#I am just trying to get rid of a lot of ramblings in my docs

[hungergameshyperfixation]

(Quietly posting this here from one of my HG docs lmao. This was from a bit ago but still recent enough2)

SotR/HG Music project:

My idea was to use this page as a masterdoc of all the songs/music that remind me of certain characters/scenarios. How it will work is in the following hierarchy: Broad/full list of songs, specific playlists, hyper-specific playlist, and (sometimes) a song-specific breakdown blurb as to why I associate it with a certain situation/character. 

For example: 

“War” by the Hypnotic Brass Ensemble would be just straight listed in the “broad/full list” as unequivocally associated with THG. I could also choose to put it in a specific playlist, like “74th Hunger Games/The original trilogy films.” AND I could even go further to put it in an even more hyper-specific playlist, like an au playlist or something like “songs that haunt Katniss Everdeen.” 

Does this make sense? I hope it does lmao. But anyway, I could also list a blurb for the song in any one of those previous categories, if I wanted to further elaborate as to why I think “War” would ‘haunt Katniss Everdeen.’

Other things to note: Just because I write a blurb for a song and my HG associations with it in one playlist/context, it doesn’t mean that’s my only association attached to the song. Like, just because I can see and would list “Too Sweet” by Hozier in a Hayffie playlist doesn’t mean I ONLY see it as Hayffie. I hope that makes sense too. 

I think if you’re engaging with this, you’ll get the gist. 

‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊

Playlist name to listen along: “Random Hunger Games songs list V1” 

(I’ll hopefully put these songs in their own playlists, but for now I’m fighting off imperfection tendencies so this is what we’re getting lmao) 

•”Too Sweet” (Hozier) Hayffie yeah but also potentially Haydove (depending on the dynamics we get). THOUGH I still maintain that “Too Sweet” is probably reserved for older Haymitch only. Gosh I can’t believe we live in a timeline where I’m going to have to distinguish between “young Haymitch” and “older/adult Haymitch.” 

•”Happy Together” (by Gerard Way) Haydove. Yeah. Maybe I’ll explain some more, but for now all I want to say is that I feel this SO strongly. It’s the middle schooler in me who is imagining SUCH a vivid animatic to this song. ARE YOU KIDDING. The beginning starts off with young Haydove, then at the end (or throughout the song) it showcases the contrast between young Haymtich and post SotR Haymitch. UGH the happiness and tragedy of it all. Y’ALL HAVE TO SEE THE VISION RIGHT. 

•”Sweater Weather” by The Neighbourhood. The bisexuality of it all. Not directly applies to the canon storyline (the lyrics don’t really line up with any story elements that I can latch onto) BUT the vibes. I could see this attached to a Haydove / Haymitch / Lenore Dove / Maysilee / Mrs Everdeen, etc etc etc edit. Basically just a SotR / Haymitch’s generation edit; any of the characters from that era would fit an edit here imo. I’m really going back to my 2017-2019 roots with this one, I’m ngl. This song is just a staple in the editing sphere, from when I was a part of it kinda. Mrs Everdeen edit goes hard here. ALSO a Finnick, Annie, or Johanna edit too!!

•“Cupid’s Chokehold” by Gym Class Heroes. Not my favorite song tbh, but YEAH i see the “young love” parallels and the general ‘sweet puppy love’ vibes. This COULD be what we see with Lenore Dove and Haymitch. I could see the tiktokification audio being used over a quick animatic regarding Haymitch and Lenore Dove. “Take a look at my girlfriend, she’s the only one I got” THAT part specifically. 

•”Dancing in the Moonlight” au. This kinda fits an au, or just post-war life. Katniss, Peeta, Haymitch…the vibes are there. I love this song so I’m biased, but I think you could apply it in this context and it can almost have a bittersweet undercurrent to it. It’s all about framing in context. 

•”We didn’t start the fire” I’m being so deadass don’t call me cringe but I could see a broader message edit with this one. Like, “We didn’t start the fire” edit of THG, specifically the politics (yes I know how hypocritical/ironic it is to be suggesting a form of media that serves to entertain people when the source specifically criticizes that very thing in political contexts). But come on. Just for funsies. Once again, this is partially me just liking the song, but the messages/ideas in the song are so fun to play and engage with. GUYS. Especially imagine a sequential “edit” to this song that specifically focuses on the cyclical nature the stories in Panem highlight (starting from Tbosas, then SOTR, then the trilogy and culminating with Coin’s death and Katniss and all that). You see it right. 

•”End of Beginning” by Djo. Yeah I’m hitting all the very popular songs but bear with me. I’m not a huge fan of tiktok edits tbh (i’m no hater though, they’re harmless). BUT THE SOTR/HAYMITCH TIKTOK EDIT TO THIS SONG IS GOING TO GO SO HARD IN LATE 2026/2027 AFTER WE GET THE FILM. I think it’s been easily understandable throughout the songs listed, but I’m going based on vibes and messaging. This song deals with time, change, identity, location–and experiences tied to location; all things that can be universally applied to a LOT of things (especially in storytelling, that’s like some of the basic foundational concepts explored in story lmao) and I think could especially hit the mark with THG/SotR (and Haymitch specifically). 

•“Feel it Still.” Trust me on this one just trust me. 

•”Accidentally In Love” Maysilee and Haymtich, au kinda thing. I can see it. And Hayffie I guess. I’m a multi-shipper, but I won’t lie Haydove is (probably) going to be my main pairing I’m rooting for. But “accidentally in love” by title alone kinda fits the idea with Haysilee. Accidentally falling in love in the arena. “Falling in love” with your ally.

ALSO EVERLARK. Truly an Everlark ngl. 

•”Black Sheep” (Scott Pilgrim song 💀Brie Larson). I just see a Maysilee and Haymitch edit. Mostly just the beginning part. Contrasting vibes. Highlighting their differences and all that shit. Vibes mostly. 

•”After the War (Catradora song)” by Reinaeiry (on YouTube). Katniss, Peeta, and Everlark. Those are all like separate interpretations if that makes sense lmao. 

•”No Good Deed” (Wicked). Katniss and Haymitch respectively. Of course. The ideas of loss 

•”Lovely night” (La la land). Haysilee; hate to say it but it fits them so well. 

•”You’re Gonna Go Far, Kid” (The Offspring). An EXTREMELY Haymitch coded song—young Haymitch, specifically. This also applies to Katniss. Katniss and Haymitch specifically. I feel this so strongly LMAO. This song is theirs. 

•”Day ‘N’ Nite” (Kid Cudi). Haymitch.  Need I say more?

•”Bring me to life” (Evanescence) Katniss—this one’s mostly just for fun lmao. But, if you take the song seriously…the lyrics apply. 

•”Blood // Water” was taken so seriously when I first got into the editing sphere in middle school lmao, and I’m ngl if I didnt have nostalgia filter, I might think differently of this song. But. Despite the moments where I think it’s a little corny. The lyrics are kinda-sometimes adjacent to some of the ideas presented in THG. 

And the one part (you probably know the one) hits. It was a popular “editing audio” for awhile.

I actually think that if your suspension of disbelief is intact, the song is actually so fitting for THG. 

[taegularities]

Hello, lovely Rid 💕💕

I'm here to ramble to you about your ramble in response to my ramble lmao.

First of all, we really do think alike apparently, because I also checked the wordcount of my feedback before sending it and it's probably the longest one I've ever written and will ever write. Even without all of the quotes it's like over 2k words, I really don't know how to shut up 😭😭😭

Thank you so much for taking so much care to write such a thoughtful response, Rid 🥺🥺🥺 I always love reading your responses to feedback, and not only my own, because everyone points out different things and you give even more insight into the story and your writing process. I can just read about your stories forever, even when it comes to commentary about them.

I watched the mv for 'when you're gone' and I totally agree with you that that scene matches OC's mood in the beginning of the chapter very well 😔😔😔 It also matches the way I was reading the Valentine’s day drabble, smiling at how adorable they were when I knew how we left off in cmi6. I've said it before but I'll say it again, the thing that hurts the most is knowing how happy they're able to make each other and seeing how they're now hurting each other instead 😭😭😭

Also about the rambling to my sister lmao. Cmi is the first fic I've properly talked to her about (she reads fanfic too, just not bts ones) and I was fully ranting to her about how Jungkook was keeping everything in and trying to be strong until he couldn't anymore, and now he's ignoring OC, I don't think I've ever ranted so much even about a real life person lmao. I might have not painted him in the best light because of how mad I was though 😔😔😔 But I probably will just ramble about how cute he is to her later on when everything works out 😌😌😌

Also also everyone has been adding onto the sadness and angst here and I don't know how they do it, because every time I even think about OC with someone else or just them being even sadder I want to cry lmao. But I still love reading everybody adding to the chaos, I can't lie.

Last but definitely not least, I feel like I haven't properly checked in on you in a few days, so how are you doing, Rid? 🥺🥺🥺

I MISSED YOU (she says after just 2 days lol), honestly, i was gonna shoot you an ask today lmao but since you're here, i can just say it now: i hope you're doing well! how's school going? <3

2k even without the quotes? i don't deserve you fr 😭 no but seriously, i copied it into a doc, and thought, kay, must be around 2k, like all of it (which is already a lot) BUT 5.7K.... and it was like 10 pages long !! i went "awwh" out loud 😭

and thank you 🥺 i was even thinking of making a smol commentary one day, when i've got the time, bc i could talk about them forever 😭 i really love reading everyone's reviews and theories, bc sometimes it makes me rethink things that i didn't consider even while writing.

ikr? i spent my teenage years crying to 'when you're gone', and i kinda remembered the song when you pointed out that 'he can be comfort even now' bit :( and you're actually so right. might argue that it hurts even more to relate it to the vday drabble.. especially, considering what's still to come.

hahaha i get it 😭 after that chapter, it was hard to hold a high opinion of him, bc he did kinda fuck up :// but yes, i promise you, there are gonna be scenes and chapters that are so fluffy, it'll be almost disgusting, really. it's so cute that you ranted about it to your sister hahaha i really love that you're so invested 🥺

I KNOW! it's amazing how everyone was ready to jail me for all the angst... yet, they keep coming up with scenarios and songs that break me for good 😂 i wasn't as much in pain when i posted the chapter as i am now hahahah

ahh i'm okay, ivi, thank you for asking! i think the biggest reason for my bleh mood was that i'm... very bored. i've been feeling pretty unproductive since i took this super long break after graduation and quit my last job. which is why i'm lowkey excited (but also very scared lol) to start my semester next week and my job in may! will join you in your academic misery hahah but yeah. i'll be busier, but i'm looking forward to it, bc i do like being busy! hope you're all good, too 🥺🤍

[drivingsideways]

In your experience, how much can a fic really improve after a shitty first draft? I can never just make myself keep writing without editing because I always think: the better the first draft, the better the final product :(

Hi! 

First a disclaimer: I am not the best editor! I hate it! When the first draft is done,  my impulse is to get “rid” of the story as fast as I can; I often feel emotionally done with the fic before I’m actually done with fixing it, even at like, basic proof- reading level. And that’s something I’m trying to fix as a writing process, but I don’t always succeed. The luxury of fanfic writing is that it’s so low stakes that you can do this, and feel only a mild pinch of conscience. 

Anyway, trufax: I don’t have the kind of patience that @rain-hat has for revisions. And I can see the difference in the quality of the fic! So this is why I’m trying to internalize and nurture within myself some discipline and patience.  

So this “first draft only has to exist” rule is really something I currently use when I’m feeling particularly stuck. Which happens a lot, especially when writing long fics, or feeling that my fic is getting out of hand. (As I write this, I’m side-eyeing my current WIP where I really want to write just That One Scene, but I’m finding myself writing 5k words of back story to get there.) 

Anyways!  I think the point of first drafts- they are allowed to be shitty. Second, I don’t think first drafts are actually first drafts in the sense that they’re not just top of the head, no filter brain to paper/ word doc writing! It’s just the first version of the story where it’s completed in the most basic sense, but within it lies many “drafts” that you’ve discarded along the way. 

Ok, so first, the different ways in which first drafts are shitty. There are so many. 

There’s the kind where at some point you realize that ohhh, a key plot point is resting on something totally unworkable/ untenable even within the universe of your fic, forget “real life.”  This is probably something you should fix straight up, as you write, because otherwise you end up with a lot of rewriting and midnight cursing.

Then there’s the kind where  you’ve got midway or even three-fourths through your initial plan, and  it feels patchy and incoherent- maybe you aren’t hitting the right emotional notes in sections or you’ve bogged yourself down in subplots that felt necessary when you started, but now JUST WON’T WRAP UP. This is the kind of thing where I think it’s super useful to remember that you can fix it later. Give the story some time to rest with you, and sometimes, writing ahead actually clarifies what it was that wasn’t working before. Enjoy going down the rabbit hole with whatever silly subplot or character is demanding your attention. Once it’s done, literally cut that section out into another document or something and let it sit there! Then come back. You’re a fic writer! There’s no deadline! Nobody outside of you ever even needs to read these parts where you reveal your obsession with idk, wine prices in 18th century NY, or whatever. It can be fixed!

