#I actually wanted to write something different
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luna-azzurra · 3 days ago
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How to Write Long-Distance Friendships
⊹ Most of the friendship lives on screens now. And no, that doesn’t make it less real. It’s TikToks at Midnight, blurry selfies captioned “alive I guess,” a random “thinking of you” that hits harder than a Shakespeare monologue. These tiny, chaotic digital crumbs? That’s modern affection, guys.
⊹ Time zones are the actual villain. Like, congrats, your best friend is awake when you’re half-dead. You get really good at leaving messages in little bottles ( I mean, texts) that’ll wash up on their shore eight hours later. It's strangely poetic, if you ignore how annoying it is.
⊹ Calls turn into special events... You plan them like dinner reservations. Reschedule them like flaky exes and when they do happen, it’s either three hours of emotional unpacking or fifteen minutes of “I love you but my soul is leaking out my ears.” Either way, it counts.
⊹ They don’t know you're right now. Not really, they weren’t there for the coworker who ruined your day or the little bakery you fell in love with. So you have to explain everything, but sometimes you don’t. And that weird little space between what they know and what they don’t? That’s amazing, for Storytelling.
⊹ You start summarizing your life like a newsletter. “Still alive. Work sucks. Ate something questionable.” Not because you don’t want to share (you do) but because it’s hard to cram the full play-by-play into a 30-second voice note between meetings. Distance edits you down, that’s just how it works.
⊹ Big stuff hits differently. The good, the bad, the absolutely unhinged... it all feels heavier when you can’t scream-laugh or ugly-cry in the same room. No amount of phone calls makes up for sitting on the floor together eating cereal out of the box and feeling like maybe the world isn’t ending.
⊹ And yet, the love finds ways. It shows up in birthday texts sent in the wrong time zone, in Venmo notes like “for coffee and emotional damage,” And in playlists with suspiciously specific vibes.
⊹ Some don’t survive the distance. That’s just the truth, but that doesn’t mean they weren’t real or important. And the ones that do? the ones that hang on through all the missed calls and delayed replies and half-finished conversations? Those are steel-reinforced, weirdly telepathic, practically immortal friendships. The kind worth writing about.
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luckyladylily · 13 hours ago
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This is a very weird post to me because it's the most technically correct thing I've ever read in my life, but in a way that makes me think OP has not only lost the thread on kink vs vanilla but has gotten so lost in the sauce they are missing the point of fan fic in general.
To address kink vs vanilla, I have extensive real world experience and I can tell you right now that you cannot predict or otherwise draw hard conclusions about kink based on a person's personality or lived experiences. There can be some patterns, but they are not hard patterns you can count on. This is the way in which this post is very technically correct. It is absolutely true that character's favorite position could be no frills missionary, even if they seem like the kinkiest mother fucker who ever walked the earth. Some people do in fact have vanilla sex.
But that's a very weird thing to point out because most people already know this, and even in explicit fandom fics with bdsm dynamics are out numbered by fics focusing on more vanilla sex, especially in fics that are actually about character work where bdsm dynamics are so rare fics like this often don't even exist at all for many ships.
I know this because, for personal reasons I won't get into, "vanilla sex" (and how people write it) is deeply uncomfortable to me. I like character focused explicit fic, but trying to find something that doesn't make me want to claw my skin off means sifting through dozens of vanilla fics to find one fic that strays from vanilla dynamics enough to be palatable. And that's when I'm lucky and such a fic exists at all. This has held true in every single pairing and fandom I've ever spent time in.
The only 2 areas where dom/sub dynamics or other heavy kinks outweigh vanilla dynamics in fandom is discussion of sex among kinky fans and one shots specifically dedicated to low or zero context sex. In other words, where interesting sexual dynamics are more important than the actual characters involved. The parts of fandom where characters are just pretty dolls we use to populate our sexual fantasies.
The second post has it completely wrong. In these spaces, It's not that kink is a substitute for personality, it's that kink trumps personality. Fandom is playing with dolls, and maybe for you character work is what it's all about, but that's not true for everyone. We all play with the dolls differently, and it's not like people who are in it for the low context sexual fantasy are suddenly going to be into character work now you've pointed this out, so what's the point? If these people won't play correctly (according to you), then they shouldn't play at all?
Fandom is not a zero sum game. Out of character bdsm one shots are not actually taking away from your character focused works.
This is complaining about people playing with their dolls in a way you don't like. If you prefer one way of playing with the dolls the answer is to find like minded people, not getting pissy about others playing with their toys wrong.
nothing but respect for our troops (smut writers) but listen. i dont want to be the person to tell you this, but not every character is going to be a dom or a sub. some people. and i know this is hard to hear. but some people do have vanilla sex. and some of those people might even be The Character.
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vamptizm · 2 days ago
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SNOOZE — p. bueckers ix.
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pairing: paige bueckers x soraya mensima (oc)
synopsis: rookie paige bueckers enters the league with confidence, charm, and a bad habit of gravitating toward things she shouldn’t want— like soraya mensima, the wings’ respected star and reluctant heartbreaker. soraya’s been here longer, knows better, and refuses to let lines blur... even as paige keeps rewriting them with every smile.
warnings: fluff? sprinkles of domestic shit. sexual content/smut. idk what else.
word count: 7590
notes: live reactions and reblogs are more appreciated than just likes cuz i actually put my sweat and tears into this through a writing slump just for u guys
masterlist
♯┆taglist (open) .ᐟ ★ @brenwritesss @bueckersbitch @ekisokay @sierrale8ne @ohmybueckers @pboogerswbb @yailtsv @lilpaigeyherbo @prettygirl-gabi @mariahthealchemist @avvwritesstufff @vintagebueckers @naeswrrldd @thaatdigitaldiary
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The morning came way too slow for Paige.
She’d barely slept. Just tossed and turned in her hotel bed, staring at the ceiling, replaying every second of last night on an endless loop. She could still feel Soraya’s lips on hers. Still taste her, like it was haunting her. The faint scent of her shampoo, that warm and expensive perfume she wore lingering in the air between them, and the way Soraya’s skin had felt under her fingertips. The way her breath had hitched when Paige’s hands roamed her body.
Everything about Soraya pulled her in like gravity and the more she pushed her away, the harder Paige wanted to close the distance.
By the time they’d gathered in the lobby to check out, Paige was running on little sleep. The moment she saw Soraya step out of the elevator, something tightened low in her stomach.
Their eyes met, just briefly at first. Then again and again. Sometimes one of them broke it quickly, other times their gazes held longer than they probably should have.
Soraya’s stomach twisted with slight wariness. Had anyone noticed? Had any of their teammates somehow seen the way she had barely pulled Paige inside her hotel room doorway the night before? Had they seen thr way she had kissed Paige like she’d been starving for it? She doubted it. Or at least she hoped so.
She wasn’t ready for curious glances, or whispered questions, or judgment that she knew was just in her head. Not from teammates she barely even knew yet and not when she wasn’t even sure how to explain it to herself. Soraya had no idea what she was even doing.
By the time they loaded onto the bus, Soraya walked past Paige with a glance so subtle it could have been missed entirely. Her face was unreadable as she slipped into a seat beside Maddy, who was already sitting quietly near the back of the bus. Maddy had always been calm, steady and constant, not loud and energetic like some of their other teammates. She wasn’t intrusive, just easy and Soraya appreciated that. They’d entered this league together, fresh meat in a highly competitive world, navigating it side by side. That kind of natural bond didn’t need constant conversation to uphold.
Paige sat two rows ahead of them. She couldn’t resist the urge. As the bus doors shut close and the vehicle rolled forward, she shifted slightly in her seat, looking over her shoulder just enough to steal a glance at the older girl.
Soraya was sitting there, bare faced and effortlessly beautiful in her dallas wings hoodie, plain grey sweats hiding her legs. The cool air of the Minnesotan morning hadn’t caught her off guard, she had dressed for it, knowing it’d be different from the dallas heat.
Paige’s throat dried. God, even like this—no makeup, no heels, no glimmering dress— she was still so fucking beautiful. But shr didn’t let herself stare for long. She turned her head back toward the window, the road and landscape blurring as the bus drove towards the airport.
Soraya, who was fully aware of the glance, had been looking down at her phone, feigning disinterest. But she’d felt the burn of those blue eyes on her. She always did.
At the airport, as Soraya stepped off the bus to grab her suitcase, Paige was faster. She pulled it out of the trunk before Soraya could even reach for it.
For a second, she hesitated. She almost kept it in her hand. Almost offered to carry it all the way through the airport, but thought better of it. It was too much and too obvious. The last thing she wanted was to make Soraya pull away again.
She held it out instead. “Here.”
Soraya took it with a small, polite smile. Barely noticeable, but there. And Paige felt stupidly proud of herself for earning it.
The walk through security went by quick. Charter flights meant no crowds, no chaos. One of the few perks they only recently gained.
When they boarded the plane, Soraya reached up to store her carry-on. Once again, Paige stepped in before she could. She stepped in smoothly, taking the bag from Soraya’s hands and pushing it up into place. As she did, her top lifted slightly, exposing a glimpse of her stomach and the v-line cutting down beneath her waistband.
Soraya’s eyes flicked there involuntarily, a quick glance she couldn’t stop in time.
And Paige had caught her. She turned her head with perfect timing, catching Soraya’s stare dead on. The corner of her mouth curved into a knowing smirk that made Soraya snap her gaze away almost immediately, pretending to adjust her hoodie.
They settled into their seats soon after, the plane eventually lifting into the sky. Soraya tried to focus on her phone, but her legs itched to move. After about half an hour, she finally unbuckled her belt and stood to stretch. It was more of an excuse than actual discomfort, if she was being honest.
But instead of returning to her seat, she casually dropped into the empty spot next to her rookie.
Paige glanced sideways at her, eyebrows raised just slightly. She didn’t say anything right away, just waited.
Soraya nodded toward the iPad resting on Paige’s lap, earbuds in her hand. “What are you watching?”
“Grey’s Anatomy,” Paige answered, still watching her like she was waiting for the catch.
Soraya nodded again, her expression neutral but her eyes sharp, almost teasing. “Never seen it. Is it good?”
Paige blinked. “Are you serious right now?”
Soraya tilted her head a little, meeting her gaze fully. “Do I look like I’m joking?”
The deadpan delivery nearly made Paige shiver. ‘God, she’s so hot when she does that.’ The stoic face, the steady eye contact—it was enough to knock the breath right out of her.
Paige let out a quiet breath, trying to ground herself. “Well. You’re watching it now.” She paused, before adding, “I’m rewatching season one, so you’re not missing much.”
Soraya surprised her by simply nodding. “Okay.”
That one word sent a tiny jolt through Paige’s chest. The blonde fought the urge to smile too wide. She hadn’t expected her to stay. Or to give in so easily. She tried not to let the surprise show, simply queued up the first episode instead of resuming where she left off. Somewhere in her mind, she wanted Soraya to have the full experience. She wanted to share something—even if it was just a stupid TV show—for as long as she was allowed to have her close.
For the next hour or so, they sat side by side, Paige softly explaining plot points whenever Soraya leaned in with a quiet question. Eventually, neither of them said much. The show played, the plane hummed quietly around them, and the world outside blurred into nothing.
At some point, Soraya’s head naturally fell against Paige’s shoulder. And not long after, Paige’s head rested lightly on top of hers.
They both drifted off like that. The shared earbuds connecting them, breaths slow and even, bodies leaning into each other.
Most of the team remained disinterested. Minding their own business, chatting softly or dozing off.
Except for Dijonai, Arike and NaLyssa. All three of them exchanged subtle looks from their own seats, silent but fully clocking the scene playing out in front of them.
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Soraya Mensima loved to stir the pot.
Quite literally.
And, here she was, arm working in aggressive circular motions as she near to pounded the cassava and unripe plantain mixture into a firm paste.
Soraya couldn’t remember the last time she’d truly rested. The last time she’d gotten more than 4 hours of uninterrupted sleep. The last time she hadn’t had a nightmare or dreams that didn’t leave her feeling uneasy and uncomfortable after waking up.
Her head throbbed, her muscles ached and she could swear that her brain was starting to lag and fog. It was as if nothing made sense, but everything did make sense simultaneously.
But instead of lying down in bed next to her cat that was wholesomely purring for once—letting Soraya know how much she’d missed her the past couple days—she stood in front of her stove.
The scent of spices curled around the kitchen, warm and familiar. Almost comforting. She’d only attempted making ghanaian fufu once, and that was several years ago. By the time she’d finished, her arms ached and her stomach was growling so loud, her family could hear it from outside the kitchen.
It was one of those days, where your heart and soul ached for the past. Where nostalgia knocked at your door and you struggled to open the door for it. To invite it in and embrace it.
Growing up with an algerian mother, and a ghanaian father who passed away before Soraya could form a genuine bond with him, the girl had always felt like she’d been robbed of half of her. The other half of her identity, and not just in the form of a parent, but the culture as well.
Moving to the west had only intensified that feeling.
She never fully belonged anywhere—never fit in. Torn in half, it was as if no side truly claimed and embraced her. Always in the middle.
Though, she wore it with pride. Both of her identities. There wasn’t a time where Soraya Mensima wasn’t utterly proud of where she came from, how she was raised and how hard she’d worked to make it where she was today.
By the time Soraya was done, the kitchen was a mess.
Sticky pots and dirty pans in the sink, red sauce on the marble counter and splattered on the floor tiles from the wooden spoon falling a few times too many. Soraya couldn’t help but sigh as she lowered herself and got on her knees to wipe the ground with a wet kitchen towel. Sighed even louder while rinsing the dirty dishes and tossing them into her dishwasher.
Soraya ignored the way her head spun faster than she was used to, and the way her vision blurred for a few seconds too long. ‘I just need some cold water’ she told herself.
But as she moved towards the fridge and her knees buckled under her, she tightly curled her hand around the handle of her fridge, regaining balance. She blinked rapidly, but it only did little to restore her clear vision.
It wasn’t until Soraya fully sat on the cold floor, propping her upper half up with the flat of her palms and taking deep breaths, before she felt confident enough to lift herself up again.
Soraya shook it off the moment she was back onto her feet, pouring herself a cold cup of water with extra ice cubes, which she quickly chugged down.
She simply chalked it down to her hypothyroidism. It wasn’t the first time it decided to mess with her unannounced, throwing her off balance and bed-ridding her for the rest of the day. And it wouldn’t be the last, that’s something she was sure of.
A short while later as Soraya sat on her couch to restore her energy and coordination, she suddenly became painfully aware of the two big pots on top of her stove. Even more so, the emptiness and loneliness that lingered around her, haunting the apartment like a ghost that vowed to stay. She’d made so much food that she barely had the appetite for just for the sake of nostalgia and now it sat there—overwhelming and prominent.
Soraya thought about it for a little. Let every emotion flow through her—every thought, every urge, every feeling.
And eventually, her hand trailed towards the phone that lay beside her on the velvet couch. She scrolled through her contacts, somehow convincing herself that it’d be quicker and easier than the ‘hassle’ of typing the contact name into her search bar, and internally cursed at how many numbers she’d accumulated throughout the years.
Managers, coaches, teammates, friends, business partners and only a few relatives. Most of those numbers remained untouched, collecting dust in her contacts list.
Finally, her eyes landed on the one she’d been searching for all along.
Soraya remembered exactly when she’d changed the girl’s self assigned contact name. It wasn’t long after Paige had left her apartment. Soraya hadn’t even waited for the body to turn cold before she replaced the silly nickname and emoji with her full government name.
She thought it’d help. Help her compartmentalize, help her remember that their bond was meant to be professional—but that didn’t seem to work.
With a shaky thumb and hesitance that was near to suffocating her, Soraya pressed down on the call button, and she tried to steady her breathing as the phone rang. Once. Twice. Thri—
“Hello?” A husky voice rang through the other line, snapping Soraya out of it.
She could feel her heart rate picking up for no real reason, other than the fact that Paige had answered her call so quickly. As if she’d been anticipating it.
“Uh, hey.” Soraya breathed out, her tone soft and airy. She hadn’t figured out what else to say yet.
“What’s up?” The sleep in Paige’s voice was evident, and Soraya wasn’t sure how she hadn’t picked up on the moment the girl spoke.
“Were you taking a nap?” She asked.
Paige only hummed in response.
“Oh, fuck, sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you; it’s okay, go back to sleep.”
“Nah, it’s fine. Needed to get up anyway, so I should thank you,” Paige chuckled lowly, “So, what’s up? Why did you call?”
Soraya couldn’t help but be distracted by the rasp in her voice. ‘Is this what she sounds like every morning when she wakes up?’. She quickly shook those thoughts off.
“I called because,” the older girl trailed off, trying to find the words. Why was she so nervous around Paige all of a sudden? It made no sense to her. Just 48 hours prior to this she was grinding against her and making out with her, and now she couldn’t even properly speak her mind.
Soraya took a deep breath, hoping to ground herself before she continued. “I made too much food without realizing and to be honest, I don’t think I can nor do I wanna eat all of this by myself.”
It was quiet for a few seconds, enough to fill Soraya with doubt and regret.
But then Paige spoke again, “Are you inviting me over for dinner?”
Soraya could practically hear the smirk in her voice and she sighed in dramatic defeat. “I guess. But I made fufu, so if you can’t handle spicy food, don’t come.”
Paige was already sitting up in her bed, “Oh, I can handle it. Trust. I’ll be there in 20.”
“Cool.” The brunette replied with faux nonchalance.
And as they both hung up, neither of them could fight the smiles tugging at the corners of their mouth.
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Soraya stayed curled up on the couch, still feeling the exhaustion linger in her bones. The dizziness had dulled, but a faint haze still clung to her head. Not enough to knock her down, but just enough to keep her aware of how much her body was begging her to slow down.
What was supposed to be a quick twenty minutes felt like an hour by the time the chime on the wall finally rang. She sat up with a quiet sigh, slipping her feet into her fuzzy slides before shuffling toward the door.
Leaning forward, she pressed the intercom button. “Hello?”
“You gonna let me up or what? I look like a creep standing here while your neighbors are watching me,” Paige’s voice crackled through the speaker, laced with playful impatience.
A quiet chuckle escaped Soraya. “Yeah, alright, drama queen. They’re not gonna eat you.”
“Probably not,” Paige shot back without missing a beat, “but I’m tryna come up and eat.”
Soraya shook her head, biting back a grin as she buzzed her in, unlocking the building door before she stepped back. Being on the second highest floor, she knew it’d take a minute or two before Paige made it up.
Eventually, the doorbell rang—three quick chimes in a row. She frowned slightly at the pattern, taking notice of it instantly.
Her heart gave a small, involuntary kick. She drew in a breath, steadying herself before reaching for the handle and pulling the door open.
The door inched open, revealing Paige dressed in a simple, grey two piece sweatsuit and her golden hair tied into her signature bun.
Soraya had no clue how to greet her. Should she hug her? Did she even want to hug her? Or should she just step aside and make space for Paige to enter? Despite being in control here, she didn’t necessarily feel like she was. Not with her.
“Come in.” She stepped aside, choosing the safest option.
Paige stepped inside with a small grin, ignoring the way her heart skipped for a reason she didn’t care to analyze. Being in Soraya’s apartment again after everything felt strange, and too unfamiliar in its familiarity. Her gaze briefly landed on the deep green velvet couch, but she quickly looked away before the memory could fully creep in and turn her cheeks warm.
“Looks just like how I left it,” Paige said, tucking her hands into her pockets in an attempt to ease whatever tension might’ve been hanging between them.
Soraya rolled her eyes lightly, almost amused. “Yup. It’s been like... a few weeks, tops.”
“Felt like years.” Paige shrugged. She wasn’t just talking about being in Soraya’s apartment. She meant being part of her life—the little parts of her day outside of basketball. Driving her around. Looking out for her. She missed all of it more than she’d admit.
And Soraya caught that. How could she not? There was a small, familiar pang in her chest before she cleared her throat and took a slow breath through her nose. “You hungry?”
Paige let out a quiet laugh, amused by the question, as if she hadn’t rushed over the moment Soraya called. It wasn’t just about the food—God, it wasn’t just that. She missed her. Missed being around her, missed the comfort of whatever fragile thing they’d started building before it started slipping through her fingers like dry sand.
“Just a little,” Paige teased, pulling one hand out of her pocket to hold up her thumb and index finger, leaving a small gap between them.
Soraya chuckled quietly again, but this time, her eyes never left the blonde. “I gotchu.”
Soraya stood at the stove, gently reheating the spicy stew that had gone lukewarm after sitting untouched for over an hour. The rich aroma filled the small kitchen.
Paige, who’d originally settled onto the couch, found herself getting up after just a few minutes. She couldn’t sit there—not with the flood of memories pressing in, like an old movie reel spinning too fast. She needed a distraction. And she needed to be near Soraya.
“Can I help?” Paige asked softly, stepping into the kitchen. She came up behind Soraya, standing a little too close. Close enough to catch the warm notes of her perfume even through the heavy scent of simmering spices.
Startled by the proximity, Soraya glanced over her shoulder, blinking. “No, it’s okay. You can just sit until I call you.”
But Paige only shook her head. “Nah, I wanna help. Tell me what to do.”
Two simple sentences. But somehow, they made Soraya’s skin prickle with heat. Not from the stove, but from Paige’s quiet insistence and her closeness. She swallowed, trying to steady her breath.
“Uh, alright… You can set the table and grab whatever you want to drink from the fridge.”
She didn’t exhale until Paige finally stepped away toward the fridge, giving her some much needed space to breathe.
As Paige opened the fridge door, her voice lifted with sudden excitement. “Wait, is that Shirley Temple?”
Soraya glanced over, humming with a nod before turning her attention back to the stew.
Paige grinned wide, rubbing her hands together like a kid in a candy store as she pulled the large pitcher of rosy pink soda out and placed it on the table. She started exploring the cabinets for plates, cups, and utensils, opening the wrong ones more than once, prompting Soraya to redirect her with a soft chuckle each time.
The kitchen filled with the soft clinking of dishes, light laughter, and low conversation. The whole scene felt oddly domestic and natural. Like something they’d done a hundred times before.
Once the table was finally set, Soraya carried the heavy pot over and gently placed it in the center. The deep red stew shimmered beneath the warm lights, the aroma richer than ever.
“Hold on,” Soraya paused, spinning back toward the counter. “We’re forgetting something.”
She returned with two small bowls of water, placing one next to each plate.
Paige blinked at them, brows drawing together. “What’s that for?”
“It’s to dip your fingers in,” Soraya explained, a small laugh escaping as she sat down. “This is probably gonna get a little messy. Not exactly the best thing to eat on a first date.”
There was a beat of silence before Paige tilted her head, voice calm but deliberate. “Is this a date?”
The question landed heavier than it should have, making Soraya freeze for a split second. Her face grew warm, but she pushed it down, brushing it off with a shake of her head, trying to sound unaffected. “No… I’m just saying.”
Paige nodded, trying to mask the brief flicker of disappointment as she pulled out her chair and sat down across from her.
And for a moment, the only sound between them was the quiet clinking of silverware and the gentle bubbling of stew.
They sat across from each other, plates full, steam rising from the deep red stew. Soraya reached for her own portion of fufu, expertly pinching a small piece between her fingers and rolling it into a neat little ball before dipping it into the stew. She lifted it to her mouth effortlessly, glancing up to see Paige watching her movements like she was studying for an exam.
Paige furrowed her brows, trying to mimic what she’d just seen. She grabbed a bit of the soft pounded fufu, but it stuck awkwardly to her fingers, refusing to roll into anything remotely round.
“Like this?” she asked, her voice tinged with hesitant amusement, holding up a lumpy, uneven piece that flopped slightly in her hand.
Soraya bit back a grin. “You’re getting there.”
Paige let out a breathy laugh, determined. She tried again, this time managing a slightly better shape before dipping it into the stew. She raised it to her mouth with a bit too much caution, but finally took the first bite.
For a moment, all seemed well. She even hummed in appreciation. “Damn. That’s really good.”
But then it hit her.
The spice snuck up like an ambush—warming her tongue, then setting it ablaze. Her eyes widened slightly as the heat bloomed across her mouth and crept up to her cheeks. She blinked, swallowing hard, trying to keep her expression neutral.
Soraya watched it all unfold with amusement she couldn’t be bothered to hide. She saw the way Paige’s nose twitched like it was threatening to run, the way her face flushed a shade deeper, her eyes beginning to glisten. She was trying so hard not to break.
“You good over there?” Soraya asked, her tone light but teasing.
“I’m great,” Paige managed, forcing a grin. “It’s… a little spicier than I expected, but it’s fine. I got this.”
She quickly reached for her glass of Shirley Temple, taking a big sip. But the carbonation only made it worse, bubbling and prickling against her already burning tongue. Paige closed her eyes briefly, trying to play it cool, but Soraya caught the little stifled cough that followed.
That was it. Soraya couldn’t hold back any longer. She let out a soft, melodic laugh, shaking her head. “You’re really thuggin’ it out, huh?”
Paige laughed too, the tension easing between them as they both dissolved into giggles.
“It’s too good to stop,” Paige said, her voice slightly strained but genuine. “I didn’t come all the way here to tap out. My taste buds just need to toughen up a little, that’s all.”
Soraya’s heart softened, watching her push through, all to impress her—though she never would’ve been offended if Paige had stopped after the first bite.
“You know,” Soraya smiled, “you don’t gotta prove anything to me.”
“I know,” Paige said, eyes locking with hers for a brief moment that felt a little heavier than before. “But I kinda want to anyway.”
Soraya tried to bite back another smile.
When they finished eating, Soraya moved to start clearing the table, but Paige was already one step ahead of her, stacking the plates.
“I got it,” Paige said simply.
“You don’t have to—” Soraya started.
“I want to.”
There was no room for argument in her tone. Not forceful, but firm enough. Paige took the dishes to the sink, rolling up the sleeves of her sweatshirt.
Soraya leaned against the counter, watching her for a moment. “You sure?”
Paige glanced over her shoulder with a faint grin. “Sit down.”
Soraya let out a quiet breath, almost smiling. She grabbed her drink and retreated to the couch, watching Paige from across the room.
The running water filled the quiet, punctuated by the soft clinking of plates. Paige moved carefully, almost focused, as if washing dishes was some kind of offering. A small, gentle way to take care of Soraya.
Soraya studied the scene from her spot, her head resting against the back of the couch. The simple domesticity of it made her chest feel warmer than she expected.
“You’re doing them too slow,” she called out quietly after a minute.
“I’m being thorough.” Paige didn’t look back, but Soraya could hear the smile in her voice.
Soraya chuckled under her breath.
The water shut off. Paige dried her hands and finally turned around, her expression prideful. “Done.”
Soraya raised her glass slightly, half in thanks. “They better be squeaky clean.”
Paige’s smile lingered, softer now. “They are. Trust.”
Eventually they both stood in front of the door, Paige grabbing her car keys and slipping back into her shoes.
In all honesty, Soraya didn’t want her to leave so soon. But it was getting late, the sun had long set and tomorrow was a new day of hard work. She’d get to see her again soon.
“Alright, well… Drive safe, ‘kay?” Soraya’s voice came out softer than expected. Warmer.
And Paige didn’t miss it.
“I will, don’t worry.” She smiled, glancing at Soraya with gentle eyes. “Alright… I’ll see you tomorrow,”
Soraya nodded, but instead of stepping back, she took a small step forward. Before Paige could process it, Soraya’s arms wrapped around her shoulders, pulling her into a hug.
Paige froze for half a second, caught off guard. But then her body eased into it, arms instinctively sliding around Soraya’s waist. She inhaled the familiar scent of her perfume, her pulse quickening.
The hug lingered a few seconds too long to be casual. To not mean something to both of them.
When Soraya finally pulled back, her hands lightly brushing down Paige’s arms, she offered a tiny smile. “Goodnight.”
Paige could only nod, barely finding her voice. “Night.”
Her heart was still hammering as she stepped into the hallway, the soft click of the door behind her echoing louder than it should’ve.
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Most of the other teammates had already gone home to their partners, pets and the comfort of their own paces.
Soraya, however, wasn’t one of them.
She remained, occupying the weight room, training just as hard as she’d done ever since practice started early in the morning. It had to have been around seven in the afternoon, maybe six. She’d lost track a while ago.
Though, she wasn’t by herself.
Paige tried to focus on her own set, pressing the dumbbells up in steady reps, but her attention kept slipping.
The rookie couldn’t stop her eyes from drifting towards Soraya, eyes locked on the girl’s form as she lowered herself into squats. Hands tightly curled around the barbell that was propped on top of her shoulders, elbows tucked correctly. Her form was one of the best ones that Paige had seen so far.
And every time Soraya lowered her body, Paige couldn’t help but let her gaze trails towards the curve of her ass.
’Focus, you horny fuck.’ She’d tried to snap herself out of it. But that proved to be hard when every time Soraya came up from her barbell squats, a quiet exhale left her lips—almost like a soft groan—and even though her headphones blocked out most of the weight room noise, Paige couldn’t unhear it. Couldn’t unsee the way Soraya’s body moved, strong yet fluid, her form flawless.
It was starting to make her head spin.
“Psst. Paige.”
Her gaze snapped up, locking with Soraya’s, who was already looking at her from across the room with a small smirk.
“Can you spot me? I wanna bench press,” Soraya called, setting her barbell back into place.
“Yeah, sure,” Paige answered immediately, getting up and making her way over. As she stood behind Soraya while she settled onto the bench, Paige teased, “Pretty sure you’ll be fine without me.”
Soraya let out a quiet chuckle, hands curling around the barbell. “Probably. But I’m tryna challenge myself today. Better safe than sorry.”
Paige nodded, watching carefully as Soraya started her first set with two 25 pound plates on each side. The bar moved smoothly and effortless.
“Can you add another two 25s?” Soraya asked after racking the bar again.
Without question, Paige grabbed the plates and loaded them on, trying her best not to stare at how Soraya’s chest rose and fell under her snug sports bra. She blinked quickly, redirecting her attention.
Soraya lifted the bar again, lowering and pressing it without any real strain. Paige couldn’t help but shake her head.
“Two more,” Soraya said, exhaling.
Paige’s brows drew together. “You sure?”
“Mhm,” Soraya hummed. “I usually do 170. But like I said, I wanna push it today.”
Paige hesitated briefly, but nodded. “Whatever you want.”
She added the last pair of 25s, bringing the total up to 200 pounds. As Soraya arched her back and gripped the bar, Paige positioned her hands close, hovering just above the barbell, fully locked in.
Soraya lowered the bar slowly. A deep groan rumbled from her chest as she pressed it back up, her arms visibly trembling now. Her eyes squeezed shut, muscles tense with effort. Paige was hyper aware of every second. The bar, her breathing, the way Soraya’s body strained beneath the weight. And yet, somehow, her mind kept drifting places it shouldn’t.
After a couple more reps, Soraya racked the bar with a controlled exhale, a wide grin spreading across her flushed face. She sat up, turning to Paige with bright eyes.
“What did I say?” she teased, giving Paige a light smack to the stomach with the back of her hand.
Paige laughed under her breath, shaking her head. “Yeah, alright, alright. You did good.” The pride in her voice was obvious, and Soraya felt her chest warm at the sound of it.
“Your wanna switch?” Soraya asked, tilting her head, and Paige nodded.
Soraya stood behind Paige at the bench, watching her lower the weights back down to 150 before taking Soraya’s place as she gripped the barbell and began her set. The heavy weight moved smoothly in her hands, barely testing her. Soraya licked her lips without realizing, tracking every controlled motion as Paige pressed the bar up and down with steady breaths.
Eventually, Paige set the bar back into place and turned her head toward Soraya, still lying flat against the bench.
“C’mere.”
Soraya didn’t hesitate, stepping around to stand beside her.
Paige’s gaze swept up her figure before landing on her eyes. “Can I lift you instead?” she asked, voice dripping with teasing confidence.
Soraya raised an amused brow, a grin threatening her lips. “What’s wrong with the barbell?”
“Not good enough,” Paige replied, fully smirking now. “I’d enjoy bench pressing your pretty ass a lot more.” She licked her lips slowly, eyes shamelessly tracing Soraya from head to toe.
Soraya felt her heart pick up, heat spreading beneath her skin as she fought the smirk on her own face. With a quiet breath, she echoed Paige’s words from the day before, “Whatever you want.”
She stepped in closer, standing right by the bench, already crossing her arms over her chest. Paige didn’t waste a second, placing one hand against Soraya’s stomach, the other just above her knees and carefully adjusting her hold before smoothly lifting her off the ground.
Soraya let out a surprised little laugh as Paige settled her weight horizontally across her hands, belly down. “Okay, okay—” she giggled as Paige began to lift and lower her steadily, as if she weighed nothing.
Every time she was pushed upward, Soraya caught fleeting glimpses of Paige’s smirking face below her, eyes sparkling with amusement and something warmer. Then she shot her a cocky, playful wink. Soraya rolled her eyes with a breathy chuckle, but she couldn’t fight the heat low in her stomach.
Suddenly Paige picked up the pace, pressing her up a little faster.
“Paige—!” Soraya squealed, half laughing, half shrieking.
“You’re light,” Paige said, grinning wide, the weight of her gaze almost heavier than her hands. “Could do this all day.”
Shortly after, Paige lowered Soraya back down slowly, but instead of fully letting go, she let Soraya land softly onto her lap. The gentle drop sent a small shock through Soraya, who let out another breathless giggle, now straddling Paige’s thighs.
Paige’s hands remained steady on her hips, fingers curling just slightly as their eyes met for a lingering beat. Neither of them spoke, there wasn’t much to say when the air between them was already thick enough to speak for itself.
Then Paige’s voice cut through, low and velvety. “Actually,” she tilted her head, eyes glinting. “Sit on the bar.”
Soraya blinked, caught off guard. “The bar?”
Paige smirked, nodding toward the bench press. “Yeah. Facing me.”
The request alone made Soraya’s lower stomach flutter. A faint blush crept up her neck, but she didn’t hesitate for long. “You’re ridiculous,” she murmured under her breath, shaking her head with a breathy laugh as she removed the weight plates and climbed carefully over Paige’s head.
Paige adjusted herself, letting Soraya swing one leg over, then the other, until she was perched carefully on top of the barbell, her thighs spread as she faced Paige directly. Her hands found the sides of the machine to steady herself, heart pounding as she tried to fight the flustered grin threatening her lips.
