#... like a decade ago

[mylo-space]

oh WHY is it always the funny haha shows that get me, why is it when i put on a show that's just supposed to be background noise it turns into something i MUST get invested in, fuck whatever i was working on i guess now i have to give my full undivided attention to the funky rainbow space marines. because why the fuck not. no and i'm totally normal about it, i'm perfectly capable of being Totally Normal about the Funny Haha Show, just don't ask me about Special Agent Washington or Church and Epsilon or Washington or Private Michael J Caboose or Agent Washington or-

[constantlyfalling]

I wrote a radioapple fic. It's rated G and technically for Valentine's Day. Charlie has everyone do a Valentine's Day activity together.

Beta @somevariationofgay

The human holiday of Valentine’s Day had been around for over a century in the Pride ring, and of course with the Vee’s controlling many pockets of sinner and hellborn alike throughout all of hell, the holiday had only become more of an overexuberant affair.

Alastor was not a fan.

The concept itself wasn’t enticing to begin with to him, but he didn’t hate the sentiment. Growing up, he and his ma had exchanged cards. As soon as he was able to read, she would include a riddle in every card she gave him, no matter the holiday. The Valentine’s day cards riddle would always have an answer related to the concept of love. Which he had felt, for his Ma and a handful of precious others.

Though he had never felt it like, that. The way most of the hell liked to celebrate it. Which brought Alastor back from his thoughts and to the unfortunate reality unfolding in front of him.

Angel Dust had walked into the room after getting off a shift, letting out a string of profanity as he did. It was actually surprising to see him have the evening off work, given what day it was. He vaguely remembers Charlie’s monologue earlier referencing that the spider demon had been there since the 13th. There had been a midnight countdown show on the noise box, celebrating what the Vee’s had also dubbed as that moth’s birthday.

Husk hands Angel a drink on his way to Alastor, handing him one as well as he sitting on Alastor’s. Alastor didn’t drink often but felt like he was going to need it for this bonding experiment. Charlie walked in then, arm looped with her father, the pathetic excuse of a king. It looked as if she was practically dragging him along. Which did cause Alastor’s normal, serene smile to twitch a bit more towards entertained. A flutter of excitement courses through him.

“I am so, so, so glad to see you all here!” The princess of hell beamed, clapping her hands together. Lucifer reluctantly and awkwardly sitting on the couch next to Alastor, the only seat not taken in the circle they’d been instructed to sit in. As that had been the one instruction written on the chalkboard board when they convened here. Vaggie appeared from somewhere, placing paper, glitter, scissors, and other various crafting supplies in the middle of the circle.

Ah.

The realization of what they were doing hit Alastor before Charlie started talking.

“We.” She began, pausing for dramatic effect, “Are.” Another pause, “Making-Valentine’s-Day-cards!” The last burst of words coming out in a collective flurry. Alastor appreciated the pauses, but if on a broadcast, the delivery of the last bit would be unacceptable.

“For each other?” Angel asks, glancing around the table.

“Yes!” Charlie says. “Just to the person on your right, though. Oh! Unless you want to make more!” She tacks onto the end.

Glances are shared around the table. Given their circular arrangement, it looks like Niffty is writing for Angel Dust, Angel Dust to Husk, Husk to Alastor, Alastor to Lucifer, Lucifer to Vaggie, Vaggie to Charlie, Charlie to Niffty.

Alastor doesn’t say anything, but his ears bend backwards as Charlie continues, “I thought we could maybe share them after? Or keep them private. As long as there isn’t anything mean.”

She shoots both Alastor and Lucifer with a pointed look. A short reel playing in Alastor’s head of a flour-covered kitchen, a piano shaped hole in the lobby ceiling, and other events that happened when the two crossed paths.

With a resigned “hmmm,” Alastor reaches for a piece of paper. The others follow suit, normally returning as casual conversation and banter begin alongside the crafting. Alastor doesn’t want to make a card for the small being next to him. So he doesn’t, he makes one like he would have made to give to his Ma. Though the riddle he adds is most certainly a punch of the emotional variety.

What feels like an eternity after he’d finished, but had probably only been a few minutes, it seems like everyone was done. “Alright,” Vaggie begins, voice filled her normal authority. “Pass your cards to the right.”

