#DEFINITELY he didn't learn about empathy and connecting with people (he didn't)

[savior-of-the-ink]

The duality of Harley torturing children for some twisted scientific gratification and being all soft and available with the young girls and the children of their older colleagues at Diana's service

He is totally called "big brother" and "uncle" by these kids, by the way

[amiya-shirou]

Spoilers about Babel and Zwillingstürme im Herbst

I was thinking about Arknights' recurring dynamic of siblings who must confront each other no matter how important the other is for them and realized there are more parallels than I expected between Theresa/Theresis and Arturia/Federico - to the point the latter pair feels like a still growing, less actualized, somewhat inverted version of the first.

Arturia is Theresa: focused on emotion and empathy, has weird mental powers (that interact pretty well with Theresa's, as seen in her interactions with Amiya), her ultimate ideal is a level of connection that goes beyond the scope of her own civilization and in trying to achieve it she's at the same time dooming herself, her halo almost looks like the Black Crown (which I doubt wasn't intended, since the Law is definitely comparable to Civilight Eterna). The contrasts between them are pretty evident too: a white Devil who perfectly looks the part of the saintess and a black Angel who perfectly looks the part of the villainess.

Federico is Theresis: the more down-to heart, more serious, less idealistic brother, who has difficulties expressing emotions to others (or even understanding them in Fede's case) and is extremely close to his sister but also feels he must stop her as her ideals lead her down a dangerous path for others. Theresa/Arturia are going against the will of the Myriad Souls/the Law, and Theresis/Federico confront them by acting as protectors of that will for the sake of the people that would be affected. Even in this case, there are evident contrasts: Theresis is seen as a negative figure, the villain in Theresa's story, while Federico is seen positively and Arturia is presented as the villain in his story.

Despite everything, the siblings know each other best. Federico can tell if a crime is Arturia's fault or not because he understands her more than anyone else; when Arturia's ideals crumble after the discussion with the Witch King and she seeks death, Federico is the one she wants to be killed by. Years of civil war and aiming for the others' destruction didn't put a dent in the trust and affection that exists between the Sarkaz twins, and when they're reunited in Londinium they're once again betting everything on each other like it's the most natural thing do to.

Civilight Eterna chose both Theresa and Theresis as successors for the will of the Sarkaz; they were special, the legendary twins with the potential to change Kazdel's fate. The Law calculated the immense adversities Terra is going to face in future, and chose both Arturia and Federico as the next Saints, essential for Laterano to prepare against them.

The one advantage the Giallos have over the twins is that they're younger, less caged by the collective will of their people. They can still reach a good middle point and work together for a better future without needing to extinguish the other for their ideal to prevail. While Theresa and Theresis understood the value of the other's belief, they were fundamentally opposed because they acted as the symbols of two separated possibilities for the Sarkaz, possibilities that clashed with each other despite their continued survival being the ultimate objective for both. Instead, Zwillingstürme im Herbst shows Federico taking steps towards Arturia and learning to use emotion as a way to understand her even if he can't feel them the same way she does, while Arturia realized the value of Federico's logical approach and that his approach can make her objective more concrete rather than just an abstract ideal.

Federico helps Arturia give footing to her philosophical inquiries, reminding her that it is possible to find an answer and reach a conclusion and that her ideals do not need to remain abstract but she can actually take steps to realize them; meanwhile, for how strong the Kazdel twins' bond is, Theresis will always be an eternal reminder that most of the Sarkaz reject Theresa and her dreams for an hopeful future, and was never able to truly help her sustain Babel. And just as Federico one-ups Theresis on this matter, the same does Arturia to Theresa: she wants to see her ideal realized, she has learned that she also has a role in her utopia and that she shouldn't forget about herself while seeking it, in opposition to how Theresa can only see herself as a sacrifice, the soil upon which the flowers will grow after her death. Theresa and Theresis were doomed by the weight of Kazdel's history and suffering, but the two Sankta's story ends in a hopeful tone as their fate is not yet written, and in fact both of them are less a symbol of the will of Laterano and more clear outsiders in their society, rare different voices in a very conformist state and thus have the potential to change it rather than be shackled by their people's voices.

[gold-pavilion]

Belonging and humanity (some more Ivan thoughts)

There's a big difference between knowing for a fact that you're a human being and getting to FEEL part of humankind. That's a thing that I feel Ivan sorely lacked. Some of his issues can definitely be traced back to it.

There's three things we know for certain about Ivan's early childhood nowadays, so let me start from those:

There were other humans around him in the slums, at least other children (for now it doesn't seem there were adults around, or none who would approach or care for the children).

However, we also know Ivan did not learn social behavior properly; for example, how or when to smile.

Going by the lonely tone of the song Nowhere and its emphasis on having no one, plus the previous point, we can infer there was no meaningful social contact with any people he knew/saw.

Ivan has been described as someone who is always learning to survive and his time in the slums must've been the same, after all; it's most likely that the other kids were competition to him (for food or other resources), threats or simply strangers with whom connections were never made.

That's to say, there were humans around Ivan but no "human community".

And that's the thing: take someone who went through a critical developmental stage with no one to care for or be cared by, learn social behavior with or practice the emotional exercises of understanding and empathy - ask that someone what "being a part of humankind" feels like, and what can he even make of it? It must not mean much more than categorizing a species, no feeling involved. And anyway, what difference does it make if there's anything else to say or not?

It's not like those are easy questions. None of the ALNST cast, with all their limitations, would be able to respond comprehensively.

But it changes things, the differences are there.

There are things that Till knows, from having a mother, learning from her and being enriched emotionally by their interaction, that I don't think he could describe but certainly has within him. Or Hyuna, who had a brother to feel that family bond and sense of community with, learning all sorts of positive social skills and having a heart full of room for empathy as she always looked out for the little Other Person next to her.

Beyond knowing their species, they know what it MEANS to be the rare and amazing human creature from these experiences of connecting, teaching, being taught, holding things in common, giving and receiving love. On an instinctual level they accessed what it feels like to be "part of humankind", which is so cool about them!!

Then you have cases like Mizi being too trusting of aliens because she was raised to feel community with one, Sua being mostly withdrawn because she didn't have a lot of warmth and community around her, Luka who was deprived of everything and then clung too hard to his first proper bond...

And Ivan, with his empty circumstances. There are a million things Ivan didn't learn and doesn't KNOW he lacked.

Of course that with his background he'd end up 1: being defensive by nature, having selfish tendencies, trouble processing emotion and socially weird habits and 2: feeling like a twisted being because of it, which is such a core aspect of his character. A human with less humanity but no idea why or how.

He adapted himself a lot once adopted, of course, and caught up an even bigger lot in his time in Anakt Garden. But I don't think he ever understood why he was "more twisted than others" and honestly, his intelligence and observance doesn't do him any favors on that front; on the contrary, I think it made him more aware of the gaps between him and other people.

And I really have to wonder if his experiences around the segyein are all that different, emotionally speaking.

