#And struggling to get out the door
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@gray-morality
A little masterpost with all my fancy little mashups so far, you can get them for free here!
#[ mods ]#Oh my I can see Fakhri wearing some of these#And struggling to get out the door#Because Seda
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I will admit I'm a little salty that people, in an effort to prove that there is no good dialogue in Veilguard at all, keep comparing mission exposition to the high point narrative set pieces of prior games. I agree that some of the writing related to plot mechanics and mission exposition in Veilguard is a little too utilitarian, but that doesn't mean none of the dialogue is good or that prior games didn't also sometimes have this issue here and there.
I also generally dislike when people put the bar for good writing — and all writing too, not even just dialogue writing, ALL writing — at mic-drop sentences that still sound good completely divorced from context, because that really just reduces "good writing" down to like fake-deep philosophizing or witty quips exclusively. sometimes, a really good bit of dialogue sounds like a completely normal sentence out of context.
#Also writing includes what's on the screen! The castling scene is good writing! Rook struggling to hold onto the statues AND the dagger?#The Siege of Weisshaupt is good writing! It is writing when Rook opens those doors to see Ghilan'nain and realizing oh this is....#Blood of Arlathan! But like just going back to dialogue writing#I think a lot about that INCREDIBLE bit of dialogue in Psych where Shawn say “Since I met you‚ I've been thinking about getting a car.”#Which is a perfectly normal sentence out of context but it makes me so warm bc I know the context#“That he forgives me. And that I deserve it.” is an INCREDIBLE moment that NEEDS its context#“What did we sign up for?” “Love‚ I think.” is another one#But even if we were to just go for Veilguard lines that are still great out of context? It has those?#I see all of you into “There is no fate but the love we share” which IS a great quote#“He is loyal to nothing but his own fears” and “The gods! They give strength but all they ask in return is everything”#“Regret is even strong enough to serve as the lock on a prison built to hold gods. But such a prison can hold any captive... even you.”#“Everything dies. People‚ cities‚ empires. Fashions. Your favorite song. Things fade and are forgotten. [cont.]#Why would you want to outlast everything you love? It sounds like a terrible fate.”#“Do you really think something inside you has changed?” “It's possible. Or maybe we're the same. But does that mean we'll BE the same?”#“The cost of mercy is too high when others may die in its wake.”#and so on and so on and that's just stuff I remember off the top of my head#DATV things
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Watching The Corkscrew Job and just ...
Eliot trusting Parker and Hardison enough to go into a situation where he's about to have no oxygen. He would hear over the comms that they're facing down henchmen who are trying to stop them. He doesn't know how long it'll take for them to get air flow happening again.
But there's an innocent person to protect and he has faith in his partners. Faith enough to willingly risk his life time and time again - not just in this instance, but all the others we see over the course of the show. Because Eliot knows that Parker and Hardison will do whatever it takes to protect him, just as he protects them.
There's just something so profound about not even having enough air to draw breath - but it doesn't matter, because you know your partners are out there, fighting to get that next breath to you. And it might take longer than expected. It might not go smoothly, hell, it might not even work at all. But it doesn't matter because your faith in these people is greater than the instincts screaming for oxygen.
Eliot can't breathe without them. But he's used to that - he's been living this way for years already. So he holds his breath and trusts.