“Ready?” Paige asked, already curling her hands under Soraya’s thighs, gripping her gently but firmly.
Soraya bit her lip, nodding once. “Don’t drop me.”
“Never.” Paige’s smirk was impossibly smug as she lifted Soraya off the bar with ease.
The rhythm was slow at first. Soraya rising and lowering in steady motions, her hands gripping the frame, head tilted slightly downward, eyes flickering between the way Paige’s arms flexed beneath her and the steady pull of Paige’s gaze locked directly on her.
With every upward press, Paige’s face was nearly flush against Soraya’s core, her breath ghosting against the thin material of Soraya’s shorts. Every descent brought the plush of Soraya’s ass down softly against Paige’s chest, the warm pressure of their bodies meeting in ways that drove both of them crazy.
The tension tightened between them with each motion. Soraya’s thighs tried to instinctively squeeze slightly the closer she came down, her breath hitching faintly every time Paige’s face hovered inches from her heat.
Paige licked her lips slowly, blue eyes darkening with each controlled lift. “You’re so much better than any barbell,” she muttered under her breath, the weight of her voice sending shivers through Soraya’s already burning body.
Soraya’s hands clenched tighter against the machine as her breathing grew uneven. “Yeah, I can tell.” Her voice came out quieter than intended, shaky with the warmth spreading through her like wildfire.
Paige didn’t respond this time, only smirked and pressed her up again, letting the silence between them pulse with electric heat.
The blonde gently helped Soraya back onto the floor, releasing her grip as she let her catch her balance. She sat up straight, head tilted slightly to look up at Soraya, who was already gazing down at her.
The silence between them was charged. Their eyes locked, and it was as if they were having a full conversation without saying a single word. There was no playfulness this time, only raw heat, a silent exchange of permission and want.
Paige’s hands slid back up, curling around Soraya’s hips, slowly tugging her closer until she was standing between her spread legs. Her voice was soft, almost dreamlike. “Wanna kiss you.”
The words barely hung in the air, thick with desire.
Soraya’s pulse quickened. She told herself this was the moment she should step away, that she should stop it before it escalated into yet another thing they couldn’t take back. But the longer Paige looked up at her like that—those flushed cheeks, darkened eyes, lips parted—the less she cared.
Her hands found Paige’s shoulders, grounding herself. “Yeah? How bad?” she whispered, voice breathy, teasing, testing.
Paige’s smirk was slow and hungry, her grip on Soraya’s hips firming slightly. “So fucking bad.”
Soraya swallowed, eyes flickering over Paige’s face, drinking in every detail like she was trying to memorize her. ’God, why did she have to be so beautiful?’
A quiet curse slipped from her lips. Fuck it.
She leaned down, one hand sliding to Paige’s jaw, tilting her chin up before finally closing the small space between them. Their mouths met. Slow at first, tender, but it didn’t take long before it deepened, turning messier, hungrier. Like they both had been waiting for this too long.
Soraya climbed into Paige’s lap without breaking the kiss, straddling her thighs, pressing herself closer. Paige groaned softly, hands gliding over Soraya’s back, up her spine, tracing her body like she couldn’t get enough of touching her.
Their kisses grew more desperate, open mouthed and breathless. Paige sighed into Soraya’s mouth as Soraya tugged lightly at the hair at the nape of her neck, earning a low hum from the blonde.
The weight room, the world, everything else faded behind the heat of their bodies pressed together, the taste of each other’s lips, the heavy sound of their breathing filling the quiet space.
Paige's lips never left Soraya’s as her hands slid lower, gripping beneath her thighs before lifting her with ease. Soraya instinctively wrapped her legs around Paige’s waist, gasping softly as she was pinned against the nearest wall, the cold surface biting against her back.
The gasp was all Paige needed. She deepened the kiss instantly, tongue slipping in to meet Soraya’s, their mouths moving together in a hungry, messy rhythm. Every moan, every quiet breath was swallowed between them.
Paige’s grip tightened, grounding Soraya against the wall as their kiss grew filthier, needier. Soraya’s fingers curled tighter behind Paige’s neck, but after a few desperate minutes, she let one hand fall. She tapped against Paige’s forearm, breath shaky, before tugging lightly at her wrist—wordlessly asking.
Paige understood immediately. Her hand shifted, pressing firmer into Soraya’s backside to hold her steady as she slipped her free hand between their bodies.
Her fingertips ghosted over Soraya’s gym shorts, teasing, barely touching. Soraya’s breath hitched, her lips parting as she buried her forehead briefly against Paige’s.
Paige’s voice came out low, cocky, and breathless against her ear. “Right here?”
Soraya let out a soft breath, nodding faintly. “Don’t make me say it.”
That made Paige grin against her mouth. Her hand pressed fully now, rubbing slow, deliberate circles over Soraya’s clothed core, feeling the heat radiating through the thin fabric. Soraya’s hips rolled against the movement automatically, breathing heavy, her grip tightening in Paige’s hair.
“Fuck—” Soraya whispered brokenly, her voice hitching as Paige’s fingers pressed a little harder, slow but torturously steady.
The weight room felt too quiet now—except for the sounds of their breath, their lips, and the soft friction between Paige’s hand and Soraya’s desperate body.
Neither one cared who might walk in.
Paige’s fingers kept their torturously slow rhythm over Soraya’s shorts until she couldn’t take it anymore. Not when she felt how wet the fabric was beneath her hand. Her breathing came out shallow, her own arousal buzzing through her veins like static.
“Damn, you’re soaked,” Paige murmured into Soraya’s ear, lips brushing against the shell of it. The teasing lilt in her voice sent a full body shiver through Soraya.
Instead of getting flustered or shutting her down, Soraya met her gaze. Steady, burning and completely unashamed. She nodded, biting her lower lip before she whispered, “Mhm. For you.”
The answer made Paige’s head spin. Her cocky smirk faltered for a second under the weight of how much that turned her on.
Without another word, Paige’s hand slipped beneath the waistband of Soraya’s shorts, past the thin line of her panties, finally meeting her bare, dripping heat. Her fingers slid through the wetness, exhaling sharply as her fingertips glided over her folds.
“Fuck,” Paige breathed, her voice rough. “You’re gonna kill me.”
Soraya just smiled faintly, a low breath escaping her as she clung to Paige’s shoulders.
That was all Paige needed. She let two fingers slip inside her in one smooth motion, burying them to the last knuckle. Soraya gasped sharply, her head tipping back against the wall. Paige’s thumb found her clit easily, starting small, tight circles as her fingers began to pump in and out, slow at first but gradually building a rhythm.
“Fuck, look at you,” Paige whispered, watching the way her body reacted with every movement. “So fucking perfect.”
Her words were filled with reverence, like Paige was dead set on worshiping her right there against the wall. Every roll of her wrist was deliberate, calculated, like she had something to prove—and she did.
She wanted to ruin Soraya. She wanted to make her crave it. To make sure that after tonight, Soraya wouldn’t be able to look at her without remembering this.
Soraya’s breathing grew shakier, her hips moving involuntarily to meet Paige’s hand as the pleasure started to build fast and hot. “Don’t stop—” she exhaled, breath hitching.
Paige leaned in, lips brushing against Soraya’s jaw as her fingers curled. “I won’t. Not ‘til you come for me, mama.”
Soraya whimpered softly, the coil in her stomach tightening dangerously with every pass of Paige’s thumb, her legs trembling slightly around Paige’s waist as the pressure built.
And Paige could feel how close she was. How badly her body wanted to give in.
“C’mon, baby,” Paige whispered against her lips. “I gotchu.”
The rope finally snapped, Soraya’s body jerking against the wall as she came with a breathless cry, her nails digging into Paige’s shoulders. Paige held her through it, never slowing her hand until Soraya fully unraveled in her arms.
When Soraya finally sagged against her, limp and breathless, Paige pressed a slow, lingering kiss to her temple, her chest heaving.
Neither of them spoke for a moment. But when Soraya finally managed to look down at her, eyes still hazy, she whispered with a small, teasing grin.
“…you might actually kill me.”
Paige grinned back up at her, utterly wrecked in the best way. “Not yet.”
Soraya was still catching her breath, heart pounding against her ribcage, but her lips found Paige’s again, slow and hungry. Desperate for more. Her voice came out as a breathy mumble against the blonde’s mouth.
“Wanna do you right too…” she whispered, fingers lightly tugging at Paige’s waistband, making her intentions very clear.
Paige was all for it. Her lips curved into a smirk against Soraya’s, hands gripping her waist tighter. “Yeah?” she breathed, voice low and eager, “Right here?”
But before anything else could happen, the sound of footsteps echoed faintly from outside the weight room. Both of them froze.
Paige reluctantly set Soraya back down on her feet, still steadying her by the hips as they both listened for a moment, holding their breath with hidden smiles on their faces. The footsteps grew distant again, but the interruption had already sobered them slightly.
Soraya cleared her throat softly, stepping back just enough to put a bit of space between them in case anyone walked in unexpectedly.
Paige let out a soft chuckle, still looking at her with hooded eyes. “Already running away from me?” she teased, voice dripping with playfulness.
Soraya rolled her eyes, lips curling into a faux annoyed grin. “Shut the fuck up”
With the heat still simmering between them, they eventually made their way out of the weight room, stealing one last long hug before parting ways in the parking lot.
Paige followed Soraya to her car, standing back as she made sure Soraya got in safely and drove off. Only then did she head toward her own car, the smirk still tugging at her lips as she climbed inside, her mind replaying every second of what just happened as she finally drove off into the night.
extended taglist 🐆 — @thelightknight21 @private-but-not-a-secret @angryflowerwitch @jieysiee @angelliicc @paigebaby5 @ttytttt-gndgnvbm @syraxbigfanfr @forward1212 @niya500 @wosolipa @enchantingesme @everyonewatchesuconnwbb @ksimsplayer @hggbiijj @pupbistro
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mustyrosewater · 3 days ago
Text
𝖆𝖋𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝖉𝖆𝖗𝖐
𝖊𝖗𝖎𝖐 𝖈𝖆𝖒𝖕𝖇𝖊𝖑𝖑 𝖝 𝖆𝖋𝖆𝖇!𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖉𝖊𝖗
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𝖜𝖔𝖗𝖉 𝖈𝖔𝖚𝖓𝖙: 14.7k
𝖘𝖞𝖓𝖔𝖕𝖘𝖎𝖘: you met your best friend julia in highschool two years before graduation, you kissed her older brother on halloween, logic says that four years later, you would completely forget about something like that, right?
𝖜𝖆𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌𝖘: mutual pining, a little bit of angst, mentions of a cheating boyfriend, drunk kisses, rated n for nasty, SMUT, cursing, cliche in the form of falling for your best friends older brother. also julia is a lesbian no i don’t take criticism.
𝖆𝖚𝖙𝖍𝖔𝖗𝖘 𝖓𝖔��𝖊: hey gang, so, in an attempt to write something small before releasing another chapter of an ongoing series, somehow i managed to turn this into a 14k word slow burn, please enjoy and as always comment and reblog to show your support! it means the world to me! also massive thanks to @babybluebex for brainstorming all of this with me including being the one who came up with the idea that erik drove a 2005 ford taurus post graduation.
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It hadn’t been something you expected when you became friends with Julia, being paired together for a project by your teacher in eleventh grade had seemed to be some sort of divine intervention.
Initially, you’d been apprehensive; Julia was hardly the type of person you would be drawn to, her blonde hair and tan being a more than enough difference to your own more alternative choice of dress and appearance, yet somehow, a friendship bloomed quite promptly.
She’d been so sweet, offering you gum while you sat together and cracking jokes that actually made you laugh, not at all the dense popular girl stereotype you’d unfairly constructed of her inside your own mind. Julia actually evidently loved hanging out with you, and you with her.
Where you’d first spent time with each other out of obligation, sitting together in the library to study together or inviting her around to your house to work on the project, it then turned into going to the mall together and sitting together at lunch so that she could bitch about her brothers and laugh about things with you.
The first you’d heard of her brothers was purely by mention when you were studying together in the public library after school, Julia’s phone had vibrated, and she opened it up only to chuckle and type something back.
“Who’s that?” you’d asked curiously, peering your head over with a smirk, initially thinking that maybe it was a boy, someone she’d been flirting back and forth with.
“Just my brothers.” she’d laughed, turning her phone around to reveal the photo that had seemingly been taken from the inside of a car, two males varying in age making silly faces at the camera as the older brother drove, the photo seemingly taken by the younger.
“Oh, i didn’t know you had any siblings.” you’d responded, nodding your head as you looked back at the photo.
“Yeah well, Erik already graduated, and Bobby’s three years younger than me.” Julia explained, shrugging her shoulders as she closed her laptop and began placing things in her bag, humming to herself.
“They’re actually on the way to get me now. Do you need a lift?” She’d offered, smiling across at you in that way that was always contagious, leaving you unable to stop your own smile from crawling across your features.
Mulling the offer over in your head, you bit your lip and tapped your pencil against the table, trying to decide whether or not you wanted to stay a bit longer. It was pretty late after all, just now starting to get dark outside, even if it was only about six thirty, even more of a marker that summer was starting to finish up.
“If that's okay?” you finally asked, starting to pack up your own things as Julia nodded brightly and excitedly, holding out her hand for you as soon as you stood, which you took in your own, swinging your interlocked hands together as you exited the library.
“You should sleep over!” she offered, seeming like she was excited by the idea as she gripped your hand tighter, only spurring on a laugh from you. “We can watch that stupid movie, fuck what was it called..” she trailed off, placing a hand on her forehead as she tried to remember.
Snapping her fingers, she pointed a finger at you as her eyes brightened up, “After! The one that was like a fucked up Harry Styles fanfiction!”
Rolling your eyes, you groaned audibly and tilted your head back, looking back at her as she nodded in tandem with you shaking your head.
“Jesus christ, no, Julia.” you laughed through your words, still holding her hand as you stood by the entrance of the library and waited for your lift to arrive.
“I’ll sleepover, but we’re not watching that movie.”
Seemingly only excited that you said yes to the sleepover, Julia did what could only be described as a little happy dance, balancing her books in one hand as she held yours with her other.
“Oh my god, im so excited, i’ll get Erik to order us pizza.”
As if it were a speak of the devil type summoning, the sound of what could only be described as a tin man gargling nails began to sound out in the distance, your brows furrowing as you looked around the almost abandoned parking lot for the source of the sound.
Coming peeling around the corner, the silver car that looked to be a model that was over a decade old pulled into the parking lot of the library, its motor sounding like the depths of hell and the tires skidding slightly as the driver turned.
The sound of metal music blaring only got louder as the car got closer. You could see the passenger side window rolling down when it finally pulled up in front of you, Julia walking down the steps with a large grin as she waved.
You were hesitant as you stepped after her, part of you worried that this car could blow up any second based on the sound, much less hesitant to get inside based on the way her brother was driving.
“My friend’s coming over to stay.” she spoke matter-of-factly, opening the back door and leaning in to seemingly brush trash away, old cigarette packets and McDonald's bags.
When she shuffled her way into the backseat, you leaned in to finally catch a glance at these lucrative brothers, the youngest of whom in the front passenger seat couldn’t have been any older than fifteen, waved at you and grinned, looking like the nicest kid you’ve ever seen in your life.
The older brother, the one in the driver's seat with one hand resting on the steering wheel, only spared a glance at you as you got in, buckling your seat belt.
“Did you ask dad?” he spoke pointedly, looking at Julia through the rear-view mirror with his eyebrows raised, only for Julia to roll her own eyes and let out a long sigh.
“Dad doesn’t care.” she responded, her tone laced with an overwhelming sense of sass that for a moment you wondered if she even got along with her brother.
Just as you thought an argument was potentially going to start between the siblings, the eldest brother, Erik, shrugged his shoulders before putting the clutch into drive.
“Works for me.”
Before you even got the chance to open your mouth to thank him for giving you a ride, you were gripping the passenger door for dear life as he spun the steering wheel and turned the radio back up, peeling out of the library parking lot like he was drag racing.
When looking over at Julia, she only laughed at your nervous expression, evidently used to her brothers' more than lenient view on traffic laws and speeding limits.
Managing to make it to the Campbell family home without crashing, even if your legs felt wobbly getting out of the absolute death trap that was Erik’s 2005 ford taurus, you and Julia retired to her bedroom and began to settle in for a movie night, even if she’d gone ahead and put on that stupid after movie anyway.
You’d be lying if you said you weren’t finding yourself even slightly pulled in by the awful plot and acting, turning into a hate watch as you sat on the bed with Julia.
“This is horrible.” she wheezed as you sat shoulder to shoulder, shovelling popcorn into your mouths together.
You shrugged your shoulders, tilting your head as a scene with the main male lead played on the screen, a horrid rendition of a Harry Styles knockoff, though the tattoos weren’t bad.
“He’s kinda hot.” you mused, unable to stop yourself from cracking up as you watched Julia’s face contort into a look of judgment and horror all at once.
“Ew! He literally looks like my brother!” she cried, holding her hand out at the screen for extra emphasis.
The sudden realization of the shared resemblance between the two men made you almost spit out your popcorn with laughter, leaning over the side of the bed to cough as you both laughed until your stomachs hurt.
This was always going to be the sign that you and Julia were going to be best friends for the rest of your lives, only with her did you ever laugh so hard that you got lightheaded or feel comfortable telling even your deepest thoughts.
The rest of that same year had been more than enough time for you to wedge your way into the Campbells’ lives, coming around almost every week, her parents loved you, always overjoyed when you came around to the point it was like you lived there half the time.
Dinner sat with the rest of her family, or barbecues out in the backyard when the weather was warm, there was so much effort on her and her family’s part to include you.
It made your heart soar.
So much of your time was spent by Julia’s side, whether it was playing video games with Bobby or the pair of you begging Erik for a lift to the mall, the pair of you putting all of your power to be annoying together to eventually get him to cave every time.
“Ok, Ok, if i take you to the mall, will you both shut the fuck up and leave me alone.” he’d groan from where he sat on his bed, the pair of you nodding excitedly from where you’d stuck your heads into his room.
Howard had seemed to recognise parts of himself in you, even if you didn’t say it, you both knew that the Campbells were the closest thing to family you had. With your mother’s tight work schedule, the only family member you had was barely home half of the time, leaving you to essentially need to function on your own.
The Campbells’ family home became your safe haven, to the point that the guest room started becoming your go-to bedroom when you came to sleep over. Your possessions and clothes were starting to be left in there to the point that it was hardly even a guest room anymore.
Within a year, you’d been accepted as an extra family member.
Even your eighteenth birthday had been spent with the Campbells, who’d gone to the trouble to get you a cake and prepare a little barbecue with some small decorations.
As much as they might have thought it was small, you hugged Julia behind closed doors and cried softly in her arms, so thankful to have her in your life to the point of tears.
Bobby and Erik had even gone to the trouble to get you a present, Bobby handing it to you sheepishly as Erik stood behind him with his hands in his pockets.
You hugged Bobby tightly and resisted the urge to pinch his cheeks, the now sixteen-year-old looking awfully proud of himself.
“Alright, come here..” you’d heard Erik say, laughing together as he pulled you into a one-armed side hug, his desire to put forward a nonchalant nature betraying him as soon as he’d seen your eyes start to fog up all over again.
While they might not have thought it was anything special, the little Claire’s necklace never left your neck from that day onwards, even when the chain started to rust, you just got a new one.
The little skull and crossbones were a pretty obvious nod to your alternative choice of wear, something that you and Julia always thought was funny, the stark difference between your two styles always being a point of conversation.
It only made sense that when Erik needed somebody to practise on when he started getting trained to be a body piercer by the tattoo shop in town, Julia had come to you.
“Fuck no.”
“Please! He just needs to do a nose, then they can upskill him, he only needs one person!”
Julia sat across from you in the food court, her arms outstretched towards you as he gripped your wrists and shook them softly.
“I’m not letting your brother come anywhere near me with a needle!” you argued, pulling your hands away from her, only for Julia to put her hands together in a motion that looked similar to either prayer or begging.
“Come onnnn! He won’t stop bugging me about it! If he can’t get his certificate, he’s gonna be miserable, and I’m the one that’s gonna have to deal with it.”
You sat and stared for a few moments, biting your lip, obviously a free nose piercing wasn’t something you would normally turn down, considering you wanted it for ages, but the idea of letting Erik do it only filled you with anxiety.
It would look pretty sweet, though.
Holding up a pointed index finger, you watched Julia’s expression light up with hope.
“You have to hold my hand.”
Your confirmation made Julia practically jump out of her seat, pulling you into a hug and rocking you back and forth as you tried to push her off.
“Thank you!” she cried out.
That was how you then found yourself lying back in the black leather chair in the tattoo studio Erik was currently apprenticing at, Julia sat by your side and gripping your hand tightly as Erik used a marker to put a little dot on your nose.
“Please don't kill me.” you whispered, only producing a chuckle out of him as he rolled his stool back to reach for the sterilized needle on his side table.
“I make no promises.” he spoke softly, only to receive a smack on the shoulder from Julia.
“Shut up, she’s already nervous.”
When he finally pushed the needle through, you shut your eyes and squeezed Julia’s hand so hard that you thought you might hurt her, trying to maintain a steadiness to your breathing as he put the jewelry through, a plain silver stud.
Maybe it was a good way to celebrate being eighteen, being able to sign off on your own piercing, just so happened that it was convenient timing to be around the same time Erik needed a guinea pig.
Rising from the leather seat slowly, as instructed, you could already see Julia smiling brightly as she leaned in to have a closer look.
“Look’s hot.” she mused, only resulting in you rolling your eyes.
“Shut up.” you chuckled, pushing her shoulder slightly so that you could pick up the mirror Erik was handing you, holding it up to your face and beholding the small silver stud that was now sticking through your nose.
You loved it, of course you did, and it was difficult to hide that, considering the massive grin coming across your face, turning your view to where Erik sat, satisfied with his work.
“Well, you’re not dead.” he stated with a smirk, tossing the used needle in a jar. “Guess that means I did a good job.”
Shaking your head, you pushed yourself off of the black leather chair and reached forward to take Julia’s hand in your own, grabbing your bag off her shoulder and swinging it over your own.
“Thank you, Erikkkk..” you mused, swinging Julia’s hand in your own as you headed for the exit, swinging the studio door open with a ring of the bell and walking out, laughing with Julia as you did.
-
Halloween was always something you’d loved as a child, fond memories of fake blood and jack o lanterns that still brought warmth to your heart even now.
Obviously the holiday and its activities seemed to take a sharp turn when you turned eighteen, the party you and Julia had been invited to promising to be a “rager.” or at least that’s what Julia had said.
Her bluetooth speaker had thrilled blasting out of it as the pair of you got ready together, finally looking at yourself in the floor length mirror, your mouth hanging open at the costume she’d convinced you buy.
“Julia, I can’t wear this.” you spoke, turning to look at where she was sitting on the floor applying mascara with her hand mirror, her head turning to look at you as she looked you over and shook her head.
“It’s perfect, I was right.”
Her words only brought a huff from you, the short skirt and fishnets seeming an odd match for the red hooded cape and corset, a crude version of a sexed up red riding hood.
As much as you wanted to pull it off of your body and opt for something else, maybe even something that was genuinely scary, you knew there was no arguing with Julia, especially when she had set her mind on something.
Apparently her mission for the night was to get you laid, at least that’s what it seemed based on what she’d picked for you.
You knew there was a girl that was going to be at the party that Julia had her eyes on, the pair of them having been exchanging flirty text messages for a few weeks now, so you were wholeheartedly supportive of that.
“Oh yeah, don’t forget to ask Erik if he’ll buy us some booze.” she mused, applying a coat of lip gloss and adjusting the sleeping beauty costume she’d changed into.
“I don’t understand why we can’t just drink the beer in the fridge downstairs, didn’t your dad say we were allowed to?”
Howard was an executive for a local brewery, and in turn, always had access to a stupid amount of beer, tucked away in a fridge downstairs that he’d given you both express permission to take from for the night, along with the promise of drinking responsibly.
“I’m not drinking beer all night, besides, Erik already agreed to drop us off, not that big of a deal for him to stop and get us a bottle of vodka or something.”
You didn’t realise you’d already had a lift organised, assuming that you’d either walk or get picked up by somebody else in attendance, but you weren’t complaining, the boots you were wearing with this outfit certainly weren’t made for walking.
“Can you go ask him, please? I have to finish doing my hair.” Julia mused, her eyes not turning away from the mirror as she plugged in her curling iron.
Rolling your eyes, you nodded, walking out of her bedroom and taking the eight steps down the hallway to bring yourself to Erik’s closed door, a sign reading “KEEP OUT.” greeting you.
Rapping your fist on the door, you heard shuffling for a few moments, footsteps getting closer before the door finally opened, Erik’s grumpy face awaiting you.
His expression shifted rather quickly when he saw your outfit, his brows furrowing and his lip curling in a look that read nothing but judgement.
“Seriously?” he breathed with a scoff, his response making you cross your arms and feel just a tad bit more self conscious.
“Julia made me wear it.”
Your reasoning seemed to leave him unconvinced as he leaned on the door frame.
“Yeah, well, it looks like it’s missing some fabric.” he spoke, reaching forward to pull softly at one of the sleeves, bringing it up to try and cover more of you. “You’re not gonna wear a jacket or anything?”
His voice held the slightest bit of concern, but you brushed it off with a sigh, tapping your foot impatiently against the hardwood floor.
“Can you buy us a bottle of vodka?” you asked, only for Erik’s brows to furrow just as the sound of Julia’s footsteps started to come in behind you.
“Pleeaasee!” she begged, a bottle of beer in each hand, one of which she promptly handed to you, which you took a tip of and curled your face up in a cringed expression, made sense why she didn’t wanna drink this all night.
“Dad gave you permission to drink from the fridge didn’t he? so why is it my problem?”
Julia let out a groan, hand reaching into her purse as she ruffled around and eventually pulled out a fifty dollar bill which she passed over your shoulder and held out to her brother.
“You can keep the change, just please, I can't drink this shit all night.”
As the pair of you stood in front of Erik, making a show of making puppy dog eyes at him, he seemed unconvinced until he took another look over at you, his expression changing just the slightest when he looked down at you, only to sigh and take the bill from his sisters hand, signalling that he agreed.
-
Pulling up to the house, you and Julia sat in the backseat of Erik’s car, multicoloured lights in the windows and music already blaring out.
Julia’s hand in your own, you opened the door and crawled out of the car, almost tripping over as you exited, only eliciting loud laughter from you and Julia, already a little bit tipsy off the vodka you’d both been taking turns sipping at.
Turning back to face the car, you both waved at Erik as you stumbled onto the sidewalk, leaning in each other.
“Thanks Erik, we love you!” Julia yelled, resting a hand on your shoulder.
“Alright, Just be careful! Ok?” he yelled out to the pair of you, taking one final look at you before he pulled away and drove away, leaving you and Julia to your party.
The night consisted of the usual shenanigans, jell-o shots and dancing to shitty music, far too many drunken selfies taken in your costumes as you and Julia celebrated your last Halloween as highschool students.
It was coming around to almost one in the morning when you were letting one of the guys from your science class suck on your neck, pushed against a wall outside and giggling to yourself as his hands gripped your hips.
It wasn’t anything special, just a drunken make out at a party as was the usual, letting out soft exhales and moans as you ran your fingers through his stubble.
Julia and you had been separated when she’d pulled you aside to tell you she was going to say hi to the girl she’d been texting with, also known as, i’m going to go make out in the bathroom with this girl, which you had no problem with.
Just as the boy from your science class hands began to wander, you heard your name being called out, your head turning to look in the direction of Julia drunkenly calling out for you.
Pushing him off of you, you laughed softly at his insulted look, putting a hand flat on his chest as you wished him a good night and walked away, going on the direction that Julia’s voice was coming from.
While it initially took a little bit searching, you eventually found where she was standing by the back door, your arms outstretching and a wide smile on your face when you spotted each other.
Grinning like a pair of idiots, you used each other as support as you walked back through the house, more than intent on heading home for night, knowing exactly who you would be calling to drive you.
As the pair of you sat on the sidewalk, now shivering in the october weather but not seeming to have a care in the world, you wheezed as you watched Julia struggling to get out her phone, paired with a sloppy attempt at tapping Erik’s name in the contacts.
Listening to the phone ring, Julia’s head found its place comfortably on your shoulder, the two of you swaying softly as you waited for her brother to pick up the phone.
You knew Erik wouldn’t have been asleep by now, he’d always been a night owl for as long as you’d known him, even now that he worked full time at the tattoo shop, so it was hardly surprising when he picked up relatively quickly, sounding wide awake.
“What is it?”
His annoyed voice only made you and Julia snicker, the state you were both in making everything seem hilarious, especially when it was coming from her older brother.
“Erikkkk…” Julia spoke in a little sing song voice, making you laugh even harder in a way that made you feel like you couldn’t even breathe properly.
“Come pick us up!” you continued for Julia, leaning towards the phone to make sure the receiver could pick up your voice. “It’s cold and we’re drunk!”
Initially you could hear an audibly annoyed sign coming from the phone, but it seemed Erik knew better than to try and say no, especially considering that he’d been explicitly told by Howard to pick the two of you up if you rang.
“I’ll be there in ten.” he spoke, “I swear to god if either of you vomit in my car, I’ll kill you.”
His warning was ignored, only a resounding cheer from you and Julia as you watched her try to hang up the phone sloppily.
“I can’t hang up, you do it.” she said through her laughter, handing the phone to you.
“Love you, Erik.” you slurred slightly, a giggle leaving your throat as you hung up the phone.
He said he’d be there in ten, but he made it in eight.
Helping Julia into the car first, when he turned to help you, his eyes drifted to your neck immediately, focusing in on the purple marks along your skin, seeming to visibly stiffen and take in a sharp breath when he saw them.
Too drunk to notice or care, you just let him help you into the car and laid your head against Julia’s shoulder, the pair of you smiling like idiots and occasionally giggling to yourselves as Erik drove you home silently, seeming slightly more ticked off than you would have expected.
When you finally arrived home, Julia had managed to get out of the car without too much of a struggle and make her way back inside, leaving Erik to help guide you up the path to the front door, his hand resting on your back.
As you tried your hardest to sneak back inside the house quietly even with your inebriated state, you expected Erik to find the sight of you this drunk to be more amusing, yet when you looked at him as you laughed, his face was stone cold, his eyes straight ahead.
It made the smile fall off of your face as you finally made it to the guest room, turning to look up at him as you stood in the doorway, grabbing his upper arm when he went to try turning and walking away without a word.
When you’d grabbed him, he turned, but he didn’t look at you, keeping his eyes trained in the ground as he stood there.
“What is it?” you asked, stepping closer and using the hand on his upper arm to try and rub his shoulder comfortingly. “I’m sorry, we shouldn’t have called you, we just didn’t wanna walk home and-“
“It’s not that.” he interrupted, finally looking down at you, his eyes once again going to the marks across your neck, clearly showing what he was annoyed about yet not saying a word.
Furrowing your brows, you were confused, he was clearly annoyed about something yet he wasn’t even willing to explain himself? that wasn’t your problem.
“If you’re not gonna tell me what’s wrong, then how am i supposed to fix it?”
Your hand reached up to grip his chin between your thumb and your index finger, forcing him to look at you, offering up a smile in the hopes of him actually explaining rather than just brooding.
He was twenty three now, his face had taken on just a little bit of stubble and he’d cut his hair a bit shorter from when you met him, now that he was working at the tattoo studio, he’d gotten his ears pierced, the thick rings hanging from his lobes.
When he’d mentioned wanting to get his septum pierced, you disagreed, but you had a feeling he was planning on doing it anyway.
You weren’t entirely sure why you did it, maybe it was the alcohol, or the leftover adrenaline from making out with a stranger, but you got on your tippy toes and put a hand on Erik’s cheek, capturing his lips in a kiss that had him letting out a small sound of shock.
Any second now, he was gonna push you away, let you down easily and let you live out the embarrassment of kissing your best friend's brother.
Until he didn’t, instead, Erik’s hands were immediately on your hips, pushing you into the guest room and pushing the door closed as he did.
His face was warm, his cheeks seeming to be burning up as you both held your eyes shut and let a sloppy make out begin to take place, just as you had been doing before, except as opposed to the boy from your science class, Erik seemed to know exactly what he was doing.
His hands squeezed your hips tightly, his tongue immediately pushing its way into your mouth without hesitation.
You felt like your nerves were on fire as he pushed you against the wall, holding you against it with a strength that only made you want more of him, desperately.
It had seemed that your hand guiding itself down his body before finally running your fingers along the hard tent in his jeans had only resulted in the harsh reality of the situation coming crashing back down on the pair of you.
Where you were, who you were currently kissing, as well as who you were.
Never before had you ever seen Erik pull away so quickly, taking a step back and looking at you, taking in the sight before him of you panting with swollen lips in your skimpy little halloween costume.
Shaking his head, he took another step away from you, a hand coming to wipe his face as he turned for the door.
He didn’t say anything when he left, opening the door and walking out, closing it behind him as you listened to his footsteps getting quieter and quieter as he walked away and back upstairs to his room.
As you stood there, it dawned on you that you had absolutely no clue why you’d done that, maybe you were just still too drunk to realise why kissing your best friends older brother was a really fucking bad idea.
Even more so, you had no idea why the rejection had stung as much as it had, tears beginning to prick at your eyes as you took in a shaky breath and started to rip off the costume that was now feeling more constricting than anything else.
He didn’t talk to you the next morning, wouldn’t even look at you when he walked into the kitchen for breakfast with the rest of the family, just grabbed a juice out of the fridge and went back to his room.
Your brain was swimming with the possibilities of what he must be thinking of you, who gets that drunk and kisses someone’s brother with no fear of the repercussions, did he think you were a slut?
For some reason, the thought that he felt that way about you just made you even more upset.
Life continued on after that halloween, you and Julia’s friendship stayed the same, and eventually both you and Erik just continued on as you always had, electing to both ignore the kiss as if it had never happened.
You never spoke about it, and seemingly had no intention to.
Julia started at college, you didn’t, but even as Julia’s free time dwindled, you were still around at the Campbell’s house fairly often, even if it wasn’t for sleepovers anymore.
As often as her schedule would let you, you and Julia still spent time together as often as possible, oftentimes meeting her on campus to have lunch together, or even just to sit with her while she studied in the library, even if it meant sitting on your phone in silence.
