#(what's MORE indicative of my interested in a thread

[bentreznor]

why on earth do you even want a fe4 remake if you dont want anything to change just go play the original game.

[writingwithcolor]

Naming International POC Characters: Do Your Research.

This post is part of a double feature for the same ask. First check out Mod Colette's answer to OP's original question at: A Careful Balance: Portraying a Black Character's Relationship with their Hair. Below are notes on character naming from Mod Rina.

~ ~ ~

@writingraccoon said:

My character is black in a dungeons and dragons-like fantasy world. His name is Kazuki Haile (pronounced hay-lee), and his mother is this world's equivalent of Japanese, which is where his first name is from, while his father is this world's equivalent of Ethiopian, which is where his last name is from. He looks much more like his father, and has hair type 4a. [...]

Hold on a sec.

Haile (pronounced hay-lee), [...] [H]is father is this world’s equivalent of Ethiopian, which is where his last name is from. 

OP, where did you get this name? Behindthename.com, perhaps?

Note how it says, “Submitted names are contributed by users of this website. Check marks indicate the level to which a name has been verified.” Do you see any check marks, OP? 

What language is this, by the way? If we only count official languages, Ethiopia has 5: Afar, Amharic, Oromo, Somali, & Tigrinya. If we count everything native to that region? Over 90 languages. And I haven't even mentioned the dormant/extinct ones. Do you know which language this name comes from? Have you determined Kazuki’s father’s ethnic group, religion, and language(s)? Do you know just how ethnically diverse Ethiopia is? 

~ ~ ~

To All Looking for Character Names on the Internet:

Skip the name aggregators and baby name lists. They often do not cite their sources, even if they’re pulling from credible ones, and often copy each other. 

If you still wish to use a name website, find a second source that isn’t a name website. 

Find at least one real life individual, living or dead, who has this given name or surname. Try Wikipedia’s lists of notable individuals under "List of [ethnicity] people." You can even try searching Facebook! Pay attention to when these people were born for chronological accuracy/believability. 

Make sure you know the language the name comes from, and the ethnicity/culture/religion it’s associated with. 

Make sure you understand the naming practices of that culture—how many names, where they come from, name order, and other conventions. 

Make sure you have the correct pronunciation of the name. Don’t always trust Wikipedia or American pronunciation guides on Youtube. Try to find a native speaker or language lesson source, or review the phonology & orthography and parse out the string one phoneme at a time. 

Suggestions for web sources:

Wikipedia! Look for: “List of [language] [masculine/feminine] given names,” “List of most common [language] family names,” “List of most common surnames in [continent],” and "List of [ethnicity] people."  

Census data! Harder to find due to language barriers & what governments make public, but these can really nail period accuracy. This may sound obvious, but look at the year of the character's birth, not the year your story takes place. 

Forums and Reddit. No really. Multicultural couples and expats will often ask around for what to name their children. There’s also r/namenerds, where so many folks have shared names in their language that they now have “International Name Threads.” These are all great first-hand sources for name connotations—what’s trendy vs. old-fashioned, preppy vs. nerdy, or classic vs. overused vs. obscure. 

~ ~ ~

Luckily for OP, I got very curious and did some research. More on Ethiopian & Eritrean naming, plus mixed/intercultural naming and my recommendations for this character, under the cut. It's really interesting, I promise!

Ethiopian and Eritrean Naming Practices

Haile (IPA: /həjlə/ roughly “hy-luh.” Both a & e are /ə/, a central “uh” sound) is a phrase meaning “power of” in Ge’ez, sometimes known as Classical Ethiopic, which is an extinct/dormant Semitic language that is now used as a liturgical language in Ethiopian churches (think of how Latin & Sanskrit are used today). So it's a religious name, and was likely popularized by the regnal name of the last emperor of Ethiopia, Haile Selassie (“Power of the Trinity”). Ironically, for these reasons it is about as nationalistically “Ethiopian” as a name can get.

Haile is one of the most common “surnames” ever in Ethiopia and Eritrea. Why was that in quotes? Because Ethiopians and Eritreans don’t have surnames. Historically, when they needed to distinguish themselves from others with the same given name, they affixed their father’s given name, and then sometimes their grandfather’s. In modern Ethiopia and Eritrea, their given name is followed by a parent’s (usually father’s) name. First-generation diaspora abroad may solidify this name into a legal “surname” which is then consistently passed down to subsequent generations.

Intercultural Marriages and Naming

This means that Kazuki’s parents will have to figure out if there will be a “surname” going forward, and who it applies to. Your easiest and most likely option is that Kazuki’s dad would have chosen to make his second name (Kazuki’s grandpa’s name) the legal “surname.” The mom would have taken this name upon marriage, and Kazuki would inherit it also. Either moving abroad or the circumstances of the intercultural marriage would have motivated this. Thus “Haile” would be grandpa’s name, and Kazuki wouldn’t be taking his “surname” from his dad. This prevents the mom & Kazuki from having different “surnames.” But you will have to understand and explain where the names came from and the decisions dad made to get there. Otherwise, this will ring culturally hollow and indicate a lack of research.

Typically intercultural parents try to

come up with a first name that is pronounceable in both languages,

go with a name that is the dominant language of where they live, or

compromise and pick one parent’s language, depending on the circumstances.

Option 1 and possibly 3 requires figuring out which language is the father’s first language. Unfortunately, because of the aforementioned national ubiquity of Haile, you will have to start from scratch here and figure out his ethnic group, religion (most are Ethiopian Orthodox and some Sunni Muslim), and language(s). 

But then again, writing these characters knowledgeably and respectfully also requires figuring out that information anyway.

~ ~ ~

Names and naming practices are so, so diverse. Do research into the culture and language before picking a name, and never go with only one source.

~ Mod Rina

[prythiansprincess]

best friend's brother! tom finally gets you alone

NAVIGATION // home. tag. moodboard. more.

author's note: the demons...they're getting loud again. i'm actually so feral for possessive and obsessive tom. I fear I might make this my whole personality now.

obsession. 

tom riddle was, in every sense of the word, obsessive. the fixation and compulsion he poured into the things he loved had always been a marker of his character. tom was not the type of person to casually partake in something; for the eldest riddle brother, the best things in life were worth being consumed by. 

and he was. 

utterly and irrevocably consumed by you. 

y/n, mattheo’s sweet and innocent best friend. the one whose pretty eyes and lovely smile haunted his every waking moment. the one whose honeyed voice played in his head like a melody and enticed him like a siren’s song. the one whose gentle touch sent his heart racing until he felt as though the damned thing was going to burst out of his bloody chest. 

you had no idea what you did to him, but you would soon enough because tom had a plan. for weeks, he had been plotting and scheming. trying to find the right time to finally get you all to himself. 

fortunately for him, the opportunity arose one fateful evening when mattheo left his phone unattended in the living room. it was so easy, almost too easy, to guess his brother’s password and open up his most recent text thread with you. 

mattheo: come over tonight? 

tom watched as three dots appeared on the screen, indicating that you were currently typing a response. 

y/n: will tom be there?

now that was interesting. perhaps you were asking because you wanted him to be there. wanted him as much as he wanted you. 

mattheo: yes. why do you ask?

y/n: I just don't want to be a bother. I know tom likes to study on tuesdays and me coming over would probably disrupt that.

tom couldn’t help but smile. such a thoughtful, caring girl. he couldn’t wait to ruin you. 

mattheo: tom will be fine. so, are you in or not?  i'll grab your favorite snacks. 

y/n: you had me at snacks.

half an hour later, you were standing in the doorway of the riddle home, dressed in one of those pretty little dresses that tom had imagined ripping off of your body a million times. as the door swung open, those innocent eyes widened at the sight of him. you flushed when tom met your gaze, a light pink hue dusting your cheeks. 

"oh. hi, tom. um, is mattheo here? he asked me to come over." 

tom casually leaned against the frame, giving you a once over that only deepened your flush. "my brother just stepped out, but he should be back soon." 

"o—okay. he's probably out getting snacks." 

tom watched as you lingered in the doorway, anxiously fidgeting with the hem of your dress. he thought it was adorable that you were still nervous around him after all this time. biting back a smile, tom opened the door to his home a little wider. 

"are you coming in?" 

“hm?” you asked absentmindedly. “oh. yeah. yes, i’m coming. not like that. I mean, obviously. shit. ignore me please.” 

tom raised a brow, but said nothing as he barely gave you enough of a gap to squeeze through the door. he smirked to himself as you maneuvered your way inside, perky breasts brushing against his solid chest. tom could smell the sweet scent of your strawberry shampoo as you passed through. he wanted to drown himself in it. you timidly avoided his gaze, choosing instead to follow him into the kitchen in silence.

“would you like something to drink?” 

you nodded. “yes, please, i’ll take a —”

before you could finish your sentence, tom handed you a cold can of vanilla cherry soda. your favorite. you thanked him with a shy smile before following him upstairs. instinctively, you turned in the direction of mattheo’s room, but tom gripped your wrist and kept you in place. 

“you can wait in my room if you’d like. mattheo might be a while. he reeked of weed when he left."

you chuckled. “it does take matty forever to pick out snacks when he’s high.” you shifted your weight from one foot to the other before glancing up at tom through your lashes. “are you sure you don’t mind? I wouldn’t want to impose.” 

“i’m sure,” tom confirmed. “I could use the company.” 

with that, you followed tom into his room. unlike mattheo’s, tom’s room was neat and organized. everything was perfect and pristine, much like the man standing before you. tom busied himself by putting away the books and notes on his desk while you fiddled with your fingers, not quite knowing what to do with yourself. 

“sit on the bed,” tom commanded. “make yourself comfortable.” 

“okay.” you replied in a small, breathy voice. 

carefully, you settled at the edge of his bed and crossed your legs. you drummed your fingers against your thigh, pondering how strange this situation was. in all your years of knowing tom, you had never once set foot in his room. at most, you caught glimpses of it when you passed by on your way to mattheo’s room. 

everything was so foreign and interesting. that was the desk where tom does all his studying. that was the closet where he keeps all of his clothes. that was the night stand where he places his glasses on before he goes to sleep. 

that was the bed that he laid in every night. your mind started to wander through all the things that tom had done in this bed. maybe by himself. maybe with someone else. the intrusive thoughts fired off one by one, leaving you flustered. does he soak the sheets when he gets himself off? does he tie his partners to the bed post when he eats them out? does he push their faces into the pillows as he rails them from behind? 

you were so engrossed in your dirty and filthy fantasies that you nearly jumped out of your skin when tom rested a hand on your thigh. 

“hm,” tom hummed. “you’re so jumpy, love.” 

you held your breath as he leaned closer, his face mere inches away from yours. the tension between you ebbed before he carefully took the soda can in your hand and placed it neatly on his nightstand. tom smirked when he noticed the hitch in your breath at his close proximity.

“do I make you nervous, doll?” 

“yes,” you answered truthfully. there was no point in lying. it was written all over your face. “you’re just so…intimidating.” 

“am I?” tom drawled as he slid in beside you, scooting in closer until his thigh was pressed against yours. even through his neatly pressed trousers, you could still feel the heat of his skin on yours. “maybe we just need to get to know each other better.” 

you bit your lip. “i’d like that, tom.” 

“good,” tom drawled. “let’s start with why you think you’d be a bother to me. mattheo told me you were hesitant to come over earlier.” 

you flushed as you stared at your shoes, the curtain of your hair shielding you from tom’s intense gaze. “I know you like your peace and quiet, which mattheo and I probably constantly interrupt. i’m sorry if we’re ever being annoying.” 

“you don’t have to worry about that. you could never bother me,” tom stated in a silky, flirty voice. “the only thing I find annoying is that you’re always with my brother. I just can’t seem to get you alone, can I?” 

you shivered as tom’s gaze flickered down to your lips. “well, we’re alone now.” 

“indeed we are.” you held your breath as tom leaned in closer, the bed dipping under his weight. “you have no idea how long i’ve waited for this. just you and me, without my brother to interrupt. I think about it all the time.” 

tom watched your pupils dilate, reacting to his admission. “what do you think about?” 

“I think about all the things I’d do to you. I think about the way you’d feel, the way you’d sound. if you’d scream or moan or whimper for me.” you shuddered at the sinful confession, rubbing your thighs together as heat rushed to your core. tom’s green gaze felt like a brand against your skin as a predatory look flashed through his handsome face. “I suppose there’s only one way to find out.” 

before you could react, tom’s mouth was on yours. the kiss was neither soft nor gentle, but instead hungry and possessive. the magnitude of his desire took you by surprise. you had always thought that tom viewed you as nothing more than mattheo’s pesky friend, the one that came over unannounced and wreaked havoc in his life, but apparently you couldn’t have been more wrong. 

tom kissed you like a man starved. he poured all of himself into the action, tangling his fingers through your hair, yanking your head backwards so he could kiss you deeper. you could barely keep up with the way he was devouring you, his tongue dominating yours while you moaned softly into his mouth. 

a gasp escaped your lips as tom picked you up and placed you on his lap. you were dizzy with desire as you straddled him, whimpering when tom bucked his hips against yours which caused his erection to rub against your soaked core. never in a million years would you have imagined tom to be this dirty and filthy as he grabbed and groped and gorged himself on you. 

your breathy moans filled the room as tom slid his right hand underneath your dress and squeezed your thigh before palming you through your panties. you melted into his touch, moaning his name softly while he growled in response. as he slid the lace aside, tom kissed your neck and teased your slit with his fingers. 

