#10 things to get to know me better
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10 things for 10 people you’d like to know better!
Tagged by the lovely @holy-ships-x-red-lips . Thank you for tagging me, friend! I started to answer these on Thursday, which means I've had to change some answers multiple times. (A problem of my own making. I kept forgetting about posting it.)
Last Song: I'm listening to my SNTV vinyl today! So, Dear John as of answering this. I still can't believe I got to experience it live. If I close my eyes while listening to it, I see my view of that sea of purple lights.
Last book: I'm about halfway into The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller! That I've finished? Sunrise on the Reaping. I've started a bunch lately but haven't finished that many! (I gotta get back to The Secret History, which I was enjoying, but I knew I wouldn't finish in time for the book club.)
Last movie: I need to get back to watch more movies. Can't remember the last one at home, but A Real Pain in cinemas a while ago. (Oh, I think the "El Mago Pop Lands in USA" doc counts! We just finished that one and now my dad regrets not getting tickets… I spent the entire winter asking him.)
Last TV show: if long YT videos don't count, High Potential on Disney+. It was fun to see TJ Thyne and Nasim Pedrad on the one we watched last night! (I think it was 11?) I'll probably watch Hacks in a bit, too.
Favourite colour: Purple! I like all shades, but warmer purples that are almost reddish, I love.
Sweet, savoury, or spicy: Sweet.
Relationship status: 🧍♀️
Last thing I googled: Several attempts at trying to find an available copy of Gracie's RSD First. If I can't get it tomorrow from a few EU/UK stores I have my eye on, I'll wait for the inevitable drop on her website. (I just hope I'll have made it home by 9PM!)
Current obsession: These are unserious ones, but no less true, lmao. Raging about different aspects of RSD in town, but I'm glad I did my chill thing in the afternoon. (However much you think you've heard me rant about it, it's just a fraction of what poor Waves has.)
Also, constantly refreshing the couple of things that are on their way (esp my tgw deluxe, which has to be my slowest eBay/GSP experience so far… no one needs to hear my rant about how the seller was very nice but wasn't really listening to what I was saying. That package spent 10 days at UK GSP without being scanned!!!!). Anyway, I think it'd be hilarious if the other GSP shipment from the US got here before tgw.
Looking forward to: Tuesday onwards! I'm taking Tues and Wed off (I should've also taken tomorrow off lbr, but I'm planning on taking a random Monday off next month instead, iykyk). I'm also curious to see what comes out of my car dealership visit on Tuesday! I don't mind an almost new/KM 0 car vs a new, personalizable one that might be ready in September. I haven't really driven since I got my license.
Tagging: @likeanorangeonatoothpick @kidmccabe @malkaleh @maryoliveoil @unseenacademic @leoleofitz @jessbakescakes @bartletslesbians @etherealthv @district447
(As usual, if you want to do it, consider yourself tagged! And if you don't want to do it, that's also fine! I forget who's done this, so I went with the last few moots I've seen in my dash.)
#10 things to get to know me better#the car is going to put an end to the vinyl collecting real fast (no it likely won't)#the car thing is that I had contacted a family friend to help me find great deals on used cars but apparently none of them are good enough#but my metro line is going under construction to become automatized so my usual public transport commute is going to take a tad longer then
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no way she's alive ?? yea those mental health breaks because social media makes people suck are wild huh
#star wars#clone wars#star wars fanart#ahsoka tano#captain rex#anyway i bring you this a) because i'm going back to my tcw roots of late and b) because i miss them terribly#as you can see because i can't handle reality i put her in the novel design#cause wdym they split up after order 66 haha what no that didn't happen you're crazy#read it however you want idc ^^)b any interpretation of their dynamic is the best one i think#yea anyway in this amount of time i've gotten a lot better at anatomy and i don't really care about social media anymore#but i have like nowhere to put my art now so *shrug*#star wars the clone wars#artists on tumblr#i've wanted to do one of those post-type drawings and i am .-+ too lazy +-. to color it sooo#signature got cropped sigh. whatever#if you see a mistake no you don't. you know the drill#also i finally watched bad batch season 3 around christmastime and hewiutgeh.#singlehandedly took the show from a 4 to a 10 for me so thx dave filoni we love u as always >>>#lowk kinda missed it here *gazes fondly at the bot spam and screaming and cursing in my feed*#btw i have never used instagram in my life so if this is formatted wrong it's your fault. bye#someone tell me whether or not i should tag this as rxsk because i am very much debating#does tumblr even like them anymore ?? i know ao3 does they're still going crazy over there (>1k works God bless)#“bro's first post back and she's yapping her head off” cmon you know me by now anyway can we talk about season 7 ahsoka#i find no fault in her. she is perfect. she is the greatest version of any star wars character ever at all#no i will not be thinking about whether or not anyone told her about fives. no i will not be thinking about whether or not anyone told echo#ok that's enough bye i'll wait for this to get four notes at most and three of them being comments screaming at me#one more thing uhh suspend your disbelief since anakin liked the post. rots didn't happen and everything is fine !!#my art
