#Hygiene Demo

[nonymous-nb]

•────~❉᯽❉~───────────────•

Griefer x Reader

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"Hit y4 with th3 punk t4ctics!"

Blocktales | Headcanons | Romantic | Fluff.

Warning/s: { none }

Extra: { play demo 2 or get spoiled 🔫 }

»✎ Dating this stinky dirty man boy man.. is like dating a dang rapid Chihuahua bro, if you're very, VERY patient.. slay girly pop queen

»✎ He's definitely the yapper and the loser in the relationship

»✎ The first time you went into this guy's room.. holy smith you want to GRRRRAAAAAAH. Y'all ended up cleaning don't worry (you did most of the work)

»✎ You need to teach him some hygiene while you're at it btw

»✎ He has.. special ways to make you a nickname, but he mostly likes calling you "b4be", "m1ne", "punk but b3tter" and "id1ot"

»✎ To be honest, you even sometimes wonder how you ended up loving this lil piece of shet when all he does is bark straight insults onto your face whenever he's close to losing to you in games or a training combat and then later flop himself onto your arms for cuddles and attention.

»✎ His excuses for wanting physical contact and words of affirmation from you are lame</3

»✎ Please do not compliment this guy, it boosts his ego and pride A LOT. He doesn't show it though, but he's very giddy and definitely gonna tell *yap* his pet gorilla later

»✎ He also puts your MCraft beds together whenever y'all play MCraft, he also tries to manipulate you into thinking that you were the one who put it and not him (will definitely stare at you with a gaping mouth and a hint of sadness in his eyes when you remove your bed and place it one block away from his, dang even in game he wants to be close)

»✎ This guy doesn't like it when you compliment others even if it's platonic, it's a nuh uh. he's just jealous and wants you all for himself lmao

»✎ He's definitely the one who brags about you to people he's close with, yet also not too big on PDA as he gets really embarrassed as he wants to be seen as a "bad guy". He does yap to his dad about you and Mayor Thaniyel couldn't wait to meet you after he saw and hear how his son always talks about you.

»✎ His dad loves, LOVES you very much, he thinks you're a great partner for his son. Brad sometimes has to pull his dad away whenever you're with him and his dad due to his father "embarrassing" him in front of you. Mayor Thaniyel was just telling you how much his son loves you and that he worries that you're getting annoyed with his remarks</3

»✎ After dinner time and Brad had to go to the kitchen to get some water, (after some small tantrums that died down due to him thinking he embarrassed himself infront of you) Mayor Thaniyel couldn't help but thanked you a lot for FINALLY ending his son's "little" dirty hygiene and some of his spoiled moments, he knew he spoils his son a "little" too much, but hey, at least you're there to change it due to his son's unending admiration towards you

»✎ That doesn't stop Brad/Gr13f3r to make you spoil him even though he can get stuffs himself, he just feels extra better when it came from you. He definitely bankrupts you and hides a snicker when you're low on Tix.. next day you saw Brad/Gr13f3r with a whole box of cola and cakes. You banned him from games after<3

»✎ He gave you a cake and a cola as an apology

»✎ Dw he spoils you back with his dad's wallet LMAO + he got banned from his gadgets by his father (with you present ofc)

»✎ He also makes you feed the cake to him like a child, but later on denies that he likes it and tells you that he was just "l4zy" and "bu5y" playing on his phone. Bro's the living opposite day

»✎ Home-made meals are a MUST with this guy if you can cook, bro adores home-made cooking, he thinks it's really special / if you can't cook, just buy this dude some foods that you think he might like and he's all yours either way.. bonus points if there's a dessert

»✎ The gorilla definitely favors you/j (cue on pouting/grumpy Brad/Gr13f3r)

»✎ Did I mention that Brad/Gr13f3r is your personal bodyguard? No? Now I did, if someone messes with you, the person gets a hard bonk on the head with his crowbar. You wonder how the person is still alive after that critical hit

»✎ Wait, you have bullies? They're on your doorstep while on their knees begging for forgiveness with a smug Brad/Gr13f3r behind em looking innocent as if he didn't do anything

»✎ Praise him and tell him how considerate he is after that and he's on his knees for you, literally

»✎ If this guy is with you on your adventures, he doesn't let you fight, he does all the work and maaaybe expects a praise or two

»✎ Do absolutely NOT tell this guy about skibidi toilet. It'll be your demise.

»✎ Now back to physical contact, this dude cannot kiss nor does he have any confidence/courage to initiate it first, he does try so give him some credits</3

»✎ But if it were just the two of you.. a lil quick peck on the cheek, that he can do

»✎ Overall 11/10 because he gets flustered easily and a lovable loser

{ where are the blocktales fics at bro :sob: }

[transmutationisms]

historical writing followup anon here. ackk i thought the link got pasted but it mustve gotten sucked into the void. i was referring to this ^^ https://www.tumblr.com/transmutationisms/777831995879374848/

oh my god i literally meant to circle back to that like a month ago. my drafts are where posts go to die.

yeas for anyone who cares & missed it—the question was for any historical texts that have influenced how i think about the formal practice of writing history, and/or that are simply enjoyable reads on a mechanical prose level. i'm listing in no particular order, & with more of a focus on style & general methodological orientation over the substance of the arguments. also these are probably all going to be in history of science/medicine but that's rly just because those are texts i've spent a lot of time with lol.

