#But like... this scene is really when it hits Josh! from the moment he asks if Zach's afraid of him now like... there's a shift. although

[nearlydawn]

nights like this.

⋆ pairing: josh washington x fem!reader ⋆ genre: fluff ⋆ warnings: no y/n, just slight flirting, mutual pining, before prologue ⋆ wc: about 3.1k ⋆ note: not proofread, expect part two ⋆ requested: no

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tuesday, 7:56 pm.

both you and josh had been planning this night for what felt like weeks—a movie night. to be frank, neither of you are very coordinated when planning hangouts, but when you stepped inside and saw nothing laid out—blankets, snacks, drinks—or even a recorded movie ready—you knew this was going to be a mess, a small frown tugging at the corners of your lips.

sometimes things are better done spur of the moment! josh sheepishly let you in, insisting he forgot, but you knew he didn't—he couldn't have. texts back and forth every day talking about how excited you were proved that—not to mention hannah and beth were trying to tidy things up in the living room, waving at you with smiles on their faces. "i'm sorry—really—i'll get popcorn going," he rushed out, shaking his head softly as he made his way into the kitchen. you could've sworn he was blushing. from embarrassment. obviously. you didn't mind in the long run. you were here, and now the party was really going to get started. "it's alright, josh."

-

you sat criss-cross on the washington’s couch, remote in hand as you scrolled absentmindedly through the channels. josh, on the other hand, was in the kitchen whipping up popcorn. you were supposed to be looking for movies… but nothing seemed to be on tonight. nothing interesting, at least. it bored you to the point you were lost in thought while clicking the down button. their house was one you'd been in many times, and honestly you treated it like your own—albeit a bit better since you wanted to make a good impression. every time you arrived you just felt an immense sense of comfort, like you were wrapped in a warm blanket the second your foot hit the hardwood floor. but i guess that's just the effect the washington's have. on everything, really. whenever you get texts from them you're unable to hide the smile from your face.

the subtle pops and snaps of the kernels filled your ears, as well as the overwhelming smell of butter. it was a nice contrast to the frustration you were feeling... just seeing the same shit as you switched channels—almost to the point where you just wanted to take that dumb, plastic remote and throw it at the screen. deep breaths, you said. just take a deep breath.

click after click, channel after channel, nothing. the only things coming up were reality tv, animal planet—hell, judge judy. honestly, you could've settled for something dumb like 'ridiculousness' or 'the impractical jokers', but you desperately wanted to find a horror movie. you know. that cliché movie scene where the girl clings to the guys arm helplessly as she pretends to be scared—nuzzling her face into his shoulder to 'hide' from the absolute terror on screen. and then the boy consoles her, telling her that there's nothing to be afraid of, but deep down the girl just wanted an excuse to be by him. -

“aye, ya find anything?” he walked up behind you, a dopey grin on his face. his hands rested just behind your head, leaning on the couch. his voice broke you out of your small fantasy... unfortunately. you glanced behind yourself, thumb still auto-pressing like a zombie. “nope. no luck,” you sigh, scrolling so far you reached static.

“mm, well, i'm pretty sure i have dvds lying around somewhere,” he shrugged, patting your shoulder gently as he stepped back.

“now that's more like it.” you smiled with relief, setting the remote down by your side as your hands came to rub your face. "any idea where they are?"

you stood up from the couch, circling it as you followed him back into the kitchen. josh hummed softly, trying to think whilst pouring the popcorn into a medium sized tin bowl.

“they’re either in my room or my sisters, i’d assume,” he concluded, shooting you a knowing look. “we’re all movie people.”

you nodded, walking over to the fridge as you grabbed two bottles of water. “i can go check with hannah and beth,” you smiled.

hannah and beth. they had left the living room in silence the second they were done organizing—no hello or hug like usual. it was a bit strange, but you chose not to question it. i mean, they were only helping him, you know.

your hand lingered on the fridge handle for a moment, closing it quietly as you walked back to the couch. the cold of the water bottles were beginning to burn your hand—a sensation you never enjoyed. quickly, you set them down on coasters on the coffee table, wiping the condensation on your pants.

“so you don’t want to come to my room with me?” he teased, following after you as he brought the popcorn out.

“ew, josh,” a slight scoff escaped your lips, faint blush dusting your cheeks. “i’d much rather talk to your sisters.”

you feigned annoyance, but the smile creeping up on your face clearly said otherwise. it was incredibly hard to hide the fact his little comment made your heart race and all of your blood rush to your face.

silence fell between the two of you—a tension filled silence. your heartbeat echoed in your ears, trying to steady your breathing. his eyes scanned over your face, and suddenly the world seemed to stop. the glow of the tv seemed to illuminate his face perfectly—accentuating all his features. it was like he was luring you in. a sort of magnetic pull that just had you absolutely captivated.

conflicting feelings arose in your mind. it was a known fact that you liked josh—but should you act on them? your heart wanted you to walk forward and close the distance, but your mind was unsure. you were good friends, sure, but it was far-fetched to say he felt the same. he was unobtainable in your book.

“suit yourself,” he grinned, shrugging nonchalantly.

the second time you were broken out of your thoughts.

his voice was smooth—the way he replied igniting a spark within yourself. he turned around almost as soon as he spoke, disappearing into the hallway that led to his room. as his footsteps slowly dissipated, you finally exhaled. honestly, you didn’t even know you were holding your breath.

but, did he always look at you like that?

- the walls of their home were decorated in a plethora of family photos, some of just them individually. there weren't many of josh, but the ones they did have up were cute, mostly him as a little boy with a goofy grin on his face. excited about his first day of kindergarten—catching his first fish—all his milestones. you couldn't help but look at all of them as you wandered around in attempt to find hannah or beth. you envied the washington's a bit—a well off family with a big house that just so happened to own an entire fucking mountain, not to mention the lodge and other buildings on that property. (dare i say nepo-children?). no matter how many times you were in that house, you only seemed to remember where hannah's room was, aside from the living room. your footsteps were quiet as you navigated, walking up the staircase with your left hand on the railing. as you reached the top of the steps, you b-lined it to hannah's room, knocking on her door gently. you could the muffled sounds of laughter, followed by soft steps as the door swung open—beth greeted you with a tight hug. hannah was sitting on the floor in front of a line-up of nail polishes. fun! "hey," she grinned as your name fell from her lips, "long time no see! i thought you and josh were supposed to be watching a movie?" she let her hands fall to your sides, holding your arms as she gently shook your body back and forth. "yeah, we were going to—" you smiled, laughing a bit as she took your hand and brought you into the room, "i came to ask if you guys had any dvds. he said they might be in here." the twins shared knowing glances, and they both nodded as they looked back at you—almost in sync. it was scary. were you first hand experiencing twin telepathy? they had a full-on conversation with their eyes alone. "they're in my room, i'll take you." beth took your hand in hers again, leading you out of hannah's room almost as soon as you arrived. you quickly waved to hannah, mouthing 'bye' as you were practically dragged through the endless hallway. a couple turns away and you were in front of her door. a small, mischievous smile tugged at the corner of her lips, glancing between you and the door as she opened it. "can i tell you something?" it came off as a question, but you knew she was going to say it anyway. beth walked straight to her bedside, picking up a stack of movie cases. you stood in the doorway, leaning on the doorframe with you arms crossed. a bit skeptical, you nodded, "of course." she almost seemed giddy at your reply, walking calmly over to you to hand you the tapes. there was an expression you couldn't quite read on her face. it was like she was excited—but also like she wanted to hide it at the same time. your arms opened to take the dvds, holding them to your chest as you read the titles from the top down, slipping the case to the bottom of the stack once you were done. "i'm pretty sure josh has a thing for you," beth started, tucking her bottom lip in between her teeth. she was trying to shut herself up, but honestly she couldn't keep it in any longer. your eyes flicked between the names of the movies and her face, your brows furrowing. she knew something you didn't. "what do you mean?" curiosity laced your voice but your eyes never met. you avoided her gaze. she leaned on the wall beside you, watching as you were suddenly so focused on reading all of the movie titles. "well, for starters, you are the only girl he's ever invited over to the house," beth nodded, sticking out a hand to count how many things she was listing off. she stuck her thumb out. "the only time he ever sees sam and the others are when we go to the lodge or hang out as a group." you hummed a small 'mhm', wanting her to continue. to say you were intrigued would be an understatement—you wanted to hear more, needed to hear more. just a half hour ago you were trying to convince yourself it was too good to be true, and now you weren't so sure. "and, he keeps asking han and i what kind of things you're into." she stuck out her pointer finger.

resting her head on the wall behind her as she looked up at the ceiling, she continued: "he's been listening to a lot of fleetwood mac ever since we mentioned it to him."

a small laugh managed to escape you as you listened to her, followed by a gentle nudge on her part. "i'm serious, i've never heard someone listen to gold dust woman so much!"

“maybe he’s just being a good friend—y’know, i always try to get into—“ beth placed her pointer finger to your lips, a quick and silly way to silence you.

“can you just trust me on this one?” her voice was desperate but playfull, her hand dropping to her hip.

a beat of silence fell between you two. it wasn’t awkward, just giving you time to think about it all. and then it dawned on you.

he’d been flirting with you the entire time.

stolen glances, the way his hand brushed against your own, little presents here and there—everything began to make sense. and you looked like a fool. blush instantly rushed to your cheeks, shaking your head as your eyes met beth’s.

“and you’ve known this for how long?”

“about 4 months. he begged us to not say anything—i swore on my life.”

another beat of silence.

“does josh know that i—“ you began, cut off by beth once more, this time by her words.

“nope, not to my knowledge. unless han said something, he is also oblivious.” she reassured, placing a hand on your shoulder.

“is it as painful as watching chris and ashley dance around the topic?” you questioned, tilting your head slightly with a bashful smile on your face.

“worse, actually, way worse. you guys are always so close to making a move, and then you chicken out.”

you shook your head once more, then glanced back down at the movies. they were all comedy except for one—‘the shining’. you’ve already seen it, quite a few times actually, but it wouldn’t hurt to play it. you politely handed the other movies back to beth, tucking the horror case underneath your arm.

her palm fell from your shoulder, taking the movies into her hands as she returned them to her bedside, then right back to the spot she was standing at.

“okay, but, that still doesn’t explain why he ‘forgot’,” you put air quotes up, “about our hangout today. is something up?”

“well,” she sighed, glancing to the floor before she met your eyes again. “i honestly don’t know. i think you just make him nervous, he was kind of just sitting around fidgeting all day.”

you nodded, butterflies swirling in your stomach. you made josh nervous? hell, he made you nervous. palms all sweaty any time you got too close—your body naturally heating up—not to mention how you always get red in the face when he stares at you for too long.

“promise you won’t say anything.”

“i won’t.”

-

eventually, you had made your way back to the living room, this time ignoring the family photos and instead trying to figure out if you were going to say something to josh. each step you took matched your heart beat, nice and steady. that was until you spotted josh on the couch, eyes closed.

your heart fluttered a bit just seeing him. despite only being apart for a couple minutes, you couldn’t help but miss him. it was a familiar feeling, unfortunately, it came with the burden of having a crush on him.

as if he felt your presence (undoubtedly heard your steps), his eyes opened as he turned his head to look in your direction—immediately sitting up straight with a small smile.

“there she is,” he stood up, walking over to meet you in the middle, “i’m guessing they had the movies?”

“mhm,” you nod, handing him the case. “you’ve seen ‘the shining’ before, right?”

he shook his head, taking the dvd into his hand, examining it. his eyes glanced between you and the writing on the case. "horror?" he questioned, sauntering over to the tv—you followed after. "would you rather watch 'pretty woman' or 'ferris bueller's day off' again?" you teased, leaving him to put the movie in while you sat on the couch, sneaking a few pieces of popcorn. josh chuckled gingerly, popping the disc from the holder straight into the dvd player. you changed the hdmi until it displayed the previews for other movies, signifying that you were on the right one. he strolled back over to you, sitting on the other side of the couch. comfortable silence fell between you two as he skipped the previews, immediately turning the movie on. he seemed invested—which was good—but you were starting to get bored. it was a great movie, don't get me wrong, but having seen it a few times... it just wasn't something that sparked your interest. compared to the other movies, this was the best bet. "scared?" you turned your head to look at him, a small smirk on your face. "need someone to hold onto?" "yes, definitely," he retorted, a dramatic flare grazing his voice. josh almost immediately moved closer to you, your knees touching as his arm hung on the spine of the couch—behind your body, of course. "what would i do without you?" you rolled your eyes, graciously accepting the newfound warmth that spread through your body. yes, from the proximity, but also because your heart was racing once more. he seemed so eager to be beside you. which is a good thing. - minutes passed and you found yourself watching josh's face more than the movie. he was completely entranced—hyper-focused on the screen in front of him, oblivious to your fond eyes examining his every expression. and over that time, your positions had changed. his arm was now resting around your shoulders, pulling you (basically) as close as possible, with your legs touching, both of you glued to each other. you could feel each time he was startled—his body tensing—then relaxing. eventually you decided to watch the movie, your eyes returning to the bloody horror that was being displayed. your head rested on his chest, and you wrapped your arms around his abdomen—a lazy hug, but also because it was more comfortable this way. you swore you could feel his heart rate pick up. "scared?" he mocked, glancing down at you. you scoffed, shaking your head gently against his body. “if anyone’s scared it’s you,” you retorted, looking up at him through your eyelashes.

josh looked back down at you, this time holding the eye contact. both of your eyes simultaneously flicked between the others eyes and lips—the two of you thinking the same thing.

your lips parted almost instinctively, both of you leaning in—

“am i interrupting something?”

hannah’s voice cut through the tension like a knife—neither of you even heard her coming. you sat up quickly, blush evident on your cheeks.

“not at all,” josh replied, his arm still around hour shoulders—he seemed rather calm—but his body was tense against yours.

you didn’t want to admit it, but it was so excruciatingly obvious she interrupted something. with the way she was grinning, she had to have known it too.

a small smile fell on your lips, looking at her, that same mischievous smile that her sister wore was now on her face.

beth was right. you and josh dance around the topic too much—at this point, you need to come up with your own choreography for it. the fact you two almost kissed—faces so close—yet so far.

how long were you going to have to wait for it to happen again?

thank you all for being so patient while i took my time writing this. pretty sure i experienced writers block lmao? i got kind of lazy halfway through but hope you enjoyed!!! let me know what you think in the comments pretty plzz tried to hurry this shit out like 3 days ago and got bored but now i REALLY had to have it done by today so i could watch arcane s2 LMAOO also i'd like to say that i got my layout inspo from ruewrote, so thank you for having a blog (lol)

[foreverisntenough]

‘Movie Night’

Summary: If only life was like the movies. For years, you’d flirted with the idea of something more with Trent, your brother’s best friend.  You'd always danced around the edges of something more with him, sharing flirty moments that felt like scenes straight from the cinema. You had been silently desperate for the main character of your life’s film to finally get the boy but you knew moments like that were saved for Hollywood. The lines were clear; you were always going to be his mate’s little sister. So what happens when you go off script? In a whirlwind of passion, secrets, and stolen moments, you're left wondering: will you and your brother's best friend get the happy ending you've been waiting for, or was it never meant to be more than a fantasy? 

Index:

Warnings: This series is 18+ MDNI [ smut, dv, loss of a parent, drinking - not sure what else really… if i miss anything please lmk!

Note: Thank you for reading! Please be sure to like, comment, or message me what you think of the series!

Disclaimer: Still the same.

Chapter 28- 'Safe Now' | ‘Movie Night'

word count - 12.9 k

The house party had fallen into complete and utter chaos. Jess stood off to the side watching it all unfold with Megan beside her. She rolled her eyes looking on as you sobbed into Trent, his hands bloodied, Jack attentively speaking with the police, Josh licking his wounds as he got escorted out of the house, Noah consoling a terrified Layla, Devon still on the phone. Out of the corner of her eye Megan caught the reaction. 

“Jess, what the fuck…”  Megan asked, confused why her best friend just rolled her eyes looking at you bruised and battered. 

“They all protect her like she’s five years old.” Jess quipped very clearly disinterested in your wellbeing. 

“Jess, they protect her like someone has hurt her… Like someone has abused her.” Megan corrected her, annoyance and anger evident in her voice, and empathy for you in her eyes. 

“Abuse? Please.” Jess scoffed with a shake of her head. “Whatever, it used to happen to her all the time and no one said shit before this whole "relationship." Before T decided she was something she’s not.” Jess complained, taking another jab at you all whilst revealing she’d known about the way Josh had treated you.

“Sorry?” Megan looked at her gobsmacked. 

“Oh Meg, come on. You didn’t see the way Josh would throw her around?”  Jess snickered with a devious grin watching your body shake in Trent’s hold. Meanwhile, Megan’s voice cracked as she turned to Jess. The realization of everything that had been going on hit her like a ton of bricks. 

“Jess, you knew about the way he treated her? The abuse?” Her voice was strained, a mixture of hurt and disbelief. “What the fuck?…. You don’t have to like her, that’d beside the point… Y/N aside, knowing that’s going on and not saying anything is fucked up” Megan yelped feeling betrayed by her best friend. Jess rolled her eyes again, as if she had no remorse for the situation unfolding around her. 

“Is it?” she sneered, the venom in her voice unmistakable. “Because some people… I don't know, kind of deserve it, don’t they?” Jess explained her rationale, clearly believing it. Megan’s face twisted in disgust, clearly disagreeing. 

“Fuck you! You knew about this, you bitch” Layla interjected, after overhearing, shoving Jess. Jess’s back hit the marble bar top behind her. 

“Ow, you cunt. Fucking psycho, that hurt!” Jess yelped. The tension in the air was thick, and the atmosphere felt like it was on the edge of shattering. Layla, who had been at the center of the emotional whirlwind all night, couldn’t hold it in anymore. Thankfully someone else was going to intervene to prevent another fight breaking out. 

“Aye! Aye! Aye! C’mere,” Noah yelled, trying to prevent another explosion between Layla and Jess, dragging Layla back into him, leaving Jess standing a few paces away, looking frustrated and defensive, and inappropriately strangely offended. Jess’s smirk had faltered, but the bitterness in her gaze hadn’t gone anywhere. Layla collapsed into Noah’s arms, her sobs racking her body. He held her tightly, trying to offer comfort despite the mess of emotions swirling around them.

“Jess, I can’t… I can’t be friends with someone like that… I… I… can’t be your friend anymore.” Megan’s words were quiet, but they rang with finality.  Her jaw was slack, just in utter shock. She took a step back, as if the physical distance could help her emotionally detach from the girl she once thought she knew. “This is too much. You’ve done too much.” Then Jess’s smirk faltered for just a moment, her defenses cracking as she realized Megan wasn’t backing down, in fact, she was backing out. 

“You don’t understand, Meg. You don’t get it.” Jess babbled trying to buy time to come up with an excuse that’d salvage a friendship.

“No,” Megan said, shaking her head, her voice firm. “I get it, Jess. You let someone suffer. You let a man hurt a woman. You willingly let that happen…” Her voice wavered slightly but grew stronger with every word. “And you know what? I’m done.” She wiped a tear from her cheek, turning away from Jess. Layla’s sobs grew more desperate hearing them, the reality of your situation reduced down to ‘a man hurting a woman,’ it didn’t feel like enough. Noah could feel the weight of her emotions in his own chest. 

“I gotcha,” He whispered softly, gently rocking Layla back and forth as she clung to him, her hands gripping his shirt tightly. 

When Devon awkwardly came back, he took a deep breath and moved closer to them, trying to assess the situation. He tensed up when he saw Noah consoling Layla, his mind racing with uncertainty. He wasn’t sure how to react. He didn’t want to intrude, but he couldn’t ignore the fact that Layla was falling apart right in front of him and comforted by someone else.

“Layla… we should probably head out,” Devon suggested gently, his voice barely above a whisper. His words were careful, trying not to add any more weight to an already fragile situation but trying to take back something he thought he wanted. Noah’s hold on Layla loosened slightly, giving her the opportunity to go freely but she clung to him even harder, her grip tightening as if she feared losing him, or worse, losing herself in the storm of everything that had happened.

“I… I can’t. I’m sorry, no,” Layla whimpered, her voice broken and raw. The words were barely audible, but they hit both Noah and Devon hard. Noah hesitated, his heart aching for her. He looked down at her, unsure of what else to say or do. Devon stood silently, exchanging sympathetic glances with Noah. He knew Layla was in a fragile state, and he didn’t want to push her. His own discomfort was palpable, but he tried to mask it.

“It’s cool, bro. As long as she’s good,” Devon said quietly to Noah, his voice steady but laced with concern. His attempt to brush off the awkwardness was clear, but it didn’t quite work. He didn’t want to make a bigger deal of it than it already was. Layla and his potential romance really wasn’t the concern tonight, especially not to Layla. Devon was trying not to take it personally. Noah nodded, still unsure of the best course of action. He wasn’t sure what was driving Layla’s need to cling to him, whether it was the trauma of the night, the need for comfort, or something else entirely. He figured it was just that she needed to be with someone she trusted, someone who understood her, even if he didn’t fully understand her emotions at the moment and why he was the one she wanted. He could feel the weight of the night pressing down on both of them, and he couldn’t shake the feeling that things had changed between them all. They stood there for a long moment, in an uncomfortable silence. Devon didn’t object. He just nodded, stepping back and allowing Noah the space to comfort Layla. They all felt the gravity of the situation, but for now, the most important thing was making sure everyone was okay, and doing whatever that took.

The room felt suffocating, like everything that had just transpired had pressed the air out of the space. Jack was still speaking with police officers, as you clung to Trent on the ground. You looked almost unrecognizable, your eyes swollen shut from tears, bruising beginning to purple from Josh’s hands on you, your top ripped, Trent’s hands holding you, but simultaneously leaving behind a soft trace of soft still coming from his knuckles. All of it was amplified by Layla’s sobs echoing softly in Noah’s ears, and he could feel the tremble in her body as she clung to him. It wasn’t just the weight of the night; it was everything coming to the surface—her frustration, fear, the weight of everything she had witnessed, everything she felt for you. She was unraveling, and he couldn’t look away. Noah’s arms held her gently, but his mind was a blur. He wasn’t sure what to do. He hadn’t been expecting this, hadn’t prepared himself for the emotional gravity of the situation. He’d never expected things to come to this. Come to something so serious. He had always been the lighthearted one, keeping things in check, but now? He was standing at a crossroads. He was hurting for you and Trent, and Jack, now Layla needed him... and what if he might've needed her too.

“Noah…” Her soft, desperate voice broke through his thoughts. He leaned in, trying to find some calmness to anchor the situation. 

“Hmm? You want me to get you back home or you to Jack and Y/N’s?” Noah offered sweetly, brushing past his own emotion. But she shook her head, and Noah felt a slight chill. There was something more here. Something deeper than just the chaos of the night. His gaze softened as he tried to make sense of it. “Devon’s?” he asked quietly, his mind grasping for a logical answer. But the tension in Layla’s body told him she wasn’t thinking logically right now. “Just gotta get his address for me. Just wherever you want, alright Lay?” He whispered. She was overwhelmed. She needed something, someone, to ground her. He wasn’t sure where that was going to be, but he wanted to help.

“Yours,” Layla whimpered.  Noah’s body stiffened holding her, something shifted in him. He froze, his entire body stiffening, his heart thudding louder in his chest. Her words were soft, vulnerable, and they hit him in a way he didn’t expect.

“Ah… Lays,” he stammered, not sure if that was a good idea but she was already pressing into him more, her voice barely above a whisper. 

“Please,” she begged, and Noah could hear the rawness of her plea, her quivering lip breaking through the last of her control. In that moment, Noah knew he couldn’t turn her away. Despite the confusion, the weight of his own feelings, and the uncertainty of what this might lead to, he couldn’t let her go.  Noah hesitated for a moment, feeling the weight of Layla’s distress. He had never seen her this vulnerable, and it weighed heavily on him. He’d known her for years, but tonight, everything felt different. As she sobbed against him, his protective instincts kicked in, but at the same time, the tension in the air made him question his decision. He knew that taking her to his place would complicate things further, but her pleading eyes made him relent.

“Yeah, alright,” he murmured, squeezing her tighter, his voice thick with emotion he hadn’t anticipated. He wanted to say more, to ask questions, to try and make sense of what was happening, but he didn’t. He accepted trying to do anything to deescalate tonight, although in his right mind this felt like opening a can of worms.  Tonight wasn’t about figuring it out. It was about being there for her, letting her lean on him when everything was falling apart around them. He didn’t want to overthink it, even though he knew this was going to lead them down a path they hadn’t expected. But for now, in the quiet of this moment, he just held Layla. And that was enough. Layla’s sobs slowly softened, and she nodded weakly against his chest. She wasn’t looking for an answer from him. She just needed to feel safe, needed something familiar. Noah pulled back slightly, brushing his hand through her hair and wiping away the stray tears that had fallen down her cheeks. He wasn’t sure what this would mean for them, for his relationship with Layla, if there was one. He had never imagined he’d be the one comforting her like this, not in this context.

“I’m here, Lays,” he whispered, his voice soft. “I’m not going anywhere.” His mind was racing with questions he wasn’t sure he had answers to. Noah’s thoughts kept drifting between the night’s chaos and the way Layla clung to him like a lifeline. He wasn’t sure if he was the right person to help her through this, but he wasn’t about to leave her alone. He gently guided her out of the room, trying to be as quiet as possible, not wanting to bring any more attention to themselves. The night had already spiraled out of control, and Noah wasn’t sure what the next steps would be. But for now, all that mattered was making sure Layla was okay. That was all he could focus on.

The party, which had already turned into an emotional minefield, was officially a wreck. People were starting to trickle out, some of the boys from the group still standing in stunned silence, unsure of how to react. The only thing that seemed certain was the mess of relationships, friendships, and trust that had been irreparably shattered. But as the last echoes of chaos subsided, Trent was there, by your side, holding you as if he never wanted to let go. And though things felt broken, in that moment, at least you weren’t alone.

When Noah and Layla arrived to his place, he flicked on the lights, his voice light but cautious. “Alright, home sweet home.” He muttered, scratching the back of his head as he stepped aside to let Layla in first.  Layla, still shaken by the evening, wasn’t really in the present moment but she was taken aback by the organization of it all. She’d been over before, she thought she had at least, but there were always boys there, beers everywhere, balls being kicked around, the tv on. But right now, it was so clean. She anticipated a space full of clutter, leftover takeout, and the remnants of last night’s entertainment. But as she walked further inside, her brows furrowed slightly in surprise. It was immaculate. The living room was tidy, pillows arranged perfectly on the sofa, no stray bottles or misplaced shoes in sight. Even the air smelled fresh, clean. She blinked. Noah caught her staring, a bashful chuckle escaping him.  “Okay, so…” he exhaled, shifting on his feet. “I don’t really have much… stuff for when a girl comes over.” He earnestly admitted. Layla’s lips twitched at his awkwardness mostly because it was so uncharacteristic but before she could say anything, he rushed to clarify, waving a hand. It wasn't like Noah wasn't hooking up with people ever. It was more of a preferred way of living. He wasn't exactly keeping extra towels around just for them. “Nah, fuck off. That’s not—what I mean is, I don’t like extra stuff. I just—I like my things neat and tidy.” Layla let out a soft giggle, stepping further into the him. 

“I can tell.” She teased, her eyes scanning the space as they made their way upstairs. His bedroom was just as pristine, the bed perfectly made, not a thing out of place. She glanced at him, tilting her head. “This is… not what I expected.” She giggled. Noah scoffed, smirking as he leaned against the doorway. 

“Yeah, yeah, I know. Thought I was a mess, didn’t ya?” He teased with a smirk. It was a soft remnant of normalcy but at the same time, it was a reminder of how incredibly abnormal the night had been. 

“I mean… a little.”  Layla shrugged, grinning. He rolled his eyes dramatically before nodding toward the bed. 

“Alright, you take my room, I’ll grab the couch. Good?” He instructed her. There was an elephant in the room but they were both going to ignore it best they could.

“Are you sure?” Layla hesitated. Noah dug through a dresser drawer finding a shirt. He turned with a smile and tossed it to Layla. 

“Beauty sleep and all that, you know? Look at me—” he gestured to himself with a smirk. “I could use a night on the couch, it’s starting to get unfair.” He cheekily laughed.

“You’re so obnoxious.”   Layla let out a giggle, shaking her head with a smitten smile, grabbing the shirt.

“Some call it endearing.” He shot back effortlessly. Layla bit her lip, shaking her head fondly before meeting his gaze. 

“Count me as some.” She murmured. Noah’s smirk softened, something unreadable flashing across his expression for a brief moment before he gave her a small nod. Noah ran a tired hand down his face, exhaling as he moved around the room, the weight of the night still heavy on his shoulders.