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axolotl
#covers my face. this is dumb theyre dumb idk what was going thru my mind making this.h#i like this brush tho i think ill keep using it#i had this thought awhile ago that axolotls kind of remind me of macs ears. and i had a nice thought that if wukong ever saw one#he'd say the same thing. and thats why im sitting here with my head in my hands#macaque doesnt know if hes embarassed amused or straight up smitten. its all 3#i have such a hard time drawing necks and shoulders.. mac is supposed to kind of hunch up his shoulders#the way some ppl do when they bow their neck down kind oflike. defensive-tucking in position when theyre making themselves small#i cant really get it to look right so it kinda looks like his head is sunken too close to his shoulders. so i guess ill keep practising#maybe if i brought his head closer to the collarbone it will look better. but i struggle with foreshortening so theres a chance itll#just look like his neck starts at the collar. ughhh#god have mercy if i ever draw hugs. i hate positioning the shoulder i hate hate hate it. 10 dead 17 injured#i have new design note ideas for em but ill post another time#myart#doodles#lego monkie kid#lmk#monkie kid#shadowpeach#lmk sun wukong#lmk swk#lmk macaque#lmk six eared macaque#lmk liu er mihou
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Megastar (my first toxic yaoi) x Bingjiu (my most toxic yaoi)
#hey if Megatron also rips off starscreams limbs and puts him in a pickle jar at least the limbs are easier to reattach#ik that 2ha is more toxic but they get better I think so bingjiu is still on top for me#also I never finished 2ha so I dunno rip#sentinel is YQY lol#holy shit the last thing in the bingjiu tag was 10 days ago??#ah yes me and the other 5 bingjiu and megastar fans#if you know Wei wuxian this is the same author#scum villain#svsss#megatron#starscream#megastar#transformers one#transformers#transformers fanart#bingjiu#crossover#yeah this is a reupload I was trying to edit and accidentally deleted the post sorry to the 3 people who liked 😭#self indulgent
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Tartarus is still a little broken and that's Fun !
#so far playing through all of this i have to say. the no level cap increase makes me feel cheated#with how much questing we're doing and all#iirc they said they wanted to take companion promos seriously but did this whole. Hawkules thing#where you have to get a drop and they eventually needed to increase its rate in this recent update#and if you wanted it without farming you have to pay 10 bucks worth of crowns for it now#you know! to promote a companion! but see you can just BUY a companion in the crownshop using that real money#if you cant tell ive not been a fan of this new promotion method and this is taking it 'seriously'?#granted ive just started tartarus so i kind of want to hold my tongue and see the rest for myself rn#so far these quests are Good and Bad. they definitely went in the right direction but. no level cap kind of hurts.#still feels like we're stuck in one place even though we're moving forward#there's a lot of great concepts and even better dialogue to even out the bad#but at what point do we feel it's worth doing all this effort for. a couple new mid comps and a chance at a main comp promo?#keep in mind all this posting is just my own opinion. i know there's ppl out there that either love or loathe these additions#and i find myself in the middle tbh#i find this story fine and good so far i guess but i don't know if i'm still going to feel this way by the end of it#and yes yes 'be grateful p101 even got updates' while wiz continues to get new worlds and level cap increases. wonderful to be where we are#rambling#vent
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absolutely high off my ass rn i'm not going to lie but it just always blows my mind whenever I think about it for more than 5 seconds that raz is actually fucking 10 years old like that's a bloody 5th grader and he's gone around and speedran like 30 people's lifelong traumas in the span of like 6-7 days because canonically psychonauts 1, psychonauts 2 AND rhombus of ruin all take place in the span of under a week.
i will elaborate more on this later but I was just seeing gameplay footage of milla's nightmares and what not and I just. like raz saw that. a 10 year old saw that. also the same 10 year old, like 2 days later was buried alive by ford??? ik it was in his head but still????
that boy is 10 get him therapy oh my god.
