#How do people knowingly partake in this shit

[randomtheidiot]

Oh, she's real subtle...

Subtle like a brick to the face.

Holy shit lol

[duskamethyst]

attitude.

a/n: i had to edit this so many times for a month.

word count: 2.1k

genre: smut, nsfw

warnings: dubcon kinda, daddy kink, masturbation, semi public, slight exhibitionism, slight sexism, degradation, slight dacryphilia, angry fucking

pairing: ukai x f!reader

you open the door to the shop, greeted by the guy you knew too well, only that his whole face is hidden behind the newspaper, obvious that he is smoking a cigarette from the smell that stings your nose and the smoke around him. you aren’t having the best of days so naturally, you begin to rant about the hard ass professor from your class. you glance at your boyfriend mid-rant, who still has his nose stuck on the article.

“he didn’t like my proposal and he had the audacity to say some misogynistic shit like, the amount of makeup i wore to class and all that shit.” you continue, but the other party only hums in response. 

“like, what does that have to do with my work? he probably thinks that i’m some kind of a bimbo. it’s ridiculous– keishin, are you even listening to me?”

ukai puts out his cigarette on the ashtray and flipped through the paper and nods, “yeah, i hear you.”

“well, you could’ve said something to make me feel better.” you grunt, crossing your arms across your chest as your eyes glare through the papers in search of ukai’s face as if you have the ability to see through objects. 

“don’t look at me like that.” he replies all too knowingly though not even bothering to spare you a glace ever since you step inside his store. 

“then what did i say?” it’s stupid to ask such question. you’re willing to bet that he isn’t actually listening nor interested to partake in the conversation. it happened sometimes and it drives you nuts and upset altogether.

ukai shrugs and turns the next page, “something about your professor.”

“…..and?” you tap your foot on the floor, starting to lack in patience.

“and, i’m just not good in multitasking so i couldn’t really listen to you while reading.”

“you fucking asshole,” you cuss. “i worked my ass off day and night, sometimes it doesn’t work out and when that happens, i really hoped that you would be there and cheer me up but now you just decided that you won’t even spare a few minutes to put down the paper and listen to me? hell, this happened a lot of times already. are you also stressed out like me? from sitting in front of the fucking register and smoking all day?” 

“you probably should tell that to your professor instead,” he answers nonchalantly which annoys you even further. “jeez, and i probably should’ve dated someone my age.” he says lowly under his breath, but just enough for you to hear it clearly, even from behind the newspaper.

“excuse me?” you can’t believe what you heard, your fists clench on your sides and your breathing quickens. if the fact that he was not listening to you is the final straw, this takes the whole damn cake.

“yeah, maybe you could try. no one around your age would date you– not with this shitty job you have. at this point, i just wonder when the fuck are you gonna get cancer.” you snap. “at least i know there are tons of guys in my class that would want to date and fuck me. but nooo, i chose you instead. so, fuck you, keishin. just–fuck! you!”

as you are about to turn your heels around and storm off the store, ukai’s chair screeches as he stands up and grips your wrist from behind the counter, causing your body to yank backwards. ukai presses your cheeks together with his other free hand and tilts your head up to force you to look at him. his eyes are filled with ire– they are so cold and filled with rage at the same time, it’s actually sending chills down your spine. 

“is it my fault that you have daddy issues? is it my fault that you like older men like me?” he sneers. 

a pool of tears are slowly beginning to form in your eyes. it isn’t because you are remotely afraid but more of a natural reaction when you get furious.

“oh now you’re gonna cry?”

the thought of your black mascara running down your face together with your salty tears delights the man himself and you know this too well as you can see it in his face. giving in to that would be a mistake and you would hate to give him the pleasure.

“who taught you to speak to me like that?” 

you turn your face away to the side to release from his grip and shoot him a murderous glare with all the courage instill in you, “you deserved it, asshole.” 

ukai raises his brow, unsatisfied. his grip on your wrist tightens more as you struggle to pull away.

“let go.”

“i don’t think so,” he chuckles sardonically as he slips out from his apron. “that mouth is good for one thing and one thing only,” ukai turns to walk out from the register and stands intimidatingly tall in front of you, “and you know what that is.” 

“well, i don’t know. like, eating, talking?” you blurt out. maybe if you annoy him more, he would let it go– seeing how he is not putting up with your shit earlier, you don’t think he would take this any further either. 

however, he scoffs hearing your witty answer because you are actually pushing his buttons instead. “wrong answer, brat.”

ukai forces you down on your knees by the wrist and quickly unbuckles his belt, dropping down his jeans and boxers together at just the right length to only be able take out his cock. he grabs you by the hair and yanks you forward, “now, suck.”

“w-wait–”

“did i fucking stutter?” he warns as he tugs your hair tighter and it stings you a bit.

you think it is best to quickly oblige so you take his cock in your hands, your tongue teasingly licks the bead of precum on the tip. ukai breathes out a mixture of a frustrated and relieved groan at the tease, causing him to push your head closer while he bucks his hips forwards to shove more of his throbbing cock inside your mouth and causing you to gag a little as he hits the back of your throat.

“fuck– that’ll make you shut up. come on. show me what that pretty little mouth can do.” you bob your head faster along his cock, your hand fondles his balls while the other presses on his length to add pressure. he throws his head back and grips your hair tighter each time he lets out a breathy moan.

a lewd pop sound slips out from your mouth as he pulls his cock away. ukai’s lips curls into a grin as you look up at him with glassy eyes and your mascara a bit smudged. beautiful, he thought, just the way he likes it.

“get up, slut.”

you comply submissively, slowly getting back up and let him push and bend you against the counter. ukai lifts up your skirt, smirking as he sees a dark patch formed on your panties, he can’t help but to tease your wet slit by circling his fingers against the thin fabric.

you feel a wave of anticipation at the soft touch that your breathing begins to hitch. you glance at the clock on the wall, 20 more minutes before the shop closes. what are the odds that people will still come in at this hour?

“so fucking wet already. what am i gonna do with you?” 

you want him to take you right there and then but you want him to stop at the same time, in fear that customers might still come into the shop and the thoughts are colliding with each other.

