#ALSO. SO MANY WARNINGS FOR THIS. past character death. implied murder. manipulation. a bit of body horror and unreality | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

liloinkoink · 3 years ago

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treebark week day 6, win/lose

based off my favorite movie, but you don’t need to know anything about it to read this as it doesn’t follow the actual plot at all

(been thinkin abt a baron omatsuri and the secret island au for dogwarts since august so i’m pretty thrilled to have an excuse to write it)

The King of Dogwarts is not dead, not if Martyn has anything to say about it.

Word of the kingdom’s fall spreads faster than even the fire which consumed its inner walls. A kingdom erased in the dead of night. Fires high enough to burn even the stars out of the sky. So much blood that even a month of rain couldn’t clear the muddy red from the streets. It had been a massacre, and no one had survived.

It’s a miracle, really, when a few months later, the King walks again.

Rumors are so easy to sensationalize the further they spread from their source, his Hand says, addressing the crowd as his King stands outside the door.

Don’t mention it to the King, he warns. It’s not something he likes to dwell on.

The King is a proud man, but his ordeal does not leave him unchanged. He stands tall as always, spine straight, towering above most of the others he meets. This regal posture simply reveals the large scar drawn in red across his throat. It’s hard to look at much else about him, when that vicious mark meets the eye.

A few wonder if that’s why he wears a new crown, now. Something taller, thicker, glistening with red gems. For how unwieldy the thing must be, he is never seen without it. It’s eye-catching, or it should be. Gives them somewhere else to look.

His Hand rarely leaves his side.

Movement returns to the streets of Dogwarts gradually. The citizens, thought to be dead, return in groups. Four, five, six at a time, families who fled in the night. One by one, the King’s court returns, Knights taking their seats back at his table.

Or that’s what trickles through the grapevine, at least. Few of the returned residents have been seen; The people of Dogwarts rarely leave their home anymore. Those who have been seen have come back… strange. Concerned friends mention pale skin, as though residents have stopped going outside. A great many have scars they won’t address, torn clothes they won’t change. The most outlandish rumors speak of strange sprouts growing from the heads of the kingdom’s residents, but rumors are so easy to sensationalize.

But Dogwarts is resilient.

Like a weed, the Hand says.

—

The King of Dogwarts is dead, not that he remembers it.

Ren wakes up in the dirt. Well, not in the dirt. “Ren wakes up on the ground,” would probably be more accurate. He doesn’t know where, exactly, it is that he’s woken up, but he knows it isn’t his bed, and that it’s damp, and that he’s not under any blankets.

Ren’s hand closes around a bundle of soil and he groans, weary even after resting, and then there’s a hand on his shoulder and another on his back, easing him into sitting up.

“Easy, Ren,” says a familiar voice laced with an unfamiliar worry. Ren opens his eyes to the sight of his Hand.

It should be a relief, Ren thinks, but Martyn doesn’t look… well. His skin is a sickly, washed-out white, and he’s lost the muscle and fat that used to fill out his bones. His eyes are rimmed with red, sunken and hollow. Even his hair seems almost as though he’s bleached it, dandelion blond turned from vibrant yellow to pale. Martyn, his sure and dependable Martyn, looks one wrong move from blowing away.

There are lilies in his hair that day, white and yellow and red, bursting out from below his headband like a crown.

Martyn has always grown flowers, an effect of the magic of Spring in his blood. They sprout from his hair, from his arms… Ren recalls one particularly noteworthy incident in which a number of little blooms had grown from his mouth, leaving him spitting petals for almost an hour. They usually disappear just as suddenly as they come, and Ren takes a quiet pleasure in learning what each one means, in reading the things his Hand doesn’t say.

Ren is not quite awake enough yet to remember what lilies mean, or to think of if he’s ever seen them on Martyn before. Ren is distracted, however, before he can come to an answer.

The flower on Martyn’s shoulder that day is new.

It’s an unsettling thing, that flower, strange and alive and knowing. Ren glances from Martyn to the flower, but Martyn doesn't pay the thing any special mind. It sways back and forth, humming off-key to a rhythm Ren doesn’t understand. Its voice is high, but muffled, as if it has something in its mouth. It smiles incessently, lips stretched wide but mouth always closed.

“Her name,” Martyn explains, when he sees Ren staring, “is Lily.” He takes both of Ren’s hands in his own, and his hands are clammy, but warm. “She saved our lives.”

That's all Martyn sees fit to explain. He releases Ren's hands, snaking his arms around Ren's back and crushing himself against Ren's chest, an ear to Ren’s heart. One hand moves to the back of Ren’s head, fingers twisting up in Ren’s hair. Ren wraps two arms back around Martyn’s shoulders, resting his chin on top of Martyn’s head.

Lilies, Ren remembers idly, are toxic to dogs.

—

The Lily Carnation is her full… title, or name, or genus—Ren isn’t sure. Ren isn’t sure about a lot of things.

The lilies don’t go away. The flowers seem to be a permanent fixture behind Martyn’s ear, pure white petals the only thing highlighting the fact some shade of yellow still exists in Martyn’s hair at all. They drown out all the other flowers Ren has come to love in his Hand, robbing him of color and expression.

(Ren used to be allergic, but they don’t bother him now. He thinks it must be because they’re Martyn’s, but he doesn’t test it.)

Martyn doesn’t go anywhere without her, the strange flower perching always on his shoulder, humming her tune. Ren hasn’t seen Martyn without a shirt since she appeared, but he shudders when he imagines the roots of the thing crawling down his Hand’s shoulder, gnarled things rippling below his skin.

(He wraps a hand around Martyn’s back one night, sitting together in front of the fire, just to be sure he doesn’t feel anything out of the ordinary by the shoulder blades. Martyn doesn’t react, but she does—Ren feels smooth, unbroken skin through the fabric of Martyn’s shirt, and she watches him, and she smiles.)

There’s a sprout in Ren’s hair. It’s rather large, a stubby stem attached to two flat leaves, each the size of Ren’s forearm. Ren makes a conscious effort not to picture roots when he sees it, but he feels closely the skin around its base for any odd lumps. Smooth, unbroken skin, just like Martyn. It’s not reassuring here, either.

Skizz and Etho and BigB have them, too, when they return. It takes them a while to turn up at Dogwarts, trickling back into the throne room one at a time.

Skizz, only as tall as Ren’s chest, boasts bright leaves right at Ren’s eye. He returns first, loud and bright in a silent castle.

BigB’s remind Ren of his own ears, pointing up out of his head. He returns next, and Martyn smiles easier with him around.

Etho’s droop, one leaf falling over the left side of his face. He returns last, and the court is complete at last.

(Skizz’s suit is torn in the front, jagged at the edges much like the ruins of his sleeves. BigB’s sweater has a new patch, a familiar flag stitched lopsided over his heart. Etho’s leaves and mask obscure a burn that Ren doesn’t know the shape or source of.)

More of Dogwarts’s citizens return. A couple, a family, half a neighborhood, until the city is full again with familiar faces.

(No one can tell Ren where they’ve been. Days, weeks, months of absence, and no one can tell him where they’ve gone. All anyone can remember is a steady hand on their shoulder, easing them up off the ground.)

Some days, Ren forgets the leaves are there. Others, he forgets he never had them. Ren’s head is a strange place to be, of late.

There’s a spot in Ren’s memory he can’t seem to make himself look at. He knows the city was attacked, but trying to pin down any one detail of that night feels like trying to catch smoke. Dwelling too long makes him feel… slower, somehow. His brain feels sluggish. His shoulders shudder. His spine wilts.

Martyn, his ever-present shadow, always seems to know when he’s thinking about it. With a smile, a scheme, a joke, Martyn redirects Ren’s murky mind, and the smoke and haze clear. Ren trusts him, always—Ren is sure, at least, of this.

Martyn calls her Lily. Ren… doesn’t think about her, or he tries not to. There are a lot of things Ren doesn’t think about.

—

The King of Dogwarts is not dead, and the world is never short on people in need of a miracle.

People visit. They seek audiences with the King. They ask for miracles.

Ren is not a miracle worker, but he offers what he can. Sometimes it’s things he can grant—tools and armor, enhanced with magic.

Most visitors don’t need trinkets, though. They ask for miracles.

Bring back my son and I want to see my wife again and They died too soon and Just one more day and I’ll pay anything and I miss my mom and He was my best friend and I need them and I loved him and I love her and Please.

But Ren is not a miracle worker. He doesn’t understand why so many people think he is. He looks to Martyn, guilty and apologetic and pleading, and Martyn leads them away.

—

Dandelions may be known as pests, but they have a meaning like any other flower. They are flowers of resilience, of sprouting in cracked concrete, of finding warmth at the end of a long winter. Dandelions are best known for their magic; When their seeds are blown away, dandelions are said to grant wishes.

Martyn takes the desperate and desolate away when Ren starts to squirm. It’s the only time he leaves his King’s side.

Outside the throne room, where Ren cannot hear him, a sympathetic hand finds a grieving shoulder. Martyn smiles, but more than anything else, it is hungry.

“Would you like to see her?” Martyn asks, “My miracle?”

(No dandelion survives making a wish.)

—

The kingdom of Dogwarts is dead, erased in the dead of night. Fires high enough to burn even the stars out of the sky. So much blood that even a month of rain couldn’t clear the muddy red from the streets.

The knights had fallen, to an arrow and a sword and a blazing fire. The head of the king had rolled across his throne room’s floor, his red carpets stained vibrant. The people had fought, and their fight had been noble, but it had been a massacre, and no one had survived.

No one except one lonely Hand, severed from his heart.

It had been a tragedy, really. Anyone who had met the King had met his Hand, and anyone who had met the Hand had known his loyalty, his dedication. It’s a difficult thing, to be so alone in the world, to be so completely robbed of purpose.

The white lily is known to symbolize purity, innocence. It is also a symbol of mourning, a popular choice to decorate a casket at a funeral.

The Lily Carnation is a special flower, with very particular conditions in which she blooms. Her soil is watered only with blood. She sprouts only in the earth of graves. She can take root only in the heart of true despair.

She grants miracles, but her cost is steep. A life for a life is a bargain, after all—Lily grants a life in exchange for feeding an incessant hunger; a life for life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life after life.

But Martyn would do anything for Ren. Pay any price, carry any burden, do any terrible, terrible thing.

The King of Dogwarts is not dead, not if Martyn has anything to say about it.

#the only thing i’ve watched more times than third life is this movie. which i’ve seen 20+ times #op movie 6 my absolute best beloved #treebarkweek #adventreebark #adventreebark2022 #lew writes #lew library #ALSO. SO MANY WARNINGS FOR THIS. past character death. implied murder. manipulation. a bit of body horror and unreality #i just need everyone to remember y’know. lamplight is nice but i’m an angst/horror writer first!

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venusluvrr · 4 years ago

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The Psychological Horror Manhwa “Killing Stalking” is not a Romance, but an Emotional Series Depicting the Codependent Relationship Between Two Ill Individuals

Content Warning!!: contains mentions of sexual abuse (rape) and mental illness.

Killing Stalking is an immensely twisted webcomic series, mainly popular within the Yaoi community for its boy on boy focused plotline. The story follows characters Yoon Bum (Bum), a shy, scrawny young man with a haunting past filled with abuse, and Oh Sangwoo (Sangwoo), a younger man who also has a quite damaging upbringing but masks it perfectly with his vibrant, extroverted personality. After being saved from a rape attempt during his time serving in the military, Bum develops a crush on his saviour, Sangwoo, from which an unhealthy obsession starts to arise and he eventually finds himself locating and breaking into the man’s home one day when he’s out. When he does, he discovers a terribly injured woman being held captive in his basement, and with further evidence, soon comes to the realization that his crush is actually a serial killer -- hence the name “Killing Stalking,” as Sangwoo kills and Bum stalks. For a very specific reason though, Sangwoo decides not to kill the man that had been stalking him, and instead holds him hostage in his custody. From here, the story goes into exceeding depth of the abnormal, toxic, and manipulative relationship the two form during their time spent together. By just the mere description of it, it’s a bit concerning to know that a large portion of readers still support Sangwoo and Bum’s relationship. In other words, they believe they truly loved each other and that the story was not only horror fiction but a romance as well. One could easily come to this conclusion by basing their relationship on the few parts within the novel where they showed affection towards each other -- for example when Bum allows Sangwoo to hug him to sleep when he suffered through the night, or my personal favourite, when Sangwoo buys Bum a stuffed frog keychain after finding out that he had an affinity for such creatures. But we cannot simply dismiss the underlying factors of their relationship because of some cute things they did that made our heart melt -- Sangwoo still abused Bum at his leisure which makes those moments quite meaningless in the sense of it all. What Sangwoo and Yoonbum shared can’t be classified as “love,” because even with their peculiar bond and endearing moments, the psychological damage they both endured played a bigger part in the way they perceived each other.

Many toxic relationships start out lovely and glamorous until the couple have become comfortable enough to start revealing some bad habits, but in Sangwoo and Bum’s case, they were already off to a bad start, as the reason they remained with each other was solely for reasons pertaining to their poor mental health.

At the time Sangwoo saved Bum in the military, Bum still suffered from Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) -- a disorder he inferrably developed due to the fact that he grew up being constantly physically and sexually abused by the people around him. People with this illness may easily develop an infatuation for a person who shows them even the least bit of care; It can reach the point where they begin to idolize them and see them almost as a perfect human being -- which is exactly how Bum viewed Sangwoo after he helped him to escape a rape attempt. The likely specific term for what Sangwoo was to Bum is a Favourite Person (FP). To an individual suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder, their FP is everything -- their self-worth, identity and emotional dependency all rely on this one person, making them the center of their lives. In contrast to this sincere fondness, the only reason Sangwoo kept Bum alive was because of the man’s resemblance to his late mother -- the one person in his life who he truly loved. While his father was abusive and negligent, his mother tried her best to care for her son even while her own mental stability wasn’t so great either. Even though it was implied that he was responsible for the murder of both his mother and father in high school -- getting away with it scotch-free because of how perfectly executed his plan was -- he still shared a special bond with the woman, allowing her existence follow and continue to torutue him mentally as he grew older. When he saw Yoonbum, he felt as if she had been somewhat resurrected, or at least he could pretend so by dressing him up in his mother’s clothes and making him cook and do the chores; He also played the husband role by abusing and assaulting Bum just as his father did to his mother -- mostly just out of his own nature. Sangwoo had his own issues, “mommy issues,” and he initially needed to keep Bum alive so he could fulfill his own longing desires. Knowing the man’s character though, things wouldn’t end there and instead headed down a very gruesome and frightful path.

