#I LOVE THE CARTOON THING where the background looks all fancy n painted but the characters are solid colors

[luck-of-the-drawings]

"I think this is the most inhuman; and human, that I've ever felt.." MUCH CAN HAPPEN IN A YEAR. IN FIVE YEARS. A DECADE. imagine how much can happen in a century. just ONE (1). How will you grow? what phases do you find? even in 5 years, you will find patterns.

[sesamestreep]

stack the deck with wild cards (chapter 2)

(read on AO3)

(start from the beginning)

SUMMARY: Jyn tries to tell Cassian about the pregnancy--and the abortion--but it’s more difficult than she thought it would be. And she was already pretty sure it was going to suck.

A/N: The next installment of the Obvious Child AU. Same warnings apply! See the AO3 links for more details! Discussions of pregnancy, abortion, and unsafe sex abound. Curate your own experience! I love you!

Jyn practically wears a hole in the floor of her apartment from pacing so much, but she does eventually find the courage to tap Cassian’s name on her phone and call him. It’s mid-afternoon on a weekday and she’s gotten precisely nothing done all day because she’s been fretting about this conversation. She tries to remind herself of Bodhi’s reassurances that Cassian will be cool about all of this, but in reality, the only thing that’s actually making her feel better is the thought of getting this part over with, so she can panic about every other aspect of this situation instead.

Cassian mercifully picks up on the second ring. “Hello?” He says, cautiously.

Somehow, despite the fact that she was very intentionally calling him on the telephone, actually hearing his voice still catches her off guard. It doesn’t help that Cassian has a really nice voice, something she’s allowed to notice without it being weird because she's an amateur musician and all. He tends to be pretty quiet in general, but he’s also been know to occasionally go off on a tangent about something he really cares about—some new thing a local politician is doing that he thinks is stupid, or one of the kids he works with doing something amazing with their life that he can’t wait to share—and Jyn somehow does not get bored of listening to him, like she normally would with anyone else who tries to talk to her about politics or children. She’s happy to blame that on the whole nice voice thing and to ignore the part of her brain that’s suggesting maybe she just likes him as a person.

“Hello?” Cassian asks again, sounding more confused this time.

“Cassian, hi,” Jyn says, finally snapping out of her reverie. “It’s Jyn.”

“Yeah, I saw the name on the screen,” he says, not unkindly, and she resists the urge to smack herself on the forehead like she’s in a cartoon.

“Sorry, I, uh, didn’t know if you’d have my number saved or not,” she says, glad he can’t see the way she’s grimacing at her own stupidity.

“Of course I do,” he replies, matter-of-factly. “What can I do for you? Is everything alright?”

Jyn panics at the question and she can’t keep the bristle out of her tone. “Why would something be wrong?”

“I just—I thought something might have happened to Bodhi,” he says, and his tone is hard to read. “You and I don’t normally talk on the phone much.”

We don’t talk much at all , Jyn thinks, petulantly, even though she’s the one who said she would call after they hooked up and then didn’t, so whose fault is it really? If she wanted them to talk more, she could have made that happen and she didn’t. And moreover, she supposes he probably would be her first call if something had happened to Bodhi. They live together after all and, beyond that, Cassian just seems like he’d be good in a crisis. She could imagine leaning on him—trusting him, that is—in a time of stress. Not now, obviously. But in a theoretical situation in an alternate universe where she hadn’t ruined whatever relationship they have or could have with her numerous issues, he’d be the guy to call, she thinks.

“Uh, no, I guess we don’t,” she admits. “Bodhi’s fine, though. So, no worries there.”

“Oh, good,” he replies, with obvious relief. “So, what do you need?”

It doesn’t sound dismissive, but she can’t see him and so she can’t be absolutely certain. Maybe he’s annoyed to hear from her after all this time. It would make sense, but the possibility of it still stings. She forces herself to push past it and keep going.

“I just wanted to tell you—” Jyn is cut off by some murmuring in the background of the call followed by some loud rustling, as if Cassian was blocking the phone’s mic. It only continues for a few seconds, before the sound on the line is clear again.

“Sorry about that, Jyn,” Cassian says, sincerely. “My co-worker needed to ask me something before our meeting and she didn’t realize I was on the phone.”

“Oh,” Jyn says, and that stops her short. She figured he was at work and that wasn’t really the ideal place for him to get this news, but she has no idea what kind of hours he works and she couldn’t bear to put it off any longer. But now, it seems like a terrible idea.

“Do you—I thought you had your own office,” she says, for all it’s a complete non-sequitur. She thought he’d at least be alone when she told him the news.

“Me?” He asks, as if she could mean anyone else. “No, it’s an open floor plan at the office. I just have a cubicle.”

“Oh,” she says again. The idea of breaking this news to Cassian when he’s in full view of his co-workers and won’t be able to process it in private suddenly feels so cruel to Jyn that she can’t even think what to say next.

“Is that a problem?”

