#**Awkward Situations:** Sometimes
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easydiskdonthack · 1 year ago
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lol
#lol#parallel park much?#same here.#Haha#“lol” indeed! It truly is the chameleon of online communication#its meaning shifting with context faster than a cat chasing a laser pointer. [Image of Cat chasing a laser pointer]#Here's a breakdown of “lol” in all its glory:#**Genuine Laughter:** When something strikes your funny bone like a perfectly timed pie in the face#a simple “lol” can say it all. Just picture this classic: [Image of Homer Simpson laughing]#**Awkward Situations:** Sometimes#“lol” is the social equivalent of a well-placed emoji#easing the sting of a blunder or brushing off a cringe moment. Accidentally replied “Me too” to your ex's vacation pics? A swift “lol whoop#**Sarcasm or Irony:** Oh#the delightful sting of sarcastic “lol.” It's like dipping sarcasm in glitter and throwing it at someone with a wink. Imagine your friend b#and you hit them back with a casual Queen Elizabeth would be proud.#**Agreement or Understanding:** In the fast-paced world of online chats#“lol” can be a quick thumbs-up#letting someone know you're on the same page. Like#your bestie posts a meme about the struggles of adulting#and you reply with a knowing Solidarity achieved!#**Filler Word:** And then there's the “lol” that's just... there. Like an “um” or “uh” in real life#it fills the gaps in conversation#giving you a moment to gather your thoughts or simply acknowledge what the other person said. Think of it as the verbal equivalent of a hea#Ultimately#the beauty of “lol” lies in its versatility. It's a one-stop shop for expressing amusement#awkwardness#sass#agreement#and even… well
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ajastu · 2 months ago
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I'd like to think this was the incident that kicked off Cullen's character growth (lets disregard the fact that any normal person would make that face upon hearing that line, mage or not)
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ishgard · 2 months ago
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Oh, that's going to take some getting used to... And she's not happy about it.
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sweepingboy · 4 months ago
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mu qing and his mom were abused by his father and he remembers this feeling of helplessness and the hatred he had for the man.
he robbed, he killed, he mangled his mother when she hit a corner after a particularly hard push and started losing her sight. he sent mu qing, who threw himself at him with all of his rage and small hands bawled in fists flying into the wall and kept beating him up until he's gotten tired and went to sleep. then they would as usual move silently in the dark patching up each other's wounds, whispering comforting words.
so each time feng xin compares him to this monster it's more than just being born in the slums. it's the cruelty and brutality of the man that makes him shudder.
"apologize" he screams as they fight.
"never! you're just as rotten as your fucking father!"
it's until they both are stuck in mu qing's nightmare a mix of pained screams and muffled cries, atmosphere of terror, whispers of "there, there, you will be okay, qing-er".
it's until feng xin sees his long term rival as his younger scrawny self covered in blood and bruises staring at the drunk man with a fire of hatred and turning to face him notices the same betrayed eyes of a child wronged my the very person who was supposed to protect him.
(feng xin thinks he can't apologize enough for that he feels he should try anyway)
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satoblue · 2 months ago
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speaking of time travel . . . how about a forbidden fruit au where your future child is transported to the past before you and satoru ever get together and you’re still madly crushing on him. . .
#— the honored one#forbidden fruit.#<- not canon in that verse#oh the chaos#i imagine it’s your eldest daughter who looks most like you but her eyes are closest to satoru’s who gets transported back#honestly it takes you aback when you see her eyes#they aren’t exactly identical bc satoru’s eyes are the way they are bc of his six eyes but it’s still uncanny#there is no other resemblance to satoru in her but the eyes so it’s not a definite answer and honestly#your daughter is so shocked when she meets you#bc you’re almost nothing like the mom she knows in the future#she also slips up sometimes by almost calling you mom in front of other people#especially satoru who doesn’t even know#it’s wishful thinking but it’s also insane that you really really hope it’s satoru’s kid you have#she mentions she has three other siblings and the thought makes you BLUSH#that he (you hope it is satoru) got you pregnant like so many times#tw children#tw pregnancy#your daughter finds your interactions with her dad to be hilarious#bc you’re super awkward and flustered and mean to him and he just laughs it off#but her dad in the future is definitely afraid of you and listens to you immediately whenever you’re mad#future you is practically the master of the house#it’s weird to see her mom so… not in control of the situation?#her dad loves to tease her mom still in the future but it’s not the same and it’s so odd seeing them so young#and watching their love story happen before her eyes
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tategaminu · 2 months ago
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I have two best friends in real life and the three of used to be very close. However as home and studies moved we grew apart. It doesn't seem the two talk to each other much and I barely talk to them. We live 15 minutes apart yet I will be lucky if we see each other once a month. They don't really tell me about their stuff anymore (the grandpa of one of them died months ago and I found out the other day)‚ we don't hang out on birthdays or special ocasions‚ I feel like I'm bothering them if I talk first.
