#How Can I Grow Taller At 16 Years Ol

[thomashull1993]

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[novantinuum]

Contact (Ch. 2/4)

Fandom: Steven Universe

Rating: T (No TW this chapter)

Words: 3.0K~

Summary: The first (and with any luck, only) time it happens, he’s almost 16.

Chapter Summary: Help arrives. Amethyst struggles to cope amidst the chaos.

So this fic is Steven and Amethyst centric, set during the 2 year time skip. It’s also kinda in conversation with An Indirect Kiss, and explores the idea of what could happen to a hybrid with a cracked gem. This chapter has no specific trigger warnings. It will be exactly 4 parts.

AO3 link and a link to the first chapter can be found in the reblogs! Support there or here (via reblogs) is very much appreciated! <3

____

Chapter 2: The Worry

A frantic phone call and a few minutes later, one of the decommissioned Roaming Eyes that’s been stationed on Earth carefully lowers through the gaps in the forest canopy. Amethyst lets out a sigh as it lands in the clearing with a solid thunk, her fiercely protective grip on Steven’s hand relaxing a little. Stars, she’s never been so relieved to see one of these clunkers in her whole life.

Those passing minutes are what really worry her, though. Transport will be quick now, but there’s still too many awful what-ifs hanging over her like an anvil to her gem. Like, what if they’ve already wasted too much of Steven’s precious time? What if he’s gonna be permanently damaged ‘coz of all this, since he’s a hybrid, so extraordinarily different from the rest of them? Or, what if there’s not enough water left in the fountain to heal him in the first place? Last she saw, its finite supply was pretty lacking. It’s why they’ve transitioned to healing the corrupted Gems at the Temple as of late, utilizing the Diamonds’ bottled essence rather than the scrap leftovers of the fountain water they anointed in person last year.

But Steven never bottled any of his. And now, with the source of his healing magic totally busted, there’s nothing they can do but visit the fountain and hope beyond all hopes there’s some of Rose’s tears still there.

Oh, if only they were closer to a warp. If they were, then Amethyst could’ve hefted him into her arms like she always used to when he was smaller, carried him there, then bam- they could be on location in an instant. No transport ship needed. Unfortunately though, the two of them hiked a good half hour before big ol’ nasty caught wind of their trail. Like it or not, the warp pad is simply too far away. And she’s not about to risk worsening his crack by jostling him as she runs on such a long trip.

So yeah, this particular Roaming Eye may be old, janky tech, but it’ll have to do.

The teen stiffens in her hold again, eyes growing bleary. “A… A-Amethyst?? I think I’m—“

The violent muscle contractions cut off his words as quickly as the slash of a whip. Knowing the drill by now she lightens her hold, allowing him just enough space to seize without hurting himself. She grimaces. It doesn’t even sound like he can catch a full breath as his body jerks and spasms against his control. The helpless, labored wheezing pouring out from him is almost physically painful to listen to, her own form glitching in sympathy for a split instant.

“Shhh,” she whispers, delicately dancing around the innate fear of the situation. “Don’t talk. Save your energy, remember? I-I... we’ve got ya’. Y’see there? They just landed!"

Blessedly, his seizures reach their end by the time the engines of the craft fully shut off. His whimpers slowly lessen, his eyelids fluttering shut in all his exhaustion.

Her fingers comb through his thick dark curls. “We’ll fix ya’ right up, buddy…”

She’s mopping the sweat off his forehead as the door slides ajar, and Pearl dashes out of the ship with Greg practically sticking to her heels. Amethyst braces herself for the inevitable chastising.

“What on Earth were you thinking,” the Pearl in her subconscious squawks, “letting him get hurt like this?!”

But the reprimanding she instinctively expects never comes.

Instead, the ivory Gem sprints to her side alongside the boy’s father, and— dropping to her knees— envelops her in what’s perhaps the tightest hug she’s ever received from her.

“Amethyst!” she cries, lithe fingers gripping at her long lavender hair. “Oh, thank goodness you’re okay! What happened?”

Clasped tight in her embrace, she allows herself a moment to catch her breath as the world ticks onwards around her. It’s but a small kindness. Admittedly, she’s still too shell-shocked about all of this to give a swift response, too distracted by the overwhelming reality of Greg’s anguished expression as he takes in the sight of his son lying prone before him, his paleness stark against the soft blue of his t-shirt.

“Steven!”

It’s hard to watch. Humans get so weirdly sensitive on the topic of injury— but then, she figures that’s because humans are so squishy and fragile, and always fixated on how short their lifespans are and how easily they can be cut short. Even if Steven’s special, even if in the end his crack will be fixed and he’ll likely be fine, (of course he’ll be fine, he has to be fine!), she supposes it’s only natural for Greg to worry. When the man collapses to his knees in front of him, he grabs Steven’s hand and babbles reassurances into his ear, words spoken too light for either Gem to pick up. Steven’s eyelids subtly twitch upon this appeal to his humanity.

Her glance flicks towards the Roaming Eye as Pearl waits for her to say something, anything.

“I…” she begins with marked hesitation. “I’ll explain everything once we’re on the ship. Gotta help Steven first, yeah?”

She nods, pulling away to stand. “Y-yes, of course. You’re right.”

Kneeling beside her, Greg’s voice quivers, ever so slightly. “You’re gonna be fine, buddy,” he whispers to the boy, his hand squeeze only barely reciprocated. “You’re gonna be just fine.”

Pearl interrupts his frantic reassurances with a nudge to his shoulder.

“We need to carry him,” she says, voice strained. It’s clear she’s only barely choking back her panic. “One mustn’t waste any time when it comes to cracked gems, after all!” Without skipping a beat, she leads the human’s quivering hands to the teen’s ankles. “Here, you can lift him by the legs like so, Amethyst, his torso, and then I’ll be at front supporting his neck and shoulders—“

Steven gives a soft whine, breath fast and shallow.

Amethyst swallows, drinking in the nuances of the scene. Steven’s jaw is clenched. Clearly, he’s holding back on expressing how much pain he’s in, bottling it up for their sake. Meanwhile, Greg— anxious single father that he is— is about one second away from breaking down entirely. She‘s almost scared what his reaction will be if Steven experiences another one of his seizing fits in his presence. And Pearl? Much as she loves her, uptight and fraying at the ends is most definitely not the sort of leader they need right now. Truth be told she’s not confident she is either, but hey, hard times call for unexpected solutions.

Gently, she stands to her feet and guides her away from Steven’s body. “Hey, Greg-o and I got this, P. No worries. Just have the ship ready for us.”

“I— are you sure?”

“Yeah, we can carry him no problem, right Greg?”

She turns to match eyes with him, every fragment of her being silently pleading for his agreement.

“Uh, I— sure,” he says, although he doesn’t sound so confident. “I think so. Let me just...” He huffs as he pushes himself off his knees, and shifts closer to his son’s head. “I’ll hold him up front, okay? I’m taller, an’ I’ve carried him before, an’—“

Amethyst’s tone softens. “Hey.” Straining to hold herself together for his sake, amidst all her doubts and fears, she moves to pat his forearm. Attempts to ground him. “Hey, you’re good. We can do this.”

She closes her eyes and inhales deeply to calm down her own unsteady form. No panic. Don’t let them see your panic. You’ve gotta be the mature one here. It’s gonna work out, Steven will be fine. You’ll all be fine.

Breathe. Just breathe.

“Pearl, start the ship for us,” she says once she’s balanced herself. Not a question, not a request, no hesitation in her tone. Not a confused, defective Quartz soldier waiting for orders, nor a naïve Gem clinging on the heels of the first living souls she ever saw, nor a loyal teammate constantly deferring to another’s judgement out of insecurity, out of the flawed belief that no one would ever take an overcooked runt like her seriously. No, no. Not today. Instead, as she rises above the shadowed, fettered memories of her past, Amethyst takes hold of the reigns of leadership as easily as grasping her whip.

Pearl offers a weak smile as she nods in confirmation, and starts to scuttle back towards the Roaming Eye’s door. “Yes, of course!”

Good, she thinks. One issue taken care of. Now, as for Steven and Greg...

The two shift in tandem around the cracked boy as they prepare to lift him. In his current state, it’s imperative that they’re careful. She clasps her hands around his ankles, feeling a twisting close to her gem as she watches him instinctively flinch at her touch.

“Shh-shh, it’s okay,” Greg whispers. “We gotcha.”

“Dad,” he croaks, the first words he’s had the strength to speak in a good while.  “Duhh- D-Dad, I... Ahm- I’m suh... sss-so sorry—“

Her hard-light form nearly spikes cold with fear as he continues to mindlessly babble. Shards, now his words are becoming slurred! He’s deteriorating. They gotta make this quick.

“Steven, we’re gonna pick you up on three, capiche?” She locks eyes with his father, her friend, seeking confirmation. “Ready?”

“One,” Greg mutters, solidifying his hold under his armpits.  

“Two...”

“Three!” they say at once, hefting the teen’s full weight up off the forest floor with a grunt.

He produces a sharp gasp in response. The sound makes her cringe. She knows they can’t avoid jostling him altogether if they want to transport him to the fountain, but... geeze, she really hopes they’re not hurting him any more than he already is. And she hopes he doesn’t seize up on them again while he’s off the ground. That could turn out disastrously.

Working together, they carry him across the grassy clearing and up the shallow incline of the ship’s ramp. Slow and steady, as careful as they can be... Greg’s breathing hard by the time they reach the entrance, but his grip holds strong. Meanwhile, Pearl sits at the cockpit, punching in coordinates for Rose’s fountain. Besides her, the ship is empty.

“No Garnet?” Amethyst asks as she leads them inside, finally seeing fit to bring up the obvious question.

She shakes her head in fervent stress. “She’s still away on her mission on the Niessea Belt worlds. I tried contacting her, but—“

Steven gives a painful, keening cry, his entire body shooting rigid in their hold. Her eyes snap open wide.

Shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot, not now, not now—

“Greg- Greg, hold him!” she shouts, slipping into hysterics as he begins to seize again, limbs jerking and breath coming in quick shallow gasps. She can feel the muscles of his legs spasm in staccato bursts under her hands. “Hold him, don’t drop him, you—“

Pearl jumps up from her seat upon hearing all the commotion. “What’s wrong with him??”

“I’m trying, I’m—!”

“Set him down, set him down! Quickly! We gotta get him back on the floor where it’s safe, I can’t let him get hurt again, I can’t—“

“Sh-shta...” Steven slurs, face contorting as he rides this episode out. “Puh... please, I—“

“I’m starting the ship!” the ivory Gem says, punching the last few buttons needed to close the door and launch them on their way.

The Roaming Eye shakes ever so gently as it lifts up out of the dense forest. Amethyst stumbles, legs slightly wobbling as she coordinates with Greg to deposit Steven safely on the cool metallic floor, his head resting in his father’s lap. His spasms are more intermittent now. Hopefully this means this latest round of seizing has reached its end.

For now, she can’t help but fret, swallowing with a heavy gulp as she watches Greg comb back his sweat slicked curls. Until they can fix that crack in his gem, he’s gonna get worse and worse. She knows this from experience. Simply put, being cracked long-term is a nightmare. You can’t think straight, you can’t speak straight, you lose all control of your physical form... She’d willingly poof a thousand times if it meant she could avoid janking up her gem like that again.

Which is why it absolutely shatters her to have to watch Steven suffer through this too.

She watches silently as the boy lets his eyes slide shut for now, held safe in his father’s embrace. His rest isn’t exactly restful— as evident from how his brow and nose keep scrunching inwards as he seethes from the sensation of it all— but anything is better than nothing in this state.

“So you- you said he’s cracked?” Greg asks, looking up at her with dampened eyes. His hands are shaking now. The man is clearly a hair’s breadth away from breaking down in tears. It’s genuinely a credit to his strength as a father that he’s holding it together at all.

Gently, Amethyst lifts the hem of his shirt to reveal his gemstone. The deep gouge marring the diamond at his navel says everything her words cannot. The others’ reactions are immediate, their eyes blowing wide with fear. Even Pearl, even someone who knows the power of Rose’s healing magic firsthand. Horror clutching with a vice-like grip upon her gem, she notes that the crack has expanded since she last looked.

“We were just tracking down that corrupted Gem that tripped our detectors this morning,” she explains. “But it ambushed us! I... geeze, I thought we could like, poof it no problem, but...”

“It got the jump on him instead,” Pearl says in a blunt, grim manner. She balls up her hand at her chin, expression haunted by the very thought. “Stars, I can’t even imagine how badly this hurts! It must have taken quite the hit to crack a diamond like this.”

His father rubs at the boy’s shoulder, wincing at the sight of his baseline quivering, his jaw clenched like a knife to the grindstone and his eyes twisted shut. “Is there anything we can do right now to lessen the pain for him?”

Hmm. She curls her lip, musing on this. Good ol’ Pierogi probably has human pain killers stashed away somewhere in that pearl of hers. But there’s no guarantee that such a remedy would do a single thing to help, given the nature of his injury. It’s the Gem half of him that’s hurt, not the squishy organic half. So whatever they do it’s gotta be a Gem remedy, and the only Gem remedy she can think of for an injured Gem is...

“Well,” Pearl begins cautiously, her gaze drifting between the three of them, “when Gems became cracked during the rebellion, we used to poof them until Rose could return to use her healing magic, so they wouldn’t have to deal with the trauma of glitching out so badly. But of course, Steven’s different! He’s half human. We can’t expect it’ll work in the same way!”

Although...

“Can we poof him?” she shrugs, playing devil’s advocate for a moment.

The whites of Greg’s eyes expand as he gawks at her. “W-what are you suggesting, exactly?”

“I mean, he can fuse, right?”

“Well, yes—“

“An’ same as poofing,” she cuts back in, holding up a finger for emphasis, “fusion is a sorta... shifting of our hard light forms. His organic half goes somewhere during all that, yeah? If he poofed, maybe it’d be the same.”

The man’s sunburnt face drains just about as pale as Pearl’s as he clutches onto his son all the tighter. “Uh, I don’t think now’s the right time to test a hypothesis like that. Or ever.”

“Greg’s right,” Pearl says. “There’s simply too much we can’t say with certainty about his hybrid nature.” Tears building in her eyes, she brushes her slender fingers against his cheek. “But he’s a fighter, our Steven. He’ll carry through.”

