#Batfam

[cain-doodles]

The Clock Tower

[ciricearts]

outlaw jason hehe

[evilgoosegoose]

The Phantom Triplets open a cafe in Gotham

they all take turns as cashier so they can mess with Karens

Danny works as cook, Danny fills the food he makes with passion to give people warm feelings of home and love, while also providing motivation and confidence to do the thing

Dani is in charge of the coffee, filling it with energy and excitement rather than caffeine, effectively creating a healthy coffee, with all the good flavor, and wakefulness you want, and none of the bad effects as the energy wears off gradually

Dan is in charge of pastries and bread, he loves absolutely pounding the bread as well as rolling it out, it’s therapeutic, he fills everything he makes with just a little bit of rage so that the flavor can still be exciting every time you eat it

they are all very much gremlins, but also very nice, like a group of crows you befriended, they will absolutely rock the shit of any rouge that tries to attack their cafe or any regulars of theirs

They could also be the batfam’s favorites, or their worst enemies, cause they’re offering cheap, tasty, healthy food, and feeding the poor, but also refusing to elaborate on how

Red Hood loves them though, since they all hate the Joker with a burning passion, are doing this out of the goodness of their hearts, aren’t a front, and love to mess with Batman whenever they get a chance

[amorkuku]

Meanwhile when nobody's looking;;

[corkinavoid]

DPxDC John Constantine's How To: Ghost Kids (pt.2)

[<- part 1]

"Oh, yeah," John jerks his head up like he just remembered the fact people are supposed to have names at all. He gestures to the kids, pointing to each of them as he introduces, "Daniel, Daniel, and Danielle."

This time, all three kids flip him off simultaneously. Bruce clears his throat, trying to figure out if Constantine is messing with him and, if so, in which parts. Since, so far, everything the man has said sounds like a poor attempt at pulling his leg.

"I don't think they like those," he cautiously says, and the kids whip their heads at him, nodding furiously. Bruce can't help but be just a little enamored with the way they behave.

"Of, sod off, at this point I don't care what they like," John straightens up with a dismissive, albeit weak, wave of his hands, and rubs his face, "They are menaces. Sometimes by accident, but mostly on purpose. Their grandfather thought it would be easier to handle them if they were not teenagers, and while I agreed with his reasoning at the time, I-" he glances at the kids, who all have displeased grimaces of various levels on their faces, "I have been made to reconsider. I swear that ancient bitch is laughing his ass off wherever he is now."

The kids suddenly grin. They are not very friendly, nor polite smiles - if anything, they look a bit nightmarish. An old grandfather's clock in his study makes a very loud ticking noise.

"See?" John whips his head to look at said clock, the expression on his face bordering on insane. His eye twitches.

If Bruce doesn't do anything now, he might become one of the very few people who managed to witness John Constantine, the Laughing Magician, have a meltdown. So he sighs and decides to solve the problems one at a time.

Which means that no matter how alarmed or suspicious he is, his first move would not be to interrogate either the man or the kids.

"You can sleep in one of the guest rooms, I trust you can find it on your own," he tells John, almost softly, as he catches the girl from slipping away from his lap, "Is there anything I need to know about children before you fall unconscious?"

John slumps with relief, so obviously that Bruce almost smiles. Hardships of raising - or, watching, for that matter - kids, he understands.

"Yes," he breathes out with an air of exhilaration and turns to the kids again, pointing to the middle child, "Danny is the original. He is from this dimension and timeline, that is. Dan," he turns his finger to the older boy, "is in the wrong timeline, he's Danny's future evil self redeemed into older bratty brother. Dani," he switches to the girl, "is Danny's clone, made by his arch-nemesis of a godfather. If she starts melting at any point, wake me up immediately. If any of them start floating, sprouting tentacles, speaking to walls in static, or glowing, don't."

Bruce looks down to the kids. So, definitely metas, that would explain the government trying to get them... Or, no, it wouldn't because he is fairly certain no government is going to blatantly ignore the Meta Protection Acts.

"Don't let them raise the dead, and if you give them food, make sure it doesn't have a face. If you find more than three of them, it means one of them has duplicated, don't worry, they will absorb it back later. Absolutely don't let them touch any guns," Constantine is backing down to the door as he speaks, his gaze flickering from the kids to Bruce and back every second. Like he is leaving a ticking bomb in Bruce's lap, and not three children. "Danny is, comparatively, the most responsible one, the other two are up for any dubious trouble they can get to at any moment. Oh, and their memories are wonky because of de-aging, they remember some things but not others, so if they say something particularly disturbing, it's most likely some random piece of knowledge they managed to keep."

