#How to balance heart and mind
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Full Moon in Gemini: Cold Moon Energy Update – December 15, 2024
Keywords: Full Moon in Gemini 2024, Cold Moon December 2024, Throat Chakra healing, Full Moon rituals for clarity, Mercury Retrograde December 2024, Jupiter opposition Mercury, Ambrosial hours spiritual work, Full Moon guided journal, Healing crystals for the Full Moon, Succulent plant care for Gemini energy, How to balance heart and mind, Moon phases and spiritual growth, Yoga poses for Throat…
#Ambrosial hours spiritual work#Cold Moon December 2024#Crystals for mental clarity#Family moon phase rituals#Full Moon energy healing#Full Moon guided journal#Full Moon in Gemini 2024#Full Moon rituals for clarity#Gemini Moon rituals and activities#Healing crystals for the Full Moon#How to balance heart and mind#Journal prompts for the Full Moon#Jupiter opposition Mercury#Mercury Retrograde December 2024#Moon phases and spiritual growth#Plants for emotional balance#Reiki healing for communication#Succulent plant care for Gemini energy#Throat Chakra healing#Yoga poses for Throat Chakra
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mind and heart beating the shit out of each other. originally drawn for an art raffle in the cjfs x_O
#my art#chonny jash#cccc#mind#heart#not pictured: mind falling on his ass bc he did some fucked up maneuvers and immediately lost his balance and fell#cus like...uhh.....how else do you choke someone with their hoodie if not leveraging the force of gravity.....#??? idk its lame hes lame theyre both lameeee#pretty happy with the method i used for shading this one. fuck if i remember what i did tho ill have to stare at it for a bit#painted.....erased......maybe a gaussian blur...? i dont think there was a blur maybe it was just painted and erased#the puzzle
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I am NOT looking forward to that Sunkissed talk today.
Already heard him explain it to Pangi and was not impressed. His plan was to "give Zam a taste of (her) medicine by helping the enemy team" or something like that (he implied, like Zam had done with the Bacon wardens , and the Jumper hearts etc..). And it was a way to show her how its "bad" to play all sides... which.. urgh....
Zams whole thing is about Balance: He helped Bacon because, realistically Bacon was doing something for the server (by making it active again) and was gonna get banned by natural causes. So Zam decided she wanted to be a helping hand in making everything more fun, and make Bacon last just long enough for everyone to be satisfied in the arc. Bacon was alone in his effort, a clear underdog. When He found the materials chest, Bacon was only on 2. He needed the help or he could have easily gotten banned
(ik he said he would have probably gotten the materials himself, but like technically he could've died obtaining them, while afking a farm. Or something. Ending the arc randomly, casually. In an even less satisfying way, as Bacon put his banning as the "stop spawning wardens" condition)
Without Zams help, things would've played out differently. And its not like she wasn't out for Bacon's blood, she wanted to ban him almost more than anyone. She Just wanted to give more time for him to achieve his true goal of understanding Subz.
Again to Zam it's all about Balance and helping the server itself function, so when a low-hearts player has a cool idea, even tho they're your enemy, if they're in dire need: you help them, because nobody else will. It gives people a chance to log on the server, and do stuff, and be active enough to have those ideas and put them into fruition (and make the server intresting. A way to make things HAPPEN). It's such a noble and important cause for a content-oriented-server. That recently seems to be more pvp-oriented (or that's how the chunpire's ideals would seem to make it).
And I would like to say that there is NOTHING wrong with not understanding Zam's goals and her view on the server. Nobody is expected to, and realistically, it is more interesting for people to oppose her.
But what is odd, is having a player, seemingly piece together Zam was helping Bacon. Confront her about it, and sit there and pretend to have a complete understanding of it, and promise to always be by her side. Just to go ahead and do something behind her back, and then claim to be doing it for Zam's sake ????????? The only way you could see these situations as similar, is by viewing what Zam did with Bacon and Jumper, as "Betrayal" yourself, which would again prove that Derap did NOT understand Zam.
It's not a crime to betray, it's more annoying how Derap doesn’t see it as such, and thinks he's somehow in the right, and is gonna try and make Zam feel bad for it, by "apologising" for all the wrong things. But, again, he has already kinda revealed his true thoughts in part. "I didn't like that you gave Jumper hearts". which, again, makes Derap's way of thinking closer to Mapicc's than Zam. Then, why did he lie back then?
If he TRULY understood Zam, he could easily see how giving Bacon hearts and giving Chungpire are not that comparable. If the goal is Balance, helping a team which is already significantly stronger than yours, and has goals that are fundamentally opposite to them, is not really,,, the move, per say... Atlas was the underdog. The chumpire would have probably won every fight and confrontation even without the extra information.
It's almost like Derap pretended to understand her just to be by her side, while not listening or respecting her enough to ACTUALLY understand her motives. Which is something that has been happening her season between sunkissed. Derapchu pushing this relationship, repeating the same phrases of "I care about you most" "ill always be by your side" Sweet stuff, said in a vacuum. But when you listen to the way he talks to other people, you see that mask fall.
Will never forget him telling Zam over and over again how "nobody respected you for how much care you put into rebuilding spawn!". But when Bacon was the one rebuilding it, Derap would get in the call and ask the same damn questions Zam was always so tired of other people asking. "Why are you doing this Bacon? What's the point?" And even started saying stuff like "why even rebuild spawn the way it was before? Why not make new builds?". The same type of questions Zam has been asked time and time again. The same questions that someone who actually understands her Knows not to ask. Because in a way, that is exactly the kind of disrespect Zam was shown by other players. The behaviour Derap was condemning in front of Zam, but practicing on another Spawn-repairer.
And then he lied to Zam about Bacon choosing to not repair Zam's builds? and trying to claim he was completely alone in the warden efforts. Says it was a miscommunication error, but it was really convenient how it was used to push this idea of "it's just us two against the world" sentiment that he had been trying to convince Zam of all season huh....
((Then the Flame fights happened, and Derap called her "insane" and "crazy" for basically throwing herself at the enemy time and time again, and said that She was "stupid" for not asking for his help. yet on Evbo-day when Mane, Flame and Clown were chasing her. Derap made some sly comment of dismissal when asked if he wanted to help Zam at all. (something like responding "probably somewhere getting killed by flame idk" when asked where Zam was... or he said something about there being no point. i don't remember exaclty and i'm not bothered enough to go check, sorry). But then seemed so proud of her after. convienent))
And let's not forget the whole “forgetting to tell her he had been using exploited items (prot-4 armour) for months” ordeal. Something Zam has been deeply against for YEARS. saying "no more secrets" but being caught in another lie again and again, and saying "he forgot" to tell her that one small detail... but it happened like 3 times in a row. I already said it somewhere, but to me, that day is when Sunkissed should've ended as a teamup.
But back to the betrayal itself. From the way he put it, i got that, he didn’t agree with the way Zam thinks (despite telling her the whole season he did), and instead of communicating that, he was gonna go behind his back, to give the enemy team information, to “show her a lesson” on why playing all sides is bad. (again proving that He didn’t listen to or understand Zam at all, only pretended to).
It’s just so wild to me, because this is definitely targeted, he’s gonna say this was for “Zam’s greater good”, but you cannot tell me that this doesn’t come from bitterness. He didn’t like Zam giving hearts to Jumper at all. Then says “we need teammates Zam, sort things out with Mapicc”. But when the teammate who helps is ManePear, Derap isn’t happy (which.. Okay,, fair enough ig,, but how come Zam HAS to settle his differences with Mapicc, but he can’t with Mane?). When talking to Pangi Derap says “I would never work with Mapicc!” when that is exactly what he was trying to push Atlas into doing. Also, to add, he DID work with Mapicc When he GAVE HIM PANGI’S COORDS in secret, again when his goal was to teach “Pangi a lesson”, lying again.
And if we REALLY wanna compare this with the giving bacon hearts situation, there is ONE clear difference between those two situations. When Zam was confronted by Derap on whether or not she did it, Zam confessed everything. He was honest with Derapchu, explained his reasoning and everything, because he felt bad lying to him. But we know damn well Derapchu doesn’t feel bad lying to Zam, that’s all he’s been doing this season. When they were face to face, in that base, Zam asked again and again if Derapchu was betraying, and Derapchu goes “Are you crazy???? Are you insane? I would never work WITH MAPICC” now we know he was clearly latching onto a technicality, he wanted to work with Minute (who works with Mapicc, and told him everything), but he never misses a chance to make Zam feel lesser than for his paranoia, and talks down to her. Because he thinks he knows what’s best for her. During the Bacon confrontantion Derapchu insisted that he wasn't mad at Zam for the hearts themelves, but more of the fact that she didn't tell the team, which, when looking back, is pretty ironic. Because Zam in the end conefssed everything to him when confronted, Derap didn't.
Then when Zam tries to kill him anyway. Derapchu, after running away, has THE NERVE to message her “i forgive you” before logging out. A slap to the face. (im genuinely going to rip my hair out thinking back to that).
Derap says to Zam. “I forgive you” beucase, at that point, Zam didn't have enough proof of the betrayal yet to be 100% sure (the killing attempt was a test after all), so he wanted her to doubt herself, and make her think she was somehow at fault (because someone who needs to be forgiven has to have done something wrong,, right?) By sending that message Derap was targeting the fondness Zam had for him at one point. And trying to manipulate his way back into the team. During all of this Derap is betraying, but doesn't think he is. Insane stuff.
Then Woogie comes in after shouting “what the fuck did you do” making Zam feel guilty for everything, as if she was the one at fault, which lead to her throwing herself into the void (the guilt tripping worked). And then, later, she gets the proof straight from Mapicc’s mouth, and Here comes Derap saying “I’m sorry I lied to you” in messages. Only sorry when caught.
Genuinly so frustrating, but intresting... Derap pretends to understand Zam to her face, to keep her by his side, but his actions are fueled by bitterness of his misunderstanding of her. he is the one who put himself in the situation of "always being by Zam's side" when he doesn't even make an effort to properly understand her, and only repeats sweet nothings to gain her affection and trust.
Last thing. At the end of the Pangi talk, Derap says that his goal is to "save everyone", to have everyone unbanned. and, again, nice goal. awesome, you unbanned a bunch of people. okay, but that "everyone" seems to be a little distorted. With the screenshot he posted on twitter, it seems he unbanned everyone EXCEPT Flame, Mane (and Evbo). Just like he didn't like Zam giving hearts to Jumper. hypocrite. It's more "Help everyone who hasn't been mean to me" which, isn't a bad goal, you can have that as a goal, but don't try to hide yourself behind a noble cause when you're as selfish as the rest of the server. nothing wrong with that again, you need to own up to it.
but this again prooves that he his and Zam's goal never truly aligned.
#Zam said that in the past. if Flame and Mane were to be on 1 heart. she wouldn't wanna ban them#even before they kinda made up and helped eachother. i don't think she would intentionally keep them banned#selflessness until the end#and it's kinda intresting that in a way:#PrinceZam#notoruisly bad at communication#has been open with this goal and mindset for a while (especially to her team)#but it was Derapchu who instread of communicating his ideals directly#“wanted to show Zam a lesson”. again weird way to put it#for someone who said he had her best intrest in mind.#“everyone is so unfair to you PrinceZam” <- Derapchu#but then instead of talking to her#goes behind her back to help the enemy#odd behaviour#idk if i made it clear enough. the chungpire doesn't need extra info to win#so the betrayal was just the nail in the coffin that sealed Atlas's fate#no balance in that at all#it's like if Zam was like “to show you why exploits are bad. im gonna exploit even harder than ro and mapicc in my castle!” (s4)#like... no.... you're just doing what they did but worse.. because it's targeted...#whatever im done thinking about this#we'll see how the convo goes tonight#i'll try not to crash tf out#i kinda lost the plot maybe while rambling i feel like#forgive me#hope this is cohesive enough#derapchu#sunkissed#lifesteal spoilers#lifesteal
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I know I've been on about this for a while now and I'm being a hater but you're telling me SydCarmy was "always meant to be platonic" even though there are two seasons of writing making use of tried-and-true explicitly romantic tropes, themes and writing signals, and SydLuca is going to be romantic because...he was nice to her on screen for a few minutes?
I don't even care if people ship SydLuca, or if they just prefer it, but you can't honestly tell me that you believe Carmy was always meant to be a friend but Luca is an obvious love interest.
Just because Syd and Carmy haven't kissed or confessed their love to each other doesn't mean that isn't very obviously the direction this show is going. The Bear has already shown you who is endgame. It has shown you every episode of the show so far.
Honestly I really don't think The Bear fanbase understands this show or cares about these characters or the story being told here, which is unfortunate because this show is shockingly well-written in comparison to most shows right now, and we should be so grateful for it but all we're doing is complaining that the writers led us on by not making a ship canon fast enough. It's just. Sad.
#The Bear#SydCarmy#I was like a casual fan of this show two days ago#and now seeing how little respect this show gets from it's fanbase I'm losing my mind#I mean I shipped SydCarmy before anyway but now it means so much to me#it means so much to see such a realistic and purposefully well paced romance take place#so many shows portray romantic relationships and their beginnings in ways that just don't really happen in real life#and this show very purposefully said no. These are characters who are strangers. who are working together. Who are in a tense environment#and each of them has problems - one of them the type of problems that makes developing new relationships pretty difficult#these two would not get together right away. It would take a long time. And there would be ups and downs.#And even when that's the case. Even if when it takes a long time and doesn't go smoothly and is hard -#it can still be beautiful. It can still be romantic. It can still happen and here's how#and I'm just so inspired genuinely. It is so difficult to write romance without being cliche and so difficult to write it in a way that#could actually happen in real life and I really do hope I can write something half as good some day#and then to know so many people have no appreciation for it at all#because they prefer the shows that have characters make eye contact a few times and then confess their love for each other like#it's just fucking sad. So sad that so few people have any appreciation for good writing especially the difficult of romance writing#like I really just don't even know what to tell you. In real life these two would not have confessed to each other yet. They would not have#kissed yet. They would not have even realized they have feelings for each other yet because those feelings would still be developing#and I also want to point out that given the disparity in power between Syd and Carmy in season 1 it wouldn't have been healthy for them to#get together much sooner. He was her boss. He was also her idol. Before they can even get together that needs to be balanced out.#And then on top of that don't you see the value in Carmy realizing the dream girl he's romanticized in his head - Claire - isn't actually#what he wants? Don't you see the beauty in him being disillusioned from that? And realizing that Syd is what he wants?#Don't you see the beauty in Syd having an idealized vision of what Carmy The Great Chef is like realizing she was wrong and that he's human#and flawed and then realizing - she loves him anyway? She loves him more for not being on a pedestal and for having his flaws?#Are you telling me that even thinking about this doesn't move you? Doesn't make your heart ache a little?#And again - ship and let ship - but what is Luca? What is Luca if not just what she was hoping Carmy would be when she wen to The Beef?#What is he if not just another man who she has not seen under pressure yet? Not seen reliving trauma yet? Not been her boss yet?#It's easy to look at him and think he's better than Carmy - and that's the point. That's the point The Bear is making.#It is easy to want someone you don't know. It's hard to want to someone you do know. But that's what love requires and that's the point
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That is, huh. A lot more of a thought out response then what I was going for lol. I was like “what little rat does that remind you of” “the dude spying in the castle just now” when I rhetorically said “what shadowpeach does that remind you of” and you debunked it 😭 but since we’re talking about this now
Wiki calls em “an interconnected, self-perpetuating cycle. Yin and yang can be thought of as complementary and at the same time opposing forces that interact to form a dynamic system. Yin and yang transform each other: like an undertow in the ocean, every advance is complemented by a retreat, and every rise transforms into a fall.” Idk about you but with Mac getting chaos powers, I figured the show might take inspo from this, what with the cycles and all too. There might be an opposite “order” power in contrast to Nines. If Pandora’s box is literal, MK is “hope” there’s a lot of other symbolism fandom likes the stereotypically portray into their ShadowPeach lol. But they have day/night too. Nobody has to think too hard to take inspo, and most shows don’t in my experience. Shout out to Ninjago and ATLA just mixing culture and language in a way that annoys people and placing it under one umbrella.
well i mean, lmk is already playing with the themes of order and chaos. except there Order was on the side of the antagonists while MK was Chaos (being the harbinger and all). we saw it with LBD and Azure and now with Nines
also, lmk’s order can be seen when it talks about Fate and Destiny and even the “story”, but in a way where they are shown as being too fixed and bureaucratic compared to the lessons being taught to MK and by MK which are “your fate (order) is your own and can only be determined by you.”
we had it with MK telling LBD “do you really think the universe cares about any of us?”