#eliot spencer#parker leverage#alec hardison#leverage#the corkscrew job#parker#leverage ot3#the way parker and hardison gasp for air themselves once they get those doors open#not because they're struggling to breathe but because they know eliot can now breathe#they're breathing with him#and they know what it's like to run out of air#hardison more than anyone#so they know the value of that sweet oxygen when it rushes in#they understand the depth of faith that eliot places in them#and they would give their lives to uphold that faith#i just have a lot of emotions over this scene okay#my posts
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雁回时 The Glory ep. 18 // 30
#雁回时#the glory#asiandramanet#asiandramasource#dailyasiandramas#cdramasource#cdramagifs#cdramanet#dramasource#gifshistorical#cdrama#chen duling#jielin's edits#my posts#it's friday and finally getting around to making this... pls i downloaded 5gb episodes for this which took hours#ofc yhs is far from the story hlht is. and cxt's take on patriarchal figures tend to be more simplistic#like. zhy and her dad's relationship is not meant to be complicated at all. she doesn't really struggle with her hatred for him#and zsy's evilness comes from a very believable place but he's not a complex character. he's almost an caricatural villain#it's all in favour of focusing entirely on his female characters and their relationships with each other. which is fine#even if i would have loved something greyer / less black & white with their relationship#but i still like thinking of hlht/yhs being in conversation of its father/child narratives. there can be smth meaningful#(-> literally the highest honour i can give to yhs come on...)#the door motif is literally there... the threshold of the grounds that trap them inside together.#the father chose to close the door on the child. and one day the child will hold the power to the door and deny their fathers#can't think of a better way for zsy to meet his end but for his own daughter - who he had left betrayed and devastated out in the snow#as he sought refuge in his own home as a coward - to lock him up and trap him in that same home where he had also similarly trapped#many other women - and left him to his own devices (be murdered/have his murder instigated by those women)#otoh she gets to walk away from this house.#the sheer craziness also that the manor is literally named 幽居. 10/10#that ep 18 ending scene THE PEAK...
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okay but Kenji literally dislocating his shoulder and seeming unbothered/somewhat used to the pain in chaos theory season 2 is giving ehlers-danlos... just sayin...
#also since pots is often a comorbitity it would make sense#plus i headcanon him as having pots#just leave me aloneeeeee#i was at the spa today and REALLY struggling with dizziness#which i think is to do with pots#and anyway the heat was getting to me and i was so dizzy#and i was just imagining#hmm what would the camp fam be saying to help Kenji out?#get up niiiiiiice and slow#sit up. wait. stretch your legs. wait. sit up straighter. wait. slowly stand holding the door. wait. walk out#the hyperfix is BAD guys /silly /nsrs#ehlers danlos syndrome#hypermobile ehlers danlos#hypermobile joints#i am disabled and shit before you guys ask#pots syndrome#postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome
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i'm sorry, but lila going in depth about enzo's cart (in english nonetheless) in her secret notebooks + enzo's introduction in book 2 stating that lila has had a liking for him since childhood. i just loveee how it's not this overstated romance, it isn't necessarily going in that direction at all at this point, but it's still such a Statement, and such a fitting one at that, to have her practice a new language on something as prosaic and essential as enzo's fruit and vegetable cart. it feels very grounded and that's always incredibly touching to me. it's a bridge between something enzo is doing strictly for survival and what used to be the only declaration of affection from a boy in lila's life for a long time. enzo's fruit selling business underlines the true nature of earning money (which he would have been conscious of way earlier than elena and lila), but lila decides to focus on that exact cart in her involuntary outbursts of creativity and determination to keep up with elena. the point i am trying to make is that lila and elena have always saw money and writing as interconnected, but their idea of money wasn't the kind of money that enzo is familiar with. so to have lila write about something that is representative of the more tangible, rather tiring reality of making a living, and to have her do that unprompted, purely in the form of description, is blindingly endearing to me. it's bringing the dream and the privilege of studying (+ that childlike excitement and innocent romantic fulfilment lila feels exiled from and associates with enzo's gift) on the same level as the actuality of everyday challenges and that's exactly what the relationship between lila and enzo eventually amounts to.
it's also... so... moving to me how lila writes about the tools rino and fernando use in the shoe shop and how that admiration clearly is the root of her admiring enzo's equivalent of this and how book 1 ending is so loud about the way work has shaped lila's hands (stefano makes this exact observation too out of false admiration that lila senses as adjacent to her own and so much of her faith in stefano resides in this sentiment, this acknowledgement of her and her family as they are) and how this is brutally mutilated for her once marcello makes his big entrance that is only big to lila (and elena) and how she gets to restore this feeling in enzo.
