#He is in a very abnormal situation and he is sick and he doesn’t know how else to beg for someone to help him

[proudfreakmetarusonikku]

god it just fucking fascinated me that c!tommy projects the exact opposite flaws to what he actually has as a defence mechanism. he acts overly cocky and arrogant, but he’s got no self esteem and hates himself. he acts selfish and overbearing, but he’s a self sacrificing people pleaser. he childishly insists he’s a big man, while deep down he's surprisingly mature in a lot of aspects and sees himself as so worthless he'll cling onto someone he is fully aware is torturing him if they'll be kind to him. he acts violent and aggressive, but he's most violent with himself, and shuts down into an extreme fawn instinct while pressed. the only thing the same is that they’re both reckless and impulsive.

and it works! because it’s so obvious his persona is covering up his insecurities! and more than that, the traits he pretends to have to protect himself and the traits he has when he lets the mask slip come from the same obvious roots. both the angry, cocky false tommy and the scared, self-loathing real tommy are the same cheerfully obnoxious, deliberately bratty, iron willed and deep down very kind person. and more than that- while you’d think the careless persona he presents is more flawed than the deeply self loathing one, it isn’t. c!tommy's difficulty finding an identity for himself and being so willing to die he doesn’t bother to live caused more harm to everyone on the server than the stuff he deliberately caused. it’s just easier to demonise him for one than acknowledge the suffering and need for help of the other, and therefore the underlying issue is never fixed.

and like! that’s how mentally ill and traumatised young people act! which c!tommy was even at the very beginning of the series he literally got his discs bc his self loathing was so bad he needed physical items to have something to convince him he was worth anything that’s canon! they build up walls of defences and lash out in a desperate attempt for reassurance because they’re too young to have realistically developed the tools to ask for help! behaviour like c!tommy's in adolescents is a cry for help, not cruelty, and i love how the series showed both the shell he built up to defend himself and the real reasons he desperately kept sending out that cry for help that everyone ignored.

[lovlidollie]

i would lovelovelove to hear more about crybaby!reader n rafe’s relationship. like how does he calm her down? music? kisses? food?

as for dollie, does he indulge in her girly lil actions sometimes? letting her put makeup on him/letting her put glitter on him, letting her paint his nails, baking w her?

love this so much nonnie, pls let me know if you meant something else !!! cw; ddlg themes for crybaby!reader ^_^

for crybaby, i think the easiest way to calm her down is through words + physical touch. rafe’s aim is to try and get her into subspace mainly so that she doesn’t have to deal with big girl feelings for a while. he knows her tells; she shrinks into herself, her eyes glaze over and aimlessly float around the place. she can’t stop her fingers from gravitating towards her puffy lips, imperceptible whines leaving her when she realises they’re not rafe’s.

he keeps his touch gentle, hands soft against her waist and jaw, and he makes sure to keep eye contact. “does m’girl wanna come out, hm? dad’s lil’ girl? y’know he’ll take care of you. doin’ sooo well f’him aren’t y’baby, yeahhh that’s right! attagirl, there she is.” if the situation allows it, he’s pulling her into his lap, hands under her armpits to pick her up just like a baby. he’d place kisses along her hairline, rubbing her back ever so carefully, like she’s this close to breaking. when her chin start to tremble and her eyes water, rafe coos out, “need ‘em? need daddy’s fingers? gotta tell him, baby, how’s he s’posed t’know otherwise, huh?” she’s nodding furiously, tears sloping down her heated cheeks. she’s trying to be good and patient, trying to wait for her dad to give her what she needs. “open up,” he soothes, thick thumb trailing itself over the flesh of her bottom lip, into the warmth of her mouth. she sinks into his lap, eyes rolling back and tongue wrapping around him immediately. crybaby whimpers, drool sliding down his hand like water. she doesn’t even notice how she’s humping his leg, rubbing so deliciously against rafe’s cock. “shhh— shh ‘s’okay, sweetheart, y’doin’ soooo good. dad’s got’ya.”

— putting her in timeout also works suspiciously well … but that’s smth for another day …

with dollie, i think he scowls n scoffs every time she brings up doing his makeup; he’s got a very toxic sense of masculinity (learned behaviour from ward me thinks). he’s absolutely sick of finding glitter in every single part of the house and he tries to calmly tell her to maybe “tone it down.” her crestfallen face and disappointed pout were enough for him to take back his words though, so now he just deals with top or kelce pointing out the random sparkles on his shirts. i don’t think he’d let her paint his nails outside of just like a manicure and clear top coat, BUT he will paint hers. mainly because wheezie made him do it a lot when she was growing up, so now he’s got abnormally good skills. he’d definitely be the type to seek out the little initial that dollie gets on her ring finger, and if it’s not there he’s forcing her to take a seat so he can put it there himself. another thing he does, is if he sees something that even remotely looks like a makeup product she’d be into, he’s purchasing it immediately. for example, a glittery eyeshadow palette with only shades of pink? the store’s lucky he didn’t buy them out completely.

he does bake with her !! they have little baking dates in their pajamas where they decide on what they wanna make, and then rafe does all the measuring whilst dollie does the mixing. they have some music playing in the background, sometimes a nostalgic movie, and dollie just rambles about her day n what she got up to :3 it’s just so soft and domesticated and UGH. other times dollie doesn’t let him do anything, especially if he’s just come back from work. she makes rafe sit at the island and watch as she twirls around the kitchen creating something from nothing, just for him.

— if she’s been begging for months on end about doing his makeup, rafe would maybe, maybe indulge her on her birthday. just on the one demand that no glitter is involved whatsoever.

[hanjisungslag]

attack on titan headcanons #9

## - when you get caught in a titans hand

genre - angst

pairing - aot x reader

word count -

warnings - none!

notes - can i still make a christmas post even though it’s january.. 💀

EREN JAEGER -

as soon as this man sees you, the love of his life, caught in a wretched titans hands, his fight or flight kicks in. and you know damn well it’s FIGHT. he drops everything at that very moment, no matter to rescue your dumbass.

erens minding his business, doing what he usually does with the levi squad preparing to transform and help at any given moment until he hears a familiar scream. he swiftly turns his head and sees your body trapped in a titans large hands - he immediately drops everything he’s doing with the levi squad and starts to make his way towards you QUICK.

levi and the rest of the squad turn to face eren but quickly realise he’s ran off somewhere, they all start screaming at him telling him to get his ass back over there but he doesn’t even hear them at this rate. he’s blinded by pure rage seeing the situation you’ve gotten yourself into.

he slices the titans nape with a war cry and snatches you out of its hands. he places you down gently and asks how the hell you ended up like that but, before you could answer the levi squad come over and take him away.

before he leaves, his squeezes your hand tightly.

MIKASA ACKERMAN -

this mf rescues you in two seconds FLAT. cmon now, even as a rookie they compared her to 100 soldiers, you’re more than safe in her hands.

she sees you tightly wrapped in a titans grasp, swoops in and rescues you immediately. while taking out several titans on the way, she swiftly takes down the titan and swoops you into her arms before you could land on the ground. as she rushes you back to safety somewhere she lectures you while on the verge of tears.

as she puts you down safely, she looks at you with tears still welling in her eyes. she gives you a stern look and says

“don’t you dare do that again. please.”

ARMIN ARLERT - 

poor baby gets so scared. he just thinks back to when he froze and he thought eren had died because of his cowardly attitude.

he cant do that again. he knows he’s not a coward and it’s time to show himself and you that he’s not. although, he’s not confident to take on a titan by himself so, he comes up with a very quick and witty way to get you out of that titans grasp.

he asks jean to help him with his plan and then get you out of there. thankfully, you held up the titan with your kicking and slicing of its fingers.

jean takes down the titan as armin takes you in his arms. he keeps flying until you’re somewhere safe and secluded, he takes this brief moment to take you into his arms. he takes in your scent as you embrace.

he thinks about how he could’ve lost this. thank god he didn’t.

SASHA BRAUS -

although she may be a bit of a goof, if your life is in danger she’s not messing around. she’s getting you out of that situation, FAST.

her mind is moving as fast as her body (for once).

sasha suddenly noticed that you’re not flying next to her anymore, her concerns grow quicker by the second. when did this happen? how long have you been gone?

she scans the area with pace, asking everyone in sight where you were then, she swung her head and saw a familiar person about to get eaten by a titan. she jumps into action, making her way towards you with speed, avoiding all obstacles that stood between you and her.

she slices the titans nape with ease and brings you back down.

“don’t scare me like that!”

CONNIE SPRINGER -

he gets so scared when he sees you in that situation, it makes him sick to his stomach. but once again, he is not going to mess around when you’re in danger.

although he has this horrid feeling rushing through his body and his head is pulsing from the stress of it all, he’ll come and save you immediately.

connie patrols the area, making sure it’s clear of titans, there he spots an abnormal chasing someone down the streets and it was… you?! it seems you had run out of gas. connie makes his way over the rooftops fast even faster than when keith makes him run laps.

he takes down the abnormal and scoops you back up taking you to the nearest station to refill your gas.

JEAN KIRSTEIN -

never seen that man move faster or kill a titan faster. he’s filled with pure adrenaline, the attack was quick witted and slightly blinded by rage/love. but it all adds up to saving you as quick as he could.

all he sees is you in a titans hands out of all places, the world around him is blurred as he makes his way to you and FAST. he’s slashes the titan nape deep as you catch yourself and carefully lower yourself to the ground to take a breather. he stands over the titan looking down on its lifeless body, he’s so disgusted that it touched you. he quickly makes his way over to you and his face that was filled with rage two seconds ago turned to a face of concern. he places a hand on your back.

“are you okay?! you’re not hurt are you? don’t run off on your own next time.”

REINER BRAUN -

comes after you IMMEDIATELY, his body moves before he can even think straight seeing you like that.. wrapped in a titans dirty fingers. only titan that should be grappling you like that is him🙄.

this man is lucky he’s so good at what he does because the way he was blinded by so much rage, he’d end up like eren in that situation if it wasn’t for his immense skills. though, he quickly realises that he needs to calm down and snap into action to save you, which he does diligently (of course).

he pats you down quickly as he examines you to make sure you’re not hurt and gives you a quick kiss on the forehead. you guys make your way back to the rest of the group with him keeping a verryyy close eye on you.

BERTOLT HOOVER -

this man is so FUCKING terrified, he’s almost on the verges of tears when he sees you like that. he couldn’t think of anything worse to witness.

he speeds off to go rescue you as the tears fall of his face into the strong winds and right behind him is reiner, knowing he’d need someone whether to help him rescue you or just emotional support.

as bertolt comes in and rescues you, reiner is behind him making sure no other titans try to ambush you guys. the process is quick and you’re out of there in no time. he squeezed your hand tightly as you take a slight breather but, you cant stay for long, you had to get back to fighting even more titans.

after it’s all over, he genuinely has an existential crisis about his own identity after this incident…

what if he causes you harm while in titan form? he could never live with himself if he did such a thing. i suppose it’s not something to think about yet.

ANNIE LEONHART -

rescues you in a heartbeat, you barely even realised you nearly got eaten by a titan because it all happened so fast😭.

i swear the same second that titan even TOUCHED you.. you were suddenly in annie’s arms, like what the flip? she takes down the titan swiftly, grabs you and puts you back down on the ground. you stand in shock trying to process what just happened as she looks at you, deadpan.

she sighs “i suppose we have some training to do when we get back.”

LEVI ACKERMAN -

pfft, cmon now. saving you is another day in the life really, isn’t it? this is levi flipping ackerman, humanity’s strongest soldier.

the titan didn’t even have a chance to grab you in the first place. he just sees it going for you before you even notice yourself, he slices it’s nape with precision and catches you and all! he sets you down and quickly scans the area before he grabs you, pulling you into his arms.. his nails dig into your clothes.

“i’m not letting what happened to them happen to you.”

ERWIN SMITH -

as the commander, he’s got a lot of duties to keep up with not including making sure his soldiers stay alive *ahem* but you’re not any soldier so!

he has no time to rescue you himself but trust me, someone close to him will be picking you up right away and whisking you off right next to him so he can see you’re safe and also give you a lecture.

however, if desperate times call for desperate measures he would leave his position for a split second to come save you, pat you down, make sure you’re okay and then dip again.

an unfamiliar hand whisks you away from your near death experience and places you right next to the one and only, erwin smith. he looks at you closely and pats you down as he says,

“well you don’t seem hurt, are you? you’re going to be staying beside me for the rest of this expedition.”

HANGE ZOË -

drops whatever they’re doing for you even if they’re doing their like deputy work, they’ll call someone to take over their position (could be an average soldier, causing great confusion).

no no no, hange saw you locked in that titan’s grasp and immediately springs into action. she taps the shoulder of a nearby soldier and said “hey! can you just- yeah, just stay right there” as they grab them putting them in their place next to erwin.

erwin eventually turns around and sees an awkward soldier waving at him instead of hange. he sighs.

while that’s happening, hange is flying through the forest chasing after you. they take down the titan and take you to a nearby branch. they frantically spin you around, making you dizzy in the process, making sure you’re not hurt. you did have some cuts on your legs due to you being squished with your swords beside you.

hange realises this and whips out a random roll of bandage from their pocket (?) they patch you back up and after they’re done asking if you’re okay, is the bandage too tight etc they eventually start talking about the ‘rush’.

“WOO!! IM SO FULL OF ADRENALINE RIGHT NOW, WOW.”

[erimeows]

The Game That We Play

When Shizune and Shikamaru fall sick in the same week, Kakashi requests Naruto and Sasuke to accompany him as bodyguards to The Land of Iron for the summit. Everyone else is far too busy doing important work in the village for Kakashi to bother them- or, that’s what Kakashi claims. Sasuke swears the man just loves shoving him and Naruto together whenever he can. 

Sasuke is surprised to receive the request in code via carrier pigeon during a long mission in Ame, but he doesn’t question it. Kakashi has done a lot for him- protecting him throughout his childhood, doing everything he could to get Sasuke pardoned, and now, allowing Sasuke to atone for his sins by working outside of the village… Sasuke owes him a lot. The simple task of getting Kakashi to and from the summit in one piece is nothing compared to everything Kakashi has gone through for him. 

So, Sasuke makes the long journey back to Konoha so he can meet Kakashi and Naruto at the village gates. Naruto looks all too happy to see Sasuke, embracing the ravenette in a tight hug the moment he arrives. Sasuke pretends not to enjoy the attention. It’s a game they play- Naruto loves Sasuke far more than he should, and Sasuke acts as if he doesn’t notice even though he returns Naruto’s feelings tenfold. Each time they’ve reunited since the war, the game seems to go a little further. Neither of them say anything. But as much as everyone likes to imply it, Naruto isn’t stupid. 

They walk a long time. It takes a few days to get from Konoha to The Land of Iron, so after traveling from first thing in the morning well into that night, they set up camp in a nearby cave between the two lands. Sasuke knows that they’re getting close to the midpoint due to the cooler weather. 

Kakashi, with a copy of Icha Icha in hand, bows out into their tent for the night, stating that he’s going to go to sleep. For whatever reason, Sasuke doubts that.

