#Class 334

[emilytakesphoto]

trains rights

[national-rail]

[mp3-pplayers]

[uhhlifeig]

Clench - March 10 - word count: 334 - @wolfstarmicrofic

“Here’s to another year!” James cheered, raising his glass of Firewhiskey. “Here’s to the birthday boy!”

A collective cheer went up amongst the friend group. “To Remus!”

“To me,” Remus sighed, downing his drink. “To seventeen.”

He got up from his chair with an excuse about using the restroom, but he only made it a few steps out of the common room before sinking onto the floor.

Then, there were footsteps approaching him.

“Moony, what’s wrong?” Sirius frowned, sitting down clumsily beside him. “It’s your birthday!”

“Yeah, that’s what’s wrong,” Remus muttered. “Seventeen, Padfoot. We have a year left like this.”

“In school?” Sirius asked hesitantly.

Remus looked at him like he was a bit plastered (he was definitely more than just “a bit” plastered). “No, together.”

“A year left… together,” Sirius said, trying to piece the words into a sentence that made sense. 

It just sounded wrong.

“Well, you and James and Peter have plans for a London flat, no?” Remus barrelled on, oblivious to Sirius’s inner turmoil. “So I dunno what to do. I might get a janitorial job, if I’m lucky-”

“What?” Sirius asked, bewildered. “When did we ever say you wouldn’t be with us?”

“It was assumed.” Remus’s ears burned in the cool night air. “I was never mentioned, so-”

“Pish-posh, Moony,” Sirius scoffed. “You’re the mastermind. And I love you, so-”

“Even when I look about fifty at twenty-nine?” Remus asked. “Even though I’ll be ugly and deteriorating?”

Sirius clenched his jaw for a moment before relaxing and nestling into Remus’s side. “Of course, Moony. And besides, you’d look rather dashing with grey hairs and wrinkles, don’t you think?”

“I’d look like an English teacher,” Remus snorted, wrapping his arm around Sirius. “All ‘whoopity-doo’ and ‘Hello, class, we’re reading the Odyssey today. Tell me the symbolism-’”

“Okay, okay, Moons, I get it,” Sirius huffed, shaking with laughter. “Very professor-y of you.”

Remus hummed contentedly. “Yeah, well, I love you too, Pads.”

“Until the stars die?”

“And past that, too.”

[starchaserwrites]

@jegulus-microfic / february 14: lips / word count: 334

James Potter has an obsession with chapsticks, Regulus can bet he probably has one of every flavour in existence, and wherever he goes he always carries at least one. Regulus shares classes with him all week and this week's summary was:

Monday: Cherry - which he applied while frowning and trying to answer a particularly complex question.

Tuesday: Grape - as he leans in close to Regulus to ask the result of number 4.

Wednesday: Marshmallow - just before saying goodbye to Regulus. 

Thursday: Mint cocoa - while offering him his homemade brownie.

Friday: Mango - while asking Regulus what he's doing for the weekend and inviting him to a party.

Not that Regulus is keeping track, but who uses so many at the same time.

So on Saturday, with a few drinks in him and watching from the kitchen door as James wins a game of beer pong, Regulus feels more bold than usual. The moment the older boy starts applying lip balm is the only signal he needs to approach.

"You use a lot of chapstick," is the opening line he decides to use. 

"Regulus, you came!" he replies excitedly and gives him a hug. From this distance it is possible to smell the sweet smell of caramel (maybe). "And yes, if I don't use them, I feel like my lips are dying, plus they taste wonderful," he continues, before applying some more moisturiser.

And the younger Black has never pretended to be a strong man when it comes to Potter, so when his eyes linger as the other slides the golden-brown stick across his lips wishing and wanting to be it, it shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone.

"Do you want to try?" asks James when he catches him looking.

"Sure." 

The thing is, Regulus was waiting for him to drop the small cylinder into his outstretched hand, not for James to hold him gently by the chin as he slowly approaches.

"Is this okay?"

And what can Regulus do except nod.

Confirmed, salted caramel.

[kunugigaoka]

White Day '16 Gacha

★5 Karma, Gakushu, Isogai, Maehara, and Chiba, and ★4 Takabayashi Medal appeared in the 'White Day '16 Gacha'!

Event Period

From 3/10/2016 (Thu) after maintenance to 3/24/2016 (Thu) before maintenance

List of Revived White Day Medals

★4 【Secret Patisserie】 Akabane Karma

★4 【White Day】 Shiota Nagisa

★3 【White Day】 Yoshida Taisei

【Sweet Gift】 Akabane Karma

Special effect for the "School Festival Time" event with 5x attack and HP boost!

Maximum 14x with skill level up!

Attribute: Body

Type: Trap

Cost: 13

Max HP: 4337

Max Attack: 1552

Time: 321

Profile:

Although he doesn’t show it outwardly, Karma is deeply dedicated to assassination with extraordinary effort.

It is because of this hidden “passion” that his growth is rapid. Karma is deeply grateful to the friends and mentors who guide him in his own way.

Leader Skill: Trap Strengthening Camp – 3 Nights

Increase attack and HP by 8% for each trap in the deck.

Skill: Maybe I'm kind of serious?

Increase attack power of female characters by 60%.

Active: Victory’s Red Rose

Increase attack power of traps and chemicals by 100% once.

【Sweet Gift】 Asano Gakushu

Special effect for the "School Festival Time" event with 5x attack and HP boost!

Maximum 14x with skill level up!

Attribute: Heart

Type: Knife

Cost: 13

Max HP: 3454

Max Attack: 1685

Time: 303

Profile:

Within the school, Gakushu is constantly bathed in “respectful” gazes.

However, he too thinks of his companions, guides them, and shows genuine respect to those he recognizes as worthy.

It is because of these qualities that he has become someone worthy of being called an exceptional individual.

Leader Skill: Kunugigaoka Education – Advanced Training

Increase attack and HP of all students except for E-Class by 70%.

Skill: No need to overthink

Deal 200% damage to encircled enemies.

Active: Domination’s White Rose

Increase own attack power by 150% once.

【Sweet Gift】 Isogai Yuma

Special effect for the "School Festival Time" event with 5x attack and HP boost!

Maximum 14x with skill level up!

Attribute: Body

Type: Bomb

Cost: 13

Max HP: 6576

Max Attack: 1543

Time: 300

Profile:

Isogai, who serves as class representative, is overflowing with kindness and prioritizes cherishing his comrades. Every time one interacts with him, the feeling softens in some way, because Isogai’s “warm heart” has the power to soothe others.

Leader Skill: Body and Explosives Advanced Training

Increase attack and HP of body attributes and bomb types by 60%.

Skill: Thanks as always

Place 3 BB grenade traps on the stage.

Active: Compassion’s Pink Rose

Increase attack power of bombs and chemicals by 100% once.

【Sweet Gift】 Maehara Hiroto

Special effect for the "School Festival Time" event with 5x attack and HP boost!

Maximum 14x with skill level up!

Attribute: Technique

Type: Heal

Cost: 13

Max HP: 8978

Max Attack: 1454

Time: 294

Profile:

Maehara, the “Master of Romance,” is very active in his interactions with female students.

