#And it's why I'm still actively writing for it (I just... need to finish something).

[rahabs]

Honestly pretty done trying to make friends in this fandom on servers.

[velvetvisionsaurora]

Alpha ATEEZ x Assistant Omega Reader

Warnings: omega reader, alpha ateez, scenting, heats, ruts, slow burn, eventual smut, forced command, more to come!

When Y/n accepts a position as assistant to alpha K-pop group ATEEZ, she's prepared with professional skills and scent blockers to hide her omega status. What she's not prepared for is the immediate, inexplicable connection she feels with all eight members—a resonance that defies her careful boundaries.

As Y/n becomes eerily attuned to their needs, her suppressed omega nature begins to emerge: purring for the first time in years, responding to alpha growls, feeling safe in ways she never has before. When a protective incident reveals the depth of the members' attachment to her, Y/n must confront the possibility that what binds them together is something ancient and profound.

Authors note: Double post because I missed yesterday! If you haven’t read Compass of the Heart, you may not know but I have twin toddlers, and with preschool ending, summer things and my full time job it’s going to take me a minute to adjust to finding writing time. So if things do get wacky please don’t worry, if I’m taking a longer break I will always let you know!

<<Previous Next>>

Masterlist Ko-Fi☕️

Chapter 12: Awakening

There was something about Yunho’s easy energy that had always put you at ease, and today especially. 

After finishing breakfast, you both moved to the living room. You settled onto the couch with your tablet, still hoping to get some work done despite Hongjoong's orders, while Yunho sprawled on the floor with his gaming controller.

"You know," he said, pausing his game setup to look at you, "you don't have to pretend to work just because I'm here. It's supposed to be a rest day."

"I'm not pretending," you protested, though the way you were aimlessly scrolling through the same schedule you'd already memorized suggested otherwise.

Yunho grinned, setting down his controller and moving to sit beside you on the couch. "Come on, when's the last time you just... relaxed? No schedules, no coordinating, no making sure eight chaotic alphas don't burn the house down?"

You considered his question seriously. "I... honestly can't remember."

"Exactly," he said, gently taking the tablet from your hands and setting it aside. "So today, we're going to practice the art of doing absolutely nothing productive."

"I don't know how to do nothing," you admitted, feeling oddly lost without your usual tasks to focus on.

"Lucky for you, I'm an excellent teacher," Yunho replied with that bright smile that never failed to make you feel lighter. "Step one: forget about work. Step two: find something that makes you happy. Step three: do that thing."

"And what if work makes me happy?" you challenged playfully.

"Then you need better hobbies," he shot back, his eyes twinkling with mischief. "What did you like to do before you became our incredibly efficient but slightly workaholic assistant?"

The question made you pause. It had been so long since you'd thought about leisure activities that weren't somehow connected to your job. "I used to read a lot. And I liked cooking, though I never had much time for elaborate meals."

"See? We can work with that," Yunho said enthusiastically. "Reading and cooking. Both perfectly valid ways to spend a forced day off."

"You make it sound so simple," you said, though you were smiling despite yourself.

"It is simple. You're the one making it complicated," he replied, then reached over to gently poke your nose. "Stop overthinking everything, Tulip."

The casual use of Wooyoung's nickname for you, delivered with such fond affection, made your heart flutter unexpectedly. "Did you just—"

"What? Call you Tulip?" Yunho's grin widened at your flustered expression. "I like it. It suits you. Sweet and beautiful, but stronger than people expect."

Heat rose to your cheeks at the compliment. "You can't just say things like that."

"Why not? It's true," he said simply, his expression growing more serious. "You are beautiful, Y/n. Inside and out. And stronger than you give yourself credit for."

The sincere way he spoke, the gentle intensity in his eyes, made your breath catch. "Yunho..."

"What?" he asked softly, leaning slightly closer. "Is it wrong of me to want you to see yourself the way we see you?"

The space between you seemed to shrink without either of you consciously moving. You could see the golden flecks in his brown eyes. 

"How do you see me?" you whispered, the question escaping before you could stop it.

"Like you're precious," he replied without hesitation, his hand coming up to gently cup your cheek. "Like you're exactly what we've all been missing without knowing it. Like you're home."

Your heart hammered against your ribs as his thumb traced across your cheekbone with reverent gentleness. "Yunho, I—"

"Can I kiss you?" he interrupted softly, his gaze dropping briefly to your lips before meeting your eyes again. "Please?"

The simple request, asked with such tender hope, made your omega purr with satisfaction even as your rational mind tried to catch up with what was happening. Instead of answering with words, you found yourself nodding, leaning into his touch.

When his lips met yours, the kiss was different from the passionate encounters you'd shared with Hongjoong, Wooyoung and Seonghwa. This was soft, sweet, almost tentative—like Yunho was savoring every second, memorizing the feel of you against him.

When you finally broke apart, both breathing slightly harder, Yunho rested his forehead against yours with a contented sigh.

"I've wanted to do that for so long," he admitted quietly.

"Really?" you asked, still feeling slightly dazed from the kiss.

"Really," he confirmed, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. "Now, how about we find you a good book while I set up my game? We can be unproductive together."

You laughed softly, the sound making Yunho's smile brighten even further. "That sounds perfect."

As he settled back onto the floor with his controller and you curled up on the couch with a book from their impressive collection, you couldn't help but marvel at how right this felt—spending a quiet morning with Yunho, no schedules or responsibilities, just the two of you existing in comfortable companionship.

---

Yunho had retreated to his room after lunch, the sounds of his gaming session drifting down the hallway—enthusiastic exclamations punctuated by the rapid clicking of his controller. You'd assured him multiple times that you were fine, that he didn't need to hover, and eventually he'd relented enough to give you some space while still remaining within earshot.

Now you found yourself sprawled on the living room couch, staring at the ceiling and trying to understand what was happening to your body. The restless energy that had started this morning was only getting stronger, making it impossible to sit still or focus on anything for more than a few minutes.

Your omega felt... different. More aware, more attuned to the house around you. Ever since yesterday's revelation, since the members had begun openly acknowledging what you were and responding to you with increased affection and protectiveness, something fundamental had shifted in your nature.

It was as if spending months surrounded by eight alphas while suppressing your omega instincts had created a dam that was now beginning to crack. Their casual touches, their protective hovering, their unguarded affection—it was awakening parts of your omega that you'd kept carefully dormant.

After twenty minutes of fruitless lounging, the restless energy won out. You pushed yourself off the couch and began moving through the house, drawn by an inexplicable need to... what? Clean? Organize? Care for the space that housed your alphas?

The thought should have startled you—your alphas—but instead it felt natural, right in a way that made your omega purr with satisfaction.

You started in the living room, straightening throw pillows and folding the blankets that had been left draped over chairs. The simple acts of bringing order to their space felt surprisingly fulfilling, each small task soothing the restless itch beneath your skin.

Moving to the kitchen, you found dishes from breakfast still waiting in the sink. Without thinking, you rolled up your sleeves and began washing them, the warm water and routine motions helping to calm your agitated omega. As you worked, you found yourself humming softly—another omega behavior you'd suppressed for so long it felt strange and wonderful to let it emerge naturally.

The laundry was next. Following your nose to the utility room, you discovered several loads of clothes waiting to be sorted and washed. As you began separating dark from light, your hands stilled suddenly on a particular shirt.

You lifted the garment to your face before you could stop yourself, breathing in deeply. The scent that filled your senses was unmistakably Hongjoong's—sandalwood and ocean breeze, rich and masculine and completely intoxicating. Your omega responded immediately, a soft whine escaping your throat at the pure rightness of his scent.

Confused, you checked your scent blocker patch with one hand. It was still firmly in place, still functioning. So why could you suddenly smell...?

Curious now, you rifled through the pile of clothes, bringing different items to your nose. A soft sweater that smelled like vanilla and cedarwood—Seonghwa's scent, warm and comforting and safe. A dance practice shirt that carried the bright, energizing scent of citrus and clean linen that could only be Yunho's.

A black t-shirt that made your knees weak with its potent combination of cinnamon and dark chocolate—San's scent, spicy and tempting and utterly masculine. Your omega practically purred at the intensity of it, your body responding with a heat that had nothing to do with the temperature of the room.

Another shirt, this one carrying the rich, earthy combination of soil and pine that belonged to Mingi. The scent brought memories of his protective presence, his gentle touches, the way he'd looked at you with such fierce care. Your omega whined again, a soft sound of longing that you couldn't suppress.

What was happening to you? How were you suddenly able to detect their scents through your blocker? You touched the patch again, pressing on it to make sure it was properly adhered, but it seemed to be working normally.

Yet here you were, surrounded by the distinct scents of your alphas, your omega responding to each one with increasing desperation. When you encountered a hoodie that carried the light, alluring scent of musk and cherry blossoms—Yeosang's scent, subtle but unmistakable—you actually had to grip the edge of the washing machine to steady yourself.

The lively, invigorating scent of bergamot and ginger from one of Wooyoung's shirts made your omega keen with want. Even the crisp, refreshing scent of apples and mint from Jongho's workout clothes affected you, despite him being the youngest of the pack.

By the time you'd loaded the first batch of clothes into the washing machine, you were practically trembling with need. Your omega was in overdrive, responding to the concentrated scents of eight different alphas with an intensity that left you breathless and confused.

The overwhelming intensity of their scents was becoming too much to bear. With shaking hands, you made your way to the guesthouse, your omega whining softly at leaving the den that smelled so perfectly of your alphas. You needed to change your scent blocker—maybe the current one was malfunctioning, allowing their scents to break through when it shouldn't.

In your bathroom, you carefully removed the patch behind your ear and replaced it with a fresh one from your supply. The relief was immediate but incomplete—the scents around you dulled to manageable levels, but your omega seemed to grow even more anxious in response.

It was as if blocking their scents again had triggered something deeper, a desperate need to care for the alphas who had protected you, who had shown you such fierce loyalty and affection. Not in the way omega stereotypes suggested—submissive and mindless—but in the way you naturally wanted to care for people who mattered to you.

Your hands moved without conscious thought as you returned to the kitchen, mixing ingredients for cookies you didn't remember deciding to make. The motions felt automatic, instinctual, your omega driving you to provide comfort and nourishment for your pack.

While the cookies baked and dinner continued to simmer, you found yourself climbing the stairs to Yunho's room with a plate of the fresh-baked treats. You knocked softly on his door before entering, finding him absorbed in what appeared to be an intense battle sequence.

"I brought you some cookies," you said softly, not wanting to startle him during what looked like a crucial moment.

Yunho paused his game immediately, turning to look at you with an expression of pure wonder. His eyes tracked your movements as you set the plate beside his setup, then noticed his empty water glass.

"Let me refill this for you," you murmured, already reaching for the cup.

"You don't have to—" he started, but you were already heading back downstairs.

When you returned with his freshly filled glass, setting it carefully within reach, Yunho's smile was radiant—that beautiful, sunshine expression that never failed to make your heart flutter.

"Thank you Tulip," he said, his voice warm with genuine appreciation and something deeper, something that made your omega practically glow with satisfaction.

The praise, the gratitude, the sheer happiness in his expression triggered something primal in your omega. Before you could stop yourself, a soft purr rumbled from your chest, followed by a delighted chirp that sounded foreign to your own ears but felt completely natural.

You fled the room immediately, embarrassed by the omega sounds you couldn't control, but not before you caught the way Yunho's eyes widened and his mouth fell slightly open.

Back in the kitchen, you threw yourself into finishing dinner preparations, trying to ignore the way your omega continued to purr softly with contentment at having pleased one of your alphas.

---

In his room, Yunho sat frozen, staring at his game screen where his character had been brutally defeated while he'd been distracted. But he couldn't bring himself to care about the loss, not when the most beautiful sound he'd ever heard was still echoing in his ears.

That purr. That soft, musical chirp.

His omega had made those sounds for him, because of him, in response to his simple gratitude. The realization sent a wave of alpha satisfaction through him so intense it was almost overwhelming.

He'd heard omega sounds before, of course—in videos, in passing—but nothing had prepared him for the effect of hearing them from you. Your omega expressing contentment and pleasure at caring for him, at receiving his praise.

His hands moved automatically to restart the level, but his mind was entirely focused on one desperate thought: he needed to hear those sounds again.

The cookies you'd brought him sat forgotten on the plate as Yunho tried to process what had just happened. Your omega was awakening, responding to them with increasing openness, and the sounds you were making were the most perfect thing he'd ever experienced.

His alpha was practically vibrating with the need to find you, to praise you more, to coax more of those incredible sounds from your omega. But he forced himself to stay put, knowing that crowding you right now might scare your newly awakening omega back into hiding.

Still, as he attempted to refocus on his game, Yunho couldn't stop the smile that spread across his face. Your omega had purred for him. Had chirped with happiness at his simple thanks.

And he was absolutely determined to make it happen again.

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[luvhughes43]

The beginning | jack hughes

[journalist!au masterlist⭐️]

word count: 5.6k

summary: yours and jacks relationship came as a surprise, and so when things end and youre left with an even bigger surprise? and jacks nowhere to be found... what do you do?

mentions: pregnancy, cheating, etc.

THIS IS A REPOST !

The first time you met Jack Hughes you were job shadowing a colleague of yours. It was your first real week of working at the New York Times, and with how busy the team's schedule was you were sent down with Lewis from the sports column to report on… something hockey related. You weren’t really sure, and Lewis didn’t care to fill you in. 

You had never given hockey two thoughts when you were growing up. Your father wasn’t interested in any sports aside from the usual football game on thanksgiving (which you had a theory he just watched to get out of festive activities and house work). And anyway, there was only one local ice rink where you grew up that was always under renovations so you’d never really had the opportunity to learn about the sport. 

All that to say, you had no idea what you were doing. You watched Lewis pin his “The Athletic” reporters badge, and you fiddled with your visitors pass as you waited for the press conference to start. 

When the conference did start, you jotted down notes absentmindedly on your notepad. About halfway through the meeting, your attention is immediately pulled to a side door where a few men stood, snickering and whispering to each other. 

One of the men noticed you though, smirking half-heartedly in your direction as he nodded his head towards you. That small action caused the rest of the boys to look over in your direction. Your face flushed, and before you could look away your eyes connected with those of maybe the cutest guy you’ve ever seen. His hair was brown and overgrown, and his whole face lit up when he laughed. 

“Ow!” you whispered, rubbing your arm to try and alleviate the pain that was Lewis elbow knocking into your side. He pointed to the man speaking at the front of the room, and immediately looked away from you with an annoyed expression etched onto his face. “i’m sorry,” you whispered to Lewis but he shook his head in response. “pay attention.” his harsh tone brought you back to reality, and with one more glance at the cute man in the corner, you return all your attention back to the conference. 

⋆ ★

“Journalists still use notepads?” a teasing voice asks, and when you lift your head up from your notebook you see the same man from earlier staring at you. 

“We use recorders too but I'm just job shadowing so I didn’t think I needed it. Lewis the-” you stop your sentence short, well aware of the fact that this guy probably didn’t care about your writing tools or your coworker. 

The guy surprises you though. He leans against the wall, crossing his arms over his chest and nods at you to continue. 

“Lewis, he works for the athletic paper. anyway, i was assigned to shadow him today because the woman who i was going to shadow had this breaking news story she had to cover,” 

“why didn’t you go with her?” the man asks, genuinely curious. 

“Well it's my first week and the woman is really particular about how she works. She said if I followed her she’d only get distracted,” you finish your story with the shrug of your shoulder. 

the guy nods in understanding before he pushes himself off and away from the wall. He squints a little and points to your name tag.

“Oh, i’m Y/n” you say, adjusting your name tag so he could read it properly. 

“I'm Jack” he smiles at you, and before either of you has time to say anything else, Lewis walks over to you grumbling. 

“It’s time to go,” 

you smile politely at Jack and he reciprocates. 

“See you around, Y/n” he raises his hand in a boyish fashion before retreating out of the hallway. 

⋆ ★

“It's so cold!” you shivered, voice quivering as you try to warm yourself up with the palm of your hands. you decided not to wear a coat tonight, against your better judgements, and now the frigid Manhattan air came to bite you in the ass. 

your friend nodded, teeth chattering as you two ran across the street and down the next block. 

your friends apartment came up first, and so she rushes out a quick goodbye before you set off down the street again. 

“Fuck! Where am I?” you hear a mans voice ask off in the distance. You wouldn’t normally try and investigate, but when you looked up and saw the familiar mop of brown hair, you made the decision to go over and talk to him.

“Jack?” you asked, hands still rubbing up and down your arms to try and provide you some warmth. 

Jack looks up startled, and once he recognizes it's you he relaxes again.

“Y/n right? From work?” he asks, and you nod as you step closer to him. The street lamps illuminate his face perfectly, hues of yellow and orange highlighting his features well.

“Yeah,” you nodded, face twisting in confusion as you watch Jack shrug out of his jacket. 

“I’ll let you wear my coat if you help me get.. here” Jack points to the blue destination point on his phone. 

You weigh your options, you could take his coat and help him out.. Meaning that you got to spend more time with him.. or, you could go home to the warmth of your apartment..

You hold your hand out for his jacket, and Jack smiles as he passes it over to you. 

You peer at his phone, taking a mental note of where he’s trying to go before leading him in the right direction. 

“Have you ever used google maps before?” you laugh teasingly, watching as the direction changes and the walk time gets shorter. “you were going in the complete opposite direction”

Jack chuckles, “my bad” 

The walk is silent for a minute, before Jack starts questioning you. “So… Do you usually take walks with strangers?”

“You're not a stranger, I met you like two days ago” you joke, knowing full well it's probably not wise to walk the streets with a man you've only ever spoken a few sentences to. 

Jack nods, and when you glance in his direction you see the hint of a smile grace his lips. “So, have you lived here long?” Jack asked at a stoplight. 

“I’ve lived in Manhattan for a year now. I did an internship last year for journalism and then they hired me” you explain as the walking light turns on and you both cross the street. “What about you? How long have you been in jersey?”

“I live in Jersey for the hockey season. I've been in Jersey for 4 years now? I think?” Jack speaks, stuffing his hands into the pocket of his NJD hoodie. “I grew up in Canada though, and I live in Michigan during the summers'' he explains.

“I’m from Denver, but I don't go visit much. I went to college here on the east coast and ended up staying through the summers to work” you speak, surprised at how easy it is to talk to Jack.

“I didn’t go to school,” Jack blurts out, and you bring your arm up to try and disguise your giggles as a cough. Jack seems embarrassed by his small outburst and quickly clarifies, “like I was drafted and went straight to the nhl” 

“That must’ve been hard” you hum, and Jack quirks an eyebrow at you. “Like, having to be in the real world so soon”

“you moved on your own at 18”

“Yeah but I moved for school. You were straight into the pros. That must've been a lot of pressure” 

Jack doesn’t respond, but you can tell by the way he’s carrying himself that your words rang true. 

“Anyway,” you pick up the conversation. “I really like living here. Yeah my hours are kind of insane, and rent is beyond… but I really like the city” 

“I think i’d live here,” Jack replies as he surveys the mostly empty streets. “there's always so much to do”

You nod, getting ready to cross the next street. “Uh, where are you going?” you call out, as Jack starts walking down the wrong street.

“There's a pizza place!” he says simply, and you stare at him confusedly before he explains. “I’m going to a bar, I can't drink without eating something” Jack shrugs and you walk to where he paused. He points to the small 24 hour pizza shop he wants to go to, and you both walk inside. 

After you both order, and you're sitting at your table with your food, you start to question things. “So, why were you wandering the streets? How did you get here from Jersey?” you ask, blowing on your steaming pizza before you take a bite. 

Jack mirrors you, taking a bite before he answers. “My friends and I all came together. They went out for dinner first but there was this shop I wanted to check out, they’ve got sick shoes, anyway that's not the point. they dropped me off at the store and so my plan was to just walk and meet up with them after but I… well got lost” 

You and Jack continue talking, time completely slipping by both of your minds as you let the conversation flow. You learnt that Jack did in fact like to read, and you made sure to give him a few recommendations before you both parted ways. 

“Do you want your jacket back?” you ask, already starting to shrug out of the warm material. 

He holds up a hand to stop you, “No you should wear it its cold-”

“I'm just walking back to my apartment I should be fine,” you say, shimmying your shoulder and letting the sleeve fall from your arm.

