a rasping breath of calming hogdrogen from one of the canisters nearby, and he listened in silence. The crying stopped its journey in front of his door and set up shop on the stoop, and he heard a faint rustle and curse before a series of rapidfire poundings rattled the door like gunfire. It was high up, metal against metal, and without any rythym or pattern. That was Junkrat then. That was Junkrat and his baby girl, trying to hail him. The baby, especially, was trying to hail him, with the racket she was putting up that could even drown out her own father. They were here and they bayed for blood and answers outside his door.

“Hog! Haaaaawg! I know you’re in there, Pigface!”

Roadhog remained silent and still and did not respond, waiting for them to leave again.

The pounding and crying continued. “Hog! Roadhog! Get out here! Fine, if that’s how it’s gonna be, we’re… No, no, I’m not yelling at you. Da’s just going to take care of a few things here.” The junker’s shrill voice went low again, or at least as low as Junkrat was capable.

Roadhog waited, even though he knew it was fruitless. And sure enough, there was soon a bang and a puff of smoke from his door’s control panels, as it blew the module from the mechanical interior. It slid open a moment later, and an extremely irate-looking Rat was squatting a distance away from the explosion, holding both hands over the ears of the little girl squirming in the carrier strapped to his front.

He straightened, and even at a glance at a distance, Hog could tell that he was more out of sorts than usual. He was twitching maniacally, his grin was of the stressed gritted sort, his eyes were rimmed in red veins and dark shadows, and every movement was weighted down with the poisonous mixture of exhaustion and caffeine that was uniquely his own. He threw himself forward, hauling a duffel bag along with him that was overflowing with diapers, rags, and bottles instead of bombs and mines. With a snarl, he came limping into the garage home, looking so indignant that it made even Hog almost forget that Rat was the one doing the trespassing.

“Not even gonna answer the bloody door for me!” he said. “As if I couldn’t knock it down in ten secs flat! Would’ve saved me a lot of bother, and now you’ve gone and upset the prawn even more! No no no, da’s not mad at you, darl. Shhh shh shh. Shhh! F-fuck’s sake!”

Roadhog grumbled and set his book down. The peace of the afternoon was now shattered with a baby crying and her father yelling. The smell of soot, ash, and baby powder was noticeable through his filtered mask, replacing the new laundry smell. Even his sunbeam retreated as a cloud passed overhead and blotted out the light, as if to shield itself from the scene down below.

“Hmmn.”

“Don’t you ‘Hrmmm’ at me, mate! Some standover man you’ve turned out to be! Went and scarpered first chance you got, that’s what you did. What’s all that? Left me and Mei and the tot to our lonesomes, barely surviving!”

The little girl hiccuped and waved her limbs weakly from her carrier, still crying.

Hog eyed them both. “Hmm.”

“It’s shit, that’s what it is! That’s what you are! 50% of my hard-earned living expenses, going for what? You’re s’posed to help me! What is it you want, mate?! Is it money? How much do I gotta pay? How much do you want? Uh, pay by the hourly? How much is that? How about your packimacki toy things! What if I got you some of those! Credits? Omnic botcoin investment? What is it you want to be mates again?!”

“Hnnh…It’s not—”

“It’s not enough?! You think now’s the time to drive a hard bargain?!” Rat dropped the bulging diaper bag onto Hog’s coffee table, on top of the papers and books and everything else, leaning down to rifle through it. Toys and pacifiers and a stray bottle came spilling out, rolling across the cement floors. “Here, help me find the thing. I’ll get you a payment right now.”

“…Hrrngh. No. Listen—”

“Just one hour! Just…just one fucking hour!” Rat pulled out one of Mei’s tablets, and Hog saw how his hands were shaking and how much trouble he seemed to be having just navigating through the intro panels, pausing only to swipe a gloved hand across his baby girl’s face when she drooled onto the display.

Hog watched him try at it for a few moments before he finally rumbled his question. “Rat.”

“Yeah?!”

“When did you sleep last.”

“Huh?”

“Sleep.”

“Uh. How long’s Mei been gone? What day is it? Uh…three? Yeah, probably about three days ago.”

“Hmm.”

Rat turned on him, nearly frothing with rage again. “Which is fine! Who really needs sleep, when I’ve got to keep things going so great with my girl! Don’t give me those disapproving piggy eyes behind that mask, I’m wise to you! Three days is fine! …Or has it been four? What’s today? Shit, is this when Nan’s checking in?!” He spun in a lost circle. “You got to tell Nan I got this under control. I…I might’ve made a few mistakes here and there, with the prawn. But look at her, Hog! She’s still in one piece! The miracle prawn that you don’t give one toss about! But she’s doing great and she’s right here if you just look at her! See? SEE?!”

“…Yeah.”

“Just give me one hour, that’s all. If you’re still my mate at all, you gotta help me with this. Help me bathe her and whatnot, get that bow onto her head, you know, all picture-worthy to send to Mei. Then I gotta clean things up in the room. Had a little incident with the blender. So I took apart the pump for Mei’s tits, using the parts but only temporarily. Cut my fingers up pretty bad, but cleaned it all up and bandaged it good. Then the prawn sort of exploded on the changin’ table, got to bleach that. Not the clothes bleach, but the one in the white bottle: one’s for clothes and one’s for shit, one’s going to burn her if I wash the onesies in it and gets on her skin, and what if I hurt her?! What if I keep fucking it up and she gets hurt?! Does she look thin to you? I can barely get her to eat like she’s supposed to, just refuses it outright. Takes ages just for me to get her to eat even a little. What if we put on the fluffy outfit to hide how thin she’s getting? Here, help me get her squared away before Nan calls in her report—”

“Rat. Tell Ana you need help—”

“Fuck! No! Are you out of your gourd?! She’ll tell Mei, she’ll tell Mei everything that I’ve done wrong, that I’m a shit dad who never should have been a dad. And Mei can’t think that, not after everything!” He paced from one end of the room to the other, peg leg clacking, offering another rubber dummy to his still-wailing baby and helplessly tossing it aside when she refused it yet again. “D’you know how long I spent convincing Mei that I could do this? That she could leave me with the prawn without me fucking it up? She…She’s got to know I can do this. She’s got to at least think I can do this. E-even if I can’t…do this…” He slumped down onto the overstuffed armchair, lanky body practically melting under the ever-growing weight still strapped onto his front, latching both hands over his bloodshot eyes. “Hog…What if I can’t do this?”

Roadhog was silent for a very long time, breath rasping through his filters, audible over the hiccuping and burbling of his impromptu guests. Behind the mask’s lenses, his eyes swerved downward to the little bundle in her carrier. He’d seen glimpses of it from far away, usually attached to Mei, but even when she caught his gaze, she never approached him with it. Even if he hadn’t told her all of it, he had a feeling that Mei knew why he hadn’t visited them. Not visited her…

This was the first time he’d seen her up close since the day of her birth. She’d been fresh as a newly-laid egg when he’d seen her, barely cleaned and still green around the gills when Junkrat had shown her off from behind the glass. She’d grown a little since then, the ‘prawn’, and was no longer the shrunken and misshapen thing from before. She had more wisps of yellow, hair, soft and thin as goose down, and eyes to match her father’s. But the cheeks and nose and the stern frown was definitely Mei’s, especially when she finally noticed the big blob that was his presence and she hiccuped and stared up at him in a very accusatory way.

“Bbbwaaaa,” she said.