There’s the kind of shitty where the sentences just sit there like ungainly rocks on a hill and you’re frantically looking up synonyms for “said”. Adjacent is the kind of shitty where you’ve been swinging between tenses like a trapeze artist within the same sentence. This is the kind of thing I’d say you can fix relatively stress free- even if you cringe a lot as you go through the edit. Thank god your English teacher won’t ever see this kind of thing.  I’m REALLY bad at this kind of fixing though, so if I can bamboozle kind souls into beta reading for me, then I do so pretty shamelessly. But wow, it’s amazing just how much, idk, just neat punctuation and fewer adverbs will improve the readability of the fic dramatically.  If you don’t have a beta reader- I think it’s great to take a few days off entirely from the fic, until you’ve more or less forgotten what you wrote. Fresh set of eyes- even your own- can help this part a LOT! 

So the other thing I mentioned- the first draft isn’t actually “first”. 

I’m also a fan of editing as I go along, or going back to a previous section to tweak things. Sometimes I write a chapter, and then wake up the next morning and think, well, that wasn’t great, and I’m not able to move on until I fix it. So then I do that, and the "first draft” version may more or less be this “second” version.  And y’know, I know some fic writers who will draft and redraft each paragraph as they go along because they can’t get to the next section in their heads until they do that. And that’s fine, if that’s working for you! But for me, what happens is that I run out of patience, and then stress myself out, which makes the “imperfect” section have even less of a chance of being fixed. 

So this is where non linear writing helps me, as a trick, to move the story along while also keeping me mentally in a good place re: the story. In my most recent fic, I actually wrote the end and then went back to the beginning. Which was a very, very weird thing to do, even for me--but after the prologue, that I’d written first, I just wasn’t able to make the introductory chapter work. Just staring at blank pages and feeling a rising panic. Because I was in that obsessive stage with the fic, y’know, when you’re thinking about it constantly , but the problem was I wasn’t thinking about the chapter I was supposed to write, it was the chapter I wanted to write. So that’s what I did! 

 And I think this trick works if your story isn’t very plot heavy; or it is, but you do have a good and detailed plot outline done. That way, you don’t mess up too much in terms of continuity and so on.  Sometimes I find that just making chapter headings clear my head out A LOT. Also then I can do the - ok, you have 3 chapters to go ONLY. (Lies, this will become 5, but still.) Anyway, having some kind of progress bar does help a lot! 

Ok, this is extremely long and somewhat rambly. I hope it’s encouraging! 

Last thing: it’s fine if you trash the first draft and start all over. (Ok, don’t REALLY trash it, keep it there. You’ll find some of it would be useful!)  Anyways, lots of pro authors say that their first draft and the final version are completely different- so you know, sometimes that does happen. Maybe the right thing to do IS trash it, and approach the story or the characters from a different perspective. It’ll be hard to do, and you need to allow yourself space and time to mourn the bits you’re trashing (the grief is REAL!) but at the end of the day, you’ll free yourself to write the better version of the story! 

Ok, really shutting up now. :D

Take care and best of luck with your writing projects!

[thewhizzyhead]

iiiiiiii can’t ditch the life plan though I tried, for a week I really tried, but it. didn’t go to plan.

I brought everything up with my parents, yadda yadda maybe stop putting so much pressure on me yadda yadda at dinner aaaaand

well, to sum it up I don’t think it’s healthy to breakdown about 3 times in one sitting aHa-

plus they made a really good point that my desire to be the best of the best was never them, it was a decision I made, and they’re right- no one ever told me to aim for what I am but now I can’t stop because I don’t know which parts are just me and which parts are my parents and which parts I’ll get in trouble for not following up with-

And on the Asian quotas: yep, race quotas exist, usually only in private schools though, public schools like UCLA and USC can’t do that unless there’s a law passed or whatever

speaking of laws they almost passed a proposition here in California that would allow public schools to set quotas... thank god it didn’t pass but it scared me for a good while

mm and on the entrance exams thing that’s the sat/act, but even that is very skewed because if you’ve got enough money, you can do act/sat prep classes, which makes it really unfair for students who can’t afford those

they’ve stopped using them for that reason, I think? at least in California? yeah I don’t think sats/acts count anymore... for now

(is it bad that I’ve spent so long doing what my parents wanted me to be/like that I no longer have a concept of what I enjoy and what I am passionate about?)

(probably)

(oh wells)

(if nothing else I have sad word spam on a google doc that will never see the light of day)

also please don’t be intimidated by me being debate club president it’s really not that big of a deal (also remember the friend I lost secretary to? she disagrees with me but we’re debating this Friday and I’m certain she’s going to win... my reputation is about to take a hit)

just between you and me I think there was nepotism involved- there was definitely some bias going around,,,

-🍵!!!

i can relate on um not being able to get rid of the life plan anon aaa for the most part I'm the one pressuring myself to be the best that I can be (cause my parents learned to lay off once I started doing quite well at a sci high school which is um yea a fucking miracle really). but in the end that self-pressure has and keeps on fucking me over multiple times so rn I'm constantly learning to try and go easy myself and allow myself to make mistakes. i don't think either of us is fully gonna get rid of the life plan mindset buuut we could both try to kinda take it a bit easier on ourselves, like i dunno lowering the very high standard bar by 5 centimeters every week or so. it's a long process with quite a few unavoidable relapses bu hey we'll be a lot happier if we do so! And perhaps one day you can find the parts of yourself that are truly yours in the process so yay! I'm rooting for you mate but don't forget to take it easy on yourself!!!

also dude um you can take this new high school opportunity to truly get to know yourself and separate yourself from the image that your parents paint you to be! explore shit and do whatever the hell you want! And if you don't know what exactly you want then um explore shit that looks kinda intriguing! i had a similar experience back in 9th grade and i was only able to snap out of the little-miss-perfect mindset when i started befriending a classmate of mine (whom my parents didnt really like) that helped me step out of my comfort zone which then led me to participate in more interschool writing shit and eventually led me to realizing my bisexuality so yea long story short (sorry for the ramble tea anon jdfjd): 7th grade me would be absolutely disgusted at 11th grade me and you know what? I'm completely fine with that cause 7th grade me was what i though my parents and everyone else wanted me to be and I didn't really want to be that also 7th grade me is a homophobic entitled bitch. So yea sorry for the lengthy preachy thingy tea anon but i guess all i wanted to say is to um take this opportunity to separate yourself from the perfect image in your head and find out who you really are and who you really wanna be cause at the end of the day, your happiness and wellbeing is what will stick.

and yea the racial quotas still kinda fucks with my brain aaa like that's kinda fucked up??? That'll be so easy to manipulate in favor of white people though aaaaa i mean i know it's part of affirmative action stuffs aka um movements for more poc representation and stuff but like mfjsjs it can also go the other way and further harm poc aaaa. also yea entrance exams are a bit skewed too aaa it's the same over here: if u have enough money and time to go to entrance exam classes and shit, then boom you are 99.9% guaranteed to pass the exam which is a bit unfair to those who can't afford it aaaaaa college shit is complicated and has a lot of systemic problems.

also DUDE I AM VERY INTIMIDATED OF DEBATERS CAUSE I REALLY WANNA BE ONE VJDJSFJ like my friends say that I'm good at debating bUT THE THING IS I DON'T HAVE THE CONFIDENCE AND COHERENCE OF ONE AND WOULD LOVE TO HAVE THAT CONFIDENCE AND COHERENCE AAAAAA. So yea i automatically admire you a lot mate aaa goodluck on the Friday debate woo I'm sure you'll do well!!!

[s-trawberryv-eins]

An Introduction

(NOT MY GIF)

AN INTRODUCTION TO CAROLINE STARK

A/N: Hi! Thanks for reading! So, after months of waffling about wanting to write, I finally sat down and did it. It’s pretty complicated, so it’s pretty important to read this one before you start with anything else. I’ve created an original character, who lives in a slightly alternative universe to the one we were left with after Endgame. I’d like to state that none of my personal changes are reflections of my opinions of what DID happen, but in order to build her as I wish, some things needed to be slightly different.

1)    Steve didn’t go back to Peggy after he returned the stones

2)    Hulk and Banner didn't become one, they’re still two separate beings

3)    Natasha was brought back by Steve as he was able to return the soul stone in return for her life

4)    The compound was rebuilt after the Battle of Earth. There is a memorial for Tony where he died.

A few other things to note:

1)    My first piece of writing will be a background that is applicable to all of the fics. However, many of them will be stand alone, unless I state otherwise. I’ll be creating a masterlist which will lay everything out very clearly, but please feel free to ask if you need to 😊

 Thanks for reading the boring stuff. Everything will be up soon!

 Summary: An introduction to the secret Stark sister. Who is she? Why was she kept a secret? And what happens when everybody finds out?

 Warnings: Abandonment, injury, PTSD, death, blood, but there's plenty of soft love too.

 Word count: 1921

 SUMMER 2004

MALIBU, CALIFORNIA

"Yes, yes, two seconds!" Tottering over to the front door of her bosses lavish Malibu home, Pepper Potts grumbled under her breath, annoyed by the fact that she was the one answering the incessant knocking. "I’m not your maid, Tony!” Sighing, she unlocked the door and prepared to shoo whichever reporter, play bunny, or cold caller had decided that 10 PM on a Tuesday evening was a good time to show up. However, she was greeted with something entirely unexpected.

“Oh! Hello! Are you lost? Where’s your Mom?" In front of Miss Potts stood a small girl, 7 years of age, a sparkly pink bag held tightly in her little hand. Pepper greeted the young girl with the cheeriest voice she could manage in her surprise. Sticking her head out of the door, she looked around, but with a furrowed brow she realised that they were alone. There wasn’t another figure or car in sight.

“Momma said I had to give you this." In her tiny outstretched hand was a thick envelope. "She said my Daddy lives here.” The look on her face told Pepper that she knew exactly what had happened. Even as young as she was, she had an obvious maturity that would break hearts. Her mother had abandoned her, and the girl understood that entirely.

With eyes so wide it hurt, Pepper took the envelope, peeking inside to find a passport, a letter, and a photograph of Mr Stark and a woman. The girls' mother, Pepper presumed. Shock was written into the PAs face, but she forced a smile all the same. After a quick look at the passport, she ushered the child inside.

"Come on in, Caroline. We’ll sort you out, okay?”

 LATE 2008

NEW YORK

A series of loud bangs on her bedroom door pulled Caroline from her daydream. Not even having a chance to respond, the door burst open and three young girls practically fell into her room.

“Turn the TV on!"

“As if you weren’t famous enough!"

“Did you know? You must've known?!"

Wide eyed and clueless as to what her friends were talking about, Caroline blinked back gormlessly as Amelie grabbed the remote and turned the TV on.

“What channel?“

“Can somebody tell me what the hell is going on?" The 11-year-old spoke up, and all three heads turned to face her, humour in their eyes as they stated what was seemingly obvious.

“Your dad, Care.” Caroline knew her Father had been in some trouble. Happy had shown up outside the halls of residence, whisking her away immediately. The panic set in as her heart sped up violently. As the girls scrambled through the channels, they froze as a man in a suit appeared on the screen. Caroline's dad. Tony Stark. They watched in awe as he addressed his audience. As his daughter, she'd watched a few press conferences before. They were a bore, however, she couldn't lie.

The TV remote fell from Amelie’s hand as he spoke the four words that changed history.

“I am Iron Man.”

 MAY 2012

MANHATTAN, NEW YORK

Footage of the Chitauri destroying the very ground she stood on flashed through Caroline’s mind. Gripping Happy’s arm as she sobbed, the 14-year-old girl cried out desperately for her Father. Their relationship had been very rocky for a while. He’d rejected his new responsibility at first, leaving Pepper to parent the girl. He’d even shipped her off to boarding school, where he further pushed away his long-lost child. It wasn’t until Pepper dragged him by the sleeve to the young girl’s dorm room and forced him inside that he’d actually spoken to his daughter. From there, they established a solid relationship. Caroline, of course, fell head over heels for her Father. He could do no wrong in her eyes. That never changed, even as she grew.

Fear wracked her body at the thought of Tony not surviving the battle. Staring at the sky, she prayed and prayed that he return from that giant swirling hole of death that currently dominated New York. When she saw his body fall through the sky, her fear both vanished and increased ten-fold.

-

Later that evening, JARVIS informed her of her Fathers arrival at the beaten-up tower. Racing to find him, she threw her arms around his neck and cried. She cried and cried until she ran out, but she never let go of his hand.

 MAY 2015

NOVI GRAD, SOKOVIA

“Daddy?” Her voice came out a whimper. She felt weak and small.

“Hey baby girl, I’m uh…I’m guessing you’ve seen, right? Yeah, it’s bad, Care.”

“Dad, what’s going on?”

“Listen, baby, I’ve gotta end this. Me and Thor, uh, we think we’ve got a way. A lot of people will die if we don’t do this. You're the best thing, you know?" His voice was soft, even as he continued to fight off robots and save the world. The line grew staticky and Caroline couldn’t stop the tears that spilled from her eyes. "I'm so glad you showed up on my doorstep all those years ago. I’m sorry for taking so long."

“Why does it sound like you're saying goodbye? Daddy you're scaring me!” Her voice was a desperate whimper, and a pain in her chest bloomed violently.

“I love you, Caroline. Remember th-" Horror erupted over her features as the line went dead. Not knowing whether she'd ever see him again, she made her way to New York, her heart dragging painfully behind her.

