#(which are much improved now)
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Here are some Season 2 Arcane GIF comparisons before and after I color and sharpen them! | Season 1 Comparison GIFs
#arcane#arcaneedit#gifmaking#reminder that if ur not a fan of the coloring and sharpening then i dont need to hear ur opinion so fuck off and make your own gifs :)#sooo yeah!!! just sharing this very old coloring comparison i use from time to time to make sure i follow a certain peg for my gifs#but i dont really follow it to the T of course#and now i will use the tags to rant/comment about my coloring process lmao#ok so.... arcane s2 is SOOOOO much brighter than s1 i am so so so thankful we have such bright scenes instead of all the dark ones in s1#because it makes my life so much easier#that being said my coloring isnt really perfect i still cant handle more complex tones like the mel gif......#i used to have a more stylized coloring wayyy back in s1 (esp when u look at my old gifs) but i kinda realized i had to change it#so i scrapped all my old psds and now coloredit EVERYTHING MANUALLY#hence why sometimes i gif the same scene but theyre colored different since i never use a preset PSD now#however it became way more tedious to make gifs... so yeah.... lmao#but in the end i like it more!!! i like that my new coloring just basically matches the show more but is just brighter and more saturated#unless ofc i dont like the tones of the original show i.e. the vi gif you see there where its super green gray???? idk i dont like it so#i recolored the entire thing#anyways thats really it coloring will always be something i continue to try to improve on but recently ive just been v busy so i just#speed color and edit everything and dont rlly take all adjustments into account so no more complex tones and#i just stick to basic things#oh right sharpening! so for sharpening i use a very basic setting: just 500 px and 0.4 radius which is what i use for almost everything#i also dont add noise bc the landscape photographer in me does NOT like it LMFAOOOOOOOOOO#but yeah thats really it for sharpening oh i also use 4k sources as much as possible bc it gives the best quality and if#i cant find any source i just upscale everything by myself then crop stuff again back to 540 px and imo it really just does look better#personal tag
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2024 art summary! it sure has been a year
#ever makes art#i bsky tweeted a bit but it feels weird talking there still so ill do my usual rambling into tags here :)c#i burned out super bad in the middle of this year for months where it felt like i couldnt draw anything good no matter how hard i tried#and the harder i tried the worst it felt - to the degree that i legitimately thought i wasnt going to be able to draw anything again#which sounds SO dramatic i know i know. but feelings arent always rational!!! and so many others things were going wrong at the same time#so it was strange putting together this year's art summary and realizing Huh. i did still have paintings to put in every space#that fear/anxiety spiral seems even sillier and more meaningless now that i have distance and proof of how irrational it was...#...but in reflection i'd like to think of it as proof that even when you feel at your worse it's worth it to keep trying...!!#after the Black Hole of Nothing i've been working every day on never ending doujin and xv anthology and orv sketchzine and merch#i can't say that i feel my artistic skills have like. improved or anything... but the passion i feel for the stories i read and#the stories i want to tell is still there!! and the happiness from getting to put form to those feelings large or small is worth it too#anyway......... lotta words to say tho i haven't posted much anymore and socmed is imploding and the world is dark#thank you very much for staying with me another year. i am - as ever - always grateful
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hi y’all, sorry for disappearing. sunrise on the reaping made me so depressed i couldn’t function
#but it’s fine now#i’m able to think about the book without having a mental breakdown so that’s an improvement#and i’ve already filmed the whole reading vlog which will be out this month#but i just couldn’t get myself to edit it because the thought of reliving the book was just….too much#but we’re doing better now!!#it’s fine!!!#i actually haven’t cried about it in 3 days 🙂↕️#sunrise on the reaping#sotr#the hunger games
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these are kinda old now but some art i did for @belphegorzine !!!
