#Greed is wanting more and more while this idea of gluttony is just wasting shit

[randomtheidiot]

I don’t know about the rest of the seven deadly sins, but I want a portrayal of gluttony as genuinely overindulgent and wasteful instead of just some caricature of a fat guy with a binge eating disorder. I want gluttony to splurge on expensive products, only to throw them away when they stop being trendy. I want gluttony to say cutesy little misogynistic sayings like “girl math” and “women be shopping” when she blows all her money on expensive clothes that she only wears once and fancy foods that she only takes one bite of. I want gluttony to have something distinctly insidious and capitalist about her instead of punching down.

[amor-immortalem]

Can I Stay Up Here With You Forever Ch.2

Warning: abuse apologizing, mention of past physical abuse, implied manipulation, abuse minimizing

Taglist: @mediocredetective

Previous

“Here you go Solomon,” Asmo says as they pass the phone to the sorcerer. “Arella says she wants to ask you something. I’ll be back.” And with that the Avatar of Lust took his leave, leaving their older brother with a look of confusion as Solomon moved away from where he literally had the second-born tied down so he couldn’t move. He turned his lapis gaze over to his younger brother who merely shrugged as he went back to chowing down on a bag of crisps he had raided from Purgatory Hall’s pantry.

“Don’t ask me, I don’t know anything,” Beel said with a mouthful of crisps. “I’m going to head home too though. Dinner’s starting soon. Do you want me to try to save you some? It’s Lucifer’s night to cook.”

“Nah... it’ll just go to waste. Lucifer’s still probably mad at me so I doubt he’ll let me inta the house for the rest of the night.” The Avatar of Greed chuckles sadly. “So don’t worry. I’ll see ya tomorrow!”

The Avatar of Gluttony nodded as he left and Mammon impatiently waited for Solomon to come back.

“I’d offer you something to eat or drink but it looks like you’re... a little tied up at the moment.” Simeon tried to break the tension in the room with the unhappy demon.

“Why did ya have ta go ‘n call Arella like that, huh, Simeon?” Mammon asks, eyebrows knit together in frustration. “I told y’all I was fine, my arm was just a bit busted was all. I woulda survived without her knowin’ ‘n now she’s gonna go off the deep end thinkin’ I need ta be saved or some shit like that when I can take care of myself.”

“She loves you, Mammon. All she wants is for you to be happy and safe. You know that.”

“All of ya are makin’ it sound like Lucifer just straight up broke my elbow for shits ‘n giggles when it was an accident. I’m the one who didn’t wait for him ta let go a me before I started pullin’ ta get away, so really it’s my own fault that it’s broken.”

“Yeah, but things like this seem to happen between you and Lucifer a lot- and I mean a lot a lot.”

“Yeah but... he loves me though. He only does things like this because he loves me. I’m his favorite and he just wants me to learn my lesson is all. If I wouldn’t screw up all the time this wouldn’t happen as often- o-or at all even. ‘Sides it ain’t like I’m the only one who ever gets punished. The rest of my brothers all get their punishments too when they screw up. It’s all fair.”

Simeon gave the demon a doubtful look. “You seem to be the only one who gets any physical punishment though...”

“Yeah, but that’s only cuz I’m a blockhead who just doesn’t learn his lesson. I mean the physical stuff only started within the last century- that's when my dear ol’ brother got fed up with wastin’ his breath. You’d think I’d learn by now huh?”

The angel tries to find the words to say what he’s thinking but he can’t, so he just goes about it in a different approach. No wonder Arella worries about him like this. His brother has him completely manipulated into thinking this is acceptable.

“You... you can’t seriously think that, right?” Simeon asks incredulously. “Mammon, this isn’t okay. Regardless of whether your brother actually loves you or not,

“He does,” Mammon interjects.

“He shouldn’t constantly be putting his hands on you for even the slightest of transgressions- especially if it’s due to something you can’t help, like your sin.”

“Of course, it is. C’mon, Simeon, who’re ya kidding? We’re demons! Our morals are different from those of the Celestial Realm or the Human Realm.... That’s just the way things are down here. Do ya gotta like it? No, but y’all gotta accept it.”

“Don’t you think you sound a little... how do I put this... brainwashed?”

“Whaddya mean?”

“Well... I just think maybe you’re so blinded by your love for your brothers that-”

“Hi! I’m back!” Asmo called as they lugged a heavy suitcase behind them. They plopped down on the couch. “Miss me?”

The pair just sort of regarded the strawberry blonde-haired demon as they sat next to their older brother.

“Goin’ somewhere, Asmo?” Mammon asks as he eyes the suitcase, “Wait a minute is that my suitcase?”

“Hm? Oh no, I’m not going anywhere. You are.”

“Huh? I’m not going anywh-”

“Well it was nice talking to you, Arella. I’ll untie him now so you can summon him. We’ll talk in a few weeks, yes?” Solomon promptly reentered the space, “Perfect- oh look Asmo’s back too. I’ll let you go then.” The call ended as Solomon undid the spell binding Mammon to the couch with a wave of his hand.

As Mammon stood, a portal opened up in front of him. “I’m not goin’ through that.”

“And why not?” the angel asks. “I thought you’d be delighted to have the opportunity to go stay with your human for two weeks.”

“Alone. Might I add.” Asmo smirks with a waggle of their brows.

“Shut up, Asmo!” The Avatar of Greed turned a shade of bright red, “Of course, I know we’d be alone! Who else would be there? But....”

“Are you scared Lucifer will be upset that you’re up there without his permission, Mammon?” Simeon asks.

“No! I ain’t scared of Lucifer! What gave you that idea, huh?!”

“You do realize you’re being summoned right? You don’t get much of a choice in that matter. Now, get going before you end up getting pulled through and hurt your arm again.” The sorcerer takes Mammon’s suitcase and tosses it through the portal, leaving the demon to squawk indignantly as he chased after it.

“You suck, Solomon!” Is all that could be heard from the other side of the portal as it started to close and the silver-haired human only rolled his eyes, chuckling amusedly.

“Have fun in the mortal realm, Mammon!”

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The one thing Mammon hates about being summoned is how nearly every time he goes through a portal, he nearly slams into whoever it is that summoned him if they’re standing in his way which is exactly the situation he finds himself in with Arella right now- not a good look for his image, it's very ‘uncool’.

“Hey,” Arella smiles as she wraps her arms around him once they come to a stop.