I mean, of course objectively they have to be, but… his adopted life was a matter of observing his new environment, feeling like an absolute stranger because he's another species, but learning and adapting as quickly as possible in order to make himself a desirable pet that would be kept around. His experience being sent to Anakt and put in a human group was, again, feeling like a stranger because he's different to others of his own species, but learning and adapting as quickly as possible, eventually making himself an "acceptable", charming, absolutely cagey but near-perfect man. He succeeded both times.

He never did get rid of that awareness of being "twisted", though. After all, he also didn't unlearn all his survival patterns or fix the weak spots in his emotional development. As much as he progressed, the sense of not quite belonging and the faint relationship with his own humanity stayed. (With one big exception, but I'll leave that thought for the end of this ramble.)

In a way, I feel like this is exactly what made him so successful in segyein society as far as he lived. So adaptable that beyond being a good pet, he could also be trusted with and hold down an actual job, decent (faked or not, still good) relationships with segyein and, if he had any chance of survival, probably the capacity to live in their society with moderate perks.

Being an adaptable stranger who belonged nowhere in the first place… I think it's what made him more willing, more capable and more okay with mixing with the segyein like that, paired with his intelligence to pull it off.

No human pride to sacrifice. Not much humanity in the first place.

Except for the one noteworthy exception that shifted Ivan's growth: his relationship with Till.

Not only did Till embody things that Ivan lacked, which fascinated him from the start, but through his bond with him Ivan developed a lot of those traits and sensitivities that constitute peak humanity. It's a bit of the "love will make you human" trope, but on god does it apply. Ivan learned to care, to feel and to love, at times selfishly, at times messily. Buth he got pretty good at it; so much that love made him selfless and sacrificial in the end. He became a little more human for the object of his feelings. It didn't't erase all his struggles or fix his issues at large, but it was a lot. Of course he'd die thanking Till.

Anyway, that's all I wanted to get off my chest!

Humanity is a tough theme with Ivan, so I hope my thoughts about it were an interesting read.

The usual disclaimer: I've talked about 1 aspect of Ivan in this post, which does not mean this is all there is to his character or that I aim to invalidate other aspects. Just rotating this one in my head.

[taragreenfield]

Another word on Alina, the saint patron of navel-gazing

It's funny to read posts saying "Stop calling Alina a narcissist! She's just a traumatized teenager! Of course she's gonna be selfish and insecure!". First of all, it's not just that. Insecurity - yes, totally can be chalked up to being an ostracized teenager. But this weird sense of entitlement despite being a humble orphan? Omnipresent victim complex? Lack of empathy? Self-righteousness? Total lack of self-awareness and self-reflection, not in the sense "how other people see me" but "if what I'm doing is right?" : you would think that a deeply insecure, anxious teenager would ask themselves this question about 5 times a day, but no, she's firmly stuck in her own narrative: the Darkling is evil, Baghra never lies, Nikolai is a good ruler no matter what he does, I must get as many amplifiers as possible and destroy the Fold! It's the combination of those factors that paints rather a disturbing picture.

Second of all, how do you think narcissists are made, if not from traumatized kids and teenagers? The thing is, the creepy orphanage seems to be a perfect breeding ground for future narcissists. Narcissistic traits are usually developed in childhood by:

1) The focus on superficial, external aspects, such as appearance, status, wealth. We know the orphans in Keramzin were taught to appear polite, repeatedly told to be grateful and humble, and even learned how to eat snails correctly (what is that if not flashing your status?). - Performance over substance.

2) Lack of genuine emotions and care. Ana Kuya, whose first words to a freshly orphaned, scared girl were "What an ugly thing" is definitely not the one to teach or show kids empathy and thoughtfulness. Besides, the orphanage is said to be discouraging the kids from remembering their past, so they don't have the emotional connection to anything that happened before they got there.

3) Physical or emotional abuse. We know the kids were physically punished, and once again, I don't think they experienced any shortage of emotional abuse and belittlement with a "delightful" woman like Ana Kuya.

So no, her possible narcissism doesn't exclude her trauma; it actually might be a result of the said trauma. And being young and traumatized is not a get-out-of-jail-free card. Traumatized teenagers absolutely can exhibit unhealthy, harmful behavioral patterns, and neither Alina's selfishness and ignorant self-righteousness nor Mal's abusive tendencies can be excused by their teenagehood.

A few notes:

There is nothing wrong with a character being a narcissist or possessing adjacent traits. It's not condemnation per se. It actually can make an interesting story. The problem starts when the narrative rewards the character for those traits and pretends they are actually pure and righteous. No, the book shouldn't hit you with angry diatribes every other chapter. "See? See? This is wrong! They are bad!" It just has to show realistic reactions to the character's behavior. Someone would have already slapped the impertinent brat upside the head no matter how much of a living glowstick she might be.

I do not think that Bardugo intended to make Alina a narcissist. It would require the level of writing competence I don't believe she possesses. The fact that it was unintentional only makes it more entertaining to pick up those patterns. It's always more interesting to find things that the author didn't plan to say but said anyway.

[mythgirlimagines]

If the ProSeka cast were superheroes, what kind of powers would they have?

i've thought A Lot about assigning superpowers to characters before so i have a p good idea :)

Under the cut bc this got long!

Ichika: Empathy. While her power doesn't seem very related to combat, Ichika can use her empathy to sense the emotional state of whoever they're against- as well as her teammates, to check on them

Saki: Damage Removal. Due to her chronic illness, a lot of the damage she removes from others manifests in her in some way, leading to her not using it as often as she would like to

Honami: Telepathy. She used to hear too many people's thoughts at once, but now she's harnessed it enough that she can more easily communicate telepathically with her teammates

Shiho: Electric Discharge. She can create pulses of electricity, drawing on electric flows around her, though she has to make sure her teammates are out of the blast zone

Minori: Heart Link. Not the most combative power, but she delights that she can connect very easily with her teammates, and keep them safe as best she can

Haruka: Air Manipulation. She'd done her best to master it since she was a child, and was quite good at using the air around villains to help slow them down

Airi: Animal Imitation. Using her powers, Airi can mimic the traits and abilities of various animals- though she tends to give herself allergic reactions when mimicking a feline

Shizuku: Earthquake Generation. One of the strongest powers on her team, she does her best to use it sparingly, knowing the potential downfalls it can cause

Kohane: Poison Manipulation. Definitely comes in handy when villains use some kind of poison against them, but she mostly uses it to protect her teammates from being poisoned

An: Plant Growth. Even if the plants are starting at seeds, she can influence and accelerate their growth enough to become useful in combat

Akito: Fire Immunity. Really only helpful in specific scenarios, but Akito was perfectly fine with being immune to fire and flames. He could deal with it

Toya: Storm Manipulation. His father often looked down on him because his power wasn't related to music, but learning to harness storms against villains was quite helpful

Tsukasa: Voice Casting. While his voice was already loud enough, Tsukasa's power allows him to channel certain temporary effects against villains