ill composed: sickness, gender, and belief in early modern england by olivia weisser -- primary sources here are largely personal writings: journals, business records, marginalia, she spent a LOT of time combing archives here and it allows her to really straddle the line between history of medicine and history of affect/emotions, which is not typically a topic i find treated this persuasively

doctoring traditions: ayurveda, small technologies, and braided sciences by projit bihari mukharji -- loved this on a prose level, and is also a useful demo of how histories can look once we move past the unidirectional basalla-style model of colonial knowledge dissemination & deal with eg the interests of these upper-caste colonial administrators in the creation & defence of an 'ayurvedic tradition'

medicalizing blackness: making racial difference in the atlantic world, 1780–1840 by rana hogarth -- both the periodisation and the geographic delineation are very very strongly chosen here, she brings together a number of atlantic-world episodes often treated in isolation from one another. treats each in its specificity but succeeds in pulling from the aggregate a strong analysis of the overarching concept (antiblackness; the creation of race via medical science) that she's after

baron de vastey and the origins of black atlantic humanism by marlene daut -- brought me back to seeing how close literary textual analysis can be historicised / integrated into historical analysis productively, after several years of mostly trying to curb my impulse toward the former

victorian sensation: the extraordinary publication, reception, and secret authorship of vestiges and of the natural history of creation by james secord -- classic of history of the book, history of readership / popular audiences, &c

the fall of robespierre: 24 hours in revolutionary paris by colin jones -- i found this boring & its specific topic means it's not really beating the great man allegations but it did certainly get me thinking about how we narrativise/periodise in history, and why

the physician-legislators of france: medicine and politics in the early third republic, 1870–1914 by jack ellis -- prosopography is hard to write and usually kind of boring to read but the payoff is worth it i fear

ideals of the body: architecture, urbanism, and hygiene in postrevolutionary paris by sun-young park -- working in traditions of urban history, architectural history, anthropology à la rabinow, really gorgeous granular analysis of the creation & design of the actual physical spaces comprising a city. esp shines where she treats pedagogical institutions, incl paris deaf-blind institutes

mining language: racial thinking, indigenous knowledge, & colonial metallurgy in the early modern iberian world by allison bigelow -- super super fun & fruitful moves here bringing together discourse analysis, history of the book, economic history, and history of technology in colonial mining & the creation & circulation of knowledge in those colonial networks

engineers of happy land: technology and nationalism in a colony by rudolf mrázek -- i have issues with this book but stylistically it is really a pleasure & got me thinking a lot about how we write history & how style and ideology inform one another in that process. like if the arcades project was about colonial indonesia

what nostalgia was: war, empire, and the time of a deadly emotion by thomas dodman -- more people should spend half this effort on historicising 1) affects and 2) psychiatric descriptions of those affects. history is so fun when it's fun

the expressiveness of the body and the divergence of greek and chinese medicine by shigehisa kuriyama -- this is so so fun on a prose level in a way academic history rarely is. it's a comparative history, which in general i don't love, and is markedly much more detailed in the exposition of greek medicine than chinese

[the-teufort-nine]

hiii 😁 can we have your headcanons about how the mercs shower? (if they even do that) (yes sniper i'm looking at you)

Hell Yeah U Can

Scout~

Used to having very short showers, as a result of having eight older brothers.

Irish Spring believer.

Gets himself clean (bro sweats ALOT so this is a must) but doesn't do any extra pampering.

If he has to shave at all, this is probably when he does it.

Spends most of the time after flexing in the mirror.

Actually has an INSANE skincare routine. Shares this with Medic and only Medic (he is the only one who has asked)

Soldier~

Sings in the shower, but like, it's almost always the national anthem.

Or Dolly Parton

Uses very basic shampoo, probaby unscented, along with plain soap.

DOES WASH THO. Poor hygiene is how the enemy wins!

Very comfortable with communal showering.

Doesn't believe in shaving anything but his beard.

The happy trail on this man is probably insane.

Pyro~

Don't even bother trying to catch them showering. You'll never do it.

Demo~

Uses some NICE soap.

Bro smells like fresh laundry or pine trees when he gets out of the shower.

Has to remind himself to actually do it though. There have been many times where he'll neglect his needs in favour of tinkering with his bombs or drinking.

Has fallen asleep in the shower before.

If he's drunk enough, and Soldier's singing something he knows, he'll join in.

Heavy~

Longest shower taker. This is his downtime, and you better not interrupt.

Likes baths too, but doesn't often get the opportunity.

Always consistent with showering. Will NOT tolerate being gross for too long.

Gets super pissed if someone uses all the hot water before he gets a chance to shower.

Likes to shower early in the morning, or right before bed.

Engineer~

Average shower length, but leans towards the longer side when he can.

Usually washes with something that gives off warm vibes, like cedarwood, apples and cinnamon, or honey.

Shaves sometimes, but usually lets his hair grow out quite a bit before he trims it back.

Showers at the weirdest times. 3 AM shower time babey!

Like Demo, he can get into the bad habit of putting off showering if he's too engrossed in his work.

Likes to shower in private, but not opposed to communal showers.

Spy~

Shower? Shower? No, absolutely not. This man is having the nicest baths. Everyday, if he can.

Imported goat milk soap, epsom salts, bath bombs, ect.

Like father like son, Spy is a skincare king.

Smells like vanilla usually.

Get's very irritable if he can't, at the very least, wash everyday.

He will shower, but only if there is no other option.