After teeth were brushed, and lights beginning to turn off, Layla lay tucked into his bed, the covers pulled up to her chin, watching him through tired eyes as he grabbed his glasses from his nightstand. He looked exhausted—worn from everything that had happened.

“Alright, get some rest, Lay.” He cooed.  She exhaled, exhaustion finally hitting her as she settled into the bed.  She glanced down at the oversized t-shirt she was wearing, the fabric soft and smelling like him. Guilt tugged at her chest as she watched him stretch his shoulders, rubbing at the tension in his neck. She hated the thought of him sleeping on the couch when there was enough space for both of them.

“Noah… you can stay.” Layla murmured, voice soft in the quiet of the room. It was olive branch, but simultaneously a devil's offer. Noah stilled, his hands dropping to his sides as his gaze met hers. 

“Yeah? You sure?” His voice was hesitant, as if he wasn’t entirely convinced. But internally he was biting at the bit. Layla simply nodded, shifting onto her side in silent invitation. He hesitated for a moment longer before sighing and switching off another light, then crossed the room to the bed. As he crawled in, he kept a safe distance, lying on his back, one arm draped over his stomach. The space between them wasn’t uncomfortable—it felt natural, unspoken trust settling between them. For a long moment, they just stared at each other in the dim light filtering through the curtains. It wasn’t awkward. If anything, it felt grounding. Then, Layla’s voice broke the silence. 

“You always take care of everyone, Noah. Who takes care of you?” She asked. Noah’s breath hitched slightly, and for the first time in a long while, he didn’t have an immediate answer. Nothing quick witted came to mind. The question hit somewhere deep, somewhere he didn’t often acknowledge. Being the middle child in a big family, he’d always been the peacekeeper, the one who looked out for everyone else. He swallowed, his throat suddenly dry.

“Ah, I’m a big boy, Lay. I’ll be alright.” He attempted to brush it off, forcing a small smirk, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. Layla exhaled softly, her voice laced with something that sounded a lot like understanding.

“Yeah… but we all appreciate it. I appreciate it.” She whispered. Noah didn’t respond, just stared at the ceiling, something warm settling in his chest at her words. She meant them. He could feel it. Layla shifted, rolling onto her side, facing away from him. Noah turned his head slightly, watching the gentle rise and fall of her shoulders before letting out a slow breath,

“Will be alright.” Noah leaned over and kissed her hair. A gesture that innately he hadn’t had thought twice about but it was loaded now, they were in bed. Noah's lips had barely grazed the back of her head before his brain short-circuited. Shit. Shit. Shit. He cursed himself instantly, eyes snapping shut as if he could undo the moment. Layla stiffened, the silence stretching for what felt like eternity. "... sorry Lay... I...." His voice was rough, hesitant, already preparing to get pied off and laughed at. Layla didn't turn to look at him, but her voice was soft, almost shy when she spoke.

"You're really sweet, Noah." She told him gently. His heart pounded. He should've left it at that— should've rolled away, thrown himself off the bed, maybe out the window. Instead, she spoke again, quiet and unsure. "Noah... do you... do you like a cuddle?" He exhaled, relief washing over him but it was laced with trepidation.

"Yeah, 'course." He told her. Layla didn't move. She just lay there, waiting, as if silently asking him to do something about it. Noah swallowed hard. "Would a cuddle make you feel any better tonight?" His voice was softer now, more careful. She nodded over her shoulder. Noah was fucked-and he knew it the second she arched her back, just enough for him to pull her against him properly. His hands slid around her waist pulling her into him, unintentionally dragging up the oversized t-shirt she was wearing, his shirt. He hadn't meant to, but Layla didn't stop him. "Better?" His voice was low, barely above a whisper. Layla hummed in response, melting into his touch. Letting his hands begin to wander-skimming her thighs, the dip of her waist, the curve of her ass.

And then he heard the most perfect thing he’d ever heard in his life, Layla whined. Noah nearly lost it, his mind went bank. "Yeah, you're good." He murmured, lips ghosting over the back of her neck. Every muscle in his body was tense, but his touch remained slow, careful. "Just wanna make sure you're good." He whsipered. Layla barely managed a breathy response. 

"Yeah, I'm good." She whined. But then she moved. Intentionally. Grinding her ass back against him, slow and deliberate. Noah clenched his jaw. He was fighting demons. The way her body fit against his, the heat of her pressing back on his already rock-hard dick, the way she whimpered so softly, he thought he might die right there.

"Good girl." He spoke and Layla was very much so in the same boat as him. She swore she blacked out for a second. This was Noah-silly, goofy, Noah. The same one who gave her shit for everything, made every joke on the table. And yet, right now, he was none of those things. He was careful, but firm. Gentle, but commanding. His hands weren't just holding her anymore-they were learning her. Her pussy was throbbing, desperate for something, anything. She barely recognized the noises leaving her lips, soft little whimpers that only spurred Noah on. Meanwhile, Noah was struggling. Every instinct in him wanted to flip her over, push her thighs apart, wreck her. But he didn't. He held himself back, settling for pressing his mouth against her skin, letting his fingers roam just enough to drive her crazy. He didn't know what the fuck was happening between them, but he knew one thing— Layla was ruining him.

When you all stepped back into your house, the silence was oppressive, almost deafening. It wasn’t the comforting kind of quiet that accompanied safety—it was heavy, suffocating, and filled with the weight of everything left unsaid. Trent carried you in, his strong arms holding you as securely as he could. Your face stayed buried in the nape of his neck, where it had been for what felt like hours. He didn’t mind. He’d have carried you forever if it meant you didn’t have to feel the weight of the world pressing down on you. The house was dark, every shadow stretching out like a reminder of the emptiness you felt inside. Even with Trent’s steady heartbeat against your cheek and Jack’s concerned presence lingering nearby, the void within you consumed everything. Trent shifted slightly, his voice low and soft, like he was afraid to disturb whatever fragile piece of you was holding on. 

“I’m gonna take her upstairs,” he whispered to Jack. Jack nodded quickly, his own voice equally hushed. 

“Yeah, course.” He stepped closer, his gaze darting to you, searching for any sign of recognition, of acknowledgment. “Y/N…” he whispered, crouching slightly to meet your height in Trent’s arms. “You’re gonna be okay, alright? We’re here, and you’re safe.” His voice was gentle, his tone pleading for some sort of response, some proof that you were still there with them. Jack leaned in and pressed a kiss to your forehead, his lips lingering for a moment as if the gesture alone could transfer his strength to you. But you didn’t respond. You didn’t flinch or pull away. You didn’t nod or hum. You remained still, silent, completely withdrawn. Trent adjusted his hold on you, his grip firm yet tender as he carried you up the stairs. Jack watched after the two of you, his heart heavy, wishing he could take the pain from you, share the burden somehow.

Upstairs, Trent moved slowly, as though every step might break the fragile stillness surrounding you. He pressed another soft kiss to your temple as he reached the bedroom.

 “I’ve got you, baby. You’re safe now.” He whispered opening the door. But even those words, the ones you always believed when they came from him, couldn’t reach you—not yet. You stayed curled into him, as small as you could make yourself, lost in the dark and quiet, hoping for the light to find you again. “Alright, let’s get you to bed, baby,” Trent murmured softly, his voice calm despite the storm of emotions raging inside him. His hand throbbed, his knuckles bruised and aching, and his face still stung from the earlier confrontation, but none of it mattered—not when he looked at you. His heart clenched at the sight of your fragile state, your tear-streaked face buried in his neck, your body trembling against his. He carried you further into the room like you weighed nothing, your trust in him the only thing grounding him in the moment. Carefully, he lowered you onto the bed, but the moment your body hit the mattress, the dam inside you broke. A guttural sob tore from your throat, and tears began streaming down your face all over again. You reached out for him desperately, your fingers clutching at his shirt, clinging to him as though you were afraid he might disappear. “Hey, hey, I’m here,” Trent whispered, his voice cracking slightly as he settled down on the bed beside you. He reached for your hands, holding them firmly but gently, as if anchoring you to him. His eyes scanned your face, taking in every inch of your pain, his own heart fracturing under the weight of it. “You don’t want me to let go?” You shook your head frantically, burying your face into his chest as your cries grew louder. 

“No, T,” you choked out between sobs, your voice small and broken.

“Okay, okay,” Trent murmured, his lips brushing against your hair. He wrapped his arms around you tightly, cradling you like you were the most precious thing in the world. “I’m not leaving you. Not now, not ever, baby. I promise. I’ve got you.” For a while, he just held you, letting you cry against him as his hands rubbed soothing circles over your back. Every now and then, he pressed soft kisses to the top of your head, whispering reassurances into your hair. “You’re safe now, baby. It’s over. I’m here.” Eventually, when your sobs began to quiet, Trent gently pulled back to look at you. His fingers came up to brush away the tears from your cheeks, his touch so soft it felt like a whisper against your skin. “Can I get you into some different clothes, pretty girl?” he asked softly, his voice barely above a murmur. “Might make you feel a little better. Little comfier, cozier.” He tried to smile but it was hard. You didn’t respond, only whimpered quietly as your body trembled in his arms. Trent let out a shaky breath, trying to keep his emotions in check. “I know, I know,” he said gently, his tone soothing as his fingers stroked your hair. “C’mon, I’ll help you. I’ve got you, baby.” Moving carefully, as if you might shatter under his touch, Trent began peeling your clothes off. His heart sank as he saw the bruises littering your skin, the harsh marks standing out like cruel reminders of the nightmare you’d just endured. When his eyes landed on the cut near your collarbone—where Josh had torn your necklace off—his breath caught in his throat. He turned his head away for a moment, his jaw clenching as tears filled his eyes. He blinked them back quickly, swallowing down the anger and guilt that threatened to overwhelm him. You didn’t need his pain right now. You needed his strength. “Do you want to shower, baby? Or is that too much right now?” he asked gently, his voice thick with emotion. 

“No, T… I just want you.” You shook your head quickly, your voice breaking as you whispered. The sheer vulnerability in your voice broke him. 

“Alright, alright. I’m here, baby. I’m not going anywhere,” Trent said softly, his hands trembling slightly as he grabbed one of his oversized shirts. He slipped it over your head carefully, the familiar scent of him surrounding you like a protective cocoon. Once you were covered, Trent quickly peeled off his own clothes, leaving himself in just his boxers. He pulled down the sheets and climbed into bed beside you, immediately pulling you into his arms. He tucked the blanket around both of you, his strong arms wrapping around you as he held you close to his chest. Your head rested against his shoulder, your body curled into his as he pressed a soft kiss to your forehead. His fingers threaded gently through your hair, his touch slow and soothing as he whispered to you.

“I’ve got you,” Trent murmured, his voice thick with emotion. “I’ve got you, pretty girl. You’re safe now, yeah? I promise you, you’re safe.” Your breathing eventually began to even out, though your body still trembled slightly against him. He held you tighter, his hand moving in slow circles over your back. “Not letting go, baby,” he whispered again, his lips brushing against your temple. “Not tonight, not ever.” You nestled against Trent’s chest, your head tucked under his chin as his arms wrapped around you protectively. His steady heartbeat echoed in your ear, grounding you amidst the swirling chaos of your mind. The warmth of his body and the way he held you felt like a lifeline, tethering you to safety when everything else felt broken. “I love you,” Trent whispered, his voice soft and trembling with emotion. “I love you more than anything in the world. You’re everything to me, baby.” His words washed over you like a balm, soothing yet bittersweet. Your heart ached, a deep, raw pain that mirrored the soreness in your body, but Trent’s voice kept pulling you back, reminding you that you weren’t alone in this. And then, as if trying to fill the empty, aching spaces inside you, Trent began listing every reason why he loved you.

“I love because of everything that you are, pretty girl. You’re so perfect,” he murmured, his lips brushing against your hair between words. “You’re so sweet, nicest girl I know, you care so much about everyone, even when they don’t deserve it. I love how smart you are, how funny you are. I love how you light up a room without even trying.” His voice cracked slightly, but he kept going, his hand rubbing slow, gentle circles on your back. “I love the way you laugh, the way you smile at me like I’m the only person in the world. I love to make you smile, baby. It’s all I’ve ever wanted to do. I used to come over and just pray you’d be home, just so I could sit next to you, make you happy, keep you happy.” Trent ached recalling how you two grown up together and all he wanted was to keep you happy and yet here you were crumbling in his arms. You cried harder listening to him but he kept going. You needed to know. “I love how you’re always there for people, even when it’s hard. And I love how you let me be there for you, like now. I love you, baby, more than I’ll ever be able to say.” You listened in silence, tears streaming down your face as you burrowed closer into his chest. His words carried so much love, so much tenderness, it was almost unbearable. You cried harder, the weight of everything crashing down all at once. “I’ve got you,” Trent murmured, his voice steady even as his own emotions threatened to overwhelm him. “Always.” His lips found your hair, pressing soft, lingering kisses there as he held you tighter, yet with so much care it felt as if he thought you might break. His hands never stopped moving, tracing slow, comforting patterns across your back. Eventually, your sobs began to quiet, exhaustion overtaking you as Trent’s warmth and gentle reassurances lulled you into sleep. Your breathing evened out, your body going limp in his arms as you finally found some semblance of peace. Trent stayed still for a moment, his chest rising and falling steadily as he looked down at you. Your tear-streaked cheeks glistened in the faint light, your lips slightly parted, your face still etched with the pain you carried even in sleep. He couldn’t hold it in anymore. Tears filled Trent’s eyes, spilling over as he shut them tightly, his chest heaving with quiet, shaky breaths. He pressed another kiss to your hair, the salt of his tears mingling with your scent.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered, his voice breaking as he held you closer. “I love you. I love you so much. I’m so sorry, baby.” He cried silently, his tears dampening your hair as he stroked your back, his thumb brushing over a small bruise on your arm. The sight of your battered body and the weight of your pain tore at his heart, and all he could do was hold you, hoping his presence would be enough to start piecing you back together. “I’ll fix this,” he murmured softly, his voice a quiet vow. “I don’t know how, but I’ll fix this. I’ll keep you safe. Always.” Trent stayed awake for hours, his tears eventually drying as he held you close. Every now and then, he’d press another kiss to your hair, his lips lingering as if he could somehow pour all his love and apologies into you through that simple touch.And as the night stretched on, Trent whispered one final promise into the quiet room: “I’ll never let you hurt like this again. I swear, baby. Never again.”

It was late into the morning, it was actually leaning into the afternoon when Jack knocked gently on your bedroom door.  Trent barely heard it. Jack opened the door seeing that he heard no sound on the other side. Jack stepped into the doorway, his face etched with concern as he took in the sight before him. The room was dim, the curtains still drawn, letting in only a sliver of the afternoon light. You were completely draped over Trent, your body molded to his like you couldn't bear even the smallest distance. Trent was awake, but his entire focus was on you-his hands never stopping their slow, soothing strokes along your back, his lips pressing gentle kisses into your hair every so often, murmuring soft ‘I love yous’ like a prayer. 

“Yo.” Jack whispered quietly, nodding to grab Trent's attention off you, if only for a moment. Trent glanced over, his tired eyes meeting Jack's as he reached out a hand, silently dapping his mate up. It was a simple greeting, but there was a quiet understanding between them-Jack was checking in, making sure Trent was alright too. But the moment Trent's hand left you, you stirred, a soft whimper escaping your lips as you instinctively sought out his touch again. Your body shifted on top of him, nuzzling into his chest, your arms tightening around him as if to pull him back. Trent immediately brought his hand back to you, rubbing slow circles into your back again.

"I'm sorry, baby. I'm here," Trent whispered, his voice impossibly soft, his lips brushing your forehead. Jack watched, something deep in his chest aching at the sight. He had never seen you so vulnerable before, so completely dependent on someone else's presence just to feel safe. And he had never seen Trent like this either-his usual confidence stripped away, his entire being consumed by the need to comfort you, to protect you.

"She get any sleep last night?" Jack looked at you, keeping his voice low. Trent nodded, but his eyes were still full of exhaustion. Trent let out a slow breath, looking down at you. Even in sleep, you still looked troubled, your brow slightly furrowed, your grip on him impossibly tight. He hated it-hated that you were hurting like this, hated that he couldn't take it all away.

"Yeah... cried herself to sleep, but she's been in and out for a while now." His hand never stopped moving on your back, keeping you tethered to the safety of his touch. "She's not let go of me once, though." Jack sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. 

"I figured. Just wanted to check on you both." He hesitated before adding, "When she wakes up, I'lI make sure there's food, yeah? She'll need it." Trent nodded, a silent thank you passing between them.  The room stayed dimly lit, the curtains still drawn, keeping the world outside at bay. The only sound was your steady breathing, though even in sleep, your body remained curled into Trent’s, as if afraid to let go. His hands never stopped moving, rubbing slow circles along your back, grounding you in whatever way he could. His own body ached—his swollen hand throbbed, his face bruised and sore—but none of it mattered compared to the way you clung to him. “Brought you some ice too…” Jack held up an ice pack Trent hadn't noticed was in his hand.

“Thanks, bro. Probably a little late now… swollen already.” Trent exhaled, a tired chuckle escaping his lips as he nodded down at his bruised hand on your back. Jack shrugged, setting it down on the nightstand.

“Yeah, well, if you want it, it’s here.” He hesitated for a moment, eyes flickering down to where you lay on Trent’s chest, his arms locked protectively around you. His voice dropped even lower. “How’s she been, seriously?” He asked, looking for more. Trent sighed, rubbing his thumb over your shoulder absentmindedly. 

“The same as,” he admitted, his voice thick with exhaustion. “Obviously rattled, but she’s just been sleeping… if she wakes up, she cries for a bit and then back to sleep.” Jack gave a sad, knowing nod, his brows furrowing as he reached out, gently brushing a piece of hair from your face. You barely stirred, just nestled deeper into Trent, as if even in your sleep, you knew where you were safest. Trent’s voice softened even more, his grip tightening around you instinctively. “If I take my hands off her, asleep or not, she freaks out, so…” Jack inhaled sharply, shaking his head. 

“Jesus.” His voice was barely above a whisper, a mix of anger and sorrow laced in the single word. Trent’s jaw tensed, his gaze fixed on you. 

“I don’t even know, mate… this is…” But his sentence trailed off into nothing, because there weren’t words for it. Jack sat on the edge of the bed, watching his sister— someone he used to think of a strong—curled up like a wounded animal, looking anything but. 

“It’s awful,” he admitted. “But she trusts you. She just feels safer with you after last night. She always has.” Trent swallowed hard, nodding. 

“It was fucking awful, but she should trust me. I love her. I tried to protect her, mate.” Trent tried to explain. Jack met his eyes, nodding with quiet conviction. 

“I know, mate. You did.” Jack confirmed sincerely. Silence settled between them again, thick and heavy. Trent shifted slightly beneath you, hesitating before lowering his voice, not wanting to wake you, as if an inch more of space between you would make it so you couldn’t hear, what he was going to ask.

“Any word on…” He didn’t say the name, he didn’t even need to say Josh’s name. He didn’t have to. Jack already knew. Jack’s jaw clenched.

“Said charging him with assault and extortion.” Jack explained. Trent’s brows shot up in surprise. 

“Really?” He said low but surprised. He had expected Josh to walk away unscathed, like he always did. The fact that something was actually sticking this time? It stunned him. Jack nodded. 

“Yeah, I mean, obviously the physical evidence on her from what he did that night was obvious to them, he had her under his fingertips." Jack swallowed and Tfrent winced. It was just as brutal to hear as it was to say. "And all the other times—she had photos of, so I grabbed those. And then Ty got all the video stuff sorted. So.” He shrugged, like it was nothing, but Trent knew how much effort it must’ve taken to pull all of that together over just last night. Trent let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. 

“Wow…” His arms subconsciously tightened around you, like holding you closer could erase all the damage that had been done.

“Yeah…” Jack exhaled, rubbing his face before standing up. “It’s good though, mate." Trent nodded. "Need anything?” He asked. Trent shook his head.

“Nah. Just gonna chill for a bit. See what she feels up to later. Sorry. Hope that’s—” Jack cut him off with a look.

 “Bro, it’s cool.” He said but then paused. His voice softened as he looked at you again. “Thanks for being there for her.” Trent glanced down at you, pressing a gentle kiss to your temple. 

“There was never a choice, mate. She’s everything to me.” Trent let out a deep breath, adjusting his grip on you as you stirred slightly in your sleep. His hands, despite their own aches, instinctively resumed their slow, comforting strokes along your back. Jack stood beside the bed, watching the two of you with a mixture of sadness and quiet admiration. “But Jack…” Trent spoke, causing Jack to pause. “You don’t have to thank me for that,” Trent murmured after a moment, shaking his head. “There was no world where I wasn’t going to be there for her.” His voice was firm, unwavering. Jack nodded, rubbing a hand over his jaw, his expression unreadable. 

“I know,” he said simply. “But still.” A beat of silence passed between them, heavy with the weight of the last twenty-four hours. Trent glanced at the ice pack on the nightstand, then at his swollen hand, but he made no move to take it. His priorities were elsewhere. Jack noticed. 

“You should at least put that on for a bit,” he said, nodding toward it. Trent let out a small, humorless chuckle. 

“Hurts like hell, but it’s nothing compared to…” His voice trailed off as he looked down at you, his chest tightening. Jack sighed. 

“Yeah, I get it.” He hesitated for a moment before speaking again. “She’ll be okay, you know.” Trent swallowed hard, his fingers gently tracing soothing circles on your back. 

“I hope so,” he whispered, almost like he was afraid to say it too loudly. Like the thought of you not being okay was too much to bear. Jack looked at him, really looked at him. 

“She will be,” he reassured. “She’s got you.” Trent met Jack’s gaze, something unspoken passing between them—an understanding, a shared promise. Jack had done everything he could to ensure Josh faced the consequences. And now, it felt like it was Trent’s turn to do what he did best—love you, protect you, make sure you never had to feel that kind of fear again. Jack gave Trent’s shoulder a firm squeeze before stepping back. 

“I’ll be downstairs if you need anything,” he said before slipping out of the room, leaving the two of you in the quiet sanctuary of each other. Trent exhaled slowly, shifting just enough to press a lingering kiss to your forehead as he tightened his arms around you.

The cinema room was dimly lit, the only glow coming from the screen in front of you. Trent had managed to convince you to leave the bed, but not much had changed—you were still draped over him, wrapped up in his arms like he was the only thing keeping you tethered to reality. His fingers traced soft, absentminded circles on your back, his lips occasionally pressing against your hair. Then, a quiet voice broke through the silence.

“Hii…” Layla’s whisper sang through the room as she stepped in, careful not to disrupt the fragile peace. She approached with a soft smile, her eyes scanning the way you clung to Trent, how his arms cradled you protectively. She sat down next to you both, reaching out with gentle hands. “Can I have a cuddle too?” she asked, her tone light but full of love. She squeezed your arm gently, and Trent kissed your hair, nudging you ever so slightly, encouraging you to shift toward your best friend. Reluctantly, you lifted your head, sitting up on Trent’s lap and Layla pulled you into her arms, her warmth wrapping around you. You sniffled, your body weak against hers. “Oh babe…” Layla whined, holding you tighter. She hated this—hated how fragile you felt, hated that she could feel the weight of what had happened in your trembling frame.

“I’m sorry,” you whimpered, your voice barely above a whisper. You didn’t even know why you were apologizing, but the embarrassment, the shame, it all sat heavy on your chest. Layla sighed softly, squeezing her eyes shut for a moment as she kissed your cheek. She hated that she could feel not only how broken you were emotionally but physically too in her arms. 

“You have nothing to be sorry for, yeah?” Her words were firm, but her touch was impossibly gentle. She let you go, letting you settle back down against Trent, his arms immediately reclaiming you, holding you just as tightly as before. Layla wiped her eyes quickly, trying to keep things light.  “Okay, be honest though… better cuddle—me or T?” She sniffled through a teasing smile, nudging your side playfully. You tried—really tried—to laugh, but it wouldn’t come. It felt stuck, like everything else inside you. The pain was still too raw. Trent glanced down at you before looking at Layla, smirking, appreciating her efforts. 

“I might edge you out, you know, Lays.” His voice was soft, teasing but careful. He reached out and gave Layla’s shoulder a reassuring squeeze, making sure you didn’t feel like you had to answer.

“Maybe… I am her best friend though.” Layla shot back with a giggle, wiping at her nose. Then she leaned down toward you, pressing a kiss to your cheek. “But you’ve got your dream boy now, hmm?” And there, then in that moment, your best friend joking around with your boyfriend, Trent holding you, keeping you safe, Layla kissing you reassuring you, you let out a real giggle, something light bubbled up inside you. Soft, quiet, but real. It was there. Trent felt it more than heard it, the way your body shook ever so slightly with the sound. His chest tightened with relief, his heart aching in the best way. Layla’s eyes softened, glistening with emotion. Trent held you even closer, burying a kiss into your hair. 

“Yeah, you’ve got me. Love my pretty girl so much.” His voice was barely above a whisper, but you felt every word settle deep in your bones. His arms squeezed you, grounding you in the only truth that mattered right now—he was here, Layla was here, and you were safe.

Jack dropped down into one of the seats with a dramatic sigh, stretching his legs out as if he’d been carrying the weight of the world and he might as well have been. 

“I don’t know, Lays, you might get boxed out like me and Noah. Trenty says they’re best friends.” He tossed the words out with a smirk, arms folding across his chest as he gave a pointed glance in your direction. Layla gasped, her mouth falling open in mock offense. 

“Excuse me? And here I was thinking I was special.” She placed a hand over her chest, shaking her head like she’d just been personally betrayed. You could only let out another quiet giggle, hiding your face deeper into Trent’s chest, a small, shy smile pulling at your lips. The warmth of his body, the steady rhythm of his heartbeat against your ear—it was the only thing keeping you grounded. You felt his arms tighten around you slightly, his fingers rubbing soothing circles on your back.

“Yeah, best friend… love of my life too, hmm?” Trent hummed, his lips grazing your temple before trailing down to your neck in soft, playful kisses. His voice was teasing, but there was something deeper in it, something so undeniably him—warm, sure, and full of a love so consuming you almost felt overwhelmed by it. You nodded against him, your arms slipping under his to hold him tighter, fingers gripping at the fabric of his shirt like you never wanted to let go. It had been such a hard few days, but in his arms, even with the ache in your chest, you felt safe. Slowly, you lifted your head, pressing a soft kiss to his lips, letting it linger for a moment longer than necessary. When you pulled away, you turned toward Layla, stretching your hand out. She took it instantly, her fingers wrapping around yours in a firm but comforting squeeze.

“I can share,” you murmured softly, eyes filled with the quiet affection that only Layla could truly understand. She softened immediately, squeezing your hand back a few times in silent reassurance. 

“You’re very loveable, babe. Hard to resist.” She giggled. Trent kissed the top of your head again, holding you closer. Layla smirked, shooting a look at Jack before grinning. “Guess Jacky boy will be an okay sub then.” Jack scoffed, shaking his head. 

“Okay sub? Wow, alright then.” He laughed, flicking his gaze between the three of you. “Fine, I’ll take ya.” Without warning, he threw an arm around Layla in a rough, brotherly way, yanking her into his side like an annoying sibling. “Let them be gross together. We’ll survive.” He quipped. Layla groaned dramatically, struggling in his grasp. 

“Oh my God, Jack—you’re crushing me! Get off!” She struggled in his strong arms. Jack only laughed, keeping his grip tight, making it impossible for her to wriggle away. You lips uncontrolled pulled into a soft smile. As ridiculous as they were, these were your people.

“Nah, you said I was a fucking sub. If you’re bringing me in, this is what you get.” He smirked. Trent chuckled, shaking his head as he looked down at you, his grip never loosening. 

“They’re just jealous, baby.” He whispered against your hair, his voice full of playful amusement. You giggled softly, the sound barely audible, but real. It was small, but it was something. And for the first time in days, something inside you felt just a little bit lighter.

The room had been filled with an easy warmth, the kind that only came from the presence of the people who loved you most. Trent’s arms remained securely around you as you laid curled into his chest, his steady heartbeat your grounding rhythm. Jack and Layla sat close by, still exchanging playful jabs, the remnants of your soft laughter lingering in the air. For a brief moment, things almost felt… normal. Almost. But then as Jack was flicking through channels on the tv, he paused on a one, a news update cut through the soft atmosphere like a blade.

“It seems the ruckus of the Liverpool-Manchester United match this season has carried off the pitch and into an exclusive neighborhood of Hale last night. A disturbance call made to a Cheshire luxury home early Sunday ended with one arrest being made, Manchester United’s left winger, Josh Ellington…”

Your body instinctively tensed the moment you heard his name, your breath catching in your throat. Trent felt it immediately. His grip on you tightened, his large hands running soothingly up and down your back, his lips pressing a silent kiss against your hair as if to say, I’ve got you. You’re safe. He can’t touch you anymore. But it didn’t stop the ice-cold shiver that ran down your spine. Jack and Layla had gone completely still, their playful banter vanishing as quickly as it had come. The room, which had been filled with lighthearted teasing just seconds ago, now felt unbearably heavy, like the air had been sucked from it entirely.

