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noblesandsstories · 13 days ago

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Life is rough so I'm indulging two special interests at once...

Resident Evil Characters and What Their Partner Pokémon Would Be

(Note: Some are more fleshed out than others, and this isn't their ace, this is their emotional support partner pokemon. Edit: I made this at 12 in the morning and it shows. I did some polishing.)

Chris Redfield:

Lucario!

A pokémon known for a strong sense of justice and being very picky about it's trainer.

They met while Chris was in S.T.A.R.S. and while the lucario was still a riolu. Chris helped him out and took him in when the riolu was abandoned. It takes high friendship to evolve one, and the union between these two is strong.

Lucario actually evolved during the Mansion Incident, protecting Chris when he got knocked down.

From henceforth, the two are found side by side, upholding justice and protecting the weak. Whenever the other doesn't feel strong enough to continue, the other reminds them how strong they really are.

Jill Valentine:

Absol!

Absols live in the mountains and can sense when danger is about to occur sooooo...

They met at the Spencer Mansion. He was trying to warn them of everything going on (and had tried to save some of the murder victims) but stuck around to help Jill survive the mansion.

He was also essential to her survival in Raccoon City, and helped her avoid Nemesis once or twice.

Jill had her pokeballs on her when her and Wesker took that swan dive, but upon arrival to Africa, he had disappeared.

He knew something was wrong and looked over her from afar, but they were reunited when Jill was escaping with Josh and plan to stay that way from now on.

While she's had other pokemon for longer, the bond between these two is formidable and they are always in sync.

Claire Redfield:

Alolan Ninetails!

I do think regular ninetails could work as well, however Alolan Ninetails are known to be more protective of vulpix and guide people in distress (even if it is for slightly selfish reasons).

Maybe Chris got her an Alolan vulpix to help Claire emotionally, maybe they stumbled upon each other. I haven't quite got an idea as for how these two met, but they match each others vibes perfectly.

If Claire is mad at something, she's mad at it too, and vice versa, and I fucking dare you to hurt someone under their protection. It's a death sentence.

Claire's house is always cold as shit, since she's got a fancy fox to keep comfortable, but she doesn't mind it at all. The price to pay to keep her best friend comfortable.

Leon Kennedy:

Dusk form Lycanroc!

A combination of the loyal and calm demeanor of the Midday form and the battling spirit of the Midnight form, he works with our favorite dog special agent.

Where the two met, I'm unsure, but his rockruff evolved into a dusk form lycanroc the dawn after the Raccoon City incident. (My game is broken so I don't know when that would be)

Both move with expert precision, taking out foes quickly and efficiently. They are good at what they do, and no matter what the situation may be, they always have each other's back. (The idea of this little guy biting Ramone's ankle has me rolling with laughter.)

When Leon was going through the worst of the worst, drinking till morning, and hardly taking care of himself, his little buddy was with him the whole way. There would be times where, in an attempt to soothe and keep him from drinking anymore, lycanroc would curl up in Leon's lap and rest his head on Leon's shoulder. Leon cries like this often.

When Leon starts getting better, there is no creature on this Earth happier than his lycanroc.

Great now I'm emotional.

Rebecca Chambers:

Audino!

A healer, but they still put up a fight. Perfectly describes both.

Audino's ear tendril things work like stethoscopes and can sense a pokémon's feelings and condition, so she probably picked one up for her time as a medic on S.T.A.R.S. and the two became like peas in a pod.

Even when Rebecca worked as a virologist, the audino was a huge help, even if it was just holding pens or watching a stopwatch.

I feel like Rebecca would rubber duck her audino a lot, AKA talk and talk and talk at the audino until she came to a solution.

Imagining the scene in Death Island where Rebecca give's everyone the vaccine and the audino uses it's feelers to check up on everyone afterwards makes my heart weak.

They just want to help people so bad.

Ashley Graham:

Lampent!

Hear me out.

Ashley at home probably had something like a glameow, but it was probably more spoiled than she was, and not great at connecting emotionally. They are cowardly and probably ran when Ashley was yoinked.

Somewhere along the way to the castle in Spain, however, she found a litwick stuck in the rain and brought it into the castle for safety. They parted ways with it, but the litwick didn't forget her.

When Ashley gets separated from Leon and has to face the knights on her own, it's not the lantern she finds, but the now evolved lampent, who does everything in her power to make sure Ashley feels safe.

The lampent isn't stunning the knights so much as it's just draining their souls.

When Ashley get's taken again after this segment, she spends the rest of the time trying to reunite with her. They do meet back up at Luis' lab, where Ashley takes a stray pokeball and officially becomes the lampent's trainer.

Was Ashley's dad impressed? Probably not. But this thing saved his daughter, and that means something damnit.

Idk, something about her having a spooky pokémon she befriended due to the power of friendship.

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I have so many thoughts on this idea, and this isn't even everyone I've thought of, just the big ones.

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thisqueerlove · 26 days ago

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HAPPY PRIDE MONTH! 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

Here’s a list of some of my favorite Queer media, and even though I’m a film and series account I decided to add my favorite books as well.

If you’d like to add your own favorites in the comments and tags please do!

Films: 🎥🏳️‍🌈

Wildhood (2021)

Nimona (2023)

Red, White and Royal Blue (2023)

To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything (1995)

The Old Guard (2020)

Fire Island (2022)

But I’m a Cheerleader (1999)

Strange World (2022)

The Birdcage (1996)

Your Name Engraved Herein (2020)

Hearts Beat Loud (2018)

The Handmaiden (2016)

Dirty Computer (2018)

BL Series: 💻🏳️‍🌈

To My Star (2021-2022)

Our Dating Sim (2023)

Roommates of Poongduck 304 (2022)

Jack & Joker (2024)

Century of Love (2024)

ThamePo (2024)

KinnPorsche (2022)

The Heart Killers (2024)

Manner of Death (2020)

Jack o’ Frost (2023)

Pit Babe (2023-2025)

Between Us (2022)

Perfect 10 Liners (2024)

The Next Prince (2025)

Books: 📚🏳️‍🌈

The Rowan Blood series by Kellen Graves (mlm, queer-normative society)

The Raven Cycle series by Maggie Stiefvater (mlm)

The Feverwake series by Victoria Lee (mlm)

The Iron Widow series by Xiran Jay Zhao (bi, polyam, FMM)