With Kakashi ‘sleeping’, it’s just Naruto and Sasuke in the cave. Alone. Very alone. No Sakura or Shikamaru or whoever else to cut through some of the tension between them. Sasuke feels something that he’s only ever felt around Naruto, hot and warm and familiar, bubbling up just beneath the surface of his skin. Affection, fondness. Friendship. That’s what they call it, anyway. It’s easier to mislabel things. 

The two men sit across from each other, a shittily made campfire the only thing keeping them apart. It sits in front of Sasuke’s sandal-clad feet. The light it emits bathes Naruto’s face in an oddly flattering orange glow. 

“What’cha staring at?” Naruto asks, tilting his head. In his left hand he holds a skewer with a piece of seasoned meat on it. He burns it by holding it too close to the center of the flame as he plays dumb. As if he doesn’t know what he’s doing to Sasuke… Well, maybe he doesn’t. No, no, he definitely does. He’s not nearly as stupid as everyone thinks he is. “Do I have something on my face or… Something?”

Sasuke shakes his head. But instead of looking away with a blush, instead of staying silent and moving on to the next thing like neither of them have any idea what their feelings are, he acknowledges it aloud for the first time. He doesn’t know why he does it. 

“You know what it is,” Sasuke murmurs before adding on- “Stupid.”

And Naruto- sweet, easygoing, stupid Naruto- laughs and tilts his head. 

“What, you wanting to talk for once?” Naruto practically chuckles the words out. Sasuke shakes his head again. “Thought so.”

Sasuke looks for an escape to the situation- there’s a ravine right outside the cave that they’re in. It’s running with clear, clean water and they traveled a long ways- a nice, cool bath is what Sasuke needs right now.

“I’m going to go take a bath.”

“Oh, I should come, too!” Naruto says, standing up and gathering a change of clothes. 

Them bathing together isn’t… Completely abnormal. Despite how it makes Sasuke’s heart race, there have been times on missions where it’s been necessary. What is odd is leaving Kakashi completely unguarded.

“What about Kakashi?”

“C’mon, we both know he’s still up in there reading those boring books of his,” Naruto argues, and then calls back towards the tent. “Hey, Kakashi! You good if we go take a bath!?”

“Yes, yes, go on ahead,” Kakashi calls back from inside the tent. “I was going to stay up a tad bit longer anyway. This edition is just so good!”

Naruto turns back to Sasuke.

“Told ya.”

So, they go to the ravine together, walking side by side, both of them with a change of clean clothes, towels, and washcloths in hand. They undress without looking at each other- or, Sasuke thinks they do. He doesn’t look, though he can never be sure about Naruto. Part of him is terrified that he’ll look at Naruto and meet those big blue eyes of his. The other part of him is terrified that he’ll look at Naruto, only for Naruto to not be looking back at him. He isn’t sure which would be worse, and he doesn’t want to find out, so he doesn’t look, even as he hears Naruto haphazardly toss his clothes onto some nearby grass. Sasuke neatly folds up his own clothes and places them atop a large rock.

“Hey,” Naruto speaks up as they sit in the ravine, washing themselves with the fresh water. Sasuke glances up to see that Naruto is, in fact, looking at him. He shamelessly stares back, awe and fire consuming him from head to toe even though the water is ice cold. Naruto’s skin is sunkissed, glowing under the moonlight and noticeably unscathed for a ninja, unlike Sasuke’s which is mapped with scars. “Remember that time we kissed?”

“Which time?” Sasuke murmurs with red cheeks.

“At the academy.”

“Oh,” Sasuke nods. “Yeah. What, wanna do it again?”

There’s a pause, and for a moment, Sasuke wonders if he’s made Naruto uncomfortable- if he’s taken this game too far. But then, he looks over at Naruto to see the man nod.

Sasuke moves- perhaps faster than what is safe in this environment- and catches Naruto by the wrist. They lean in, the warmth of their bodies about to collide when-

“Hey!” Kakashi’s voice calls from the cave. Sasuke and Naruto jump away from each other instantaneously. “Hurry up, you two, I’m going to bed!”

“Heh,” Naruto laughs. “Maybe later.”

As fast as it happened, Naruto is out of the ravine and getting dressed- and then, he’s gone.

~

They arrive at the summit a day and some after their shared bath in the ravine. They’re around countless samurai and other ninja, in an environment far less intimate than that cave or that ravine. Sasuke isn’t sure whether he should be disappointed or relieved.

They sit in the back, watching as the kage discuss different events that have happened since their last summit the year before. Ever since the war, the kage have started meeting annually in an attempt to nip any conflicts in the bud, lest they turn against each other again. Sasuke doesn’t believe it will work for long, but it’s what Kakashi has decided is best, and Sasuke trusts him. 

As the other kage discuss a recent conflict in Suna, their respective guards whisper loudly about how Sasuke shouldn’t be there after what he did five years ago. Sasuke would argue that they’re right, but the prideful side of him wishes he could shut them up. He knows what they’re doing- whispering loudly enough for him to hear in an attempt to provoke him so he’ll never be welcome back if he lashes out at them again, so that he’ll have less of a chance of becoming Hokage. 

Naruto reaches over and places a hand on Sasuke’s shoulder.

And, as always, his touch calms Sasuke down immediately.

They manage to sit through the rest of the summit despite the cruel words of the others there. And then, they leave.

~

As it always goes on the rare occasions where they meet, Sasuke escorts Naruto (and Kakashi) home without a word. Though Naruto looks wistful as they exchange goodbyes at the village gates, he doesn’t dare say anything, instead turning away from Sasuke with a wave and walking with Kakashi in the direction of the Hokage Tower. Sasuke watches them with a smile.  Deep down, he knows that he and Naruto are going to play this game for the rest of their lives- and maybe, just maybe- he’s okay with that.

[fluffanonn]

When the Queen of the Sea has Nesting instincts chapter 2 part 2

Characters: Amphitrite + Poseidon + Kymopoleia

Summary: This follows chapter 2 part 1 here:

Kym is sick and so Amphi goes into full blow Mama bear. And Poseidon helps!

........

The next day Kymopoleia woke up not alone like she had been used to for years on end. But in the arms of the one person she avoided the most since coming back home.

She opens her eyes slowly, slowly taking in her surroundings. She’s still in the Nest, but she quickly realizes that Amphitrite isn’t here anymore and Kymopoleia makes an almost inaudible whine at the loss of comfort.

It has been heard though, and next thing she notices is a gentle hand rubbing her back. It feels different than her mother’s, it’s rougher, almost unsure if she’ll accept the affectionate gesture.

Kymopoleia turns quickly only to find out that she’s actually not lying on the soft bed, but cradled in her dad’s arms. The Sea God looks down at her and gives her a soft smile, it’s been such a long time since he got the privilege of holding her, he doesn’t want her to flee.

“Your Mother had to attend an important meeting, so I’m watching over you for now.” He explains as she merely looks at him puzzled, she stiffens a little bit when he pulls the fluffy blanket he had wrapped her in before she fell asleep over her shoulders.

But Poseidon tries not to take it too personally, although it does hurt him deep down.

“O-okay.”

They sit in silence for a few more minutes, neither one knows what to say about the situation. Kymopoleia hasn’t dared to move an inch from her father’s side, she doesn’t know what to do.

“How do you feel now, my little one?” He asks, still holding her, but his hands stay away from her body to give her some space if she feels uncomfortable. She turns slightly at the affectionate pet name she hasn’t heard from him in decades.

“Cold.” She responds, not making eye contact but not leaving his embrace either. She’s shivering now, but she didn’t want to seem like a burden when she’s already taking his attention away from Atlantis and its citizens.

But before she can react, she feels him reaching for the duvet and pulling it over her small frame. And he can’t help but bundle her into a firm but comforting embrace, he presses his bearded cheek onto her forehead and frowns when he feels the radiating warmth.

Having been a father for as long as he did, he was accustomed to taking care of sick children, but Kym wasn’t one to complain or ask for help. And as of right now, her body temperature is becoming concerning enough that he doesn’t waste time and simply cradles her into his arms and steps into the bathroom adjacent to their bedroom.

“Kym, you’re burning up, I need to lower it down.” He mutters to himself, because he doesn’t think she’ll respond to him anyway. But she whines softly. “Hurts.”

Sea deities normally have a very low body temperature compared to humans, their blood runs cold, so their bodies live comfortably at high depths. But when a young sea deity gets sick, the fever can harm them and might cause them to pass out or stay in a coma if they’re not taken straight to cold water.

“I know sweetie, it’s gonna be okay.” He told her. But taking a look at her, she’s very pale and her hair is an abnormally dull color now. Almost as if the colors left completely, which indicates the severity of the symptoms she’s facing now.

Poseidon is very thankful that she’s immortal, otherwise he would have gone straight up to Apollo for help. Which he had done back when Triton had been small and Amphitrite had left for a week.

He sets her down gently onto a chair next to their version of a bathtub, he holds her steady as she has trouble staying upright at this point. The bathroom looks like an underwater cave almost, the walls radiate a bioluminescent light throughout while the room is quite dark. There is a big surrounding pool of water that is also lit by the natural light. And the area seems to be in an air pocket. So when they do have demigod children staying over, they can have some areas where breathing underwater is not necessary and they can wash themselves comfortably.

Once she’s steady enough, he quickly goes towards the water and lowers the temperature down with his hand. It doesn’t need to be ice cold, but below five degrees is the right amount to relieve her fever. While still keeping an eye on his daughter.

Kymopoleia holds her head in both of her hands, she feels dizzy. She despises feeling like this and being overwhelmed and exhausted by the pain and discomfort she’s experiencing, she starts to cry softly.

She rubs at her tears trying to calm herself down, but they keep coming down her cheeks despite her will, the pool of water next to her trembles as her emotions run high and her frustration grows.

But before she cries once more, Poseidon takes her face into his hands, and rubs at her cheeks with his thumbs. Tears soak her eyes once more when she looks up to meet his gaze.

Not from the pain but because those eyes are so full of love and adoration and sheer protectiveness that she finally gives in and instinctively rushes forward into his arms.

“Papa.” She cries, wanting comfort in this moment of vulnerability. Poseidon doesn't have time to react when Kym presses herself against him, but he wraps his arms around her shaking form and holds her. “I’m here, little one. Papa’s here.”

His breath caught in his throat when she called him “Papa” again for the first time. His heart aches at the thought of her pulling away from him once she recovers. He allows himself to cherish this precious moment before it slips through his fingers again.

It’s not that Poseidon wants to let go of the hug right now, he doesn’t want to by any means especially if that’s the last one he gets from her in a long time, but he needs to get her into the water.

“We need to get into the water, little one.” He whispers as she holds onto him tighter. He smiles, but reluctantly starts to unwrap his arms from her. She shakes her head against his shoulder.

“Please stay.” Her grip tightens more around his tunic. “I don’t want to be alone.” She says crying once more. And it hits him how alone she must have felt for all these years. Partly because of him.

…..

Amphitrite finished her meeting a lot earlier than anticipated, she couldn’t stay focused while knowing that one of her babies is sick and hurt. She strode through the gardens fast, using her mermaid tail to swim because it’s faster.

The Queen of the Sea barely swam into the Palace when she felt that Kymopoleia was in distress. She passes the servants without acknowledging them and rushes to her rooms. But she looks around and doesn’t see her nor Poseidon.

She does see that the seahorse plush is still on the nest, and she sighs in relief, she fears that Kymopoleia might try to flee away from him since she’s been so isolated.

Before she finally gets to her daughter, she quickly roams through some of her clothes and grabs one of her silk nightgowns and a fluffy robe. It might help to calm Kymopoleia down to smell her mother’s scent, she thought.

She narrowed her eyes, scanning the room and trying to see if she might have missed them when coming in, but she wouldn’t have. But then she hears it. A very faint sound of crying from their bathroom.

Her heart shattered in her chest.“Kymopoleia.”

She didn’t waste more time and quickly changed forms for her more humanoid one, and followed the distressed sound and found her (their) daughter cradled in Poseidon’s arms. Her possessiveness comes through when her instincts are on high alert, but she pushes it aside since it’s her husband and not someone else holding her daughter.

“I’m not leaving you Kym. I promise.” She hears Poseidon saying to Kym, who hasn’t heard her mother arriving yet and is still cradled in his arms.

Poseidon is lucky to be her husband and the father of their children, otherwise, she would have gone feral upon hearing her child in distress.

Amphitrite enters in without announcing her presence. But Poseidon felt her and turned slightly, his eyes were filled with guilt and relief but also worry. She kneels close to them and puts the clothes she gathered on the stone floor of their underwater bathroom.

“My little pearl.” She whispers and Kym lifts her head and looks at her. Amphitrite reaches and places a comforting webbed hand on her warm cheek.”I’m here.”

And her stomach turns at the warmth.

Too warm.

“We need to lower her fever down quickly before it gets worse,” Amphitrite says as Poseidon loosens the grip Kym had on him moments prior. She doesn’t seem to register the change in her feverish state, but whimpers slightly when she loses the touch of either parent.

Amphitrite kisses her forehead gently, soothing her a little and Kym curls into her arms instinctively, feeling completely safe.

Poseidon lingers in the background though, looking around to try and find something that could help Kym feel better. But he doesn’t know exactly what to do as he watches Amphitrite do it with such ease and no resistance on their daughter’s end. It makes him sad.

Amphitrite turns and looks at the pool of water behind them and then back down at her daughter. Realizing what her husband intended to do. “Did you prepare the water?” She asks, her tone slightly authoritative compared to her normally sweet demeanor, she does trust her husband with their pups, but sometimes she gets a bit overprotective.

Poseidon nods. “I did, but she didn’t want to let go.”

Amphitrite, despite her nesting instincts instructing her to grab Kym into her arms and do everything herself, allows Poseidon to take over for now. She knows that they both need this and that Poseidon really wants to help.

She softened her grip she had on her pup. And nodded towards the nearby cabinet where she kept some of the remedies she had from her own Mother. “You’ll go with her then,” she says, her tone now gentle. “But first bring the seal kelp remedy from the cabinet.”

He’s moving before she even finished her sentence. And quickly finds the green glass vial in the cabinet and brings it back. He hands it out to Amphi who takes it into her webbed hand and before shifting her onto her hip so she can give her the medicine.

“Open up my love.” The young goddess makes a sad face at the sight of the medicine but does as she’s told and Amphitrite pours a few drops of the medicine into her mouth. Kym makes a face as she swallows and then nuzzles back into her mother’s neck.

Poseidon watches the interaction with envy. But then he tries to reach a hand to rub at Kym’s back, and to his surprise, she doesn’t resist or tense like she had done earlier.

After a few minutes, Amphitrite presses her hand onto Kym’s forehead and assesses the progress. “The medicine is working in stabilizing her enough so her core won’t be too affected by the heat.”

But the effects of the medication are slow and Kym still needs to be submerged into cold water to feel better. As promised, Amphitrite hands Kym to Poseidon who takes her in his arms gratefully. “Papa is going to get you into the water,” The Sea God adjusts his hold onto his daughter, but she watches her mom curiously, Amphitrite smiles softly at her in reassurance.

“I’ll be right here, my little pearl.” She promises, while pointing at the stone stairs leading into the pool. Kymopoleia turns and looks back at her father, white eyes staring into his. But she doesn’t move or resist his hold, she seems almost curious as to why he’s still here.