They want me in my life if after years we are still friends but it doesn't feel like I have someone close to share my interests with anymore. They both have their boyfriends and I'm happy they got a close partner but it's sad to see you aren't as important to someone as you used to be. I don't think calling them my best friends feels right anymore. Closest friends maybe.
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mulders-too-large-shirt · 1 year ago
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s2 episode 7 "3" thoughts
hmm. hmm. that is the sound if me pondering what i just watched.
(i understand that this episode was an analysis into mulder's self-destructive behaviors when faced with overwhelming grief, but. that does not mean i enjoyed vampire hookup time)
well. we shall start from the top!
i read that it was an episode about vampires which i thought was a weird narrative choice because. hello. scully still gone??? but then i remembered that i too ignored the main quest in skyrim to hunt some vampires and that i had no place to judge
(granted, my main quest wasn't finding scully though. might have given that a bit more priority than saving the whole world. because she IS my whole world)
we open with a guy that looks like joe biden meeting with an attractive young woman. they're making out in a hot tub and we just know someone is gonna get slurped upon. and woe, it be upon us! double vampire attack.
back in DC, mulder gets his old office back! it's covered in plastic. he takes some of it off. he adjusts his calendar from may to november, so we see how much time he and scully had been assigned to other tasks, which also has me wondering how she managed to get a new house that quick.
(also, this calendar is... scantily clad women posing next to tools such as hammers and saws. was this allowed? was this acceptable? was it normal? were the 90's a lawless wasteland and mulder an irreparable freak?)
well. scully is an x file now, and he puts her glasses and id into an evidence bag and closes the filing cabinet which was sooooo evil. but he can't bring himself to put her necklace away. oh man. oh he's gotta have it in case he finds her. he has to hold her close. i'm Fine this is Fine.
so. he goes out to california to deal with the joe biden looking fellow being murdered. and he is not wanted on the crime scene. we know this because someone greets him by saying "nobody called the bureau" and he says "well, they should have" and lifts up the tape to let himself in. because one thing about him is that he's gonna let himself into a place he isn't wanted.
he sees the writing of a bible verse in blood on the wall and says something about their grasp of biblical knowledge being "feeble and literal" and i was like okayyy need to have a theological discussion with him
he then scares the other guy who originally wanted to kick him out by reciting a LARGE amount of facts related to similar cases and it's very much giving photographic memory. got me thinking, have we ever seen this man forget something? (directions don't count. they're confusing. but everything else sticks in that man's brain)
he just needs one thing: a phone book. which he uses to call a blood bank and ask about a new guy. who must be the vampire who did this!
so he rolls up to the blood bank and i'm over here struggling because i do Not Do Blood, and i knew at this point this was gonna be a tough watch, but i didn't anticipate the non-blood related reasons why this would be true
anyway he's sniffing around the blood bank and he hears some slurping and wouldn't you know, this dude is tearing into a bag of the red stuff like it's a capri sun. somehow he gets him into custody, where the dude refuses to talk because the lights are on, and mulder comes in with a lamp he put a red filter over, because he was prepared for vampire interrogation.
the vampire is going on about how what he did isn't murder because it's not like animals hunting prey is murder which is. not the greatest approach in terms of legal defense. mulder tells the guard that the guy is delusional and it's best to play along, and he believed this to be true... until he, quite literally, burned to a crisp in the sunlight. and died.