Without looking, Alastor holds the card he made out to the king. He can feel the annoyed stare directed at him, and even if he couldn’t, the way their fingers gracelessly bump against each other as the blond took the card would be proof enough.

Instead, Alastor looks to Husk. Husker gives him a quick glance before looking away. Turning to meet Angel Dust’s seductive eyebrow wiggle.

Once their each hold the card made for them, they all look to Charlie. Seeming startled by everyone’s attention, she ushers with her hands for them to read their card. “Go on, let’s see what we were given and then, um, share if you feel comfortable.”

Alastor glances down as his card, the outside had a decently shitty cat paw doodled on it, giving a thumbs up. Lazily, he opened it and read, “You’re paws-itively my boss.”

A small, albeit amused, sound escaped Alastor’s lips.

“What is this?” Lucifer asked, looking once again at him. This time, Alastor does look back.

“Does your eyesight suffer along with your height?” Alastor asks. “It’s a Valentine’s Day card.”

Alastor watches, unable to look away now that the king has his attention. A deeply irritating trait of his. Alastor has found that once his eyes land on Lucifer, they have a hard time leaving. The monarch’s face scrunches up some, eyes blinking away the normal cloudiness they hold, replaced with fury, and his cheeks flush a bit golden.

“This.” He states, voice laced with frustration, as he holds up the card and points to the words written inside.”

“They’re words.” Alastor drawls, taking in each little twitch on Lucifer’s face. His eyebrows furrowing.

“Is this some sort of cannibalism kink?” He asks, and that got everyone else’s attention.

A small blast of static comes from Alastor. Taken out of the trance he had been in purely due to the audacity of that question. It shouldn’t surprise him that it went over Lucifer’s head. Not a hard thing to do.

“You can swallow me, but I can consume you too.” Alastor recites the riddle; voice laced with annoyance. “It’s pride. I figured since I was making a valentine for the embodiment of pride, it’s the only thing he’d want.”

Disappointedly, the fiery response he was expecting from the king didn’t come. Instead, Lucifer seems to deflate. Charlie begins to say something, but it turns to back round noise as his thoughts louden instead.

Soon enough, the activity comes to an end. Charlie gives Vaggie a big hug, it seems she’s thrilled with how well it went. Vaggie’s cheeks flush slightly, the two sharing a quick kiss. Husker and Angel Dust are heading to the bar, but Alastor notices Husk’s arm draped on Angel’s hip.

Lucifer had begun walking toward the stairs, and Alastor found himself following, musing, “Could it be having pride is not the same as loving oneself?”

“Look, I’m not in the mood. If Charlie hadn’t prohibited us using our teleporting abilities in the hotel, unless, like, for emergencies, I would be in my room already.”

“Too bad for you then, since we are headed the same direction.” Alastor also wished to retire, their rooms both conveniently and inconveniently on the same floor. “I thought you would be pleased I even bothered to make you a card.”

“The outside of the card had a biological accurate human heart being stabbed through with an arrow.” Lucifer deadpans back.

“Is that not accurate? That is my understanding of what cupid does.” He responds. Eyes not leaving Lucifer’s face as he watches the king’s lips turn upward. For some reason, the sight stirs something in Alastor and he continues to speak. “The card wasn’t entirely meant for you, so no need to get so worked up. Such a short fuse.”

They’re in the elevator now. Silence between them for a moment. “Who else was it for then?”

The doors open and Alastor steps out, not looking to Lucifer as he admits, “my mother and I used to exchange cards, with a riddle written inside.”

“That’s… surprisingly sweet.” Lucifer says, stepping out as well standing to face Alastor, their backs toward their respective rooms. They stand now alone in the middle of the hallway. “I didn’t think you were capable of something so sentimental.”

“There is much going on within me that you will never understand.” Alastor says, because it’s simply the truth.

“Maybe you’re just a riddle to be solved.” Lucifer replies, a challenge in his voice. Alastor’s gaze snaps to meet Lucifer’s. The cloudiness wasn’t there, but neither was the fury he’d seen earlier. This, well, this looks more akin to passion. Not a bright, lively flame but a fire burning steadily.

Caught off guard, Alastor turns to hide his surprise, but he fears a bit too late and begins to walk towards his room. “A task I fear is far too big for the brain of someone your stature.”