“Do you want me to walk with you?” Jack's question stuns you. 

“Aren’t you supposed to meet up with your friends?”

Jack only shrugs, “it’s only like 12 i’ve got plenty of time to catch up with them”

You nod slowly as you readjust Jack's coat on your body. 

“Plus, wouldn’t want you to take up any other stranger if they ask for directions” Jack jokes, “might make me jealous” 

You knew his comment was supposed to be a joke but… butterflies. Literal butterflies. 

Fifteen minutes later and you were outside of your apartment building. 

“Thank you” you say, “for the pizza and for letting me wear your jacket” 

Jack smiles at you brightly, and you couldn't help but smile back at him. It was like a natural reaction. 

“Thank you for taking me to where I needed to go,” Jack takes his turn in thanking you.

“But I didn't..” 

“It's the thought that counts” Jack grins as he pulls out his phone. “But, since you didn’t walk me to where i was going… i’ll accept your number as an apology”

“Apology?” you laughed, placing a hand over your heart and pretending to be shocked by his words. “If I recall you were the one who wanted to stop for pizza and to walk me home” 

“You're right, you're right,” Jack says, holding his hands up in mock surrender. 

“But I will give you my number,” you say, holding your hand out to accept Jack's phone. When you pass his phone back, your contact fresh in his list, Jack beams. 

“I’ll call you!” Jack yells out as he starts walking down the street. 

“How about you text me when you make it to the bar!” you shout back. “And by the way! You're going in the wrong direction!” you shout again, and Jack sighs loudly. He dramatically turns around before walking your way again. 

Before he has the time to say anything more, you give him a few directions so he doesn’t get anymore lost. 

Less than 30 minutes later, while finishing up your skincare routine, your phone lights up with a notification. 

Jack H: I made it! Thanks for tonight and for the directions

You went to sleep that night with a smile plastered onto your face.

⋆ ★

After that first “date” you and Jack routinely made plans to hang out. It started off with Jack texting you whenever he happened to be in the city, which then translated to you inviting him to all the new places in town you wanted to try. 

“I don't know how I feel about that,” Jack speaks in between spoonfuls of his ice cream. You two had just gotten out of an exhibit, something about ancient rome. 

“What? You never think about the roman empire?” you retort, thinking about Jack's interview that was posted earlier in the year. Jack rolled his eyes at you, but he smiled nonetheless. 

“Like, how do they even have all that stuff? It's been so long” 

“Yeah.. the armour was cool though,” you respond, shuffling across the crosswalk with Jack trailing after you. 

There’s a brief pause as you walk up White Street towards the little italian restaurant Jack wanted to stop at. 

“So, I was looking online and there’s this new exhibition popping up soon. Something about the elements and sensors… I don't know, it looked cool” Jack breaks the silence, and you have to bite back your smile. He was looking up exhibits for the two of you to go to? Last week he was talking about how much he didn't understand modern art!

“Since when are you interested in the arts?” you tease, knocking your shoulder against Jacks playfully. He looks down at you, eyes crinkled as he smiles. 

“It’s something to do,” Jack shrugs, “plus, let's not lie here! You’d love to hang out with me more,” Jack laughs teasingly, but you can sense the hope that lies beneath his words. 

“I’d love to hang out with you” your hand brushed against Jack without your knowledge. Your hand feels like it's on fire from the small contact. 

“It's a date then!” Jack cheers, grabbing ahold of your hand to steer you in the right direction. You could only hope he meant a real date. 

⋆ ★

The exhibit was great, but your time with Jack was even better. He always found ways to make even the most mundane things light up with colour. By the end of the night, you were positive that if you didn't ask Jack out on an official date, you’d lose your mind. 

Jack, ever the gentlemen, walked you up all 6 floors of your apartment. “I had a lot of fun tonight,” you say as soon as you reach your front door. 

Jack nods, easily agreeing with you. “I think i’m a changed man, that art thing was so cool” 

You laughed lightly, leaning against your door as you watched Jack ruffle his hair with his hand. “My turn to pick the activity next time?” you ask. 

“Yeah but no more ancient rome things” Jack easily jokes. 

“How about something more…” you hedge, unsure of how to ask Jack out. Of course you’ve asked him to go out places before but… this was very different. 

Jack leans against the staircase railing, tilting his head signalling for you to continue.

“Like…” you contine, all words escaping you as your attention is suddenly caught to the sight of his bare arms.

“A date?” Jack prompts, smirking as he catches you staring at him. 

Upon hearing the word date you're immediately crashing back to reality. Your hearts beating wildly, something you hadn’t felt since the early days of university. 

You nod, “yeah, yeah.. Like a date” you shake your head to clear it, and when you meet Jack's eyes he beams. 

“I’ll be waiting for you to text me the location then…” Jack's voice trails as he walks closer to you, leaning in as he presses a quick kiss to your check.

You stand there momentarily stunned, watching as he slowly walks backwards to the top of your floor's staircase. “I’ll see you on our date?” Jack calls out, and you mirror his bright smile. 

“I’ll see you on our date!” you call back, watching as Jack starts walking down the stairs. 

you were falling hard. 

⋆ ★

The big date came and went, and you and Jack continued dating silently. It was nice just being with him, away from all the pressures of his fans and his large social media presence. You had a small private account, so you would post some pictures on there, but you never officially went “public” with your relationship. 

Ynuser

Liked by jackhughes, claudia, and others

Ynuser 🫒

Tagged: jackhughes

That didnt mean there weren’t close calls though. With Jack being extremely popular, there were a few times when the two of you were photographed out by fans. 

After the first incident, you thought nothing of it. Of course someone would see you guys eventually. Although you weren’t sure how you felt about being photographed by random people out in public… Jack was always quick to reassure you that people would eventually forget about the photos. 

It wasn’t the forgetting you were worried about though. After being with Jack for a few months, your twitter feed started recommending you hockey content. Which was fine at first, until you saw all the speculations of yours and Jack's relationship.

You muted all the hockey terms you could think of on your twitter account… but that didn’t stop you from thinking of all those accounts words. Was it true that you weren’t Jack's type? Is that why he wasn’t posting you on his social media accounts? Did he actually prefer going to small coffee shops and art exhibitions? Or was he trying to hide you from the outside world? 

Even though you knew you liked your relationship being private… Was there an ulterior motive on Jack's end? Did he not find you pretty enough to post on main? You started to spiral.

 

⋆ ★

The bar was much more crowded than you would've liked, but when your boyfriend invited you out you easily agreed. 

You sat in the corner of the booth all night, sipping on your vodka sodas and listening in on the conversation around you. The devils were doing good so far this season, and as a result, Jack had decided it was time to drag you out with him to the bar. You wished he hadn’t.

It’s not like you were an insecure person… (that was somewhat a lie), but when every girl was gorgeous and hitting on your boyfriend… it made you doubt things.

You watched all night as Jack looked at other girls, and your spiralling started to feel a lot more real. 

“Who is she?” you screamed, tears streaming down your face as your boyfriend of two years stared at you in shock.

“Baby, she doesn’t mean anything to me! I swear! It's you who-”

“When was the last time you slept together?” you shouted, your boyfriend winced at your biting words. 

“Last weekend…” your boyfriend finally admitted the truth. You had your suspicions that he was cheating on you for weeks now… and each time you brought it up he convinced you that you were crazy. “But baby!” his voice was frantic as you grabbed your bag and started shoving things into it. 

Your eyes were wild as you stared into the eyes of the boy that you had loved. When he had nothing else to say, you zipped up your bag and left. Your chest arched and your heart burned… you promised that you would never let yourself get cheated on again. 

A blonde touches Jack's arm. You know this because you're watching it happen, right in front of your eyes. You swig your now warm soda, blinking hard to will away the tears. 

You look away from the sight, causing you to miss the way Jack's eyes immediately try to seek yours after he brushes the girl away. 

The drive to your apartment was quiet. 

“Baby, what's wrong?” Jack asks, and despite how much you want to call him out, you feel juvenile about it. 

“Nothing,” you sigh, shifting in your seat so that you can look at Jack. He looks at you tenderly, as if whatever mysterious thing that's hurting you is hurting him too. 

“You can tell me anything, you know that right?” Jack speaks up again a minute later, this time his eyes are trained on the road. 

“I know,” you whisper. “I’m just tired. Work was busy today”

Jack hummed in response, and that was the end of the conversation. As usual, he walked you up to your apartment, and then you kissed him goodbye. 

When he left you stayed up in bed and questioned everything. You knew you were being insecure, but were you paranoid too? You didn’t want to be hurt again and you were fearful that you would be cheated on again. It was irrational, you knew. But your ex was always being hit on and he took one of the girls up on… no. You wouldn’t let that man ruin anything else in your life. 

Everythings fine… you whisper to yourself, and soon enough you fall asleep.

⋆ ★

Things got worse from then on. Whenever Jack was gone on roadies you would read through every comment you could find about Jack’s types, his ex gfs, anything that you could find. You couldn’t help but compare yourself to them. It was like some cruel, sick addiction that you needed to keep up with. 

user82

Liked by jackhughes, and others

user82 recently… ☁️

“She's just a friend! What are you talking about?” Jack was immediately defensive when you brought up his liking habits.

“Listen, I’m not trying to be some insecure girlfriend but-”

“You are insecure!” Jack's voice is loud and his words slice through you like swords. 

Your eyes immediately start to water, “baby, I didn’t mean it” Jack rushes to your side, hand on your shoulder as he tries to get a good look at you. 

“I’m sorry…” you cry, your hands coming up to shield your face away from him. 

“No, I'm sorry. You're not insecure you’re right” Jack tries to soothe you but your mind goes numb. 

Baby, she doesn’t mean anything to me! But baby! baby, I didn’t mean it…

You let Jack drag you over to the couch, where you spend the rest of the night cuddling and watching some movie that was really just static noise. 

Your chest aches and your heart burns, but you knew that Jack was right. You were insecure. You didn't think you were as pretty as the girls who wanted him, and now you certainly didn’t think you were deserving of an instagram post. 

Baby, she doesn’t mean anything to me! But baby! baby, I didn’t mean it…

Baby, she doesn’t mean anything to me! But baby! baby, I didn’t mean it…

Baby, she doesn’t mean anything to me! But baby! baby, I didn’t mean it…

⋆ ★

After that night, you tried to distance yourself from Jack Hughes. When he was on roadies, you would take extra long to reply to his texts. You were also suddenly picking up more hours at work, volunteering to cover stories nobody wanted to cover. 

On the other side of things, Jack was confused. He had thought after his apologies that everything would be fine? He thought you needed space, so he gave you plenty. But now it seemed like the two of you weren’t even together anymore. 

“Dude, just talk to her” Trevor's voice was somehow still loud over the phone. 

“Yeah but she wants space” Jack sighed, as if Trevor had no idea how girls worked. 

“Okay… and did she tell you that?”

“I can tell” 

Trevor shuffled on the other end of the line. “Okay Jack, listen. You guys have been together what? A year now? You can’t just throw away your whole relationship because she may or may not be a little insecure. Why don't you talk to her? Like actually sit and figure this out” 

For the first time, Jack thought, Trevor was making some sense.

“I want to be with you! Do you want to be with me?” Jack's voice was unintentionally rough and loud as he questioned you. 

“Of course I want to be with you!” your voice is just as loud. 

“Then what's the big deal!” Jack is visibly annoyed as if you're some person that's wasting his time.   

“Well, don’t like other girls' instagram posts and stare at models in public!” you retort, crossing your arms childishly. Jack throws his hands up in the air, sighing loudly. 

“I like you, what don't you understand?” Jack enunciates each word loudly and waves his hands around wildly in some effort to make his point clear.

“Why can't you understand that I just need some reassurance!” you cry out, completely worn out by this conversation. 

“Reassurance? I’m not going to cheat on you! Why do you think so low of me?” Jack pauses, seeming to connect the dots in his head. “Oh. this is about him” Jacks voice turns cold and you feel the oncoming sting in your throat. 

“Just because you’ve been cheated on before doesn’t mean that it's going to happen again.” your cheeks felt wet. Were you crying? 

“I don't think you’re going to cheat on me” you whisper, arms wrapping around yourself in a bad attempt at trying to calm yourself down. 

Jack stands still, staring at you with glaring eyes. 

“I just want… I want…” you can't even finish your sentence. You didn’t know what you wanted. You just felt so bad about yourself. 

Jack stares, nodding his head in exasperation as he watches you cry. “Yeah, well, when you figure that out call me” 

“Jack please,” you call to him through tears, following him down your hallway as you watch him walk away. 

You never called. 

⋆ ★

A month went by, and you felt the breakup in every aspect of your life. Work reminded you of that first day with Jack. Your apartment reminded you of all the times he would walk you home… you missed him. 

“We’re going out tonight! Enough being sad” your coworker, Claudia, exclaimed as she walked into your apartment. She was holding a saks bag, no doubt filled to the brim with outfit options for the night ahead. 

“I’m not feeling it” you mumble, eyes immediately finding focus on your tv screen. 

“It's been a month yn.. If you don't go out now, you're never going to” Claudia's voice is soft. She sets the bag of clothes beside you on the couch, and she silent starts showing you your options. 

“That ones cute” your voice is muffled but Claudia hears you anyway. 

“Perfect!” She smiles, setting your choice to the side and pulling out a plastic bag full of accessories. 

You felt ridiculous. You were wearing heels much too small, and your dress was way too tight. The drinks though… definitely hit the spot. And after a while, you didn’t think of Jack at all. 

“I’m having so  much fun!” your words were slurred as you slung one of your arms around Claudia's shoulder. She smiled happily at you, tipsily swaying your hips so you were both dancing to the beat of the music that was blasting throughout the club. 

“Is that…?” Claudia starts but then abruptly stops, almost as if she had seen a ghost. 

“Is that what!” you shout cheerfully, spinning yourself and Claudia around so that you could see what she saw. 

“Y/n don't!” Claudia tries to reposition you but it is too late. 

In the middle of the dance floor stood Jack Hughes, your Jack Hughes, and some girl that looked oddly familiar. As if sensing your gaze, the girl turned. It was the girl from instagram. 

“I’m going to be sick!” you moaned, hand covering your mouth as Claudia quickly rushes you outside of the club. Luckily, the two of you make it outside rather quickly, and then you're heaving onto the streets of New York. 

“I am so sorry! I had no idea that he’d be here!” Claudia speaks apologetically, holding your hair out of your face as you continue dry heaving. 

“He's with.. Oh my god” you emptied out what must've been everything in your stomach. “Claudia, he's with her!” you cried, drunkenly leaning into your friends side. Claudia grabbed hold of you, walking you down the street so that the two of you could hail a cab. “I know, i’m so sorry”

Once you were situated in the cab, you leaned your head against the window and closed your eyes. You pictured the look on Jack’s face when he saw you. Surprise, then shock, was it regret next? You weren’t sure. Then you imagined the girl he was with. Pretty, and perfect, and you wanted to cry all over again. 

“I'm blocking him!” you slurred, pulling out your phone and heading straight to your contacts. Claudia nodded along, concern etched in every feature on her face. 

Your hand hovers over the block button. “No! I’m deleting him! He's done. I don't ever want to talk to him again!” you cry, ignoring the cab driver's face as he looks on in disapproval.

“Do what will make you feel better hun,” Claudia speaks to you softly, giving you the courage to block and delete Jack from your phone and life. 

⋆ ★

After that night, you were steadily getting sick. You thought nothing of it at first, chalking up all your symptoms to stress and your recent breakup. It wasn’t until you checked your email that your world stopped spinning. 

Amazon: Upcoming Delivery

Hi Yn Ln,

This confirms your purchase from Tampax

Your visa has not been charged yet - we’ll email you when it has been charged.

Thank you for using Amazon Pay.

Your phone fell to the ground with a large thud, and you ran to your kitchen to check your calendar. You flipped through the pages, looking for the little red dots that signified the days that you had gotten your period. You flipped through the months. February

January

December

You couldn’t think as you stuffed your feet into your ugg boots. You put your jacket on while you half-ran down the stairs, and if it weren’t for the man on the 3rd floor grabbing your arm to steady you, you would've crashed down the remaining flights. 

Your nearest bodega was only one block away, and when you got there a minute later, panting and trying to catch your breath, reality had finally set in. 

Your breathing was laboured and loud as you came to a stop in front of the pregnancy tests. How was this your life? 

You bought one of every kind, and you tried to ignore the burning gaze of the cashier who rang all your items through. 

“That’ll be $65.24” 

It seemed like less than a minute later you were back in your apartment. All of your surroundings blur into nothingness as you pull the tests out of your coat jacket. 

You stumble into your bathroom, slam the door shut behind you, and peel off your leggings. 

You decide to take all the tests at once, leaving only two for backups in case you did something wrong. The last test shook violently in your hand, and only then did you realize that you were crying. 

Positive

Pregnant

+

Two lines

⋆ ★

The first thing you had done when you found out you were pregnant last night was block Jack Hughes. He was the only person you had slept with in the past 3 months, and in your frustration you blamed him. Your relationship was over with, he had moved on, and now you were pregnant? Life was cruel. 

After a long debate, a night full of crying, and an afternoon of rest and relaxation… you decided it was best that you told Jack about the pregnancy. 

You type in Jack's contact: a nickname, two white hearts and a sword emoji that represented something you couldn’t quite recall in your panic induced state. When his nickname showed no results, you hit the backspace button and typed in his full name, which you assumed you might have switched to when you saw him out with another girl. 

No result. 

You dropped your phone into the sink with a loud clatter. 

fuck. 

That night's events replayed in your mind like a bad film. You had blocked and deleted Jack's contact. 

You wipe the tears from your eyes with the back of your hand, breathing in deeply as you reach into the sink and pick up your phone. Everythings fine… you have him on instagram. You can just message him there. 

jackhughes

unblock

Life truly was cruel, you thought, sobs racking your body as you let yourself slide onto your bathroom floor. 

You unblocked Jack, only to find that his follow was removed. 

It's fine… you reassured yourself as you hit the unblock button and started drafting your message. He’ll see it. He has too. 

⋆ ★

You checked to see if he had seen the dm the next morning, and to your surprise, you were blocked.

Tears immediately started blurring your vision and you couldn't help but cry out in pain. 

What the fuck were you going to do.

[winterarmyy]

Welcome Home... Soldat? | Part II

That time when Bucky accidentally relapsed into the Winter Soldier.

Navigation: Part I || Part II* || Part III (end) || Extra

Words: 4.2k++ (of fluff and filth)

Pairing: winter soldier!bucky x female!reader

Warnings: 18+ content, smut, no minors allowed, nsfw, dub con, fingering, pussyjob, thighjob, soldat being manipulative yet maintains to be so loving at the same time, another round of google translated russian, filthy praises, soldat just want to make you feel good, wet & messy everywhere, loud & whiny soldat, and at the end of the day, despite the manipulation, the soldat just want take care of you.

A/N: omfg 1k++ notes from the previous chapter?! i didn't think this would get so much attention that it had, tbh. Like wtf. What did I do to deserve this 😭 Thank you so much for your support! I can't even begin to tell you guys how much joy y'all bring me. So, I decided write more of our soft soldat for all of us cause let's be honest, we need him so bad. It's gonna be 3 part mini series. I hope you enjoy!

Read my other works here: Masterlist

The darkness in his sight seemed permenant, at least until it transitioned into a dim-litted scenery. He recognized softness of the bed, and the blank white color of the ceiling.

He was in his room.

But, when he realized the emptiness of his bed, it was as if a force jolted through his body, yanking his lying figure into a sitting position. The dead silent was broken by the sound of his gasping breaths, followed closely by the beats of his pounding heart.

"Родная (darling)?" His voice shivered in his shaky breath.

When the silent replied his call, cold sweat drenched the roots of his hair. He almost jumped into a defensive position when the door of the walk-in wardrobe seemingly opened on its own.

But to his relief, her voice broke the silence, "Soldat?" Y/N peeped out her head when she heard his voice but the moment she saw the panic in his blue eyes, she quickly made her way towards him.

As soon as she was standing near enough, the soldat pulled her into a crushing hug, rubbing his face into her stomach a relief washed over him. Y/N ran her hands through his hair as she coaxed, "I'm here, I'm here."

He hummed in reply, "You're here." He repeated as a sigh escaped his lips.