Despite her doubts, Poseidon holds her closer and starts to walk towards the water. Amphtitrite follows them behind and then takes a seat on the stone floor watching them interact.

“I’ve got you, little one.” He says as he stops walking into the pool once it hits Kymopoleia’s shoulders. As soon as the water touches her hair, it starts glowing with bright colors of jellyfish tendrils. The young goddess sighs in relief as her body temperature adjusts to the water. Poseidon then cups a handful of it and gently wets her head too without having her go under in her weakened state. And her face starts regaining some color while remaining naturally pale.

Kymopoleia remains steady against him, not holding on as tight as she did moments prior, but comfortable and content. She stays quiet and purrs softly.

Poseidon savors every bit of his precious moment he never thought would happen with his youngest daughter. She always used to reject his affection even as a small child, she always seemed to prefer to be held by her mother, and when he tried to give her cuddles she would squirm away from his grasp, leaving him upset.

Amphitrite would watch sadly as she held onto their feisty little one. And would try to comfort him, saying that “It’s just a phase,” She had told him, running a gentle hand in his hair. “She will outgrow at some point.” He nodded then, but it hurt deep down.

But she never did outgrow her lack of affection towards him. Rather, avoiding his presence, and even Amphi most of the time as she became the equivalent of a teenage Goddess.

Until that fateful day when the abalone shell column surrounding their Home fell, and the fear in Rhode’s eyes when Kym had started causing a storm inside. Amphitrite is trying to calm everyone down, Benth is sitting at the table in shock after he had said that he regretted creating her. In his anger, he didn’t realize the pain he caused her to be rejected outright. Even though it wasn’t her fault if she had inherited the worst parts of himself.

The frustration that built over time consumed him and he had allowed himself to go past the breaking point and outworldly rejected her when all he wanted was to be close to the child he carried himself.

As they remain surrounded by the water, he holds her tighter now, hoping that by showing his love, she’ll see how badly he regrets everything and how much he missed her.

“I’m so sorry Kym, I hope that one day you’ll forgive me.”

He doesn’t expect a verbal response from her, because she usually gives him none despite his best efforts. But then he feels her moving almost imperceptibly, and she grabs his tunic tight once more and nuzzles deeper into his chest.

He sighs softly, he feels her hesitation but he cherishes that first step beyond words. “I love you, my little storm.” He whispers into her heart as he kisses her temple.

He starts moving again, in the water since now he feels that her body is a lot less warm than before. Poseidon quietly makes his way back towards Amphitrite who’s standing holding the clean clothes she had brought earlier, when he hears it.

“I love you too Papa.”

Her voice was quiet and muffled against his chest but he heard. He looks over at Amphitrite and their eyes meet. The Queen of the Sea smiles softly.

Poseidon doesn’t want to smother her too much with his affection so he merely holds the back of her head tenderly. But he longs for the day she might come to him freely like her sisters do.

He stands beside them, unsure if he was still needed, but prepared if the need arises. For now, he gives her back to Amphitrite who helps keep her steady and wraps her in a fluffy towel.

“Let me help you, my love.” She says as she watches Kym struggling to get dressed, and the young goddess huffs in frustration as she tries to pull the dress over herself but has to take breaks between her attempts.

Amphitrite smiles as she helps her slip into the night gown she prepared and then into the fluffy robe. It’s no secret that she loves taking care of her little ones. Even more so when they’re sick and more willing to cuddle and let her baby them. “There we go.” She says gently, smoothing down Kym’s long hair gently, as her little pearl yawns quietly and rubs at her eyes afterwards.

She catches a glimpse of Poseidon standing slightly apart from them, longing. And then she gets an idea on how to include him. “Would you like to take a nap with Papa next to my little pearl?”

Kymopoleia doesn’t answer immediately, and Poseidon starts to brace himself for rejection. But then, she nods looking at Amphitrite. She smiles at her and nudges her towards her father, “Go on then, my love.” Poseidon smiles softly as she slowly walks up to him, her step is hesitant but she doesn’t flee.

Once she’s near his reach, he instinctively pulls her back into his arms, since she seemed to wobble a bit because of the dizziness. Kym doesn’t protest and wraps her arms around his neck.

“You’re doing great!” He hears Amphitrite saying through their telepathic bond.

He tucks her in carefully into the nest, and gives her beloved seahorse, before he slides in next to her. He keeps a bit of space between them, even though he wants nothing more than to hold her close. Kymopoleia falls asleep quickly, holding her seahorse, while Poseidon keeps an eye on her. He also could use a nap.

Amphitrite smiles at them both and goes to fetch some more potions, just in case Kym might need them once the symptoms start to change.

[joesalw]

I absolutely feel for both Joe and Kayla (Travis’s ex). Joe isn’t a social media person, but Kayla is. That’s her job. You know she sees those comments Swifties make. (Even media in general. When all this was starting, there was a Chiefs fan being interviewed about TnT and he said “Well, I’m just glad he finally found a nice girl.” What wasn’t nice about Kayla? Huh? Say what you actually mean, dude!) She even made a post before TTPD dropped literally begging to be left alone. And, honestly, this whole situation reminds me of Meghan and Harry almost, expect Kayla doesn’t have Travis by her side to defend her against the harassment and “give up his place in line for the crown.” She’s literally on her own. It breaks my heart. I don’t want to wake up one morning to see it’s gone too far.

Yes omg I feel so bad for Kayla Nicole. Swifties have been so racist and disgusting towards her. You know for Joe it's better because he doesn’t read what people say about him, his ig comments are off. But kayla is a very online person and so she's reading the bunch of weird stuff these swifties are saying about her clothes, body, face and skin color like it genuinely makes me feel nauseous how horrible it is! And Joe also has his own separate fans like us who can clap back for the harassment, but idk if Kayla has her own and that makes it more unfair about the power imbalance. It’s so sick. She genuinely wants to be excluded from this drama but swifties are always under her comments showing their abnormal obsession.

[dewedup]

would you be so kind as to provide us with a Mountain sick-fic bc I have the Flu and I'm projecting on my tall guy 😔🙏

please enjoy sick!Mount, pack dynamics, tour travel, and a concerned Zephyr 🖤🖤🖤

as per usual a huge and loving thank you to @jimothybarnes for betaing and making me feel like I wrote the next great novel 🥰

(i may or may not have started a part two of possessive mount breaking zeph's heat when he's feeling better, it ties into the ending of this one so if that's something anyone's interested in reading let me know!)

1.8k of fluff, comfort and cuteness below the cut or on AO3 HERE

It starts with a tickle in the back of his throat. Mountain finds himself clearing it periodically throughout the day, but never getting rid of the foreign feeling when he swallows. It’s a small thing though, something he can push to the back of his mind while he focuses on sound checks, travelling and performing- basically everything related to being on tour.

He wakes up a day or two later and feels exhausted. His bones ache, his brain is foggy, the cold grip of a headache approaching from the edge of his consciousness. The tickle has doubled down in its presence, now tender and sore with every breath, word, or swallow. He feels like getting hit by a vehicle on the highway they’re driving down would be swifter and less painful than the illness working its way through his immune system.

He’s like a zombie, sleepwalking through the motions. Luckily, it’s just a travel day, spent moving from their last location to the next venue. He’s stuck on the bus for the entirety of the day, tries to spend time out in the lounge area with everyone else. But Phantom is loud and overly excited, peering through the window in utter delight as he points out the unofficial eighth wonder of the world.

They’re driving past the Grand Canyon, which honestly isn’t that grand, Mountain’s seen bigger canyons in Hell. Being a ghoul of the earth means he’s very fluent in geographic abnormalities, erosion and rocks. Instead of giving Phantom a lesson in his rocky background, which Swiss seems to be anticipating, if the roll of his eyes as he looks at Mountain is any indication, Mountain simply pats Phantom on the shoulder. He mutters good ghoul under his breath, and retreats to the sleeping bunks.

His rest is pitiful, he’s hot and sweaty, then he’s kicking the blankets off only to be greeted with a chill that seeps into his bones, limbs shaking at the abrupt changes in temperature. He never succumbs to complete sleep, lingering in a half-state of lethargy and just feeling poorly.

It might be minutes, hours or days later, when he feels a cool hand press against his forehead. He’s hallucinating now, because it feels like the hand of his mate, the same one that’s still at home, a disgusting amount of distance between them. He knows it’s not real, their sweet scent of licorice and fresh linen doesn’t fill his nostrils. But then again, he’s pretty congested, hasn’t been able to smell anything in the last day and a half.

Mountain whines as the touch moves from his forehead, shifting down to his equally heated cheek and offering the tiniest bit of respite from the fever. He’s sweating again, wants to rip his own skin off to escape the burning inside of him, when a light breeze seemingly appears from nowhere. It dances across his body, giving him the first sense of relief since he laid down in his bunk.

“Pietra,” the demon caressing his face coos, and Mountain truly must have died and went to Hell, because there’s only one soul who calls him the Italian word for stone.

He squints open an eye, meeting the concerned face of his mate.

“Zeph?” Mountain’s voice wobbles, cracking on the singular word, as tears threaten to fall. Zephyr takes a second to assess their situation before climbing right into the bunk beside Mountain, pulling their mate close.

Mountain rests his head on Zephyr’s chest as he lets out a few pathetic sniffles, mainly just feeling sorry for himself.

“We’re at the hotel, love. The others went inside, they didn’t want to wake you. My flight landed early so I’ve been here for a bit, setting up our nest.”

Nest. That’s right, in Mountain’s deteriorated state he forgot Zephyr was scheduled to go into heat any day now. The Ministry opted long ago to pay for a flight for them if Mountain was away, rather than deal with an aggravated air ghoul who would take their frustrations out on the abbey and all who stumbled across their path.

If Mountain let out a few extra tears at the thought of his mate, already on edge from their own rising hormones, putting their needs aside to care for him, well, neither of them speak on it.

Eventually, Zephyr convinces Mountain to leave the safety of the bunk and retreat to their hotel room. It involves a lot of gentle encouragement and a few filthy promises for when he’s feeling better. Mountain can’t smell anything, so he misses the slight bite to Zeph’s scent, the telltale sign of the beginning of a heat that they push down forcibly with sheer willpower, knowing Mountain is in no shape to fulfill their needs at this moment.

They share a bath, slightly hotter than Zephyr would prefer, but the steam helps to clear Mountain’s congested airways and the warmth soothing the aching in his bones. It’s intimate in a nonsexual way, how Zephyr lathers up a washcloth and takes their time rinsing the sweat and sickness from Mountain’s skin.

Mountain’s soon dry and in his pyjamas, a steady hand at the small of his back guiding him to the bed in the centre of the hotel room. True to their word, Zephyr had created a fine nest, bringing blankets from their den at home to create a soft spot for them to connect with each other. Mountain falls into the pile, burrowing his way to the perfect spot and collapsing into the down pillows.

Zephyr seamlessly joins Mountain, wrapping their arms around him in a big spoon position. It is something Mountain usually takes up in their shared bed, but his need for comfort is apparent and Zephyr isn’t too put out by getting to hold their mate in their arms like this.

Mountain falls asleep to the soft hums vibrating from Zephyr’s chest, his own purrs mixing in at the same tempo, every single part of their being made for each other.

_________

Mountain wakes up, lying awkwardly on a couch too small for his big frame. He’s confused, disoriented, and doesn’t remember where he is for far longer than he’d like to admit.

His brain feels foggy, his eyes landing on a bottle of water left on the table in front of him, the condensation having dripped to the table, creating a small puddle of liquid around the container.

The bottle brings back the memory of Zephyr braiding his hair on this very couch, enthusiastically agreeing with Rain as the water ghoul tried to force some cold medication in Mountain’s mouth. He remembers putting up a good struggle, managing to knock Rain back a few steps before Dew intervened. With Zephyr yanking on his hair, tilting his head back and Dew lying on top of him, bodily restraining his movements, Rain was able to slide home a few of the abnormally large pills. Mountain fought valiantly, but Rain pulled a demonic move covering his mouth and pinching his nose until he was forced to swallow, begrudgingly and with a promise of murder in his eyes. 

Apparently, the cold medication was exactly what he needed. While he isn’t at one hundred percent, he feels the best he can remember feeling for the last week. His achy bones are no more, and he can even breathe through his nose a little, picking up the lingering scent of his mate all over his body.

A loud noise from out the hallway catches his attention, and Mountain realizes that he had the best nap of his life in the green room of the venue they were set to perform at tonight.

Except, no one else is hustling around in the usual pre-show panic.

The green room is usually filled with excitement and adrenaline, packed with bodies, as Swiss hogs the mirror to apply his black lipstick. But it’s empty, the remnants of the pre-show hurricane evident.

Mountain hears the opening rift of Kaisarion and bolts up from the couch, looking around wildly for his costume, but it’s nowhere to be found. He can’t believe they didn’t wake him up, what the actual fuck is going on. 

He gets to the side of the stage much quicker than he would have in the state he was mere hours ago, looking out from the wings as his band feeds the energy to the crowd before them.

His eyes shift over his pack, watching as they back up Papa who’s already pandering to the sea of people. A crash of cymbals pulls his attention to the back middle stage, to his drum set.

It’s like a punch to his gut, but in the best way possible, seeing who is undeniably his mate, in his costume, playing his kit.

Zephyr isn’t a small statured ghoul by any means, it’s just that Mountain’s well… Mountainous.

His costume fits his mate poorly, they’ve rolled the arms up, displaying the sleeves of delicate illustrations depicting the fall of Christ, ink woven in their skin that Mountain has spent countless hours admiring. The pant legs bunch up where they fall, too much extra material with nowhere else to go.

Mountain’s heart skips a beat when he realizes Zephyr is shoeless, exactly how he normally performs.

It shouldn’t surprise him that Zeph is a natural, they’ve spent long hours in the rehearsal room with Mountain, watching him work through tricky sections or just putting his own twist on Papa’s work. He’s filled with love, admiration, and just an all-around feeling of mine while watching his mate perform with his pack.

Mountain eventually just settles on the ground of the side stage, sitting cross-legged and just enjoying the show from his secret little viewpoint. He laughs along with the jokes Papa pulls out of his ass, his smile unshakeable as he watches Dew tease Rain from this angle. Swiss is chaotic, he usually only sees him leave his platform from the corner of his eye, unsure of what exactly the multi ghoul gets up to, but now he has his answers. He’s usually so focused on his own performance he doesn’t get the chance to just sit and watch the magic happen, and it is magical, the atmosphere they craft together and the beautiful music they create.

During Miasma, Zephyr opts out of a solo in favour of handing Dew and Phantom a drumstick each. Mountain grins wildly, watching lovingly as Zeph orchestrates with their free hands while keeping rhythm with the kick drum. They encourage Dew and Phantom to bang away at the snare and cymbals, Mountain cringing slightly at the force of some of the hits. A little wear and tear won’t tarnish the memory working its way into the deep recesses of his brain though, as the utter joy and happiness bubbles over into a delighted, trilling laugh when Zeph tosses him a smirk and secret little wave.