“you’re soaked, doll.” tom said with a dark chuckle. “do I make you wet, hm?” 

“yes,” you breathed, eyes rolling back as tom spread your slick ever so slowly. 

he seemed to take this as encouragement, taking his time teasing you, rubbing your clit and spreading your folds until you were reduced to nothing but a whimpering mess. 

“tom, please…”

“so needy,” tom murmured. “what is it that you want, love?” 

“I want…” you bit your lip as tom stroked your pussy. “I want your fingers. I want them inside of me. please, tom.” 

“aw, doll, you sound so pretty when you beg,” tom cooed. “don’t worry, I couldn't resist you even if I tried.” 

without warning, tom plunged his fingers into your pussy. you groaned at the stretch, face heating from how vulgar the scene unfolding before you truly was. tom watched with rapt attention as you squirmed and panted, drinking in every little moan and whimper like a fine wine. his fingers felt like magic as they curled and scissored and flicked inside your walls. the other hand that wasn’t playing with your pussy rested on your hip, gripping tightly as you grinded against tom. 

“that’s it, doll. ride my fingers just like that.” 

tom was mesmerized at the sight of you using him to get yourself off. mattheo’s sweet and innocent best friend was no longer sweet and innocent as tom fingered and ruined you like the perfect little slut that you were. his perfect little slut.

“are you going to be a good girl and cum for me?” 

tears streamed down your cheeks as you rode tom’s fingers like your life depended on it. your mascara and lipstick were both smeared, but you didn’t care as you chased after your orgasm. you gave tom a weak nod, half out of your mind with pleasure. 

tom gripped your chin and forced you to look at him. “answer me, doll.” 

“y — yes. i’m going to…oh god, tom!” you writhed as tom rubbed your clit with the heel of his palm, pushing you over the edge. 

the glimmer in your eyes right before you came unleashed something within tom. the flushed cheeks and fluttering lashes; the parted lips and strained scream, it was enough to drive him insane. he wanted to see you make that face over and over again. 

“you look so pretty when you cum, doll.” tom murmured as he bit down on your neck, staking his claim on your skin. “you’re fucking exquisite.” 

amusement danced in his gaze as you shied away from the attention, cheeks flushed from the praise. tom locked eyes with you before sticking his fingers in his mouth and licking them clean in the most obscene and erotic way you had ever witnessed. 

“don’t get all shy now, love. it’s your cum i’m licking off my fingers and i’ll be damned if you ever feel nervous around me again.” 

you chuckled in disbelief. the tom riddle in your head was supposed to be prim and proper, but the real tom was salacious and vulgar; a version of him that was better than what you could have ever imagined. still, despite the heated exchange, tom was surprisingly tender as he helped clean you up. you blushed furiously as he pulled your dress down and kissed your cheek. 

the timing couldn’t have been more perfect because soon after you were situated, the two of you heard footsteps in the hall. you barely had time to compose yourself before mattheo came barging into the room. 

“tom, have you seen my phone?” mattheo paused in surprise when he found you staring back at him. “oh, hi y/n. what are you doing here?” 

“you asked me to come over and hang out, remember?” 

“did I?” mattheo wondered aloud. “I was pretty baked earlier. guess I must have texted you then. well, i’m free now if you want to watch a movie.” 

tom smirked as you shot a bewildered glance at him. “oh, yeah sure.” 

“by the way, what are you doing in tom’s room? is he boring you to death about his coin collection again?” 

you blushed furiously. “no, uh, we were just…tom and I were…” 

“we were discussing the finer points of human anatomy,” tom lied smoothly. his smirk was still perfectly in place as he glanced over at you. “it was a rather…stimulating conversation. was it not, doll?” 

the tips of your ears were bright red as you nodded in place of a response, because you couldn’t trust yourself to speak at the moment.

mattheo rolled his eyes. “well, if you’re done being a weirdo, y/n and I will be in the basement.” 

you fiddled with the hem of your dress, not quite able to meet tom’s eyes. “um, well, I guess I’ll see you later?” 

tom winked behind his brother’s back. “you know where to find me, doll.” 

[linkons-most-wanted]

Sylus, Intimacy, and Desire: An Essay

Inspired by this excellent video essay on Zayne's intimacy and a few comments asking for a similar analysis of Sylus, I wanted to share a few of my thoughts!

I actually think that Sylus and Zayne are great to contrast to each other on this topic because they each make relatively overt bids for physical intimacy but in very different ways.

While Zayne is outwardly restrained, where that restraint causes his hidden internal desires to intensify to the point of no longer being controllable, Sylus is outwardly flirtatious/assertive, but then actually very comfortable managing/controlling his desires.

Sylus's character demonstrates that when desire is embraced and expected, and appropriately indulged, it can be confidently controlled and regulated. It can seem paradoxical at first--that the most "forward" character is also the one most interested in specific, verbal consent--but I'd argue it's spot on in terms of psychology.

Sylus knows and accepts his desires

In Midnight Stealth, he says, "I truly enjoy watching my little prey struggle. Especially when it thinks it can escape from me." There's clearly a sensual/sexual element to this, and it points directly at kink, where power and power exchance are tantamount.

More on power exchange in a second, but what I want to emphasize here is that Sylus is very comfortable with what's considered to be a very "dark" desire. (Dark romance girlies, sound off.)

Contrast this to Zayne, who feels very conflicted about even very normative, expected desires and emotions.

Sylus has a lot of reason to be very comfortable with his desires, regardless of their nature, due to his powers as a dragon. He's able to pull out others' hidden desires, so of course he knows his own. As we see in Beyond Cloudfall, the types of desire he respects are when people are true to their hearts--ie honest with themselves and others about what they truly want, even/especially when others consider those desires to be dark/deviant. MC is the only person he's met who's honest in this way and truly follows her heart.

Power exchange

We get many signs that Sylus is very interested in power exchange, such as the entirety of No Defense Zone where he taunts MC to "tame" him, and the recurring theme of "taming" and "winning his heart" that's made especially clear in Final Farewell (the Abyssal Chaos Commission) dialogue. In Night of Secrecy, when MC indicates she wants control, he says he can't give it to her--"At least, not yet."

He is actively looking the relationship to get to a point where he feels safe giving full control to MC.

Conversely, when it comes to being dominant, he doesn't value dominance for dominance's sake--he's constatly talking about how boring "weak prey" is. What is attractive to him about MC, and when she submits to him, is specifically that she's strong and powerful, specifically that she trusts him with herself. If she didn't have power to give up, power that he respected, he simply wouldn't be interested.

Delightfully, in the AU of Innocent Birdcage, we get a version of Sylus who is similarly comfortable with his desires, so we get an even more overt demonsration of bondage kink. Even when not frenzied, he's tugging that thread of power exchange, reminding MC that he's dangerous while simultaneously smitten with her courage.

Sylus gets off on more than just sex

What is so interesting to me about Sylus's portrayal is that he's very flirtatious, very forward, and very sensual--but with relatively very few on-screen/-page kisses. We get very sexually charged moments with face touching, hands (MY GOD THE HANDS), etc, but the tension is rarely diffused.

We see Sylus's physical sensitivity especially in Lost Oasis, No Defense Zone, and Innocent Birdcage. Part of why we see these sensual moments not devolve abruptly into heavy petting, like we do with Zayne, is that Sylus is not in a hurry. We see this in Night of Secrecy too--MC has to get quite forward for him to finally "give in" (though he never really loses control).

Sylus enjoys the waiting. Unlike Zayne, who sees his restraint as a matter of life and death, to Sylus, it's a game. He enjoys seeing how much teasing he can take (No Defense Zone) and putting MC in situations where he doesn't know how she'll respond ("Sylus and Tartarus are in your hands...").

Given their history in Beyond Cloudfall, things like forehead kisses are just as precious to Sylus as other more overtly sexual types of affection. Sylus is willing to accept affection and sensation in any form MC is willing to provide it, while also enjoying a bit of power play. So, touching her face, grabbing her chin, throwing her around a bit--gestures which become more affectionate and more accepted by MC over time, but still retain their value to him.

He's a young dragon

One of my absolute favorite moments in Beyond Cloudfall is when MC says, "You're a young dragon, aren't you?" It humanizes Sylus in this really profound way, reminding us that he's still figuring certain things out as he goes.

Given that he's a creature very in-touch with his instincts and desires, you're not going to get a typical virginal trope. He's certainly not naive to the mechanics--and you can certainly imagine he'd be aware of all kinds of sexual desires thanks to his draconic powers.

But, MC is still the one to introduce him to the concept of a forehead kiss. We see him be bold and flirtatious in Bloodnight Blaze, confirming that he's well in-touch with those desires, but he seems to value the tender moments equally, if not moreso.

There is this sense in his character of wanting to explore things with MC, of wanting to learn with her, to grow together. There's an openness and receptivity to his character in that way. Unlike Zayne, he may not have all that many specific ideas of what he wants to do to/with MC--he wants to experience that intimacy with her having equal agency and initiative.

He wants to be wanted

I posted recently about the close-up shot of Sylus's eye in Night of Secrecy, where we're shown very clearly that he's not using his power to manipulate desire.

Given that Sylus has always been percieved as a dangerous, violent creature by everyone except a select few, to be seen in a tender way is unfamiliar and vulnerable.

He wants to experience her desire in its raw, un-tampered-with state. He wants to know what she truly wants, and does not want to create a scenario where he's in some way manipulating or coercing her desire, whether using his eye or otherwise. Her genuine desire is more precious and appealing to him than mere sex.

As much as I am begggingggg for more Sylus make-out cards, I think moments like we see in Magnum Opus are far more precious to him.

A very strong piece of supporting evidence here is what he says in Approaching Dusk when MC asks how she can get him to willingly stay in her trap. He tells her that she should ask him for things, show her vulnerable side, and make him feel as though she relies on him. That is much more seductive to Sylus than physical pleasure.

What consent means to Sylus

I think the idea of getting consent can be construed in a "cover your ass" way, as in, "well, you have to do this or you're doing something wrong" so it's a "good guy" thing to do.

But, one of the things to be found within responsible kink is a much more profound appreciation for consent. To pull on the themes above, consent isn't just a box to check; it communicates genuine, vulnerable desire. It also affirms that the power exchange is wanted on both sides.

When Sylus asks for consent, he's saying, "You have power in this scenario. Are you willing to give it to me?"

It's the very fact that she can and would say 'no' that makes her 'yes' so very intoxicating and appealing to him. Even in Long Awaited Revelry, he's giving her options. It's her own greed/desire that makes her agree to his terms--not her lack of alternatives. She doesn't actually have to get the Aether Core, but she wants it enough to take risks.

Night of Secrecy

Let's dig deeper into some key dialogue in Night of Secrecy:

MC: “I told you that a hunter doesn’t like being passive.”  Sylus: “Oh… so you want control… Unfortunately… I can’t give it to you. Not yet, at least.” His warm hands scorch my skin and slide up my back unhindered, settling firmly on my waist. When gripping a gun, they’re cold and unyielding, but when they touch me, they become tender and warm. And now they’re a weapon of their own, teasing and tormenting me. Sylus: “…Don’t run.” MC: “You’re… so annoying…” SYlus: “I won’t deny it. I guess you can say I lied. Tonight, you’re not the only one feeling greedy… And I won’t be leaving until this greed is completely satisfied. Ah, I misspoke. Greed can never be satisfied… But you can temporarily soothe it.” He takes my hand and places it against his chest. His voice is slow and earnest as he asks the question once more… Sylus: “Say it again. Kitten, do you want it?”  My eyes linger on his, and our heart rates sync up.  I lean down over him, running my fingers through his sweat-damp hair.  MC: “This is my answer.”

In "And now they’re a weapon of their own, teasing and tormenting me," we see more of this indulgence in power play and power exchange. You can easily imagine Sylus challenging himself to see how slowly he can go, to focus more on MC. Him saying "Don't run" can be interpreted as MC trying to get out of his grip--not to escape him, but to accelerate the intimacy, to escape the "teasing and tormenting".

Sylus's "greed" includes taking things slowly. It includes build-up and power-play. It includes spurring on MC's own desires.

We get this really lovely back-to-back of "I won’t be leaving until this greed is completely satisfied" to “Say it again. Kitten, do you want it?” 

He is greedy... for her genuine consent. He wants her to want it.

I think "I won’t be leaving until this greed is completely satisfied" is best understood as Sylus being clear to MC that he wants her too. Neither this, nor “I’m hoping ‘yes’ is still your answer because… I just can’t hold back anymore” can be construed as him pushing boundaries because MC has already explicitly invited him into that territory. I interpret the hand that she puts up to stop him as her wanting to be "on top", not as her wanting to stop or slow down, and Sylus's remarks as specifically, verbally affirming his desire for her.

Even him saying "Greed can never be satisfied…" indicates that his everyday baseline is wanting her in this way, and he's very comfortable with those desires and how to keep them in check.

Desire without entitlement

At no point does Sylus ever behave as if he's entitled to MC's affection, physical or otherwise. He always desires her, but does not have specific expectations of her. He's always asking, "so what will you do?" The fact that he doesn't know the answer is what makes the question so compelling to him.

If he wanted sex, he could get it--he's powerful enough and persuasive enough. Which makes that conquest irrelevant and boring to him. What is far, far more interesting is co-discovering MC's true desires with her, just like they did in Beyond Cloudfall.