Initially, the closest you and Erik ever got to addressing what happened was an awkward smile when the two of you crossed paths in the house, but eventually, things returned to the way they were, a comfortable friendship was reestablished between the two of you, which allowed for matches of Mortal Kombat to become a common past time while you waited for Julia to finish classes for the day, or even messaging him to ask for a lift when he finished work when you were going to visit Julia at the house.
You even let him pierce you a few more times, unable to hide your expression when you’d walked into the shop, only to see he’d gone ahead and gotten his septum pierced.
“I thought I was gonna hate it.” you mused as he got his supplies ready, marking up the other end of your nose to prepare you for getting your other nostril done.
“Does that mean you like it?” he asked with a laugh, the two of you now more than used to this routine to just talk casually while he lined up the needle.
“No I- jesus, ow. No, I don’t.”
You tried not to scrunch your nose as he pushed the jewellery in, holding the mirror up to look at the two perfectly lined up matching studs now sitting on your nose.
“Too bad, it’s not going anywhere.” he shrugged his shoulders, rolling away in his chair and taking off the black latex gloves he’d been wearing.
“I thought you thrived off my approval.” you spoke sarcastically, tilting your head as you stood, swinging your bag over your shoulder.
“Oh I do, I just don’t care.”
His response incited a laugh from you, rolling your eyes as you reached for your purse, opening it and beginning to rifle through the bills sitting inside.
“Don’t worry about it.” Erik spoke, waving his hand at you as he began to clean off the chair and prepare for the next client.
“Erik, I can’t not pay you, won’t you get in the shit with your boss?”
Struggling his shoulders, he continued laying out his tattoo supplies, wrapping the gun as he spoke.
“Call it an early birthday present.”
Part of you was touched that he remembered your birthday was coming up soon, but considering that Julia had probably already been talking about it, you suddenly weren’t surprised.
Letting out a stubborn sigh, you just shook your head and put your purse back in your bag, turning to walk out.
“Thaaaanks Erik.”
Ever since he’d given you your first piercing, it just became the norm to always give him the same thank you in the same sing-song tone.
You weren’t teenagers anymore, hell, Erik was turning twenty six in may, but even now, so many years later, neither of you wanted to address the unspoken ‘thing’ you two had, whatever you could call it.
Sometimes you could have sworn Julia knew, she always was more observant than she let on, and there was only so many times the glances shared between you and Erik were going to go left unnoticed.
You couldn’t pretend you hadn’t noticed the look he’d given you when he pierced your tongue for your twenty-first birthday, or how hard he’d gripped his coffee mug when he watched you cry to Julia over your boyfriend cheating on you.
It was pathetic really, to be crying in your best friends arms over a relationship that hadn’t even lasted a full year, but when you’d found the pictures on his phone of other girls, and the messages he’d been exchanging, it still wrecked you to what felt like the point of no return.
Julia seemed to save the i told you so’s and just let you cry it out in her arms in her bedroom, as much as she’d always hated your boyfriend, especially the way he treated you, she understood that right now you were in pain.
You weren’t concerned about Erik standing in the doorway, if anything, it was nice to have two people to vent to, especially when it was him who came and picked you up with Julia when you’d called her in tears.
“I found the photo’s on his fucking phone.” you sniffled, wiping your red and puffy eyes with you sleeves as Julia rubbed your back. “He’s been fucking other girls since we got together.”
Your voice broke as you finished your sentence, seeing Julia shaking her head out of the corner of your eye, Erik muttering something to himself that you couldn’t quite hear, but enough to understand he was pissed on your behalf.
“What a lowlife.” you heard Erik scoff, his comment bringing a soft laugh out of you surprisingly, nodding your head in agreement as you sniffled.
“I wish I was gay so that we could just be girlfriends.” you laughed through your tears, inciting a laugh out of Julia.
She held you in your arms and let you cry it out for the rest of that night, and even though Erik went back to his room, you could tell what had happened had upset him.
You’d gone to his room and knocked on the door later that night when you finally started to calm down, leaning in the door frame and offering a soft smile, as exhausted as you were.
“Thank you for coming to get me today.” you started when he looked up from his book, picking at your sleeve as you stood in his doorway.
“Of course,” he started, sitting up and putting his book to the side “Didn’t really want you spending another second at that assholes place.” he shrugged his shoulders, resting his elbows on his knees.
Nodding your head, you sniffled slightly and rubbed at your eye, willing any other tears away when Erik stood up from his bed.
“Hey, hey.” he said softly, his hands coming to rest on your shoulders, “Please don’t cry, especially not over someone like him. I hate seeing you cry.”
You let Erik pull you into his arms, not quite crying, but still shaking and shutting your eyes tightly.
“I just don’t know what I did wrong.” you whispered, Erik resting his chin on the top of your head as he rocked you softly.
“You didn’t do anything wrong.” he reassured you, simple yet effective, enough to have you nodding your head as he held you.
That was just over a year and a half ago, but it was still fresh in your mind.
As much as it was likely that the Campbell’s had something planned for your birthday, you decided you could find some comfort in your own company a few days before your birthday, maybe that was why you’d ended up in the bar in town, a cocktail nursed between your fingers as you watched a live band performing.
The bar was known for a more alternative crowd, fitting the bill for you anyway, and with the addition of live music for the night, it was a nice way to spend your free time.
It was reasonably packed for the show, taking you at least five minutes just to travel from one end to the other after getting your drink, needing to weave through people before you’d ended up in your comfortable little corner by one of the pillars.
When you’d been approached by the stranger, a smirk on his face and a confidence that you initially found off putting, his not very subtle flirting and willingness to playfully persevere despite your cold response, eventually he went from annoying to endearing.
You talked about all the basic topics, music, movies, anything really; he was very clearly just biding his time until you agreed to let him stick his tongue down your throat, which lucky for him, you eventually caved and let him.
What was a little pre birthday make out with a stranger after all.
He had you with your back against the pillar as he kissed you softly, a smile present on both of your lips as his hands found their way to your hips and yours became tangled in his hair.
It was really only by chance that your eyes had begun to scan the bar when he started to kiss along your jawline, your head turning to allow him access and your eyes opening lazily.
Fuck. Oh fuck.
There he was, leaning against the bar, a beer having been long forgotten in his hand, presently staring absolute daggers at the pair of you.
Erik’s glare wasn’t necessarily focused on you as it was on the guy that was presently all over you.
You were so sick of this, so tired of pretending that you never stopped thinking about the kiss you’d shared so many years ago on halloween, sick of the way he looked at you and just let the two of you pretend that there was nothing there purely just because he was your best friend's brother.
The eye contact you made with him was pointed, your mouth falling open in a gasp as a particularly sweet spot in between your neck and your jaw was caught between the strangers lips, yet you kept your eyes on Erik, who looked straight back at you.
Even from the distance, you could see him gripping his beer bottle just a little tighter, like he knew exactly what you were doing.
There wasn’t any room to pretend, you even let a few little soft moans leave you as you shut your eyes again, turning back to face the stranger again and kiss him in a way that was entirely just for show, hoping to incite some sort of jealous rage within Erik, so that might stop pretending and actually just take the plunge.
So many years spent pretending like you hadn’t developed something for him that extended beyond the reaches of just being friends, the tears you’d cried after he left the room on halloween, the way that you’d closed your eyes and wished it was him when your first real boyfriend took your virginity.
And yet, just as you’d feared, he did nothing.
Pushing the stranger off of you, you felt a pang in your heart, refusing to even speak a word in response to his questioning as to why you’d stopped, even when he’d called you a “fuckin’ tease.” as you walked away, pushing your way through the crowd and headed for the door.
The night air was cold, tears pricked at your eyes but you ignored them, only pulled your jacket closer to your body and began taking steps away from the bar and onto the sidewalk.
You didn’t even want to believe that you were hearing the sound of the bar door opening, your name being called and accompanied by fast footsteps; it wasn’t until a hand grabbed your shoulder and you were forced to turn and look at the perpetrator that you were face to face with those same icy blue eyes looking down at you.
“What the fuck was that?” he asked, his tone accusatory as if he didn’t know exactly what was happening back there in the bar, the way you were begging for him in every single way other than verbally.
“I’m tired of doing this, Erik.” you spoke, running a hand over your face as the two of you stood there in the cold.
“What are you talking about?” he asked, shaking his head in disbelief.
“You know exactly what i’m talking about.” you started, “are we just going to dance around this forever? pretend like it doesn’t exist? pretend that whenever i hear about you having some new little girlfriend for the week that i don’t die a little bit inside?”
By the way his face began to shift, you knew that he was well aware of what you meant, seemingly unable to find the words to say as he opened his mouth to speak, only for nothing to come out.
“We can’t.” was all he said when he finally spoke, his eyes remaining trained on you, hands staying stuck at his sides.
Your face contorted, a deep sigh leaving your lips as you shook your head, trying so hard to fight the way that your bottom lip was starting to wobble.
“We could.” you countered, bringing your hands to your pockets. “But you’re just a coward.”
You knew you didn’t mean that, but the pain in your chest was bringing fourth emotion that you’d had no way of getting out until now, so many things you’d wanted to say but never got the chance to.
Part of you wanted him to chase you, run after you calling your name like in the movies, but he didn’t, he just let you walk away, like he always did.
You’d regretted what you said as soon as you turned and walked away, feeling yourself already starting to sob quietly to yourself, wiping the tears from your eyes with your sleeve.
After that night, you hadn’t been round to the Campbell house for days, Julia had messaged you when she was free, offering to come and get you so that you could hang out, but you just lied through your teeth and told her you were busy.
It hurt to treat your best friend this way, but you were just too torn up to care, the risk of seeing Erik and having any chance of an interaction with him was just too much, more than you were willing to take.
Just as before, you were certain Julia had some idea as to what was going on, when you’d spoken to her on the phone and you’d said you weren’t feeling too good, she sounded too knowing for her own good when she said goodbye, like she had something she needed to go do, she sounded determined.
You just went to work and came home, the next three days being a slow moving blur of feeling nothing and then the next minute feeling everything.
It was exhausting pretending for so many years that you hadn’t felt the way that you did about Erik, pushing it down and acting normal.
Of course you had thought about how it would affect your friendship with Julia, it was one of only things you thought about every time Erik crawled his way into your thoughts, the potential for such a betrayal made you feel ill, but then the other part of you, the part that had known Julia for almost six years at this point, wondered if she would have accepted it, embraced it even.
Just as you were thinking of her, your phone began to buzz next to you on your bed, ripping you out of your thoughts and seeing the image of a photo you and Julia had taken together at a party as her contact floated above it.
With a sigh, you swiped to answer the call and put the phone to your ear, Julia’s voice immediately coming through.
“Happy Birthday!” she cheered, your brows scrunching together as you realised that you’d just forgotten your own birthday entirely.
“Holy shit.” you laughed softly, rubbing your eye as you sat up. “I didn’t even realise, I forgot my own birthday.”
Her laughter rang through, unable to stop a smile coming across your features no matter how hard you tried.
“When are you coming around? we got a cake for you and everything, well, mom did at least.” she explained, causing you to look over to your clock and see it was already one in the afternoon. Jesus.
“Uh, i’ll be around in like twenty, just let me have a shower.” you responded, standing up and reaching for the towel hanging on your door.
“Do you want me to ask Erik to come get you?”
The mention of his name had you stiffening up, the grip on your phone getting tighter as you walked into the bathroom.
“No.” you said flatly, only to correct yourself “I mean, i think i’ll just walk, i need the fresh air.”
Seemingly satisfied with your answer, Julie said goodbye and hung up the call, letting you turn the faucet and get the shower going.
-
The Campbell’s family home was always welcoming, even just walking in, it always felt warm, that was something you couldn’t deny.
It spoke volumes that they’d organised a birthday celebration for you, the only people that ever did, having not spoken to your mother since you graduated, it seemed they were the only family you had left.
When you’d walked around to the backyard, Julia was the first person to spot you, running to you with open arms and birthday wishes, pulling you in for a tight hug.
“You need to talk to Erik, he’s miserable.” she whispered to you as she hugged you, ignoring your confused face when she pulled away and took your hand, guiding you to where the rest of the family were.
Choosing not to address what she had said, you let yourself accept hugs and birthday wishes from Bobby, saying your hello’s to Howard and receiving a kiss on the cheek from Brenda.
You and Erik didn’t even look at each other.
He was sat on one of the outside chairs, nursing a beer which he took occasional sips at, staring at it like it was the most interesting thing in the world.
It was obvious to everybody around you that you were seemingly giving one another the silent treatment, yet they didn’t say anything, just allowed the festivities to continue as Howard worked at the grill and Julia handed you a white claw.
However you managed it, you’d been able to spend almost your entire birthday celebration without saying a word to Erik, even when Bobby and Julia had handed you a present that was labelled to have come from all three Campbell siblings, he still stood at a distance, talking to his dad or sulking a few meters away.
You knew completely that it was immature, to put this much effort into not even talking to him purely due to rejection, but the other part of you, that eighteen year old girl that cried herself to sleep after the boy she liked kissed her and ran out of the room? she was still there, and she was hurt.
By the time it all started to wrap up, Julia had already convinced you to stay the night, even if you were hesitant, she seemed adamant, giving you a look that seemed to imply that she knew exactly why you’d been acting so miserable, especially considering what she’d said to you when you’d arrived.
Wishing your goodnights to Howard and Brenda, you helped Bobby clean up while Julia packed up the leftovers, and yet during this entire time, Erik still sat outside, now nursing a cigarette between his fingers as she sat on the porch swing.
At first, you were going to turn around and go to bed, let him wallow out there and regret what was literally his decision in the first place, but when you turned, you came face to face with Julia, who had a brow quirked as she looked at you.
“Get out there,” she spoke with a hushed tone, pointing to the back door “and talk to him.”
You wanted to argue against it, really you did, but just as it had always been and will continue to be, there was no arguing with Julia.
Stepping out into the backyard that was now only lit up by garden lights, you could see Erik in the distance, the small orange glow on his cigarette lighting up his face as he inhaled.
Without saying a word, you came and sat down next to him, keeping your eyes forward as he did the same, the pair of you being too stubborn to speak at first.
As the silence grew, you huffed and crossed your arms, looking out at the garden that Brenda was so proud of.
“Julia told me to come out here and talk to you.” you finally broke, unable to stand just sitting there in the overwhelming tension any longer.
“She told *me* to talk to *you*.”
Erik’s response made you exhale out of your nose in a sort of soft laugh, at least only as much as you could laugh in that moment; it just made perfect sense that eventually Julia caught on to what was happening between you, it was bound to happen.
“I had a feeling she figured it out.” you mentioned, only for Erik to nod his head.
“She knew when i came home after the bar, said i looked like a kicked puppy.” he mused, a soft smile now falling across his features as he turned his head to look at you for the first time since you’d sat down next to him.
“I’m sorry.”
Your apology had him shaking his head and sighing.
“I’m the one that should be sorry. That wasn’t fair.”
“Which part, kissing me and then pretending it never happened? or friendzoning me for almost four years straight?”
It was crazy just how quickly the tension between you melted away when you finally started talking. Letting it boil in silence had probably been the least wise course of action, but you were anything if not stubborn.
“Both I guess?”
Letting out a small laugh, you let him continue.
“I’m not sorry about pulling away on halloween though, you were drunk, i wasn’t about to be the monster that screwed his little sisters shitfaced best friend.”
Seeming to let the last bit of tension fade away, he turned to face you completely, resting his elbow on the back on the porch swing.
“Even if she really wanted you to.” you said softly with a laugh, acknowledging that was the easy part, of course it had been a smart thing to do, considering Julia probably would have killed him if that were to have happened.
“Especially if she really wanted me to, of course you’d have to be drunk to wanna kiss this face.” he joked, pointing to his face with his index finger.
Shaking your head, you ran your hand along his arm that was resting in the backrest, furrowing your brows.
“I don’t know about that, i’m pretty sober.” you replied lazily, tilting your head as you smiled at each other “I still wouldn’t say no to a kiss if you’re offering.”
That seemed to add another layer of realism to it all, the reminder of who you both were, and the connection between you.
Julia had seemed to make it clear that you had her blessing, why else would she order you outside to talk to her brother, when she seemed to already know exactly what was happening when Erik had come home from the bar that night.
It was the sudden realisation that right here, right now, there was absolutely nothing stopping you anymore, that you’d effectively been given the green light.
So when that smile on Erik’s face only grew, it seemed like a knee jerk reaction as you both leaned in, hands coming to rest on each others cheeks as for the first time in almost four years, you laid a kiss against Erik’s lips, at least one that was going to be reciprocated without question.
Would it have cliche to say that it truly did feel like fireworks going off in your chest? like his fingertips were made of lightning as they rested against your neck, the thickly feeling of his facial hair not bothering you in the slightest.
God, he smelled like cigarettes and cheap cologne, but in the best way possible, just the same as he’d smelled when you first kissed him when you were eighteen, like nothing had changed at all since then.
But that was definitely a lie. Four years was a long time, a lot can happen in that time, lots of life to be experienced, and you were a very different person when compared to the version of yourself who was only just on the brink of graduating.
At first it felt like being stuck in this weird sort of limbo, you just kissed him softly like he was going to be spooked and run away like last time, some small part of your brain fearing it was going to happen all over again; yet when his hands fell to your waist and pulled you in closer, it felt like confirmation that he wasn’t planning on letting you go anywhere.
Finally breaking for air, you kept your foreheads connected, soft pants against each others lips while the pair of you just sat there and took one another in.
“Julia’s gonna kill us.” Erik breathed out with a soft laugh, the mention of it suddenly making you pull away and turn your head in the direction of the house.
As you both turned your attention back to the kitchen window, the sight of two heads quickly ducking out of view made it pretty clear that both of Erik’s siblings had been watching from a distance, seemingly to make sure everything went down smoothly.
Shaking your head, you turned back to Erik with a smile, your arms coming to wrap about his neck.
“Something tells me she had this all planned out from the beginning.” you spoke, just about to lean in to capture another kiss from Erik’s lips before his attention was caught by something around your neck, his hand coming up to wrap his fingers around the claire’s skull and cross bone necklace him and Bobby had gotten you almost five years ago now, which had now fallen out of its place hidden under your shirt.
He ran his thumb over the worn down metal, most of the details almost unrecognisable after so many years of wear, his smile growing as he chuckled.
“I can’t believe you still wear this thing.” he sighed, his eyes looking back up at you; his smirk definitely seemed to reveal that there was at least some small bit of satisfaction on his part, knowing you walked around with a necklace he got you around your neck.
“My ex hated it.” you laughed, leaning forward to east your forehead on his shoulder to try and shield the blush now steadily starting to form on your cheeks. “He told me it was weird to wear a necklace that my friend's brother got me, I think he was jealous of you?”
You heard Erik scoff, pulling away to see him rolling his eyes. “I literally met him once and he acted like he was ready to fight me any second, stupid.” he muttered the last part, only to lean forward and steal another kiss from you.
“Maybe he had a reason to feel threatened after all.” you spoke against his lips, allowing yourself to just sit back and enjoy the feeling of having your lips and face peppered with long overdue kisses.
“Mhm, maybe.” he laughed, bringing your face forward to lay a kiss on your forehead, letting you shut your eyes and melt into the feeling of him wrapping his arms around you and holding you there in a hug.
“He’d feel even worse if he knew what i’m gonna do to do as soon as we get back upstairs and in my room though.”
His sudden boldness had your head flying back, looking across at him as your face shifted from a look of shock, into an expression that resembled the exact image of a horned up teenager, biting your lip and leaning forward to put a hand on his jean clad thigh.
Quirking an eyebrow at you, he let his hands squeeze your waist just a little bit tighter, his voice taking on a deeper and slightly more serious tone.
“You really shouldn’t have tried so hard to make me jealous back in the bar the other day.” he started, pulling you up with him as he stood, his grip on you tight like a vice. “Cause now i’m gonna do exactly what i wanted to do when i had to sit there and watch that fucker throw himself all over you.”
Without any other word exchanged, the pair of you were walking back into the house, hands gripped together.
The lights in the kitchen had been turned off by the time you made your way back inside, the rest of the Campbell’s seemingly excusing themselves into their respective rooms to go to sleep, providing a quick and easy uninterrupted party back up to Erik’s room.
It would have been a lie to say it didn’t feel like an adrenaline rush to practically be sneaking into his bedroom quietly, something you’d definitely thought about on more than one occasion, the thrill that would have come with sneaking around with your best friend's brother.
As much as she must have known exactly what she was doing, there was still some mischievous undertone to it all as Erik shut his bedroom door quietly and turned to face you.
With only his lamp illuminating the bedroom, it was dim but still light enough to make out his face clearly, even more so when he took the few small steps across the carpeted floor to now stand in front of you, looking down at you like you were something to be devoured.
“Do you have any idea how hard I jerked my cock when you left for that halloween party? When I watched you get out of my car in that outfit?”
His voice was rugged and deep, already resulting in your body starting to have a physical reaction, shivering as he stood over you, not too unlike the big bad wolf to your little red riding hood.
Biting your lip, you let your hand reach forward to trace your index finger over his belt buckle, watching him take in a sharp breath.
“Is this a good time to tell you it still fits?” you asked, tilting your head and doing your very best to look up at him with the innocent puppy dog eyes that you already knew drove him wild.
The sound he let out could truly not be described as anything other than a growl, a deep rumble from deep within his chest that had a shiver running along your spine.
Without another word, Erik leaned down to capture you in another kiss, except this was unlike the soft pecks you’d exchanged in the garden, this kiss was hungry, not too unlike the one you’d exchanged on halloween, you could tell from the way he began to grab at you that he was just as desperate as you were.
This was years of buildup now seeming to come spilling over, like the lid had well and truly been blown off and now it was all coming out in a wave, sexual frustration and jealousy for someone that you hadn’t even dated.
His hands molded to your body like they knew it instantly, knowing exactly where to hold you and where the little spots were that made you let out those little sounds that were like music to his ears.
Guiding you to the bed had been easy work, and when the backs of your knees touched it, he shoved you down before you could sit, landing on your back with a soft “Oomph!”
Standing above you now, you could only watch as Erik looked down at you, watch as he reached down to lazily pull at his belt until it became undone, unbuttoning his jeans and letting them sit open and undone around his hips before he kneeled on the bed.
The moment his hands were back on you again, running up your sides and coming to your chest, he didn’t seem shy or hesitant in the slightest, squeezing at one of your tits with no shame, running his thumb back and forth over your peaked nipple through the fabric of your shirt.
Letting out a small whimper, your hands came to shield yourself out of instinct, only to be met with a sudden and harsh resistance in the form of Erik’s free hand gripping your wrist and wrenching it away from yourself.
“Don’t try it.” he warned.
This was a version of Erik you hadn’t seen first hand, you’d always known him as sweet and caring towards you, but there were definitely times where you could see something behind his eyes when he looked at you.
You’d seen it in the bar when he glared, the darkness that overtook his entire being. It would have been a lie if you said it wasn’t a thrill.
As if it was bringing something out of you as well, you couldn’t stop the way you looked up at him, the puppy dog eyes seeming like a completely natural reflex as you couldn’t fight the whimper that came out of you when he gripped your wrist so hard it almost hurt.
There seemed to be something unspoken between the pair of you over those years of pretending you didn’t want each other, something extended beyond feelings and presented itself as more of just this feeling that neither of you could doubt, this understanding that when the pair of you came together, there was going to be flames.
The hand that wasn’t gripping your wrist continued to touch you, pinching your nipple between his index finger and thumb, twisting slightly just to look down at the way you whimpered, letting yourself surrender to the headspace completely.
As you tried to turn your body away, be just wrenched you back to face him even harder, his free hand coming to grab your face and force you to look up at him, squeezing your cheeks so hard your lips pressed together like a fish.
“You’re really gonna be like that?” he breathed with a soft laugh, like he didn’t take you seriously as tall, almost like your attempts to pull away from him were entirely in vain.
It’d had never been like this with old boyfriends, missionary where you’d laid there like a goldfish and let them finish up, or even when they’d pathetically beg you suck their dicks; No, there was something playing within you that wanted Erik fired up, like getting him annoyed was all part of the fun.
Trying to pull your wrist away from his grip, even if it was futile, you let out a small grumble, looking up at him in a way that more than put across the attitude you were purposely giving him, like you knew exactly what you were doing.
“Be like that if you want Princess, works for me.” he spoke lowly leaning in to look down at you in a way that just read as “you asked for this.”
Without another warning, Erik’s hand was disappearing up your skirt, his fingers starting to rub up and down your panties with little to no mercy or warning, your mouth opening to let out a sound only to be promptly stopped by Erik’s other hand clamping over your mouth.
His fingers were skilled, running along your fabric covered slit with a precision that was above what you even thought possible for a guy, like he knew exactly where to touch you in a way that immediately had you whining against his hand.
It didn’t take long for your panties to be pushed aside only to make room for his fingers to start gliding through your wetness, promptly soaking his hand as you tried to close your legs out of reflex, only to clamp down on either sides of him, using his body to keep you open for him.
“Fuck, you’re soaked.” he mused, a dry laugh leaving his lips as he looked down at you, once again giving you no warning as he pushed two fingers straight inside you, gifting you no patience on his part as he wasted no time pushing them inside you up to the knuckle.
Your muffled cry only served to egg him on further, the feeling of your hips trying to pull away from his fingers and your back arching spurring on a slightly cruel smirk across his features.
“You’re that fucking wound up just from my fingers inside you? Seriously?” his tone was mocking at best, leaving you only able to look up at him with eyes that were starting to grow misty as he fucked you with his fingers at a pace that almost hurt, but in the best way conceivable.
God, it was almost embarrassing how much your body reacted to him, the sounds you were making against his hand purely from his touch, you were acting like a cock hungry slut, but it seemed that it was exactly how Erik wanted you, especially when he ripped his fingers out of you out of nowhere with seemingly no warning, the pathetic sound you made at the absence that left you clenching around nothing.
He lifted his fingers up so that they were held right in your face, the sticky mess on his fingers glistening as he spread his fingers to show it off.
“Look at that..” he breathed, letting out an exhaled chuckle as he stared at it like he was almost in a trance, only to open his mouth and suck your mess off of his fingers with the most atrociously sloppy sound you’d ever heard, pulling them out of his mouth again and looking down at you. “Like fuckin’ honey.”
That image along was enough to have your whole body shivering, watching him slurp on his fingers, sucking your own essence off of them like it was the most delicious thing he’d ever tasted; where you legs had been attempting to close before hand, your own body began to betray you, your hips lifting off of the bed as you let out a desperate sound, chasing after his touch again.
Seeing your response to losing the feeling of him, Erik only seemed to find amusement from the way you were whimpering and trying to find any sort of relief, his solution being to bring his hand back down to your pussy, yet only letting his finger tips begin to ghost over your clit, hardly making any contact, nowhere near enough as far as you were concerned.
All you could do was let out sounds of protest, your hands desperately fighting to break free from where he was holding them down with only one hand, his strength and ability to overpower you being more than enough needed to keep you right where he wanted to.
“Whats wrong, princess..?” he cooed at you, mocking you as he kept his face close to yours, continuing his string of almost touching you as he waited to see how long it would take for you to break. “Something you want? You want me to touch you?”
With his hand still held over your mouth, it wasn’t exactly easy to verbalise your answer, but a whimper that came out sounding more like a rugged groan and the nodding of your head, all paired up with the desperation of your eyes that were blown out to the size of dinner plates, he seemed to understand the message clear enough.
Just as he’d done before, he gave you no warning when he plunged his fingers back inside you, fucking you with them with a starting pace that had your eye’s rolling back into your head, practically crying out into his hand the sudden jump from feeling barely anything to being heinously overstimulated, your brain was beginning to turn to mush, you were becoming putty in his fingers.
You’d always imagined it might be something like this to a degree, but fucking yourself with you fingers late and night and shutting your eyes pretending it was him was practically nothing when compared to what was happening right then and there, the knot in your stomach growing tighter and tighter as you felt yourself starting to go numb.
“You gonna cum?” he teased, “Gonna gush all over my fingers like a nasty little slut? Fuuuuck, look at you, you can’t even hear what im saying.”
He was correct of course, anything he was saying to you was coming out as white noise as you finally felt you body coming loose around him, pulsing around his fingers as you let out obscene muffled noises and felt your toes curling, swearing for a moment or two that you went blind on one eye.
You were still in a daze when his hand came off of your mouth, taking in a deep breath of air that you hadn’t even realised was being kept from you, silence except for the sound of your panting.
Numb to the world around you, you hardly even felt real for the first ten seconds of laying there, feeling a few soft kisses peppering your forehead accompanied by a hand on your cheek.
“Hey now, come back to me..” Erik’s soft voice rang out, a small laugh following after it, finally starting to come back down to reality to see him looking down at you like he thought that state he’d left you in was hilarious.
You couldn’t form words, but he seemed to realise your eyes were focusing back in on him, his thumb running along your cheek as he tilted his head.
“You okay?” he whispered, watching you let out a small hum and a nod, one of your shaky hands coming up to grip his shoulder, almost in an attempt to ground yourself.
When you gave him another nodded, the hand that was on your cheek proceeded to give it a soft encouraging pat, a smile remaing on Erik’s face as he sat back and gripped your hips.
“Can I fuck you princess? Is that what you want?”
His question had you biting your lip as you looked up at him, the way his hands rubbed the tops of thigh’s slowly and softly, his own little way of keeping you grounded and comforted, seeking out permission from you before he went any further, that was the Erik that had always taken care of you, even if from a respectful distance.
“Please..” was the first word you’d managed to get out, your voice slightly croaky but clear enough that he definitely understood, causing him to let out a low groan at just how pathetically you begged for it.
With the jeans that were already undone, it hadn’t taken him much effort to pull them down to his knees, his grey boxers leaving nothing to the imagination as you pushed yourself up on your elbows, your bottom lip being caught between your teeth as soon as you saw the length and size you were about to be working with.
The only way you could have been described in that moment was a bitch in heat, desperate and needy in a way that couldn’t be described in words.
Then as if you weren’t already cock hungry enough, even just from seeing the tattooed barb wire on his v-line, or the dark hair creepy out of the boxers and up towards his belly button; As he pulled himself out and lazily pumped himself, your mouth fell open, the whimper leaving your throat being so pathetic that you were almost ashamed.
Looking down at his own cock, Erik let out a throaty laugh, continuing to continued to slowly drag his hand up and down his shaft when he looked back up at you, realising what it was that had constituted the noise from you.
“You like it?” he teased, running his thumb over the top of the thick curved barbell, letting you stare at it for a few more seconds before he put a hand on your knee.
“You want it?” he asked, his hand gliding down to rest on your hip.
When you nodded, he smiled and lifted your hips, turning you over slowly so that your ass was up in the air, your cheek coming to rest snugly against the sheets as he placed his hand flat inbetween your shoulder blades to push your upper body down.
“That’s it, I’ve got you..” he reassured, his hand coming to glide over your ass cheek, admiring the view for a few sweet seconds, letting you enjoy the feeling of a soft touch against your skin, at least for a few seconds.
**THWACK**
You were lucky your face was in the sheets, otherwise the sound of you crying out would have been audible throughout the whole house, the sharp pain of Erik’s hand coming down to spank you barely even registering before he was sending another one down on your skin.
The kicking of your legs was futile, the whimpers leaving your throat seeming to produce little mercy from Erik as he let down one more harsh smack, just as you felt his tip starting to run up and down your entrance, the cold metal of his piercing making you jump.
“You gonna let me fuck this pussy? Huh?” he grunted, making a point to push just his tip inside you, barely even penetrating you to begin with. “Gonna let me fill it up with my cum? You gonna take it all?”
His words, along with the unbearable teasing, had you pushing your ass back against him, desperate for him to push himself deeper inside you, only for him to back away each time you tried to your dismay, a desperate whimper emerging from your throat each time.
“Pretty baby wants dick so bad..” he cooed, almost as if he genuinely felt sorry for you, but you both knew better, the more you were begging for him, the better it was.
Not as harshly as he had pushed his fingers inside you, Erik gripped your hips, pushing himself in at a fast enough speed that had you gasping, but didn’t hurt by any means, telling you that beneath the show he was putting on, he still was making sure not to hurt you, at least not in a way that you didn’t want him to.
Your gasp was quickly offset with a soft cry, your eyes squeezing shut as his cock invaded your insides, pushing through without resistance as your wetness let him glide inside fairly easily.
It was a little bit of a push before Erik finally sunk inside you completely, when his hips finally made contact with your ass, bottoming out with a deep groan that had him tipping his head back and shutting his eyes.
“Fuuuuck..” he groaned, you could feel the way his grip on your hips tightened, along with the way his cock twitched inside you; just as much as you could feel him fighting back his instinct to move, fighting back his desire to pound into you with no mercy until you were ready.
“Just..” he breathed “Tell me when I can start moving princess..”
The way he was able to switch back and forth between cruel and caring was just so painfully Erik, just as it always was with him, one minute he’d act like he was bothered by your very presence, then you’d give him those same puppy dog eyes and he’d be left unable to say no to you.
Turning your head and straining your neck to look back at him, your mouth hung open for a few moments as you let yourself finish getting used to the stretch, as well as the feeling of his piercing tickling right against that sweet spot inside you, every time he moved in the slightest it sent lighting through you, unable to hide your whimpers.
Opening your eyes back up, you gave him a nod, preparing yourself for what was no doubt going to be a brutal pace that he was about to set.
He started out slow, giving you a chance to make sure he wasn’t hurting you, gradually gathering up speed which only made your moans grow louder, giving you no choice but you let your face fall back against the sheets to make sure it was muffled, eventually he was pistoning inside you, a concentrated rhythm being followed as he gripped your hips so tightly it stung.
Risking a look back, you turned your head only to be greeted by the sight of Erik thrusting into you, staring down at the sight of himself coming in and out of you as his mouth hung open, low groans and grunts leaving his chest.
As if he had felt your eyes on him, Erik looked up, meeting your gaze which only seemed to stir him further, biting his lip as he leaned forward and reached to grab a fistful of your hair, forcing you to arch your back and stare up at the wall, letting him fuck you so hard no sound was even coming out of you anymore, just leaving your mouth hanging open and your eyes rolling into the back of your skull.