She didn’t look anything like the one he’d known. That one had been larger, darker-eyed, and with dark hair that had grown in thick right away. That one had been more quiet and more solemn, with a strangely thoughtful gaze for something so small and so new. That one would have had deep thoughts as she observed the world around her, would probably have chronicled it all with the crayons and paper he’d put aside for her for her one day. That one would have sung the song about bumblebees together with him, had already started to try gurgling along with his crooning. That one had only just learned to smile, really smile at his face, and reach for him, and those dark eyes always lit up in recognition with a spark that burned brighter than the white light on the horizon that had scorched her to ashes.

This one was flailing her legs like a kickboxer, snotting and drooling onto her bib, and still trying to focus on the big masked blur that took up her entire vision. He saw the way she squinted, trying to control her eyes and the lids that covered them without knowing how or why. And though she likely couldn’t even see exactly who he was or the danger he presented, she reached out one tiny little hand and flailed blindly in his direction.

“Aaanngh,” she said.

Hog didn’t respond to the gesture, making himself look away as he grunted and leaned down to pick up a rattling toy that had rolled against his boot. Placing it back on the table, he finally went to set aside his novel, placing his bookmark between the pages. “Hm. Can just call Ana. She’ll sort you out. She knows about—”

Junkrat suddenly uttered a snore from where he had collapsed in the armchair, his hands still over his face in exhausted despair. Hog grumbled aloud, eyes rolling skyward behind his lenses. It wasn’t the first time that Rat’s poor sleeping habits had led to narcoleptic tendencies, but this time he couldn’t truly be irritated at him. This wasn’t from too many nights of shitty coffee and crumpled plans, but from desperately trying to attend an apparently-capricious infant on his very first foray being left alone.

It had been many decades ago, but Hog could still remember how fucking terrifying that had been, to be left alone with something so precious but so fucking fragile. There had been no sleep to be had then, either, when the baby had gotten sick while her mother was so far away, and he’d been Mako. Every cough or whimper she made had been like ice in his veins, barely able to grab an hour or two of sleep in as many days. He could remember being so tired that he’d fallen asleep rocking her, with the formula heating up on the stove, and had later awoken to the smell of burning milk in the kitchen and her coughing vomit into his lap.

Rat’s exhaustion was from a different source, but Hog knew what it could do to a man. Could drive someone crazy, or at least crazier than normal. Could you make you desperate to try so hard that you only made it even more difficult than before. Could have you run on fumes until you finally could fall apart and break down in the presence of someone you thought you could trust..even though he’d abandoned you weeks ago…

The little yellow-haired girl, the prawn, remained blissfully unaware of the turmoil. Her father had literally collapsed with her still attached to his chest, but that was hardly something she seemed worried about now. She’d become so distracted by the big blurry Hog sitting a few feet away that she’d forgotten to keep crying, and she reached for him again. He watched her. She was trying so hard to control those unwieldy little things that were her own limbs, impossibly small fingers curling and uncurling, trying to grasp and not understanding why nothing was there.

Hog remained very still, still watching her. Her arm lengthened, pushed out as far as she could get it from the confines of her carry-bag. Her cheerful little cartoon-printed onesie had been washed recently, still had little specks of lint and fuzz attached to the elastic around her wrist. She seemed baffled by the very concept of her own hand, her yellow eyes suddenly going into focus as she flexed her brittle little digits again, watching them move because she had wanted them to move. Undeterred by her lack of coordination, she reached out to try and touch the world around her.

The big blurry thing shifted in the far distance and rose upward, and Roadhog very slowly loomed closer. The lenses of his swine mask remained cold and blank, until they were caught in the sunbeam that dared to peek from behind the cloud cover, glowing white and yellow. His ‘face’, the one he had adopted in the wake of the apocalypse, was lit with terrifying clarity. An enormous hand, adorned with metal spikes and scars and chipped black nails, a hand that had crushed skulls and spattered blood and wrung the life out of so many, lifted up in front of her. One by one, his fingers curled, until there was only one thick and crooked index, held forth in front of her.

She smiled, and her tiny hand found his offered finger and closed upon it, gripping onto him.

It destroyed him more than the nuclear apocalypse ever had. Instead of scorching fire and bleached rock and bone, it was soft flesh and gentle warmth and potential, and everything else that had ever been stolen from out of the godforsaken desert he’d loved. It was all the ashes that had once poured out of the little blanket he’d tried to hold in his arms, when he’d found her in the wreckage and ruin of their home. Far greater than the treasure that Junkrat had dug out of the wastes all those fateful years ago, it was everything he’d tried to forget, and the one thing in existence that he’d truly fled from… And here she was, again. Even if it wasn’t her…

Mako sighed, lowering his head briefly and breathing deep.

He reached his other hand to awkwardly undo the straps that attached her to Rat’s chest. The ripping of velcro barely roused him at all, but when Hog started to lift the weight of the baby off of him, he launched out one skinny arm that immediately grappled onto his former partner-in-crime’s vest, the other covetously grasping his little girl back to him. Red-rimmed eyes shot open, teeth bared, and Rat was immediately in Hog’s face and ready to fight to the death.

“I’LL CRACK YA! YA WOT, MATE? YA WOT?!”

The girl started crying again.

Hog grumbled at the ruckus, but relented his grip and slowly lifted both hands in an extremely rare gesture of peace. “Rat. Wake up.”

There was a pause as Rat blinked strangely, his eyes not quite in sync. He wasn’t even truly awake, his reaction born of years of rough living and parental paranoia. Shuddering, the aggression evaporated from his stance, furrowed brows easing. He looked around them blearily, then placed a hand on the baby’s fluffy head and eased back into the chair again as he realized where he was. “Oh, s’just you. Were we doin’ something? Uh, what’s the time, I got to feed—”

Hog upnodded to the protesting prawn. “I’ll take her.”

“You?” Rat sneered in indignant disbelief. “You don’t know anything about sprog-rearin’. Dunno why I even came here. Didn’t know where else to go. There was nowhere else to go. I couldn’t… S’just…”

“I know a little. Give her here.”

Junkrat seemed understandably torn, eying his erstwhile partner with a look that Hog knew well, and knew better than to protest. Down beneath all the exhaustion and madness and radiation, all the scattered pieces of calculating genius scraped together in ways that nobody truly understood— least of all Rat himself. The cogs of his mind were clearly grinding, weighing pros and cons and sorting through delusions and realities. There was too much at stake to make the decision lightly.

Hog couldn’t be sure what led him to finally relent, as metal fingers loosened around the velcro straps of the carrier and his grasp uncoiled from around his precious onesie-wrapped bundle. The way he was looking at Hog was still very far from kind, but still he opened his arms and allowed her to be taken from him. Moving cautiously and slowly, Hog lifted the little girl off her father’s chest and deposited her into the crook of his elbow, folding one massive hand over top of her.

“You got her?” Rat fretted.

“I got her.”

“Hrnnghh! Well…! Huh. Actually handlin’ her all right, I guess. Surprised you’d know anything at all about handling babies.”

“…Used to know someone. He had a little girl.”

“Oh yeh? Is it anyone I know?”

“Not really.”

“You should give ‘em a ring, make introductions. Give my lil’ prawn a new playmate and whatnot! Gal pals!”

“Hm. Don’t think so. Not around anymore…And he wasn’t any good for her in the end.”

“Oh. Well then fuck him, I s’pose.”

“…Yeah.”

“Shame, I guess, about the girl. Probably she and my prawn might’ve been best mates!”

Hog looked down to where the baby was gurgling and mouthing at his knuckle. “Yeah. Think they woulda gotten along.”

Rat watched him like a hawk, not looking down even when he leaned to start undoing the wraps and clamps of his prosthetic limbs. There was a faint buzz as the old nerve receptors powered down and went dead, and Rat gingerly went to ease limbs off the stumps of his leg and arm. They looked red and chafed and raw, a far-too-familiar sight from where he’d worn them for too long without a break. He rubbed at what was left of his forearm, brows lowering.

