#(may still post what i intended to for that lol)

[icantalk710]

Zohran won (first-round 9pt lead notwithstanding) Zohran won (first-round 9pt lead notwithstanding) Zohran won--

[rafaron1223]

SPY x FAMILY's Initial Plot

As previously mentioned in my last post, I found a magazine from 2020 featuring a segment with Endo discussing Spy x Family. In my last post, I shared the drafts of the volume covers, but now I want to dive into the really interesting bit here (that I've found for now lol) that is the manga's initial plot.

Spoilers for the manga ahead, as I'll discuss some of those here.

There are many things one can see when comparing it to the manga's current story, but keep in mind that this is merely an initial version of the story, and some things that are written here may not be indicative of what's to possibly come to the future of the story, but is still good discussion nevertheless to see what could have been.

This story has three parts, let's begin with the first:

So we can already see here that "A" aka Loid is a lot different in this version compared to what we have now. He retains his womanizing skills but is not a very good spy. Which is an interesting thing to do, but I just kind of think of Daybreak when I hear "not a good spy" lol. Though I got no idea if Daybreak has any charming skills in the SxF world lol. In any case, I think it would have been interesting to see how a less-skilled version of Loid would solve the conflicts that the current Loid has faced so far.

Another part is how this version Operation Strix (which more or less has the same goal) and the formation of the Forger Family was going to be handled. As this version of Loid was unfit to take on the mission, it was instead going to be assigned to another agent with an actual family. But because of Loid wanting to take credit for the mission, he decides to create his own family. I think seeing Loid acting more selfishly like this is very fascinating, as it's something I can't really see current Loid doing.

Also, Endo having Loid start creating the family by finding a wife first is an interesting choice, but I can see why he went for the child in the current version. It's a much stronger start.

Now we move on to the second part:

"B" aka Yor is very interesting to compare to her current version. Her reason for becoming an assassin is very different here, with Yor on a revenge quest to find the person who killed her family, which is part of the reason why she decides to stick with Loid. But aspects like her secretly desiring a normal life and falling for Loid during their first meeting are the same (though the idea of Loid immediately flirting with her is very funny). There is also Yor working as an office lady, which seems pretty similar to her city hall job. I remember Endo saying in the EYES ONLY fanbook that she was originally a janitor, perhaps this script was written after he scrapped that idea?

As a side note, knowing that Yuri's character was simply going to be just "Yor's brother" before Endo combined him with the SSS officer hunting Twilight by the time he got to chapter 10, I wonder how he would have played into this version of the story.

And for the third and final part:

To start, it seems like Endo always intended to set this story in a post-war era. He may have already mentioned it before in other media, but I can't remember, someone please remind me 😂

As for "C" aka Anya, there's a lot going on here. Usually we don't get a lot of Anya's backstory, so getting this draft version is really cool to see. In the current story, we never know what the lab is and how exactly Anya managed to escape it, but this version explains that she is a government experiment (which at this point I'm pretty sure we all think this lol) and escaped the lab with her telepathy. Reading how the orphanage she stays at afterward feels pretty similar to the condition we see it in chapter 1, but I imagine that's why Endo had some ideas to draw her as sickly at the start. Also interesting to note that she instinctively knew that it was a good place to hide from the government. For however old she's supposed to be, she's a pretty clever girl.

Anya also missing her parents seems to be an aspect of her character that remains in the current version of the story, though it's more about her mother than both of her parents.

Later, when Loid comes to the orphanage to adopt, pretty much the same scenes play out except that Anya hears the name of her parents in Loid's mind (or Yor's, seems like there was a possibility of her being there with him), which motivates her to get adopted by him, thus completing this pseudo family.

It's interesting that this version of Anya remembers her parents' names while our current Anya doesn't seem to at all (as far as we know). Makes me wonder if this version of Anya was slightly older, perhaps being an actual 6-year-old's age if the school admission plotline was a thing during the writing of this plot.

Endo has also stated in the EYES ONLY fanbook that Anya was originally going to have some sort of superpowers, and seeing the combination of telepathy and a little bit of telekinesis is wild. I wonder if Endo will ever revisit telekinesis and give it to Anya later down the line, but I'm not sure if I'd like that.

It also seems like Loid would have been slightly aware of Anya's abilities, but brushed it aside.

Regarding the final line of the plot: "C"'s target is a lieutenant general. It's a simple line, but there's nothing we can go off from here I think. But knowing that this version of the story states that Anya's experiments were headed by the government, I can imagine her remembering a particular figurehead from there, that being this lieutenant general.

All in all, I really enjoyed having to translate, read, and share this draft version of the story! Getting to see Endo-sensei's older versions of the characters we know as the Forger Family w

as super cool to see! The next post related to this will hopefully be the last, the entire 6 page interview with Endo-sensei, but I promise to deliver! Thank you for your patience, and I hope to see you guys next post!

[auren-zagarra]

Your psychological analyses are so cool to read! Normally I'd skip something like that but it caught my eye since you're in the profession and I'm more receptive to that (It doesn't help that I have the same opinion as your conclusions and while people can think what they want....it's satisfying to feel like you're right and have proof lol).

Would you consider doing an analysis on Jamil sometime? He's my fave and I'd like to understand his mind a bit better. And maybe you could make an educated guess on what he'll do in the future (like will he continue staying a servant, will he break free from it, will he keep contact with Kalim? I'd love to see him break away from servitude but still work for Kalim in a good position, like how Jafar was for the Sultan)?

Jamil Viper: A Psychological Analysis

Disclaimer: Although this post is written by a professional psychologist, it is not intended to serve as a formal diagnosis. Rather, it is a character analysis of Jamil Viper, created out of personal interest and passion for world-building. In psychological practice, accurate assessment should never be based solely on external observation.

Author Notes (edited): Hello! First of all, thank you so much for being so sweet - you're all incredibly kind, and I really appreciate the support. I just want to clarify a few things: Jamil’s analysis was especially challenging because his canon material differs between the Japanese version and the official English translation. So, I decided to stick with the fan-made translation of the original game. That said, his character is quite difficult to diagnose, it was a pain to write that </3. I just want to also clarify something: Jamil’s situation wasn’t one of ownership or slavery. There’s an important distinction between being a slave and being a servant, and I believe his case falls into the latter. That said, it's still a form of systemic abuse. Also, it’s important to recognize that his parents played a significant role in shaping who he is. Their influence likely contributed just as much to his personality and emotional responses as his role within the Asim household.

Jamil Viper is introduced as a dutiful student of the Scarabia dormitory and vice housewarden under Kalim Al-Asim. Jamil is the son of the Viper family, which has served the Al-Asim household for generations. From childhood he was raised explicitly as Kalim’s attendant, trained never to outshine or disobey his master. In practice this means Jamil maintains an outwardly modest and compliant persona: he avoids drawing attention to himself and consistently downplays his own abilities (as he notes in flashbacks, he “could never surpass Kalim” and would “pretend to be incompetent” whenever they played together). Narratively, Jamil initially appears as a loyal, if somewhat reserved, companion to Kalim, however, in the story’s fourth book (Schemer of the Scalding Sands) his long-suppressed resentment bursts forth: he concedes he plotted for years to unseat Kalim and publicly betrays him. In summary, canon portrays Jamil as a complex character shaped by his birthright - ostensibly a humble guard and confidant, but one whose hidden ambition and bitterness drive a dramatic reversal in Book 4.

Personality and Coping Mechanisms

Psychologically, Jamil exemplifies a blend of traits that reflect his upbringing. On the Big Five dimensions, he appears highly conscientious (dutiful, disciplined, tradition-bound) and relatively neurotic (internally anxious and resentful). For example, he meticulously plans his schemes and strictly adheres to social protocol, yet he harbors deep anger and frustration beneath the surface. He is neither overly extroverted nor warmly amicable; rather, he is soft-spoken and measured in public, which can be interpreted as moderate agreeableness mixed with a hidden competitiveness. Openly he defers to Kalim and maintains cordiality, but privately he covets recognition for himself. This duality may reflect Freudian dynamics: Jamil’s superego (internalized duty and family honor) conflicts sharply with his id impulses (rage and ambition).

Psychodynamically, Jamil’s behavior fits with classic defense mechanisms: repression of anger and frustration, and reaction formation. By unconsciously blocking (repressing) unacceptable impulses, he avoids direct confrontation. His loyalty and conscientiousness can be seen as a covert expression of anger, where he over-compensates with dutiful service (a form of reaction formation). Anna Freud’s definition notes that such defenses are “unconscious resources” the ego uses to reduce internal conflict. For example, Jamil may sublimate his anger into work and organization; by exerting rigid control over his duties he gains a sense of agency in an otherwise powerless role. Cognitively, he likely maintains schemas (core beliefs) of inferiority and duty, which shape his interpretation of events. When Kalim’s behavior upsets him, Jamil might use rationalization or justification to cope (e.g. reminding himself it’s his duty). In short, psychological theory suggests Jamil copes by erecting internal barriers and strictly controlling his outer world, keeping his true feelings buried beneath a calm facade.