Below her, Steven lets out a soft whimper. Realization hits her with the force of a quartz’s strike that she genuinely has no way of knowing for sure how much or how little he’s aware of his surroundings right now. Her face flushes dark with shame. Held taut at her sides, she clenches her fists tight, mentally pulling away from the conversation in which clearly her stupid half-baked ideas are unwelcome and instead fixating on the quickened thrum of the hard light running in channels through every square inch of her form. A pang of anger swells up within her, all putrid and stale. What on Earth was she thinking?? He’s in agony, he’s broken, and yet she has the gall to suggest such a moronic, risky idea anyways? When his very survival hangs in the balance? Geeze. What the hell.

She’s disgusting.

She hastily stalks away from the trio to catch some fresh air, slouching against one of the windows and pressing her cheek to the glass. A small sliver of her can’t help but admire the view through the Roaming Eye’s wide windows. The ship running on autopilot, they’ve long since lifted through the clouds and into the stratosphere. It’s all white and grey swirls as far as the eye can see. The reds and pinks of sunset edging at the visible horizon greet them with warmth.

With everything else plaguing her it’s a hollow appreciation, though. No matter what thoughts she tries to distract herself with, the memory of that ill-fated fight sinks its claws into her mind more and more by the minute. Every tangible stimulus— the sights, the smells, the sounds, the pains— it all plays on repeat. It’s insufferable, obsessive. Like some self-despairing sapphire she traces each and every decision that led her here, bolds and underlines every mistake.

And no matter how many times she tries with desperation to make up for it, tries to save him, no matter how many loops through recent past she takes, it all brings her to one single, overwhelming conclusion:

All of this... all of this needless suffering...

It should’ve been her.

[dragmiire]

here it is my dudes--a cohesive timeline of all that is g.anondorf... for my blog. this is explicitly for oot, as i have yet to actually think terribly hard on his main verse (in which is always a generic, on-going verse that remembers all past lives, essentially summing up every new game nintendo can fling without me having to work too hard to keep up and make edits) just because it is so open and flexible. i consider oot to be his first life, the first time the demon king demise was capable of finally reincarnating as a human man (until nintendo shows up at my house and shatters my kneecaps with a game disproving this), and it is his most significant life as it is the foundation that make him the man he is and discusses hugely important factors of his history that he carries with him to present day. tp and ww are extensions of this timeline, merely splitting off into separate eras, and botw is... it’s a hot mess.

anyways, slapping this under a read more bcuz it’ll probably get long. (mario vc) LET’S A-GOOO

(as a note! i may edit this in the future, tweaking it and adding further details, or removing things as i see fit. this will never be permanent--see it as something fluid, ever-changing with my evolving hcs and perception of good ole gan. aka i may forget things and need to add them.)

BIRTH.

born in the later years of the hyrulean civil war, g.anondorf’s birth was something of little celebration. under siege by the king of hyrule’s men, effectively trying to starve their people into submission, it was upon the third day that queen pritana nali’s head of guard, nadia dragmire, gave birth. in the dead of night, the destined king of the gerudo was born and laid in the arms of his mother, stunning all those present, having never anticipated that their prophesied king would come in such dire times, let alone to one without royal blood. queen pritana would have her child a few days after--a girl, princess ardin. utterly furious that the goddesses would mock her in such a trying time, their people not only suffering at the hands of the relentless hylians, but a guard to be destined to bear their future king, pritana had little choice but to make do. prince ganondorf dragmire would be immediately betrothed to the newborn princess ardin nali, and queen pritana formally surrendered to the king of hyrule, for ganondorf’s birth would surely be an omen of the tides to change. busy with formalities with the king to ensure their people did not suffer that much further, pritana relegated the duties of overseeing the young prince to koume and kotake, the twin witches of their tribe. their magic was often the lifeline of the gerudo, and serving on her council as advisors, it seemed fit that nadia would pay heed to any advice they would provide in the ultimate good of ganondorf’s upbringing.

AGES 0-8.

ganondorf was mostly raised by his mother, nadia, with the occasional bit of advice flung in here and there by the generally disinterested koume and kotake. while queen pritana had somewhat of an influence upon the young prince, she had little interest in the child not born from her, merely as to how he would serve their people in his future. she was preoccupied with matters regarding her own daughter and ruling her small kingdom, and was fully trusting in koume and kotake to take action where need be. in the crucial, formative years of his life, he mostly resided within the heart of the fortress where the queen and princess lived, kept under the tutelage of malena, a long time esteemed teacher of the royal family. it never seemed to terribly bother ganondorf much how often he was juggled between the home of his mother, to the queen’s chambers, far too young to grasp the depth of his purpose in life and why precisely his circumstances were different than that of the other children of the fortress.

AGES 8-13.

when ganondorf became capable of wielding a sword alongside a pen, nadia herself took him under her wing for his weapons training. not only was he to be an educated member of royalty, but he was to be taught how to lead their people in battle, to strategize and inevitably go to war, as queen pritana desired. so long they had been under the king’s thumb, their people wasting away in the desert while hyrule flourished, she foresaw change in the boy--he would be the gerudo destined to take the power back, to shift the scales back in their favor. nadia could not deny her queen, though her heart stung to see her child, so young and fragile still, struggling to lift a practice sword the size of himself. in spite of her quiet, mental struggle, she refused to allow anyone to take her place. she wanted to ensure him the best, and thus beginning from the age of eight, from dawn ‘til dusk, his days were split between his studies, and his training. he was taught to be swift, to think ahead, to be always on his feet--and nadia learned to swallow her heart when he would whimper rom the splitting blisters on his hands from wielding a play sword, and cry in pain when he happened to be struck. for he needed to be tough and resilient, to endure anything that would come his way. nadia lost sleep at night thinking of her ineptitude in properly teaching him because of her soft heart resulting in his demise. by thirteen, he was a cunning swordsman--a far cry from the stumbling, wailing child pleading for an early end to their sessions. crafty and sly, in spite of a growth spurt that had already bumped him up to a mere foot shorter than his already imposing mother, he was swift on his feet and quiet as a wolfos in the night. already was he forming into a talented young man at so tender of an age, personality as bright as the midsummer sun and with a love as deep as lake hylia. in spite of her quiet, unspoken fears, the hardships of being a blossoming young prince had not jaded him. instead, it so seemed her efforts at night, cradling him to sleep in the crook of her arms, serenading him with songs of their people’s history, had kept his heart softer than his calloused hands. he loved his mother, and he loved his people, and from this love was born a determination to do his utmost to serve them as prince and king, and learn what he could. bittersweetly did nadia cherish this, her fears of what may come to her boy forever at the back of her mind.

AGES 13-16.

the day after his thirteenth birthday, queen pritana declared that ganondorf would travel to the desert colossus and continue his lessons in the spirit temple under the guide of koume and kotake, the twin mages of the gerudo. upon their determination, they found an untapped magical potential within the prince rare among their people, and thus it was deemed he would be sent off to refine his craft, and simultaneously pay homage to the goddess of the sands for the gifts she had bestowed upon him.

silently, nadia was devastated. their sacred grounds of worship was a difficult, arduous journey, typically only made annually for the yearly festival paying respects to the goddess, for they could not afford much more. that, and ganondorf was sworn off from visitations. no distractions. nothing that would make him forget his goals. while unspoken, it was widely believed, and gossiped in the darker corridors of the fortress, that queen pritana had been growing quietly jealous of her head of guard, watching the relationship she nurtured with her son while she was left with a girl child who’s only right to the throne now was through ganondorf. it did not help that neither child seemed to especially get along. princess ardin regarded prince ganondorf with the same sort of air one would regard a cockroach found in their home, and prince ganondorf often would bully princess ardin for her haughty aura, and thus the pair were often kept separate. unwitting to all of this, while ganondorf went through his own tumultuous feelings, quietly terrified of what was to come, he was already long since an expert of putting on a brave face and pretending all was well. it was his duty to fulfill for his people, and thus, he would do it. unknown to all, in the time spent at the desert colossus, koume and kotake discovered something they had never anticipated. the dormant spirit of the great demon king demise, long since said to have been slayed by the first hero, the boy from the skies, lived within the young prince ganondorf, who served as his reincarnation and host. the prince’s great magical pool was born from him--demise. a destined warlock by the demon king’s blessed existence alone, the twin witches were beyond thrilled with their discovery. whilst not necessarily fascinated out of an inherent evil, their curiosity as to demise’s existence was not wholly innocent either. for the wellbeing of the gerudo, and the world at large, it would be in their best interest to figure out a manner of keeping demise permanently locked in a dormant state within young ganondorf, forbidding him from being able to access the youth as a host and puppet to pilot through hyrule. however, curiosity is a terribly damning thing. thus, in secret, unbeknownst even to ganondorf himself, koume and kotake concocted a plan to awaken the spirit of the demon within ganondorf, spending the next three years not only bestowing all of their wisdom in the realm of magic upon their prince, but spending his sleeping hours quietly rebuilding demise’s strength.

AGES 16-18.

when ganondorf set off for the colossus, nadia did her best to burn the image of him into her mind. his hair had begun to brush his shoulders in its length, and the baby fat in his cheeks was just barely beginning to melt away into strong cheekbones and a defined jaw. he hadn’t even been taller than her yet, though she knew it was on the horizon. still a baby.

when ganondorf returned, nearly did nadia not recognize her boy.

tall, already over her by a handful of inches, his growth spurt most certainly had come. his hair was long enough to be tidied back in a taut bun, and the roundness to his cheeks was fully gone, his masculine features sharp and distinct. even though he still had a touch of boyish softness to him, it was evident that the time spent at their temple had hardened him that much more, the muscles in his arms and chest visible, likely a result from the absence of the sweet treats she often snuck for him.

as he spoke to her, voice rumbling and deep, it took all of her strength not to cry in front of her fellow warriors and her queen, reserving it for when they would finally have a private moment for her to hug her boy. the image of the king that he was had finally begun to take shape, and she was simultaneously bursting with pride, and utterly terrified of its implications.

for the following two years, the once mischievous, bright-eyed young boy turned quietly, scholarly prince would spend his days preparing for his coronation day. his eighteenth birthday would mark the passing of pritana’s crown to his, as per tradition of the hundred year male reaching adulthood, and thus, each and every day to that point would be spent refining and polishing what he had learned so he may guide their people with wisdom, courage, and power. admittedly, ganondorf still felt undeniably hesitant of it all--he was still but a teenager, after all, and the queen was only in her forties, refined and wise and certainly a far more suiting leader than a boy who hadn’t even begun to truly find himself. nevertheless, he was steadfast, and dove headfirst into his duties. while he may not have known himself, he knew his people. their traditions, their passions, their love for one another--the missing puzzle pieces of his own identity were filled in by what he learned each and every day when intermingling with those he saw as extended parts of his family. in between his studies, he would venture into the fortress and investigate the daily on-goings that were not a necessary part of his curricular.

queen pritana frowned upon this, always looking on with great disdain when catching the future king among the seamstresses, trying to follow along with every stitch and shift of the needle, dismissing it as work he did not need to worry himself with, as it would always be delegated to someone else. never was ganondorf flustered by this, for even if it was not something he would do (especially not, given how he pricked himself with the needle more times than he managed a proper stitch), he wanted to know. he wanted to be educated so he could relate on a level his family was deserving of, so that he may understand and feel their needs as if they were his own, and act accordingly.

the queen begrudgingly allowed it--so long as he never let his studies slip.

quietly, ganondorf found it a good excuse to be able to intermingle again with others. the colossus had been achingly lonely, koume and kotake seemingly always occupied with other things in their breaks. he hadn’t any peers his age, or anyone else at all, and anyone who made the pilgrimage to the temple dared not speak to him, lest it travel back to queen pritana and she react accordingly. thus, he drank in the stories, the on-goings he had missed. the raids on hylian caravans for goods, the improvements they had figured out for the iron knuckle’s armor for combat, the girls born into the fortress within the last three years and the women who had left their walls after finding husbands in hyrule. greedily drinking in everything he had been without, ganondorf’s mind always lingered upon those who left. was the fortress, the desert, not enough for them? was it truly love that they had found, or was it a hospitable home with a guaranteed warm meal and no threat of danger looming over high stone walls that had lured them beyond? it was a question that clung to him, one that would be a guiding principle in how ganondorf would serve his people. if they were to leave, then so be it--but he would not allow it to be of reasons that he could not change. he would carve out a prosperous future for them at any cost, so that those who would leave the fortress may consider taking a second look back, and think of what they were going without, not what they were escaping. from boy, to teen, to man, the years passed, and on the day of his eighteenth birthday, young prince ganondorf dragmire was no more. as pritana’s crown passed from her head to his, ganondorf rose from his taken knee to stand tall. before the gerudo, he now stood before them as king ganondorf dragmire, and solemnly did he swear to bring them to a golden era.

AGES 18-21.

as pritana stepped back as queen mother, her throne and powers relinquished to the new king predestined as their new ruler, the promise nadia had sworn to her came to life. princess ardin, descended from the unbroken line of royalty that had come before ganondorf had been born, was to be married to the new king, and within a week of his coronation. there was mild chaos surrounding arranging two separate ceremonies, and ganondorf mostly kept himself out of it, as did ardin. neither were terribly thrilled--in his absence, ardin had taken liking to playing guard. her handiwork with a spear rivaled even that of nadia’s, and while her royal bloodline forbade her from participating in venturing beyond the desert, lest she be wounded, or worse, outside of it, often did she speak of the potential excitement of finally being able to journey to hyrule among her fellow women and experience the thrill of gathering resources for the fortress. ganondorf served as a cruel reminder of what was not to be.

her fate always remained intertwined with his, and often, she wished to have swapped places, and to have been born to the guard’s line, so she may serve her people at the front, rather than sitting like a glass doll upon a throne she did not want. the day of their wedding was the closest either had ever been to one another, and it would be one of few times ganondorf could count on one hand they would be close again. their marriage was one conditional and loveless, though with years of added maturity, the childish disdain had simmered to mere disgruntlement at the circumstances they had been thrust into. both, however, were in agreement on one thing: it was for their people, and out of their boundless love for them, they would find a way to be amicable with one another. princess ardin was crowned queen, and from that day forth, she would serve at ganondorf’s side as his aid--or at least, she would do so in appearances.

