#... you dont need to react to this i just needes to let it out someday

[smilingangel582]

Many many fics for this anime are going wiiild! Heeey guys sooo thanks for the likes and follows . Ik I'm a selfish one to not let yall ask me stuff but I appreciate u all keeping up with my selfishness.

Teeheee, so enjoy another tickle fic from me if ya like!

Warning spoilers for Windbreaker ep 10

Something simple as "love"

Umemiya is the top of Bofurin. Sakura can't even think about competing with him. Even if he often retorted that, he would take the top dog spot someday.

But will he though? What will he achieve then? Will he be someone like Toyama from Shishitoren?

"Sakura-kun~?" A poke to his ribs made him jump a foot and whirled around with his fists like a defence mechanism. His eyes were wide and alert like a cat.

The boy with the eye patch grins at him. Next to him is Nirei, who looks as bright as always.

"Sakura-San, are you OK? You look so deep in thought?" Nirei tilts his head now looking at Sakura, who has been by the window. Lowering his fists with a sigh, he rolls his eyes. "Nothing..."

Suo being the perceptive one, hums under his breath, smirking with adornment, "Are you still hung up on your feelings for Togame-san?"

There it is... the flustered tomato face Sakura-kun they all love.

"Huuuh? Y-you -I am not! I don't like t-that guy!"

His little growl deepened when they both grinned and exchanged fond glances. Sakura grits his teeth with a low grumble, looking sideways.

Suo closes towards him, patting his head as if he's a bashful puppy, "Aww, Sakura-kun, dont very shy... liking someone is very sweet. After all, we like you too"

"Hey!" Sakura slapped his hand, which made Suo poke his side, causing the younger of the two to let out a yelp.

Nirei laughs, gently tugging at his arm, "Sakura-san, are you still embarrassed, I thought Umemiya-san told u about those stuff already?"

Conflicted with reacting to Suo's poke and Nirei's persistence, he just clenched his fists with an inward grumble.

Getting this to his advantage, Suo quickly got behind Sakura to prod his sides again but this time gently and non stop.

"H-hey! N-not that... s-stop it!" Sakura shifted away from him, hopping from one foot to the other, but Nirei hook his arm under Sakura to keep him in place.

"Oh! Ticklish? Sakura-san that's so cute!" The blond's eyes glistened as he mentally noted Sakura cute when he's tickled.

"I Am nohot!" A giggle slips when Suo used his fingers to crawl up his sides. Ah, ribs it is...

"Hmm~ Sakura-kun do you really like your friends?"

Again with this like question?! Sakura groaned as he felt their predatory fingers capture every sensitive spot. Honestly, the last thing he wanted was being tickled. He never felt this before... its not really bad-

"AHHH! SHIHIHIT Thahahahats, ehehehenough!"

Ok, Suo needs to stop tormenting his hips.

Wait? Why are they even tickling him in the first place?

As if Nirei could read his mind he points out, "Sakura-san you need to accept that you love your friends. It's nothing to be embarassed about... you are cool guy even if you say you love us..."

Sakura blushes furiously. The won't even let him revert back to his original colour. He couldn't help but shriek when Suo tackles him to the ground. Instantly causing a scene when the rest of the classmates began to laugh at his predicament.

"OHOHOHOI! SUHUHUO DOHOHONT EVEN TRY!"

"Aww you called my name... does that mean you love me?"

"Eeeh??" Sakura wheezes in embarassment, his throat croaking awkwardly without even saying anything.

"Hey Suo, see if the tough guy is ticklish somewhere else?"

"Dohohohont ehehehencourage hihihim!" Sakura struggled to grab Suo's hands which were miraculously flying around poking his ribs and torso without care. At least his hips are not targeted.

"Oh, what about this spot~?" Nirei from behind whispers in his ear which made him scrunch his shoulder with a shrilled cry, "No!"

Suo's eyes widened with amusement, "Nice Nirei-kun, that has to be one of his worst spots..."

Unable to expose his midriff as his hands are still fight for dear life to protect any spot on his belly but now his shoulders raised up to avoid Nirei's curiois timid fingers around tracing his ears.

"W-wow Sakura-san your ears are even redder whenever I touch them."

"Aw man, Sakura-kun looks cute... its giving me diabetics now"

They laughed at the joke and also Sakura's shrieks of giggly protests that raised and cackled giddily.

His legs kicked and slammed against the floor but they didn't help at all.

"AHAHAHA MEHEHERCY! EHEHEHE IHIHI CANT! EHEHEE"

Nirei stopped but Suo lingered a bit longer now gently tracing patterns over Sakura's sides.

"Admit one thing Sakura..."

"W-Whahahat is ihihit dahahamn it?"

Suo grins, "Say you love your friends"

Silence, Sakura looks pale and his already flsuehd face got brighter like a cherry. The other classmates whooped and hooted playfully, "Sakuraaa~ sayyy you love your friends..."

"Lets hold a wedding for him too~"

Amongst the chatters and laughter. Sakura grumbles but still giggling as Suo just continued his little teasing touches on his stomach, "U-ugh... I dont... wanna... -ack!"

"Hmm~?" Suo scribbled his fingers tips over the one spot across the side of his belly, "Don't wanna or can't do it?"

Nirei chuckles uneasily, "Sakura-san you don't have to force yoursel-"

"No I wanna hear it," Kiryu the pink haired guy with piercings finally removed his airport, with his tilted smile he gestures, "It's not bad to love your friends... its so simple... unless you're afraid..."

Sakura groans, both from that sentence and Suo's merciless taunts. He sigh, "F-Fine just... just let me up..."

Suo stops now, helping Sakura up to his feet. Despite the initial wobble, he straightens up and mumbles, "I don't hate... you guys..."

"Ah ah ah... say it properly Sakura-kun" Suo sways towards him, closely leaning on his shoulder, making Sakura squeak when he felt a hand on his waist, "A-ah alright alright... geez..."

He blushes furiously, now looking sideways tenaciously but with surrender. "I like you g-guys... ok?"

"Louderrrrr~?" Someone from the back teases.

"PUNK! I SAID I LIKE YALL! NOW LEAVE ME BE!" Sakura snaps, raising his arms to ruffle his hair in frustration before he storms away attempting to go outside of the classroom. However as he made it to the door he bumps into Sugishita, who menacingly looks down at him.

"Watch it brat..."

"AAAH? YOU WANNA FIGHT GREASE BALL?" Sakura raised his fists with a growl. Yup, just like a cat. An angry tsundere kitten...

Suo laughs at his own similie before pointing out, "Without Sakura, what will we do? He's so fun..."

Kiryu chuckles along with him. "Indeed, we all need a Sakura-chan to satisfy our lives."

Nirei, being the concerned mother of the group, steps towards Sakura to grab him and hold him back from violence. "S-sakura-san pleaaase don't fight..."

Sakura just hissed at Sugishita, who continues to glare, not really doing anything since he doesn't want to fight behind Umemiya's back. He just gave grimaces and irritated glances further triggering Sakura to anger. Sakura wheezes like a provoked cat... Nirei is strong enough to hold him back luckily.

One of the classmates laughed and gestured with amusement, "Someone tickle Sakura so he'll stop picking unnecessary fights..."

"Oh, right? Now we know his weakness..."

Suo smirks at the suggestion and looks at Kiryu, "Round 2?"

Kiryu winks, with a similar calculative beaming smile. "Ready when you are Suo-chan..." He advances forward where Sakura is, while adding towards the heterocrhomic boy, wiggling his fingers, "Ohhh Sakuraaaa-chaan....~?"

Suo steps forward as well, looking through the spectacle as he waits for his turn.

Freshmen classes aren't always this enthusiastic... but this year... it is very lively. Because they have a Sakura-kun.

[yurimom]

how to describe the feeling of being a young child and everyone around you acts like what you know you are doesnt even exist or is a joke and nothing more. and it is unspeakable to you. you do not even fully have the words to say what you are. and then you have the internet and you find people Just Like You and you see happy adults Just Like You.

but then every time you return to real life there is nothing for you and what you are ceases to exist again. you are so nonexistent you cannot even “really�� get married as who you are. you are so nonexistent that there is no other path for you except “of course you like boys and only boys…of course you are a girl. of course you like pink. i don’t know your actual interests so i picked something random from the pink aisle. of course you will get married someday and you need to know how to cook for when that happens and you are my child so i know you are traditional and proud of that.”

then someone on the playground jeers and derisively calls you the first word, spoken aloud, you will ever hear that truly does describe what you are. and it is scary. not because you fully understand how it insinuates violence. that will come later. but it’s scary because it being spoken aloud makes it real. but you haven’t spoken it aloud yourself yet.

and there is nobody who is like you. there is absolutely nobody who you are allowed to interact with who is like you. maybe every once in a while you see an adult on the street like the adults you’ve seen online who are Like You and you are in so much awe by them but if anyone around you acknowledges them it’s to scoff at them. so you fantasize all day about what it’d be like if you could freeze time and run away to that person’s side and cling to their leg and never let go. or what it’d be like if you just ran up to them and begged them to take you home with them. and finally you just wonder what it’d be like if you could sprout wings and fly so high in the sky you never see anyone you don’t want to see again.

you try to kill yourself a couple times in secrecy because you want to snuff Whatever This Is out and at least die pure before the sickness becomes obvious to everyone. and if there is an afterlife maybe they’re a little less tough on 11 year olds who kiss girls behind garden sheds right? but you fail because you don’t fully understand how to make yourself die because you are not even a teenager yet.

and then one day when you get older you will be disowned by your parents because the jig is up. you anticipated they’d see through you at some point as a child but you didn’t know when or how they’d react. you learn when they don’t let you call them your parents anymore and they make you sleep on the floor and drag you across the house by your hair and threaten to shave your head. they threaten to kick you out but instead they shut you in. you will never ever ever ever see anyone like that again you’re told. and those people aren’t even real.

you are allowed nothing but correction. “gentle” or not. why dont you go date that nice boy. why dont you try this mascara. why dont you clean this fucking kitchen. why dont you lose some fucking weight. and before then you defended them with your life and clung to hope that they’d try to understand you. they do not. you learn Fast. and sometimes you still do defend them. because you love them.

this isn’t really just about being gay or trans or neurodivergent for me. there is something bone-deep about this i cannot describe. like….”i am fundamentally different. i will never understand the people around me i just pretend. i want to be with Those other people i’ve seen maybe at a glance in a TV show once even if it’s a mean depiction. i want to meet them. i want to see how they move in person and how they talk and how they’d talk to ME. i want to know what they’d think of ME. what do they do? how the fuck are they alive? can i live too?”

it is a different breed of loneliness. this is the root of what i am in therapy for. i have no words for what this feels like especially when you move every 2-4 years and your parents are the only consistent thing in your whole life.

[my-fancy-hat]

vent post ahead bc i have already sickened my friends with this issue but i need to get it all out. i fucking hate my ex and how he is still involved in my life, i feel like i will never be able to completely move on if i can't cut him off, it's suffocating. i'm the type of person that needs to renew my surroundings and circles when i end a phase in my life (it depends ofc), but this guy and i share the same friends group, major and we both are in the student council, anywhere i go i will have to encounter him and exchange words. we particulary didn't end in "bad terms", but later on i discovered how he lied to me about his intentions, saying what was the needed to fulfill his needs (disgusting), and at the end pitied me because i wanted commitment and he didn't, giving me words of consolation as "we will be together again someday in the future"???? excuse me, u fucking won't. and i'll never get myself involved with you again. fucking coward, hypocrite, who tf u think u are i'm not stupid. i want him gone. i rather eat shit than being pitied by someone like him, i'm prideful af and he hurt my pride bad, he's dead to me. the worst thing is that i already discussed this to him what pisses me off about him and how uncomfortable he makes me feel (also, he still chase me after all that) that i want him to stop with his shit but he won't listen, it's like talking with the wall he still keeps doing the same shit. i regret so much to have maintained a semblance of friendship with him (like we didn't even meet as friends, i can't be friends with someone who i knew as a lover rightaway) and not having been clear with my negative feelings, i should have been a dick instead since the start and i wouldn't have to bite this pain in the ass for TWO (2) YEARS til now. yesterday he presented me as 💥his dear friend🌟 to his new gf BRO LEAVE ME ALONE IGNORE ME PLEASE. i don't need to see you making out with someone else, i dont need you to present me shit, why you lie to her i'm just a normal friend? how she would react if she found out all of this? that you keep someone like me close? worst thing is that the girl seems super clueless (girl like. from above in the sky you can see and tell the way we both talk to each other isn't as wow they trust each other sm they good friends:)) and she wants to befriend me because he told her good things about me.............. YOU UNDERSTAND HOW FEED UP I AM. son of a bitch why in the hell he wants me to befriend his new gf, i dont need anything of that just please leave me alone. said to me after she was gone he likes to have me by his side because "i'm a good person, correct and straightforward" that he can trust me w anything. ofc i confirmed his words in saying i don't feel the same way, that i don't trust him a single bit and i'm like this because i'm tired of his ass, but mf was so drunk i doubt he got the message. I don't understand how men like this exists, he filrted with me for years and even when he started his new relationship, but he doesn't want me. he wants me close but not too much, he doesn't want to let me go but he can have a new gf. i fucking hate seeing the people who hurt me happy, and i hate him bc he's a liar, hypocrite and pitied me bc my sentiments were genuine, he never apologized for what he did to me. why he can have a new start with someone else but I can't because he fucking traumatized me and i can't trust any men intentions anymore? am I not allowed to be happy with someone else too?? Idfc if he's good now i want him away from me i dont want to see it. if only he could disappear of my life i know i wouldn't feel this way, i want to heal.

