#I AM GOING TO FUCKING CRY 🚨🚨🚨

[absurdthirst]

Mother's Day Surprise {Joel Miller x F!Reader}

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 11.4k

Warnings: Menstrual blood/cramping, violent attack, near death, surgery, comma, mentions of blood and disturbing scenes, recovery, assistance with basic needs, helping Joel shower, confessions of feelings, fingering, vaginal sex, unprotected sex, pull out method, mentions of family planning, breeding kink, dirty talk, cream pie, infertility, depression, feelings of worthlessness, death, harsh and cruel world, babies

Comments: Helping Joel Miller recover from a horrific attack leads to a life you never knew possible.

**🚨🚨 Contains spoilers for Season 2 of The Last of Us🚨🚨**

A/N: Happy Mother's Day to all those lovely moms out there and anyone wishing to become one in the future. Being a mom doesn't necessarily mean biologically. 💜

Co-written with @storiesofthefandomlovers

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|| MasterList || Joel Miller MasterList ||

Click Keep Reading only if you have read the Rating and Warnings and understand the warnings may not be complete to avoid listing spoilers. As AO3 says 'creator chooses not to use warnings'. You also agree that you're the right age to be consuming anything here.

You grunt, squinting as you struggle to see in the dark. It's the middle of the night, the sun not yet peeking through the curtains, and you wonder why you woke up until your stomach twists and you realize you're wet between your thighs. "No. No. No. No." You cry, tears in your eyes as you scramble out of bed and rush into the bathroom, shutting the door behind you. You shove your shorts down and sob at the blood that's gathered there. You got your period. Again. You sit down on the toilet and gather some paper to clean yourself up while you try to smother your cries but there's a knock at the door and Joel's voice  resonates through it, "are you okay, sweetheart?" He asks and you choke out, "the bed." Joel walks over to turn the lamp on, his eyes widening at the blood on the sheets. "Oh sweetheart." He sighs, resting his forehead against the door frame. "I'm sorry, baby. I - I am useless." You sob and he rattles the door handle, "let me in." He demands and you flush the toilet, washing your hands before you open the door. Joel immediately wraps his arms around you, pulling you into his chest. "We will try again." He promises, "I didn't give up when I was recovering and we won't give up now." He assures you while you sob into his chest.

He sighs, not even going to deny his own disappointment, although people who used to know him in the Boston QZ would never believe it. Joel Miller, disappointed that you aren’t pregnant. The very obvious sign of his seed not taking root staining the sheets of the bed you share. He shouldn’t want a child. He’s closer to fucking sixty years old than not, just a few years shy and yet he finds himself wanting to see you round with his child. His second child by blood, his third in his heart. Ellie is staying with Dina tonight, so he doesn’t have to worry about waking her up as your sobs wrack your body. “You aren’t useless.” He soothes, frowning when he remembers your emotional words. Standing in the bathroom, he wishes there was something that he could do, fertility doctors from twenty plus years ago were a thing of the past. Most people do not want to bring children into this fungi infested world, but here in Jackson, he has hope for the future. Hope for a chance to pass on a legacy.

You cling to him, knowing he's disappointed. Lord knows you've been trying enough but you just can't seem to get pregnant. It's like you are cursed and you wonder if Joel's injuries hurt your chances.

****

You gasp when you look up to see a mangled man carried into the hospital. You set your cup of coffee down and stand up, the resident doctor rushing around to try and stop the bleeding. "What the hell?" You ask and a teenage girl is clinging to his hand as the team try to wheel him into the surgery room. "Joel. Joel. Don't leave me." She pleads, tears in her eyes, and you reach for her. "He's in good hands, sweetheart. Come here. Let the doctor work." You manage to drag her away and she wraps her arms around you and sobs, "I didn't know - she nearly - they nearly- it's all my fault." She chokes and you rub her back, frowning at the doors where the man disappeared.

Hours later, the door swings open and the doctor comes back through, his work scrubs stained with blood. Ellie had been impatiently sitting and leaps out of her seat. “Is he alive? Where is he? I want to see him.” She demands, making the doctor lift his hands slightly. “He’s alive.” He reassures her, making her tense shoulders slump with relief and tears prick her eyes. “There was massive trauma to the head, and-“ Ellie interrupts him. “Of course there is, that bitch tried to beat him to death with a fucking golf club.”

Your eyes widen at the news that he was nearly beaten to death. You wrap your arm around Ellie’s shoulder. She had rambled about how Joel saved her, how much she loves him, how he’s the father she never had. Her words made your heart melt and you silently prayed he pulled through. “It’s going to be a long road to recovery. For now, we will monitor him and see if he pulls through the night. It’s touch and go still.” The doctor warns Ellie who nods, “he will pull through. Joel is a stubborn fucker.” You chuckle and rub her upper arm, “let’s get you something to eat and a shower and we can come back when he’s settled in a room.” You suggest and she’s reluctant to leave but the doctor nods, “he’s unconscious. Will be for a few days at least. His body needs rest. Go get some food and he will be waiting for you.” Ellie nods and lets you guide her to your house. Her home needs to be cleaned up and you don’t want her to see the aftermath of the battle that occurred in her home.

Joel had put up a fight. Furniture is broken, the mirror in the hallway - one he had grumbled about every day when it showed him how old he is - is shattered. Shards of glass and spurts of blood splash the walls. Ellie grimaces and stops at the blood stain on the floor right by the open front door. Obviously no one had cared about closing up the house when rushing Joel off to the hospital. “Right.” She sighs, turning when she hears someone running towards her. “Ellie! Fuck, is Joel alright?” Breathless, Tommy stops in front of the teenager and his face almost begs her to tell him that his older brother is okay. “I tracked her, but she got away.” He explains; that being the reason he wasn’t at the hospital earlier. “She went to the river and I couldn’t track her from there.” 

Ellie straightens her back, shaking her head, “that fucking bitch.” She growls and you answer Tommy’s question. “Joel had surgery. He’s unconscious right now. Still in the air as to him waking up without brain damage. The doctor did the best he could but it…it was bad.” You admit and Tommy closes his eyes, needing to see his brother. “I need to see him.” He says and you nod, “he’s unconscious still. I’m going to get Ellie changed and get her something to eat.” You tell Tommy who reaches out to squeeze Ellie’s shoulder. “Get something to eat, kid. I’ll let you know if anything changes.” Tommy promises and Ellie doesn’t say anything else, going quiet. “Come on, let’s get you something to eat.”

You nod, “go clean up. I’ll get started on trying to clean this up.” You tell her and she makes her way upstairs. You sigh, looking over at the pool of blood and you feel sick. You’ve always had a crush on the older Miller brother since he arrived at Jackson, but you’re certain he doesn’t even know you exist. 

****

You check Joel’s pulse, his eyes moving beneath his eyelids. He’s still unconscious, has been for a few days, and the hospital isn’t equipped with equipment to test brain function. All you can do is watch and wait to see if he will wake up.

Joel hurts, every inch of his body hurts and it feels like he’s trying to move mountains just to open his eyes. Fingers twitching and he opens his mouth, groaning quietly.

You gasp when you hear him groan, watching his eyes flutter, and you let go of his wrist, calling for the doctor. The doctor comes in and you gesture to Joel, “he is waking up.” The doctor nods, checking Joel over, his bandages wrapped around his head, and they had to shave his head to perform the surgery. You wonder if he will be angry about losing his hair. Ellie is in the waiting room so you head out to see her. “He’s awake.” You tell her and she stands up, “he is. I want to see him.” You shake your head, “the doctor is checking him over. Let’s give them some time.”

It takes a long time to understand what the doctors are telling him, frowning in confusion and wondering why his head feels like it’s been squashed like a grape. Moving is slower and he hisses in pain when he learns that his ribs have been broken and his leg is also fractured. Opening his mouth, it’s hard to get a word out. “E-E-El-Ellie.” He manages, needing to see her.

The doctor nods, “she’s okay.” You escort Ellie into the room, wanting her to see her father is awake, and she rushes over to the bed. “Joel. Joel. I’m sorry.” Ellie chokes, reaching for his hand. He groans as he squeezes her hand, silently assured that she’s okay.” You watch their reunion with tears in your eyes from the doorway.

“D-d-don’t bl-ame y-your-self.” Joel rasps out, still fuzzy on what happened. He doesn’t remember anything much before waking up in the hospital. Although he gets the sense he was angry- desperate. He groans in pain when she lunges forward to hug him, but he doesn’t push her away. 

You watch Ellie hug him and you know in that moment you’ll do whatever you can do to make sure Joel gets better. Ellie pulls back after several moments and the doctor checks Joel’s vitals. “He needs some more time here so we can observe him.” Ellie nods at the doctor’s words and you walk over to rub her back.

“I’m going be honest, Mr. Miller,” the doctor tells him as he pulls back. “I am surprised that you even woke up. There was significant bleeding and swelling of the brain. Tests seem positive but there could be damage that hasn’t manifested itself yet.” He tells Joel. “It’s going to be a long road to recovery for you.”

Joel doesn’t say anything. He was nearly murdered. He knows he shouldn’t be alive right now. Ellie sniffs as she steps back and Joel attempts to squeeze her hand. The doctor grabs his clipboard and looks at Joel’s recent vitals. “Waking up was half the struggle. Let’s monitor you and go from there.” The doctor says, “and we will keep running tests.” Joel grunts out an “okay” and you offer him a smile, “you’re a fighter just like Ellie said. She’s lucky to have you.”

You’re familiar to him, he can’t place it, but his thoughts are still fuzzy and jumbled. “How- how long have I been here?” He asks after a moment. “Three days.” Ellie answers and he frowns. “Who- where have you been sleeping?”

Ellie says your name, “I have been staying in her house. She has been cleaning our house because there was too much blood and - and it was a mess.” Ellie reveals and Joel’s eyes are hazy as they meet yours, silently saying goodbye thank you and you nod in response. “Just focus on getting better, Ellie and I are enjoying some girl time.” You tease, winking at Ellie who chuckles.

****

Joel stays in hospital for two weeks and you look after Ellie, preparing his home for his return, and when the doctor declares him fit to leave, he says that he needs someone to look after him. He still can’t shower by himself, he needs help eating and he struggles to walk alone. It’s going to be a long recovery for Joel. “I can help,” Ellie says without hesitation as Joel sits on the edge of the bed.

“You can’t help me do everything.” Joel grunts, knowing that he could never allow the teenage girl to help him shower or get to fucking bathroom. “I- Tommy-“ his brother has been by to visit every day, and he’s talked to him about taking Ellie. He doesn’t know how he will manage, but he also knows he can’t burden Maria and their baby with his convalesce.

“Tommy is out of town on a scouting mission.” Ellie says, knowing Joel’s brother was set on revenge for his brother’s condition. He just had to track Abby down. “I can help.” You volunteer, feeling close to him despite not having a full conversation with him. Spending time with Ellie, hearing her stories about Joel and his bravery had made you fond of him. “I can help him at home.” You offer and the doctor looks to Joel for his answer.

His eyes slide to you, unsure why you would volunteer to help him, but the doctor immediately nods. “That would be a good idea.” He agrees. “You can check his bandages and make sure that he doesn’t get an infection.” He smiles at the three of you like it’s a done deal and Joel frowns slightly, not sure if he likes the idea of you helping him.

You nod, noticing Ellie’s grateful smile, and you look at Joel, “it’s for the best. I can monitor your health and help you. I’m a nurse. It’s a medical decision.” You tell him and he grunts, knowing he doesn’t have a choice. He’s discharged and you wheel him to the doctor’s truck, knowing Joel won’t be able to walk home. You arrive outside of the house and Joel grunts, “I can walk.” He doesn’t want a wheelchair so you let him wrap his arm around you to guide him into the house. “Take your time.” You reassure him, “no need to rush.”

The shuffle is slow and painful, making him huff in irritation that he can’t move like he would want to. Even as he’s gotten older and been slower, he’s been able to move how he wanted to. Now, in a cast and recovering from nearly dying, he needs help. Ellie jumps forward to open the door and he’s glad to see that the scene that had been left from the attack you told him about has been cleaned away. He will have to thank you for that. “Fuck.” He pants, out of breath and in pain just because of the short walk from the truck to the house. “I don’t know how the fuck I’m getting upstairs.”

“We moved a bed downstairs.” You tell him, “you won’t be going upstairs for a while.” You escort him into the living room and help him settle down on the bed. He’s only wearing socks so he groans as he sits down and you help him lay on the bed. “You need to rest as much as possible. Let me get you some water. Are you hungry?” You ask, helping him settle against the pillows.

“Can you cook better than the shit they served at the hospital?” He grumbles, having not enjoyed the food there. He’s relieved to be home and his head hurts a little bit less today than before. He’s got a plate covering the fractured portion of his skull and they actually had to remove a large chunk of the bone.

You chuckle, “I like to think so. I’m glad your appetite is back. What do you feel like? I make a mean mac and cheese.” You adjust his pillow and Ellie comes to sit down next to him. “She’s a really good cook. Like really good. I’ve been helping make cheese and we even made a cake.” She tells Joel with wide eyes, shocked at how this place is like life in books she read.

“Sure.” Joel agrees, the little fissure of pain at the mention of a cake isn’t as rough as it might once have been. The last night she had been alive, Sarah had wanted a cake desperately for Joel’s birthday. “Make something the kid likes.” He suggests. “I eat anything.”

You smile, liking how he caters to Ellie, and you know that Ellie told the truth about the man she considers a father. “What do you want, sweetheart?” You ask her and she nods, “Mac and cheese.” You ask if she wants to help you while Joel gets settled in and Ellie follows you into the kitchen so you can get started on the food and you pour Joel a glass of water. “You want to take this to Joel?” You ask Ellie who takes the glass and takes it to her father figure.

Joel listens to the sound of people talking in the kitchen and it’s so strange. He can’t make out what’s being said, but he can hear voices. It’s almost unsettling that there is someone else in the safe, cozy home that he and Ellie have managed to carve out for themselves. Tommy told him that Abby, the girl who had attacked him, was the daughter of the doctor he had killed to save Ellie. His past sins were coming back to haunt him, but he doesn’t regret not letting the teen sacrifice herself for a lost cause.

Ellie comes back out to hand Joel the glass of water and he takes it, taking a sip. “Thanks, kid.” He says and she sits down at the edge of his bed. “I- I thought I was gonna lose you.” She whispers, her brown eyes meeting his, “I was scared.” She admits and Joel feels his chest tighten, tears stinging in his eyes. “But you didn’t. I survived and I ain’t going anywhere, kid.” He promises, reaching out to squeeze her hand with his free one. “She been looking after you?” He asks her, jerking his chin towards the kitchen. “Yeah. She’s been great. She cleaned this place up. Made sure I ate and showered and slept while worrying like fuck about you. She’s a good one.” Ellie says and Joel trusts her opinion. You hear what Ellie says from around the corner, some homemade chips in a bowl in your hand and you smile, liking that she trusts you. You carry the bowl in and set it down , “hope these are good. We fried them earlier today.” You say, looking between Ellie and Joel.

Joel’s brow raises and he nods. “Thanks.” It hurts to nod so he just sends you his thanks with his eyes. “For taking care of her and me now, I guess.” He sips the water and grunts when the cool liquid slides down his throat to quench his thirst. “I’m sorry for all the cursing I will be doing.” He warns you, knowing he’s never been a good patient.

You chuckle, “curse away. You’re alive. That’s all that matters.” You promise and make your way back into the kitchen to continue making dinner. It’s going to be a long path of recovery but you’re happy to help Joel get back on his feet. 

****

“Shit.” Joel hisses as you help him into the downstairs bathroom to shower. “Do you, uh, I can help take off your pants.” You offer, cheeks burning as you try and help him shower for the first time since he left the hospital.

Joel isn’t a shy man, never has been, but the idea that you have to help him bathe like he is a helpless baby makes him burn with embarrassment. There’s not a goddamn thing he can do about it though, his body is still healing and he can’t get his head wet because of the stitches and staples. “Fuck.” He grunt, hoping he doesn’t really embarrass himself. The fact that he’s not gotten an erection since he’s woken up makes him wonder if something is wrong with that function. “Fuck, what the hell else am I going to do? Shower with my fuckin’ clothes on?”

You shake your head, “no. I- I have to help. I’m a nurse. I am a professional.” You tell him even though that doesn’t hold much weight in today’s world. “Let me help you.” You reach in to turn on the water to heat it up and you reach for Joel’s shirt. “Keep still.” You murmur, working the buttons open. He probably prefers t-shirts but the button down is required so he doesn’t jostle his head. He is still weak so he lets you push the shirt off of his shoulders. “Pants next.” You declare and hook your fingers in the sweatpants, dragging them down his legs  and he’s naked under them so it's easier for him to use the bathroom. He steps out of them and you try not to appraise his naked form. He’s still healing but he’s gorgeous.

“Sorry.” He huffs, knowing that the last thing you want to do is to help an old man bathe, his still bruised body on display. Luckily, there were still medical supply devices like a chair to sit in the shower to make it easier for him, although he knows you will get wet helping him. His dormant cock twitches slightly and his eyes widen at the sensation.

You focus on looking after him and not on his body, which even though bruised, is still beautiful. You know your clothes will get soaked but that’s okay, you don’t want to strip off and make him uncomfortable so you step into the shower and help him sit down on the chair. “Temperature okay?” You ask and he nods. You grab the soap you made last week and hold it out. “You want to do it or shall I?” You ask, knowing you’ll need to wash his face so he doesn’t get his head wet.

He hates to admit that he’s so damn tired after getting into the shower, he just wants you to do it. Grunting, he shakes his head slightly and winces when he feels a little pain. “Just do it.” He tells you, not wanting this to become some kind of pissing match. “Feel like a damn baby.”

You nod, “I understand but this is the best thing for you, honey. You need to focus on healing. You nearly died so being showered isn’t the worst thing in the world.” You put it in perspective for him. You lather up your hands and work on washing his back. He groans and your stomach twists with forbidden arousal. He’s injured, recovering, you shouldn’t feel attracted to him.

“Does it hurt?” Your soft question is almost arousing, murmuring in his ear but he grunts. “No.” His voice comes out raspy and raw. “Feels good.” He’s still so damn sore and your hands on his skin feels like a massage. “It’s feeling really good.”

You continue working on washing him, mindful of his bruises. “Good.” You murmur, “I’m so sorry this happened to you.” You say as you massage the soap into his black and blue back. “Tommy tried to find them but they were gone.” You reveal, “they are gone.”

“It’s my fault.” Joel murmurs quietly, closing his eyes and trying to forget the moment he had killed that doctor, but it plays behind his lids. “How could you deserve something like this?” You snort, but he sighs softly. “I killed her father.” He reveals. “He was a doctor, for the Fireflies. They believed Ellie was the answer to a cure.” He opens his eyes, frowning. “They were going to remove her brain.”

You gasp, your hands freezing on his back. "They - does she know?" You whisper and Joel shakes his head. "She can't." You declare, having gotten to know Ellie enough to know that she would sacrifice herself. He nods, "I can't - I lied to her. I can't lose her." He confesses and you rub his back, "you won't. Secret's safe with me." You promise, "you didn't deserve this, Joel. No one does. This world...it's cruel but we have our little piece of paradise here. We just gotta protect it."

Even though he knows it would never absolve him of his sins, your words are a balm to his spirit. Soothing him and making him relax even more. “It’s nice here.” He murmurs softly. “Sarah would love it here.”

Ellie had briefly discussed the daughter that Joel lost on Outbreak Day and you rub his shoulders, “we are lucky. Not QZ, not the Wild West. We are safe and our commune is thriving.” You hum, “Ellie is lucky to have you.” You murmur and he hisses when you press a little too hard, “I’m sorry.” You grab the rag and lather it up, “you, uh, want to wash your -” Your cheeks heat up at the thought and he takes the rag without a word.

Joel washes his groin quickly, gritting his teeth when his long neglected cock starts to stir from the simple touch and the smell of your soap. He has noticed it every time he gets your help to use the bathroom and he is now covered in it. “Help me.” He grunts, trying to push to his feet so he can wash his ass.

You wrap your arms under his armpits, helping him stand and he grunts as he washes his ass. When he’s done, you rinse him off and shut off the water, grabbing the towel around his waist. “You good?” You ask and he nods, “yeah. Just feel like a fucking baby.” You chuckle, “at least you don’t need breastfeeding.”

“Fuck.” He huffs and blurts out, “that would be more fun,” before he even realizes how inappropriate it would be. “Shit, I’m sorry.” He grunts, blushing slightly.

You snort and smile, “I think we are beyond apologies now, huh?” You say, knowing you’ve helped him to the bathroom and now helped him shower. “Let’s get you redressed and I’ll heat up the soup I made earlier for you.” You tell him and grab the clean clothes you set aside for him.

His bedroom is what used to be the downstairs office. It’s got some doors for privacy, but more often than not, they are kept open until he needs to change. It makes it easier. “I didn’t ask, how do you like that bed?” His bedroom upstairs had become yours since they had broken down the smaller bed from the third bedroom. Joel wouldn’t let you sleep on the couch, telling you he could piss in a bottle in the middle of the night if he needed to. You deserved to sleep in a real bed for helping him.

“It’s good. Nice and comfy. I have no complaints.” You tell him, knowing your roommate, Sandra, will be enjoying the peace and quiet on her own in your house. “I hope it’s comfortable here.” You help him pull the shirt over his head and you kneel down so he can  step into the sweatpants.

“It’s a bed.” He’s going to be uncomfortable regardless of where he is because of how badly he had been beaten. The only reason he’s alive is because she had started swinging on other parts of his body besides the head. “I think I’ll appreciate it more when I can move without wanting to cry.”

“Not too long now. You’ve overcome the worst. You’ll get there in the end.” You promise him, “you’ll get better. Ellie needs you.” You pull the sweatpants up and stand up, patting his chest. “All clean.” You smile and guide him to sit on the bed. You swing his legs onto the bed and stand up, “I’ll go get your soup, Miller.”

He watches you go, his eyes dropping down to your ass, not for the first time either. This time though, there is a punch of lust that his body responds to. Making him grunt and reach down to adjust himself slightly. You are beautiful and now that he has spent time with you, he can see why Tommy called him a lucky bastard.

****

You spend eight weeks looking after Joel. Helping him bathe until he can manage himself, feeding him, making sure he has water. It’s your priority and you are so happy he’s recovering well. He can walk properly now and the bruises have faded. “You want some cake?” You ask Joel as he walks into the kitchen where Ellie is trying to lick the spoon of the jam you made to go in the sponge cake.

“God, yes.” Joel groans, the irony of cake not being lost on him. You have been positively spoiling him and Ellie and he hates to think about when you will leave. He’s getting better and it’s about time you go back to your own life. “Are we doing a shower tonight?” The stitches are out, but he still has staples and needs help in the shower.