we had it when Macky told MK “if you tread the paths already carved for you, then you doom yourself into a self-fulfilling prophecy”
we have it even more explicitly in s5 from Wukong: “sometimes you need to carve your own path and fuck all the rest”
lmk is all about finding that balance between the chaos of your mind and the forced order of the world around you. our own daily ying and yang that we must balance, and that is why i don't place those themes with shadowpeach just because it takes away from the crux of the show where it’s original focus is on MK and how he changes and grow throughout the seasons
tbh i think their day/night themes with ying/yang are significantly minor. the major focus with them is the themes of betrayal and reconciliation and past haunts
#btw the quotes are me paraphrasing. unfortunately swk did not say fuck#also sorry for talking your joke ask seriously it will probably happen again#also i know i prob say this a lot but jttw (the text that inspired the show) is a Buddhist allegory on how to balance your life [journey]#in order to reach Nirvana/the next life. in the story Tripitaka (aka Tang) does achieve his goal in delivering the scrolls & reaches godhoo#meanwhile Pigsy (Zhu Baije) does not because the pig demon held onto his vices throughout the journey (rip)#overall jttw has to do with tempering your mind will heart and desires in a way that balances you to some order in a chaotic world#lmk on the otherhand flips the script#the outside world is too orderly while our minds are too chaotic to the point that the world tries to force us to fit into its perfection#which (as the show shares) isn’t healthy#i’m getting a little too technical and showing the author’s hand rn because these are themes the writers make to their audience#who are supposed to be 10-13#and they are ppl who are quickly finding their own agency and new discoveries and it might not fit in with the world they’re used to#but yeah#sorry i think i derailed in the tags#lmk#lmk s5 spoilers#lmk s5#lmk spoilers#lmk analysis#asks
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"why are you so worried abt random accidents, stuff like that rarely ever happens" well you see I'm too disabled to ever evacuate a situation on my own, so I'd rather be a safety advocate now than become a statistic later
#like. part of the reason i avoid large crowded events at all costs unless they are outdoors#is because i know for a fact i would more likely be a victim of crowd crush than any disaster like a fire#i am slow. i am very fragile. i have extremely poor balance#even if i could walk on that particular day (which is becoming less and less likely by the month)#i would be knocked over almost immediately by a light shove and be trampled#as well as like. my diminishing ability to make it UP stairs in the event of a fire in my apartment#because i live in a basement apartment and there is no elevator or alternative way upstairs in this building#if i were on an upper floor i would bear the injuries and just throw myself down the stairs if it were that severe of an emergency#i know far too well how to protect myself from a hard fall and would likely be able to avoid too severe an injury there#but if i had to crawl up the stairs i don't know if i could make it#these things are also why i fear car accidents so much#i physically cannot use an airbag without it breaking my collarbone; my height and general brittleness guarantee that#so it's just not. active. on my side of the car. like it was manually disabled#and I'm already so severely disabled i just. i can't emotionally handle something else. on top of everything#i have a do not resuscitate order in place bc of that. so if my heart stops for any reason they shouldn't try to restart it#that's a recent choice bc like. i can already barely handle the emotional toll of my current disabilities getting worse#i would not be able to handle something new unless it were like. a more severe form of one i already handle well like. losing my legs#i miss running but it wasn't as hard to give up as; say; losing use of my hands- they're the only way i can do ANYTHING nowadays#the few times my joint pain got bad enough that i fully lost use of my hands for a few days were absolute torment#and I'm far far too scared of my voice being recorded to use anything with speech to text like. it's a BAD paranoia i can't shake it#so i would just kind of. be locked out from most tech. and THAT is currently the only way it's possible for me to be social#so i would actually just fully lose my mind like it's already fragile enough i would break i would just break#i love large transport vehicles but i struggle to trust the safety of most other than trains because those tend to be. fairly safe#I've watched enough train disaster videos to know how robust the rules and regulations of modern trains are#(all regulations are written in blood!)#i trust cars very little though and since buses run on the same streets i worry. a Lot#not that there's any buses that run near my apartment the closest bus stop is three blocks away and it only comes twice a day#and it only runs to the college and nowhere else so there's. very little point to me using it#and very few ways for me to even access it in my current physical state#it's very much not an accessible bus stop the sidewalks are diagonal in most places and my right wheel is malfunctioning now bc of it
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got the posting anxiety bad tonight
#click clack#ok a peak into my thought process and anxiety here we go#ok so the art is almost done and up to standard I would post onto my art blog#BUT for some reason the thought of posting art of my ocs there scares me#because even tho it’s my art blog in my mind it’s the equivalent to a art gallery that demands being detached????? from the art#like once I share it there it’s no longer ‘mine’ but to the public#and my ocs (plus the stories that go with them) are like the closest to my heart and relinquishing them feels like a lot#a part of my imagination that I spent so much time with developing over the years to be placed up for judgement…#so then the solution could be to put it here on my personal! the online space cozy enough and filled with other posts that could easily bury#the original posts I put here#but there goes my other dilemma. i don’t want them too associated with my personal for if one day i do muster up something for publication#my big fear is that ppl will find this space and go thru everything. the fear of being perceived and judged 😵💫#all the hypotheticals and anxiety for something that may not even happen#dumb mind problems my head made up 🙄#anyway writing it out helped lol I’m posting it to my art blog I decided 👍#I have to work on getting that blog to be comfortable space to post… i should lower that silly self imposed standard I set for myself#and be whatever about ppl being aware of my online presences#maybe… [grinding my teeth] I should post my messy sketches onto my art blog…#I should take my friends suggestion and make a website to feature my ocs…🤔#idk my only other solution that doesn’t feel viable to mitigate the anxiety is to slowly introduce my ocs in the background of setting art#just a slow drip until they are in the forefront#bleghhh whatever much ado about nothing it’s like I never posted my ocs ever when I have indeed posted them before on both places ( º_º )#I’m realizing it happens too when I post too much fanart in a row… I have curator disease??? 🫨#or something I used to be very particular about what order I reblog stuff like it used to be by color and content balanced out#I still do to a lesser degree… but it used to be pretty bad#post order compulsion????#the fear of being abrupt and incohesive in between posts…#if you read this far thanks you can now see how much this consumes me 🙃
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"عيشي يومك بيومه واعملي اللي بدك ياه. امشي ورا قلبك.. عقلك صراعاته مابتخلص.. طول الوقت بينتقدك وشايفك أقل من اللي قدامك وفاشلة.. قلبك بيشوف اللي بتحبيه وبيريحك وبيمشي وراه.. شايف كل ال��اس حلوة.. مش شايفك أقل من حدا.. شايفك حلوة وبتحبي الخير وبتحبي الحياة.. بتحبي أهلك بتحبي صحابك وبتحبي كل شخص بيضحك بوجهك.. عقلك شايف كل الناس بيكرهوكي وبدهم يمشوا كلامهم عليكي وبدهم يتحكموا فيكي وبدهم يستغلوكي.. امشي ورا قلبك."
الرسالة دي كانت زي شعاع شمس خافت في يوم gloomy.
#it's so kind to have such a friend who reminds me who i am and what i am in such simple words:)#but tell me dear how to balance between heart and mind?
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in the most concrete way yet I feel like I’m getting a handle on what my flaws and weaknesses actually are lol.
#self-absorption poor impulse control an addictive personality#fiercely independent/sensitive/proud past the point of reason#anyway it feels like a real breakthrough honestly#because I’ve always known that there was stuff wrong but only in a dim sense#and this is a slow-gathering clearer picture#because the problem is that flaws don’t feel like flaws at first (so obvious I know)#my impulse can feel like inspiration! a wave of emotion always feels good! I have a rich internal life there’s a lot to think about#with regards to myself#but actually those all can be such negative and hurtful traits.#also it kills my pride to know that the people who love me already know these Lol#because they’re the ones who have to live with them!! And who are affected by them!#anyway the self-absorption one especially. I feel like there’s been so much to work through and figure out this past year#that made me turn inward more#and some of it was necessary#but I’m so aware of how much I want to get out of that space. and truly be open to other people and experiences and the world#in a way that is not just filtered through my internal journey#anyway anyway (a final thought) the pattern of my 20’s has been either self-absorption or complete absorption into the one or two things#that I/my anxiety allowed into the space of my heart and mind#as a kind of counter to the teenage state which was just information pouring in from all sides#but I would like to be able to reopen some of those informational floodgates so to speak. and let stuff in in a real and balanced way#because I don’t think I’m going to drown or be swept away in it (I am so scared of losing my identity in a sea of information)#one of my root fears! but it’s like. No. Bones not made of glass etc. etc. so you can start to think about yourself less#you SHOULD#anyway thank you for listening. there have been some very good (self) revelations lately <3#painful ones! but good
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Well. I am alive. I guess. So theres that much.
#Oh god i have a lot to say#I might aswell post in tags huh?#Where do i even start.#Uhhh well. On my main acc a mutual of mine has been sending me anons (how do i know? Because theyre always sent after the like my posts)#A lot and idk how to feel about it. I mean i like it i think but. Talking to people is weird. I dont mind. To be honest this is probably li#Like healthy. To some degree. Still dk how to feel though#Had to do taxes. Holy hell does getting them done cost. I want to die. Taxes are disgusting. Fuck taxes.#Should get a refund though so thats good#(Pretend im great at reading and understanding taxes)#(This does not contradict anything ive said in the past noooooo)#(If you can figure this out; good job. Because most of what i say is stupid technically true wording but still stupid)#I talked to one of my friends (the one i mostly talk about because i may or may not have attachment issues)#And honestly. I feel alot better. Sorta. For the most part. Feeling much better#It was simple. No explanation. Just. Its okay.#BUT. How they started it off nearly gave me a heart attack! (Not elaborating but. Tbh it read/came off as sad.)#(In the way. Actually idk how to explain normally. Like it was. Almost like concern? Dk how to explain how i read it.)#Trying to make a bracelet. Its going poorly. But trying!#I feel so embarrassed bc. I am not immune to societal standards and embarrasment for breaking them.#But lately ive felt like im lacking something visually. And i used to wear chains (until it started turning my wrist green. Pain to wash of#To fill that. Then rings. And then nothing for personal issues. And now. I just need something more.#Dont get me wrong. I love my piercings. But i need something somewhere else to balance it. It feels off.#Anyways. Im gonna go cry about having to open a new thing because it means i have to spend more money on my addictons sooner
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told the nerd to film it and he exported inside me instead!



pairing — tech nerd!gojo x fem reader
synopsis : you crushed on him for months, watched him dodge every advance like you were malware. so you dressed up a little, played a little dumber—and now he’s got you spread out in pixels and moaning in surround sound. worst part? you kinda want him to do it again.
tags/cw — masturbation, degradation, praise kink, dacryphilia, marking, overstimulation, explicit language, filming, voyeurism, fingering, oral (f receiving), unprotected sex, creampie, squirting, rough sex, dirty talk, power dynamics, obsession, lingerie, virgin weeb satoru, questionable but effective way of seducing ur crush. 13k wc, 18+ only, minors DNI.
a/n : plz don't nitpick about how a fashion vlog shouldn't be like that bc that's the point. toru doesn't know the difference because all he watches is 2d girls
the compressor’s peaking again.
satoru squints at the waveform, drags the threshold down two decibels, then listens back to the same three-second clip of voiceover for the tenth time. it’s a podcast intro, some wannabe influencer droning about mindfulness. he doesn’t care. he’s just here to make it sound less like it was recorded in a bathroom.
“sounds like shit,” he mutters, even though it’s clean. crisp. perfectly balanced.
it doesn’t feel right. nothing ever does. he tweaks the bitrate, checks the export codec, wonders if he should build a custom ffmpeg preset. maybe write a quick script to batch clean all future files—something to shave off a few milliseconds of his life. his fingers hover over the keyboard, itching for efficiency, for control.
ping.
discord overlay glows in the corner of his ultrawide monitor, a neon-green intrusion on his meticulously organized desktop. he freezes. the notification pulses like a heartbeat.
you.
he stares at it, lets it sit there like it’s radioactive. doesn’t even remember keeping you added. your username—something stupid with a heart emoji—feels like a splinter under his skin. he should’ve purged his contacts months ago, but here you are, slipping through the cracks of his digital fortress.
hey. remember when u edited our project? can u help me trim some vids pls…
his jaw tightens. of course you’d ask now, at 2 a.m., when he’s neck-deep in audio plugins and caffeine. his fingers hover over the keyboard, poised to dismiss you.
“no,” he types, then erases it.
“what kind of vids,” he tries, but deletes that too. too eager. too curious.
after a solid twenty-five seconds of overthinking, he finally sends:
i guess. send what you have.
he leans back in his chair, the leather creaking under his weight. his room is a cave of glowing screens and scattered energy drink cans, the hum of his overclocked pc the only sound besides his own shallow breathing. he shouldn’t care. you’re just another art student, another distraction. but his pulse betrays him, thudding a little too hard in his throat.
flashback.exe
he hated group projects. despised them. a bunch of useless art students in overpriced streetwear, trying to make films with no understanding of pacing or continuity.
they’d fumble with premiere pro like it was rocket science, leaving him to clean up their shaky cuts and mismatched audio tracks. he always ended up doing 90% of the work, and he preferred it that way. control was his god, and he worshipped it.
but you were different.
not better. just... a different kind of stupid.
you showed up late to the editing suite, glitter pens spilling out of your bag, heart stickers plastered on your water bottle like a middle schooler’s diary. you called the lav mic a “weird nipple thing” and giggled when he glared at you. once, you spilled your lip gloss on the soundboard, leaving a sticky pink smear he had to scrub off with isopropyl alcohol. another time, you asked if uploading to drive made your data heavier, and he almost threw you out.
but.
you let him do whatever he wanted.
you didn’t hover or micromanage. you just sat there, cross-legged on a swivel chair, watching him cut scenes like it was magic. you leaned over his shoulder, close enough that he could feel the warmth of your breath, your wide eyes reflecting the glow of the timeline.
“whoa... you made it feel like a real movie,” you whispered, like he’d just parted the red sea.
you smelled like something artificial. strawberries, maybe, or some overpriced body mist from a mall kiosk. your hair was always tied with a ribbon—pink, blue, sometimes yellow, always obnoxiously bright.
he didn’t care.
he told himself he didn’t.
but he remembered. every fucking detail.
the zip file lands in his downloads with an obnoxious ka-chunk, snapping him out of the memory. he doesn’t rush. just opens it like it’s any other favor, like his heart isn’t clawing at his ribcage. the folder name stares back at him: “pls help <3”
typical.
he clicks it open, expecting shaky iphone clips of cafes and shopping hauls. maybe some cringe tiktok dance you think is cute. he’s ready to hate it, to scoff at your lack of framing or shitty lighting.
but then—
you appear on screen.
not just appear. you perform.
you’re biting your lip, laughing into the lens like it’s your lover. wearing something stupidly short—a skirt that barely qualifies as fabric, hugging your thighs like it’s painted on. you spin around in front of your mirror, the camera catching every angle, every curve, like you’re being filmed for someone else. someone who’d appreciate it.
you pose. cock your head. giggle. the sound is loud, breathy, smiling when you speak. “do you think this is too short?” you ask, tugging the hem of your skirt, your fingers lingering just a second too long.
he blinks.
backs the video up three seconds.
watches again.
your laugh echoes through his headphones, a little distorted, a little too close. he pretends he’s checking the audio, tells himself it’s for sync, that he’s just doing his job. but his eyes are glued to the screen, to the way your skirt rides up as you twirl, to the flash of skin that makes his breath catch.
he watches again.
his mouth is dry, his tongue heavy against his teeth. your skirt flips up higher this time, and you gasp—like you’re surprised, like you didn’t mean to show that much. but you don’t stop filming. don’t cover up. just... laugh, a sound that curls around his spine and sinks into his gut.
he doesn’t even realize his hand is moving until it’s there, slipping under the waistband of his sweatpants. his fingers brush against himself, and he hisses, the contact sharp and sudden. he’s already half-hard, his body betraying him before his brain can catch up. the room feels too warm, the hum of his pc too loud, but he doesn’t care. he can’t care.
he rewinds the clip again, pauses on the frame where you’re mid-spin, your skirt flared just enough to show the curve of your ass. his hand wraps around his cock, slow at first, tentative, like he’s testing how far he’ll let himself go. the texture of his own skin is rough, familiar, but it’s not enough. not when it’s you on the screen, laughing like you know he’s watching, like you’re daring him to lose control.
he strokes himself, a tight, deliberate rhythm, his thumb brushing over the tip where he’s already leaking. the sensation jolts him, makes his hips twitch in the chair.
he imagines it’s your hand, your fingers—small, soft, probably clumsy, but eager. he pictures you kneeling between his legs, looking up at him with those wide eyes, your lips parted like they are in the video, glossy and pink and begging to be kissed. or more.
the video plays on. you’re bending over now, adjusting your hair in the mirror, your skirt riding up to expose the thin strip of your underwear. he groans, low and guttural, his hand moving faster.
the sound of your voice—teasing, playful—fills his headphones, and he closes his eyes for a moment, letting it wash over him. “do you think this is too short?” you say again, and he wants to answer, wants to growl that it’s perfect, that you’re perfect, that he’d rip it off you if he could.
his grip tightens, his strokes growing erratic. he’s not gentle with himself—never is. it’s all pressure and friction, chasing the edge as fast as he can.
his free hand fumbles with the mouse, scrubbing the timeline back to the moment you gasp, to the split-second flash of your thighs. he loops it, the clip stuttering in time with his breathing, with the slick sound of his hand working himself over. his cock throbs, hot and heavy, and he imagines it’s you—your warmth, your wetness, the way you’d probably whimper if he touched you like this.
he’s close. too close.
his vision blurs at the edges, his pulse hammering in his ears. he shouldn’t be doing this, shouldn’t be jerking off to your stupid video like some desperate creep, but the shame only makes it worse, makes it sharper.
he pictures you catching him, walking in right now, seeing him with his pants down and his hand on his dick. would you laugh? would you blush? would you get on your knees and—
he comes with a choked gasp, his hips bucking up into his hand. it’s messy, spilling over his fingers, onto the hem of his shirt. his chest heaves, his head tilting back against the chair as the aftershocks ripple through him. your laugh loops in his headphones, oblivious to the wreck he’s become.
it’s filthy. it’s desperate.
ten minutes later, he’s cleaned himself up, his hands steady again as he trims the file like a good little editor. he cuts out the shaky parts, stabilizes the footage, adjusts the audio so your voice doesn’t clip. it’s clinical now, professional, like he didn’t just fall apart to the sight of you. he names it something sterile: “vlog_cut_1.mov.”
he exports it twice. once normally, for you. once... not. the second version is raw, unedited, every twirl and giggle preserved in crisp 4k. it gets copied to a different folder, buried in a directory labeled “shader_study_2022.” he tells himself it’s in case you need a re-edit. a backup. that’s all.
when you text back:
thank u!! lol i owe uuu :3
he stares at the message, his thumb hovering over the keyboard. his heart’s still racing, a faint tremor in his fingers.
he types “anytime :)” and erases it. sends:
np.
what he doesn’t say: he rewatched the part where you bend over six times. he had his dick in his hand by the second loop. he renamed the close-up to “test_render_asscloseup.mov” and hid it behind three layers of subfolders.
he doesn’t even like tiktok girls.
he’s into 2d, girls with big swords and bigger tits, drawn in sharp lines and impossible proportions. he once bought a dakimakura because the shipping came with a free pin, and it’s still shoved in his closet, one corner stained from a late-night mistake. real girls are messy, unpredictable, too much work. but now?
he’s thinking about the way your laugh dipped when you turned around, the way it caught in your throat like you were nervous. the way you looked into the lens like you knew someone was watching.
someone like him.
next day, you walk in like a fucking weapon.
pink fuzzy shrug, low-rise jeans that sit dangerously low on your hips, a sliver of stomach peeking out like it’s 2004. your hair’s up in a ribbon—pink, of course, swaying as you move. you’re all glitter and confidence, a walking distraction in a lecture hall full of tired students and flickering projectors.
he scoffs under his breath. “tacky.”
but his heart’s pounding, a traitor in his chest. his fingers twitch against the edge of his laptop, betraying the calm he’s trying to project. you slide into the seat two rows ahead and twist around, grinning like a cat, like you know something he doesn’t.
your eyes catch his for a split second, bright and teasing, and he forces himself to look away.
he opens his laptop, types random garbage into a terminal window—some half-baked python script he doesn’t even care about. he runs a fake compile just to feel busy, to drown out the way his blood is rushing too fast.
you lean over to whisper to the girl next to you, your laugh spilling out, loud and careless. your hair tosses, and he swears he catches the scent of your perfume drifting past in invisible waves. saccharine, overwhelming, like strawberries dipped in sugar syrup.
his brain short-circuits. he snaps his headphones on, the cord tangling in his haste. not to listen to music. not to block you out.
to replay your giggle.
he’d isolated the audio last night, cleaned it up with a high-pass filter, boosted the mids to make it crystal clear. exported it as a high-quality .wav, tucked it into a folder labeled “audio_ref.” he tells himself it’s for study, just good reference for future projects. but he loops it now, the sound of your laugh layered over faint lo-fi static he added for texture. it’s you, distilled into a three-second clip, filling his skull.
he closes his eyes and pretends you’re saying his name. satoru, you giggle, breathy and soft, like you’re leaning over his shoulder again, watching him work. satoru, you made it feel so real.
the lecture drones on, but he’s not listening. he’s lost in the rhythm of your voice, the way it dips and rises, the way it makes his skin feel too tight. he shifts in his seat, adjusts his hoodie, tries to ignore the heat pooling in his gut. he’s not supposed to want this. not supposed to want you.
but he does.
the thing about addiction is that it never announces itself.
no dramatic thunderclap. no internal monologue screaming, ah yes, now i am a pervert. it’s quiet. insidious. it sinks in like static, crackling at the edges of satoru’s brain until he’s not sure where his old self ends and this new, wretched version begins.
it’s not like he’s not already a pervert who gets off from pixels. this simply wasn’t his brand of perversion.
that night, he stayed up longer than he should’ve. stared at code for so long his ide crashed, the screen flickering to black as if it knew he was wasting his time. not that he got anything done.
he just kept switching tabs—your final cut in vlc, some useless bash script in vscode he pretended to care about, then back to your video, the timeline frozen on that twirl, that gasp. his fingers shook when he closed the laptop, but sleep never came.
and now it’s the next day. mid-afternoon. the sun is doing that thing where it turns his apartment into a blinding box of heat and regret. his ac hums like an old man, wheezing against the sticky air. he’s sprawled in his chair, one leg slung over the armrest, staring at the ceiling fan like it might tell him how to stop.
ping.
another discord notification. he doesn’t even flinch this time. your username glows, and the filename attached makes his stomach do a weird little roll: “try-on2_raw.mov”. his eyes linger on the heart emoji you’ve tacked onto the message, like it’s a personal invitation.
hiii! ty for the last edit, ur a lifesaver <3 can u check and trim this one too? i’m trying smth new but idk if it works… lmk what u think pls!!
he clicks download. no hesitation. doesn’t even pretend to care anymore.
the file loads into his editing software like second nature, the premiere pro interface blooming across his screen. muscle memory. routine.
he’s done this a hundred times—except never like this, never with his pulse hammering in his throat and his mouth already dry.
the video starts the same way as the last—handheld, messy lighting, your voice trailing in from offscreen as you fiddle with the camera angle. no mic, of course not. just raw cam audio, unpolished, real, every breath and rustle amplified. he leans closer, like proximity to the screen will make it less dangerous.