His territory now extends even to other schools.

Will the most popular guy in Class E ever experience true love someday…?

Leader Skill: Technique and Healing – 3rd Period

Increase attack power of technique attributes and healing types by 60%.

Skill: Come a little closer

Place 3 first aid kits on the stage.

Active: Fascination’s Orange Rose

Increase attack power of traps and healing by 100% once.

【Sweet Gift】 Chiba Ryunosuke

Special effect for the "School Festival Time" event with 5x attack and HP boost!

Maximum 14x with skill level up!

Attribute: Heart

Type: Gun

Cost: 13

Max HP: 5796

Max Attack: 1428

Time: 334

Profile:

Chiba’s sniping skills have now reached a superhuman level, to the point where even Lovro praises them.

In times of need, he adds a “divine blessing” to his technique, silently and precisely supporting his comrades.

Leader Skill: Operation Time – 3rd Period

Extend all medals’ encirclement time by 3 seconds.

Skill: Might not be able to look cool

Deal 200% damage to encircled enemies.

Active: Focused Blue Rose

Increase attack power of knives and guns by 100% once.

【Sweet Gift】 Takabayashi Kotaro

Special effect for the "School Festival Time" event with 3x drop rate!

Maximum 5.7x with skill level up!

Attribute: Technique

Type: Chemical

Cost: 10

Max HP: 5777

Max Attack: 990

Time: 262

Profile:

For Takebayashi, the “Maid Café Black & White” is more than just a restaurant.

He acts as though he is the ruler of that realm, settling into his favorite seat—his so-called “throne”—and enjoying the maids’ service.

Of course, it comes at a price.

Leader Skill: Technique and Chemicals Basic Training

Increase attack and HP of technique attributes and chemical types by 40%.

Skill: Receive and Accept

Reduce damage from enemies by 30% for one turn.

Active: Self-Satisfaction’s Purple Rose

Rearrange all medals without consuming turns.

[gracie-chasity]

A new year. A new school. A new life. At least that is what Clover thought as she was walking up to the large doors of Hatchetfield High. Clover took a breath as she opened the door seeing the main hall running with chaos. Cheerleaders squealing over new cheer routines, the jocks talking very loudly about the football game coming up. The anime lovers talking about the latest episode of what ever anime was hot now. And clover needed to get her way to her locker. “Number 336…okay…” she hummed softly as she walked though the halls. Having her black backpack slung over one shoulder as she was looking at the numbers. “334…335…336…” she counted as she knelt to deal with the turn lock. “56…87…98…87…” she muttered as she jiggled the lock opening up the empty locker.

Dropping off her lunch in the locker and her other notebooks into her locker. Maybe she will decorate her locker some other day but now she had to find homeroom. Once she found her way to the homeroom, she sat next to a girl. Smiling softly at the other sitting girl. “Hey there, this is room 245?” She asked the very modestly dressed girl.

@askcloverghoul

[Grace Chasity sat in her homeroom class, books on the desk and ready for the day. She was early, of course, because Grace Chasity is always early or exactly on time. As class time approached, an unfamiliar girl sat next to her, asking about the room number. Grace's eyes trailed across this new girl, short with blonde hair and red-orange highlights. Wearing a cutesy grey overall-like outfit covered in bats over a simple black tee. It wasn't too much to be concerned about, maybe this girl just really liked bats! She's seen a few people do the same with cats or flowers. Grace smiled in return at the girl.]

Yep! 245, Miss Mulberry's homeroom. I don't recognize you... are you new?

[contentloadingandstuff]

Okay so apparently, out of the 334 people in my semester, 2/3 (including me) failed one particular class (history of state and law in Poland) in the first approach. Nobody got an A.

This is not normal. I refuse to believe that the teacher could be declared reasonable in his test expectations. And that's just the class, the finals are going to be even worse - assuming I even pass that failed test the second time around. I'll likely do that, just to faceplant into the exam. Good times. Good times indeed.

A fic is in the works - pious reader and the Mondstadt cast. But don't hold your breath, my finals are just next week.

But, seeing the way things are going now, it looks like I'll have a lot of time for writing when they kick my ass out the door. That is, between my McDonald's shifts and laying huddled in the corner, crying.

[gpacompris]

Top 50 of March characters of Miraculous on AO3

Generals/Characters/Ships

⚠️ Please note, these are fanfictions that are new or updated.

Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug(816)

Gender : {Female}

Biggest freeform tag : Fluff

Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir (707)

Gender : {Male}

Biggest freeform tag : Angst & Aged-Up Character(s)

Alya Césaire (414)

Gender : {Female}

Biggest freeform tag : Aged-Up Character(s)

4- Nino Lahiffe (334)

Gender : {Male}

Biggest freeform tag : Aged-Up Character(s)

5- Chloé Bourgeois (320)

Gender : {Female}

Biggest freeform tag : Chloé Bourgeois Redemption

6- Gabriel Agreste (306)

Gender : {Female}

Biggest freeform tag : Angst

7- Luka Couffaine(245)

Gender : {Male}

Biggest freeform tag : Angst

8- Tikki (Miraculous Ladybug) (229)

Gender : {No Gender or Non Binary}

Biggest freeform tag : Angst

8- Plagg (Miraculous Ladybug) (229)

Gender : {No Gender or Non Binary}

Biggest freeform tag : Angst

10- Lila Rossi (205)

Gender : {Female}

Biggest freeform tag : Lila Rossi Bashing

11- Kagami Tsurugi (192)

Gender : {Female}

Biggest freeform tag : Angst & Not Beta Read

12- Nathalie Sancoeur (184)

Gender : {Female}

Biggest freeform tag : Angst

13- Juleka Couffaine (153)

Gender : {Female}

Biggest freeform tag : Chloé Bourgeois Redemption

14- Alix Kubdel (129)

Gender : {Female}

Biggest freeform tag : Aged-Up Character(s)

15- Rose Lavillant (126)

Gender : {Female}

Biggest freeform tag : Chloé Bourgeois Redemption

16- Félix Fathom (122)

Gender : {Male}

Biggest freeform tag : Hurt/Comfort

17- Sabrina Raincomprix (119)

Gender : {Female}

Biggest freeform tag : Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence & Chloé Bourgeois Redemption

18- Sabine Cheng (118)

Gender : {Female}

Biggest freeform tag : Angst

19- Nathaniel Kurtzberg (100)

Gender : {Male}

Biggest freeform tag : Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence

20- Tom Dupain (96)

Gender : {Male}

Biggest freeform tag : Angst

21- Zoé Lee (Miraculous Ladybug) (88)

Gender : {Female}

Biggest freeform tag : Chloé Bourgeois Redemption

22- Master Fu (Miraculous Ladybug) (86)

Gender : {Male}

Biggest freeform tag : Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence

23- Ivan Bruel (85)

Gender : {Male}

Biggest freeform tag : Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence

23- Lê Chiến Kim (85)

Gender : {Male}

Biggest freeform tag : Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence

25- Mylène Haprèle (78)