oooo you wanna check out the preorders so bad ooooo
#my art#obey me#obey me art#obey me belphegor#belphegor#zines#its a bit funny that recently i was like hmmm i dont know if im improving much lately....#and then i looked at these which are barely a year old if even that and im like huh!!! i could do so much better now#good job last year starr you did your best... ill take it from here
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redraw of my first ever hal fanart <3 i know a lot more about him now than i did then lol
#.png#dc#dc comics#hal jordan#green lantern#fanart#and this is still my favourite design for his suit#showed this to my little brother and even he said i’ve improved so yaaay#he also said ‘i like that in the new one it looks like he’s actually sitting on something’#which yk fair#i think the lighting is a definite improvement#and i much prefer the way i stylise faces now :3#i just did the same style of bg as the original though. still havent quite figured out how i like doing those#anyways i love her and i’m very proud of my art improvement yippeee
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beach day
#gwortney#total drama#total drama courtney#total drama gwen#hey guys i think this year was SO crazy for my art improvement#and literally it was in large part to literally me making tiktoks and following my own advice i give on there#which is like. do studies and use refs#and now i do a lot of studies and use refs#and voila#art is so much easier and btter#who would have thought#my art
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noah kahan's "anyway" // mt. joy's "highway queen" // ike dweck's "safe with me" // grace power's "fled into the night" // anne carson's euripides // vance joy's "mess is mine" // @rebeccabinch // neil hilborn // @tristamateer // pictures from various accounts on pinterest // also it turns out most of my google search results came straight from this webweave by @ilyiwantusbothtoeatwell but it was not at all my intention to plagiarize or copy
#on friendship#on love#on brokeness and flaws and love despite it all#and maybe on love because of it all#webweave#webweaving#webweaves#web weave#web weaving#web weaves#now onto the yapping tags ->#at first i had a collection of fiveish songs that i mean to just post on my story#but i kept thinking of more and more (can you tell that i adore this sentiment)#and i figured out how to edit images really quickly#all in all the total process took me about 40 minutes which is an improvement from my last big webweave#also this is low-key hilson and appledash to me#a year ago i made a post captioned “oh to love as musical characgters do. youre stinky. youre strange. youre offputting. and youre mine.”#which is really this#potentially another webweave(s) coming soon bc i had too much time on vacation and started drafting in my photo album#:3
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only the absolute realest of the real ones will have a clue what i’m talking about here but i just realized the ‘grian argues with the secret keeper’ comic is 100% the spiritual successor to that trolley problem comic i storyboarded back in december 2020 but never finished or posted
#TOPSY MIDNIGHT LORE DROP#YOU DONT UNDERSTAND I WAS JUST LOOKING THRU IT SOME OF THE POSES ARE EVEN THE SAME AND I DIDNT EVEN REALIZE#ohh i am so tempted to post that shitty storyboard art#my process is different enough now that i don’t really care if anyone sees the sketches#plus the never before released behind the scenes info that makes this whole thing 10x funnier#mumbling#also oh my God i like my art so much better now than my art back then#which is crazy bc i was happier with my art at the time than i am with my art now#the cycle of artistic improvement is a harsh mistress or whatever the saying is
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I have no other place to yap this to so I apologise in advance.
I find it interesting in Alhaitham and Kaveh’s voicelines they tend to talk about each other A LOT in a way of complaining. Such as in Alhaitham’s Good night voiceline where he says that he’d prefer that Kaveh wouldn’t be home at all because all the chaos and noise he makes in the dead of the night. Or in Kaveh’s Good Morning voiceline where he says that he hopes that you don't run into someone who ruins your day first thing in the morning.
I guess it’s what makes other people think that they despise each other’s company. Yet they’re always viewed as a pair and Alhaitham could’ve kicked Kaveh out of the house ages ago. But what’s your opinion on that?
Hiya! there's no need to apologise, this is a safe space for all haikaveh! When I tell you your ask is scratching my brain I mean ITCHING, I have so many thoughts about this part of their dynamic so thank you for enabling me <3 This turned out to be rather long, so I hope it’s helpful to you!
The contention in both Alhaitham and Kaveh’s character stories and voice lines seems to be to create intrigue about the two as individuals, and, in turn, their relationship.
Alhaitham’s ‘good night’ voice line instantly serves as a contradiction to his character. It’s interesting, and telling, that Alhaitham, who is essentially Kaveh’s landlord, and mentions this within his fourth character story, alludes to Kaveh by using ‘roommate’ rather than ‘tenant’. ‘Landlord’ evokes a position of authority over the tenant, whereas ‘roommate’ indicates an equality between two people sharing a house – since it’s Alhaitham who advocates for the term ‘roommate’, it’s telling that, as opposed to what Kaveh believes, Alhaitham wants to establish equality between them.