“Thaaaats it.. fucking take it like a dirty fucking cockslut…” his words sounded just as desperate as you had previously, breathed out and slightly higher pitched in a way that told you he was feeling it all just as much as you were. “Fuck, fuck, wanted to have you like this for so long… wanted you on my bed spread out just like this..”
Memories of touching yourself just to the very idea of something like this happening came flooding in, laying there in your bed back at home and closing your eyes and picturing Erik in your head, wondering if he ever thought about you in the way you thought about him.
Now here you were getting confirmation that he’d wanted you for just as long as you’d wanted him, years of frustration and pining finally being thrown out of the window as you were actually there, bent over for him and letting him fuck you like a whore, pent up urges years in the making fuelling the way he jack hammered into you.
“Shit.. turn over..” he grunted, pulling out of you and gripping your shoulder in his hand to flip you onto your back before you could even compute what he was asking you. “Need to see those eyes..”
Letting Erik manhandle you into whatever position he wanted, you couldn’t stop yourself from lifting your head to get a glimpse of him lining himself back up, unable to stop your legs from shivering and your mouth falling open with a whine when you pushed his cock back inside you.
Bringing you gaze back up to where he was kneeling above you, you stared into each others eyes, making a point to put on those same puppy dog eyes that got him every time, feeling him begin to fuck you noticeably harder when you looked up at him.
“Fuck.. yes.. look at me..” he groaned, his hands coming to rest on the backs of your knees, pushing to where your knees were almost touching your shoulders, folding you in a way that allowed for a whole new angle, unable to hide the way your face contorted and your brows turned upwards.
Your head tipped back, soft cries being the only sound you were capable of making anymore, so completely and totally fucked out to the point that you could hardly even form any proper thoughts.
A hand came to rest on your cheek, your head coming forward and your eyes opening again to see Erik looking right in the verge himself just as you were, his eyes staring down at you intensely as he seemed to be chasing your gaze.
“Please don’t stop looking at me..” he begged, the dominant nature he had taken on previously becoming replaced by the unbearable urge to cum, chasing his release desperately.
The way you were gripping at each other, your hands coming up to rest on either side of his face, you silence each other in the form of a kiss, Erik’s moans into your mouth seeming to be exactly what was needed to push you over the edge, wrapping your arms around his neck as you cried out, tucking your face in his neck as you began to pulse, soaking his dick and squeezing it tightly in a way that had his thrusts turning shallow, barely even pulling out of you before he was pushing back in.
Your hand found its way to the back of his head, tangling your fingers into the tufts of dark hair and gripping whatever you could as you practically sobbed against his shoulder, your legs shaking as your pussy squeezed him.
Pulling on his hair and cumming around his cock proved to be exactly what was needed to push Erik over the edge he’d been chasing, feeling his thrusts stiffen and stop and start randomly as he painted your walls with cum, starting to leak out of you already.
His moans we’re high pitched, his hips going from ramming against your own to softly and slowly rolling deeply, riding out his orgasm bit by bit as you felt his body starting to give way, letting him collapse on top of you and into your arms.
Each time his hips moved again the slightest bit, you whimpered, gripping his hair again and squeezing his hips with your legs, still highly sensitive from the way he’d been mercilessly fucking you only moments ago.
You had no idea how long you both laid there on his bed, letting his thick cum leak out of you as he sat inside you, resting his forehead on your chest and panting deeply, trying to come down from his high before you both felt even semi conscious again.
When it finally felt real again, like you had floated back down into your physical bodies once again, you looked at Erik and couldn’t fight back the smile that made its way onto your features, apparently contagious as Erik let out a soft laugh and leaned forward to capture your lips in a soft kiss, the sudden movement making you whimper against his lips that had him pulling back suddenly.
“Shit, sorry.” he wheezed, pushing his weight off of you and slowly pulling his now soft dick out of you with a sharp hiss through his teeth.
Pulling his grey boxers back over his hips, he moved back down to lay next to you on his back, turning his head to look over at you and reaching out to slowly pull you against him, letting you rest your head on his chest.
“I’ve got you..” he whispered, letting you lay there and recover slowly but surely, letting your eyes open and close softly as the exhaustion finally started to claim you.
When you shut your eyes, you didn’t even realise you’d fallen asleep until you woke up to a hand on your face, having now been tucked into the covers while Erik got up and fetched a washcloth from the bathroom.
“Shh..shh, it’s okay, it’s just me..” he whispered when you’d fussed softly, running his thumb along your cheek and letting you open your eyes slowly to see him standing there.
You let him clean you off softly, feeling him take care to be as gentle as he could before discarding the cloth and pulling a pair of his own sweat pants and shirt over you while you faded in and out of consciousness.
Finally as he crawled back into bed with you, you didn’t hesitate to roll back into his arms, feeling them wrap around you as a kiss was laid on the top of your head.
“You have no idea how long i’ve been waiting to do that..” he whispered against your temple as you clung to his body heat, letting him trace little shapes along your back with his finger tips.
“Just wish you hadn’t waited as long as you did..” you whispered back, a soft exhale of a laugh leaving him.
“Good things come to those who wait?” he offered up, only receiving a soft smack against his arm from you which only made him laugh more.
“Yeah, okay, I deserved that one.” he wheezed as he just pulled you closer against him, taking a deep inhale of your scent and exhaling with a satisfied hum.
“Hope you know that now that i’ve got you, i’m never letting you go.” his last words to you before you both started to fall asleep, snoring softly in each others arms in his bed, something you’d both waited almost four years to do, finally happening here and now.
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angelicscz · 2 days ago
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ྀིྀི.˚ jax headcanons
a complication of general & relationship jax headcanons
↳ before you read: lowercase intended, gn reader, written after ep 5 - before ep 6, ooc jax (?), terribly rushed, not proff read.
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first of all; this guy is a massive jerk, he knows it, you know it, we all know it and it's a fact. nobody really likes him besides perhaps pomni, everyone else tolerates him; 'cause what can they do about his antics?
let's not forget about the fact that he has keys to everyone's room, he pranked everyone at least once. i'd like to say that he pranked ragatha and gangle the most. kinger is the one whom jax pranks the least.
he secretly cares about everyone, as i said before he has the keys to everyone's room, he has them not only for his stupid pranks but for emergencies as well. he was once too late to help his friend ribbit (the character that we saw on the door in ep5) and couldn't get to open the door. imagine you couldn't help the only person who truly cared for you in this forsaken cirsus. imagine knowing that they're getting abstracted on the other side of the door and you can't do anything about it.
build his walls up high, if you were to break them to see the true him it'd take a while. he hides his insecurities and problems behind his obnoxious personality, yet deep down he wants to be heard. he wants to be comforted but he wouldn't take the comfort well, generally would be really awkward about it.
despises crying in front of anyone, despises voicing his needs, despises talking about his past life in a serious manner, despites being ignored even though everyone is telling each other to just "ignore him".
canonically he's the youngest in the cirsus; he's twenty-two (22) so theoretically he had it the worst as he had the whole life ahead of him just for it to be taken away in the blink of an eye. he could've start his own business, start a family, explore the world and so much more, but again everyone in the cirsus had to experience the shock of the new world, new body, new name and the unfortunate memory loss.
in the real world he'd listen to msi, have black nails and be the type of person to work night shifts. :p
he journals to keep his sanity!! tried to keep track of the days trapped in the cirsus but lost track after a few months. at first he used to journal everyday but he rarely writes anything in it these days, but when it does you bet he'll write out like 3 pages. has a small list of what everyone is startled by and a small list of all of caine's adventures.
he is really expressive, his ears show his emotions really well and he gestures with his hands all the time when he talks, often exaggerating everything. body language can tell you everything!!
him catching feelings for someone in the cirsus would be extremely rare as he really doesn't take the digital world seriously, but it is possible; a really really slow slow burn. now he wouldn't even realize when he caught feelings for you, it just slowly progressed into something more than friends.
I like to think that the moment he realized he had a crush on you is when he was journaling and started writing about you, a lot about you or someone like ragatha or zooble point his obvious different behaviour when it comes to you.
its subtle but it's there: the way his voice slightly softens when talking to you, the way he always soughts to be at your side, the way he's staring at you from across the room, the way his pranks are even more harmless, the way he doesn't actually walk into your room and makes obvious loud noises to signal that he's here; he wouldn't knock though.
jax's love language is quality time and acts of service. he is very observant, he already knows you will need something before you do.
terrible at giving affection, even worse at receiving it. PDA is a no no for him unless he is the one who initiates it. please don't hug him out of the blue in front of the others, poor boy will be so awkward and flushed. HOWEVER he loves giving you suprise kisses, hugging you from behind, silently telling everyone you're his. and he is yours.
A TEASE, talks big but if you tease him back? he might actually explode.
twirling strands of your hair around his fingers, playing with the hem of your clothes, a hand on your waist, on your back is how he expresses his affection and love for you. further into the relationship he'll get more comfortable with bigger acts of affection like hugging and kissing.
actually goes crazy over how you see him, it was the worst in the crushing state. he doesn't want you thinking badly of him, he doesn't want you listening to others how terrible he is. his mood WILL change whenever you're mad at him. he will try to apologize in his own way, acting like its not that big of a deal in front of you knowing damn well he couldn't sleep because of it and sweated his ass off.
wouldn't know how to comfort you if you started crying in front of him or he found you crying in your room or really anywhere in the cirsus. would just look at you first, stare. you'd think that he's judging you but he really doesn't know what to do. after a while he'd just sit next to you and wait for you to open up or tell him to fuck off. he genuinely doesn't want you abstracting, anyone but you.
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artinventor · 1 day ago
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I watched the show only recently and on my own, and only stated my reactions to what has been shown to me on screen, I know perfectly well the difference in headcanon and canon.
Dean didn’t say he didn’t feel the same, if he did that would’ve made it unrequited. They very much left it ambiguous for the viewer to decide by having him only say “don’t do this” and not speaking about it afterward. I’ve watched enough things to know when the writers want something to be clear, they could’ve easily had a scene where Dean tells Sam what happened and how he felt about it, but they didn’t. this is basic media literacy. If you want to interpret it as unrequited then go ahead, I’m not “forcing” anything on anyone I’m just stating my own opinion that you could easily ignore.
My post was mainly about everything else before the confession scene, you can’t exclude everything that came before. That’s what I thought is the main thing to look at when coming up with a conclusion about how Dean feels. They decided last minute to make Cas gay but doing so makes you look back at everything about their relationship, which includes everything Dean has done. Cas was not written to be pining after Dean while Dean doesn’t do anything back. In fact. In the very same season where they know they were writing Cas to be gay, they had Dean be the one to have a breakdown about him being gone in purgatory only 9 episodes before.
Nothing about how their relationship was written in the 12 years since Castiel was introduced has been one-sided. And if it was, the one-sided came from Dean. That was my point. Dean actually has way more intense emotional arcs than Cas does because Castiel has many periods of being dead or going off on his own (which Dean has been shown to hate, and all of that was clear as day on the show, nothing that I headcanoned). So that’s what led me to my own interpretation.
Both characters were written to be “straight” with the gay part to only be something ambiguous or under the surface because they knew it had a big fanbase, but confirming Cas to be gay changes everything. Backtracking on one previously written straight character makes one think about the other one that is linked to him, especially if he was shown to do everything the gay character has done and even more. That’s my whole point here, if it wasn’t clear enough.
I’m sorry but you can’t just officially confirm one half of destiel and then make it seem like its ambiguous for the other,,, dean had a way bigger list of gay crimes than cas like they were BOTH insane about each other and thats how the ship came to be what it is. like I actually thought dean was way more obvious than cas was. You can’t backtrack on only one of them and be like aha he was gay the whole time! And not have me assume the same for the other, like this confession makes you look back at the relationship in its entirety
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em1i2a3 · 4 hours ago
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A House In Nebraska
Pairing: Bob/Robert Reynolds/The Sentry/The Void x (Ex?)Thunderbolts!Fem!Reader!
Summary: After considering it for a long time, you have decided that it is time to leave the Thunderbolts and pursue a normal life after being passed from team to team for years. When you make the announcement it is met with a mix of emotions, but nobody is taking it harder than Bob.
Warnings: Angst and more Angst (with an ending that everyone will like hopefully), Hurt/Comfort (technically), Bob is going through it kinda, Unspoken Feelings Between Reader and Bob.
Author’s Note: I’ve been wanting to write this scenario for a while and I was finally able to get an ending that I truly loved and adored, and I am so glad that I was able to finish this and get this out to you guys, and I hope you guys enjoy it <3
Word Count: 8,336
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”I’m leaving…”
The words felt foreign as they left your mouth. Soft. Like they didn’t quite belong to you. Like someone else had said them first, quietly, in some dream you didn’t remember waking from. They drifted into the room like smoke–barely there, but impossible to ignore. They were the kind of words that rearranged the air, and twisted it up into something totally different and new.
It was supposed to be a normal night.
Everyone was tucked into their usual spots around the low table in the compound’s common room–takeout containers open, steam curling toward the ceiling, the hum of the base’s heating vents filling the quiet between bites. You had ordered everything–from the popular Chinese takeout place down the road that somehow knew everyone’s preferences better than they knew each other’s. Spicy drunken noodles for Yelena. Chicken, Duck and Pork with extra rice for Alexei. Garlic dumplings with extra garlic and extra chili oil sauce for Bucky. Sweet-and-sour chicken for Walker. Tom Yum Soup and Spring Rolls for Ava. And Bob’s quiet favourite–plain lo mein with shredded pork, no veggies, extra sauce–which was nestled in front of him barely touched.
He had known something was off the moment you said dinner was on you. Everyone did actually. They had racked their brains trying to think if they somehow missed a birthday, or if a holiday passed and somehow they didn’t realize it, but after hours of thinking they had said to themselves that it was just a regular Thursday…Which raised their suspicions and their worries. But nobody could’ve ever expected this.
You were sitting between Bob and Yelena, your knees pulled up under you on the worn-down couch, your tray balanced on your lap. Bob’s thigh was pressed lightly against yours, as it always was–casual, comforting, and familiar, something he always did because it was second nature for him to be close to you. But the second your words hit the air, it was as if that contact felt electric, like a shock went through his body. You could feel him go stiff, and you didn’t even have to turn your head to know he was looking at you.
So was Yelena.
Both their heads had twisted toward you almost simultaneously, disbelief etched into the sharp lines of their profiles. It wasn’t often that they mirrored one another. But tonight, confusion and a quiet thread of betrayal lit up both their expressions like a crack of lightning.
You didn’t dare to look at either of them. You didn’t want to. You didn’t trust yourself not to fall apart. Not when you had already made the impossible decision.
So you kept your eyes on your food instead, though your appetites had vanished hours ago when you made the choice to tell the team tonight about what your plans were.
The silence that overtook the room was instant, not even the low tapping of chopsticks could be heard. Nobody moved, and no one dared to speak.
Except Bucky. Or rather–not Bucky. He was the only one who didn’t react. He stayed perfectly still at the far end of the couch, arms braced on his knees, jaw flexed like he was trying not to wince at how tense the room was at the moment. He blinked slowly, lifted his beer and took a long sip.
He was playing his part well, because he was the only one who knew–the only one you had told. You didn’t want the others trying to stop you. You didn’t want soft glances or hands on your arm or late-night conversations asking if this was about a mission, a memory or a nightmare you couldn’t shake. You didn’t want to be the problem they tried to fix.
You were done being that.
And the only person who you knew would understand where you were coming from was Bucky.
When you had told him, he had looked at you like you were speaking a different language. You had cornered him in the weapons bay a week ago, in the quiet lull between missions. He was restocking tranquilizers, and you just stood there until he looked up.
”I’m leaving,” You had said then. His brow furrowed at the announcement.
”Is everything alright?” You hadn’t hesitated to respond.
”Everything’s fine…I’ve never felt more sure about a decision actually.” That was when he stilled.
He didn’t argue. Didn’t scold you for even thinking about it. He just watched you like he knew how much it cost you to finally say it out loud. He let you speak for what felt like the first time in months. You told him about the way the noise was finally too much. The walls. The walls in your mind and the ones around this compound. You told him about waking up every morning with a part of yourself missing, hollowed out by years of being someone else’s weapon.
Bucky had listened in silence. Because he understood.
He knew what it was like to be built for the battlefield. To want to come home and realize you didn’t even know what home meant.
By the end, he nodded. Not in resignation–but in understanding. He didn’t try to convince you to stay. He promised to keep your secret.
And now, watching him at the edge of the couch–quiet, still, unreadable–you were genuinely impressed. He was playing the part like a professional. Eyes neutral. Shoulders stiff. Not a single twitch of his mouth betrayed what he knew. What only he knew.
Before anyone could speak–before the team could do what you were dreading—you jumped in again.
“I told Val a few days ago,” you said, your voice calm but low. “She’s aware of it. And… She’s actually helping me relocate.” A sharp scoff broke the tension like a blade.
“Bullshit,” Walker muttered, dropping his chopsticks onto his plate with a dull clatter, “Is hell frozen over or something? She would never do that.” You gave him a long look, steady but not unkind.
“I thought the same thing too. Trust me. But Mel followed up with a bunch of housing options…And that’s when I realized she actually meant it. She’s…Allowing me to go.” There was a pause–one of those unnatural ones where it felt like the whole room was holding its breath.
And in that silence, you noticed it.
Bob was rubbing his knees. His hands were pressing down on the fabric of his black sweatpants, fists tightening over and over like he didn’t know what to do with them. He hadn’t spoken. He hadn’t moved. But something was coming undone beneath the surface, and it was almost unbearable to watch.
Your jaw clenched as you leaned the slightest bit toward him, fingers moving gently to rest over his wrist. You didn’t grip, you just placed your hand there–soft, grounding. It was something small, but he flinched like the contact had burned him. Ava’s voice broke through next, sharp and direct.
“Why the hell are you leaving?” She asked, eyes locked on yours. Her tone was level, but there was something trembling behind it. Something brittle. “You’re one of us. This team–we’ve been through hell together. Why now?” You didn’t answer right away.
You breathed in through your nose. Let it fill your lungs like it might soften the blow. Then you met her gaze.
“I was born into an environment where I was trained to fight. Kill. Infiltrate. Deceive,” you said, each word measured, not cold–but tired. “I never saw the sun until I was sixteen. I was kept in rooms without windows. I was…Catalogued. Modified. Passed around like I was inhuman.”
You swallowed hard.
“I’ve never had a home. Never had a normal day. Never been able to choose anything for myself. I’ve spent my whole life being used–over and over again–and all I want now…Is to live in peace, and to have a normal life. I don’t want to travel and go after people anymore…I don’t want to harm people and fight them to the death. I want to wake up in a house I could call mine, and exist without being needed.” You looked around the table, eyes landing on each of them in turn, “I’m not built for this life anymore…And I know you might hate me for it and think I’m selfish…But my task here is done…” You added.
There was a long pause, thick enough to choke you–and maybe that’s what you wanted.
And then–
“…S-So you can’t live a no–normal life with us?” Bob’s voice was barely a whisper. Barely even a sound. But it shattered something deep in your chest.
You turned your head slowly to look at him.
His face was twisted into something small. Vulnerable. His eyes, wide and watery. He wasn’t angry. He wasn’t furious. He was just…Breaking.
“Bob…” You said gently, your voice catching. “You know it’s not like that.”
But he was already pulling his arm away from your touch.
“Sure se–seems like it,” He said, and his voice cracked halfway through the sentence. Then he stood abruptly–too fast, too sharp–and walked out of the room.
His food remained untouched.
The only trace he had even been there was the imprint left in the cushion beside you. It felt like the air had been sucked out of the room, and your lungs were compressing and begging for air.
Yelena let out a slow, frustrated sigh, shifting in her spot, her knuckles turning white around her chopsticks, jaw set tight, clenching so hard it seemed like her teeth made a sharp grinding noise.
“When are you going?” She asked, not looking at you, not daring to even make eye contact. You licked your lips, feeling your throat tighten from the dryness that you were suddenly aware of in the air.
”Next Wednesday.” Yelena let out a low, bitter laugh. One that didn’t quite reach her eyes.
“Well,” She muttered, getting up from her spot slowly, “I hope it’s peaceful for you.” And without another word she walked away too. The remaining warmth of the room had left with her, and in its place was an empty, brittle kind of quiet that came after an argument no one wanted to admit had just happened.
“Wow,” Walker muttered, low and sardonic, shoving a piece of checking into his mouth without looking at anyone, “You really know how to thin out a crowd.” Bucky shot him a sharp look. A warning.
”Walker.” But he turned towards him, fork pausing halfway to his mouth, eyes narrowing with that familiar glint of provocation.
”What?” He snapped, “Are we seriously supposed to be okay with this? Just sit here and clap for her while she walks out? We all have fucking baggage here. We all bleed for this team. You were the one that was brainwashed for seventy years, Bucky. If anyone deserves a normal life, it’s you.” His jaw tightened at the comment.
”This is where I want to be, John,” He said firmly, “She doesn’t want to be here anymore…She’s burned out and exhausted. She’s done. Do you understand? Or do I need to get out the whiteboard and draw it out for you like you’re a fucking child?” That shut Walker up for a beat.
You bit the inside of your cheek, the metallic tang of blood blooming faintly on your tongue. Your stomach turned with the weight of being discussed like you weren’t even there, like you were some walking existential crisis just dropped into the center of dinner.
“Can we not act like I’m not sitting right here?” You asked, voice tight and edged.
Walker looked like he wanted to say something back, but Alexei shifted heavily in his chair, making the wood groan under his weight. He leaned forward on his elbows–his plate long forgotten in his lap–and looked at you with something gentle in his eyes.
”I support…Whatever you do,” He started slowly, his accent heavy but words carefully chosen, “You must do what you feel. Think for yourself. Not for team. Not for mission. That is not weakness. That is freedom.” His massive hand reached over and patted your shoulder—solid and warm, like he was trying to anchor you to something. His expression was soft in a way that felt rare. Earnest.
Your eyes stung.
”Thank you Alexei.” You said quietly, throat already tightening from the tears that were threatening to escape. Alexei just nodded and leaned back again, folding his arms over his chest as if he’d said all he needed to.
Walker blew out a sigh and rubbed a hand over his face, muttering something under his breath that sounded vaguely like “Still think it’s bullshit”, but he didn’t continue to push the subject–he knew it was no use.
As you stared down at your hands–at the faint tremble in your fingers, at the spot where Bob had sat, now empty–you realized something painful and true.
You weren’t just leaving a team…You were breaking a family.
And even though it was the right decision for yourself…That didn’t make it hurt any less.
———————————
You were in your bedroom, surrounded by half-filled boxes–some sealed, some still yawning open with uncertainty. The floor was a mess of folded sweaters, books, tangled cords, and scraps of your life that had clung to the corners of the compound without you realizing it. A permanent layer of dust had formed beneath the bed, now exposed, and a lone sock had somehow ended up behind your nightstand. The hum of the ventilation system buzzed quietly above you, low and steady, the only constant sound in an otherwise hollow space.
There were labels on each box–Clothes, Gear, Kitchen Stuff, Important Docs, To Val–but one sat alone at the edge of your bed.
A box labeled simply: Bob.
Polaroids, mostly. Ones you’d snapped at odd hours, between missions, at safe houses and gas stations and rooftops during sunset. There was one of him half-asleep with his hoodie pulled over his face, slumped sideways on a bench in Prague. One where he was squinting into the camera because you’d caught him mid-chew during a ramen run in Oslo. A few blurry ones he’d taken of you without asking, and you hadn’t even realized until weeks later when you found them in the stack.
You added one last thing–a keychain.
It was dumb. A glittery, over-the-top crescent moon trinket you’d won from a claw machine on a mission in Atlantic City. Bob had said it looked like something a seven-year-old would clip to their backpack. And then later, quietly, he’d asked if you could win him one too.
He’d kept it on him for months before it broke. You’d found the spare in your drawer last week, still sealed in its plastic, and tucked it into the tissue beside the photos.
The ache in your chest hadn’t stopped since that night in the common room. Not once. It hadn’t dulled. If anything, it had grown sharper with every day Bob avoided you. Every time he turned down a hallway the moment he saw you coming. Every time he shut the door a little too fast behind him. You’d tried–three separate times–to catch him when he was alone. To talk. To explain. But each time he shut you down with silence. His eyes flickered, his hands clenched, and he walked away.
He didn’t hate you.
You knew that much.
But something in him had closed off. Locked down. Like if he said a single word, the rest of it–all that golden, aching softness–would pour out and ruin everything.
Yelena, on the other hand, had surprised you.
She gave you a chance.
A few nights after the dinner fallout, she found you in the training bay–sitting against the wall with your knees drawn up, water bottle dripping condensation between your palms. She didn’t ask questions at first. Just sat beside you in silence. For nearly ten minutes, neither of you spoke.
Then she muttered, “I’m here if you want to talk.”
And this time…You did.
You told her everything. Not all at once, not easily, but enough. Enough for her to understand that you weren’t running from the team–you were running toward something you had never been allowed to have. Peace. Quiet. Your own name, your own morning, your own walls that didn’t have reinforced steel embedded in them.
Yelena didn’t say anything when you finished. Not at first.
She just sat beside you, her shoulder barely brushing yours, her eyes fixed on the far wall of the training bay like maybe she was trying to memorize every crack in the concrete. Her jaw was tense. You could hear the way she was breathing through her nose–slow, controlled. Not angry. Just…Processing.
The silence stretched. But it wasn’t the suffocating kind. It was careful. Heavy with meaning. Like the two of you were both sitting in the aftermath of something important.
You didn’t expect her to speak. You didn’t need her to.
Because she stayed.
She didn’t storm off or call you a coward. She didn’t try to talk you out of it. She didn’t even ask you to stay for her. She just sat there with you in the grief of it. Like someone holding vigil beside a wound that couldn’t be stitched.
When she finally did speak, her voice was low. Rough.
“Felt like we were finally building something here,” She murmured. “Like maybe… we were gonna be okay.”
Your throat tightened. “We are gonna be okay.”
She turned to look at you. Not cold. Not bitter. Just…Wounded.
“It won’t be the same.”
You didn’t argue. You didn’t lie. You didn’t try to sugarcoat it or cushion the fall with reassurances you couldn’t promise.
Instead, you nodded.
“I know,” You said softly. “It really won’t.”
Yelena blinked slowly, like that answer hurt more than anything you could have said. But there was a kind of respect in it, too. The way she held your gaze. The way she didn’t look away.
You offered her the only thing you could.
“I’ll FaceTime you. Anytime you want. Doesn’t matter what hour it is. If I’m free, I’ll answer.”
She gave a soft, humorless snort and rolled her eyes–but the corner of her mouth twitched. “You say that now. Wait until I call you at three a.m.”
“I’ll still be there…Even if I’m half asleep.” You replied, nudging her shoulder with yours. She looked down at her hands for a moment, then looked back at you, her eyes glossy.
”I’m still mad at you.” You nod.
”I know.”
”And I still think you’re abandoning me…”
You nodded again, “I know that too.” Yelena’s jaw twitched. She looked like she was going to say something else, but then she just reached down, picked up your water bottle, and twisted the cap off. She took a sip and handed it back like nothing had happened. Like the training bay wasn’t holding the fractured pieces of your friendship in its concrete walls.
“Doesn’t mean I’m not gonna miss you,” she muttered.
You smiled, soft and aching. “I’d be worried if you didn’t.”
She glanced at you again—this time longer. The look in her eyes was weighted, but steadier now. Not entirely okay, but… accepting. Like the fight had drained out of her and what was left was only the sharp sting of goodbye.
“You better not disappear,” she said quietly. “Or I will come find you. And I’ll drag your sorry ass back here kicking and screaming.”
You laughed–really laughed, even as tears burned behind your eyes. “Okay. Deal.” She stood then, brushing her hands on her sweats, and offered you one last look before she walked off.
It was simple. Wordless.
But it said everything.
And after the door clicked shut behind her, you exhaled a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding.
The ache in your chest was still there. Still raw. Still full of Bob’s silence and Yelena’s resignation and the ghost of the team you were leaving behind.
But somewhere beneath it all…Was the first glimmer of peace.
———————————
That night, sleep didn’t come—it hovered just out of reach, like a memory you couldn’t hold onto. Every time you closed your eyes, your mind filled with static. Movement. Noise. A hundred moments pressing down on your chest all at once.
So you gave up trying.
The clock read 2:47 a.m. when you finally swung your legs over the edge of the bed, the floor cool beneath your bare feet. You pulled on a robe, soft and worn from too many laundry cycles, and padded quietly across the room. The boxes seemed to watch you as you passed—silent witnesses to the pieces of yourself you were leaving behind.
You didn’t bother with shoes. It was spring, and the air was warm enough to touch your skin without biting.
The elevator ride up to the roof was quiet, but your stomach twisted tighter with every passing floor. You weren’t sure what you were hoping to find up there–maybe just some air. Maybe some stillness.
But when the doors slid open with a soft ding, your breath caught in your throat.
Bob was there.
He was lying back on one of the outdoor couches, head tilted up toward the stars, arms folded across his chest. The glow of the rooftop lights had dimmed to their nighttime setting–just enough to paint the space in soft gold. You could see the outline of his shoulders rising and falling, slow and deep.
At the sound of the elevator, he lifted his head slightly. His eyes met yours for only a second before he turned away again and let his head drop back down with a quiet thud against the cushions.
You stepped out onto the roof, swallowing the lump that was already forming in your throat.
“Bob…” You called softly, moving toward him, “I’m leaving tomorrow morning.”
He didn’t answer.
“You can’t just let me go without saying goodbye.”
Still nothing.
You moved closer, your steps careful, hesitant. When you reached the couch, you saw he had rolled halfway onto his side–facing away from you now, his back rigid, spine curved like he was holding the weight of something that wouldn’t let go. There was just enough space behind him on the cushions. You lowered yourself gently, wedging into the curve his body didn’t fill. Close, but not pressing. Not yet at least.
“C’mon, Bob…” You murmured. “Can you please just talk to me?”
You heard it first. A soft, quiet sniffle.
Then a voice, broken in half:
“Am I not wo–worth staying for?”
The question hit you like a punch to the ribs. You blinked hard, reaching toward him before you could stop yourself. Your hand rested on his chest, over the thin cotton of his t-shirt—his heartbeat thudding unevenly beneath your palm.
“Bob…” You said, your voice catching. “Of course you are. Of course you are. But I can’t stay. I can’t be a Thunderbolt anymore.”
He didn’t look at you.
But you saw the tears glistening on the bridge of his nose, catching in the faint rooftop light as they slid down into the fabric of the pillow.
“So why don’t you ju–just quit the te–team and stay?” He asked, his voice barely above a whisper, thick and shaking. “Stay with me?” You closed your eyes, your thumb brushing gently back and forth against his chest.
“Because I need a clean slate,” You whispered. “I love you guys so much…But I can’t surround myself with these things anymore. I’m so tired of it.”
His hand rose shakily and settled over yours. His fingers curled around yours like he needed to hold onto something before it slipped away.
And his chest shook beneath your hand as he cried.
“I have been owned by people my entire life,” You said, your voice low and slow, every word weighted. “I never got to make decisions for myself. I never got the choice to be… who I am now. I was born into it. I didn’t get a say. I was punished for things I couldn’t control, and I had to pick up the pieces of myself that I never knew existed.”
Bob was silent, but his grip tightened slightly.
“I have never had a sense of normalcy,” You continued. “I’ve never experienced being on my own–really on my own–and being in control of my own life without the strict schedules of missions or handlers or daily combat briefings. I’ve been surviving for so long, Bob… And I want to live.”
You shifted closer, forehead resting gently between his shoulder blades, your breath warming the fabric of his shirt.
“I’m trying to find who I am outside of a weapon, outside of what I was raised to be. I need to know who that person is. Do you understand?” For a long time, he didn’t say anything. The only sound was the soft hum of the wind brushing across the roof, and the quiet, unsteady rhythm of Bob’s breathing.
Then, finally–so softly you almost didn’t hear it:
“I understand.” He turned his head slightly, just enough for you to see the side of his face. His eyes were rimmed red, lashes damp. “…But…” He whispered, voice cracking like a fault line beneath the surface, “I ca–can’t imagine living my life without you in it…”
The words struck something so deep inside you, you almost didn’t breathe.
Your heart seized.
A slow, aching twist that started in your chest and moved outward like a ripple through still water. Your eyes filled instantly, no warning, just heat behind your lashes and the sudden blurring of everything around him.
“Bob…” You breathed. The name didn’t even feel like a word–it was just grief in a single exhale. Heavy and fragile all at once.
But before you could say anything else, he moved.
His hand found yours, and with trembling fingers, he brought it to his mouth.
You felt his breath first–hot, unsteady. It fanned across your knuckles like the flicker of a flame. His lips hovered, trembling, and then your fingertips accidentally grazed the curve of his bottom lip. You flinched–barely–but the touch set your pulse reeling.
“Yo–You can’t say that,” You whispered, voice unsteady. “You can’t…”
He nodded, his eyes closed now, like he was bracing for impact.
“I kn–know,” He said, his voice thudding low in his throat. “But I need you to also understand the truth from my eyes as well… I ca–can’t keep that bottled in.”
A single tear broke free from your lashes and slipped down your cheek. You felt it trace your jaw, warm and cold all at once. You didn’t wipe it away.
And then–
His lips pressed to the tips of your fingers.
It wasn’t a kiss, not really.
It was something else.
Like a confession made in silence. A truth laid bare in skin and breath and trembling restraint. You felt the warmth of his mouth wetting your fingertips slightly, felt the tremor in his body as he held you there like he was hoping time might pause.
Like maybe if he just held on long enough, the rest of the world might forget to take you away.
The moment stretched, thick and reverent, until all you could do was whisper into it.
“I never wanted to hurt you.”
“I know,” Bob murmured, mouth still brushing your skin.
“I think I love you.” The words tumbled out before you could catch them–raw and stripped down and full of everything that had gone unsaid for too long.
You felt him still beneath your touch.
Then he exhaled–shaky, wrecked.
“I do lo–love you,” He whispered, broken and sure and barely there.
Your throat closed around the sound.
He finally turned to face you fully then–his eyes red and glassy, the soft streetlight glow catching his hair. And the way he looked at you…God. You’d never been looked at like that before. Like you were everywhere in his world. Like you had taken root in the hollow behind his ribs and nothing–not even the grief–could pull you out.