“okay—wait, hold on,” you mutter, slightly out of breath. there’s a plastic rustle, fabric scraping skin, the light jingle of a zipper. he catches the sound of your nails tapping the digicam accidentally, a faint clack-clack that makes him picture your fingers, probably painted some ridiculous color, fumbling in that endearing way you do.
“ugh… come on…” your voice drops, a frustrated huff, low and throaty. “mm—sorry! this one’s hard to pull up.”
then—zipper slides. metal on fabric, slow and deliberate, like it’s teasing him on purpose. you let out a sigh, long, slow, just a little too satisfied, like you’re savoring the release of pressure. the sound coils in his gut, tight and hot.
he freezes.
his mouse stays hovering over the playhead, the cursor trembling slightly. blood is already rushing south, his sweatpants tightening in a way he can’t ignore. his breath catches, shallow and sharp, and the worst part?
you giggle.
“probably got the wrong size,” you say, tugging the dress up higher. the hem catches on your thighs, rising indecently, the fabric clinging to your skin like it’s reluctant to let go. “don’t tell anyone i didn’t try it on in-store first.”
he swallows nothing. jaw tight. the room suddenly feels suffocating, the ac’s hum drowned out by the thud of his own pulse. your lip catches between your teeth, a flash of white against pink gloss, and the camera catches that too, lingers on it like it knows what it’s doing.
you glance at the lens, eyes half-lidded, like you’re waiting for approval, like you’re asking him directly—do you like this?
satoru’s fingers twitch.
one hand stays on the mouse, scrubbing the timeline back three seconds to hear that sigh again. the other hand moves before he can stop it, slipping under his waistband, brushing against the heat of his skin. he’s already hard, achingly so, the kind of hard that makes his head swim.
he wraps his fingers around himself, slow at first, testing, like he’s not sure he’s really doing this again. but the sound of your voice—breathy, teasing—loops in his headphones, and he’s gone.
he strokes himself, deliberate and tight, his grip almost punishing. the video plays on, and you’re stepping into frame now, the dress half-zipped, hugging your curves in a way that makes his throat burn. your thighs shift as you adjust the hem, and he imagines them under his hands, soft and warm, parting just for him.
his thumb swipes over the tip of his cock, slick with precum, and he groans, low and broken, the sound swallowed by the hum of his pc. he pictures your fingers instead, clumsy but eager, your nails grazing his skin as you try to keep up with his rhythm.
he’d guide you, show you how he likes it—fast, rough, no mercy.
you sigh again, and he speeds up, his hand moving in time with the rise and fall of your voice. “this one’s kinda tight,” you murmur, tugging at the neckline, and the fabric stretches, exposing the swell of your chest.
he wants to rip it off, wants to hear you gasp for real, not for the camera but for him. his strokes grow erratic, desperate, the slick sound of his hand filling the room, obscene and unstoppable.
he scrubs the timeline back again, pauses on the frame where your dress slips, where your underwear peeks out—a thin, lacy thing that makes his vision blur. he imagines pulling it aside, imagines the heat of you, the way you’d whimper if he pressed himself inside.
he’s close, too close, his hips twitching up into his hand. the video loops your giggle, that satisfied sigh, and he’s drowning in it, in you.
he pictures you catching him like this, walking into his apartment right now, seeing him with his pants down and his cock in his hand, flushed and leaking. would you laugh? would you blush? would you drop to your knees and let him finish on your lips, glossy and perfect and—
he comes with a muted groan, his head tipping back, eyes screwed shut as his release spills over his fingers, hot and messy. his breath shakes, a ragged exhale that leaves him hollow. the aftershocks pulse through him, and he slumps in his chair, the video still playing, your voice oblivious to the wreckage you’ve caused.
he pauses the frame. your mouth is mid-word, forming the shape of “oops,” lips parted just enough to make his chest ache. he wipes his hand on a paper towel from his desk, crumpled and stained from earlier sins. doesn’t look at himself. doesn’t think.
exports the file without touching a thing. names it “final_edit.mov.” then saves another copy, the raw footage, every sigh and rustle preserved. he names it “jesusfuckingchrist.mp4” and buries it in a folder labeled “misc_ref.”
he tries to normalize it.
“it’s just grading,” he mutters the next time he opens the project, the lie sour on his tongue. “just adjusting white balance.” but the playback bar hasn’t moved from your thighs. he doesn’t touch the colors. not really.
he zooms in under the excuse of checking “grain smoothing,” but it’s just your lip, caught between your teeth, your breath clipped at the edges like you’re holding back.
he tells himself he’s just learning.
every artist has their muse, right? except now he edits to your audio. he used to play podcasts, background noise to keep his brain from spiraling.
now? your breathing is layered into the timeline, a track he’s labeled “vox_ref.” he loops your laugh in reverse, lets it pan from left to right like it’s some surround sound experience.
“this is practice,” he whispers, dragging eq curves around nonsense, boosting the highs until your voice is sharp and intimate. “i’m experimenting with filters.”
right. filters. filters until your voice sounds like it’s right by his ear, like you’re whispering in bed, your breath warm against his skin. he plays a clip of you saying “do you like this one?” over and over, the words detached from context.
he doesn’t even care what you’re referring to anymore. he’s got that part memorized, the way your voice dips, soft and unsure, like you’re asking him to love you.
the next class is worse.
you walk past him in that fuzzy pink shrug thing, one sleeve slipping off your shoulder, and it’s like a bomb goes off in his chest. the fabric clings to you, soft and teasing, and he wants to grab it, pull it down, see how much skin you’ll let him have.
you lean down to plug your charger in, your jeans riding low—too low, the kind of low that makes him wonder how they’re even allowed on campus. he catches a glimpse of your underwear, a flash of lace, and his brain whites out.
he glares at his laptop, scoffs under his breath. “that outfit’s… desperate.” the word feels like a blade, sharp and mean, but it’s all he’s got to keep you at a distance.
your head tilts, innocent, eyes wide like you’re genuinely curious. “you think so?” you say it like you mean it, like you don’t already know the answer, like you haven’t watched your own footage and seen what he’s seen.
he shrugs, keeps scowling, doesn’t look at you. his fingers grip the edge of his laptop too hard, knuckles white. behind the screen, he’s got a paused frame of you licking lip gloss off your thumb, minimized in the corner. it’s been open since he got here.
his file structure is disintegrating. he used to name things with logic—timestamps, project codes, version numbers. now his desktop looks like a manifesto, a digital shrine to his unraveling. “vlog_tryon_final.mov.” “edit_3alt.mp4.” “fuckmeagain_laughcut.mov.” there’s a folder called “NOT work (unless)” that he doesn’t even open anymore, too afraid of what he’ll find.
he tries to draw a line, but it’s blurry. always blurry. he doesn’t know where the edit ends and obsession begins. when he dreams, he dreams about zippers—except they’re not zipzers. they’re your legs, parting slow and deliberate, your breath hitching as he pulls you closer.
a new text lights up his screen:
hey! idk if the last one looks good… should i redo it? it felt kinda awkward lol sorry T_T
you sound insecure, unsure, your words dripping with that self-conscious charm that makes his chest hurt. he stares at the message, his thumb hovering over the keyboard, his mind spiraling.
you don’t know, do you? you don’t know what you’re doing to him, how your voice alone is enough to make him hard again.
he types:
looks clean. don’t worry about it.
satoru watches the word clean sit there like a fucking lie. his dick twitches, traitor that it is.
he hates himself.
but he opens the raw file again. scrubs through, frame by frame, until he finds that timestamp—where you moan, soft and accidental, like you didn’t mean to let it slip. he watches it, his headphones sealing him in with the sound of you. he exports that single second, names it “moan_finalgodhelpme.mp4,” and tucks it away like a secret he’ll never confess.
the timeline sits open, your frozen frame staring back at him. he doesn’t close it. doesn’t want to.
it starts with static in his skull.
not the loud, electric kind that chokes you up or begs to be noticed. it’s quiet. a whir, like an old fan that never shuts off, humming behind his thoughts. when satoru drags his mouse across the screen and sees your name still on the folder, it buzzes—faint, familiar, a sickness with your scent.
he changes the name from “NOT work (unless)” to “ARCHIVE_21,” moves it to a different directory, pretends it’s work, or dead, or both. but the static doesn’t stop. it clings, sticky and warm, like your laugh looping in his headphones.
it doesn’t help.
not when he dreams in highlighter gloss and those half-bitten whines you make when stretching, your body arching just so. not when he wakes up rutting into damp sheets, mouthing your name like a damn prayer, his hips jerking against nothing. the shame burns, but it’s not enough to make him stop.
satoru’s trying.
really.
he takes up freelance gigs, edits wedding footage for some guy he hasn’t spoken to since second year. overlays cheesy filters, mutes the groom’s ugly laugh, syncs the vows to some overused acoustic track. it’s clean. respectable. sterile enough to make him itch, like he’s wearing someone else’s skin. but the folder’s still there, buried in his drive like it knows he’ll come back.
2:03 a.m.
his inbox pings, a sharp sound that cuts through the drone of his pc fans. your name lights up the screen, and his chest tightens before he even reads the message.
hiii satoru!! sorry for the late send, been sooo busy <3 can u take a look at this haul vid? i tried smth spicy but idk if it’s too much… lmk what u think pretty pls!!
march haul (raw).mp4
he knows he shouldn’t. there’s no logical reason, no business context, just the weight of your words—spicy, pretty pls—sinking into his gut. but his hands move on their own, clicking download, the progress bar filling like a fuse burning down.
click.
of course he does.
the video starts soft, your bedroom light diffused to a golden haze, casting shadows that dance across rumpled sheets. it looks like you’ve been tossing in them all day, the fabric creased and inviting.
you’re in lace—barely. something soft pink and flimsy, a slip of fabric that clings to your curves like it’s begging to be torn off.
your thigh’s out, one leg bent just enough to draw his eye, and the camera’s angled low, too low, like you meant to frame it this way.
“god, i hope this one fits…” your voice is breathy, a little strained, like you’re fighting the fabric. you adjust a strap, your fingers lingering on the lace, and your lip catches between your teeth, glossy and pink, a casual gesture that’s anything but. his breath stutters, a sharp inhale that burns his throat.
“oops, sorry—too much cleavage?” you laugh, not to yourself but at him.
he knows it.
his cock knows it, twitching against the seam of his sweatpants. the screen shakes as you set the camera on something unsteady—a stack of books, maybe—and it rocks just as you turn around, hips swaying, your ass hugged by that tiny thong, the lace cutting into your skin like a claim. you glance back over your shoulder, smirk poised like a dagger, eyes glinting in the soft light.
“i bet you’d pause right here, wouldn’t you?”
he does.
the video cuts mid-breath, and he doesn’t hear the silence. he’s frozen, hand halfway down, brain wiped clean. the frame lingers on your ass, the curve of it framed by lace, and his mouth is dry, his pulse hammering so loud it drowns out the static.
ping.
march haul (real).mp4
oops. wrong send lol. this is the real one!
his screen is still painted with the freeze-frame of your ass. his dick’s straining so hard it aches, a dull throb that makes him shift in his chair. he doesn’t respond, doesn’t move for a full minute, just stares at the message, the word oops taunting him. then—
he saves both files. drags them into “ARCHIVE_21” with a trembling cursor, his fingers clumsy on the trackpad. he opens the raw one again, slower this time, one hand on his lap, the other fisting his sheets until the fabric creaks.
you’re back on screen, adjusting the strap again, your laugh curling through his headphones like smoke. his hand slips under his waistband, and he’s already leaking, the tip slick and sensitive as he grips himself.
he strokes slow, deliberate, savoring the friction, but his mind’s elsewhere—on the hentai he’s spent years jerking off to, the doujins with dog-eared pages and cum-stained corners.
he pictures you like those girls, bent over and begging, your lace thong pushed to the side as he fucks you from behind, your moans louder, needier, than anything you’ve let slip on camera.
he imagines pinning you to those rumpled sheets, your thighs trembling under his hands, your ass bouncing with every thrust. no teasing giggles, no coy glances—just you, fucked out and whimpering, his name on your lips as he buries himself deep, so deep you can’t think.
his hand speeds up, the slick sound obscene in the quiet of his room. he scrubs the timeline back, pauses on the moment you turn, your smirk sharp and knowing.
he wants to wipe it off, wants to fuck you until you’re too wrecked to smile, until you’re clawing at the sheets and sobbing his name. he imagines your cunt, tight and wet, gripping him as he pounds into you, the lace of your thong rubbing raw against his skin.
it’s not enough to watch you anymore, not enough to stroke himself to your voice—he wants to ruin you, wants to feel you break under him, wants to make you his in a way those 2d girls never could.
he cums with a low, breathy whisper of your name, his hips jerking up into his hand. it’s intense, almost painful, spilling over his fingers and onto the hem of his shirt.
his chest heaves, his vision blurring as he slumps back, the video still playing, your laugh oblivious to the mess he’s become. he opens it again, doesn’t touch himself this time—just watches, memorizes, eyes glassy and mouth parted.
at one point, he swears he moans with you, a soft sound that slips out unbidden, his body betraying him even when he’s spent. when he edits the “real��� file, he’s a machine. no stutters, no slips, just sharp keystrokes and surgical cuts, trimming shaky frames and boosting your voice until it’s crisp.
the guilt claws at him, a dull ache in his chest, but it only makes the next orgasm worse—and better. he exports it, names it “haul_march_final.mov,” and saves the raw file to a new subfolder: “stills_ref.” he doesn’t name the second copy. doesn’t need to. it’s just for him.
he plays it cool in class. “wow. another fit straight outta your grandma’s closet,” he scoffs as you pass, voice dripping with mockery, lips curling into something lazy and mean.
but his gaze flickers—just once, low and quick, like he’s checking for danger. and there it is. a flash of soft pink lace against the curve of your thigh as you shift your bag higher up your shoulder. just a sliver. deliberate.
he knows that lace. knows it from the raw footage, from the way it hugged your skin under golden light. his smirk falters for half a second, a crack in his armor.
you turn your head, slow as syrup, and smile at him over your shoulder. it’s airy, innocent, ditzy enough to play dumb, poisonous enough to feel like a threat. “mm? that bad, huh?” your voice is light, but your eyes linger a moment too long, sharp and knowing, like you’re peeling him open.
you take your seat two rows away, crossing one leg over the other with careful grace. your skirt rides up, just enough to show the edge of that lace again, and your fingers toy absentmindedly with the hem, brushing the fabric like it’s a game.
he doesn’t blink.
he knows what’s under that skirt, knows the way that lace bites into your skin when you move just like that. he’s seen it in soft lighting, tangled with shadows and sighs. he knows, and you know, and neither of you say a word.
he can’t breathe.
his hand trembles as he grips his pen, scrawling nonsense on the corner of his notes—random numbers, jagged lines, anything to keep his fingers busy.
someone’s asking a question about identity and performance, something about how we present ourselves versus how we wish to be perceived, and satoru’s already halfway to standing.
“sorry. washroom.” his voice cracks halfway through the lie, too sharp, too rushed.
satoru stumbles into the men’s room like he’s escaping a crime scene, the door clicking shut behind him. palm flat against cold tile, forehead pressed to the inside of his wrist, he tries to breathe, tries to think of anything else—code, deadlines, the wedding edit he’s behind on.
but it’s you.
always you. your smile, your laugh, the lace peeking out like a taunt.
he’s already hard, already leaking, the front of his jeans tight and unforgiving. he fumbles with the button, shoves them down just enough, and grips himself, his hand shaking as he strokes.
he closes his eyes and sees you—not the you in class, not the you playing dumb, but the you from his fantasies, the you he’s built from hentai panels and late-night desperation. he imagines you on your knees, lace thong pulled down, your cunt glistening as he fucks you against the bathroom sink.
no giggles, no teasing—just raw, desperate need, your moans echoing off the tiles as he slams into you, his hands bruising your hips, your body arching to take him deeper.
he wants you messy, wants you marked, wants to fill you until you’re dripping, until you’re his in a way that’s permanent.
he strokes faster, his breath hitching, his teeth sinking into his knuckles to muffle the groan clawing up his throat. he cums hard, too fast, his knees buckling as it spills over his hand, hot and shameful. he shakes, gasping, his forehead slick against the tile, and thinks of lace. thinks of lip gloss. thinks of your voice saying “oops” like it’s a sin.
it doesn’t take long for his desktop to become an altar.
the background’s still you, a freeze-frame from the first video, your lip gloss shimmering and fingers caught mid-twist in your hair. he tells himself it’s temporary, just a visual reference.
it’s been three weeks.
folders on folders: “hauls > favs > zoom_ins > stills > pantyshots.” “audio_samples > moan_loop > breath_only.wav.” “color tests > gloss_ref > lips.png.”
some nights, he replays a single frame just to watch your mouth form the word “fuck,” slows it down, isolates the syllables, pretends you’re saying his name instead.
the worst part?
you’re still pretending nothing’s changed. still calling them “favors,” still sending content like it’s work, like it’s nothing.
but your outfits are shorter, your giggles stick to the air longer, your eyes linger like you’re testing something. and when you purr, “you’re sooo good at this, satoru,” with that saccharine lilt, your voice curling around his name like a caress, he bites the inside of his cheek just to keep quiet. fists the sheets at night and prays.
he moans your name in the dark, face hot with shame, and hates how much he wants you to hear it.
satoru’s become sleep-deprived, dark smudges nesting beneath his eyes like fingerprints left behind by guilt or obsession or both. he wears his glasses more lately, less out of need and more as a buffer between him and the world—between him and you.
the lenses catch the glow of his new triple-monitor setup, a sleek beast he told himself was for coding, for editing, for multitasking. not for keeping your videos looping on the side monitor while he pretends to work on the main one. not for that at all.
your folder’s pinned in quick access, a permanent fixture in his file explorer. he keeps it open in the background at all times, a digital pulse that hums alongside his pc fans. second nature now, like breathing or wanting. not unlike a shrine.