[goshdangronpa]

In SDR2, Ibuki Mioda bites the dust as a result of Monokuma’s latest diabolical motive, the Despair Disease. This element, and Chapter 3 as a whole, remain controversial in the fandom. I’ve seen quite a few YouTube videos proposing “fixes” for the storyline (TinyLeaf’s thoughtful rewrite comes to mind). Many fans think the whole motive is too nonsensical to be salvaged. I happen to find it interesting, and I’d like to keep it in "I DISAGREE: An Ibuki Mioda SDR2 Protag Swap AU" … with a few radical changes of my own.

Down with the Sickness: Starting the Game with Despair Disease

First, let’s review the basics of the Despair Disease. It’s …

A motive! One of Monokuma’s ways to push ordinarily non-homicidal teenagers into concocting and enacting fiendish murder plots. I’m not sure if I’ll invent any new ones for this AU. The ones currently in SDR2 really compel me. That said, I’m definitely not just copying and pasting them. AUs are for bold rethinking, and I’d like to twist this thing around and freshen things up.

More literally, a communicable illness. While symptoms include fevers and fatigue, the standout side effect is a major reversal of the sufferer’s personality. Some say it turns people into their exact opposite, which seems … a bit simplistic, but it’s a good starting point. It might be most accurate to say that the infected is definitely not acting like themself.

Well … a bit bullshit. I agree with many of the criticisms often leveled at this plot device. The drama of Danganronpa comes from thoroughly fleshed-out characters taking desperate actions based not just on their circumstances, but on who they are and what they value or stand for. A magical personality rewiring doesn’t keep with that. Still, there’s something spicy about characters suddenly becoming different, becoming unpredictable, losing control over themselves …

So yeah, I’m keeping it for this AU. But I’m not keeping Chapter 3 intact. This most contentious of Danganronpa plot points will actually move to the very beginning of the story!

Well, almost. The beats of the beginning will stay the same, with virtually the only differences being that Mikan wakes up Ibuki (who foams at the mouth and faints from the island reveal) and they meet everyone at the beach (besides Hajime, who passed out cold). This story still needs those precious few days before things start really going downhill. Time for characters to discuss their options over communal breakfasts, explore their surroundings, and grapple with the reality of their new nightmare lives. Time for them to get to know each other … but not much time at all.

One morning, a few of them are acting out. Granted, they all still think of each other as a little strange, but this erratic behavior seems different. It’s not long before Mikan Tsumiki notices that those classmates’ foreheads are running hot, and Monokuma finally confirms that the first motive is a contagious illness. He’s stingy with details, asserting that the Ultimate Nurse and all these other Hope’s Peak smarties can figure out the details. What he will reveal is that it’ll keep spreading until another life ends through less natural causes.

What a world of difference this rearrangement of events would make! Consider: by Chapter 3, the characters (and the player) already know each other well enough to recognize exactly what’s happening with the Despair Disease. They know to be weirded out by Akane’s nonstop weeping, Nagito’s baseless conspiracy theories, and Ibuki’s mindless obedience. At this early point, (almost) no one will know what to think of their infected classmates’ behavior. Is it that hysteria is a symptom, showing differently in each person? Is it just a normal psychological reaction to an abnormal situation, exacerbated by high body temperature? Is it … something else?

That’s what Mikan and her brave volunteers, including our plucky protag, will spend Chapter 1 investigating. One change cascades into an entirely fresh chapter, and those changes in turn will affect the entire narrative.

To be clear, I’m not doing any of this to “fix” SDR2 Chapter 3. It’s not like I think I’m fixing SDR2 by recasting another character as the main! This is all a creative exercise, a writer’s playtime between the boring day job and more serious personal projects. With that said, I wonder if Despair Disease haters might get something out of what comes from this decision. I’ll share more of this story next time.

PREV: The Major Side Characters

NEXT: The AU Narrative's Chaotic First Three Mornings

[1d1195]

Sam!! I’ve missed you this week!! Update time lol I’m not finished with finals yet (Thursdays my last one for this quarter!) BUT I WILL HAVE MORE FREE TIME FINALLY!!!

I’m sorry for worrying you :( never want to do that on purpose! Trust me I will give you a warning if I decide to leave permanently! I care too much about you and I highly respect you as a person to just suddenly never reappear! And i definitely get what you mean!!

How are you feeling now?! It sucks that your health hasn’t been the best either :( I’m pretty sure like the flu and general colds were pretty rough this year for anyone so at least it wasn’t something abnormal. Though I’m sorry it was so shit I can’t even imagine how crazy it must of been to be sick back to back. Hopefully you’re on the rise for recovery and overall well being! Also hope you didn’t fall too behind at work too! Were you able to bake a pie this year for Pi day?! How has it been for you overall?!

I say get that pedicure when the weather is warmer! Also not you being a Jake apologist 😭 I get it though lol

It was definitely an experience lol I didn’t think it was dramatic at all! If anything I think it’s really sweet how you checked in on me and how you do it with your other anons too! You did mention it and I think it’s so sweet 😭 my reviews are always just me expressing how much I love your work and you obviously! And trust me I’m always so sad when I can’t immediately read your posts :( but i never find it overwhelming or find it as some “chore” to do!! Bestie i love coming on here to read but also chatting with you💕

I know you’re not trying to minimize my feelings and it doesn’t come off that way at all! I understand what you mean and I appreciate how you’re trying to put a positive spin on the whole situation. I promise I don’t feel like bad about it if anything I really appreciate your thoughts! It’s very sweet of you! Things haven’t gone better but we will see lol Thank you for the well wishes it means a lot!! You know I love you💕💕-💜

Hiii!!!!! I've missed you too! Sorry for the delay in responding! Sending lots of good vibes for Thursday!!! FREE TIME HERE WE COME!!!!

You don't have to apologize for worrying me. My mom calls me Wemberly Worried (it's a children's book by Kevin Henkes--Wemberly worried everyone would wear stripes and also that no one would wear stripes) It's basically Baby's First Book of Anxiety and you can listen to it on YouTube if you feel so inclined or need a laugh about my longtime anxiety. ALL THIS TO SAY, I am going to worry regardless 💕 You are so kind and I adore you, I hope you never leave 😭

I don't want to jinx my health so please interpret that as appropriate!!!! (🎉) YES. Cold/Flu season is the WORST it's been in years. I think it's because everyone stopped wearing masks and stopped social-distancing and now people just cough on each other. I told all my classes they were gross and if they cough or sneeze on my desks lmk so I can wipe them down (weird I have to say that to high schoolers 🙃) I had a MASSIVELY productive Sunday 🎉 but I feel behind once more on Tuesday. I'm making a lesson for tomorrow as we speak because I don't like my old one lol. I did bake pie! My students appreciated it and everyone texted me like it was my birthday, it's so sweet tbh. Idk why this keeps coming up but my fear of being not remembered seems far-fetched on days like pi-day haha Work overall has been okay. March is long but halfway through. My fave student is going through it again with family stuff and I literally cried on my way home from school today. He's SO close to graduating. I just need to get him over the finish line. I feel like we're about to really go through the wringer and it just KILLS me that he's struggling 😔 BUT I'm going to be his cheerleader and we're going to graduate if I have to drag him across the stage myself. Otherwise work has been swell lol

I'm taking your advice on the pedicure and idk if I've ever told you this but I used to bite (GNAW) on my fingernails (see Wemberly above). I am happy to report I no longer bite my nails but I do some SERIOUS damage to my cuticles. So I need a manicure asap (but I may or may not have several bloody fingers rn so I gotta give it a week before i can show my face at the salon).

I actually loved the name Jacob and Jake so I think that ship has sailed myself. Besides, I think I have to be an apologist for most names due to teaching or I am literally going to be out of names to pick from by the time I have child.

Tell me more about your week? How are your finals going? Do you have plans for your free time? How's your mom? Any hot TAs or boys in general? Drag brunches in your future? Or maybe the symphony with your brother? How many more questions should I ask you???? 🙂

LOVE YOU SO SO MUCH HAVE A GREAT LAST FINAL!!!! 💕

xoxo

[herbofgraceandpeace]

Here’s the thing about Doomsday Book that I can’t stand. Kivrin is the dumbest person in the whole world, ever, in any century.

I’m supposed to believe that she was the “brightest and most resourceful” Oxford student? She can’t critical think for shit, if you’ll pardon my language. What do they teach them at these schools???

aside from her oddly specific areas of medical knowledge and ignorance (she has the symptoms of a bajillion diseases memorized, but she doesn’t know that being unconscious for several hours is totally abnormal and signifies serious brain damage?), she’s ridiculously ignorant about what the Middle Ages were actually like (and the author is at fault here for not knowing either).

but it’s really the critical thinking (or lack of it) that gets my goat. Her whole objective TWO-THIRDS OF THE WAY THROUGH THE BOOK has been to figure out where the drop is by getting Gawain to tell her. He has refused to do so BECAUSE SHE CANNOT BE TROUBLED RO INVENT A COMPELLING OR CONVINCING REASON FOR WANTING TO DO SO. She spends ages thinking of ways to get close enough to Gawain to ask but no time at all thinking of how to convince him to tell her!!!!

what’s worse, much of this could be solved if the author had simply thrown in the fact that Kivrin is a terrible liar, or has an aversion to lying, or even simply feels bad lying in this particular situation. Any of those would serve as an explanation for why she isn’t putting any thought into how to get what she wants from these people and keeps trying the same dumb thing over and over again. Like, girl, your life is at stake, can you be bothered to invest some energy into saving it???

also, it would be less annoying if she wasn’t supposed to be a particularly bright AND RESOURCEFUL AND PREPARED person!!! I do not know of anybody less resourceful!!! I don’t think I would mind so much if she tried to come up with solutions and failed . But she doesn’t even try most of the time, and the few times she does, she puts in the minimum effort to come up with a very silly excuse and is shocked when no one believes her.

it’s been really weird to dislike this book and it’s protagonists so much when I absolutely loved both in To Say Nothing of the Dog. Ned and Verity were far more resourceful and had more genuine reason to be befuddled by their circumstances!

SPOILERS BELOW

*john mulaney voice, “and now there’s bubonic plague again.”

But can Kivrin be bothered to think of a convincing lie to keep everyone away from the sick person? No, she just yells at them, ignoring the fact that from their perspective she lacks authority and expertise and even a sound mind.

Sigh

[goodnightmemes]

GONE GIRL (2014) SENTENCE STARTERS

❛ What have we done to each other? ❜

❛ I'm the guy to save you from all this awesomeness. ❜

❛ I think it's your chin. Yeah, it's quite villainous. ❜

❛ I have to kiss you now. ❜

❛ Life. I don't remember the point. ❜

❛ Go home, fuck her brains out, slap her with your penis. "There's some wood for you, bitch." ❜

❛ Now, I don't panic easily...but it's weird, right? ❜

❛ Should I be concerned? ❜

❛ I love your parents...but they really can be assholes. ❜

❛ I love having strangers pick at my scabs. ❜

❛ You have a world-class vagina. ❜

❛ We are gonna take this very, very seriously. ❜

❛ I feel like I'm on a Law & Order episode. ❜

❛ Should I know my wife's blood type? ❜

❛ Marriage is hard work, and compromise, and more work. ❜

❛ You naughty minx. ❜

❛ We're so cute. I wanna punch us in the face. ❜

❛ Everyone knows "complicated" is code for "bitch." ❜

❛ It seems like the kind of thing that would happen to [name]. ❜

❛ Just because I don't like to be around [name] doesn't mean I don't care about her. ❜

❛ Anyway, whoever took her is bound to bring her back. ❜

❛ Well, we have our first clue. ❜

❛ You've been up all night. You wanna look like you've been up all night. ❜

❛ Hey, be careful today, okay? ❜

❛ I'll balance on the exact fucking edge of your emotional razor. ❜

❛ I knew you never should have moved back here. ❜

❛ We are all worried. We are all scared. ❜

❛ We had to file a restraining order. ❜

❛ I'm hoping you can tell me what this means. ❜

❛ Hello, stranger. Fancy meeting you here. ❜

❛ Are you following me? ❜

❛ Promise me we'll never be like them. ❜

❛ If it happens, we'll deal with it. ❜

❛ We have each other. Everything else is background noise. ❜

❛ You don't trust me. You don't trust my judgment. ❜

❛ I don't get why you're daring me to be someone I don't wanna be. ❜

❛ You look like hammered shit. ❜

❛ You really don't like him, do you? ❜

❛ Could you please not share that with anyone? ❜

❛ It's like you're the goddamn Homecoming King. ❜

❛ It looked like you were having fun. ❜

❛ I am in a nightmare! ❜

❛ My God, this place literally smells like feces. ❜

❛ Hey...have you told me everything? ❜

❛ All I want is to come over here, have a beer with you, and not be judged. Can we do that? ❜

❛ I'm gonna go Benadryl myself to sleep. ❜

❛ I feel like I could disappear. ❜

❛ I called you a hundred times. You gotta pick up your phone! ❜

❛ I needed to see you. I know this is a bad idea. ❜

❛ Can you at least tell me you love me? ❜

❛ Did you, by any chance, tell anybody anything about us? ❜

❛ Did you leave a pair of red panties in my office? ❜

❛ Never say that out loud again. ❜

❛ It's our last time together. Let's make the most of it. ❜

❛ Last night, I went from desperate to pathetic. I became someone I don't even like. ❜

❛ We could have had this fight four hours ago. I'm late. ❜

❛ You're a fucking coward. ❜

❛ For Valentine's Day, I thought I'd buy a gun. ❜

❛ I'm being paranoid. Crazy. It's just... I'd sleep better with a gun. ❜

❛ You fucking idiot. You fucking asshole! You fucking lied to my fucking face! ❜

❛ If anybody finds out, you're totally fucked. ❜

❛ I was scared for you before, and now, I'm fucking petrified. ❜

❛ But the truth is, you'd have to be a sociopath to behave normally in this situation because it's the most abnormal situation in the world. ❜

❛ I'm so sick of being picked apart by women. ❜

❛ I have nothing to hide. ❜

❛ You have to fucking talk to me! ❜

❛ Why have you kept this stuff? It's like a little box of hate. ❜

❛ I love you no matter what. But you need to tell me. ❜

❛ Are you asking me if I killed my wife? ❜

❛ Because sometimes the way he looks at me I think...He may truly kill me. ❜

❛ I am so much happier now that I'm dead. ❜

❛ Let the punishment fit the crime. ❜

❛ You need to bleed. A lot. A lot, a lot. ❜

❛ But, then, we never really existed. ❜

❛ He loved a girl I was pretending to be. ❜

❛ "Cool Girl. " Men always use that as their defining compliment. ❜

❛ I was fucking game. ❜

❛ What's the point of being together if you're not the happiest? ❜

❛ You think I'd let him destroy me and end up happier than ever? No fucking way. ❜

❛ I need 20 seconds where you don't judge me, interrupt me or get angry. ❜

❛ You married a complete psychopath. ❜

❛ Part of me was relieved when I thought she was gone. ❜

❛ As long as you don't own a python and blast death metal at 4 AM, we're gonna be best friends. ❜