“No, no. Not at all. I’m just—I always pictured you as having your own office. Not that I picture you—I don’t think about your work, that is. I just, when I called you, I was imagining an office, that’s all.”

“Right,” Cassian says, evenly. Jyn could sink into the floor, she’s so embarrassed. “Are you sure everything is okay?”

Jyn’s brain is going into panic mode, which is the only explanation for why she blurts out what she does. “I just wanted to know if you were free for dinner,” she practically shouts.

“Dinner?”

“Yes, dinner,” she replies, cheerily, even as the reality of what’s she’s asked hits her like a freight train. That sounds like a date, you moron , her brain shouts at her.

“Me and you?”

Jyn closes her eyes against the embarrassment she feels, both at her suggestion and at his incredulity. “Yeah, me and you,” she answers, and with her eyes shut, she can allow herself to enjoy the idea of it, of getting dinner with him. Like they’re just normal people that like each other and everything is simple.

“When?”

“Is tonight too soon?”

“I don’t have any other plans,” he says and Jyn thinks he might sound nervous. It makes her feel incredible and terrible at the same time. “Did you have somewhere in mind?”

“Um, there’s this Thai place in my neighborhood that I really like,” she says, naming the first place she can think of. Besides, if she has to have this awful conversation over dinner, it might as well be at a place she likes. “If you like Thai food, that is.”

“Yeah. Yes. That sounds great.”

“I’ll send you the address. Could you meet me for 7 o’clock?”

“I’ll have to come directly from work, but if that’s okay with you, 7 is fine.”

“Totally okay with me,” she says, absently thinking of the sweater-and-a-button-up ensembles he normally wears to work and if that’s what he’ll wear to the restaurant tonight. She wonders if he’ll have the sleeves rolled up in the way she finds stupidly attractive for no discernible reason.

“Great,” he says, brightly and then clears his throat. “I’ll see you then.”

“I’m looking forward to it,” Jyn replies, and then wishes she could take it back. She always likes seeing him, but under the circumstances, it sounds so cheery and fake.

Cassian, for his part, seems caught off-guard, but he recovers fairly quickly. “I am too.”

They eventually run out of pleasant almost-sign-offs and have to actually say goodbye and hang up, which leaves Jyn in her empty apartment to continue freaking out. Why had she put this conversation off even further? Obviously, telling him at work was not a great plan, but tricking him into thinking they’re going to have a nice dinner—maybe he even thinks she was asking him out on a date—is somehow worse. The only advantage to this new plan is that he’s very unlikely to cause a scene in a public place. Then again, Jyn has a hard time imagining Cassian causing a scene anywhere. He’s so calm and collected most of the time. That bodes well for how he’ll take her news, but she can’t really be sure.

After texting him the address for the restaurant, Jyn copes with the stress of her impending dinner by trying on literally every outfit she owns, in order to figure out what to wear. It can’t be too fancy or too sexy because she needs Cassian to know it’s not a date, but she also doesn’t want to look casual or frumpy, though she doesn’t examine her motives for wanting to look good for this awkward dinner too closely. By the end of this process, most of her clothing is in a pile on her bed that she will have to clear off later in order to go to sleep—a problem for future Jyn, as always—and she’s selected a pair of black overalls that seem to be the item with the least paint on them in her entire wardrobe to wear over a cropped sweater. It’s a cute outfit that doesn’t explicitly scream “DATE NIGHT” but also doesn’t make her feel hideous, which, for all her pregnancy isn’t far along, is a hard feeling to come by, thanks to the hormones.

She picks out shoes to match and even puts on some makeup and tries to get her bangs to look normal, which kills enough time that, if she walks to the restaurant instead of being lazy and taking a cab, she might actually beat Cassian there, even though he’s aggressively early to everything. After the obligatory search for wherever she left her keys—a daily ritual for her—she sets out for the restaurant feeling only a little queasy with what she assumes are nerves.

The restaurant is busy enough for a weekday evening but Jyn only has to wait a few minutes for a table. She warns the waiter she’s expecting someone and orders an iced tea while she waits. She bobs one knee up and down furiously underneath the table, anxious for Cassian to show up and secretly wishing he won’t so she can just go home and pretend none of this is really happening. Though she tries not to, she still watches the door like a hawk, practically jumping out of her seat every time someone walks through the main entrance.

Cassian shows up at 7:02 PM, leaving Jyn very little time to freak out alone, for all it felt like an eternity. She’s watching as he comes through the door and speaks to the hostess, so she sees him run a hand through his hair in what she assumes is a nervous gesture and her throat goes very dry, both at how attractive he is and at the idea of fucking up his night like she’s about to. It’s just then that the hostess points in her direction and Cassian’s gaze lands on her, which means Jyn gets to watch as his polite but guarded look melts into something more familiar and affectionate and relieved. He’s relieved to see her , she thinks, incredulously, even as she waves at him. Did he think she would stand him up? Did he think he imagined their entire phone call?

“Hi,” he says, a little breathlessly, as he reaches the table.