“Police reported to a house party after receiving a call about the disturbance. It’s been understood that there were multiple footballers from both clubs in attendance. There is widespread speculation that a row kicked off between the rival clubs’ players…”

The words felt distant, like you were hearing them from underwater. You knew what had happened. You had lived what had happened. This wasn’t speculation to you—it was real. The bruises on your skin, the lingering ache in your ribs, the shattered feeling deep in your chest… all of it was evidence of that night. Josh had been arrested. That should’ve meant relief, right? But all you felt was a deep, aching sadness. Because even though he was behind bars, you were still here, curled into Trent’s arms like a wounded bird, your body still bearing the marks of what he had done. Jack let out a sharp exhale, rubbing a hand over his jaw as he shook his head. 

“Fucking dickhead.” His voice was tight, filled with barely restrained anger. Layla swallowed hard, her gaze flickering to you immediately, her hand reaching out, rubbing your arm in silent comfort. Trent stayed quiet, his chest rising and falling beneath you in deep, controlled breaths. You knew him well enough to know what that meant—he was pissed, trying his hardest to keep himself calm for you. His fingers brushed the side of your arm, tracing slow, deliberate circles over your skin, his way of reminding you he was here. You took in a shaky breath, pressing your face further into his chest, as if you could disappear into him entirely. His warmth, his strength, his love—it was the only thing keeping you from unraveling completely.

“Fuck ‘em honest. He can’t hurt you anymore, baby.” Trent murmured so quietly only you could hear it, his voice thick with emotion. “Never again.” And even though the sadness still clung to you like a second skin, you believed him. Because as long as you were in his arms, as long as he held you this tightly, you knew you were safe.

A while later, Jack strolled into the kitchen, rubbing his face tiredly as he made his way to the fridge. Layla was already there, quietly making tea for you. He didn’t say anything at first, just watched as she moved around, carefully pouring the hot water into a mug.

“I'm glad you came over, Lays. She hadn’t been talking much, so this has been good,” Jack finally said, stepping up beside her. His voice was gentle, as if he knew she was holding onto something fragile. Layla turned her head slightly, and Jack caught the way her eyes filled with tears. She blinked quickly, as if willing them away, but they were there—threatening to spill over.

“I needed to see her, Jack,” she murmured. “That was so scary.” Layla admitted. Jack sighed, leaning back against the counter. 

“Yeah, was a lot.” He ran a hand over his jaw before glancing at her again. “You okay?” He asked. Layla hesitated before exhaling, stirring the tea absently. 

“Yeah… I just…” She trailed off for a moment, her voice quiet. “Honestly, I never knew it was so bad. And even then, I didn’t think anything like that would happen.” She earnestly told him. Jack nodded slowly, his expression darkening. 

“Neither. I can’t wrap my head around it.” He shifted, standing up straighter as he reached for two more mugs. “I’m sorry we didn’t check on you last night, though.” He set them down beside her, his voice laced with sincerity. Layla glanced at him with a small, appreciative smile. 

“Jack, there was a lot going on,” she reassured him, her tone understanding. She turned back to the tea, adding sugar and a splash of milk. “I was fine. Noah took care of me.” Jack stilled. His eyebrows shot up as a slow smirk spread across his face.

“Did he?” He smugly responded too fast. Layla hummed in response, not picking up on his inflection, oblivious at first. 

“Yeah?” She turned toward him just as the tea bags steeped. Jack didn’t say anything at first—just gave her a look. Layla blinked. Then it hit her. “Oh my days—No! Jack! Stop!” She yelped, half-groaning, half-laughing as she shoved his arm. The smile on her face betrayed her, though. No was not the time for Layla to spill anything. Jack held his hands up in mock innocence, grinning. 

“I’ve said absolutely nothing here, Lays. You’re the one reading into things…” He let the sentence hang, watching her squirm, “Unless…” His smirk deepened. “Is there something I should be reading into?” Layla gasped dramatically, pointing at the door. 

“No. No. Just go away. We can’t be best friends anymore. This won’t work. I need Y/N back from T” She teased. Jack cackled, reaching for his drink. 

“Yeah, yeah, keep deflecting.” He joked. Layla rolled her eyes, but the blush creeping up her neck said more than words ever could.

“You alright?” Megan’s soft voice rang through the entryway as Jack let her inside, her arms full of bags. Her presence another addition to the arsenal of people supporting you. Not asked, but offering.

“Yeah, we’re alright,” Jack murmured, his eyes softening the moment he saw her. He reached for her, pulling her into a warm embrace. “You look beautiful, my Meg.” His voice was low, affectionate, as he pressed a lingering kiss to her cheek. Megan sighed into the moment before pulling back with a small smile. 

“Brought her some things.” She held up one of the bags and a bouquet of delicate flowers. “Just gonna put these in her room. Don’t need to make a big deal out of it or anything. But I also brought some food and all sorts of things.” She let out a quiet giggle, trying to lighten the air. Jack, however, didn’t let her slip away just yet. His lips unconsciously pouted, his heart swelling at her thoughtfulness. He pulled her into another embrace, tighter this time, his chin resting on the top of her head.

“Thank you,” he murmured. “Just chilling today, but I’m glad you’re here.” He took the bags from her, one hand still clasping hers as he kissed her temple. They began walking further into the house, but before they could step fully into the living room, Megan hesitated. Her fingers curled around his, pulling him back gently. Jack turned to her with a questioning look, but her gaze was cast downward. He felt the tension in her shoulders before she even spoke.

“Jack… I… I’m so sorry,” Megan whispered, her voice unsteady.  “I feel so at fault.” Jack’s brows furrowed. 

“Meg…” His voice was careful. “This is no one but Josh’s fault.” Jack explained.  

“I know… I know.” She exhaled shakily, wringing her hands together. “But it’s also…” She hesitated, her throat tightening, as if saying the name would make it more real. “Jess's” The name came out barely above a breath. “I’m sorry.” Jack’s jaw clenched at the mention of her. The weight of it all was still settling, but Megan’s guilt? He wouldn’t have that.

“Hey, my Meg…” His voice softened, and he stepped closer, cupping her cheek so she would look at him. “You’re not her, are ya?” Megan shook her head quickly, a quiet sniffle escaping her lips. Jack brushed his thumb over her cheek, leaning down to rest his forehead against hers for a moment. “Then don’t take this on. Not for a second.” His voice was gentle but firm, the conviction in his words wrapping around her like a safety net. Megan let out a shaky breath, nodding slightly. Jack pressed another kiss to her temple, lingering there for just a second longer. “You’re good, Meg. And you’re here. That’s what matters.”

They walked into the kitchen together, Megan placing the flowers down carefully before slowly unpacking the bags she had brought. The rustle of paper and plastic filled the quiet space as she moved around the kitchen island with ease, knowing exactly where everything belonged. Jack, perched on a stool, watched her with a lazy smile, his chin resting in his palm. Without looking up admist her swift movements, Megan reached out and pinched his side.

“Aye!” Jack yelped, jolting upright with a cheeky grin. Megan giggled, her eyes twinkling as she opened a bag of Percy Pigs she’d brought over, popping one into her mouth before turning to him with another between her fingers. She stepped closer, pushing it toward his lips. Jack caught her wrist gently, holding it still. Instead of just taking the sweet, he pulled her hand closer, slipping the gummy into his mouth while keeping his eyes locked on hers. And before she could react, he kissed her fingers softly. Megan let out a breathy giggle, her cheeks heating under his touch. Jack smirked at her, but the lightheartedness of the moment only distracted him for a second. If he was honest with himself, there was a part of him that was scared—scared of letting another woman into his life, one that wasn’t you or, more frankly, your mum. He had spent so long keeping people at a distance, afraid of the hurt that came when they left. A linger aftereffect of the pain of loosing your mum. He knew you wouldn’t leave. But seeing you hurt, seeing what Josh had done to you, had shaken him more than he ever thought possible. And right now, watching Megan show up—not just for you, but for him—when he never even asked, terrified him. Yet, it also meant everything.

"Meg?" Jack's voice was quieter now, almost hesitant. She turned back to him, and he reached out, gently pulling her between his legs as he sat on the stool. His hands found her waist instinctively, his thumbs grazing her sides in slow, soothing strokes.

"You okay?" she asked, offering him a sad smile. Jack exhaled, his fingers flexing slightly against her hips. 

"I just... you know I care about you." Megan nodded without hesitation. "And you know I love you." His voice was steady, but there was something deeper behind it— something vulnerable. Megan swallowed, her breath catching in her throat. He had told her before, but it had been in fleeting moments, in passing, when emotions were high. She had never been fully sure if he meant it in the quiet, in the stillness. 

"And you're sure about that?" she whispered. Jack didn't even blink. 

"More sure than l've ever been about anything." He rescinded immediately. Megan's lips parted slightly, her heart thudding in her chest. "It's been a little mad lately," Jack continued, his thumbs still running absentminded circles against her, grounding himself in the feeling of her beneath his hands. "And I just wanted you to know I want you." He paused, searching her eyes. "And I'd want you to maybe be my girlfriend when it's mad and..." His voice softened, "even when it's not."

"Jack..." Megan whimpered, emotion pooling in her chest, threatening to spill over. Her hands ran over his chest, feeling the warmth of him beneath her palms. "I can be yours, always. Mad or not." She giggled nervously, biting her lip. Jack smiled, but there was something cautious behind it. He tilted his head slightly, exhaling before murmuring, 

"It's just... once you're here, you're here for me, you know?" The weight of what he was saying lingered between them. His fear of being left coming in with a force.  She hummed in understanding, her fingers curling into his hoodie. 

"Okay," she said simply, her voice steady. "And I'm here." Jack closed his eyes for a moment, like he was letting it sink in. 

"Thank you for understanding." He whispered.  Megan smiled up at him. 

"So... am I your girlfriend, Jacky?" she teased, her voice light but full of meaning. Jack huffed out a bashful laugh, rolling his head to the side for a second before standing up, wrapping her in his arms, and pulling her against his chest. He hummed, swaying her back and forth in his embrace, his lips pressing into her hair.

"Yeah," he whispered with a happy chuckle. "My Meg."

In the days following, Trent’s arms wrapped snugly around your waist as he stood behind you, his chin resting lightly on your shoulder. His warm brown eyes met yours in the mirror, filled with soft adoration.

“What do you think about getting out with me today, baby?” Trent asked sweetly, his voice low and coaxing.

“Out?” You pouted, barely entertaining the idea. The comfort of being wrapped up with him felt too good to leave behind.

“Pleaase.” He grinned, pressing soft, rapid kisses along your cheek, one after the other, until you finally gave in with a quiet giggle. “C’mon, pretty girl,” he murmured against your skin. “For me? Please let me take the most beautiful girl in the world to go get some…” He trailed off, his eyes flickering back to yours in the mirror, waiting for you to fill in the blank. 

“Coffee?” You sighed playfully before mumbling. Trent nodded immediately, kissing your cheek again. 

“Yeah, baby. Whatever you want.” He told you. You hesitated for a moment.

“Can I shower first?” You asked softly. A small, sad smile tugged at your lips. Trent’s smirk was slow and teasing as he met your gaze in the reflection. 

“Can I…?” His tone was full of mischief, his hands tightening slightly on your waist. You giggled, nodding as he pulled you back against his chest, wrapping his arms tighter around you. His lips brushed your neck, lingering with playful kisses. “C’mere, baby,” he murmured, making it clear that, coffee or not, he had no intention of letting you go just yet.

The steam curled around you both as Trent guided you gently into the ensuite, his hands never leaving your skin. He undressed you slowly, his fingertips trailing over every inch of you as if he were handling something delicate, something sacred. The soft hum of the shower filled the air as he turned on the water, and the moment the warmth hit your skin, it felt like the weight of the past few days was being washed away. The hot water cascaded down your bodies, you found yourself drawn to him, your hands reaching out to trace the contours of his golden skin. Trent's muscular frame glistened with moisture, his tanned skin a stark contrast to the tiles surrounding you. You couldn't resist him; your fingers itched to explore every inch of his body. Trent pressed his lips to your forehead, lingering there for a beat before his kisses trailed down your temple, along your jaw, and finally to your neck. His touch was tender, reverent, but even still, you could feel the tension in his body, the restraint he was forcing himself to hold. Your hands moved over him, tracing the planes of his skin, desperate to pull him closer. He shivered under your touch, his body responding instinctively even as his mind told him to slow down. You pressed yourself into him, tilting your head to kiss his neck, your hands gripping at his back, his shoulders, his waist—anywhere you could reach. You needed to feel him, to remind yourself that you were safe, wanted, that you were his, that he was yours. Trent let out a breath, hesitating for just a moment before his hands found your waist, holding you gently but firmly. 

"Nah, baby, please," he murmured against your ear, kissing just behind it. His voice was hoarse, filled with longing, but there was something else there too-concern. "Maybe let's slow down, yeah?" But you didn't want slow. You wanted to feel. You wanted to drown in him. Leaning forward, you grabbed his shoulders, pulling him closer. Your lips sought his neck, kissing and sucking gently, leaving a trail of wetness on his warm skin. He tasted like the essence of desire, and you craved more. Your hands roamed over his broad back, feeling his muscles beneath your fingertips.

"T, I need you," you whispered, your voice hoarse with need. "I just want to feel how much you love me again." you whispered, your voice desperate as you began to sink to your knees in front of him.

"Nah, nah, stop, baby," Trent's voice was firm as his hands cupped your face, guiding you back up. His deep brown eyes searched yours, his thumbs stroking gently over your wet cheeks. You tried your hardest to not be offended but he spoke again before your thoughts could spiral that far. "You promise you want to feel how much I love you... like this?" His voice was thick, serious, grounding. Your breath caught, and you nodded, biting down on your bottom lip. The heat between you was unmistakable, and the ache in your core had nothing to do with the warm water cascading around you. Trent exhaled slowly, letting his hands glide down your back, feeling the softness of your skin beneath his fingertips. "Alright," he murmured, his touch sending a shiver through you. "But you know this is because I love who you are, yeah?" His voice was low, a whisper meant just for you.

"Yeah," you whined, your hands grasping at him, needing him closer, needing him to erase everything but this moment. And then, finally, Trent gave in, pulling you into him like you were the only thing keeping him upright.  You felt your heart beat harder hearing him. You gasped, silently, your voice breathless. The warmth of the water mixed with the heat of Trent's body as he pressed you against the cool tile. His hands roamed your body with purpose, his lips leaving a slow, lingering trail of kisses down your neck. 

"Cause I love you," he murmured, voice thick with emotion. "And I love this body. I love everything inside of it." His words were spoken like a vow, his hands moved to greedily palm your ass, pulling you closer into him. 

"And you like my ass too?" you teased, relishing in the feeling of his hands of you, tilting your head back as his lips grazed over your collarbone. Trent pulled away just enough to meet your eyes, his grin lazy and full of adoration. 

"Absolutely. Like nothing else. Love every inch of you." You let out a breathy laugh between the pleasure, feeling light despite the intensity between you.  Before you could respond, he bent slightly, his strong arms scooping you up effortlessly, hands gripping under your thighs as he pressed you against the cold tiled wall more. Your breath hitched, arms wrapping around his shoulders as your body instinctively molded into his– The contrast of the cold surface against your heated skin sent shivers down your spine. Trent's lips found your neck, his kisses hot and demanding. His hands roamed over your tits, squeezing and kneading, making you arch into his touch. "You're so fucking beautiful," he growled, his voice filled with admiration. "Every fucking inch of you." Your core clenched at his words, the pleasure intensifying with each caress. Trent's fingers found your wetness, stroking and teasing, making you gasp and squirm against him. He was smooth, moving to stroke his cock some before aligning it with your core. Then, with one swift thrust, he filled you completely, his cock sliding deep within your hot, wet core. You cried out, the sensation overwhelming as he stretched and filled you. Trent's hands gripped your thighs again, holding you steady as he began to move, his hips snapping forward with each powerful thrust.

"I love you, T," you whimpered, your voice breathless. His movements were slow at first, deliberate, his forehead resting against yours as he whispered, 'I love you,' 'I love you,' like a prayer against your lips. Every thrust, every touch, was filled with something deeper than just desire. It was devotion, a need to remind you how much he worshipped you, how much he needed you just as much as you needed him.

"Fuck, you feel so good," he grunted, his breath hot against your ear. "So tight and wet for me." You clung to his shoulders, your nails digging into his skin as he pounded into you. The water continued to rain down, mixing with your sweat, making your bodies slick and glistening. Trent's eyes never left yours, holding you captive in an intense gaze as he fucked you with abandon. His love for you was evident in every stroke, every touch, and every kiss.

"You're everything l've ever wanted," you whined, voice breaking as the emotions overwhelmed you. The pleasure built alongside the flood of emotions, your chest heaving as you clung to him. Trent's grip on you tightened, adjusting one hand holding your thigh securely around his waist so the other could slid up, cupping your jaw, tilting your face, making your eyes met his. Your eyes had filled with tears. 

"I'm here with you. Tell me you're here with me, baby," he rasped, his own voice thick with emotion, his dark eyes searching yours.  You nodded, unable to speak, your emotions raw and exposed. He held your face in his hands, forcing you to look into his eyes, the deep brown pools reflecting the love and desire you felt. "You know I’m here?" he asked, his voice filled with concern and adoration. You managed a weak nod again, unable to find the words to express the depth of your feelings. Trent understood, his eyes softening as he held you close. "YN," he called your name, his voice filled with emotion. He held you tightly, his strong arms supporting your weight. Your heart was pounding, and you could feel the tears stinging your eyes. It was an overwhelming mix of emotions—love, passion, and a deep connection that left you breathless. Trent's lips found yours, kissing you softly, gently wiping away the tears that had begun to fall. "I'm here, baby," he whispered against your mouth. "I'm right here with you." The intensity was too much. The way he was looking at you like you were his entire world, the way he was holding you like you were something to be cherished-it broke something open inside you. Tears streamed down your cheeks causing Trent to still, concern flickering across his face. 

"No, baby. Please. Don't stop," you gasped, voice trembling. "I need you." His brows furrowed for just a second before he nodded, his hold on you tightening like he wanted to fuse you to him.

"Okay," he murmured, his lips pressing a soft, lingering kiss to your wet cheek. "You've got me." Then he moved again, slow and deep, his forehead pressing against yours, groaning into your skin as he gave himself to you completely. And in that moment, it wasn't just about making love-it was about healing, about holding onto each other in a way that nothing else in the world could touch. As the water continued to wash over you, you realized that this moment was more than just physical pleasure. It was a testament to the powerful bond you had with him. Trent's love for you was evident in every touch, every kiss, and every whispered word. And in that steamy shower, with his strong arms holding you, you knew that you had found something special, something that went beyond mere physical attraction. And so he drove into you again, hitting all the right spots, your climax building. Your body trembled, and your breath came in short gasps. Trent's pace quickened, his thrusts becoming more urgent. "Cum for me, baby," he urged, his voice hoarse. "Let me feel you cum for me. Look so beautiful when you cum f'me." His words were like a trigger, sending you over the edge. You cried out his name as your orgasm washed over you in waves of pleasure. Your inner walls clenched around his shaft, milking him as your body shook. Trent's own release followed, his cock throbbing as he emptied himself deep within you. 

The steam curled around you both, the water cascading down your entwined bodies as you remained wrapped in each other's arms. The remnants of passion, of pain, of everything that had come before, swirled down the drain, disappearing as if they had never existed. It felt baptismal in a way-not in religion, but in renewal. The past, the bruises, the weight of men like Josh, washed away, leaving behind something untouched, something whole. And that something was Trent. It was you, with him. Trent held you close, his breath warm against your temple, his hands steady and grounding against your back. Neither of you spoke for a long moment, just existing in the aftermath, feeling each other's hearts still pounding in sync.

When he finally moved, it was with a gentleness that sent another kind of shiver through you. His strong arms lowered you carefully onto the cool tiles, his hands never leaving your waist, like he was afraid you might slip away from him. His eyes roamed your body, lingering over your damp, glistening skin. His gaze caught on the bruises, the faint scrape marring your décolletage, the reminder of Josh's cruel grip, of the necklace he had torn away. The sight of it made something flicker in Trent's expression-an ache, a silent fury, a desperation to undo what had already been done. Without a word, he dropped his head, his face level with the tender marks. He didn't say anything, but you felt everything in the way he pressed his lips to the bruises, the scrape, the places that hurt. His kisses were reverent, delicate, as though his lips could will the pain away, as though he could rewrite the past with every press of his mouth. He nuzzled his face against your skin, his breath shaky, his hands gripping your hips like he needed to hold onto you just as much as you needed to be held. He took a deep breath, attempting to reign in his own emotions.

"I hate that he hurt you," he murmured, voice thick with something unspoken. "Hate that I wasn't there to stop it." Your fingers slid into his wet curls, tugging gently, grounding him. 

"You came though.” You whispered ,feeling a lump form in your throat making it hard to speak. “And you're here now," you sniffled, feeling the tears come back with force again. He exhaled against your skin, pressing one last lingering kiss over your heart before looking up at you. His eyes were warm, filled with devotion, and something deeper-something unshakable.

"Yeah," he whispered, gripping you tighter. "And I'm never letting go."

•

Thank you for reading! Please like, comment, or message what you think of the chapter or of what's to come!

Next part - Chapter 29 - Silver Linings xx

[aziraphales-library]

hello good people who guard this library ✨✨

thank you for your work, it has helped me find many fics I love that I'd probably never find on my own

I recently read a fic called rude awakening:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19243762

where some people from the discreet gentlemen's club are trying to figure out what the deal is with Aziraphale, and some of them even try flirting with him, until Crowley shows up and they realise "oh, he's taken"

I know my request is extremely specific but, do you know if there's any similar fics of people flirting with either Aziraphale or Crowley until the other one shows up and they realise they never stood a chance

Hi! Here are a few fics sort of along these lines...

nothing can get a look in on my baby by midnightdragons (T)

Aziraphale stood, then (using a miracle to ensure that his and Crowley’s table remained open and clean), and turned back towards the demon, slightly distracted as he made sure to disappear from Mr. Brown’s sight with a brief sigh of relief — a sigh that was quickly cut off as he was greeted with something much worse than the posh, stuffy carpet-store owner. Crowley was leaning against the bar counter, slightly slanted in his position as he craned away from a man who was much, much too close to him, enough that the demon would’ve been able to feel the heat of his breath on his face. 

An alternate scene of sorts. Aziraphale is the one to rescue Crowley from someone at the bar, with just a touch of angelic possessiveness; after all, no one hurts his demon.

Just be yourself by Mimisempai (G)

Aziraphale gets the impression that Crowley enjoyed their last visit to the pub and suggests that they return one night. What he didn't expect was that this time the situation would be reversed, and someone would take his place in front of Crowley, and he would feel this all-consuming jealousy...

Saturday Night in Soho by Zeckarin (T)

Kait simply wants to have a few drinks, and hopefully get lucky and bring someone home. There's a cute man with pale hair reading in the corner booth. What could go wrong?

A Devil's Touch by untimelysteph (T)

“Why did it bother you, angel?” Crowley asked with as much gentleness as he could muster so he didn't spook him. Aziraphale looked ready to bolt out of the shop at any moment. “Because, well, because, he didn’t ask, first of all, and no one should touch you without your express permission. And, for that matter, he isn’t worthy of touching you. No one is.” The angel was properly worked up now, his hands flailing animatedly as he continued, “That is to say, well, that I suppose I’m just not used to seeing you being touched like that. By… by other people. That, um, are not me.”

Just Kidding…..Unless? by Aziwaphale (T)

Crowley wasn't jealous that Aziraphale was getting hit on by that barista. And he certainly wasn't jealous when he found them talking at the bookstore. So why did he pretend that he was dating Aziraphale just to make him go away?

Trivial Pursuits by gildthelilli (T)

“Here’s some Wilde for you,” said Josh, sliding his hand upwards. “The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.”...Josh’s hand was at the crease of Aziraphale’s thigh. It gave a rough squeeze. Oh. Oh no. “No, really, I’m flattered, but I don’t -“ Aziraphale was starting to get desperate. Some excuse. Anything to shake this human off. His heart was beating fast, his hands began to tremble. “I think you do,” leered Josh. “Look at you. Don’t resist, Zira. Resist it, and your soul grows sick with longing for the things it has forbidden to itself.” “Joshua, I am not interested, you insufferable man…” Aziraphale trailed off as he looked around, frantic now. He looked to the bar, where a man – or something man-shaped in tight black pants - was pocketing his wallet and grabbing the bottle of scotch from the counter. Aziraphale swallowed, watching as Crowley began to make his way back over to the table. “I have a boyfriend,” blurted Aziraphale. ---- Aziraphale and Crowley go drinking at pub trivia when a man from another team takes an interest in Aziraphale. Crowley is not impressed. Shenanigans ensue.

And the one you mentioned...

Rude Awakening by Nonesensed (M)

Crowley disappears for close to a century and then comes sauntering back into Aziraphale's life, nearly bringing about a riot as he does. Aziraphale is suitably miffed.

- Mod D

[betterwithbooksthanwithpeople]

things that stuck out to me in The Outsiders musical at my third show (4/24/25 evening):

probably unneeded disclaimer that this is just random stuff my brain hooked onto from my standing room partial view spot - some of this might happen every time but I saw it differently with a different actor or just forgot about it since I last saw the show nine weeks ago

-Anna Ace I love you and I'm so happy to see you again, flipping people off and throwing a ton of gravel right in the first song of the show

-also someone (maybe Ace, maybe Two Bit?) threw SO much gravel at Marcia during Tulsa '67 that she visibly tried to duck out of the way

-right before the socs jump Ponyboy and Bob is throwing the football to all the guys, he looks at Paul and Dan fully went 🙂↔️🙂↔️ like "do NOT toss me that football" hahaha

-Dos Bit speaking Spanish when Dally asks if he has his grease

-Victor Soda, Henry Two Bit, and Anna Ace are a dangerous trio if you fear inappropriate dancing and that’s all imma say about Grease Got a Hold lollll

-actually I lied because during Darry's verse in that song after Ponyboy is like "what?" and tries to walk away Darry stopped him like always but also kind of hugged him into his side and kissed his head before letting him go back to the group? ugh brothers of all time. just wants to protect his baby for real

-Brent did some kind of different riff on “home” in Runs in the Family and it was beautiful

-give it up for Victor's comedic timing and just stage presence in general; the whole scene of Soda and Ponyboy talking on the bed before Great Expectations was immaculate

-hey Marbit shippers, Henry Two Bit fully put his hand under Marcia’s chin during Friday at the Drive In and she laughed and kind of reluctantly turned her head. Then as soon as they made eye contact again during the dance break he blew her a kiss

-Ace yelled “your dancing sucks!” during the drive in dance break like the absolute legend she is

-Alex Dally does the whole bit at the drive in with Cherry very differently but I don't know exactly how to describe it. he's kind of quieter and more playful somehow - lots of teasing/ mocking the others - which makes him seem younger than how some others play Dally

-Daryl Johnny and Josh Ponyboy at the drive in, you will always be famous. just the goofiest little guys just the bestest of friends

-During Darry’s talking part in Runs in the Family Reprise, Victor Soda was going “easy, easy, easy” meanwhile Josh Pony was full screaming his lines at Darry

-ok so someone in the audience was so shook by The Slap that they said “oh my god” but it was totally silent at that moment so everyone heard and laughed and pretty sure this is why Josh skipped the line “Darrel never hit me before”

-Far Away from Tulsa harmonies and opts were AMAZING dare I say best I’ve ever heard? Josh and Daryl doing the most for REAL

-yall the spit was visible from the back of the theater today Josh really did the most there too eww

-not Brent Comer making me almost cry about Darrel Curtis in a scene that he's barely in because why did he look SO shocked and SO scared hearing the news from Two Bit during Run Run Brother

-everything about Alex Dally is so interesting to me yall. the way he seemed so resigned to being arrested and so carefree with his answers to the cop like in a "you're not gonna believe me so why bother" type way? he gets it so badly

-also this is just something i did differently but i finally watched Ponyboy and Johnny extra close to see them "cut/dye" Pony's hair and how does it look! so! cool!