Cemetery Boys by Aidan Thomas (gay, trans)

Legends & Lattes by Travis Baldtree (wlw)

The Final Strife by Sarra El-Arifi (wlw, trans, queer-normative society)

Legendborn Cycle series by Tracy Deonn (wlw, mlm, nonbinary)

Red, White and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston (mlm)

One Last Stop by Casey McQuiston (wlw)

Winter’s Orbit / Ocean’s Echo by Everina Maxwell (mlm)

Lakelore by Anna-Marie McLemore (trans)

All That’s Left In The World by Erik J. Brown (mlm)

Icebreaker by A.L. Graziadei (mlm)

Pet / Bitter by Akwaeke Emezi (queer, trans)

The Tea Dragon Society series by Kay O’Neill (mlm, queer-normative society)

A Psalm For The Wild-Built duology by Becky Chambers (agender, queer-normative society)

Silver in The Wood duology by Emily Tesh (mlm)

Felix Ever After by Kacen Callender (trans, mlm)

Sorrowland by Rivers Solomon (sapphic, If I remember correctly)

We Deserve Monuments by Jas Hammonds (wlw)

The Lesbiana’s Guide To Catholic School by Sonora Reyes (wlw)

Can’t Spell Treason Without Tea by Rebecca Thorne (wlw)

Raybearer duology by Jordan Ifueko (queer, asexual)

A Dowry of Blood by S.T Gibson (bi, polyam, FFMM)

#happy pride month #pride #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtqa #lgbtqia #queer #lesbian #gay #bisexual #transgender #pansexual #bl drama #bl series #mlm #wlw #Thai bl #korean bl #books

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delphi-shield · 8 months ago

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resident evil ⇀

leon s. kennedy ⇀

initiative order

fluff. leon comes home early to find his partner playing tabletop with their friends.

helping hand 18+

smut. leon helps his partner take a toy.

push and pull 18+

smut. poly. leon/reader/jill. Jill said she'd be home two hours ago. She's stood you up for dinner again. You're so upset, Leon's got to fuck you about it to make you feel better.

a lover's guide to defusing time bombs 18+

smut, fluff. leon returns from assignment in time to keep his promise and take his partner to the christmas parade.

on the exhale

fluff. after your home is broken into, leon insists on teaching you how to shoot.

contact high

fluff. leon picks you up from a party.

instant connection part one , part two

fluff. long-distance relationship w/ post-di!leon

everywhere, man 18+

smut. public sex.

a little dream of me

fluff. poly. leon/reader/jill.

fake it til you make it

fluff, hurt/comfort. christmas fic for leon secret santa '24.

outfit control w/ leon 18+

smut. headcanons.

jill valentine ⇀

classified intel

fluff. suggestive. you text jill some dirty pics while she's away for work.

christmas tree farm

fluff. jill helps you pick out a christmas tree.

push and pull 18+

smut. poly. leon/reader/jill. Jill said she'd be home two hours ago. She's stood you up for dinner again. You're so upset, Leon's got to fuck you about it to make you feel better.

kiss it better 18+

smut. mdlg. Jill's got reservations about this whole 'mommy' thing. She's not the maternal type - but for you, she can try.

early morning reverie 18+

smut. tribbing. thigh-riding. mentioned facesitting.

a little dream of me

fluff. poly. leon/reader/jill.

claire redfield ⇀

communion 18+

smut. you let claire crawl back into your bed again.

pity party 18+

smut. your jealousy peaks when claire takes you to a party.

a non-traditional approach to loss & grief

hurt/comfort. claire considers her future while the shadow of raccoon city looms over her.

claire & her breeding kink 18+

smut. headcanons.

chris redfield ⇀

mind your manners - 18+

smut. gn!reader. chris has three rules in the bedroom.

rebecca chambers ⇀

detours in the pursuit of knowledge - 18+

smut. fem!reader. rebecca poaches a graduate assistant from a fellow professor for completely ethical reasons.

headcanons & drabbles⇀

close in the distance

poly drabbles.

includes: jill & leon, jill/claire, jill/chris, jill/carlos, chris/leon, chris/rebecca, leon/ada, leon/claire

old folks home

age gap headcanons.

includes: leon, chris, jill, claire, rebecca.

in your guts - 18+

smut. strap-on headcanons.

includes: jill, claire, rebecca, ada, helena, leon

say it back

fluff. as a joke, you don't say 'i love you' back.

includes: chris, leon, jill, ada

non-reader inserts ⇀

willsker musings

ramble. wesker clings to the last vestiges of birkin.

wash out

hurt/comfort. claire redfield/jill valentine. in 1996, claire wonders if jill has ever thought of going blonde. a decade and a half later, she helps her get back to normal.

variations on a theme

cleon. hurt/comfort. fluff. lots of sherry. Sherry organizes a memorial service; Claire and Leon try to put aside their grief to mourn the way she does.

#nav

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crimescrimson · 1 year ago

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Red's Guide to Resident Evil [Volume Five] Resident Evil 1 (2002)

Scenery: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11]

Characters: Jill Valentine [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] | Barry Burton [1] [2] [3] | Albert Wesker [1] [2] | Rebecca Chambers [1] [2] | Richard Aiken [1]

Creatures: All [1]

Alternate Costumes: Jill Valentine [1] [2] [3] [+1] | Rebecca Chambers [1]

#crimson's gifs: resident evil #Resident Evil #RE #Resident Evil 1 #RE1 #Resident Evil 1 Remastered #RE1R #Resident Evil 1 (2002)#Red's Gifset Masterlists #Red's Resident Evil Files #Jill Valentine #Barry Burton #Rebecca Chambers #Albert Wesker #Richard Aiken #Great game!!#I got the infinite rocket launcher while doing this

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silvercap · 9 months ago

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May I please have a 'being led back to bed with patient whispers' pretty please? <333

Absolutely <3 (Prompts) doing this with the knight au tho

+: being led back to bed with patient whispers

The hallway is cold, dark with the midnight chill of an autumn night that bites through Piers' robe and sleeping attire. The occasional gas lamp along the wall is the only thing to illuminate the figure slumped in front of a windowsill, their pale limbs almost the same washed-out shade as the loose infirmary nightgown they've been dressed in and the stark bandages that peek out in various places from beneath the fabric.