AGES 22-25.

even if their relationship was not loving, he and queen ardin still managed to have three daughters in their time together. the first was born just barely before he had turned twenty-two, a small girl named amna. the destined, future ruler of the gerudo in his passing, ardin and pritana alike were pleased with the seeming compromise of both their new king’s bloodline and their own carrying on in this girl, who quickly became a beloved member of the gerudo. in the midst of her birth, ganondorf ventured often and frequent to the spirit temple alongside his surrogate mothers, koume and kotake, on journeys explained away as necessary to ensure the goddess of the sands’s favoritism remained for their people. for weeks at a time would he vanish, and while many of their people did not think twice of it, often did nadia fret, feeling something amiss.

and she was right. whispering into his ear, nurturing a seed sown in his youth, koume and kotake reminded him often of the despair their people lived in.

ever since he had taken reign, the gerudo had seen little to no improvement in their daily lives, still forced to scavenge and behave like animals in order to find the means for themselves. when ardin fell pregnant a second time after amna’s first birthday, ganondorf knew he had to do something to either make the desert more hospitable to their growing populace, or seize a land that would serve such purposes.

thus, clueless to their ulterior motives, he would spend weeks, building into months, out of the year on ventures to the temple to work with koume and kotake on improving his latent magic that had, up until that point, been of minimal concern to him. by his mid-twenties, ganondorf was a profoundly powerful magic user, a true warlock in his own right. his might was uncontested in the valley, and when ill-intending visitors tried to lay siege upon their fortress walls, they were sent packing with ease, which greatly pleased ganondorf--but it was not enough. power would not feed his people. his eyes turned elsewhere, from within the desert he had so desperately sought answers, to the truth that had laid before him all along, with perpetually green fields and a wind that caressed the cheeks of its inhabitants.

AGES 26-29.

hana was born in the dead of winter, just like her father. amna five, and her younger sister, aliya, four, both girls were old enough to comprehend a new sibling, and utterly delighted in it. it would be his and ardin’s last child, for she grew tired of pregnancies, and had sights on doing something other than child-rearing. much to ganondorf’s chagrin, she often would pass off their children to caretakers so she may occupy her time with her own passions, joining the guard as she had dreamed of doing as a child. she had wanted children, yes, but only in the most basic of needs--she wanted heirs, girls that would please her mother to pass down their heritage and throne, but no more. begrudgingly did ganondorf allow it to slip, for he was parent enough, delighting in the joys of being a father and spending his time home, when separate of his duties, playing with his girls. however, always at the back of his mind was a hunger. the reminder of what they all were lacking, what he had yet to bring as he had so vowed the day of his coronation. a voice, quiet yet always present, whispered in his ear, telling him of how the love with which he was looked at was falsified, feigned in order to please a king they feared to defy, while he continued to fail them. their swelling numbers were beginning to be too much, and he was not blind to the women of the fortress cutting meals to save them for their growing children. when hana turned three, it would mark the seventh time the king had extended an invitation to the king of the gerudo to take knee before him and join the alliance the other races had aligned themselves with. out of pride and tradition, it was always denied--queen pritana had only enacted a truce between their kingdoms, but as her predecessors had before her, she refused to truly kneel and bow to hyrule’s might. to do so felt kindred to admitting they were the superior people, and no one in the fortress was willing.

until ganondorf.

none were more shocked than queen ardin when he announced his plans to travel to hyrule and secure a partnership with the king, knowing the implications that their ruler, proud and indomitable king of thieves, would be made to bow. untold to them all was the darkness blooming, the hunger that had opened its great maw within him.

demise had begun to stir and awake, and with koume and kotake’s gentle nudging, he fed upon the good intentions of ganondorf’s heart, until it had begun to thoroughly blacken, warping it. while believing it would be a new era of the gerudo to present his loyalty to the king, in the back of his mind, ganondorf had begun scheme. with nothing left within him, he hungered--he hungered for what he felt they deserved, he hungered for a land prosperous and for nights without a bone-cold ache, he hungered to fill the gnawing void within him that spoke to him in pitch darkness of what it was he needed to do to occupy it.

prior to his journey to hyrule castle, ganondorf took up his mother’s dagger, and cut away the long hair that was the mark of his people. years of careful tending fell away in choppy strands, dismissed as an act to show the king of his readiness for change, though quietly known, truly, what it was.

saddling his war horse, astor, for the long journey ahead, ganondorf departed with a pair of his royal guard at his side, and went into castle town alone, telling them to return home.

it would be the last time they would witness their king, and the last sight of him they would be able to relay back.

AGES 30-37.

at age thirty, ganondorf became a member of the king of hyrule’s court, kneeling before him to swear his fealty, and promising a golden future for them both. within but a handful of months, castle town was in ruins, and the king slain. if asked to recall the series of events that happened, ganondorf would, truthfully, be unable to say anything other than it was truly a blur. through eavesdropping did he discover a sacred relic right beneath his nose within hyrule itself--the triforce, a holy relic capable of granting the user any wish he may desire upon laying his hand upon it.

and, oh, the king’s foolish daughter. zelda. while even ganondorf hadn’t realized it in the beginning, her prophecy, the dream of dark clouds coming to consume their kingdom, was true--and his part to play in it was likewise his destiny, try as he may to change it. but a handful of years back, and the triforce in his hands may have not splintered off to its chosen bearers, however, as ganondorf stepped foot into the sacred realm and defiled it with his presence, there was little left of the young boy of the desert with a heart full of hope. arriving to hyrule and witnessing its bounty, taking in the greed of its denizens who found their blessings to be a mere given, ganondorf had been overwhelmed with his want. demise stirred, awake and starved, and ganondorf set his hand upon the triforce, its piece corrupting in his hand with the taint of demonic magic.

no longer would he attach himself to the title of ganondorf, king of the gerudo, for as his newfound power filled his spirit and gratified the hunger within him that had ached for so long, he was reborn. his monsters sweeping across the land of hyrule to seize it for his own purposes, he was the demon king ganondorf dragmire, the origin of evil as hyrule would always know him.

[kitkasimba]

A long time ago, I was tagged by the lovely @maybeicanbesaved​. Sorry for taking forever... Thank you!!! ♥

last:

1. drink - Milk.

2. phone call - A random phone number.

3. text message - Papa Murphy’s........ haha.

4. song you listened to - I’m listening to Twenty One Piolot’s new album Trench right now. The current song playing is Smithereens.

5. time you cried - Wednesday most likely.

ever:

6. dated someone twice?- Kind of.

7. kissed someone and regretted it - Oh yeah, but lesson learned, right?

8. been cheated on - Somewhat, yes.

9. lost someone special - Yeah...

10. been depressed - Yes...

11. gotten drunk and thrown up - Noooope!

fave colours:

12. Purple!

13. Burgundy!

14. Black!

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends - I have! I’ve become better friends with people, too.

16. fallen out of love - NO THANK YOU.

17. laughed until you cried - Ooooh yeah. Good times.

18. found out someone was talking about you - Yaaaa...

19. met someone who changed you - YES.

20. found out who your friends are - Oh yeah.

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list - Yeeeeaaaah...... hehe ;)

general:

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl - Like 95% of them.

23. do you have any pets - Three kitties: Callie, Aries, and Griffin.

24. do you want to change your name - I’ve grown to like it.

25. what did you do for your last birthday - My partner took me on some adventures with my best friend, I got a tattoo, I went to Coldstone for the first time, and we went to Red Robin for dinner!

26. what time did you wake up today - 7:52 am. I was waiting for @girrlscout​ to launch her new products around 8 am!

27. what were you doing at midnight last night - Driving home from work.

28. what is something you can’t wait for - For more free time... HAHA.

30. what are you listening to right now - Trench album by Twenty One Pilots.

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom - I guess you could say I have.

32. something that’s getting on your nerves - Work tbh. Lack of communication and low motivation.

33. most visited website - Google calendar, my email, and tumblr.

34. hair colour - Brown with golden and red highlights.

35. long or short hair - Medium. My hair is growing!

36. do you have a crush on someone - I’ve got a big ol’ crush on my human 😍💕

37. what do you like about yourself - I’m a fan of my nose, eyes, hair color, and my eyebrows have grown on me a lot over these past couple years.

38. want any piercings? - I think I’m content with what I’ve got... If I were to get anymore I think it would be a piercing or two on my left cartilage, but I’m good for now!

39. blood type - AB+

40. nicknames - Ash, Ashie, Pretty Kitty, Love, Nala, A-Dawg (previous supervisor), Ashley-Washley (parents), AshFlo. There are a couple others that I can’t recall.

41. relationship status - Suuuuper in love with my partner 💕 sooo.... taken :)

42. zodiac - Cancer, yooooo. I got the tattoo to prove it ;)

43. pronouns - She/Her/Hers.

44. fave tv shows - Pushing Daisies, Parks and Rec, B-99, The Bold Type, Jane the Virgin, Atypical, Stranger Things, Super Store, Riverdale, Bates Motel, The OA (I enjoyed it), Broadchurch, Scream, Broad City, The Good Place, Bob’s Burgers, Teen Titans, Over the Garden Wall, Avatar the Last Airbender, A Series of Unfortunate Events... and so many more. Those are just ones I’ve enjoyed recently (AND FOREVER).

45. tattoos - Okay, I have five total tattoos, but I want so many more! First one is my Lion King tattoo on my back, left shoulder. It’s the Rafiki drawing of Simba and around him in all caps it says, “Remember who you are in the Circle of Life”. Second one is on my left outer arm. It’s the constellation of cancer, which is my zodiac sign. Third one is on my right outer wrist. It’s a song title from JoJo’s album Mad Love, and it says, “I am.” Fourth one is on my left inner arm. It is an equilateral triangle that appears right-side up when I look at it but upside down when someone else looks at it. The bottom and left lines are black while the right side is a rainbow (or spectrum of color). Fifth one is on my right inner arm. The outline is the state of Oregon and inside is a picture of Tillamook Head at sunset, a photo I took in my home town on New Year’s Eve in 2014.

46. right or left handed - Right handed.

47. ever had surgery - Yes. Ankle

48. piercings - I have a hoop in my left nostril, triple helix with studs on my right ear, and a cartilage hoop on my left ear. Oh, and my lobes are pierced.. just once!

49. sports - I haven’t played sports since high school, but I enjoy them for fun from time to time. I enjoy badminton a lot!

50. vacation - I’ve been on quite a few. I’m going on one in two weeks with my fam to Crater Lake and Wildlife Safari.

51. trainers - I’m a Pokemon Trainer! ;) Team Valor, but Soul Instinct.

more general:

52. eating - Nothing at the moment. I’m craving some Chinese food though.

53. drinking - Nothing... I should drink some water.

54. i’m about to watch - I think I’m good for the moment. Earlier I watched the new episode of the Good Place and Superstore, though.

55. waiting for - My Love to get home so we can go get my cartilage jewelry changed.

56. want - Chinese food, a burger, financial stability... ya know, the simple things, hahaha.

57. get married - Someday 💕💕💕

58. career - Counselor someday? I dunno. I’ve been debating this a lot since I’ve graduated undergrad. I want to work with the LGBTQ+ community in some way though.

which is better:

59. hugs or kisses - I love hugs, a lot. Kisses are pretty great, too, though.

60. lips or eyes - Eyes.

61. shorter or taller - Taller, probs. I’m already fairly short, but average.

62. older or younger - Younger, but only like by 2 years though. Any younger and I feel weird about since my sister is 3 years younger than me.

63. nice arms or stomach - Neither? But if I had to choose I guess arms.

64. hookup or relationship - Relationship, please.

65. troublemaker or hesitant - Uhh.... hesitant, I guess?

have you ever:

66. kissed a stranger - Nah.

67. drank hard liquor - Yeah.

68. lost glasses - Unfortunately...

69. turned someone down - Yeeep.

70. sex on first date - No thanks.

71. broken someones heart - I think so.

72. had your heart broken - Oooooh yeah.

73. been arrested - Nope.

74. cried when someone died - Yeah.

75. fallen for a friend - Yeeeeaaah, SUCH FUN.

do you believe in:

76. yourself - I try....

77. miracles - I like to believe so.

78. love at first sight - Yes and no.

79. santa claus - not for a while now.

80. kiss on a first date - sure, if we click.

81. angels - Eh, sure.

other:

82. best friend’s name - They know who they are, and that’s all that matters.

83. eye colour - Brown.

84. fave movie - THE LION KING.

85. fave actor - JoJo, Logan Lerman, Demi Lovato. I’m not too invested in actors.

I’ll tag... @sass-and-chocolate, @golddipped, @khlovgoth, @heartinthesand, and @kitkatkat18 <3

[artificialskyway-archived]

92 Statements Tag

tagged by @i-mweakforchangkyun + @mikapeanut thank you, bbys! <3

Sorry that there aren’t 92 djsbkjrg BUT CLOSE ENOUGH.

Rules: You must answer these 92 statements and tag 20 (or however many you’d like) people!

The Last :

1. Drink: M: fruit punch Kool-Aid! R: waterrrr

2. Phone Call: M: my dad R: my mama

3. Text Message: M: Admin R lol R: my homegirl, K

4. Song You Listened To:  M: “Mystery Lover” by Taemin R: reflecting light x sam phillips

5. Time You Cried:  M: sunday i think? R: two days ago, tbh - i’m a big baby

6. Dated Someone Twice:  M: ugh dont remind me lol i think back in 2014? single ever since R: three times bc i was a dummyhead. lol 2010-2015

7. Kissed Someone And Regretted It:  M: nope R: oh yes, definitely. 

8. Been Cheated On:  M: not sure but at the same time im pretty sure R: twice, a few years back.

9. Lost Someone Special:  M: unfortunately R: mhm, in 2012.

10. Been Depressed: M: still dealing with my demons R: it comes and goes

11. Gotten Drunk And Thrown Up:  M: never R: thankfully the last time it was that bad was a year ago.

List 3 Favourite Colours (12-14):

M: grey, maroon, and black R: mint-green, black, + white

In The Last Year Have You:

15. Made New Friends:  M: yes! our lovely L.P. anon and many more! R: i definitely have! all thanks to kpop lol. 

16. Fallen Out Of Love: M: nope R: no

17. Laughed Until You Cried:  M: yes! lol R: oh most definitely! just happened yesterday; my best friend and i ended up on the floor in the middle of a payless shoe store laughing our asses off ‘til we cried. 

