#BUT I WANNA PICK IT APART DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THAT YOU'RE NOT MAKING SENSE?

[rosefantasy77]

can you do a Malachi/ y/n smut. Where she’s feeling sick and he comforts her by you know what. I love your Malachi smut it’s so good !

Feel Better

—Summary: You're feeling down on yourself so Malachi helps you feel better

—Warning: Small language, lots of fluff at the end, Malachi being cute, little angst, smut, p n v sex, unprotected sex, soft sex

—Song: Treat You Better; Shawn Mendes

Social media was not your happy place right now. It wasn’t the best thing to look at right now. You weren’t feeling the best. You were already feeling down on today.

It’s only a Friday. You weren’t feeling the best. You weren’t sure why. This week you have been hanging out with Malachi. You had a couple post with him. Once they were posted, they were going crazy.

Next day, you saw the comments. Talking about how you never get out. How your a pick me, just because you’re with someone as special as Malachi. It broke your heart. The one that hurt the most was “he’ll leave you when he’s done with you.”

It didn’t warm your heart. You were really upset. You didn’t understand it. It was really frustraiting.

It didn’t make any sense to you. You have always been in love with Malachi. He has always been by your side.

Even with acting. You weren’t the best of acting. Really, it wasn’t your thing. You would rather be at home, being a social media influence. Today is not one of those days.

You didn't feel like yourself. You didn't wanna do anything. You weren't feeling yourself. You just wanted today to pass.

It was only 1:30 in the afternoon. You just wanted to end this misery. It was already getting the worst of you. You just wanted Malachi next to you.

He isn't here yet. Malachi doesn't even know how you're feeling. He told you he would be at your place soon. You are only living by your side. It's always a treat with Malachi visits.

Waiting on Malachi, you just decided to fix you something to eat. Who are you kidding? You don't feel like eating. You're feeling down on your self.

You might as well just drown your sorrows. That's what you're doing right now. You were in your room: eating a tub of ice cream and watching YouTube.

You didn't even hear Malachi come in. You've been crying your eyes out. Malachi could see it. He just got you a small coke from Sonic.

He was so happy to see you. granted, it's only been a couple days. And, you texted each other at 4:00 a.m. in the morning. But, Malachi is always sweet to you.

You could never ask for anything better. But, right now, you want to kill yourself. You just wanted to end your life. Quit everything. Everyone is right. Malachi can do better than you.

When Malachi arrived at your apartment, he heard soft sniffles. He doubted they are from you. Turns out, they really are. He can here you all the way from the living room.

He rushed to your room. Wondering what is going on. He knocked on the door, and opened it. You were in one of his hoodies. Chocolate ice cream in your hand and fingers. Eyes red and white tears pouring from the stress and sadness.

Malachi's heart broke. He couldn't believe this was happening. He doesn't even know what going on. He is already feeling sorry. His heart shattered into a million pieces.

"Babe?" Malachi asked. You could hear the heartbreak in his voice. "Angel, what's wrong? Did something happen that I don't know about?"

"Am I good enough for you?" You asked, tears pouring down your face.

"What? Where would you get an idea about that?" Malachi asked.

Malachi didn't understand what was happening. He didn't understand why you are saying this stuff.

Yesterday, you were happy. Being clingy. Wanting to get dinner. Watch a movie. Cuddle up with each other and talk about life. Scroll on YouTube and TikTok. Doing dances together. This doesn't make sense.

"Malachi, you can do so much better than me. Their are 10,000 girls in the world, and you choose me. Say you wanna be with me forever. Soon, you realize you wanna break up with me. And used me." You poured tears out.

Malachi started having tears in his eyes. This broke your heart. You didn't understand where this is coming from. His heart is aching for you.

"Baby, baby, baby, what's going on? Tell me what happened! I wanna know what happened. Did I do or say something?" Malachi questioned.

"Remember that TikTok we did yesterday?" You reminded him. Malachi nodded his head. "Comments rolled in this morning. Saying that I am no good for you. You should dump me, take advantage of me. Whatever you wanna do."

This broke Malachi even more. He hated hearing these words. He pulled you in for a hug. He wrapped his arms around your waist. He reached his hand under your sweater. Creating small circles on your waist.

"Y/n, angel, I could never leave you. You're the most important thing I have ever received. You are a gift. You're a blessing. Don't listen to those people. They're jealous 'cause they don't realize how lucky I am to have you." Malachi explained.

Those words warmed your heart. A small smile creeped up on your lips. You don't know how Malachi does it.

It doesn't make sense how he makes you feel better. You couldn't ask it for anything better.

"Come here."

Malachi opened his arms for you. You jumped in them. It felt nice being in his arms. This is where you feel safe. Malachi is your safe place.

You pulled away. Looking into his brown eyes. You saw the love in his eyes. Maybe even the little lust. "You promise you mean that?"

"Every word."

Malachi pulled you in for a kiss. It was just meant for a small kiss. But, the taste of chocolate and your flavor brushed on his lips. He needs. Wants more of it.

"God, you look so good in this." Malachi breathed against your neck.

His lips sucked on your neck. His hands went further up your sweater. Resting right under your right breast. You leaned back, Malachi sucking that sweet spot. Making it easier for him.

"Malachi." You whispered; hands clenching in his hair.

Just like that, your core was dripping. The things Malachi does to you. The way he acts.

Just the way he makes you feel. He can do anything and get you on your hands and knees for him.

Malachi pulled away from your neck. Just looking at you. Your bedroom eyes. Looking into them so carefully. The way your breath has picked up.

He took off your sweater. Revealing your white push up bra. Just in your shorts and bra. He took off his black wife-beater. Looking at you in awe. He leaned down to your ear. Making you shiver.

"I wanna make love to you. I wanna show you how much I love you."

You closed your eyes. Nodding your head in response. Slowly, but surely, you laid down on your bed. Malachi taking control.

He got up to remove his clothing. You helping him in return. His hands did wonders to your body. Sending shivers down your spine.

Soon of all, both of you were bare and nude in front of each other. Each eye contact was like the last.

Lustful. Love. Full of trust.

Malachi slowly slid into your entrance. Your wet walls making it easier for him. You moaned as he slid into you. It was how it's always been.

Starts off in pain. Therefore, it's been a while since the two of you have done this. But, it's like every time. If not, even better than it has been.

You looked away from Malachi. The pleasure taking control. Malachi hitting that spot. The spot that always knows it's him. The perfect spot to know that he is in love with him.

Malachi wants to see you. he wants to see your beautiful eyes look into him. The eyes he fell in love with since the beginning. The eyes he has always been in love with.

"Y/n, look at me." You could't. You tried. But, the pleasure was too much. It felt so good. "Y/n, look at me."

As Malachi said, you looked at him. His brown eyes staring into yours. He pressed his forehead against yours. His breath picking up as you clench around him every couple seconds.

"Move with me." Malachi breathed.

The bed gasped as Malachi went deeper. Causing you to whimper at the over-simulation. Your breath picked up as Malachi hit your g-spot. The spot that made you see stars.

You could feel your end near. So could Malachi. You did't want it to end so close. You just wanted to enjoy the moment with him.

"Come on, baby. Let it go." Malachi accepted.

"Wait, M-Malachi. I just want it to last a little longer." You whimperd.

Malachi nodded his head in agreement. He went a little slower. Making you feel the pleasure a little longer.

That just did it for you. You were close again. And finally ready.

"God, Malachi, I am so close."

Without hesitation, you came. The last thrust from Malachi made you cum. Your breathing died down. Your heart beating in sync with Malachi.

Malachi pulled out of you. Laying down right beside you. Pulling you closer to him. He kissed your shoulder.

Massaging your breast. Giving you sweet kisses. On your fingers. Each one he said what he loves about you.

"You know, I will love you, Y/n. Nothing and no one can change."

You nodded your head. "I know."

Malachi moved your chin with his index finger and his thumb. His brown eyes looking into your eyes.

"Understand?"

"I understand."

Malachi smiled. Giving you a soft, but passionate kiss. For the rest of the day, it was only you and Malachi.

Nothing and no one else mattered.

[ratbastarddotfuck]

the curse of seeing an absurd, single-line discourse post with thousands of notes from a popular, highly reactive user with a strong parasocial following, & wanting to meticulously pick apart every logical fallacy in the (again just one line, still absurd) post while also not wanting to let this nonsense spend time in my head rent free and also knowing (based on the experiences of friends and other users with this particular person) that were I to respond in this way I'd likely just end up on the wrong end of a harassment campaign no matter how genuine and openly I tried to approach the topic

[jsmainblog]

taking it slow - spencer reid ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

spencer reid x inexperienced!reader (established relationship)

requests are always open <3

❤️‍🔥smut

a/n: this is the first time i've ever written a smut like full oneshot which i wrote awhile ago so if this sucks im really sorry squad

warnings: 18+, fingering, mentions of sex

In the midst of your lovers absence (surprise! surprise! he has another case across the other side of the country!!!) you decided that you were going to have sex with him. The thought of it initially was shocking to you even. This abrupt decision was spurred on after chatting to your friend who was throughly shocked that Spencer hasn't gone past heavy makeout sessions with you and a little over the clothes groping (is this because he's a man or is this because you guys have been dating to the point where you guys having sex is assumed? you couldn't determine). So you decided you were going to get it over and done with. After all you were a virgin in every sense of the word even if you despise the concept of it. So flash forward a couple of days you lay in bed on your nightly phone call with Spencer.

"So is there anything else you wanna tell me about?" he inquires

"Yes" you declared

"Really now?"

"Yes really Spencer. I've decided that when you get back I'm going to have sex with you."

"Woah there sweetheart. Lets slow down a little okay? So over my 2 week absence you have came to this little revelation of yours?" he says sounding shocked and amused.

"Yes."

"Why? I mean like yeah I kinda understand that people do feel a need to have sex to be closer with one another even if its just us wanting to go through the actions of reproducing without consequences. But are you sure you want to do that its a little sudden don't you think?" he explains gently

"I do want to do it" you say insistently. His constant questioning is making you feel a little annoyed because you do want to do it with him. Why wouldn't you? But it also tugged at the strings in your brain that maybe Spencer wasn't attracted to you in that way and maybe thats why he's never brought it up before.

"We can do it if you really want. But why don't we work are way up to it, huh angel? I just want you to get comfortable before tossing you into the deep end. I don't want you to back out during the middle of it."

"Okay" you murmur. "What time do you land tomorrow?"

"Uhhhh..Should be around 10:30am. Anyways I imagine its getting pretty late for you so you should sleep. I love you y/n, I'll see you tomorrow, sweet dreams my love."

"I love you too Spence goodnight." You say into the phone before hanging up. So now you have a plan. A daunting one, but yet a plan none the less.

The next day transpired pretty normally. Spencer getting home from his case, having a power nap whilst you went about your life leading to a makeout session.

Spencer kissed you like a man starved, tongue tracing your mouth like he was committing it to memory which he most indefinitely was. If one day he showed up with a 3D model of the inside of your mouth you wouldn't be surprised in the slightest. You could feel your body temperature rising and a familiar throb from between your thighs. Spencer's hands rested on your hips rubbing them gently. When he pulled away a confused look crossed your face.

"Is there something wrong?" you stutter earning you a breathless laugh from him.

"No nothings wrong your just really pretty thats all, and I also wanted to ask if your okay with me touching you?" he confesses

"Um..Yeah more than okay..Uh" you breathe

"Don't be nervous baby just lift your hips for me yeah?" he says a bit amused starting to unbutton your jeans. It hits you suddenly. You're actually doing this ur breathing picks up but ur not scared actually ur excited very excited. Spencer practically mashes his mouth to yours as the jeans came off and were thrown somewhere across the room. He uses his thigh to nudge your legs apart.

"Mmmm i think pretty is an understatement when it comes to you angel" he jokes which illicts a shy laugh from you. He uses his thumb brushing over your clit. Your heavy breathing turns into whines and eventually little moans as you feel a warm slippery sensation forming.

"There we go, good girl" he mumbles "Well I think theres no use of these panties anymore they are throughly soaked. Lets get these off you yeah?" he questions before tugging at your panties. Your doing this with Spencer Reid. The Spencer Reid you thought as shy and timid when you first met him and now well he's doing this. You can't help but to look up at him adoringly. Before you know it the rubbing sensation continues only you can feel it a little more this time and now a new feeling of a weird stretch? You sit up a bit where you find Spencer's hand joining the junction of your thighs looking up at you with a sweet grin. From what you have heard from your girlfriends guy's liked to take pleasure from you to give to themselves not giving it to you, and you certainly haven't known someone who described someone looking at them so lovingly the first time they did it together. This reiterates the fact that 'woah Spencer really loves you.' which is confirmed by the building pleasure as another finger slips inside.

"You're doing so well baby, you're being so good." he breathes as his eyes flick from his hand to your face. "You doing okay there?"

"Uh huh very well" you moan

"Yeah I can see that"

After a while of his fingers pumping rhythmically the spring in your stomach snaps and you go weirdly squirmy as you feel a warm feeling trickle through your veins. Best feeling ever. Spencers fingers slip out as he wipes it on his leg and lays next to you softly kissing all over your face.

"You okay?" he questions his fingers tracing your arms gently.

"I love you" you say hoarsely which illicit a soft laugh from him.

"Yeah baby I can tell"

-------------------------------

a/n: again guys im sorry if this was bad i myself was cringing a little writing this 😭

[whatifitis]

♡ two people can change - LN 4 ♡

Summary: A year after your relationship went up into ashes, you're forced to make a decision on what path to follow. Do you allow yourself to fall again for your first love? or do you follow a new path on your own? Can two people change?

Author's Note: Hi lovelies!!! Here is the 4th and final part of 'i wish you would've stayed'. I wanted to say a big thank you to those who have been following the series and showing it so much love. I hope y'all enjoy this part 😋

WC: 3770

CW: angst, brief mention of cheating, I think that’s it?

How did you always end up in the same spot? Over and over again? You’re always sitting around and thinking about the same person. Maybe because you didn't want to heal. The pain you’ve been trapped in is the last bond you have with him. It’s the last part of him that you know.