Bruce raises an eyebrow. He did get the part about the kids being, well, abnormal in the matters of their origins, but the disjointed set of rules and advices doesn't help as much as Constantine probably thinks it does.

"Allergies, preferences, ages they were before?" He tries to get at least some more info down before John disappears through the door. Actually, maybe he should send someone to handcuff the man to the bed lest he disappears completely.

"None, but don't let them eat cutlery. Danny likes space, Dani has a thing for exploring, and Dan likes violence." The older kid stirs in Bruce's lap and says something in the direction of Constantine. No sound comes out, but the man seems to get what he's trying to say anyway, "Okay, yes, that was rude of me, sorry. Dan likes... exercise," he ends up with, and that placate the boy enough to slump down and cross his arms. John sighs, "They were seventeen, fourteen, and twenty respectively. Now," he snaps his fingers, and suddenly Bruce can hear the girl - Dani - humming a tune under her breath. So, he lifted the silence spell, it seems.

"Good fucking luck," John wishes to Bruce, earnestly, and all but vanishes away.

Bruce sighs and looks down to the kids.

"Are you hungry?" He tries, and all eyes are on him at once, attentive and unblinking.

"Fruitloops," Danny says, and while Bruce is positive that's the name for a cereal, he gets a feeling that's not what the kid meant.

[spicy-apple-pie]

For a solid month after Dick was adopted, he had Bruce wrapped around his little finger.

It was like constantly having a babysitter who was just there to make sure you don’t die or starve but not a lot of authority. Your mom lets you have cookies for breakfast? Yeah sure if thats what she let you do.

Dick was pretty sad with Bruce finally realized that he was the one who made the rules and Dick was playing him like a fiddle. He knew it had to come to an end eventually, but he was still a little bummed.

[incorrectbatfam]

[justa-smalltown-gargoyle]

This is not meant to be a dig more just an observation at why opinions differ, but I feel like the people who view Dick as being a fatherly figure to Damian/them having a Parent-Child dynamic vs a Older Sibling-Little Sibling dynamic don’t know what it’s like to have siblings that are waaaaaaaay older than you in a big family! They may take on a more guardian role but it’s still a different dynamic idk

[frappegoddess]

Bruce is sulky the next Justice League meeting because he's injured with a broken arm and leg, but the thing is, the JL members don't know how it happened.

They all make up crazy theories that he got into an insane fight with a war deity from outer space, their proteges claim he fought the women of Themyscira all at once, and Jon goes as far as saying he took Titus away from Damian. (Wild right)

Everybody gave up asking the batkids cuz they've all been sworn to secrecy, but everyone can't help but notice how they crack up when their father figures injury is mentioned.

Turns out, Red Hood replaced Batman's grappling hook with a slinky.

The Batman™ slinked off a building.

[morganbritton132]

Bruce goes to parent/teacher conference day and hears all the things he’s expecting to hear. Damian is interacting more with other students , having less violent outbursts. Duke is a natural leader. Tim doesn’t go here - wait.

“Tim Drake,” Bruce repeats. “Timothy Drake, doesn’t go to this school?”

“I believe he dropped out last year, actually.”

“…Okay,” Bruce says, and then realizes that it looks bad if he didn’t already know that. “Yes, of course. So many kids, I lose track of them.”

Tim gets a text five minutes later telling him when he’s out of ‘class’ to come to the manor immediately. Because he has been tailing a possible new rogue that teaches at the community college, Tim does not see that text for the threat it is and replies, ‘K.’

[arttuff]

next pinup commish!

they haaaate him for being cute. and also the 8 heads or whatever

[ciricearts]

I'm back on tumblr hehehe,, my utrh jason collection :3c

[actualmagus]

Idk if this been posted but HOLY FUCK SKKALALDKHDSODHWOFKDLSYAKRKGDJWKLCJBEPOORJASON

[sreppub]

and so it begins…. welcome to the family, dickie! (sequel to my other drawing where battinson and tim hang out at galas…)

[cosmicpoutine]

racer vigilante tim drake design because the one thing this man is good at is driving, and they should bring the love of his life, redbird, back.

bonus tim without the helmet, but i got frustrated and gave up halfway.

and before some idiot comments why he needs a helmet if he's piloting redbird, he also has a motorcycle if i remember correctly (and the super-cycle)

also, if you bring up red hood's helmet, i will eat your mother with a ceasars salad

[incorrect-batfam-quotes-mostly]

Bruce: Hey boys, what was that bang-

Bruce: …this room used to have four walls.

Jason: I told you he’d notice