18. Found Out Someone Was Talking About You:  M: nope R: i dont remember? 

19. Met Someone Who Changed You: M: not really tbh R: in a way, yes. 

20. Found Out Who Your Friends Are:  M: yep R: mhm

21.Kissed Someone On Your Facebook List: M: lmao cx i dont even use fb anymore R: nope

General:

22. How Many Of Your Facebook Friends Do You Know IRL: M: one R: all of them lol. 

23. Do You Have Any Pets: M: yes! 2 dogs, 2 cats, and a hamster! R: two pups <3

24. Do You Want To Change Your Name: M: definitely..i would just shorten it to Moni lol R: i used to. but now it’s growing on me.

25: What Did You Do For Your Last Birthday: M: uh...tbh i dont remember, I have terrible memory R: spent it in washington with my fam.

26: What Time Did You Wake Up: M: 7:44 am R: 6:00am rip

27: What Were You Doing Last Night: M: sleeping...i went to bed at 7 pm R: hangin’ with my best friend

28. Name Something You Can’t Wait For: M: Paramore’s concert! R: my high school best friend’s wedding + going back to work (i miss my kiddos) + the paramore concert!

29. When Was The Last Time You Saw Your Mum: M: shit...i think october 2014?..long story R: last night

30. What Are You Listening To Right Now: M: EXO-M’s “MAMA”!! R: 4-ever x NB Ridaz ;; <3 (i’m feelin’ hella nostalgic today)

31. Have You Ever Talked To A Person Named Tom: M: nope R: thomas ? yes lol he didn’t like being called tom. 

32. Something That Gets On Your Nerves: M: lies R: those drivers that pull out into your lane and insist on driving 20 miles under the speed of traffic, like bruh pls stop that. 

33. Most Visited Website: M: tumblr and youtube R: ^^^ same, same.

34-36 were missing!

37. Hair Colour: M: brown-black R: dark brown

38. Long Or Short Hair: M: long R: long-ish

39. Do You Have A Crush On Someone: M: not atm R: nahh.

40. What Do You Like About Yourself: M: my intelligence..maybe my legs if we’re talking about physical R: my music taste, lmao and that’s it. 

41. Piercings: M: none R: zero.

42. Blood Type: M: no idea tbh lol R: i should know, but i don’t know. 

43. Nickname: M: moni..my dad calls me moosh R: ronnie, rons, ronron, bibi, i have a lot. 

44. Relationship Status: M: single asf (but happy) R: single

45. Zodiac: M: gemini R: gemini

46. Pronouns: M: she/ her R: she/her

47. Favourite TV Show: M: hm...gotta go with Leverage and Psych at a tie R: psych -- the #1 show of all time. 

48. Tattoos: M: none R: none, yet!

49. Right Or Left Handed: M: right-handed R: right

50. Surgery: M: none R: none

51. Piercings: M: R: already asked, lol. but y’know what??.these surveys remind of the good ‘ol myspace days where we would do these and post them to our bulletin, anyone know what i’m talkin’ about?? nostalgia is hittin’ hard. 

52. Sports: M: does dance count? probably not but oh well R: i used to play volleyball + hockey (not in a legit team but a bunch of us played for years in school together)

53. Vacation: M: just came back from one! R: currently, i want to go back to hawaii

54. Pair Of Trainers: M: uh...dont know what those are R: i got converse..

55. Eating: M: i ate a bunch of hot cheetos earlier? R: pizzaaaa

56. Drinking: M: i’m drinking water atm..i dont drink alcohol lol R: water

57. I’m About To: M: probably pee if im being honest..sorry for the tmi XD R: hug my dog rn bc she is lookin hella cute i need to hug her, brb.

58. Waiting For: M: nothing lol R: my best friend to come pick me up

60. Want: M: atm?...cuddles R: to dye my hair

61. Get Married: M: i hope to one day R: some day

62. Career: M: i hope to be a translator R: a children’s counselor

Which Is Better:

63. Hugs Or Kisses: M: hugs..but really..why not both? R: hugsssss

64. Lips Or Eyes: M: eyes R: lips

65. Shorter Or Taller: M: taller cuz im short asf R: taller

66. Older Or Younger: M: older R: older

67. Nice Arms Or Nice Stomach: M: arms! R: it doesn’t really matter, lol, i’ll choose arms tho

68. Hookup Or Relationship: M: relationship R: relationship

69. Troublemaker Or Hesitant: M: hesitant R: hesitant, with some impulsive tendencies

Have You Ever:

70. Kissed A Stranger: M: nope R: nah

71. Drank Hard Liquor: M: yep R: oh yes

72. Lost Glasses Or Contacts: M: oh  yea R: yep yep

73. Turned Someone Down: M: yep R: yeah

74. Sex On The First Date:  M: nope..never been on a date R: nah

75. Broken Someone’s Heart:  M:.....yes R: yup

76. Had Your Own Heart Broken:  M: oh yea R: yup

77. Been Arrested: M: nerp R: no

78. Cried When Someone Died:  M: definitely R: of course

79. Fallen For A Friend: M: ??? R: nope

Do You Believe In:

80. Yourself: M: sometimes..depends on what im doing R: i believe that i can find some hella good music to listen to

81. Miracles: M: yes R: yep

82. Love At First Sight: M: no R: i’m always on the fence on this; so, yes + no

83. Santa Claus: M: lol no R: bruh of course. 

84. Kiss On The First Date: M: sure if it feels right R: it depends

85. Angels: M: yes R: yep

Others:

86. Current Best Friends Name: M: Veronica :D R: kaitlynn; moni, elle, carina

87. Eye Colour: M: brown R: poop brown

88. Favourite Movie: M: V for Vendetta R: currently, kill bill!

We tag: @junyixinqs @got7doubleb @chambaeq @moedits @alicat-doodles @daddymarktuan . . anyone that sees this!

[i-like-your-genitalia]

You are going to kill me... buuut all 200 questions? I'm keeping you busy and thinking about your life

200: My crush’s name is: Jennifer 


199: I was born in: a hospital? (Jks 1998)


198: I am really: funny 


197: My cellphone company is: Lebara


196: My eye color is: boring ol’ brown 


195: My shoe size is: a ladies 9


194: My ring size is: I actually don’t know


193: My height is: 5'10 


192: I am allergic to: nothing surprisingly 


191: My 1st car was: 1998 Subaru Legacy (the station wagon)


190: My 1st job was: Checkout Worker


189: Last book you read: The Accident Man


188: My bed is: a king 


187: My pet: I don’t have one atm 


186: My best friend: Anushka 


185: My favorite shampoo is: I don’t have one (but I like anything coconut or tropical scented)


184: Xbox or ps3: don’t care 


183: Piggy banks are: lit


182: In my pockets: I’m a girl, only 20% of my clothes have pockets big enough to put anything in 


181: On my calendar: “Spotify Premium runs out on the 27th of August"


180: Marriage is: Not married 


179: Spongebob can: 


178: My mom: is awesome 


177: The last three songs I bought were? Whatever I listened to last on Spotify? 


176: Last YouTube video watched: review on Aztec clay face mask 


175: How many cousins do you have? 4 step cousins and then 6 blood related cousins 


174: Do you have any siblings? Just a younger sister 


173: Are your parents divorced? Nah they still together and in love 


172: Are you taller than your mom? Only just 


171: Do you play an instrument? I used to play the piano 


170: What did you do yesterday? Worked

[ I Believe In ]


169: Love at first sight: kinda 


168: Luck: yes 


167: Fate: not really 


166: Yourself: sometimes 


165: Aliens: yes 


164: Heaven: yes 


163: Hell: no 


162: God: yes 


161: Horoscopes: I mostly enjoy the zodiac memes and compatibility and personality horoscopes 


160: Soul mates: yes, but I believe you have more than one 


159: Ghosts: yes 


158: Gay Marriage: big yes 


157: War: nope


156: Orbs: it would be cool but I’m neutral 


155: Magic: yes

[ This or That ]


154: Hugs or Kisses: Hugs 


153: Drunk or High: Drunk 


152: Phone or Online: Online 


151: Red heads or Black haired: Red heads 


150: Blondes or Brunettes: Blondes 


149: Hot or cold: Hot 


148: Summer or winter: Summer 


147: Autumn or Spring: Autumn 


146: Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate 


145: Night or Day: Day 


144: Oranges or Apples: Oranges 


143: Curly or Straight hair: Curly 


142: McDonalds or Burger King: Maccas 


141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: Milk Chocolate 


140: Mac or PC: Mac


139: Flip flops or high heels: High Heels 


138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: Sweet and Poor 


137: Coke or Pepsi: Coke


136: Hillary or Obama: OBAMA


135: Burried or cremated: Cremated 


134: Singing or Dancing: Dancing 


133: Coach or Chanel: Chanel 


132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: who are they?


131: Small town or Big city: Big city 


130: Wal-Mart or Target: I haven’t been to either 


129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: Ben Stiller 


128: Manicure or Pedicure: Manicure 


127: East Coast or West Coast: East Coast 


126: Your Birthday or Christmas: this is too cruel to answer 


125: Chocolate or Flowers: Chocolate 


124: Disney or Six Flags: Disney 


123: Yankees or Red Sox: um don’t care

[ Here’s What I Think About ]


122: War: It’s expensive and unnecessary and should be a last resort. It’s not worth the lives lost, people injured and relocated. The monetary cost is ridiculous and it barley solves anything. It cause more issues and potentially more wars

121: George Bush: did 9/11


120: Gay Marriage: It’s actually crazy how long and how much effort it took to get this accepted. And I just hope this right isn’t taken away! 


119: The presidential election: Donald Trump and Pence need to die or be locked up forever, I don’t even understand how anyone thought that Hilary Clinton would be worse. 


118: Abortion: Pro-choice for the win 


117: MySpace: I wasn’t old enough for this 


116: Reality TV: my guilty pleasure tbh 


115: Parents: I love my parents and they are good to me. But it would be great if they could be less homophobic. 


114: Back stabbers: I don’t know why people feel the need to intentionally hurt and embarrass someone, especially someone who isn’t prepared for it or trusts you 


113: Ebay: I don’t really use eBay 


112: Facebook: I use it to tag my non tumblr friends in memes and to stalk people 


111: Work: I’m sick of my job but I’m having to stick it out for now. 


110: My Neighbors: They are seasonal but if their kids could not move and rearrange the bedroom at the ass crack of dawn that would be fantastic 


109: Gas Prices: New Zealand, especially in the towns. Gas prices are so high. Spain isn’t so bad


108: Designer Clothes: I’d rather have more clothes than one designer one 


107: College: 


106: Sports: I have zero hand eye coordination and therefore hate sports! But I will watch the Olympics 


105: My family: They are cool for the most part 


104: The future: is scary and it makes me wanna throw up if I think too much about it

[ Last time I ]


103: Hugged someone: like a week ago 


102: Last time you ate: I’m eating chocolate right now 


101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: my grandparents and my cousins today 


100: Cried in front of someone: it’s been forever 


99: Went to a movie theater: like a good 6-8 months ago


98: Took a vacation: ummm like 4 months ago 


97: Swam in a pool: yesterday 


96: Changed a diaper: not since my babysitting days 


95: Got my nails done: literally before I left New Zealand so 5 months ago


94: Went to a wedding: it’s been years 


93: Broke a bone: never actually broken anything in my body 


92: Got a peircing: I got my ears pieced when I was 12 


91: Broke the law: Probably when I was driving, speeding or something but nothing I've been charged with lmao


90: Texted: like a couple of hours ago

[ MISC ]


89: Who makes you laugh the most: my sister 


88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: having consistently good home cooked meals 


87: The last movie I saw: probably shrek 


86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: being back in New Zealand! Or doing some travelling 


85: The thing im not looking forward to: working 


84: People call me: gay
83: The most difficult thing to do is: be honest 
82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: I actually haven’t 


81: My zodiac sign is: Leo 


80: The first person i talked to today was: my girlfriend 


79: First time you had a crush: the first crush I remember, I was in year 4 (so 8 years old) and it was on this boy named Joseph 


78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: I’m good at hiding things tbh 


77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: my sister when my mum and dad were talking shit 


76: Right now I am talking to: my sister and my friends from New Zealand 


75: What are you going to do when you grow up: Hairdressing tho I kinda would like to do pre school/nursery/kindergarten teaching 


74: I have/will get a job: currently working as front of house at a little supermarket 


73: Tomorrow: I’m working and doing house work


72: Today: I slept and then worked 


71: Next Summer: I will hopefully be enjoying the sunshine 


70: Next Weekend: Working yet again and having dinner with my grandparents 


69: I have these pets: Definitely a cat, and also a dog 


68: The worst sound in the world: chalk or finger nails on a chalkboard 


67: The person that makes me cry the most is: myself 


66: People that make you happy: my sister, my friends and my girlfriend 


65: Last time I cried: when I watched beauty and the beast 


64: My friends are: absolutely incredible, I don’t deserve them


63: My computer is: I don’t have one anymore 


62: My School: I’m not in school 


61: My Car: I don’t have a car atm 


60: I lose all respect for people who: are snakes 


59: The movie I cried at was: beauty and the beast


58: Your hair color is: brown and boring 
57: TV shows you watch: Atm limitless, shooter, Shetland, Rewatching Criminal Minds, AHS and Black Mirror


56: Favorite web site: boohoo.com or iherb 


55: Your dream vacation: A cruise or a historical/relaxed tour of the ancient world 


54: The worst pain I was ever in was: in a tie between slamming my fingers in a car door or when I got a virus (it’s a really bad version of food poisoning) and I actually thought I was gonna die. 