 NEW YEARS EVE 2015

AVENGERS COMPOUND

UPSTATE NEW YORK

Caroline and her Father walked through one of the many laboratories of the new compound. On her 18th birthday the Stark girl was offered a position as a biomechanical engineer for the new era S.H.I.E.L.D. program, built following its collapse in 2014. Taking after her Dad, she had excelled in school, and to the amazement of her new bosses, had landed a glowing recommendation from Iron Man himself. The decision for her to live under a different last name to Tony was one he himself had requested in a bid to keep her safe for as long as he could. She had never really met the other Avengers, and only three other people knew of her existence; Pepper, Happy, and Natasha Romanoff. It was easy enough to hide her identity.

Caroline didn’t mind too much. She could still see her parents as much as she pleased, and it prevented any special treatment from schools and professors. Those around Caroline herself knew; her school friends knew, she didn't want to keep a secret from them, and besides, she didn't know any better when she told them at 8 years old.

“How’re you settling in? Are you sure this isn’t too soon? This is too soon. I’m taking you-“ midway through his rambling, Tony realised his daughter both lived and worked at the compound, rendering his threat useless. "I'll take you somewhere. Details, schmetails."  

“Dad! Calm down! You’re spiralling. I’m fine, I’m settling in just fine! Now come on, I need to meet everyone.” A proud smile graced the young girls features as she tried to rid her rather of any worry. With a sigh, he took his daughters hand in his own and led her to the Avengers quarters. Separating just before they entered the room, Caroline took a shaky breath.

“Folks gather round. This is our new Doc. With Banner MIA," his brows drew together as he spoke, and his gaze fell to the floor for a second before finding Caroline "she’s our go to! This is Caroline. Caroline Lockwood.”  A half smile appeared on his face, the bittersweet moment getting the best of him. After a few brief introductions, the girl bid them goodbye to get ready for one of Tony Starks famous New Year’s Eve parties.

 JUNE 2018

AVENGERS COMPOUND

UPSTATE NEW YORK

Pepper sat with her daughter, a blanket around the two of them as they hid. They sat in silence, unable to find the words. Trying to maintain hope when everything around them told them to give up was the hardest battle they'd fought yet. “Momma? We’ll be fine, right? We always win.” Her voice nothing but a whisper in the darkness, she felt her adoptive mothers’ fingers tighten around her own.

“We'll be fine, baby. Your Dad will do what he always does. He'll save us. He'll save everybody.” The sad smile on Caroline's face couldn’t be seen in the dark, but Pepper could tell the moment that it fell. She felt the energy in the air shift. Did they lose? “Baby? Baby what’s wrong?" Placing her soft hands either side of her daughter’s face, she gasped sharply as the blanket fell around them, no longer supported by two bodies. Instead, a dark ash took the place of the youngest Stark.

“I’m sorry, Momma" she choked out before disintegrating completely "I'm sorry.”

Pepper was left alone, covered in heartbreak, grief, and the ashes her child left behind.

OCTOBER 2023

ATLANTA, GEORGIA

"Hey, sweetie. Do you want Mom?" Morgan shook her head and stepped closer to her sister.

“Can you help me? You’re my sister.” With sad, glazed over eyes, Caroline nodded. It's not difficult to sympathise with the two girls. Morgan knew all about her big sister. Stories were told, and pictures were framed in every inch of the house. Morgan idolised her before she’d ever met her. And when, by some miracle, they did meet, it was a few days before their fathers’ funeral. Two days before that, Caroline had been dead.

Dead.

It'd been one hell of a week.

To say the oldest Stark sister walked on eggshells around the younger one would be an understatement. Allowing their relationship to be on Morgan’s terms was the least she could do. The thought that Morgan may reject her completely never left her mind, despite Peppers constant reassurance. “I can braid your hair, if you’d like. Momma taught me when I was a little girl."

-

"Where's Morgan?" Pepper's voice barely registered in Caroline’s brain. She could feel herself drifting further and further away every day. But she didn't have the strength to fight it.

“Happy took her for cheeseburgers.” A hint of smile traced her mouth, but it didn't stick. It never stuck. The bags under her eyes were heavy and dark, and the once rich brown of her eyes seemed to have dulled miserably. After receiving her own private recording from Stark, she felt as if she'd broken completely. Turning to face Pepper, she struggled to continue, her voice hoarse from crying and screaming in the night. "They should be back an-"

“MOMMY SISSY UNCLE HAPPY BOUGHT EXTRA.” Watching the tiny girl stumble through the door, a brown paper bag clutched tightly to her chest, Caroline just stared in awe. Of course, Morgan was too young to really understand what happened. She missed her Daddy, and she knew he wasn’t coming home, but she managed to smile. Her eyes shined bright as ever. The world hadn't tainted her hope, it hadn’t torn away her faith.

It would be so, so easy to just let go. To just give up and fall into the oblivion that called her name. But in doing so, she'd miss even more time with her sister. Watching her eat with a pensive look on her face, clutching on to Pepper and watching all the strangers around her, Caroline made a choice. She could do it for Morgan. She could hold on and keep going.

So, she did.

TAGS:

@bucky-castiel​

[xxisxxisxxis]

Gateway Drug | Twenty-Two

Table of Content or Chapter Twenty-One

Pairing: Douglas Booth!Nikki Sixx x OC

Words: 3K

Warning(s): LANGUAGE, MENTIONS OF DRUG ABUSE

Tag List: @unknownoblivion @haileynicoleseavey17 @cierrasixx19 @oskea93 @mgkobsessed @vamprlestat @sharon6713 @itsametaphorbriansblog @miriampraez @allie-mcginn @rebeccaphillips14 @nicholeh7 @fandomshit6000 @lilmou5ie @tamedhearts @divaanya @kingbouji3 @evrsncnewyork @6ixx6ixx @ratedrkohardychick91 @floregrohlssard @oldschoolimagineblog @thanks2pete @abaldboi @swoopygorl @justjodeye @liith-ium @caos18blog @ytwahsog @shamlessobsessions @scarecrowmax @toadspleen @random-internet-user-4471 @solohqrry @loveofmyloif

**Let me know if you want to be tagged**

———————————————————————

"...It's, um..." I shimmy on a plum purple long sleeved mini-dress, and head to put my heels on as Tansy rambles, glancing around the apartment that only contains one bed and no refrigerator.

"Shitty." I blatantly finish for her and she glares at me.

"I was going to say, 'humble'." She states. "It's not as bad as what you guys lived in when you first started dating."

"He'd rather have a brand new corvette instead of a decent apartment so this is what we got because his buddy Robbin is nice enough to let us move in."

"There's not a couch. Or another bed. Where are you guys gonna sleep?" She asks, like np a concerned mother.

"He told us he'll crash on the floor and let us have the bed and he wouldn't let me or Nikki argue with him about it." I explain to her, deciding to keep unpacking while I wait for Nikki, cutting open another box of our things. "Where's Sparkles?" I ask her, getting joy from the unamused look on her face at the mispronunciation of his name.

"New Jersey. He had to go to a shoot." She tells me.

"Ah." I nod, setting my picture frames on the table.

"Speaking of shoots, I got a call last night and got some really great news." She starts, piquing my interest, and I look at her. "You are currently looking at 'Playmate of the Month: Miss December 1984'."

"Tansy, are you serious?!" I nearly drop my picture frame.

"I have my photos taken for it in the end of August." She adds, excitedly.

"Oh, my goodness, Tans." I pull her to me, hugging her tightly. "That's amazing."

"I'm kinda nervous about it." She tells me when I pull away and I furrow my brows. "Do you know how big a centerfold is? People are gonna be able to see every little detail, Viv."

"That's the point of a centerfold poster, Tansy. It's big enough to see clearly from anywhere in the room."

"I know but I'm not like a lot of the other women, ya know? I don't have perfect..." She motions her hands in the general direction of her breasts and between her legs.

"I've seen you naked up close and personal plenty of times. You are absolutely stunning. And if you're uncomfortable being naked you can tell them, 'no'."

"And be complicated and hard to work with, are you kidding me?!" She squeaks and I breathe out.

"You gotta speak up for yourself." I politely break it to her.

"Well, ya know, it's not that big of a deal, Viv." She brushes it off in a soft tone and I give her a pointed look.

"Tansy, you're more modest than I am." I state, crossing my arms.

"Well, modeling is different." She tries to convince me and I just shake my head a little.

"Okay. But just know your hands aren't tied, here. You've got to put your foot down if you're too uncomfortable with something."

"I am." She assures me. "But as of now, I'm not uncomfortable. Just nervous. And I'll be fine."

"Whatever you say." I reply, rolling my eyes as the lock in the door flips and the door opens to reveal Nikki and Robbin.

My dearly beloved is waving a pair of unfamiliar car-keys with a look on his face that mimics the satisfied look he gets when he cums.

"Hey, Tans, what're you doing here?" Nikki enthusiastically brightens up even more at the sight of her and she steps to him and is engulfed in a hug.

"I'm helping you guys move in." She replies as if it's obvious.

Robbin stays quiet until he's clearing his throat like an eager puppy, his eyes fixated on the blonde he towers an entire foot and three inches over.

"Oh, yeah. Tansy." He explains, motioning to her. "And Robbin." He tells her and hold back a chuckle at the way Robbin clumsily behaves towards her.

He goes to say, "hey", but the words are caught in his throat and he's just got this dopey smile on. His eyes might as well turn in to cartoon hearts because his expression is a dead give away that he's either about to cream his pants, about to fall in love with her, or about to fall to his knees and worship the ground she walks on.

Tansy had that affect on people.

I've always thought of her as a hybrid of Sharon Tate and Marilyn Monroe.

Beautiful, smart, funny, charmingly clumsy at times, while still managing to get exactly what she wanted, but also, an incredibly troubled individual.

She was riddled with daddy issues, beginning to develop drastic mommy issues, and was truthfully tired. But she wouldn't let anyone know she was tired.

No, out and about she was always glamorous, even if it took a few hours to get her to look it. By 1986, there was a system that had been perfected for her by her mother and management team, written down and given to Doc for when Tansy came on tour with us or visited L.A.:

1. Shower with expensive body washes to get rid of the smell of death lingering on her, and thick conditioner to get tangles out of rat-nested blonde hair

2. Apply heavy duty makeup over track marks and under eye circles, adding lots of warm toned foundation and rouge to make her skin appear healthy and glowing.

3. Comb leave in conditioner and de-tangler through her hair to ensure all naps are out of it, then style it however way is needed.

4. Pick out an outfit that covers most of her tracks, or pair a revealing outfit with big, sparkly earrings to draw attention away from them.

5. If she's wearing a skirt or shorts, she needs to wear thigh-high boots to really cover the marks on her feet and legs.

6. Finish off with expensive perfume for good measure.

Nikki thought it was weird how she could go from being in the closet with him, freebasing and shooting up, to looking completely healthy and sober in a matter of hours.

Tansy couldn't fool Nikki, not even a little bit, because they were living the same exact lie.

She once told me Nikki was the only one who'd really seen her, and she'd really seen him.

I didn't want to know what exactly it was that they saw in each other. I knew it would have broken my heart more than it already was at that time.

"It's nice to meet you." She tells Robbin, trying not to smile at the fact that he's got her hand in a strong grip and hasn't let up for twenty seconds.

"You too." He finally pulls himself out of hypnosis and lets go of her hand.

"Right, well, me and Viv got a double date with Vince and Beth, so..." Nikki cuts through the silence that falls over everyone.

"You're leaving us?" Robbin whispers to Nikki as Tansy tells me about something I can't quite hear her say because I'm not paying attention.

Nikki gives a shit-eating grin and nudges him.

"Yeah, man, use your time wisely." He replies in the same hushed tone.

"I'll kill you both." I threaten quietly, giving them a death look as Tansy finishes what she was saying.

"Viv, c'mon." Nikki insists, grasping my hand.

I grab my purse, reassuring Tansy I'll see her later if she's not here when we get home.

"We'll be back in a couple hours." He says as we step out.

"What the hell was that?" I ask him, hitting him a little and he rolls his eyes.

"It was a joke, Viv. Just chill out." He puts his arm around me. I cut my eyes but make myself relax nonetheless.

Just as we get downstairs, he's stopping me and putting his hands over my eyes.

"Nikki, I know what your corvette looks like. Black is a pretty common color scheme for you." I giggle, my fingers holding over his as he chuckles behind me and leads me out to the parking lot.

"I know, but..." He elongates the "But" for emphasis and stops us. "...do you know what your corvette looks like?"

He uncovers my eyes and I'm met with the sight of a brand new Black corvette, and a light-blue metallic corvette.

"The dude at the dealership digs our music so I got a 'buy one get one $5,000 off'." He explains and I don't know whether to hit him for spending money we really couldn't afford to spend, or say "screw dinner", take him upstairs, kick Tansy and Robbin out, and give him the best sex of his life for buying me a car.

Either way, I'm rendered speechless.

"Well?" He asks me, his hands rubbing up and down the sleeves of my arms, anxiously awaiting my answer.

I turn to face him, my hand pushing his bangs, that nearly cover his eyes, up so I can see them clearly.

I love you, I think in my mind, but my mouth speaks:

"You didn't have to do this for me." I tell him as guilt settles in my gut, knowing he blew a majority of the money he got from tour, and he takes my face between his hands, smushing it a little, before replying:

“Happy anniversary.”

I smile, and he leans down and presses his lips to mine for a second.