A Life of Servitude: Trauma and Its Effects

Jamil’s upbringing meets the definition of chronic childhood trauma. Generations of Vipers have effectively lived under a hereditary servitude contract to the Asim family, and Jamil himself has known no other life. In clinical terms, prolonged exposure to such inescapable stress in childhood (akin to slavery or trafficking) predisposes a person to complex PTSD (CPTSD). According to ICD-11, CPTSD arises from prolonged or repetitive trauma from which escape is impossible - explicitly, authoritative sources list slavery and childhood abuse as triggers for CPTSD. Symptoms of CPTSD include persistent negative self-concept, emotional dysregulation, and difficulties in relationships. Jamil’s behavior aligns with these: he often feels worthless or trapped by fate (a negative self-view), shows intense anger when pushed but must hold it in (emotion dysregulation), and struggles to form normal peer relationships outside duty.

Learned helplessness also describes Jamil’s condition. Psychologist Martin Seligman showed that when subjects endure repeated, uncontrollable aversive events, they eventually stop trying to change their situation. Jamil has been “subjected to Kalim’s carefree whims” for years with no real power to refuse; he may have learned that resistance is futile. Thus he often simply complies, suppressing his own needs (which is consistent with learned helplessness and with repression). Over time, this could internalize into chronic stress and depression. In sum, Jamil’s servitude is a form of developmental trauma: it likely imposed persistent stress hormones in youth, disrupted normal family roles, and taught him to expect lack of control. Psychological research shows such trauma can cause long-term changes in self-esteem and mood; for example, people with CPTSD often harbor deep shame and guilt over “failing” or “not doing enough”. In essence, his life resembles a cycle of trauma: he was never free to refuse tasks, learned helplessness made him passive, and the chronic abuse of status lowered his self-concept - all factors that theory links to complex trauma outcomes.

Manipulation

In the events of Book 4, Jamil’s darker side emerges as he actively manipulates others to achieve his goals. Canonically, he hypnotizes the protagonist and even classmates to remain in Scarabia and remove obstacles to his plans. Psychologically, these actions exemplify Machiavellianism. Machiavellianism is defined as a personality trait marked by cynicism, self-interest, and strategic manipulation of others. High Machs “lack empathy” and see others as means to an end. Jamil’s calculated use of magic to control peers aligns with this: he calmly bends others’ will without overt remorse, and he prioritizes his objectives above their autonomy. His demeanor during manipulation is unemotional and goal-oriented, much like the textbook “ruthless and self-centered willingness to exploit others” seen in high Machiavellians.

Possible Diagnosis

His chronic childhood trauma and internalization of servitude suggest complex PTSD (ICD-11). CPTSD is characterized by the core PTSD symptoms (re-experiencing, avoidance, hypervigilance) plus enduring disturbances in self-organization. In Jamil’s case, the prolonged nature of his servile life (listed as an example trauma in ICD-11) likely led to chronic negative self-concept and interpersonal difficulties. Thus an ICD-11 diagnosis of CPTSD (code 6B41) is plausible: he shows affect dysregulation (repressed anger that flares), shame and guilt, and persistent relational issues. Under DSM-5, these symptoms might partly map to PTSD or an unspecified trauma and stressor-related disorder, but CPTSD is a closer fit due to its long-term scope.

Personality-wise, Jamil exhibits subclinical dark traits. He demonstrates entitlement and exploitation (mirroring Cluster B narcissism), yet lacks grandiose flamboyance. He also shows hyper-conscientiousness about duty and order - features that could hint at Obsessive-Compulsive Personality tendencies - though his motivations are rooted more in fear and shame than mere rigidity. We can say Jamil’s profile aligns most closely with trauma-related disorder criteria and some personality disorder traits (notably narcissistic/dark traits).

In summary: Complex PTSD is the most fitting diagnostic framework, supplemented by subclinical narcissistic and Machiavellian traits, all rooted in long-term emotional trauma, identity suppression, and chronic stress from a life of servitude.

[ammoknightsofficial]

Translating the Dev's Headcanon Spread for Kyle's Family

Alright, so, I've gotten my hands on the Monster Hunter Stories 2 Art Book! That means it's time to translate This Image, piece by piece! The text on this is quite small, and the halftones can interfere with legibility at times, but I managed, for the most part. I'll be including notes for each section, particularly anything that may seem like an odd or interesting choice, for Maximum Transparency!

Everything's Under the Cut!! Have fun!

母：優しく穏やかな女性 // The Mother of The Family. A Loving, Gentle, and Quiet Woman.

I've chosen to write this in full sentences, rather than the original format, since that feels easier to communicate. You may notice that "Gentle" is both Green and Blue, and that's because 優しく and 穏やかな both communicate a kind of Gentleness, with 優しく being more like "Tender" and 穏やかな being more like "Calm".

カイルがまだ幼い頃に病にかかりこの世を去ってしまう // She Fell Ill when Kyle was Very Young. She never Recovered, and Passed Away when he was still just a Child.

Before I Get Into Translation Notes - I Have Some Thoughts.

I'm going to be fully transparent - this part is one of the main reasons I got the book. I had my suspicions that she was terminally ill and died when he was young, but I didn't want to make any absolute statements until I could properly translate this passage. I had basically no doubts about it, though - this particular scene here is absolutely striking, and communicates what's going on extremely well even if you can't read it. Kyle's too young to understand what's going on. He thinks a flower will make her feel better. Meanwhile, you have the second youngest brother that's just barely old enough to know, and in that horrible point where he understands what's happening, but doesn't know what to do or how to handle it. Then there's the middle child, with enough emotional intelligence to know that comforting the second youngest and not dissuading Kyle's - the youngest of them all - attempts to help is the absolute best course of action here, to keep everyone strong while their mother (tries, and fails to) fight(s) her Terminal Illness. It's really amazing character work, all in one simple image.

This explains a lot about Kyle's actions during the course of the story. It's kind of difficult for a lot of people to understand why he reacts the way he does to his father getting injured, but with the context that he watched his mom die of a Terminal Illness when he was practically just a baby, and was powerless to do anything about it... It really makes sense, doesn't it? On a personal level, I mean. It also puts this post-game line into some new perspective...

"I'm not putting on a brave face" is such particular wording, and such a particular reassurance to give. He's had to before, and the way he's saying this almost implies - to me, at least - that maybe the player character is intended to, perhaps, know about that bit of history. That's all Speculation, though - I just find it an incredibly interesting string of implications.

As for Translation Notes...

The main thing that may seem out of place is the fact that "She never Recovered" is in both Red and Green. That's actually nothing special, it's just the fact that her illness and her death are being linked together in this passage. She died because of her illness - not because she got, I don't know, eaten by a dragon or something later, in some odd unrelated event. She was Terminally Ill, emphasis on Terminal.

カイル家族イメージ　―　作中には出てこない設定イマージです // Headcanons about Kyle's Family - These are Characters + Character-Establishing Headcanons that Do Not Appear in the Story.

Apologies for putting the Document Title all the way down here. I wanted to talk about Kyle's mom first, lol. I've already explained my reasoning for translating イメージ as Headcanon. I don't think anything else is all that noteworthy.

A Chart Depicting the Developers' Ideas for What the (Living Members of the) Family Looks Like. In Birth Order, we have...

長男：真面目・優等生　―　23年

First-Born: Serious + An Honor Student - 23 Y.O.

次男：自信家・明るい　―　21年

Second-Born: Self-Confident + Cheerful - 21 Y.O.

三男：優しい・賢い　―　18年

Third-Born: Kind + Wise - 18 Y.O.

四男：勝気・負けず嫌い　―　16年

Fourth-Born: Determined + Hates Losing - 16 Y.O.

Me, personally, I think the birth order sounds right, but I'm not a huge fan of how young everyone is. The Fourth-Born looks 19-21 to me, the Third-Born looks in their mid-20s, so on and so forth. But that's partially just the fact that I, myself, am currently in my 20s, and generally really prefer writing + drawing adults. Straight up, I clocked Kyle as being at least 18 when I was doing my playthrough of the game, but this image seems to imply he's about 15. Extremely weird thought to me. I will personally continue writing him as an adult, and his siblings as generally way older than the Devs are estimating. That has no bearing on this piece of Dubious-Canon, however, just something I wanted to mention as a bit of an oddity to me.