“Don’t ‘hey’ me. I’m mad at ya.” The demon says with a deep scowl on his face.

“I’m sure you are. How’s your arm feeling? Does it still hurt?”

“I’m fine, Arella. Stop treating me like a kid.”

“Huh?” Arella asks, confused as she removes her arm from around him. “I’m... sorry?”

“Ya should be,” Mammon hums as he turns his back to her. “I told ya everything was fine. Ya didn’t hafta go ‘n do all this. I can take care of myself when it comes to my brothers so I don’t get why you think ya gotta get involved every time I get in a situation with one of ‘em.”

“I just thought... well I guess it doesn’t matter. You’re right.” She walked away headed to where the kitchen was to clean up the mess that had been left from the cup of tea she’d had before all of this.

“Huh? Whaddya mean by that?” The demon followed after her looking to continue their small spat.

“Exactly what it sounds like. You’re right. You can take care of yourself when it comes to your brothers and there really is no need for me to insert myself into the situation but I love you and I hate seeing it happen and not doing anything to defend you so... I’m sorry. If it offends you that much, I won’t do it again.” She says as she washes her cup and the other dishes she had left. “Do you want me to send you home after dinner?”

“I.... no- but not because I don’t want to go back and deal with Lucifer...” The white-haired demon takes a seat at the kitchen island resting his chin on his arms. “I only wanna stay cuz I missed ya...”

“I missed you too...” She rubbed his back as she leaned down to place a kiss on the top of his head. “I’m sorry you feel like I’m treating you like a kid... if you want to stay the whole time you can treat it... like a holiday of sorts.”

“Where are we anyway? I know ya said ya were sellin’ yer old house...but the air smells different. How far away did ya move? Are we still in England?”

“About that...” She looked away sheepishly, “I kind of told you a little white lie... I sold that house about a month or two ago. What I’ve been doing since then is house-hunting and all the things that go with buying a house in another country... We’re in Germany- Berlin, exactly.”

“You lied? Oh, you’re horrible.” The demon feigns a look of hurt as the human laughs. “But seriously, baby, why would ya move so far away?”

She shrugged. “Wanted a change. I can speak German so why not- it's not like I have any family to miss back in England, anyway.”

He nods at that. “So no one knows where we are?”

“Nope,”

“Not even my brothers?”

“Not even your brothers.” She smiled. “I told you: if we wanted to, we could disappear up here and no one would ever know.” She cupped his face in between her hands. “You don’t have to go back home if you don’t want to...”

“I don’t have to decide right now, do I? You won’t leave if I want to go home, right?”

“No, of course not. I wouldn’t ask you to choose between me or the Devildom- there's a lot to give up down there. You can think about it while we’re up here for the next two or three weeks and if you want to go home after then, then I will still be with you, okay? I just want to give you options.”

He nodded as he moved to wrap his arms around her in a tight hug. “Thanks, Doll.”

“Anytime, Baby.” She hummed.

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Next

Find more on my masterlist

[thinkyoureholy]

Soul Eater [3]

[A/N : the beginning just gives y’all better insight on the shit she has to deal with as a demon and by shit I mean Lucifer, fuck that bitch]

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Pairing : Jung Yunho / [fem] Reader

Genre : Angst, Violence, Language, Fluff, Smut, Character Death?, Demon! AU

Words : 3.2k

Pt 1. Pt 2. Pt 3. Pt 4. Pt 5. Pt 6. Pt 7. Pt 8. Pt 9.

≫ ──── ≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫ ──── ≪

-Y/N’s P.O.V-

I walked through the dark corridors, scowling at the black cloaks we were forced to wear. Why the hell was I even here? All he does is mock me and dismiss all the things I’ve ever said to him so why-

“Y/N? Whoa I haven’t seen you in half a millennia.” He whistled, scanning my body from head to toe, “What brings you down here?”

“The same reason you’re here.” I answered almost robotically, walking passed him without another word but he was persistent.

“Oooh so even someone of your caliber shows up to these kinds of things? I’m impressed. So does that mean you care about our lord as much-”

I cut him off, reaching out to grab at his throat faster than he could react, my claws digging into his flesh, “He is not my lord. I serve no one. I just don’t want him to send his little minions after me like he did three hundred years ago. I’d rather not have to deal with his pesky little rats again."

He smirked, raising his hand in mock surrender, "Easy there, I meant no harm."

"Just stay out of my way from now on if you don't want to end up like the others. You'll do well to heed my warning." I threatened, my hold on him tightening.

He didn't say a word but as the seconds ticked by I just squeezed tighter. I was impressed that he could withstand it for so long but even he seemed to be struggling after another minute or so. By this point the veins of my arms were protruding, his blood coating my hand as it seeped out of his neck. He grit his teeth as he wrapped his hands around my wrist, digging his own claws into my skin but all that did was irritate me. I scoffed before extending my wings out in a menacing fashion, watching his black eyes go wide with fear.

"Don't think you can mess with me like you do everyone else. I'm not one to be taken lightly, Ceri. Don't play games with me or you'll regret it." 

With that I let him go, watching him hit the ground with a thud. As soon as my claws were out the holes on the side of his neck closed up. I gave him one last look before hiding my wings under my cloak once more, continuing my walk down the corridor. That little runt just wasted my time, he didn't even put up much of a fight, I should’ve known the bastard was all talk to begin with. I scoffed at the thought, pathetic.

……

I stood off to the side, keeping my mouth shut as the others spoke with one another. I just wanted this to be over but I was curious as to why we had been called. We don’t normally get called down here, at least not us higher level demons. 

“Any idea why we were summoned?”

The voice snapped me out of my thoughts, drawing my attention away from the crowd, “No. And before I forget, stay away from Yunho from now on. You don’t know how surprised I was to find out you were a friend of his.”

“Really? Well you sure fooled me. I was beginning to think you had forgotten all about me.” He replied sarcastically. 

I rolled my eyes, “I don’t know what you're planning but you actually convinced that idiot to summon a demon and make a deal. As stupid as he is his soul is still mine so stay away.”

Mingi smirked, shoving his hands in his pockets, his eyes flashing for a moment before settling back to their normal black, “Damn...and I was hoping the sucker would summon me instead, to bad I was busy when he did. You’re lucky you live so nearby…”

He was smirking the whole time, masking his true feelings so well I didn’t catch on to the fact he was putting on an act.

