#Back to grinding for meeeeeeee

[softservesoymilk]

Tried challenging the elite four today… I almost felt like crying 😅

[pika-blur]

fighting for my life (actually joined artfight early this year and still only did one drawing this month)

[sofiskin]

ok so can you write a fic where art is like the trainer? he’s training a girl on how to play tennis and he starts getting touchy grindin all up in her space?

right thanks ok

training season

— dilf!art x reader

as part of your scholarship at the academy, you were offered free lessons from any of the alumni of the school. considering this academy kinda sucks, options were limited, making art donaldson an obvious choice. at first, you wore tights to lessons, the seasons were shifting as you were just coming out of fall, leaving you shivering just before warming up before all your lessons. you dressed modestly. obviously. you hadn’t spoken to art much… you hadn’t felt his charm. however, times were changing; breezes passed and the sun came out as the sweat of summer shone on your skin in the open daylight. you started (gladly, at this point) wearing your skimpy little tennis skirts and dresses, ditching your lululemon tight zip-up tops for bra tops and tanks. this also meant the loss of grey sweatpant season for art… a terribly saddening realisation for you, who had spent the fall season staring at his bulge while you wished he wasn’t looking. does he even wear fucking underwear???

being trained by art was easier than you thought it’d be. with his ex-wife’s reputation, you expected hard work and minimal breaks from him.. but maybe he took a liking to you…? he was a very hands-on learner. he made sure to correct your form when you needed it, making direct eye contact as he gripped your wrists firmly, moving your arms in the direction of a perfected backhand.

on one hot night, you were trying and failing with a specific move art wanted you to practice with him. “you’re missing the bended knees, you’re too stiff in your shoulders… get down a bit lower, don’t be afraid to lean forward if you need…” he continued to serve the bright green balls at you as your sweat accumulated at your forehead and top lip. you fumble once more, causing art to sigh deeply, rushing to stand behind you. “i told you, lean forward…” he lets out puffs of hot air by your ear as he pushes you forward, your tennis skirt riding up. suddenly you can’t find the air to breathe properly. the warmth of Mr. Art Donaldson overwhelms you, traps you in his fleeting arms, forces you into submission.

is it possible to get drunk on a man’s temperature?

art notices. like always. he notices your knees buckling and your chest tightening and he moves closer and closer to your awaiting entrance. “here,” he starts, pulling back only his upper half, leaving his hips close to joined to yours, placing his large, sweaty hands on each side of your lower back, pushing you torso forward juuuuust ever so slightly. you let out a harsh gasp as you feel a certain someone against your ass. and, from what you can tell, god, he’s big. getting distracted, you feel around a bit, letting your behind slide up and down only a little bit, purely to satiate your curiosity. suddenly, art pushes further into you, grinding against you. still holding your hips, he leans his head forward, “i didn’t realise you were naughty like this, doll,” he fucking groans into your ear as he theoretically fucks your clothed ass, moaning and groaning right up against your ears.

aaaaand once again idk how to finish/continue this. plz send in asks to help meeeeeeee i want to complete something for onceeee!!!!! thx for reading 💗💗💗

[danganronpasurvivoraskblog]

(iii)

MAHIRUUUUUUUU!!!??

NO!

GRGH! Shit!

*The third Monokumu car bumps into the front of the vehicle hard. Everyone lurches in their seats, but Mahiru goes falling off the car and along the path! Ibuki tries to catch her, but just falls short of her hand!

Stop the car!

NO! DON'T!

But Mahiru-!

I'll be FINE! Have a little faith! Gagh...Ugh...Ow...

Puhuhuhu...!

Huh!?

Puhuhu...! PUHUHUHU!

*To everyone's surprise, the last remaining Monokuma car grinds to a halt and turns around...With a cackle, it slams it's paw on the accelerator and prepares to charge the photographer!

W-Wait...What is it doing!?

It's...going back for her!?

MAHIRU, MOVE!

Ugh! All right let's see it! Come and get it, tough guy!

*Mahiru however, doesn't move. She instead fiddles with her hacking cam and starts moving it's slider to switch bullets, as the car gets closer and closer.

Sorry, but it's my turn behind the wheel...!

GAAGH!

LINK!

*SNAP!*

!!!???

*Mahiru blasts the Monokuma with a rainbow colored blast of light, which makes the driver stop with a screech. Mahiru breaths a sigh of relief as a UI comes up on her camera screen.

Hoo...!

*Synced with the Monokuma, she climbs onto the back of the smaller car and holds on tight.

...

Ugh, this looks so stupid! It's basically a clown car!

Alright, how do I do this...Turn...Turn...Turn-left!?

*The car jolts several ways as Mahiru slides her thumbs across the screen, controlling the Monokuma.

Okay, buttons...uh...that one!

*She pushes an abnormal looking button on the dashboard of the car, and then.

*WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSH!*

HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEGGH!?

Huh!?

*She shoots off like a rocket!

HELP MEEEEEEEE!

GRRRGH!

*CATCH!* *BOOOOOOOOOMM!*

*Sonia reacts just in time and grabs Mahiru's arm before the car can rocket into the wall and explode! She pulls the photographer back onto the car, who is trembling.

That was awesome!

That was a nightmare! Let me back in!

*Mahiru desperately climbs through the rear window into the front seat again as Teruteru palms the pedal.

Ok everyone, brace yourselves!

A Long-Awaited Reunion: Part 3.

Turn...! Turn...! TURN! TURN! TURN!

UAGH! MAHIRU! Stop shouting TURN, it's NOT helping!

Sorry, I just don't like joyrides!

*Hiyoko and Teruteru drive the car full speed through the lab; Mahiru shouting every time they almost hit a wall.

RAAWWWRRR!

*RATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATAT!*

This is like playing one of Chiaki's zombie shooter games!

Then it's a good thing we have practice!

*Kazuichi and Ibuki perch themselves on the back of the truck, Ibuki handling the machine cannon perched to it, and Kazuichi firing back with his arm enhancements.

You guys got any idea where it might be!?

Just keeping following the trail!

Right, keep driving into the jaws of death! Because that always works.

Is it really that weird for us-Huh?

What's wrong?

...

*Ibuki lifts her head as she suddenly hears something out of the corner of her ear.

