#Erjon too kind

[ffxivtribehydrae]

It was kind of awkward to travel back... I think all my apologizing annoyed him too, even if it still is hard to tell what he is thinking.

How could I possibly thank him for sticking with me? Even after I attacked him? Now I'm just worried about the company... If they find out, what will happen to me? Or when they find out... Erjon said I should be the one to tell them what happened.

I have nowhere to go if they want me to leave... I just don't want to hurt anyone by accident, in case that happens again...

[umbralsound-xiv]

An Unlikely Confidant.

I... Had cooked. It helps to settle my nerves. Helps me feel as though i am doing something useful. Something to help. Sayuri was sleeping, so i left her meal close by, and... ....I had always intended to make extra. It was a while since i had cooked in the company house, and... ...Well. He understands. Understands where the others do not.

Eir Fellfrost approaches the door with an almost… Hesitant set of footfalls, remaining just outside the door he'd never so much as knocked upon, never mind entered. With a tray on one arm, he raps against the door thrice, offering no verbal accompaniment, and… Waiting.

Erjon Sjadarwesfv was sitting by his workbench like he was wont to do, looking through a magnifying glass at a piece of intricate technology he was melding with various tools. "The door's open." He called without taking his attention away from his work.

A gentle push sees the door slowly open, as Eir nudges it with a foot, to step carefully in, and allow it to close behind him. Eir sucks in a breath as some kind of greeting, words not quite leaving him, remaining in an awkward sort of silence until he finally manages; "I… Brought you something to eat." A pause, as he glances away. "In… Case you were hungry."

One ear turned in the direction of the voice before eyes followed, glancing at his sudden visitor. "Oh? What a surprise, how considerate. You seem to always know when I'm hungry." His focus returned to his work, adding a crystal into a small chamber before screwing it shut. "I'll be done in just a few minutes, make yourself comfortable." Then he paused to look up in thought. "… Well, I don't have a couch, I just realized. But there should be a chair somewhere."

His room is... Not the tidiest. It feels like i walked into some secluded R and D sector back in the empire. ...I suppose that was his specialty.

Eir Fellfrost traces his gaze over the room with a largely… Neutral expression. Though he doesn't move at first on account of not finding anywhere exactly… Comfortable. Spying an unoccupied chair, he finally makes his way to it, settling the tray down in what sliver of free space he could find, gently shifting the array of bottles to one side. That done, he gathers up the papers on the chair, and… Holds them, on account of not exactly finding somewhere to put them down. "What… Are you working on?"

Erjon Sjadarwesfv: "An aetherical charger." The little trinket that contained the crystal was placed in a cylinder and screwed shut. "It is loaded with a shard of lightning crystal and can be used to restore energy for tools that suddenly run out. Should come in handy for aetherical scientists." He glanced over his shoulder at Eir. "Boring stuff like that." Setting the device aside, he turned around on the stool to have a better look at what food Eir had brought. "And what have you brought me then?"

Eir Fellfrost: "Curried… Raptor, i think the meat is? It is gamey, but lends itself well to spices. Samosa, and… We were out of mangoes, so… Persimmon lassi." An almost uncomfortable quiet passes, as Eir once again fails to find somewhere to put down the clutter, but simply opts to sit holding it, instead. "…Handy for anything aetheric. Or magitek? I suppose it might be too volatile to use ceruleum on something so small without accidentally turning it into an explosive…"

I know little when it comes to technology or aether, but it is hard to know nothing, being alive as long as i have.... And being so privy to so many messages during my service.

Erjon Sjadarwesfv whistled. "You really thought I was starving, hm? My thanks." He got up and invited himself over to the tray of food, picking up a samosa and taking a bite right away. "I'm more used to ceruleum as a power source of course, but I'm finding good use for crystals. They're more common in Eorzea, it would seem." He waved the samosa at the papers Eir was holding. "Don't mind those, just put them on the floor."

Eir Fellfrost tucks the papers beneath the chair he was sat on in an effort to keep them somewhat organised. "Well, it has been a while, has it not? Since we last… Spoke? I thought you might miss my cooking." He manages a small smile, but it doesn't reach as far as it usually did with his normal jesting.