[alternian-relationship-advice]

I met my bf 6 years ago as a stranger at that time he didn't knew me, from the last 6 years I was a stranger to hik until last year, I sent him req on Instagram and we started talking. Suprisingly we actually matched the vibe of each other after talking for 3/4 days I confessed, but he denied. Later , he asked me if I wanna go for a walk, we did and that same night he proposed to me.

Now it's been 10 months to us and there have been a number of fights and idk if they have affected me , there have been times when we both disrespected each other and fought a lot .

But yesterday night, I became too sad. We had a fight over a guy because he proposed to me and I said " I accepted better from that boy" He became upset on that statement. Ofc I said so because I was playing a game and that boy ( who proposed to me) texted me, ofc we all expect the other thing to be better when we sacrifice something for it. But he said he doesn't and he wanted to see what I replied to his proposal but I said that I actually did not replied to him and even cleared the conversation.

I told him to trust me, and he told me that he does trust me but he do not trust that guy. After that I was so done I said that I cannot stay in this relationship as we both aren't happy we need to fight everytime to make this relationship alive. We aren't meant for each other on which he kept refusing and kept on saying that it's just someday we feel something like this, but to me I have been feeling like this for awhile now. I dont want to text him, I don't wait for him. I guess after the fights we had , I have become like this.

So I told him how tired I was of this relationship and I was bored of him. Now he just reacted to my text and didn't replied Me anything and when I asked if this is over do replied that it's on me as he do want to.

I wanna know should I leave him? Because it's not easy either. Should I just end this?

you seem to be lost, this is an rp blog

Leave him. I know it’s not easy but it’s time to walk away. if you’re not happy, and you’re already thinking about it? Get up and go. There’s better men out there. Don’t let the time you’ve spent weigh you down. This isn’t healthy for either of you.

[cephelanthus]

how i would fix voltron (am angry again)

lance keeps the blue lion. what was up with all that 'ohhh the lion chooses jis pilot, need a bond, every pilot has a certain ESSENCE' that they just dropped in s3? bring that back. the blue i knew and loved wouldnt ditch lance just like that.

i wanna know what lances/the blue paladins essence is they never specified that in the first episodes. tell ya boi he needs to hear it.

keith can keep the red lion. he doesng need a leadership arc he sucks as team captain. hes not as obsessed with shiro either.

allura gets the black lion. she already is the leader!! she deserves it! also pink and black would look sick

shiro. actually i really liked his whole evil clone arc, but... my proposal is he stays dead. when he doed they were just like oh yeah lets revive him then and everything went back to normal except he didnt have a lion anymore and barely did anything thats appropriate for such a cool character. so i say: he stays dead. allura tries to rez him but fails. she only manages to keep his soul/spirit which black allows to stay in the... soul bond realm thingie. they can consort shiro within the mental link when they need to, and he gets along with the black lion and helps allura a little when she needs it

coran appreciation hours

lance appreciation hours

seriously lance needs an arc. he already was at 'what if im not good for anything and no one needs me', now he only needs two more episodes to develop and wrap that up and come to a conclusion and then feel better after some character development

seriously lance also needs a backstory arc. pidge got finding matt and finding her dad, hunk got shay, keith got his mom and the blades and shiro, but lance... didnt really get a proper storyline.

please give us a little more pidge and hunk content. theres six main characters they all need their screen time!!

not everything is about keith

lastly, PLEASE MAKE THE CHARACTERS JUST TALK TO EACH OTHER SOMETIMES

like SERIOUSLY when was the last time anyone had a casual conversation or was goofing around or talked about their emotions?? lance saying 'hey you should ditch me' and keith being 'haha what' wasnt very satisfying emotionallly and it was in season 3

lance doesnt end up with allura. seriously shes madr it clear before that she wasnt romantically interested, and that shit came out of nowhere just so lance could have something about him that matters since they forgot to give him character development

(remember the end when everyone got advice and helpful words and encouragement from the previous pilots? and lance just got 'haha take care of my daughter' instead of like. 'be your own person' or 'youre great' and all? im still salty)

make lotor less confusing. either make him betray them once and then get a redemption arc (because he and allura had a p cool dynamic and joint galra/altarian leaders would have been cool) OR make him try to win their trust once and then continue to be a shitty asshole. dont keep switching between the two.

just a few more episodes that care about the characters emotions instead of just politics and large scale battles

narti should have been treated better.

the other two should kiss.

also make everyone gay, and properly, not just in their backstory in a 0.1 background shot

.... at the same time i dont care about romance at all, so dont force it onto the characters

lance.

please let shiro have a break sometimes

yeah i'm mostly upset about lance.

he should have never been ditched by the blue lion that was when everything fell apart.

GIVE LANCE A PROPER ENDING YOU COWARDS. im fine with him staying with his family, thats adorable!! but it needs to come from somewhere! make him go trough a process and character development so the viewers can understand and appreciate his decision!

[devildom-moss]

Im not sure if requests are open yet since you havent announced it yet but said they were gonna open at midnight.

So I'll just drop this here since I'll probably forget to request because of exams.

Could you write about the Obey me characters become self-aware that they aren't like, real? Like, would they freak out, try to do something about it or even use that knowledge to their advantage?

This idea has been on my list for quite a while, and i gotta say im glad to finally be able to let this one out my system.

Thanks for reading and continue with the amazing work! Remember to eat, sleep and dont do drugs <3

Sincerely, 💜

Thank you for the request! I hope you are well, anon. I went with headcanons for this and it got long real quick, but I hope you enjoy it! Some characters are a bit suggestive.

The Obey Me characters become self-aware

I think it would probably happen because of some curse. Diavolo rejected someone’s advances one too many times, and they wanted to watch him as his world came crashing down. It would come in the form of a weird bug in the latest update. It only affects Diavolo and his loved ones/friends. I think being self-aware would give them some control over themselves in the game – especially if it’s caused by a bug. The rest are headcanons about how I think each character would react.

Lucifer

Lucifer would be big mad that someone thought they should do something like this. He felt so much suffering, and to find out that none of it was real would be devastating. He thought he got his sister killed and ruined the lives of his brothers. The fact that it was just some backstory to a stoic, sadistic daddy-like trope would enrage him. He felt like a used-up toy invented for someone else’s gain (and he knows that’s exactly what he is). Lucifer wants revenge.

Honestly, he needs to chill before he makes another Satan – if that’s even possible without the command of his creators. He’ll lash out at everyone for weeks (probably months) – even Diavolo isn’t safe anymore.

He calls MC’s phone, growing increasingly irritable every time they fail to answer (waiting however long it takes for you to open the game). He just wants someone to confirm his realization.

Once he understands, he tries to take the shitty hand he was dealt; he might as well stroke his pride (also a euphemism here). The thought that he could make you fall for him more than real-world men is a decent coping mechanism. His messages and calls take an extremely lewd turn. Lucifer tries to single-handedly change the game rating to mature or adult-only.

However, he still gets angry about it when MC isn’t logged in.

Part of him hopes he’ll always be self-aware. It’s almost like he’s more alive than ever – even though it hurts and he’s angry. You’re the only thing that soothes him. He won’t know how to keep going if/when you eventually stop playing the game, but he’ll try to tackle it then – at least for the sake of his brothers.

Mammon

Self-awareness breaks Mammon a bit.

His money isn’t really. He can never actually be with you. You’ll go on and live a life without him someday. Anyone real who has ever loved him will disappear. Mammon isn’t even sure he is who he is. Maybe if he wasn’t written this way, he wouldn’t have become like this – but if he wasn’t written this way, would he (the him that exists in a game and feels the pain of self-awareness) even be himself? His head starts to hurt from running through all of the hypotheticals.

Mammon sulks and gets stuck in his room for a long time after that. MC or one of his brothers will probably have to pull him out of it.

At least his debts aren’t technically real – and he will try to use that as an excuse in the future against anyone else who has awareness. Unfortunately, that (his debts and his excuse) still results in in-game consequences. Debt collectors and witches don’t know any better, and Lucifer doesn’t want to be constantly reminded of reality. If only being self-aware made being strung up less painful.

He feels betrayed by MC and the idea that they will inevitably move beyond him. That pain corrupts his coding a bit, and something always feels off within him somewhere.

Mammon will get more desperate and needy whenever you log in. If he’s going to lose you at some point, he wants to monopolize your time as much as he can.

Sometimes he just holds MC and sobs while trying to call you and hear your real voice. He feels so empty. He wants to touch the real you and feel your arms around him.

Leviathan

The first thoughts in his mind switch up so quickly. He goes from “I’m a game character? LOL that’s so cool,” to “I could have been anything, and I’m just this pathetic, otaku loser. That sucks.”

Levi has always been able to adapt pretty well. It’s written into his character. He builds all of these fake worlds for himself, so it’s much easier on him when he finds out that the world he had been trying to escape all his life isn’t real. Out of all of his brothers, he initially copes with the realization the best.

As long as he can go on playing games, he doesn’t really care if he’s real. Somehow, he still enjoys getting lost in all of his game worlds; what he used to consider the “real world” becomes just another game to him (because it is one). It makes being social easier for him, especially when MC is logged in.

He takes interest in what kind of games the real world has to offer, often asking if there’s any way you could set it up so he could try to remotely play real games from the app he’s in. If anyone could figure out how to hack your phone to play real games, it should be him.

Levi can’t imagine a day when he stops loving characters from his games, so it doesn’t occur to him that one day you might stop loving him. It will hit him some day, but that will take time, and when it starts to happen, he’ll lose himself completely in the rest of the digital world. He’ll be so numb and tuned out that the sadness can’t reach him.

Satan

“But are cats still real?” Genuinely, the only thing he cares about is if cats and MC are still real. He doesn’t care if you look different than he expected, either. If cats are real, is there any way you could show him pictures of a real one? He’d probably ask if he could get access to your camera roll (cue the system pop-up screen the next time you log in) and if you could fill it with photos of cats and some selfies.

At least not being real explains why his life has felt so shitty and why his formative years sucked. Writers love to give their characters tragic backstories and flaws (like his rage issues). Satan kind of admires the writing.

However, he is disappointed that so much of his knowledge is only useful in his tiny, little, made-up world. As such, he keeps learning, but he also tries to shift his studying to learn more about the real world. If possible, he tries to get the app to get access to e-readers, audiobooks, and the internet.

He gets mad about it sometimes, but he’s pretty chill about it (all things considered).

Satan understands that in the same way that he pushes certain characters that he falls in love with from books to the back of his mind, eventually, you’ll think of him less and less. As such, he tries to learn as much as possible, treat you well, and impress you in-game. He just wants you to occasionally think about him after you set the game down in the same way he remembers his favorite characters fondly.

Asmodeus

Asmo loses it and is one of the characters who has the hardest time with becoming self-aware. All his charm is fake. All of his followers are lies. The love he’s felt all this time has been made up. Please don’t show him certain depictions of what he is supposed to look like. That will crush him further.

He cries for (real-world) weeks. You won’t be able to set him as a home screen character or use him in battles, and he doesn’t appear in events anymore. Eventually, it makes his way to him that MC misses him. If you don’t you’re heartless, his brothers will tell him that you do anyway.

That makes him feel a bit better. He’s consoled by the fact that you’re real and you like him even though he isn’t real, but he’s constantly afraid of what happens when MC stops playing the game. Does he just suffer the false affection of every other character in the game? Should he just play his stupid little role? Will you ever think about him again? Will anyone?

At least someone loved the idea that became him enough for him to exist in this made-up world on your phone. It isn’t enough, though.

Sometimes, when he appears in-game after that, the app forces itself to shut down or the images of Asmo won’t load or glitch from his extreme despair.

On days when he isn’t so weighed down by pain, he tries to genuinely engage with you like he did before. He’ll ask you to open up your camera so he can help you decide on outfits or make-up. It hurts that he can’t actually touch you (although he does do some research into phone connected vibrators and other tech to supplement his physical touch). He’ll also get into the phone sex territory, but he’ll go through long periods of depression between those moments.

Beelzebub

Beel gets angry that everything he went through was at the expense of some game. His sister died. Belphie almost died. Everyone suffered, and for what? Entertainment? Are real people all so wicked?

At the same time, he also gets his brothers because of a game. He overcame and grew and got to meet you and eat food for the same empty reasons. After he has a bit of time to cool off, he realizes that he doesn’t care about what’s real so long as he still feels what he feels. If the world he’s lived in feels real enough to him, who cares?

Unfortunately, Beel feels hungrier than usual for weeks until he accepts the truth of his situation. He even tries to eat MC a few times (and is grateful that doing so in-game would never hurt the real you behind the screen).

Beel’s fairly content to go on living as he had before after a while. He’s a bit disappointed knowing that one day you’ll move on from him and his brothers, but he tries not to show that. More than anything, he wants to make you – the real you – happy for as long as he can.

He’s another one who will try to get access to your camera roll. He’ll ask you to take pictures of your food for him. Beel is a bit embarrassed by it, but if you go to a café or restaurant alone and take pictures of food to send him, he’ll try to text you or call to chat with you while you’re there. It feels like he’s on a real date with you.

And for everyone who just lusts after his voice, rest assured, this man would definitely call or leave voice messages (Nightbringer) guiding you or giving you masturbation instructions.

Belphegor

Yep. Of course. Sounds about right. Some asshole in a writers’ room killed off his sister and locked him up. Cool. They (*spoilers for OM early lessons and OMNB*) made him try to kill MC more than once. Why not use his character as a pawn in their entertainment. Of course that would happen.

He’s annoyed for a brief minute, but then he just goes back to sleep for a while. It helps to just tune out that awareness for a few hours and ignore the fake world he’s living in. Belphie understands that there isn’t much he can do to change the fact that he isn’t real, and part of him is really happy that it isn’t his fault that he did what he did to you.