Gender : {Female}

Biggest freeform tag : Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence

26- Max Kanté (76)

Gender : {Male}

Biggest freeform tag : Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence

27- Original Miraculous Ladybug Character(s) (74)

Gender : {All}

Biggest freeform tag : Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence & Aged-Up Character(s)

28- Marc Anciel (71)

Gender : {Male}

Biggest freeform tag : Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence

29- Caline Bustier's Class (62)

Gender : {No Gender or Non Binary}

Biggest freeform tag : Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence

29- Caline Bustier (62)

Gender : {Female}

Biggest freeform tag : Lila Rossi's Lies Are Exposed

29- Emilie Agreste (62)

Gender : {Female}

Biggest freeform tag : Angst

32- Kwami(s) (Miraculous Ladybug) (56)

Gender : {No gender or Non Binary}

Biggest freeform tag : Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence & Other Additional Tags to Be Added

33- Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug's Parents (47)

Gender : {Male & Female}

Biggest freeform tag : Badass Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug

34- Akumatized Character(s) (36)

Gender : {All}

Biggest freeform tag : Chloé Bourgeois Redemption

35- Audrey Bourgeois (34)

Gender : {Female}

Biggest freeform tag : Chloé Bourgeois Redemption

36- Le Gorille | Adrien Agreste's Bodyguard (33)

Gender : {Male}

Biggest freeform tag : Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence

37- Original Akumatized Character(s) (33)

Gender : {All}

Biggest freeform tag : Chloé Bourgeois Redemption

38- Other Miraculous Ladybug Characters (32)

Gender : {All}

Biggest freeform tag : Other Additional Tags to Be Added

38- Nooroo (Miraculous Ladybug) (32)

Gender : {No gender or Non Binary}

Biggest freeform tag : Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence

40- Duusu (Miraculous Ladybug) (31)

Gender : {No Gender or Non Binary}

Biggest freeform tag : Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence

41- André Bourgeois (30)

Gender : {Male}

Biggest freeform tag : Chloé Bourgeois Redemption

41- Amélie Graham de Vanily (30)

Gender : {Female}

Biggest freeform tag : Slow Burn

43- Jagged Stone (Miraculous Ladybug) (29)

Gender : {Male}

Biggest freeform tag : Angst & Chloé Bourgeois Redemption

44- Wayzz (Miraculous Ladybug) (27)

Gender : {No gender or Non Binary}

Biggest freeform tag : Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence

45- Anarka Couffaine (26)

Gender : {Female}

Biggest freeform tag : Angst & Chloé Bourgeois Redemption

46- Trixx (Miraculous Ladybug) (22)

Gender : {No gender or Non Binary}

Biggest freeform tag : Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence

47- Principal Damocles (Miraculous Ladybug) (21)

Gender : {Male}

Biggest freeform tag : Slow Burn

47- Tomoe Tsurugi (21)

Gender : {Female}

Biggest freeform tag : Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence

49- Original Kwami Character(s) (20)

Gender : {No Gender or Non Binary}

Biggest freeform tag : Slow Burn

49- Pollen (Miraculous Ladybug) (20)

Gender : {No gender or Non Binary}

Biggest freeform tag : Chloé Bourgeois Redemption

[theharmonious13]

329 - Morning Announcements: Day 3

Wada liking rainy weather makes sense

Hama enrolling for classes, ooo sounds fun

330 - Dance Practice

Hama is the older parent who is trying so badly to understand his younger daughter's modern inters/modern world 😭😂

I like the fire sound effect, and the editing red overlay for it

Omg the acoustic music??? Are we getting a Watari AMV???

I want a script style description of what the dance is gdi

Also someone (including me) HAS to use this music for either a Watari or Chapter 4 animatic video istg

I only just realised Watari's sprite is jumping/stomping lol, sounds like a very passionate dance I love it

I need Watari on a STAGE and I need to see her live in concert gdi

Omg Hama gushing about Watari's performance and Watari being giddy about it LET'S GO

Watari officially cast in the next Avatar the Last Air Bender spin off jk

I saw someone comment on the YouTube video "Fire is my bitch" ~ Watari I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS GOING TO BE A REAL QUOTE-

Watari honey, you are also great with words dw

That said I love how she finds movement a great away to communicate with other people

Watari saying she's great with movement better not be relevant later if she's a murderer

Dancing is badass ✨

Watari is going delusional/burning out real time

331 - Seclude

Oh no don't tell me all three of the quiet boys (Ojima, Wada and Hasegawa) ARE ALL AFRAID OF THE DARK 😩😩😩

We are diagnosing the whole cast with anxiety at lighting speedTM

Is this triggering any tragic backstory- abuse memories?

Hiroaki is Ojima dies while you're guarding him I'm going to kill you- I mean what?

332 - Paranoia

Tamba has Ibuki Mioda levels of super hearing? Eyebrow raise

Tamba is also losing itTM

I didn't know this motive would be THIS devastating for the cast

Guys what room are they in? I need to take notes so bad 😩

333 - After School Special

I like this new version of the student council (I'm totally not biased) <Hama is better than Okazaki confirmed>

At this rate Watari literally has fire powers lmao

The most structured meeting yet, all we had to do was wait for seven people to die 😭😂

How are they going to cover everything? Alot of topics and less than ten minutes watch time to get through them all

37% attendance and majority are on the staff ✨

I love Hama's attitude of 'if one person cares about what I teach then that's enough for me' lmao

Wada wanted do something on his own terms (+1 relatability point)

Oh no the muteness is still happening 😩

Omg if Wada is the victim, gets stressed out and can't scream via panic voice strain we are so doomed

I love Watari wanting Yanagi to do the school cafe but not add him to the staff lmao

Project Eden's Garden flashbacks

Hama and Mai better get the chance to play darts together 😤

Omg Wada wielding the PC like Chihiro + Alter Ego hehe

334 - Short Program

All I got was 'Practicing steps' I'm about to not understand any of the lingo Yanagi is about to use 😭

Okay I now get the difference between the two different categories that's good

'It's all about control' Yanagi you better not kill someone istg

How points are calculated is where you lost me Yanagi 😭

Aww he's stuttering, Hayashigeki man 🥺

SHE'S GOING TO WATCH HIM COMPETE!? HE'S FLUSTERED, REPEAT LINE ABOVE ^^^

"Do you think they'd give us a literal ice rink if we asked nicely?" Mai 😭😂

~~~

"(My coach) would call me an idiot" Yanagi

"Good point, moving on." Mai

Mai coming in with the sass 😂

Mai called Yanagi a giant nerd 🥺

Mai becoming the figure skating coach like a girlboss ✨

On one condition? Ooo this is about to be good

~~~

Student Spotlight: Ojima Takeshi

I watched this one out of order, I saw the length of the video and had to know wtf was going on

He inhales DIDN'T SHOW UP?