in class, he pretends to take notes, his stylus scratching nonsense on his tablet. he’s not. he’s watching a gif on his phone, hidden under the desk—a loop of your tongue dragging slow across lip gloss, eyes soft with focus like you’re painting yourself pretty just for him. the gif’s only three seconds, but he’s memorized every frame, every flicker of your lashes. his thumb swipes to replay it, again, again, until his vision blurs.
ctrl+shift+eject brain.exe.
three days pass, and you haven’t messaged. he checks your chat thread more than he breathes—opens, closes, re-opens, scrolling through your old texts like they’ll reveal something new. every flicker of hope is a false start, a phantom ping that makes his chest lurch. he’s pathetic, he knows it, but knowing doesn’t stop the itch.
then:
ping.
april haul (suits).mov
hii satoru!! new haul vid for u to check <3 tried some swimsuits this time, hope it’s not too boring to trim hehe. lmk what u think!!”
he nearly drops his phone, his thumb smudging the screen as he fumbles to download. his new setup hums to life, the main monitor flashing with code he hasn’t touched in hours, the side monitor already open to your folder.
he drags the file into premiere, the timeline blooming across the screen, but his eyes are on the raw video, already playing on the right monitor, your voice spilling through his headphones like honey.
the video’s different this time. the camera’s lower, like it’s been left on a desk or shelf, pointing slightly upward to frame you from your knees to just above your head. your bed makes a cozy blur in the background, sheets tangled like an invitation.
you’re in a bikini top that isn’t trying very hard to stay on, thin strings knotted loosely at your neck and back, the fabric barely containing you. “mmm. does this scream summer, or slut?” you giggle, feigned innocence like frosting over heat, your voice curling around the words like you know exactly what they’ll do to him.
you play with the strings at your chest, tugging, adjusting, your fingers brushing the swell of your breasts. then, softer, breathier, to the lens: “baby, help me pick…”
baby.
it breaks him all over again, a crack that runs straight through his chest. his cock twitches, already hard, straining against his boxers.
everything after that gets softer, lazier, dangerous in how intimate it feels. there’s no performative energy now—just casual, candid seduction, your movements slow, like you’re not hurrying for anyone. like you know exactly who’s watching and how long he’ll linger.
when you shrug a dress off your shoulders, you sigh, the sound catching in your throat. when you twist to adjust a strap, you hum, low and absentminded. and when you struggle with a clasp at your back, your fingers fumbling, you moan—soft, unintentional, a sound that slips out like it surprised even you.
satoru’s thumb slams the spacebar, pausing the video, rewinding three seconds to hear it again. he watches the way your lips part, the way your brows twitch, the way your body shifts like you’re chasing the sensation.
he’s already leaking, his boxers damp as he shoves them down, his hand wrapping around himself. the side monitor loops the raw footage, your moan playing over and over, while the main monitor holds the paused frame of your parted lips. he strokes slow at first, his grip tight, his thumb swiping over the tip where he’s slick and sensitive.
his mind slips to the doujins he’s hoarded, the hentai he’s spent years chasing—the girls with flushed cheeks and desperate eyes, fucked raw and begging for more. but now it’s you, not some inked fantasy, and it’s so much filthier.
he imagines you sprawled across your bed, that bikini top ripped off, your thighs spread wide as he fucks you deep, relentless, your cunt clenching around him as you sob his name. no teasing, no giggles—just you, wrecked and dripping, your nails clawing his back as he takes you again and again, each thrust harder, messier, until you’re nothing but his.
his hand speeds up, the slick sound loud in his room, mixing with your looped moan. he wants you pinned beneath him, wants to feel you squirm, wants to fuck you until the bed creaks and your voice breaks, until you’re begging like those hentai girls, your glossed lips trembling as you say his name—satoru, please, more.
he imagines filling you, his cum leaking down your thighs, your body marked by him in ways he can’t unsee. it’s not enough to watch, not enough to stroke—he wants to own you, wants to make you his in every way those 2d fantasies taught him to crave.
he cums hard, forehead pressed to his desk, a low groan tearing from his throat as it spills over his hand, his keyboard, the edge of his new setup. his breath is ragged, like he’s run a marathon, his glasses fogging slightly as he gasps.
the side monitor still plays, your voice oblivious, your moan looping like a hymn. he doesn’t stop the video, just slumps back, spent and shaking, and watches again, his hand twitching like it’s not done.
it doesn’t take long for his room to reek of sweat and sin.
he edits shirtless now, sometimes in boxers, always hard, always leaking. every file’s renamed with trembling hands: “wifey_take7.mov.” “wifey_raw.mp4.”
he syncs your sighs to his lo-fi playlist, turns it into a lullaby, falls asleep to the sound of your breath. sometimes he slows your voice just to hear “baby” dragged out into velvet, makes gifs of your hands skimming your hips, kisses the screen when he’s drunk enough to forget shame.
you, on the other hand, don’t break character.
in class, you chew your pen and lean forward, the arch of your spine exact, your cleavage subtle—barely a tease, just enough to make his throat tighten. he looks away with a clenched jaw, adjusts himself under the desk, twice, his jeans unforgiving.
you whisper to a friend and giggle, and he lipreads, thinks he sees the words “can’t wait,” but maybe he’s hallucinating, maybe not. it doesn’t matter.
he starts responding to the clips aloud.
“fuck yes, that one.” “spin again, baby.” sometimes he mumbles your name like a prayer, sometimes he chokes it into his pillow. every orgasm has your name carved into it, a brand he can’t erase.
one night, he opens a file to edit, drags it into premiere, but he doesn’t touch it. just watches, headphones in, barely breathing. not a content creator now, not a student, not even a man—just a creature of need, and you his ritual, his muse, his goddess.
the screen shows you adjusting the straps of a silky babydoll, the lighting warm, your thighs bare, half-tucked under you as you sit prettily at the edge of your bed.
“okay, so this one’s… like, totally giving ‘come to bed’ energy, right?” you giggle, voice light, teeth sinking into your glossed lip as you bounce once, soft and natural, the fabric barely covering your chest.
satoru groans low in his throat, not even trying to hide it. “it’s giving bend over,” he mutters, lips twitching, his side monitor looping the raw footage, his main screen frozen on your smile. “fuck, look at you…”
you reach behind you, struggle with the clasp, wiggle your shoulders like you’re teasing whoever’s behind the camera. “oof. that’s tight… should i size up?” a breathy laugh follows, your sigh melting into it.
he licks his lips, your audio crystal-clear in his headphones. you’re right there, talking to him. “nah, baby,” he croons, eyes fixed on the curve of your spine as you turn. “tight’s perfect. keeps the goods in place.”
you blow a kiss at the lens. “hope you’re not bored yet,” you say with a wink. “i saved the cutest for last…”
you bend off-frame, your ass peeking just above the edge of the bed, round and inviting in cotton panties with lace trim, and when you rise again, your hands hold something sheer and tiny. “tadaaa,” you whisper, eyes glinting with mischief. “this one’s for my favorite viewer.”
00:05:46—satoru slams the shortcut, timestamp saved. a second later, he screenshots, then again, then again, frame by frame, until he finds the exact one where your lip’s caught between your teeth and your ass is still halfway in the air.
“fucking perfect,” he mutters, breath uneven. he pulls the image up on his main screen, zooms in, sharpens it, runs it through noise reduction. the side monitor loops the raw video, your voice sweet and teasing, while the right monitor plays a gif of your earlier moan, your lips parted in that soft, accidental sound.
his hand’s already moving, shoving his boxers down, his cock springing free, hard and leaking like it’s been waiting for this.
he grips himself, rough and urgent, no pretense of patience. the new setup’s perfect—your video on the side, his code on the main screen like he’s working, but it’s all you, every pixel, every sound.
he strokes in time with your giggle, his eyes flicking between the gif of your moan and the screenshot of your ass, his mind spiraling into the filthiest corners of his hentai-soaked brain.
he imagines you on that bed, face down, ass up, the babydoll hiked to your waist as he fucks you so hard the headboard cracks. he wants you screaming, wants your cunt pulsing around him, wants to pull your hair and make you look at him as he fills you, over and over, until you’re a mess, until you’re his completely.
his strokes are frantic, his breath hitching, his hips bucking into his hand. he pictures you tied to the bed, like that one doujin he read last month, your wrists bound with those same bikini strings, your thighs trembling as he fucks you through one orgasm into the next.
he wants to cum inside you, wants to watch it drip out, wants to push it back in with his fingers and make you lick them clean. it’s not enough to jerk off anymore, not enough to dream—he wants to break you, wants to make you real, wants to fuck you until you’re as addicted to him as he is to you.
he cums with a choked growl, his head tipping back, glasses slipping down his nose as it spills over his hand, his desk, the sticky mess splattering his keyboard.
he’s shaking, gasping, his chest heaving as the side monitor loops your voice, your “baby” purring like a mantra. his wrist’s sticky, his room a haze of sweat and shame, but he doesn’t care. he’s not even really here.
you’re everywhere now—three monitors, three altars, your image burned into his retinas. he’d worship on his knees if you asked.
the next day, another file:
april haul (closeups).mp4
sorry! idk if this one’s helpful but i liked the shots hehe
he doesn’t unzip his pants. doesn’t need to. he’s already throbbing from the inside out, his body reacting to your name alone. he clicks, watches, kneels, and whispers your name like a benediction, the static in his skull louder than ever.
it starts with a ping.
innocuous. a single pixel shift on the main monitor mid-code, just as satoru’s debugging a script for a deadline he already missed. his side monitor hums with your last video, paused on that frame where your lip’s caught between your teeth, and the third monitor’s open to a half-finished render he hasn’t touched in days. he glances lazily at the notification, expecting another reminder from suguru to shower or eat—
but no. it’s you.
hey… do u do filming too?
his fingers freeze. heart jams, a dull thud in his chest. the cursor blinks, waiting, mocking. he doesn’t think. doesn’t breathe. his glasses slip down his nose, and he doesn’t fix them. the words burn into his retinas, and his cock twitches before he can process why.
yeah. totally. what kind of shoot?
he sends it, his thumb trembling over the enter key. no reply. not for five whole minutes. the wait is a crucifixion, each second stretching into eternity. he keeps opening and closing the chat, rereading your words like they might shift into something dirtier, something more.
his triple-monitor setup glows, your frozen frame on the side monitor staring at him, lips parted, eyes glinting. he’s already leaking in his pants, a damp spot spreading against his thigh.
then:
just a casual thing. home setup. come over?
he reads it twice. three times. his breath catches, sharp and shallow, like he’s been punched. come over. your dorm. your space. he’s hard, achingly so, his boxers tight and unforgiving. he doesn’t reply, just slams his laptop shut, grabs his camera bag, and stumbles out the door.
he shows up twenty minutes later, barely remembered to wear deodorant, definitely forgot his dignity. his high-end sony alpha mirrorless—loaded with a lens that costs more than most people’s rent—bounces against his chest as he knocks. his palms are slick, his glasses fogging slightly from the heat of his own nerves.
you open the door with a giggle, wrapped in a pastel pink robe that might as well be air. it clings to the curve of your waist, parts at the thigh, revealing soft skin that makes his throat burn. your hair’s still damp, sticking to your collarbones, and the scent of vanilla lotion hits him like a drug. “thanks for coming! i’m kinda nervous…”
he wants to bark out same, but his jaw locks. he swallows instead, the motion too loud in his ears. “no problem.” his voice is gravel, like he’s choking on his own want. he steps inside, and your dorm swallows him whole—warm, cutesy, a pastel fever dream of plush throw pillows, fairy lights, and a pink velvet couch that looks too soft, too inviting.
he’s already imagining you bent over it, your robe hiked up, your moans echoing off the walls. it smells like you sprayed your strawberry perfume over every surface, dizzying, suffocating. his glasses fog again.
he sets up the tripod with shaking hands, the sony’s weight grounding him just enough to keep from falling apart. you bounce around the living room, humming, fluffing pillows on the couch, fixing your gloss in a heart-shaped mirror propped against a shelf.
“does this lighting make me look washed out?” you ask, stepping back, tilting your head. then you bend to adjust a lamp, and your robe parts just enough to reveal the gentle curve of your ass, bare except for a sliver of lace.
he sees. pretends he didn’t. fumbles the lens cap, twice, the plastic clattering to the floor. his face burns, but he keeps his eyes on the camera, adjusting settings he doesn’t need to touch.
you brush past him again and again, your bare arm glancing his, silk whispering across his knuckles when you pass. he smells shampoo in the air, thick and sweet, and it’s you, all you, sinking into his lungs. “you nervous?” you tease, voice light, a giggle curling at the edges.
he scoffs, wiping his palm against his jeans, the denim rough against his slick skin. “pfft. nah. i’ve filmed worse.” a lie, bold and brittle, his voice too tight to sell it.
“worse than me?” you pout, stepping closer, close enough that he can feel the warmth of your breath. “ouch.”
“i didn’t say that.” his voice cracks, a hairline fracture. he’s too aware of you, of the way your robe slips an inch, of the way your eyes glint like you’re playing with him.
you tilt your head, wide-eyed, all fake innocence. “sooo… you have filmed pretty girls before?”
he falters, breath stuttering in his chest. he’s a virgin, hasn’t touched a girl in years, hasn’t wanted to—not when hentai’s been enough, when doujins have been his only lovers. but you’re real, and you’re here, and you’re breaking him.
“no one like you,” he says, unfiltered, raw, the words slipping out before he can stop them.
your lips curl, slow and sweet, a smile that says i know. “hm. figured.”
you disappear into your bedroom for a few minutes, the door clicking shut. he pretends to adjust the white balance, tweaking settings on the sony that are already perfect, but really he’s staring at the door like it owes him salvation.
his cock’s throbbing, a dull ache that won’t quit, and he shifts, trying to ease the pressure. the living room feels too small, the pink couch too soft, the fairy lights too intimate. he’s imagining you sprawled across that couch, your robe gone, your thighs spread, his camera capturing every gasp.
the door opens. you emerge. lingerie set, pale and sheer, a mini skirt that barely qualifies, lip gloss freshly reapplied. you look like a doll, saccharine and sinful, every curve a taunt. “can you help me zip this?” you turn, bare back exposed, the zipper halfway up, your spine a perfect line that begs to be touched.
he steps forward, too close, his exhale brushing your shoulder. his fingers graze your skin—soft, warm, real—and you shiver, a small, deliberate tremor. he pulls the zipper up with trembling hands, the metal catching once, his breathing uneven. the distance between you shatters into nothing, the air thick with static.
“you’re doing this on purpose,” he rasps, low in your ear, his voice rough with want.
“doing what?” you whisper, fake innocence thick as honey, your head tilting just enough to catch his eye.
you look back at him, lashes fluttering, lips parted, glossy and pink. he breaks.
“fuck.”
he grabs you, his hands rough on your hips, your mouths crashing together—teeth, tongue, gasps. your lip gloss smears against his cheek, sweet and sticky, and he groans into the kiss, devouring you.
you moan into his mouth, legs wrapping around his hips as he lifts you onto the counter, the edge biting into your thighs. you’re silk and heat and sin beneath his hands, and he’s forgotten everything else—his camera, his code, his shame. only you exist now.
you feel his hard-on through his jeans, pressed against your thighs, and he’s panting, his breath stuttering against your skin as he kisses down your jaw, your neck, the ridge of your spine. his mouth is everywhere, like he’s starved, like he’s trying to memorize you with his tongue.
his glasses slip down, and he grins against your collarbone. “need to get a better look,” he mutters, a flimsy excuse to lean closer, until the fog of his breath warms your skin. he bites your collarbone, hard, groaning when he leaves a mark. “wanna see that in playback.”
he drops to his knees without hesitation, a virgin’s worship, reverence born from years of hentai and nothing else. his fingers dig into your thighs, spreading them wide, and he groans like he’s just found salvation. he runs his tongue along the inner part first, slow and teasing, so close to the lace of your panties but not touching what you want.
you try to close your legs, but he forces them open, his grip bruising, his mouth finding the wet spot through the fabric. “fuck, you’re soaked,” he growls, voice muffled, his tongue dragging heavy and slow, the lace rough against your clit. “been wet for me this whole time, huh? fuckin’ tease.”
you whimper, hips bucking, and he moans into you, the vibration making you gasp. he licks through the panties, relentless, his glasses slipping halfway down his nose but he doesn’t care.
“you taste better than i dreamed,” he says, his voice hoarse, hentai dialogue spilling out like it’s natural. he sucks at the fabric, tongue pressing harder, and you’re trembling, your hands fisting his hair as you grind against his face. he’s messy, desperate, his moans louder than yours, like he’s the one about to cum. you do, hard, a cry tearing from your throat as you shudder against his mouth, and he doesn’t stop, lapping at the soaked lace like it’s his last meal.
he presses his cheek to your thigh, sticky and glistening, looking up at you with glassy eyes. “first one’s mine,” he says, grinding his hips into the floor, his jeans tight with his own need. you don’t think he even realizes he’s doing it. he spreads you open with his fingers, peeling the panties aside, watching your hole twitch with a hunger that makes his mouth water.
“look at that,” he murmurs, almost to himself, his voice dripping with awe. “fuckin’ perfect.” he slides two fingers in, slow at first, then deeper, curling them just right, like he’s memorized every doujin panel that showed him how. “shit—i’ve seen this in hentai but it’s better. fuck, it’s real.”
his fingers pump, slick and steady, and you’re moaning, head thrown back, the counter digging into your hips. he adds a third, stretching you, his free hand jerking himself through his jeans, matching the pace of his fingers inside you. “so tight, baby. you’re gonna feel so good around my cock.”
he spits on your pussy, a quick, filthy gesture, his eyes locked on yours as it drips down. “they never show that part right in hentai. had to test it myself.” you moan, loud and broken, and he moans louder, his fingers slipping out with a wet squelch. he licks them clean, slow, eyes fluttering shut like he’s savoring you. “fuck—want it all.”
he stands, trembling, his jeans tented painfully. “can i?” his voice is small, almost pleading, a crack in his bravado. you nod, and he fumbles with his belt, shoving his jeans down just enough. he lines himself up, his cock thick and leaking, the tip brushing your entrance. “you’re so warm—holy shit—you’re squeezing me—fuck—”
he slides in, slow at first, gasping as you take him, your cunt tight and slick around him. he’s a virgin, but he knows this, knows the rhythm from years of jerking off to scenes just like this. he freezes, trying not to cum, his glasses fogging as he pants. you clench down, deliberate, and he slaps your thigh, a quick, sharp sting that earns him a whine.