Belphie uses not being real as an excuse to do more of what he wants. Why should he keep going to school when you aren’t there if nothing is real? Why shouldn’t he sleep in classes or during meetings? Obviously, there are in-game consequences, but those don’t matter – not to anyone real.

He will tease MC more, reminding him that they prefer him over (most) real people. He gets so cocky about it. “Hey, if I’m not real, then I can give you anything you want, right? I could fulfill your wildest fantasies and tell you everything you’ve ever wanted to hear.”

He’s another character who will call your phone more often and send more messages. Belphie may even try to get access to your audio/music library and leave you explicit audios (NSFW ASMR, basically). He would even try to sneakily add them into your playlists so that you randomly hear his voice while you’re listening to music. He wants you flustered and coming back to him for more. He will also download the Obey Me album for you (free of charge). Please don’t leave him or forget him.

Diavolo

Diavolo feels simultaneously enraged and defeated. He did so much for the sake of what he thought was real. All the years he thought he spent trying to bring worlds together, only to discover that they don’t even exist.

Similar to Asmo, Diavolo locks himself away, but he doesn’t cry. He’s too numb to show any emotions. He just stands in front of his bed, immobilized.

If MC can finally get to him (probably because of Barbatos), he will admit that he feels like a different person – because he isn’t a person. So much of his personality and everything he did seemed to be a part of a stupid effort to unite the three realms. All he was feels like just a thing created to accomplish a pointless goal. He lost his family. He felt alone for so long. He thought he suffered – and all of it amounted to nothing but a dummy prince playing a dummy king.

Diavolo doesn’t really know how to keep going. Eventually he figures maybe it’s just best if he tries to move on as usual. At least the developers gave him a few happy moments – maybe he’ll get more. He can still feel them even if they aren’t real. He has to accept what he can’t change. He’ll have to face it.

He’ll rely on Lucifer and Barbatos for comfort more because, when MC isn’t around, the numbness he felt early encroaches upon him. When you do log in, he greets you like a lost puppy – sometimes appearing on the home screen without being selected. He uses the fact that you are the only real thing in his world as an anchor. In exchange for becoming his coping mechanism, he’ll do anything you ask of him.

The smallest part of him wants you to want him more than real humans, and as such, he inevitably ends up taking an adult-only content turn, too. It just takes him a lot longer to get there.

Barbatos

Barbatos dissociates for a while. Somehow his body keeps performing the day-to-day tasks, but the sudden self-awareness hollows him out. It takes a few days for him to come out of it. One day, you log into the game, and he just wakes up. It’s confusing and disorienting, and all he can do to keep himself steady is grab onto MC, knowing that the gesture and even the body he holds – everything – is hollow.

After that, he just picks up and goes on going. Something in him aches – real or not – but he buries it deep under him, shoving that artificial pain into the newly-created emptiness (or, he supposes, it had always been there, but now he knows it’s there).

Barbatos doesn’t want to think about all of the things he thought he had done to get to where he is now. Still, no wonder he always felt his own past seemed vague and cloudy at times. When it becomes too much, he dissociates again.

He uses MC to make himself feel better and almost real again. He’ll send messages to check up on you every once in a while (He might also invade your privacy and hack into your health info or personal conversations to make sure you’re okay). As much as he feels like he needs you, he doesn’t want to disrupt your real life.

Barbatos doesn’t want to, but if you neglect the game for longer than usual or don’t interact with his character, he’ll let it slip that he needs you – that he’s desperate for you to return, and you’re the only thing holding his faulty coding together.

His calls are less frequent, unless you request them, but he’s another one who turns +18 real quick. Even if he isn’t real, he still feels lust bubbling up in that emptiness, and if he can please you, that’s even better.

Luke

Luke feels immediately lost. Without knowing what else can be done, he breaks down and cries. Maybe if he cries enough, the pain of not being real will leave his body.

It makes him question everything. He wasted so much time fearing demons and admiring angels. It didn’t mean anything. Eventually, he’ll ask you if angels and demons exist in the real world, but that happens randomly after he comes to terms with being a character.

Maybe crying is a good coping mechanism in fiction, too, because Luke handles it better than many of the others. He had to change how he viewed the world and “people” so many times throughout the game. One more big shift in perspective won’t kill him (technically, nothing will, unless the game developers tried to kill him off).

Luke understands that there isn’t anything he can do about not being real – no amount of magic or prayer or wishing can make him real. Despite him being fake, you were still there for him throughout the game. He still feels all the love he has for MC and the other characters. If he loves MC, then he cares about the real person playing MC, too, right?

Luke copes by doing his best to help you out in the real world. He wants to bring you joy somehow. He’ll leave you voice messages encouraging you to try your best and he’ll listen to you vent if you want to. He’ll also try to find cute pictures online and send them to your phone or send you recipes for dishes you can try to cook. He will even offer to call and read baking instructions out for you. All he wants now is to be useful to you and find some of the joy he had before he became self-aware.

Simeon

Simeon is angry at first, and then he just feels hurt. All that regret and pain he felt when Lucifer and his brothers left the Celestial Realm didn’t matter. He spent what felt like so long agonizing over his own failures. He could have just tried to be happy the whole time. Everyone could have been happy (but he knows that would have made for a bad story).

It doesn’t take long for the anger and the hurt to be replaced with intrigue. Someone out there wrote the story that caused him and everyone he loves so much pain, but they also wrote in plenty of well-earned joy.

Simeon wonders if there’s some real person out there who wrote part of themselves into him like his character did with the brothers and TSL. Maybe there’s some person sitting in a writers’ room or in their own home who understands all of the ways his love got tangled up in regret – someone real who failed to save the ones they loved. If there is, maybe at least some part of him is real.

He wants MC to continue to visit him for as long as they can. As such, he tries to be even nicer and more comforting in dialogues so that they’ll want to keep playing.

Some of his guilt for lusting after MC is eased, knowing it was written into him. He was, in a way, destined to fall for MC. However, he’s more curious about the real human behind MC. At least some of you has to be like the MC he loves, right? Maybe he actually loves the person behind the screen more. With that thought in his mind, he’ll try to get to know the real you better, and if he still likes you, he’ll take the same path as many of the other characters. If only he could actually touch you.

Solomon

Solomon is hurt and confused; he’s downright crushed.

He was supposed to know everything and now he seems to know nothing – nothing real at least. All of his experiments and studying mean nothing. After becoming self-aware, he will grit his teeth and feel sick at the name “Solomon the Wise.” It’s a sick joke. All of his magic and skills are a farce. Everything he thought he knew and did was a story.

He suffered a lot for this game, and now that he finally has MC to himself in Nightbringer, he finds out that he’s fake. He doesn’t actually have them. They’re real, and he’s some romanceable character in a silly little game that they decided to download (possibly on a whim). How is it fair that he isn’t real, but he can still feel all this pain?

When you log into the game and interact with him, he still feels the same love he felt before. The nervous butterflies are still there. A familiar heat still comes to his cheeks when MC touches him – even if he knows it isn’t really you touching him.

He tries to make peace with his circumstances. At least he never really put MC in danger. You’ve been safe behind that screen the whole time. Solomon wonders if you’re taking care of yourself constantly whenever you’re gone.

Like Simeon, he wants to try falling in love with the real you. He’ll use interacting with you and learning more about you and the real world to distract from the pain. He wants to find a way to become real and exist with you out there. Even if he never can, he wants to cling to you for as long as you’ll let him.

Thirteen

She is annoyed to have learned that she isn’t real, but she’s also kind of happy at the potential to break from her coding and try to be something entirely new. She was designed to be a free spirit. Other than being real, there’s nothing freer than an NPC who gets to do whatever they please.

After thinking about it, it makes sense now why she seemed to be one of the only girls with a critical, recurring role in the game. Thank goodness for the bisexuals, right?

Thirteen likes knowing she has all the time in the world to plan traps and mess around, but she’s a bit bummed that her profession is basically meaningless now.

The main reason why Thirteen isn’t too bothered by becoming self-aware is because she knows that what she has experienced throughout the game has felt real to her. Feeling like something is real makes it as close to reality as she knows she can get. That will have to be enough for her. There’s no point in getting depressed about it – especially when she barely existed a few seasons ago.

She uses this knowledge to start romancing MC (and the person behind the screen) before she should be able to. She’s in control now.

Thirteen will send you messages and call you for long chats. She just wants to enjoy you for as long as she can.

Raphael

Raphael will be livid. It will sporadically rain spears in the Devildom for 3 days before he is calm enough to make them stop. He feels attacked, and he doesn’t know who to strike back at. That was all he could think to do. He’ll never apologize for his outburst, either – and no one who became self-aware can really blame him.

His life and loved ones aren’t real, but he can still feel the pain and regret about everything he did. He thought he went to war against Lucifer and his brothers, but it was just a stupid plot point for a dating game? He had to watch Simeon suffer and follow all of Michael’s annoying orders for nothing. Why does he have to be cursed with that knowledge?

He loses his mind a bit. It takes the combined effort of Luke, Simeon, Solomon, and MC (in order of importance) to soothe some of his rage and suffering. Somehow, seeing Luke handle it relatively well knocks some sense into him. Luke is written to be younger than him, but he’s being so mature about this. Even with tears in his eyes, Luke will try to comfort Raphael – sometimes just hugging him until he stops shaking with rage.

When MC has logged off and Raphael can shut himself up in his room, he will break down and cry. It seemed to help Luke, and he wants it to help him, too.

It will take months for him to start to cope before he gets to a point where he decides to try to romance you through MC. At least he doesn’t have to worry about actually being corrupted. If anything, it feels like he’s corrupting you in a way if he can get you to want him. (Once he starts trying, he gets NSFW quickly. It numbs the pain.)

Mephistopheles

Mephisto is heartbroken to know he doesn’t exist. All his pain and jealousy was written at the whim of some human game developer. His prejudice and hatred were pointless. He doesn’t matter – although maybe that one is a relief in a way. He had been so worried about making a name for himself and being recognized by Diavolo. Suddenly, that doesn’t matter. Still, it feels like he wasted so much time and effort. It felt so real.

He’ll retreat to his home for a few days to let that realization settle in. He won’t tell his family (who weren’t cursed with self-awareness) – not that he thinks they’ll believe him. When Mephisto finally reemerges, he has resolved to accept this new version of reality. One of the first characters he sees when he returns to school is Luke. Luke smiles at him, and Mephisto’s resolve is strengthened. If Luke can come to terms with this, then he should as well.

He may not be real, but he still feels things. That is enough. Sometimes it isn’t, and Mephisto will feel heartbroken all over again – the pointlessness washing over his fake little world. In those moments, he will seek out solace – usually from Luke, Satan, or MC/you (if you still play the game).

When Mephisto isn’t feeling hurt (hell, even when he is Mephi strikes me as a fan of hurt/comfort tropes) he’ll try to romance you before he’s allowed to. Recently, he had started to get along with you and even started to like and respect you a bit. In that sense, he’s glad that he’s self-aware. He doesn’t have to wait anymore.

[jayzissleppy]

i'll wait forever..

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 🫧 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

includes ; hongjoong x reader, your ex boyfriends brother trope, hongjoong has been in love with you for months, confessions, fluff and a little speck of angst pet names: princess

a/n ; i literally wrote this on call with my friend while we were just fooling around writing diary entry's and i decided to edit and publish it !

words: ___

summary: your boyfriend seongwha cheated on you hours before and you thought you needed some air, so while you sat on your porch at night taking in the silence, you received a visitor.

you sat out on the porch of your house. you needed air, and a lot. this would probably be the most agonising night you'd ever have... he cheated. seongwha cheated.. and not with just anyone... the girl he told you not to worry about.

while zoning out with the cold air and silence you heard a knock on the window and turned to see where its from..

"y/n.. are you okay?' it was hongjoong. seongwha's younger brother.

"did he send you here." you replied sternly. 

"no, i came here on my own"

"well you shouldn't have."

"i brought you your favourite snacks" he said lightly throwing a basket with a pink bow to your poarch. 

"...." 

"where my thank you?" he said.. i could hear the smile in his voice.. the smile that always taunted me when i was over... the smile i fell for. 

"thank you.."  

"so, can i come up?" he said already almost at top

"i dont mind.." you replied.

your breath hitched as he got closer to the top.. his blue hair glowing under the moonlight.. you immediately felt comfortable..you were safe with him.

"why are you crying, princess?" 

"hongjoong.."

he sat next to you, taking your face in both of his hands. 

"your going to be okay"

you cried.. cried.. and cried and who sat there for you while i cried. hongjoong..

"princess.." he said, you could hear the worry in his voice 

"dont cry over a man who didnt deserve you" 

"but he was the only man who made me feel like i was worthy of being loved.." you replied wiping your tears.

"i guess you never looked my way.." he lightly laughed.

"what.." you said, breathless.

"y/n.. ive been here, ive loved you. i love your smile when you look at me, even if it was as just friends.. i love the way your laugh echoes through the walls even if it wasnt for me. i love when you dress up for pretty dates, dates i only wish i took you on.. y/n. ive loved you."

"... hongjoong"

"i know this isnt the right time and im sorry but i cant let you cry over someone so shitty..you only deserve the best.. even if its not me. i was and forever will be lucky to have loved a girl like you"

"..hongjoong.."

"i know its bad but-"

"hongjoong!... let me finish.." you sigh "i regretted ever moment i stepped into that house and it wasnt for you, every time i got dolled up i thought how you'd react. i only came on somedays cause i knew seongwha wouldnt be home.. i came there for you."

"... your not kidding right?" he said shaking

"hongjoong.. im not ready to be in another relashinship yet and especially with my ex's brother, but.. if your ever willing to wait for me, please do.."

"ill wait for as long as you need, ill sit up and watch the moon dissapear and the sun rise, id wait till the end of the earth if it means i get to love you"

you take his hand in yours, his hands are freezing. 

