#...but she's also annoying (affectionate)

[elkkiel]

if he fits, he sits :3

[lilithofpenandbook]

Sometimes Severus comes up to Minerva. Right up behind her when she's busy. He'll stand there for a good minute as she works on marking assignments and cursing the boy's youthful energy and brilliant eyes- both of which directly responsible for his finishing his work in half the time it takes her.

"What is it, Severus?" Minerva sighs. Might as well get the obligatory nonsense over and done with, she was due a dose of Severus's antics by now (Merlin forbid he go more than three days without bothering her with nonsensical questions or infuriating wit).

"Am I ugly, Minerva?" he asked. Never there was a being with such innocence in their voice.

Minerva took a moment to take in a breath and silently call on all her patience and all her strength. "Yes, very." Her tone was blunter than the knives used to decorate at Halloween- an incident with some particularly idiotic third years had them ban anything sharper than the corners of a book during the Halloween celebrations.

Severus gasped as if stabbed. "What? Minerva, I thought we were friends!"

Minerva snorted. "Any time we interact, it's completely against my will."

"Minerva! you lie so shamelessly it shocks me." Severus made as if to swoon, a hand clutching the right of his chest.

"You must be shocked; your heart isn't where it should be."

Honestly, Minerva had to admire the fact that the insolent little kitten did not falter in his dramatics with her pointing out the key flaw in his act. If anything, he seemed to be encouraged.

"Ay! The pain of the shock, it has spread throughout my chest! Ah, I cannot breathe!" Severus swayed on his feet, leaning against the chair that Minerva was sitting in. "Oh, how your lie shocks me!"

"Well, then, you had better tell me what exactly I lied about," Minerva said briskly, "before you gasp all the air out of your skinny little lungs, laddie."

"You said," the boy said, a sudden glint in his eye and none of the apparent weakness, standing to face her and one of those long, delicate fingers pointed straight at her, "you said, that our interactions are without your will."

"That is no lie, what part of this looks like it's my will?" Minerva replied, knowing full well she wasn't going to appreciate the cheeky answer Severus had prepared for her.

"Why, the part where you remain for my company, mother," Severus replied, his voice light. "Surely, if you didn't want this, you would have, in your infinite wisdom, simply have employed your great power and assumed your famous feline form and just walked away from me."

Minerva fought her smile. His cheek was infuriating while his logic impeccable. "Perhaps I am simply conversing my energy, you arrogant wee rascal."

"You? Too lazy to avoid a nuisance?" Severus scoffed. "Minerva, you wound me. Don't you know how I know you? You've done much more to avoid the mildest of annoyances, do you truly think I believe that you are here against your will merely to converse your energy?"

Minerva let him see the flicker of a smile disgusted as a smirk, letting the bothersome raven have a little treat for his cleverness, hinting to him that he had essentially won this particular argument. "At my age you no longer have the patience to waste on annoyances. You learn to value your peace. You will understand that some day, I hope, little one."

"And if I die, my hair still black and my skin still smooth?"

Merlin, did the child have a turn towards the morbid. Minerva ignored the voice in her that told her that this would have been a retort of her own had she been in a similar conversation.

"Then you'll die a fool."

"A fool, perhaps, but my funeral will be the biggest," he replied, moving to sit on her desk and grabbing the biscuit jar. Minerva intercepted, lifting it from his grip and replacing it with a towel. His protests died in his confusion at the towel, and Minerva huffed and began to wipe his hands as if he was a child. She did not trust him to correctly clean his hands after handling goodness knows what when experimenting with his potions and she didn't care if he knew it.

"Aye, and how did you figure that?" she asked.

"Surely if I die young, I shall be the first. Therefore you all will be part of the funeral-"

"What makes you think I would want to attend your funeral, you little rascal?" She let go of his hands, almost satisfied that they weren't contaminated.

Severus ignored her and instead took a biscuit from the jar. "You will all be there, therefore I will have the biggest funeral. If I die old, you all shall be gone, so my funeral will be the smallest."

Minerva tried not to think of how depressing that sounded, how lonely it seemed. For a brief moment she felt guilty for being so old and he so young. She involuntarily could see him in her mind's eye, going through their funerals until he stood alone. She and the others- Rolanda, Pomona, Poppy, even Fillus and Hagrid- they were all of an age, weren't they? They could expect their lives to reach the end around the same time, surely? Severus was but a child next to them, he'd stand alone one day.