“Going to explain why you bailed on me and mine, then? It’s been yonks since I spied hair or hair of ya. Mei kept on saying you’d come around in your own damn time…but you didn’t. And she kept saying to wait, I just gotta wait. And I thought maybe Mei was right because Mei’s fair dinkum and she’s right a lot, so I waited…and still you never showed. You never fucking did. And at first I was right cross about it all, but then…I started wondering why.”

Hog glanced up at him but said nothing.

Rat’s eerie gaze remained fixated, pupils narrowed to little pricks of black on yellow. “We’ve bashed around for years, mate— years! And we’ve seen some shit together. How many people have I seen you kill? I watched you face down two of the top brass from Junkertown on your land when they came for me, and you didn’t even flinch. Never seen you scared of anything. So I thought it was something I’d done. But wasn’t that either, was it? Fockin’ hell, how many bullets have I had to pluck from the meat of your arse or run to get them gas cans when you couldn’t breathe? And you changed my sheets and even cleaned out the thunderbucket from that time I got dead-real sick in that shack outside of Dooniwop. Not too many blokes would do that. Probably lots of other times I’ve forgotten, too. We’ve been true blue up until now.”

“…Hmm.”

“So what makes someone like you…” He lifted his remaining hand to point at Hog. “Scared of someone like her?” It tilted down to the little bundle in the cartoon onesie.

Hog looked back down to the girl, still quiet. For a long time he simply didn’t answer, unwilling or unable to put it into the right words. He lifted one meaty shoulder in a rather helpless shrug that did not at all suit someone like the one-man apocalypse. “Hmmmh…”

“It’s not me or Mei, is it? It’s my prawn. You’ve been running scared of my prawn for over two months now, and it’s not because of the crying or the nappies or the spitting up or the baby things. It’s somethin’ else about her…It’s somethin’ that’s happened before her…”

Junkrat eyed him again, in the same way as before. Whatever might have been going on in that strange head of his, this time he wasn’t telling. And when the prawn started fussing and whimpering again from Hog’s arm, there wasn’t time to confront the matter further. At least, not for now.

There was simply no time. Rat was already stressed back into action, sliding onto the floor and rummaging through the diaper bag until he came up with a smaller pack, digging a bottle out of it. “Put a pin in that for now, Roadie, we’re in the shit. Still got to get her ready before Nan suspects anything or tells Mei I can’t do this. Fuck, she’s cryin’ again, they can’t hear her cryin’…”

“Give it here. I’ll heat it up.” Hog was glad to be distracted from the conversation and held out his free hand, the bottle plonked into his palm.

“Right, right, right. Okay. Go heat that up, I’ll feed her. Not too hot! Then I’ll get her in a bath, wash her arse, put her up in one of those fancy baby dresses Mei likes. Pose her for some slick photography with her favorite roo stuffie, ya know, for proof of life…” He dug his arm about in the bag, growing more and more frantic. “Wait, where’s her roo? Where the hell is the roo! Mei’s gonna see her without the roo and she’ll know I’ve forgotten it and then she’ll start questioning all the other things I forgot and then she’ll think I’ve somehow faked the pictures, like I got a fake baby that I may or may not have made out of some of her extra clothes and some pillowcases just in case anything happened, not that I’m saying anything happened—!”

“Rat.”

“What!”

“Sit down. Gonna go heat this up. I’ll be back.”

“Will ya be back this time?!”

“Yeah.”

“…Will ya?”

“Yeah. I will.”

Rat made a strange noise, pulling the diaper bag into his lap and continuing his search as he collapsed back onto the sofa. Roadhog sighed and trundled off into the kitchen, filling a pot with water and setting it to warm. He’d done it a thousand times, too many years ago, but still remembered the order. He tested the water, dropped in the bottle, and rocked the little girl that was now bicycle-kicking her legs against his chest and not-quite-laughing.

Hog snorted down at her. “Guess we know which side you got that from,” he said, heading back into the den. “Your girl’s going to be a terror one day—”

Junkrat was asleep again, both arms locked around the bag, his face smushed into a pile of baby clothes and the zipper already pressing indents into his cheek, the missing toy kangaroo wedged into the sofa down by his remaining leg. Roadhog stared down at him for a moment, then placed the kangaroo by his pillow and meandered off again, shutting the door behind him. He waited for the milk to heat, watching the timer and only becoming distracted when he noticed a very small hand reaching up for him again.

The prawn was focused on his face, or what had become his face. Adjusting her up along his arm, he allowed chubby little fingers to clumsily grasp at the rim of the mask’s filter, though he felt nothing from their touch. He rasped in a breath, which seemed to startle her for the first time, and he saw how her eyes widened and she looked suddenly offended.

“Don’t think much of that?” he asked.

“Mmmmnn!” she said, still flailing.

He reached up and very gently took hold of her hand, lowering it away. “Hmm. Guess not. Don’t think she would’ve liked it much either. Didn’t like loud noises. Got scared easier than you do…”

He leaned his head down, undoing the buckles and straps that held the mask onto his head. Its filters hissed as it depressurized and the burn of real air returned with the smell of milk and talcum powder, the scratches and fogged glass of the lenses giving way to almost-clearer vision, looking down at her. Again her eyes tried to focus as she peered back, squinting and furrowing, unfamiliar with the leathery swine-monster above her becoming someone entirely different.

When she reached for him again, he didn’t stop her. Unwieldy little fingers touched the white bristles around his chin, the deep scars and the burns, and the chapped flesh of what was left of his lower lip. This one was still so young, even younger than she had been. He could still remember every moment of it; when she had first learned how to work her hands, how to look between faces, how to smile and laugh, and how to bring her hands together and squeal happily when she heard him singing her favorite songs…like the one about the baby bumblebees…

The timer chimed and he reached to take the milk bottle from the water, wiping it off and testing it on his wrist before transferring her back down into the crook of his elbow. Rat had said that she was being fussy lately, somewhere during his ranting, and Hog wasn’t surprised when she tried to turn her nose up at the offering.

“Hey,” Hog said, the baritone of his voice thrumming deep as she looked up at him again.

He tried to hum, the same tune that his own girl had loved so much— that tune about the baby bumblebees. But he could barely manage a few notes before something old and tired and long-buried lurched in the darkness of his chest and he swallowed the song back down until it hurt, like those bumblebees were stinging him in the throat. He cleared them away with a rumbling cough, briefly placing a hand over his mouth. It had been too many years since he’d sung it, or not enough.

“…Maybe a different one,” he told her. “Know one about the kookaburra.”

Maybe it was the thunder of his voice or the tune about the kookaburra itself, but she seemed entranced when he began to hum. When he offered the bottle again, she stilled her fussing and took it with no more trouble, yellow eyes drifting shut. The bottle steadily drained until she belched against the cloth on his shoulder and yawned with a high squeaking noise like a snared rabbit. He replaced her in the crook of his elbow, and she opened her eyes long enough to smile up at him. Hog almost smiled back.

But then her smile turned into toothless grin, and she promptly passed gas at him before immediately falling asleep, just as abruptly as her father had in the next room over.

He stifled a chuckle, leaning his face away. “Eugh…Yeah, that’s from Mei all right. Might need the mask after all.” He tossed the empty bottle aside and stood, heading back into the den for his armchair and his book, and to keep watch while they rested.

***

Mei trotted up the ramp with her suitcase, and spotted the extremely unmistakable beanpole frame of Junkrat waiting for her. She brightened and waved, hurrying her step with the hovers on her case struggling to rattle after her. “Jamie, zhè biān! Over here!”