he's talking to the coroner and rattling off a bunch of vampire facts and says he didn't believe in vampires which is so funny to me because like. why is that where you draw the line, my friend. not at bigfoot and definitely not at aliens. but man. vampires are just too out there for spooky mulder. until now!
the coroner has a very funny line: "you are really upsetting me... on several levels" which seems to be the general effect fox mulder has on people. and also because i felt the same way about his dumbass actions during this episode.
coroner finds a stamp on the dead body's hand, which seems to come from a nightclub. so naturally our fbi agent ends up there.
you often see posts saying that "(insert character here) should be at the club". i fear that this is not the case for fox mulder, but it's possible that it's his suit and tie that are throwing me off. he just doesn't seem like he belongs there. i ask myself, where should he be instead? perhaps some sort of star wars convention would suit him better. a book signing with some author he likes. idk, an interior decorating festival. not here.
i shall use my verbatim words to walk you through the next scene:
"pause. he's talking to a woman who was looking into a compact without a mirror. so. vampire suspect. and now why are they getting so close together. and getting a drink. okay now they're leaving to a new spot together? AFTER she admits to vampirism"
(here she did some stuff that required me to look away from my screen due to my Weak Constitution. but also it would have felt necessary to look away anyway because it was getting... charged)
she tries to get him to... suck on her finger... but he won't do it because aids. which is fair. i think that's a smart move, actually. it's just that getting flirty with a vampire he knows was involved with a ton of killings was such a stupid move, i don't know why it's now the braincells start to kick in.
that kills the vibe, though, so she gets another guy to take his place and things escalate.
mulder pulls in at a restaurant called ra. nice! the sun god! and he is... through a window, witnessing some more slurping action. he seems to want to intervene and save this poor soul being feasted upon...
but the poor soul is no poor soul at all! he comes out and decks mulder, and delivers this line with stunning conviction: "i don't know who you are, freak, but we're two consenting adults" and with this, he is forced to flee.
and yeah. it made me laugh. my expectations for the genre were subverted. he signed up for that shit! what he did not sign up for, however, was the next part, where he was killed by the other vampires.
cut to investigating the crime scene. mulder has brought along a forensic dentist, which is a job i had no idea you could go into. he needs to see about those bites, which are very human.
next they go to vampire woman's house. it's a very nice place. mulder... opens her oven. and sees a loaf of bread in there. and i'm thinking, man, i hope this doesn't go where i think it's going. baked goods... ovens... i never want a vampire pregnancy arc. but he cracks open the loaf and something red spills out and somehow, this to him means that she is gone and isn't coming back. he can read the signs of the bread. so add that to his resume. what did the bread tell you, my liege?
he seems to have stayed in her house, however, because he's there when she's back, and says he knows she was using the bread as a charm to ward off evil. because apparently that's an eastern european thing, blood bread to warn off evil. sound off if any eastern europeans in the chat wanna confirm or deny.
anyway. he's IN this woman he thinks is a vampire's HOUSE? what the hell. mulder seriously i need you to stop and think. like you should have stopped and done some thinking a while ago. honestly i'm not mad i'm just disappointed. and he's like "i want to save you come with me before they kill you" ohhh big tough man needs to save her huh. make him feel good inside. huh. certainly no ulterior motive here...
she's monologing about her horrible childhood and how sweet blood tastes. um girl. don't lie to him like that. i have busted my lip open before that stuff does NOT taste sweet and dangerous. it's like a penny with rust that you found in a parking lot.
it seems her vampiric origin story, if to be believed, is that things simply got too kinky. which is a new take on the genre.
(it's also about being caught in an abusive relationship and the damage that inflicts, but it seems abusive boyfriend came into vampirism at his kinky parties and things escalated from there. which. well. it blew the eyebrows clean off my head, to be fair)
at this point we see that he is WEARING SCULLY'S NECKLACE? he says something like "it's from someone i lost" and she says that she "hopes he finds her"
i did not like the undertones here and certainly not the overtones. because i knew where this was going. he was shaving in her bathroom. and let me tell you something: there is only ever a shaving scene in media because the writer needs a way to get some blood out of someone's body and into the real world. and man. i knew it was coming.
but what i didn't see coming was her SHAVING HIM??? girl. i am uncomfy. and she does, of course, cut him, and then they kiss. aggressively. terribly aggressively. can anyone answer what was going on in a satisfactory manner?