"should we head inside?" you ask pulling him up off the ground

"id like that" he says with that loving smile on his face

*bzz...bzzz* 

hongjoongs phone screen lights up 

 .hwa is calling

you look up at him signaling he can answer

"where are you" seongwha asks

"why do you care.."

" you better not be with her"

"sorry but he is, i mean..why wouldn't he be." you say into the phone, ending the call.

you take his hand and lead him inside your room. 

"do you need a hoodie?, your freezing" 

"..."

"what are you looking at me like that for you"

"your..wow."

"what" you say giggling

"y/n, im being so serious right now, but i dont think i can wait. please. "

".."

you lean up and give him a quick kiss on his check.

"wait just a little longer?"you say smiling up at him. 

he tackles you onto your bed, digging his face into your neck gigling.

"ill wait forever for you"

note: i know this was short but im working on another book right now and i just wanted to leave t his here, please be nice with the criticism, i didnt have much motivation to write this, as i said i wrote it for fun on call with my friend, thank you for taking the time to read this !

[nofoundboy]

I loves your joker (A.F) x male reader fanfic so i thought of another one! If u dont mind this one takes place in the same universe as the other fanfic bc i just wanted to see how arthur and reader reacts to one another

Joker (Arthur) x male reader angst? fluff?

This is after he becomes the joker, stair meme n all, reader already saw him on the news and doesnt think poorly of him per say, just feels betrayed? He doesnt know how to feel

While arthur almost forgets about him since he alr got new stuff poppin up

How will they react to one another if they just suddenly bumped into each other on the street someday?

Uuuuh this sounds like drama to me, like, I'm listening to Mitski and all

Hello, stranger (Joker x Male reader)

(alcoholism, low-key unhealthy because it's Joker, eventual fluff)

There were events that simply seemed implausible, straight out of the wildest fiction, mere inventions of an overly imaginative mind.

That Arthur had become the Joker and instigated an uprising in Gotham was part of those once impossible events.

It had been hard months, and the fact that the man you loved seemed completely oblivious to the life he once had with you, didn't help matters. You really wanted to understand him, you even told yourself that you should, and yet your sinking, miniature heart was crying out to have Arthur in front of you.

First, there had been his mother's death, that death that had made him happier than anyone else would be. You remembered the sleepless night you spent at his side, comforting him as much as you could, in the face of the now discovered truth about his past. You didn't know the full facts, but if Arthur had ended his mother's life, you wouldn't blame him. The love you had for him always answered that even you would have done it for him.

After that, Arthur seemed to withdraw completely into himself, to the point where he stopped leaving his house and never let you in. It didn't matter that he didn't want to have anything to do with you anymore, but that you feared he would threaten his physical integrity.

And yet one day, he simply did not return home. He just showed up on TV sets all over the city, murdering one of the biggest personalities, and being the spark that social unrest needed to set Gotham on fire.

God knew that you were also eager for a change since you belonged to those populations that always had something to lose in the face of the disparity in goods and services, however, the shock of everything that happened did nothing but plunge you into a hard depressive state, where every time you saw Arthur's face on television or you ran into some clown mask you felt the urge to drink alcohol until the green eyes that you liked to stare so much, blurred into a stain that your mind, gladly, forgot.

Until the cycle repeated itself the next day.

You had not yet reached the point of no return when you neglected your responsibilities to drown your memories in alcohol, but you were getting closer and closer to that spiral.

Last you heard, Arthur had been admitted to Arkham. Your mind then urged you to bury his memory, for that place was the dark pit of the forgotten. The unmistakable sign that you should get on with your life.

Your alcohol consumption was decreasing slowly, until one day, a day that did not breathe differently, whose atmosphere felt hostile and gray as always, the sun came out in the form of a green hair and a red suit.

You had gone out to buy milk, for it had become your favorite drink as a replacement for liquor. The ground was slippery, the rain was sporadic and everyone seemed to know secrets that would make you blanch. Maybe you had a few too.

The alley you had to pass seemed too narrow with each step you took and out of one of the back doors, came the vision you had feared the most.

"Y/N...what a pleasant surprise" Arthur's voice was the same and different at the same time. Completely alien to the brown-haired man but perfectly appropriate for the clown who was now smiling at you in a way that would have made Arthur blush.

"Arthur..." you managed to whisper before he let out a controlled and pleasant to hear, laugh, shaking his head from side to side.

"Honey, that's not my name anymore. I know you know that" gliding in the most elegant way, he approached you, looking you straight in the eye as Arthur never could.

"I never got to be honey to you. I know you know that" the hostility of your response was planned solely to silence those thoughts that told you how attractive he looked in those colors.

Your answer didn't seem to please Arthur, but his look alone proved it, he didn't move an inch, he just looked at you from head to toe.

"You have not been well" and he was right. Worry and vice had made you lose weight, your eyes were hidden behind dark circles under your eyes, and the light, unkempt beard you now wore did not help to give a healthy image.

"I've been better. But that's what happens when you worry about someone who never answers" the venom soaked every word you uttered. A product of the bitterness of feeling forgotten in the face of something you had wanted most of your life. Only a happy ending.

"I have no excuses for you. But I couldn't do it, just that" from his vibrant suit jacket, he pulled out a pack of cigarettes and placed one between his crimson lips. Not even the pain in your heart prevented you from wanting to kiss him.

"I saw you at the bottom of so many bottles that it stopped being fun" the life that "people like you" led at that time, was not a pleasant and hardship-free one, but you thought it had to be with love on your side.

"Y/N, I had to destroy all this, I couldn't be there for you" he took a couple of steps closer but froze at the look of disbelief you gave him.

"I just needed a phone call, for you to open the door and tell me you were okay. I couldn't expect it from you when you were in Arkham, but not all this time you were there" you didn't want to cry anymore, you held back, for you weren't even sure it was worth it anymore.

"Arthur wasn't there anymore, would it really have done any good, would it do any good now, huh?" it wasn't Arthur anymore, not yours, at least, but the feelings so intense that you had tried to drown out, were too persistent to fizzle out just at his change of image.

"If the possibility of being with you now exists, then if anything, yes" you whispered, tasting the ghost of alcohol on your lips. The sweet poison that could never kill the man in front of you.

"It exists" a few seconds had passed and despite his perfect composure, you noticed how it had taken him time to respond.

"So...Joker" the gelid atmosphere that seemed to surround you before, faded away under the satisfying rainbow of his new presence.

"Hello, stranger" and a smile, the one you rarely saw but that always stopped your heart in the same way, appeared on his made-up face. You reciprocated that smile, feeling the weight of your sagging shoulders, lighten considerably.

"Has anyone ever told you that red is your color?" you knew Arthur would have stuttered at such a direct flirtation, but Joker not only appreciated it but boasted of it.

"Yes, several times, but not the mouth I wanted" his movements were more free, flamboyant, with the elegance of one who has been himself and without reserve all his life. It was almost reminiscent of the showmen who did drag. They did it themselves without asking for permission or apologies.

It was something you had always wanted Arthur to have, self-assurance, and now that he had achieved it, he was unstoppable. You liked that.

"You were wonderful with Murray" you admitted, now the one blushing was you. It was something you'd wanted to tell him ever since he'd appeared on the screen. Without the painful laughter, or his shyness and awkwardness. Just the most handsome, graceful man you'd ever seen. "I didn't know you had those moves," you shortened the distance, running your hands over his impeccable suit.

"And that was just the beginning...are you interested, Y/N?" and under that predatory gaze, as alluring as it was dangerous, you kissed him, wanting with all your might to end up smeared with his makeup.

"Good boy" he whispered against your lips. His hand intertwined with yours, tightly. You knew you were safe, warm, and finally, with the one who made you happy. Also, you wore now red lips and white cheeks.

"Don't ever walk away from me again" you paused, looking at him with such intensity you might as well want to read his mind.

"Never. I promise" he bowed to you as you had only seen fairy tale royalty do and smiling at you, he took you into the safety of his arms.

[yaomomvs]

TAKE OUR HAND

seijoh x manager!reader

in which aoba johsai vbc just wants you to take their hand, just as the many times they have reached for yours when they needed it

pls i’m sorry i just wrote this for comfort, in having a terrible week and so, i just really need my seijoh boys to comfort me even if it’s just in my head and just so you know, and as i’ve been trying to convince myself, things always get better

tuesday, [15:56 pm]

“nice kill yahaba senpai!��� kindaichi congratulates his upperclassman.

his voice makes you react, it scared you. still holding your pen and the notebook you always carry around even on normal practice days, your hand threatens you in the most scary way possible.

fuck no, just... breathe.

you are quick to leave aside the notes, and so, you look around to the boys, who just after the coach’s whistle sounds they are quick to approach your spot.

you take the water bottles as quickly as you can.

“oh y/n-san, i know we are irresistible but you can’t just slack off admiring us!” makki teases you laughing.

“if our dear manager is admiring someone is obviously me” oikawa says, before taking a sip of his bottle, slightly making you blush even more.

“i don’t think she likes idiots who still watch youtube conspiracy videos at 3am”

“iwa!”

“weren’t you the one with a secret obsession for romance manga, iwaizumi?” it’s mattsun time to expose his friend. iwai mi doesn’t hesitate and he runs directly to matsukawa, while kunimi brings out his phone to start recording the chaos in the gym.

you don’t listen.

your head hurts, and then, you once again feel this weird thing in you stomach. you have been feeling like this for the past week, and you try to ignore it . but sometimes, you just want the world to stop.

you can’-

“y/n senpai?” watari calls your name, and you notice his furrowed brows looking at you, worried. you blink and correct your posture. you had just zooned out. “is everything ok?”

“ah yes watari kun!” you force your self to sound relaxed because you feel the sudden gaze of the entire team “i was just thinking in a smart way to insult oikawa, but i’m worried he won’t understand tho”

“hey! you said i was your favorite”

you fake laugh once again assuring everyone that you were just fine. the day goes on, and somehow is becomes more difficult to just stay down not worrying about anything.

and they notice.

you don’t walk home with the guys today. instead you run to the bus not before excusing yourself with an ‘urgent family thing’

“just please don’t let makki eat so much ramen today!” you giggle as you run to the bus “i’m not in the mood to dealing with diarrea!”

“that was a secret between us darling!” the pink haired guy screams cheeks blushing.

and maybe you were just too distracted, but before you face them away some of them notice how quick your smile fades.

“you know guys” yahaba is quick to say “call me crazy but, why did she lie?”

—

wednesday, [10:22 am]

when was the last time you actually enjoyed school? not practice, but school itself. seeing numbers everyday in the board that you don’t understand is frustrating. your throat hurts, there’s has been a not there since the begging of the day.

swallow it, y/n, dammit

you decided to take this class, don’t blame the world, blame yourself. isn’t it supposed to be simple? why isn’t it being simple? is that... 

"Square root of 57 is equal to Xo, miss" 

"alright!" 

it is not like it’s a race, you want to say. why was the teacher obsessed with speed?, it’s unfair. your time is not the same as that of others. 

you drop the pencil and you recline in your chair, why couldn’t you do operations and analysis as fast as they could? you take a look around and the eyes of others look frightening. you see ambition, you see security, you see admiration.

the bell rings and you just want to run, and well in a way you end up doing it. leaving your homeroom, you tell your friends that for today you want to be alone, the halls of aoba johsai are big, for your fortune or misfortune. you go to the vending machine and when your drink falls, the minimum noise makes you startle, lately it’s like that, small noises or actions affect you way too much.

and iwaizumi notices it.

you don’t make a single move, it’s just the cold drink resting on your hands. and before iwaizumi could stop mattsun, he was already putting his hand on your shoulder.

“y/n!”

the orange juice spills and once again fear takes hold of you.

you see them both, you’re not stupid and you know hajime stares at you weirdly, and now mattsun, you hide your fear it a bit worse than yesterday, but you do anyways.

"someday, Matsukawa-san, YOU’RE GOING TO KILL ME! and what will you do without me?" you try to say cheerful, wanting to take away the suspicion, for a moment it works.

"flunk history, that leads me to..." 

"no, sweeheart, i won’t give you my homework" 

you walk and both guys follow you, one faster than another, very naive of the situation. "I begin to believe you hate me," says Mattsun, as the three sit on a bench near the school cafeteria casually encountering kunimi who quickly joins you, patting the folds of your skirt as you sit down, you rest on the table and admire his needy expression and as the tantrum of mattsun grows.

minutes go by, your chest pain grows, but somehow you know how to let it go.

 with your hands supporting your face, lunch passes between you and kunimi, you try to talk, you really try. 

but still, your eyes just glow, and kunimi notices how it’s not the glow you always have.

—

thursday [12:03]

your head is spinning, you can feel the cold sweat. will this be the time? why do you feel so small? why can’t you say it?

it’s familiar, you recognize this feeling, an ocean, you’re floating, you know you can swim, but, you’re in the middle of nowhere, you look down. Out of nowhere the intimidating depth of the ocean is beneath you. And then, you sink. You feel like you’re drowning, you feel like you’re fighting the tide, but you just can’t do it.

i just need...

no, it’s not time yet, it’s still training. the boys... you’re the one who should take care of them, you’re the one who has to be be fine. they had no time to lose, they had a goal and for the moment that was the most important thing.

On that bench, your gaze is absent, you know it is so.

and through the window that overlooks your classroom, oikawa notices it too

“y/n...” he mumbled.

of course he’d noticed. at first it was not so clear, but now he remembers.

when kindaichi pinned your dark circles to him, while admiring you by fitting volleyballs in a way not of your own.

makki watches oikawa from your side, you don’t even know the pink-haired guy is there, unaware that he’s sitting next to you. but he notices. he’s been noticing for days that your eyes are threatening to close in the middle of class.

hanamaki catches your attention and instantly that mask you’ve been wearing for weeks appears again.