One extremely frazzled-looking junker turned at the sound of her voice, his customary grin only able to make it halfway across his face as he opened both long arms. She enthusiastically threw herself into them, and his grip coiled and tightened as he buried his nose into her hair, sighing aloud before he began to plaster her face with irritating kisses while she squealed and batted him away just how he liked. Only then did he rear back up to his full height, keeping one arm draped over her shoulder. “How are ya, darl?”

“It’s good to be back. That was such a long week! Um, n-not that I was worried or anything, I know you said things were fine. I got the little video you and Ana sent of her with her little zebra sweater, so cute! And she took the bottles okay? Was she—”

“Aaah-haha-ha! Nope! Everything was fiiiiine! It’s just…ya know. Prawn’s a vivacious girl and it was…uh. Ya know, she’s kinda got a stubborn streak and I— Uh, maybe you could just not leave again? Ever? Just a joke! But really!” He rubbed nervously at his neck, then blinked when there was a pull at his arm, leaning down to where Mei could plant another kiss on his cheek. Some of the tiredness melted away, his shaky smile steadying. “Ah, heh!”

“I know it must have been hard. It was hard with two of us. I hope you weren’t being too hard on yourself? Like I said, you can always ask for help when you get tired. I know I ended up crying in the bathroom more than once because I was so tired.”

“Mighta been a little more difficult than I’d been crowing. Only a little, though!”

“But…it’s easier with help? I heard you had help?” She lowered her voice scandalously as they walked, looking around as if expecting someone to interrupt them at any moment. “Really? I guess I’m a little surprised that it was Mr. Roadhog. Is everything okay between you two? Was everything okay with her?”

“Honestly, love, I got no idear how it went. Apparently I passed out on his lounger for about six hours straight before he woke me up so I could go get more bottles for her. Was acting all weird about her at first, all…squirrely-like. But when I wake up, she’s fed, burped, changed, and absolutely smitten with the big lug. Ya know, you’d almost think ol’ Pigface has got more experience than he’s let on!”

“W-well, it’s not really our place to… But he was okay with her, is the main thing? She didn’t bother him? And you were able to sleep? It sounds like you might have needed a little break.”

Junkrat turned upon her, wild-eyed. “N-no! No, it was all fine! Didn’t even need to sleep! Who told you that!”

“You did?”

“Well fuck me, then! Yeah nah, I had everything under control! Well, me and maybe a bit of help on the down-low from Uncle Roadie. And the prawn was sheer perfection, not a misstep, absolute angel, definitely didn’t explode a tornado of shit that somehow managed to miss her entire fucking diaper or anything! Speaking of!” He leaned down to snatch up her bag, pushing her in front of him as they rounded the corner. “Think I ain’t the only one what’s happy to see you back.”

Mei’s entire person lit up, even prettier than when his bombs went off. She dropped the handle of her suitcase and broke into a jog, then into a run, right up to the enormous figure of Roadhog, and the cushioned carrier he held in one hand. He upnodded and grunted a little greeting sound, but she only managed a very distracted semi-response before she set upon the carrier with both hands, pulling at straps and plastic buckles until she was finally able to lift the little girl back into her embrace after so long away.

She laughed to herself as she rocked her, covering the little wisps of blond hair with kisses. “Oh no! Nǐ zěn gǎn! You were asleep when I left and you’re asleep when I come back too! Terrible, terrible manners. You could at least say hello.” She pressed another kiss to her forehead, holding her tightly, voice entirely without malice as she scolded her.

The prawn mumbled to herself and stirred but remained asleep through the torrent, sucking on the rubber pacifier, as Mei shook her head and turned up to where Roadhog was peering down at them in his usual silent menace. A quick glance backward saw Junkrat still struggling with the handle to her case, so she took a moment to lean up towards him. “I promised I won’t pry, Mr. Roadhog, honestly I won’t. But I guess I was surprised to see you in those photos with her. I know Jamie won’t admit he was having some trouble with her but… I’m glad he went to find you. I just want to know if you’re okay with her? With everything?”

“Wasn’t in the plan. Was hard. Thought those days were long gone. But Rat needed help. And she’s…” Hog shrugged, rumbling a low sigh before lifting the empty carrier. “She’s all right.”

“Then, thank you. From both of us. Thank you so much.”

There was a loud clatter from behind them. “Ow! Where’s the latch for the hovers! Fuckin’ thing!”

“Oh, here! I’ll get it, sometimes it sticks!” Mei placed one last kiss to the prawn’s head before very carefully placing her back into the carrier, moving to help him where the hover pad had gotten stuck and the entire case now trying to roll around in circles. “No, no, it’s going left, hold it still!”

“Head it off at the pass, darl! It’s goin’ rogue!”

Hog watched them laugh and dissolve into more arguments while their daughter slept through it all, leaning down to strap the little girl back in and cover her snoring body with her blanket again. She might not have been awake for Mei’s reunion, but there would be time later. And Rat was perking up back into his old self again, where he had thrown himself bodily onto Mei’s suitcase and was trying to wrestle the hover port closed again while Mei pulled at his leg and yelled for him ‘not to hurt it’.

They were both looking a little flushed by the time they had straightened it out, and Mei retrieved her suitcase while Rat had firmly wrapped one arm about her once more. When they returned, Hog caught the little glances towards one another, and where Mei was subtly trying to shoo his hand away from her rear. She cleared her throat and adjusted her glasses as her gaze darted to the little sleeper in the carrier, sighing aloud when the prawn only fussed a little at the noise, turned her head the other way, and went right back to sleep.

Hog half-lifted the carrier and made his offer, lifting his head very subtly to Rat. “…She’s asleep. Just ate. Probably going to nap for a while. Could keep her for a bit.” Just as he thought, Mei looked a little disappointed, but he knew she wouldn’t have time to mope for long. He wasn’t entirely sure if Rat had caught his signal or if the younger junker was just being as lecherous as normal, but Rat was quick to seize the opportunity.

“Y’hear that, darl? Prawn’s a champion napper, might be a while. We uh…we got some time? Ya know, I ain’t seen you for a week.” He promptly returned to trying to squeezing at her side and lowered his voice into a hoarse ‘whisper’ that was still audible to everyone around them. “Prawn’s not the only one who’s been looking forward to those tits again…”

“Jamison!” She hissed, before coughing sheepishly and hugging her suitcase like a shield. Likely she would never get used to the junkers’ ‘open’ style of approach. “I-I mean, we shouldn’t inconvenience Mr. Roadhog, and I haven’t seen her—”

“She’ll wake up later on, can get right back on track. But I mean, uh…ya know, if we got time.”

She looked torn. “No, we shouldn’t, we shouldn’t impose…”

Hog snorted and glanced down at her. “Offering. She’s asleep. You got a good sleeper. You got time. Take it.”

Junkrat nosed at her hair, practically salivating. “Oh, she’s gonna take it…”

“JAMISON!” Her face lit up pink. “O-oh! Well I guess…I guess if she’s going to be napping for a while and you don’t mind taking her? Just for a little bit! Um, I guess if…Will you message me the moment she wakes up, though?”

“Yeah. I will.”

Mei offered him a grateful but embarrassed smile, and Junkrat gave him a much more grateful and much less embarrassed smile as well. Mumbling words of both apologies and thanks, she grasped onto Rat’s hand and let him drag her away. Their arms looped around each other in that awkward manner, too tall and too short and determined to make it work despite. Even while Hog watched them go, Rat goosed at her bottom and she slapped his arm, then leaned her head up against him while he laughed uproariously at some joke or other. They turned another corner and were gone, headed back to their home together.