I didn't know that was a thing you could do 😭

I had thought initially it would be an act of defiance instead of spacing out, but both reasons are very amusing nonetheless lol

Monomoko Voice: "You are not Ojima Takeshi" 😭😂♥️

I love Hama coming in, this is the most memeable episode ever lmfao

I love the way Monomoko says "What?" in this scene

We finally rallied to get Ojima and this is out reward gdi

335 - Headspace

Bro you OFFERED OUT OF KINDNESS TO GUARD HIM DO NOT LEAVE HIM ALONE WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

336 - Spicy

Title was red and featured my absolute favourite rarepair, I admit to watching this one out of order too. Prepare for an excited Watari style ramble/essay about this packed three minute episode

My irl initial reaction to seeing watching this episode was high pitched fangirl screaming once the episode ended 😭♥️

Words can't summarise how much I love these two interacting, they can literally say ANYTHING to each other and I'm still happy. They match each other's energies super well

Watari's compliments to Mai 🥺

My heart is aflutter at Watari's romantic ramble to Mai... she's so sweet 😭♥️

Mai's response 😭😭♥️

I want to print the dialogue of this whole episode on my wall istg

Inhales

OMG WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY GOT AN EXPLICIT EPISODE TO INTERACT TOGETHER AND WATARI BASICALLY CONFESSED HER FEELINGS/ADMIRATION TO MAI

WHAT DO YOU MEAN WATARI LOVES MAI SO MUCH SHE FALLS INTO 'I DON'T THINK YOUR LGBT SO YOU'LL NEVER LIKE ME AND AS LONG AS YOU'RE HAPPY I'M HAPPY' TROPE!?

I love how the title has a perfect double meaning. Going into I thought it would just be the romance side, but I forgot Watari loves spicy food haha. It feels like a blessing/fanservice to my delusional self that she finally got to try Mai's notorious spicy dish. It was also the ABSOLUTE perfect set up for Watari to talk to Mai about her feelings

The yuri angst when Watari said 'you don't have to respond' after confessing in a roundabout way

And then Mai responded after some silence 'you shouldn't sell yourself short'

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I am an absolute SUCKER for pay offs like this, and for the three way love triangle between Mai, Yanagi and Watari (I know Watari and Yanagi don't have any romantic chemistry because obviously Watari is a lesbian but they're love rivals, and they have GREAT platonic chemistry). I will always talk about Chary Dance being one of my favourite Tetro episodes EVEN BEFORE I GREW TO LOVE WATARI AND YANAGI AS CHARACTERS IDC <3. Also also Yanagi at your service and those group of episodes are also my everything for these three.

I feel like the fire dancer and figure (ice) skater both falling for the same person is iconic. Mai is the perfect partner for both of them, and what I'm about to say is cheesy but idc, I'm passionate about these three. Mai's ice cold exterior and fiery passion to do what's right by her/protect others is a perfect combination of both Watari and Yanagi in a round about way. They both love her cooking, and they both genuinely love and care for who Mai unapologetically is. I can't even ramble enough to summarise my feelings on why I think these duos/trio works so well.

Literally Yanagi and Watari both got an episode featuring them practicing their talents, how symbolic/iconic is that?

If Mai dies this chapter (which I have predicted to happen) before anything more happens with Yanagi or Watari I WILL cry

[national-rail]

See pinned for more info!

[weepingtacotyrant]

Is there a self insert character in The Heart of Thomas?

One of the questions about The Heart of Thomas that was asked in class that I don't think was widely discussed was if we are meant to identify with one/many of the characters. Remembering the brief discussion in class, it seemed that we were unable to agree on who if any character we were meant to identify with. Having had some time to think about it, I now think that we aren't actually meant to identify with any character at all.

Given that the target audience is young girls, we should expect that a self insert character is portrayed as a girl, even though they are a boy, in order to be easier for the target audience to place themselves into the character. I do not remember any instances where either Juli or Oscar are treated like girls.

Erich is treated like a girl stand in multiple times throughout the book (pg. 78, The first tea party starting on pg.112, and pg. 197 to name a few), but he is also very clearly treated and portrayed like a boy in other parts of the novel (pg. 68-73, pg. 104-107, and pg.334 to name a few). While this alone might still point to Erich being our stand in, I think his relationship with Juli fully disproves this theory. I can not personally recall a single time that Juli treats Erich like a girl. Every other character at some point treats Erich like a girl, but not the person that is his main love interest within the story. If Erich were our self insert, we would expect Juli to feminize Erich at least a little bit. Since he doesn't I find it hard to believe that Erich would be the intended self insert.

The only other character worth mentioning as a potential self insert is Ante. I think we can disqualify him on the grounds that he is a minor character and is rejected by his love interest (pg. 190) and scorned by Juli (pg. 324). I find it hard to believe that someone with such an unhappy ending would be the intended self insert.

So, the apparent lack of an intended self insert leads me to believe that we aren't actually meant to enter the text through any character. Instead, I think we are meant to enter the text through the viewpoint of an omnipresent observer.

In all of the media I've consumed with a clear self insert, we view almost the entire story from the insert's perspective. This is very much not the case in The Heart of Thomas, as we often jump around from scene to scene, never sticking on to just one character. Rather, we seem to view absolutely everything important that happens during the story. Practically nothing happens between scenes.

This viewpoint allows the reader to have both intimacy and distance with the text. We enter the text by seeing every detail of what's happening, along with the interiority of all of the characters. This intimate level of detail makes it much easier to connect the experiences that the characters are having to your own. However, by not identifying with any character entirely within the story, you have a safe distance from the happenings.

Essentially, this viewpoint creates a safe perspective for the reader to explore the very heavy themes present in the book. We can engage with them and even resonate with them, but they are not happening to "us", so we are safe. I think this is why Hagio Moto gives us this viewpoint and chooses not to prime us to identify with any character.

[lazycowboynerd]

Ngl I almost screamed on page 334 of Unsouled. Ngl I was whisper shouting WHAT THE FUCK like 20 times in class and my tablemates were mildly concerned for my well-being. Like Starkey low-key sucked before while being a revolutionary but now I genuinely want to dispose of this son of a bitch

[archivalofsins]

Huh- wild week so far. Well, I guess this is less about this one week and more about the past three years.

On top of yesterday, I had a disability court hearing today. Something that had been stressing me out for a while in private.

That got postponed for later due to paperwork issues. Yet at that brief meeting it became abundantly clear to the judge, my mother, my sister, a friend, and their mom-

Yep, still disabled. Most definitely.

So, let's postpone until you get the representative paperwork that is required by law as of eight days ago in because you cannot do this without one.

Then after that my sister discovered that the psychiatrist who's been purposely blocking me from disability and accommodations for going three years as of 08/17/24. This woman is literally mentioned in the court document 334 times and the document itself is a total of 375 pages. Yeah that person became a limited liability psychiatric specialist. Something that means she is protected when it comes to cases of malpractice.

Neato. Love to see a bad bitch winning, gaslight, gatekeep, get legally protected from screwing over your patients by becoming limited liability~

That psychiatrist who I have mentioned here before was mentally abusive, dehumanized/infantilized me, withheld my diagnosis forms (for several months after testing completed), tried to get me institutionalized by claiming I was suicidal because I stated I was cutting ties with her after getting said forms, and retroactively changed my diagnosis after I cut ties while claiming I hadn't done that despite the fact I sent her a formal sign and dated letter stating I was doing that.