-someone's vocals were eating down in Justice for Tulsa. pretty sure it was SarahGrace but maybe it was Hailey from the booth

-I'm going to say this for every one of their songs but Daryl and Josh's voices go SO good together that I wish I had a recording of their Death's at My Door

-speaking of songs I need a recording of, Throwing in the Towel?! Brent is always amazing (plus just looked SO distressed gosh) and Victor was killing itttt. the way I could have listened to them just sing that on a loop for hours

-thank you Daryl Tofa for consistently feeding the qpr truthers by literally laying in Ponyboy's lap in the church every time you play Johnny Cade

-do Pony and Johnny always pinky promise after talking about who Ponyboy's hair makes him look like? they should if they don't it was adorable

-tiniest bit of Ace and Darry siblingism at the beginning of Hoods Turned Heroes - Darry was laying back on the car and Ace was sitting against his legs

-will never get over how Brent Comer gets Darry so badly. the way he snatches the newspaper and is so relieved to hear his baby brother's okay that he joins the greaser's little dance and almost smiles but has to read the article again like he can't believe it

-Emma Pittman Hopeless War = vocals. also Cherry really seemed to be pleading with Ponyboy not to fight like she was so desperate to stop it she was crying

-pretty sure Cole fell accidentally during the rumble because he slid way off to the side almost into the wings lol. they really turned that rain on it was pouring

-Darry picking up Ponyboy and spinning him around after the rumble is so. that's his baby guys

-also when they all run in to tell Johnny they won the rumble does someone always say "Darrel even fought with us!" because. ough.

-maybe this isn't entirely factual but I feel like more people tried to comfort Dally after Johnny's death - like almost every greaser said something to him or tried to get closer to him, especially Darry

-Alex's Little Brother is jaw droppingly good. I didn't even cry at that part, just stood there with my mouth hanging open

-however, try not to cry while Josh Ponyboy is sobbing through his monologue after Little Brother? impossible I fear

-Curtis brothers ending scenes so perfect I want to watch them over and over and over. Brent always hits the mark exactly and I was so blown away by Victor and Josh today yall

-why is the very ending of the show when the lights are going down but the sunset background is still lit and everyone is in silhouette the prettiest thing I've ever seen

-stage door party for real: Emma, Victor, Brent, Henry, Daryl, Josh, Alex, SarahGrace, Melody, and Devin all came out

-Henry asked if I had fun and I went "yeah, and it looked like you had fun" and he goes "oh yeah, it's just complete silliness the whole time I'm on stage" lol

-also not Devin asking if we've met before and me having to be like "well I've seen the show three times now but this is the first time you've been here" haha

if you actually read all this, hi. ask me about it and maybe I'll remember more or at least explain better because this has gotten long and made less and less sense I fear

[mikefaistinfo]

Mike in the Q&A with Zendaya and Josh O'Connor for Amazon MGM Studios Guilds

Interviewer: [...] I love that you say that because I was just going to say to Mike is there's a lot of little moments that all of your characters get that I think tell a deeper truth about who they are. I actually think of the moment towards the end when Patrick is looking at the woman's breakfast sandwich and like is actually going to take it. Like, I'm like, this is who you are. I would die of the embarrassment that I even looked at this woman's sandwich, let alone had the audacity to eat it. And I was going to ask you, Mike, if you had a little moment that you felt was really illustrative of who Art is, that maybe the audience and again, those internal motivations that are not maybe in the dialogue, but tell a lot about who he is as a person and maybe what motivates him in this story.

Mike: Yeah, that's a very good question. There is one moment that jumps out to me in particular. And again, piggybacking off what Josh said, it is the, these conversations that we were very fortunate to have with Luca and each other all throughout that rehearsal process. And one of the things that was discussed about Art was this idea, you know, Patrick's character is much more, I think brazen, a little much more relaxed, much more calm about life in general, and Art's character is maybe a little bit more controlled, particular, very neat, very organized, trying to really make sure that things are correct. And within that, there's this this scene at the party and we're watching Tashi dance on the dance floor. And then we have a conversation with her and she leaves and we decide to stay and wait for her. And so Josh, Patrick, and Art. We're just sitting on the couch and and there's this dessert that was presented to us and it had it was like some sort of cake and it had an icing on top of it. And there was strawberries on top of the cake. And I remember thinking Art would love to eat the cake. They probably won't eat the cake. That's not the right thing to do. So I guess we'll have the strawberry. But then, the strawberry has icing on it, so he has to scrape the icing off of the strawberry. While he's eating and I remember doing that and that felt as if that, that probably was the correct choice, and I think it's in the movie. I don't know if it made it (Zendaya: it is! Mike: it is? Zendaya: it is!) it felt right (Zendaya: but it is) and it felt very indicative as to who this person was in terms of, you know, the decision to eat the cake or not eat the cake is its own thing and the consequences of that. Well, I guess. Yes. You know.

Interviewer: [...] I want to bring it to you, Mike. Because I feel like with Art, there's much more to find things. Yeah, starts off is very flirty and a little bit unsure. Then it becomes focused, and my favorite moment is right after the sign-in at the tennis match, when he hits that ball back at Patrick, we see basically the ice turn into fire. And that is like the biggest emotional shift we see from the character from that moment on and all of the stuff that comes after that has to be told through tennis. I'm curious, what was in the script? What were you trying to basically say in addition to those tennis moves that y'all are doing in that final climactic moment? There's a lot of emotion coming out from Art, like more so than you maybe even seen from him in earlier moments. I'd love for you to talk a little bit about that climax. And then I want to come to you, Josh, about how you were on the other side of that, because you essentially popped open all that emotion. So Mike, yeah.

Mike: Well, it's interesting because I think that was actually, it wasn't planned. Um, that moment, it was something that was felt, um, sorry, there, there's no way to articulate that other than, you know, I think there are these strange things that happen. Um, and they're kind of unexplainable where, you know, you, you do all of this prep work, you do as much thought as you can. Um, with the material that you're given, the conversations that you have with the creatives, the wardrobe that is, you know, built for you. And then at the end of the day, you're placed in that situation and you have to allow the character to kind of come forth and decide for themselves what is appropriate in that situation. And, and I remember that day very distinctly. Because we had been, we had been shooting, um, uh, that tennis, uh, see all those tennis sequences going back to that, um, for two or three weeks. Um, and, um, we did shoot that section of it towards the end of those two to three weeks. So there was this kind of natural progression leading up to that climactic moment that you're talking about. And, and, and that particular moment. Um, it just felt as if that this thing was coming out of me and it felt like Art was taking over-is the truth of the matter.

Um, and it's one of those, you know, unexplainable events where, like I said, you do this work, you do as much prep and thought as possible. And then you let these things kind of take over and let them go. And, and that felt also correct in the sense, for our characters, well with this person that does work so terribly hard in terms of making the right choice, and stepping in the right place, and doing the right thing in order to get to those places and here's with the situation where truly the game that is playing... if you were look at his career it really doesn't matter, however in this moment, you know because of the dramatic, the dramaticniss of the story that we're telling is the most important thing

And in this moment as well, he is letting go of all of that, which I think is, which I think is the thing that both Art and Tashi are trying to get out of him as not just a tennis player, but also a person. And it did feel as if when we, when I, I remember just reading the actual tennis sequence itself and the way that it had come across to me off of the page was, oh, now everybody has fallen back in love with not just each other, but the game and why they are doing it in the first place. And so that release of that tension that Art allows himself kind of allows everybody to let go of it all and just let go. I'm not being very articulate, unfortunately, with this, but I think it was just one of these things that naturally, that tension and buildup is kind of placed into Art's hands. And he has the decision as to how he's going to let both Tashi and Patrick kind of feel about it. And the choice that he makes is to actually kind of come into himself and let go of all of that and choose to engage with it.

[voldsoys]

i wanna hear about serial killer tyler…

hes so weird and off putting and fucked up and I wanna learn more about him. hes sat in my head rent free since i read the fic and id love to hear your other thoughts about him (if you want to share-)

oh boy, anon. this is a dangerous thing to ask. you wanna know more about my boy, eh? i apologize in advance if this gets long-winded. i have a lot of thoughts about this guy.

in case anyone is confused, serialkiller! tyler is from my fic it's getting dark and the highway's clear on ao3.

THERE WILL BE SPOILERS BELOW IF YOU HAVEN'T READ IT AND WOULD LIKE TO.

here is the pinterest board that i used for inspo while i was writing.

🖤 to start, just for fun, this is tyler in my head.

🖤 tyler's body is so incredibly emaciated and thin, his bones protrude and he's constantly covered in bruises and cuts, both self-inflicted and otherwise. he eats, sure, but it's never anything nutritious and even then, most of his food he ends up giving to rosie. (she loves turkey, you know! she's a good girl.) he struggles to walk, he struggles to run, if anyone were to hug him, it would hurt and they'd be able to feel every bone in his body. it's a miracle, if you could even call it that, that he's alive and functioning.

🖤 tyler keeps a box full of polaroid photos of his previous victims. i never included a scene of him taking a photo of josh, because i think, in his head, tyler never really considered josh a victim. he wasn't sure, until that final moment on the couch, with his head spinning and the smell of everything he ever wanted hitting him square in the face, where any of it was even going to end up. i don't think he wanted to kill josh, i think he wanted to consume josh. and not just physically. josh was doomed before he even realized it, and tyler was going to take everything inside of him and make it his own.

🖤 tyler considered very heavily the possibility that josh was never real in the first place. i tried to subtly hint at the theme of not knowing what reality was... and that's the thing about an unreliable narrator, isn't it? what can you even trust? is any of this even happening? is it all in his head? no, surely not... right? smoke a cigarette tyler, it'll all make sense.

🖤 speaking of, as im sure you can recall, tyler has a severe smoking addiction. i never explained why, but he smokes to keep himself grounded. along with the general comfort he gets from the nicotine, he smokes to ensure himself that he's alive, if he can feel the relief of the drugs in his lungs, then he'll know he hasn't fallen asleep and forgotten to wake up. can you blame him for smoking two at a time after his, uh.. encounter with josh?

🖤 tyler has a very strict and very intense set of rules he follows for himself when it comes to choosing, abducting, holding, and disposing of victims. he documents everything, every flaw, every success. he takes photos, recordings, and keeps mementos. he doesn't do this however, to remember or to honor his victims, he keeps them as reminder to himself that he knows what works. he knows exactly what to do, exactly which steps to follow to get it right every time. that's why with josh, when immediately things start going off-track, it completely knocks him on his ass.

🖤 tyler, my beloved baby boy, is nothing short of a fucking idiot. while i mean that with all the love in my heart, you'd be very foolish to underestimate him. he knows what he's doing. he knows the best possible move in every situation. he knows. shh... can you hear that?

[callmebrycelee]

9-1-1 REACTION

This week’s episode marks the 100th episode for 9-1-1 and it is a total banger! I figured nothing could get better than Bobby and Athena trapped inside an upside-down cruise ship, but this week’s episode walked up to the bar and said, “hold my beer”. If you’re reading this, you know exactly why this episode is truly *that girl* and I promise you we’re gonna talk about those last 4 minutes and 23 seconds that had us collectively clutching our pearls, pillows, and pets and left us with nary a hair on our scalps. We’ve got a lot of ground to cover so let’s not waste another second. This reaction is for the season 7, fourth episode “Buck, Bothered and Bewildered” which originally aired April 4, 2024. The episode was written by Andrew Meyers and Bradley Michael Marques and directed by actor turned directed Chad Lowe. Spoilers ahead!

“She has anthrax! Or glitter.” – Bachelor Producer, to everyone

We start things off at the Bachelor mansion where we see real-life runner up of season 20 of The Bachelorette and star of season 28 of The Bachelor, Joey Graziadei. I have never seen an episode of The Bachelor, but I have watched the first two seasons of VH1’s Flavor of Love so I’m quite familiar with the concept of a bunch of women competing for the affections of one man. The opening to this episode does a great job of parodying the hit ABC dating and relationship reality television series while also being respectful. After all, the show and it’s many spin-offs are beloved by many, including 9-1-1 viewers. 

We see a handful of hopeful contestants pull up to the mansion in limos, each of them providing a cheesy introduction very reminiscent of RuPaul’s Drag Race and the Real Housewives. I love that two of the contestants are named Ashley because of course there would be two Ashleys cast in the same season of a show like this. My favorite contestant, however, is Ashley A., a flight attendant who looks like she just stepped out of the one-season wonder Pan Am starring Christina Ricci, a pre-Barbie Margot Robbie, and Mike Vogel. Now that I think about it, wasn’t Pam Am an ABC show?

The last contestant arrives with a bottle of glue and introduces herself as Conchata. Joey is all of us and asks her about her name because for those of you who haven’t seen the episode, this woman is the whitest shade of pale and is the last person I expect to have the name Conchata. The producers (played by Jamie Denbo and Rique) scramble behind the scenes trying to find out who this woman is because she is definitely not Conchata. The contestant comes clean about who she really is and introduces herself (again) as Bailey, an aesthetician from Sheboygan, Wisconsin. She takes the bottle of glue and pours it all over the cobblestone driveway. She then lies flat on the driveway in attempt to glue herself to the surface. Our two producers attempt to remove her, but her skin has adhered to whatever glue she poured on the ground. 

Cue title card.

“I love dalmatians.” – Ashley C., Bachelor contestant, to Evan Buckley and Eddie Diaz

Our favorite 911 dispatch, Maddie, gets a call from the season 5 bachelor and host of The Bachelor, Jesse Palmer. We learn Maddie and Josh (played by Bryan Safi) are uber fans of the show and I cracked up when Josh commandeered the phone call and started grilling Jesse about the new bachelor. Maddie deploys the 118 to the Bachelor mansion and it’s heavily insinuated the location of this particular emergency is outside of the area the department usually responds to. Way to keep it professional, you guys!

The 118 arrive on the scene and Chimney and Hen attend to Bailey (played by Sarah Fletcher). Chimney sees Joey and he is awestruck. I can totally see he and Maddie piling up on the living room sofa after they’ve put Jee-Yun to bed to watch The Bachelor. There’s a funny moment where the other contestants flirt heavily with Eddie and Buck. Eddie tells them he’s taken but points to Buck and says that he is single. Buck tells them he has a rule about not dating people he meets on calls which is hilarious considering he nearly got fired in the first episode of the series for taking one of the firetrucks to a booty call with a woman he saved. 

Eddie and Buck breakout the jackhammer to cut away the piece of driveway Bailey is stuck to so she can be transported to the nearest hospital. Meanwhile, Chimney answers a FaceTime call from Maddie and Josh who want to know the identity of the latest bachelor. Chimney flips the camera around and tries to be sneaky about filming Joey, but he gets caught. He ducks behind the limo Bailey pulled up in and sees another woman passed out in the backseat. We learn this is the real Conchata and she has been chloroformed by Bailey. Speaking of Bailey, as she is loaded into the ambulance, she yells for Joey to visit her in prison. Yeah, I don’t think Joey Graziadei is going to be visiting you, Bailey.

“That night was the most fun I’ve had since getting struck by lightning.” – Evan Buckley, to Tommy Kinard

We next head over to Air Operations One which I’ve learned is a part of the Los Angeles Fire Department. Tommy Kinard (played by Lou Ferrigno Jr.), our former 118 firefighter turned helicopter pilot, is giving Buck a tour of the unit. I got so excited seeing these two share a scene together because it’s no secret that Buck is my favorite character on the show, and I really like how they’re brought Tommy back into the show this season. Buck is in awe of everything Tommy’s telling him, but the latter believes he has ulterior motives for being there. He asks if Buck is thinking about changing career paths. Buck tells him that he really got a thrill flying in the middle of a hurricane to save Bobby and Athena. It’s the most fun he’s had since getting struck by lightning. 

Buck asks Tommy what got him into flying. Tommy tells him that he used to be a pilot in the Army. Buck lights up and tells Tommy that Eddie was in the Army, too. Tommy already knows this. Buck then tells Tommy that he met his ex (Taylor) responding to a helicopter crash and then realizes in that moment that maybe that was a sign of things to come. Tommy agrees that saving someone’s life and dating them never turns out the way you want it to. Upon second (and third) viewing of this episode, I find it interesting how the both of them are ambiguous about the genders of the people they are speaking about. Buck could’ve mentioned Taylor by name, but he chose to just say ex instead. Now back to the topic at hand, Buck says he isn’t sure if he’d want to leave where he is now to pursue being a pilot and Tommy assures him he can do both which seems to be the thesis of this episode. Tommy offers to teach Buck how to fly for fun. Buck offers to buy him a beer and Tommy says he’d love that. Again, how did I not pick up on the subtle flirtation the first time I saw this episode. These two’s chemistry is off the charts. 

However, our little meet cute is cut short when Eddie arrives. Eddie is surprised to see Buck there and asks Tommy if he got three tickets to the fight. Tommy says ‘no’ but he wishes he did. Here’s another thing I really liked about this scene. I’m sure, by now, Tommy knows that Buck goes by Buck but each time he addresses Buck he calls him ‘Evan’. I’ve always equated the characters on this show who refer to him as ‘Evan’ as having more of an intimate connection with him, i.e., Maddie his sister or Eddie his best friend. Anywho, Buck is surprised to learn that Tommy and Eddie have tickets to a big fight in Vegas and they’re taking one of the helicopters there. Now I have a question. If Buck wasn’t allowed to drive the firetruck to his hookups back in season one, how is Tommy flying to Vegas with Eddie in one of the LAFD choppers okay? Also, I didn’t know helicopters could fly that great of a distance. Anyway, Tommy and Eddie leave to board the helicopter and our poor Buck is left behind feeling both a little confused and a lot jealous.

“It is so good to have you back.” – Athena Grant, to Harry Grant

Speaking of surprises, Athena does not sleep with her hair wrapped. No shade, but no Black woman I know is going to lay her head down at night without doing something to protect her hair. Okay, I’m gonna leave Athena alone because she is thrilled to have her son back home. Yes, you read that right. Harry Grant is back home but he looks a bit different. The character is now aged up played by a new actor – Elijah M. Cooper. Now, in case you forgot, Harry went to live with his dad in Florida back in season five and we really haven’t seen him since then. When Athena says she can’t believe Michael didn’t say anything about Harry coming to visit. Harry tells her his dad has been really busy and had to fly back to Haiti. Bobby is immediately suspicious of this because he figures that Michael would’ve called about something like this. Athena doesn’t seem to concerned about any of this and is basically just happy to have her youngest back under her roof. 

“I saved a baby in a pipe once although it was a preemie and it didn’t speak.” – Evan Buckley, to everyone

Meanwhile, Buck, Eddie, and Ravi (played by Anirudh Pisharody) respond to an emergency at a restaurant where the dishwasher (played by Jibre Hordges) claims he hears a voice coming from inside the sink. Ravi doesn’t think it’s possible that someone could be trapped inside a drain but Buck reminds him of the time he pulled a newborn out of a sewer pipe. The firefighters do finally hear someone yelling for help and the restaurant manager (played by Cesili Williams) shows them footage of a motorcyclist being struck by a car and knocked into a storm drain. 

Buck, Eddie, and Ravi head outside and Ravi, being the newest member of the 118, is lowered down into a manhole to extract the poor guy. During this time, Buck grills Eddie about his outing with Tommy. He learns that in addition to going to Vegas, Tommy is also teaching Eddie the Muay Thai style of boxing and they’ve even worked on Eddie’s Chevelle together. Buck does his best to hide his jealously, but he can’t help pressing his best friend for more details. He asks Eddie when he plans on seeing Tommy again. Eddie tells him that Tommy has this karaoke/trivia thing he does on Wednesdays and asks Buck what his plans are for that day. Buck perks up and says his schedule is wide open. Eddie asks if he would watch Christopher for him. He would ask Marisol, but she’s already watched Christopher twice already. Yikes! So, a lot to unpack here. First, is Eddie using his girlfriend as childcare? Second, does this mean Buck’s level of importance to Eddie has decreased now that Tommy and Marisol are in the picture. Lastly, is Eddie really that oblivious? I get wanting to have a new friend, especially one who you have a lot in common with, but he knows Buck, or rather he should know Buck, and him saying these things, even though Buck technically asked him for this information, is hurtful for Buck to here. This, I’ve noticed, is a continuing trend of certain characters getting upset whenever Buck does something wrong, but having little to no regard when it comes to his feelings. This isn’t the first time Eddie has done something like this and I have to believe that he really is oblivious because the alternative means that he’s doing these things because he’s trying to get his friend all riled up. Of course, Buck agrees to watch Christopher because of course he’s going to watch Christopher. 

“Is it circled with a heart around it?” – Maddie Buckley, to Evan Buckley. 

A few days later, Buck updates Maddie on Eddie’s new friendship with Tommy. Buck is so jealous of the new friendship that he’s gathering intel from Christopher. Although Buck is being a little bit extra about all of this, a part of me can relate to the emotions he’s feeling. He worries that Tommy has made such an impression on not only Eddie but Christopher in such a short period of time. What I find fascinating is that while Buck is jealous, he harbors no ill-will towards Tommy.  In fact, he agrees with Eddie and Christopher. Tommy is cool. Buck tells his sister that Christopher would not stop talking about Tommy. Maddie wonders if it’s because Buck kept asking him questions about Tommy. Buck mentions that Eddie has a date written down on his calendar and it’s for a weekly pick-up basketball game with Tommy and other first responders. The date is circled. Buck mentions that Eddie has asked him to this before. Maddie reminds Buck that he doesn’t like basketball and he agrees and says that’s why he always tells Eddie ‘no’ but now Eddie is going with Tommy. Chimney hears the tail-end of their conversation and tells Maddie that Tommy flew Eddie to Vegas for a fight in a chopper. Chimney teases Buck by saying that Tommy’s so cool. 

“We have a problem.” – Bobby Nash, to Athena Grant

Back over at the Grant-Nash household, Bobby tells Athena he talked to Michael. Michael is not in Haiti, and he also had no clue Harry had left and come to Los Angeles which means Harry lied to the both of them. Athena wonders why Harry would lie, and Bobby says it’s because the police is looking for him. They showed up to Michael’s house while he was on the phone with Bobby. Bobby tells his wife that Harry got into a fight and assaulted someone. There’s now a warrant out for his arrest due to him fleeing the jurisdiction. Yikes! Poor Athena. You think you know your kids.

“That’s Jeremy. That’s my son, he’s a doctor.” – Dorothy Nelson, to Athena Grant

Maddie receives a call from an older woman named Dorothy Nelson who is reporting an intruder in her home. Maddie instructs her to stay calm and tells her to find a place to hide until the police get there. The woman panics and tells Maddie she has a gun. Maddie tells her that arming herself can only make the situation she’s in more dangerous. Dorothy starts screaming and then we hear a gunshot. 

Athena, Hen, and Chimney arrive on the scene and find a man dead in the Dorothy’s living room. Chimney tends to her and learns she recently sustained a fall in her garden. Athena looks around the room and sees a photo on the mantle above the fireplace. She realizes the man in the photo looks an awful lot like the dead man on the floor. Hen posits Dorothy has face blindness which means she wouldn’t have been able to recognize the guy even if she does know him. This emergency reminds me of a similar one on Lone Star where a kid locked himself in the bathroom because his dad thought he was an intruder.

Athena goes over to Dorothy (played by Meagen Fay) and asks her if she recognizes the man in the photo. She tells Athena that the man in the photo is her son, Jeremy, and he’s a doctor. So, this lady has killed her own son, and the sad part is, she still thinks that it’s an intruder she shot. This is beyond sad, and I felt so bad for her. I also feel bad for Athena who will have to be the one to tell her the truth. Hen asks her if she can imagine looking into her own child’s face and not even recognizing him. Athena says yes she can.

“That’s how they wake you up in jail for sleeping in. Except the water won’t be clean and it probably won’t be water.” Athena Grant, to Harry Grant

Athena returns home and confronts her son. I did not like the way Harry was talking to his mom and I was wondering why Athena didn’t slap him across his lips. Then I realized, she already did this back in season 5 when Harry started mouthing off at her. Athena is extremely patient in this scene while Harry tells her about the incident involving him assaulting a man. The man, in question, is the manager of a convenience store. Apparently this man was following Harry around while he was inside the convenience store and accused Harry of stealing. The man wouldn’t let Harry leave and got aggressive with him which is why Harry hit him. Harry is upset because he believes she is taking law enforcement’s side over his much like he thinks she did when his father was pulled over several seasons ago. Athena reminds him she is a cop, and he counters by reminding her that he is still his mom. He asks her which one is more important to her but says he already knows the answer to that question. 

“Hey, what are you doing on Thursday?” – Evan Buckley, to Howard "Chimney" Han

Over at the 118, Buck is trying his best to get Eddie’s attention, but the latter is too wrapped up in his phone call with Tommy. Buck tries to impress by bench-pressing a lot of weight but he’s clearly struggling with isn’t too believable for me because have you seen Buck? The guy is a tank! Ravi asks him if he needs help and Buck declines. I wish Buck wasn’t so short-sighted because as much as he wants Eddie and Tommy to notice him, I think Ravi wants Buck to notice him. For him, I think, Buck is the cool one. Chimney brings Buck a package addressed to an M. Buckley which I found funny because either Buck doesn’t have his own Amazon Prime account or maybe he shares one with Eddie and didn’t want his friend knowing what he’s ordering. Turns out, the item Buck has ordered is a new basketball. When Buck sees Eddie again, he suggests that they can get a basketball hoop. Eddie barely acknowledges this before returning to his conversation. Yeah, I’m beginning to think Eddie is doing this on purpose. 

“He was shot when he was mistaken as an intruder.” – Athena Grant, to Dorothy Nelson

Athena puts her cutest outfit and goes to see Dorothy Nelson at the hospital. She rips off the Band-Aid and tells Dorothy her son is dead. When Dorothy asks what happens, Athena tells her that he was killed because he was mistaken as an intruder. I like how Athena delivered this news because it wasn’t accusatory. She lets Dorothy figure out the rest and the moment it dawns on her that she is the one who killed Jeremy she is rightfully devastated. Kudos to the actress playing Dorothy Nelson because she really sold this scene for me. This is the most devasting thing I’ve seen on this show since the story back in season 5 where two best friends were struck during the middle of a parade and one of them died. The scene ends and I’m left wondering what will become of this woman. I can’t imagine the pain she’ll have to live with knowing she killed her son. 

“So, I’m your basketball beard. I feel so bonded.” – Howard “Chimney” Han, to Evan Buckley

Buck convinces Chimney to go with him to the pick-up basketball game. Buck pretends to be surprised to see Eddie and Tommy there. Eddie asks Chimney how he managed to talk Buck into playing basketball because every time he asks him, he says ‘no’. Chimney decides to play coy and tells Eddie he has his ways. I love seeing Chimney being supportive of Buck because very soon they are going to be brothers-in-law. The two square off against Eddie and Tommy and the latter are dominating. Buck lets his jealousy get the better of him and trips Eddie up right as he’s about to make a lay-up. We hear something pop as Eddie falls to the ground. Chimney goes into paramedic mode and assesses Eddie’s injury. He thinks Eddie may have a fracture or sprain. Tommy says that Eddie rode with him, so he’ll be the one to take him to urgent care. Eddie gives Buck a hurt look and Buck immediately feels horrible. Tommy lifts Eddie up and takes him away. Chimney looks at Buck and says, “Well you bucked that up, didn’t you?” Geez, I really feel bad for Buck. He is spiraling!

“It seems unjust, but in reality that’s just the way it is.” – Athena Grant, to Harry Grant

With a cooler head, Athena decides to talk to her son. He apologizes for how he spoke to her. He tells her he is not sorry for hitting the convenience store manager. Athena reminds him that he is not only representing himself and their family, but also his community, which means he can’t go around punching people. He tells her that’s a lot of pressure, but she says that’s the reality of the world they live in. She tells him has to be smarter and he asks her if that means he’s not allowed to be angry. Athena tells him it’s okay to be angry because at the end of the day, he’s a human and that’s what humans do – they get angry when they are upset. However, she reminds him that things could have been worst for him. What if the convenience store manager had a gun? Harry asks her what would have been the right thing for him to do in the situation and I like that Athena admits she doesn’t know. At the end of the day, you have to do whatever you have to do to make it home alive. That’s sentiment is so sad to me but as a Black man living in America, in the South to be specific, I totally get it. It’s not fair but it is what it is. 

Athena shows him the footage of what happened at the convenience store. Harry watches as the manager confronts him and even gets aggressive. He also sees himself punch the man. It’s sobering for him to see this video. He says it’s like watching someone else. Athena tells him that everyone has something they’ve done that they aren’t proud of (you hear that Buck?) but the true test of character is being able to face the consequences of one’s actions. Harry tells her he doesn’t know what to do and she tells him they’ll figure it out together. Whatever happens, she will be right there with him because he is her son, and she loves him no matter what.

“I’m not a fourteen-year-old girl.” – Evan Buckley, to Maddie Buckley. 