The very reasons that the two were drawn to each other we’re even more evident the longer they lived under the same roof. While Yoonbum continued to recall the perfect image he had of Sangwoo in his head, Sangwoo continued to manipulate the man in order to satisfy his own needs. A healthy relationship cannot be based on deceit, because one person will end up victimized instead of loved.

Oh Sangwoo is a sadistic sociopath with a history of kidnapping, abusing, raping and torturing innocent people, and because of his illness, he shows feels and shows no remorse for his actions and even proceeds to kill off his victims as they pleaded in objection. What some people don’t understand is that when Sangwoo met Bum, the only reason he treated him differently was not because he thought of him as special, but because he had a personal agenda that included making Bum think that was the truth and that he was indeed the favoured victim among many. It’s no surprise with the man’s manipulative personality that he would enjoy planting a lie in Bum’s head to make him stay and continue to do as he says, and this is confirmed whenever he returned back to his old destructive habits even after showing the man acts of affection. Yes, Sangwoo spared Bum’s life, clothed him and fed him, but as their bond grew, his narcissistic attitude was still more apparent than ever.

Upon meeting Bum for the first time, Sangwoo didn’t hesitate to aggressively break his ankles to prevent his mobility, he left the man within the dark confinement of his basement for a certain period of time before letting him out only after he had gained his trust. He made him sit in a chair to wash dishes and make dinner because he could no longer stand. Sangwoo also constantly dragged Bum down with derogatory words and statements every chance he could get, this included calling him a “retard,” and referring to him as a “disgusting” and “filthy” human being. As confirmed by the author, Sangwoo is also heterosexual, which is further proved by the homophobic remarks he made towards a significantly older man who was sexually attracted to him while murdering him with Bum’s aid. This fact alone is another one that should justify a strong point that demonstrates the true hostility of their relationship -- Yoonbum never gave his consent to have sex with Sangwoo, nor did he allow it to happen because “he wanted it.” He specifically used phrases such as, “No,” “Stop,” and “It hurts,” implying that sometimes there was no mutual agreement when they had sex and Sangwoo had actually raped him several times.

People with Borderline Personality Disorder have been reported to have difficulties seeing the faults in their partner -- this explains why Bum still held on to him. He chose to stay when he had the chance to escape, and with tears rolling down his face from excruciating pain he still told Sangwoo he loved him. In a scene where Bum is left alone with the police as they investigate the suspicions they have surrounding him, he questions them saying, “Could you kiss somebody like me? Could you love somebody like me?” As he believes nobody but Sangwoo could answer yes to those two questions, convinced that Sangwoo really does have feelings for him. It’s saddening to know that the poor man had successfully been lured into a trap, and because of his mental health it would be much harder for him to realize it.

To the readers that think, “Sangwoo and Yoonbum needed each other,” -- You’re not completely wrong. They did need each other in the way that they found somewhat of a saneness from each other’s presence, each using one another to each other’s benefit. But being together at the same time built on their insanity, as the presence of Sangwoo’s mother seemed to grow even more prevalent with Bum, who resembled her, also in the picture, and Yoonbum growing so unhealthily attached to Sangwoo that he constantly feared of abandonment and turned the sociopath into the only source of his happiness. They needed each other, but not for the right reasons. They were attached to each other, but there was no love, otherwise it would reflect throughout the story. One of the most debate-worthy scenes that challenge this fact is when Sangwoo is reported by an old lady in the hospital, the one that had ended his life, that he was calling out Bum’s name throughout the night as he lay in his deathbed. Those were his final words, and Yoonbum’s final word was also Sangwoo’s name before he was very well implied to have been hit by a car while he chased an illusion of the man he “loved.” Even I almost felt that this was solid proof that even through the tough and terrible of their relationship, deep inside, the two really were in love but could not express it in the right way due to their mental health issues -- after all, what someone makes of their final moments before death is much more meaningful than most of what they've done in their life entirely. But I came to realize that the only way I could support this relationship would be if they had met in an alternate universe where they did not suffer from such dreadful childhood trauma that made them into the hurting individual they had become before meeting each other. As difficult as it is for me to picture the two with different partners, it would be best if the two had not met at all as they only fed into the severity of their conditions.

#killing stalking #sangwoo #yoonbum #yaoi #horror #manhwa

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m-aster-of-spinjitzu · 4 years ago

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Akita and Zane talk after the battle in 'Awakenings'. The conversation... doesn't go as either of them expect.

Prompt: memories, from @ninjago-bingo‘s warm board:D

Trigger warnings: implied self harm (one or two characters dig their fingernails into their hands), discussion and introspection about most of the crimes the 'Emperor' committed, a lot of talk and introspection about murder.

Word count: 4682 (I've literally been writing this for like a month lol, kinda disappointed it ended up fairly short:/)

"We have to talk."

The girl with red markings on her face - Akita, he heard Lloyd call her - unsheathes her short dagger, eyes narrowed to slits.

He glances around the throne room, hands pressed to his head. The memories were still trickling through; strange islands and a forest of snow, a dungeon and... a noodle factory?

"Alright," he says quietly. She bears the same red marks of the bear he can remember Vex convincing him was a criminal, many winters ago. That could only mean-

It wasn't you, he reminds himself. It was the scroll, and the actions of a power hungry traitor.

You gave the order, his now infallible memory supplies, and, honestly, he has no rebuttal for that.

"Alright," he echoes meekly, trying to muster some emotion into his voice. "I know-"

"No," she cuts him off roughly, her eyes scanning the room. It is just the two of them now - the samurai had fled once they had recovered from the strange trance he had put them in. Vex had been locked in the dungeon by Lloyd, who was helping any of the samurai who could not quite remember their old lives.

He had ruled for sixty years. Some of their families might dead, some by their own hands.

They know this. He knows this.

Irrationally, he wishes there was some way to fix this. A spell, or a way to turn back the clock; some way to yell at a younger Zane to just scout the cave-

There is no way backward; only forward, out of this winter - and, possibly, into another one.

He stares at the girl in front of him, taking in her tattered clothing, the ease with which she holds her weapon. She's not afraid to fight.

"I don't owe you an explanation, Emperor," Akita says definitely, forcing out the words. "But you will give me one, or you shall never see the light of day again. My brother-"

His heart lurches, eyes widening. Brother.

"Knows that the dungeon has many empty cells," she finishes sharply, barely contained anger flashing in her eyes.

He keeps the facts brief, concise. Once this is all over, he can dwell on them - agonize over what he should have done; use it to be better next time. Atone for his mistakes, even if he can never truly make up for them.

"A snake capable of sorcery used a magic scepter to blast me and a vehicle to this realm. I was sent here sixty years into the past, which is why it took my friends so long to find me. I was also holding a similar magic scepter - one which amplifies the holder's power, but if held for too long, it corrupts one's mind."

"I know what happens next."

How-

"I watched your message to your friends," she replies curtly, by way of explanation. "I did not know that you and the Emperor were one and the same. Continue."

"Vex interrupted a process I was using to try and fix a- vehicle, which caused me to lose my memories. He told me that I was ill. He said that he was a great friend of mine, and that this realm belonged to me. He convinced me that Formlings were warmongers, and that the rightful king had overthrown me. Just before he almost killed Lloyd, he said something that caused my memories to return."

She frowns. "I do not understand. How does one lose their memories so easily?"

Akita stares at his metal skin, her eyes widening as if noticing it for the first time.

"I am not quite like you-"

"I know," she interjects, eyes brimming with anger. "I am not a murderer."

"I was... created," he replies, quietly. "Out of extra materials. I can act like others, but I do not always understand emotions in the same way."

Akita frowns again, raising her dagger. Her voice grows a dangerous edge; sharp and cold. "You never realized that your actions were wrong?"

They're entering dangerous territory. Some part of him wants to derail the conversation; stick to the facts and leave his emotions out of this.

But he owes her an explanation - he owes everyone an explanation. He owes them so much more, if only he could give it to them; erase the past and leave their quiet realm in peace.

"Before I came here, I would never have done such things - if I had my memories, I would never have done such things. Vex convinced me that they were the only way I could defend my throne. I did not know that they were wrong. The moment I realized what I had done, I tried to help your side. The right side," he finishes, ignoring the temptation to stare down at the floor instead of into her blazing eyes.

An indecipherable expression crosses her face. "You never talked to another? One of your... army, perhaps?" "Vex gave all the orders. He just asked me for approval. I never left this room." "And you approved them," she muttered, but it seemed to serve more as a reminder to herself than it did to him.

"What was your life like, before you entered our world?" Akita asks suddenly, suspicion still coating her voice. He blinks, the question unexpected.

"My friends and I can control and create different elements," he began, hesitantly. Carefully. "We were taught to fight. We protect our city from those-" "You were built to protect those who cannot protect themselves."

"Those who cannot protect themselves," Zane finishes, guilt making his vision hazy.

He quickly blinks away the tears, all too aware of her persistent gaze.

"Two more questions," she says quickly, glancing behind her. "This room makes me uncomfortable. And so do you." The accusation is clear, but her eyes are not quite as cold as they had been earlier.

"What do you feel now?" Akita asks roughly, taking a step back. "You mentioned earlier that you do not feel emotions the same way that we do. Explain."

I could lie, he thinks, fleetingly. What if my feelings convince her that I am the Emperor even more than I am Zane? A voice at the back of his mind points out that he is - was - the Emperor.

He knows this.

He knows that he will have to acknowledge it once they are back home.

He knows that he cannot dwell on it now, or the winter will go on - inside his mind instead of outside it.

"I feel... guilt," he begins. "For the terrible crimes I have committed. Horror, at my own actions. Anger, towards that traitor. Relief - that I am no longer under his influence." An eyebrow touches her forehead, ever so slightly.

"How guilty?" It is almost a challenge, her voice rising in pitch threateningly.

"I will spend the rest of my life working to atone for my mistakes," Zane answers sincerely, resisting the irrational urge to squeeze his eyes shut. "However, I know that nothing I can do will ever undo them. But I can help others from people who- who... seek to manipulate them," he finishes quietly, a remorseful sigh punctuating the confession.

Akita says nothing; lips pressed in a hard line. Her blank, steadfast gaze meets his. The dagger clatters to the ground.

He draws in a breath sharply.

Picking it up, she squares her shoulders defiantly. "My people will know that... that there were two prisoners within these walls," she sighs, the weariness in her voice all too evident.

Yet he does not miss her glare; a barely contained anger that lurks just beneath the surface.

Akita straightens her spine, frowning menacingly as her hand tightens on the dagger.

He resists the irrational urge to take a step back.

"My brother and I will never forgive you," she snarls.

You do not have to, he would like to say. But he suspects that she already knows this.

"Come near either of us again, and I will make you long for death."

She shifts to her wolf form, baring her teeth - but when she stalks closer, he does not back away.

Suddenly, he is all-too-aware of the fact that the throne room is currently empty - bar the two of them.

He does not move.

It is not as if she could harm him - titanium is not easily damaged (yet, some part of him wonders if that is a blessing or curse), but they have faced enough villains for him to know how it works.

The villains die at the end; rightfully so.

Why should this be any different?

"You will pay for your crimes," Akita growls, shifting between her forms as if it is second nature. It probably is. "Emperor."

Her dagger clatters to the ground once again.

He does not move.

Why should this be any different?

---

"What's taking her so long?"

"Who?" The Samurai asks, the confusion on his face only amplifying.

"No- nothing," he mumbles, wincing. The adrenaline is wearing off - and with it, the fleeting distraction from the pain coursing through his chest.

Broken ribs? Probably. But he's got bigger problems to worry about - his minor injuries don't really matter when there's a warrior (because after all that she's been through, he thinks that she deserves the title - even if it's one she would never have wanted) seeking vengeance, someone who could tear apart this castle, brick by brick if she wanted to, alone with his brother.

His brother - who'd taken hers; encased her village in a tomb of ice, leaving behind no one but a teenager consumed with blinding anger - rightfully so, he admits, a bit wearily.

What happened to you, Zane?

Are you even... there? The person who used to stay awake with me when all I saw was the building crumbling before my eyes, night after night? The one who swore to protect those who couldn't protect themselves?

Are you still there?

"Can I, er, go inside?" he asks no one, trying not to breathe too hard. The Ice Samurai he'd been trying to help had vanished, most probably to try and get answers from someone else.

He owes it to these people to help them - if he'd just been faster, stronger, better, Aspheera could never have-

Not now, Lloyd!

He should probably open the doors - try and diffuse whatever fight they'd gotten into. Akita reminds him of Kai; both of them fiercely protective of those whom they care about, yet sometimes clouded by rage so thick they can barely see out of it.

But he's hesitating - there's always the possibility that her anger; prison of its own, might extend to him.

Not that he even has the right to condemn her for it, though.

Unwillingly, a fleeting thought presses itself to the forefront of his mind; beautiful white hair, a soft voice coated in honey-

Broken ribs, he reminds himself stubbornly, grimacing at the flare of pain as he draws in a breath sharply. She's gone, she's gone, and it's-

He bites his lip until the tang of iron fills his mouth, eyes fixed determinedly on the floor.

Not now, Lloyd!

Slowly, carefully, he pushes the door open. It creaks softly - but he doesn't think anyone hears it.

Oh, no.

---

"Akita?" a voice questions, hesitantly. He's half-leaning against the door, blonde hair almost completely hiding wary eyes all but squeezed shut in pain.

She stiffens, ignoring the part of her that learns to hunt, murder, the- the monster-

Blinking, quickly, she allows her mind to embrace the sharp, cold air on her fur, and her harsh, ragged breathing - until she can almost feel the shift in her heart, trading instinct for a different type of clarity, white fur for skin and hair.

Grabbing her dagger, she halfheartedly swipes it at the boy who makes her cheeks redder than they usually are, the boy who travelled across the ice seeking a murderer-

Well. He is in no condition to help anyone - they both know this.

But he does not have the right to interfere with this conversation - her feelings do not matter when his friend is-

"Leave us," she snarls, fingers digging into the hilt of her dagger. "What makes you think you have the right?"

Her voice grows colder, but she can't quite keep the tremor out of it.

"You did not find your village half-dead, or spend months mourning your brother," Akita snaps, frustration seeping into the words. Why does he always have to make everything so complicated?