Also, the second Kanji in the Birth Orders actually specifies that they're all sons (男), but I'm using the Gender Neutral forms of the Birth Order terms just because I find that more comfortable and less clunky, personally. No other reason.

And, no, I don't really know what that bit of handwriting next to the Third-Born's head is. I also currently cannot fully decipher what this passage (originally below the Headcanon Spread) means, though that's likely just a Skill Issue.

If I figure it out, I'll likely Reblog this Post with an Update, but for now, I think I've covered what I can.

Thanks for Reading!! Hopefully you found this interesting, and maybe you found it useful!! The print on this spread was really, really small, and at times quite frustrating to decipher - hell, I just straight up gave up on the above passage - so any comments or compliments in the notes will be appreciated!!

[unhonouredone]

𝘍𝘐𝘟𝘐𝘕𝘎 𝘐𝘛 - Introductions: TOKYO

𝙢𝙪𝙡𝙩𝙞𝙥𝙡𝙚!𝙟𝙟𝙠 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙨 𝙭 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧 𝙎𝙈𝘼𝙐

series masterlist

last part: KYOTO | next part: Chapter 1

Ah...yes the two very responsible and adult teachers at Tokyo Jujutsu High

(Well Geto is quite mature but we know he is quite the menace as well when he wants to be)

Nanami is not an official teacher but since he is Yuji's mentor, he was permitted and begged to be in the school group chat!

As we know Y/n ain't quite the fan of Gojo (hmm...nope still no clue why!) BUT he seems to be oblivious to the reasoning (as well as delusional to a point)

Everyone else knows tho

Nanami and Y/n were very close classmates and friends before Nanami left to live his normal life for a while. Y/n soon after left to Kyoto, but they have been keeping in touch! Perhaps this is a good opportunity to reconnect more since they'll soon both be looking after Yuji now, hm?

Geto and Y/n were never THAT close but still okay friends until things started escalating in the late 2000s (yk what)

Let's for now say that Geto owes a lot of gratitude to Y/n

Gojo tried to follow Y/n like 10+ times a day for some time but got blocked (he still thinks Y/n stalks his profile)

Nanami has an ig because Yuji pestered him long and hard! He only posted a picture of his favourite bakery. All the follows came from Yuji who had tagged Nanami's hand in a picture lol

Geto posts like once in a blue moon. All his followers are praying and manifesting for a proper selfie.

The Tokyo students aren't the biggest fans of their Kyoto counterparts BUT!! The second years swear up and down that their cool and quirky teacher is not bad at all!

Megumi actually is the only student who is allowed to follow Y/n because le gasp! They were pretty present when Gojo took Megumi and Tsumiki as his hosta- foster kids. Yeah lol Until 2011 of course (Y/n and Megumi meet up pretty frequently, but Megumi won't tell that to Gojo, or even Geto for that matter)

Yuji and Nobara are very excited to meet Y/n!! It's like their meeting an idol or a mystical being (Toge and Panda are really selling it)

Yuji, Megumi and Nobara all have matching pfps! Again we may see how persistent Yuji can be lol

Nobara would have much rather matched with Maki but alas...

Toge loves trolling😭 his account is mostly ironic content but sometimes he posts some genuine things

Panda got famous because people thought his account was a panda [species] fan account...

A/n: UGH sorry this took me longer than intended😭 BUT yesterday we finally wrapped up a huge 6 month project and I also held my presentation to show what I've learned during the last year (got the perfect score hahaha) Summer is almost here so I can focus on this story pretty well!!!＼(^_^)／ ANYWAY as you can see SUGURU IS HERE🙏 We will also be meeting more characters as we go and some of them might be surprising, others not! Hope you are hooked~

[pierroettie]

TWEWY SWAP AU 4/4

SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT they are finally here !!

click to read more !!!!

it's been too long since I've written the last post I lowkey forgot what I'm doing

Beat Bito (swapped with Shiki)

Beat's entry fee- Rhyme's memory of him- is still the same, but Rhyme is no longer a player. Beat would be a lot more upbeat (no pun intended) since Rhyme is still alive. But under that, Beat would struggle with motivation. Dying after an outburst with his family, and dying alone this time, no longer would Beat have the drive to get through the reaper's game to save Rhyme, since she's perfectly fine. I don't think Beat would be depressed enough to the point of being suicidal and giving up completely, but I do think he'd struggle with knowing what he wants and what his goal even is in the first place. Beat would struggle with more self deprecation but swallow it down, and at the end of week one he'd be able to come to terms with himself and move forward.

Beat would encounter Rhyme in the rg, acting as if she didn't just have her brother up and die. He'd get pretty worked up about it before realizing that her memories are gone. Rhyme would feel as though some huge piece of her was missing. After seeing her express this, Beat would collect the courage to beat the game and repair his relationship with his sister.

Beat and Joshua would be reluctant partners who eventually warm up to each other throughout the week. They're like street smarts and book smarts duo. This au doesn't have any specific ships in it though I will say beatjosh may have been my inspiration for making this in the first place lol... but I also just liked the idea of exploring different character dynamics. I don't think Josh can escape the priss kid nickname regardless of what universe he's in.

Design Notes:

For Beat, if you squint you'll see he's wearing like 3 layers but they're all sleeveless lol. I added some pins on his vest as a reference to Shikis design. I gave him pants and changes his shoes a little. Most of my design work for him was purely cosmetic and not for any particular reason.

For Rhyme, the art may look a little off model but she didn't have any forward facing sprites for me to base her off of but shhhhh it's fine. I have her wearing a school uniform with her iconic necklace & beanie since I think it makes most sense for the scenes for her in the rg to be with friends after school. Her cardigan is a duller version of her original sweater's color just so she still looks like herself. The cardigan is also similarly structured to the jacket I gave Beat.

-

That's it for the initial posts! I'm of course planning on making some more content and I'll make another post covering the rest of the swaps for all the reaper's and other background characters so look out for that !! thank you all so much for the support so far!!! love you alll.....

[zenith-astral]

already a year

okay, so I had a different project for this, but I still wanted to say something about it here

today is the one year anniversary of my very first post of my little dumbass on the internet

and I wanted to bring attention to some of my favorites on this post, but in my project I may be mentioning more than 50 people lol

@grinnames I’m starting with you. you are a really cool person and I never really made anything for you, but I knew of your god box au and I was intending to draw something for it for a while. But when I dived back in and saw rtv, I freaked. That shit is so crazzzzyyy I love it so much!!! I love the humor as well in it, and I hope it continues! Keep going man, you’re doing awesome nonetheless of drawing or not. You’re one of my new favorites btw! Btw, for the writing I talked about that one post before I disappeared, I’m already two to three chapters in the making already, thank you so much. And you’re right. May Micheals w’s be many and his L’s few! *slowly walks up and looks at you different gremlin style ominously* …you ARE going to bring him back, right?

@strange0-0storm the man of the tumblr sexy man smg8! You have gotta be the first person on the planet of tumblr when I first came on. You had a sick art style and an even more exctatic?? oc, and you had me HOOKED on the arrival. I don’t freakin care if you’re interested in persona five, or literally anything else, I will scroll through your thing over and over again just to be reminded how cool you are and how far you’ve gotten!

@rat-n-atty you have a very special place in my heart, I personally love you (platonically), being one of the very first mutuals I had and one of the mutuals that I was the most shocked. You are still really cool, and you have an amazing gift; don’t let others try to degrade your personality or life, and don’t get too caught up in what the world has to say about you. You are so amazing!

@purpdrawsthings you silly Billy! I remember our first little interaction being that one poster-style thing of where you drew so many amazing people including my silly little Jade! (Which I allegedly may have asked you first) I must admit, I freaked out that day when I saw on my email “purpledrawsthings mentioned you in a post!” I thought that was so crazy, then I knew I wanted to draw for you, and quite honestly, be your friend. You are still so cool and I won’t forget your silliness and- oh btw ur brainwashed au is so cool u introduced me to Hamilton’s music lol, but I won’t forget your silliness and your amazing charm!

@echostarsys you, are also one of my favorite mutuals, straight after atlas, actually. I think you showed up on her blogs and I was like why not follow another person, but seriously, you’re amazing too. I got to know you a bit better on discord (sorry for all y’all I got my computer taken from me) and I didn’t understand some things, but you helped me see it and I just grew to love your talent and your conversations! I wish I had my cpu back so I could use discord again but let’s just wait and enjoy each others time!