In terms of what Alhaitham says in this voice line, it explicitly raises a contradiction in the form of a question: if Alhaitham is truly bothered by his roommate’s antics, why doesn’t he simply evict Kaveh?
This is relevant as this question is also posed when we initially meet Kaveh within the Archon Quest, as Kaveh states he dislikes Alhaitham’s personality, to which Alhaitham responds by saying if he bothers Kaveh so much, Kaveh always has the option to move out of the house – to which Kaveh perceives as a threat, only to then dismiss this as Alhaitham ‘changing the subject’, which seems to mean that this ‘threat’ is taken as baseless. As this isn’t called back to, this seems to be the case.
There is no real threat of eviction, and regardless of their disputes, Alhaitham ultimately gives Kaveh no ultimatum to move out. In fact, as discussed here (page 27), as we are meeting Alhaitham and Kaveh for the first time, Alhaitham allowing Kaveh to live with him contradicts his established character of living a life free of inconvenience. This instantly creates intrigue around his and Kaveh’s dynamic – who is Kaveh to Alhaitham for this exception to be made to Alhaitham’s peaceful way of life?
(An additional note of interest is that Alhaitham’s solution to the noise problem seems to be more uncomfortable than calling on Kaveh and telling him to stop his work. Alhaitham says that he’d rather not wear his noise-cancelling earpieces to bed, implying that he does so when noise is a problem at night. However, there’s no mention of Kaveh being stubborn when confronting this issue, which is why he takes to wearing his ear pieces, or any mention of confrontation at all. From this voice-line, it seems that Alhaitham avoids interaction by opting for the least comfortable option, which can be a contradiction to his character. As this is a rather brief voice-line, it’s difficult to ascertain why, but I like the idea that Kaveh is productive at night, and Alhaitham prefers not to impose on Kaveh’s work process – but this is more a headcanon than evidenced interpretation.)
Returning back to the contradiction within this voice-line, at a surface glance, this does appear to be a general complaint about Kaveh, and this can be found in Alhaitham’s lines about Kaveh, and also when discussing Tighnari. Alhaitham refers to Kaveh as ‘overly sensitive’, and ‘constantly making a fuss’.
These can easily read solely as complaints, but when looking to the original CN translation, another interpretation can be found here. Alhaitham describes Kaveh as ‘caring’ or ‘tender’, which is exactly how Kaveh is described within the 3.6 special program (as per minimushiroom on twt), which can allude to how Kaveh is considerate to a fault, in that this serves as a detriment to himself.
This can be seen in Alhaitham’s other Kaveh-centred voice-line, in which he describes Kaveh buying keychains in order to provide meals for sick children, even though healthcare is free in Sumeru. Alhaitham clearly holds the view that this was a redundant action, as Kaveh, being in debt, most likely doesn’t have the money to spend on such investments that are, evidently, dubious.
As Alhaitham provides a rational view here, this contrasts with Kaveh’s act of generosity fuelled by emotion – which highlights the contention Alhaitham has with Kaveh, in that Kaveh places himself in dangerous situations for the sake of others. However, as this can be perceived as a solely derisive line, this essential context is lacking, and can be easily misconstrued. (I think the EN translation here also coincides with this narrative, as minimushiroom notes that the original CN has Alhaitham refer to Kaveh’s sensitivity in a positive way, rather than contemptuously, as the English can be interpreted as.)
Kaveh, similarly, can be seen to complain about Alhaitham in his own voice-lines. This can be seen in the 'Good Morning' voice-line you've mentioned, where Kaveh complains about having to see Alhaitham in the morning, which 'ruins' his day. Additionally, Kaveh's voice-lines discussing Alhaitham refer to Alhaitham as ‘infuriating’ and not wanting to give Alhaitham the satisfaction of thanking him, despite Alhaitham helping him out. However, there is more nuance in these voice-lines than Kaveh simply ‘disliking’ Alhaitham, as this dislike is never stated - rather that he and Alhaitham have a difficult relationship in comparison to the ‘close’ friendship of their past.