Jyn stands abruptly from her seat, for lack of anything better to do and leans into him at the same moment he leans towards her. She has a brief moment of panic where she thinks he might kiss her—not that a kiss from him would be a bad thing, generally speaking, but she would feel guilty under the circumstances—and so she swerves gracelessly to the left. Her mouth collides with the side of his face as he wraps an arm around her in a loose hug and she realizes, belatedly, that she completely misjudged what he was going for. She doesn’t allow herself to linger in the embrace, even if she kind of wants to, and pulls back quickly, before she can get used to the warm weight of his hand on her back.

“I’m sorry I’m late,” he says, when she’s dropped back into her seat and he’s busied himself with removing his jacket and scarf.

Jyn resists the urge to laugh at that, knowing he’s being completely earnest. He was two minutes late, that’s nothing, she wants to say, but she waves off his apology without a word.

“Did you have any trouble finding the place?” She asks, instead.

“No, not at all,” he says, as he sits across from her. “The train was just delayed.”

“As always.”

He smiles at that, leaning forward on his elbows on the table, and it makes Jyn wistful for the version of tonight where they are just out to dinner for fun. In that version, the only thing she has to be nervous about is if they’ll go home together at the end of the night. In reality, she knows there’s no chance of that happening, but some part of her longs for it. She wishes she’d called him two months ago, back when things were simple—or, at least, simpler—and asked him to this same restaurant. It could have been nice, feeling these nerves for all the good reasons instead of why she has them now.

“So, I was—”

“Have you—?”

They both speak at the same time and Cassian’s eyes crinkle at the corners when he laughs, which is so unfairly cute that Jyn can’t even laugh in return at their shared mishap.

“You go,” he says.

“I, uh—” Jyn starts to say, but she’s interrupted by the waiter returning with her drink and asking if he can get Cassian anything.

“Just water, thank you.”

“Are you sure?” Jyn asks before she can stop herself. She doesn’t know why she thinks adding alcohol to this situation will help, but she also thinks he might want to drink once he hears her news. “It’s my treat.”

Cassian looks puzzled by this, but his features clear after a second. “I’m good, really,” he says, before turning back to the waiter. “Thank you.”

The waiter hurries off, leaving them alone again. Cassian opens his menu and begins scanning through the first section, before looking up at her with obvious concern.

“Do you already know what you’re getting?” He asks.

“Oh,” Jyn says, flattening her palm on her unopened menu. “Yes, but just because I always get the same thing here. Their pad see ew is really good.”

Cassian nods, as if this is fascinating information to him. “I’m going to have to read through the menu, unfortunately,” he says, apologetically.

She makes an exaggerated hand gesture that is meant to bat his apology away but in truth conveys absolutely nothing. “Take your time,” she says, to clarify.

Cassian reading his menu gives Jyn some time to regroup and also to note that he is, in fact, wearing a navy blue cable knit sweater over what looks to be a light blue button-up. The sleeves aren’t rolled up to his elbows, which is disappointing, but she assumes that’s because it’s freezing outside. He’s also biting his lip as he concentrates on reading, which is simultaneously very cute and completely hot. She realizes she’s been staring at him intently half a second after Cassian does.

“What’s the matter?” He asks, looking embarrassed.

“No, it’s—nothing!”

“I should be making conversation, shouldn’t I?”

“No, don’t worry about that,” Jyn says, hurriedly. It’s not like she can just tell him she was staring because he’s stupidly handsome. “I just got lost in thought for a second.”

“Do you come here often?” He asks, completely sincerely and Jyn laughs before she can stop herself.

“Sorry,” she says, when she’s regained her self-control. “That’s just such a line. I know you didn’t mean it that way, but—”

Before she can finish her sentence or Cassian can defend himself like he clearly wants to, something lands at their feet with a thump and a rattle. Cassian leans down to retrieve it and returns with one of those baby toys with different bits that all make different noises or have different textures. It’s done up entirely in bright primary colors and seems to have a smiling puppy’s head at the very top. A screech from the table behind them alerts Jyn to the item’s true owner.

Cassian twists in his chair to offer the toy back to a chunky toddler with a mop of riotous curls who’s sitting in a high chair at the next table over. “I take it this is yours,” he says, very seriously to the baby, who squawks delightedly at the sight of the toy.

The child’s mother, sitting with an older child on the other side of the table, gives Cassian a grateful smile. “Can you say ‘thank you?’” She asks in a pleasant voice. The baby just gurgles in response, leaving the woman to thank Cassian herself.

Cassian turns back to Jyn with an amused smile on his face that honestly overwhelms her. It’s rare to see him smile without a hint of self-deprecation or irony to it. If she put her mind to it, she could probably count the number of genuine smiles like that she’s seen on one hand. He’s almost always pulling them back, reining them in, for whatever reason.

“Anyway,” he says, turning his full attention back to her. “You were making fun of me for using a generic line on you.”

“I wasn’t,” Jyn says, and can’t help smiling herself. “I knew that’s not what you meant. You were really just asking if I come here often.”

“Yes, I was.”

