#I WAS GONE FOR 10 MINUTES WHAT THE FUCK
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NOOOOOO MY CAT GOT INTO MY CHAMELEON FLAKES AND THEYâRE ALL OVER HER FACE AND THE FLOOR AND MY ROOM LOOKS LIKE FUCKING MARDI GRAS
#I WAS GONE FOR 10 MINUTES WHAT THE FUCK#all my makeup is in a lockbox too?????!?!?!!?#HOW IN THE ACTUAL HECK#omfg I donât have time to clean it well either im fucking working still akdhajdbAJSHJAD#jesus mother of fucking baby pissfuck shit bucket fuckadoodledoo I gotta GO#apple babble đ#non fandom#CATS ARE JERKS
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i hate being an adult but i hated being a teenager. let me be like 5 years old again.
#aka i have to call the car place to see what fixing my car will look like and as always i â¨ď¸dont want toâ¨ď¸#BUT im trying to take good care of this car and it should HOPEFULLY not be expensive or weird to fix#since its just like. the plastic on the bottom of my car.#but its only tied up with some shitty tape and i dont want that breaking and my car somehow getting further fucked up#im also annoyed as shit about it bc my sister did it and i just.#she said it broke when she went over traintracks and that she 'didnt notice' until i started driving the car#fun part is i KNOW the nearest traintracks she couldve gone over are more than 10min from my place#your telling me yoi didnt notice. for more than 10 minutes. and going over the speedbumps at my apartment??#nah#you noticed. you just didnt think it was a big deal so you didnt dtop to look.#just. GRHEHGG#i really need to call my mom to complain to her about the situation bc im at the end of my rope for real right now#im GOING to start biting of heads soon#shh ac
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any time i remember time lord victorious arc i start shaking like a sick fucking dog
#having an extraordinarily hard time watching waters of mars rn literally episode of all fucking time#they dont make them like this anyMOOOOOOOOOORE OHHMY GODDDD#icould talk abt it for hours istg it's so. grips you shakes you shakes you shakes you shakes you sh#the WAYYDYDYDHDHDJDJDJDUJDJDHDJDUDJD THHHEEEE THE THE THE . HTHHEHEH#the way u can see glimpses of what's to come in all 4 seasons but especially in voyage of the#damned and then s4 onwards but u dont realise JUST how much he went insane until now#like there's echoes of this in votd but you might not even pick up on it if you dont Know#n here he's just fully gone it's sooo. IT'S SOOOOOOOOOOO. CHARACTER OF ALL TIME#man so profoundly tragic his entire story is abt speedrunning losing everything and#going insane and dying. and yet he still spends like 20 entire minutes crying and begging not to die. okay#i cant rank drs they're my best friends so idk who my fave dr is but 10's is easily my favourite story it's so. it's SOOO.#anyway sorry. stops shaking you and pats your arms down awkwardly. carry on#doctor who#dw lb#10th doctor#the waters of mars#time lord victorious#i was today years old when i learned there's apparently a whole audio series about it that#came out in the past few years. well i aint listenin to that. everything i need is on my screen already#also. the way most ppl havent even seen these specials coz they're impossible to find online..#even tho waters of mars is like. not just extremely important but also yknow. extremely good
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WE STILL GOT ARCANEEEEE
#ambessa saying mel is safer as their enemy..... OOF we are going to get her side of the story this season#one thing i dont like is that they are really hauling ass in the first episode like damn. cait and vi are too quickly on the way to raid imo#i cannot velieve my fucking eyes..... vi dropping her gauntlets to keep kissing akdhaksjsk and OF COURSE cait is the one to do it OF COURSE!#were is thay gif of the butch watching football and raising her fist bc they scored that is me right now aldjsksnsl#vi saying please dont change bc she is seeing the signs is so AJDHAKSJK the break up will end lives..... i see why vi becomes an alcoholic#salo and cait wlw mlm hostility for reals#ambessa seeing cait as a rival the second she does her job and uses her military power.... yeah bc she has a real goal not just power grab#jayce fucking up vi and cait by messing with the arcane omg they are IN DANGER!!! JAYCE STOP FUCKING UUUP!!!!#OH MY GOD CAITLYN!!!!! HITTING VI ENOUGH FOR HER TO CRY OH MY GOOOOOD!!!#THERE IS JUST SO MUCH AKDJSKSKAL THE CHILD!!!! JINX GOT A NEW SISTER NOW VI GOODBYE#also vi wasnt going to kill her and jinx told the child to stop.... the only person there willing was cait and look at her.....#also sevika vs cait.... oof.... and jinx fighting vi BARE FISTED!!! GIRL!!!!#what can i fucking say like god.... âis her blood through your veinsâ âi thought you were differentâ#jinx is right i hope they got to you know before all of this akdjaksjsk.... christ#also amazing how vi told cait to don't change and she did it 10 minutes later.... girl you are in for it...#i think they just dont understand each other yet but they are in such a situation that they keep changing every 2 minutes so they never do#does that make sense loke ofc cait changed when her mother died and vi did too bc she accepted that her sister was gone#so in a way cait changed and vi stayed the same.... cait liked her âchangeâ but vi did not like cait#ambessa bringing caitlyn to.be a general oh my gooooood her stress is going to get thru the roof like she doesn't have enough to deal with#its bc she knows she can control her... of course she offered her army to her.... and she doesn't mind putting her in danger#AND SHE DID ORCHESTRATE THE ATTACK!!!! OOOF#MEL PLEASEEEE TALK TO CAITLYN PLEASEEEE#like of course she disappears RIGHT NOW!!!#my god... also vis drinking buddy has left too.... of course.... you're good man....#talking tag#watching arcane#watching arcane season 2
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finally did my goddamn dishes. and that wasn't all i managed to do today. fuck yeah.
had a meeting for thesis prep. bmv trip. rough plan for friday's discussion lecture. cooked dinner for the first time in like 3 weeks. read ~50 pages of academic text for 2 classes and a paper revision.
feels like i didn't do enough but. considering that yesterday i managed... going to classes and nothing else! and monday i was only capable of doing the required meetings i had, this is a pretty good day!
#it's been. a tough few weeks. i couldn't focus at all last week. only got work done on the weekend. yesterday was........ tough.#monday wasn't as rough but was equally exhausting#so! proud of myself that i got. stuff done. big stuff even!#started keeping a task/reward journal to help out too :)#so every night i'll write out some tasks that need to get done the next day#and as i finish them i check them off and give myself silly little stickers to track what i managed!#so i get like. 1 sticker per 10 pages read (bc i usually need a break every 10 or so pages rn) 1 sticker in a diff color for chores.#1 for teaching stuff (laying out a lecture plan/finishing the lecture/doing a dry run/doing the lecture) 1 for meetings etc etc#it's helping bc i have a dumbass brain that doesn't give me dopamine for completing tasks anymore#it all gets lumped into 'yeah i did the bare minimum bc that's what i need to do. that's not special-#-no reward for you! you didn't really *do* anything. just scraped bare minimum!'#turns out that's bad for you lmao to get No Rewards#so i have a journal now! so i have hard proof that shows that i've Done Shit.#and i think the last two weeks i've been 1. underfed 2. overtired and 3. on the verge of burnout#so i haven't been able to do much. but a major stressor is gone now! (the bmv trip...)#and it like. immediately lifted a veil from my brain. 0-60 in like 40 minutes flat.#i hadn't realized how stressed about that i'd even been. it was taking up so much of my brain's metaphorical CPU.#so i'm hoping tomorrow i'll be able to do what i was doing two weeks ago. just plugging along at my usual pace#instead of just barely dragging my carcass forward#so! anyway. update that was unasked for but you sure are getting#i fuckin did stuff today! fuck yeah!#it is now an hour past my bedtime i'm gonna crash tf out. bedtime. sleepytime. good night
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Okay small rant time !!!!
#im literally losing my god damn mind#i went to get gas#and im pretty sure they have a card skimmer#it asked me for me pin twice and looked weird and inwas like huh#thats really weird#but was like eh whatever and then like 10 minutes later#i start getting attempted charges to my card for 175 dollars from the gas station#this is a gas station ive been using for a very long time and they never have beenna gas station to do holds on your card before#and also my actual gas purchase went through normally !#anyway i was already gone from the gas station at this point (and the inside would have been closed before i could get back anyway)#so i was like okay first im going to post to the group to warn people not to go there rn#then contact the appropriate people#so anyway i posted to the facebook group and it somehow seems like ive done something wrong !!#everyone is so angry!!#literally being like well did you try to fucking remove the device#and why arent you on the phone with the police RIGHT NOW#telling me that its probably juat a hold#and telling me not to say bad things about a business#when literally all i said was you might want to avoid going to this gas station right now because i think they have a skimmer#and stated exactly what happened to me to make me feel that way#anyway ive literally had to edit my post 5 times because people keep getting mad about different things#im so done !!!#never again !!!