#psychonauts#psychonauts 2#rhombus of ruin#razputin aquato#nona aquato#lucrecia mux#ford cruller#maligula#i know we're out here joking about it right#he's a weird kid raz is#absolute menace yk setting squirrels on fire accidently giving his boss a gambling addiction#kissing random brains#but also like CHRIST the things this poor boy's been through???#someone get him help???#he needs it#needs a PROPER break#like raz is better than i am#he's running off that 10 year old adrenaline to just unpack and go through all of that family trauma#and then immediately he's full on excited to start his 9-5 next morning#like it is NOTHING#that bit always get me at the end when he and nona hug#the EMOTIONS#god it gets me
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blake lets him keep it. this is a dire lapse in judgement on his part but they're just gonna have to live with it. (ids in alts)
#niksartstuffs#furry hockey league#ocs#furry art#theyre both.... like. ok.#conor is like. nice and soft spoken and awkward and sweet but then every now & then does smth SO serial-killer-esque.#and you just have to stand there like okay my perception of this kid has been irrevocably changed forever. what the fuck man.#and blake is very outwardly offputting and bitchy kind of on purpose which hides a deep insecurity which also hides a belief that he is#in fact better than everyone else which also hides a desperate need for someone to pay special attention to him. tch. typical.#then conor does pay attention to him. a lot. and blake likes conor more and more the weirder and weirder he reveals himself to be. win-win.#that being said i dont think they are getting together until they're like. 10 years into their careers LMAO. i keep making the burn slower#every time i think abt it. a couple yrs and then 10 yrs next thing u know it'll be when they're retired.#wait... coaching a team together........... no no i cant keep doing this to them. whatever actually i can have AUs for my own universe.#conlake baseball au. make that a reality.#idk what their portmanteau ship name should be. in my mind they are the obnoxious main ship that ppl with good taste ignore in favour of#blake/lucas or something. anyway. its fun meta thinking about my own work. these tags have gotten so far away from me.
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10 people I want to get to know better
I was tagged by the lovely @arminaa8 ❤️
Last song: I don't listen to a lot of music - I'm more of a Radio 4 kind of girl (for non-Brits, it's kind of talk radio, but with a lot of politics, culture and audio dramas). Maybe the soundtrack of Honkai Star Rail as I'm playing counts? 😂
Favorite color: bright pink, but with turquoise a close second. I love bright colours! I am, in theme, a tiny bit Barbie/Elle Woods, if they were lazier and less designer label, haha.
Last movie: Rewatched Jurassic World Dominion because I couldn't remember if I'd seen it before (I had: it was just very forgettable, boo).
Last TV show: Tried the first episode of The Good Ship Murder last night - with a cop turned cruise ship singer as a sleuth. I love a cosy mystery series!
Sweet/spicy/savory: Can I have all of them??? I love savoury most, though - please give me curry, or all the cheese. It's always tragic to go to a restaurant and be offered a cheese course but have no room to fit it in 😭
Relationship status: Very happily married 😍
Last thing I googled: One Hundred Stars - considering buying these palazzo pants (yes, confusingly we do sometimes refer to trousers as pants)
Current obsession: Trying to stay warm when it's fucking freezing at the moment...? Trying to be cheerful on the bluest of blue Mondays?
Looking forward to: Eating dinner, booking some mini holidays, the weather warming up, reading some of my enormous #tbr pile, dipping into some of the awesome looking drarry fics the lovely @sweet-s0rr0w and @sitp-recs came up with for me, going to bed because I'm tired and it's only Monday.
Tagging @sweet-s0rr0w, @sitp-recs, @dewitty1, @lqtraintracks, @magpiefngrl, @faiell, @parkkate, @saintgarbanzo, @yiiiiiiiikes25, @a-bichol and anyone else who wants to play - I want to tag you all, but that would be insane 😂
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I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI.