"I know," he replies, hesitantly, eyes flitting between the room and the door. "But... this isn't the right thing to do, Akita."

"Do you think it was right for your friend to seize power from our rightful ruler? Do you think he was right when he imprisoned an innocent child for so many years?"

She doesn't bother to keep the venom out of her voice, ignoring the fact that the light brown of her skin has almost faded to white where she grips her weapon.

Taking a step closer, she bites her lip.

If he will make this his fight, so will she.

"The girl I told you about," Lloyd interjects. "H- Harumi." He forces out the name, as if the very mention of it ails him.

She raises her eyebrows. "What are you going to do? Distract me with stories about your girlfriend while he," Akita glares at the Emperor with a sigh, "escapes?"

"No," he replies softly. Brushing the hair out of his eyes, she doesn't miss his poorly concealed wince.

This is the friend he seeks?

There's a fragile silence, one of which she refuses to shatter. Nothing he can say will erase the horrific actions of this- this power-hungry ruler who has abused the gift he has been given; persecuted their lands, and forced innocents into lives ruled by fear and hatred.

"I- er-" Lloyd starts, visibly uncomfortable with saying... whatever it is he is trying to say.

She does not interrupt, but does not take her eyes off the Emperor, either. He has not moved or even contributed to their exchange yet.

Good, she thinks fervently. She does not need to force herself to try and feel sympathy for a man she has hated for so many long winters, one who has taken a piece of her heart and locked it away in a tiny prison cell.

"Did I ever tell you that- that... I watched her die?" he asks, aiming for a casual tone.

The hurt subconsciously laced into it makes something in her heart twist, as if it had been pierced by a shard of glass.

Outwardly, she does nothing more than raise an eyebrow.

For all the days they have spent trekking across the ice together, it suddenly dawns on her how little she actually knows about him.

"No," she replies carefully, dragging out the word. "Why?" "She-"

Akita can almost see his internal struggle - anger and fear and indecision and something she can't quite place her finger on meshing into another thing entirely.

"She- tried to murder," Lloyd flinches at the word, nails digging into his palms, "my friends. And I was forced to watch, helpless," he whispers, so softly that she has to strain to hear it.

"But when she- she died in a crumbling building, I- was... the one who caused it to fall."

"Your point?" she snaps; voice as sharp as her blade. He is the only thing standing between her and the Emperor; between the growing hatred she had allowed to fester for all this time, because one day she would finally make him pay-

Her friend visibly winces.

Too late does she realize her mistake, a fact that leaves her a bit sick to the stomach.

That's nothing compared to the bout of nausea that accompanies another realization, juts a second later.

How could I let my anger hurt another - one who did not deserve to receive it? Am I truly any better than the one whom I have condemned?

Well. The logical side of her mind points out that it is her choice to forgive, for such unforgivable acts; that the anger that had doused everything in its hue, every day, was to be expected-

"I apologize... for my conduct," she says quickly, forcing herself to meet his eyes. "You have never hurt me. I did not mean to hurt you." "It's okay- this- this isn't my fight anyway," Lloyd replies quickly, fingers wrapped around the door handle - but she doesn't even think he's aware of the fact. "I just- I just wanted to share something with you, something I wish someone would've shared with me, because-" He's rambling, words practically coated in a jumble of shaky nerves. "What is it?" Akita asks softly, losing a little of the stiffness in her tone.

"Murder- it isn't right," he repeats, hands pressed to his forehead. "But... it'll hurt you more than it will anyone else. I can't go a week without seeing her fall in my dreams, over and over again. I should've been glad, I guess... she'd hurt my friends and I so many times. But- but I'm the one with the nightmares, and all this- guilt. And I care- I care you, Akita. I know that I'll never understand how you've been hurt by- by the Emperor... just, think about how it'll affect you." Akita's eyes widen incredulously, but he's not done. "Just- don't let someone else make you hurt yourself." His voice is about a pitch higher than normal, but neither of them really register it. "Sometimes, the best kind of revenge is refusing..." Lloyd trails off, his eyes squeezed shut (a second later, he opens them again, blinking profusely), "to let anyone... make you hurt them."

Irrationally, she wants to break something.

That advice offers... an entirely new perspective. One that she had never thought of.

One that is- is unwanted, she insists fervently.

And now his fingers are pressing into his hands again, so tightly that she almost wants to yell - stop it, idiot, you're hurting yourself! - at him. "Because... it might haunt you lot more. And if they- they- really want to hurt you?" Both of them ignore the erratic, painful looking way his breathing starts to hitch just then.

"Don't give them... the satisfaction of it - by- your own hands."

Her mouth drops open.

No words come out.

What?

Out of the corner of her eye, she watches Lloyd slowly - a bit too carefully - push the door shut behind him. It creaks softly, but neither of the two left standing in the room really hear it.

She squeezes her eyes shut, far too many emotions almost crashing through her mind.

"You seek to rescue your friend. I seek revenge."

Blinking the world back into focus, her mind whirls and whirls; the storm unrelenting.

"I seek revenge."

What exactly did that mean to her?

She...

She did not quite know the answer now.

---

Akita does not speak for some time, her thoughtful expression plainly clashing with one of anger.

He does not speak, either, although it is for a different reason.

Lloyd's words have forced him to face the reality he has been avoiding ever since he smashed his scepter on the ground - ever since the decade-long winter had ended.

"And if they really want to hurt you? Don't give them the satisfaction of it - by your own hands."

"If they really want to hurt you."

There is only one whom Lloyd could have been referring to.

"You were built to protect those who cannot protect themselves."

Somewhere within his mind, he is aware of the fact that the second his memories returned, the staff lay in pieces on the floor; all of that corrupted ice shattering into nothing.

He is also aware of the fact that sixty years of tyranny will leave behind much more than an altered climate.

If they even get back to Ninjago, what will have become of his city? It took his friends decades to find him - what could have happened during all that time?

Friends. Does he even have a right to call them that?

He is not quite sure - or even sure if all of them will be as forgiving as Lloyd.

The Green Ninja had always strived to find the best in people - to believe that anyone could make up for their mistakes, that they would want to. It had been to his friend's detriment, once - yet Lloyd had never quite given up on the world, in the same way that many of them had. Maybe it was some sort of childish naivety - or maybe it was just in his nature to hope, even after all they had been through, that everyone had some good inside them.

Yet, he had never met anyone who shared his friend's mindset - or at least to that extent.

Kai knows what it is like to have a sibling kidnapped, taken from them for no rhyme or reason - other than the fact that a cruel ruler who seeks power and exploits those around them for it will stop at nothing to get what they want.

Cole knows what it is like to die (well, almost, his logic points out) - to be imprisoned within yourself; a husk of a person, unable to live your life to the fullest.

His mind flashes to the thousands of innocent villagers he had frozen in icy prisons, practically caskets-

Irrationally, his hands begin to shake.

He chooses not to focus on that.

Nya used to hunt down those who hurt others, he recalls - and then squeezes his eyes shut.

Is she not quite similar to Akita in that regard?

The realization leaves him more gutted than he thought was possible. Had he really become the very person his friends worked so hard to stop?

He clenches his fists, the titanium covering his fingers grating together.

At least I am no longer holding the scroll, he thinks, fervently. Before long, the memory of a clear, quiet night pulls itself to the forefront of his mind.

The echo of a whispered confession; a brief explanation mixed with tears and shaking hands. A voice usually so bright, silenced to the shaky murmur of "I watched her die, Zane, and it was all my fault, it's all my fault-"

It was then when he had learned of- of an alternate timeline, his processor had inputted seamlessly. Another reality, wiped from their minds and the press of time. One that only existed in the memories of two of his best friends.

One that resulted in poorly concealed winces, seemingly arbitrary flinches, Nya throwing out any dresses she owned and Jay practically shaking with fear when he was asked to do certain chores. One that resulted in scars that ran far deeper than those of venom or sword. His memories had been useless then, too, his mind points out. How could he have let two of his best friends suffer for weeks on end, when he was able to upgrade or encrypt his memory drive at any time? When he was a n- robot, and should be able to recover memories that had been deleted or erased? The others could never be afforded that opportunity - yet, he had let the team down when it mattered most. If he could not be there for others, try to help them protect them from a force unable to ever be completely defeated, would he ever even halfway fulfill his purpose? He had pondered all of those questions - had ignored the pang in his heart when many pieces of the figurative puzzle clicked into place, for many weeks afterward. He had almost immediately vowed to be better - to ensure that his purpose did not go unfulfilled.

His purpose, he thought bitterly, as he squeezed his eyes shut. What had become of it now?

Another question to ponder, he supposed. And the realization that Jay - one of his brothers, one who was always equipped with a weapon and a joke too - would forever know what it was like to be kidnapped, held hostage, simply because a power-hungry figure cared less for another than anyone ever should.

Akita's brother had been scarcely less than a child - after his imprisonment. How could he have strayed so far from his original goals - how could he have strayed so far from what he had supposedly fervently stood for?

---

Lloyd's words still ring in her ears, his weary tone not quite matching their crazy implications.

She rubs her temples, frustrated. This was definitely not what she had come here for! She had come for vengeance - vengeance for the terrible crimes the Ice Emperor had committed, against her village, her brother, even her-

But what was the point of revenge if she was the one left scarred? a small voice in the back of her mind points out, doing nothing but adding to her indecision.

I cannot do this, she insists fervently, thinking of her brother's worn face - and the years he had spent imprisoned; a lone figure silently mourning a sister he did not know still trekked the ice.

Just as she had been mourning him, she thinks sadly. The pang in her heart may have lessened since she had realized that he was still alive, but it was still horrifying to think that he had lost decades of his life - she had lost decades of hers, too, in a different way, she muses - saddened, alone, imprisoned.

But is this what he would have wanted? For her?

He had always been the calmer, logic-based one. She was always running into fights, the one fueled by emotion and anger.

Well. She spares a moment for the future.

The Emperor would leave their world - possibly, to haunt another. She would remain here - with her brother and her village, the woods and the towering peaks of the mountains.

I only have this one chance, she reminds herself firmly. She fixes her eyes on the strange blue ones of the Emperor, and sees a future ruled by that one decision.

Her gaze flits towards the doorway, and she sees a future there, too.

She sighs, dropping her eyes to the ground.

But Katuru would want me to- to-

Be happy, she realizes, jarringly.

Taking a deep breath, she bites her lip.

"Will taking your life make me happy? Will it make up for the years of pain we have endured at your hands?"

Her voice rings out, hesitant yet determined.

"I wish it were so," she confesses wearily, ignoring the ache in her hands. She's been gripping the hilt of her dagger for so long, the blade's almost pierced her skin. "Alas, it is not."

The Emperor meets her gaze, but not completely - out of guilt? Fear? Anger?

She does not have the time to ponder meaningless questions.

"I despise you with every fiber of my being, you coward," Akita snarls, some of the anger she has become so accustomed to bleeding its way into her words. "But I will not tarnish my hands on someone as worthless as you, when you presently pose no threat to me."

The words spill from her mouth, but she almost wants to stuff them back inside at that very second.

This isn't why I came here! This isn't what I was supposed to do-

Another voice cuts through the one in her head, a weary confession from someone she knew nothing and everything about.

"Don't give them the satisfaction of it - by your own hands.

The next words she utter fill the room - steady, unwavering.

"Leave our world, and never return. Never. You have treated my people as if you are a monster, yet you say that you are sorry. As if you could ever care - after everything you have done to us!"

Akita sheathes her dagger, indecision still weighing heavily on her mind.

"I hope that you are as haunted by your time here as we all are," she spits, walking towards the door. She does not look behind her, but packs as much bitterness as she can into the last word she utters before the door closes behind her.

"Emperor."

---

A/N - I know this wasn't great, but honestly, it was really interesting to write and challenged me to think about certain things quite a bit. If you did read it, thank you so much!:D

#the ice chapter #ninbingo #ninjago zane #ninjago lloyd #ninjago akita #ns11 #zane julien #lloyd garmadon #ninjago fanfiction

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terramythos · 4 years ago

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TerraMythos 2021 Reading Challenge - Book 10 of 26

Title: The Picture of Dorian Gray (1890)

Author: Oscar Wilde

Genre/Tags: Fiction, Gothic Horror, Third-Person, LGBT Protagonist (I... guess)

Rating: 8/10

Date Began: 4/13/2021

Date Finished: 4/20/2021

When artist Basil Hallward paints a picture of the beautiful and innocent Dorian Gray, he believes he’s created his masterpiece. Seeing himself on the canvas, Dorian wishes to remain forever young and beautiful while the portrait ages in his stead. The bargain comes true. While Dorian grows older and descends a path of hedonism and moral corruption, his portrait changes to reflect his true nature while his physical body remains eternally youthful. As his debauchery grows worse, and the portrait warps to reflect his corruption, Dorian’s past begins to catch up to him.

Perhaps one never seems so much at one’s ease as when one has to play a part. Certainly no one looking at Dorian Gray that night could have believed that he had passed through a tragedy as horrible as any tragedy of our age. Those finely-shaped fingers could never have clutched a knife for sin, nor those smiling lips have cried out on God and goodness. He himself could not help wondering at the calm of his demeanour, and for a moment felt keenly the terrible pleasure of a double life.

Full review, some spoilers, and content warnings under the cut.

Content warnings for the book: Misogyny (mostly satirical). Racism and antisemitism (not so much). Emotional manipulation, blackmail, suicide, graphic murder, and death. Recreational drug use.

Reviewing a classic novel through a modern lens is always going to be a challenge for me. The world seems to change a lot every decade, let alone every century—whether some canonized classic holds up today is pretty hit or miss (sorry, English degree). And considering the sheer amount of academic focus on classic texts, it’s not like I’m going to have a “fresh take” on one for a casual review. I read and reviewed The Count of Monte Cristo last year, and thought it aged remarkably well over 170+ years.

Somehow I never read Oscar Wilde’s The Picture of Dorian Gray for school. I tried reading it independently in my late teens/early twenties, and honestly think I was just too stupid for it. Needing a shorter read before the next Murderbot book releases at the end of the month, I grabbed Dorian Gray off the shelf and decided to give it another shot. By the end, I was pleasantly surprised how much I liked the book.

I’m actually going to discuss my pain points before I get into what worked for me. The first half of the book is very slow-paced. The Picture of Dorian Gray is famous for… well… the picture. But it isn’t relevant until the halfway point of the novel, when Dorian does something truly reprehensible and finds his image in the picture has changed. There’s a lot of setup before this discovery. The first half of the book has a lot of fluff, with characters talking about stuff that happened off screen, discussing various philosophies, and so on without progressing the story. Some of this is fine, as it establishes Dorian’s initial character so the contrast later is all the more striking. I just think it could have been shorter. I realize this comes down to personal taste.

