#I am fragile okay
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Does this story need to be published ? Is it not enough to have it written down in my laptop?
Does this story need to be written down? Is it not enough to have it simply live in my head?
#because publishing means people judging#and am not very good with criticism#constructive and destructive can fuck itself before it can fuck me#I am fragile okay#like Mimosa pudica#love me#appreciate me#validate me but from distance
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goodnight, sweet prince
#so guys how we feeling after last nights stream (puts the gun to my head)#btw i cant draw honeycomb so thats why her . uh. temporary grave. is flowers now. sorgy#artistic liberty strikes me in the forehead like a homing missile and i go Yes Okay Alright Lets do it but also im scared of others opinion#so please dont tell me anyhign if you think im stupid okay i have a fragile heart adn ego and i AM stupid but its mean to call me that#🖼️ oz draws#princezam#lifesteal smp
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you don't have to grieve alone
#shadowsight#rootspring#root is obviously grieving bris but we don't talk enough about shadowsight#how he spent his whole life thinking he was special and chosen by starclan#only to find out he was just easy to manipulate and he never had the connection he thought he had#i imagine it would take some time to recover from that sense of loss#shadowroot#rootshadow#my art#anyway i am alive. accidentally drew this instead of cooking dinner bc i still love these cats#low key dealing with grief of my own. feeling pretty fragile atm but it'll be okay. i am gonna go get dinner after posting this tho lmao#i haven't been drawing much lately bc i've been more invested in another franchise while wc main series is kinda.... on hiatus in a sense#i know we just got a graphic novel but obviously it's just the first arc again which... idk man i've read that already. many times lol#and i know we're getting a super edition before hidden moon and i am looking forward to it#but man it already feels like it's been ages since i read the elders' quest and we still got half a year to go til the next book#so i took a break i guess. but MAN i need to at least draw more! it feels good. when it works
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ok but let's be real, why does Wesker look adorable when he kisses Jordan in any way,,,
like, the way you draw him kissing her, your dbd post with the neck kiss?? he's so gentle what,,,
where's this monster I hear about, hm? I only see deprived husband showing affection for wife he doesn't see due to suspiciously tentacle like creature barrier (the entity)
WHHFYQHFJFJHAJAJAJ oh my god this is so sweet .. no literally.. this compelled me to fill out a kiss chart i found on pinterest
#they all look kinda weird but i am tired so its okay#i think dbd wesker would be more clingy than regular wesker bc he never gets to see his wife#dont let that fool you though shes still getting sacrificed for that perfect 4k he doesnt want a stain on his record LMAO#i always try to draw their kisses super tender like to show that love between them#so im glad u noticed !!! he handles her like a fragile doll which is ironic bc emotionally … uhh… yea.#thank you for the ask/req !! <333#resident evil#albert wesker#oc x canon#resident evil oc#biohazard#oc#re oc#biohazard oc#fengshuioc#fengshuispeaks#jordan manalang#jordsker
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i like that we see hints of a sort of intuitive rapport in this scene between mensah and pin-lee! that little forearm touch especially made me go 👀👀
#murderbot tv show#murderbot spoilers#murderbot tv#murderbot gifs#gifs#they way they react to and interact with each other here is so lovely#other moments in the first two eps with them did kinda take me aback/disappoint me like writing-wise i think#it seems like maybe their working relationship is kind of new in the show and p-l is only just coming to start to respect mensah#i wanted p-l to be a little pining and deferential/respectful and it was hard to see them so harsh on mensah in multiple moments#esp since they were so sweet with various other chars.. why are they so aggro/rude and argumentative with her specifically? :(#like okay because they feel comfortable doing so but..that feels..? esp since mensah feels kinda fragile it's hard to watch a little for me#like ik they are stressed but. okay anyway also i am new to gifset making so i'm trying to get better but if these suck i am sorry 😭😭😭#anyway i really hope things will be better between them interpersonally in future eps. i need more of this kinda stuff!! 🥺💛#btw the acting is amazing!! mensah obviously is perfect in every way. & pin-lee is so perfectly acted despite writing elements that i like#a bit less. but like it is so clear that tv pin-lee feels and thinks in a very similar way to book p-l which is super cool#it's just the handling of the interpersonal stuff/dialogue that made me have a kneejerk what happened to my blorbo moment i think#eta okay i have more thoughts and i may write a fic about it but i think some of it is a parallel & contrast with p-l's dynamic with arada#and illustrating that p-l has an immature/unhealthy way of navigating power dynamics/people having diff forms of power over them#and it's easy/safer to push back against mensah (p-l not knowing abt mensah's anxiety or seeing self as harmful/rude) but not with arada..