“Lucky? More like cursed. I mean what kind of idiot sells their souls for something as stupid as having a significant other? Couldn’t the idiot just go out and try dating a few people first before he summons a demon? I mean there’s even dating apps now for crying out loud.”

Mingi snickered, leaning back against the wall behind him, a permanent grin on his face, “Humans...they’re desperate creatures...and vulnerable as well. I sometimes feel sorry for them.”

“You? In all the time I’ve known you you’ve never felt sorry for another living being, not even yourself.” I scoffed, crossing my arms over my chest.

His grin spread at my words, I almost began to worry that his face would split right in half from how big he was smiling. But at the same time the sadistic fucker might enjoy the feeling of his face splitting apart. He chuckled low in his throat but said no more, turning his attention back to the others that were in the room with us.

There were about one hundred of us in here but he wasn’t here yet, I could even feel the presence of the deadly sins but not his. Actually now that I think about it...I could only feel the presence of six deadly sins...where’s the seventh? My eyes searched the room, locating each sin, counting them off as I saw them; Gluttony, Lust, Greed, Pride, Sloth...and Envy. Where the hell was Wrath? I nudged Mingi’s foot with my own, grabbing his attention.

“Hey...have you noticed yet?”

“Noticed what?” He asked, his tone of voice bored as his eyes continued to scan the area.

“Look for all the sins, tell me what you see.” 

He did as I said, his eyes jumping from sin to sin until he got to the last one. I watched as the gears in his head finally started moving, his eyes going wide.

“Wrath is missing.” He concluded, pushing himself off the wall to stand properly, “Where the hell is he? None of them have ever missed a summoning.”

“My guess is-”

I was cut off by a loud thud coming from the middle of the room. The room fell silent, the demons towards the middle took trembling steps back until everyone lined the walls, all but the sins that were here. I looked to where the thud came from and finally understood why everyone but the sins seemed surprised by the sight. It was Wrath, his body lay bloody on the floor. My hands began to tremble at the sight of his decapitated body, my breathing heavier than it was just moments before. There’s only one person that could do this to him and he wasn’t even a person to begin with. My eyes slowly left Wrath’s body, trailing up the body of the one who did this to him, Lucifer. His eyes met mine, a sinister smile on his face. He held my gaze, bringing his hand up so I had a clear view of what he had in his hand, Wrath’s decapitated head. With a chuckle he closed his hand into a fist, pulverizing Wrath’s head, blood dripping down his arm.

“I’m glad all of you were able to make it.” He spoke, his voice sending a chill down my spine.

At the sound of his voice every single demon in the room fell to one knee, bowing their heads, all but me. Mingi noticed that I had stayed standing, nudging me with his elbow but I didn’t budge. In the one thousand and nineteen years of my life as a demon I had never bent the knee to Lucifer, and I wasn’t going to start now. No matter how afraid I was, no matter what he threatened to do to me, I refused to bow to him. 

“I see you’re still as defiant as ever, Y/N.” He said, a chuckle falling from his lips.

Pride stepped forward, bloodlust clear in her eyes. I turned to her, ready to fight if that’s what she wanted but before she could take another step, Lucifer stopped her, placing a hand on her shoulder. She glared at me with her violet eyes but didn’t move to come any closer.

“Why were we called?” I asked aloud, voicing the question all of us had as I looked back over at Lucifer.

He smirked, patting Pride’s shoulder before he took a step towards me, “The position of Wrath is now open, you all are the strongest of my children...so it’s only natural I choose who becomes the next Wrath from you lot.”

I set my jaw at his words. So this is why he called us here? I scoffed, turning my back on him as I began to walk out of the room.

“I’m not interested in becoming one of your dogs.”

As soon as I said that Pride appeared before me and had my throat in her hold before I even had the chance to blink, “Being a member of the seven deadly sins is the greatest honor our Lord could bestow upon us. How dare you be so disrespectful?”

I bared my teeth, bringing my hands up to grab at her wrist before giving it a twist, hearing the bone snap. I watched with disgust as she let out a yelp of pain, clutching her broken arm to her chest.

“Touch me again and the next thing I break will be your neck,” I growled out, shaking the feeling of her off my hands, “If I say I’m not interested I’m not fucking interested. Your Lord is not my Lord, I have no such thing.”

“Why you insolent little-”

She lunged at me but she couldn’t even get her hands on me, I made my move, moving  faster than her eyes could register. She crumbled to the ground, crying out in agony, clutching at her left shoulder. I stood over her, a bored look on my face. With a scoff I threw her severed arm back at her. I yanked the stupid cloak off my shoulders and wiped my hands clean of her blood, staring over at Lucifer who had been watching with a bemused smile.

“I’ll be leaving now. Next time you summon me make sure it’s for something worth my while.” 

His grin spread, a gleam in his eyes as a hearty laugh fell from his lips, “Of course, of course. Forgive me for calling you for a matter as trivial as this one.”

I knew he was mocking me, I could tell from a mile away but even so he didn’t move to stop me. I cast one final glance at Mingi who was staring at me wide eyed before I finally left.

-

-Yunho’s P.O.V-

I stood outside her door, too nervous to knock. She said to call her when I needed her to play the part but she never left her number with me so I had no choice but to come up here in person. The guys wanted to get together again and I said I’d go and let it slip that I had met someone without thinking. They had hung up before I could take it back so now I had no choice but to bring her along.

“Ah...why did I make this stupid deal in the first place?” I mumbled to myself, nervously combing my fingers through my hair.

I brought a trembling fist up to her door, ready to knock when the door suddenly swung open. I jumped back at the sight of her pitch black eyes. Her eyes bore into mine before she blinked, the black leaving as her natural eye color returned. Or were her black eyes her natural eyes since she's a demon and all? I shook my head, shoving that thought aside.

"H-Hey." I stuttered, waving to her but I didn't get a wave back.

She just stared at me, not uttering a single word. I stumbled over my own words, trying to figure out what to say without sounding like an idiot. Why the hell am I even so nervous? Just as that question popped into my head I made the mistake of glancing down at her lips. I looked away almost immediately, a blush rushing up my neck and face as I was reminded of the kiss we shared days prior. My lips still burned every time I thought about it...and I couldn't help but want another but I knew she'd wring my neck if I so much as asked.