This is the state of american mental health care if you're black. I suppose-

Yet, some know-it-alls will still go if you have x why aren't you diagnosed. Prove it go on.

I've been in what can only be referred to as Schrodinger's diagnoses since 2022 because of this one woman. This one psychiatrist. Who for all I know is legally protected from the consequences of her actions now. Like the things she actively choose to do which includes lying Social Security Administration with malicious intent which is perjury.

Something that has led to several ever postponing court hearings based on her words alone. Each time going well maybe it will be over after this. Maybe, this will be the last time. Even worse I'm pretty sure if I was still living in the city where I was born (where it's difficult to even get a mail in ballot for some people), this may not have even gotten as far as being seen by a judge.

I genuinely thought well that's just how things are for African Americans for like the past several years. Because it is this lady's actions weren't new to me when she did it yeah it was terrible but I literally said multiple times well that's just how it goes.

Until this phone call today where several people went hey these are actually egregiously horrid circumstances and this bitch is insane.

She deserves to be sued. So, at this point, if anyone tries to act like early diagnosis isn't a privilege afforded to a lucky few- They can honestly kiss my whole ass. I don't have time to explain the intersectionality of race and class when it comes to the mental healthcare one is capable of obtaining be it through school, vocation, or familial intervention outside of what I'm typing right now.

Which is the most extreme case in my circle of associates. Even my mother was like "Oh my god she never told why didn't you explain in depth." to which I went oh yeah I forgot about that like it was just a casual thing.

Because everything else is fucking outlandish the therapist before her refused to test me because I could hold a conversation and believed critical race theory shouldn't be taught in schools which dates that interaction rather well. At that point the bar was in the fucking in the fucking ground I just wanted to get tested. That's not even touching on how most people only test children for the things I wanted to get tested for which was the issue with the critical race theory shouldn't be taught in schools psychiatrist.

My current therapist the one into Milgram has been like oh my gosh I'm just happy you wanted to continue therapy- Because this literally happened while I was seeing her. The person retesting me for adhd was like oh my gosh I'm just happy you're trying again. Meanwhile my ass has been here like it's not big deal shit happens no reason to give up on seeking treatment and lose faith in psychology as a whole. I like psychology people don't always use it right but it is a truly great field of study and tool for navigating life.

Which I still believe is a fair reaction but maybe not a strong enough one considering the last person who diagnosed me literally tried to have me arrested due to said diagnosis. Then went lol there's nothing wrong with her to a court of law in order to make it as difficult as possible for me to get disability or accommodations in any way.

Also learned my visual processing is slow and it's immensely understandable I'm not okay with driving and that's been my Tuesday. I have therapy at four pm.

In short fuck people who commit malpractice~

This shit is not fun to go through but at least I'm still alive. Next year I'll be thirty dealing with the fall out of something that happened when I was literally-

This shit is impressive. What the actual fuck is my life right now? I hope this ends soon but now my family, my friend and her mom are discussing suing this woman. Because got damn this is a lot... Fuck it. It happens to others too probably I don't know any others but like if it happened to me it's happening to someone else probably as I type this because,

Sources

Forbes Advisor: Medical Malpractice Statistics Of 2024 The Law Offices Of Jaroslawicz & Jaros, PLLC: When Can You Sue a Mental Health Professional for Malpractice? Lipkin & Apter: Types of Psychiatric Malpractice

Learning a lot today. Know your rights I suppose. Well I can take solace in knowing some of the prisoners experiences with this have been just as bad. Silver linings you know it's happen to more people because it's somewhat being represented in media for once instead of blatantly fucking ignored.

[misshoneyimhome]

What I go to School For I AU Frederik Andersen Imagine

professor!Freddie x reader; au

Author's Note: Well, I stumbled upon this in my drafts and figured, why not give it a shot… I can't really offer any justification for it, though 😉

Word count: 1.8K

Focus. You had to focus.

"Alright, everyone, please turn to page 334 in your main textbook," your lecturer projected his voice across the packed lecture hall.

And you obeyed his instruction.

As you followed his presentation, replete with intricate terminology and expressions, you made a determined effort to maintain your composure.

Nearly every second, you had to remind yourself of your purpose: you were on the path to becoming an architect.

However, these classes weren't a cakewalk. Especially when you laid eyes on your new professor, there was no chance you'd make it through the day without your thoughts straying.

_

It all started during summer when you saw him for the first time.

He was the son of your father’s colleague, and you’d all been gathered for a dinner party with the office.

At this point, he was nothing but a simple stranger to you. A stranger named Freddie.

And Freddie had been utmost friendly, and when the men of the firm talked business, the two of you automatically turned to strike up a conversation, being the only “children” there; or you were the only plus ones that weren’t wives or husbands.

Initially you weren’t even supposed to be there but given that your father was divorced from your mother and had no one else to bring, he’d argued that it’d be good for you to come out to network since you were soon entering the real world completely.

And it’s not like you didn’t know any of them. You’d been at your father’s firm several times, even one summer as an intern to gain some experience for your studies and to earn some money for moving out.

And as the night wore on, you and Freddie found yourself engaging effortlessly in deep conversations about anything and everything.

You learned that he’d been studying architecture just like you (the conversation starter was rather obvious) but now he’d been searching to go in a different direction. What exactly that was he wasn’t entirely sure of yet.

Perhaps he was a few years older than you. Not that you minded. You’d always been rather mature for your age and with Freddie’s calm demeanour, you couldn’t help but sink into it.

Nonetheless, you both kept talking. And talking. And talking.

Just until the managers suggested to continue somewhere else, and you saw your potential escape from your father’s company dinner. However, a part of you didn’t want to break from Freddie just yet - and to your luck, he offered to follow you home. He argued that it was dark and ‘you never know what type of people are out there’, but to be honest, he didn’t exactly need to persuade you. You’d say yes anyway; but he didn’t need to know that.

And as he walked next to you through the streets of the cold weather, your conversation kept on going. The details of it you couldn’t entirely recall, however, what had imprinted a rather vivid memory into your mind, was when you’d reached the stairs to your apartment building and were to say goodnight. And just when you’d thought the moment was over, the tall ginger slowly leaned down, and placed a gentle kiss on your cheek.

The blush of your cheek was luckily disguised by the chilly air, however, words from your mouth escaped sooner than you expected.

“Would you like to come up?”

You were slightly taken aback by your own level of confidence, but there was simply something about this man that had you intrigued.

And it’s not like you were going to see him ever again. Right?

So, when he said yes, an indescribable amount of joy filled your heart.

And as it turned out, you were high on cloud nine all night. From the moment Freddie’s lips touched yours, as you’d entered your flat, you were completely mesmerised.

His touch had a magical effect on you, and nothing could stop you from seeing stars, as his mouth massaged yours, and his tongue gently made its way passed your lips to meet yours.

It sent a shiver down your spine, as you gave into his touch, and your heartbeat only quickened as he gently placed his large hands on your buttocks, and in a swift movement lifted you to wrap your legs around his hips, then slowly carried you to your bed, and gently placed you onto your back.