Probably lounges in a silk robe afterwards.

Sniper~

Stimnky bushman.

Showers, but it's like bathing a hairless cat.

Tolerates the water just enough to not smell.

And he will start to smell if he doesn't get sprayed down.

Shakes himself like a dog when he gets out.

Has a bottle of dry shampoo in his van.

Uses whatevers around to wash with, so what he smells like depends on who left what out.

Or he uses this:

Probably air dries on his bed or on top of his camper instead of toweling off.

Medic~

Likes baths and showers equally.

Showers are for when he's covered in gore and sand and just wants to get clean.

Baths are for when he wants to relax and not deal with his beloved idiotic teammates blowing themselves up for five minutes.

Also has expensive soap.

Smells like lemon or mint. Very sharp, clean smells.

Has to be careful not to let his doves sneak in because they like to sit under the water with him, but he cranks the heat alllll the way up so its not safe for them.

Listens to music whenever he can.

[k4czka]

Hi :)

Can you tell about your tf2 Soldier headcanons? :)

TF2 Soldier Headcanons!

"If fighting is sure to result in victory, Then you must fight!"

Here's some Headcanons about Soldier/Mister Jane Doe!

-----

•Cannot cook anything apart from campfire food, Makes a mean s'more.

•Crooked teeth/Poor dental hygiene. "THERE ARE MORE IMPORTANT THINGS THAN TEETH! LIKE PROTECTING OUR GREAT NATION!"

•Shoes are VERY worn and broken. But he keeps using cheap glue to hold them together.

•ATLEAST ONE tattoo of the U.S flag somewhere on him.

•Unlike Blue soldier and Red Demo being Good friends, Red soldier and Blue Demo despise eachother.

[wisteriagoesvroom]

*gently pokes you with a stick til you write this*

Is there a plot, or just vibes... like what is going on in this universe... okay... *rolls sleeves up* lemme try to headcanon it a little:

Oscar is a rising star in product engineering, and was hired based on a prototype he was developing in his Imperial College dorm room. Barely settled into his new office gig, he is told to present a demo of said product on the mainstage of his tech company employer's next big conference, where they announce their latest product rollouts for the year.

Oscar really hates public speaking, and has never been very good at it. Enter Lando - deputy head of marketing and charmboy extraordinnaire - who is assigned to get him up to scratch.

Other universe details that probably only I care about: Adam Norris is the new CFO who brings his son into the picture. There are definitely two overworked interns on both their teams who have to manage all their weird quirks and Lando's idiosyncratic JIRA board hygiene. Surely there must be an ugly conference t-shirt. No wait– Oscar sleeps with Lando at the conference rehearsal, but the first time is kinda unexpected, and also Oscar spilled red wine on himself the previous night which necessitated him going up to Lando's hotel room for Plot Convenient Reasons (sex). Morning after, Oscar has to borrow one of Lando's t shirts and it ends up being a neon prototype that was manufactured as an error. And Oscar's like "you cannot expect me to walk out like this", and it's like. "Well either that or you walk around the city shirtless sorry mate." (Oscar takes the L, but he really hates green highlighters from that point on and nobody really knows why. Lando thinks it's hilarious and buys him copious amounts of hot chocolate to make up for it even though it was never his fault. He just likes buying hot chocolate for Oscar.)

There is also definitely an icebreaking joint activity that they both do, like indoor rock climbing, in order to get to know each other. Except Lando is like, spectacularly good at it, and Oscar (a) lies about his competency in rock climbing (b) is deathly afraid of heights. But Oscar refuses to be a wimp so doesn't say a single thing until he reaches the top of a really challenging wall and Lando is like: woah you did so amazing! Now let go and come down! and Oscar is like: I can't! Lando: wdym?? Oscar: I hate heights. Like "my sisters used to lure me to the roof with a ladder and then take the ladder away", hate heights. Lando: BRO.....your PRIDE.... (but he's also secretly going insane because Oscar clearly just wanted an excuse to spend the morning with him.)

Their first kiss is after Lando belays Oscar safely to the ground, obviously. Adrenalin, and stuff.

[d3lta-200x]

Late night sleepover DEMO

character[s]: Lex Luthor, ambiguous male reader

Word count: 614 so far

male reader

Overview: reader and Lex have been together for a couple of months and it's readers first time round Lex's house, the reader originally thought he was at the wrong place. Reader finding out he is the Lex Luthor and lex decideds to show the reader what level he should be treated at while dating him. Reader is a little oblivious and also has plushies.

**** Used as a replacement for y/n

A/N: apologies for not posting anything in like a week but stories take forever for me to write so i am going to post a little bit for now. might make a tag list so if you wanna be tagged for Lex lmk. first time writing a proper full story in ages so apologies if it's a little bit bad. could be read as any Lex Luthor but written with 2025 superman ver in mind

· · ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── · · ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── · ·

It had been 3 months and a half since **** and Lex started dating.

This morning at 9 AM Lex sent **** a message asking if he wanted to stay over at his for the first time after he had stayed over at ****'s place a couple times, he also told him he'd send someone to pick him up and that all he needs is already at his, apart from basic hygiene items and any plushies he wanted to bring.

Now **** was pacing in excitement and a little bit of fear and anxiety, he had never been to Lex's home he didn't know what to expect, and what did Lex mean by sending someone to get him?