@libbytwq YOU! You are literally one of the very vip cool people I follow, and when I first started to interact with you, I was so intrigued by the style of Libby and LE, I thought that was so cool and crazy, and I wanted to draw for you (like I always do) but seriously with all the silly lore you have of your silly lesbian entity makes me wanna freak outttt! I was genuinely inspired and you helped me get through some stuff I might have never seen myself. I am still to finish drawing the “weed brownie” scenario, I just forgot to work on it lol

@its-a-me-mango you mlp fan guy. I honestly- oh yeah I remember now, I drew your profile picture on an index card and something stupid kinda stuck with me, the #they told me to get real so I turned into paper, kinda thing, and then I just figured, draw for this silly guy again. You have gotta be one of the funniest ppl on discord at least when I was there, and I love how silly you are with the tv man, the burger guy, and just the fans you interact with! You are awesome sauce! Also, you should stop eating or whatever you do with your “high glue” or smth, its unprofessional for a donktor-

@coralalala64 I remember when your ThAnGs took the tumblr by storm, and by my life, I still need to draw them- but you have an amazing talent (like I mean to everyone else) and especially reactions, I actually wanted to look at your atyle and figure out how you get the expressions so well! I’m still lowkey a bit crazy about your drawings and your artstyle being so chibi and all, but really keep up your good work! But no pressure, take your time.

aaaand @tiredsmashbros your silly burger guy got into my freaking head man. I love the burger haven and how silly things can get on the server, I used to flip through the channels like I was in five nights at Freddy’s when I had my computer, and I really didn’t want to miss out on anything. Congrats on your own anniversary, and the comics you just blasted into your account got me freaking out! Congratulations on passing college? too, I’m still trying to get out of high school lol. I am, waiting for lipbite/j but I’ll be there when you’re ready. You’re an amazing person, and seriously, you’re fun. Also, I am curious how did you make your book hard copy and all? I’m kinda, writing my own story-

and for the little people who might want a lil spoiler for my silly little project

fine ig

Here y’all go, just the silly lil intro

but seriously for all of you amazing people metioned and not, I really appreciate you guys, helping me personally and just making me laugh when I needed it, and for non-mutuals, I really hope we could be friends!

(I was supposed to post this yesterday)

[cedarwrought]

lin ling, yang cheng, and exploitation (because their similarities are insane . to me .)

(spoilers for ep 5 below)

its interesting how li haolin is framing our "perfect heroes" (lin ling and presumably yang cheng taking roles in the top 10) to be the ideal victims tbh. both are incredibly isolated and lonely without a proper support system, therefore relying on an easy crutch offered by hero society.

lin ling found his motivation (however parasocial it may be) through watching xiao yueqing in her hero persona and creating advertisements for her (which he refers to as a "labor of love" in ep.1), and ultimately found fulfillment to be a hero after realizing he wanted to protect those he cared for. (i have my gripes with how moon was treated but i addressed that in a previous post)

(personally, i'm not fond of the way his motivation seems soley to revolve around becoming a sword for those he loves as it's still quite self-sacrificial and the hero system will eat him alive. he may not be pressured to be "perfect," but when you are only a single person the public's demands will tear you apart as they project all their grievances onto you, regardless of whether or not it's reasonable)

similarly, yang cheng's motivation also revolves around another hero. (yes he has a crush on a girl, but it's not like her existence kept him going. he's just extremely lonely and self isolated and doesn't know what to do with himself lol)

e-soul saving him at a young age after undergoing a traumatic event (watching his parents die violently in front of him and nearly getting abducted himself) and became the sole thing that kept him going. he doesn't even consider himself worth saving, really, because he says he just wants to be able to face e-soul proudly. when the kid assumes he wanted to be a hero like e-soul, he dismisses it as impossible, and says there's no point in going to the event because there's no way e-soul would notice someone like him.

(sound familiar? lin ling tells his boss that his ad is effective because it shows even "nobodies like him" can be heroes. the thing is, even though lin ling said it to persuade his boss, he never really thought he could be a hero until the fight with his boss, but even then it was moreso because of his role as nice than rather being a hero himself. that doesn't happen until the end of his arc in ep. 4).

when yang cheng does get a taste of trust value and what heroism can offer, he's immediately cornered by the ceo's son who had judged the e-soul competition. even though the guy's initially set up to be a love-rival, we're quickly reminded that he's a businessman's son- one that intends to poach this viral underdog.

li haolin's really trying to hone in on the fact that the hero system's exploitative of vulnerable people and that exploitation isn't an infection of the hero system, but a symptom itself (and i am so here for it)

[yuurivoice]

A few quick update notes because idk where to conveniently post all of this publicly.

Still mowing through Cameos. I'm about 1/5 of the way through them. Will be working late tonight and tomorrow.

Charlie 4/20 & Bunny Finn Easter probably not happening, or coming later than intended because I've been fighting my brain and body the past week and shit just is not happening on time.

I'm trying to work around scheduled downtime in the coming days as my current booth needs to be disassembled and the new big boy booth is assembled on Thursday. Trying to receive a big ass shipment has also proven complicated, so that's fun!

Other shit still in the pipeline, but maybe there'll be one thing scheduled in the coming days that we can scream about.

Anywho, hell of a time for my shit to go off the rails, this is why I don't like taking commissions at all, even if they're simple...because life happens and I don't like keeping people waiting when my brain and body are so unreliable sometimes.

Most people were able to follow the rules, and those who didn't haven't gone so far out of bounds that I needed to outright reject any of the Cameos, but it definitely does add to the amount of thinking required. The entire reason I went the Cameo message route is because I can pretty easily just see a two sentence prompt and improvise an in-character message covering that subject while keeping it fresh and unique to each character. I literally had someone use the same prompt for three characters and surprise, I could easily give them all a unique vibe without it sounding too similar...hell yeah.

It has largely been a good, fun experience, I just struggle with the sheer mass of all of them (there's 70+ now) and next time I may have to limit the amount of them if there's any hope for me to actually keep turnaround times manageable.

That's a lot of words for what probably sounds like the opposite of a problem (it is a very good problem to have, obviously) but I just wanted folks to know I'm not slapping these on a printing press and churning them out, or reusing sound bytes for similar prompts, etc. Each one is unique and I try to keep a fresh slate in my brain when I tackle them to avoid two people getting a thing that is too similar.

So while yeah, those quick turnaround times were REALLY AMBITIOUS AND UNREALISTIC lol the slower time allows me to do my best and make sure people get a real genuine take out of the character. If I sat down for six hours and did as many as I could, I think by the third hour I would find myself struggling to avoid saying the same shit again and again because many people want similar things. The biggest one, comfort. Because shit is scary and times are hard and a lot of folks feel like they're fighting and fighting and fighting and don't see a light at the end of the tunnel. So I don't want to just...have a bunch of talking points delivered the same way a dozen times within an hour. I want to give y'all something better than that, at least.

Again, the Cameos were an experiment, so I expected some hiccups along the way. It hasn't been bad at all, and it really is nice to be able to give people the exact thing they need to hear at the moment. There's just a lot of it!

Whew. Big yap. Enough procrastination. Thanks for your patience!

[infamous-if]

Dec ✮ 12 ✮ 2024 – update

Part of me hates doing these mostly because it's a whole lotta nothing and me just repeating everything I said the last update (lol) but I do like doing it because I like keeping people updated, even if it's a non-update. I may sound like a broken record (pun not intended) but I know a lot of people don't catch my updates every time so it's nice to just keep people informed yk yk

✮ — Part 2 + rewrite

Fun fact: I had written an entire essay about my excitement for the rewrite and chapter 3 and beyond but it got too long!

It boiled down to me wondering why I'm so excited for this rewrite and realizing it's because I feel comfortable enough to approach it with complete creative freedom. I wrote the first iteration of the demo with the constant worries swimming in my head like "I hope people understand what I'm trying to say here" and "I hope this situation is being read the way I intended for it to be read." And I think I sort of had those thoughts tenfold while writing Part 2. If you paid attention, you can probably see where I was trying to shut down certain discussions in the narrative lmao

Recently I had a tiny epiphany and reminded myself that it's not always about what I intend to write, but what is being understood by each reader. And yes this is basic writing 101 but let me have this moment of clarity okay. Embracing that means I can proceed with Infamous without holding back and sticking to my guns in regards to what I want for this story aka I'm just going to write what I write and like....not worry about the rest you feel (while of course integrating the common critiques and suggestions and improving on the things Infamous falls short in—I am not Shakespeare lmao)

ANYWAY my point is that I'm excited to fix up the demo !!! and just go back to it with complete confidence in myself and write whatever the heck feels right to me (and write the rest of the story lolol) and return with a better story than I have now for everyone!!