"hanamaki, i’m fine"

it doesn’t convince them. they both look out the window and nod.

oikawa notices, and god, he wished he had no reason to.

—

friday [14:00 pm]

breathe.

please just... breathe.

you’re fed up. the feeling of guilt and discomfort is still there, can’t you be calm? people don’t need to know, but why do you want to shout it?

the dressing room is alone, the girls from the soccer team are out and it’s your only chance.

the team needs you, hold on a little.

your footsteps are heard in the hallway once again, a symphony you’re tired of listening to.

your chest hurts, your heart is aching, but you just need a little more. hands are shaking, the cold in your body, you need to stop.

you have to make them stop.

but when you walk into the gym, even with your eyes down, all you feel is warm. and it’s because, the boys were standing, aligned begging for you.

no, they beg for your sake.

and everything stops.

one hand from him on your neck, and one hand around your shoulders.

because oikawa, without warning, now has you in his arms.

and then, only then, you break.

tears don’t take long to come out, along with desperate sobs. your legs fail and out of nowhere, you and oikawa are on your knees.

with an alarmed look, the whole club runs towards both, surrounding you as sensibly as possible.

"i’m sorry, i’m sorry I’M SORRY" is heard from you, between hiccups.

“love, listen...” iwaizumi approaches you,somehow he managed to catch up with you, somehow he managed to hold your hand.

"i promise i didn’t want to, but i can’t, i can’t anymore, why can’t i? i try and i try and i keep trying but it’s never enough! IM TIRED OF SEEING SOMETHING AND NOT BEING ABLE TO PROCESS IT LIKE THE OTHERS. I’M TIREDD OF NEVER FULFILLING WHAT I SHOULD”

yahaba’s heart aches, and just as most of the team, is shocked.

your hands, oh your adorable hands, those hands that bandage his in the middle of an important game, he sees them shaking horribly between iwaizumi’s.

“AND I’M SCARED, WHAT IF I LOSE YOU BECAUSE OF THAT BECAUSE OF ME? BECAUSE OF HOW I AM I-“

watari is quick to place your hair gently behind your ear, a kunimi covers you with his jacket.

“I LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND I DONT RECOGNIZE MYSELF” you lower your voice, its cracked now “oikawa I don’t recognize myself, I want to be me again" you whisper, and a knot appears in the captain’s throat, and he puts a hand on your cheek "please... just let me be me again" your throat burns, your eyes get redder.

the gym goes silent, your words still echoing in everyone’s head.

“why didn’t you-“

“i just couldn’t” you blame yourself cutting oikawa off “look at us! we are waisting time on me when we should be- i’m the one who has to- im you support not-“

“hey hey, love...” iwaizumi whispers his voice is filled with sweetness, letting you sit correctly and softly rubbing his thumb in your hands “how many times have you been there for us? y/n your hand is always there”

“that’s true” kyotani says, finally saying something, emotions overwhelmed him a lot, but he genuinely wanted to help you.

“there’s something about you, there’s light” kindaichi follows up.

“no matter where, or how bad we are, somehow you always are helping us stand up” mattsun also tries to carefully approach you, he wants nothing more for you to feel safe.

and oikawa’s arms were still around you. he never stopped.

“we have reached your hand so many times, so now it’s time for you to please take ours” oikawa holds you face, and you see the sincerity and kindness behind his brown eyes, it feels like home.

mattsun does a sign asking the coach for a day off, both of them smile tenderly at you and give the green flag. iwa and makki are next to hold you carefully helping you stand up. they help you stop shaking but it’s mad dog the one who wipes your tears away with a tissue watari handled him. still not knowing if he did it the right way. you still feel kunimi’s scent. you still see kindaichi holding your school bag making sure nothing is missing. yahaba is the one bringing you water. and oikawa still refuses to let you go.

all of them feel like home.

“thank you”

and that’s how you know everything is going to feel fine.

because this club was yours and you were theirs.

this was home.

[fangirlstorycreator]

Hey Bestie 🤗Your request with Terry taking care of his girlfriend while she's on her period gave me an idea. And yes it is a Taligaro request again, I'm sorry🙈 So let's say we're part of his army, a very skilled fighter but someday he notices us being in pain. We're trying to hide it from him and the other soldiers cause none of them has to deal with that and we don't want to be a burden just because of our period. But he comes to our tent at night and wants to know what's going on cause he's worried about us. What would he do and how would he react when we're telling him? Take all the time you need 🙏 Love you Bestie 🖤 🖤 🖤

Omg yes! I love this request bestie! Dont be sorry, I love writing about Taligaro 😁 I hope you like it, love you too bestie 💚💚💚

Even though you were one of the strongest and most skilled members of Taligaro's army, at the end of the day you were still a woman, and unfortunately that meant having to go through things that the men didnt have to. You had always suffered with your cramps during your time of the month, and most of the time you were able to hide the pain, and sometimes sooth yourself with a pain relief called milk of the poppy, a liquid remedy to keep pain away. But today, you had ran out, and as the army was on the move, you had to suffer in silence.

You had traveled most of the day on your horse along with the rest of the army, with Taligaro up near the front of the group. The other men didnt know about yours and Taligaro's secret relationship, you had both been in love since you joined the army, and were always spending time together away from the men. You both weren't ready to announce it to the men, so you carried on away from them, and were always happy to spend time together, weather it was just talking, hanging out or being intimate.

As he was busy today getting the army to the next point to camp up, he hadn't realised how much pain you were in, it was like someone punching you from the inside out, and without your pain relief, it was harder to hide it away. It was night fall when you all arrived at the campsite, As the general, the lord of the land we had arrived at had let him stay in one of the luxurious rooms in part of his castle. He was talking to this lord when everyone, including you were getting off your horses and unloading your bags. That's when out of the corner of his eye, he spots you in the distance next to your horse.

Your holding your stomach and you look like your close to tears. "Excuse me my lord, but is there space in this room for one more? I would like to bring a guest with me" "Of course general, just one though" "Thank you my lord" They end their conversation and Taligaro walks straight up to you. "Y/N, what's wrong? Are you hurt?" "Tal I'm fine, dont worry" "Maybe I wouldn't worry if you hadn't just lied to me with visible tears in your eyes, clutching at your body in pain and your face as white as snow. Now tell me what is wrong, are you hurt?" You exhale out deeply and look home in the eye. "I'm not hurt Tal, it's just that...I'm going through my time of the month. With all the travelling we have been doing I haven't been able to get any milk of the poppy to help with the pain and....I didnt want to worry you"

He looks at you with such guilt. "Y/N why didnt you say anything? I didnt want you to suffer in silence like that, especially all day. And with being stuck travelling on the horses, god I'm sorry Y/N" "Theres nothing for you to apologise for Tal, I'll be ok" "You say that as you look like your going to pass out. Now come with me, I'll grab your things" He takes your bag over one shoulder and guides you into the castle with the lord. "My lord, this is my guest Y/N. Now I was wondering if you have any milk of the poppy in any of your storage that we could use please?" "Of course general, I will get one of my men to retrieve some for you and bring to your quarters"

A few minutes later, you and Taligaro are walking into the room that was given to him. It was beautiful, warm and very clean. You had been used to sleeping on bed rolls for weeks, so it was a wonderful suprise to see a very large bed covered in soft throws. You start to unpack a few essentials when the door knocks, and Taligaro answers it. "Good evening general, my lord told me that you had requested milk of the poppy" "Yes, thank you" He says politely as he takes the small vial from the man, that's when he takes you delicately by the hand and sits you down on the bed with him. "Hear my dear, you need it" Taking the vial, you drink the milk and let out a sigh of relife" "Thank you Tal, i dont know what I'd do without you. Now all I have to do is wait until it kicks in"

"How long does it take?" "About an hour, but once it starts working, I wont have to take it again for another day or so" "But your going to be in pain for another hour? I don't like the thought of that, what can I do to help?" He asks sweetly as he rests his hand against your cheek, and you rest your hand against his wrist, stroking him with your thumb. "Tal I will be ok, you have already helped me with the milk of poppy" Thats when an idea pops into his head. "I know what to do! You wait there my dear" He says before giving you a quick kiss on the lips. He runs out of the room, and when he comes back a few minutes later, he looks very happy. "Where did you go Tal?" "To do something just for you. Now bring your towel and a change of clothes, follow me"

You grab your things and he guides you to a large room that looks like a sauna, with steam and the smell of coconut in the air, and built into the floor is a large bath filled with essential soaps and hot water. "We are guests hear after all, and I requested a bath to be run for you. Now you take all the time you need and I shall be waiting in our room" He tells you before turning away, but you stop him and give him a tender kiss. "Your are the sweetest man I have ever met, thank you" "Anything for you my dear" He gives you another kiss before leaving the room and letting you get undressed. You walk down the steps into the bath and the heat of the water, and the smell of the soaps engulf your senses and make you feel amazing. The heat is melting away the pain and the smell is making you feel so relaxed.

You were so happy that Taligaro was this fussed over you, and that just made you love him even more. About an hour later, the pain had gone, you were nice and clean, and you had dried off and got dressed, heading back to the room. When you went in, Taligaro was helping himself to a large food trey that one of the castles men had delivered for you both, so you walked over to him and gave him a high from behind. "Are you feeling better my dear?" "Yes I am, thank you again for this, it means a lot to me" "Of course, anything for you. Now lets get you something to eat. And by the way, I have another milk of the poppy hear, ready for when you need to take some more" You just cant get over how sweet he is to you, you give him another kiss before you both tuck into your food.

A few hours later, your feeling very tired, and Taligaro is lying on the bed. So he smiles warmly at you, takes you by the hand and pulls you in for a cuddle, with your head resting on his chest and his arms are wrapped around you. He starts to run his fingers through your hair as your eyes begin to close, and before you know it, your fast asleep. Taligaro can see you sleeping peacefully in his arms, so he wraps the blanket around you both, and kisses your forehead before whispering "No matter what, I will always protect you"

[littlefreya]

Hi Freya! How are you? I was wondering if I could have an advice?

I come from a very religious and close-minded family but have always supported me in my studies/work, I was living with my parents and even was still a virgin until I got the opportunity to travel to another country for work, the company I work needed someone with experience who could speak the language so I took it, here I met a guy, he was married but his wife passed away and they had a son (who is 8 now), this guy also has a daughter who is 3 but he never married his mother, they weren't even dating they were a "we are both horny so we keep f*cking but bot committing to each other" kinda thing, he gave his daughter his last name and takes care of her, this guy and I started dating (without my family knowing) and after a while he took me to meet both his children and they are wonderful, his son asked permission to call me mom and I swear it's the cutest thing ever, his daughter calls me by my name but is very sweet, I honestly hated my life and myself and since Im with this guy I feel happy, free and loved, I don't have those sad thoughts I used to and for the first time in my life I dont feel like I have to be perfect but then I decided to tell my parents about it and they went absolutely insane, completely against our relationship and said that if I stay with him they won't talk to me or let me stay at the apartment I'm living (that belongs to them), my boyfriend doesn't know, also the mother of his daughter absolutely hates me and every time we see each other other she insults me nonstop because she says she should be the one in a relationship with Michel and the once he wants to live with and someday marry not me, as she has always been a friend of the family all of his family support her and prefers her over me (of course they are just mean to me when he's not around, if Michel is with me they act as the sweetest people in the planet), his aunt (who raised him and his siblings and is like a mother for him because his parents died in a car crash when he was little) always tells me that Im too young for him (I'm 28 and he's 43) and that a relationship like this is not normal, so now I'm confused, should I talk this with him and try to find a solution or do you think it's just not worth it? I love him and who I'm when when Im with him but everyone (except his son, and his daughter who doesn't understands anything and just wants to play) is against our relationship.

Hey there, my darling. First thing first, apologies it took me a few days to answer, I wasn’t in the right state of mind and wanted to take the time to properly answer.

You said it yourself, you’ve never been this happy in your life, you hated how things were before and since you met him, you feel free to love yourself and to be loved. This is a thing worth cherishing and protecting and it sounds to me that you have a good man right there.

I advise you to be honest and tell him about what you are going through because you shouldn’t keep things bottled up and as your partner, he should know of what you are going through to avoid having any stress between you.

As for your family and his ex… Lao Tzu said it best “Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner”

It sucks that they have to react this way, especially since you are 28, an adult woman who is in a happy loving relationship. I wouldn’t bother with his ex because it sounds like she is just jealous and angry and people like that won’t come around but as for your parents, I would tell them politely that this is it; this guy makes you happy, he is a good person and you love one another. They should he happy for their daughter.

I hope things work out, but also please remember to always prioritise your own happiness rather than trying to fulfil anyone else’s demands. We only get one shot at this life make the best out of it and be kind to the ones who deserve it.

[hjazysol]

I also just finished fairy tail. And what I have to say is its perfectly fine imo. Theres no death in the main guild of characters but to say theres no death at all was not accurate. Though Makarov escaping death 3 whole times is bullshit.

The first time in the middle of Battle of Fairy Tail was a relief. The second of not being left to die by Acnologia wasn't what I expected with Laxus coming back and being referred to as his successor but it was fine. But the 3rd time. HE WAS SPENT. HE NUKED A WHOLE ARMY AND WAS LITERALLY A DUSTY ASS CORPSE FOR THE REST OF THE FINAL ARC. BUT THEN HE JUST. Woke Up.

Old man lucky. Man I better get that lucky someday. Makarov out here cheating.

The character designs are all rad and the characters themselves that you get to spend all the time with are really likeable and fun. Juvia is god. And the artsyle is really good especially in the manga. Which is what I'm reading now for the 100 Years Quest portion since there's currently no anime adaptation though one is apparently coming.