Repression and regulation

In the way that Zayne's character represents repressed desire, Sylus's character represents regulated desire.

His desires are accepted and known, not rejected and bottled up. Thus, he's able to approach regulation in a playful way, appreciating the challenge that it provides and finding ways to express his affection and sate his desires that don't put pressure on MC.

It is because he is comfortable with his sexuality that it's able to be secondary to his primary desires with MC.

In conclusion

So, as much as I want more kiss cards for them, the writers are cooking. There's a specific point they want to make, and I think they're making it beautifully. I am constantly delighted by the complexity and nuance that the writers bring to Sylus's character.

I'm hopeful that as we see Sylus's and MC's relationship deepen, we'll see MC gain more confidence to initiate, which will then translate to more on-page and on-screen intimate moments.

And until then... there's always fanfic. 😅

[tinydefector]

TFP Shockwave with a pet human who he's come to be rather affectionate with absent mindedly and has become more interactive with them outside of experiments even. One day human goes missing / isn't in usual spot and Shockwave is trying to figure out wtf is going on but then a con makes a cruel joke (anyone of choosing I thought arachnid or starscream) that they fell out of their cage and got caught underfoot whoopsies . how does Shockwave react before the human comes out from their hiding spot where they were resting??? O_O

Out of Reach

Shockwave x human

Warning: none

Word count: 1k

Shockwave masterlist

_________________________

Shockwave grew increasingly troubled as his thorough search of the lab turned up no sign of his human companion. They were always precisely where he expected upon his arrival, yet this cycle they were nowhere to be found. A nagging unease arose within the Decepticon scientist, though he remained outwardly calm as he searched.

Shockwave diligently swept across the laboratory once more, searching for any trace or clue that could indicate the human's whereabouts or condition. This simply made no logical sense. They had never hidden from him, something must have happened. Had something interfered with the lab's systems without triggering alerts? No breaches were indicated. Shockwave did not appreciate unexplained variables in his work.The sooner this small mystery was solved, the better.

Arachnid watches with a smirk on her lips as Shockwave walks through the halls checking different areas and in hopes that his little companion was just hiding. "Missing something Shockwave?" She inquires with a raised optic brow, not looking rather interested.

Shockwave paused in his meticulous vent searches to regard the inquisitive Arachnid. She took far too much pleasure in others' losses, however minor.

"My human subject is absent from their Enclosure without explanation," he stated flatly. No sense indulging her obvious gloating. "Their whereabouts remain unknown." Her smirk only widened. "And you thought you had everything so neatly ordered. Surprises happen, even to our beloved scientist." Her tone held thinly veiled mockery. "Perhaps a fleshling has more spirit than you gave it credit for."

Shockwave disregarded her taunting for now. "If you possess any data that could aid my investigation, speak. Else your presence here serves no purpose." His patience for games was nonexistent. She lets out a huff as she turns away. "Last I saw them Starscream was rambling about discarding the little pest, I would much rather have added them to my collection, but no use once they are squished" she replies amusement flicking in her optics. It makes Shockwave's spark go cold at the thought.

Starscream, interfering in his work yet again... but to harm the human? It made no sense. "Elaborate. What precisely did Starscream say?" Starscream's actions often lacked reason, but there had to be a thread of logic here. The thought of harm coming to his research subject was. displeasing.

His optic narrowed on Arachnid, another smile graced her lips. "If my memory serves correctly, starscream stepped on them when he was in your laboratory last, and decided it was easier to discard them before they made a mess with all their bloo " she teases. She was going to see just how far Shockwave was willing to go for the little flesh bag.

Something akin to anger flashed through Shockwave's circuits at Arachnid's vague 'memory' and obvious game. Starscream would pay dearly for damaging laboratory property and disrupting critical research. His optic burned into hers. "Show me. Now."

Starscream looks up from his data pad when the sound of Shockwave's shadow forms over him. Arachnid gives him a little wave before stalking off, leaving Shockwave with him. "What can I do for you, Shockwave, as you can see I am rather busy" he states, wings flickering in annoyance at being interrupted.

"You will explain the human's current status and your role in their disappearance, Starscream," he stated calmly. Too calmly, given the swirling calculations within his processor. "Arachnid insinuated you were involved with deactivating them."

Starscream shifted uneasily under that baleful optical lens. “How dare you accuse me!” he snarls as his optics glare at the scientist. Shockwave cut him off. "The human. Where is it? I will have answers, one way or another. Do not test me further, Starscream."

"You babbling Moron I haven't been anywhere near your Lab nor near that disgusting little creature you adore!I'm Sure Arachnid would just love to add them to her collection of prizes and is using this time to hunt them" Starscream snarls out wings flickering even more as Shockwave threatens him.

The moment those words leave Starscream, Shockwave turned on a heel strut and departed, optic aglow with sheer anger. When Shockwave stalks back into his laboratory Arachnid isn't paying attention as she looks through the vents eager to try and find the human before Shockwave's return.A faint whirring was Shockwave's only warning before his blaster cannon trained directly on Arachnid's backstrut. "Cease your prowling immediately, My companion is off limits as is instructed by Lord Megatron" he commanded, weapon charged and ready.

She froze at the sound of his calm yet irrefutable voice. “Such a shame, yet you still have found your precious little pet, perhaps they have finally abandoned you” she sneers back at him. His optic narrowed to a slit. He took a measured step forward. "The human. Where have you hidden or disposed of them, Arachnid?" A hiss escaped her in mingled frustration and wary respect. Lying to Shockwave was never wise. Slowly, delicately, she extracted herself away from the vent. "I have no idea."

Movement catches Shockwave optics from over on his bench, it makes both Decepticons helms snap to the moment. "What time is it?" the little human asked while rubbing their eyes as they pulled the large cloth around their body. walking out of the unoccupied crate that originally held Shockwave's energon cube rations. Arachnid snarls as she pushes Shockwave off before stalking out of the lab. "What was that about?" They mumble tiredly.

Shockwave's cannon whirred down as he took in the dishevelled yet apparently unharmed human, "It is roughly mid-cycle," he replied calmly, his servo moving across their frame taking in their appearance making sure they are not injured. all traces of anger leave his processes.

"You appear undamaged. How did you get to be within the energon container? Arachnid led me to believe you'd been.harmed." he questioned, Relief pulsed through his lines, though he showed no outward emotion.

"I fell asleep in there last night while you were working, sorry I didn't mean to cause any issues" they state as he lifts them up. Shockwave processed this new information and he cursed himself for not checking the crate. "You have nothing for which to apologise for " he replied calmly, holding the human against his chassis. “I ask that you alert me as to your wear about before recharge for your own safety” he states before setting down with them in his servos.

______________

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[pain-in-the-asguardian]

Since his introduction, we've seen that Kid has a strong connection to the overall storyline and other characters. We see his progress post timeskip, even cutting to him during arcs he's not a part of, and he's been in half the total anime openings since his introduction.

As the Supernova who had the highest initial bounty he's set up as a rival to Luffy. While their personalities are opposite, Kid's attacks are shown to mirror Luffy's gear 3 and 4. Based on this it seems likely that he will eventually gain an ability to mirror Gear 5 as well.

He's also got a connection to Vegapunk. It's unclear just what it is currently, but it's important to note that Kid gained his “Punk” naming system and major mechanical creations after we learn about VP. In his childhood art, he's even holding a robot.

His strongest attack, Damned Punk has a very visible 07 on the side, we're shown it several times. When the SH crew reaches Egghead VP explains there are six punks on the island. This seems to indicate there may be more in the world.

The Sea Beast Weapons seem to confirm this, as there are 8 of them. It appears they mirror Vegapunk and his Satellites, but this leaves us with one extra who just happens to look like Kid. It's also worth noting that "Kid's" sea beast is the only one not wearing the eye mask.

With Elbaph unfolding currently, we are seeing a lot of devil imagery. This makes the religious symbolism in Kid's creations all the more fascinating, because they are full of it. The most obvious is the backing of Punk Rotten, which is very clearly matching the cross of Nika.

The skulls of PR and Corna Dio also have spiked halos. For someone who is seen as a monster, Kid certainly uses a lot of heavenly imagery. Will this play a part in the devilish saga currently in play?

Something I just noticed that may or may not be related is that Wire's outfit is different in Elbaph. It reminds me of Renaissance Madonna images. Again, this one may just be coincidence but... It also might not be.

The last point I want to make is that of the Horned God. Punk Corna Dio is based on the heavy metal hand gesture started by artist Dio, but also can be interpreted as Horned God. He could have called it something like Toro Dio, but he didn't.

This isn't the first time we see horned skulls, since both Road and one of the Holy Knights wear them. And then we have Chopper, who turns into a massive horned being. The concept of the Horned God seems to be one we see throughout the series.

Kaido and the Ancient Giants are also horned beings, and now we are seeing horned devils as well. It's interesting to me that the only other Sea Beast weapon to resemble another character just happens to be Chopper, and it's shown next to "Kid".

While Kid's fate is currently unknown, it seems Luffy has taken his fashion decisions from him, going with the belted leather kilt and red feathered coat. Luffy tends to mimic others, so could it be a nod to someone who helped him in Wano?

Additional thoughts: Nika/Joyboy connected to not only liberation but laughter, and now because of Killer's Smile the crew has chosen to laugh along with him. Will they be free of the false happiness forced by the false DFs one day?

Or has Killer found a way to overcome it already? Regardless of circumstance or emotion, he shouldn't be able to *not* smile, as we saw with the people of Wano at Yasui's execution. Yet we see here that he's not. There's a reason we're shown this brief scene.

Finally, we see Demalo Black and co. cosplaying Kid. This means we'll see a confrontation eventually, as in Sabaody. I think Cross Guild may play into freeing the false crew. Funny that Black disparages Joyboy when we see that Kid may be a Nika disciple.

There's a lot of little details about Kid, and individually you might chalk them up to coincidence. But taken together, they really start to add up. His role isn't finished yet, and I believe we'll see him again soon in Elbaph.

Taken from my Twitter thread here!

[andy-wm]

i feel like i missed a chapter somewhere lol whats with the itaewon house? i know nothing about this, did one of them build a house?

Hey Anon

Yup, JK built a house

A few years back (2020? 2021?) He bought a very fancy property in the same neighbourhood as the embassies and Chaebol mansions - in the most expensive part of Itaewon.

I remember at the time, news sites were frothing over the house and how it reflected Jungkook's excellent taste. The common thread was that the prestige of the property showed how urbane he had become. It clearly indicated that he had grown into an astute and mature investor.

There was a lot of chatter about it being a fine family home in an exclusive locale.

I mean, it definitely was a flex. A freestanding house on a 6ooM2 allotment in Seoul? Please, the man clearly has a bottomless well of money. And even more impressive than the hefty price was the fact that he paid cash for it.

Of course, the straight-boy-JK brigade were ecstatic about his pretty new house. To them it was demonstrable proof that he had plans to find himself a pretty wife who would pump out pretty children for him. They were very smug about the hereronormative imagery his picturesque little cottage conjured up.

It was all very tiresome.

But what came next is my favourite part of the story. We all woke up one day to discover...

He unceremoniously flattened that house

Yup, the news broke one morning that the house was... gone. Bulldozed. He clearly had zero regard for its prestige, refinement, or family friendliness. I love that about him. He really does follow his own compass.

I was secretly delighted interested to see what would replace it, and Anon, I have not been disappointed.

Can a house have sex appeal?

This one does.

Where that frankly underwhelming red brick meh once stood, we now have a gloriously ominous and uncompromising statement that looms over the street.

Jungkook has built a neobrutalist fortress.

It is a thing of beauty. Sophisticated and dominant in a way that makes me feel just a little bit breathless, the fine balance of weight and lightness is magnificent. It has charisma, refinement, and a hint of malice. If it could speak, I imagine it would tell the people who try to impose their values on him to fuck off in several different languages.

Anon, on my honour I had absolutely no intention of going anywhere near his house before I saw it complete. Now I'm afraid that the desire to gaze at it in person it might outweigh my distaste for lurking near the home of a celebrity like a sasaeng. I'd die of mortification of he was actually at home. Maybe I can go when I know he isn't there?

Ugh i hate this for me. I just wanna see the bloody fluted concrete walls for myself.

But lets move on from my whining...

I find myself appraising the aesthetic and stylistic choices he's made with this building and truthfully I'm seeing Jeon Jungkook in a new light.

I am pretty fucking impressed with what he's doing here. This house shows far more finesse, maturity, and sophistication than the gable-roofed clipart homestead ever could. It's the absolute antithesis of that twee vision of traditional values and domestic boredom bliss.

This monstrosity is dark, brooding, and beautiful. And I'm a little bit in love with it.

Yes, i admit that some of the images come from tiktok accounts that have been stalking the build.

Yes, i am aware of my double standards.

Other photos come from the architect who posted progress shots on his insta, and he's quite entitled to do so since this is his work. He never mentioned whose house it was or anything else that could compromise our boy.

[bloodchapell]

castle of sand — senku i. 16: stone world adoption

brief summary: all about baking iron and cooking ramen

what to expect: just fluff, minor mentions of suicide(?)

your sword's note: kinda mixed two different days together but it makes sense better like that in my head so meh, all past and future parts + playlist of this series available on my mistresslist

Manpower was a must-have.

"If I was a villager, I would mind my business and not join us." You said sitting with your arms crossed. 

"Well that's just about what they think." Chrome shrugged. "In your time, how would you get people to do what you wanted?"

