#...starting next Tuesday lol]
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Why are they like this . Killing them with hammers
#ragebait#shrimpbowl#shrimpo dw#dw shrimpo#finn dw#dw finn#dandy's world#dandys world#felix scribbles#this was kind of lazy lol#i could NOT figure out how to draw Finn's tail the first 30 minutes and i wanted to scream and aggressively throw my pillows /hj#anywho goodmorning homosapiens and other creatures#i dont want to get up this early for school AND ITS ONLY TUESDAY !!! MAKE IT FRIDAY !! OR NEXT THURSDAY THATS WHEN SCHOOL GETS LET OUT#but WE FINALLY STARTED PARADING AGAIN !!! I MISSED PARADINV SO MUCH YIPPIE !!!!!!
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(belated) new pen alert + updating my 5-year hobonichi ! a few months ago, i got a lamy safari in the piña colada colorway. unfortunately, the EF nib was SO scratchy and awful, but i got a replacement nib and switched to a different ink, and it flows much better! it is not my favorite fountain pen but i do love how colorful the body is. i'm also behind on my 5-year hobonichi so i have been filling in past missing entries, such as my trip to copenhagen and stockholm last month 💆♀️ although not being a student anymore feels strange, i have so much time to catch up on my previously neglected journals :))
#ok let's not talk about the state of my nails LOL#i don't start work until the end of next month so ive really been being a couch potato at my parents' home#i also don't have the $$ to move early :(#tea-tuesday#studyblr#mine#study inspiration#studyspo#stationery#stationery freaks#fountain pen#hobonichi#hobonichi 5 year#journaling#lamy safari
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As a verse bottom who tops infrequently, I’m proud to say I had did some lovely flip fucking the past two days 😌✨ Got that verse card renewed for another year
#ho stories#two guys I fucked with before but not in a good while#the Monday guy I topped for longer than I think I’ve ever topped without cumming.#best part tho was while I was riding him when I was about to bust he started sucking and he said that nut was faaaaaaaattt#the Tuesday guy i didn’t even mean to be there that long but next thing I know 2.5 hours passed and it was passed midnight lol
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Zohran won (first-round 9pt lead notwithstanding) Zohran won (first-round 9pt lead notwithstanding) Zohran won--
#ore no kao#(also i guess this is a two-week-late haircut reveal i've been too distracted to post about lol)#(may still post what i intended to for that lol)#honestly wild to see that Cuomo even conceded to him??? (will he renege on running indie in the general? doubtful)#but knew Zohran could do it and overcome all the nonsense right-wing smears billionaire money threw his way#i last felt political hope after Bernie won NH and NV in 2020 and before that AOC's primary win in 2018#(thoughts on her time in Congress aside)#and that feeling's back--hopeful for an NYC that actually cares about its people#and Democrats and their stalwarts should note it didnt require him to compromise and move to the right on his values or on being a socialis#it's the economy stupid#(also total sidebar but i ended up seeing this cute redhead at my local results party who i could swear i'd seen before#[i'd messaged him on grindr a month or two ago and didnt get a reply]#and after a bit near the end after Zo's speech i finally asked if we'd seen each other before and got his name/talked a bit#was a quick convo as the night wrapped/a day of canvassing took its toll and he probably didnt remember me messaging him#but would be nice seeing him around the area or we end up chatting on the App who knows lol#[i would like a cute socialist in my life as a treat])#but anyway zohran win cuomo world in shambles chris matthews worrying about beheadings in central park if socialism wins all is nice tonigh#do wish i was able to canvass more for him but even just doing this afternoon and having some good convos with fellow latinos was nice#[for non-NYC/US-ers our Dem race for mayor uses ranked-choice voting and he didn't clear 50% this first round so RCV votes now get tallied#...starting next Tuesday lol]
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i hate feeling ambitionless aimless the future is so bleak