Emu: Elasticity. She likes saying that she's just stretchy, but that helps with all of her acrobatics! Those villains never know what she's gonna do next

Nene: Sound Manipulation. There are many ways she can use this power, but she mostly uses it to distort sounds to confuse villains and cause headaches

Rui: Magnet Manipulation. While it didn't usually come in handy on its own against villains, there was always something he could aid with in terms of the other heroes around him

Kanade: Precognition. Often automatic when coming into contact with certain objects, Kanade can see a certain amount of time into the future, which can help her avoid attacks

Mafuyu: Darkness Manipulation. She uses the darkness to confuse villains, but also didn't mind when she used it to darken her own surroundings to calm herself

Ena: Power Erasure. Comes in handy when apprehending villains, but really only then. She can at least take their powers away so they can't hurt anyone else

Mizuki: Invisibility. This helps in their everyday life as well, but they can turn invisible for certain amounts of time, which helps them launch sneak attacks on villains

[melancholiaenthroned]

I personally don't ship J'onn and Max romantically and I'm sorry that this is long but reading your ask response can I say that something that's compelling to me abt their relationship is also that neither of them feel empathy the way that's societally deemed normal but in opposite directions and it makes it both harder for them to understand each other but also gives them that mutual outsider position? J'onn feels way more empathy than is considered societally acceptable so it's fun that the guy he's spending the most time with in the jli is a man who feels way less.

J'onn always has to tone down how much he feels to not make people uncomfortable while Max has to pretend to feel empathy even when he can't (one of my favorite recurring Max bits is when he course corrects because he realizes he said something tone deaf/didn't react 'empathetic' enough, like when Hawkwoman dies) so they both end up unable to fully connect with the others the way the others can. And maybe a part of J'onn is simply curious about the way Max's mind works too, since he's so different from the heroes J'onn is usually around

(Part of why I don't like the evil Max retcon btw. They really took a character whose low empathy wasn't treated as something that makes him inherently evil but rather as just a trait he has and turned him into a pure evil sadist who is evil because he doesnt feel empathy for other people)

THIS IS ABSOLUTELY TRUE TY FOR BRINGING THIS UP part of what got me really attached to max in the first place was his low empathy and the way it was treated as like... a facet of his personality that maybe made him distasteful to be around sometimes but ultimately not something that made him Evil. and in comic book world a character being able to have low empathy and not be a supervillain is awesome. esp cuz within jli it made him fit in cuz they were all kind of weirdos who were bad to be around in certain ways and that endeared them to each other!

j'onn and him both being unintentionally... i wouldn't necessarily say autistic coded but are definitely very easily read as autistic if you also are. is part of what i really like about their dynamic it feels like they rely on each other for different things and learn how to fit themselves into new scenarios based on how the other handles it. if that makes. so both of them struggle to connect with others but find ways through each other and thus are actively good for each other.

what i wouldn't do for one good writer to take on the evil max retcon and do something with it (ideally get rid of it forever lol but even adding like one layer of nuance could do so much)....

EDIT: also never complain about it being too long i love to hear ppls thoughts forever ok....

[halliescomut]

Naughty Babe Ramble

There's gonna be spoilers up to episode 4...just so you're aware.

I've been really stuck thinking about this past episode and sort of where we are about half-way through. I know for a lot of people, Naughty Babe is just silly fun, and there's also plenty who just wave it off as campy semi-BS. And while the show is certainly set up to be more silly than serious, I really have been engrossed by the new glimpses we've gotten into Yi and Diao now that they're at the center.

I loved them as a couple in the Cutie Pie series, though I had some concerns, mostly things that I've been able to abandon now that we've gotten a bit more insight into Yi's mind specifically. Cutie Pie is very much Kuea's perspective, and therefore pretty knowledgeable of Diao's personality, but less so of Yi.

And while I was somewhat suspicious of what we were going to see after the trailers, knowing about the whole amnesia thing, I'm actually pretty satisfied overall. Both because the amnesia didn't last for the whole season, but also because they clearly recognize that Diao knows Yi well enough to figure out he's lying. Like I do agree that both Lian and his dad would figure it out first, just because Yi doesn't hide so much from them, but I was concerned they would set Diao up to look a bit like an imbecile, and he is so not.

I'm gonna start by talking about Diao, mostly because he's my favorite, but also because if we recognize that this show is mostly Yi's perspective, then I'm so happy they're still showing Diao as feisty, and cute. He's still shown as a little shy, but I think he's definitely guarded around Yi, especially right in this time, so it makes sense, that he sort of reads it that way. One of my favorite things about Diao in Cutie Pie was that he was clearly just as strong-willed and self-aware as Kuea, but where Kuea is more brash, Diao is just a tad softer. But his softness isn't weakness (I fucking hate when people think that) and we're continually given glimpses of his strength, both mentally and physically.

His practice and teaching of Taekwondo is clearly part of that, it's a martial arts style that has a heavy focus on meditation and mindfulness, but also philosophy of how you should behave as a citizen of humanity. It's also listed often as a potentially good option for self-defense in those that are of smaller stature (which Diao is). It's a martial art that I think is well-matched to the character, in that it's both strong and elegant, with a focus on moral character.

The series so far shows Diao as mainly admirable...which is great, but it also speaks to what Diao is so frustrated by. He's not a piece of art, he doesn't want to be set on a pedestal and admired, he wants to be loved. He's been clear in his passion to Yi in the past, but it's Yi's that's stuck in his own head about what if's and so they aren't able to progress. And so now we're 3 years in the future, and Diao's wondering if he read everything all wrong.

So moving on to hia Yi...I know you're trying, but god, do I wish that you would just get it together. I understand that the root of his behavior is all fear. He's afraid that the past coming to light, and his connection to Diao's trauma will cause DIao to hate him...and dude...if you pulled your head out of your ass and actually took in the person that Diao has become you'd see that it would never happen. I know he's drowning in the guilt of what happened with the tiger/puma/dog/jackalope (depending on when and where the story's being told)...but if you think Diao would learn that and not recognize that you were a 15 year old child who made a horrible mistake??? Diao has so much empathy, and Yi knows that, but he's still can't comprehend that that empathy also extends to him for some reason.

As flawed as the man is, and honestly as poorly as he sees himself sometimes, though usually glossed over by the sheen of narcissism, he can be such a good man. In all of this universe, I've always been a bit meh on Max's acting, I'll be honest. He's fine, but I've always felt like because his character was so staid that I wasn't engaged, especially when Zee and Nunew and Nat were given so much more expression and emotion. But this last couple of episodes really, but especially number four, he has really been doing some great work.

He's both solidified a lot of aspects of the character as well as bringing new depth. The nightmares talk and panic attack scene were really so good. Him just laying there as Diao talks about his nightmares and his eyes are just full of so many different emotions. and then when the panic attack really kicks in, his overall concern is not disturbing Diao. You don't have to have an internal monologue to know exactly where this panic attack comes from, and it's portrayed really well in my opinion. Of course everyone's experience will differ, but my sister has an anxiety disorder, and really her feelings as she's described them and her physical condition as I've watched her experience these attacks...they match up pretty well.