Hog was left alone once more… Or, not alone. Not this time.

The prawn squeaked out another yawn from her carrier and he glanced down at where she shifted in the throes of brand-new dreams. He placed his finger in her open palm, and her fist curled and closed and held on as she stilled once more. He waited until she was pacified, patiently tucking in the blanket again before lifting up her carrier and heading off back to his own home. It was likely she’d be asleep for a while longer yet, and they had time before everything devolved back into chaos.

“Come on,” he told her. “Gonna stay with Uncle Roadhog a while longer.”

Best to enjoy those moments while they could. They were moments you’d never get back, no matter how much he’d give to have them back again. But he had this, at least for now. And it was all right.

It was all right.

[bad-at-names-and-faces]

Home

Chapter 22

chapter index

Anna walked into the bedroom with a letter. “Elsa says they’ll be returning in three days.”

“That will be nice,” Kristoff whispered as he stood by the window rocking the baby.

“She asks if the bishop will be available,” she commented wrinkling her nose, “that’s odd.” 

“What? Inga was set against the…matchmaking.” Kristoff barely avoided raising his voice.

“Huh?” Anna looked confused.  “No, no… Elizabeth’s family is returning with them, as well as that young man’s mother, you know, what’s his name? The one who works for Corona’s ambassador.”

“Oh,” Kristoff sighed in relief, bouncing a little more to settle the baby again. “That makes sense. You’ve had enough meetings now.  What do you think of him?”

“I don’t know,” she mused. “He’s very professional, which means he hardly talks, since I’m meeting with the Ambassador.  There’s something about him, though. I can’t quite put my finger on it.  Maybe I should have met him when he didn’t have so much work to do.”

Kristoff smiled.  “He does take himself seriously.  Perhaps we can convince the Ambassador to give him a week off and lend the cabin as something of a wedding present.”

“How will His Excellency manage?” Anna laughed.

***

Inga leaned out over the front of the ship, trying to take deep breaths.  She could still feel the motion in spite of the ginger candy that Elizabeth’s mother had given her.  It works wonders, she had assured Inga.  It had helped her somewhat. She didn’t feel absolutely sick, as long as she didn’t try to actually do anything other than stare off into the distance.  She saw something flutter in the corner of her vision.

“Aunt Elsa?” she asked without moving her head.

“Inga, how are you feeling?” her aunt answered, putting her hand on her shoulder. 

“Better,” she mumbled. “Did you tell mother how miserable I’ve been?”

“I’ll let you do that yourself,” her aunt promised, “and if you’re fine here, I’ll leave you alone now.”

Inga nodded as her aunt left, and felt just well enough to sit on a bench along the wall behind her, and dozed in and out. She thought of the conversation with Henry, and how his father had stayed in Arendelle while his mother traveled with her mother and aunt. But why had she never heard about any of that before? It made no sense. It may not have been the most exciting of trips, but Henry’s father had found it worth sharing. Inga could hear the waves crashing, and occasionally hear people walking by, but wasn’t always sure if she was awake or asleep.

“...and you can return to Arendelle now,” Elsa was saying to someone as Inga began to be aware of her surroundings again.

“That’s true, I suppose.  Are you sure no one would find it… odd?” Inga heard Mrs. Nilsen ask, but she wasn’t sure when she had joined her aunt up on the top deck.

“No, and I’ll make sure Kai is aware of it…” Elsa began to assure her as they walked away, their voices fading into the sound of the waves crashing.  

Inga sat up slowly and watched the two walk around the back of the ship.  She thought about finding Elizabeth and her sisters, but decided to close her eyes first, and quickly dozed off again.

***

Anna sat back and drummed her fingers on the arm of her chair.  She wasn’t sure her presence was actually needed at this meeting.  She would sign off on continuing the ongoing relationship with the Corona Navy that they were currently discussing.  She had given up on getting any update on the new succession bill, especially since now she was “out of danger,” as they liked to put it.  She was sure that at some point in the next year or two one of the council members would propose a compromise measure of some sort that would satisfy no one completely but which she would end up signing for lack of any alternative.  

Arrnedelle’s Fleet Admiral was standing at one end of the table emphasizing his argument. “I believe that we should phase out our payments to Corona, now that Arendelle’s navy is-”

“But, Admiral, with all due respect, Arendelle’s navy-” Corona’s ambassador began.

“Your Excellency,” Captain von der Decken interrupted, “I do believe that Arendelle's navy is no longer, as our own admiral had once impoliticly put it, hardly worthy of a coast guard. Please excuse me, Admiral, I mean no offense, but you know what I’m talking about.” 

“No offense taken, Captain,” the Admiral replied.  “I understand that Arendelle has relied on the Corona Navy for quite a while now, and we could make faster progress on Arendelle’s navy if we didn’t have to send so much money to Corona.  There hasn’t been a direct attack on Arendelle for decades.  Why are we still paying out pensions?” 

“With all due respect, Admiral,” the Ambassador said, glancing between his secretary and the lieutenant who was taking notes for the Captain, “death in battle is not the only reason to pay out a pension.” 

“Excuse me, Your Excellency, Admiral,” Anna spoke up, looking at her fleet admiral and the ambassador, “I was not aware we were paying pensions to Corona.  Would one of you kindly explain the arrangement?”

“Your Majesty,” the Admiral spoke first, “your sister made the arrangement near the beginning of her reign.  I believe it was for… delicate reasons, as you might understand.”

“I see,” Anna replied, instantly thinking of at least a dozen reasons her sister might have done this, none of which she wanted to bring up with so many people around. “In that case, we should honor prior agreements, but I believe there is no reason to agree to any new payments.”

“Thank you, Your Majesty,” the Admiral nodded.

“Your Excellency,” Anna looked to the ambassador.  “Do you have any objections to this?”

“No objections, Your Majesty,” the Ambassador conceded. His secretary shifted in his seat slightly, glancing at the Captain and lieutenant.

“Very well,” she told them.  “If no one has any urgent business, I declare this meeting adjourned.”

The council nodded, and began to gather their things.  Anna walked over to the men from Corona.  

“Your Majesty!” the Ambassador exclaimed as he saw her approaching.

“Your Excellency,” she acknowledged, “I was actually hoping to speak with your secretary, briefly, although I suppose it affects you, too.”

“Your Majesty?” the young man asked, looking up from his scrawled papers.

“I see His Excellency didn’t pick you for your penmanship,” she smiled.  The Lieutenant and captain both laughed loudly, startling Anna a bit.  “Oh, yes, you’re his brother, aren’t you?” she asked, turning around.

“Yes, Your Majesty,” the Lieutenant replied.  “And if this is related to what I think it's related to, the Captain here is probably also interested.”

“Oh?” she questioned.  “I mean, of course.  You’re Elizabeth’s father, aren’t you?  I’ve been hearing nice things about her.  My daughter Inga doesn’t… she doesn’t exactly make friends easily, so please take that as high praise.”

“Thank you, Your Majesty,” the Captain smiled. “I understand that your sister will be returning with my wife and other daughters?” 

“Yes, that is what she told me.  And, of course, your daughter isn’t yet twenty-one, so she’ll need your approval, but my sister will also make sure all arrangements happen smoothly.” 

“My wife and I both approve of the match,” the Captain agreed, then gesturing at Lars and the Lieutenant, “and I can’t imagine that their mother will find any objection, either.” 

“Ah, of course,” she looked over to Lars. “I understand you’re not yet twenty-one, either?”

“No, Your Majesty,” Lars nodded.