53: How do you like your steak cooked: medium to well done 


52: My room is: relatively clean and currently got that minimal plant theme going 


51: My favorite celebrity is: Dua Lipa 


50: Where would you like to be: with @dysfunctionalgroup


49: Do you want children: yeah one day 


48: Ever been in love: yes 


47: Who’s your best friend: Anushka 


46: More guy friends or girl friends: it used to be a balance but now mostly girl friends 


45: One thing that makes you feel great is: cute underwear and a good nights sleep 


44: One person that you wish you could see right now:


43: Do you have a 5 year plan: yes


42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: mentally but it’s not written down anywhere 


41: Have you pre-named your children: no, but I have some names I really like lined up 


40: Last person I got mad at: my sister 


39: I would like to move to: the Uk or NZ 


38: I wish I was a professional:

[ My Favorites ]


37: Candy: Reece’s pieces or skittles 


36: Vehicle: Kinda want a Range Rover or a Land Rover but in the old style. Or a classic car


35: President: Obama


34: State visited: ive never been to America 


33: Cellphone provider: Lebara 


32: Athlete: my bio teacher, she played for a big women’s netball team 


31: Actor: Jensen Ackles 


30: Actress: Gal Gadot 


29: Singer: Dua Lipa


28: Band: The Internet

27: Clothing store: h&m or boohoo


26: Grocery store: I don’t have one 


25: TV show: Brooklyn 99


24: Movie: I have too many 


23: Website: this hell hole


22: Animal: Cats or Goats 


21: Theme park: I’ve only been to Disney 


20: Holiday: Christmas and Halloween 


19: Sport to watch: Gymnastics 


18: Sport to play: None


17: Magazine: who reads magazines anymore 


16: Book: the Mysterious Benedict Society 


15: Day of the week: Friday 


14: Beach: as long as it’s sandy I’m cool 


13: Concert attended: J Cole


12: Thing to cook: Pizza and Sweet and Sour Pork 


11: Food: Cheesburgers 


10: Restaurant: Any that sell food I like 


9: Radio station: ZM




8: Yankee candle scent: most of them




7: Perfume: Dolce and Gabbana, Floral Drops




6: Flower: forget me nots




5: Color: Green




4: Talk show host: don’t have a fave




3: Comedian: don’t have a fave




2: Dog breed: Border Collie




1: Did you answer all these truthfully? Guess you’ll never know

[hayffiebird]

Tag Game 92 truths

Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, write 92 truths about yourself and choose 25 people to tag. I was tagged by @ellanainthetardis Thank you!

LAST…

1. Drink: Pepsi 2. Phone call: My best friend 3. Text message: “Thank you gorgeous. I’ll see you soon!” 4. Song you listened to: “The Dragon’s Daughter”.’ A Game of thrones remix by Melodysheep. Don’t listen to it! Don’t! You’ll have it stuck in your head for the rest of your life! 5. Time you cried: Probably when watching a movie

HAVE YOU EVER…

6. Dated someone twice: No 7. Been cheated on: Thankfully no 8. Kissed someone and regretted it: No 9. Lost someone special: Yes 10. Been depressed: Yes, but mildly so 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: I’ve never been drunk. I have kinda crappy genes in that department. Both my grandfathers died from alcoholism when my parents were little. My father educated me a lot about it and I decided very early on that I’d never start drinking, since it can be genetic

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS:

12.Green 13. Gold 14. Blue

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU…

15. Made new friends: Yes! :D And two of them here on Tumblr 16. Fallen out of love: No 17. Laughed until you cried: All the time 18. Found out someone was talking about you: Not that I know of 19. Met someone who changed you: Yes but not in the last year 20. Found out who your true friends are: Same answer as the previous question 21. Kisses someone on your facebook list: Yep

GENERAL,

22. How many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: I think there’s like… 1 of them that I haven’t met IRL 23. Do you have any pets: Not these days but we used to have lots growing up. Cats and bunnies and chickens, fish and a dog and a white rat (my sister’s). There was even talk we’d get geese but dad decided on chickens instead. My sister’s got two dogs now 24. Do you want to change your name: No, I like my name :) 25. What did you do for your last birthday: I think a movie night with friends and dinner and ice cream with family. Back in the Hunger Games days I used to arrange food themed Hunger Games parties for about 6-9 friends watching the latest movie out. We spread out a snack buffet on different tables named Peeta’s bakery, Katniss’s Meadow, Hayffie’s love seat etc 😂 26. Time did you wake up: Just now. Around 10.45 a.m 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Danced at a wedding 28. Name something you cannot wait for: Summer. And my exhibition in the fall 29. When was the last time you saw your mother: 12 years ago. That’s a long, sad story for another time 30. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: I wish I had a self esteem that didn’t ride the roller coaster on me 31. What are you listening to right now: The ticking wall clock and a washing machine 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yes 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: Second winters in the spring 34. Most visited website: Tumblr, closely followed by good ol’ YouTube 35. Elementary: Is now in the past 36. High school: Times of sorrow, times of joy 37. College: A good time where I grew a lot as a person and adult 38. Hair colour: Light brown 39. Long or short hair: shoulder-length. Wish it was longer though 40. Do you have a crush on someone: No 41. What do you like about yourself? That I’ve always managed to keep my inner child and childish enthusiasm alive throughout the years 42. Piercing: Ears 43. Blood type: Er… I should know this, shouldn’t I? 44. Nickname: On here it’s Hayffiebird 45. Relationship: Single 46. Zodiac sign: Scorpio 47. Pronouns: She/her 48. Fav tv show: Game of thrones 49. Tattoos: No 50. Right or left handed: Right to write

FIRST…

51. Surgery: Once and I ain’t doing it again 52. Piercing: Ears. When I was seven 53. Best friend: We met when we were 16 54. Sport: Swimming 55. Vacation: I’d like to go to Venice 56. Pair of trainers: We’re talking shoes now, right? They’re geen, white and black

RIGHT NOW…

57. Eating: No, but we had a three course dinner last night 58. Drinking: Pepsi 59. I’m about to: Make the bed and maybe get some writing done while everyone’s asleep 60. Listening to: The everyday noises in a house 61. Waiting for: Maybe some breakfast 62. Want: Warmer weather 63. Get married: I think so. One day with the right person 64. Career: I work as a freelancer. Want to become a professional writer

WHICH IS BETTER…

65. Hugs or kisses: Hugs! You ever heard of the Swedish hug? We hug all the time. You met someone for the first time it’s Hello! (handshake) and Bye! (hug) 66. Lips or eyes: Eyes. But I once fell for a guy cause he had such gorgeous lips 67. Shorter or taller: Taller 68. Older or younger: In the middle? 69. Romantic or spontaneous: Romantic 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: Stomach 71. Sensitive or loud: Little bit of both 72. Hook up or relationship: Relationship 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: Whatever the situation demands

HAVE YOU EVER…

74. Kissed a stranger? No 75. Drank hard liquor? No 76. Loose glasses/contact lenses? I’m too poor to loose my glasses 77. Turned someone down? Yep, by the same guy who first turned me down. We’re still friends though 78. Sex on the first date? No 79. Broken someone’s heart? Not that I know of 80. Had your own heart broken? Half-broken 81. Been arrested? No 82. Cried when someone died? Yes 83. Fallen for a friend? Yep

DO YOU BELIEVE IN…

84. Yourself? Sometimes 85. Miracles? Yes 86. Love at first sight? I believe in lust at first sight 87. Santa claus? No 88. Kiss on the first date? It depends 89. Angels? Human angels, yes

OTHER…

90. Current best friend’s name: She got married yesterday! :D I was a bride’s maid 91. Eye colour: Dark brown like my father’s and grandmother’s 92. Favorite movie: Too many to mention them all. I’m a huge Stephen King fan. Into “Rose Red” and Ellen Rimbauer’s diary" a lot right now and “The curious case of Benjamin Button”

And we’ve reached the end. I tag @bainelland @maythestarsguidemyway @100years-to-live @star-galaxy @wildimaginings and you if you wanna to do it

[indigobxbe]

Answer me all 200 of those asks me boi

200: My crush’s name is: jake :)199: I was born in: michigan198: I am really: dumb197: My cellphone company is: virgin mobile196: My eye color is: poo brown195: My shoe size is: 7.5194: My ring size is: no ideA193: My height is: 5'5 now192: I am allergic to: gay shit191: My 1st car was: lol190: My 1st job was: i was like a busboy but girl then i was a hostess lmao yikes189: Last book you read: tkam188: My bed is: full of trash187: My pet: is a dog186: My best friend: doesnt know it185: My favorite shampoo is: really good184: Xbox or ps3: xbox?183: Piggy banks are: cute182: In my pockets: i have no pockets181: On my calendar: this month on the eight i have a thing says when my last nail broke :"(( i am thAt hoe(tm)180: Marriage is: gay179: Spongebob can: stop with the memes178: My mom: is short177: The last three songs I bought were? LOL176: Last YouTube video watched: moana film theory thing175: How many cousins do you have? like 7?? i dont know all of the ones in mexico so its probably more174: Do you have any siblings? 6173: Are your parents divorced? yea lol172: Are you taller than your mom? yES171: Do you play an instrument? clarinetty170: What did you do yesterday? went to the park &dyed eggs[ I Believe In ]169: Love at first sight: not really lol168: Luck: no167: Fate: hhhhhyeah??166: Yourself:n o165: Aliens: yes164: Heaven: no163: Hell: nno162: God: no161: Horoscopes: no but i still read mine160: Soul mates: hhhhlogically no159: Ghosts: unsure158: Gay Marriage: oh not at all 157: War: idkdude156: Orbs: whathefuckisanorb155: Magic: not really[ This or That ]154: Hugs or Kisses: hugs153: Drunk or High: drunk152: Phone or Online: phone lol151: Red heads or Black haired: black150: Blondes or Brunettes: brunettes149: Hot or cold: hot148: Summer or winter: summer147: Autumn or Spring: spring146: Chocolate or vanilla: vanilla145: Night or Day: night144: Oranges or Apples: apples143: Curly or Straight hair: i think curly hair is so prettydsklnffn142: McDonalds or Burger King: bk141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: milk chocolate140: Mac or PC: no preference139: Flip flops or high heals: neither?138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: fuckidk137: Coke or Pepsi: pepsi136: Hillary or Obama: obama135: Burried or cremated: cremated and then buried :)134: Singing or Dancing: both?why not133: Coach or Chanel: i d ont really care132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: who131: Small town or Big city: big city pls130: Wal-Mart or Target: target129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: idk who the first is but i hate adam sandler128: Manicure or Pedicure: manicure, ,feet r gross127: East Coast or West Coast: east126: Your Birthday or Christmas: christmas125: Chocolate or Flowers: flowers124: Disney or Six Flags: disney123: Yankees or Red Sox: ewsports[ Here’s What I Think About ]122: War: its unnecessary most of the time lol121: George Bush: who120: Gay Marriage: hehgay119: The presidential election: heck trump my dude118: Abortion: sometimes u need that ykno117: MySpace: yeet116: Reality TV: guilty pleasure115: Parents: they try? questionably?114: Back stabbers:can heck off113: Ebay: useful112: Facebook: i h a te it111: Work:i want a job :(110: My Neighbors: white trash109: Gas Prices: idkdude108: Designer Clothes: why spend $300 when u can spend $20107: College: i want to go 106: Sports: succ105: My family:succs104: The future: scary[ Last time I ]103: Hugged someone: i think last night102: Last time you ate: few hours ago101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: today100: Cried in front of someone: tuesday lmao sry mrs jarrad99: Went to a movie theater: like a monht ago98: Took a vacation: like four years ago97: Swam in a pool: last year96: Changed a diaper: two(??) years ago95: Got my nails done: few months ago94: Went to a wedding: like a year ago93: Broke a bone: never have92: Got a peircing: last april91: Broke the law: thursday90: Texted: currently[ MISC ]89: Who makes you laugh the most: myself dfkkjdn88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: my sister87: The last movie I saw: doctor strange86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: 4/2085: The thing im not looking forward to: facing consequences 84: People call me: bel , bella , belly , isabel ew83: The most difficult thing to do is:wake up every morning 82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: false81: My zodiac sign is: capricorn80: The first person i talked to today was: my mom79: First time you had a crush: like third grade shdifjno78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: no one?77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: no idea 76: Right now I am talking to: friends75: What are you going to do when you grow up: suffer74: I have/will get a job: eventually 73: Tomorrow: i go to school72: Today: i suffer 71: Next Summer: hopefully wont be horrible70: Next Weekend: get to hang out w chill brother?69: I have these pets: 3 dog68: The worst sound in the world: me talking67: The person that makes me cry the most is: myself kwjqd66: People that make you happy: anyone that pays attention to me ojpwefo65: Last time I cried: tuesday64: My friends are: gay63: My computer is: suffering62: My School: is fucking gross61: My Car: doesnt exist60: I lose all respect for people who: are condescending 59: The movie I cried at was: perksofbeingawallflower lol58: Your hair color is: brown57: TV shows you watch: the office , voltron , stranger things , bobs burgers 56: Favorite web site: tumbler (dot)com55: Your dream vacation:farfar away54: The worst pain I was ever in was: in my head lol53: How do you like your steak cooked:i cant eat it lol52: My room is: dirty51: My favorite celebrity is: brian sella counts?50: Where would you like to be: a better place49: Do you want children: meh not really?48: Ever been in love: ye 47: Who’s your best friend: probably teara lol46: More guy friends or girl friends: girl45: One thing that makes you feel great is: personal lol44: One person that you wish you could see right now: hotass43: Do you have a 5 year plan: i dont even have a plan 4 tomorrow42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: no41: Have you pre-named your children: 40: Last person I got mad at: my brother39: I would like to move to: penn?38: I wish I was a professional: anything tbh[ My Favorites ]37: Candy: starbursts36: Vehicle: idkdude35: President: obama34: State visited: prbly texas bc we went thru it to mexico & we saw a big ol light up ferris wheel33: Cellphone provider: i dont know dude 32: Athlete: lol31: Actor: dwaynetherockjohnson30: Actress: ?whoknows29: Singer: does joji count?28: Band: car seat headrest atm27: Clothing store: heck if i knew 26: Grocery store: ?25: TV show: the office24: Movie: moana23: Website: already answered this?22: Animal: me21: Theme park: C E Dar point20: Holiday: halloween19: Sport to watch: soccer actually18: Sport to play: none lol17: Magazine: no16: Book: no15: Day of the week: saturdays14: Beach: idk dude any on lake michigan is lit13: Concert attended: havent been to any :"(12: Thing to cook: idk dude11: Food: french Fry10: Restaurant: whoknnows9: Radio station: i dont /really/ like any ive heard8: Yankee candle scent: idkdude7: Perfume: b&bw tahitian island dream? smthn like that 6: Flower: i actually like regular red roses tbh5: Color: purple4: Talk show host: hhidk 3: Comedian: me2: Dog breed: call me a weaboo but i love the shibe1: Did you answer all these truthfully? no loli am so sorry to anyone who has this on their dash omgty for the ask mommy :)

[xendrassk]

Munday meme:

Rules: Answer the twenty-three questions and then tag twenty people you want to get to know better!(you know I ain’t got 23 people to tag...😂)

•Name: Vanessa aka paradox raven

•Zodiac Sign: Libra♎️(my bday is this week 😁)

•Height: 5’8 (The sad thing is, I want to be taller...)