Erjon Sjadarwesfv: "How sweet of you, Angreir. I'll have to start inviting you to dote on me." He headed to the large cabinet at the other end of the room and started looking through the array of bottles gathered on the shelf. "Want anything to drink? Afraid I don't exactly have any fruity cocktails."

Eir Fellfrost: "I have a wife for doting on, so i will have to decline. And…" He looks over the bottles, brow knit somewhat. "…Do you have anything -without- alcohol?"

I learned that lesson well by watching, too. Shio would guard every bottle she could, and drain them all just as fast. There were never any answers to be found at the bottom of them. She said they helped her to forget the family she had lost, and by the end of it... She could not stop drinking. ...I would not understand. I lost a family too, but i would remember them, always. ...But i swore i would only drink in celebration, which is for the best... I am perhaps not the most resilient when it comes to my tolerance for drink...

Erjon Sjadarwesfv rubbed his chin as if he genuinely had to think before answering. "I think I have some bottles of water from the infirmary I never touched." He rummaged though the bottles, the glass clinking as he inspected the contents of one after the other, until he found an innocent-looking, simple glass bottle with clear liquid inside. "Ah, there we go." The bottle of water was brought over and handed to Eir, while Erjon opened another with darker glass for himself.

Eir Fellfrost takes the bottle, though one opened it's regarded with some manner of hesitation. A small sip is taken, and when it's been assured it -is- water and not any kind of clear spirit, he nods, glancing away for a moment. "I… Do not know if you heard. Sayuri is in the infirmary, at the moment…"

...Even if he did not listen, it helped to get it off my chest. He is always so... Calm. ...I guess military training helped him in that regard far better than it ever did for me.

Erjon Sjadarwesfv tilted his head just a bit, watching Eir for a moment before going to grab the stool and move it closer so that he could reach the food while sitting down. "I heard. Well, I heard you at least. Screaming your throat sore when you arrived in a frenzy." He grabbed the plate of curry and began scooping the food into his mouth as he spoke. "Sounded like you got the help you needed right away at least."

Eir Fellfrost: "…I did. Neoma was close by and saw to the worst of it, with Dusk on hand to help. She will be okay, thankfully. She has ensured much worse. I… Barely suffered a scrape and some bruising." A small frown leaves him, then. "…I did not think i shouted so loud, but i was… So afraid…"

Erjon Sjadarwesfv chewed on his food as he lifted a hand to point at his own cheek. "A small nick, but you got to keep your eye at least." He paused to swallow. "That's nothing new, you're always afraid. So what happened that got you so riled up and landed missus Snowball in the infirmary?"

Eir Fellfrost: "…It is shallow enough that it did not need treatment. I barely realised i had it until the next sun…" He slowly tracing his fingers over the cold of the glass bottle, lips pursed as he takes a slow breath. "…We were out on a walk. And we were attacked. By the same people who took us." Eir speaks in some oddly calm sort of way, though wilts a little. "…I am not always afraid. But… I was then."

Erjon Sjadarwesfv: "Well, you got ambushed. Would be more strange if it didn't give you a fright." He reached for another samosa as he spoke. "You already knew they were still after you though, and they will keep trying. With how far they've been willing to go in the past, it was only a matter of time before they'd try again."

Eir Fellfrost: "Consciously, i… Know that. I did when i proposed, and when i chose to marry her. I was so frightened of losing her so soon…" Each set of words has an almost uneasy pause between them, as he takes a deep breath, and a drink of water. "…I killed someone. Hardly the first time, but… It was the first… Away from conscription. ---Away from the compound, anyway. The first i had -meant- to, in a long time, and i… Hated it. Every moment, but i do not feel… Bad about it."

I did not expect him to say anything that could help. Nor did i expect any kind of... Reassurance. I just needed to tell someone that would understand.

Erjon Sjadarwesfv looked at Eir, studying his expression and body language. He did not respond right away. "Did the situation demand you to do it?"

Eir Fellfrost: "...She told me to run. I could have. I did not." Eir's brow furrows a little deeper, then. "I -promised- her i would not run. Not from her."

Erjon Sjadarwesfv: "And one thing led to the other. Well then, see it like this. You were attacked, you were in danger, you defended yourself. Your wife was in danger, and with the past experiences you've both had, it might be a life or death situation. So, what do you do? You fight back. You do all you can to survive." He scooped some more food into his mouth. "That sounds rather reasonable, no? Not fun, of course. But imagine the outcome if you had not."