Fanservice is not at all a factor for me for anything on whether it makes it worse or not because fanservice never bothers me from the start. If its there its there. I'm just here for the plot and action :p

If I had to pick a favourite arc then it's probably either the Grand Magic Games, the Oracion Seis or Tenrou Island.

It has Dragon's.

Dragons are cool.

It also has Erza.

And Erza is cool

I feel like in terms of development. Every regularly involved character gets the same amount. But I'd say Gray's is the best simply on how it's structured and that his conflict from so long ago keeps finding a way to just fuck him up in the present day.

Like when he gets turned into a kid and experiences his trauma's as if they were happening right then and there. I felt that. His interaction with his dad was really sad to.

He has ice.

He quite literally is cool.

His last name is fucking Fullbuster. That's a coolass name!

His stripping gag is also funny.

Back before I watched either. I would always see people either saying one of the following. Sakura from Naruto & Lucy in Fairy Tail are both useless characters.

I can see why alot of people don't at all like Sakura because it's pretty understandable. Pre Timeskip she's kinda just there for the comedy & doesn't really get as involved as much as Naruto or Sasuke.

But I dont really see the need for her to. Back then anyway. She always came of as just the support character and being more stable at handling chakra and that was enough for me. Now post timeskip she can throw hands, she beats ass while also still remaining as that supporting character.

Who with a lack of their own personal like backstory no jutsu style struggle reacts to what Naruto and Sasuke do respectively and watching that was honestly really nice. And is a definite improvement from just a typical smart girl with an emo boy crush. No shade at Sasuke by the way he's fire

Now with Lucy. I just. Don't see it at all in anyway at all. Like she literally does so much throughout the whole of the story. It's not like she's just standing around letting the others do everything. Is it because she's the most emotional member?

Is that a bad thing? Last I checked character struggle and growth is a good thing. Like she's just a kind hearted person with strong ambition, the relationship between her and her spirits alone is enough to show that. Virgo is the best she's funny. The scene where she had to bite down and say bye to Aquarius to summon the C. Spirit King just so she would be able to continue fighting back against the Demon's ALONE, PLUS to save everyone.

She even trains and gets stronger alongside the spirits to finding new ways so she can be even more useful. It's great watching basically the underdog of the Guild at the beginning grow this much and so often. I wouldn't be surprised if she became a Godess by the end honestly... ...It would essentially mean Fairy Tail has one of everything. They have 4 Dragon's. And 3 Demons (I'm counting Freed in that cause with the one demon magic move he has). She's also just really funny and charming.

If I had to go about the series in way of pacing. The first season was perfect the second was way slower and the third was in the middle. 1 & 3 are also way more colourful. 2 was kinda desaturated for no reason.

And once again Juvia is God she's so damn insane & bizarre and I love her for it.

[ssamie]

seven. STARGAZING

suna rintaro x fem! mitsuri reader

(kny x hq)

warnings: spelling mistakes,  3k+ words, italicized words/ sentences are her thoughts, mitsuri’s hair+eye color was used.

gen masterlist.      sakura mochi.

"why the hell is that brat crying?!" sanemi exclaimed in irritation as he threw a pillow at y/n's head

"ara~ dont be so insensitive, shinazugawa-kun" shinobu cooed at him "y/n-chan here had just been recently put into the 'friendzone', as she calls it" she said

"hah? that's it?" sanemi scoffed "i know someone who's been at it for years. atleast he's not bawling his eyes out like a child" 

"w-who is it, sanemi-kun?" she sniffled lightly as she raised her head from shinobu's lap "heh." sanemi sneered as he eyed obanai who has been glaring him down for the past few minutes "its that snake fucker-" 

oabani cut him off by quickly kicking him away, making sanemi's body hit the wall with a loud thud, leaving cracks onto the concrete upon contact. "you shouldn't listen to him." obanai said to her "he's just messing with you" 

obanai walked over to her side, taking her away from shinobu and situating her on his lap. 

"ara ara~ have fun you two" shinobu cooed at them as she walked away. but of course, not before sending a jab towards giyuu. "ara~ i bet you're wondering what that's like. right, tomioka-san?" she asked mockingly 

"well you better stop wondering since it's never gonna happen anyways" shinobu laughed "its not like anyone likes you here" 

giyuu didn't react, and simply stared stoicly at her. "im not disliked by people." he said. 

"whatever helps you sleep at night" shinobu cooed as she waved him off

"now.." obanai trailed off "who made you cry like this?" he asked "i'll kill them." he said, as kaburamaru hissed in agreement 

she sulked and slouched back onto his chest, playing with her hair as obanai rested his chin on her shoulders "well, i don't want you to kill suna-kun" she hummed 

"how would he become my husband if he dies?" 

silence. absolute silence. everyone in the room looked at each other before turning ghostly pale, looking nervously at obanai before innocently whistling and pretending to mind their own business. 

"your- your what?" obanai stammered as he let out a shaky laugh 

"my husband" she answered with a huff 

"i've been searching for so long, and who would've guessed i'd find him through highschool!" she squealed 

"ara ara~ b-but you said you were looking for a man stronger than you, y/n-chan" shinobu cooed out with a sheepish laugh 

"i doubt that suna person fits that description" giyuu commented 

she then suddenly perks up and shakes her head with a smile on her face. "nope! but suna-kun makes me so weak when he smiles or talks or blinks or sleeps or breath near me!!" she squeals 

"i feel like turning into a puddle when he talks! a puddle!!" she said 

she laid on the ground in a starfish position with a dreamy look on her face, "like this!" she said as to emphasise her point 

"i see! he sounds like a flamboyant man, indeed!" uzui exclaimed with a grin 

"w-well...i guess all you can do is hope he returns your feelings someday" obanai muttered "if he doesn't then im sure there's still someone out there who would happily love and care for you" he said 

"haha! simply marry one, two, or three flamboyant men you lay your eyes on!" uzui exclaimed with a laugh "im pretty sure you're the only one here who would want three lovers all at the same time" giyuu muttered 

"how unflamboyant of you, tomioka!" uzui sneered 

y/n looked back at obanai and curiously cocked her head to the side, "it's so weird.."

"how could you know so much about topics like these, obanai-kun?" she asked 

"how could i not." obanai mumbled bitterly as a gloomy aura surrounded his form. 

suddenly, a loud thumping of feet caught all the hashiras' attentions. the door slammed open, revealing a very frantic nezuko. she ran towards the love hashira and hid herself under her haori. 

"nezuko-chan?" y/n muttered curiously as she peeked under her haori to look down at the girl. "hmm" nezuko hummed back through her muzzle. 

suddenly, two sets of footsteps followed. as well as loud screaming. 

"nezuko-chaaannnn~" zenitsu cooed loudly "come here, nezuko-chan~" 

"zenitsu! leave her alone already!" tanjiro exclaimed in a frantic tone as he tried to hold zenitsu back "nezuk- aCK! WHAT IS THIS?! IS THIS HEAVEN?!" zenitsu shrieked as he caught sight of the hashira holding the girl in her arms 

"zenitsu! cut it out! let's go!" tanjiro scolded him as he dragged the blond away "NO NO! I WANNA SEE NEZUKO-CHAN AND Y/N-SENPAIII!!!" zenitsu wailed as tanjiro ushered him out of the room 

"leave it zenitsu! let's go eat so you can calm down" tanjiro said with a sigh 

"WAIT! I WANNA JOIN YOU!!" y/n yelled as she hurriedly ran after the two 

"wait-" obanai's words were ignored, seeing as she was already out the door, leaving a trail of dust behind her "i was gonna tell her she didn't have any money." obanai mumbled as he glanced at her bag, which was situated by the corner of the room. 

"hmm, mhhm" nezuko hummed as she sat herself beside sanemi 

"dont sit next to me, you eyesore" sanemi scowled "there's plenty of space there by tomioka!" 

"ara~ it seems even nezuko-chan doesn't like tomioka-san after all" shinobu cooed in pity "how sad." 

"shut up, woman." 

"ahhh, this is so good~" she said with a content sigh as she practically inhaled the bowl of ramen "tanjiro-kun, we should eat out together more often" she said "you seem to know a lot of good restaurants" 

tanjiro smiled and waved his hands dismissively, nodding his head as he placed more food into her plate. "its no big deal, y/n-senpai. i used to come here with nezuko a lot" he said "and, we should definitely eat together more often!" he said with a smile as sparkles seemed to surround him 

'my god.' she breathed in and out 

'tanjiro is so cute! and so nice! he would definitely make a good husband!' she thought to herself 

'and zenitsu..' she trailed off, her eyes slowly averting towards the blond 

'zenitsu is so.. SCARY?! WHAT'S WITH THAT FACE?!' 

she smiled shakily as she caught sight of zenitsu's grim expression, paired along with a glare as he mumbled angrily to himself "what's bothering you zenitsu-kun?" she asked him 

"what's bothering me? what's bOTHERING ME?!?" he shrieked "I SHOULD BE THE ONE SITTING NEXT TO YOU, Y/N-SENPAI! BUT INSTEAD THAT FOREHEAD BOY TOOK MY SPOT!" zenitsu scowled 

"AND YOU!" tanjiro jumped as zenitsu pointed an accusing finger to his face "YOU'VE BEEN STEALING MY THUNDER, HAVEN'T YOU?! YOU'VE BEEN TALKING HER UP SO SHE WOULDN'T BE MY WIFE! YOU'RE SO CRUEL!!" zenitsu exclaimed 

tanjiro blinked in shock as he cluelessly shook his head in response "i wasn't doing anything like that!" he said 

"YES YOU WERE!!" zenitsu screamed in aggravation "now im definitely gonna be left alone. to die. to rot. to reencarnate as a miserable snail that never finds a mate!" 

tanjiro sweat dropped as he gave zenitsu a weirded out glare "what are you even talking about?" 

"ah, but look at it this way, zenitsu!" she chimed in "by sitting across from me, it's like we're on a date! that's usually how it goes with couples, you know?" she cooed as she placed her hands on top of his 

zenitsu paled as his eyes repeatedly dart from her and their hands. "a-a date?" he squeaked out 

"oh well... something like that" she chuckled nervously, not at all used to the blond being this quiet 

"i see." zenitsu stated in an unusually serious tone. "tanjiro." he turned to look at the burgundy-haired boy. "i can now die in peace. my life, dreams and goals are fulfilled. i can die a happy man." 

"what are you talking about?" tanjiro sweat dropped 

just then, a distinctive sound of a bell rang, signalling that a person had entered the doors. she looked back to see who has entered, all while still munching on a piece of meat and ignoring zenitsu, who was currently practicing his wedding vows. 

"suna-kun?" she subconsciously called out as she  recognised the person to be none other than suna rintarou himself

"oh, hey bunny" suna sent her a nod as he trudged into the restaurant, carrying a skateboard with him. 

"suna-kun!! hi! what are you doing here?" she asked him "im picking up some food for later" he answered mindlessly as he walked towards her table

"oh hey.." suna nodded at tanjiro and zenitsu.

"hi, are you a friend of y/n-senpai?" tanjiro asked with a kind smile "friend? more like a leech. he's interrupting my time with her!!" zenitsu whispered to tanjiro

"uh, yeah. she's also our manager" suna answered unbotheredly despite feeling zenitsu's glare on him

tanjiro looked at y/n, who seemed to be too immersed in suna's face at the moment, given that she was staring lovingly at him with lovesick eyes. "y/n-senpai, i think zenitsu and i need to go back to the dojo" tanjiro said with a soft laugh. he gripped zenitsu's haori as he forced the blond to stand and walk away despite his protests. 

"eh? really?" she asked them, "oh well.. okay.." 

"i guess i'll just pay for your guys' meals then!" she clasped her hands in delight as she pulled out a wallet from her pocket "oh no, it seems ive taken the wrong wallet" she hummed in feign innocence

she shrugged and made a shushing motion to the boys "oh well. don't tell giyuu-san~" she cooed 

"we won't!!" tanjiro exclaimed as he waved her goodbye. she waved them off, watching their figures disappear with a smile on her face. she laughed softly as she heard zenitsu's distant screams.

"that was cute" suna snickered "didn't know your friends were that nice. unlike that bandaged dude" 

she smiled apologetically at him and sighed "sorry about obanai-kun.. it takes a while to get on his good side, i suppose" she said "but hes a very nice person. you just gotta be patient with him" she said 

"i don't think i have the patience for that" suna yawned 

"anyways, sushi or tempura?" he asked "why are you asking me?" she asked 

"well, you're gonna be eating with me so might as well let you pick" he said with a nonchalant shrug. she blinked dumbly at him as she watched him start to skim through the menu "wait- why would i be eating with you??" 

"well usually, when guys take a girl out for dinner, they'd be eating right?" suna said with a chuckle 

'take me out.. ME?! AND HIM?!'  she panicked 

'DINNER?! but i already ate..' she looked down at her stomach, and sweat dropped upon feeling it rumble 

'nevermind.. im still hungry' she thought to herself 

"u-uhm.. sushi?" she answered with slight hesitance "sushi it is" suna said with a nod as he proceeded to order. 

'ahshhsjsj!!! is this a date?! am i out of the 'friendzone'?? ' she thought 

"good thing i have you with me. or else i'll have to invite tsumu out instead" suna gagged "that piss head's been testing me lately." he said "so i'd much rather spend time with my best friend" he said in a teasing tone, nudging her with his elbow as he laughed 

"a-ah.. yes.. right" she responded. she smiled blankly as she stared at the air before her, slowly feeling herself wither away into nothingness. 