"You--You said to call you whenever I...uh...whenever I needed you to play the part of my girlfriend. Well...tonight is one of those nights where I need you."

Again she said nothing, continuing to stare at me. I thought that's all she was going to do until she nodded her head before closing the door in my face. I frowned at the sound of the door slamming shut. I stood there flabbergasted, unsure if I should knock again or just leave. Just as I was thinking I should probably leave she opened the door once more, stepping out this time. She had simply gone to put on a sweater. She stuffed her hands into her pockets before looking at me expectantly.

"Oh--Oh right. Come on. We usually like to hang out at the bar a few blocks down." 

Again, for the third time, she said nothing. She only turned on her heel and headed for the elevator. I couldn’t help but scoff at her behavior. If she was going to play the part of my girlfriend the least she could do is at least act like she’s happy.

“You know, would it kill you to smile every once in awhile.” I muttered, joining her in the elevator.

And once more, like she suddenly lost the ability to talk she stayed silent, staring ahead at the closed elevator doors. I sighed in exasperation, rubbing my hands over my face, giving her a once over. When I did that I noticed a drop of something red on her cheek. Without thinking and before I could stop myself I reached out to her, swiping my thumb across her cheek, getting rid of the smudge. She looked at me wide eyed as I examined the red substance. If I didn’t know any better I’d think this was-

“Wait...this--this isn’t blood is it?” 

She stayed silent for a moment before she finally spoke, “It’s not human.”

Somehow that didn’t make it any better. Just as I went to ask what kind of blood it was she beat me to it.

“It belongs to another demon. But don’t worry she’s not dead...at least not yet. The bitch is lucky she’s his favorite or else I would’ve killed her already. She’s crossed the line one too many times.” She said in a low voice, a dark shadow hanging over her face, “I’m so sick and tired of them all…”

She muttered that last part to herself but due to the small space we were in I was able to hear her loud and clear. I said no more after that, getting the feeling if I continued to push the subject she’d snap at me. There was also something holding me back from asking about the subject further. The look she had in her eyes, not only was it one of anger there was a hint of anguish in her eyes. It was buried so deep I almost missed it but the moment I saw it my heart sank to the pit of my stomach. This was the same way I felt when I heard her voice thick with emotions the night I made the deal with her. She seemed so heartbroken when I had sold away my soul, I had never seen her so hopeless. In all my years of living I had never seen someone so unbelievably sad. I would assume that as a demon you lived without emotions and even though a month ago I wouldn’t have trouble believing Y/N was a demon because of the way she was but now, after experiencing what I did, now I could tell without a doubt Y/N had so much bottled up inside her. All those emotions she refuses to show, it would only be a matter of time until she couldn’t hold it in anymore. And when that time does come… I hope I can be there to ease her through it.

I snapped out of my thoughts when I felt her intertwine her fingers with mine. I looked down at our joint hands in surprise before looking over at her face. She didn’t even bother acknowledging my gaze, stepping closer to me. Okay, what the hell-

“We have to look the part don’t we?” She asked rhetorically, not even a hint of a smile on her face.

I just stared at her, my mouth hanging agape before I spoke without thinking, “Just what the hell have you been through?”

She stopped walking at that, bowing her head as she stared at the ground underneath her feet. I waited for her to speak, unconsciously giving her hand a comforting squeeze. But no matter how long I waited she kept her mouth shut.

……

 I watched in shock as she interacted with everyone. I couldn’t help but let my jaw hang open as I took in the sight of her smile, it was blinding. And the sound of her laugh? God, I swore my heart stopped and restarted multiple times in the span of five minutes.

“You might want to close your mouth there, Yun, you’ll catch flies.” Mingi chided with a smirk, closing my mouth himself.

I slapped his hand away from me, finally tearing my eyes away from Y/N, “It’s like she’s a totally different person. You know this is the first time I’ve seen her smile much less heard her laugh. I’ve never seen her this happy before.”

Mingi said nothing for awhile, his gaze on Y/N the whole time until a frown took purchase on his face, “She doesn’t look happy to me, dude.”

I rose a brow at his words, confused, “What do you mean? Look at that smile if she’s not happy then-”

“People hide a lot behind a smile, Yunho. And I’m telling you now, Y/N is anything but happy,” He cut me off before mumbling under his breath, “She hasn’t been happy for a long, long time.”

I opened my mouth to press him about what he meant when Wooyoung clapped a hand on my shoulder, drawing my attention.

“Yunho! Where the hell have you been hiding this gem?!” He exclaimed, gesturing over to Y/N who grinned wider at his words.

I didn’t answer as I just stared at her smiling face. I ignored the way my heart skipped a beat at the sight of it, frowning in response, thinking back to what Mingi had just said. Was that smiling face of hers really just a mask?

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I leaned back against the couch, staring up at the ceiling. I had proposed that the two of us start getting together, alone. Of course she didn't see the point in it since this was all just for show but I managed to convince her. I had no explanation as to why I wanted to know more about her and get to know her better. A little voice inside my head reminded me that I've been curious about her since day one, the day I first moved in. Sure that curiosity died out, or so I thought. 

The moment I saw her smile back at the bar a few weeks ago that curiosity came back full force. I wanted to know everything about her...whether she'll actually let me in or not is entirely up to her.

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Tags: @chanyeolol​

[cfsinners]

C H A R A C T E R     S T U D Y     ⇁     ( 1 / 2 )

I. 

   Your mother was a troublemaker, always was. Sleeping with the gardener? How about while married to the mayor? William Seward III’s campaign should have been ashes then and there. Your mother might have been sinful, but him? He was a monster. How he treated his wife? His son? You were lucky you got out of there intact. There was half a chance that he’d find out she was pregnant, with the gardener’s child no less. Did she love him? You don’t know. You should have asked her. But she wouldn’t shut the fuck up about the son she’d left. She loved him, you knew that. Funny that it was never enough to go back to Wheeler, to fight for custody too. Guess she loved you more, and you never expected anything less. 

   Brat wasn’t the right word for it. You were something else. You had the terrible twos for thirteen and a half years, if not longer. Always grappling for more, even as it tested the barriers of your father’s paychecks. You bled your parents dry emotionally and economically. If there was a day without chocolate, it would be the sobbing that got to them. If it was a day without tantrums, then the paycheck was nearly gone. They loved you too much to say no. But it wasn’t really love, it was weakness, lethargy, laziness. Your mother lived off of her parents’ loans, though she wasn’t ever obliged to pay them back. And she lacked a backbone to make up for the stiff one of the man she had left. She never put her foot down, because it was too much work. So whose fault was it that the money was gone in half a week? Yours? Hers?