Eir Fellfrost: "...I do not regret it. I would rather be here, with this... Weight on my shoulders, than the alternative. Of her dead or taken by those bastards once again, burdened with guilt and grief that i did not do more. No, i... I killed him. I slit his throat with my chakram, and took his hand, first. It was not an accident, and i meant to do it. I just..." He swallows a small lump that had crawled up his throat, washing it away with water. "...I cannot remember the last time i... Fought. That i did not run."

Erjon Sjadarwesfv swallowed his food along with a swig from his own bottle. "You had a reason to fight rather than run this time. Of course it is going to be anything but pleasant, not just for the risks involved. You're no cold blooded killer, Eir. Well, I doubt you are, at least. Then again I might be terrible at judging."

No, no... He is right. I do not enjoy it. Take any kind of joy for it. Though i know the choice i made was the one that kept her safest, it does not mean it was one i delighted in picking. But it is the one i would pick again. Every single time.

Eir Fellfrost: "...I... Would make a poor soldier. I spent a long time proving that." A small huff, half amused, though it's a little bitter at the edges. "...I... Would do it again, though. If it meant keeping her safe." Eir watches as Erjon raises the bottle, brow knit in thought. "...When... Was the last time you... Killed someone?"

Erjon Sjadarwesfv looked up in thought for a second. "Probably when the Commander ordered me to get that girl Vex away from the same organization that are so obsessed with your wife. At least if we're talking people."

Eir Fellfrost: "...Do you... Feel anything, when you take a life?" Eir asks, allowing the silence to hang before he adds; "...Is it... The same as being conscripted?"

I know he goes to the field. Considering he was conscripted even longer than i had been, he is likely a far better combatant. I survived on the skills of my friends, and luck, nothing more.

Erjon Sjadarwesfv kept staring at Eir with his usual relaxed gaze before it drifted, thinking before his mauve eyes lifted to look at him as he responded. "It depends, really. I learned to disconnect from the guilt and displeasure long ago, after I was conscripted. Had I not, I doubt I would have been able to deal with following orders. That state of mind still appears whenever I know I am entering a fight."

Eir Fellfrost: "…I can understand. Though, i do not think i ever quite… Managed disconnecting. I never killed many. I ran. I was good at running. Suppose disconnecting yourself at least allows you to function."

Erjon Sjadarwesfv: "In a way. It can stop you from hesitating where hesitation could mean disaster. But not everyone can, or want to disconnect. And that's fine. Not everyone is the same after all. You deal with it the way that suits you best, and I deal with it the way that suits me best. Just like I prefer to sit here and tinker on aetherical chargers and whatnot. Can you imagine seeing me twirling around on my toes clad in jewelry to charm onlookers with the sway of my hips? Have fun with that mental image."

Eir Fellfrost offers a small smirk, a huffed half-laugh from his nose. It -is- genuine, at least. "You would look lovely until you started dancing, i think. Would you use wrenches instead of chakrams, i wonder?"

Erjon Sjadarwesfv: "Maybe that could be my thing. My stage name could be 'The Wrench Wench'. Or I would look like a maniac who is about to throw wrenches at people." He took another swig from his bottle. "Either way, see it like this, Eir. Killing is no fun, and not easy. But it can be a necessity, and sometimes we don't have the luxury of choice or time to think. Regret is useless. What is done is done. What you can do now, is simply to prepare for the next time something happens."

Eir Fellfrost: "…Thankfully, i do not regret my actions. I just needed… I do not know." He glances to Erjon, thinning his lips for a moment as he thought. "…Clarity, i suppose. I will likely have nightmares, but i wager neither of us are strangers to those, considering all we have been through. But if… When it does happen again. I will not hesitate. Not if it keeps her safe. I can save the panic and the tears for when we are home and safe."

...They are less often, these suns. And the times my nightmares do find me, they are not always about Bozja, or conscription, or racing through a battlefield, hoping i am fast enough to make it. ...Sometimes now, they are about worse things. But opening my eyes to find her close to me is always, always worth it. But surely, no sane person could leave a life in conscription behind and not have nightmares to follow...