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#been fighting for my fucking LIFE against a 24hr migraine#after gettin home from work yesterday i tried Everything.#sleeping+water+food+meds+staggering MORE meds+showering w/the lights off+massaging to release my clenched jaw+tea+sunglasses inside+etc#gave up on getting rid of it a WHILE ago & have just been riding the waves#so tell me why. just now. after eating thee Worst microwave burrito of my entire life. its FINALLY RECEEDED. to be just my normal headache.#im not joking.#the last 24hrs ive been making SURE to have Real Nutrients in my body bc ik thats like. step 1 to ''make the Pain Brain bearable''#and yet nothing. NOTHING has put a dent in it. save for the worlds soggiest shittiest frozen burrito#im like. legit kinda mad abt this lmfao#i microwaved that fucker and horked it down even tho what ive been craving all day is mediterranean food bc we dont HAVE any close enough#but what we do have. is frozen shitty burritos. and granted ! my headache is not Gone. but my headache is NEVER Gone#ive had the same headache since i was 12#but legitimately 2 minutes after that stupid burrito. we went from a 7/10 on the headache scale to a FOUR#infuriating. i deserve gyro after all that. or maybe shawarma...#neither of which we have in the house. terrible#anyway. complaint session over lmao#if u read this ily. mwah.<3 kthanxbye#bee speaks
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Ugh man I am so not looking forward to work tomorrow
#My coworker didnât show up today#and I know itâs bc sheâs pissed#and Iâm p sure itâs at me#and I know I havenât been pulling my weight properly but also weâve been like.. steady#not insanely busy#so she doesnât need to go as hard as she does. I do whatâs required of me#and on Wednesday she froze me out bc I didnât immediately hop up to print versa and I made her do it#but it wasnât fucking unreasonable of me to do that bc I only had /6/ to print#which probably took her like a total of 10 extra minutes#whereas she had So So Many#and idk how it worked out like that bc last week /I/ did it bc I had an INSANE amount of them to print#and it took me MORE THAN SIX FUCKING HOURS#she was gone for Three MAX and she was so pissed off at me#like??? Idek what to say??? Iâm sorry???? I didnât pass those orders by Adrianne /YOU/ just happened to take them#just like last week I happened to get orders for HUNDREDS of versa#Iâm OBVIOUSLY not just passing by the versa orders#IT WAS LUCK#and guess what I got like 4 approved today#IT WAS GODDAMN LUCK#Anyways I did most of her approvals today and we are still caught up so I hope she doesnât bitch at me tomorrow#I KNOW sheâs just stressed but Iâm gonna be real I was already barely holding it together at work on Wednesday#bc I got the news that my dog was dying the day before#like I /did/ cry on my lunch. I didnât even make it the whole day#and I didnât tell her bc I donât want her pity but UGHHHH#even if I WASNT barely holding it together#it would not have been an unreasonable ask that she print the versa#after I did it last week#AND SPENT MORE THAN SIX HOURS DOING IT#lea speaks#vent
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OUGH I could have exactly gotten my fucking bus but I thought the next one left in 30mins so I took up my brother on his offer to come get me so I didn't go to the bus stop but to where he can pick me up so I didn't see the fucking bus đ
#I could have gotten home earlier!!! FUCKKKK#I wouldn't have gotten this bus if I'd taken the bus at work to the city I only made it bc 2 guys from work took me with them#(which is very cool and nice of them btw)#but I only looked up what busses I have to take to get home from the work bus stop#and I wouldn't have gotten that bus from there so it didn't show it to meeeeeeee#AUGH#fucked up#if I'd gone like 10 steps further I would have seen it at the bus stop...#or if my brother had taken 1 min more to answer...#or if I'd taken one more minute to call him back...#FUCKED up#doddie redet#WHATEVER IT'S LITERALLY NOT THAT BAD I'M FINE IT'S FINE
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okay so apparently the part of âi donât work full closing shifts, i just work 2-10â that my new boss doesnât understand is all of it
#i was supposed to be gone at 10:30. already after i said the strict 2-10. i fully closed and left at 10:45.#ainât no way iâm going eleven more weeks like this what the fuck#okay i realize without any other context that sounds really whiny#and it probably is iâm just tired & frustrated#i worked the same position for five out of the eight hours i worked today#and for the last three of them i was working two positions at once#so iâm already running back and forth and someone orders three large sweet teas and a gallon of it#while iâm already scraping by on my last batch of the night with like half an hour to go#and then someone else comes in less than twenty minutes to close and drops five milkshakes. while front counter also has five milkshakes.#so weâre all fucking dancing just trying to get shit done#and never in the last year iâve worked there have we made eight batches of lemonade after closing#which might also be part of the idea that i DONT WORK AFTER CLOSE!!!#and then to have the audacity to sit and tell the four of us to hurry up because youâre waiting on us to clock out???#bitch i shouldâve been gone twenty minutes ago be so fr#i also got lemonade in my eye which might be my thirteenth thirteenth reason tonight i mean it#anyway hereâs a funky little caterpillar for making it through my tag rants ur a real one đŤ´đ#grace being stupid#text post#personal
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The kind of dark thoughts I have in an evening are shit like how can I fuck up an entire townâs tourism industry for the sole purpose of making grocery shopping less of a sensory overload for me specifically
#god itâs only april and iâm already so sick of the tourists man#they just do stuff. they seem to think road markings are just there for decoration#my mum nearly got taken the fuck out of the equation yesterday by a 4x4 driver who didnât know who has right of way at the roundabout#he and the car behind him just came at her and then he had the nerve to honk his horn#like whyyyy#you go in tesco it looks and feels like the zombie apocalypse#all perishable food is gone and the masses are walking into you like fucking zombies#iâm not sure what gets me more. the people stood around with their trolleys at a diagonal; chatting#or the people who have no visible items but are just standing in like aisle 9 staring into space for seemingly many minutes at a time#are you good?!#when i tell you this town is lousy with coffee shops and parks#if you want to have a meeting or a breakdown in a public place you donât need to go to tesco to do it#they bring in the entire family of 6. matthew mark luke and john are in there sans ipad and are running at people#dadâs on his phone mumâs telling a story mostly consisting of profanity about how she got drunk at the weekend and threw up#people are dressed for weather that literally isnât happening#itâs 10 celsius my love. you look fantastic but youâre going to die in that bikini top and shorts#so how would i go about it. i mean. i donât even think the town has that much going for it but we get bombarded year on year anyway#if i could pray to a rain god. but nah. theyâd still show up#theyâd just be more bad tempered because they wouldnât be able to go on the beach#personal
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Iâm like actually 2 seconds from quitting my job/ pulling some shit to get fired. Itâs so fucking stupid though because itâs not a super stressful job, it SHOULD be easy, but with everything going on in my life right now just the fact that I have to come in is enough to make me feel like Iâm about to have a panic attack. Iâm just, Iâm fucking tired of this. Iâm really fucking tired and the job is the only thing I can drop, but I know Iâll feel insanely guilty because of how much they rely on me.
I fucking hate it here.
#crow rambles#Iâm just so goddamn tired of it#we JUST got acquired by a new owner and heâs making a bunch of changes#this is right at the tail end of my âI give you a month to figure shit out and then Iâm goneâ thing#but itâs actually out of their control so I feel bad#but Iâm also literally about o fucking dissociate driving to work#and Iâm just#Iâm so fucking tired#I literally just found out last night theyâre taking my brother off the ventilator#theyâre doing it tomorrow#heâs going to die and Iâll have to be at this stupid fucking job I hate#we keep on getting last minute catering orders and Iâm the ONLY fucking driver so theyâre like yeah crow can do it!!#NO#no i can fucking not#Iâm barely a person right now I should not be driving more than I have to#I just want to turn around and go home#like Iâm sitting in the parking lot and my shift was supposed to start 10 minutes ago#but il just so fucking done with this#I donât want to be here and I donât want to have to deal with these stupid fucking entitled people#who think their smoothie is the most important thing in the fucking world#Iâm so tired of this shit#I wanna go home and crawl into bed and never leave#but instead I have to be at this stupid fucking dead-end job surrounded by people I donât like who donât know what theyâre doing
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ok Heres some thoughts now that im not stupidly sleepy anymore. i like thinking about dreamys first encounter with miles after entering his universe, freshly mutated and not having any real idea of whats going on, confused as fuck. so they see spiderman on the news and go âshit, thats the guy i gotta talk to, how the FUCK do i get in contact with himâ and then IM THINKING they do something very silly and dramatic which is to stage a crime like an armed robbery or something so hell show up, then as soon as hes there they drop the weapon or whatever and go âoh good it worked. sorry about scaring everyone i just needed to talk to spiderman for a second ill find some way to pay for therapy if anyone needs it after thisâ and then telling him about their own powers so he can help
#skrambles#dreamy đ#ahhh wait fuck. just realized i should change that tag fo have an emoji in case anyone follows the dreamy tag#augh. hold on. brb#dont read this post yet its not finished. ill come back and say more stuff in the tags in like 10 minutes or smth#OK BACK!!!!! i have more shit on dreamy now that idk if ive said before#their relationship with liv in their original dimension has over time morphed into the WORST fwb deal in the whole world#liv has become so incredibly manipulative and actually downright obsessed w them. idk how that happened#she tries to prevent them from talking to anyone shes jealous she has tantrums shes admitted the true nature of the collider project and its#ties to kingpin etc etc#shes absolutely crazy over there. and i LOVE it#she thinks she can manipulate dreamy They manipulate her right back. theyre sooooo fucked up <3#and they came to milesâ dimension not by choice but as a result of the accident. spider society hates them because theyre anomalous#and also Erm a shit hero. by spider society standards#they have nothing more than just a vague feeling and fleeting memories and strange dreams from their original dimension#theyve tried looking themself up in alchemax personnel files but finding nothingâ because in 1610 they never worked there#so their memories dont add up with the reality around them which is obviously. SOO fucking frustrating#also. news on powers. their extra eyes have nightvision and their fangs have a temporarily paralyzing venom đ#they dont know that for sure though. they havent run any tests because they would need a living subject for that and the way they found out#in the first place was accidentally biting their tongue. so they dont know for sure how the venom works#but i know. and its paralyzing The effect is less for them since its their venom but still potent enough to cause irritation#like. when they bit their tongue it stiffened and tensed up for awhile but no numbing#if it bit someone else it would have a marginally stronger effect#and ummâŚâŚ. umm. well actually maybe thats all#after their vanishing in their home dimension shit fell apart over there#both liv and ohnn were distraught and tried looking for them but eventually gave up#theyre gone for years before they manage to find home after allâŚâŚ.. they just assume theyd been offed or something#so umm. i think thats it đ i love dreamy i think theyr great#still not sure what their home dimension is called though. i like 8084 but im not sure#so yay My spidey baby Teehee ^__^ i like thinking about their lore a lot ithink its fun
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The Honda Odyssey
Logan Howlett x Reader | smut | 6k words Summary: The car fight reimagined and it only needed to be like 10% more erotic than the original.