**** Got all his stuff ready and put them by his front door, including his favourite plushie [plushie name]. He genuinely couldn't wait. Lex also didn't specify a time which wasn't like him. He's normally so organised and prepared. So that means it could have been a spur of the moment thing, that also was unlike Lex.

Before **** knew it Lex had sent him a message at 6:30 to say the person picking him up will be there in up to half an hour and that he is sorry about not texting earlier because he was busy. He also said look out for a blacked out Bentley. Now if **** wasn't questioning things before he definitely was now.

Luckily **** decided to take a shower and everything earlier and not procrastinate because he wouldn't have enough time to do all that with how little time he had left. **** Nerves were kicking in even more so he decided to walk to the kitchen to get a glass of water to calm himself down. He was getting lost in thought as he took sips of his water. His mind couldn't get over all the information he had been told today. He knew Lex had at least a little bit of money because of the first date they went on was at a posh high end restaurant, but he had enough money for a Bentley on top of the dark green Hellcat he has seen Lex drive a couple times before.

**** Had been so lost in thought that he didn't hear the first knock at the door, however the second knock was louder and more aggressive. He walked over to the door, his nerves picking back up. As he opened the door he was met with a fairly tall man that looked a little like the agent from the matrix just hopefully not as evil and all seeing.

"**** I am here on behalf of Lex to take you to his apartment."

"Yeah, hold on let me get me stuff."

**** Picked up all his things from by the door and patted his pockets down making sure he had his wallet, keys and phone before he exited closing and locking up behind him.

"Ready."

The agent walked off towards the exit of the building and to the car parked outside. he stood at the car waiting for **** to get to the car, once there the agent opened the back door to allow **** to get into the back. once in the Bentley the agent got in the drivers seat and waited for him to be comfortable in the back.

the drive to Lex's apartment was quiet, luckily **** had his head/earphones on him so he put some music on to make the silence less awkward. **** had no idea how long was left of the car ride but with the way it was right now he hoped it wasn't too long.

-END OF DEMO-

· · ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── · · ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── · ·

[bingusmode]

Tunnel of Love

Blue Pyro x Female Reader

AN: your class name is Vet short for Veterinarian

Pyro had a problem, he had a massive choice to make, a choice that would change everything.

He had sat Spy down and held up two identical flame resiatant suits. As if he was asking which one Spy thought looked better.

Sniper looked on, taking a sip of his coffee.

“I don’t get it, they look the exact same”

Heavy shurgged, turning a page in his novel

“To you, but maybe is different for Pyro”

Spy took a drag of his cigarette, looking at the suits with a critical eye. He gestured to the right one

“I personally prefer the two inch inseam with the cleaner hemlines”

Pyro nodded before rushing back to his quarters, eager to take Spys advice.

Sniper handed him a cup of black coffee.

“Was there actually a difference?”

“Of course not, every suit he has is identical, but he wouldn’t leave me alone unless I told him something”

“Odd bloke that one,”

Pyro had always been odd, but the past few weeks, it was really taken up a notch. He had slowly started taking some of the mercs personal hygiene items.

A razor from Demoman, a comb from Sniper, Cologne from Spy, the list went on. While it was strange, the team didn’t think much of it.

Spy handed Sniper a spare cigarette,

“I am all for our firebig friend improving his apperance, whatever that might be”

“What's the use of improving it if we don’t see it?”

Heavy shrugged

“Self confidence?”

But Pyro had a reason, and it was located on the Red Team.

Vet was holding up a pretty good fight, getting to the injured Medic couldn’t. She tossed a med pack at Engineer before going to check on Demoman, carefully avoiding sentries and open sniper spots where she could. She ran into the tunnels, switching on her flashlight.

“Demo?”

She had seen him run in, chasing someone into the tunnels. As Vet went further, she could smell something absolutely foreboding. Smoke.

Vet clicked off her flashlight and immediately turned to get out of the tunnels as quickly as she could.

A thick, gloved hand stopped her from doing so. She didn’t want to look, she really didn’t, she didn’t want to look into the black eye holes of the Blue Pyros mask.

She stood still, waiting for the unbearable heat that came from his flamethrower, but it never came. Vet slowly turned to face him, still waiting for the final blow.

It never came, Pyro cocked his head to the side as if to ask her what was wrong.

“...hi?”

His demenor changed, suddenly elated that she was talking to him. Pyro started to gently pull further into the tunnels, Vet went along. If this is what kept her from burning to death, then she would take it.

As they got deeper, she could see the small, flickering light of candles. Pyro led her to an open area, a blanket laid down on the ground and candles providing light in their dark surroundings. Vet could spot the man-sized lump wrapped in a tarp and shoved to the farthest wall. She knew it was Demo, it was an awful sight but at least he was covered.

Pyro had her sit down on the blanket, holding both hands out to tell her to stay put. Vet did as she was told, fear making a home in the pit of her chest. He came trotting back with a basket filled with MannCo sponsored goods. Vet was stunned, it was filled with jams, dried fruit, and even small chocolate bars. These goods only came once in a blue moon, it would have taken him months to collect all these. Pyro shoved the basket in Vets arms and sat down across from her, gauging her reaction.

“You- you got me these?”

Pyro nodded eagerly and clapped his hands.

“I don’t know what to say,”

She really didn’t. Sure, she had noticed that Pyro never targeted her on the field, but she had assumed that she wasn’t a threat to him. So he never bothered to track her down, but this? This was a confession.

