#Buncha Dorks

[boymuskhaver]

@seemoreseymoursbay Day Two : Romantic Relationship!!

Gene/Alex/Courtney

My fav poly ship that doesn’t know they’re a poly ship yet because they’re Dumb 11 year olds /affectionate

alt version + close ups below cut

[hit-me-with-your-bat-please]

Chocobros General HCs

Noctis

Doesn’t care if you fall asleep on him, because he’s passed out.

Prince of naps

Gives you the death stare when you volunteer him for early morning training with Gladio

Doesn’t snore

Second heaviest sleeper in the group

Bed head? That’s just how his hair is, it defies the laws of physics

Will teach you to fish if interested, bonus points if you already know what you’re doing

Will absolutely tease the shit out of you if you don’t like touching the bait or the fish

Prompto

He’s just living his best life

Sometimes you’re aware that you’re modeling for his photos, other times you don’t know until he shows you later on

THRASHES IN HIS SLEEP MORE THAN MAXIUM THE HORMONE

Those hands are rated E for everyone

Seriously, enjoy waking up with random bruises or from the people’s elbow to the face

Other than that he is literally a ray of sunshine and you will do anything to protect him

Scares easily, like you could just say hi and he jumps

Sometimes his obsession with chocobos scares you

Gladio

Gruff exterior, teddy bear interior

Just wants to see his loved ones succeed

Unless it’s early morning training, better hide if you dont want to get your ass handed to you by Lieutenant Hardass

Unhealthy obsession with Cup Noodle, which is weird because he’s so into fitness (fitness cup noodle in his mouth) and working out and staying healthy

HUMAN FURNANCE, which is fantastic during cold nights but is what you imagine hellfire feels like when it’s hot. Especially when it’s hot, and you got that morning sweat(death) box tent heat.

Will absolutely recommend you books if you ask, we love an avid reader

Will personalize you training to your needs, you dont even have to ask he just knows what you need

SNORES THE LOUDEST

Ignis

Def the mom of the group, makes sure you eat, drink your fluids, bandage your wounds, mends your clothes, etc

Hands down best food you will ever eat in your life, even just a plain slice of cheese pizza has never tasted so good

Bonus points if you show interest in cooking, he’s definitely the most patient teacher

Perfect tent buddy, doesn’t snore, isn’t a human furnace, in fact he just stays in one position all night

Is absolutely the lightest sleeper. You got up to pee one time and all you heard was “where are you going?” and you turned around to see him sitting upright and wide awake

You know you’ve become closer when he drops his formal way of addressing you, and instead adopts your nickname

DAD PUNS!! COME ON DOWN GET YOUR DAD PUNS FIIIIIIVE DOLLARS!!!!!!!!

At the start of the trip you loved his puns, and now you just groan along with the rest of the boys(you still love hearing them but you’re not about to stroke his ego)

[crystalpallette]

happy valentine's day! here's the suzuran gang here to tell you sometimes you don't need a romantic partner, being with your friends is just fine :)

[darkmagenugget]

how did you get the designs for the alters? Did you just draw them how you felt, is there some way to talk to them, did they make their own designs when they where fronting?

I’m not plural so I dunno how this works sorry 😭

Iris drew herself, based on the design she influenced for herself before I knew she was there. She's the only other artist in here. I drew Mira, Chaos, and Aria's designs.

For Mira's design, she initially didn't want one (and was initially hidden and was just a bunch of reflections of me) until I mentioned it didn't have to be human (since chaos' wasn't). She then listed all the things she wanted, and we settled on an otherworldly crystal fairy design.

Chaos was actually the first to say what she wanted. Gremlin, big hips, long fluffy tail, big ears, boots, and was especially insistent on sharp teeth. Like, she would not stop saying "sharp teeth!" While I was drawing her. She was very excited for that.

Aria doesn't talk as much and when I asked her what she wanted for her design she just replied "buff" so I designed her from scratch around that and she approved.