Erjon Sjadarwesfv raised an eyebrow ever so slightly at the mentioning of 'nightmares', but did not comment on it. "Sounds like you've made up your mind. Well then, guess you just needed some pep talk, hm?" Having finished most of the food, Erjon looked rather content to mainly keep drinking from his bottle, which most likely contained beer. "I'm not complaining at the idea to give pep talk in exchange for food."

Eir Fellfrost: "…Something like that. Though…" Eir slowly pulls himself to his feet, then; leaning down to retrieve the papers, and set them where they belonged before he'd arrived. "I should be getting back to her." A small pause, as he turned to depart, but does not yet take a step. "…For what it is worth… I would have brought you food even had you not wanted company."

...I meant it. Even if he told me to leave it outside, i feel like... ...Not that i owe him. Not exactly. But that i am thankful for his... Insight. His honesty. And i never thought i would say it, but his company, too.

Erjon Sjadarwesfv let out an amused huff, the corner of his lip crooking upward. "That's a certain way to force entry and get away with it, at least. Give my regards to missus Snowball."

Eir Fellfrost: "If i wanted to kick your door down to talk to you that badly, i could. We both know that." A curl of a smirk is offered, before it softens to something a little more sincere. "…I will. And… Thank you. For listening."

Erjon Sjadarwesfv: "Ah yes, no need to remind me of your thigh strength. I've gotten a close enough examination of that." He lifted his bottle slightly towards Eir as if giving a toast. "Anytime, Angreir. I have long ears, better make good use of them."

Eir Fellfrost: "…I will endeavor not to talk them off, then." A small, fleeting smile is given, as Eir moves towards the door. "Be well. I will bring you something else to eat, sometime."

...I felt... Better, for talking. Like everything weighed a little less heavy. I am... Glad, we ended up in the same place, after everything.

[blackleopardgirl]

   I know it might sound terrible, but that Klej guy whatever on Tik Tok, Twitter, and Instagram? He NEEDS to hear that he won’t be accepted into their families. BM need to stop believing that everyone will be ok with them? I know he’s from Detroit so now his obsession with these people makes more sense. If he was living in LA his obsession would probably be Mexican Americans. He needs to read that fathers, brothers, uncles, grandfathers, and people alike will NOT accept or support the union and marriage that he has with SPECIFICALLY a woman from their community. They might be cool with you being their friend, and you might get invited to their parties as a token, but they’re just as racist as any other group that doesn’t like BP, which is basically everyone but BP. HE can dance, sing, and wear whatever the hell he wants to, to make them think that he’s one of them but he’s not. And deep down inside everyone who watches him online knows it too. Why do bandits want to be a part of another culture that doesn’t want them? And notice he has dark skin and African features. It’s always them. They want to erase their blackness by going into other communities and being “accepted” by the men and women there, but they never will! It’s a fool's game to think that they’d accept you too. They want to have the history, legacy, traditions, and women’s traditions, that they have and it’s just not happening. I would truly caution against trying to date and marry one of their women, it won’t end well. Notice how he’s never told anyone he’s dated one of their women? Because it won’t happen. 

If I’ve learned one thing from seeing Loredana, watching Lily’s interview, and Erjon’s relationships, it’s that: Bandits aren’t welcomed into their community. They will tolerate BW in their community because they view women are just 2nd class citizens anyways. They even view it as a sign of pride that women from other ethnicities, cultures and races want to date and marry their sons. They may not be the happiest about the marriage, but they like it, especially the other men in their countries/culture. they view it as a win because they know they’re being desired by other women, and to be fair, Alb@nian men aren’t really desired by other groups of people. You only ever hear about their women, never their men, so it would make them feel good to hear that a woman who wasn’t from their lands wanted them. 

 As long as you’re a pretty, polite, kind, open minded BW you will fit in just fine, but bandits? NEVER! They view it as a threat to their community and to the men of their community. 

They will support black sports players, singers and rappers, they’ll dance, sing with you, and they especially will love it if you do their traditional dances, and hand signals with them. you’ll probably even get invited to their weddings if you’re close enough with one of them, but to actually be MARRIED in to their family as a bandit? Hell. No. 

Never in a million years will they accept that. Also if a bandit marries one of their daughters then her last name, history, and legacy, are now all washed away in their eyes. They take the ancestry of their people seriously and don’t want her to walk around with a bandit’s last name. They want an Alb@nian last name, NOT a bandit’s.