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RealAgeAu Drabble - Shopping
I am back at it again because I had ideas. (don't worry friend @spotaus things are being planned and I got many many ideas :3 but before those happen stuff needs to be established and put in place!)
I was debating between like four different drabble ideas but settled on this one. Something calming for a bit :)
First Drabble Prev Drabble Next Drabble
as always. No editing and no beta.
*-------------------*
Dust shoots Killer another glare as he holds Nightmare clsoer "I mean it Killer. get out of my blindspot. It is getting annoying."
Nightmare looks from Dust to Killer and sees the large grin on Killer's face as he skips after Dust and Nightmare "Nah. I think it is good i am here because it is your blindspot!"
Dust grumbles as he holds Nightmare clsoer. Nightmare just pushes his skull under Dust's chin as he listens to the two bicker. Dust gives him a quick nuzzle before shooting Killer another glare "Why are you even here?" Killer still has a large grin on his face "I am backup!"
Dust groans "I am getting Nightmare clothes."
Killer nods as he follows them "backup!"
Dust huffs before looking back at Nightmare. Nightmare sees the glare disappear from his face as Dust lets out a sigh before smiling at Nightmare "makes you start to wonder who helped who out of getting stuck in a wall."
Killer gasps loudly "That only happened a few times!"
Ngihtmare grins and laughs as he leans fully against Dust again. He likes being held by Dust and Dust must like it too because he always holds him.
Nightmare figured it was because his spine is fragile and walking for too long starts to bother him but Dust still just holds him. always. Maybe he also likes being close like this?
Thoguht Nightmare isn't sure what Dust gets out of it but he must really like something abut the close contact.
They walk past another few people who look at them. Nightmare shoots a glance as Dust and Killer continue to bicker. They seem to shoot Dust and him worried looks but chuckle once they realise that Dust and Killer are just doing their way of bonding.
Nightmare always thought the flirting between those two was weird but then again he thought most things dating was weird. Maybe because he was still a child in his soul...
Not that it matters.
Nightmare shoots a glance and spots Killer grinning widely as his soul is clearly in soulshape and looks stable. Dust may have an annoyed look on his face but he has a tiny smile on his face.
Nightmare hides his face in Dust's sweater but he can't hide the purr. He wants them to be happy. They are happy even with him near.
Dust notices of course nad gives him another nuzzle "comfy? Spine okay?"
Nightmare nods "Yeah."
Dust hums to signal he heard him but still rubs his back.
They finally stop near one of the smaller houses which is the clothing shop for this town.
Dust tilts his skull as Killer snorts "oh that is adorable. ready to dress Nightmare as a tiny old man?" he grins
Dust shoots Killer a glare "It isn't that bad..." then he looks at the store "just... a bit old fashioned..." he looks at him "That okay?"
Nightmare nods before shrugging "I don't get why i need new things..."
Dust sighs. Killer leans on Dust's other shoulder and shoots him a wink "Because you are still wearing Dust's things. and quite honestly. Dusty does not have a large enough wardrobe to dress both of you."
Nightmare frowns as he pushes clsoer to Dust. He doesn't mind wearing stuff them them. It are things that are well worn and soft and smell of them and old laundry detergent.
Dust nuzzles his skull "It will be nice. You can check what you like and what feels nice and is comfortable."
Nightmare frowns "it is expensive." which is another reason why he doesn't want to get anything.
Dust frowns and Killer quickly answers "That is a worry for us. And Dusty said it is fine so it is fine." he grins.
Dust nods "made some money. more than enough to get you some things."
Nightmare wants to disagree more but Dust walks into the store.