I’m also torn on the Wilde’s writing style. He’s very clever, and there are many philosophical ideas in his writing that did genuinely made me stop and think. The prose is also beautiful and descriptive; this is especially useful when it contrasts the horror elements of the story. However, there’s a lot of unnatural, long monologue in the story. Not sure if it’s the time period, Wilde’s background as a playwright, or just his writing style in general (maybe all three), but the characters ramble a LOT. My favorite game was trying to imagine how other characters were reacting to a literal wall of text.

I also feel the need to mention this book has some bigoted content, as implied in my content warnings. The misogyny in the story is satirical; it’s spouted by the biggest tool in the book, Lord Henry, whose whole shtick is being paradoxical. You just need basic critical thought to figure that out. However, some things don’t have that excuse. A minor character in the first half is an obvious anti-Semitic caricature. There’s also some pretty racist content, particularly when Wilde describes Gray’s musical instrument collection. While these are small parts of the book, it’d be disingenuous not to acknowledge them.

All that being said, there were many aspects of the book I enjoyed, particularly in the second half. Wilde does a great job characterizing terrible people who fully believe what they say. Lord Henry is an obvious example, and Dorian follows his lead as the story progresses. One of my favorite bits was after Sibyl’s suicide (which Dorian instigated by being a piece of shit). Dorian is initially shocked, but as he and Lord Henry discuss it, they come to the conclusion that her suicide was a good thing because it had thematic merit. It’s just such a brazen, horrible way to alleviate one’s guilt.

Dorian also goes to significant lengths to justify his actions. At one point, he murders Basil to keep the portrait a secret. While he briefly feels guilty about this, Dorian grows angry at the inconvenience of having killed this man, supposedly an old friend. He even separates himself from the situation, expressing that Basil died in such a horrible way. Bro, you killed him! It was you! The cognitive dissonance is just stunning.

It’s also viscerally satisfying to read about Dorian’s downfall as his awful choices catch up to him. Dorian becoming tormented by the portrait is just... *chef’s kiss*. Is it surprising? No, it’s pretty standard Gothic horror fare. But there’s something to be said about seeing a genuinely horrible man finally pay for what he’s done after getting away with it for so long. I wish real life worked that way.

There’s the picture itself, too. I know it’s The Thing most people know about this novel -- but I just think it’s a cool concept. I like the idea of someone’s likeness reflecting their true self, and the psychological effect it has on the subject. Most of the novel is fiction with realistic horror elements, but I like that there’s a touch of the supernatural thanks to Dorian’s picture. It’s an element I wouldn’t mind seeing in more works.

It's sad to read Dorian Gray with the context of what happened to Wilde. The homoeroticism in the novel is obvious, but tame compared to works today. Wilde and this book are a depressing case study in how queer people are simultaneously erased and reviled in recent history. Wilde was tortured for his homosexuality (and died from resulting health complications) over 100 years ago, yet the 1994 edition of Dorian Gray I read refers to his real homosexual relationship as a "close friendship". It's an infuriating and tragic paradox. Things have improved by inches, but we still have so far to go.

As I grow older I find I appreciate classic works more than when I was forced to read them for school. The Picture of Dorian Gray is a gripping Gothic horror story. Some aspects didn't age particularly well, but that's true for almost anything over time. If you're in the market for this kind of book, I do recommend it.

#this review is late but in my defense the nier remake came out #taylor reads #2021 reading challenge #8/10

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codevassie · 5 years ago

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Fantasy TS Fic Recs

[***Let me know if I’ve missed anything on the Content Warnings!]

[**Do Not Ask Authors for Updates!]

[*Leave these authors Comments, please and thank you!]

Put A Spell On You by LostyK

Status: Complete

Summary: Roman sighed, trying to figure out how best to explain it. “I think everyone’s in love with me.” Virgil rolled his eyes. “How do you walk around under the weight of that ego?” Everyone is acting strangely around Roman. Thank god his best friend (and crush) Virgil seems to be unaffected, because he's going to need all the help he can get to figure out why everyone is confessing their love to him.

Relationships: Prinxiety, Minor Logicality

CW: Love Spell, Nonconsensual Kiss, Toxic jealousy, Sexual References, Potentially Disturbing Imagery, Manipulation of someone under the influence of a love spell, Violence and Blood Mention, Spider Mention

My thoughts: I stumbled on this fic by accident and that may have been one of the best accidents of my life. It’s so cute and funny and the characters are right on--not to mention the urban fantasy setting. It’s the perfect setting for this plot, with the fantasy element of magic and the normalized element of a school campus. And Remus has a relatively small part, but he’s absolutely brilliant in this author’s style. Roman and Virgil’s relationship throughout the whole thing is also Very Special to me and my heart. Really really good. Please go check this one out!

Broken Wings by proxxima

Status: Incomplete, Work In Progress

Summary: Virgil, once one of the greatest thieves ever known, ended up in poverty. In order to survive, he has to accept what one would call a suicide mission: stealing an extremely valuable jewel from a mysterious nobleman. However, his wings fail him and Virgil finds himself alone and injured in a foreign kingdom, not sure who he can trust.

Relationships: Prinxiety, Picani/ Sleep(Remy), past logince, intrulogical

CW: Swearing, Unsympathetic Remus, Unsympathetic Deceit, Blood, Alcohol, Death and Murder Mention, Kidnapping, Manipulation, Blood and Violence, Anxiety, Injury, Implied Sexual Content, Innuendo, Past Abuse, Mental Breakdown, Character Death, Implied/ Referenced Torture, Threats, Mourning, Abuse, Abusive Friendship

My thoughts: This! Fic! Y’all!! I’ve been keeping up with it for a while now and every week is like a brand new adventure. There’s always so much going on here and so many things that I can’t wait to figure out. The author, An, is so good at revealing little by little so we’re always on our toes. They also make the cutest Prinxiety, the most suspenseful situations, and the best freaking characterizations for all of them. I would die for all of the characters. It’s pretty intense right now because there’s only a few updates left and everything is going down. Go check this out in its final stretch and I’m sure you’ll love every bit!

Of Forests and Kings by Avery_Kedavra

Status: Incomplete, Work In Progress

Summary: Roman loves to save the day, but when he ventures through the forest to topple the reign of the evil king, he gets a lot more than he bargained for--a tired king, a deadly forest, and a terrified crown prince. Logan would have been perfectly happy letting Roman run off on his own, but Patton insists they go rescue him. With the ever-annoying Daniel, they chase him through the forest, hoping to reach him before trouble does. Trouble, however, waits for no one.

Relationships: Prinxiety, Logicality

CW: Death, Fantasy Violence, Weapons, Arguing

My thoughts: Classic fantasy in a not-so-classic way. Roman is not the prince here, nor is he a dashing hero or knight. He is quite the character though, and he is so entertaining to read. His and Virgil’s banter is to die for. And, on the other end, Logan, Patton, and Daniel(Deceit)’s journey is just as entertaining. I honestly can’t get enough of Daniel--his characterization is quite on point. It’s surprising and interesting and fun and I can’t wait to see where the heck it’s going!

My Dreams Made Music In the Night by coconutcluster

Status: Complete

Summary: Virgil never believed in shooting stars - not really, anyway - but when one crosses the sky one night, he makes a wish (if you can even call it that) on impulse, and soon finds himself waiting for it again, night after night. (Or, rather, waiting for the golden figure in his dreams that always follows.)

Relationships: Prinxiety

CW: Mention of Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Anxiety

My thoughts: This fic... magical, dreamy, ethereal, beautiful. It has dreams and stars and dancing and a setting that takes you away from the real world. It’s just very peaceful--quietly happy--a small reprieve from the trudge of daily life that pushes it far away, makes you forget for a while. I remember I was on the bus when I read this, on a morning after a long car ride and little sleep and too little schoolwork done and too many hours at a job that I gave too much to. It gave me peace that morning, so it’s stuck close to me. I just love this fic a lot.

Of Trying and Towers by parsnipit

Status: Complete

Summary: “Then there’s Princey. He always wants to go haring off after these impossible, grandiose dreams.” “Like breaking the Queen’s Stone, stealing all of her power, and freeing the entire kingdom from a rule that’s lasted well over five centuries?” “Yeah,” Anxiety said. “Like that.” After (grudgingly) attempting to overthrow the monarch of his country, Anxiety finds himself the sole survivor of a curse that takes Thomas and the other sides away from him. To make matters worse, he’s trapped in a tower with his own self-loathing and cowardice, and he finds himself guarded by an unusually polite dragon. What’s a guy supposed to do? Break out of the tower, finish overthrowing the monarchy, and save Thomas and the other sides. Obviously. (Ugh. He really doesn’t feel good about this.)

Relationships: Prinxiety

CW: Anxiety and Panic Attacks, Hunting, Blood and Violence, Minor Medical Procedures, Injury, Death, Mild Gore, Self-Loathing, Brief Self-Harm, Allusions to NSFW, Ableist Language, Mentions of Torture, Execution, Drowning, Murder

My thoughts: And, of course, I couldn’t do a fantasy list without this one! This was one of the first fics I ever read for this fandom, which probably explains my taste in fics for this fandom (aka addicted to prinxiety. i’m sorry. one day i’ll rec more than prinxiety and lamp). I really like this because they’re all still aspects of Thomas’ personality, but it’s in a completely new setting--so canon with a twist. I thought it was a pretty great intro to fics in the fandom too because it considers all four core sides and it’s wonderfully written. I really want to reread it now, actually. It’s been a while. If you’re new or old to the fandom, I’m sure this will be one you enjoy.

#fic recs #sanders sides #ts #prinxiety #friday fic recs #catch me out here passionately supporting my friends!!!#fantasy will never get old y'all #ya gotta love magic and kingdoms and dragons #enjoy these awesome fics y'all #and hey let me know if you do #i'd love to hear!#next week: hetalia recs #i have a theme picked out but i might change it so i'll just leave it at that

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prider-parker-imaginations · 6 years ago

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ℕ𝕠 𝔼𝕤𝕔𝕒𝕡𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝔾𝕙𝕠𝕤𝕥𝕤

Title: No Escaping the Ghosts

Characters: Quentin Beck + Male!Stark!Reader (also a little bit of Peter Parker x Male!Stark!Reader, which can be read as platonic or romantic)

Warnings: language, grief, violence, angst, general nightmarishness, bastard man being a bastard man, implied PTSD, past trauma, manipulation, basically psychological torture, Endgame spoilers, Far From Home spoilers

Prompt: Midnight Thoughts by Set It Off (also elements of Everybody Wants to Rule the World by Lorde if you squint)

Word Count: 2.2k

A/N: Another submission for @locke-writes Intro to 2020 Challenge and sequel to ℍ𝕠𝕝𝕕 𝕋𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥, 𝕊𝕨𝕖𝕖𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕒𝕣𝕥

An extended illusion would never have worked on Peter. The kid’s instincts were too sharp. The best Beck could have hoped for with Peter was keeping him under long enough to shake him up. Accomplish what needed to get done quickly before he posed too big of a threat. But you? With you, Beck could savour the unravelling. He could take his time breaking you apart piece by piece for what your father had done to him. And then, when he was finished, he could kill you.

A slow grin curled Quentin’s lips as he strode over to the chair you were chained to. “You know, I wasn’t planning on doing this to you at first. I was going to give you a clean death or at least something close to one. The world would have wept for your loss, or at least for mine when I was forced to kill you. I would have held you in my arms as you died and sworn revenge on the people who’d turned you into a monster, vowed to keep going in honour of you and your father, yadda yadda yadda, the tragic hero. Peter would be heartbroken, but that would be fine, I’d be there for him to lean on. He’s a good kid, though I don’t have to tell you that, do I?” The man’s expression darkened, “Too bad he got too nosy. Now I’m going to have to kill both of you.”

The chains holding your wrists behind your back rattled as you yanked against them. A snarl curled your lips, “If you touch him-”

“You know, as much as your tough-guy act might impress Fury, I’m really not that intimidated by a kid with daddy issues.”

“You should be.” Heat rushed down your arms, the metal turning to putty against your flesh. You grabbed hold of the solid end and whipped it over your head towards Beck, red-hot sparks flying from the links. But instead of hitting him, searing hot metal passed right through him and crashed against the concrete with a clang. Beck smirked and disappeared, the world going dark around you. You whipped around, heart pounding.

“Did you really think it would be that easy?” his voice echoed from all around you. “And here I was hoping you’d be civilized about the whole thing. Guess you can’t expect much from a Stark, can you?”

“Show yourself, Beck!” you shouted, still turning in the dark as you struggled to orient yourself. Even the chair you had been bound to had disappeared, the half-molten chain gone from your hands like nothing more than smoke.

He materialized out of the black, EDITH perched on his nose, “Miss me already?” Before you could even take one step in his direction, he was gone again, appearing this time a few feet to your right.

“Those don’t belong to you,” you snapped, rage boiling in your chest as he continued to shift from one place to another, always just out of your reach.

“Last I checked, they don’t belong to you either. Does that hurt? Knowing your dad cared more about some kid he scraped out of Queens than he did his actual son? Then again, he did scrape you out of the gutter too, didn’t he?”

“You don’t get to talk about my dad!” This time when you lunged for the illusion, your world shifted dizzyingly. You stumbled, breath catching in your throat as you recognized your new surroundings.

“Fine. Then let’s talk about you.”

You could already feel your hands starting to shake, your body betraying you as you faced the room plucked from your nightmares and midnight thoughts. This was classified. How did he know this room? And if he knew this, how much more did he know? The fire in your veins had turned to ice in an instant.

Beck’s voice seemed to emanate from the very concrete that made up the small cell, “You remember this place, don’t you?”

The anger in your words was undermined by the tremour beneath them. “Fuck you.”

“What’s it like for a little boy to get turned into a monster?”

“Shut up.” Your fists were clenched so hard it hurt, smoke curling up from between your fingers.

“Which came first, rewriting your brain or your DNA?” His voice was insidious, taunting you from every direction.

“Shut up!” You threw your arms out at the concrete walls, heat pouring from your palms. The last time you’d been in this cell, you’d been a frightened kid surrounded by monsters. You weren’t that boy anymore. You didn’t have to be afraid anymore. But even as the concrete turned molten and you pushed your way through, your world shifted again and you were strapped down, machinery hovering around your head.