Y/N didn't know why she expected that Bucky would be back after their "sleepover" but it was a shock for her when she woke up that morning with several tender kisses on her face by the soldat, who was very much still present.

"So, you're saying he's is not the winter soldier?" Sam cocked his head to the side as he tried to wrap up the overwhelming information thrown by Shuri.

The woman rolled her eyes, "No, I didn't say that. I said, he is not fully relapsed into the winter soldier." She reclarified.

"How was this possible? I thought he was gone?" Y/N asked as her worried gaze glanced over Bucky's unmoving figure in the examination pod.

Shuri sighed as she approached her, they watched Bucky's peaceful features resting through the glass, "We only remove the trigger that were attached to a switch to activating the winter soldier from Bucky; the soldat was never gone."

Y/N's eyebrows creased as the wakandan continued to explain, "It's like removing the toggle from a light switch; you can't turn it on just like that. But if, let say we use a toothpick to poke through the hole and trigger the switch, then..."

Steve intercepted her words before she could finish, "...then it'll be turned on." The woman nodded, "Precisely."

"That does not explain why Bucky is partially... not himself." Tony quickly probed as he casually threw a red M&M's into his mouth.

Steve paced back and forth in the room as he tried to replay the day of the incident, "Maybe it has to do something in that Hydra base that we raided. Bucky did look troubled on the jet home, then when we arrived he suddenly went berserk, looking for something; well... someone". He stopped as he threw a knowing look to Y/N.

"Yeah, why he is suddenly acting lovey dovey with y/n if the soldier was triggered? I don't get it." Sam crossed his arms against his chest as he questioned.

A smile almost cracked on Shuri's lips when they mentioned that, "This is just a hypothesis; but I reckoned that Bucky knew that the soldier is slowly taking over his mind and he didn't want to let himself vulnerable, exposed for people to give him orders."

Shuri leaned her back towards the table as she continued, "So instead, he latched himself on something else, to act as his mission. Some kind of desire that's buried as deep as where his winter soldier persona was concealed."

"So, you're saying that grumpy old man's deepest, darkest desire is to suffocate y/n with kisses and cuddles?" Tony quirked his eyebrow as he chewed on the sweet chocolate snack; there was certainly sarcasm in his voice.

Y/N intictively took the nearest object within her reach, which turns out to be a thick manual book, and struck Tony on his arms. The man repulsed with a confused frown on his forehead, mouthing a soundless, "What?"

Y/N mouthed back, "Shut up!" while Sam chuckled amusingly at the silent banter between them.

Ignoring the back and forth between Y/N and Tony, Shuri answered, "Well, those urges are derived by a certain key emotion, which I'm sure put you that genius title of yours into a good use, then you should've known the answer already."

"Love." Steve's revelation cuts through before Tony could throw his banter at Shuri, "He loves y/n." He repeated his words as if all of this made absolute sense.

Which only made Y/N stop on her tracks, "He loves me?" she questioned herself but everyone in the lab can practically see the confusion on her face.

Shuri agreed to Steve's deduction, "Yes, perhaps. I supposed that is why he is protective over her and like he said, wanted to suffocate her with kisses and cuddles." Shuri pointed at Tony as she return his sarcasm.

"Wait wait wait." Y/N held her hands forward as she stepped in the middle of the conversation, "Why are we casually agreeing to that as if it's normal? I mean, I know I'm not a genius but that is absolutely ridiculous. Bucky doesn't love me, as a friend maybe, yeah, but not like that." She couldn't help but to blush as she recalled the way the soldat hands and lips mapped on her skin.

"Yes, you are absolutely not a genius, especially when you are one of the two idiots who's in love with each other." Tony casually laid out the fact as everybody in the lab nodded in agreement, including Steve who she thought would back her up.

Y/N shook her head in denial and revert the conversation back to its original destination, "So, how do we get Bucky back?"

Shuri opened the terminal screen as she watched the progress of her observation, "Well, we're still figuring that out." Y/N's shoulders slumped in defeat.

"But what I can say is, it is best to let him stick with y/n for now." Shuri concluded.

They took the whole day running tests on the soldat, which he obediently cooperate as long as Y/N was there to hold his hand.

Between resting for breakfast, lunch and snack break; the soldat spend his time to be forced to put to sleep and out of it through out the day.

Right after dinner, and the final test run, he was just left to sleep off the rest of the night and Y/N finally had time to prep herself to sleep, when she heard Bucky's voice from the bed.

"Just finished showering. Hope you don't mind me wearing your shirt, they kinda lock me in here." Y/N frowned when she thought back on how the team managed to bring most of her things over but then forgot to pack her signature iron man pyjamas.

A fond smile curved on the soldat's lips as his gaze raked over her small body wrapped in his baggy shirt, which fell right at the middle of her naked thighs.

Y/N swore that there saw a flash of Bucky in his gleaming eyes. Or maybe she was just being delusional at this point.

She let him pulled her by the hand as he slowly brought her towards him. In no time, he had them both on the comfy matteress with soldat's back propped up against the headboard, while his arms found their place around Y/N's waist, cocooning her in between his legs.

It amazes her to think how comfortable she was, being this intimately close to him; when Bucky would've been too cautious to even approach her platonically.

So she decided rather than being constantly hesitant around the soldat, she thought that she might as well just enjoy the moment as it presented itself.

Y/N's exploring eyes stopped to the side of the bed when she saw a book next to the night lamp. She reached her hand as she leaned closer.

"Prince Caspian." She whispered to herself as her fingertips grazed across the title, "The Chronicles of Narnia, huh?"

It makes sense that Bucky would be interested to read this series, knowing his quirky yet undying brag about having the experience of reading The Hobbit back when it first came out.

Y/N couldn't help but to smile to herself, especially when her train of thoughts stopped at those memories of him.

She lifted the book towards the soldat, "What do you think, Soldat? Want me to read it to you?" She asked as the soldat rested his chin on her shoulder, peering at the deep blue, hard covered book.

He briefly hummed before replying, "Yes, please." The soldat loved the idea of being able to hear more of his darling's beautiful voice. It was his favourite thing in the whole world. Well, one of the things but surely all them were involving her.

Y/N settled herself as she leaned back against his sturdy chest. One of her legs were bent up towards her chest while the other was lazily thrown over his, spreading them as far as they could go.

The soldat placed light kisses on the back of her head all the way to the side of her neck, relishing at how soft her skin was and how good she smelled. The quiet of the room only enhanced the presence of her calming voice, luring him to close his eyes as he drowned himself the melody of it.

Minutes gone by and it was passing the half hour mark.

It wasn't that the soldat find the story boring or her voice drowsying, but he was feeling rather needy, almost greedy, to have more of Y/N to the point that he got slightly distracted.

She had been such a darling to him ever since he came home; fed him, letting him touch her, kiss her, pamper her, held her hand during those long lab tests, having her in his arms through the night and against his nightmare, and making him feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside.

And yet, she didn't get anything in return.

His darling deserved to feel good and he wanted to give it to her so badly that he was getting distracted from the story that she was passionately reading for him.

Soldat's hands carefully explored her body, from the side of her waist then slowly down to her naked thighs. Too engrossed with the plot, she almost instinctively opened her legs wider for him. Though she never intended to do so, her actions surely were quite sinful.

He used the opportunity to glide his metal hand deeper into her inner thighs, lightly caressing up higher towards where her thighs meet, until the tip of it brushed over her core.

Now that's when she realized the situation, her head shoot up to face him. The book in her hand almost thrown to the side as she reached to grab his, gripping it tightly as she tried to pull him away.

Failing to stop him, she whispered "W-what are you doing?" She stuttered as she felt his fingers slide across her clothed pussy.

Soldat looked down at the smaller, "Wanna make you feel good, мое Родная (my darling)" he innocently whispered back as his dangerous fingers provoked her.

When her silence remained, the soldat lifted the corner of his eyebrow in curiosity. Was she hesitating? He sees it as an opportunity to coax her to his will.

He cooed softly when he explained, "You deserve it, darling. Deserve it so much. Please, let me?" He sounded so desperate when he begs like that.

It feels like her whole body was burning, his touch were igniting flames wherever he drags his fingers. She knew it was wrong to feel like this, but she couldn't help it.

Oh, how his fingers works wonders even with the thin fabric were blocking his access.

Y/N bit her lower lip as she looked down to her thighs. The way she was grabbing onto his hands as he moved around; it looked like she was guiding him to touch her more.

The soldat knew she was close to be tempted to submit, "I promise it'll feel good. So good." he almost growled in her ears as he saw patch of the dampness started to appear on the center her panties.

"Don't." she whispered quietly, but that only made the soldat to futher seduce her as he add more pressure on his middle finger.

She hesitated for a while before she slurred "D-don't stop." her head thrown back into his neck, finally giving in to his promise of pleasure.

Lust took over the soldat, "Gonna make you feel so good, Родная (darling). Promise gonna treat your pretty pussy right. Make her cum so hard." He whispered lovingly as his breath sends shivers down her spine.

The soldat groaned, dropping his head to her neck to press open mouthed kisses on her untainted skin as he slipped his hand into her panties.

"Already wet for me?" He chuckled, biting his lip before his long finger slid between her folds.

"Hmmm." she tried to suppressed her voice as his finger moved up and down so deliciously.

"Of course," He said with a smile. He went on to tease her sensitive clit with slow, torturous circles, which force her to close her eyes, biting down on her lip to suppress a shrill moan.

"Родная (darling)," the soldat cooed. "You can scream as loud as you want. Let me hear those pretty noises, yeah?"

Y/N thought to reply but her own breath hitches when that one finger that has been circling her hole finally dips in, proceeding to spread her open for more.

She moaned louder this time, "Soldat..." The movement was completely involuntary; when her hand latch on to hold his wrist as her thighs try to squeeze shut at the feeling of him pressing another finger into her wet stretching cunt.

But, of course he was quick to spread her legs back open, preventing her to shy away.

"p-please soldat, ahh." She mewled, scratching the metal of his arm.

The soldat nibbled on the shape of her ears as he hushed, "There, there darling. Open up for me." His two long, metal fingers thrusts and rubs the inside of her pulsating pussy, occasionally scissoring her cunt as he took her right hand into his fleshed one; intertwining her fingers with his.

Her other hand scrambled to dug into his thigh as she arched her back, grinding her hips down against his metal hand. The soldat smirked proudly at her reaction, moving his fingers a little faster, a little rougher. Just enough to make her whine and move against him in search of more stimulation.

She cried out as his thumb circled her clit, "Ahhh fuck" she moaned shamelessly, while his eyes followed each jerk of her body as if he was memorizing it all.

"Hmm, you're so wet, Родная (darling). So warm too." The soldat hissed as he felt his hand were soaking by the minute. The muffled sound of his thrusts against her wet heat filled the room.

He looked down to her hidden pussy; his hand covered by the panties she was wearing, "Look down baby, open your eyes and look down." he lured her with low groan.

Completely loss in bliss, she complied without asking any question. Both the soldat and Y/N was looking at the same sight, the same shape of his hand clinging tight to the fabric, barely hidden under the thin layer of her panties, moving up and down; in and out of her pussy.

Somehow, watching the way it moves made her closer to her orgasm.

In one swift move, the soldat lifted her slightly to pull the barrier off by the waistband. An animalistic groan rumbled from deep within his chest, when he was completely revealed to the sinful sight of her naked pussy.

So wet and full with his fingers.

The soldat teasingly entered a third finger into her, stretching her out so good that she felt tears prick her eyes. Y/N's head snapped forward along with a buck of her hips. "S-soldat,, ahhhh" Her whines grew louder than before and she felt the flame in her stomach growing yet it wasn’t enough.

"Look at you. Look how well you're taking me. My darling is such a good girl, isn't she?" The soldat sounds sickeningly sweet when he murmured in her ears.

He pressed his thumb harder against her swollen clit, rubbing hard and fast circles as he pumped his fingers knuckle deep in and out of her cunt, causing her to gasp from the sensation.

He twisted and curled his fingers around to find that delicious spot inside of her, giving that delicious friction as he fucked her open. The noises coming from her pussy were so lewd, so crude and it only spurred him on.

"Sounds so perfect, Родная (darling). These pretty noises from your lips up here." The soldat murmured as he kissed the corner of her lips, "and down here." his fingers pumped faster, curling over and over again, creating the lewd squelching sounds of her juices leaking out.

Almost seeing stars, Y/N moaned desperately, "Cummin',, so good, 'm cumming." Oh, how sweet does her moans sounded in the soldat's ears.

"Already, Родная (darling)?" he groaned as he felt her hole pulsated, "But you need more, little one." He persuaded her edge a little more; but with the way he was fucking into her weeping pussy, she certainly wasn't able handle it anymore.

She whined needily as she shook her head, "Wanna cum now, please soldat ohh god please please please." She begged deliriously.

The soldat hummed as he worked his fingers up her hole, "Oh darling, you don't need to beg for it. You're so precious, I'd give you anything." He mumbled against her cheek as he kisses her, "Now, cum for me. Let me see you wet my bed, Родная (darling). Go on, cum."

All words die in the back of her throat when a he cooed at her. She threw her head back as a squeak of whine dies in her mouth; eyes squeezing shut, her body tensing as the soldat makes sure that she rides out the high for as long as she should.

"That's it darling, cum for your soldat. give it to me,, aahhh" He motioned, forming an 'O' with his mouth as she clamp down on his fingers; with his wide eyes looking down at her exposed pussy. Her orgasm gushed and flowed out onto his hand, dripping on the sheet as she quietly cry out in pleasure.

"So pretty," he praised, as his fingers kept pumping slowly in and out of her pussy, "So gorgeous, cumming so hard for me," he grunts in her ears as her high begins to settle.

He pull out his fingers, leaving her feeling empty for the sudden lost of touch. But that didn't last long when he proposed something else.

"One more time Родная (darling), with me." He moaned he sunk his metal hand into his pants and pull out his aching cock. The soldat tugs himself in his palm, rubbing the wetness on his hand around his length before settling it between her throbbing cunt.

Y/N didn't manage to let our her protest when he intercepted her, "Won't put it in, darling. Just..." his words linger as he squeezed her plush thighs together, engulfing his warm cock between them, "...wanna snuggle in between your thighs, Куколка (little one)."

"So keep them pressed together, okay?" the brunnete coaxed as his hands took a hold on her,  "Will you do that for me?" The soldat asked sweetly.

She gave a small nod of affirmation, looking down at where the soldat's hands squishing both side of her thighs. The feeling of his length throbbing, wet with her slick, had her squeezing her thighs together more.

"That's my sweet girl. Promise you, it'll feel so good, darling." He let out a pleasurable groan as his hips jerked all the way forward, his skin meeting the back of her thighs while the head of his cock was peeking out from the other side.

With a squeeze of her hips in his hands, that will definitely leave bruises afterwards, he started to grind her into him. Back and forth, for the few experimental thrusts. And the moment her pretty little moans started to spill, he knew she needed more.

"More?" he moaned lowly, rocking his hips mindlessly.

Y/N limped back against his chest, whimpering sweetly for him as her needy little cunt drools messily all over her thighs and his cock; effortlessly making the thrust of his length between her thighs even easier.

If she was already so sensitve from him fingers before, now it's just oversimulating for her, "Hmm,, s-soldat,, that feels s-so good," she slurred, eyes rolling back.

"Yeah?" he gloated as he grunts, "Are you gonna cum again, darling? Come on, sweet one, I want to feel it." The soldat almost whimpered as he felt the thudding beat of her cunt on the stroke of his cock.

Y/N simply nodded, mouth falling open. His cock works over her sweet little pussy, nudging the sensitive bundle of nerve as he urged her to orgasm alongside his own.

He watched the way she drag her nails into the flesh of his thighs, "There she is, come on. Let it out, darling. That's it. Hmmm." His chest rumbled a deep groan. It was such a turned on for the soldat, to see the sight of him humping her legs faster until her slick finally wetting her thighs and his cock, making a mess everywhere.

Even if she has reached her high, his thrusts didn't flatter as his own orgasm was still at the edge. "Ahh,, darling,, please-- c-can't stop,," The upperside of his cock harshly rubbed between her sloppy folds, the feeling of the creamy mess between her thighs, making him fucked her faster.

The soldat whined needily into her neck as he drag her tightness back and forth. "So good, don't wanna stop." he squirmed as his voice hitched into a needy whimper, letting his head fall back to the headboard, his disheveled hair hanging by his face, some of it sticking onto his sweaty skin.

The room echoed with the several sinful sounds; his whimpers, her mewls, their skins slapping, the bed creaking, the wetness squelching.

It was such a dream for the soldat, especially when her folds spread around his fat cock every time he rolled his hips forward. The sight was beyond compelling, addictive to a certain extend.

"S-soldat,, please i'm,,hmmm,, sensitive." She can feel how thighs burned from the friction, and her slit abused with pleasure.

The soldat leaned into her until his hot breath blew across her neck, "Just a little more, Родная (darling)? Please? Wanna cum around your soft thighs, between your pretty pussy. You'll let me, right sweet one? You'll let me make a mess all over you? Paint you with my cum. You'll look so gorgeous, Родная (darling)"

His filthy thoughts started to spill out uncontrollably, as his body trembled in pure pleasure. His heaving chest rested on her small back when he whimpered, almost forcing her on her knees, pushing her down the mattress.

He wanted that so bad.

Just fuck her thighs and folds while she's on all fours, abusing her body for his pleasure and maybe slot the tip of his cock inside that tight cunt just before he cum, give that greedy little cunt a taste of his load, but he rather than that the soldat hold back on his thought, because truthfully he very much wanted to make a mess all over her right now.

His mouth sucking on her neck, leaving another one of his mark on her skin; one of many between those shades of purples and reds.

"Cumming for you, darling." He moaned loudly, eyes locked between her thighs, as his leaking cockhead occasionally peeks out. "Have so much cum for you,, gonna cream all over these thighs" He groaned, clenching his teeth as his cock throbs.

She clenched tighter as a unexpected orgasm were coming fast, letting out a desperate squeal as she reach her high. He growled at the feeling of her gushing pussy, fucking their orgasm into a higher level ecstacy.

The rolls of his hips were flattering into a slower and and sensual tempo, as both of them watched his cock; the way it pulsed and throbbed wildly, before white spurts of his hot cum started gushing from the little slit.

The soldat trembled through his orgasm, mouth falling open as he moaned lewdly at the sight of her skin being painted by his seemingly endless amount of cum.

Y/N panted heavily as her lips hanged open; failed words just at the tips of her tongue, unable to be formed properly. It didn't take long for the drowsiness to cloud her eyes, caused by the aftershock of the pleasure.

"There, there." The soldat cooed breathlessly in her ear, "So pretty, darling." Pampering the mark on her skin with gentle kisses, "So good for me." He mumbled as he languidly thrusts his cock, stroking the sides of her thighs, memorizing the sight of their wet mess.

Her body felt so good and satisfied, and the lid of her eyes slowly flutter into a longer close. She didn't hear much of his praises as he as laid her down, especially when his voice going in and out of her ears, as she was fighting through the temptation of slumber.

But, her body absolutely remembered how soft his touches on her skin, and the warm of the wet cloth swiping on the burn of her inner thighs, carefully over her swollen cunt.

"Love you, my precious darling." She couldn't make up what he was whispering under his breath. But she remembered the soldat pulling her close to his chest as he laid her on top of him, and the sweet kiss on her forehead before complete darkness engulf her sight.

"Your soldat loves you so much."

<< Part I || Part III >>

Read my other works here: Masterlist

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[poisonousivy616]

𝕿𝖍𝖊 𝕱𝖎𝖗𝖘𝖙 𝕿𝖎𝖒𝖊 𝕴 𝕾𝖍𝖎𝖋𝖙𝖊𝖉 𝕽𝖊𝖆𝖑𝖎𝖙𝖎𝖊𝖘

ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ. 🐍🖤 ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ

☆𝔖𝔱𝔬𝔯𝔶𝔱𝔦𝔪𝔢☆

Hi babes!!♡

I've been meaning to sit down and write about this, and now that it's almost been a month, I think I'm finally ready to share it. On April 9th, 2025, during my final yoga session before moving cities, I shifted for the first time—fully, awake.