In a lot of ways I do feel like we are seeing a little bit of the same character arc for the couple here that we saw for Lian and Kuea in Cutie Pie, with both Lian and Yi afraid that somehow they're being selfish in wanting their relationships with Kuea and Diao respectively. I think it's something that stems from their age difference, this knowing that there is a lot of opportunity out there for them, and are they sort of clipping their wings? It's a bit different for Kuea and Diao, but it does boil down to both wanting to be truly seen for who they are. For Kuea it was about reconciling his 'true self' and knowing that Lian loved him still. With Diao, I think it's about being seen as himself, but also being seen as someone worthy of being a true partner to Yi, to stand beside him. I think Yi's tendency to coddle him and lie to him has caused him to assume that Yi doesn't believe he's capable of handling the truth. And in a bit of a match to Kuea, since they've always been these sort of biddable, polite people (which is based around the cultural expectations especially in relation to their age difference), will there still be love and affection if they're assertive of their own needs/desires? For Kuea the answer was clearly yes, which Diao knows, but I think Lian was also a lot easier to read for Diao than Yi. It's also complicated by the fact that Diao is also afraid of what he might see, and so I think he chooses not to.

My last little part isn't really about character, but more about how wildly uncomfortable I was watching the interactions between Diao's family and Yi and Diao. It was both awkward and insanely infuriating. I felt so insulted on Yi's behalf, watching this family treat him like little more than an open wallet. And don't even get me started on Diao, the way I know he was so embarrassed by their behavior, not just because it's so icky, but also because it makes him wonder "Does hia Yi think that I'm in this for his money??" I also kind of hated it because hia Yi clearly values family, and I know for certain that he's glad that his own father has such strong love and affection for Diao, to not be seen equally by Diao's family probably really hurts.

(I'm sorry this was such a ramble, but I have a lot of random feelings about the show.)

[johanna-swann]

So I just finished reading the ballad of songbirds and snakes and I have mixed feelings.

Suzanne Collins definitely proved again what a formidable writer she is. She knows her trade, how to craft a powerful symbol, how to draw up parallels, how to bring a narrative to a satisfying conclusion. She also clearly knows her political theories. Rousseau, Weber, etc.

As for the concrete plot, for the first 100 pages or so it's very interesting to meet this younger, somewhat innocent version of Snow. One can quickly figure out what makes him tick and where his way of decision making will lead him though: He doesn't enjoy inflicting pain or exploiting people, but he will do it when necessary and in his eyes it's necessary all the time. In fact, he will do anything, use every opportunity and take every single chance he can get to come out on top and increase his power. Anything to not sink any lower than he already has. It's a survival technique he learned as a young child during the war. This, combined with his fine-tuned, instinctive knowledge of human nature yet astonishingly low capacity for empathy makes him highly manipulative, opportunistic and controlling. He can rationalise and justify every decision he makes and isn't really capable of guilt. Scared of the consequences, yes, but never guilty. Which certainly makes for an interesting protagonist, but you can learn all of the above from the first 10 to 20 pages. It doesn't take 600.

On top of that the plot around the Hunger Games seems in big parts rather contrived to be honest. Like, of course Snow has to have a deep personal connection to the Games. Of course he almost gets killed in the arena himself twice. Sure. At the same time the p.o.v. is very limiting. I would've loved to hear more about the players a bit further up the food chain, about what's going on behind the curtain. Was it actually rebels who blew up the arena? Or was it an inside job to make people remember the war, the horrors, to justify the Games.

The problem for me through roughly pages 150 to 450 was that (despite his interesting character and the amazing writing) I didn't care at all about Snow, the plot around the Games was too focused on his personal experience to pique my interest and the outcome was very predictable.

The third part of the book in District 12 starts slow, but was much more interesting than parts one and two. Snow is slowly losing control of the situation, goes even further than he did during the Games and buries the last bit of goodness he still had in him. I kinda saw it coming that his little field trip was another one of Gaul's ploys, another experiment, but it was still very good. The last 150 pages when Snow is completely spiraling and everything comes to a head with Sejanus and Billy Taupe are so good.

The ending feels very fitting. Snow comes out on top, we witness him poisoning the first of his many victims, it's unclear if Lucy Gray was really a threat to him or if he was just obsessed with her. It's a good explanation for how he ended up the way he did without ever asking the reader for sympathy with him.

[minalblood]

Been a looong while but I'm back with a new episode commentary. 1x09 here we go!

The instant recall to finale of spn s 1 is just as delicious and jarring this time around. Find it very very interesting that it's the vampires that mimic the Winchesters here and do so in order to learn their fate and fulfil it. I'd definitely call this a dark mirror to begin with.

I also adore these vamps, they're sooo fun looking.

John and Mary really came out of that near death experience losing no time in getting together.

The appreciation of Dean being paralleled to the appreciation of Baby is just... sooo funny considering the sheer amount of connections there.

Soo Kyle is instantly suspish here. Not even hiding it, damn. You can tell the shift in personality just based off his demeanor. I also think the little hand gesture he does as he walk away is interesting, it's almost like he's saying "im washing my hands off this bullshit". It subble enough that you could think it's jealousy.

The little hints at Lata and John friendship! My beloved!. Also Lata is suuuch a gossip I love her!

I once more am asking John Winchester to stop trying to be subtle, it aint his strong suit. But alternatively, I sorta get it? Like I can understand why it would be confusing if u don't get where Mary is coming from, since she has no problem letting strangers (and exs) on the street see them together, but not their close friends? But I also completely get Mary as well, she's actually lived as a hunter her whole life which means bagage already, then the fact that their relationship is new and fragile. Plus both her parents and his haven't had the easiest time with relationships. Cautious makes sense.

Ah yes, "fate is what u make it". Dean hearing it from John who heard it from Millie. All of them have their very personal reasons for that saying to apply, but also... Dean saying he didn't expect where things got when he "pushed that first domino" reminds me of Cas and him talking after the 1st Apocalypse that wasn't and about how free will sometimes means things aren't really gonna go the way you like them.to or expect them to (peace or freedom?). It's sorta funny then (read:ironic) that in both John's life (SPN!John) and Dean and Cas after Swan Song the outcome was actually quite tragic over all, John's life literally going out in flames with the rest of it being a living nightmare and in Dean and Cas' case Sam is dead and Heaven is starting a Civil War. This episode then does something really nice in subverting that expectation by setting up the tragedy (John is to die, can't change that) and allowing him to survive and not just that but ending it with him getting exactly what he'd wanted here in the beginning of the episode, getting to freely be with Mary.

I adore how Carlos calms down the driver, showing once again the full range of their skill as hunter and empathy as person. Love them so so much!

Couldn't get a hold of John, says Mary, being more suspicious then if she and John had shown up together... I find that hilarious!