“They turned you into a weapon. And that’s all you’ll ever be. You were Hydra’s attack dog and now you’re Fury’s. Some things never change.”

You thrashed against the restraints as the paddles of the machine lowered towards your skull, every muscle tensing in panic. “This isn’t real,” you spat, half trying to convince yourself as ghosts from your past tried to drag you somewhere you wouldn’t be able to escape. They had tried to make you forget, but your body remembered this place and it was afraid.

“How do you know? You’ve had so many people walking around inside your head, how do you know anything anymore? For all you know, you’re still some sad little kid hitting his head against a wall in a room where the light won’t find you. For all you know, you never left. No one knows where you are and no one’s coming to save you. You’re alone, and you’ll always be alone.”

“You’re lying.”

“Do you even remember your life before they stole it from you? Do you even remember your own mother? Or how he killed her?”

Your rage overwhelmed your fear. You jerked against your restraints, the metal biting into your wrists and ankles, unable to move your head. “Shut up!” you screamed. You could feel the heat pooling in your hands but the cuffs held fast, pinning you in place, keeping you helpless, keeping you a little boy stuck in a memory you wanted nothing more than to forget.

“You had to know. It was all in the files. Or did you know and just pretend it wasn’t true? Were you there when he killed her? Did she scream? Do you even remember the sound of her voice?”

“Shut the fuck up!”

His words burrowed into your ears like worms, relentless and poisonous. “Did you think he rescued you because he cared about you? Or did he do it because of his guilt? Because he was the one who condemned you to becoming a human weapon. Because he was the one that destroyed any chance you ever had at a normal life. Because he murdered your grandparents just like he murdered your mom. If he really cared about you, where is he now? Why isn’t he saving you this time?”

You ground your teeth in frustration, trying to calm the shaking in your hands. “I’m gonna kill you.”

“Killing’s what you’re good at, isn’t it?” Reality shifted again so you were on your knees in the dark, a single gravestone looming before you. Your breath caught in your throat. “Too bad it didn’t help Tony though, did it? Maybe if you’d been good enough, he’d still be alive.”

The heat turned back to ice, frost crackling across your fingertips. The shaking was back, your heart pounding against your chest as you scrambled away from the name carved into the stone.

“Then again, you’ve never been good enough, have you? Never smart enough, never strong enough. Your own father didn’t even want you to be part of his legacy. You’re a menace to everything he ever created. Why would he ever want you? You’re a danger to everyone you’ve ever cared about. You know it, and Tony knew it. Maybe if you’d died instead of him, your life would finally be worth something.”

You lifted your hands to cover your ears, squeezing your eyes shut, but his voice just kept coming, always taunting, a constant noise in your head mirroring the pulse in your veins. Tears froze on your cheeks beneath your fingers.

Beck crouched over you, one hand coming to rest on the back of your head. The contact would have been almost fatherly if you weren’t stuck in a nightmare of his own design. Then his grip tightened, wrenching your head back, forcing you to look at him. “You’re just a broken little kid who thinks he can fill his daddy’s shoes. But the only thing you inherited from him was his arrogance. But how does it feel? Knowing you’re always just a few words away from being turned into a machine? Knowing anyone with the right words could trap you inside your own mind and use you to destroy everything you love? Knowing you’re just a tool someone created in a lab?”

The sound that tore from your throat was half a scream and half a sob as you threw yourself at Beck. Your hands came up to his face, smoke and heat pouring from your palms. You wanted to hurt him. You wanted to make him suffer. But when he cried out in pain, it wasn’t Beck anymore. You jerked back, bile rising in your throat as you saw Peter’s face marred by burns in the shape of your hands where his suit had melted away.

But then another Peter was next to you, grabbing your arm, “Come on, we’ve gotta go!”

Another Peter grabbed your other arm, “He’s not real, don’t listen to him!”

A mob of Peters descended on you out of the darkness, pulling at you, begging you to listen to them, blocking out any light with red and blue and grasping hands. You struggled to break free, panic filling your lungs. It was too much. You shut your eyes and a shout tore from your mouth. Heat exploded out from your body and the pressure disappeared. When you opened your eyes, a single Peter stood before you in an empty warehouse, his suit torn and smoking in places. Half-melted chunks of drone lay scattered across the concrete.

Peter said your name and moved towards you but you held out your hands, heat still pulsing through your palms even as your own clothes smoldered. He stopped, pulling off his mask, “It’s okay, it’s me.”

You shook your head, sweat and tears steaming faintly as they leaked down your cheeks. Your voice shook. “You can’t trick me.”

Peter took another step closer, his expression turning pleading, “Please, let me help you. You’re safe, I swear.”

“You’re not real.”

“Beck’s gone, you broke the illusion,” Peter insisted, gesturing with one arm towards the shattered drones.

Still you didn’t lower your hands, “No, tell me something only Peter would know!” Inside, your mind was screaming. Not him. Please not him. Please don’t make me hurt him again. Your arms shook. Were you nervous or were you insane?

He blinked, face going blank for a moment, “Y-your dad left you a message. On EDITH. He-he wanted you to take care of Morgan.”

Slowly, your hands fell to your sides as your legs folded beneath you. Peter caught you before you hit the floor, “Hey, hey, it’s okay, you’re okay,” he soothed, “Beck’s gone. You’re safe.”

A shudder passed through your body as the heat leached out of you. “He’s in my head, Pete. He knows everything. I can’t shut him out.”

Peter’s hands cupped your face, forcing you to look at him. Blood smeared under his nose and across his cheek and his eyes were red and wet. “He can’t hurt you anymore. We’ll figure this out.”

You shook your head, swallowing hard, the tears coming faster even as he tried to brush them away. “He lied to us, Pete. He lied about everything.”

“I know, I know, we’ll figure it out, we’ll-”

Peter’s words were cut off but the crack of a gunshot. Your eyes widened as the boy slumped against you, blood already spilling out onto your hands. “No, no, no, Peter, please, no,” the words spilled out in a panic as you struggled to hold him upright. His head lolled, his eyes fixing on your face as blood dribbled past his lips. The look of shock in his eyes, of confusion and pain was enough to shatter your heart a thousand times over. Your voice cracked, “Stay with me, please, Peter, no-”

Your name fell from his lips, a quiet gasp among the blood and tears. He gripped fistfuls of your smoldering shirt, pulling you down to your knees.

You could see Beck standing just past him, clipping the gun back to his belt. “I’m sorry. He forced my hand.”

Your pulse was a roar in your ears. Cold radiated from your body in waves as Peter stilled in your arms. The blood that pooled beneath him crackled faintly as a web of frost spread around you, covering the scorch marks from before. Your whole body shook as you stood, face twisting. Your breath clouded as it fell from lips trembling with rage. “I’m gonna enjoy killing you.”

A slow smirk stole across Beck’s face. “That’s the spirit.” Then he snapped his fingers and the world turned black.

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haunting-kind-of-high · 7 years ago

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Mercy's Masterlist

Finally, I have decided to make a masterlist for my fics. Oof.

I added in only the most important tags, because otherwise some of my tags would deserve a masterlist themselves.

You can also find me on AO3 here

One shots

Never Again

Roman intends to surprise his boyfriend, but when he arrives in his appartment, he is met with an unpleasant surprise.

Warnings for suicide and mcd, among others

Kindergarten Boyfriend

Songfic on Kindergarten Boyfriend from Heathers. Past Prinxiety.

Warnings for suicide and mcd, among others

Where Could Creativity Get You?

Based on the question: what would happen to Roman if school tried to suppress Thomas' creativity?

Warnings for mcd

Shine A Light

After Fitting In, Logan is starting to doubt his importance to Thomas.

Warnings for implied suicide/mcd

Me Inside Of Me

Roman isn't feeling his best lately

Warnings for referenced/implied suicide/mcd

The Light To My Anxiety

Virgil is having a bad day and Roman tries his best to be a good boyfriend. Prinxiety.

Nameless Fic

Virgil falls asleep on the couch in the commons. Platonic LAMP

Splashes Of Colour

LAMP soulmate AU. It's pp cute.

Nameless Fic 2

Some Royality fluff. It's cute as well.

So Long And Goodnight

This is based on Light Behind Your Eyes from MCR

Warnings for suicide, mcd, multiple causes of death (car crash, disease and suicide), drowning

Let Me Make You Feel Better

Roman drags Virgil to a party. It is not ideal. Prinxiety

Warnings for people drinking/being drunk, panic attack

The Angst Corner

Virgil finds himself in one room with Antisepticeye and Darkiplier. What follows next can't be good.

Warnings for anxiety and a panic attack

A Small Cat-astrophe

Joan and Talyn notice Thomas has been acting strangely for a few weeks and they try to figure out why

Mirror On The Wall

After Roman has been absent for a couple of days, Patton decides to visit his room to investigate the situation.

Warnings for self-loathing, angst

Forgotten

Virgil shares something about himself

Warnings for… angst

Christmas Baking

Secret Santa fic. Patton is stressed and Logan helps out.

Last Christmas

Virgil's Christmas in 2016.

Broken Fantasy

Two-parter. Roman is gone and the others get worried.

The Day We Met

After more than a year of talking, Virgil thinks of the best way to surprise his best online friend, Patton. Platonic Moxiety.

Forever Yours

Roman writes a letter to his boyfriend. Royality.

Warnings for implied suicide

I Wish I Could

Side Fic Comptetion. For two years, Roman and Virgil have been in a relationship together and they couldn’t be happier together. But one day, when Roman lashes out, things go worse than either of them could have imagined

Warnings for abuse, manipulation, suicide/mcd and Deceit

SMNTH

This is the story of how Deceit's odd hobby can ruin friendships

Warnings for Deceit and snek

Change My Mind

Superhero AU. Power couple Virgil and Patton wake up in an unfamiliar room, only to hear that their enemy has a... request for them

Warnings for Deceit, a bit of torture, implied mcd, brainwashing

Of Hugs And Gay Puns

Patton really wants to hug Virgil, but with his friend's touch-aversity, this isn't always that easy. But then, he comes up with a plan. Platonic Moxiety

Warnings for panic attack

I've Always Aimed To Protect You

When the sides go on a trip into the dreamscape, things turned out worse than they had imagined

Warnings for mcd

The Dark Side

Virgil has lived with the dark sides for as long as he can remember. Only when he sees Patton, he realises how much he wants to get out.

Warnings for implications of abuse

Multichapters

Of Shadows And Light - Series

What Lies Beyond The Shadows

Fantasy AU. Prince Roman receives a message about a notorious sorcerer showing up near the palace and he is determined to investigate.

Warnings for anxiety, character death, mild gore

The Shadows In Our Mind

When Roman unexpectedly returns from the Cursed Woods after his fight with the Shadow Sorcerer, things seem to be going back to the way they used to be. However, something seems off...

Warnings for anxiety, character death, mild gore

Into The Shadows

The Shadow Sorcerer is so close to completing his plan. Just a few steps.

Warnings for character death, forced suicide

Welcome To My World Of Fun - Series

Welcome To My World Of Fun

Once upon a time, in a faraway land, there was a king. The king wasn't particularly loved by his people and that is why a rebellious organisation arose. However, the king found out and he would do anything in his power to track down this organisation and destroy them.

MAJOR warnings for torture, gore, character death. Rated Mature on AO3

The King Is Dead

Roman has been in control for long enough. Logan has had enough. This needs to end. Wtmwof AU

Warnings for character death, bit of blood

The One who Corrupted Thomas Sanders

It started as a routine trip to the dreamscape, but Roman quickly discovered something that would change everything.

Fake Reality

On the outside, there’s nothing wrong with Roman. But even though he acts like his usual self, the prince is struggling with more problems than he can handle. He needs a way out.

Could Be Chiller

After having heard about a "Squip", a pill that's supposed to make him cooler, Thomas decides to try it out. What could go wrong, right?

Let's Play A Game

What should have been a regular meeting between Thomas Sanders and Sean McLoughlin quickly turns into a nightmare when the Sides wake up in a dark room. They have to face many fears and challenges in order to get out and save Thomas.

You Rule With Lies And Deceit

Everyone has a past they are ashamed of. Whether it is just one thing they did, or who they used to be as a person. And Virgil is no exception to the rule. He keeps trying to forget about his past, and just when he thinks he’s grown on him enough to forget, it comes back to haunt him.

One Step Closer

In the depths of the ocean, hidden from all human eyes, live the merpeople. Underneath the surface, safe from prying eyes of men. That’s the way it’s always been. But one little merman can only think of the world above the surface, and a human prince in particular grasped his attention. He’d give up everything to be a human, to be with the prince. Even his voice.

Warnings for near drowning, kidnapping (I think), character death (but not explicit)

State Of Mind

“Political language is designed to make lies sound truthful, to make murder respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind.”

- George Orwell

Dystopia. Romantic Prinxiety, platonic Moxiety. My personal fave.

The fic deals with depression, anxiety, suicide. References character death.

Another Brick In The Wall

Virgil is sure he is a dark side. He’s not a part of the lighter sides, that is for sure. He doesn’t help Thomas like they do, he doesn’t have a purpose like they do. He can’t be one of them.

But at the same time, he doesn’t feel like he belongs with the other, darker sides either. They’re cruel and unpredictable, Virge being their favourite target. It feels wrong, but Virgil can’t quite explain why. It doesn’t matter anyways, because even if he knew, there’s no way he could get away.

(First few chapters set pre-YouTube)

The Dad Quartet

Polyam Sanders fic about them trying to raise a child. As of now, there's just the prologue

#masterlists #mercy's masterlist

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kv-central · 7 years ago

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Black Ridge Character Sketch

If anyone was interested in the characters. Warnings for rape mention, torture, violence, gore mention, abuse, mental health

Ariesaela/Leikela/Emerald. 15/16-128/128-526. Half dae, half water elemental. Vangra/Network Territory/Black Ridge.

Emerald/Ariesaela is the main character of Black Ridge. She is later seen as a secondary character in The Price of Series. She is shy, untrusting and very sassy when we first meet her. Over the years she changes and by the time she is in Network Territory, she had already become a new person, Leikela.

Leikela is a woman scorn by the harsh realities of the world. Having been awaken as an Elemental, she was banished from her home county where they had ripped one of her wings off. She was taken in by a nice family of Kitsune, being one of the rarer races. She ends up watching as the Network comes and slaughters them, later referred to as the “Great Purge”. Only able to save but one from her adopted family, she ends up meeting a person, Shui, who tells her about the rebellion. She has short hair when introduced, slowly growing it out and shaving half her head as symbol when she joins the rebellion.