You leaned forward, forehead brushing his, and for a second the two of you just breathed the same air. Sharing silence like it was the only language that wouldn’t break you. Bob wrapped his arms around you like he didn’t know how else to stay whole.
There was no hesitation anymore. He just pulled you into him–tightly, fully–like he was trying to memorize the way you fit against his body. His hand slid up your back and cupped the base of your skull, his fingers trembling slightly in your hair. You buried yourself in his chest, the soft fabric of his shirt warm from his skin, damp from his tears.
“I sh–should’ve said it sooner…” He whispered, voice frayed at the edges. “And I know it’s too late no–now… But I wanted you to know before you le–left…”
You pressed your face harder against him, your forehead nudging the hollow of his collarbone. His scent wrapped around you like a balm–soft and warm and impossibly sweet. He smelled like vanilla bean and the faintest trace of brown sugar, like the last page of a well-read book and fresh sheets on a summer night. There was a lingering note of coffee in there too–familiar, comforting, so Bob.
“I wa–want you to be happy,” He murmured, his lips brushing the crown of your head. “And if th–this is the way you’ll be happy…Do what you need to do…”
A fresh wave of tears slipped down your cheeks, warm against his shirt, soaking into the cotton like ink into paper. You felt the rise and fall of his chest match your own–uneven and trembling, the both of you wrapped in grief you couldn’t outrun. Not this kind.
Neither of you spoke after that.
You just held each other, clinging to the fading moment, to the ache of what was about to be lost. The silence was thick, but not empty. It was shared. Like the pause between heartbeats before something new begins.
You didn’t know how long you sat there.
But eventually, when your sobs had softened to slow, silent exhales, you shifted your weight just slightly. Your hand moved to rest over his heart, and you tilted your head to look up at him, chin resting lightly on his chest.
“Did I ever tell you about the first time I was able to go outside?” you asked softly.
Bob blinked down at you, his eyes still red and rimmed with salt. He shook his head gently, brushing your cheek with the back of his hand in a way that made your throat clench.
“I was in a lab in Nebraska,” you began, voice distant, like it was echoing down a hallway of memory. “I’d just been transferred there. One of the lab assistants was going through my records…Noticed how often I got sick, how reactive my skin was. All my charts said the same thing–chronic immune issues, recurrent infections, photophobia–but no one ever questioned why.”
You swallowed.
“They asked if I’d ever been outside. And I told them no. I didn’t even know what ‘outside’ really meant.”
Bob’s brow furrowed, his fingers curling around your waist, pulling you in closer.
“They brought me out the next day. Just behind the facility, this patch of open field surrounded by chain-link and barbed wire. It wasn’t much, but it was sky. Real sky. And sunlight.” You exhaled slowly, remembering. “I stayed out there until my skin burned. My arms, my face, the back of my neck. I couldn’t stop shaking. But I didn’t care. I was sixteen. I had spent every day of my life inside a room with no windows. I wasn’t going to waste it. I wanted the full experience.”
Bob gave the smallest, broken smirk. It was laced with so much hurt, but also wonder. He was listening with his whole body.
And then you said, voice softer still:
“…When I first saw you in the Vault… I thought I was having the same experience.”
He blinked.
“You did?”
You nodded. “When you looked at me…I swear Bob, it was like I was seeing the sun for the first time…The awe…The ache in my chest…I knew from the moment I saw you…You were going to be someone special to me…Just like the sun.” His mouth opened slightly, as if he wanted to say something–but he didn’t have the words. He just stared at you like the world had stopped moving for a moment. Like you’d just told him something too big to hold.
Then–
Ding.
The soft mechanical chime of the elevator broke the stillness, and both your heads turned.
Bucky stepped onto the rooftop, eyes adjusting quickly. His brows raised when he saw you tangled in Bob’s arms, cheeks flushed, eyes swollen from crying.
He froze.
“…Sorry,” He said quietly. “Hope I’m not interrupting.”
You sat up slowly, gently pulling away from Bob–but not far. You looked at Bucky and gave a faint shake of your head.
“No,” You said softly. “You’re not.”
And that was where the conversation ended.
——————————
The quinjet loomed like a shadow against the early morning sky, sleek and still beneath the soft haze of sunrise. The compound’s landing pad was bathed in gold light, long shadows stretching beneath your feet as the team worked in quiet rhythm, hauling your boxes up the ramp one by one.
Everyone was there.
Except Bob.
You scanned the area again–half-hoping, half-desperate–but his tall frame was nowhere in sight. Not lingering by the cargo bay. Not leaning against the railing like he always did. Not even watching from a distance the way you knew he sometimes did when he thought you wouldn’t notice.
Gone.
After everything you shared on the roof last night, part of you had believed–naively, maybe–that he’d come. That he’d meet your eyes one last time. That you’d have a goodbye that felt like something final and full and whole. Something sacred. But the empty space where he should’ve been said everything you didn’t want to hear.
And your heart cracked. Quietly. With no fanfare. Just a hollow snap beneath your ribs.
The last box clunked into place in the cargo hold. You stood at the foot of the ramp, hands hanging uselessly at your sides, watching the team slowly gather near you, one by one.
Alexei came first. He was cradling your coffee machine under one arm–comically oversized in his grip–and he set it down gently before reaching for you. His hug was firm. Solid. The kind of hug that wrapped you in safety without words.
His arms enveloped you fully, a wall of warmth and steady breath as he muttered gruffly, “Is always place for you at my table. No matter where that table is.” He squeezed once, hard, then stepped back like anything more would undo him.
Ava followed. Her hug was briefer, more reserved, but no less sincere. She touched your upper arms and rested her forehead lightly against yours. “You come visit when you can…We’ll miss you a lot.” You nodded, throat tight, and she offered a faint smile before stepping aside.
Walker surprised you.
He stood awkwardly for a moment, scratching the back of his neck like he was unsure whether a goodbye was earned between you. Then he stepped forward, arms spreading almost defensively like he expected to be swatted away. But when you let him hug you, he pulled you in–not hard, but secure. Not rigid, but genuine. His hand patted your back once, and he muttered under his breath, “It was fun working with you…And I hope you find what you’re looking for…”
You smiled, and let out a small breath, “Thanks, Walker.” Bucky was last before Yelena. He stood a little off to the side, arms crossed, jaw set. But when he stepped forward, it wasn’t with the stoic air he wore in the field—it was something softer. Tired. Human. He looked at you like he wanted to say more, but all he did was pull you into a single-armed hug, metal arm staying at his side.
“When you figure out what ‘home’ really means…Let me know…Maybe I’ll find mine too.” He murmured.
Your throat closed up. “You can visit anytime. Seriously.”
He nodded, releasing you gently, his lips twitching into something almost like a smile. “One day. I will.”
Then it was just Yelena.
And everything in you stilled.
She didn’t rush. She walked to you like she was measuring every step. Then she opened her arms without a word, and you crashed into them.
Her hug was everything.
Tight. Unyielding. Unapologetically emotional. Her fingers curled into the back of your shirt, and her breath hitched against your shoulder.
“I don’t forgive you yet,” She whispered shakily, “but I’m trying.”
You nodded, arms squeezing her just as tight. “I know.”
She sniffled, pulled back just enough to look you in the eye. Her mascara was smudged.
“I’ll call you once I land and get everything sorted,” You said, voice trembling.
“You better,” she said, and tried to blink away the tears. “Or I will track you down.”
You nodded again, unable to say anything else without falling apart.
And then–it was time.
You turned, climbing the ramp slowly. Every step away from them felt like it dragged a little piece of your heart behind. You didn’t look back. You couldn’t. If you did, you weren’t sure you’d be able to leave at all.
Inside the cockpit, you slipped into the seat, fingers shaking slightly as you ran through launch protocol. The quinjet hummed around you. Systems came online. The ramp sealed shut behind you. You typed in the coordinates for your new house, and pressed enter.
You stared out at the horizon, waiting for the weight in your chest to lessen.
But it didn’t, and as the jet lifted off–smooth, steady, rising into the quiet morning–you pressed your forehead against the glass and whispered so low only the sky could hear:
“Goodbye, Bob.”
And the clouds swallowed you whole.
———————————
The quinjet touched down in a slow, whisper-soft descent, the grass parting gently beneath it as though the land had been expecting you. You powered down the systems one by one, the low hum of machinery giving way to stillness–pure and uninterrupted. There were no voices. No distant alarms. No radio chatter or metal doors hissing open in the background.
Just silence.
When the ramp hissed open, the world met you with a breath of spring.
The air was cool–cooler than it had been at the compound–but not cold. It wrapped around your skin like a clean sheet pulled fresh from the line. There was a weight to it, not heavy, but full. Damp with dew. Sweet with the scent of tilled soil, blooming clover, and the soft tang of wild lilacs carried from somewhere far down the slope.
You stepped onto the grass, and the earth gave a little beneath your feet. The field rolled out around you like a green sea, golden in the sunlight. The quinjet stood in the middle of it like some strange, sleeping bird. A few feet away, tucked against a thicket of trees and set back from the gravel path, was your house.
Your house.
Your throat tightened as you looked at it.
It wasn’t grand. Wasn’t sleek or modern or fortified with anything but wood and love.
But it was everything.
A one-story farmhouse with soft grey-blue siding and white trim that had weathered seasons of wind and sun. The porch stretched across the front like open arms, its columns uneven and chipped but sturdy. A rickety wooden swing hung on rusted chains from one corner, moving slightly in the breeze. The railing was scuffed in places, like someone had leaned against it a hundred times to watch the sun go down. Ivy had started to creep along one edge.
There were windows everywhere.
Tall ones. Bare ones. Not a single one had bars. They were thrown open to the wind like someone had once opened them and never thought to close them again. Light poured from the inside, golden and warm, dancing over the warped floorboards of the porch.
You took a step forward.
And then another.
The mailbox stood on a crooked wooden post, its red flag bent sideways like a tired elbow. You popped it open and found the envelope tucked inside. Your name was written across the front in soft cursive. Inside: one brass key.
Your fingers curled around it.
It was heavier than you thought it would be. Not physically. Just…Symbolically. Tangibly. Like something final.
You climbed the porch steps slowly, savoring the sound of each creak under your feet. They weren’t sharp or alarming–just lived in. Familiar. You reached the front door and slid the key into the lock.
It turned with a quiet, satisfying click.
And then you stepped inside.
The warmth hit you first.
It wasn’t the kind of warmth that came from heat or sunlight. It was the kind that came from home. From a place that had been touched, loved, settled in–even if only by someone preparing it for you.
The floor beneath your feet was hardwood–old, slightly warped, but recently cleaned. A wide area rug stretched across the living room, woven in soft tones of sage, clay, and wheat. A couch was tucked beneath a large window, throw blankets tossed lazily over one arm. There were mismatched pillows, soft and frayed at the seams, like they had been used to prop up lazy Sunday afternoons.
To the right, the kitchen opened up–warm wood counters, a farmhouse sink with a deep basin, and cabinets painted buttercream yellow. A cast iron kettle sat on the stove. The window above the sink looked out into the field, and the breeze was gently lifting the gauzy curtains.
There was a small dining table tucked into the corner, set with two chairs. One of the seats had a tiny chip in the backrest. It didn’t look lonely. It looked like someone had pulled it out and sat there for hours, sipping coffee while the wind spoke against the windows.
You moved forward and set your keys in the ceramic dish that waited on the entryway table.
They landed with a soft clink.
You smiled.
It was the first real smile you’d felt in weeks. Maybe longer. A smile that didn’t ask anything from you. A smile that came from a chest slowly, slowly uncoiling.
You walked further into the house. Past the fireplace. Past the faded print on the wall of rolling hills and prairie skies. Past the stack of firewood and the tiny woven basket someone had left on the coffee table filled with lavender sachets and a handwritten note: Welcome home.
And that’s when you heard it.
A voice–low and familiar, carved with hesitation, but laced with that gentle brand of humor only one man ever used on you.
“You’re going to ha–have to get a better security system…” You stopped mid-step. Every hair on your body stood up. The air shifted around you–suddenly warmer, suddenly sharper. You turned slowly, your feet rooted to the hardwood, your breath caught somewhere between your lungs and your ribs.
The voice had come from the back hallway.
From the open doorway at the far end.
And when you stepped into the frame and followed it with your eyes–you saw him.
Bob.
Leaning casually against the bedroom door frame like he belonged there. Like he’d always been there. He was wearing grey sweatpants and a navy blue crewneck, the sleeves pushed up to his forearms, exposing the lines of his hands–familiar, scarred, warm. His hair was tousled, and wind-tangled. And his mouth–God, that soft, crooked smile was already stretched across his face.
His eyes flicked over your expression, and something about the way he looked at you made the shock in your chest soften. Melt. Like the earth had tilted just slightly under your feet but settled in a better position.
“I th–thought,” He started, his voice cracking slightly, “Instead of saying goodbye…I’d be the fi–first to say hello.” Your mouth opened, but no sound came out at first.
You blinked in shock.
And then–your smile broke through, wide and disbelieving, laced with something just this side of laughter. “How did you… How did you know? And how the hell did you get here?”
He pushed off the doorway with one shoulder and walked toward you slowly, like he didn’t want to spook you. His hands were tucked into the pockets of his sweats, and his eyes never left your face.
“Well…” He said, shrugging, “I as–asked Val.”
You raised your brows, still trying to catch up. “You asked Val?”
“She’s still ki–kind of scared of me snapping, so she…” He gave you a sheepish, apologetic glance. “Gave me the information pretty fast.”
That made you huff out a laugh.
He paused a few feet away, then looked down for a second. “Then I just…Fl–Flew here.”
You stared at him. “You used Sentry?”
He nodded once. No shame. “Of co–course I did.”
Your hand rose to your mouth, trying to hide the slow, surprised grin spreading across your face. “Jesus, Bob.”
He shrugged again. Like it wasn’t a big deal. Like flying to you was as natural as taking the subway. There was a pause. Just the two of you standing there in the middle of your new living room, the breeze moving through the open windows, the quiet pulse of shared history hanging between you.
Then Bob added, voice softening:
“Af–After you told me about that story yesterday…I thought you were go–going to be moving here.”
You tilted your head at him, warmth blooming slow and thick in your chest.
He smiled again, smaller this time. “Glad I caught on and that you didn’t just ra-randomly tell me that story about Nebraska for the hell of it.”
You laughed under your breath, a sheepish little sound, and rolled your eyes. “Even though it was still relevant…”
“Mhm,” He hummed, and then his gaze drifted past you, scanning the space like he was seeing it all for the first time–the porch swing, the chipped paint, the breeze in the curtains, the scent of lavender and old wood. “It’s ni–nice.”
You nodded. “It is.”
He looked back at you. His eyes were soft, and gentle, glistening in the lighting.
“Is it okay…If I st–stay for a little?” He asked.
Your breath hitched–just for a second–but the answer was already in your chest before he’d finished the question. You nodded once, slow and sure, the weight of your breath caught just beneath your ribs.
“Of course…” you murmured, voice soft. Then–after a beat, after a shift in the air that felt impossibly delicate–you added, “But I need to do something that I should’ve done last night.”
Bob blinked. His eyes searched yours—gentle, uncertain, wide like he hadn’t dared to hope for this exact thing. His hands slid a little deeper into his pockets, like he didn’t trust them not to reach for you on instinct.
You stepped forward. Just one step. Then another.
And when you were close enough to feel his breath on your face, you looked at him–really looked at him.
At the soft barely–there freckles scattered across his cheeks, at the faint lines beneath his eyes from sleepless nights, at the way his bottom lip trembled just slightly, as if bracing for something too good to be true.
“I should’ve kissed you last night,” You whispered.
His breath caught.
The seconds that passed between you then were slow and golden and suspended in something you couldn’t name. Something like awe. Something like gravity giving you mercy.
And when you rose onto the balls of your feet and brought your hand to the side of his face–fingertips ghosting along his cheekbone–he leaned into it like it was instinct. Like he didn’t remember how to breathe without you.
Your noses brushed.
His lashes fluttered.
And then, finally–
You kissed him.
It was slow. Soft. Barely a breath at first.
But God, it was everything.
It was months of unsaid words, of near-misses and held-back glances and aching silence pressed into a single point of contact. It was the exhale of something sacred. The kind of kiss you only get once in a lifetime. The kind that feels like a promise made in a language no one else will ever speak.
Bob’s lips were warm–tentative at first, trembling slightly against yours like he couldn’t quite believe it was happening. But then he sank into you, deepening it just a little. One hand lifted–hesitant, reverent–and cradled your jaw like you were something precious. His thumb brushed the edge of your cheekbone. His nose bumped yours gently.
You sighed against his mouth. A sound that was equal parts relief and wonder.
When you finally pulled back, your foreheads stayed pressed together, your noses still brushing, breath shared in the quiet space between your mouths.
His voice was barely a whisper.
“…Wo–Worth the wait.”
You smiled–soft, a little wrecked, fully his. “Yeah,” you breathed. “It was…And I’m glad you came…”
249 notes · View notes
cuteandhughesy · 23 hours ago
Text
It’s You. ╰┈➤ AS37
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summary: when your best friend needs a fake girlfriend for his cousins wedding, you are the girl he claims is his. after all, what’s the worse than can happen? well, after sharing a bed, an awkward conversation about sex with his family and an unexpected kiss, you and andrei are forced to confront feelings you thought you had been repressing.
[word count] 10.9k
warnings: MATURE! friends to lovers | fake dating | fluff | a lil angst | weddings | l kissing | reader is mentioned to have glasses | fade to black smut scene | drinking | mention of sex organs | mature themes and dialogue | read at your own discretion
a/n: the end of 2024, I put out a poll asking which players you wanted to see my write for (that I haven’t done yet) and svechy was one of the players you guys wanted to see! so I hope you guys love this 💋 this uses some scenes from a no-longer published fic—if it looks familiar, that’s because it is ❤️
🎵 perfect places by lorde, scared of my guitar by olivia rodrigo, must be nice by ruel, breakfast in bed by nessa barrett, carry you home by alex warren, it's you by zayn, best friends by 5 seconds of summer, delicate by taylor swift, + always been you by shawn mendes
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andrei already knows that it's not the brightest idea he's ever had. actually, refrain that, it's quite possibly the worst idea he's ever had.
it's just—the idea passed through his system and fell out of his mouth before he could even blink. andrei's mother and aunt had practically ambushed him on a three way call just over three weeks ago—8 a.m in russia, 1 a.m. in carolina—which already had him in a frazzle. but then they immediately started asking about the dreaded (dreaded for andrei, more so than anyone else, obviously) plus one attached to his cousins wedding invitation.
the wedding that yes, was in fact only three weeks away. and a plus one attachment that andrei still hadn't confirmed or denied if he needed. because according to his very empty left side of the bed, and the singular toothbrush on his bathroom counter, andrei svechnikov is very much single and very much not needing a plus one.
but it just came out before he could stop it.
‘of course i'll be bringing someone to the wedding mama and tetr! in fact, i'll be bringing my girlfriend!’
and know here he is, 2 hours into an 18 hour flight from raleigh to his hometown in a first class seat that, despite its expanse of leg room, feels all too small. it's suffocating for no other reason than his own doing and sneakiness that he’s drowning in.
because you're next to him, happy and sipping on your third glass of champagne—skin radiating heat with the bubbly alcohol running through your bloodstream. you're halfway to tipsy and somehow completely oblivious to the way andrei's shoulders are still tight and ridged, something that normally subsides after take off.
as far as you know—because it's what your best friend told you, mind you—you're attending andrei's cousins wedding as his best friend. because since 2019, where you meet the russian hurricanes rookie downtown at a shitty dive bar playing music far too loud, you and andrei have been just that. best friends.
you suppose the friendship blossomed because of your common interests of sports and adam sandler movies and how the smell of coconut is one of your favourite things in the entire world. or perhaps it was your differences that had you and andrei forming such a strong friendship.
you hate rollercoasters, but andrei loves them.
you love tequila, but when andrei drinks tequila he ends up with his head inside a toilet bowl.
you would rather eat rubber than an olive, but andrei puts olives on everything he eats—much to his dietary staffs displeasure. salt is a killer people.
regardless, the both of you bonded over shitty honey garlic wings served with a side of ranch—sauce on the side per your request, to which he called you a weirdo for. whatever—and became fast friends.
so obviously three weeks ago when andrei asked if you wanted to come to the wedding so he, you and quote, 'doesn't have to be alone while he young cousins force him to play around the yard, and his distant family talks his ear off the entire weekend,' you easily complied. you booked the time off work that afternoon before leaving the office without so much as a second thought.
but andrei didn't tell you why he needed you to join him. not the real reason anyways. because what? he's just supposed to say, 'oh by the way, this weekend I need you to be my fake girlfriend because I told my family that's what we have become. boyfriend and fucking girlfriend.'
yeah, unfucking likely. and andrei knows that you're not going to kill him over his little lie. that's just not you. he's also sure that if he was truthful from the beginning with you, you would've agreed to the whole fake in love act with the snap of a finger. because you're giving and caring and so damn compassionate that it's almost sickly.
but andrei just couldn't. he kept pushing the truth back, telling himself that the moment would come and that’s when he would come clean. but now you're both on the plane to russia, wedding just a few days away, and you still have no idea that in 16 hours you're going to be sharing a bed and holding hands and maybe even needing to show a few kisses.
god, it's a mess.
"do you feel sick?" your smooth voice breaks andrei out of his stress whirling thoughts, lifting his palm off his sweaty forehead like he's been caught stealing candy. it's then when andrei realizes he audibly groaned out loud, which obviously did it’s part in grabbing your attention.
he swallows and sends you an unconvincing smile. "no, i'm fine." andrei feels sick alright, just not in the way you're picturing.
you blink like a baby deer at him from over the adjustable wall between your scoop like seats—your champagne glass abandoned on the fold away table in favour of clutching the edge of the wall between your manicured fingers.
a pout pulls at your lips before you reach out, touching his forehead with the back of your hand. "are you warm?"
andrei jerks back, worried that you’ll notice the misting of sweat dusting his hairline. "no, what? I'm fine, y/n."
you send him a skeptical look, "you look like you're about to blow chunks everywhere."
"that's gross."
"it's true," you chime. a beat passes, your gaze never wavering from andrei's wound up, tight expression, while the plane continues to easily glide through the clouds.
you take your bottom lip between your teeth, gnawing on the plump skin until it will undoubtedly go raw. andrei has to stop himself from reaching over to pull your lip out with his thumb.
"are you mad about something? nervous?" you push, determined to get your best friend to spill regardless of how tightly wound up he is. and obviously you've noticed that he's been a little...off, for lack of a better word, the past three weeks. andrei is your best friend, of course you noticed.
but you know better than to push him, and that andrei will open up when he's ready—like usual. but the champagne floating around in your head has your tongue slipping, and curiosity has gotten the best of you.
"is it something I did?" you swallow, something tentative in your tone that makes andrei's belly clench with guilt.
"no," he breathes before running a calloused hand down the front of his flushed face. andrei looks back over to you, eyes flickering between your wide and sad ones, and he just breaks. "I fucked up."
ever amused by his dramatics, you quirk a brow at his distress. the drunk haze has you unable to see his actual, very real, distress. "you get the sushi from that airport kiosk after I went to the bathroom, didn't you?"
but it's then —when andrei looks over at you with a guilt ridden, pouty raw lip, that you blink. hard. a wave of hot sweat rushing over your skin as every possible problem arises in your body.
andrei mutters your name in that deep, gravelly way and you think you might be the one who ends up puking.
"what is it?" you swallow, "what happened? are you okay?"
he groans again, no less dramatic than the previous display, head falling back against the plush first class cushioned head rest, giving himself a nice view of the hard plastic roof above.
andrei thinks back to the phone call with his family—more specifically, how pleased they sounded when he told them that you were the girl he was bringing home.
you, the girl he's cared for since before he could string a cohesive english scentence together.
you, the girl who his mom facetimes more than she facetimes her own son.
you, the best friend his family has had the pleasure of falling in love with and accepting as one of their own. but left disappointed when andrei said, no, nothings there between you.
just friends.
it's too late to back out now—for obvious reasons, clearly—but also for the fact that he can't take this away from his family now. not when his mother had said she's been waiting for the two of you to fall in love.
so fall in love you must. even if it's fake.
andrei's head lols against the headrest over in your direction, and he gulps slowly, adam's apple bobbing largely. before he can chicken out and do something crazy like jump out of the emergency exit, andrei's lips part with hesitation.
"we have to pretend to be in love," he pauses, "like in love."
at first you just blink at him, face completely flat and void of emotion, and then every so subtly, your brows draw together. "...why?"
"I just," andrei hesitates like he's not quite sure exactly what to say to you. he chalks it up to the way your soft eyes are unwavering—patient, even—and that's the reason andrei just spews.
he tells you everything. from the wedding invitation with the accompanying plus one he got in the mail a year prior, and all the way through the conversation with his mom and his aunt just a few weeks ago. the taunting plus one and lack of girlfriend that just bubbled up in his chest until the lie just fell off his tongue.
andrei takes a much needed inhale, his cheeks flushed like a little boys in the summer heat. "and when my mom asked for my girlfriends name...I don't know? you were the first person I thought of."
you nod after a beat, every so slightly that andrei is not sure if he's imagining it. you fall back into the large seat with a fluttering sigh, "oh fuck."
andrei can't help the disbelief laced laughter that rumbles through his broad chest, because, yeah, oh fuck is right.
you turn to look at him, face a little less flushed than the last time you did.
"if it makes you feel any better," he continues awkwardly, scratching the spot next to his heart like a nervous habit. "my mom was really excited that we're together now."
"andrei."
he winces, "are you mad at me?"
the question prompts a flash of deja vu from meer minutes ago, when the question was flipped between you. "no," you tell him after a beat, running a clammy hand over your untamed hair. "i'm just...trying to digest it all."
"right, of course." andrei swallows and sits up straighter in his seat, "and I know i'm springing this on you very last fucking minute. but i've already figured it all out, and i've got some sort of a game plan for us."
"a game plan?"
"yeah," he nods, "I've called it the 'andrei and y/n love affair 2025.'"
"that's good," you gulp, pulling your knees up against your chest. your matching cream sweat set all blends together in this position, and andrei thinks you look like a cute marshmallow—but he chooses to not verbalize that right now, because it may just push you over the edge.
even though right now, you're surprisingly calm and it's kind of freaking him out even further.
you continue, "I hope you have this said love affair plan written down because we really gotta figure this out before we get to russia."
instinctively his chocolate eyes flicker towards the map screen, stealing a glance at the ETA of the touchdown. andrei looks back at you, "oh, we've got time."
for the next hour and forty five minutes, you and andrei go through every possible nook and cranny of your fake relationship and nail it down. from the beginning right until the very end, the plan has been polished and repeated between you over 20 times. each.
throughout the conversation you started to come a little more to. it helped that andrei asked if you were okay every fifteen seconds—which any other time may be a little annoying—but right now, you accept his persistent with open arms.
knowing that he feels bad about the situation is enough, even though you could never actually be mad at him. not over something as simple as this. the amount of times andrei has picked your drunk ass up from a variety of different carolina bars over the years—or took care of you the next morning—let's just say you definitely owe him a favour or two.
besides, it's not like you're really worried about faking a romantic relationship with andrei. most of the time it feels like andrei is already your boyfriend, just without the kissing and…stuff. now that's making you a bit nervous. but you digress.
you've both had a few glasses of champagne now, allowing yourselves to relax a bit more—which was much needed. it also allows your usual banter and teasing to return between you and andrei, hushed laughter falling from your lips under the dim lights of the cabin.
"so," you muse, a little slurred. "when did you realize you liked me?"
"you're ridiculous," andrei snorts, earning a cautious look from the old lady on the other side of the plane. neither of you notice.
"what," you laugh, "i'm prepping you for the questions." you reach over and push his thick thigh with the tips of your fingers. he barley budges.
"'nobody is going to ask me that." andrei counters teasingly, nudging you back.
"they might!" you counter, a teasing smile still tugging at your lips, a sight that has andrei following suit with his own boyish grin.
"if they ask...i'll say," he pauses, making you wait with half baited breath, tucked under the first class blankets that andrei always thinks feel like toothbrush bristles. andrei shrugs casually, "i'll say always."
your head whips in his direction from where you previously started to flip through the dinner menu—always so easily distracted—so fast that andrei gets a whiff of your raspberry shampoo. it's a pleasant smell, one that reminds him of coming home after a road trip to you sleeping on his apartment couch.
his words settle over your skin like a prickling whisper, and you blink a few times in surprise.
but then, like he didn't just say something so heartfelt and beautiful, turns towards the airplane dinner menu, humming thoughtfully as he reads the three options. "I think i'm gunna get the steak."
carefully, but with precision, you roll your shoulders, bones and vertebrae squeaking and cracking in—a much needed, mind you—protest.
you can still smell the lingering champagne and the scent of plane on your skin, and on andrei's as he walks back towards you from where’d he’d been in the heart of baggage claim, both of your suitcases in tow—wheels squeaking along the weathered floor tiles.
andrei looks all but awake as he raises his eyebrows in question, "all ready?"
you groan sleepily as a form of answer, raising your arms in a limb stretching pull, tank top risings and exposing your lower belly to the bustling airport. you removed your fluffy hoodie as soon as you stepped onto the hot, sticky tarmac and it's now sitting comfortably around your best friends broad shoulders, making him look like he belongs in a country club.
oddly enough it suits him—when you said that though he gave you a look.
despite the way andrei urges you along, he too is fighting exhaustion. changing time zones is always a struggle no matter how many times a year andrei does it, and this weekend trip is no exception. there's matching eye bags under both of your eyes, and even though andrei knows that his family is waiting for your arrival, all he wants to do is climb into his small double childhood bed and pass out.
and you're in the same boat it seems, ugg slippered feet dragging on the ground beside andrei as you both step onto the descending escalator—suitcases clinging annoyingly at the change of surface.
the ride down is held for nothing but the whirling sound of the machinery as you and andrei stay quiet. not only are you both on the brink of falling asleep while up right, but you're both so damn nervous about perfecting your plan that speaking about it will only make it worse.
and if you panic, andrei will panic and it will just go to shit.
so silence is good.
once you're stepping off the escalator and onto the ground level of the airport, andrei automatically places his large palm on your lower back, steadying you as you both make your way towards the large exit doors that lead to the even larger parking lot.
a parking lot that undeniably has his family waiting for the both of you. suddenly you’re wishing you guys just called and uber.
your heart flutters anxiously, feet coming to an abrupt stop at the thought of the days ahead. you're supposed to be a girlfriend from here on out, and that has your tongue molding into a sheet of sand paper.
once he notices you’ve stopped walking, andrei spins to look back at you, his brows pulled in the concerned way he always seems to have when it comes to your well being.
"do I look okay?" you ask frantically, running your hands over your oily, yet somehow also frizzy, hair.
"you look fine," andrei soothes, pulling your hands away from your head and holding both of your clammy hands in one of his. stupid giant boy. "stop playing with it though, or else we will really have a problem "
you send him a deadpan look. "you're not funny."
andrei grins despite the sleep lacing his expression. he easily tugs you back into his side as you both begin to short walk towards the doors. finally. "you're right. i'm actually hilarious."
you roll your eyes and push the door open, a wave of heat washing over your already dewy skin and making you feel a bit woozy. andrei reaches over your head and pushes it open further, holding the door and allowing you to easily slip outside.
he continues, "you don't need to be nervous, y/n. you've met my family before and they are already obsessed with you." andrei makes a noise between an amused scoff and a laugh, "my mom texted me yesterday and said she's already changed your contact name to, future daughter in law."
"jesus christ," you exhale shakily, pressing a hand to your forehead. your eyes flicker up to his, "don't say that or i'll start feeling bad."
andrei holds off from smirking, "don't feel bad."
"too late."
"hey, just stop for a second." andrei gently takes ahold of your wrist, his index finger automatically stroking the outer part of your forearm. you know he's doing it to calm you, but unfortunately it only turns your stomach flutters up to a maximum.
andrei swallows, and all signs of his playfulness from mere seconds ago fades. his eyes swim with sincerity as he continues, "if this is too much just tell me and i'll handle it. I don't care if my mom whoops me with her shoe—if you're uncomfortable with this plan, i'll make sure it doesn't move forward."
you blink before managing to give one firm shake of your head. obviously you're nervous, but not enough to ruin your best friends entire trip. not over this. "i'm fine."
he looks skeptical, "promise me?"
"we're not 5." you deadpan.
"promise me."
you sigh—a mixture of reluctance and amusement. "I promise. i'm just...nervous. and overthinking everything. i’ll be fine once I get some sleep."
andrei's response comes easily, like he doesn't even need to think about reassuring you. "that's okay. just be you." he squeezes your wrist. "seriously."
your lips part in an attempt to deflect the wave of tenderness rushing between you and andrei—some sarcastic remark about him becoming a softly, surely. but the excitable gasp from across the surprisingly calm parking lot halts you.
"andrei!" his mothers voice is full of excitement as elena svechnikov bounces on her heels. both you and andrei look towards the commotion and find not only his mother, but his father, igor, and for some reason the family dog.
your best friend grumbles under his breath. "oh god."
you squint through the sunshine reflecting on the cars and distorting your vision. "is that a sign?"
he matches your squinty expression, even going as fair to shield his eyes from the sun with his gigantic hand. "that's definitely a sign."
his mother, ever to sweetest lady—seriously like purse candy, shirt of her back, treats you like her own kind of sweet—is clutching a piece of red and black decorated bristol board. canes colours obviously. a big and bold font that says welcome home smack dab in the middle.
you're pretty sure there are even a few pictures of you and andrei accompanying the words.
andrei's shoulders fall in what is probably exhaustion and the act of giving up. his eyes flicker towards your side profile, a careful expression on his face as he asses yours.
"we got this," you mutter after a beat, squinting through the blistering sun and away from his parents—up at your best friend.
"I hope so." without another passing second, andrei interlocks your fingers together, a soft yet confident smile overtaking his face as he pulls you both across the parking lot and in the direction of his family.
you don't even register the feeling of his hand in yours until his mother is greeting you both happily, pulling you into a bone crushing embrace that has the potential to crack your ribs.
"wow mom," andrei snickers playfully, ruffling the dogs overrun head of curls as it jumps up his thighs. "you must love y/n more than me if you’re greeting her first."
elena waves of his teasing before pulling andrei into a hug that mimics the one you just received. andries father gives you a polite hug and then takes one of the suitcases andrei wheeled up to the side of the car.