Kaveh describes their relationship being a ‘mixed bag’, of both negatives and positives, as well as establishing a thorough understanding of Alhaitham, where other people may misinterpret Alhaitham as they ‘don’t know him well enough’. Additionally, Kaveh notes that he knows that Alhaitham can present himself in a more ‘likeable’ manner, but that Alhaitham refuses to do so, which refers to Kaveh’s contention with Alhaitham discussed within his character stories. This, in turn, generates curiosity, as it appears that Kaveh holds an in-depth knowledge of Alhaitham that the player isn’t privy to.
Referring back to Alhaitham’s ‘Good Night’ voiceline, the question raised is, if Alhaitham has a problem with Kaveh, why doesn’t he just evict Kaveh? And the answer can be found by digging further into Alhaitham’s character stories. Looking to Alhaitham’s fourth character story, it states that he is aware of the dissatisfaction Kaveh may have with their living arrangement but that ‘it matters not to him’.
This means that he is aware that Kaveh may be unhappy with having to rely on someone else for a stable livelihood, something which his pride doesn’t naturally allow, but that this is also exacerbated due to their previous falling out and the current contentions Kaveh has with him.
At first, this can seem rather abrasive, which does fall in line with Alhaitham’s egoism as this doesn’t directly impact ‘the self’ (discussed further here), however, what immediately follows is Alhaitham’s belief that he and Kaveh are mirrors, in that his own perspective of the world will be enhanced - in the og CN, ‘completed’ -by Kaveh’s own world view.
The implication generated here with the explicit term ‘mirror’, is that, just as Alhaitham benefits from Kaveh, Kaveh, in turn, can benefit from Alhaitham. (As a side note, it is interesting then that the voice-lines in question can be seen to mirror each other – Kaveh mentions Alhaitham in ‘Good Morning’ whereas Alhaitham mentions Kaveh in ‘Good Night’.)
Returning back to Alhaitham’s character story, rather than merely reflecting each other philosophically speaking, I’d say that this also points to their respective progression as people, not just scholars.
To me, this is reminiscent of what Alhaitham says to Kaveh in A Parade of Providence – being ‘correct’, ultimately, doesn’t matter, as there is no ‘correct’ path in life, meaning that there is no ‘correct’ philosophy to shape and guide a person. Rather, Alhaitham asserts that, ultimately, their opposing philosophies are not the issue that exists between them.
The issue that does exist, then, can be surmised from Alhaitham’s actions during the event (discussed further here), in which he researches into Sachin to gauge his influence over Kaveh’s father journeying into the desert, with implicit hopes of providing closure for Kaveh, and potentially assuaging Kaveh’s guilt. This is a personal act with a personal motive; the underlying motive being concern, as opposed to an assertion of ‘correctness’.
In my opinion, I think Alhaitham’s actions during A Parade of Providence are a direct reference, and fulfilment, of Kaveh’s fifth character story. I’ve discussed here that the main reason for the ending of their friendship was them asserting the correctness of a philosophy over the other, and proposing one philosophy as the ‘solution’ to the other’s perceived flaws.
Here Alhaitham can be seen to use Kaveh’s past as the reason for his excessive altruism, implicitly referring to Kaveh’s guilt over being the supposed catalyst for his father’s demise. This final comment of Alhaitham’s appears to be the first time this has been mentioned between them, and it’s enough to be perceived as weaponisation – leading to Kaveh severing their friendship.
In A Parade of Providence, Alhaitham is shown to only have taken the role of commentator to research into Sachin, whose research we are told (by Kaveh), he has no explicit interest in, and it is heavily implied that the only reason he looked further into Sachin, was to prove to link between Sachin and Kaveh’s father. Alhaitham seems to want to absolve Kaveh of this past guilt in hopes that Kaveh will stop placing himself in the cycle of self-sabotage.
For me, when viewing this as a parallel, it highlights that Alhaitham’s motivation in speaking out during their days as students was out of concern for Kaveh, although while holding egoism as ultimately beneficial, and therefore perceivably ‘correct’. The ‘issue’ they’re currently debating is not expressly stated, and although it is unclear if Kaveh understands the implication (as discussed here), as ‘correctness’ has been overturned, there seems to be little left than the personal.