Minerva tried to ignore the ache in her chest at the thought of him standing alone. Merlin, no. He was far too young. No.

"You truly are besotted with the morbid and the miserable, you melanchonic masochist," she said, her tone just a trifle too sharp to be a simple retort.

Severus paused, swallowing the biscuit. Then he answered. "Ah, but the morbid is much more fascinating, the forbidden has a certain thrill, dear mother." His voice was a little softer, and his fingers, slightly coated in crumbs, were gentle when he tapped her forehead. He was sorry he upset her.

"You and your thrills," Minerva scolded, "yet you cannot even eat a biscuit without making a mess of yourself." Yet even as she spoke, the hand that she used to swipe the crumbs away, was gentle, almost tender, in its movement. She had quite forgiven him.

How could she remain angry? At this boy who looked at her with a scowl of indignation yet whose deep, dark eyes twinkled with mischief and cleverness and brilliance, who stood taller than her, yes, yet was far more delicate in his build than she had ever been, whose hair was as dark as hers had been in her youth, carelessly falling across his forehead. No, she could not remain angry.

If only he had been in Gryffindor, perhaps then she would have noticed him sooner. Or rather, if only her eyes didn't only open for her Gryffindors. How this boy could ever look at her without resentment and anger, she didn't know. Then again, he had been so incredibly isolated and lonely, was it any wonder he let go of his rightful grudges and instead accepted her friendship?

Minerva blinked as if soot from the fireplace got in her eyes. She didn't want him to notice the tears that almost inevitably formed whenever she thought about him. Who would have thought that she'd cry so much for the little devil?

"I'll leave you to your work, dear mother," Severus said cheerfully, hopping off her desk.

"Aye, after you've cleared out my biscuit jar, you villain" Minerva grumbled, looking into the empty jar. Severus shrugged.

"You ought to see it as a compliment towards your taste, really," Severus said. "But I see I have taken the last of your patience"- for indeed, Minerva looked ready to strangle him- "so I shall take my leave. Good night, my good Headmistress, and may you have peace in the silver embrace of the moon!"

And with a laughing twinkle in his eye and a boyish bow, Severus Snape left the room.

Minerva sighed. She wasn't sure if it was out of relief, or because she may have felt some sorrow at his departure.

The door opened again, and a rather meek Severus poked his head in.

"Er, Minerva?" he asked.

"Yes, Severus?"

"Er." Severus stepped in, looking away from her, walking with the awkward gait of a newborn foal, and the nervousness of a deer. "Er, Minerva?"

"Yes, Severus?"

"Am I really ugly, mother?" His voice was a whisper. His raven hair curtained his face, hiding his shame at asking such a pathetic question, and his fingers picked at one of the cuticles of a nail.

Minerva smiled, and walked to him. Softly she brushed the boy's hair out of his face and gently tucked it behind his ear.

"Only as long as you let yourself believe it, dear heart."

[starry-bi-sky]

Just the idea of clone Danny and clone Talia working out much bette then him and Talia would confuse poor Bruce. And best part all 4 of them don'T believe he is batman Danny: "We know he is your Sugarbaby, Mom and dad talked about it." Clone Talia:" So no fear, my OG liked a Himbo. And well Danny is a one too."

FR THO AND THEN THERE’S BABY DAMES IN THE CORNER SWEATING BECAUSE HE KNOWS. HE KNOWS. THE LoA TOLD HIM. He’s not saying SHIT though because this is hilarious. He’s silently laughing in the corner. And yessss Clone Danny and Clone Talia working out much better is exactly why I thought of it -- because one its funny and two the potential angst. the could have been.

It doesn't ever occur to Bruce to tell them he's batman but that conversation still comes up during mealtime one day while Danny's recovering (he has to be tied to his chair because he found the gym and nearly dislocated his shoulder trying to train. Dammit Danny your bones are made of glass right now from destabilizing, let your cells repair before doing anything!) because the four of them were talking about Batman and his clan of kids.

Danny, frowning: im not a himbo?

Nasra: reportedly when you first met Damian, your first response to his attacking you was to... grab the blade with your hands, multiple times. This resulted in you slicing a nerve in both hands and permanently weakening your fine motor control.

Danny: well--

Nasra: even now you're rubbing your palms, you only do that when your hands are bothering you.

Damian, snapping his head up: what!?

Danny: you noticed that?? also i learned. I didn't repeat myself when you attacked me when we met, did I?