“Challenge accepted.” Lucifer replies followed by the sound of him opening a portal and stepping through. Alastor turns around just in time to see the gold ring disappearing. Breaking the rules just to have the last word and one up him. Maybe Lucifer could figure him out. He shuddered at the thought but wasn’t sure if it was from disgust or something else. No matter, this was something that didn’t need an answer.

End!

[misdreavusplush]

world of goo is good you should play it (ft. fan art from 2 years ago)

[bimboficationblues]

The world has moved past the need for Nicki Minaj

[therelentless]

ooc;; i had an rp blog for leeloo.

[creekfiend]

something that drives me insane on a relatively regular basis as a body jewelry understander is talking to people who have sensitive skin who are like "oh well I just can't wear any earrings without my ears getting inflamed" and I say "well what have you tried" and they say "well I've tried sterling silver and I've tried gold..." and it's like. ok. I don't know how gold and sterling somehow got spun by the jewelry industry as being especially good for sensitive skin but whenever I'm like "well have you tried implant grade titanium" they're always like "no....... but I've tried sterling silver... and it didn't work ..." like. I don't know how this narrative about sterling silver somehow got so strong but when they put pins in your fucking legs when you snap your leg in half are those pins made of sterling silver or are they made of implant grade titanium or surgical steel????????? HELLO. HI. YOU MIGHT BENEFIT FROM TRYING IMPLANT GRADE TITANIUM I AM JUST SAYING

[itsajollyjester]

I love the covey girls so much (also im only halfway through the book so no spoilers please I beg)

[technically-human]

Bisexual crisis Crystal edition

[biracy]

[ID: First, a tweet by Grimes that says "It is so monumentally embarrassing that I am finally getting into Christianity because it's the only way I can quit vaping." with a quote-retweet by agitprop & absurdity @.speakers0nblast that says "Yeah okay now I see how she fell for that idiot."

Second, a Wikipedia screenshot that says "In 2023, after members of the r/grimezs subreddit documented her affiliations with far-right figures, Grimes responded 'I'm called a Nazi because I happily am proud of white culture.' She added that she wished to 'emphasize the incredible accomplishments of others ... whilst allowing pride for white ppl accomplishments as well.' She also stated 'Every day I think fondly of the brown king Cyrus the Great.' The statement attracted widespread media criticism, with Halima Jibril writing for Dazed that Grimes was using 'the same tiresome rhetoric white people have used for centuries while they oppress people of colour, reminding her critics that we should 'love each other.'' She later attended far-right blogger Curtis Yarvin's wedding. In January 2025, Grimes attended a party in Washington, D.C., alongside Yarvin, to celebrate the second inauguration of Donald Trump."

End ID]

[brilcrist]

Poolverine Hurtcember

Day 12: A Goodbye Note

"𝘈𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘢 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘭𝘧"

[weedle-testaburger]

this will always be the greatest moment in the history of doctor who documentaries tbh

[grayisthewarmest]

this was supposed to be a glare btw

[cupidsncheerios]

the distinction between arcane jayvik's appeal and league vikjayce's appeal is, in my mind, very very clear.

jayvik spends the whole show telling you the yaoi is doomed, and then in the last twenty minutes tells you that sike the yaoi is actually astrally ordained soulmates who belong together in all timelines & all possibilities, now watch them doom themselves in an explosion shaped like a butterfly and also they may not even be dead

vikjayce says oh, yeah, the yaoi is totally doomed, but look at the fun tricks they can do in divorce court!!!

[sophisticatedswifts]

We’re losing the ancient texts

[howlsnteeth]

personal piece. i've struggled with depression, apathy and disassociation for most of my life, and struggled with emotional regulation. more often than not, any "positive" experiences become Too Much and leaves me in extreme physical discomfort. it hurts to be happy doing something i enjoy. this year i went to the lunar new year festival and had experiences that left me feeling both wonderfully alive, and in pain, burning alive. all i could really keep repeating to myself was "this too, is being alive".

[sashayed]

the Inveterate Criminal Motherfuckers at apple have finally succeeded in choking to death my beloved iPhone 8. devastating to see my faithful companion no longer able to hold a charge and deleting apps at random. be it known that her own courage never failed her; that she fought to the final glimmer of her strength; that she succumbed to pernicious Updates inflicted upon her from a distance by the wicked cowards who created her but could not bear to see her thrive. aluminum sister, i salute you. i will miss your home button every day.