I got carried away. I just love Wolvie so much. I'm so happy Logan is getting the adoration he deserves. Long live the Wolverine renaissance.
Warning: smut, p in v, ass play, foul language.
If you had to pinpoint a moment when your life became the shit show it had steadily developed into, youâd say it was the moment you auditioned for X-Force.
In your tenure as besties with Wade Wilson, it's fair to say things hadnât gone smoothly. The man was a conduit to all things fucked up, but you adored his loose morals and quick mouth. The idiot in red had weaselled his way into your heart and became something of a brother to you and more recently a roommate.
Now, if youâd have told your younger self youâd be in your late twentyâs sharing an apartment with a burn victim who regularly staples a toupee to his fucking head and a coke-head, blind, old African American woman, youâd have laughed in their fucking face.
So, youâd like to think that as these things go you are pretty damn well adjusted but traversing the multiverse was a bit of a stretch, even for you.
One moment youâre at Wadeâs surprise party, the next your ass has been zapped to the TVA and youâve been given a sacred mission; to accompany Marvel Jesus (Wade) and protect the sacred timeline.
Naturally youâre fucking mind blown, youâre a low-level mutant, fuck, you couldnât even join the X-Men. Â Your particular set of skills were a dime a dozen and your flagrant disregard of rules had made you a âpoor candidateâ.
No, the mutant powers you had been graced with werenât extraordinary by any means. You were basically an off-brand Captain America, just without the gorgeous cheekbones, patriotism and righteous need to do good.
In layman terms, you are strong as shit and have an accelerated healing factor. Not quite the same level as Wadeâs mind you. You have, give or take, an inconvenient five-minute turnaround on the more fatally debilitating wounds.
To say you were unqualified was an understatement and to say you were reluctant was a simple fact. A fact you repeated, loudly to anyone that would listen as you were bathed in rich black leather.
âI think maybe you meant to grab negasonic teenage whatchacallit⌠sheâs great, super powerful!â You continue. âDid you mean to get Domino or Colossus or maybe one of the X-Men? â
âNo Miss Y/L/N. We have not got the wrong person for the job.â The man you later find out is called Paradox, calls out as you re-enter the operation headquarters. âMr Wilson requested your presence; he wanted your assistance on his mission.â
âY/N/N⌠ten out of ten, baby girl, I one hundred percent would bang. Iâm talking raw dog, Barry White on a rug, letâs go all fuckinâ night.â  Wade hollers in his own brand-new suit and even you must admit, you look fucking amazing. âSweet angel, weâve just gottaâ come up with a superhero name for you!â
You are enrobed in rich thick black and teal leather, your first ever hero suit and itâs a fucking good one. It doesnât cling, but instead pulls you in securing your flesh and extenuating curves, ones you hadnât entirely realised you had. The bottom half your face is concealed with a mask, carefully crafted to follow the contours of your nose and cheekbones.
Youâd barely recognised the mysterious figure in the mirror.
âRight?! Tailor was pretty handsy though!â
âOh yeah, ha! - that man is indeed a predator.â Wade says with a chuckle and a fond sigh.
It shames to you to say but thatâs when you stopped fighting this whole thing. You looked the part of a hero; you thought that maybe the TVA knew what they were doing. That they had seen something in you and knew that you had a good heart under all the darkness that lingered on the surface.
Wrong.
You were just a demand Wade had made. He wanted his number one disciple at his side whilst he carried out his sacred mission. You were part of an attempt at appeasing him whilst they destroyed your timeline.
Little more than a pawn to be used whilst they manipulated him into a false sense of security.
Thus, you were thrown into a series of events far beyond your control when Wade being Wade decided you were hunting down a Wolverine to stabilise the timeline, only to be once again fucking zapped into some place they called the void by that little English shitbird named Paradox. Itâs entirely accurate to say that you were a little less sturdy than your compadres.
Unfortunately for you, the fall from such a height into the void was fatal. When you finally awake in the desolate wasteland to the sounds of blades clashing it is disorientating to say the least.
Forcing yourself to your feet you lower your mask and gasp in the sweet strangely stale oxygen as you stretch out your newly healed spine with a groan. It was impossible to tell how long you were out as you take in the scene before you; Wade and the Wolverine are engaged in a heated battle. From the looks of it, Logan is winning this fight despite being the human equivalent of a knife block with Wadeâs katanas protruding from his chest.
For a moment you pause, perhaps its head trauma that hasnât healed (Heâs fucking Deadpool, he can look after himself for two minutes) and appreciate his form, the Wolverine the two of you had kidnapped was gorgeous. Tch, as if there was any other kind.
Sure, you were biased youâd always been somewhat of a fangirl, but the Wolverine was objectively breath-taking.
Youâd indulged in comics whilst growing up but when you found out he was real and looked the way he did, hell, Wolverine was your sexual awakening. He was the first man to make you feel that tingle in your lower stomach. Yes, you may have been thirteen years old, a ball of puppy fat and social anxiety but youâd been waiting for him ever since.Â
Youâre snapped out of your reverie when Wade loses baby knife in Loganâs shoulder blade, finally you spring into action. In good time as well as youâre not sure if even Deadpool can survive decapitation.
In the singularly most stupid act of your life you throw yourself in front of your friendâs body. âWait, Wait! Please!â Â
Wade has paused behind you, you can feel him weighing up the situation, pausing for a moment to see what youâre going to pull out of the bag.
âThe TVA they can fix it, whatever you did, whatever made you the worst Logan, they can fix it! â They have the power to end universes, but they also have the power to fix yours! Help us get back there and we can fix both of our worlds! I promise, they can fix it.â You plead, itâs not quite a lie exactly, more of an Educated Wish than anything.
Okay it is a lie, but youâre sure that the TVA can most likely, probably, maybe fix his world.
Loganâs eyes lock with yours in that moment you can see that he wants to kill you both and be done with it, but that hope wonât let him. You feel a smidgen of guilt for the deceit, but frankly youâve done worse for less. Your world was on the line it wasnât the time to pull your punches.
Fast forward four exhausting hours, two periods of unconsciousness and one flaying to find yourself sat opposite Wade gagging down cold spoonfulâs of Spam in some dusty ass diner.
You were no better than a man as you watched the Wolverine.
Those arms, those thighs, the way he had beheaded Sabretooth without even breaking a fucking sweat. You wanted him to wrap those instruments of death he called hands around your throat and fuck you dirty until the sun came up.
It had been a long exhausting day and you had been soaking wet for most of it.
Shit, could he smell that? Does that count as sexual harassment? Youâd have to ask Wade.
Logan, however, was utterly dismissive of your advances in the face of what was undoubtedly utterly horrific past trauma. Something you were trying to be understanding about, but self-pity in a man, it just turned you on. I said you had some surface layers of darkness.
Unable to help yourself you gaze at him as he opens a bottle of rubbing alcohol. You are utterly entranced, watching the thick chords in his throat bob as he takes a swig.
That tanned skin where his jaw ends and neck begins, slick with sweat and dirt. Youâd love to sink your canines into the strip below his ear. He must feel your stare on him as he looks up and catches your eyes dark with lust already surveying his person.
It should embarrass you, that every time he peers your way, he catches you gaping at him like a lovesick puppy, but thereâs something about Logan you canât quite put your finger on. The man heats your blood like nothing youâve ever experienced before, maybe itâs that torch youâve carried for him since girlhood, maybe itâs the thick thighs youâd kill to ride â who can say for sure?
In what you assume is against his better judgement, he comes to perch on the booth beside you. His broad shoulders cast an imposing figure as he gets close enough that if you were to move your hand a couple of inches to the right, youâd finally be able to touch that yellow fabric that plagued your tween dreams.
Youâre burning up at the thought of him, unable to stop yourself you part your legs slightly to ease some of the pressure. Logans nose twitches, his head swivels your way and his eyes catch your own. Â
Welp - at least you have your answer about him smelling your arousal.
Deciding that you were most likely verging on sexual harassment charges you decided to focus back in on the task at hand, gagging once again at another spoonful of spam.
âBe a good girl and swallow, Y/N/N, you know the rules!â Wade jokes, your chortle was your only response. What could you say? He always hit your funny bone despite the ocean that was raging in your panties.
Logan stares at Wade for a long moment before turning to your way and addressing you for maybe only the fourth time today?
âWhat are you doing with this fucking clown? You his sidekick? Following him round to laugh at his stupid fucking jokes whilst he gets kids killed?â
âWhy I have never.â Wade is faux outraged at his words, clutching his imaginary pearls as the Wolverine throws around accusations that arenât entirely untrue.