“Alright, I’m starving.” He says when he pulls away, putting his hand on my back to guide me to the passenger side of the car.

He opens my door for me and I’m tempted to ask who he is and what he’s done with Nikki Sixx, but decide to enjoy the out of character swoon-fishing.

It’s more Vince’s style.

We get to the out of budget restaurant that Vince has a table reserved at, and by the time we get inside, we see the blonde singer on his second glass of wine and Beth wasn’t anywhere to be found.

“Don’t you look nice?” He asks me with a smirk as we get closer.

“You do, too.” I offer back.

“Got you a water and you a wine.” He tells us.

“Where’s MacBitch?” Nikki asks as we sit across the table from him and he rolls his eyes.

“She’s getting something out of the car.” He replies. “Happy Anniversary.” He adds.

“Thanks, dude.” Nikki smiles and the waiter sits the glass of white wine in front of him and a glass of water in front of me.

“Thank you.” I tell the waiter and he steps away for a moment.

“Yeah, I’m glad you guys are still goin’ strong.” Vince continues. “I hope you can last longer than me and Beth.”

“Why do you say that?” I ask, taking my glass to take a sip of water.

“Oh, I’m telling her I want a divorce, tonight.” He casually explains and I nearly spit my water out.

“Woah.” Nikki laughs, obviously amused by this while I am horrified.

“Y-you want a divorce—how?! You haven’t even been married more than two years?” I whisper yell.

“The two year itch, Viv.” He defends himself.

“It’s seven. It’s the seven year itch, Vince, and after everything of your’s she���s put up with, you repay her with a divorce she doesn’t even see coming?”

“Hey, I thought long and hard about this and it’s what’s best for the both of us. I’m just bored and unhappy and she’s unhappy so it just makes sense.”

“Vince, this is our anniversary dinner.” I motion to Nikki. “If you announce your divorce to your wife at our anniversary dinner, so help me, God, I will kick your as—”

“Hey, baby.” Vince greets Beth as she steps to the table and she smiles.

“Sorry it took me so long, I couldn’t get my ring from between the seat and the console.” Beth explains in reference to her shining wedding ring. “I don’t know what I’d do if I lost it.”

Nikki looks at me and I look at him and we both look at Vince, who’s got a smug expression on.

By the time we order our food—Salmon for me, steak for Nikki—Nikki’s telling Vince about possible concept art for the cover of the new album.

“I’m thinkin’ ‘Entertainment Death’.” Nikki explains. “Ya know, kinda have a play on light and dark elements.”

“Right, right, because entertainment is fun and lively and death isn’t.” Vince pretends to have any idea what’s going on in Nikki’s mind.

The gears are always turning.

“Exactly, man. Good shit and bad shit.” Nikki replies. “I’m already on some new songs, though, so if you have any suggestions let me know and we’ll work something up.”

“Cool, man.” Vince nods.

We get our food and eat, hearing Beth go on and on about the new apartment they just got and how she can’t wait to have kids.

My heart breaks for her. I wish I could tell her what Vince does when she’s not around, but my loyalties are with Vince, Mick, Tommy, Nikki and Tansy, and even when they’re wrong, I won’t tell anybody.

I’ll just tell them they’re wrong in private.

Just as Vince wipes his mouth with his napkin, Beth emphasizes the need for a nursery as soon as possible—which causes my own anxiety because I have yet to tell Nikki I’m nine weeks pregnant—and Vince just nods and waits for her to hush so he can talk.

I nearly fall out of my seat when Vince and Beth simultaneously reveal:

“I’m pregnant.”

“I want a divorce.”

The look of absolute horror on the both of their faces is astonishing.

“I want another glass of wine.” Nikki blatantly spews out, feeling as burdened as I do at the fact that we have to witness this.

“A divorce?!” Beth exclaims. “I tell you I’m carrying your child and you tell me you want a fucking divorce?!”

“We’re gonna head out.” Nikki tells me and I couldn’t agree more.

Just as we’re standing, though, Beth darts her venom fueled eyes my way.

“This is your fault!” She accuses and I raise my brows in confusion.

“What?” I ask.

“Will you stop being so loud?” Vince asks her, seeing people staring at us.

“You and Tansy have never liked me and have always tried to turn him against me.” She throws at me.

“I’ve never once have mentioned a divorce to him, Beth.” I argue and she rolls her jaw.

“I’ve heard everything you’ve said about me, Vivian, don’t act innocent in this.” She hisses.

“Hey! Back the fuck off.” Nikki snaps at her as I put my purse back down.

“I sure as hell hope you’ve heard everything I’ve said about you because I said it to your face, and only to your face.” I shoot back. “However, If you need a refresher on why I don’t like you: you’re uppity, bitchy, accusatory, conclusion-jumping, money-wallowing, selfish, and the only thing you’re full of, more than diet supplements, is shit. I don’t have to talk to Vince into getting tired of you and leaving because you’re perfectly capable of running him off all by yourself!”

I don’t waste another minute of my time and grab my purse just as the manager is stepping towards us to ask us to leave, before stomping out.

Nikki pays our part of the bill and meets me at the car.

“You made her cry.” He tells me, grabbing the keys and I keep my arms crossed.

“I’ll care in a couple of hours when God convicts me and forces me to call and apologize. But as of now I could give a fuck.”

“I like you like this.” He admits, grinning as we get in to the car. “You’re more...” he tries to find the words to say.

“Rabid bitch?” I ask and he thinks about it and nods.

“Yeah, kinda. It’s hot when I’m not on the receiving end.” He shrugs and I roll my eyes. “Which I like Dirty Stripper Viv, too. Hey, since it’s our anniversary, can she make an appearance?”

“She made an appearance earlier today.” I remind him, remembering how I reacted waking up to him eating me for breakfast.

“And? I like her, she’s double-jointed and lets me put it anywhere.” He winks and I rub my lips together.

“I’m really not in the mood tonight, Nikki.” I say in an over exaggerated tone and he looks at me like I’m serious.

“But, it’s our anniversary!” He’s practically pleading and I smile a little and unbuckle, leaning closer to him.

The tip of my nose brushes against his jaw as my lips ghost across his skin, my hand resting high on his thigh, causing his hands to grip the wheel until his knuckles are white.

But it’s a tease, and I’m going back to my seat within a moment, buckling back up and he glares at me.

“Just wait ‘till we get home.” He tells me and I giggle, taking a deep breath.

Once we get back to the apartment complex, he parks the car and the both of us get out.

Just as I shut the door, he’s throwing me over his shoulder, and I laugh the entire walk up the stairs to our door.

He unlocks the door and sets me down, shutting the door behind him before pushing me against it, locking his lips with mine.

His tongue collides with mine and I let out a low moan at the feeling of his hands grabbing aggressively at my hips, about to pull the fabric of my dress over my head.

“Ahh!” A sex fueled squeal flutters through the air, but it’s not coming from me.

We pull away from each other in confusion, getting quiet.

“Was that...?”

“Oh, fuck me!” Tansy cries out and I furrow my brows, now hearing skin slapping together.

“I thought she said Sparkie wasn’t here?” I ask him in a whisper and he looks at me like he hates to break something to me.

“Babe, I don’t think that’s Sparkie.” He tells me and I remember Robbin.

“Oh, hell, Tansy. No, no, no.” I say to myself, rubbing my forehead.

“At least someone’s gettin’ laid.” Nikki mumbles, quickly realizing he probably won’t be tonight after this.

[blacknpurplewarpster]

[IDW Skywarp Headcanon]

More about his awful comments/attitude towards others

I know I’ve written about this before but I cant seem to find it anywhere on my blog. I was rereading the original comic series and thought I’d elaborate a little bit more than what I had previously wrote. I was going to include a snippet from Unicron #2 

Skywarp: “Among others. Could you try bumbling into trouble a little closer to the mainland next time? This was decidedly inconvenient.”  Helix: “I think he means ‘Glad you guys are okay. Sorry it took so long to reach you.’ Isn’t that right, Skywarp?” Skywarp: “I suppose. I would have been more annoyed if we had come all this way and they were already dead.” Helix: “Do you actually know when you’re being awful?” Skywarp: “Almost always. Fortunately, showing up and being remarkable are more important to being a G.I. Joe than unnecessary human pleasantries.” 

Skywarp mentions that he knows when he is being awful with his comments and just overall to others when Helix calls him out on it after just saving part of his team. This team he has been with for a few years and is close to them, even Rock. Going through the comments, he makes snarky ass comments towards Rock and doesn’t give a shit about what his friend thinks either. I’ll come back to Rock in a bit here. Some of his comments towards Rock are rather hilarious in the way Skywarp is portrayed doing them. Not to say Rock deserves his shitty attitude. But later on, they become better and closer friends. 

Even though he is no longer a Decepticon, he still puts duty above everything else, even if it means stepping on others toes or hurting others feelings. Thing is, Skywarp doesn’t care. He feels being blunt is better than beating around the bush or sugarcoating things. He will tell others straight up what he feels and doesn’t give a shit about what it might do. 

Another example is he even says this to Thundercracker, whom he hasn’t seen in a decade or more. 

Thundercracker: “Last time I saw you, you shot me in the face.” Skywarp: “Eh, you deserved it.” 

Like jeezus straight to his face. I think it was like the second sentence he said to Thundercracker after not seeing him for YEARS. Like harsh much? 

So pretty much no one can hide from this. The one thing I have noticed, his snarky comments seem to back off once there’s a tighter bond between himself and whomever else. This happens once Skywarp has a change of heart once he realized how Rock and himself are a lot more similar than he thought. Rock repeatedly tells Skywarp about being alone but he finally realizes this at one important moment. Rock decides to own up to his mistakes of paralyzing Grand Slam and wants to sacrifice his life to blow up the Fatal Fluffies in hopes to get rid of his guilt but its also a sense of pride from him. Skywarp decides to stay back with Rock and decides to stay even when the detonator goes off--surprise surprise, he saves Rock and their bond grows close. 

Here’s some of their conversations between one another just to show you: You can skip all the way down to see my final thoughts. 

---------------------------------------------------------------- GI Joe #1: Rock: Hey, uhh, Skywarp… I was wondering… seeing as we’re teammates… you think I could ride back with you? Skywarp: Are you asking me…to open up my cockpit… and allow you to climb inside of me? Rock: Umm.. yes? Skywarp: Jets off Rock: Looks like I’m with you again.

GI Joe #4

Skywarp: “Look at them. Squabbling in the dirt like… like insects! They can’t do anything. They can accomplish nothing… without me!” Rock: “Hey Skywarp… Instead of waiting for transpo, I was thinking that if you don’t mind, maybe we could.. you know.” Skywarp: Squints hard and jets off Rock: “Jerk.”

Gi Joe #5 Skywarp: “Tell me… you geeks got your data…?” Skywarp: “This isn’t working! I’m tired of you insects leaning on me! Why am I the only one— GAAAH!” Covergirl: “Don’t worry, Skywarp…the calvary’s arrived!” Skywarp: “Now you cowards show up, after sending me ahead.” Rock: “Hey now… I offered to ride with you.” Skywarp: “You know my feelings on that.” Skywarp: “Are you even helping at all?!” Rock: “Honestly? Not really. But if you’d let me ride with—ooofh-!” Skywarp: “Gahhh!” Covergirl: “Skywarp! Come in! Do you read us?!” Skywarp: Khhkkthhhkkt Rock: “Skywarp! Are… are you ok?” Skywarp: “kkhkt No…But I will be there once we will that thing. Were you getting emotional, you sentimental insect?” Rock: “What? I was… No…”

GI Joe #6 Skywarp: “Hrmph. I’ll be the judge of that. Crude ugly thing. If this is the best you can do, no wonder you can’t fix me.” Roadblock: “Four Joes. Skywarp counts.” 

Rock: Turns into this monster from the Fatal Fluffies Skywarp: “I know what this is really about...” Rock: “Hunh?” Skywarp: “...You’re sad I wouldn’t give you a ride. But don’t worry, you’ll get what you want...When i carry you out in pieces.”

GI Joe #7 Skywarp: Is fighting mega-Rock and knows to be gentle and junk. “You are as arrogant as the rest of them! Even enlarged! even with horns and claws! You are nothing but an insec--Urlkh--!” Is being choked out.

Skywarp: “Hey! You watch your mouth!”

Rock: “I know. That’s why I’m volunteering. I’ve done enough damage more than enough. Let me redeem myself please.” Skywarp: “Sure but you aren’t going alone. Someone needs to defend your position while you set up the bomb.” Rock: “But I.. I threw you into the mole pod. the explosion was..” Skywarp: “Yeah, so another one doesn’t scare me much, besides...as soon as the bombs in place, before you hit the button... I”m getting out of here.” 

GI Joe #8 Rock: “Almost read! You gotta jet!” Skywarp: “You’ll be overrun before you can hit it! Besides...It’s an honor to stand by your side. You are a true warrior.” Rock: “No...I’m a Joe. We both are.”  Skywarp saves Rock by letting him ride inside of his cockpit in order to get away from the blast.

Gi Joe #9 Rock: “He wouldn’t let me use the radio.” Skywarp: “You haven’t earned the privilege!” Rock: “Whatever. You ready for the blast beat?”  Skywarp: “Do we have to call it that?”  Skywarp and Rock: “Yoooooooo Joooooooe!”  Rock: “Thanks to Skywarp! Hes letting me ride with him!” Skywarp: “Once! Only once!” 