You nod, “yes, sir. Gotta make sure you avoid a nasty infection. We don’t have any oral antibiotics left.” You sigh, knowing that even if someone found some, they’d be expired. You and Ellie put the cake together and you cut out a slice for each of you. Setting the plate down in front of Joel, you love the way he smiles at you. It’s been impossible to keep your affection for him at bay. You’ve fallen for him, knowing that you will have to return home at some point but the grumpy yet funny man has gotten into your heart.

“Thanks.” He sends you a grateful look and sets his elbows on the table as he waits for you to sit down. “It smells incredible. You seem to enjoy cooking, or is it just something you do because you know Ellie can’t?” He teases, making the teenager huff and roll her eyes. “It’s not like I’ve had a chance to learn, man.”

You giggle and nudge Ellie, “you’ve been learning. You’ll get there. No, I, uh, I love cooking. Always have.” You admit, “I missed it a lot when I was on the outside. Cooking rabbit on a fire isn’t quite the same as cooking in a warm kitchen.” You sigh, forking up a bite of the cake.

“Yeah, campfires are temperamental, and cooking on them is even worse.” He snorts. Ellie chuckles. “When you would let us have them.” Joel shrugs slightly. “It’s dangerous out there.” He reminds her. “Hell, it’s dangerous in here too, but it’s better than out there.” He glances towards the entryway where he had collapsed when Abby nearly beat him to death.

You notice his glance and you realize once again how close to death he was. “You’re here now. Hopefully you don’t have to go back out there anytime soon.” You reach out to squeeze Joel’s hand and he smiles at you, his fork in his other hand, “you are safe for now.”

You have been incredible, and it’s almost amazing to see how you have slipped past the shell of his heart, something that only Ellie has managed since Tess. It’s hard to believe Tess has been gone as long as she has, but Joel has been slowly trying to heal emotionally as he heals physically. Thoughts of you have crept into his waking hours, causing some embarrassing moments in the showers when he gets hard, or you wake him up from an erotic dream that features you.

****

“So, the doctor gave you the all clear. Just to be careful and not do too much.” You smile at Joel as you enter the living room after the doctor left. He had done a full assessment of Joel and called his surgery a miracle - the fact that he survived is a gift from God. Ellie is out visiting Dina and you sit down next to Joel on the sofa, “I guess I can get out of your hair now. You can have your bed back and I’ll go back to my place.” You finish softly, sad to be leaving him.

Joel wipes his hands on his sweatpants, still wearing them out of habit over the past few months. “You’re probably happy as hell to be getting away.” He snorts as he looks over at you and wonders how you have become even prettier than before. He’s crazy about you, how kind you are, how you have taken Ellie under your wing and how you never rebuke him for when he gets sad and introspective. You have helped so much and he hates that you are leaving. “Maybe I need to get the shit beat out of me again, make you stick around.”

You chuckle, shaking your head. "No need to do that. All you have to do is ask me to stay and I would." You confess and your eyes widen at the way you blurted that out. You close your mouth, turning your head to stare across the room, avoiding those dark brown eyes. "I'm sorry. I-" You begin but he interrupts you. "Stay." You turn your head to look at him again, "what? You - you want me to stay?" You ask, feeling breathless.

He rolls his eyes at your question and huffs. “Do you think that I’m getting hard every time you help me shower because getting clean turns me on?” He asks bluntly. “I’ve been trying to think about anything else but you, but nothing works.”

You stare at him in shock, “I- I can’t believe - I just thought you were horny because you couldn’t jerk off.” You snort and close your eyes for a second. “I think about you. All the time.” You admit, reaching for his hand, “I had a crush on you before I came to help.” You tell him honestly, “always thought you were handsome, but now that I know you? You’re - fuck, I love you.” You confess just as breathless as your prior revelation.

His own breath stops, caught in his chest as you confess your feelings. A year ago, hell - a few months ago, he would have been denying that you felt that way. Ignoring it or being unable to respond in kind because his world was still ground to a halt, but that had changed. You and Ellie, that attack, it had changed things and made him realize that even though he had lost so many, he still had those to live for. He lunges forward and presses his lips to yours. “Love you too.” He murmurs as you gasp.

You can’t believe he’s kissing you but you reach up to cup his cheek, pressing your lips back to his, and your heart is pounding in your chest. You shift closer, cupping his other cheek and you rest your forehead against his when you pull back, caressing his stubbled cheeks. “I love you, Miller.” You smile, unable to fathom that the man you’ve fallen for loves you too.

He's panting and his heart is beating wildly in his chest. Already turned on again and starting to tent his sweats and all you've done is shared one kiss. Reaching up, he caresses your neck and shoulder. "Are you sure? I'm fuckin' old, baby." He jokes. "And a little decrepit."

You shake your head, "you're not decrepit. Or too old. I love you, Joel. No matter what. Hell, if I can look after you like I have and still think you are sexy, you're good to go." You promise with a giggle, sliding your hands down to his chest. "And I haven't stopped thinking about you between my thighs. Inside of me." You confess in a hushed tone.

The kid is off with her friend and Joel groans quietly, having thought of nothing else for the past few days. "I don't know if I can perform worth a shit." He admits with a shake of his head. "Haven't cum since I woke up."

"I don't care. Just want to be close to you." You murmur, "don't care if you cum right away. I can ride you." You want to be close to him, to feel all of him. "I keep thinking about how you'd feel inside of me."

He's still in his downstairs bedroom and he nudges his nose against yours. "Close the doors." He rasps out, nodding towards the French doors that close off his makeshift space. "I don't want to tire myself out trying to get upstairs."

You stand up, hands shaky as you shut the doors and turn to face him. You take in the details of his face, his head shaved from his surgery so his hair is growing back patchy but he’s still so attractive. You reach for the hem of your shirt, pulling it over your head and you swiftly remove your bra. Hooking your fingers in your leggings, you push them down along with your panties to stand naked in front of him. “I’ve seen yours, figured it’s only fair if you see mine.”

"It gets bigger." He jokes, aware that you have seen and politely ignored the times he's gotten hard from you helping him in the shower. "Fuck, you are beautiful." He praises breathlessly, eyes drinking in your body as he licks his lips. It's been a long goddamn time since he's been with someone, the last person was Tess, but he feels like he's about to bust if he doesn't touch you.

“So are you.” You respond as you walk towards him. “So brave. A fucking fighter.” You murmur, shifting to straddle him as he sits back on the bed. His hands immediately find your ass and you chuckle, knowing he’s watched it enough times. You cup his cheeks and lean in to kiss him, “wanna see if it gets bigger.” You joke, grinding down onto the tent in his sweats.

Joel groans, twitching underneath you and he knows he won’t have any problem performing. The problem might be that he doesn’t please you before he cums. His hand slides around your waist to dip between your thighs. Hissing when he finds you starting to get slick as he starts to slowly rub your clit.

“Oh God.” You pant, rocking down onto his hand. It’s been far too long since anyone touched you and you are whimpering at the way his thick fingers rub your bundle of nerves. You tilt your head back and he leans in to kiss along your neck, your fingers digging into his shoulder as you absorb every touch.

He groans as he learns your body. He and Tess had been comfortable, completely familiar with each other and what the other liked. The whimpers and groans rockets his arousal higher as you grind down against his fingers and he feels like he’s going to bust in his sweats. Turning his wrist, he presses his thumb against your clit and slides his fingers through your slick folds so he can press them inside you.

“I want to touch you.” You whimper and he shakes his head, “not yet. Otherwise this will be over sooner than you thought.” He grunts and you rock onto his thick fingers, stretching you out in the most delicious way. “Fuckkkk.” You exhale as he presses his finger against that spongy spot inside of you. He’s good. He knows what he’s doing.

He loves the way you respond to him, how wet you get. Sliding his hand up and down your back as he kisses along your shoulder and down to your tit. Wrapping his lips around a stiff nipple as he continues to pump his fingers in and out of your wet heat.

“Shit.” You hiss, caressing his head as he suckles on your nipple like he’s trying to root. It has you quivering and you’re so close. So many nights of imagining how he’d touch you has led to you getting worked up faster than you have ever known. “Joel. Oh God, Joel. You’re gonna make me - I’m gonna-” You don’t finish your cry as you cut yourself off with a strangler choke and clamp down on his digits, soaking them with your cum.

“That’s it, fuck, good girl.” Joel pants against your breast as he pumps his fingers to help you ride out your orgasm. “You’re so goddamn good to me, ain’t ya? You creamin’ all over my fingers, making me harder than a fucking rock.” He coos praises into your skin, enjoying the way your nails bite into his shoulder through the shirt. Your pretty cunt soaked his fingers and he can only imagine how good you will feel around his cock.

His words make you choke on your breath as he works you through your orgasm. You never imagined he’d be so dirty but you love it. “Fuck, baby. Yes. I need - I need you inside of me but I want to suck your cock.” You whine, reaching down to tug on the hem of his shirt, wanting him naked beneath you.

“You can’t.” Joel moans, shaking his head. “I wouldn’t last a minute. And I want to feel you, fuck, imagined it so many times.” He pants, pulling away from the back of the bed so you can pull his shirt off. “Maybe- later, if I can get it up again.” He chuckles.

You pull his shirt over his head, still mindful of his injuries, and you slide your hands down his chest, admiring his broadness. “You’re so sexy.” You murmur, reaching down to pull his cock out of his sweatpants, wanting to see him in this light. You’ve seen his cock plenty of times but now you know he’s hard for you and it’s intoxicating. You pump him and he groans out a warning so you shift to lift your hips, positioning him at your entrance and you slowly sink down onto him.

“Fuuuuuuuuck.” His hands grip your hips harshly and he clenches his jaw as you take him. You are hot and tight like a glove around his cock, clenching around him as your walls flutter. Your ass presses against his thighs and he rocks his hips up. “Fuck, that’s - fuck, gimme a minute.” He begs, feeling like he’s about to cum. “Let me- calm down.”

You nod, stilling on top of him, and you caress his chest. He exhales shakily and you lean in to kiss him, “take your time, baby. I’m in no rush.” You promise and kiss along his jaw, loving how he stretches you out.

It’s been so long since he’s felt this close to anyone, your breath blows against his skin and he shivers. Closing his eyes as he holds you still. “Fuck, I love you.” He murmurs quietly, aware that this is something that he shouldn’t even have, he should have died. But he’s here and he’s going to live for the moment and bask in the forgiveness of your touch.

You close your eyes at his words, loving how he caresses you, and you tilt your head to look at him. “I love you too. You’re so much more than you think you are.” You murmur, caressing his cheek, and you experimentally rock your hips. His groan makes your stomach clench and you rock again, starting slow as he moves inside of you.

“Shit.” He hisses quietly, opening his eyes to watch as you start to move. “You’re so pretty, so fuckin’ pretty.” He promises as he starts to slide his hands up and down your back. “You feel so good, does it feel good for you?”

His words make your heart pound in your chest and you nod, “feels so good. You feel so damn big inside of me.” You confess breathlessly, “stretching me out. It’s been so long since I had sex. You need to- to pull out so tell me if you’re close.” You remind him, not wanting an accidental pregnancy right now.

Joel grunts, looking into your eyes as he nods. “I will.” He promises. Safe sex isn’t really a thing to be had but hopefully there’s not something to come of this. You are right to remind him. “I’m good baby, ride me.”

You take his word and start to move faster. Your hands gripping his shoulders as you start to move on top of him, moaning at the way he twitches inside of you. "Fuck, you feel so good." You pant, chest heaving as his cock curves just right inside of you.

Joel grunts and leans forward to press his lips to yours, biting your bottom lip after he kisses you. Your breasts brush against his chest and he pulls you closer, craving the feel of your skin against his.

You moan into his mouth, loving how strong her feels, how he’s recovered and he’s stronger for it mentally. You rock down onto his cock, loving the way he twitches inside of you, and you are getting close. Just the feel of having the man you love inside of you is pushing you higher. “Oh shit.” You whimper when you find the right spot and you reach down to rub your clit, pushing yourself closer to the edge.

“That’s it pretty girl, making yourself cum.” Joel groans, watching you touch yourself with dark eyes. It’s so sexy and he can’t get enough of it. “Make yourself cum on my cock. I want to feel it, see it. Show me what you look like.”

You nod, mouth open as you work yourself higher until you finally fall over the edge. A cry escapes your lips as you cum, moaning his name and you clamp down on his cock, soaking him while your orgasm rocks through you.

His eyes roll back in pleasure as he feels you squeezing him and he knows he will be cumming any second. “Sweethea-rt, you gotta-“ he grits his teeth as he jerks your body up off his cock so he can keep his promise to you, panting as he spurts all over his stomach and chest.

You watch him as he cums and you love it. The way he looks is intoxicating and you lean in to kiss him. “Fuck, I love you.” You murmur, leaning in to kiss him as he pants your name.

He kisses you back eagerly, reaching for his shirt to wipe away the mess so you can lean against him. “Fuck, that was- I can’t even-“ he chuckles quietly and kisses you again. “What do you think about moving in permanently?”

You smile as he looks at you, his dark eyes soft, and you cup his cheeks. “Yes. Absolutely.” Your smile turns into a grin, excited to explore this next step with Joel. “I was dreading going home and I would miss you and Ellie like crazy.” You confess, “I want to stay.”

“Good.” He pauses for a moment and then he admits, “it’s felt like a proper home with you here. Ellie, she loves you too.” He tells you softly. “I think she imagines we are a family.”

“I imagine that too. She’s like a daughter to me.” You confess, “I want to make this a home and I want to be yours. Be in your bed every night. Be by your side no matter what.” You promise and Joel smiles, cupping your cheek, “sounds amazing, baby.”

****

“Joel.” You say his name as he takes a sip of whiskey. Ellie is watching a movie with the other kids in the barn and you decided to cook a romantic dinner for Joel, wanting to ask him something. He looks at you and you tilt your head, appraising him. You pick up your glass and take a sip, your throat suddenly dry. “Everything okay, baby?” He asks and you nod, squaring your shoulders. “I want a baby.” You announce, bracing yourself for him to say no.

Joel freezes, waiting for the familiar ache to take over his chest. For this vision to blur and his breathing to turn into short bursts as thoughts of Sarah take over. As the sounds of her rapid, panicked last breaths fill his ears. It never comes. 

He doesn’t panic at the thought of having a child that could remind him of Sarah. Ellie does in some ways, but she’s a completely different type of girl. One raised in the world outside the safety of the walls of Jackson. If you had a child here, they would be innocent in some ways Ellie was not, more like Sarah. “A baby, huh?” He murmurs after a moment. “With me?” He asks. “I’m nearly sixty, baby. You want that?”

You sense his hesitation and you feel like backtracking but you think about the nights you’ve spent awake pondering this, weighing the pros and cons of having his baby in this world. You reach for his hand, “I know and I still want it. Spending time with Ellie, helping with your nephew, it’s made me realize that I can do it. It’s hard, always hard being a mother, but I’m ready and I want a baby. I want a baby that will carry our legacy, a baby that will grow up safe and capable. We will make sure of it. Unless you don’t want that, which is - it’s fine. I’ll handle your decision. We both have to want this, Joel. Not just me. Don’t do it for me. I want you to want this too and if you don’t, then that’s case closed.” You promise, not wanting to pressure him.

Joel squeezes your hand gently, reminded of the nights he had woken in a cold sweat, sometimes from the broken memories of him being attacked or the memory of losing Sarah. You have been right beside him, offering him comfort and solace. He’s told you about that night, sharing with you memories that he has kept bottled for over twenty years. You had cried in his arms like you had been Sarah’s mother, assuring him that he had done everything right to try to protect his baby girl. The fact that he’s not immediately said no is very insightful and he bites his lip and watches you with a softness that even a year ago, he was unsure he was capable of. “It’s been a looooong time since 2 AM feedings and my hearing is shot.” He snorts, smiling slightly. “You’ll have to poke me to wake me up if you want me to get up with a baby.”

You smile, loving the way he has agreed to having a baby with you. “You’re forgetting the best part about deciding to have a baby….” You trail off and smirk, “the trying.” He returns your smirk and you giggle, standing up from your seat and you round the table to sit in his lap. “I love you.” You murmur when you’re settled in his lap, reaching up to caress his cheek. “I want you to fuck a baby into me, Joel.”

“Fuck, that’s hotter than I ever imagined.” Joel grunts, twitching underneath you. His sex drive isn’t completely on par with yours, but he keeps up and keeps you satisfied in other ways. You’ve told him you don’t regret being with him at all. Which is another balm on his battered soul. “You want me to cum in that pretty pussy?” He asks, squeezing your ass. “Imagined how you would look dripping me a few times.”

You moan, kissing along his jaw as his words wash over you. “I want you to cum inside of me. Put a baby in me.” You plead, wiggling on his lap. His hair has grown back now, more gray in it, but you love it, and you reach up to run your fingers through his hair.

He groans and captures your lips with his, licking into your mouth immediately as the easy passion blooms between you. His hands move to start stripping you down.

It doesn’t take long for you and Joel to be naked. You stumbled up the stairs to your bedroom, clothes scattered on the trail upstairs and when you lay down on the bed, Joel is immediately hovering over you. Your heart is pounding in your chest and his hand slides along your thigh, cupping your pussy. “I don’t want foreplay. I just want you. Want to feel all of you.” You murmur, caressing his shoulders.

There are times when you want the burn of his cock stretching you out and tonight is one of those nights it seems. That’s good because Joel is impatient to get inside you. He takes his cock in hand and pumps it a few times as he shuffles forward to press against your entrance. “I love you.” He murmurs.

He pushes inside of you, stretching you out, and you gasp out “love you too.” He pushes inside of you until he’s fully seated and you take a deep breath, enjoying the weight of his body on top of yours and the weight of the moment. Deciding to take this step together has your body primed and ready for him. He starts to move inside of you and you wrap your legs around his waist, moaning at the way he rocks into you.

Nearly dying hadn’t had the lasting effects that the doctors had feared when Joel had been brought in. His thrusts are steady, if not a little harder than normal, although he keeps the pace sedate. Not rushing, but he enjoys burying himself as deep as he can go and watching your eyes roll back in pleasure. “Gonna knock you up.” He grunts out.

His words make you clench around him, your hands sliding down his back to squeeze his ass. His recovery has been a miracle from the man who was on death's door to the man currently making love to you trying to get you pregnant. You whimper when his lips find your neck and you rock your hips up to try and meet his.

Every time the two of you come together, Joel remembers how lucky he is. His kisses trail along your throat as he groans into your skin. Both of you give and take from each other. “Fuck, baby.” Joel moans, his body tensing when you clench down around him again. “You gonna cum before I fill you up? Love it when you soak my cock.”

You nod, "yes baby. I - shit - you always feel so good." You slide one hand down between you so you can rub your clit. He immediately bats your hand away after shifting his weight onto one elbow. You moan when he rubs your clit just right, his hips pushing into your ass as you take him deep inside of you. "Shit. Joel. You - I'm - God." You cry out as you clamp down on his cock, soaking him.

“That’s it, good girl, goooooood girl.” Joel moans, clenching his teeth as you come apart around him. He feels his own body is ready to cum, excited by the situation and it only takes a few more thrusts. Instead of pulling his hips back, he plunges them forward, embedding himself deep as he paints your womb with his seed. “Fuck, fuck.” He pants, closing his eyes as he rides out his orgasm, amazed at how good it feels. “You’ll be pregnant in no time.”

You smile against his lips when he leans in to kiss you and you’re so hopeful for the future with Joel. A baby that looks like the two of you combined. You are excited and when he pulls out, you keep his cum inside of you, trying to make sure that it takes. You’ll be pregnant in no time.

****

“Sweetheart….I’m supposed to go ride the southern border and check the area.” You’ve quieted down over the past few hours, but he can still see the sadness lurking in your eyes. You’ve stopped blaming yourself but he knows those thoughts are bouncing around and he’s reluctant to leave you. “Do you want me to have Tommy go? Stay here with you?”

You shake your head, eyes sore from crying, “no baby. Just go. I’ll be fine. Ellie will be back soon.” You murmur, keeping your back turned towards him. You feel useless, you feel broken, and you feel exhausted. You’ve tried so hard to get pregnant. You even researched old wives tales about how to get pregnant. You’ve taken herbs, teas, anything you can to get pregnant and after trying for so long, you’re exhausted.

He worries about you, leaning over and pressing his lips to your forehead. “I’ll be back as quickly as possible and I’ll make dinner tonight.” He offers. It’s the historical Mother’s Day today, and he knows you will be extra glum since you are once again not pregnant. Sometimes he wonders if he should just tell you that he’s changed his mind, taking the guilt and worry about it off your shoulders. You can blame him for not having a child. “Okay?”

“Sure.” You murmur, closing your eyes as a cramp contracts in your stomach, making you curl into a ball. You really thought this was it. Your period was two weeks late and you didn’t tell Joel because you wanted to surprise him and then you got your period. You sniff and Joel sighs, shuffling out of the bed to get ready for his shift. You can’t blame him. He’s had a kid. It’s got to be you that’s the issue.

He’ll look for some wildflowers for you while he’s out. They always make you smile and tonight, he will do his best to make sure that you know that no matter what, he loves you. He thinks about all this while he puts his clothes on and brushes his teeth, coming out of the bathroom to find you still curled up. “Go soak in a hot bath, baby.” He suggests, walking over to the bed and kissing your cheek. “I’ll be back soon.”

You listen to him go and you know it's technically Mother's Day today. Salt in the wound. You swallow harshly and wait until the front door closes before you allow yourself to sob again. You can't believe you aren't pregnant. You've tried so hard. Maybe you aren't meant to be a mother.

Saddling the horse and getting let out of the gates of Jackson has Joel on autopilot. Most often the scouting parties are in groups, but today had been just singles, most men in the community wanting to spend time with their wives and celebrate them. The grass is green and lush; there's a certain beauty to the mild spring transitioning into warmer weather. Urging the horse forward, he is eager to finish the patrol so he can get back to you.

You have your bath, eyes sore from sobbing, and you try to come to terms that you’re never going to be a mother. It’s just not in the cards. You love Ellie and you think of her as your daughter but you wanted a baby, a combination of you and Joel to love and care for in this new world. That isn’t going to happen and you curl around yourself in bed after you’re dry, trying to cope with that fact.

Pulling the reins, Joel listens carefully, certain that he has just heard a cry. His hand goes to his rifle to pull it off his shoulder. Wary of traps or ruses to draw unsuspecting people in, he scans the area. Silence lingers long enough until he’s almost convinced he was hearing things when there’s another, louder cry. A baby. His eyes widen and he nudges the horse forward again. “Hello?” He cups his hand and calls out, wondering if there is a group traveling nearby. There must be, if there is a baby. Mountain lions and things that can sound like a baby crying are farther up in the mountains. Instead of the sound quieting, the crying turns into screaming, giving him a direction to head towards. Joel keeps his rifle up and guides the horse with his knees when he almost stumbles upon the scene. 