“I do, to answer your question. It’s my favorite place for takeout, when I’m too lazy to cook, which is almost always.”

“You don’t eat in? With this ambience?” He asks, gesturing around the place.

“Hey, don’t judge their decor,” she fires back, more defensive than she would have expected herself to be. There are a million string lights everywhere, and the walls are painted a very aggressive shade of red, and the owners decorate to the nines for every single holiday, which means there’s hearts and lace and chubby Cupids wielding arrows everywhere for Valentine’s Day. “It’s fun.”

“Very,” Cassian agrees, with one of his small cryptic smiles. It makes Jyn remember with sudden clarity how fun it was to kiss him, to feel that smile against her lips.

She shakes herself out of it, focusing on the present. “I suppose your favorite restaurant is very chic and minimalist with its decor,” she says.

“No, I wouldn’t say that,” he replies, giving the matter some consideration. “Honestly, I don’t go out for dinner a lot. I prefer to cook at home.”

“Well, I’ve been to your apartment,” she says, trying not to feel inadequate by comparison. “It’s pretty chic.”

It doesn’t occur to her what she’s said until after the words are out of her mouth. She obviously just meant that she’s been over to visit Bodhi before, but when Cassian gives her a surprised look in response, she realizes she has also unwittingly brought to mind the time they hooked up. It’s not an artful segue by any means, but she does need to get this over with and stop pretending they can just sit here and have a nice meal together, like normal people.

“Actually, that reminds me,” she begins, bracing herself for how much this is going to suck, “there’s something I wanted to tell you—”

Their neighbor at the next table chooses that perfect moment to toss their horrible mutated puppy toy at Jyn’s feet again and it breaks her concentration. Cassian, who’d been watching her and listening intently a second beforehand, spots the toy on the ground and leans to pick it up again before Jyn can even think to react. Instead of just turning around and handing it over again, he actually gets up and goes over to the baby this time, crouching in front of the high chair.

“You know, if you keep throwing this around, you might lose it,” he says, very solemnly, to the child. “Somebody might kick it into the kitchen. My friend over there might accidentally take it home with her.” The baby swivels around to look at Jyn and smiles at her with drooly gums that do nothing to make her want a child of her own. She smiles weakly in response.

“Anything could happen,” Cassian continues, drawing the baby’s attention back to him. “I don’t want you to lose it. Your mother doesn’t want you to lose it. You don’t want to lose it.” He’s saying all of this with that faux-serious tone people adopt with children, as if they’re grown-ups who understand what’s going on but also with a slight sing-song lilt to it. “So, no more throwing, okay?”

The baby shrieks and reaches for the toy, which Cassian pulls just slightly out of reach, delighting the child further.

“Do we have an agreement?” He asks, holding out his hand, as if the child is a small businessman he’s making a deal with. The baby smacks a drool-soaked palm against Cassian’s in response, which makes him smile. “Very good.”

As he stands up, the child’s mother says something quietly to him, which Cassian waves off nonchalantly. He turns and drops back into his seat across from Jyn as if nothing has happened.

“Sorry about that,” he says. “You were saying…”

Jyn’s throat feels completely dry and speaking feels beyond her abilities at the moment, so she reaches for her drink before she replies. “You have a way with kids, huh?” She says, gesturing to their friends at the next table.

“Oh, that?” He asks, shrugging it off. “I guess so. I helped a lot with my sister when she was that age. My grandmother tells me I was so obsessed with babies that my parents had another kid just so I’d stop bugging them about it.”

“Huh,” Jyn says, trying to sound noncommittal while she’s panicking internally. God, of course he loves kids. Why would this be easy?

Cassian, however, is oblivious to her distress, looking back over his shoulder at the family at the next table. “I’m really excited to have a bunch of little ones running around soon,” he says, out of nowhere, and Jyn’s stomach turns over.

She’s standing before she can even form a thought. She doesn’t know what she’s doing, but she knows she can’t stay here. The sudden movement draws Cassian’s attention back to her and he looks up at her in alarm.

“Jyn, are you okay?”

“I, uh,” she says, struggling for a lie that will get her out of there fast enough. “I think I left the oven on at my place, actually. So I have to go, right now.”

“Oh,” Cassian says, looking concerned and maybe even a little disappointed. “Well, I can go with you, or walk you out, if you—” He goes to put his coat on and Jyn throws her arm out to stop him, which just alarms him further.

“No need,” she says, half-frantic. She fishes her wallet out of her coat pocket and takes a few bills out, flinging them at the table in her urgency. “For my drink.”

“Oh, there’s no—”

“I’ll, uh—I’ll call you,” Jyn says, already rushing for the door. It doesn’t occur to her until she’s halfway to her apartment that she said the exact same thing the last time she ran out on him too.