My yoga teacher is not only a licensed hypnotist but also an active shifter and shifts through hypnosis. I'd been asking her for tips here and there, and when I mentioned it was my last session with her, I asked if she'd be open to guiding me through hypnosis to see if I could shift that way. She agreed.

We started the session as usual—yoga first to relax the body, then meditation to quiet the mind. By the time I lay down for the hypnosis, I was deeply relaxed. She began counting up to twenty as I took slow, deep breaths, and then she asked me to envision a place where I might find myself.

Before we started, she gently reminded me not to be discouraged if I didn't successfully shift this time, but I confidently told her it would work because I've decided I'm shifting.

And that's when things stayed to change.

Normally, when I try shifting, I experience strong symptoms: white flashing lights, tingling limbs, spinning room sensations—basically my body screaming, "You're doing something." But this time? Nothing. Not a single symptom. And I think that's because I was already completely relaxed from the yoga and meditation. The usual "symptoms" are just the body entering a meditative state—not actual signs of shifting. This time, I didn't need them.

Instead, I blurrily started seeing something. It was a lake. My vision felt out of focus—like when your camera lens won't quire adjust—but the sensations came in first. I felt the warmth of the sun on my skin, the heat soaking into me. I could feel the texture of the grass between my fingers and toes. The blurry shapes started to sharpen. I heard birds chirping. I heard the gentle sound of the lake water lapping against the shore.

I looked down and saw myself in a while silky dress. It flowed softly around my body, light and airy. I didn't feel amazed or shocked. I just felt...at peace. Like this was my normal life. Like this was just another afternoon in my DR.

Here's the thing: this wasn't a DR I had scripted or planned for. This place came to me on its own. A space my subconscious had created, and it welcomed like I'd always belonged there.

After sitting beneath the tree for a few moments, soaking in the stillness, I stood and walked toward my house, which was only a few feet away. It looked like a palace—but made entirely of see-through glass. At the front entrance was a glass elevator. I stepped inside and saw thirteen glowing buttons. I pressed the one for the 11th floor. As the elevator ascended, I saw the lake growing smaller beneath me. I stepped out onto the terrace and took in the view one more time from above before walking inside.

The first room was huge. Floor-to-ceiling windows let in an endless stream of golden light. The walls were creamy, soft, and warm in color. Tall decorative pillars (like the ones you see in palaces—those grand marble columns) framed the space. And hanging on the walls were paintings.

One in particular caught my eye: a giant pink butterfly, glittering as if dusted with stars. It didn't look painted—it looked alive. I remembered, in that moment, I had painted it. These were my paintings. This was my art studio. There was a canvas in the middle of the room, half-finished, waiting for me to return to it. (My DR memories kicked in)

Then I saw movement by the window—a cat. Orange fur. Piercing green eyes. He stared directly at me, and the memory returned like a whisper: he was a stray I had taken in and named Reed, no idea why, just felt right.

I continued walking and found the staircase—made entirely of glass, but not just clear glass. The steps shimmered in all different colors like a rainbow when the light hit them. Climbing down, I saw mirrors along the walls of the stairwell. And when I looked into them, I froze for a second.

Because the face looking back at me wasn't the one I see in the CR.

I had long, curly hair, olive skin, hazel eyes. My features were different—but not unfamiliar. I didn't feel like a stranger. I looked like someone I had always been.

When I reached the ground floor, I saw a big white piano near the entrance. I instantly remembered—I played piano here and I was good at it. Like really good. It was something I loved and did often. (I guess in that reality I was very artistic and multitalented)

The rest of the space was open-plan—the living room, dining area, and kitchen all flowed in one beautiful, airy expanse. Everything looked clean, soft and light, but still had that romantic, old-world charm. Like an 1800s castle had been reimagined through a dream filter.

When I finished wandering the house, I stepped back outside, walked down to the lake again, and sat under the same tree. Surrounding me were white, yellow, and lilac flowers (I don't even know their names—but they were delicate and wild and beautiful). I leaned back, tilted my head toward the sky, and just let the sun kiss my skin.

And then—I started hearing her voice again, my yoga teacher, counting down to one. (She started counting again after 30 minutes)

I opened my eyes, and for a moment, I didn't recognize the room I was in. I sat up slowly, trying to ground myself in what felt like a completely different world. I looked around in silence for a few minutes before asking her how long it had been. She said a little over thirty minutes.

And even after that...it didn't fully register. Not right away. I didn't have the dramatic reaction I'd always imagined. I wasn't jumping or crying or screaming, "I did it!" Instead, I found myself quietly doing something later that night, and it just...hit me. "Oh. I shifted."

It was calm. Anticlimactic, even. But in the most beautiful way.

And honestly? That's the biggest thing I took from it. Shifting isn't supposed to feel theatrical or explosive. It's not always a fairytale moment. It's natural. It's literally just you existing in another state. It felt real because it was real. As real as me sitting here writing this post.

The more we obsess over symptoms or dramatize our DRs or put shifting on a pedestal, the more we disconnect from the truth: it's not fantasy. It's your mind going where it's always been capable of going. It's already part of you.

Shifting is the most magical experience—but in the quietest, most matter-of-fact way.

If you're interested in more spiritual storytimes like this—void state experiences, astral projection, lucid dreams, shared dreams, or even thought transmission—let me know. I have so many to tell, and I'd love to share more soon!!!

𝕷𝖔𝖛𝖊, 𝕴𝖛𝖞🖤💚

[babextoken]

⋆˚₊ show me what you are ⋆˚₊

enemies with benefits vessel x f!reader

summary: you despise your friend of a friend vessel, and he despises you. but you quickly learn you have more in common that you ever thought.

7.4k words

tags, head's up, etc: SMUT, soft sub!vessel, soft domme!reader, lots of antagonizing one another, enemies to lovers, established enemies, casual arrangement, making out, idiots in lust, sexting, masturbation (m + f), praise, dirty talk, pet names (puppy, mommy), cockwarming, cowgirl, pronebone, squirting

a/n: I'm nervous about this one. I've been working on this before I started feeling depressed and I just want it out on the world. Also, in the (paraphrased) words of @rat-that-writes "he could never hate me. I'm too hot."

You’re minding your business at a cafe when he comes in. You lock eyes like you normally do when you happen upon each other. Blank, dead eyes. Face so flat it’s not even a scowl. Sighs. Vessel. A friend of a friend of a roommate of a friend. And a thorn in your side. Ok yes he’s very smart…and witty…and talented…but it doesn’t make him any less arrogant and annoying to be around. You two run in the same circles but that doesn’t mean you hang out. You just exist, for better or for worse, in the same space. No one could understand why you and him didn’t get along. You two weren’t so similar that it was grating, but you also weren’t so different that you were unable to find common ground. But there was something in the way of you two connecting. Of feeling anything other than hate. 

You look back down at your book until you hear the chair across from you scrap across the floor and someone slump into it. 

“I need you.”

You take a deep breath and pinch the bridge of your nose. You look up at Vessel and notice he’s staring at you expectantly. 

“Say something,” he says somewhere between a plea and a demand. 

“What are you talking about…you ‘need’ me?”

He looks down. “Uhm, well, you see…”

“Ves…spit it out.” You’re trying to keep your voice down as more people come into the cafe. Why couldn’t you have had this conversation at the party you both attended the night before? 

“I…fuck. I have…needs and…”

“Oh Jesus Christ.” You roll your eyes and crack your neck. “It’s 10 am…”

“No, let me…finish. God. I…have needs and I don’t really…want to look far. To get them met. Do you understand? Uhm…I..”

Is he asking for…?

“Use your words.”

He doubles back a little and licks his lips. Why do his eyes look watery? “Yeah. Yeah I'll use my words. Uhm. I was wondering if you’d be interested in exploring something sort of…loose with me. No strings.”

You laugh out loud from shock. “Is this a sick joke?”

Oh his little heart breaks when you laugh. You can see it. His sweet face drops. “No…no oh my god. I would never joke about this. Look. Hear me out. I…hun I am desperate. I need to just…” he puts his hand to his forehead… “I need the companionship…and the release…but I don’t have it in me to look for a relationship. Not right now and perhaps never.”

This is the first time you’ve seen him vulnerable and quite frankly you could get used to it. There was something about his voice that was different. Calm. Normal. Sincere. But you still feel that pull towards aggression. Instigation. “And someone you actively despise and harrass is your top pick for a fuck buddy?”

“I know we argue a lot!” he barks back. You shift uncomfortably as a couple at a nearby table glare at you both. Vessel clears his throat and lowers his voice. “We don’t get along. And what I’m asking for is a bit much…maybe we just…pretend for a bit? Every once in a while?” He gulps and shakes his head. “I’m genuinely pathetic, I’m…I’m so sorry. I’m being a fucking knob.”

You cross your arms and consider what he’s saying. “So you’re asking to have some kind of…situationship with me…without ever trying to be nice to me first?”

He wipes his hand down his face and groans. “I…fuck it. Yeah I am. I am here groveling and asking you to sleep with me every so often so that maybe I don’t do my own head in. And, also, I just thought maybe…since you’re…pent up and shitty like me. Maybe you’d like to have some fun every once in a while? It would be mutually beneficial. Our mouths would be busy, eyes closed. Maybe we wouldn’t even know it was the other.”

You scoff. “What is that supposed to mean? Pent up…” you straighten in your seat. But you knew exactly what he meant. You were high strung a lot, and Vessel made an excellent target for your frustrations. How could two shit stirrers find any kind of solace with each other? But…you didn’t have any other prospects banging down the door (or you). You put your hands up in surrender. “Ok. Ok. I’ll bite. Yeah…fun would be nice…”

“Right…yeah, yeah. Because I get the impression it’s been a minute for you and…”

“Dude, come on!” You interrupt. 

“Look,” he shakes his head and looks away, “you’re a nice girl when you want to be. And maybe if this arrangement is with you…someone I don’t really see often or whatever…” he finally looks you in the eyes.

~

That next Friday you’re in his flat for the first time. You sit on the couch awkwardly as he brings you some water and plops beside you. Ves bites the inside of his cheek. No one has really made any moves but first times are always awkward right? No matter what was going to happen tonight, it would be a first of some sort. The first time you’re nice to each other. The first time you really touch each other. “You look pretty.” He says sheepishly. 

You look down at your baggy band tee and short yoga shorts. “Don’t lie to me.”

“My god just take the compliment. We’re here just trying to have a good time and…”

“Ok ok. Thank you…Ves…that’s sweet of you to say.”

He turns a bit more towards you, searching your face. His eyes trace your body head to toe as he tries to stifle a small smile. This was his idea and yet he still doesn’t want to show you how much he likes looking at you. Being around your pretty self. You suddenly start to feel nervous as he scoots closer to you. He curls his long legs up underneath him and gently touches your arm. You study his fingers like they’re some harmless little bugs before bringing your gaze back up to his face. He’s not ugly. No. You just never think about his looks because he’s so annoying to you. But here you both are, looking at each other in quiet fascination. Your breath hitches.

“Why me, Ves?”

“Why not you?” Vessel rolls his eyes and moves a little closer and puts his hand out tentatively near your thigh. You gulp, pulling his hand to rest on your smooth skin. His hand rubs gentle strokes against you and his breath deepens. “You feel so good. God.”

“Yeah?”

He bites his lip and looks at you so dreamily. You chuckle. The world stops for what feels like the hundredth time since you’ve gotten here. You feel your head spin a little as he looks at you with what you want to call “desire,” but how could you two ever feel anything other than disdain? Vessel clears his throat slightly. “You can back out…before everything changes…”

“Everything’s changed already, Ves.”

His hand moves up your thigh and squeezes, kneading your soft flesh. He hums contently when you move closer, nearly on his lap. You were wrong when you said everything had already changed. It actually changed the moment you two instinctively moved closer. Not a kiss, but a hug. At first it was tense. Like siblings being told to hug it out. But soon the awkwardness wasn’t the most distracting thing. It was how he felt to you. Sure he was lanky and toned, but he had a softness. A gentleness in how his arms pulled you close and enveloped you. It made you feel like the tiniest thing. And you could tell he enjoyed it and wanted to relax. As he loosened up, he held you closer. He breathed you in. You swear you could fall asleep until he drags cheek and nose up your neck…it reminded you of an animal scenting something. Or maybe he wanted your essence on him. He starts to speak in a barely there whisper and then clears his throat.

“May I, please, start kissing you?”

You gulp. The hug alone aroused you, and the thought of kissing him made you feel completely brainless. “Yeah,” you whisper thickly. 

Vessel places small, gentle kisses in the crook of your neck, taking his time and breathing deeply between each peck. His lips are naturally pouty and feel so soft on your skin. He lets his lower lip drag up to your jaw before placing a delicate kiss right by your earlobe. You would say you don’t know what to do with your hands but they move on instinct. One gently squeezes his waist as the other traces lazy patterns on the back of his neck. 

“I love how your nails feel on me,” he whispers. He sounds like a different person. He’s actually lost in you…and you would know because you’re lost in him. You let your hand drift up to his hairline where you begin to scratch his scalp. His head falls back; his eyes closed and lips slightly parted. You chuckle softly and move both hands to his hair. Eventually you’re in his lap but you’re hesitantly to really relax. “I’ve got you. Have a seat, love.”

You start to feel nervous and the nasty voice in your head that says you’re not worthy and perfect for this kind of situation gets louder. “Is it because I’m easy? Do you think I’m easy?” You blurt out. So many times you’ve been taken advantage of and it wouldn’t even surprise you if this was one of those times where you were in the right place and desperate. 

Vessel’s eyes open, and he looks at you completely lost. He leans forward and helps you cross your legs around his waist. “You… darling…are one of the most difficult people I’ve ever encountered. It must really mean something if you’re here…in my flat…nestled on my lap. And I’m grateful. Thank you.” He begins kissing your neck again but with more fervor this time. More need. Your back arches as his kisses become wetter and his hands knead your plush thighs and ass. It’s no use. You give in to instinct and gently move his face to yours but you both stop. Your noses touch but the realization starts to set in. As quickly as you came together, you’re pulling apart.

“This isn’t the move, is it?” You ask, getting off his lap and smoothing your hair back.

Vessel inhales and rubs his face, groaning. “No. It was a mistake. Besides, you gave me that look.”

“What look?!”

“Oh don’t play dumb. You know the look. The one where you watch me flounder when you could help me.”

You scoff and stand up. “Wow you’re catching on. That’s how I always look at you.” You start to walk towards the door when you turn back to him. He hasn’t left his seat on the couch and doesn’t seem to care to do so. You’re not quite sure what you’re feeling. Arousal, but also annoyance at how quickly the mood changed. Certainly it was Vessel that ruined it, right? You feel that familiar stirring. To project. To rile him up and tear him down. 

He stares back at you. “You’re as pathetic as me. Don’t forget that. You wanted this too. You probably still do.”

Him being both right and cruel about it ignites a white hot rage inside you. You want to scream at him

ask what you did to deserve this from him. To ask him why he makes himself so easy to hate. But instead, you leave. 

...

A week later you’ve kept your weird interaction with Vessel in the back of your head but until then, you couldn’t give two dicks. It was the weekend. And it wasn’t like you to be at a bar like this. Metalheads. The hottest, tiniest goth girlfriends you’d ever seen. You felt out of place but your friends said “noooo we should go! It’s something different to do.” So you put on little black dress and Dr Martens and said “fuck it.” And you were glad you did because a new environment also meant new guys…and to your surprise you actually got some positive attention. 

You found yourself chatting with a guy at the bar as you waited for your drink. He was friendly and handsome enough; you had the ugly thought that maybe he was one of those metalheads who had never actually spoken to a girl, but that was quickly forgotten when you started a thoughtful conversation about a series you both like. And it wasn’t one of those conversations where a nerdy guy dominates and info dumps and corrects you like a jackass. It’s just…enjoyable. He finally starts warming up to you a little and lets his hand graze yours, laughing at your reaction when a sludgier song comes on. You bite your lip and giggle a little, flirting with him saying, “maybe I need someone to help me appreciate metal a little more.” Your hands briefly touch again, and he leans a little closer…letting his free hand lightly touch your waist. You play coy and back up a little. It looks like he’s about to get his phone out before his eyes trail up and behind you. You’re wondering what he’s looking at until you feel a looming presence and a wide hand rub against your back and shoulder.

“There you are, gorgeous. I thought you’d forgotten about me.”

Your jaw clenches into a tight, fake smile. That accent. You look up at your uninvited guest.

“Hello, Ves. I’m sure I have no idea what you mean.”

The cute guy you were talking to looks confused and maybe a little sad. Fuck! You facepalm and groan as Vessel waves to him nonchalantly. “Heya…alright, mate?” His voice is dripping in sarcasm. 

Your brain scrambles. “He just means I’d been up here for so long I forgot about the friend group” you say trying to save face. “Not just him. Definitely not.” Vessel squeezes your hip in feigned affection which makes the guy tsk, roll his eyes, and walk away. “Wait, I’m serious,” but he’s already gone. You scoff, ready to pummel Vessel who was easily a head taller than you and more than capable of overpowering you if you tried. You actually liked that guy and thought something was there.

“What the fuck was that?” You ask, eyes shooting daggers into Ves. 

He snorts and shrugs. This is no big deal to him. “That guy was a loser.”

“So?! What do you care?”

“Oh come now, babes. You would have annoyed that bastard to death…he could have never kept up with you.” That shit eating grin. God you could just slap it right off of him. You know that he would leave you alone if you just…didn’t respond. Ignored him. But something kept telling you to egg him on. To react.

“You’re such a dick,” you say, rolling your eyes and walking away. You make it halfway across the bar when he grabs your arm. 

“HEY! I came over to talk to you. Don’t walk away from me.”

“Wow, and how inviting you seem right now! Sabotaging my night and grabbing me. Is this the only way you can get girls near you?”

His brows knit together and he stands closer to you…so much so you’re looking straight up. “Sabotage? Did you like him that much? If you really, really wanted to go home with him tonight then why are you here with me? Also…” he leans down to whisper, “I didn’t have to do much pulling and prodding to get to you mine last week.”

“What the fuck do you want” you sneer. But you find yourself wanting to stay put. The warmth radiating from his tall form. His cologne. The intensity of his gaze. Your attempt at a makeout session last week suddenly replayed in your head very loudly. You snap back to reality when Vessel huffs with a terse laugh and looks away. 

“I hate to say it but…I wanted to ask you something. Ask you…for something…again.” You search his face for understanding. He can’t even look you in the eye but you can tell he’s humiliated. Tail-between-the-legs humiliated. Little-boy-caught-by-mommy humiliated. The pause is heavy. The ambient noise in the bar fades away when he looks at you. He tries to find words but they aren’t coming. “Fuck. Never…never mind, it's stupid. Have a nice night” He lets go of your arm and storms away. 

You’re left there with your jaw on the floor. Usually this tall arrogant nerd wouldn’t shut up giving you a hard time. Now he’s running away. Without thinking, you follow him outside the bar and call out. 

“Ves, what the hell was that?” You hate to say it but you actually feel concerned. Like you have to finally put down your senseless grudge and actually talk to him. “Are you ok?” 

He looks out down the street. It’s a busy Friday night. Folks bar hopping, getting Ubers, whatever people who like each other do downtown, but it feels like it’s just you two. Your eyes bore into him, and he finally looks down at you. Blankly, but at least he’s looking at you. “I know how we can make the…‘situation’ work. 

“Oh? Other than bothering someone else?”

“Do you know what? This is your problem. You’re mouthy and always antagonizing to try to keep some hold over me…and I want all of it. I need you to keep being that way with me. Please.” His voice has dropped to a gravely murmur as his hands shake in clenched fists at his side. 

You two stare at each other for a moment too long. It’s uncomfortably intimate. You’re having a conversation without speaking and it eats at you. You should not want this. Not again. Not him. “What do you mean?”

He fidgets. “Don’t make me say it.”

“Are you kidding? You’re really going to stand here and ask me for something again without defining any terms? Without playing your part in whatever this sick little thing is?”

“If it’s so sick then why are you blushing? You blushed like that when I kissed your neck in my flat. You’re like me. Come on.”

You cock an eyebrow, realizing slowly what he means. “You like this…don’t you? Being put in your place?”