“Shit!” There’s a woman lying on the ground, face down with a carrier on her back, a small baby - no more than three or four months old - screaming from the restraints. He scans the areas again, looking for a trap, but there’s nothing moving. The baby's howls prompts him to dismount and move towards the woman, his rifle pointed at her until he reaches them and nudges her with his boot. Wondering if she’s been changed and cannot get to the baby, although he’s never seen one go dormant with a human around and making noise. “Hey…” prodding her doesn’t make her move and Joel scans the area again, the open range not a good spot to plan an ambush, but someone could be hiding in the tall grass. Carefully kneeling down, he grabs a bony thin shoulder and turns the woman enough to see that her gaunt face and shrunken eyes are lifeless. “Shit.” He hisses, looking back at the baby who is almost as bad as the mother. From what it looks like, this poor woman had been traveling to find shelter, food, anything for her and her baby and she collapsed less than two miles from salvation. 

Joel sighs as he sets the rifle down and rolls the body on its side. “I’m sorry.” He murmurs quietly, his heart clenching at the reality of the situation, reaching out to close the woman’s eyes before unbuckling the strap for the carrier that is across her chest.

Ellie returns before Joel does and you offer her a smile as she says hello. “I, uh, I made you something.” She says, handing you a piece of paper. It’s a card. “Happy Mother’s Day” it says and your heart clenches. A genuine smile on your face as you realize she made this for you. You open it and tears sting in your eyes as you read her scrawled handwriting. “Thank you for being the mom I never had.” She wrote and you choke, reaching for her. “I love you so much sweetheart.” You pull her close, reminded that you have a beautiful daughter who loves you. “I love you too.” She murmurs, holding you just as tight. The front door opens and you pull back as you hear a baby crying. “Joel?” You gasp when your partner walks into the kitchen.

“Ellie….go to Tommy’s and get a bottle.” He orders the teenager as he starts to pull the baby carrier off his own chest to take the baby out. He had brought the body back, but this baby needed milk as soon as he could get it for her. “I found her,” he explains. “A woman collapsed two miles away from Jackson, she starved to death.” He motions you over. “At least, I think it’s a girl.”

Your eyes widen as he cradles the baby and you reach out to take them into your arms. The baby’s diaper is dirty and you shush them as you walk over to grab an old dish towel from the drawer as a makeshift diaper. “It’s okay, sweetheart.” You coo, unwrapping the baby on the kitchen table and you tell Joel to get a wet cloth. You work on cleaning up the baby, “it’s a girl.” You announce and wrap her in the dishtowel, using the pin from her old diaper. “It’s okay sweetheart. You’re okay, sweet girl. You’re safe and we are going to get you milk.” You promise, cradling her as you turn back towards Joel. “Her poor mother. So close to salvation.” You sigh, shaking your head at the tragedy.

“I brought her back.” Joel tells you quietly, watching as you bounce the baby girl in your arms and coo at her to calm her down. “Hoping something in her bag would tell us where she’s from, what the baby’s name is.” He sighs softly. “I couldn’t leave her out there.”

“Her mother deserves a service, a burial. We must give this little one a place to visit her mother.” You murmur, stroking her cheek. She’s gorgeous, her eyes watching you, and you try to not get too attached to her, knowing that Maria and Tommy will be handling the situation.

Ellie comes bursting into the house. “Got a bottle!” She yells, thundering down the hall to rush into the kitchen. “Tommy and Maria are coming too.” She pants, quickly handing the full bottle of milk to you. The baby is obviously hungry because the second that you brush the nipple against her mouth, she shakes her little head furiously as she tries to get it in her mouth, crying out before the nipple is in and immediately starting to suckle hungrily with great, greedy gulps.

“We will need more. Tommy and Maria have everything for a baby. We - they should take her.” You murmur, knowing it will be hard to hand the baby over but she isn’t yours and the leader needs to make a decision on her placement.

Joel takes one look at the way you hold this baby while she’s eating and knows that’s not what needs to happen. This baby is your chance to be a mother, to feel like a mother. It’s like it was fate for him to be out there and find her today, to bring her to you. “I think we should keep her.” Joel tells you, coming up and laying his hand on your shoulder. “Tommy and Maria have a lot on their plate with one baby already.”

Your eyes widen as you look at him then back at the baby. “We - us - are you - Joel.” You whisper, a soft smile on your face as you dare to hope that you can keep the little girl. It feels wrong. Her mother just died, but she can’t be left alone. She needs someone to look after her.

The front door opens. “Joel?” Tommy’s voice floats through the house and Joel keeps looking at you with the baby. “In the kitchen.” He calls out. The guards at the gates had kept his horse with the poor woman’s body and he had known Tommy and Maria would come to find out what the hell happened, but he wanted to get the baby here first. Footsteps quickly sound out, two sets of them like he expected and the baby is still greedily sucking away at the milk when his brother and sister in law come into the kitchen.

You look up as Maria walks in, her baby strapped to her chest, and she immediately comes over to see the baby in your arms. “Oh, she’s a sweet little thing. She needs fattening up. Poor girl, her mom was so close to our gates. She needs a mother. You should be her mother.” She says and you stare at her, “are you sure?” Maria smiles, stroking the head of her son. “She needs a mother and you are a more than capable applicant.” She gestures to the way you’re holding the baby. “I- I know this sounds insane but I feel like this is my purpose.” You murmur, looking down at her as she suckles.

Tommy smirks at Joel, who is obviously relieved by the decision. He’s talked to Tommy about the issues you’ve had trying to conceive and wished that there was some way for you to figure out what was wrong, but there just aren’t the medical resources here in Jackson. Joel had even been thinking about trying one of the universities, but couldn’t risk it again. “We both feel that way.”

You smile, cooing at the baby. “Did we find out what her name is?” You ask and Tommy nods, holding up a note that was in the mother’s satchel. “Her name is Hope.” Tommy reveals and you smile, “Hope.” You murmur, pulling the bottle away when she’s done. You shift her to your shoulder to burp her and you cradle her once she’s burped. “She’s our hope.” You declare as you look at Joel and he comes over to wrap his arm around you, looking down at the baby. “Our new daughter.” Joel murmurs, kissing your hair and he beckons Ellie over. “She’s kinda cute.” Ellie says and leans in to stare at the baby. “Hi Hope. I’m Ellie. Your big sister. I’ll teach you everything you need to know. Especially about our grumpy dad.” She jokes and Joel chuckles and rolls his eyes. “We will gather everything you’ll need and we will make sure her mother has a proper burial. For now, you guys settle in as a family.” Maria says, stepping back towards Tommy. “Oh and Happy Mother’s Day.” Maria says to you and you smile, “you too.” You may not be able to have a biological baby but you have Ellie and you have Hope. The two girls who have made you a mother.

[kindestofkings]

nepobaby² [pt.2]

elijah hewson x pop singer! reader

description: people hate to see a hot girl killing it, so much so that tmz starts rumours that spread like wildfire.

authors note: heyy this is a random part two to this ! so go enjoy and tell me what you think :))

tmz

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tmz 🚨 Scandal Alert 🚨 TMZ exclusive: Shocking photos reveal yourusername caught in a steamy affair with a Saltburn's heartthrob Barry Keoghan, despite being in a relationship of over 3 years! 😱💔

Stay tuned as we uncover all the juicy details behind this explosive cheating scandal.

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inhalerfan1 omg what a slut! always knew she was no good for Eli

inhalerfan2 she's so fame hungry going after the most popular irish celeb, watch out paul mescal

ynfan1 nooooo girl nooooo

ynfanupdates

liked by ynfan1 and others

ynfanupdates ehhhh guys did you see all this?? yn and eli were spotted together like a week ago what the hell is going on??

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ynfan1 I refuse to believe this is true, she's not like that

inhalerfan2 oh and you know her so well do you? ynfan1 maybe not but I do know tmz have lied in the past! they have no journalistic integrity

ynfan2 she must of really REALLY enjoyed saltburn

inhalerfan1 I will never listen to her again disgusting behaviour

deuxmoi

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deuxmoi just hours after the news broke that his girlfriend of 3 years is cheating on him, elijah hewson is the picture of heartbroken at his show and their interviews :(

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inhalerfan1 omg baby, #ynisoverparty

inhalerfan2 this is crazy, how could she do this to him while they're touring !

ynfan1 we don't even know if the rumours are true!! inhalerfan1 evidence is pretty stacked against your girl

inhalerfan3 can't wait for the single Eli era !!

yourusername just posted on their close friends!

this is hell there was 6 other people at that dinner and we got in separate cars home

replies:

bobbyskeetz yeah didn't think you fucked with barry like that

↳ ...... bobbyskeetz too soon? yeah just a bit man

taylorswift they are ruthless! please call me gorgeous, you're not alone in this xx

trumanblack are you in LA right now?

↳ I am yeah why does that matter rn matthew trumanblack just wanted to make sure I booked the flight to the right place. ↳ matttttt I'm gonna cry (even more)

ynfanupdates

liked by ynfan1 and others

ynfanupdates THIS IS NOT THE FACE OF A CHEATER. Also look how in love those two are !!! I dont not believe tmz on bit. ALSO people are being so mean to her. LEAVE HER ALONE!!!

view all other comments

ynfan1 couldn’t said it better myself

ynfan2 people hate to see a hot girl slay.

tmz

liked by 1975fan1 and others

tmz big brother to the rescue ? looks like the Healy siblings are sticking together through thick and thin. our cameras caught the eldest Healy sibling rushing to the states to support his little sister amidst her massive cheating scandal! 👀

looks like getting cancelled runs in the family huh...

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1975fan1 oh he looks pissed

ynfan1 omg the poor girl she looks in bits 💔

inhalerfan1 consequences of her actions ynfan2 WE DONT EVEN KNOW IF ITS TRUE NONE OF THEM HAVE COME OUT AND SAID ANYTHING inhalerfan1 you are clearly unhinged babe xxx

inhalerfan1 great job playing the victim girl, what about eli x

elijahhewson

liked by yourusername and others

elijahhewson stop making shit up to sell you papers. this is the love of my life who was at a group dinner, leave her be.

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bobbyskeetz ready to go to war for my favourite couple

ryanmcmahon_15 me too !

inhalerfan1 holy shit eli's is off private oh my GOD

inhalerfan2 it’s happening! everyone stay calm

trumanblack fair play mate

denisewelch its all so silly, clearly haven't seen how in love you two are !!

taylorswift glad to see her smiling again <3

ynfan1 I KNEW IT my parents could never .

ynfanupdates hope she's okay people were so mean to her..

yourusername

liked by elijahhewson and others

yourusername please learn to be nicer while I disappear x

comments have been turned off.

ynfanupdates

liked by ynfan1 and others

ynfanupdates it’s officially been a year and a half since we’ve heard anything from or even seen yourusername 🥲 I really respect her taking some time after that crazy barry situation but this is HARD

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ynfan1 noo I’m the same, I do be missing her bops

ynfan2 fr feels like we’ve been put in the worlds longest time out

ynfanupdates especially with that last insta post 😔

yourusername posted to their close friends!

replies:

charli_xcx yessss queen the world is not readyyyy

↳ AHHH thank you C <33

rass75 AOTY pending?

↳ heheh idk ! genre change pending tho …

taylorswift cannot wait to hear what you're working on !

↳ and what if you hopped on a track?

yourusername

liked by elijahhewson and others

yourusername is there anyone out there?

come spend some time with me within the echoes of solitude, there might be some familiar faces x

// this is me trying  / the lakes / mad woman / my tears ricochet / mirrorball / slut! (feat. Taylor Swift) / let the light in (feat. Elijah Hewson) / both sides now (feat. Joni Mitchell) / coney island (feat. Matty Healy) //

out in TWO weeks !

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jackantonoff lets fuckin GO

trumanblack so moody, almost emo?

yourusername coming for your gig big bro x

gabriette woooo they are not ready !

charlixcx AHHHH so buzzed (for all the sadness)

ynfan2 ah a sad album?? yourusername im sorry to confirm its not very pop 💔 ynfan2 so heartbroken ! but can't wait to hear it all, welcome back <3

elijahhewson so proud of you beautiful

ynfan1 OMG SHE'S BACK

ynfan2 oh no she looks so sad :(( slut! is gonna break me

ynfanupdates okay queen is back to dominate a new genre !

vogue

liked by yourusername and others

vogue our next edition unveils an exclusive interview with our beloved pop sensation! emerging from a year of solitude, she opens up about her toughest career moment yet and her newfound carefree spirit, crediting the unwavering support of friends, family, and the love of her life! don't miss out on the latest scoop - grab your copy and dive into her inspiring journey!

view all other comments

yourusername ahhhhh thanks for having me !!!

ynfan1 oh she slayss

ynfan2 bless her, the part where she talks about how nervous she is about not releasing a new pop album broke my heart

ynfan1 fr she doesn't get how much we love her ! yourusername AWH you guys !!!!

inhalerfan1 the love of her life .... her and eli are the cutest

yourusername

liked by trumanblack and others

yourusername HI again ! soooo I felt a tinnie bit bad that I'm abandoning my roots, espically so close to summer sooo....

espresso a certified bop* is out now xxxx

*certification is from my boyfriend so possible bias there ..

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ynfan1 holy shit I LOVE YOU

ynfan2 eli is so in love im OBSESSED

charlixcx so hot omfg

bobbyskeetz man is whipped

yourusername isnt it that sweet?! bobbyskeetz i guess so 🙄 elijahhewson espresso

finished

hehehe this is so dramatic and for WHAt?! but I love and had so much fun making it. ENJOY <33

ALSO requests are open aswell so it me up xx

[hatelangdon]

Gentle with me...

Sub!Tate Langdon x Gentle!Fem!Dom!reader

2.4k words ~

🚨🚨 18+ ONLY! MINORS DNI 🚨🚨

🚨 Warnings: Use of toys/pegging, anal fingering (m receiving), Anal sex (M recieving), vibrator use (m receiving), safe light system (Tate says yellow at one point), begging, crying, nipple play, Tate being a whiny sub🚨

A/N: I am so tired, this is my first and possibly last smut. it is 3 a.m. I do not care about errors, yk what i meant and i'm sorry. I hope you guys enjoy this and I won't have regrets in the morning.

"Tate, we don't have to do anything if you're not ready, baby." You watched Tate's nervous eyes from behind you in the mirror as you adjusted the strap-on to fit your hips.

He immediately averted his gaze, looking down at the floor, his cheeks blushed furiously.

You made your way over to the bed where he was sitting, interlacing your fingers with his. "Talk to me, my love." you placed a gentle kiss on the right side of his cheek "Tell me where your head is at."

"I'm ready...i'm just nervous...i've never done anything like this before.."

"You have nothing to be nervous about Tate, just relax." You reassure him by running your hands through his blonde curls "I always take care of you, don't I? You know that."

The blonde immediately nodded, his nervousness soon turning into excitement. presenting itself with a tent in his boxers.

Tate absolutely adored when you topped, being under you just felt right to him. He was almost always the submissive one when you two had sex, he loved watching you bounce up and down on his dick, using him as your personal dildo. He trusted you with his body wholeheartedly so when you brought up the idea of pegging, he was almost immediately enamored by the idea after doing his own "research" of course, he had never taken anything up the ass before, he never really got the chance to explore his body before there were seventeen bullet holes put into it.

You smirked, feeling him harden up against the palm of your hand, just the slightest touch could drive him crazy, "you trust me, right?"

"I trust you y/n." he whispered breathlessly, as you sensually slid his boxers off, the friction causing him to whine out. His erection fully pronounced against his stomach when you finally got them off.

"I know, my love," You looked him up and down, he was so beautiful like this. His big brown eyes peering into yours, searching for direction, "Lay on your back for me, legs up baby. I wanna see your pretty face while I fuck you."

He did as he was told, laying back on the bed holding up his legs so you could see his pretty pink hole, completely untouched, vulnerable, on display for you and only you. He was completely red in the face

"Good boy. So obedient." you teased, running your hands up and down his thighs, you were more than ready to open him up, anticipating the feeling of being inside him, even though you wouldn't feel anything, the thought of Tate moaning your name as you filled him up with your cock, made your core throb. You noticed that the blonde boy beneath you was nearly shaking with nerves, his entire face red from anticipation "Oh baby, just relax." you tsked, moving his hands, and resting his legs on your shoulders so he wouldn't have to do as much work, "Is that better?" you asked, softly.

Tate nodded, feeling a lot less tense, "Feels a lot better."

You made your way down, leaning your body against his, so you were chest to chest. Your faces only inches apart, the dildo resting right on his hole, causing his eyes to widen, were you just going to put it inside of him? So quickly?!

Just as he was about to freak out, and move you away, you calmed his nerves with a passionate kiss, that lingered on his lips for about 10 seconds before you made you way down to his neck. He took a deep breath trying to keep his composure, but he couldn't stop his eyes from rolling to the back of his head as he melted into your touch. The feeling of your lips against his neck always drove him crazy, he was so sensitive especially when you made your way up near his ears.

The blonde's cheeks flushed from the almost overstimulating amount of pleasure, as your hands explored his chest, rubbing your thumb around his nipple, another sensitive part that could make Tate melt like putty in your hands, you wanted to make sure he was completely relaxed and comfortable before you even put one finger in.

He whined out, his breath hitching in his throat as you continued to nip at his neck, he felt your hand making its way down to his ass, rubbing his soft entrance with your middle finger, not pushing in quite yet, and letting him get used to the feeling.

He wasn't too freaked out, the feeling wasn't terrible, just foreign to him "...Just be gentle with me okay, y/n?" he whimpered, covering up his face with both of his arms, trying to hide his shyness

"I will baby, i'll check on you," you whispered softly into his ear, sending a chill through his body. You moved both of your hands to remove his from his face, pinning them above his head, so you could look deep into those dark eyes, "If everything's going okay just say green, if you need me to slow down, yellow, and if it becomes too much or something hurts, red." you placed a tender kiss onto his lips, that only lasted a few seconds but the minute you pulled away, Tate was begging for more, trying to sit up and lean into it, "I have to finish my instructions, angel," you shushed him, your thumb stroking his cheek "if you say red i'll pull out immediately."

Tate nodded, staring up at you, immediately lulled to safety from your thumb stroking his cheek "Like stoplights?"

you nodded, reassuring him "Like stoplights, my darling."

Tate breathed a sigh of relief, he felt very safe in your care. You always seemed to know exactly what you were doing, and how to take care of him

"I'm just gonna use my fingers to get you open, are you ready?" there was a comically large bottle of lube on the nightstand, you could never have too much. It was water based of course, so the silicone in the toy wouldn't break down, you had done your research.

He nodded, eyelids low as he looked up at you "I'm ready, y/n"

Tate's legs were still propped up on your shoulders so you had easy access to the target of your desire, you pumped a generous amount of the slick liquid onto your index and middle finger.

You were merciful, circling his hole with some lube before you inserted your middle finger, Tate took a deep breath from the sudden stretch. It wasn't what he expected, it wasn't bad but it wasn't good either, he was genuinely unimpressed and uncomfortable.

You started pumping, more focused on helping him open up rather than trying to satisfy him, "you doin okay?"

The blonde nodded, "There's no way this is what has the guys moaning in the videos."

You couldn't help but giggle at his remarks, this was only the beginning. Once he was used to one finger you slipped your index into him, and he was definitely feeling the stretch.

Now this, was uncomfortable. If this was bad, how did he expect to take a toy? you watched both of your fingers, going in and disappearing into his hole, your lover's face scrunched up in an unreadable expression. You curled your fingers up, gently exploring until you found it.

That little ball of pleasure, the prostate. Tate immediately reacted, a small whimper escaping from his lips as soon as your fingers brushed the spot, you could feel his walls clenching around your fingers.

"mm- what was that?" He asked, eyes wide open

You chuckled, "your prostate, baby" you curled your fingers once again, applying direct pressure to the spot, and making Tate cry out from the sensation and sending chills throughout his entire body

"That feels good, keep doing that please" he pleaded,

"Of course" You went on like that, alternating between curling and uncurling your fingers, brushing up against his spot every other time. You tried to keep Tate occupied and quiet with kisses, but he couldn't stop moaning against your lips every time you rubbed up against his spot. He was practically falling apart just off your fingers, and you knew if you continued, you wouldn't even get the opportunity to use the strap.

You removed your fingers just as he got used to them, causing Tate to look at you like you had betrayed him, "What happened? Did I do something wrong?"

"No Tate, no, no, no. You're doing amazing." you shushed him, placing a tender kiss on his forehead knowing that he needed the reassurance, "I think you're ready, baby."

Tate nodded in agreement, knowing exactly what you meant, "I'm ready to take you"

"You need to tell me what you want, sweetheart" You teased, taking a couple pumps of lube into your hand and stroking the silicone cock until it was glistening, and boy was it a sight to see.

Tate stared at you with a hazy smile on his face, as he placed his legs back onto your shoulders, "please fuck me y/n..."

And who were you to deny your baby boy that pleasure?

You positioned yourself so you were lined up directly, you were careful pushing into him, a whine leaving his lips as soon as the tip broke barricade. The strap was much bigger than just your two fingers so the stretch was much more intense and harder to get used to

"oh fuck-" Tate threw his head back, his blonde curls falling into his eyes as he brought it back down, his eyes rolled to the back of his skull

"You okay? that's just the tip." you bent over, pushing his hair from his face with your free hand and placing a kiss on his temple, to calm him down, "deep breaths, we can take a break"

The stretch was painful, but manageable, "Just stay there for a second." he winced, tears pooling in his eyes.

You took that moment to take care of his cock, poor boy had been practically soft from the moment you started fingering him, all of the new sensations were a lot for his body to keep up with. You kept a Hitachi wand in your nightstand, for your personal adventures so you decided to switch it on and put it to use on Tate "My poor angel, let me help you"

The sudden buzzing took him by surprise, but the second you pressed it to his tip he was feeling much better, you ran the vibe up and down his length, helping him get back to full hardness. His moans were soft but they came from deep in his throat.

"mm, y/n please-" his words got stuck, as you turned the vibrator up to the next setting

"please what, darling?" you couldn't help but almost sadistically giggle at him, he was so hot like this.

"please fuck me more, I need your c-cock" His cheeks were hot with embarrassment, but he didn't care at that point he just wanted more. He needed it.

You pushed in, easing the silicone further inside of him. It was no longer painful, Tate just felt full...and he loved it.

You were trying to take it slow with your strokes, but at this point Tate was eager for more, rocking his body back and forth on your cock, all by himself, chasing the feeling of fullness. The toy was practically all the way in him, before he started to feel a little bit of discomfort from the friction

you had noticed that he wasn't moving as easily, you cupped his cheek, "Tate, what's your color?"