#not dislike. its hate#it made me cry several times today#thinking of how my classmates manipulate our teachers#and chatgpt AIs can EVERYTHING#its so painful to think of it#today I broke down in the bus and cried#idc what people think. hiding my feelings any longer would destroy me from the inside#maybe youve also seen how people use freakin AIs in their exams#the thing is that:#we wrote an exam for which Ive studies for like 2 whole days#this week we finally got the exams back (w the grades ofc)#and ok Ive got a 3 (C in America syste#*m)#my friends who used chatgpt throughout the exam got way better grades (I didnt expect it otherwise)#PLUS#the most provocating messages from the teacher:#“10/10 POINTS :)” “YOURE ROCKING THIS” “YEAH”#💔#seriously#this breaks my heart#dont the teacher see something suspect in the exam?!#why cant they open their eyes and get modernized to reality.#& they KNOW- the students Im talking of. they usally have bad results.#once our teacher came to a chatgpt student and said the most miserable thing:#“youve been using duolingo a lot lately hm? thats where your nice grades come from 😉🥰”#you get it?#no- this peoson didnt learn.#no- this person isnt even interested in the stuff we learn in lessons#AWFUL feeling to hear the praisings of da teachers when *I* gotta sit among the gpt-students and look like Im a worse student than *them*#[writing this at almost 1 at night] still have some tears. this topic really has the power to destroy someones day. 💔💔
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Hello love, how are you?
I know you have done a couple of this already, but may i ask for one where Thena is suffering because of her period and Gil is being a good boyfriend and taking care of her, pretty please.
Also thank you for all your works they are amazing 🩷🤍.
"Thena?"
He didn't get any response as he cracked the door open even further. Which, he wouldn't under any normal circumstance. But not only was this bathroom at an end of the school that no one ever used, he had gotten an inside tip.
"Babe, I know you're in here," he broached carefully. She wasn't in here for no reason.
"Get out."
There she was. But it didn't have her usual sharpness. Plenty of acerbic distaste, certainly, but it had a kind of morose undertone to it.
Gil pressed the door closed behind him, "come on, sweetheart. Sersi sent me."
There was a stall door between them, but he could hear the look of betrayal on her face. "That little-"
"Hey," he assuaged, pressing his palm to the painted steel. "She's at the mall with Dane--who I know damn well you wouldn't want knowing about this, too."
"Whom," she corrected him, although even that lacked her usual gusto. "And that doesn't mean you were the acceptable alternative."
"Thena," he attempted in a sweeter voice. He looked down at the feet under the stall's gap. He had some sympathy; he didn't think of it as nearly so big a deal, but there were probably few things more personal to a girl than this. "Is it bad?"
She took her sweet time answering him, and even when she did, it came out as a miserable little warble. "I can see it a little."
A little would be enough. Especially if she was wearing white jeans.
"Do you know when it started?" he asked, in he thought was a pretty calm and cool way--logical, as his girlfriend would most appreciate.
She sighed (heavily). "After, or maybe even during practice. I managed to slip away from the team."
Gil frowned. Wasn't it, like, girl code not to leave one of their own in this state of distress? "You didn't wanna ask one of them-"
"I wouldn't say I'm that close with any of them," Thena spat. He didn't think she had any real dislike for them, either. But then again, his girlfriend didn't excel at vulnerability, and maybe this was too much for her to even turn to her fellow woman.
She had texted Sersi in blind hopes that her sister was close at hand.
"Okay, here," Gil sighed, pulling up the bag he had with him. He looked up, and then down, "do these doors have hooks on the inside?"
"You think our school has the luxury of something like that?"
Okay, yeah, she had a point. He huffed, "well, I dunno, so you don't have to put your bag or purse or whatever on the floor?"
"I'm not saying it's not a good idea, Gil, but no, they don't have that."
She really was feeling like absolute shit.
"Okay," he gave in easily. He set the bag on the ground and used his foot to slide it in to her. She did snatch it away from his gaze eagerly. "Sersi didn't say which one you liked, so I got a little pack of both, and-"
"Thank you--out."
He sighed again, but there wasn't much more he could do for her at this point. "Okay, okay, but I'm gonna be right outside the door."
"You don't have to, Gil."
He made a face at the stall door again, not that she could appreciate it. "I'm not gonna leave you like this."
"You could, though."
