#...pick a struggle

[inkskinned]

it's easier to apply for jobs than ever! so what if you lost your insurance, anyone can get a job these days, even without meds. everyone is hiring! there's a "good employee" shortage!

well you just need to revamp your resume, here's a paid app subscription that can read it for you. rewrite the cover letter they won't read. google jobs in my area and then scrawl through Monster/Indeed/worbly. did you want to save the search? this was posted 98 days ago. over 1 billion applicants! this position is trending.

jobs i actively like doing and get paid for. your search returned no results. easy-apply with HireSpin! easy apply with SparkFire! easy apply with PenisFlash! with a few short clicks, get your information stolen.

watch out! the first 98 links on google are actually scams! they're false postings. oopsie. that business isn't even hiring. that other one is closed permanently. find one that looks halfway legit, google the company and the word "careers". go to their page. scroll past brightly-lit diversity stock photo JOIN US white sans serif. we are a unique, fresh, client-focused stock value capitalism. we are committed to excellence and selling your soul on ebay. we are DRIVEN with POWER to INNOVATE our greed. yippee! our company has big values of divisive decision making, sucking our dicks, and hating work-life balances. our values are to piss in your mouth. sign here and tell us if you have gender issues so we can get ahead of the sexual harassment claim. are you hispanic although let's be real we threw out the resume when we saw your last name.

sign up to LinkHub to access updates from this company. make a HirePlus account to apply. download the PoundLink app. your account has been created, click the link we sent you in 15 minutes. upload that resume. we didn't read the resume, manually fill in the lines now. what is your expected pay grade. oh actually we want hungry people, not people driven by a salary. cut a zero off that number, buddy, this is about opportunity, and we need to be thrifty. highest level of education. autofill is glitching. here is an AI generated set of questions. what is your favorite part of our sexy, sexy company. how do you resolve conflict. will you get our company logo tattooed on your person. warning: while our CEO is guilty of wage theft, we will absolutely refuse to hire a nonviolent felon.

thank you for your interest at WEEBLIX. we actually already filled this position internally. we actually never had that posting. we actually needed you to have 9 years of experience and since you have 10 years we think it might be too many? we'll be texting you. we'll email you. we'll keep your resume. definitely absolutely we won't just completely ignore you. look at your phone, there's already a spam text from Bethany@stealyouridentity. they're hiring!

wait, did you get an interview? well that's special, aren't you lucky. out of 910 jobs you applied to, one answered, finally. and funny story! actually the position isn't exactly as advertised, we are looking for someone curious and dedicated. it's sort of more managerial. no, the pay doesn't change - you won't have any leadership title. now take this 90 minute assessment. in order to be a dog groomer, we need you to explain cell biology. in order to be a copyeditor, write a tiny dissertation about the dwindling supply of helium on the planet. answer our riddles three. great job! we just need to push this up to Tracy in HR who will send it to Rodney who is actually in charge. and then of course it's jay's decision and then greg will need to see you naked and if you survive you'll be given a drug test and a full anal examination.

and of course you'll be hungry this whole time, aren't you, months and months of the same shit. months of no insurance, no meds, no funding, barely able to afford the internet and the phone and the rent - all things you need in order to even apply for our thing. but do it again! do it again and again and again, until you flip inside out and turn into a being of pure dread!

you're not hired yet because you're lazy. there's over one million AI-generated hallucinated jobs in your area. don't worry. with zipruiter, hiring and firing is easier than ever. sign up. stay on-call.

in the meantime, little peon - why don't you just fucking suffer.

[aretarers]

Can he pick a fucking struggle man

[robintimate]

I know fanon Tim is practically like, the opposite of canon Tim, and the coffee addiction is one of the notoriously opposite things considering canonically Tim doesn't even like coffee, but the fact that it was started because Tim would fall asleep in places?? like, there is such a golden opportunity here and ppl decided to project their coffee addiction on him instead???

Cause imagine Tim who falls asleep anywhere. Tim who works and works and decides that he'll go to sleep after this one last bit but accidentally falls asleep in front of the Batcomputer. Tim who is found by Bruce, who goes all soft, picks him up and takes him up to his bedroom.

Imagine Tim having movie nights with Jason with the worst horror film that Jason arranged just to see Tim get scared except he doesn't react to any of the jumpscares because he fell asleep 5 minutes in. Jason doesn't know if he should be offended or impressed about the whole thing.