“kei– there’s still a few minutes left…” by the look of your face, your half-lidded eyes, ukai knows that you actually want this.

“and what about it?” he teases as he pulls your panties to the side and slips one finger inside your sloppy cunt. “wouldn’t you like it if people see you being fucked so hard like a little whore?” his finger is pushing in and out repetitively before putting in another finger and continues fingering you mercilessly. 

having ukai to finger you like this in public feels so good– actually better than you imagine. the thought of not trying to get caught having your legs spread out for this man is giving you a rush of excitement as you try to hold your moans down your throat. 

unfortunately, ukai is not happy about it and begins to rub his thumb on your clit. “let me hear you, baby. you didn’t seem to mind when you were shouting at me earlier.”

“i’m– ah– sorry..” you begin, between breaths.  

“sorry what?” you shut your eyes close as your hips subconsciously buck towards his fingers, only to have him pull them out instantly. with his other hand, he presses your cheeks again and forces you to look at him. 

“i’m sorry, daddy.” you plea.

“you look so pretty like this, princess. but your attitude displeased me.” he loves having control over all of you and keeping you grounded. “you wanna cum?”

“please.”

“do it yourself.” ukai steps back and watches you sit up on the counter with trembling legs and struggle to make yourself cum only from pumping your own fingers inside your wet cunt. 

“you’re so wet, princess. i don’t think you need my cock for that.” he continues with prying eyes as he watches you with lustful eyes, one of his hand pumping his hard cock as your body arches and trembles in front of him, trying to push yourself to edge but with no avail.

“daddy, i want to cum.”

“and how am i supposed to do that?” he coos. 

“please, daddy. i need your fat cock inside me.”

with one swift movement, ukai pulls down your panties and lifts one of your legs up to his shoulder, spreading your thighs apart. just as much as he likes to make you wait and begging for his thick cock, how could he not fuck you immediately? he can’t make himself wait either.

the shop begins to be filled by your restricted moans, careful not to let any possible people outside the shop to hear you as ukai fucks you shamelessly. you have your elbows to support your uncomfortable posture but you pay no mind to it as his cock fills every inch of you, reaching for the very place that your own fingers can’t. the both of you start to hear faint chatters from outside and you hope that they are just passing by.

however, ukai takes this chance to quicken his pace.

“let me hear you, baby. tell everyone– ah– how good daddy makes you feel.” he says between grunts while he starts to rub and press down your clit with his thumb. 

“daddy, please, please, please–” you whisper, fists clenching to nothing, toes curling in your shoes. your eyes glances towards the door as the chatters and footsteps outside start to become gradually louder with each passing second.

“look at me,”  ukai spanks your thigh, “wanna give them a show?”

“no..” you mutter through soft moans. though the thought of getting caught red handed is humiliating, it’s also arousing to you and your walls start to clench tighter around his cock.

“god, you’re getting tighter– you like that huh?” he hisses. “such a fucking slut.”

you can feel your juices dripping down his length as he adjusts his angle before giving you more intense thrusts that just hit the right places at the right pace. your legs are trembling and you can feel that you are getting closer to an orgasm and at this point, you can’t be bothered to worry anymore as your mouth lolls open to chant his name in a chorus. 

you can feel that ukai is also getting close as you are as you feel him throbbing inside you. having his teeth nibbling on your thigh is enough to push you over the edge and your mouth opens in a silent scream as you cum hard. he smirks proudly and gives a couple more thrusts before he also winds up to a state of euphoria himself with his hot ropes of cum filling up your cunt. 

panting, ukai waits for a second to finish before pulling himself out and puts on his pants before helping to adjust your clothes. 

“you’re an idiot.” you push yourself off the counter and lightly punch him on the chest, earning a small chuckle from the male– the first time you heard today.

“call me that again and we are gonna have round two, brat.” 

“coach!” an orange-haired boy beams as he opens the door, sending a jolt of surprise to the two of you. from the looks of his face, you manage to conclude that he didn’t hear or even had the slightest clue about what happened. you sigh in relief. 

“what? shop’s closed!” ukai quickly says before ushering the poor boy out. 

duskamethyst © 2020 • do not modify, translate or repost anywhere.

[scottybrock]

Santa Baby - Colby Brock

A/N: Requested by a lovely anon: “Doing secret Santa with the traphouse and the reader has Colby and vice versa and they get each other something the other mentioned years ago and they get together idk i watched a movie that had this lol”

It was a tradition. 

While Christmas to you, was just a holiday for corporate greed to thrive, and was overly preachy about Jesus, most of your friends loved it. Then again, most of your friends weren’t as cynical as you. Even though you weren’t religious, and Christmas kind of made you want to dry heave when you thought about it too much, you dutifully agreed to partake in your friends tradition of secret santa. Every year without fail, you always ended up with Colby as the person you had to buy a present for.

Even though you weren’t a huge Christmas fan, you loved giving gifts. Not a big fan of receiving them, but giving to you almost brought feelings of euphoria when you gave gifts. It was even more validating than receiving them, seeing the smiles on your friends faces. Especially Colby’s. 

You were one of Colby’s best friends. It was great; Colby was one of the funniest people you’d ever met. He was sweet and kind, and his smile made you feel like you could be a better person. It’s not like you were totally, completely in love with him. Except, you were. You were irrevocably, terribly in love with your best friend. Fuck, you hated cliches, but it seemed like you were a walking, talking, living cliche. 

You knew exactly what you were going to get Colby for his secret santa gift. It was a Gucci ring that he’d been eyeing for months, but hadn’t been able to justify spending that much money on himself. Even though he lived comfortably, didn’t mean he was a douchebag that flaunted his wealth on YouTube. He never wanted to be that type of person, as he empathetically told you several times a year. While there were some YouTubers who managed to do so without seeming like a douche, there were very few who successfully managed to do so.

You tucked the tiny box into your purse, glad that it was small enough to fit into your purse, lest you ran into fans who wanted pictures. With the box snug in your purse, you continued on with your day, smiling softly to yourself from time to time, imagining the look on Colby’s face when he received his gift. Christmas wasn’t your thing, but showing your friends how much you cared about them definitely was.