[nyamvember]

TAG MASTERPOST

I was tagged by @mochikissme (sorry it took me so long to do it)

No Hallyu Tag

10 groups/artists you like besides Kpop/liked before Kpop: (IM LITERALLY THE WORST PERSON TO ASK THESE. IF IT ISN’T KPOP, IT’S MUSICALS OR MOVIE SOUNDTRACKS RIP)

Beyonce

Ariana Grande

Adele

Christina Aguilera

Fergie

Fifth Harmony

High School Musical Cast

Hairspray Cast

Into The Woods Cast

JoJo

10 favorite non-kpop songs:

Into You- Ariana Grande (The whole Dangerous Woman album tbh)

All I Ask- Adele

Bootylicious- Destin’y Child

Look But Don’t Touch- Serayah

Fergalicious- Fergie

Step Up- The Cheetah Girls (DONT JUDGE ME)

Can I Have This Dance- Vanessa Hudgens and Zac Efrom

Yoga- Janelle Monae and Jidenna

Too Little, Too Late- JoJo

Heartburn- NLT

10 favorite movies:

ALL THREE HIGH SCHOOL MUSICALS

Hairspray (The one with Zac Efron)

Bratz

Johnson Family Vacation

She’s The Man

The Lorax

Horton Hears A Who

Into The Woods

The Cat in The Hat

Mean Girls

10 favorite tv shows, including anime & cartoons:

Friends

The Office

Ouran Host Club

Haikyuu!

Kuroko no Baske

Bob’s Burgers

Working!

Modern Family

Black-ish

American Housewife

10 favorite manga/comics:

I don’t read Manga or Comics

10 things you enjoyed before kpop/enjoy besides kpop, that won’t fit in the lists above:

Baking/ Cooking

Singing

Reading

Photography

Hair/Make-up Tutorials

THE SIMS 4 OMG (my best friend got me HOOKED)

Watching Movies

Hanging out with my friends (since college, we spend majority of the year away from each other, and during the summers we all work so time together is precious)

Watching TV

Crafting

Ten Tag

last movie you watched: High School Musical 2 (but let’s be honest, I performed that movie)

last song you listened to: HER- Block B (it’s playing rn lol)

last show you watched: Mr. Young (it’s on Netflix and I really just play it as background noise when I sleep lol)

last book you read?: Last Year’s Mistake

last thing you ate?: Cheddar Blasted Goldfish

if you could be anywhere in the world right now where would you be: Wherever my husband Namjoon is

when would you time travel to: The world has been fucked up, so I’d just stay here. The past was shit and I’m scared for the future of my country.

first thing you would do with lottery money: BUY A CAR OMG. Not even a fancy one either, I want the Nissan Murano

 character you would hang out with for a day? I don’t think I have one :/

time right now: 5:39 pm

first letter of your name tag

What is your name? - Caitlyn

A four letter word? - cool

A boy’s name? - Caiden

An occupation? - Chef

Something you wear? - Clothes lololol

A color? - cerulean

A food? - corn

Something you find in the bathroom? - cold water

A place? - College aka DEATH

A reason for being late? - couldn’t find the keys

Something you shout? - CAN YOU STOP (me @ bangtan)

A movie title? - Clueless

Something you drink? - Cola

An animal? - cat

A type of car? - carolla

Title of a song? - Can’t by GOT7

fave kpop songs of 2016

Blood, Sweat, and Tears by BTS

Fire by BTS

Hard Carry by GOT7

Boombayah by BlackPink

I’m Jelly Baby by AOA Cream

Boom Boom by Seventeen

Highlight by Seventeen

Lie by BTS Jimin

Begin by BTS Jungkook

Reflection by my husband BTS Rap Monster

MAMA by my second husband BTS J-Hope

Stigma by BTS V aka Kim Taehyung

Awake by BTS Jin

First Love by BTS Suga

Monster by EXO

Lucky One by EXO

Hey Mama! by EXO- CBX

1 of 1 by SHINee

Prove It by GOT7

Rewind by GOT7

Honeybee by Hani, Solar, and Luna

Firetruck by NCT 127

The 7th Sence by NCT U

I’m gonna stop here cause this could LITERALLY go on forever.

url tag (kpop edition)

o- Oh!: SNSD (Girl’s Generation)

v- Very Very Very: IOI

e- Embarrassed: BTS

r- Russian Roulette: Red Velvet

t- TT: Twice

h- Hard Carry: GOT7

e- Expectation: Seventeen

m- Monster: EXO

o- Outro: Wings: BTS

o- OMGT: Madtown

n- Not Today: BTS

j- Jam Jam: Seventeen

o- Only You: Miss A

o- One Of These Nights: Red Velvet

n- No More Dream: BTS

kpop tag

who was your first female bias? - Sunny (SNSD)

who was your first male bias? - Namjoon (BTS)

who are your current biases? (other than the ones above) - Hoseok, Minseok, Kyungsoo, Minho, Kibum, GOT7(nope, still can’t choose one), Hoshi, Heechul, Momo, Wonho, Jooheon, Hyungwon, etc.