"That is in itself a whole discussion. Let's see, pure mutual collaboration and interest, manipulation, torture, slavery, late-stage capitalism, that was the one we experienced." You said with your hand on your chin. "It was a system which originated as a form of exchange, for example say you have this brilliant rock that was really hard to get and its really rare, you would not exchange it for something like a simple plate of food, instead it would hold a higher value. People eventually would have no way to carry all their important objects with them and so, a placeholder for value was created: money, whether it was coins, little circular shaped metals that indicated different values, or bills, made out of paper, a flat material derived from plants. Powerful people would exploit those with less resources and force them to work in order to access necessities like living and food." 

"What, that is bad, not in the good way..." Chrome said, baffled. 

"See how you can just build your own stuff in this world and no one owns anything? In our world, you had to do work in exchange for money, and with that money you could pay the government for a piece of land, you could acquire food that someone else hunted and transported to you, things like that. I do not precisely agree with that economic system, not in a Tsukasa way, but with a more utopian view."

"Damn." Chrome shook his head. 

"It's about balance." You smiled. 

"What a commie." Senku shook his head. 

The day went by slowly. Suika was assigned to spy on the villagers and what they could want in exchange for helping with the hellish oxygenation of the iron sand baking. You came back from the river after a quick shower, drying your hair, and sat in front of Senku so he could brush it with his fingers. He thought again of your hair getting longer, it was something that plagued his mind in a rather simplistic manner, not overly obsessive or subtly, simply prominent and lacking any depth. He brushed your hair, with efficiency, the efficiency of almost a year of doing so every day. 

"I haven't heard you say 'what is it that you are doing' in the longest time." Senku called, pulling your head back so you could look at him upside down. You blinked erratically, then laughed.

"I know what you are up to these days, no need to thread myself like a badly sewn patch onto your activities." You looked at him upside down. "You don't despise me anymore to shush me away, ah, the days of long forgotten loneliness, what a hazy memory of the past, but is it only a memory if the ever-instantaneous moment remains stretched as time blends within itself?"

"Back to the rambles, if you are fully recovered from the hardships of life, how about you make me a sandwich."

"Men used to go to war, you know? Now all they do is complain." You pushed his head. 

"What is a sandwich?" Suika came back rolling around. 

"Suika!" You exclaimed happily, dropping to your knees dramatically to hug her. "Senku, we are inventing bread, Suika wants a sandwich." 

"I thought you were far too young to be a mother and all of that." Senku huffed.

"Well yes but she was born already, there is no sending her back to the children’s factory." You shrugged, taking the girl's hand. "Honestly though, I don't want to take the place of Suika's actual mom."

"I didn't meet my mom or dad." Suika whispered unaffected. You dropped to her feet when hearing that. 

"Suika, let me adopt you..." 

"You are not adopting a kid." Senku intervened immediately.

"That's probably what people told your dad, the only difference is I am not picking up an evil gremlin." 

"Would that really be alright?" Suika asked, probably not understanding what her adoption would entice.

"Of course it would be...." You said defeated on the ground. 

"Okay." With a smile Suika nodded. 

You beamed. 

Kohaku came back from the campfire, and greeted Suika back. Chrome followed after her. 

"I'm adopted!" Suika cheered. 

"Wow, good for you!" Chrome congratulated her.

"Don't encourage this!" Senku yelled. 

"Suika's parents died when she was really, really small, she doesn’t have anyone to take care of her. I think no one is more apt to adopt her, after all it's our dear Kingdom of Science chief, a total professional thinker, a tender and warm person." Kohaku nodded in approval. 

"I am the king of this kingdom." 

It was too late. Senku had to agree to Suika's adoption. 

You all sat by the fire, sharing the fish that Chrome and Kohaku had cooked. Suika shared her intel about what the villagers desired, the sparkly sisters wanted a man, each one specifying what their preferences were. Kind of a dead end with the boyfriend topic, aside from the one who wanted to be fed, which led to Suika mentioning the village glutton wanting more food. 

"If it comes to cooking, I think you got what it takes." Kohaku told you. 

"You cook really well!" Suika also mentioned and Chrome nodded. 

"So what are we cooking?" You asked Senku. 

He stayed quiet for a second, taking his time thinking about what could blow the villagers mind while using the limited resources. It took a while, you didn't disturb his train of thought, and as you waited, Suika introduced her dog to you. You petted it and when it didn't bite you, you were grateful for its trust in you. Senku got distracted by your interaction with the animal, seeing Suika bringing the stem of a plant to play with the dog. He recognized it to be foxtail millet, and explained how something modern could be cooked with it. Kohaku and Chrome agreed, and Suika said she would show you the field where she found the plant in the morning. 

“Goodnight my glorious angel.” You hugged Kohaku, and then knelt in front of Suika. "Goodnight honey, if I could put you to bed I would tell you a bed night story, but I’m sure I will be able to do so later.” You hugged the girl too and she hugged back. 

“You couldn’t even wait until we were actually divorced to make a new family huh?” Senku said with his arms crossed. 

“Well what do you care? Tell that to my lawyer.” You shrugged and he laughed. You both got in the hut. It was organized as always, you laid down but Senku didn’t. “What are you waiting for?”

He stayed quiet and opened the doors of the hut, simply letting the breeze in, his eyes were looking up. “We are back to normality, aren’t we?”

“Oh that, for sure, I had missed it quite a lot.” You sat up and moved to his side by the entrance. “Once again the warmth of home, the sense of calm with the reestablishment of routine, the comfort of stargazing, ah… the summer is approaching, what a hell.”

He shook his head, by that point he was used to it, and had graduated from ramble-ology with honors. Gradually, the exhaustion from the failed iron baking and the lack of proper rest caught up to him, and he started getting closer to the floor after resting on his hands, then on his elbows and finally giving up and laying down, but you patted your legs and after a frown and an eye roll he complied, resting his head on your lap. Almost automatically your hand went to his cheek, caressing it idly while your eyes evaluated the sky in silence. Senku had learned that your silence was as loud as your words sometimes, and he attributed that particular silence to the same exhaustion he had. His eyes diverted back to the sky, but it took more work to look at the stars so he settled on looking at you instead. 

“Why did you adopt Suika?”

“Every kid should have a reliable adult to help them navigate life.”

“You’re barely an adult.”

“I’ll be a bastard and say that between Chrome or Kohaku, I am the best option.” You looked at him and pinched his cheek. “Additionally I am well over millennia old, that shall be enough. Why are you against it, hater? You are adopted too.”

“I would say that being a parent is a lot of responsibility, plus you have known her for two days.”

“Arguably, so is reviving humanity after cataclysm.” You smiled. “Don’t you like single moms?”

“What the fuck…”

“I like you, but my child comes first.” 

Senku laughed. You kept caressing his cheek and looking at the sky. Suika reminded you of yourself as a kid, in an odd way you could not precisely pinpoint. Senku realized too, even plainly from the way Suika would talk about herself, he had seen it before, in you, so it only made sense that you wanted to take care of her, maybe do for her what no one did for you. He sighed, in a manner just like yours, and after a while he pulled your hand. You took a last look at the sky before closing the doors and lying down beside him. 

Once you were lying down too, Senku opened his arms, not in an endearing way, it was more of a ceremonial act, something automatic. 

"We got this, okay?" You said as you hid him in your arms, caressing his hair. "We will cook something amazing, sway the masses our way, save Kohaku's sister, defeat Tsukasa, have Yuzuriha and Taiju back, bring back civilization, all the good stuff. It may feel precipitous or rather untimely, but we surely can, you can, and I will help you along the way too as a dutiful wife who is soon to be your ex-wife, full-time neighbor, first citizen of the kingdom, associate archenemy even, okay? Don't fret, we will sit victorious at the end."

"I'm not fretting." Senku rolled his eyes, his forehead resting against your collarbone, your faint scent making him feel sleepier. 

"Remember that I have known you for virtually most of my life, I came to learn what each twitch of your grimace means, and even so, at the present uncertainty and ominous future, reassurance and support is only logical." You smiled. "I can just feel the uneasiness in you, and since you are embarrassed to engage in normal human socialization and I can't comfort you during the day when we are busy, I will make sure to lift your spirits before we sleep so you don't have more nightmares."

"You won't take no for an answer." Senku said, not a question, a statement.

"That's right! If you really think about it, I'm saving myself, my wife and my daughter from the evil tyrant of the kingdom and his decree of exploitation." You tickled his neck. "Who is also my soon-to-be ex-husband, woah, the dilemmas of the kingdom would entice the best gossip."

"Whatever, just go to sleep. Goodnight."

"You said it first." 

"Shut the hell up."

A few giggles and then you were out cold. He shook his head and slept too, his cheek pressing against you with more consistency than before.

The next day came by fast, Suika knocked on the door of the hut early in the morning, waking you and Senku both. 

"I think it's time we sleep only with our extremities touching, summer is here after all, you are normally cold but oddly warm when we sleep." You said with your eyelids heavy, taking a strand of hair out of your mouth. 

"Ew, stop drooling in your sleep."

"Good morning! Kohaku and Chrome are ready to go to the field." Suika said, opening one of the doors, peeking through the door. "Why aren't you ready? Are you sick so you stay asleep so late?"

You and Senku looked at each other in silence, and got ready in a hurry to not make them wait. The walk was probably the longest part of the journey, Chrome and Kohaku knew some of the spots as you walked around. Suika stopped for a second, leaning down to re-tie her shoes. 

"Do you want me to pick you up?" You asked and she looked confused. 

"Why?" 

"Well, normally that is what people do with kids." You explained and she shrugged. You picked her up and kept walking. "I remember that when I was a kid, my mom made me walk a lot, everywhere, she would get mad if I complained, she walked fast and I couldn't keep up because my legs were too short."

"Do you miss the people from the old world that are statues?" Chrome asked, getting distracted from his conversation with Senku. 

"Not really. Me and my parents didn't get along, and I have no friends." Almost like a reflex you said. Senku frowned. 

"We are your friends now!" Chrome and Kohaku responded immediately. 

"And family!" Suika hugged you. You laughed, but nodded and kept walking, not dwelling much on the topic. 

The field became visible after a while, and once you all reached it, Kohaku started cutting the plants and the rest picking them up. Once the two baskets were full, you walked back to the village and the culinary show started. First, you all had to beat the branches against rocks so the grains could come loose, then wash them, strained it, ground them, and finally mix the powdered flour with eggs to make it into the precise consistency. 

"It is up to you from now." Senku gave you a few bowls and the food, and so you rolled up imaginary sleeves and started working, seasoning, appropriate timing, you even thought of your mom coming home and it made you tweak out but in an efficient way. After an hour or so, the food was ready. 

Suika and Kohaku watched, with a lack of trust in their faces, but Chrome decided to try it, and as expected, his unrefined palate was fascinated, and so was Suika's and Kohaku's.

You smiled pleased, sitting on the ground. You slid a bowl to Senku, and he didn't hesitate to take it. 

"This is horrible..." He sat defeated. "The soup on itself is good, the meat, the vegetables, but these foxtail noodles suck." 

You took the plate and gave it a try, it was like eating grass. 

"It works, we are not recruiting food critics, only primitive people." You patted his back. 

"You are right! Get up citizens! We are building something." 

"Is it a store? A food truck? Delivery app?" You asked excitedly. "I always dreamt of working in a cozy restaurant."

"Food truck, kinda." Senku nodded. After eating, Chrome and Suika went for materials, some bamboo, a pot, cutlery. 

Building the truck took half a day, still shorter than the actual trip to the field of foxtail millet. You cut the bamboo and tied together the wheels, mounted the counter, all while Senku watched and complained about the inefficiency and lack of symmetry despite not participating. 

"I brought this!" Suika showed a seashell with holes, which she started blowing into and making sounds like an ocarina. 

"So this will be our dynamic." You started. "Senku is the greedy business owner who doesn't allow us to eat within premises. I will be store manager, Kohaku is the talkative chef and server, Suika is my child who does homework in the corner and Chrome is the new hire." 

"I like your magic words." Chrome agreed. 

"This is not a school play." Senku scolded.

Soon, the villagers started coming, and you served them one after the other, feeling pleased at their compliments of the food. 

"Look, is the sparkly sisters." Chrome pointed with a gossipy face. "Aren't you jealous that they are flirting with Senku?"

"I am not really a jealous person, but I can see why that would cause jealousy..."

"Why? Is that part of being a thinker?" Chrome asked and you smiled proud at his inquiries.

"Not precisely, I think it is simply within my nature. Regardless, regular people have a hard time fully understanding Senku despite finding him charming, I understand people easily and not only that, I have seen him roll down the hill of insanity and know him as the palm of my own hand, whatever measly conversation he has with someone won't compare to the power and information I have over him."

"Remind me of not getting on your bad side." 

The business was booming, despite no money being involved, you felt satiated with every good verbal review of the food. You took some time to analyze the villagers, who all had very similar characteristics and not much variation, so hence a small genetic pool of ancestors. 

"Ah. This ramen is making me wickedly thirsty. A cola would be great." An unknown voice mentioned. 

"I dislike the idea of soup and soda, get out of my business... No, these innocent people do not know carbonated beverages and their dangerously high sugar levels." You pointed out immediately startled. 

Kohaku, Kinro and Ginro were quick to jump and surround the stranger. Kohaku asked some questions, like if he was with Tsukasa. He introduced himself as Gen Asagiri, and said he was wandering alone, after some back and forth between Kohaku and him, you touched the blonde's shoulder and stepped in. 