&&. GLUTTONY    The lights of the master bedroom twinkling faintly in the distance, the quiet whining of a younger sibling, cookies snuck into bed at night. An eminent need in the distant horizon. Tears shed with a strong voice, a broken heart, and wondering when you can get those earrings you can’t live without as your sibling goes to bed with a rumbling stomach. Always starving for more, never satisfied. Fingers wrapping around the dwindling supply of food and money. An elementary schooler with an unhealthy hunger all the way to an adult with an insatiable for power and money. &&. WRATH    Screams of bloody murder, phone calls from the neighbors, the begging of your dad to not scream over spilt milk. A short, murderous temper with a stint of fabled apologies after. Your turn with the toy, your turn with mommy, always your turn and never anyone else’s if they knew what was good for them. Vivacious insults, and premature curses rattled off a tongue that barely knew what they meant. Fuck, shit, whore, bitch. A ventilation of feelings that barely held up, even as a grown-up. &&. ENVY    People always had more. More space, more attention, more love. All waiting to be torn out of their hands, but never able. Two siblings, mother, father, the Chicago apartment and little space, little attention, little love. Everyone somehow had more. More pretty, more popular, more kind. How much more did your half-brother have? How much did he truly suffer? How much did anyone? If you could only grapple it from them, wrestle it from their unthankful, grimy, little fingers. 

II. 

   Lip-gloss, hair curlers, platform shoes. Ringlets of dark hair shoved behind ears, the smell of cherries, the soft hum of Don’t Speak by No Doubt. Your name wasn’t so much Charity as it was Lucy. Worry etched across your mom’s face because you were just like her. Though she could hope you would calm after the move into the new house. 

   In fact, everything was worse after you settled an hour or so away from Chicago’s epicenter. It was all very intentional, your lack of communication and sparse time at home. Time to yourself, days spent at the library behind shelves with people you didn’t know the names of. All you knew were the names of the poets and writers covering your sin, despite having no idea what they’d written. You never bothered to read a book seriously before. Not before now, in the avoidance of church, family, and future. They weren’t a portal into another world, they were a distraction. A welcome one in the hands of a poor girl in a strange place. 

&&. LUST    Boys lining up to ask you to the movies, sleepovers with girls you barely know. Maybe not as pretty, or as pure. But whispered voices of things you could do in the dark. Homeschool did no harm. Lipstick stains and hickeys. Prayers interrupted, intertwined hands. Your teenage years were spent in the back of boys’ cars, taking risks at every bend. You remember laughing at those overzealous church girls and the prayers they’d utter under their breath between the meeting of lips. &&. SLOTH    Five family members, but four church attendees. Swim and debate getting in the way until doubt grew too. Excuses popping up, especially after your family moved to leave home in the dust. So five family members, four ass-kissers. How many times did your Catholic family butt heads with everyone else? Too many variations of God to believe in one. Or to believe in any. Prayers died on your lips that summer. 

III.

   You weren’t ever successful. Years spent trying to prove that you were worth more than the price tag pinned to you were flushed down the toilet by stupid, teenage decisions. If you had tried more, paid better attention, and maybe given a shit, grades would have been better. Though it would never change the money situation, or the debt. Maybe you could not achieve Yale because of youthful decisions poisoning the drinking well, but you could do what you wanted anyway. 

   Law school was a world away, graduation a few years in the past. All you had was the books. Dusty and smelly. In truth, you never liked them, but they were your comfort. They taught you better than any teacher, and nursed you better than any parent. In doubt, they would elevate you to success, so you could respect them. Selling them would provide no riches, but studying them could help. You whittled away years behind a bookshelf, many of them not even spent reading before now. 

IV.

   No top-notch law school would take you, a repentant, poor beggar. Mid-twenties wasted away behind books. But Notre Dame was enough. You remember filling out the forms when applying. Questions pertaining to children, to partners. Money being clicked away with each truthful answer. Broke wasn’t the word for what you’d be after college. There wasn’t a word for it. 

   In the end, you were aware of your mastery. The classes you took? Nothing you didn’t already know from quiet days of avoidance, or restless nights. You knew everything. What the fuck was in a degree? A title? A scam? People refused to afford you the light of day, because they didn’t know any better. They didn’t care about how much you struggled, how much you spent. There was no understanding or apologies for what was about to come. The avalanche would bury you, and even you would struggle to recover. 

&&. GREED    Your climb towards the heavens was not without clawing and scarring. People left bleeding on the ground after left under your mercy. At first it hadn’t ever been about the money, until it was. Everything was about money. You slaved to finish what you had at first wanted, but now something else was ending what you started. Greed climbing up your sickly throat, turning you green in the middle of the night before an exam. Those dollar bills would not escape you. &&. PRIDE    The death of faith made the soil rich. Minutes spent longer in the mirror, time spent more on yourself. Pride grew from the ashes of religion. Soft skin and trapped smiles, appreciation for yourself, and thoughts of grandeur. A nose turned up at siblings and parents alike. Living in squalor when you were bound for so much more. People would regret trying to squash you under their heels. You are nothing but God, dark skin and all. It’s time someone other than you realized it. 

V.

   Mother died not long after you showed yourself to the world again, a weight pulling you back away from the future. Father cried for weeks, or maybe even months. You had nothing to show for the years in college, or the years away from mother and father. Lucy had died with the name Wheeler on her lips, some memory she could not comprehend in the moment. Thirty years old, the week after you buried her. Then thirty-one, scrounging up what you could to care for father, but unable to handle any case that came your way with care enough or vigor enough for a victory. No one would hire you.

   Your father was baggage, so you left him, siblings flailing behind you, to return to your books. Money was escaping between your fingers every second. Debt knocking on your window when you slept. Panic was not what was seeping in. Though that was exactly what it was. With your hubris and memories, you shut down. Although you were smart enough to remember the name Wheeler, and the half-brother. He would have money, everything you didn’t have. Thirty-two, and a few days later, you move in. Some tiny apartment and position at Porter County Library. A job you like, but won’t pay the bills. You just have to wait for the right moment to claim what is yours.