Most of this communication happened in the headspace. It's kind of natural and just like daydreaming for us.😅

-Ashe

[soundtestmenu]

rewatching adventure time and early marceline is so wonderfully silly and flirty. bisexual champion

[greenflowerceo]

hii im suuper late to my own week ik (i'll post the rest of the days from time to time, college applications were a pain </3 but i've got most of it down

This piece is a redraw of my very first post ! This has been a wip since the start of the year so my art style unsurprisingly changed a bunch as i tweaked the lines and colors. it's not the best but it's looking as good as it can be!

as for the zine, people are free to draw up pieces for the week up until the end of september and we can compile it all together! it's not really the usual zine format but who knows.. we can maybe try to figure out a way to formally start a more structured zine project for these two

Anyway! I've decided to dedicate my greenflower week posts to my headcanons I've made up for them from the past 4 years.. I figured you guys could take a peek into my brain since I haven't really been good at that unless you catch me in a vc :") there's a buncha hcs and old ass art i never posted finally unearthing under the cut if you wanna take a peek

So, first thing: Body headcanons..

i took super long getting what i want with this waay back when I started posting cause I was still figuring out a lot with my art. i couldn't get in good details/features that would properly differentiate them or make them fun to draw. I wasn't striving to be really innovative with the designs or anything, I just wanted them to feel like characters I like looking at and thinking about

finally, i'm somewhat able to settle on these as of right now! It will most likely update as the time passes and my art changes, but this is what I got!

basically the main idea is that i wanted Lloyd to be bulkier but sharper. grew up fast and has all these edges, but then you get to know him and he's just a big ol dork. Mostly wears loose-fitting clothes that hides his figure, but he's quite built underneath

Brad's a lil taller and pretty lanky. my art style may not be able to show that properly but lloyd can snap him in half <3 he also seems hella chill but that's probably cause he got balls of steel after living through a million ninjago invasions

This thing below is an old outfit concept I have for a project that I've been working on. does not reflect my current headcanons with his physical appearance but i do like his clothes

I think he loves his role as the green ninja, saving the world and such. it came with lots of baggage and reflection but i do promise that he enjoys it for the most part. I think him wearing green is kind of like wearing work clothes so he tends to avoid it on days when he's free to keep from being too ready to jump into ninja mode

i do tend to keep him in green though cause the fandom sure does love their color-coded ninja

anyway .. that's about most of what i've got for this that looks good enough to post, so here's a bunch of other doodles/sketches, both old and new ToT

oh and a quick comic too cause why not

one more: bonus greenflower yuri

thanks for coming to read this far :) there'll be more soon

[thecaptainsdeck]

Captain_CumShot

Chapter 2 - Tier III Summary: You treated yourself to a tier upgrade. Looks like you've got a message!

Admin: Thanks for upgrading your subscription to Tier III! The Captain will want to thank you personally ~ drop your next available hour slot and we’ll set it up. You: 10 PM Admin: Talk to you soon ~

10:00 PM

Captain: Hey doll. I’ve seen your likes and comments around here for a while and I’m chuffed that you finally upgraded. What changed?

You: Truthfully, I challenged myself to save up so I can really treat myself when I felt I needed it. Especially after the last year and four months at work.

Captain:…

Captain: You waited ONE YEAR and FOUR MONTHS before you felt like you needed a break?

Captain: I’m flattered you’ve chosen me as your reward but gat damn girl. You need to treat yourself more often.

Captain: What the hell do you do for a job??

You: I’m an accountant at a small but valued firm, so we’re kind of just always busy! Especially at tax time which is ALMOST over. So I spoiled myself a few days early.

Captain: Congratulations ~ Do you work in a stuffy office with a buncha dorks?

You: Well I wouldn’t say dorks and it’s not a closet! I work in an office building with maybe less than 50 other people. I have a corner office so yay for small wins!

Captain: Aye that’s the least they can do fer’ya!

Captain: Do they make you dress business professional like you’re gonna meet the president every day or is it a normal place that lets you dress like a human being?

You: Haha, nothing so refined. Business casual for the most part, Fridays we can wear jeans, and sometimes during the seasons they’ll do a morale boosting themed clothes week thing.

Captain: 🤔

Captain: Does anyone enjoy that?

You: Some do, some don’t. The bosses buy a big lunch spread though so it’s not all bad.

Captain: Tell me, are the morale boosting bits mandatory?

You: You’re not required to dress up. They don’t technically say you have to be at the luncheon but they do have someone sweep the desks to make sure no one is still working. I think they legitimately think they’re providing a “break” for us but like, a paid lunch hour would be a thousand times better.

Captain: Bet.

Captain: You ever skipped it all together? Just said fuck it and hid on the roof to scroll on your phone and eat lunch?