"how was the flight?" his mom questions, eyes darting between you both with the upmost twinkle of curiosity.
"long," you breathe a laugh.
andrei grins, "but we were fine. lots of talking to pass the time."
you shoot him a look, and andrei winks at you in response.
this guy.
registering your voice, the family dog bounds towards you next, its chubby legs and paws scratching at your legs, tail wagging happily while it pants up at you—clearly seeking affection. affection that you're happy to provide. always a sucker for animals, you crouch down and scrub behind the dogs ears. it earns you a satisfied rumble from its tiny body.
"you guys are definitely tired," elena clicks her tongue in displeasure, running a knuckle over her sons cheek like he’s a kid. "let's get you two home."
she gently pets your head before making sure her husband is packing the luggage in the car correctly—even though igor claims there's no correct way to pack a trunk. andrei's mother begs to differ.
the dog follows in her footsteps, leaving you. with a sigh, you place your hands on your knees and push up from your crouched position.
clearly you should've checked how close andrei was standing behind you, because your proximity has you completely grinding your ass against his crotch as you move to stand.
you gasp as andrei lets out a gentle grunt.
"sorry!" you wince quietly, but before you can move away, andrei arm wraps around your waist, fingers flexing against your lower stomach as he pulls you back into his chest, holding you in place and not allowing you to escape.
"it's okay baby." he says. you try not let your eyes widen at the nickname or the way you can feel his semi poking at your lower back. you're sure the blush you're now sporting is visible by anyone in the general vicinity and that's embarrassing enough.
elena hearing your voices, turns away from her husband and looks towards you. the sight of you embraced has her cooing, hands held to her chest like she's just seen the rebirth of christ himself.
"aren't you too so cute, I'm glad you two are finally together." it's clear she's not seeking any kind of response with her admiration because she turns and gets into the passenger seat before either you or andrei can attempt at closing your gaping mouths. you seriously look like fish.
the car door slamming shut has andrei blinking. he clears his throat once, and drops his arm from around your waist, and despite the heat of the sun, his lack of touch leaves you feeling cool.
you quickly move away from andrei and his...situation, allowing him the space to subtly fix his problem before anything else. you try not to think about it and pass your backpack to andrei's father, who is waiting patiently for the last bit of luggage.
"you okay sweetie?" igor sends you a weary coupled with amused glance, placing your pink bag on top of andrei's green suitcase. "you're looking flushed."
your eyes widen into saucers as your skin only warms further. jesus christ.
thankfully, ever your savour, andrei saunters up next to you, shoving his own carry on into the trunk with anything less than grace. he laughs, "it is summer, dad. we're both roasting." andrei jerks his head towards the front of the suv while the dog barks happily from his mothers lap. "go ahead and get in dad, run the air conditioner for a second. i've got the rest of the bags."
as soon as igor gets into the driver's seat, your both whipping in each others direction, looks of bewilderment on your faces as the last 5 minutes linger in the air.
"fuck i'm sorry," andrei whispers frantically, pretending to adjust the suitcases to not draw too much attention to either of you. "I don't know what came over me there. are you okay?"
you can't help your eyes from flickering towards his crotch. "are you okay?"
"I will be as soon as we stop talking about it."
you snort a laugh before quickly covering your mouth with your hand, concealing the sound. andrei sends you a harsh look which only makes you giggle more.
he shuts the trunk. "just...get in the car."
"such a gentlemen."
all earlier teasing and playfulness comes to a lull as the cool and plush leather seat envelopes you—the lack of rest and pure exhaustion quickly creeping back into your bones. it's truly game over when the car starts moving, lulling you into a much needed sleep.
not even the smell of airplane and greasy hair can stop the comfort of your best friends thick body pressed against yours, providing you with the most perfect pillow as you knock out, the beautiful city of barnaul passing through the window panes.
— day 1 BREAKFAST
you have very faint memory of climbing up the stairs of the svechnikov home after arriving back from the airport. andrei helped you out the car—sleep still clouding your eyes and your legs wobbly like a brand new baby giraffe.
the next thing you know, you're blinking awake, the sun shining through the sheer blue curtains and assaulting your eyes. you're not sure exactly what time it is, but based on the light and the smell of breakfast food wafting up the stairs, you can only assume you've slept through yesterday afternoon and night.
you blink a few times, squinting at the alarm clock on the bedside table until it becomes clear—7:08 a.m. you groan into the quiet room, the mattress squeaking under your weight while you shift into a more upright position. the navy blue plaid duvet falls to your hips. it unmistakably smells like andrei, and although it's a room you've stayed in before, being in here never fails to make you feel all warm and fuzzy.
there are posters up on his wall of ovechkin and a few other russian nhl stars. old hockey sticks sit collecting dust in the corner of his room, and next to them is your suitcase. andrei must've rolled it in after you got into the bed, where you undoubtedly knocked right back out.
you stretch the stiffness from your limbs before slipping out of bed. you're still in your travel clothes, so you make quick work of changing into something a little more appropriate—cut offs and an old shirt of andrei's because you really can't be bothered to dress up for 7 am breakfast—and cleaning yourself up.
after a quick trip to the bathroom where you speed run brushing your teeth and washing your face, you timidly make your way down the stairs, the noise of bacon sizzling on the stove and gentle chatter becoming louder as you enter the room.
evgeny, andrei's brother, spots you first from his spot already sitting at the dining table. he quickly swallows his gulp of tea before calling your name in welcome greeting, "hey, you're up. how was the flight?"
it causes a chain reaction really. elena and igor turn to look in your direction from where they're fussing over scrambled eggs and various meats in the frying pan—both greeting you warmly in a way that just sounds like one long jumbled scentence. evgeny's fiancee, sara, smiles and says your name in the bubbly way she does, patting the chair next to her as an invitation.
the dogs loudly barking and it's kind of a lot for this early, but you've done it all before, and easily navigate through the bustling kitchen, and the happy dog weaving through your legs, to take a seat beside sara.
"it was alright," you answer evgeny's question while sara wordlessly pours you some orange juice. it's your favourite, and elena always makes sure it's made fresh anytime you and andrei come visit. the thought of that alone has any lingering tiredness disappearing, and a absentminded smile blossoming on your face at the simple gesture.
he snickers and shoves some bacon into his mouth. "long, huh?"
"you can say that."
"sausage or bacon, y/n?" igor glances at you over his shoulder.
you hum, "bacon, thank you."
"you and andrei," his mother woos knowingly, "you're both the only people I know who love bacon as much as you do." elena holds a plate towards her husband, and once he piles some bacon beside the gooey eggs, she's placing it on the woven placemat in front of you.
"speaking of sleeping beauty," evgeny's playfully tone has you looking away from your breakfast and towards the archway that sits between the kitchen and family room. and there stands andrei,  sweatpants hung low on his hips, and hair messy like he's been running his hand through it.
you heart ticks as you lock eyes and the corner of andrei's lips turn upwards into a lazy smile.
"get enough beauty rest?" his older brother continues to tease him, earning evgeny a flick to his bicep courtesy of elena.
your brows furrow, as its only then you realize andrei wasn't in his childhood bed, but in fact, you were. "where'd you sleep?" it's not uncommon for you and andrei to share a sleeping place, even if he's on a half deflated air mattress, grumbling like a baby, while you snuggle in the cozy bed.
"the guest room — although," he shoots his mother a look, "it was hard with all the clothes that have seemingly taken over that bed." andrei rounds to the back of your chair, hovering over you while he playfully scolds his mother.
naturally you tilt your head back to continue looking at him, his mothers rebuttal comforting background noise.
he looks down at you, a half frown settling over his face. "you're squinting. you forgot your glasses, didn't you?" he reaches out and runs his thumb along the crease between your eyebrows.
the action is so soft and so sincere that you almost forget you need to reply like a normal person. "oh, right. yeah, I did."
you didn’t even realize you’d forgotten them.
andrei always notices.
he hums in what sounds like displeasure, taking his thumb off your face in favour of moving to sit on the unoocupied chair to the other side of you and sara. then andrei gulps down three huge gulps of your orange juice and just like that you forget about the butterflies in your stomach—snatching back the glass and shoving at his shoulder.
elena sits down across the table, breakfast plate piled high with eggs and fruit and sausage. it's just as mouth watering as your own plate. "you know," she starts, "you don't have to sleep in the guest room, andrei."
he shrugs, the kind of shrug that tells you he's listening to his mother but he's not actually hearing her. no, he’s too busy shoving eggs covered in pepper into his mouth. "it's no big deal," andrei stays through bites.
elena waves a dismissive hand, while she forks some cantaloupe with the other. "oh don't spare me son, I know you two share a bed, and It's alright to sleep upstairs with y/n." she pauses, a half amused and half concerned drawn look at her face. "well, I can imagine you do more than just share the bed."
you choke on your sip of juice at the same time andrei almost spits out the piece of bacon he just greedily scarfed. it earns you both curious looks from around the table. well, curious for everyone except evgeny, who looks all too amused with the way this conversation is headed.
"oh, that's okay-"
andrei cuts you off, a blush settling high over his cheeks. "mom, do not continue that thought."
"what?" she squawks, "it's completely normal for people who are together to make love."
"make love!" evengey relates with a laugh.
sara hides her face.
igor, used to his wife's antics, just stays silent. but the half smile on his face lets you know that he too is amused.
but you and andrei are like statues.
elena continues, "although i'd prefer if you didn't do anything in your childhood room, andrei. it's too nostalgic for you to just...strip it of its innocence." she forks some more egg onto her utensil, "but as soon as you guys get back to carolina, please, get to making me some grand babies."
"okay," andrei cuts her off before either of you can truly die from embarrassment. he scratches the spot near his heart awkwardly, and even in your own state of despair, you have to resist the urge to distract him. "can we save the sex talks until dinner." he trails off, muttering under his breath, "and the babies until the wedding."
it's sara who clears her throat, clearly also feeling the laughable tension—and snickering from her husband—tainting breakfast. she plasters on a smile, before shifting the conversation. thank god.
"I can't believe it took you guys so long."
you tilt your head, "what do you mean?"
sara laughs in a way that tells you she finds this whole ordeal cute. not sure if that’s the word you would use to describe it, but anyways. “to get together. you know, dating.”
"right!" you almost shout, blinking fast. without thinking, you toss your hand on andrei’s thick thigh, rubbing it briefly like some weird form of possessive affection.
at your touch, andrei tenses. you can feel it under your palm. if it wasn’t for his family all around, you would’ve face palmed right in that very moment. is this a normal thing girls do with their boyfriend? grope his thigh during family breakfast?
before you can remove your grip and regret your entire existence, andrei casually tosses his thick arm over the back of your dining room chair. his fingers stroke your shoulder over your (his) oversized shirt, wordlessly reassuring you that everything is fine.
it feels far from fine, especially with your hand starting to sweat.
“yeah,” andrei shrugs the shoulder that’s not beside yours, “guess I finally realized what was right in front of me.”
you shove some more eggs into your mouth, chewing slowly while your try to not freak out. and then andrei’s hand is on the back of your head, scratching your scalp like it’s an everyday occurrence.
why are you kind of wishing it was?
sara and elena gush, sharing knowing looks over the table. a look that says yeah, I remember falling in love with a svechnikov.
which on one hand is great—they are truly buying the whole fake dating thing.
but on the other hand—fuck, do you look like you’re actually in love with your best friend?
"I always thought the two of you would be cute together.” sara notes after swallowing her bite of whole wheat toast. “i've been telling y/n that since, what, like our engagement party in september?"
andrei makes a light noise, “is that so?” he tugs at the roots of your hair, “you never told me that.”
“mhmm,” you hum noncommittally, finishing off your glass of orange juice. you barley remembered that conversation with, at the time, newly engaged fiancée until this moment. you briefly recall you and sara, wine drunk and with a ring glittering on her finger—her smooth voice talking about you and andrei and how she thinks he’s in love with you.
you look at andrei, “didn’t cross my mind.”
“oh no?” he murmurs, voice all low and syrupy.
evgeny snorts, “get a room.”
you let out a laugh that sounds a lot like a grumbly breath, retracting your hand from andrei’s leg. you attempt to get the pitcher of orange juice but your best friend beats you to it, refilling your glass almost dangerously full—no doubt planning on stealing some more.
then andrei takes your hand in his, interlocking your fingers and then resting them on top the table. it so sweet and domestic and if it wasn’t doing funny things to your head, you’d probably melt at the sight.
elena grins, “awe, they’re holding hands.”
and then—
“yeah soon enough they’ll be making babies in the bathroom.”
— day 2 REHEARSAL DINNER
andrei check his watch, not impatiently mind you, because when it comes to waiting for you, andrei has all the patience in the world.
plus his mother would kick him in the butt if andrei even breathed the wrong way right now about your current lack of presence. his cousins rehearsal dinner starts in an hour, and with a 45 minute drive to the vineyard, andrei is looking to leave like, 2 minutes ago.
which is fine, because he's not just waiting on you. sara is still upstairs with you, and his mother is changing out her purse on the kitchen island because her usual handbag isn't the right shade. andrei didn't even realize there were different shades of black. but whatever.
it’s just about as andrei is about to climb up the stairs and make sure you haven't burned all your hair off and are having a breakdown in his dinosaur themed bathroom , the sound of shoes clicking on the floorboards echo through the home.
and then you're appearing, in some breezy conversation with his brothers wife while you descend down the stairs. your dress, which is the perfect shade of summer blue, swooshes coolly around your ankles, making you look like a real life princess. your hair is styled perfectly, and you've even added a little extra glitter to your eyelids and andrei thinks you look fucking ridiculously pretty.
your eyes catch his, and you falter. time slows down like honey between you and andrei, warming your skin and making your knees feel heavy.
andrei's lips part like he's going to say something, but elena waltzes into the room, igor just being her—both sporting wide smiles as the height of the evening approaches.
his mother spots you and inhales sharply. "oh wow, don't you look beautiful. andrei, honey, doesn’t she look beautiful?"
it seems to break you both out of your locked, heated gaze. you smile naturally like being polite is second nature, closed mouth and with glossy lips as you continue the rest of the way down the stairs. you gravitate next to andrei instinctively.
"yeah," andrei breathes, a half smile on his face that says something words can't yet. "she does."
and then he ruffles your hair and everything shifts again. you smack him away form your freshly done hair, but andrei just takes your hand in his, interlocking your fingers as his parents usher everyone out the door.
the speeches go by in a flurry of laughter and emotion, warming your chest in a longing way you didn't release you held. there was one point when the best man started talking about how lovely the bride to be was, and your eyes got a little misty. which meant that there were fat tears rolling down your cheeks. andrei caught it, and instead of snickering at your emotion, he tugged you into his side, wiping your tears before they could continue to fall with his thumb, before turning his attention back to the speeches.
somehow, that was worse than him laughing.
thankfully as soon as the food came around, your stomach growled and the tears and sudden feeling of impending doom towards being single forever, disappeared. it's delicious and perfect and andrei keeps purposefully nudging his knee against yours under the table when someone makes a loud, stupid joke.
and that always ends up with you hiding your grin in his shoulder.
andrei, long clearing his own plate, snatches one of your brussels with his silver fork. right off your plate without a care.
your mouth goes agape, a half laugh falling from your lips. "hey!" you scold, "those are mine."
"sharing is caring," he reminds you, stabbing two more from the pile before raising them to his mouth.
"so?"
"so, do you want me to starve or something?" 
you quirk a teasing brow, "maybe if you savoured the taste of your own dinner, instead of scarfing it down like a neanderthal, you would actually be full."
"I can help it," andrei says around chewing, leaning in real close before continuing. "they're so buttery and delicious." clearly, andrei is trying to sound sudective and wind you up, but all you can hear is his chewing and it has you laughing, pushing him away as his voice tickles your neck.
"you're so gross." you laugh, grabbing the last full brussel that andrei was hoarding on the prongs of his fork, and then pop it into your own mouth.
he tongues his cheek as you chew up at him, a shake to his head so slow and soft that you're not even sure he's done. it's admiration, and amusement, and care—and it sends your heart into cardiac arrest.
andrei's gaze is so intense that it has a shiver running up your spine. the feeling making you straighten your posture and force yourself to look away. you don't see the way his face falls, or feel the way his heart drops.
and andrei doesn't know the way your heart has completely opened up to him in a different way. a way that reminds you of the feeling of home. of the past. of love.
"so, how'd you two meet?"
someone who you're pretty sure is a college friend of the groom, asks from across the table, looking between you and andrei curiously. his girlfriend has the same look on her face, hugging her man's arm fondly.
their display of affection makes you feel a bit funny considering you and andrei are supposed to look in love, but aren't even cuddling with one another at the dman rehearsal dinner like the very real couple.
so—awkwardly—you lean through the space between you and andrei, and wrap your arms around his bicep, your cheek resting against the crisp linen button up decorating his shoulder.
andrei shoots you a curious yet amused look. clearly he knows what you're trying to do, because he doesn't bring attention to your sudden affection. instead, he plays into it, large hand coming over your knee like this is something you two do all the time.
it must look natural enough because no one around the two of you bat an eye.
"we met at a bar." andrei says, "around the time I was drafted to the NHL."
"we've been friends for years." you add on without thinking.
a bridesmaid next to the couple nods, "and when did you realize you were in love?"
andrei laughs softly, rubbing that spot on his chest with his free hand. he swallows gently before answering the loaded question. "her laugh. that night at the bar, she was laughing at something one of her friends had said. I was naturally attracted to the sound. it was loud and real- it matched her perfectly."
andrei pauses, thumb twitching over the material of your blue dress. "and then when we started to chat, she was so patient with my broken english and bad flirting that I just..." he trails off, meeting your eyes from where you're softly peering up at him. "I fell for her that very same night."
you're pretty sure you stop breathing, and if you weren't surrounded by a bunch of strangers, you probably would've audibly gasped at that.
andrei blinks sheepishly, like he's only just taking account of what he's actually just said. he looks away form your gentle gaze and back towards the member of his cousins wedding party—who is staring at the two of you with a look he can't decipher.
andrei forces a chuckle and it's like a cold water bucket over your head. "only took me 7 years to admit it." he squeezes your knee in a way that feels like an apology mixed with truth. "but we're here now. right baby?"
"yeah," you clear your throat, his words and admission laying heavy on your heart. "we are."
—day 3 THE WEDDING
okay so you've kind of been avoiding andrei since the rehearsal dinner. and that was yesterday. it's just—you don't really know where to go from that.
even if andrei was trying to play into the whole fake relationship scheme, he literally admitted that he's been into since the night you met in that dingy raleigh bar almost 8 years ago. even if he didn't actually mean it, hearing him say those words cracked open the locked box in your chest.
when you met andrei many moons ago, you were quickly drawn to his dorky smile and shy persona. it was almost instantly that you developed some form of infatuation. and back then—drunk of course. you were in college. in a bar after all—you were much more confident.
you weren't going to let the russian slip away. not when the guy had you flustered and dipping your chin after two minutes of a half strung together conversation.
so you made sure to stay in touch. texting and calling and making andrei download snapchat so he could see how dolled up you'd get. for him.
you went out for drive thru dinners before andrei’s athletic trainer cared too much about the food he was consuming, and you watched movies with your legs tangled together in his apartment. fuck you even helped him learn english outside of his lessons.
but nothing ever happened. no moves were made because frankly, you weren't sure if he possessed the same kind of romantic interest in you.
so you pushed those feeling away. deep, deep, deep down into the spot in your heart you keep concealed to everyone, even to yourself. and you threw that damn metaphorical key in the toilet it and flushed it. twice.
friendship was good. and easy. and you could accept a friendship with him. because you still had him, regardless of your hidden feelings.
and you thought your feelings for your best friend had completely vanished in the last 8 years. until last night. when andrei and his sweet words and large mitt on your leg—stroking you and squeezing your flesh—started taking about falling for you the same night you fell for him.
surprise! feelings are coming back up the drain and soaking you.
and, oh god, the wedding. the venue which was stupidly packed and even more beautiful, decorated in lavender and baby pink, only made your feelings amplify.
because your avoidance for andrei didn't stop him from being the most patient and sweetest guy. he could tell you needed space as soon as you woke up this morning, and he walked into the bathroom to find you angrily brushing your teeth—and when you didn't send him a foamy smile from around the handle, andrei just knew something was up.
so he just sat beside you silently during the ceremony, wordlessly handing you a few tissues from his suit jacket when you began to cry during the vows. even when he didn't know your tears had nothing to do with the happy couple up at the altar, but instead the guy you've been in love with since before you knew the difference between tequila and vodka.
"you okay?" andrei asks during the journey to the ceremony outside, to the reception inside, words hushed against your ear while his hand hovers your lower back.
you nod, too quick and ridged. "just need a drink."
and drink did you ever. because two hours later once the sun has long set, and your shoes have been abandoned under the dinner table in favour of dancing, you can barley contain your drunken laughter and poorly timed singing.
you've probably had two bottles of wine to yourself.
and andrei can tell because your skin has changed shades and you no longer seem upset. which andrei knows is only because the liquor has coated your bloodstream, allowing you to forget whatever—or whoever—had upset you.
even though andrei is 99.9% positive that the reason for your cold shoulder is him. that, or the oyster joke evgeny made yesterday afternoon, but that was a long shot. it was most certainly him.
andrei watches with what he doesn't realize is a full blown pout on his face—like glistening, down turned lips, chin resting on his knuckles pouting—as you spin around with his sister in law.
not even the sound of your previous seat scraping against the floor pulls andrei out of his sad stare. it’s only when his brother nudges him that andrei blinks.
“so,” evgeny starts, voice low enough to keep the conversation between them, but still loud enough to be heard over the music. “y/n, huh?
“yeah,” andrei breathes, “y/n.” your name taste like sugar on his tongue.
evgeny nods in approval, but his lips are pursed in thought. a beat passes between them, nothing but the laughter of guests and synth pop song playing from the dj booth to be heard.
“can't say I'm suprised,” his brother eventually settles on, making andrei’s brows turn upwards in question while a rush of ice shoots through his veins. the inquiry and tone of evgeny’s statement has andrei feeling weary.
simply due to the fact that his older brother has always known andrei better than andrei knows himself.
he’s scratching at his chest again, but evgeny notices the nervous tic before andrei notices it himself. once andrei sees his brothers knowing glance though, andrei pulls his hand away so fast it’s like he’s been burnt, choosing to rap his knuckles against the table cloth instead.
andrei lick his lower lip before speaking. lis that a bad thing?”
“absolutely not,” evgeny reassures at the speed of light, voice steady. “it's just...I could tell that you loved her. always have.”
andrei laughs once—low and breathy—despite the way the words weigh on his chest. “I haven't always loved her. you're making me sound like a sad puppy or something equally as...” andrei trails off, but his brother is quick to fill the silence.
“pathetic?”
“yeah.”
“well, you are pathetic.” evgeny snorts, a playful edge to his voice that makes andrei sweaty. nervous. “when it came to her. always watching her, not subtly at all. and the flowers, and the birthdays, and that one year you couldn’t come home for christmas because y/n had the flu and you wanted to make sure she was okay.”
andrei shrugs causally, all while the weight of the truth sits like thick fog in the air. suffocating him. andrei doesn’t dare look over at you. not now. not when it will make him crumble and spill everything. “well i'm a good friend-and boyfriend.”
his brother doesn’t comment on the slip up. “I know that. but when it came to taking care of y/n and just being with her, it wasn't just about you being a good friend. it was about you loving her.”
fuck.
evgeny watches his brother carefully. he can see the way his words are affecting andrei, and the emotion pricking the heart on his sleeve.
it’s only then, when the conversation comes to another brief pause, does evgeny see the way andrei’s eyes flicker back towards your dancing, carefree frame. and instantly, he watches his younger brothers face changes.
it’s hurt.
it’s longing.
it’s unspoken love.
“it's okay to be in love andrei.” evgeny breathes slowly as if not to startle. “you've got a good one.”
a rough swallow and then andrei nods. “yeah. I do.”
“and mom loves her.”
that seems to do the trick, and it illicit a rough chuckle from andrei’s chest. “you don't say.”
“definitely more than you.”
andrei looks back at his brother, the start of an amused smile beginning to pull at his lips. “thanks dick.”
“you're welcome. and hey—now that you finally have her, never let her go.”
andrei isn’t oblivious to the underlying meaning of evgeny’s words. like he’s said, his older brother knows him well. but it doesn’t stop the panic creeping up andrei’s sternum, and the urge to deflect and deny is uncanny.
just as andrei goes to respond, you stumble into his eyesight, tripping over the air like it was a curb, and completely stealing andrei’s attention. thankfully you catch yourself before falling to the ground, but it still sends andrei’s heart into over drive.
"you okay?" evgeny asks you, his amusement clear. almost as clear as your level of intoxication.
andrei is on his feet before he even realizes that he’s stood up from the upholstered chair, standing next to you with his hand hovering over your back.
you nod with a lazy smile on your face, and your eyes completely glossed over. slowly, because you’re not completely all there, your eyes trail towards andrei. your smile grows tenfold while you grab onto his hips. “hey there. come dance with me?"
"I don't know," he breathes softly, eyes moving over your body as if he’s trying to assess you. regardless, he can’t stop the smile that blossoms across his lips. “I think it’s probably time we go? no?”
you frown playfully, swaying until your chest is pushed against his. "please? just one dance. please, I love this song."
andrei doesn’t recognize the song, and considering you play him every single song you like at least 20 times in a row, he knows you’re lying, and this is just an excuse to get him on the dance floor.
because you have seemingly pushed away your vendetta with him for the moment, andrei decides that he’s taking this opportunity to be with you while things are normal. andrei sighs reluctantly, yet with a hint of enjoyment, and that has your face lighting up—because you can see the answer before he says it.
andrei lets you lead him into the middle of the crowded dance floor and to a spot you seem acceptable before turning in his arms, wrapping your own around his shoulders while his find your waist, completely enveloping you.
the music has slowed down, casting the room with a slow, romantic haze that makes your limbs tingle.
"if you're sick of me after this week and never want to see me again, I understand." andrei mutters after a minute, thick fingers flexing around your body, like he’s fighting an internal battle. one that he seems to win, because he then is pulling you flush against him.
your eyebrows pull towards your nose. "what? no. nothing could make me never want to see you again."
“I hope this weekend hasn’t been too overwhelming,” andrei starts, voice no higher than a whisper due to your proximity. “and i’m sorry again for…springing all this on you—quite literally last minute.”
you shake your head. “i’m not upset, andrei. i’m fine, you really don’t have to worry about me.”
this time, it’s andrei’s brows that turn down. “i’m always going to worry about you, y/n,” he swallows thickly, knees bending ever so slightly so he can better peer into your drunken eyes. “you’re my best friend.”
maybe it’s the liquor, or maybe it’s pure exhaustion of fighting your feelings off for 8 years, but your bold question comes before you can deflect it. “and?”
your prompt makes andrei halt.
a beat passes and then andrei’s hand is running down the back of your head, smoothing your hair and you heart. “and.”
and right now—that unspoken knowing—is enough.
andrei brings you up the stairs of his childhood home two hours—and two chugged bottles of water—later. he gently guides you up the walkway, slowly and with his hand on your hip, guiding you and keeping somewhat of your stability in tact—your heels dangling from his index finger of his opposite hand.
he sits you on the edge of his navy bed once you’re back in the comfort of his old bedroom, ensuring that you’re okay before turning and shutting the bedroom door. your heels thump to the floor as he drops them next to the dresser.
andrei pulls his tie loose while spinning back on his heels. instead of the upright position he left you in, you’re now flat on your back, limbs all spread out and starfish like.
you’re not asleep. not yet. but rather grinning like a naughty child at andrei. your hair is fanned out against the covers, and there’s still some sweat lingering on your hair line from all the dancing and alcohol.
you’re quite literally glistening and andrei feels light headed.
"you can't fall asleep yet," he tells you, walking over to stand above you. with a delicate touch, he traces a finger over your thigh, and even through the material of your pale lemon dress, andrei can feel your body heat. "you have to change out of your dress, or else you’ll be mad at me when you wake up because it’s wrinkled."
you whine, "can you do it for me?”
your words are nothing but innocent, but his sex deprived brain doesn’t think the same way, and your whiny tone shoots right down to his dick. andrei swallows roughly, scratching at his chest twice before running his hand through his tousled hair.
you shift, the strapless hem of your dress slipping down just enough that it’s dangerous. andrei’s eyes instinctively dart away—just like the time they did three years ago when you’d been swimming at his place and your nipples got all pebbled under your bikini.
andrei curses under his breath.
you call his name and like the hopeless man he is, looks back at you. "please, i'm tired."
so, so hopeless.
andrei nods, grabbing ahold of your outstretched hands before pulling you back into your previous sitting position. your smile thickens and it has him feeling incredibly nervous.
"stand up for me." andrei requests quietly, and thankfully you agree with a simple nod, moving to stand on unsteady feet at the foit of the bed.
andrei doesn’t dare break eye contact. not when you’re so close that your scent is intoxicating and your bulging breasts are practically calling his name. without blinking or tearing his gaze from yours, his shaky hands reach around your body, blindly finding the clasp of your gown.
the clasp pops open, and you almost don’t catch the dress in time before it falls away to reveal your chest.
but andrei doesn’t stop there, his breathing heavy against you as he begins pulling down the small, yellow zipper. as andrei slowly begins tugging the zipper, revealing more and more of your bare skin, the more your breathing catches.
his knuckles graze against your skin, ilicting a hitched sigh from your plump, wine stained lips.
this exchange is quite possibly the hottest and most intimate thing either of you have every experienced, and nothing really has even happened. perhaps it the hesitant yet eager brushing touches that are making you light head. or perhaps it’s the eye contact between you.
it’s definitely the way your nipples have turned to diamonds, and andrei’s dick is sitting hot and heavy beneath his slacks though.
the zipper hits the end of the track with a soft clinking sound. andrei slowly lets the tag go, his hand smoothing over your hip as he begins to retract his touch.
you can feel his restraint. you can feel his desire.
"andrei," you whisper his name like a prayer. like a mantra. like it’s the password to the 8 year long puzzle between you. “i’m going to let the dress fall now.”
his gaze flickers. just far enough down to see the start of your dress and your barley concealed breasts. then, like gravity, andrei’s eyes find yours again.
“okay.” his voice is hoarse in a way that’s undeniable.
and then the dress hits the floor, the smell of your perfume puffing around you like a cloud as the material falls away. not even the smell of wine could over power your fruity scent.
he doesn’t look. he can’t. not when you’re still a little tipsy and he’s barley holding onto himself. instead, andrei brushes your hair away from your face, lingering on your cheek.
you swallow, “what are you thinking about?”
his answer comes like clockwork. “you.” andrei’s voice falters as you reach out, your much smaller fingers clumsily pulling at the buttons of his dress shirt. like your bodies know what happening before your heads do. as his summer skin becomes exposed, your hands find new home against his flesh.
andrei lick his lower lip and tilts your face up, towards his. "i'm always thinking about you."
and then, without hesitation or reluctance or anything else he’s been fronting since that night in that bar years ago, andrei slots his mouth against yours.
pushing up onto your toes, your grasp at his sides under his unbuttoned shirt, sighing against andrei’s mouth just as he does yours.
with his free hand, andrei grabs your hip, pulling your naked body flush against his, all while he expertly kisses and licks into your awaiting mouth.
after what feels like an eternity of switching between languid, slow kisses and heated hands and desperate kisses, andrei slowly guides you back down to his childhood bed, slotting between your open legs like it’s where he’s meant to be.
and perhaps, it is.
— day 4 THE MORNING AFTER
the sun beating on your back is what wakes you up the next morning. its bright and hot and too much for just opening your eyes. you groan out like a baby, pulling the covers up and over your head to further bury yourself in the cocoon of andrei’s bedding.
andrei.
your eyes snap open at a comical pace, and you sit up even quicker if that’s somehow possible. your eyes flicker towards the right side of the bed where just hours ago, andrei was curled against you. skin warm and bare against yours.
the spot is now empty.
the night comes back to you in movie like flashes. the drinking and the dancing. andrei’s calloused hands on your zipper and even more so on your skin. you sit there, still as a statue, as you remember how andrei kissed you—all over—and how his body rutted into yours like second nature.
the whispered praises and pleasure filled moans.
you remember it all.
and you remember, most of all, that you love him.
you don’t know if you should puke, cry, scream or just jump out the window. maybe all four.
you slip on the housecoat hung over the bed post, tying the string uncomfortably tight, just before slipping out of the bedroom. with last night still fresh, and your feelings practically drowning you, you know you need to find andrei—like yesterday—and tell him.
well, tell him as much as you can without choking on your own tears.
the smell of freshly brewed coffee hits your nostrils before anything else. you round into the kitchen and see elena and igor. they both grin politely, one of them offering you a drink—you’re not sure who because you’re too busy wondering where the hell andrei is to notice anything else.
the words tumble from you without a second thought, interrupting the dogs happy hopping at your ankles. “where's andrei?” and of course the cherry on top is your voice wavering.
elena’s eyes draw in confusion, her lips parting in wordless question.
“i'm here,” andrei’s familiar voice sounds from behind you. and instantly you feel like crying. he rounds to your front, looking freshly showered and clean in his shirt and athletic shorts. “you okay?”
“I just, I thought you left.” you admit, wrapping your arms around yourself as embarrassment washes over you.
“no moya lyubov,” andrei coos with his native tongue, brows pulled tight in concern. he brings you into his arms despite the way your self hug makes it a little awkward. “just putting our bags in the car so it’s all ready to go for tonight.”
“oh right,” you nod, a little dumb. you lower your voice even more before continuing. “we should talk, right?”
“yeah, we should.”
you nod again, manoeuvring in andrei’s arms until you’re able to grasp at his fingers. “come upstairs with me? please.”
he hums. “of course.”
as soon as you’re back in his navy bedroom, and the door is heard softly shutting behind you, you’re nervously wringing your hands out. “you're my best friend.” you blurt out, robe slipping off your shoulder as it is inevitably, too big. as it is obviously andrei’s robe.
he fixes the shoulder so you’re covered again. “I know.”
you continue, heart racing and voice cracking despite andrei’s calm demeanour. “and I thought that these feelings I was pushing down were unreciprocated.”