[neoma-eltanin]

Prompt #15: Row

For FFXIVWrite2022 Character: Erjon Sjadarwesfv Warnings: War aftermath

Dalmasca had fallen. It was a devastating sight; much of the once glorious desert jewel had been reduced to rubble. Prisoners of war were lined up in rows, either to be forced into slavery… or worse. A few lucky ones might find recruitment one day. The children would be brought up with Garlean culture. The elders… were executed.

Erjon stood guard and watched the row slowly move, gun resting in his hands. It had been a brutal conquest, with many losses of lives on both sides. But it was the Dalmascans who suffered. Erjon had never seen so much death. He had survived his first war, yet he knew this was just the beginning. The troops would keep moving East, and Erjon would go where he was told. Not that he had much of a choice.

He quickly learned to keep his emotions shut and hidden. It made it easier that way. He couldn’t remember how many people’s lives he had ended during the bloody battles. It was both a comfort, and a discomfort. Lives were so easy to end. Too easy.

More than anything, he worried about Wynne, one of his closer friends here in the hellhole that was the Garlean army. She was too kind, too caring. This brutality was too much for her. He had seen it, seen that vacant horror in her eyes once the dust had settled, and nothing but dead bodies remained to be seen of the city.

He looked around to see if she was nearby. No sign of her. For some reason, he had a knot in his stomach. Something didn’t feel right.

As soon as he was relieved of duty, he had to find her.

[umbralsound-xiv]

“...What a busy sun! For... Mostly good reasons? Good-ish reasons. I fought a bunch of powerful monsters! With everyone else, too! I was like a real contract, even if i didn’t mean for it to be that way!

...I was just coming home from the Shroud after a little work, and saw a bunch of... Weird looking beasts that were acting all funny. They killed almost all the boars in the area, and looked like they were coming closer towards one of the settlements... I couldn’t just let them, but there was no way i could have taken them on my own, so i called for help!

And... People came! So many people! Olly, and Mikhi, and Phei! Morgane! Some Xaela twins that i’d never met before, called Baruun and Zyyn, along with another who used water named Khasar! Even Mhei came to join us!

...It was... Kinda scary, but kinda thrilling, too! People did all kinds of cool stuff, and i helped Olly take down a morbol! We managed to get back without too much trouble, even if some people were a little injured. But it felt... It felt like being a proper mercenary, a real adventurer, even for a little!

I learned Mhei joined the company, too, which was exciting!

After we’d all pulled ourself up enough to walk, we went back to the company house. Maggie had cooked us some really nice stew and baked bread to go with it, and i was pretty hungry so i went to get some of that! Some of the others came down with Mhei, too! Khasar repaired Morgane’s shoe, and i asked him a bunch of questions about the things he’d fought and the places he’d been, along with a Viera man called Erjon who said he was almost eighty cycles old!

...That’s so old! At least, for us. I wonder what it’s like to be Eighty? I wonder if i’ll ever live that long...?

Some people left to rest up, and i was just finishing my food when Sayuri came downstairs! I didn’t really get a lot of time to chat with her, and... I... Didn’t really get chance this time, either.

...She and Erjon spoke. And... I don’t know. I don’t know if she’s always cold, but she seemed in a bad mood from the get go, which only got worse as they talked. Apparently... Erjon upset someone close to her? And it just... Got worse from there. Her glass of water froze, and Olly and Maggie came down the stairs and she was scared, and we went into the kitchen to kind of... Avoid what was happening, but it was just...

...She’s really scary when she’s mad.

She did throw the glass, but not at Erjon. It shattered on the stage, and... When i was sure Maggie was alright, i went to help her.

...I don’t know what happened. But people don’t react like that for no reason at all. And she seemed upset, so... I helped her pick up the glass, and talk. I thought it might be nice to tell her the other people like her, too! I know there’s someone else in the company with ice, and Mhei, and... Vex, who i met the other sun! I was in the middle of talking to her, trying to keep her mind away from whatever happened, but she just... Bolted and left without a word...

...I didn’t mean to upset her...!

...I don’t know what i did wrong...

The others reassured me, and told me it was okay, and Olly made me hot chocolate. And... They’re probably right, it might not be my fault, but... I’m still a little worried.

I’ll be sure to apologise, next i see her.”