#DryHumor

[zombiedeers]

you cannot say that and not provide the starving garcia fans without some garcia and Rick content

Ofc ofc,, what was i thinking not posting something of them :3

Here ya go! I offer some Rick/Garcia, which I have decided is called DryHumor LMAOOO

[whiskeymove]

Whiskey Move 2.0 – Now With a Fancy Intro

The channel finally has an intro. It’s short. It’s simple. It only took way too long to make. If you like classic cocktails, a bit of history, and a slightly awkward host — you’re in the right place. Welcome to Whiskey Move.

👉 Want me to follow me on social media? If so, click here: https://www.instagram.com/whiskey_mov...

V I D E O S    T O    W A T C H    N E X T

Negroni vs Sbagliato: A Battle Full of Mistakes    • Negroni vs Sbagliato: A Battle Full of Mis...  

Why Your Mint Hates You    • Why Your Mint Hates You  

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👉🏻Links below

As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

“I drink to make other people more interesting."

Ernest Hemingway

Inquiries: whiskeymove@gmail.com

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[chyrsalisepiphanies]

just wondering when my cookies will come in. I accept them off the internet all the time. i’m starving. i hope they come soon.

[artscreat1]

How to learn sarcasm sweat hoodies | designed by-artscreat

[editxalena]

Me, reading 48,000 words of emotional tension for 2 paragraphs of awkward bed creaking.

[maddysmusings]

I woke up from my dream today and remembered with dread that it was my 35th birthday. But my unavoidable and inevitable aging isn't the worst part of my day. Because today is the day I'm bringing my girlfriend to jail. I rise from my bed on the floor of my parent's basement and make my way to the bathroom on the second floor that I share with my mom. My dad has to have the one on the first floor to himself because he doesn't want "girls bathroom cooties" to infect his perfect "deuce dropping environment." Which makes sense to me because it takes him a lot of effort to take a dump which probably him to lose brain cells from concentrating that hard. I know he doesn't have a lot to work with already, so I'm willing to be ok with sharing. I make my way upstairs to mine and my mother's bathroom to make myself look good for when I drop my girlfriend off at the Soderville State Penitentiary. I rinse off my overnight slime face and brush the morning breath away in the hopes that my expired toothpaste works today. I then make my way back down to my sweet pad and pick out something that says "my girlfriend is going to jail, but she's not like a dangerous criminal, and I don't want to be doing this, but I am because I'm a supportive, loving partner." It's just so hard to find an outfit for these occasions. I don't want anything too flashy, but I don't want to look like a bum. Maybe just my Guess low-rise-dark wash, ultra baggy- limited edition-perfect for every occasion-lightweight jean. But maybe this isn't a Guess low-rise- dark wash-ultra baggy- limited edition-perfect for every occasion, lightweight jean situation. Perhaps this is more of an Old Navy mid-rise-flared work-pleated-beige tan- grandma select-button bottom-work pant situation. I just don't know. Maybe just my "straight outta compton" shirt and skinny jeans so that people there know I'm cool. I throw on my clothes, grab my keys, and head for the door. I say goodbye to mom and dad and head out to pick up Sheila. When I arrive at Sheila's trailer, she doesn't look too happy to see me, or maybe she's just nervous for her first day of jail; it's always hard to tell with her. She climbs into my suburu forester and we make the trek to the big house. As we get closer, her mood seems to be getting more surly, which I find odd because for the first time in her life, she'll have good healthcare and multiple bathrooms. I try to cheer her up by mentioning this, but it only seems to make her more upset, so I just keep quiet and turn up the Tracy Chapman song playing. We finally get there after what seems like a lifetime, and she asks me to come in with her even though I only agreed to drop her off. I guess since I'm being a supportive girlfriend, I could do her the honor of gracing her with my presence up to the orange jumpsuit factory. We walk in together, hand in hand, and check in with the guard at the desk. We wait there for about 20 minutes until another guard comes in to take her in for the next 10 years. We say goodbye, and Sheila starts to tear up, and I remind her that she probably won't even have to stay that long if she has good behavior. She gives me a look that says she would like to flay me and feed my meat sack to a hungry lion while I watch, but before she could tell me off, the guard took her through the bulletproof door, and just like that, she was in jail. I turned on my heel and walked out to the sound of her yelling profanities at me in the way I love the most. This birthday has been one of the best in a long time, and I still have my birthday party back home to look forward to. My parents got me the cookie cake I wanted.

[petgs]

My umbrella skills are so advanced, I dodge raindrops like a ninja. Stay dry, my friends. #RainNinja #DryHumor #WetWeatherWarrior

[ravikirancomedy]

Expectation vs. Reality – Parenting Edition Expectation: Perfect kids. Reality: Total chaos!

[toruandmidori]

HAPPY ANNUAL RELIGIOUS HOLIDAY WE NEITHER ASCRIBE TO.

Celebrate someone else’s imaginary friend’s baby’s birthday with our new minimalist, wry and dry humor holiday shirts or xmas sweaters.

Great Christmas gifts for atheists, the perpetually confused and anyone else being forced to be “merry” against their will. 

Buy online here:

T SHIRT

SWEATER

[oliviaboler]

I've started a new story up on Wattpad. Very raw, not Beta read yet. Check it out!

[thejestpress]

City’s Water Running Out Faster Than Your New Year’s Resolutions

#DryHumor #TapDancing #H2OhNo #LiquidAssets #SpongeBobWhereAreYou By: TheJestPress.com In a shocking twist that nobody, including the local swimming pool association, saw coming, the city of Dribbleton now faces the unprecedented crisis of running out of water “within weeks.” Scientists have described the situation as “wetter-than-ever, except in all the wrong ways,” leaving residents wondering…

[stylists-supporting-stylists]

𝘣𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘧𝘶𝘭 𝘧𝘰𝘭𝘬𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘢𝘭𝘴𝘰 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘥𝘳𝘺 𝘩𝘶𝘮𝘰𝘳. ⁣

Credit to @mandaziegelman

*𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐁𝐒 𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐄𝐘𝐄𝐁𝐀𝐋𝐋*

#haircutdrama

#funnyvideo

#dryhumor

#lifestylehair

#rocknrollhair

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#portlandartist

#artistssupportingartists

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#mullethaircut

#stylistssupportingstylists

#mandaziegelman

[tannaschrick]

This might be my favorite Jess quote

[artscreat1]

i speak fluent sarcasm sweatshirt design by artscreat

[tryerofpods]

Hector vs. the Future is a 7 episode podcast from Stuff that Talks, and recorded in front of a live audience. Hector is the crochety curator with a clockwork pacemaker in charge of The Obsoletium, where families can wonder at the marvels and inventions of the past. Grammaphones, reel-to-reel tape, fax machines, ahh yes, all the important not-so-modern marvels. But what's this?? The Obsoletium isn't very popular! And the mayor wants to tear it down and give the funds to The Uptodatium, Hector's arch rivals, Biz and her Robot-hologram Phil--who themselves are so busy running around making sure they're always "up to date" with the latest technologies to really notice Hector's loathing. Together with his trusty assistant (and pacemaker winder), George, Hector must find a way to increase patrons, earn some money to save the museum, and schmooze the mayor. Hijinks ensue as we find Hector is ill-suited to most of these tasks. If you like, Wooden Overcoats, then Hector vs. The Future is for you! At 7, 40 minute episodes, it's ready for your next project day! Simply funny and delightful.