Buck brings Maddie lunch at the dispatch center and catches her up on what happened with Eddie.  She asks Buck how Eddie is feeling, and he tells her he doesn’t know because he hasn’t talked to him. Maddie is surprised to hear this considering Buck and Eddie are so close. Buck tells her he doesn’t think Eddie wants to hear from him since he’s the one who hurt him. Maddie says it’s an accident, but Buck tells her he was pissed about Eddie and Tommy hanging out so much that he allowed his jealousy to get the better of him. He’s the reason why Eddie got injured. Buck says he was only trying to get his attention. Maddie tells him that is not the way to get someone’s attention. When I first watched this scene, I thought Maddie was going a little overboard with her disapproval of what Buck did. Then I realized, violence is how her husband Doug would get her attention back when they were married. Buck tells her he feels awful for what he did to Eddie, and she tells him not to do it again. 

She admits she knows how he feels because she had a similar situation with her best friend growing up. Her friend became friends with another girl and Maddie did everything she could, including dyeing her hair blonde and attempting to change her name, to get her friend to notice her. It never occurred to her that she could have still been friends with her friend even if her friend was friends with someone else. Maybe they could have all been friends. But Maddie was too jealous to realize this. The situation made her look desperate, and she would’ve been better off just explaining to her friend how she felt. 

“It’s good to see you Harry.” – Captain Elaine Maynard, to Harry Grant

Athena accompanies Harry to the police station, and they are met by Captain Elaine Maynard (played by Claudia Christian). The captain tells Athena and Harry she spoke with the Miami Dade Police Department, and they have no interest in extraditing for a misdemeanor assault. However, both jurisdictions recommended Harry remain in Los Angeles with Athena and complete 100 hours of community service. Harry is surprised he isn’t going to jail but Athena makes it known that him being under her watchful eye will be worse. 

“It’s not like I could ever replace you.” – Tommy Kinard, to Evan Buckley

Now, we’ve finally made it to my favorite scene of the episode. We head over to Buck’s loft. There’s a knock at the door and when he goes to check, he finds Tommy on his doorstep. Tommy asks if they can talk, and Buck invites himself inside. I love the subtle detail of Tommy being in awe of Buck’s loft. Buck offers him a drink and reminds him that he owes him a beer. Tommy declines and says he won’t be staying long. He tells Buck he wants to clear the air between the two of them and he didn’t want to do so over the phone or through a text message. Tommy calls him Evan and says it was never his intention to cause any bad blood between him and Eddie. Buck assures him there’s no bad blood and owns up to his bad behavior. He tells him that he and Eddie make perfect sense as friends. Tommy agrees and reminds Buck that Eddie can have more than one friend. 

Tommy says that he would never be able to replace him. He says that Christopher cannot shut up about Buck. I love the smile on Buck’s face when Tommy says this because it’s a reminder that Buck, seven seasons later, still craves the approval and the acceptance of those around him. Even Christopher. Buck asks Tommy if Eddie is mad at him. Tommy tells him Eddie is not mad at him. If anything, he feels bad (they both do) for excluding Buck. He tells Buck that he and Eddie hanging out was never about Buck, but Buck says that’s the problem. He admits he can get pretty jealous. I’m so proud of Buck for just owning everything in this scene. Lisa Rinna would be proud. 

Tommy admits that Buck isn’t the only one who’s been jealous. Buck is surprised to hear this. Tommy explains that he’s jealous of what’s become of the 118. When we were first introduced to Tommy, it was back during the ‘Begin’ episodes for Hen, Chimney, and Bobby. The 118 didn’t use to be the family it is now. In fact, the previous captain went out of his way to cultivate a highly toxic environment and it’s because of Chimney, Hen, and Bobby that the team is what it is today. It’s the reason why Buck and Eddie and Ravi were able to be accepted right away without having to be hazed by the other firefighters. Tommy admits he wishes he were a part of what the 118 has become and Buck reminds him that he is. He reminds Tommy of how he made fake mouth static at the fire chief during their daring mission to save Bobby and Athena. Tommy says he’s renowned for his fake mouth static, but Buck says it wasn’t very convincing. The banter between these two men is so cute I could actually explode. Buck tempers his teasing by reminding Tommy that he was willing to put his job on the line to help the rest of them out. That was the moment Buck realized that Tommy was cool and that he liked him. He tells Tommy that’s the reason he called him for the tour. It’s not because he’s thinking about leaving the 118; it’s because he wanted to get to know him. It’s Tommy’s turn to be surprised. Buck says things took a turn when Eddie arrive, but he understands why Tommy wants to hang with Eddie. It was so cute the way Buck gushes about how great Eddie is that he’s known Eddie is great since the first day he worked with him. Aww! At this point, I’m literally yelling at my TV.

“That was better than fake mouth static.” – Evan Buckley, to Tommy Kinard

The flirting is turned up to level 100 when Buck tells Tommy it’s his attention he’s been trying to get and frankly he’s exhausted. Again, Tommy is surprised to hear this. Buck reminds him that he maimed his best friend, and that Maddie told him there are better ways to get someone’s attention. Before Buck can even finish the statement, Tommy leans in and kisses him. There’s a brief hesitation in Buck, most likely because he is shocked, the Buck starts to kiss him back. This moment was beyond shocking to me and even now, three days later, I still have to watch the clip to remind myself that Tommy kissed Buck and Buck definitely kissed him back. I spent years thinking something like this would never happen and I’ve gone back and forth with Buddie shippers online telling them that Buck or Eddie coming out as anything other than straight was an impossibility. Yeah, maybe that was the case when 9-1-1 was on FOX but this is a new network baby and ABC said, let them boys kiss! And yes, it’s not Eddie and Buck that are kissing but in my opinion, this is an even better direction for the characters to go in. I’ve always believed that if either character were to come out as queer, it would be Buck. We’ve only seen Buck in relationships with women, but he’s always struck me as someone who is open to whatever experiences come his way. Perhaps this explains why he's always had difficulty in the relationships he’s pursued on the show. Eddie, on the other hand, is a lot more reserved than Buck and the writers are going to have to put in work to convince me he is anything other than a heterosexual man. I’m not saying it’s out the realm of possibility, but I think the writers did a good job getting us where we are now, and they’ll need to do the same for Eddie in the future should that be the direction they want to go in for that character. Also. bringing Tommy into the equation is a brilliant move on their part because rewatching those ‘Begin’ episodes, there are insinuations there that he may be gay or bisexual. 

Okay, back to the scene. The way Tommy is looking at Buck gives me all the feels. The way he’s looking at Buck tells me that if he didn’t have to leave for his shift, they would be going at it on Buck’s new sofa. I’m so happy this isn’t just a one-sided interest. After the kiss, Tommy asks Buck if he’s okay with the moment they just shared. Buck is looking every bit of the bewildered that’s a part of the title of this episode. He tells Tommy that the kiss was better than his fake mouth static. Tommy tells him he has a shift, but he wants to take Buck out on a proper date. Buck tells him he’s free and man is that statement layered. Free to go out. Free to be who he wants to be. Free to kiss anyone he wants to kiss. Tommy tells Buck he will come around on Saturday at eight to pick him up. Tommy goes to leave but before opens the door, he tells Buck to call Eddie. We end the scene with Buck looking the happiest he’s looked in a long time. 

This episode is hands down one of the best of the series and that’s just not recency bias. I feel that way about all the episodes we’ve gotten this season. 9-1-1 is firing on all cylinders at this point and things feel fresh and new again. The plot with Athena and Harry was perplexing at first but then I grew to like it by the end. I like that the show reminds us that Athena being a Black woman and a cop is controversial, especially in today’s climate, and I like that her kids aren’t afraid to call her out. I love seeing Athena reckon with both identities and how they relate to each other. I especially loved her conversation with Harry because it’s very reminiscent of conversations I’ve had with my own mom. Her telling Harry that it’s unfair that he has to always be on his best behavior but necessary rang so true to me. Athena has always known this, even before she had kids, yet she chooses to continue to work within a system that reinforces this kind of thinking. 

The storyline with Buck was also fun. It was a nice balance to the sadness of the story with the woman killing her son on accident. I like how Buck is never afraid to be vulnerable, even if it’s to his detriment. I hope we get a conversation between him and Eddie next episode because I love their friendship and I don’t want it to ever change, and something tells me Buck is going to lean heavy on his friendship with Eddie now that he might be dating Tommy. And I hope that Eddie continues to be supportive of his friend when he finds out the truth about his sexuality. I don’t think Eddie would have a problem with it. After all, Hen is an out and proud lesbian, and we also have Josh who is gay. I do know that some people do question the legitimacy of bisexual people but again, I don’t think Eddie will have a problem with whatever Buck labels himself as. Maybe we’ll even get a double date between Eddie, Marisol, Buck, and Tommy. That would be fun.

Lastly, I wanted to talk about Buck and Tommy. I think the show did a great job getting us to the moment where they shared a kiss this episode. As I mentioned earlier, I have seen this episode quite a few times and I’ve watched the scenes involving Buck and Tommy more than that. If you watch the scene where Buck is visiting Tommy, there’s so many little looks the two are giving each other. I think at that point that Buck is only infatuated but Tommy is clearly interested. Also, if you go back to the previous episode, at the end once everyone has been rescued, there’s a look Buck gives when he is telling Tommy goodbye. I love things like that and it’s proof to me that this isn’t just gaybaiting or queerbaiting. This is the show telling us that one of their beloved characters is queer and they have taken special care with letting us know that. I love how Oliver Stark and Lou Ferrigno Jr. are invested in this story. In fact, the cast is supportive of Buck going in this direction. I’m so happy that the fans have this moment. It’s been so fun engaging with people online about this episode and while there are viewers who have and will balk at Buck being a queer character, I say screw those people. If a character’s sexuality can make you that upset, you clearly haven’t been watching the show and you’re not a fan.

Okay, this reaction has gone on way too long. I’ll say it one last time. I’m so happy Buck is bi!!!! I can’t wait to see what happens next! Until next time …

[every-single-day]

Outsiders 6/2 Recap Yap!

Probably spoilers

- I quite literally cannot get over how INSANE the sound design and lighting design are. Like, I can’t even express my thoughts about it. I wish they could have gotten 5 of each of those Tony’s. Absolutely insane.

- idk if this is how it normally plays out, but Brody didn’t catch two-bit’s keys in Grease Got a Hold and started hitting the floor in anger I was crying

- I was not prepared for how FUNNY this show is !!!!! Every single joke lands and my god there are so many

- LIGHTING DESIGN IN GREAT EXPECTATIONS HNNNNNNNNNNG

- Pony and Johnny’s Danny Zuko ass walks when they go to sit with Cherri and Marcia took me OUTTTTTTT

- “I’m quite an artistic person actually.”

- WHY DID THEY VILLAINIZE DARRY SO HARD???? I know I just asked for Darry angst BUT I DIDN’T MEAN IT LIKE THAT

- Darry still my favorite character idc

- it would be easier to count the actual similarities between the book and the musical than it would be to count the differences atp but y’know I’m not really mad about them. Adam Rapp ate.

- the only change I don’t like is that Pony doesn’t miss his curfew because he and Johnny fell asleep in the lot :( I feel like that’s a pretty essential scene for understanding the depth of their friendship / Johnny’s mental state

- Brody’s mic got FUCKED after the fountain scene he didn’t have full sound until his last 3 words in Run Run Brother

- THE FIGHT CHOREO?!?!?!?

- I see what Jason meant now when he said they changed everything to match the language of the rumble. Wow.

- they really went in on the whole “everything is Ponyboy’s fault” thing damn let my baby breathe

- the way it goes AHHHHH FIRE PONY JOHNNY DALLY NOOOOOO 🔥🔥 and then very abruptly to “Well I woke up this morning 😁” is kinda jarring ngl

- no Curtis brothers reunion 😠

- the applause after the rumble was CRAZY. 30 seconds of cheering and clapping in pitch black darkness.

- Cherri went to visit Johnny in the hospital??? The musical really saves her character I love that for her

- Joshua fucking Boone. I sat there unmoving (was I breathing?) for a solid 5 minutes after Little Brother. I didn’t know what to do.

- I didn’t cry???? Like at all???? I think I was, and lowkey still am, in a state of shock

- YO SODA IS SO FUNNY

- met the whole cast at SD 😀 (except Emma, Sky, and Renni they were out)

- I LOVE YOU BRENT COMER

- Brent’s sharpie ran out of ink and the lady next to me offered to give him hers and he went “😏 i meannnnn I’m not gonna say NO”

- told Jason Schmidt he changed my life when he dropped “chilling in the dressing room” and he started dying laughing and said it changed his life too

- I MADE JASON SCHMIDT LAUGH

- KWP’s teeth are so perfect but he actually terrifies me

- Josh and Rj are so so sweet

- I was the only person in my section who knew Rj (at least by name) and he was so honored and started asking about my day and stuff 😭 then I ran into him again after SD and we talked more and took a super cute pic ugh I love him

- Joshua Boone and I had a spiritual “only black people in the room” connection and when I tell yall we had a MOMENT !!!! I love that man

- I literally saw Brodington Grantifer. With my own two eyes. 10 feet away from me. We made eye contact for half a second. (And then he got manhandled because people are shit and don’t understand how to respect boundaries.)

I probably have more thoughts but those can be posted later when/if I remember them

[autisticjoshrusso]

really struggling to formulate my thoughts on this episode here. i think a lot was done right and a lot was done kind of poorly.

i think it was a mistake to end tommy's plotline on the show in that same lukewarm place that it had been for the entire time. the narrative was simultaneously too kind and not kind enough to him at the end in a way that didn't match the energy it had been giving. im not normally one to advocate for something to be made more black and white, but i think this is one of those times that the plot would have benefited from it. they needed to lean harder into him being an asshole or being a good guy. if they wanted him to get a redemption arc and the breakup to be very sad etc like they were apparently going for here, they should have made him more likeable this whole time. it felt tonally disconnected to me. like if he's going to be this emotional guy who cares too much about potentially being heartbroken we should have been getting that the whole time and we just objectively weren't.

i'll get into the maddie, josh, and buck scene separately. that's gonna need its own post from me because you know thats my special guy and i gotta really get into it.

i'm definitely glad to see the relationship be over. i've stayed pretty middle ground this whole time because i loved the potential tommy could have had as a character, but that was just never delivered in canon, and ive said from the beginning that even at their respective bests, i don't think buck and tommy are right for each other. they both have very different needs and would both be better served finding different partners. i'll probably return to writing my joshtommy content once the ship war starts to blow over and i can sit in peace with the knowledge that im just having fun and not trying to propose that any of it will ever be canon.

the choice to make abby's ex be the same tommy was a brilliant one, and i feel like they almost... wasted it? when buck decided he should forgive tommy for leaving her the way he did (by which i mean josh convinced him he needed to feel a certain way, more on that later as i said), it was the perfect opportunity to have tommy go, um, actually, im the one who has a problem with it now, bye. that would have really cemented the sort of avoidant behavior and lack of close emotional attachment they'd been characterizing tommy with up until that point. so to have it come back around to the same sort of hang up with buck's inexperience instead was a bit strange.

that said, i DO love their decision to put buck in breakup green and ask tommy to move in. the way my stomach dropped in that moment because i knew it was over, they were breaking up, etc. because he was doing it again. once again he was unsure about the relationship and then immediately overcompensated by proposing a major step forward. i think it was a great choice to showcase this again because realizing he's bisexual didn't change the Behaviors. he's still on the hamster wheel. and of course the final name drop change from evan to buck was just soooo. chef's kiss. no notes.

anyway thats all ive got right this second i'll hit yall with a second post about the josh and buck of it all later on (potentially not even tonight depending on how smoothly writing it goes but hopefully sooner than later.) please try to be normal and not kill each other today folks <3 at the end of the day this is a fictional television procedural about first responders, and the real world has enough problems without inventing more things to be mad at.

[filmjoyreviews]

COMPANION: Darkly Hilarious Feminist Horror with Powerhouse Performances

When I was in college, I was asked if I had published any film writing and my automatic response was to quickly doubt myself by expressing that what I had to say about film wasn't important enough to write. I never felt like I could write about film in any serious capacity. In that moment, I was encouraged to find my voice and write about film. My film writing journey began with an article about Android Autonomy and the male gaze. Since then, I have tried to follow my dreams, and only occasionally doubt myself as much as I once did.

Seeing Companion--written and directed by Drew Hancock-- brought back memories of that first time I put myself out there with my writing.

That article was focused around how female robots in science-fiction films reflect how women are often stripped of their autonomy. With Companion, we are introduced to Iris (Sophie Thatcher) as she struggles to project the perfect happy relationship when she feels her outlook on life shattering as she joins her boyfriend Josh (Jack Quaid) and his friends Eli (Harvey Guillén), Patrick (Lukas Gage), Kat (Megan Suri) for a weekend retreat at billionaire Sergey's (Rupert Friend) secluded lake cabin.

Iris is a robot built to provide love and companionship to Josh, but she has always viewed herself as a human and Companion explores how experiencing life is what makes us human. Even though Iris was programmed, her experiences are just as real and human as anyone else--and she is just as worthy of respect and boundaries as anyone else.

Sophie Thatcher's performance as Iris explores the complexity of life from her very first moments. If the marketing didn't expressly tell us Iris is a robot, we see a fully-realized woman struggling with being accepted by her boyfriend's friends and we feel the pain hidden behind her fake-perfect smile. And from these early moments, she has earned our sympathy--more than any other character in the movie. Her struggles reflect real life issues women face in abusive relationships, especially focusing on how women are seen as objects to control by the men around them.

One of the most harrowing moments in Companion comes extremely early into the film. When Josh and Iris go to their bedroom at the end of their first night in the cabin, Iris starts to want to have a serious conversation with Josh and without hesitation he says, "Go to Sleep, Iris."

This moment gives us a glimpse into Josh's true nature rather than the meet-cute awkward dream Iris has been trying to hold onto. These are the words Josh uses to shut Iris down, but his words also reflect the way men talk down to women. In this moment, we are shown how little Josh actually cares about Iris, and this small moment starts to give us a clearer, more honest portrait of the character.

Like Fresh (2022), the horrific moments of Companion hit that much harder after its rom-com grocery store meet-cute opening scene. As a fan of both gory horror and overly sentimental romantic comedy, Companion plays these moments with sincerity for their characters even though we know we know there's a darkness lingering under the surface from the beginning. Sophie Thatcher does an especially great job juxtaposing Iris's initial rose-tinted view of her relationship with the harsh realities she comes to know.

Jack Quaid does a wonderful job as Josh, seamlessly going from the sweet, charming guy Iris thinks she met and the dangerous, controlling man he truly is. Not everyone can play these two sides of the character both so convincingly. As the film progresses, he becomes a truly scary character with a menacing glint in his eye as he becomes more focused on destroying Iris to save himself.

Companion is an enthralling feminist horror that becomes terrifying with how closely it resembles real life. Companion tells its story with a pitch-black sense of humor, especially as Josh whines that he's really the victim. There are as many moments of tense horror--especially relating to the way Iris is treated--as there are moments that provoke raucous laughter.

Seeing Companion with a lively audience made the experience even better. I recommend running to see this in a crowded theater. With all its twists and turns, you won't regret the trip to the theater. Even with its choice to tell us outright Iris is a robot in the marketing, there are still enough unexpected moments to keep you on the edge of your seat.

Companion had me recalling Coralie Fargeat's 2017 horror film Revenge, especially in the way Sergey talks to Iris, suggesting she's there for everyone to share. There's a haunting tension in the scenes where characters talk about Iris as if she doesn't have feelings because she's a robot. These moments reminded me of the way Jen is spoken to by every man in Revenge. Companion explores real issues of how women are underestimated, not given the respect they deserve, and are not valued as people by making Iris an object that was purchased.

Companion thrives with its feminist commentary about the way men try to control women while still playing the victim, but it never feels heavy handed and only focused on its commentary. Companion succeeds as a darkly hilarious, blood-soaked, fun romp while still giving quality focus to its feminist themes.

Drew Hancock's Companion is a wild ride that keeps you guessing and pulls you in for more. Jack Quaid and Sophie Thatcher give stellar performances and you can tell why they are both becoming household names. Sophie Thatcher has been making a name for herself as a scream queen and Companion is a worthy addition to her horror repertoire. I can't wait to see what she does next and Iris will go down as a feminist horror icon.

Review by Amanda Mazzillo

[foreverisntenough]

‘Movie Night’

Summary: If only life was like the movies. For years, you’d flirted with the idea of something more with Trent, your brother’s best friend.  You'd always danced around the edges of something more with him, sharing flirty moments that felt like scenes straight from the cinema. You had been silently desperate for the main character of your life’s film to finally get the boy but you knew moments like that were saved for Hollywood. The lines were clear; you were always going to be his mate’s little sister. So what happens when you go off script? In a whirlwind of passion, secrets, and stolen moments, you're left wondering: will you and your brother's best friend get the happy ending you've been waiting for, or was it never meant to be more than a fantasy? 

Index:

Warnings: This series is 18+ MDNI [ smut, slight mention of dv, loss of a parent, drinking - not sure what else really… if i miss anything please lmk!

Note: Thank you for reading! Please be sure to like, comment, or message me what you think of the series!

Disclaimer: Still the same.

Chapter 18 - 'Safe’ | ‘Movie Night'

word count - 11.3 k

[this chapter contains dv as mentioned in the warnings, please be advised]

The match had just kicked off, and you were curled up on the sofa at home, a throw blanket draped over your legs. Jack sat in his usual spot on the opposite end of the couch, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, engrossed in Liverpool’s away game. Noah had claimed the armchair, his phone in hand but his eyes frequently darting to the screen. The house was calm for the first time in weeks, the tension between you and Jack easing after your recent heart-to-heart. You felt lighter now that things with Trent were out in the open-at least with Jack. But as the game played on, you couldn't shake the feeling that you were still navigating uncharted territory. Trent was playing well, his movements smooth and commanding. Every time the commentators mentioned his name, you felt your chest swell with pride. Jack noticed but didn't say anything, though you could sense him glancing your way now and then, gauging your reaction.

"Trentski’s been solid this season," Noah remarked casually, breaking the silence as the game hit a lull.

"Yeah," Jack replied, his tone neutral, though his attention stayed fixed on the screen. You shifted in your seat, feeling a strange mix of pride and discomfort. It was surreal to watch Trent play with Jack and Noah sitting right there. It wasn't the first time, but now, everything felt different. Then, the commentators mentioned Josh's name, noting a key play in another match he'd made earlier in the season. It was a fleeting reference, nothing significant, but it sent a ripple of unease through you.

"I'm glad we fucked that kid up."  Noah, apparently less restrained, muttered under his breath. The words hung in the air like a bomb waiting to go off. You froze, your breath catching as your eyes darted to Jack, who had immediately straightened up.

"What?" Jack asked sharply, his brows furrowed as he turned to Noah. Noah's face went blank for a moment before he forced out a nervous laugh, waving a hand dismissively. 

"Ah... nah, just. You know? The game. Trent locked him up. Glad they won that match, you know?" You tried to shrink into the sofa, your pulse racing. Noah's attempt to backpedal was clumsy at best, and Jack wasn't buying it but he didn’t call it out. You could feel his eyes flick to you now, the unspoken question hanging heavily between you. You avoided his gaze, pretending to focus on the game, but your heart was pounding. Trent had told you about Noah and his altercation with Josh but it was more in passing, neither he nor you wanted to talk about Josh much so you let it lie, albeit uncomfortably but nevertheless, let it lie. 

Trent came home from his away match, and before you knew it, you found yourself tangled up on his sofa. He barely even gave you time to take off your coat or get comfortable before pulling you into his arms and collapsing onto the cushions with you. You were there for ages, his head rested against your chest, his legs sprawled across yours, and his arms wrapped tightly around your waist as if letting go wasn’t an option.

“T, baby, you’re literally crushing me,” you teased, your voice soft and full of affection as your fingers scratched gently through his curls.

“Good,” he murmured into your shirt, the vibration of his voice sending a comforting warmth through your body. “I’m not letting you go.” You let out a quiet laugh, trying to shift under his weight, but it was futile. Every time you moved, he clung tighter, burying his face further into the crook of your neck.

“Baby,” you started, your tone laced with playful exasperation. “At least let me breathe?” He looked up at you then, his eyes heavy-lidded from exhaustion, his lips pursed into a pout so perfect you couldn’t help but roll your eyes fondly. It was signature Trent, doe eyes, pouty lips, you didn’t have a chance so you just sympathetically smiled at him. 

“Don’t care,” he muttered, his voice raspy. “I just wanna stay right here.” His words made your heart ache in the best way. You kissed the top of his head and wrapped your arms around him, letting your fingers trail lightly over his back.

“Okay, okay. Stay right there, clingy boy,” you teased. He smiled sleepily at your words, but his eyes started to flutter shut again. He was exhausted and you were now reprieve. There was no such thing as ‘too close.’ As his breathing slowed and his body grew heavier against yours, you noticed he was beginning to doze off. You had started a show on Netflix but he hadn’t paid it much mind despite him being adamant you watched it. Concerned he might wake up with a sore neck or miss a plot point, you nudged him gently.

“T, seriously you’re falling asleep, baby. You should go upstairs and actually rest,” you suggested softly. But instead of moving, he tightened his grip on you, letting out a soft, sleepy whimper that completely undid you.

 “No,” he mumbled, his voice muffled against your collarbone. His lips brushed against your skin as he added, “Don’t want to. Just wanna be with you.”

“T,” you tried again, though your resolve was quickly fading. He shifted, nuzzling even closer, his pout now accompanied with big, pleading eyes that made it impossible to say no.

“You make me feel like I’m home, pretty girl. Baby, I’m finally back home when I’m with you.” he murmured, his words sending warmth flooding through your chest. You sighed in defeat, pulling him in tighter.Your heart ached, you wanted to be that for him for years; to be something he longed for and you finally had it. He was finally yours. Yours to hold and take care of. So often before you’d given him an encouraging hug after a match only to know he’d be scampering off elsewhere to other girls and now you were here.

 “Okay, come here, then,” you whispered, stroking his back as he settled into you again. His face pressed against your neck, and his arms circled your waist, locking you in place.

“I’m away so much,” he mumbled, his voice cracking slightly, as if admitting it aloud made it harder. “The second I’m back home, I just want to be with my baby. Just you. That’s it.” Your heart squeezed painfully at his admission. You knew how much his schedule weighed on him, how it must feel to always be on the move, but you wanted him to need you, want you, when he came home. A part of you sort of relished in this. It was cute. He was just being such a baby about it and you liked that strong, confident, cool Trent was a such a simp in front of you.

“Yeah?” you teased lightly, trying to keep the mood from growing too heavy, though you couldn’t help the way your chest swelled with love for him. 

“Mmm,” he hummed, his lips brushing against your skin as he placed soft, lazy kisses along your neck. “Missed you so much, baby.” 

“I’m not going anywhere, T,” you whispered, your voice barely audible as you pressed your cheek to his curls, letting him know he didn’t have to worry as the sound of the forgotten show played in the background. 

“Good,” he muttered, his voice growing softer, sleep dangerously close to pulling him under. His body went slack against yours, his weight sinking into you completely. You stayed like that for a long while, cradling him against you, quiet, his steady breathing and warmth wrapping around you like a blanket. You just watched him, taking in how soft his features fell, how comfortable he looked but then there was a flash on the tv and you realized you probably had gone through five episodes by now. You had no idea what was happening in the show. You knew he wanted to watch so gently you decided to ask. 

“Baby, should I pause this then?” your fingers absentmindedly stroking through his curls as he lay sprawled across you on the couch. His face was buried against your chest, his body heavy with comfort and relaxation.

“Don’t care,” he mumbled sleepily, barely lifting his head. His voice was soft, muffled by your skin. You reached to find the remote to pause the show before you pressed a kiss to his hairline, your lips lingering as you ran a soothing hand over his back. He felt so warm and at ease that you didn’t want to disturb the peace of the moment. Still, an idea popped into your mind, and you hesitated for a second before sharing it.

“You know, maybe we should start a series we can watch together even when we’re apart,” you suggested softly, your tone laced with affection. The thought of having something to share with him during his travels made the distance feel a little less daunting. Trent sighed, his head shifting just enough for you to hear his quiet reply.

“I hate when we’re apart.” His voice carried a hint of sadness, and the way his arms tightened around your waist made your heart keep hurting.

“I know, baby,” you whispered, your lips brushing against his temple. “I hate it too. But could be nice you know?" The weight of his next upcoming away matches hung in the air, unspoken but understood. Trent shifted slightly, just enough to tilt his face up toward yours. 

“Mmm. Kay, whatever you want, baby." He sleepily smiled as the idea fully registered. It was sweet you cared enough to try to connect with him even when he was away. "You make everything feel better, you know that?” His words were laced with sincerity, his gaze soft as he looked at you.

“You make everything feel better too,” you admitted, leaning down to press your lips to his in a slow, lingering kiss. The rest of the evening was a blur of tender moments. Trent refused to let you move even an inch away from him, clinging to you like you were his lifeline. You spent the night tangled together, whispering nothings, exchanging soft kisses, and soaking in the precious time you had before he had to leave again. As much as you hated the thought of being apart, the love you felt in those quiet moments reminded you that no matter where he was, he was yours—and you were his… finally. As you listened to the quiet rhythm of his breaths, you couldn’t help but feel like you were exactly where you were meant to be—home.