Also also, love that this clarified that fangs are still teeth aka u can identify people (vampires here) based on them. I love love love that!

Uuuù Betty is suspish about Mary.

God! Dean had to have loved the vampire robbers. Vobbers? Rompires? Vambbers?

Oh noooo John! Don't be ur children! Don't just pick up random amulets like a moron! (At least we know who they got it from?)

Carlos is almost just as bad, my God! You see ur friend drop it like it hot and you just bend to.pick it urself?! Ah, Carlos, the range you got babe.

John dying by vamps begins my headache of the night because it is 1000% a callback to Dean's death in 15x20. And I wish that wasnt the case.

Ok let's talk Ursitoare (Uhr- see-too-ah-reh) a sec. So this is Romanian myth. To give an overview of it, the myth largely relates to the Ursitoare (or Fates you could say) blessing or cursing a new born after they've been born. Usually the legend states that the mother or midwife would have to leave out gifts (generally food like bread or water or salt etc) to basically appease them and make sure the baby gets a good destiny foretold. It's also states that those who eavesdrop on them as they tell the childs destiny shall die. They are also said to be quick to anger if spurned. Another interesting think tho about the myth is that (while there can sometimes be 7 or 9) the 3 ursitoare are generally known as Ursitoarea, Soarta si Moartea (aka the One who Wishes your fortune, Fate and Death) again the Greak Fates work very well and there's def overlap between the myths here. But importantly, Ursitoarea is the oldest and Death the Youngest (or othewise simply stated as the 3rd).

Now based on this we have a few things to keep in mind, mainly our vampires. They esentially eavesdrop on John's fate here and get exactly what the legend states - killed. In other news, the Ursitoare are very much neutral beings generally. They can be plied with offerings sure, but overall they just spin the thread as it goes. Its only ever an active role when wishing the newborns destiny. Now John's our newborn here, new to hunting at least, reborn once already after the war and a second time after confrunting everything he has since hunting became his life. More importantly, in some versions of the myth, the ursitoare give either the mother or the midwife dreams the night after the baby is born that need to be carefully interpreted afterwards - exactly what the Gem does here.

To wrap this part up a bit, I am.endlessly happy about the way they tackled this myth. SPN had sadly a bad bad record with Romanian mythology and lore - 1st with the witches in s7 which I'd argue was ... 'inspired' by rromani mythology rather than Romanian which is its own culture and as such its own racist connotation to that whole mess. And 2nd with the Imaginary Friends in s 11 aka Zanna .... which has absolutely nothing to do with Romanian mythology beyond slapping a horrendous mispronunciation of Zână onto a piece of lore that doesnt exist in Romanian mythos - we don't have any imaginary friend stuff, its literally all imported from the US. So this lore here? This is fucking aces! It actually makes sense, is actually a Romanian myth that is still being invoked nowadays - especially in the countryside as tradition of baptising/birth and it works very well in the context of the episode. Now, it would've been perfect if they didnt add that shh sound in Ursitoare making ir Urshitoare... Like its funny a bit cuz I constantly think of bears (urşi - ursh is plural for bear in Romanian) but its ok since its just that. I can live with a minor mispronunciation. I will say the Gem itself is fully made up tho for TW.

To answer Carlos tho, the Ursitoare themselves tell u 2 things: the future and also a future they are willing to bless or curse you with. It's essentially both. They show u the future, ur life as it's meant to be exactly, no deviation, but only in pieces or really a piece as a dream and, importantly the sorta end result of ur life which they wish upon u as newborn. How u get to that wish is up to you. The Gem.appears to have merged these two.

I also love love love the show of community that hunters have, that a hunters network is important to getting the job done. It makes me strangle SPN!John worse because he actively isolated himself aaand his kids. Ffs!

Awwwweee I like Betty! I mean shes a cop soo... not great but shes nice and cares so much and is worried :((

Millie does a good job here I think. She's not dismissive of Bettys concerns, but shes also careful to dispel them if possible. She shows once more how good she is at manipulating people, tho admitedly this time it isnt anything malicious or even generally negative.

I also gotta say that Betty (and id say John by extension) is very naive to think that war could in any way shape or form help with the issues John had had. Like he had trauma from his fathers abandonment and his mothers general treatment afterwards, had trauma from the disfunctional relationship the two had before Henry died/left, which all was underscored by deep-seated guilt that he let out as rage. Like all war would do is make it far far worse. It shows just how young Betty is truly and how she really hasn't lived through too much yet. And i said John too because Im fairly sure he also thought going to war would help in a similar manner.

I also headcanon that Betty was very inspired by Millie... but thats just me.

Carlos continues to be a dumb dumb about Anton... unsurprising, but omg.

I forgot the stone was carved from the Ursitoare's ribs... is it just me who though of the birth of Eve here??? Also yes, Il Soarta is def Italian I realize now. Do i question why an Italian cult was obsessed with Romanian myth.. absolutely not.

Im think that the 'most times not'part of what destiny the Gem shows u is due to essentially the stone acting as ... well... an eavesdropper. Literally. It was given to specific people to use by the Ursitoare as recompense for their worship - so good fate; but then as time went on it became a useful artifact for the benefit of Il Soarta so it became a way to eavesdrop on destiny so said destiny changed in them because that worship became.in name only. As mentioned, the Ursitoare arent patient and dont take well to being spurned or used in this case.

God the drip on the vamps, love them so much!

I would also argue that fate ultimately doesn't care about anyone if the whole universe is in jeopardy and uve a bigger destiny like John Winchester does.

I agree with Mary calling Millie here. Especially since she actually.knows what it's like to just ... lose someone like that. John does too, but he's also the one in the middle of it.

Ironic that Mary says "even if i have to kill every vampire in the tri-state area " ... a version of her actually does do that... for her kids. And simultaneously, its ironic also that another version of John will tell their kids that vampires are extinct (which could get them killed fyi).

Millie and Dean would be horrible together... all theyd do is work in the garage and shittalk research... and I kind love that for them.

I also like that Millie does in fact tell John bout Betty and also basically tells him.to not bullshit a bullshitter. This convo between Millie and John might be the 1st truly empathetic one we've had for them. Like yes, John's defenses go up instantly and he immediately assumes that Millie agrees with Betty and is judging him, but Millie, this time, doesnt do that. She just wants to check-in on how he's doing. And does so softly. And believes him more importantly.

And of course, back to the tried and true Winchester feelings avoidance after we've just had a helluva emotionally vulnerable talk.

I live for Carlos being disappointed in the vamps housing choices. I too would judge that. (So would Dean tbh)

Aaaaand Carlos once more gives us the biggest puzzle piece to where the vamps are.

While Lata is once more absolutely delighted by the magic lockpick like the wonderful nerd she is.

Millie to John "Dont do what u always do, not today" --> leads him directly to the room hes gonna die in. Irony at its finest.

A lot of irony in this episode, i realize now...