✮ — December will be for

planning what I'm going to improve and squeezing that in a reworked outline so it can flow much better narratively.

Outlining Chapter 3 and hopefully have the bare bones first draft drafted up which is mostly just be writing blocks of descriptions

I'm not sure I'll have anything substantial to justify looking for beta testers so soon yet but maybe!

work on my spice writing babey writing/reading spice makes me actually physically recoil but im determined to get better! which reminds me to finish the 6k follower gifts!

And also take a small breather because I am moving!

✮ — Patreon

I've already mentioned this on Patreon and a few times on here, but I do want to reiterate that Patreon content is coming out in bulk this month, in case anyone was wondering why I'm not posting as frequently. The content is still the same in terms of the quantity, it just won't be released every few days! thank you guys for being understanding of that <3

✮ —

My activity has is decreasing little by little due to my move but I do read every question and try to at least answer one question a day. I get quite a few mentions lately so I have to sort through those since I do get tagged in things, but I miss them due to my notifications. Usually I hope for the best and hope tracking the tag puts it on my dashboard <3 im not ignoring anyone!

That's all for now! Hope everyone has a happy December and Happy Holidays!

[eamour]

Hi i don't know if you'll reply/repost this ask but i really believe what i have to say is needed to help people in the manifestation community i am only sending this to you because you are one of the few active ones with a decent following that can get the word out..

The amount of complications people in this community have brought upon themselves is just infuriating and annoying the amount of creators/blog writers that come up with something new every week are just deceiving and preying on people who want to have a better life if you care i hope you'll post this.

Lies and overcomplications like;

'You shouldn't feel lack' 'don't focus on the 3d' 'know that you have it and go on with your life' 'this is the only way you can manifest' 'don't try to affirm or visualize it won't work its just endlessly affirming' 'feel it know' the amount of 3d and 4d 'live in imagination' is all a bunch of bs what Neville said is not the final! And you all seem to forget that

You can do all that and still get what you want sure! you can manifest this way too but why overcomplicate it?

(Yes there is a possibility that spreading this misinformation may not be necessarily intended to cause harm and might be just a misunderstanding from bloggers as well but it still causes to harm to those who are vulnerable and are just wanting to better their life and learn about manifesting)

None of this matters you are the only one who makes yourself manifest and there are many ways and you can use any way/method the problem on tumblr is people push only one way no you don't need to be fulfilled in imagination or 'know you have it and shut up in order to manifest sure Neville found a good way but its not the only way but the amount of people here who push this as if it's the only way and say if you don't do this you will never manifest are fcking playing with people's time and energy! i'm here to root for how far visualization affirming and robotic affirming goes,just for the average person its just such a quick and easy and 'failproof' way to 'get you desires' you don't need to hate the word 'get it' or something like that you don't have chase after knowledge or understanding to 'finaly manifest', when i went back to watching sammy and just affirming with no care about believe the thoughts no care about things like 3d or 4d no care about fulfilment or doing it to get it or anything like that...I've been carefree i don't worry at all...we are always learning about life and spirituality but you don't need an awakening or some sacred knowledge to manifest

You can read these posts that helped me but please no more,thats it no need to scroll and scroll and search for an answer

You don't need to read it all throughly just get the main idea you're good (most of them are short)

https://www.tumblr.com/imperfect777/744087420843245568/stop-scrolling-on-tumblr-twitter-pinterest-etc?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/miracledarling/715265433528320001/the-key-to-manifesting?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/sp0iledprincess55/744703729957257216/100-proof?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/dreamsintoreality111/672119540555153408/hey-do-you-prefer-to-change-appearance-through?source=share

My tips and experience..

All this time after being kinda obsessed with the void state (don't even get why people renamed the i am state by Neville lol) trying all things but just being lazy giving up restarting and going back to the old way of thinking, thinking 'why i fail' but now looking back and realizing i just got distracted and stopped never persisted .... now i realize how easy it is but what tumblr was doing was just discouraging me all along so many people lied or were misguided and said 'don't endlessly affirm just decide' implying if you try affirming you'll do it endlessly and never have what u want.. and so i listened....i used to watch sammy after a few videos last year i joined tumblr for a few 6 months at some point i was just reading things which have already been said and read..so i quit and decided to delete tumblr to just actually apply because reading the same thing over and over is no use...i'm now watching sammy ingram again so this is what i vouch for, affirming and thoughts watching sammy ingram (if just deciding or knowing seems like its not for you sammy ingram is great and in my opinion if i also just know or decide its mine then by affirming aren't i just reminding myself..'knowing' & 'deciding' in a way too?) again sammy joe dispenza is more helpful compared to tumblr over 6 months... i have logged back after a month typing this rn to help people and will delete my acc today even the creators i used to follow haven't posted in weeks and i urge people to leave tumblr after a certain point please live your life.

posting this for everyone who is currently overcomplicating the law and beating themselves up for not "doing it right". ♡

i want to add something: you can believe in all of these things (such as "feeling it real" instead of "affirming to get") and if it works for you, that’s good! that’s quite literally the law. but if it’s the opposite for you, if you think that it’s too much work and you would rather robotically affirm to get your desire, then do that.

i have seen both sides on tumblr and twitter, and they are both successful. it’s up to you what you want to make work for yourself!!

[sailorscout93]

Okay attempt number 2 at posting why I personally think Galinda Upland is a high masking AuDHD person after I saw a post pegging Elphaba as Autisitic and Galinda as ADHD:

See under the cut

1. She’s very clearly high energy/hyperactive, always busy, never stops talking, the way she talks it seems like that’s how her brain works, just running and running constantly.

2. She speaks what’s on her mind without thinking about how what she says may affect those around her. “You’re green!” It very much gives me “If you’re from Africa why are you white?” From Mean Girls vibes. (And yes, I do think Karen Smith is autistic too lol)

3. She has 2 special interests: being Popular and sorcery. I mean, aside from just being a huge gay flamingo mating dance, Popular also feels like a giant infodumping session of Galinda onto Elphie. She’s sharing all the knowledge she has on one of her favorite topics. The works she puts in to following her hearts desire to be a sorceress, saying how it’s her hearts desire. She would do anything to be able to do magic and I personally think she has the knowledge behind it, even if she doesn’t have the magic ability in her in the way Madame Morrible is looking for. She recognizes that Elphaba was the one who did the magic in the courtyard at Shiz and she begs Elphaba to share how she did it, even though she claims to loathe her. She thinks Elphaba knows something about her special interest that she doesn’t so she MUST find out!

4. I know the suitcases and trunks all her stuff is in is partially because of the lack of closet space in the dorm room but while it seems like everything has its place, drawers are labeled, etc… it’s still very cluttered. She just has SO. MUCH. STUFF. A little bit of hoarding. She cannot bear to get rid of anything because what if she needs it one day?! (I.E. the hat her grandmother made her!)

5. Speaking of the hat. I don’t think she actually hates it. It may not be her style, but her grandma made it for her! When Pfannee pulled the hat out and he and ShenShen started hating on it and Galinda turned around, it took her a moment to read her friend’s tones. You can see for a second her expression looks neutral but contemplative when she’s looking at Pfannee before it changes and she starts to hate on the hat. She had to take a second to read and process her friend’s tone before she responded so she could have the correct reaction her friends were expecting from her.

6. The ‘toss toss’ and ‘leg’ things are both stims. You cannot change my mind.

7. Why is she so high masking? Because her momsie and popsicle conditioned her to hide any trait of hers that could seen as “undesirable” or “unladylike”. She’s Galinda Upland of the Upper Uplands after all! She has a reputation to live up to!

8. After the Ozdust Ballroom night when she and Elphie become friends, she quickly becomes attached to her. Elphie becomes her “safe person” and she develops an attachment to her that I see frequently in neurodiverse people. She always wants to be around her and she is always holding her hand and touching her because she’s so comfortable with Elphaba. She finally has someone she can unmask around.

9. Speaking of Elphie…. Galinda shows some HEAVY Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria in the deleted scene “Elphaba’s Promise”. She is sad and hurt, not that Elphie and Fiyero were doing something without her, but that Elphie “chose” Fiyero to help her rescue the cub, not Galinda. “If you needed someone, you could’ve picked me!” Breaks my heart every time!

10. She seems to have a little bit of rigid thinking when it comes to Dr. Dillamond not being able to pronounce her name. She seems to think if she just keeps repeating the correct way to say it, he’ll eventually get it and not understanding that he’s physically not capable of pronouncing her name correctly because of his lack of upper front teeth, even when it’s explained to her.