Meanwhile, across town, Colby was already wrapping his present for you. This year, he was beyond glad that he picked your name for secret santa. Every single year, he wished it was you that he had, but every year, much to his disappointment, he always picked someone else. He watched from afar as you received an insignificant gift that didn’t really suit you, something that you really didn’t want all that much, with a frown on his face. He listened to you when you spoke. He knew what you wanted. 

You quickly wrapped the tiny box in beautiful red wrapping paper, sticking a cute, tiny bow on the very top of it. When you finished wrapping it, you stuck it back into your purse and made your way to Sam’s apartment, where the event was being held this year.

“Ho, ho, ho,” You shouted upon entering. Sam nearly spilled his drink down the front of his candy-cane striped sweater. Katrina snickered in response, and Colby sent you a bright, lively smile. “’Sup, hoe?” He laughed. You rolled your eyes fondly at him, nudging him slightly with your shoulder. When you brushed against him, you smelled like Christmas personified, in the best way possible. A sweet yet spicy mix of nutmeg and cinnamon. Colby inhaled deeply, trying to draw as much of you into his lungs as possible. You lifted your cup to your lips to hide a soft smile as Colby leaned in closer to you, his arm brushing against yours.

For the next few hours, you mingled with your friends and drank way too much eggnog. You nibbled at the cookies that Katrina made, and sucked on the tip of a candy cane, much to the interest of Colby. His eyes never strayed from your lips as he watched you tantalizingly suck and lick at the hook-shaped candy. He licked his own lips subconsciously in reply.

Finally, it was time for you to exchange secret santa gifts. You sat next to Devyn, giggling with her about the garish way she’d decorated her present to Tara. You confided in her that you had Colby, and she smiled at you knowingly, causing your cheeks to grow as red as Rudolph’s nose. 

“I had Colby,” You announced to the group. You handed him the tiny box, smiling the whole time. Your smile widened at the sight of his beautiful, excited grin. He slid the ring onto his finger and practically beamed at you, his bright blue eyes shining. “I love it,” He told you. Your eyes glimmered at him, your smile practically stretching to the tips of your ears. “I’m glad you like it,” You told him. “Not like; I love it,” Colby corrected you, nearly ending it with, “Almost as much as I love you.”

You grinned happily, your cheeks flushing with joy. His own grin widened. The spell was broken when Sam cleared his throat, and continued with the secret santa celebration. 

Finally, it was your turn to receive a gift. Colby sat up straighter, clearing his throat slightly. “This year, I had you,” He gestured towards you, causing your cheeks to redden once more. He handed you a prettily wrapped present. You eagerly tore the wrapping paper off, and your eyes widened. It was a beautiful collage of all of your friends with you, all of your favorite moments with your friends. 

Your eyes welled with tears, and you quickly reached up to brush your tears away. This, by far, was the best present you’d ever gotten. You said as much to Colby, and he grinned happily. For you, it wasn’t about materialistic things; it was about sentimental, sweet things. Things that you would cherish for the rest of your life. Colby knew that more than anyone.

As your friends dispersed around Sam’s apartment, chattering happily to each other, you caught Colby alone. You smiled at him, suddenly feeling shy. “Thank you so much for my present, again,” You told him. His eyes widened in surprise, but a wide smile spread across his face. “Anything for you,” He replied. He held up his hand, his new ring glimmering prettily against his pale skin. “Thank you, too.” He added. Your smile widened slightly. “Anything for you.” You reiterated. 

Colby’s expression morphed into one of amusement as he glanced up at the ceiling. He cleared his throat slightly, and you raised your eyes to follow his gaze. Your face nearly burst into flames. Above the two of you was a sprig of mistletoe. Colby studied your eyes, then smiled softly. You smiled back, leaning in slightly. He followed your lead, leaning in further and further, until his lips were against yours.

Sam watched from across the kitchen, smiling softly to himself. He knew how you felt about Colby, and how Colby felt about you. He’d hung mistletoe all around his apartment, in hopes that the two of you would finally get your shit together. 

All too soon, you pulled away to take a deep breath. Colby’s eyes shone at you, his pretty pink lips curving into a soft, shy smile. “I’ve wanted to do that for a long time,” Colby told you, his voice soft and sweet. You grinned back at him. “Me too,” You replied. Colby’s smile went supernova, and he wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you close. “At the risk of being cliche,” He began, giving your waist a gentle squeeze. “Would you maybe want to be my girlfriend?”

Your smile was blinding as you replied, “I think I’m starting to like cliches,” You reached up to brush some hair that had fallen into Colby’s face. “And yes, I’d love to be your girlfriend.”

[space-whalesharks]

... 𝓕𝓸𝓻 𝓦𝓸𝓻𝓼𝓮 𝓸𝓻 𝓕𝓸𝓻 𝓑𝓮𝓽𝓽𝓮𝓻

Grant and Matthew head to John’s house for Nic’s Valentine’s Party, and to share their big news. Considering their dating history, they’re less than sure it’ll go smootly.  Grant Lyons/Matthew Rook, John Seed/Nic Raylan

| Pt 1 by @amistrio​ | Pt 2:

Grant Lyons stared at the double doors of John’s ranch. He and Matthew Rook had rang the doorbell nearly five minutes before, and considering it was mid-February in goddamn Montana, they were close to freezing due to the delay. And the elephant in the room - er, entryway, was getting heavier and heavier. It wasn’t bad, it wasn’t a secret, he just wanted to let his best friend know that he was going to be a married man soon, and for once, the excitement was killing him.  He sighed and knocked on the door again. “I know it’s Valentine’s, but y’all better not be fuckin’ in there considering you two are the ones that planned this party and decided on this time!” he called. 

Matt glanced over at Grant. “... Considering we’re about a third of the police force altogether, if one of us gets murdered tonight do you think Whitehorse is gonna send someone to investigate?” 

“No one’s gonna get murdered.” 

“Are you sure? Because John-” 

“Is a relatively stable individual-” 

“Who’s about to have his current girlfriend and her best friend, who’s his ex, who’s dating his other ex, who just got engaged to said ex literally….” he checked his watch. “six hours ago,  all under the same roof,” Matthew cut him off. “Hope County is too damn small.” 