The blonde, was grateful for the check-in, "y-yellow, I think I need some more lube"

You nodded, understanding "Oh- of course I got you" you got some more lube, warming it up in your hand and spreading it on the strap as you continued to move in and out of him, only going about half way in

"more, I want more" Tate whined, he had both of his hands on the sides of his ass, holding himself completely open for you, you gave him exactly what he wanted slipping the entire toy into his hole

The most beautiful sounds escaped from his lips as you found your pace, still holding the vibrator flush against his tip, the sound of your skin slapping together and the lube covered toy pounding the plush walls of Tate's hole creating a rhythm of passion.

Every thrust hit up against his prostate relentlessly, you could've fucked this boy forever, in fact it felt like you had just started but he could barely hold on any longer.

"y/n, i'm so close- fuck" Tate cried out trying to keep his composure as you abused his hole.

You giggled, turning the vibrator up once more, "Awwww you poor thing, are you gonna cum?" you teased

Tate could only nod and whimper and response, it was way too much for him to handle, his big teary eyes looking up at you and yearning for some direction

You pushed yourself all the way in, making sure that he was completely filled up before you let him finish "Go ahead Tate, cum for me."

You barely finished your sentence before the blonde completely exploded, whimpering while shooting white ropes all over his stomach and the wand. The room seemed to spin, as every nerve in Tate's body seemed to pulsate from how hard he came.

Although you were also tired, you managed to turn off the wand and pull the strap out, causing Tate to whine from the lack of fullness.

You managed to slip away to put the strap in the bathroom sink, so you could remember to clean it later, you made your way over to the bathtub filling it up with some warm water and lavender bubbles, you both needed it.

Tate was still in the same position when you made your way back into the room

"Are you okay, Tate?" You kissed both sides of his cheeks, wiping down the mess on his tummy with a warm washcloth, while he came down from his high.

He nodded, scrunching up his nose and leaning into the warmth of your skin, his eyes still closed.

"Here have some water," you put the straw of your water bottle into his mouth, and he happily accepted it "I'm running us a bath, you did so good sweetheart. I'm so proud of you."

He nodded again, snuggling his face into the crook of your neck, and allowing himself to be completely wrapped up in your arms while you held him and played with his hair.

You two were silent for a while, just enjoying the company of one another and waiting for the tub to fill up

Tate positioned himself right by your ear, speaking just loud enough for you to hear him "Y/n?"

"Yes my love?"

"Next time...I wanna ride you."

[alicerovai]

SPOILER ALERT EP.6

🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨

🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨

I am equally very happy and very sad with episode 6. Sad because Loki is doing exactly what he told Sylvie was his biggest fear, being alone. But happy because he finally found his purpose, Loki is not the shadow of a brother, not a villain that follows orders, not a disappointment, not a liar or an untrustworthy person.

We see him sacrificing himself once more for the greater good, once again selfless in the face of uncertainty. Loki is selfless, he is the keeper, the watcher, He who remains. Loki gives up his own happiness for his friends, Loki accepts destiny with grace. Glorious destiny he created himself in the face of uncertainty and desperation.

But as happy as I am, I cannot stop being overwhelmingly sad, because Loki only wanted to be seen, understood and loved and when he finds this he has to give up for the greater good.

Now he sits alone at the end of time watching his friends live a life he could never have but happy because after all this time Loki found his glorious purpose!

Fun fact: Mobius is NOT living a life. The others are (B-15, Casey, OB). Sylvie is (her cute little face was all saying “I’m gonna live my life, bye”). Mobius, he’s not. He’s fucking empty. “I love the TVA”, “I like this place”, etc etc. But when Loki wasn’t there anymore, he left it. He went to see his timeline, cos that was what he needed to do. But he’s a nowhere man, now. Mobius is not happy. Loki is not happy because he had to sacrifice himself, in order to let his beloved ones and the entire world live. Everyone - EXCEPT Mobius. I loved this last episode. I was crying, I’m not lying. It’s a GREAT episode and I’m glad they took this direction. Loki is a God. Gods are alone. But what makes me even more emotional is that there is a little old human TVA agent that can’t apparently live without that God. I would have been super mad if they had shown Mobius staying at the TVA or living his life like Sylvie. THAT would have been the end. But this one, this one is NOT the end. It COULD be, if they don’t want to go on. But it very much sounds like “we’re gonna see what happens and leave the door open”. The door is Lokius, y’all.

[hollyyy555]

okay guys it's been a while I have been busy out my ass BUT READING UPDATE

🚨Golden Son spoilers🚨

SEVRO KNOWS OMFG YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I WAS DREADING HIM FINDING OUT BUT HE ALREADY KNOWS I COULD CRY RN

I fucking love Sevro so much IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO HIM I'M GOING TO KMS nobody say anything, don't even insinuate, I will throw hands.

SEVRO AND DARROW ARE BESTIES FOR THE RESTIES I am so happy rn. All this cool shit happened with Darrow taking the Ash Lord's ship n shit or whatever it is, and then Quinn died IDK IF THAT WAS MEANT TO BE THE FUCKED THING AFTER THE EPIC. Cuz now that Sevro is in the fold and everything is all cool and awesome... should I be scared I DONT KNOW. I am though.

No book has ever given me this amount of anxiety. I care about these characters way too much and I don't trust Pierce not to just kill people left and right cuz HE'S ALREADY DOING THAT.

Can they just all live happily ever after now :(

Anyway, if you read all that I love you, I hope you have a wonderful day :]

[the-lokal-homo]

I'm gonna watch the new episode now, here are my thoughts:

THEY ARE GETTING MEDALS IM SO FUCKING HAPPY. THEY DESERVED IT. HEN LOOKS SOOOO GOOD

Bobby got a medal :) It's so sad how he does not except it :(

Ravi :))) MY BOY

FUCK THAT RASIST HOMOPHOBIC ASSHOLE.

WHAT IS THE COUNCIL WOMEN GOING TO DO! WHY DO I FEEL LIKE SHE WILL TAKE THERE KIDS AWAY

WHAT DO YOU MEAN RESIGNATIONS

Wanna be dead wife was on a TV show?

Sad montage moment

"MOTHER HEN"

...did Bobby just give Eddie a book of prayers?

🚨HOUSE WIFE BUCK, I REPEAT HOUSE WIFE BUCK🚨

Bobby is in dad mode

OUTING TALK GAY (gay as a umbrella term, he is bi)

Shit is hitting the fan about the dead wife double and Eddie situation

This episode is breaking my heart in every possible place

Alter ich bin so wütend wegen der council women Sache, alter ich hasse diese Frau so sehr wie kann sie das machen (angry german)

Eddie talking about his feelings? That's new!

I actually really like dead wife double. She is smart, nice and all that

Eddie talking about his feelings? That's new! (A second time)

The parents are fighting. I don't like this.i am crying I am scared about what Bobby is going to do.

I. Hate. The council woman.

Not even a single happy thing happened yet. The whole Mara situation is a nightmare

WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING WITH EDDIE?!?

Ryan's acting is just chefs' kiss. Rent was due god damn.

CHRIS SAW THEM

WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING.

The house...

IS HE HAVING A HEART ATTACK!??!

THAT'S IT ?!?? THEY CAN'T, WHAT!??

[doraambrose]

I normally don't really feel comfortable discussing NSFW topics, but I've seen an increase in a very specific type of jason todd content, mostly from one user in particular, that, to me personally, is kind of weird and inaccurate.

Disclaimer: I am in no way trying to kink shame anyone or attack anyone. As long as it's consensual, legal, and not hurting anyone, do what makes you happy. This particular subject is just not for me and this post is going to be more about my headcannons that I've based on canon events as well as my own opinion of jason todd.

🚨Warning: NSFW topics such as:

choking, rough play, foreplay, controlling and dominant behaviors during sex, crying during sex, talking during sex, talking down to someone during sex, making fun of someone during sex, vaginal sex, oral sex (female and male), daddy and mommy kinks kinks. Submissive behaviors during sex.

I've never done a trigger warning so please let me know if I did this right.

So, I've seen an increase in a particular kind of jason content, mostly fueled by like 1 or 2 specific users, portraying jason as this real rough, dominant dude who likes to degrade and choke during sex. I don't really like blocking people, but I might have to block these users. Don't get me wrong, they're not doing anything wrong, it just makes me uncomfortable, personally, as someone who's not into choking or stuff like that. and they don't put the read more line so you kind of have to see it when you're scrolling. I also find it completely inaccurate. Like the people requesting these and writing these looked at one or two images of jason but don't really know anything about the character themselves. So, I'm gonna put some of my own headcannons as someone who has studied this dude for a few years now:

First, Judd Winnick has confirmed over Twitter that jason cries during sex. Now obviously, judd winnick doesn't own Jason and many writers have their own interpretation, but winnick is basically the father and creator of post resurrection Jason and kind of set the blueprint for his behaviors, beliefs, etc. So for that reason, when he posts his own headcannons about jason, I feel more obligated (if that's the right word) to kind of accept it as canon, even when it's really not.

It also just makes sense. It's not as widely talked about, but it's very normal and natural to cry after an orgasm. Sex for a lot of people is considered a very intimate act and an orgasm is like an explosion of pleasure. It can be a little much for people, especially those who haven't experienced it alot, and some people (like myself) don't always know how to handle that much stimulus and feeling all at once and crying is a normal reaction to that. And jason is someone who's not the most intimate person.

Second, I feel like Jason is inexperienced. A lot of these blurbs have him knowing exactly what to do, what spots to hit, totally experienced and "professional". We're talking about a guy who spent 12 years in poverty, 3 years as robin while also being in school, dead, and then training with the league while battling mental illness, ptsd, brain damage, etc. And then in under the red hood, he's very focused on his plan. Even after that in general, he's with the outlaws, on a case, you name it. Dude is always busy with something work wise. I don't see him having a lot of time and energy to be fucking enough to not be awkward.

Speaking of awkward, I've always headcannoned that dude has ZERO rizz. All the reasons I mentioned above, he's probably super socially awkward. That dude is definitely terrible at dirty talk like the stuff I see in those blurbs. I mean, even Isabel has canonically said jason is not a very good kisser.

Third, I DOUBT he's into choking or being rough. All the abuse and shit he's been through, i headcannon that he is more like the opposite. It's intimate, relaxed, soft, etc. He can get a little intense, but not rough or anything.

He's probably actually what some would consider "boring". Pretty standard missionary stuff, maybe sometimes he's getting ridden , probably has oral and stuff, but he does not strike me as a kinky guy

Dude also probably has a normal average dick. I've seen some "8 inches" type shit. Really? 8 inches? I don't remember exactly what the average is in the us, but I'm pretty sure it's like 5 or 6inches.

I can't explain this one, but it's a pretty common headcannon for no real reason, but the vibes, jason is an ass and thighs man. Enough said.

As much as I'd love to think he's the kind of guy who loves spooning and all that, I feel like he's actually the opposite. Bare minimum aftercare kind of stuff and then he's back in his own head again.

I apologize for the explicit subject matter. There's probably more that I'm not thinking of off the top of my head, but those are the big ones for me. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk

[just-a-girl-who-likes-sharks]

March 2025 books 💜

+ “The Way We Met”, short story from Amber Smith following the events of “The Way I am Now”

*Note: I will not go in complete order of books read and will keep Sunrise on the Reaping for last. My review will contain spoilers*

Heavenly Tyrant (Xiran Jay Zhao) - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

This book was the first of the month and may have helped me discover my new favourite genre in fantasy/sci-fi books! Enemies to lovers? Pf, who is she? Make room for enemies to reluctant allies to frustrated fuck buddies to toxic obsession to self-sacrifice-to-fuck-up-the-system to backstabbing-when-it-actually-works. Holy shit this book was amazing!

Moi qui n’ai pas connu les hommes (Jacqueline Harpman) - I who have never known men - ⭐️⭐️⭐️,5

I wanna explain how we got here first. I learned about this book through BookTok and wanted to read it. So I looked it up and thought “why the fuck is this a 25 euros paperback?!” And then I looked up the author and found out she’s Belgian????? I’m Belgian!!! And she wrote the book originally in French??!? I speak French! Plus I’ve been on a quest to read one French (language, not origin) book a month so… it was a sign. Plus the French paperback was like 7 euros, there was no hesitation there.

Now, onto the book itself. I wanna start by saying that this book was VERY frustrating because what do you mean we never get any actual answers to all these burning questions?? Who locked them up? Why were they locked up? Where were they? Where was everyone else? Why in groups of 40? Why was there only one child? Why were they seperated by sex?? All these questions and we learn NOTHING.

I get it, this is a book about community, about society and humanity. But still! Where are my answers???

The Way I Used to Be (Alber Smith) - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

This book has made me cry three times. The first time was when Eden first went to Josh’s place and all that happened. The second was when Eden recounted the memory of what happened that night in freshman year and the third time was when she told her brother.

I also nearly threw this book across the room four times. The first was at the start, the day after it happened, and her mum just cleaned everything up because she assumed Eden was on her period. The second time was when Josh ended things with Eden. Don’t get me wrong, he was more than justified, but still… it was bad. The third time was when Kevin assaulted Eden again the next year at Christmas. The fourth time was when we reached part four of the book and Eden referred to her parents by their first names and they still didn’t realize something was wrong with their child. That girl slept on the floor for 4 years and no one noticed and that alone makes me want to cry a fourth time.

This book is such a good read. It’s a necessary read, it’s an important story that has to be told and it was done in such a beautiful and heartbreaking way. I just loved it.

The Way I am Now (Amber Smith) - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I cannot believe there wasn’t an actual verdict in this book. It makes me mad. That alone means this book didn’t get 5 stars. The rest was good though.

The Way We Met (Amber Smith) - ⭐️⭐️⭐️

This felt more like an epilogue than a short story. But it was listed as a book on StoryGraph and was free to read online so I’m not complaining and now have an extra book to add to my reading wrap up so win win if you ask me.

Sunrise on the Reaping (Suzanne Collins) - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

🚨Second spoiler warning: this review will contain spoilers🚨

When I was reading this book, I felt like Suzanne Collins had seen all the glorification Snow got after Ballad and decided to make it clear once and for all how awful of a human being he is. None of his actions showed this as much as the Louella/Lou Lou situation.

Suzanne Collins wrote this book with several messages in mind. There was, of course, the obvious one about propaganda. And she really did manage to get that gotcha moment because all of us readers went into this thinking we already knew how Haymitch’s Games went because Katniss watched the tape back in Catching Fire. All this proved is that we also fell for the Capitol popaganda. Don’t worry and don’t feel bad, doing this was precisely the point.

I also think that for every thirst trap of Coriolanus that Suzanne Collins saw on social media, she took her frustration out on Haymitch. How else could ALL of this happen to someone? From the rigged reaping to the chariot race disaster to losing Louella to taunting Snow to getting a hijacked child who looks just like Louella and is there to replace her, to getting the lowest score in Hunger Games history to winning the Games (no one ever wins the Games) to seeing that all he worked for was lost because they cut and glued the Games in a way that twisted everything that happened, to locking him up with only bread and milk for over a week to sending him home to find his house on fire with his family still inside to meeting Lenore Dove and poisoning her with gumdrops, curtesy of the Capitol and not the District 12 sweet shop as he first thought. How does all of this happen to one person?!

This book also did a great deal of fan service. Putting Wiress and Mags in this book to mentor the District 12 kids was genius and it explains Haymitch’s fondness for them in the original series. Beetee, on the other hand, I find harder to believe. This is partly due to the movie adaptation as well. But ehm, how old is Beetee supposed to be? Because if his kid is 12 in this book and he won his Games 16 years ago at age 16 and we’ll assume he had his kid when he was 18, that makes him 34 during this book and nearly 60 in Catching Fire and that doesn’t sit right with me.

The whole Covey thing was also blatant fan service. Katniss now being confirmed as a descendant from the Covey changes nothing about her story, it only links her with Lucy Gray. Speaking of Lucy Gray… THERE’S A FUCKING GRAVE????? Is it just there as a memorial or. Is she actually in there? The peope need ro know, Suzanne!!!

On to Plutarch Heavensbee and Effie Trinket. Firstly, I loved seeing them here, although my first reaction to the former was “what the fuck is he doing here?” Still, I enjoyed these little moments, learning more about his family and finding out he’s been a rebel for years. I also saw the messaging there, by the way. The Heavensbees have a big library filled with books no one’s ever read because they’re so old and stuff, and he’s the one in the Capitol in with the rebels? Reading is political and Plutarch embodied this in the book and I fucking loved it and it’s fucking genius. Then there’s Effie, who is the polar opposite of Plutarch as she believes in the Capitol’s propaganda. As a human she understands the Games are wrong, but as a Capitol citizen she still thinks they are a necessary evil to maintain order and peace. Effie, one of my favourite characters in the original trilogy, is the embodiment of the effects of propaganda. And it was very well done.

Then, there’s the whole sabotage plot. I am convinced this plan was never meant to succeed. It was only planned to see if it would work. If succeeding was the goal, there would have been more of a plan than “blow up the tank”. It also doesn’t make any sense to not have a backup plan in place. What was the idea here? Blow up the tank and flood the arena and then what? What would this accomplish? That’s right, nothing! That being said, adding this in the story did mean a lot. First of all, it explains why they only succeeded in stopping the Games during the 75th Games: it’s because Plutarch, who was head gamemaker here, was in the middle of everything and could help destroy everything. It also explains why Beetee, for example, was so strong with the rebels. Although I do have a hard time imagining he helped with the flooding plan and the Capitol allowed him to live for 25 more years. I also have a hard time believing that in these 25 years, Beetee never tried again. He was a mentor for his District, he was right there in the Capitol every year!

Finally, I want to conclude that president Snow is, perhaps, the most evil characters I have ever read about. And I’m glad that, as Haymitch put it, someone much luckier than him managed to stop the sun from rising on the reaping again.

[lil-panda-pup]

Rant:

WHY CANT I GO TO THE FUCKING GYM IN PEACE!

🚨🚨🚨MEN OR REALLY ANYONE - IF SOMEONE IS VERY SHORT WITH THEIR ANSWERS AND HAS REPEATEDLY TOLD YOU THEY ARE NOT INTERESTED AND TO PLEASE FUCK OFF PLEASE LEAVE THEM ALONE!!!!!🚨🚨🚨

I now get to find a new gym location bc this creep won't leave me alone after a full week of me telling him to fuck off and me telling the gym staff he's harassing me nothing is being done.

Every day he has made it a point to come up to me and ask me out even tho I've told him I'm not interested and have a boyfriend.

He questions me daily on if I'm being honest or still am with my boyfriend.

I try to move away from him and he follows me, he is makes it a point to get on the equipment directly next to me or hovers and stares from a few feet away.

I made the mistake of having something from my work on me and now he knows where I work and made it a point to note that he knows where I work.

I am incredibly uncomfortable and honestly just want to cry, it is hard enough to find time and motivation to go to the gym without this. I don't even know what to do at this point bc I feel like no one is taking it seriously.

[lixenn]

🚨INTRUDER ALERT! I REPEAT THERE'S AN INTRUDER ON VONGOLA PREMISES. But you're just some poor civilian dork with no combat experience. So quick! Where do you hide?

Ah yes, that one is a bit tricky, so I’ve decided to switch things up a bit.

Have a snippet!

----------

I stared at the door that Gokudera had so rudely shut in my face.

It was a nice door, solid oak polished to shine. But there was no time to admire the architectural wonders of the Vongola mansion, it was time to panic.

“What do you mean there’s an INTRUDER?” I tried opening the door with no results, he locked it behind him. Probably for my safety but that didn’t stop my claustrophobia from creeping in. “HEY GOKUDERA! OPEN UP!”

The door had the audacity to stay closed.

Well, I’m fucked.

“Okay, calm down Lix. You have survived a pandemic, four years’ worth of final exams and the insanity of the German public transport system. You can deal with this.”

The silence was interrupted by a noise that sounded suspiciously like an explosion.

“NOPE! SO NOT DEALING WITH THIS!” I felt like crying. Why am I here again? Ah yes, some psycho up above got bored and has thrown me into this world for shit and giggles. Glaring at the ceiling didn’t help me get out of the room, but it did improve my mood. “Fuck you!” I gave the ceiling the middle finger for good measure. “I hope some of your God buddies shove a cactus so far up your ass that you’ll choke on its needles, you sadistic piece of shit!”

Another explosion drove me away from my rant and dragged me back into my panic attack.

“Oh my god, oh my god, ohmyfuckinggod! I’m going to die right here, in some godforsaken library surrounded by … books.” I stopped hyperventilating and looked around the room. Rows upon rows of bookshelves greeted me, each of them filled to the brim with reading goodies.

“Actually,” I hummed. “This might not be such a terrible place for a last stand.”

Concentrating on the books made breathing a bit easier. Books are great! We love books! They’re filled with knowledge and give us the happy chemicals, what’s not to like?

My eyes fell onto the ladder leaning against a shelf.

…

Well, that’s an idea.

With a goal in mind, the panic finally took a backseat. I stepped towards the ladder determined to follow Obi-wan’s words of wisdom. On my way there, I noticed the antique reading lamp decorating one of the desks. It was as elaborate as the rest of the décor but more importantly, it looked heavy.

Perfect weapon material.

I grabbed the lamp and tucked it under my arm. Then, I climb up the ladder with great difficulty (the lamp was indeed quite unwieldy).

I somehow made it up the bookshelf without falling from the ladder and breaking several bones, which was a relief because I would have died out of embarrassment before the intruders could have even gotten to me.

Finding a position on the top that gave me a direct view of the door was a matter of moments and I settled in to wait, gripping my makeshift weapon like a baseball bat.

I have the high ground now, bitches.

[elixirfromthestars]

MOLLIE I AM DECEASED!!! MY BREATH WAS ABSOLUTELY STOLEN ALONG WITH MY HEART!!! AND ITS ALL BECAUSE OF YOU!!!! 🚑🚨❤️🚑🚨❤️🚑🚨❤️

By far not your best work??? EXCUSE ME ☝️🤨 but I strongly disagree because this was JAW DROPPING GOOD 🥵❤️❤️ (and panty dropping as well 🫣🤭💗)

(I apologize in advance if any of my comments make no sense lol I’m under heavy medication because of my wisdom teeth surgery so…. 🤪)

Where do I start? Where do I start? When I read the summary and the warnings I knew I was in for the ride of my life 😮‍💨🪭

Please let me at Dr.Parker 😡 treating Bucky like that and making him cry???? 😡😡 the audacity that man has like he needs to be HUMBLED

And I am so here for Bucky’s revenge 🤭💗💗💗

The way Honey 🍯 and Bucky teeter and go back and forth for awhile was *chefs kiss* 🥰 She’s so much stronger than me because if he called me his favorite girl, told me in that voice he wasn’t into college girls, and then squeezed my hip?!?!?!?! 🥵❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥 I would’ve folded, screw the wedding band 🙅🏻‍♀️💍

These interactions were just considered harmless flirting to you. Bucky knew you had no idea that he went home and fucked his fist, replaying these exact moments in his head. He licked his lips with a groan. "I bet she is."