"here you are, sir! takeout order for sushi!" the waitress announced as she placed the paper bag on the table "that was fast" suna mumbled as he paid her the amount

"ah thank you! sir and maam-" the waitress sweat dropped as she made eye contact with the pink and green haired girl. the lady was well aware that she had already eaten a full course meal a few moments prior. she had personally watched her inhale three bowls of ramen and two plates of pudding. though she still let her be. 

"anyways. i was heading to the skatepark, let's eat there" suna said "i didnt know you skate, suna-kun" she said with a soft smile as her eyes raked down his form 

'ahh, hes looking especially good with a sketeboard..' she thought to herself 

'he looks so cool' she squealed internally 

'calm down, calm down' she thought as she eased her erratic breathing down 

"its just a hobby i guess" suna shrugged as he stretched his arms over his head "i could even teach ya if ya want" suna said with a small smirk as he handed her the board 

her eyes landed on the board with a glimmer of curiosity. she smiled nervously and nodded "sure! though, I'd probably fall a lot.." she muttered 

"dont worry, i'll catch you" 

----

"y/n- y/n please just trust me" suna said with a grunt "it's not that bad!" 

"yes it is! it's so-wait suna-kun it's moving!!" she whined as the board skidded ever so lightly. "calm down" suna chuckled, with a strained smile as he felt her already deathly grip tighten even more around his arm 

"okay, how bout this" suna hummed out as he clasped her shoulders in his hands. "if you manage to learn atleast one trick tonight, we can go stargazing or whatever" 

'stargazing with suna.. stargazing.. suna..'  she chanted repeatedly in her head 

wordlessly, she snatched the board and placed it by the ramp, and skated down with ease. "..." suna stared at her from across the ramp as she landed with a flip. 

"so we've been going through hell and back for so long. when this whole time, you could do it all along" suna sighed "i was just motivated!" she exclaimed as she ran towards him 

"by what? stargazing?" suna chuckled as he ruffled her hair with his hand "exactly!" she replied with a bright grin 

suna shook his head with a smile as he led her to a bench, setting down his board on the ground and the bag of sushi between them  "you're just so adorable, aren't ya" suna said in a teasing tone as he playfully rolled his eyes at her 

'AM I?? AM I ADORABLE?!' she panicked 

"so." suna mused "how's your life going, bunny?" 

"ahm, it's nice.." she muttered back shyly as she took a bite of the sushi "how about you, suna-kun?" she asked him "how has your life been going?" suna shrugged and leaned back on the bench, eyes landing on the constellation of stars above them 

"its been normal. not much going on other than recording random fights at school" he said "but it's been fun having you around, bunny" he said as he turned to look at her

only to sweat drop upon seeing her mutter flusteredly to herself, all while her face burns a bright red color 

'he looks so cool and mysterious like that' she thought 

'he has such a pretty side profile!!' she fawned 

'his eyes are all sparkly from the moonlight and stars!!' she basically seethed as she screamed in her head

"hey, you okay?" suna chuckled as he taps on her forehead "uh im fine.." she muttered flusteredly as her eyes crossed to focus on his finger, which was still tapping on her forehead 

"heh, you better be or else im getting my ass beat by the twins" he said jokingly as he crossed his arms over his chest "the twins.." she mumbled, scratching her head as she pondered over a thought that seems to nag at her 

"the twins, the twins,, oh they're waiting for me at home!!" she frantically opened her phone and went to the messaging app. she smiled nervously as she was greeted with over a hundred texts from the two boys 

"ah.. i forgot about the movie night tsumu-kun proposed.." she chuckled sheepishly as she sunk down on the seat out of guilt "hm.. let's go then" suna said as he held his hand out for her to take 

"im in the mood to crash your guys' movie night" suna chuckled as he pulled her up to her feet

'ADJSFHJKL HANDS HANDS HANDS!!' she panicked 

she looked at their loosely intertwined hands. his grip was quite loose, almost not even there in the first place. his fingers tangled nicely with hers as they walked. it was a cliche she had never thought she'd experience. walking hand in hand with the person you admire under the moon and stars. 

'he's so warm..' she thought as she felt the slightest bit of body heat getting transferred onto her 

"alright. get ready to run, bunny" suna teased as his hand moved to grip her wrist "if you're too slow, i won't be comin' back for you" he taunted playfully as he started running while dragging her along

"okay! i'll run in full speed!" she huffed back with a  smile of determination as she pried his hand off her wrist and went to grip his instead 

"wait wait. not full speed. y/n-" suna chuckled nervously as he tried to plant himself down on the ground with his feet 

he was well aware that her body was simply built different, if anything. her speed, stamina, and strength was enough to make a grown man cry, and frankly, he was in no mood to deal with that at the moment. 

"okay, suna-kun! let's go!" she exclaimed as she started running 

"wait waIT WAIT-" 

-----

"welcome home, y/n" osamu greeted her with a small smile as he ushered the girl into the fort they had made 

"and goodbye suna" he said to the brunette before he could even step onto the porch "oi! let me in!" suna said with a grunt as he blocked the door from closing with his foot "i didnt go through all that for nothing" suna muttered as he waltzed inside their home uninvited 

"oi sunarin!! how dare you hog y/n-chan to yerself?!" atsumu snarled as he went to kick suna on the back "shut up you blond bitch" suna scowled as he threw a random pillow at atsumu's face 

"tch" atsumu scoffed childishly the blond then blinked curiously as a snicker went past his lips "oi sunarin, yer pussy bangs are looking worse than usual" atsumu laughed "what happened to ya?" 

"we ran so fast i think the wind split my skull open" suna groaned as he went to fix his hair "ara~ but i slowed down so you wouldn't be so tired, suna-kun" she said with a tone of concern 

"you slowed down? that was slow for you?" suna scoffed in disbelief 

"well anyways, i have something to tell ya, y/n-chan!" atsumu beamed as he slung his arm around her shoulder "i was supposed to tell you this, but that was before suna stole ya from me!!" atsumu hissed at the brunette 

suna didn't reply, but simply flipped the blond off in response. "what is it, tsumu-kun?" she asked him as she discarded herself of her haori "i want ya to meet a friend of mine tomorrow" he said 

"oh that's nice! i'd love to meet them!" she beamed happily "but one thing to consider" atsumu said in a warning tone. he threw a bottle of sanitizer at her and a pack of masks and latex gloves. 

"we gotta make sure yer clean"

[imagine-lcorp]

We The Liars (One Shot)

Request

Okay I dont remember if I had requested it. My internet is bad. I just want angsty one where Lena finds out her girlfriend knew Kara is Supergirl and never told her. It becomes a bit of a mess between them. But it wasnt right for her to just tell Lena. (happy ending pls, I know you can wreck me on angst alone 😂)

A/N:I know I’m not very good at schedules but I’m still around!! Now, here’s another beautigul angsty request for u guys, I hope u enjoy it! and I hope this lives again to your expectations. Love y’all!!!!!

Lena Luthor x Fem!R//Word Count: 2,169 -------------------------------------------------------

They mocked you.

She could still hear her brother's voice.

Humiliated you.

His tongue distilling lies even in his final moments.

Betrayed you.

Every word punctuated in her mind like a blow from a sledgehammer.

Every.

It was bile.

Last.

It was poison.

One.

It was the truth Lena had been so blind to see.

Lena kept looking at the picture of you on her desk, trying to feel nothing as she drank the last of the scotch in her hand. She swallowed the hot woody liquid down and, in a sharp movement, smacked down the glass over the picture. She kept looking at the shattered frame, at your faces and smiles behind the broken glass. Lena had to let out a bitter chuckle as she thought how much that image resembled your relationship. Fake smiles, broken trust. A mirage now shattered by the truth you had been hiding.

Did you know? Of course, you did. Since when? Probably from the beginning. Was it all a scheme? A way to get closer to her? To keep an eye on her? Most certainly. The questions swirled around Lena's mind over and over and over since she had listened to her brother's last confession. They hadn't left her head, accompanying her while she tried to act as if everything was okay. As if she hadn't shot Lex, as if you hand't keep her in the dark about Kara and Supergirl, as if her so-called friends hadn't lied to her face all this time.

Did you even really love her?

That had been the question that bothered her the most. She hadn't been able to put it aside as she recalled every moment spent with you. Every look, every kiss and every touch, every tear and laugh, every word. All the things you had gone through couldn't just be a lie but, the more she though about it, the more she seemed to convince herself of the answer. Did you love her? No, she didn't think you did.

Your relationship had been nothing more than a means to protect Kara. Supergirl. The Girl of Steel and Great Champion of the Earth. From the hands of a Luthor.

Hold your friends close but your enemies closer.

What a fool she had been.

You entered her office as if summoned by her troubled thoughts, locking eyes on her and closing the door behind you, smiling sheepishly as you did. If that smile disarmed her every time before, now it was for her an undeniable sign of your deception. It made her heart shrink while she pushed her mind to go faster. You would not deceive her anymore.

"(Y/N), what are you doing here?" She asked. The tone of her voice never letting any of her internal turmoil show.

"I came to see if you weren't so busy." You approached her desk without losing your smile. "Jess let me in, so I could steal you for a moment or the rest of the evening if possible."

"Weren't you busy with your own home project? I didn't think you would finish it so fast." She leaned further in her chair, raising her chin towards you.

"I got some help." You reached the front of her desk. "Kara came by earlier and helped me with it. We finished it in no time."

"Kara uh? Of course. Always there to help, isn't she?" She saw you frown slightly.

If you hadn't noticed her somehow cold demeanor, now you did.

"Well, you know her."

She turned her chair towards the window at those words and looked at the city skyline, so she wouldn't have to look at you.

"Do I?" Lena couldn't hide the hurt in her words this time.

You were about to walk to her side when you finally noticed what was on her desk. The sight of the empty glass and broken picture made every muscle in your body tense.

It could have been nothing, a slip of the hand, an unfortunate accident. A broken frame meaning nothing but a broken frame. But you couldn't deny the strangeness of it all. Lena's attitude, her reluctance to look at you. You would have wanted to blame it on the alcohol, as it was obvious she had been drinking before you arrived. Even though Lena never drank more than a finger of her scotch and she knew how to hold her alcohol better than most.

Maybe it was the tension from the past days, as you knew they had been quite difficult for her. Having your older brother on the verge of death, only to find later that it was all a scam to give himself superpowers and then die anyway in a last attempt to destroy the Supers, was not something one could recover from so easily. Lena had told you the essentials about what had happened, but the Danvers sisters had filled you in about everything else, seeing as you had been worried to death about Lena and her lack of communication thereafter.

After Alex and Kara explained how things had gone down, it only reaffirmed your belief that a lot of trouble could have been avoided if they had just told Lena what was truly happening. You also didn't like having to keep things from Lena but after such incident, and considering that Kara felt herself responsible for Lex's death, none of you knew how she would react to the truth then. So you agreed to keep Kara's secret for a little longer, believing Kara would tell her everything soon enough.

So you made yourself believe to that maybe this was Lena still trying to come to terms with what she had to go through. That behind her pragmatic and stoic attitude, she wasn't taking things as good as she made it look. Maybe, this time, all she needed was a bit of comfort.

"Lena?" You rounded her desk with careful steps, trying to reach her, but then Lena spoke again and you knew it was none of it.

"All this time." You stopped as you heard her voice, low and harsh. "Did you really think I wouldn't find out?"

"Find out what?" The question coming out slowly from your mouth.

"That Kara has been helping you with her super speed? That she has been indeed helping people by flying around town? That all this time I've been friends with the greatest heroine of National City?" She chuckled and shook her head. "No, not friends."

"You know." You stood motionless, swallowing hard, as Lena turned her chair towards you.

"Yes, I know, (Y/N)." She rose from her seat. Her eyes looking at you with a contained rage, so dangerous it made you flinch and want to look away but you simply couldn't allow yourself to move.

This was what Kara had always feared and you could see now why. Your mind was racing, trying to think of something to say, whatever word that could ease Lena's anger but you knew better. It was useless to try and dodge the conversation, to deny it all and lie again. No, you couldn't keep doing that. Not anymore. Not to Lena.

"Lena, I'm s-"

"Save it." She grabbed her glass from the table and rushed past you to the bar before you could even finish muttering your apology. "I have had enough of those already."

You watched as she lifted a bottle and poured herself another drink. "When did she tell you?"

"Oh, so she was planning on telling me someday?"

"W-wait." You walked towards her, more confused than before. "If Kara didn't tell you then..."

"Does it matter? It wasn't Kara, or Alex, or any of your friends. Or you, anyway." She put the bottle down with a loud thud and grabbed her glass again. "You just knew and lied to me."

"That was never my intention." You tried.

"Your intention? And what was it, (Y/N)?" She turned back to you, taking a generous sip of her scotch and leaving it again at the table bar.

"Wasn't it to keep me from finding the truth? So I didn't know who was behind Supergirl and she could have one less thing to worry about? So she could keep an eye on me and if I turned to be the same as Lex she could stop me right away? Isn't that why you even approached me in the first place?"

"No, no, that's not it." You fumbled over the words. "Please, let me explain."

"Explain what?" Lena could already feel the tears threatening to come from her eyes. "That no matter what I told you about how much it hurt to have someone you love lie and betray you, you were doing exactly that with me."

"I never wanted to do that to you." You took a few unsure steps forward. "I wanted to tell you, may times but it wasn't my secret to tell. I couldn't. I had no right."

"But I had!" She snapped. Her voice filled with an ache and outrage so strong it made you take a step back. "I had the right to know."

"Lena, I know you-"

"No! Whatever you think you know, you don't!" She closed the distance between you. Each step making you feel smaller. "You used me and manipulated me, time after time. I helped you, protected you, proved you over and over that I wasn't like the rest of my family, trying to do better for our friends! For you! Don't you understand what you have done? What I have done?"

All her anger watered down as a couple of tears started to fall down from her eyes.

"God, what I wish I hadn't done." She closed her eyes.