It’s been almost a year since you’d found the person you loved with a woman on top of him. You’ll never forget how the auburn flames came alive, destroying your last chance at a happily ever after.

You still don’t understand any of it. You thought you and Gabe were happy. You thought it was finally your turn at something good. So how did it end? You felt how everything slipped away. How it all slipped through your hands like water. As much as you tried to hold it all together, it was no use. It felt like your soul was leaving and your dreams were deflating right before your eyes.

You still mourn your relationship after all this time. Gabe really made you feel loved. He’s tried reaching out since it happened. He asks you how you are, if you’re okay, if you two can meet and talk. You don’t respond though. You don’t think you can face him again. You’re afraid that you’ll end up crawling back to him, just because it meant you wouldn’t be alone anymore. Like maybe you can have a husband and a house and a life again. But you know you deserve better, even if you end up alone.

Lando has been kind through this process. He understands that you have had a lot on your plate already and he doesn’t want to push you when you’re not ready. He’s there for you when you need him and he gives you space when you ask for it. He frequently checks on you, even if he’s out of town for a race. He listens to your rants, even when it’s 4 am for him.

He does so much for you, even when you tell him you don’t want a relationship any time soon. When you two spoke in the cafe a year ago, you told him you’d be willing to let him into your life very slowly. You missed him a lot, mostly as a friend. Before feelings got in the way, you two were the best of friends and you truly missed that part the most.

You aren’t even sure if you want to date Lando when you’re ready to get back out there. Even though he’s here now, it doesn’t mean he will be here later. And he really hurt you all that time ago. It all feels complicated, but yet so simple.

Maybe you need to stop bed rotting and get out for a walk. You get up and stretch, walk to the bathroom of your new apartment and brush your teeth. When you walked back to the bedroom, you picked your phone off the bed and checked the time, but you’re met with a new text message from Lando, ‘Hey! I have Max’s dog for the day and wanted to know if you wanted to join us for a walk. :D’

Creepy he offered a walk when you were about to go on one…

You stop and think if you wanna see him today. Maybe you can talk to him later and possibly discuss trying again? You still love him, even after everything. So why not?

You shoot back a text to let him know that you’re joining and you change your clothes.

As you put your shoes on, Lando texted you to let you know that he was downstairs with Theo, Max’s dog.

You spot Lando and Theo outside the door of your building and Theo is eager to greet you today. When Max and Pietra first adopted Theo, you were quick to befriend the dog since he took a liking to you. Maybe it was because he sensed your sadness but it’s okay. You’re just happy you’re one of the chosen ones.

Theo is jumping and grabbing at you until you’re knelt before him, letting him give you some kisses and you pet him and give him some belly scratches.

“Damn, do I get a greeting like that? I want belly scratches as well.” Lando says, giggling to himself.

“Don’t be jealous, Norris. It’s not a good color on you.” you joke.

“Every color is good on me, actually. Do you want to grab a coffee or something before we get to the park?”

“Nah. Maybe we can get some after?”

“Yeah. Sounds good.”

The two of you make simple conversation as you make your way to the park. It’s nice outside today. The sun is shining and providing some warmth to those who are out in the park today. It was like being held in the sun’s arms, the kind of warmth you haven’t felt in a long time.

You and Lando arrive at the park and walk around and try to find a nice spot in the grass to relax and play with Theo. It’d be nice to sit outside and breathe in some fresh air and just chill. Most days, you find yourself either stuck in your office at work or in your bed at home rotting.

Lando spots a nice area with plenty of space to chill in so the two of you make your way there. But as you two do, you pass a bench with an old woman, likely in her 70s, sitting on the bench. She spots the two of you and tells you “You two are a cute couple.”

You almost freeze in place. Trying to get your brain and body to cooperate, to reply kindly to the woman. But what were you supposed to say? Things are still complicated with Lando and if you said ‘Thanks’ then Lando could take it the wrong way and if you said ‘Oh, we’re not together’ then Lando could still take it the wrong way. Maybe there was a middle ground answer you could think of. Maybe you’re just seriously overthinking it.

“Oh! We’re not- It’s- I mean I wouldn’t mind- I really do-” Lando stammers, trying to find an answer as well.

“Ah. I see. Young lady, would you mind keeping me company for a minute?”

You look at Lando, to let him know you’ll sit with the woman for a bit and that he can go play with Theo. He nods silently and kisses your forehead before walking onto the grass field.

Damn him and his forehead kisses. You practically melted into it.

You sit down on the bench next to the woman and introduce yourself.

“Y/n. That’s a beautiful name, darling. I’m Margareth.”

“Hi, Margareth. How are you doing today?” you ask.

“I’m quite alright. Thank you for asking. How are you on this fine day?”

“I’m doing quite okay.”

“I’m sorry if my comment made you uncomfortable, darling. I noticed you sort of freeze. I didn’t mean any harm.”

“Oh, there’s no need to apologize. It’s just a bit complicated and I wasn’t sure how to respond.” you try and laugh it off.

“I understand. Tell me what about it has got you all mixed up?”

“Oh it’s a long story and I don’t want to bore you and trauma dump on you.”

“Darling, please. I’m an old lady. I barely get any good gossip nowadays. Please give me something juicy to report to my grandchildren.”

You laugh a little and decide there’s no harm in telling her. Maybe she could help you in the end. “Well, for years, Lando, the boy with the dog over there, and I were best friends. We were literally inseparable and we honestly just had such good times together. After some time, I caught feelings and told him and he said he’d felt the same way. We didn’t start dating though, he said he wanted to take things slow and make sure we weren’t really pressured. He’s also got a very busy career so I agreed to taking things slow and seeing where it went. But after some time, he pushed me away and said he wasn’t able to maintain any relationships, especially a romantic one. So I said okay and we stopped talking.”

“I see how that would have hurt you, darling. You seem like the person who wears their heart on their sleeve so I can only imagine how you felt.”

“Oh, that wasn’t even the worst part. So a few weeks after that or something, he started dating this girl.”

Margareth’s jaw drops and she’s practically gasping at this information, “No!”

“Yes! They were “official”. So I went through this whole crisis of ‘was it all fake?’, ‘was i the problem?’. And then we ended up in the same club and he was there with his girlfriend at the time. Somehow, we ended up on a quite balcony alone and he was telling me how great she was and that she’d “stayed”. So I was like ‘bitch, what the fuck? I stayed’. I mean I didn’t say it outloud, just in my head. Outloud I said congrats and I was happy for him yada yada yada.”

“Sounds like a right prick, love. So how did you two end up here together, today? Does he still have that girlfriend?” Margareth asks while side-eyeing Lando who is running around with Theo.

“No. They ended up breaking up. And I started seeing someone who I really loved and who I thought loved me.”

“Lord, please help me. What do you mean ‘loved’?”

“Uhm, a year ago, we were engaged and preparing for the wedding when I caught him in our bed with my cousin.”

“Shut up!” Margareth nearly falls off the bench from shock.

“I’m not kidding.” you laugh, her reactions are making you laugh so much, you want her to be your best friend now.

“What is wrong with men these days? They have everything and are so ready to just drop it all for what? Pussy? That probably isn’t even that good? And with your cousin of all people, fucks sake.”

“Margareth! Language, please. There are probably children around.” you laugh as you look around to make sure no young ears are within range.

“I’m sorry but I’m right. You’ll learn that soon.” she says as she pats your leg, “So, what happened after your ex man cheated?’’

“Uhm, I moved out. He gave me his cat cause she kept shitting in his shoes. And Lando found me in a coffee shop and apologized for everything and said he fucked up and wanted another chance. I told him my side of everything. Now it’s been a year and we’re just friends.”

“Do you want to be more?”

You sit there and think for a minute. You’ve been asking yourself this question for ages but you can never seem to get an answer. You want to be more with Lando, but you just can’t seem to push forward for some reason.

“I don’t know, honestly. So much of me says yes but there’s just something in my body saying no. That one little thing is the reason I haven’t run into his arms yet.”

“Well, darling, I want you to listen to me when I say this. You’re too full of life to be someone’s maybe. I know I just met you today, but I already know you. You were me when I was younger. A sort of quiet, reserved girl. You always dreamed of a happily ever after. Dreamed of meeting the one. Then mistake after mistake, you question if it’s right for you. But let me tell you this. Love is meant for you. You deserve so much more than what this world has handed to you so far.”

You look at her and take in her words. Maybe she’s right. Maybe you need to stop falling into the same cycles over and over again. Maybe it’s time to make your decision and figure shit out.

“Did you ever find ‘the one’?” you ask, genuinely curious, sort of making sure she’s not bullshitting you.

“I’m not bullshitting you, darling. I did find her. And she was magnificent. Worth all the heartbreak I’d ever endured. Worth every moment of sadness and despair. She was the best person I’d known. She made everyday bright and warm. It was like holding the world in my arms.”

“You say ‘was’. What happened, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“She passed away a few years ago.” she says, giving you a smile.

“I’m so sorry, Margareth.”

“It’s alright. We lived everyday to the fullest. She left the world with no regrets. As much as I wish she were still alive, I know she still lives here in my heart. And I know she watches over me because on her deathbed, she threatened to haunt me if I moved on with a man.” the woman laughs. You join her in it.

“I’m glad you can laugh about it. And that you can cherish her and your memories together so nicely.”

“It took some time. I’m just glad I was allowed to have known her in this lifetime. Even if the time was short.”

You and Margareth just sit in silence. You think about everything you’d just learned and watch the view in front of you. Lando is being pushed to the ground by Theo. He’s laughing so hard as Theo is jumping all over him.

You’re smiling at the scene and imagining what a life with Lando would be like. Would things work out? Is it a life you’d always dreamed of? Would you be happy?

You’re brought out of your daydream as Lando walks over and asks you if you’re ready to go. You nod and stand, turning to say goodbye to Margareth but when you look to where she was sitting, no one was there.

Damn, where’d the bitch go? You look around but can’t seem to spot her. Maybe She’d said goodbye when you were in the middle of your daydreaming.

Lando and Theo walk you back to your apartment as Lando asks you what you spoke to Margareth about. You tell him it was just small talk and that she had the dirtiest mouth you’d ever come across.

“No fucking way. You’re saying that old woman was worse at cussing than Max V?”

“Yes! It was insane. It was like Max V in 50 years. It was hilarious.”

“I bet it was.” he lets out a soft laugh.

The two of you keep talking until you arrive at your apartment building when Lando offers to walk you up to your door. You agree and tell him that he can hang around for a bit and let Theo get some water and relax after such a nice day outside. This would also be the perfect time to talk to him about everything going on in your head.

The 3 of you make your way into your apartment and settle in with some ice cold glasses of water and some fruit. You and Lando are sitting at your dining table while Theo lies on your floor after chugging down a bowl of water.

You’re sitting there watching Lando, trying to find a way to start this conversation.

“Hey, Lan. We need to talk.”

“Oh, yeah. What’s up?” he asks hesitantly.

“I think I know what I want now. With life and everything.”

“Alright. What is it that you want?” he’s still hesitant, almost afraid of what you’re gonna say. His leg looks like it’s trying not to bounce and he’s fidgeting his hands.

“I think I need to be alone for a while.”

“Oh, I understand. So what does that mean? Exactly?” You can tell he’s disappointed.

“It means that we can’t hang out like this anymore and we can’t text every night and stuff. If we see each other when we’re out and about, then I’ll be friendly and say hi. But we can’t keep doing this.”

“Doing what?”

“This. Whatever ‘this’ is. So much has happened between us these past few years and I think it’s fucking us up as individuals and as a ‘couple’ or whatever it is we are. We haven’t the time or opportunity to heal from all this shit. It’s not healthy, Lan.”

“But, I don’t understand why we can’t work through it together. I’m not saying I disagree with you and that I’m forcing you to be with me or something. I just genuinely want to understand and it might make it easier for me to move forward.” he looks at you softly, genuinely lost in this whirlwind.

“I get it. I think we each need to figure out who we are without being near each other. I think we’ve sort of been trying so hard to make things work that we’re not being true to ourselves anymore. I mean, we also have baggage that we still have to work through. I’m still fucked up over the whole Gabe thing and I’m still hurt over what you did when we were younger.”

To this, he flinches. You knew he was regretful of those things and he really tried making it up to you. But you had to be honest. Lando has to figure out why he did it in the first place and how he can work to improve his mental health more. He still can let his mind get fucked up and it’s hurting him.

“I really am sorry for the things I did.” he says as tears glass over his eyes.

“I know. And I’m sorry for having led you on.” you say, getting emotional yourself. Feeling your nose itch and your eyes sting.

“It’s okay. But, do you think one day, when we’re both better, we can try again? I really do love you, Y/n. I want to make this work. If you need real space and time, then you can have it. I’ll wait for you, Y/n. I will wait for you for 500 years. For a million life times. Even if it’s for just one moment.” tears are sliding down his face.

You reach for his hands and hold them tightly in yours, “I don’t want you to wait, Lan. I want you to go out and live. I want you to get better and learn to love people. I want you to find someone who can love you nearly as much as I do. I don’t want to stop you from finding the love of your life.” tears are sliding down your own face now, painting streaks.

“You won’t stop me from finding my love. You’re my love, Y/n. I don’t want someone else. I want you.”

“Listen to me, Lan. I loved you so hard for a time and I still do. And I wish I could forget all the ways that we’re broken, but I can’t. I don’t want us to destroy each other and hurt each other. It’s not fair to either of us. I’m closing the door. But I’m never going to lock it.”

Lando is on the verge of sobbing. He can’t believe this is how it ends, “For the longest time, I thought I was gonna be the one that got to marry you. It might be stupid and mean to say but I’m afraid if I get married to someone who isn’t you, my vows will be about you and not the person standing in front of me.” his voice breaks.

“I’m afraid that if I marry someone who isn’t you, that I’ll miss you while wearing my wedding dress.” you sit there for a second in silence with Lando. You can’t believe that this is happening. You really don’t want it to happen, “Maybe, one day. I’m not saying we’re not possible. Because maybe one day, it will be us. It’ll be us living the life we’d always wanted and dreamed of. Maybe it’ll be us that gets to live happily ever after. But I can’t promise it will be.”

“So, is this it? Is this the last time I get to see you?” he asks, desperate for you to say you’ll see him again and that he won’t have to wait long.