I...I hear something a little-

*CRAAAAAAAAAASSH!*

RAAAAAWRARHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Oh, like that!

Ok, what the FUCK is that!?

*Four Monokuma's suddenly come driving in in convertible vehicles, and give chase to the armed truck!

They're like! Car Monokuma's! Carmokuma's! MonoCARma's!?

Awesome! Now it really is a vehicle chase!

Stop laughing, this isn't funny!

Look, is the most amount of fun I've had since I got back and I think that's pretty sad, so let me live in this moment, ok!?

PUUHUHUHUHUHU!

*WHAAMM!*

GUGH!

EEEP!

BASTARD!

*BANG!* *BANG!* *BANG!*

*Ibuki and Kazuichi try firing back at the Kuma-Convertibles, but it barely slows them down as one of them rams into the back of the truck. Fuyuhiko shoots at the nearest one, which gets it to back off.

You got any weapons back here!?

Hold on! Let me out there!

H-Hey! Be careful Sonia!

*Sonia climbs through the back window and now sits on the back of the truck with the others. She then climbs onto the roof and gestures with her hand to move out of the way.

Eat this, cocksuckers!

*BRRRRAATATATATATATATATATATATATATAT!*

WAAAHOOHOOHOOHOO!

*With a machine rifle in her hand, Sonia fires a volley of shots that all bounce off the Kuma Cars.

PUHUHUHU!

*CLICK!* *WHIIIIRRRR!*

[jeongwife]

omg so picture this

u and lee chan watching a movie w like the other members and ur sitting on his lap and u keep like moving so u can get comfy and then he like grabs ur waist and like leans in to whisper and is like “stop moving baby, u wouldn’t wanna get punished would u?” and then u being the brat u are start like subtly grinding on his thighs but nobody else notices and eventually u end up cumming and soaking his pants and u turn back and like his eyes are all dark and then he tells the guys that u have to go home bc “u weren’t feeling good” and when u get outside he’s all like “i hope u had ur fun bc ur in for it now” 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 idk what i just did to myself brain is now malfunctioning -🫐

BLUEBERRY ANON WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM MEEEEEEEE I’M SHAKING CRYING SCREAMING THROWING UP RN 😭😵‍💫🥲☹️🤨🥲✨💗💔💔❤️🤩🥰🥲😗🤨🥲🧍🏻‍♀️🥲😵‍💫🤕🙂🙂🧎🏻‍♀️🙂😭🥺🧎🏻‍♀️🙂🙂🥲🥺🤡💗🚪🥲🚪🧍🏻‍♀️🤡💗🤡🥺🥲🧍🏻‍♀️

he’d probably feel a little embarrassed at first for getting turned on from just you squirming in his lap, thinking you’re genuinely just trying to get comfortable, but then you start circling your hips right against his crotch, and he realises that this has been your intention all along. he squeezes your hip, leaning in to whisper, “stop fucking moving, baby, don’t make me punish you.” you seem to listen, leading him to think that maybe he really could get through the rest of the movie without having to drag you away halfway. then you start squirming again, only much more purposeful as you shift to straddle his thigh to grind down on it, silently thankful you decided to wear a skirt today so that your pussy and his jeans are only separated by your lace panties. chan grips your hips firmly when you grind down harder, trying to get you to stop before he can get hard completely which the others will definitely notice and promptly tease him for. but at the same time, he can’t bring himself to stop you completely, so he watches with darkened eyes as you continue subtly moving your clothed pussy up and down his thigh until you cum from the feeling of the defined muscle rubbing against your clit. you cum so much that your juices are seeping through your thin panties, creating a wet patch on his jeans as you tremble from your orgasm.

eventually, your quiet pants alert the others, and when they ask if you’re okay, chan presses his hand to your forehead and feigns concern. “i think she’s a little feverish,” he tells the others convincingly, “she hasn’t been feeling well the past couple of days, but she still wanted to come so she could hang out with you guys.” the others are sympathetic, completely oblivious to the fact that your still-shaking body and hazy expression were a result of an orgasm, and practically demand chan take you home so you can rest. he presses a loving kiss to your temple before moving you off his lap so he can grab your bag, helping you into your jacket before ushering you out the door after saying goodbye to the others, hoping his cock isn’t straining too much against his jeans. his facade drops immediately once you’re in the car. “was that fun for you, sweetheart?” he asks darkly, “was it fun making me hard in front of everyone? i’m going to finger your slutty pussy as we drive home, and if you dare cum without my permission you can forget about me touching you for a week.”

this was fun 😀😀😀😀 lee chan please rail me — admin lily

[niksfiks]

What’s Opera, Doc?

Originally posted 6/27/18

Inspired by a Facebook post that migrated to a conversation that perked someone up from a bout of mourning a certain demi-god. All fluff, no regrets. If you haven’t seen the referenced cartoon, shame on you. Go here.

The smell of bacon frying drags me from sleep. I yawn, secretly enjoying the extra space to stretch. I certainly don’t mind sharing a bed with my overgrown ginger from Wimbledon, but damned if he isn’t a walking furnace who’s exceedingly snuggly in his sleep. Somewhere in my haze, I hear the Looney Tunes theme and smile. He’s watching my Bugs Bunny collection again.

I quietly pad out to the kitchen where I find Tom standing in the doorway, his back to me. He’s singing along with Elmer Fudd’s spear and magic helmet, speech impediments included. It’s all I can do to stifle a laugh. He turns back to the kitchen and I duck into the spare bath, not wanting to interrupt his revelry. Especially when the singing resumes.

“Oh Bwunhildwa, you’re so wovewy. Yes, I know it. I can’t hellllllllllllllllllp it. Oh Bwunhildwa, beEEEE my wuuuuuuvvv.”

I’m dying. Both hands cover my mouth to keep from bursting into hysterics while I double over in silent giggles. A small curse followed by renewed sizzling escapes the kitchen. I poke my head out into the hallway and wait for any follow up noises. Bobby spots me and comes bounding over.

“Shh,” I whisper, offering scritches for silence, “silly pupper. You’ll give me away.”

“Weeeeturrrrrn, my wwuuuuuv. A wonging burns deeep insssiiiiiide meeeeee.” Long fingers slide down my cheek.