The Wolverineâs expression remains stern as his eyes track your face. They seem to be evaluating your character and from the flare in his nose and crease in his brow you can guess he finds you lacking. Youâre embarrassed to admit how much that deflates you, so you do what you do best; you deflect.
 âI could follow you around and laugh at your jokes instead, if you like?â When you speak your voice has a sultry edge to it and thereâs no mistaking your intentions.
Logan seems to think on your proposition for a second or two, before he huffs grabs his rubbing alcohol and unopened can of Spam and heads over to sit at the bar.
âHoly hot ham and cheese on rye, Y/N, you fucking slut.â Wade berates you though his voice is as light as itâs always been as he boots your shin under the table. âTrying to your holes filled by Wolvie during a world saving mission, Marvel H Christ, stay on fucking task!â
You swear you hear Logan mutter a Jesus Christ from the bar.
Though as Wade continues irritating the hero hunched against bar, you canât help the realisation that he didnât say no.
âYouâre uh⌠well regarded in our world.â Wade complements, being real doesnât come easy to him. You appreciate the effort.
âWell, Iâm not shit in mine.â
âI tried to join the X-Men because of you.â You speak up finally joining their conversation. Wolverineâs back goes rigid, but he doesnât respond. Youâre not sure if heâs waiting for you to continue or hoping youâll stop. âYou made a difference to this world, made me think I could do the same. I just never quite make the cut.â
Logan doesnât seem to have a response.
It seems your words have an effect as you catch him watching you more often. When Wade makes his jokes, he looks to you for validation of his withering looks.
Youâre probably more distracted by this revelation than you should be when the three of you come across a real nasty variant of Colossus seeking out Wade for⌠you want to say⌠revenge?
The not-so-gentle-anymore-giant flips the Honda and tosses both Wade and Logan through the treeline as they advance on him as if they were little more than toys his mother had asked him to pick up.
One by one your bullets ricochet from his metal skin as he comes towards you. You arenât built for this fight; you are completely and utterly outmatched.
All youâre doing at this point is buying yourself some time for your backup to pull themselves from the rubble, however during a particularly spirited cartwheel the metal oaf finally gets his hands on you. Colossusâ metal palm is cold on your throat, and you could swear you hear your neck snapping before you feel it. Â
With a gasp you return to life to find a slightly dishevelled Logan standing above you. By the grace of god, his sleeves have been worn away in the fight, his arms, oh sweet lord, his arms are on full display.
âThought you were a goner.â He offers you a hand when you simply stare mutely his way. Locking your fingers around his wrist he pulls you to your feet. You donât release your hold on him and neither does he.
âDonât throw the party just yet, eh?â You joke weakly, for a second you could swear thereâs a slight raise of the corner of his mouth, imperceptible, if you didnât know what you were looking for. In the past few hours you had become an expert on Wolverineâs face. Â
Your mouth is dry as you take in his thick sweat laden biceps.
âWhereâs Wade?â You query whilst rolling your aching neck as you havenât heard his voice in a record thirty seconds, Logan suddenly remembers himself and drops your hand.
ââfraid Metal man took your clown, was pissed with him and canât say I blame the guy.â
âShit.â You sigh rubbing your temples as you kneel to pick up the dismembered arm of your best friend. âWell â fuck. Thatâll take him a few hours at least to grow back â Heâll be so sad about his suit.â
You peel the fabric from the limb and tuck it under the breast plate of your own suit. Wade will want his glove back when it grows back.
âHe say where he was taking him?â
âOh yeah, that along with his plan for world domination...â Logan huffs as if your mere presence annoys him.
âThought you didnât like sarcasm.â
âI like sarcasm just fine, Bub. Itâs you I donât like.â You canât help but smile his way at the comment made at your expense, his brows crease. âYouâre a strange one.â
âCan you do your sniffy thing?â Its impressive, you thought heâd reached the limit with his scathing looks towards Wade, yet he somehow manages to pull a deeper frown out the vault especially for you.
âSniffy thing?â His words are spoken with such derision, it turns you on a little. You realise that perhaps you are in fact a deeply troubled individual.
âOh, sorry.â You pretend to clear a frog in your throat. âPlease, oh, please, beautiful, handsome Wolverine, please can you locate my bestest pal with your heightened sense of smell?â His face doesnât break despite your hands clasped in front of your chin.
âYouâre just as fucking annoying as that moron.â He huffs âGet in the fucking car, weâll follow his trail.â
âYou can smell him from the car?â
âThe blood, Jesus Fucking Christ, thereâs a trail of blood.â
âAh.â Is all you reply as you find your seat in the passenger side and start your own one on one team up with Wolverine. Its not exactly the way you imagined it, but beggars certainly canât be choosers.
After a few moments of sullen silence, you decide that thereâs no time like the present to form a long-lasting bond.
âWhatâs your world like?â
âNone of your fucking business.â
âOkay... Whatâs the first thing youâre gonnaâ do if they can save your world? I bet its something boring as fuck, like team-â
âWhat did you just say?â
âI bet youâre gonna do something boring like-â
âNo before that.â
âWhatâs the first thing youâre gonnaâ do if they save your world?â You question, his sudden interest in your words takes you by surprise as he has been vacant from your conversation.
The breaks suddenly shriek as the car comes to a stop.
âWhat do you mean if?â
âIâŚâ
âYou said they could fix my world. Undo it all, is what you fucking said.â
âI mean I think they can!â
âYou fucking liar.â The edge to The Wolverineâs voice is terrifying. The realisation trickles down your spine, Logan has been nice to you all this time, youâre finally meeting The Wolverine.
âI didnât lie!â For some reason youâre ashamed of your deceit, youâve murdered countless people and still, youâve felt less remorse. Loganâs eyes pin you in your seat as disgust clouds his face. It hurts more than you can fathom. âNot exactly, I think they can fix your world! â I needed your help and if you killed Wade there was no hope for my universe!â
âI donât give a flying fuck about your universe!â He spits your way; his hands are gripping the wheel in what seems like an effort to keep his cool.
âI know, but I do!â You cry back at him. âYou know how to save the world, youâre the fucking Wolverine! I know how to kill people, but this hero shit, this isnât me!â
âHa! No shit.â There is pure hate in the manâs eyes as he stares back at you.
âPlease, youâre Logan. Whether youâre the worst one or not - Youâre still better than me.â
âGet out of the fucking car.â The words come from between clenched teeth and are filled with warning.
âNo â fuck you.â Your rage breaks the banks to meet Loganâs. Perhaps itâs the guilt, maybe itâs the fear for Wade but something within you snaps at his constant bad temper. âIt was an educated guess and a fucking reasonable one at that, get the fuck over yourself you big bird wannabe geriatric fucker! â
He slams his palms on the steering wheel, his nose flares and his teeth clamp together. Â âFuck me? Fuck you â you sad pathetic excuse for a side-kick. No wonder the X-Men wouldnât take you, and theyâll take fuckinâ anyone. You are a ridiculous, immature, moron who spends her days following around a fucking clown to avoid facing the reality that you are no one. I have never met a sadder, more attention starved asshole in my entire life. You were right about one thing, youâre no fucking hero.â
Its shameful the way your stomach drops, and your eyes involuntarily begin to tear. To hear your hero say the words youâve thought about yourself whilst laying awake at night. Itâs a knife to the gut.
âNothing to fucking say, huh, Angel?â The use of Wadeâs nickname for you is like sandpaper on your skin, it rubs you the wrong fucking way.
âI am going to hurt you now.â Your voice is barely a broken whisper.
âYouâre going to hurt â âHis faux chortle is cut short by a swift punch to his face. Youâre worried you may have been overzealous with your swing when his nose begins bleeding. The Wolverine is stunned for only a moment before he grabs the back of your neck and proceeds with smashing your face into the dashboard and those concerns are quickly put to bed.
The old fucker is strong, but you donât think heâll kill you, yet another educated wish.
âNot so tough nowâŚâ He shouts as the radio channels change with your skull. Pulling a knife from your leg strap you embed it in his thigh and pull the lever to recline your seat whilst heâs distracted, luckily, youâre not there when he swings for retribution.
Though one of his fucking steak knives catches your upper arm slicing through the leather. Warm blood trickles down your arm, staining the beige interior of the poor Honda.Â
Your legs are your strongest asset, so when he attempts to restrain you with the seatbelt, you are presented with your window of opportunity. You wrap them around his neck as you pivot your hips slamming the Wolverine headfirst into the metal of the door. Once, twice, three times - on the fourth he lands a fist to your gut, luckily, he has retracted his claws.
If he was willing to kill you, you wouldnât stand a chance.
Youâre winded struggling to catch your breath from the gut punch, but you manage pull the knife from his thigh that is nestled between your legs and thrust it into his neck, you aim for the spot youâd fantasied about kissing before heâd torn your character apart piece by piece, now you just want to bathe in his fucking blood.
It was the pain that instantaneously made his claws extend. Heâs quick to move them, though he slices through the sides of your suit as he buries them in the chair behind you. Your ribs are a bloodied mess though you donât care, in a few hours theyâll be good as new.
Logan has seized the opportunity and has your arms pinned to your sides, his blood has cooled a little more than yours, he doesnât seem to want to murder you over an argument.
Perhaps heâs more well-adjusted than yourself, that thought alone should concern you, except it just enrages you further.
âYou stupid fuckin-âThe Wolverine starts admonishing you, before you swing your head forward and headbutt him.