•Languages Spoken: Plain ol’ English

•Nationality: I’m a mutt(Choctaw, Cherokee, Italian, Lithuanian, African-American...also 1% Syrian and Iranian...who knew? 😁👍)

•Favorite Fruit: pomegranates and apples...I still can’t decide...wait...apples

•Favorite Scent: floral and mint but I like woodsy earthy tones more

•Favorite Color:Blue...and many shades of blue.

•Favorite Animal: I’m a cat person...

•Favorite Fictional Character(s):...how much time do we have? 😂

Vergil(original dmc, but the reboot is starting to grow on me) ,Vincent Valentine, Ansem seeker of Darkness, Dante(original dmc series), Kilik(Soul calibur series), Siegfried(Soul Calibur series), Ichigo Kurosaki(Bleach), Hollow Zangetsu and old man Zangetsu[Ywhach incarnation](Bleach)...and that’s just to name a few...

•Dream Trip: Japan, Italy, maybe just a road trip here in the states...

•When Was Your Blog Created: 2014. I didn’t know what to do then and still don’t know what this blog is suppose to be...

•Last Movie Seen:Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead men tell no tales

•Songs You’ve Had On Repeat: Nothing can be explained(instrumental)-Bleach ost

•Favorite Candy: Caramel, but I haven’t had candy in a while...may that will change soon with Halloween 😂

•Favorite Holiday: it has dawned on me the older I get, the less I care about the holidays...

•Random Fact About You (One): I’m a vegetarian for the past 16 years (went vegan for about 2 years and want to go back to it)

•Random Fact About You (Two): I really don’t like dogs(sorry dog folks)

•Random Fact About You (Three): in culinary school, my classmates called me V... that’s right, they called me V because remembering Vaan, or Ness was too difficult(sarcasm intensifies...)

Tagging: Anyone who feels motivated enough to do this...

[4lpha-w0lf69]

1. Last beverage: canada dry?

2. Last phone call: my mama :]]

3. Last song you listened to: Fat lip - sum41

4. Last time you cried: I’m not a wuss :/

5. Have you dated someone twice: No...

6. Have you ever been cheated on: Uh, no?

7. Kissed someone & regretted it: That fucking cat...

8. Have you lost someone special: My cat Mr.Whiskers :[

9. What are your three favorite colors: Red, Brown, Black

10. Met someone who changed you in the past month: Deon!

11. Kissed anyone on your friends list: >_> 

12. How many kids do you want: A pack!!

13. Do you want any pets: Wish I had a dog

14. Do you want to change your name: Hunter is the best name and Bacon is the best nickname! How could u emprove?

15. What did you do for your last birthday: Spent it at mom&dad’s with Nora!! I also had some of the guys from the team hangin’ out.

16. What time did you wake up today: 5:45 am, bright eyed and bushy tailed :]

17. Name something you CANNOT wait for: School to fucking end.

18. Last time you saw your mother: Over the weekend-

19. Most visited webpage: This one

20. Nicknames: Bacon, Coolest dude around ;]

21. Relationship status: Single.

22. Zodiac sign: Aries

23. Male or female: Alpha Male!

24. Height: 6′3 and growing.

25. Do you have a crush on someone: :’]]]]

26. Piercings: 2 per ear, my nose, my tongue. Plan on getting .... :] 

27. Tattoos: None yet!

28. Strong or Weak: The strongest around!

FIRSTS 29. First surgery: Eh, I’ve never had a surgery

30. First best friend: Eggs! He still is, but also Deon is too now :]

31. First sport you joined: Football.

32. First vacation: The family cabin up north!

33. First school: Clarence-Rockwell Elementary,

34. First pair of trainers: Converse

WHICH IS BETTER 35. Lips or eyes: Eyes. I have a thing for pretty n cool eyes :]]

36. Hugs or kisses: Cuddles??? 

37. Shorter or taller: Not taller than me!

38. Older or younger: Older

39. Romantic or spontaneous: Romantic? But I’m p spontaneous :]

40. Sensitive or loud: wtf does this even mean lol?

41. Hook-up or relationship: Hookin’ up is fun, but i’d be down for somethin’ more :]

42. Shy or outgoing: Outgoing

HAVE YOU EVER 43. Kissed a stranger: No.

44. Gotten a speeding ticket: On the highway once-

45. Lost glasses/contacts: Don’t need em.

46. Sex on first date: hahahahaha

47. Broken someone's heart: I dunno?

48. Been arrested: No

49. Have you turned someone down: Yes

50. Fallen for a friend: I am not 100% sure yet. :{

51. Moved out of town: Not out of town, but into a forest :]

BELIEVE IN 52. Miracles: No that shit bogus.

53. Love at first sight: I do :]

54. Heaven: No

55. Santa Claus: No. How the fuck would he fit in a chimney? And that is a LOT of cookies for one man to consume in one night. He’d be too heavy for the sleigh even w the reindeer pushing it. Plus I know for a fact that santa has the same hand writing as my mom. >:/

56. Kiss on the first date: Yes

57. Angels: Like the team? 58. Yourself: I’m the best footbal player & alpha in town!

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY 59. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: No I’m loyal like a woooolf

60. Been in love with someone you couldn't be with?: damn.

61. Ever cheated on somebody: No

62. If you could go back in time, how far would you go?: Oh to be a little guy runnin’ around without having to worry about shit like paying for his car, wifi, and when the next full moon is gonna come....

63. Are you afraid of falling in love: Nahw

64. Was your last relationship a mistake? I think that people do things for a reason, and even if you move on... It isn’t a mistake. It happened that way for a reason, and you probably learnt something from it.

65. Do you miss your last relationship? No

66. Who did you last say “i love you” to? Nora

67. Have you ever been depressed? Haha nights at the cabin is rough :’]

68. Are you insecure? I think i’m pretty confident?

69. How do you want to die? Something really epic like a brawl to the death protecting someone I care about. 

70. Do you bite your nails? No 71. When was your last physical fight? Oh! At school the other day I got into a fight w someone in the change room for saying i’m hairier than big foot. FIrst off i’m only a size 13, and secondly IM NOT THAT BAD-

72. Do you have an attitude? The school counselor, principal and coach all seem to think so.

73. Twirl or cut your spaghetti? SUCK IT ALL UP IN ONE BIG BITE

74. Do you tan a lot? I naturally have one.

75. Ever eaten food in a car while someone or you are driving? Yeah, I hit up mcdicks or BK and grab a bite and eat it on the road all the time. Maybe i should clean out the back of ol’ sandy-

76. Ever made out in a bathroom? hhahaha :]

77. Would you take any of your exes back? Why?

78. Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? I don’t feel any actual need to.

79. What are your plans for this weekend? Hopfully a party with lots of liquor!

80. Do you type fast? I have big hands so that is kinda hard.....

81. Can you spell well? yeah of caurse i can!

82: What are you craving right now? Deer steak

83. Have you ever been on a horse? No

84. Would you live with someone without marrying them? Yeah why not???

85. What’s irritating you right now? A white haired little bitch-

86. Have you ever liked someone so much that it hurts? yah. :{

87. Does somebody love you? My family does. Especially my lil sis Nora!!

88. Have you ever changed clothes in a car? I’ve had to-

89. Milk chocolate or white chocolate? Milk chocolate all the way

90. Do you have trust issues? Nope!

91. Longest relationship? Haha;;;;

92: Do you believe your most recent ex thinks about you? :]

93. Have you ever walked outside in your PJs? By accident yeah. Good thing I live in a forest alone. Cause my PJs are often just me being naked.

94. Do you believe everything happens for a reason? Yeah kinda?

95. Did you have dream last night? Yeah! I sometimes have really epic ones

96. Have you ever been out of state? Sure

97. Do you play the Wii? I have a DS for pokemon and animal crossing. 

98. Do you like Chinese food? Yeah it’s p good. Who gave em the right?

99. Are you afraid of the dark? That’s when I thrive! 100. Is cheating ever okay? No.

101. What year has been your best? I’m hoping 2006 cause I want this to be the best : ]

102. Do you believe in true love? Yes.

103. Favorite weather? Fall, nice and brisk.

104. Do you like the snow? Yes

105. Do you like the outside? I LIVE TO BE OUTDOORS!

106. Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? Uh, Maybe :L

107. Have you ever made out for more than a half hour straight? Nope.

108. What makes you happy? Sports, Nora, My friends :] being active.....

109. Ever been to Alaska? No

110. Ever been to Hawaii? N0

111. Do you watch the news? Sometimes, but like they say all kinds of fucked up shit. Not easy to take lightly when u live alone.

112. Do you love MTV? I like MTV cribs-

113. Do you like subway? like the trains or the sandwich? Because yes.

114 Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? eh, no.

115. Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? I don’t know that I have one of those.

116. Why did you decide to do this quiz? I’m bored!!!! This cabin is lonely at night :[

117. Have you ever seen someone you knew and purposely avoided them? Yeah. Charlie &Piper....

118. Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? Just my little sis. or my cousin Cass!

119. Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? I texted Cass-

120. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? Deon.

121. Ever bought condoms? LMao yeah.

122. Ever gotten pregnant? I’m a guy?????

123. Have you ever slipped on ice? Yeah, but we don’t talk about that. For most people it’s called a ‘tail-bone’ that gets cracked. For me it’s more like a whole tail cracking.

124 Have you ever missed the bus? No, I drive.

125. Have you left the house without money? I always have whatever is in my account from workin at the shop.

126. Have you ever smoked cigarettes? Nope! I like healthy lungs-

127. Have you ever smoked a cigar? NO.

128. Did you ever drink alcohol? Yeah, I’m always the one who has to go buying it. 129. Did you ever watch “The Breakfast Club”? The one where the dude gets the girl and fist pumps the air on the football field??? Yeah thats my fuckin’ goals!

130. Have you ever been overweight? No i”m just heavy cause muscle weighs more than fat! :[ 131. Ever been to a wedding? Yeh

132. Ever been in a wedding?  don’t think so.

133. Have you ever been on the computer for 5 hours straight? Naw, not unless I’m in a intense convo w someone.

134. Did you ever watch TV for 5 hours straight? That’s TOO LONG!

135. Ever kissed in the rain? I want to....

136. Did you ever shower with someone else? Nope.

137. Did you ever fail a driver’s test? No, I’m basically a car expert

138. Ever been outside your home country? No

139. Ever been on a road trip longer than 5 hours? Yes with my family going up to the family cabin.

140. Ever been to a professional sports game? Yeah, who do u think ur talking to!?

141. Have you ever broken a bone? When I was younger I broke my arm a few times.

142. Did you ever win a trophy in your life? HELL YAH!

143. Ever get engaged? Noooo.

144. Have you ever been on a diet? I don’t need one!

145. Have you ever been on TV? When the team goes into finals-

146. Ever ridden in a taxi? Who needs to when u have a car.

147. Ever been to prom? Not yet!

148. Ever stayed up for 24 hours or more? Yeah, full moons can be rough on the bod.....

149 Have you ever been to a concert? Yes

150. Have you ever had a crush on someone at work? Ew on the old man at the shop? No thanks....

151. Have you ever been in a car accident? Kinda, I wound up in the ditch-

152. Ever had braces? No

153. Did you ever learn another language? hablo español e ingles

154. Do you wear make-up? NO???

155. Did you ever have your wisdom teeth taken out? Nope! My strong teeth all stay put!

156. Did you ever kiss someone a different race than yourself? Yes

157. Ever dyed your hair? No, but my hair did start turning grey recently...

158. Did you ever wear someone else’s clothes? They wouldn’t fit lmao.

159. Ever ridden in an ambulance? Yes, and I  got to ride first class on the gurney! : ] 

160. Ever ridden in a helicopter? Nope!

161. Ever caught the stove on fire? Yes, almost burnt the cabin down! Don’t tell mom!

162. Ever meet someone famous? NO :[ 

163. Ever been on an airplane? Yes

164. Ever been on a boat? Ye

165. Ever broken something expensive? My mom would get mad if I reminded her of this-

166. Did you ever kiss someone before you were 14? No.

167. Did you ever find something valuable on the ground? I found a dead pigeon once. I often find cool animal carcasses

[solidsmack]

SkillCoach is a new series where Product Dev. Professional, Vince Haley, provides a virtual design critique of a new design or submission we’ve received. Give us your feedback in the comments! Connect with Vince on Linkedin here. Have a design you would like to submit for a review and critique? Contact us here.

Welcome to the SkillCoach series! I’m Vince Haley and, though you’ve seen my writing here on SolidSmack, I’ve been in the consumer product industry for years in roles such as Principal Industrial Designer, Lead Product Designer, and Lead Design Engineer to name a few. I’ve also taught ID at multiple universities. It’s an honor to use this experience to help others grow their skills in order to make their ideas come to life!

Todays Virtual Design Critique (VDC) will focus on IKEA’s INGOLF bar stool and how the DNA of the product has shifted in these latter stages of its product lifecycle. This VDC will be a Then & Now design assessment. I’ll seek to root out some of the factors that have caused the INGOLF product to take a hit in the eyes of consumers from a perceived quality perspective. My hunch is, the economic pressures associated with logistics, cost of goods (COGs), and new product styles entering the mix are the culprits.

Part of my aim in this VDC is to raise awareness and ready young designers to embrace the portions of the project brief that may seem inconsequential or mundane in the early phases of the design process. Truth be told, failing to consider these three can be the demise of the greatest of ideas right out of the gate.

Before diving into the crit,  here’s a big ol’ shout-out to Carina Bengs the creative force behind the design of the massively successful INGOLF Seating Collection for IKEA. As furniture and styles go, the longevity of this product offering is truly amazing. As best I can tell the product launched sometime in 2006 and is still available in IKEA retail outlets around the globe! Since securing a student internship with IKEA over 30 years ago, Carina has designed a wide range of product for the home decor giant. Owing to her, many of our homes have been graced with furnishings that are both functional and timeless in style.  As for the INGOLF chair and barstool, without a doubt a whole lot of bottoms have been “sitting pretty” for quite some time!

Designer’s Vision

How do you think when you design and how would you describe your design style? – I work according to a need. I have done a lot of traditional furniture and work hard in wood because I have a great deal of knowledge about the material. I am sometimes inspired by old objects, but I am very much about creating something new and giving the traditional a more modern expression and thoughtful details. Timeless forms create security and recognition, I like it. I strive to make products that can live long in the home. Almost daily, I get feedback from customers who live with and love their furniture. That’s what drives me and encourages to make really good products.” –

Source: 2013 IKEA Designer Portrait Interview

  Early generation INGOLF consumer assembly experience

IKEA INGOLF ’17 Product Description

The INGOLF series looks just as nice in the kitchen and dining room as in the bedroom or hallway. The solid wood construction holds up well.