Busted.

Tom pulls me into his arms, dancing us back into the living room. “Wuv wike ours must beeeeeee….”

“Made for you and for meeeeeeee…” Oh gods, now I’m singing too.

“Weeeeetttuuuurrrnnn. Won’t you weeeturn my wuv? For my wuuuuuuvvvvvv is yoooouuurrrsssss!”

Our duet is ended with that ear-to-ear grin that makes women around the internet melt. I’m giggling uncontrollably.

“Must you waff at such a sincere prwofession of wuv?”

My master of impressions is trying so hard to contain his joy, but that was the final straw. Laughter erupts from both of us as he wraps those unrealistically long arms around me and we stand there until the giggles die down. I lean up to give the silly boy a kiss.

“Does that mean I don’t get to play with your spear and magic helmet later?”

Insta-Hiddlesblush for the win.

“The spear, maybe. You remember what happened the last time the magic helmet came out?”

“What, you mean the weird bruises I had for a week?” More laughter and kisses. As hot as a fully armored Loki was, lovemaking minus the horns was decidedly safer. Apparently Tom was enjoying the memory as much as I was, judging by the depth of our kiss and his body grinding against mine.

“Babe?” I gasped, his mouth working its way down my neck. “Hmm?”

“What’s burning?”

“My wuv for you,” he growled, nipping at my skin.

“You dork, I’m serious.” His head snapped up, eyes dark with offended passion. “Weren’t you cooking…”

“The bacon!” He dashed into the kitchen. “Shit. So much for the full English. And this skillet.”

“Eh, we can probably salvage the skillet. That, on the other hand,” he shot me a wounded look, turning on the tap and quenching the smoke, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.” Tom sighed. We both stood over the sink, mourning the sad remains of the breakfast starter.

“So,” I snake my arms around his waist, “why don’t we grab a shower and go get lunch?”

“Lunch?” He turns around, quirking an eyebrow. “How long is this shower going to take?”

“Depends on how long it takes to polish your spear.”

“You’re obsessed with my spear.” he purrs, sliding past me into the hall.

“Would you rather I refer to it as the wascially wabbit?”

“Huh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh.”

I step out of the kitchen just in time to see his gym shorts fall to the floor, a wink and a grin tossed over his shoulder.

[illusionsofdreaming]

With the new Valentine banner coming out in FEH, I thought I’d share this funny (which was really sad before) experience I had on FEH. For those who aren’t interested in Illu’s FEH adventures, have a Dancer Inigo which I drew all the way back in October for Inktober 2017! 

I swear I’m still writing! Hopefully you’ll see some posts coming out soon! Uni’s been eating my muse for breakfast, lunch and dinner lately. Sorry!

So it’s not big secret but I do play FEH. I've been playing pretty much since the day the game’s been released. Now FEH’s reached it’s 1st birthday and here everyone’ll be expecting me to have collected a bunch load of heroes. And if anyone remembers this very old post, I should, theoretically speaking should be able to compile a strong team that I can be proud of as a F2P player. 

HAHAHA. Strap on your seatbelts kiddies, Illu’s going to tell you a story now.

Everyone here (at least everyone who plays FEH) should know about Nintendo Accounts right? The option to link your FEH progress to a Nintendo Account keeps your data safe and saves your progress online so that should you need to switch platforms/phones you still have your old team, stats, orbs, etc.

Now, when I was still new to the game I didn’t really give it much thought as I was still trying the game out. Give it a few more days, still playing FEH, but meh, didn’t get any good heroes yet, still pretty weak so I didn’t bother. Fast forward to randomly pulling a Hector and Klein and boy, NOW, I’m getting somewhere in FEH, finally. By now, I know I won’t be deleting this game soon so I really should consider signing up to a Nintendo Account but then I hear this voice ‘Meh, it’s just a F2P game, if I lost all my progress I’ll just start over - seems easy enough to get back to where I should be’ (keep in mind, back then FEH had less heroes so pulling good heroes was easier). FAST FORWARD SEVERAL MONTHS LATER. Here I am, shredding through the levels and arena with my 5* ATK+ Hector, 5*Klein, 5*+2 Nowi, 5*Adult Tiki, armed with a bunch load of other 5* heroes plus special event heroes. I’m pretty proud and satisfied with how far I’ve come as a F2P player and PSSSH NINTENDO ACCOUNT? Who even uses that? I have a new phone, it’s not going to break any time soon. Whatever. 

I’m pretty sure if you’ve read this far you should be able to pretty much predict what happened right? If you guessed my laziness came back and bit my ass and left a scar, you’re right. 

It was around the time Fjorm and Book 2 was about to be released, think the dancer, singer banner had just ended when it happened. My phone wouldn’t load FEH and all I got was a black screen. Restarted the app, restarted the phone, nothing worked. Now I was panicking a bit here because oh my god what’s happening? Sweating a bit too because oh no, what if- i lose all my progress. Yep. Without knowing, I spent almost a year on FEH and all the progress made in that time period I finally recognize, cannot be regained if I started over all again and neither do I want to start over especially after how far I’ve come. Long story short, I deleted the app, reinstalled in and it still didnt work. It wasn’t until the next day when I went to get my phone checked did I realise it was my phone’s new update problem and not the app. But by then it was far too late. 

NEWS FLASH FOR EVERYONE WHO DIDN’T KNOW. Deleting FEH app, deletes all your FEH data from your phone, even if you’re using the same phone, deleting the app means scrapping the FEH progress you made and starting anew. 

I. Lost. Everything.

DANCER INIGO WHICH I JUST PULLED -CRAIS- (IRONICALLY the art above was drawn in celebration that he came home), HECTOR, KLEIN, EASTER HEROES, ALL THE EVENT HEROES, ALL THE ORBS, FEATHERS, TOKENS- all the effort I put into training and inheriting skills. Back when SP grinding took forever (still takes forever).

I was emotionally scarred. Never thought I’d be so attached to a few animated chibis of FE characters BUT I DID AND NOW THEY’RE ALL GONE AND SOME OF THESE EVENT CHARACTERS, I MIGHT NEVER GET BACK. Starting over had never been so painful. In fact, I couldn’t touch FEH for several days. I still shudder thinking about it. 