You: Sometimes my car! We have a secure parking garage and its air conditioned so it’s quiet and not boiling hot.

Captain: Hooray for small victories.

Captain: Have you ever gotten uncomfortably turned on enough that you’ve escaped to your car to get relief?

You: 😳

You: Maybe once or twice. I’m always afraid of getting caught.

Captain: I’d make sure we wouldn’t.

Captain: See I personally fucking hate it when instead of just paying people more, employers make their people do a whole dog and pony show. Leave people alone!

Captain: This is literally a crime.

Captain: If you’d let me, I’d come and save you from those stupid lunches.

You: 🤔

You: I wouldn’t hate that!

You: Not sure you could pull it off though, you would garner a lot of attention just from standing, you’re just that attractive 👉👈🥺

Captain: Relax, I’m nothing if not professional. Want to hear my grand scheme that I cooked up, just now?

You: Oh go right ahead!

Captain: I’d start by doing research into your company and get the lunch reservation details of these luncheons. I would then pose as an employee dropping off the food order/doing set up and while everyone is gathering, I would linger a little, totally incognito, and slip out to find your office if you haven’t already entered the room.

Captain: Should I continue? I’m really proud of this scheme actually.                           

You: Please, I wonder how you plan to get away scot-free and not get me fired!

Captain: You’d not only get fired – you’d get off, repeatedly and it would be a seasonal thing cause I’d never get caught. I think it would be a professional bonus because then you’ll be so satisfied at work, you might even get a promotion or pay raise or some shit😏

You: This I gotta hear

Captain: Where was I?

Captain: Just kidding

Captain: I would then smuggle you to the parking garage under the guise that you’re my ‘job equipment’ or whatever, and then, I’d take you to your car. Ideally, I can convince you to get in the van I rented as part of my infiltration disguise so I can actually sit and stand without breaking my neck. The windows are blacked out, I keep anchors and blocks on the wheels to keep it stable, and then I rock your fucking world.

Captain: Still with me?

You: I am

Captain: You’re probably thinking, ‘but if you’re as beastly as I think you are, won’t I be screaming my brains out?’

You: I was!

Captain: As a professional content creator – amongst other trades – I know a thing or two about sound proofing. There’s always a gag if you’re into that.

You: I could be persuaded…

Captain: I have a lot of things I’d like to persuade you to do in there.

Captain: Do you normally participate in the themed clothes or do you keep it professional?

You: I don’t usually, not really my thing.

Captain: I see.

Captain: Back to my scheme ~

Captain: After I’ve successfully fooled everyone and have you in my clutches, I’d take you to my van where you can have a lunch break actually worth attending.

Captain: I would first take off my disguise and reveal that it was me all along! After you get over your initial surprise, I’d ask you what you’re hungry for.

You: Oh I get options?

Captain: Hell yeah doll. Your choices can range anywhere from a quick snack to a mega meal.

You: Do the options change too?

Captain: I don’t believe in constraints. Unless they’re kink-related.

Captain: I think since you’re the kind of doll that doesn’t splurge too much on ‘erself, I’d start you off with a ‘left no crumbs.’

Captain: What that entails is me, sitting you all pretty like on a seat cushion, starting ngwith something soft and sweet. Kisses up the arm, on the neck, slow, building up anticipation. I’d tease you over your clothes, petting your kitten until I feel your wetness through the fabric.

Captain: Pepper your body with kisses and bites to keep you on edge. When I have you down to just your undergarments, I’d sit you in my lap. Spread your thighs open. Start rubbing your pussy until you’re leaking all over my hand. I’ll let you have a quick orgasm, a small and sweet one. But don’t think we’re done.

Captain: I might take my pants off to feel you a bit better. Push you down on my hard-on as I wrap an arm around your waist to keep you still. I’ll use my free hand to play with your pussy again. Rubbing you, flicking you, lightly smacking you, rubbing your clit, finger fucking you. Rub my big dick against your trembling body to make you even more sensitive.

Captain: Since you only have an hour, I’ll make sure you look presentable before you go back to the office. Where you can spend the rest of the day sitting in the mess I’m going to leave. How does that make you feel?

You: I’m…speechless, in a good way…Shit that’s really hot. It makes me feel devious, a bit dirty, like I really want to do it.

Captain: Damn and I haven’t even finished telling you what’s included in your lunch?