^ I— 🫠💗💓💗💓 I need a moment 🥵🪭

"Honey." Bucky held your hand, rubbing his thumb over your skin. "Just tell me what to do and I'll help you. I'm all yours."

^ Do you know how much I love a man that’s like I know you can do it, but I want to do it for you???? 🥹💕💕💕 So Bucky offering to help in ways like getting the food from the oven was the sweetest to me 🥺❤️❤️

Treating his son like that 😡 oh Dr.Parker if I had been your wife OOF 😡😡 He’s such an asshole 😤

Oh, I was on the edge of my seat when I realized Bucky and Honey would finally be left alone 🤭❤️❤️ *giggling and kicking me feet in anticipation* 💕

"I don't believe you." Bucky backed you against the sink, trapping you with his arms on each side of your waist. "I think," he rasped, teasingly trailing his fingers up the bare skin of your arms. "That you would let me bend you over this counter right here and fuck you senseless."

^ AHHHHHHHHH ITS HAPPENING!!!! 🚨❤️🚨❤️🚨❤️

Okay, the way he calls Honey pretty mama has me weak in the knees and the fact that he wants to be called James I just ahhh 🥰❤️❤️

The smirk that donned Bucky's face was lethal. He had you right where he wanted you. And yet his eye rolled back all the same, savouring the flutter of your tight hole around him. "This is all for you, baby," he breathily whispered, bullying his way deeper into your pussy. "Get me so fuckin' hard everytime I see you. Cookin' in them pretty little dresses. Just wanna lift your skirt up and fuck you wherever I want."

^ You want to end me, right? Kill me? Be the death of me? 🫠❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥 You are about to accomplish that because this is too hot and too much in the best way!!!!! ❣️❣️❣️❣️

"What's'a matter, baby?" Bucky mocked. "Thought you were a big girl, huh? Can't handle me?" Your reply was instant. "I can! I can, I promise, I promise!" "Then shut the fuck up and take it."

^ 🫣❣️❤️‍🔥 That’s it!! You did it!! I’m deceased!! My heart has officially stopped!!! I no longer have a pulse!!!! The way you wrote this Bucky with such a filthy mouth has ended me 🚑🚨❤️🚑🚨❤️🚑🚨❤️🚑🚨❤️

And the fact that he’s doing her so good she can’t speak OMG 🤭🫠🥵🥰 I’m a melted puddle on the ground at this point like this is so good I’m officially honey on the floor 🍯💛💛💛

Oh, so his revenge was to record oh my— 🤭💗💗 What I would have done to see Dr.Parker’s face when he saw it 😈

Thrust. "I've been such," thrust. "A good,” thrust. "Boy."

^ EXCUSE ME 😦❤️❤️❤️❤️ Oh, the things this simple sentence did to me 🥵❤️‍🔥

They say revenge is a dish best served cold. But I like mine warm, tight and sweet. Just like Honey.

^ What an absolutly perfect way to end it!! Omg!!! 🤭❤️❤️❤️ I bet Honey and Bucky have the best times now don’t they? 👀💗💗 Please tell me she divorced that asshole!! 🥺

I need like a week to recover from this omg Mollie I think you’ve awakened some things in me 🫣❣️❣️ This was written so well, the pace, the detail, the dialogue, the premise, omg everything about this was amazing!!! ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥 You have me absolutely crazy over here, Mollie!! I love your writing so much!!! 🍯💛💛 Thank you for being here and blessing us with your writing!! 🥺🫶🏼✨

^ Someone come resuscitate me please 🫠❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

Revenge Sweeter Than Honey

Pairing: College!Bucky Barnes x MILF!Reader

Word Count: 9.2k

Summary: When Bucky’s professor unfairly grades his college assignment, ruining his perfect GPA, he finds a way to get revenge — And doesn’t his sweet little wife look delicious?

Warnings: Bucky POV, revenge plot, age gap, older!reader, flirting, cheating, kissing, smut, mommy kink, nipple play, oral sex (fem receiving), ass play, spanking, p in v sex, recording of sex, cum play.

Author’s Note: Unbeta’d. Dividers by @saradika. Hi, lovelies! It’s been a while 🤍 This is by far not my best work, but I started it at the beginning of the year and finally finished it and decided to let it go before I convince myself not to post it.

Also, I have little to no knowledge about the education system outside of the UK, since I’m British. So please excuse any facts I may have gotten wrong, this was purely for the smut 😅

The arms of the leather chair Bucky was sitting on creaked, straining under the tense grip of his fingers. Fury coursed through every muscle of his body, boiling his blood until he was sure steam was blowing out of his ears. 

He had been sitting in his professor’s office for thirty whole minutes and not once had the man had the decency to look him in the eye and tell him a good enough reason for the C- marked on his most recent assignment. Thinking about it, he wasn’t even sure if his professor had ever made eye contact with him before; certain that he wouldn’t be able to recognise him if he ever looked at him. 

Bucky was a straight A student, working towards the perfect GPA to graduate with full honors and claim the job of his dreams. And yet, the second since his professor had licked his finger and slapped the stack of papers — stained with a ring of coffee that wasn’t there when he handed it in — on Bucky’s desk, his whole world had been turned upside down. 

He remembered his frenzy, the whirlwind of erratically flicking through each page and trying to find a single comment or suggestion that could help explain the low grade. But there was nothing. Only a forbidden red-inked C- that had taunted him ever since. 

Immediately, Bucky had booked an office session, since his professor was strict on the rules of when and where to discuss anything other than current class material. There must have been a mistake he reasoned with himself in the beginning — maybe a mix up with another student or maybe his professor had missed a chunk of his work because surely that godforsaken C- wasn’t right. 

However, Bucky soon came to realise in the thirty long minutes of his office session, that it wasn’t a mistake. In fact, it was the most generous grade received of the whole class. 

“Sir.” He attempted once again to get through to his professor. “With all due respect, I worked extremely hard on his assignment. Every variable is valid, I ran through each test multiple times to gain an accurate representation. My method has been executed perfectly.” He swallowed the dryness in his throat. “I can’t understand why I’ve been graded so low.” 

Dr Parker couldn’t have seemed less interested if he tried, the keys of his computer clicking away aimlessly as his brown eyes were glued to the screen. “For the last time, if you don’t understand what is wrong with your assignment, then I can’t help you.” 

Bucky discreetly gritted his teeth and squeezed his eyes shut in frustration. The logic his professor spewed made absolutely no sense. He took a calming breath before he responded. “I’m not sure I can understand what exactly is wrong with my work if there’s no feedback to go off, Sir.”  

Dr Parker sighed, seemingly fed up with the conversation. “It's not for me to serve you on a silver platter. If you want a mentor who gives you a free ride or has to hold your hand through a grade then it seems like college isn’t the place for you, James.”

The material of the chair almost ripped where Bucky’s nails began to furiously dig in. He never wanted a hand to hold or a free ride during his time in college; the bare minimum he expected was to at least have some kind of evaluation or support that offered more than a lousy grade that wasn’t fair. 

Out of options, he desperately pleaded with his professor once again. “Sir, all I’m asking for is a reason for my grade being low. My GPA has been perfect all year and this assignment has made it take a huge hit. Please understand.”

Still, Dr Parker continued uselessly typing away without looking at him. “There’s nothing I can do for you, Mr Barnes.”

Bucky’s words came out jumbled as he jumped to offer an alternative. “What about— What if I did something for extra credit! You know? Just for— to boost my GPA back up?”

“That won’t be necessary.”  

Bucky was at the end of his tether and his throat began to tighten. “Please, Sir—I need—“ 

“What you need to do is move on from this assignment and work harder on the next one.” Dr Parker interrupted him coldly as he suddenly stood, packing his papers into his satchel. “My office hours are over and I have somewhere to be, so if you wouldn’t mind shutting the door behind you when you leave that would be great. Goodbye.” With that, his professor walked around the desk and out of the door without a second glance. 

Tears sprung to Bucky’s eyes while he sat there, staring mindlessly at the now empty chair behind the desk in front of him. He forced the lump building in his chest down, never having felt so defeated in his life. Throughout his years of education, he had sacrificed, placed everything that wasn’t important on the back burner; holidays, parties, normal friendships, just to put his future career first and for what? For one complete asshole to decide he didn’t care enough about his job or students to fuck him over? 

He shot out of his seat and paced over the carpeted floor. All of his dedication to his studies had been pointless — the thought burned through his mind and wounded him. All his life he had worked hard and this is how he had been repaid. The soles of his shoes thudded heavily until he came to a stop, running his hands down his face in despair. 

When Bucky opened his eyes, he blinked until his blurred vision became clear, finding himself in front of the floor to ceiling bookcase that panned over the length of the full wall. Sighing at a complete loss on what to do, his eye flitted over the polished ornaments in front of him.

As he trailed over the neatly placed trophies and certificates, a scoff left his mouth — bitter and venomous. Every one of the awarded achievements built his resentment even more. The pretentiousness was aggravating. 

He was about to walk away, go for a stroll with some fresh air to try and cool himself down and think properly. But just as he was going to leave, his eagle eye caught a small wooden picture frame shoved to the very back corner of the shelf, hardly noticeable with everything else taking front and center and ultimately hiding it. 

Bucky glanced over his shoulder, making sure his professor had really left before stepping forward. His nosiness had gotten the better of him and now his interest was peaked. Careful not to knock over any ornaments, he plucked out the frame and blew off the dust that had accumulated over the picture for god knows how long. 

To his surprise, it was a photograph of Dr Parker, many years younger and dressed in a tuxedo. Next to him, a stunning woman with the biggest smile on her face, dressed in an ivory, white dress. 

Bucky’s eyes flew wide open while his jaw unhinged in shock. 

Dr Parker had a wife?

Now that he thought about it, his professor did wear a gold band around his finger; one that the sun caught during a lecture one time and blinded Bucky enough to choke while he was drinking his coffee. 

Studying the photo some more, Bucky only focused on the woman, one with kind eyes, pretty lips and a body to kill for; silhouetted in a gown that complimented her figure amazingly. He was utterly blown away. 

The picture was at least ten years old, he summarised. His professor looked way younger than he did now, with frown lines and dark circles underneath his eyes. But he couldn’t get over how beautiful his wife was and how the hell he had managed to snag her with his douchebag personality. His mind ran a million miles per hour. 

For all Bucky knew, you could have been just like your husband; just as dull and just as unbearable. It was only rational, because no one in their right mind would willingly be with a man like that. 

He stared at you through the glass and tilted his head in thought, until the cogs started to turn. What if? he asked himself. What if he got his comeuppance somehow? 

As soon as the thought presented itself, he batted it away, shaking his head and placing the photo frame back in its place. 

But as he stood the frame upon the shelf, his hand stayed with it, unable to let go of the nagging idea that had now taken root in his mind. 

What if you were his perfect route for revenge? 

Looking out towards the window of the office, the setting sun beamed in. Bucky followed the streams of light that shined through, one landing on another photograph, larger in size of a chocolate haired boy with bright eyes. While he resembled Dr Parker, the boy’s eyes were all yours, kind and filled with light. The kid looked around the same age as himself, in a lab coat that had the same emblem as Bucky’s college. 

A plan began to quickly form in his mind, each piece and detail intricately connected together to create the most beautiful retribution. The biggest fuck you to his professor for screwing him over. 

Bucky sheathed his hands into his front pockets, running his tongue over his teeth with the most evil grin on his face. Dr Parker was going to get what he rightfully deserved. 

Vengeance.

Having met up after their last classes of the day, Bucky followed Peter into his home when he opened the door, the droolworthy aroma of a home cooked meal slinking into his senses and making his stomach grumble. 

It was now routine for him to come round to the Parker residence every week on a Friday afternoon. Once you found out your son had a new friend at college, you had extended the invitation to Bucky as Peter had recited. And of course, it would be rude of him to refuse. 

The execution of his plan had come together seamlessly, almost too perfectly. It was just his luck that a clumsy Peter Parker happened to bump into Bucky on campus in a rush to his next class, spilling his coffee onto the ground and offering to buy him a new one. 

Since then, he had made it his mission to become closer to Peter and soon enough, it was the night of his first dinner with you. 

Before that first meeting, he had drilled it into his head that his scheme of revenge was strictly business; to get in and out and call it a day. But that went down the drain when he rounded the corner to the kitchen to introduce himself and he choked on his words when you spun around on your heels. 

Bucky still remembered that moment, the first time he laid eyes on you in the cutest sundress, decorated with daisies that hugged your waist sinfully. The way your tits practically spilled out the damn thing stuck with him too. 

You were a vision, a sight for sore eyes — the photograph in his professor’s office did not do you justice even with ten years added on. Then, as soon as you bounced over to him and pulled him into a hug that made his dick hard, his initial intentions went out the window. He was a goner and he knew one time wouldn’t be enough of you.

However, when it came down to dinner, Bucky was admittedly nervous. It wasn’t only just meeting you in the flesh and having his expectations blown out of the water that threw him off balance, the inevitable of seeing his professor outside of college worried him. His plan for revenge could have fallen through as soon as he met him. They almost did. If that would have been the case, Bucky wasn’t sure what his next steps would be.  

But when he sat down at the dining table, his professor had only just noticed another guest in his home. Bucky remembered the slight sweat of his palms, the dryness of his throat as your husband looked at him over his newspaper and cocked his head; a familiarity brewing between them. Those couple of seconds lasted longer than he cared for. Then, unexpectedly, Dr Parker brushed him off and went straight back to reading his paper — evidently deeming Bucky unrecognisable and only a new friend of his son’s.  

That memory still offended him slightly. There wasn’t a hint of recognition, even though he had fucked Bucky’s chances of attaining his dream career. 

Snapping out of his memory, Bucky quickly shook his jacket off, taking care to hang it neatly on the coat rack and made a beeline to the kitchen. 

“Dude. I know you like my mom’s cooking but damn.” Peter shook his head with laughter but Bucky ignored him in favour of something of much higher importance. 

Stepping into the kitchen, he immediately found you balancing on your tiptoes, trying to reach the spice rack on the highest shelf. The skirt of your dress inched up your thighs and he couldn’t help but stare unabashedly at a sneak peak of your white g-string. 

Clearing his throat, Bucky held out his arms wide and acted casual with a wide smile. “Where’s my favourite girl?” 

His heart jumped as you snapped your head around, grinning wide once you saw who it was. “Bucky!” you cheerfully sang. “Hi, sweetie. I’m so happy you made it.” 

You have no idea how happy I am to see you too, he groaned internally. “What do you take me for? Like I would ever miss your cookin’, Mrs Parker,” he teased aloud. 

Raising an eyebrow playfully, you cocked your hip and crossed your arms over each other. “What have I told you about that, hm? Call me Honey, sweetheart. All my friends do.” 

Bucky held his arms up to placate you. “Forgive me. Your food is too damn good to pass up, Honey.” 

You rolled your eyes lightheartedly and turned back around to try and pluck the thyme from the top shelf. “You and that charm, boy. You’re gonna be the death of some poor college girl one day.” 

Noticing your struggle, Bucky took the opportunity to come up behind you and reach over your head. His lips perfectly aligned with your ear and so with a sly hand to your waist, he grabbed the jar of herbs and placed them onto the counter in front of you while he whispered, “What if I’m not into college girls?” 

Bucky heard the sharp inhale you tried so hard to smother, but it was useless with the proximity between you. It was instinct to then squeeze your hip, listening for your sweet whimper he lived to be the cause of. 

The moment lasted only a couple seconds longer until Peter called out for you from the hallway. “Hi, Mom. We’re home if you hadn’t already noticed.” 

Breaking away from Bucky sharply, you held a shaky hand to your chest. “H-Hey P, how was your week?” 

Small incidents as such repeated themselves every week. You and Bucky would find yourselves — or he would create them — in intimate, dangerous positions that wouldn’t be explainable to your son or your husband should they ever catch you. 

Which only made the game all the more exciting for him.

“Mom,” Peter whined while he walked into the kitchen. “Can you please not call me that when I have friends around?” 

Bucky held his laughter behind his hand when you passed your son by, pinching his cheek and putting on a baby voice. “Oh, but you’re just so cute!” 

However, that smile was soon wiped away from his face when the front door opened, immediately slamming shut with a loud bang. “I’m home, Honey,” your husband yelled. 

Your name on another man’s lips left a sour taste in Bucky’s mouth. He had come to learn that your nickname was born from your old college roommate who had affectionately bestowed it upon you after your love of baking dessert treats. 

The story was adorable, one he had soaked in with all the details you offered him. But your husband and his boring, monotonous tone turned even the sweetest name into something unpleasant. 

With his keen eye, Bucky had spotted the fake smile you plastered on your face to greet your husband, even when he walked straight past you without a hug or a kiss and into his usual chair at the dining table. 

“Glad your home safe, love,” you quickly offered him a half assed hello and headed back towards the kitchen to grab the meat out of the oven. 

“Hey.” Bucky shot forward before you could grab the handle and slid the oven mitts laying on the counter onto his hands. “I got this, don’t worry about it.” 

You paused to look at him like he had grown another head. “Bucky, I've done this a million times. I’m perfectly capable.” 

“I know you are, beautiful.” He didn’t miss the way your lips parted from his compliment, reserved for your moments alone. “Doesn’t mean you should have to. Lemme do it, please.” 

It didn’t take much for you to relent, already flustered enough to give in to him. Stepping aside, you made room for Bucky to take the dish out of the oven and place it on the worktop. 

“Smells fuckin’ delicious, Honey.” You gently swatted his arm for his colourful language, but he couldn’t help test the waters as he stared directly into your eyes. “Hopefully tastes as good as she looks.” 

What he didn’t expect was for you to retort back with a quick wit. “Oh, don’t worry about that. She’s as juicy as they get.” 

These interactions were just considered harmless flirting to you. Bucky knew you had no idea that he went home and fucked his fist, replaying these exact moments in his head. He licked his lips with a groan. “I bet she is.” 

“Where the hell is this damn food, woman? I’m eating away here!” your husband barked from the dining table. 

Bucky gritted his teeth while he watched you bow your head in embarrassment. “Just plating up now. It won’t be much longer, dear!” 

Turning back to Bucky, you smiled apologetically. “Sorry about that, he gets a little grumpy when he’s hungry.” 

He couldn’t believe you were apologising for that son of a bitch, though this was a regular occurrence by now; excusing your husband’s wrongdoings even if you were ashamed of it. 

Placing his hand over yours, Bucky told you firmly, “Don’t think for one second that you have to apologise to me, Honey.” The next words he grumbled under his breath. “Especially never on behalf of that fucker.”

Your free hand smoothed over the skirt of your dress, a nervous habit of yours when you were upset. 

Bucky recognised your unease and took initiative to derail the conversation. “What do you need me to take?” he asked while rolling the sleeves of his shirt up. 

You looked at him then, quick to protest and shake your head. “No, sweetheart. You’ve done enough, honestly. Go sit down and—”

“Honey.” Bucky held your hand, rubbing his thumb over your skin. “Just tell me what to do and I’ll help you. I’m all yours.”

Sighing defeatedly, you nodded your head to the foil covered dishes on top of the counter. “The vegetables and mashed potatoes could do with taking to the table.” 

Bucky grinned wide, all teeth and brought your hand up to place a kiss to the back of it. “Good girl.” 

A shudder ran down your spine that he didn’t miss, the hitch of your breath that blew the front strands of his hair giving you away. With a wink, he backed away to grab the dishes, piling them in his arms, along with a couple extra to take to the dining table. 

Soon enough, a full roast dinner was set out, steaming hot and ready to be eaten. 

Peter was already sitting on the chair by his Dad’s side, speaking animatedly about his recent discoveries on his science assignment for class. You always sat opposite your husband, which meant the only free seat that Bucky could take was opposite Peter and next to you. 

Not that he was complaining. 

He steadily pulled the chair out and sat down. It wasn’t exactly a coincidence that he brushed against you, not when he shuffled his chair as close as possible to you without raising suspicion. “Everything looks incredible,” he whispered as he leaned into you. 

The grip you had on your cutlery faltered. Bucky reveled in your bashfulness, always competing with himself to see how much he could make you squirm. So he smirked when you gulped, peeking at him from the corner of your eye. “T-Thank you, Bucky.” 

Your son‘s voice brought you out of your flustered state “—So I was right, Dad! My results actually confirmed my hypothesis.”

You cleared your throat and chimed in cheerfully when your husband only answered with an uninterested hum. “That’s amazing news, P!” With a stern tone, you addressed your husband this time. “Aren’t you proud of him, love?”  

But instead of congratulating him, your husband turned the page of his newspaper while shoveling food into his mouth. “Mhm. He did good, I guess.”

Luckily, Peter didn’t notice or bat an eye to his father. Bucky had witnessed over the few weeks he had been invited over for dinner that your son had enough support from you alone to keep his spirits uplifted. 

You decided not to bite and move on with the conversation, mouth open about to speak when your husband suddenly laid his newspaper down and spoke over you. “You know, I’ve had the worst week at work.” 

Frustrated, your fingers clenched tightly around your knife. “Oh yeah?”

Dr Parker blew out an irritating sigh. “The students this week—god—I had a flock of them at my door, complaining about their grades being too low.” 

Bucky felt the blood in his veins begin to boil. Normally he would tune out the grating voice of your husband, but he couldn’t help but listen to something that directly involved him — unknowingly to his professor. 

“I mean, I can’t help that their work isn’t up to par. What do they want me to do? Mollycoddle them?” he scoffed. “If they come crying to me for help all the time then they may as well cut their losses and drop out. They’re only wasting their own money.” 

The loud clink of your cutlery dropping against the plate cut through the tense atmosphere. “Are you serious right now?” 

“Dad,” Peter cringed, obviously uncomfortable. “You can’t say that.” 

“I’m not saying anything that’s not true.” Dr Parker shrugged. 

“It is your job to guide your students—who are paying thousands for their education by the way—and give them feedback to help them improve,” you shot back, heatedly.

Bucky’s chest puffed out in pride. Though he couldn’t outwardly say anything, he was proud of you for inadvertently defending him — even if you didn’t know it. 

Your husband’s tone turned biting towards you, however. “I’m not their babysitter, Honey.” 

But you stood your ground. “No you’re not. You’re their teacher and they look to you for guidance. It's the bare minimum your job requires.” 

A weighted silence fell over the dinner table while you and your husband glared at each other until the chime of a text cut through the awkwardness. 