Relating this back to Alhaitham’s fourth character story, for me, Alhaitham referring to Kaveh as a mirror isn’t just referring to Kaveh as a scholar, but a person as a whole. As Alhaitham seeks to improve himself, personally, through Kaveh, it seems that he hopes to be able to benefit Kaveh in turn.
As for Kaveh’s complaints regarding Alhaitham, these can be contextualised within his own character stories. As Kaveh ultimately severed the friendship between him and Alhaitham, Alhaitham offering Kaveh to live with him, despite Kaveh revoking his previous understanding of Alhaitham (as discussed here, page 67), causes Kaveh to be overtly suspicious.
In Kaveh’s Old Sketchbook, it is mentioned that Kaveh believes there to be an ulterior motive for Alhaitham inviting him to share a house, as he believes that Alhaitham wouldn’t do something for someone else without an exchange.
Kaveh, then, openly distrusts Alhaitham due to this unspoken motive, and although he takes on chores to ease his sense of guilt of being a perceived burden, a contention arises here. Due to their previously ended friendship, and with how Alhaitham hurt Kaveh, and how Kaveh may believe he hurt Alhaitham (discussed here), Kaveh sees no reason for Alhaitham to want him around – he treats their relationship as an exchange, asking what Alhaitham could possibly want for him.
Although Alhaitham views Kaveh as a mirror, and therefore, respects Kaveh’s perspectives, Kaveh can potentially view their opposing philosophies as a negative rather than a positive as he had done in the past (as discussed here), as it, perceivably, was what led to the end of their friendship. In this, Kaveh views Alhaitham as disparaging him and his views. As mentioned in his character story, he has no reservations in telling Alhaitham of his debt as Alhaitham has already seen through him in the past, and yet again, upon meeting at the tavern.
Although Alhaitham perceivably views him unfavourably, and his comments and complaints appear to propagate this interpretation, Alhaitham also seems to have no issue with keeping Kaveh around, and interacting with Kaveh, regardless of the problems Kaveh expressly has with him.
To Kaveh, it could be that as Alhaitham has already seen the worst of him, and appears to have no real issue with their stilted rapport, there is no point in donning a front and using niceties. He is open with his issues with Alhaitham, and, in turn, Alhaitham is open with him.
This appears to be a dual negative and positive for Kaveh, as he describes Alhaitham’s constancy as ‘the most unshakable part of one's past is a friend that will never change’. In this sense, his unsteady rapport with Alhaitham is reliable, and therefore, has no reason to change.
Clearly, there is a large disconnect between Alhaitham’s view of Kaveh and how Kaveh perceives Alhaitham’s view of him. As previously mentioned in the discussion of A Parade of Providence, there is an unspoken ‘issue’ between them, and this can be interpreted as dire misconceptions borne from miscommunication.
As discussed, Kaveh and Alhaitham reference each other a lot in their respective voice-lines and their character stories. This alone is enough to connect them, regardless of the cruciality of their mirror motif, as they are key figures of each other’s past, present, and seemingly, future. Despite this, it’s as you say, there’s a common perception to view them as mutually disliking each other, and, to me, this is based upon their first initial interaction, and the way they refer to each other in their own character stories and voice-lines.
It’s notable that Alhaitham refers to Kaveh in his voice-lines when Kaveh is not explicitly relevant, such as in his Good Night voice-line, and, most interestingly, when Alhaitham discusses Tighnari.
This could be because Alhaitham knows of Tighnari through Kaveh, but as this connection isn’t stated, it reads as Alhaitham mentioning Kaveh for no other reason than to complain about his perceived naivety regarding relations with others. But as this is a voice-line designated to discussing Tighnari, it’s interesting, and incredibly noticeable, that Alhaitham then discusses Kaveh instead. It’s similar to what Kaveh can be seen to do, and is observed to do by others, in relation to discussing Alhaitham.
When it comes to Kaveh, however, his complaining of Alhaitham can be seen to link with his process of dealing with troubles in his work. In his Hangout, he states that he takes his work to heart because he cares about it, which is expressed in the same quest in which Kaveh and the Traveller run into Alhaitham in the House of Daena (discussed further here, page 219).