You could feel the mattress shift in weight as his large body came to hover you, and his lips returned to your mouth. And when they weren’t on yours, they’d travel down to your neck and place soft kisses on your skin, his teeth lightly biting, and you could sense a sensation of sucking as well.

You were his for the night.

Your mind simply couldn’t comprehend any rational thoughts in that very moment.

Especially not when he slowly started to undress you. Careful with every button of your shirt, and only soft touches when he pulled it off along with your dress trousers.

His large figure came to stand gorgeously in the dimmed light of your room, as he stood to undress himself as well. And in only tight boxers, framing his stiff, large member, he came back onto the bed to turn his full attention back to you.

His warm mouth was back on your skin, as he placed butterfly kisses all over, while removing your lacy black underwear you’d proudly shown off.

Silence was filling the room, only broken by the soft sounds of kissing, and light moans escaping your lips, as Freddie’s fingers found their way to your heated core, already pooling and ready to embrace him.

However, Freddie was taking his time. He’d want to make you feel good, before he’d pleasure himself. And as he heard the soft moans coming from your sweet lips, he made his move to gently press a finger inside of your heat.

Your chest began to move a little faster, as your breath slowly became heavier, feeling the amaze of Freddie’s touch. And when he added a second finger, which your wet cunt easily accepted, you felt a pleasurable sensation running through your body.

His two fingers gently pumped in and out, his thumb working your sensitive bud of nerves, and slowly - painfully slowly, he increased the speed.

You could feel yourself getting closer to a release, and only with a soft, almost whispery voice you pleaded for him to keep going and let you come.

Freddie’s eyes had turned darker, and he had to focus to keep his breath under control as he watched you intensely coming through your orgasm, with your wall clenching around his fingers. And not until you let out a final deep breath, he’d take out his fingers, leaving you feeling void, yet filled with pleasure.

But the sight of you arching beneath him like that and the beautiful sounds of your moans were almost too much for him, and he let no time go to waste as he almost ripped off his boxers and came to kneel between your legs.

His cock was proudly standing, ready for action, slightly dripping with precum and he once again leaned down to connect his lips with yours.

Still under his magical spell, you felt the tip of his cock gently pressing against your entrance.

Freddie knew he had to take it slow, and it was killing him. He was large and he’d already felt just how tight you were, but he longed for nothing else than to feel himself inside of your warmth.

But he was gentle. Slowly he pushed himself further in, and the room was filled with louder moans this time.

You couldn’t hold your moans back, as you felt just how good he stretched your walls and filled your deep with his magnificent length.

And once completely inside, you could almost feel how he hit the very back. You let out a deep breath and offered him light nod, only for him to gently pull almost entirely out, and push back in; again, hitting that very same spot.

And then he did it again. And then again.

His hips rocked in perfect steady pace, and you knew you could reach another orgasm any time. He didn’t even have to do anything else but to keep moving.

And Freddie could feel how his own release was building up, and as your heat took him so well, he could only feel the need to speed up.

Moans were filling the room along with the sound of skin clapping, and your heavy breaths. Endorphins were mixed with sweaty and glittering skin, as both your minds became hazy, and the dopamine filled your brains out of pure pleasure.

Loud groans came from the large man above you, and you could sense he was getting closer as his thrust became irregular and his pounding harder.

Your hands found the sheets and held a tight grip as the knot filled your tummy and another orgasm rushed over your body, just as Freddie offered one long loud grunt, as he spilled his seed deep inside of you, and emptied himself on a high.

And what followed was only a small fraction of the wonderful memory; he’d helped you clean up, gently wiping with a damped cloth, smiles adorning both of your faces, before you’d both returned to bed, and he’d cuddled with you until you drifted off to sleep.

_

And here you were, weeks later, finding yourself in his class about the prober dimensions and proportions of a heavy architectural design.

His bright red hair was like a flame to your eyes and as his voice sounded, you could feel goosebumps on your skin and your hair rising in the back of your neck.

Only when the class was dismissed, you were caught from your thoughts.

“Please, remember to come down with your papers for the latest hand in,” his voice echoed through the room.

Fuck.

With heavy steps and acting as casual as possible you slowly walked down the steps towards the centre where he’d asked for everyone to place the papers.

With a bit of luck, you thought you’d be able to sneak pass him while he was looking down, but no, it would’ve been too easy.

And just as you placed your paper onto the deck, his brown eyes met yours in disbelief, while an ‘o’ shaped on the curve of his lips.

You tried your best to offer him a composed and friendly smile, but you could sense your inner turmoil through your veins.

The memories of your night together flashed before your eyes and you knew a tiny sparkle must have shown in your eyes, as you tried to speak his name.

“Here you go, professor… Andersen,” you almost whispered.

Freddie was left speechless.

Never had he imagined he’d see you again. Let alone as one attending his very first class.

Shit.

[grailfinders]

Grailfinders #334: Koyanskaya of Dark

today on Grailfinders we’re building Koyanskaya one final time. this time, of Dark! as much as I would love to complain about having to look at her face for even one second longer than necessary after Tunguska, this build was actually pretty interesting to set up. after all, there aren’t a ton of ways to fling meteors at people.

we can get that, plus make the build super literal by being a Shadow Sorcerer. we’re also going to make her a Shepherd Druid so we can summon some of that slaughter beast troupe, and so you can turn into a fox. or really any animal you want, aside from maybe a Tyrannosaurus.

with all that out of the way, let’s get started on the third and final koyanskaya build, below the cut! (if you’d rather just read the character sheet, that’s over here.)

next up: What if I say I’m not like the others? What if I say I’m not just another one of your plays?

Ancestry & Background

I know we went harengon last time we made koyanskaia, but 1. she doesn’t use guns in this one so the “hare trigger” pun isn’t as funny, and 2. we need a feat first thing, so now she’s a Custom Lineage. they didn’t really have a race for the congealed suffering of millions of animals anyway, but at least this gives you a +2 to Charisma, as well as some Darkvision to style on those hominids, and the Weapon Master feat for +1 Dexterity and proficiency in four weapons of your choice, like a whip, and three other, better weapons. fun fact, I built this whole thing using the trial quest, where koyanskaya’s locked in her third ascension, so I straight up didn’t realize she had a whip until the build was practically over. hence the bad feat. egg on my face, but I don’t think there’s a better way to get good weapons in this build anyway, level nine spells are a pain to build around. 

but, the more things change the more they stay the same- she’s still a Faceless, giving her proficiency in Deception and Intimidation. there are some people who would call her voice lines persuasion attempts, but I try to make these builds system-agnostic.