Dr Parker retrieved his phone from his pocket and read his message. After a couple of seconds, he wiped his mouth with a napkin and threw it onto  his plate. “I’ve got to go back into the office. Emergency.”  

“What?” you asked in disbelief. “But you’ve only just come home.” 

“Well, unlike some, I can’t just slack off at home all day.” 

Bucky watched out of the corner of his eye as your mouth dropped open in shock at your husband’s barely hidden jab. Unrestrained anger filled his veins as he had to hold back. Though the urge to fly over the table at Dr Parker was hanging on by a thread. 

Is this what life was like at home for you? A husband who so obviously didn’t care for you while you made his life as comfortable as possible. And Peter, a son who held his tongue while he stiffly carried on eating his dinner and not defending his own mother?

Bucky looked to you as you quickly regathered yourself, blinking away the tears building over your waterline and pretending like you weren’t hurt. 

Your husband passed over his harmful statement as nonchalantly as he said it while lifting out of his seat. “Don’t wait up for me, I’ll be home late.” 

And just as rudely as he came home, he walked out, the slam of the door reverberating through the house. 

It wasn’t a minute after that when Peter also received a text. After reading the message, his eyes lit up with excitement. Bucky knew well enough what that face meant — Peter was getting lucky. “Hey mom, is it okay if I go out? Hang with my friends for the night?” 

The dinner you laboured over had already gone out the window once your husband had ruined it. Of course it didn’t bother you as much that your son wanted to leave too. “Of course, sweetie.” You stood up and collected the half empty plates from the table robotically. “Just be careful and let me know when you’re there.” 

With a dejected sigh that only Bucky noticed, you gathered the rest of the cutlery and took them to the kitchen, beginning to fill the sink to wash up. 

Peter waited until you were out of ear shot to whisper, “Dude, MJ asked me to come round tonight. I think she finally wants it!” Bucky held back a cringe. “You think it’s cool if I shoot off? You can make your own way home, right?” 

Bucky couldn’t have given a single fuck where Peter went or what he did right now. All he cared about, as he shot discreet glances of you in the kitchen washing the plates, was your wellbeing. “Sure, Parker. I can figure it out.” 

“Awesome!” Peter laughed before whipping out of his seat and running towards the door. “Catch you Monday, pal!” 

The house grew silent apart from the departing slam of the door, this time by your son. As soon as Peter was gone, Bucky instantly left his seat to join you. 

He leaned his shoulder against the archway of the kitchen. “You okay, Honey?” 

Looking towards him in surprise, your eyes held onto a last tendril of hope that someone hadn’t let you be alone. “Sweetheart, I thought you would have left with P.” 

Bucky shook his head with a fond smile, the curls at the top of his head bouncing with the movement. “Of course not. I’ve got nothing better to do with my Friday night than spend time with a gorgeous woman.” 

He caught the tightening of your lips, as though you were holding back your flustered smile. “Oh, stop that. You flatter me.” 

“I can’t help it. You make a man go weak. What can I say?” 

“Are you flirting with me?” you laughed incredulously. 

“And what if I was?” Bucky noticed the way your eyes latched onto the sight of his shirt, tightening over his arms as he crossed them over each other. “Would you like it?” 

Your eyes flicked up to his, holding his intense gaze for a few seconds before you huffed a breath and began cleaning the dishes again. “You’re cute, Bucky.” 

Bucky licked his lips and ravaged your form silhouetted in your fitted dress. “Wouldn’t exactly be the word I would use, but I’ll take it from you.” 

A rare giggle, only let out in his presence, escaped you. “Scram would you? You don’t want to be spending your Friday night with your friend’s mom, sweetie.” 

Testing the waters, Bucky let slip exactly what was on his mind. “Actually, there’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”  

Your hand stilled, chest rising and falling at a faster pace than before. “Oh, if only I was twenty years younger,” you chuckled quietly to yourself, not expecting for Bucky to overhear. 

Jackpot, he smirked to himself. 

Walking to the kitchen island, Bucky leaned his elbow on the counter beside you. “What would you do, Mrs Parker?” 

You jumped with a yelp, visibly surprised to have received a response so close; eyes blown wide as they flitted over Bucky’s face in panic. “E-Excuse me?” 

Bucky closed the distance between you even further. He leaned over the sink to turn the running water off. “I said,” he whispered huskily, keeping consistent eye contact with you. “What would you do if you were twenty years younger?”

“I—I um,” your breathing started to become heavy while Bucky stared shamelessly at you. “It’s just an expression, sweetie,” you laughed, shaking your head to try and brush the comment off. “I d-didn’t mean it like that—“ 

“No?” He watched carefully as your eyes darted around, trying so hard not to look at him. “How did you mean it then?” 

The spotlight Bucky was intentionally putting on you made you falter, even more so when he tucked your hair behind your ear and let his hand linger over your collarbone. 

“C’mon, tell me. I don’t bite.” A sadistic smirk adorned his face while you stared at his lips. “Unless you want me to, of course.” 

“I s-swear, Bucky.” Your voice was breathless with the heat of his stare. “There was nothing behind it, I—”

“I don’t believe you.” Bucky backed you against the sink, trapping you with his arms on each side of your waist. “I think,” he rasped, teasingly trailing his fingers up the bare skin of your arms. “That you would let me bend you over this counter right here and fuck you senseless.” 

The wind was audibly knocked from your lungs as you gasped. Words failed you, stuttering over yourself which was most amusing to Bucky.

Nonetheless, your eyes still followed him with a glaze, hooked onto every word that left his lips. “I think you’d let me take you from behind. Stuff your pretty pussy full with my fat cock.” He grabbed your hand and pressed it against the bulge in his trousers. “You feel that, huh? How good it would feel to take all a’me, pretty mama?” 

Bucky watched as your eyes fluttered and you bit your lip — the last of your reserve hanging by a thread. One more deadly blow to your empty head and you would be putty in his hands.

Any remaining distance between you disappeared as he placed wet kisses from the pulse of your neck up to the corner of your mouth. “I think—” he whispered against your lips, his next words uttered in his most seductive voice. “I think you’d let me do it. Right. Fuckin’. Now.” 

You placed your hands over the shirt on his chest to push him away; a mistake he imagined as you alternatively began bundling the material up with clenched fists. “Bucky—“ you painfully uttered with your eyes squeezed shut. You shook your head, as though that would help you. “This—this isn’t right. You’re my son’s friend and I n-need you to leave—“ 

“Look at me.” Bucky slid his hands over your neck, holding your jaw with his thumbs to tilt your head up. Slowly, your eyes squinted open and he saw the confliction clear as day in your glossy eyes, the battle you were facing in your mind. “You’re practically melting in my hands, Honey. You just gotta give in. We’ve been playin’ this game for far too long now, don’t you think?”

There was no escaping his blue eyes when you tried to look away once again and he firmly guided your gaze back to him. “None of that, now. Do as I say.” 

Your expression was tortured — torn between right and wrong, pleasure and sin. Bucky knew you were good, a dutiful housewife and loyal to a fault to a man who didn’t deserve it. 

Where had that gotten you? Whilst the revenge plan was hot on his mind — the very reason he had meticulously planned everything up to this exact moment — he wouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth that he was getting something extra out of this. You.

“We shouldn’t do this,” you pleaded painfully, still with a wild spark in your eye. “We can’t do this.” 

“You know what I’m not hearing, Honey?” Bucky asked. “I’m not hearing that you don’t want to do it.” 

You shook your head frantically with wide eyes until he tightened his grip on your cheeks. “I’m gonna give you one chance to answer me.” He squeezed your cheeks until your lips puckered. “You want me to fuck you, baby?”

Desire rolled through your eyes as your thighs clenched together. Though you still tried to deny your need for him. “Bucky—”

“Ah, ah. I want an answer.” 

Bucky watched as your throat bobbed. Your nostrils flared with your harsh breaths and your breasts heaved up and down with exerted force. Seconds went by, the two of you staring at each other before you finally answered. “Yes.” 

The two of you burst into the master bedroom — the one you shared with your husband, kissing erratically while your hands fumbled through Bucky’s hair. 

He moaned deeply, pushing you against the wall, and turning feral over the feel of you as he kneaded your body. “You’re so fuckin’ hot,” he hummed against your lips. 

Your head thumped back against the wall, chest heaving while you tried to catch your breath. All of Bucky’s attention was drawn to your chest. “Has anyone ever told you you’ve got the most perfect tits?” 

Choking on your spit, you stumbled over your words, so adorably oblivious to your own attraction. “I—I didn’t realise—um, t—thank you—”

Bucky laughed, shaking his head before quickly ripping down your dress to your waist with force. Your upper body was bare, free for him to roam his rabid eyes over your naked tits.

“Bucky!” Your squeal of shock was followed by you hastily trying to cover your chest with your hands. 

But a scowling Bucky immediately ripped them away; offended you would dare try to keep them from him. “Don’t you dare fuckin’ cover yourself up, Honey.” 

He could tell it was intense for you, to be so thoroughly desired and the thought that you had never received this much attention before made him angry once again. 

“It’s been a while,” you mumbled. The mousy confession only heightened Bucky’s fury towards your pathetic husband.

Delicately, he kissed you and began to trail his lips down the slope of your neck. “Ain’t gotta worry about that. I’ll take care of you.” 

Slowly descending, Bucky laved his tongue over your peaked nipple, sucking it into his mouth and letting it go with a pop. Your breast bounced with the motion and he squeezed his dick over his trousers with a groan. “Look at you, Honey. You’re a fuckin’ goddess.” 

Bucky’s tunnel vision made whatever you said next pointless. Grabbing your tits, he buried his head in between them, relishing in your softness. He peppered his kisses across to your other nipple and swirled his tongue around the peak. 

Your legs crumbled, the sensation overwhelming for you. The thought that Bucky could get you off by just playing with your tits made his cock even harder. But he had so much more in store for you.

“Why don’t you take off your dress, baby?” he murmured into your skin. “Want you to kneel on the bed for me, alright?” 

You nodded shakily. Bucky hovered over your breasts a couple of seconds more, savouring the feel of you before stepping backwards to give you space to move. 

With a deep breath, you walked on unsteady legs towards your bed, letting your dress shimmy down your body on your way. Your back was turned to Bucky and he salaciously eyed your figure, each and every curve of your body. He internally created a map of your stretch marks and imperfections that only made him more crazed for you. 

The mattress sank down while you knelt onto it carefully. Bucky watched the arch of your back intently, the flesh of your ass rounding out from your position. 

Forget the damn reason he plotted this very moment, he was just excited to finally get a taste of you. 

Your quiet murmur sounded over Bucky’s thoughts. “I’m ready.” 

Biting his lip, he strolled forward until he came to a stop behind you. Still fully clothed, Bucky desperately singed the picture in front of him into his mind. He held so much power in that moment, and it felt like a dream that he had you bent over solely for him. 

Bucky leaned over your form, beginning to place delicate kisses down your back. He basked in the goosebumps that arose on your skin. “How the fuck are you real?” he murmured to himself. 

With a shaky sigh, you whispered, “I still don’t know about this.” 

Chuckling, Bucky finally dropped down to his knees, ignoring your reluctance to eye the flimsy piece of material covering your pussy. Hooking a finger inside your underwear, he peeled it away and held it to the side. “Oh, fuck me.” 

You squirmed in place as the cold air hit you in your most vulnerable state. Your raw scent clogged Bucky’s nose and his eyes rolled to the back of his head in bliss. “Can’t fuckin’ wait any longer, Honey. Gotta know how you taste.” 

Surging forward, Bucky buried himself between your thighs. You screamed in retaliation to the feel of his tongue snaking its way through your folds and he was sure he hadn’t heard a better sound. 

He explored every inch of your cunt, unwilling to leave the heaven you so graciously granted him. But it was the sensation of Bucky’s tongue beginning to ease its way inside your hole that made you vocal once again. 

“My husband—“ you called out, obvious to Bucky  that you were trying to clear your conscience of guilt. But he knew you couldn’t care less about him — you didn’t even mention the fucker once while you were too busy feeling sorry for your son in the kitchen and making silly excuses to not let him have his way with you. 

Landing a harsh smack to the top of your thigh, Bucky savored your squeal of shock. “Don’t act like you give a fuck about him now, Honey. Who’s the one eating your pussy this good, hm?” He ran two fingers down the middle of your folds, biting his lip at the wetness coating them. When your only answer was a moan muffled by your pillow, he spanked you again in the same place with more force. “Answer me.”

“You, Bucky!” you instantly shouted out. “You’re the one eating my pussy so good!” 

“There we go. That wasn’t so hard was it?” He eased over the marks beginning to bloom on your skin and smiled to himself. “Call me James, though. I like it better.” 

Without letting you reply, Bucky dived back in, fucking your pussy with his tongue. You reached back to hold your asscheeks open with each hand, desperate to have him go deeper into your hole. The glint from the diamond of your wedding ring caught his attention and he smirked into your cunt; the reminder that you were married only fuelled his arousal even more. 

“Fuck, baby,” he spoke into your cunt. “You really are sweet, ain’t ya? Taste fuckin’ incredible.” 

The filthy sounds of slurps and moans filled the room. Bucky was a starved beast, held back and pushed to the edge for too long and every little bit of anger and resentment that had built in his body from your husband’s treatment was taken out on you. 

It only boosted his ego when you grinded your cunt back against him too. His cock jumped with excitement with how fucking dirty you truly were. You had been locked up too, he remembered. Stuck holding back your true self for a shitty excuse of a man. 

Bucky grunted deeply before licking a wide stripe from your clit, slowly running through your pussy lips and reaching higher towards the puckered hole that twitched with anticipation. 

“Oh!” you exclaimed aloud in surprise. Bucky thought he may have gone too far, then. But once you relaxed and backed yourself into his tongue, he smiled wickedly. 

“You like that, filthy girl?” he laughed, darkly. “Should’ve known you’d be a little freak.” 

Bucky circled the tip of his tongue teasingly around your asshole, moaning at your eagerness when you tried to reach further back with your hands and drag him closer. 

“Don’t tease,” you gasped, out of breath. “Please, I want more. Gimmie more.” 

Almost immediately, Bucky complied, ripping your hands away with vigor to replace them with his. He spreaded your asscheeks wide and lapped at your tight hole. 

“Fuck yes—oh my god, James—yes!” 

The depravity was obscene and disgusting and Bucky absolutely loved it. Never had he been more turned on and he decided then and there that this wasn’t going to be a one and done deal. He wanted you to be his. 

A string of saliva connected Bucky’s mouth to your ass as he reluctantly backed away. The slick that had poured out of you smothered his chin and cheeks and Bucky happily licked his lips with a groan. “Baby, as much as I wanna keep eating your ass, I need to feel your pretty little cunt wrapped around my cock.” 

You whimpered while your pussy clenched with a need to be filled. Bucky watched your cute little hole flutter. “Put it in me,” you slurred. “Need your cock.” 

He wasted no time unfastening his jeans to pull them down enough until his dick bobbed out of its confines. Bucky caught you peeking your head around, trying to catch a glimpse of his cock, but he spanked your ass and bit his lip with amusement at your scream. “Not yet, baby. You’ll get a chance to see it when I fuck your throat later.” 

You squirmed impatiently, needy moans escaping you and Bucky couldn’t hold back any longer. Grabbing his cock, he began to push the fat head of his length inside you. 

A loud gasp tore from your throat and your pussy instantly tried to suck him in deeper. Your walls, tight and warm, hugged his dick like a vice. “You’re—oh my fucking god—how are you so big?” 

The smirk that donned Bucky’s face was lethal. He had you right where he wanted you. And yet his eye rolled back all the same, savouring the flutter of your tight hole around him. 

“This is all for you, baby,” he breathily whispered, bullying his way deeper into your pussy. “Get me so fuckin’ hard everytime I see you. Cookin’ in them pretty little dresses. Just wanna lift your skirt up and fuck you wherever I want.” 

Your moans both fell into sync as Bucky finally slid his cock all the way to the hilt. You couldn’t stop squirming and it drove him crazy. 

“You need to move,” you begged in between pants. “Please, I can’t stay still.” 

Bucky licked his teeth with desire blazing through him. “Since you asked so nicely, Honey.” 

Without the decency to ease you into it, Bucky instantly set a brutal pace. He looked down, admiring the thick coating of your juices lathering his dick and he willed himself not to blow his load so fast. He tightly closed his eyes, adjusted his stance and began to fuck you. 

You were quick to grab ahold of whatever you could, scrambling for purchase within the sheets,  but you were useless to try to stop how your head buried into the bed. The force of Bucky’s thrusts were too violent and so you surrendered to what was inevitable, letting yourself drool over the cotton.

“Bu—CKY!” your cry of surprise when he lifted his foot onto the bed, allowing him a better angle to fuck you, was music to his ears. 

“What’s’a matter, baby?” Bucky mocked. “Thought you were a big girl, huh? Can’t handle me?” 

Your reply was instant. “I can! I can, I promise, I promise!” 

“Then shut the fuck up and take it.” 

Bucky didn’t know where to look, he was spoilt for choice. To watch your eyes roll back in ecstasy? To concentrate on the shlick shlick of your soaked cunt? Ultimately, his eyes were glued to the jiggle of your ass, his hands soon following as though he was hypnotised. How it so perfectly met his hips without a falt in rhythm.

“Fuck me—this ass is heaven, baby. You been hiding it from me all this time?” 

There was no answer this time, at least not a coherent one. Bucky was instead graced with your constant squeaks and groans — a woman too invested in a physical gratification she had so sadly been starved of. 

Bucky chuckled. “Ain’t gotta answer, Honey. The sounds comin’ outta that mouth are keeping my dick happy enough.” 

He almost forgot the end goal of his proposition in the midst of the delectable feel of your cunt. With a sudden bolt of clarification as he felt a vibration against his leg, Bucky kept one hand on your hip while he reached for his phone in his pocket with the other. Keeping up the pace of his thrusts, you were clueless as he unlocked it and opened the camera app. 

“Now, Honey, I want you to really scream my name, okay? Wanna hear how good I’m makin’ you feel. Can you do that for me?”

“Uh-huh.” You nodded, dumbly. “C-Can do that for you, James.” 

He grinned wickedly and threw his head back. “Just like that. Good fuckin’ girl.” Looking back down at you through the phone screen, he hovered his finger over the record button and brought his other hand down hard on your ass. “Go on then, baby. Put on a show for me.”

If Bucky thought you were a fucking treat before, his mind was blown once you began to take the reigns of your own pleasure. Bucky hardly had to move and you still plunged yourself onto his cock with an unmatched enthusiasm to anyone else he had fucked. He could hardly keep his hand that held the phone up from shaking. The combined sounds coming from the both of you were insane. 

None of his wet dreams could compare to his reality. “You—shit—you’re killing me, Honey.” 

You must not have heard him because you decided to torture him even more by arching your back just that little bit further. 

Bucky thought he was a goner, soon to approach his end. But he couldn’t let that happen. He was far from done with you yet. 

Propping one foot up onto the bed for better leverage, he gathered his restraint and began to drive forward once more. He felt high. 

“That husband of yours ever fuck you like this, huh?” Bucky demanded. “Can he make you leak all over his dick like a fuckin’ slut?”

You violently shook your head from side to side, like the thought of your husband left a sour taste in your mouth you wanted to get rid of. “Nuh-uh,” you whimpered, popping your ass up even more to take as much as you could. “O-Only you.” 

“Tell him, baby.” Bucky noticed too late that he had slipped up, too gone off the feel of your cunt wrapped snug around his dick. But you hadn’t seemed to realise his mistake either and the thought that you were too much of a wreck from his cock to comprehend who he was talking about made him even harder. “Let him know who’s balls deep in your tight, slutty pussy.” 

“Oh, fuck—please, please—you, James, it’s you.  Please, it’s you!” 

“Atta girl,” he cooed, hoarsely. “Look at the fuckin’ mess you’re makin’ on me.”

Bucky reached down to where the two of you were connected with his free hand, sweeping the copious amount of your slick gathered in a ring around the bottom of his cock. “Here.” He leant forward, one palm up towards you with his phone still in his other hand out of your view. “Open your mouth, pretty mama.” 

You slightly turned your head with your tongue sticking out wide and eagerly sucked the juices off his hand with a long moan. 

Managing to get all of it on camera, Bucky watched as you licked between his fingers, not wasting a drop. “Holy fuck,” he grunted deeply. “You’ll really do anything I say, won’t you?” 

You bobbed your head up and down, eventually letting his fingers go, clean as a whistle. 

“What a fuckin’ filthy whore. You’re perfect for me.” 

You backed yourself onto Bucky’s cock, meeting his thrusts perfectly while the meat of your ass clapped against his toned waist. “You’re a needy little thing, ain’t you baby?” 

“Anythin’ you want,” you slurred. “Can be whatever you need.” 

“Poor mommy hasn’t been treated this good in a long time I can tell.” Bucky gripped your ass harshly with his hand, jiggling the flesh for his own satisfaction. “Women like you, need putting in their place on a daily basis. Need a good fuckin’ to keep them happy.” 

“Yes!” you agreed, firmly. “Mommy needs to be fucked like this all the time.” 

Unbelievable. Bucky didn’t even have to try to add salt into the wound. He couldn’t help the continuous conspicuous messages that he could easily pass off to you. “This is what happens when you don’t take care of your wife.”

Harsh slaps echoed in your bedroom. The two of you could only share the raw sounds that left your mouths in your haze of the thrill as the string between you pulled tighter and tighter. 

“I’m—so—close,” you murmured with all your depleted energy. 

Bucky didn’t need the confirmation when he could feel the rapid pulses of your walls that squeezed him. He knew your orgasm was clutching at its straws and he was so close himself. The blood from his head had long since made its way to his dick and his composure was swiftly deflating. 

“Want that cum,” he garbled as his mouth hung open. “I’ve been such a good boy, mommy. Give it to me, please.”

You whined loudly, like a dog in heat. But your voices became lost on each other. That didn’t stop Bucky from losing his inhibitions out loud.  

Thrust. “I’ve been such,” thrust. “A good,” thrust. “Boy.” 

The wound up ball of tension in your lower stomach exploded in a series of screams and violent shivering that overtook your whole nervous system and the very sensation brought Bucky to his defeat. 

The muscles in his legs failed him as they turned to jelly. Bucky let out the sluttiest moan he’s ever experienced in his life and all but collapsed onto your sweat slicked body. He could feel his cock shooting a constant stream of cum into your cunt with seemingly no end in sight. 

“Fuck,” he whimpered into your ear. Slowly, his conscience came back to life and the flow of his load finally came to a stop. 

The two of you laid still, only the heavy panting serving to fill the silence. After a couple of minutes, Bucky kissed your shoulder blade, before lifting himself up. He gathered the strength to gently retrieve his length from your hole that still strangled him. 