“I think that’s the hunger talking.” 

“And the cold. And the excitement. But seriously, it’s too damn small. Everybody knows everybody. Who thought living like that would be okay?” 

“Hey, you chose to stay here when Earl offered you a permanent spot.” 

“I was motivated,” Matthew protested, though there was a teasing lit to his tone, and he grinned at Grant knowingly. 

Grant paused, then smirked.  “That’s really gay.” 

“Yeah? Well…” Matthew leaned into him and Grant moved to meet him halfway - but naturally, that was right when the door opened. 

Nicolette Raylan was on the other side, and she blanched upon seeing what she had interrupted. It didn’t last long. A moment later, a grin split her face. “Wow, that’s-”

“Grant already made the joke, don’t you dare,” Matthew cut her off before she could continue. 

She didn’t miss a beat and immediately pulled him into a bear hug that he returned full force. She tossed an arm around Grant’s neck to pull him into it a moment later. “Hi! You guys are finally here! I missed you!” 

“You saw us literally two days ago,” Grant pointed out. 

“And I still missed you. Get in here.” She waved them inside, and they followed.  

The great room was decked out in all pink, red and silver decor. There were streamers and balloons everywhere, there were streamers on the stuffed animal’s heads, the dining room table had a glitzed out runner with a bunch of plates on it, as did the coffee table, and the railing of the stairs leading to the hangar was wrapped in ribbon. 

It had been the most ‘Nic’s influence’ thing they had ever seen in anything that belonged to John. Leave it to her to go all out when it was just going to be the four of them hanging out. Still, there was a strange charm to it all. 

Nicolette didn’t let them take in the sight for long. She ushered them over to the dining room table where a bunch of food was laid out- different bread, cold cuts, heart-shaped baked goods that were decorated to the nines- Nic had clearly spared no expense in any of it. Grant took a sandwich and a couple of cookies, and Matt piled on every single dessert option onto his plate. When Grant offered him a skeptical smile, he shrugged. “What? We ate lunch already, and Nic worked hard on these, I’m partaking.”

“I meant save some for the rest of us, I mean damn,” Grant teased. He went for one of the brownies on Matthew’s plate.

Matthew stabbed his hand lightly with his fork in retaliation. “There are like twenty more, get your own!” he countered before he crossed back to the couch and sat down. 

Grant did as Matthew requested then sat beside him. 

Nicolette came back over to the pair of them. She gave Grant a glass of whiskey and a bottle of coke to Matthew, then sat in the chair adjacent to them. 

“Where the Hell’s John?” Grant asked. 

Nicolette checked her watch. “Should be back any minute. Had some legal trouble. Apparently, Larry’s threatening legal action against the Ryes because Carmina’s contrails are chemtrails and they’re trying to poison the county or something. He’s apparently trespassing on their property and trying to fiddle with the plane so John’s getting paperwork ready to keep him off the property and such. Kim told me everything.”

“Fucking Larry,” Matthew sighed, and the other two hummed in agreement. 

They made small talk after that, catching up on cases, until the great room’s entryway doors opened up again.

John stepped through, and upon seeing the three of them smiling and laughing away. They all turned to look at him, and Grant and Matthew offered a quick wave and a “hi!” He looked back and forth between all of them, then sighed. “This… this is my nightmare. I’ve literally dreamt about this.” When Nicolette popped up from the couch to kiss him, he returned it, though still looked like he was in pain. 

Grant scoffed. “Why? We’re all friends, it’s not like we’re killing each other. Or plotting to kill you.” 

“Yeah, well, your dream selves aren’t that civil,” John fired back. He huffed and dropped onto the couch. 

“Could be worse, could be comparing notes on how you are in bed,” Matthew pointed out. 

“You guys could, we didn’t get that far,” Grant cut in. 

Nicolette grinned behind her whiskey and coke. “And I already did that with Holly yesterday when we went to get coffee.” 

“You what?!” John demanded. 

Nicolette grinned. “All in good fun. She’s moved on, she’s with some Barry guy now. I mean, you are the most eligible bachelor in Hope County, you’ve dated what, half the people in the entire place from twenty-five to thirty-five?”

“You make it sound like there’s a support group for people who dated me,” John sighed. 

“Well…” Matt shrugged, then looked at the gathered crowd pointedly.  

John’s face fell, and Nicolette tutted and tucked her face into his neck. “You’re looking at it, you’re fine. It’s not like we’re much better.”

“Was I that bad?” John asked. When he was met by dead silence and the other three exchanging looks that were half apprehension, half conspiratorial, he scoffed. “Come on.” 

Nicolette laughed. “We’re not doing this on Valentine’s Day,” Nicolette objected. 

“Well, technically that only means you have to be nice,” Matthew clarified. 

“And you started it, so fine, let’s hear it,” John countered. 

Matthew sighed, realizing there was no way out of this, so he figured open the can of worms right quick, then weld it shut. He motioned at John. “You’re an overdramatic bitch. Nic can handle it because she’s also one.” He glanced her way, and then when she shrugged and nodded in agreement, he continued. “ I…could sort of deal with it,  but had my own shit to deal with, and-”

Grant reached over and squeezed Matthew’s knee pointedly. “You’ve got a lot of stuff that can’t go unchecked and needs a lot of attention, some people aren’t up for that,” he cut him off. “I mean Hell, same with me. I have… a lot of shit to work through, so do you. There’s nothing wrong with that, but everybody deals differently. Hell, when we were a thing, same thing applied. I’ve had too much shit to work through to be there one hundred percent for you. There’s no shame in that, and it wouldn’t be fair to you to expect one hundred percent from me all the time,” he continued. “And then this one and that one came to town. Still had shit to deal with, but they deal better because there’s less to unpack, and they’ve got the personalities to take it head on. Listen, two majorly traumatic messes were doomed to fail. Put a less traumatized mess with each of them, you get this,” he motioned at himself and Matt, then at John and Nicolette. “Worked out just fine, didn’t it? Look at us now.”

John clenched his jaw but visibly considered the explanation, then Nic, the absolute hero that she was, lifted her glass to her mouth before firmly declaring, “Your mom’s a less traumatized mess.” 