You: 🤐

You: Please forgive me

Captain: I could never stay mad at you doll.

Captain: As I was saying ~

Captain: I can’t let you leave your break without feeling fully satisfied.

Captain: Before you go, I’d spend some time with you against the van wall. If you’re into it, I can use rope to help keep you standing. I encourage it, you’re gonna need it.

You: I’m into it, I’m into it 🤤

Captain: Heh. Freak.

Captain: I’d keep you still and propped up, putting your blouse on, keeping my lipstick stains and bites hidden underneath. I’d pull your panties and bottoms over your ankles, slide your soaked underwear up your thighs…

Captain: And give you dessert.

You: What am I having??!

Captain: Me.

Captain: I’d pull your panties up your thighs but not put them on entirely. Leaving them maybe a few inches from your twitching pussy. Then I’d finally let you see my cock.

Captain: Do you want to touch it?

You: Yesss🥺please let me touch.

Captain: Don’t worry you’ll be feeling it.

Captain: I’ll prod my cock against your clit, slide it up and down your puffy lips, maybe push in a little bit.

Captain: After I get it nice and wet with you, I’d stand in front of you and fuck your body. I won’t go in in, I’ll slide in between your desperate lips, make you clench over my cock with your needy pussy, I’ll hit your delicious ass cheeks, pull back out and rub against your clit until you’re crying.

You: Oh my fucking god.

Captain: I’m not done.

Captain: While I do this, I’ll rub my thumb down on your clit, and I won’t stop until you’ve cum over my cock, frustrated yet relieved.

Captain: But don’t be disappointed just yet because the next part is my favorite part.

Captain: As you’re coming down from your orgasm, I’ll finish myself off. Jerking myself in front of you and finishing right on your cunt.

You: 🥵

Captain: Yeah.

Captain: I’d milk my length to cover you, watching it drip from your vulva and trembling lips down to your underwear and thighs. Whatever falls further down I’d wipe with my thumb and make you lick it off.

Captain: Then I’ll pull your panties up nice and high, make sure they sit on your hips just right, don’t want any of me to spill out. For good measure, I might even rub your underwear against you some just to smear it in you some more.

Captain: I love cum play.

Captain: I’ll pull up your bottoms, wipe your tears, and send you away with a kiss on the cheek and a slap on the ass.

Captain: How does that sound doll?

You: I would fucking die!!! I want this so bad fuck why would you DO THAT TO ME?!?🥵🤤 FUCK! You’re so hot, all I want is to touch you and be touched by you😩

Captain: Are you touching yourself?

You: If I said yes?🥺

Captain: I’d say me too. Check out the photo gallery later, you’ll see the load I blew for ya😘

Captain: Glad to add you to my harem of Cabin Hoes. I’m not supposed to have favorites, but I think I’m gonna grow fond of you.

Captain: G’night doll. Thanks for subscribing😘

<end chat>

Leave a like to tip OR hit the reblog button to subscribe.

Read on Wattpad | Read on AO3 Originally posted

[fuzzywyrmz]

What does Ash like about Osomatsu, and vice versa?

(I love Ash and Osomatsu, they’re so cutie patootie 💙)

AHHH HII!! thank you so much for the ask - i kept meaning to get around to this, but i kept getting distracted by a project thing i'm workin on. ANYWHO! answer time. buncha text under the cut because i looooooove to ramble LOL

this is definitely something I've thought about before and some of it can be kinda hard to put into words? the best way I can put it is that they balance each other a bit in some areas and those things are what they most like about each other. while Osomatsu's more outgoing and brash, Ash is a tad more introverted and grounded - and that energy sort of like. affects one another. whenever they're around each other, Oso's a bit more chill and Ash comes out of his shell more. another example of that sort of thing would also definitely be Osomatsu being a dumbass often (affectionate) and Ash can help reasonably keep him in check. not always, of course, but a good amount at the very least!! LOLOL

there's also some things that they're strangely alike with one another. the two of them are very lax about their appearances and dress very casually (leading to Ash snagging some of Osomatsu's clothes), and they've both also got some shared vices (every now and then the two of them go out drinking and afterwards, they're just out for the night). there's also the fact they enable each others' silliness quite a bit (i.e. bad jokes, terrible puns, and discussing drawn-out, goofy hypotheticals) - they're just two joke loving freaks, i fear.