#I HATE BEING THIS PERSON BUT I LOVEEEEE HOW MUNDANE IT IS. it's quiet and consistent and a big deal exactly because it doesn't make#a big deal out of itself. you can easily miss that because we get lila and enzo in flashes coloured by elena's reception of them#but the indisputable truth is that they spent days months YEARS in each other's orbit doing completely ordinary things#things that were deeply rooted in a shared struggle to survive. they work so hard on some days they don't get to see each other#it's So. Important. especially in relation to the studying/money conversations#i can talk about them forever. as individuals and as a partnership#not being verbose number 1 enzo scanno quality to meeeee. but that's a different essay#i mean not just verbose his tone isn't overflowing with emotion either. elena even describes it as unmindful#that + marcello who bursts out crying and smooth tongued stefano and later nino#nobody will write a poem and put enzo scanno in it and thank god for that. you will find a nino and a stefano and a donato in them#but they can't be appealing unless they're fictitious#about the last paragraph... you know when lila helps stefano put on the shoes and then in the show she helps enzo take his off...#ferranteposting#otp: diagram of the door opening#dylanlila.mp3#mbf summer#l'amica geniale#lila cerullo 🫀
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guess who went from having a bad day to being made a key-holder and getting a raise!! this gal!! did you know i thought i was doing a bad job somehow!!
#when my manager told me to shut the door i was STRESSED!! but it turns out i worry needlessly 24/7 and we knew this :’ )))#i dunno i always worry i’m not doing enough but the only criticism my manager had was to be more confident and that’s so fair#i’ve always struggled with that#but it just was a big relief and again i’m very thankful for my current work environment#like i was told to go take a break just now 😭 what do you mean you don’t want me to keep pushing 😭#it’s the fatigue making me weepy but i could cry fr rn#okay i’ll stop rambling now asdfg i just needed to gush bc it took me by surprise completely and i needed that lil boost :’ ))#i hope everyone is having a good day too!! mwah mwah!!#get ready to ramble | ooc
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Dear Lucifer
Taglist: @lost-in-time-wanderer, @fuzztacular, @dianedancer18, @sweetbrier2908, @flare-love, @completelyshatteredbrokenmschf, @thunderlightning351, @l3v1chan, @anxious-chick, @5mary5, @expressionless-fr
#obey me shall we date#obey me lucifer#obey me mc#obey me solomon#obey me brothers#lucifer sticks the note in his pocket#finishes brewing his coffee#pours the drink into a mug#and heads to his office.#after making sure that the door is locked#and that the room is magically soundproofed#he sits down at his desk and starts crying.#and he doesn't just shed a couple of tears.#he's actually sobbing.#like heart-wrenching and struggling to breathe type of sobbing#once he gets it all out of his system#he cleans up and collects himself#because someone has to be the strong one#and it can't be any of his brothers.
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turns out chronic disability means you're disabled chronically. more shocking news at 11.
#this post brought to you by#the struggle i keep having with realizing exactly how bad things have gotten#it's been a downward trend since at the latest 2017 and i'm...#not handling the distress about that super well right now#like i know it started earlier than that but things really kicked off around then#and just.... it just keeps getting worse i keep not being able to things i know i used to be able to do#whether or not i should have listened to my body and not done them previously is in fact irrelevant#because i did them anyway#and now i can't hardly... it's...#i'm like. really looking forward to going to the dunes next weekend#partially to be out of the house for a significant length of time to do a solely fun set of activities (specifics unknown)#and partially just to feel like i've done *something* to earn the days i'm going to need to take to recover#it's.... it's not always a thing i really am concerned with because i honestly don't mind staying home a lot#it's just when i *want* to leave i can't and that's... that's harder#i mean it's mostly cabin fever i'll be real i'm probably just feeling a little cooped up#but it's not MY fault the entire out of doors wants me dead and unable to breathe#i *want* to be outside but the outside hates me specifically#so i gotta be careful about it
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My roommate and I had a conversation last night and I keep rotating it in my brain and I Don’t Like It