but the gag is: the original vampire- who burnt to a crisp in the jail cell, and was the abusive ex she spoke of- HE'S WATCHING THEM THROUGH THE WINDOW!
he breaks in and taunts the vampire woman about how he had to "wait for her to finish" and i was like cool. thank you SO much for that mental image i'm super happy with it. i definitely don't feel like i need a shower. but then he's going on about how he can't be killed.
here, at the tail end of the episode, we learn the rules of vampirism in this world: a vampire cannot be killed by a non-vampire. and a non-vampire BECOMES a vampire by consuming the blood of a believer and also taking a life. it is only here we realize that this woman is not an actual vampire yet, she just appropriates their culture by drinking blood unnecessarily.
mulder's still sleeping in her bed and she's like "you need to leave" and she stabs the wall to make her evil ex think she's killing him. but when they go to break out, mulder ties him up quite handily and he gets in the car to escape with vampire woman. until ANOTHER vampire woman jumps on the hood of their car. and main vampire woman knocks her out for a bit by running into her with said car, which is super effective.
mulder's leaving the place in shambles, his shirt still unbuttoned, wandering down the side of the hill. back at the house, now that we know the vampire rules, main vampire woman says she can finally kill the evil vampire ex. and he's like how!! you haven't had the blood of a believer or taken a life. so. she licks the blood off her hands (unclear if it's hers or mulders tbh) and says she'll take her own life. and drops a match after pouring gasoline.
so. that brings that to an end. and shabby looking mulder sits on a hill as he learns all four in the house died.
the episode ends with him playing with scully's necklace. which i don't even sort of feel like unpacking right now but maybe another time.
probably not, though, because i just didn't like this episode. and yeah, a lot of it comes down to me not wanting to see mulder hook up with people who aren't scully. can you blame me? is it so wrong to have preferences in this world?
but also, narrative wise- do you honestly see the guy fucking off to cali while scully's still missing to deal with an unrelated problem instead of devoting every hour of his life to finding her, like we saw him do in the last episode? you expect me to think he just puts it off for a lil while? the guy who, just last episode, pulled his gun on the ski lift operator to get to the top where she might be a little faster, and then choked his one and only suspect out of fury? you're thinking this is the guy that's gonna go soak up some west coast rays?
and yeah, he was obviously not himself through the episode- very cold and analytical- but c'mon. we all want to bang a vampire. he's not special. i just personally wouldn't do that if my friend were gone. like how is that gonna help the situation. be so for real. time and place!
and also the whole only learning the rules of being a vampire about 5 minutes before they need it to be plot relevant. that annoyed me too.
overall, mulder, like i said, i'm not mad, just disappointed.
let me know what you thought on this episode- i try to not be a hater, but i also understand that hating in small doses can be good for the soul. if it's a widely beloathed episode i'll feel better in my judgement as i join a long tradition of haters who have come before me.
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cat-shouty-13 · 2 months ago
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This is from a tgaa au I have where everything's basically the same but everyone is either some form of non-human being or possesses some form of magic (or both at once!)
Albert is a half sheep half human person, think Mr Tumnus from Narnia (his legs are sheep ones but not all half animals are like that) He's a sheep because, as much as I love all the rabbit and hare things you could do with him, I like his curly hair more and want him to have more of it. Also Barok being dramatic in his court return in 1-3 with all that talk of sacrificial lambs is perfect for Ryuu to make a joke about Albert being an actual sheep in 2-3
Barok is a vampire because I'm unoriginal and I draw him with pointy ears normally how could I not? There's maybe a bit of a twist with the fact that vampires are technically a sub-species of half animals, Barok being a bat type vampire specifically. He looks fully human normally (aside from the ears and the fangs and the turning to ash in direct sunlight) but can freely go into a humanoid bat form at will. Imagine a transformed werewolf but it's a bat instead :) wings for arms and everything
I could talk more about this but I shall stop for now :)
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some-red-herring · 2 months ago
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uwu
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angelpuns · 8 months ago
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Me looking at the super long definitely TMI diary-type vent post in my drafts: haha yeah you're gonna live there forever until I delete you <3
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milfbrainrot · 15 days ago
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ofc the only people i have met with a nearly identical set of obligations to me are antis because of the online brainrot component of having to be on the internet to socialize
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freezinglemur · 4 months ago
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Sorry Five I'm getting into a thing which means you're getting put into a situation related to said thing!