He didn't even really have anything he could compare it to--what she must be feeling at the moment. And for someone who struggled to talk about her own discomfort like she did... "I'm sorry, Thena."
It was so, so quiet. But he caught it--the little sniffle. The telltale sign that her misery was not just mere anger or frustration.
"There's no need, Gil," she tried to dissuade him again, more genuinely and less angrily this time.
"Babe, you know I've eaten you out, right," he commented rather dryly, "it's not like I can get freaked out by your period."
"That's-!" For however strong it started, it gave way to her misery not a second later, finishing in a whimper, "different."
She was right, it was different. But he was trying! He just wanted to make her feel better.
"I'll be outside," he reaffirmed to her door, pressing himself to it as if she would know he was trying to comfort her like that. "And I'm not leaving without you, so don't even try it."
"Fine."
Gil pulled himself away from the door slowly. He lingered, in case she was going to change her mind and tell him to stay. But she made not even a sound, which wasn't even that easy to do with the crinkly plastic pharmacy bag he'd brought in.
He had even had the wherewithal to ask them to double bag it, for privacy reasons! He thought that was a pretty smart move, on his part. He had gotten both tampons and pads, which maybe was a little overkill. But he didn't want her to get stuck with one if she was more comfortable with the other. And he'd thrown in some pain meds and some chocolate, just for good measure.
Gil leaned against the wall outside the bathroom door. They were at the very end of the hall, by the door that led straight to the fields. Now that all the practices were over, no one would be down here until teachers left or cleaning staff came to do their thing.
His heart ached for his poor Thena, imagining her discovering the blood and too uncomfortable around her teammates to ask for help with it. He wasn't entirely sure where her ire with them started, or if it was for Thena reasons or something else. But the fact that she had slipped away from them to endure the misery for herself spoke to how solitary a creature she really was.
He stood up straight as the door opened and Thena emerged with the bag in the crook of her elbow. She was staring straight down at the ground. "How do you feel?"
"Humiliated."
Gil smiled down at the top of her head as she headbutted him right in the chest. He didn't mind. He wrapped his arms around her, pressing a kiss to her hair.
His first instinct was to say something to lighten her mood, maybe a joke or something. But he felt the faint but real little spots of warmth in the cotton of his t-shirt. He rubbed her back, "it's okay."
Thena had never, ever, cried in front of him. Not even when she told him about Ikaris laughing at her for being a virgin. He was still determined to kick that guy's ass one day.
She pulled away, rubbing her eyes to erase the last of her woes for herself. "Thank you."
"Of course," he frowned. Like he was doing some great thing by helping her out with this? It was pretty basic boyfriend stuff, he was pretty sure. "You know I mean that, right?"
"I know," she grumbled, and there was some of his Thena starting to emerge. She stepped away from him, her arms wrapped around herself.
"You want me to, uh," he tilted his head, "check if you're good?"
"I would rather die."
He chuckled; now that was his Thena.
"Just," she mumbled out, embarrassment written all over her. "Give me your sweater.
He did so in an instant, pulling his black hoodie off his shoulders and wrapping it around her. She extended her arms on her own, threading them through the sleeves smoothly. He made sure it sat on her shoulders and then gave the bottom a tug to verify that it did indeed cover well beyond her (cute) butt.
She looked at him as she started pushing the sleeves up.
"Lookin' good," he grinned at her with a wink.
She rolled her eyes at him, but the way she let him take her hand told him she was still feeling a little shitty about everything. "Take me home?"
"You got it," he assured as gently as he could. As much as he wanted to offer to take her out and do something fun, it wasn't about what he wanted. And if she wanted to wallow in her misery for the night he would ask and beg and plead to join her in that misery. "You know-"
Thena didn't even turn her head, just gave him one hell of a side eye.
But he smiled, braving on for the love of his young life. "As I keep reminding you, I am in this for real, babe. Like, real deal, long haul-"
"Yes, yes, you have said," she sighed, although he could see her starting to smile again.
He gave her hand a squeeze. "It's not like I was never gonna be around for...something like this."
It showed on Thena's face just how much she appreciated his delicacy with it, even after the fact.
"It's not a big deal--not to me, at least," he shrugged, hoping he was saying the right thing. All he could hope was that she was really hearing him and getting how much he meant it. "And if you ever needed help like this again--just call me, okay? Text me, email me if you have to."