She looked and saw the ambassador beginning to exit the room.  “Your Excellency,” she called over, “one last thing, would you be willing to give the young man some time off?”

“Your Majesty?” the Ambassador asked in confusion. “Do you wish to deprive me of my private secretary?”

“Well, Your Excellency,” Anna addressed him, doing her best to remain serious, “it’s usually customary to give a couple some time to themselves when they get married.”

“Well, yes, but-” 

“You see,” she interrupted him, “my husband would like to gift them a week in the cabin we own near here, for something of a honeymoon.”

“I see, Your Majesty.  If His Highness wishes it, I will not object,” the Ambassador conceded.

Lars stood, astonished. 

“If Mr. Nilsen doesn’t object,” Anna added.

“Of course not, Your Majesty,” he replied. “Thank you.”

“I’m not the one you should be thanking,” she smiled. 

“Your Majesty,” the Ambassador interjected, “with all due respect, this will complicate my job during that time.”

“Mr. Meyer,” the Captain called to the Ambassador with a laugh, “I’d be willing to part with my lieutenant for a week.  He doesn’t quite have the education of his brother, but you’ll have less eye strain from reading his notes.”

“There,” Anna spoke up, “I believe everything is settled now.  I wish you all a good evening.” 

***

Lars sat with his brother at Hudson’s Hearth, where they had met for dinner several times over the last few weeks. 

“I hope you don’t mind working for the Ambassador for a week,” Lars laughed.

“Why, is there anything I need to worry about?” Karl asked him.

“Oh, not really,” Lars told him, “he’s not quite as pompous in person as he is at official functions.  Watch what you say, though.  He definitely fancies himself as some kind of schemer.”

“All he can learn from me is the workings of the Corona navy,” his brother scoffed.  “And if he hasn’t learned anything about Arendelle from you, he’s certainly not going to learn anything from me.”

A young man brought them each a glass of beer.  They quietly toasted before taking a drink.

“Do you remember any of Mother’s stories?” Lars asked. The question had been nagging at him since he’d first started talking to people around Arendelle.

“Nothing more than you remember.  I told you in the letter after you wrote about it last month, and my answer isn’t going to change. And I don’t remember Father, either, since I’m sure that’s what you’ll ask next. After all, I wasn’t even a year old,” Karl sighed. “You know, of course, the most likely thing is that Mother and Father were rather ordinary and unknown.”

“And our father chose a good time to die, I suppose,” Lars smirked.

Karl raised an eyebrow. “That’s kind of dark even for you, Lars.”  He took another swig of beer.  “True, though.”

“You think I’m dark?” Lars prodded.

“Not with Mother, I know, and I’m pretty sure you don’t talk like that with Elizabeth,” his brother assured him.  “Nothing wrong with a dark joke now and then, but that’s why I’m in the navy and you’re the diplomat: You know when a joke is in poor taste.”

They sat silently drinking their beers. 

“So, Karl.” Lars broke their silence. “When are you getting married?”

“Who would I marry?” Karl smirked.

“Is there anyone?”

“Perhaps,” Karl winked. “I’m in a good position now. That’s one thing, really. It doesn’t matter if Mother and Father weren’t important.  You and I have done well for ourselves.  Life isn’t always like the novels Elizabeth has you reading.  Some things aren’t actually that interesting.”

“You’re dodging my question, aren’t you?” Lars laughed.

“No, not really.  Like I was saying, some things aren’t that interesting. I suppose I’ll be more like our father, and wait a little longer to find someone to settle down with.  We can’t all be hopeless romantics, you know.”

***

The ship arrived in Arendelle that Monday morning, right on schedule. Inga was once again eager to get back on dry land, and wasn’t sure she ever wanted to return to sea. Frederick still loved everything about sailing, and was itching to get back to it as soon as he could find an excuse. 

The entire Royal Family was waiting when they got off the ship. There was some noisy confusion as no one could decide who to run up and hug first.  Questions and declarations were shouted over one another, and no one could quite remember what had been asked and answered. The trunks were carried off the ship to the castle, and the family slowly made their way back.

Elizabeth’s family reunited more quietly. Her father walked over from his ship, and made sure to send Lieutenant Nilsen to fetch his brother away from the ambassador so that Mrs. Nilsen could see both of her sons at once. 

Mrs. Nilsen was overwhelmed to see them when they arrived at the harbor. It had been entirely too long since she had seen Karl, and she wasn’t used to going so long without seeing Lars.  She remarked on how much had changed since her days there.  Elizabeth’s mother and sisters had followed their father on a tour of the town, but Elizabeth stayed back. 

“Mrs. Nilsen,” Elizabeth prompted, “where did you live before you left Arendelle? Lars and Karl have no idea.”

“Oh,” she hesitated. “It wasn’t much. So much has changed, I don’t know if I’d even recognize it.”

“But surely you remember where it was!” Elizabeth insisted, “And it couldn’t have been far. They said you lived in town.  Maybe you can show us?  Lars, wouldn’t you like to see?”

Lars looked at Elizabeth, then at Mrs. Nilsen. “Yes, I’ve been using some of my free time walking around trying to guess.  I’ve gotten Karl into it, too.”

“If everyone else wants to, I’ll come along,” his brother declared.

“Very well, my dears,” she sighed, “it was this way.” 

Lars and Karl looked at each other and turned and followed their mother as she walked along the harbor to a row of low doors.  They were brightly painted, and there were planters with bright summer flowers separating the homes from the street.

“It’s this one,” Mrs. Nilsen gestured at the third door in.  “It hadn’t been painted in several years when we lived there, and the entire street was less… decorated.”  

“It looks quite cozy,” Elizabeth offered, trying to think of something positive to say.

“It was,” Mrs. Nilsen smiled, then looked distracted. “Of course, once Jan died, even keeping up a place this small was going to be a stretch.”

“Were you not always sure of having the pension?” Elizabeth asked.

“Oh, of course, once the pension was secured…” she trailed off.  After a moment, she perked up.  “Karl, perhaps we should let these two catch up a bit more?” She took Karl’s arm, and directed him to walk with her along the harbor, leaving Lars and Elizabeth alone.

“She still gets sad about that, doesn’t she?” Elizabeth mused.

“It was difficult,” Lars speculated as they walked the opposite direction. “That was really more than she’s said in, well, probably twenty years.”

“I thought she talked about the past with you,” Elizabeth spoke, thinking out loud more than anything.

“She’d tell stories and sometimes sing songs, but not much about day to day life.”

They walked quietly, arm in arm, back toward the castle. Elizabeth noticed a bright red leaf on one of the trees.

"I don't think I've seen the leaves change this early in Corona," she remarked as they crossed to the castle. 

"If you look up in the mountains, you can see a lot more," he commented.

"We'll have to try to get up there before it's too cold, if you have time," she smiled. 

"Actually," he blushed, "I'm going to get an entire week off after the wedding, and we get to stay in the royal family's cabin."

"We… just… you and me?" 

“Who else do you want on our honeymoon?” he laughed, kissing her forehead.

***

Inga sat on the bench in the garden, with Sofia and Marie crowding her.  Sofia asked most of the questions, but Marie was listening intently, fascinated by everything.  Sofia was determined to have her older sister show them every new item of clothing, but for now, Inga was more than happy to enjoy the garden, especially when the weather wouldn’t allow it for much longer.

Frederick was with Peder and Anton at their favorite climbing tree actively miming the sailing techniques he had learned on the trip.  Inga watched with interest, not having been able to enjoy the actual thing.  

“The Bishop wants to meet with them tomorrow,” Inga heard her mother say. “Isabel is marrying the Captain of the Guard in a few days, so the Bishop’s schedule is a bit busy.”