Yes.
You really do that.
You headbutt the man with the adamantium fucking skeletonâ at full strength. Its sheer dumb luck you donât crack your own skull in the processâ maybe Logan was right, you are fucking dumb.
âFucking fuck!â You cry grabbing your forehead and writhing. Noone wins with a headbutt, except Logan apparently.
âFucking stop that.â Your writhing has pushed your core against his crotch, and he is already packing quite the heat at what feels like half-mast. He grabs your hips to stop your movement, but it only seems to push you closer. âStop fucking moving.â
The constant arousal youâve felt since meeting him returns in double time, Loganâs nostrils flare and his eyes darken. Itâs debased and youâre ashamed that you want him, you havenât stopped wanting him, despite the awful fucking words that left his mouth minutes ago.
âLike ⌠a little pain Wolvie?â
Its relief you feel, you think, when instead of answering or punching you in the face, he closes the gap.
The Wolverineâs claws retract, and he grabs at your chin. Loganâs mouth utterly devours your own, your front tooth clashes with his own as you push yourself upwards, you pull your knife out of his neck, catching his grunt of pain on your tongue as you begin licking your way down his thick throat.
The vein youâd spotted hours ago is throbbing freshly healed, you sink your canines into the flesh and its as good as youâd fucking imagine. His groan is utterly beast-like as he wraps his arms around you, pulling you flush against him.
The Wolverineâs throat tastes like salt and iron. Thick, tangy and warm on your tongue as you soothe the bite. It drives Logan wild, thrusting his hardened member against your warmth. One of his gloved hands rises to lock on the back of your neck to pull you into yet another earth-shattering kiss. Â His sharp hot tongue slides against your own, exploring the expanses of your mouth like its his to claim.
You bite at him again then, your teeth catching his bottom lip sharply. Logan groans into your mouth before you use every ounce of your enhanced strength to throw him backwards against the dashboard.
He is taken utterly by surprise as his head slams into the windscreen cracking the glass with a grunt. When he looks your way Loganâs eyes are blackened with desire, he is utterly wild.
Slowly as if afraid to make any sudden moves, you unzip your combat boots, your eyes never leaving his. One boot and then the next.
You thank the TVAâs tailor for making your suit a two piece as you shuffle backwards into the backseat, pushing the thick leather down your legs all whilst maintaining eye contact with the beast leaning against the dashboard.
âYou sure you want this Darlinâ?â
âDarlinâ?â You question mockingly, your voice lowering to imitate his own, as you wantonly spread your legs, your bare leg resting next to the headrest. Only a pair of black cotton panties separate him from your most intimate parts and his eyes are locked on your clothed core. âa second ago it was âPathetic Moronâ to you.â
Your head tilts in question as his eyes lock back on your own, you think perhaps for a moment something akin to regret passes over his face, but youâve never been entirely comfortable with feelings, so you drop your hand into the waistband of your panties, youâve barely circled your opening with your pointer finger before heâs on you.
âThatâs my job, you fucking Moron.â He plunges two bare thick fingers into your heat. Gasping you throw your head back against the headrest, itâs a tight fit and its been a while but the slight burn eases some of the aching in your core. âYouâre fuckinâ soaking wet, you like it huh, bub? Making me bleed?â
Your grab his jaw, your nails digging into his flesh. âIâd like to bathe in-â He scissors his fingers finding that spot inside you and you let out an embarrassing noise, somewhere between a gasp and a moan. â-Your fucking blood⌠you mean motherfucker.â
Youâre an absolute goner when he starts rubbing your clit, after a day of foreplay your body seizes, and you grab at the nape of his neck trying to find something to anchor you down. But as fast as the build was you come tumbling down just as quickly, when he cruelly withdraws his hands.
âNo! - Wha- what the fuck?!â Youâre almost crying as your torn from the precipice.
Logan flips you over onto your stomach before you can complain any further, your face down on the filthy upholstery as he pulls your panties from your hips. You canât see him from this angle, though you can feel his warm hands tracing the globes of your ass.
You force your knees further apart, pushing your bare soaking pussy against the tight bulge of his yellow suit. If you had enough of your facilities about you, youâd be embarrassed that youâre currently rubbing your cunt against The Wolverine like a bitch in heat after heâd chewed you out only minutes ago.
Loganâs hand dip between your thighs, his fingers swirl along your hole, dragging your wetness along to your aching clit.
âYou think Iâd make it that easy?â He asks as he continues the journey back and forth. On the second pass he dips his finger inside of you for a fraction of a second before resuming its path. âWhat do you want, darlinâ?â
You werenât going to beg, in fact you bit your tongue to stop the traitorous words from forming, this man had already made you abandon most of your self-respect, he wasnât having this.
âLoganâŚâ At your breathy words the man leans forward, pressing his fabric covered cock into your ass as he folds his body over yours. One hand comes down next to your shoulder, the other explore your tits as he rocks himself into your throbbing core. Itâs the perfect storm as he nuzzles into your exposed throat but somehow you manage your words. âFuck me or donât, Iâm not begging, bub.â
He exhales through his nose in what you guess is equal parts amusement and annoyance, but youâre far beyond caring. He places a bite on the spot where your throat meets your shoulder as his body pulls back. Momentarily his hands leave your hips to deal with his own pants. You hear the clank of his belt hitting the car floor moments before you feel the head of his cock, running along your folds.
The head of his cock is thick, and it feels hot to the touch as he runs it along your slick. All of a sudden Logan pushes forward and sheathes himself inside of you with a single thrust.
You try your best to hold in your incoherent moans but to little avail as he pulls back before slamming full force back into you. If you were a human woman, your pelvis wouldâve shattered from the force of his hips against your ass, instead you gather your strength and push back, allowing him deeper. The both of you moan in unison at the depth he reaches.
You grab onto the foam of the seat, ripping through the fabric with your bare hands desperate for an anchor as Logan unforgivingly pounds into you from behind, once again he folds his body over yours, wrapping a palm around your clawed fingers.
â.â He grunts something incoherent into your ear as he picks up the pace, slamming into you repeatedly, slowly picking up his pace. Your core is positively aching as you throb around him, pulling him deeper within you. Â If you were expecting any further explanation, youâre sorely disappointed.
The wolverine pulls back, gripping at your hips keeping you still as he resumes his powerful strokes. Â Loganâs hand dips to your clit, rubbing quick circles sending you barrelling back towards your orgasm. As you begin to clench around him, he pulls your body upwards, his head brushing against the top of the car as he holds you against him his fingers never leaving your clit.
âCome on my cock, Angel.â Unable to stop yourself you clench around him, hearing him talk like that does something primal to you.
You fucking loved Loganâs mouth, you bet he ate pussy like a champion if he played the clit this fucking well.
You stopped fighting it and threw yourself from the cliff, shattering in his thick muscle veined arms as he held you up against him, his cock still viciously plundering your depths.
âYouâre so fucking tight.â He whispers against your neck whispers peppering it with bites.
Logan gives you a few moments to come down from your high before he resumes his punishing pace, you think perhaps youâve reached your limit of pleasure, that the threshold canât possibly be topped until he whispers into your ear in that gruff voice.
âWhat was it Wilson said? Filling all your holes?â The Wolverine asks, his eyes meet yours over your shoulder meaningfully, asking permission as he offers you his thumb. You merely moan your approval and wantonly draw his finger into your mouth, soaking the pad in saliva. Â
Logan yanks your head into a vicious kiss. Itâs a messy one, filled to the brim with need. The hand not currently locked on your neck holding your face to his, travels down your back, through the valley of your bodies. The pad of his pinky runs appreciatively over the globe of your ass, before his hand dips into the crease.
Loganâs thumb runs teasingly against the tight ring of muscle, itâs a foreign experience which makes you startle slightly.
âAnyone ever fucked you here?â He asks as he bites down your neck, delicately pushing you forward until your head rests on the backseat. You shake your head as your eyes close, his cock is buried balls deep within you as he plays with your asshole.
When his thumb finally breaches your tight hole just past the nail, he begins his thrusts once more. His cock fills your pussy from behind and suddenly you feel so fucking full, Its far too much for you.
âFuck⌠Logan.â You gasp almost on the verge of tears as pounds you into the back seat. It seems the ass play has gotten to him more than expected, as his pace has increases.
âWhere?â He asks breathless from the exertion as he pulls his thumbs from your ass and takes a handful of the meat on your hips.
âInsideâŚ. Please ⌠Logan.â You practically beg though youâll never admit it, his rhythm becomes stunted as his hips slam into the back of your thighs.
âGive me something tight to come in, Darlinâ.â Moaning at his words youâre eager to obey as you reach your hand between your own legs and rub mercilessly at your clit. The unforgiving pounding, the grunting and the fingers currently bruising your hips and the burning of your now vacant ass send you sailing over the edge.
You clamp down on him like a vice, groaning unable to hold back your whimpers anymore as he finally bites your neck and pumps his seed deep inside you as far as it can go. Logan grunts like a beast as he pulses deep inside of you.
Logan collapses beside you. Dents in the interior of the van you donât even remember making have appeared from where a stray elbow or knee has hit the metal in the throes of passion.
The Wolverine tucks his cock back in his suit. Ever the gentleman, he uses your black panties to wipe away the cum dripping from your thighs, you havenât got the heart to tell him that when youâre commando redressed in your suit that you can still feel him dripping from you, your pussy uncomfortably slick against the leather.