“I’m sorry, I don’t have anything for you, I didn’t know-”

Vet spotted a rip in his suit, exposing charred skin. Demoman must have done some damage before he met his end.

“But I can help with that, let me see your arm”

Pyro was all too happy to thrust his arm over to her, nearly vibrating with excitement. Vet pulled out her supplies and got to work treating the near 3rd degree burn.

“You didn’t feel this?”

Pyro shook his head, followed by a shrug.

“I guess you’ve become numb to it, handling fire like you do”

She treated him like he was glass, careful to not irritate the surrounding scarred skin.

“You should really see your Medic for this, my work won’t last you long”

He looked fascinated at the bandaging she had done, like it was the most precious gift he had ever recieved.

“I wish I could give you more but…but maybe next time?”

Vet couldn’t believe what she just said, did she really just sign herself up for this again? Had she officially lost it?

Pyros head snapped up and starting clapping again with glee.

“Okay, we can do that…without any burnt bodies though”

Pyro nodded and crossed his heart with his finger, making a promise.

At this point, Vet had been gone for awhile, she didn’t know where her team stood in the match. Pyro didn’t seem bothered, but they couldn’t stay there forever.

“Pyro, this has been fun, but we should get back. Our teams need us,”

His shoulders slumped forward but he nodded anyway. Standing up and holding his hand out to help her up. Vet took it, taking note that he was being extra gentle with her.

Pyro never let go over her hand, leading her out the tunnels with ease. When they got to the entrance, he hesitated to let her go

“It’s okay, like I told you, we can do this again,”

This seemed to put him at ease, before he let go. Pyro pressed his mask to Vets cheek before running back down the tunnels. Leaving Vet perplexed and with a basket full of goods. Her cheeks were burning red after his “kiss”. Vet wasn’t exactly sure what happened, but she would be prepared with gifts and treats for next time.

After the battle was over and each time went to recover from their wounds. Blue team watched as their Pyro looked through a book about flower meanings.

Scout look shocked

“I didn’t know he could read-“

Sniper elbowed him

“If it keeps him busy and away from fire, then shut it.”

They could talk all they wanted but Pyro didn’t care. He had a second date with the cutest girl in the world, and he hoped it would lead to many more.

[b3dheads]

Introducing SuperNova!

starring Johnny & Erik starting the dynamic duo before creating BedHeads with Jordan.

SuperNova Lore Dump:

Before SuperNova was posting demo’s and playing under the curtains, Johnny & Erik were rivals with each other.. and practically enemies in highschool.

They first had taken notice of each other when Erik had fallen into a spiral that led him to a failed/Credit Recovery class. Johnny had already been to this class one too many times and was claimed to be one of the sketchy assholes there. They both were at the end of the ropes and there wasn’t a seat left for Erik to fill. Johnny kept ditching to try and steal something else or take a smoke out of campus. Though Erik wasn’t such a hotshot either, he often picked fights and had an ego with his “talent” in guitar. With an empty seat available, their teacher gave Erik Johnny’s seat. Coming back and seeing the new impostor in his seat; he threw a fit while started a fight with Erik once he talked back… probably something about his hair, his hygiene, or himself entirely.

Once they were pulled apart from each other, The teacher had forced the two to share the seat and work at the same desk. Thus started a path of brothership between the two from the interest in each others lives and music, thus creating the story of SuperNova.

Johnny first suggested a name when talking about some junk car he had around his trailer park home over a meal at some rundown diner, and Erik chimed in on wanting to see it. After heading over to string lights and the smell of rusted dirt and scrap, they hung out around Johnny’s old folk’s home before deciding to teach johnny the basics of guitar… not like Erik knew anything more than the basics anyway. They played like shit but hey it was fun for them.

I’ll post more on their individual lives and in depth analysis, this is still very surface level and still got so much to unpack of these guys, love them so MUUCH

[marabarl-and-marlbara]

There is a new demo of peri, i've played a bit of it before telling you, because i wanted to see if the environment changed a bit, it has, however there may still be weird areas you can get stuck in, i apologize if i mistyped anything in this, I went to your actual tumblr, and the background text is making me feel silly...

hi anonymous; i saw it last night & played it this morning (the trailer made me want to play it again & i wanted to use my new mouse, since i have a mouse again) -- beat the tutorial and sold the guy out to the polska elites; the level design still drives me crazy; i like the polska desk clerk.

don:t know why you:re apologizing to me, but this was a good reminder to update my tumblr page, had completely forgotten there was an "about me" section that were way too old (sort-of a relic of myself + bad hygiene back from the turb comics that i can:t stand to see/look at);

anyways, take care anonymous; have a nice morning

[bajajmachines]

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[uwuowotf2waslife]

What if Medic taught the team sex ed because he found out that someone has an STI and the mercs later either follow his advice or completely ignore it + Medic educating reader on safe sex on practice

The reason I came up with this is that I'm really stupid so I got thrush. I'm so fucking embarrassed, I'm a grown ass woman but I somehow did my hygiene incorrectly and I'm itchy down there and it burns to pee. I'm making an appointment with a gynecologist as I write this so I should be fine

Love your writing, acceptance of horny and your chill. Best wishes to you and sorry for shitty English

Dw frend your english is ✨✨✨✨

Also get well soon <3 it happens to the best of us

Tw: Sex mention/STD mention

In this case: Spy (fuckboy) got trush and Medic had a mild stroke when finding out only 3/9 Mercs understand the concept of STDs

Medic: lecturer in the conference room used in ED. Has a small presentation of whats STIs are and how to avoid them.