   The tragedies are opportunities in your eyes. A little girl missing, so sad. A promise broken is more like it. In another life, you could have cared. If you were like your mother, you would have. Maybe you would have expressed true condolences, but your mother used her last breaths to express regret for a child she had abandoned and a town she had forgotten to bore you. Where was your name is those last few hours? Where was father’s?

[aros001]

First time read through light novel vol. 9. Random thoughts.

Oh, neat! I didn't know the Rem and Subaru AU was going to be in this book. I thought it was just a separate sidestory or something extra sold with special editions of the Blu-Rays like the Overlord sidestories. This is good because I was planning on reading it eventually anyway.

[Literally the page right before the interlude]

Well, f**k you too, story.

Sloth, because I cannot wipe away your tears.

Lust, because I want us to melt together and become one.

Gluttony, because I want to consume you, to take all of you for myself.

Greed, because I want to have everything that I love.

Wrath, because I cannot forgive the absurdity of it all.

Pride, because I scorn everything that is not you.

Jealousy, because that is all I feel for the world that embraces you.

Now I'm kind of wondering if Return By Death's purpose is to bring Subaru closer to Satella or if it's a way of keeping them apart. Satella later calls it her and Subaru's place when Petelgeuse dares intrude upon it, so I'd assume it's the former but always just when the two seem to be connecting Subaru is ripped back to the land of the living.

You know, it just occurred to me how passive aggressive sending a blank letter as a declaration of war is.

When Emilia thought about it, she hadn’t seen the girl a single time since returning to the mansion.

“Maybe Beatrice is angry I left Subaru behind...”

Subaru and Beatrice got along rather well, so maybe she was upset.

I have no idea if this is the case or not but it is kind of nice to imagine Beatrice is at least a little upset that Subaru is gone and is intentionally or unintentionally shunning Emilia over it. Not that she and Emilia hung out much to begin with, from what I understand. Outside of Puck, Subaru was the only one to ever actively hang out with her and try to get her to have fun.

“A strange presence in the forest...?”

“Yes. Unpleasant fellows against whom even my Clairvoyance is ineffective.”

There was some really nice set-up for this. It was established all the way back when we first learned about Ram's Clairvoyance ability that it works by letting her "see" through the senses of all the insects and animals within her range. And what did Subaru keep noting almost every time he encountered the Witch Cult? The silence. The lack of noise from any birds or bugs, because everything avoids the Witch Cult if they can. Ram's Clairvoyance can't see the Witch Cult because there's nothing around the cult to see them. That's just a really clever little bit of detail there.

They had already thoroughly examined every concern and misgiving Emilia might have. They persevered, slapping down one doubt after another, until Emilia had no room left to lodge any objections.

This should have been a good thing, but the current Emilia could not help but feel tortured by an overwhelming sense of powerlessness. They had prepared answers to any question she might have, thought through whatever worries she might have, and if she did as she was told, everything would be taken care of through the goodwill of others—

A nice little parallel between Emilia and Subaru, facing a somewhat similar problem of their own powerlessness and needing to rely on others.

It became a ritual. Every day, Emilia would accompany Subaru down to the village and do radio aerobics with the villagers. Emilia was always watching when Subaru gave his stamp of approval with the potato stamps he’d carved himself.

These everyday scenes were the tangible bonds Emilia had formed with the villagers.

I think one of the reasons I had trouble shipping Subaru and Emilia in the anime was because I didn't really see what she got from knowing him aside from him saving her life. Here, being able to see Emilia's thoughts and get a look back at their time together from her POV, it's a lot easier to see. It's like why I ship Subaru and Rem. It's not just that they've saved each other's lives but that they helped each other in very personal ways, and that's something Subaru was doing for Emilia. I can buy why she's upset that he's gone.

So the apparent reason the Witch Cult was after Emilia was to see if she could be a vessel for Satella to be reborn through, and that maybe the reason she died before in a previous loop wasn't just because Subaru had told her about RBD but because she had failed the trial of being a worthy vessel. It feels like a weird twist on the old actual witch trials, where they drowned those accused of being witches. If they lived, then they're a witch. If they died, then they were innocent. Emilia survives the trial she becomes a witch and if she dies then she doesn't. It does make me wonder what the conditions for passing the trial are. First guess would be they have something to do with Subaru. Satella has some kind of infatuation with him so maybe part of it is trying to have Subaru's love through Emilia and Emilia pushing Subaru away was part of why she "failed" the trials.

Even in the anime, I loved how Subaru bested Petelgeuse. It's a trope that's great when it's done well; defeating the bad guy by technically giving them what they wanted (kind of like in Aladdin). "You want to meet the witch so bad? You got it! And everything that goes with it!" Petelgeuse was defeated via being rejected by the girl he liked. And then he goes through a similar stage of denial like Subaru did in his first loop after Emilia dumped him, throwing himself into delusion and thinking he can win back her favor by...continuing to just keep doing what he already was. It's why I love the lines:

It wasn’t worth listening to a word from him. Petelgeuse was just a self- righteous creep indulging in unrequited love.

Wilhelm had said as much—that it was absurd to call this love.

I'm a big superhero fanboy and this is something that comes up a lot. A lot of the best kinds of villains are those that are a reflection of the hero.

Also, did anyone else get kind of a Judge Doom from Who Framed Roger Rabbit? vibe from Petelgeuse during certain parts of this book? An inhuman creature pretending to be a man, his face is not his real face, going crazy and then going on a rampage. "Holy smokes, he's a toon (spirit)!"

When I was reading through the Goblin Slayer light novels, one thing I praised the series for was that everything the story introduced later came back and was put to use. Very little was ever wasted or pointless. Subaru's final battle with Petelgeuse reminds me a lot of that, with Subaru putting to use so much that'd been established prior in the story and through his own experiences. Otto's oil. What happens when you go outside the land dragon's protection against the wind. The gospel and Petelgeuse's own obsession. Even his practice of falling properly during his sword practice with Wilhelm, which Wilhelm himself criticized, proved itself to have its worth, He uses everything at his disposal, everything that he's learned, to pull off a win.

There, where Subaru’s greatest desire was to reach out and offer Emilia his hand, she had turned her back on him. That had to have been a great betrayal.

While I believe Subaru was definitely more at fault for the split between them, I do like how Emilia apparently has been feeling just as guilty as he has been, blaming herself just as much as he blamed himself.