“For now, yes. I’m sure I’ll see you around though. Max and Pietra might push us into the same room for a while.” you laugh, watching as you were able to pull a smile from the man in front of you. The man you wish you didn’t have to let go of.

“I hope so.”

The two of you weren’t able to say the actual words ‘goodbye’, so you just hugged each other and held on for a while. The best place on earth was in each other's arms, and this was the last time you were gonna feel this safe.

Eventually, you had to let go. You watched as Lando grabbed Theo’s leash and got the dog ready to go home. The three of you walked to your apartment door and you watched as the two walked down the hall, about to turn a corner.

You watched as Lando looked back at you, one last time. He just wanted to savor the moment really, knowing he didn’t know when he would see you again. He wanted to memorize your outline and every detail of your being. Looking back at the person he loves the most in the world.

The two turn the corner til they’re out of view and you close your door and take a breath that you didn’t realize you were holding. The sound of soft paws running down the hall grasp your attention as Olive pops into your view. You smile at the cat and pick her up in your arms as you go to sit on the ledge of your apartment window.

You look out at the world that keeps moving despite your own world feeling like it ended. You can’t believe that he’s gone. You can’t believe you did that. But it’s for the better, right?

Olive meows and you’re pulled out of your thoughts when you spot Lando and Theo walking out of your apartment building. Lando’s head is hanging down, walking away for what feels like forever. It looks like he wants to look back, but he doesn’t give in, just turning enough for you to see his side profile a bit.

You look at Olive and give the sweet girl a kiss on the head, “I guess it’s just you and me now.”

Tags for this chapter: @f1fantasys @htpssgavi @ushygushybaby @f1girly2004x

[tpwk-formula1]

haii could i please order a pizza with sicillian crust with red sauce, and jalapenos, chicken, and tomatoes and my drinks are mtn dew(dom), beer and diet coke. Served by Max Verstappen please!!

Lee-Lee's Pizzeria Menu

sicillian crust dating red sauce rough sex jalapenos "always such a fucking brat" chicken "awe you thought I'd let you cum that easy?" tomatoes "do you enjoy pissing me off?" mt dew dom (reader) beer edging diet cock recording kink served by Max Verstappen

Max Verstappen x Dom reader

AN: I am so pleased with how busy the Pizzeria has been! I work at night today so I'm gonna get a couple fics more pizzas done before I have to go in.

TW - edging, sub max, dom reader, begging, unprotected sex, filming, taunting

WC 2100+

Y/N POV

I've been watching Max from the other side of the bar for the past 15 minutes while he talks to Checo about something having forgotten about the drink he was supposed to be getting me.

Another 5 minutes pass before Max is finally waving the bartender down to orders drinks and another 3 minutes before I watch Max approaching with his puppy smile trying to sweeten me up once he saw the cold stare I was giving him.

"Max it's been almost half an hour since you told me 'I'll be right back just gonna get your drink' right back my ass" I saw while rolling my eyes and talking the drink he was offering me.

"M'sorry, Checo was talking about the car," Max tells me sheepishly. I could tell he was sorry so I decided to brush it off and pull him to my side before placing a soft kiss on his cheek.

"It's fine, just stay on task next time," I tell him softly whispering into his ear.

I don't know how or when it happened but there had been a shift in max and I's relationship. At one point in time, Max was a young curious boy doing any and everything he could to dominate me and 'keep me in check' but as the years progressed there was a switch and he was no longer the one wearing the pants in the relationship. Most people just assumed Max was whipped but the very few who actually knew about the dynamic just understood it. To them it all made sense, on track, Max was a dominant force that instilled fear in his fellow drivers but off the track, he just needed an outlet to be taken care of.

"I promise," Max whispers before placing a kiss on my lips.

"Love you," he says when he pulls back. "Love you too"

As the night progressed Max had done really well about doing what he's asked but then Lando showed up and I knew instantly I was gonna lose him in the crowd.

I trust Max and I have no issues with him going off but being left at a table by myself surrounded by people I had never met was making me grow more anxious than I would like to admit.

It was about an hour later when I finally saw Max approaching the table with a dopey smile across his face letting me know he had definitely had another drink or two.

"Hi baby," Max says while plopping down right next to me not picking up on the annoyance radiating off of me.

"Do you enjoy pissing me off?" I ask back watching as the smile on Max's face instantly falls.

"Wha- huh? Wait, what did I do?" Max stutters, struggling to try and figure out what to say.

"You just disappeared for over an hour. You left me alone at this dan table and you didn't even tell me where the fuck you went or ask if I wanted to join," I tell him back piching his thigh slightly under the table.

"M'sorry. I promise I've been trying to be good. Don't wanna make you mad, schat" Max mumbles clearly feeling the shame of the verbal lashing he was gonna get later when we got back to the apartment.

"You're gonna be in tears tonight," I reply back straight faced not cracking a normal smile.

"Please just one more chance," Max begs knowing I meant every word.

"I gave you a chance with Checo. I don't understand how you hanging out with Lando somehow always results in you getting punished. Maybe we should send him a video of you tonight to let me know he's a terrible influence," I tell him while looking into his eyes before placing a soft kiss on his cheek to throw him off.

"You wouldn't" Max says with wide eyes of the threat of sending a sex tape. I just shrug my shoulders playing along with the bit.

"I don't know, I think he would love to know that the man he's fighting to get the World Driver Championship is just a needy whiney little bitch," I reply back making Max whine.

"You're a meanie," Max mumbles.

"And you're a brat. Don't we make a perfect pair," I saw with a smile on my face.

When we finally get back to the apartment for the night Max was pretty much sober knowing I would wait until morning if he wasn't sober. He chose take his punishment now versus the morning when he would be nursing a hangover.

"Go into our room, make sure the cats are out of the room, then strip down and be laying on you back in the bed. I'll be there in 5 minutes," I say the second the door is closed.

Max makes quick work of disappearing into our room where I assume he listened to every word I said.

In the 5 minutes, I stripped down into the lingerie set I had chosen to wear under my outfit before making my way down the hallway where I find Sassy sitting by the door staring up at me curiously. I give her a quick pet before slipping into the room to find Max exactly how I told him to be. I look around the room and found a neatly stack of clothes letting me know that Max had folded them up instead of throwing them arounf our room.

"I see you remember some of our rules," I saw while staring at the clothes so Max understood what I was referencing.

When I start climbing into the bed with Max I can see him tensing slightly in anticipation.

"You know how embarrassing it was tonight?" I said before spitting onto Max's cock and starting to jerk him off making him instantly grow hard under my hand.

"I was sat there all alone for over an hour. I looked dumb as fuck. I'm sure the Monaco gossip is gonna eat that up "Max Verstappen disappears leaving his long-time girlfriend alone at the table' You know how media is, they're gonna make it seem like there's trouble in paradise. When in reality it's just little Maxie being a brat. Oh! I almost forgot," I stop my teasing to grab my phone which I brought with me into the room.

"Say hi to Lando," I say while pointing the camera at Max's face. He's giving the camera such a pained yet slutty look it makes me laugh at his desperation. I wait a couple seconds before my voice booms through the room, "I said, Say hi to Lando." While verbally reprimanding Max I send a quick slap to his inner thigh close to his dick before pinching the same spot making Max squirm a bit.

"Hi, Lando," Max mumbles barely audible.

"Try that again. I hear the way you yell at your engineer. Such a disrespectful boy," I tell him with a raised brow.

"Hi, Lando" Max finally says in a loud enough voice to be heard.

"Good boy," I tell him while moving my unoccupied hand back to his dick making sure I have the perfect angle to get Max and his already wet with precum ccok.

"So needy. You're already dripping for me," I say with a smirk on my face.

"So good, schat" Max whines making me speed up slightly just to watch Max's breath hitch.

"I love it when you get like that," I mumble while squeezing Max's cock a bit harder.

"M'close," Max mumbled making me speed up just slightly before pulling my hand away and watching Max's eyes roll into the back of his head and tremble slightly from his pleasure being ripped away in a matter of seconds.

"No," Max whines dragging out the O sounding so desperate.

"Awe you thought I'd let you cum that easy?" I tease while starting to jerk Max off again while zooming the camera in on Max's cock dripping with precum.

"Schat, please," Max says already starting to beg.

"Oh come on, you can handle more than one," I tell him while leaning down and kicking softly at his tip collecting a bit of his precum.

I shuffle down the bed slightly to start pulling Max into my mouth and down my throat taking all of Max's length into my mouth making sure to bob my head slightly before bringing Max to the edge all over again.

I could tell when he was getting close again because his thighs started tensing under my hands making me rip away from Max's cock to watch him thrash around while bucking his hips to try and gain some kind of friction.

"Fuck no," Max whines staring straight at that the camera that I angled perfectly on his face.

"I love watching you get progressively more needy," I say with a smirk while gripping onto his cock and giving it a rough couple jerks before pulling Max into my mouth again.

I didn't give Max much time to calm down so he was on the edge rather quickly.

"Please, I'm gonna cum," Max says making me bod my head a bit faster before pulling away and watching Max try and chase his orgasm on his own by moving his hand to go and finish himself off but I quickly get a grip on his wrist and giving Max a look that says knock it off.

"No more," Max whines making me smirk slightly.

"Can you give me one more?" I question with a raised brow making Max whine but slowly start to nod his head.

"Yes, I can give one more," Max mumbles softly making me smile softly.

I started jerking off his cock softly making sure I'm filming everything again. I loved it when Max got like. The noises, his hips bucking, and the pure desperation in his eyes always seemed to turn me on.

I could tell Max was getting close but I wanted to push him farther than previous so I continue my movements till the second I know Max will cum I rip my hand away and watch as Max lets out a roar of desperation while jerking his body around not being able to gain any friction as I moved away slightly.

"Please, I need it. I can't do it anymore. I need to cum baby, please," Max begs making me smile softly.

"I'm gonna let you cum in a minute," I tell Max softly while rubbing his thigh in a soothing manner making Max whimper at the touch.

I turned the video off and tossed my phone away from us. I was still sitting in my lingerie set which is completely soaked through both from just witnessing Max get to the point of begging and also because I had snuck a couple fingers into my folds and teased my clit while giving Max head.

I stand from the bed softly and strip down completely before climbing back into the bed and climbing on top of Max before instantly sinking all the way down on Max.

"Oh fuck," I moan when I feel Max stretch my tight walls. I knew neither of us would last very long but looking at Max's face he was completely blissed out.

"So good," Max mumbled making his accent come out a bit thicker.

"So big baby," I moan while softly grinding my hips to gain some friction but not enough stimulation to bring Max or I to an orgasm.

"More, please" Max begs and I give him exactly what he wants because I start bouncing my hips slightly making both Max and I moan at the pleasure coursing through our bodies.

It doesn't take me long for the knot in my stomach to grow alerting me of the incoming orgasm. I look at Max's face and can tell he's trying to hold his orgasm off until I was cumming.

"Cum for me baby," I whisper out bouncing harder on Max's cock throwing me off the edge and into a violent orgasm.

The way Max's hips were erratically thrusting and the feeling of him filling me up sent me over the edge into a shaking orgasm. I'm shaking on Max's cock trying to ride both of our orgasms out.

"So good baby," I whine softly still feeling the aftershocks of the intense orgasm I just had.

"Thank you," Max says softly through staggered breath still trying to catch his breath again.

"You did good for me," I tell Max softly while pulling off his cock and laying down on his chest.

"You're not gonna send that to Lando right," Max mumbles softly making me chuckle a little and shake my head no.

"You know I would never, but I did love watching you get desperate on camera. Might start having to do that more often," I tell him softly looking up to watch his face. I could see the conflict in his eyes but he still nodded his head letting me know it was something he would be willing to do again.

[kanpaeki]

Can you do where dominic and the reader have an argument and give each other silent treatment even though they really wanna talk to each other but they’re being petty

i changed it a little bit but i hope this is close enough to what you wanted, i got writer's block like 3 times trying to write this lmao

x

“how many times do i have to say i’m sorry? i couldn’t fucking be there, i don’t know what else to say.”  dominic’s fed up by now, clearly done with the conversation if the flushed face and disgruntled expression is anything to show for.

“are you not getting this? that’s not the problem! but you should’ve talked to me!” and just like him, you're beyond frustrated. he's usually more communicative with you but you had an event that you really wanted him to go with you to and he straight up stood you up, no call, no text, no nothing. and you were furious. he didn't want to talk about it, claiming he was just was busy and with friends and lost track of time but you weren't having it. he needed to understand that he couldn't do that.

"i'm not doing this anymore." he abruptly stands up from his chair at the kitchen table and heads towards the doorway to what you assume is his makeshift home studio.

"where are you going?!" you shout, eyebrows furrowed in anger, "you're not doing what anymore?!"

no answer. he's retreating to the studio.

"dominic david fike."

he pauses.

but then he continues. and he's out of your sight within the next second. you hear the door slam.

you groan, running your hands through your hair. you don't think you've ever fought this bad. he was usually better at letting you know where he was or if he was going to be late, you don't understand why he all of a sudden stopped. it didn't make sense. something was weird. but at this rate, you were never going to find out why. you just wanted to talk to him, you don't even understand how it became a screaming match. sighing, you shake your head. maybe some time would be best for you both.

so you continue the day as normal, given there is quite a heavy and dark rain cloud looming over your head for the remainder of the evening, but you try your best. you get your work done, which was a nice distraction but the second you were done, your mind went back to dominic. so you tried to make dinner. you weren't the best cook but he seemed to enjoy it, especially when you make that one dish he really likes. he might even view it as a peace offering.

“dom? babe?” you call out, “dinner’s ready!” you plate the food at the stove, carrying them to the table. you wait for the telltale sound of a door opening and feet slapping the floor. it never comes.

“dom?” your heart starts to deflate. so maybe this issue was bigger than you thought. you stand there beside the table, watching the steam rise from the two plates. trying not to panic, you wring your hands together. maybe he’s just got his headphones on.

you think about texting him for a minute but you decide just to go knock on the door. if he's got headphones on, he probably won't hear his phone anyway. so up the stairs you go, putting your tail between your legs and knocking on the door. "dommy, dinner's ready. if you want to eat." pressing your lips together, you wait for the door to open.

nothing.

yeah, maybe this was worse than you thought. you give it another knock but still, no answer. resting your forehead on the cool wood, you exhale. usually after an argument, some time apart was all he needed. but it seems like this was going to take a little bit more than you anticipated.