I love putting him in situations. I'm so sorry Five the horrors are probably kidnapping you again and you're going to get along with unconventional beings and not know why but roll with it anyway
@lieutenant-fred I am blaming you for getting me interested originally in this stuff I've been slowly looking into it (when I rember n have the time in between bugging the weapons lol) (playful)
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majorasnightmare · 7 months ago
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i know that technically the lack of party reactions to several of the act 2 Dark Urge Lore Reveals (and general lack of reactivity to non cutscene durge plot in general) is because of development constraints and budget and Releasing The Game On Time At Some Point, but PERSONALLY i just find it enjoyable and interesting to interpret it as addressable character flaws in them 💔
i love when characters are incidentally shit friends to people they care deeply about for very understandable reasons, and also i love when those seemingly small decisions explode into disproportionate consequences and maybe also have a body coubt
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biillys · 11 months ago
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uhhh yo i'm thinkin about. tommy and eddie not Getting each other but Dealing with each other becos of billy. but then somehow without even realising, they actually become pals too. hashtag billy's impact.
then ofc billy + eddie + tommy bestie-ism. becos i want it.
anyway. rewind becos we need to talk about billy + tommy and billy + eddie first before we slap tommy + eddie together
billy initially hating tommy when he first rolled into town, thinking he was kind of pathetic for how he was acting about harrington ditching him, and thinking he was just genuinely like. trying too fucking hard. trying to hard to be liked, to get attention, to get his fucking peers approval. billy already knew. high school didn't fucking matter. other kids approval and opinions didn't mean shit. everyone was fake as fuck. he just had to make it ‘til graduation, then he'd be fucking gone.
but then. he somehow ends up getting roped into joining tommy and his family for dinner one night, becos he's unable to say no to tommy's mom who asked him, and suddenly, he's seeing tommy in a whole new light.
he didn't know that tommy had a fucking baseball teams worth of siblings, and was the 3rd eldest. he watches as tommy cuts up his baby sisters dinner, pulling faces at his little brother next to her the entire time to make him laugh. listens as the entire table actually talks and interacts with each other, how his twin little sisters ask about when carol's coming over next, and how his mom cuts in and asks if carol's appointment went okay the other day and if she was feeling better. watches as him and his older brother clear the table without even being asked, their mom moving to start bath time for the kids under six. can't remember the last time he sat at a dinner table with an entire family and felt warm. like what dinner's look like they feel like in the movies.
after, when he's walking down the hallway to tommy's room, he sees all the pictures of him and harrington. they're all over the the wall, some not even having tommy in them, just steve and other members of the family cheesing at the camera from basically fucking diapers all the way up til last year. that's when he realises. tommy and steve weren't just school friends. steve was fucking family. and he left. over a fucking girl.
suddenly, billy gets it. he fucking Gets it. gets what it's like to have a family member walk out, with little to no explanation or reason, or for the worst fucking reason of all. to have everyone in the world expect you to just be fucking okay with it, like your entire world hasn't just changed, like you aren't eating dinner with one less plate setting now, like birthdays aren't suddenly forevermore gonna be one person short. he fucking gets it.
tommy looks embarrassed, though, when he catches billy eyeing the pictures, the red so obvious on his cheeks, and it feels like this is the first time billy's seen him without the act he puts on at school. billy just gives him a slight nod, then walks past the bathroom and flirts with his mom, feeling good about the way tommy groans behind him.
billy makes more of an effort after that, and tommy stops trying so hard.
maybe one night, after a slightly wild party at some cheerleader's house, him and tommy split to get some food from benny's, walking the whole way cos they're both not in any condition to drive, and tommy ends up spilling the details of what actually happened between him and steve. not just the shit that's been spreading around school, either. the real shit.
billy listens, still slightly drunk and definitely fucking high, and ends up vaguely mentioning his mom. he cuts himself off quickly though, cos even when he's wasted he knows not to expose himself like that. but tommy looks at him, and he nods, and he moves the conversation along.