The inside isn't like he thought it would be. there is actually quite a number of nice looking things and looks more modern than you would think from the outside.
DUst makes a pleased sound before smiling smugly "Seems like they were just showing off the knitwear because it is autumn." he shoots Killer a look "Almost as if i did my research and knew it would be okay here." and he walks further into the store.
Killer sputters before following them "I know that Dusty! You always do that! I was just joking around!" he pouts but doesn't offer anything. Really just a shadow. It reminds Nightmare a bit about how it was before. Killer beign his right hand and always by his side to help and protect him. It still feels different now and even when thinking back to those memories they feel different.
Killer spots him looking at him and grins before wriggling his phalanges in a tiny wave at him. Nightmare huffs and pushes back closer to Dust.
Dust is looking through some clothes on the hanger "Stop bothering Nightmare." he pulls something off and looks it over critically. he holds it up for him to inspect and Nightmare just shrugs.
Killer pouts as he crosses his arms "Just having fun. And tiny boss is fine with it!" he grins at him "Right nighty?"
Nightmare shrugs. he doens't mind. it is nice.
Dust rolls his eye lights and doesn't look at Killer "Even if he is fine with is safe it for later. first buying clothes. Then you can tire him out."
Nightmare huffs and grumbles. he doesn't need tiring out. he is perfectly fine. Dust holds up another sweater and he shrugs again.
"Oh hello there dears! Can you find it all?"
Killer nad Dust turn and Nightmare feels Dust freeze for a moment. Yeah not a surprise because the woman looks a lot like Toriel. But Nightmare doubts it is the her of this universe. The closer he looks the more this woman seems like a sheep monster.
Killer and Dust must see it too as Killer grins "Pretty much! but we got it!"
Dust shoots him a look "Killer knock it off." he looks at the lady "We are looking for stuff for the little guy."
The lady smiles sweetly "Oh! You two must be two of Sans- I am sorry, Crop's friends!" she looks them over and her gaze lingers on Dust for a moment before settling on Nightmare. Nightmare can't stop the instinct of holding on tighter to Dust. He doesn't like having stranger's gazes on him.
The smiles sweetly "I can see the resemblance! You must be very proud of such a young handsome little boy!"
Dust looks to the side and shrugs but his hold on him tightens. Killer snorts, which is fair as they aren't actually related. Maybe she just sees the resemblance before Nightmare now looks much more like a tiny swap sans, as that was the original form his mother used to craft their bodies. And Dust is the one of the four that still resemblance who he used to be.
At elast Nightmare assumes that is why people think they see a resemblance. That or they are just racists and think all skeletons look alike.
the woman smiles "I am sure there is something fitting for him. Do you need any help?"
Killer's laugh turns cold as he smiles widely "No thanks! We got this!"
Dust rolls his eye lights and nudges him in the side "Stop it." he looks back to the lady "I was wodnering what the... organisation was. I wanted to look at stuff his size..." and he looks at the things he had been looking at with a glare.
The sheep monster looks a bit paler after Killer's interaction but smiles sweetly at Dust. "It is a bit of a mixmatch. Of all the stuff that is handmade it only has a few of each size. you will have to guestimate those. The imported clothes are by the walls, those have more standard sizing."
Dust nods "I see." and he starts walking towards the side first to check the sizing.
Killer grins as he leans close and whispers "Holding a babybones does wonders for making you look approachable"
Dust shoots him a glare and hisses "One word and I will put you in a wall myself." and he stomps over towards the clothes.
Nightmare still doens't understand why Killer thinks that kinda flirting is efficient but what does he know.
Dust is clearly unimpressed with the clothing offered with the more standard design and fabric. but they use it to figure out which size he is before moving towards the handmade stuff.
DUst and Nightmare check what is nice and soft as Killer shadows them. Staying nearby and pretty much glaring at anyone who as much as glances in their direction.
They end up settling for two big sweaters and some sweats. They wait by the cash register as Dust has picked him up again.
The nice woman smiles at them "That will be 140!" she smiles.
Killer winces at the price and Nightmare pushes closer to Dust "I don't need two." wool sweaters are expensive...