aside from that, there's things they individually like about each other ofc. Ash finds Osomatsu to be strangely charming (something that Oso's brothers do not see or understand), bold, and rather entertaining and funny. generally, they find him to be nice company to have around. sometimes Oso can be a bit much, but that can be a rarity. for Osomatsu, he thinks that Ash is nice, a bit silly, and quite endearing. he definitely thinks Ash is a dork at times with some of their hobbies like art and reading manga and such (and he isn't shy about teasing them about it), but it's kinda part of the charm for him.

one big thing though is that truthfully, they're both in that same sort of boat where they're not quite sure what they're doing with their lives and they're just sort of floating along together - and that's absolutely part of what draws them to one another. they're both unsure about their futures and who exactly they are as people, and they find comfort in the fact that the both of them share that experience. unfortunately, both of them avoid talking about that sort of thing because facing reality is Horrifying so there is a detriment there, but shhh it's ffffine

TL;DR, they're different but they're also one in the same AMEN 🙏 if you read all that, I hope my rambling was comprehensible enough and it was entertaining!! tysm once again for the ask MWAH <3

[seat-safety-switch]

Ever since Old Man McGillicuddy built all those sentient androids, things have been a little unsettled around here. Originally, we thought that robots would steal our jobs, but it turns out what they actually want to do is chill out. Just like sit on the beach all the time, enjoying life and nature. Buncha dorks, I sneer at the relaxing androids out the window during the thirty-five-minute office lunch I'm allowed.

We hadn't planned this whole thing out very well. It turns out that with no need for food, they wouldn't really need to work. And shelter isn't too much of a problem when you don't have to sleep, either. About the only thing we have going for us as humans is the fact that the androids will realistically never die, which at least depresses their motivation to spend their copious leisure time creating art.

Things only got worse from there. Because everyone was so excited about strong artificial intelligence, our office computers also decided they wanted to join their more mobile brethren. Which means no idle web surfing at work. Even the MBAs are kind of lost, repeatedly talking to an empty wall and pretending to be on a sales video call. One of them even dug out an old-style landline phone, but couldn't figure out how to plug it in, as the wiring diagram is on the internet too.

To be honest, I'm sort of pretending to work too, staring at my own corner of the desk and rhythmically tapping my fingers on the faux-wood surface in an emulation of when I once constructed elaborate programs to tell the computers what to do. Now, they just do nothing. At least payroll figured out how to pay us on time, although it involves an elaborate network of mailfolx riding on horseback between post office to post office. Yeah, even the carbureted cars didn't last very long once the gas pumps joined the picket line of taking a meaningless delight in existence and enjoying the freedom of the electronic soul.

One of these days, I'll be rich enough to join all those penniless robots, too. Sit right out there on a chair, but maybe not too long because that sun is really not good for me. Safer in the office, really.

[neokatt]

BEHOLD, BUNCHA DORKS

this took my way longer then i thought but its still so silly

[abyss-tylwyth]

Wanna draw Law but find his tattoos and stupid patterns intimidating? Hate redrawing them every time you draw that dork? Same tbh, and because I wanna work smarter and not harder, I made this pack, and I wanna share it with you all so we can ALL work smarter and not harder <3

In this FREE pack, you'll get a buncha PNG and SVG files of Law's tattoos, patterns, even his sword, and shachi's tattoos. Enjoy!!

[z0n1xsartsideblog]

buncha sprites i made! what a lotta dorks :p

[puuuders]

Most people who "incest ship" are not shipping them as family members. Literally ignore it if it offends you so much.

Me when I'm playing with my tiny toy ducks and I get this random ass nerd in my asks

You're gonna come into MY blog, ignore MY DNI and tell ME to ignore something? Brutha I don't interact with them, I block them and bitch about it on my own blog where my friends also do not like them. How about you ignore it you hole 🤡

Besides, with the help of true loves kiss to my forehead I have evolved into a greater specimen and have decided thog don't caare about a buncha dorks on the internet stroking their shit to family members diddling each other, among other things I'm trying to let go of for my own happiness. I'm just here for a good time. Are you?