Drawing a parallel here can further contextualise Kaveh’s complaining of Alhaitham – if Kaveh truly disliked Alhaitham, there seems to be no reason for Alhaitham to remain so relevant to him, both in conversation, and in private thought. Additionally, Kaveh is described as an empathetic person, and when dealing with others, he is thusly seen to look for another perspective rather than act on his own subjective perspective.
Looking at his voice-line on Dori, for example, expresses his distaste for Dori pressuring him for Mora due to his debt, however, he also empathises with her, and states that he senses there must be a reason why Dori acts in such a way.
In contrast, this empathy can be perceived as missing in his treatment of Alhaitham, and therefore Kaveh complaining about Alhaitham can be perceived as blatant dislike – which contradicts Kaveh’s benevolence and empathy, which A Parade of Providence particularly stresses.
Kaveh’s treatment of Alhaitham can be seen as deliberately contradictory, as it can cause the player to question why Kaveh reacts in such a singular way to Alhaitham, just as why Alhaitham reacts in a singular way to Kaveh.
In reference to Alhaitham, whilst Alhaitham tends to complain about Kaveh in turn, his actions reveal him. He invites Kaveh to live with him, gives no eviction date, pays for Kaveh’s tabs willingly, (supposedly) buys wine as an apology, and goes out of his way to ensure dialogue with Kaveh – which contradicts his own character stories, in which he appears to favour solitude, and only greets those he considers his friends ‘with a nod or two’.
Moreover, Alhaitham is established as considering Kaveh a necessity to his ‘peaceful life’ he seeks to maintain (as discussed here), and can be seen to implicitly consider Kaveh one of his priorities within his Story Quest.
The idea that Alhaitham dislikes Kaveh seems to stem from Alhaitham being taken literally when voicing an opinion, or an issue, or simply joking, in reference to Kaveh – despite his character stories highlighting that Alhaitham often uses sarcasm in order to subvert expectations.
Alhaitham expressly states that he prefers to be seen as inscrutable, and unknown, by the general public, and uses subversion as a means to do so. In these character stories, Alhaitham openly encourages speculation of his own words.
Without this context, it seems easy to simplify Alhaitham to purely speaking factually when first addressing Kaveh in the Archon Quest – stating that having to explain things to Kaveh is ‘a nuisance’, and yet, it is overlooked that Alhaitham stays in the House of Daena, regardless, knowing Kaveh would find him again.
On the whole, in my opinion, Kaveh’s feelings towards Alhaitham cannot be simplified to ‘dislike’ as this is dually an inherent misunderstanding of his character, and of his and Alhaitham’s relationship, just as Alhaitham’s feelings towards Kaveh cannot be simplified to ‘dislike’ for this same reason.
In the beginning, Alhaitham and Kaveh are not supposed to be perceived as friendly, as Kaveh denies the association of ‘friends’, and Paimon describes them to the Traveller as ‘problematic’.
The reason for this is due to their character arcs being intertwined – the core issue is posed in Kaveh’s fifth character story, in that the question is raised if a compromise can be reached, if both sides of the mirror, can be balanced. At the beginning, they are entirely at odds, but even footing must be found.

I’ve noticed a shift in online discourse after Cyno’s second story quest, as the progression in Alhaitham and Kaveh’s relationship is noticeable – deliberately, due to the flashback scene within their house (which I’ve discussed in detail here, page 122). To me, it’s more common to form the assumption that Alhaitham and Kaveh dislike each other in the Archon Quest, but with recent developments, and, hopefully, future ones, this perception is being overturned in online communities. Perhaps that’s just wishful thinking, but I’m still hopeful!