Piers' eyes widen as he picks up his pace, knees colliding with the tile floor so hard he's sure there'll be bruises in the morning. He doesn't care---not when it's Leon leaning limp and unconscious against the cold stone, head tipped back to bare his throat and hair hanging lank around his face as he gasps for breath and trembles with the illness currently leaving him feverish and weak. It had been an arrow wound---an ugly thing that had bled so fiercely Piers can swear he still smells the iron tang in the air---that had cut him down on a trip into the town, a horde of bandits who'd dared to challenge the capital city's guards too much even for Leon to handle by himself. Rebecca, the palace's healer, had though perhaps the arrow had been poisoned with dark magic, but its vicious barbs and necessity of surgical removal could certainly have been a catalyst for infection.

"My love," Piers whispers, reaching out to cradle Leon's head between his hands. It's limp and heavy, as if his neck no longer has bones. "My love, you must wake up. You'll catch a chill if you sleep here."

Hazy blue eyes flicker open as Leon's chest hitches, glassy and unfocused even as Leon's trembling hands find delicate purchase on Piers' thigh. His voice is little more than a slurred rasp. "Piers?"

"Yes, I'm here. Come back to bed, you must have been sleepwalking again." Piers ignores the lingering swell of fear that waking up next to an empty infirmary bed had caused, instead crouching closer so he can try to make eye contact. "Do you think you can walk back?"

Leon hums, a pained sound more akin to a groan. "Mhmm..."

His hands are ice cold when Piers takes them in his own, though the rest of his body emanates muggy dampness even through the thin linen nightgown. He stumbles on his feet, wincing when the movement jars the wound in his thigh. Piers dips close enough to take some of his weight, just in time for Leon's legs to buckle. Leon whimpers.

"It's alright, I've got you," Piers murmurs, gently stroking Leon's flank where his hand has come to rest above the man's waist. "That's it. I know it must hurt."

It takes a moment before Leon nods hesitantly, taking a coltish step forward before collapsing against Piers again. Ideally, he could get one of the other knights from the garrison to carry Leon back to bed, his own muscles still sadly lesser than Leon's, but he's loath to leave his husband behind to wander the corridors in his delirium.

"Just a little bit farther," Piers soothes, keeping his tone a low murmur that's close to a whisper. "Small steps, that's it."

Little by little, they make their way through the chill of the hallway with gentle words of encouragement, the tremors of Leon's body growing more intense the longer he spends upright. He's sweating, panting for breath by the time they make it to Piers' chambers---much closer to them than the infirmary, and the fire still glows from where it had been built up earlier in the hearth. Leon's body feels oddly frail as Piers guides him down to the soft mattress, pulling back the covers and carefully tucking them around his lithe frame. He leans in to kiss Leon's forehead, Leon's eyelids already drooping with the heavy pull of sleep.

"Piers," he mumbles, then sighs. He's asleep in the next breath, not even stirring when Piers slips into bed beside him and gently wraps an arm around his waist.

#whump #ask game #my fics #asks #resident evil #drabbles #nivannedy #knight au #hehehe thanks Cerul

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littleaipom · 29 days ago

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Quick Reviews of the 20 books I’ve read this year!

In order of best first~~ (sequels put in indents) [edit: the numbers got messed up. live with it ig]

“The Cautious Traveller’s Guide to the Wastelands” by Sarah Brooks: 10/10 A story I didn’t know I needed in my life, and could justifiably be my new muse. Gripped me by the soul a little.

“Chokepoint Capitalism” by Cory Doctorow & Rebecca Giblin: 10/10 for shining a light on the enshittification phenomena of everyday life in a way that makes me feel less insane.

“Into the Wild” by Jon Krakauer: 9/10 I’m Haunted by the mirror this book raised to a restlessness I've seen tear at myself and others I have been close to.

“Laziness Does Not Exist” by Devon Price: 9/10 invaluable message for everyone who lives in a society. Would have broken my mind if I read it 10 years younger.

“The Green Glass Sea” by Ellen Klages: 9/10 somehow infectiously cozy despite the horrors.

“The Wild Robot” by Peter Brown: 9/10 delightful and thrilling and heartwarming and relatable all wrapped in a crafted simplicity for a kids book.

-“The Wild Robot Escapes” 8/10 less cozy than its predecessor, and i feel there were some missed opportunities for exploring Roz’s identity more. -“The Wild Robot Protects” 7/10 lacks a strong purpose/heart in its story direction, but still neat.

“Half a Soul” by Olivia Atwater: 8/10 absolutely solid feel-good book. Had me giggling and grinning and shouting at the romance plotline.

“Dragonet Prophecy” (Wings of Fire) by Tui T. Sutherland. 8/10 delightfully unique! Was not ready for the amount of war crimes that exist in this series lol.

-“The Lost Heir” (Wings of Fire) 8/10 love the worldbuilding, love the ridiculous side characters. -“The Hidden Kingdom” (Wings of Fire) 7.5/10 Charming. -“The Dark Secret” (Wings of Fire) 7/10 Am I crazy or is Starflight more interesting in every other book where he isn’t the protagonist?? He felt underutilized. -“The Brightest Night” (Wings of Fire) 7/10 mildly disappointing ending with a mcguffin, but still fun. Felt like the series kinda slowed down on interesting ideas as it went.

“The Lighthouse Witches” by C. J. Cooke: 8/10 well woven mystery plot that may have been far more impactful on a younger version of myself.

“Becoming Wild” by Carl Safina: 7.5/10 dry at times, but dramatically reshaped my worldview on animals and humans. I feel more connection to nature now, even to the bugs.

“Not Too Late” by various authors incl. Rebecca Solnit: 7.5/10 plenty of important and positive messages about fighting for change, and not super dry.

“All Creatures Great and Small” by James Harriot: 7.5/10 simple yet will grab you by the heart sometimes. Author is a great at recounting his life’s stories in an interesting way.

“A Psalm for the Wild Built” by Becky Chambers: 7/10 characters feel like they exist just to philosophize about life, but some good ideas are shared. I wish the worldbuilding was explained more bc it seemed cool, I wanna live there.

“A Winter’s Promise” by Christelle Dabos: 5/10 the writing is FINE but there is so little payoff for anything I'm kind of majorly ticked off by this one. I only finished it bc i value my friendship with the person who recc’d it.