“Zo az you zhee, thiz are the common STDs you may encounter during ehm…”

“During third base!” Pips Scout.

Visible confusion by all non english speaking members except Spy

“The boy means sex… speak like an adult sout.” Half muffled by a ciggarete.

“Doubt you can get a hard on, frenchman, just 10 secs ago sawbone said you loose your errectIon once you hit 60” scout goes for a low blow

“Your mother never complains, does she.” Spy snakes back for a lower blow.

“SAY IT AGAIN FUCKFACE AND YOULL HAVE A MUFFCABBAGE FOR A HEAD” scout tries to grab his pistol, forgets that he had to surrender it at the lockers for safety.

“SHUT UP BABYMEN! DOCTOR SAYS ITS IMPORTANT “ a russian roar cuts them both raw and leaves them hanging.

A shill sound cuts them all, now Medic using Archimedes claws to get them all to pay attention

“Danke mein Freund “. “Now I know thiz will be embarrassing but you are all very welcome to use the jar in the medbay, well you wish to… touczh third base” A true genious never lets new opportunities for a learning moment to fall.

“So the condom jar?” “Didnt yall ever used that till Spy got Thursh??!” Scout looks dumbfounded

“You dont really use protection when ya are a gentleman, mongrel!” Sniper visibly annoyed and flustered because in his non medical experience a quickie in a van isnt really prime time for proper sex ed usage.

“Snipes Sheep dont count!” Scout goes for the low hanging fruit.

Sniper roses up and looks anywhere for a weapon but decides his chair is prime

Untill he is stopped by heavy and is basically hogtied by a even taller and burlier man

“Next will be in Locker” simple threat but working.

“Dankeshone Fruende… but yes I expect you all to use them. We cant have a czeafire because you all have different sztrains of StDS reaking havoc.”…

“ Never seen you using one tho Sawbones” Again scout being a dumbass.

Soldier now fed up , stands up and salutes

“MEDIC AS AN AMERICAN I HAVE BEEN TAUGHT IN MY AMERICAN EDUCATION WHAT SEXUALY TRANSIMETED DISEASES ARE, BUT THIS HERE BASTARDS HAVE MADE THIS LESSON UNACCEPTABLE. PERMISSION TO STRANGLE SCOUT?”

“NO TALK BABYMAN!”

“What if ye just want yer dick sucked by a bird? Do ye also need a condom?” Demo awoken has to ask the most revelant question in the last hour and a half.

“YOU DO VAT TO BIRDS?” Medic officially snapped.

“Ya know, chicks” scout yells amidst being stangled

“Vat?”

“HE MEANS WOMEN YOU IDIOT” hogtied sniper yells

“JA YOU DUMBKOFF!”

Earie silence from Medic finnaly snapping.

“Do we also have to use it with dudes? Like is it any different?”scout is about to pass out.

Medic defeated

Spy horrified his son is bi ( boomer fainting)

“I mean same same but different so prolly yeah” answers him an amused Engie.

“Mhmmm mmh” Pyro says and leaves the building.

True mercenary chaos ensues with Spy accusing Scout from hiding shit from him while all the others have fights about who did what and why they didnt use a wrapper.

Case in point

They are all idiots.

[igotstuckinthevoidhelp]

Questions 30 to 40!

I don't have enough time to answer 816 quattuordecillion questions but I can do ten, the ones from 30 to 40

30. what’s one thing that never fails to make you happy/happier?

good food, silence, and cuddling, in that order

31. are you messy or organised?

both

32. how many tabs do you have open right now?

6.

33. any hobbies?

music (listening and playing, less so composing), D&D (and rpgs in general), linguistics (specifically conlanging), video games

34. any pet peeves?

a bunch, but I specifically get really annoyed by people smoking

35. do you trust easily?

depends on who the person is and what I have to trust them with

36. are you an open book or do you have walls up?

again, depends on the person really, but for the most part I try to isolate a bit

37. share a secret

I'd rather not, not publicly, they are dumb (just like me)

38. fave song at the moment?

there are a lot of those so have a couple I listen to a lot recently

Vektor - Tetrastructural Minds (specifically the 2006 demo version)

Gojira - The Axe

Fear Factory - Human Shields

Toxic - Shotgun Logic

Death - Flattening of Emotions

Sevish - Gleam

39. youtuber you’ve been obsessed with and why?

not quite an obsession, but I'm a fan of VSauce. I also like Andrea Boma Bocarusso's compilations and not Otzdarva for his content on my favourite game

40. any bad habits?

all of them lmao

my sleep schedule is in shambles, my hygiene sucks, my diet is awful, I can never get anything done, I am unable to properly interact with people and I'll probably suffer for all of this (already am suffering)

and also some other ones I'd rather not share publicly

[samxid]

Hey guys, I'm pretty sure this painting is haunted (SM64 Theory)

What a God awful thing to have in your basement. But let's wind back and talk about why this thing is so out of pocket.

So in Super Mario 64, we control Mario as he goes to princess peach's castle only to find out she has been kidnapped by Bowser, and he has hidden the 120 power stars in a bunch of paintings. The thing is, as the years have gone by, it has been pretty much implied that the castle from super Mario 64 is NOT princess peach's real castle, and it's instead it's just a private art gallery she has because OF COURSE SHE WOULD HAVE A WHOLE ASS CASTLE THE SIZE OF AN IKEA JUST FOR EFFING PAINTINGS ONLY SHE GETS TO SEE. In any case, most of these paintings have been turned to portals that lead to the places depicted inside of them, or something.