Eventually I did start again because what the hell. I’LL MAKE IT WORK A SECOND TIME. Good news was when I did start FEH round 2, Fjorm’s special heroes banner was running and I managed to get Brave Lyn, Ike and Fjorm with those early game orbs so my replay didn’t start off too badly. BAD NEWS was that they all had BAD IVS.

I still think of my lost Hector every time I open the app AND DANCER INIGO. GIVE HIM BACK TO MEEEEEEEE, LET ME DRAW HIM AGAIN PLEASE, I ONLY HAD HIM FOR TWO WEEKS? EVEN LESS? DANCER SINGER BANNER RERUNS PLEASE. HE WAS JUST REALISING HIS POTENTIAL IN MY TEAM. 

IMPORTANT LESSON OF THE DAY: SAVE YOUR GODDAMN PROGRESS. DON’T BE LAZY.

Despite all the Hector focus banners I still haven’t drawn him again. I CRAI. 

CROSSING MY FINGERS I’LL FINALLY DRAG HECTOR BACK HOME DURING VALENTINES BANNER AND CYL. SOB.

If y’all got something that can top this tragedy, feel free to share. We’ll sob together.

[tellywoodtrash]

ishqbaaz ep 400 - 404 lb

now, let’s see what fresh hell my idiot children have raised in the one week i left them unsupervised! 

ep 400 (30.10.17)

ok you know what, i reallllllly do not care about this lameass shivika plot. i didn’t care one week ago when i was watching in real time, and now one week later, i literally couldn’t give less of a fuck. ugh. already disgruntled at having to sit through this garbage. 

YOU FUCKERS SHOULD BE CONCENTRATING ON RIKARA, PAR NAHI, IDHAR BHI APNE AINVAYIII KE ISSUES. HONESTLY. THINK ABOUT SOMEONE OTHER THAN YOURSELVES FOR 4 MINUTES. AND IF YOU HAVE TO THINK ABOUT YOURSELVES, THINK PROPERLY LIKE NORMAL MARRIED COUPLES, AND GO BANG. GODDDDDDDDDDDDDD. 

ugh ok i really don’t care about anika’s nonsense mental issues when there’s literally so many other problems. fwding this bs. 

yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas, rikara!!!!!!!! 

i am honestly so emosh rn. 😭😭😭

yaaaaaaas baby girl! call him out on his bs! 

ok can’t help but feel a little bad for kunal’s kamar in this scene. is it just me or is he ladkhadaayiing a bit? 

UGH GTFO SHIVIKA I DON’T CARE ABOUT YOU TWO RN UNLESS YOU’RE FUCKING. 

anika has legittttttttttttt lost her goddamned mind. honestly, what the fuck have they done to my girl???? 

IS THIS HONESTLY AN ISSUE???? LIKE???? I CAN’T EVEN WITH THESE TWO ASSHOLES RIGHT NOW. JUST GTFO MY SCREEN BEFORE I RAGE QUIT WATCHING THIS EP. 

lmao ok kunal ki saaas phul rahi hai, someone give the poor boy a sec to catch his breath. 

YAS GAURI ASKKKKKKKKKKKK HIMMMMMMMM 

pffffffft, don’t even talk about shivika’s ishqbaazi rn gauri, coz... i just can’t. 

“WOH DONO EK DUSRE KO NEECHA NAHI DIKHAATE KABHI.”

ok someone needs to sit gauri down and tell her all of bade bhaiyya ke puraane paap. 

and rudra’s just going snip-happy on ajay’s car like a toddler in crafts class. best. 

ok ruvya nonsense is what i care about least in this show so fwd fwd fwd. 

this trope of shit getting stuck in each other’s jewelry and what not is literally the worst. 

OK RUDRA NEEDS TO BE GIVEN ONE TIGHT SLAP. WHY THE FUCK IS BHAVYA EVEN PUTTING UP WITH THIS BS? SHE JUST NEEDS TO TELL SHIVAAY WHAT’S UP AND GTFO THE STUPID “BOND” CLAUSE. 

god i’m just so mad at heterosexuality rn. all these ppl just need to leave each other alone already, coz together, they just make each other and everyone else miserable as fuck. 

YAS GAURI. TEAR THAT DUPATTA. FREE YOURSELF FROM THE SHACKLES OF THE HEGEMONIC INSTITUTION THAT IS MATRIMONY IN THE DESI SOCIETYYYYYYYYYYYY

why am i being forced to watch this utter TRASH that is this shivika plot? it’s literally worse than the ruvya plot. #bloodyUNSAHIKKABLE (something for my southie peeps there.) 

never thought i’d relate SO MUCH with shivaay during an argument, but hey, here we are. matlab facepalm kar kar ke mera toh mooh hi laal ho gaya hai. 

ok what even is this editing? ffs, kuch toh transition effect daalo scenes ke beech mein. 

oh gauriiiiiiii, my baby girl, don’t cryyyyyyyyy. mera dillll jaltaaa haiiiiii. i can’t bear to see you like this. 😥😥😥😢😢😢

ok i can’t bear his crying either, but he deserves to cry a little, so dil pe patthar rakh ke seh loongi main. 

GOD SRSLY ANIKA YOU NEED TO GROW UP. 

great. usko bhi pakad ke taana and issue. shivaay just leave her be. let her go eat something and she’ll calm the fuck down in time and come find you. 🙄🙄🙄

i’m just fwding this garbage, because after EVERYTHING they went though, if she still doesn’t trust him, phir mujhe kuch nahi kehna. honestly, so done with this. 

ok just in case i didn’t hate men enough in this episode, ajay’s here to MAKE SURE ki koi kasar reh toh nahi gayi. 😒😒😒

okay fuckkkkk offf shitty ajayyyyyyy, with your crappy unibrow. 

OMFG HAATH LAGAAYA, SAALE KAMEENE HIMMAT KAISE HUIIIIII KAAAT KE GANDE NAALI MEIN NA PHENK DOON MAIN

ok this grownass man has been TOLD the issue to his face and he’s still like “idk why she’s mad at me?????” why are men like thisssss????? 

god why won’t this shitty ass episode enddddddddddddddd??? 400th episode my ass. 

waah, bhavya’s gonna solve the mysteries of the feminine mind for bhaiyya. 

lol this little golu molu baby sardar. what a cutie. 

this show really nails their casting of kids. highly surprising how all of them are non annoying. 