The hum of the TV and the quiet clatter of controllers filled the room as you lay sprawled across Trent’s chest. You hadn’t left his house or his proximity since he returned home. That was two days ago. He was deep into his game, his fingers moving swiftly, jaw set in focus. You couldn’t stop staring at him, completely lost in the little details—the curve of his nose, the way his eyelashes fluttered with every blink, the slight furrow of his brows when the game grew tense. He looked unreal in the soft glow of the screen, too perfect, too composed. He didn’t seem to mind your weight on him, his hands gently resting on your back, occasionally his free one absentmindedly tracing circles on your skin. It was instinctive for him now, the way he touched you even when he was distracted. Every so often, he’d shift just enough to glance down at you, a faint grin tugging at his lips when he caught you watching him.

“Comfortable there, yeah?” he murmured quietly, just for you, no mic could pick it up. You hummed in response, nuzzling your cheek closer to his chest. 

“Mmhm. Very.” You smiled.  He let out a soft chuckle, his fingers pausing briefly against your spine before he re-immersed himself in the game. Through his headset, you could hear his friends shouting, laughing, and cursing, completely oblivious to your presence. Friends you knew well. Friends that had no idea that Trent was currently tangled up with you like this—like you were a secret only Trent was lucky enough to keep. It was thrilling in a quiet way, this feeling of being wrapped up in him, safe and hidden from the world. Trent shifted under you slightly, adjusting his position to keep you closer.  You tilted your head to look up at him again. He glanced down at you just then, catching the way your eyes lingered on him. For a moment, his focus on the game faltered, and you caught a soft blush creeping up his neck.

“You’re staring,” he murmured, voice so low it wasn’t audible over the game noise.

“You look sexy,” you mouthed the words with a lazy smile. His lips twitched upward, the corner of his mouth betraying how much he liked you saying that. You couldn’t help but giggle softly, pressing a kiss to his chest before settling back into the comfortable silence, your world reduced to just him and the sound of his heartbeat beneath you. But then, he shot you a wink. A wink that fueled the most devious of fires in you. Your hands moving to drag over his chest before wrapping up around his neck to pull your body up his. You nuzzled into him. Trent let out a quiet hum of approval as you began pressing soft, deliberate kisses against his skin. The game was still running, his friends shouting and laughing in his ear, oblivious to what you were doing. You smiled against his neck, knowing just how easily you could unravel him even in the most unsuspecting moments. Your nails scratched at the fade of his hair teasingly causing Trent’s head to loll to the side to give you more room to keep kissing. But then as he could feel himself getting sucked into you, his arousal growing he smirked. You watched him mute his headphones. 

“Baby…” he murmured, a warning laced with amusement as his grip around the controller faltered. His voice dipped low, like he was trying to keep it together for the sake of the game. He unmuted himself and when you went to tell him hush an idea came to mind. You pulled back just enough to meet his eyes, mischief dancing across your face. He exhaled sharply, his jaw clenching as he tried to refocus. So in retaliation you slid down his body, your fingers curling into the hem of his shirt before trailing lower, tugging at the waistband of his joggers with deliberate slowness. Trent's eyes went wide, surprise flickering across his face as he watched you with a mix of curiosity and heat. You mouthed 'be quiet' with a greedy smile that made his chest rise and fall a little faster. He swallowed hard, his head tipping back onto the cushion, a low, helpless groan escaping as you hooked your fingers into his joggers and eased them down. There was no protest-there never would be. His cock was thick and hard, pulsing with each heartbeat. You stroked him gently, reveling in the feel of his velvety skin and the warmth of his length in your hand. His breath hitched as your hands wrapped around his hard cock. You wasted no time, immediately leaning forward, you took the head of his cock into your mouth, swirling your tongue around the sensitive crown, tasting the pre-cum that beaded at the tip. You bobbed your head, taking him deep, your throat welcoming the invasion. Your hand pumped the base of his shaft in time with your movements, and you reveled in the power you had over this gorgeous man. Trent was fighting for a semblance of control. You hollowed your cheeks and forced yourself to take more of his cock down your throat. Spit pooled in the corners of your mouth as you gagged a little around him. The sound of button mashing filled the room, but Trent's concentration was shot. One of the boys on the line broke the silence, suspicious of Trent's silence, an occasional curse and lack of focus.

"Oi, Trent, what's going on? What are you doing?" someone asked, their voice laced with curiosity and amusement. “Where you at?” He asked pulling Trent straight out of his dreamworld where you had his whole length in your mouth, to the back of your throat. He started to twitch in your mouth as he hit the back of your throat continuously: You doubled your efforts, sucking and stroking, determined to bring him to the brink.

"Nah, nothing-fuck," Trent stuttered, his voice cracking as he tried to suppress another groan. That was all it took for the boys to catch on. 

"Nah shut up. Say swear right now! Bro, you’re absolutely getting some top right now!" One of them yelled, laughing into the mic. Trent let the onslaught of testing ensue as he looked down at you sucking him off, bobbing your head as you stared up at him bashfully through your lashes. 

"Facetime me right now then!" another taunted, the group erupting into teasing and jeers. He couldn’t think straight, he was about to cum, you could feel the vein running along his perfect cock pulse but then with all your power you pulled back, letting a web of saliva and precum connect his tip to your perfectly pouty lips begging for him to play with you, not them. At first his eyes were shut, brow furrowed ready to cum and distraught when you snatched it away. But then he smirked, attempting to convince you he wasn’t fazed by your performance. But it was very clear he was already gone and you had just deprived him of what would’ve been a very good orgasm. He’d had enough though as you had his head lolling back against the cushion behind him but his hand instinctively reached for the controller, only to fumble and miss entirely, just swatting somewhere on the sofa next to him. You giggled at his failure to stay composed. He opened his eyes at the sound he loved so much. You leaned forward letting your tits bounce in your tiny tank top right in front of him and he lit up seeing you. 

"Nah, lads. Phone's not working," he managed to choke out, his words shaky and uneven.  His gaze completely focused on you, a cheeky smirk plastered to his face. You gently leaned in and bit his bottom lip pulling it back with you. His friends weren't buying it, and their laughter only grew louder. 

"Yeah, okay, mate," one of them teased. Trent groaned again, this time in pure surrender before abruptly exiting the game entirely, leaving the other boys in a state of stunned, uproarious jokes. He pulled the headset off and tossed it aside. His eyes filled with a playful intensity as he reached for you.

“C’mere. You’ve got a lot to answer for, you know that?”  With his attention now fully on you, you grinned, your heart racing as he gently pulled you back down onto him, his hands resting firmly on your waist. He shook his head with a soft chuckle, his voice dropping to a low murmur. “Can’t focus when you’re around. You’re such a distraction. First my movies, now my games, hmm?” He mused. 

“I think you liked when I distract you, baby.” You whispered as you leaned in, your lips brushing against his in the faintest of kisses. He hummed in agreement as the kiss deepened. 

What felt like ages ago, you’d promised Jack you two would spend some quality time together. After everything that had happened, you needed it. He’d suggested a park near the city, and now that the truth about you and Trent was out, the idea had finally come to fruition. A run together felt like the perfect choice—a simple way to connect and let go of some stress. The two of you set off, hitting the winding trails. It was just like old times, the air filled with lighthearted teasing as Jack pushed ahead and challenged you to keep up. You hadn’t run in a while, but it felt good—easy, almost. By the end, you were both laughing and breathless, leaning against a park bench to catch your breath.

“Still got it,” Jack teased, nudging you with his elbow.

“Yeah, yeah,” you panted, rolling your eyes playfully. “I let you win.” 

Afterward, the two of you decided to grab coffee at a nearby shop. It was small, cozy, and smelled of fresh beans and cinnamon. You ordered an iced coffee while Jack opted for a cappuccino, and as you moved to go put a packet of sugar in your coffee, you felt yourself relax for the first time in what felt like weeks.That was until you saw him.

Josh.

He walked in with the same smug grin that had haunted your worst memories, his confidence oozing as if he still had any right to be near you. Your stomach churned as he spotted you immediately, making a beeline in your direction.

“My girl,” he drawled, his voice sickeningly sweet as he approached.

“No, I’m really not,” you snapped, instinctively taking a step back, but Josh moved with you, closing the space between you. His hands weren’t on you, but you could feel them, remember them, and the thought made your skin crawl.

“You were,” he said, his tone laced with mock sincerity. “And you liked it… C’mon, don’t play hard to get now.” His smirk was infuriating, a mask of charm stretched over something vile.

“No, you liked it,” you bit back, your voice steady despite the way your heart pounded in your chest. You reached behind you, your fingers brushing the edge of the counter, as if holding onto something solid could keep you grounded.Josh leaned in slightly, lowering his voice but not his smugness. 

“Y/N, come on. This isn’t you. You’re really gonna be with Alexander-Arnold? Trent? He’s just taking you for a ride, you know that, don’t you? You’re just a passing ship, baby.” His words struck a nerve, and you hated yourself for the flash of panic that crossed your face. You tried to swallow it down, but Josh saw it—pounced on it. “I see now,” he continued, his grin widening. “Not his girlfriend, are ya? Nah, course not. You’ll never be. Just a bit of fun for him, huh? No future, no promises. Right? No one even knows he has you bouncing on his dick every night do they?” He mocked. You hated that to a degree that was true. “So why don’t you stop kidding yourself and come back to my bed? You know you want to.” His words were a knife, cutting deep into your insecurities. He wasn’t just attacking you; he was digging into your relationship with Trent, rubbing salt into wounds you hadn’t even admitted to yourself yet. But this time, you weren’t the same person you were when you’d known him. You weren’t alone anymore. You finally had the person you’d wanted all along. You straightened your shoulders, taking a deep breath to steady yourself before meeting his eyes. You wouldn’t go back to him. Not again.

“Just don’t, Josh. Please leave it,” you said firmer than you expected, your voice carrying a strength that surprised even you. Josh was dissecting your biggest fear. Rubbing it in your face that you were, at the moment, nothing but someone Trent was sleeping with. You tried to tell him you were more than that but you couldn’t find the words. The strength you had moments ago disappeared entirely. What were you to Trent?  “I’m not… I’m…” you stammered, your voice faltering under the weight of Josh’s presence. Your pulse thundered in your ears, your back pressing instinctively against the counter as if it could shield you from him. Before you could find your footing, Jack appeared beside you, his steady hand landing on your shoulder.

“All right?” he asked, his voice calm yet firm, his brows furrowing as he took in the scene. His tone was a lifeline, but the subtle tension in his hand betrayed his concern. Josh’s grin widened at Jack’s arrival, like a predator circling fresh prey.

 “Oii, here he is. Big brother to the rescue,” he sneered. “You know this beauty’s been shagging your best mate, yeah? That Trent Alexander-Arnold lad—what a guy, huh?” The words hit like a slap, the air in the room thickening with the weight of his accusations. Your stomach sank, and though Jack’s expression barely changed, you could see the flicker of anger in his eyes. Jack didn’t bite. Not yet. Instead, he tilted his head, his tone measured but sharp.

 “Why can’t you just leave her alone, lad?” His grip on your shoulder tightened slightly, a protective gesture. “She doesn’t want you. You’re an absolute wasteman. Not together anymore, move the fuck on,” Jack didn’t really even know if you were ever with Josh and frankly, neither did you but he was right all you wanted was for Josh to move on. You inched back further, desperate to put more space between you and him. Yet, his mocking smirk only deepened as Josh turned his attention back to you.

“Gonna let your brother fight for you, too?” Josh taunted, his tone laced with venom. He slapped his cheek lightly, a taunting gesture. “Why don’t you take a swing, Jack the lad? One more for good measure.” He cooed. Jack’s jaw tightened, his posture stiffening. 

“What the fuck are you on about?” he asked, his voice low and dangerous. Josh ignored him, his eyes locking on you. 

“Oh, so he doesn’t even know?” he said, feigning surprise. “Got all your little secrets, huh? Fucking his best mate, having them take swings at me. Class act, Y/N. A true puppeteer at work. How many of his friends have you got wrapped around that pretty little finger of yours?” Your chest tightened as the shame and anger bubbled up. You tried to steady your voice, but it trembled as you spoke. Jack tensed understanding that clearly his friends had hit Josh at some point and yet simultaneously he ached remembering that must’ve meant you snuck around with those very friends. 

 “Just fuck off, honestly. Let it go,” you said, your words rushed and weak. You reached for Jack’s arm, hoping to steer him away before things escalated further. But Jack didn’t move. Instead, he shook off your grip and stepped closer to Josh, his eyes narrowing.

 “Why don’t you get it through your thick skull? She doesn’t want you, yeah?” He said, his voice sharp, his patience wearing thin. Josh laughed coldly, his amusement only fueling your growing discomfort.

 “Aw, got all your boys fighting your battles, eh, Y/N?” he sneered, his gaze dropping to you before flicking back to Jack. “Too pretty for her own good.” That was the final straw. Jack shoved him hard, the force making Josh stumble back a step. 

“Fuck you, you piece of shit,” Jack snapped, his voice shaking with restrained fury. The coffee shop went quiet amongst the altercation. Josh straightened himself, brushing off his shirt like the shove had been nothing more than an inconvenience. He took a slow, deliberate step forward, his gaze fixed on Jack with a sickening smugness. 

“Tell Trent the Great he better watch the fuck out on the pitch,” he said, his tone low and menacing. “Just might slip.” The threat hung in the air like a dark cloud, and for a moment, Jack’s entire body tensed, his fists clenching at his sides. But instead of retaliating, he exhaled sharply and turned to you. His hand found your back, guiding you firmly toward the door.

“Let’s go,” he said, his voice low and protective. You let him lead you, your legs shaky as you stumbled outside. The cool air hit your face, and you inhaled deeply, trying to steady your breath. Jack stopped a few steps from the door, turning to face you. “You okay?” he asked, his voice softer now, his eyes scanning your face for any sign of distress. You nodded quickly, though your hands were still trembling. 

“Yeah… thanks, Jack,” you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper. Jack nodded, but his jaw was still tight, his eyes flicking back toward the coffee shop. 

“He’s a coward,” he muttered, more to himself than to you. “All talk. Don’t worry about him.” You could tell he was still rattled, the encounter lingering in his mind as much as it was in yours. But for now, you were grateful for him—for his steady presence, for standing up for you, and for getting you out of there before things spiraled even further out of control.

The tension in the car was palpable, the silence heavy as Jack started the engine.  It was quiet. Awkward maybe. You both just stared straight ahead.Neither of you spoke, eyes fixed ahead on the road as the car began to move. The awkwardness hung between you, thick and uncomfortable. You bit your lip, unsure of how to break it. But then Jack’s voice cut through the quiet, blunt and sharp.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He asked. You turned your head toward him, startled by the sudden question. 

“What?” you asked, your brow furrowing in confusion.

“With Josh,” Jack clarified, his hands tightening around the steering wheel. “What happened? Why wouldn’t you tell me? Why does he always talk about you like that? What went on that I don’t know about?” The raw concern in his voice made your stomach twist, and you looked away, staring at your lap. 

“Jack… it’s just—I don’t know,” you stammered, your voice small. “I’m sorry.” You apologized flatly, not even sure how to describe it all without getting major flashbacks. You had tried to black it all out. 

“What are you sorry about?” he pressed, his voice rising slightly, a mix of frustration and worry. “What happened?” You winced, the memories flashing uninvited in your mind. The things you had buried, the moments you had tried to forget, now forced to the surface. You took a shaky breath.

“He just wasn’t very nice…” you started, your voice barely audible. Jack’s jaw clenched as his knuckles whitened against the wheel.

“Why?” he asked, his voice trembling with disbelief. “Why would you ever go near that kid?” He snapped almost aggressively, angry that someone like Josh was even in your life.

“I don’t know… I just…” you babbled, struggling to find an answer. How could you explain it? The charm that had initially blinded you, the slow unraveling of who Josh really was. Jack exhaled sharply, his frustration boiling over.

“And Trent hit him?” Jack asked, earnest and urgent. 

“Noah…” you corrected him softly, your voice cracking. “Jack, he hurt me. His hands—I can still feel them.” The words tumbled out before you could stop them, and you immediately regretted it. Jack’s head whipped toward you, his expression dark and unreadable. 

“What do you mean?” he asked, his voice quieter now but no less intense. You swallowed hard, the lump in your throat making it difficult to speak. 

“He wasn’t just mean, Jack. He… he would grab me. Too hard. Push me. Say awful things. It wasn’t just words.” Your voice faltered as you tried to keep it together, but the tremble betrayed you. Jack’s grip on the wheel tightened impossibly further, his nostrils flaring as he processed your words.

“He put his hands on you?” he asked, his tone cold and seething. You nodded, unable to meet his eyes. 

“It wasn’t always like that I swear,” you said quietly, as if that could excuse it, though you knew it didn’t. “But when it was bad… it was so bad.” You whimpered recalling it all. Jack’s silence was deafening, his anger simmering beneath the surface. You could see it in the way his jaw tensed, the way his chest heaved with barely contained fury. A stray tear amongst the one’s building on your lash line tipped over, racing down your cheek. 

“I should’ve known,” he muttered finally, his voice low but laced with guilt. “I should’ve fucking known.” He quipped. 

“It’s not your fault, Jack. No one knew,” you said quickly, your own voice shaky and embarrassed. “I didn’t tell anyone. I didn’t even realize what was happening for so long.” He glanced at you, his eyes softening just enough to reveal the hurt behind them. 

“But you’re my sister,” he said, his voice breaking slightly. “How could I not see it? How could I not protect you?” He asked. Tears welled in your eyes, but you blinked them away. 

“I didn’t realize and I know you probably won’t want to hear it but it was Trent…” you whispered hesitantly. At first he didn’t know what you meant but then he connected the dots. Trent got you out of this vicious cycle. Jack nodded tightly, his focus returning to the road. But the silence that followed wasn’t awkward this time—it was heavy. 

“I want to hear all of it.” He commanded sternly. He needed to know how long you let someone like Josh hurt you. He needed to know how long Trent knew Josh hurt you. He was fuming at the idea that Trent and Noah might’ve known and didn’t tell him. And so you began… all of it with Josh, Trent and Noah line after line filling the car with painful memories.

-

The night had started out fine, almost enjoyable, even. You were out with Josh, and for once, everything seemed easy. He was charming, handsome, attentive-making you laugh in a way that reminded you why you had gone out with him in the first place. It was one of those rare moments when you thought maybe things could be okay, even if just for a little while. But then your phone buzzed. You glanced at it, smiling at the sight of Jack's Instagram story. It was a photo of him and Trent, grinning at the camera, probably after a night out. You shook your head, amused by how effortlessly the two of them could lift your mood.

"What's got you smiling like that?" Josh's voice cut through the moment, sharp and accusing.

"Nothing," you replied quickly, locking your phone and tucking it away as though that would diffuse the tension. "Just my brother." You should have known better. The way his eyes narrowed, the way his jaw twitched-he wasn't going to let it go.

"And all his friends you throw yourself at, yeah?" he spat, his voice dripping with venom.Your stomach sank, the good mood evaporating instantly. 

"I don't," you protested weakly, trying to keep the peace. "Josh..." you pleaded, your voice trailing off as you took a small step back. But he followed. Before you knew it, your back was against the wall, his body crowding yours. His hand pressed firmly into the wall beside your head, caging you in. You flinched as the sharp edge of the bricks dug into your skin.

"Do you want to go be with them or be with me?" he demanded mockingly, his face too close, his tone too harsh.

"I'm here," you whispered, your voice barely audible. Your chest tightened with a familiar mix of fear and shame. Josh's lips curled into a cruel smirk as his hand slid up to your neck. The back of your head hit the wall with a dull thud, and you winced.

"Yeah, you're here with me, yeah? Say it," he cooed, his voice syrupy and mocking, his lips brushing yours but never quite meeting them. You nodded, your voice trembling.

"I'm here with you." You repeated. To Josh this was some kind of game, deluding himself into thinking you liked him enough to put up with this. And at the time, you did.

 "And you're gonna go home with me," he continued, the smirk widening. "You're gonna suck my cock, hmm?” The words made your stomach churn, but you nodded again. It was like a script you couldn't escape, a role you didn't want but felt powerless to refuse. That night, you did exactly what he said. You went home with him, you did what he demanded, all the while feeling like you were floating outside yourself, watching a version of you that didn't even feel real anymore. Because that was the thing about Josh. The approval you craved from him was the same thing that destroyed you. You wanted his attention, even though it came with humiliation, degradation, and the constant need to please him. It wasn't the kind of attention you liked, but you couldn't seem to stop it. And it wasn't just Josh. You hated to admit it, but you craved attention in general-especially from men. You hated the way it made you feel, but you couldn't ignore it. With Josh, though, it wasn't attention. It was control, a game you never consented to play but one you couldn't seem to escape.

-

“I couldn’t handle it anymore,” you whispered back in the car, voice trembling as the memories poured out. “And he just… he’s so fixated on the fact that I finally stepped away. I don’t even remember if we were ever really together. He just had control of the whole thing.” Tears welled again in your eyes, and your chest felt heavy with the weight of it all. Jack tightened his grip on the steering wheel, his knuckles turning white. 

“Jesus, Y/N,” he muttered, his voice low and laced with anger. You pressed your hands against your lap, struggling to find the words as you glanced at him nervously. 

“I… I just couldn’t take it, Jack. It wasn’t one thing; it was everything. The way he spoke to me, the things he made me feel like I had to do. It was suffocating.” Jack didn’t say anything at first, his jaw clenched tightly as you continued to tell him more. 

-

The night Josh found out about the car Trent had gifted you was the beginning of the end— not that you fully realized it then. It had been weeks since your birthday, a day Josh hadn't even bothered to show up for. He'd claimed he had training the next morning, something about being tired, but you'd later learn he'd spent the evening with another girl, the kind of betrayal you'd been too blinded by insecurity to see coming. You’d actually told yourself you were split up with him at the time, licking wounds, moving on, that things ended but that was never the case. Not with Josh. He wanted to be in charge and so once again you found yourself in his bed, every muscle aching from the roughness of his touch, the kind of sex that left you feeling degraded rather than desired, his words were sharp, his tone dripping with jealousy and something worse-an ugliness you'd begun to recognize all too well. The room was dimly lit, the streetlights outside casting faint shadows on the walls. You sat there in Josh's bed, your legs pulled to your chest. Your skin still stung in places from the harshness of his touch, and your mind was a haze of shame and confusion. It had been mean-his words, his actions-but here you were, again. Josh leaned against the headboard, his bare chest rising and falling as he stared at you. His lips were twisted into that signature smug grin, but there was something darker in his eyes. He was fixated, possessive, and his words dripped with venom as the conversation unfolded. Your stomach churned, anxiety pooling in your chest. You felt exposed, sitting there in nothing but one of his old T-shirts that hung loose on your frame, the one you'd thrown on in a feeble attempt to shield yourself from his intensity.

"So, what? You think you can just strut around in a car that he bought you?" Josh sneered, breaking the silence. Your stomach turned, and you looked down at your hands. 

"It's my car," you murmured, trying to keep your voice steady. "It was just a gift." You attempted to explain. Josh let out a humorless laugh, shaking his head. 

"A gift," he repeated mockingly. "Yeah, a gift! Because he just happened to feel like buying you a fucking car. You think I'm daft?" He snapped. At the time, Trent was only a friend, sure someone you wanted more than anything but also someone you thought you couldn’t have. You told yourself you had to put up with this instead. 

"I didn't ask for it," you said, your voice barely above a whisper. "I just mentioned once that I hated driving my old car in the rain, and he... he just wanted me to be safe. That's all it was." You whimpered. Josh's grin twisted into something cruel. 

"Safe? That's rich," he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "What he really wants is to take you away from me, yeah? Thinks he can buy you off me and you’re so desperate for the attention you’ll bite. Big bow in the drive, must’ve been all over him, hmm?" He mocked your night that was once a fond memory in your mind, now it was ammunition. 

"That's not true," you insisted, shaking your head. "It's not like that." You repeatedly told him aching both from the current situation and the hurt that you and Trent really weren’t actually like that. But Josh wasn't listening. He never really listened. Instead, he leaned forward, his tone growing colder. 

"You whine my name all night," he said, his voice low and dangerous, "you beg for me to fuck you, and then you have the audacity to ride around in another man's car? Do you even hear how pathetic that sounds?" He quipped. Your heart raced, panic rising in your chest.

"Josh, I'm sorry," you said quickly, the words spilling out before you could stop them. "Please, I didn't mean to upset you. I just-" You apologized but it would never be enough. 

"You just what?" he cut you off, his eyes narrowing. "You just like playing games? You like all the attention any man gives you, huh? You’ll take it even if it means betraying me" He snapped. What you were doing was far from betrayment all things considered but he’d gaslight into making you believe you were. 

"No," you whispered, shaking your head. "That's not it." Josh shifted, moving closer until his face was inches from yours. His presence was suffocating, his hand sliding up to cup your jaw. You froze as his thumb brushed against your cheek, his grip firm but not painful-yet.

At the time, it didn’t register. The way Josh treated you didn’t seem like abuse—it just seemed like your fault. Like you weren’t good enough to have his full attention. You didn’t merit it. You told yourself you deserved it, or that this was just how relationships worked. Trent was off-limits, and you couldn’t stop yourself from returning to Josh, desperate to prove you were worthy of something, even if that something was his warped approval.

“Josh, I promise,” you said, your voice trembling. You sat on the bed, feeling small under the weight of his glare. You didn’t even know why you were apologizing. You just needed him to stop looking at you like that. Josh laughed, humorless and sharp, shaking his head. 

“This is why I can’t put up with you,” he said, his tone dripping with disdain. “You just never listen. Always want more, huh? I thought you wanted to be good for me.”

“I do,” you said quickly, your voice cracking as tears stung your eyes. “I am good for you. I promise.”

“Then fucking act like it,” he spat. His hand on you tightened, gripping your face hard, his fingers digging into your cheeks as he pushed your head back. You winced, but you didn’t pull away. Josh leaned in close, his voice low and mocking. “Look at you,” he said. “Pathetic. You don’t even know what you want. You’re just desperate, aren’t you? Always looking for attention. From me… from all your brother’s friends. Just any lad’s attention is enough to get you into bed, huh? But you’re for me. Understand?” At the time, misguidedly you believed that being ‘for Josh’ meant that he was only for you too then in return but that wasn’t the case. You thought if you were for him, you were good enough at least for someone, even if it was Josh.

"For you," you said automatically, your voice trembling. Tears pricked at your eyes, but you blinked them back, nodding. "I'm sorry," you whispered again, desperate to make this stop. Josh tilted his head, his smirk widening. 

"Yeah, you're sorry," he said mockingly. You didn’t answer, your breath shaky as he shoved your face away with force. You stumbled slightly, catching yourself with your hands on the mattress. Josh leaned back against the headboard, watching you with a smug grin as he gestured downward. “Go on, then,” he said, nodding toward his lap. “Show me you mean it. Apologize properly.” His words made your stomach twist, but you didn’t hesitate, you knew this. You slid down the bed onto your knees, your heart racing as you leaned toward him. It was a disgusting game you’d fallen into, but it was familiar now. You knew how it worked. If you gave him what he wanted, he’d be satisfied. He’d stop being angry. Maybe he’d even like you again—for a little while. And so you did it. You pushed down the shame, the discomfort, the voice in your head screaming at you to stop, and you gave him what he wanted. You thought if you could just make him happy, if you could just be perfect for him, it would all be worth it. You didn't stop until he was satisfied, until his anger was gone, replaced by smugness and superiority. But even as you tried to convince yourself, something deep inside you knew the truth. You hated this. You hated him. But most of all, you hated the way you couldn’t seem to stop chasing his approval, even when it hurt. You craved attention, you craved love, but with Josh, you weren’t getting either. You were only getting control, wrapped in a package of cruelty and manipulation. But for now, you couldn’t see it. All you could see was him, and the desperate hope that maybe, just maybe, he’d finally be satisfied.

-

Jack’s knuckles were white as he gripped the steering wheel listening to you, his jaw clenched so tightly it looked like it might snap. The sound of the tires humming on the road was the only thing filling the tense silence after your confession. You sat beside him, shifting uncomfortably, staring down at your hands in your lap. You had finally told him about Josh—the truth this time, not the vague half-lies you’d fed him before. His reaction was what you expected: stunned, furious, and disappointed.

“You’re serious?” Jack finally broke the silence, his voice sharp. “He actually did all of that to you?” You nodded, swallowing hard. 

“Yes.” You admitted finally allowed. 

“And you just… didn’t think to tell me?” he snapped, the anger simmering just beneath the surface.

“Jack, I—” you started, but he cut you off.