❛ Least you could do is not keep his secrets for him. ❜

❛ I believe you. It's just the craziest thing I've ever heard. ❜

❛ I always wondered why you kept in touch after...everything. ❜

❛ The whole thing just feels hinky. ❜

❛ Whatever they found, I think it's safe to assume that it's very bad. ❜

❛ Don't take it personally. ❜

❛ I thought we were steering clear of men for a while. ❜

❛ I'm not sad. I'm angry. ❜

❛ Why should I die? I'm not the asshole. ❜

❛ That sounds like a very bad idea. ❜

❛ This is a ticking time bomb. You've gotta throw yourself on it. ❜

❛ Where is the money, sweetheart? ❜

❛ You're hiding. I don't know why, and I don't really care. ❜

❛ There are a lot of people out there a lot worse than we are. ❜

❛ Every time you look smug or annoyed or tense, I'm gonna hit you with a gummy bear. ❜

❛ Knowing you were out there was the only thing that's kept me going these past few years. ❜

❛ Why are you so good to me? ❜

❛ Why is she dressed like a babysitter? ❜

❛ Come on, you're staring at ghosts. ❜

❛ Not that I don't appreciate Bait Shop Chic. ❜

❛ There are cameras everywhere. ❜

❛ You are more than safe, and I am not letting you get away again. ❜

❛ You're probably the most hated man in America right now. ❜

❛ Just because I am not a murderer doesn't make me a good guy. I'm not a good guy. ❜

❛ And if you come back, I promise I will spend every day making it up to you. ❜

❛ They disliked me, they liked me, they hated me. And now they love me. ❜

❛ I gave you the benefit of the doubt over and over. Every time you said something stupid, I thought, "Maybe he's just stupid." ❜

❛ I've forgotten how to behave. ❜

❛ Fire doesn't erase blood. ❜

❛ Come home. I dare you. ❜

❛ You fucking bitch. ❜

❛ She slit his throat with a box cutter. ❜

❛ All right, you can stop pretending now. ❜

❛ You do know I was just telling you what you wanted to hear, right? ❜

❛ You know me in your marrow. ❜

❛ Take off your clothes. I need to make sure you're not wearing a wire. ❜

❛ You killed someone. You're a murderer. ❜

❛ I'm a fighter. I fought my way back to you. ❜

❛ I'll make sure that no one forgets the pain you caused me. ❜

❛ When two people love each other and can't make that work...that's the real tragedy. ❜

❛ I swear, you two are the most fucked-up people I've ever known. ❜

❛ I would never, ever hurt you. ❜

❛ I don't care. I am leaving you. ❜

❛ I won't have to teach your child to hate you. He'll do that all by himself. ❜

❛ You fucking cunt! ❜

❛ The only time you liked yourself was when you were trying to be someone this cunt might like. ❜

❛ I've killed for you. Who else can say that? ❜

❛ Yes, I loved you. And then all we did was resent each other, and try to control each other. And cause each other pain. ❜

❛ You're breaking my heart. ❜

❛ You're my voice of reason. I need you with me on this. ❜

❛ Of course I'm with you. I was with you before we were even born. ❜

❛ We've been through the darkness. We've come out, united. ❜

[aminiatureworld]

Distance

Characters: Childe, Kaeya, gn!reader

Word Count: 4,280

Warnings: Swearing

Premise: What other explanation could there be? Surely this is the one logical answer. Even if it hurts, even if it doesn’t make sense.

In which the reader’s s/o assumes the reader is no longer interested.

Author’s Note: This prompt is really fun to write so far but I feel terrible torturing the poor characters like this. Oops.

Childe

The warm wind tickled Childe’s hair, causing the Harbinger to bat a few orange strands out of his face, eyes still pinned on the harbor that was fast approaching. The balmy breeze of Liyue was refreshing – a reminder of all the things he had been missing on his long-drawn-out trip. Now Childe leaned against the railing of the ship, eager to touch land, unable to contain the excitement he felt at the knowledge of what was awaiting him upon the dock.

Though he didn’t like to admit it this trip had been a particularly harrowing one, not just for Childe but for you as well. The post was notoriously touch-and-go across the Seven nations, especially with the deep snows whirling into Snezhnaya this time of year. The fact that he was gone almost a month certainly didn’t help. If he had to admit it Childe had found himself worrying about the time more than usual, worried how it might affect you. Now he was eager to push all those thoughts away, to once more find himself next to you, all well with the world. As the crew bustled around him to prepare the junk for docking the Harbinger took a deep breath in. There was nothing to worry about. Soon all would be well.

The empty dock was a jarring sight. Though saying it was devoid of people wouldn’t technically be accurate, business was going on as usual after all, to Childe it might as well have been a ghost town. Stumbling slightly, suddenly unsure of where to go, Childe climbed up the ramp awkwardly. Finding no one waiting for him on the stone pier as well, anxiety began to coil in Childe’s stomach. Had something happened? Ignoring the thoughts that flurried through his mind he quickly wove his way through the streets of Liyue. Though the city was bustling as always, laughter and shouting echoing through the air as people haggled and joked and went about their business, Childe found himself disconnected from his surroundings. His only thought was to find you, hopefully safe and sound and happy to see him.

There was no sign of anything wrong as Childe approached the door to your shared apartment. Sighing softly he dug around in his pack for the keys. You’d probably just fallen asleep, having recently taken up the habit of afternoon naps, according to your letters. Childe couldn’t really complain if that were the case, after all rest was important and you could hardly be blamed for not being aware of the time while conked out. Yes, surely you were asleep. Then Childe could give you the surprise of waking next to him. A smirk graced Childe’s lips at the thought of it, and as he turned the key in the lock he reassured himself. There was nothing to be worried about.

Unfortunately the Harbinger’s genius hypothesis had proven to be a false one. A quick scouring of the apartment revealed that you were not there, and no signs of any abnormal activity could be found as an explanation. Anxiety seeping into Childe’s mind he barely set down his pack before bolting out of the door, trying somewhat unconvincingly to keep his pace to a fast walk. Had something happened to you? Surely not! Childe knew you, knew that you could very well take care of yourself. He shouldn’t worry.

Still the thought passed through his head, combined with an even more unpleasant one. Had you simply forgotten about him? What if you didn’t care? Shaking his head the Harbinger took in a deep breath. He was overthinking things, still stuck in the mindset of a Harbinger. Not everything in life was a battle, hadn’t you told him that many times, teasing his constant need to see an obstacle to beat somewhere? He really should take your advice more seriously, at least in this case. Slowly down slightly Childe walked to the city center. He was sure his answer would be here; and that it would be so mundane as to not bother a second thought.

His pulse jumped in his throat as you finally entered his field of vision. You were sitting around with a few people, coworkers if the Guild crest and weaponry didn’t serve him wrong, chatting and smiling and overall having a wonderful time. Emotions stirred through Childe, the urge to run up to you, to stalk away, to find the nearest fountain and jump into it; but he stayed put, staring at your laughing face, pain flashing in his chest. He supposed he should’ve felt angry, felt like he’d been stood up. Instead all he felt was sadness, sadness and guilt.

Finally turning around Childe plodded back down the street, steps slow and sluggish. What did he expect really, for you to wait around for him forever? How was that fair? There was no reason you shouldn’t grow sick of waiting, shouldn’t want more out of your life. You were perfectly within your rights to want such a thing. Yet the pain continued, spreading throughout his chest until Childe felt like his lungs were on fire and his throat was crumpled in a fist of his own making.

Arriving back at the apartment a supernatural urge seemed to seize the Harbinger. Pack, he needed to pack. He wouldn’t burden you anymore, wouldn’t continue to strain your emotions by hanging around like a phantom. Luckily Childe wasn’t the kind of person to own a lot of things. Not that you really were either, between the both of you purchases mainly went into gifts for each other rather than personal buys. Childe now stood looking down at some of the things you’d bought or made for him. Scarves, books, a stuffed animal that had reminded you of his Delusion; all of these things lay peacefully on the shelf, giving the books behind them a slightly trapped looked. It was so homey and so comforting that Childe found tears pooling at the corners of his eyes.

Wiping his eyes roughly the Harbinger collapsed onto the couch. What was he doing? Part of him wondered if he shouldn’t just wait for you to come home, wait and see where you two really were. But it seemed unfair to do that. After all, what kind of sleazy person left their partner for a month then begged for their love and attention right after coming home? It was completely within your rights to want more, hadn’t Childe already made that clear to himself? And yet it hurt, it hurt so much. How had he managed to mess this all up, to let the thing most precious to him fall out of his hands? He had been so careless.

Giving himself up to his emotions Childe let the pooling tears stream down his cheeks. Suddenly everything seemed so very heavy. Closing his eyes for a moment Childe sighed. Five minutes, he would give himself five minutes before returning to his packing. Yet the familiar comfort of the couch beckoned to him, and soon fatigue overwhelmed him, dragging him down into the realm of sleep. Thankfully, he dreamt of nothing.

“Childe what are you doing?!”

Lurching up Childe glanced around wildly, hands automatically moving to summon his weapon. For a few seconds he found himself utterly confused, unable to comprehend where he was or what was going on. Soon enough however, the situation came crashing back to him and the Harbinger lowered his weapon. Glancing up at you he braced himself for whatever was going to happen next.

Well you certainly seemed upset, though not exactly in the way Childe might have expected. Instead of anger there seemed something more akin to panic in your eyes, and the red patches on your face certainly pointed to distress more than anything else.

“Is something wrong?”

“Is something wrong, you tell me that!” You took in a few erratic breaths, but your tone remained panicky. “Why are you packing? Do you have another trip? Why are you leaving?”

“I, I thought that it would be easier if I just left.” Childe lowered his head, unable to look you in the eyes. “I figured that I would spare you the pain of having to kick me out yourself.”

“Why in Teyvat would I kick you out?” You sat down on the couch next to Childe, and he could feel your eyes piercing through him. “What’s going on?”

“I didn’t see you at the docks when I returned.” Childe paused, gathering his thoughts. “At first I thought that you’d just fallen asleep or something but you weren’t home. And when I saw you out with your friends, well it made me realize how distant I’ve really been; physically, emotionally, everything. I realized that, and I realized that you deserved better, that I hadn’t been doing enough. I realized that you deserve more, deserve a partner who will always be there for you, who you won’t always have to be waiting for.”

“Oh Ajax.” You whispered softly.

Raising his head Childe could see no relief in your expression. Instead sadness was plainly plastered upon your face. Reaching out your hands you let Childe slump against you, carding your fingers through his hair as he rested his head on your shoulder.

“I’m sorry my darling, I thought you were coming back tomorrow. That’s why I was out. I would never think such a thing as abandoning you,” you spoke softly, tone achingly soft, “I mean it. Our relationship isn’t conventional, that’s true; but I would never trade it for anything. I would never think that you weren’t giving enough, I know how hard you work and how much you put into everything you know. Believe me Ajax, I don’t begrudge you any distance, I’ve never lacked love from you.”

“But what if one day you want something more,” Childe couldn’t help but ask, “what if one day letters aren’t enough? What if one day, what if one day I’m not enough?”

“I promise that will never happen,” you let out a soft sigh, “really Ajax you hold yourself too cheaply. You shouldn’t underestimate yourself, or underestimate me for that matter. You will always be enough for me. There will never be a day I want anything or anyone different, and if need be I will remind you of that every. single. day.”

Punctuation the last three words with kisses to Childe’s head you smiled as he titled his face up to gaze into yours. Though the panic had evaporated from you there was still sadness, and for a moment Childe felt guilt wash over him, guilt that he had caused you so many trials and that he hadn’t even had the courage to face you about it.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. Although I do appreciate you understanding that almost stealing out into the night nearly gave me a heart attack.”

“Not my brightest moment.” Childe admitted.

“Perhaps not,” you laughed, “I mean really, you’d think that it was the second act of a tragedy or something, and not one I’d like to participate in.”

“Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize! Just don’t do it again, or next time I’ll get genuinely angry, and then you won’t get off the hook so easily.”

Childe pressed his lips to yours, another unspoken apology. Though you let out a small huff of impatience you nevertheless leaned into the kiss, smiling against his lips as you let your hands drift from his hair to his shoulders.

That night Childe lay awake, listening to the soft cadence of your breath, indulging in the feeling of peace that lay over him. Though he knew that his worries and insecurities would never truly leave him, Childe nonetheless felt as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Maybe one days his fears would come true, maybe one day this life wouldn’t be enough. But “ifs” and “maybes” weren’t guarantees, and until that day happened Childe would cherish the time he spent with you.

Besides, Childe trusted no one as much as he trusted you. If you said that such a day would never come to pass, then surely you were right.

  Kaeya

You were working late again.

Kaeya supposed that it shouldn’t have bothered him, but then again he also supposed that almost anyone would feel somewhat uneasy if their colleague and partner was suddenly avoiding them like the plague.

Okay, maybe that was a bit of an exaggeration, but not much in Kaeya’s mind. Of course, if this were some sort of habit then he would hardly mind; but after months of making it a tradition to always walk home together, well, safe to say the whole thing didn’t sit well. Nor was it simply a matter of you staying to work late, even the days where you finished earlier than him it seemed that you were always dashing off somewhere, leaving him painfully out of the loop.

Now Kaeya stood across the room from you, fingers drumming on his arm, face carefully hiding the irritation and concern that rose up inside him, threatening to spill over.

“I’m really sorry Kaeya!” Your tone was sincere, and the apology in your eyes seemed genuine enough. “It’s just that Jean asked me to look over the ledgers for the infantry. You know the captain is out this week, but Jean didn’t want to have to owe the City and the soldiers in terms of late funds. I promise it won’t take that long, I’ll be done as fast as I can.”

“Why don’t I help you with it?” Kaeya could feel the sarcasm sweetening his tone, attempted to rein it in he stared at you silently.

“You’ve been working so hard, I wouldn’t want to bother you with extra work.”

“It wouldn’t be a bother at all. Anything for my dear partner.”

“Really, it’s fine!” You twisted your hands, a nervous habit that Kaeya had long ago picked up on. “I’ll be done in time for dinner. And then we can the new recipe you’ve been telling me about; okay?”

“Very well.”

“Thanks for understanding!”

Though you seemed happy enough by the proposition Kaeya noticed how fast your head moved to the papers on your desk. Closing the door behind him he heard you let out a loud sigh. Clenching his hands, as if to remind himself that he was still in a semi-public setting, Kaeya stalked out of the Knight’s Headquarters. The thoughts in his head felt like static, and he worried that if he remained still for one more moment it would swallow him up.

Walking the streets of Mondstadt, Kaeya tried to reflect back upon the past few weeks. Had he done something wrong? Wracking his brain for any serious disputes Kaeya came up frustratingly emptyhanded. If you had fought over something this whole debacle would be one thing. Kaeya had a temper of his own, and petty acts of anger was something he admittedly struggled with often enough. He could hardly fault you if you acted in a similar way, or at least not without admitting to his own faults.

And yet nothing had happened, nothing that might cause such a dispute. Clenching his hands one more, aware that his knuckles must’ve been bone white, Kaeya let his thoughts drift to darker waters. What if you were just sick of him? It was certainly plausible, or at least Kaeya thought so. It would certainly explain why you now seemed to be avoiding him like the plague outside of work.