"Hey, a beauty! Are you another villager?" Gen asked with a smile, you took his hands.

"Hands too unrefined, for these perfect stitches on your clothes. There are no sewing machines or mass produced pieces in this world, and you don't cut it for having the type of fine motor skills needed. Additionally, if you were truly alone and somehow managed to sew your clothes perfectly, how did you manage to dye your jacket purple? Leather does not normally come in that color, does it? So what natural ingredient did you use?" 

"I used a flower I found around." 

"Lies." You pointed at him.

"I see who you are now! It is a wonder you are alive!" Gen clapped.

"Everyone who eats, works." Senku interrupted and guided the mentalist towards the furnace. His red eyes met yours, a silent acknowledgment of the situation. Your eyes pointed to Gen, asking Senku if you should do something, but he scrunched his nose only so slightly, telling you to wait, so you grabbed Suika's hands and sat down overseeing the operations, cutting in slices a peach you had saved up and eating with her, she took the watermelon off her head and ate the slices. Her brown eyes reminded you of someone. 

Senku approached Gen after a while, once he was exhausted from working, a tactic too obvious, but you remained sitting with Suika laying on your lap as you caressed her hair. The conversation was a pain to hear, lacking complexity and the mental games you would have expected from Gen. 

"Taiju's strength seems to never run out, and Yuzuriha is as diligent as ever, but you know that, right Senku?" Gen smiled wickedly despite the physical exertion. 

Suika fell asleep, so you gently put her head on the grass and walked up to Senku. 

"You actually made Tsukasa believe you killed yourself." Gen mumbled as he worked, your attention and Senku's immediately diverting to his words. "His description was oddly accurate, 'calm ethereal girl, with a turmoiled heart, complicated words, even more complicated thoughts', I'd say that's you. Tsukasa talked to me about both of you, and when he sent me to confirm that Senku was dead, he did not ask me to confirm if you were dead or not, it makes sense."

"You know I can see right through you right?" You asked Gen, approaching him more. "So what happened to you? In your childhood? Was it your parents? They didn't take their arguments away from you, was that it? How did you escape? Is this how you cope, with trying to understand the human mind? How many friends would you say you have?"

"My, you are indeed a scary one." Gen smiled, his eyes closed, afflicted by your words. "It takes an insane amount of pain to deduce that so easily, doesn't it?"

"I bow before you at the mutual recognition." You stood your ground, leaving Chrome and Kohaku speechless after the exchange. After asking one of the villagers if they had recuperated their energies, you grabbed Gen by the collar of his clothes and dragged him to a more secluded area, Senku followed along. "What do you want?"

"What do you mean, dear?"

"Confirming a fact you deduced to be true before even engaging is an easy task, so if you bothered playing along with this all is because your twisted mind is turning its gears. Confess, before I beat you up."

"I have a hunch you would." A nervous smile from Gen. "It was indeed easy, but after seeing all of this, if you make iron weapons, who knows who will come on top. I want to be on the winning side."

"I anticipate that you will give me a grandiose fake speech scheme on your lack of morality and shallowness and contrast the good sides of each part. So before I lose my thinning self control, I will leave this to Senku." You gently pulled Senku to your side.

"It is true, that is truly the extent of my concern. On one hand, there's the scientific creations and ramen and all that. But hellish, back breaking work is just not my style. On the other hand, Tsukasa's settlement lacks science and the food is rather plain. But my work is easy. And if I revive a few hot celebs, I could have the harem of my dreams." Gen nodded.

"What's a harem?" Suika asked, appearing by your side suddenly, rubbing her eyes.

"No!" You exclaimed, picking the girl up. "This part is up to you Senku, if it all goes wrong, I will slap him until he is gone for good."

"You should be grateful for having her grant such a mercy, I would not want to be slapped by that iron fist." Senku told Gen as you walked away with Suika, gently telling her that sometimes it was not good to eavesdrop.

Senku and Gen talked, you heard some of it, most of it was irrelevant, aside from a single word: "Generator". Suika asked what that was, and so you explained, but it developed into a series of questions of what that was and that and that; you sighed but smiled, shaking your head and explaining time after time. 

Night fell upon the settlement quickly, and luckily you escaped participating in the iron baking. Once it was time to sleep, you dropped Suika off at the bridge, hugging Kohaku, then the girl, wishing Kinro and Ginro a good night and walking back to the hut. 

"Get off the ceiling, what if you fall?" You shooed at Senku. Then turned to look at Gen. "Sleep under the hut, in case it rains, don't try anything funny." 

"I thought you hated me." Gen pouted.

"If you offend me I won't react, I know me better than you do." You shrugged and climbed the stairs to the hut. "Do not give me a reason to hate you."

"Bad mood?" Senku asked once he got off the ceiling and closed one of the doors of the hut.

"Well naturally..." While sighing like if you were a deflating balloon, you nodded. "It is easy swaying around a bat like Gen, but it makes me uneasy, it feels as if though we have run away, we are within the claws of evil, like a bad curse, ah I wonder what is the reason behind it, bad luck? My brain is tired, but I want to think about everything."

"Do not fry your brain when we need it, as much as it is a bother."

"A bother indeed, take me back to the days of unconsciousness." You extended your hand as your back hit the floor. 

"I have extremely bad luck, but you bring a new variable to the table, what should I call it...? Maybe 'saved by a millimeter', something ridiculous, but seems to have worked out until now, so we will rely on my science brain, whatever your brain runs on and 'saved by a millimeter' and we got it, plus we have the slaves now... I mean, estimated citizens."

"It sounds like a superpower." You yawned, Senku was looking at the stars, you took a lazy glance before closing your eyes to rest for a second only to fall asleep. It was a curious occurrence, even if your body was exhausted, you could stay awake, but if your mind was only slightly tired you needed to sleep immediately. 

Senku sighed when he noticed you had fallen asleep, so he moved you to a comfortable position and laid down too. His eyes stayed open for longer, trying to make sense of the shadows of your face. You were asleep and gone, so his hand climbed to your cheek, and he simply let his fingertips graze your skin like you had done to him the previous night. 

taglist: @thelonestarinthesky, @bookworm-center, @iheartpieck

[queeoretician]

It's amazing how much incidental and easy-to-miss queerness tazmuir manages to pack into the Fourth House section of the Cohort Intelligence Files at the end of GtN.

"Sir Jeannemary Chatur" is a cool vibe and easy to spot, but it's worth taking a close look at Judith's notes on Isaac too:

Abigail Pent has forged a strong relationship with both Tettares and Chatur, much stronger even than her mothers’ relationship with Tettares’ father. It is already suggested that her nephew will be affianced to him once they are of age.

Firstly, "mothers'" (not "mother's"), indicating that Abigail has two moms - this is subtle enough that I missed it in all 5 or so of my prior readings.

Second, and more complicatedly, that Abigail is planning to have Isaac marry her nephew. On the surface of it, this seems cool - my initial reading was that Isaac is gay, and Abigail wants him to have a spouse who he has some chance of being interested in. But given that this is in the context of an arranged marriage between aristocratic families, we should also consider the reproductive lens (especially given the mention of his siblings being "a mix of vat-womb and XX carry" in the preceding paragraph) - I think a more compelling reading of this passage is actually that Isaac is trans¹ (or Abigail's nephew is). And tugging on this thread takes us to a bit of a dark place.

Given how much the Fourth and Fifth evidently care about the heredity of their rulers, we can infer that someone in Isaac's position wouldn't have any real reproductive autonomy even if he had survived to adulthood. And while the existence of vat wombs obviates the horror of forced pregnancy/childbirth, this is still a pretty fucked up situation (to say nothing of the Ninth where they don't even have access to vat wombs). To me, this signifies a fundamental injustice of organising society around hereditary nobility; one that persists even if it can be made to be superficially gay- and trans-inclusive.

With this in mind it's worth interrogating my use of the word "queerness" at the beginning of the post. In the real world "queer" is viable as an umbrella term for all the many LGBTQIA+ identities specifically because those identities are all at odds with the cis-/hetero-/etc.-normative nature of our society. But in the Nine Houses it doesn't seem like being gay/bisexual/trans is stigmatised in the same way, so one could say that these identities are not "queer" per se (strange, other) in a diegetic context.

"Sir Jeannemary Chatur" reflects a similar mismatch. In the real world, a woman using the title "sir" is at odds with both traditional gender roles and (more significantly) institutional usage of the title. But in the Nine Houses this title seems to be devoid of any specific gendered connotations, and its application to Jeannemary is not a subversion of that society's gender norms, but instead an affirmation of the (normative, exploitative) social role of cavalier.

So in summary: Isaac is trans, what queerness means in the Nine Houses can be quite different from what it means in the real world, and pinkwashing an unjust society doesn't make it more just (even if it's headed by a queer person).

¹ This isn't to say that Isaac isn't gay - I headcanon him as both gay and trans. But I don't think him being married off to Abigail's nephew is (primarily) about his sexual orientation.

PS: If you like being haunted by the ghosts of these characters, check out @katakaluptastrophy's fic, Your children are weapons, which got me thinking about these two again lately.

[talonabraxas]

“Wisdom requires not only the investigation of many things, but contemplation of the mystery.” ― Jeremy Narby, The Cosmic Serpent: DNA and the Origins of Knowledge

Cosmic Serpent Talon Abraxas

DNA AND YOGIC POWERS Several thousands of years ago in India, it was already known that via practices of yoga, certain powers or siddhis could be expected. Patanjali is credited with writing down the primary information of yoga in the form of the yoga sutras around 400 CE in four chapters or books called padas. The third chapter or pada, entitled Vibuti Pada, with fifty-six sutras, is focused on the yogic powers or siddhis the yogi can expect to appear and contains a warning not to use the powers because they can lead the serious aspirant away from the final goal of yoga, which is total union.

Although we are warned not to take advantage of these siddhis (there are about twenty-one listed in the yoga sutras), these amazing powers are very seductive, to say the least. How many yoga students have fantasized about having some of the storied abilities of great yogis?

Knowledge of these siddhis has led me to review several unique experiences in my own life when highly unusual or even miraculous events occurred. Of particular interest was the time around my thirtieth birthday, on the Spanish island of Formentera, when I heard “the music of the spheres.” Many years ago when I was first pondering the questions that led to writing my book, the following two profound queries presented themselves: What were the causes? And how did the complex astrology of the time contribute?

The first question is related to the Yoga Sutra’s treatment of siddhis or yogic powers and the amazing effects of extreme situations like kundalini yoga and physical stress. The second question pointed over time toward the importance of certain astrological ingredients that resulted in the Alchemical Tantric Arrangement (ATA) of the zodiac that brings together the three systems of alchemy, the tantric yoga chakras, and astrology.

Of great symbolic interest is the fact that the ATA reveals the correlation at the base of the spine of the coiled Kundalini serpent, the central channel of chakras, the zodiac signs of Capricorn and Aquarius and their rulers Saturn and Uranus at the edge between the visible and invisible, and many other astrological indications of completion of the old and awakening of the new. When important planets transit over the cusp between Capricorn and Aquarius, powerful kundalini type energy is activated. Throughout the year 2020 many major planets were moving over this symbolically charged point, so I recognized some time ago that we could expect powerful change during that year.

A further important point is the similarity symbolically between the mythology of the Cosmic Serpent, the DNA molecule, and the staff of the messenger divinity Hermes/Mercury. Symbolically DNA is another way of talking scientifically/chemically about what was called the kundalini serpent power alchemically. What if the DNA crystal, like many other crystals, has the ability to hold information, and what if this crystal, from its travels throughout the cosmos, could be fantastically knowledgeable, might we even say super wise? What if the DNA molecule, or more precisely, the 125 billion miles of DNA in a human body, has a type of intelligence allowing it to assess an intense situation and deem it worthy of activating the extra abilities required to survive or excel? What if, in extreme situations and especially at certain astrological times, the 97% of our DNA that is not presently understood could be activated to bring about miraculous experiences and powers? The ancient yogis knew how to do this, and perhaps Alchemical Tantric Astrology is a way to rediscover the best times for these powers to be awakened.

[chefkids]

Hi i'm Francesca, i follow you on twitter, but I cannot message you there :( i need your help as my sydcarmy guru! So a friend of mine (male) has just finished to watch the series, and he doesn't see how people can ship sydcarmy except for the table scene. I gave him several examples of how the two seem cosmically connected, and and he sees how C. Might be attracted to S. But doesn't see any signs of attraction form s. Do you have advice on any threads/posts highlighting those moments ?

hi!

I would say that Sydney is much more closed off with her emotions and we don't really see as much of her internal thoughts as we do with Carmy. I do think Carmy is further ahead in liking Sydney and accepting it than she is in liking him back.

But starting from the beginning I would say her short rib risotto and what it represents, joining her and Carmy, is the first big tell of her state of mind and starting to like him.

In Season 2 she literally waits for him to make a move and ask her out at the lockers. We later see Marcus trying to ask her out and as soon as she realizes what's going on she shuts it down. She didn't shut Carmy down and waited to see if he'd ask her out because she wanted him to ask her out. We also see her break the tension with Marcus on facetime when he starts getting soft spoken with her, and later with Carmy under the table she just lets it happen.