#books #book reviews #postmadders #i WAS going to write more for each one but who am I kidding this already took so long #keeping the commentary shorter kinda works well tbh. i must get to the point.#it occurs to me that so many reviews are highly-rated. but like...#i'm not gonna be finishing books if they rate lower than 7 for the most part. wasting my time/attention makes me so angry

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oysters-aint-for-me · 6 months ago

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books i’ve read in 2025

Make the Season Bright, by Ashley Herring Blake (1-2-25)

Wandering Stars, by Tommy Orange (1-10-25)

The Long Way to a Small Angry Planet, by Becky Chambers (reread, 1-12-25)

The Shipping News, by Annie Proulx (1-14-25)

Nona the Ninth, by Tamsyn Muir (reread, 1-20-25)

Entangled Life, by Merlin Sheldrake (1-22-25)

Wellness, by Nathan Hill (1-24-25)

Sorcery and Small Magics, by Maiga Doocy (1-29-25)

Creation Lake, by Rachel Kushner (1-30-25)

The Water Outlaws, by SL Huang (2-7-25)

The Secret Lives of Country Gentlemen, by KJ Charles (2-9-25)

The Murderbot Diaries Vol. 1, with All Systems Red and Artificial Condition, by Martha Wells (2-12-25)

The Information, by James Gleick (2-14-25)

The Covenant of Water, by Abraham Verghese (2-23-25)

The Nobleman’s Guide to Seducing a Scoundrel, by KJ Charles (2-24-25)

A Closed and Common Orbit, by Becker Chambers (reread, 2-27-25)

The Murderbot Diaries Vol. 2, with Rogue Protocol and Exit Strategy, by Martha Wells (3-1-25)

Slippery Creatures, by KJ Charles (3-3-25)

The Sugared Game, by KJ Charles (3-9-25)

Exhalation, by Ted Chiang (3-15-25)

Rules for Ghosting, by Shelly Jay Shore (3-16-25)

Subtle Blood, by KJ Charles (3-19-25)

The Queer Principles of Kitt Webb, by Cat Sebastian (3-23-25)

The Book of Love, by Kelly Link (3-27-25)

The Perfect Crimes of Marian Hayes, by Cat Sebastian (3-30-25)

You Should Be So Lucky, by Cat Sebastian (4-8-25)

Swordcrossed, by Freya Marske (4-12-25)

The Twenty-Seventh City, by Jonathan Franzen (4-21-25)

The Priory of the Orange Tree, by Samantha Shannon (4-24-25)

The MANIAC, by Benjamín Labatut (4-27-25)

The Remains of the Day, by Kazuo Ishiguro (5-1-25)

The Pomegranate Gate, by Ariel Kaplan (5-11-25)

Chasing the Scream, by Johann Hari (5-18-25)

Intermezzo, by Sally Rooney (5-21-25)

Network Effect, by Martha Wells (5-31-25)

The Ministry of Time, by Kaliane Bradley (6-1-25)

The Great Believers, by Rebecca Makkai (6-6-25)

A Day of Fallen Night, by Samantha Shannon (6-18-25)

To Be Taught, If Fortunate, by Becky Chambers (6-20-25)

#books #reading

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memecatwings · 3 months ago

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10 books to read for 2025

tagged by @aidenwaites i actually have a list i wrote out at the start of the year of all the books i own but havent read yet and ive been slowly making my way down it so im just gonna list the next 10 in my queue!

1. the king in yellow by robert w chambers. i found out that the edition i bought and read first only had half the stories that were in the full version (sad since the edition was so pretty) so i bought a complete version to read and its next on my list

2. storm of locusts by rebecca roanhorse. its the second book in her sixth world series which is on indefinite hiatus 💔 i enjoyed the first one a lot so i cant wait to crack into the next. rebecca roanhorses short story in the never whistle at night anthology was one of my favorites and it made me realize id been sleeping on her so i immediately went to grab trail of lightning, which i finally read a couple weeks ago! and it was really good! i love the hatergirl/loverboy dynamic duo going on in this series.

3. blood of hercules by jasmine mas. im gonna hateread and annotate it. pictures from this one have made the rounds on tumblr and it looks bad. really bad.

4. the great hunt by robert jordan. this is the second book in the wheel of time series. ive been seeing so much about the tv show so i decided to check out the books and the first one was pretty good so here i go. transition would save her (rand al thor)

5. hotel magnifique by emily j taylor. i bought this one a while back because it sounded intriguing but then my friend read it and said she hated it. excited to see how bad it is

6. ninth house by leigh bardugo. this ones been haunting me for so long i bought my copy when it first dropped and then never read it even though ive heard so many good things about it. finally getting to it though

7. the haunting of hill house by shirley jackson. i cant believe i havent read it yet honestly. i'll get to you soon 💔

8. scapegracers by h.a. clarke. i absolutely loved this authors other book (metal from heaven) so i immediately went to grab this trilogy. its gonna make me want to eat the pages i can just tell.

9. demon copperhead by barbara kingsolver. ive seen so much hype for this one and a very pretty rainbow edition enticed me.

10. southern book clubs guide to slaying vampires by grady hendrix. this one is a reread. ive been steadily making my way through hendrixs' books recently and i feel the need to revisit this one to really compare it to his other works with fresh eyes. i went to a grady hendrix signing event and he was a really funny guy i hope it still holds up

funnily enough the next two on my list are shriek by jeff vandermeer and house of leaves by mark z danielewski. thats gonna be a harrowing week in reading for me.

tagging @vikingpoteto @spookyteeths @orlamccools and uuuuhhh any other book mutuals i forgot about i dont usually do tag games but i love to talk about what books im reading

#i could do book blogging for real but once it becomes an obligation it stops being fun so i shant

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rolandtowen · 3 months ago

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oh - my - god - keep - me from going lunatic: chapter 12

Chapter Summary: Jason & Sam consider a brain injury diagnosis. Bucky discovers YouTube knitting tutorials.

Read on ao3 or under the cut!

Jason was supposed to be retired. He was supposed to be playing with his grandkids right now, watching his youngest on their newest swingset and keeping the older two from accidentally burning the house down.

But when Sam Wilson called him up and told him that the Bucky Barnes needed a neurologist and deprogramming specialist, how could he say no? In his study, Jason pored over the Winter Soldier files, stopping frequently to remind himself to breathe, dammit. If Barnes had to live through this, he should be able to read it.