“You haven’t actually done it yet, but…if you did…we’d all feel better. Even if for a brief moment. An hour. An evening. Just…please,” he takes on that same pleading…groveling tone again. He means it. “I can’t…for lack of a better word and I know it’s stupid but…I can’t ‘show up’ and turn my brain off if we’re…equals or something.. So please…where do I belong? Tell me.”

The idea that this…dummy who antagonizes you wants to submit to you breaks your brain. But wait. 

“How did you even know to ask me about this, hm? Did you ask around…maybe even try to snoop on my socials?” Your voice isn’t harsh, but it isn’t gentle. Strict. Probing. 

The way he looks down and rubs the back of his neck, which suddenly looks biteable, is adorable. He gulps. “I uhm…I’m sorry…but I..”

You bite your lip and chuckle as he shifts from one foot to another. A couple walks past and gives you both a once over, which makes you stand closer to him. If he wants to feel claimed, you can try. Being in his personal space where everyone can see.

“I uhm…I heard you talking not too long ago…about…” he lowers his voice “about subby guys and…well..”

“Wooooow….so… been eavesdropping, eh, bub?”

He opens his mouth and only a little whimper comes out. “I’m so sorry.” He keeps looking down, but you reach up and guide his chin so he looks at you. 

“What a resourceful boy…” you say in a sticky sweet voice. “You were just dying to find something out to the point that you decided to sneak around? Was it fun? Little puppy sniffing around for clues…hm?”

Oh the blush that covers his face. The way his eyes sparkle. You know exactly when he overheard you wax poetic about submissive men to your friends at that party…because you knew he was there. You wanted him to hear…because you had your suspicions too. “Answer my question. Dig up your bones for me…did you have fun with your little secret mission?” 

He breaths shakily and bites his lip. Finally he nods…and gives you a big cheeky grin. “Yes ma’am.”

“Eh don’t call me ‘ma’am.’ Makes me sound old.”

“Oh sorry sorry uhhh I don’t mean to…”

“Ves…my goodness…it’s ok. You didn’t know.” You chuckle softly and feel like you’re looking at him for the first time. “Don’t be hard on yourself. And that’s my first order for you.” 

His back straightens a little and his pouty lips curl into a shy smile. “I can do that.”

“Good boy.” You can see his pupils dilate…his breath catch…his heart swell. Oh to be your good boy even though you despise him. 

Something inside you has snapped. Suddenly this insane “mutually beneficial” arrangement excites you. Having casual sex with someone you don’t like in the name of “some fun” was ok, but seeing now that he was naturally submissive made your head spin. This you could work with. 

“I will take a crumb. Honestly. Anything you’ll give me…even if this is the last time we talk about it and it falls through again…”

You put your hand up to stop him. “Stop that.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He winces when the word leaves his mouth. 

You smirk and brush his hair back a bit. Your nails lightly scratching his forehead. He wants to purr. To roll his eyes back and feel your nails all over him. 

“Look at you,” you whisper, letting your nails trail over his cheek. “Such a big baby. Aren’t you?”

“Let me take you home…please. Please…”

“No. Hmm. No, I don't think so. Not tonight.” 

He pouts a little bit but nods. “Yeah…yeah ok.”

“Mhm…be patient for me. Can you do that?”

He nods and bites his lip. You can tell he’s excited. “When we’re not like…playing or whatever…you don’t have to treat me any differently. It can be our secret. As we were, yeah?”

You take your time with this. You two rarely see each other as it is and like hell you’d mess with him in front of others. So things develop over texting and the occasional late night phone call…but usually texting. Talking on the phone leads to tone policing. Arguments. It’s best to just keep things borderline anonymous. 

Ves: are you too busy for me?

It was 10 pm. You were drinking wine in your underwear watching Scream. Technically, yes, you were busy. But you knew why he was texting and maybe it would be fun to indulge. 

You: I guess not. What do you need?

The response is instant. He was waiting for you.

Ves: nothing really. 

Ves: just wondering about you 

You: what about me?

Ves: what you’re doing. what you’re wearing. if I’ll ever actually get to be your good boy. feels like you want me at arms length all the time. Is that part of the fun for you?

What seemed like a fun flirty conversation has now turned somewhat emotional. You sigh, desperate to get things back on track. As you try to formulate a response, you get…oh.

The video’s thumbnail is dark, but you open it anyways. You hear blankets rustling and music being turned down as it becomes clear what he’s sent you. He’s laying on his back in bed; the blanket is pushed down to right below his belly button. You’ve never seen him shirtless…and now that’s all you want to see. Yeah he works out but he looks soft. Kissable. You can imagine how fun it would be to kiss down his neck to his tummy, telling him how pretty he is…making him feel small and fuckable. He starts talking…you can tell he’s nervous.

“Maybe this is too needy…too pathetic…I don’t know” he strokes his free hand mindlessly up and down his stomach, “but you like this. Maybe you want me to act out. Just tell me…please… Do you want me like this? Desperate…completely stupid…” As his voice trails off, he moves his hand down to his blanket-covered waist and palms…

“Oh shit,” you whisper as the outline of his cock comes into view and he speaks again. 

“I want you to want this…please…can I be needy for you?” The video ends just as he lets out a soft, breathy whimper. 

You compose yourself…or try to…and respond. 

You: look at you. Are you comfy in that big bed?

Again, the response is instant. 

Ves: yeah but I’m lonelllyyyyy. 

You: just pretend it’s me, sweetheart.

Ten minutes pass. Wait. Why are you sad he didn’t respond? Why do you care? Why…*ding ding*

Ves: ok, I did it. did I do good?🥺

Another text. A picture. What. A. Sight.

His hand concealed his now flaccid cock… but fully on show was his cum covered tummy. You choke back a moan and grasp your blankets. At this point you’ve forgotten who you’re texting and quite frankly you don’t care. 

You: such a good boy 🐶 you’re a hot mess, aren’t you? 

Crickets. Fucking. Crickets. You don’t hear from him for three days. You keep telling yourself it’s ok and not worth thinking about because you hate each other. It’s just mindless fun. Nothing personal. But then…it dawns on you. You’re technically in charge. 

You: come over  Ves: why? You: why do you think? be here at 8. don’t be a brat  Ves: 🧎‍♂️🐶 see you at 8

Right on the dot, he’s there. You’re hoping this doesn’t end the way it did last time. Necking in his lap before you came to your senses. But the energy is different. He stands close to and studies your face.

“What should I call you? When we’re…you know?”

“What feels natural? Other than ma’am…” you chuckle. Aw. An inside joke. 

He bites his lip and blushes. Why is he doing sweater paws with his hoodie? Such a slut. 

“I can think of one but…” he stammers, “not quite brave enough yet to use it.”

“That’s ok.” Your hands drift up to his chest, where you start to play with drawstrings of his hoodie. “Let me get you some water…do you need a snack before we get started?” 

He considers for a bit but shakes his head. “I can wait until you’re done with me”

You suppress a whimper. He’s in his subspace for you. Get it together. Also, easily entertained much? 

All he said implied was that he’d need sustenance after whatever you do to him because you’ll use him for all he’s worth. Very normal! Not worth whimpering over! “Let me show you my bedroom.” 

You gently pull let the hoodie’s drawstrings bounce as you let go of them. When you step inside your room he chuckles a little.

“Squishmallows eh?”

You give him a playful sneer, although any other time you would have laid into him. “Better get comfy with them if you want to do this.”

He’s already on the bed, shoes kicked off. He grabs one that looks like a shark and holds it to his chest. “Genuinely…your bedroom is really cozy. Thanks for having me over.” He says this as if it was any other conversation, but then he licks his lips a little. “I’m just going to lay here until you need or want me to do something. Is that ok?”

Well. You’re already straddling him before he can finish. “What have you been doing the past three days…hm?”

“I uh…” he stammers and looks up at you with watery puppy eyes. “Working. But…there were some things I didn’t do…”

“Yeah like talk to me.”

“Tsk. Stop. Just because we’re doing this doesn’t mean I’ve become a complete nympho. Honestly.” He rolls his eyes and looks away. “I was going to text you tomorrow anyways. I haven’t touched myself since that night we texted…haven’t…” he shifts under your weight and you feel a slight throb.

“Oh…is three days a long time for you? Hmm?”

He chuckles a little and squeezes the shark. “It’s…” he snorts when he laughs and hides his face. You move his hands and he chuckles a little more. What a beautiful sound. You realize you could recognize it anywhere and be better for it. “Yeah yeah yeah. It's been a long time for me. It’s usually everyday. Twice.”

“You gave up…six orgasms…for me? Of your own free will?”

“I wanted to do eight, gorgeous. I really did. But you texted and…”

“Well who said you were cumming tonight?”

He takes a deep breath and his eyes roll back a little. “My mistake.”

“No no no.” You lean down and kiss his forehead. “You did the right thing. Saving yourself up for me.” Your kisses trail down to his jaw. Fuck his soft and smooth. You gently nip at his earlobe and chuckle softly as he whines with pleasure. “You know what you are?”

“Hmm?” He lets out hazily. 

“A good boy. A good puppy. Coming when called. Obeying.” Your nose trails against his and you think for a second that this will be a repeat. You two will snap out of it. But he squirms again and pouts.

“I can be so good…please…”

“I’m not even doing anything to you yet…”

He groans as you slide off him and start palming his crotch. 

“Do you know how many times I got off thinking about that video you sent me?”

His cock bobs against your touch as he groans pathetically. “N-no…no idea. It wasn’t much…” 

You start to stroke him. Oh he’s needed this. His hips buck up into hand as he white knuckles the stuffed shark. Mumbled pleas fall from his pretty lips as you ask him what he’s hiding in his sweats. Your fingers slide under his waistband. His moans are whiny and whimpering. 

“Such a puppy.”

You slide his sweats and underwear slowly…just enough to free his cock. You gasp aloud. “Oh my goodness…Ves…look at you. Look. HEY.” You snap a bit to get his attention. His head is lolling back and you haven’t even touched his uncovered cock yet. “I said to look.”

He looks down and groans again as your manicured hands stroke him. You bite your lip and think about how exquisite it’ll feel inside you. The shark squishmallow is put to the side, and he comes up on his elbows. “Mmm..mm…your hands are so pretty. S’soft. Fuuuuck.” Your strokes are gentle and steady. His hips buck to control the pace but you gently flick his tummy. 

“Good boys don’t take.”

He pouts and settles into your bed. He seems to be enjoying himself. His legs twitching, his moans coming more often than not. But you wanted to play. You wanted his brain off. For now he was yours. You stop stroking. “Ves. Look at me.”

He whimpers when you stop and raises his head. The whimper turns into a strangled sob as the long string of spit from your lips coats the head. Your slow, teasing, wet strokes make his face contort like he’s sobbing. “Fffffff….uuuuCK! M-m-mmmm…mommy please.” You freeze and look up at him. 

“What was that?”

His face is all panic. “Oh my god oh my god no I’m sorry. It just slipped out…I’ll…fuck…no I’m so sorry.”

You lean forward and shut him up with a tender kiss on the lips. You allow his hands to trail over your ass and breasts, letting his touch linger a bit too long over your nipples. When you pull away, he’s blushing like crazy with hazy, dreamy eyes. “You’re such a good boy,” you whisper.

“T-thank you…mommy.” 

You slip out of your clothes and relish in his gaze. For the first time you don’t feel like he’s here to be your biggest critic…and you don’t need to mouth off to him. He looks at you with a dopey little grin. “Are you going to use me?”

You chuckle softly as you straddle him again. “You could say that. Make you my little boy toy. Would you like that?”

His whimpering keeps him from answering, probably because you’re teasing the head of his cock with your already wet pussy. “God…please use me. Please…it’s what I’m good for…I’ll make you so happy mommy I promise…please!!”

You blush and forget yourself for a bit when he brings one of his hands to his face. He looks adorable. He needs to be held. He needs kisses. “Give me a hand, puppy. Hold yourself still.”

He reaches down and holds his cock as you slide down. He hisses in pleasure and whines as you moan from the stretch. You grasp his chest as his cock disappears into your pretty pussy, your head thrown back and mouth wide open. Vessel’s breath is coming hard and fast as he touches you. He’s bottomed out inside you and he doesn’t dare move. You haven’t told him to. He needs to be good. The past three days won’t have been worth it if he fucks this up. 

You reach back and pat his thigh. “Bend your legs, puppy.”

“Yeah…yeah ok…” he groans out as he obeys. One hand holds his waist while the other trails under his hoodie. He whimpers and bites his lip as you toy with his nipple. 

“Lift your hoodie.” He lifts it only to expose his stomach but stops there. You tsk and pull it up so his chest is uncovered…mmm. “Look at my pretty boy…” you whisper as you kiss across his chest. You take in the warmth and natural scent of his skin…how he tastes under your little licks across his nipples…the texture of his skin between your teeth. A delicious chain reaction occurs when his cock throbs hard against you after leaving teeth marks on one of his pecs. “You’re being so good. I didn’t even have to tell you what to do.”

He looks at you hazily. You’ve only been cockwarming him, and he’s already empty headed. He nods dumbly but then yelps when your pussy clenched around him. 

“Tell me what you thought about that night…when you made the video.”

He gulps and holds you close to his chest. His cock is buried in your tight pussy but he doesn’t dare move.

“I..heh…I thought about being your seat. Your human mattress.”

You kiss and suck on his neck, admiring the red marks already decorating him. “Oh? You like being squished?”

“I thought about something like this. But you’re…you’re fucking me. You lay on my dead weight and then…” his cock throbs inside you and he whimpers.

“Shh I know,” you kiss his temple and nuzzle his face gently. “It feels so fucking good, huh? You like being under me like this?”

“Mhmmm…so safe…mm soft…fuck!” He holds on to you like he did with the shark plushie, his fingers pressing into your flesh desperately. He grits his teeth as he throbs inside you and whines. “Y-y-you’re so…tight. What the fuuuuuck.”

All this time you’ve been covering his face with kisses, grabbing his chin every time he tried to hide from your affection. His heels dig into your bed as he tries to keep himself from squirming and fucking you.

“Can you be still? Hm?”

“Ye…yeah. Yeah sorry…you just…aahhhh fuck…”

“Use your words, Vessy.” 

His eyes roll back and his back arches slightly. “Don’t call me that…makes me feel little…”

“I do have you pinned down…don’t I? You’re the one squirming.”

His eyes are glassy as he pouts. “Are you enjoying this? I…I…don’t feel like you are…”

You consider this for a second. 

“I don’t want to keep going if you’re not…” His eyes are desperate. “You need this too…fuck…please tell me you need this. You want this right? Please I’ll make you feel so good…if you just bounce on it a little. Please please…I’ll be such a good boy. You can lay on me and…and…I’ll just be a toy. I can take it…let me show you.” 

You don’t even realize you’ve started fucking him. Your hips roll gently, and he lets out an almost pained moan. His hips meet yours and your eyes roll back.

“Fuck…puppy…” your head and vision go a bit fuzzy as he bucks into you and…oh dear.

“Shit shit shit…I’m…I’m sorry…I’m cumming…baby…baby…” he bites his lip and looks up for reassurance as his hands mash you down further on his cock. He hates that he came so fast, it’s clear, but fuck it feels good. 

“It’s ok…cum for me…” you whisper. 

He lays back and catches his breath. You don’t move…his spent cock still trembling in your pussy. He whimpers pathetically.

“What’s wrong?” You ask. He’s clearly not just coming off his high. 

“Fuck I just….” He closes his eyes. “That’s so embarrassing. We barely did anything and I just…came like a fucking virgin. Go ahead.” He covers his eyes with his arm, “make fun of me. Tell me how pathetic I am.” Wow. He already wants to go back to normal.

“No. I don’t think I will.” 

You’re still on top of him. Cockwarming him. You gently move his arm and look at him softly. His lips twitch. Not to kiss you, but to try and smile. 

“You feel nice on me,” he whispers. “I really like your body. Even…even before we started this. Thought you were pretty.”

You chuckle a little and rest your chin in your hand. “Not sure why.”

He rolls his eyes. “Do you know why I hate you?”

You shake your head and let out a little laugh. 

“It’s because you’ve made me realize I don’t have to be miserable. That I could be someone to someone else. But that requires…change. Taking care of my…stupid self. Being better. I can’t have you. You don’t want me as I am. Honestly. I’m a wreck. It’s better for you to hate me and only see me as a plaything.”

His hands trace lazy patterns on your back. How strange it is to have this conversation while he’s inside…but that doesn’t bother you as much as his confession does. 

“Vessel. Jesus. I…Ves…I can’t stand you because you’ve never been nice to me. And now you’re saying it’s because you like me too much, yet not enough to get over yourself?”

He winces and sniffs. “It would be easier, getting over myself, rather than trying to not feel something for you.”

You move his face so he’s looking at you again. “Do you want to leave,” you ask. “You don’t have to stay longer than you want.”

Ves cups your face and tries to steady his breathing. “No. No, I don't want to leave. I want to stay and pretend I’m not me for just a little while. Is that ok?” You stare at each other…your breathing syncs…your eyes search other’s face. He strokes your face and purrs softly as his cock begins to stiffen again. Each time it throbs, you whimper, which in turn makes him chuckle softly. His hand slides down to your ass. “I need you. You’re the only one I want to…be with like this.”

“You don’t want this with someone you love.”

His eyes bore through you. He huffs and bites his lip, leaving an indention you swear would break skin. “May I please…may I please fuck you again? Properly. The way you deserve.”

You gasp softly and nod. “Would you like to be on top, puppy?”

His inhale is shuddering and sharp as he nods dumbly. You slide off him and lay beside him on your stomach. Ves seems confused.

“A-a-are you sure? From behind?”

You nod and beckon him closer. He slides off his sweats but you tell him to keep the hoodie on. “How hard are you for me?”

Leaning against you between your legs, he lightly taps his cock on your ass. It’s heavy and feels warm against your curves. He kneads your plush ass and whines a little. “So lucky…I am such..a…lucky…fucking…boy….fuuucckkkk.” He presses into your gushy pussy with a long, pathetic moan. You press against him, and his grip on your hips becomes shaky. “GOD you’re so hot….fuuccckkkkkk.”

You chuckle and moan as he thrusts gently…just trying to create some friction without completely losing his mind. He leans down and you feel the draw strings of his hood tickle your back. You reach behind you.

“What is it?”

“Come here, puppy,” you whisper softly. When he does you’re able to grab the drawstrings…anything to keep him in place. Leash him. Your fingers grip the collar of his hoodie now, and he collapses into you. “You going to be good? Stay right here for me, hm?”

He can’t even speak…he just lets out whimpers and moans that sound like sobs. You can only gasp with each thrust as he blubbers about it feeling “so..so..so..fucking good.” He whines into your shoulder as you pull him closer but the hoodie. “Please…let me…let me touch…please…”

“Mhm…” you let out weakly as he ruts into you. His hand trails down and under you towards your clit. You buck back into him as his nimble fingers find your clit. Cumming on your tummy never came easy, but with an eager lover, you think now it could happen. No matter who’s fingers it was rubbing your puffy clit between his fingers. 

“Mm…baby…baby let me bad. Please I know…i know…i know… I’m good boy but please let me bad…”

You grip your pillow and groan as your pussy quakes around his long cock. He takes this and your slutty, high pitched moan as consent. He takes your wrists in one hand and grips them roughly. You would be concerned about bruises if you weren’t seeing stars from the way his cock’s head rubs against your g-spot. He lets out something like a growl as he fucks you faster and harder. You’re mashed into the bed and cumming for the second time as he grabs you tight and bites your shoulder. You yelp and moan pathetically.

“Ves you’re so bad….you’re so…fucking naughty….” You’re cumming again as you lift your ass like you want him to mount you even deeper. He takes a break just to feel your orgasm squeeze him and to catch his breath. You let go of his hoodie, and he quickly rips it off. A sharp spank lands on your ass…he hisses with pleasure as he watches the skin of your ass cheek pinken before he lands another on you. 

“May…may I roll you over…please” he asks as he pulls out of you and rolls you over. It’s almost adorable how he toes the line between the asshole you know and a precious submissive boy. He spreads your legs, putting one up against his chest as he presses his cock back into you. One hand grasps your tummy and the other holds your ankle for leverage. “You’ve ruined me…” he moans as your name falls from his lips. Over. And over. And…over. He nibbles and kisses your ankle as he presses hard on your squishy lower tummy. His gasps come hard as it’s quite clear he’s reaching his limit.