they get close, after that.
they don't cling to each other at school, with tommy usually floating between anyone and everyone, carol leading the way, and billy only gracing the basketball table with his presence maybe once a week, the other days ditching to his car or hiding out under bleachers becos he’s sick and tired of people, but out of school, they're a bit more attached. 
tommy's mom loves billy, and apparently, so do his siblings. well–the younger ones do, at least. the teens and the two older two seem unfazed by him at best, and wary of him at worst. that's probably fair though, considering his reputation. 
it takes less than a month for billy to clock the fact that tommy doesn’t seem to “get” music. tommy says he considers it something you put on in the background while you do shit, just to have some noise, and billy pulls the car over immediately and gives him a wild look. he pulls out a mixed cd from the glovebox that has a decent chunk of his favourite songs, and when tommy says he's never heard a single one, billy loses his fucking mind for fifteen minutes straight before promising him that before the years out, tommy will understand music. 
tommy just agrees, having learnt early on that billy's gonna billy, and he's expressive and passionate about so fucking little, so seeing him get so worked up about something tommy considers so small is like. kind of fucking adorable. he sits there and listens as billy explains the difference between one band and the next and thinks–he's never actually heard billy sound so genuinely happy to be talking about something before, like his love for it is roots deep.
and then–there's eddie. 
he fucking hates billy on principal alone, at first. heard the talk and rumours about him from day one, his name even being whispered about by hellfire members, and instantly judged and stereotyped the fuck out of him. knows it's pretty pot, kettle–the whole hating each other becos stereotypes etc but like. no way this new california basketball guy isn't gonna tear eddie to shreds. there's no way.
so, he doesn't wait to see how billy treats him, just expects that he's gonna fuck with him the same way all the other assholes do, and writes him off as a waste of time, just like all the other jocks are.
gets the surprise of his life when billy not only acknowledges him publicly at a party, but also knows him by name and talks to him at school. usually, his crowd treats him like his social status is contagious, and keeps any interaction to a quick and private arrangement. except then he's walking down the corridor at school and his name is being yelled across the hall, and suddenly billy hargrove's standing in front of him, a kind of terrifying look on his face.
eddie rolls with it though, figures his buddies will catch him up to speed and explain the rules that keep things flowing around here, and billy'll never speak to him again.
that's not what happens, though. what happens is one of jason's dipshit besties throws an arm over billy's shoulder and laughs, calls eddie a freak like it's the funniest and most original insult to ever exist, and tells billy that they don't actually have to talk to him, that they can get anything they want from samson's older brother who's back from college.
billy shrugs the guy off, "you mean that shit that you were sharing around at patrick's last week? yeah, fuck that. at least munson's shit is good."
eddie watches the scene unfold with slight interest, but writes billy off again when he walks away with the crowd, having gotten the information he needed.
charges him double and a half when billy eventually tracks him down behind the school, and billy gives him a flat look but still hands over the money.
"that the standard price, or you just being a little bitch about it?"
"whatever you wanna tell yourself, short guy."
billy rolls his eyes, but takes the baggie eddie hands him and walks away, flipping him the bird over his shoulder as he goes.
eddie watches him leave and shakes his head. thinks, at least that'll be the last of it.
feels his eyes widen slightly the next week when billy rocks up again, money already in hand.
"price has actually went up this week, sorry man. must've forgot to send you the newsletter," eddie shrugs, walking straight past him and dumping his bag on the table.
"fuckin–seriously? you seriously pulling this shit?"
eddie gets his little tin lunch box out of his bag, not even sparing him a glance.
"supply and demand, gotta make a buck, you know how it is," eddie shrugs again and waits to hear billy's footsteps walk away. that doesn't happen. instead, he hears billy take a deep breath, mutter a fucksake under his breath, then hears his footsteps approach.
"well, how much is it this week, then?"
eddie looks at him over his shoulder, then turns around fully, a slow grin growing on his face. "how much you got?"
watches the flash of anger and frustration cross over billy's face before he seems to reign himself in.