After dressing, the two of you sit in contemplative silence. Neither one of you has the emotional complexity to discuss what happened and neither one of you will accept fault for your argument that led to it, so, silence reigns.
The tension is sliced in two as Logan leans forward and pushes an errant lock of hair behind your ear in an act so goddamn endearing, you melt. You still wouldnât apologise for lying, because you didnât lie but you can meet him a quarter of the way.
âIâm sorry for calling you geriatric.â You whisper catching his eyes, a small spark of humour leaps into them, youâve seen more emotions from your hero in the past half an hour than you knew he was capable of.
âI shouldnât have-â Loganâs heartfelt apology is cut off by the lead of this goddamn story.
âWell, well, well. Would you look at this, My best friends, Ha! I get fucking kidnapped, an arm ripped off and youâre nowhere to be found? I thought donât worry Wade, they wonât leave you, Y/N/N will come around that corner any second."
Wade has appeared through the passenger side window; he looks a little worse for wear and has a childâs arm growing from his stump, its kind of gross to look at.
"What if Colossus had had his way with me? What then Y/N? I expect this from Wolvie, but not from you! No, no heroic rescue for old Deadpool. I have to save myself because you fuckers are too busy playing hide the adamantium bone! Â Thanks for nothing guys. Now the car has old man sex stank to it, as if this hunk of shit Honda could get any worse!â
#deadpool#wolverine deadpool#wolverine x reader#logan howlett#logan howlett x reader#james howlett x reader#worst logan#logan howlett x you#wolverine smut#wolverine x you#graphics by saradika
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wow if u get a presale code u need to take that shit seriously wtf i didnt know....
#lana tickets are gone in 7 minutes. more like 1 minute though cuz i fucking clicked the link at 10:01#i got distracted or it would have been 10 that's what i get for folding my laundry#ugh ok maybe in 5 years she'll be back in boston lmaoooo
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âď¸ Don't Call Me âď¸
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female Reader
Summary: After catching your boyfriend cheating, you find accidental comfort in your coworker. With your phone ringing nonstop, you're willing to do whatever it takes to start fresh.
Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI, bug mentions (cockroaches), cheating, exhibitionism, dom/sub dynamics, fingering, oral sex (f receiving), squirting, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, slight spanking, mentions of masturbation. Dom! Spencer.
A/N: Haha... hi guys... been a while đ Please enjoy the fic I dreamed up over a month ago now, and was finally able to conjure up!
Masterlist
If you were to be asked how you assumed a five-year-long relationship would end, you'd likely say something like irreparable differences. Maybe a difference in lifestyle, growing out of love, or even different plans for the future. Unfortunately, the irreparable difference your boyfriend had chosen at 10 pm on a Thursday evening was being balls deep in an irreparably different woman.Â
You supposed you should've seen the signs the relationship was drawing to a close and likely you did, but with your job itself being a life or death situation almost daily, you really didn't have much time to worry about the fact that your boyfriend was sowing his oats in other fields. Based on the look of the woman spread across your bed, the oats weren't that great for her either.Â
Your reaction had been somewhat delayed, but curiously not as much as hers. She'd been wonderfully blasĂŠ about the man writhing on top of her before you started screaming and throwing things, and even now you were armed with a vase of flowers (dead - you'd bought them yourself before the case you'd been on for the last two weeks) she still looked slightly bored. But at least her legs were together now, and not gynaecologist level apart.Â
Your boyfriend - ex-boyfriend? - managed to regain an ounce of dignity with a scrap of clothing, and did his best to shepard you out of the crime scene as you regained the ability to hold coherent thoughts that weren't about strangling him with his own tie.Â
âListen to me, please just for five minutes-âÂ
âListen? I was just listening! To you moaning into that woman's shoulders with your eyes rolled back in your head!âÂ
It was as if in the last few minutes all the love you'd had for this man, all five years of relationship and comfort, and nights spent together had melted away in an instant. The rage dissipated, and you were surprisingly calm again, though that worried you, too. Surely you should be crying, or at the very least upset. You should be feeling some kind of emotion that wasn't a vague disgust at the man in front of you in full pooh bear mode, trying to tug down the hem of his shirt to cover the crown jewels.Â
âIt didn't mean anything. She doesn't mean anything. She's just - You're gone so long on cases, and I just-âÂ
âSo you're saying it's my fault you're cheating on me?âÂ
âYes! No, wait, no, no, no, no-âÂ
âNo, heard loud and clear, I'll try not to save lives in the future, I'm sure the BAU will understand I should be on my back 24 hours a day instead, taking all four inches you have to donate to my worthy cause.âÂ
âY/N, don't be like that,â he said, exasperated. Whatever he had to be exasperated about, you had no idea. Maybe blue balls.Â
âLike what?â
âLike a bitch!âÂ
The room went still with silence as you let him sit with the words he'd just spoken, willing him to snap back quickly so you could keep even just a shred of respect for him.Â
No such apology came.Â
âI'm leaving now. I expect your things packed and out of here by 12 pm tomorrow, including your thing in the bedroom. Don't bother cleaning the sheets. Just burn them. Lock the door and post the keys through the letterbox when you're done.âÂ
âY/N, I told you it's not like that, I still love you, come on-âÂ
âWell I don't love you. And please go put some fucking pants on.âÂ
You stepped back over the threshold of your apartment - the lovely, nice apartment you'd been living in for the last eight years, your nice safe space - and you shuddered.Â
The question wasn't exactly what next, but more like where next. What next was sending a group text in your ex-boyfriends family chat telling them what you'd walked in on, and then leaving the chat before you could get any response. The where would be a harder sell.Â
From this part of the city, it'd take 2 hours to get to Penelopeâs apartment, especially at this time of night without a car. Emily's apartment was similarly far. Going through a list of your coworkers again, you mentally crossed off Tara, who'd been injured on your last case and was resting at her girlfriend's apartment, Luke, who despite the promised comfort of a cute dog, you were absolutely sure didn't have a spare bed, and all members of the team with spouses and/or children. Which left just Spencer and Rossi.Â
Needless to say, you found your way to Spencer's apartment in only 20 minutes, though you were sure you had disassociated the entire thing.Â
Knocking on the door, you felt a little bit awkward, but not awkward enough to leave and find a hotel at nearly 11 pm. Your last case hadn't been a pleasant one, hotel-wise, and you weren't exactly eager for another check-in.
Spencer opened the door quickly, his eyebrows knitted in confusion as he found you there but only for a brief flash before his face brightened up.Â
âY/N? Do we have a case again? I thought Hotch said-âÂ
âCan I stay here tonight?â you blurted, needing to get the words out as quickly as possible before you convinced yourself to walk away.Â
Spencer took a moment to take in your words, and you took the opportunity to look at him then. He was fully clothed at least, and you were glad to find that his pajamas looked comfortable and clean. A simple plaid cotton pant with a soft-looking white long sleeved shirt pushed up his arms slightly. He'd taken out his contacts and put on his glasses, and you wondered if you'd caught him mid-book.Â
âPlease?â you added in a hopeful voice as he still looked at you slightly confused.Â
âOh, of course,â he said, stepping aside and gesturing inside. âIs there something wrong with your apartment?â he asked, taking your go-bag from you without question and guiding you into the main living space of his apartment.Â
âThank you, yeah. Something like that. Shoes off or on?âÂ
âI have some slippers. You can take them off. What happened?â he said, placing the slippers in front of you and turning back to bolt the door.Â
âInvasive species?â You said, trying to sound as nonplussed as possible despite now feeling incredibly plussed.
âOh, bugs? Yeah, I've had a cockroach or two in the apartment before. Did you know that the average female cockroach can produce up to 10,000 offspring in a single year?âÂ
You sat on his couch quietly, trying not to imagine 10,000 cockroaches and failing nearly spectacularly. Unfortunately, the only image that could surpass tiny cockroach babies was of your boyfriend pounding away at another woman. Which was just a brilliant move for your psyche.Â
âSpencer, I know I've really intruded here tonight, but doâŚ. Do you wanna drink with me?â You asked, hoping to drown at least a memory or two of the last 24 hours. Hopefully, the cheating one, but you'd take cockroach extermination as well.
A slightly worried look settled on Spencer's face, but he said nothing and nodded, walking to his kitchen, grabbing two beers and meeting you back on his loveseat.Â
âOh you really have beer here!â You exclaimed, thanking him for the beverage before cracking it open and taking a sip.Â
âMorgan came over with some to celebrate 6 months out of prison. These are leftovers.âÂ
âRight⌠rightâŚâÂ
The first few sips were so painfully awkward that you thought about returning back to your apartment and just sleeping on your own couch.Â
Vaguely, you felt Spencer watching you, taking a sip of his drink for every sip you took of yours.Â
âSoâŚâ you said, and he raised an inquisitive eyebrow again, already questioning whatever was about to come out of your mouth.Â
âSo?â he asked. You weren't sure if it was the beer, the look on his face, or the crazy implosion of the last 5 years that had you giggling all of a sudden. You were just glad that when you cracked up, he cracked a smile as well, and a little bit of the tension went away.Â
âWhy are you really here, YN?âÂ
You took a deep breath and looked straight forward at the bookshelves Spencer had lovingly filled. Maybe this had taken him half a decade as well, so he'd understand how your life felt a little bit like a wobbly bookshelf at that second.Â
âThe invasive species I mentioned? It was the woman screwing my boyfriend in my bed. Ex. Ex-boyfriend.âÂ
You heard the intake of breath from Spencer before he put his can down and started thinking of something to say in reply to that.Â
âOh.âÂ
âYeah.âÂ
âOh⌠Y/N, I-âÂ
A shrill ringing cut him off, and you were almost glad to not be on the receiving end of whatever pitiful words he was about to push on you, until you checked the caller ID and saw your ex's name.Â
âDon't pick that up,â Spencer said as you hesitated towards the phone. With a hand over yours, he flipped the phone over, locking eyes with you as he let it ring out.Â
âHe's just going to try it again.â
âLet him.âÂ
You nodded, breaking eye contact and sinking back into Spencer's slightly wilted couch cushions.Â
âIn your bed? Really?â he asked, talking another sup as you took a gulp, letting the beer fizz down your throat before you could answer.