Thankfully that got a laugh from all of them and diffused whatever remaining tension there was. John, obviously the most bristled of the bunch, having realized that no, everybody’s grievances weren’t going to be aired and had been stuck into a relatively reasonable statement, turned to Nicolette with what had been said in mind. “I suppose it did.” When she squinted at him in return, he leaned forward to kiss her. 

When it turned into two kisses, then three, then on, and what the other two thought was probably tongue getting involved, they simultaneously gagged overdramatically. 

“Payback for earlier,” Nicolette countered between kisses. 

“Oh, Hell no. We didn’t even make contact before. If anything, we need some payback. So,” he grabbed Grant, who had been snickering at the whole thing and yanked him forward into a kiss of their own - and maneuvered so he could toss his leg over Grant’s knees and scoot closer. 

Matt was absolutely elated when Grant let out an exaggerated moan to boot to go along with it. 

The other two finally broke apart. 

“Oh, thank God, we were gonna have to ask you guys to get a room so we could have this party alone,” Matthew pointed out. 

“It’s my house,” John protested. “Get your own damn room, you were further ahead than we were.” 

“Yeah, where’s the fun in going as slow as you two? You don’t wanna drag the stuff out that much,” Matthew countered. 

Nicolette laughed. “Oh, honey, it’s the other way around, do you really wanna ‘wham, bam thank you Man’ Grant after all he does for you?” 

“I don’t have a single complaint, actually,” Grant cut in. 

Matthew beamed, then flipped off Nicolette- and then stopped short when her answering grin dropped and her eyes went wide. Oh, right, the Elephant in the room. 

Nicolette launched herself across the table so quickly even John looked panicked for a moment. He landed haphazardly on their entwined legs, and Grant scrambled to keep her upright when she nearly fell off the couch. She paid the fumble no mind. She grabbed Matt’s hand and held it up in order to look at the bright gold band that had found a home on Matthew’s ring finger. She gasped, then beamed and turned to Grant, then immediately punched him in the chest. “You ass! You told me you were gonna tell me before you did it so I could get pictures!” 

“I - it was an in the moment thing, there was next to no planning,” Grant protested. 

Nicolette squinted at him. “Liar. You just didn’t want an audience.” 

His response was immediate... and devoid of regret: “I didn’t want an audience.”

She squinted at him, then scooted back so she slipped off of their legs and onto the empty part of the couch before she threw her arms around Matt and kicked excitedly. “I’m so happy for you guys, it’s about time!”  She squeezed him harder. “Welcome to the family!” 

Matt hugged her back. “Thank you, thank you.” She turned back around. “John! Say something!” 

Grant waved his hand dismissively. “Leave him alone, this is probably super weird. We wanted to wait til things slowed down or  Nic got sleepy and quiet before we told you guys,” he explained. 

“No, it’s…” John sighed. “It’s fine, truly. Congratulations, and if you’d like, you’re welcome to use this place as a venue. As for why I got quiet there,  well… why don’t you ask Nicolette why she’s wearing the only shirt she has that covers her collarbone?” 

Matthew and Grant exchanged puzzled looks, then frowned at the woman herself, who grinned after a moment. 

“Not to step on your moment, buuuut…” she reached down to take the necklace she had tucked into her shirt. Usually, it had the silver Rook chesspiece Earl had given her a few years back, the silver key ‘to John’s heart’ that he’d given her on their one year anniversary, but now there was a ring hanging between the two charms. 

Grant looked from it, to her, to John with another grin forming on his lips. “You too?” 

John shrugged. “First thing this morning. Must have been something in the air.” 

“Congratulations,” Grant replied. “Both of you.” He laughed when Nicolette threw her arms around him again. He took another look at the ring. “That is a big rock.” 

“Well, when your house is this big you can afford all that,” Matthew pointed out. 

“Stop it,” Nicolette smacked him lightly, then immediately beamed and bounced in place again. “You know what this means, right?” 

“We’re gonna get shown up announcing our engagement by you guys announcing it too anywhere we go?” Grant asked, then laughed when Nicolette smacked him. 

“No. We’ll stay quiet for a while. Promise. Anyway: Double. Wedding,” Nicolette cut him off from further protest. 

“Hell no!” Matthew called. “That’s our day. Again, I’m not getting shown up on our own damn day.”

“What, afraid I’m gonna look better than you?”  she challenged. 

Matthew promptly opened and shut his mouth a couple of times, then took a decidedly long drink of his coke. 

Nicolette sighed dramatically, then leaned against him. “Fine. No double wedding…” she began and offered Grant a conspiratorial wink, to which he put his hands up at. “But promise me I can at least plan most of yours for you.” 

“Not all of it,” Grant cut in. 

She shrugged. “Suits at least. And color scheme. I’m not letting you guys have a wedding that’s as much of a design disaster as you two are.” 

Matthew went to protest again, and when he heard John laugh and then saw the man raise his eyebrows in agreement, he sighed. “Fine. Deal.” 

“And in case everything is booked up somehow, or my fiancee here claims it’s not good enough for you two, you’re welcome to this place for the service or reception,” John offered. “I mean, I could just help arrange it at Falls End church. Must look fabulous decorated for a wedding.” 

“Where would decor that would fit your guys’ standards fit in that place?” Grant asked. 

John shrugged. “Outside? Nice lattice, maybe get some doves, have ‘em fly everywhere.” He paused to consider. “Hell, crows could be a more fun contrast. Would fit you guys more.”

Grant laughed and shook his head. “Sounds like a chintzy disaster. No thank you.” 

John shrugged. “Fair enough. Again, if you’d like my house, it’s open to you.”

Matt looked around. “We might take you up on that, on second thought. Grant’s uncles would lose their damn minds over this place.” 

“It’s… not gonna be too awkward for you?” Grant asked. “I mean we made the joke about this party being your two exes who are dating and your current girlfriend, but hosting our wedding’s another story.” 

John scoffed and waved a dismissive hand. “Contrary to… apparent popular belief,  I can handle seeing my exes happy- and judging by how this is going, in the same room. It’s not bad at all, so repeating it will be fine. Despite my apprehension and what I said earlier,  you’re two of my dearest exes, so I’d still like to do right by you.” 