“I know,” he mumbles, pushing your hair away from your neck. “me too.”
its something in the way he’s touching you—looking at you—that has you faltering. it’s like you’re his. like he’s in—oh.
“and now.” andrei continues.
“and now,” you breathe, “and now I want to kiss you again.”
andrei legs out a laugh. “you can.”
“but not just today,” you interrupt, “I want to kiss you everyday and wake up next to you everyday because I really fucking like you.”
“well,” andrei breathes, chest puffing as he takes an impossible step closer to you. he gently but confidently takes ahold of your face in his hands. caressing you like a porcelain toy. like a prized possession. like the greatest trophy in sports. “I really fucking like you too.”
you exhale.
but he’s not quite done with his love confession. after all, he has been thinking about it since 2018. “and I always have.”
your breath catches, curiously and hope gnawing at you like a moth to a flame. “since the bar?”
“since the second you stepped foot into that bar, y/n.”
a beat passes.
“this is kind of crazy, right? is this crazy?” you laugh in disbelief, continuing to look up at him like he’s hung the stars in the sky.
“absolutely,” andrei nods, thumbs brushing over your cheek bones. “but it's a good crazy. don't you think?”
“definitely.” you mumble through the beginning stages of a sheepish smile. your fingers itch to reach out and touch andrei, and unlike everyday before this one, you allow them to.
“okay then let’s bask in the crazy, yeah?”
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A/N: okay. so! this definitely got a little rushed and I can only hopes this flows well enough to follow along with. and hopefully it makes sense and you catch the drift! I went through a writers block through this fic so a lot of the parts were spaced out (writing wise.
on another note—the rom com series is still happening. i’m just not sure when it will be out. i’m hoping for at least one before the summer ends, along with a few other goodies.
jo will girls and wyjo girls, get excited.
anyways this is just to say thank you for your patience and support like always.
224 notes · View notes
suzukiblu · 1 day ago
Text
WIP excerpt behind the cut; got some more "draft stud" for y'all. No real reason, haha, just because I actually wrote a pretty decent chunk more of this than I ended up having space to post for the mystery slots last week and like, it SEEMS like so far this WIP is up a few of your ( crime ) alleys. Like juuuuust maybe, hahaha. So I took a lil' writing break and got it all Tumblr-able for all of your tire-thieving, crime-lording needs! ❤️ content notes/warnings: omegaverse, family-planning via attempting to recruit a crime lord who is legally your dead-brother-by-adoption to knock up your best (boy)friend, and Tim Drake's total lack of respect for both personal boundaries and Jason's impending migraine. (( chrono || non-chrono ))
“Jesus Christ,” Jason groans, burying his face in one hand. He doesn’t even bother asking when or where the little creep got ahold of any of his DNA to test that. Fucking–probably off the damn memorial, for all he knows. Or, well–admittedly "at a crime scene" is an equally likely option. “You know if I were legally alive, we’d be legally siblings, right? Technically we are legally siblings.” 
“I actually think it’s pretty common to ask siblings for favors like this?” Tim says. “Or cousins, maybe.” 
“Yeah, the actually related ones!” Jason says in exasperation. “Or at least the ones who aren’t trying to drop-kick each other into either early retirement or a life sentence in goddamn Blackgate!” 
“I mean I really don’t think we have that kind of relationship anyway, considering, but also I’m not the one who you would ideally be knocking up,” Tim says with a shrug. “Also full disclosure, I don’t actually think Blackgate could handle you so there’s not much point in trying to send you there. Maybe if I just needed a free weekend or something, I guess.” 
“Why did Batgirl turn you down on this, Dream Warrior?” Jason asks, half-eyeing him.
“I’m going to blame either David Cain or Lady Shiva for that,” Tim says. “Probably Shiva, considering we were effectively asking her to sire a pup and then not actually be their parent. I didn’t think there was a high chance of her saying yes, honestly, but she was both our immediate first picks so it seemed kinda . . . I dunno, disingenuous not to ask her?” 
“Yeah, obviously she would've been,” Jason snorts as he unwraps his sandwich to tear a bite off. It's goddamn delicious, which MM's always is, but he's still vaguely annoyed because it's goddamn Tim Drake who brought it. “So what pick in the stud draft am I, eleven? Twelve? Lucky number thirteen?” 
He cannot actually imagine how many people must've turned Tim down for him to be here, so–
“No, you're second,” Tim replies, shaking his head. Jason stares blankly at him past his mouthful of wafflewich. “If you say no, I’ll be calling Super-Man, and if he says no then–” 
“Superman?!” Jason sputters. 
“No, Super-Man,” Tim “corrects” like he somehow thinks he’s actually saying a different name. “Kong Kenan. How was that not self-evident?” 
“Because it sounds exactly the fucking same, that’s how!” Jason says in exasperation, though that does make more sense. Definitely more sense than Clark, anyway, because that was definitely a what the actual fuck EVEN moment. 
“It really doesn’t, but this is getting off-topic,” Tim says, then gestures meaningfully with a hand and asks, “Which is: what are your thoughts on sperm donation? 
“Sounds boring,” Jason replies frankly before taking a swig of coffee. 
“Oh, that was a metaphor, Kon said he’s fine either way but I’d really prefer you actually fuck him,” Tim clarifies with a much more meaningful gesture. 
Jason stares blankly at him again. Tim continues to look unfazed. 
“. . . is this a kink thing, Beyond Thunderdome?” Jason asks finally, for lack of any other reasonable explanation.
“This is a ‘I don’t want my omega to feel like a lab experiment for his first breeding heat because he’s worried about making me feel emasculated’ thing,” Tim says. 
“. . . yeah, fair enough,” Jason allows, taking another sip of his coffee. Still goddamn delicious; still Tim Drake-related annoying. “Jesus, though, you could’ve led with that. You know I’m a fucking beta, though, my chances of successfully knocking up your boy in one cycle are not that impressive.” 
“Well, that’s the useful thing about cycles,” Tim says with another little shrug. “They, you know, cycle.” 
“You want me to fuck your omega through probably multiple heats?” Jason asks, still more than a little incredulous about the idea. Again, he was not even aware that those two were dating. He was not even aware that Tim was into invulnerable and insatiable touch-based telekinetic omegas built like sexy industrial farm equipment with a very public history of “let me prove I’m good enough” issues, though actually when he thinks through that full sentence in his head it’s admittedly difficult to make an argument for why he would not be. 
Maybe if he was very, very gay or very, very asexual, Jason guesses. 
“Well, if it goes well this time, we’d probably ask you to do it again in a couple years anyway, so why not?” Tim says. “Kon wants to have more than one.” 
“Oh, so twice as many multiple-heat fucks?” Jason says. Jesus, this little freak of human nature. 
“Maybe three times, depending?” Tim says, tilting his head to one side with a considering expression. “Kon was designed to be hyper-fertile but given I have heard of exactly one Kryptonian ever that had a littermate it seems like Kryptonians might have a lower chance of conceiving litters than humans do, so we don’t really know how that might go yet.” 
Jason pauses for a long moment, because all general incredulity and disbelief aside, that sentence contained a red flag the size of a damn bedsheet. Several bedsheets sewn together, in fact. 
Maybe just an entire Bed Bath & Beyond’s worth of bedsheets, actually. 
“‘Designed to be’,” he repeats, and Tim’s expression briefly sours. 
“We’re not going to get into what Paul Westfield’s backup ‘make myself a custom Superman’ plan entailed,” he says. “Especially because he didn’t immediately scrap the thing when Kon came out sixteen and unpresented.” 
“Fucking hell,” Jason says. Well, that definitely explains Tim wanting to make sure Superboy doesn’t feel like a lab experiment while he’s getting bred.
“Mmmhm,” Tim says. 
Jason eyes him for a long moment as he takes another swallow of very good coffee, debating on how stupid this idea is and also if he wants to deal with Bruce’s opinion on him getting involved in it. A counterargument, admittedly, is Superboy’s very pretty smirk and ass you could bounce a giant penny off. 
Though . . . 
“Do you actually factually know if Kryptonians have a lower chance of conceiving litters, or is the prevalence of them having singles potentially just a birthing matrix thing?” he asks. “Because another solid reason I can think of to use one of those besides not risking the dam’s health or life and doing whatever weird ‘genetic optimization’ thing they had going on with 'em is Kryptonians being a lot more likely to conceive litters. Like big litters.” 
“. . . that is a question that I should have thought to investigate sooner,” Tim admits with a slight wince. 
“Y’think, Season of the Witch?” Jason asks dubiously. Tim frowns, tilting his head again and clearly confused, and Jason rolls his eyes. “Third Halloween movie, genius.” 
“Oh,” Tim says. “I was wondering what the names were about.” 
“Terminator, Nightmare on Elm Street, and Mad Max,” Jason says with another roll of his eyes. He did not think calling the guy a bunch of threequel titles was that subtle a dig. “Jesus, kid, watch a movie that didn’t originate on either Netflix or PornHub."
“I don’t watch either of those?” Tim says, wrinkling his nose. 
“You watch porn somewhere, otherwise you wouldn’t be asking me to knock up your bitch for you,” Jason snorts dubiously, tearing another bite off his sandwich. Who even has that thought process? 
“I’d really prefer you not call him that,” Tim says. 
“Who cares, he’s not even here,” Jason retorts dismissively, waving him off as he chews. 
“Well yeah, I wouldn’t be telling you not to call him a bitch if he was here, because that would actually be helpful,” Tim says reasonably. Jason . . . pauses, and stares at the corner of the wall past Tim’s head. It’s a wall. 
 It . . . sure is a wall, yeah. And also the corner of a wall, yup. 
Wall. 
Jason chews the rest of his bite very slowly and does not allow himself to process the implication that Superboy might like being called a bitch in bed. 
“I’ve never actually heat-partnered anyone before,” he says. “Like I’ve rut-partnered a few people, but I feel like that is likely a significantly different experience. And probably also easier, frankly, given getting most alphas off takes about a fifth of the time and effort as getting most omegas off.” 
“That’s not really a concern,” Tim tells him with another one of those little shrugs. Jason stares at the corner of the wall past his head some more. It is . . . still a wall, yeah. Yup. Definitely still a wall.
What the fuck does that even mean? There is literally no way Tim meant “you wouldn't need to bother getting my omega off while you were breeding him as non-lab-experiment-ly as possible”, because in what fucking world would he have meant that, so like–what? Just . . . what? 
Jason’s brain is unfortunately supplying some very goddamn creative and very goddamn dirty theoretical answers to that question.
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athenalvss · 1 day ago
Note
Could you write with Wally West being silly and madly in love with a girl Y/N, but every time he tries to confess, something happens (like that cliché scene where the boy is trying to confess in the middle of the hall and he ends up falling, something like this hehe)
WOULD YOU BE MY.... ( wally west! )
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Summary: Wally is finally ready to face the girl he likes and tell her how he feels about her, but well, apparently fate doesn't want it that way.
pairing: Wally west x fem!reader
open request - wally west masterlist
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Wally West paced the halls of Justice Tower, his heart beating faster than his feet. Every time he thought of you, the world became a little brighter, though also a little more chaotic. His mind kept going over and over in his head: Today is the day. Today I'm going to tell her how I feel.
He'd been rehearsing the speech in his head for days, searching for the perfect words to express what he thought without sounding like a complete mess. But, as always, when the time came, everything fell apart.
He stopped in front of the training room door. You were inside, adjusting the bandages on your wrists, ready for another training session after a mission, although you shouldn't have been doing so given the massive blow you'd taken. Maybe it wasn't the right time, but then again, it wasn't the right time for this kind of situation. Wally ruffled his hair a little, took a deep breath, and approached the door, determined this time would be different.
He'd been rehearsing the speech in his head for days, searching for the perfect words to let you know what he feels without sounding like a complete mess. But, as always, when the time came, everything fell apart.
This time everything would be okay. He'd tell you everything he felt for you, you'd say yes, he'd kiss you, and he'd hug you until you grew tired of him, everything would be okay this time, not like the other four times.
The first time, he'd tried it in the Tower cafeteria. He'd set out a tray of food and drinks, sat right next to you, and started a normal conversation, trying to find the right words to get it all out, but just as he started talking, Beast Boy excitedly entered the room to show off his newfound animal transformation, accidentally knocking a tray of milkshakes over Wally.
The second time, for some reason, he thought it would be a brilliant idea to say it in the middle of a mission, after you saved his life by pulling him out of the way of a giant laser beam. Nothing like a post-near-death love confession, right?
"For the love of god, are you okay, Walls?" you said, on the verge of worry.
"I'm more than fine! Because you... I... actually, there's something I want to tell you..."
And just as you were about to let him go, a ship exploded behind you, and he let out a high pitched scream like a five yeas old. Neither of you spoke of it again, but Wally knew you'd been laughing at him inside.
The third time he tried, he wrote a note, complete with little drawings and hearts; he'd even scented the paper. He discreetly left it in your locker, convinced it was his masterpiece. That was until the fire alarms went off and a large group of students ran down the hallway, sending the letter flying, leaving no chance for you to read it.
The fourth time you two were training together, he was really trying hard, really wanting to impress you, making spectacular dodges, rolling on the floor with a confident smile.
"I have to tell you something…"he began.
And right there, when you were trying to throw a punch, he slipped because he wasn't concentrating and fell backward, hitting his head on a dumbbell. Hours later, he woke up in the infirmary with a bandage on his forehead and a note from you that said: "Rest easy, silly Flash ❤️‍🩹"
He nervously shook his hands against his pants, as if that would take away his fear. This time, this time it was going to work.
He'd seen you from across the hall. You had a makeshift bandage on your forehead and a water bottle in your hand. Despite that, Wally thought you looked like the prettiest girl on the planet with that bandage and that bruise on your face.
There were no explosions. There were no drills. There were no treacherous weights. Just the two of you, and this time, he was going to tell you.
He approached with a clumsy but determined step, without running, even though everything in him told him to flee or at least make a joke to break the tension. But no. This time he was going to be direct. He was going to speak from the heart.
"Hey..." he said, with that smile of his that always appeared when he was around her, that smile accompanied by hearts in his eyes. He ran one of his hands behind his head and rubbed the back of his neck, nervously. "Do you have a second?"
You looked up with a soft smile, tiredness still etched in your eyes. "Sure, Walls. What's up?"
He stopped in front of you, and for once in his life, he managed to hold your gaze. It felt like fireworks were going off in his chest, like his hands were getting wet with anxiety, he felt his words pile up in his throat, and for the first time, they didn't stumble over each other. He was more than ready.
"I've been wanting to tell you something for a while. Something that... well, that scares me a little, but I can't keep it to myself anymore because every time I see you I feel like-"
you blink slowly, once, two, three times.
"You okay, hon?" he asked, confused by the sudden lack of response.
And before he could say or do anything else, you stumbled forward, as if the world were slipping away from under you. Wally caught you in his arms just in time.
—¡Hey! Hey, hey! No, no, no, don't do this to me! —he said, holding you with a mixture of panic and desperation.
You were unconscious. Fainted.
The blow you'd received during the mission, the improvised bandage, the exhaustion. obviously something was going to happen
And he, again, with the words on the tip of his tongue...
Damn fate
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barleyo · 1 day ago
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Frostbitten, Forbidden.
Hector Condicionado X F! Reader (smut)
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A/N: another one shot with my favorite cretin. he's so lovely, i just want to eat him in one bite. hope you enjoy reading this!
Tags: dub-con, p in v, creampie, lots and lots and lots of dirty talk, sensory deprivation (eyesight)
Wordcount: 1.1k
Hector would do anything for you. He made it abundantly clear. From the moment you met him, or rather, from the moment he saw you, he knew he would make any sacrifice, any oblation, just to make you happy. No, he didn't want to make you happy—he wanted to keep you happy. A constant state of pleasure and contentment, all due to his own efforts. 
If you were tired, he would build you a bed frame with his bare hands. If you were bored, he would come up with a story to rival the telling of Shakespeare on the spot. Sad? Paw at his vent and tell him all about it. 
Fuck, he would slice his own palms and use the blood to write one of his novels for you if you wanted to do some light reading.
The only thing he couldn't do for you right now was turn up the heat. His only purpose, his one job, he simply couldn't do. Whether there was some sort of blockage in the air filters or a malfunctioning motor, nothing seemed to be working. 
Dead winter and not a single puff of air to ease your pain. 
It tore him up inside more than you would ever know, watching you toss and turn in bed, layering yourself in blankets that hardly helped. He tried for days to fix it himself. He borrowed tools from Tony, but hell if he knew what he was doing. Bang a wrench against the grate? Plead with the thermostat to co-operate? 
He felt like mold. Worse, actually. At least mold gave the world penicillin. What was he giving his beloved? Hypothermia? 
Your poor, freezing legs kicked under the thin covers in discomfort. He knew he had to do something, and he had an inkling of where his mind wanted to go, but it just seemed risky.
Then again, he'd take any risk to satisfy you. 
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Your body was shaking inconsolably at this point. You were miserable. Days of straight ice and still air were starting to get to you. Truly, you were convinced it was colder outside your home than in it, but you wouldn't run the chance of finding out. You wanted nothing more than to drift into sleep, but it was too cold to even hope for a good night's rest. 
Just as you began to give up, you felt the bed dip beside you. That wasn't right. You lived alone. 
You tried to scream, but a quick hand covered your mouth. Was this the end? Jesus, why you?
"Hush, my love, it is I."
Oh. 
You slacked in Hector's grasp. You had heard his voice many times, and although it sounded a bit different outside of the vent, you still felt its comforting tones wash over you. That didn't change your confusion. Why was he out of the vent?
As if he could hear your thoughts clicking, he answered, "I couldn't stand to see you like this. Suffering, when I can do something about it."
You hummed against his palm in understanding. Your eyes flicked across the wall in front of you as you laid on your side. You wanted to flip over and see him. You tried to resist the urge, to respect his privacy, but your body acted on its own.
Hector quelled your movements sharply, firm hand turning your head to face the wall again. 
"You know I cannot have that." His calloused hand covered your eyes instead. He cupped his palm over them to keep you both literally and metaphorically in the dark about his appearances. "Don't focus on anything but my warmth. Let me help you, amor."
He hastily fidgeted with his belt, popping the buckle with overly eager hands. 
"Let me make everything up to you. Please."
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"Don't you know what it does to me to have this power over you?" 
Hector had gotten much more into this than he thought he would. Obviously, a chance to get this close to you, to touch you, was heaven, but to have complete control?
This was the stuff of fantasy. 
Total domination, zero vulnerability. An opportunity to act on all the depraved things he had said to you in the vents without the fear of being judged for his looks? Sign him up.
"To have you at my mercy? To have all of your trust?" He bottomed out, pushing your face into your pillow. Gentle, as to not hurt his precious girl. "I've wanted this for so many moons. So much wasted time—god—if I knew it could be like this..."
You moaned a strangled little noise into the fluffy pillow. He hated not being able to hear the full extent of your pleasure, but there would be time for that another day.
"That's right," Hector said, voice syrupy and warm as he spoke to you, "I would've taken you much earlier."
His hands gripped your hips and forced them upwards. He dreamed about this. It nearly felt like deja vu, seeing as how he thought of bending you into these nasty positions many times before. It was almost too good to be true. 
"Maybe I would have snuck out of the wretched vent early in the morning to visit you." 
What a tease.
"Or maybe late at night. Late when you think nobody hears you, touching yourself in the dark." His hips stuttered. He didn't want to cum yet, not until you did. He wouldn't forgive himself if he messed up yet again. "I hear you. I hear every sound, every little noise you make. I turn the air up. Make it nice and loud, so nobody else gets to enjoy the show you put on."
Despite the slight uncomfortableness of the angle he put you in, you could see why he did it. He was hitting deep. Deep and purposeful. It was too much for you to handle, especially with his teasing. 
"If only you would have asked me for help. I would've been out in a heartbeat." 
A sexy, but flagrant lie. The sweet vent-dweller took to hiding deep in the vents when you masturbated, stroking himself recklessly while trying to silence his breathing. He was far too nervous to actually do anything about it and far too ashamed of eavesdropping. 
"Next time you need pleasure," he choked out, feeling your gummy walls flutter around him, "call for me."
If he had any shame in the current moment, he'd be horrified at how quickly he came after you. He was simply waiting for your body's permission before he blew.
"I'm always here for you, love."
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randomfandomswriting · 1 day ago
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Mingi x Plus Size fem!Reader
When a secret crush on your friend leads to something more.
———
A/N: This came to me in a dream lol. I couldn’t help but think how Mingi would handle a bigger girl so I wanted to write something for us! (i am a bigger girl) So here it is! Please let me know what you think even if you’re Anon in my messages! and if you have any other one shot ideas (even fluff or angsty) im currently writing for Yunho/Mingi from Ateez and Yugyeom/Jackson/Mark from Got7… anyway i hope you enjoy!
Warnings: SMUT 18+ MDNI. unprotected sex (do not do this IRL this is fiction). Nothing too aggressive or rough, more passionate. in case it’s not clear: this is a work of FICTION.
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Saturday night’s at Mingi’s apartment became a regular occurrence. It had been for months and tonight was no different. There were always snacks, drinks, and a good movie. The two of you would sit side by side and watch a familiar favorite and sometimes when feeling bold something new. You always looked forward to spending time with him, and if you were being honest you had a big crush on him. He didn’t seem to know, even though all your friends could figure it out. You wouldn’t dare tell him. How embarrassing would that be? To be rejected would mean things could or would change between you, and for now being his friend was good enough.
“That new girl at work asked me out.” He said sometime halfway through the movie, and your attention snapped to him. Watching as he put popcorn into his mouth.
“The one you were telling me about?” You ask. It had been a week or two since she started. Mingi told you all about how she’d follow him around the office and try to talk to him during lunch. He seemed unphased when he talked about it, but now it was interesting.
“Yeah.” He shrugged, placing the popcorn on his coffee table, “Tonight actually.” You felt your stomach churn.
“Oh” You managed throat going dry, sending you reaching for your drink, needing the alcohol to burn your throat so you didn’t say anything that sounded like a hint of jealousy. “Why didn’t you go? Can you still meet up with her? I can totally leave?”
He let out a short laugh, “Y/n, Saturday’s are our nights.”
You let out a short laugh too, your head spinning, “But Min… You could’ve skipped tonight if you wanted to go out with that girl… what does she look like anyway?”
He shrugged, “She has… blonde hair?” He furrowed his brows, “Honestly I don’t know… and besides that I didn’t want to go with her.”
You tried to mask the giant smile spreading across your lips, he clearly wasn’t interested in her, you tried to push, just to see. “Is she your type? Is she tall… thin? What color eyes?”
“Woah… I need to speak to my lawyer before an interrogation.” He chuckles, his deep voice rumbling. “I don’t like her.” he said, “She’s not my type.”
A silent cheer erupts inside of you, but now you have more questions. You’d seen girls who practically threw themselves at Mingi. He was handsome and tall. He was sweet and kind. You tried to think of a time he’d gone home with a girl, what she looked like, but you couldn’t think of one.
“What is your type?” You ask, the movie long forgotten though his eyes were fixed on the screen. He shook his head, a laugh escaping his lips again, his eyes moving over to you.
“God,” He sighs, “What's with you tonight?” his voice is playful so you don’t back track.
“I just thought about how I’ve never seen you with a girl… you never talk about it if you’re with them…”
“You don’t talk about guys you see…” He retorts, and you laugh.
“I don’t see guys.” You reply, finishing your glass of soju and reaching for the bottle.
“Why not?” He asks, you shrug taking a swing from your glass and looking back at him. You look for a lie, something so you don’t have to tell him because I like you stupid boy.
“I hate guys.” You muse, which isn’t a lie. He laughs. “Okay so now you.”
“I don’t see girls because the ones that throw themselves at me aren’t my type.” You raise your brows. Beautiful women have thrown themselves at him, you’ve seen it before, watched them flip their beautiful hair and flash pearly white grins. You let out another laugh, he had to be lying, you thought.
“So then what is Song Mingi’s type?” You ponder, and he blushes, your eyes widen. “Min!” You slap him playfully, “Is there something you want to tell me?” This whole time right in front of you it was clear, Mingi didn’t have a type of woman. He clearly liked men.
“You’re my type.” The words left his mouth casually, as he reached for the rest of the soju. You let out a short laugh, because, well, you were in shock. You watched as he finished off the soju. Your cheeks flushed more red, your skin burns hot. Maybe he was joking. He had to be right?
You hadn’t moved, you couldn’t even if you wanted to. You were frozen, and he made his way back. New bottle of soju in his hand. You just looked at him, and he took a few moments before looking at you.
“What?” He asked, “I- I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”
“I’m not.” you say quickly, “I’m not.”
“You’re the most silent I’ve ever heard.”
“I was just trying to see if you were joking.” He rolls his eyes, before they land on you.
“Why would I joke about that?” You sighed, maybe Mingi didn’t get it.
Growing up, in a bigger body meant things like that happened. You had to deal with people joking with you about dating or down right being disgusted by the idea. As you got older it became worse, with men wanting to keep you a secret, use you for sex, or meeting you and ghosting you soon after. That’s why you didn’t like to date. It was a mental torture.
“I just… I’m surprised.” You bring a hand over your face, “You’re just… You. and I’m me.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Mingi your a total babe.” You groan, “And I’m me.”
“You’re beautiful.” He snapped, “Every part of you. Including your sick little brain that tells you you’re not beautiful.” Your back to shock again, not to mention the butterflies he normally gave you felt more like giant birds. You had to pick your jaw up off the couch. “I like you. I’ve liked you for a while. And not just your looks either. Everything. You’re funny, smart, witty, kind… I just didn’t want to ruin our friendship, so since you don’t like me can we just please go back to watching the movie? We can forget I said anything, and just continue being friends.”
“And if I do like you?” The words leave your mouth faster than you can stop them, the soju giving you more courage that you would’ve had without it. He turns his head back toward you, now he’s in shock.
“Do you, really?” His brows furrow, and you hate how adorable he looks when confused. You nod, and watch as he closes the space between you, stopping to place his glass on the table, but his nose grazed yours. Your eyes flutter down and shut by the time his lips finally connect with yours, and it leaves you breathless. Still in shock it takes you a few seconds to take it in. The taste of soju on his tongue as it dips into your mouth leaves your head dizzy and your hands find his broad shoulders. Nails lightly digging into the fabric of his black t-shirt. His hands find the curves of your sides and more down to your hips, and though you usually hate it, you take comfort in the feeling of his big hands on you.
You had thought about what it would be like to kiss him for a while now, this was even better. He was good. He knew exactly how to move his lips and use his tongue, and you pulled him even closer to you, his body pressing against yours as your fingernails found the nape of his neck, gently running down his skin. He had done the same, daydreaming about kissing you, feeling your soft lips against his. He loved feeling your body, how soft you were in his hands, he loved feeling it when you even hugged him goodbye, this was heaven.
His hands moved up your curves fingers slipping under the hem of your shirt causing you to giggle, it tickled and you squirmed your lips parting from his.
“Is- Is that okay?” he asked and you nod, “We can stop if you want. Any time you want.”
“I don’t want you to stop.” You admit, blush creeping over your cheeks and he smirked, nudging you with his nose again, this time his fingers are hooking under your shirt, pulling it up over your head and you move to help him. Usually you’d feel like you needed to hide, but Mingi’s eyes on you made you want more of him. insecurity didn’t cross your mind as his lips met back with yours. He only lingered there for a few seconds, “You’re perfect.” he hums, his deep voice rolling out into your mouth making you move to kiss him. Your teeth gently nipping at his bottom lip, making him groan.
His lips only last there for a few more seconds before they’re moving down your neck and to your bare chest. His hands finding new places to grab and caress, your chest arching toward him involuntarily as he used his tongue to swipe against your warm skin. You couldn’t help but bite your bottom lip, his teeth sinking into the same spot he was kissing seconds ago. You moan as your body swells with heat. You notice the imbalance of clothes and reach to pull off his shirt, he moves to help you and clings back to your neck like two magnets snapping together. Your nails slide down his neck again, and over his shoulders and you can see the goosebumps that follow and he moans against your skin. You can feel him growing more and more hungry, his hands moving down your chest, a hand slipping under the waistband of your pants and between your thighs. You whimper your thighs parting to make room for him and his eyes find yours.
“So wet for me…” He rasps, “let me take you to my bedroom.” You nod rapidly, and he moves his hand to grab yours.
It’s a mad dash once you’re in there, your hands moving to his waistband as he moves to yours. He leans down to kiss you more, hungrier, sloppier than before. He gets your pants off and then his, before his big hands are back on you. He looks at you like a painting, and you’ve never felt more beautiful as his palms slowly move down your sides, every curve being caressed, his lips down your chest and stomach making you blush. He ends up on his knees in front of you and it makes your heart flutter to see his pretty eyes looking up at you. He looks so pretty on his knees, mouth ajar, lips swollen and pink, his tongue sweeping over them as he continues to admire every inch of you.
His fingers run up your legs and thighs and over the curves of your ass, where he gets a hand full and you giggle as his fingers hook into the waistband of your underwear, pulling them down. “Can I taste you?” He asks and you nod, blushing as he nods for you to sit on his bed. You sit back as he moves toward you, his lips finding your thighs, his hands hooking around and grabbing them apart, pulling you closer to his mouth. “I’ve dreamed about this.” He rasps as he begins to devour you.
One of your hands finds his hair, pushing it out of his face so you can see his pretty eyes, and he moans when your eyes meet his. His tongue laps at you, and he pushes further into you with his tongue as his fingers dig into your thighs holding you apart for him. He was good, and he was savoring the moment tasting you as he lapped at your arousal. His tongue moved up to your clit and his lips latched onto you making your moans falter into more of a cry, your head falling back onto the bed as you rolled your hips against his face. You couldn’t control yourself, and he was loving every second of being between your thick thighs. He was so vocal about it, his deep voice rumbled into you as he moaned and growled trying his best to keep you still. Your head is spinning when you feel a hand move from your thigh, and you can feel a long finger slipping into you easily, it makes you whimper and he adds another finger curling his fingers as he pumps them in and out of you.
“Mingi…” Your voice shakes as he continues to lap and suck on you, your orgasm starting to swell in the pit of your stomach, between his mouth and his fingers you weren’t able to hold it together. You were falling apart, your moans turning into squeaking whines, your voice shaking. He was hitting the right spot with his fingers and his tongue. He didn’t care to make a mess, burying his face between your legs, making sure he didn’t miss a beat in making you feel good.
“Come on, princess.” He growls, his fingers not stopping his relentless movements, “Cum in my mouth.” He rumbles and you didn’t have much of a choice, as you cried out a string of curses, your body shaking beneath him. Your vision was long gone as you squeezed your eyes shut your hands grasping for his bedsheets. He doesn’t stop his tongue, enjoying every last drop he can as you lay there your eyes closed.
“Fuck.” You breathe slowly pushing yourself up as he meets you halfway, red puffy lips still wet from you. You kiss him this time, sloppy, nasty, your tongue slipping into his mouth and when he returns his you suck on it, a hum from your throat. “My turn.” You pull away and he looks at you. Your hands reaching for the waistband of his sweatpants, you could tell he wasn’t wearing underwear, and it was confirmed as you pulled his long thick cock free. He’s hard already and you switch spots with him on the bed.
“I’ve dreamt about this…” He moans, as your hand wraps around him your eyes finding him as you lick a long wet line up his shaft, he bites his bottom lip, keeping his eyes on you. You stroke him slowly, using your saliva to keep him wet.
“Keep talking to me…” You say, “I want to hear how good I am.” You blink up at him before taking him into your mouth, just the tip at first.
“Keep those pretty eyes on me.” He rumbles, and you do as you use your tongue over his tip, swirling your saliva around him. “Take more, please.” He begs, and you oblige, stretching your mouth around him as he moans in a deep breathy voice, “So perfect.”
You start slowly, taking him as far back into your mouth as you can but making sure to pull all the way back. Your eyes still looking up at him as you take him further, into your throat, your eyes watering as you bob there, and he moans even louder. You moan too, around his length and the vibration makes him shudder. Watching his head fall back you take pride in it. You got him right where you want him and you take him until you gag but don’t pull off yet. You don’t dare as you bob your head more, and he growls a hand coming up into your hair, a tight grip on it as you suck in your cheeks pulling off him, your hands coming up to stroke him as you pull away, taking a breath his eyes finding yours.
You know you probably look rough, there’s saliva dripping from your lips, your eyeliner is definitely smudged from this or when he made you cum. But you’re watching Mingi lose control, his face red, his eyes fixated on you.
“You beautiful girl.” He rasps, and you wrap your lips around him again. His grip on your hair somehow grows tighter but he’s not pushing you, just holding you still. Then you feel his hips thrust up, his cock sliding into your throat easier now, and you moan around him. Your hands finding his bare thighs, your fingernails gently but firmly scraping into his skin as he fucks your mouth slowly. You’re expecting him to finish like this, you want him too, his brows furrowing as he lets deep moans roll from his throat. “Not like this.” He groans and you suck off him again, taking another breath he pulls you toward him, eagerly, his lips hungry.
“How do you want me?” You whimper, your lips still lingering on his. This ignited something feral in him.
“Turn around, grab that pillow… both of them…” You listen to him, following every instruction, “Under your hips, good.” You stick your ass out for him, without him asking and he growls at the sight of you, every single curve on display as you look back at him. A hand slaps your ass and you whimper and giggle moving your hips back towards him as he gets closer, lining himself up with you, and you brace yourself for him, your fingers curling into his sheets holding tight as he moves agonizingly slow into you. The stretch alone feels good, your mouth falling open as you moan. “So fucking good.” He groans, his palms gliding over your ass to your hips, grabbing tightly as he thrusts himself fully into you.
The feeling of him filling you is addicting, you need him to move but instead you grind back onto him, “Fuck.” You whimper, moving again. He lets you move, use him like a toy.
“Just like that.” He rasps, “Show me how good my cock makes you feel.” You throw it back harder, a little faster and you crave to hear him moaning more and more. His eyes admire the way your body moves, every jiggle and every bounce making him want more. You keep up a steady pace, the two of you just sounds of bodies crashing together and moans, whimpers, and growls. Your stamina starts to weaken as your stomach starts to flutter with the start of another orgasm, and you clench around him sloppily, sinking onto his cock until he takes over. His pace is relentless, energized, you don’t even move now, just trying to hold steady as he pounds into you. Your body trembles as he hits your spot and your brain gets foggy.