“Do you have any idea how fucked up that is, Y/N?” His voice was rising now, frustration spilling out. “You let me sit there, thinking everything was fine while this—this prick—was treating you like that? And you stayed? For what Y/N?!?” He asked pleadingly confused how you could let this happen.

“I thought that…. That…” You stumbled trying to articulate something you never could before. Something indescribable.  You couldn’t describe the live wire running through your head desperate for male validation. Who’s attention evidently started to matter less and less but it started with your dad’s then Jacks… a game you subconsciously played. Getting Jack’s friends to notice you, your own friends to notice you, anyone to make you feel like you mattered. If they saw you, then you must matter. “I didn’t know how to tell you!” you fired back eventually, your voice trembling. You couldn’t articulate it to Jack. He wouldn’t understand. 

“You didn’t know how to tell me? I’m your brother, Y/N! You think I wouldn’t have dropped everything to help you? To get you away from him?” Tears welled up in your eyes, and you looked out the window, unable to face him. 

“I thought I could handle it,” you murmured. “I didn’t want to burden you.”

“Burden me?” Jack let out a bitter laugh, shaking his head. “You were getting abused, and you thought you’d be a burden?” You flinched at the word, as if hearing it out loud made it all the more real.

“I didn’t even realize how bad it was,” you whispered. “Not until…” You paused.

“Until what?” Jack pressed, his eyes darting toward you for a split second before refocusing on the road. You hesitated, the words catching in your throat. 

“Until T,” you finally admitted, your voice barely audible. Jack tensed at the mention of Trent, his hands tightening on the wheel again. 

“What about Trent?” He asked harshly. You bit your lip, unsure of how to explain without making things worse. 

“That night in the club, way after the party—” You paused, your voice catching. “Josh wouldn’t let it go, even when I said it was over. It’s like he hated the idea of me not being his, like I was his to own and he just wouldn’t let go of my arm and then when I broke away he said all this stuff…” Jack’s eyes flicked toward you briefly, his expression unreadable but his anger simmering just below the surface. “I was upset and then I ran into T. He was there and he was…safe. He was everything Josh isn’t. He was so nice to me. I felt so safe… finally and I just, I don’t know… I kissed him.” You could feel Jack fight back words. You hesitated before continuing, your voice growing quieter. “I kissed him and he told me he couldn’t. He told me to stop because he wanted to take care of me. Someone protecting me, not owning me, not taking advantage of me. He could’ve gone home with me. I… I would’ve let him but he’s not like that. Finally someone gave me attention and protection without it being an exchange for sex or my dignity… handing over my whole soul for them to own and play with. He isn’t like that with me.” You wiped at your eyes with the back of your hand. “And after that… it started to make me realize that Josh shouldn’t be treating me that way. That the fact that I was hiding it from you, from Layla, from everyone what he did to me… It was just so obvious that what he was doing was wrong because I wanted to hide it and yet when I kissed T… it was so obvious that it was right, that it was meant to be shared…I didn’t want to hide that.” Jack let out a long, heavy sigh, his head tilting back slightly as he stared at the road ahead. “You know, eventually… because I…” You got caught up in your own monologue and now you didn’t know how to retract what you said. 

“So, what? Trent just swooped in and became your knight in shining armor?” He asked expectantly and seriously. As if there was something you were missing.  

“It wasn’t like that,” you said quickly, shaking your head. “He didn’t push me or pressure me. He is just there for me. He made me feel… so safe and then things spiraled from there but I wanted to get away from Josh. I realized how bad everything had been when I was with Trent. No one has ever made me feel the way he does… His hands on me feel different. It doesn’t hurt. He’s gentle with me. Not purposely trying to break me.” You sheepishly confessed.  Jack’s jaw clenched again, his thoughts clearly racing.

“Y/N. You’d just gotten out of something so toxic, and then you go straight to Trent. Why…” He asked pleadingly. Jack was struggling to understand why you were so insistent on having a man around you and you’d ask yourself the same but you didn’t like the answer populating in your brain. You wanted to blame your mum’s passing, your dad leaving, Jack still treating you like a little girl but you knew the real blame fell to you. To you, putting yourself in these situations. If it was another girl, you wouldn’t judge so harshly, you’d empathize and tell her Josh was manipulative and abusive, that’s not her fault, but your inner critic was too cynical for that. 

“I know it doesn’t sound great.” You tried to backtrack feeling like you didn’t do a good job explaining and Jack could sense you trying to rectify it all. But for him it was a very clear picture and a very clear picture he didn’t like.  

“Y/N… Doesn’t that seem… I don’t know, like maybe he took advantage of the situation?” Jack asked you with disappointment laced in his words. He looked almost sad. And truth be told he was sad, because he didn’t want to believe that. 

“No,” you said firmly, surprising both yourself and Jack with the strength in your voice. “He didn’t take advantage of me, Jack. He didn’t manipulate me. We... We… we did this in our own time. He wasn’t waiting in the wings. He didn’t even want to that first night because he found me sobbing in the club. He didn’t do anything wrong. Not to me. He’s not Josh.” Jack glanced at you, his expression conflicted. 

“Yeah, well, that’s a low fucking bar, isn’t it?” Jack quipped. You sighed, exasperated. 

“He’s nothing like Josh,” you said quietly but resolutely. “He’s kind. He’s patient. He doesn’t make me feel like I’m walking on eggshells all the time. Jack, I know you’re worried, but Trent is… he’s different. You know he’s not like that.” You were practically begging Jack to believe you. Believe you that Trent didn’t come into your life at the wrong time, but a part of you had never really taken a look at this very clear picture Jack was seeing and right now, in the back of your mind, it was starting to make you anxious. Jack didn’t respond right away, the tension in the car thick enough to cut with a knife. Finally, he exhaled through his nose, shaking his head. 

“Alright,” he muttered. “And I know he’s not Josh but I worry about you. Why do you need them? Y/N… you’re so amazing. These guys, they’re not what makes you, you.” He sighed, flashing a quick glance over to you. You looked solemn and defeated, something he wasn’t sure he had noticed before and yet he began to wonder if it had been there the whole time. “Y/N… I want you to do what you want. I want you to be in a relationship with someone because you want to be, because they think you’re so fucking perfect, beautiful, intelligent…” And as Jack began to rattle off all your best attributes, he realized it was all the things Trent had always called you. He sighed. “I want them to value all the things that you are, that make you, you… And if that’s Trent, low it I guess. If it makes you happy.  But if he ever—and I mean ever—hurts you…” Jack’s voice strained again just getting angry by the mere thought of it. 

“He won’t,” you said firmly, cutting him off. Jack shot you a sidelong glance. 

“Yeah, well, we’ll see. I still don’t trust him, not completely. Why wouldn’t he fucking tell me about Josh…” He asked open endedly into the abyss of the car that felt like the roof had been blown off with all the tension. 

“I asked and I’m sorry. But you don’t have to trust him,” you said softly. “You can trust me.” Jack let out a humorless laugh. 

“Yeah, well, trusting you is how we ended up here in the first place.” The words stung, but you knew he didn’t mean them the way they came out. You stayed silent, watching as the road lights blurred past the windows.

“Look,” Jack said after a long pause, his voice softer now. “I’m not trying to be a dick, alright? I just… I can’t stand the thought of anyone hurting you again. Not Josh, not Trent, not anyone.” You nodded, your throat tight with emotion. 

“I know,” you whispered. Jack reached over, resting a hand on your knee briefly before returning it to the wheel. Jack shook his head, his expression softening slightly as he glanced at you again.

 “You should’ve told me. I would’ve done something, Y/N. Anything.” He muttered. 

“I know,” you said, a small, sad smile tugging at your lips. “But I’m telling you now. And… I’m okay now. You know… with Trent… he’s good to me.” You cooed.  Jack’s jaw worked as he processed your words, a mix of guilt and anger swirling in his eyes. 

“You don’t ever have to deal with someone like Josh again, yeah? You’ve got me, Y/N. And if Trent’s the one making you feel safe, then I’ll make sure he knows how much that means and how precarious this all is. He can’t fuck with you. But Josh? He’s done. Never again, yeah?” You reached out, placing a hand gently on his arm. 

“Never. Thank you, Jack.” He nodded, his anger still simmering but his protective instinct now firmly in place. 

Jack leaned against the counter in his kitchen, phone pressed to his ear. He’d spent the entire day replaying everything you’d told him about Josh, trying to reconcile his anger with his protective instincts. Now, as he dialed Trent, his mind raced. He knew he needed to clear the air—but he also needed answers.

“Yo, bro.” Jack said, his voice tight but tense. He trusted Trent as a friend but with you, after knowing everything about Josh, it felt different. But after all, he was still his best friend. 

“Alright?” Trent asked hesitantly, he could feel this was a loaded phone call the second he answered. Jack waited momentarily, taking a deep breath ready to say what he intended to. 

“Mate, you’re a good lad,” Jack started, exhaling deeply. “I’ve been out of line.” The admission wasn’t easy, but it felt necessary to start. He didn’t want Trent to feel like this was some sort of attack. After all, he loved him, this was his best mate.

“Nah, Jack, don’t do that,” Trent replied immediately. “This whole thing—me and Y/N—we never meant for it to get this far without you knowing. I swear, bro. I’m sorry for that.” The sincerity in Trent’s voice was clear, and Jack wanted to let it settle, but hearing him refer to you as ‘we’ gnawed at his nerves. 

“Yeah, well, we ran into Josh today.” He clenched his jaw, his tone still clipped. There was a pause on Trent’s end. Jack pushed forward, his voice hard. “He was being a right dick, but then he mentioned you guys got into a fight.” 

“Erm…” Trent hesitated, clearly treading carefully. “I mean, yeah, at that party, showed up, talking nonsense. Noah hit him, mate. Not me. But yeah, I guess the match was also a bit rough too. Kid’s an ass.” He explained roughly. 

“Yeah, understatement,” he muttered. Then, after a moment, he asked, his voice sharper than he intended, “So you guys knew how he was with her?” Trent’s pause this time was longer, heavier. 

“No, Jack,” he said quietly. “Not at first. I didn’t know anything at all until…” He trailed off, exhaling a shaky breath. Jack knew what the next line was. He’d heard it from you in the car. Trent didn’t want to rat you out, but it was the truth. That’s when he found out. “I found out the night Y/N…” Trent’s voice faltered, and Jack’s grip on the phone tightened.

“Go on,” Jack pressed, his tone low and dangerous. Jack wasn’t keen that Trent was holding back. That once again it seemed he was prioritizing secrecy over your safety. 

“The night she kissed me,” Trent admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. Jack’s hand was still gripping the phone as his chest tightened. “But just—hold on, Jack,” Trent said quickly, sensing the tension. Trent wanted to make this right. He knew he had to in order for you and him to work. “Before you say anything, let me explain. I didn’t even know she was there that night. I was out with the lads, and when I saw her…” Trent’s voice cracked slightly recalling it all. It was so out of the blue and yet so blatant. He felt bad he had never noticed. It clearly wasn’t a isolated incident.  “She was sobbing in the club, mate. I went over to see what was wrong, and that’s when I saw her arm.”

“What about her arm?” Jack asked through gritted teeth, though he already had an idea. You told him Josh’s hands were on you but what did Trent know.

“It was bruising,” Trent admitted. “Badly.” Jack felt his stomach drop, his breath catching in his throat. “She kissed me,” Trent continued awkwardly. “I told her we couldn’t, Jack. I promise you. I told her it wasn’t right. That’s not how this started. But I couldn’t just leave her like that.”  Jack stared out the back window, his mind racing. The image of you, bruised and sobbing, made his chest ache in a way he couldn’t describe. 

“So you’ve known about all this for a while now, yeah?” Jack clenched his jaw, speaking after a long pause. 

“It wasn’t like that,” Trent said quickly, his voice tight. “I didn’t let her do anything. She kissed me, yeah, but I stopped it, Jack. I told her we couldn’t—” Trent tried to explain but the initial hurt of you and Trent together at all came rushing back. 

“But you didn’t tell me!” Jack shot back. “You knew what was happening to her, and instead of coming to me, you decided to swoop in and—” Jack started to point blame. 

“Don’t,” Trent interrupted, his tone firm now. “Don’t act like I took advantage of her, because I didn’t. I’d never do that, Jack. Never, and you fucking know it.” Jack gritted his teeth, pacing now. 

“You knew she was vulnerable. You knew she’d just gotten out of something horrible. How do I know you didn’t see that as your chance?” He asked almost tauntingly. 

“Because you know me. You know I care about her,” Trent said simply. Your conversation in the car with Jack and his acceptance was hazy in the back of his mind. He couldn’t hear Trent out. He wasn’t sure he wanted to anymore.  “I didn’t want anything from her, Jack. I just wanted her to be okay.” Jack stopped pacing, his grip tightening on the phone again. 

“You expect me to believe that, bro? You realize how fucked up this all is? He was abusing her and then you found her and hid her away for a couple months fucking her behind my back… And you want to tell me you had no intention of getting with her?” He asked. Jack was fuming. The past couple months, summer into fall and winter seemed fine, he had a girl, you seemed retreated but things were fine, and yet all of this was going on right under his nose. 

“I didn’t plan for it to happen,” Trent admitted. “But yeah, I fell for her. I didn’t mean to, but I did. It happened so gradually. Years bro and then it finally opened up. And I’ve done everything I can to make sure she feels safe and loved, not fucking worthless like that kid made her feel. I know you think I took advantage, but I didn’t.” Jack rubbed a hand over his face, trying to process Trent’s words. 

“Then why’d you hide her. Why’d you hide the whole thing if she’s not worthless to you?” Jack asked but his words weren’t threatening anymore, no, his tone had fallen somewhere between despair and hope. He wanted Trent to be the good guy here. Rooting for his friend but at the same time his brotherly instincts wouldn’t waiver. 

“We didn’t plan to hide it. Honestly, I didn’t know what to do. I felt like a shit friend.” Trent earnestly told him. Jack scoffed exacerbated on the line. “Nah, seriously, I didn’t know what to do because it’s not like it was some hook up I didn’t think about, I didn’t dream about. God, Jack you know I’ve loved her for years. Everyone thinks it was this one way street, that Y/N pined after me but I was there to, I returned it every fucking time, every look, every touch, every word, I hit the ball back to her because… I loved her. And… and finally she finally opens the door for me. Albeit, bad circumstances, but there’s more to her, more to her and I than that. I finally got my chance with the girl of my dreams and I’m sorry it came at the cost of your trust. I genuinely have just been trying to be good to her. Take care of her.” Trent took a deep breath, both terrified yet relieved it was all on the table. Everyone had shown their hands. 

“You should’ve come to me,” he said finally, his voice quieter now.

“I know,” Trent agreed. “And I’m sorry for that. I just… I didn’t want to betray her. She wasn’t ready to tell anyone, Jack, not even you.” Jack let out a long sigh, leaning back against the counter. 

“She says you’ve been good to her. Good for her. Says you’ve helped her. Make her feel loved” Jack confessed coming back to reality. The reality that he knew Trent wasn’t like Josh, not even one bit. 

“I am good to her,” Trent said softly. He said it in a way that Jack knew he was being honest.  There was a heavy silence, both of them letting the weight of the conversation sink in. Jack knew it was time to set his pride to the side. 

“Look, Trent,” Trent said quietly, his tone softening. “I know it’s not my place to say, ultimately it’s on her but…” Jack sighed. “I’m glad you make her feel good. When it’s all said and done, yeah, it hurts, but thank you for making sure she was okay. She’s lucky to have you looking out for her. I don’t want her with anyone who doesn’t treat her like she’s the most perfect thing in the world.”  Trent swallowed hard, the words hitting him in a way he didn’t expect. He didn’t expect Jack to change his tune so soon. “And I’ve seen you embarrass yourself for her for years so I know you think that.” He admitted, finally revealing he saw it all. Trent laughed gently. “She’s a handful, though, mate. Just warning you.” There was a brief silence before Trent chuckled lightly, the sound easing some of the tension between them. 

“I’ve known that,” he said, the smile evident in his voice. Jack smirked despite himself, shaking his head. 

“Good luck, then. You’ll need it mate.” Jack smirked, resorting to a joke at your expense trying to come to terms with this. 

“I’ll take my chances,” Trent replied confidently. Jack leaned back into the counter, the weight of the conversation still heavy on his shoulders. 

“Just… take care of her, yeah?” Jack cooed gently. Images of you flashed in his mind. He searched for all the times he’d seen you actually happy, not drunk at a club smiling and dancing, but happy, safe, at home,  and that’s when this picture somehow clearer than the last, came to his mind. Movie night, tucked neatly off in the corner of the sofa all along, an inch too close, right beside you and underneath his nose had always been Trent. 

“Always, mate,” Trent said firmly. “Always.”

•

Thank you for reading! Please like, comment, or message what you think of the chapter or of what's to come!

Next part - Chapter 19 - Dad xx

[twh-news]

Tom Hiddleston made his glorious debut as Loki in 2011's Thor, which celebrated its 10th anniversary exactly two weeks ago today. Since then, the 40-year-old actor's God of Mischief has gone on a remarkable journey in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, as he grappled with the living in his heroic brother Thor's (Chris Hemsworth) shadow and evolved from villain to antihero. Now, it's time for Loki to step into the spotlight on Disney+'s Loki. Ahead of the six-episode drama's premiere, though, EW asked Hiddleston to take us through Loki's greatest hits.

The audition (2009)

It's well-known that Hiddleston actually auditioned for Thor's titular role. "I remember thinking I should probably do some exercise because Thor is a very athletic character. So I did that, got into his kind of regime and did my camera test, and put on the blonde wig, and swung the hammer," he says. "But I do remember on the piece of paper I signed, it said, 'The role of Thor/Loki.' I thought, 'Okay...' Long-story short: Chris Hemsworth is definitive in the role of Thor. I certainly think so, and the right decision was made on that day. I'm very glad it went the way it went."

Thor (2011)

Directed by Kenneth Branagh, The first Thor contains the scene that truly set the stage for Hiddleston and Loki's post-Avengers breakout. After discovering he's actually descended from the Frost Giants, Loki confronts his (adopted) father, Odin (Anthony Hopkins), about the deception in a harrowing and transformative scene. "That's the creation, in a way, of Loki's status as a villain, is this intense feeling of marginalization and isolation, [and] that he does not belong, that Thor is not his brother," says Hiddleston. "I'll never forget doing that scene because I had such respect, and still do, for Sir Anthony Hopkins, and suddenly I was having to play tennis with him in a very emotional place."

Marvel Studios President Kevin Feige adds: "There's just so much pain and angst in it. I think that is the moment that Tom really got his hooks into the audience."

The Avengers (2012)

Loki has many memorable moments in The Avengers, but Hulk interrupting the "puny" god's egomaniacal speech and pounding him to the ground is the funniest. "I had a piece of wire tied to my ankle and there was a mat on the floor, which was out of shot, and three of the strongest stunt guys holding the wire at the end behind the camera. The experience being yanked out of frame was one I will not forget in a hurry," says Hiddleston, explaining he was the only one in front of the camera when they shot it because Mark Ruffalo didn't perform the role via motion-capture in that first Avengers film. "For about two years after that, I couldn't go through airports anywhere in the world without somebody kind of going, 'Hey, Mr. Loki, I love it when you get Hulk smashed.' It became a bit of a thing in a fun way,"

Thor: The Dark World (2013)

Loki loves to use his powers to guard himself both physically and emotionally, as seen in Thor: The Dark World when Thor visits his imprisoned brother after the Dark Elves murdered their mother. At first, Loki is smug as always and everything seems in order, but Thor calls him out and the illusion dissipates, revealing that Loki is broken and grieving. "There's this love of their mother that unites these two brothers, adopted or not, and they form a kind of unpredictable and unstable alliance," says Hiddleston. "That scene was really key to anchoring that film in something honest and emotional."

Thor: Ragnarok (2017)

Loki learns nothing hurts like apathy when his brother reveals he's completely given up on him in this pivotal elevator scene from Taika Waititi's eccentric and warm threequel. "I think it really affects Loki. He thinks, 'Oh maybe I got this wrong. Maybe I did have a place in that family. Maybe this guy is my brother.' But it was a really enjoyable scene because it was just a very quiet moment with Chris in a very calm space in a big, colorful, spectacular film" says Hiddleston.

Avengers: Infinity War (2018)

After evading death many times, Loki finally met his end when Thanos (Josh Brolin) crushed his windpipe — but not before delivering a powerful speech in which he accepted all parts of himself, the Frost Giant and the Asgardian. "The redemption of Loki as a character was achieved in that moment of sacrifice and catharsis — that after all this time, after all this journey of feeling marginalized and fueled by jealous rage, he would risk his life to save his brother and call himself an Odinson. And I saw this perfect closure in a way," says Hiddleston. "I remember Josh Brolin could not have been sweeter. He was so generous. I walked into the room and he turned around and saw me come in, and just broke into this big wide smile, and opened up his arms, and enveloped me in a big hug and said, 'I'm sorry, man.'"

Avengers: Endgame (2019)

But Infinity War wasn't the end for Loki. Hiddleston appeared as the Avengers-era version of his character for Endgame's time heist. "It was really enjoyable to go back to this version of this character that I played before all of the evolution with those actors who I got to know so well and we'd all been on this journey together," he says. Of course, that Loki ends up stealing the Tesseract and disappearing, setting the stage for the Disney+ series. "Where does he go? When does he go? How does he get there?"

Loki (2021)

"If you've seen the trailer for Loki the show, you will know that Loki finds himself face-to-face with the TVA, the Time Variance Authority, who are an organization within Marvel Comics that govern the order of time," Hiddleston says. "I suppose Loki picking up the Tesseract in Endgame might have caused some concern. It is very exciting. The world of the TVA is a world of bureaucratic order, and of course Loki is the God of Mischief and Chaos. So you have the forces of order and chaos coming together, and that's where our story starts."

Bonus moment: Thor: The Dark World (2013)

At one point in the Thor sequel, Loki shape-shifts into Captain America, with Chris Evans making a cameo, while he and his brother escape Asgard. However, there's a version of that scene in which Hiddleston actually puts on the star-spangled hero's costumes himself. "[That] was a very strange and surreal moment, nevertheless enjoyable. So I got to feel whatever the feeling of wearing that suit [is], which is definitely a moment," Hiddleston recalls. "Then, they played that footage to Chris, and he did his best impression of me doing an impression him, and he does it brilliantly." High-praise from the God of impressions.

[whateverthedragonswant]

Just want to talk about this scene for a second (off the top of my head upon first watch):

Firstly, let's look at how Eddie is dressed. He looks good here, like real good. That's definitely on purpose. (this man is so obviously in love)

Secondly, for all of the naysayers out there that are losing their shit because Buddie is being hinted at even more now while Ana also went bye bye last week (their last chance to be a self-insert in a hetero ship with Eddie in their fantasies, I guess), this is yet another scene where Eddie is providing emotional support to Buck, not just as his friend, but also as something Taylor should be doing. It should be Taylor Buck is talking to about this. Am I saying this conversation is exclusive to a significant other? No, I'm not. But the fact is we still have yet to see any building of Buck and Taylor's romantic relationship aka emotional connection. Instead, we see an episode that starts out with Eddie and Buck on the same scene but not working together or even interacting. Instead we get Eddie and Hen working together (which they had some very nice moments in the hospital before the shit hit the fan). Because the partnerships are yet again being paralleled. Chim is spiraling out due to Maddie's leaving and while Buck isn't, like Eddie said he's the guy "who likes to fix things" and thinks keeping it from Chim that he talked to Maddie while checking on Chim was the best thing for all involved. Hen knows Chim and knows what he was going to choose to do, just like Eddie knows Buck. They purposely went out of their way this episode to show us this parallel, right down to having Hen and Eddie working in the hospital and doing things that no firefighter paramedic would be doing, especially when the show has stressed previously that their jobs end at the doors (which if you think about it, the show keeps displaying that this is not happening this season, first time it was due to the chaos and they were lending a helping hand, now a mass casualty situation has happened and they're again lending a helping hand, they're showing this for a reason). In this episode, they wanted to show us Eddie and Hen while also relating them to the theme of the episode which is who you think you see/know may not really be who you think you see/know. The only time we see someone actually seeing/knowing who is in front of them is Eddie and Buck, Hen and Eddie, Chim and Buck, Hen and Chim, Bobby and Athena, Michael and Athena, May and Claudette, and May and Harry (which I absolutely loved that scene btw!!! We need MORE scenes with them!!!). Josh doesn't know Claudette (or is more being willingly blind I think), it's hinted Buck doesn't know Maddie (or who she is right now) or that Chim doesn't know Maddie, etc. And of course, we have Cassie and Makayla and that whole situation. So besides the obvious convo of the scene, this was definitely an emotional connection scene that paralleled to Hen and Chim's. But it also contrasts with it just as strongly.

For one, you don't have Hen or Chim looking at each other like this:

Instead, you have Hen and Chim telling each other that their significant others are lucky to have them. Purposeful. Dialogue. Because in the Buck and Eddie scene, yes, they discuss Maddie and what happened with Chim but we know Eddie just broke up with Ana and Buck is still dating Taylor but she's nowhere around this episode, nor is Christopher. They are trying to show us the difference, the contrast. Hen is married to Karen and they're together. Hen offers to drive with Chimney but he turns her down with the guise of 'would your wife be okay with that?' Chim leaves to go find Maddie who he loves and wants to bring back home. THE PARALLELS ARE RIGHT THERE. Sometimes, I want to force the naysayers into a lecture room and buckle them into their seats while taping their eyes open and ask them "WHAT FREAKING SHOW ARE YOU WATCHING??? IT'S ALL RIGHT THERE, DUH!!!!" But...I digress.

The point is it's an emotional connection scene (along with vulnerability) that's not just supposed to be friends, brothers, partners, neighbors or whatever other term antis will try to throw into the mix.

Thirdly, this is an intentional callback to this scene:

While there was no "sexual tension" in the 5x04 scene, we have the beers yet again. We have one handing a beer to the other, yet again. We have one reassuring the other emotionally. We also have a conversation about Maddie that turns into a conversation about one or the other. We have Eddie entering the scene first while being the first to talk and bringing something in Buck's direction (aka bringing something to Buck, to the dynamic). We have someone wanting to take a swing at Buck (but vs 3x09, Chim actually did). But this time, it's not night, Christopher isn't there (that we can see anyway though I thought I saw Gavin's name in the credits but I could be wrong), and it's in broad daylight on the balcony. And why? Because the show is literally letting us see now what's been right in front of us all along. Because Eddie (and Buck) are that much closer to where they've been steering this part of the story for two seasons now. They even had Buck and Eddie dressed similarly to that scene (Buck's hoodie is just a lighter color). The only difference is Eddie doesn't have an undershirt on (that we can see) but Buck suddenly does. (which again, I think it's because Eddie is aware of how he feels and while all of his cards may not be on the table right now, he knows; Buck on the other hand I don't think knows, or not that we've seen anyway; whereas in 3x09 Eddie had layers on because he was still sorting through things and wasn't being 100% honest while Buck was so no layers for him; this show makes choices I'm telling you)

It's all right there.

Fourthly, the constant beer sipping. I will admit, this action drove me nuts. The action was just so unnecessary but because it annoyed me so much, it garnered my attention to look at it more closely. Because Ryan is NOT a bad actor, and the show wouldn't have kept that in if it wasn't for a reason. Not only do we get the callback to the 3x09 scene (mentioned above) but Eddie is a lot softer in this scene, even in the way Ryan performs the dialogue. When he says "And you love Chimney", that is all kinds of soft (along with his expressions and snuck-in-there heart eyes). He's reassuring Buck but he's also letting his affection for Buck come through. Eddie is nervous here, but it's subtle, it doesn't come across that way. He is confident all throughout the scene until Buck asks him if he thinks Chim will forgive him. While he quickly reassures Buck (like always, 3x16 callback anyone?), his reaction afterwards and then the whole "Ice goes on the eye, bud" line with the constant sipping showcases his nervousness.

They're literally not even trying to hide it at this point. Like at all. I said Eddie's season 3 arc was peeking its head up and I knew it but damn I will admit I did not expect specific callbacks like this one. They're really out there circling back to stop at all of the Buddie pit stops along the way before finally sailing us home. Wow.

Fifthly, the line here: "When you see your sister, you think of the person you've always looked up to, the woman who's taken care of you." - I know we've all talked about the distinction Eddie keeps making with the word "woman" when it came to Ana, but holy hell this wasn't just another time he made this weird separation, he's literally saying it during this scene where he's giving some serious heart eyes and softness to Buck. He already used the word "person" to describe Maddie which is exactly what would have made sense. There was no reason to add "woman" in there. "When you see your sister, you think of the person you've always looked up to, who's taken care of you." -> that's literally how it could have gone but instead they had Ryan say the line with "woman" in it after using "person". Like I said, they're not even trying to hide it at this point.