The thought hurt, as it might well do, but surprisingly most of the pain didn’t come from the idea itself, but from the idea that you wouldn’t tell him such a thing. You falling out of love with Kaeya would be been incredibly painful. You not trusting him enough to the point you were simply avoiding him, well the thought was enough to knock the wind out of him. Did you really think so ill of him? The idea filled Kaeya with smoldering rage and indignation – fueled in no little part by the fact that Kaeya ultimately might agree with you. Usually thoughts like those were the kinds you hated, the kinds you chased away with a stick, assuring Kaeya that no matter his past decisions he was still worthwhile. But you weren’t here now, and those dark thoughts were now kindling for the fire that burned in Kaeya’s mind.

By the time he’d reached the apartment Kaeya was almost sure of his hypothesis. Though a small part of his brain reminded him that he was working of a diet of sleep deprivation and anger, such logical thinking was easy enough to shrug off. After all, the signs were there. You were evidently getting quite sick of him, it was hardly Kaeya’s fault that he caught on.

Throwing his equipment on the floor, not bothering to even put his sword up on its stand, the Cavalry Captain walked towards the kitchen. What he needed was drink, maybe even two. Really if it were up to him he’d spend the next hour or so getting as drunk as possible before passing out in the tub. Thankfully though his reason hadn’t completely left him, and Kaeya managed to limit himself to two and a half glasses of cider. He needed to be at least on the side of sober for the conversation that was bound to pass once you came home after all.

The lateness of the hour in which you arrived felt like a personal insult, though really it was only 21:00 or so.

“Kaeya?” You called out, whipping the Cavalry Captain out of his thoughts.

Stepping into the kitchen the grin on your face was a stark contrast to the emotions that swirled in Kaeya’s mind. Hands clasped behind your back you stood in the doorframe as if expecting something. You’d probably be in for a nasty surprise. Kaeya smiled sweetly at you, words burning in his mouth, mixing with the alcohol. This was a bad idea.

“How was the paperwork?”

“The paperwork? Oh! It was boring enough I suppose. I kept getting distracted though, I really should’ve had you there, you could’ve kept me from nodding off.”

“I’m sure I would have. Tell me something my dear, I have a question that’s been burning in my mind.”

“Yes?”

“Tell me why it is that out lovely Acting Grandmaster asked you to go over the ledgers when I was assigned to that exact thing yesterday?”

Ignoring the blotches of red that immediately spread across your cheeks Kaeya stood up. Carefully going to clean the glass he’d been using he stared into the sink, not trusting himself to look at you. If he did all the words he wanted to say would fly out at once, and something that probably shouldn’t be said with them.

“Did she ask you that? How odd! She must’ve wanted a second pair of eyes or something, I guess.”

“Are my eyes not good enough?”

“Kaeya, you know I wasn’t insulting your work.” A sort of shocked irritation ran through your voice. “You’re the best knight in Mondstadt after all.”

“Oh really? Well if you think so highly of me then why have you been avoiding me so much?”

“I haven’t been avoiding you.”

“Then let me ask a different question; when was the last time we walked home together?”

“I don’t know, a week and a half ago?”

“Try two and a half.” Kaeya finally turned around, drumming his fingers on the counter. “Why are you avoiding me?”

“I’m not avoiding you!” Indignation shot through your words as you shook your head. “I’m just busy recently.”

“Busy with made up work.”

“It’s not made up!”

“Oh really, then tell me what was your work last night?”

“I had to oil the bow strings for my regiment.”

“They couldn’t do it themselves according to protocol?”

“Not the new recruits they couldn’t!”

“Then what about the day before?”

“Kaeya!” You finally burst out. “I don’t know why you’re so quick to find fault with me right now! Just tell me what you’re getting at, if you’re going to insult me you might as well do it head on.”

A part of him admired you for wanting to look at the problem right in the face, another part of him thought of how well you knew him, how attuned you were to his moods. Just as he had figured out that you were avoiding him, so could you tell that his jabs were a misdirection. It was almost funny really, seeing the things you both had picked up about one another now used at the end.

“Fine.” Kaeya crossed his arms, hoping his expression was at least somewhat neutral. “It seems obvious to me that you’ve been avoiding me, and that you no longer want my company. What I am getting at is the fact that you want to break up, and that you evidently trust me so little with that fact that the only solution you’ve come up with is to avoid me.”

Your face went slack with shock, pupils turning to pinpricks as you stumbled backwards. Finally letting your arms fall to your sides you grabbed the side of the doorframe, as if unable to process what he just come out of your partner’s mouth.

“What?”

“Do you really trust me so little?” Kaeya pressed on, feeling his emotions begin to spill over. “Am I really so untrustworthy that you can’t even tell me you want to end things? Am I, am I really that untrustworthy?”

Everything seemed to be going all wrong. Kaeya had expected you to immediately fess up, had expected guilt and relief and then the end. Instead all he got was incredulous silence, incredulous silence and a look that screamed utter and total disbelief.

“Do you really think that I would do that to you?”

The question was a simple enough one, one that anyone might ask during a conversation of this nature. Still your tone was so dispassionate that Kaeya couldn’t help but pause. Did he really think that you would do such a thing? His anger certainly thought so, helped a great deal by his current buzzed state. All that aside however, did he really think that? When he woke up tomorrow, would these thoughts still be swirling through his head, these angry thoughts that threatened to burn through his happiness.

“I don’t know.” It was the best answer he could give.

“Then why would you accuse me of something you weren’t even sure of?”

“I…”

“Kaeya have you really thought so little about what you just told me?”

He almost wanted to apologize for how stupid his words seemed in retrospect.

“Would it help you if I told you where I actually was?”

Your voice was still quiet, but not entirely closed. Nodding stiffly Kaeya felt his fingers still.

“Very well. You were right about one thing, I wasn’t actually checking the ledgers for Jean; and I wasn’t oiling bowstrings all day either, I mean our troops should know how to do that at least. But you made one mistake in your judgement Kaeya, the idea that I was avoiding you. In truth I was gathering materials, I wanted to make a new sword for you. Your current one is so brittle and since I know you don’t want to use the sword you were given as an heirloom, well I thought that I wouldn’t wait for your current one to break and that your new one would be a present.”

“…I see.”

It was all Kaeya could get out; how else could he reply? Shame and guilt mingled within his mind, quickly dousing any anger that he might’ve felt. He really fucked up this one didn’t he. He let his emotions slip once more and now he had made a fool of himself. More than that he had refused to trust you, had ended up doing the exact thing he had just accused you of. Now what was there to do? He couldn’t exactly slink away with his dignity; even if he had managed to retain that, there weren’t many places to go.

“I’m sorry.”

“What?”

Kaeya jerked his head up from the spot he’d been examining on the floor, confused by the sudden turn of the conversation. You stared into his eyes, shrugging slightly.

“I said I’m sorry. I’m sorry Kaeya, I should’ve come up with a better method. I didn’t mean to make you worried, or to make you feel like I wanted to no longer associate with you. Believe me that’s the last thing I want to do. So I’m sorry that I made you feel that way.”

“I was the one who accused you of all those things that weren’t true.”

“You did. I’m not very happy about that to be honest; you’re going to be doing some serious penance for the next week. I just figured that before that I would apologize. Then we could be even. Okay?”

Reaching out your hand Kaeya finally noticed what you’d been hiding. The windwheel aster was slightly limp, the breeze that gave it its beauty nowhere to be found. Nevertheless it seemed at the moment the most beautiful flower in the world. Walking over to you Kaeya tentatively took the flower in his hand. Smiling softly he leaned down to kiss you.

“I’m sorry.”

Tomorrow he’d start making it up to you. Tomorrow he wouldn’t listen to his demons, wouldn’t let his own lack of self-worth hurt you. Tomorrow he would do better by you and more. Today he would say sorry.

After all, he had plenty of time.

[leviiattacks]

Hi, you're a very talented writer and your works are very beautiful. Can I request one where Levi's fem s/o does the ignore your boyfriend prank? Thank you so much and take care of yourself ❤️

author note :: thank youuu i’m glad you think that anon !! this isn’t good at all bc i’m just very sick and yeah,,, i’m sorry if this doesn’t live up to your expectations but i needed something to do and ended up finishing this. hmmm what is this is it fluff?? idk it’s captain levi and survey corps member reader though :-) requests are open so feel free to drop by if you’d like :D word count :: 3.4k 

you should NOT be bothering levi as much as you are because he understands you need your own space to relax sometimes

but come on... you’ve been ignoring him for an unreasonable amount of time now??

and he’s not talking about groggy ignoring, it’s not the type you do when you’ve just awoken from a restless night’s sleep

no. you’re talking to everyone apart from him.

and it’s driving him up a literal wall

did he do something wrong???

has he made a mistake so large that you’re too scared to bring it up???

are you finally sick of him??

will you break up with him?

levi winces when thinking of that specific question

but he’s the type to silently keep his worries to himself as soon as he sees any indication of a bad omen

currently, he’s mentally preparing himself for you to break the news to him any day now

but little does he know you’ve just pulled a prank hoping for him to whine and complain a little

the point of this all is to elicit an out of character reaction

;-)

the idea came from historia at first

her playing such a foul trick on ymir didn’t go unnoticed and little by little ymir’s resolve crumbled away throughout the day

she went quite literally ballistic trying to get historia’s attention

and watching it all play out made you want to try it out with levi

you’d be a FOOL not to

WELL!!!! the fun part about this is that you’re a bit actually, no. a lot, more stubborn than historia!!!

and instead of committing to the prank for a day you’ve chosen to see how far you can stretch this out

if you have to drag it out for two days so be it

you have good reason to

levi isn’t the most affectionate man, your relationship is kept a total secret from all of the cadets

meaning pda never happens

and,,, listen you would love to kiss him before expeditions without having to drag him behind your horse for cover

to be frank the back of a horse does smell rather unpleasant and it’s not as romantic as you’d like for it to be

honestly you’d rather have everyone stare and gawk in awe watching the two of you make out

seeing them put two and two together realizing what it is that’s going on between you and the captain would be hilarious

especially since reiner said last week he could never picture levi dating anyone

AND!! he even had the audacity to say he thinks someone like him would never date someone on the team

is it really not that obvious to them?

do you and levi lack chemistry?

silently fuming you walk away and even then none of the cadets get the hint

but you do think mikasa has known for a while. her senses are sharp and whenever she sees you and levi together she makes a u-turn heading in the opposite direction away from the both of you

but even if she does she isn’t going to tell anyone about it unless she’s directly asked so it’s not like the cat will be out of the bag any time soon

it’s silly getting worked up over reiner’s comments but it’s kinda disheartening having the relationship be kept a secret

and you thought even if it was there would be at least a hint of a rumour, like it should be decently obvious it’s been months since the two of you began to see each other

ESSENTIALLY, this is your plan to “accidentally” let the cadets figure it out

eventually levi will have to get restless enough to do something bold

that’s what you think will happen

but then the reality of the situation hits you at the end of the first day

he seems to be dealing with it just fine ?????

after giving him the cold shoulder he shows no signs of returning at all

...

WHY IS IT NOT WORKING???

mayday mayday mayday....?!??

red alert....?!??

you are about to bang your head against a wall he’s the one who’s meant to be suffering over this not you

but again, you’re stubborn and won’t give in easily

by the end of day one levi has approached you two times

two...

each time you’ve given him completely blunt responses

it’s frustrating you that he’s just dealing with it as it comes

and when he does speak to you it’s not to ask what’s wrong

the first time he approaches you is to ask if you’ve seen petra around which makes your blood boil a little because everyone knows petra has a big, fat, MASSIVE crush on him

you know he won’t ever reciprocate or anything for a number of reasons but you can’t help but feel annoyed

the second time he speaks to you is to ask if you’re willing to help hange out with some paperwork

??????

he doesn’t even look interested in asking you what’s wrong

honestly you would drop this plan but you’re in too deep now

may as well keep it up.

the second day rolls around and it’s not your best day

you burn breakfast

trip over a broom and hit your leg rather hard against the dining table

spill an ENTIRE cup of tea over hange’s important documents

and you haven’t slept a wink after overthinking your relationship status for hours on end

maybe this prank wasn’t a great idea

you’re hunched over the documents close to tears not knowing how you can save them now

there’s nothing you can do and even though you know hange will be okay with it, (they’ve never cared much for paperwork) you just don’t want to inconvenience them with this mess

“y/n?”

looking up you see eren standing by the doorway of the kitchen watching with a humored expression as you place paper towels over the disaster you’ve created

“captain’s looking for you.”

perking up a little internally you make sure to remain as disinterested as possible on the surface

“what does he need?”

“i don’t know he didn’t say.”

“tell him i’m busy.”

and that’s all that occurs during day two

you pass by levi and occasionally his gaze flicks to you but he doesn’t take any action to address you in public or in private

you end up going to bed even more disappointed than you were the first night

the prank definitely isn’t going the way you want and instead of it leading to levi cornering you in front of everyone and dipping you into a dreamy swoon worthy kiss it’s led to you developing doubts.

many doubts.

but you aren’t giving up any time soon, now more than ever you want to be reassured levi even wants this relationship because he’s not acting like it

it’s admittedly a bitch move on your part for pulling this prank in the first place but you expected him to ask how you were doing it has been forty-eight hours after all

if the roles were reversed you’d force him into a room until he would tell you

so you can’t explain his weird behaviour at all

maybe he doesn’t like you as much as you think

that thought makes your eyes sting at the corners

he’s always been reserved and a little lost when it comes to opening up but you’re beginning to lose hope if he finds it this hard to ask if you’re okay

drifting off to sleep before you can wallow in your thoughts any more you wish tomorrow is better

it’s the third day and to say you’re exhausted is an understatement

midday and you’re training in the sweltering heat

the lack of sleep you’ve had recently paired with your stress isn’t doing you any good

a little dizzy you attempt to hold onto a nearby tree for stability but end up somehow missing the mark by a MILE??

tumbling to the floor painfully you hiss at the collision and rub the back of your head which is now sore

footsteps approach you in a hurry and for the first time in days you’re face to face with levi

“you okay?” concern is very much evident in his voice and that eases your nerves

without you even responding he’s turning you around just to check in case

nodding wordlessly you try to get to your feet when you feel a shift.

your ankle without warning gives out on you and you’re sent crashing back down to the ground

closing your eyes and bracing for impact you’re pleasantly surprised when levi catches you by the waist

your weight is leaning onto him and you’re looking down to the floor

hange is yelling from across the courtyard telling levi to drop you off at the infirmary but he doesn’t need to be told that

his instincts do the talking for him and he’s already slung you over his shoulder and begins carrying you towards the base

“levi. put. me. down. this position’s embarrassing.”

he doesn’t respond and you can hear sasha and connie cackling at the compromising situation

swatting his back you’re huffing and puffing yet he’s still ignoring you

you’re being given the silent treatment but you suppose you do deserve it

sighing you deal with the stares you receive on the way there

this is levi and at this point nothing is seen as abnormal when he does it

you can’t really look behind you to see levi’s expression either but when a cadet walks past and mouths “y/n, what the hell did you do??” you know you’re in for it

eventually he reaches the infirmary and without even letting you get a word in he plops you onto the bed albeit a little rough

“what’s with the cold shoulder?” he places both his arms by your sides leaving you trapped

“i-”

“if you want to break up you can just say that instead of beating around the bush.”

you’re stunned by the harsh tone of his voice, he doesn’t have his usual soft timbre and your eyes glaze over in defense

“you want to break up?” your question hangs in the air

chewing at your lip anxiously you know if you bite any harder you’ll draw blood

“i don’t care. if that’s what you want, sure.”

oh.

oh no.

this isn’t going how you planned

nails digging into the flesh of your palms you hang your head low

he doesn’t care at all

if that’s what you want????? really???? that’s his response??? he won’t even fight for you???

it’s silent as he bandages your ankle and you’re burning in a mix of embarrassment and fury.