GI Joe First Strike #1

Skywarp: “You need to get him his own jet!”

Scarletts Strike Force 1 Rock: Skywarp, I”m serious! Seriously! Doc: You know he’s the only one who can put up with your grouchy metal butt.. Skywarp: I thought you liked-- Doc: Nope Skywarp: .... Fine Rock: Hey! Piggyback ride! Skywarp: Start using that shotgun or I’m doing barrel rolls!

---- This is where Skywarps attitude really changes. -------

Rock: And they were chanting this name...glub? golob..goolub? Hey! Are you even listening to me? Skywarp: Its a boring story about something that didn’t actually happen! Why would I listen to it?! Rock: Because it’s stressing me out, man. It felt...different.. Skywarp: Different from your other dreams? Rock: Yeah dude Skywarp: Different from your Jem dreams? Rock: Come on man.. Skywarp: A holograms fan. You’re not metal. Rock: They have some serious riffs, alright!?

Scarletts Strike Force #2

Skywarp: Can you fix my teleportation? Or are you techgeeks just as worthless as everyone else in the Lemuria? Rock: Dude, I’m standing right here. Hey man can I help? Grand Slam: I’ve got it Rock. You only ruined the bottom half of me. Skywarp: Getting m teleportation fixed is the only reason I threw in with you insects! why havent you fixed it yet? You’ve been trying and failing since the EDC!  Grand Slam: Like I told you: We don’t have the tech, or the knowledge. or the materials.

Scarletts Strike Force #3 Skywarp: Yeah. Me. And you’re welcome. Don’t act so shocked. you insects think a giant robot doesn’t know his way around a rudimentary geothermal generator? You’ve been recruited. We’ll rendezvous in DC. You have three minutes to find yourselves a ride before surveillance is back up. Helix: Aren’t you letting people ride inside of you now? Skywarp: Only Rock ‘n Roll! 

Unicron #2 The first set of quotes goes right here in events wise. 

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This is the end of their interactions. I know I didn’t show everything but it shows a huge chunk of how you can see how Skywarp is only “nice” to Rock really because in his optics, he isn’t respected by some of the others, especially Grand Slam. So in his mindset, why does he have to be nice if he doesn’t have the respect? 

He figures he lost his respect towards Thundercracker (or rather TC lost respect for Skywarp) because of what he’d done to him so he resets back to being an ass. He thinks their history doesn’t matter anymore, so he resorts to just tell him straight-up. Perhaps he was always straight up before their meeting with Starscream and he’s resorting back to his normal or preset attitude/maturity. That all of what has gone on from him shooting TC out of the sky onwards, smacked him so hard it woke him up from this “fantasy.” If that makes sense?? I’m tired and rambling. 

Deep down, I truly believe he cares but he isn’t going to show that side. He needs to put duty before anything else because that’s the motto Skywarp lives by. You can see a lot of this change in him throughout the entire series but it really sets out from AHM series onwards. His whole attitude flips and starts to really develop his character and we see this. I have a feeling he didn’t used to be like this but what he’s done in his life has shaped him to act in this way. Perhaps its a way of not letting others get close to him. It might very well be a defense mechanism. Who knows, we truly won’t know canon wise since the series ended. 

THANKS FOR BEING HERE FOR MY HEADCANON AND RAMBLE OF THOUGHTS. 

[potentiallymrsdevorak]

In Fields of Flowers (The Arcana)

Chapter 4: Sweet Peas (Goodbye)

Pairing: Julian x Nijah

Summary: Nijah doesn’t lose just one, but two important people in her life.

Word Count: ~7100

Author’s Note: ok I don’t usually write sad things but here we go...if you know me from my old content you would know. We discuss some really heavy things in this chapter so if that is something triggering, please be cautious as you go through. I also added trigger warnings just in case. If you want to ask me the kind of things I have in this story before you read, feel free to shoot a message! 

Anyways I compiled a sad songs playlist to get you all in the sad mood:

Theme Schindler’s List - 2 Cellos (the original is just as good tho I just love these men)

Adagio for Strings - Samuel Barber

Elegy in C Minor - Fauré

Dives and Lazarus - Ralph Vaughn Williams

Symphony 5, mvmt. 3 - Shostakovich

Tagging: @drunkenomnist, @rromanovv, @juliandevoraknsfw (sorry in advance)

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Nijah had a million thoughts running through her mind, and yet, there was not one she could pin down.

It was no doubt that it was Selene sitting in front of her. The dark, curly shoulder-length hair bounced as she tilted her head and smiled. Her womanly figure could not be hidden underneath her shapeless potato sack like dress, given to all patients at the Lazaret. She even had the birthmark on the inside of her elbow that all the boys in elementary school would make fun of her for. If it wasn’t Selene, then someone must be a very good magician.

So Nijah’s best friend had the plague. She didn’t know exactly how, but she was here now. But there was no cure to the plague, so she would be dead in a matter of days. And there was nothing Nijah could do about it.

Should I tell her who I am? She wondered, then immediately shook the idea away. No, I can’t. 

She would never forgive me if she learned I couldn’t save her.

Finally, Nijah reached out her own hand to meet Selene’s. “It’s nice to meet you, Selene.” She replied, hoping the mask was able to muffle her voice a little bit, hiding her identity even further. “So, do you know exactly how you got the plague?” She took out a scroll of paper and a quill already coated in ink.

“Well, I can’t say I know for sure.” She confessed. “I’ve been traveling all over the place with this new guy of mine, but once we get back to Vesuvia, of course I catch this stupid bug.” She rubbed her inflamed eyes, the intensified redness pulling on Nijah’s heartstrings.

“I see. And how long had you been in Vesuvia before you noticed the symptoms?”

“About a day. We had just returned from visiting Nevivion. And when I noticed them, it was almost like the whole town already knew. I was quarantined and sent away to this island. I didn’t even get to say goodbye…”

“I’m sure he is missing you quite a bit.” Nijah finished her notes and stuffed the paper back in her jacket. “Well, we will begin treatment tomorrow morning, Miss Selene. I hope you get a good night’s sleep…” She began walking away towards the door.

“Wait!”

Nijah stopped in her tracks, turning only her head around. “Yes?”

“Do you know if a girl named Nijah Horvat works as an apprentice here?”

She paused, biting her lip so she could hold back the truth. “She has been moved to another facility.” She lied, nearly gritting her teeth as a wave of sadness overflowed her senses. She got the feeling this wouldn’t be the only time she would lie to her.

“Aw, that’s too bad. Have a good night, doc!”

“You too, Miss Selene.” And with that, Nijah shut the door behind her.

As Nijah was preparing for bed, she felt Katja’s arm around her upper back. It was strangely comforting, yet unexpected.

“Hey there, feeling any better?” She squeezed her tight, cracking something in Nijah’s back.

“Oof!” Nijah called out, reaching up to rub her shoulder. “Ah...not really. We’ll just have to see how it goes again in the morning.”

“Okay, how was your new patient?”

“Umm...she’s nice.” Nijah said. “I think she won’t cause me many problems.”

“That’s good!” Katja smiled. “I just got this older man, and he is the worst. Already asking when he can leave! And we haven’t even started treatment yet!”

Nijah tried to listen to Katja ramble on about her new patient, but the fact that her best friend would be dying under her hands kept her unable to focus on anything else. All their memories came flooding over her as she smiled and nodded her head, pretending she was all there in the conversation. But really, her heart was breaking and she felt like she wanted to do nothing but run and hide from the Lazaret, from the world, from everything and everyone.

Unfortunately for her, that wasn’t about to happen.

Nijah unlocked the door to room 187, carting a warm plate of breakfast and multiple medical devices. She picked up a few extra medicines from Julian as well, new ones that he had discovered only recently. She was willing to try them, as long as she had a chance of survival.

“Good morning, miss. I brought you your breakfast.” She squinted inside the room, the only light source being a small window near the ceiling. Selene was already up and waiting.

“How did you know this was my favorite? Thank you!” She took the plate graciously, savoring the food as if it was her last meal. As she ate, Nijah prepared the materials necessary for her first treatment.

She took a glance over at her friend and realized the plague has already taken its toll on her body. She looked a little skinnier than she did the night before, the bags under her eyes a little more prominent. She looked malnourished, but by the way she was eating her food, anyone could be fooled that she was fine and healthy.

“We’re going to try multiple different methods to cure your plague,” Nijah began to explain, “First, I need you to keep this bag next to you at all times.” She dropped the tiny bag next to Selene’s spot on the cot. With graceful fingers, she picked up the bag and took a whiff.

“Mmm, these smell wonderful! I feel like I’m lying in a flower bed.” Selene complimented the mixture of petals. What kinds of flowers did you use?”

“Magnolias, freesias, violets, gardenias…” Nijah went on, remembering the exact flowers Dr. Satrinava had told her to use. Most of the other apprentices thought it was a dumb lesson, but Nijah imagined that it could be very useful to her someday.

“You know, my friend Nijah loves flowers. It’s not something she tells a lot of people, but she used to read books about gardening as a kid. She really was passionate about the meanings of different flowers. Sometimes she would drop off some at my house and wait for me to figure out what they meant. But her parents wanted her to study the violin, so she didn’t ever find the time...oh, silly me.” She waved her hand, pushing away her commentary like it was nothing. “I know you don’t care as much. I apologize for boring you.”

Behind her mask, Nijah smiled bitterly as she mixed an herbal concoction. She was surprised that Selene remembered that far back. She must have been nine years old at that time. “No, it’s okay. You can tell me whatever you like. I don’t mind.”

She saw a wave of relief cross over her face. “Oh, thank goodness. I just miss her a lot, is all...it’s been nearly two months since I’ve seen her. Asra and I have tried to write to her, but every time we do, our letter gets sent back to us.”

“And who is Asra?”

“Oh, probably the most wonderful man I have ever met, doctor.” She swooned, fanning herself with the bag of flower petals. “I met him at the masquerade. Have you ever been?”

“Can’t say I have.”

“It was such a grand time! The whole castle was open and decorated in the most beautiful things. I was setting up Nijah with another man at the time...but I turned the corner in the ballroom and accidentally bumped into him. It was the most embarrassing thing!”

“I bet.” Nijah interjected. “Before you go on, can you drink this for me?” She held a cup of a thick, odd smelling liquid in front of Selene. She took it and looked at it skeptically.

“What’s this supposed to do?”

“Get rid of any aches and pains you might have.”

Shrugging, Selene threw the drink back, gulping the fluids back rather loudly as she finished it off. As she swallowed the last bit, a shiver ran through her body, but it passed as quickly as it came.

“Disgusting...but I think it helped. Thank you, doc!” She smiled, handing back the cup to Nijah.

Nijah knew that smile well. It was the fake smile, when she was trying to deceive others into believing everything was okay. It was a clear fact that she didn’t like it, but maybe she didn’t think it would actually help her. Either way, Nijah was happy that she was at least trying to stay positive for her sake.

“Anyways,” Selene continued, “I ran into him as I walked into the ballroom. But he played it off so well, pretending that I was an old friend or something like that. His masquerade costume was so beautiful, but when he took the mask off, he was even more gorgeous. He has the most beautiful shade of lavender eyes, stark white hair…”

Nijah briefly remembered seeing him at the masquerade, right before Julian and her were about to approach the two. So that’s who she’s run off with…

“...but one of the coolest things about him is that he’s a magician! He showed me so many cool tricks, read my tarot cards…”

Suddenly, something in Nijah’s stomach pulled. Hard.

“Oh, you’ll have to excuse me for a moment, miss…” She ran out into the hallway as she slid her mask off, hoping to make it to the bathroom before whatever was churning in her stomach made its way out. Unfortunately, it decided it had to come out in the middle of the hallway, directly in front of Dr. Satrinava.

“Doctor 187! Are you all right?!” Nijah was bent over on the floor, her hands resting over her stomach. Dr. Satrinava took their glove off and rested their hand on her forehead. “You don’t feel like you have the plague…”

Nijah wiped the ends of her mouth and stood to her feet. “I’m fine, I promise. I’m sorry about this...mess.”

Satrinava looked at her through their mask suspiciously, resting their hands on their hips. “Wait a moment. Didn’t Dr. Devorak tell you to get some rest?”

“Yes, but Valdemar vetoed that decision because we have so many patients.” Nijah shook her head, making her best attempt to stand up like nothing happened. “If you will excuse me, I have to return to mine right now.”

“All right...but if you need someone to take over for you, let me know. I don’t want to risk you getting infected.” Satrinava squeezed her shoulder. “And don’t worry about this mess. I’ll get Valdemar to clean it up.”

Nijah laughed a little bit, thinking of the odd doctor with a dirty rag and a bucket of water, trying their best to scrape every part of her puke off the floor. “Thanks, Doctor.”

The two part ways, and Nijah makes her way back into her patient’s room, securing her mask as she turned into the doorway. “Sorry about that, Selene, you may go on.”

“What happened out there? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, just a little nausea…”

“That didn’t sound like normal nausea, hun.”

Nijah’s eyebrows raised as she faces Selene...not that she would be able to tell, of course. “What do you mean?”

“Do you have any other symptoms? Are you tired more often?”

“...yes.”

“Cramping down there?”

“A little bit, why do you ask?”

“Doc, you’re totally pregnant.”