What he saw in the Middle East was nowhere near what was described in these files. He wasn’t kidding when he told Sam a heads-up would’ve been nice. Really, he should have known it was gonna be awful. Makes having your medical convoy blown up by an IED sound like a picnic.

The longest captivity he’d seen during the Gulf War was only six weeks. Barnes had been held for over sixty years. Some of that was cryostasis, but still, doing the math and adding up time outside of the cryo chamber gives Jason a number of roughly five years. And HYDRA only took him out of cryo freeze when they had to do something to him–five straight years of medical experimentation and programming and training. He probably didn’t see the sun from the time he’d been captured to the time of his first mission.

The files don’t mention it, but Jason suspects that the abuse Barnes suffered at HYDRA wasn’t constrained to the “necessary” stuff needed to maintain a brainwashed POW. It never is. People who are willing to completely erase a human and leave behind a tool tend to be sadists. Barnes had been completely vulnerable for decades, suggestible and malleable, and��Jesus, Jason doesn’t want to think about it. He’s gonna have to trust Rebecca and her ability to guide Barnes through becoming a human again. His job is to understand the science behind the brainwashing and develop a way to break the trigger sequence.

Fucking bleak.

The Avengers had redacted the actual trigger words from the files, but Jason doesn't need them. The important bits are all there. The trigger sequence consists of ten words, which must be uttered in the same order. The trigger sequence often follows a "reset" from the Chair, but Jason notes several times in which handlers used the sequence without the application of electricity. He concludes that the two serve separate functions: the Chair selectively wipes memory and keeps the subject suggestible, while the trigger words induce obedience.

The recent brain scans sent by Bruce offer some hope. There is evidence of neurogenesis, new cells filling the gaping voids in Barnes' white matter. The behavioral briefings he gets are promising too. Rebecca says Barnes has been able to challenge some of the programming left behind by HYDRA. He’s started expressing preferences, choosing how to spend the free time allotted in his schedule. He’s even begun giving intel to the team so they can wipe out what’s left of HYDRA. But Rebecca also notes that Barnes is still having a tough time with executive functioning and dissociating, nevermind the whole process of regaining his decades of lost memory and personality.

Contrary to what pop psychology and true crime shows have led the public to believe, there’s no tried and true way to deprogram someone who’s experienced a high control environment, like a cult or captivity. Everyone’s trauma response is different. Some people fight. Some people flee. And it sounds like Barnes’ trauma responses are freezing and fawning. Withdrawing into himself and desperately, desperately trying to please the people around him that he views as superiors. He talked with Natasha a bit, tried to understand what it was like for her coming out of the Red Room and the KGB. There was indoctrination, certainly, but nothing on the same scale as the complete and total dehumanization Barnes suffered at HYDRA. The Widows were never made to doubt whether or not they were human.

It’s not like there’s a whole lot of peer-reviewed studies Jason can reference about his best course of action here. For obvious reasons, there’s no randomized controlled trials on conditioning and dehumanization. Much of the original research and theorizing about brainwashing and conditioning is tainted by anti-Communist sentiment. What he does have is his education as a neurologist, his field experience with soldiers in Afghanistan, and a few accounts of recovery from prisoners of war in Vietnam. The experiences of American POWs in Vietnam would probably be the closest to Bucky’s experience, but the psychologists and neurologists who worked with those soldiers are long dead.

Jason’s flying blind. And hoping he doesn’t crash and burn.

He starts with the literature on brain injuries. There’s no doubt that Barnes’ brain is, indeed, injured. Most of the physical symptoms you would expect to see in a brain injury patient–headaches, dizziness, loss of coordination–appear to have been compensated for by the serum. Or, Jason notes, Barnes could just be very good at hiding his symptoms. Dammit. Fawning again. He makes a note to tell Sam and have them ask specifically about physical brain injury symptoms. HYDRA probably had Barnes on that cocktail of drugs to compensate for the physical deterioration that followed each reset. The cognitive symptoms, those are all present. Memory loss, executive dysfunction, difficulty sleeping, all that jazz.

Barnes’ condition could best be described as an acquired brain injury. Traumatic brain injury, that’s the flashy stuff. The kind of injury that plagues American football players, where an outside force causes the brain to physically collide with the skull. But Barnes? Barnes had been repeatedly subjected to several hundred volts of electricity, aimed strategically at the temporal lobe, causing cell death and hemorrhage and lesions. For years. Until recently, doctors used to think that brain injury was something that was fleeting, temporary – that the brain could stabilize in a few years given the right therapies and support. But for people with severe brain injuries, or even a few successive concussions, brain injury can be a chronic, lifelong recovery.

Jason’s never encountered cryo freeze before, but he can guess that, given the damage Barnes’ brain has been subjected to, even with serum enhancements, his brain is still pre-recovery. For every. Single. Reset. Healing factor inhibited by the cryofreeze. If they want to break that trigger sequence, they have to be able to address the damage done by the resets, even if it means Barnes looks like he’s regressing a bit. Jason glances at the clock. It’s late in Seattle, which means it’s definitely too early for a phone call. He’ll have to text instead. He dictates a message using voice-to-text.

J: when you get the chance, can you do a brain injury screening on B? Worried he might be masking physical symptoms.

S: It’s too early for this shit.

J: It’s too late for this shit.

S: But yes. Good catch. I’ll let you know what I find.

***

Sam’s not entirely sure how he became an ex-assassin’s favorite regular human, but hey, he’ll take it. Maybe it’s his counseling training, or maybe it’s his immaculate vibes, but whatever. He’s just glad that Bucky has at least one friend who’s not also adjusting to the 21st century. Not that Steve has been doing a bad job or anything – quite the opposite – but Sam knows that Steve has his own baggage, enough to fill a damn cargo hold. Point is, Steve can’t do this by himself, though that sure would be a sight to watch him try.

After he returned from destroying the Siberian base, Sam has kept a close eye on Bucky, even beyond his scheduled visits. He just has this gut feeling that there’s something more, like the refeeding syndrome, something they’ve missed. So when Jason texts him in the middle of the night to ask him to do a proper brain injury screening on Bucky, it clicks. Of course, Bucky would be hiding any physical symptoms. But the breadcrumbs are all there. The trouble sleeping, the vomiting after a flashback, the problems with temperature regulation, the anxiety while standing still for the brain scans. True, most of that could be attributed to trauma, but still – Sam can’t really remember anyone asking Bucky outright if he was feeling pain or nausea or any physical symptoms after the refeeding scare.

