#ACOTAR crackpost

[acourtofquestions]

Rhysand, Aelin Galathynius, Bryce Quinlan, Nesta Archeron, Fenrys Moonbeam, Vesta Blackbeak, Xaden Riorson, Cat Cordella, Cassian Archeron, Dorian Havilliard:

To everyone who has treated me poorly, I am hotter than you.

[gwynlain]

Gwyn, in training with the new Valkyries: My policy is if you see something, say something.

Elain: I saw a squirrel in a tree today!

Gwyn,🥹 with pride for Elain: This. This is what I’m talking about people. *slow claps* Outstanding.

[acourtofquestions]

Amren: When people get a little too chummy with me I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know I don’t care about them.

*walks into kitchen*

Feyre hands mug of Amrens “special food”

Amren: Thank you, Frigga. *dead ass stares Cassian down* Hello, Cassius. *nods* Ezra, *passes Mor on way out* Norm. *tips hat* Rice.

*winks at camera*

. . .

Rhysand: … Did she just call me Rice?

Feyre: Shh… babe we’ve all done that —Rhys: you what?— the better question is…

*simultaneously*

Mor: *laughing & crying🤣* she called me Norm?

Cassian: … where did she get the hat?

Azriel: WHO WAS SHE WINKING AT?!

[acourtofquestions]

*ACOTAR ending*

Feyre, sitting up to a crying Tamlin: … Whatchya doing?

Tamlin: You’re-you-were dead?.. I'm crying over you?

Lucien, glancing at Tamlin's healed wound: It appears she's as alive as you are… by some miracle of the gods…

Tamlin: It was an act of true love!

Rhys, muttering: Oh yes, "some miracle" of true love… because while he was busy “crying” I was busy dragging her ass back to life… but sure, whatever!

[acourtofquestions]

*Nesta at group-therapy/dinner in ACOSF*

Feyre, clears throat: So… Nesta what did you do today?

Nesta, staring at Rhys: I prevented a murder today.

Cassian: Oh, great job Ness!

Amren, smirking into her glass: How about asking her how?

Azriel, turning with suspicion: How?

Nesta, stabs fork into pasta: Self control.

Rhys, scoffs & drains glass: You wish!

Feyre: And what exactly does that mean?

Elain, sweetly muttering: I believe it was a slight to her capabilities when it comes to murder�� Azriel be a deer and pass me a garlic roll?

Azriel, doing just that: I believe it was a “humble brag”.

Amren: Ah, yes cause “not getting murdered” is a standard worth of bragging about now.

Cassian: Trust me… It is when it comes to avoiding Nesta’s wrath…

Rhys, turning flippantly: I can’t tell who that’s a burn for?!

Cassian, twirls fork & gestures between them: That’s the point!

Mor: I’m still concerned that the murder threats are coming frequently enough to be bragged about in avoidance…

Rhys: —That’s because you’re avoiding everything and gone all the time!

Nesta: Perhaps we should be asking WHY exactly Rhys is such a murderable person?.. That even his third feels the need to be gone all the time in the first place, perhaps to avoid HIM? Hmm…

Elain, muttering: Sounds to me like Mor had the only good idea here…

Feyre, silverware clattering: None of this is the point or idea here! You were supposed to say something cute…like… I don’t know “reading”!

Rhys, muttering: Yes, because there’s no way an Archeron could make a book into a weapon dangerous enough for murder.

Feyre, swirling between them: OKAY! THAT’S IT! *rapidly grabbing dishes*

Elain, muttering: I knew it… No more spaghetti!

Rhys & Nesta, turning: What?!

Azriel: I told you…

Elain: — Spaghetti is just too much excitement.

Cassian, looking to his now being taken plate: I really thought we were over this by now.

Amren: And this is why I don’t eat humans-chokes-WITH humans… *winks*

[acourtofquestions]

Edit: Okay someone’s def fucking with the fandom page cause it now says pronounced like “Tim-Lan”😂 lemme find a screenshot😂

Hold up…

Either Wikipedia is wrong (lol—what? NEVER!— shocking)

… Or Tamlin is TWO words NOT one

Tam Lin

Tamlin

I swore it was Tamlin not Tam Lin

[acourtofquestions]

Nesta: We need more help. Maybe I should call my friends.

Rhysand: … Your what?

Nesta: My friends.

Feyre: Is she saying “friends”?