“don’t—fuck, don’t do that yet.”
he pulls out, just to slam back in, harder, the counter creaking under you. his rhythm’s sloppy, desperate, but he finds it, each thrust deeper, rougher. “look at you,” he growls, his voice pure filth, hentai dialogue spilling free. “taking my cock like a good little slut. you love this, don’t you? fuckin’ made for me.” he licks the tears running down your cheek, his tongue hot and greedy. “crying already? baby, i’m not even close to done.”
you moan his name, and he loses it, his thrusts turning frantic, messy, like he’s trying to ruin you. “film it. show me what you see,” you gasp, and he fumbles for his phone, almost dropping it with how hard he’s shaking.
the camera app opens in a blur of fingers, then steadies, the lens catching you spread wide beneath him, thighs trembling, pussy stuffed full of his cock. he holds it there, watching the way you flutter around him, his breath ragged. “watch this later and see how ruined you look, baby,” he pants, voice hoarse, wild.
he leans in, still recording, whispering filth against your ear. “that’s right. take it. cry for me. i want you loud.” his other hand drags the mic closer, the sony’s external recorder capturing every slick thrust, every broken sob, every wet squelch, loud and obscene.
he fucks you harder, the counter shaking, your tits bouncing with each thrust. “gonna fuck you on every piece of furniture in here,” he growls, his voice low, unhinged. “that couch? gonna bend you over it. that table? gonna spread you wide. your bed? gonna fill you till you’re screaming.”
you clench around him, and he groans, his hips stuttering. “fuck, you like that? you want me to wreck you everywhere, don’t you?” you nod, gasping, and he slaps your thigh again, harder, leaving a red mark. “say it, baby. tell me you want it.”
“i want it,” you whimper, voice breaking, and he grins, feral, his thrusts turning punishing. you cum again, a shuddering mess, your cry echoing in the mic as your cunt pulses around him, slick dripping down your thighs. he doesn’t stop, doesn’t slow, his cock throbbing as he fucks you through it.
“gonna fill you up,” he pants, his voice cracking, hentai fantasies spilling out. “gonna cum so deep you’ll feel me for days. you want that, don’t you? want my cum dripping out of you?”
you nod, moaning, and he loses it, slamming into you one last time as he cums, a guttural groan tearing from his throat. it’s hot, messy, spilling inside you, and he keeps thrusting, shallow and desperate, like he’s trying to push it deeper.
satoru doesn’t stop.
in fact, he lifts you, his arms wrapping under your thighs like you’re weightless, his cock still buried inside you, slick and pulsing. your head lolls against his shoulder, your breath hot against his neck, and he groans, low and guttural, as he carries you toward your bedroom.
the air shifts as he crosses the threshold, your perfume hitting him harder here—floral and sugary, the same scent that clings to your pillow, your wrist, your everything. it’s thicker in this room, curling around him like a trap, and he kicks the door shut behind him, the click loud in the quiet.
he pushes you toward the vanity, your back meeting the cool glass of the mirror with a soft thud. he bends you over it, slow and deliberate, his hands guiding your hips until your cheek presses against the surface, your breath fogging the reflection.
“look at you,” he groans, angling his phone to capture the scene—your flushed face, your glossed lips parted, your eyes half-lidded in the mirror as you whine in embarassment.
“pretty little thing, still trying to act innocent.” his voice is rough, edged with hunger, and he shifts his hips, thrusting shallowly, keeping you pinned, reaching for your lip gloss.
you mumble something, a weak protest or plea, but he shuts it up with a swipe of your lip gloss across your mouth, his hand trembling as he paints your lips pink, the applicator slick and messy.
“perfect,” he says, pulling back just enough to admire the shine, the way it catches the light. then he pushes in again, deeper, and you both moan, the sound mingling in the air, caught by the sony’s mic still recording from the tripod in the corner.
he kisses you messily—gloss smearing, lips hungry, teeth clashing as he grinds his hips, slow and torturous, never breaking the rhythm. the camera stays on, the phone propped against a perfume bottle, capturing every gasp, every shudder.
“taste so fuckin’ good,” he mutters against your mouth, his tongue chasing the sticky sweetness. “gonna kiss you till you’re dripping everywhere.”
satoru lays you on the bed next, gentle but urgent, his hands shaking as he props his phone against a stack of books on your nightstand, the camera app open, framing you perfectly—your body sprawled across the pastel sheets, thighs parted, lingerie barely clinging to your skin, the sheer fabric of your top stretched tight over your chest, the mini skirt hiked up to expose the lace of your panties.
he climbs over you, his glasses slipping down his nose, and pushes your legs up, hooking them over his shoulders, the angle forcing you open, vulnerable.
“fuck, you feel like heaven,” he says, voice cracking, almost reverent, as he slides back inside you, slow and deep, the heat of you pulling a groan from his throat. “i’m never gonna stop, baby.”
each thrust is deliberate, his hips rolling to hit that spot that makes you arch, your nails raking down his arms, leaving red trails he’ll stare at later.
he kisses you through it, his mouth sloppy and desperate, swallowing your moans like they’re his lifeline. the bed creaks under you, the fairy lights casting a soft glow over your tear-streaked face, and he’s lost in it, in the way you clench around him, so tight it’s like you’re made for him.
“so fuckin’ perfect,” he pants, his lips brushing your ear, his breath hot and uneven. “taking my cock like you were born for it.”
he tugs at the straps of your lingerie top, pulling it down until your tits spill free, the sheer fabric catching under them, and he groans, his mouth latching onto a nipple, sucking hard until you whimper, your hips bucking against him.
but it doesn’t last—he needs more, needs to see you break in ways he’s only imagined in the dark of his room, his hand on his cock and your videos on loop.
he pulls out, his dick slick and throbbing, and grabs your hips, flipping you with a low grunt. he drags you up by the waist, positioning you on your knees, your ass high, your face pressed into the sheets, the skirt still bunched around your hips. his hand slides up your spine, pushing your chest down, arching you just right, and he yanks the lace panties to the side, not bothering to take them off.
“this is what you get for teasing me all these days,” he growls, his voice unhinged, as he lines himself up and thrusts in, hard and deep, the slap of skin sharp in the quiet room.
you whimper, muffled against the pillow, and he fucks harder, each thrust rocking you forward, the bedframe rattling, your moans spilling free despite the fabric. his phone’s still recording, propped precariously, catching every angle—your arched back, your trembling thighs, the way his cock disappears into you with every brutal snap of his hips.
“look at that pussy,” he says, his free hand gripping your ass, spreading you open for the camera. “so greedy, swallowing me whole. you love this, don’t you?” he tugs your hair, pulling your head back, forcing your cries to echo. “louder, baby. let the whole fuckin’ dorm hear you.”
he slows, just to torment you, his hips grinding deep, making you squirm, your overstimulated body shaking under him. you’re teary, sobs catching in your throat, but he doesn’t care—he wants you loud, wants you broken. he leans down, his chest pressed to your back, and bites your shoulder, hard enough to leave a mark.
“cry for me,” he whispers, his voice rough, his hand slipping around to pinch your nipple, twisting until you gasp. “wanna hear you fall apart.” he pulls out, leaving you empty, and you whine, a desperate, keening sound that makes him smirk.
“patience, princess,” he mocks, slapping your ass lightly, the sting making you clench around nothing.
satoru guides you up, turning you to face him, and pushes you back onto the bed, climbing over you. “wanna see you ride me,” he says, lying back against the headboard, his hands gripping your hips as you straddle him. he tugs the skirt off completely, tossing it aside, leaving you in just the stretched-out lingerie top and soaked panties.
“bounce,” he growls, his eyes locked on where you sink down onto him, slow and deliberate, your cunt stretching around him as you take him inch by inch. “show the camera how you fuck me.”
his phone’s angled to catch it all—your tits bouncing, still half-caught in the sheer fabric, your thighs trembling, the way you gasp every time you drop down, taking him to the hilt.
you move, your hips rolling, your hands braced on his chest, and he’s sweating, his glasses slipping, his breath ragged. he doesn’t let you slow, his hands lifting you, slamming you back down, making you take him deeper. “that’s it,” he says, voice hoarse, his fingers digging into your ass, leaving bruises. “fuck yourself on my cock. show me how bad you need it.”
you’re sobbing now, tears streaming down your cheeks, but you keep going, your moans loud and broken, your body shaking from the overstimulation. he reaches up, ripping the lingerie top off completely, the fabric tearing with a sharp sound, and gropes your tits, squeezing hard, his thumbs brushing your nipples until you shudder.
“these are mine now,” he says, his voice pure filth. “gonna mark ‘em up so you can’t hide.”
he’s close, too close, but he’s not done.
he pushes you off, gentle but firm, and stands, pulling you with him toward the full-length mirror by your closet. he spins you, pressing your chest to the glass, your hands splaying against it, your tear-streaked reflection staring back.
he kicks your legs apart, his cock nudging your entrance, and slides in, slow and deep, his breath hot against your ear. “look at you,” he says, his lips brushing your neck, his hands caging you against the mirror. “look at my cock ruining your pussy.”
he thrusts, slow at first, watching your reflection—your tears, your drool, your gloss-smeared lips, the way your body shakes with every snap of his hips. “you wanted a nerd? this nerd’s gonna fuckin’ break you.”
he fucks you harder, the mirror rattling, your moans bouncing off the walls, loud enough to wake the neighbors. “so fuckin’ pretty,” he pants, one hand slipping to your clit, rubbing messy, relentless circles. “gonna cum all over my cock, aren’t you? gonna make a mess for me?”
you nod, sobbing, your body trembling, and he slaps your ass, the sting sharp, making you clench around him. “say it, baby. tell me you’re mine.”
“i’m yours,” you gasp, voice breaking, tears streaming, and he cums with a raw groan, spilling inside you, hot and thick, his hips stuttering as he rides it out.
he doesn’t pull out, doesn’t stop, his cock still hard, still twitching as he fucks his cum deeper, the slick sound obscene. “not done,” he mutters, his glasses fogged, his voice wrecked. “gonna make you cum again.”
he keeps going, relentless, his thrusts slower but deeper, each one pushing his cum back inside, making you shake. his fingers on your clit are merciless, circling fast, and you’re oversensitive, your body convulsing, your moans turning to desperate cries. “satoru—fuck—too much—” you sob.
he only slaps your thigh, sharp and stinging, and leans in, his lips grazing your ear. “too much? nah, princess, you can take it. wanna feel you squirt for me.”
he angles his hips, hitting that spot that makes your vision blur, and you’re gone, your body locking up as you cum, a gush of wet heat soaking his cock, dripping down your thighs, pooling on the floor. he groans, loud and broken, his hips jerking as he cums again, another hot rush filling you, spilling out around him.
“fuck—look at that mess,” he pants, his hand smearing the slick between your legs, rubbing it into your skin. “all for me.”
but he’s not done. he pulls you back to the bed, laying you on your side, one leg hooked over his arm as he slides back in, his cock still hard, slick with your cum and his. “one more,” he begs, his voice cracking, his glasses crooked. “gimme one more, baby. need to feel you again.”
he thrusts slow, deep, his hand slipping between your legs to tease your oversensitive clit, and you’re crying, tears streaming, your body shaking from the intensity. he bites your neck, leaving marks, and whispers, “love it when you cry for me. so fuckin’ loud, just how i like it.”
he shifts, rolling you onto your stomach, keeping you pinned as he fucks you into the mattress, his hand pressing your face into the sheets. “gonna cum all over you,” he growls, his thrusts turning sloppy, desperate. “gonna fill you up till you’re leaking me for days.”
you cum again, a shuddering, broken mess, your sobs muffled against the pillow, your body convulsing as you squirt again, weaker but still enough to soak the sheets. he cums with you, a third time, his groan hoarse, his hips stuttering as he spills inside you, the mess dripping out, pooling under you.
“fuck—baby—” he gasps, his voice wrecked, his body shaking as he collapses against you, his glasses falling off completely, clattering to the floor.
“mine now,” he whispers, hoarse and ruined, his forehead pressed to your back, his breath hot and uneven. “you’re mine now.”
you nod, too spent to speak, your body limp, your reflection in the mirror a blur of tears and gloss and him, the phone still recording every ragged breath, every whispered “fuck” as he pulls you closer, not letting go.
but then silence swells, heavy and slow, filling the room like a fog. the air’s thick with the aftermath—sweat, cum, and the lingering sweetness of your perfume, still clinging to the sheets, to him.
satoru’s hands tremble where they hold you, one slipping down to fumble with his phone, stopping the recording with a clumsy tap, the other pressing flat against your stomach, grounding him, grounding you. your breaths are too loud, ragged and uneven, syncing in the quiet like a metronome.
he leans away slightly, just enough to grab a towel from the edge of your bed, awkward in the afterglow like he just realized he desecrated a temple. his glasses are gone, lost somewhere in the mess of sheets, and his hair’s a disaster, sticking to his forehead, damp with sweat.
“shit,” he mutters, voice barely above a whisper, too quiet for the boy who was growling filth ten minutes ago. “did i—i mean. that wasn’t too much, right?” there’s a crack in his tone, a flicker of panic, like he’s replaying every thrust, every slap, every sobbed moan he pulled from you.
you don’t answer at first, too dazed, too wrung out, your body still humming from the overstimulation, your thighs sticky and trembling.
your silence makes him spiral.
“fuck, i knew it. i pushed too hard. i got carried away—i was recording—fuck—i didn’t even ask—” his words tumble out, frantic, his hand raking through his hair as he sits up, eyes wide, searching your face for any sign of regret.
you turn to face him, slow and sore, your cheek pillowed against your arm, the motion making your body ache in the best way. your eyes are still wet, lashes clumped with tears, lips kiss-bruised and sticky with half-worn gloss, swollen from his teeth. you stare at him—this boy, this dork, with his mussed-up hair and the panicked look of someone who just lived out a lifelong fantasy and now doesn’t know what to do with it.
“i’m okay,” you say, your voice shredded, raw from screaming his name. “jesus, i’m so okay.”
he exhales, a shaky rush of air, like he’s been holding it in for hours. he collapses back against you, burying his face in your neck, his lips brushing the bite mark he left earlier. “fuck, you scared me,” he mumbles, his voice muffled, warm against your skin. then, quieter, almost unhinged: “we just speedran my entire hentai folder.”
you laugh, a weak, breathy sound that bubbles up despite the ache in your ribs. “i know.”
“i didn’t even know i could,” he says, his voice small, like he’s confessing a sin. “i haven’t even done that in vr.”
you snort, the sound catching in your throat. “nerd.”
he groans, but it’s not annoyed—it’s mortified, the kind of sound that comes from knowing he’s exposed himself completely. “i’m never gonna recover from this. i glossed you like a fuckin’ bratz doll. i glossed you.” his hand gestures vaguely at your lips, still shiny and smeared, and you laugh again, the sound softer now, your body too tired for anything more.
you roll over fully, tugging him down into the blankets with you, the pastel sheets tangling around your legs. he follows like a kicked puppy, his head resting on your chest, his breath warm against your skin. you can feel his heart still racing, his body still trembling from the high.
“i just,” you mumble, your voice barely audible, “wanted you to notice me. back during the group project, you never looked at me. just your laptop. even when i wore that stupid short skirt.”
he goes silent, his fingers pausing where they’re tracing lazy circles on your hip. then, in a voice so small it barely carries: “…you wore that for me?”
you nod, your cheek brushing his hair.
he lets out the tiniest, most violated gasp, like you’ve just rewritten his entire reality. “i thought you were just one of those girls who always looked hot. like, default setting.” his voice cracks on the last word, and you can’t help the teasing smile that tugs at your lips.
“no,” you say, your tone playful despite the exhaustion. “i was trying to seduce the dumbass with the mecha desktop background.”
he muffles a sob into your chest, half-laugh, half-groan, his arms tightening around you. “i love mecha…” he says, like it’s the most tragic thing in the world, and you hum, stroking his hair, your fingers catching in the sweaty strands.
“i know.”
a long pause settles over you, the kind that feels like it could stretch forever. the fairy lights twinkle softly, casting shadows across the room, and your perfume lingers, mixing with the musk of sex. his breathing slows, but he doesn’t let go, his body still pressed to yours like he’s afraid you’ll vanish.
then he lifts his head, his eyes serious, stripped of the wild edge they had before. “can i… hold you properly? not like—y’know—breeding press. like, real holding.” his cheeks flush, like he’s embarrassed to admit he wants something soft after all that.
“you already folded me in half like a love letter,” you whisper, but you shift into his arms anyway, letting him pull you close. he wraps around you, tight, needy, his hands trembling like he’s still processing you’re real, not just pixels on a screen. his hold is desperate, like he’s trying to memorize the shape of you, every curve, every soft inch, in case this never happens again.
“don’t make fun of me,” he says, his voice muffled against your shoulder. “i think my crush on you just speedran into obsession.” there’s a rawness to it, a confession that feels too big for the quiet, but it lands soft, like he’s finally letting it out.
“you’re the one who begged for one more while crying into my shoulder,” you tease, your voice barely above a whisper, your fingers tracing the line of his jaw.
“stop,” he groans, burying his face deeper, his arms tightening like he could squeeze the embarrassment out of himself. “i’m gonna die.”
you press a kiss to his forehead, slow and deliberate, your lips lingering on his sweaty skin. “you’re not gonna die,” you say, your tone soft but firm. “you’re gonna eat me out on friday and wear your glasses while you do it.”
he whimpers, a pathetic, needy sound, his hips twitching involuntarily against your thigh. “say less,” he mumbles, his voice wrecked, but there’s a spark in it, like you’ve just lit something in him again. you giggle, wrapping your leg around his waist, pulling him closer, your skin sticking to his in the humid air.
and in the quiet, as you’re both drifting off—sore, sticky, still catching your breath—he says it again. not ruined this time, not even possessive. just low. certain. like he’s already planning his next sin.
“mine.”
you don’t answer. just smile into the pillow, heart pounding. because maybe you are. and maybe you’ll let him prove it again.
especially once he finds out what cosplay you ordered last week.
friday’s going to be filthy.
#౨ৎ — filed reports#gojo satoru#satoru gojo#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk gojo#gojo smut#jjk smut#gojo x reader smut#jjk x reader smut#gojo x female reader#jjk x female reader#jjk x fem!reader#gojo satoru x you#gojo satoru x yn#satoru gojo x you#gojo satoru smut#satoru gojo x reader#gojo satoru x reader#gojo oneshot#jjk oneshot#nerd gojo#nerd!gojo#nerdjo
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𝜗𝜚˚⋆ CEO KENTO FUCKING HIS WIFE
Tw- reader is his secretary n wife!!! ꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱ not proofread :p

Thinking about CEO Nanami fucking his hot ribbons of cum further into his secretary wife’s cunt. :3 Your upper half is craning over his polished work desk and your limbs are shaking and strained from being crammed in the same position for so fucking long.
Your once well-ironed pencil skirt is now bunched up around your waist and the pristine buttons of your white blouse struggle to contain the ripe swell of your breasts that's smushed and spilling out onto his important documents— exposing all the purple hickeys and love marks that he imprinted on you earlier for the whole world to see.
His once orderly combed golden blonde hair is now in disarray, matted with damped sweat and his bangs fell across his hazel eyes, hindering his vision as he struggled to keep up his vigorous pace— he teetered on the verge of losing his mind as he feverishly gazed down at the sight of his creamy pool of cum threatening to spill from your stretched-out hole.
Streams of his milky sperm are trailing down your tender thighs, glistening under the ambient light and pooling on the sleek marble floor. As his swollen cockhead nudges the remnants of his release deeper into the depths of your womb and stroking your overstimulated walls to the verge of tears.
You let out a high-pitched whine in response to the overwhelming overstimulation following your blissful and toe-curling orgasm just from a minute ago.
You desperately tried to wiggle your hips to detach yourself from his toned pelvis in an attempt to break free from his harsh hold which only earned you a burly groan from the blonde because of your sudden movements making his sensitive shaft drowning deeper into the tight depths of your drooling cunny. And it was obviously no use because of his unyielding grip on the sides of your ass cheeks that was leaving you trapped in his powerful grasp.