#this is about me not the events#i really don't think i have a plan lol and i ever will...#because all through school i had this thing. need to pass this unit test this half yearly this 2nd unit test final exams need to do this#cocurricular activity and the absolute relief when i flipped the report to see i was promoted every year. that was the aim right#now i don't know what's happening#a set set of friends i met everyday sat next to permanent place in the field where we had lunch. like?#it was all so permanent#i knew teachers did not like me or how people there felt about me#and i think a lot of it comes from the fact that i never changed schools#14 years in the same place then one random tuesday it ends everything ends and im supposed to start from scratch#losing friends was all my fault but goddddddf. i used to be good at things#like when i was in 10th grade i gave my everything to studying maths because mom threatened me that if do not get science here we'll change#your school#to wherever you get science#so i studied like crazy did not touch my phone for months and got science#like that is my level of attachment to that place#i just miss it so much probably more than my own home#and i can't belong anywhere because i'm so stuck and nothings good enough and i miss being good and being academically productive#it was my only win i think#this is so sad but i don't think i'll ever get that past work ethic back and it will never be good enough for me to feel good about myself#which can only be through study or work because im a loser who thinks she's worthless if not for a successful career#and I've felt this way for three years now. it is going to be permanent#everything is lonely
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#so a few days ago I vented in the tags on a post about how I applied to a job that I would be perfect for and seems perfect for me#and the logical next step in my career and would be a lot better for me financially#and how I was anxious about it bc I do love where I work now and all of my friends#but also I know I can’t stay here forever#and on Thursday I got an email that they want to do a zoom interview with me lol#I cannot stress how exciting this is but also it could be bc my favorite coworker knows the director and emailed him about me#my favorite coworker actually told me about this job and told me to apply lol#part of me is like ‘does B want me gone?’ and then I’m like#‘nah B just wants me to grow and succeed and get paid what I’m worth’ bc I was promised a raise a year ago that I haven’t gotten yet#I would say lmao but it makes me seethe with rage every time I think about it for too long#and I’m anxious but also. I’ve been training for this for so long. every time I go to a conference I introduce myself to people.#I’ve been networking without realizing I’m networking. I just love talking to book people!#and this particular world that I’m working in is so small that everyone knows everyone#but also I love where I work now and many aspects of my job but it would be cool to try something a little different#and meet new people and eventually move a little closer to the city and start to have an actual social life#but I will miss my favorite coworkers so dearly. and idk how I feel about all of this! I’m anxious! I want them to want me!#but do I actually want them to want me? but also what if THEY DONT WANT ME?????#I was telling my mom this and she was like ‘but this is what you wanted!’ and I was like ‘BUT I CAN STILL BE ANXIOUS!!!’#says the GAD Queen#but yeah. idk. good things maybe happening here. but also wary of getting my hopes up#and just pls think good thoughts for me for Tuesday thanks :’)
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i need to make more friends who i can drag out to karaoke nights with me lmao
#i wanna go out for karaoke tonight but i feel weird about going alone bc i haven't been to my monday night place in like over a month#it's the one the guy i kinda like hosts lol#it's a cool vibe but i haven't been going bc it's soooo far away and i always have to uber home bc otherwise it takes 2 hours to get home#i wanna go again but i don't know anyone else really and i don't just wanna sit there alone. i need people to get hyped with#i wish my new bestie who i met through karaoke was here but she goes to med school upstate and only comes down on weekends 😔#she'll be here this weekend and said she might stay until tuesday..... perhaps next monday#but i also wanna go tonight tho bc i can stay late if i want. next week i will Have A Job and will have to leave early-ish#eye dee kay. we'll see what i decide lol#if i end up going i don't have to leave until 8. or later. it starts at 9-ish but goes until 2 or 3 usually so i have time to think#if any of my nyc area mutuals wanna go out for karaoke in bushwick tonight hit me up lol#m.txt
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hahaha hey you guys guess what. you'll never believe it. got the guy who's in charge of my fraud case on the phone and he was like "who'd you give one-time security codes to yesterday" and i was like "the guy who called me from the fraud department after they noticed a weird login in florida??" and he was like "that was the fuckin hacker. you got got. IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!" i handed my entire savings over to a fucking guy on the phone on a silver platter. like some kind of fuckin rube. bro
