#And Im just... me
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Really sucks when a former friend starts messaging you again, and life has gotten weird, and you don't know how to get past the awkwardness and make things like they were; like we were on some friends talk all day good morning good night stuff, we exchanged nudes at a point in our relationship, now I'm past the opening "how are you" salvo looking at the driest response ever, and ope, lookit that, I'm actually just talking about the weather. And work.
#And does it make me feel like it's my fault?#Listen...... yes#People always just leave me behind and if they come back this always happens#And why shouldnt it he asks?#I dunno it's a very bleak feeling I didnt even intend to be sad about this early in the morning#I mean all I have going for me is work#And I like. Feel myself exhausting people because Im boring and lame and the only thing I do is talk about my day#But it's also like I try to let people in all the time and they just fucking ghost me#Like this one here ghosted me#And went on to live a life and have a partner and move into a house and experience big life changes#And Im just... me#Aint nobody want that in their life and not one damn person would be faulted for leaving me behind anywhere#Wow I. really didnt mean to get so down it's early in the morning#But trying to work out how to respond to like#The driest tone imaginable from someone kinda threw me#And I just get to reflect on my own inadequacies and that I basically bring nothing to the table#Except like. Memes and cat pictures#Sigh#Sorry#Long tags are long#Long post nobody read#Pass on by
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was talking to a coworker and realised i could not for the life of me remember his name but i was too embarrassed to ask because we've spoken multiple times so mid-conversation i started concocting a plan to nudge the conversation towards the ID photos on our building passes so that i could be like oh my ID photo is awful haha the camera they use to take these has a real talent for making me look as unphotogenic as possible and then he would say oh yes me too haha everyone says that (because they do) and then i would be able to say well let me see yours it can't be as bad as mine! and he would show me his ID because we are coworkers and why wouldn't he and this would allow me to see his building pass which of course would have his name on it and then i would be able to say well yours is perfectly nice it must be me that's the problem! and then we would have a polite chuckle about it and i would have his name without needing to ask for it and he would be none the wiser and all would be well but then before i could execute this fine plan a little voice in my head went "so this is some light yagami bull shit you are about to pull" which was such a violent reality check it shocked me completely out of my embarrassment and i went "hey im so sorry your name has slipped my mind could you remind me" and he did and it was fine.
#just#this happened once before when i was speaking to someone who clearly knew me but i didn't know them#and they were OBVIOUSLY an important person of some sort and I couldn't ask#so i pretended to hear something and looked over and they looked over too to see what i was looking at#and while they were distracted i snuck a peek at their id badge. this worked#rookposting#everyone has done some variation of this before.#im only self conscious because of all the kinassigning.
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slow down for your disabled friends. thats like a bare minimum kindness that we shouldnt have to ask for. i love that youre so quirky and walking fast is a cool personality trait to you and all that but i bet you can count your physically disabled friends on less than one hand
#in a perfect world the move im gay meme would be about being fat or having a mobility aid and people just standing in your way in public#my bemoanings#debated posting this but itd be nice to have some solidarity where my mobility aid users at who have not a lot of good outside friends#also if youre a friend of mine who is worried that you might be the person in the comic im gonna be real#MULTIPLE ppl have said this exact thing to me and id rather you just slow down next time. dont come to me asking for forgiveness or smth#also straight up the person in this comic i havent seen for years because they were mean to me anyways
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this what im going thru rn. if anyone gaf
#im just going to communicate using hieroglyphics now#words are not enough for the fucking brain rot I can’t talk thru it anymore#my brain is just a vessel for mold#im piloted by mold#im molded by mold#my useless stupid princess babygirl…………………….#this is getting out of hand and I haven’t even seen the romance yet fuck!! what will happen to me !!#fuck!!
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writing advice for characters with a missing eye: dear God does losing an eyes function fuck up your neck. Ever since mine crapped out I've been slowly and unconsciously shifting towards holding my head at an angle to put the good eye closer to the center. and human necks. are not meant to accommodate that sorta thing.
#like it started with me just holding things more towards my right#but the things started shifting more towards center and my head turns instead#like. when im driving especially i have to keep my head turned so i can see on coming traffic#and when im around people ive noticed i position myself so my body is facing them and then turn my head to get them actually#centered in my now very right biased field of view#so anyways draw blorbo bleebus cheated to that 3/4s angle without guilt#at least one one eyed fucker actually does that
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My fellow bitches under 5'5. Whatever the money, do not take a job working at a middle school. A fellow adult tried to put me in detention last month and would NOT give up until I showed her my badge proving Yes, The School Hired Me To Work Here. It's not meant for people our height.