“Kennn…sir! What if someone sees—“You fussed worriedly, your heart racing as you quickly realized the precariousness of the situation. Anyone could open the door at any moment and witness their usually dignified and honorable boss entangled in such a disheveled and scandalous scene— his slacks shamelessly pulled down his ankles while he was slamming his hefty shaft and stretching out his wife's pretty cunt like a possessed madman. He’s like a whole different person this way.
You're seemingly trying your best to hold onto the desk for dear life as he frantically pounds your aching cunt with an intense rhythm, causing your tummy to press hard against the unforgiving surface and making it a challenge to keep your balance and remain upright because of how sore you are.
“Then I’ll fucking fire them, no one is stopping me from breeding my wife’s pretty pussy.” he babbled stupidly. “Can’t wait to have cute little blonde babies with your gorgeous eyes running around, darling”. His voice dripped with possessiveness and was raw with desire as he eagerly expressed his anticipation for starting a family with you. :(
You immediately whimpered at his intriguing words, your body betrays you and somehow you don’t even give a fuck about anyone seeing when you were arching your back deeper against him and pressing your chest further into the cool surface of the desk as you took the rest of his relentless pounding.
The sensation of his heavy balls rubbing against your puffy clit with each forceful thrust was practically sending you spiraling into another orgasm. He leaned over you— pressing his weight into your supple form, showering your back with a trail of fervent kisses. “You’re mine, all mine” he declared with a deep growl, his breath quickening as his throbbing cock pulsated against your slick, tight walls.
And then when you’re approaching your next orgasm, he’s babbling a bunch of shit you never even expected to hear escaping from Kento's lips. Telling you “cum for me again sweetheart, let everyone hear how fucking slutty my sweet submissive wife is”.
You made a split-second decision to glance over your shoulder and caught a glimpse of how fucked out and messy Kento looked with his tie askew, his chiseled face flushed, and beads of sweat glistening everywhere. Maybe your husband is losing his mind after all.
#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#Kento nanami#nanami kento#kento smut#nanami smut#kento x reader#nanami x reader#kento x female reader#nanami x female reader#jujutsu kaisen kento#kento imagine#kento x you#jjk kento#kento x y/n#nanami imagine#jjk nanami#jujutsu kaisen nanami#jjk smut#jjk x y/n#jjk imagines#jjk x you#jjk fanfic#jjk x reader#jujutsu kento#nanamin#nanami x fem!reader
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Crawlin' back to you
Joel Miller x f!sunshine!Reader
Summary: you ask Joel for help while preparing for your upcoming date with another man. (or so it seems)
Tags: grumpy x sunshine, idiots in love, sweet sweet fluff, age gap, a drop of angst, peepaw is insecure abt his age :(, Jackson era, Joel is kind of slow but it's okay we still love him (pookie doesn't realize how hot he is), me dancing around the smut like i'm a fucking circus acrobat
Word count: 4K
A/N: sooo very long time no see 🙈 ever since the start of 2025 i'm telling myself to get back into writing but it still felt like a chore lol. but i REALLY wanted to finish this fic before tlou s2 drops so here it is!!! i'm really proud of how it turned out and i hope to write more in the near future. love you all so so much and as always, happy reading!! 💕
dividers by @saradika 🩷
Joel Miller didn't have friends.
He had a couple of buddies before the outbreak with whom he used to watch the game sometimes, but nothing more than that. Tommy didn't count, of course, because he was his brother and therefore had to be nice to him. The only other person who could put up with him was Ellie, but the kid was… a kid. As for the other people in Jackson, they were wise to keep their distance from Joel, not wanting to hang around a shadow of a man such as him.
He didn't mind. He liked the peace and quiet, and it didn't bother him one bit that everyone seemed to give him a wide berth, whispering about the danger that he was.
Well, almost everyone avoided him. You, the exact person that should stay far away from a man like Joel Miller, gravitated to him with an almost effortless ease. Even amongst all the hopeful people that created Jackson, you were the purest, brightest ray of sunshine, always helpful and compassionate towards anyone who came your way. And even though Joel wasn't exactly welcoming to you in the beginning, you never gave up and persisted – and eventually, befriended him.
And ever since the first time you spoke to him, he didn't stand a chance. You were young and pretty, and so charming with your innocent optimism… Before Joel realized, he was fantasizing about you during the lonely evenings, dreaming of your voice late in the night, and looking for you in the crowd when he was out of the house.
He was way too old to feel this kind of way, and every now and then it felt like he was balancing on a tightrope between being stupid and borderline creepy. Such a sweet girl like you wouldn't look twice at an old man like him if she knew the things that sometimes ran through his mind when he was seeing other men flirting with you, seeking the same warm light that Joel grew addicted to.
That was the poison mixed with your sweetness – even though it was irrational, with you everything seemed easier than it was.
…even falling in love.
And fall Joel Miller did. It was an embarrassing, tainted experience, especially when he remembered how much older than you he was. But he couldn't help it, and once this burning want became clear to him, he didn't really want to fight it, either.
You were everything he should stay far away from – young, pretty and so bright with your smiles, your hope, your innocence. A sinner like Joel Miller had no place in your life, and yet he couldn't muster the courage to let you go. It was selfish of him, he knew, but spending time in your company was one of the few brightsides of his life… and he didn't have many of those, lately. He genuinely enjoyed being near you – a lot more than he probably should.
That's why, when he noticed you skipping his way with a bright smile splattered across your cheeks, he felt his heart instantly lighten. It was a hard day of work at the construction site and he was relieved to finally be heading home, but just the sight of you made the weariness disappear from within his bones.
“Joel! Hi!” Something must have stirred you quite strongly, for you were practically bouncing with excitement. The words were spilling out of your mouth before he even had a chance to say hello. “I need your help, right now. Please.”
“Slow down, darlin’,” he chuckled, letting you drag him by the arm to a wall of the nearest building and away from the crowd. “You alrigh’?”
“Yeah, yes, of course.” You waved to someone passing by, totally unfazed – or maybe just ignorant – that you were being seen with him in public. “I just need your help.”
“Well, what is it?” he repeated the question and finally, you turned to face him. Joel couldn't help but match the pretty smile on your face, but it quickly faded when you blurted out your next words.
“I like someone.”
That short, simple sentence wrecked Joel’s world by the foundations. For a couple of seconds he just stared at you with his mouth slightly agape while you fidgeted with your hands nervously, but still overjoyed.
“Wh– uhh, sorry?”
“I like someone,” you repeated excitedly, as if your words weren't piercing right through Joel's heart. “And I need your help.”
All of the sudden, the world lost all its colors, as if all the meaning was sucked out of the universe just by your words.
Why it was such a surprise to him, Joel didn't know. Of course you'd sooner or later get together with someone. He should have expected it. You were young, pretty and such a joy to be around, people were gravitating towards you instinctively. Like moths to a flame.
Just like him – yet he was always destined to only get burned.
“Joel?”
You leaned closer and Joel's eyes instinctively focused on your lower lip worried between your teeth. You were obviously oblivious to his feelings, as well as the effect you had on him – otherwise he doubted you'd tempt him like that, unknowingly making his mind fixate on how perfect your lips would have felt under his touch.
But no, it wasn't his caresses you wanted. There was someone else, someone far more deserving of you, and you were asking Joel only for his help. And though it hurt him – it killed him to lose this small sliver of affection you had been giving him so far – he nodded supportingly.
“Wha… what do you need help with, sweet girl?” he asked softly, trying not to show how devastated he felt inside. Joel had no desire to hear about whoever was fortunate enough to gain your favor, but again, luck wasn't on his side.
“I made a plan to meet him,” you explained enthusiastically, grabbing his forearm. Joel looked at where your fingers touched his skin, barely listening to your words. “Tonight. And I need you to come with me.”
That woke him up from his reverie. Joel huffed and shook his head sharply, looking at you like you were out of your mind.
“No.” His tone was almost biting, but through his firm refusal, a trace of panic was slipping through. You pouted, squeezing his forearm lightly.
“Oh, come on, please? I just want to make sure everything’s perfect.”
“No,” Joel repeated, much weaker this time. “Hell no. Why would I–” Then, a dark thought bloomed in his mind and his face turned concerned. “You're worried he'd do somethin’ to you?”
“Oh, no, no!” It was your turn to shake your head, and you actually cracked a smile at Joel's worried tone. “No, he'd never hurt me.”
Your voice got softer; your smile turned serene. Joel wanted nothing more than to turn away when your eyes started to wander across his features, but again that proved to be too herculean of a task compared to the hold you had over him.
“He's kind,” you continued absentmindedly, and on the edge of consciousness Joel remembered your hand was still on his arm, tracing small lines with your thumb. “Respectful and thoughtful… A real gentleman.”
“A-and who’s he?” Joel found the courage to ask, breaking you out of your daydreams. You smiled happily again – that damned, sweet smile of yours – and removed your hand. He immediately started missing the feeling of your touch.
“You'll see.” You looked over your shoulder when someone shouted your name a street away, and waved from the distance. You gave Joel one last pleading look, clasping your hands together. “Come to the Tipsy Bison at 9. Please? You can just sit in the corner but I'll feel so much better and safer with you there.”
Once Joel looked into your beautiful, pleading eyes, he was a goner. He never could deny you anything either way.
Even when he would kill for a chance to go on a real date with you.
“Okay,” he finally caved in. “Alrigh’. I'll be there.”
The overjoyed smile you gave him was almost enough to soothe the hollow pain in his chest.
Almost.
Great. Fucking great.
Joel made another turn around the street, trying to build up the courage to approach Tipsy Bison. The flannel shirt he wore was itching uncomfortably, but he was already half an hour late and there was no time to go back home and change.
He regretted ever setting foot in Jackson. It was a nightmare situation for him, having to spend the evening in a room full of loud, drunk people and watch as you go about your date with another man. Joel thought a dozen times about making up some excuse as to why he can't chaperone your date after all. He even went as far as to beg Tommy to accompany him, just that he wouldn’t have to suffer alone, but his younger brother just gave him a pitying look, saying something about spending time with Maria tonight. Joel could always cancel, lie that he can’t make it after all… but then he remembered how hopeful and thankful you looked, and all his resolve was wavering again. He couldn't ever say no to you, even though he desperately wanted to.
He looked at his broken watch, sighing at the hour. He delayed the inevitable long enough, so with heavy steps he approached the bar at last. You asked him to go through the back door, for whatever reason, and he was too tired at the time to point out there’s nothing back there except for the kitchen and storage rooms. Whatever. You probably were already in the main hall, with your date, and either you were angry at Joel for being late, or not thinking about him at all. He wasn’t sure which one would be worse.
Once he stepped over the threshold, he carefully closed the door behind him. The racket from the bar was muffled here, but from the nearest room he could hear someone muttering. Joel swallowed heavily and cleared his throat to alert whoever was on the other side of the wall.
“Joel?” he heard your voice before you appeared in the doorway. At the sight of him your shoulders dropped and with confusion he noted that you didn’t look angry or disappointed – you seemed relieved. “Goddammit, finally you’re here. You took your sweet time, huh?”
Before he could answer, you walked forward and took his sleeve, half-dragging him behind you. Words of protest bubbled on his tongue, but they all died quickly when Joel saw the room you emerged from.
The storage shelves were decorated with fairy lights and in the middle of the room stood a small table with two chairs opposite each other. The only other source of light were a couple of candles on the table and around the room. There was food on the table – probably cold by now – and a bottle of wine. But most importantly – there was no one else in the room except for Joel and you.
While he was looking around like an absolute fool, searching for an explanation for this situation, you cautiously closed the door and walked around the man, coming to a stop by the set table with your hands clasped in front of you.
“...Well?” you asked after an uncomfortably long silence, letting out a nervous laugh. “What do you think?”
Joel blinked, not sure if you were talking to him.
“Where's the guy?”
You threw him a confused look, but truly, it was the only thing Joel could think of. He glanced around the room again, as if his mysterious competition was going to jump up from behind one of the shelves, but there was no trace of anyone else here.
“Your… your date,” he clarified after a moment and cleared his throat once more. A spark of understanding flashed in your eyes and you pressed your lips together. “It's late. Is he… He didn't set you up, did he?”
“That depends,” you finally answered softly, keeping your wary but hopeful eyes on him. “Are you finally gonna sit down?”
A cog clicked into its place in Joel's mind and he turned his head, not sure if he had heard you right. You smiled nervously and motioned to the table.
“The food’s probably cold by now, but I can heat it up. It’s your own fault, though, since I asked you to be here forty minutes ago–”
“I don’t…”
He didn’t understand. Nothing made sense, but he had to make sure, “So there’s no… there’s no date?”
You were clearly nervous, judging by the way you were fidgeting with your hands, but you sent him a shy smile nonetheless. “I mean, you’re here…”
Joel didn’t answer – frankly, he didn’t know what to say. So many conflicted emotions were swirling in his chest, blocking his throat from squeezing out even a sound. It created almost a physical pain between his ribs, especially when your eyes were still on him, so hopeful and patient.
After another pregnant pause, you let out a quiet breath and took a step forward, throwing him a lifeline since he clearly must’ve looked like an idiot. “There’s no one else coming, if that’s what you’re asking. I made all of this for you – for… us, maybe. I just…” You half-shrugged, and only now Joel realized how nice you looked, wearing a dress he never before saw you in, “didn’t know how to tell you.”
Joel swept his gaze over the room once more – the dinner, the lights, your pretty dress… and you. And it was all for him, apparently.
“Why?” he breathed, the weight of his age almost making him collapse to his knees. He desperately wanted to say something more profound than one word at the time, but his voice was failing him. Thankfully, you were always kind enough to fill in the silence.
“Why did I lie to you or why did I drag you here of all places?” You rounded the table, eyeing the decorations with a proud smile. “Well–”
“No, darlin’, why…” He shook his head. Everything felt too unreal, too sudden. And he felt so tired. “Why me?”
That made you pause and you turned to him with a surprised look, like what he just said was the last thing you expected to hear.
“What do you mean, why you?” you huffed incredulously, leaning forward against the back of the chair, and though you tried to look casual, the nervousness in the tension of your body was apparent. “You’re just… I mean, it must be pretty clear that I really like you… And I thought you might have felt the same. You know, with all the ‘darling’s’ and looking at me, and stuff…”
Was it a dream? You always looked like you were out of a dream, but something about this moment… the fairy lights, your shy demeanor, the words he never thought he’d hear from you… Joel didn't know if he was still alive or maybe that's what the afterlife looked like.
“...You could say something,” you half-joked with a trace of worry in your voice, obviously growing uncomfortable at his lack of reaction. “You know, Tommy only let me have this place ‘til midnight before they come by to restock the bar. We can at least eat and talk a little, right?”
“Did Tommy put you up to this?” Joel asked bitterly, unable to stop himself at the mention of his brother’s name. He recalled the look Tommy gave him earlier today, his excuses as to why he can’t come with him... What other explanation could there be for such a gorgeous, young woman to be interested in Joel of all people, if it wasn’t just a product of his kin’s poor humor? However, he instantly regretted asking you this when your soft smile disappeared altogether, and you wrapped your arms around yourself.
“You can just say if you don’t feel the same way,” you said dryly with an angry and hurt furrow on your brow. “No need to be a dick about it.”
You walked by him, apparently done with Joel’s accusations and grumpiness, but he quickly caught your arm before he could think better of it. You spun around, probably ready to tear into him, but he wouldn't hear a word either way – no while a vortex of doubts and questions raged in his mind. Joel didn’t know how or why you’d ever take interest in an old man like him, but he was now certain of two things.
One, you were telling the truth. For whatever reason, you really liked him – enough to plan and prepare a whole dinner date just for him.
And two, if Joel let you walk out now, he’d regret it for the rest of his life.
You must’ve noticed the change on his face when his eyes flickered to your lips because you froze, the words of hurt and disappointment drying out on your tongue. Joel swallowed and wet his lips, looking for any sign of hesitation or regret on your face, but there was nothing in your eyes but pure, fragile anticipation. He delicately put his hand on the side of your face, the rough pad of his thumb brushing your cheek slowly. Your eyelashes fluttered closed and you let out a shaky breath, and that was all it took for Joel to lean down and press his lips to yours.
The kiss started delicate, but almost immediately turned into a fervent, hungry thing, which you ardently reciprocated. Joel wanted to take his time, to test the waters and build up the anticipation until you were ready to beg for him, but he didn’t expect just how fucking good kissing you would feel – and how eager you were for his touch. The smell of you, the feel of your hands on his chest and arms… it was driving him crazy with want, and without thinking twice, he spun you around and pinned your back against the edge of the table, making you whimper into his mouth.
“Goddammit, baby…” The term of endearment slipped out before he realized it, but judging by your reaction you didn’t mind at all. Your breath hitched, making him smirk to himself as he started to realize just how much power he held over you. It certainly shouldn’t excite him as much as it did. “Are you absolutely sure that’s what you want?”
“Joel, if you don’t stop questioning me…” you started, and although your words were firm, your voice leaned into a deliciously needy pitch, the kind of which he yearned to hear for far too long. Joel groaned into your mouth, moving down to press hot kisses against the line of your jaw and down your neck, greedily drinking in the noises you were making.
“Tell me, darlin’,” he asked in a low voice, experimentally running his palm up your thigh under the pretty dress you wore. The effect was immediate, and you pressed your body closer to him, seeking his touch the moment it left your skin. “I need to know if you really mean all this.”
“For fuck’s sake, Joel–” You made a surprised noise as he hoisted you up and onto the table, but it turned into another needy whimper when he knocked your knees apart and slotted himself between them with ease. You glanced behind you, worried that you'll push the silverware off the table, and Joel took this moment to resume the onslaught on your neck, kissing and sucking every inch of skin he could reach. You choke back a moan as his touch made a shiver run up your spine. “Joel, please…”
“I need to hear it, sweetheart,” he murmured lowly against your skin, slowing down to tease you when he felt your heartbeat quicken up beneath his lips. “Need to make sure you know what you're gettin’ into.”
“I do, I promise,” you assured him fervently while your hands went to the back of his head, fingers tangling into his gray locks. “You have no idea how many times I thought about this. I wanted you for so long, Joel, please…”
“Wanted you, too, darlin’.” He put one of his hands on the small of your back, pulling your lower half closer to the edge of the table so you could feel what you were doing to him. “God, every time you smiled at me it was all I could think about… So kind and beautiful, never thought you'd look twice my way.”
You didn't bother to answer this time, instead angling his head up to kiss him deeply again. The doubt and fear were still present in Joel's mind, but he honestly couldn't focus on them with you in front of him. You were so warm under his palms, so pliant and eager, a literal putty in his steady hands. He could never imagine how incredible it felt to be wanted by someone so much, but at the same time he knew he had to take his time. As much as he wanted to keep going, to make you see stars and sing his name, it was more than just lust with you.
So when you reached for the buttons of his shirt, he gently grabbed your wrists and moved them away, finally regaining his self-control. You whined disapprovingly, but the crease between your brows quickly disappeared when Joel kissed your fingers softly, not taking his eyes off you.