Emerald is really born when she faces the man who had killed her adopted family and kills him. It happens in two days, as she drags out his death and torture and where she learns one of most defying power. From here she works herself up to the top, always keeping Shui safe by keeping him in her personal squad. It is here that she meets Nadia, Xian and Lin. As she learns more about the leader of the rebellion and his true plans, she starts a coup to take him out when they take over the Territory. Her story ends when she ends up beheading the leader of the rebellion, Rai, while he is giving his speech after winning the Territory.

This is the birth of the War Lord Emerald and her Territory, Black Ridge.

Leonardo. 40/546. Tengu. Neong/Ji Cheng, capital city of Division Cove.

Leo has a pretty young look to him when he is first introduced in Black Ridge. He is a bit of an ass, knowing much more than he lets on. He is one of the first to talk to Ariesaela, helping her despite knowing the path she is going down.

When he is introduced in the Price of series, he is easy going and polite. He cares deeply of Adam, often doing anything to try and protect him, knowing his efforts are in vain. He doesn’t like Seya, often treating him like the bane of his existence. He is the one who ends up taking them to Grey Cove, later renamed the Green Havens. He introduces them to Alice, Sam, Cole and Taylor.

They meet Emerald and she recognizes him but doesn’t mention it until the night before they leave, and takes him aside to talk. Seya and Sam overhear. Leo doesn’t really play a big role until both his and Adam’s past in revealed. After that, he and Seya get along a bit better.

Leo ends up meeting Lara and falls in love. They are still together endgame.

Alice. 500’s/1200’s. Earth Elemental. Leader of Outlander Territory, Grey Cove/Green Havens.

Alice is quiet at first, though she does make friends fast. She pushes them away, in fear of her PTSD and survivors guilt. She makes friends with Ariesaela quickly and continues they’re close friendship until endgame.

She is very nice and caring, but often doesn’t talk for long periods of time due to her nature. She does not enjoy being a leader, as she states many time to people close to her. She only meets with Seya because Emerald had forewarned her. She is seen as a very mysterious woman in The Price of series and also terrifying in power.

Sam Eder. 1500’s. Werewolf. ???/Grey Cove/Green Havens

Sam is very old, but also has very deep and old scars. She is a strong warrior and has only gotten better over the years. She works best in close combat, but also has great healing abilities. She is an empathetic person due to her being a werewolf and can influence emotions in close contact. It is later revealed that she is trans and was in line to be the next Lord of werewolves.

Cole Eder. 1500’s. Ghoul. ???/Grey Cove/Green Havens

Cole and Sam have been together for a long time, and their bond is stronger than anything else in the world. He is powerful, being the Crown Prince of Ghoul Royalty. He has the markings of royalty under both his eyes, tattoos that are non removable since the moment he was born. He has a great power over shadows, able to manipulate them during the day, something only very strong elementals can do.

Xian. 408. Fox(Sprite/Fae). Network Territory/Grey Cove/Black Ridge

She was raised by her family, only to have them be brutally murdered in front of her eyes at age 10. She watched as Emerald was beaten, raped and tortured for a few days by Network soldiers. When Shui helped them, she had wanted to join the rebellion but to her terror, they had sent her away.

While living with Sam and Cole, she asks them to train her. She doesn’t explain why, instead Sam knows because of her empathic abilities. Later she is talking to Sam about what had happened and why she trains so hard, for Emerald. Alice overhears, which is why she is allowed to leave when Black Ridge is formed.

Xian stays beside Emerald as her personal assassin and is slightly terrified by how much Emerald had changed. She still loves her though, despite Emerald having little to no emotions left.

Shui. 635. Dodomeki(Mowai/Daemon). Network Territory/Black Ridge

Shui is the one who finds Emerald after the slaughter of her family. He takes her and Xian in, offering shelter free of charge. He is the one ends up telling Emerald what is going on and that he is part of the rebellion. He begrudgingly lets Emerald join him while they send Xian to Alice. While they are part of the rebellion, Shui is the one who helps Emerald work her way to the top, behind her and her crazy plans.

After she takes over with the coup, they have a falling out as Shui is appalled at her way of running the War Territory. He only stays as her Captain of the Guard because Emerald offers a secret deal. He is co-War Lord of Black Ridge, while she is the face and tyrant of it. He hates her decisions but also loves her as a family member, hence why he stays with her for so long.

He ends up taking over Black Ridge endgame.

Nadia. 460.Gwisin(Poltergeist/Fae hybrid) Network Territory/Black Ridge

Nadia is the first one to join Emerald’s coup. She is a strong war general already, being one of the members of Rai’s personal squad. She has no problem following Emerald, especially seeing how passionate Emerald was about exploiting Rai at the coup.

She is not weak willed at all but has been manipulated by Emerald and has sworn loyalty to her. She is one of the most feared generals in Emerald’s guard, do to her being a hybrid. She doesn’t break out of everything until endgame, when Emerald’s magic is dissipated.

Lin/Dooterine. ????. Rusalka(???) ??/??/??/??/??/??/??/??/??/Black Ridge

Not much is known about Lin, as she comments how she is older than most. She is a shape shifter but due to a secret deal she had, her form has been stuck as a purple wolverine. She does not mind, serving as a sky and intelligence gatherer for Emerald. She is also her personal trusted seer.

Rai. 864. Elf(Fae). Shen Yun/Network Territory/Black Ridge

Rai is the leader of one of the many rebellion factions working to take the land back from the Network. He grew up in Shen Yun, a War Territory where he was bought as a personal servant. He has a warped view, since the War Lord had treated him like a son but he had always seen him as horrible. He absolutely hates Daemons, wishing to purge all in the Network Territory after the rebellion takes over.

He tells this to Emerald one night while they are on a mission, believing that she will understand. When she opposes his idea, due to the fact that many in their army are daemons and so is she, he beats her. He believes he has a hold on her to submit to him, as she is terrified of him.

It is heavily implied that he has raped, beat and tortured her while she was his right hand man.

When they win, he is giving a speech and is beheaded by Emerald. She whispers something to him beforehand, which is never revealed.

#Black Ridge #Emerald #ocs

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jewell-chan · 8 years ago

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Top 16 Shuichi Saihara ships

Another Amino copy/paste and this probably be extremely controversial, but let’s give it a go posting it. This is my Top 16 Saihara ships, including crossover ships as an entry. And yes, this is my quick opinion and I know there will be controversial choices but I do explain my points and I am aware which choices are controversial and why. Major spoilers under the cut:

Art source: https://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=62325101

Hiyo, and finally, I’ll be actually listening to my poll results. And here, I’ll be going back to discussing two things that set this fandom on fire: Shipping and opinions. Yes, I know, the horror.

If you hadn’t guessed from the title, this will be ranking the ship of Shuichi Saihara, the Super High School Level Detective. It’s 16 because Saihara is pretty much shipped with the entire cast and more.

We’ll have NDRV3 spoilers from here on out since Saihara is a major character in the game so plot and character details will be discussed. Also, I’m unsure but I’ll add the warning anyway: This list may contain the mentions of adult themes and a bit of foul language. Since the title is so straightforward, I don’t really need to explain much with this OP so let’s begin.

16.Saiharu

Let’s start with one of my least favorite ships in the series. Also known as Harusai and Saikawa, Saiharu is a really poor ship in my opinion. Pandora hearts spoilers but, for those who read it, do you remember when Sharon and Reim randomly got married at the end for no reason other than both of them being Break’s friends? That’s how this ship feels to me. Except worse.

First off, Saihara and Maki’s personalities are way too serious so despite the many interactions they have, specifically in Chapter 3, they never find any particular dynamic making their chemistry seem weak as well and almost non-existent. The only, and I do mean the only, good exchange between the two is in Chapter 3 when Maki gets mad at Saihara for the implication she’s overweight and claiming the only woman Saihara has ever touched was his mother.

So that alone makes me feel neutral, leaning towards dislike, on the ship. Their chemistry being bland as fuck. However, that’s not what seals the deal. What does that for me is in Chapter 5, Maki tells Saihara and the others that she will not go into the hanger and attack Ouma and the group decide to believe her. What does she do? Go into the hanger and attack Ouma. When the group finds out about this, they have no reaction, Saihara included. When Maki thinks she’s the killer, she tries to sacrifice everyone, Saihara included, just to make sure Ouma’s dead. She put her personal bias against Ouma over the lives of Yumeno, Kiibo and Saihara who she knew were innocent.

Normally, I’d think this would be interesting. Relationships with conflict are actually well done. However, they don’t do anything with this. They do show concern for Maki’s attempt to kill everybody but it’s glossed over too quickly to notice. After the trial, Maki talks to Saihara about Kaito and it’s supposed to be a heartfelt scene between the two but at best, it feels plastic. At worst, it feels manipulative. I can’t believe this conversation after she tried to get him and the others killed and it’s not actually brought up past this point.

My final reason is why I hate this ship is because it feels the only appeal it has is because Kaito is dead so why don’t his two best friends hook up? I hated it when Pandora hearts did it in canon(keep in mind that Pandora Hearts is my favorite series of all time) and I hate the idea of it here. Thankfully, Japan agrees with me and dislikes the ship strongly with very few fans so making them canon wouldn’t help sales very much.

15.Saiguuji

Thankfully, Saiharu is the only Saihara ship I dislike. Let’s get to this weird ship. It’s fairly popular on twitter for some odd reason and while it’s fanbase is small outside of that, it’s few fans are incredibly vocal. I am fairly neutral on this ship.

This one is really personal taste, however. I just find it weird. I understand why it’s shipped but the fanbase’s treatment of it makes it sound like a tragic and canon love story gone wrong.

Like, if you want my perception of this ship, try looking at Korekiyo’s love hotel. That is how I see this pairing. So looking at the fanbase compared to things like that, I just… Ehh?

However, the incredibly bizarre fanbase aside, I actually do enjoy the dynamic between these two in Korekiyo’s FTEs. This is where I find the major appeal of the ship and definitely my favorite part of it. Korekiyo talking about anthropology and folklore tales to Saihara who’s patiently listening is actually very nice. I can see where people are coming from when they ship this. Even Korekiyo says he finds Saihara worthy for his sister.

Another thing to bring up why I can’t really grow to like this ship is because of their main story. Not only does Saihara expose Korekiyo as the killer, Korekiyo being rather pissed off about it, but Saihara finds Korekiyo absolutely disgusting in terms of his motive, even to the point of being relieved he dies. What also doesn’t help is he says “I will never understand you…” if you check his door after his demise which is probably one of the harsher comments protagonists give out we’ve had so far. Understandably so. So yeah, it’s not exactly a healthy ship and I personally have no care for it but eh, I see the appeal.

14.Saimugi

Another ship I am neutral on but can see the appeal for. This is really the ideal ship for those who like psychologically abusive villain X protagonist ships. I have seen some fans for it who pretty much enjoy it for the reasons I would assume they would.

Mugi seems like everyone’s friend for most of the game, Saihara included, and the two also have some optional scenes together. There’s also that scene when exploring for lab where she talks to Saihara more about her life outside of cosplaying.

However, in the final chapter of the game, you find out their friendship was a lie and Mugi was just a role for her to play inside of the script. While they weren’t close or anything, you could still feel they were friends. So not only is it heartbreaking for Saihara, but the final trial nails in Saihara’s suffering all caused by her. Having her be Amami’s true murderer, exposing his whole life being a lie, showing his audition tape of who he once was and all gloating about it as Saihara falls to a despairing state. It’s quite hard to watch and definitely impactful.

There’s also her Salmon mode ending(I stopped calling it prison mode since the localization says it this way) where she appoints Saihara into working with her in the cosplay business only for her true self to leak out implying she’s going to do worse things to him than what he expects she will. So with things like that, I can see the appeal of this ship. Although, it isn’t to my taste exactly.

13.Sairumi

Not a very popular ship but I can see the appeal. Although, outside of the goth aesthetic which I like, I am pretty much neutral on this ship. I do admit that Kirumi’s love hotel is my favorite and I actually do like her interactions with Saihara throughout the game. They’re both surface level with each other and get along swimmingly.

However, what lowers this ship for me is Kirumi’s pure salty and petty hatred for him in the second trial. I mean, he does have a nice line towards him after the trial to imply she doesn’t hate him but she was so furious he got her found out as the killer that she’s the only culprit who voted for Saihara out of pure spite.

12.Saihamatsu

Ah yes, the most popular ship in the fandom is only number 12. I’ve made a post going into detail on how I feel about this ship but I guess I’ll briefly repeat myself here. I have neutral feelings towards this ship. There are things I like about it, things that irk me about it and things that make me not care for it.

I do admit that it’s very cute and tragic. While I have my issues with Chapter 1, I actually really like how Kaede’s trial is done and thought her slow manipulation to exposing Saihara was amazing.

I also like certain moments between them in Chapter 1 like when Kaede asks Saihara if he’s looking up her skirt and he apologises, but unlike other anime girls where she’d get all pissy at him, Kaede took it rather maturely and didn’t mind. Another moment is in the investigation where Kaede finds a porno magazine, Saihara wonders why it shocked her so much and she fails to persuade him not to look with her which results in the two incredibly embarrassed. “It’s just Moobies- I mean movies!” got a laugh out of me.

However, my issues with this ship is the same issue I have with the anime Clannad. It’s pretty much “Look at this thing, isn’t it adorable? Oh fuck, now it’s dead. Feel sad” and then you have to angst over how the OTP was destroyed for the rest of the game because the game told you to. They don’t exactly expand on their relationship outside of them being cute and that’s fine, I like simple ships like Momoharu, but this one feels so plastic and forced in a lot of areas. Like when they’re investigating Amami’s corpse, she claims her heart skipped a beat when Saihara touched his corpse. I know it’s because she thinks she’s the killer but blind players are just gonna turn their head questioning why Kaede finds Saihara looking at a dead body hot.

And then there’s Chapter 6 where their relationship takes over and overshadows Mugi’s character a lot which genuinely pisses me off since we don’t get to see much of her true self. Instead of Saihara holding a grudge against Mugi for making everyone suffer throughout the killing game, they have him hold a grudge JUST because she was Amami’s true killer making Kaede falsely executed. Yes, that’s an asshole move but I think writing a script for a killing game and manipulating everyone to death is far worse. It’s like if one guy murdered a man and the other set fire to a school and killed every student inside, and you get mad at the guy who murdered a man.