#haikaveh#kavetham#alhaitham#kaveh#genshin impact#thank you so much for your ask anon! it really ate away at my brain#haikaveh's writing is just so !?!?!? theres so many layers to peel back so a surface read of their relationship can be misconstrued as toxi#but ultimately i think these voice lines and details of their character stories are for people to question WHY they are Like That with#each other and it's one of the things i love about them that nothing is upfront or simple it really suits their themes so well#alhaitham constantly questions the world around him and flips language on its head and kaveh challenges the world with his ideals but works#with rigid principles of design and construction and he can't tell sarcasm from genuine praise which also adds to why he takes alhaitham's#words so personally... but this is improving now?? i am saying thank you cyno's second story quest <333#also the narrative that haikaveh can't stand each other seems to be more of a western thing from what i've seen online#and i think this is possibly due to the EN translation where the CN is less derisive or abrasive?#thank you to those who translate so the nuance is pointed out! <3
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It's kinda funny looking back on old screenshots and edits I made 3-5 years ago because in a way they have changed a LOT yet at the same time also not all although the fact that my old computer could barely handle having FFXIV installed is kinda evident in hindsight lol
#ive played for 11 years now but its only as of july last year that i actually have a computer i can go nuts on#with editing and good graphics etc which is probably why ive felt such a stark jump in my abilities#like its MUCH easier to edit by hand when your pc doesnt freeze up and making the screen black out anytime you draw a stroke too long LOL#its kinda funny looking back though because i still rely on things i learned way before gpose was added to the game#to the point where i often forget there are new fancy tools i can use to help the process#and thats despite having used the crimetools for way longer than i havent at this point#same with gpose..... god. that shit was added january 2017 i think. so thats 3 years of learning when to pause at the right time#and using walls to angle the camera and to try and time weather and multiple tries in case skill effects looked off etc etc#honestly since i cant do much photography these days whether that be of people or of bjds gpose is like a balm to my soul#anyway im rambling LMFAO just a lot of nostalgia when looking back. ill have to hunt down some REALLY old screens at some point#just to compare with my newer ones!!! kind of insane to think about this as a skill one can improve on#especially now that suddenly its been like a decade almost of consistently doing it and yet i never stopped to truly think about it#as anything other than a thing you just do???? idk. i have a disconnect to myself and art as a concept i guess LMAO#art is what OTHER people do in my brain. *I* just fuck around to try things out for fun#anyway....#silvi talks
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Did some Cass sketches... most of it is really bad (which is okay, I tell myself for the hundredth time), but here are least-bad bits and bobs
#my art#cassandra tangled#I need an art class just that's 'how not to hate your art and want to quit every other day'#cause I've been trying to improve my art for over 17 years now and I'm just an idiot (artistically speaking)#which is fair because I have ZERO visual capacity in my brain#my dreams haver ZERO images#I am partially blind#my hand shakes#I know it's okay to be bad at art#but I hate it sooooo much#because it's the one thing I still have hope of finding joy and it's bad and I'm so sad right now because I just want to be good at it#I'm so tired of hating everything I make#I don't even care about getting better I just want to learn how not to hate it
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1 decade of Flight Rising
As of the time of posting, my account is exactly 10 years old...
#I'm sorry I haven't interacted directly with people much over this time span - I'm introverted and burn out easily and-#- have had several periods of intense stress over the past decade which leads me to prefer to just switching brain off and chilling out#I am getting to a more stable position now so am hoping to improve on it but it yo-yos a lot e.g. -#- I was burned out for all of February and most of March because I put in more hours (IT'S NOT EVEN A LOT OF WORK HOURS!!)#I also very likely have undiagnosed inattentive ADHD and am constantly on a rollercoaster managing myself#ANYWAY 🎺 🥳 I have an artwork of my progens planned that I wanted to have finished by today#but I just do not have the energy to have rushed it over the last few weeks#it can come later!! it's a HUGE piece and I won't be satisfied without a tonne of work so rushing it would be bad#no Ilwelintar still does not have new genes I keep changing my mind on what to give him lol#flight rising#lokenosse talks#flightrising
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😶
#random personal stuff#personal whining ahead feel free to ignore#kind of struggling right now (what else is new)#I was up past three last night having A Crisis#I'm burned out and I know why I'm burned out#but there's no good solution#and on top of that there's some shame and the ever-present need to Restrain just how awful I am#(ha! this time I will have proof for my counselor that I am in fact the worst and I'm not just making that up)#there aren't any viable other life options & who knows if I wouldn't just be exchanging one struggle for another (worse?) one if I tried#the current situation is stagnant and sucking out my soul#people keep telling me to do A Thing for it to improve but it costs money and energy that the current situation isn't leaving me much of#and I don't even know if The Thing is really what I want anyway even if I could do it#I went into this with such ridiculous starry-eyed ideas of helping people but for a long time now everything has seemed meaningless#the same mindless repetitious tasks forever until I die#stuck behind the same desk and not mattering at all#but it's the only thing I can do and I don't know what I would want to do if I had the choice#maybe not work around people again ever which would be better for humanity in general#anyway I want to ask for prayer but I don't know how/what to ask about?