Dust shrugs as he looks at Killer "Be usefull and hold him for a moment." and Ngihtamre feels hismelf be handed over to Killer. Dust takes out some cash from his inventory and counts quickly before putting most of the stash he had on the counter "That should be enough." he stashes whatever is left.
The lady counts it and smiles as she puts it away. She packs it in a bag and holds it out to Dust "Thank you for shopping! And Can I just say it is lovely to see such a devoted father."
Dust shrugs and mutters a thanks before shooting Killer a warning look.
Killer grins as he nuzzles Nightmare "How are you this huggable tiny boss?"
Nightmare shrugs but holds unto Killer. Killer is also nice to be held by.
They leave the store together and walk back towards the parking lot. Something about meeting up again to go back to Crop's farm. Nightmare isn't really sure. He is already getting tired again adn he mumbles unhappily.
Killer purrs and coos "It is okay tiny boss. babybones need their sleep and rest after all."
Dust nods "Shopping is always busy." he shoots Killer a glare "Why is why i didn't want you to get him tired or overwhelmed."
Killer groans "Yeah yeah you were right. you are always right. can i go back to nuzzlign the baby now?"
Dust looks considerate before nodding "You may."
Killer grins and the nuzzles resume and Nightmare wants to pout and push him off but it is so nice and he can feel himself start to relax as he starts to purr again.
He likes it when his family holds him.
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First Drabble Prev Drabble Next Drabble
#realageau#utmv#nightmare sans#deaged nightmare#dust sans#killer sans#What is this?! An actual lore reason why Nightmare is carried all the time and everywhere?!#aside from the fact everyone wants to hold and snuggle the baby#the baby also has a really bad and fragile spine and walking and putting weight on that is a bad idea. so they minimalise it unless it is i#a safe area where they can monitor it easily. like at home or the temp base they set up!#outside though is not safe so it is time to 'Hold Baby'#Nightmare is A-okay with it!#Nightmare is also aware all these four disasters kinda flirting and being interested in one another but doesn't get the big deal#Look this baby lived together with those four while nightmare was still an empath#There is no way he WOULDN'T know#Just something a bit sweet and nice to relax after the other drabbles :3#Also don't worry about them starting to physically resemble one another! After all! I am sure soul adopting a baby doens't have consequence#especially not if said baby is a god! :D
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Not to get mushy but. Have you thought about how lucky we all are for being here right now? Like, how many of us struggled so hard before, to the point of nearly giving up? And yet we're here??
What are the odds of a bunch of random weirdos all over the world happen to get into the same bands, and be active in a equally weird, supposedly "dead" social media, at the same time? And just happen to be "just" brave enough to talk to someone, and another one, and another one?
I mean really. Have you thought about it? This just doesn't really happen like that. There's so many of you I consider genuine friends. So many of us that have or will meet irl. Like??? Hello ??? This is crazy!! Genuinely bonkers!!! Idk man, I'm super in my feels and I appreciate tf out of you all.
I mean, wow. How lucky I am to be here right now and be your friend. Yall are so neat and cute and interesting and cool and precious, like WOW. I'm glad we made it so far guys. Let's be alive for a long time 🥹💙
#i'm thinking about the VERY SPECIFIC conditions that had to happen for me to be here#and it's crazy. almost impossible really.#idk guys. not to be annoying again about clancy but i'm being SO healed right now#also I'm on the bus and it makes me contemplate life a lot#also I'm on my period so obviously i get 1000x more mushy#aaaaaaaa sorry i'm listening to the album and having a little cry on the bus and the sun is shining and there's butterflies on the dash#yall are so awesome for being alive despite it all. i am too.#i love you guys ugh#🥺💖🫂#SORRY TO BE IN MY FEELS AGAIN. CLANCY IS BITING ME IN THE ASS. Also that video of Vessel letting the crowd sing Euclid????#I CANNOT HANDLE IT I'M TOO FRAGILE RIGHT NOW#anyways. round of applause to anyone reading this. even if we never talked before. you're so cool and smell great and things will be okay 🖤
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this is a habit i'm beginning the process of breaking, but i was never a fan of a lot of insults or heavy language used as banter in relationships, romantic or not.