#personal#back to work tomorrow prepare thyself#i have had other adults try to take my phone away ask if I have a tardy pass the aforementioned detention incident-#THE LIST GOES ON#i usually get an apology after they realize im twenty fucking six but sometimes im like#....if you need to apologize this profusely for talking to me like that when you realized i wasn't a student#maybe you shouldn't be talking to the students like that either?#i get it they're irritating as hell but like. as soon as you realized i could report you for yelling at me the way u just did#u HELLA backtracked.#maybe some self reflection is in order?
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As gen-AI becomes more normalized (Chappell Roan encouraging it, grifters on the rise, young artists using it), I wanna express how I will never turn to it because it fundamentally bores me to my core. There is no reason for me to want to use gen-AI because I will never want to give up my autonomy in creating art. I never want to become reliant on an inhuman object for expression, least of all if that object is created and controlled by tech companies. I draw not because I want a drawing but because I love the process of drawing. So even in a future where everyone’s accepted it, I’m never gonna sway on this.
#personal#im still fighting it but im also a realist so I’ve accepted that this will be our future#rant#gen ai is fucking boring#I hope this doesn’t make me sound like a ‘going against the crowd. not like the rest of society’ type (it would be depressing if it did)#but yeah even in a world where it’s considered totally fine to use ai to make art I’ll still be using my bare hands#because I like it and nobody can take that from me#if you’re a young artist interested in or already using ai. just know that the thing you rely on to make art can be taken away at any point#all of it. and there’s nothing you can do about it if they decide to. it doesn’t belong to you
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#mine#credit me if repost#girlblog#girlblogger#girlblogging#this is a girlblog#coquette#coquette community#gloomy coquette#girlhood#this is girlhood#girl interupted syndrome#femcel#female insanity#the female experience#devine feminine#lana del ray aka lizzy grant#female manipulator#manic pixie dream girl#hell is a teenage girl#im just a girl#sparkle jump rope queen#lana is queen#queen of the gas station#bambi doe#coquette angel#coquette dollette
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#comic#hatsune miku#miku#fortnite#hatsune miku fortnite#i used to play a lot of fortnite and then one day i stopped#idk if even she can get me to play again tbh i just do not care anymore#im in my big fromsoft phase anyway. i drew this while watching my partner play sekiro#and we play elden ring with a co op mod#its fun. play video games with your loved ones
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shoutout to everyone who wants to infodump but cant string together coherent thoughts to form sentences and instead just look at you like this
#and by 'everyone' i mean me. im just hoping other people relate lmao#someone asks me about a thing i like and im just like h..................#been thinking about The Character for a solid 6 months+ and let me tell you. expldoeing soon#this is about ffxv btw . how am i supposed to say how much it lives in my brain . i cant think#text#1k#5k#10k#15k#20k#great googly moogly#30k#40k#50k#60k#boooy what da heeel#70k#80k#90k#will this be my first ever post to hit 100k... it remains to be seen#good lord. we did it#100k
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oof

#me when i graduated with my bachelor’s#tarotblr#tarot#divination#witchblr#tarotcommunity#tarot reading#witchcraft#tarot reader#tarot blog#witches of tumblr#witch community#witch#paganblr#paganism#spirituality#occult#achievement#graduation#girl blogger#girlblogging#girlhood#girl interrupted#female rage#im just a girl#school#pagan#girl blog#just girly things#this is what makes us girls
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newest issue of first years fashion just dropped
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#yuji itadori#nobara kugisaki#fushiguro megumi#itafushikugi#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk art#this quickly got away from me#taking hina from 3 days ago who thought 'yeah ill do 3 outfits for each of them what's the harm' and strangling her w my bare hands#original concept fr this was drawing the kids each matching a different outfit w gojo#but i got frustrated by th heights and placement so i said no tall people allowed and scrapped gojo from plans <3#tbh it wouldnt have been /that/ much better in terms of workload but the 3 drawings it would have saved me isnt nothing#but im just complaining fr nothing atp lmao i love all of these sm i love playing dress up with my tuoys (the jjk first years)#love treating them like mannequins i love coming up w outfits layer those kids UP#nobara especially i have so much fun brainstorming she looks good in everything To Me#i dressed megumi more smart casual than normal bc he's got gojo's credit card info and if i want him in balenciagas gdi he's gna get them#also listen i love megumi we know this but fr the sake of not dressing him in solid colour slacks and sweaters 3 different ways#i gave him the workout fit. it cant b yuuji all the time ok i think we deserve megumi in a compression shirt as a treat#speaking of yuuji good god where do i start#he's definitely stylish but in a 'got dressed in the dark/threw on the first articles of clothing i saw' way and i adore him so much for it#wears things tht make him happy w no regard for how they may or may not look tgt bless his heart#also i drew th skateboard fr posing purposes entirely forgetting my prior hc that yuuji cant skate so i roughed him up fr consistency#th boy just ate concrete but is ready to get back up and try again what a champ#anyway bless this line and shading style i lov u less detailed render i love u sharp swoopy fabric lines#saved me sm time fr#also this is my application fr the mappa jjk marketing team they should hire me and let me dress the chars id be so good i promise#ill even take out the vocaloid and pop culture references i wont infringe on any ip i sweaaarr
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This is my love letter to the most beautiful ship I witnessed this year. Cheers to us Jayvik nation 💫


#just wanna say im so touched with the kind words i read on my wip post#you guys helped me finish this one!!#my magnus opus for this year i fear#arcane spoilers#arcane#jayvik#sketch#fanart#myart#procreate#drawing#illustration
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it's extremely critical that you see the photo of the perp walk for luigi mangione as being propaganda. i've seen so many people wave it off and instead fawn over his looks. and trust me, i know it ended up being kind of pathetic and weird - but please don't brush it off as a "modelling opportunity" for him. it's a fucking terrifying message the police are sending.