Sixthly, there's something with Eddie's expression here and after a rewatch I'll be able to tune into exactly what it is a bit more but something is up here with the line "She's your sister" following Buck's "What was I supposed to do? She begged me not to tell him that we talked":

Plus, I think it's interesting that Eddie later says the line "Or you don't know her the way he does" (when in conjunction with this whole scene):

And last but certainly not least, *drumroll please*...

"This time, maybe she's the one who needs taking care of."

He's fucking telling Buck here 'You took care of me last time in season 3 when I needed it, I'm going to take care of you this time'. And they do the fucking slowest of slow zoom ins to both Eddie and Buck to see if Buck understands how this goddamn callback has now reversed their dynamic, if Buck gets what Eddie was telling him. I WAS FUCKING SCREAMING!!!!!!!!!! Eddie is literally out there putting himself on the line but doing it as close to safe as possible. HE'S TELLING BUCK 'IT'S MY TURN NOW TO BE THERE FOR YOU LIKE YOU WERE FOR ME WHEN I NEEDED YOU'!!!!!!!! (and sadly, Buck didn't get it, or if he did we didn't see it)

And then right after "You think he's gonna forgive me?" (ON THE CALLBACK SCENE TO 3x09 WHERE BUCK APOLOGIZED TO EDDIE, DON'T MIND ME I'M JUST DYING OVER HERE) "No." *then he sees Buck's literal wounded puppy face* "I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Maybe." (aka "Not that you didn't deserve it but I wouldn't do that...you're on blood thinners.") And then the whole "Ice goes on the eye, bud." (because Buck had stopped icing his eye, because Eddie cares but has to be careful right now about how he shows it) Because Buck has a black eye due to Chim taking a swing at him (aka Eddie wanting to take a swing at Buck because he deserved but he would never do that). The show literally chose for this conversation to happen revolving around Buck getting a black eye from a punch that Chimney gave him.

And ladies, gentlmen, and gentletheys, you have your contrast on the relationships between Eddie and Buck, and Buck and Chim.

Buck and Chim are brothers. They have been for a while and we've seen it displayed time and time again. They also have a friendship. Chimney didn't hold back from taking a swing at Buck because Buck deserved it (sorry, I get why Buck did what he did but still, that doesn't make it right).

Buck and Eddie are friends. And according to the naysayers and their bullshit, they're also brothers. When Buck deserved a punch for what happened back in season 3 (the lawsuit arc, again I get why Buck did what he did but I also couldn't blame Eddie and Bobby for being angry), Eddie didn't give it to him though he wanted to (aka Eddie beating up the guy over the parking space). And when Eddie started to lose his temper at Buck (before they were interrupted by the fight over the parking space ironically), he knew then that Lena was right, he needed an outlet for his anger, and went to the underground fights instead while the 118 and Buck went to the rage room. THE CONTRAST IS RIGHT THERE. He didn't want to hurt Buck even though he felt Buck "deserved it". And considering how we've seen the difference in temperaments between Eddie and Chim, Chim would have been the last person to take a swing. But because Chim was affected by Buck's decision to keep things quiet about Maddie (just like Eddie was affected by Buck's decision to cease all contact with the lawsuit back in season 3), he reacted and took the swing.

Literally, these characters' season 3 arcs are coming back and I fucking love it. From Eddie to Athena to Bobby to now Buck (plus Taylor as Abby, and Ana aka Shannon 2.0 being gone now) -- they literally are sailing us into the home stretch.

And we all remember how season 3 ended:

We're literally in the fucking home stretch. We may not get full on Buddie by the end of the season (though I think there's a good chance we might) but Eddie's feelings are definitely coming out this season and we are getting more Buckley Diaz family at some point. IT. IS. COMING.

Eddie is coming for that family, and he is coming hard. And I'm going to enjoy every second of it.

[apocalypticgargoyle]

Hi I need to ask a favor of you... Can we get like,,, the reader trying to set cc!dream up with a friend of theirs and he actually likes the reader so we get like dream trying to say that he likes the reader. Idk if this makes sense but I just want a dramatic like "ARE YOU DUMB" moment. Thank u, I'll exit the stage.

Okay so long story short, I had a series about Dre that I was going to write (like a million years ago even before e!k) and I tuned up the confession scene because it fit with the request. Idk idk. It was back when I was having my romance novel phase. N E WAY. happy reading :) ♡ g

𝐄𝐆𝐎 & 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐏𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍. ♘ 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

± warnings: language, angst, being so overdramatic, mentions of rivals to lovers, being in a shower, kinda cringe ngl

Dream eyed you over his glass from across the table, his legs long enough that he was invading your space beneath the surface. His green eyes burned into you, which you attempted to let roll off your shoulders innocently. Your friend was talking up Sapnap, completely destroying your plan put in place. It seemed like Dream could tell what you were up to as well, and by the look he was sending your way and the tension in his shoulders, you could tell he wasn’t in the mood for it. Sapnap asked the girl beside you how she was doing in her classes and before he could boast about his own achievements, you butted in. “You know, Clay’s ranked fourth in our sociology class.” Dream rolled his eyes as your friend’s brow perked at your statement.

She cracked a grin in his direction. “Oh really? You some kind of a genius?” She joked, tucking a piece of her hair behind her ear.

Dream chewed the inside of his cheek and folded his hands together on the table, uncomfortable now that you had shifted the subject matter to him. “Uh, I wouldn’t say that. It’s an intro course so…” he mumbled. She hummed in response and he wet his lips.

You jumped into the small bit of silence. “Come on, don’t downplay! He’s also helped me pass calculus last year,” you boasted. Dream shut his eyes briefly as if it were taking every ounce of his being not to scold you. You didn’t care.

“That’s awesome! I’m actually a mathematics major,” your friend eased. “Maybe if you are some kind of genius you could help me figure out homeomorphically irreducible trees sometime,” she jousted with a small wink. Dream chuckled and you thought maybe… finally… they were clicking. You knew you were right, you knew they were a perfect match. Dream just had to put forth a bit more effort.

Dream’s eyes flashed to you again briefly, as if a symbol of telling you he’d kill you for pushing this. “Oh, I don’t know anything about math really, but Sapnap knows a lot of the math professors,” he turned over with a soft smile, sending your friend back into Sapnap’s metaphorical tract. The two started rambling to each other and Dream shot you a dirty look. “Cut it out,” he bit, barely loud enough for you to even hear. You took this as a challenge.

Another round of drinks came to the table, Dream had yet to completely finish his first as it seemed like something was weighing on his mind. You had gotten into the habit of picking up every subtle tick he had and picking at it. You silently listened to the conversation between Nick and your friend as it wound down, giving you the opportunity to strike up something else about Dream. “So Clay, what was your beer pong average last semester?” You asked, taking a sip from your straw innocently.

He sent you a deadpan expression, but Sapnap answered for him. “Oh, trust me, Clay’s the one you want on your team at every frat party,” he praised. You knew how much your friend liked the whole idea of winning pointless party games.

“I think it’s time I walk you home,” Dream mumbled after standing before you could answer. You followed him out of the restaurant, sending your friend and Sapnap an awkward grin. They had barely noticed anyway; too caught up in their own conversation. You jogged a bit to catch up to Dream as he shoved his fists in his pockets. “What the hell is wrong with you?” He grumbled.

You furrowed your brows, nudging his arm playfully. “What do you mean? I’m trying to get you laid!” You chided. He rolled his eyes again. “Loosen up! Come on, she’s pretty isn’t she.”

Dream sighed deeply. “Of course she’s pretty. Just quit with meddling in my sex life,” he hissed.

You laughed mockingly. “You are so tightly wound!” He pushed the door open to your building. You could tell you were pushing his buttons as he pursed his lips instead of firing something back at you. “You’re such a killjoy,” you joshed, pinching his side.

He swatted your hand away, attempting to ignore you. “Quit.”

“Fine, whatever. Go home and make fast with your hand.” That was it---the last push.

Dream grabbed your arm and yanked you down the hall behind him. You could practically see the steam rolling off his shoulders as he turned a corner and you began to grow tense. You knew he'd never hurt you but the sheer anxiety of what he was going to do next weighed on your conscience. Had you gone too far this time? You'd pushed him past his limit before, but he'd never taken you with him when he needed to remove himself from the situation.

You were shocked as he threw open the door to the communal showers, your brows knitting together in confusion as you began to claw at his hand. "Clay, stop! What are you doing?" You gritted, struggling against his grip. He threw open one of the stall doors and tossed you inside, your back hit the linoleum tiling with a quiet thump and you glared at him with scolding eyes as if to bite ‘don't you dare touch me’ into his skin.

He pursed his lips as if his anger was threatening to boil over and he turned the knob behind you, instantly soaking you and your clothes in freezing water. You painstakingly jumped for the dial and he grabbed your arm again, pulling you inches from his face. "You need to cool the fuck down. I'm serious!" He snapped.

Your eyes felt like they were going to pop out of your head in disbelief at the audacity he had. His jaw tensed as he glared at your features and you drew his arm closer, turning on your heel so he replaced you in the water. His reaction was subtle to the dowsing; instead, he released his grip on you. "What the hell is your problem!" You yelled. This was unknowingly becoming your breaking point. You hadn't woken up that day and realized today is the day I choose violence but Dream's medieval form of communicating with you was striking a hidden nerve.

"My problem? MY PROBLEM?" He let out an exasperated sigh, turning slightly to twist the knob for hot water before laying into you. Why he didn't just turn off the water was unbeknownst to you. "My problem is you!"

You rolled your eyes heavily. "Me?" You tsked at him. "Why don't you get a fucking life-"

"Are you really that fucking stupid?" He bit. Your disgusted look you made sure to exaggerate twisted something behind his eyes. The shower began to produce steam over his shoulders. Dream's hair had begun hanging in short ringlets around his ears. His long-sleeved t-shirt clung to his body enough that you could see every dip in his chest. Every breath he drew in to calm himself down rippled through his silhouette. In the slightest way, it seemed as if the dragon was finally baring his soft underbelly to you.

His hands balled into fists at your look of disbelief at him calling you dumb. He groaned deeply, bringing his palms to his eyes and gritting his teeth. He then pushed his fingers into his wet hair, plastering it back from framing his face. Dream's bright eyes studied you with his features set in stone. "How could you not realize?" He let out a short exhale, his hands seemingly gripping for his own thoughts as they moved with his search of words. "I know you aren't as aloof as you put off. I know you know that I-" he stopped himself short with an aggressive shrug of his shoulders. It was almost humoring to see him standing like a wet dog in front of you and at a loss for words. That big head of his was proving to be a difficult landscape for him to form sentences. "... That I-" he bit into his lip, frustration settling into his brow.

You rolled your eyes again, your wet clothes feeling uncomfortable as they began to shrink against certain parts of your body. The steam from the water was enveloping the two of you in the small space, but your close stance kept a breath of clearance in your visions. "Spit it out, Clay. Obviously, I'm too dumb to put two and two together. You're gonna have to man up and get over it," you snapped and his eyes flashed up to the ceiling.

He gritted his teeth again. "Fuck. What am I trying to say?" He hissed. The gears in his head were beginning to rust with overstimulation, and you could tell. He was hesitant as if debating what would be his next move. The tall man before you was slowly unraveling into unarticulated emotions. The minuscule thought tugged at your mind that Dream was attempting to tell you he felt something for you. It was oddly satisfying to juxtapose your ill-fated seven minutes in heaven experience when you had met him with the close, wet atmosphere you were in now. Even back then Dream couldn't figure out what to say.

He swallowed, his anger had melded into something less aggressive and more inwardly scorning. "I care about you," he blurted, his voice coming out uneven. He wasn't nervous and it seemed as if he'd practiced this in the mirror yet was crumbling under the pressure of you actually standing before him. "I care about you," he repeated, his face still tense and severe.

You were taken aback by his simple statement, awaiting his next move. You didn't dare arrest your eyes from his, your mind blurring about what to say to his confession. You knew that was big coming from him at the way it tugged at your heartstrings, making you blush in the ferocity of the steaming stall. The beat of silence was broken as he took a step toward you, taking your face into his large hands in a gentle gesture. His fingers threatened to snake into your hair as his thumb traced the bend in your jaw. Droplets of water fell off of him to splash against your sopping wet clothing, the warmth of his figure nearly pressed against yours sending rushes of goosebumps across the plain of your skin.

His eyes searched yours as he hesitated, as if savoring being close enough to taste you, yet the anticipation of sealing the fated and quarrelsome air between the two of you with his kiss was nearly too unrealistic for his mind to comprehend. The pad of his thumb brushed lightly against the flesh of your bottom lip as if he were wondering if the shade was their true color, all of his movements completely foiling the way he'd always handled you.

His look of desire and unsteadiness gave him the appearance of an explorer wandering around a foreign planet with the consistency of practice but restraint. You'd heard other girls talking about being with Dream---a fumbling night of drunken fun or a quick use and jading---but the Dream standing before you now seemed to be his own breed. You let your mind flicker to the fantasy that maybe the boy itching to mark you was a figment of him reserved and stocked only for you.

You found yourself leaning on your toes as his eyes began to close, drawing you in with his subtle caress. The water thundered down against him as his towering frame shielded you from the shower, the sound of its stream bouncing off the floor and your matted articles of clothing mixing with Dream's soft breath. As he pressed his lips against yours, it seemed like he was hesitant as if you'd snatch yourself away from his cradling like you always had, but sure enough, your sneakers were glued to the floor beneath you. Wherever you were going in the next few minutes would be to follow his lead.

His fingers dipped into your locks, bringing you deeper into his gesture of passion. Your mind clicked into the reality of the situation as your shoulders sank into a sense of calmness. Your hands found purchase around his waist, wanting to reassure him that you were reading his actions as your fingers traced the lines and dips in his back.

He kissed you with a needy passiveness that bled into the echoing taste of mint, bitter coffee, and the soft embrace of his mildly chapped lips. You'd been close enough to him in the past to dig your nose into his clean scent, but as he pressed against you, it was all you could focus on. He kissed you as if his lips were studying to be experts on your own; a kneading of exploratory gentleness met with a keen sense of wanting to pour everything unsaid between the two of you into this action. It was like he hungrily wanted to know the curvature of your mouth like the back of his hand.

He broke away from you breathlessly and your floating sense of calm clouded and compacted your words. You hesitated to open your eyes as you felt him settle his forehead against yours, not wanting to extract himself from you yet. You subtly enjoyed the fact of sharing air with him as you drew in a deep breath, the taste of him still lingering in your mouth. You wanted that taste to live on your tongue.

Clay stepped back, shrugging out of your hold reluctantly. His hand moved to settle over his mouth as if he was silently apologizing for the suddenness of that action. Your mind was running wild with the thought of him. You parted your lips, stunned enough that you could barely remember how to stand on your own let alone string together a sentence.

He swallowed, rubbing the back of his neck and avoiding your eyes. "I- um," his tongue darted across his lips and you yearned at the fact that you wanted to be pressed against him again, selfishly needing to be tangled among his long limbs or you'd surely die. "I'll see you around," he stated, undoubtedly noticing how verklempt you were and what kind of effect he'd had on you.

He moved to step around you and your eyes glued to where he was standing before. He halted when his shoulder brushed against yours, his gaze turning to trace against your features as you struggled to meet his eyes. You knew he was biting back a smirk as he went on his way again, leaving you to decompose at the mental imagery of him.

You heard the door swing shut behind him and you pushed your wet hair away from your face, turning off the water. As you stepped from the stall, you met eyes with a girl who perked an eyebrow in your direction. She froze in the middle of brushing her teeth, having obviously seen Clay leave, and at the sight of you, she smirked. “Alright, alright. I see you, Elizabeth Bennett,” she winked, swaying a bit before continuing on with her routine.

Dream Tag List: (follow this link to be added ;))

@karlkitten @pluto-dizzz @more-like-reyna @honk-izzie-was-taken @marrymetheonott @froggyy06 @ghoulandghost @savingpluto @marshmallow-babe @drunkpumpkincake @unstableye @tinyegg @behzzyboo @darphobic @twist3dtinkerbell @sparkletash @lindsayhunz @shroomieissmall @mintmochiii @clubfairy

[ketamineharry]

I Love Me - Harry Lewis

Requested - Yes ~ can I request an ethan/Harry one where the reader is curvy (bigger boobs/bum/hips etc) compared to Talia + Freya and the other girlfriends and they are on holiday with everyone and the reader feels a bit insecure and scared of what everyone will think when they look at photos, have photo shoots and insta comments, love you and your writing!! 🤍

Trigger Warnings: Body image issues, self-confidence issues

Authors Note: This was originally requested as a holiday, but I changed it slightly as my most recent imagine was a holiday themed one. I hope you don’t mind!

As you entered the restaurant, an uneasy feeling took over you. Usually, being seen out in public with your friends, and your boyfriend Harry wouldn’t phase you — but over lockdown, you had put on a few pounds. Expressing your emotions in a healthy way, had never been your forte so when the lockdown restrictions hit, instead of going to the local pub to drink your sorrows away, with a group of friends you had turned to eating. Comfort eating had become the norm whenever you felt sad, lonely, happy, or to put it more accurately whenever you felt anything.

While you had been piling on the pounds, Talia and Freya, had been keeping to a strict fitness regime. So naturally, they looked incredible. While you just felt deflated. To make matters worse, this was a Sidemen dinner, meaning that not only were there going to be pictures, but eyes were going to be firmly on your table.

Instinctively, as you walked you grabbed for Harry’s hand. Thankfully, he was slightly in front of you, so you could hide yourself behind his broad frame. As soon as your fingers entwined, you found a sense of serenity; despite how short lived that may have been.

As the others crowded around the table, trying to figure out seating arrangements, you focussed your energy in trying to remain calm. All you wanted was to have a seat on the outskirts, so that you wouldn’t have to participate in the group Instagram photos. The self-loathing from the way you looked in this moment was enough to fuel your insecurities for a good few months, you certainly didn’t need the constant reminder on Instagram too.

Luckily, you managed to secure the seat you wanted. Josh, being the father of the group dictated where everyone else was going to sit. Usually, there was a rule of thumb that you sat in couples; but you had ended up sitting in between JJ and Freya. Harry was on the opposite side of the table, his phone in one hand, completely engrossed in an app, knowing him it was most likely Twitter. However, in this seating arrangement you felt sick. Your one lifeline, although not ridiculously far from you, had been cut off. You were going to have to brave this one out.

The waiter approached the table and introduced themselves. He had a cheery disposition until they made eye contact with you, their fake customer service smile fading as he served you his best judgemental glare. It lasted a split second, but you knew what it meant. The feeling of being out of your depth was confirmed in that look, it wasn’t just you that felt it, it was felt by those looking in on this dynamic of people. Why would they want to associate themselves with you?

“And for the lady?” He asked, glancing over at you again. His demeanour changed once more. You remained silent for a moment, mulling over whether to ask for what you actually wanted or order something that you didn’t want to avoid more disapproving glares.

“May I suggest the chicken caesar salad.” He adds, knocking you out of your stream of consciousness.

“That would be lovely thank you.” You respond. The last thing that you wanted was to cause a scene. In fact, the thing you wanted most was to be ignored, unseen. It was blatantly obvious what everyone was thinking, where their stares ended up… all on you.

The plates of food started to arrive, being placed before everyone. You looked around, envious. Their food all looked insanely good, Talia had mac and cheese while Freya had a vegetarian lasagne. To say that you were covetous, as you chowed down on some lettuce, was an understatement. Just some flavour would have been nice.

The same waiter came back to see if anyone wanted any desserts, Harry ordered a chocolate cake with some whipped cream and Freya ordered a cheesecake, Ethan wanted a coffee, the others weren’t really bothered though. What was made apparent, was that you weren’t even asked by the waiter.

Freya turned to you, a sympathetic look on her face. “Are you ok?” She asked, as she placed a hand on your shoulder and gave it a slight squeeze.

“Yeah, everything’s fine.” You mumbled unconvincingly, certain that Freya could pick up on how you were feeling. She had been sitting next to you the entire time after all.

“Let’s go to the ladies yeah? I’ll just text Josh to let him know what’s going on.” She said, as she retrieved her phone from her bag. She quickly sent the text before she grabbed your hand and directed you to the bathroom.

Freya held the door open for you, as you both walked inside, she went over to the sinks and climbed up on top of them. Crossing her arms. Inspecting you slightly.

“So, spill… what’s wrong with ya?” She questioned, with a small reassuring smile.

You took a deep breath in and out, as you tried to steady yourself. As much as you loved Freya, talking about your feelings to anyone was a challenge that you faced daily. It was hard enough being open with Harry about your feelings, and he was the person that you trusted most. Never mind one of your closest friends.

“I hate the way I look.” You confessed, as you subconsciously started to tug at the dress you were wearing. It all of a sudden felt too tight, too claustrophobic, as if the material had shrunk from the time it took you to walk from your table into the bathroom.

“You and Talia, you are both gorgeous and slim. I’m not that way at all. You can wear whatever you want and look good. If I so much as looked at a belly top, people would be disgusted.”

Freya remained silent, letting you ramble on about how much you hated your body and what you looked like. How out of place you felt and what you wish you could change about yourself. When you were finally finished, she jumped down off of the counter and engulfed you in a hug.

“Don’t you ever, ever feel like you aren’t good enough. You are the funniest person I have ever met. You make me belly laugh every single day. You spread so much positivity, and you make sure that everyone around you feels loved. I am slim, but do you know what… I’d kill for a rack like yours.” She whispered, as she comforted you.

“As for that asshole waiter who has been making you feel like shit all night, don’t think that no-one else has noticed it, because they have. They’re all too polite to embarrass him in public, but trust me, he’ll get his comeuppance. Now, wipe those tears and let’s go show him what a fucking bad ass bitch you are.” She laughed, as she grabbed your hand once again, as she led you back out to the table.

The bill was laid out on the table, the seven cards were placed on top of it as you rejoined the group.

“Here she is.” Harry beamed, as he reached out for you. You went and gave him a hug, before taking your seat again.

As the waiter collected the bill, Harry called him over. “I’d like to give you a cash tip, can you follow me outside so I can draw the cash out?” He asked. The waiter nodded, a gleam in his eye. Harry gave you a gesture, letting you know to follow him.

Once you were outside, how cold it was finally hit you. It made you recoil into yourself.

“Yeah, the tip I wanted to give you was to never, and I mean never try to ridicule my girlfriend about anything.” Harry said, swiftly connecting his right fist to the waiters cheek.

“Run.” He shouted, as he grabbed your hand, your feet pounding on the floor until you reached the car. You were both panting, leaning on each other for support.

“You do know you’re still a ten out of ten to me. No matter what.” Harry smiled, as he placed a kiss to the top of your head. “Now let’s go and get a McDonalds, because I know you’re still hungry and it’s your favourite.”

[warmglowofsurvival]

twenty one pilots talk origins, insecurities, and their sprawling new album blurryface

Since the release of their 2013 album Vessel and it's attendant hit singles "Holding on to You" and "Guns for Hands," Twenty One Pilots have become summer music festival favorites. Which makes sense, as the Columbus, Ohio, duo work hard to give you an entire Lollapalooza's worth of music in one convenient... well, Vessel. Their new album, Blurryface, out today on Fueled by Ramen, is even more willfully eclectic than its predecessor, veering from dance music thumpers to indie rock-rap hybrids to campfire folk comedowns with little regard for your genre expectations. Before signing with Fueled by Ramen, singer/multi-instrumentalist Tyler Joseph and drummer Josh Dun were slugging it out in the Columbus music scene, self-releasing albums and posting songs online. They might have some MTV Video Music Award nominations and Pete Wentz's phone number now, but their basic approach hasn't changed at all; they still just want to impress each other first and foremost. Here's Joseph and Dun on their early days, their new album and the intention -- or lack thereof -- behind their gift for doing everything at once.

When did you guys first meet?

Tyler Joseph: You know, when we get asked this question, Josh and I like to make something up on the spot to try to make the other laugh. We've come up with a lot of great answers to that question, like meeting in prison, or that we were the only two survivors on a train wreck. Josh always seems to be a lifeguard in his stories and he always revives me, which I think is a little odd, but it always gets a chuckle out of me. In all honesty, we met through a mutual friend here in Columbus, Ohio. Josh came out to a show that I was playing with some other people. So, we actually met at a show and he said, "Hey, let's hang out sometime," and that's something that's said all the time, you know, and people don't really follow up on it, but for some reason Josh and I did hang out. He came over to the house and late hours into the night we got to talking about music and what we wanted to do with it.

Josh Dun: We knew at that moment that we'd be best friends for life.

When you first started writing music together, how did you guys know that you had something?

TJ: I think what's cool is that we started out as friends first. When we met each other, I think that we just hung out as friends for about a year before we even started playing together. It is probably pretty important, looking back now, that we'd established that trust with each other, just as friends. We developed a cool relationship and then everything fell into place where we were both available to play music together and not with the other people that we were playing with. It just worked out perfectly. I had some songs that I had written that I was throwing together, and I remember when Josh first started playing his songs live, it all came together and made sense for me.

JD: The first time I actually met Tyler was at a show that he was playing with a couple of his buddies. I remember, because I had been playing music for a little while, and I really had a specific idea of what I wanted to be a part of in my mind, and I had never really seen what I had in mind until I saw Tyler performing. I even remember thinking, "That's what I want to be a part of." I think it was the very first time that we ever met that I just totally knew that I wanted to someday play music with Tyler and be creative and take over the world.

What was it you were looking for, and what did you find in him?

JD: I think it's just something that's a little bit different I guess. It was like some sort of itch that I couldn't scratch. What I had in mind was something that I hadn't really heard before and that I finally heard, and I was excited about that.

What was the music scene in Columbus like while you were growing up?

JD: I think Columbus has always embraced music pretty well, and I think it still does. By the time that we were in high school and early college, I would say there was a pretty decent music scene here, and from all different kinds of things: people playing house shows, or people playing one of the local venues, and people doing pretty well. We made friends with some of these people, and then there was a time when Tyler and I closed our eyes and kind of dug our own little tunnel. The way that we describe it is that a year later, after getting to reach the surface again to catch a breath of air, we look back and realized how far we've been able to go over that past year.

You pull from a lot of different genres at once on your album. There's some rap on there, indie rock, dance music, and even some ukulele. Is that the goal, to sound like someone's iPod, with all these different types of sounds in one place?

TJ: I wouldn't say that that's the goal. We're not aiming to try to be as all over the place as possible. I think that the landscape of the record is a testament to the type of music that Josh and I like to listen to, which is all kinds of music. We're a product of that generation that has access to everything, and it comes down to it whenever Josh and I are working on a song. There's a lot of outside pressure, a lot of outside opinions, especially going into the second record, and I think that we work pretty hard to all block those things out and ask ourselves the question, "Do we like this?" So I wouldn't say it's intentional, like, "Let's try to make a record that sounds so sporadic and so crazy." I think that's just the product of what we like in music.

How do you guys make it all work together as one song or one album? Because you'll jump from a song like "Polarize," which is dance music, to a song that's more of a ukulele, acoustic type of sound.

TJ: Like I said, it's not like an intentional. It just kind of all happened. We wrote the record on the road. We were very influenced by our live shows and being in front of fans every night. There's a couple things that we tried to do: one, we want to say this on our record because we didn't say it on our last record. But then at the same time we're very influenced by what we wished we had in our live set. That is very important to us, and we're very intentional about which songs go where, and when you're writing a record on the road, you kind of get to answer the questions, "What is it that our live set needs? Which song do we wish we had in this moment here?" So I guess a lot of this record is just an answer to that, kind of a rebuttal to what it is that Josh and I think our live set needs.

The first single, "Fairly Local" — I believe it has the line, "this isn't for the radio", which is a strange thing to say on your single. But it does seem to be a song about worrying that you might lose contact with where you're from. Is that something you're concerned about?

TJ: I guess there's always that fear that you're going to change as a person. But, also whether or not you're in the spotlight making music, you're going to change, too. I mean, Josh and I are right now sitting in Columbus, Ohio, at my house and we love it here. It's our hometown and it will always be. So, I think in the song "Fairly Local", it's more metaphor. We had a lot of conversations with a lot of people who like listening to music or using music to get through tough times. If anything, I think Josh and I learned when we were traveling the world during the last album cycle that everyone's the same, everyone feels the same issues. So, it's kind of a way of getting on the same level as these people and telling them, in a sense, we understand what you're going through.

What does the title Blurryface mean to you?

TJ: Blurryface is this guy who represents everything i'm insecure about. Honestly, we all know that we're insecure about certain things, but what we don't totally understand is how those insecurities affect our day-to-day life. So it's helped me give my insecurities a seat at the table, so I can stare across at him and give him a name and face and personality. I can kind of retaliate and I can see these insecurities for what they are, and so this guy named Blurryface is someone that i'm trying to understand — but also defeat every day.