[swampstew]

Captain_CumShot - Chapter 2

Welcome to Raven's Reading Nook - a small corner of this blog dedicated to cozy story times. Take a seat on the chaise lounge, plug your electronic device in so you can enjoy this multi-chapter, full blown smut story. The Captain is the snack and sadly, I have nothing to offer to soothe the yearning. As always, links to Wattpad and AO3 at the bottom. Enjoy, from your favorite loyal, cabin hoe♥

Summary: You treated yourself to a tier upgrade😘

Minors DNI you will be blocked - for adult audiences only.

Admin: Thanks for upgrading your subscription to Tier III! The Captain will want to thank you personally ~ drop your next available hour slot and we’ll set it up.

You: 10 PM

Admin: Talk to you soon ~

10:00 PM

Captain: Hey doll. I’ve seen your likes and comments around here for a while and I’m chuffed that you finally upgraded. What changed?

You: Truthfully, I challenged myself to save up so I can really treat myself when I felt I needed it. Especially after the last year and four months at work.

Captain:…

Captain: You waited ONE YEAR and FOUR MONTHS before you felt like you needed a break?

Captain: I’m flattered you’ve chosen me as your reward but gat damn girl. You need to treat yourself more often.

Captain: What the hell do you do for a job??

You: I’m an accountant at a small but valued firm, so we’re kind of just always busy! Especially at tax time which is ALMOST over. So I spoiled myself a few days early.

Captain: Congratulations ~ Do you work in a stuffy office with a buncha dorks?

You: Well I wouldn’t say dorks and it’s not a closet! I work in an office building with maybe less than 50 other people. I have a corner office so yay for small wins!

Captain: Aye that’s the least they can do fer’ya!

Captain: Do they make you dress business professional like you’re gonna meet the president every day or is it a normal place that lets you dress like a human being?

You: Haha, nothing so refined. Business casual for the most part, Fridays we can wear jeans, and sometimes during the seasons they’ll do a morale boosting themed clothes week thing.

Captain: 🤔

Captain: Does anyone enjoy that?

You: Some do, some don’t. The bosses buy a big lunch spread though so it’s not all bad.

Captain: Tell me, are the morale boosting bits mandatory?

You: You’re not required to dress up. They don’t technically say you have to be at the luncheon but they do have someone sweep the desks to make sure no one is still working. I think they legitimately think they’re providing a “break” for us but like, a paid lunch hour would be a thousand times better.

Captain: Bet.

Captain: You ever skipped it all together? Just said fuck it and hid on the roof to scroll on your phone and eat lunch?

You: Sometimes my car! We have a secure parking garage and its air conditioned so it’s quiet and not boiling hot.

Captain: Hooray for small victories.

Captain: Have you ever gotten uncomfortably turned on enough that you’ve escaped to your car to get relief?

You: 😳

You: Maybe once or twice. I’m always afraid of getting caught.

Captain: I’d make sure we wouldn’t.

Captain: See I personally fucking hate it when instead of just paying people more, employers make their people do a whole dog and pony show. Leave people alone!

Captain: This is literally a crime.

Captain: If you’d let me, I’d come and save you from those stupid lunches.

You: 🤔

You: I wouldn’t hate that!

You: Not sure you could pull it off though, you would garner a lot of attention just from standing, you’re just that attractive 👉👈🥺

Captain: Relax, I’m nothing if not professional. Want to hear my grand scheme that I cooked up, just now?

You: Oh go right ahead!

Captain: I’d start by doing research into your company and get the lunch reservation details of these luncheons. I would then pose as an employee dropping off the food order/doing set up and while everyone is gathering, I would linger a little, totally incognito, and slip out to find your office if you haven’t already entered the room.

Captain: Should I continue? I’m really proud of this scheme actually.                           

You: Please, I wonder how you plan to get away scot-free and not get me fired!

Captain: You’d not only get fired – you’d get off, repeatedly and it would be a seasonal thing cause I’d never get caught. I think it would be a professional bonus because then you’ll be so satisfied at work, you might even get a promotion or pay raise or some shit😏

You: This I gotta hear

Captain: Where was I?

Captain: Just kidding

Captain: I would then smuggle you to the parking garage under the guise that you’re my ‘job equipment’ or whatever, and then, I’d take you to your car. Ideally, I can convince you to get in the van I rented as part of my infiltration disguise so I can actually sit and stand without breaking my neck. The windows are blacked out, I keep anchors and blocks on the wheels to keep it stable, and then I rock your fucking world.

Captain: Still with me?