Imagine Tim just dozing off while he's trapping Damian so that he can't stab him and Damian doesn't realise until

Dick: ...and I wish you would stop but you– Tim?

Tim: ....

Dick: Is he... is he actually asleep?

Damian who has been trapped in his hands the whole time and thought that Tim was also listening to the lecture is more furious than ever because how dare Tim leave him alone in this.

New plan to murder Tim in his sleep coming up soon. (Because how dare he let himself be so vulnerable around Damian!)

[fvckw4d]

Lot to unpack here but im ignoring that for a minute. Has op never been to high school. These are some of the most popular names in US, hell the entire world. You think CLYDE and ELIJAH are "uncommon" what fucking alternate reality did you fucking jump from.

[squshymarsh]

DcxDp prompt #7

Dragon danny (there’s art too)

Danny comes to possess an amulet like Dorothea’s. Unfortunately, dragon blood comes from his fathers side of the family and being half ghost and in possession of the magic amulet reignites the dormant dragon blood in him turning him into a very real, very half dead dragon.

Right in front of his family.

Even taking off the amulet doesn’t reverse it.

Unfortunately now being both human, ghost and a dragon sets his emotions off which then make his powers go haywire.

Danny fears their reaction and flees into the ghost zone. Only for his powers to get stronger there and for the realms themselves to spit him out into the first dimension that could handle him.

He lands in Gotham, disoriented, lost and afraid. Of course it’s not Gotham unless someone nefarious gets their hands on him.

Months later a new drug hits the market called dragons fury. It enhances a person's magical capabilities and carries a great high but comes with many unpredictable and volatile drawbacks.

Batman and Robin team up with Constantine after finding out that the drug is made with actual dragon's blood. Given the fact that a dragon hasn’t been spotted in the world in a few centuries and each one that had is very powerful. It shouldnt be in drug dealers hands, even if it’s just the blood and not an actual dragon.

Batman and John are speaking to Commissioner Gordon one night while Robin(Damien) patrols close by. Damien comes apon a drug deal and goes to intercept when he notices the target drug being exchanged. Unfortunately the dealer in a magic user and knocks Damien out. Instead of being smart and leaving the user takes Damien back to where they are operating thinking they can use him as leverage.

Damien is somewhat awake by the time he’s being dragged inside a forgotten building and the arguing about what to do with him begins. He can’t get his body to move just yet due to what the magic user used on him and he’s only barely starting to get his feeling back when the group decides what to do with him.

They decided to feed him to the dragon. Confirming the existence of an actual dragon.

Damien is tossed into a concrete cell in the basement of the building. It’s dark and he can’t move to turn on night vision in his mask. yet he can just make out the shape of the walls and the door and the man standing in the way of the dim light coming from the hall behind him. Shadows cover the man’s face obscuring his identity.

The dark and shadows don’t conceal the sound of snapping leather or deep bellowing growls. The sound like a crocodile bellowing mixed with the vicious snarl of a big predatory cat.

From the ceiling drops a dark mass. Body fluid yet coiled and stiff, ready to snap and attack. Not at the prone body laying behind it but the much larger one standing at the door. Teeth barred and poised to attack. Leathery wings spread as far as they could in the tiny cell.

The door slams shut when the long and fluid body lunges. Leaving the beast to slam its weight against it, clawing and snarling before settling with a snort of air. Folding its large wings behind its long body.

It’s hard to see now with the room in almost complete darkness. Light coming through the cracks between the door and its clawed at and scratched frame. That darkness does nothing to hide when the animal turns its attention to Damien.

Wide, toxic green eyes with vertical pupils land on him, if the magic wasn’t still freezing him then those dangerous eyes may have.

Its body moves like a ribbon flowing through the wind. Fluid, smooth and elegant. Scales darker than the room are nestled in fur equally as dark, only broken up by a mane of shockingly white fur that trails down its long neck, between alternating shoulder blades and down the dragon's long body, ending in a puff of fur at the end of its whip-like tail.

It stops in front of Damien lowering its narrow head close to his. Cold breath ghosts over him along with strong whiskers.

Dangerously close yet it doesn’t attack. Instead the dragon seems to check him over for a moment before settling next to him. Putting itself between Damien and the door.

The dragon wasn’t going to attack him it seemed, now all he had to do was wait till he could move so he can escape with his newly acquired friend.