in the entire kpop industry who is closest to your ideal type? - KIM “automatic dick” Namjoon

have you ever attended any kpop concert/fan meeting/fansign? - no TT

if yes, which group/artist? how was the experience? - N/A :/

which group/artist would you like to see live? - BTS, GOT7, Monsta X, Seventeen, Twice, Block B, SHINee, SNSD, EXO, etc.

how did you get into kpop? - I saw IGAB years ago and liked it but then it left my brain and then a friend on Snapchat posted herself rapping Hoseok’s part in Boy in Luv and I was curious, fell in love with Namjoon and I’ve been sucked down the rabbit hole since.

who are your otps? - ALL OF THEM. I’M NOT EVEN KIDDING. I SHIP EVERYTHING (except minors and my children)

when did u start to ship them? - Idk, it just happened

what is your favorite fanfic genre? - I don’t have a specific genre, but I only read Kiwi’s fics and I love all her writing (PS, you should check her out here)

what is your favorite music genre? - I like romantic songs, or rnb, or pop, or just whatever catches my fancy.

five things tag

5 things you’ll find in my bag

Lip balm

Wallet

Candy (of some sort, my friends enjoy that part)

Keys

Portable charger

5 things you’ll find in my bedroom

A shit ton of electronics

glitter

pillows

Paint

Books (OMG THE BOOKS)

5 things I’ve always wanted to do in my life

Travel overseas

Go on a Girl’s Trip

Have a “Treat Yo Self” Day

Go to a concert

Meet a Celebrity I actually like

5 things I’m currently into

Kpop

Kdrama

Photography

Crafting

Make-up

5 things on my to-do list:

Finish all the work for March in my online class

Organize my attire for Spring Break

My Korean Lessons

Idk lolol

5 things people may not know about me:

I care for friendship more than anything because friends are people who choose to be in your life so I appreciate my friends above anything.

I’m really shy and awkward but I’m super fun and chill once I get used to someone.

Sometime’s I don’t reply in groupchats not because I don’t want to, but because the service in my dorm is literally the shittiest so I don’t get things until late if I’m in my room (which is where I am 90% of the time) and I feel really bad or sometimes I’m sleep or in class (where I can’t be on my phone)

I like learning new things and trying new things, so I’m open to most things (unless I’m allergic)

I love musicals, like, ALOT

random k-pop

rules: go to this website: www.random.org/lists/ and pick 15 of your bias/faves.

mum/dad: Taehyung

sibling: Jackson

grandma/grandad: Yoongi

haunts you: Minseok

boyfriend/girlfriend: Hoseok (DEAR LORD IM IN HEAVEN)

your ex: Jin

your bestfriend: Jooheon

proposed to you: Namjoon (BLESS YES)

your boss: Kibum

random person you meet at a bar: Momo

rival: Sunny

first kiss: Jimin

drunk and singing karaoke: Jungkook

played 7 minutes in heaven with: Wonho

gave you your favourite dessert: Minho

This was long but I enjoyed it.

Idk who to tag, so if you see this and we’re mutuals....TAG YOU’RE IT!!

[archive-of-fics]