At first, Nijah didn’t move. As the wave of realization hit her, she took a small step back. “There’s no way...”

“Trust me, I know. My mother had her youngest a few years ago. I was with her every step of the way.”

She’s right, Nijah remembered. Selene’s youngest brother was her mother’s most complicated pregnancy her mother had ever had, so of course Selene had to been around to help with the family as her mother dealt with her symptoms. Selene had grown up rather early, doing the household chores, cooking meals, and helping her other brothers with their studies beginning at the age of eleven.

But how could Selene tell? Every pregnancy was different, so it might just be a coincidence.

Then she realized that her cycle had come late. Too late.

Nijah cleared her throat and grabbed onto the cart. “Uhm...if you’ll excuse me…”

And without another word, Nijah rushed out of the room, holding back tears of sorrow.

I’m pregnant. I’m pregnant. I’m pregnant, Nijah thought over and over again.

She was standing in the bathroom of the apprentice’s wing, all alone. She looked in the full length mirror at her body as she chanted the mantra in her mind.

It would explain a lot. Her illness, how tired she had been feeling, even the mood swings she had begun to felt. She wasn’t ill at all, she just happened to be growing another human being inside of her.

Julian’s child.

Oh, hells, what will he do? What will he say? Will...will he still love me? She asked herself as her hands moved up to caress her stomach. She had no idea how far along she was. Was she one week? Two weeks? Eight weeks? Did their first time they ever had sex actually get her pregnant? She swore she felt a small bump, but that could also be her mind playing tricks on her.

There was no way she could support another life while living in the Lazaret. She would have to leave if they both were to survive.

If I don’t tell Julian now, then I never will, she told herself. Putting her plague mask on, she left the bathroom, mentally preparing herself for what could be the most heart breaking conversation she will ever have in her life.

“Dr. Devorak,” Nijah called out, banging on the door frantically. “Are you in?” She could feel herself sweating from nervousness from the inside of her uniform. She just hoped she didn’t smell too bad.

He opened the door quickly. “There you are, come in.” He ushered her in, showing her to a seat on the cot. As he sat down he ran his fingers through his hair, his other hand jotting down something unreadable. “You came just in time. I need to tell you something very important.”

“Me too…”

“Oh? By all means, you can share first.”

“No, I think it would be better if you were to tell me first.”

“If you insist…” Julian trailed off, setting down the quill in his hand as his head hung low to the floor. “Nijah, I’m being sent back to Vesuvia.”

“What?!” Nijah nearly jumped out of her seat in shock.

“Please, keep it down.” Julian shushed her as his eyes met hers for the first time, pressing his hand into her thigh to keep her steady. “Count Lucio wants me and Valdemar to go to the palace to work together on a cure for the plague. He apparently has another man who is knowledgeable about its origins, and if we combine forces, we could end the plague for good and cure the city.”

“That...that’s great, dear!” Nijah beamed. She took his hand in hers, squeezing it affectionately. “I’m glad they’re seeing how well you are as a doctor. I’m really happy for you.” She hoped he could see how excited she was for him.

“Thank you. I never knew that my hard work could get me to where I am...along with a little inspiration from you, Nijah.”

She was taken back a little bit by his compliment. “Me?”

“Yes, you.” He reiterated, getting down off of his seat and on his knees, in front of Nijah. “The biggest regret I will have about going to the castle is that I will be leaving you behind.” He brings her hands to his lips, kissing every individual finger.

“When are you leaving?”

“Tomorrow,” Julian said dejectedly, as if he wished he had more time. “Nijah...I want to make the most out of every moment I have with you. Please, can you spent one more night with me? I promise I will make it worthwhile.”

“I’ll do my best, Julian.” She replied, caressing his face in the palms of her hands, rubbing her thumbs across his cheekbones.

“Thank you, darling.” He kissed her hand, running his gloved fingers over her arms. “Did you still need to tell me something?”

Oh hells, if I told him now, she thought, then he might have more regrets than just leaving me behind. He might never want to leave the Lazaret, then we will both be stuck here forever...there’s no way he can know.

At least, not now.

“Oh, never mind, it wasn’t as important as I thought.” Nijah shook it off, leaning her forehead in to touch his own.

“If you say so...you’d never hide anything from me, right?” Julian looked into her eyes, trying to search her soul for her truth. She hoped and prayed he couldn’t find it this time.

“Of course not.” She lied. “I love you too much for that, Jules.”

He’ll forgive you when he learns you were only trying to help, she told herself as he leaned in for a tender kiss, letting all her dark thoughts fly out the window. Julian was hers, she was his, and at least they could enjoy the rest of their time together.

“Ugh, you’re going to give me that stuff again?”

Selene did not seem too enthusiastic that she had to drink the same thick liquid she consumed earlier that morning. Made with the top quality herbs in the lab, as well as a few extra chemicals, it was supposed to help patients reduce their pain, but Nijah took that claim with a grain of salt.

“Just take it, miss. It’ll do the body good.” She tried to convince her, but Selene was more stubborn than that.

“If it’s so good, then why don’t you taste it?”

Nijah sighed, already frustrated from her mood swings. “If you won’t comply, then we will have to forcibly administer the medicine to you. So it can either be the easy way or the hard way.”

“Fine, fine, I guess I can’t argue with a pregnant woman.” Selene took the cup with a sly grin, drinking the mixture in one gulp.

“Could we not be so loud when discussing that matter?”

“Not wanting the others to know?”

“Precisely.” She answered. “They will know when I feel it is appropriate to tell the others.”

Selene placed the cup on the tray, careful to not let the glass shatter on the metal. “I see how it is. Is the baby’s father here, too?”

“You’re making very bold statements that I don’t think you should be, miss.” Nijah crossed her arms in front of her chest. “I suggest you stop, otherwise I will have to move you to a different room with a different doctor.”

“Okay, okay, jeez!” Selene held her hands up in regret. “I’m sorry. You just remind me a lot of my friend Nijah. She was sometimes a stick in the mud with some things, so I always teased her to get her to loosen up, that’s all.”

“Please do not feel like you need to treat me in such a way.” Nijah retorted. It’ll hurt me more that way.

“Hmm...did Nijah ever tell you how she met me?”

“I don’t think so.”

“I’ll have to tell it to ya someday. Maybe when you’re not so crabby!” She laughed, slapping her thigh in the process.

Ah, at least her personality hasn’t changed from the plague, Nijah thought as she began to roll the cart out of the room. Always willing to call people out.

“Well, I hope you have a good night, miss. I will see you tomorrow.”

“Goodnight, doc! Sleep well!”

As she left room 187, she just hoped that Selene would live through the night.

That night, Nijah snuck out of the apprentice’s wing after the moon had risen and everyone else had fallen asleep. She heard the coo of an owl as she descended down the stairwell, her bare fingers trailing across the stone walls as she walked on her tiptoes. Julian had instructed her that she didn’t need to knock, that his door would be unlocked and ready for her arrival. He also instructed that he would give her a new, clean doctor’s uniform, so she could come in her everyday clothes she normally wore. Her long skirt brushed the floor as she shivered in her sleeveless top, finally arriving at the doctor’s office.

When she opened the door, she was surprised to see the trap door already open, her trail decorated with flower petals.

“Jules, what is all of this?” Nijah muttered to herself as she walked down the stairs. As she entered the bedroom, she saw two candles placed on the floor, illuminating the petal path. Her eyes gazed up at the bed, where Julian lay with a grin on his face.

“Oh, my darling,” he smiled, “I’m so glad you are here.” Even the bedspread had petals on it, and...was that a bottle of wine on a tray? “Come, please join me.”

Stunned, Nijah got up on the bed, sitting across from her lover. “Jules, what is all this for?”

“I told you it would be worth it, didn’t I?” Julian answered, leaning in to kiss her cheek. “You deserve it all. Wine, flowers, all the finest things…” He popped open the bottle, pouring a glass for himself. “Want some?”

Nijah wasn’t sure what it was, but something in her stomach told her it wasn’t the best time to try it. “I’ll pass for now, thank you.”

“If you insist.” Julian took a sip of his glass, feeling the warm liquid drip down his throat. Nijah took a moment to look over how handsome he was in the moment. Sure, he looked good all the time, but she never got to see him like this. His classic white shirt was unbuttoned further than normal, so she could see his entire chest and torso, the auburn curls making her want to run her fingers over his skin. His black pants rode a bit lower than usual, showing off the line of hair that ran from his navel right down to his…

“Nijah?” She felt his bare hand on hers, his eyes completely captivated by her.

“Yes, Julian?”

“I want to make things right for you. For us.” He sat his glass down on the tray and moved it to the floor, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close. The tips of their noses brushed as he gently squeezed her. “I want to give you the life you wanted for us. I...I want to marry you, Nijah.”

She could feel her cheeks burning in surprise. This is not what she expected tonight to be like at all.

“I want to spend my life with you, give you everything you deserve. I just need time.” His hands squeezed her biceps, his nose brushing against hers. “Once we have the cure to the plague, I can take you out of this place. We can live in Vesuvia, or wherever else you may like. I would love to meet your family. And you can meet my sister.” His hand trailed to the back of her neck, playing with the stands of hair. “We can get married at a church, or by the sea, whatever you want. We can work together and help bring many people back to health. I...I want children with you, if you want them too. It doesn’t matter what we do for the rest of our lives, as long as you’re by my side.”

Nijah could feel the warm tears falling from her eyes as her heart overfilled with love. “Julian…”

“You don’t have to give me an answer yet, bu-”

“Julian, are you crazy? Of course I want that with you!” She leaned in, pressing a wet, salty kiss to his lips. He kissed her back, smiling as his hand slid further through her hair, wanting to feel every single strand brush on his fingers.

He pulled away for a moment, reaching into the pocket of his pants. He revealed a tiny golden ring, plain at sight, but with a deeper meaning only known between the two of them.

“It isn’t much, but I wanted to give you something to remember my promise…”

He took her left hand, sliding the band around her ring finger. It fit like a glove, resting perfectly above her knuckle. Nijah’s eyes sparked as she gazed at the jewelry, a symbol of their eternal love.

“It’s beautiful, Julian. Thank you…”

Julian led into the kiss this time, grabbing the back of Nijah’s shirt and pulling her to his lips quickly. She immediately felt swallowed by his passion, letting it consume every part of her being.

As the kiss escalated further, Nijah felt a cramp hit her at full force, forcing her to pull away. “Agh...I’m sorry Jules, I just…”

He pressed a hand down at her lower stomach, rubbing it with little pressure. “Is...everything alright?” He questioned.

“Yes. I think it’s just having a moment.” She made up on the spot.

“Well, you know you have one of the best doctors in Vesuvia right here with you.” He said pridefully, with a wink. “And I think I know exactly what you need.”

That night, Julian made the sweetest love that Nijah could ever receive, touching her in every spot that made her sigh with pleasure and scream with delight. He made her feel like they were the last two people on Earth, with the way his hands fluttered against her skin and the way his hips moved against hers. Nijah had never known sex could be so romantic, so loving, so intimate in this way. Every kiss made her feel closer to him, every stroke made her feel like she knew him for years. She had no idea where he began and she ended as they tangled the sheets together, only for him to find himself deep inside of her.

As they lay together for the last time for a long time, she allowed him to press his chest into her back, feeling the most vulnerable she ever had with a man. She trusted him, knew he would keep his promise, already longed for the day he would return so he could take her away from this place.

His thumb pressed into her hips as he watched her sleep. He chuckled lightly tom himself, wondering how he never deserved such an amazing woman like herself. It broke his heart to leave her, but he knew he would give her a better life as long as he had time.

In that moment, he swore on his life he would do anything to protect her. Even if it meant sacrificing himself.

When Nijah awoke the next morning, Julian already had all his belongings packed and ready to go. She found the new uniform waiting for her at the foot of the bed. She put it on hastily, hoping that he had not left her yet.

As she walked up the stairs, she twirled the ring on her finger with her thumb. She still couldn’t believe it was still on her hand, let alone that it was a symbol of the promise Julian had made to her. In his office, she saw Julian writing a letter to someone he must have cared about. She didn’t want to startle him, the tranquil scene of the rising sun and a single flame calming to her. But, this would be the last time they would see each other in a while.

“Good morning, Julian.”

He jumped in his chair slightly, then turned around to see her. “Good morning, darling. Slept well?”

“Better than before.” She sat the cot down and took a seat, watching him as he wrote. “Who is that for?”

“It’s...for you.” He admitted, scribbling his signature frantically on the paper. “But you can’t read it until I’m gone, got it?”

“Yes, Dr. Jules.” She teased. 

Julian waited for the ink to dry, then folded it up and place it in Nijah’s breast pocket, patting it for security.

“There. Now I’ll be with you wherever you go...again.” He blushed, his fingers trailing over her left hand and brushing against the gold band.

Nijah was usually able to read every emotion he had on his face, and this morning was no different. Julian’s face was overwhelmed with bittersweet happiness. He was excited about his new adventure, ready to save the city, but his heart was torn with even the idea of leaving her behind.

She initiated the embrace, hugging him tightly and hoping she would never need to let go. Julian followed suit, his warmth enveloping her like a warm blanket on a chilly day. He rocked her back and forth in his arms, his lips pressed against the crown of her head. He inhaled her sweet scent, his favorite smell in the entire world. She exhaled as her head rested against his chest, listening to his heart beat.