11.Crossover ships

I don’t usually care for crossover ships outside of talent plan interactions like Mikan X Tenko(I really love this crossover ship due to their talent plan interaction) but I think Saihara has some nice ships in this category.

Ones I enjoy include the obvious Saihara X Kirigiri and the strangely amusing Saihara X Komaeda. Unfortunately, I don’t care much for Saihara’s crackships myself so this is a quick one. Honorable mention goes to Sakura X Saihara because they’re canon(Voice actor joke.)

10.Sairuma

Now this is a strangely popular pairing. I didn’t understand it very much at first since Saihara shows a lot of distaste towards Iruma and her love hotel… Sure was something. However, once I did her FTEs, I could see why this was liked. I wouldn’t exactly consider myself a fan but it sounds nice. Her FTEs actually imply that Iruma may have developed feelings for Saihara in which he accepted said feelings, although not agreed.

Said implication carries onto the third trial in a back route, funny enough. I wasn’t expecting Saihara to be able to tolerate Iruma the way he manages in his FTEs almost to a level where she can pretty much be considered another member to the group of V3 characters fighting for the Saiharabowl alongside Kaito, Kaede, Angie, Ouma, Kiibo and Yumeno. And yes, Iruma is the only one where they actually explain why she gives you her underwear after her FTEs unlike everyone else. What a treat.

9.Amasai

I do like this ship aesthetically and it has some really well done fanart. I’m going to have to replay Amami’s FTEs in order to talk about this more but I’m saving that for my FTEs review post which should come eventually since I finally managed to get my vita copy of the NISA version of the game. That aside, I can safely say that we’re getting into the ships I officially like starting with Amasai. Not saying this is OTP or even BROTP tier but I do genuinely like this ship. The issue is I can’t exactly put my finger on why.

I could say it’s because their personalities work so well with each other, but that’d be too simple of an explanation. I’d say it’s because of Amami’s FTEs and his Salmon mode ending. For those who are unaware, Amami is the Super High School Level Adventurer and upon learning his talent in his FTEs, he tells Saihara about his adventures of travelling across the world. He also explains to Saihara his situation involving his sisters and how he views himself as a terrible brother to let them go missing.

In his salmon mode ending, Amami offers Saihara to travel the world with him and look for his missing sisters together in which Saihara accepts. It’s one of my favorite Salmon mode endings and I found this a very sweet exchange between the two. My only issue with this ship is Amami’s kind of a dick to Saihara in his FTEs whether it’s outright or subtle. I don’t know if that’s just me but he seems a lot nicer with Kaede and a lot douchier with Saihara. Maybe it’s because he’s discussing his missing sisters which is a tough topic to bring up.

8.Saigoku

This is somewhat of a rarepair but it does have it’s more obvious fans and I can see the appeal of this one. Consider it a BROTP of mine actually. Gonta kind of acts like a respectful little brother to Saihara despite obviously being the taller one of the two. Their interactions are very pleasant and Gonta’s FTEs do show this.

What seals the deal for me though is Chapter 4. Unlike the other culprits, Saihara is incredibly firm and gentle with Gonta. Not even Kaede was given that type of exposure. Saihara is aware that Gonta doesn’t even remember murdering Iruma and is taking it easy on him because of that and being as calm and reassuring as he can to him. It’s a way that helps Gonta understand what’s going on, even if he is in tears while establishing so.

I can easily see why Chapter 4 brings tears to so many people and this touch is one of the many reasons. Saihara doesn’t want to believe Gonta is the killer even to the point of suggesting a personality switched, but he can only focus on his goal as a detective to accept that every bit of evidence points to him and the pieces connect the scenario too well. Even after Chapter 4, they try to hammer in Saihara sacrificed Gonta and he definitely feels that way.

7.Saihoshi

This is another BROTP of mine. Throughout Chapter 2, Saihara seemed like the only one who wanted to actively help Ryoma. A strategy I noticed Saihara uses on Angie, Ouma and Ryoma is that he wants to reach out and changed people thinking that’s the right way to go about it. Ouma points out why that’s wrong but I’ll get to that eventually. Here, it actually is the right decision.

Ryoma and Saihara are both able to read the surroundings which results in the two of them able to see eye to eye with each other’s ideals and the two of them refusing to go along with each other’s ideals. Saihara wants to help Ryoma while Ryoma thinks it’s useless. Throughout Ryoma’s FTEs, Saihara keeps bugging Ryoma and asking him to talk about himself to Saihara in order to gain his complete friendship which Ryoma catches onto quite easily.

Ryoma’s final FTE and their last main-story encounter made this BROTP for me. I’ll go in more depth on why Ryoma’s FTEs are so great in his Free time event review but it basically shows that Saihara’s attempts to reach out to Ryoma actually do work and Ryoma becomes willing to give a chance. In the main story, before Ryoma and Saihara get separated ending in Ryoma’s unfortunate demise, Ryoma says that he’s willing to find a reason to live in order to fight alongside everybody and Saihara’s conversations with Ryoma throughout the chapter is a huge motivation to get Ryoma to do so.

6.Saimeno

Now unlike Saiharu, this is actually a GOOD survivor type ship. What a surprise.The reason I like this ship is because Yumeno and Saihara are actually fairly similar in some ways and share a lot of chemistry.

The two of them both like to suppress their emotions, although Yumeno to a higher extent, and became more attached to the people around them as the game goes on. The dojo scene with Tenko shows that the two are similar in this regard.

They also have their differences as shown in the later half of the game. Saihara is more serious and reserved while in the second half of the game once Yumeno has opened her emotions, she’s more optimistic and throws jokes around a lot more to keep everyone’s spirits up.

I also really like their interactions in Chapter 4 and Yumeno’s love hotel. They’re extremely cute like Yumeno asking Saihara that if he was lost in thought from her beauty and then getting flustered over complimenting herself. Also, Yumeno’s artbook comment is really adorable “*pet pet* Good boy!”

5.Sainaga

This is a bit of a controversial choice, but I actually really love this ship. The reason for this is Angie’s FTEs and her love hotel. I just love the dynamic of the weird quirky girl dominating over the serious and submissive boy here. Strange, I wouldn’t think I’d enjoy a dynamic like that but apparently I do.

Angie’s final FTE has Angie admit that she’s in love with Saihara due to his aggression, and while said aggression was not Saihara’s intention, it sure got Angie to take a liking to him. And I can’t explain why but I loved their interaction. Angie’s quirky and ambiguously bizarre attitude played off of Saihara’s straight man side perfectly. It’s also a part of the FTEs that give some characterisation to Saihara as well as the one he’s hanging out with.

4.Saiten

Ah yes, I can hear people screeching in the distance. I clarified before that Tenko isn’t confirmed a lesbian, just incredibly likely is. In fact, I headcanon her as a lesbian. However, that doesn’t mean it’s a crime against humanity to ship her with a guy. If you guys can ship Komahina despite Hajime likely being straight, I can ship Tenko with Saihara and Kaito. With that out of the way, yes, I ship Saihara with Tenko.

Of course, this ship is incredibly unlikely or got a long way to go. I guess you could say Saiten has still got a ways to go. So why do I like Saiten? Well, as many people have picked up, Saihara seems to be the boy Tenko tolerates the most. She was a bit rude when her dojo showed up(not when they entered) and didn’t let him participate in the celebrity experience, but those aside, she seems to like Saihara. Or at least, she likes Saihara and doesn’t realize such considering her degenerate males thing is only delusion.

These two generally have some nice interactions throughout both Tenko’s FTEs and the main story. The dojo scene and her first FTE in particular shows that she does care about Saihara and respects him to some level despite constantly berating him for being a boy. The part of her FTE where she flips Saihara so hard he passes out, but she feels guilty and brings him to his bed soon after is one of my favorite moments in the FTEs of any of the V3 characters, really.

3.Oumasai

I have a full ship thoughts post on this and while it’s a little outdated, it still holds up opinion-wise. I find their main story interactions quite lacking outside of half of Chapter 4 and Chapter 3 but I really love the dynamic between these two in Ouma’s FTEs, Salmon mode ending and other bonus content. And yes, I am aware of how popular this ship is which results in it having a lot of fans and haters. That means that my liking to this ship and not Saihamatsu is probably going to get me some flak.

First off, I absolutely adore the aesthetic between these two. Ouma’s black, white and purple blends very well with Saihara’s white, black and blue but not in a way where they contrast so much. Saihara’s a detective and Ouma’s a supreme leader which can be bended into a cop and a phantom thief too, so their talents go hand-in-hand. Funny enough, Ouma’s love hotel is quite similar to that scenario.

Getting into their interactions and personalities, Ouma has trust issues and uses his coping mechanism to both keep himself alive and to avoid attachment to anyone. The reason for his ideals is currently unknown. However, despite everything, Ouma wants a friend. Someone who can see his true self and gain his trust. Since Saihara was a detective, he was Ouma’s opportunity to do so. Ouma’s FTEs are his attempt to get closer to Saihara and have a friend who can understand him and figure him out.

The game also implies that in the process of this that Ouma developed feelings for Saihara which is where the love for this ship spawned, thank you single-chapter-4-line-that-caused-an-entire-community-to-go-nuts. I also adore Ouma’s salmon mode ending. Not even the Super High School Level Detective can ace everything perfectly. Ouma calls Saihara out on trying to change him to reveal his true self rather than finding his true self through the fake one which is a pretentious attempt and not a strategy if you want to gain someone’s trust. However, Saihara does take up on Ouma’s idea and agrees to see his true self underneath. Unfortunately, the main story didn’t go as well and while Saihara couldn’t understand Ouma by the end, he still viewed him as his friend. Unfortunately, it was too late for that and Ouma was violently killed off.

2.Saimota

This is the true BROTP right here. After Kaede’s death, Kaito felt the need to carry on her wish and role as leader and tried to train Saihara’s confidence up and understand him like Kaede did. As a result, Kaito ended up understanding Saihara more than Kaede did. He’s what kept Saihara in line the whole time after Kaede’s death. As a result, he, along with Ouma and Kiibo, was the one who ultimately brought Saihara to confront his fear of exposing the truth and prepared him for the consequences in doing so.

Their main story summary aside, these two are pretty much the definition of a bromance. They’re a Kamina/Simon duo(I don’t like calling Kaito a Kamina clone because he isn’t, but Saimota does have a Simon/Kamina feel to it) in which there’s an unconfident but intelligent member and an arrogant but dumb member. What I find interesting however is the way they handle the Simon and Kamina type of relationship in which they have Kaito grow jealous of Saihara for being able to talk with both his mind and his heart while he can only do the latter and focus on his beliefs.

However, after Chapter 4, Kaito gains a lot of character development in which he learns to put his bias aside, use his head a little more and apologise to Saihara for venting out his jealousy onto him. It’s good that V3 gave character development to all of it’s main characters unlike the other games(DR1 had Kirigiri develop, SDR2 had Hajime develop, but DR1 still left Naegi and Togami(until the series went on and he became more of a friend to the group) for development and Chiaki and Komaeda focused more on being endearing characters than having development which isn’t a bad thing) and both Kaito and Saihara are no exception.

Also, can I just point out how Saihara acts like he has a crush on Kaito in his FTEs, like can we just talk about that beauty?

1.Saiibo

I had already made a post on this, but yes, I fucking love Saiibo. I love it a lot. It’s so cute and pure and sweet and comfy and perfect and- I really like Saiibo.

Okay yes, I admit that my favorite thing about this ship is just how cute it is. It is absolutely freaking adorable and even when I try to have a serious discussion on it, I always let my inner fangirl slide which I am proving as I type. Kiibo tries his hardest to be seen as a human and Saihara tries to help out every now and again only to end up comforting him on his failed efforts which is shown in Chapter 5.

I love how this ship is mostly background noise in the main story so it’s easy to appreciate and there’s no strong interactions nor conflict between the two so it also makes it a nice friendship in the background. In Kiibo’s FTEs, Saihara tries to help Kiibo get a career of some sort to help him feel more human and learns more about his history in the process. I’ll go in further depth in my FTE review but Kiibo’s FTEs are amazing for more reasons than the Saiibo scenes. My favorite part in Kiibo’s FTEs is his singing which is so bad Saihara is frightened by it.

And let’s not forget Chapter 6. With Kiibo bringing Saihara back to his senses, the audience erasing Kiibo’s AI through the survey poll and Saihara quite literally breaking his chains to save him. It’s definitely my favorite part of Chapter 6 and a really well done climax. And then you have Kiibo sacrifice himself for the survivors. One of the saddest moments in the game for me. There’s also Kiibo’s love hotel which is also really cute. Kiibo tries to learn romance with Saihara which results in the two holding hands.. Which Saihara points out isn’t really holding hands and just shaking hands.

And those were my top 16 Saihara ships. This was a bit of a short list, especially for one that took so long, but I thought it wouldn’t be fair if I gave in depth paragraphs to Saiharu, Saihamatsu and Oumasai while Saiibo, Saiguuji and Sainaga got almost nothing. I hope you enjoyed this quicky at the very least.

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shinneth · 6 years ago

Text

Gem Ascension Tropes (5XF-specific: A - B)

Primary General Post ✦ Full Article ✦ Primary Peri Post

Peridot (Facet-2F5L Cut-5XF)

Accuser of the Brethren: 5XF starts as one to Peridot when she formally meets her sibling on Earth. It’s also noted both through the narrative and the characters that the rest of the refugee Homeworld gems who ever knew of Peridot in her former life are highly likely to fall into this trope as well; 5XF is basically the poster child. While she does acknowledge Peridot having changed for the better and is no longer the gem she once feared, 5XF staunchly believes her sister’s past actions make her undeserving of the success and happiness Peridot had gained when she made Earth her new home. The middle of This is Who I Am is basically 5XF taking out her stress and frustrations out on Peridot because of her refusal to forgive her for what she’s done in the past. 5XF has since come to deeply regret her actions (realizing her behavior was no better than the 5XG she loathed); however, despite acknowledging Peridot not deserving of her treatment, 5XF still heavily dislikes her sister and envies her achievements. Now that Peridot has become a major roadblock in 5XF’s own pursuit of happiness (aka Sphalerite), the latter is even less inclined to grant her sister the forgiveness she seeks. 5XF is no longer vindictive towards Peridot, but it remains to be seen whether or not she’ll stand up for her when the rest of the refugees are released and inevitably give her sister grief over her past misdeeds.