“Shh, sweetheart, don’t rush,” he cood, earning a small disappointed pout. He had to close his eyes, lest he caved in. Fuck, the sight of you before him – your pupils blown wide, lips swollen from his ministrations, your heavy breath and the dress bunched around your hips… Joel was sure you’d let him do anything to you right now. And God, he couldn’t wait. “Let me do this properly, yeah? Have a nice date with you, then maybe take you home if you don’t change your mind…”
“We can skip the dinner,” you quietly offered, your breath still uneven and cheeks flushed. He huffed a laugh with fondness and leaned in to plant a soft kiss on your forehead, his own breathing also slightly erratic.
“Wouldn’t dream of it,” he murmured against your skin before taking your face in his hands. “Someone did say I’m a gentleman, no?”
You seemed to regret your previous choice of words, accentuating it with a disappointed whimper and a buck of your hips. Joel groaned and kissed you deeply again, almost able to taste all the impatience and desire on your tongue. Surprisingly, you didn’t fight him further and instead obediently slid off the table, wrapping your arms tightly around his neck to be as close to him as possible.
Joel was grateful for this moment of calm before even more excitement – and he didn’t mind spending it by watching you, standing so close and smiling up at him as brightly as the sun itself.
“You believe me now?” you asked teasingly, stifling your giggles when Joel rolled his eyes playfully. “Good. You will have to make it up to me, then.”
Worry crept back onto Joel’s face, but you were quick to calm him down with a tender kiss to his jaw, and then another one lower, on his pulse point. “You were late. If you got here on time, we could’ve been doing this at least half an hour longer.”
Joel chuckled and lifted your chin with his finger, before kissing you briefly one last time.
“Baby, let’s enjoy the dinner you prepared, first. After that, I swear I’ll make it up to you in however many ways you want.”
Judging by your smile, you didn’t seem to mind at all.
#joel miller x reader#joel miller#pedro pascal#the last of us#joel miller x y/n#tlou hbo#joel miller fanfiction#the last of us fanfiction#joel miller fluff#joel miller angst#grumpy x sunshine#the last of us fic#joel miller x you
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(Poly 141 x neighbour!reader: the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach! (Or in your case, the way to four men’s heart is through their stomach))
It started with cookies.
You’d been in the middle of baking a double batch- oatmeal chocolate chip, your personal favorite- and realized halfway through scooping them onto the tray that you’d made far too many for one person. It wasn’t unusual. Baking was how you coped with stress, and ever since you’d moved into this apartment building, stress had been in no short supply.
The guy in 3A had blared music all night. Your hot water barely lasted five minutes. And your smoke detector had developed a habit of chirping at odd hours.
But there was one bright spot- your neighbors in 3C.
You’d seen them coming and going. Tall, broad, and always carrying duffel bags that looked far too heavy to be legal. They kept odd hours, too, but never caused trouble. One of them- Johnny, you’d learned later- had even held the door open for you when your arms were full of groceries.
Which was why you’d stood outside their door that evening, balancing a plate of cookies and feeling like an idiot as you knocked.
Not-Johnny had answered first, blinking down at you in surprise, though his smile was warm and he was beautiful. You couldn’t blame him; you had barely spoken to them more than a few short words.
“Uh… hi?”
“Hi.” You forced a smile. “I’m your neighbor from 3B. I, uh… made too many cookies?”
His eyes dropped to the plate immediately, and you swore you saw something primal flicker behind them. Still, you worried.
“I mean, if you don’t want-”
“No! No, we want. Come in- Johnny! Get over here!”
And that was how it started.
The second time had been lasagna.
You’d just finished assembling it when you realized- again- that you’d made too much. So, after psyching yourself up for ten minutes, you’d knocked on their door for the second time in as many weeks.
Price, who had introduced himself along wuth Simon the day you dropped off the cookies, had answered that time, his expression guarded until he saw the foil-covered pan in your hands.
“You’re joking,” he’d said, but when you started to retreat, he’d stopped you with a firm, but gentle hand on your back. He had such a nice, big hand. “Don’t be ridiculous, lovie. Get in here.”
That night, you’d sat at their table, sharing stories and laughter while they cleaned the dish down to the last crumb.
After that, it became routine.
You started “testing recipes,” and they became your eager guinea pigs.
And they never seemed to mind.
And now…
The smell hit first- roasted garlic, browned butter, and something rich simmering low and slow. It snuck out from the slightly cracked kitchen window and spilled into the shared hallway of the apartment building. For men used to MREs and takeout, it was practically siren song.
Gaz was the first to notice, lingering just outside the door labeled 3B- your door- with an almost predatory focus. He wasn’t proud of it, but his stomach growled so loud that Soap- rounding the corner with a gym bag slung over his shoulder- laughed outright.
“You stalking the neighbor again?”
“Shut up. You smell that?”
Soap inhaled deeply. His eyes fluttered shut for a beat before snapping open.
“Jesus wept- what is that?!”
“I don’t know, but I’m this close to knocking.” Kyle held up his fingers, barely an inch apart.
“She already fed us last week, mate. Dinna push it.”
“But what if she’s testing another recipe?”
Gaz wasn’t wrong. You had a habit of showing up at their door with dishes too good to refuse.
They hadn’t stood a chance.
After the cookies and the lasagna, it wasn’t long before other dishes followed: casseroles, soups, pies, and even homemade bread. And the worst part? You bow always prefaced it by saying you needed an opinion- like they were doing you the favor.
It wasn’t until Price called you a “bloody saint” over a pan of enchiladas that Ghost finally put it together.
“You’re using us as taste testers.” He’d said flatly.
You’d grinned- too cute and too smug for your own good. “Is that a problem?”
Not a single one of them had said no, just as stated before.
Which led them here, hovering outside your door and pretending they weren’t waiting for another offering.
“… Fine.” Soap muttered, raising his hand to knock.
But the door swung open before he could, and there you were- apron on, hair pulled back, and flour dusted across your cheek.
“Hi!” You chirped, eyes bright. “Perfect timing!”
Gaz’s grin was pure relief. “Tell me you need opinions. Please, love.”
You laughed, stepping aside to let them in. “I always need opinions. Come in!”
Inside, the kitchen was chaos. Cutting boards and mixing bowls were scattered across the counters. A Dutch oven bubbled on the stove, releasing clouds of savory steam. Plates of food- half-assembled sandwiches, stuffed peppers, and what looked like chocolate tarts- sat waiting.
“I… might’ve gone overboard.” You admitted, and if you hadn’t spent all day in the kitchen, your cheeks would’ve gone warmer.
Soap whistled low, eyes raking over every dish. “Not complainin’.”
Price arrived just then, texted by Kyle, trailed closely by Simon, who took one look at the spread and froze. His eyes swept from the roasted chicken resting under a blanket of fresh herbs to the still-warm biscuits stacked beside a bowl of honey butter.
“What’s the occasion?” John asked, smile amused, but you just waved him off.
“Practicing.”
Gaz was already halfway to the table, trying to decide what to start with, but Simon lingered, watching you carefully. He had his balaclava on, though you haven’t yet dared to ask why he wears it.
“Practicing for what, exactly?”
You hesitated, fiddling with the edge of your apron. “There’s this… thing next week. A community bake-off. And I thought it might be fun to enter.”
Soap arched a brow. “You’re entering this in a bake-off?”
“Well, not all of it. I’m still deciding which dishes to use.”
“You’re winning.” Kyle said immediately, filling his plate.
“Definitely.” Johnny added, already reaching for a sandwich.
Simon, still lingering, crossed his arms and stared down at you. His height will never, ever not make your breath hitch. “You’re testing all of this on us?”
You looked up at him through your lashes, pouting just a little. “You don’t mind, do you, Simon?”
His gaze darkened- not in anger, but something softer, heavier. It made your stomach flip.
“No,” he said simply. “We don’t mind.”
You swallowed and turned quickly to the oven to hide the heat rushing to your cheeks.
The next hour passed in a blur of taste testing, arguments over which dish was best, and repeated assurances that you were going to “blow the competition out of the water.” But beneath the laughter and teasing, you failed to catch the way they looked at you- how Price lingered by the stove just to steal extra bites, or how Johnny kept offering to help, hovering close enough that you brushed elbows more than once.
And Simon? He was the worst of all. He didn’t say much, but his eyes tracked your every move, following the way your hands worked the dough or wiped flour off the counter. He was the last to leave, hanging back as the others helped clear plates.
“You’re serious about this bake-off?” he asked quietly.
You nodded. “Thought it might be fun.”
“You don’t need it.”
“… What?”
He gestured at the now-empty plates. “To prove anything, I mean. You’re already…” He trailed off for a few seconds, and though you were left blinking at him, you didn’t rush him. “Good enough.” he murmured at last.
The compliment hit harder than you expected, and for once, you didn’t have a clever response.
“Thank you, Simon. That… means a lot to me.” you said softly.
And just like that, the others reappeared, breaking the moment. Johnny patted Simon’s shoulder with a knowing smirk, and Kyle slung an arm around your shoulders, while Price merely watched. Your kitchen was now spotless, cleaned by them.
“When’s the next test run?” Gaz asked.
“I don’t know yet.”
“Well, let us know. We’re free anytime.”
“Yeah,” Soap added. “Anytime.”
You laughed but this time, you didn’t miss the way Price was looking at you- thoughtful, like he’d already made up his mind about something.
The door clicked shut behind them after that, leaving your apartment quieter but no less warm. The scent of roasted garlic and herbs still lingered, and you found yourself smiling as you surveyed the spotless kitchen. They’d made quick work of the mess, trading jokes and lighthearted jabs as they wiped down counters and stacked dishes in quite the uniform style.
You didn’t know what you’d done to deserve neighbors like them, but you weren’t about to question it.
You caught yourself humming as you tucked away the last plate, the sound of their laughter still echoing faintly in your ears. It was easy with them- comfortable in a way that felt rare and almost too good to be true.
And maybe it was.
Because what you didn’t know- what you would probably never know, such a sweet and trusting thing- was that your apartment had been wired within days of your first visit to their door.
To them, it had started with a conversation.
“She’s alone,” Price had said after the second time you’d brought them food, leaning back in his chair with a contemplative frown. “No sign of anyone else coming or going.”
“Security’s shite.” Gaz had added, gesturing vaguely toward the shared hallway where your lock barely functioned half the time.
Soap had shrugged, easygoing as ever, but his eyes had been sharp. “Better us keep an eye on her than let some arsehole get the chance.”
And that was that.
Price had ordered the equipment, Ghost had handled the installation, and none of them had lost sleep over it. Not when it meant keeping you safe.
It wasn’t just the cameras, either.
Simon had reinforced your locks under the guise of “fixing” them after you mentioned a struggle with your key. Johnny had talked you into letting him check your windows “just to be sure they latched properly.” Gaz had set up an app on your phone to “monitor deliveries,” though it also let them track your location if needed.
And Price? He always lingered at the door just long enough to ask if you needed anything else- subtle, but enough to make sure you knew they were there.
You never questioned it. Never noticed the way they moved like a unit around you, anticipating problems before they could arise. Never caught the glances they exchanged when you mentioned a repairman or the way Simon hovered near the window any time a car idled too long outside.
You just kept feeding them, trusting them in ways that only made their resolve deepen.
Price was the worst.
He’d leaned against the counter tonight, watching you laugh at Johnny’s jokes and swat at Kyle when he tried to sneak extra bites, and the thought had hit him harder than he expected, while Simon watched on in amusement and was the only to successfully swipe a few more bites.
They could’ve had this already.
If life had gone differently- if timing had been better- you could’ve been his. Theirs. Someone to come home to instead of just someone they visited between deployments.
He hadn’t said anything, of course. None of them had.
But as they left, he’d lingered in the doorway, letting his hand rest lightly against the frame.
“Don’t let ‘em eat it all before the bake-off,” he’d teased, lips curling into a smile. “They’ll start begging if you do.”
You’d laughed, and God, it was dangerous how much he liked the sound.
“I’ll make sure to keep them in line.”
His smile softened. “Good girl.”
You didn’t notice the way Simon shot him a sharp look at that- or the way Johnny and Kyle exchanged knowing grins.
And later, when Price sat down in front of the monitors to check the feeds, he didn’t let himself feel guilty.
Because you were safe.
And as far as they were concerned, that was all that mattered.
#noona.writes#cod x reader#cod x you#cod#tf 141 x reader#tf 141 x you#tf 141#cod imagines#john price x reader#simon ghost riley x you#simon ghost riley imagines#simon ghost riley x reader#ghost x reader#ghost x you#poly 141 x you#poly!141 x reader#poly 141 x reader#poly!141#poly 141#johnny soap mctavish x you#johnny soap mctavish x reader#soap x you#soap x reader#kyle gaz garrick x you#kyle gaz garrick x reader#gaz x you#gaz x reader#yandere cod#cod yandere
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Stalker

A/n: I hope you enjoy
Warning: Stalker!Gojo, dub con, fingering, pussy drunk Gojo, unprotected sex, peeping tom, male masturbation, breeding
As the strongest sorcerer alive, Gojo Satoru knows he should be the epitome of justice, the defender of what's right. So out of all people Gojo Satoru should know that what he is doing is wrong. Very wrong.
Yet despite this he cant help but be drawn to you, linger around you, stalk you. He finds himself drawn to the places you frequent, learning the rhythm of your life, memorizing the small details that make you, you. The coffee shop where you start your morning, the park bench where you read during your lunch break, the dimly lit street you walk down on your way home. In his mind, a narrative builds—a story where he is a part of your world, where his presence matters to you as much as yours has inexplicably come to matter to him.
For a time, Gojo convinces himself that he can be satisfied merely as a shadow in your life, lingering on the periphery, unseen yet ever-present. But as each day passes, witnessing your coworker's blatant glances towards you, Jesus, the short skimpy clothes you wear, the delicate balance begins to fracture. The urge to step out from the shadows and into the light is starting to grow to hard to resist.
The tension reaches its crescendo one evening as he watches from your window—a routine that has become his dark solace. You're preparing for bed, the familiar motions shadowed in the dim light. As you slip under the covers, a sudden sound pierces the silence: moans, soft and whining, drift through the air.
Are you, touching yourself?
Gojo freezes, his heart stuck in his throat. He doesnt know what to do. The sound of your moans cuts through the stillness, sending his heart into a frantic rhythm and hout blood coursing to his dick.
"Fuck." He groans, feeling his member strain against his black pants. His resolve is slowly snapping by the second. With a mixture of urgency and caution, he silently eases the window open and slips into the room.
Shit shit shit.
He approaches your bed, his breath is held tight in his chest as he takes in the sight before him. Your face is contorted in pleasure, lips slightly parted, a soft pant escaping them—each detail more intoxicating than the last. Under the covers your hand shifts, fingers moving back and forth. His heart hammers against his ribs, disbelief mingling with raw emotion as he realizes you're completely absorbed in your own world, unaware of his presence.
It's not until he looms over you that you finally sense another presence, snapping your eyes open to gasp, "Who are you?"
"Shhh baby I'm not here to hurt you I promise," Gojo whispers, a gentle yet firm assurance in his tone, "I'm here to help you okay? You can call me Satoru."
Confusion flickers across your face as you stammer, "What I don't—" Your instinct is to retreat, but he gently pins you down, his hands firm yet careful.
"It's okay, it's okay, baby," he soothes, his tone meant to calm and reassure you in the soft darkness.
Unsure why, you find yourself yielding to the comforting timbre of his voice, allowing him to press tender, feathery kisses along your chin.
"I'm gonna make you feel better better ok?" He hums and you're too engrossed in the feeling of his kisses on your skin that you barely notice he is pulling your underwear down your legs.
"Wait, i don't, this is-" you stutter but your words melt away as soon as you feel his warm touch on your stomach. Shit, you know you should resist, you know how wrong this is—a stranger in your room, touching you in such an intimate manner. Yet, there he is, devastatingly handsome under the shadowy caress of the night, his piercing blue eyes locking with yours, filled with an intensity that sends shivers down your spine. His voice, smooth and soothing, weaves through the thick air, and despite the alarm bells ringing in your mind, you're desperate for the relief he seems to offer.
You sharply gasp when you feel him slide a long finger between the lips of your cunt, collecting your juices before bringing them up to your sensitive clit.
"Already so wet aren't you."
Without a warning, Gojo slips a finger into your gummy walls and curls toward your belly button.
"M'Satoru!" You gasp. The foreign intrusion knocks the wind out of you and your hips instinctively buck into the air, your toe-curling from the sudden pleasure. You dont know it but Gojo is struggling to maintain his composure as well. The reality of your whines, the softness of your insides, surpasses even the wildest of his fantasies.
"This is bad baby, really bad, I don't think I can just touch you here." Gojo chokes out with a groan.
You dumbly nod, too lost in the pleasure to notice the unbuckling of Gojo’s pants. The pressure of his fat tip against your quivering hole is exhilarating and you can’t help but hold your breath as he finally pushes in. You let out a loud moan when you feel his tip smush against your cervix once he gets down to the last inch.
"Ah-Ah ah oh god," Gojo groans. He mentally curses himself that he could ever think his hand could replace the feeling of your cunt. "You feel good baby? Because I feel so good, you feel so good." Gojo is babbling now as he thrusts in and out of you.
You had no strength to answer him, only offering wanton moans in retort as he continued to wreck your body with his completely brutal thrusts. The pain of him hitting the tip of your cervix nearly every time mixed his messy kisses on your mouth made your brain grow light and fuzzy.
Gojo thinks that if there is a heaven, this is surely it. All those times watching you, following you home, fantasizing about this exact moment—none of it prepared him for the overwhelming reality of being inside you, of fucking you. He can practically feel your heartbeat sync with his, the sheer intensity of this connection he had desired since he laid eyes on you made him realize something he never did before; he needs you all to himself. forever.
Gojo uses you like his personal cock sleeve, shapes your insides and bruises your cervix until your entire body jolts with sensitivity; ripping orgasm after orgasm from you. His balls slap against your ass with every drop and he retracts his hips until the tip pokes out to admire the sheen dripping to his base before fitting himself back into your snug walls and spilling ropes upon ropes of cum into your womb
Your body trembled from the overwhelming hotness and he smoothed a hand over your bloating stomach.
“Shhh, take it. Take it all,” he crooned.
#jjk smut#gojo x reader#gojo smut#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x reader#jjk x reader smut#jujutsu kaisen smut#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen headcanons#geto x reader#jjk x you#jjk x y/n#gojo satoru x reader#gojo saturo#jujutsu kaisen fanfic
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If you’re taking requests, may I request the “testing if my lipstick is kiss proof” trend thing with the Saja boys (separately)
”Kiss Proof” Trend w/ Saja Boys
Jinu
The apartment was quiet, save for the soft hum of music and the gentle click of Jinu’s fingers as they skimmed over his phone. He was sprawled on the couch, his posture effortless, exuding that cool, relaxed vibe that always seemed to draw people in. You watched him from across the room, a small smile tugging at your lips as you fiddled with your lipstick.
The red shade was bold—bold enough that you couldn’t help but wonder if it really was kiss-proof. You tilted the mirror toward the light, inspecting it carefully. If this was going to be a trend, you had to be sure, right?
A playful thought crossed your mind.
Without giving it too much thought, you slid your phone into your pocket and stood up, glancing over at Jinu. He didn’t notice—his eyes were glued to his screen, his focus absolute. Perfect.
You took a deep breath, straightened your posture, and in a moment of complete spontaneity, you made your move. Slowly, you approached him, your footsteps light, almost as if you were trying to sneak up on him.
“Hey, Jinu,” you said, trying to sound casual, but your voice betrayed you with a little too much uncertainty.