Then with the whole Claire situation she prioritizes Carmy deciding his relationship status over anything related to the restaurant. Even Marcus was like who cares whatever when Syd told him Claire was Carmy's girlfriend. That shows that Sydney cares more about Carmy's romantic relationship even though what business does she really have demanding that of him if she wasn't interested.

The pasta montage where Carmy cooks Claire Syd's recipe and then we see Sydney's tattoo with the 3 of swords, indicating her feelings of betrayal.

We then get her clarifying that she wasn't jealous or bitter about Claire to Carmy, like girl no one was saying that but maybe you have a point if you felt the need to bring it up lmao

In Season 3 we see her stick by Carmy when she would've just dropped and quit in any other situation. We get little moments of her showing she cares for Carmy, the same way he does things for her, like in the write in the margins scene. She's obviously losing hope with him at this point but is still emotionally attatched to him and everyone at The Bear. I think at this point she has kind of lost most of the romantic hope she had for Carmy at the start of Season 2 because she is constantly hearing from everyone that Carmy loves Claire.

I think next season will focus on Carmy showing Syd that same passion and focus he had for her back in S1 and S2, and getting her to fall for him again. I think we'll also hopefully get more of an insight into how she feels about him with how she approaches the Luca situation. She was flirty with him, but also hesitant. I think Luca will probably clock how Carmy feels about Sydney before Sydney does, and before she really shows how she feels about Carmy.

[heyclickadee]

So, here’s the thing. The finale is weird. Yes, I’m hurt by the fact that Tech didn’t come back and that a character that’s very near and dear to my heart was badly handled, and that will never sit right with me. But even apart from that, the finale fundamentally does not function as a piece of storytelling or as the end to this story. I’m glad that people are enjoying it, and I will never tell anyone not to. But I don’t think it works. (I get very negative about the TBB finale under the cut.)

It’s not just the Tech stuff or the CX-2 stuff (which may very well have been the same stuff) that got dropped. It’s *everything*. Every theme, Every narrative thread besides retrieving Omega, every character arc except marginally Omega’s, Echo’s (also marginal), and Emerie’s, which was the shortest and gets wrapped up by her deciding to help Echo rescue the kids. It all stops. It makes everything that came before seem cheap and pointless if you take it into account. And this is so, so frustrating for me, because the entire show was driving towards this incredibly rich payoff, it could have been immaculate, and then it whiffed the ball so bad in the last episode that it didn’t just miss, it managed to knock over the bleachers and set the entire court on fire.

Some examples:

1. This season had a really interesting exploration of Crosshair’s PTSD via his hand tremor and how it was something he can learn to manage, but not something that would ever fully go away. Aaaaand then his hand gets chopped off. One, that was stupid. I’ve seen some excellent posts (here’s one by @the-bi-space-ace) detailing why that was a terrible way to handle Crosshair’s lingering trauma, and others talking about how the idea there was that Crosshair needed to move on and it was severing his last ties with the empire. The former, I agree with; the latter, I don’t, because not only—not only!—does this episode stop dealing with Crosshair’s trauma, it doesn’t even deal with having cut off his hand! It just sort of occurs. No one reacts to it, no one says anything about it, there’s no follow up or commentary, nothing happens as a result—it’s an event which occurs with no results coming after it. It may as well be an animation error. You can say it was about Crosshair needing to let go and move on, but that’s something you have to project on to the text, not something that’s actually offered by it. It’s empty.

2. Crosshair again: We also have the lingering issue of Crosshair’s guilt and the fact that he never seems to get to a point where it’s resolved. There’s set up for a resolution. We have that, “Sure you have,” like about Crosshair from Rampart. We also have Crosshair saying he deserves whatever happens to him in Tantiss. And then…no pushback. No resolution. No moment of Crosshair realizing that he doesn’t need to carry that burden. Nothing that says he didn’t deserve what happened to him. He had all this character development this season, but he needed - last little push to forgive himself—and we never get any indication that he does. It, like his trauma, gets dropped like a rock.

3. Hey! More Crosshair! A good chunk of Crosshair’s arc this season was about learning that anyone can change, first, and that no one is beyond saving. Eeexcept that goes no where.

4. Which brings me to my next point: There is set up for the CXs to be saved. Even if we’re laboring under the conclusion that CX-2 was never intended to be Tech at any point in the writing process (I have. Doubts. Yes, I’m calling the creative team liars, here, but with the understanding that they have contracts that may require them to lie), we do have the set up where we learn the electrocyanide zappers can be removed, and with Rex offering forgiveness to CX-1. “Whatever they did to you, whatever you’ve done, you’re still one of us.” CX-Tech or no, Crosshair’s arc was tied up with the CX plot, and because he’s the one the CXs tend to react to—or, at least, understands what was done to them—the set up was there for him to help save and maybe rehab the CXs. At the least, there was an indication that they could be saved. Eeexcept nope! That gets dropped like a rock, too, and they’re not going to deal with it. Time for maximum carnage.

5. Hunter’s arc actually takes a step backwards. Sure, he gets a technically happy ending, but because the squad is basically in the same place they were in “Pabu” back in season two (down a member but successfully hiding from the Empire in a safe place), it negates Hunter’s development towards actually taking action—and actually hurts Echo’s arc, too.

There’s been this tension all through the show between just sitting things out on the one hand (Hunter’s way) and taking direct action despite the futility on the other (Echo’s way), but instead of finding some kind of middle ground or third road, it sort of comes back around to saying that, actually, Hunter was right, they should have just gone to Idaflor back in episode three and never left even though the Pabu invasion said that no, you can’t just hide, and even Hunter’s development was moving in the opposite direction. And this also means that Echo never reaches a point where he feels like he can walk away and that he doesn’t have to get himself killed doing this. Despite development otherwise they both end up back at that conversation in “Tipping Point” without any move in either direction or resolution of that tension.

6. Omega. Okay, Omega probably comes out the best after the finale, and, conceptually, I actually love the idea of Omega becoming a pilot even if the epilogue falls a little flat for me. But stuff with Omega still got dropped, including:

- The force stuff. We have two episodes dealing with m-count (after learning in episode three what Omega was created to do). We also have Ventress telling Omega that she doesn’t have a high m-count as far as she can see, Crosshair immediately calling Ventress out for lying, and then Ventress basically saying, “Yeah, no shit, but if she has force potential she’d have to leave you behind, and it doesn’t matter what your opinion on that is, so I’m not dealing with that.” Aaaand then,m. That. Goes nowhere. Despite a bit of set up for Omega connecting to the force as early as episode one, and some more set up in Tribe, and that whole subplot of her learning how to meditate, and so on.

Now, I don’t think that it was ever going to turn out that Omega did actually have a high m-count or that she had a particularly powerful natural connection to the force. I think she’s probably got a low or baseline m-count. What I do think, however, is that we were going to see Omega connect anyway as a refutation of Palpatine’s and Hemlock’s entire scheme. Their goal (based off of the ST) was to create extremely force sensitive clones as a way for Palpatine to jump bodies without having to waste time re-learning how to connect to the force. You know—dark side, quick and easy path, focus on eugenics and raw power, etc. Had Omega connected anyway because of her big heart and desire to protect, it would have not only paid off that set up, it would have also refuted Palpatine’s and Hemlock’s entire goal. It would have worked so well thematically and the set up was THERE.

- branching off of that, I think the Omega force stuff was probably tied to the Zillo beast. We also had a through-line of Omega being good with animals and taking the time to calm them instead of responding with violence. The first time we see this is in “Replacements,” where she realizes that the ordo moon dragon (also an electrophage—I don’t know what to call these things—like the zillo beast) is just scared and hungry. This is all conjectural, but it still fits with what was set up.

- Moving on from the force stuff, we also had a through-line that started way back in episode two of the series, but which was really emphasized this season, about Omega feeling like she’s the cause of the bad things that happen to the people she loves. This is why she gives herself up during the Pabu invasion in the first place. This is never resolved! We get Omega’s confidence boost when she realizes she has the force kids to take care of, but we never get a moment where Omega realizes that she has no reason to feel guilty. She’s the glue that holds the family together! But nope! Also dropped!

- But wait! There’s more! The first two season finales have Omega watching someone she loves fall away while she’s helpless to do anything to save them. That’s perfect set up to put Omega in the same situation, but be able to save them, because she’s finally come into her own. Instead we just end up with her needing to be rescued again.

- Omega has this big speech in Shadows of Tantiss about spending her life stuck in one place or another against her will, and how she refuses to be confined like that. I don’t think Omega would have been happy just staying on Pabu for the entire rest of her childhood and young adult life, even if I think she’d want to use it on a home base. But! Dropped!

7. I still can’t get over the fact that the zillo beast is on screen for about two minutes and then just. Walks away. It’s a large beastie that’s been locked in confinement for a while and is probably hungry. And somehow it didn’t go straight to the reactors for some delicious energy smoothies. Like. It. Did. The. Last. Time. Someone. Let. It. Out. But no, that would have required it sticking around for something that was probably dropped sooooo ZILLO BEAST EXIT STAGE RIGHT I GUESS. (Edit: I have been reminded that Hemlock does say to turn off the generators once the zillo beast is out, so that at least makes sense. I still think the zillo beast should have stuck around to do something.)

8. You notice how there are a ton of commandos around Tantiss, even up through “Flash Strike?” And how they kind of largely cease to exist? And how Echo says that there are far more clones imprisoned in Tantiss than anyone thought? And then how they rescue, like, a dozen guys? Because we never find our way back to those cells Crosshair was held in during season two? And how Tarkin does mention not wanting to allow clone dissidence to turn into an uprising back in “The Summit?” Because I did. This show was never going to be about a clone rebellion, that wasn’t the point, buuut I do think the set up was there for an uprising at Tantiss itself. Begin the series with clones losing their agency en masse, end the series with some of the most subdued clones taking it back. Except nope, dropped, soooo we gotta pretend the commandos don’t exist and murder the hell out of poor Scorch.

9. SPEAKING OF. The batch does kill clones sometimes, that does happen, but they do at least usually make some kind of effort to be non-lethal even when they’re not using stun, and times when they do resort to lethal tactics are usually born out of extreme circumstances. Not here, though!! NO HESITATION MAXIMUM CARNAGE. For. Reasons I guess.

10. There’s one point IN THE FINALE where Echo mentions signaling for Rex. This never comes up again. Rex does not show up. In fact, despite being called, “The Cavalry Has Arrived,” the cavalry does not in fact arrive. There is no cavalry. Yes, I know it’s a reference to Wrecker’s first line. But I’m sorry if you call an episode that YOU HAD BETTER HAVE A CAVALRY SHOW UP. Especially when you have a one about calling them in! But that also!! Got dropped like a rock!!

11. One positive: the moment Crosshair and Hunter leaning on each other to make that shot was nice.

12. Sorry, but Hemlock’s death was deeply unsatisfying. Let’s do something more than just shoot him multiple times, okay?

13. Rampart’s death, on the other hand, was incredibly satisfying. That said, the conversation about project necromancer? I’m dying. It’s actually hilarious, because it basically goes like:

“Tell me about project necromancer.”

“Wow! How interesting!”

I’m.

Are you serious?

I’m going to become the Joker.

Yes, I know we know what project necromancer is because of a different show. That’s not the point, the POINT. Is that any pay off for project necromancer in this show got dropped. And that’s deeply frustrating from a narrative perspective.

14. Speaking of, we never find out anything more regarding that partially successful m-count transfer from episode three.

15. We also never do anything with those medical records!

16. And Omega has a whole crossbow she never actually shoots despite the fact that her role on the team was as a sharpshooter after Crosshair left, and despite her getting advice from Crosshair on how to be a sniper. The literal chekov’s gun never goes off. I’m going to go eat gravel.

17. AZI, likewise, got toted around for three seasons for no reason. Probably could have helped with the medical records. Given that he was a Kaminoan medical droid. Oh, and that Omega was Nala Se’s medical assistant. So. Hmm.

18. You can cut everything in the season past episode five and skip straight to the epilogue and end up in the same place. This is not because the other episodes are filler. Far from it! The other episodes are great and deliver some amazing set up. But, because the finale does nothing with that set up, it doesn’t go anywhere.

19. And you know what else? From a narrative perspective, there’s no reason for Hunter, Wrecker, and Crosshair to be in these episodes at all. They don’t accomplish anything and make everyone else’s job harder. Omega was doing fine, she would have gotten out with the kids with just Echo and Emerie, and Tarkin was coming to cut off Hemlock’s funding and shut everything down once Hemlock lost control of the facility anyway. I can only suppose that the whole reason they were in this episode ended up getting dropped, too.

20. CX-2. Listen, the answer we get about CX-2 isn’t that he’s not Tech. It’s, “Maybe, maybe not—you don’t get to know.” Because. He’s the only CX whose mask never comes off. After a season and a half worth of buildup of unmasking CXs and people pressing them to learn their names. It’s not a no, it’s a non-answer, which is far less satisfying.