He prints out a worksheet. Bucky’s gotta be drowning in worksheets, but this one is important.

When he goes for one of his afternoon visits, Bucky is watching something on the TV, enraptured. Sam has to do a double take, but it appears that the former Winter Soldier is watching YouTube tutorials on…knitting?

Bucky looks up as Sam enters the living room, then gestures towards the TV. “I asked JARVIS what knitting was. He has been most helpful.”

Sam chuckles, taking a seat next to Bucky on the large couch. “What got you interested in knitting?”

“The doctor…Helen. She brought something called crochet to the movie night and it – it looked familiar, but not quite right.”

“Bucky asked me about activities similar to crochet and I have demonstrated numerous forms of fiber arts for him,” JARVIS interjects. “We have determined that knitting is likely the activity Bucky recalls.”

“Huh,” Sam ponders. “Do you know, are you remembering someone else knitting, or yourself knitting?”

Bucky’s silent for several seconds, his lips pursed together, brow furrowed in thought. Sam gives him the time to think it through. “I think…I was knitting. Socks.”

Now that’s interesting. Sam’s certain the memory is connected to the war effort, or maybe even the Great Depression, which means that Bucky’s recovered memories are reaching back further and further. “Would you like us to get you some knitting supplies?”

Again, Bucky pauses, his eyes trained on the TV where a woman explains how to use something called a ‘magic loop’. Finally, he says in a small voice: “I’d like that.”

Sam flounders for a moment, because while he’s overjoyed that Bucky has actively chosen a hobby to participate in, he doesn’t know the first thing about knitting supplies or where to buy it or –

“Not to worry, Sergeant Wilson, I can order the items necessary to complete several beginner-friendly projects,” JARVIS announces. Sam breathes a sigh of relief. Thank God. He pulls out the worksheet he’d brought, torn between asking Bucky to walk through it or just letting the man watch knitting tutorials for the rest of the afternoon. Blessedly, Bucky notices the paper and looks up from the TV.

“I am ready for a task,” he offers. Which sounds a lot better than ‘ready to comply’, but it still makes Sam squirm a little bit. So much of Bucky’s phrasing is still devoid of choice and autonomy. He’s ready for tasks, for work, for whatever, but very rarely does he express his wants still. Sam loses himself in his train of thought before looking up to find Bucky staring at him expectantly.

“Right,” Sam says, shifting on the couch. “I actually don’t have a task for you today, more of…an assessment.” Bucky eyes him cautiously, and Sam continues. “Nothing physical, I just have some questions to ask, about how your body’s feeling at this moment. I’m asking these questions so that we can develop a more effective treatment plan, does that make sense?”

Bucky nods twice, and positions himself to face Sam. “I can answer.”

Sam looks down at the worksheet, then hesitates. God, it’s never this complicated with his VA clients, not even close. Some of them do offer resistance to being screened for certain diagnoses – the stigma around PTSD and brain injury is still alive and well in the military – but none of their situations are even close to as complicated as Bucky’s. “I want to emphasize that you can answer honestly,” Sam says slowly. “Nothing bad is gonna happen to you based on how you answer, and this isn’t a test. I’m just…gathering data. Do you understand?”

Bucky nods again, then says: “No punishment, I understand.”

Sam breathes a sigh of relief and finally looks down at the worksheet. “I have these statements, and I’d like you to indicate on a scale of 0 to 10 how applicable the statement is to you, okay?” Sam shifts so that Bucky can see the worksheet, with 0 labelled as ‘not at all’, 1-3 as ‘mild’, 4-7 as ‘moderate’, and 8-10 as ‘severe’. “So, right now, are you experiencing any pain in your head?”

Bucky nods, and points to the column marked ‘7’. They continue like that down the rows.

Neck pain, 3. Bright lights, 8. Loud noises, 9. Dizziness, 5. Nausea, 7. Eyesight, 4. Clumsiness, 4. Once they reach the cognitive statements – it takes me longer to think, I forget things, I get confused easily, I have trouble concentrating – Bucky’s indicating in the ‘severe’ columns across the board. They reach the statement about getting angry or irritated quickly and Bucky hesitates, his finger hovering over the page and his eyes flitting between the paper and Sam.

“It’s okay,” Sam assures him. “There’s no right or wrong answers.”

Bucky indicates an 8, quickly qualifying it by saying “irritation. Just irritation.” The last few statements – I feel restless, I feel tired during the day, I find it hard to sleep at night – Bucky all scores as 9s. He watches nervously as Sam does some math in the margins of the page. Sam tries not to react, and it’s what he expected honestly. Bucky’s score strongly indicates brain injury, with a cognitive symptom cluster. He looks up at Bucky, who’s watching him expectantly. “Thank you,” Sam says with sincerity. “This is really helpful, Bucky. Is there anything else you want to share with me while I’m here?”

Bucky shakes his head, and they sit in silence for several minutes, a knitting tutorial still playing on the TV on mute. After a while, he turns to look at Sam, his mouth opening and closing hesitantly. Sam doesn’t prompt him, lets the words come on their own. “Is…am I always going to feel like this?” Bucky asks quietly. “Am I ever going to get better?”

Sam’s heart breaks for him. How lonely it must be, to have no memory of who you are, to feel trapped inside your brain with programming yelling at you for having wants and needs. “I don’t know,” he says honestly. “But I think that you’re already showing progress, you know?”

Bucky shrugs. “I just – I don’t know what I’m good for.”

A lightbulb goes off in Sam’s brain. The team has been trying their darndest to give Bucky structure in the schedule, but he doesn’t really have structured goals. Just the nebulous idea of ‘get better’ and ‘heal’. But for Bucky, who’s been mission-oriented for several decades – and his entire life, if you believe Steve’s stories – being told to sit around and listen to music and color and try and regain his memories. The man needs a task, not just a one-off thing like learning how to make tea or take a shower. He needs something tangible he can work towards. Some visual progress. Cracking a smile, he turns slowly to look at Bucky and asks, “well, how would you feel about making me some socks?”

Bucky grins.