"just–just give me my fucking shit, munson, i swear to god."
eddie just watches him and waits, letting him sweat a bit, before grinning at him, all teeth, then turns back around.
he grabs some things from his little stash then slaps three baggies in billy's hand.
billy clenches his fist around it, before taking another calming breath, then nods.
"how much?"
"same as last week."
billy gives him a look, and eddie snorts.
"supply and demand," he shrugs again, twirling his hair.
billy huffs, slapping the money down on the table.
eddie winks at him.
billy becomes a pretty regular customer after that, even though he looks at eddie like he thinks he’s batshit crazy most days. doesn't stop him from asking for his phone number though, complaining that sneaking notes in lockers is fucking corny. 
next thing eddie knows, billy’s rocking up at his trailer and banging on his door, inviting himself in. eddie would like to pretend to give more of a fuck, but honestly, billy isn't actually that bad. and uncle wayne fucking loves him for some reason.
billy clocks his guitar on his second visit, and sniffs out his fucking heart wide crush on chrissy cunningham on the fourth, and eddie never knows peace affer that. 
it’s a bright as fuck day when billy finally figures out a way to merge his two worlds and get both eddie and tommy into the same place at the same time, and it happens purely by his own intervention.
billy's driving tommy home when eddie’s van mysteriously breaks down, and he calls for a lift. billy eyes his glovebox, where he’s stashed a small but important part of eddies engine, and thinks hell fuckin’ yeah your van’s broke down.
he smirks into his phone as he listens to eddie stress, quickly checking on his passenger as he thinks about the way eddie’s face always screws up whenever he mentions him, and how tommy always looks downright uncomfortable every time he mentions spending time at munson’s trailer. 
but. here's the thing. he doesn't give a fuck. what he does give a fuck about is splitting his time between the two, like a fucking child of divorce, when he could simply just hang out with them both at once, them all chilling together. of course, that involes playing matchmaker. or just like. force them into getting stockholm syndrome about each other or some shit. but whatever. as long as something works. he’s not picky.
he flips his turn signal on and does a u-turn, shrugging when tommy asks where they’re going.
when he pulls up behind eddie’s van, tommy’s face does something complicated, and billy holds back a snort. he gives tommy one last sideway glance before climbing out and going to find eddie.
���what’s the damage?” he calls out, walking up to the front.
“fuck if i know, man. i look after her the best i can, but she’s old as shit and high maintenance, and i’m fucking broke,” eddie says from the front seat where he’s been waiting, looking at billy like maybe he’ll know the answer.
“just leave it. i’ll come back later and have a look. got a passenger though, so. we gotta go,” billy waves his hand dismissively before nodding his head towards his car.
“oh shit, little red’s here?” eddie asks, hopping out and walking alongside him.
billy snorts. “worse.”
eddie opens the back passenger door and ducks down to look before standing straight back up. 
“tell me you’re joking,” he says, sounding fucking pained.
billy laughs. “get in the fucking car, freak.”
it’s the most awkward and uncomfortable drive he’s had since he got his own car, and he spends most of the time trying to make fucking conversation with them both only for them to give him stilted and one word answers back.
“holy fuck,” billy breaks, pulling up in front of tommy’s house. he locks the car doors before anyone can split and turns in his seat. “what’s the big deal between you two? it can’t be that fucking bad. you’re both like–harmless. fucking bitchy, and definitely petty, and both fucking dramatic, but like. harmless. what’s the beef?”
tommy stays silent, making sure to look anywhere but them, while eddie leans forward to look between them. he looks from billy, to tommy, then back to billy.
“just–history,” eddie sighs, giving tommy a look.
billy stares blankly between them both. “history,” he deadpans back.
“well, we have went to school together for most of our lives, even been in most of the same classes in high school,” eddie reasons, sounding offended that billy’s not getting it.
“boo hoo, he stole your lunch money,” billy bitches back, giving eddie a bewildered look, “move past it. you’re like, 20, dude.”
eddie gives him an incredulous look right back, and billy shrugs, unlocking the car doors. tommy bolts.
“christ, man. you don’t get it,” eddie starts after he’s jumped in the front seat and they’ve started to drive away, “you haven't been at the bottom of the food chain.”
billy raises an eyebrow at him, ‘cause like fuck has he never been at the bottom of the food chain, and eddie fucking knows that. billy’s turned up at his trailer enough times now after a run in with his dad for eddie to have put the pieces together.