And finally:

21: CX-Tech. I’ve seen some people speculating that there was a planned CX-Tech reveal that got scrapped at the last minute—dropped, along with the other points I’ve already laid out. And, honestly? I have to agree. Despite what the creative team says, because even their denials kind of come out weird (like the Kiners saying that the large brass chord in “Battle of the Snipers” was just a nice sounding brass chord and not a reference to “Plan 99.” They also basically say that the sacrifice theme from “Plan 99” is Tech’s leitmotif. Which. Is all over “Battle of the Snipers.” That theme. Not Crosshair’s. In a scene. Where he’s supposed to be fighting a shadow of himself who Totally Isn’t Tech but we put Tech’s leitmotif here and layered it in Techno music but nooo that was never supposed to be him. Nope. I mean, come on. I’m not stupid).This post is already long enough, so here are some posts by @apocalyp-tech-a pointing out the reasons why I think this was the case, and one by @eriexplosion pointing out why CX-2 as Crosshair’s shadow and only that doesn’t quite work. I don’t need to go over the trail that was laid out again. Up to the finale this was a character that had more screen time—and far more solo screen time—than Echo. Some people will not stop yelling that there was no evidence, and. No. I’m sorry, there was. I can’t agree.

And some people might say, well, okay, the show misdirected you guys and pulled off a twist by having CX-2 be no one, and well, I can’t agree with that either. Twists only function if the twist is more satisfying than the conclusion to which the story seems to be leading. And I’m sorry, you can’t tell me that a season and a half of CX building and three seasons (because I can find set up all the way back in episode one of the show) for Tech survival culminating in what amounts to a boss fight is more satisfying than getting to see Omega have her big brother back. You can’t.

The reason I bring this up last is because, yes, I think CX-Tech was a plot dropped at the last minute, but because I also think that it’s the dropped plot that ripped everything else apart. CX-Tech was an incredibly efficient way to tie up most of the lingering plot threads and dropped character development.

-Crosshair’s guilt? Okay, he faces down the end result of his decision to stay with the empire and possibly something he knew about (Tech would be in this situation because of Crosshair, and were given hints that Crosshair knew) and is finally able to forgive himself because they’re able to save him.

- Hunter’s decision to finally take action and be proactive rather than reactive is validated, because it’s the thing that finally gets him his entire family back.

- Echo saves someone the same way he was saved, and maybe he realizes that it is enough and that he doesn’t have to be a soldier forever.

- Wrecker’s efforts to keep the family together and keep Hunter sane finally pay off.

- Omega is able to protect the people she charges about and finally, finally has all of her brothers.

- Thematically, it rounds off each member of the batch (Omega included) traumatically losing and then taking back their agency in a way that correlates directly to who and how they are as people.

- It also rounds out the OG batchers each being haunted by a failure that has to do with the thing that makes them special.

- You get pushback against “Clone Force 99 died with Tech! We’re not that squad anymore!” because no, it didn’t, and they’re more than a squad, they’re a family.

- It comes around and closes the wound opened in Aftermath and ripped back open by Return to Kamino: they go in for Omega and lose someone, but here, they go in for Omega and get someone back.

- Would allow Tech to close off his lingering threads and finish his character development BECAUSE THOSE REMAINED UNFINISHED.

- Completely subverts the “bury your disabled” trope by making sure we know the character whose disability was explored the most’s life is more important than his death. Seems like an important thing to do in a show that is kind of about disability. Just saying.

- Makes the lack of closure and little mentions of Tech make sense from a storytelling POV because the necessarily catharsis would come from his return.

- And it would actually add some triumph to the ending. Yes, this little family survived. They outlived the war. They’re together, despite every effort to rip them apart. They made it, despite the dark times, despite the Empire, despite what they were made to do and be. They defied all of that. That would have been so, so satisfying.

As is, without Tech, without that CX-Tech reveal, we sort of end up in this weird place where all the themes are half-baked. They are more than soldiers…except Tech, who had to fall out of the story as a soldier (despite us getting the clearest glimpse of what his life outside of soldiering could have been). They get to live how they want…except Tech. They don’t leave their own behind, except Tech that one time. They should value their own lives a little…except Tech. They’re more than a squad, they’re a family…except Tech, the only one besides Omega to say that’s what they are, doesn’t get to see it, and they don’t get to have him around. We begin the series with a broken family and end it with a family broken differently. That’s not dynamic.

So there’s no really punch to the ending. It’s sort of…well, okay, we tortured a family for three seasons I guess. Relieved that the survivors are doing okay, but that’s kind of it.

22. The finale in general is just sort of a bunch of events which happen, but which don’t lead into one other. It’s weird. It’s not that too much happens, it’s that almost nothing happens. Nothing of substance, in a way. The finale is, in a word, the only true filler episode in the entire show.

TL;DR: I think a lot of stuff got dropped from the finale. I don’t know why. I suspect that it might have to do with the strikes—basically, the script was done, most everything was recorded and boarded, and then when the finale was in production they got sudden drastic budget cuts (this was during a time when the studios were disappearing entire completed shows and movies as tax write-offs), had to gut what they had planned, and couldn’t bring the writers or even showrunners in to smooth over what was gutted or to even pick what got taken out. They wouldn’t have gotten to choose or compress things. They were on strike (because the studios wouldn’t negotiate), and whoever did choose ended up just ripping out the stuff that would actually take any time or budget to deal with (so, basically everything I laid out), killing it (literally), and using the remains of what they already had recorded. And who knows how they had to fill in gaps.

But I don’t know for sure. Maybe it was that. Maybe it was a last minute decision to take certain plot points and put them in a different show. Maybe it was executive mandate. Maybe the creative team just sucked the whole time (that’s one I have a hard time buying—we have four other shows and most of this one that tell me that they’re better at their jobs than this). Maybe everyone said screw it, who even cares anymore at the same time.

Maybe nothing happened. Who knows? I strongly suspect something bad did happen behind the scenes that was out of the creative team’s hands—I really do, because that’s the only way I can make sense of this—but until we can get someone talking without six layers of PR and NDAs, we won’t know for sure. All I know is that The Bad Batch is an amazing show with 46 episodes that range from “fine-but-clunky” to “IMMACULATE,” with more leaning towards immaculate than not, and some incredible set up, and one episode so nonsensically bad it makes me want to eat drywall.

It’s just that the one terrible episode comes right at the end.

I love The Bad Batch. I love every single episode and all the things that were set up, but…eh, I think I’ll be ignoring the finale until further notice.

[pianostarinwonderland]

skully who r u [fae skully + a ramble on his possible background]

we have less than a day before we get the ending for this event and IM. NOT READY. im not ready to hear about how skully is a person from the past (and we're thinking 200 years or so), nor am i ready to go back to twst to hear that he's dead in our time and he's really the founder of modern halloween that nrc celebrates

... that's assuming he's human tho

and fortunately or unfortunately, there's hints that twst has been dropping that leads us to think otherwise

firstly: ears WHERE

in his live2D, you dont get to see his ears At All. not even a hint of an ear lobe. we know twst to be very detailed and deliberate with their designs so why did they choose to hide his ears

in his illustration, u can see a hint of an earlobe, but it's still very much covered

and as we know, when we look at malleus and lilia ears, we Know that they have pointy ears marking their pure fae ancestry. soooo skully..????? 🤨 fae skully real?????

i partly market the fae skully agenda bc PLS. WHAT IF... MEET . . .. .. IN OUR TIME. .. .. .. .... . PLS... . ... . .. . ..... 🥺 WE SEE HIM ALIVE BUT A LIL OLDER AND WAUGHHHHHHHHHHHHH pls i cant handle this yall

secondly: there is still that part in Episode 1-4 of skully saying to us "moshi... ne, moshi" instead of "moshimoshi", and a lot of ppl shared that the belief of supernatural beings not being able to address someone more than once is at play here. which would at least indicate to us that skully is at least not ur regular human being. and that is one thing about skully that we Can be sure about

on what skully may be, myonmyon put out a thread about how skully may be at least inspired by the Fear Gorta, a fae whose folklore was created from the irish famine. it's characterized by a skeletal appearance who wears tatters and rags. it can be benevolent or malevolent, but if u treat it kindly, it will bestow good blessings upon you. Fear Gorta also refers to Hungry Grass, which, if one steps on a cursed patch of grass (which i assume the fae created), they will always be hungry, no matter how much they eat, and will eventually die from starvation

ok why the irish famine? myonmyon and a few other theorists on twitter have speculated on skully possibly being inspired by (or maybe even being the twst equivalent of) the irish immigrants who moved to america, and from there, the tradition of halloween spread, resulting in the modern halloween that we know of today. it makes sense too given skully's character of spreading halloween to his fellow peers, who don't know what halloween is

oh but i don't mean to end this post here, no not yet. because there's a really interesting thread that i also found by Y_wwwsomething about how skully even got his viewpoint of halloween. i do like this thread because they kinda argue against skully's halloween being based on samhain, which a lot of people initially thought that that was his halloween. but samhain, even if it does have its scary side, is still a festival with feasting and noise, still very unlike skully's halloween. if anything, they suggested that the briar valley halloween is much closer to samhain.

my personal conclusion was that skully's halloween is based on all hallow's eve, and he's from a catholic family who celebrates halloween in a solemn manner. however, this thread is suggesting that skully idolizes the victorian british gentlemen and consequently the victorian halloween

let's look into the victorian halloween first. we note that the victorian halloween that was celebrated was often done by the upper class. several online sources will tell you that their halloween parties is, funnily enough, purposed for matchmaking. many halloween games involved girls looking into their futures, whether it's eating apples at midnight while looking at the mirror or looking at whatever object is in their apple or cake to see if they'll marry or die alone. halloween for them is less focused on fright and more on lover's passion.

however! their halloween parties are also dramatic in that they turn off the lights and only leave candles on, and when they greet guests, it's either by putting their own hand on the guest's shoulder or a glove filled with sawdust.

so we could have a situation here where skully, just like jack with christmas, may have observed one (1) party and misunderstood the victorian halloween, taking from it only the scary aspect and mixing it with any prior beliefs he may have had. it doesn't yet explain why he spent halloween alone, and tbh the catholic halloween celebration alone is already a near exact match of skully's definition of halloween, so im not very on board with this. could be that they are also loose enough to be festive? but im not sure

but im very interested about skully's possible reverence for the british gentlemen, which inspired his love for jack skellington! in the victorian era, they were defined by their birth (so if they were born to aristocratic parents), but men could also make themselves into gentlemen by growing their wealth and influence. some men have occupations that are respected enough to call them gentlemen (i.e. army members, members of the parliament). eventually the definition of a gentleman is one who received education from certain elite universities, but this is towards the end of the victorian era, so when trying to become a gentleman back then, it was much harder. so of course men tried to climb to become gentlemen. charles dickens actually wished to be recognized as a gentleman and so he wrote about it in great expectations.

and this is what interests me: during the irish famine, it's noted that british rule still stood on ireland, and if anything, the british elite even worsened the irish famine as they controlled trade between them. irish goods were exported out to britain and other countries while the people had nearly nothing, which either killed them off or pushed them to migrate. interestingly, british penal laws had it that irish catholics especially were suppressed—among their laws included that their land and home were confiscated by the british parliamentary officials in ireland

so what am i trying to get at here? it's that there's probably a nonzero chance that skully looked up to the gentlemen of britain... or if we're thinking in twst terms, the gentlemen of the queendom of roses. and this may be influenced by whatever was going on in his hometown, whether it's something akin to the irish famine and colonization or something else. a desire to be free? a desire to be more than what he is right now? it would very much be similar to sally and jack: sally, in how she wanted to be free from dr. finkelstein's controlling parenting, and jack in how he wanted to not just be the pumpkin king and tried to take over christmas. it also sort of mirrors leona's and jamil's desires for themselves too, how they want to be free to do the things they want to do and make an impact around them

what's even yummier is considering that if skully is a fae, or at least a nonhuman creature that has a distinctive ear shape, then he might take shame in his fae nature as he may perceive that the ideal gentleman is a human, which is similar to how sebek takes shame in his human nature. hence, his ears would be covered by his hair in order to hide this and mingle among the gentlemen.

anyway. idk how i went from "skully is a fae" to "skully is probably an irish catholic suppressed by the british colonial rule and wants to social climb hence he looks up to the ideal british gentleman, sees jack skellington in that image, and aims to be like that so that he can make something out of himself" but we ball ig

anyway, im cooked for tomorrow, im not ready yall :(

[witchtwig]

Costuming, Connections, and Constructing Meaning Agatha All Along Thoughts

This isn’t an essay. This is just rambling and plucking at the threads of thoughts I’ve had since the end of Agatha. Also apologies for the fact this is all over the place. I just really wanted to start sorting out some of the visual signifiers I was fixated on when looking at the Agatha All Along designs.

The costuming design, art, and choices made on Agatha All Along are phenomenal. And it is clear from just reading through Daniel Selon’s instagram how much thought and effort went into the work of making those looks stand out as strong as they did. In particular, I have been fascinated by two looks of Agatha’s—her witch’s look (first introduced in Wandavision) and her spirit’s look. In particular, I want to consider them through the lens of what they say about Agatha and potentially where she is going, but also, hypothetically, her relationship to the original Green Witch, Death, Rio Vidal. 

Agatha Harkness, Wandavision

As noted above, Agatha’s witch look was first seen in Wandavision. This is important in the context of Rio, because as a character she had not been introduced or even conceptualized yet. Despite that, I do think there are some interesting design choices on the costume that with the introduction of Rio, can be reanalyzed through that relationship (and to Nicholas, Agatha’s (and likely Rio’s) son). Specifically if we look at the neckline/chest design of the piece—there is a fascinating embroidery work. Tendrils of vines or roots mask off her chest, reminiscent of a scar. This is where her locket with Nicholas’s hair centrally sits (which, in episode 8, has fallen off and not worn during her battle with Rio). 