#bucky barnes #the winter soldier #captain america #catws #sam wilson #the falcon #knitting #wwii #brain injury #bucky barnes recovering #ao3 #fanfiction #original character

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soracities · 2 years ago

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would you be willing to share books or poems with your favorite or even pretty writing / prose? thank you 😊

oh Absolutely

books!

A Moth to a Flame, Stig Dagerman

For Two Thousand Years, Mihail Sebastian

The Bloody Chamber, Angela Carter

Her Body and Other Parties, Carmen Maria Machado

The House on Mango Street, Sandra Cisneros

The Waves, Virginia Woolf

Mrs Dalloway, Virginia Woolf

The Sea, John Banville

The Tenderness of Wolves, Stef Penney

Possession, A.S. Byatt

The Memory Police, Yoko Ogawa

The Thirteenth Tale, Diane Setterfield

The Book of Delights, Ross Gay

Wide Sargasso Sea, Jean Rhys

i am lewy, Eoghan Ó Tuairisc

A Tale for the Time Being, Ruth Ozeki

Seiobo There Below, Laszlo Krasznahorkai

The History of Love, Nicole Krauss

The Carpenters Pencil, Manuel Rivas

Books Burn Badly, Manuel Rivas (full disclosure: the language in this book is HARD)

How the Soldier Repairs the Gramophone, Saša Stanišić

From A to X: A Story in Letters, John Berger

Tess of the d'Urbervilles, Thomas Hardy

A Thousand Splendid Suns, Khaled Hosseini

Still Life with Oysters and Lemon, Mark Doty

The Unbearable Lightness of Being, Milan Kundera

Paris, When It's Naked, Etel Adnan

A Ghost in the Throat, Doireann Ní Ghríofa

Four Bare Legs in a Bed: Stories, Helen Simpson

South of the Border, West of the Sun, Haruki Murakami

A Field Guide to Getting Lost, Rebecca Solnit

Perfume: The Story of a Murderer, Patrick Süskind

The Things We Don't Do, Andrés Neuman

We Love Glenda So Much and Other Tales, Julio Cortázar

Letters to a Young Poet, Rilke

All We Saw, Anne Michaels (poetry)

Collected Poems of Vasko Popa, Vasko Popa (poetry)

Barefoot Souls, Maram al-Masri (poetry)

Without an Alphabet, Without a Face, Saadi Youssef (poetry)

poems!

"In Spite of Everything, the Stars" by Edward Hirsch

"I Can Tell You a Story" by Chuck Carlise

"The Roses of Saadi" by Marceline Desbordes-Valmore

"The Stare" by Sujata Bhatt

"Stolen Moments" by Kim Addonizio

"Moonlight Sonata" by Yannis Ritsos

"No Title Required" by Wislawa Szymborska

"I Sleep A Lot" by Czeslaw Milosz

"Prayer for the Mutilated World" by sam sax

"Try to Praise the Mutilated World" by Adam Zagajewski

"I Cannot be Known" by Paul Eluard

"The Cinnamon Peeler" by Michael Ondaatje

"Filling Spice Jars as Your Wife" by Kai Coggin

"Persimmons" by Li-Young Lee

"This Room and Everything in It" by Li-Young Lee

"When We With Sappho" by Kenneth Rexroth

"On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous" by Ocean Vuong

"Not Even This" by Ocean Vuong

"Elegy of Fortinbras" by Zbigniew Herbert

"Wedding Poem" by Ross Gay

"Transformations of the Lover" by Adonis

"Cloves" by Saadi Youssef

"Punishment" by Seamus Heaney

"I've Dreamed of You So Much" by Robert Desnos

"Bleecker Street, Summer" by Derek Walcott

"Cave Dwellers" by A. Poulain Jr.

"De Humani Corporis Fabrica" by John Burnside

"The Great Fires" by Jack Gilbert

"The Forgotten Dialect of the Heart" by Jack Gilbert

#ask #anonymous #book recs #poetry recs

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mystery-of-arkham-asylum · 1 year ago

Text

A list of books I have read this year. Will reblog everytime I update as I read more. Doing this a a bit of fun and to hopefully motive myself to read a bit more like I used to.

(I would like to state that I do not share/approve of the views or opinions of a certain author on this list. I just enjoy the books and won't let some poor excuse of a human being ruin them for me.)