Grant smiled softly. “That’s mighty kind.” 

Matthew nodded in agreement. 

“Well, you’re both worth it. Even when you take pride in insulting me,” John answered. 

“We love you too,” Matthew replied. 

Nicolette looked between them all, then reached over in order to clap Grant and John on the knees. “Look at this, my boys, we’re all gonna be married soon. Oooooh, what if we did a honeymoon together? That would be okay, right?” 

“Whitehorse would kill us,” Matthew pointed out. “We already did that joint vacation.”

“Nope, he’s caught in a checkmate because he’s gonna walk me down the aisle. He’s gonna be too giddy to say no to anything for at least a year after that,” Nicolette pointed out. She looked between them. “Pllleeeeeeeeaaaaaaasssssee?” she stuck out her bottom lip.

Grant looked at Matthew, who put his hands up. He made a mental note to stop doing that so Matthew would stop getting it from him. He sighed. “We’ll think about it. That work for you?” 

“Yes!” Nicolette flicked his nose, then stood in order to go sit in John’s lap. She reached back and got her own nearly forgotten plate of food and held it so both of them could pick at it. 

Grant rolled his eyes, then looked towards his boyfriend- fiance, now, he corrected, and the thought made his chest flutter- and raised an eyebrow. 

“No, fuck you, this is still my junk food,” Matthew objected playfully. It took him all of ten seconds to relent and feed him one of the brownies. When Nicolette ‘aww’ed in response, he threw the piece that Grant had missed at her, then went back to eating.

Grant laughed too, then took Matthew’s distraction as an opportunity to simply watch him. He was happy, relaxed- something either of them didn’t get to feel often. He looked at the other two. Nicolette was always outgoing, always recharged by people around her being equally happy, but even John looked more at ease than he had seen him before. Whatever apprehension about having exes and his current love under the same roof had already ebbed away from the good news and energy in the place. It was… beyond nice. He still couldn’t believe it. Four souls in varying states of being lost had found each other, then love had gone and paired them off, but here they were, still strong as a unit- a family in its own right. And he had never felt so at home in his life, just sitting in their company as they chatted away. It was going to be an interesting, exhausting few months or years, however long they picked until the wedding, but with them, he could handle anything- and he’d love every minute. 

[screechingkingdomhottub]

the billie situation

Can people stop misrepresenting the onision and billie situation? Everyone was in the wrong there and I’m sick of hearing “oh Billie just smoked some weed it’s all fine” like do not get me wrong, I don’t like Onision but I get it.  1. Onion boy was against weed before he even knew about Billie, he spoke about how he dated Adrienne (although unnamed, it was someone he dated in that time frame) and she got into pot after they dated, then when he met her latter on, she was so much dumber, they couldn’t hold a conversation basically. That’s his own anecdote but to be honest I kinda believe it, every stoner I met has become dumber as time goes on, feel like i’m talking to a 9 year old half the time.   2. Billie broke a contract she knowingly agreed to. “No partaking in Illegal activity” is right there and she agreed to that. If she was so dependant on marijuana as she claims to be then she could’ve thought “oh wait i break the law regularly should probably not agree and instead say something here” or maybe she thought well she’s in washington where it’s legal so maybe that’s fine but she goes home and breaks the law. Onision’s reaction was weird af and the contract is a little strange (I think it’s okay to have rules of “i will break up with you if you x,y,z” flat out there).  3. The guy has a family, drugs can ruin families (before any of you give me bullshit about how weed isn’t one of those: I, myself, have had issues due to family members becoming unstable due to weed so fuck off) like he does a lot of shit but maybe don’t blame a man for not wanting potential drug addicts(not addicted but overly reliant on which is the same fucking thing) around his children.  I’m growing really tired that everyone gives more attention to a grown ass woman who literally just broke a contract she knowingly agreed to than Adam, a minor who was groomed into sending nudes while underage.  Let that sink in. Most people would rather defend and talk about Billie who knowingly stayed in a relationship where she’d have to constantly backstab and lie to her partners than a minor who got groomed. I don’t feel bad for talking shit about Billie cause like her best friend Ayalla they’re all preachy about anti-racism and blm but support people like Blaire White who built their career off of racism and hate. And I can support this thesis bout Adam because half of you have no fucking clue who that is, do you? Yeah he’s the male victim that was on Chris Hansen’s show once and then everyone forgot about cause “girls” and “women” are easier to say, who cares about misgendering a victim when we can talk about “you got mad at her for smoking pot” god you’re stupid.  So choose your fighter anti-o’s:  1. Billie had it so much worse than Adam!!!! 2. I’m transphobic, fuck pronouns 3. Adam deserves more support and awareness. 

[foxxtailsfromthedreamrelm]

The Storm

THE STORM

    We had been told there would be a horrible storm to hit soon, that it would be one of the worst we had ever experienced in our small town in Florida.  So what else would a group of young adults do, but spend it in the best hotel we had for what could have been the last weekend we’d ever have?

    It was me, my boyfriend, Neel, his brothers, my friends, and a copious amount of Weed, alcohol, and whatever else the brothers could get a hold of. Usually I would never approve of such behavior on such an epic scale, but if our world is ending? As they say, “When in Rome, do as the Romans do.”  I still wasn’t going to partake in much more than the, “simple,” things.

I was standing in the rain, on the Patio of the Penthouse suite that Neel and I had taken for our own, Smoking a strawberry blunt of my favorite strand that we had managed to get a hold of, Girl Scout Cookies. I had an ashtray of Granite that I ignored. All of these fine things that we had either acquired from pillaging through other evacuated buildings and businesses, or the Hotel itself and I still worn my normal attire; a graphic Tee of my favorite movie, skinny jeans that fit just right, Doc Martens, and my favorite black hoodie.

I stared pensively out over the balcony, wondering just how this weekend might end. Would we make it?   Would I spend the last days of my life breaking every damned rule in the book?  Would I even care about it when it was over?  I thought of all the things in my life that had gone wrong, and all the things that I wished had never happened, and how trivial it all seemed now. In-spite of not only the Storm but the potentiality of the end of my life, which wasn’t a new topic, it used to be on my mind all the time.  I thought of everything that had I done in my life and how pointless it was.  