“Ves…you’re gonna make me…fuck…I’m…”

“That’s it. Please…I want to see it…I need it…you’re so …ffffucking gorgeous….” he grabs you harder and rams into you with a powerful groan, his eyes wild as he exhales and bites his lip. “You’re…you’re going to cum…so….FUCKING hard on me…you won’t be able to cum again without thinking about me…Fffffuuuhhh”

His face contorts as his second orgasm ripples through his entire body. The thrusts become short, hurried bumps against your pussy as your back arches. You begin to rub your clit in rough, hurried circles as he fucks his cum hard into you. His eyes are misty as he mumbles about what a pretty angel you are…how good you’re taking his dick when…oh god…

A few moments later, he’s pulled out of you, looking down at the mess you made. You had never…ever squirted. And this…well…Vessel did that. You had no energy to hate. To be mean. Everything was different now. “I…wow…”

“Ever done that before?”

You lay back and catch your breath, wiping your watering eyes, shaking your head. “No…so…thanks I guess.”

He rubs your thighs and chuckles. “You’re amazing. Do you know that?”

You smile up at him and chuckle.

“Christ, what?”

“You’ve ruined it.”

“Oh…fuck off..ruined what?” He laughs and runs his fingers through his hair.

“My plans to die alone and hate you forever…thanks a lot.”

“Likewise, sweetheart.”

[mysteryshoptls]

SSR Azul Ashengrotto - Room Relaxation Vignette

"Happy Birthday"

[Beside Mister S's Mystery Shop]

Azul: Now then, however should I go about garnering interest in tomorrow's sale? Oh, who is that I spy over there…?

Azul: Epel-san, hello! This may be a little out of left field, but have you any interest in the Mostro Lounge's latest campaign sale?

Epel: Aaahh!? Oh… Hello, Azul-san. What campaign…?

Azul: You see, tomorrow is my birthday. And I was looking for some way to show how grateful I am towards everyone.

Azul: That's why, for tomorrow only, we've decided to slash our food and drink prices to discount rates at the Mostro Lounge!!

Epel: A discounted rate!? So, how much of a deal would you say we'd be getting?

Azul: Behold! One drink off the drink menu can be ordered for free.

Azul: In addition, all food items are 10% off. Parties of 3 or more will receive 20% off!

Epel: 20% off for groups of 3 or more…!? Awesome! That's good to know. I will definitely come tomorrow!

Azul: Wonderful! I do hope you come with your friends… and of course, your ESTEEMED POMEFIORIAN UPPERCLASSMEN. We await your patronage!

[Octavinelle Dorm – Azul's Room]

Azul: Both my academic activities and the Lounge's closing duties have finished successfully. I appreciate it when everything ends smoothly like today.

Azul: Now then, what documents do I still have left to look over…? Oh, is this from the Headmage? What could it possibly be?

Azul: A warning regarding the care of the apple trees? Who cares… is what I'd like to say, but if I leave this for later, it could become a bigger problem. I'll send a notification to the others in the dorm.

[message sent beep]

Azul: It looks like there was some trouble between some dormmates… There was a single incident today, between freshmen. It seems those four-person rooms are more prone to these little fights.

Azul: In regards to their individual arguments… Nothing really stands out as dire. I'll just write out a few suggestions on how to handle it going forward and send it on.

Azul: Next, let's look at the Lounge's report… Fufu, today's sales were in top form.

Azul: Our plan for tomorrow should bring us an abundance of customers. We may be selling at a discounted price, but that should be enough to draw in new folk.

Azul: That is, especially if Epel-san is true to his word and brings his dormmates… Specifically Vil-san!

Azul: If we were to slap on a label to every dish he orders as "Vil Schoenheit's recommendation!"…

Azul: There's no way there wouldn't be a massive increase in foot traffic. THIS IS A HUGE CHANCE FOR AN INFLUX OF NEW CUSTOMERS!

Azul: The Lounge's operations for the day will need to change depending on whether he shows up or not. I'll have to double-check all of tomorrow's preparations once again.

Azul: I'll run a few simulations in my mind while showering. All time is precious and should be used efficiently, after all.

Azul: Heheheh… I've come up with a fantastic plan. With this, tomorrow will be perfectly executed.

Azul: Now I feel I can spend tonight at ease.

[Octavinelle Dorm – Azul's Room]

Azul: What is the radio playing at this time of night…? Ah, an economics news program. How perfect to play in the background while I finish my assignments.

Azul: Today's Enigmics assignment is rather tough. It'll be good to have something to listen to in between answering questions…

Azul: …Oh, a watchmaker from the Queendom of Roses has a product up for pre-release, I see. I had heard that it was in development…

Azul: As it is the first new product in two years, I'm sure the stock prices will be affected. I should keep it on a watch list as I learn more about stocks.

Azul: …An apparel maker from the Shaftlands is experiencing difficulties? It seems the abnormal climate is the source of the issue… Hm.

Azul: That most likely means that other products may end up affected as well. For example, agricultural products…

Azul: Perhaps I should re-look at the Headmage's missive from earlier. There may be something useful there.

Azul: Oh? This formula looks like… Ah, yes, I should apply what I learned from that other problem. It's much easier to understand when I look at the bigger picture.

Azul: That reminds me, that business proprietor I met at a seminar the other day had mentioned a movie revolving around the person who came up with this very well-known formula.

Azul: It could be a good topic of conversation for the next time we meet, and I may even learn something new.

Azul: I'm sure it would help with this assignment as well, and it would be a good change of pace. I'll play the movie and lower the radio volume…

Azul: Perfect. I'll continue working on reviewing my Enigmics lessons and preparing for next class until the radio program ends at 22:00.

Azul: …That concludes the radio broadcast. I suppose I should work on "this" while I finish watching the movie.

「Survey on Quality of Life Improvements for the Student Body」

Azul: I've improved any and all issues I've had myself. I can't say I have any real dissatisfaction during my time here, but if I were to pick one thing…

Azul: I suppose it would have to be the troublesome formalities I have to go through to leave Sage's Island.

Azul: Every single time I'd like to attend a business seminar, or a social gathering, I am required to report to and gain approval from the Headmage.

Azul: Not only do I have to jot down the destination and purpose of the visit every single time, but the approval process is much too slow. And the most irritating thing about needing to write these applications in far in advance over and over again…

Azul: Is that even if a highly competitive and sought-after seminar announces that they've increased attendee capacity the day before the event, I couldn't possibly gain approval in time!

Azul: In the first place, why should we go through this whole process just to leave campus? If only they'd trust us students a little more.

Azul: The academy should provide students with more independence. I'll also add a few comments on the benefits of doing so.

[fervent writing]

Azul: That's it for the survey. What else do I have left to deal with for today…?

Azul: Aah, here's a birthday card. It seems there are some thoughtful people out there.

Azul: I would rather avoid any debts I may incur by receiving gifts, but I do appreciate cards that could help build connections. Let me see, who sent these cards…?

Azul: This one is from a Mostro Lounge business partner, this one is from someone I met at a seminar… Oh, and here's some from clients I've worked with in the past, as well.

Azul: Heh… With every bit of effort, my web of business contacts keeps growing. However, this isn't enough. It isn't nearly enough.

Azul: I've decided. I will absolutely make it my goal to have this school loosen its rigorous rules on leaving campus so that I can make plans on my free days at a spur of the moment.

Azul: Even if I can just make my way to one new social gathering, it will expand my connections even more. If I do that…

Azul: One day, it wouldn't be farfetched to think I'd be swimming in an ocean of birthday cards! Heheh… Hahahah…!

Azul: AAAHAHAHAHAH!!

[Octavinelle Dorm – Azul's Room]

[bubble, bubble… clink]

[clank]

Azul: Mm…

Azul: What's that sound…? Ah, the newspaper's here…

[puts on robe with a flourish]

Azul: Delivered, as always, perfectly on time. It's all thanks to this newspaper that I am able to wake up today as my usual time.

Azul: I've changed it up many times, but it seems this is the perfect amount of sleep for me in the end… I feel completely refreshed.

Azul: Now then, let me see what fascinating news I can glean from the newspaper today.

Azul: I think I'll drink something warm as I look through it.

Azul: Nnnn… I've finished reading all the articles that caught my eye, so I suppose I should start getting ready for the day.

[Azul magicks his hair up]

Azul: I'll adjust the water temperature to be lukewarm… Ah, still too hot. …Good, this is just right.

[splash, splash…!]

Azul: My skincare routine is as usual… Next, it's time for the makeup. Each little detail counts.

Azul: After all, visual appearance makes up 55% of the impression other people get from you.

Azul: People's eyes are drawn especially to the neck up. I need to use my makeup to give a strong aura so as to not be looked down by anyone.

Azul: I'll draw the eyeliner in a sharp line, and the eyeshadow and eyebrows should be drawn so as to give my eyes an almond-looking shape.

Azul: A bit of an intimidating look should suffice. That way, when I take a bit more of a sincere stance, it would be easier for the impression to change in my favor.

Azul: Now, for my lips… I should use this "Ocean-Proof Lip Balm" designed around the Sea Witch that I bought recently.

Azul: While it has a wonderful moisturizing effect, it doesn't rub off easily whatsoever. Since there's no need for me to reapply it every so often, it's perfect for someone with a busy schedule like myself.

Azul: Finally… The most important part is the shading and contour. Based on this application, the face can take on a completely different appearance.

Azul: If it's done too lightly, there won't be any effect; and sometimes it can have the opposite look of what was intended.

Azul: However, if the shading is applied too dark while trying to give the face a more angular look, it could end up looking strange.

Azul: Start the contour from the cheeks and apply a tone that is only a tad darker than my skin color to help create that natural shade...

Azul: Try to make it look as natural as possible, as if nothing had been applied at all… The trials and errors I've suffered getting to this current application method is numerous.

Azul: It's apparent that there's worth even in studying proper cosmetics.

Azul: …My hair is good to go now, as well. All that's left is to determine the perfume I'll use today…

Azul: Because of the campaign we're having today, I will most likely be on the Lounge floor as well. I should select a more reserved scent, then.

Azul: Right. I think I'll select this cologne with a herbal note that I've taken a liking to recently.

Azul: It's not too sweet, nor is the scent too strong… The herbal aroma also firmly plants the feeling that I truly am on land.

[spray, spray…]

Azul: Good. There is not a single thing out of place. I look perfect, as usual.

[Main Street]

[Heartslabyul Student chats with Azul]

Azul: Yes, thank you very much. We should talk again should we have the opportunity…

Epel: Ah… There he is. Azul-san, good morning!

Azul: Oh my, Epel-san. Good morning. Is there something you need of me…? Ah, does it have something to do with the Lounge?

Epel: Ah, not really. I mean, I did think I should give you a heads up because there's gonna be a lot more of us than I thought, but actually…

Epel: I realized I wasn't able to wish you a happy birthday yesterday. So, I just wanted to say, Happy Birthday!

Azul: Oh, my… Heh, thank you so kindly. Well then, I shall definitely have a table reservation awaiting you at the Lounge.

Requested by @oya-oya-okay.

[mind-intheclouds342]

Do it for them - Co-captain reader x curly

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3

You were tapping the end of the pencil in your hand against your leg repeatedly while writing in your notebook, sitting cross-legged on your bed.

"The ship is still moving, but I could perfectly hear its engines from outside... that means it's following a route, it would be great to know where it's taking us... Could the autopilot have been activated unexpectedly?...That would be a miracle... How could we trace the route we are taking?..."

You were thinking out loud and biting the pencil, hoping someone else would respond, but when you turned to your side, there was no one.

You missed him too much.

You needed to clear your head, so you left your room putting on your jacket to take a walk. 

As you stepped out and started wandering the hallways, you could see Jimmy approaching one of the dormitories.

"That is not your bedroom."

You mentioned exalting him and making him turn to look at you.

Jimmy: "I wanted... to see if Anya was okay, she looks very distressed."

"Don't do it, get out of there and leave her alone. Who wouldn't be distressed in a situation like this? Go to your bedroom and try to rest."

You pointed to the end of the hallway, waiting for him to leave, and when he did, you immediately peeked into Anya's room, seeing her deeply asleep in her bed.

You closed his door carefully and looked around, making sure no one was near. 

You decided to do something risky.

You headed to the nursery to try to get in and see Curly, but you felt frustrated when you saw it was locked with a code. You entered one, and end up getting a denied access, you couldn't help but let out a sigh and lean your back against the door, then slid down to sit on the floor.

"Did you seriously set a code so I can't come in and see you when you're alone? That's very cruel of you."

You said, resting your head against the door, hoping he could hear you.

"I'm sorry... I know you must be feeling overwhelmed... I have no idea what state you're in... I don't even know if you can hear me... I want you to know that I'm doing my best to help everyone move forward... But even so, I miss you and I need you with me..."

You started playing with your hands while you continued talking.

"I still don't understand what happened, how we crashed, others think it was you but... It's impossible, you would never do something like that... Right?"

You turned, kneeling in front of the door, resting your forehead against it.

"That's not true, is it? You're not hiding there trying to avoid me because you feel guilty, are you?..."

You let out a small chuckle and gave the door a gentle punch.

"What am I talking about? Obviously, it wasn't your fault... It must have been an unexpected event, something you couldn't control... And I want you to know that I'm on your side... okay?... Goodnigth, darling."

You got up from that place to start walking around the ship, hoping to find some peace before sleeping.

The next day, Anya was very curious about what he was doing to her door. 

Anya: "Is that a latch?"

"Yes, your door opens and closes during the nights, it makes a horrible noise, when you close it you can lock it with the latch to keep it in place."

You said, finishing installing that on the door, you tested it and pulled the door hard to make sure it would take a good hit to break it. 

Anya lowered her head, as if she were hiding her sadness from you. 

"By the way, do you know anything about the gun?"

Anya: "Why are you asking me that?"

"I can't find it anywhere, and I want to keep it out of reach of others, just in case."

Anya: "...No, I'm sorry, I don't know where it could be"

She responded still with her head down.

"Sheesh... I hope no one really has it."

You sighed, cleaning the dirt from your uniform, ready to go out and deliver the daily rations to everyone. 

Anya: "Captain-"

She said almost as if she were letting out a sigh after holding her breath for a few seconds. 

You turned to look at her, hoping she would tell you what she needs. 

Anya: "...Don't forget Curly's rations..."

"Of course not, I've already made sure to set aside something he can consume."

You nodded to continue on your path.

Daisuke: "This is more than yesterday!"

"As I said, Curly can't eat the same as everyone else, so I've had to change the portions, making them a bit more for each one." 

Jimmy: "Ha, I don't think you need more rations."

You took a deep breath, squeezing one of the packages you were handing to Daisuke to the point of making it explode, the cookies inside leaving them in crumbs.

Daisuke: "Aaaw..."

"Oh- I'm sorry- here, take mine-"

You said right away to hand them over. 

Jimmy: "And tell me, (Y/n), have you found a way to return?"

"It takes time, Jimmy, I need time, and calm, and the patience you're making me lose!"

You aimed it, it was clear how your hand was trembling with the same rage you were feeling. 

You still remembered your wedding day, after the ceremony, the disgusting way he looked at you in your dress, and you could hear what he said to Curly. 

"That dress is about to tear apart, why did you marry that?"

Many were surprised by the captain that day; they had never seen Curly so angry with his friend. Jimmy thought he would react the same way when he said other hurtful or unpleasant things, but that wasn't the case. 

You were never going to understand how your husband could be friends with someone so twisted.

And you would never understand how he decided it was a good idea to include him in the crew. 

You held your wrist trying to stop it from trembling and stopped pointing it to smile at him. 

"Here is your food" 

You told him in the end, throwing his rations at his face. 

"When we get home, I will make sure to tell the press that you were the only idiot who did nothing to help, just crying and complaining like a child. It's going to look great on your resume."

You finally handed over his rations to Swansea to leave and continue looking for a way to fix things. 

Swansea: "You're never going to learn, huh? You love to annoy her."

Jimmy just clicked his tongue in annoyance, picking up his rations from the floor to take them to his room and lock himself in there for the rest of the day.

[fun-k-board]

Happy New Year!! 🎉

If it's alright, could I request Loki Headcanons about a Shy Lover or Secret Admirer? I imagine something like that wouldn't stay secret for long, knowing Loki, but I love the idea of the Lover in question being flustered beyond belief at being found out 💕

MARVEL RIVALS - LOKI LAUFEYSON With a Shy Secret Admirer Headcanons!

Note(s): I'm sorry this came out a bit late, college stressed me out so bad my body and mind did a factory reset. I'll be trying to finish the rest of my requests weekly.

"Oh?" Loki's eyes are light, something unusual for the trickster. Almost eager, they flick between you and the paper that's held loosely in his hand, the usual hint of amusement in his upturned lips. "You wrote these? Well, I can't say I'm not flattered, but you are aware I've been courting you for quite some time, yes?"

You and Loki would most likely know each other prior to you becoming his secret admirer, after all, he is a bit of a flirt and you're most likely one of many that he's charmed over the years. But, for him to accept your proposal, which is how I intend to write this as to avoid angst, he would need to reciprocate your feelings. In short, he'd probably be actively courting you while you do this.

It'd mostly be insignificant things, not killing you, maybe paying you a compliment every now and then, and maybe, just maybe, if he's feeling generous he'll find it in his heart to give you a gift. Typically it's jewellery, something that reflects him, gold with green jewels are his favourite. Necklaces are a no brainer, they're so easy to spot, and it's so easy to tell who it's from, too (You'll be lucky if he doesn't engrave his name on the damn thing).

Of course, he loves to tease you. It's so fun to see you squirm and try to hide away, even if he can't see the effect of the blood rushing there, he likes to hold a hand to your face every now and then to see if it's hot. One of his favourites is to whisper plans of mischief, and maybe try and get you to tag along in his next prank or attempt to steal the throne, it depends on his mood, really.

Infuriatingly, however, you don't seem to pick up on his obvious flirtations. He immediately decides that's an issue on your part, but he'll indulge you and give an extra flirty, witty remark every now and then. Wait- you're still not- oh you frustrate him endlessly! He's got half a mind to smite you, you know!

The thing is, Loki enjoys a good mystery and a thrilling hunt, but what he wants most of all is to be adored, worshiped, have thousands at his feet begging and pleading just for him to spare them a glance. So, when he starts getting little trinkets wrapped in bows, with papers written full of heartfelt devotion... Well, how can a God refuse such wonderful praise?

It's around that time of annoyance and pining, his stubbornness refusing to allow him to confess first, you must make the first move as it's obviously you who is obsessed with him, that he actually begins to receive your gifts. In such random places too, sometimes even tucked in the pocket of his clothes! Not that he doesn't admire the bravery to do such a thing.

At first he doesn't really look deep into it, he's content to find the very obviously placed gifts and doesn't care much for where they're found. As long as he's getting the attention he rightfully deserves, he doesn't care who it's from. Why should he need to know who loves him when he's being loved either way?

But, when he does want to find out this secret admirer's identity, perhaps in a ploy to make you jealous and confess, it's when he realises that it's you. The handwriting, the way of speaking, grammar, punctuation, and the nail in the coffin is when he catches you placing a note in his quarters while invisible.

This works out brilliantly.

Not only does it confirm in Loki's mind that you're utterly infatuated and obsessed with him, but it makes him believe that you were secretly aware of his courting all along. That you, given your shy nature, had done this to play into his trickster personality. He can't say he isn't impressed by your wits! (Someone please get him a reality check...)

Naturally, Loki plans something sweet yet embarrassing for his your confession, and despite his want for love and attention, he supposes that he'll make it a private affair. After all, he does want you to admit your love for him and giving you a panic attack would probably only drive you away.

The gardens are certainly beautiful this time of day, not bright enough to burn your eyes but not dark enough so you can't see, it's perfect. Not to mention quiet. Many people prefer to admire the gardens after their meals, either in the morning or in the night, but strangely never the evening, which leaves you by yourself. It's peaceful.

Yet the peace, as usual, is interrupted by a certain prince.

You turn around when you hear your name being called, your brows shooting upwards when you realise it's Loki. What could he need? Is he planning another prank? No matter, either way you're clearly involved. So, you wave a friendly hand and hope that you can ignore the sickly butterflies in your stomach that flutter harder when the sound of his shoes click closer and closer towards you.