"well, i'll be downstairs if you want to talk about it. i'll put your plate in the fridge." with that, you head back downstairs, thoughts racing through your mind. reaching the table, you just sit there. you don't even feel like eating anymore. you just pick at your food with the fork, frustrated more than anything. you know your feelings were valid, if anything, you should be the one giving him the silent treatment. you were willing to put everything behind you. why wasn't he? god, boys are so infuriating.

you stand up and just decide to wrap your plates and put them in the fridge. you didn't have it in you to eat right now and you're sure he'll be down to eat the second you leave the kitchen and shut yourself in the bedroom. and that you do. without even changing into pajamas, you just slide into the sheets in the darkness, left alone with your thoughts. you hated this silence. usually he was singing, showing you what he made, watching a movie with you, you guys even liked to online shop together. you loved his sense of style. you missed his nose. his cute button nose. you don't even realize you're crying until the feeling of something warm and wet on your nose bothers you enough to wipe it away.

you're half asleep when you hear padding around in the kitchen, socks shuffling on the floor and the sounds of the fridge opening. there's a sigh and muttering. more scuffling. and then it gets closer. you pretend to be asleep right as the door opens.

he seems to pause at the door but then there's a weight shift at the end of the bed as he sits on it. you carefully blink your eyes open, looking at him as he sits by your feet. his elbows rest on his knees and his hands are in his hair. you want to speak up, he looks frustrated but you don't know if you trust your voice after having cried yourself to sleep.

he takes a deep breath before he sits up, "i'm sorry." is all he says before he looks at you with an expression you've never really seen before. "i was trippin', i shouldn't shut down like that. i could've moved things around, i could've been there. i know how important it was to you and i'm sorry. it won't happen again."

you take a deep breath before sitting up, facing him. "i'm sorry i lost my temper. i know your schedule gets unpredictable. but you're right, it meant a lot to me." he nods and leans forward, resting his head on your chest. you run your hands through his messy curls.

"i love you." he murmurs into your chest, kissing you through your shirt. "will you eat with me please?" he looks up at you with shiny eyes and you just nod, smoothing the stray hair away from his cheeks.

he stands up first and you grab his hand as he outstretches it, taking his lead as he heads back to the kitchen. rarely did you ever eat without each other. maybe that's why you lost your appetite before. but sitting at the table with him now, smiling as you eat your dinner's together, all feels right again.

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

Freebie!! May the house be as cooperative as possible

Logan sipped his coffee and half listened to the shower in the bathroom, keeping an ear out in case you fell or something. And tried not to hear you trying to- well.

Because that was driving him crazy. He wanted to help so bad he thought he was gonna bust. He appreciated you trying to be discrete about it though. You probably didn't understand how good his hearing actually was. Even if you did know how good his sense of smell was now- good enough to pick out changes in your scent.

But the banging on the door and Trigger barking interrupted his thoughts- and his planning.

He went to the door and looked in the peephole to see a barrel-shaped woman with steel gray, poodle-permed hair and an oxygen tank. "What the fuck-"

"Y/N will you open the damned door?" she barked. "I know you're there I can hear the damn dog."

Logan heard the shower turn off and the thud of you opening and closing dresser drawers "FUCK! Logan? Can you-"

"Got it, Princess," he said unbolting the door and taking a deep breath. There goes his nice calm day. He can feel you in the bedroom, already whipped into a frenzy. "Can I help you?"

"Where's Y/N?" she demanded. "And who are you?"

"Mom," you tell her appearing next to him and nudging him out of the way gently. "This is Logan. What- why didn't you call?"

"Since when do I have to call to see my daughter?" she scoffed, barging past both of you and flopping herself down in an armchair, almost like she was striking a pose. A queen expecting tribute.

Logan can feel you assessing the room. Taking stock. Calculating. And he can hear your heart racing as you flit towards the kitchen to make coffee for her. And put a cinnamon roll, the one you were saving for later on a plate to go with it. "Since the time you came to visit and I was at an event in Ohio-"

"You should have told me," she scolded. "You never tell me anything. Wade told me everything."

Logan stifled a snort turning it into a cough and followed you, "What can I do?" he muttered. Your hands were trembling. He could hear things knocking together from the livingroom.

"Call Wade. Tell him to stay out of here today. Then call Vanessa and tell her the same," you murmur, lips barely moving.

He nodded and took the cup and the plate from the counter for you, taking it to your mom.

"How'd you get here?" you ask, starting a cup of tea.

"Your Aunt Charlene, 'o course," she answered, inspecting the cinnamon roll. "You make this?"

"Yesterday-"

"It's dry. What's with all the baby shit?"

Logan freezes halfway to the bedroom. Listening. Phone in hand. He knew you had to control a story here. Were you going to tell her? If you didn't tell her- How were you going to explain it when there was a baby? Or if she dropped by and you were ready to pop?

"I- do you want a glass of milk? You said that was dry."

"Ugh. I don't want it, sweetie. You got anything else?"

"Sure, mom. Gimme a minute. I'll make you something for lunch. It's a long trip. Aunt Charlene didn't want to stay?"

"You know her," she snorted.

Logan exhaled and listened to you take the plate and head back to the kitchen. Wondering how many times HE put you in this spot. Managing his emotions. How many times they'd all done it to you. Your heart was still racing and now it seemed like the rhythm wasn't going to slow down. Hovering just below utter panic.

"You really should lay off the sweets," he hears, "you're getting fat."

That made him crinkle his nose in distaste. Hardly. Even if you weren't pregnant, he was pretty sure there was some shit you just didn't say.

___________

"Hey, Peanut," Wade said, "Y/N putting a hit out on you or-"

"Your mom's at her apartment, numbnuts," he hissed. "Call Vanessa and tell her. Don't wanna leave her alone too long."

"Shit," Wade groaned. "Listen. Keep your head down. Keep your mouth shut. And just- whatever witchcraft she does let her do it."

"Whatever," Logan said hanging up. It wasn't witchcraft. It was you standing in front and taking body blows for the rest of them. It was you weaving a web and doing a whole song and dance to make it all work to protect them. And he could take a few if it meant it gave you some space to breathe.

_____________________

Logan walked back out into a tirade about how everything was going wrong with the house. About how YOU had to fix it. Because WADE would have done it because he was such a good boy. A good son. And now that he was dead-

"I'll come take a look at it if you want," Logan said, taking a seat next to you on the couch. putting an arm around you possessively.

"Who're you?"

"Logan is my boyfriend," you explain, "he does construction-"

"You definitely don't wanna get fat if you wanna keep that one," she said, looking at him properly.

Logan half shrugged and pulled you closer, "She's not getting fat, trust me. She gets too much cardio for that."

When the other woman laughs and you go tense, feigning amusement at your own expense, he winces internally.

'Gotta go watch my pans," you tell him, getting up.

"None of that fancy roasted shit," Your mother called. "Cook those vegetables the RIGHT way. Like I taught you-"

"Of course mom," you hum.

Hiding. You were hiding. And he knew it. But he understood it- sort of. Too many variables. Too many emotions to need to control. You were emotional. And all you could do right now was cook. So you cooked. If you were busy and helpful no one was going to be mad at you. Not him not your mom. Not anyone.

And All Logan could do was keep her talking about the house and not the size of your ass. Drinks filled. Bones for the dog. Plates on the table. It was a flow. You faded into the background.

Taking the complaints and the demands. Serving a meal and keeping things comfortable. It set Logan's teeth on edge watching your mother treat you like the help in your own home.

But by the time she left and you handed her a check just to get her out the door, he was furious. You shut the door behind her and slid down it, wrapping your arms around Trigger and burying your face in the fur of his neck. Just sobbing.

"Princess," he said softly, "com'ere?" He felt helpless.

The dog whined and pressed closer to you, laying across your lap when you let him go. "I'm okay," you mumble. "Feel like shit but-"

Logan nodded and took a seat on your other side, "Bet you wish you could have a drink, huh?"

"So fucking much," you huff, leaning against his side. "Usually when she leaves I buy a bottle of wine and order sushi."

He smiled a little and kissed the top of your head. "Promise. I'll make sure you get your wine and sushi as soon as you finish pushing."

"That might be the sweetest thing you've ever said to me," you tell him.

"Also," he snorted. "You're not getting fat. You're pregnant- she's just a fucking cunt."

[bloody-bee-tea]

Summer of Doom 2025 Day 28 - You'll get used to it

Hitoshi wakes up with a scream, shooting upright in his sweat-soaked bed and his eyes frantically scanning the room.

He screams again when his eyes fall on Aizawa, standing in the middle of the room, his hand outstretched but absolutely motionless otherwise and it only takes a moment for Hitoshi to understand what's going on and then he yanks his quirk back so hard he almost feels sick with it.

Aizawa stumbles slightly before he makes his way over to the bed where Hitoshi is curling up small and pressing his face to his knees in hopes to calm himself down.

"Sorry, sorry," he pants out, unease still prickling at his nape, his nightmare slow to leave him and everything feels like too much for a moment.

Until Aizawa sits down at the edge of his bed and puts a steady hand to his neck.

"It's alright," Aizawa softly says, "you're okay."

A sob breaks free at that because Hitoshi doesn't feel alright, but Aizawa simply continues to sit at this side, a steady, reassuring presence and eventually, Hitoshi's breathing evens out.

"Nightmare?" Aizawa asks, almost redundantly because that should be more than obvious but still, Hitoshi nods. "You wanna talk about it?"

It's always an offer with him and Yamada—they ask, yeah, but they never demand, always just giving Hitoshi space to decide what he wants to do and it brings new tears to Hitoshi's eyes.

"No, it's just—" He takes in a shuddering breath. "It wasn't anything concrete, I don't think. Just feelings."

He feels stupid saying it, because why would simple feelings make him scream like that, make him sweat through his bedding, and Aizawa should ridicule him for it, but he only hums.

"Those are often the worst," he says after a moment. "Sometimes I dream about being chased, and that's fine; enough villains have done it over the years for me to almost get used to that feeling and I can handle that well. But other times I only get the sense that I'm being chased; there's no one behind me, just that urgent feeling that something isn't right and that's always worse. Leaves me twitchy for the next day," Aizawa explains and Hitoshi leans slightly into him because, yeah.

It's like that, but it's also worse.

"Yamada?" Hitoshi asks after a moment, because he doesn't know how to pick up the thread of what Aizawa just said and Aizawa lets out an amused huff.

"Down for the count. I don't think he even noticed me leaving the bed."

"Sorry," Hitoshi says on instinct, again, because he woke his teacher, who already doesn't get enough sleep as it is. Fuck, he probably interrupted the one night Aizawa gets to be home the entire week and why is he being so fucking broken?

"Nothing to apologise for, it happens to all of us. At least you just scream. Hizashi wakes up swinging; I've gotten my fair share of black eyes from him."

It's enough to bring a smile to Hitoshi's face and Aizawa must know it because he squeezes his neck once.

"You good?" he asks and Hitoshi nods. "You want me to change the bedding?" Aizawa then offers and Hitoshi reaches out a hand to feel the damp blanket.

"No, it's—I don't think I can sleep again, anyway."

"Okay. Take your pillow if you relocate to the living-room, you know our throw pillows are shit for the neck," Aizawa says without judgement and for a moment Hitoshi just basks in the knowledge that it's okay.

It's all okay, here; he's allowed to stay out in the living-room if he wants to, he's allowed to not sleep, to move freely in this apartment and he's safe.

"I will," he softly gives back and Aizawa squeezes his neck one more time before he gets up.

"Good. And wake us if anything comes up," Aizawa tells him and he really does mean anything.

It doesn't have to be life-threatening, it doesn't even have to be hero stuff. Hitoshi is allowed to wake them up should he feel like it, should he feel alone or lost or panicked and it's still so confusing sometimes, that all of these things are okay here.

That Aizawa and Yamada won't hurt him for anything.

Aizawa is already halfway out of the room when he stops and looks back at Hitoshi and he realises with a start that he didn't say anything back so he quickly nods.

"I will," he repeats and Aizawa's lips quickly quirk up in a smile before he finally leaves again.

Hitoshi hopes he will get some more sleep because it's enough that he isn't going to get anymore but despite the vaguely guilty feeling for dragging Aizawa out of his bed, Hitoshi is so, so thankful, because one of them always shows up when Hitoshi has a nightmare.

And it's so much better to wake up to soft words and careful touches than to be all on his own.

~*~*~

Hitoshi isn't too sure about what happens, but one moment Yamada is reaching out for something on the table and the next thing Hitoshi knows he's jerking back so hard his chair topples over and he finds himself on the ground, desperately hyperventilating.

"Hitoshi?" Yamada carefully asks as he sinks to his knees in front of him and Hitoshi scrambles away from him until his back hits the wall.

"Alright, no touching," Yamada mutters and sits himself down on the floor right where he kneeled, giving Hitoshi space without leaving him alone.

Hitoshi would probably be grateful for it, if he could breathe or think and Yamada must know it because he starts to take super exaggerated breaths.

It's a tried and tested method—not only is Yamada loud enough for Hitoshi to hear over the rushing in his ears and his own panicked breaths, but his chest also expands in that almost comical way it does because of his quirk and it gives Hitoshi just enough points to focus on to match his own breathing to his.

Still, it takes an embarrassingly long time before Yamada can drop the act and Hitoshi slums against the wall.

"You back with me, kiddo?" Yamada asks and Hitoshi nods his head without opening his eyes. "What set you off?" Yamada carefully wants to know next and Hitoshi knows he doesn't have to answer, can just shake his head and Yamada will drop it even though knowing his triggers would certainly help, but it's not as if Hitoshi knows what to say.

"I don't know," he admits, because he doesn't.

Yamada wasn't even reaching for him, wasn't even looking at him, and it also wasn't the first time he reached across the table that afternoon and all the other times Hitoshi had been good.