#IT IS OK THOUGH I HAVE BEEN SORTING IT OUT#account is LOCKED DOWN! card is DELETED! fraud paperwork has been FILED! i have requested a fraud alert AND credit freeze#from the NATIONAL CREDIT BUREAU!#a friend of mine is taking me to MAINE next saturday to go to the BANK! i sent an email to my landlord asking if i can pay rent by CHECK!#i went to my other bank and deposited my BONDS! so i have some MONEY! to pay RENT!#i also got a new debit card from them. and made sure i could use my old checks.#i also bought some STAMPS while i was out and a BIRTHDAY PRESENT for a FRIEND#now i am going to start switching over some auto deposits#so when i get my paycheck on tuesday i will actually get it.#i feel so STUPID but i think i have done all i can to fix this. i am feeling better about it#by next weekend i will have my money again. it's all fine#and hopefully next time i will not get got so easily. lol.#anyway dont get got by people pretending to be your bank i guess. i did think it was weird how many questions they asked but..#they ALWAYS ask lots of questions at the bank!!!!!#i got a text message FROM the bank saying they would be calling me soon and then the next call was from the scammer#and then like a half hour later got one from the bank and was confused bc they'd just 'called me'#anyway. it'll be fine. scary for a while but at least i have things i can do to make it better. it's all good#genuinely feeling like i ought to take out like a thousand bucks cash and keep it in my desk to replace my bonds tho tbh hahah#just in case something like this happens again. you never know. what would i have done if i DIDNT have those yknow#ok thank u all for being along on this journey with me
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there is SO much on this term and they keep just telling us more and more things that are happening and it’s like can you just stop planning things please I’m begging you 😭
It’s halfway through the third week and we’ve already had an excursion, two performances, a jump rope for heart skipping afternoon, an athletics carnival, a house meeting for the athletics carnival and our bush play day out of school
next week, we have a performance, a science week assembly, a mini athletics at some point, and they just emailed us with two extra activities for bully no way day we need to somehow fit in and also we need to start doing this singing thing at 2:30 on Friday too and it’s like do you want us to still teach anything or??
#plus I’m out on a professional development day 4 Tuesdays in a row starting next week#and my coworker is out next Wednesday too lol#it’s ridiculous lol#and we have to have a meeting after work to discuss ANOTHER new literacy program they want us to start fitting in somehow so I’m dreading#that too#plus I feel sick /:
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tomorrow is the halfway point for my experiment i believe
#so the real data taking will start next Tuesday#i should have taken more this past week but i was not thinking straight lol
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;v
#not fandom related#personal log stardate#trans stuff#finally contacted a clinic for top surgery and they've replied the next day#unfortunately they want me to call them to talk abt making an appointment for a consultation#nnnmggghh. phone calls are hard due to my social anxiety. also idk if i pass on the phone or not#i actually haven't made a phone call since starting T which is 5 months ago lol#also they have weird office hours and ill basically only be able to call on Tuesdays#ig i gotta write down what i wanna say and just bite the bullet next Tuesday#bc i can image the waiting times are insane. probably several months to a year#i choose one of the 2 surgeons in my city bc i don't want to travel#ive heard from a few ppl that surgeon does a good job but there's actually no information available anywhere#except that they offer top surgery. i couldn't find any results online. so i hope that what i heard is actually true#that the surgeon has good results. well. ill report back next week when i hopefully managed to make the call
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urgh im screwing everything in university up lately and it has me feeling like such a fucking idiot
#screwed up my project thats worth most of my grade in a class.#could not for the life of me write a decent outline for my dissertation because i just havent researched the topic enough yet to know#exactly what i want to do with it yet i just didnt have time to.... and it seems like they want you to know already? and i had no idea how#to write it so its basically literally me going 'uhm its about this but idk what exactly i want to do yet lol sorry'#im so worried for exams tbh#i have my first one like next tuesday i think? i havent started studying yet#i just cannot stop fucking up idk whats wrong with me i used to be able to handle everything even if barely