"I want to speak with you." Loki hums, coming to a halt only a meter away from you.

You ask what he wants to speak with you about and he searches in his pocket for a moment until he finds a small piece of paper, holding it out in his palm almost like an offering. It looks familiar. Hesitant, you feel your fingers pinch a corner and take it for yourself, dread setting in your stomach as you realise. He figured it out.

When you look up sharply to explain, his face is inches from yours. The action causes your cheeks to get unbelievably hot, and even if the blood rushing to your face isn't visible, Loki knows you, he knows your tells. "I admire your worship, darling." He whispers, eyes narrowing as a sly grin grows on his lips. "But I would prefer it to be in person."

[btsxmalereaders]

I'll be There

>pairing —seo changbin x trans!male reader >genre — fluff, a bit angsty >summary —  When you're overwhelmed by the return of your period and feelings of dysphoria, Changbin steps in with quiet care and love, proving that even in the hardest moments you're never alone. >word count — 3,7k >a/n: idk how this happened i was planning on writing something short and fluffy but yeah, anyway... I hope you like it! This is my first time posting in a long while but luckily i'm on my winter break, so i'll catch up with reqs! thank you so much for your patience and support xoxo >warnings: dysphoria, menstrual themes.

“Alright, sounds good. How about next week? If I remember correctly, we have to record the dance practice for the title track.” Chan says and immediately looks at everyone’s reactions. 

You all are practicing for the upcoming comeback, recording videos for promotion, practicing nonstop the different choreographies, attending meetings, recording some songs, practicing again, recording many more things for different platforms and doing many other interviews. It is exhausting, sometimes, but you all think it is worth it when seeing the results of your hard work. 

“Yeah, next week seems fine.” Hyunjin agrees out loud meanwhile the rest of you just nod and stand up as today’s practice has finished. “I guess we could go live after recording the practice, and tease a bit about the comeback.”

Chan gives a few last indications and stays a bit talking to the staff while you start collecting your stuff and getting ready to go back to the dorm. It’s late, and you still need to get up early for tomorrow’s activities. As you walk back to the lockers you let out a deep sigh; your head has been hurting a lot and you could only owe it to the sleepless nights and continuous work. Changbin's eyes flicker to you as you try to gather your stuff, clearly in discomfort but not saying anything. He knows you better than anyone, especially after the months you've been together, but there’s still a certain sense of care and sensitivity he approaches your health with.

“Hey,” He murmurs softly as he grabs your bag before you could even touch it. “Are you okay?” Changbin asks, snapping you out of your thoughts. 

You nod and give him a weak smile. “Yeah, just a little worn out. I’ll be fine.”

He doesn’t buy it, not for a second. He knows you enough to tell you were feeling bad; he has noticed how in this whole time in the practice room you didn’t say a word, only when you were asked to. The groans you let out as a sign of tiredness and discomfort wasn’t something he overlooked. “You sure? You’re still not looking like yourself. Do you want me to get you something?”

Before you can respond, he walks ahead of you, his phone already out. You’re not sure who he’s messaging, but by the time you walk out of the room, he’s holding some painkillers and a water bottle in his hands. “Here, love. Take this and let’s get you something to eat, alright? I’m making dinner tonight.”

You look up at Changbin, a bit surprised but mostly grateful. He’s always been the thoughtful one, noticing the smallest details when you’re not feeling your best. The thought of dinner sounds comforting, but you’re not sure if you have the energy to eat.

“I don’t know, I’m really not feeling great,” you mutter, rubbing your temples as the headache intensifies.

He shakes his head with that soft, concerned smile of his. "That’s exactly why you need to eat. And no arguing with me. You know I can’t let you starve, especially when you're like this."

You let out a tired laugh. "You’re really spoiling me, aren’t you?"

He winks, his grin widening. "Someone has to take care of you, especially when you're too stubborn to do it yourself."

You smile at him, feeling a little lighter, and let him lead you out of the building into the car waiting for you, his arm gently guiding you along. As all of you make your way back to the dorm, Jeongin, Minho and Felix are engaging in an interesting debate about which one is the best Pokémon, Hyunjin seems to be focused on something on his phone and Seungmin, Han and Chan are discussing details of their agenda. But Changbin keeps glancing over at you, his eyes filled with concern, making sure you're comfortable. You find it endearing, the way he always looks after you, even in the smallest of ways.

When you finally get back to the dorm, the first thing Changbin does is usher you to the couch, throwing a blanket over your shoulders before even thinking about starting dinner. You sink into the cushions, letting the comfort of the blanket wrap around you as you watch him bustle around the kitchen. He’s surprisingly good at cooking, something you learned early on in your relationship, and you can't help but admire the way he moves so effortlessly, his focus entirely on making sure you're okay.

"Sit back, relax. I’ve got it from here," he says, glancing over his shoulder with a teasing grin. "I’m the chef tonight."

Everyone seemed to catch up on you feeling a bit down so they do their best on not making too much noise and check up on you constantly. Felix has put on your favorite movie and Jeongin prepared you a warm bath; which you truly appreciated. 

You were nearly sleeping on the couch as the warm water made you feel more tired, but Changbin finished cooking quickly with the help of Minho as well. You all gather at the table and try not to discuss work themes; everyone seemed to be tired of it as well, so a new rule you all agreed on was not to bring those matters to the dorm; just try to relax and catch a break from all the stress it implied.

“I’ll wash the dishes tonight, everyone just go to sleep.” Chan murmurs and everyone thanks him with a smile. You smile and stand up, rushing to your bedroom and hurrying to prepare for sleep.

Changbin walks in a few minutes later, still with a look of concern on his face. You exit the bathroom and yawn. 

“How are you feeling now?” He asks as he starts to get ready too. You just get in bed and sigh.

You close your eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath. Your head still hurts, but it’s not as intense as before, and the comfort of your bed helps ease the tension in your muscles.

"I’m okay now, I think," you reply, your voice softer than usual. “The bath really helped... and dinner was perfect, as always, so thank you. I feel... I don’t know, just a little less heavy.”

Changbin walks over to the bed, his expression softening even more as he sits next to you. He brushes a strand of hair away from your face, his touch gentle and caring.

You chuckle softly, closing your eyes for a moment. As much as you love seeing him take care of you, you can’t help but feel a little guilty. He deserves the same care and attention, but you’ve been too caught up in your own exhaustion to give him the same.

"I’m sorry for being such a mess lately," you murmur, barely audible.

Changbin stops mid-motion, "You’re not a mess. You're allowed to be tired, and you're allowed to ask for help when you need it. I’m here for all of it, alright? Just… don’t shut me out."

You look up at him, his eyes so full of understanding, and you feel your chest tighten with appreciation. He doesn’t want anything in return; he just wants to be there for you, in whatever way you need.

“I love you so much,” you whisper, your voice a little shaky.

He smiles softly, leaning in to kiss your forehead. “I love you more, and I’ll always be here. You don’t have to thank me. Just… focus on getting better, okay?"

You nod, feeling a sense of peace wash over you. Maybe you were running on empty, but with Changbin by your side, you knew you could face anything. Even the toughest days would feel a little easier with him there to support you.

Truth is, Changbin has been a gift sent from heaven. It was so easy for you two to connect, to develop something greater than a friendship; it was so natural, so meant to happen. You loved every single one of your friends, you even considered them your family; but with Changbin you just knew you were meant to be together as something more. He often liked to say you were like an extension of himself, of his soul. 

At the beginning you were just a mess of nerves and fear. You were confident in your identity and being, it was the people’s reaction what made you feel worried. The thought of being misunderstood, judged, or treated differently because of who you were felt like a heavy weight on your chest. But over time, you learned to trust yourself more, to lean into your confidence, even when doubt crept in. 

What made it all bearable, though, was finding the right people to stick by your side, people who saw you for who you truly were. Changbin was one of them. He never once faltered in his support. From the very beginning, when you had confided in him about your fears and insecurities, he was unwavering in his care and understanding. He made sure you always knew that your identity, your truth, was something beautiful in his eyes. He never made you feel like a burden, never pushed you to change, just accepted you fully, as you were.

You’d been together for a while now, but it wasn’t something you could just throw out to the fans. Being a part of Stray Kids has always been an exciting, rewarding journey, but it also came with its own challenges, especially in the industry you’re in, where image and expectations are everything. Things are fine as they are now; calm, private, and under control.

“I’m really lucky, aren’t I?” you murmur softly, nestling deeper into Changbin’s embrace.

He tightens his hold on you, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “No,” he replies, his voice filled with warmth. “I’m the lucky one.”

You smile, feeling the warmth of his words settle in your chest. It’s a quiet moment, but in it, you feel like everything is right.

"Yeah," you whisper, your eyes fluttering closed, "we're both lucky."

He hums softly in agreement, his thumb gently brushing against your arm as the two of you drift into a peaceful sleep.

——————————————————————————————————

The next week rolls around, and practice is as intense as ever. The comeback is just around the corner, and everyone is pushing hard to perfect every move and note. You’ve been working non-stop, barely catching a break, and the exhaustion is starting to take its toll. The symptoms had been there all week, the fatigue, headaches, cramps, but you convinced yourself it was just the stress of all the rehearsals, meetings, and promotions. After all, you’ve been on testosterone for months, and your periods had been absent, so you didn’t expect to deal with them again. But as the day goes on, the cramps intensify, and that’s when it hits you: Oh no. You’re getting your period.

You try to push through, focusing on the choreography and not letting yourself get distracted, but the pain becomes unbearable. You’re still moving, but it’s sluggish, like your body isn’t responding the way it should. Your stomach twists with each step, the cramps growing sharper, and you can feel your face flush. This isn’t just from stress, you think. It’s the real deal.

You’re about to say something when Changbin notices first. He’s always been quick to read your expressions, and today is no different. He pauses mid-step, his eyes catching yours, and something in his expression shifts. There’s a sudden concern there that makes you freeze. He knows.

"Hey," he murmurs, stepping closer, his hand resting gently on your shoulder. "Are you okay? You don’t look so good."

You try to force a smile, but it feels weak. “I’m fine. Just tired, but I’ll catch up, honestly. I’ll be alright.”

Changbin sighs. His eyes flicker over you again, noticing the way you’re holding your stomach and the tightness in your posture. “You’re sweating, and you’re holding your stomach. It’s more than just being tired, isn’t it?”

You let out a shaky breath, trying to ignore the building anxiety in your chest. “I think I’m about to start my period…” you say in a quiet voice, almost embarrassed to admit it. You don’t want to make a scene, especially not in front of the team, but it’s hard to ignore the truth. You had thought the testosterone would stop your periods for good, and now, to have them come back so unexpectedly, it’s a shock. A panic starts to rise in your chest. 

Changbin’s face softens, and he immediately takes a step closer, his expression filled with concern. “Hey, it’s okay. Don’t stress about it. We’ll figure it out.”

But you can’t help the worry that settles in your gut. You hadn’t expected this, and now it feels like everything’s coming undone. What if something’s wrong? What if I’m not supposed to have this anymore?

Before you can spiral into those thoughts, Changbin is already taking charge. He walks over to Chan and the staff, speaking to them in quiet tones. You can hear a few words exchanged, but the conversation feels distant as the pain continues to rise. You want to push through, to keep going, but the cramps are unbearable. You can barely stand up straight, and your body feels like it’s shutting down.

When Changbin comes back, he kneels down in front of you, his hand resting gently on your knee. “They’re good with everything. You don’t need to worry about the live or rehearsal for now. We’ll handle it.”

You open your mouth to protest, but the words get stuck in your throat. The thought of letting everyone down, especially when they’ve been counting on you, makes your chest tighten. You swallow hard, the weight of it all starting to sink in. “I feel like I’m failing, though. Everyone’s expecting me to be there, and I can’t even keep it together.”

Changbin takes your hand in his, squeezing it gently. “You’re not failing. Taking care of yourself doesn’t make you weak. You’ve been working so hard, and you’ve got us. We’ve got your back, okay?”

His words ease the tightness in your chest, but the anxiety is still there, lingering in the back of your mind. You don’t want to feel like a burden, especially not to Changbin. But his reassuring smile and calm presence give you the comfort you need to let go of some of that fear.

He stands up, brushing a hand through your hair before looking down at you with a soft expression. “I’ll make sure everything’s taken care of. Let’s get you home, alright?”

As Changbin helps you out of the practice room and toward the car waiting to take you home, the guilt starts creeping in again. You’re quiet for most of the ride, staring out of the window, your mind racing. Why now? Why did this have to happen now of all times? What if the guys are mad at me? What if this keeps happening? What if something’s wrong with my body?

Changbin doesn’t press you to talk, though. He keeps his hand resting on yours, his thumb tracing calming circles over your knuckles. Every now and then, he glances over, but he knows you need the space to work through your thoughts, even if they’re running wild.

When you finally get back to the dorm, the silence feels heavier. As soon as the door closes behind you, it’s like the emotions you’ve been holding back all day come flooding in. You drop your bag to the floor, your shoulders shaking as tears start to spill. You’re angry at your body for betraying you, frustrated with yourself for not noticing the symptoms sooner, and overwhelmed by the thought of not being there for the team.

Changbin is by your side in an instant, gently pulling you into his arms. “Hey, hey, it’s okay,” he murmurs, his voice soft and grounding. “You’re okay. Just let it out.”

“I’m sorry,” you choke out, clinging to him. “I didn’t mean to-- this wasn’t supposed to happen, Binnie. I thought I was done with this. What if it doesn’t stop? What if something’s wrong with me? And now I’m missing practice and the live, and everyone’s going to think I’m slacking or--”

“Stop,” he cuts in gently but firmly, pulling back just enough to cup your face in his hands. His eyes meet yours, steady and full of reassurance. “None of that is true. You’re not slacking, and you’re not failing. Your body’s doing something unexpected, yeah, but it doesn’t mean anything’s wrong with you. It’s just a part of the process, okay? You’re doing your best, and that’s all anyone can ask for.”

His words break through the storm in your head just enough to make you pause, but the tears keep coming. You bury your face in his chest, letting yourself cry as he holds you tightly.

Meanwhile, back at the studio, the rest of the group has gone live. They’re chatting with fans, teasing the comeback, and answering questions, but your absence hasn’t gone unnoticed.

Where’s ______?, one fan asks in the chat, echoed by several others, as well asking for Changbin.

Chan steps in smoothly, his tone light but comforting. “Ah, ____ wasn’t feeling well today, so he’s resting. Don’t worry, he’ll be back soon! We’re taking good care of him. Changbinnie is making sure he is doing fine.”

The chat floods with messages of support and concern, and the members take turns reassuring the fans, making sure the focus stays positive. Changbin had already briefed them before he left, and you know they’ve got your back. But that doesn’t stop the guilt from gnawing at you as you picture them carrying on without you.

“See?” Changbin whispers as he rubs soothing circles on your back, as if he can sense your spiraling thoughts. “They’re all handling it just fine. No one’s upset, and the fans are being super supportive. You’re not letting anyone down, love. You’re just human.”

You sniffle, wiping at your face as you pull back slightly to look at him. “I just hate feeling like I’m not doing enough. And this stupid period is making me feel worse.”

“You’re doing more than enough,” he insists, brushing a tear off your cheek with his thumb. “You push yourself so hard every day, and it’s okay to take a step back when you need to. That doesn’t make you any less important to the team, or to me.”

You sigh and feel more tears streaming down your face. A silence fills the room for a moment as you collect your thoughts. Changbin clears the traces. “What else are you thinking of?”

“I feel… so out of place,” you whisper, voice cracking. “It’s like my own body is against me. I thought I was past this. I’ve been on T for years, and I’ve been doing everything right, but it still comes back, Binnie. I feel like I’m back at square one, like I’m not even–”

“Hey,” he interrupts softly but firmly, wrapping his arms around you tighter. “Don’t say that. You’re exactly who you’re meant to be. None of this changes that, not even for a second.”

“But it feels like it does,” you cry, voice trembling. “It feels like no matter what I do, I’m stuck in a body that doesn’t feel like mine. And now this, on top of everything else– I just feel so overwhelmed, like I can’t catch a break.”

Changbin takes a deep breath, holding you close as he thinks carefully about what to say. “I can’t pretend to fully understand how this feels for you,” he starts quietly. “But I do know that it doesn’t make you any less of the amazing, strong person that you are. You’ve been through so much, and you’ve come so far. One bad day, or even a bad week, doesn’t undo all of that.”

His words don’t fix everything, but they cut through the noise in your head just enough to ground you. You grip his arm tightly, feeling the steady rise and fall of his breathing, and it helps pull you back to the present.

“It just feels so unfair,” you murmur after a moment. “I’m so tired of this fight.”

“I know, love,” he whispers, resting his chin on top of your head. “I hate that you have to go through this, but you don’t have to do it alone. I’m here for you, always. Whatever you need; space, comfort, distraction, I’ll do it. You just have to tell me.”

You let out a shaky breath, your body slowly relaxing into his. “I don’t even know what I need right now,” you admit.

“That’s okay,” he says gently, his hand moving to rub soothing circles on your back. “We’ll figure it out together. For now, just focus on breathing, okay? One thing at a time.”

He shifts slightly, grabbing the blanket he’d brought over earlier and wrapping it snugly around both of you. “You’re not alone in this. And this doesn’t change how I see you or how much I care about you. You’re still you, always.”

The sincerity in his voice breaks through some of the tension in your chest. You rest your head against his shoulder, closing your eyes as you focus on the sound of his heartbeat. Slowly, the overwhelming tide of emotions starts to ebb, replaced by a small flicker of comfort. Changbin doesn’t rush you or try to push you to move on from how you’re feeling. He just stays there, holding you, letting you take the time you need.

His words hit you right in the chest, and for the first time all day, you feel a little less alone.You let out a shaky breath, leaning into him again as you whisper, “Thank you, Binnie.”

He presses a kiss to the top of your head, his arms still wrapped securely around you. “Always,” he replies softly. “Now, how about we get you into some comfy clothes and set up a little movie night? Just you and me.”

The thought of curling up on the couch with him, away from all the stress and expectations, sounds like exactly what you need. You nod, finally letting yourself relax a little, knowing that for now, it’s okay to let someone else take care of you.

[trikaranos]

TRIKARANOS CHAPTER I: S·T·T·L

TRIKARANOS is a comic about Crassus until it isn't. Intended for an adult audience.

⭐ Trikaranos will always be free to read. In the near future, you’ll have the option to support this comic & my ability to spend time making it (I Am Extremely Fucking Broke And Have Bills To Pay etc etc) through Patreon! currently, I have a tip jar!

⭐ There is no set update schedule (chapters vary in length and will be posted as I finish working on them)

⭐ alternative places to read it (coming soon!)

CREDITS all additional art used are in the public domain, and the specific images used are open access, etc

🍊the first collage panel is combination of: Plate 113: Greeks Battling the Trojans (from Ovid's Metamorphoses), Antonio Tempesta / The Trojans pulling the wooden horse into the city, Giulio Bonasone (after Francesco Primaticcio) / Terracotta hydria displaying Achilles waiting to ambush Triolos and Polyxena 🍊the second collage panel is: The Lictors bringing Brutus the bodies of his Sons, Jacques Louis David / the paint over of Brutus executing is own sons is my own work based on the composition of this relief of Brutus and condemning his sons to death. 🍊I also used my own art: a panel from the Prologue, and my own illustration of Brutus with the bodies of his sons

📖 PREVIOUS CHAPTER | START HERE | ToC (under construction!)

UNDER THE CUT creator’s commentary, ancient citations, whatever else seems relevant. ideally, this is optional! you shouldn’t need the citations for it to make sense as it unfolds since it’s a comic and a story first and foremost, but it’s here if you’re curious about something or want to see where the inspiration is coming from!

I'm so fucking normal about Crassus and his family (<<< this is a lie)

Marcus Crassus was the son of a man who had been censor and had enjoyed a triumph; but he was reared in a small house with two brothers. His brothers were married while their parents were still alive, and all shared the same table, which seems to have been the chief reason why Crassus was temperate and moderate in his manner of life. When one of his brothers died, Crassus took the widow to wife, and had his children by her, and in these relations also he lived as well-ordered a life as any Roman.