Ability Scores

your number one ability this time around is Charisma- you managed to fool one of the greatest Chinese sages of all time and the entire FGO fanbase into thinking you were Tamamo. one of those feats is more impressive than the other, but I’m madder about the latter, so it’s still staying in the script. also all your magic comes from being who you are- inspiring, and a charisma trait.

your second highest score is Wisdom. animals are great with animal handling, and you sure are animals! also most godly casters get their stuff from wisdom, and you are a god. somehow. what the hell is going on in your final ascension is still pretty unclear to me.

anyway, moving on! number three, Dexterity. you like whips and hate armor, that one’s pretty open and shut. fourth is Constitution because you’re so good at not dying you don’t even die after we kill you a good million times.

all that means your Strength is a little low. I’m sure dark has the same human hurty powers as light, but you fight with a whip and magic, and neither of those are strength-based, so we can ignore the greatswords this time around.

finally, we’re dumping Intelligence. you weren’t even raised by wolves, and just thinking about Tunguska makes my head hurt so I can’t imagine how badly it affects the people living it.

Class Levels

1. Sorcerer 1: sorcerers get their specialties right off the bat, so as a Shadow sorcerer you start off with Eyes of the Dark, an extra 60’ of range on your darkvision. on top of that, at level three you get the Darkness spell for free, and if you cast it using just sorcery points you can see through it.

speaking of, you learn Spells starting this level that you can cast using your Charisma. I wasn’t able to get a true curse to complete dark’s goddess morph, but I got fire and poison coming your way, plus plenty of other debuffs to help you squash humanity. one of the best is also one of the earliest- Silvery Barbs. when a human of your choice tries to make an attack, check, or save and succeeds, you can make them re-roll. if they fail this time, you can give a nearby beast advantage on their next attack, check, or save for a little bit. it’s a debuff for some, a buff for others, just like most of your skills.

you also get the Mind Sliver cantrip to eat away at people’s saving throws, as well as Light, Thunderclap, and Booming Blade because hoo boy there sure was a lot of that in Tunguska that day.

finally, you get Mage Armor for a +3 to AC and plot armor so thick that even after turning yourself into a raid boss you turn into an egg instead of dying, and then come back to life twice to boot.

two more things- you have proficiency in Constitution and Charisma saves, as well as Persuasion and Religion. we’ve already gone over your charisma, as well as the fact that you’re at least part god.

two, you have the Strength of the Grave, so once a day you can stay at one HP when you should be knocked out by making a charisma save of five plus the damage taken, letting you get ready for another round of raiding. worth noting, however, this won’t save you from radiant damage or critical hits, so if we ever get a rerun make sure to pack Gawain and Kojirou. wait, they’re hominids… Tamamo Cat and Asterios maybe?

2. Sorcerer 2: second level sorcerers are a Font of Magic, giving you sorcery points equal to your sorcerer level each long rest. you can spend them to make new spell slots, or spend spell slots to make new points. this isn’t an equal exchange, so this is just and extra spell slot a day right now.

speaking of spells, I know Dark doesn’t get Sleep in-game, but it’s a hell of a debuff, especially at low levels. I choose to believe that if Tunguska happened during part one, she’d be a sleep spammer. you cannot prove otherwise.

3. Sorcerer 3: third level sorcerers get Metamagic, little beast things that make you a little harder to deal with. by spending sorcery points you can make a spell either Heightened or Careful, the former making it harder for one creature to save, the latter guaranteeing up to five creatures save. you’ve got some big AoEs coming, it’ll be nice to make sure your animals survive. or just. make sure that one annoying human bites it. they’re mutually exclusive, but I’m sure you’ll make the right choice.

you also start getting second level spells this turn like Spray of Cards. this is our first “turn into a giant shadow fox” option. it’s not quite cloaking your entire body in darkness yet, but it will blind nearby creatures for a round and deal damage at the same time. maybe the real curse was the 52 pickup we made along the way.

4. Sorcerer 4: fourth level sorcerers get their first Ability Score Improvement, so bump up that Charisma. we also pick up the Infestation cantrip this level for some poison damage and a humble start to our murder troupe, as well as the Flaming Sphere spell. this fulfills our fire damage quota, and is a cheaper meteor to throw at people when you just can’t be assed to burn a ninth level spell slot.

with this spell, you can summon a 5’ tall meteor that floats around, and anything next to it needs to make a dex save or they’ll take damage, then as a bonus action you can move the ball around and even ram it into people. it hovers, but it can jump gaps, and even set stuff on fire around it.

5. Sorcerer 5: fifth level sorcerers get Magical Guidance, letting you spend sorcery points to re-roll failed skill checks. boom, instant business acumen. you’re welcome. you also get third level spells now, and I can think of no greater curse than Hold Person. you force a wisdom save on someone, and if they fail they’re Paralyzed for up to a minute, with rerolls each round. paralyzed creatures can’t do anything on their turn; automatically fail strength and dexterity saves; and not only do attackers get advantage to hit them, but those attacks automatically crit when they hit. this spell only works on humanoids, but so do you, so it’s fine.

6. Sorcerer 6: sixth level shadow sorcerers get your third ascension’s buster attack, the Hound of Ill Omen. with this, you can summon a direwolf as a bonus action, with the caveat that it’s only medium sized and technically not a beast any more. when summoned you sic it on a target, which it then exclusively moves towards and attacks, ignoring everything in its way- thankfully, it can phase through walls. it’s biggest strengths are that it can knock enemies prone for more advantage on attacks, as well as give its target disadvantage on saves against your spells while it’s next to them.

to make the most of this, force your enemies to make a billion saves with Melf’s Minute Meteors, tiny rocks you summon as an action and then can flick a few of them at enemies each turn. when they hit something, they explode and force nearby creatures to make dexterity saves. it’s thematic, and denying people their spells is basically buff removal if you think about it.

7. Sorcerer 7: seventh level sorcerers get fourth level spells. we still don’t have any summons, but at least you can Dominate Beasts now. if they fail a wisdom save, you can control the beast for up to a minute, linking you two up telepathically and letting you command them with your mind. these commands can be general, or you can spend your action to take over their body exactly. at higher levels you can increase the length of this power for up to eight hours. sadly we can’t extend your body out for several miles like in Tunguska proper, but this is still a great way to spy on people or get stuff sneakily.

8. Sorcerer 8: eighth level sorcerers get another ASI, letting us cap off our Charisma fairly early and get a point into Dexterity to boot. that being said odd numbers do nothing, so it’s not great right away. if you’re confused as to why we’re doing this then you might be under the effect of Confusion. if you didn’t fail a wisdom save and aren’t randomly doing things, you’re probably safe though. yeah, we’re still trying to find a debuff that can replace curse damage. tbh anything can be a curse in D&D, so I guess all these spells are fine?

9. Sorcerer 9: you know what’s better than fine though? fifth level spell slots. we still can’t summon animals, but we can Animate Objects and say they’re animals! with this, you can “summon” up to ten “animals” of small or tiny size, or add in some larger “animals” for double the cost per size larger they are. tbh the biggest and smallest animals are usually the best picks, but it’s totally up to you how you do this. at max level you could summon up to two huge creatures, so I guess that’s the break bars covered for your boss fight. murder troupe acquired!

10. Sorcerer 10: tenth level sorcerers get another kind of Metamagic, and the Distant spells will double the range you can cast a spell. you’re going to get some big blasts by the end of this, and trust me, you don’t want to be standing right next to them.

we also get another great “curse damage” option this level from the cantrip Chill Touch, which hits someone with necrotic damage and prevents them from healing for a round. you can also empower your beast backup with Skill Empowerment, giving a target creature expertise in a skill they’re already proficient in. you can still only get your wolf to do wolf things, but now it wolfs harder than ever before.