"Did I move too fast?" Yamada asks and Hitoshi shakes his head. "Did I lean in too close or—"

"I don't know, okay?" Hitoshi bursts out, his loud voice echoing in the room and the words have barely left his mouth before he slaps a hand over it, suddenly violently trembling all over.

He yelled. He yelled and he asked a question and surely, surely Yamada would hit him now, would come for him as viciously as Hitoshi knows he can be with villains and he ruined the one good placement he ever had and—

Humming fills the room and effectively cuts off Hitoshi's scrambled thoughts.

Yamada is sitting in the middle of the room on the floor, humming, because Hitoshi is a hot fucking mess and Hitoshi drops his head into his hands.

"Better?" Yamada asks after a minute and Hitoshi nods without looking at him.

"Sorry," he breathes out, completely embarrassed by what happened, but Yamada doesn't give any indication that he's bothered by what just transpired.

"Don't be, nothing to be sorry for," Yamada almost flippantly says and Hitoshi thinks that that must be a lie, but when he looks up, Yamada is smiling softly at him. "Anything I can do?"

"The—the humming was nice," Hitoshi admits after a moment and Yamada doesn't question it, he just goes back to humming and that's how Aizawa finds them ten minutes later.

Sitting on the floor almost as far apart as they can be, with Yamada humming and Hitoshi coated in cold sweat.

Hitoshi ducks his head in shame but Aizawa simply drops down next to Yamada and then they stay there for another twenty minutes. Yamada stops humming after a while but when Aizawa and he pick up a soft, inane conversation it's just as good and by the time Aizawa complaints about not being young enough to be down here for so long, Hitoshi's panic is a distant memory.

~*~*~

Hitoshi can't sleep. He can't sleep and he can't relax and when he moves he keeps his back towards a wall as if he's going to be jumped any second now and he startles at even the smallest noises and when Aizawa and Yamada speak to him he ducks almost on instinct as if they are going to lash out at him at any moment.

It's ridiculous and fucking stupid and Hitoshi hates himself with a passion for every scared reaction he has.

He has never been like this in any of his previous foster homes. He was quiet and tried to stay out of the way, yes, but he never flinched like this, he never had nightmares like this, didn't have panic attacks at all and he doesn't understand why it's all happening now, in the one good home he has ever been to, surrounded by people who like him and who would never do him any harm.

Fuck, Aizawa and Yamada must think him to be so fucking ungrateful, but Hitoshi can't stop his reactions, any of them and frustrated tears prick at his eyes when Yamada comes home and Hitoshi is halfway across the room before he remembers that he's allowed to be out here.

"Fuck," he mutters under his breath, maybe louder than he meant to because Aizawa sticks his head around the corner.

"Everything alright here?" he asks and just like that Hitoshi's frustrations boil over.

"No, it's fucking not," he hisses out and Aizawa raises a surprised eyebrow at him.

"Hello, family!" Yamada happily says as he steps into the room and then he seems to notice the tension because he frowns. "Everything good?"

"Apparently it's fucking not," Aizawa repeats Hitoshi's words in a deadpan and normally, it would make Hitoshi at least crack a smile but right now, he flinches and jerks back from them, because foster parents cursing in his presence only ever led to more beatings and he catches himself a second later, but it's a second too late.

Aizawa and Yamada have already noticed.

Hitoshi sees them exchanging a look, clearly having an entire silent conversation between them, and Hitoshi grinds his teeth together, forces himself to stay where he is because it's okay.

He's not in danger, he has to believe that, even if his instincts are telling him something else.

"I think it's time we have a talk," Aizawa finally says and immediately walks over to the couch, where he sits down, Yamada at his side a moment later. "Pick any place that feels safe to you," Aizawa says and Hitoshi almost hysterically laughs when his mind immediately flashes to under his bed.

Yamada seems to be able to read his mind because he gives Hitoshi a tight smile.

"In this room, kiddo, please."

Hitoshi hovers in the room for a moment, unsure of where he's supposed to go, Aizawa and Yamada patiently waiting him out until he finally moves to the opposite site of the room, the table and arm chair between him and them and then he leans against the wall as casually as he can.

"Sure," Aizawa says with an amused twitch of his lips and Hitoshi has to remind himself that it is amusement and not derision.

"Hitoshi," Yamada starts but Hitoshi cuts in, just blurting out what has been on his mind for a while now.

"I don't know why I'm acting like this. I don't. I know you guys are safe, I know I am, but still—I can't help but to flinch and to be afraid and the nightmares—I don't know why any of this is happening now!"

"Because you're safe here."

"What?" Hitoshi breathes out and stares at Aizawa, literally begging him with his eyes to fucking elaborate on that.

"Kiddo, you've been to your counselling sessions, right? Did they not mention that this could happen?" Yamada wants to know and Hitoshi blinks.

He had to attend infrequent counselling sessions for the first two months he came here but the woman who did them was shit and was more concerned with the fact that Hitoshi could be hurting two pro heroes.

Not that he'd ever told Aizawa or Yamada that.

She certainly hadn't mentioned anything like this.

"No. She—didn't say many helpful things at all," Hitoshi admits and Yamada narrows his eyes at him.

"Was she a quirkist bitch?" he asks and Aizawa lets out a long sigh.

"Hizashi, please."

"What? You were thinking it, too, and don't think I don't know you're going to go out tonight to check her records."

"She—was, actually," Hitoshi interrupts them before this can become a full blown argument and immediately, Aizawa's and Yamada's attention snaps back to him. "She was a bit of—that," he weakly finishes and watches how Yamada seems to steam with rage.

"Your therapist is someone else?" Aizawa asks, short and to the point like he always is and Hitoshi nods.

"Yeah, he's—ehm. The first talk was. Okay. Good." He curses himself for how he stumbles over his words but the therapist he's supposed to see soon had definitely left a better impression than the woman in counselling.

"Well, at least that's something," Yamada mutters and Hitoshi mentally apologises to his therapist, because he's sure Aizawa and Yamada will corner him sooner or later. Just to make sure.

Because they are good like that.

Which makes this entire situation so incredibly frustrating and it brings him back to the original point of this.

"Can we—what is happening? Here. With me," he says and immediately they soften up, which prompts Hitoshi to speak more. "You said—that this was something that could happen? Me being all—messed up?"

"Healing," Aizawa corrects him and Hitoshi can't help it, he snorts.

He definitely is something, but healing is not it.

"I'm not—healing! I'm worse than I ever was! How is this healing?"

"You're processing," Yamada tells him. "You know PTSD?"

"You think I have—that? Why now?"

"Kiddo, it's called post-traumatic for a reason. Usually, it develops in the first six months after the traumatic events happened. It's a bit different for prolonged traumatic events—what you went through, basically—but you typically don't get it while you're still in the situation. And you have been in the situation for so long."

"The human brain is fickle like that," Aizawa chimes in. "You were constantly under stress in your previous homes and now you get to process. Your brain has now the time and the space to work through all the shit that happened to you. And it's reacting accordingly now."

"Well, I would appreciate it if it fucking stopped," Hitoshi grumbles, slinging his arms around his middle. "So it's not because I don't trust you?" he finally asks, voicing that one fear that has been at the back of his head all this time and Yamada smiles at him.

"Quite the opposite, really. You are like this right now because you trust us. Otherwise you'd still be in panic mode and not have any of these issues."

"And you knew that?"

"Hound Dog pulled us aside when we took you in and gave us a brief run-down of what to expect. He assured us that this would be covered with you during your counselling but—"

"Yeah, she was too busy being worried about me making you hurt each other," Hitoshi bitterly mutters and then bites his lip, hard, because he spoke out of turn.

It takes him a moment to remember that there are no real turns here.

"We're definitely going to have to look into that," Aizawa grumbles and Yamada doesn't even pretend to stop him anymore.

"But—what now? What do we do now about me being all—" Hitoshi doesn't want to say healing because it doesn't feel like it but he also doesn't want to say messed up again so he simply, awkwardly trails off.

"When's your therapy session?"

"Next week."

"Then we do nothing. We deal with it like we have done so far and then you can talk to your therapist about it. Maybe he'll recommend seeing a doctor, too, but that will always be your decision," Aizawa says with a shrug and Hitoshi's eyes burn.

"You're not—mad? Annoyed? Dealing with me like this—"

He remembers all the nights he woke up screaming where Aizawa came into his room because he woke him up, remembers the way he continues to bolt when they enter a room, the numerous panic attacks he's had over the past two weeks just because they breathed in their own home and he can't quite believe that it doesn't matter to them.

"Hitoshi, you're processing," Aizawa reiterates again, "and your mind is reacting on instinct. We're not going to be mad about that and we're not annoyed. I know it sounds backwards, but we're happy to see it. It means we're providing a stable, safe home for you and that is all we really wanted. And what we've done so far has helped, right?"

All the gentle words, the soft touches, the steady presences they have given him over the past few months flood into Hitoshi's mind and it almost makes him cry.

"Yeah," he chokes out and Yamada smiles softly at him.

"Then that's all we need to know. We're going to continue just like that and it will all work out. You’ll get used to it, you'll see."

"Hopeless optimist," Hitoshi and Aizawa say at the same time and it's enough to make them all laugh.

It still doesn't feel okay, but it does take a bit of the stress out of it, knowing that he's not like this for nothing or because deep down he doesn't trust them and Hitoshi can breathe a little bit easier with that knowledge.

And if they are right then his therapy will help, too, and time, probably. A lot of time.

Hitoshi is not looking forward to it, but he thinks as long as Aizawa and Yamada are there for him, he might just make it.

(It doesn't get better for a while. His therapist supports their theory and the only real cure is time and stability. Hitoshi hates that there's no quick fix to it, because he's so, so tired of waking up screaming and not only waking Aizawa up but also catching him in his quirk. He's tired of flinching when Yamada moves in any way and he's tired of always being on guard, but his therapist is adamant that it's something he has to work through.

And Hitoshi does. And slowly but surely, with the steady reassurance of his guardians it gets better and better and better.)

[pressplay-if]

F*ck yes i loved that new update, loved basically everything about it, especially how the characters throw in how the mc is percieved....i love it.

I have to things i wanna say tho, nothing bad promise :) I get some things that are set with the mc, but there are some things that just kinda bother me(subjectively speaking here of course)

1: But why does mc not have a drivers license for instance, i get that poor mc would maybe not have had the funds for it, but a rich one had, and i imagine that the parents would have insisted they do one so that they can drive to important meetings to get a real job etc. yk what i mean?

2: So mc can only do vocals and sucks at everything else...feels kinda like mc is suuuper useless, like a magicarp that couldn't even perform splash, or a bird without wings etc. like i get that mc is more focused on singing and vocals but i would say that it would only make sense that mc can at least play one instrument(like many real artists/musicians do) so that when they are stuck in a loop maybe they can distract themself or smth yk to get back on the grind etc.?

Also wouldn't this mean, that if mc got sick and maybe lost their voice for a time or completely they would be even more useless....like a stone that wants to fly. And i don't mean to be rude here or something cause i genuinely like this game and the characters, but mc feels soo limited yk, and i know we still have only seen a little about mc but i would say that we should at least have one more hobby or smth.

Of course this is only my subjective opinion and please don't feel pressured to change anything, cause this is your story and you can do whatever you want with it, i just thought that i could give my two cents to it. Anyways have a good day and stay hydrated.

Heyooo ok so you really picked apart the MC lol but I totally laughed at how you described that 😂 a stone trying to fly

MC can actually drive, they just don't own a vehicle. That's because I wanna make a whole big thing about them getting their first own car/motorbike once the cash comes in you know 💖 also, it creates some nice little scenes like the cuddling Angel-option. But don't worry, MC can drive and will drive

MC doesn't like "suck" at everything else. They can play a little rhythm guitar and also they write most of the band's songs, so they're far from useless, even though they may not play another instrument (at the moment; I think I'm gonna add that option). So they're integral to the band, because even when it's Stevie writing the songs, she only ever writes for the MC. MC is very distinctive. It's interesting that you bring up MC losing their voice though bc that may or may not be a plot point later on. MC not really having another hobby is also kind of intentional. They will shift and change, but at this stage, you're playing as a very obsessed little creature. Their only real hobby besides singing rn is collecting vinyls. So I totally get what you're saying and I understand MC feels limited, but rn, that's kind of just how they are. Things may change. Others may not. Chapter 2 will give a lot more insight on MC, and a bunch more choices for y'all to make about them.

[donnatroia]

I really really wanna know more about Donna Troyyy, so far I love her so much but I don't wanna be the type of person who claims they love a character then can't name 5 things about them. I wanna do her justice and really understand her character and purpose. I also don't wanna read something that completely mischaracterizes her because I'm aware that there's a LOT of that these days. I was hoping you could give me some recommendations to read after my tests?

Thank you so much if you do, and have a wonderful day! <3

I think I can help with that! Luckily donna's characterization is pretty solid & consistent in any comic up to around 2006. i would be wary of more modern interpretations of her but for most of her older appearances you don't really have to worry about bad writing.

The number 1 rec for donna is always New Teen Titans, that's where pretty much the majority of her appearances and character development take place in the 80s and 90s. The whole series is very long though so if you want more specific recommendations that focus on her I would definitely read ntt vol 1 #38, vol 2 #7-9, #18-21, #47, and #50-55. Issues 18-21 especially are probably my number one rec for donna if you're interested in seeing her flaws and struggles; those four issues took place when the titans were kind of falling apart, donna had to step up and call the shots, and it's a really neat insight into her character that i don't think gets quite as much attention as arcs like her origin stories. You'll probably honestly get a good feel for her if you pick any couple of arcs from NTT and read them through.

Wonder Woman (1987) #126-136 is a very important arc that reiterates donna's borderline horror dimension-bending origin weirdness. Titans '99 is a must-read for her, and jumping off that the Return of Donna Troy miniseries is like... Thee donna comic of all time so i would definitely recommend that. In between ntt and titans 99 she was in things like green lantern and darkstars but honestly the biggest things for her character you have to know from that time are that she and terry got divorced, she was dating kyle rayner, terry tried to take custody away from her, and terry & robbie died in a car accident.