Bucky was reminded of the phone that was still recording in his hand and he quickly made sure to get the winning money shot of his load dripping out of your pulsing hole while he wholly detached himself from you. 

He was only human to push his finger into your cunt, he thought, letting himself gather himself on his own fingers. 

Flipping the camera around to himself, Bucky put his coated finger in his mouth, sucking your combined juices and humming and letting it go with a pop. He laughed, out of breath, his red cheeks and mussed hair only adding to the depravity of the video. “Y’know some people should really keep an eye on their wives. You never know what they’re up to in their spare time. Ain’t that right, Honey?” 

Bucky knew you were out of it — he watched on while you buried your head in the sheets, rubbing your thighs together as aftershocks made your body twitch. Your needy, high pitched keens bounced off the walls. “Wan’ more of your cock, James—please—need you to fuck me again.” 

He licked his lips in delight, the sight of your ass wiggling with his cum leaking out of you and your unprompted addition to the recording filling him with glee. 

“Well,” he sighed, turning back to the camera and shrugging with no remorse. “You heard the wife. Duty calls.” With a cocky wink, he ended the recording with a final farewell. “See you in class, Professor.”  

Bucky exited his camera app and quickly brought up his emails, scouring through to a saved draft and attaching the video link. After pressing send, he shut off his phone, making sure any future notifications would be silenced before throwing it to the ground with a careless thump. 

“Baby,” you whimpered, looking behind you to search for him. “What are you doing? I said I wanna be fucked again.” 

Undressing the rest of his clothes, Bucky stalked towards you, kneeling onto the bed and effortlessly flipping you over to kiss you deeply to share your combined tastes. “Don’t worry, mommy,” he breathed into your mouth. “I’ll take care of you now.” 

Meanwhile at his college, a new email popped up on Dr Parker’s computer screen, shrouding the dark office with a white glow in the late night. With an exhausted huff, he looked up from grading papers — all of them marked with a C or lower — and squinted his eyes at the bright screen. 

New Email from James Buchanan Barnes

He rolled his eyes with a sigh. The name was familiar as he thought back to the day the kid almost cried in his office, complaining about his poorly-graded assignment and his GPA; Dr Parker had gossiped with Professor Stark in his department on his dinner break, recounting the annoying way this particular student had whined like a baby. Though he couldn’t quite remember how James looked, unable to place him among the hundreds of pupils he taught.

Amused curiosity ran through him, wondering what his student had to moan about this time and so with a sadistic smirk, he clicked on the link, waiting until his message came up. 

Though that smirk was quickly replaced with a frown when the email finally loaded with an attachment. 

They say revenge is a dish best served cold. But I like mine warm, tight and sweet.

Just like Honey. 

[thejesusofsuburbiabutcringe]

🚨(SPOILERS)🚨 HURRY UP TOMORROW FIRST IMPRESSIONS REVIEW FROM THE FAN EVENT

Oh my fucking God, where do I even begin? I hate to say it, but it truly is a thing that needs to be seen to be believed and can't be fully explained. It's more of a feeling than a story. I admit that I'm still processing what the fuck that was, but I'll give what I can give. I'm seeing it again on Friday the 16th, so hopefully I can come back with more formulated thoughts. I saw it with my dad (a non-Weeknd fan) with me (a Weeknd stan) so I can kinda get some balanced perspective here besides my own bias towards Abel.

First of all, this movie will fuck you up. My dad said it best as a "mindfuck". It's dark as shit, and I knew that going into it, but I was still surprised at how dark it was. Lee getting brutally stabbed in the neck by Anima was actually horrifying and my jaw was DOWN, I was so shocked. When I thought that Anima was actually gonna set Abel on fire, I was shaking so bad and the only point in the movie where I was crying. If you're not emotionally attached to Abel like I am, then maybe you won't feel that. The actual scariest part was when Abel was getting chased by the mystery creature in the black tunnel. It physically frightened me. This is the typa shit that will stay in your nightmares for a week, both me and my dad are lowkey traumatized by this movie.

Second, the overall experience was nothing I could've expected. It's not so much a linear story but more of your primal reactions to what happens. Honestly, I didn't know what the fuck was happening most of the time, but I felt every ounce of it. The whole time I was waiting and waiting for something to happen, but then it ended and then I actually crashed out in befuddlement. This movie confused and weirded me the fuck out, but it's better than feeling nothing at all. Abel says it relates to sleep paralysis, nightmares, trauma, and the like, and that's what this movie feels like: a dream. The trippy visuals and lack of linearness makes it very much like a dream, or a nightmare, more specifically. This is ABSOLUTELY something you need to see more than once to full grasp it. Maybe if you're under the influence of something will make this feel like... idk, something else? I'm planning on getting drunk for the next viewing for science cuz I feel like this will fuck you up if you saw it under the influence.

Thirdly, holy fuck, we NEED to talk about Abel's acting. HE CARRIED THAT SHIT. This movie would literally not work without the emotion he put into his character. His screaming and crying were so visceral that you would've thought they tortured him to make that shit happen, but no. The scene where he was crashing out over voicemail to his ex and then throwing the phone at the mirror was so fucking tense, my God. Even the quiet moments like his facial expressions when he'd just stare into the camera with dead eyes are just so masterful. This is only his second major acting role, but HE SLAYED THE HOUSE DOWN. HE IS A GOOD ACTOR Y'ALL, SHUT THE FUCK UP. Out of everything, you can feel that pain radiate off of him, and that's exactly why this movie worked for me. Without his performance, literally none of this would've worked. This shit is supposed to make you feel, and he did just that. Jenna and Barry were also good actors. I could feel some VISCERAL chemistry between Abel and Lee that you could cut it with a knife. Anima was good too, but I wished we saw some more of her. Some of her motivations weren't the clearest to me, but the bit where she was dancing to "Blinding Lights" while Abel was moaning in pain was lowkey funny as hell for no reason, so points there.

Fourth, the downsides. This might be a weird take, but too much music (I know, sue me). A lot of the runtime is taken up by the songs from the album being played when time to focus on the characters could've been gifted. The ending where Abel sings "Hurry Up Tomorrow" in a raw state is beautiful, but tbh, did it need to go on for that long? Did we need two separate scenes of Abel performing "Wake Me Up" onstage? About half the movie felt like a music video, which would've been fine if we got some concrete storytelling from those bits. Also, some of those visuals and sounds were simply too much. The club scene near the beginning stained my fucking eyes, and I'm not even a photosensitive person. The sound was LOUD AS FUCK, like, was I actually at a Weeknd concert cuz it sure felt like it. I get the overstimulation vibe it was going for, but my God, it didn't need to be an absolute fucking assault on the senses to get that point across.

Overall, this ain't gonna be everyone's thing (prayers for my mom who will see it on Friday cuz she's def gonna get traumatized) by my God does it have a right to hold space in film history. It's weird, bold, experimental, and literally nothing that has ever been done before. You'll never see anything like it. Admittedly, this will be the most impactful for the die-hard Abel fans like myself, but it's still solid if your not. My dad seemed to understand it even though he never listened to the album. If you know the song lore, The Weeknd and Abel lore, this will make a lot more sense to you. Over everything, this movie will make you think and wonder long after the final cut. I commend Abel, Jenna, Barry, and Trey for doing something so bizarre and daring.

Please check it out if you're up for a mindfucking cinematic experience, or if you want to support our dear Abel's film endeavors.

If this movie's public reception is "The Idol Part 2", I'm throwing myself off the face of the earth, I'm not fucking joking. I CAN'T LIVE THROUGH THAT AGAIN.

[sehodreamsthoughts]

OMG i’m so sorry i am so desensitized at this point.. um yes it’s totally an ed thing i just didn’t think about that omg um.. yeah i’m really sorry just focus on the feeder part 😳😳😳

that’s crazy cuz yes hanbin too🤭🤭 like.. i’m going crazy but i don’t want to be too insane.. soo

matthew makes me so feral in general and yes i agree with u he would love a taller gf (especially a chubby one<333) i see him as either being dom most of the time but with a subby side or kinda subby loser :( definitely a good boy, would spoil u and worship you because he’s obsessed with you but also loves making you flustered (it’s “confirmed” this man has like an oppa or daddy kink…) wants to be in control but also gets turned on if u take that away from him sometimes<333 if ur into it too… lots of thoughts of matthew x jiwoong x reader poly all 3 ways cuz matthew would so sub for jiwoong like help and so would i!!!!!

but um yeah. jiwoong, hanbin, matthew love big girls<333 feeder thoughts with all of them, just want u to be their chubby gf who relies on them for everything<3 i think they’d just be obsessed with how docile n obedient you’d be for them :((( um..

i’m literally so insane but like.. i saw smth too im gonna type this and cross it out because i’m humiliated but….. vina pls tell me u see the vision agree with me i will cry but if u don’t it’s fine tooo i will shut up about it… but…. i’m screaming i really can’t even type it out. basically just.. being too big to touch urself on ur own so he has to help you and you can’t get off by urself anymore bye putting myself in jail. i’m sick 🤧 pls if this is too gross i will leave u alone and never bother u with my nasty thoughts again

- 🥟 anon

Honey, when I say that there are little to almost no things that I find hard to like I'm being real 😭

In my head, that sounds hot too 😭😭😭 (I dated a chubby girl too so I KNOW)

I imagine Hanbin a lot for that scenario 😭👌 (dubcon 🚨)

Coworker!Hanbin eyeing you for a long time because you, his chubby teammate, are always smiling around even when everyone is having a fucking hard time keeping up with the workload.

He respects you a lot because you're smart, kind and are always helping around when nobody else wants, reason why he can't understand why some people don't treat you nice simply because of how you look.

You, realizing it, stop wearing your pretty outfits at work, choosing a more "modest" wardrobe so you don't hear those comments again, shocking him because he never realized how much he liked to see your plump ass and thick legs with them.

Without being able to contain himself, he jerks off to the memory of you wearing a particular skirt that he really likes to see you on. It's simple, black, and you wear them with black stockings too. He's seen that outfit a thousand times, yet he can't stop thinking it's the hottest thing ever just because YOU were the one wearing it.

He starts to get impatient because he NEEDS to see you wearing that skirt again. Looking at your ass when you bend to lift things is not enough, he misses the way your stockings became transparent in the highest part of your thighs, and you look great with those pants, but there's nothing like your skirts.

Hanbin does his best to catch a glimpse of something new that excites him the same way, but don't get fooled, he gets hard with the mere sight of you, it's just that nothing makes him cum like your chubby legs and how they look enormous in skirts.

Not much later, thank God because he's having a harder time containing himself with each day that goes by, the office decides to make a two day one night trip to appease the people that have been complaining at work. He only decides to go after you've said that you'd too, praying deep inside that you go wearing a skirt again. You do, and, thanking the universe, he spends the whole day stuck to your side, helping you with kitchen duty and even acting bold enough to walk with a hand in the small of your back when you two get lost from the group.

At night, when everyone is drunk as fuck and most of them already on their rooms sleeping, you two stay in the open talking about work and drinking. You don't really notice how many shots he's pouring you, or how your drink has more alcohol than what a usual cocktail has. You keep drinking, laughing at the stories Hanbin tells you, and answering his questions. It's all innocent, until there's a particular moment in which you're too fucking drunk to stop yourself from blabbering, and you don't know how the topic changed to it, but you reveal that you haven't been able to cum in a long time because your tummy and your pussy lips are too much of an obstacle for your hand, which can never do much after arriving exhausted to your house because of the busy usual schedule at work.

The words that come out of your mouth make him the hardest he's ever been in weeks, thinking how he'd gladly give you a hand. Without noticing, one of his hands is already caressing your knee, murmuring a "poor girl" with those rosy cheeks and his usual smile nowhere to be found. You, not understanding much of what's happening, or the place you're at, only nod. "I know!", you cry, and open your legs when his hand trails up until it arrives to the border of your skirt.

"I could help you, you know" he offers. "Uhm?" It's the only thing that comes from your mouth, and he doesn't wait for an answer before his wrist is against the pouch of your tummy and his palm against your clothed pussy. "i'll help you" he groans, pressing his hand harder, stealing a surprised whimper from you because of how good it felt.

It doesn't take long until he has you over the table, plastic cups on the grass and some spilled drinks making a mess under you, but that's the least of the things that he could care for when he has your fat pussy in front of him. Your skirt is all up, your stockings are ripped and your panties to the side. With one hand he pushes the amplitude of your tummy, using his thumb and index to maintain your heavy lips open so they don't interrupt his job while his other hand is doing it's best fucking your gummy walls and then circling your puffy clit, taking turns with his attention, making you cry of how good he's touching you.

"Bin- fuck, please, please" you cry. You're delirious, only thinking about the pressure of your abdomen and his slender fingers being perfect for you.

"i'll make you cum baby, don't worry, leave it to me" he says, feeling your juices dripping to his wrist with how messy you are. You had no idea you could get that wet, never having been dripping to that point on your own. Your poor pussy has been so unattended it's practically begging for his cock, and he's dying to give it to you but the way you're breaking from only his fingers is making him dizzy, and with all the alcohol over his head, he doesn't stop until you're coming in front of his eyes, leaking down a heavy stream of your orgasm.

That alone is enough to make him shudder and spurt inside his underwear. He groans, feeling his cum smear against his skin, and kisses you, tasting the alcohol in your system and the salty rest of your tears. He only talks when you've regained some of your consciousness, "wear skirts at work again, and I'll help you every day."

[nerdby]

🚨Trigger Warning🚨 Sexual Abuse Mention

Holy fucking Hel, I just made the mistake of a fucking lifetime. Like seriously....I want to throw up. What the fuck did I.....???? Fucking fuck. So I'm kinda manic right now and I'm free writing. I don't have anything prepared -- and yes, I do prepare my posts ahead of time. This is just my thoughts. Now. My current thoughts.

I saw that Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen were trending for whatever fucking reason, and some jackasses were bullying the fuck out of them. Which personally I don't fucking stand for. I hate bullies, okay, and that's why I hate fascists. So I went on this YouTube dive looking for The Roast Of Bob Saget, that I could remind everyone about the trauma the twins had been through and why anyone who bullied them just comes off looking like an extra special jackass.

I ended up finding this by a YouTuber called Sloane about Bob Sagat's relationship with the twins, and in his video Sloane directed the viewers to a Bob Sagat sketch called The Aristocrats and I am just......If that man wasn't already dead I'd murder himself for the disgusting fucking shit in that video. It's literally a comedy sketch about two parents molesting their children together -- it's like if A Serbian Film was a comedy sketch.

You'll thank me for that spoiler later in life, believe me.

I am just.......I couldn't even finish watching the video. I had to turn it off. I feel sick, and I think I'm starting to derealize. Cause like my thoughts are slowing down and it's like my mind is going numb. It's like.....My mind is an office building and I can feel all of the lights being turned off in all the cubicles one by one. And I just wanna cry.

It's not a good feeling.

Please, don't watch that video. Or do cause I keep forgetting reverse psychology is like fucking candy for teens of which there are many on this beloved hellsite. But just.... You're probably better off skipping this one, peeps.

[enchantedbarnes]

Oh my goddddddddddd!

Ok ok ok so heeeere we go again:

“We get new names and identities, move to a small town where no one knows us, and grow old and gray there in peace. We never check the news, ever.”

No more info needed, I'm sold. Everything is still probably in boxes. Ready to go immediately 🫡

Your heart skipped a beat but you tried to focus. “Do we have to change Alpine’s name too?”

“I don’t think she’d let us,” he said, a soft smile pulling at his lips. “She missed you, by the way.”

🥹😽🤍🥰

This was just friendly. That was it. Two friends talking.

About running away together.

I mean, to be fair here, I too have this conversation with my best friend often lmao

“So you’re leaving me alone with these people?”

“I feel like this goes without saying when it comes to diplomacy, but do not glare at or threaten anyone.”  

Bucky's like goddamn I have one default setting and I'm not equipped for this on my own!

“Make sure to text her please,” he told you. “Have a great first day.”

Is stabbing your father through the hand with a pen on the first day frowned upon? I feel like more than enough people would understand. It can be a "assert your dominance" situation to tell people "hey, don't fuck with Birdie. She stabbed her own scum bag father on her first day"

That seemed to have snapped Bucky out of the haze he was in. “Wait, you need money?”

😂 Birdie is about to wake up with her room looking like that scene from breaking bad. They won't even need a couch, the couch will be a stack of money with a blanket over it.

Bucky pointed at the door. “Birdie, I just told your father to go to hell.”

c'est la vie 🤷‍♀️ You weren't the first and this won't be your last.

“I was going to say who died and left you in charge of assassinations, but I think everyone in this room knows the answer—”

😂☠️ stop lmao

“Bucky, I don’t think you understand,” Kelsey insisted. “Let’s say you’re Aragorn, this guy is Sauron!”

You made a face.

“He’s not Sauron, his power does have a limit.” You paused for a moment. “He’s Saruman at best.”

😂 I love this so much

“Birdie, listen—”

“No, you listen,” you cut him off.

Oooo... you have pushed the wrong button, my guy. 🚨 Angry birdie has been activated.

The mental image of the three of them hanging out on the floor in the new apt 😂 I love them.

And Bucky unintentionally sending a 2am you up? text without realizing the context . I'd love to see his face when that gets explained to him. Tomato red I bet.

“Right,” you said with a laugh. “Because Bucky would ever leave his hot, successful, billionaire girlfriend —who is, if I may repeat, super hot— to be with me.”

“It’s 2 a.m.” Bucky replied, his eyes fixed on you, making your heart skip a beat. “I figured Caleb and Kelsey would be asleep.”

“Nope, we’re picking guys for Kelsey,” you said. “So what brings you here?”

It's cute he thinks these three have healthy sleeping habits 😂 Including himself. Also she probably could get him to stay if she went "maybe I'll find a guy too while we're at it"

“Do you?” you insisted. “Because I need you to know that. I would never go behind your back and do anything to—to hurt you in any way.”

That soft light appeared in his blue eyes. “I know.”

“It’s just not who I am.”

“I know, Birdie.”

He held out the worn out plushie for you and you gawked at him for a couple of seconds before you reached out to take it.

SCREAMING ❤️😱

“Wh—how?”

“It was on my way.”

CRYING ❤️😭

You pulled your brows together, looking down at the fox plushie before raising your glances again.

“My old apartment, which is in New York,” you said slowly, “was on your way to your home, which is in DC.”

Bucky’s lips twitched into a mischievous smile.

THROWING UP ❤️😭🥹🥰

Oh my goddddddddddd BLINKYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

Also my brain started playing that part from the "oops I did it again" music video:

"But I thought the old lady dropped it into the ocean in the end." "Well, baby, I went down and got it for ya." 😂❤️

You could feel your heart melting in your chest. “You went all the way to New York to get my childhood plushie back?”

“I still think that counts as a toy,” he pointed out as if it was crucial information. “But you said it was important to you, so…”

YOU BEAUTIFUL SWEET WONDERFUL MAN 😭😭😭😭💕💕

Don’t kiss him.

You can’t kiss him. He’s your boss, he has a girlfriend, he does not see you that way, do not kiss him.

YOU KISS HIM RIGHT FUCKING NOW BIRDIE

“And if anything, I’d been wanting to talk to Max for a while now, so the toy was basically just an excuse.”

“It a plushie—” You changed directions mid-sentence. “What do you mean you talked to Max?”

The look on his face was too innocent. “We just had a conversation, that’s all.”

👀 oh I must knowwwww

“About?”

“About him not making anything difficult for you. Or something along those lines.”  

👀👀👀

I need every detail. Were broken bones involved. I hope he slipped a boiled egg somewhere Max can't find so the whole place smells like rotten egg for weeks.

“Guys, we have a problem,” you rasped out, your voice weak even to your own ears. “I think I’m actually falling for him.”

"falling" Yeah, ok. Sure. We'll go with that 😂 at least we're a stop closer on the delusion train lmao.

😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

Declassified [8] - Diplomacy

A.N: Thank you so much for your wonderful support my loves, you are so amazing🩷 I hope you like this chapter as well! 🥰 And please let me know what you think! 🩷

Pairing: Congressman!Bucky x Female!Reader

Summary: The first day of work can be stressful.

Warnings: Explicit language, yearning.

Word Count: 4381

Series Masterlist

Well.

This was exactly what the first day of school used to feel like.

You couldn’t stop the sigh leaving your lips as you stared up at the Capitol Building, trying to ignore the anxiety churning your stomach. You knew you were supposed to go in, but somehow your legs refused to listen to you, so you exhaled slowly the way your therapist had taught you to get at least some sort of—

“It’s not too late to change your mind.”

You jumped out of your skin, then pressed a hand over your chest and glared at Bucky.

“What did I say about sneaking up on people?”

“In my defense, you looked pretty out of it already.” He shrugged his shoulders. “And as I said; not too late to change your mind. We can still leave.”

“Right,” you said with a laugh. “So we just forget about the Congress and everything and go away?”

He grinned. “Mm hm.”

“Where?”

“Brooklyn.”

You tilted your head. “Except that Brooklyn elected you as their representative, I feel like they’d ask what the hell you’re doing there.”

“You make a good point,” he said and thought for a moment. “Okay, new plan.”

“I’m listening.”

“We get new names and identities, move to a small town where no one knows us, and grow old and gray there in peace. We never check the news, ever.”

Your heart skipped a beat but you tried to focus. “Do we have to change Alpine’s name too?”

“I don’t think she’d let us,” he said, a soft smile pulling at his lips. “She missed you, by the way.”

This was not flirting.

This was just friendly. That was it. Two friends talking.

About running away together.

“I missed her too,” you said. “How does she like your new place?”

“She doesn’t,” he murmured before turning to glance at the building. “We’re gonna be fine.”

“Are you talking to me or yourself?”

“Yes.”

You repressed a laugh and bumped your shoulder against his.

“Come on,” you said as you started walking with him next to you. “Today is your day, and you’re gonna be very busy.”

“Yeah, the schedule was pages long,” he said. “I have meetings with people I don’t even know about.”

“Think of it like your debutante ball,” you told him. “They all want to see if you’re the right fit for them, how much dowry you have, and if they can bed you.”

“Please talk to me about something else.”

“Okay. “You shrugged your shoulders. “Onto some heartwarming news; I told Max to go fuck himself last night.”

Bucky frowned. “Hold on, he’s still calling you?”

“I called him,” you said. “He got the apartment after I prepared my boxes and stuff, and I paid the movers extra so that they would move everything without me being there, but apparently Max went through my boxes even if he refuses to admit it, because Blinky is not in any of them.”

“Who’s Blinky?” He paused for a moment. “Or what is Blinky?”