He glanced up at you, eyes narrowing slightly, a hint of curiosity in his expression. “What’s up?” he asked, his voice smooth, as if he’d been expecting nothing more than your typical chat.
Without giving him another second to respond, you leaned forward, pressing your lips briefly against his—just long enough to test the lipstick.
It was quick, just a soft peck—but the moment you pulled back, you could see the confusion flicker in his eyes.
“What was that?” he asked, his voice deadpan, the amusement in his tone barely concealed.
You froze. Your heart raced, suddenly aware of how ridiculous it must have looked. You stammered, face heating up almost instantly.
“I—I was just… testing to see if my lipstick was… kiss-proof?” You cringed at your own words as they slipped out, feeling like an absolute fool.
Jinu didn't immediately respond. Instead, he tilted his head slightly, studying you with that signature calmness of his, as though he was trying to figure out whether you were serious. His lips curved upward, forming that smirk you knew all too well—the kind that meant trouble.
"You know," he said, his tone low and teasing, "you don’t need an excuse to kiss me."
You blinked, taken aback by his casual confidence. But before you could form a response, he stood up, moving closer with a fluid motion that had you slightly off-balance.
His gaze never left yours, and it was intense, playful in a way that made your pulse quicken. There was no hiding the fact that he was enjoying this—enjoying the effect he had on you.
"Just do it," he murmured, his lips almost brushing your ear as he spoke.
The command hung in the air, effortless but undeniably charged with something more. The world seemed to slow down around you as you stood there, face flushed, heart pounding.
And then, just as easily as the words left his mouth, he closed the distance between you, leaning down to press his lips to yours.
The kiss was soft at first, gentle, as if he was savoring the moment. And for a second, you almost forgot about the lipstick, about the test, about everything. It was just him, his lips, the way his presence seemed to wrap around you like a whisper.
When he pulled away, the playful smirk was back on his face, and his eyes were gleaming with mischief.
“You don’t need a reason,” he said, his voice a soft purr. “But I’ll admit, your lipstick’s definitely kiss-proof.”
You opened your mouth to say something, but before you could, Jinu stepped back with a lazy stretch, turning to head toward the door. He paused in the doorway, glancing over his shoulder one last time.
“Oh, and just so you know…” He grinned that devil-may-care grin you were so familiar with, “You’re always allowed to kiss me whenever you want.”
With that, he left the room, leaving you standing there, still reeling from the kiss. Your heart was racing, but your mind... well, your mind was lost somewhere between the kiss and the way he made everything seem so effortless, so damnsmooth.
You couldn’t help but smile, your fingers lightly brushing your lips, now aware that your lipstick was definitely the least important thing on your mind.
Abs
You sat on the counter, casually scrolling through your phone, trying to keep your cool. Abs was in the kitchen, looking through the fridge, his usual confident air surrounding him as he hummed along to a song only he seemed to know.
You had a plan, and this time, it wasn’t about a random test. No, this was more... fun. You had just picked up a new lipstick, and you wanted to test something—something about the way he reacted to a kiss. But of course, you couldn’t just come out and say it.
You applied the lipstick slowly, staring at your reflection as the dark shade coated your lips. You leaned in a little closer to the mirror, taking your time, trying to make sure it was perfect.
Abs, still rummaging in the fridge, shot you a sideways glance.
“You gonna just stare at yourself all day or are you gonna actually do something?” he teased, that cocky smirk never leaving his face.
You rolled your eyes, but your lips curled into a smile. “Maybe I just like looking at perfection,” you shot back, making sure he could hear the playful edge in your voice.
Abs raised an eyebrow, clearly amused. “That so? Gotta admit, you’ve got confidence, but don’t forget, I’m the one who’s really got the moves around here.”
You slid off the counter with an exaggerated stretch, deciding it was time to test your theory.
“Yeah, yeah. You’re the king of everything,” you said, moving toward him with slow, deliberate steps. “But what if I told you I’m testing something else today?”
He looked over his shoulder, raising an eyebrow at your sudden approach. “Testing something else? What, like… a new lipstick shade? Or are we talking about something a little more... interesting?”
You grinned. “Maybe a little bit of both.”
Abs’ smirk deepened, clearly enjoying the mystery of your words. “You always keep me guessing. But you know, you should just get to the point.”
You didn’t waste any more time. As you got within arm’s reach, you leaned in, pressing your lips to his in one swift, firm motion. The kiss was deliberate—slower than the usual pecks, lingering just a bit longer, with no reason other than to see how he’d react. You pulled away, keeping your eyes on him, watching for his response.
Abs blinked, a little caught off guard for a split second. He stared at you, lips slightly parted as if he was processing what had just happened.
You barely had time to enjoy the look on his face before he grinned, his gaze full of that familiar cockiness.
“Testing your lipstick, huh?” His voice dropped a little, the playful tease turning into something more seductive. “Or were you just testing me?”
You froze for a split second, caught off guard by the way his words slid out with such confidence. But you weren’t about to let him get the last laugh just yet.
“I was just testing to see if it’s kiss-proof,” you said, barely able to hide your grin. “But, uh… looks like it is.”
Abs chuckled, low and knowing. Then, without warning, he took a step toward you, his grin turning into a full, mischievous smile.
“You don’t need a test for that,” he said, his voice dripping with that flirtatious confidence. “You could’ve just kissed me anytime.”
Before you could even respond, he leaned in—fast—and kissed you again. This time, it wasn’t just a brief touch. His lips were more demanding, but still playful, teasing as he pulled away just a fraction too soon to give you a moment to catch your breath.
“You’re right,” he whispered, his lips still hovering near yours. “Your lipstick’s definitely kiss-proof. But you?” His eyes glinted. “I think I’m the one who’s unstoppable.”
He backed away with a wink, clearly enjoying the effect his words had on you. Then he casually grabbed a drink from the fridge, as if nothing had happened—like he hadn’t just completely turned the tables on you.
You stood there, lips tingling from the kiss, unsure if you should feel flustered or impressed.
“Well, looks like I’ve got more testing to do,” you said, trying to recover your composure.
Abs only chuckled, that signature cocky smirk back in place. “Take your time, but don’t forget—I always win in the end.”
With that, he sauntered off, leaving you standing there, a little breathless, and definitely more than a little intrigue.
Romance
The evening was warm, the air still carrying that late summer humidity, but the lights in the living room were soft and intimate. Romance was lounging on the couch, dressed in a casual T-shirt and jeans, looking completely at ease. A low hum of a jazz track played in the background—smooth and relaxing, the perfect setting for an unexpected twist.
You had been experimenting with your makeup in front of the mirror, testing out new lipstick shades and trying to find the one that suited you best. Romance, ever the curious one, had barely noticed until the vibrant color you applied caught his eye.
He tilted his head slightly, studying the way you expertly applied the shade, his lips quirking into that signature, easy smile. “You’re looking a little... dangerous there,” he teased, watching you in the mirror as you caught his eye.
“Dangerous?” you repeated, raising an eyebrow as you turned to face him. “Why, because of the lipstick?”
“Absolutely,” Romance said, sitting up now, his gaze becoming more playful. “That shade’s bold. It’s a little... seductive.”
You chuckled, twirling the lipstick in your fingers, a sudden idea hitting you. "Well, if you think it's so bold, maybe you should test it out."
Romance raised an eyebrow, clearly intrigued. “Test it out how? You want me to judge your makeup skills?” He leaned back, his smirk growing wider. “Sounds like a very interesting challenge.”
“No,” you said, a sly grin forming on your face. “I want you to see if it’s kiss-proof.”
He sat up a little straighter, amused by your sudden confidence. “Kiss-proof?” he repeated with a low chuckle. “You mean, you want me to kiss you and see if your lipstick stays?”
You nodded, your eyes glinting with mischief. “Exactly.”
Romance looked at you for a moment, the playful spark in his eyes flickering with amusement. He took a deep breath as if considering the dare, then gave a slow, languid grin. “I like the way you think,” he said, his voice dropping to a flirtatious whisper. “But you know, testing it out doesn’t sound like a bad idea at all.”
He stood up casually, taking his time. His every movement was effortless, as if he was in complete control of the situation. The way he closed the distance between you felt like a slow dance. No rush. Just that confidence in every step.
You felt a small flutter in your chest, your heart picking up speed as he stood just in front of you. His hands slid into his pockets, his lips curving in that smooth, devil-may-care smile you’d come to recognize as his trademark.
“You sure you want to test this?” he asked, his voice smooth like velvet. “I mean... once I kiss you, there’s no turning back.”
You swallowed, trying to hold his gaze, your lips trembling slightly. “If it’s kiss-proof, then you’ll be just fine.”
Romance chuckled softly, his breath warm against your skin as he stepped even closer. “Oh, I’m always fine,” he said with a wink. His gaze lowered to your lips, and his eyes darkened with that familiar, flirty intensity. “But if you think it’s kiss-proof... well, we’re about to find out.”
Before you could say anything else, he closed the gap, pressing his lips to yours with a soft but deliberate kiss.
It wasn’t the kind of kiss that was rushed or fleeting. No, Romance was methodical. He took his time, as if savoring every second. His lips were warm, confident, and oh-so-smooth. The kiss deepened, slow and unhurried, his hands finally coming up to rest lightly on your waist. The feeling of his fingers on your skin made you forget everything—the lipstick, the dare, the world around you. All that mattered was the way he kissed you like he had all the time in the world.
When he finally pulled away, his grin was that same teasing, effortless smile. His eyes glinted with mischief, his gaze still lingering on your lips.
“You’re right,” he said, voice a little husky from the kiss. “Your lipstick’s definitely kiss-proof.”
You blinked, still a little breathless, trying to process the moment. But before you could respond, Romance leaned in again, this time brushing a soft kiss against the corner of your mouth.
"Of course, if you really wanted to test it properly," he added, his lips grazing your ear, his breath warm, “I’d be happy to do this all over again.”
Your heart skipped a beat as you pulled back, meeting his gaze. There was no mistake about it—Romance was dangerousin the best possible way. Every move, every word, was calculated to drive you wild.
“Well, I’ll keep that in mind,” you said, trying to sound casual, even though your pulse was racing.
Romance gave a wink, his smirk never fading. “Don’t worry,” he said, stepping back and turning toward the kitchen. “I’ll be here whenever you’re ready for another round.”
As he walked away, you stood there, still feeling the lingering warmth of his lips on yours, your fingers lightly touching your lips.
The lipstick might’ve been kiss-proof, but now, all you could think about was whether you were ready for whatever Romance would do next.
Mystery
The room was dimly lit, the atmosphere quiet, save for the low hum of the city outside the window. Mystery sat at the desk, his back straight, eyes focused on his laptop as he worked—silent, distant, and entirely absorbed in whatever task lay in front of him. He always had this presence about him, a calm, almost cold aura that made it impossible for anyone to disturb his focus.
You, on the other hand, were sitting on the edge of the couch, trying to figure out how to approach him without disrupting the tension in the air.
You had just bought a new lipstick—deep, dark, and dangerously bold. It was the kind of color that could make a statement without even trying. The only problem? You weren’t sure if it was truly kiss-proof.
You’d been staring at it for a while, contemplating whether you should test it out. And as you watched Mystery from across the room, something in you decided it was time.
You stood up, walking toward him with quiet footsteps. There was something about the way he sat, so still, so perfectly composed that made you feel small in comparison. He didn’t acknowledge your presence as you came closer, his focus entirely on the screen in front of him.
“Mystery,” you said softly, your voice gentle but unsure.
He didn’t look up, his fingers still moving over the keys. “Hmm?” His voice was calm, distant.
“I just… I need your help with something,” you murmured, shifting nervously on your feet.
His eyes flicked up briefly, his gaze cool and steady as he observed you. His silence felt like an invitation, but one that didn’t promise anything.
You took a deep breath. There was no turning back now.
“Can you... test something for me?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper. The words felt almost ridiculous coming out of your mouth, but you had to go through with it.
He tilted his head slightly, but he didn’t speak. His expression remained unreadable, almost too calm, but his attention was now fully on you.
“What exactly am I testing?” he asked, his tone as controlled as always, as if he were reviewing some impersonal report.
Without responding, you leaned forward, pressing your lips to his—just a soft, brief kiss. It was a test, pure and simple. You pulled back immediately, holding your breath, waiting for some kind of reaction.
For a long moment, Mystery didn’t say anything. His expression remained as composed as before, his dark eyes boring into yours. There was something almost unnerving about the way he studied you—like he was trying to decipher some hidden meaning in your action.
You felt your heart race in the silence, your cheeks warming, unsure of what to say next. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, he spoke, his voice as calm as ever.
“You wanted to test your lipstick.”
His words were not a question, just a simple statement of fact.
“Y-Yeah,” you stammered, your pulse quickening. “Is it... kiss-proof?” You almost sounded nervous, though you weren’t sure why. The kiss had been quick, and yet the tension in the room felt thick, like something was hanging in the air between you two.
He regarded you for a moment, his lips barely twitching at the corners, as if he were considering his response carefully. “It’s still intact,” he said, his gaze flickering down to your lips for just a moment before meeting your eyes again. “It’s... effective.”
You swallowed, suddenly feeling even more exposed. The way he said it, the way his voice didn’t change, didn’t warm or soften, made your heart beat faster in an unexpected way. There was no excitement, no hint of teasing or playfulness. Mystery simply observed, like he was gathering data on your every movement.
He didn’t say anything else, but his eyes didn’t leave yours. It was as if he were waiting for you to make the next move, but also daring you to—daring you to break the cold silence that had settled between you.
You cleared your throat, trying to shake the feeling that he was somehow reading you in ways you didn’t fully understand. “Okay, well, thank you for… helping.”
He didn’t acknowledge the words. Instead, he slowly stood up, closing his laptop with a quiet click. The movement was smooth, effortless, as though his whole life had been nothing but calm precision. As he passed you, he paused just for a moment, standing close enough for you to feel the faintest shift in the air, his presence like a magnet pulling you in.
He glanced down at you, his eyes almost... too calm. “If you wanted to test it again,” he said, his voice almost imperceptibly lowering, “you could’ve just asked.”
The words were simple, but they hung in the air, thick with a subtle weight that made your stomach flip. You wanted to say something, anything, but the moment passed as quickly as it had come. Without another word, he turned and walked past you, his movements measured, deliberate.
You stood there, still feeling the lingering tension in the room, unsure of what had just happened. You had tested the lipstick, yes—but in the process, you had unknowingly tested something far more dangerous: Mystery’s ability to leave you feeling unbalanced without ever changing his composed, emotionless demeanor.
And maybe that was exactly what made him so... captivating.
Baby
The room was quiet except for the soft clicking of your phone screen, the light of the evening casting a gentle glow through the windows. Baby was sprawled across the couch, wearing a pair of sunglasses that he had refused to take off even though the sun had long since set. He was trying so hard to keep up that cool, untouchable vibe, but anyone who knew him could see through it.
You glanced over at him, smirking slightly. His arms were crossed over his chest, and his gaze was fixed firmly ahead, as if he were looking at something far away. In reality, he was probably daydreaming or… just trying to look mysterious.
You, on the other hand, were sitting at the other end of the couch, a new lipstick in hand—bold, striking red. You had been playing with it for a while now, swiping it on and off, unsure whether it was really kiss-proof.
After a moment of contemplation, you stood up, walking toward Baby with your best mischievous grin.
He didn’t even glance at you, keeping his cool act intact. “What’s up?” he asked, his voice sounding detached, but you could tell from the slight shift of his eyes that he was paying attention.
“I’m doing a little test,” you said, trying to sound casual, but your grin was impossible to hide.
“Test?” he repeated, that tone of feigned indifference making you roll your eyes. “What kind of test?”
You didn’t answer immediately. Instead, you leaned down, close enough to him that you could feel his body heat radiating from his cool, distant stance. Baby stiffened just a little, but he didn’t say anything.
Without further warning, you leaned in and planted a quick kiss on his cheek—just a soft peck, but enough to leave your lipstick mark behind.
You pulled back immediately, watching for his reaction. The cool front he was trying to maintain faltered for a brief second, his eyes widening ever so slightly. But then, as if nothing had happened, he put on that “too cool for this” smirk, sitting up straighter.
“You really know how to test lipstick, huh?” he said, his voice a little less casual than before.
You couldn’t help but laugh, the sound of it a little too loud for the mood he was trying to create. “It was just a quick test to see if it’s kiss-proof. You know, just for fun.”
His face flushed just a little, and his hands shifted as though he were trying to look like he wasn’t flustered. “Uh-huh. So you thought you’d test it on me?”
You nodded, biting your lip as you looked at him. “Yep. You’re the perfect test subject.”
Baby’s eyes narrowed for a moment, and he stood up quickly, the sunglasses still firmly perched on his face. “Well, I’m not your test dummy. If you’re testing it, you should’ve gotten a real reaction.” He flashed a grin that was just a little too wide, a little too confident to be believable. “I’m cool like that. You know, I’m... way too chill for these kinds of things.”
Before you could even respond, Baby moved towards you, quickly closing the distance between you two. Without any warning, he bent down and kissed you—briefly but with purpose, pressing his lips firmly against yours.
You froze for a moment, utterly caught off guard. You’d kissed him once before, but this felt different. His lips were warm, confident, and even though he was trying to maintain that nonchalant vibe, you could feel the hint of warmth he wasn’t hiding as much as he thought.
When he pulled away, he smirked at you, completely unfazed, sunglasses still in place. “There. Now you’ve got a real test.”
You were left standing there, your heart suddenly thumping in your chest, your lips tingling. "I—" You blinked a few times, trying to steady yourself. "That was... that was the test?"
He nodded, as if it were the most normal thing in the world. "Yeah. Now we both know it’s kiss-proof. You didn’t need to go all science project on me for that."
You couldn’t stop the laugh that bubbled up from your chest. “You really try to act like you’re cool, don’t you?”
His smile faltered for a second, just a flash of vulnerability crossing his face before he regained his composure. “What? I am cool,” he said, voice almost defensive, but it was more charming than anything.
You shook your head, teasing. “Yeah, sure. The sunglasses at night definitely help your case.”
He chuckled, his usual confident grin returning. “Whatever. I’m still cooler than you.”
You leaned in, raising an eyebrow. “Is that so? Because I’m pretty sure I’m the one who got the test result I was looking for.”
Baby laughed, finally taking off his sunglasses and tossing them casually on the couch. His eyes softened a bit, that secret sunshine you knew so well finally slipping through the cracks of his "cool" persona.
“Alright, you got me. I guess you can call it a win,” he admitted, the cocky smile still on his face, but now, it had that warmth to it that was uniquely him.
You couldn’t help but smile back. "It’s a win for both of us."
And, even though Baby would never admit it, the real test wasn’t just about whether the lipstick stayed—it was seeing how long he could keep that cool, untouchable exterior in the face of your undeniable charm.
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a/n: hope you enjoy this!! I also have a question, do you guys prefer these names? Or would you rather I use their “actual” names? Idk it feels funny writing about ‘Abs’😭
#jinu x reader#jinu kpdh#saja boys jinu#jinu#saja boys#kpop demon hunters#kpdh#saja boys jinu x reader#saja boys x reader#mystery x reader#saja boys mystery x reader#romance x reader#saja boys romance x reader#baby x reader#saja boys baby x reader#abs x reader#saja boys abs x reader#abs saja#mystery saja#romance saja#baby saja
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