There are way more detailed and comprehensive rec lists you can find in my donna tag if you're interested- I left out arcs like total chaos which are narratively very important for her but i don't think are quite as good a showcase for her as a character- but I think if you just want to get a feel for her character these are a good place to start. if you want like a primer on some of her major character traits i can definitely provide that lol:

donna is an incredibly emotionally intelligent and kind person who is a very good listener and always ready to help, which is why she's pretty much the #1 trusted person every single titan goes to when they need to vent. unfortunately being the appointed Fixer of All Problems Mom Friend when you're like barely an adult gets pretty overwhelming and is a very unfair weight to put a person; you can see this start to grate on her in titans 99 especially. something I like about donna is how open and honest she is with people about her struggles. most characters in the superhero genre would rather die than admit they need help and will never ever talk about their problems without being forced to, but donna isn't like that. if you ask her what's wrong she's going to be honest and tell you what's bothering her. she struggles a LOT with trying to appear 'perfect' in everyone else's eyes, and is really motivated by seeming to have it all together even when she doesn't. this is fueled a lot by her not being born an amazon and not knowing where she came from; the fact that for a lot of ntt she doesn't know her own history really gets under her skin. donna's identity issues are a HUGE part of her character especially later on as retcons and reboots get folded into her story. her past doesn't make sense. she has like nine competing backstories. she's one of the only people to remember the world pre-crisis on infinite earths and has literally been been forced out of existence and remade through pure memories, not to mention all the times dark angel forced her to live different lives until she reached rock bottom as a punishment for diana lol. in one origin she literally is not a real person and was just a mirror twin of diana. the main tagline associated with her is 'who is donna troy?' lol. which i think is fascinating and a very fucked up existence.

Anyway! I can talk about my girl all day. I hope this was at least a little bit helpful!

[starwarsmum]

Day 29 of Jasonette July: Accidentally in Love

@maribat-calendar-events

Link to AO3

Jason was running down the streets that led to Marinette’s apartment fast enough that he worried distantly that he would slip and hurt himself irrevocably. It had rained recently enough and the floors were still slick since the sun didn’t come out enough to dry it.  But the thought that he might miss his chance to talk to her before she ran away from Gotham made sure his feet didn't slow. 

He didn't know what was going on between them but he refused to let her slip away without getting to the bottom of it. Which is how he ended up outside her apartment building, breathing hard and ringing the bell determinedly as he waited for her to answer. He refused to believe that she was already gone; even he wasn't that unlucky. 

When she opened the door it was clear she was reluctant to let him in. He didn’t understand how things had gone so wrong, they’d seemed on the same page up until he’d been out with Steph. She didn’t say anything but stepped back to let him in, maintaining her silence all the way until they were standing awkwardly in her living room. He ran a hand through his hair, trying to pick a place to start. 

“So I hear you went to visit Roy,” he said finally, leaning against the back of her sofa. He didn’t dare look at her, not yet, not until he had a grip on his own feelings. Which felt impossible. 

“Yeah, well I needed to…I can’t take the yarn with me when I…” She kept trailing off, her voice faltering. 

“I don’t get it, what’s the problem?” he muttered, jaw clenching as he pushed back the anger that felt a little too green to be all his. 

“What?” Marinette said, and he felt the tension between them breaking into something sharp. 

“I said, ‘what’s the problem?’” he said, frowning down at where she was playing with her fingers. She only did that when she was nervous, or overthinking, and he wanted to take hold of them and make them still. 

“There's no problem. I just…I've been here so much longer than I ever meant to be and I think it's…it's time for me to move on,” she said quietly, still not looking at him. He felt it like a knife to the gut and he had to take a moment to gather himself together. 

“Pix, what's goin’ on? I thought things were- I thought you were thinkin’ about stayin’.” 

“I changed my mind,” she said, shoulders curling in around her. He knew things had been weird between them for the past couple of days but he didn't think it was anything they couldn't figure out. Hell, he was prepared to flat out deny everything Kon had recorded that night if it meant she would stay. Besides, friends fell out and made up all the time, and that's all they were. 

Liar, a little voice hissed in his mind, but he shoved it away. He swallowed and tried to make sense of what was going on. 

“Is it somethin’ I did? ’Cos I thought we were good but if there's-” 

“You didn't do anything wrong, Jason. We both agreed this wasn't permanent, that I had to leave-” 

“Maybe I’d believe that if you’d said more than four words in a row to me in the past week before today,” he shot back, panic building somewhere in his chest. They had to be able to fix this, it couldn’t end like this. Not when she wouldn’t look at him, wouldn’t even talk to him. 

Marinette shook her head frantically, desperately looking for a way out of this that didn’t expose the feelings she hadn’t realised she had. She tried again, mouth tasting like ash. “I’ve been busy, I’ve barely talked to anyone-” 

“No,” he said, holding her shoulders tightly as she stumbled backwards. If she'd really been trying he wouldn't have kept hold but part of her was leaning into the easy strength and warmth in his hands. “I know I'm kinda stupid but even I know that's bullshit. You've been pullin’ away for days and I wanna know what I did. Please, Pix, you're killin’ me.” 

“You didn't call either,” she said immediately, arms curved around her as though it could keep all of her feelings inside. 

“‘Cos you said you needed space to do somethin’! You asked me to wait and I did, but now you're runnin’ like somethin's chasin’ you and I'm startin’ to think it's me.” 

“Jay-”

“So if I did somethin’ or you found out somethin’ that's makin’ you second guess things-” 

“I fell in love with you!” She blurted out, throat tightening when he looked at her nonplussed. “I didn't- it wasn't on purpose but I fell in love and when I realised it I was too late so I wanted to give you a clean break-” 

“You- whaddaya mean too late? I'm crazy about you, Nette, I thought you knew that-” 

“But you have a girlfriend now so it doesn't matter how I feel-” she said, not really hearing anything he said. Or at least not registering it as she spiralled into distress that she couldn't have him anymore. 

He pulled her roughly forward and she broke off when his lips crushed into hers. Her defences crumpled like wet tissue paper, hands fisting in his shirt and keeping him close while she kissed him back fiercely. She didn't know if this was a goodbye or something else but it was like he was a drug she'd gotten addicted to and maybe just one more hit would let her cut off clean. It wasn't true, she knew that kissing him again was only going to reset all the work she'd done this past week by staying away from him but she couldn't help herself. 

“Marinette, I love you,” he panted, lifting her by the rear to pin her against a wall before kissing her again. He kept speaking whenever they broke apart. “God I love you. Don't go, please.”

“Jason,” she moaned, fingers already tangled in his hair and heart trying to beat its way out of her chest. He broke away, still panting, and rested his forehead against hers. “I can’t- please, I don’t want to hurt things with you and-” 

“Pix, I have no idea why you think there’s anyone else but there isn’t,” he choked out, pulling her even closer. “Stay, Nette, please. I’ve been in love with you for so long and all I wanna do is keep you near. I promise to be as much as I can for you, just don’t go.” 

She nodded dumbly, her voice caught behind the lump in her throat. Then she kissed him again.

[ch0lwrld]

10:04 PM (pt.2)

warnings: suggestive? they don't really do anything, mentions spoiler for jujutsu kaizen (sorry) a/n: here is the continuationnnn of pt1 hope you like it I worked really hard on it LMAO I put more effort into writing these fics instead of my assignments guys. lmk what you think! ✍️ proofread by me and @watariisbestboy

You had just picked up Soobin, already returning to your apartment. It was a movie night, and you knew how busy he was, but he insisted on spending time with you before leaving for his tour, even with the preparations already in full force. He was still making time for you, nonetheless.

As you reach a red light, Soobin urges you to look at a picture he took earlier. He wants you to compliment him on their new concept, but you don't dare fall for his tricks.

"Wow," you say in mock awe.

"You didn't even look, ugh, here!" he practically forces the phone into your face. The brightness blinds you briefly before you look at the photo. Damn, he looked good. The photo in front of you entirely took you away. Now you know how MOA feels. And he took your silence as an agreement. 

"I know I'm so sexy in this, right?"

"No, I was looking at Beomgyu. He's been looking a little too good recently, and the long hair suits him." You genuinely complimented the guy.

"Ew, please, I look better. Next thing you know, I'll be in a mullet for the next shoot. Ah, look at this one!" Soobin attempts to show you the next photo, but the light has already turned green. 

"Whatever, I know what you'll say anyways," and he continues to smile at himself, tapping away at his screen. 

"Okay, mister, and speaking of your bandmates, when am I meeting them?" you had been meaning to meet the four of them. Soobin always talks about them, and it warms your heart to know he has such kind people to surround him in such a stressful field. Recently, Hueningkai had texted you, but you didn't believe it was him. It would make sense since you know Soobin, but you were still cautious. You had forced him to prove himself, and when he sent a sneaky pic of him and Soobin sleeping in the background, you just had to believe him. Kai told you that Soobin mentioned your guys' similar plushie collections, and your friendship grew from there. 

"I know you just want to because of Beomgyu, but no, you can't. You're mine."

Oh, does he know what that does to your heart?

"…Maybe, BUT I really wanna meet Kai. Kai has been showing me the recent penguin plushie he bought, and I wanna meet a fellow squishmallow connoisseur." 

"You feed his addictions; it's not good. And I don't even know how he got your number!" He suspects that Kai took his phone to steal it from him after mentioning you once to the guys. He regrets ever bringing you up because now you and the guys want to meet one another, and he can't have that happen as much as he appreciates the people he loves the most actually liking each other; he likes the dates the two of you have... just you two. 

"Whatever! I'll meet them one day. It's bound to happen~."

"Maybe one day.." As his sentence begins to trail off, the expression on his face changes to a familiar one that tells you he's thinking. 

"But you and I both know you would never be able to say a word to Beomgyu. Also... why is he your bias? Hello, I'm right here!" He's been pestering you about that ever since his debut. 

He doesn't understand why you would not like him the most. He's your best friend, why Beomgyu?!

"That might be true, but don't call me out. Let me live." 

"Yeah, in your delusions? It's unhealthy to be stuck there, but I can help you get out."

You had already reached your apartment's parking garage, settling into your designated parking spot and turning your car off. 

"Yeah? And how's that?" you turn to look at him to see what he means.

He places his arm behind your car's headrest and points at himself with his other hand. 

"Me." and he has that damned grin on his face. You push him lightly with the palm of your hand, but enough to see that he has hit the back of his seat. Your giggles are all that's left before you begin packing your things. 

"Sure," you say as you gather your phone and keys from their holders—the car doors closing, resonating throughout the garage walls, and the familiar smell of gasoline and others you can't name became more prominent.

"Oh, come on, you know you love me," and he wiggles his eyebrows in your direction.

"I only use you for body heat, if anything." you look at him deadpan.

"Oh, so I'm being used." he feigns hurt, hand against his chest as you walk towards the elevators. 

"Yup!" You comment gleefully.

——-/-——-/-——

The time you take to reach your apartment feels like little to nothing despite you taking residence on the 20th floor. Quick banter and giggles fill the halls. You fear one of your neighbors will hear and complain. 

Once inside, he removes his shoes and slips into the slippers you bought for him with enlarged eyes and vibrant blue peeking out from under his sweats. He smiles to himself, reminded of his fond memory of you surprising him with the pair. He recognized them the instant you had flaunted them in your hands, already wearing the matching pair in a light green. You had shown him a video of the slippers once, insistent that you needed them because they could tongue kiss and hold hands. 

Making himself comfortable on your couch, he grabs the remote as it's his turn to pick the movie for tonight. He had nothing in mind but wandered to those Studio Ghibli films you love. He could understand why you liked them so much, having watched all of them with you on a movie marathon. He was happy to see you indulge yourself in the numerous scenes played on screen and be there for you when it got emotional. You were the type to cry during movies, and he cherishes the fact his shoulder is the one you chose to cry on. You set the snacks you prepared beforehand on the coffee table in front of him before heading to your room to get ready.

When you return, he's on his phone but quickly looks up to see you in one of the hoodies he thought he lost. But unfortunately, he's not too mad seeing you being its captor. If anything, butterflies fill his stomach, and he distracts himself by scooting to make space for you beside him. 

Your small figure in his hoodie does things to his heart, and he knows he's got to do something about these feelings he has for you. But it's probably too late, seeing how affected he is, and you aren't even cuddling yet. 

You take your place on the couch, snuggling into his side and placing the blanket over the both of you. The warmth that floods you is comforting against the cool air. You look at the screen ahead, and your eyes widen slightly as you recognize the familiar title. 

"Ponyo? I thought you wanted to watch that one anime you like." You were curious why he had picked the movie since it was one that you watched when you were feeling down or just needed something to listen to while you slept. You forget the unfortunate end of a particular character he loves, as you mention in the anime series. The mood then dampens, and his expression becomes downturned. 

"Ahh, sorry, I forgot he died. RIP Gojo"

"Too soon…" he says. "It's bad enough. I had to be reminded of it live the other day." You remember seeing this moment live (what can you say? You're a fan!) and could only watch and adore the cute expressions on his and Kai's face.

"Sorry, sorry," you say, chuckling at his expression. You poke the sides of his cheeks, feeling pity about his loss. "Let's just watch the movie then."

——-/-——-/-——

As the movie begins to play, a scene comes up where Ponyo heads straight for Sosuke. She passes the mom, who holds her arms open for the little girl, only to see her run and hug her son just behind her. It's an adorable scene, and you can feel the pure childlike happiness flowing from it. It's reasons like these that have always drawn you to these films. 

Suddenly, Soobin nudges your shoulder to get your attention. 

"That's us," eyes never straying from the scene before him. 

"Yeah, and you're the mom, right?"

"Shut up.. hey we should dress up for Halloween together."

"Yeah? You as Sosuke and me as Ponyo?" You suggest.

"Yeah! I'm sure I have a plain yellow shirt somewhere.." He ponders the thought that, if anything, he can always scavenge through the other guys' clothes.

"You fit the part, but.. I don't know how I would look as a ginger. Never thought of myself in red." Honestly, you thought red was good as a clothing choice, and you had never dyed your hair besides when you thought going blonde was a good idea. But, ever since, you stuck to staying natural.

"Well, we can buy a wig and test it out, so you don't have to commit. No matter what, I think you'll look cute."