See, the thing about the game is that not only do some paintings send you to different worlds. Pretty much everything and anything can do that if Bowser's right testicle told him to do it at the time. What i mean by that is that there are a LOT of things that are not paintings, but still contain levels.

The first time we interact with such an instance is on "Bowser in the Dark World", where i shit you not, you fight Bowser in the Dark world.

pictured above: Mario gets canonically invis-walled. thanks nintendo.

This level is accessible by being swindled by a literal fucking painting, only to have the literal floor pulled from under you. This, as you might imagine, is not a painting, but rather a black void that somehow contains the level. Cool. What does this mean? let's keep looking at more examples and then schizo out come out with an explanation.

The next time we find something like this, depending on how you play the game, will be at either big boo's mansion, or at the water moat level. We might touch on those on a later post, but for now, let's just head to the basement and see just how non-painting centered the whole thing is.

So the first level you can access (besides lethal laval land) is a hidden level under the name "Shifting sand land."

You can make the argument that this level counts as a painting. And depending on who you ask, you might be correct. Slight issue, though.

Pictured above: The beautiful painting of shifting sand land, depicting all the people that have played this game and not punched air while trying to talk to toad. It might looked like a literal wall with nothing interesting, but that's because, save for the level it leads to, this wall is meant to look like any other wall.

The level is, in fact, not meant to look like a painting, but rather like a wall. This is because you are meant to chase mips around and dive into them, before accidentally face-planting into this wall, thus realizing it moves like a painting, and then going ' 0: ', because you just found a secret level.

In any case, this is a hint that this floor of the castle has an identity crisis and thinks it's cool to make everything levels. The next thing that is not a painting is this tech demo disguised as a subtle design element.

Pictured above: Mario jumps out of a septic tank like the turd he is. It's amazing how, despite jumping into human waste, he somehow comes out shinier than before. This has deep implications about Mario's personal hygiene.

Hazy maze cave is a weird fricking level that has you jump into something that looks like liquid mercury, has the same texture as the metal cap, and we all think is supposed to be a septic tank. This is because the room is surrounded by pipes, and the level itself contains both rolling rocks that have literally no explanation for existing (and only appear on this level, mind you), and it contains a whole maze filled with toxic gas that will kill Mario if you are either caught with low health courtesy of some real strong enemies, or are somehow stupid enough to just stand there and breath it in for too long (otherwise known as "being a game journalist").

In any case, we can laugh at the idea of funny feces on the funny nintendo game all we want, since it PROBABLY means nothing and it's not like we can schizo out find other similar things in the same floor, right?

Anyways, here's yet another similar thing in the same floor. If you are somehow skilled enough to play the game and get things done, you might eventually find yet another tech demo, this time colored blue to make it look like water.

Pictured above: Wait, what the fuck? that's not what the level looks like! the wiki got it wrong! can't a lazy fucker gamer™ steal source credible images anymore?? Where did they even found this? Fine! Let's me steal someone else's picture instead. I'm too lazy to get there on my own anyways. you need, like, 30 (thirty) stars, a rabbit, or a very snappy finger to get it, and i don't feel like dealing with that nonsense.

Pictured above: A picture of dire dire docks, proudly stolen from a nibirus gaming let's play without his consent, like, at all. Hi, nibirus! It's fine, youtubers don't have humans rights anyways, i think... or was that vtubers? meh. he speaks spanish, it's not like he could also happen to know english, or that we have the tools to translate stuff or anything.

ahem! This is dire dire docks. A level that only features a submarine dock on the last half of the level, and is not really dire under any metric. Why they named it that is beyond me. It's likely that this is supposed to represent the water supply of peaches castle, considering it's location near both the way out to the moat on the front of the castle, and of course, being right next to Bowser in the fire sea.

Picture above: Mario ponders what kind of hellish alternate reality he has wandered up in where the room containing both levels isn't the fancy schmancy room it normally is. You might say it's the game's personalization, but i think it's the guys at the wiki getting sloppy on their ploy to make SM64 look like a real game. YOU CAN'T FOOL US FOREVER! I KNOW IT'S JUST A REALLY, REALLY GOOD MOCK UP MADE IN PHOTOSHOP!

That is, the level named "Bowser in the fire sea". Why they named it that when it is not really a sea made of fire, but lava, and Bowser it's not really in the sea of lava is beyond me. It would have made sense to name it Bowser in the lava sea, or Bowser's super lava structure, or something. whatever. Anyways.

By looking at the little chimney thingy you have to jump into, we can infer that this actually part of the heating system, which would make sense to have in an art gallery, since paintings need special cares, including specific temperatures to avoid damage. It's also right next to the thing we established as the water supply, so it checks out.

Now, looking at all this, you might have noticed that there's something that sticks out like a sore thwomp. It's quite obvious that the castle's basement is supposed to be off limits to any and all visitors, and as such is kept under key so only authorized personnel can come to do repairs and such. Now, with this in mind, tell me, WHY THE F U C K IS THIS HERE?

Pictured above: Mario stands in the water of a flooded basement he was probably supposed to unflood. come to think of it, how come there's still water here even after you unflood the moat outside??