#blue chatter#they called me a resilient person. and no the fuck I am not. I break down so easily over everything and my body is falling apart on me.#I scream in terror when someone knocks on the door too hard the fuck you mean I’m good at handling adversity#I pointed out that I freak out whenever my grade gets low even a little bit#and they were just sitting there like ‘yeah. and then you pick yourself up again and you do the work.’#and no? not always? oftentimes I give up and don’t try hard enough to fix it and let points go that I could have earned#I barely ever go for extra credit opportunities and I’ve never gone to office hours of my own free will#I can’t even think about talking to a professor about a bad grade without wanting to cry? hello?#but they were insistent that even with those things I am still managing Incredibly Well in class given the circumstances. which made me#uncomfortable. like. I don’t think of myself as resilient At All and I feel a bit like I’m lying or tricking them.#I start shaking like a chihuahua when people are upset and I’m In The Vicinity. even when they’re clearly not upset with me.#I really struggle to advocate for myself ever and even when I do I usually feel guilty and walk it back partway so I don’t cause a fight#and I always get way too emotional for the situation when someone has anything they’re upset with me for. which isn’t fair to them bc I need#to be able to take constructive criticism without taking it as a personal attack on me.#like what the fuck do you mean *resilient*. I can’t even handle seeing a bug flying near my face or getting a B in a class. or being told#that I did something wrong. I’m actually significantly worse at handling adversity than I used to be. high school me was a resilientish kid.#and it’s not like I was ever *good* at handling my emotions. even when it was essential for my safety. I’ve always cried way too easily#even when it actively made the situation I was in Much Worse. even when I knew better.#I would get angry and scared and sad and start shaking and crying and even screaming at my parents when they were mad at me even though#I knew that it would always make my life much worse. and extend an already beleaguered argument.#I brought this up with my therapist and she was like ‘well. anybody would have done that if they were treated like you were’.#which. okay. maybe so. I still feel like I should have been able to handle it and just shut up and move on and not make it worse.#but I am aware that this is probably a cognitive distortion. even so. that definitely doesn’t make me resilient.#I just. I feel gross being called resilient. I’m not. I’m weak and easily scared and unable to handle even small amounts of adversity.#the fuck is my roommate even *seeing*.#the annoying part is that they’re generally an insightful person about other people and I know logically that they’re probably right#which is why I’m not going to complain any more about this to their face bc I should just drop it and not make it a Thing#I talk too much about myself and my problems anyway. not every conversation has to be about my brain worms.#but the discomfort is Distinct and Unpleasant. and now I’m just having to sit with it. and Feel Uncomfortable. and try to accept what was#definitely intended as a compliment. I know it’s draining to talk to someone who doesn’t accept any of the kind things you say about them.
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Hi!! I’ve never had a pet snake so this might be a dumb question but is it harder for snakes to see when they’re in blue?
It's not dumb, snake eyesight is different from our own so we can't assume they see exactly how or what we do. For the longest time people believed they couldn't see red, and used red lights to light their enclosures at night- that's bad for them. Please do not light your snake like a rotisserie chicken, they can see it. Red light can be detrimental to reptiles because it can make it difficult for them to perceive depth, which can lead to mental distress. Red light bulbs can mess with your pet's ability to tell if it is day or night, since a light is always on, and that can cause stress and health and long term sight issues too.
But back to your original question, yes, snakes have difficulty seeing when they are in blue. Many will stay buried and hidden, not even eating until they've completely shed. That is the norm, and if a snake wants to be left alone, they should be. Sakura will hide most of the time, but I'll sometimes see the tip of her nose near a burrow hole, and I'll dangle something tasty in front of it and she'll eat it- but I won't dig her up if she's having alone time. Scoria will hide unless I'm around- they both know my voice and scent, and Scoria has complete trust in me so much that even when blind she knows I'll keep her safe.
She allowed me to take her out and feed her today, and then asked for pets. This behavior is unique to her, and if she were not specifically asking to be pet I would not do it after feeding (any other snake might throw up). I'd stop petting her and she'd ask again and again like, "Nope! Need more, come back and pet me." I really don't mind, she's found a way to tell me she enjoys being pet, and that's amazing- and also makes me happy. After many many pets (I guess we had a few days to make up for, I've been leaving her alone for the most part, only saw she was in blue, and then it was food day and saw her looking at me from her mossy hide) she buried herself underground in her bioactive area.
Perhaps some day Sakura will trust me to touch her while she's in blue too- but if not that's just fine. Sometimes we all need a few days to ourselves.