Nasra: i. suppose not. you're still a himbo, however.

also Danny does his usual 'run on negative sleep' bullshit while in the manor except now he has not only damian but also Nasra tag-teaming his bullshit. Like no, Danny. you need sleep to recover your strength. your ghostly investigation can wait until you're not about to pass out and break your nose on your laptop. They have whole ass arguments in arabic - all three of them - as damian AND nasra drag danny to the closest soft horizontal surface. Danny returns the favor to the both of them when those two are also doing their 'negative sleep' stuff.

Dick at bby Dames: so do you....

Damian: know that you guys are Batman and his family? Yeah. Grandfather and Mother told me before I was living with Danny.

Tim: how come Danny and Nasra don't know then?

Damian: I didn't think it was important to tell Danny that his original was Batman. He does know of the League, however. He calls Grandfather my "super evil, ecofascist grampa and his cult of killers" and doesn't want to know more out of worry of needing to get involved.

Dick: I - really?

Damian: yes, he figured that since grandfather had yet to successfully wipe out my original, then that whatever Damian Wayne was doing was working. And that if he knew more, then he might have to get involved, and he has own problems to worry about than the League of Assassins.

[sonknuxadow]

apparently people are mad about this dialogue and saying its out of character and flattening amy into a boring responsible mom friend type and i would agree wholeheartedly if she was saying this to any of her friends but once i found out she was talking to jet i was like "oh. that makes a little more sense. fair enough i guess"

[dearmahiru-archive]

honestly, it feels a bit of a disservice to me how people immediately label kotoko as someone who doesn't care for the people she saves when there's clearly a much more interesting relationship at hand here!

we know how kotoko gets when she doesn't care: she's stone-faced, she's self-assured, she's above it all ...but when a scared little girl hugs her? she doesn't roll her eyes or click her tongue; instead, she freezes, sweats profusely, and yanks the child off her. she just murdered someone seconds ago but it's the child she's antsy with?

Kotoko: "Treat you like a child? Hah, you’ve got to be kidding. Back when I was your age, I was already the person I am today. I don’t have any plans to let you get away with something just “because you’re a child.” ...Remember that."

i don't want to say anything concrete just yet but—especially when you take a look at mikoto—there's a very obvious fear at play with kotoko's relationship in protecting someone weaker than her. just like there's newborn imagery baked into john doe's character, kotoko is the little red riding hood, the child, who's been swallowed by a wolf.

[karmaajr]

anybody else try n look pretty then realise that everybody else can tell you're trying (and failing) n then u can basically HEAR the carnival music 💀💀💀💀

[bitchliteraria1906]

Very amused by the idea of Natsuki calling the other girls teasing nicknames. She calls Sayori "Chipmunk" because of how she stuffs sweets on her mouth. She calls Yuri "Vamp" because she's weird and creepy like a vampire. She calls Monika "Little miss perfect" and "Boss" for obvious reasons.

I just think it'd be cute.

[fideidefenswhore]

so tired of tudor dramas where there are no women… and even when there are women… there aren’t…ykwim?

[qoldenskies]

Do you have anything to say about cc Donnie and Splinter? Any crumbs? I need them🥺

I UNDERSTAND YOU THEY ARE THE SWEETEST.... im trying to think about what i could say hrmmmm. i love how endeared cc!splinter finds donnie when he's being like,, earnestly himself. i think he's always found him charming (he loves his baby so much!!!!) but he's not really laughing at him or anything anymore, when he kind of did before? in the kind of way someone would do so to a much younger child; i think it's a big reason he accidentally disregarded donnie's feelings, because he was out of their lives for so long once the depression hit and sometimes he's hit in the face with the fact that they're fully-formed individuals with serious emotional dilemmas and complexes and such (he didn't miss them developing, but he wasn't all there). he's not that way anymore with the curse said and done. he's learned his lesson.

honestly he's the one who respects donnie's autonomy the most out of anyone (behind mikey, who even then has to contend with a lot of trauma that can inhibit him). that's his sweet little baby boy but he's also going to be the first one to gently push him out of his comfort zone and encourage him to try new things, while the others are weak and will fold like a house of cards in most circumstances. this kind of adds a new flavor to their dynamic that im trying to put into words,,, it's like, splinter makes it so everything is an inside joke between them, in a way. he'll make an underhanded joke to one of the others and wink at donnie to make him laugh. he's always pushing him to take up more space, to assert himself and ask for a little more. he finds the way the other three will trip over themselves to accommodate him to be adorable, although he worries when it goes too far. he's gentle in a way that doesn't make donnie feel guilty. he's a breath of fresh air when donnie feels overwhelmed, because splinter makes it all feel so seamless sometimes.