“Blinky is my childhood plushie,” you said. “It’s a fox plushie with one eye, the other eye fell off on the first day, that’s why I named him that. I took him everywhere I moved, and guess what? Max refuses to give him back.”

“Well, that’s interesting information.”

“I know, right?” you asked as you both walked into the building and held up your IDs to go through the security even if Bucky didn’t need to do that. “He claims he hasn’t seen him, but I’m so sure he hides him somewhere in the apartment.”

“You have a toy?”

“It’s a plushie.”

“It’s a toy.”

“It’s a plushie—you know what, I’m not going to stand in the Capitol hallway to argue semantics about my nostalgic childhood plushie with you,” you said while Bucky grinned at you. “You have one thousand things to do and so do I, so I’ll see you tomorrow.”

That wiped his grin off his face. “Wait, tomorrow? You’re not gonna be around?”

“I’ll be gone all day.”

His eyes widened and he shook his head.

“Birdie, no—”

“I have the orientation, I’ll have to meet everyone and stuff, and apparently there’s this tour… It’ll be chaotic. Kels will be with you though, and Caleb as well.”

“But it wouldn’t take you all day,” Bucky tried to convince you as if you were the one who planned the schedule. “What are they going to do, make you tour the place twice? Just tell them you have stuff to do.”

“This is my stuff to do.”

“So you’re leaving me alone with these people?”

You tried not to laugh at the look of betrayal on his face.

“These people are going to be your colleagues,” you reminded him. “So you need to make friends with them. You don’t need me for that.”

“I do need you for that, actually,” he argued. “I don’t…I don’t make friends.”

“Fine, don’t make friends with them, just be civil. You charmed half of Brooklyn, remember?”

“Because you were there.”

“You’ve been through literally the hardest things anyone can go through—”

“To repeat, none of those things required making friends. Or socializing for that matter.”

“You’ll be fine, and I’ll drop by the office if I can,” you assured him. “But remember. Diplomacy. That’s the currency here.”

Bucky took a deep breath and nodded. “Yeah.”

You took a step to leave, then turned around again to look at him.

“I feel like this goes without saying when it comes to diplomacy, but do not glare at or threaten anyone.”   

Bucky stared at you as if you had just asked him whether Alpine could fly and you pursed your lips, then rolled your shoulders back.

“It’s gonna go great,” you muttered to yourself as you started walking again. “Diplomacy, here we come.”

                                      *

Okay, you expected today to be chaotic, but you did not know it would be this chaotic.

It felt like for the whole day you had been running to one place or the other, and by the time you had found some time to yourself, it was way past lunch time. You had about half an hour until the next item on the schedule so you figured you could drop by Bucky’s office to talk to Kelsey and Caleb and see how Bucky was doing so far.

When you entered the office, most of the team was busy with either their phones or laptops, but Caleb and Kelsey were watching Bucky’s closed door, having a discussion in whispers. You tilted your head, then made your way to them.

 “Is everything okay?”

“What are you doing here?” Caleb asked. “My orientation lasted all day.”

“Mine will too, I just got a break—what is happening?”

Kelsey licked her lips. “Guess who asked for a last minute meeting with Bucky.”

“Who?”

“Amos Drexel.”

Your stomach dropped and you gawked at her. “Sorry?”

“I think you guys are the only people who know this person.”

 “I’ve been memorizing everyone’s faces and names and titles since the election night,” she said. “And trust me, people know who he is. People in high places, if you know what I mean.”

“Kels, he’s just a consultant.”

Kelsey scoffed. “He’s not just a consultant, Caleb.”

“A lobbyist.”

“Lobbyists come and go, this guy has been bribing and extorting the politicians for like, decades. He has half of them in his pocket.”

“I feel like I would’ve heard about him,” Caleb said and Kelsey shook her head.

“He’s too smart for that,” she said. “It’s easier for him if the public thinks he’s just a consultant. But trust me, every single politician here knows about him.”

“What is he doing here?” you asked, your heartbeat getting faster as you stole a look at the closed door. “I checked Bucky’s schedule this morning, he wasn’t there.”

“As I said, last minute meeting,” Kelsey said. “What was I supposed to do when Drexel wanted to see him, ask him to reschedule? I squeezed him in.”

“If he tries to bribe Bucky, I feel like he might kill him.”

“Obviously but that’s not the point,” Kelsey said while you grabbed her penholder so that you could do something with your hands. “The point is, if Drexel is here, it means he wants to—”

You dropped the penholder as soon as the door opened, and you ducked under the desk to gather the pencils as he passed by the desk.

“It was a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Barnes.” You heard him say as he walked out of the door and you put all the pens into the holder, then got up from under the desk, letting out a breath.

Bucky looked absolutely furious as he glared in the direction he had disappeared into before his eyes found yours, his gaze softening in a second. You gave him a tightlipped smile and put the holder on the desk—

And the rest of the room turned to the door again.

“Almost forgot.” His voice reached your ears, making your whole body tense up. “Honey? Your mom wants to know if you’re free for dinner next weekend.”

Oh.

Oh he had planned this.

Of course he did. He knew every schedule in this goddamn place, and he knew the moment you had a break, you’d come straight to Bucky’s office.

You forced yourself to ignore the whole team and Bucky staring at you, your cheeks burning in humiliation as you turned around to glare at your father who was standing by the door with a calm smile on his face.

“Make sure to text her please,” he told you. “Have a great first day.”

Then he walked away, leaving the whole office in a stunned silence.

You could feel the tears of frustration burning the back of your eyes but this was neither the time nor the place. You blinked a couple of times, clenching your jaw and then made a beeline into Bucky’s office with Caleb and Kelsey rushing after you. Kelsey closed the door behind her and you licked your lips, taking a deep breath.

“I can explain that—”

“He’s your father?” Caleb asked and you cleared your throat.

“Well…”

“Why is your surname different?”

“How is he your father?” Caleb and Kelsey asked at the same time and you cleared your throat.

“I’ve been asking the same question to my mother for ages now.” You tried to joke as you stole a look at Bucky who was just watching you with an unreadable look on his face.

“Your father is Amos Drexel and you still have roommates?” Kelsey asked, motioning at herself and Caleb, and you shook your head fervently.

“I’m broke.”

Caleb scoffed. “Oh come on—”

“No, I am.” You pulled your phone out to open up your bank app, then showed the screen to them. “See? Totally broke.”

That seemed to have snapped Bucky out of the haze he was in. “Wait, you need money?”

“Nope,” you said, shaking your head fervently. “No I don’t.”

Caleb stared at your phone screen. “How is that even possible?”

“I got myself a separate bank account when I was eighteen,” you said. “I wouldn’t touch his money with a gun to my head, I know where it comes from. And before you ask, I won’t touch it when he dies either, it will go straight to charity.”

“And he’s okay with that?”

“Not at all but he ignores it, just like he ignores how I’ve been begging him to disown me for years,” you said and turned to Bucky. “Please say something.”

Bucky just held your gaze for a moment before taking a deep breath.

“Your surname is different?”

“I changed it to my mother’s maiden name the day I turned eighteen,” you said. “You should’ve seen the paperwork.”

Bucky pointed at the door. “Birdie, I just told your father to go to hell.”

“You—” Kelsey’s eyes widened. “You told him to go to hell?”

“With different words.”

“What words?”

Bucky raised his brows, then motioned at her and you. “You two are here, I can’t exactly say what I said.”

“Bucky how many times must we tell you that people can curse around—” Caleb started but Kelsey cut him off, throwing her head back to look up at the ceiling like she was asking for help.

“Jesus, we’re not gonna last a term.”

“Would he assassinate him?”

Bucky rolled his eyes. “No one is going to assassinate me, Caleb.”

“Hypothetically, would it even count as assassination if he killed you?”

“No.”

“I was going to say who died and left you in charge of assassinations, but I think everyone in this room knows the answer—”

“Bucky, I don’t think you understand,” Kelsey insisted. “Let’s say you’re Aragorn, this guy is Sauron!”

You made a face.

“He’s not Sauron, his power does have a limit.” You paused for a moment. “He’s Saruman at best.”

“Thanks, that makes it so much better—”

“Can we have the room?” Bucky cut her off and Kelsey and Caleb exchanged glances, then left the office. You could feel the anxiety churning your stomach but you swallowed thickly, keeping your eyes on him.

“Bucky…”

“Why not tell me?”

You let out a bitter laugh. “Would you have hired me?”

He frowned. “Of course I would.”

“And how would that go? Here’s my resume, oh by the way, my father bribes and extorts politicians for a living?” you asked. “See, I don’t think you would.”

“So your solution was to keep it a secret? Even after we—” He stopped himself. “Even after we started working together?”

Your heart skipped a beat.

“I couldn’t just tell you,” you said. “Listen, I wanted to work in politics, and…”

“And you could’ve easily got a job here,” Bucky told you. “You didn’t have to wait until I got elected.”

“Do you think that’s why I’m doing this?” you asked. “Bucky, I don’t want to work for a politician who is only gonna hire me because of my father, he stands for the opposite of everything I believe in—”

“And it’s been like that from the beginning?” he asked, making you pull back. “From the first minute we started working together?”

When the realization crashed down on you, it tightened your throat like a fist.

“You don’t believe me,” you muttered, biting inside your cheek and he let out a breath.

“Birdie, listen—”

“No, you listen,” you cut him off. “The next time you accuse me of working for my father, or—or having anything to do with his corruption, I will walk away, Bucky. I’ll pick one of the many job offers being thrown at me from someone who’s not in my father’s pocket -surprisingly, there are still some of those- and I’ll go and work for them. So I guess the question you should be asking is, do you really want that to happen?”

With that, you stormed out of the office and made your way to the stairs without sparing anyone a glance, your heart still pounding in your chest.

                                                 *

Well needless to say, as far as first days went, that one was not so good.

You had gone straight home after work without dropping by Bucky’s office again. Caleb came home an hour after you, and Kelsey was the last one to arrive, and they had a lot of questions.

At least they had both brought booze and snacks.

And now, way past midnight, all of you were sitting on the floor, still drinking and snacking but the air felt much lighter.

“I just want to say, Birdie,” Caleb said. “Even if your father is a demon sent from hell to bribe politicians, we love you.”

“Aw, thanks Caleb.”

“Can I also point out that,” Kelsey said, reaching for some chips, “it sure is weird that we have a TV, a fucking gramophone—”

“No badmouthing my gramophone, Kels.”

“But we don’t have a couch?”

“We’ll buy a couch,” you said, throwing a piece of chocolate in air to catch it with your mouth. “Like, next month. When we can afford it.”

“Maybe we should let your father know his daughter doesn’t have a couch, so that he can send us a gold one.”

You shot her a look and she grinned.

“These jokes will continue, just so you know.”

“I know, I know…” you muttered and pointed at the TV. “Swipe left.”

“No, swipe right!” Caleb told Kelsey who tilted her head, still holding her thumb over her phone screen. You had connected her phone to the TV and for over an hour you were going over the ‘options’ for her as Caleb had put it, and even though you’d had doubts at first, this turned out to be much more fun than watching political news.

“I mean he does give off fuckboy vibes, Caleb.”

“I don’t give a shit, he has a dog,” Caleb said. “One of us has to find someone with a dog. Birdie already has Bucky, who has an asshole cat—”

“I don’t have Bucky, and Alpine is a pretty princess.”

“And I’m a dog person,” Caleb said, pointing at the picture on the screen. “Maybe he’ll bring over his dog.”

“You make a good point,” Kelsey said as she swiped right, and all of you made a face at the next picture on the screen.

“Left!”

“Do you guys think I’ll have to work for someone else?”

“I think Bucky would rather resign himself than fire you,” Kelsey stated and Caleb nodded, taking a fistful of jellybeans into his palm.

“She’s right,” he said. “Do you want the green ones?”

“Yes please,” you said and held out your hand so that he could put the green jellybeans in your palm, and you popped them in your mouth. “And if he doesn’t trust me anymore?”

“That’s why he looked like a kicked puppy when I told Kels you were already home within his earshot?”

You let out a whine and downed your drink. “It’s gonna be so weird when I see him tomorrow.”

“Just pretend nothing happened,” Kelsey said, making Caleb scoff.  

“I’m sure it’s a very healthy approach to disagreements in a relationship.”

“We’re not in a relationship,” you said sulkily as the roar of a motorcycle outside reached the apartment. “He’s in a relationship with Hazel fucking—swipe right on this one Kels—Brooks.”

“Who hates your guts because she knows Bucky likes you.”

“Right,” you said with a laugh. “Because Bucky would ever leave his hot, successful, billionaire girlfriend —who is, if I may repeat, super hot— to be with me.”

“That’s irrelevant.”

You flailed your arms. “We don’t even have a damn couch, Kels!”

“Then he fucks you on the floor, who cares?” Caleb exclaimed as he poured more wine into your glass, and your phone buzzed on the floor. You picked it up, sitting up straighter the moment you saw the text.

From: Winter Is Coming

Hey. Are you awake?

“What the…” you muttered and turned the screen to Caleb and Kelsey so that they could read the text. “Is this a ‘you up’ text? Is Bucky sending me a you up text?”

“The man has to google half of the things I text him, but he’s sending you a you up text, sure.” Kelsey scoffed a laugh. “See, told you things would work out. That’s gonna be an apology text, text him back.”

You sent a quick yes, your heartbeat getting faster as Caleb grinned.

“He’s so lying in bed thinking about you, aw!”

“He’s not doing that— ” You started but you were cut off when your phone buzzed in your hand.

Do you mind stepping outside for a minute?

“Holy shit!”

“Caleb, stop shouting!”

“He’s here?!”

“Oh my God, oh my God…” You jumped on your feet, fanning yourself. “What do I do?”

“Well, you calm down,” Kelsey said, getting up as well. “And you go outside.”

“How do I look?”

“You look great.” Kelsey pulled your top down a little and wiggled her brows. “For good luck.”

You took a deep breath, fixed your hair, and rushed out of the apartment to make your way downstairs, then you stepped out of the building to find him leaning against his motorcycle. 

Goddamn it.

You were supposed to be angry at him, but somehow the butterflies in your stomach refused to listen to you.

“To repeat,” you said as you walked down the stairs and approached him. “I have a doorbell.”

“It’s 2 a.m.” Bucky replied, his eyes fixed on you, making your heart skip a beat. “I figured Caleb and Kelsey would be asleep.”

“Nope, we’re picking guys for Kelsey,” you said. “So what brings you here?”

Bucky paused for a moment and licked his lips.

“I wanted to talk to you,” he said. “About today…”

“Listen, I know you’re gonna say I should’ve told you but you need to understand—”

“I’m sorry.”

That made you stop talking and your eyes snapped up to his, a confused frown pulling your brows together. Bucky gave you an apologetic smile and cleared his throat as if he was willing to get the words out.

“I don’t like it when people hide things from me, and I…” He rubbed the back of his neck, averting his eyes from yours for a moment. “I trust you a lot, so when you—”

You shook your head fervently. “Bucky, I would never betray your trust.”

“I know.”

“Do you?” you insisted. “Because I need you to know that. I would never go behind your back and do anything to—to hurt you in any way.”

That soft light appeared in his blue eyes. “I know.”

“It’s just not who I am.”

“I know, Birdie.”

You bit inside your cheek.

“And I’m sorry too,” you muttered, pressing your palms on your eyes for a moment before dropping your hands. “I swear, something evil comes out of me whenever someone so much as mentions me being anything like him. Especially when I spent years trying to prove that I’m not.”

“I get that.”

You looked down, shifting your weight from one foot to other, then raised your head to smile up at him.

“Do you want to come in?” you asked. “You can help us pick guys for Kels, and there’s wine and snacks.”

“Tempting offer,” he said. “But I’m actually here to drop something off.”

You frowned as he reached into the box behind his motorcycle. “What? I’m pretty sure I got all the files—”

You stopped talking the moment you saw what he pulled out of the box, a gasp leaving your lips and your hands shooting up to your mouth.

Blinky.

He held out the worn out plushie for you and you gawked at him for a couple of seconds before you reached out to take it.

“Wh—how?”

“It was on my way.”

You pulled your brows together, looking down at the fox plushie before raising your glances again.

“My old apartment, which is in New York,” you said slowly, “was on your way to your home, which is in DC.”

Bucky’s lips twitched into a mischievous smile.

“Well okay, it wasn’t,” he admitted. “I just got back to the city, that’s why I texted you at this hour.”

You could feel your heart melting in your chest. “You went all the way to New York to get my childhood plushie back?”

“I still think that counts as a toy,” he pointed out as if it was crucial information. “But you said it was important to you, so…”

Don’t kiss him.

You can’t kiss him. He’s your boss, he has a girlfriend, he does not see you that way, do not kiss him.

“And if anything, I’d been wanting to talk to Max for a while now, so the toy was basically just an excuse.”

“It a plushie—” You changed directions mid-sentence. “What do you mean you talked to Max?”

The look on his face was too innocent. “We just had a conversation, that’s all.”

“About?”

“About him not making anything difficult for you. Or something along those lines.”   

The warmth swirled in the pit of your stomach, making you feel lightheaded as you beamed at him, a giggle climbing your chest.

“Bucky.” You breathed out. “I don’t know what to say...”

“Oh it’s nothing, really.”

“It’s not nothing,” you said. “It’s—it’s amazing. You’re amazing.”

That made his head snap up, his eyes searching yours while a proud smile pulled at his lips like your praise meant the world to him. It could’ve been funny if you weren’t trying so hard to control yourself from kissing him; the deadliest assassin in the world, the infamous Bucky Barnes who barely smiled at anyone, who could strike fear in anyone’s hearts with a mere glare, now had the same expression of an excited puppy who was given a treat.

His throat bobbed and he blinked a couple of times like he was trying to pull himself together, then gestured at his motorcycle. “I uh, I should go.”

You were painfully aware that you were pouting. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” he said. “And hey, I’m sure you’re needed inside too. Can’t have Kelsey choose the wrong guy.”

You huffed out a laugh, hugging a plushie to your stomach and nodded.

“See you tomorrow,” you said quietly and took a couple of steps but then turned around to look at him.

“And…” You cleared your throat, your heart pacing in your chest. “Thank you. It means more than you know.”

His voice was soft: “Good night Birdie.”

He waited until you were in the building to ride away and you pressed a hand over your chest before climbing the stairs to enter your apartment.

“Hey,” Kelsey said. “How did it—is that a plushie?”

“Bucky got you a plushie?” Caleb asked, confusion clear in his tone and you looked down at the plushie, then back at them.

“Guys, we have a problem,” you rasped out, your voice weak even to your own ears. “I think I’m actually falling for him.”

[babyhuggy]

nattys - l. hughes x childhood friend & rower!reader

a social media!au

a/n: a lil self-indulgent social media!au bc ncaas are coming up soon and i had to… also nattys are in jersey this year instead of florida so i thought it was fitting :)

also, this may become a multi-part series depending on if you guys like it!! maybe even going deeper into the background of their friendship/relationship?? lmk if you want to see more!

-

lhughes_06 posted to their story

yourusername a little look into the last week 🫶

liked by texasrowing, texascoxes, ybffuser, lhughes_06, and 13,355 more

yourfriend this is so cute!!!

⤷ yourusername ilysm 🥰

yourteammate1 love love love

⤷ yourteammate2 matching cowboy hats 🫡

texasrowing that's our stroke seat 💪💪

⤷ yourusername starboard side, strong side ☺️

⤷ ybffuser THATS MY BEST FRIEND!!!!

randomuser1 woah what's luke hughes doing here??

⤷ user2 👀

⤷ user3 oop is that a soft launch i see??

⤷ hockeyfan1 guys didn’t the hughes’ say they grew up across the street from her and that they train together over the summers?

⤷ user4 i think they did an interview bc her dad played hockey or coached 🤔

lhughes_06 Michiganders take Austin 🤟 #nattysinaweek

tagged yourusername

liked by yourusername, jackhughes, _quinnhughes, edwards.73, and 22,618 others

dylanduke25 bro just dips and becomes a longhorns fan? unacceptable!!

⤷ yourusername we just do it better here ig 🤷‍♀️

⤷ _quinnhughes Blue and Maize all the way

⤷ yourusername quinny, no.

jackhughes Damn... On main too!

⤷ yourusername oh jack, it was bound to happen...

⤷ lhughes_06 not like we haven't been dating for the last year

⤷ hockeyfan01 THEY'RE DATING?!?!

⤷ randouser1 hard launch alert 🚨🚨

yourusername i love you

elblue6 You guys are so cute!

⤷ yourusername love you mama e!!

⤷ elblue6 Good luck in Florida! We're cheering you on from home!

-

one week later…

yourusername DONE. NATIONAL CHAMPIONS. #hookem

tagged texasrowing

liked by lhughes_06, texasrowing, ybffuser, jackhughes, and 20,876 others

lhughes_06 So proud! I love you!

⤷ yourusername i love you, longtime!! thank you for being there and taking that picture of me and my dad 😚

⤷ ybffuser I love you guys so much its sickening

elblue6 We're so proud of you Yn!!

⤷ yourusername I love you so much! Thank you for your endless support 🥹

jackhughes The only time I'll ever be a Longhorns fan is when you're racing. So freaking proud of you!

⤷ yourusername we've come a long way from those garage shoot outs.. love you jack!

⤷ user1 its the way yn has such a good relationship with luke's family >>

⤷ user2 ik its so cute ☺️

colecaufield Summer training with a natty champ???

⤷ yourusername as if we haven't done that every summer

yourteammate1 LETS FUCKING GO

⤷ ybffuser MY BEST FRIENDS ARE NATIONAL CHAMPIONS

⤷ lhughes_06 MY GIRLFRIEND IS A NATIONAL CHAMPION

⤷ trevorzegras I DONT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ROWING BUT IM PROUD ANYWAYS

lhughes_06 My girlfriend is a national champion and an NCAA Woman of the Year nominee. I love you Yn and I'm so proud to have seen you achieve your dreams over the last decade!

tagged yourusername, texasrowing

liked by yourusername, colecaufield, jackhughes, texasrowing, and 33,508 others

yourusername brb gonna cry

yourusername i love you so much luke

_quinnhughes Watching you grow up and achieve these things is amazing. I love you Yn, proud to call you one of my best friends!

⤷ yourusername love you so much quinny! so so so happy you shanked that puck across the street that one summer

⤷ jackhughes aren't we all?

⤷ lhughes_06 I am 🙋‍♂️

hockeyfan1 whipped

dylanduke25 So happy for you yourusername thanks for making my best friend happy

⤷ yourusername love you duker! thanks for putting up with him while i'm away :)

⤷ edwards.73 Yn out here doing God's work

⤷ lhughes_06 You should have met high school Yn then...

⤷ yourusername LUKE WARREN HUGHES!

⤷ colecaufield Oooo looks like moosey's in trouble!

randomuser I love their interactions and the love they all have for each other!!