“i was just pull-” choking up in the middle of your sentence you feel yourself automatically frown

“i was just pulling a prank on you. you know how historia did with ym-“

really you’ve always been terrible at holding back your tears and a few spill over the edge and you sob

why are you like this why why why why why?????

yeah,, you get why everyone calls you overly emotional from time to time but really you swear you feel your heart shatter a little at how levi’s acting

shielding your eyes with your sleeve you cower away from him

lord have mercy.

levi wants to curl up into a ball and die from the wave of embarrassment that hits him

a prank.

a trick.

and he didn’t catch on.

and now you’re crying.

because he thought acting tough and cold in case you wanted to break up with him made perfectly logical sense???

spoiler : it didn’t make any sense...

but now it’s made him look like he hates you??

but he doesn’t hate you

no, no, no. not at all.

he could never hate you.

you’re always willing to help anyone out, you’re genuine, always say sorry even when you don’t need to, unapologetically yourself at any moment, you’re fearful yet push it all aside to be courageous and most of all he loves your little hobbies because who in their right mind actually enjoys gardening??

he’s convinced people who say they like gardening are looking for something unique to make themselves stand out but really you enjoy it and it’s quite cute

ok, ok no more getting side tracked whilst talking about your love for plants

he could name so much more he admires about you but he’d be here all day

“i tried to talk to you yesterday but after you refused i thought you hated me and wanted to break up. that’s why i was acting like that just now.” he slowly tries to explain his point to you

“i know i’m hard to love so when you began to ignore me out of the blue i figured you didn’t want to-”

cutting him off without giving him the option of finishing his sentence you’re wide eyed in horror. he was NOT meant to interpret the prank this way.

“levi?? for as long as i’m alive i’ll never get tired of you. i promise.” his heart rate shoots and the intense magnetism between the two of you becomes stronger by the second

you pause for a second gathering yourself.

“and i’m sorry i should’ve thought about how you’d feel. the reason i did it was stupid.”

levi kneels by the bed and takes your hand in his, he graciously lifts the sleeve of your uniform and ducks down to press a soft kiss onto your wrist.

your heart flutters seeing him be so careful and gentle with you and bashfully you look away

guilt overwhelms you at that moment because you really are horrible for putting him through all of that.

levi cares for you he does

he may be silent about it and not the best at being public with it but you know how he feels.

you feel it in the way he looks at you

you feel it when he helps you mount your horse

you feel it when he double checks your harnesses before expeditions

you feel it when he tends to your injuries

and, you definitely feel it right now when it sinks in that he was acting like he hated you just so you wouldn’t feel bad if you really did want to break up with him.

he’s always been bad at picking up on hints and cues so you now understand why he interpreted it as you wanting nothing to do with him

of course he wouldn’t ask how you were if it looked like you wanted to skin him alive

“what was the reason for the prank?” he inquisitively asks genuinely wanting to know what it is he can do for you

“i...” you’re wandering off and suddenly don’t want to tell him

“i wanted you to kiss me.” you whisper in a rush

he cocks an eyebrow up even more lost. “i kiss you all the time?”

“i mean, in front of everyone else.”

he blinks and his mouth forms into an “O” shape

it’s a little awkward now

he doesn’t bring it up again so you assume he doesn’t like the idea of letting everyone know just yet

and that’s okay!! you respect that!!

after all, you can’t get mad at him for it, it’s the best choice.

you don’t want people to accuse him of having bias towards you and it’ll probably upset petra and hinder her performance if her crush just suddenly starts dating out of nowhere

your gaze is back on levi and he’s now double checking the bandage on your ankle after tending to it

“you can’t walk for a few weeks.” he tsks

“be careful next time.” he’s always been blunt when he does show he cares and you warmly smile after not talking to him in days.

you feel the need to apologize again

“to make it clear i really am sorry, i should have thought more about you.”

he scoffs and rolls his eyes

“i’m overjoyed that my beautiful girlfriend doesn’t want to break up with me. now, stop moping around about it i’m over it.”

he scoops you up effortlessly and you wrap your arms around his neck.

“y/n, for the record, i’ll work on not jumping to the worst case scenario first.”

you love this aspect of your relationship

being able to understand how your flaws impact the other and choosing to make changes or adjustments

it’s sweet and you must be smiling like an idiot when thinking of it because levi blows a puff of air onto your forehead knocking you out of your daydream

feeling a little less light headed than before you notice he’s walking back out towards the courtyard

why is he doing that...?

“you’re walking in the wrong direction?”

“no i’m not.” he replies with a smug grin

oh my god

no he isn’t

oh my god

is he???

you’re bright pink in the face as you turn to look at him panicking when you hear hange’s group returning

eren can be heard arguing with jean as per usual and now you’re smacking levi’s chest even harder

“you don’t have to do this no, no, no. it’s okay really.” it’s funny how you’re begging him not to do what you’ve been waiting on for three days

but you really don’t want him to feel like he has to do this

as if he’s read your mind he replies. “i’m doing this with my own free will.”

he gives you one last grin and pushes you up against the wall, your back is against the cold yet solid surface and you tense up

oh god. it’s happening he’s diving down and it’s as if everything is moving in slow motion.

gradually you feel the familiar feeling of your heart jumping out of your chest

both of your lips mould together, he’s hoisting you up again preventing you from slipping away. hungry hands grip at your thighs and a knowing smile twitches across his mouth.

nipping at his bottom lip he groans and you nearly forget why it is he’s kissing you

that is until you hear a SCREAM from your right

“eren what the fuck are you yelling at?” jean’s voice can be heard scowling in the distance but you’re too distracted by levi’s mouth to care

eren must be speechless because nothing is heard until jean reaches the scene

“OH. MY. GOD.”

“WHERE IS REINER??? HE’S NOT GONNA BELIEVE THIS.”

“you’re both overreacting.” mikasa makes her appearance and you’re not sure if she’s seen you and levi yet because your eyes fluttered shut long ago

“Y/N AND THE CAPTAIN????? WHY ARE YOU JUST STANDING THERE MIKASA??” eren’s voice sounds so distressed you guess you’re right for assuming he may have had a crush on you at some point

“it was obvious, i don’t know how no one else knew.”

finally levi pulls away and you’re panting practically gasping for any traces of air

“what you looking at brats?” levi snaps in their direction and mikasa nonchalantly shrugs and walks away

jean and eren however, dash away at LIGHTENING speed probably on their way to let everyone else know of the shocking new development

levi pecks your forehead and you nudge your nose against his.

since that day you and levi have been able to get away with a lot more pda

you can hold his hand and stare at how pretty your hands look laced together

you can nuzzle your face into his neck without any questions 

you can loop arms with him and even if he acts like he doesn’t enjoy it he genuinely does like walking around with you latching onto his bicep

although he still prefers the privacy of his office he’s more than happy to give in once in a while

and at the end of the day you’re ecstatic because there’s no more kissing behind your horse!!!

GONE ARE THOSE DAYS

wooHOO

honestly, you’re over the moon about it 

and so is levi

:-)

[creepy-spooghetti]

Eyeless Jack Headcanons

I have no idea how I’ve had this blog for a whole freakin’ year and I have yet to write any headcanons exclusively for Jack, aka one of my favorite Creepypastas.

Let me change that now~

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵ 

Jack is no doubt a tragic character, though for much different reasons than the others.

He’s isn’t open and emotionally vulnerable with anyone, like at all. After all, him trusting people was what ultimately turned him into what he is now.

He tends to hang around in his infirmary most of the time, and when he isn’t he’s being sent on missions or out gathering food.

I think you know what I mean when I say “food”.

He isn’t happy with himself, he hates what he was forced to become, and he hates his entire situation. But there’s simply nothing that he can do about it. 

He sees himself as a monster. It makes him feel terrible when he goes into somebody’s home and they look up at him with absolute horror. If he still has a heart, it’s been shattered to kingdom come.

He doesn’t want to scare anyone, he doesn’t want to hurt anyone. It may sound surprising because he’s a cannibalistic demon, but really, he’s just an insecure, broken guy pushed into awful circumstances. 

Because of this, he tries to make his “collection” process as simple and painless as possible. When he sneaks into someone’s house, he’s sure to knock them out with drugs, take a kidney from each person, sew them up, then leave them behind. He couldn’t handle killing them.

He stays far away from children. When he was a normal person, he loved kids, especially since he had a little sister that he always took care of when his mom wasn’t around to do so. He would take whatever punishment Slenderman gave him before he’d ever lay a finger on a child.

He doesn’t bond with anyone in the Manor. He’s friendly with certain people, but he doesn’t consider anyone his “friend”. Not even Sally.

He just sticks to himself, and only speaks when the moment calls for it. He doesn’t get annoyed very easily, but obnoxious people like Jeff, Ben, and Kagekao absolutely drive him crazy.

When he was human, he was 5′10″, but when he got reincarnated, he gained quite a bit of height. At 6′4″, he’s one of the tallest ones living in the Manor.

Despite being quite slim, he’s abnormally strong - a side effect of being an otherworldly entity. It does come in handy at times, but it doesn’t mean that he enjoys having it. 

When he was in college, he was studying to become a pediatrician, or more specifically, a hematologist/oncologist. He wanted to make a difference in young peoples’ lives, be their hero, work hard to save them, since he couldn’t save his own sister. 

Of course, that plan got flipped upside-down when Jenny and her idiotic cult decided to use Jack as their human sacrifice.

Jack cannot eat anything but organs, no matter how much he may try. He can’t go more than two weeks without eating anything, and if he tries to consume normal food, he’ll be so sick he can’t even walk properly, and this could last for days. 

This makes him very miserable, because the thought of eating literal pieces of people is just so repulsive. He can eat animal organs, but they aren’t nearly as filling. 

However, when he starts eating, a darker, more animalistic side of him surfaces. He blacks out for a time and can’t seem to remember anything about it. The only thing he knows when he comes to is that his mask is lying across the room, his stomach is full, and his clothes, hands, and face is slathered in blood and other bodily fluids.

Thankfully, nobody ever sees him in this state because he does it in secret, inside of a room found in the basement, that only he and Brian have the keys to. 

If anyone were to disturb him during his feasting, there would not be good consequences. He’s very aggressive when his demonic instincts kick in, so if somebody showed their faces, they might just end up six feet under.

Even though Jack doesn’t have his eyes anymore, he can still see. Sure, it’s mostly a colorless world with vague shapes, but it makes his job as a whole easier, as he can rely on his sight and not just his other senses.

He’s a very quiet individual, and he’s good at creeping others out, even if it’s unintentionally. This is due to the fact that he remains eerily silent and just stares. Because of his unblinking gaze, it isn’t received well. Ever.

If he’s feeling particularly distressed, lonely, or sad, he likes to lock himself inside of a dark closet, tuck his knees into his chest, and listen to calm, relaxing music until he settles down. The other residents of the household can go hours without seeing a single trace of him, and then he’ll just randomly reappear and get back to work as if nothing happened.

Since he’s so mysterious and secretive, they have no clue as to where he vanished to and they can’t even begin to imagine what he was doing during that period of time.

He wants more than anything to be able to go back to a normal life with his friends and family, but he knows that’s impossible. Even if he somehow escaped Slenderman’s evil grasp, he wouldn’t be accepted into society. People would be scared of him. They would see him as a threat, a monster.

In a way, he knows they would be right.

[caught-in-a-seesaw-stigma]

Caught Recommendations

Author’s Note: I’m trying to keep track of the amazing BTS-themed series and fics that I’m reading on Tumblr, so I decided to create this post with some short reviews (so I can have them all in one place). These writers are amazing and they keep me coming back for more. They are all smutty as hell and full of amazing characters and conflicts.  This is by no means a comprehensive list, and I will be adding them as more catch my eye. Check them out if you get a chance!

Mafia AUs

The Birdcage  & the sequel The Lion’s Den by @untaemedqueen

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff, Mafia AU; Jimin x Reader

What You Need to Know: Jimin-heavy series (and sequel) that dives into Seoul and Busan mafia underground, violence, guns, knives, bombs, pregnancies, and OH so much drama - the writer creates some fascinating characters that we root for and fall in love with over and over again.   

Thou Shall Not Steal by @xherxx

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff, Mafia AU, OT7

What You Need to Know:  The richest mafia lord in the industry throws a huge yet twisted deal before he retires and every gang out there wants to get their hands on his riches. - The drama is real in this one and there is plenty of hot, steamy scenes that will make you tingle. 

Don’t Care If It Hurts by @hollyhomburg

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff, Mafia AU, Jimin x Reader

What You Need to Know: After a rival gang makes an attempt on your life, Your older brother, the infamous leader of Seoul’s largest gang; Kim Namjoon, gets you a guard hybrid; Park Jimin, The reigning champion of Seoul’s underground hybrid fighting ring. - Yeah, this is also a hybrid series, but the mafia background is much more prominent. The OC is also smart as a whip and Namjoon as the angry leader and older brother is something to behold. The other members feature as well skilled companions and are very good at their jobs.

Omertà by @lamourche

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff, Mafia AU, Namjoon x Reader

What You Need to Know: A story about an unlikely mob boss and his mafia princess wife. This is a love story set in a brutal world. - Namjoon and his crew are tight knit and set to take over the mafia underground. In a true Romeo and Juliet twist, you are from an opposing family and are desperate to get away from their oppressive clutches. As an added bonus, you and Namjoon fall in love and build up his empire together. 

Blackjack by @kpopfanfictrash

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff, Mafia AU, Jungkook x Reader

What You Need to Know: Bangtan is one of the most vicious mafias on the west coast. Only six members are known by name though, with a mysterious seventh member dubbed only as 'the shadow.' When you become indebted to the worst of the worst - how, exactly can you find a way out? - Jungkook is such a gem in this fic and the action is amped up to 11 throughout the series. 

College/Business AUs

Thesis-It (and the sequel) Prove It by @xherxx

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff, College/Career AU, OT7

What You Need to Know:  “When life gives you lemons, make cocktails! It doesn’t solve any problems, but then again neither do lemonades. Besides, it has the word cock in it, just like what the Bangtan boys have on them. So, why don’t you just suit yourself?” - This series was a ROLLERCOASTER of emotion, even when it hurts, you keep going back for more. The sequel takes place AFTER college, but the characters still act like college idiots. LOVE THEM!

Fear & Dumplings by @softyoongiionly

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff, College AU, Yoongi x reader

What You Need to Know: You’re in your final semester at University when your Abnormal Psychology professor assigns you a partnered project surrounding your greatest fears. Lucky for you, your partner just so happens to be a cute boy named Min Yoongi. - The build up to this relationship is just wonderful and you will be completely enamored by Yoongi in this fic. He’s such a soft precious bean and I want to ruin him. 