"Maybe… oh, but my friends are gonna be on my ass about this." The realization dawns on you. How could you forget? Their nagging comments still ring in your ears (out of love <3). 

"Why?" he questions, cocking his head to the side. 

"Couples costumes? They already think we're in cahoots." You say as you quote the last word with your hands. 

"Of course, I always tell them you don't think of me as anything more than a friend." you let out a nervous laugh and take a bite of the treats before you to distract yourself after revealing such information. You think about all the times Soobin has come over, and your roommate mischievously wiggled her eyebrows at you. 

They'd get a kick out of this one…

“…”

But when Soobin doesn't say anything, it worries you a bit. Did you say something wrong? 

"Hey, is something wrong?"

"No, I just.. it.. Nevermind." 

"You sure? You know you can always tell me. I won't judge." You can tell he's hesitating, but you don't want to pressure him. You're already ready to take back your statement, but he begins to speak up again.

"I... I know you won't. It's just, what if I see you like that... more than a friend, I mean."

You pause. What? 

There's no way that Choi Soobin would like you, of all people? I mean.. he's surrounded by beautiful idols every day at work... What could he ever see in you romantically? You're way out of his league, and the thought has your mind doing laps. You don't know what to say, and he takes your silence as a rejection.

"Sorry, I knew it was stupid. I didn't want to make it awkward; I just thought that tonight would be the night I would finally be able to tell you how I felt."

You continue to stare at him as he fiddles with his fingers. His eyes are darted to the side, away from your knowing gaze. But he continues to spill his heart out for you to hear.

"Maybe it was just me or the way the guys would tell me you might feel the same that's making me say this… Sorry, I shouldn't have told you. I was worried I would ruin what we had, and I couldn't lose you, but.. Ugh, I've already done it."

His shoulders shake as he closes in on himself, regretting his decisions. You immediately take his hands in yours, making him look back at you from the sudden contact. 

"You don't have to say anymore, Binnie." as you place one of your hands on his cheek, his eyes watery, you hate that you're making him feel this way.

You couldn't bear watching as he beat himself up over this. You couldn't after knowing that the possibility he liked you back was real.

"And what if I told you I liked you too?" you whisper, already so afraid as you watch his eyes widen. You couldn't continue to deny your feelings and refuse him because you felt like you weren't fit to be by his side. You wanted to take this moment to finally tell him that all those dates were starting to feel way more than just two friends hanging out. His smiles are the highlight of your day, and his laughter and the sight of his dimples as he grins, are something you wish to see any second you can, especially if you were the one who caused it. That the mere touch of his hand against your own sends your heart soaring out of your chest? That- 

And before you know it, everything has been said. Words slip from your lips faster than you could think, and your distance decreases. Teary eyes stare into teary eyes in the dim light of your living room.

"Can I.. kiss you?" 

All you can manage is a meek nod in his direction before your eyes shut. The feeling of his lips against your own was so soft and everything you could've imagined and more.. you could feel your heart leaping out of your chest, and you worry he can hear it. Your hand on his is starting to tremble, but he only grasps them, rubbing circles to soothe your nerves. 

You meld together so well; finally, having him like this does wonders for your heart. When you finally separate, your hands and legs feel like jelly, and you can only see the soft smile creeping up on his face. A reddish hue can be seen along his cheeks, and you can only imagine the damage it's done to your own.

The movie is long forgotten, and the sound of your heart beating against your eardrums is all you can hear. Even in the quiet of the room, he whispers.

"I like you, y/n—a lot. And I hope that... if you will. Will you allow me to be your boyfriend?" And you don't dare hesitate to answer. 

"Yes! Over and over again, yes!" you say in a giggling fit. You're now straddling his lap and entangling your limbs in his clumsily. You never thought reciprocating feelings with your best friend would feel like this, but you never want it to end.

"Does this mean I can finally do this?" you ask.

He looks at you curiously, tilting his head adorably as you attack his face with pecks and kisses. Hearing his yelps of "help!" followed by giggles. Oh, the things you would do to listen to his laughter on replay.

"Oh my god, get a room." a voice states their presence. 

You jump from your spot on his lap as you both look up at the voice. Your friend had just left her room to refill her glass of water, judging by the empty cup in her hand, to walk in on you, peppering Soobin's face. Sure, she had wanted this to happen for a while, realizing your shared feelings long before you knew. Still, it doesn't make this scene less awkward. A feeling of shame fell upon the two of you, more so Soobin, as he didn't mean to get caught in such an intimate position by your roommate. You look back at him, see his guilty expression, and grab his hand to pull him into a standing position. 

"Maybe we should take this to my room instead," you chuckle. 

You lead him to your bedroom, just a few steps away. He follows behind you, enveloping you in a back-hug, head on your shoulder as you struggle to shuffle your way into the room. 

"I love you." He mumbles near your ear. 

"Moving so fast? We just confessed."

"It's not like I haven't said it before! And plus..." 

You know that it's because its meaning has changed now that you reply back, "I love you too."

[my-castles-crumbling]

Anon Advice Asks - February 3rd

w anon, misunderstanding anon (new), thoughts anon (tw: abuse), confession ig anon (new), guess anon (tw: abuse)

W Anon

Hey cas!

Not exactly a vent today, it's writing advice/support

I have this idea for a marauders fic I wanna write. Its something I think I could write well and I want to create it for other people to read. But I haven't written a lot of fanfic, mostly because I feel weird writing about charecters other people see differently. And not in the jkr sense like idc so much abt og authors tho I do plan to follow some canon, more the problem is I just feel really hesitant to put my work up in a place where other people *also* write about the exact same charecters and have equal rights to me in terms of its not like they're my charecters, because I don't want other people's vision to affect mine. Idk. I know I could just not share but I feel like it fills a hole in the vast tapestry of fan fic cause if it didn't, I could just go read abt it instead of having to write it. I went through a list of all the named marauders Era charecters and figured I'd pick a couple to use that don't feel so fleshed out in fanon so that I don't have to stress abt that aspect of it. Basically I love barty as a charecter and I feel like my idea of him matches enough that I can write him, but not so much like remus or lily or like Marlene and Mary and the other female charecters? Especially for the girls there seems to be so little Canon but they always seem written so complexely it scares me.

Also parents by yungblud was actually written by barty I don't make the rules.

-W

Honestly, I think you should write about and post about whoever you want! Why do other people in fandom have more of a right to characters than you do? (Hint: they don't.) You have every right to write characters how you want, and I guarantee you that someone out there will love how you write them BECAUSE it's different. And anyone who doesn't can use the back button or fuck right off.

______________

Misunderstanding Anon

Okay. So, I accidentally had a small misunderstanding with an only partial acquaintance at the time and it accidentally turned into one of the biggest lies I've ever told?

At first I just let it go because like... what does it matter? It's not like it's really going to make a difference anyway? And we're not even friends so who cares?

But now we're like months into our relationship and what had started off as it wouldn't matter has slowly turned into, well fuck how am I supposed to tell him now??

And it's not a big lie either! As an example it would be like he assumed I was vegetarian and I wasn't, but now it gets brought up so much and my anxiety had just kinda forced me into pretending it's true so now I'm like fuck is this my life from now on?

Because it's gotten to the point where it just feels like this HUGE secret and I know you'll say to come clean, but what if he hates me for lying this whole time?

I could try to explain that it really was a misunderstanding at first, and I know it wasn't right of me to not correct it when things started getting serious, but he's so big about honesty and I'm just so worried this would make us fall apart?

Its just over something SO stupid and I have no idea what I'm going to do??

*anyone else seeing this is free to jump in too if you have thoughts😭*

Hi <3

Okay so this is honestly (ha) a really hard situation because there's no easy answer. But let's think of the possibilities.

Let's say you don't say anything. Then from there, he could either never find out and you continue to feel guilty like this (doesn't sound fun) or he DOES find out, but from someone else. I think probably wouldn't end up good.

Let's say you DO say something. He could get mad, yeah. But at least you're in control of when and where that happens. And maybe if you write something out, similarly to how you did here, he'll understand and your relationship will be okay.

So yea...there's no easy decision. But I'm not gonna lie, I think you should tell him. Especially if it's a small thing, I think the odds are you can get through it if you tell him on your own.

_____________________

Thoughts Anon

Hi hon <3

I'm so sorry about what happened with you and V.

Here's the thing, I'm not sure how much YOU can do. If V's parents are doing something abusive (like...from a legal standpoint) then what I would suggest is to have V's friend who lives nearby report them. But ONLY do that if you're sure you can prove the abuse. Because if not, that'll just piss them off more.

If you can't prove abuse, then the best thing to do, sadly, is to wait. Because if you keep trying to contact her, her parents could see and it could make them angrier. Try to stay in contact with her through her friend to know she's okay and leave it at that. I'm sure she'll eventually find a way to contact you <3

________________________

Justify Anon

Hi, it's justify anon again (sorry)

So one of my close school friends had to fly out to another country the other day because her grandpa was ill (it's the middle of the term, so not really convenient) and I found out this morning that he died. You don't have to answer this if it's triggering or upsetting or anything, but if you do, I'd really appreciate it if you could give me some advice on how to be there for her when she comes back.

Thank you, I hope you have a great day <3

Hi <3

I think just reminding her that you're there to talk to, and also asking questions about good memories of him. I've found that people who've lost loved ones tend to like to talk about the good times, like relive good memories. So you can be there to listen to those <3

_________________

Confession ig anon

I'm just gonna put the first part of your ask

hey cas, I've sent some asks before but under a diff name, because this isn't smth I want to really talk about a lot it's just kind of a confession ig?

Okay I'm not trying to negate your feelings at all, but i'm going to very gently suggest that maybe you're confusing enjoying attention with actual feelings. It's okay to enjoy attention, but that doesn't mean you have genuine feelings of attraction, you know? And like you said...hormones can do crazy things. I say this because when you mention him, you have only talk about how he treats you, not anything about him or who he is as a person.

So maybe you can keep in mind how you like to be treated, and look for someone who treats you that way, that you also like as a person and is healthy for you.

______________________

Guess Anon

Hi Cas,

Guess Anon here

It's okay that you didn't see it - I was debating sending this for a good week before I saw him and only plucked up the courage the night before so its mostly my fault - I know you get a lot of asks as well too.

I just don't want him to find out that I'm repeatedly lying to him cause that'll make him more and more angry, and trust me that isn't safe.

Luckily my sister goes back to University soon, and generally he only sees us when its the both of us rather than just one kid, so hopefully I wont have to see him until whenever my sister visits. I also rely on him a bit (?) He pays like £13 child support per kid per month - but only if the kid is in education, hence why he's still paying for my sister thats in Uni - which means as soon as he knows that I'm not in college, my mum will receive £13 less - which yes, isnt much, but also we are really poor. He could pay more and I know he could, when we go out he's always buying me and my sister stuff (probably to lovebomb(?) us into hanging out with him)

I hope that when he finds out, he isn't violent, but this is the man that was very violent to me when I was a baby, so I know my hopes wont mean shit to him.

When he finds out, and if he is angry, I will probably message you if thats okay, and I'll come off of anon (obv you probably know who it is already, this is more for when you share it etc)

Thank you again Cas

Yes please keep me updated! Just remember that whatever you need to do to stay safe- lying, staying away from him, whatever, is totally valid. You don't owe him anything.

[jawllines]

I MADE THE MISTAKE OF READING GRAD SCHOOL RIVALRY AND NOW I DON'T WANNA READ ANYTHING ELSE. ESPECIALLY FROM YOU. OHMYGOD OHMYGOD OHMYGOD I'm freaking out. I don't care what you say and what others say, this is the best story you've ever written...well at least to me it is. And I'm gonna tell you why I think that. But let me just say that it was so good that I might have cried about it more than once just because of its sheer perfection. It's just so perfect I want to keep it in a glass box. Like this fic filled a hole in my heart, like this checked all of my 'expectations from a fic' boxes that I didn't even know I had.

At first I was debating if I should start it because we are already two parts in for chefrry and I'm enjoying it so much that I didn't wanna start anything else from you. But this one was also tempting me from a very long time so I just figured that we still have a lot of time for chefrry part 3 so I'd better finish this one. It was a mistake. Big mistake. Huge!

Everytime I read something that hits me differently I need to take a little break from reading and it has happened with your fics before where I finish reading something then think about it for days and I can't get myself out of it to read something else. I don't know what that says about me but I'm like this. This one though, hit me a bit harder because it's been almost a month since i finished reading it but I'm still thinking about it and I can't believe I read something so perfect. And I was like I can't read anything else now I just need to be in this world forever. Do you understand? Your stories make me take a break from reading but this one was extreme. I didn't know what to do with myself. It was so perfect I was going mad. I couldn't fucking focus on anything. I was about to send you this ask sooner but I just needed to gather my thoughts first.

You're my comfort writer. I like literally everything you write. I have said this to you before and I'm gonna say it a million times more....your writing is amazing and I haven't found anyone else like you and I'm glad I did find you. But I'm an annoying reader. I pay too much attention to things that probably didn't need attention, I pick apart details, I find flaws. I'm really annoying about timelines and I would spend hours figuring out if the dates mentioned in the fic I'm reading matches, if the timeline of the story makes sense. I do it with your stories too and while I don't necessarily find flaws or continuation errors or whatever, I do often leave with lots of questions and wanting more chapters that can provide answers. I remember after reading prince harry and demon hunter harry (two of my favourites of yours that made me think for days) I sent you long asks filled with questions that were never answered but seemed necessary to the storyline. And I understand that they are super old fics so it might not be easy for you to answer those questions anymore. And I understand it's not a problem for others because they probably didn't binge read so they wouldn't remember the small fucking details from the previous chapter very clearly. I pay too fucking much attention and I binge read and when there's a new chapter coming I re read the previous ones so that I don't forget anything and that's my problem. (I have to re watch Stranger Things season 1-4 before season 5 comes out even though I still remember what happened in all of those seasons). But with grad school rivalry I didn't have any questions (actually I have one question and also the timeline doesn't make sense sometimes but I'm ignoring them) and I am absolutely thoroughly utterly happy with the way it ended and it doesn't leave me wanting another part. Though I'd absolutely devour another update of them. But the story seems complete. I don't feel like I'm dying to know what happens to them next because the ending very much seemed like they are gonna live their happily ever after. I just can't emphasize enough how perfect it was.