child!reader - Uta

"Daddy?" "Hm?" You watched him working, curiousity shining in your eyes. There was something so fascinating about the way your father worked. He would hunch over in his stool, stooping over his desk that was littered with carving tools and squares of leather and sketch sheets. There was a cup on the table, painted with "#1 Dad" and decorated with (f/c) (favourite animals). It was last years Father's Day gift, which you'd given him so he could hold his pencils in. But he had so many that they spilled out of their holder and across the table top. "Why are you so pretty?" Uta blinked owlishly at you, face impassive. But his black sclera and red irises shimmered with something soft and loving. "It's because you're so pretty. Only a worthy father could create something as wonderful as you," he hummed, voice gentle and calm like it always was. No matter how bold you were, annoying his customers or rooting through his things and finding that clown mask he kept hidden (which he made you swear to keep secret), he had never, ever, not even once risen his voice at you. He was as calm as a Summer's breeze. You giggled, swinging your legs happily. Perched up on a table near his work desk, you used it almost as a throne as you sat atop it and observed the customers milling in and out or watching your father work. Other children, passing by outside, were going to spend the day at school but you spent yours with your Dad. Uta had bought you your own sketch book to occupy your mind. It was plain and black on the outer cover but on the first page, you'd written your name (with Kaneki's help because reading and writing wasn't your strong point) in fancy letters then drawn your favourite foods and characters from the colourful programme's you watched. Maybe you couldn't understand much academic stuff, like letters and numbers, but drawing was certainly your strong point. It came easy to you and you used it to express the things you couldn't spell. "Was my Mom pretty?" you wondered. "She was the most beautiful ghoul ever," Uta said, hand pausing as it sketched the general shape of a persons face. "Or, at least, I thought so. Everyone else found her scary because she had many piercings and tattoos like me but she was very peaceful and generous, which is what made her so beautiful to me. She used to give free food to any homeless ghouls around, pretending it was beef to the humans in the neighbourhood." "Humans are silly," you said, nose crinkling. "They eat yucky stuff instead of nice things like us ghouls do." "Their strangeness is what fascinates me," Uta confessed. "It fascinated your mother too. She worked at a bookstore nearby and befriended a human there. They were such good friends that she even met you once or twice when they walked around the park in the evenings. The human eventually found out that your mothers food for the homeless was actually human flesh for ghouls and she reported her to the doves. It was them who killed her, back when you were very, very small." He'd never told you that before. Or much about your mother, at all. And you'd never thought much about her so didn't ask any questions. Mostly because you never longed for her. With Yoshimura and the ghouls at Anteiku and your Dad around, you never felt lonely. You never once craved for a female presence, what with Touka tugging a brush through your hair and painfully forcing out all the knots in your hair and Irimi carefully scrubbing your hair in the bath to keep the suds out of your eyes. Then there was Hinami, your best friend who was only a little older than you. And when Kaneki came along, he would read to you and Hinami and you'd gotten good enough at writing and reading that you could now even spell your own name; which you'd proudly scrawled in your sketchbook. It was weird to hear about your mother. "Do you miss her?" you asked. Uta set down his sketchbook, pushing it aside and making his way over to you. After picking you up, he set you on his hip and rested his chin atop your head. With your nose buried in his neck, smelling the savoury scent of his last meal and the sultry perfume of his cologne. With your index finger, you traced the Greek letters around his neck. "Yes, but it's not painful. My heart doesn't ache because I have you to keep me happy. As long as I have you, my little (prince/ss), then I don't need anything else. What more could I ask for?" "Daddy, you're silly," you beamed, pressing against him shyly and throwing one around his neck. Your fingers started fiddling with his hair, running through the dark locks. "Why am I silly?" "Because," you said evasively, not having an actual answer. But there was just something so mushy about what he said that it made your heart hurt and your insides tingle and feel funny. It made you blush for some reason. "You're just silly," you said eventually. "And you're even sillier," he said, picking up your sketchbook that you'd left on the table which you'd claimed as your throne. "Look at this," he said, nodding down at your drawing. "Your proportions are all wrong," he chided. Earlier, he had asked for a "second-hand artists" opinion on a mask for Kaneki Ken and you'd decided that the sullen-looking boy needed a cool mask, one with a dinosaur on it or a robot. But you always drew the eyes too high, since drawing them in the middle of the skull didn't look right, no matter how many times Uta had told you it was. And ears seemed too big when you drew them from eyebrow to nose, even if that's how they were supposed to be, so you liked to draw smaller ears and make your own proportions. "But faces look better that way," you muttered. "Hm, but if Kaneki put on his mask and his ears didn't fit or his eye holes were on his forehead, it wouldn't look good then, would it?" "Yes, it would," you huffed stubbornly. The bell above the door chimed, stopping whatever retort Uta had. A subtle floral scent fluttered in, the natural flavour of whatever unfortunate human had wandered in. The girl stood by the door looking uncomfortable when her gaze locked with yours since you looked over Uta's shoulder at her, his back facing the human. Her teeth nipped at the silver ring on her full lower lip, sucking it before releasing it then repeating. "Um, I - I was wondering if you did masquerade masks? Like for school dances?" You looked up into the black sclera and red irises that your father tended to always keep activated unless he was in public with you, taking you clothes shopping or buying you cool new pencils with cartoons on them and animal-shaped rubbers. When he sent you a sweet smile, kissing your temple, you knew to activate your kakugan too. Dinner was being served. . "Uncle Yomo!" you screeched, running full force at the tall, muscled man and colliding with his leg, latching on tightly. He didn't even flinch, reaching down to pat your (h/c) hair as a way of greeting. "Aww, don't I get such a warm welcome too?" Itori asked, wandering in the door of HySy ArtMask Studio. There was a coldness to her that you didn't like. Something off about her demeanour that made you distrust her. Once, you'd told Yomo about that gut feeling of yours. He was very perceptive, quite and in the background so he picked up on things like that too. He'd patted your hair, much like he always does, saying you were too young to know the truth. He'd said it like it was a secret, one that Itori didn't know he knew, so you pinky promised that you wouldn't tell anyone - even your Dad. It was this loyalty of yours that made Yomo so attached to you. And you'd grown attached to him too, loving the silent man's presence. He was so soothing and he always listened, never talking down to you like other adults did. But you would never feel attached to Itori. "Don't make such a face at me!" she tutted. "A cute little (girl/boy) like you shouldn't frown like that." "Get out of my Studio," you ordered. "You're not a paying customer and you're not food so you have no business being here." "Eh?! Then why can Yomo-kun be here? Unless ... " she crept towards you, the light glinting off the diamonds around her neck as she fluttered her long lashes, "you have a wittle crush on Yomo-kun?" Your face turned redder than her hair. "You're barred from here! Get out!" you shouted. A hand on your head made you flinch. Looking up, you saw the upside down face of your father looking down at you. His piercings glittered in the artificial light like Itori's jewellery, contrasting with the black ink of his tattoos. From such an angle, his lips looked upturned. But his tone held no such annoyance, as cool and peaceful as it always was. "(Y/N)," he said. "Don't be rude to my friend." "What if that friend is an idiot and has bad breath?" "Even if that friend is an idiot and has bad breath." You sighed. "Fine then. But make sure she leaves before my bedtime. I want you to read me a story without her adding a gloom to the atmosphere." "Of course. Now, why don't you show your boyfriend your new drawings while I get us all something to drink?" "He's not my boyfriend!" you huffed, stomping your foot and marching over to Yomo, grabbing his hand and dragging him over to your throne of a table. Climbing up onto the stool, you shakily climbed from there to the table and plopped down, patting the space next to you. "This is where you can sit." Yomo surprised you, sitting on the stool and lifting you up, resting you on his lap. You squeaked, turning pink. With shaky hands, you shyly opened the front cover to the first page with your name proudly written in fancy letters.