Elain: I think she’s being sarcastic.

Azriel: No, no, no, this is delirium, she cracked from being awake all night trudging up and down the stairs.

Cassian: Hey, Nesta! All of your friends are in this room… unless you see anyone else? *whispers* —it better not be another “mating gift MONSTER”—

Amren: You lie! I am no one’s friend.

Nesta: I have other friends! You asked me to make new friends, I made new friends! It was a task. I complete tasks.

Cassian: Hi, my name is task! Can you complete—

Everyone: NO!

[acourtofquestions]

*the Valkyrie skipping stones on the lake*

Gwyn: It’s such a beautiful evening.

Nesta, whispering: Take that you fucking lake

Emerie: Yes! New high score!

[acourtofquestions]

Since (haven’t read CC yet) 3 Maasverse main characters thus far are artists in one way or another (something I love in fandoms and especially these/Maasverse)

With:

Aelin the musician (composer/piano forte player) & appreciator of the arts. Fashionista. & semi-ballerina.

Nesta the dancer (a lil lovely scene tidbit I thought was freeing and mostly fun)

And of course Feyre THE Artist (& best example as this is crucial to how she sees the world).

Especially with the latter 2 in ACOTAR & our Archerons; even their father was a wood carver/sculptor… (let’s stick with the latter phrase… cause it’s too soon for carver to be heard as anything other than CREEPY “bone carver”😅) … so that leaves us with one; Elain.

Random HC here but: what if Elain’s a singer?

Specifically thought of this because of a certain other “singer in the series” ;-) *psst* Azriel the “shadowsinger” cause while I know that’s not what they meant, it sounds fun to me :-)

[acourtofquestions]

*ACOWAR ending*

Amren: What up? I’m back.

Feyre: What the— You can’t be here— I literally saw you die.

Amren: Yes, you did. But here we all are as I could say the same about you and your mate. Surely, by now you must realize death is a social construct.

[acourtofquestions]

Feyre: Why isn’t the statue smirking at me?

Amren: It isn't smirking at anyone, they're all just imagining it.

Mor: Four of us saw it, Amren. How do you explain that?

Amren: (points at Azriel) Sleep deprivation. (points at Cassian) Paranoid. (points at Rhysand) Delusional personality disorder.

[acourtofquestions]

Anyone ever think about how Rhys name is basically Rizz?

[gwynlain]

Elain: Gwyn, do you have a date yet for Starfall?

Gwyn: No…

Elain: Well, you do now & forever! So, please take my hand, and get ready to dance like everyone’s watching Nesta!

[acourtofquestions]

…Somewhere between worlds…

Rhys: *winnowing silently* Hello, Feyre darling.

Feyre: *gasps & turns around to see*

Fenrys: 💥*pops in*💥 Thanks, Rice-Sand your pretty darling yourself!

Rhys: *confusedly turning around* Who the fu—WAIT—I said “Fay-Ruh”… AND FOR THE LOVE OF GODS MY NAME IS R-H-Y-S-A-N-D!!

Feyre: *Fenrys side bar* Sorry wolfy, Ricey is a little sensitive after Amren “forgot” everyone’s names at breakfast.

*camera pan*

Amren: Yes, I called him Rice. … When I feel people getting a little too chummy, I like to remind them I don’t really care about them or their name. … and also I knew it would drive him insane and things have been excruciatingly dull since the war ended.

[acourtofquestions]

So since Maasverse stories like to parallel Grimm fairytales could Celaena’s be Cinderella? … We’ve got the glass slipper as the glass castle (something left behind to come back for), we’ve got her pretending to be someone else so they might love/accept/not kill had, the dumb one but it fits cause tis true that she has the hair & look for it, she’s got plenty of evil stepmothers & step sisters, a fairy godmother aka ghost queen Elaina (plus an awesome animal sidekick dog), time table on EVERYTHING (lots of solstice’s & midnights), fae can turn into animals so let’s call that the mice/horse, she never wished to be queen (pretends to be commoner) goes from slave & servant to queen & warrior, at an awesome balm with a ballgown moment… there’s something there maybe?

[acourtofquestions]

Hold up…

Either Wikipedia is wrong (lol—what? NEVER!— shocking)

… Or Tamlin is TWO words NOT one

Tam Lin

Tamlin

I swore it was Tamlin not Tam Lin