âI told him to expect me tomorrow because of how the case was looking. I guess he wasn't expecting me.âÂ
âI think that was a given. Unless he was into that. Exhibitionism is one of the most common kinks among adult males, and-âÂ
âOh he was not into exposing himself,â you laughed into your drink, propping your head up on your hand and turning to face Spencer more. He shot another questioning glance but didn't push the issue, so you silently explained as well. By pinching your fingers together to the approximate size of your ex-boyfriend's dick.Â
âOh. Well, it's not the size that counts?â He whispered almost ironically as he took another sip, now much closer than before. You'd done your best to distance yourself from your boyfriend even as he'd followed you through your apartment half naked, but you didn't seem to find Spencer's proximity threatening at all.Â
Maybe because he wasn't having sex with a random woman in your bed 5 seconds before.Â
âYou wanna know the worst part?â You said, leaning closer as if to tell him an even bigger secret. âHe didn't even know how to use it. I haven't-âÂ
Another phone call blasted through, and you grabbed your phone and put it behind you.Â
âHe's really great at interrupting conversation when itâs just getting good,â Spencer laughed, but you were slightly disappointed that he'd leaned back away now.Â
âWhat was it you were saying?â He asked, taking a swig of beer again, can nearing its close.Â
âI haven't had an orgasm in almost three years,â you said bluntly, watching the most genuine spit take youâd seen in your life. You pat Spencer's back as he coughed up inhaled beer, bringing your feet up under you into a cosier position.Â
âOkay now?â you asked as his breathing returned to normal.Â
âNo? Three years, Y/N? Really?âÂ
You shrugged and looked away almost embarrassed to be meeting his eyes now that your sexual history was the topic of the night.Â
âWe had sex. He's just⌠he's just a really lazy lover. It'd be the same stuff every time. Handjob to some clumsy fingers missing my clit, a few pumps and cum on my face. I wasn't exactly initiating seven days a week in the hopes that this time he'd be able to locate it.âÂ
Spencer was somewhere between horror and trying not to laugh, eyes wide with either alarm or the strain of having to keep it in.Â
âIt's okay, you can laugh,â you said, but he shook his head politely.
âY/N, I was in prison and still had more orgasms than you this year.âÂ
âHey, I hear prison is a great place to meet new people. Have new experiences.â
Spencer shot you a quickly horrified look as his cheeks flushed with heat. âY/N, I was not someone's bitch in prison.âÂ
âWhy not? You're pretty enough for it?âÂ
You'd meant the line to come across as teasing, just as you'd expected the finger now twisted in a lock of his hair, playing with him, to come off as teasing as well.Â
But you felt a definite throb between your legs when he looked at you again, doubly so when his eyes darted down to your lips.Â
You cleared your throat and tried for a teasing tone once again.Â
âSo you made someone else your bitch?â you smiled, trying to drag his eyes away from your lips before you did something you'd regret.Â
âNo. I⌠I spent a long time in solitary, and there's⌠there's really not that much to do.âÂ
âSo you did yourself?âÂ
The tips of his ears were scarlet when you finally decided to back off, tucking the curl of hair behind his ear and letting him cool off.Â
âWhy didn't you masturbate then?â he asked, pouting slightly still from your interrogation.Â
âExcuse me?â
âYour boyfriend couldn't make you cum, but a vibrator probably could. But you still haven't had an orgasm in three years. Why is that?âÂ
It was your turn to feel the heat, the warmth from the beer finally reaching your head.Â
âHe didn't want me to.âÂ
You didn't mean for the words to sound as sad as they did. The fact itself was just incredibly sad. Your boyfriend saw anything vaguely phallic shaped as competition and had encouraged âorganicâ coupling instead.Â
You waited for Spencer to say something else, anything else as you held his gaze, waiting for the other shoe to drop, and him to start talking down to you as if you were simply a victim of the worst sex in the world.Â
Instead, he said âso did that other woman look as miserable as you've been for the last three years?â and the spell was broken.Â
You laughed so hard, you nearly choked on the beer you'd already finished. This time, it was Spencer's turn to land a hand on your back as you winded yourself with laughter.Â
âShe looked bored! She looked genuinely bored. I almost thought it was just a lifelike doll, she was that unphased,â you kept giggling between gasps, forcing the words out as you threw your head onto Spencer's shoulder, hand landing on his thigh as you finally calmed down.Â
âI'd be horrified if anyone looked bored while in bed with me,â came Spencer's voice, and a little shiver ran down your spine as the rasp of his whisper rang in your ear.Â
You looked up from his shoulder and caught his eye immediately. If you wanted to, you could lean up by a centimetre and catch his lips with yours. And you suddenly, very much wanted to do that.Â
A final shriek of your phone behind you deterred you for a few seconds, and you were about to work yourself up to scooting a little bit away from Spencer when he leaned over you, grabbed the phone, and hung up on your boyfriend.Â
âDo you want to cum, Y/N?â he asked, as quietly as before as his hands traced over you on their return journey to him. He looked down your body, eyes greedily drinking in your breasts, hips, thighs and legs tucked into his side on his couch.Â
You didn't know what you were going to respond when your head practically nodded by itself. Enthusiastically.Â
He doesn't immediately pull you in for a kiss, and you're worried for a beat that he meant that only as a hypothetical and not an invite. A final cry from your phone has you standing in seconds, completely detached from Spencer, and the nearly embarrassing moment you pouncing him would've been.
âI should probably take it this time,â you explained, turning slightly.Â
But Spencer was faster than you, if not more prepared for what was to come. Wrapping an arm around your waist, Spencer tugged you back, pulling you onto his lap. When you were firmly situated - ass over his now evidently firm cock - he grabbed the phone out of your other hand, hung up and put it in his pocket.Â
âSpencer, I-I don't think that's a good idea,â you gasped as his hands slowly progressed up to your chest, and his lips dropped to your neck, biting and sucking along whatever flesh was easy for him to access.Â
âYou need to cum. You deserve to cum, Y/N. I'm just here to help. Use me.âÂ
You stifle a sharp, quick moan, biting your lips and thanking God that he couldn't see the face you made when his hips ground his cock up into your ass.Â
âI'm probably not ready for this,â you stuttered slightly, breath departing your body quicker than it could arrive.Â
âProbably not.â
âWe work together, too. It would be awkward.â
âIt might,â he nodded. âBut you still want to.âÂ
You couldn't help the moan, finally letting it free as you tossed your head back and clawed at his forearm, wrapped around you.Â
Your ass had a mind of its own, grinding back into him in circles as his hands found their way under your shirt, inquisitive fingers stroking your nipples through your bra.Â
âS-Spencer,â you whimpered again, legs spreading apart as you felt that familiar warmth settle between them. He didn't miss the longing in your tone, the shift in your core, pushing one hand down your stomach and trailing it onto your thigh.Â
It was as close as he could get with your pants still on, tight against your skin. He squeezed your thigh, still licking and sucking at your neck before his hand rose to the clasp of your pants.Â
It took him a long lime to fumble with them, and you thought of helping multiple times but you let yourself get distracted by the tense definition of his muscles, the rigid line of his body as he strained to please you.Â
Your mind fogged with lust, and you felt the vibrations from his pocket right under you when your phone rang again. You practically jerked up in shock as pleasure hit you in a wave, Spencer's fingers finally dipping into your panties just as the vibrations hit you. They weren't centred, of course, not anywhere close to where you needed them to be for you to enjoy them the way you would a toy, but that's what Spencer was for.Â
He let the call ring out, tracing small, slow circles over your clit as you jumped up into his hand, moaning and whimpering the entire time.Â
âWhat an idiot. I bet he never touched you like this. Nice and slow.â
âN-no, S-s-âÂ
âI'm so glad I'm right. He didn't deserve this beautiful cunt. You're so wet for me, right, baby?â You nodded and he hummed in response, voice low and making you pulse in his lap.Â
âThat's it, good girl,â he whispered as you worked your cunt up and down his fingers, stilling himself so you could find your own pleasure.Â
âSpencer⌠Spencer, fuck-âÂ
With his free hand, he turned your face to the side and finally kissed you properly as you moaned into his mouth. He was quick to deepen the kiss, to press his tongue against the seam of your mouth and enter your mouth, quickly dominating you as you let yourself get more and more excited. Your hips stuttered, out of rhythm and out of practice, and you almost whimpered in frustration that you couldn't get off quicker, that your body wasn't finding the orgasm quick enough despite how good, how perfect this felt.