11. This last one is very much a stretch (pun not originally intended this time lol) but I’m putting it in too, hypermobility issues are a very high comorbidity with autism and when she’s dancing around during Popular she does a high kick. Could it just be athleticism? Maybe. Could it be a hypermobility thing? Also maybe.

[accio-victuuri]

XZ Album 《我们 WE》 early cpns.

you know we just need a few things to see and it’s a whole bunch of cpns we can produce after 😂😂😂 that’s the magic of being a turtle. lol. we may be interpreting this whole thing wrong but that’s usual when it comes to speculations we make and i think that’s the joy of it.

i’ll start of with this one that made me want to scream and cry:

i mean… shut up…. noooooo… wdym 😭😭😭

why you gotta pull the wei wuxian imagery like that. i’m very very weak for this. the writing mimics that of a red ribbon. of all things. tho the WM here as how fans interpret it and how i think xz intended it to is WM: WǒMen (我们) as in We/Us or WM: We and Me (我和“我们”) (Wǒ hé “Wǒmen”). not to mention that the color scheme of this red is 911005. his bday. everything is intentional.

but still. red ribbon. come on. who can blame us for clowning like this when he makes it so easy. it’s not a secret that the untamed and the role of wwx is important to him career wise and well *ehem* personally *ehem* because of a certain someone. if you don’t wanna look that far then just go with the W as in WANG. lol. and if it’s WM, M flipped is still W. so that’s how transfixed he is with the letter W. i wonder why. 👀

now we move on to the snippets of what the song means & how it’s making us think of wyb’s previous single everything is lovely ( which has a separate cpn too between them )

QQ music said this line connected to the album/song:

“About me, about you, about TA (him/her), or the relationship between people in this big city.”

this is pretty similar to the message of everything is lovely — it’s about appreciating everyone and looking at life and your surroundings as interconnected. they both have that sense in them. what we do and say, it has an effect and we are all related even if it’s a big city we live in. plus the use of TA which does not specify the gender. we love that! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

we get more of an expanded idea too via xzs post of the activity for the release. it mentioned a description. you can substitute the we to us if that reads better to you:

“Some people say that WE are close friends, cats and dogs waiting for us to come home every night are concrete in life.

Some people say that WE make friends with all kinds of emotions... are virtualization hidden inside the heart.

These characters of “ME”, and emotions form different "WE".

We are placed in a prism named "life", where light breaks it down into multi-faceted spaces. We travel through different spaces as lights flow and capture our own colors.

Starting from "Me", feel the intersection related to "Me", and then return to understand "self". What is the "we" behind "Me"?

A trace of emotion, a thing, a friend... The bits and pieces around "Me" all make up "We".

i think if you are someone who have been watching them for a while and the messaging they are sending out then you will see the common theme/connection here. the cats and dogs waiting for us to come home every night. that reminds me of the cpn that they have a cat and dog at home, at some point. and it’s what they want too. the interconnection of you/other people and appreciating everything around you, that’s the vibe i’m getting right now. of course we will know more one we have the song/s and the full lyrics and possibly some backstory from xz.

a coincidence too that the “me and we” is giving the same energy as “ u and i” which is in wyb’s weibo bio. which i know is something UNIQ related but there you go.

what’s more chilling i guess is the “we” was emphasized and used as a caption between them by hui-ge ( cpn about this fansite here which is a primer of sorts but there are other instances aside from what’s there ) which was i have a we / i have us. i mean. come on. too bad they haven’t posted in so long especially because fans were looking too much into them ( cpn about this photo/ post here )

the use of “we” which they have mistakenly said back in 2019 when talking about themselves:

other minor similarities:

* the concept of multiple xz and wyb through something prism/mirror like.

* both xz and ybo using similar captions which is not new but most importantly, starting an activity for fans to participate in. which i’m not sure but possibly other artists do too. but whatever, let’s add that 😂

* and the PINK! because pink is the color of love! what are the chances they will use the same color?

lastly, one of the release dates is 11/19. and as cpfs we have a whole story about that and it’s nice that we get to continue that timeline. cpfs think it’s a confirmation of the importance of this date too ^^

-END.

i surely missed some things on here and that’s fine. if something important comes up i will make a separate post! i’m so excited for this month! xz really blessed us 🥹🥹🥹😅

[scribescrawls]

Sentinel as a Foil to Starscream

Though I think the more intentional foils to Sentinel are meant to be Orion/Optimus and D-16/Megatron in terms of the writers' intention, I think in some ways Starscream and Sentinel do foil each other whether the writers intend it or not and I think they have the potential to foil each other in interesting ways in the future too even if Sentinel is dead if they ever explore TFOne Starscream's character more. Now everything I say is mostly interpretation, inference, and headcanons since we had a total of like 5 minutes of screen time for TFOne Starscream lol so I would like to preface that these are just my personal delulu thoughts. I think what's interesting about the potential parallels between Sentinel and Starscream is that in some ways they may share many similarities, but also greatly diverge in other ways. I think they are cut from the same cloth in a lot of ways. For instance, in terms of similarities I think they share traits of being very prideful, arrogant at times, ambitious, scheming, cunning, vain, and inclined more toward self preservation and can have tendencies of self-interest.

It's kind of ironic and funny that one of the major differences between them is loyalty. In most other continuities Starscream is the one betraying leaders to take power for himself, but in this one its Sentinel who does that. And in some ways TFOne Starscream's actions can be interpreted as showing a very strong sense of loyalty to the 13 Primes. Like instead of trying to make any deals with Sentinel to save his own skin he'd rather choose to live 50 cycles in exile on the dangerous surface in terrible conditions with no energon flowing on the planet and being hunted down like animals by both the Quintessons and Sentinel (even after they get caught he instead curses Sentinel and tries threatening him instead of trying to join Sentinel's side to save himself). Not only that but he and the rest of the High Guard are essentially committing guerilla warfare and still trying to sabotage Sentinel even after 50 cycles of these living conditions. I've mentioned it in other posts, but most people do not simply commit guerilla warfare under those conditions for your average deceased leader. To choose to suffer like that I think potentially indicates the possibility that the High Guard and Starscream cared very much for the 13 Primes to keep fighting to avenge them. So in this way I think they foil each other in that Starscream ironically shows great loyalty to the 13 Primes and their memory while Sentinel shows none.

It's also interesting to note that Sentinel criticizes the 13 Primes mentioning his disdain that he spent half the day watching them losing a war and the other watching them waxing poetic about 'loyalty' and 'honor'. Sentinel seems to not have cared at all or at least very little for their cause and for the Primes. Meanwhile Starscream when talking about who they are mentions that they were the High Guard who witnessed Sentinel's betrayal and saw the Primes fall and that they've been doing whatever they can to sabotage Sentinel. Like to hold such anger at the betrayal implies a certain amount of 'loyalty' and 'honor' to either the cause you were all fighting for against the Quintessons, defending Cybertron, or for the 13 Primes themselves or maybe even all of the above. If Starscream and the rest of the High Guard did not care for these things there would be no reason to be so angry and emotional over the betrayal. Because if they do not care for these things why not join Sentinel and the 'winning' side? But they don't and they're full of anger and vengeance so it means they must care a great deal.

Now you might wonder ‘If Starscream was apparently so loyal to the 13 Primes, why did he not follow Optimus and pledge his loyalty to him since he’s the new Prime actually chosen by Primus and holds the Matrix of Leadership as proof to back it up?” And of course this is just my headcanon, but the reason I think Starscream holds no loyalty to Optimus is because to Starscream Optimus from his point of view has not proven himself as a leader worth following and has not done enough to win Starscream’s loyalty in his eyes (I might make a separate post about why Starscream thinks this about Optimus later but this post is already getting very long so I leave that for another time lol, also I would like to note that yes I do personally think Orion was worthy of being a Prime and holding the Matrix but I'm discussing things from specific character perspectives in this post). I feel like to Starscream just having the title of Prime is not enough even if you were chosen by Primus himself. He strikes me as a skeptic who wants to see proof that you deserve the title and are worthy of it before he’s willing to follow you. And considering the movie portrays the 13 Primes in this continuity as honorable leaders who live up to their title and names, I think their deeds and actions proved that they were worthy leaders worth following for Starscream. I think this is one of the potential great contrasts between Starscream and Sentinel in TFOne. Whereas Sentinel’s loyalty will never be to anyone except himself, Starscream’s loyalty is also to himself but it can be extended to others.