“Wait for me, Nijah. I promise it will be worth it.”

She looked up at him, knowing that his words were true.

“I’ll wait a thousand years for you, Julian.”

He leaned in for one last kiss, his lips burning a longing feeling throughout Nijah’s entire body. She didn’t want him to go, she wished that she never had to go another day without seeing him.

But, she knew he was helping the city. He could be saving the world.

“Goodbye, Nijah.” He whispered as he pulled away from her, taking his cloak and tying it around his neck. “I’ll be counting down the moments until I see you again.” He took her hand and kissed it reverently.

“I love you, Jules.”

“I love you too, Nijah.”

And, just as quickly as he came into her life, he was gone.

Nijah went about her normal duties, doing her best to pretend everything was fine. Nobody but Katja even knew that she had feelings for Julian, and her friend has barely scratched the surface of their relationship. But, she stood with confidence, chin up and spirits high, just like he would want her to be.

But, as she brought the cart with Selene’s meal and the medical tools she needed for today’s procedure into room 187, she knew that the patient would be able to see right through her facade. She was good at picking up on these things. Thank goodness she was wearing gloves so she couldn’t see her ring.

“Good morning, doc!” She exclaimed, standing to her feet to welcome her. “Is everything okay?”

Nijah took a glance at her dear friend and was taken aback. This would be her third day with the plague, so it would most likely take her life tonight, but...she was shocked at how terrible Selene looked. Her eye sockets made her look like she was a zombie, she had a bright flush over her cheeks, her body looked as frail as a fingernail. She could barely smile without wincing in pain.

“Please, miss, I suggest that you stay seated today…” Nijah rushed over to her friend’s side, helping her sit in the cot. Selene let her lead her, taking a blanket and wrapping it around her shoulders as she sat.

“How ya feeling today, doc?” She asked.

“I’m fine, miss.” She replied quickly, handing her a hot plate of food. “What I want to know is how you’re feeling.”

“Terrible.” Selene admitted, picking the food up with her fingers and eating it carefully. “I feel like I’m being eaten alive. I’ve never been in any more pain.”

Nodding her head, Nijah added the commentary to her notes. “Well hopefully I can give you some relief today.”

From a box on the cart, she pulled out a small vile, holding a small leech. It was one of Julian’s favorite parasites, for it apparently gave patients the most relief. She had her doubts in the tiny little parasite, but for Selene, she would do just about anything.

“Hey, woah there…” Selene set her plate down next to her. “You’re not gonna put that thing on me, right?”

“Of course I am.” Nijah answered, plucking the tiny creature out of the vile. “Trust me, it’s pretty painless.”

Selene stared at the leech squirming around in Nijah’s hand, narrowing her eyes. Her body language said it all - she didn’t trust like that. Eventually, she sighed, accepting her blood-letting fate.

“Well, it could be worse. Where are you gonna put him?”

“Just on your arm right here…”

Nijah wiped down her upper bicep with an alcohol and water solution, and quickly attached the leech onto her skin. Selene initially shouted from the pain as she felt the teeth dig into her skin. But, after a moment passed, her voice went quiet as she watched it sucking her blood.

“Hey, it actually kinda tickles!”

Feeling slightly more relieved, Nijah watched as the leech grew bigger and bigger, taking more of Selene’s bad blood out of her body. Maybe Julian was on to something...she thought as she watched the scene play in front of her.

That night at dinner, Nijah felt completely miserable. She knew the fate of her dearest friend would be coming soon, Julian had been gone for quite some time, and her cramps and mood swings were not getting any better. The only saving grace was that the chefs made pumpkin bread as a special.

Nijah sat next to Katja, and she immediately knew something was wrong. “Nijah, you’re hiding something from me. What’s wrong?” She placed her book down on the table, giving her full attention to her friend.

“You know how when I lost my first patient, I felt worthless and like I was a bad doctor?”

“Yes…”

“Well now I feel worse because…” Nijah took a deep breath, “my current patient is my best friend from home.”

Katja placed a hand over her heart, feeling it break for her dear friend. “Oh no...does she know it’s you?”

“Of course not.” She tore a piece of the pumpkin bread and placed it in her mouth. It tasted delicious, but it was far from fresh. “If she knew it was me, she would never forgive me for not knowing how to keep her alive.”

“I don’t think it would be like that…” Katja trailed off. “She knows that you tried everything you could, right? Or you at least tried?”

“I did essentially everything we were taught to do,” Nijah recalled. “I even visited her multiple times a day to do all the different treatments we learned. Nothing has helped.”

“Could Dr. Devorak help you?” She looked around the room, confused as to why he hadn’t arrived.

“He’s gone. Off to work on the cure at the palace.”

Katja nodded in understanding, a frown crossing over her face. “How far along is your friend?”

“This is day three. She could pass away at any moment.”

Katja closed her eyes and shook her head. “Nijah...go to her. Even if she doesn’t know it’s you...she needs you now more than ever.”

She’s right. I’ll never forgive myself if I let her die alone.

“All right, then I should get going. See you later tonight…” Nijah trailed off, making her way to the patient’s wing.

Strapping on her mask, she felt her heart racing and a feeling of dread drench her entire body. She expected to lose patients, but she never expected to lose a dear friend.

“Hey, doc…” Nijah heard Selene croak weakly.

“Good evening, miss. How are you holding up?” She could see that the plague has nearly taken Selene away completely. She was lying face up in the cot, the blanket wrapped around her like a baby in a swaddle. She managed to pull an arm out and wave her hand to greet the doctor. Nijah could see that she was all skin and bones, that it was nearly her time.

“I don’t think…” Selene coughed, covering her mouth with her fist. Nijah swore she saw blood fall from her lips, but she wiped it away too fast for her to see. “I’m not going to make it, am I?”

Nijah shook her head, unable to verbalize the truth.

“That’s too bad…” Selene closed her eyes. “I really thought I could start a life with Asra. He’s so sweet and charming, treats me just right. I wanted him to meet Nijah. And we all could have got along with that one guy...what was his name? Hah, I never learned it. But she also met some guy at the masquerade. Very alluring…”

“Sounds like you and Nijah have a great relationship,” she smiled, happy that at least in times like this, Selene wished she was around.

Selene was able to prop herself up on her free arm, grunting on the way up. “Hey, I know this is odd, but y’know how some people have like, last requests before they die?”

“Sure.”

“I know this is weird...but Nijah would always let me lay her head in her lap whenever I was stressed. Do you mind if I…”

Nijah nodded her head. “Not a problem.”

She made her way to the cot, helping Selene sit up so she could settle in just the right spot. Her body felt light as a feather, compared to the womanly figure she once knew so well. Slowly, gently, she laid her head down across her legs, allowing her hair to fan out just the perfect way.

“Thanks. I feel much more at ease now.” Selene smiled up at the plague doctor’s mask, getting used to the feeling of someone lying across her once more.

“No problem.”

“Hey, have you ever had a best friend?”

“I’d like to think I have.”

“Good. And if not...you can always say that I was.” Selene nuzzled into her lap. “Y’know, just in case.”

Oh, I do...Nijah’s heart split in half, holding back the tears she could already feel coming.

“Oh! I need to tell you the story of how Nijah and I met!” Selene said excitedly.

Nijah smiled behind the mask. “Please, tell me...and don’t leave out a single detail.” All the while, she was remembering the story with her, so long ago…

She could remember how much she was crying. Some of the other students were bullying her because of her flower obsession. They thought it was stupid and that she needs to focus on the more important subjects they were learning in school. She was seven.

After school let out, she ran off into the forest. She didn’t tell her parents where she was going. She just knew that she had to get away.

She ran as far and fast as she could, hopping over gnarly tree roots and sticks, scaring off the wild animals that lived there with her wails. Not even the crow, which flew high above with its menacing caws, could scare her off. It was almost like she was being led somewhere by magic.

Not long after, her feet stopped in front of a row of bushes. Hidden behind them lay a large field of flowers, filled with beautiful colors as far as the eye could see. Nijah could name them all - carnations, violets, orchids, hyacinths...and she knew all their meanings, too.

She took a step into the flower field, letting the fresh scents be her guide through the wilderness. Here was where she felt safe. Not back in the city of Vesuvia. Not in her schools. Not even the front step of her home. As she meandered through the floral maze, she began singing a song that her mother had taught her a few years back”

“Flower, grow and grow,

“Bloom when the sun shines,

“And when the rains come,

“Still you will shine your light...”

As Nijah walked through the field, she paused. She heard someone else’s voice echoing with hers. Curious about the sound, she continued her song...

“Bloom to show us all,

“That you are divine,

“When the sun goes down,

“Show me what once was mine…”

In the middle of the flowers, she saw another girl, about her age, singing along with her. She had recognized her from school. She was a loner, much like Nijah seemed to be. The girl turned around as she walked over to her, dark curls blowing in the breeze.

“Oh!” She exclaimed. “Was that you singing?”

Nijah nodded, a little shy to be meeting her so suddenly.

“Your voice is so pretty! Let’s be friends!” she held her hand out to shake on their new acquaintanceship.

Nijah accepted, surprised at how enthusiastic this new person was. Just how excited was she to have a new friend, especially her of all people?

“My name is Selene. What’s yours?”

“N...ni...nijah.” She stuttered anxiously.

“Nice to meet you! I can tell that we’re going to be friends forever.” Selene pulled Nijah into a tight hug, nearly squeezing her to death. Nijah wasn’t used to this form of affection, but she knew something that could be just as good…

Nijah peeked over Selene’s shoulder and saw just what she needed. As her new friend put her down, Nijah trotted over to the edge of a rosebush. Trying her best to avoid the pricklies, she managed to pull out a single yellow rose. She presented it to her new friend with a cautious smile.

“For friendship.”

Selene gushed, a light blush dusting over her face. “For me? Thank you!” She carefully took the flower from Nijah’s fingers, smelling the lovely aroma.

Nijah felt a wave of relief. Having a friend felt good.

“This is the nicest thing anyone has ever given me. I promise.” Selene grabbed Nijah by the hand. “Come on, let’s go back home. I want you to meet my momma!”

“...and from that day forward, we were inseparable. We would go to that field every year to celebrate another year as friends. It seems like we’ll be missing this year, though...”

Nijah’s eyes welled with tears from her memories. They were so precious to her, and she never thought she would be looking back on them like this. So tragic, to have her friend dying in her arms this way.

“I...I think you two will find each other again. In another life.” Nijah rambled.

“You think so?”

“Yeah, the world works in mysterious ways.”

For a moment, they were silent. Nijah tried her best to dry her eyes, batting them quickly so her tears would go back to where they came from. Selene seemed to be thinking deeply about something, letting her face frown as she concentrated.

“Doc, I have to thank you. For trying to save me. You...you made me feel like I was more than a patient.”

Nijah refused to say anything. She would lose herself if she did.

“I never imagined dying this way. I imagined living my life, with my friends and a lover, having a family of my own...but hey, maybe in another life, right?”

“Maybe so.”

“I wish you well doctor. I hope that maybe, we can meet again.” Selene reached up to caress the doctor’s mask tenderly, like she was saying goodbye. “Th...thank you…”

And, in that moment, Selene took her last breath.

Nijah closed her eyes with her fingers and rested her hand back on her body. She took her mask off, letting it fall to the ground as she could no longer hold back the tears, holding Selene’s body close to her own.

“Goodbye, my friend…”

She wasn’t sure how long she stayed in the room where she died. All she knew was that she cried until her body was completely dry, unable to feel anything anymore.

The next morning, Nijah still felt completely empty. But she didn’t know how else she could feel. She had lost one of the people that meant the world to her.

Selene had requested that after her body was cremated, that Doctor 187 would bury her by the sea, so she could find herself with Nijah someday. For the sake of her deceased friend, Nijah rolled out of bed, fiddling with the ring to help her not feel so depressed. Julian would want me to do this, she thought as she stretched her body out from her sleepless night.

As she made her way to the bathrooms, she kept on getting frightened stares from the other doctors. They backed away from her, had her name on their lips, even ran out of her way as she trudged forward. Even Katja looked at her in fear. But she didn’t care. They don’t know what she’s going through. 

She assumed that she looked rough because she didn’t sleep a wink. A cruel way to go about it, she thought as she opened the door to the bathroom.

Nijah took a bucket and threw some cold water over her body to wake herself up. The freezing temperature jolted her body, feeling her senses go into overdrive.

As she patted her body dry with a towel, she walked over to the mirror instinctively to fix her hair. But when she saw her reflection, she dropped her towel in horror.

The whites of her eyes had turned bright red.