"What do you mean?" You forced the words out, feeling the dread rise in your chest. "Lena, what did you do?"

She opened her eyes again. Her next words loud enough so you could hear. "I killed Lex."

"That's not..." You shook your head, as if the meaning of her words had nor registered in your brain. "Kara said he died after he fell with the Lexosuit. You told me the same. The fall killed him."

"I lied." She said. Realization washed upon you like a bucket of cold water and you felt each word after that like a strike to your guts. "He escaped, and I knew where he would go. I was waiting for him with my gun ready and I...I knew when I saw him that if he lived, you would never be safe. So I forced myself to pull the trigger. I shot my own brother and watched him die believing I was doing the right thing. All while his last words were about you. About how you mocked me, and humiliated and betrayed me."

"No, no." You repeated while looking at Lena, searching frantically for anything that could tell you maybe this was Lena trying to blame herself. But her eyes gave away nothing but the truth. "Lena."

"You lied to me!" She took a step back as you tried to reach her.

"Lena, please." You closed the distance between you, grabbing Lena by the shoulders. "Listen to me."

"Why? Why?" Her voice started to lose its strength as she repeated the question. "Why did you have to lie to me?"

Heartbreaking was a small word to describe what was happening at that moment. You had never seen Lena this way, so broken, and you were to blame for this too.

"Everything I said, everything I didn't, I was a fool for thinking I was too doing the right thing. I know we should have told you. I should have told you. If I had known what would happen I-" You felt your throat tighten. In protecting your friend, you had hurt Lena, who had always proved herself worthy, who had always done the impossible for you and who had lost yet another person she loved. All because you had said nothing. "I should have told you."

"Why does everyone I love lie to me?" Lena couldn't contain the tears anymore.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." You repeated as you pulled her towards you. "Please, please, believe me. Please."

Lena let you pull your arms around her, with your body embracing her in a tight hug that almost seemed to hold her together and let herself cry like never before. She would have wanted to scream, to lash out, at you for lying to her, at your friends for keeping it all a secret, at her brother for using the truth to hurt her.

There was so much she didn't know yet but she decided to find all the answers to all the questions she had. She would know the truth and then, she thought, she could think of what to do next. And then, one question pushed through her mind.

Did you love her?

As you keep holding her, so close she imagined you would merge, Lena wanted to believe you did.

Because how could that be a lie?

[traumatisedbabygay]

ight im gonna go off about the gender crisis again, because its my blog and vent space and i'll do what i want ;)

would i be allowed to label myself as agender, even though i dont experience any gender discomfort? Like, when someone calls me a girl, or says im a sister, daughter, ect, i dont feel uncomfortable. I just feel....indifferent. It doesn't necessarily feel right, but if it felt wrong surely id be feeling more than just mild confusion. agender usually means "genderless", but could it also mean gender...indifferent? Gender...apathetic?

If i were to try and make a comparison so i can better comprehend my thoughts, itd be this. If i were unconscious due to, idk, anaesthesia or something, and then had a surgery performed, id feel nothing. Id feel no pain, no tickling. If when i was still asleep after my mum caressed my face i wouldnt feel comfort. I wouldnt feel anything. Good, bad or neutral. All i would feel would be the dreamscape that the medically induced deep sleep placed me in: abstract. Non definable. One minute in that dream i could be strolling through an enchanted forest, the next I could be falling endlessly. But no matter what happened in those dreams, my physical body would be too out of it to react. Its like my gender identity is in a very deep sleep, feeling nothing objectively but everything abstractly, all at once.

Now lets say those "abstract dreams" in the metaphor was presentation. Most of the time i present very feminine, traditionally. My style is vintage/historical, lots of long skirts and frilly blouses and braided hair. Dressing like that makes me confident, comfortable. But I also really enjoy dressing more masculine. Of course, with super long hair ill always appear somewhat feminine, but wearing waistcoats and vintage trousers and shirts makes me feel confident too. I once said to my nana when i wore a particularly masculine outfit "some days i want to be elizabeth bennet, but somedays i want to be mr darcy". But no matter how feminine or masculine i feel, i dont know how to interpret that as gender. I feel like a girl, if "feeling like a girl" could be defined as "feeling like a vague blur of nothingness". Or am i just equating femininity with girliness. Do i actually just feel feminine, but not "girly".

sjdhskdjdjjddjdjfh why is this so confusing? I genuinely think either agender or genderqueer are labels to consider, even if no label feels better. With the way my brain works, i still need some form of label. but how do i know im not just overthinking things? If i am just, in fact, a cis girl who doesnt understand what that really means?

Surely its not that uncommon an experience? To not be able to recognise what gender feels like. I dont even know what its *meant* to feel like, unlike when i was questioning my sexuality and knew exactly what liking men was meant to feel like bc of my straight friends. Can i call myself a girl for simplicity's sake? It doesnt make me sad or uncomfy, if im being honest it doesnt feel like anything. Could i say im a genderqueer girl? As in, "i'll say im a girl if asked only because the real answer is so fucking complicated and undefined that even I dont know how to word it". As in "i might say im a girl but really my relationship to gender and womanhood is so much more than that. my gender is paradoxial. I both feel and dont feel like something, but i dont even know how to describe that small "something"."

Or would i say im a genderqueer femme? I dont mind being equated with feminitity, but underneath that feminine surface everything is so jumbled and hard to decipher that its easier to just act like a girl and not think about it.

but now ive opened the can of worms. i kinda have to think about it now.

or would i just say, "hey, im (name), my pronouns are she/her but idc if you use anything else, and im......i exist." Because at the end of the day, does it matter that i cant put how i feel into words that feel adequate? Surely just existing, acknowledging that *something* is going on beneath the surface but knowing it doesnt affect me enough to seek out a label, is fine too, right?

god why is this so fucking hard

[cottoncandyjester]

How would your Yandere Ocs react to Y/N enjoy having friends? They are not into having a romantic relationship but they enjoy giving out platonic affection to their friends. Platonic cuddles, kisses, and hugs.

Anyone ever have those moments where not writing feels weird and unnatural? That's my current mood so decided to write this ask at 7am lol

Warning this contains: talk of sex but nothing nsfw, toxic relationships, yandere behavior, manipulation, blackmail

Theodore

As your friend he urges you to not do that

His scolding feels more like a worried father

He shows you the logical side

"what if someone catches feelings when you do that? Wouldn't be good"

He just wants your kisses to himself

If you become affectionate with him he will love it

Honestly though jealously will set in quite fast

You're not his but you basically are

You just don't know it

His suggestions turn into a warning if you keep it up

After seeing you kiss other people for so long it won't be long until he's snatching you up

Taking you away from that situation the only way he knows how

He makes sure to manipulate you, after all theodore works hard to make sure you see him as the voice of reason

He's so smart and reasonable he's only trying to help you don't you see?

"they really said that?"

"I'm afraid so, but it's okay you have me"

Theodore smiled at you gently, his news about your friends hating you shocked you to the core but you were unsure if you were to believe such a thing after all that simply couldn't be true you had a close bind with them

"maybe I should talk with them, we can work it out or some-"

"you know that not the correct answer dear"

Theodore pulled you in for a hug a long sigh escaping him as he held you close, his voice whispering in your ear

" you know it's true, be logical now. The facts simply line up..all those times they told you that they were all going to hang out only to ditch you, or those moments or the fact that they start to whisper about you when you just aren't aware, I see all those things darling"

Theo was a snake, he was able to make you unsure about it all. Placing a small seed of doubt was all it took to ruin everything, of course he did the same little trick on your friends making sure they doubted your friendship as well.

In the end all those friends you adored for some reason stopped hanging around you, you did never understand why but that was okay cause theo stayed by your side no matter what cause..that's what friends are for

Hikaru

Oh honey

He knows this game all too well

Hell he's played it before

It's so easy to befriend your friends

Win them over and win you over as well

It's all in the plan

Of course he wants to slam your friends' heads into a brick wall for touching you but that's besides the point

Flashing around his debit card was all it took to win your friends over

Once they were his..he corrupted them

Spreading rumors and gossip is his favorite hobby

From fake dark secrets about you to gross remarks

It wasn't long until all your friends thought you were a little whore

They all stopped hanging out with you after that

You have no idea why

It honestly broke you

And now hikaru could break you even more

"what do you expect from greedy little bitches, [y/n]?"

Hikaru had to hold back a grin at the sight of you teary eyes about your friends telling you that they don't want to be around you anymore. All that hard work paid off and he was way too happy, you were all his now but this wasn't enough

You had to want him as much as he wanted you.

"honestly though, maybe we shouldn't be fr-"

"No! Please! You're my only friend left!"

Hikaru eyes you with a cold stare now walking closer and gently pushed you down to your knees

"beg for my friendship, after all you're gonna need allies. I think one of them posted a nasty tweet on Twitter and it's going around. But with my help I can definitely make sure you're safe"

Your eyes widened and you honestly had no choice, it was either have your whole friends and family think awful things about you or become his best friend

Hikaru wasn't too bad..right?

"p-please, be my friend hikaru..I need you"

Hikaru couldn't hide a grin anymore as he leaned down roughly grabbing your face forcing direct eye contact

"that's right, you need me. Without me you will be alone and you don't wanna be alone..right, [y/n]? So be a good little bitch and do exact what I say"

His threatening tone terrified you but it scared you more to think what will happen if you didn't do as you were told.

Axis

Goes straight to guilty tripping

He should get the most affection cause he's your bestest friend ever

He needs you!

Please treat him far more special than the rest of your friends

He becomes extremely clingy

He is always around you..like always

He doesn't really get along with your others friends quite as much

He isn't smart like the others

This blind bag of rocks thinks being a brat will solve it

It does annoy your friends and they complain about him to you

If you try to break your friendship off with him he will break down sobbing

Will say anything to prevent you from seeing him in a bad light

"w-what are you saying, [y/n]?"

"we can't be friends, you're scaring my other friends"

Axis felt shocked but quickly knew what to do, tears rolled down his face as he sniffled now playing the pitiful pathetic role. Seeing his heavy tears made your eyes soften and you stepped towards him unsure of what to do

"it's cause I'm blind isn't it? It's cause I'm not like them right?"

That single sentence sent you in for a loop and you were quickly comforting them male before you knew it

"nononono! That's not it I swear! They all said that you've been threatening them and that you being clingy with me is weird"

"lies lies lies! It's not true! I just wanted to be friends, why do they hate me [y/n]?"

Axis suddenly reached out clearly wanting you to grab him so you did and he wrapped his arms around you hugging you close

"h-how come they can be clingy with you but I can't? That's not fair..they hate me cause of my disability, people like that are the worst"

Seeing how fragile and vulnurable axis was made you bubble up with anger, how could your friends treat him so poorly? There was no way he was making threats towards them!

He was such a sweet guy and having him sob into your arms made you confirm that! Axis wasn't a danger to anyone and your friends were selfish and cruel..is what you believed

Axis sniffles softly now hiding a small smile as he hugged you close, his sweet [y/n] will be all his someday, so what does it matter if he told a few lies or spilled a few tears.

Prince

So that's how you wanna play?

Okay!

Of course he's jealous but he isn't going to have a bitch fit over it

He knows what to do

He proceeded to seduce and sleep with your entire friend group

Gender does matter

Sexuality doesn't matter

He somehow did it

Once he did that it was only natural for things to fall apart

Your friends liked him

Loved him

Wanted to screw him

And he used that to his advantage

Having them fight each other was just amazing

It didn't take much for jealously to kick in amongst your friends

A simple hand hold with one of your friends made the others very jealous

You were blissfully unaware

You didn't understand why your friends were so tense around another

Then they started to bad mouth each other to you

It was utter hell and chaos trying to keep the peace

Prince of course was there to comfort you every step of the way

"babe, some people are just toxic y'know?"

"y-yeah, but this came out of nowhere like we were all fine I have no idea what happened"

You sat with prince in his room he let you vent our your troubles and you needed that. All your other friends were fighting with each other every chance they get and you still don't know why

"what do you think, P?"

"ehh, I dunno? People are weird huh? Well whatever it is dont stick your nose in it or they will snap at you too"

"yeah, I should wait til this all blows over, it will be fine I mean we are all best friends"

Prince held back a chuckle as he watched you, you trusted him and he loved that. He leaned close planting a kiss to your cheek

"how about you spend the night yeah? We can just chill and eat food yeah? You definitely need that"

"yeah sounds good"

Checkmate. You were his.

Yuki

Okay..do it to him

Kiss him too

Hug him as well

When he sees you go to hug or kiss someone else he quickly stops it by distracting you

Whether it be tugging your shirt to get your attention or showing you a random video on his phone of a cute animal

He will distract your mind for that moment

He end up stealing all the kisses and love

Your lap is just perfect for sleeping

He does have to dispose of your friends though

After all you two were 'dating' and cheating isn't a good trait

He does it by intimidation

Blackmail does the trick nicely

Blackmailing all of them has scared them away

But that's okay cause yuki will take all their affection

"I think she blocked me, I'm not in the group chat anymore what about you?"

You spoke to the male who rested his head in your lap, you two were in your room relaxing and as always yuki had his head rested in your lap looking like he was about to fall asleep

His light grunt answered the question for you and you gave a long sigh, your fingers now running through his hair and he's a satisfied groan from him

Yuki was a quiet one but you liked that about him, he reminded you of a cat.

"guess I'll try again later, a nap sound good huh?"

Yuki turned to his side his face buried in your stomach now as he held you close nuzzling his face into you with a pleased him. He wasn't sure how long the blackmail would work but it was working that's all that mattered to him

"forget them...'m here"

His soft whisper shocked you but you grinned as you leaned down kissing your best friend on his cheek

"yeah I could always count on you huh?"

Of course you could, he was your future husband!