God I adore Carlos v vampires fight scene, its soo good. And its followed by the equally as fantastic Mary v vampires. Ahhh, I love them all so much.

Ppl really shouldn't fuck with Mary Campbell when shes pissed and worried.

I will miss the vamps tho... i really liked them :(

Ah yes, Winchester ingenuity at its finest... 🙈

I like what this ep says about how dead mans blood works? It implies that vampires literally drain the life force through the blood because the dead mans blood only came into effect once John did actually die - a few moments after he got bit thus implying a certain supernatural link between the blood just ingested and John's lifeforce. I vibe with that.

Ah yes... the full context - still drives me.mad. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN ROBBIE?! Especially with all the parallels TW has to SPN.

I appreciate the CPR not stopping until only after they think he really did die for good. U DONT stop CRP for dramatic pause ( advice to othee shows/movies or in ro aviz amatorilor)

Antoooooonnnnnn!

Anton and Carlos!!! 💓💓💓 yay!

And they're using their words! They're communicating guys 😭 im so proud

Damn... Mary and John are being cute too 🥲

Dun dun dun!

Betty and Kyle and Kyle is Akrida! 😱

Sorry, i dont got anything revealing or deep to say about the ending here 🤣🤣🤣 its all plot and relationships.

Aand so we reach the end of another episode, 4 more to go!

I will say time and distance made this episode easier to watch for me. 15x20 had fucked me up before and made it very hard to watch without refering back to it. It has several parallels to Dean and dying specifically. The main one ofc being death adjacent to vampires. But it also has John killing himself for the sake of the hunt which sadly doesn't bode well either because it reminds me of a really bad couple of weeks back in 2017 when i had the realization that Dean has literally been shown as suicidal every single season (and i can name the ep, its so clear) and then Advanced Thanatology hit the Tv screens on nov 9th 2017... not a fun realization and def not a fun series of events afterwards. Sorry to bring this up here, but well... its relevant sadly.

Thankfully tho, this episode works well to deconstruct that and to subvert the spn finale by allowing John to live and to fully embrace his realtionship with Mary.

In other news, next ep will anger me a bit... for.multiple reason, some having already been discussed by people better equiped to talk about it then me. But rest assured, ive shit to say outside of that too, so see y'all for ep 10. Im aiming to have that up by the end of the week.

And thanks to @noybusiness and @shallowseeker for encouranging me to continue this.

[rcsebane]

thinking about how cain used to be so different when he was a teenager, before he even met abel, and how he was shaped into the person he is now. as teenager he acted fake polite to get on people's good side, to form connections with other wicked minds. however he never used any endearing words like darling, dear or ma chèrie, not even around females. he did flirt whenever he could though. actually, this habit formed much later because of roselyn, who often used endearing names around him. he was actually very rude and insulting back then, letting his mask slip whenever anger took over. his favorite word to use was definitely imbecile. he also believed to be smarter than anyone around him, though while he strongly believed it to be true, it was actually another form of protecting himself.

cain, poor and with only his wits helping him survive, walked the streets alone, not knowing what trust even felt like. he preferred to take advantage of naive people and people lacking any sort of intelligence (in his eyes). he never formed deep connections and made sure to be in control during conversations and relationships (any). this lead him to always watch his back, paranoid and expecting betrayal, which is ironic because he betrays his father later. speaking of his father, cain was taught early on that he couldn't even trust a parent, someone who's supposed to love and protect him. family is a foreign concept to him, same as friendship and love. so imagine the confusion he must have felt when he met abel's parents and they trusted their son's judgement even though cain was a stranger with no money to his name.

he came from a dysfunctional family / life straight into a functional one, he even got a proper job and learned about the importance of actually caring about someone else, without fearing any backstabbing. he spent ten years feeling safe and sound, eventually trusting abel enough to open up, to be his true self. yelling at the other, insulting him, being completely honest with no filters, no mask, and abel accepted all of him. for the first time cain actually felt understood, wanted and loved, like he was part of a family. however, while his heart was filled with joy, it was also filled with anxiety. his old life left scars on him, too deep to push aside and ignore. for a long time he had nothing, then suddenly everything he could ever dream of. the fear of losing it all again slowly poisoned his mind. it drove him into old habits again, such as mingling with questionable company behind the noble family's backs.

ironically, his fear became reality, because he desperately tried to avoid it from happening. he murdered abel because of love. knowing that he'd one day marry a fair maiden and leave his side scared cain, he didn't want to share him and if he was going to lose him one day anyway, at least this way he could be in control of the when and where. then there was the fear of losing his new life, his home, he wanted to take abel's spot as the new son, since his parents already treated cain like one. there was only one error in his calculations. he believed others to be complete fools but in the end it was a person, a person he took advantage of and deemed stupid, who became his doom. that and empathy, which he always deemed a weakness, not even realizing that it was empathy that granted him this new life. in the end, he sabotaged himself, only believing in his intelligence and not in the heart, which then lead to his downfall.

afterwards, roselyn fishes him out of the lake, teaching him a proper lesson about actions and consequences.

[stoneheart-paramour]

"oh this one will definitely be a shorter chapter"

no the fuck it won't you dingus. you utter fool. you hopeless buffoon. you keep saying this and it's never true!!!

ok in my defense tho, i didn't originally plan to include the Pom Pom intro scene, so... i would have been right probably, maybe!!

in any case... i finished the outline for the last scene of the chapter. also made some notes for stuff to remember as i'm writing, like way the POV characters are currently thinking/feeling, as a kind of guide for how they're going to speak/act. for example, at this point in time, Aventurine doesn't see Caelus as a person - this is a means to an end. as a result, he isn't using Caelus' name much when talking about him to Topaz, he just calls him "the bearer" as it gives him very comfortable separation from the reality which is, of course, the fact that Caelus IS a person. but Aventurine can't think about that or the ethical ramifications might haunt him, oh no!

this is especially important for Aventurine to be doing, because he doesn't actually know what Diamond is even gonna do with Caelus. actually he's not even exactly thinking about the particulars of what presenting Diamond with "the Sanguine Petrification" would mean. which is to say, they gotta kidnap the dude! they can't just siphon the curse off him, Caelus IS the "trace of immortality" they're looking for. but Aventurine can't let himself think about any of that or dwell on it for too long, because even if he's able to act the part of a scheming, heartless bastard, he DOES have a conscience. he DOES care about things and people. he DOES have empathy, and in fact, if he allows himself to think even a little bit about the implications of what he's collaborating to accomplish, he'll immediately connect it with his own kidnapping and captivity that he experienced as a child, and there'd be no going back for him. so, intentionally or not, he's keeping Caelus' personhood far, far from his mind and focusing only on the concept of the Sanguine Petrification curse, the concept of handing it over to Diamond. it's imperative that it all remains abstract and separated out, or he's gonna fucking lose it.