there's a lot of silly jokes about how he doesn't have favorites, but also it's donnie (they all know its just him playing around but i dont even think they'd pretend to be upset for the sake of the joke, i think they'd just sagely nod like its the most understandable thing ever). he goes out of his way to make him feel loved without making it completely serious, because he understands that's relieving. he's really good at letting donnie in on the joke without being pushy about it. he's different than he was before but he lets donnie feel so normal in a lot of ways, and it's a breath of fresh air sometimes. i think more than anything splinter just wants to see him happy and smiling again, and he'll support pretty much anything that allows that. he can do whatever he wants forever 💖 the others have their limits because they care about his safety maybe a little too much but splinter will enable his deranged behavior now, he deserves to do a little more terrorism. as a treat

anyways donnie is going to be absolutely fucking devastated and inconsolable when he dies i hope you know that

[keischreiber]

Touchdown!

I have one more, which I received yesterday from Crook.

I SWEAR. EVERY TIME I FEEL MY SCHOOL CASTE AU BRAINROT SETTLES DOWN, IT DOESNT. And the commission from Crook fuels me. It fuels me so much.

I'll write the story behind this eventually, but the over all gist of this is that Reiner's team was having a particularly difficult football match, which they ended up winning. Kristina who wasn't even supposed to go because of prior engagements ended at the game, giving them a cheer. Something that, for this story, is a pretty big deal for her because 1) She doesn't like sports, 2) She doesn't like crowds like this, and 3) She did decline Reiner's and the team's invitation to watch the game. So, seeing her there and hearing her cheer them on or rather threaten them that if they didn't win she'd beat them up gave them a little morale boost. After all, every little support from everyone does help. It's just funny that it was the first time someone actually (and someone who the entire team saw as their nerdy little mascot) threatened them to win.

To commemorate the win, they take pictures, and Reiner decided to take one with her too, because they are "buddies" and he appreciates her going to the game.

PLEASE APPRECIATE REINER'S WIDE SMILE WITH ME.

[imagineaspen]

Wondering if Ganondorf gave himself the title 'Great King of Evil' or if other people started calling him that and he just went with it

[moeblob]

Right and his work menaces (Brent and Karen).

I don't remember last I mentioned it but apart from crude nicknames to people (except Chris), he also just puts them in his phone really weird (except Chris, who is literally in his phone as Chris). And I bring this up because in Right's phone, Karen is saved as "Lawful Obligation".

[itissadbutitsmy-life]

listen I just can’t find fault with a candy person for finding something that unexpectedly brings them joy and doing everything in their power to make it keep happening. I just can’t find it in me to blame them for wanting the approval of the person they love and respect more than anyone else, and wanting that approval over and over again, and I just straight up can’t blame james for figuring out a trick to make his princess smile and call him her hero. like, banana guards get her praise and approval and hugs all the time, but he’s just some random engineer with an easy smile and no one who wants to hang out with him after work. and she likes him so much, she wants him in her kingdom, even when he goes and does something stupid like push her out of the way of a super dangerous not-moving car, at the cost of his own life, she wants him back and she’ll bring him back and she'll tell him that was very brave and she loves him. of course she loves him. she loves all the candy people. but he figured out how to make her look him in the eyes and say it and give him material evidence of her pride. I can’t find it in myself to blame him for that. it wasn't good, i don't think he should have been left unchecked to keep going forever, but i can't blame him for wanting to keep reliving the nice thing that happened once. the really nice thing that happened once that came with material gifts. if she didn’t want to keep doing it she would’ve stopped LONG before there were TWENTY FIVE of them. before she was so fed up that she didn’t even spare him a kind goodbye or a chance to go home one more time.

like you’re not beating the dystopian dictatorship allegations. saying she was right to exile him from the only home he’s ever known with no recourse because he was acting weird. and the thing is, I just can’t find it in me to blame a character living in a dictatorship for getting himself into a situation because he was desperately trying to be happy the best way he could figure out how. I’m not saying he was right, he’s insane, but it just rubs me wrong, the idea that he is the one holding all this heavy blame. the idea that the princess is right to look down at him and shake her head firmly and turn him out in the cold. for chasing the rush that she gave him willingly, over and over, without any specific end parameters. for not being able to make friends, and doing something weird about it. he’s bored and lonely and this works and it’s not, inherently, bad. it really isn’t. it’s batshit, but it’s actually not hurting anyone at all.