“----- ”

However, Emilia’s reaction was completely different from what Subaru had expected.

Don't you do it.

“Subaru.”

“Yes?”

No.

When Emilia called his name, Subaru looked straight her.

Emilia resolutely faced Subaru’s determined eyes head-on. However, her gaze also contained bewilderment, and Subaru couldn’t understand why.

NO.

"Who's Rem?"

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!

So, I was actually spoiled a bit before starting the LNs that Rem would be erased from everyone's memories again. I just didn't know when it would happen, or how, and I certainly didn't know it's was something that would have happened at the anime's end if it hadn't be cut out. Is it weird to say that I'm somewhat grateful it happened so soon so that I didn't have to keep anticipating it? If you're gonna punch me in the stomach, just do it and get it over with. Knowing it's coming and not knowing when is much worse. Of course, the story can't let me off that easy, and my exact reaction when the book cut back to Rem on the carriage was "Oh shit! Crusch is there with her!" Somehow I'd managed to avoid the spoiler that she gets attacked along with Rem and gets her memories erased. This series really feels no need to hold back, does it? Two characters it got me to really like and now they're both gone in one way or another. And it's even worse because I like Ferris here more than I did in the anime and now he's basically lost his friend and person he's sworn himself to. A direct comparison is made by Subaru that Ferris has basically lost his Emilia.

On the positive side, this line from Rem:

“Someday a hero shall appear—a hero to destroy you all. However self- serving you are, however much misfortune your self-satisfaction creates, that man, the only hero Rem loves, shall surely bring you what you deserve.”

You're damn right he will! No idea if he actually will but I need hope right now. And, of course, with Emilia by his side to get Rem back.

As I've made no secret, I ship Subaru and Rem, starting with the anime. But obviously I didn't want to go into the LNs with a bias against Emilia, especially since it's not like I disliked her in the anime. And this book especially gave me a lot about her character to get invested in. Her inner thoughts, her feelings of powerlessness and having to adjust to people trying to help her, self-hatred, and all the parallels and similarities between her and Subaru. It really makes Subaru confessing his feelings for her feel like a much more impactful scene. I feel the connection between them much more than I did in the anime and it really feels like something Emilia needed to hear, that she is loved. I really want to see where things go from here. Subaru and Emilia vs. the Witch Cult!

And it was a very good move of Subaru's to give Emilia time to digest his feelings for her and to let her eventually fall in love with him. It's the same as why I don't mind that Subaru didn't immediately return Rem's love when she confessed to him like other Subarem shippers do. Love takes time. Love takes work. I think it shows that Subaru's love for Emilia and Rem's love for him is genuine, that they don't want to just pressure the other into being with them. They want the other to be with them because they love them and they are willing to wait for that time. While the AU section of this book is from a timeline where Subaru and Rem ran away, I don't have trouble believing he did eventually truly fall in love with her after all they've been through and raising a family together. The problem with that timeline I feel would just be the regrets they'd have over leaving behind everyone else they cared about, thus why I think they made the right choice in the main timeline.

I haven't even talked about Beatrice crying for her mother after not even Subaru can help her leave the mansion or Wilhelm's wife maybe being part of the Witch Cult because of his old wound reopening. So much happened in this book!

Original Reddit post: https://www.reddit.com/r/Re_Zero/comments/gzrul3/novels_first_time_read_through_light_novel_vol_9/

[racingtoaredlight]

Random Thoughts On Led Zep

"Obviously, it can get to the point where it gets past being a compliment and it can be rather annoying. When you've got things like Kingdom Come actually ripping riffs right off, that's a different thing altogether."

-Jimmy Page

My reaction after the jump.

***

***

“[A]s far as my end of it goes, I always tried to bring something fresh to anything that I used. I always made sure to come up with some variation. In fact, I think in most cases, you would never know what the original source could be. Maybe not in every case– but in most cases. So most of the comparisons rest on the lyrics. And Robert was supposed to change the lyrics, and he didn’t always do that– which is what brought on most of the grief. They couldn’t get us on the guitar parts of the music, but they nailed us on the lyrics.”

-Jimmy Page, from a 1993 case brought on by the band Spirit for ripping off their song “Taurus” for Led Zep’s “Stairway to Heaven.”  Screenshots below are from that first video embedded above.  It’s pretty clearly the music that got Led Zep into the most legal trouble, and it’s pretty hard to suggest fresh variations on a blatant ripoff, while alternatively saying it was lyrics that got y’all in trouble, when in this case there weren’t any lyrics.

From the same 1993 court filing...

“Page’s attempt to shift blame from himself is not quite fair to Plant as Page repeatedly took entire musical compositions without attribution, in addition to Plant lifting the lyrics and melodies in tandem. This includes Zeppelin’s Dazed and Confused which Page took note for note from Jake Holmes’s Dazed and Confused; Zeppelin’s Whole Lotta Love which was taken from You Need Love by The Small Faces who were covering Willie Dixon (but giving proper credit); and Zeppelin’s Babe I’m Gonna Leave You of which a nearly identical song by the same name was written by Anne Bredon and sang by Joan Baez (again with proper credit given).

There is no way any rational reasonable person listens to these songs and can conclude anything but that they were lifted, as Page and Plant admitted. Yet, Page, Plant, and Jones often dishonestly took full credit for themselves and dissembled at length in their depositions on the subject, refusing to take responsibility.”

Jimmy Page complaining about someone ripping him off is like Martin Shkreli complaining about pharmaceutical prices.

"Obviously, it can get to the point where it gets past being a compliment and it can be rather annoying. When you've got things like Kingdom Come actually ripping riffs right off, that's a different thing altogether."

-Jimmy Page

Led Zep kicks ass no matter who they stole from.  Stealing in music, as I’ve discussed before, is not a bad thing in the slightest, as long as full credit is given.  Do you begrudge Jimi Hendrix for covering “All Along the Watchtower” or “Hey Joe” or “Day Tripper?”  FUCK NO.  Those are totally original takes on other people’s songs that he gave full credit to.

Do you have any idea how music has been stolen over the years?  I don’t have the resource able to be cited, but one of those stats that has always stuck with me from my musical history classes is that the entirety of pop music can be traced back to the same 35-40 melodic motifs that were first written down in the 1600′s.

“Stairway to Heaven?”  That blatant ripoff of Spirit?  It’s not that much of a ripoff when you consider that courts have ruled that the particular melody and harmonic progression is technically public domain, since it was first used in 17th century parlor music.