The Gentlemen by @honeymoonjin

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff, Reality Show AU, OT7

What You Need to Know:  Sick of unsatisfying hookups, boring relationships or the company of your own hand? Apply today for the chance to be on bangasm.com’s very first reality show! Seven attractive young gentlemen will be vying for your choice of who is best in bed. All from different backgrounds, these men claim they’ll be able to rock your world, so don’t hesitate! Apply now! - BEST REALITY SHOW EVER! The characters are vivid and entertaining and the smut scenes are on point. I dare you not to fall in love with every single one of these eligible bachelors. 

Tease by @adonis-koo

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff, Stripper AU, Jungkook x reader

What You Need to Know:  You came with the intentions of your best friend landing a job as a stripper. You never meant to catch the eyes of the king stripper of the establishment- Jeon Jungkook, yourself. With what was supposed to be a harmless way of paying off college debt faster you find yourself falling into a very odd and passionate relationship with your new mentor. Between infidelity, passion and jealousy there’s never a dull moment at Cherry Bomb. - Jungkook starts off arrogant and difficult, but as the relationship progresses, he starts embracing his softness for his new trainee. There is also some hot Big-Little action going on here. 

No Strings by @kpopfanfictrash

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff, College AU, Jimin x reader

What You Need to Know:  You voice your concern that you are bad in bed and Jimin offers to test that theory. What ensues is an angsty friends with benefits situation that threatens to tear your friend group apart. You may want to smack Jimin around a bit, but I promise you will not be disappointed in the end. 

The Holi-Date by @kpopfanfictrash

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff, Career AU, Taehyung x reader

What You Need to Know:  When your ex-boyfriend becomes engaged to his new girlfriend at your annual Holiday party, you admittedly are not in the best place. Which explains why you down six shots of alcohol, enthusiastically drop it low on the dance floor and - oh, yeah - tell everyone you are also dating someone. The only problem? You are obviously not. Good thing your neighbor happens to be cute and in need of a ride to work every morning. - I absolutely LOVE Taehyung in this fic; he’s playful, sweet, passionate, and funny. 

Hybrid AUs

The Mark of Yun-Ki by @ladyartemesia

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff; Historical Hybrid AU; Yoongi x Reader

What You Need to Know: This story was wonderfully crafted and if a Tiger-hybrid Yoongi full of ferocity and passion and admiration doesn’t do it for you, I don’t know what will. 

Reasons Wretched & Divine by @hollyhomburg

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff; Hybrid AU; Namjoon x Reader x Jimin x Yoongi

What You Need to Know: You live on an isolated but sprawling farm with your abusive husband, but things start to change for the better when your husband adopts a retired police dog hybrid named Namjoon. - There are definitely some trigger warnings you should read at the top, but the series is full of mental and physical healing that endears the characters to the reader. The other members are also present as side characters and are hella sweet. 

Abundance by @angelicyoongie

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff; Hybrid AU; OT7

What You Need to Know:  You never expected that you would end up adopting a hybrid, and if someone had told you that you would end up with seven? Well, you would have thought they were crazy. But here you are, with three different packs of hybrids that don’t get along – but all want to stay with you. Yeah, turns out crazy is an understatement. - This is a sweet complicated hybrid situation where three different groups have to find a way to live together. It takes some time, but they all eventual pull together as a family. 

Jackrabbit by @jamaisjoons

Genre: Pure Smut; Hybrid AU; Jungkook x reader

What You Need to Know: On a university-wide Easter egg hunt, Jungkook decides to educate you on just how wrong you are about him. - this one shot will have your thighs rubbing together vigorously wishing that you could get a few minutes alone with this domineering bun (just don’t call him that unless you want to get punished).

Strawberry Cream & BBQ by @thatmultifandomhoe

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Smut; Hybrid AU; Hoseok x reader

What You Need to Know: Your best friend knows she can count on you for anything, so when she asks you to watch her hybrid while she’s gone for a study abroad trip for four months, you can’t say no. But when these four months are over, things have changed in a way no one expected. - The relationship between Hoseok and the OC is so sweet and the drama that erupts after they get together pulls on the heartstrings. 

Sci-Fi AUs

Void by @btssavedmylifeblr

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff, Space AU, OT7

What You Need to Know:  You are the only female crew member on a 12 year space mission with seven handsome men. - The sexual tension is real, y’all. The OC is sassy and hilarious, the other crew members provide colorful commentary and conflicts that keep the reading salivating for more. 

The Turing Test by @fortunexkookie

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff, Android AU, Jungkook x reader

What You Need to Know: You are an engineer who created an advanced form of Artificial Intelligence named Jungkook, but with every technological advance, there are always some bugs to work out (and not all of them deal with the creator or the creation). 

Parenting AUs

Gingerbread Man by @btsracket

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff; Jungkook x Reader

What You Need to Know: Jungkook (a recent widower) is a fantastic baker who owns his own shop. The reader bounces in to place an emergency order and fate takes over from there. Jungkook’s son, Jude, is absolutely adorable and all of the angst and drama derived from moving on from an unexpected spousal death makes for one incredible recipe for success. 

The Stand-In by @yoonia

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff; Namjoon x Reader

What You Need to Know:  Gaining the courage to leave a loveless marriage was hard enough, but is it really a good idea to run to your best friend for help? And would you refuse him when he offers you another kind of ‘help’? - The themes revolving around infertility and then a sudden pregnancy catapult these characters into a wonderful relationship full of love and possibilities. Plus, Daddy Joon is always a yes on my list. 

Intro: Her by @jamaisjoons

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff; Namjoon x Reader

What You Need to Know: You enter Namjoon’s life in the most unexpected of ways, but will you be able to stay, especially when he comes with three adorable but chaotic children, even more chaotic best friends and a bitch of an ex-wife? not to mention your own emotional baggage. - Namjoon is raising his three boys Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook as you enter his life as a marine biologist. The kids are sweet and sassy, Namjoon is a total mess, but a sweetheart. I never wanted to be a mother to children more than these tots, and the bonus would be snuggling into Daddy Joon’s arms. 

Idol AUs

Let Me Hold Them by @jjungkookislife

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff; OT7

What You Need to Know: An OT7 series that includes mxm, threesomes, open relationships, polyamory, and angst.  Please read at your own discretion & the warnings on each chapter. - It starts off small, and then it escalates quickly. I promise, you will not be disappointed. Read on!

Slight Changes by @jiminimoon

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff; Taehyung x reader; Jimin x reader

What You Need to Know: Your relationship with Taehyung takes a nose dive when his infidelity is exposed. Luckily, the other members (especially Jimin) step in to make sure you don’t suffer alone. Prepare for angsty chapters and a lot of soul searching in this fic. 

The Studio Sessions by @getitinbusan

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff; Yoongi x reader; OT7 x reader

What You Need to Know: It’s Min Yoongi’s birthday and you’re ready to give him whatever he wants. When he makes a sarcastic wish while blowing out the candles he didn’t think you’d take it seriously. But he’s glad you did. When word spreads about these special “Studio Sessions” everyone wants to collaborate. - You start with one and work your way through the rest without blinking an eye. It’s a smutty paradise. 

Love Well Done by @oraclemarie

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff; Yoongi x reader

What You Need to Know: You are the executive chef of your very own fine dining restaurant. A big company makes you the offer of a lifetime, setting you on a path straight to Min Yoongi-your drunken hook up. - once these two start admitting their love for one another, it ups the drama; people can let jealousy turn them into monsters. 

Soulmate AUs

A Thousand Springs by @whitesparrows97

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff, OT7

What You Need to Know: Life is short. Eternity is long. Why you in particular are approached by a super attractive man in a club, you did not understand. You understood even less why he wanted to kill you. Fortunately, seven young, also incredibly handsome men show up to help you with this little problem. Purely by coincidence, of course. Or do you really believe in fate? - This fic is action packed with crazy conflicts, special powers, and spicy smut scenes. 

The Immortals by @bang-tan-bitches

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff, OT7

What You Need to Know: Sometimes, you find your destiny. And sometimes, your destiny does whatever it takes to keep you. - There are some amazing things happening in this fic and I just want to crawl onto that giant bed with all of them and their mysterious golden powers.

Fantasy AUs

Blood Moon Rising by @yoonia

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff; Vampire/Werewolf AU; Jimin x Reader

What You Need to Know: As beings from ancient times, the Vampire Clan has undergone numerous changes to thrive in the Modern Age after surviving the Ancient Blood War. As a part of the traveller family in his clan, Jimin has parted ways from the coven until the day his Lords warned him of the lurking danger from inside the clan. And all so suddenly, he was pulled out of his solitary, only to have given the responsibility he had never wished to have, along with the threats that come as a part of the deal. 

Born as youngest yet having lost so much, you have given your family your loyalty, your protection, and had been given their love and support that had become the only thing that keeps you going. But what happens when the only people you have put your trust in only repay you with betrayal?

This series expands beyond this world and into a whole universe of shifter characters. This storyline also includes characters from her other Shifter Series. The storylines are rich and beautifully crafted, and you will love the way the characters stick together on this magnificent adventure.

Of Fire and Love by @hollyhomburg

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff; Dragon-Hybrid AU; Yoongi x Reader

What You Need to Know:  When Dragon Yoongi finds baby Jungkook in the wreckage of a house he burned down, he can’t bring himself to kill the child. Months after someone drops off a baby at your door, you start to notice something- or someone, lurking at the edge of the woods. - This fantasy world just keeps growing in each chapter and you also get to enjoy a baby Jungkook and a baby dragon Hobi. Beware of fairy Jimin - they’re a sneaky one. 

Faerie Realm by @ddaengyoonmin

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff; Fairy Video Game AU; Jungkook x Reader

What You Need to Know: Your mother gifts you a video game set that allows you to fully enter the brand new virtual world of Faerie Realm on the first day of its launch. You lack any of the skills or knowledge of playing video games, but you end up having fun thanks to skilled player you meet named Kookie! You are lucky to have met him, because this deadly game is not what it seems.- Based on Sword Art Online, but I think it’s better. The other members become a part of the group and drama ensues. 

Sweeter than Sweet by @gimmesumsuga

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff; Vampire AU; Jimin x reader; OT7, eventually

What You Need to Know: You never would have expected someone like Park Jimin to notice you. As handsome and beguiling as he is deadly, you’re enthralled from the very moment you meet. Addicted to his kiss and his bite, Jimin opens up your eyes to a whole new world of love, lust and seduction. - this is a LONG series, but it is TOTALLY WORTH IT. Once you dive into the story, there is no resurfacing until you finish. 

A Court of Curses & A Court of Moonlight by @readyplayerhobi

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff; Vampire/Witch/Werewolf AU; Hoseok x reader; Yoongi x reader

What You Need to Know: (ACOC) For millennia, the vampires and witches have hated one another and war has raged between the two. When tensions flare up once more and spill into neutral land, peace is forced upon the two by the faeries. The price of peace sees the Witch Queen married to the Vampire Prince. One hundred years later, how have things changed? (ACOM)  As Prince Hoseok’s personal attendant, you travel with him on a diplomatic visit to Lunatis, home of the werewolves. There, you meet the enigmatic and intriguing werewolf prince, Min Yoongi, and discover more than you expected as a mere attendant. - this world is so full of magical wonder and I am so invested in seeing how everything comes together. It also makes me soft when I see how loving Prince Hoseok is toward his family. 

Caught-in-a-seesaw-stigma’s MASTERLIST

[thebibliosphere]

I really, really dislike the narrative that surrounds romantic relationships that if you don’t want to spend 100% of your time together, you’re not in a healthy relationship. And I don’t mean “ugh I can’t stand them right now” or the whole “wimmin, amirite? Can’t live with ‘em, but still expect them to clean up after me” heteronormative, hateful bullshit. I mean the fact that romantic ideals have been elevated to such unhealthy peaks of unrealisticness, that even wanting time and space to yourself is considered abnormal. 

Like some of the things people are describing when it comes to their “ideal” relationship? Honestly just reminds me of the codependency worksheet my therapist made me fill out, and I ought to know because I’m extremely dependant on my partner to stay alive. Granted, my situation is a little different from people who aren’t disabled or chronically ill. But this still doesn’t change who we are as people, even if it has changed the dynamics of our relationship.

But we’re still emotionally very independent people, and like doing things on our own. We always have, even before my health issues, we had our own friends. We loved wandering off and doing stuff on our own pre-Corona. And even now we still like having some downtime apart, even if it just means he’s watching TV in the other room, and I’m on the computer talking to all y’all. That downtime doesn’t mean we’re dysfunctional or dealing with unresolved resentment with each other, it just means we don’t feel the need for constant physical proximity to feel close. We’re still getting our needs met, we’re still happy. And yet some people would say that because we don’t feel the need to do everything together at every minute of the day, we must secretly be unhappy. Why? Why are some of you so dysfunctional you can’t spend any time apart? (See how not nice it is for someone to say something like that?)

And also, while I’m at it, erase the idea that you’re so in love with someone you will never be mad at them because that’s also not healthy or realistic. There will be times your partner will irk you. There may even be times that they outright piss you off or vice versa. What matters is how you handle those moments and work through them together. And if you’re continually framing your relationship in terms of “we’re so in love we’ll never be angry at each other, so I don’t even have to think about it,” you’re not preparing yourself to deal with real and very valid emotions that are part of the human social experience. You can be the most in love, most in tune, best-matched couple ever, and still find yourself annoyed by something. And it’s the people who break up who either don’t know how to deal with this, or just plain won’t because it breaks their internal narrative of True Love(TM) overcoming all, not realizing that love is both a feeling and a choice, and sometimes you gotta choose to work at it.

 And this applies to queer relationships as well. All too often, I see people saying, “we’re queer, so this will never be an issue” when what you really mean to say is, “we’re queer, so these particular problems that are prevalent in heteronormative relationships will not affect us in that way.”

But that does not mean you will never come across a problem that does put a strain on your relationship. Like, say, a fucking global pandemic that locks most people in their homes for a fourth, fifth month in a row with no other means of socialization or stimulation.

Or one of you getting sick and suddenly requiring constant care... 

And that shit ain’t easy regardless of who you love. Being a caretaker is emotionally and physically draining, and I could write for hours about why there need to be better support systems in place for the caretaker spouses of chronically and terminally ill/disabled partners and how they often become chronically ill themselves. (I was a caretaker myself from the age of 9 onwards. I know this shit isn’t easy. It’s why I made ETD go to therapy when we realized I would need him to take care of me if we wanted to keep me alive.) But that’s another topic for another post. 

Like, honestly, maybe it’s me. Perhaps it’s my experiences and how I view love and relationships, but the whole idea of “I don’t need to take time for myself I’m in a loving relationship!” is just... not good. Everyone needs their own space sometimes and demonizing that as unhealthy is, well, not healthy.

Humans are human, we’re social creatures for the most part. But sometimes you just gotta go off by yourself into the metaphorical woods of the psyche and spend some time being comfortable with yourself. And if you can’t do that without feeling like your relationship is in trouble, well, maybe you ought to evaluate why.