She laughed at the suggestion, but all he needed to see was that cute smile, showing off her teeth. She had a cute laugh, too.
"I'll be there, Thena," he finished, pouring his heart into it. "In a heartbeat."
"I know, Gil." Well, that was the end of that. It wasn't up for discussion anymore, and he would be pushing his luck to try and continue it.
But he happily let her release his hand, only so she could wrap her arms around his one and press her face into his t-shirt sleeve. "You gonna let me carry that bag for you?"
"No."
"Okay, fine," he chuckled. Whatever she wanted--needed. Anything at all. He looked down at her as they continued down the hall, taking their good, sweet time. "Thena, I-"
"I hope," she prefaced, giving his arm an extra squeeze, "you're not about to say something I wouldn't want to hear on arguably the worst day of my life."
Okay, so not the time for an I-Love-You. Their first, he had to keep reminding himself, no matter how many times he had already imagined saying it to her.
"Yeah, no, totally," he mumbled, resigning himself to keeping it in again.
"Just-" Thena pressed herself even closer to him. "Just wait a little longer."
He looked down at the top of her head again (since she wasn't up to looking at him yet, apparently). But she didn't have to ask; he was going to wait for her until the day he died, he had already decided.
It wasn't even really up to him. Somewhere along the way, he had fallen beyond the point of no return, and he would do anything - literally anything! - for her.
Thena let him kiss her forehead as they continued shuffling along, the hum of the fluorescents and the crinkling of the bag offering a soundtrack to their quiet moment.
"Y'know, I heard baths are good for cramps. We could-"
"Not a chance, Gil."
#Thenamesh 10 Things AU#thank you for the ask sweetheart!!!!#I'll never tire of writing some good ol' period comfort although this is maybe a different kind of comfort#I hope you don't mind my choice of AU#I have imagined something kind of like this before#I mean Thena's usual choice of wardrobe and everything#and she doesn't trust her teammates enough not to blab about it around the wrong people#so she just slips away quietly#texts Sersi to please for the love of god bring her SOMETHING#but Sersi can't just slip away#and she knows asking Dane to take her to the pharmacy and then back to the school is also not an option#but a very sweet someone gets a text that Thena needs help#and he goes my ladylove needs me#unfortunately I think many of us have experienced something at least like this#Thena is mortified even as the nearly grown woman she is#it's not something she wanted him being involved in!#at least not at this point in their lives#but Gil thinks it's a given because obviously they're gonna move in and get married someday#of course he was gonna deal with her period eventually#Gil takes her home and she lets him come in#she goes upstairs and gets changed and does what she needs to do#he asks if she wants to just stay in and cuddle and she says fine whatever if you want to#but when they're upstairs in her bed she's clinging to him like a koala#she really did have a miserable day but it wouldn't be like her to admit that she does feel better having him there#although she asks they never speak of this again#Gil holds her until he hears the front door#Thena is asleep but he kisses her goodnight and slips out her window#in case her dad is the barging in type#not that that is not also problematic#but it's just Sersi checking on her big sister like a sweetheart
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Kills me that I took a Tumblr break on the day Grace watched Materialists (which slotted in next to Captain Fantastic with movies that cut to the heart of really real personal interesting problems for me) and Cate is analyzing Marvel movies, but such is life
#you know what i did? put no tumblr (or minesweeper) on my to do list for the day. and i did it#i have to go to bed now. but i primed a side table for painting and wrote some of my goodbye notes#and babysat and grocery shopped and cooked and two friends called me and i sat in the sun and played mahjong#and wrote a bit more of my stressful project. and did laundry and cleaned the house. and got a paper accepted for publication#oh and this morning a friend texted ''what are your criteria for dating someone''#bc she has a friend she wants to set me up with long distance#and my feeling about this is sure whatever why not one more thing#which is better than terror and resistance!#although in some ways i feel not dissimilar to how taylor swift must have felt after the psychologically shattering events of 2023#getting put in touch with travis kelce and immediately telling him she was coming out of a manic phase and compounded heartbreak#10 days in a row of crying. we shall get past it and all shall be well
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today's "it's so over" "we're so back" cycle has been "i have wasted the past, like, 10 years of my life" vs "well what the fuck was i meant to be doing anyway"