You sit comfortably thanks to the high back.

Solid wood is a durable natural material.

Chair – Solid pine, Stain, Clear acrylic lacquer

Seat – Solid pine

Footrest – Steel, Powder coating

Size – 24 3/4 ” & 29 1/8 ” high

Assembly & Documentation

Only the latest version of the documents is available for download. This means that there maybe a difference in this version and the printed version.

402.485.13 – 2017 Assembly Manual (PDF)

2007 Original Design Assembly Manual (PDF)

 Good to know

For maximum quality, re-tighten the screws about two weeks after assembly.

May be completed with FIXA self-adhesive floor protectors to protect the underlying surface against wear.

This chair has been tested for home use and meets the requirements for durability and safety, set forth in the following standards: EN 12520 and EN 1022.

Care instructions

Wipe clean using a damp cloth and a mild cleaner.

Wipe dry with a clean cloth.

Design Discoveries & Observations

The product life-cycle changes associated with the IKEA INGOLF chair came to my attention by way of a recent Gumtree purchase. BTW, here in Australia Gumtree is the equivalent to Craigslist. My wife had been keeping an eye out for a set of lightly used IKEA bar stools. When two INGOLF stools came available we gobbled them up believing that an additional two would list in short order. We were right, in less than a month a friend was making his way through the bustling Sydney traffic to pick up three of our awaited prizes!

Upon arrival, we immediately noticed one glaring difference. The new stools were a good 4 inch taller! This  was a purchasing oversight on our part. Nonetheless, what to do? Well being somewhat savvy at woodworking myself, I said “No problem, I can take care of that in short order!”

When I moved closer to size up the task several other design differences became readily apparent. For example, although the new stools were taller they felt much lighter in weight when I picked one up. I also noticed fasteners where the first set had none. In addition, the inferior fit between components quite noticeable.  Finally, the finish lacked the rich luster of the first two stools. Emphatically I declared “COST REDUCTION!” My designers mind was set into motion surmising the sales and distribution pressures that have come to bare on this classic IKEA product offering.

In the life span of a product there are numerous factors that necessitate reducing cost. The remainder of this VDC will highlight the “Then & Now” changes and the ultimate impact they have on the consumer experience.

Factor One – Logistic

A quick glance at the product code on the underside of the seats told me that the Carina Beng original and my favored stool were mfg. ’15 week 21 out of Thailand, while the cost reduced model was mfg. ’16 week 26 out of Bulgaria. From this we learn that IKEA was able to manage the cost of goods for roughly nine years before needing deviate from the original design intent. Apparently the Bulgarian mfg. site is able to manufacture and distribute the revised INGOLF stools in a more cost effective manner than the Thailand facility.

Factor Two – Design

The original design and detailing of the INGOLF nicely balanced the needs and aspiration of the end consumer and most certainly was the right value proposition for IKEA. While the flatpack requirement may not have been optimized, The component breakout made assembly the most simple and straight forward from a consumer perspective. Enough mfg. wiggle room apparently was planned in order to optimize the flat-packing of the product down the road. The fit and finish of all components were stellar at product launch and onward making the INGOLF stools highly desirable.

Yet over time as new products came online and cost of good increased the need for cost reductions obviously became inevitable perhaps signaling the INGOLf chair is at the latter stages of it life-cycle. For me the differences of the actual and perceived quality shift was like night and day. Also judging by the dip in product review ratings on IKEA’s site other consumers have discerned the shift and are experience the pains.

Cheap Quality – Maddie2003

“I bought (2) INGOLF bar stools about a year ago and wanted to add a third to our house. The new models lack a back leg support, have smaller backs, and are so much lighter (read: they feel flimsy) that none of us adults felt comfortable sitting in it. These new ones are a FAR CRY from the sturdy, solidly built ones of just a year ago. I’m VERY disappointed and will be returning this.”

✘ No, I do not recommend this product – (7 months ago)

  Reduce quality – Poornima J

“I bought the exact same model 3 years ago. Few weeks back we decided we want to get an additional one but were very disappointed with the quality. They’ve downsized on the quality, We are even scared to sit on it for fear of breaking.”

✘ No, I do not recommend this product. – (7 months ago)

Obviously from these recent rating the INGOLF product offering has taken big hit with regard to customer confidence and satisfaction. Have a look at the collection of images I snapped and see how readily you can pick out the shift in fit, function, and aesthetic appeal.

#gallery-0-5 { margin: auto; } #gallery-0-5 .gallery-item { float: left; margin-top: 10px; text-align: center; width: 25%; } #gallery-0-5 img { border: 2px solid #cfcfcf; } #gallery-0-5 .gallery-caption { margin-left: 0; } /* see gallery_shortcode() in wp-includes/media.php */

THEN & NOW – leg detailing

NOW – Edge detailing varies in quality.

NOW – Soft Pine used throughout product

NOW – X brace assembled by consumer thus mounting sockets are larger and have gaps.

THEN – Backrest curvature conforms to body nicely.

THEN – X brace precise in fit and finish

THEN & NOW – Note difference in edge finish of seatpans

THEN – Topcoat finish smooth and consistant.

NOW – Shift to plastic hardware

THEN – Metal hardware more robust

NOW – Visible Screws

NOW – Addition tolerance has been built in owing to more parts needing to be assembled by consumer. The result, undesirable gaps

SkillCoach Custom modification!

THEN – Precise crisp edge detailing.

THEN – Precision Fit of components

NOW – Wood soaks in finish and woodgrain very apparent

NOW – Curvature of backrest reduced to save space in packing

NOW – Low reflectivity as coarse grain shows through finish

THEN – Note sheen and reflection as light moves across surface.

THEN & NOW – back lower stretch removed on ’16 onward builds.

My take-away is on the whole, IKEA does a great job of minimizing the adverse DNA altering effects of their products over the course of its given life-cycle.  Without a doubt, IKEA is a company that has mastered the remixing of design, manufacturing, cost of goods, and customer service to generate fresh, compeling home decor solutions.

I trust this Virtual Design Critique of the IKEA INGOLF bar stool collection has given us all as consumers fresh insight into the hows and whys that products shift in quality, aesthetic appeal, and availability over time. If you are a designer, I hope you’ve been inspired to approach designing with these multi-faceted product life-cycle requirements at the onset of your projects. – Until next time, SkillCoach!

SkillCoach | IKEA INGOLF Bar Stool – Virtual Design Critique SkillCoach is a new series where Product Dev. Professional, Vince Haley, provides a virtual design critique of a new design or submission we've received.

[doom-ocean]

One of them blog surveys

Haven't done one of these in a while. Instead of having people ask me from a list of questions, I'm gonna do it old school and just answer all the questions listed. 1: How tall or short do you wish you were? I am fine with being 6 foot even 2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not) Do infinite wish granting genies count? 3: Do you have a favorite clothing style? plain ol jeans n tshirt 4: What was your favorite video game growing up? Star Ocean 2. 88 different fuckin endings! 5: What three things/people do you think of most each day: not being sober, hating life, aaaaaaaaaaaaaand I dunno, food. 6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say? WARNING: MONSTROUS ASSHOLE 7: What is your opinion on [insert person/thing here]? n/a 8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic]: Unsurprisingly, melancholic. 9: Are you ticklish? Yes. 10: Are you allergic to anything? Stupidity! lololololololol. But actually, kind of allergic to the tree fluff in the spring, and possibly sunlight. I get lil hives in the summer time. 11: What’s your sexuality? Het'roseksuel 12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa? Neither 13: Are you a cat or dog person? Cats over dogs. 14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson? Vampire, I guess. 15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber? No. 16: How tall are you? 6ft 17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to? Farty McCrablice 18: How much do you weigh? been hovering in the 170s for a little while. Heaviest I've ever been. It's a big achievement for someone who has been disgustingly skinny his whol life. 19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits? Tricky question. I'm like 90% sure I lived in a haunted house for a year, but haven't experienced much since then. 20: Do you like space or the ocean more? Both are equally terrifying, but space is cooler than the ocean, for sure. 21: Are you religious? Not at all. 22: Pet peeves? lol just about everything. So fuckin sick of it all. 23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal: Yes. 24: Favorite constellation? All are fine. Stars are neat to look at regardless of their formation from our perspective. 25: Favorite star? Betelgeuse. Only because every time I go outside at night I look up to see if it has exploded yet. 26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls? uhhh... what? 27: Any phobias or fears? Drowning, falling, flying stinging insects. butterflies and moths. 28: Do you think global warming is real? It is, though I don't think it is as bad as hippies are trying to get us to believe. I grew up in a time where smoking indoors [including malls] was normal, so I know that a lot of smoke that can't leave combined with heat = more heat. On that note, China and India need to get their shit together. Carbon taxes are fucking stupid. 29: Do you believe in reincarnation? No, but it'd be cool to get another chance at life since I fucked this one up. 30: Favorite movie? None at the moment. Used to be Goonies. 31: Do you get scared easily? Not really. 32: How many pets have you owned in your lifetime? 3 kitties. 33: Blog rate? n/a 34: What is a color that calms you? smoked cannabis green. 35: Where would you like to travel and/or live? Meh, the way the world is going, nowhere is worth visiting. 36: Where were you born? Canada. 37: What is your eye color? Blue. 38: Introvert or extrovert? intro. 39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs? Lol no. The position of the stars millions/billions of lightyears away ha no affect on a persons personality. 40: Hugs or kisses? I've gone many a year without either, and have grown accustomed to the lack of physical contact. The idea of either of those weirds me out, now. 41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now? My best friend. 42: Who is someone you love deeply? n/a 43: Any piercings you want? had both my ears and my dingdong pierced at one point. Not any more. 44: Do you like tattoos and piercings? 10 years ago. 45: Do you smoke or have you eiver done so? I smoked cigarettes for 13 years, switched to a vaporizer a year ago. 46: Talk about your crush, if you have one! n/a 47: What is a sound you really hate? metal scraping on metal/stone/ceramic. Harley Davidson motorcycles. 48: A sound you really love? Fart sounds. I will never not laugh at them. 49: Can you do a backflip? No. 50: Can you do the splits? Lol no. 51: Favorite actor and/or actress? n/a 52: Favorite movie? already asked. 53: How are you feeling right now? Sober and gassy. 54: What color would you like your hair to be right now? The way it is. 55: When did you feel happiest? Happiness is incidental and temporary. 56: Something that calms you down? the tweeds. 57: Have any mental disorders? some form of depression. Not going to find out as therapists are by and large feminist and I'd rather not be told I'm depressed because of my masculinity. Could you imagine if a therapist told a gay dude he'd be happier if he stopped acting so gay? Yeah. 58: What does your URL mean? I like doom metal, and the ocean is a common theme within the genre. 59: What three words describe you the most? Unpleasant. 60: Do you believe in evolution? It's not a belief. 61: What makes you unfollow a blog? Generally overt dogmatic beliefs of both religious and non religious varieties. 62: What makes you follow a blog? Something that makes me laugh, or in the case of this site, someone who seems to be level headed. 63: Favorite kind of person: someone that is smart enough to stay away from me. 64: Favorite animal(s): Cats of all kinds except the hairless ones. 65: Name three of your favorite blogs. matt ruins your shit, SYABM, (insert your name here). 66: Favorite emoticon: n/a (although you can tell how old this is as it is called an emoticon and not an emoji) 67: Favorite meme: hate me all you want, but 'poo in loo' made me laugh like a hyena when I first encountered it. Also the " I Do not associate with..." one because the kid's accent made it funny. 68: What is your MBTI personality type? no idea, not gonna bother with it 69: What is your star sign? the ram 70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog? n/a 71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most? I only rock jeans and a t shirt 72: Post a selfie or two? Easiest way to see what I look like is to go to your preferred search engine, go to the 'images' section and then type in "disgusting pile of shit" 73: Do you have platform shoes? I'm not short, nor am I a girl in the 70s or mid to late 90s. 74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself? I am left handed. 75: Can you do a front flip? no. 76: Do you like birds? I. fucking. hate. birds. 77: Do you like to swim? No. Whenever I would go swimming, I'd always come close to drowning. I don't swim anymore. 78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you? Skating probably, though I haven't done it since I was 12. 79: Something you wish didn’t exist: Winter. 80: Some thing you wish did exist: Matter transporters or replicators. Star Trek style. 81: Piercings you have? lready asked. 82: Something you really enjoy doing: Not much these days. The last Aalbum I wrote was titled Anhedonia.... kinda says it all. 83: Favorite person to talk to: My one and only friend. 84: What was your first impression of Tumblr? "Amateur porn that isn't terribly staged? Yes please! And then of course like a week after I join they got rid of all of it. Pff. Ams dildos. 85: How many followers do you have? one, I think. 86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes? I don't run for anyone. 87: Do your socks always match? Yes. It bothers me immensely otherwise. 88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely? I've never been able to do that. Need my hammies massaged and stretched. 89: What are your birthstones? Diamond I think. 90: If you were an animal, which one would you be? One that doesn't exist. 91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be? Either a crapweed or stenchblossom. 92: A store you hate? WalMart. I used to work there. 93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day? I don't drink coffee. Smells nice, but tastes awful. 94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds? Read minds. 95: Do you like to wear camo? I am not a hick that listens to Five Finger Death Punch, so no. 96: Winter or summer? Summer always. Fuck winter. 97: How long can you hold your breath for? no idea. 98: Least favorite person? Most people, really. 99: Someone you look up to: people that are taller than me. Badumtsss. 100: A store you love? Guitar stores. 101: Favorite type of shoes: shoes that't don't wear out after 6 months. 102: Where do you live? Canada. 103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why? No. 104: What is your favorite mineral or gem? Dunno.... emerald? 105: Do you drink milk? Occasionally. 106: Do you like bugs? Spiders and dragonflies are cool because they eat the shittier bugs, but generally, no. 107: Do you like spiders? See above. 108: Something you get paranoid about? People talking shit about me. Getting fired. Any time a boss type calls to me I get scared thinking I'm gonna get fired for being a piece of shit. 109: Can you draw: Sometimes I draw something awesome, but mostly I draw very poorly. 110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked? "Are you single?" 111: A question you hate being asked? "Why don't you want a girlfriend?" 112: Ever been bitten by a spider? Not that I know of. 113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach? Dunno. I've been at a lake with a sandy beach, but lakes don't really have waves like oceans do. I've never been to the ocean before. 114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days? Either or. As long as it's not snowing. 115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now: I'd like to give Christina Aguilera the ol in out, still. 116: Favorite cloud type: The big'ns. Cumulonimbus or whatever it is. 117: What color do you wish the sky was? Clear. Seeing the stars 24 hours a day would be sweet. 118: Do you have freckles? no. 119: Favorite thing about a person: rather non specific quesiton. I like a feminine figure. 120: Fruits or vegetables? Either or. 121: Something you want to do right now: Get hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh. 122: Is the ocean or sky prettier? probably the sky. 123: Sweet or sour foods? sweet. Sour gives me heartburn these days :( 124: Bright or dim lights? in between 125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature? No. 126: Something you hate about Tumblr: The same thing everyone else hates lol. Feminists and SJWs 127: Something you love about Tumblr: USED TO BE THE PORN. Pff 128: What do you think about the least? most things. 129: What would you want written on your tombstone? I don't intend to be buried. 130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now? Many people.Bullies I had in school, former friends, etc. 131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself? Being left handed. You have no fucking idea how much it sucks to play guitar as a lefty. Eithe guitars are cheap pieces of shit, or mad pricey 132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures? No. I hate being picturelated 133: Computer or TV? Comp. 134: Do you like roller coasters? No. 135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness? Never been on the sea. 136: Are your ears lobed or attached? My ears have lobes and are attached to my head. 137: Do you believe in karma? No. 138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are? Cleaned up and on a good day from the right angle I could probably pass for a soft 5. 139: What nicknames do you have/have had? Fag was one of them. 140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends? No. 141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink? No. 142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others? I'm not sure, but with the way things have gone for me probably bad. 143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help? Meh. 144: What makes you angry. Most things. I am easily annoyed. 145: How many languages do you speak fluently? English. 146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries? there are only males and females. 147: Are you androgynous? No. 148: Favorite physical thing about yourself: Occasionally i'm like "Snap I got a big one" but then reality kicks in. 149: Favorite thing about your personality: it keeps people away from me. 150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person. I only know one person that isn't family. 151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose? I'd go back to being 18 and do it all over again, hopefully with fewer mistakes. 152: Do you like BuzzFeed? Lol no. 153: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? [If you have one.] n/a 154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons? No. I'm not keen on physical contact. 155: Do you like to play with others’ hair? No. Gross. 156: What embarrasses you? Being alive. 157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious: Being alive. 158: Biggest lie you have ever told: "I'm good" when asked "how are you?" 159: How many people are you following? like 6. 160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)? more than one. 161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)? none. 162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)? none? 163: Last time you cried and why: My first cat had to be put down because of intestinal cancer. 164: Do you have long or short hair? Short. 165: Longest your hair has ever been: Past my shoulders. 166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religeon? While you could say that the big bang, and the idea of an all powerful being being equally ridiculous, the fact that one involves magic is what makes me stay away from it. So roughly 2000 years ago magic existed and people lived up to and well over 200 years old? Nah. 167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created? Not really. It'd be a cool thing to know, but aside from that I don't think it has much to do with anything going on in our lives, or any future person's life. 168: Do you like to wear makeup? I do not. I didn't even like kissing girlfriends when they had lipstick on. I didn't like the feeling of shumutz on my lips. Also the waxy taste was weird. 169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds? Back when I was a wee one I could do both.... while leaned up against a wall. 170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully? Yes. OR DID I?