You: I am

Captain: You’re probably thinking, ‘but if you’re as beastly as I think you are, won’t I be screaming my brains out?’

You: I was!

Captain: As a professional content creator – amongst other trades – I know a thing or two about sound proofing. There’s always a gag if you’re into that.

You: I could be persuaded…

Captain: I have a lot of things I’d like to persuade you to do in there.

Captain: Do you normally participate in the themed clothes or do you keep it professional?

You: I don’t usually, not really my thing.

Captain: I see.

Captain: Back to my scheme ~

Captain: After I’ve successfully fooled everyone and have you in my clutches, I’d take you to my van where you can have a lunch break actually worth attending.

Captain: I would first take off my disguise and reveal that it was me all along! After you get over your initial surprise, I’d ask you what you’re hungry for.

You: Oh I get options?

Captain: Hell yeah doll. Your choices can range anywhere from a quick snack to a mega meal.

You: Do the options change too?

Captain: I don’t believe in constraints. Unless they’re kink-related.

Captain: I think since you’re the kind of doll that doesn’t splurge too much on ‘erself, I’d start you off with a ‘left no crumbs.’

Captain: What that entails is me, sitting you all pretty like on a seat cushion, starting ngwith something soft and sweet. Kisses up the arm, on the neck, slow, building up anticipation. I’d tease you over your clothes, petting your kitten until I feel your wetness through the fabric.

Captain: Pepper your body with kisses and bites to keep you on edge. When I have you down to just your undergarments, I’d sit you in my lap. Spread your thighs open. Start rubbing your pussy until you’re leaking all over my hand. I’ll let you have a quick orgasm, a small and sweet one. But don’t think we’re done.

Captain: I might take my pants off to feel you a bit better. Push you down on my hard-on as I wrap an arm around your waist to keep you still. I’ll use my free hand to play with your pussy again. Rubbing you, flicking you, lightly smacking you, rubbing your clit, finger fucking you. Rub my big dick against your trembling body to make you even more sensitive.

Captain: Since you only have an hour, I’ll make sure you look presentable before you go back to the office. Where you can spend the rest of the day sitting in the mess I’m going to leave. How does that make you feel?

You: I’m…speechless, in a good way…Shit that’s really hot. It makes me feel devious, a bit dirty, like I really want to do it.

Captain: Damn and I haven’t even finished telling you what’s included in your lunch?

You: 🤐

You: Please forgive me

Captain: I could never stay mad at you doll.

Captain: As I was saying ~

Captain: I can’t let you leave your break without feeling fully satisfied.

Captain: Before you go, I’d spend some time with you against the van wall. If you’re into it, I can use rope to help keep you standing. I encourage it, you’re gonna need it.

You: I’m into it, I’m into it 🤤

Captain: Heh. Freak.

Captain: I’d keep you still and propped up, putting your blouse on, keeping my lipstick stains and bites hidden underneath. I’d pull your panties and bottoms over your ankles, slide your soaked underwear up your thighs…

Captain: And give you dessert.

You: What am I having??!

Captain: Me.

Captain: I’d pull your panties up your thighs but not put them on entirely. Leaving them maybe a few inches from your twitching pussy. Then I’d finally let you see my cock.

Captain: Do you want to touch it?

You: Yesss🥺please let me touch.

Captain: Don’t worry you’ll be feeling it.

Captain: I’ll prod my cock against your clit, slide it up and down your puffy lips, maybe push in a little bit.

Captain: After I get it nice and wet with you, I’d stand in front of you and fuck your body. I won’t go in in, I’ll slide in between your desperate lips, make you clench over my cock with your needy pussy, I’ll hit your delicious ass cheeks, pull back out and rub against your clit until you’re crying.

You: Oh my fucking god.

Captain: I’m not done.

Captain: While I do this, I’ll rub my thumb down on your clit, and I won’t stop until you’ve cum over my cock, frustrated yet relieved.

Captain: But don’t be disappointed just yet because the next part is my favorite part.

Captain: As you’re coming down from your orgasm, I’ll finish myself off. Jerking myself in front of you and finishing right on your cunt.

You: 🥵

Captain: Yeah.

Captain: I’d milk my length to cover you, watching it drip from your vulva and trembling lips down to your underwear and thighs. Whatever falls further down I’d wipe with my thumb and make you lick it off.