Plutarch, Crassus

like, it actively fucks me up that this is something that's survived about him for over 2,000 years. they all ate together at the same table. Jesus Christ.

so! Crassus' dad! Publius Licinius Crassus (consul 97) fought on the side of Cn. Octavius (consul 87) in the Bellum Octavianum, and it didn't go great for him.

Crassus: A Political Biography, B.A. Marshall

also. currently, if you look Publius Licinius Crassus up on wikipedia for an overview, his page lists his son (and also my main character for this comic) with the cognomen Dives, which is in-fucking-correct.

Marcus Crassus and the Late Roman Republic, Allen Mason Ward

and to circle back to houses and meals shared with family, some citations that made me feel some kind of way when I read them

Marcus Crassus and the Late Roman Republic, Allen Mason Ward

finally, there is discourse or whatever on the placement of the sons of Publius Licinius Crassus. Crassus is the baby brother here simply because I'm writing this story and I get to pick the themes, but also because no one has provided a solid enough argument for him being the second eldest son that I'm willing to buy into with enthusiasm, and I'm more inclined towards G. Sampson's conclusion on the matter.

Defeat of Rome: Crassus, Carrhae, and the Invasion of the East, Gareth C. Sampson

and while I'm just kind of talking about stuff that I read that I enjoyed, this article by Martin Stone lives in my head rent free

A Year of One's Own: Dating the Praetorship of Marcus Crassus, Martin Stone

[sadrottengirl]

Masterlist

The Golden marks

Jinwoo x Fem!reader

Chapter 1

You where never the most serious person out there honestly quite the contrary, most S rank hunters where mysterious, reserved they had a stone wall between normal people and themselves putting up charming perfect fronts.

You however, you where more of a act first think later person, not to say your dumb or anything quite the opposite your incredibly smart and cunning but also genuine and truthful, that's probably why you had loads of devoted fans, a beautiful strong woman that's also soft and funny?

What's not to love?!

But it also made it hard to do mondaine activities, that's why your most thankfull to be able to mask your golden scars and repress your aura, yes it was extremely exhausting but it was the only way for you to do normal things.

And it was during those simple moments you meet him.

⋆⁺₊⋆ ━━━━⊱༒︎ • ༒︎⊰━━━━ ⋆⁺₊⋆

You kept your eyes closed swiftly moving around the tables using your heightened perception to not bump into anyone while you holding the tray of drinks in your left hand.

It all happened so quickly you bearly had anytime to react, you crashed into someone your eyes shooting open in panic, the Coffee spiling onto the man's clothes you where thanking god that the liquid wasn't hot, you stumbled back your feet slipping on the liquid that was now onto the ground, you tried to catch yourself but felt your body stopping from crashing to floor, the man was able to act quick and had wrapped his arm around your waist preventing your inevitable tumble to the ground.

The shock completely made any trace of emberesement fade away, you just looked in the strangers eyes that seemed as surprised as you, you quickly moved away from his grasp frantically apologizing waving your hands in all directions, "I am so- SORRY!" you started "i didn't mean to bump into you" you quickly retrieved some paper towels trying to dry his stained hoodie, "it's fine truly you don't have to worry about it" his silky voice snapped you out of your frantic state, "still! Let me make it up to you, that stain won't come off easy I'll get it cleaned for you!" you stated with a new found determination.

"there's no need f-" you cut him off "I insist!" you leaned in brows furrowed clearly not about to give up, he let out a soft sigh before taking of his hoodie passing it to you, a satisfied smile formed on your lips "oh wait, I need a way to contact you to give it back" you quickly looked around and took the marker used for orders from the counter, offering it to him and showing him your arm "here write it on my arm so I don't forget!" he looked at your arm that had a long scar traveling across it, he took hold of your wrist softly, had you been any less oblivious you'd be melting on the ground from his touch alone.

Once he finished writing his number onto you skin he lingered one more second before letting go, "I'm sorry again!" you bowed your head, tho you where still smiling, "I said it was ok already" he let out a chuckle before going to sit with a younger man with light brown hair, he was actually looking your way, so you gave him a little wave, making a soft blush appear on his features.

Your shift was almost over, so you quickly cleaned up the floor and walked back into the staff room taking off the hat now slightly stained of coffee since it fell into the puddle you accidentally made, off your head and the apron.

'something off about him.. I couldn't even feel his presence at all, how weird'

[mrsbsmooth]

Deuces

I just got another ask from one of you lovely people noticing I'm completely MIA from the fandom over the past two seasons. I scrolled through my inbox and while I don't foresee myself replying to every ask, I thought I'd just jump on real quick and let you guys know why I'm not playing any more?

Trying really hard to not make this sound like a 'this isn't an airport you don't need to announce your departure' etc but regardless.

There's not one reason in particular, really. There's multiple. Firstly, and probably most importantly, I'm busy. I've mentioned a few times I've got a kid, and she's now almost two, so you can imagine a lot of my time's being taken up by running around after an active toddler, working, and trying to keep some semblance of a healthy lifestyle. The hours I do have to myself comprise the second reason. I've found something else that challenges me more creatively than writing for LITG does. I know HP isn't everyone's cup of tea but the ship I'm writing has forced me to develop my skills as a writer so much more than I felt I could in LITG, and if I ever want to publish something, I need to focus on things that are challenging me creatively. Reading over my LITG fics, honestly, the haters were right. All my characters are written the same, they have the same dialogue--- to whoever it was that sent me that hate ask like two years ago, hold on to it. You were right. But I've improved. A lot. So thank you, I guess, for putting that in my head and forcing me to be better. Sometimes you gotta let the haters win, because the haters are telling you what you need to hear.

The third reason is probably the biggest, and the one that you guys assumed. I'm bored. I'm bored and disappointed with this game that I so used to love. They keep dropping the same broad-shouldered, skinny-nose character design over and over and over. The same gimmicks and one-dimensional characters and stupid clichés and it's boring. I've seen snippets of great dialogue and some great feedback but overall it's just the same shit again. It's the same lazy storylines, the same forced drama with no basis, the same lame ideas just tied up with a different ribbon, and I'm fucking bored.

I'm probably still gonna play THTH, I'll be honest. I can't see myself missing out on that. But, at least until I see someone I trust assuring me the game's back on track, I'm out. I just don't see the point any more. I still duck in and out of the discords to keep up with people I love but short of the annual Christmas fic exchange I can't see myself writing for LITG again. I'm sorry to disappoint.

My WIPs will stay WIPs. I'm not going to take them down, but I'm also not actively working on them either. I want to finish Unhealthy, but it probably won't be for quite a while. I'm sorry to those who are invested or waiting for updates. I just don't care about it any more, and I don't want to force words when I don't care about them.

I appreciate every single one of you who reached out asking if I was okay. Or everyone who's read one of my fics, sent me an ask, been a fun, welcoming member of this fandom. You are all wonderful. Gorgeous humans, each and every one of you. I love you to pieces and I can't wait for THTH to drop so we can play again.

Love you all.

So much.

Suz (MrsBSmooth / Pearlbracelet)

[lolathelooptyloop]

us against the world, just me & you !!

summary: college! and early 2000s! jackieshauna thoughts. no crash! au

warnings: not proofread at all like at all, at all, very light/implied nsfw, short

a/n: okay i've spent enough time posting random shit, time to fulfill my true calling of making wlw headcanons. i just finished s3 (rip mari ibarra rest in pit 😔) and seeing jackie in her pink and green early '000s housewife fit made me wanna write something where they go to college and live happily ever after. again this is very much not proofread (i literally wrote it in like 20-30 minutes) but enjoy regardless and hopefully i'll post a real fic soon.

so obviously in this universe shauna never slept with jeff or got pregnant, but i think she still had early acceptance into brown university

this obviously caused some ...tension... between her and jackie the summer before college

shauna tried really hard to hide it at first but eventually at a joint family dinner her mom brought it up while jackie was sitting right across the table from her

jackie stayed calm but crashed out after dinner when she and shauna were in private

she wasn't even mad about the acceptance she was just mad shauna kept it from her

"why would you lie to me about that?? you do know i would've been proud of you... right?"

and then shauna starts apologizing but also lowkey bringing up stuff that jackie does that made her feel like she had to keep it a secret because

y'all know my girl loves to not communicate her feelings until it's too much

and jackie starts to realize how they've both been hurting each other and how she really, really doesn't want shauna to leave her and go to brown, which causes some big 90s-romcom-esque moment where she's like "i just don't want to lose you!!"

and in my mind this is where they have their first kiss

some tears, a lot of miscommunication remedy-ing, and one sexuality crisis on jackie's part later, they're a kind of-sort of-official couple

shauna ends up not going to brown anyway because it's so far away from home and all her people

and i feel like this girl is defs a homebody like you saw her being so reluctant to go to that party

when jackie finds out she basically jumps for joy and shauna teases her about it ENDLESSLY

them moving into a dorm together!!

shauna calls van over to paint the walls (#handylesbiansforthewin) and they end up coming out to tai and van first

who obviously are so excited (they knew before jackie and shauna knew)

i think they still would go for a pink and green theme, but jackie would ask shauna more about how she wanted to design the dorm because jackie is trying to ask her opinion more often and shauna is trying to voice her needs instead of exploding with no warning

they end up getting bunk beds, shauna on the top and jackie on the bottom

jackie loves to hang a pretty sheet from the top bunk and hangs fairy lights all over the bedframe

shauna's bed is always made and jackie's bed is always messy (it just makes sense to me that shauna would be the neater one)

usually jackie ends up dragging shauna down to her bunk so that they can cuddle, though.

shauna who takes several classes a day and majors in literature and jackie who can't decide what she wants to do so she does a double major

she also is super active in things like environmental cleanups and art clubs and other random hobbylike events

i think jackie might think about joining a sorority, but decides not to because she thinks the hazing rituals are mean

plus, she wants to keep living with shauna

shauna who is always reading some massive old book or other for her classes and jackie who will randomly get bored and pounce on her, knocking the book from her hand and tickling her

"jax, i gotta finish paradise lost by tomorrow or i'm gonna fail this class!!" "aww, but i wanna make out with you! :("

it usually ends with the book forgotten on the floor while the girls fuck each other on the bed

i definitely feel like jackie is the type to be a d1 math HATER who stopped taking it as soon as she could in high school

and it comes back to bite her in the ass when she ends up having to take more math classes in college

at least shauna is there to help her with her homework

poor jax ends up getting super stressed out when she doesn't grasp the concept and picks at her skin/bounces her leg out of anxiety

my undiagnosed autistic queen

shauna puts a reassuring hand on her knee and kisses her until she calms down

jackieshauna who go to reunion parties with the other yellowjackets!!

a few of them probably also went to rutgers (laura lee and taivan), but they still want to see the other girls from time to time

they usually drink beer and play a friendly game of soccer while they catch up

jackie and shauna would probably also go to a lot of regular college parties, mostly ones that jackie was invited to

shauna will sometimes get really uncomfortable at these parties, she never liked big crowds or loud music

one time jackie found her crying in a bathroom after jackie left her to hang out with some friends

she felt so so bad and did most definitely reassure her by making out with her right there in the random frat boy's bathtub

now they only go to parties if both of them feel up to it

shauna loves to watch jackie do her hair and makeup for the parties and when i tell you that girl FREAKS OUT when jackie puts on a cute little mini dress

literally bi panic the absolute MAX (i can't stop looking at her t-t-t-t-face)

jackie thinks it's super cute and gives her a teasing lil cheek kiss

speaking of kisses, these two become avid early 2000s rom-com watchers

they are SEATED when ten things i hate about you releases in 1999

jackie loves anything silly and lovey-dovey, but some of her favorites are pretty woman and amelie (she does try to learn french just because of the movie)

shauna enjoys them too, but she mostly just likes sitting on the couch with her arm around jackie's waist

jackie goes through a phase where she wants to straighten and dye her hair and shauna gets a nose piercing

they get matching tattoos!!!

jackie is really afraid of the needle but shauna convinces her it will be fine

they probably get something super corny like a moon and earth for "i love you to the moon and back"

jackie goes on to tell everyone that it didn't even hurt that bad (she totally cried)

they also get pets after a few years in college for sure

maybe in their junior or senior year, when they're both in their early 20s and financially stable enough to support animals

shauna gets an orange cat and jackie gets... you guessed it... a bunny

the cat was named "sherlock" by shauna after sherlock holmes (she loves mystery novels and no one can convince me otherwise)

the bunny is named "daisy princess shipman-taylor" by jackie

the two pets fight a lot at first but slowly grow to really love each other

the day the two end up cuddling up to sleep is considered a personal victory by the girls

"look babe it's us!!" -jackie

the two of them looove taking their pets out in those cheesy lil strollers to the mall and taking "family photos" together in crappy photo booths

the booths are really just an excuse to make out, but shauna still keeps all the photo strips tucked away safely in her nightstand.

well, that's all i've got for now! i hope you liked it, and if you did maybe drop a note to support a teenage author, if you please? it really does mean a lot. anyway, i'm so glad that this is the canon thing that happened in the show and no one died or got eaten, no one at all!! <333

[makeyoumine69]

Hello dear people in my beloved American Psycho fandom! I couldn't force myself to write this post because I didn't know how to do it, but I think now is the right time. I promised myself not to bring personal stuff into my writing, but since one thing affects another, I think I should finally speak up.

This year started pretty bad for me, I was suffering from a huge apathy and my mental health was probably in the worst state in the last few years. I had to cut ties with a lot of people and distance myself, and I'm really sorry for doing that, but I had no choice because I was literally dying from the inside. When I came back to Tumblr in 2022, I was absolutely alone and I had no friends, no followers and in some ways I felt calm and peaceful. I always thought and probably still think that I should be alone and isolated from everyone, like a soulless writing machine just producing fanfictions for people to consume. Maybe this is not a bad thing, because interacting with people always carries the risk of getting bruised?

Anyway, the thing that broke me completely was the news I received in the last days of January that I would be fired in February because my company decided to close the project I was working on due to the high inflation and bad economic situation in Russia. So now I have to find a job within February because I have a lot of financial responsobilities like paying for the medical treatment my family is getting. My grandmother was diagnosed with kidney cancer and her surgery was paid for by me and my fiancé, but the medicine costs a lot, so… after I told my mom about my news, she blamed me for everything. I was not really surprised though, considering that I have been having fights with my whole family for the past few months over different topics, but mostly they hate me for my political opinions. Whenever I say that I am tired of the war, sanctions and all the other stuff that 2022 has brought, they call me a fucking traitor. My family is ready to cancel me just because I told them I was tired of living in isolation, that I had even forgotten what my life was like before the war. My fiancé is literally the only person in my family who supports me, and even though I'm going to lose my job, he told me he would do anything for me, for us, but I don't want to be a burden. I'm really scared about the future, I think I really am now.

So, I'm sorry for not finishing the Christmas fics I promised to post, I'll try to finish them soon. Also, I'm sorry for not being active with fulfilling the requests and replying to your asks. I'm really sorry. And I know some of you might think that why I keep writing new series and working on different stuff while I have WIPs I need to finish—I'm just trying to follow my muse and I can say that it's really unstable these days, but I'm really trying to do my best and deliver something good for all of you!

I also want to thank all of you who have supported me with your donations! It means the world to me! Unfortunately, my account on the platform I was using for donations has been suspended because of… DOLLARS! They think I'm a scammer or something because the dollar is such a cursed currency in Russia right now, so I don't know if they'll unban my account, I hope they will.

Okay, that was longer than I thought it would be. To end this crazy rant, I just want to thank you guys for sticking with me no matter how fucked up I might be! I believe that one day I will find my way back to myself so that I can come back strong and refreshed!

[viki23spots]

I'm happy that you got excited, @cryingoverdeadgaywizzards . So, here it is, I would appreciate feedback!

P.S. I edited it again before posting it and I like it even more now, so thanks for that! Also, please, if you see any mistakes, or a sentence sounds weird, tell me. I want to improve my english and my writing. Thank you!

Edit: I wrote a second chapter, working on the third.

What draws me to you by Viki23spots on AO3. Just be aware that I have locked it for guests and users only, since there are bots going around.

James sat on the floor, while looking at two reds, one slightly darker than the other. He couldn't, for the life of him, see which was the one Sirius wanted. He had a picture of the package, sure, but they both looked like the correct shade.

"Ugh, why did I agree to this?" He whined, while getting up from the floor.

He stepped towards the counter, done with Sirius' perfectionism. The last time he bought him the wrong shade, Sirius actively ranted for the next half an hour and kept rubbing it in for a whole week! Even as he left earlier today Sirius reminded him "not to get the wrong colour". Not shade, colour.

He sighed, rubbing his nose, his glasses slightly lifting off his face. James was tired. The only reason he agreed to this errand was because if he tried to write even one more word, he would go crazy.

It wasn't enough that he had an essay due soon in almost every class, but he also got an assignment in creative writing. Normally he loved those, but right now it was too overwhelming.

He snapped back to the present, stopping in his tracks. The person behind the counter was both gorgeous and the spitting image of his best friend. His hair was shorter, frame smaller, face softer, but the differences mostly ended there.

James just gaped, shamelessly starting at the stranger, who lifted his gaze from whatever he was doing and turned it towards him.

"Can I help you?" His voice was deeper than James expected.

"I'm having trouble picking the correct shade." He fished his phone from his pocket and showed the picture to the pretty cashier. "They both look like they could be the correct one."

The boy behind the counter squinted his eyes at the screen, picking up one of the bottles. He zoomed in on the picture, mumbling something under his breath and looking, first at the bottle in his hand, then at the other one.

"It's this one." He picked up the other shade. "The name of the colour is written on the bottom. Can I help you with anything else?"

James almost missed the question. He was preoccupied with studying the beautiful stranger. High cheek bones, pale complexion, grey eyes.

He looks so much like Sirius.

But he looked different, too. Straight nose, instead of slightly crooked. A softer jawline, although it still looked like it could cut glass.

"Uhh..."

"Excuse me?" A woman appeared next to him and the pretty cashier directed his attention to her.

James, you moron!

At the same moment his phone rang. The moment he picked up James knew he had to go.

"Prongs, where are you?!" Sirius was as melodramatic as always. "I need that paint now!"

"Calm down, Padfoot, I'm just waiting to pay." James sighed, a slight smile on his face.

As much as Sirius annoyed him sometimes, it wouldn't be him without the theatrics. And he loved him for that.

"Don't tell me to calm down! I'm out of paint and out of time. I won't be able to finish on time if you don't get your ass here right now!"

"Okay, fine. Be there in ten." James sighed, done with life.

The end of the academic year also meant the end of his sanity. Every year it got worse, but he thought this year was the pinnacle of it all.

"Your friend is an artist, I presume?"

James looked at the boy behind the counter, a smile spreading across his face.

"Yeah, a pretty good one. He's done with all of his projects, but he's making stage costumes for a gig and he started too late, so... Yeah." James bit his lip, realizing he started rambling again.

"Hm, this one is a good choice, if you want it to last." He grabbed the incorrect shade and went to put it back on the shelf. "Anything else, besides the paint?"

James watched him as he moved around the shop. His movements were graceful. Maybe too graceful.

"No, thank you." He pulled out his debit card and paid.

James picked up the paint, but instead of going to the rescue of his dramatic best friend, he leaned on the counter, trying to find the right words.

"Is something the matter?" The beautiful cashier asked, tilting his head slightly.

"Well..." Get it together. "Can I get your insta? You know, in case there is something wrong with the paint."

You are an idiot, James Fleamont Potter.

The person behind the counter blinked, then a smirk appeared on his face. James wanted the floor to swallow him whole.

"If it's just for the paint, then no, you can't." He leaned on the counter as well, shortening the distance between them, his smirk widening.

James pursed his lips, feeling his face heat up. "Um- No, not just because of the paint."

"And what would be the reason then?" The cashier leaned even closer, looking James up and down, his smirk turning into an amused smile.

"Uh, well- There is another reason, of course there is another reason-" He was officially blushing, struggling with his words. "I- I would like to get- to get to know you."

"Is that so?"He leaned even closer, only centimeters away from James' face, before pulling back and getting his phone out. "There."

James took it, the app already opened on the search engine, taping his username, before giving it back.

The boy followed him before scrolling down. "Well, James, you should get that paint to your friend." He cooed, before disappearing into the back room.

James stood dumbfounded, before his phone rang again. He was out the door before having a chance to pick up.