“And don’t forget Peder and Anton’s birthday party on Saturday. They were telling me all about it,” Inga piped in.

“Oh, I suppose so,” her mother replied. “But that’s not the Bishop’s concern.”

“And I suppose they’re not going to schedule the wedding quite that soon,” Inga allowed.

***

The next morning, the Bishop had his meeting with Lars and Elizabeth, along with Mrs. Nilsen and Captain and Mrs. von der Decken.  If their parents had any concerns, they didn’t express them.  Since both were underage, not yet being twenty-one, they would need their parents' consent, but the Bishop  was satisfied and the wedding was scheduled for the following week on Tuesday.

Outside, Inga was responsible for introducing Elizabeth’s sisters to the General and Halima’s wards.  They began talking with each other almost instantly, except for Meibel, who was busy listening to Frederick’s stories of their trip, which seemed to focus almost exclusively on sailing.  The older girls made sure that they would all be at each wedding the coming week, and Elizabeth’s sisters agreed to come to the twins’ birthday party, since Isabel, Kate, and Edith wanted some company, and it would be something to do in between the weddings.

“So, Inga,” Diana spoke up, touching Inga’s arm, nearly startling her. “When can we expect your wedding?”

“Huh?” Inga blinked in surprise. “I have no idea what-”

“What’s this?” Edith interrupted excitedly.

“No, no…” Inga protested.

“Well, Edith,” Diana explained, “from what I heard-”

“What did Elizabeth tell you?” Inga cut in.

“Oh, we couldn’t get anything out of our sister,” Ruth laughed, “but practically everyone else was talking about Prince Henry sneaking off during the ball with the princess from Arendelle.”

Inga felt herself turning red.  She racked her brain trying to remember if there had been anything besides going out on the balcony that anyone might comment on.  Would they even say anything to her face?  She knew that trying to deny anything or explain what actually happened would only make things worse.  

“If there’s any news, I’m sure you’ll hear it before I do,” she snapped.

She turned away in a huff, looking absentmindedly toward the castle gate.  It was a relief to know Elizabeth hadn’t gone spreading rumors.  She didn’t think her friend would be the sort to spread stories.  

As she stared in the distance, Inga caught herself wondering when she would get a reply to her letter, and silently scolded herself.  It wasn’t like that, she reminded herself.  She wrote the letter to him because there were things they could learn from each other.  She didn’t need to worry herself.  People concocted stories out of thin air all the time.   

[cecilspeaks]

154 - The Heist, part 2

You have orbited the sun. You have been to the Milky Way galaxy. You have seen the moon. You are an astronaut. Welcome to Night Vale.

The Sheriff’s Secret Police announced today that they have no new leads into the ongoing investigation of the robbery at the Last Bank of Night Vale. The three people who stormed into the bank, held the staff and single customer at gunpoint, but did not at first even ask for any cash from the registers’ drawers. And yet in only a few minutes, and with no damage to or forced entry into the vault, they had managed to steal millions of dollars from it. Sheriff Sam described the details of the robbery as follows. 

The robbers entered the bank repeatedly shouting “This is a robbery” and waving their guns around. After a minute or so, teller Genevieve Daly finally asked: “Do you want me to give you money?” “Um, yes,” the robbers decided. “We want you to give us money.” “How much money?” Genevieve asked. “How much do you have?” the robbers replied. Genevieve then had to count the money in her till, which took a while, because bank protocol requires that tellers count the money multiple times, until the total amount matches twice in a row. But on her second count, Genevieve was two dollars off from her first, so she had to start over. “Hang on,” she told the masked intruders, “gotta do it again.” “No worries, the robbers said, truly looking like they were not worried. Customer Joel Eisenberg, who had dropped face down on the floor the moment guns were drawn, immediately handed over his wallet to the robbers. “What’s this for?” the robbers asked Joel. “You’re robbers, aren’t you?” Joel said, careful not to look directly into their eyes. “I’m giving you my money, not trouble.” “Cool, cool,” the robbers said without looking in the wallet. Genevieve’s manager, Susan Willman, stood behind her new employee nervously explaning to the thieves, “I don’t have access to the vault. I-I-I don’t know the combination.” “That’s fine,” the robbers said. The security guard on duty that day and every day for the last 50 years was Jesse McNeil. Jesse does not carry a gun, so he couldn’t intervene, but he has always been known for his friendly charm and grace. He tried the old “kill them with kindness” approach by complimenting the fine work the robbers were doing. “I understand you’re robbing our bank,” Jesse said. The robbers cooed and said, “What a nice thing to say, old man, thank you.” “You can’t tell because we are wearing plastic masks of former US presidents,” said the robber with the face of Richard Nixon, “but we are blushing, kind sir.” Within minutes, the Sheriff’s Secret Police had arrived. “Who called the police?” the robbers asked, but without urgency, as if it was the first table read of a pilot TV script. “I did not,” Susan and Genevieve said at the same time. “I left my phone in my car,” Joel said from the floor. “I am sitting in a chair by the door,” Jesse said and the robbers guffawed at the audacity of this old man, so highly complimenting himself. “Well we have to take hostages now,” the robber said and soon, the police had entered the bank. There was a brief shootout with no injuries, and the robbers were apprehended and the hostages freed shortly thereafter. There was also a fire that engulfed the front of the bank, which helped their efforts to arrest the perpetrators, but police do not understand how it started. They believed it was a diversion, during which time the criminals were able to empty the vault. But they have no leads yet on where this money was taken or how they got into the vault. 

The only other person in the bank that day was vice president Steve Carlsberg, who was not taken hostage, because he had accidentally locked himself in his office. Oh, Steve. Steve said that he eventually kicked his door open, breaking his foot in the process. Oh, Steve! He got free, but only after the criminals had been arrested and the fire extinguished.

None of the three robbers is talking to the police, even after their HBO privileges were taken away from them, so the sheriff is asking anyone in Night Vale with information about this heist to contact him immediately. You can do this by calling the Sheriff’s Secret Police secret tip line, which can be reached by just speaking aloud. They are one of the several organizations that have universal access to your phone’s mic and camera.

I talked to Carlos today. He’s been running his experiments over at my sister Abby’s new house, in an old storage shed out back because, well his laboratory is under renovations and he was making such a huge mess over here with all of his chemicals staining everything. Abby is, of course, married to Steve Carlsberg who is home from the hospital with the cast on his foot. Carlos told me Steve is fine. He is having a hard time adjusting to crutches and he’s still shaken by the whole experience. But he’s focused on rebuilding the bank and getting everyone back to work. He’s been inviting his employees over for lunch this week, to keep everyone on task for reopening the bank, and to treat them to his famous medium rare rosemary chicken recipe.

Carlos said he had met Susan Willman several times before. “She’s delightful,” Carlos said, which I’m sure I misread. He’s also met Jesse before too. “Oh, he’s always over there, real nice guy,” Carlos said. “He once told me, ‘you’re a scientist’, and it was the kindest thing anyone’s ever said to me. So I showed him my lab and just talked his ear off about my doorless fridge project. Jesse got so excited he had to leave after only 15 minutes.” Carlos said that since the robbery, though, Jesse has not looked as cheerful or healthy. Jesse looks sick, like he’s nauseated.

Carlos said he joined the crew for lunch today and cheered them all up with funny stories about science, but he’s taking a break from his experiments and should be home early today. Carlos ran out of the chemicals he needed to continue his work, and has to wait a few more days to get more. “I thought I has plenty of it,” Carlos said, “I calculated exactly how much I needed, but it wasn’t near enough. Well, this is why I studied science instead of math. “Anyway, Steve’s going to be fine,” Carlos said. “I love you.” And I said, “I love you too.” You might think that last part wasn’t necessary for the news story, but it was. Love is the most important news story.