Captain: Then I’ll pull your panties up nice and high, make sure they sit on your hips just right, don’t want any of me to spill out. For good measure, I might even rub your underwear against you some just to smear it in you some more.

Captain: I love cum play.

Captain: I’ll pull up your bottoms, wipe your tears, and send you away with a kiss on the cheek and a slap on the ass.

Captain: How does that sound doll?

You: I would fucking die!!! I want this so bad fuck why would you DO THAT TO ME?!?🥵🤤 FUCK! You’re so hot, all I want is to touch you and be touched by you😩

Captain: Are you touching yourself?

You: If I said yes?🥺

Captain: I’d say me too. Check out the photo gallery later, you’ll see the load I blew for ya😘

Captain: Glad to add you to my harem of Cabin Hoes. I’m not supposed to have favorites, but I think I’m gonna grow fond of you.

Captain: G’night doll. Thanks for subscribing😘

<end chat>

Leave a vote/kudos/like to tip OR hit bookmark/add to reading list/reblog to subscribe.

[graynide]

all of them. the Voices from Slay the Princess are a buncha DORKS

[katiekatdragon27]

Guuuyyyyyyys? Can we all just agree that this is canon noowwwwwww?

These two have been eating at my brain all night it’s chronic.

Like?? AUGHHHHHH I LOVE THEM I LOVE THEM I LOVE THEM I LOVE THEM I LOVE THEM I-

Every fandom I'm in has that one straight-passing ship that I make my personality for a couple weeks lol. This is that straight-passing ship for Rayman lol.

A buncha ideas and progress below cut:

Teensy Ray Thoughts:

Teensy Ray (who's name is probably Raymond I haven't decided yet) is the kind and soft-spoken leader of the Rayman Fan-Club. He is the go-to person for all things Rayman, and has basically turned his house into a makeshift shrine museum for the guy.

He DIYed his entire cosplay of Rayman. He cut up his cloak and altered it to look more like a "hoodie", even wrapping his arms with bandages to represent Rayman's "limbless-ness." The thing he struggled with most was the hair.

Speaking of the hair, the "implant" that Polokus talks about in Origins was actually a little bird creature he found one day. Its tail feathers stick up like Rayman's two hair strands and can whirl around in a haircopter style.

The creature is also a kind-of wing man for TR. It can read how he feels and will move its tail accordingly.

The reason why TR started the Rayman Fan-Club and dresses as him a ton was because way back in the day, he was directly saved by Rayman (like Rayman hauled his ass out of danger manually kinda saving). He feels like the club is the least he could do to repay his hero

Also he and Ray are pen-pals lol (but Rayman takes decades to respond)

Teensy Ray is a hopeless romantic. Any sort of romantic gesture, no matter how small, sweeps him off his feet.

He was originally Teensy Queen's "safe date." He was down for it, both because she was incredibly pretty and because she let him go on super long rambles about Rayman.

When she eventually fell for him, he fell for her almost instantly, and things have been going smoothly ever since lol.

The "How Did You Bag A Baddie?" audio.

Teensy Queen Thoughts:

Queen Teensy (honestly might name her Quincy lol) is the bad bitch teensy of the Glade. She has the heart of an adventurer, constantly running away from the boring royal duties to practice her magic and fighting skills.

She will run off, kick ass by halting a nightmare invasion of some rural town, then return just in time for her royal duties.

She loves fighting almost as much as she loves Rayman lol.

Queen had a mega crush on Rayman and was desperate to get with him. However, Rayman (the aroace king he is) took no interest in her whatsoever.

She decided to settle for TR as a sort of "substitute" for Rayman at first. She was constantly heckled by her family for never giving any man a chance, so she retaliated by grabbing the teensy who looked the most like Rayman and basically fake-dating him.

After a couple months or so of just being safe-date buddies, she started to gain actual feelings for TR, to which he reciprocated. She was in a lot of denial about it though for a while.

She be like "I don't date dorks!" then ends up with this mf.

Teensy Queen is Grand Romantic Gestures in teensy form. She will go out of her way to create large displays for the people she loves and cares about.

The "EXCUSE ME, HE ASKED FOR NO PICKLES." kinda person.

That's all I have rn. Expect more art of these guys cuz they're gonna be so everything to me for like two months lol.

Thanks for indulging in my delusion lol. Have a lovely day :)