YOU KNOW HOW YOU CAN BRING BACK HER KHOYA HUA CONFIDENCE? BY SEXING HER. SO PLEASE. GET TO IT. MATLAB, TUM AADMI HO YA PAJAMA?!!?!

GOD FINALLLLLLLLLLY THIS DAMN EPISODE IS FUCKING OVER. HALLELUJAH. 

ep 401 (31.10.17)

aaaaaaaand golu molu is back. 

shivaay, don’t you have enough issues in your life???? ek aur issue ke beech mein taang adaa rahe ho???? go talk to your stupid wife.  

... is there a reason he got outta costume for this???? 

and god the ugly blue filter. hate. HAAAAAAAAATE. WHY DO THEY USE IT EVERY TIME THESE TWO HAVE A SCENE IN THIS LOCATION????? IT’S SO FUCKING UGLY. 

man do i haaaave to watch this???? he’s just gonna be all i promise ill love you when you’re old and blah blah blah physical looks don’t matter dil matters and blah blah. 

“i’m not trying, i AM cute.” 

pffffffffft. ek toh overconfidence ki hadh. you’re not even that cute. doosra, bebe!Anika is this close to taking off her chandni and beating all the cute outta you. 

my god i cannot be gladder than i am to be utterly single rn, coz jesus above, being in a relationship looks fucking exhausting. yahaan mujhse apne emotions aur issues jhele nahi jaate, and you have to be deal with someone elses’ neuroses too???? no thanks. 

i am baby!sardar and he is me. utterly sick of these ppl and screaming “meri jaan baksh do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” 

called shivaay’s nonsense speech almost down to the word. not feeling particularly proud about it tho, coz that just means the writing of this show is just thaaaaat thakela. 

OMG ANIKA WHICH OTHER WOMAN WOULD EVEN WANT THIS STUPID GODFORSAKEN DEMON OF A MAN?????????? HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT OF THAT????????? THAT LITERALLY NO OTHER WOMAN IN ON GOD’S GREEN EARTH CAN TOLERATE HIM????? 

ok i swear to god rudra needs to get hit by a bus or something. #freeBhavya

WHY WON’T THIS STUPID SCENE END OMG

fwding. don’t care. gimme gauri. NOW. NOWWWWWWWWWWWWW. 

OOOOH. WHY’S BULBUL COMING TO OMKI????? is she realising that she’d rather be married to repentant hottie shaayar rather than ugly unibrow handsy fucker???

ok. clue has been given that richa is the reason. use your goddamn brain now, omki. 

god his sexyyyyy agony whisper voice. it’s doing things to meeeeeeee. 😍😍😍

haaaaaye his face. be still my beating heart. 

of course. ajay is daksh 2.0, but not even half as entertaining. 

i miss daksh, man. after svetlana, he’s the most lolz delivering waala villain this show has ever had. 

OK WHAT EVEN IS THIS OUTFIT GAURI IS WEARING LORD ABOVE NA SAR HAI NA PAIR, JAANE KAISE TEEN CHAAR CHICHDE JOD DIYE HAI AUR USKO “OUTFIT” BULA RAHE HO

angsty sexyyyyyyyyyyyyy eyes are being maaaaaade. 😭😭😭

and ugly ajay is noticinggg and grinding his teeth all shivaay-style. 

ughhhhh ajay you’re the fucking worst. i really fucking hope the oberois go to town on you and repeatedly kick you in the nuts. 

ok shivaay’s outfit has actually made me go blind and i’m now watching this episode with my mann ki aankhein. 😣😣😣

shivaay still can’t understand the concept of consent and free will. honestly, i think this idiot needs to have the point beaten into him. 

aisi time par bhi isko shayari sooj rahi hai. emo!maxxxxx only my son is. 

“mujhse vaada karo hum aur kuch nahi karenge.”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA BOY DO YOU NOT KNOW YOUR OBEROI KIN AT ALL??????? SHAADI KHUD KI HO YA KISI AUR KI, TAMASHA TOH KARNA HI HAI! 

omfgggggggg anika, COZ PYAAAR (woh bhi aisa ek number ka ghatiyaaaa “pyaar”) ISN’T EVERYTHING IN LIFE OK????  

ok anika just don’t give a fuck anymoreeee. 

aaaaaaaaaaaaand the wig is offfff.

why’s gauri shocked? she fully knew anika was here? they slept in the same bed??? 

ajay is the shivaay of bareilly. all authoritative and shouty and shiz. pity that the real shivaay is here, and about to teach him how it’s really done. 

LMAO MAAAAAAAAAA IS LIKE “I DIDN’T KNOW NOTHING! MAIN TOH ALLAH MIYAAN KI GAAAIII HOON!!” 😂😂😂😂

shivaay’s having a haaaaaard time controlling himself. teeth grinding and eye rolling to the max. 

lololololololol looks like ajay’s maa itself shall be cockblocking him. 

“THA NAHI. HOON.” 

daaaaaaaaaayum son! 

LMAO SHIVAAY’S FACE LIKE “I TRIED, MAN. I TRIED.” 

styyyyyylish and tadi-filled removal of pagdis and wigs. 

god kunal, tumhe koi haq nahi banta ki tum itne khoobsurat lago. NOT FAIR! 😫😫😫😫

lol nakuul’s champu hair, compared to the other two’s faaaaaahbulous, totally-unaffected-by-pagdi hair. 

obligatory ‘haaye my beautiful boys!’ waala shot. 😍😍😍

gauri be like WHY ARE MY SASURAAL WAALE SUCH FREAKSSSSSSSSSSSSSS OMG

EP 402 (01.11.17)

LMAO like whaaaaaaaat trip is ajay even on? she’s HIS wife, not yours. what “cheeeen lega” and all??? kuch bhi. chal hatt, chutiya kahinka. 

can’t wait for obros to hand ajay’s ass to him. coz he’s quite honestly asking for it. 

hee hee hee, i shall always get a kick outta shivaay jumping men who have like at least half a foot on him and trying to fight them. my smol fighty baby. 