Oh, and don't feel bad asking snake blogs questions. It makes us happy when we get nonbot or spam asks! I imagine most of us love sharing about our snakes! And if sharing what I've learned helps lead a snake and their caretaker to a better life or bond then they would have had before, that's such a win for everyone!
#Snakes#shedding#in blue#hognoses#reptiles#Scoria is the most loving trusting baby#She rarely hisses and usually does it to say no#The other day I wasn't sure if she was thirsty and while holding her lowered my hand into her pool so she had an opportunity to drink#She gave a little hiss “no!”#So I took her out. Communication successful. We cuddled a bit before she asked to go back in her enclosure#Sakura wants very much to be social#she is overcoming crippling fear of people#And my goodness she has been so good and so brave#She learns by watching her sister#She saw me hold my hand protectively over Scoria (like a cave) and Scoria nuzzle it#Scoria will often curl into a cinnamon roll under my hand and nuzzle me while we both relax together#our happiest moments are with each other#Sakura saw this and tried to understand#So she asked to come out and actually went into my hand (usually she likes the door open so she can dangle and look around)#And then she went under my hand for about five seconds to try to see what we were doing#She is so shy and skittish so I'm proud she found the bravery to do it at all#She immediately got scared and asked to go back to her enclosure#I did it immediately as knowing they can go back any time helps them feel safer and will want to come out more#Rather than have a scary memory of being trapped and unable to get back home#She asked to come out later and I had her out about five minutes and when I TRIED to put her back she wrapped around my hand!#She wanted to spend more time with me!!!!#She WANTED more time with me#As someone who has been struggling to reach this frightened shy girl#There are no words for what I felt in that moment#I must never break her trust she's worked so hard to get
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What the fuck do you mean Tenna acts extremely similar to Anomaly Ben I can't do THIS IM GOING INSANE
I'll rant in the tags
#benny.txt#no because both have such huge rejection sensitivity#anomaly ben is the type of guy to literally hold people hostage to keep playing their games#because finally someone acknowledges his existence#he doesnt remember everything or anything for that matter#only vague details he can't even spell out#also both are working for a higher power who is clearly manipulating them and using their struggles against them#anomaly ben falls into that pitfall#and faces those consequences ultimay#anomaly is so desperate for “playing” and “attention”#he will get it even if it means holding people hostage with his doors#also anomaly uses tvs to sometimes get around
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This is why I hate telling people when I’m struggling bc all of a sudden everyone’s got a fucking opinion about everything I’m doing wrong and starts treating me like they think im a child that is just acting out because she needs discipline
#‘yeah I didn’t do much today :(‘#‘oh so you laid around all day. you know you’re acting just like your mother :)’#‘next time you need to get out okay :)))))))’#nah don’t ask why I didn’t do much today#it sure wasn’t because I was crying off and on for six hours from waking#and then I didn’t stand at the door with my coat and shoes on begging myself to go out for just a minute before having a panic attack#I had PLANS for today that im really frustrated I didn’t accomplish#but yeah I’m just letting the depression win bc I’m lazy#why the fuck does everyone seem to think i’m not trying#everyone’s a goddamn mental health advocate until you’re actually struggling then it’s because you WANT to be sad#and they refuse to ‘encourage that behavior’ by giving you any concession whatsoever
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Trying to get my exhausted ass to get ready and go to cardiac rehab. It starts in like an hour but I'm tiiiiired aaaauuuugggghhhhhhh
#mod post#so sore and tired#and for the last month i've had jon here every Wednesday to help me get ready and out the door#but he's on day shift this week so he's not here#even tho he helped prep a breakfast for me and set out clothes for me... even with that level of help i am struggling#also Tiny Tim is on my lap which does not help
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not me having cereal as a mid-afternoon snack because I didn't for breakfast
#personal crap#in my defence i had to be up for work at 6.30am and i struggle to get myself out the door at that time let alone have breakfast#on a related note my friend said the other day he thinks cereal is really bad food and i disrespectfully disagree
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it’s so beautiful when strangers come together to commit a minor crime 🫶
#shoutout to the french man who witnessed me and two other stressed out tourists struggling to figure out how to get bus passes#and went ‘oh non fuck that’ and forced the kiosk door open so we could go thru without paying#god bless#parker posts
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