    I was starting to get much too far into the recesses of my mind, tracing the little pink ribbons on my skin, that used to mean so much to me. Knowing how far I had come and how much happier I was in life, despite this fucking storm and its threat to me and my loved ones lives.

    All of a sudden as I started to change my thoughts to something happier, Neel, the best thing in my life, my light in the dark, the sword I fought demons off with every day; I felt a hand on my shoulder.  Before I could even start to think about who it could be, it spun me around and pulled me out of the deep parts of my mind and I saw him, Neel.  Looking much like me, in his typical clothes; a Graphic tee shirt, jeans that hugged his hips perfectly, and his favorite pair of red DC’s, scruffy but well-kept beard, black hair slicked to the side like he always had it, that exquisitely complimented his perfect, medium toned brown skin, I drank all of it in.  He held me by the waist, and asked,

“Why are you up here all alone, crazy?”  He pulled his own blunt out from behind his ear and lit it; I stopped him, finally using the ashtray to hold my still lit one. I pulled his face close and blew the smoke I had just inhaled into his lungs.

    “I mean, we can stay up here alone together, if that’s how you feel.”  I laughed and sparked my Lighter and he lit up.

“If this Storm is,-“ he stopped me, finger on my lips,

    “Shhh, None of that princess.” He held me close by my waist, and then gave me my own lung-full of his smoke, kissed me Hard, looked me intently in the eyes, and said, “Come on, Gudiya let’s go find the boys,”  my heart melted, and swept me out of the room by my hand.

I followed him like a little puppy, happy as can be, my hand still in his. And suddenly, we were all running through the halls of the Hotel, which had been evacuated, No reasonable, working adults to tell us to not do this or that.  We made it a game, whoever could find the most expensive, useless, seemingly meaningful, etc. type of things on each floor would, “Win.”

We settled in the main lobby of the hotel, when we had run through the entire place at least 8 times, and started talking and ingesting previously mentioned copious amounts of all things, food included, which we had to sloppily make ourselves, seeing as no one was working or even living in the city currently.

We talked about various things from. “Never have I ever’s,” to. “What if’s?” to “Remember when’s?” and everything else in between, we spilled our guts over everything and we had no secrets left.  Finally, Damian looked out towards the glass front of the hotel, scanning the area in his daze.  He looked very shocked however, and looked at each of us in turn and said, quiet worriedly, “Who the FUCK is that? And why didn’t they evacuate?”  

    Everyone spun around and had the same questioning look on their face; I was last to turn around, and my stomach dropped. Standing in the door way of the entrance stood Roger, one of my long ago ex boyfriends, whom I never thought I would see again seeing as we hadn’t talked in years.  I quickly turned back around and whispered, “Shit,”  I looked up at the crew to see confused faces all pointed at me and darting back to him.

    I tried to calmly and quietly notify all of them of who it was without Roger hearing, who’s footsteps I was becoming more aware of. They all nodded knowingly and I ran up the stairs to the second floor trying not to make it look like I was running away. I heard Roger approach the boys with a timid tone, “I know we were supposed to evacuate, but….” and I was out of earshot.  I went into the closest room and threw it open, ran out to the window and lit another blunt. Why did he have to show up to our self-named, “End of the World Party?”  I mean what were the odds?! That he’d come HERE to OUR hotel?

    Neel had followed barely a minute behind me, probably leaving the reigns on what to do about our unannounced guest to Chief, his little brother, second in command after himself. He gently touched my shoulder; I was facing out of the window. I didn’t jump because I knew it was him.  

    “Hey princess.. Are you okay?”

    “I just don’t know what to do or to say. Why did he have to show up? Why is he even HERE? Did he know I was going to be here? Or was I just that lucky?” my eyes started to well up.

    Neel held me around the waist, looking out into the horizon with me, “According to what he said,” and he plucked my blunt out of my fingers, took a hit, held and said on his exhale, “he was walking around town until he found somewhere he that had people in it, something about, ‘not thinking it was necessary to evacuate,’ and so he was wandering around and found us.”

    I sighed heavily, “Then I guess it’s my lucky day…”

    “Come on, baby, it’s OUR End of the World Party, but we can’t just leave him out there..” He handed me back my blunt and I took a long contemplative drag off of it, “I suppose you’re right, but how do I explain me running off?” I asked.

    “I dunno, ‘I thought I needed to run for protection?’”

    We walked downstairs after I took a few more drags to calm my nerves. There was chatter as we approached; they seemed to be getting along well despite them knowing who who they were in the room with.

    “Olympia? Is that you?” Roger said sounding just as taken a back as I felt when I had first seen him walk in.

    “Roger?!” I feigned surprise, “I thought I needed to run for cover, I didn’t know who was coming in or what they were gonna do.”

    “What are the odds that I’d walk in here and you’d be here?”

    “Yeah, imagine that,” I tried to sound sincere.

    We all sat around and talked more into the wee hours of the morning, it was nearly five when I realized what time it was. Roger was surprisingly courteous, and didn’t bring up anything surrounding our time together before now; the boys all seemed to take somewhat of a liking to him, as well.  I couldn’t be mad either way.

    Slowly one by one the boys went up to their rooms they had chosen and went to sleep sometime past nine the next morning, I laughed. We never all made it this far into the next morning without at least one of us falling asleep or having to be put to sleep from being too crossed.

    Neel, Roger and I all retired to the, “Stash Room,” where we have all of our supplies for our weekend. We all rolled up and lit one each. We all continued to talk for a while longer. After a while, Roger chimed in about how thankful he was that we had all let him stay with us and were being so kind to him in spite of everything that had happened between him and me.  The room grew tense. Neel looked at me and looked at Roger and said, “Well, I think it’s about time I hit the sack..”  He stood and stretched awkwardly, obviously wanting out of the conversation.

“Yeah I think you’re right baby, I’ll be behind you in just a few minutes.”