OMFG OMKARA KO CHAANTA. AB TOH NAHI BACHEGA TU BETA. AB TOH TICKET KATAA HI LE WAAPSI KI. 

WHY’S RUDRA STOPPING SHIVAAY???? BRO, YOU’RE SUPP TO JUMP AJAY TOO???? MY GOD, NIKKAMMA KA NIKAMMA ONLY THIS IDIOT BOY IS. WHEN YOU GONNA START PULLING YOUR DAMN WEIGHT AROUND HERE, ASSHOLE???????????????

awwww man shivaay’s face is making me cryyyyyyyyyyyyyy. 😭😭😭😭

OMG OMG OMGGGGGGGG BULBUL CALLING OUT TO BADE BHAIYYE #MYBROTPLIVES #shivriHameshaAmarRahe

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAS BITCCCCCCH!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

ab baby bulbul ne aadesh diya hai tohhh... 

lol bulbul’s bloodlust will not be satisfied with just the one obro. she wants them ALL to go to town on these bareilly bastards. and that’s allllllllll the encouragement hubs needs. 

how awesome is this shot of bulbul and her three protectors tho! 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

gimme some shots of anika and bhavya kicking ass too plz??? 

ugh no, they’re relegated to cheerleaders. how lame. 

LMAO GAURI’S HAPPINESS AT THE CHAOS, FADING AWAY AT RICHA/MUKESH’S WTF FACES HAHAHAHA

shivaay’s like bro i’ve had enough of this small town bs. can we gtfo here pls? 

god i realllllly hate gauri’s outfit. it’s drowninggggg her tiny frame. 

“hum waapas nahi jaa sakte.” 

lmao everyone’s faces like “behen itna maar dhaar karne se pehle nahi bol sakti thi???? phukat mein energy waste.”  

i really love how shivaay is having waaaaaaay more of a devastated reaction than om at gauri not coming back. 

protip to shivaay: just legally adopt gauri (like you did sahil), so she’ll be your sister no matter what the fuck goes on in the rikara marriage. 

... we’re back in OM? 

oh yes we are. unless shivaay authoritatively makes hot chocolate for ppl in others’ kitchens as well. 

ok that sleeved vest looks really bad under THAT kurta, shivaay. 

shivaay, ever heard of giving someone (anyone!) personal space? no? ok cool. 

CAN A MAN ANGSTILY MOPE IN THE DARK ABOUT HIS WIFE MARRYING SOMEONE ELSE IN PEACE? PLEASE???!?!?!!!!!!

heavy vibes of post-ishaana kadhi-chawal scene no? 

still one of my eternal fave obro scenes. (“main iss baare mein baat nahi karna chahta!” *talks about it for 2 hours*)

“hota hai.”

haan is ghar mein toh aksar hota hai, ki biwi kisi aur se shaadi karne chali jaati hai, lekin NORMAL LOGON KE SAATH aisa nahi hota. 

oh boyyyyyy, shivaay ke khurafaati dimaag mein idea. 

meanwhile gauri is doing full intezaam of bhaagna from there. 

gosh gauri, since when are you such a terrible liar???

maa is doing everything she can to cover bitiyaa’s ass. love it. 

ajayyyyy doesn’t even wanna marry her???? then why’s he so insistenttttt????? 

STOP LYING TO HER SHIVAAY. FOR FUCKS SAKE HAVE YOU LEARNTTTTTTTTT NOTHINGGGGGG. GOD. 

“shankar ji apni chiraiyya ka dhyaan rakhlenge.”

YUP. IN THE FORM OF BADE BHAIYAAAAAA. WHO’S FLYING OVER AS WE SPEAK TO SAVE HIS BABY BIRD. 

omg how daaaaaaare he LIE TO HER FACE LIKE THIS. BITCH, ONE. YOU A HELLA SUCKY LIAR. AND TWO. SHE KNOWS YOUR DUMB ASS BETTER THAN YOU KNOW YOURSELF. 

“WE GOT OURSELVES A BULBUL TO KIDNAP.”

god this asshole really going to fucking kidnap gauri. srsly, it’s like he learned nothing from his first wedding. 

“yaar hum raat ko ghee lene jaa rahe hai????” 

LOLOLOL

fuck, my hearttttttttttt. god i love these stupidass boys so much. 

ooooooooooh gauri is overhearinggggg. 

YAAAAAAAAAS BULBUL YOU BEAT THE F OUTTA THIS ASSHOLE. 

pffffffffft, oh nowwwww she wants to call omkiiiiiii. 

of course he won’t pick up. girl, this is why you should depend on no man. 

ugh the cgi for the helicopter is so terrible. 

lol gauri has emptied her whole wardrobe into making escape waali rassi. she’s seen golmaal (puraana waala, not the chutiya new ones) one too many times i think. 

pffffffffffft waise toh bada kidnapping ka plan bana raha tha??? karne ka time aaya toh shivaay is just standing there frozen and other two just pushed him to side and moved on. 

LMAO HER INNER MONOLOGUE I LOVE GAURIIIIIIIIIII SO MUCH 

LOLOLOLOL HE WAS GONNA BUST INTO A SHER AND RUDRA’S FRUSTRATION

“YEH KAISA AADMI HAI???? BHAABI MUBARAK HO, HUM AAPKO KIDNAP KARNE AAYE HAI.” LMAOOOOOOOOOO

be still my beating heart! 😍😍😍😍

omfg ommmmmmmmmm you idiot her headdddddddddd!

aaaaaaaaaaaaaand great. ajay and minions are here. ugh. 

obros exchanging “it’s go time!!!!!!” faces. 

wow. that was hella easy. 

ep 403 (02.11.17)

wow, gauri still hasn’t regained consciousness? maybe you shoulda taken her to a doctor for a ct scan or something first.

“bhaiyya, aur koi illegal kaam karna hai ya main sone jaaon?” LMAO 

anika’s detective dimaag is on during half-sleep also. AMAZING. 

but never fearrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! billu’s here to romance it outta her. haaaaaaye.

ugh. fuck these two ridiculously attractive assholes who won’t bang and insist on killing me with sexual tension. 

uh ohhhhhhhh, billu made a boo boo! wife is on to him!

omg look how tiny shrenu’s feeeeet are! 

ugh my heart. can these two just be happy now... pleaseeeee. they’re the life raft i have to tie myself to now that shivika are... just... idk what. 

snort. fucking idiot. 