“fuck.” You cry, “Mingi…” you whine.
“C’mere. I want to watch you as you cum again.” He groans, and you hate the feeling of him sliding out of you, leaving you empty as you move over to face him, his hands scrambling for the pillows, “put these under your hips.” he instructs and you nod quickly moving them and he helps you into the perfect spot before slowly sinking into you, both of you letting out a shaking moan. He picks back up to the pace he was at, and you watch as his eyes fall shut, he uses his entire body to press against you as he grunts your hands reaching for his bare broad shoulders.
“Mingi—“ You cry, “I’m so close.” His hips slam into you faster, your words falling back into nonsense as one hand grips your hips, the other moving to your clit making your legs shake as both motions make your orgasm start to peak. Before you can feel him twitch inside of you, his own words become a deep growl as he releases inside of you. You followed behind, your eyes tearing as you cried out. Your body jerks away from him as your brain turns into mush, your body on fire as you continue to tremble beneath him. He stays inside of you, and you don’t want him to go yet as he leans toward you, his lips kissing yours lazily.
“Fuck.” He groans, and you nod in agreement.
“Yeah.” You breathe heavily, he slowly slides out of you, the two of you gasp in response. He doesn’t go far, immediately cuddling into your side, head nuzzling into the crook of your neck. His lips pressing against your skin, his hand coming up to turn your face toward him. “You’ve daydreamed about this?” You smirk, his nose nudging yours as he smirks nodding, suddenly sheepish.
“It was better than I’d imagined.” He grins. You laugh and shake your head before kissing him again.
“You should’ve told me…” He sighs. “We could’ve done this sooner.” You giggle again.
“Better late than never.” You shrug and he laughs now too. He sits up, and looks down at you with a smile on his lips. He looks so pretty now too, even with swollen lips and messy hair.
“Okay perfect girl, let’s get you cleaned up and get some food… and then we can do this again.” You let out a laugh as he puts his hands out to you, helping you up.
“We have all the time in the world now.” You smile, and he does too.
“I’m not wasting anymore.” He smiles before pulling you up with him.
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salsa-and-light · 2 days ago
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@spidersteelandsmile
Your story is beautiful. Than you for sharing, these sorts of things aren't talked about enough.
Knowing Queer people and Queer stories is the strongest antidote to prejudices like these.
I respect that you tried to approach this diplomatically.
I don't know if you were being brief to come off as non-hostile or if you genuinely aren't familiar with many of the tactics of homophobic Christians, but in my experience they do not have reasons for their beliefs.
Many have very rudimentary explanations which are either entirely untrue or fall apart upon examination. Examination that they can not or do not do themselves.
So I will admit that talking to them seriously can be taxing, even if they do have good intentions. It does not appear to me that that this person has good intentions.
I would be happy to explain more on the different ideas and sources surrounding this subject if you are curious, and you are more than welcome to read on. But in my opinion, I don't think you are going to get reasonable answers from someone like this.
>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>
@artist-issues
"But it’s kind of pointing out a flaw in your understanding of God’s Word to open your post with “give me verses” and then narrow it down to “but only the ones where Jesus is talking.”"
Christ specifically was operating in opposition to the religious norms of his day.
At various points both in his ministry and in the rest of the New Testament the Law and contemporary Jewish norms are specifically ended, removed or condemned.
Christian follow Christ, Christians focusing on Christ is the default.
We shouldn't be acting out the arrogant legalism of the pharisees who killed him, that's for sure.
"“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.“ John 1:1"
This is actually a good thing to mention.
As Gay Christian and historian of Christianity, Diarmaid MacCulloch put it:
"The Bible is not the word of God. Jesus is the word of God, it says so in the Bible."
So yes, Jesus the Christ seems to be the most important person to listen to in.. Christianity.
"“All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness..."
No one said that scripture was useless.
What you're doing is talking around the fact that the founder of our faith didn't have anything to say about homosexuality.
If you want to argue that it doesn't matter, then fine, do that.
Arguing against points no one made makes you seem defensive, or paranoid.
..
Though you have stumbled upon something worth mentioning.
The scripture is trustworthy.
But why would you be⸮
You can have your opinion of course, it's just that your opinion isn't worth much.
In a way it's telling that when questioned you cite the inerrancy of God and scripture.
As if the authority of God.. makes your argument stronger.
Difficulty with separating your opinions from God's is usually a problem.
"Peter, in his letter, said Paul’s words were Scripture"
..No..
but also,
"His letters contain some things that are hard to understand, which ignorant and unstable people distort, as they do the other Scriptures, to their own destruction." - 2 Peter 3:16b
It's odd that you decided to breeze past the part where he says people distort scripture.
I'm not even disputing the legitimacy of Pauls readings, but if I were, why would I trust Peter more?
And even if I did trust Peter more.. he doesn't use the word "scripture" in Greek, he said "writings".
["γραφὰς-graphas" is the Greek word in quetion, being the source for the English root "graph" as in "photograph", "graphics" or "grapheme" a linguistic term for a fundamental unit of written language"]
Even the English word "scripture" just originally meant writings but through the isolated exposure to the word through the Catholic church the word gained religious connotations. Spanish, French and other romance languages have a doublet of the term but have to specify "escritura sagrada", "Saintes Écritures" or holy scriptures, because their terms are the equivalent of "writing(s)".
This is mostly a English phenomenon.
So no one was arguing that Paul was unimportant, but if they were.. then your argument would still be bad.
"And if you doubt that the Apostle Peter had the authority to say what was and was not the Word of God, then you’re doubting that anything you know Jesus to have said was ever actually what He said"
Again, no one is disputing the accounts of Peter.
But if they were this would, again, be a terrible argument.
There are four Gospels and Peter didn't write any of them.
If someone wanted to ignore Peter's account they could and still have the majority of the accounts of Christ's ministries.
..
i think you're misunderstanding the problem here.
I don't think anyone here is saying that Christ is the only source of information.
Christians are people who follow Christ, it' not that deep.
But if we are listening to Paul we should listen to him.
Here's what he said.
"One of you says, “I follow Paul”; another, “I follow Apollos”; another, “I follow Cephas”; still another, “I follow Christ.” Is Christ divided? Was Paul crucified for you? Were you baptized in the name of Paul?" - 1 Corinthians 1:12b-13
We are not saved by the Law or by Peter or Paul.
Appealing to them to supplant the ministry of Christ is contradictory to the ministry of Christ and that of Peter & Paul.
"a lot of the eyewitness accounts of what Jesus said come from the Apostle Peter."
I don't even know what this means.
Peter didn't write the Gospels, at most he Wrote 1st Peter and 2cd Peter.. and that's disputed too.
This isn't even the topic, I don't care and you're not the person to talk to about this anyways,
but these claims are just puzzling.
"If you’re going to say Scripture is your authority, you have to answer the question “why.”"
Interesting that you didn't give a why when you were making things up about how being straight was a fundamental part of the faith.
"The only reason to make Scripture the authority for your life and how you live it is if, indeed, it is the Word of God."
"The Bible is not the word of God. Jesus is the word of God, it says so in the Bible."
"And you have to believe all of it is the Word of God. All of it."
This is called a false dichotomy.
Another lie.
Not that anyone was saying that they didn't believe the Bible.
Which again,
"The Bible is not the word of God. Jesus is the word of God, it says so in the Bible."
"Now that we’ve established that it’s all-or-nothing"
You didn't establish anything.
You said something insane and blathered for a bit.
No one is even arguing that parts of the Bible are untrue, your arguments are just terrible
It's amazing that language teachers can't correct this sort of thing.
"you can’t just pick and choose which verses have authority and which don’t"
No you don't get to choose.
If you're listening to the whole Bible then you are actually commanded to ignore certain portions of it.
Which I know that you know, because I know you're not making animal sacrifices correctly.
"here are the ones where homosexuality is prohibited.[Leviticus 18:22 & Leviticus 20:13]"
This is so embarrassing for you.
..
I'm going to ignore the hypocrisy of quoting a code of law that you don't follow and I'll even ignore that I count five mistranslations in just two verses and I'll focus something worse.
You're being dishonest.
Let's make this very, very simple.
Is two lesbians raising a child together a form of homosexuality?
Yes.
Is two men having sex together a form of homosexuality?
Yes.
Now,
Is two lesbians raising a child together a form of two men having sex together⸮
No.
This is the equivalent of saying that clothes are banned because hats are banned. You're exaggerating the meaning to match your personal feelings, not the semantics of the actual text.
This verse, which is A) mistranslated and B) defunct, still does not prohibit homosexuality.
It doesn't prohibit gay marriage, it doesn't prohibit gay parents, it doesn't prohibit anything that a lesbian might do.
It doesn't even prohibit all forms of sex between men.
Even in a defunct, mistranslated text you still felt the need to lie.
Because nothing about your views is based on reason, or honesty. It's certainly not based on text.
It's based on your prejudice.
"This is God...telling the Israelites in His Law"
It's Levitical Law, the law of the Levitical priesthood. Priests from the tribe of Levi.
And among its lists of laws, [which you do not follow], are laws requiring the execution of rape victims and systematizing the ownership and sale of women; among other things.
So I'm actually grateful that you spent so much time building up Paul so you can't backtrack when Paul writes about the Law.
"But now, by dying to what once bound us, we have been released from the law so that we serve in the new way of the Spirit, and not in the old way of the written code." - Romans 7:6 "So the law was our guardian until Christ came that we might be justified by faith. Now that this faith has come, we are no longer under a guardian." Galatians 3:24-25 "The former regulation is set aside because it was weak and useless" - Hebrews 7:18
But supposedly you got your conclusions from the text.
"It’s meant to reveal the standard that humanity falls short of, not condone falling short of that standard."
Sure the perfect version of humanity wears tassels.
Funny, Adam and Eve didn't wear anything.
"Jesus has not changed His mind about this. Homosexuality is an abomination. And ⬇️ [Romas 1:26-27]"
This is lazy.
I could tell you to just read the whole chapter; but who knows what you'd come up with.
If you had read the whole chapter.. you would know that this chapter is talking about a pagan sex cult.
And if you knew what you were talking about, then you would know that these men usually had sex with women.
Condemning a bunch of cultists is not a commentary on homosexuality even if the members were homosexuals, which they decidedly were not.
"⬆️ This was written in the New Covenant"
What would that even mean‽
Not everything in the New Testament, is a part of the new covenant.
You realize that the New Testament also includes the crucifixion and commands for slaves to obey their masters right?
"God hasn’t changed His mind. What He says is natural is natural...it’s not natural to be “consumed with passion” for the same sex as yourself."
You're talking about what's ""natural"" as if you aren't online. Be serious.
You want to know what else is unnatural⸮ Modern medicine, electricity, indoor plumbing, the written word.
If you had thought about this for more than a second you would have realized how stupid naturalism is as a moral standard
And if you had done that then you might have actually attempted to understand the meaning of the text.
The Greek term "φυσικὴν - physikēn" just means instinctual or inborn. It's a relative of the English word "physical".
It does not reference any such concept like an universal natural order.
It just means that these men were usually with women and not men.
This is the closest the Bible ever comes to describing orientation.
If Paul had intended to make broad sweeping commentary on homosexuality, a concept that would not exist for another eighteen centuries, then why would he be specifying that these men were acting out of character.
Probably because having sex for the worship of a pagan god is even more heinous when it's not even the sex you'd want to be having.
"Jesus talks about the correct view of marriage by quoting...[Matthew 19:4-5]"
Jesus does not say that this is the correct view of marriage, Jesus never even calls this a marriage, and neither does Genesis 2:24 which he is quoting.
You're compulsion to lie is troubling.
And because I actually know this topic fairly well I suspect that you're thinking that it must be about marriage because the verses mention wives.
But no
English translators added "wife", both the Hebrew and Greek terms of this quote(Genesis 2:24 & Matthew 19:5 respectively) just mean "woman"
And again, it's fortunate that you've spent so much time defending the validity of other scripture because if you want to argue that all scripture is equal.. then Jesus can't be claiming that the correct view of marriage is heterosexual monogamy.
Because the Bible frequently refers to polygamy and makes a distinction between marriage and other forms of relationship like concubinage.
So if you're claiming that no other sort of marriage can exist, then you're contradicting scripture.
"I know you said you don’t understand how what Jesus does say condemns homosexuality."
There’s nothing to understand, this is an imaginary problem.
Mentioning heterosexuality isn't condemning Queer people.
Queer people manage talk about heterosexuality all the time without being homophobes.
"Jesus was talking to people who were trying to trap Him by asking about the right way to handle divorce—a matter of marriage. And Jesus answered by explaining what the correct view of marriage is"
Assumption.
"We fall so hard that even what we desire is twisted and broken, and even our ability to know what brokenness is"
Clearly yours is.
"And that’s why it’s so good that you asked me to give you verses. Because when we can’t trust whether or not we know what’s good or bad, right or wrong"
You're a fool if you think feelings stop at the page.
Your feelings influence you.
You are not impartial, objective or even terribly knowledgeable.
Your interpretation is less reliable than the conscience of someone who actually knows something about the Queer experience.
"The Bible. God’s Word."
"The Bible is not the word of God. Jesus is the word of God, it says so in the Bible."
"You can’t base what God wants for you, what’s right and wrong, on your feelings"
That's what you're doing hon'
You arguments don't make sense and your behavior is more in line with an emotional outburst.
"Life experience is meant to be informed by what God says in His Word"
I'd love to see where you got that idea from.
All human communication is formed on the basis of past experiences.
Anything you could interpret must be transmitted through the lens of past experiences.
Which is why bias is an inherent part of the human condition.
"Because your analyzer, your mind, your heart, are broken,"
Oh look gaslighting.
Isn't it rich that you remember the basic reality of bias and fallibility only when they're using them to explain why you should be the authority.
"What I am telling you is that your interpretation of that experience, that it’s somehow “from God,” that He set it up that way and that’s how you know He approves of your homosexuality—that is what’s incorrect"
Cool story, but you can't prove it.
"Your interpretation of what you’ve lived through as “from God” is incorrect, and it is very dangerous."
Real quick, how many people died from being gay and happy⸮
It's "dangerous" because you can't disprove it. And you know that no one will buy the misery you're hawking without censoring any alternative.
"There are plenty of verses about that."
Oh yes there are plenty of verses about being wrong about scripture.
But history seems to indicates that that doesn't stop people frome being wrong.
One of us must be wrong don’t you think, but do those verses tell us who⸮
"This is against saying that “God placed a burden on me to do this or that” because you run the risk of perverting His words."
I guess you're also abstaining from the "burden of proof" too.
"Again, this verse proves[Jeremiah 23:25-27] you can think you’re hearing from God, or something is coming from God, and be wrong."
And you're exemplifying that problem beautifully.
"But you don’t have to read very far into the Bible to notice that God is a specific, existing Person with His own set of characteristics, wants, loves, and dislikes, and you can’t change them or decide what they really any more than I could change or decide what your characteristics,"
Says the homophobe using non-binary pronouns to blaspheme a God of Love.
This is a non-point.
No one is trying to change God here but you.
You're the one making the claim that God's grace is undone by homosexuality.
That's heresy.
"The only way to know is to line what you’re thinking about His will up next to Scripture. See if it matches."
Oh girl, don't you know better.
If your only standard for your base ethics is whether scripture "agrees with you" then it's no wonder you're so nasty.
For one you don't know much about the Bible, so basing your morality on your hazy recollections is.. not exactly ideal.
But let's suppose that you actually knew something.
You want to know who reads the Bible and comes away thinking they have God's approval⸮
Everyone who wants it
I'm sorry but even I and the other Queer people you so despise regularly come to the conclusion that the Bible supports us.
Your own pseudo-logic condemns you.
Queer people don’t usually go around bragging about it because anyone can get scripture’s approval: me, you, nazis, slavers, imperialists.
And lest you be confused, this is not because everyone else is lying to themselves and you are the one true Christian who reads the Bible honestly.
It’s because bias is inherent to the human condition and we can be wrong no matter how good or bad our intentions are.
"And if you’re living as if He does not think homosexuality is an abomination,"
Abomination is one of those mistranslations from the laws that you don't follow that I mentioned;
by the way.
"One more verse, because it’s the one where Hope is found.[1 Corinthians 6:9-11] See? Do you see?"
Another instance where some more research would have saved us both some time.
Please refer to the documentary about this
1946: The Mistranslation That Shifted Culture
Or if you can't find that documentary, you can look at this recorded presentation made by one of the presenters.
youtube
Both 1 Corinthians 6:9 & 1 Timothy 1:10 are mistranslations totally unsupported by historical analysis and even modern English semantics.
You don’t have to watch these videos, but if you want to claim to be informed with any honesty it would behoove you to actually be informed.
"Don’t be deceived - you can be wrong about this."
But not you is that right.
- negative self awareness -
"It is defined as normal by the Bible TO be deceived"
Yeah,
Which explains why Christians have proclaimed evil prejudices like racial hierarchy and imperialism for centuries.
Can you think of anything similar⸮
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"You can be deceived—into believing that any of the sins he lists are somehow NOT sins"
And you were deceived into thinking that Love was immoral based on mistranslation.
"It’s in the verse. It’s plain. Nothing twisted or hard to see or understand about that."
You wouldn't be saying that unless you already knew that the translation is contentious.
If you had spent time trying to understand the situation instead of covering your own ass, then you might have been able to learn something.
"Homosexuality is a sin. But it’s not a super-sin. It’s not special"
Lie. You don't believe that.
And I know you don't believe that because you didn't write angry pouts about other sins.
You also didn't claim that the arrogant or the hypocritical stop being Christians.
Presumably because you aren't so stupid.
But you're not smart enough to not get caught in an obvious lie.
"Such were some of you - Christians have been homosexuals."
And Christians continue to be homosexuals.
Gay conversion is not possible through any ethical means, nor is it possible through unethical means, and we know this because we've tried all of them.
Advocating torture because you can't handle reality is evil.
"But it’s past-tense. It was who they were. It is NOT anymore."
Being gay has never been who anyone is.
And you would know that if you saw Queer people as your equals instead of as evil bogey man made to torment you.
"Homosexuals" is a mistranslation. And your wild conspiracism is embarrasing.
"The name of Christ? “Christian.” An identifier that is incompatible with the name “homosexual.”"
Prove it.
You have no credibility, your knowledge is inaccurate, you honesty is wanting and you're a minority opinion even among the bigoted.
This isn't an argumment, it's begging.
"You aren’t a homosexual. If you’ve been washed, sanctified, by the Spirit of God"
And we're still not heterosexual or straight.
Which is it. Is God's power limited⸮ Or are you⸮
There is a wrong answer.
"Please don’t jump right into responding to this reblog by saying things to me like “I pray that one day God opens your eyes to a world of love, not hate,”"
Oh.
So you do have an understanding of how impersonal platitudes are annoying.
So you weren't ignorant, you were a hypocrite.
"as if anything I’ve said is hateful"
- negative self awareness -
I don't know what needs to be done for you to have an attitude adjustment, but I teach rich pre-teens and they're not this bratty.
"or anything apart from what God says is love can be love. He is love."
Lower my expectations and keep digging.
You're somehow deluded into believing that Love can be evil.
I follow a God of Love, you’re doing something else.
Look at 1 Corinthians 13
You know.. Love is patient, Love is kind..
Ring any bells⸮
Why don't you read that chapter and let me know when you find a gender requirement.
"He says it is is better than the lies the world has convinced you is “love.”"
Oh so your evil.
Queer people are in fact capable of Love.
How you think you're not full of hatred is beyond me. Though I suppose you could be lying.
"Read what is typed in this post and weigh it and consider it, as if it’s the first time you’ve heard it."
So without all of your homophobic biases.
Funny, without assuming that homosexuality immoral and that Queer people are incapable of Love the Bible doesn't seem so prejudiced after all.
Way to tell on yourself.
Get real.
People aren't going to magically acquire your biases even if they could somehow get rid of their own.
You are not some blank slate interpreting without motive, you are dripping in bias, with a large helping of self-importance to boot.
"And THEN make the decision"
I did.
I got three degrees worth of knowledge and read a pile of books on the subject.
You can't even be bothered to read your own posts so you don't get caught in a lie.
Maybe you got off on being able to dominate the other boys and girls in Sunday school, I don’t know, but this behavior is terrible.
I once believed the way you do. Then I got better.
You could too. But you choose to wallow instead.
"Or are you going to stop trusting your deceitful heart and what the whole world says, and trust in God alone?"
You can't even Trust that God made a Love you don't experience.
Don’t bother talking about trust when you’ve shown that you don’t value it.
"If you’re a Christian, you chose to die to your old self and be Christ’s. Be what He tells you to be."
Which is a Queer fuck.
And if you don't like it, kick rocks.
"One is a traveling nurse who was engaged to another woman, the other is a 15 year-old girl who was dating another girl. They gave their lives to Christ in this past year and are happy, even though it’s hard, following Him."
80% of supposed "ex-gays" are openly Queer again within five years.
And that's according to the manipulated data of "conversion therapists."
But if you're hanging around we might be able to cut that time in half.
Wishing them a speedy recovery.
"“Let God be true though every one were a liar…”"
Well we already know which one you are.
I will say it again:
The LGBTQ+ person who asks Christians to "welcome and accept them without telling them they should change" is openly demanding that the Christians change. From being Christians, to being non-Christians.
Because Christ died to save you from who you used to be. When you become a Christian, you're choosing to change from who you were to who He tells you to be. That is Christianity. To tell Christians to stop talking and behaving like that is what they believe is to not only reject Christianity yourself, but demand that they reject it, too.
Do not listen to any influencer, pop culture icon, or person who says to you that Christians do not love LGBTQ+ people, because they say LGBTQ+ people should change who they are.
Christians change who they are. More accurately, they let Christ change who they are. That’s how they became Christians. Truth goes hand in hand with love—it is not avoiding it. Because love is not anti-rejection. Love rejects plenty of things! Love rejects hatred, self-focus, and lies. So of course Christians who believe in a God that says, “let Me change you into who you’re meant to be” can tell you that you need to change—and that is loving. They love you, and they’re not okay with leaving you the way you are. Because Christ didn’t leave them, the Christians, the way they were.
Don't listen to anyone, "Christian" or otherwise, who tells you different.
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glowettee · 3 days ago
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⋆˚࿔glowettee hotline 6: finding peace after studying.ᐟ
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hey lovelies! 🤍i'm finally back with glowettee hotline
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abbey sent in the sweetest question to the glowettee hotline about something i think so many of us struggle with. that persistent anxiety that whispers "you could do more" even after you've literally been studying for hours and hours? yeah, i know that voice all too well.
i was literally up until 3am last night reorganizing my color-coded study guides even though i'd already finished them, so trust me when i say i understand that perfectionist energy. there's something about academics that brings out that need for control in all of us, right?
first, i want you to know that what you're experiencing is actually super common among high-achievers. that anxiety isn't a sign that you're doing something wrong - it's actually your brain being a little too good at wanting to succeed. your brain has basically created this false equation that anxiety = productivity, when actually they're totally different things.
when i was in my worst perfectionist spiral last semester (we don't talk about the great midterm meltdown of 2024), my academic counselor shared something that literally changed everything for me. she called it "productive completion" versus "perfectionist completion" and the difference is everything.
⋆.ೃ࿔:・ why your brain keeps doing this ・:࿔ೃ.⋆
your brain has been rewarded for being anxious in the past. every time you've pushed yourself to do "just one more thing" because of anxiety, your brain logged that as a win. it doesn't realize how exhausted and burnt out you're becoming.
also? uncertainty is literally uncomfortable for our brains on a neurological level. your organized nature (which is actually a superpower when balanced!) means your brain craves that feeling of "doneness" - but perfectionism keeps moving the goalpost so you never actually reach it.
⋆.ೃ࿔:・ practical things that actually help ・:࿔ೃ.⋆
create a "done list" instead of just a to-do list. physically write down everything you've accomplished in a study session. when anxiety says "you've done nothing," you have literal evidence to the contrary.
implement a physical "closing ritual" to signal to your brain that work time is over. i close my laptop, put my books in my bag, and light this little vanilla candle that's only for post-study relaxation. your brain needs these concrete transitions.
use time-based boundaries rather than task-based ones. "i will study for 2 focused hours" is better than "i will study until i feel done" because perfectionism ensures you'll never feel done.
try the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique when anxiety spirals hit. name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste. it literally interrupts the anxiety pathway in your brain.
create a "worry hour" where you give yourself permission to stress about academics - but only during that designated time. when anxious thoughts come outside that hour, tell them "not now, i'll think about you at 4pm."
practice self-compassion statements that feel authentic to you. mine is "being imperfect doesn't mean i'm ineffective." find yours and repeat it when that voice starts up.
⋆.ೃ࿔:・ the deeper work ・:࿔ೃ.⋆
here's the thing about perfectionism that took me forever to understand - it's often a protection mechanism. somewhere along the way, you learned that being perfect kept you safe from criticism or failure or whatever scary thing your brain is trying to avoid.
the real question to gently ask yourself is: what would happen if you did "just enough" instead of everything possible? what are you afraid would occur? usually when we dig into this, we find some core beliefs that need updating.
for me, i realized i had this weird belief that if i wasn't constantly anxious about academics, it meant i didn't care enough. which is obviously not true! you can care deeply about your studies while still having boundaries and rest.
abbey, i want you to know that your worth isn't measured by how exhausted you are at the end of a study session. your organized nature is a gift - but it should serve you, not control you.
sending you the warmest thoughts and a reminder that you're doing so much better than you think you are. your anxiety is lying to you about how much is "enough."
xoxo, mindy 🤍
leave a message after the tone…
submit your questions here!!
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vampyrixdarling · 2 days ago
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— 「𝑷𝑨𝒀𝑪𝑯𝑬𝑪𝑲 𝑾𝑰𝑻𝑯 𝑨 𝑷𝑨𝑹𝑻𝑵𝑬𝑹 𝑾𝑯𝑶 𝑰𝑺 𝑶𝑵 𝑻𝑯𝑬𝑰𝑹 𝑷𝑬𝑹𝑰𝑶𝑫」
╰┈➤ MASTERLIST
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Polyam!Elliot + Chance x AFAB! Reader (Gender Neutral)
Summary: How would they react to you being on your period?
Warnings: Periods, blood (obviously).
Note: wrote this on my period :( I decided to be extremely self-indulgent and put all of my personal experiences during the dreaded shark week into writing and cope with my fictional boyfriends. Oh, the joys of being a woman. Shoutout to my beta reader we argued over commas.
Word count: 1,380
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❥ ELLIOT has a younger sister, so he’s decently experienced in this sort of thing. He’s learned a few things from helping Mia with her period, so it’s not too different with you. There were a few times where Elliot would ask Mia for tips on how to help you and what not to do, and she’d warn him that it’s not always the same for everyone. Even so, she’d give him the best advice she could, and he’d apply that to you. He’s also prepared a few things beforehand, such as meals that take into account a mixture of your cravings and nutritious foods. He’s not too grossed out by it; he knows it’s natural.
⤷ If your cramps are too bad, Elliot would skillfully massage you. He’s well built — to nobody’s surprise — so it’s really not a problem for him. It’s effective, actually. He’d frequently check in on you, asking if the noises you were letting out were indeed from relief and satisfaction and not pain.
❥ CHANCE thinks it’s a little gross, but he’s not against helping you. It’s just the thought of blood coming out of… there… unsettles them. They understand it’s natural, but still. On the bright side, no matter how gross he thinks it is, that won’t deter him from cuddling you. If you need them, you need them. He’s not going to deprive you just because you’re bleeding.
⤷ Though, he is a bit tense when you two cuddle. He’d have to be the big spoon. And even then, he’s still as stiff as a board. But if it’s for you, and you enjoy the warmth they and the blanket provide, they’re willing to sacrifice a bit of comfort for you. It’s nothing against you, just… past experiences.
❥ If you didn’t want to talk to anyone, or simply couldn’t, Chance and Elliot would understand. They wouldn’t try to talk to you. Instead, Elliot would offer to lay in bed with you and cuddle you, behind you with one of his hands wrapped gently around your waist and the other hand just below your belly button, delivering gentle massages to the area.
⤷ In the case that Chance is fully comfortable with you, he’d be more than willing to join. You’d be sandwiched in between them: with Elliot in the front and Chance in the front with your legs wrapped around them as they place gentle kisses along your neck, whispering comforting words to you. Elliot and Chance would even pepper kisses all over your face. If you didn’t want any physical contact, the two of them would just lay with you in silence. Their presence alone would be enough for you.
⤷ If Chance hasn’t quite reached that stage yet, they’d still do whatever they could to make you feel loved. Even if he isn’t fully comfortable cuddling you, there are other things he can do. They would grab you a heating pad, bring you blankets, watch movies with you while they hold your hand. Ask him for anything and it’s done without another word. I think one of their love languages would be acts of service, and that shows prominently during this time.
❥ Chance and Elliot don’t get upset when you yell or scream at them, they don’t lash out when you act like the biggest bitch on planet earth. They’re patient with you. They’re kind and understanding. Sure, they’re hurt a little bit, but you’re in the worst pain they’ve ever seen you in. You get a pass, yeah?
❥ Chance would feel like he’s stepping on eggshells around you nonetheless. Don’t get them wrong, they’re always there to help you when you need something, whether that’s attempting to help Elliot make you food (it’s a 50/50 chance they fuck it up), giving you a glass of water, buying you your product of choice or buying you painkillers, or even cuddling. But with your mood swings? One wrong move and it’s off with his head. They’re easily nervous around you when you’re like this, but their poker face covers it really well. You wouldn’t know unless he wanted you to. They love you with all their heart, but your mood swings are no joke.
❥ Spade would let you hold him while you napped. Being an abnormally large rabbit, it’s safe to say he’s very, very nice to cuddle. The warm, soft fur would be a blessing to you. People always say that animals can sense when something is wrong, you assume it’s the same way with the continental giant.
❥ If the mix of bleeding and pain was so bad that you fainted, Elliot and Chance would be worried sick. They’d panic, and they would immediately take you to bed, or another soft surface. When you came to, you’d be greeted with food and water. Even if you insisted that you actually could not eat nor drink, they’d encourage you until you did. You’d know you were lightheaded by your entire head becoming cold, and the feeling that you couldn’t describe for the life of you. You close your eyes, and next thing you know, you’re on the ground when you swear you were standing just a moment ago. You don’t even remember falling. It’d happen anywhere. Standing from your bed, in the bathroom with the door locked, you name it. Safe to assume that you’ll always have one of them by your side just in case you faint again.
⤷ Elliot would work hard making you your favourite, healthy and nutritional snacks. If you fainted, clearly that means you lost too much blood and you lack iron. So he’s quickly making you a meal or drink that’s full of that. If you can’t eat solid foods, he’s making you soup. He’d also entertain your cravings.
❥ If the pain was so unbearable that you’d vomit everything you’ve eaten the past day (and more), they’d hold your hair back and rub slow, gentle circles on your back as they whispered comforting words into your ears, assuring you that you would be okay. If the nausea hit you when you were being too physical, they’d force you to take a break, lest the pain make you vomit.
❥ If you decided you wanted to attempt to sleep the period cramps away, they’d be confused. They wouldn’t understand why instead of taking painkillers which would help your pain go away, you’d attempt to sleep and hope for the best. But on the other hand, you do need rest. Elliot, though stubborn about this, stops protesting. You know your own body best, after all. If the cramps are still present when you’ve awoken from your nap, Elliot will hand you painkillers and a glass of water. You really don’t have a choice. No, you cannot sleep it off. No, you aren’t wasting painkillers. Yes, you really need these.
❥ If you were convinced that you couldn’t get out of bed, they wouldn’t protest. They’d give you a heating pad and bring you some snacks and water. They’d comfort you with each turn you made in the bed, whining and crying because “no position felt right.” They’d insist that you didn’t have to get up, even if you wanted to. They promised they could take care of everything around the house, run the errands that you couldn’t. Chance, despite being lazy and unmotivated, would take over your chores.
⤷ They’d go to the store and search for pads or tampons for you. They’d text you, sending pictures and asking you what specific type, size, and brand they should get. They would proceed to buy 2 packages. If you were craving anything specific, you didn’t need to ask them twice. Ice cream, chocolate, etc., Chance would pay for it no matter how expensive it was. Only the best for their good luck charm.
❥ They’re patient and understanding with you while you’re all hormonal. Your emotions are all over the place, switching frequently, yet they still try their best for you. Even if you’re crying because you can’t screw open a container, or angry because you can’t get an inch of quiet. Luckily for the three of you, the second day isn’t that bad. And by the third, you’re practically already feeling like yourself. But that doesn’t mean they’ll stop checking in on you or offering to do things.
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adastra121 · 1 day ago
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There have been many changes to Jin’s daily routine since arriving in Eridia — alas, an alchemist’s work never ends. 🧪📖📚
If you wanted to take a look at my other OCs’ daily schedules:
Luneth’s Daily Schedule
Alon’s Daily Schedule
#and last but not least — here's jin's daily schedule!#touchstarved#touchstarved game#touchstarvedgame#red spring studio#redspringstudio#touchstarved alchemist#touchstarved oc#my oc#myoc#jin the alchemist#jin the abandoned alchemist#traditional art#scrapbooking#myart#my art#image description in alt#I think out of all of the mcs jin's was the most work because of all the different elements like the pressed flowers and wax seal stamps#unfortunately I don't have a lot of knick knacks around my home for an alchemist's work desk.#I gathered what I could for the second photo's set up like old journals. an hourglass. pretty bottles. rocks from my crystal collection.#the crystals include quartz amethyst and tiger eye. tiger eye is jin's representative gemstone!#though the tiger eye that's more fitting for him would be more golden than reddish brown like the one I have#I actually made the envelope in the second photo. I wanted to add it to the daily schedule but it was too big so it became a prop instead#maybe I'll use it again for something else in the future.#I tried to include elements of both his love interests in the second photo. the green gold and black journal and room key for leander.#the feather wax seal stamp on the envelope and the bird charm for ais. i imagine jin would write kind messages to him#I think that chibi of jin's the first time I'm posting a drawing of him smiling. his and luneth's are my favourite chibis.#I'm happy with jin's excited rambling chibi. he's doing the “um actually” pose. XD kind of want to stick it on every fun fact I come across
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