i was raised in a household where it was really common, whether or not you reciprocated or wanted it ( and verbal abuse, with or without prompting ), and i dealt with a bit of it in school before going virtual. even now, my family and i still engage with it. it's not nearly as bad as it was before, but i realize that i don't want to directly or indirectly be the cause of someone's insecurities, especially not with the people i care about.
yes, i know banter is normal, even with language, but... i dunno.
for years, i was hurt by being called things like 'annoying', 'crybaby', 'copycat', grew up with my family talking about me behind my back, was labeled as a disease by people i thought were my friends as a 'joke', amongst other things.
and i have hurt people by the words i've said, multiple times, no matter if it was unintentional. most of the time, it was. but it doesn't take away the fact that i hurt someone.
it's another reason why i don't like c//a and, maybe a little bit of a hot take(?) amongst this community, i don't mind amity's 180. catra's verbal abuse and amity's bullying give me memories i'd rather not remember, but have to deal with. it's why i don't often write relationships the way that might be typically expected.
this isn't to say i will never expect other people to act differently, of course. i know there will be others who disagree, who are completely fine and healthy with their banter with someone else, however vulgar, and that's perfectly fine.
i may be fragile or soft for this, but i'm okay with that. i want to be someone who my younger self needed. someone who would encourage me, support me, and love me without hurting me.
and, no, i don't believe it's impossible to love someone without pain. it just takes work, like everything else.
#relationship talk#relationships#trauma awareness#trauma recovery#mental health#mental health awareness#mental health support#if you're fragile it's okay#i am too🤍#spop#she ra#spop critical#spop salt#anti catra#anticatra#anti catradora#anticatradora#lumity#lumity toh
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liking canon is literally a death sentence in any fandom
#i believe in a lot of live and let live fandom ideas but i am weak and fragile when people use that as their shield for#posting incorrect takes as analysis. like ooookay this completely ignores the canonical themes.#'but i can do what i want!!!' okay. but.#why are you framing nonsense like its interpretation and not 'having fun and making stuff up'.#lawlllllll#two things can be true at once like fandom is meaner than it used to be but also people have worse media literacy than ever#and just say shit that is antithetical to the most basic ideas of canon#anyway. im tearing my hair out always#humanity media its just me and you out here and im holding you gently as everyone around me spews the stupidest shit
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okay actually citadel dlc combat is evil. one bar of health. no medi-gel. a single pistol. 90000000 disruption drones to break through your shields. 2000000 enemies, including snipers. they don't just throw ONE grenade at a time, they throw TEN. no amount of newfound pistol proficiency is getting me through this
#i have been playing on hardcore and this is perhaps the ONLY moment i have regretted it#I AM A FRAGILE INFILTAROR WITH NO SNIPER RIFLE TAKE PITY#like the clone fight is hard but at least you have FRIENDS for that one#also ashley on the comms did make me laugh. ''what you woke up on the CRAZY side of the bed this morning?''#rosie plays games kinda okay
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so like I know it’s a given that the bottomless pit of aggrieved cruelty has to stay inside, forever, because that’s my bottomless pit of aggrieved cruelty, but also nobody appreciates the self-destructive breakdown I am not having and the contextless-only-by-force-of-will profanity-laden rant I am not posting
#and i could be so good at turning my fragility into a weapon but that's not okay when *i* do it. i don't do it often enough#when i do it it's a betrayal#sorry. sorry. i'm going to go get my evil space wizards and find one to dump this into now#because i am a tar pit and i'd like not to be#the thing that touched this off is minor actually. but it's part of a whole pattern#just. uh. if you think something major happened it didn't i'm just having a Personality Disorder Moment#it is. so difficult to not start shouting about things that are almost context
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mylo vanderskid arcane, when it was actually him and not a hallucination, didn't call powder a jinx from a place of personal insecurity, as at no point in show does he come off as threatened by the skills she does have. he had a valid point obscured by the fact that he was a stupid teenager untrained in the skill of logical debate, alongside a long-burning personal frustration leading him to get mean in the way he framed the subject. post-timeskip, everything about mylo's deeper point about jinx's behavior is proven true in acts 2 and 3 of season 1 as it comes up again and again as something silco himself struggles with in keeping his political grip on zaun. in this essay i