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[thoustve]

gonna ramble below the cut bc im tired and frustrated jksdjkfd. hopefully it cuts properly on mobile so yall can just scroll past if you dont want to hear me ramble/be whiny for just a minute

so. wauuguhg. i know it was necessary but i hate that this cough is costing me money and STILL hasnt gone away.

so ive had a cough (which is pretty much chronic at this point ive had it somewhere around 8-10+ weeks now i think? idk, ive lost track of time at this point, its been that long with it and i've still got it, though some days are better, some days are worse lol), and it had been like 3 weeks or so with the cough at the time, had called the doc to make a doc appt. but in order to make the doc appt, i needed to get a covid test - not an at home test, but a pcr/lab test (which is fine, gotta be safe/sure before seeing doc abt it so im not spreading it, i get it yknow?) but anyway, that test came back negative as i suspected it would bc i had just been sick with it in january and even though you can get reinfected in that time, i hadn't been around anyone with it or gone out in that time, so it seemed unlikely.

so went to the doc abt it couple of weeks ago, got blood drawn and seen by doc, got prescribed medicine, the general shebang - meds helped a little for like a moment - it never really… fully got rid of the cough, but it helped me have better days with it. for a moment. but it didnt get rid of it and still hasnt gone away! but anyway. yknow, paid for that appt, paid for the meds. a week or two passes and the blood results come back and cholesterols fucky, fine, whatever, im working on trying to manage what i eat because of that, but i gotta go back 2nd week in june to get my blood drawn again for it, so thats like, more money for another doc appt/at least blood lab test to check that out again (and i may just make it a full appt again if i can afford to because this cough is still stickin around)

but not only that, apparently when i got tested for covid was after the hrsa fund had run up, and im uninsured. so not only was that covid test not free/did i get sent a bill for it (which i guess the good thing is i can pay it in parts/it doesnt have to be done all at once...), but it's going to cost me only just a bit under what the doc appt was/roughly around the same ballpark. so two doc appts + a covid test to pay for and i still feel like shit ksdfjk. and chances are if i go to the doc abt it, either he's going to brush it off and i'll continue to have a cough and feel like shit, or i'll have to go to a specialist and spend more money so there's like. no winning, i guess. to top it off im sore as fuck from having to start work at walmart again because i needed to make money again and hadn't heard from other places in a while/never really was getting anywhere further than interviews with places. i guess the good thing is im making $14/hr and since i wanted to go part time this time, i'm making roughly the same amount of money working $14/hr for 4 days that i was when i worked $11 for 5 days like 2 years ago.

but it sucks because im sore from starting work there again (and i think i'll continue to be because i've been in a lot more just.... general pain these days), ive still got a cough i've had for weeks upon weeks, while the fatigue isnt as bad as it was 6 months ago i AM still having to fight fatigue really hard when at work just to make it through the day..... and man im just exhausted

[maple-moose-muffin]

@phaltu tagged anyone who wanted to do it, and I'm waiting on a pizza, soooo

What is your total posted word count on AO3? (Go to your Works, then click Statistics.)

61224. I've got a lot more on my old ff.net account too, plus like 20k+ in wips. Man the day I finish Mercury is going to be an event.

How often do you write?

I try for daily, but life's been harder lately and I've lost my energy to do much of anything. I'm going to try and pull myself back on the horse soon though.

Do you have a routine for writing?

For Titanium Brand specifically, I always write the first draft of a chapter in my tiger notebook. My goal is to fill the book by the end of this year, and I'm fairly close to meeting that. Writing it physically helps me get over the blinking cursor writer's block thing. For other stuff, I have a header I always copy-paste (you see it on all my Tumblr posts when I upload a fic: genre, word count, etc.). I like to make my word docs a dark gray with white text. It's easier on my eyes for late night writing and it gets rid of that block that comes when I've got a huge expanse of white space staring at me. Beyond that, I try to find music that gets me in the mindset of what I'm writing and then go for it. If I'm having a blocky day I'll give myself a time limit, as in I have to write for one whole hour, and that helps. I don't let myself read over what I write until the first draft is done, also. Otherwise I'll spend a million years editing before I even have a full piece.

What's your favorite kinks/tropes/pairing?

I think its pretty obvious I'm a sheithen hahaha. As for kinks, we do not have time for my list but let's simplify and say if it takes heavy trust I'm probably all over it.

I am absolutely weak for the 'only you have ever understood me' trope. Like, childhood friends or teammates or whatever -- lone wolf with the one person who changed their life. Gets me every fucking time. Also soft healing things, like quiet intimate stargazing or something. Just existing in a super narrowed down moment. It's in like 90% of my fics lol.

(also sex as a coping mechanism is excellent)

Do you have a favorite fic of yours?

Of my posted stuff, I'm leaning toward Vacuity. It turned out to be really self indulgent because it's my least read piece lol but there's a LOT of me in there.

Your fic with the most kudos?

Black Lion Brews. It's funny because I'm back and forth on whether or not I like it that much lol. It's a lot lighter than my usual stuff, a lot less intimate. But it's a fun piece and I had fun writing it.

Anything you don't like about your writing?

My sentence structure is really repetitive. When I write the words come in a kind of rhythm, and it's always the same pattern. I feel like when I read over my stuff for editing I keep seeing the same three sentences over and over again. I also need to work better on pov -- particularly when I'm writing Shiro, who understands Keith better than anyone, he starts to be omniscient which isn't great.

Now something you do like?

This is kinda pompous I guess but I like the poetic nature of a lot of my pieces. I kind of go wild with descriptions when I'm setting up the tone of a story, so I end up with all these metaphors and muse-y ramblings that I think are really pretty. I like to think I do tone and atmosphere pretty well.

Tagging: I'll tag @cobrilee @roseroyaly @nonamemanga and @belovedsheith if you guys wanna play. And anyone else who wants to try it out ^-^

[vannadee37]

Aahhh… October! Not only is Fall in full swing around here in the East Tennessee mountains, but in the blogosphere, it’s Blogtober! I did this challenge last year, so for the second year in a row now, I’m challenging myself to write a blog every day this month! So welcome to my little corner of the blogosphere and to Green Acres Meets Paris! I hope you’ll stick around with me this month where hopefully you’ll discover some new favorites {fall fashions, booties, movies, books, recipes, and more} as well as learn a little more about me!

I discovered Blogtober last year when another blogger friend {Tamara of Love of Mode} wrote about the Blogtober challenge on her blog. I did a Blogtober challenge last year, and I’m not going to lie… it was hard coming up with 31 blog topics. I normally only write about 10-12 blog posts a month and those mostly comprise of monthly series {pre-determined by my editorial calendar}, like “Man of Style”, “Woman of Style”, “Wanderlust Wednesday”, “Dinner Party”, and “Links I Love”. So there are five blog posts you’ll need to check out later this month!

Now on to Day 1 of this challenge…October is my favorite month, not only because I got married in this month back in 1998, but it’s also when the colors start to change and there is a crispness in the air that just smells like Fall! I like pulling out my scarves and my booties and sweaters. Coming up this month, I’ll share some fall fashion inspiration as well as some booties I’m wishing were in my closet.

As I mentioned above, I got married in October 1998 to a good ol’ country boy named Mike. Together we live in his grandmother’s house, which his grandfather and his brother-in-law built with their own hands back in the 1950s. We live out in the country, where my neighbors across the road are cows {although I haven’t seen them recently, so they may be living in a different pasture down the road somewhere}.

So as an introduction to me and my blog, “Green Acres Meets Paris”, I thought I’d share 10 Facts About Me. A couple of years ago, I was reading blog post after blog post where bloggers were sharing 50 random facts about themselves. So I decided to give it a go and wrote a couple of “random facts about me” blog posts. It was a two-part series where I shared a total of 50 facts about me.

Some of those facts from two years ago have changed, because {believe it or not} a lot has happened in two years. For instance, I shared in the first “random facts about me” post was that I’d never been to Disney World or Disneyland. Well, now I can that I have been to Disney World. I went there this past June with Elizabeth and Pam, a couple of fellow bloggers, when we were in Orlando for the BlogHer #17 conference. I also mentioned in this post that we have three dogs. Well, our oldest furbaby, Dakota, passed away two years ago on November 11th {on Veteran’s Day, to be exact} at the tender age of 16. So we now just have two dogs, Daisy and Doc. However, we were adopted by a sweet country cat {loving named KitKat} who gave birth to three kittens, although only two survived.

Want more random facts about me? I going to try not to repeat some of my facts from a couple of years ago. So, here goes…

1. I finally upgraded from my mini iPad to a MacPro to write my blog posts. It is much easier to type on my Mac as opposed to the mini keyboard I was using with my mini iPad.

2. I got a Vespa at Thanksgiving last year, but because it’s a 250cc, it requires a motorcycle license, which I’ve yet to get. But I will get it… soon I hope! I occasionally ride it to and from dinner with my husband, who follows behind me on his Harley Davidson Heritage Softtail. We have taken a couple of short trips to neighboring towns {around 50 miles round-trip}, but I haven’t gotten up the nerve yet to ride it to work. Traffic is crazy busy, and the even crazier drivers on Pellissippi Parkway heading towards Knoxville often reach speeds of 65mph or more. I need to feel more comfortable riding my Vespa and and taking short trips around my neck of the woods before I venture into the high-speed world of the big city.

His ride vs My ride: Last year at Thanksgiving, we bought a Harley Davidson motorcycle and a Vespa as early Christmas presents to ourselves.

3. As much as my husband loves car shows and going to them, I’m usually bored when I accompany him to the shows. I either end up sitting behind whatever car we take to show {the 1929 Ford or the 1965 Rambler American or the unfinished BroncLo} reading a magazine or a book, or I walk around and let him ramble on about the wheels, the engine, or the stance of the car or truck. I go mainly to support him and his business, The RPM Garage {go check him out on Instagram, @rpmgarage22}.

My husband recently joined Instagram {@rpmgarage22}, so head over to his profile and check him out!

4. I started BIHRT {pellet therapy} in March of this year. Since my total hysterectomy in June 2015, I was ushered into surgical menopause with a flurry of severe hot flashes, night sweats, decreased energy, low libido, insomnia, and hair loss. I did some research and read several books by Suzanne Somers where she wrote about menopause and bio-identical hormone replacement therapy. BIHRT has changed my life. I have three small pellets injected into my buttock/hip {alternating hips every three months} and only have mild symptoms about a week or two before my next round of pellet therapy. Want to learn more about this? You can email me or leave a comment below and I’ll tell you all about my experience with pellet therapy.

Bio-Identical Hormone Replacement Therapy {a.k.a. Pellet Therapy} – Who knew three small pellets could make such a difference!?!

5. I chew a lot of gum, sometimes three or four pieces a day, and I chew it way past its prime, where there is no flavor left. I always {and only} chewed Big Red in high school. There were a few kids in my Economics class who called me “Big Red” because I had Big Red gum with me at all times. I’m not sure they really knew my real name. I have expanded my chewing gum flavors to include spearmint and peppermint, but I love the flavor of Big Red the most.

6. When I publish a blog post, I try to schedule them to post at 11:00 AM EST. I’ve read a lot of other blog posts from so-called blogging experts that say to be consistent in when you post {i.e., days of the week, time of day}. Don’t ask me how I came up with the 11 AM post time. Just trying to be consistent, I guess. Except for today’s post, all other posts are {or will be} published “on time”.

“Paris is Always a Good Idea” … this notebook holds my blog ideas, and more.

7. I have tried keeping a bullet journal, but I am not as artistic as all those other bullet journal keepers. My current bullet journal {pictured above} is where I write down ideas for blog posts, keep travel plan ideas {like our upcoming trip to Las Vegas}, and create small mood boards. I also have a Moleskine weekly calendar that I got in one of my FabFitFun boxes last year, and I used it all the time in the beginning. Now it’s more of an after-thought. I still carry it everywhere with me and I do look in it about once a week. Then I realize I’m not even looking at the right week, or heck, even the right month! Gotta get better at organizing my day/week/month.

8. My husband and I still have date nights. We are childless {by choice}, except for our furbabies. He will occasionally call me on my cell phone and ask me out on a date, as if we had just recently met. And sometimes on Saturday or Sunday, when I’m inside the house {blogging or cleaning or whatever} and he’s out working in his garage {a.k.a. The RPM Garage}, he will call me on my cell phone and order breakfast or lunch. We have been together almost 21 years, and on Oct. 17th, we will celebrate our 19th anniversary.

#gallery-0-5 { margin: auto; } #gallery-0-5 .gallery-item { float: left; margin-top: 10px; text-align: center; width: 50%; } #gallery-0-5 img { border: 2px solid #cfcfcf; } #gallery-0-5 .gallery-caption { margin-left: 0; } /* see gallery_shortcode() in wp-includes/media.php */

Me and Mike celebrating our 11th anniversary at the No Name Pub in Big Pine Keys, the Florida Keys.

Me and Mike in Colorado, dreaming of retiring in the small town of Cripple Creek.

9. I have still never been outside the continental United States. When I win the lottery, I’m going to do a lot of traveling! First stop… Paris! Why Paris? Well, my blog is “Green Acres Meets Paris” so I need to “meet” Paris IRL! Maybe I need to just write French President Emmanuel Macron and see if he can help make my dream become reality by inviting me to Paris! A girl can dream, right?

10. I’m like Sheldon on “The Big Bang Theory”. I have “my seat” on the couch and if we have company over to our house {which to be honest with you, is rare}, I don’t really like anyone sitting in my spot. If someone does happen to sit in my chair, I then usually sit on “my” bar stool and secretly wish they would leave so I can have my spot back. {Side bar: My husband and I got rid of our dining room table in favor of a tall bar, which is why we have bar stools.}

So there you have it – 10 random facts about me. What is a random fact about you? Leave your random fact in the comment section below and see if we have something in common!

Until tomorrow…

Yours Truly, Vanessa

Blogtober 2017, Day 1: Welcome to My “Green Acres” Aahhh... October! Not only is Fall in full swing around here in the East Tennessee mountains, but in the blogosphere, it's…