Acting Your Intellectual Age: Matters of romance aside, 5XF consistently acts more mature, more reserved, and more logical than Peridot. Despite being in her early teens like Peridot while having even fewer life experiences than her (which is a more accurate indication of a gem’s maturity than their chronological age), 5XF definitely comes off as the elder of the two Peridots – by far more than six seconds – with her overall calm and analytical nature. While she has her moments, 5XF seems to have a stronger overall grasp of good manners and an even temper when she meets the Crystal Gems. She’s much less antagonistic and stubborn about cooperating with this group than her little sister was, and unlike Peridot, 5XF is not the least bit egotistical.

Adrenaline Makeover: Had Sphalerite not been there to give 5XF a much more palatable tour of Earth than her components, it’s very likely 5XF would have reverted back to her conservative, cautious, and introverted self after her nervous breakdown. While 5XF doesn’t change in appearance, she becomes much more open to new experiences while under Sphalerite’s wing. She finally learns how to have fun while learning about herself; eventually, 5XF is so emboldened by her newfound identity, she ends up acting very quickly on her feelings with Sphalerite (which surprisingly has some logical backing). Needless to say, 5XF went from barely comprehending the concept of love to wholeheartedly embracing it largely thanks to this trope.

Anger Born of Worry: For someone so allegedly eager to see Peridot and/or Steven die in a heavily rigged deathmatch, 5XF threw a major fit when she watched Peridot nearly kill herself (nearly mutilating her own gemstone in the process) just to stop her dark side from strangling both sides of Steven to death. When Peridot regained consciousness, 5XF even warned her to never do something like that again; clearly overwhelmed with worry and concern. Again, peculiar for someone who allegedly longed to see Peridot die here.

Armor-Piercing Slap: Dishes one out on Steven in This is Who I Am Chapter 2 to snap him out of his stupidity-inducing panic attack after Peridot is poofed with her gemstone falling into the water and out of sight.

Artifact of Doom: The golden crystal that’s strongly implied to host the spirit of Gypsum has been in 5XF’s possession since Chapter 4 of This is Who I Am. It has proved to give her power that has temporarily corrupted her (along with the other two crystals she acquired previously) since 5XF agreed to “let Gypsum in” as payment for being able to fight back and resist Steven and Peridot trying to reclaim her. While in possession of said crystal, 5XF went full-tilt psychotic and organized a very sadistic set of death matches for Steven and Peridot that she watched intently to indulge in their suffering. Once her plan to have at least one of them killed was thwarted, Peridot trapped her in a tiny pocket dimension while she and Steven tried to figure out how to solve their problem. Once 5XF was confirmed to be their only way to rectify things, she was let out… and during that small period of time, the golden crystal embedded itself into 5XF’s chest; effectively binding her to it. Since being teleported out of Gypsum’s domain, the crystal ceased to function in any way, but 5XF and the Crystal Gems are fully aware that it’s likely the crystal will become problematic when they return to Gypsum’s domain in the future. Whether or not there are lingering side-effects in 5XF herself remains to be seen.

The Atoner: By Chapter 7 of This is Who I Am, 5XF proves to feel genuine guilt and remorse for what she put Steven and Peridot through in Chapter 5. Though Steven and Peridot already made her suffer for her transgressions (somewhat), 5XF acknowledges that it doesn’t pardon her crimes and that she needs to actively work and cooperate with the Crystal Gems to have a chance at redeeming herself. She stresses that the last thing she wants to be is another 5XG, referring to Peridot’s former life as a Manipulative Bastard who not only regularly got away with murder, but was often rewarded for it. 5XF’s morals may be skewed right now, but there is a clear line she hopes to never cross again.

Aw, Look! They Really Do Love Each Other: 5XF, who loudly proclaims she wants Peridot to die and even forced her into a rigged deathmatch with her boyfriend to ensure this, throws a fit when Peridot nearly kills herself to force the deathmatch to end without a conclusive “winner” (aka both she and Steven survive). Mind you, 5XF isn’t upset because Peridot found a loophole in an otherwise impossible situation and ruined her plans – she’s torn up over watching her sister actually try to mutilate herself to save Steven’s life without any regard for her own. At the same time, she’s trying to save face by berating Dark Steven for healing Peridot’s wound and saving her life when he’s “supposed” to be trying to kill her. However, the moment Peridot wakes up, 5XF immediately runs to her sister, demanding her to never do something like that ever again.

A prelude to this is shown a few chapters earlier: while Peridot uses her powers to antagonize an alligator, 5XF harshly denounces Steven for encouraging her to interact with an animal he just finished telling her was extremely dangerous. Steven’s reaction is to lampshade this reaction mercilessly, and he even tells Peridot about 5XF’s concern for her later on.

Beach Kiss: 5XF and Sphalerite’s First Kiss takes place on a beach.

Because You Were Nice to Me: While Steven and Peridot at least tried their best to be nice and accommodating for 5XF, it wasn’t until Sphalerite showed up that 5XF started to feel she was being treated this way in earnest.

Big “WHAT?!”: 5XF’s immediate reaction to seeing Peridot’s Mismatched Eyes in This is Who I Am Chapter 1.

Big Sister Instinct: She would vehemently deny this, but 5XF has some moments where she does come across as a responsible worrywart of an older sibling to Peridot, despite being a gem who normally would not have such instincts. This can be traced back to well before they met, as 5XF kept an eye on Peridot from afar for many years when they lived on Homeworld. 5XF never directly worked with Peridot, but often monitored her from a distance (admittedly, a large part of this was done for her own safety, as Peridot back then posed as a potential threat to 5XF’s own livelihood if she got too close); this is how she came to realize her little sister was severely repressing a major moment of her life when she got promoted. Later, 5XF visibly showed concern when she criticized Peridot’s ideas for distracting alligators and denounced Steven for encouraging her little sister to wrangle a gator soon after. When Peridot was eventually poofed by a gator, 5XF was quick to straighten out a hysterical Steven and actively participated in retrieving her sister’s gemstone without any hesitation whatsoever. The most blatant instance of this trope happens when Peridot nearly kills herself to end a set of sadistic deathmatches between herself and Steven; said deathmatches were organized by 5XF herself (who was under the influence of corruptive power, along with loads of other issues). 5XF explicitly states she made this so only Steven or Peridot would come out with their life and was openly gleeful to see Peridot’s demise. However, that falls apart when she watches Peridot pierce her own gemstone with a jagged floor tile: 5XF runs to her and is vividly upset with her sister doing this to herself… despite allegedly desiring to see her die. While she berates Dark Steven for healing Peridot rather than finishing her off, she immediately orders Peridot (when she wakes up) to never do that again.

Blessed with Suck: When 5XF becomes a willing vessel for Gypsum’s powers, she proves to be adept with them right away, as she successfully uses them to ward away Steven and Peridot, as well as incapacitate them. However, as time passes and 5XF’s mental state further deteriorates, she finds she not only has no way of knowing how to consistently control her powers, but doesn’t even possess a full understanding of what said powers are. They’re currently dormant within 5XF while she isn’t in Gypsum’s domain, but considering she has a binding contract to this corrupt gem in the form of said powers and a crystal bonded to her chest, it’s a given these powers will be even more problematic than helpful in the future.

Breakout Character: In the primary GA series, she was a one-scene wonder who only got a couple of verbal mentions towards the end. In This is Who I Am, she starts out as a trial for Steven and Peridot, but halfway into the story, the focus on her gradually grows. She even has the entirety of Chapter 6 to herself (and Sphalerite); she continues to be the centric focus in the final chapter and is confirmed to be a key player in future stories (at least as far as Gypsum is concerned). One can easily make an argument for her being every bit as important as Steven and Peridot in the overall story, if not more so.

Brutal Honesty: Doesn’t seem to be any better about this than Peridot, honestly, though 5XF at least expresses her sentiments with more composure than her little sister.

#gem ascension #gem ascension tropes #gem re:ascension #ga references #this is who i am #tv tropes #steven universe #stevidot #5xf #steven universe oc #peridot #su peridot #sphalerite #gypsum #garnet #su garnet #9fc #3ui #headcanon

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terramythos · 6 years ago

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Review: The Fifth Season by N. K. Jemisin (The Broken Earth #1)

Length: 449 pages.

Genre/Tags: Fantasy, Science Fiction (kind of), Female Protagonist(s), First-Person, Second-Person, Third-Person, Apocalyptic, Dark, LGBT Characters, Diverse Cast, Great Worldbuilding, Split Narrative, Trilogy, Perfect Score

Warning(s): This is not a happy book. Child death, graphic violence, torture/abuse, slavery, references to rape.

My Rating: 5 / 5 (Highly Recommended)

My Summary:

In a world known as The Stillness, constantly besieged by earthquakes, a woman named Essun comes home to discover her husband has murdered their son and disappeared with their daughter. Feared, dehumanized, and enslaved by society at large, Essun is an “orogene”, a person with the ability to manipulate the earth and energy around them. She has been hiding in plain sight away from The Fulcrum, the governing body and prison of her kind. Meanwhile, hundreds of miles away, a different orogene unleashes a deadly cataclysm that throws the world into the apocalypse.

The story follows three women through various points in time. Essun, in the present, must survive the coming Season as she tracks down her husband. Damaya, a young child from the past, has just discovered that she is an orogene— and is about to discover how cruel the world is for people like her. Finally, Syenite, an ambitious young adult trained by The Fulcrum, is sent on a routine mission with Alabaster, the most powerful orogene alive. Ordered to produce a child with him, Alabaster’s strange, dangerous ideas about orogenes and their place in society threaten to change everything.

But of course, nothing is quite that simple.

Winter, Spring, Summer, Fall; Death is the fifth, and master of all.

**Minor Spoilers and My Thoughts Follow**

One thing I want to get out in the open— my summary is misleading. In fact, most summaries I’ve seen for this novel are misleading. Yes, it’s technically true; those are all things that happen. The thing about this novel, though, is that just about everything in it is a spoiler. The worldbuilding is so steady and deliberate that many major components of the story are not revealed until later. So, to be safe (hah), I minimized the details. The result is a story that sounds like many others in the genre. But there’s a whole lot more at play than my summary suggests. And it is going to be hard to talk about this novel without spoiling anything, but I’ll do my best.

This book sounds dark. It sounds bleak. And it absolutely is. But I think this is also a very important book, and even if stories like this are not your usual cup of tea, I highly encourage you to read it.

The Fifth Season was a wild ride. The Stillness is fascinating, and shies away from most of the Tolkein-esque, Euro-centric standards of modern fantasy. The worldbuilding is slow and well-executed, sprinkling details in when they become relevant, but over time forming an intricate, interesting setting. These facts alone would make it worth reading, in my eyes, but it’s the level of writing ability and thought-provoking twists that really make this one shine. If the other two books in the series are nearly as good as this one, I know I’m in for a treat.

The writing is masterful. I don’t just say that because it’s a good story— it is— but the technical level of craft is just mind-boggling. The narrative is deeply personable and made me connect to the characters without me even really realizing it. Without edging into direct spoilers, there are so many details planted in any given chapter that twist back and become relevant later. Or, even more impressive, there are a number of things conspicuously MISSING that end up relevant later. It felt like I was being guided along by an unseen hand throughout the whole book, and the end result was both satisfying and deeply unsettling. This is how good writing should work, and it so often does not. To do this on top of juggling THREE different stories? N. K. Jemisin makes the whole thing seem effortless.

At times I had to stop reading because I couldn’t believe anything could be this GOOD. This is the first book in a long time where I couldn’t wait to get home and keep reading. I spent hours at a time just completely engrossed. I love reading, I love good stories, but this one is the first in a while that felt like an experience.

One thing I really appreciated was how Jemisin plays with expectations. I found myself predicting how certain storylines or conflicts would unfold because I’ve seen them before, but then she would, at the last moment, pull things in a completely new direction. Some things went how I expected them to, but there was enough divergence to keep things interesting. And boy, was I hooked the entire time. Even in places where the pacing slowed a little bit, I was eager to see what was happening with the other characters in one story thread or other.

And the characters… whoo boy. I really enjoyed the perspective characters, but there are several side (arguably main) characters I really liked as well. Alabaster in particular was fascinating, and probably my favorite. I also liked Tonkee and Hoa, characters who show up part way into Essun’s story, who I’m assuming are going to be bigger players going forward. One of the main antagonists is so goddamn creepy, but not in the usual way? It’s hard to describe, but he was fascinating as well. There are others, but I don’t want to just list a bunch of names that won’t mean much to someone reading this review. Just read the damn book.

Representation is also excellent, which I didn’t expect at the beginning of the story. First off, none of the major characters are white (well, at least by current standards). There’s at least one major gay, bisexual, and transgender character in the story as well, which is always nice to see. I won’t say who is which, just that each was a pleasant surprise to me. There’s even a happy and healthy polyamorous relationship late into the novel, which I really enjoyed. There are so many irritating love triangles out there that it was nice to see a deliberate subversion.

As I have implied, there are some major twists in the story. Some are more obvious than others, but they all felt well set up and executed. One of my favorites is a throwaway line that comes back to reveal one twist, then comes back AGAIN for a second sucker punch at the end. The novel doesn’t even draw much attention to it— it’s something you have to realize on your own. I am pretty proud of myself for figuring one twist that isn’t confirmed until the final goddamn line. And still, there were plenty that took me by surprise. I feel like there is probably a bigger overarching twist or two that will be explored in later novels, because there is so much WEIRD shit that we still do not have answers for. The Fifth Season works well as a unit, but it practically begs for sequels, so I’m glad there are two lined up on my reading list.

The Fifth Season is not a happy novel. It starts with a dead kid, so that much should be obvious. A great deal of the narrative focuses on the atrocities and abuses committed against a group of people. It’s obviously an allegory for plenty of horrific things both today and throughout history, and it deliberately sides with the oppressed (something many fantasy stories fail to do). And I think The Fifth Season would be good if it was JUST that, but there’s so much more going on in the story that it truly stands apart as something remarkable. Time will tell, but as of finishing this novel, I think it might be one of the best I’ve ever read. Despite the dark subject matter I really cannot recommend it enough. Please do yourself a favor and read The Fifth Season. If only so I can scream with you.

#taylor reviews #taylor reads #5/5 #not to be dramatic but this might be one of the best books i've read #also i cranked this out in an hr so it might suck. sorry.

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