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[through gritted teeth] my education is a privilege and i must go through with it
#i do Not want my next semester to start. all my classes are at 8-9am. im not built for that#my prev semester’s classes typically started at 12pm ish so i coped lol#also i have double lab days on tuesdays. thats six hours of lab straight#GOD. i know i picked this life but SIX HOURS of LAB#im a lab hater. i cannot be doing this#sigh. whateverrr
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finally finished reading la hacienda by isbael cañas this is actually the first time I read an entire book in spanish 😭
#i enjoyed this book so much that halfway through reading it I ordered her other book vampires of el norte#it just arrived on Friday so I’m excited to start reading it but maybe on Tuesday lol#la hacienda was so good I’m not ready to move on from Beatriz and Andres 😭#also. I ordered vampires of el norte in English because Barnes & Noble didn’t have it in Spanish lol#so I’m wondering if I’ll enjoy her writing style in English as much as I did in Spanish 🤔#anyway. I’m very proud that I finally read this book. I’ve had it for a year just sitting on my bookshelf#and also I’ve gotten the inspiration to just read more. so I’ve got like 7 books lined up next lol#and some more that I want to read this year
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mooooah than you could evah knowww all i want for chirstmaaahhessss, ieeeyissss youuuu0oou0oouo0ouyeaaaaAaa
#just me hi#[absolute gibberish for 4 consecutive minutes]#SPINNING#spinning SO FAST#or a relatively fast. it might depend lol .w.#//it's Saturday that's pretty cool !!#i like tuesdays more but saturdays are okay !!#//AH i'm teaching myself over the rainbow on the piany !! took me like 3ish days but i'm starting to smooth it out lol :3 :DDD#i keep getting D+F confused with F+A which has been. a Time hfbshf#and i get the sharps mixed up sometimes but that's okay because i'll get it eventually :D#//started rewriting p1nk space last night again because i do really love the story and i want to see how i could get myself to finish it lo#turns out it's easier to write if i'm reading too! that's interesting !!#//ooo i'm sneepy though hfvsh#i stayed up til 1 a.m. last night for some reason ?? i didn't even really do anything so ?#//also i think i forgot to say but apollo n i finished the 2nd twilight movie + i think i'll draw a thing for it before we watch the next#one lol#we had to take a break because he was fed UP with the squad's nonsense hbfshbafbvja#but he's been asking if we could finish it so :33 i gotta make my thing before i forget forever again lmao#//!! i have legos i just remembered#i have somehow amassed a decent amount so i'm going to add little things to my set. very neat!!#i have a pie and milk and some other things and stuffs i don't remember lol#//i am going to go now though! not cuz i'm gonna do anything but probably because i'm starting to lose focus here hsfbv#toodles ciao see you some time from now ! :>>
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Guess who's spending Eid away from home again next year lol
#me bitch#i havent went home for eid for 2 years and if you count next year then make it 3#so fyi first day of eid is estimated to be on the 10 of april 2024 which is Wednesday#so my classmates estimate that the classes on monday and tuesday will be online so they started to buy the tickets on Friday (5/4)#or during the weekend basically because yknow festive season = expensive tickets#and i told it to my friend and she chekced the ticket to go to kl and its only 200+ (official app) or 100+ (travel company) on 6/4 at 5am#so she asked me if i want to buy it so we can share transport to airport together and be in the same flight#so i called mom just now but since i need to take the transit to ny hometown it racks up to rm800+ 💀#totalled with the flights back to uni on sunday (14/4) it will be up to rm1600+ 💀#mom sound sorry and even said she can pay if i really want to go back home#but yknow i dont want to burden my parents more (they are the one who usually pay for my flights anyway)#and my friend who lives in the same state as me also doesnt seem to be able to afford the expensive tickets too#so its just me and her in the perantauan again ig lol#but my friend who lives here said to just celebrate eid with her and we can sleep in her room 😂#tbh i dont really mind not going back because as i get older the excitement for eid lessen idk#but i kinda miss the bersalam on the morning of eid with my family so yeah#and if i were to graduate and start working which i cant imagine ngl then i wont be home much anyway#whatever at least i get to fast at home for a week so theres still some W to celebrate#personal.txt
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