The Sheriff’s Secret Police have announced a breakthrough in their bank robbery investigation. They’ve been interviewing witnesses and combing through their notes and evidence, and they think they have figured out exactly what happened at the bank. They’re planning a full report later today. They had the report ready to go now, but right when they started the press conference, they realized that they probably should make an arrest first, and also because in their excitement to make this announcement, every single person on the police force showed up, leaving the abandoned mine shaft where they keep prisoners unattended, which is probably fine because the cells are all completely locked, but - wow, you never know, right? Better safe than sorry. “Hoo wee,” the representative from the Secret Police said, “We really should go check on that jail. My bad!”

And now a word from our sponsors. Today’s show is brought to you by Budweiser. Have you ever wondered about that house at the end of your street, the one with the windows boarded up? The one that does ever receive sunshine? The one with the incongruous Victorian architecture in your otherwise ranch style tract home suburb? Have you ever dared your friends to spend a night in that house? And they did it, because they don’t like being called weak, and then they re-emerged the next day completely normal as if nothing had happened, only something did happen? Like you couldn’t tell at first because your friend was like, “It was just a house, totally boring”, but you started noticing weird things in their behavior, like they suddenly were fluent in Romanian and they would whisper it to someone you could not see? And then there was that time your friend laughed for 10 straight minutes, and you did not know why, never learned why, and when they finished laughing, all of the trees in your neighborhood were dead? Well, we here at Budweiser know exactly what made your friend laugh, and we know what happened in the house that night. And some day, you will know it. but not today. No, not today. Budweiser: Be glad today is not the day.

The bank robbery earlier this month has understandably shaken customer confidence. So vice president of the Last Bank of Night Vale, Steve Carlsberg, has called a press conference to address public concerns over the security of their bank accounts and investments. Here’s Steve’s statement.

Steve Carlsberg: First I wanna say thank you to all of my valiant and valuable employees. They faced down danger, and without their bravery, we might all be much less fortunate. To Susan Willman, my dear friend: thank you for your leadership under such duress. To Genevieve, our newest employee: you deserve the quickest raise we’ve ever given out, and I promise it won’t always be like this. And to Jesse: you protected our bank for nearly 50 years, and your training finally paid off. Thank you for your service to our safety. And Joel Eisenberg, our lone customer, who stared down those monsters and did not give an inch: to you I say thank you.

I want the people of Night Vale and the customers of the Last Bank to know that we have your security in mind. We are cooperating with the Secret Police, and while this crime is not completely resolved, no customer has lost a single dollar of their savings. We are well insured, and I guarantee you [muffled] all protections are in place.

Cecil: But while Steve Carlsberg was talking, the Sheriff’s Secret Police returned to finish their announcement from earlier.

Steve: Wait, I’m not done yet!

Cecil: Seeing that Steve had claimed the podium in their disorganized absence, the Secret Police had to stand at the back of the room and wait impatiently. Their feet tapping, arms folded, each of them exhaling deeply and intermittently, one of them groaning aloud, “Is he done yet? Ugh.”

Steve: OK, yes, but…

Cecil: One of them staring demonstrably at the clock.

Steve: ..I signed up for this time slot at the podium and no one was here when I arrived, so I’d like to finish. [pause] Are we good? OK, fantastic. So uh, where was I? Oh, I was trapped in my office! I regret that I was not standing with my brave staff during this terrible event, but see, I think someone barred my door to prevent me from coming out there, really letting those robbers have it! I’m a nice guy, but not when my family is in danger. And these people, Genevieve, Susan, Jesse – they are my family. Joel and every other bank customer is my family, and I would do anything, anything, to protect them if they were threatened.

Cecil: Just then, the Secret Police – did you know that a group of police officers is called an obstinency of cops? [ahem] Marched to the podium declaring: “Four o’clock, your time’s up.” Two officers grabbed the mic shouting “Dibs” simultaneously, and then had to play rock, paper, water torture to see who got to speak.

Steve: Hey, hey watch it buddy! I-I-I mean officer. Sorry, uh…

Cecil: The police then announced they had in fact left all of the cells at the abandoned mine shaft locked earlier today, but somehow the three bank robbers escaped. Their cell was still locked and no tunnels or holes were found, yet the three were completely gone. “Dang it,” the police spokesperson said. “The important thing is we tried our best. Anyway,” they continued, “we’re proud to say that we have made an important breakthrough in the bank heist case. We have made a new arrest of the person we believe responsible of the theft at the Last Bank of Night Vale.

Steve: Oo, that’s great!

Cecil: The police then turned to Steve Carlsberg and said: “We have arrested our prime suspect in this conspiracy: Steve Carlsberg.”

Steve: What?

Cecil: The police handcuffed Steve. Oh, Steve…

Steve: No! (--) I didn’t (--) [yelping, inaudible]

Cecil: And led him outside to the back of a squad car. Listeners, I-I-I, I wish I could tell you I’m happy that the police think they have solved this bank robbery, but I cannot tell you that, this is not right. Steve would never. [sighs] While I sit with my feelings, you will sit With the weather.

[“Only One Star” by Ann https://soundcloud.com/carlitta-ann]

Sheriff Sam talked to reporters. These reporters were confused and angry, upset that such a good man, their brother-in-law in fact, could be confused for a master criminals. The Sheriff said the robbery of the bank vault required inside knowledge, someone who worked at the bank, someone who knew the combination of the vault, and could get the money without any damage to the vault, walls or door. Steve is the only employee present who knew the combination. The frustrated, enraged reporters then asked what happened to the money. If Steve stole the money, as they said, surely the police must have recovered it. Sheriff Sam said it’s clear the money has been spent on luxury. The suspect, Steve Carlsberg, bought a brand new house with a storage shed even, the most obvious symbol of opulence. “But he closed on that house weeks ago,” the infuriated reporters stated. “How could he have paid for something before he had the money?” The Sheriff then held up a life-sized promotional cardboard cutout featuring the text “Great mortgage rates are inside of you”. The Sheriff said: “He used something called a mortgage, and elaborate financial scheme where you don’t have to pay until later, a brilliant and evil ploy for bank robbers.” “Mortgages are normal, I have a mortgage,” the displeased reporters responded. “Maybe you’ll be arrested next,” the Sheriff spat. “Also, Steve Carlsberg bought a fancy car for his daughter. He even upgraded the vehicle with hand controls for braking and acceleration. We could tell right there we was flaunting his stolen wealth.” “She’s in a wheelchair,” the disgusted reporters snapped back. “Those controls are necessary and standard.” The Sheriff shrugged and said: “You say tomato, I say criminal.” And with that, they stepped away, smug in their arrest of this innocent man.

I didn’t know what to do, so I called Carlos. He said he was coming home early today, but I haven’t seen him yet. He didn’t answer his phone, so I called my sister Abby. She was understandable upset about her husband’s arrest. I told her I would do everything in my power as an investigative journalist to vindicate Steve, even if it means starting a podcast. She sighed and said: “I know.” When I asked if Carlos was still at her house, she said: “He’s gone.” “Oh good. I’ll see him soon then,” I replied. “No,” Abby said, “You won’t. the police were just here questioning me and Janice. Then they took Carlos with them to the station. They said they’re not done with their investigation.

Listener, stay tuned next for a song and language you have never heard, written in a key not on any scale, played in a time signature that changes with each measure.

Good night, Night Vale, Good night.

Today’s proverb: The gum you like is out of style again.