And one more thing which I have to mention because it's so important and you deserve more credit for it. And forgive my shitty english I don't know how to express this properly but your writing is versatile. There are so many writers who seem to be stuck in a pattern. Their writing style don't appeal to me. Their characters don't change, they have the same traits, same backgrounds, same problems and same traumas in every fic they write and plotlines are more or less same in every fic. Like they just get comfortable writing their characters like that and they don't wanna get out of that zone. And I'm sorry if I'm being cruel here but I don't care if you're writing fanfiction. You're still creating a form of art, you're spending your time on that and I'm spending my time reading that so why not actually be creative and not write the same thing over and over again!!! Which is why I'm so grateful for you and some other awesome writers that I found here. You guys experiment with your stories and your characters and create different worlds arround those. You write every story very differently even though there's similarities and patterns that make it obvious it's a Miss Jaws fic. Like you use same words or phrases but the context is different. Your characters in every fic has different personalities to them and sometimes they are similar in someways, but they're also very different. Your writing is very refreshing and very interesting even if it's like the same old tropes that thousand other people are writing about and you write them in a way that makes it very comforting.

You wrote about cult in vampire yn fic and you also wrote about cult in one of your vamprry fics and everything about those were so different. Both cults were different, the effect they had on the characters were different. The way you write insecurities is also very interesting. In chefrry for example, yn is so pathetically insecure and self-conscious, but sometimes she can act confident to get what she wants. Sometimes. On the other hand grad school rivalry yn is super confident, knows what she's doing knows what she wants and she's gonna make sure she gets what she wants but she's also insecure. Both their insecurities are kinda same but very very different. Chef yn is confident enough to try and get with chefrry but grad school yn even after what they've been through together and the progress they've made in their relationship/friendship, she still doesn't know if she's supposed to want harry, if she it's right to feel jealous or possessive over him him. And these differences depend on the context right, like what the story is, what the dynamic between these people are. Which is another thing I wanted to say, in Chefrry from the first chapter it's feels like they're destined to fuck and be obsessed with eachother and that's where the story is going, that's what all this build up is about. But in grad school rivalry, even though there's so much tension from the beginning and it's clear they're gonna be obsessed with eachother eventually and they are probably soulmates, there's still some uncertainty where the story is going because of the character dynamic and how they act around eachother. Like every little detail can make a difference. I'm so grateful to you that you take your time doing this for us.

And I know I said chefrry is at the top of my FEEL HOT AND HORNY list but I think grad school rivalry is gonna tie with it because the smut was filthy and I felt hot and horny throughout because their dynamic was too hot. BUT it's gonna be at the top of FEEL GOOD AND WARM too because MY GOD the wholesome feelings I got throughout the story is insane and I fear nothing can beat that and their dynamic was also very sweet and yn's relationship with her roommates ughhh I just wanna drown in that story forever. I love myself some filth but I'm always gonna take filth with extra like 100x wholesomeness and grad school rivalry was exactly that fic. Thank you so much for giving it to us. I can't thank you enough really.

Now I'm gonna prepare to read chefrry part 3. I'm also realising that this was not the perfect time to send this ask because today is chefrry part 3 day. So this one's probably gonna be lost in the sea of asks you get but I had to do it before reading part 3. Hope you see this and it inspires you to write more AOB fics where yn is an alpha for a change or more enemies to lovers fic because no one does it better than you. Okay enough of my ramblings. Bye!!!! I love you!!!!!!

FIRST AND FOREMOST EEEEEEEEEEEEK!!! I LOVE LONG MESSAGES LIKE THESE!! IM GLAD THAT YOU FOUND A FIC OF MINE THAT MADE YOU FEEL THIS WAY, ESPECIALLY THOSE TWO!! I FORGOT ABOUT THEM A LITTLE BIT, BUT THEY WERE SO FUN TO WRITE I MIGHT HAVE TO BRING THEM BACK FOR A CHECK-IN!

I DEFINITELY GET WHAT YOU MEAN ABOUT READING A FIC AND NEEDING TO STAY IN THAT UNIVERSE FOR A LITTLE WHILE!! OR ELSE IM LIKE DESPERATE TO FIND ANOTHER FIC THAT MADE ME FEEL EXACTLY LIKE THAT ONE AND ITS HIT OR MISS IF THAT CAN BE ACCOMPLISHED. ITS LIKE THAT WHEN I WRITE TOO!! SOMETIMES WHEN I'VE BEEN WRITING THE SAME PAIR FOR MONTHS, HAVING TO SWITCH TO A DIFFERENT PAIR IN A DIFFERENT AU IS HARD!! AND I MISS THEM D: BUT WHENEVER YOU GUYS SEEM EXCITED IT KEEPS ME ENCOURAGED TO KEEP ON WITH THE NEW FIC!!

IM GLAD THAT YOU CAN READ THROUGH MY WRITING WITHOUT GOING CRAZY!! ODFGOMFG ESPECIALLY IF YOU PAY ATTENTION TO DATES AND MONTHS, IM SO BAD AT KEEPING THAT STRAIGHT FROM PART TO PART LIKE SOMETIMES ILL REALIZE THAT THE WHOLE COURSE OF THE FIC HAS HAPPENED IN THE SPAN OF A MONTH AND A HALF AND IM LIKE WTF THAT IS NOT ENOUGH TIME FOR ALL THAT TO HAPPEN SO I TRY TO GO BACK AND FIX IT BUT SOMETIMES I DONT REALIZE UNTIL AFTER IVE ALREADY POSTED!!

ITS NEVER ANNOYING TO ASK QUESTIONS!! IT IS A LITTLE HARDER FOR ME WITH AUS THAT I WROTE A WHILE AGO BUT I CAN ALWAYS TRY AND ANSWER ANYTHING YOU COME UP WITH!

IM LIKE SERIOUSLY SO HAPPY THAT YOU ENJOY MY FICS THIS MAKES MY HEART SUPER FULL! I WORRY SOMETIMES BECAUSE I KNOW I USE A LOT OF THE SAME PHRASES OR LITTLE THINGS FROM FIC TO FIC AND I ALWAYS WONDER IF THAT ANNOYS YOU GUYS BUT IM GLAD THAT YOU FIND IT A LIL DIFFERENT IN EACH AU THAT MAKES ME FEEL A LOT BETTER

IM HAPPY THAT GRAD SCHOOL RIVALRRY CAN BE BOTH HOT AND HORNY AND FEEL GOOD AND WARM THATS ALWAYS MY GOAL FOR ALL MY FICS OGMDOMFG I JUST WANNA MAKE YOU FEEL COZY AFTER YOU READ!!

I THINK WRITING ALPHA Y/N WOULD BE FUN!! I DO LIKE WRITING A/O/B IT ALWAYS ADDS AN EXTRA LAYER TO AN ALREADY INTERESTING SORT OF DYNAMIC SO ILL DO SOME MORE SOON!

I HOPE YOU LIKE CHEFRRY PART 3!!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH THANK YOU FOR THIS MESSAGE!!! (ALSO NEVER APOLOGIZE YOUR ENGLISH IS GREAT!!)

[rain--goblin]

I have a question. If something (like war water or another thing) has roots in hoodoo or a closed practice but doesn’t necessarily mean you define yourself as hoodoo and instead do it has a witchy thing in general, is that like? Bad? Should you not do that? Or as long as you don’t practice a closed practice your not apart of yourself and instead pick a few things that have roots in it is that okay? I don’t wanna have shit come back to me lmao

Everyone uses war water, don't worry.

Besides, it's also a part of Appalachian folk Magic, which itself is a Melting Pot but that's a different discussion.

I very much am Appalachian and I know somebody who very much has the title of Granny and besides that Appalachian folk magic isn't closed, tho it may be hard to pick up and integrate if you aren't in the appalachian mountains, so if you want war water then by all means make some it's really handy to have around.

Now I'm no expert or authority figure, I'm just someone with an overthinking problem who fucks around and waits for the universe to respond.

My rule of thumb is that if you can go outside and make something yourself or come up with something, or if a child could come up with it without having access to research, then you have the right to do it.

Also a lot of the details surrounding this debate are very american. I have talked to people outside of America and they do not have near as much gripe about it for the most part. Appreciation versus appropriation and actually understanding what you're doing versus just fucking around and having no respect.

I'd say as long as you don't have any ill intentions and you aren't doing anything to be malicious or disrespectful, nothing bad is going to come back on you. Simply because your intention wasn't to be disrespectful to anyone. Also I find it ridiculous for anyone to be punished if they just make a mistake while learning. We're all going to make mistakes, that's part of being human. Everyone has experimented in their practice and done something that maybe wasn't the smartest.

If you feel uncomfortable with any sort of practice or you don't feel right about something and it seems off to you, then you have the option to just play it safe and not partake until you have further information.

I believe that when it comes to your practice you should absolutely do lots of research and deep dive and try to figure out where certain things come from, being eclectic where you just have a Melting Pot of different practices is a fairly popular path but I am a believer that whatever you integrate, you should have some sort of knowledge of. Figure out it's history, where it comes from, all that, and then figure out from there if that's something that you really want in your practice and how you can best integrate it if you can at all.

Like for example, you can integrate runes into your practice without being full on Norse Pagan but you can't integrate something like hosting your own pow wows if you're not native american.

But also if you just come across a spell on Pinterest so you do it and then someone decides to yell at you and tell you you're going to be universally punished just because you copied a spell off the internet, you don't got to worry. You are not going to be punished just because you're learning. And a sane person isn't going to treat you like scum just for trying to learn and navigate.

You're actually more likely to be punished by a human with a control problem than you are to be punished by the universe or Divine beings for that. That's why it's best when you're learning to keep what you're doing quiet until you're more comfortable in your practice because there's always going to be someone spreading misinformation about what's closed and what's not to try to fear Monger and control you.

But do continue to ask people questions. It's good to get other viewpoints, just make sure to keep your head about you and really think through what makes sense to you and what doesn't.

[apologetic-artist]

HELLO APOLO I'm here to kind of just say "HOW ARE YOU" but also just take a moment to stop by to ask if you'd like to ramble about anything at all? Even if you'd like to talk about a favorite song! Or maybe a favorite tv show! Fandom! ANYTHING THAT MIGHT BE ON YOUR MIND.. I also enjoy learning about hobbies/interests others have! You always make such cool things and post about interesting places you go even if you want to share anything about that I'm all open to hear about it!! Anyways in general I love you VERY MUCH. You mean a lot to me and I hope you're taking very good care of yourself! Remember that self care is very important!

HI DOLL!!!

Sorry it took me a lil to respond. I had to figure out what I wanted to say, plus I was eating. I might as well touch on my trips that I do! A couple of things I've done were the children's museum I did today, a haunted house place, I'm going to a fossil and gem shop next week, and SO many other things. With all these experiences, I feel like I may go towards the path of geology! Since I love both fossils and ROCKS. Maybe even being an educator(?) of some kind.

Okay, now for an actual thing to talk about, again, it's hard to pick what to talk about despite loving to talk. I've already talked about dinos a lot, uhmm, I've mentioned basic premise of my OCs, uhhhhhh, I could talk about my DHMIS AU?? OH!! I KNOW!! I CAN TALK ABOUT THE DEATH SYSTEM IN MY AU!!! Trust, this is actually interesting(in my head) and one of my favorite things I've developed.

So, in the cycle, nobody can actually die. However, during the start of Lesley's Takeover/Midway through Clayhill, the TV teachers were created to spark more life into the town, which includes Corvus(Coffin). Lesley felt like it would give the others an answer of how death works and, I guess?, make a more calming situation. Even if the teachers can't die, they can feel immense amounts of pain. Corvus can take away that pain by just easily taking their hand and leading them to rest. The "Afterlife" is just a separate area closed off to all unless their "dead" or if Corvus allows them to. Everyone has a rest room to themselves, usually based around a calming memory to allow one to relax. For example, Tony's is his childhood bedroom, Shrignold's is modeled off of clouds and a field, any of the Health Band's is modeled off their old kitchen they used to own, so on so forth. Also, I wanna mention a "special case" of the rooms with Colin. He doesn't have a lot of good memories that he can return to to remind himself that everything will be alright so, with some help, he built his own room of his ideal place to relax and reset in. The others can use these rooms after "death" to either fully rest or recollect themselves before moving back to "living". There are also some special occasions where Corvus will allow someone to go rest in one of the rooms depending on the circumstances, like if someone was overwhelmed and can't find another place to hide. I feel like Corvus is a pretty understanding and laid-back person most of the time, being sure to allow anyone to use the rooms as needed or help people through things. I view him as a part of the "Therapist Friends" group. There are many people apart of this, but they all take care of different things and whatnot. Anyways, I feel like with this "death system" that Lesley created, it allows the teachers to feel a bit more human in a sense since their lives were practically taken away from them(again, mentioned this before, specifically the YT series teachers). Lesley is trying to fix what Roy did wrong, even if it isn't a true system. The teachers have tried every way of escape, and just Lesley adding something new there at least brings relief knowing that something is different. WHICH MAKES ME REMEMBER HOW THE MAIN THREE(Duck, Yellow, Red) SOMEWHAT ESCAPED!!! MAYBE LESLEY SET UP A LOOP SYSTEM THAT ESCAPE CAN'T BE TRUE BUT THERE'S AT LEAST SOMETHING THERE!! HOLY SHIT!! Sorry, I apologize, I completely forgot that some form of escape happens in the show and(in my opinion) fits so well.

Okay, that was another long ramble, and I'm glad you don't mind my long rambles bc I can just go on and on with no stop. I feel out of breath lol BUT I'm glad you're curious on what I have to talk about hehehe. I genuinely REALLY enjoy talking and talking about things that I'm interested in while people are also interested! Sometimes I feel like my rambles are a little incoherent because it's a little like how I talk irl by just continuing to speak but back track after to review and refresh. So, having you or anyone ask me to talk about anything I want, it helps me practice regaining my thoughts and make it somewhat followable. Thank you so so so SO much for stopping by and allowing me to speak about whatever. I love ya too Doll!! And I care about you too <3