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Anyone remember the series of stain glass-esque style drawings from August/September? Well, I finally finished up making digital versions of each one, and here they all are!
(And like with the last couple of times, here's the links to all the previous stain glass versions)
(Kido-Kano-Seto)
(Ayano-Momo-Mary)
(Takane-Shintaro-Haruka)
(Hibiya-Hiyori-Konoha)
#kagerou project#kagepro#ayano tateyama#kido tsubomi#seto kousuke#kano shuuya#mary kozakura#marry kozakura#momo kisaragi#ene#ene kagepro#takane enomoto#shintaro kisaragi#hibiya amamiya#konoha kagepro#hiyori asahina#haruka kokonose#choco art#I feel like they came out a lot better digitally than physically - but that could just be the fact that I was able to use circle tools and#ine tools and such whereas physically I didn't have that much#Like - I was able to improve Takane's SO MUCH with the use of the line tool; duplicating layers; then moving them and aligning them perfect#y. sure the hexes still look a little long but they're CONSISTENT now#which is awesome#And yeah - i consider the colors on this version of Kido's a vast improvement over the old ones because I seriously could've planned that b#tter#Imma shut up now because I'm not sure I can say much that I didn't already tag-ramble about in the previous posts
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Atom and Thap bring a certain neurodiversity swag to the function...
My Love Mix-Up Thailand
#gem4th#gemfot#my love mix up th#mlmu th#fourth nattawat#gemini norawit#msp#my school president#Fourth's move in the 4th gif will live rent free in my mind#as a dancer I can say it's actually just really embodied movement that a lot of people can't do#i also wish both of them just got to explore and play with their characters in the series as much as they did in this one scene#i had literally been having the thought last week about how stiff and rehearsed so much of the series seemed forced to be#especially in comparison with the improv they were clearly allowed to do in MSP and Moonlight Chicken#and yesterday i read someone's review of the MSP episode of Our Skyy where they discuss 4th's full-body style of acting#which i wholly agree with and have written about (but it got eaten so maybe i'll have to redo it at some point now)#anyway enjoy the gifs everyone#atom x kongthap
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OH I’m not sure if there’s limits on search tags for your blog but I’m surprised that coming undone wasn’t on there, that fic is like an infant in a cradle and I am the six year old rocking them for an hour in sheer fascination. I like the part where Donnie is squished like a bug for 37k words
youre the only person here that really talks to me about it unless i bring it up (rip cu i love you too much for this!!!) and i dont thiiiink i manually organized the featured tags? so it didnt automatically show up because i dont talk about it enough. i might be forgetting though
definitely something i'll do in a bit, probably tomorrow. coming undone beloved 🙏🙏🙏
#ask#coming undone#i think my style of writing has really improved since in some places#i notice some issues with the tense. i switch in some places#which isnt usually something i struggle with now unless the line of thinking would be more coherent in present#which is me intentionally breaking the rules so i see it as different#i might actually go through cu and fix that at some point because it bothers me and its an easy fix lolol#but overall i think i really hit my stride with ch2 of it ... i remember REALLY liking how it came out#and ngl getting to reread it from a more detached perspective now that its been a bit#its very cozy despite the kind of heavy situation#i love cathartic hurt/comfort i need to make morreeee (ignores that most of cw was that)#and im happy to see that my writing has tangibly improved in little ways now that ive been doing it consistently#its harder to track improvement with writing in contrast to visual art#im excited to see where i go from here. i cant resist the urge to constantly outdo myself#anyways you guys should talk to me about cu more .... i like it :)#its not as tightly packed with parallels and symbolism and emotional chekhovs guns(? best way i can put it honestly) as CL is#but i still really like the way i explored donnie's character there#cu donnie was still kind of gutted for all he was worth but still cc donnie WISHES that could be him LMFAOOOO#he got it so much easier honestly
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