First time reading | Reread

Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone - J.K.Rowling

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets- J.K.Rowling

The Sheep-Pig - Dick King-Smith

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban - J.K.Rowling

Cirque Du Freak - Darren Shan

The Vampire's Assistant - Darren Shan

Tunnels of Blood - Darren Shan

The Tale of Peter Rabbit - Beatrix Potter

The Tale of Squirrel Nutkin - Beatrix Potter

The Tailor of Gloucester - Beatrix Potter

The Tale of Benjamin Bunny - Beatrix Potter

The Tale of Two Bad Mice - Beatrix Potter

The Tale of Mrs Tiggy-Winkle - Beatrix Potter

The Tale of The Pie and The Patty-Pan - Beatrix Potter

The Tale of Mr. Jeremy Fisher - Beatrix Potter

The Story of a Fierce Bad Rabbit - Beatrix Potter

The Story of Miss Moppet - Beatrix Potter

The Tale of Tom Kitten - Beatrix Potter

The Tale of Jemima Puddle Duck - Beatrix Potter

The Tale of Samuel Whiskers or the Roly-Poly Pudding - Beatrix Potter

The Tale of The Flopsy Bunnies - Beatrix Potter

The Tale of Ginger and Pickles - Beatrix Potter

The Tale of Mrs Tittlemouse - Beatrix Potter

The Tale of Timmy Tiptoes - Beatrix Potter

The Tale of Mr. Tod - Beatrix Potter

The Tale of Pigling Bland - Beatrix Potter

The Tale of Johnny Town-Mouse - Beatrix Potter

The Tale of Little Pig Robinson - Beatrix Potter

Appley Dapply's Nursery Rhymes - Beatrix Potter

Celily Parsley's Nursery Rhymes - Beatrix Potter

Winnie-the-Pooh and some Bees - A.A.Milne

Pooh Goes Visiting & Pooh and Piglet nearly catch a Woozle - A.A.Milne

Owl becomes and author - A.A.Milne

Eeyore has a birthday - A.A.Milne

Kanga and Baby Roo Come to the Forest - A.A.Milne

An Expotition to the North Pole - A.A.Milne

Piglet is entirely surrounded by water - A.A.Milne

Christopher Robin gives a Party - A.A.Milne

Eeyore loses a tail - A.A.Milne

A House is Built at Pooh Corner - A.A.Milne

Tigger comes to the Forest - A.A.Milne

A Search is organdized - A.A.Milne

Tiggers don't climb trees - A.A.Milne

Rabbit has a busy day - A.A.Milne

Pooh invents a new game - A.A.Milne

Tigger is unbounced - A.A.Milne

Piglet does a very grand thing - A.A.Milne

Eeyore finds the Wolery - A.A.Milne

Christopher Robin and Pooh come to an enchanted place - A.A.Milne

Pooh's Poems - A.A.Milne

Christopher Robin returns to the Forest - David Benedictus

The Spelling Bee - David Benedictus

Rabbit organises almost everything - David Benedictus

It Stops raining for ever - David Benedictus

Pooh goes in search of honey - David Benedictus

Owl becomes an author - David Benedictusk

Everybody learns something - David Benedictus

The Game of Cricket - David Benedictus

Tigger Dreams of Africa - David Benedictus

The Harvest Festival - David Benedictus

Yellow Submarine - The Beatles

The Answer - Rebecca Sugar

Guide to the Crystal Gems - Rebecca Sugar

Keep Beach City Weird - Matt Burnett and Ben Levin

Young Zaphod Plays It Safe - Douglas Adams

Vampire Mountain - Darren Shan

Trials of Death - Darren Shan

The Vampire Prince - Darren Shan

Coraline - Neil Gaiman

Cycle of the Werewolf - Stephen King

The Graveyard Book - Neil Gaiman

Troll Bridge - Terry Pratchett

Turntables of the Night- Terry Pratchett

The Sea and Little Fishes- Terry Pratchet

Hunters of the Dark - Darren Shan

Escape from Bloodcastle - Jenny Tyler

Curse of the Lost Idol - Gaby Waters

The Incredible Dinosaur Experdition - Karen Dolby

Time Train to Ancient Rome - Gaby Waters

Agent Arthur's Jungle Journey - Martin Oliver

Agent Arthur on the Stormy Seas - Martin Oliver

The Ghost in the Mirror - Karen Dolby

Agent Arthur's Artic Adventure - Martin Oliver

Journey to the Lost Temple - Susannah Leigh

The Pyramid Plot - Justin Somper

The Emerald Conspiracy - Mark Fowler

Mutiny at Crossbones Bay - Mark Burgess

Jonathan Livingston Seagull - Richard Bach

A Day with Wibur Robinson - William Joyce

Allies of the Night - Darren Shan

Killers of the Dawn - Darren Shan

Animal Farm - George Orwell

The Phantom Tollbooth - Norton Juster

The Necrophiliac - Gabrielle Wittkop

Red Dwarf Log No. 1996 - Paul Alexander

Never Say Boo to a Ghost - John Foster and Korky Paul

The Wild Robot - Peter Brown

Wacky Wednesday - Dr. Seuss

I Wish I had Duck Feet - Dr. Seuss

Ten Apples up on Top - Dr. Seuss

Scrambled Eggs Super! - Dr. Seuss

One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish - Dr. Seuss

The Sneetches and Other Stories - Dr. Seuss

Hop on Pop - Dr. Seuss

The Larax - Dr. Seuss

I Can Read with My Eyes Shut! - Dr. Seuss

The Tales of Beedle the Bard - J.K.Rowling

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them - J.K.Rowling

Quidditch Through the Ages - J.K.Rowling

The Lake of Souls - Darren Shan

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sahsalart · 2 years ago

Text

Designed my Resident Evil OC for Death Island, bought it the second it came out and I haven’t stopped watching it since. Meet my baby girl, Eunjoo Chandoo-Arnáz. Agent of the DOS (and wifey of Mr. Kennedy), She is very much so Mommy. I just had to draw my gorgeous girl for the movie. She is a native of Haiti, born to a South Korean mother and a half-Haitian/half-Puerto Rican father. In the drawing and during the events of Death Island, she is 32 — making her the youngest of the group. But, she also is the only mother out of the group! She has fraternal twins with — the cherry of it all — Leon S. Kennedy himself. Yes, they are a couple cuz Leon is just so <333

I mean look at her and then look at Leon, they are just tooooooo good to not be the ultimate baddddie couple. She is meowmy <3 and great news for baby boy Leon, she actually cares about him and tries not to get him killed or betray him!!!!!!!!

Some fun facts about Eunjoo:

- She is highly trained in several forms of martial arts, but her main art forms of combat are Heihuquan, Capoeira, and Hapkido. Her fighting style is very aggressive with powerful, tiger-like strikes yet is balanced by eloquent, graceful leg movements. Her father was a martial artist that has competed in several competition throughout the Caribbean and South America, he has won several national championships and titles.

- Going in hand her martial arts background, she is extremely flexible and acrobatic. In her youth, she was a renowned local gymnast in her hometown.

- Eunjoo stands only at 5 feet and 3 inches, same height as Rebecca Chambers.

- Her signature combat gloves not only serve for great gripping, but have long, indestructible claws that can be used to slice and sever through anything. The claws itself are made with Tungsten metal reinforced with carbon fiber materials and are retractable.

- Her native language is Haitian Creole but she can speak/read/write in a multitude of languages including, Korean (her second language), Spanish, English, French, Italian, Portuguese, and German.

-Eunjoo was originally a Haitian-police recruit that came into contact with a strain of the G-Virus after a small group of ex-Umbrella Scientists, who sought refuge in Haiti, unleashed the virus on a remote base she was stationed at. There, she was forced to kill several of her friends and allies as she fought to survive the night. The US Military, who had been secretly tracking the scientists intervened but were too late to stop the devastation. Eunjoo had managed solely to find the scientists along with their lab that was located underneath the base, killing the scientists (now mutated after injecting themselves with the G-Virus) and destroying the virus. The US Military later coerced Eunjoo into joining them under the guides of being able to protect her family from future biohazard outbreaks.

- At age 18, she started training under the USA’s military.

- At age 19, she met Leon. Their meeting was one that happened accidentally, however they both knew of each other’s history with the G-virus.

- At age 21, just days after her birthday, she accompanied Leon on his operation to Spain to rescue Ashley.

- Her date of birth is 8/13/1983.

Enjoy!

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