Caelus, on the other hand, is in the beginning stages of experiencing the doubt and fear that will torment him more and more as time goes on. he's got the next set of "bread crumbs", the clues left behind for him to follow in the quest to unravel the mystery of his own identity, but this time he's not sharing them with the Trailblazers. there's a part of him that gets this horrible feeling the vials contain information that could cause problems if anyone else learned about it - and he's right. however, he doesn't know that right away, not even after consuming the honey, because he doesn't actually know the significance of what he discovered until after finally confessing to what he'd done/been hiding. but that's all happening a little later. at this present moment, the doubts and worries are pretty vague, and he wants to think he's being unreasonable to even feel this way.

[handicappedbuenchico]

21. What is your most marked characteristic? (hint: A marked characteristic is a term used to describe something that is very obvious and easily noticed)

1754. In what way are you too hard on yourself?

433. Have you ever cried at a movie?

DITTO. SAME QUESTIONS.

21. What is your most marked characteristic? (hint: A marked characteristic is a term used to describe something that is very obvious and easily noticed)

My most marked characteristic? I mean, that would depend on who I'm around I'm being honest. My therapist points out my intelligence, resilience, and kindness a lot. My younger brother loves to point out my yellow teeth and the fact that I'm fat A LOT (even though he has no room to talk considering he still looks like Jack Skellington with a skin suit on at 19 years old and teeth that are WORSE than mine). My dad always points out my hyper-empathy, an aspect of myself that I have never had any control over, in the most condescending ways possible ("You whiner!" "You need to learn to let what I did to you shit go!" "You let things get to you too easily!" You know, shit like that.) My mother always feels the urge and need to point out my body hair whenever she sees that I haven't shaved in a while, you know, because goodness forbid a woman doesn't shave for a long period of time 🙄. Honestly, it's interesting to me that a lot of the characteristics that have been pointed out to me over the years are direct results of me being a formerly undiagnosed autistic girl who was never taught basic self-care and hygiene and with deep rooted trauma that I will probably never fully heal from.

1754. In what way are you too hard on yourself?

Would you like the summarized version or my entire scroll that circles the earth 5 times over? Right now, the main things I am really hard on myself for is the fact that I couldn't even finish college, yet my younger sister with ADHD could get her bachelor's degree in psychology, nor can I find a job to at least contribute monetarily to my living situation. It also doesn't help that my hypocrite deadbeat father who refuses to apply his own "advice" to his own life keeps fostering this feeling within me by reminding me and my younger brother (who college also didn't work for and is also ADHD) that we "better figure out what we want to do," and "should look at trade school if we don't want to go back to college," you know, because trades aren't an oversaturated field BECAUSE of people like him giving advice like that. My dad doesn't even have, nor does he even want to get, his G.E.D and he's preaching "facts" at me and my brother like he FUCKING KNOWS WHAT HE'S TALKING ABOUT! AHHHHHHHHHHH! I'm also hard on myself for struggling with something as simple as starting a task, or struggling to do tasks that I KNOW I can do normally, but for some reason my brain and body disconnect from each other, like Bluetooth headphones that are too far away from the phone their connected to, and then I feel fucking stupid because I either forget how I was taught to do it OR I'll stop mid-task and stare into the ether wondering what the fuck I'm doing. I'm also exhausted constantly even though most days I barely do anything, unless you count having anxious and existential dread thoughts, as well as most definitely having autistic burnout, as extraneous activities. I've been really hard on myself for that lately too.

433. Have you ever cried at a movie?

Not going to lie, I don't remember ever crying while watching a movie in the theater, but I KNOW that I've cried while watching movies at home. My most recent movie cry was while watching the last Guardians of the Galaxy movie when Rocket's having his own moment of "dying character meeting his dead friend/relative/love interest again after a long time in a white void and the dead person tells the dying character that it's not their time to go yet." Like, I KNEW it was going to happen, but it still had me crying like a baby FOR REAL. 😭😭😭

[raid3r-r4bbit]

Ironically, Maxson, being what 22? Is like my age? He's been cooped up with the BoS so long he's definitely not had enough actual life experience or anything to have properly matured in a normal way. Not only that but everyone points out "He was rushed into being the elder" but nobody points out that he was raised around a bunch of adults. Military minded 'religious fanatic' adults. Iirc, he didn't have any other kids to play with or develop proper social skills with, learn empathy with, learn to share with etc.

Danse isn't just talking to him like that to save his life, he's talking to maxson like an enraged child be cause he practically is one. He has like, zero empathy. And no forward thinking. He's willing to send you into the institute to retrieve one scientist to destroy the institute but orders you to kill another despite the fact that he could CURE super mutants?

Like right now, go to a child, hand them some toys and set-up this senerio: these guys are the bad guys, these guys are the good guys, now go. And whatever they will do will look like whatever he'd do. The literal only thing he knows is military.

Danse, while technically not having a real childhood, has memories or playing with others in the ruins of the capital wasteland. Was a vendor with normal people in rivet city. He's actually experienced real life outside of a bunker or warship. He's also got actual empathy; when he talks about his friends that he's lost, there's memories, emotional connection, reflection.

When maxson talks about it he goes straight into the same rehearsed "they were a good soilder, shame theyre gone cause they were useful, moving on."

And Danse is the machine? The cold un-feeling thing? Nope.

I love how about halfway through Maxson's unclipped hysterical little monologue/rant in Blind Betrayal Danse basically just starts talking to him like he's a child. Soothing & even voice, calm and direct, keeps using his first name. It's genuinely my favorite part of the quest we should talk about it much more.

[ladyloveandjustice]

Spring 2023 Anime Overview: Skip and Loafer and Birdie Wing Season 2

Skip and Loafer

Mitsumi comes from a small, under-populated town and her dream is to become a government official and help her town out. After getting into an elite high school in Tokyo, she moves there and finds that there are a lot of challenges in the big city and new people to meet. Her new friend, Sousuke, is a nice, popular guy, but he also has a troubled past. But Mitsumi is determined to face anything life throws her way!

Skip and Loafer is just one of those shows that’s like a warm hug. Mitsumi is an instantly endearing protagonist- dorky, earnest, and driven. She's overwhelmed moving from her small town to Tokyo, and a little naive about some things, but she's  a can-do gal determined to make it work! There's an overwhelming kindness to Skip and Loafer that permeates every inch of it. Characters that would just be a simple antagonist or "mean girl" in other anime have their struggles explored and become whole, realized people with good points and bad points.

Sousuke is a troubled former child star who experiences some conflict, but it's not like Mitsumi 'fixes' him-  he simply learns and grows through his experiences with her, both through their conflicts and moments of connection. There's some great female friendships too, and they focus on girls from different social spheres working to find real connection to each other and trying to look past stereotypes and misconceptions. It shows why labels like 'popular girl', 'nerd girl', and so on, are no reason to judge someone.