#arcane#arcane season 1#jinx arcane#mylo arcane#(he was trying to point out how powder going off by herself instead of helping the group consistently leads to collateral damage)#(and how even those like him who aren't good at things like combat are expected to at least TRY)#(when it comes to contributing the the group and making sure everyone turns out safe)#(versus powder who was consistently focused on herself even if there were people around she loved and didn't want hurt)#(and if the problem is that she's too little to take an actual punch and get back up after. well.)#(that makes it clear she's not ready yet)#(honestly the IDEAL scenario for leaving Powder out of the warehouse fight)#(would have been to tell her that she has her own important task:)#(keeping an eye on Ekko and making sure he's okay seeing as Benzo just died)#(unfortunately undercity kids aren't exactly taught how to use social finesse in their interactions)#(and vi mixed up being supportive with enabling)#(which is a big reason why Powder was so emotionally fragile at that point)#(i'm saying this as someone with mental illness and who was really similar to powder as a kid btw)#(in no way am i trying to blame jinx for her mental health issues or trauma)
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Ok so um. Eventful first day. I have a blended schedule so i have short school days
Everyone is chill in algebra 1 nd academic literature ,,
History and english arw gonna be a bit of a problem cuz the 16-18 yr old boys are. Yknow. Probably gonna annoy me to death
And uhh homeroom is just homeroom
I masked really hard though nd came home sobbing just cuz im not gonna be used to masking again in a school setting,,
#sydneys thoughts#Look i know i got over my bullies from the past few years and all#But it might be a bit difficult if the problem persists again#I already have a fragile self esteem i am not ready to experience cyberbullying making fun of my looks and behavior#Hhhhh#If i dont like it ill just consider dropping out cuz i can't go back online nd that's my only better option yet its taken away from me now#Sorry a bit of a rant um Im Fine i suppose i just feel really emotional over having to explain my disability over and over and over.and +#+ stillbeing treated like im stupid#Like okay i get it you think im stupid what else do you expect#Sorry#Might not be myself much recent now im just extremely emotional over masking and being picked on again
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omfg I can’t believe for 7 years of my life, I believed Reigen was his first name and Arataka his last
nobody talk to me, I learned the truth yesterday and I’m still not over it
#doctorsiren#not art#siren speaks#in my defense#I’m stupid /silly#LOOK OKAY LOOK IN THE DUB THEY ALWAYS SAY REIGEN ARATAKA#BUT THEY ALSO SAY SHIGEO KAGEYAMA (i think?) SOOOO’]#AND NOT KAGEYAMA SHIGEO#unless I’m stupid and I’m wrong about that#IN WHICH CASE DO NOT CORRECT ME OR I IWLL CRY I AM A FRAGILE MAN#don’t bully me…or correct me…or do anything#man I’m so embarrassed still LMAO????#also katsuya ?? my dumb self thought serizawa was also his first name OKAY IM NOT SMART#it’s like Edgeworth and Wright but if I believed those were their first names because they only called each other that#Y’know what I have a few friends who only go by their last names and I like that for him#Reigen just feels right 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
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Me: yeah I'm totally over the betrayal in Skeleton Crew I'm not taking it overly personally at all
Also me: *names the Haman character in my Esther retelling short story after one of Jude Law's other roles*
#because i'm convinced that every role he plays is evil please don't try and convince me otherwise right now#i am in a fragile state. still might spend 35 dollars on books probably won't though#MY POINT REMAINS#skeleton crew spoilers#land of the tales#hazel rambles about her original writing#(okay fine he's probably not evil in everything. let me process this in my own way)
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What is actually happening 😭 Everyone needs to stop overthinking over whatever it is!
Hey! Brains are m e a n okay?! It has been a crappy few days!! We overthinkers KNOW we need to stop overthinking!! its HARD
#i am much better#but am i still unsure about making sure everything is okay because im scared of shattering the fragile peace and fucking it all up#again?#yes#very much so#but it’s just#very hard okay
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