Sensing your growing frustration, Spencer broke the kiss.Â
âCome with me,â he said, pulling his hands away from your wet cunt and out of your stupid pants and encouraging your hips up until you were stood and he was stood behind you.Â
Cock still firmly stood against your ass, he walked you all the way to his bedroom, hands on your hips the entire time, memorising the sway of your walk.Â
âStrip and get on the bed, please, Y/N,â he said, finally peeling himself away from you as you nodded quickly and listened to him immediately. You weren't sure what to expect, so you hesitated, laying down, crawling up until your head hit the pillows. You were almost disappointed when you finally looked back at Spencer and he was still fully clothed, so sure that he was going to fuck you to your climax.Â
Instead, he approached the bed, gently slid his arms around your thighs, opened your legs wider, knelt on the floor and brought your cunt to his face.Â
The first touch of his to guess to your clit had you almost beside yourself with lust. You'd been sexually active for a handful of years, and this - THIS - was the first time you'd experienced such acute pleasure.Â
Your hips were unable to stop, thrusting up into his face as you willed his tongue to engulf you, to be a tool in your pleasure.Â
Again your phone rang, but he grabbed it quickly, pausing only a second to silence it and discard it on the bed beside you, sitting it further up the bed where it would no longer be a distraction to him.Â
He dove right back in, and you rewarded him with wave after wave of fierce moan, your writhing body only restricted by a hand snaked up onto his stomach. You still pushed against his face, practically fucking it as he flattened out his to guess and let you chase your high.Â
âSpencer!â You gasped and moaned, voice dripping with lust and desperation, mouth not even properly forming words now you were so close.Â
You propped yourself up slightly, looking down as Spencer's eye caught your own, his chin slick with your juices, his eyes dripping with lust. You grabbed a handful of his hair and jumped that little bit faster as you felt that long forgotten whisper of pleasure, that all-encompassing explosion of satisfaction, and you came apart on Spencer's tongue.Â
âThank you, thank you, Spencer, shit, thank you,â you whimpered, falling back again into the bed as you rode out the high. When you managed to open your bleary eyes again, Spencer was propped up above you, but instead of paying you attention, he'd grabbed your phone and bought it to his ear.Â
âYou heard that? Good. I'm sure you're aware now that she won't be returning your calls tonight. Goodbye.âÂ
His voice, his words, were like a cold bucket of water to your brain as you sat up, reaching for him and finding him as his hips circled your waist.Â
âWas that-?â He cut you off with a kiss a sweet, soft one.Â
âYes.â He kissed you again and you melted into his touch as he pulled you into his lap again.Â
âH-He-âÂ
âHe knows now what a real orgasm sounds like. He knows you're not interested anymore. He knows you're mine now.âÂ
You shivered at the words, your lust addled brain flooding your senses, and your cunt as you reacted to the possessiveness of his words, his tone. Part of you was turned on by the exhibitionism as well. You'd had to walk in on your ex boyfriend completely exposed, and there was satisfaction in kicking him to the curb with a similar fuck you. A fuck you that you'd enjoyed a lot.Â
You pressed your lips against Spencer's and rocked your hips against him again, tasting yourself on his tongue as he laid you down once more. His cock twitched against your leg as he propped you up on the pillows, and your hands trailed down to show it some attention as your sighed into his kiss.
He eagerly shed his clothes, first his top, sitting up and pulling it over his head, giving you a deliriously enticing shot of his chest and soft stomach before dropping down to cover your body again. You let your hand find the sprinkling of hair on his lower stomach, though, following it down as you encouraged his pants off. His cock was thick and heavy in your hand, and you gladly stroked it as he kissed the plains of your body again. He found the side of your neck that he'd neglected earlier, licking and sucking until it was almost as loved as the first side, before pulling your hand away from his cock.Â
You pouted and began to protest when he quickly lined his cock up with your cunt, and slid in deep and soft before you could.Â
âNeeded to be in you,â he whispered in your ear, gripping your hips and sliding your legs up and around him as he pushed that little bit deeper. âKeep them nice and wide for me,â he said, dropping one last kiss to your lips, before his chest rose, and his hips pulled away again.Â
When they snapped back into you, you let out a generous scream of pleasure that almost had you wishing you'd never hung up. He set a quick pace, a furious pace as he too moaned into the contact of your cunt and his cock, two desperate people searching for release.Â
âSo tight, Y/N, you're so tight,â he moaned, flesh hitting flesh as you dug your nails into his arms, already so wet again, you could feel the sheets under you growing damp. His hand left its perch on your hip and found its way to your clit once again, and you knew that you weren't going to be able to keep to this pace without cumming a second time.Â
âKeep moaning for me baby, show me how much you want it,â his voice begged, almost a rumble with how lustful he sounded. You let your voice carry, each moan a little bit more unrestricted than the last.Â
âLouder, Y/N, please. I want to hear how much you're enjoying this, you don't know how much I enjoy hearing your pleasure.â
His prayers were answered when he lowered his head back down and took one of your nipples into his mouth, gently grazing it with his teeth between licks and sucks. You practically screamed his name, pressing your chest up to grant him better access.Â
You liquefied beneath him, pressure building and building until you felt him rock, lifting his chest as you came. He pulled his cock out, teasing it through your folds as you stuttered around him, your arousal squirting across his cock and sheets as you fell back to the bed, gasping in pleasure. Your hips stuttered against him, and he soothed you gently, still working his cock through your folds gently as your clit went from overwhelmed to calm to quickly overstimulated.Â
âSpencer,â you whimpered, almost unable to take all the pleasure he was offering you. âSpencer, it-it hurts.âÂ
âDon't you want me to stop?â He asked, stopping his movements for a second as you deliberated your answer. The lack of movement was answer alone, and you shook your head no wanting to feel his cock against you, inside you, one more time.Â
âLouder, Y/N, tell me what you want.âÂ
âI want to keep going,â you said, as he began slowly rocking his cock against you again, sticky from your cum.Â
âWhat do you want me to do?â He asked, teasing a nipple with his hand as your eyes fluttered shut.Â
âPlease fill me up again, please I want to cum again.âÂ
âOne more time?â He asked.
âMhmmm⌠one more⌠one more, please.âÂ
You were cum drunk, so horny that you couldn't fathom stopping there. He pressed another kiss to your lips and encouraged you to flip over, propping a pillow under your stomach as he pulled your legs into the right position.Â
You snuggled into the pillows at your head, pushing your ass up for him slightly as he nudged his cock against your entrance once more.Â
âWhere should I cum Y/N?â He asked, reaching under you to slowly circle your clit again.Â
âH-hmmmâŚâ you said, eyes shut, focused more on the pleasure than the question. You didn't care anymore. You didn't care where he came, just as long as he let you do it, too.Â
âY/N, I expect an answer. Where should I put my cum?âÂ
âAnywhere,â you pouted, pressing your hips back into his cock in the hopes that he'd just fuck you again already.Â
âThat's not an answer,â he said, gently slapping your ass as he pulled his cock away.Â
âOn your back?â He asked, fingers still working your clit underneath, but trailing lower until they found your cunt, two entering you to keep you wet and stretched for him.Â
âYou'd need to shower before you could pass out, but I'm happy to help clean you off. They have communal showers in prison, so I'm not shy.â You moaned at the suggestion but couldn't answer further.Â
âOn your stomach? Again we'd have to shower off, but I would love to see your boobs decorated all nicely.â Your moans were whimpers now as he edged you with his fingers, his words gentle in your ear but dripping with so much lust and promise you couldn't stand it. You didn't want to make decisions anymore.Â
âOn your face?â
âNot on my face,â you snapped quickly, and he nodded and stroked your hair, hooking a strand behind your ear as he agreed.Â
âOkay. Where, Y/N? Be a good girl and tell me.â
âI-Inside. Cum inside me. Please.âÂ
âOf course. Good job.â
He pulled his hand free gently, and quickly replaced it with his thick cock, and you moaned again at the weight of it against your walls, the familiar stretch of it. In this position, he reached deeper somehow, his thrusts slower, more precise as he drew out his own orgasm as long as possible, maximising his ability to pleasure you.Â
âGood girl,â he muttered against your skin, dropping a kiss to your back. âGood girl.âÂ
âWanted to do this for so long, Y/N,â he confessed with each thrust. âLook at how pretty this pussy is, how wet it is for me. I wish your boyfriend could see it. I wish he could see how well-behaved you are for me. How nicely you take my cock.âÂ
His deep, slow strokes, his words, the kisses he pressed against any inch of your skin he could reach combined to push you over the edge a third and final time. This one wasn't loud. It wasn't dramatic. It was a steady shudder of pleasure from your hips and a quiet, satisfied sigh.Â
You didn't say anything but Spencer knew, he felt it, and he came moments after, cock deep inside as he filled you with his cum.Â
âYou're on birth control, right?âÂ
âIUD. Pill. Yeah.â You say between breathy sighs of contentment.
Muttering something behind you, he pulled out finally, leaving for a minute to grab a washcloth and clean himself off before returning to help you as well.Â
âWhat did you mumble?â You asked, as he crawled back into your arms, looking up at him.Â
âWhat?â He asked, ears turning slightly pink as you stared at him intently.Â
âJust now. I told you I was on birth control, and you mumbled something.âÂ
He looked away, refusing to meet your gaze before dropping to kiss you sweetly once again.Â
âTell me,â you said, and he kissed you again.Â
âSpencer, tell me,â you pouted, and he kissed the pout away.Â
You almost asked again, but he kissed you too quickly, too deeply and you lost your breath again.Â
âI said,â he started, leaving you panting under him again. âIt was good you're on birth control, because I like the sight of my cum dripping out of you.âÂ
The remaining breath left your body as you gasped, your face growing hot. You burrowed your face in his chest and let him hold you as you drifted into sleep, wrapped up in each other.Â
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