Like, hello?? this thing has a little stage to itself, two torches to keep it bright, and it's the only real painting in the whole basement! (fuck you shifting sand lands. more like shitting sand lands ammairait? jk, love you baby gurl ❤)

It's almost like it's meant to be unseen! like it was... vanished.

Think about it! The first floor of the castle (main entrance) seems to contain paintings of historical significance:

Bob-omb battlefield probably depicts some kind of big war that took place.

Cool cool mountain depicts a cool cool mountain... three times, so it's probably important.

Whomp's fortress has an enemy fortress or something of the kind.

Jolly roger bay has some kind of important port that used to have a big-ass ship on it. Not to mention they literally have a whole aquarium with live fishes next to the painting, so it's definitely important.

The room that has the trap probably is supposed to be a room containing all previous rulers of the mushroom kingdom, but Bowser probably fiddled with it to turn it into a trap, (which, by the way, in the old footage of the game, it was meant to cry out for Mario with peach's voice, which means that it was most definitely tampered with by Bowser even more heavily than all the other rooms)

and the room with the stained glasses also probably has some kind of other relevance under normal circumstances. Probably a secret escape route as some people theorize, though i think the way out to the moat through the basement seems to fit this use better, in my opinion.

Also, the top floor is most likely either the main attraction or something of the kind, since it has all the more eccentric exhibits, such as the mirror room, the tiny huge island room, and the clock room, which is yet another floor, mind you.

So, back to Lethal lava land, why the hell would that painting just be down here? as is? for no reason!? because it's haunted, or too scary to display. It probably gives peach the creeps, at the very least. I mean, hell, where would you even display that to begin with?

Seriously! this thing has a damn Mr. I in the level! those things are associated with haunted or cursed levels!

So yeah, i think this thing is haunted and was left down there to rot. never to see the light of day again. What do you think?

Credits to the mario wiki for the pictures and that one youtuber i stole that one picture from lmao.

Thanks for reading all these dumb words i wrote out. this was really eating me up inside. Also, i can't believe i spotted a mandela effect on those pics of BFS and DDD. By the way, my internet went out thrice while trying to post this, so you goddamn know how damn right i am about this.

[fayrobertsuk]

Well, yesterday on Voice Acting Auditions That Need a CW, I had my expectations of how people would demo what kind of voice they wanted for an audition completely thrown out of the window when I was asked to match the delivery and tone of [clicks YT link] MARGARET BLOODY THATCHER!

I feel unclean.

I went with my Cressida Voice in the end, though I did record a full-on Thatcher impersonation take, anytime you want to share my lack of mental hygiene.

[ennawaky]

"Então, Brenda para de escrever em seu diário, ela sempre escrevia quanto tinha tempo.

Brenda então se levanta de sua mesa onde estava escrevendo e vai para p banheiro para fazer sua higiene pessoal e se arrumar para sair.

Assim que sai do banheiro já arrumada, Brenda pega seu celular e manda uma mensagem para sua mãe avisando que iria sair com sua amiga, ou melhor, sua paixão de infância. Brenda e Ana são melhores amigas Des das gestações de suas mães, são totalmente inseparáveis, uma sempre ta grudada na outra, mas Brenda sempre sentiu algo a mais pro Ana, mas nunca teve coragem de contar pra sua amiga, ela tinha medo de Ana se afastar dela ou ter algum tipo de preconceito ou algo parecido.

Então, Brenda sai de casa e tranca a porta. O caminho da sorveteria onde elas iriam tomar sorvete não era muito longo, então Brenda decidiu ir andando.

No meio do caminho, havia algumas árvores e um pequeno bosque que era perto de uma floresta, Brenda sempre gostava de parar ali e tirar uma foto dos pássaros na árvore, então, Brenda pega seu celular de sua bolsa, abre a câmera, mira nos pássaros e tira a foto. Brenda então guarda seu celular e segue o caminho."

Spoiler do comecinho da história da Brenda para vocês!! Quero ver as teorias do que vai acontecer depois dessa foto hein hein, mas lembrando que até a versão final da história, eu posso mudar o começo dela, então levem esse posto como uma Demo 😊✨

----

"So, Brenda stops writing in her diary, she always wrote whenever she had time.

Brenda then gets up from her desk where she was writing and goes to the bathroom to do her personal hygiene and get ready to go out.

As soon as she leaves the bathroom already dressed, Brenda takes out her cell phone and sends a message to her mother telling her that she was going out with her friend, or rather, her childhood crush. Brenda and Ana are best friends Since their mothers' pregnancies, they are totally inseparable, one is always attached to the other, but Brenda always felt something extra for Ana, but never had the courage to tell her friend, she was afraid of Ana if move away from her or have some kind of prejudice or something similar.

So, Brenda leaves the house and locks the door. The path to the ice cream shop where they were going to get ice cream wasn't very long, so Brenda decided to walk. In the middle of the way, there were some trees and a small forest that was close to a forest, Brenda always liked to stop there and take a photo of the birds in the tree, so Brenda takes her cell phone from her bag, opens the camera, aims at the birds and take the photo. Brenda then puts away her cell phone and follows the path."

Spoilers for the beginning of Brenda's story for you!! I want to see the theories of what will happen after this photo huh huh, but remember that until the final version of the story, I can change the beginning of it, so take this post as a Demo 😊✨

[victressbeautyacademy]

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