#personal#like literally nobody had a hand on the ball during my most important developmental years#knowing that those developmental years are basically behind me is rough#and im kinda just sitting here frustrated that i wasn't really raised i just had my needs provided for#but at the same time like. with those being the circumstances. its kind of normal for me to be a nothingburger of a person#like yeah of course im socially underdeveloped. teen years in a baptist church and tumblr dot com#my parents beign preoccupied w their dying parents and never really dealing with their own shit upbringings#so even if they were paying attention. the guidance they provided wouldn't have been. like. GOOD#main uni years happened during the height of covid#rawdogging some retrospectively very obvious undiagnosed mental issues#i was never turning out okay lmao#i know it's never too late to start it's just v frustrating turning 25 in a few months and having barely lived a year of it#like that is a LOT of lost time to make up for and it's not like all this shit left me well-equipped enough to know where to start#and i just do not have a lot of people in my life to talk to about this#i got like 1 non-tumblr friend i'd feel okay talking to about that sort of thing and when i do it never makes me feel better#mostly just well-intentioned ''have u considered getting over it'' type shit#i NEED to have a real social life and hobbies and to do that I NEED to move out so i NEED to get a job#and i am qualified for nothing yippeeeee!! every job listing i am woefully unequipped to handle#either bc i am unqualified or bc i would be fucking shaking any time anyone interacted w me#would genuinely give anything to back in time 10 years. i'd suffer through high school again i don't care i am just desperately unhappy
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very hard to put into words how weird it is to see so much league hype and content rn, ive played for 10+ years and it genuinely sort of feels surreal for the lore to be a focus of the community for once
honestly it feels strange to see ANY sort of hype to existing for the game outside of the player base and like its the LORE, TOTALLY FREE TO CONSUME that's getting people involved in the game/universe, and it ESP feels like vindication after riot scrapped the universe site, stopped putting out colour stories, shut down riot forge, has basically made a skeleton team of the legends of runeterra game- the best game riot has ever released and the biggest effort theyve ever made to open the world up and explore the lore
if arcane wasnt enough for you, i beg you go poke around youtube and watch some of the old league content, the cinematics are so beloved by the community, the parody songs (this is war from falconshield, anything from instalok) AND riot's officially released anthems and songs (most with lore stories depicted in their music videos), necrit is great for lore explanation videos of the wider world of runeterra, all the alternative universes like pulsefire, star guardian- theres just so much lore and a library of stories to go read (and a published book though I was not a huge fan), if you dont want to play the moba you can play the ruined king game, song of nunu, convergence, mageseeker (steam/xbox/ps/switch/etc), legends of runeterra (totally free to play card game with very fair and generous card collection methods), teamfight tactics, just- theres even a ttrpg (Legends of Runeterra: Dark Tides of Bilgewater) you can play with your friends if you dont want to sit down an play a video game
rlly at the core of it all i just hope with arcane riot sees that they should be investing in the lore and hiring genuinely good writers (so we dont repeat the SOL event MOST IMPORTANTLY) but also so they see that the content they put out doesnt always need to have a price tag to generate revenue/interest for them, and what keeps people coming back is the world they created
TLDR: ARCANE ONLYS I LOVE YOU PLEASE GET INVOLVED WITH MORE OF THE UNIVERSE THAN JUST THE SHOW I PROMISE YOU ITS GOOD
#league of legends#arcane#feels so strange to talk to non league players about arcane lore#they have never had an 0/12 yasuo in their promos#PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLAY THE RUINED KING GAME AND FALL IN LOVE WITH MY BEAUTIFUL WIFE PYKE WHO HAS NEVER DONE ANYTHIGN WRONG IN HIS LIFE#and even the community lore like they dont know about the euw server issues... the 4 win ip boost... better nerf irelia..#just faker like in general#i wish so fondly that people fall in love with league like i did 10 yrs ago and that riot continues to invest in its lore#and it doesnt even need to be LEAGUE you fall in love with theres so many other riot games now in the universe for you to explore#what do yall even KNOW about blitzcranks poro round up#when the mmo drops in like 15 yrs you will NOT CATCH ME OUTSIDE FOR MONTHS ILL BE IN BILGEWATER ON THE SLAUGHTER DOCKS I PROMISE YOU#please just reopen riot forge i beg#IF U WANT HELP WITH A JUMPING OFF POINT ON WHERE TO GET INTO IT I WILL SUGGEST THINGS U MIGHT LIKE IF U MSG ME!! LOVE U!! THANKS FOR READIN