[yukimeowmeownya]

they invented distance to sell plane tickets to yearning queers

[nerdallwritey]

You thought I was gone...

BUT SICKLY ANON HAS RETURNED.

And so has the sickness 👌🏼

Anyways, so I was was wondering 🤔

What are your opinions on ascended Astarion?

Man, you and me both, anon, I have a cold this week!! Hope you feel better soon <3

I have mixed feelings about Ascended Astarion tbh. I adore Astarion in all forms, I love how cringe and annoying he is as the Vampire Ascendent, but that's about it when it comes to that version of him. OH! And the lip bite kiss! I love that animation.

But yeah, I think it's a completely valid route to ascend Astarion, I don't think there's a right way or a wrong way to play his story line, so long as you're having fun, but I personally don't think I could ever ascend him. It makes for a really interesting story, and I love the way Neil plays him, but spawn Astarion and his growth and kindness will always hold my heart.

I LOVE the different ways people interpret Ascended Astarion for their fics and stuff (One of my faves being @arzen9's "Can I Be Good" series), but when it comes to the actual game, he's just not the goofy Astarion I love to picture in my head and write about. Again, no hate! I adore Astarion in all forms! And think that Ascended Astarion is EXTREMELY interesting as a character. He's just not for me!

[starstruckodysseys]

i don’t have a joke this time it’s just wild to me i’ve done four of these now. happy spiral into insanity everyone i hope ur all having fun <3

@angelwiththeblue-box i’m summoning u. have more of these. do with them what u will. i love this symbiotic relationship we’ve created

lanie, walking into the living room: what are you doing here?

cassie: i could ask you the same question

lanie: i live here. this is my house

cassie: i should probably ask you a different question

— —

[ sappho’s legacies ]

cheddar cheese

wait we’re partners in crime what laws are we breaking

laniebug

idk we’re probably just jaywalking or something

— —

wendell: you were stabbed, do you remember anything?

lanie: only the ambulance ride to the hospital

wendell: that… wasn't an ambulance. i drove you

lanie: but i heard a siren?

liv: that was cassie

cassie: i got nervous!

— —

cassie: do you ever want to talk about your emotions, liv?

liv: no

lanie: i do!

cassie: i know, lanie

lanie: i’m sad!

cassie: i know, lanie

— —

russell: you three. explain. now

cassie: it was lanie

wendell: it was lanie

lanie: it was lanie

lanie:

lanie: damn

— —

cassie: my love language is the same as a crow

cassie: if you’re nice to me i’ll bring you useless little trinkets from my travels that made me think of you

— —

cassie: yo, do you have a bag i can borrow?

lanie: the only bags i have are the ones under my eyes, and they’re specifically designed to carry the weight of my existence

cassie:

cassie: you literally could’ve just said no

— —

lanie: liv kissed me. i didn’t even kiss her back. okay, fine, i kissed her back. is that what you want me to say?

cassie: i literally haven’t said a word in like an hour

lanie: and now she won’t even talk to me because i saw her this morning and she just panic moonwalked away

cassie: she what?

lanie: she does that sometimes

— —

lanie: rules were made to be broken

paula: rules were meant to be followed. nothing is made to be broken

dang: uh, piñatas?

wendell: glow sticks

liv: karate boards

cassie: spaghetti when you have a small pot

lanie: rules

paula:

— —

cassie: *kicks the door open, looking panicked*

lanie: what did you do?!

cassie: NOBODY DIED!

lanie: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!

— —

lanie: “it’s 85° out why are you wearing a jacket” because my outfit FUCKS

lanie: next question you poor, swaggerless fool

— —

lanie: if a beautiful person disagrees with me i will change my views immediately. i have no principles

liv: well, maybe you should have principles?

lanie: you’re right maybe i should

— —

ep8 core (bc i am endlessly insane)

cassie: why would you give lanie a knife?!

wendell: she said she felt unsafe!

cassie: okay, but now i feel unsafe!

wendell: i’m sorry!

wendell: …do you want a knife?

— —

cassie: i like eating nerds candy because i’m secretly hungry for aquarium gravel and this takes the edge off

— —

[ royal flush ]

laniebug

i’m at the store what flavor teddy grahams do you want

sky’s the limit

honey?

laniebug

what’s up?

just realized you were saying the flavor you wanted and not addressing me endearingly. my bad