“japan mere zehen main hai kyunki it’s my favt. country. wahan ki jo mount fuji hai na, it’s a really good mountain! mujhe wahan ka khaana bhi bohut pasand hai!”

LMAO WHAT IS THIS A NIBANDH HE WROTE FOR INTERNATIONAL DAY AT SCHOOL????? 

omfggggg “sabudaana vada khaaya hai tumne japan ka???” hahahahahahaha

I NEED SPACE?????? BITCH GO MAKE AN OBEROI COLONY ON MARS THEN. BADA AAYA SPACE MAANGNE WAALA. 

IDGI???? WHY CAN’T YOU JUST TELL HER GAURI’S IN THE HOUSE???? WHAT DOES IT EVEN MATTER????? 

goddddd anika, why must you discuss all your marriage matters with some other person???? 

lol anika calling bhavya out on knowing rudra wasn’t home last night haha

ouffffff anika, you really need to get a hobby. like, take up watercolours. or knitting. maybe get a pet. horseriding?you need SOMETHING to distract you from the fuckery that is this house and your weirdass marriage. 

LMAO RUDRA “usually kidnapping ke baad phiroti ke liye call karte hai. main karoon kya???” 

“BIWI HAI MERI, GHADDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” 😂😂😂😂

“we have to keep it under wraps”... MAYBE START BY CLOSING YOUR DAMN DOOR?!?!!?!? 

lolololol man i’m loving the return of omRu scenes. i reallyyyyy missed these two together. 

OMFG OM EK TOH SHE’S UNCONSCIOUS UPAR SE YOU’RE WRAPPING HER AND STASHING HER IN A CUPBOARD????

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand the sisters are here. with their shak waali nazrein. 

the face on an honest man who isn’t lying his pants off. amazing. 

oh hooooooo anikaaaa, you’re so annoyinggggg when you get like this. 

pfffffffft. brothers are here. ab hoga tamasha. 

LMAO AND TAMASHAAA IT IS. THE WAY HE FAINTED ONTO THE BED HAHAHAHAH 

ouff the amount of nautanki. 

LMAO THE WAY HE GOT UP ALL FINE AND THEN REMEMBERED HE WASN’T SUPPOSED TO BE AND FELL AGAIN LOLOLOLOL

lol for first time rudra is doing bagaavat against his eternal master bhaabi

OMFG THE WAY RUDRA JUST PICKED HIM UP AND TOOK HIM I AM DYING HAHAHAHAHA

ohhhhh boy she’s going back into om’s room. 

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand caught! 

OMFG HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA “DEKHO KAUN AAYA HAI!!!! GAURI! AA GAYI!” HAHAHAHAHHAHHA I AM FUCKING DYING OMG HAHAHAHAHA

ok, what exactly is anika’s problem here? she also wanted gauri to come back? matlab... i really don’t get her newfangled issues these days. 

kabhi nahi socha tha ki yeh din bhi dekhne padenge where i’d be on shivaay’s side during arguments. waah re prabhu, teri leela. 

gauri’s having a legit “main kahaaan hoon?” moment. 

great anika has taken her lecturebaaazi outside to the devars. she’s really getting on my last nerve these days. 

like i get her point and all, but behen, tum apne buddhi waale dhong se kaunsa usko izzat-o-aabroo se lene gayi thi???? matlab kuchhhhh bhi.

lmao anika ki toh tain tain phisssssssssssss ho gayiiii. 

and lolololol look at this idiot boy who’s not even hugging her back, he’s just like OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG WHAT DO I DO WHAT DO I DO SOMEONE TELL ME?!?!!?!?! 

lmao shivaay’s look of triumph. he’s literally likeeeee 

ouff ok gauri, heavy on the mythological references this early in the morning. 

lmaoooo shivaay knocking om on the back for the patti thing. matlab, when sso thinks you’re being a little extra, know you’ve gone truly overboard. 

ugh ok she forgave him already??? itnaaa bhi lightly nahi jhaadna tha matter ko. 

anika be like behen, y u no tell plan? ainvayiiii mein moral science lecture diye phir rahi thi.

ok i really thought the anika learns about gauri title was about the chutki secret, but siiiiiiiiigh. 

aaaaaand these two are fighting. 

“aise hi rehna hai???? sudharna nahi hai???” 

lol 1 crore ka sawaal pooch diya tumne anikaaaa

god you two, this relationship is fucking exhausting and i’m just a passive witness to it. I CAN’T EVEN IMAGINE BEING IN IT.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND THERE GO THE PHONES. 

ep 404 (03.11.17)

servants of the house be thinking ‘itne din se kitchen achcha khaasa saaf-sutra tha. lo aa gaye phir gandh machaane.’

godddddddddddddd rudra’s besura singing.

shivaay’s being hella relatable these days.

ok i really don’t like this shakki biwi nonsense of anika’s. like, stop ruining my girl pls. 

awwww my chiraiyya and her bhaujai. 

um, why is this person dressed literally in pinky’s clothes??? 

ok i don’t caaaaaaaaare about this nonsenseeeeee. fwding. 

what even is happening?? you two have been married for like 3 hours and are still fucking up on a minute by minute basis. bade aaye rudra ko marriage advice dene waale. 

I HATE THIS GARBAGE TROPE OF MEN IN DRAG ON INDIAN TV. DAMN YOU KAPIL SHARMA FOR STARTING THIS NONSENSE. A PLAGUE UPON YOUR (ILLEGALLY CONSTRUCTED) HOUSE!

lol shivaay and om inspecting the custard in the bg as if it’s some huuuuge lab experiment or something. 

..... god anikaaaa, you’re a fucking idiot. 

lmao bhavya’s such an enabler. 

ouffff gauri, not you toooooooooooo. 

anika idiot, custard toh lekar bhaagti. 

he’s not gonna catch her. and this is gonna create a huge big raita. *siiiiiiiiiigh*

calllled it. 

bhavya, my sweet, please find yourself a better man. you deserve sooooooooooo much better. 