This might not sound like landmark shit, but it absolutely is.  Look at the stat I referenced above...

...the entirety of pop music can be traced back to the same 35-40 melodic motifs that were first written down in the 1600′s.

If we’re able to circumstantially trace music back to an origin point centuries ago, music that is now public domain, to the point where it’s legally upheld, these types of lawsuits might never happen again in regards to the actual music.  Lyrical content is another story entirely, but in terms of the nuts and bolts of the music itself...pop musicians are going to have a difficult time proving the originality of their music, if ripped off by others, for no other reason than everyone’s ripping off the same shit that’s been ripped off forever.

Jazz musicians laugh at this, because it’s almost impossible to plagiarize a music that’s improvised, and living and breathing to the point where standards can change their being on a night to night basis.  Awhile ago I posted five versions of “All the Things You Are” by Keith Jarrett, and each one was drastically different from the next, even tho the melody and chords were identical.  And, most importantly, in jazz...due to the canon being based tremendously on “standards,” i.e. songs composed by others as vehicles to improvise over...songwriting credit is always given to the proper source*.

*It helps that jazz is so unpopular that there’s no monetary incentive anymore to go to court over songwriting royalties lol

Rachmaninoff composed a piece that was a direct ripoff of Paganini’s main themes, but again, not an issue because it was titled “Ode to Paganini,” even if everyone recognizes it as a definitive Rachmaninoff piece.  I’m working on my vocals with the bandleader in my new band, and we’re doing Beatles harmonies (kindergarten music is a good place to start for a kindergarten singer like myself)...and they’re almost identical to 4-part Bach choral pieces in design and execution.

*Classical music is so beholden to the concept of protecting intellectual property, it hasn’t evolved for a century because you’re going to see BEETHOVEN or WAGNER or MOZART as much as you’re going to see whatever soloist or orchestra, despite its canon being largely public domain.

The difference is, Led Zep clearly passed off plagiarism as their own work.  It wasn’t the theft of others’ music...it was the theft of songwriting credit...and ultimately, the original musicians’ income.  You cannot make the argument that if Joan Baez or Bert Jansch were given legitimate songwriting/arranging credits, they’d have had quite a bit more in royalties coming from a band the gigantic size of Led Zep.

No, the problem here is the theft COMPOUNDED by the denial of it when faced with overwhelming evidence.  That’s why Led Zep is a problem while Jimi is not.  They give proper credit, and all those things Page said about “bringing something fresh” or “coming up with variations,” ring true.  Unfortunately, that’s not the case here.

Why do I hate James Horner for his ripoff of Shostakovich in his Troy soundtrack, but don’t have any issue with John Williams ripping off Dvorak’s “New World Symphony” for Jaws?  Because of all those notes that follow...Troy was nothing more than lazy musical plagiarism for a lazily executed movie, Jaws used Dvorak’s theme for inspiration that perfectly fit the film and was a legitimate fresh variation.  Troy just ripped off Shostakovich, put it over Brad Pitt doing one of the worst accents ever captured on film, and called it a day.

Theft in music is not a matter of intent, and it’s not an indictment on an artist’s creativity to do a variation on another’s work.  It’s not even an indictment on a musician’s execution of another’s work.  Lets use the seven deadly sins as a framework for nailing down the issue...

Lust - Lusting after another’s creativity?  Success?  Maybe...but truthfully, I feel like LZ ripped those musicians off out of admiration and loving their music.  They wouldn’t play music they think sounds like shit, it’s not like this was commercially successful stuff here.

Gluttony - I struggle to find anything gluttonous with the songs they covered...Rachmaninoff’s Ode to Paganini?  THAT is musically gluttonous.  That dude packed that piece to the gills with variations.

Sloth - Nope...it’s more difficult to rip someone off that specifically than it is to play your own music that comes out of your brain organically.  Stealing music in this fashion is not lazy.

Wrath - I find it hard to believe that Led Zeppelin would harbor any animosity towards any of these artists.  Why would you want to waste your time by playing music you hate?

Envy - Don’t see it.  Why would LZ be jealous of artists with lesser commercial success?  If anything, the envy is on the other side (even if those artists won’t admit it, trust me, they’re jealous)...Led Zep made those songs exponentially more commercially successful, and didn’t share their spoils with the original artists, which brings us to...

Greed - Bingo.

The sole reason this type of behavior is unsavory comes entirely down to green.  Green was a typo, but I’m going to keep it because it hits on the issue...if Led Zep had simply given some credit to the original artists, claimed arranging credits, this would be a complete non issue.  If anything, those artists suing the band, would likely be thanking them for bringing a new perspective, audience and increased awareness to their own stuff.

But this reeks of a money grab.  There’s no other reason to exclude the original artists for anything other than money coming in via songwriting credits.  Over decades and decades, for a band like Led Zeppelin, we’re talking tens of millions of dollars here.  Tens of millions of dollars that would likely be only somewhat lesser if they gave credit to the musicians they pilfered from.

To deny, obfuscate, and stubbornly contest damning evidence is merely digging a deeper hole.  We all know they stole, and we don’t care because the music was so awesome.  And even when they reveal themselves to be Grade A dicks, we still don’t care.  It would have been just so much easier and better for everyone to have done this the proper way legally...the music is what it is.

What Jimmy Page brought to the table was JIMMY PAGE.  His style and aesthetic is impossible to truly mimic, and when he brought that creativity and verve to his music, it was legitimately elevated.  By giving credit, he removes this stain of plagiarism and denial, and elevates himself as a musician even more.  But instead of choosing to be Robin Hood for lesser known musicians, he decided to be Mr. Burns.

And that’s the problem with all this.  Spirit was ripped off, but Spirit’s version aint anywhere near as awesome as “Stairway.”  By behaving the way they have in the face of fairly overwhelming, damning evidence, they’ve lessened their art when the high road would have been a far more rewarding route to take.

Think about it for a second...think about all the money Led Zep has likely burnt on legal fees and the damage to their reputation...wouldn’t it have been easier from the beginning just to throw the original artists a bone?  Do you think they probably netted out the extra cash they earned by fighting all this in court over the decades?

No idea, but it’s an interesting way to think about it.  It’s not ripping off anything if you give the original person credit...it’s an homage at that point.  Led Zeppelin just chose a different approach.