However, to gain Starscream’s true loyalty I believe is very difficult but once you have it I think he’d go to great lengths for you even so far as going into exile and using all his wits to scheme/keep you alive/do anything to see your side wins/succeeds. I personally believe that he followed the 13 Primes not because they were Primes but because of who they were as people. So even if Optimus is a true Prime chosen by Primus it means nothing to Starscream. I feel like Starscream is the kind of person who’s audacious enough to tell god to his face that he thinks he made a stupid ass decision if he truly thinks so and will elect to ignore the decision if he disagrees with it. It’s arrogance bordering on hubris that comes with both pros and cons. On one hand, it’s a good thing to not just blindly follow anyone just because they have the title and it’s important that there is someone there who will point out a leader’s blind spots or poor decisions even if the leader most of the time makes good decisions. On the other hand, this arrogance also potentially results in pig headed stubbornness when you’re convinced you’re right even if you’re wrong.

I don’t think Megatron at this point in time has Starscream’s true loyalty either. Not that he’s already planning to betray Megatron since I think he actually believes Megatron has the potential to be a leader worth following, but that Megatron only holds his tentative loyalty. I think Megatron won major points in Starscream’s eyes in succeeding to kill Sentinel but I think Starscream will only follow Megatron so long as he deems Megatron is living up to his role as leader and I think unlike other members of the High Guard he’s the most skeptical and critical of Megatron’s inexperience in war and leadership even if he holds belief in Megatron’s potential at the same time.

This is not to say that I think Starscream is incapable of betrayal. I think he very much is but I think the reasons that would push this version of Starscream to betray someone are different. I think the reason why TFOne Starscream never tried to betray the 13 Primes to gain power in this version is because he saw no reason to. Yeah you guys haven't won the war against the Quintessons, but if the leaders are competent and you care about them and they care about you, you feel like you're all in this together and have a good work environment. I don't think Starscream was unambitious, I think he was very ambitious considering he made it all the way to leader of the High Guard, but I like to think he was satisfied with his life pre-Sentinel betrayal and therefore had nothing larger to prove as he'd accomplished a lot at that point. Leader of the High Guard working directly with the Primes, known as legendary warriors and defenders of Iacon, and noteworthy enough that you are recorded in history in the archives that Orion notes he read about them and Bee knows them both by name and face to be able to point them out individually from each other. It is prestigious even if the job may be dangerous.

And even the Decepticon logo in my opinion has a very personal meaning for the High Guard different than for Megatron/D-16. Because to the High Guard Megatronus Prime was not just a figure they heard great stories about. Megatronus was someone they probably fought side by side with, someone they knew personally. They probably talked with Megatronus, made jokes together, shared meals while out on campaign fighting Quintessons, risked their lives in battle fighting together. To them having Megatronus' face branded on them is probably not simply the way a fan picks their favorite superhero as their logo for a movement, rather to the High Guard the action to them probably feels closer to remembering a beloved deceased friend and comrade-in-arms they admired. The branding mark probably symbolizes multiple meanings for them. For many it probably also symbolizes how they'll never forget him and will always remember him carrying him with them in every battle. And I personally don't think this contradicts them believing the age of Primes is over. I think for the High Guard they hold a certain reverence for the original 13 Primes and only the original 13 Primes. But the "Age of Primes" for them has ended because their leaders/friends are all dead and are never coming back.

I think one interesting angle they could potentially go with if Starscream decides to betray Megatron and try to kill him in the future is if he thinks Megatron’s way of leadership and decision making down the line have become a threat to Starscream's life and the lives of others under his command. Because the High Guard have been fighting together long before the start of the movie I think it opens for the fun possibility that Starscream cares about the members of the High Guard to a degree and there is a certain bond that forms from spending so much time fighting side by side together even if you may get on each others' nerves at times. Therefore I think it'd be interesting if he betrays Megatron trying to kill him in a warped way of trying to save both himself and those he cares for. A 'you're going to get us all killed and I won't wait around for it to happen. I did not spend 50 cycles trying to keep as many people alive for you to throw it all away' sentiment.

It would even be more gut-wrenching if in the beginning of them working together Megatron and Starscream had grown to have a somewhat amicable working relationship with Starscream as a mentor-like figure guiding him and they became almost somewhat friends before things start devolving and fracturing as time passes. Starscream thinking something along the lines of 'It's simple math. You kill one to save the larger number of people even if it hurts to do so. Someone has to make the ruthless and hard decisions. There's no room for sentimentality in war. I have to think of the bigger picture.' And even worse if the betrayal and attempt to kill Megatron fails and Megatron feels like he got betrayed by someone close to him again thinking Starscream is just like Sentinel trying to gain power and leadership for his own selfish ambitions and vanity. Meanwhile Starscream feeling like he's been driven to a point where he has to go to extremes because he thinks Megatron won't listen to anyone but himself and thinks Megatron is blinded by selfish personal desires like Sentinel that led to Cybertron being almost doomed because of shortsightedness throwing away lives of their own troops for little gain just like Sentinel did. Sentinel being the ghost who haunts their narrative and plays on both their traumas of the ways Sentinel's betrayal affected them warping their perceptions of each other. For Megatron it's being betrayed by someone who he thought was on his side again/trusted, while Starscream feels Megatron will doom them and the entire planet through his reckless and shortsighted plans to feed his own personal selfish desires/grudges. Large parts of both their personalities differ from Sentinel, but I think if things hit this breaking point they will only interpret each other's behavior through a 'Sentinel lens' if that makes sense seeing only the worst parts of each other.

I got a little sidetracked lol, but back to Sentinel and Starscream being foils I think even the ways their vanity is displayed demonstrate their differences. Sentinel has his statues of himself and Starscream has a whole throne built for himself. They both show signs of vanity and self-importance. However, Sentinel's statues are pristine golden statues essentially obtained through selling out your own species to the enemy for short term gains by truly bowing to the enemy. Meanwhile Starscream's throne is a made of what looks like scrap metal in a dilapidated ship because he chose exile over bowing to Sentinel or the Quintessons. TFOne Sentinel and TFOne Starscream have the potential to be really fun explorations of characters who on the surface may be very alike but in certain core aspects are so different. I hope this adequately answered your ask!

[king-candybug-backup]

Okay, so I am going to address this exactly once and then never again, because I find this to be extremely pointless drama that could be very easily avoided if people just knew how to block each other and move on, and I honestly despise dumbass petty situations like this, lol. While I’m sure you’re not intending any harm here, I’m answering this ask as a screenshot and censoring out the individual’s username/pronouns because the vibes of this ask feel lowkey like opening a door for harassment against this person, and I find that to be really inappropriate, especially considering their age. (If you happen to know who this is in reference to, do not harass this person, do not troll this person, do not share their username in the notes (I WILL block you if you do), do not send people after this person, just don’t interact AT ALL. They are a minor talking random shit on the internet, it is not THAT serious.)

First of all, I’m not actually “surrounded by NPD discourse”. I DO NOT LIKE discourse and do not go out of my way to engage with it. I’ve had people ask me basic questions, that's it. Most of the time very politely, and the only two times I ever got asks that did lean more on the ableist/rude side, I deleted one of them without second thought, and the other one I very thoroughly explained why their misconceptions were harmful because it felt like they WERE genuinely trying to understand it better, and I still want to respect that effort. I literally cannot overstate how much I DO NOT CARE for the kind of people looking to start fights or petty-ass fucking “drama”.

As for the person you brought up, like… Look, I don’t like them either, but I don’t like MOST people who are chronically online like that. They are everywhere, remember. The fact that I have seen SO MANY people talk about this person as if they’re uniquely horrible like some devil incarnate or as if y’all want to make it their job to “parent them” or like they have to be “dealt with” somehow is like, a little bit crossing a line, my dude. Like, it’s the internet. I understand the frustration, I’ve definitely expressed my own before, but doing stuff like going on anon to insult them or “talk sense into them” is something I feel like could ONLY come off as insanely condescending from their perspective. You are not their parent, you are not their supervisor, it is not your job to discipline some random teen online. I get that it sucks having somebody post negativity all the time in fandom spaces you frequent, but that is why the block button exists. In the same way that I think they’re being ridiculous for not just blacklisting/ignoring content or people they don’t want to see, I also think a lot of other people have been ridiculous in not just blocking the person themselves and are instead going out of their way to interact with them. I think I remember commenting, like, once on one of their posts a long-ass time ago about all the negativity-posting because I used to see it a lot and was wondering if they didn’t know how to use the tag-filtering settings or something, but then I saw their profile and that they’re a teen and was like “Oh okay, that explains some things lmao”, and stopped interacting with their posts since. Ended up blocking them MONTHS ago when I got tired of seeing their rants all the time while searching WIR stuff, and it’s been nothing but peace in my searches since then, lol.