OMFG SHIVAAY PUT THE FUCKING PLATE DOWN. FUCKING IDIOT. 

GOD THIS IS THE STUPIDEST PLOT EVER ITS FUCKING 4 AM WHY AM I WATCHING THIS GARBAGE 

NOWWWWWWWWW WE TALKINGGGGGG 😏😏😏😏

oooooooooooooooh the chutkiiiiiiii photooooooooooooooo. 

SHE’S IN THE SAME HOUSE WITH YOU. SHE’S MISSED YOU TOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY BABIESSSSSSS!!!! MY TWO GIRLSSSSSSS!!!!!!!

EVERY TIME I THINK OF THEM BEING SISTERS FOR REAL, MY HEART OVERFLOWS WITH FEELS

abbe, seedha seedha custard deke jaa na; yeh senti waala lecture kisko sunna hai.

that custard is fucking LIQUID. matlab, set hone tak toh sabrrr karta bro???? 

GOD I HATE THIS NONSENSE OF THE GIRL SAYING SOMETHING WHEN SHE MEANS SOMETHING ELSE. I KNOW WE DO THIS SHIT A LOT BUT WE REALLY GOTTA STOP. MEN DON’T UNDERSTAND IT THE WAY OTHER GIRLS DO. THEY JUST DON’T. SO STOP IT. 

“400 episode ho gaye lekin anika abhi bhi yehi keh rahi hai ki SHIVAAAAY AAAP KYAAAA KAR RAHE HAI???”

i would laugh at the meta but i am too angry that you haven’t as much as made outttttttt yet. what the everlovingggg fuckkkkkkk. you ppl better bang before ep 500 so help me god. SO HELP ME GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ouffffff rudra, ever heard of personal space? you’re the worst. dafaaaa ho!

oh haaaaaaaaaai abhayyyyyy, you hotass demonchild. how you been???? actually, fuck you, where’s my girl tanya and how’s she been???? 

THIS IS LITERALLY DOODH AND JAM THAT HE’S FEEDING HER. LIKE.... IT’S ANNOYINGGGGG ME YOUGAIZ. IT’S ANNOYING ME SO MUCH. 

dayummmm, omki making sex eyes at wife. will i get my tharak fulfilled here first????? will omki shomki and chutki maarofy baazi first?!?!?! 

OH SHIT!!!!!!!!!! I JUST MIGHTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!! 😯😯😯

OMG FUCK YOU RUDRA MAY YOU NEVER HAVE ANOTHER ORGASM IN YOUR LIFE EVER AGAIN YOU STUPID COCKBLOCKER 😡😡😡😡

lmaooooo om’s glee when rudra finally left. i love this idiot child so much. 

UGH BAATEIN?!?!?!!? WHO THE FUCK CARES ABOUT BAATEIN?????GET BACK TO THE MAKING OUTTTTTTTTTTTT YOU STUPID NERDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

[celtic-romulan]

Yeesh, the one thing I hate about coming back to STO after a long absence is that they've overhauled everything. They've added new missions in the earlier parts of the game (thank goodness for the Replay feature), so it looks like I'll be digging around those once I clear my current lineup. Hey, at least it's fresh new material...I was getting really tired of all the endgame grinding, and I kind of need a break from the Delta Quadrant patrol missions (kill meeeeeeee!! I don't have the spare time I used to! It's just more grinding I don't need).

[rachelfox]

How To Have Nightmares

Today was hard. Your boss snapped at you for a mistake that was barely your fault. You cried in the bathroom and texted your boyfriend, but he didn’t respond until later, when it didn’t really matter anymore. On the walk to your car, a cockroach crawled across your path and you gasped, dropping your phone, a sudden snowflake of spiderweb newly strewn across your screen. Driving home, you glanced sidelong at the buildup of coffee-stained travel mugs and crumbled receipts scattered around your car. You sighed and turned up the radio. Upon arriving home, you dropped your backpack immediately inside the front door, striding swiftly to the bedroom where you planned to spend the rest of your night asleep.

Falling into your soft tangle of blankets, you finally relax into the creases of your favorite pillow. Your eyes slide closed and you wait for sleep to take you into her warm, gentle arms, to dance with you into the sunrise. Pictures flutter across your eyelids, and you remember that horrible, stinging moment earlier today, when your boss’s wiry frame cowered above you, correcting your work, his watery eyes flashing back and forth between your face and the computer screen. A tuft of hair falls across the keyboard and you squint, but the edges of your vision have blurred. You run your hands across your face and through your hair, and tumbles of hair pull away, falling, falling all around you. Your boss strides around the desk to face you, his tiny, expressionless eyes boring into you as you push yourself up and stumble away. Trying to run, your legs seize up and you thrust  against the jelly-like wall of air in front of you. Terror fills your body as you feel your boss advancing towards you and you cower, your vision fuzzy and dark.

You realize where you are. Sleep’s clutches have dragged you into that deep, dark place you fear. You squeeze your eyes shut and think, “wake up, wake up!”

You wake in your dark bedroom and gasp in the fresh, full air. Reaching for your bedside lamp, your hand grasps at the cord and you pull. Nothing. You pull again and the light flickers on and off. That’s weird, you think. Third time - a sudden flicker and all the lights in the house turn on for one long second. You choke and cough. In the flash you saw the looming shadow of a man in your doorway. You reach for your phone and dial your boyfriend’s number. It rings and he picks up! “Help me!” You say, “Help me!” No response until slowly a low, gutteral groan emerges from the microphone. “Heeeeeeeeeelllllp meeeeeeee,” he says, “heeeeeeeeelp me.” You drop the phone and scream, the shadow at the foot of your bed presses down on you and feel a sudden warmth over your chest. You close your eyes in fear and squeeze them once again.

Silence. The pressure releases. The slow, hum of your window unit pushes cold air across your sweating face. Keeping the rest of your body firmly safe under the comforter, you reach, once again, for your lamp. This time, it turns on, a steady glow suddenly filling the room with light. You can breath again. You can move again. You’re awake and you know it’s for real this time, but your heart races. You sit up and force your eyes wide open, grinding your teeth to pull your body out of sleep. You sit and wonder what to do with the rest of your night because you know, there’s no way you’re dancing with sleep again tonight.