i want to make a few comparisons here, in case you're not from the US or familiar with why the perp walk thing is something to pay attention to. just to set the groundwork for why this is a purposeful, unusual, and cruel act by the nyc police - for why this is not a common occurrence and for why that matters.
the prosecution alleges the show of force is due to the charge of "terrorism." for comparison, in june 2015, tsarnaev was found guilty for the boston marathon bombing, which killed 3 people and injured hundreds. his actions are considered to be an act of domestic terrorism. i have spent the last hour looking through google for pictures of similar to mangione's perp walk - and so far, i have found zero. i also just do not personally remember a moment like that, despite living in boston at the time.
they allege that luigi is a stone-cold killer who carried out a longterm plan, making him particularly dangerous. again for comparison: in nyc, recently cory martin was found guilty of the killing of brandy odom. the murder was planned and premeditated to steal insurance money. and yet no staged perp walk. why didn't her life matter enough for a "show of force"?
but mangione gets paraded by a veritable army of police officers as if he is a rabid animal. for a single citizen who allegedly killed one other single citizen, the "largest perp walk ever" occurs.
so what is the "strong message" that the mayor and the police were trying to send here? the mayor speaks as if mangione is already convicted of terrorism. there is a very thin number of people who feel threatened by the CEO's death. none of us felt like mangione needs to be under massive armed guard.
the message is that you shouldn't resist. they are trying to "make an example" of him - that if you behave badly and kill a single rich person, you'll be treated as if you killed hundreds of people. you will be treated worse than a man who was found guilty of terrorism. you will be considered guilty without trial. the message is that the rich are a protected class, and you cannot touch them without massive punishment. they are trying to prevent a revolution by showing dominance and force against you.
the message is that the police are a puppet of the wealthy and that the law is not equally applied across class disparity. it is "some are more equal than others." it is "one life is more precious than another."
the show of force wasn't for luigi. it was for us. it was a warning. they are trying to remind us who is really in control.
#i bring up tsarnev only bc i feel like people DID want blood. i lived in boston. people wanted to rip him apart.#i do not personally remember a moment where he was paraded around like that. and the fact we gave more dignity to him#than luigi .... is startling.#and i just realized last night i was like - i don't really remember a perp walk like that. maybe im misremembering#but i went to google and i was like. wait why the fuck was it so fucking big.#it WASNT a random act of terror. it WASNT to injure/kill as many as possible.#even if we consider it to be premeditated murder: when have we ever done this.#so brandy's life didnt deserve “a show of force?”#the mayor doesn't say ''our city wont stand for this'' when it's a planned murder for insurance money????#anyway . ur not immune etc etc etc#but i also wanted the comparisons in here in case ppl aren't from amercia etc#this ISNT normal or usual. this was overkill by like a million#on the other hand they gotta do this bc they're scared :)#i kept this bc i had ppl ask me not to delete this but i just felt like#it wasn't really poetry just talkin
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#girlblogging#girlblogger#just girly things#thought daughter#thoughts#this is what makes us girls#coquette#girl hysteria#hell is a teenage girl#lana del rey#ldr#ultraviolence#female manipulator#female rage#female hysteria#manic pixie dream girl#girl interrupted#the virgin suicides#lisbon sisters#sofia coppola#relatable#im just a girl#girlhood#so me coded#nonchalant#whisper girl
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i think we should remind musicians they can absolutely make up little stories for their songs btw. it doesn’t have to be about them at all. you can invent a guy and put him in situations to music. time honoured tradition in fact.
#sorry im bored of the same tags on this lmao#sometimes i think the confessional style loses impact because everything has to be excavated from the depths of the soul#and somehow. confessional writing seems to be going with the most disaffected bland sound possible. odd.#i love deeply personal songs! i love when songs sound like they mean something to the artist!#something something wider issue of mining trauma and being performatively vulnerable for quote unquote content#idk i don’t have the actual knowledge to write about this well there’s just something not landing for me recently#mine
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