During episode 9, we see Agatha create a cairn over the burial of her son Nicholas. In this moment, she sings through tears that she “buried my own heart here with you, my child.” A central point of Agatha Harkness’ character throughout her journey in Agatha All Along, is that she is closed off to the point of using deceit to manipulate and obscure attempts to know or truly see her. And to turn back to the costume—this design work indicates the hidden nature of her heart. 

We can look too, beyond her witch’s costume, to her costuming within the fourth episode during the fire trial. Agatha’s heart is momentarily exposed, but she closes it off and hides it, specifically when her ex-lover, Rio, attempts to create a floor with her. It is interesting then to note that Rio has her heart on full display that entire conversation. 

Rio Vidal and Agatha Harkness, Agatha All Along episode 4

And to go further, we can also note that Rio’s costuming as Death in episode 8, quite literally exposes her obsidian heart. Where Agatha’s heart is hidden (scarred over, perhaps), Rio’s heart is on full display. Looking back at Rio’s episode 1 appearance near the end, she declares that her heart is black and beats for (you) Agatha.

Rio Vidal as Death, Agatha All Along episode 8

This is the fundamental crux of the struggle between these two characters in full display in the design choices of their costuming. Agatha’s heart is no longer on display or truly reachable (it has been buried, by Nicholas’ death, by Rio’s existence as death), versus Rio’s heart on constant display (open and yearning). To me, this is what makes the costuming and design choices of Agatha’s outfit as a spirit in episode 9 very interesting, because it suggests a shift, an evolution of her character (that may not have come into view fully yet, but can be explored moving forward).

Agatha Harkness, ghost costume behind the scenes

Agatha’s costume as a spirit has shifted from the closed, vine-covered design, to a more open space. Through death, through Death, accepting her lover, Agatha has found herself at a new point within her existence. One that allows light in, one where her closed off heart is no longer hidden under the weight, vines, and scarring of the loss of her son (and I would argue the trauma of her struggle to accept and feel comfortable in her love of Rio). 

The costuming change between her witch’s outfit and her ghost outfit also has a shift in the overall patterning of the upper portion of the design. As a spirit, the bodice now has an intricate line pattern, which could be argued to be reminiscent of Rio’s branching patterns.

Agatha and Rio's looks side by side

Daniel Selon noted on his Instagram the ghost design for Agatha that the costume’s letting in of light was her letting go of the weight of those she had taken the lives of over the years, I think too it more importantly could indicate the potential for her to begin to actually emotionally connect again with her heart no longer hidden. And if we look to the fact she both pointed out that she did not kiss Rio for Billy’s sake (further pushed by Jac Schaffer in an interview), and the fact she noted it was not Billy who released her from the hex (he merely loosened the lid), on top of her understanding that “sometimes… boys die”—this all could allow for her and Rio to reunite in the future on better footing. 

This of course hinges on the fact Agatha does begin to do some of the emotional work on herself that she has been avoiding, by helping Billy and giving herself the thing she felt she lost when she lost Nicholas. But the possibility for her to do that work is now there. She took a step in no longer denying her own emotions through her kiss with Rio, and has the possibility to work through her grief more fully through Billy. 

It should also be noted again that by and large, Agatha is not a very communicative person when it comes to her emotions. This is even more so true when acknowledging her feelings around Nicholas and Rio. She only calls Rio by her name once throughout the show, and not even to her face. She never divulges the truth of what happened to Nicholas to Billy, despite the youth seeking that knowledge. So, it is important then for her to wear visual markers of both on her, even where she will not voice their story—she is wrapped up in them all the same, still. 

It will be interesting to see where these characters go from here, because it is doubtful this is the last of any of them. And either way, symbolically, I think there is a lot of positive potential, tucked away into the costuming and design choices. Thanks for reading my weird little ramble!  

[sometimesoliloquy]

hey it’s the “see you later” anon back again to say 1 more thing. june also says i don’t know you i don’t know anything about you and nick responds “my name is nick blaine and i’m from michigan” i think we’re aware that june learns something in season 6 about nick and spirals from that (or we’re assuming that’s what happens?) and i think it comes back to that moment in season 1. who is nick? and is who he says he is/who june knows him to be enough?

Hello again!

Yes, I agree it does seem like we are in for an immanent “who is Nick” reckoning. The show likes to do this periodically: the s1 “I don’t know anything about you” scene eventually playing into/escalating to the infamous s3 Swiss meeting: “I don’t think you know who Mr. Blaine is, or was. Our research indicates he’s not to be trusted”—Side note: I watched Casablanca last night and it’s well-documented that the name “Nick Blaine” (the writers choosing the last name of Blaine for the show that is, "Nick" is canon from the book of course), is a nod to the “Rick Blaine” of that movie but I never realized just how heavy the parallels are, including repeated references to a “shady”, mysterious past and a consistent thread of just how little the two love interests really know about each others’ lives (largely by design). Anyway I thought this was really interesting, I may do a longer post on it later, idk.

Anyway, I do think that Nick must have opened up to June a lot more after that s1 scene but clearly there’s still a lot of details she doesn’t know, either by design or just the fact of how little time they have together. And unfortunately the full question of why Mr. Blaine was “not to be trusted” has never been satisfactorily answered. The “resolution” we were given, insofar as June’s feelings anyway, seems to be that she decided it didn’t matter. That she chose to trust what she knew of him, based on his words and actions and her gut, rather than what she’s been told by strangers (and Serena). And she knows shit is complicated in Gilead, she certainly knows he’s no angel (as she says to Esther in s4: “Gilead makes it really hard to be good”).

Whatever it is June learns in the upcoming episode that causes her to spiral, or to doubt him, I think it will ultimately echo this same pattern, though in a bigger way and ultimately with a more distinct resolution. Whatever she learns about his past or present (if that is indeed the “shocking revelation”), I think she’ll eventually come back to the conclusion that the core of what she knows of Nick is true—that he’s a good man (who loves her) even if it is very complicated.

I do have to think that this time they’ll have to talk about it and have a real reckoning though. They didn’t exactly have that chance in s3/4 but they need to now. And I don’t think June would ever just toss Nick aside for good without letting him explain himself. I think if they are to really be together, to ever truly have a relationship grounded in the “real world”, with a potential future—not just the cumulative amalgamation of fleeting, stolen moments they’ve had so far, where the details and the past were shoved aside by necessity—they need to finally have it out, let it all come to a head and decide where they stand: what can and can’t be forgiven, and what’s most important to them. (@withallthingslove wrote about this really thoughtfully a few weeks back when the press kit came out, I think it's here in this this post). 

June has recently been having these crucial moments of clearing the the air with her loved ones, finally saying things that long needed to be said —first with Luke, then Moira, so maybe the biggest one yet is now on the horizon, with Nick. And we will see where they land.

[prettyboysdontlookatexplosions]

sorry to keep talking about this annoying show. but like. ok. so here's the thing, the thing that at this point is basically the entirety of my ongoing interest in severance. the thing is that in the gemma flashback episode, in my humble opinion, they don't actually do a very good job of selling mark/gemma as a deep and profound love story. in fact they do such a poor job of it that there's a part of me that feels like it simply must have been intentional. outside of their meet cute, the only glimpses we see of their relationship when it was happy are (1) generic wordless dead wife montage shit that could belong to any couple in the universe, and (2) a scene the actual point of which is mark failing to understand who gemma is as a person and gemma being like, "um, but it's fine" (the ant farm scene...). like the OOOONLY conversation they have as two people who know each other that is not related to the infertility thread that shapes the bulk of the flashbacks, the only exchange that is actually in any way specific to these two characters, is mark fucking up. textually, structurally, analyzing this as a viewer, reader, writer, whatever, i'm like, come on they had to have seen what they did there, right? it had to be on purpose. they thought about what to include and they included that and not any scenes of the two of them bonding over nerd shit or whatever. like.... right??? especially since in the darker scenes from their marriage, we, IMO, do not see two people in a healthy marriage going through a difficult time. we see two people basically like... suffering separately in the same house. for the most part, we don't see them looking after each other. we don't see them reaching for each other. we don't see them being comforting or being vulnerable, offering kindness or asking for support. we see gemma lying awake miserable in bed while mark angrily takes apart the crib. to me that does not say "what a profound and deep real adult love." to me that says "if lumon hadn't intervened these people were five years out from divorce, max."

however, it's really tough for me to assess how i think the show wants us to interpret this episode, because so many people on the internet very clearly have interpreted it as a portrait of what real lived-in adult love looks like to the extent that many of them are like "how could anyone care about the relationship between the two main characters of a TV show when there was an episode about his sad wife?" and i mean i do just think this is a widespread case of heterosexuality brain poisoning. but because heterosexuality brain poisoning is so widespread, that means that i also can't rule out that the show's creative team also had heterosexuality brain poisoning and did think they were selling us on a beautiful if tragic love story. i can imagine how heterosexuality brain poisoning would look at the ant farm scene and be like, it's so cute how he got her a present that she hated haha :) and be so preoccupied with the boygirl of it all that they would not stop to think, "but maybe if we're selling this grand romance we should include one (1) conversation indicating how compatible and well suited they were to each other and how deeply they understood each other, to balance this out." i can also imagine how heterosexuality brain poisoning would just look at the inherent tragedy of lady want baby and be like, well basically the definition of love is to suffer and not get divorced, and, again, not consider that if you want to show the strength of a relationship you should consider showing scenes of two people taking care of each other. the more i think about it the more it really gets hard to wrap my brain around the idea that this would all happen by accident. but i also feel like you can just never underestimate the power of heterosexuality brain poisoning, the same force that paired up the two canonically sluttiest characters in the magicians and then decided to give them a bunch of conflict centered around monogamous commitment, LMAO. (that last scene in particular does feel like it's supposed to speak to the idea of how much a person might regret the way everyday stresses make you less present in your relationship once the person they were less present with is gone. and then there's the fact that in the episode we also see gemma asking after mark repeatedly... easy for ME to read as reasonable given her situation even though her marriage sucked but again like ok why is this what you are showing us... what is it communicating when you could have chosen any number of things to display...)

anyway. the reason i can't let this go even though the show at this point has convinced me it is probably all gonna be pretty dumb in the end is that i actually love the idea of a guy moving heaven and earth to save his not dead wife who has been asking about him for two years and then the two of them discovering that actually they should probably get divorced. like how do you come to terms with the realization that you want to divorce the person whose loss completely psychologically decimated you and whose miraculous return upended the material reality of your life and you sure thought would fix all of your emotional problems? how do you come to terms with remembering that the husband that saved you from hell, that you thought about every day you were in there, was also kind of a shitty husband? like i find that actually an incredibly juicy concept. and thinking about reintegration, assuming that ever actually winds up fucking mattering like at all (it sure seems like it will in season 3... but it sure seemed like it would about 4 separate times in season 2 so i'm not counting any chickens yet), what does it do to a person who was in a very normal and increasingly unhappy and distant relationship to suddenly have access to a version of himself who experienced this genuinely life-altering radically invigorating love? a love that actually caused the two people in it to grow together and as people over time even though their time was so bizarre and abbreviated? unlike your love with your wife that mostly just made both of you really depressed? a version of yourself that found real and thrilling happiness in a context that looked absolutely nothing like the things you thought you wanted from life, which, btw, you mostly got and which failed to make you happy? like that's interesting.... to me.

and there's some intriguing resonances here wrt the concept of normativity vs. authenticity and the thing that actually got me to emotionally invest in this show in the first place, which is that a huge chunk of the thematic and emotional thrust of the first season came from the fact that it not only had this unexpected (to me) tender gay love story but that the fact of this unanticipated (to the characters) gay love story was like completely central to the core story being told about these people reconceptualizing themselves and their wants and needs and place in the world and belief about the "society" around them. i was really pleasantly surprised by the subtext (barely) of that plot but then s2 was so dumb in so many ways i forgot about it. and like i'm not saying "mark s/helly r is actually queering straight hegemony" (or... Am i... no i'm not. but it would be funny if i did). but there's the potential for a resonance, like i said, with the idea of love & desire as something that radically changes how you move through the world and see yourself. i mean that resonance is already there for mark s. and helly on their own lol. but it would be REALLY something i think to see that carry into reintegration (which... sidebar assuming reintegration ever does matter i think it will be totally fucking stupid if it plays out any way other than "much, much, much more of an existential mindfuck for mark scout than he is anticipating," whether or not that winds up getting into the gemma stuff. i would actually be very confident that this would be the case based on the petey scenes in s1 but again at this point my trust that the show is going to be "not stupid" is very low.) we have already seen outie dylan take heart from the fact that his innie is kind of a cool badass, but it would be so neat to watch mark scout come into that realization (1) viscerally rather than through a third party and (2) totally against his expectations and his will and his desire to get back to normal with his not dead wife. like that would be really interesting and fun for me. also it would be funny to see the "mark/gemma is the most beautiful love story i have ever seen on TV" crowd [separate from the "i just want gemma to be ok" crowd, whom i do not understand because she is a plot device tertiary character with no personality and it's simply not how i watch TV but whom i basically respect as valid] completely lose their minds about this. but mostly i think it would be a sexy story to tell. and again if i just focus very specifically on the things the show has communicated about mark's actual marriage (including that when he's rescuing gemma he says "we were - we had a life together," as though he can't bring himself to say "we were happy" because they fucking weren't) i would be like, well, maybe... but if i think about the show as a whole (stupid now) then i just don't even know where we're going with any of it so i will refrain from actual prognosticating.