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Just QUIT my job! 🥰
#they refused to give me my break even though that's legally required#i told them so and they went yes we know but we dont do that here#they didn't want to give me a contract for 30/40 hours a week but for 0 hours a week#which means if they don't put me on the schedule enough i won't be able to pay my rent#and when i requested to not give me any 10+ hour shifts because i couldnt handle that#but just give me 4 or 5 7/8 hour shifts throughout the week they didnt wanna do that either#even though they said i did great they were happy with me and theyre in desperate need of workers#I'm not 16 anymore I need my livelihood secured and to be treated properly#so I'm gonna loook AGAIN for another job#unfortunate because despite the break refusal bullshit i had a great time there#personal#he kept saying that's not how we do things in the service industry/restaurant business#or that's Just how it's done in the service industry/restaurant business#and I was like well maybe some things need to change in the service industry/restaurant business#and guess who has the power to do that in Your restaurant?#when I was a shift leader in the restaurant i worked at#all my employees got a coffee break in the morning and a lunch break in the afternoon#even if they didnt work the legally required hours to get a break#guess what: it's possible it doesn't cost anything they work better they're happier.
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10 people I want to get to know better!
Tagged by amazing @mzuul and brilliant @wholahoop (ノ´ヮ´)ノ*:・゚✧
Last song: Sister Golden Hair by America (I was listening to my playlist entitled "The Bridge" dont effing judge me, I'm goddamn old, ok)
Favorite color: pink pink pink anything pink!! ( Got to agree here, though I don't wear it even though i was sort of snidely asked if it was my favorite color because my hoodie, purse and wallet were all pink that day)
Last movie: A Real Pain.(I have to say that I absolutely ADORE Kieran Culkin. I would watch more Succession but with just his character. Or almost anything with him in it. I find him very relatable. IDK what that says about me lol...)
Last TV show: E.R. I am basically binging the whole series, with a few new shows thrown in for fun. (yes, it's from 1994. Am I ostriching because of the state of the USA and the world rn, maybeeeeee)
Sweet/spicy/savory: I like all the foods. But I'm trying to cut back on sweets due to DIABEETUS. And some foods inflame my arthritis (I do not recommend getting OLD AF kids 0/10)
Relationship status: Been Divorced so long I'm brand new again! Nah. I'm just a single, old , cat lady, and it's just fine.
Last thing I googled: Welp, it was something someone asked about in the kink channel of one of the Discords I'm in, and because I like handing out knowledge like a grandmother gives cookies lol..
Current obsession: Trying not to stress about stuff I can't control? IDK. Getting in reading time when life is throwing other crap my way? blehhhh
Looking forward to: Spring, and warmth.
Tagging (no pressure, ever) @heyjude19-writing @generalpizzaengineer @its-the-allure @newskyillusion @edieblakee @jtimu @matredaen @jelliewrites @proboscidea-althaeifolia @draco-abraxas (sorry if you’ve already been tagged or already did it) -and anyone else who sees this and wants to join!
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my brain: delete everything, disappear completely, take your dogs, drive until you have to stop, stop existing.
#ooc. o kaptain.#[it’s one of those nights where I realize it would be of no consequence to anyone if I just ceased to be. and I have to force myself to go#home because if not for my dogs being there I would probably drive to Philadelphia and show up at work completely exhausted.#tomorrow at 10 am. I feel like somehow I have even less options than I had before. and it’s because I didn’t anticipate being completely#alone. repeatedly realizing no one will ever understand me like my family did and wondering how to feel like it’s even worth it to try.#sincerely I just… miss my mom. I miss my aunt. I miss my grandparents. everything isn’t worth it. and I don’t even know how to make it feel#like it is. ‘it takes time’ everyone says to me. ‘you’ll feel better. it just takes time’ and I don’t think they’re right. I think some#things feel genuinely like they cannot heal. and carrying all this in me is suffocating. being the last person in my family at 34 is#suffocating. I’m a legacy and I’m not even a person anymore. I have to go get gas but what the fuck does it matter? who cares??]#negativity /#negative /#death mention /
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