There's also some nice trans representation with Mitsumi's aunt, Nao, who is a trans woman. Nao-chan's a fun character, who tries to guide her overwhelmed s niece and forms a surprising connection with one of her friends, while still showing off her own sweet and goofy quirks and giving hints about her own life story and how it shaped her outlook. She is also truly wise:

Some brief transphobia towards Nao is shown in the form of people whispering about her on the train, but Mitsumi immediately holds her hand and shows support. Skip and Loafer's kindness extends to the treatment of Nao-chan, and we're clearly meant to cheer for her as she thrives.

All-in-all, Skip and Loafer is a relaxing, entertaining and funny- it has a light touch and a focus on relationships, treating the conflicts and complications high schoolers can face with nuance and empathy. The characters are loveable and the setting is fully realized. The animation is very cute and delivers a couple of beautiful moments. It was the most consistently excellent show I watched this season (even if it didn't reach the highest highs of some other shows) and I think anyone who enjoys slice of life shows, or just wants something that's pleasant to watch but has enough depth to remain entertaining, should definitely check it out.

Birdie Wing Season 2

Premise: Season 2 of the saga where two girl golf geniuses just want to face each other one the green and have their homoerotic sports rivalry like they were MEANT TO, but weird family drama and the actual mafia keep getting in the way.

In my review of Birdie Wing's first season, I completely enjoyed the show's absurdity, but was worried it could all come crashing down in the second season. Fortunately, it did not! Birdie Wing: Golf Girls' Story remains a bombastically absurd sports anime that is fun to watch all the way through. Please come watch these girls get ridiculous sports injuries, scream their super golf attacks, and be ten times more intense than your average shonen sports show.

Birdie Wing also pulled some great moves this season, like having Eve's caddy from golfing high school be pulled into the absurd world of the golf mafia and react to it with the same panicked confusion the audience might. "They're going to KILL you if you LOSE A GOLF GAME? Why is the golf course like this? How much does this cost?" she cries while Eve just shrugs everything off.

Meanwhile, the show finally brings in the bread and butter of sports anime- injuries and diseases that the main characters are going to ignore for the love of sport. But the tired trope becomes wonderfully absurd and almost verges on pointed commentary when it's GOLF, the sport of retirees, causing these ridiculous injuries. Seeing Eve gets covered with bandages because she golfed too fucking hard, or having this line:

...It really throws into perspective how ridiculous sports anime is when it glamorizes people destroying their bodies for the 'love of the game'. I don't know if that was intentional, but it is very funny.

I am immensely grateful that the plot twist I was fearing didn't come to fruition in the show- instead, in classic Birdie Wing fashion, they teased that terrible plot twist, but instead gave an explanation that was a thousand times more soap opera-esque and ridiculous. I have to to applaud that moxie.

But what's important is that the true believers made it through. We're okay. (If you want to know what I'm talking about and don't mind spoilers, please enjoy this meme I made based off a famous tweet by Crunchyroll).

I must share an anecdote- I had to watch the finale while on vacation with my Mom. When she overheard all the yelling, she was like "are you watching a magical girl show?" "no it's a sports anime- they're playing golf" "Oh...why does it sound like a magical girl show?"

Sadly, the finale was a little bit of a let down- it was rushed compared to other parts of the show and felt like less than it could be. (Considering G-witch had the same problem, I wonder if it was a Bandai wide issue).

But it was still fun. While Aoi and Eve sadly do not kiss or become an explicit couple (despite Aoi very much wanting to!), there is at least absurd golf team up moment you could read as being a Super Deep metaphor for their love. Not much of an excuse, but it's something. The end of the show didn't go as hard as it could have (or, I think, should have) but it was still ridiculously, wonderfully Birdie Wing.

 I was disappointed Aoi and Eve were separated this season so much (and unlike the first season, did not pine for each other nearly as much during separations since they were busy contending with ridic plot stuff), but on the plus side, there weren't really many 'sexual menace' or jarringly mature moments like the first season had. 

Overall, I think it was a really solid follow up, and I can now wholeheartedly recommend Birdie Wing as a show. Just heed the content warnings I left in my first review so you too don't get killed by golf! Once you're ready, let the glorious golf wash over you. You won't regret it.

[cloudinterlude]

Do you think Howard was faithful to Marla? I ask this cuz a part of me says yes but then realistically, his history 😭😭 speaking of history, and the bits and pieces we got. What do you think Howard’s childhood/up bringing was like? And how do you think it shaped him? I love your analysis

Hi! Thanks for the ask!

I actually will give a definite yes on the question of Howard's fidelity to Maria. His raunchy history and the time period is certainly something that could make you question it, but Howard didn't perfectly fit into the common mold of a man back then and he was a playboy because he didn't commit. Howard was very free with his affections when he was single. And that's the key - he was for and in any willing woman because he had no commitments and certainly didn't entertain the women who thought he would settle down for them (cue montage of Peggy and Jarvis visiting all those women who were pissed at Howard for disappearing the next day and leaving them with a bracelet lol).

Everything was casual for him. Peak flaky womanizer with no strings attached - at least on his end. But when it comes to committing to someone he presumably actually cares about, well, I don't see MCU Howard indulging in that kind of betrayal. I can agree on things like "Howard was a negligent husband and father" or "Howard grew to be emotionally unavailable to his wife" because we see pieces of those aspects in him already. Infidelity though? I can't find the breadcrumbs for that. In fact, he seems to be more loyal to people he cares about.

I will say though, that if Howard at any point of his life stuck with a casual girlfriend rather than a wife, well, lol. The cheating trait might have a leg to stand on. Depends on how much he values someone. But even then, I think he'd just send Jarvis to the hypothetical gf to break up for him if he lost interest in her.

When it comes to his childhood...I honestly don't have any solid theories. Howard told us he grew up poor with parents who didn't hold jobs that would be considered high ranking. The area he grew up in was poor. And so, to make it to the wealthiest parts of society, he lied and cheated his way up seeing as his charm, intelligence and wit were the only resources he had to use. I'd imagine Howard's genius was isolating at times. Not only when it came to connecting to his peers, but maybe also with his parents. People who have super-genius children often don't know how to accommodate their intellect, even if they had the resources to put their kid's brain to use. Howard's parents evidently had none, so who knows with that. On the subject if I have any headcanons on Howard's parents being loving vs abusive, well. I can only imagine that they, at most, were emotionally distant. Howard learned that trait from somewhere lol. I don't think they were particularly horrible to Howard...maybe confused and worried. He's an odd person. of course, this is all speculation on my part!

How it shaped it - well, it's how we see him act now (in Agent Carter)! He keeps most people at a distance, is flaky, distrusting of even the people he values, ect ect. But, his difficult upbringing and rise to the top also gifted him a sense of empathy, generosity and some righteous anger. He completely understands the nuances of societal discrimination and how difficult it can be for people with different lives. Hence why he himself is not a hateful bigot.

I'm glad you like my character posts <3 <3 <3!! Honestly, I never expected to talk about Howard this much. I already liked him in CATFA, but Agent Carter added so much more dimension to his character and it peaked my interest. And as I've said, I never know how to like something a normal amount lol.