11. Sorcerer 11: eleventh level sorcerers get sixth level spells like the Investiture of Flame! eh, eh? see what I did there? Investiture, like the taigong wang thing.

anyway, you can cast this and for up to ten minutes afterwards you’re immune to fire and resist cold, force nearby creatures to take fire damage just for being near you, and can shoot fireballs as an action, forcing a dexterity save on everyone in a line. now baby you’re a firework! or a meteor. guess we’ll find out soon enough.

12. Sorcerer 12: at level twelve we get another ASI:, so let’s round up our Dexterity and get another debuff to curse humans with at the same time with the Slasher feat. now you can reduce a target’s speed once a turn when hitting them with your whip, and a critical hit gives it disadvantage on all attack rolls.

13. Sorcerer 13: we’re still a ways away from being a meteor, but at least we can start doing some serious ecological damage thanks to the Fire Storm spell. with this you create, well, a fire storm! the storm takes up a total of 10 10’ cubes that connect to each other, forcing all the creatures inside to make dex saves or take a ton of fire damage. this spell also sets everything in it on fire, but you can choose whether or not that includes plant life. but if you ever wanted to be able to spell out “NFF rulez, Tamamo sux” in big burning letters now you can.

14. Sorcerer 14: at level fourteen you can Shadow Walk as a bonus action, moving up to 120 feet from one area of dim light or darkness to another. I choose to believe that’s how you get into space for your NP. I mean, it’s dark up there, I’m sure it counts. that’s also why your third ascension wears such a big poofy dress- a spot of permanent darkness beneath you everywhere you go.

15. Sorcerer 15: eighth level spell time, and the only one we want it Dominate Monster. it’s like dominate beast, but it works on every kind of creature for up to 1 hour at base level. it’s also an eighth level spell instead of a fourth level spell, so it’s waaaay more expensive. still, a lot of NFF services’ minions are definitely not beasts, so you’ll need this to keep them tamed.

16. Sorcerer 16: sixteenth level sorcerers get one last ASI, and the Elemental Adept feat will help your fireballs ignore resistance and also turn any ones rolled on damage into twos. it’s simple, but it’ll get very useful in just a second.

17. Sorcerer 17: we finally made it. level nine spells, at last. also you can cast Subtle spells, which makes them uncounterable, but there’s nothing subtle about Meteor Swarm. you can launch a meteor up to a mile away, hitting four different spots at once and forcing a dexterity save on everything in the area. it deals 20d6 fire and bludgeoning damage respectively, so that elemental adept we just got kicks the damage floor of this spell up a good 20 points per creature caught in it. it also, of course, sets everything in the area on fire. it was the crown jewel of the Ishtar build, and it still is here. idk what to tell you, big rocks go brrrr.

18. Druid 1: we could’ve hopped over to druid whenever we wanted, but I wanted to get to the Meteor as fast as possible. if you’re not confident in your party’s ability to stick together for nearly 20 levels, feel free to slot this in earlier. as a first level druid you learn a new language plus a new way of casting Spells. now they use your Wisdom and they can be switched out each day. grab the most powerful spell in the game, Druidcraft, and Primal Savagery as your cantrips. there’s nothing wrong with a power pick this late on, and at least PS is thematic.

our druid spells may be weak, but we’re here for buffs anyway. Protection from Good and Evil can protect your precious beasts from celestials, demons, and aberrations, which I’m sure humans are, and you can use Faerie Fire to improve their offense by lighting up some humans so they can’t hide and their attackers all get advantage to hit them.

19. Druid 2: second level druids get to turn into Wild Shapes- we’re already almost 3000 words in, so here’s the cliff notes- only your physical stats change, it’s limited to CR ½ creatures, and you can do it twice a short rest. if you die as a beast you turn back and take the excess damage directly. also no you can’t use your whip while a fox, at least not well.

more importantly, you’re a Shepherd now, allowing you to copy beasts of the world and recreate them at any time to gain their power via a Spirit Totem. as a bonus action you make a summoned spirit that has a 30’ aura, and you can move it as a bonus action- while the options are named after specific animals, you can customize them as you wish. the Bear gives creatures you choose temporary HP and advantage on strength checks and saves. the Hawk lets you spend a reaction to give a creature advantage on an attack and gives allies advantage on perception checks. the Unicorn also grants that advantage, and healing spells also heal creatures in the aura a bit.

you also learn the Speech of the Woods, so you can speak Sylvan and talk to animals.

20. Sorcerer 18: our final level gives us the capstone ability of the shadow sorcerer, the Umbral Form. as a bonus action you can spend six sorcery points to transform into the shadow beast (see I’d told you it would come back), giving you resistance to all damage but radiant and force, and you can move through solid objects to boot, though you take damage if you’re in one at the end of your turn. it lasts for a minute, giving you big “boss monster” vibes. but you’re not the boss monster, that’s coming on the 15th.

Pros & Cons

Pros:

you have access to an ungodly variety of debuffs, so you’ll almost always have something that you can use to trip up an enemy, no matter who they are. you’ve got: sleep, save decrease, disadvantage, damage on movement, blindness, forced movement, paralysis, mind control, heal block, slowdown, and getting knocked prone. combining slasher and your hound can knock someone down to only having ten feet of movement per round, so unless you’re facing a bunch of monks you can shut down humans pretty damn easily. …ah right Wang’s a monk, and Nikitich has a dragon. maybe that’s why you lost?

you can also fire off some serious DPS against crowds, with powerful fire spells boosted by your elemental adept feat, plus you can make the spell heightened and use silvery barbs to even the most problematic of human targets will be easy to hit!

you also get a lot of utility by being able to turn any bird you see into your personal spy camera, and turning any spy camera you see into a bird! …well, it flies around and pecks your enemies, at least. also you can make the party better at anything they’re already good at! expertise is such a good feature they gave it to like three classes already, but why should bards rogues and rangers have all the fun?

Cons:

at lot of that utility I just talked about comes from dominate beast, and there’s plenty of situations that won’t be much help to you. conversely, animate objects can only work on the objects around you, so again, it depends heavily on what you can scrounge up on your own. you always can go in guns a-blazing, but trying for any sort of subtlety will be harder for you.

as flavorful as the druid dip was it doesn’t help much with the overall build. wild shape only lets you turn into CR ½ or worse beasts, so it’s useless in combat, and you could already spy on people as an animal before, and Dominate Beast lets you do it without actually being there so you’re not in danger if you’re found out! Druid has one of the best spell lists for sure, but a) we only have level 1 druid spells, and b) your wisdom isn’t great, so by the time you get them they’re almost always going to miss unless you’re terrorizing commoners.

Koyanskaya’s supposed to be a schemer, but having to dump intelligence this build really hurts that. sure you could probably get away with not involving your int score in your roleplay, but I would’ve loved to make it higher if I could’ve. this also means you’re more likely to be eaten by a mind flayer but they aren’t hominids so it’s fine.