[mr-avocado-man7]

using enas birthday as an excuse to post the art I’ve been hoarding 🔥🔥🔥

[sykloni]

[steblynkaagain]

conclave book is so funny fr you never expect the protag of a book about the Pope election to be suicidal, bi, have ED, and implied to have dysphoria. what a fucking character. The movie protag was having it pretty bad already.

[sucreboy-blog]

He is cool.

I knew full well when I started reading one piece that he would die, but I didn't expect him to be so cool, with his little boat and cool fighting. I start sobbing if I think of him to much (I feel insane with how much I ended up liking him)

Also, the reference I use while making this

[superbat-lmao]

Jason joking: You’re so annoying.

Roy loopy from sleep deprivation: You like annoying.

Jason flustered: What the fuck-

Later, talking about a family dinner that didn’t go well.

Roy morose: Sorry about that Jaybird, thanks for putting up with me last night. I know I can be annoying.

Jason realizing something about himself: I like annoying.

[peace-hunter]

I just realized. One thing that Optimus will certainly be educated on by the Primes in the Haunted AU is the various was One Can Kill A Quintesson! Leaving some Autobots confused at times when he's teaching them in return because 'This sounds pretty Specific...???'

It's slightly competitive on the Primes' part because yeah, the Deceptions do got the High Guard being good at killing Quintessons too but. They're the Real Experts. (Are they salty? Naaaah they're not. Much. Kinda.)

AKJSHDK YEAH YOU'RE SO RIGHT I LOVE THAT <333

they got so good at squishing the goddamn bugs and they're thrilled they can save Optimus the pain of figuring out their weak points through trial and error like they did. they're gonna make a pro out of their baby brother in no time.

and if they just so happen to know some of the Decepticons will be majorly pissed off at the fact OP is already on par with the best of what used to be the High Guard when he only has a fraction of their experience... well, happy coincidences, y'know?

and if they happen to teach Optimus how to crack open a Quintesson in just the right way to make some Decepticons see ghosts through him... that's between them and the people they're haunting :)

haunted au

[skufdaddyswansea]

The more I think about the cocktail scene the funnier it gets.

Like he did not even remotely try to convince Swansea to help. We know he never would have let him in there, but he didn't even bother to explain that Anya and Curly were in danger. He just gave up at the slightlest resistance.

He was just like, okay that didn't work, only poison will fix this.

And he really had to use the WHOLE BOTTLE of isopropyl.

"Daisuke, you're gonna have to trust me. If we're going to save Curly we might have to kill Swansea. And You. Anya too if there's time."

[damianito]

How would the girls react to the news, lol?

A little confuse but they got the spirit.

[starry-bi-sky]

no thoughts head empty de-aged blood blossom danny

if ONLY because i was at work yesterday out in the play yard and one of the babies from the one year old room walked up to me, held up her arms and went "up. up" and i caved like a wet fucken nOODLE and im inflicting that onto Bruce

so im just picturing like, roughly 18mo Danny, just absolutely teeny, walking up to Bruce in the Batman suit, grabbing his cape and pulling on it to get his attention or plastering himself to the side of his legs (<- real experience i've had) and when Bruce looks down at him Danny just goes "Bah-man, bah-man. Up."

and im teLLING YOU. Bruce would cave in a fucking heartbeat.

or if he crouches down, Danny will just crawl onto him anyways. wraps both arms around his neck and tries to raise his leg over his knee so he can wrap himself around his waist (<- ALSO A REAL EXPERIENCE I'VE HAD)

also he can't fully articulate himself yet, he doesn't have all of his teeth quite yet and phonetics are harD, so he can't say Bruce it just sounds like "boo" or "booce" like 'boost' but without the 't'.

[canisalbus]

hey there!! i'd been checking this blog for a while, and I really wanted to say you're a great source of inspiration haha! I really love your dog characters and your lore! The amount of research and dedication is really amazing!! about ludovica's gf, do you mind if I come in with my vision as well? I think she'd be a really fluffy dog, maybe with curly hair. so my mind went to the portuguese water dog; but then i thought of two versions: long hair and short hair. so i drew both (tried my best to make her look like a lady and not a grandpa haha)

.

[sofieartz]

[ Transformers ]

Rung or whoever this guy is...

Been wanting to draw him for a while, finally got around to actually do it ^^