“that’s fucking different, don’t even try to compare,” eddie shoots back instantly, throwing his arms out.
“yeah, ‘cause one’s fucking high school bullshit, and one’s my fucking homelife. like, dude. come on, seriously? he bullied you? i fucking bully you.”
“yeah but you bully me because you want to fuck me, he bullied me for like–fucking everything. living in a trailer, hellfire club,” he starts listing, “my parents and all that bullshit–my fucking band–”
“yeah, and i tried to fuck your uncle last week,” billy cuts him off, sitting there and giving him a blank look. 
eddie looks scandalised before a smile starts to crack, a slight laugh coming out. “you are such a fucking asshole.”
billy laughs right back, making an illegal turn and flooring it, “fuck you, i’m your hottest fucking customer. now, let’s go fix your fucking van.”
“tommy ain’t that bad,” billy tries again as he puts eddies van back into working condition, pulling the piece he took out earlier from his jacket and putting it back in the engine, eddie none the wiser sitting in the driver's seat.
eddie raises his eyebrows at him when he pops up to look at him over the hood, “uh huh. sure. tommy hagen’s got a heart of gold.”
billy rolls his eyes then bends back over, fixing up the last few things before slamming the hood shut.
“seriously. he’s like, chill, once you get to know him. he pissed me off too when i first met him. then, i actually gave him the time of day, and now–” billy shrugs, wiping his hands and smearing some grease around, then walking around to eddie’s door.
“why the hell do you care so much–what? you want us to all share friendship bracelets? want us to jam together?” eddie questions, looking at billy through his rolled down window.
billy lets out a deep breath. “‘cause. we’re almost graduated, we’re basically fucking adults, and i don't want to spend my fucking summer having to divide my days going between you both because you guys can’t get over shit from middle school. we were all fuckin’ pricks when we were twelve. luckily, you two both grew out of it, but i sure as shit didn't. so, either learn to get along, or i’ll make you fucking get along.”
billy pulls out a pack of smokes, gets one out, gives eddie a salute, then lights up and walks away.
billy’s words bounce around in his head the following days, and when billy tells him to meet him at his car after school three days later and he rocks up to tommy and carol fucking perkins sitting in the back seat, eddie stops for a minute before standing tall, then throws himself into the front passenger seat.
billy smiles his most angelic smile at him, and when eddie turns around, tommy won’t meet his eye. carol smirks at him and pops her bubblegum. “‘sup, eddie.”
eddie didn't even know she knew his name. he lifts his hand in a weird little wave before turning back around and facing the road. “fuck you,” he mutters under his breath, sinking down in his seat.
billy laughs and drops his hand to rest on eddie’s knee, squeezing it. “we’re gonna have fun, baby,” he mumbles back.
after a few blocks, billy pulls up to benny’s diner and cuts the engine.
“you said ‘meet me at my car, it’s important’,” eddie deadpans, looking around the busy carpark in the peak of the after school rush, tommy and carol already getting out.
“yeah,” billy deadpans right back, eyes looking fucking gleeful, “after school milkshakes. most important part of the day.”
“you’re lactose intolerant,” eddie breathes out disbelievingly as they both reach for their car doors.
“i know,” billy grins, pushing his door open and stepping out, then turning around and leaning in, “now let’s go, hot stuff.”
and maybe one day i'll finish this. oops.
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tipytap · 11 months ago
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you ever just watch a tv show and there is a scene so overwhelmingly full of awkwardness and second hand embarrassment that you have to just,,, stop for a moment. like dude, come on. this is making me have to take my glasses off i couldnt possibly handle your lack of charisma in HD
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impulsivedecisionsat3am · 9 months ago
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almost everyone at my school is a fucking zionist you talk to someone and go "oh they seem cool" and then the minute you have a class together and you're given a project where you have to discuss a problem in your community and your teacher is a hijabi who has stated that this is not a project about politics, and it would be great is you could just choose something like "cheerleader" you decide to do your project on the state of israel and use fox news as your source and them every other person next to you is cheering you on what the fuck im gonna commit murder
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