Me being long-winded as always lmao, but what I mean is, I do understand the desire to like, maybe reach out once and try to see if you can help lessen the negativity somehow, especially if it feels like it’s tainting your experience in the fandom, but it is honestly just one person, a teenager, mind you, and some people simply don’t want to be “talked out” of their negativity. That’s their choice, and while I may personally think it’s a poor one to make (being excessively negative in the first place, I mean), they ARE allowed to post whatever the hell they want. (Barring like, y’know, illegal shit or stuff against TOS, obviously.) Honestly, one thing I remember seeing in the tags a lot before I had them blocked was A LOT of anons legit being so condescending and rude in the way they talked to them that it’s like, guys, even if you have valid points, even if the person has a history of being a jerk themselves, how on earth do you ever expect asks like that to be received well??? Like, I’m not justifying their behaviour, obviously, but in some cases, I did legitimately understand why they’d be so annoyed in their responses to people, lmfao. Having a bunch of internet strangers act like a scolding parent giving long monologues about life lessons or whatever the fuck would feel extremely patronizing imo, lol.

Also, as a side note about the other thing you mentioned, I don’t take much issue with self-diagnosis, personally. There’s a BIG difference between trying to accurately diagnose yourself based on your own symptoms compared to diagnosis criteria as opposed to outright knowingly faking a disorder, like how a bunch of people admitted to faking DID out of lockdown boredom. Especially with Cluster Bs, where professional diagnosis is extra hard to get in the first place and, like you said, they’re also very heavily stigmatized, so that adds a whole OTHER can of worms in making it scary to get a formal diagnosis that you can’t take back and that people can use to treat you differently… Basically, I don’t see a big problem with trying to self-diagnose. Getting a professional’s opinion would be ideal, obviously, but that’s not always possible for people, you never know what somebody’s personal or financial situation might be, and as long as people are doing thorough research to try and figure themselves out, there’s not really much harm in it imo. The problem with this person is the way they treat other people, not whatever diagnosis they might have. Jumping to the conclusion that they’re faking being Cluster B only to “excuse” their behaviour is a bit of an iffy stretch. Unless you’ve outright seen them try to blame absolutely everything on a disorder as an excuse for their actions, it’s not really justifiable to make such assumptions about that kind of stuff.

Anyways, side-tracked, sorry 😂 All this other stuff is to say, stop trying to “fix” somebody you don’t know. Stop sending them anons, stop looking at their posts if it upsets you, just stop. It does not help. Giving them attention or engagement, whether it be positive or negative, is not going to help the situation WHATSOEVER, and this kind of stuff is EXACTLY what the block button is for. (It’s why the phrase “Don’t feed the trolls” exists, lol. In this case, I don’t think they’re actually trying to be a troll, I think they’re just like that in general, but still. Fuelling the fire helps literally nothing, it only makes everything worse.) Before that little mini-fiasco that happened recently (I’m assuming this is why you’re suddenly reaching out to me about it, but for future reference, please don’t send me asks about random drama, that is NOT what I use tumblr for, and I frankly don’t want to hear about it. I’m only replying to this because I want to make it very clear that the way you’re currently handling it will only ever make things worse and you should really stop), I hadn’t given them much thought at all in several months. That’s how it SHOULD be. I don’t get why people are so afraid of using the block button these days, because it is honestly so easy to curate your online experience, especially on tumblr where it gives you so many options of blog privacy, blocking, ask restrictions and tag-blacklisting options... Get rid of the content you don’t want to see yourself, don’t try to force somebody else to change when they’ve made it very, very clear they don’t want to. You will have a LOT more peace in your fandom life if you just remove stressors like this entirely. Trust me on this, this sort of thing IS NOT worth the drama, and you’ll feel a whole lot better if you just stop dealing with them altogether. The block button is your friend, do not be afraid to use it. 😂 (Also, while I’m sure it’s not your intention to come off this way, obsessing over a teenager’s online activity in the first place is kinda on the creepy side. It sounds to me like you’ve been trying to “get through to them” for a concerningly long time, and idk how else to tell you that this is kinda inappropriate. I know for you it’s more about the negativity-posting than the actual age, and like idk, maybe you’re also a teen, but like, it still comes off as really weird. Let them make their own mistakes, nobody’s FORCING you to look at what they post, and your asks are probably only ever going to make them even more pissed off and negative. Just leave this whole thing alone, dude. This is not healthy, and not your business to deal with in the first place.)

[genericpuff]

Ive read a few of your LO esaays (all of which are really well written!) But I was wondering something.

Many people talk about how Rachel loves the story Lolita, and has talked about it before, but nobody has ever shown screenshots. I was wondering if you had any or knew where to find any. This is just being curious, not doubting your statements

Ah so I actually responded to a comment just like this a while back on reddit with all the receipts (it was particularly someone who was claiming it was all "made up" because like you, they couldn't seem to get any proof of it, which is totally valid) so I just had to go and dig those back up haha

DISCLAIMER: I want to make it clear that a lot of people tend to run amok with these suspicious pieces of evidence towards Rachel either "thinking Lolita was a romance" or being a pedophile. I want to make it clear that I do not think any of this is proof towards either of these claims. I do not think that she blatantly thinks Lolita is a romance, or that she was trying to perpetuate pedophilia in any sort of way, just that she may have wanted to have her cake and eat it too by acknowledging the age gap but embracing it anyways as she does throughout LO. I think, at best, she's a terrible writer who's still using the things she liked when she was a teenager / young adult as inspiration without actually going back and re-analyzing those things with an updated 38-year-old viewpoint (as she does this with a lot of things, not just Lolita). Claiming that the following receipts is 'proof' of Rachel being some kind of sex pest / pedophile is at best not constructive at all for the real discussions to be had concerning LO's subtext, and at worst, a serious claim that can ruin someone's life if thrown around without cause. Let's please be responsible and level-headed in how we approach this topic.

Old MySpace + DeviantArt bios with her interests listed:

Her old art site where she labels herself as a "lolita vamp" artist:

Her intro post from a lolita-themed forum she ran:

She does express that it's not THAT kind of lolita, which I'd like to think she never intended in the first place, but it's really telling that LO still manages to be that kind of lolita in a lot of ways, to the point that there are many scenes in LO that feel a little too similar to scenes from the 1990's Jeremy Irons adaptation, such as seen here.

(the above image are song lyrics written about the book, Lolita)

Also despite Rachel saying it wasn't "that kind" of lolita, she still made it clear back in the 2017/2018 run of the comic on Tumblr that Hades is, indeed, a "grown ass man", and that Persephone is a teenager.

And of course the proof is in the pudding, the comic itself is well aware of Persephone's age:

(either Rachel has been using Apollo as a mouthpiece for criticism for years, or she seriously thought this was supposed to make Hades look like the better partner for Persephone because "look at how mean Apollo is" when... he's deadass spitting facts LOL)

As I mentioned in my disclaimer, I don't think Rachel herself is in any way a sex pest or a pedo or whatever you might jump to assuming. Rachel has a history of being inspired by things she watched when she was a child without ever actually going back to re-analyze it or ask herself if what she read was credible or real-

(this isn't the only proof there is of her behaving this way, there's also the fact that she was clearly a huge Disney fan as a child but never asked herself why those movies worked as a piece of written media).

So again, I think at best she's just sort of dated herself by not going to the effort of researching the things she was into when she was a child, she tends to just throw things in that she likes haphazardly without a single thought as to why they worked in the first place or whether or not they would work in LO. Though this is a bit of a saltier opinion, I think when it comes to the Lolita thing specifically, I have a feeling she never actually read the book, just sorta did that thing where she watched the movie adaptation from the 90's and assumed that counted as reading the book and so she put it down as her favorite book / Nabokov as her favorite writer.

But none of that speculation really makes much difference because the evidence is 20+ years old. What does matter is that despite her tastes being what they were 20+ years ago, they're still present in LO and it's not even subtle, there are so many times Rachel has outright said both within the comic and outside of it that Hades is a "grown ass man" and Persephone is a literal teenager. Her fans, of course, will still go to the effort of explaining it on her behalf ("they're gods! ageing isn't a thing for them!" "how old you are doesn't matter when you can be immortal!" "well she probably doesn't mean LITERALLY 19, just like, the god version of it..."), but you can't deny what's coming from the horse's mouth - Hades and Persephone are in a relationship based on an intentionally massive age gap. Regardless of what completely speculative parallels we can draw between H x P and that of Lolita's Humbert Humbert and Dolores using 20 year old MySpace bios as evidence, Hades and Persephone having a massive and intentional age gap is undeniable fact made canon by the creator herself, no matter how you try and slice it.