"L - Look, that's my name, see? Kaneki's been teaching me and Hinami how to read and write better. She's quicker at picking it up than me but Daddy said that's cause she's older. I'm good at writing my name though, see? Do you like it?" "It's impressive," he hummed softly, resting his chin on top of your head. His beard scratched your skin but in a way that made you giggle and your toes curl up. "And this is what I'm working on at the moment," you said, flipping on a couple pages to the mask you were drawing for Kaneki. "It's for that new worker at Anteiku, the one that Hinami thinks Touka has a crush on. He always looks so scared and sad so I thought that drawing cute things for his mask would make him smile more." "Excellent idea," Yomo agreed. Shyly, you slowly turned to the next page. "And this is my family portrait. B - but it's only a rough sketch so it's gonna look better in the proper one!" In the middle of the drawing was a crudely drawn version of yourself, mostly because you'd never payed much attention to the way your hair parted or how you looked overall. But to your left, clutching your hand, was Uta. You'd given up on trying to draw his many tattoos and piercings so drew black squiggles and dots instead. To his left was Touka, drawn with hands on hips because that's how you always pictured her - scolding someone for something or another.

 Yoshimura was drawn behind her, arms folded behind his back and a smile on his face because that's how he always greeted you when you went to Anteiku. Kaneki had been drawn in on the far right, as a last minute thing, because you hadn't known him for very long but he was so nice to you that you felt mean leaving him out. Then, holding your right hand, was a drawing of Yomo. You'd spent a lot of time on him, made obvious by the indentations around him from your drawing, rubbing it out, then trying again. That happened a few times. It was just so hard to draw him as you always envisioned him. He didn't translate as well on to paper as in real life. You weren't exactly sure how to do it perfectly but you kept trying. "It's beautiful," he said. "I can tell you put a lot of hard work into it." His fingers lightly traced over the page, as if adding it all to memory. He gazed down at the lines on Yoshimura's face, amazed that a child could remember so much detail that people without an artistic view of the world wouldn't have noticed; such as the heavy creases on Yoshimura's old face or that subtle tilt of Touka's head when she was scolding someone. Then there's the slump to Uta's shoulders that Yomo never noticed before until looking at that drawing. "Don't ever change," he said suddenly. "Stay yourself forever." "Okay," you said, holding out your pinky finger. "I promise." He linked his pinky through yours, cool eyes piercing through you as you tilted your head back to look up at him. . "This one or this one?" Uta asked. "That one!" you said, pointing to the book in his right hand. "We already read the other one, like, three thousand bajillion and twelve times." "Okay," he said, slipping the book back into its place your bookshelf and carrying the other one over to your bed and laying down beside you. He curled himself around you, like a protective shield, warming you up as he flipped to the first page. "A long, long time ago," he began. "There was a little ghoul named (Y/N)." You laughed loudly, realizing he was making his own story up. "(S/he) was the most intelligent and most talented ghoul in all of Tokyo. The child had a natural flare for art, no doubt due to (her/his) handsome father. Why are you laughing? That wasn't even a joke." You laughed harder. Uta sighed, carrying on. "And even though (s/he) only had one parent growing up, (s/he) never once cried about it or acted out." "But I like having you a lot, Daddy," you said. "I don't need anyone else." He shushed you gently. "This story isn't about you, remember? It happened a long, long time ago. And even though (Y/N) had no siblings to play with or school friends, (s/he) was always on (her/his) best behaviour and helped Daddy out so much in the Studio. Even though Daddy might do some chaotic and destructive things, he will always care for his little (Y/N) very much." You didn't understand why he was still pretending you weren't who the story was about or what he was talking about, but you just nodded because what else was there to say? Uta pressed a delicate kiss to your nose, nuzzling you for a moment before pulling away to climb off the bed. He shuffled over to the bookshelf, setting the book back.

"Goodnight, precious one," he said, turning the light off and leaving the door open just a crack as he walked out. You were afraid of the doves getting in at night, tearing your family apart just for being ghouls, just like they ripped other families apart and left nothing but bloody remains. So to settle your fear, your Dad left the door open so a little light could filter into your bedroom. "Night, Daddy!" you called out.