[ladyofmind]

May Month’s End

Wow, this month went by so fast! In the end, I only really stuck to 2 hashtag games.

First up I LOVED playing WIPWordSearch. Little snippets from all that I have written in the Red Letters Series, called my Red Letter Teasers...

1- "You know just how much I like animals, may want to stick around all day if you can, who knows what I might do before the day's done."

2- "I'll show ye music." Setting his mug aside, Frost got up, rooting around until he found the extra speakers from under the bar, and plugged his player in.

3- The waves melted into the sky, the darkness washing onto the lightness in the sand, meeting it in white curling foamy waves.

4- As Remmy started to move, he gestured for Nira. "Thank you for your time Gus, Nira here should have the answers you want on the business end."

5- "Mom and I used to go once a week and the waitress got to the point that she almost didn’t ask anymore."

6- Tweet mentally stretched her muscles, trying to discreetly work out the dull aches in her body, while jumping back into the sea of conversations as if she hadn't stopped at all.

7- The sound of the air rushing from his lungs, on a cuss cut short, was covered by the nearly shrill squeals of Bebe. #amediting #alliterationhabit

8- Troublemaking women with weapons; and a sweetly adorable, yet commanding, woman controlling things, reminding him of home.

9- The salty sea air started to reach her nose, and she squeezed his hand. "We're getting close!"

10- Tweety already dressed, and finishing notes she'd again fallen asleep on, when she heard it. That familiar scratching sound that announced she had company.

11- Ally and Mys came over, and ordered a set of drinks for all of them, a sheepish look on both faces. Tweety felt the wave of nervousness from them, and strived to ease it, thinking it was related to their relationship.

12- Arrogance, since no Arrogant. Woods wasn’t a hardcore musician in that way of life; he didn’t sleep around every night, nor did he have an inflated ego or sense of arrogance.

13- That was a risk he took now, but that rewarding kiss made it worthwhile. Woods would be more than willing to kiss the steam out of her ears, and more if needed, being such a magnanimous gentleman.

14- Another done up lady settled on the stools, and Tweet went through the standard welcome and order spiel. "I'll have something… sweet but sour too."

15- Tweety hesitated, but Roger nudged the door wider and strolled inside. Of course it was Deej's room, and she winced when she saw the shadowy flight of a rather large mass jump for about where the beds were in each room.

16- High fives and cheers shared until Martin reminded them that the band had a short time and spring would be here in an instant.

17- About to launch into another speech, Woods wanted to fill the silence and babble on if need be, his mouth opened to do just that when Tweet stood and tossed the cat ears and tail near her bag.

18- It could very well have been the ghost in her, playing just the right notes to haunt her memories. Yet, they still had this open wound, his distrust of her had turned a pet name and sign of his admiration into a piercing pain in her chest.

19- He hadn't expected that when he came to check out what the buzz was here. More often than not, as he wandered the towns at night, they were weary places full of silence and darkness.

20- Tweety woke with a cold start, living the nightmare she dreamt. Except in her dream she managed to scream, not in reality.

21- Tweet's hushed hiss gave Roger pause, a look passing between them, almost a stand off to test limits. Roger stopped wiggling, and looked to Tweet, pawing the air behind Deej.

22- She was still breathing, shallowly, with a pulse that he took to be returning from the weaker state, established on first examination.

23- The least he could do was return the favor by making her a quivering puddle of a person. He didn't stop until she looked much more alive, and likely to melt and drip right out of the car.

24- She didn't want to start by admitting to be one of those girls that didn't know which hand a regular ring went on, and which was for engagements only. She wouldn’t get the chance to speak, at least not in the store

25- That= 520 times in a 55K+ #WIP

Freddy started laughing at the upset Vinny, who repeated that he wanted Queen, not Bob Seeger.

26- Just= 175 times in a 55K+ #WIP

"Just you Frost, just you." Laughing, Woods patted Frost on the back.

27- So= 278 times in a 55K+ #WIP

He was so much taller, even in her boots she wasn’t close enough.

28- About= 169 times in a 55K+ #WIP

They didn’t get much time to talk about this friend, because Tweet heard her name in the microphone.

29- Very= 32 times in a 55K+ #WIP

Tweet started to thump on his back in earnest, getting very dizzy.

30- Really= 31 times in a 55K+ #WIP

"If you really must know that secret that isn't a total secret, it was your arse."

31- As= 409 times in a 55K+ #WIP

A particularly excellent beat had her shimmying her hips as she cleared the floor, which she turned into more of a sway again as she neared Martin's expanded table.

As always, I love playing CharactersTell! Not only do I have a surprise coming, but this was my first interview too!

1/5- "Happy Worker's Day! First round on me, since it is my lovely nightclub. Just ask for Tweety! From future Red Letters fame, of course, that journey starts today, with an awesome interview on the #GCnetwork as the MC featured this week! Thank you so much."

2/5- "When I started out, I was just a waitress. Now I work 24/7 in Soulful, usually the hostess with the most-est. It's not for the money any longer, this place is more than a home for me, it's my life I choose to live."

3/5- "Love this job, so much fun! I didn't exactly have a dream job growing up, but this is darn close to one. Maybe I wish I could find a little time to read books and take up better hobbies, like the writing one Sly suggests."

4/5- "Occupational hazards have names here. Collar's man thong, and Bebe come to mind. Poor # 14 is still recovering from being a giant red duck shaped pool float for a night. No one but Bebe knew there was a person inside and played a bit rough with the evil duck"

5/5- "We get along well here, occasionally I might participate in the shenanigans, if they aren't that harmful. I mean what's a party without shots? Just not body shots off me. I leave that to Bebe. After all, the bouncers have to have fun too."

6/5- "I don't get many free days, and there were plenty of times I wasn't allowed out of the bar anyway. But now? I like to catch up on my rest, do some shopping, love being fashionable."

7/5- "Same way I greet every day. The big ol' kitty scratches my door to pieces, until I get up and give him the coffee flavored milk Deej thought to send me round his neck. Too bad its not really coffee and Roger drinks it all anyway."

8/5- "Hi, I'm Greg, and I'm not sure I'm in the right place. I don't think I'm all that bad and Grandpa Gus loved me enough to leave me a third of his business. At best it's all just miscommunication…" Always are until feelings come into play, aren't they?

9/5- "I've practically finished my business degree, because I've known about my inheritance since high school. So, I don't. Not yet… Dad paid for everything, and there is an account in my name from my future share of the club. Not sure how much is there…"

10/5- "Dad doesn't like me working, as he wasted a life doing that and made more than enough money to last us. Grandpa Gus thought I had a good head on my shoulders and encouraged me to work, and I've managed a few places before. Nothing solid or permanent tho."

11/5- "I've sneaked a peek at Soulful's books. It's not a bakery business, but there are these cake supplies… Enough to make an 8 tier wedding cake a week, on top of what they make/sell, or at least that's what I've been advised it's for, based on the quantities."

12/5- "I never did, until I went to college. Now I do, and I am not great at it, but I can shop and feed myself something a step up from college diets."

13/5- "In other jobs, I am a workaholic. But in my new role? I'm slacking off terribly, partly because I do not see a role here for me, and because, of course, there's a woman involved. Might be easier to just sell it to this guy that found me first…"

14/5- "Worst part about my job? Hearing an important woman complain about this absentee owner while needing comfort. If I comfort her, I can see something happening there; but I think she'll be ticked off to find out who I really am, and what I might decide to do…"

15/5- "Hello, I'm Woods' sister. I have a few name options, but my author will decide when I'm written about in book 3? Or is it 4 now? What's in a name anyway, when you know who you are? You all love Woods aka big bro Woodson and don't care what you call him."

16/5- "My parents and I get along fine. Mr. Rockstar still thinks I'm too young, even though we're only like 5 years apart. He's been too busy to know the adult me, but we're still family, still friendly."

17/5- "I was shy, and they worried more about Woods and his aimlessness. Then when he became famous and in the tabloids, well, they didn't notice as much if I was troublesome or not…"

18/5- "Oh, sometimes I was too blunt. Or used words I read in books. Really young me didn't understand why people felt the way they did about certain words or the concept of walking on eggshells."

19/5- "I'm not even 25! And I'm not seeing anyone. As is, I'm trying to help my idiot brother find someone, while dealing with Remmy, his bodyguard friend. If I can watch them, I think I can survive being a mom, someday when I'm older and more settled."

20/5- "Of course! There was a group of us that were really into Nancy Drew and Hardy Boys mysteries. Group grew and changed from there. Who knew being mysterious could get you so much attention?"

21/5- "I loved English, History classes had fascinating facts. After all, history does repeat itself if you learn nothing, and reading makes you smarter than someone who learned nothing. yes, I *may* be referring to my genius brother and his annoying friend again."

22/5-A Lynx cat, frosting on his fur crosses the stage, licking himself.

A man in cat ears follows, "Roger, tell me you didn't raid the cupcakes without me? You know what happens when you make a mess I don't know…"

"Deej!! My kitchen!"

Roger smirks, licking more.

23/5- As a chef comes to yell at Deej, Roger shakes all his fur and heads off for a couch, hoping up on it and nudging his cub with his nose. The cub cutely reaches out a paw and stretches it's sleepy form.

24/5- "Aww aren't yew bloke's cute." Malta passed by, stopping to pet both lynx cats. "Are yew hungry? I'll ge' yew some meat."

25/5- The cats ate, while people talk. They were rare wild cards, & handfuls when in trouble. Yet Deej raised them well, these lynx were domesticated, like overgrown cats, who sometimes act like dogs, but always have attitude & a way of finding suckers to purr at.

26/5- Roger nudged the cub, and they jumped off the couch. The cub moves to the bar's end, while Roger stretched on a stool to see over the bartop. Tweety noticed him as she moved "Hey Roger, are you boys looking for a big dish of milk? Coming right up!"

27/5- Roger backed off the stool and stepped to the side, waiting near the cub, as Tweety set down a bowl of milk. "How about a snack for my favorite furry friends?" Cupcakes were set in front of the pair, causing Roger to purr and lick Tweet's leg in thanks.

28/5- Deej huffed, hopping on a stool "Tweets don't support them! The big lug alrea… aahh!"

Deej landed on his back, Roger shaking his paw.

"Roger, haven't we talked about you knocking Deej over?" Tweet tried not to laugh, or else it would encourage Roger further.

29/5- Tweet bent down to pet Roger, who returned the attention by trying to knock her over and cover her in his furry scent. "Our paths cross all the time, at least once a day when this lug brings me coffee and guards my door."

30/5- Side sis- "First off we don't know each other, but no one yet knows what I do with my smarts. Are you looking at a pool shark?" 😇

Antag Greg- "Confession, I don't play pool. But I have made out on a pool table before…"

31/5- Woods' sister- "I think so, I have read the book on Tweet's bar life, and I see so many similarities. I'm annoyed that my brother didn't introduce us sooner. I would have skipped a little high school to meet this woman before now."