“Okay, babe, stay safe.” And he left to our suite which was just a few doors away.  I watched him intently as he walked away.  Wanting to follow but also surprisingly wanting to catch up a little more with Roger.  

    “Hate to see him go, but love to watch him leave?” I heard. And was brought back to reality, Neel had already left the room but I was still looking towards the door. I shook my head, in a daze from all of the smoking and drinking I had been doing. I took another puff of my blunt, and held it in for a long time.  I looked over at Roger, and nodded, “Yeah, something like that.”  

    I was still staring at the door; Unsure of so many things in life.  Why did I want to catch up with Roger?  Would we all make it out of the storm?  Should we have evacuated?

    Again I realized that I was staring towards the door.  I closed my eyes, took a deep breath of semi-fresh air, and turned to look back at Roger again, realizing I was being rude. When I opened my eyes, I took a startled breathe in, and my lungs were full of his smoke, I continued to inhale, a second nature at this point in my life. I was watching the smoke go from his mouth into mine, and he kissed me.

    I was taken aback, I pushed him back. “What the fuck, Roger?”  He kissed me again. I kissed him back; forgetting everything.  Forgetting where I was, forgetting the situation, the place, myself.  I didn’t think, if I had, had I not forgotten myself, I wouldn’t have let this happen, not in a million years; but I did.

    It was over quickly; I wasn’t surprised.  We lay there; a slight awkwardness clung to the air.  I continued to smoke, still not absorbing what had just happened.  I stood, dressed myself and lit another blunt, “You should go.” I said with no emotion.

    Roger had gotten up as I did; I turned to face him; his head hanging. I didn’t feel bad for him; I didn’t feel anything for that matter. He looked up at me and I raised my eyebrows.

    “You should go.” I said again, more forcefully. He looked down at the ground and nodded solemnly.  He dressed himself and left; giving me one last look before he closed the door behind him.

    I took a few long hard drags off of my blunt, nothing entering my mind, not what I had done, not Neel, not the boys, my parents, the storm; I felt and was nothing. I went into the bathroom, looked in the mirror, a stony look on my face, I went and took a shower. I smoked like a train in the shower I wasn’t in there for more than fifteen minutes, I cleaned myself and continued to block everything out; just feeling the blunt hitting me. Neel hadn’t left more than two hours before. I got out of the shower and dressed again. I was just getting ready to put my shirt and hoodie on, when the lights all went out.  I hurriedly threw them on, Neel was in the room within seconds.

    “Babe, we have to leave, right now,”  I looked at him, surprised he was got there so quickly. “I was on my way to come get you, it was getting close to time to evacuate, but we need to ditch everything and leave NOW! We aren’t taking any chances especially since the lights are freaking out.”

    “The- the boys..” I stuttered, trying to come back out of wherever I had gone mentally after Neel had left the room.

    “Yes, YES they’re okay I had already sent them on their way before I came to get you, they’re heading for the shelter, we need to get supplies on the way, LET’S GO, Olympia!”

    I made a start as fast as I could for my shoes, threw them on, grabbed my blunt case, and we were on our way out. We ran down the streets, looking for any house that didn’t look already ransacked from previous looters, who may or may not have been us. We saw people running through the same streets, some simply running for the shelter, others, doing exactly what we were; we just ran harder. It seemed like ages before we found one.  We were close to the Ocean side; we could feel the wind becoming more and more intense; Neel told me to run in and check to find whatever I could and check over the hills out of one of the windows as I did so; he was going to stand guard outside to make sure no other looters could surprise me. I obeyed and ran in the most immaculate house I had ever seen. Past the Foyer, past the living area, into the kitchen I went; I stopped dead in my tracks. The entire back half of the kitchen was one giant window; and I saw the storm brewing in the not so far distance.  Ten or twenty miles out; I saw the eye of the storm; it took my breath away.  I opened one of the many windows lining the walls, and everything that had happened that morning hit me all at once; I fell to my knees. What had I done? How could I have hurt him like this? How could I tell him? He was my everything and I knew it the minute I had met him years before hand. I held back my tears, and made my decision. I stood nodded hard to myself and started gathering all the things he had told me to.  The wind started whistling through the window I had left open. I decided it was enough, and ran back to the front door where Neel was waiting for me.

    “Did you find everythi-“ before he could finish, I kissed him harder than I ever have, like it was the last time I’d ever see him. I pulled back, and held his face in my hands; drinking in all my favorite things about him I could; memorizing every last flaw on his face, the flaws I loved so much. He looked at me confused.

    “I just love you more than life itself, Neel. You know that right?”

“Yes, Olympia, of course I do; and I love you too. You know when we make it out of this, we’re getting married. I promised you, when they announced that the storm was coming.” I started crying, he wiped my tears away; time seemed to stand still when we were so close. I shook my head, reminding myself of the choice I had made. I was no longer in a stooper, the rushing and running had sobered me up. I knew it was the only way.

    “I remember baby, but if I don’t” he tried to shoosh me, I moved his hand, I repeated myself with more force. “IF I don’t make it, PLEASE, don’t live for my memory, keep me and all of our good times in it, but please promise you’ll move on.”

    “Why are you saying these things? You’re going to make it, WE’RE going to make it.”  

    “Swear to me!”  He continued to look confused at me, but nodded his head, “I swear,”

    “Good, I need you to go on to the shelter, everything is in the box, I’ll be right behind you, I just need to get a few more things, I don’t want to weigh you down with too much at once, and there’s no time to split it all up after I get it, take what you have and go, I’ll gather some more and be not five minutes behind you. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if..” I trailed off wouldn’t be able to live with myself if.. what? If he knew? If I had to tell him? If I never told him?

    “if I was the reason we didn’t make it before the gates shut. You go ahead and let them know I’m coming. Have them keep them open for as long as they can. Please, trust me,” I had his hands in mine.

    “This doesn’t make any sense, Olympia..”“Neel there’s no time for sense please just run, you have enough time to make it, GO!”   He still looked unsure, “Have faith in me,” That was all he needed, he kissed me again hard on the mouth as it started pouring; he put his forehead on mine, and whispered, “I love you, Gudiya,” “I love you too, Meri Jaan, remember everything I said,” He nodded, and was off.